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thegodcyclecomic · 1 year ago

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Hello again! Thank you for your post that covered my question on what sources of inspiration you used for Athena. It was super enlightening!

I know this is a tall order because the myths are broad, but could you discuss what aspects of characterization and dimensions you feel are often ignored about Athena? This is me practically begging for a meta post, but I genuinely love hearing your thoughts on her because I agree with your assessment that roughly most media tend to lean to simplistic aspects of Athena. I like hearing from your inspiration notes that you thought of Athena’s childhood with Pallas and how she is more of a pragmatic character that has agency.

I have a lot of thoughts on this so this post won't be as comprehensive as I originally intended, I will be briefly covering the points I want to list out. I try my best to base my writing of Athena on the canon source material, but there will be aspects that veer into my own interpretation/headcanon territory. All Iliad passages here are from the Robert Fitzgerald translation.

Anyway, here are the aspects of characterization I think are normally ignored when authors write Athena.

Her calculating nature / intelligence

This one sounds weird because it's paradoxically the first thing that comes to mind when writing Athena. The issue with this is the same issue when amateur authors try to write characters who are smarter than them: They resort to cheap shortcuts and stereotypes to show a character is "smart".

Examples of this would be the overusage of chess imagery. It's a game that wouldn't exist in Ancient Greece anyway, and it's a measure of spatial memorization rather than strategy. In real warfare, everything is variable to change. Chess pieces don't have motivations or biases that could influence their actions. Opening moves in chess have their counters, but real-life tactics allow you more freedom on how to engage with it.

The next writing shortcut people resort to re: Athena's intelligence is how they use her reading books to show she is "smart" but don't really elaborate on what kind of books she reads of what topics she specializes in which is already in the mythos that can give you lots of ideas.

I mentioned this before but when I started TGC I had a hard time characterizing Athena at first because I didn't understand her domains too well. So you know what I did? I picked up books about military history, Ancient Greek laws, political theory, philosophy, and similar. Learning about these things gave me a perspective of "how would the personification of the state act if they were a person?". Ancient Greece was big on the Social Contract, as exemplified in Socrates's speech in Plato's Apology.

There's a lot more to it, I'm not doing it justice at all in this post. But that's the idea. In the Oresteia, Athena created the practice of cross-examination for murder trials, and then immediately proceeded to undermine the entire justice process by attempting to bribe the prosecution (the Furies). In the Iliad Book 4, she disguises herself as a Trojan soldier to trick Laodokos to shoot Menelaus to break the ceasefire-- essentially enacting what we in modern day would call a False Flag Operation. It's so quintessentially Politician(tm) of her to do.

Athena's intelligence comes from how she seeks to improve and make efficient current systems, like her strategy to Ares's warfare. Or her various inventions in mythos. Another one would be her ability to manipulate people and situations to push for the outcomes she wants. You can see this in her various dialogues in the Epic Cycle:

Athena grifting in the Odyssey in a speech she makes to Zeus about why she should be allowed to assist Odysseus.

520: Athena kept the pace behind them, bearing her shield of storm, immortal and august, whose hundred golden-plaited tassles, worth a hekatomb each one, floated in air. So down the ranks that dazzling goddess went to stir the attack, and each man in his heart grew strong to fight and never quit the melee, for at her passage war itself became lovelier than return, lovelier than sailing in the decked ships to their own native land -Iliad Book 4

and this

100: “Son of Lykaon, I have in mind an exploit that may tempt you, tempt a fighting heart. Have you the gall to send an arrow like a fork of lightning home against Menelaus? Every Trojan heart would rise, and every man would praise you, especially Paris, the prince— you would be sure to come by glittering gifts if he could see the warrior, Menelaus, the son of Atreus, brought down by your bow, then bedded on a dolorous pyre! Come now, brace yourself for a shot at Menelaus. engage to pay Apollo, the bright archer, a perfect hekatomb of firstling lambs when you go home to your old town, Zeleia.” That was Athena’s way, leading him on, the foolish man, to folly. -Iliad Book 4

from what I can understand, Athena's domain of wisdom is not just limited to giving insight to people-- but also in obscuring the truth and leading others to their ruin. Which is in line with one of Athena's epithets which is Απατουρια (Apaturia) "Deciever".

Often times in other adaptations, they relegate Athena's intelligence to spouting random facts or a "nerdy" personality. Or they nerf it so that she doesn't solve these braindead plots in 2 seconds. Take Athena from Lore Olympus for example, the Athena of canon would've never allowed any of this shit with Persephone and Apollo undermining Zeus to happen TT_TT if you have to make your characters stupid for the story to work, then it is a bad story hands down.

2. Interpretations regarding Athena's relationship with heroes

This is something I see a lot where Athena is written to have a personal investment in her heroes like they are "her blorbos" (actual words I've seen people on this hellsite use for this). I'd like to direct your attention to this passage from of Athena speaking in Iliad book 8.

My father, now, is full of a black madness, evil and perverse. All that I strive for he brings to nothing: He will not remember how many times I intervened to save his son, worn out in trials set by Eurystheus. How Heracles would cry to heaven! And Zeus Would send me out of heaven to be his shield. Had I forseen this day that time he went down, bidden by Eurystheus, between Death’s narrow gates to bring from Erebos the watchdog of the Lord of Undergloom, he never would have left the gorge of Styx!

The way I understand this passage is that Athena does a lot of "NPC questgiver" tasks for Zeus in an attempt to curry favor from him. It's a calculated choice on her part and not something she does out of the kindness of her heart. A similar situation occurs when Orestes asks Athena for aid, she helps him on the insistence of Apollo.

Regarding Odysseus, I'm sure there is some fondness she has for him-- but that doesn't stop her from allowing him to be struck by storm (as collateral damage for the crimes of Ajax the lesser for raping Cassandra in Athena's temple). Or from her setting up the suitor problem so she could convince him to murder them all.

If you've noticed, all of Athena's champions are some kind of high-ranking warriors. A king or general or prince. You would think that the goddess of wisdom would favor the philosophers more, or would choose more often to avoid violence. But Athena is very quick to choose violence, it's who she is. And she needs a tool that she can use as a blade.

(these are my interpretations, if you disagree thats fine) 3. Athena as a "peaceful" goddess

This one makes me laugh and also drives me insane.

There are two Homeric hymns that directly and clearly contradict this idea.

(HOMERIC HYMNS 5 - 33, TRANSLATED BY H. G. EVELYN-WHITE) a. The Homeric Hymn to Athena

Of Pallas Athene, guardian of the city, I begin to sing. Dread is she, and with Ares she loves deeds of war, the sack of cities and the shouting and the battle. It is she who saves the people as they go out to war and come back. Hail, goddess, and give us good fortune with happiness!

b. The Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite

...Yet there are three hearts that she cannot bend nor yet ensnare. First is the daughter of Zeus who holds the aegis, bright-eyed Athene; for she has no pleasure in the deeds of golden Aphrodite, but delights in wars and in the work of Ares, in strifes and battles and in preparing famous crafts.

What I find insightful about the second one is that it gives a specific reason for why Athena cannot be moved by romantic love. It's because war occupies the space in her heart that love would normally be. Both hymns specifically name drop Ares, so the idea that Athena finds Ares's violence to be repulsive is just blatantly untrue. If anything, she adores it. The time it would become an issue for her is when his rampages act against her greater interests, which is the source of all their duels in canon.

Other proof for Athena being generally violent can be inferred from her characterization in the Iliad, the instances of which are too numerous to list here.

4. Athena's personality defined by her lack of childhood.

I mentioned this in another post, but Athena was born from Zeus as an adult (though in TGC I changed this to being born as a pre-teen. This is intentional and serves a purpose). What we know about psychology today is that for normal social and emotional development, young children need to form an attachment with at least one primary caregiver. Athena being born as an adult means that she would've missed out on important development milestones that other gods would've gone through.

I will preemptively say that before you bring up the "theyre Gods they're not like humans" that as far as mythos is concerned, the way that gods behave and think is almost exactly identical to that of humans. They experience the same range of emotions humans do, as well as grief and trauma. So I will consider that their psychology is also the same with the difference being that they might experience mental degradation not typically seen in humans because of cumulative negative experiences over a long period.

Back to Athena, the only framework she would have to start from literally being born yesterday would be the fragments of memories she gleaned from being inside of Zeus's head. I think this would be confusing for her, as these are from the first-person perspective of Zeus, so using his memories but lacking context for those experiences might lead to an early identity crisis. Athena would then have to play catchup in learning extremely fast everything to fill those blanks.

This is why I think Athena has a hard time forming personal connections. She doesn't have a true equal. Athena's relationships are defined by power imbalances and transactions, and that is how she understands relationships in general to work.

5. Athena's humanity.

I think what bothers me the most about Athena in adaptations is the lack of humanity given to her character. I know I just went over why she's a manipulative machiavellian character, but what I see is that Athena often gets relegated to the Unfun Stick in the Mud character. She exists to ruin the fun of the Fun Chaotic Dudes Dionysus, Hermes, and Apollo. She doesn't have anything going to her except being a snitch and a daddy's girl, or worse, she exists to be "put in her place" by other male gods. This is why I really dislike Fedini's and "incorrect greek gods" take on Athena. I think there's this underlying biases that an ace-coded goddess can't have anything interesting about her, because all media on tumblr and fandom these days are broken down to fucking shipping instead of seriously engaging with the source material. I've seen people call her a Mary Sue or act like she is an annoying bitch for exhibiting personality traits that would be praised in a male character (the traits of a Byronic Hero).

Portrayals of Athena go one extreme or another, either she is a wholly Good goddess or she is a Villain/mere annoyance. It's a real shame to see, because I hope I can show you now that she is a wonderfully complex and morally grey character. I want to see Athena's curiosity and how she tries to understand the world from her own perspective. I want to explore her relationships with Zeus and her siblings like Ares and Apollo outside of the Meme'fication of Greek mythology.

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now, I hope this answers your question. If you have any point you'd like me to explain more, I'd be glad to make another post in greater detail.

#athena #tagamemnon #greek mythology #greek myths #the god cycle #ask

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1solone · 1 year ago

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🇺🇸MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND🇺🇸

Unfortunately, today, way too many people look at Memorial Day as a recreational day, simply a later date from school or a settled day from work. Military families and families of countless veterans, on another hand, have been afflicted by the pain and suffering of seeing their brothers, husbands or children set off to war, you start with the American Revolution until today's actions in the Middle East, through the devastating Civil war, into World War I and II, and throughout the Vietnam and Korean Wars. In their mind, Memorial Day is just a day to think on their loss and suffering, and to honor those who have served to guard America's interests.

Saying goodbye to a family member you could at almost no time see again is probably the most devastating feeling a relative may perpetually have, because they only never truly know if that individual is coming back. Their heart skips a defeat everytime that the doorbell rings while their family member is abroad, performing the best duty they'll perpetually perform while they defend justice and the quest for liberty. In the home, though, their family members dread as soon as they open that door, since the pulse quickens and horrible thoughts of a note of imminent loss haunts them. They fear answering the phone. They dread reading their mail. Life itself becomes an apparently endless, helpless watch for news, hopefully good news, but potentially news of the worst possible kind.

For a few people, the lucky ones, they just endure worries of losing a family member in battle for a couple years, but that in and of itself might have long-lasting, life altering ramifications. Worries causes great stress, making families walk on eggshells for entire tours of duty, as children go without their mother or father for long periods of time. For too many, the headlines and the ramifications are worse. They lose a family member to war, or their family member is seriously injured, maimed, or psychologically damaged while they defend our nation and its interests.

Let's not your investment veterans themselves and the sacrifices they've made. We only have to start the headlines to start to see the hardships they face, the daily dangers they deal with, and the horrors they endure. Veterans are and have now been our protectors, our defenders, and often at great cost, even for the survivors of war. War itself is hell, since the famous saying goes, and these many, wonderful men and women have entered hell willingly for centuries to guard the America they love, and to create another for many Americans.

In just about any case you are able to consider, on Memorial Day, these veterans who protect us from dangers abroad, and who've protected us from dangers for centuries, deserve our respect and our remembrance, and yet Memorial Day 2024 Weekend has converted into a cook out once you start the pool for the summer.

"Traditional observance of Memorial day has diminished on the years. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten this is and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, neglected. Many people no further remember the appropriate flag etiquette for the day."

In days past, great parades were thrown in honor of the wonderful veterans. Cities and townships gave speeches and held Memorial galas. In Israel, even today, to celebrate their Memorial Day, their television lists the names of all of the dead they've lost to war, and that simple process takes all the day. Perhaps we don't need to attend quite that extreme to honor the veterans who've served to guard us, but nonetheless, our ambivalence towards the real meaning behind Memorial Day is just a bit much.

It's high time that people do remember the American veterans which have made Memorial day and those many cook outs and days off that the Holiday now symbolizes possible. This season, we must try to go to a battle memorial, the grave of an expert, or at the least stop in a minute of silence reserved for the numerous who've sacrificed their lives to guard and supply the wonderful lives and opportunities that people have open to us today. This season, we must also honor and remember the numerous sacrifices of the families of veterans and war heroes, because if you believe about any of it, they sacrificed a lot for many of us Americans themselves.… ‿ℒℴνℯ⁀❤️always with ℒℴѵℯ ❤️🕊🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

#memorialdayweekend #MemorialDay2024

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antiradqueer · 2 years ago

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radqueers go "OMG THATS HORRIBLE HOW COULD THEY??? THEY DONT BELONG IN THE RADQUEER COMMUNITY!!!!!!" when someone does something bad as a very performative way of deflecting and making themselves seem like good people. like in public theyll go "omg thats HORRIBLE how could someone EVER commit bestiality??" but when you get into their private servers you see them being radically pro-contact claiming that its "not actually abusive". even though they cry and scream about pro-abuse people, when you peel back the "anti-harm, anti-abuse, anti-grooming, pro-consensual contact" aesthetic flags and labels and subterms you find that they support the exact same things as the people they claim to hate. when someone says theyre a "transitioning transnazi" they all freak out over it and claim to completely condemn it, but then you see them making nazi moodboards and saying "yeah i say racial slurs i cant reclaim in private to make myself feel better" and creating nazi ocs and going on and on about how attractive and cool nazis are.

they can deny and scream and defend all they want but everyone who knows about the community knows that theyre just as bad as the people they claim to hate. they can hide behind "pro-consent/anti-abuse" and "anti-transitioning transharmful" and "don't assume someone is being abused based off of stereotypes" and all their other cute aesthetic phrases but everyone knows that when you look underneath those then you find that its all lies and vague phrasing to make them sound better than they really are.

as someone who was in the radqueer community, i saw firsthand how these people would lie and make up cute phrases and repeat the same vague phrasing over and over. its designed purely to trick people and lure impressionable kids/uneducated people in, to trick them and make them think that everything is normal and acceptable until they step back and realize months later that everyone around them is a groomer and an abuser. they give you little bits of truth at a time to make you think that what theyre saying is normal, but those little seemingly-inconsequential things add up until you find yourself supporting adults dating toddlers and humans fucking animals.

they paint everything as "it's okay if it's consensual" but keep the phrasing vague so you just agree and dont question what they consider "consensual". i experienced how theyd say "well not ALL relationships between adults and minors are bad - an 18 year old dating a 17 year old is perfectly normal", something that's pretty true and makes sense, and then slowly make it more and more extreme until theyve manipulated and tricked you into believing "well an adult dating a 10 year old is fine actually, children are known to start experiencing romantic attraction and understanding romance around that age".

once youre too deep in the community and all their lies you dont even notice that any of this is happening. i thought that having to use vague phrasing and manipulate people was a completely normal thing that every community did because thats how they all treated it. you think that everything theyre saying is fine and normal and its actually the "antis" who are wrong and horrible, just listen to the 10 other people in the community, were happy so we must be right, right?

its a fucking cult. they manipulate you into joining by preying on those who are uneducated or traumatized or impressionable or otherwise vulnerable, they convince you that theyre the only right ones who know the "truth" and everyone else is wrong and "brainwashed", they shame and harass people who leave to make people too scared to get out. its entirely a cult and i hope that people are able to realize that and get the fuck out.

sweet jesus this is a long ask i can barely process it all

#anti radqueer

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glassedplanets · 1 year ago

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OKAY TATTOO AU BECAUSE NOW IM INVESTED, DAMN IT:

please tell me if ASL has some kind of matching something somewhere. tell me everything about ace, you know i love him. and law of course. is cora okay. where's doflamingo in all this.

OKAY THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG.

Ace Survives because we said so and this is for giggles and good feelings

he does extreme sports and jets around the world with yamato to Fuck Around And Find Out, stops by to visit luffy every so often

(this is how The Incident happens; he's in town for some kind of extreme sports Event and of course invites luffy, law's dragged along for the ride, it becomes so much more than anyone bargains for) (but this time the other straw hats are able to be there for luffy maybe only two hours late instead of two years)

but ASL do have a matching something!! it starts w/ luffy absently doodling something on his thigh with a pen one day, thinking about his childhood, and then he bolts into the shop (which is closed by this point), rings up his brothers to shoot the shit, and at one point one of them is like, hey, i hear your machine, thought you were closed? someone run late? but luffy's like :D nah i drew something that made me think of you both so i'm tattooing it on myself. (sabo: BRO WHAT. ace: YOOOO SICK AS HELL 🔥) this becomes a Repeat Process by way of asking sabo (and then ace) to tell him a story from their childhood and then luffy creates something out of that. they're all abstract and vague but very obviously echoes of the same shape in ways that reflect each of the three of them. they all cry during this process (but it's fine)

: ) law and cora.

(this is almost entirely giffy's work, hats off to them)

dofy has a bitcoin empire and is also the sleaziest nastiest dealer you have ever met

(in college he sold oregano to rich shitheads)

(kaido runs a food supplement pyramid scheme cult)

law's family is not around due to canon-adjacent events and he ends up at a group home that's actually like a wild tax write off kind of situation for the donquixote family

this is where cora meets him in kind of an advocate capacity? and sees law on the cusp of getting involved in shady shit, and law really doesn't care because he probably won't live

cora's response to this is well, let's work on getting you better and then you can decide whether life is worth living because i promise you it is

and it's a whole process! but law gets better and cora fights for law to get money from the amber lead settlement along with what his family had left him

i don't think we ended up working out how, exactly, cora dies, just that he does; cora leaves a ton of money to law because anything he can take out of dofy's hands is better than nothing, and god knows law deserves it

so law has, like, Schmoney. what he chooses to do with this Schmoney is open a third-wave coffee shop in a flagging part of town, hire all his friends, and square away his finances down to the penny so that everyone can live comfortably and his prices are low enough that anyone who passes by can reasonably get themselves something nice

this is a great plan until a guy walks in one day with his phone ringing and answers it with "fuck off, i am not lost"

(thousand sunny is directly across the street.)

law does not ever know a normal day in his life after this moment.

(luffy doesn't give law a tattoo over the heart because law isn't crew, per se, but one day law eventually tells luffy about cora, and luffy takes him all in, his tattoos, his whole Everything, and he gets that Luffy Air about him where he's an unstoppable force, and law ends up with a very small blink-and-you-miss-it heart behind one ear)

and what, pray tell, is the shop called?

#one piece tag #tattoo au tag #:)c #not art

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rawfrontierpredator · 1 month ago

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Things No One Tells You About Building a Crypto Exchange

So well,

Crypto exchange cannot be hard anymore why? Let share my experience

When I started building a crypto exchange, I thought the most difficult part would be the technology. Matching engines, charting systems, and crypto wallets are essential parts of a crypto exchange, and each one takes a lot of time and effort to build properly.

And yes, they take time, planning, and sharp execution.

But once the initial build was in progress, it became clear that the real work wasn’t just about writing code. It was about making decisions that balanced trust, performance, and user experience all at once. And that’s when the real work began.

If you're curious about what it takes to build a real crypto exchange, here’s what I’ve learned from actually doing it. No theory. Just honest lessons.

Building a Crypto Exchange- What You Need to Know

When I started working on a crypto exchange, I learned it’s not just about building something. It’s about thinking clearly, staying organized, and understanding what people really need. Here’s what I found out.

The Engine Is Just the Beginning

I first thought that building the trading engine was going to be the hardest part. Sure, it’s crucial to have an engine that can handle trades quickly and accurately. But once that was in place, it became clear that the rest of the platform was just as important, if not more.

Developing the order book, integrating trading pairs, and building a stable API for users and third-party tools are key steps. These parts help the platform operate in real time and ensure other services connect smoothly.

From the very start, I realized that building a platform people can depend on involves much more than technical development. It requires thoughtful design, proper structure, and a clear understanding of what users need.

Regulation Process

Most people think of regulations as something that holds them back. But for me, they ended up being a guide. Learning about the rules early on helped steer the development of the platform.

We focused on proper KYC and AML processes right from the beginning.

These checks are important not just for staying compliant, but for keeping users safe and managing risk. Users today expect to upload documents and verify their identity, and the system needs to handle that efficiently.

As I learned more, it became clear that understanding these rules early made building the platform easier. If you want to create an exchange, make sure you familiarize yourself with the regulations in the regions where you plan to operate.

Security Comes from More Than Just Technology

A lot of people think security is just about using the right tools or setting up cold crypto wallets. While those are important, I learned that real security starts behind the scenes. We implemented smart blockchain monitoring tools and made sure the entire team followed strict access controls.

These measures may not be visible to users, but they make a huge difference in how secure the system feels and operates. At every level, the team must focus on keeping everything secure, from how the code is written to how support tickets are handled.

Clear Design Helps Build Loyalty

It’s easy to focus on adding features or making the platform overly complex. But when it comes down to it, users want something simple and clear. They want to be able to log in, trade, and finish quickly.

We also used basic AI tools to guide users through some steps and help identify common errors or flag patterns. This gave us more insight into where people got stuck and allowed us to improve faster.

A clean, easy-to-navigate design keeps people coming back, while confusion can make them leave.

What Surprised Me the Most

When it came time to hand over the project, I decided to trust Hashcodex, a crypto exchange development company, to take it further. I gave them the entire project to develop from scratch.

From the beginning, they took full responsibility for the project. I shared the plan with them, and they improved it in ways I hadn’t thought of. They brought in their own expertise, asked relevant questions, and handled everything from fiat integration to dashboard flows.

What really impressed me was how well they understood the direction I wanted for the project. They didn’t just meet the requirements, they made the entire project better. The team at Hashcodex is excellent. If you're looking for a company to help build or improve your platform, I highly recommend them. They truly understand the work and are committed to delivering quality.

Conclusion

Building a crypto exchange is challenging, but it’s definitely possible if you take the right steps. It’s not just about technology; it’s about creating something people trust and enjoy using.

If you’re serious about launching your own platform or improving an existing one, I suggest you work with a team that knows crypto exchange development and cares about the details. Hashcodex is a great choice for anyone looking for a trusted partner in this field.

#cryptoexchange #cryptoexchangedevelopment

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lighthouse-enjoyers-anonymous · 2 years ago

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The CSH pipeline (aka my downfall)(aka my favorite band ever)

Last year around June, I listened to Car Seat Headrest for the first time, I think starting with Sober to Death. I had seen mention of the band before in memes about it being "incel" "male manipulator" music, but it was associated with a lot of bands I already had an interest in. My first instinct when seeing that something is being shit on is to go and consume the media so I can judge for myself whether it's actually that bad or if the fanbase is just being characterized by a couple shitty fans and if it's being meme-ified like Weezer. This has lead me down some questionable paths but I ultimately like this way of consuming media because I do end up finding new stuff I enjoy without being restricted to what's popular. I started listening to Mitski because I saw a tumblr post about how people don't like her work. Idk. Anyways I loved Sober to Death and started listening to their other top songs to get a feel for it. I think I mainly just listened to Twin Fantasy and Teens of Denial at first, then ToS and MBIKMB after a while. I wasn't hardcore into it and I knew barely anything about the band except I had picked up somewhere that Will was a furry (I have zero idea when I learned this but at the time I thought it was the most hilarious thing I've ever heard). I was just focused on my other interests much more (you know how it is). Fun fact, my ex included "It's Only Sex" on our relationship playlist when we dated in March, which

1- is an absolutely insane red flag 2- proves I knew about the band earlier than I remember Flash forward to February. I must have seen CSH mentioned a lot more on tiktok or pinterest or something, because I suddenly had a lot of interest in it. Sometimes I get waves of "oh god i'm a fake fan for not knowing everything about this subject" and that spurs some manic search to CONSUME ALL. I started listening to every album available on spotify, learned about Will's pre-CSH projects, and was instantly hooked.

This guy had written songs that spoke to me in a way only several other artists had in the past. On top of that, he had lived less than an hour away from me for the majority of my life (until he relocated to Seattle in 2014), AND most of his music was written at the age I am now. There was something so personal to me about it. Obviously, it was a popular-ish band so it wasn't really underground or anything, but it wasn't known by everyone so I still had the opportunity to introduce it to my friends for the first time. That being said, I still got teased a bit for listening to "sad gay furry music" :/ Touché.

Anyways, I then learned about 1 Trait Danger. Oh boy. I had heard the "Timmis" sound going around on tiktok without realizing it. God Andrew Katz is amazing too. It was silly, it was stupid, it had a new plotline to follow for each album, there was a discord server, there were costumes, there was Will Toledo, there was SO MUCH TO LEARN. So naturally I joined the Patreon so now I get some sick behind the scenes video game development content.

Deeper into the rabbithole comes Cate Wurtz's comics, which are mentioned in several CSH songs, and generally help to contextualize Will's work. Holy Shit I love Crow Cillers. I only started reading it yesterday. I have yet to fully understand what's going on because there is such a mash up of themes. It's entirely possible I made a mistake and managed to skip some crucial lore, but I'll figure it out eventually. Ynce Iche is badass. Other things that this hyperfixation has caused me to get into:

Radiohead and Weezer. more stereotypical incel music but I D K

Costume design? I'm in the process of building a trait mask, and I will make another post about this because I need help!!

animation, possibly. I'm hoping to animate parts, if not all, of 1 Trait Bangers. I have no prior experience with animating so this will be.... fun...

video production. I am ALSO in the process of creating a series of tiktok style videos to all of twin fantasy. if each one is about a minute, I should have... 71 videos. 1 down, 70 to go! This is cool because I got to visit the spot in Harper's Ferry mentioned in BL-I-D.

CSH livestreams. I looove the acoustic sound. Do miss the other band members though. Lots of his covers have lead me to find new music as well.

Will Toledo's tumblr. I scrolled all the way to the bottom of it and i'm attempting to compile a playlist of every song he mentions on there.

Will Toledo's spotify monthly playlists. That funky guy is listening to soooo much welsh folk. This raises questions about what the possible new album will sound like, but I'm down for anything!

Andrew Katz's instagram reels. I love these funky little videos it's like a vine revival with all of our favorite band members.

Will Toledo's high school bands/comics. The Mr. Yay Okay facebook page is so blessed I love seeing shitty home video recordings of them playing with a Ouija board.

New friends! Shout out to the cool people on the 1td discord server. game nights are always hilarious

Pop culture references. I have been convinced to buy several books simply bc they were mentioned in a song or his tumblr. also I started NGE and I will eventually get to Twin Peaks.

That's all for now! I should be able to update as I find more stuff to deep dive into, and as my creative projects unfold. It's going to be a busy couple of months in my house though, as I prepare for college. If I end up switching hyperfixations before I complete anything, I must apologize. But I don't owe "you" anything. I say to my singular follower, cheezbot. Hi cheezbot.

#car seat headrest #cshr #csh #will toledo #infodump #1 trait danger

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gateway-to-glimmer · 4 years ago

Text

A Guide to Dream Work

Dream States

Sleep states are fun to consciously control for various reasons. They can be used to view and analyze our memory and sense of self in an indirect way. The feelings and ideas produced by sleep feel profound and vivid, and can be used for creative inspiration.

The characters and places we encounter in our dreams are reflective of the things we have experienced and imagined. We have dedicated systems of memory for things like our stereotypes of people and places, as well as our relationship to our environment and to ourselves. When we are in a dream state, we see the boundaries between ideas contained within our memory distort and change, leading to the experience of a world created entirely from the contents of our knowledge and memory.

Sleep is essential for functioning. Contrary to what one would expect, the brain is active even during sleep. When we sleep, the brain goes through a process of regulating physical and mental functions. Sleep is essential for memory consolidation. It is difficult to retain and recall information that hasn’t yet been consolidated during sleep.

There are several distinct stages of sleep. Older psychological texts used to break these up into five stages of sleep. Today, most researchers divide the stages of sleep into four stages: NREM 1, NREM 2, NREM 3, and REM sleep. REM stands for rapid-eye movement. During REM sleep, the eyes move back and forth quickly, hence the name. NREM stands for non-rapid eye movement. In these stages of sleep, the eyes are still, unlike in REM sleep.

Staying lucid during the different stages of sleep is an interesting experience that many enjoy and find thought provoking. Each stage of sleep is experienced by the dreamer in a different way. Studies have been conducted on participants who were woken up during the different stages of sleep and asked what their dreams were like. People who were woken up during light sleep felt as though they had entered an immersive daydream but hadn’t quite fallen asleep. People woken up during deep sleep (NREM 3) reported feeling fully immersed in their mind, but that the dream felt more thought-like and involved mundane subjects, activities, and places. People who were woken up during REM sleep reported vivid, surreal, and fantastical dreams.

Different mystical traditions delineate between three distinct types of dream-work which map onto lucid dreaming during the three stages of sleep. Hedgecrossing occurs during NREM 1 and NREM 2 sleep. During this stage of sleep, if the dreamer is lucid, their thoughts become random, vivid, immersive, and contain spontaneous events that feel profound. Their thoughts feel out of their control. Spiritual traditions use this stage of sleep for the purpose of contacting spirits or interpreting some aspect of their lives.

Lucid dreaming during deep sleep is experienced as astral projection. Astral projection stereotypically involves the perception of leaving the body and walking into the world just outside of the self. Traditionally, the world becomes more random and mystical as the person moves further from their body, which maps onto the idea that the change in sleep states causes a subjectively perceived change in experience while lucid dreaming.

Lucid dreaming during REM sleep is what people traditionally think of when they think of lucid dreaming. REM sleep dreams depart from the normal laws of reality the most severely of all of the stages of sleep. Because of this, lucid dreaming can easily be used to generate creative ideas or to explore themes from one’s life through the vivid feelings produced by the dream. In addition, it is possible to attain some degree of psychological healing through dreams because of their connection to our memory, and because dream experiences feel vivid and thus their content and our reaction to them can significantly impact us even when we are awake.

I will describe how to attain each dream state in the next section. In a subsequent section, I will explain how spiritual practitioners approach dream work. I will then explain how to use dream experiences in a constructive way (such as through dream analysis, creative inspiration, and overcoming traumas and internal conflicts through dream role play) as an alternative psychological technique.

Hedgecrossing

Hedgecrossing refers to the state of mind that occurs when one is lucid during light sleep. This state of mind is useful for spiritual and psychological work. People who subscribe to a mystical belief system may use this state of mind to contact spirits or perform a ritual or detect something about the world. People who see these states of mind as psychological tools may use this state of mind to access parts of their memory - similar to using hypnotherapy techniques.

Procedure

The general procedure for hedgecrossing is to meditate in a comfortable position until the mind begins to enter a sleeping state. There are certain tells that the mind has entered such a state - the thoughts that automatically come to us become random, nonsensical. As with all dream-based work, it is important to try many times to attain and work with these states. It is very easy to fall asleep or to fail to enter into a dream state at all and this can be discouraging for many people. Hedgecrossing is the easiest lucid dream state to attain because it takes place in the first stage of sleep, so it is the first dream state entered. People don’t feel as though they have left their body but they do feel like their imagination has taken on a mind of its own and it can surprise them with moments of insight and inspiration.

We will be creating a specific mental place inside for each of the three lucid dream states. Eventually, our brains come to associate this internal mental space with the state of mind provoked by each type of dream state. Over time, as the association becomes stronger, this helps us enter into a particular dream state more easily.

Lay down in a comfortable place that you ordinarily sleep in. Practicing good sleep hygiene, especially the step where you only sleep in the room/area you sleep in so that your mind can associate that area with sleeping, can help. Beginning at a time where you are naturally tired and normally go to bed helps. This state is prompted by entering the first stages of sleep, light sleep.

Clear your mind as though you are meditating. Enter your mind’s eye and focus solely on the experience of being inside of your imagination. Ignore external thoughts and sensations as they come up, letting go of them and turning back inside. You are free to develop your own set of visualizations. The general framework for developing your own system of visualizations to distract you until you enter light sleep is, more or less, this: enter the first of your visualizations and ground yourself in your 5 senses; leave the area to a second room associated with hedgecrossing; leave to a third room where you engage in a repetitive (hypnotic) motion; then leave to a final room where you can walk endlessly until you enter a hedgecrossing state/light sleep state. I will give an example below.

Enter your mind’s eye at the foot of a blue cliff with the opening to a black cave. Feel the blue grass beneath your feet. Drink from a nearby pool of clear water above pastel blue sand. Look at the deep blue sky above and listen to the wind blow through the blue leaves coming off the black trees behind you, smelling the cool, chilly, evening air. Enter the cave.

Enter a black room with blue steps leading down. Blue stars line the walls of the cave, approximating the complexity of the universe. Look at them as you continue downwards. At the bottom of the stairs is a glowing blue number one on the walls instead of stars. This mental state, hedgecrossing, is associated with the star symbol as well as the color blue and the number 1. Giving specific symbols meaning like this helps make entering this state from this mental location easier in the future. There is a door with a large blue A glowing on it. Walk through the door, feeling the texture of the doorknob in your hand.

Enter a room with blue crystals and a pool of water with a waterfall. Watch the waterfall flow endlessly into the pool of water, feeling the cool water wash over your hands. Listen to the sound of the water flowing into the pool. Dive into the water.

After entering the water, enter a room without water. This area is a maze. Ankle deep water and blue crystals and stars line the walls. Walk through the cave, taking random turns, until the area begins to randomize and things begin to change outside of your control. You will have entered the state informally called hedgecrossing (lucid dreaming during light sleep) when the area and things inside of it are partially outside of your control.

Some people find it helpful to take a small amount of caffeine; others find this does not help at all. Stimulants can make it easier to maintain lucidity, but also harder to fall asleep. I have narcolepsy and I’m prescribed Ritalin and I accidentally lucid dream on it all of the time because of this.

Uses

Soul retrieval and hypnotherapy both force the practitioner into a trance that is similar to light sleep or near light sleep in order to enter into and manipulate the mind in a deeper way than is normally possible in a waking state. This allows us to cross mental barriers, such as the barriers that keep memories repressed, and view normally forbidden materials in our mind. This also means that, since our emotions are more vivid, the things that we think and the way we interact in our mind leaves a stronger impression than is normally possible during a waking state where our emotions are more repressed. The increased emotional vividness serves as a flag to our mind that what we are thinking is more important than normal.

The following techniques can be practiced in other sleep states, although the form they take may differ between stages of sleep. Because it is difficult to remember information between a waking and sleeping state, it is essential to keep a journal nearby in order to write down important thoughts. Get into a habit of writing about the contents of every lucid dream, regardless of which stage of sleep it occurred in, as soon as you wake up. Write down every regular dream, as well.

Symbols are important elements of our mind. Symbols serve as associative cues to different places in our memory. When we hedgecross, we enter into a state of mind where we are closer to our memory, almost living in it as we do when we are deeply sleeping. We can use symbols to interact with our mind. When we are hedgecrossing, we can call up a symbol. Say, the color red. We visualize this color, and because our thoughts have become more random, they will warp and respond to the introduction of this cue. We could randomly remember a memory connected to the color red. Or we could spontaneously imagine a character or the beginning of a story prompted by thinking about the color red.

We think about the world in certain ways that are connected to our different types of memories. We have special neurological processes dedicated to processing things like narratives, relationships, time, other people, cultural stereotypes, and places. These elements become easy to notice when we engage in dream work. We become immersed in the components of our memory, and the types of components we can think in become obvious quickly. Elements that frequently recur in dreams often have some significance, and it is worth it to interact with these symbols - doing so can reveal old memories and can allow us to interact with these ideas to inspire or change the self. This is the process of dream analysis. By interacting with these symbols, characters, and other ideas, we can see their meaning. Dream analysis books offer interpretations based on cultural symbolism. This is helpful to some extent, but personal symbolism is what matters the most, and it can be quite contextual and idiosyncratic. It is possible to interact with an idea or symbol in a dream and to talk to it, touch it, see what is inspired by interacting with it. The ideas that spring up from interacting with this element can be used to analyze its meaning.

Interacting with symbols in the mind can be used as a hypnotherapy tool. If someone has a troubling thought loop or memory, they can interact with it in a dream state to learn more about it and to gain mastery over the memory. However, it is possible to trigger nightmares in doing so. That is the risk of good dream work - there is some element of difficulty to it, and one must be willing to face and master difficult thoughts to proceed. This can be used to identify core thoughts and traumas and integrate with them in the course of dealing with difficult personal experiences and thoughts.

Astral Projection

Astral projection is the act of lucid dreaming during deep sleep. Qualitatively, this state feels more mundane than a traditional lucid dream, and it feels more thought-like. As we enter deep sleep, we finally feel ourselves leave our body. Paradoxically, we are actually entering our memory, completely cut off from the external world. For a moment, we haven’t yet forgotten the rules of external reality or the context we fell asleep in. Our short term memory takes a short amount of time to clear, and in that time when we first enter an astral state we experience ourselves as leaving our body where we left off before we forget where we were when we fell asleep as our previous circumstance is cleared from our short term memory. Some people feel vibrations; other people feel nothing at all as they transition from light sleep to deep sleep.

The general framework for astral projecting is as follows: lay down in a comfortable location; focus on staying awake as you slowly fall asleep. Eventually, you will become overwhelmingly tired that it is almost beyond your capability to hang on to your conscious awareness. Continue to stay focused and eventually, your body will feel strange in some way. Different people experience this change differently. It can be difficult to get up and to exit the body; no longer being able to move the body means you are in an astral state. Eventually, if you stay awake and keep trying to interact with the world, you will leave your body.

This is a good framework, although to properly associate this state of mind for your deliberate use later, I recommend a slight permutation to the classic technique. Before laying down to astral project, enter into your mind’s eye. See a green glowing 2 in the middle of a field of green roses. The sky above is filled with green petals. Turn around and see a door with the letter B glowing green. Reflect on your intention and enter the door; it should be dark. This signals to your mind that you are beginning to focus with the intention of astral projecting. Some people might want to stay immersed in the mind’s eye and imagine a green landscape beyond the door; a green hedge maze with infinite twists and turns, and green marble fountains and benches. You will completely enter your internal landscape when you fall into a deep sleep. This is similar to hedgecrossing, and it is easy to get stuck in a hedgecrossing state and it can be hard to transition to an astral state, although some do it this way. It is important to fall asleep in astral projection, whereas in hedgecrossing it is important to stay aware as you are near sleep. In an astral state, you completely lose touch with the external world and your internal world becomes your entire reality.

Uses

Astral projection is fun. The vivid emotions provoked by this state of mind can be entertaining. It is interesting to watch the changes in cognition that accompany the different stages of sleep. It is possible to use lucid dreaming states in order to solve or work on personal problems. As in hedgecrossing, analyzing and interacting with the content of dreams can be highly meaningful and symbolic.

Some people use dreams to help deal with psychological issues. Profound visions, such as religious experiences and positive dreams, can be used to help improve mood even if one isn’t spiritual. It is possible re-enact difficult memories or scary situations and to master them in dreams, which leads to one feeling more comfortable with that memory or situation in waking life.

Because of the way we think, we often encounter certain types of forms when we astral project. These forms reflect the way our brain encodes and interacts with the world around us in our memory. We have specific types of memory rather than just one unified type of memory; we have memories for knowledge, behaviors, habits, associations between ideas, and events. We also have further subdivisions in our memory for our perception of ourselves, others, places, cultural stereotypes, objects - and our relationships (which can take the form of opinions, a perception of personality, narrative plots, and themes) to these things. We can interact with these elements of our mind in a literal way in dream states and understand how our memory itself is structured.

People often encounter elements of our memory- and its ability to create novel versions of things it has introjected- in specific forms in our dreams. Some people refer to these constructs as deities or spirits, others see them as thoughtforms depending on if they subscribe to a spiritual belief system or not. We can perceive other people or ideals as characters that feel emotionally profound; we can perceive otherworldly places that feel as though they are beyond us. We can perceive the elements of our memory in a vivid way that is highly creative because of the memory shuffling that is occurring during memory consolidation which happens during sleep. I am convinced that dreaming is people watching the process of (some part of) memory consolidation in a literal way.

Lucid Dreaming

Lucid dreaming takes place during REM sleep. In a normal person who isn’t sleep deprived, REM sleep sets in after about 90 minutes. This makes entering a lucid dream through the traditional way of meditating through the previous sleep states difficult, although it is possible. Some people attempt to enter REM sleep directly by waking themselves up and then going back to bed again; because their mind is interrupted mid-sleep cycle, they may enter REM again quickly.

The best way to attain lucidity during REM sleep, in my opinion, is to engage in reality checks. Reality checks train us to check during dreams automatically to see if we are sleeping or not. We pick some detail about dreams that sets them apart from reality, and during the day we check several times to see whether or not we are sleeping. Eventually, this habit carries over into dreams and we naturally question whether or not we are dreaming - which prompts us to enter a lucid dream if we ask this question while we are dreaming.

Here are some examples of reality checks: dreams constantly change and shift, so if you look at something, look away, and then look back - if you are dreaming, it should have changed. If you aren’t dreaming, it will stay constant. In dreams, you can manipulate things with your mind; try changing some element of the scenery as you would in a dream, or try to fly. Trying to do these mental exercises from a waking state feels silly and doesn’t work, but in a dream it can trigger you to realize you are dreaming if you check to see if you can do these things and you can. Regularly check to see if you are dreaming during the day, and check for these properties found only in dreams. Eventually, you will ask the question during a dream and will become lucid.

Intentions are helpful for the attainment of lucid dreaming. Before bed, enter into your mind’s eye and find yourself on a red beach with a large red 3. A door with a glowing red C awaits you. Enter it, holding your intention to lucid dream that night as you allow yourself to fall asleep. When you attain lucidity, think back on the red C and the red 3. This will associate these concepts with sleep. You can think on these red concepts in order to help with dream recall. These is called an anchor. Anchors can be used to help keep you present during the dream and remind you that you are lucid. Regularly think back on the red room with the C; create a glowing C or 3 in your hand. The action of doing this grounds you in your dream and prevents you from losing your lucidity or from waking up.

Additionally, you can check your dream journal for patterns you are encountering during your natural dreams. These should be your REM sleep dreams as these are the easiest to recall if you weren’t lucid during them. Recognizing common types of dreams and dream locations can help you recognize that you are dreaming.

Uses

Lucid dreaming is fun. REM sleep dreams are vivid and highly creative. Lucid dream states can be used to flesh out story ideas or to obtain inspiration. The emotional vividness and the surreal ideas encountered in this state of mind are ideal for creative inspiration, like to get inspiration for an otherworldly landscape to draw or for a fictional place or character for a story.

If you are going to use a lucid dream state for some purpose, set your intention ahead of time. It can be fun to explore dreams without an intention, but for goal directed purposes it is important to set your intention or else you will forget while you are maintaining your hold on your lucidity. Do you want to work on a story idea? Okay. Do you want to focus on the plot, the setting, the theme, or the characters?

You can focus on one element of your story that you want to flesh out, or several. You can focus on them one at a time, or all at once. It is difficult to hold many ideas in mind at once. Reminding yourself of your story world, or the characters, or a scene will cause it to manifest in your dream. Because dreams constantly shift and evolve, it will immediately come to life and go in a direction you barely control. This can be used for creative inspiration. That is how one uses dreams - anything that manifests in the dreams suddenly comes to life and takes on a mind of its own during a dream state. Interacting with it intensifies this effect, leading to interesting ideas and feelings.

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im-the-punk-who · 5 years ago

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Hi! I’m new to the fandom and I’m simply curious (not trying to start a feud or anything), why don’t you like Steinberg?

Hello dear anon! And welcome to the fandom!

Oof. That’s a question. xD

I’m going to try and stay as uh. neutral as possible. Because I’ve already written the post I know I failed but, the intent in answering this is also not to start a feud or hurt anyone’s feelings.

Okay, so I got fairly negative in this chilis tonight, so I want to start by saying that even in light of the opinions I’m about to express, Black Sails is one of, if not my number one, favorite TV shows of all time. Certainly in recent memory - I’ve been hyperfixating on this show for 18 months with no sign of stopping, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for everyone who worked on the show - even Steinberg. (The one exclusion is Michael Bay, he can go twist.)

AND I think Stienberg is an incredibly talented writer. Black Sails is one of my favorite shows because it does such a wonderful job of weaving stories, creating characters, and melding things in a way that is both unexpected and makes sense narratively. I have changed as a person because of the show, and they will have to pry James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton from my cold dead knives-attached-to-them hands. None of what I’m going to say is meant to detract from that.

I will also say that a lot of these issues are not particular to Steinberg and are in fact a systemic problem with American TV + Film. And I’m not leaving Robert Levine out of my criticism, it’s just that Steinberg had the biggest hand in the pot(he wrote a full half the episodes) and a lot of what I’ve heard as far as talking about the show comes from Steinberg. So, he gets the brunt. But it isn’t that I think Steinberg was the only problematic element of the show.

Also, these are all my opinions and are colored by how I interact with my fandoms. I am not only a fandom veteran, but I work and pretty much live in the entertainment industry. I work in indie film and theatre and am surrounded by artists and creators of all walks of life, like, constantly. I know what is possible, and when I see something that can be improved, I want to note it because it is important to me to always be striving forward. Like Miranda says about Thomas, this isn’t out of malice, or out of hate. It’s because I genuinely love this show, and I love entertainment as a whole, and I think in order to get to a better, more inclusive industry we have to have hard conversations and look critically at the media we consume, and it is frustrating to me to time and again see the same faces in the room.

But if that isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine! Fandom isn’t meant to be stressful and if all you want to do is watch a show about gay pirates that is your tomato and I applaud you. Have at it you funky motherfucker.

OH! One more. At some point I’m going to talk about Silverflint. When I do, it is NOT meant as a ‘you shouldn’t/cant ship this’ or ‘this pairing is bad’ or any negative attack on the people who ship that pairing. My criticisms in this post are exclusively about what it means for Steinberg as a writer and Black Sails’ representation of gay and mlm men. While it’s not my cuppa, this is a sail your own ship blog.

OKAY! SO!

My main criticisms of Steinberg & Co boil down to:

The homozygosity of the writers and directors shows a complete lack of desire to include marginalized people in the writing of a show that is about them. Which leads to:

The centering of white men while choosing a historical setting and time period that was in fact dominated by people of color and specifically a black woman,

The gratuitous inclusion of violence against women, particularly sexual violence, and again, that the female characters are often sidelined for the central male characters.

SO.

Black Sails is a show centered around queer, female, and black leads, and yet there were only two non white-male directors (one bi-racial man and one white woman) and only 7 female writers - one of whom was Latina. The entire rest of the major creative staff was white men. I’m not going to comment on sexualities but none of the writers or directors are out as queer according to a quick google search.

Let me reiterate the important bit there.

In Black Sails, where the last two seasons specifically feature around a real, actually-happened-in-history event that shaped black history in the Caribbean, there was not a single black writer on the entire show.

This is the main difference between inclusion for inclusion’s sake, and actually centering marginalized voices. Black Sails has a ton of gay, POC, and female rep in front of the camera but practically zero representation behind it, which leads to storylines and implications that Steinberg and his writers, as white men, simply would never realize.

It’s like why Silver and Miranda never realized the true reasons James was waging war on England. They just did not have the life experiences to realize they were missing a piece of the puzzle, and so they filled in their own without even realizing they’d done so.

Because no one in the room of Black Sails was a part of these marginalized identities, nuances get lost or mistranslated, motivations get muddled through a white man’s gaze(or a straight person’s) and implications that someone within those communities might think is obvious won’t even come up.

And again, because there were no writers or directors of color in the last two seasons (the biracial man directed episodes 2x02 and 2x04 - WHICH MAKES SENSE IMO) the entirety of the historical lore that the show bases itself on in its latter half is filtered through a white man’s lens. And so there is no discussion of how changing something changes the meaning, how leaving someone out or changing their role to be more minor might affect people for whom that is their heritage. How the entire story they’re telling might change with one simple exclusion or addition.

So, how does this relate directly to Steinberg, you ask? Well, simply, because it was his show.

Steinberg(and Levine) were involved in every major decision about the show, from its conception, to the script, to choosing the writers and directors. They chose how they wanted the show to look, to think, what stories to tell and how they wanted to tell them. Their decisions(and the biases that formed those decisions) are woven into the show.

And look. I don’t for a second believe any of this was willful or malicious. I don’t think that John Steinberg and Robert Levine sat down one day and said ‘you know what would make the gays really angry? If we locked the only two canonically gay men up in a prison camp.’

But the decisions that were made in the show were based in ignorance in a way that shows more than just simple negligence or laziness(especially given the attention to detail in everything else). The things they leave out or change in the Maroon War plotline for instance are not small details easily missed. They are big, giant waving flags. They are things that are irreplaceable to still have the same events and stories and tell them respectfully.

It shows an insane amount of privilege to, for instance, write a show airing during a time when the Black Lives Matter movement was at the forefront of the American conscience, include black characters and black storylines, and yet not include a single black voice on their creative team.

In a show that centers a gay man’s love and his journey in attempting to process the horrible things done to him and his lover because of it, we are given just forty minutes of the entire show dedicated to their relationship - and just fifteen of those minutes actually feature the lover!

(Relatedly, the entirety of the gay romantic rep is two kisses, and a forehead touch. That’s the entirety of your gay intimacy representation. And yet there are in the first two seasons alone - because that’s all I’ve clocked so far - something like twenty seven minutes of scenes involving a naked or half naked woman. Five minutes of that is explicitly wlw sex.

Again, I just want to reiterate this because it’s important in recognizing bias.

There is fully twice as much female nudity in the first two seasons, as the entirety of the time the two gay characters have together on screen. )

Steinberg is a perfect example of how a lack of understanding why the diversity you are representing is important, matters. I dislike Steinberg because he, just like every other straight white cis man I have known, profited off of marginalized voices without including them or creating with them in mind.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. You cannot create something - especially something as back breakingly, intensely a labor of love as Black Sails - without putting several pieces of yourself into it. But those pieces color your narrative. They will expose things about you that you don’t even realize. And it’s in these places we are weakest, and why a diverse group of writers with a diverse group of experiences can help a piece be stronger. But for whatever reason, John Steinberg thought that he could make art with only people who looked and thought and experienced like him.

The lack of representation behind the camera in Black Sails was evident in front of it and yet Steinberg is out here getting to pretend like he created the most inclusive groundbreaking show that ever existed. It is important to me, personally, to acknowledge that. And that it kind of makes my skin crawl in the way all media made by straight white (cis)men makes my skin crawl. I wish I didn’t have to feel that way about my favorite tv show just because it was created by a man of privilege, but here we are.

SO. I hope that helped? Feel free to take what you want and leave what you don’t!

Below the cut is a more in depth look at things that I think show what I’m talking about, but that up there ^^ is the gist. <3 |D

SURPRISE!

The Maroons and the Maroon War

So the first thing I want to point out is that the Maroon War was a real thing that happened. It lasted ten years, and resulted in the most substantial victory the Maroons ever achieved against the British. Not only that, there was in fact a KICKIN’ badass female leader of the maroons named Queen Nanny, who is to this day honored as a national hero in Jamaica. While they weren’t able to drive the British out, the outcome of this war led to a mostly self-governing Maroon population in Jamaica from the mid 1700s on. This was a long term fight that had a very tangible and real outcome, even if it didn’t end in the destruction of colonialism.

And what is this war turned into in Black Sails? A white ‘madman’s revenge’ that is doomed to failure after six months.

That, my dear pirates, is a problem for me. (And those familiar with my brand of spiceyness know that I do not ascribe to the ‘Flint is a Madman’ trope, but that IS what Steinberg ascribes to, what he seems to have written the show thinking.)

There was no narrative reason to include the Maroon War in the narrative of Black Sails. The Maroon War didn’t happen until a decade after the Golden Age of Piracy, and aside from Silver’s wife being a black woman there is no mention of Silver ever having contact with them. To me, this feels like the choice of a showrunner who found a cool historical event and saw a chance to up the stakes of their white male heroes while getting in some sweet sweet POC rep.

Except that they then took the major events of the Maroon War and gave them to their white characters, Flint and Silver.

Here’s the thing. If you’re going to take a piece of culturally important history and use it for your show, you NEED to have sensitivity writers. You need to have people who are at least familiar with those events and who care about them to do them justice. Have an expert come in and read your script or go over your ideas. Or just like. Hire a black writer. Hire ONE black writer. As a treat.

The important Maroon figures, Nanny, Cudjoe, and Quao, all get sidelined or ‘sexified’ and then used as plot points for the white characters. Nanny gets split into two women - the older mother queen and Madi, the young naive warbent visionary. Quao(Mr. Scott is the closest, or Kofi possibly) gets killed off because the writers realized they didn’t exactly have a place for him in their writing. Cudjoe(Julius) gets a few scenes and one good speech but his entire role in the war gets given to Silver. And THEN. That sexy Queen Madi figure gets used as emotional bait for Silver and then has to learn he has betrayed her and destroyed the hope and freedom she had wanted to bring to her people.

Gross, pirates. Gross.

Anne Bonny/Max/Mary Read - a heads up, this section includes a semi in-depth discussion of both Max and Anne’s sexual assaults. If that bothers you, the paragraphs talking about that begin with a ***

COOL NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT LESBIANS. Words my 20 year old self would never have imagined coming out of my mouth.

Specifically, I want to talk about Max, and Anne, and their backstories both involving extreme sexual trauma at the hands of men. And then Mary Read and the once again sexification of female characters.

(Actually while I’m here another criticism I have of Steinberg is that his writing does not seem to recognize how queer people existed in the past - again, likely because he didn’t have any gay historians to be like ‘actually buddy that doesn’t make sense also why is Anne not dressing as a man? If you want to fuck with anything and insert modern day terminology and ideas into this show, make her non binary and REALLY piss off the hetties.’)

(This same ficitonal gay dramaturg who is definitely not me has also questioned John Steinberg repeatedly about where Mary Read is, unsatisfied with the answer ‘well we wanted her to be hot so we made her a sex worker and then had Anne have to rescue her but then we realized it would be weird not to include her actual character so we gave her a five second cameo at the very end of the series and also made her like 13.’)

Anyway! So my main point in bringing up Anne and Max is the sexual trauma they are exposed to in the show, particularly being that they are the two primary wlw in the show, who Steinberg has said he views as being completely gay, and what THAT whole unexamined idea looks like.

***Max. My dear Max. There was literally no reason to have her be repeatedly r*ped(and for the love of god there was even less reason to make it that gratuitous and graphic). Max being assaulted like that did not add anything to the gravity of Eleanor’s betrayal. The traumatic event was being tossed aside by Eleanor, and that could have been just as emotionally damaging without the sexual assault. And the only reason for her to be continually assaulted was to bring her and Anne together.

***The reason imo that Max’s r*pe plot was added was because it was the only thing these white straight men could come up with that felt emotionally damaging enough to them. The act of betrayal itself wasn’t enough, the act of being thrown away, of having a lover put your life in danger because of her own ambitions wasn’t enough, they needed her to be r*ped to really drive home the point.

***Anne, on the other hand, is never shown being sexually abused, but we are given an explicit account of her own traumatic history and how Jack saved her from this vile beast who was passing her around to his friends.

But here’s the thing pirates - that never happened. According to every account we have of Anne Bonny, she chose her husband, and married him against her father’s wishes. They were probably relatively happy until her husband started being a pirate spy and Anne started cheating on him with Jack.

And yes, when they were found out. Her husband had her beat. That’s not fucking cool, and if they really wanted to go the damsel in distress route they still could have had Jack ‘save’ her from that. But at no point was she sexually abused by her husband(at least not in any accounts I’ve read.)

You know who did likely sexually abuse her or at least manipulate her and Mary for his own benefit? If you guessed our Rat man Jack Rackham, you would be correct, because when he found out about Mary and Anne’s (supposed, but probably real) relationship, it’s implied he extorted both of them into fucking him to keep their secret from the crew.

The addition of sexual abuse to Anne’s past isn’t done to be true to her character and was in fact explicitly untrue. Now of course I don’t know the reasons why they chose to do this, but I can guess. Just as with Max, the most traumatic thing a male writer can think of for a female character is for them to be sexually abused.

And the most disturbing part of this to me? The parallels it has to the real world of why straight men think lesbians exist. These characters who would be called man haters in present day are given these incredibly traumatic man-centered histories. It brings up something very uncomfortable in me about particularly wlw sexuality being viewed as a reaction to trauma at the hands of men. It’s just gross, I dont like it, and honestly there is no fucking excuse for it besides a room full of white straight men writing this bullshit. A room that Steinberg chose, because they fit his ideas.

In Fact heck, the women of Black Sails in general

***I honestly struggle to think of a single female character who I think was treated fairly in Black Sails. Miranda and Eleanor are killed for taking sides and not understanding their partners, Madi is betrayed in the worst way possible, Max is given a pseudo empowering ending but has that fucking terrible start. Idelle ends off fairly well, but tied to a man she may or may not have any actual feelings for, in what is essentially a political marriage. And Anne has her entire identity tied to a man who will be dead in two years as she is robbed of any agency whatsoever without him. (Oh, and the whole r*pe thing. And also her support for Max’s r*pe or death until she started having fee-fees. Who wrote this stuff. >_>)

Even though the characterization of each and every one of these women is PHENOMENAL - and again I will repeat that I absolutely LOVE these characters as they exist in a vacuum. I think they are well rounded, real, feeling people given motivations and drives and FEELINGS and they SHOW THEIR ANGER and i LOVE THEM.

But the show punishes them for it. Miranda is essentially fridged to move Flint’s storyline along, and to make room for Silver. Eleanor is killed for the emotional damage it will cause Rogers. Madi is placed at the center of a conflict she explicitly says she is willing to die for and then not only is her entire cause taken from her, but when she tells Silver to fuck off he - in possibly the most predictable white man move ever - says ‘no i will stay until you change your mind. I will never leave you. I don’t care about your choice in this matter, I will wait forever for you. I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me. papa, - paparazzi.’

And I touched on this before, but I want to talk in more detail about what is possibly my hottest take to date, the sexification of Mary Read and Queen Nanny, as they are presented in the show.

Max is to Anne what Mary Read is, historically. She is the lover that Jack Rackham discovers with Anne, and then he joins them in their bed. They form a triumvirate that upholds Jack at the expense of the women. But for some reason, Steinberg didn’t want to just include Mary Read as an actual character. For some reason he needed to make Anne’s love interest a sex worker who was in need of saving (and who, coincidentally, we never see working the brothel after she becomes lovers with Anne, because she is now a madam. :) Gross.)

And Madi. My dear sweet fucking Madi who didn’t fucking deserve any of this bullshit send tweet.

So, historically, Queen Nanny was the Queen, spiritual advisor, and the military tactician of the Windward Maroons. She would have filled both Madi and the Queen’s character roles(and Flint’s, but who’s counting. A BLACK GAY LEAD? Inconceivable. I digress.) But, I guess, because they were wishy-washing with Silver’s sexuality or felt they needed to give him a female love interest because of Treasure Island, or because they were leaning a bit too hard into the gay shit and needed to backpedal, they took Queen Nanny and split her into a character who is for all intents and purposes powerless in the war and Madi, who is young and naive and does not have any real world experience outside of the Maroon camp.

Because that’s sexy, or something. They could have had the Maroon Queen be a fucking badass lady who works and fights alongside Flint and Silver and one ups them and teaches them shit and has her own ideas about where the British can stick it, but instead they made her into the perfect caricature of a female monarch, letting the big strong men handle the dirty work or something. Because white male power fantasies.

Just let women be powerful and not nubile and let them have character arcs over fucking thirty and let them be CENTERED in their own. fucking. narratives.

God damnit Steinberg.

James Flint, mlm extraordinaire

Oh, my love. My most amazing child. The light of my life. My purest cinnamon roll.

~~And now we’ve come to the dreaded Silverflint criticism part of our programming. Please please know and remember this isn’t a criticism of people who ship Silverflint. As I said up top, Your Tomato Is Not My Tomato and that’s cool. Please don’t take this next part as an attack on Silverflint as a fandom ship.~~

My criticism of Steinberg as it relates to Flint is related to:

What a romantic/sexual relationship with Silver being the basis of the tension and plot means for Flint in particular as a gay or mostly mlm man.

Refusing to confirm Thomas and James being alive at the end and honestly the whole finale in general but like I’ll try and focus.

The major problem I have with Silver and Flint being coded as in love with each other is the implications there in terms of gay men’s relationships to other men.

From every corner, men are inundated with the idea that any close relationship between them must be gay. That intimacy cannot exist unless there are sexual feelings involved. That a relationship cannot be close, deep and soul shattering and life altering, unless one guy secretly(or not so secretly) wants to bone the other dude. That two men cannot value each other as partners or friends or truly know each other unless they are gay.

Seeing both of the meaningful relationships Flint forms with other men be sexually coded feels a bit the same way as Anne and Max’s sexual assault plotlines does vis-a-vis being wlw. (Even with Gates, Flint never spoke about Thomas or his plans - Silver is absolutely the closest person to Flint besides Thomas and Miranda.) And this is just as true for Silver. Having both Flint and Madi - the two people he trusts - both be people he’s in love with also just feels. I don’t know.

It feels like a confusion between male intimacy and male love that is so so familiar to me as a gay man I could choke on it. Where they wanted these men to have a deep and really lasting connection, but could only figure out how to do it if they were in love. Friendship wouldn’t have been enough - only romantic and sexual love is enough for the gay man(or men, at all).

Just because it isn’t queerbaiting doesn’t mean it’s good rep, and I would have liked to see truly deep male friendships that did not center on sexual attraction - particularly for Flint as a confirmed mlm(and Silver too, if you’re counting him. The same arguments for why I dislike Flint being paired with Silver are also true in the reverse.)

Even if both Flint and Silver were confirmed mlm I still would have LOVED to see a platonic relationship between them. In fact I would have loved that EVEN MORE. Men! Who fuck men! Not needing to fuck each other to be important to one another! Who made this. Very delicious.

But because there weren’t any queer writers on the show, writers who understand this kind of struggle that gay and mlm men face, they thought ‘oh, let’s also have them be in love with each other. More gay rep is better gay rep, right?’ False. THOUGHTFUL gay rep is better gay rep.

Okay and here’s my last thing. The fact that Steinberg refuses to say whether or not the explicitly mlm men are alive at the end of the show - that the words he specifically uses are ‘up for interpretation’ is. Fuck, it’s gross, okay? It’s fucking gross.

I have been around enough men, enough people in power, enough people with leverage who also know how to play the field, to know that when someone wants a group’s support but does not agree with them, their go to phrasing is that it is ‘up for debate’ or ‘up for interpretation.’

Say the gays are alive. Steinberg refusing to acknowledge the reality of the ending of his show to maintain his own sense of artistic integrity is what, honestly, really sets me off about him and I don’t care if this is a nuanced take.

Like yes, death of the author. I honestly don’t care if he thinks they’re dead or alive. What I care about is that he thinks he can get away with being clever and leaning hard into a story is true/untrue’ - doesn’t realize what the implications of that are, and didn’t when he was writing, and didn’t have anyone else in the room who would think about it either.

ANYWAY. So this is....my long drawn out explanation for why I do not like Steinberg. Uhhhhh tune in next week for more of my totally unpopular opinions!

#good....fucking lord #i am so sorry #how many opinions can milo fit in one post #i mean i have more but yknow lmao #black sails #behind the black sails #milos black sails meta #long posts #my increasingly devoted attempts to find tumblrs word limit #Anonymous #john steinberg #js critical but the js is jon steinberg

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dragonrajafanfiction · 4 years ago

Text

Tokyo Tower (Part 5) Butterfly Effect

Please enjoy this! :D I’ve changed a lot about this scene to cut out the irrelevant and pointless parts and keep it focused on the MC and the characters we want to see! @rurifangirl by request

“You think I would use the perfect evolutionary medicine on my own daughter and use her to create the perfect dragon race?"

"The so-called perfect evolution is the ultimate evolution that can maintain divine wisdom. Even if she evolves into a dragon, she is still your daughter. With her obedience to you, she can destroy the world for you, which is the reason you have been raising her so far."

“And if you get God's fetal blood, you'll use it on yourself?"

"It seems that only using it on myself is the safest way. I wanted to try it on Chime as well, but that boy is too hard to control, a viper's heart hidden under a feminine appearance!"

You speak the words but your playful manner has gone and been replaced with a numb realization that so long as Herzog was alive, you’d never find peace. You had a sisterhood and love with Renata but she was shot in front of you. You had just found love again before Herzog had Chance assassinated. And now that you had finally taken solace in a man like Ruri Kazama and bonded as a sister again with Erii, here he was threatening them both.

It would never end. Next would be Caesar, Chu Zihang, Lu Mingfei and then, once he was finished with you, you would be next. The man was a bottomless pit. He had no attachments, no empathy. Nor could he have them even if he wanted to. He’s whole life’s view was eat-or-be-eaten. There was no such thing as balance, no such thing as co-existence.

What he liked to call evolution was nothing but eternal slaughter, breathtaking in its scope. It was hard to believe someone like him could exist. You were horrified and amazed. While you have made decisions to kill others before, for the first time, you’re confronted with someone who had to die in the most absolute of terms.

You speak up again after listening for a bit. “Herzog and Erii were both exposed to dragon blood and started to turn into dragons, but were unable to complete the process. He says they were semi-evolved. Half-evolved. Bondarev has the raw materials Herzog needs, and Herzog has the methods and research to create the evolution medicine. They have agreed to work together.”

You didn’t believe they would really work together. At the first opportunity they would fight to the death. There was very little difference between these two men and the deadpool sphinxes in the mural hall of Genji Heavy Industries. Cannibals.

"Damn it! How did the Tortoise get here?" Caesar suddenly snarled.

"Brother!"

Caesar and Ruri Kazama spoke almost simultaneously, both in horror, but the messages conveyed in their tones of voice were completely different. Ruri’s uncontrolled dismay showed that Chisei was still special to him as his brother. Caesar was more concerned about the success of the mission.

“We haven’t had time to blockade Tokyo Tower yet! Tachibana Masamune might still escape!” Caesar shouted.

"Quick! Seal the elevator and the iron ladder! Brother may not have a chance to win against the King General! He will underestimate him!" Ruri Kazama said urgently.

While Caesar was concerned about Tachibana escaping, Ruri Kazama wanted to keep Chisei out of the clutches of Herzog.

"Calling Ruri! Calling Ruri! Change of plan! We're going up the tower now to intercept the King General, you stand by for a kill!" Caesar called loudly.

There was only rustling background noise in your headset. Ruri Kazama's voice disappeared. Caesar switched between different channels, and there was no answer from Ruri Kazama in each channel.

Ruri Kazama might have turned off the communication device or discarded it, in any case, he was detached from the communication network.

“I knew we couldn’t count on that guy!” Caesar yelled in annoyance.

Just like that, the entire operation was in disarray. You didn’t know what happened to him. Maybe an assassin had found him. Maybe Ruri was already dead! “Wait! He said we should stop Chisei!”

Caesar’s voice brooked no arguments. “Ruri Kazama withdrew from the mission. It’s up to us, the commissioners of the Cassel Academy, to carry out the mission of the Secret Party. Since both the King General and Tachibana Masamune have personally admitted to wanting to resurrect the White King, then they have already committed the felony of being enemies of the entire human race and have to be wiped out right now! MC! Lu Mingfei! Prepare your rifles!”

You hesitate. Ruri Kazama specifically told you that not even Chisei Gen was certain to be able to kill the King General. While Caesar was strong and clever and resourceful, he couldn’t rival Chisei's pure brute force. You look down at your sniper rifle in dismay. You heard the King General say that he was a semi-evolved dragon. This rifle was absolutely useless! You throw it down and turn and run.

Mingfei turned his head. “MC! What are you doing!”

The fastest way down the building was the stairwell and you leap down flights at a time. You feel like you were too slow no matter how fast you run! You burst out of the ground floor exit door and streak across the Tokyo Tower’s main plaza. You don’t see Chisei anywhere but you urge yourself to go faster! Lighting flashes and illuminates the black veins on your wrist and black veins peeking out from the collar of your shirt. They pulse like tentacles. You’re running unnaturally fast, fast like a demon, like a werewolf, pushed by the superhuman force of your dragon blood. You didn't need to use blood rage this time. Your condition really was deteriorating, bit by bit. Now Blood Rage was only a thought away.

You reach the stairs faster than any sprinter and start to climb up as fast as you can!

Then you hear footsteps behind you. You whirl to confront who was following.

In the dark and the wind and the rain, you were once again facing Chisei Gen.

Chisei Gen came stepping through the storm, his windbreaker flying like a battle flag in the gale. He was looking up high into the sky, his pupils flowing with the color of molten iron. There is no need for him to sneak. He is an emperor, the absolute emperor. Any opposition he faced he would simply crush with absolute violence.

So you shrink and make yourself as small as possible. “I can’t fight you. I can only tell you that you’re making a mistake! Don’t go up there!”

“What are you doing here?” The sword Onimaru glittered like pure ice in the rain.

“We received intelligence on this meeting from your brother. Caesar and Chu Zihang are also on the way to kill Herz… I mean, the King General and Tachibana for crimes against the Secret party. The King General is a half dragon. Chime didn’t believe you could defeat him and wanted us to stop you from going up.”

At the mention of the name ‘Chime’, Chisei’s eyes burned bright in the dark and the pupils narrowed to needles! He moved like the wind, crushing you against the iron stairs. The metal risers slam into your back leaving deep bruises. Pain explodes in your legs and you realize that he’s broken them. You scream and seize his hair, the only way you feel you can detain him. He’s amber reptilian eyes burn into yours. He snarls low. “I’ll interrogate you later.”

“Fine.” You sob, shaking, pale, and sweaty with pain. You release him. “Go die. Chime is the only one who cares about you anyway.”

Chisei’s eyes widen and then suddenly distance and dim and, for a moment, they revert back to their dark natural color. He looked so much like his brother in this state -- soft, sad, lonely. Those eyes were full of pain and regret. The rain ran in rivers down his face like tears. So little got to him, but those words did.

He straightened up over you and rushed off, flying up the stairs like an eagle, leaving you on the stairs in a curtain of rain. Your legs hurt so bad you want to swoon and every time you look down the world spins and you want to throw up.

“So… how’s it going?”

“How did I know you were going to show up?”

Z sits on the stairs and sighs deeply, holding an umbrella over your head. “Because I’m always by your side. Unlike some people.” He moves his hand to rest it on your hair and then retracts it. “I really do support you. You’re important. And I would rather things have gone my way with our relationship. But, like I said, I can’t make you do something like that. Like the genie in Aladdin. I can’t make you love me.” He chuckled. “But… like the genie, I can fix your legs. And I’ll do that.”

“Why… would you help me? I’m so confused.” You lift your head from the cold metal step. He was still in his fashionable suit and leather shoes.

“I didn’t tell you much when I was courting you, you think I’m going to tell you things now?” He laughed. “You’re doing amazing things. At least, I think you are. Hard to tell.” He turned to look at you with his golden eyes, then his eyes lift up to the stairs where Chisei disappeared. “It’s like the butterfly effect. Tiny little changes that don’t seem to matter have a cumulative effect. Now I’m curious. Hm…” He laughed, musing to himself. “Anyway. Your ride will take a few minutes to get here. In the meantime, I have to let you stay wounded so you don’t wander off and die prematurely. When it’s time to go. You’ll know.” Z stood up and walked away, stepping off the staircase and walking through the rain with nothing but open air beneath him until he vanished out of sight.

You lay on the steps, taking one breath at a time. It was hard not to moan but surely no one heard you over the torrential rain. Your mind drifted to Caesar Gattuso who would probably kill you even if you survived this. Or at least fiercely scold you. He would ask you what you were thinking, running off and confronting a furious Chisei Gen alone. You should have known he’d crumple you like paper. Caesar’s supposed to be the only one with the harebrained ideas.

You wondered what you were thinking. And you recall Ruri Kazama’s desperate words.

Brother!

It wasn’t just any exclamation. Chime was terrified of losing Chisei. His twin brother.

You hear a sudden loud bang, like there was a car collision right above you. As you look, a dark shape looms towards you. You feel a sudden jolt of fear! Metal bits and shredded dark pieces of cloth are raining all around your head and you hear the rattle of machine gun fire from the stairs!

“Ouch! … oh… Ow! Ow!”

A man-shaped thing was moaning while dangling by a rope between the shadowy metal struts of Tokyo tower. You recognized the voice. “Fingel?”

He sighed, whimpering. He was spinning while holding on to a thick rope. “Oh hey girly. Fancy meeting you here.”

“What happened?”

“Uh… the King had an escape plan. A big ol’ metal blimp! Bigger than mine! Haha!” He flinched. “Ow.”

You push yourself upright and suddenly realize that your pain is gone! You look down at your legs.

They were fine.

At that moment, far more ferocious weapons than assault pistols boomed on the far roof of the building. It was Mingfei!

“The King’s escaping?” You grip the hand rail and pull yourself up. Your legs are wobbly, like you’d been sitting for hours, but they didn’t hurt.

“Yeah… I’m… I’m done here.” Fingel wearily groaned. “I want ramen… and more of that miso soup. I think I’m going to get out of the way. Good luck!” Fingel suddenly started sliding down the rope.

“Hey get back here! I don’t… I don’t have any weapons!” You lean against the hand rail to look down but he is already gone. You grumble to yourself. “Dog with no morality.”

“You can always join meeeee….” Fingel shouted from below.

He was right. You could go home right now. But Ruri was still out there. He might need your help. And… your legs were fine. You sigh deeply.

Chisei was an idiot. He didn’t listen. He never listened. He had a set path, a script to follow and he was following it without delay.

But Chime loved him.

You push away from the railing and turn away from Fingel and dash up the stairs. You climb on healed legs until you reach the top of the stairs. The outer observation deck was completely covered in broken glass. Every window had been blown out. Chisei Gen was standing on the observation deck with submachine guns but he didn’t even notice you. He was staring into the distance and you follow his gaze.

The King General’s blimp was still aloft, but it was disabled. The man was hanging on by a ladder and buffeted like a limp doll in the wind. Immediately, something like a light black hawk took off from the rooftop of the building next to him, the gusty wind pounding its wings, carrying it to the sky. When the lift was exhausted and this strange bird reached the apex of it’s climb, it turned violently and swooped down like thunder and lightning.

it was a black glider, and under the glider hung a dressed-up Ruri Kazama!

He was wearing a dazzling kimono, his robe and sleeves danced in the wind and rain. He carried his cherry red sword in his hand. Even without makeup, his plain white face was as beautiful as a supreme heavenly maiden, but with a lion-like smile.

He came in full costume to kill!

The blimp’s rudder was broken. It couldn't dodge and everyone could only watch Ruri Kazama's performance. The black wings hid the General from everyone’s eyes and no one knew his last expression. Whether he changed that mask-like smile.

Ruri Kazama brushed past the hanging ladder and cut off the King General's head with a single slash.

That was not the end of it. With his gliding wings, he expertly whirled around the King's corpse in a very tight circle, and the second slash cut the king in half at the waist. The third cut severed the hanging ladder. The King's body fell in pieces in the pouring rain, and Ruri Kazama waved his sword in the air to remove the blood on it, and his glider carried him into the buildings ahead.

This was the real trap with no way out, where the strongest bloodline ability cannot be brought to bear. Ruri Kazama understood that Herzog would never entrap himself in the tower. He already guessed that he would have an airship prepared to escape, but, because Ruri did not trust anyone, he didn’t say anything to anyone.

Not even you.

The air was filled with his laughter after he had won, like the laughter of an actor on stage, so exaggeratedly contrived, but hollow and sad. He hated Herzog so much. Your mind fills with questions. Why did he hate him so much? How many years did he prepare to kill this man?

“Chime…” Chisei’s eyes were full of questions and confusion too.

He finally noticed your presence and stiffened, hand on his sword. But you don’t move. “Do you believe me now?” You ask.

Chisei’s hand released. “How.”

“Oh this?” You shake one leg at him. “The ghost of my dead boyfriend came and healed me.”

Chisei’s gaze unfocused and you realized that you meant Z but Chisei was thinking of Chance. “I won’t ask your forgiveness.” He said.

“Good.” You bark a laugh. “I guess that means you’re not a total idiot.” You cross your arms over your chest and smirk.

Chisei sighs, but he smiles a bit. “Even in a dire situation as this, you make me laugh.”

“I have a feel for a dragon’s sense of humor. If the dragon is laughing, it cannot eat you.” You tilt your head slightly.

“And why are you here?” Chisei looked past you.

Moving like a shadow and completely unnoticed by you, Sakura Yabuki stepped forward. She had been at your back, ready to kill you if needed. You feel a sudden chill, but the danger was already over before you noticed it.

"As a result of a discussion with Crow. It was expected that you would come to the special observation deck, so I decided to send men to protect you." Sakura's answer was curt, "I was the only one suitable for the job, so I came."

Lithely muscled, tall, in a black bodysuit and face half covered, Sakura Yabuki was made to live in the shadows. You’d only seen her a few times on your arrival, but hadn’t seen her again since. It was probably a good thing. She didn’t seem to be the type who let you see her at all, unless she was the last thing you ever saw.

What stands out to you though was that subtle humor. Your eyebrows raise. She was funny!

You hear a soft grunt. Bondarev was holding his chest. He smiled that winning smile up at you. “MC. Long time no see!”

Anger rose from the soles of your feet to the top of your head and you stare down at him, fiercely judging. “What’s done is done. I’m not into revenge.”

“Yes… I will… face the judgement of God.” Bondarev hung his head slightly. “Chisei… let this girl go. She’s caught up in it. She’s innocent.”

“Cut the crap, Bondarev.” You say in sharp blistering Russian. He looks up at you again, eyes wide. “You’re not going to fool me. The minute I turn around, you’ll have me killed. This will end in blood because you don’t know how to live any other way.”

For a moment, Bondarev’s blue eyes sparkled. His Russian was smooth and unbothered by his injuries. “You’ve… learned Dr. Herzog’s lessons very well.”

Your lips quirk up in a smile.

Chisei’s eyes bounce from your face to his. “You … know each other?”

“Long story.” You back away from all of them, hands raised. “Do what you need to. I won’t interfere.”

"We must hurry up and get someone to clean up the scene," Bondarev said. "...and call a doctor for me."

"You've been taking some kind of drugs, haven't you?" Chisei Gen asked.

In the low light, you noticed an abnormal sheen on his body. It was the play of the light on small ivory scales.

"It's worse than that, it's preserved fetal blood, but with serum therapy, it's no problem to live for another few years or even a decade." Tachibana smiled, "Maybe enough to live to attend your wedding."

You glance at him and he meets your eye. Why would he mention that in front of you? Speaking in English, a language you would understand... Did he think you didn’t know about the serum treatment? He knows you’re dying and is dangling that in front of you. But you’re covered. Caesar would make sure to knock him off his throne and give you the leadership of Japan and the serum treatment without the constant threat of death. You respond to his look with a derisive snort and an unpleasant grin. You drawl in Russian. “No, thanks.”

The rain was still falling. The wind was sweeping across the special observation deck and carried a faint cry to your ears.

‘Tachibana’ froze for a few seconds and a great fright came into his eyes. He retreated step by step towards the interior. Chisei and Sakura also retreated with him. The majestic wind and rain seems to hide something more terrifying than even the King General.

Surprised, you turn to look for yourself.

A black shadow rose slowly from below the observation deck. The heavy rain hit its greenish-gray scales, breaking into a shining white mist. It unfolded several meters wide wings gently waving them in a graceful rhythm. A long snaky fish tail slowly stretches below its body.

Its long, dark hair is disheveled in the wind and rain, hiding its pretty female face. The corners of its mouth moved slightly, as if to laugh out loud, but what came out was a baby-like cry, and its mouth was full of thorny sharp teeth.

Flying Deadpool.

Not one but a group. They rose up from all directions, as if they were flying snakes in ancient frescoes, a sight that in the legends of all ancient civilizations heralded cataclysm.

#Dragon Raja

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romancandlemagazine · 4 years ago

Text

An Interview with Alexander Wolfe, the man behind Pedestrian Magazine

Pedestrian is a magazine about the humble art of walking. In this interview, I talked with the man with the plan, Alexander Wolfe, about his love for this much maligned form of transport, his recent expedition from New York to Philadelphia, and the art of conversation.

First off, you recently walked from New York City to Philadelphia over nine days. What made you want to do that?

The initial desire to walk to Philadelphia came out living in New York City during the pandemic. I was bound to my apartment for a few months with little to do but walk around my neighborhood. I've always had a habit of walking around the city, but the pandemic only made these walks longer and longer, which eventually led to a 23 mile journey from my apartment in Brooklyn, to the Bronx, and back.

Around that time I was reading The Roads to Sata by Alan Booth and started contemplating longer, multi-day walks. I needed a change of scenery and found the idea of traveling by foot and living out of a bag very appealing. I felt like I'd developed a process here in the city (go on a walk, take photos, write a newsletter about the walk, repeat) and needed to give myself a challenge. I wanted to lean further into this practice that I've been developing for the last three years.

I'd never considered my walks to be hikes, so it made sense that I'd keep it in an urban setting. Walking to Philadelphia seemed like a no-brainer. What most people don't initially realize is that most of my time was spent walking through New Jersey. I liked the idea of walking in a place that is commonly misrepresented as the "armpit of America" and typically deemed unwalkable. New Jersey is actually a very underrated state. It might be the densest state population-wise, but it's called the Garden State for a reason. Oh yeah, I'd never been to Philadelphia and just really wanted to visit.

How did the walk go? Quite often trips or excursions can be a fair bit different to how you first imagine them… how did the reality of the walk differ from how you thought it was going to be?

I was presented with a new challenge every day. Don't get me wrong, the walk turned out better than I could have ever imagined, but you can never anticipate everything in advance. This was the first time I'd ever walked with a 25 pound bag on my back, let alone the first time I'd walked 9 days in a row. Originally I set out to average 17.75 miles per day, but thanks to my own curiosity, ended up waking 20 miles a day on average. I mapped the entire route a month or two before leaving, but would always deviate from the path in favor of exploring some neighborhood, road, or park that looked appealing. The first day alone ballooned into 27 miles because I got cocky and thought I didn't need to use my map while walking in Manhattan. I learned my lesson and kept my eyes on the map for the rest of the trip.

Another thing I didn't expect was the sensitivity one develops after walking 6-8 hours for days in a row. The smell of exhaust and gasoline becomes more potent. You realize how violently we've shaped the land to build huge highways and abysmal business parks. So much of our infrastructure is built in favor of the car, which makes being a pedestrian incredibly difficult at times. If the built environment didn't present a challenge, it was always the weather, the gnarly blisters on my feet, or my gear malfunctioning. I quickly learned to accept these challenges. It was just another component of the walk.

A lot of times people go for ‘a walk’, they’re seeking out beauty spots or nice scenery—maybe in nature reserves or the countryside, but your walk was cutting through some fairly overlooked places… industrial estates and small towns. Do people miss out by not seeing the whole picture of somewhere? Is just driving through these places to get to the destination sort of cheating?

I wouldn't consider driving to be cheating – it's just another way we alienate ourselves from the world around us. When we drive, we experience the world at a speed that makes it nearly impossible to pay attention to the fine details. Our relationship to place is abstracted, especially thanks to the rise of GPS. We no longer have to have a physical relationship to these towns. We don't even have to remember how to get to them. Driving around in a car reduces these places to nothing more than a label on a map or a convenient place to stop for gas.

It's important to have relationships with the places surrounding you. The walk has given me an intimate experience with the space between New York City and Philadelphia. I know what it looks like, I know how it feels to be there. I can tell you where residents stop hanging New York Yankees flags in favor of Philadelphia Phillies flags. If I'm watching the Soprano's and Tony references Metuchen, NJ then I know exactly what he's talking about. I think to understand a place, such as New York City, it's just as important to understand the places around it. There are generations of people who once called the Big Apple home, but decided to plant their roots in Jersey for one reason or another.

I suppose you could have read about some of these places on Wikipedia, but being there is a completely different thing. Is experiencing stuff first hand important?

It's very important if you actually want to understand a place. It's too easy to create our own narratives without ever visiting a place. I still tried to do my share of research before heading out. I have friends from North Jersey or the Philadelphia Metro and tried to take their opinions with a grain of salt. I spent some time reading about certain towns along the way on Wikipedia or scanned Reddit to get a vibe. I even previewed chunks of the walk on Google Street View to mentally prepare and know if it was actually safe to walk near some of these roads. I could have spent months preparing, but it never would actually replace walking in these small towns and cities. It's so much different when you're on the ground.

I suppose the main reason we’re talking is that you make a magazine based around the idea of walking. How long have you been making Pedestrian? What started it off?

I released the first issue of Pedestrian back in March of 2018. I was living in Ridgewood, Queens at the time and made friends with a guy named Curtis Merkel (I actually met him while out on a walk). He ran a moving business for a few decades and retired. At 84 years old he opened up a tiny little bookshop to keep himself busy. I'd visit him every weekend to check out his books and eventually we'd just get to talking. He'd lived in Ridgewood his entire life and loved to talk about the neighborhood's history. Moving to NYC also introduced me to a thriving community of zine makers. I wanted to share these conversations I'd had with Curtis in print form, so I decided to start a magazine. I invited a few friends to contribute and the rest was history.

Since then, the identity of Pedestrian has become quite fluid. While it started as a magazine, I would now describe Pedestrian as my own practice. It's a platform that allows me to collaborate with others, produce magazines, write newsletters, go on these long multi-day walks, and produce t-shirts. I have found this configuration gives me the most creative freedom.

A lot of your magazine is about meeting people and striking up conversations. Is this a lost art these days?

I don't know if it's a lost art per se, but there's less incentive to reach out and talk with strangers these days. Thanks to the rise of social media it's just getting easier and easier to stay within our own "bubbles." Starting Pedestrian, in a way, was an excuse for me to speak with those I typically wouldn't reach. It's amazing how having a publication kind of takes the fear out of speaking with strangers. You can do anything when you have intention.

Although walking is something most people do, is it overlooked as an activity? It seems it’s mostly seen as an inconvenience, rather than a hobby in itself.

It depends where you live. In New York City, for example, walking is a part of the culture. The city is built in such a way that makes walking a viable means of transportation. And if you can't walk to your destination, you're likely walking to a subway or a bus. Where I'm from in Iowa, walking is very inconvenient. Everything is spaced out, which makes walking anywhere very difficult. It’s not that people don’t want to walk, it’s just the way we’ve built certain communities has made it very hard to enjoy. It makes people think walking is very inconvenient.

I’m here in Iowa until August and it’s been interesting to walk a place that is so reliant on cars. The other day I did a 13.5 walk around the city. There’s nothing here stopping you from walking (unless the heat gets you. Technically we’re in the middle of a drought. It’s been incredibly hot as of late), and there’s plenty of sidewalk. I think it’s mostly just a mindset people have to develop. It doesn’t matter how many miles you walk, it’s just about getting out there. Your mental health will thank you and you might even learn something new about your surroundings along the way.

Walking is maybe the antithesis to the internet, but Pedestrian also has a decent presence on the World Wide Web, and you regularly send newsletters and... er... partake in the digital world. How do you balance the real world with the matrix?

It’s a relationship I’m constantly reevaluating. I’m not a master of balancing the two yet, but I’m slowly building habits that will protect my time. I often daydream of abandoning social media altogether and picking up a flip phone. I obviously haven’t done that yet, so in the meantime, I’m investing a lot of time in my newsletter. Sending out a newsletter is a much more thoughtful, intimate, and slow experience...kind of like the way I approach my walks out in the world. I understand that the web is a tool and I’m not sure the Philly walk would have gotten the same amount of attention had I not had an Instagram account. It’s cliche, but everything in moderation, right? I try not to take it so seriously.

What next for Pedestrian?

The Philly walk was such a great success and I’d like to keep that momentum going. Later in September I have another big, big walk planned, but I have yet to announce the route. Look for an announcement sometime next month. This one will be a bit longer and involve 3 different cities. I can’t wait.

Once winter hits I’m going to buckle down and produce a proper book for the Philly walk that will include all my writing and photos I took along the journey. I’m already excited to share the finished product with the world. Stay tuned.

Final question, what are your walking shoes of choice? And what's your soundtrack? Are earphones advised for long walks, or do you prefer the ambient sounds of the streets?

I’m a big fan of Hoka Clifton’s. I wore them throughout the entire Philly walk and have two pairs in my closet. At this point, Hoka should probably pay me for how much business I send their way. I’m always recommending them.

I prefer not to wear headphones and just listen to the ambient sounds of the street. More often than not, I find wearing headphones to be a bit distracting and it takes me out of the present moment. Although, I’ll admit I have been trying to introduce music into my walking once again, but few tracks make the cut. Lately Andrew Wasylyk’s Last Sunbeams of Childhood has been on repeat. There’s something about that track...

Find out more about Pedestrian here. Pedestrian is available in the UK courtesy of Central Library.

#Interviews

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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New X-Men Xtrospective Part 3: Imperial (NXM #121-126)

To me all you happy people! And welcome back to my X-Citing look at Morrison’s Masterwork on Marvel’s Merry Mutants! Part One is HERE, Part Two is HERE if you feel like it.

If not... to catch you up on last time....

All Caught up? Good. Join me under the cut as our heroes head into this old woman’s hedd to see what’s wrong and fight off an alien army while horribly ill.

Silent, Psychic Rescue in Process:

So we pick up not long after we left off: Thanks to Beast waking up from his bat induced coma, the X-Men now know Charles is trapped in Cassandra’s body and she pulled a Freaky Friday on him, with marginally less bullets.

And thus we get this issue. This one was part of Nuff Said, an incredibly clever theme month by Marvel and one I wish they’d try and do again at some point in some form.

The gimmick was simple but amazing: Every issue would be mostly silent, with at most some dialouge at the start and finish to bookend it. So far i’ve only read two issues of this, this one and the X-Statix one, but it is a genuinely great idea. I do think forcing it on the entire line was a bit much, but as I said I do wish they’d do this again just make it optional: have some books opt in or do some annuals with the theme. It’s just a fun break from the usual and with this issue resulted in one of the best single issues of x-men period.

Naturally given the name, which is cleverly displayed on a sign the x-men have because of course they do, it’s exaclty that: Emma and Jean after readying themselves (Jean kisses Scott goodbye and Emma downs a bottle of jack because why not do an alchol before doing delecate mental surgery), head in.

Inside they find horrific old lady head doors, stone ol dlady heads around a tower that shoot lasers, and said doors also bite and puke weird goop because it’s Grant Morrison. This is his chance to just go full balls out weird.. and given last time involved skin flake golemns.. and this isn’t even the weirdest he’s done. As mentioned last time he once had a supervillian run for president using a super LSD Bike that made everyone high.

And just to prove he can reach that level of weirndess we find charles alone, naked and with an overenlarged brain.. before he transitions Jean to a field of sperm.

Yeah... but this DOES have a point.. as it turns out it’s a meaphorical transition into his gestation as a baby.. and how he had a twin. Yeah turns out Cassandra was not lying he did try to kill her.. but as you can probably tell by the fact she’s a genocidal sociopath, she lied by omission to screw with Hank: In the womb she tried strangling Charles to death with his own umbilical cord..only for him to use baby’s first psonic blast to send her reeling and his mom tumbling down the stairs and well.. you can probably guess the rest. Yeah.. Cassandra’s entire origin story is concentrated

And I love it. The sheer audacity is nice and everything but what makes it really work for me is the simple concept: An evil version of charles, one almost born at the same time whose every bit as evil as he is good.. granted there’s a TON of Morally Grey in Charles Xavier ESPECIALLY post decimation and even more so now with Krakoa. But he’s sitll at his heart a well meaning person, while Cassandra at her heart is a racist genocidal nightmare. She is pure evil, with enough personality to not make her boring.. and more importanlty all the power charles has but NONE of his restraint. Part of what makes Charles noble is he only uses his powers when necessary. Cassandra.. has no such restraint and will happily mentally snap necks all day.

So with this our heroine’s leave and we end on the iconic line “Professor Xavier killed his twin sister in the womb. We Really ought to talk.

This issue is an utter classic. It finally explains Cassandra a bit while still leaving a ton of questions, Frank Quitely is at his best here, and he and morrison are incrediby good at non verbal storyteling. The result is surreal, unsettling and awesome. Check it out. Seriously seek this one out it’s worth the trip. It’s so famous it was homaged with a spirtual sequel in the recent Giant Size X-Men one shots. It’s excellent stuff

Imperial:

So with our first issue we open with things going terrible on that flag ship Cassandra took off on with Lilandra, empress of the Shiar and Xavier’s space wife. She’s revealed herself, is ravaging the ship and mind rapes a the helmsman into crashing it, so with no other options Lilandra sends Smasher, not the one from the avengers run earlier version, to earth to send a warning to the X-Men.

At the School things are actually going well for a second. In an intresting move the school is changing things up with no officla timetable.. which I think means there’s no rigid class schedule and you can just do them as you please or as necessary for your power. The plan’s the same, they just want to learn from each other in building mutant society and the future. It’s ideas like this that are the bedrock of the current run and were sadly never fully realized here.. but I don’t blame this run for that. Morrison had 2-3 years and it was cut short early, leading to a rather disapointing ending we’ll get to. They never had a chance to really dig in because they were kicked out by morons and then their whole grand design was undone until Hickman un-undid it in 2019. And even then some of this like the idea of mutant culture and what not hasn’t been picked up on yet. I do mean YET, as given the sheer NUMBER of x books touching on all sorts of subjects, it’s only a matter of if not when.

As for who’s behind this it’s a combination of Jean and Charles: Jean is using charles notes and is going at full tilt. Scott is concerned though.. both about her since she went Phoenix and Logan told him about it and because these plans may alarm the humans. ON the former Jean just brushes him off which is not right.. given what happened with the phoenix force copy of jean, which granted had her personality, memories and powers and Jean later got a set of her memories so it might as well of been and only MAYBE the genocide is something Jean wouldn’t of done under the same circumstances, he’s understandably concerned. He lost her to it last time and it did weird shit to poor Rachel, who hif you don’t know is their daughter from an alternate timeline... because the Summer’s family tree is a WAKING NIGHTMARE. Thankfully I don’t have to untangle it because there’s a handy chart right here to do it for me that was recently released in X-Men Legends, a new series featuring legendary x creators telling stories in the cracks... and given we’re getitng storys by the simosons and peter motherfucking david, yeah good stuff.

And why yes there are more than one clone in this tree and several alternate timelines. , not to mention several clones and a sexy cat lady, it’s complicated is understnading it and i’m not sure what properly states it honestly. Also if your wondering about Adam there he’s the genetic son of Cyclops mom and the ma Shiar empreror who killed her for not sleeping with him through. Again it’s complicate REALLY feels like understatement.

Point is he DOES have a right to be worried about the thing that lead to her being cocooned for a while and left their daughter in the future at the time of this... just in case you needed a reminder after that wonderful clusterfuck of a chart up above athe x-men are really fucking weird.

So Jean brushing that off is not okay. She does however call him out on the second one and rightfully so: This isn’t some dominate the humans manifesto: this is simply changing the course of the future and how they teach their students to create a better one instead of adhering to human norms to try and appease “the republicans’, as jean puts it.. which has only gotten MORE RELEVANT, 20 years on: Attempts to appease the norms of society and things “just because that’s how it’s been” have never been a good thing. It’s why the very writer of this comic took several decades to properly identify themselves as non binary because people were too stuck int heir ways to try and see if there really were just two genders. Fighting against the grain, finding new ways to express things that have always been there... it’s what humanity needs to do and certainly what comes after us would need to do. i’ts how we get better as a race. If something’s not working we change it, quickly or slowly. And given Scott’s huge amount of emotoinal repression lately.. I can see why she’d see the former complaint as just him being a dick as opposed to the genuine concern it is.

Short Version: Jean Grey is fucking awesome and while he’d be the last to write her for decades, no one did it better than Grant and no one has since. Hopefully Gerry Duggan can clear that bar.

After this fight we get a fuller verson of what happened both at the end of issue 120 and in the big reveal last issue: Turns out Hank awoke because Charles piloted his body like a truck and needed it revealed fast. Hank’s regained control of his body and facilities by now, but in a twist of irony he helpfully points out, had Cassandra not gone a needlessly cruel and sociopathic tangent and had Beak beat Beast into a coma, Charles wouldn’t of had a body.

As for Charles in cass’ body he’s now in a tub of goo created by it.

It acts as a shield as well as melding him with Cerebra so he can talk to jean telepathically as his thoughts are very weak.

Thanks to this and her psychic Jaunt, Jean now knows just what the hell cassandra is: She really is Charles twin sister. As for how the hell she surivied outside of the womb and how Charles never knew, she created herself a clone body using his cells and didn’t fully manifest till now. And while she has plenty of intellegence, at an emotional level she’s fully convinced, much like an infant that only she and charles are real and thus destroying him means gaining domance over her world. So in short she’s both utterly insane and now has an interstellar empire at her fingertips.

And the news SOMEHOW get sworse: She booby trapped her body and charles only has days before he’s vegatable, having put every psychological disease possible in there, and she’s probably responsible for their colds and the u-men. So in short their pretty scrwed but at the very least Charles plans to try to flip things, use the fact their now public (a clear tactic to weaken them) to share his manefesto, his last will and testiment if you would.

Scott meanwhile figures since their sick a healer might be a good idea and goes solo to fetch Xorn... who just sorta disappeared after the annual and didn’t return till his arc.

We get an utterly touching scene after this: With Logan staying on his hobbit like toes in case of another attack, Jean goes to talk to hank. Hank is still throughly traumatized from the attack, fearing Cassandra is right and he’ll just keep devlovling until he ends up in a metamoprhisis type situation. I mean it’s not ALL bad hank,.. I mean going through that guarantees a musical about you.

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But Jean reassures him: It’s okay to be afraid of her, they all are.. but as she puts it...

It’s a really powerful inspiring scene... and really afirms how well Morrison writes Jean from the previous arc onward. She’s confident, powerful.. but also caring and compassionate. Here hank’s at his lowest, disparing that this might get worse.. and she reaffirms that htis evolution is an upgrade.. he may not be the same.. but that’s okay. He’s better. It really speaks to the core message of the X-Men as a whole and why they’ve stuck around all this time: It’s not just okay your diffrent.. it’s WONDERFUL. Your wonderful for being you. Whatever meataphor you read into it, it’s at it’s core a message that no matter who hunts you or trys to shame you for what you are, they are wrong and you are wonderful. And you are not alone... your people are out there.. and they will go through hell to protect you. It’s moments like this that remind me despite the bad parts, the accidnetal transphobic metaphor last time, a subplot with Hank coming up, the affair storyline and Planet X, just.. Planet X.. this run is special to me for a reason. It has heart, character and truly gets how the x-men should work, what makes them great... while making something NEW AND FRESH from it’s bones. Pushing envelopes, chanigng things for good and shaking things the hell up after far too much stagnation. It’s just pure good comicy goodness and i’m proud to finally be talking about it after having always wanted to.

So as we end the issue Scott grabs Xorn, whose been at a budist temple all this time, and Smasher arrives to warn earth... but his warning missed his intended target.

Well at least he got to Hellcow’s coven.. maybe she can call in Man Eating Cow and the Chick Fill A Super Cows.. thought hey might not help. Their parent company IS pretty homophobic.. I doubt their high on mutants either.

Testament Emma and Jean talk over things how i’ts going etc, with Emma unsuprisingly annoyed with most of the students and Jean optimsitc.

But Emma soon has bigger issues to deal with: TEEN ANGST!

Yeah 4/5 of the Cuckoos are upset Esme has a boyfriend. Their concerns in part are because without her their apparently powerless.. which given one will die and another will leave and they’ll be left with three is just factually not true, and either Morrison changed his mind later, or more likely their simply exagerating like teens do. Emma points out it’s pointless to fight this...

So... their in a domestically abusive relationship rife with sexual tension? Are you sure your not htinking of Sam and Diane, Ross and Rachel, Garfiled and Odie perhaps?

Meanwhile Angel’s sulking in a tree talking about how all the kids are stupid and she dosen’t fit in. That sort of thing. Wolverine naturally has a tactful and understandable response to this:

It’s here Angel goes from understandable, a bit hard edged and obnoxious becuase of a very rough life.. and just becomes annoying. I do get what Grant was trying to do: he was trying to play with Wolverine’s habit of taking sassy teens under his wing by giving him a more hardscrabble one with a harder life pre-xaviers.. not that Jubilee’s was easy, but I get what he was going for.. he just dosen’t succeed. Instead of a realistic version of a teen sidekick she just comes off as an obnoxious brat whose rude to everyone including her one friend Logan and her later boyfriend. It dosen’t help that ONCE AGAIN, Morrison flew directly into unfortunate implications without meaning to, by having the only major POC character (Bishop guest stars later and there are two significant characters during the Riot at Xaviers arc but both aren’t relevant before or after), be an abused teen with gross fly based powers and a teen pregnancy subplot. Seriously this isn’t even the LAST time Morrison shoves their foot in their mouth like this in this run. While I do like this run a lot, it’s still 20 years old and it’s still going to have a bunch of bits that have aged like harvarti left on a sidewalk, and handing out unfortnuate implications like their candy is tied for the biggest with their handling of Magneto when he finally shows up in person. It’s THAT bad a take on the character that it’s up there with accidental racisim and transphobia.

So moving on from.. that we get Jean comforting the professor before meeting the press, giving a throughly lovely speech about how Charles got his powers 30 years ago and despite seeing the worst in humanity, used his telepathy to allow him to see past it and see deep down just how scared and alone we all felt. So she takes them into a psychic conference room and we get a very interesting exchange.

It’s an interesting parallel to how real world disinfranchised groups, how it takes time.. but soon being a POC or LBGTQ+ goes from unrightfully perscuted to celebrated. How a group starts with hates whipsers on the fringe of things but grows to be accepted, like it always SHOULD have been. Take representation of Trans people in the media. It started with Trans people being almost entirely punchlines and sources of fucking horendous “DID DEY USED TO BE A MAN.” storylines and hurtful jabs at people who had transitioned, treating them as a sideshow instead of you know as fucking human beings. But now coming out as what you always were ont he inside is celebrated. Sure the right are dicks about it but they always will be: but most media gladly celebrates when someone comes out as trans. Same with being gay, or bi or pan or polamorus or nonbinary. Hell I admire grant for showing i’ts not even 100% perfect once you are popular: you still have to grapple both with people wanting to copot your culture and those who still don’t understand you trying to speak for you.

She also gets the standard question calling the X-Men an army, shoots it down with the normal global peacekeeping operation stuff.. then we get this bitch.

Who quickly realizes she’s outclassed by Emma Frost, professional that bitch. And while Jean is understandbly going to have to erase that.. I can’t blame her for snapping her.

Just to tear this shit down.: The privacy thing is not something she’s doing. All she’s doing is spcyhic teleconfrencing, you harpy. They fight greek gods and monsters to protect your sorry ass and the last one.. just makes me absolutely livid and feels so much like a real world comment i’m suprised there isn’t a fox news logo next to her bigoted head.

Trouble follows them everywhere they go.. because their mutants. They can’t help it. A LOT of shit like the demons, aliens, and gods and what not, I do not know if they actually did fight the greek gods but i’m not going to say for sure they did not, the norse gods defintely, not sure on greek. But the point is allt his stuff HAPPENS TO THEM half the time, or is a consequence of trying to PROTECT PEOPLE. I’m so nettled by this because this is how the marvel unvierse acts all the fucking time towards ALL super powered peoples. Mutants esepcailly but they blame the heroes and what not for being chased and harassed by guys in costumes or alien invasions or all the stuff they FIGHT. Sure sometimes they caused it but it’s either because of a monsterous person with a grudge or just because their powerful and some douche took an intrest. I’m just.. so fucking tired of asshole civlians in comics. It’s realisitc I know but it’s just hard to stomach after so many have turned their back on so many for such DUMB reasons.

Jean recovers well pointing out the genocide and how 16 million people, 16 million possible einsteinss or mozarts are just GONE, and that their trying to focus on the future. She also brings up autistic savants who can talk to atoms and while I don’t like the use of the savant thing, as it brings to mind stuff like rainman I very badly want to see this autistic kid who can talk to atoms as someone on the spectrum myself. Also I just want the crew of HIckma’ns books in general to pour over this because there are a lot of intresting powers and personalities only MENTIONED we never saw proper that could be great characters. Just saying.

Jean cocludes her speech to the world, including Logan whose wisely getting hammered at anearbye bar.. while Hank finds out what’s going on with their sickness.. nanonscopic sentnels in the blood.

But while the press confrence ends well with Jean having won over the press.. things go sideways as not only is it clear Esme’s boyfriend is in fact something sinister.. but Jean falls over due to the nano snetinels, and senses Scott being taken in tibet, taken down by a group of the Shiar’s imperial guard.. picutre the legion of superheroes but blindly loyal to the goverment and far more likely to get killed. And the rest are preparing to attacking including Gladiator who if you don’t know him, has all the powers of superman as long as he retains his confidence.

And it turns out Esme’s boyfriend is an advanced Scout, the shapeshifting amoeba blob thing Stuff, a new addition by morrison and good on him. And the Imperial Guard are here but with one goal

Superdestroyer

On the Ship we find out both wha’ts going on with Scott and Xorn, they’ve been taken and why the shiar are attempting mutant genocide: Cassandra is puppeting ALL of them, has convinced them the mutants are infected and since Lilandra is a puppet, Scott’s words fall on deaf ears.

Meanwhile Wolverine ambushes one of the squads, kiling one named Dinosaurer via claw to the brain, while Emma has had a dome thing put over her head and isn’t transforming into diamond to counter it because...

But the Cuckoos fight back, taking out oracle before easily handling stuff since his brain is fairly simple.. and given he’s racist against solid people and unlike the others reveling in the genocide just a tad.. yeah what he deserves. So now with a living weapon the Cuckoos make peace with Angel as they need all the help they can get.

Jean ushers the press into the panic room, not happy about it but not having anothe roption for their saftey. Hank tells her to self distruct crebra if cassandra get sclose and goes off to join the fight and let off some steam over the situation. Hank easily routes two of them, and one , Manta tries to just fly right ot jtean wince their TK proof. How does that go?

Jean gets to saftey after that, not that she needs it and hank is quickly taken down by a batch of Superguardians.. only for Wolverine to arrive in the Sknitt of time and chop them up.. oh and as one of the puts it...

Bad. Ass. I also like the addition of the flight patch, a nod to the Legion, who the Imperial Guard were based on as those kids used flight rings.

But while Logan and Hank easily tag team these assholes...

The SHiar call in the big guns.. Gladiator.. and I wasn’t kidding abotu the superman thing. While Logan TRIES to talk him out of it, the murders only confirm Cassandra’s bullshit and Gladiator breaks into the panic room throwing hank and wolverin’e before them having utterly decimated them off panel. I mean Wolvie is a badass.. but even he has limits. I also like recontecullizing the guard as a whole here.. showing just how TERRIFYING they SHOULD be as enimies to the x-men. Yes our heroes did win.. but barely and only till Gladiator showed up. In most cases thier clearly holding back out of affection but here hteir just at errifying unstoppable force, and also apparently used to doing genocides like this. It takes what was a cheesy shout out to David Cockrums other big artistic work, and makes it horrifying and it is AWESOME. I admit to not having liked this arc as much for the longest time but this reread, the sheer teror and hopleessness as an interstellar superman easily cuts through our mighty mutants like tissue... it’s awesome.

Thankfully one of the Guard found smasher.. and thus the truth comes out so our heroes are given a stay of execution with Gladiator clearly horrified at what he almost did and our heroes now so sick they can barely move and Hank can’t think them out of this.

Thankfully he dosen’t has to as back in space, Cyclops tires of it and points out something Xorn, not being as experinced nor having delt with the guard ahd thought of: G-Type, the glowly guy about to execute them, is made of solar energy.. and xorn can manipulate that thanks to his star brain. He does, they take out the rest.. and prepare to go save the day.

Losers: PIcking up shortly before where we left off we see Cassandra murder Lilandra’s advisor who figured out what she was just as our heroes escape.. and as Cassandra is having Lilnadra order all of the shiar ships to immolate themselves.

WIth Lilandra not being any use, Cass tries to psychically force her to commit sucidie but jumping off a space ledge but Xorn saves her. Cass tries another turn at mentally breaking an x-man, pointing out all scott’s recent flaws, his increased repression his faling marriage and while it gets him to stop it dosen’t quite work as well as it did on hank, likely because at his heart Hank is simply a more emotive person. Though his REAL reason for stalling is he can’t kill charles.. which he muses just as the ship blows up real good.

Meanwhile back at Campus the kids initaiate their plan, having Angel break in and take a dna sample. She also finds beak naked in a tank and decides eh why not and brings him with her. This ends up paying off as Beak suggests the obvious to get emma free.. just force the space guy they have over in the corner to do it. They do and it works

Back in the mansion our heroes prepare for Casssandra... but Jean and Logan object to saving her body, pointing out that getting hank to repair it is exactly what she wants, and that Jean feels she can save charles without uit, with Hank being understandably doubtful given their current condition.. but Jean’s real plan is to put charles in her head and it’s already too far in actoin to stop now: she’s been saving his memories as they flaked off and if she dosen’t do this now there will be no charles left.

Hank evacuates the civlians to teh danger room, and has an encounter with trish who tries to apologize and get him back.. only for him to rightfully regjecter her..a and then goes a step further by capping it off with:

Yeah on it’s own it’s not TERRIBLE. Still very dated to claim your gay just to spite someone, but for the time it was acceptable and compared to some of Morrison’s other gaffes in the run it’s minor at best. But it leads into a rather annoying subplot we’ll naturally get to that’s a much bigger issue, so i’ll save talking about it in full for when it comes up again.

Jean manages to shove Chuck into her head, but is naturally leaking a bit and barely holding it or him together and may of overestimated herself just a tad.. while on the lawn Cassandra easily takes out the guards. That said the scene of Jean taking Chuck into her head is REALLY damn awesome. Jean is the arc MVP by a mile and Hank is pretty dang good competition.

All Hell: We open the final issue of the arc with Scott and Xorn escaping the spaceship using some teleport tubes taking Arakai and Lilandra with them.

We open with Cassadra utterly humilating gladiator while the kid team prepares to fight her despite you know, the 8 billion to 1 odds against them.

Jean, despite hte discknes and trying to keep an old man in her brain marches out , prepared to fight, for the kids sake. For the world’s sake. But Logan’s easily taken out and with Jean barely holding it together.. the kids prepare to fight.. likely being slaughtered even if they mean well.. onlyf or help to finally arrive with Scott and Xorn glowy porting in. We get a really sweet , short moment with scott and jean...

Scott not knowing the situation tries to have Xorn heal charles first but since Cassandra’s body is dead and unoccupied that’s a no go.. he’s still usefult hough, curing Jean of her nanosentital sickness and moving on to Scott and Hank while there’s still time.

We find out more about cassandra: She’s a murrmadi, a bodyless parasite.. eseetinally the dark first test a person faces... she just stuck around because she was one for a telepath.. the world’s STRONGEST telepath. But really other than that part the rest just feels like stuff we alreayd heard LAST TIME, mildly repaackaged and seems enitrley like filler to pad the issue out.

So while Jean takes cerebra, both to keep it away from Cassandra’s plans of mutant genocide and for whatever she has planned, Scott, Hank and Xorn prepare to hold the line.. and as Jean mentions.. emma’s still out in the wild.

So we get our climactic showdown.. logan, hank and xorn veruss cassandra, with Cassandra trying to do eveyrthing she can, tear them down mentally, throw out the students with our heroes fighting back best they can. It’s good stuff.

Eventaully Cassandra gets to Jean.. but she’s already inacted her plan, putting a piece of Xavier’s mind in EVERY mutant, and giving Cassandra one ohell ofa reason you suck speech.

It’s an incapsulation of what i said earlier and what the runs about: alone we are weak but together.. we just might make it. More on that as we go. But thanks to Cass naturally going fo rcerberba.. she accidently restores charles and is left bodyless.

Emma finishes the fight with her own brilliant gambit, presending cassandra her body.. but it’s actually stuff , reprogrammed into a sentient brain for her to inhabit and leaving her trapped, with Charles hoping t teach the now mentally reset Cassandra. So Cassandra is beat, the virus is stopped, and our heroes have one.. but naturally for this run.. there’s one last suprise in store.

Charles can walk again.. and going forward will be a far more active member of the team. The team is complete, Cassandra is beaten, and the future.. is bright.

Final Thoughts:

This arc is a mixed bag.. it has really good scenes with the first and last issues being the standouts, with the former being an utter classic with an intresting gimick and the latter being a rousing climax with tons of awesome moments, with some good mometns scattered throughout.

But that’s the arc’s issue.. it has good moments and ideas.. but they don’t quite work togehter. The idea of teh Shiar Imperial Guard nearly doing a genocide is good, but the Shiar are such flat characters.. it’s really hard to care. They just don’t have enough connection to the x-men to really have the betryal sting but aren’t callous enough for genocide protocols to maeks sense. It’s a good idea, I still support it being terrifying.. but not enough is done with it and it feels liek Grant is more concerned with throwing weirdos at the x-men than actually saying something.

The biggest issue however is the art. While inconsitant art is an issue as they’d rotate artists.. but in previous arcs it was usually pretty evenly split but here it’s sloppy: Quitely does the first issue, van Sciver the second.. and the worst of the three Igor Kordey does most of the art. I gave him the beinfit of the doubt last time.. but this time not so much. His art is muddy and tries to be stylized but comes off confusing,ugly and not great. He’s probably a lovely guy but given he’s up against two legendary artists, his lack of style comapred to both shows badly. And given the arc is alreayd a bit overly complicated, it makes things WORSE by giving us muddled art in a very complex storyline. The flip flopping art makes a fairly intricate story very hard to follow. It’s easily why this arc didn’t grab me in the past and even seeing some better moments, it’s not the series best. It’s not the worst either, Planet X easily takes that ground despite having far better art. It’s an incredibly muddled incredibly long feeling arc and really needed to be compressed by one or two issues but instead is just hard to get through. It’s owrth it for the rest of the runa nd the good moments within but all in all easily one of the weakest points in the series.

Next Month on New X-Men:The X-Men soak in the new world order, and we meet fantomex, dust and the last surivivors of genosha.

Next on this blog:Green Eggs and Ham is back!

If you enjoyed this review PLEASE join my patreon. The end of hte month is coming and I need eveyr cent I can get so join at patreon.com/popculturebuffet and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

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stellar-starseed · 4 years ago

Text

Never In A Million Years

Deleted Scene (aka the real Ch. 5)

Group: BTS

Pairing: Yoongi x fem!reader, Jimin x fem!reader, polyamory

Summary: You have just confessed to one of your close friends that you have feelings for them. Things don’t go according to plan, and you turn to your best friend, Yoongi, for comfort.

(Deleted Scene) Chaper 5

Other Chapters: Master List

Warning: 18+, sexual content in later chapters, possible language

Note: cross posted on ao3

Really this was actually Chapter 5, but it wasn’t until creating this post that I realized I effed up. So, this is now a deleted scene...apologies. Enjoy!

Deleted Scene

AKA Chapter 5

Jimin and Jungkook were going to be taking exams for the better part of the afternoon, so you found yourself quite bored after work. When you began craving coffee, more specifically coffee from Yoongi’s favorite cafe, you started to think some magnetic force was pulling you two together. Maybe the universe wanted you to forgive him for so easily pushing you away. After all that happened you couldn’t get him off your mind. You should be furious, but Yoongi could never stay on your bad side for long, he was too cute for that nonsense.

It didn’t take long to reach the cafe and you found yourself growing nervous as you entered. Making it a point not to look around, you fiddled with your keys as you walked toward the register where a smiling face was looking back at you.

“Welcome! What can I get started for you?” The tall barista said cheerfully. They were either very good at their job or naturally happy because it didn’t seem the slightest bit fake. You gave your order and name and sluggishly stepped towards the other side as you scanned the room carefully. Your heart skipped a beat and the butterflies in your stomach seemed to be fighting one another. You saw Yoongi in the back corner with his large headphones on, bobbing to what could only be one of his new mixes. This entire situation was quite strange to you. You’ve known Yoongi for nearly half your life and you were getting nervous at the sight of him. Your best friend was giving you butterflies. You realized you were staring when your name was called multiple times and you were drawn from your daydream.

“I wouldn’t disturb that one.” The barista warned as he gestured towards Yoongi. “He gets a little snippy when you interrupt his work.” You couldn’t help but laugh. You had been witness to those moments and even been on the wrong side of them from time to time.

You tried your luck anyway and slowly headed for the back corner where he sat behind a screen. He was concentrating as if his life depended on it. You sat down very carefully and his brows furrowed before he tore his eyes away from his computer screen to look at you. You gave him a shy smile and his features softened. He slipped his headphones off and smiled at you.

“Thought you didn’t like coffee.” He chuckled.

“I missed you.” You shrugged, glancing down at the hot beverage you hoped was covered up with enough sweetness to mask its taste. Yoongi laughed softly.

“I tried to call.”

“I know.” You can’t seem to meet his eyes even when you see him in your peripheral vision ducking his head trying to meet yours.

“You’re upset.” He states with a sigh.

“You pushed me away, Yoongi.” Your tone was sharp and, though you wanted it to be, you felt regret as soon as you heard it.

“I want you to be happy,______.” Now he was avoiding your gaze. “Jimin seems to make you happy.”

“You made me happy.” You blurt out and you can feel your cheeks burning as he looks up at you again. You clear your throat and look back down at your drink. When did things become so awkward?

“I never wanted to hold you back because of how I felt. I wanted you to be with who you wanted. Your first choice. That choice was never me.” Those words stung. You knew he didn’t mean to hurt you with them, but they felt like a blade to your heart.

“Fuck you, Yoongi. You don’t know what I wanted.” You grabbed your drink and left the table.

“You lasted longer than me.” The barista calls after you. Too upset to even spare him a glance you push through the door.

Your pace was so fast you were nearly running home. Taking a sip of your beverage, You grimaced and tossed it in the nearest trash can. You were fuming. You were wounded. You knew he was right.

You had been upset with Yoongi three times in your relationship. The first was when you were in college and he had his first serious girlfriend. You picked a fight with him over not spending enough time with you and told him she was ruining your friendship. He broke up with her not long after that. The second time was when Jimin informed you of their conversation weeks prior. The conversation that has lead you to your relationship with Jimin. Now, this time you were upset because he was right and it hurt you to think that you hurt him. Yoongi wasn’t your first choice, in fact you only seemed to act out whenever he wasn’t available.

You were more mixed up than ever. If you felt this way about Yoongi why didn’t you ever realize you had feelings? Why did you suppress them and go after every wrong choice possible? Jimin was the only person you ever had feelings for, besides Yoongi, that was a good guy, incredible really. Both of them were incredible. How are you supposed to handle this?

You found yourself walking around the park down the street from your apartment contemplating what your next move was going to be. You were dating Yoongi less than a month ago. There was some grand decision making happening behind your back and now your with the man you swore was the man of your dreams on more than one occasion. Guilt hit your heart when you realized you made that confession to Yoongi. This realization made anger rise within you.

Wanting to take your mind off the situation, you decide to call Jimin and take him to dinner. You went to grab your phone out of your pocket when you were immediately hit on the side of the head. There was a sharp pain followed by darkness. You were knocked to the ground unconscious. When you woke up you were met by bright fluorescent lights and an IV attached to your arm.

“There she is!” Jungkook‘s soothing voice breaks the silence. You lift your head to see him and Yoongi’s pacing came to a halt upon hearing Jungkook’s statement. “You really need to stop hitting your head.” He laughed as he reached your bedside.

“Thank goodness, what happened?” Yoongi was by your side as well, his hand slipped into yours.

“Not really sure. I feel kind of dizzy.”

“Baby, are you okay?” Jimin says as he enters the room. But before you can answer He blurts out, “Let met get the doctor!” Rushing out of the room he flags down your nurse. She comes to check on you and informs you that you have a concussion. The doctor enters the room moments after.

“How are you feeling?” The tall dark haired man asks as he places a hand on your ankle with what seemed practiced concern.

“I’m a little dizzy and my head hurts when I lift it.”

“Okay, these are normal symptoms to have with a concussion, but your scans came back all clear. The symptoms can last for a few weeks so don’t be alarmed if your having dizziness and headaches. If your symptoms worsen then you can come back to the emergency room. Other wise, rest for the next couple of days. I’ll have your nurse get you discharged.”

“What happened, jagiya?” Jimin sat on the bed and took your free hand. Yoongi didn’t let go of the other.

“I was in the park walking around and then I was here.” You chuckle and shrug. “I honestly don’t know what happened. I felt a sharp pain I guess that’s all I really remember.”

“When we got here the nurse said the couple that brought you in told her you were mugged.” Yoongi rubs the back of his neck and avoids eye contact. You knew it bothered him because he always had issues with emotional situations.

“It’s a good thing they were there to help!” Jungkook tried to look on the bright side.

“Baby, don’t go wandering around at night by yourself okay?” Jimin rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.

“It wasn’t at night.” You clearly remember it being light out.

“When she left me it was still light.” Yoongi mumbles.

The guys begin to talk amongst themselves about how thankful they should be that nothing else happened to you. Yoongi pointed out that the small bag you were carrying was no where to be found. The nurse came in to go over your discharge instructions before letting you go. Yoongi insisted that you stay at his apartment.

“Noona, I think that’s a good idea too.” Jungkook said when you protested.

“The doctor did say you would be fine, jagi, but I agree with Yoongi and JK. I think we would all feel better if you had someone watching over you.” Jimin kissed your cheek and gave you his puppy dog eyes. Those eyes were incredibly hard to resist.

“Don't.” You whined as you stared into his eyes. He bat his eyelashes and gave you a small pout. You answered him with a pout and he smiled and kissed you softly on the lips.

“Good.” He stated simply. He pulled you into him, gently placing your head on his chest and kissing the top of your head. They agreed that you and Jungkook would go to Yoongi’s apartment while Jimin and Yoongi went to grab necessities at your place.

________

The ride to your apartment was a quiet one. Jimin and Yoongi were still trying to process how something like this happened to you. It was broad daylight and in the middle of a public place, but somehow you were caught in the middle of someone’s stupidity.

“I didn’t want to show it, but that really scared me.” Jimin says softly as they enter your apartment.

Yoongi looks over at Jimin, taking in the sincerity of that statement, “Me too.”

“Really? I thought I was the only one freaking out! Everyone was so calm. And the doctor acted like it was nothing!” Jimin’s voice gave away how upset he was over this. Yoongi pressed his lips together and nodded.

“These sort of things happen to me not, ______.” Yoongi shook his head.

Jimin cocked his head, “you’ve been mugged?” His eyes became wide. Yoongi nodded and shrugged.

“It’s happened a couple of times. I found out the first one was set up by someone who was trying to steal my mixes. The second time I got my backpack with my lap top in it stolen.”

“Whoa.” Jimin shivered. “I can’t imagine going through that.”

“Not fun.” Yoongi let out a chuckle as he grabbed a backpack. Jimin folded some clothes and neatly placed them in the bag. Yoongi headed for the bathroom to gather other necessities.

“I never thanked you.” Jimin said as he continued to fill the backpack carefully.

“For What?” Yoongi’s voice echoed in the bathroom.

“Giving me a chance with her.”

“It was that or a bring you into our relationship. I just didn’t think she would want that.” Yoongi walks out of the bathroom with his arms full.

“You’re serious?” Jimin drops the bag and stares at Yoongi who nods. Jimin takes a deep breath and contemplates it in all seriousness. “I don’t think I would’ve minded that.”

————————————————————————

I hope this missing piece didn’t mess up the flow, and I also hope you enjoyed it either way.

Thanks for being lovely. Catch you on the next episode. Stay golden.

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voleurdesoleil-archive · 4 years ago

Text

Hallelujah

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles

Pairing: Male detective (Jonah Rafferty) x Adam x Nate

Word count: 1.7k

read on ao3

‘Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth,

The minor fall and the major lift,

The baffled King composing Hallelujah.”

Music was coming from Jonah’s apartment and Nate, even before opening the door, knew exactly what he would find in there and he couldn’t help but frown as he thought of a moment he had sadly been accustomed to. He opened the door that Jonah had left open for them in case he was already asleep by the time they were done with their patrol, and let Adam in before closing it behind him.

The sight he had upon standing in the doorway was sadly endearing.

Adam had immediately walked to the window but for once he wasn’t staring outside. His eyes were set on their boyfriend, laying on the floor next to his turntable, with Bo sleeping at his feet. Although his gaze was very soft, it was also full of concern. The lingering scent of lasagna, Jonah’s comfort food, was filling the air and the moonlight was coming through the window as the pitter-patter of the rain could be heard outside.

Without a word, Nate closed the distance between them and laid down on the floor next to Jonah who, with his eyes still closed, instinctively reached for his hand.

Jonah slowly opened his eyes, blinking a couple times to adjust to the darkness of the room. “Hi Nate…” He turned to him, giving him the most beautiful smile the vampire had ever seen.

“Stressful day?” Nate asked.

“Mhm…” Jonah simply mumbled as he lifted his head to catch a glance of Adam. “Hi Adam…"

"Hi Jonah.” The vampire answered as he turned away to look out the window, Jonah letting out a soft chuckle as he did so.

Jonah, rolling over, scooted closer to Nate, seeking out some warmth and nuzzled his head in the crook of his neck as the vampire wrapped his arms around him.

Nate couldn’t tell how long they stayed like that, but all he knew was that he didn’t want for this moment to ever end.

The quiet enveloping them was sometimes broken by Jonah humming to the song or when Bo was seeking affection, pulling the cutest sneak attacks to get belly rubs.

As Adam walked past them, Jonah quickly sat up and grabbed his hand to pull him down. The stern vampire, caught off guard by Jonah’s sudden movement, lost his balance and fell on his knees.

Adam was now kneeling next to them, his gaze focused on Jonah’s hand wrapped around his. His cheeks had turned a bright red and Nate could hear his heart pounding wildly in his chest. The corner of his lips twitched slightly as he tried to repress a smile.

“Nate is not the only one I want to cuddle with…” Jonah whispered and Nate could have sworn Adam’s heart had missed a beat upon hearing that.

Adam tried to pull away his hand, which only resulted in Jonah clutching it a bit tighter. Seeing Jonah’s pleading eyes, it only took a few seconds for Adam to surrender and lay down next to Jonah.

There was a certain shyness in the way Adam wrapped his arms around Jonah, resting his chin on his shoulder. Jonah could feel his heart beating way too fast against his back, but Adam’s grip on his waist was firm, almost as if he was scared to let him go.

“You know, I used to live alone before I knew you,

And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch,

And love is not a victory march.”

The room was now only filled with Jeff Buckley’s voice and the sound of the rain hitting the window. In that instant, none of them could have thought of a better place to be than the floor of Jonah’s apartment, basking in each other’s presence.

___

They had been listening to the song on repeat for an hour, maybe more, and Jonah was now sound asleep in Adam’s arms and the latter was slightly dozing off too. Seeing the vampire so relaxed and vulnerable was a first for Nate and he knew he had to appreciate every second of this moment before Adam’s distant facade was back on.

But as Jonah shivered, he realized the detective probably needed a better place to sleep than the wooden floor of his apartment. Putting Bo down, Nate kneeled next to Adam and, , running his fingers along his jawline, barely grazing his skin, called the vampire’s name. “Adam?"

"Hmm?” The vampire blinked a couple times but was careful not to make any sudden moves, to avoid waking up Jonah.

“We should put Jonah in his bed.” Nate suggested, to which Adam simply nodded. “Here let me take him…” He said as he held out his arms.

Holding Jonah was like lifting a couple of grapes to him, but the waft of Jonah’s scent suddenly made him weak and his legs shook under the weight of his own feelings.

Adam was already in Jonah’s room, pulling away the sheets and Nate softly put him down.

“Well there was a time when you let me know,

What’s really going on below,

But now you never show that to me, do you?"

Tucking Jonah in his bed, Nate pressed a kiss on his forehead before leaving the room while Adam lingered a bit before closing the door. Nate was smiling fondly at him.

"What?"

"Nothing, it’s just nice seeing you that peaceful.” Nate whispered, afraid that if he were to speak louder it would burst the bubble they had immersed themselves in.

Adam had no idea how to react to that and he just stood there, fumbling on words to just quickly walk to the window.

“I don’t mean anything wrong with that, Adam.”

“I know…” Adam turned to Nate, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “I simply have no idea what to say.” To which Nate simply gave a nod of understandment.

Minutes passed and they were once again surrounded by silence. Nate had turned off Jonah’s turntable and Adam was once again staring out the window, but he was looking at anything. It seemed to Nate that he was lost in thoughts.

“I’m scared Nate.” Adam eventually spoke up. “I’m scared of everything, all those feelings…”

“Jonah’s not gonna leave, you’ll have time to deal wi-”

“I’m talking about my feelings for you Nate!” Adam’s voice had come out a bit louder than he had expected and they both turned towards Jonah’s door as they heard him mumble but the detective didn’t wake up.

“Your feelings about me?” Nate repeated as he tried to process Adam’s sudden confession.

“I’m not sure what they are, yet, and I’m scared to dig deeper. I’m scared it’s going to change everything…” Nate was too shocked to react in any way so Adam took it as an invitation to continue as his gaze followed a drop of rain sliding down the window. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, I just have no idea how to deal with all of that Nate…”

Nate moved to sit on the Jonah and patted the space next to him to tell Adam to join him, which he did. Adam’s hands were resting on his knees and Nate softly put his on top of them.

“You don’t have to know how you’re feeling all the time. I myself am not entirely sure how I’m feeling, about you I mean. Feelings developed, a long time ago-” Nate chuckled at the memory. “- but by then, you had made it clear you weren’t interested in any sorts of relationship so I kept them for myself, even when we grew closer, because I couldn’t risk damaging whatever bond we were creating or compromising our mission at the time, and I thought that whatever I was feeling might go away with time, but oh was I wrong.” Nate was the one to divert his gaze this time. Talking about his feelings for the brooding vampire, outloud, for the first time was more challenging than he thought, but Adam putting a hand on his forearm gave him the courage to continue. "Feelings only grew stronger and harder to control so I learned to love you without you realizing. So if you need time to think about your feelings, take it. I’ve been waiting almost a century for you to reciprocate those feelings so I can wait a little bit more.”

Adam squeezed Nate’s hand slightly in his own, and that simple gesture carried more than Nate needed to know. It was a promise. A promise that those unrequited feelings he had had for years were finally being reciprocated.

___

The next morning, Jonah was woken up by the sunlight sliding through the blinds of his bedroom window. He took a glance at his alarm clock. 08:26. He was surprised Bo hadn’t woken him earlier to go on a walk, that’s when he realized that his door was closed and that he was still fully clothed.

He searched his memory of the previous night, but all he remembered was Nate and Adam coming back from their patrol as he was listening to Hallelujah.

He threw away the bedsheets and stumbled out of bed.

Upon opening the door, he had expected Bo to jump on him, but the dog was sitting quietly before the sofa, in between the tangled legs of his two boyfriends. Jonah stood in the doorway for a few minutes, capturing every detail of this endearing scene.

The two vampires were all snuggled up against each other and Nate, despite his height, seemed so small surrounded with Adam’s arms. His head was resting in the crook of his neck, while his left hand was holding tight onto Adam’s. It looked like Adam had tried to throw a blanket over Nate after he had fallen asleep, as it was barely covering them.

Knowing this kind of moment wouldn’t happen before a long while, Jonah grabbed his phone and captured the scene.

Softly, he planted a kiss on their forehead and crouched down, taking Bo who let out a little whining as he was taken away from the vampires.

“Come on Bo, it’s time to go on a walk” Jonah whispered. The dog lazily walked to the door after his owner had put him down and waited patiently for Jonah to put on his harness.

After he had found Bo’s leash, Jonah left a note on the fridge and closed the door on his two lovers, a fond smile plastered on his face.

#oc: jonah rafferty #adam x jonah x nate #nate sewell #adam du mortain #twc adam #twc nate #twc fanfic #the wayhaven chronicles #polyamory #ali's writing #y'all can ignore that i'm just reposting stuff from my other account

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luna--reading · 5 years ago

Text

[PICK A CARD] WHAT BLESSINGS ARE COMING IN FOR ME FOR THE COMING WEEK?

Hello lovelies~ ♡

This is a pick a card reading for “What blessings are coming in for me for the coming week?” This reading is timeless, and you’re meant to see it right now. Please do find peace if it doesn’t resonate with you~ ♡

So take a few minutes to mediate on these 4 piles:

Top row: 1(left), 2 (right)

Bottom row: 3(left), 4(right)

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1:

Tarot: Strength, 3 of Swords, The Lovers

Oracle: EXPERIMENTS (33) – Manipulation of nature, forcing change, cruelty in the pursuit of knowledge, arrogance / AIR (26) – Breathing deep, entering into life, exchange of life-bringing energies / CHAOS AND CONFLICT (33) / Divine Masculine (32) / POSSIBILITY – Raise your standards. Elevate your expectations. You have unlimited potential. / FREEDOM / Learn from Life / Epiphany – Seek clarity. / Owl – Follow your intuition. / Peacock – Raise your standards / NEW LOVE – A new person has stirred your romantic feelings.

To start off, I got a very strong romantic message for the most part of you, that’s why I pulled a Romance Angels card, but I’ll do it slightly at the back. So darling, I feel like you’ve been through some sort of heartbreak or hurt in the recent past. You could have been dealing with an arrogant partner, friend, boss, colleague, or simply anyone else but this person was rather manipulative. I’m sensing a very strong feeling of manipulating of the whole situation that might have created a lot of chaos in your life. I can see that you felt like while dealing with this situation, you’ve been trying to keep your life together but things just seem to be constantly falling apart.

But darling, here is the good news I see for you, I se you gathering back the strength this week. I really do, I see you slowly starting to see things clearly. You are starting to realise that the problem may not have entirely been on you and that you are gathering your courage to be stronger at dealing with this problem. It’s going to take some time but I really do see you getting back your power and facing this situation head on.

You are asked to take action proactively, if it’s a business project that you really want, take the chance. If it’s a relationship that you want to talk about, go ahead. Just don’t stay still, because the Universe wants you to know that there is unlimited potential in your situation, anything can happen as long as you try, so why don’t you just take that chance? I see that you have the chance to earn that freedom, if you felt like you’ve really been manipulated by someone, being controlled by someone (maybe not physically, it could be mentally, emotionally or even spiritually), you will break free from that control. And trust me, this is a life lesson for you to learn. The Universe wants you to trust in your own intuition, if there are certain red flags about a person, a situation, and you aren’t so sure if you want to follow through, listen to your own voice and you will find your answers.

Darling, you are someone worth anything that the Universe has in line for you, why settle for something lesser? Raise your expectations, raise your standards, never settle for anything lesser than what you deserve. And in releasing this negative energy, I do see something better for you, it could be a new partnership in business, new creative project ideas, even a new relationship. Whatever this is, it’s going to bring in so much harmony and balance into your life, it’s like I just see a very smooth-sailing partnership in your career and relationships as well.

So especially for those who feels that this could be talking about an ex, or someone that you are currently dealing with in love right now. Whether or not you are in a relationship/situation-ship/dealing with an ex, if you find the situation to be uncomfortable, you spot all kinds of red flags, you feel this person to be manipulative and controlling (just overall a very dark and negative energy to be honest), trust your own intuition and if you find yourself having to need to leave the situation, please do speak up, find someone to support you (it could be a neutral third party). Don’t allow yourself to stay in any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable and seek help and support if needed. Because I do see a new love coming in for you, this person will be so different from the person that you have left behind or is going to leave behind. This person can be your divine counterpart, a soulmate, someone that is going to be so supportive and loving for you.

So darling, if you’ve been through a heartbreak recently, or is currently going through, understand that love yourself first, raise your standards, there are endless possibilities in your future love life and I just see someone new coming in for you that might just be the one for you.

Pile 2:

Tarot: Ace of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, Queen of Swords

Oracle: AWARENESS – Live in the moment. Be conscious of your thoughts. Look for signs and guidance. / DIVINE SENSUALITY (22) – Making love, erotica. / OPPORTUNITY / THE TRIBE (8) / Archangel Raphael – Provider of Healing, Body and Spirit / CREATE SPACE (38) / NOURISH (23) / Seasonal Harvest / Inspiration and Courage / Release your Ex – The time has come to clear your energy. / This could be the one – You’ve already met the romantic partner you seek.

To start off, I got a very strong romantic message for the most part of you, that’s why I pulled a Romance Angels card, but I’ll do it slightly at the back. Okay, moving on, I see 2 different situations so I’ll state both.

Firstly, I see a new solid opportunity coming in for you. And darling, I strongly feel that this can come in all forms, it can be a new job offer, a new finance opportunity, a new relationship, a new business partner, anything. And you know, it’s almost as if this is a gift from the Universe. It’s almost as if telling me that you’ve been working on yourself, healing yourself, releasing all kinds of negative energy from your life, setting healthy boundaries, and this is the Universe’s way of telling you “dear, you’ve done it!”

You are asked to continue working on yourself because it’s soon time for you to harvest the seeds that you’ve planted. You’ve worked so hard on a particular project (it could be business, relationship, or even on yourself) that now is time for harvest. This will definitely give rise to a lot more opportunities in your life because as you release negative energy, you are only creating more space for positive energy to come into your life. Yet, you are also asked to take note of living in the present. It’s good to dream about the future that you want, but you are asked to work on it in the present and not only just dream about it. Because you can only get what you want through hard work (which actually, you’ve been doing it!) and I just see so much good things coming in for you.

For those who are asking about romance, I just see that there might be an offer to be make soon, and this person will come in to just sweep you off the feet (because he/she is just that romantic, loving partner). This person could be someone that you might have already meet, maybe he/she is a colleague, a friend, a neighbour, someone that you might have feelings for as well. And you are asked to speak the truth with this person, to create the strong bond first before you can truly start on this new journey. I just see heart-to-heart conversations coming in for you as well! So, darling, this can be someone unexpected as well, and if you aren’t interested in this person, please do speak the truth as well.

However, for the second group of you, if you find yourself still stuck in a situation, this is also the Universe telling you, that it’s time to release and let yourself out of this negativity and toxicity. Stop holding on to the things that no longer serve you and set those healthy boundaries that would aid you, that way, darling, is your start to a new beginning. And trust me, this new beginning is going to be so solid as it paves the way for stronger foundations in your future.

You are asked to find the courage to look within yourself when it comes to such situations. If you feel like you haven’t been able to let go of certain situations, you are asked to take things slowly. Healing doesn’t happen overnight and there’s no need for you to rush things because that will only create even more anxiety and it might backfire the whole healing process. It’s time to clear your energy, darling, you’ve been seeing signs about how you should let go of a situation, and trust me, the Universe, the angels are here to support you.

This is a great opportunity for you to clear out those negativities, set healthy boundaries and I just see new offer coming in for you soon. This offer is going to be solid, but it’s going to be something that you have been waiting for. It can be a career opportunity, a house offer, or even a relationship, whatever it is, this offer is the one that you want and it’s the offer that you’ve been waiting for. So darling, pluck up that courage to create space for more positivity in your life. You don’t need all of these negativities anymore, it’s time to let go!

Pile 3:

Tarot: 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, 3 of Wands

Oracle: HEALING (5) / MIRACLES – Have faith that your miracle is on its way. Your prayers have been answered. Surrender the “how”. / IMRAMMA – Wonder voyage, crossing deep waters, pilgrimage, journey of the soul. / TRUTH / MILK AND HONEY (51) / Memories – Cherish memories of loved ones. / Speak your mind.

Darling, I see that you have been healing. I love how the first 2 piles also have that sense of releasing of negative energy and stuff but for this pile, I feel like you’ve been through a healing process (and if you felt like you haven’t, maybe you can pick some other piles) because I strongly feel a sense of already healed and ready to start on a new journey. You are all set and ready to move ahead and take on new challenges and new journey.

I see that you’ve been trying to manifest something new into your life. This can be anything, but this is something that you have very strong passion for, it’s something that you are willing to work hard and cooperate with others for. This is something that you’ve always wanted and darling, the Universe wants you to know that it is coming. As you’ve healed, you’ve been manifesting this at the same time, and it’s already on its way. Let’s just wait a while more!

You are also asked to speak up to the Universe about what you really want, if you felt like you’ve been unclear about something in the past. Or this can mean that you are asked to speak the truth about how you feel to the people around you. You are already in your own power, you’ve already set those healthy boundaries, if you don’t like something, speak it out, you don’t have to give in to make yourself uncomfortable. But darling, I see in the week to come, you are going to create a lot of good memories with the people around you. I just see you having fun in the week to come to be honest.

And darling, I just see you being so balanced in life right now, you have everything under control, and you are going to enjoy the week to come, really, just have faith that your miracles are on its way! Hang in there!

Pile 4:

Tarot: 7 of Pentacles, The World, The Moon

Oracle: Imagine and Envision / Transformation and Change / MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE (15) / PATIENCE / SOUL JOURNEY (9) / MAGIC – Make a wish. Believe in miracles. Magic surrounds you. / INTUITION – Trust your intuition. / TRANSPARENCY (2) – Honest, authentic, genuine, present

Darling, I see that you are being bored about waiting for something to happen. This can be about a job, a financial opportunity, a relationship, or just any situation. You’ve been laying the foundations, planting the seeds and waiting for it to come and you are getting bored about it. And I get it, it’s almost as if you’ve really done all the work, and you’re waiting for a reply from the Universe. But darling, I see that in this week to come, you are asked to have a bit more patience.

But at the same time, it’s not all just about waiting and not doing anything. Why not try out something new as you wait for the seeds to grow, or work on something else as you wait for the Universe’s reply. The Universe wants you to know that now it’s not the time. And in a way, I feel like you kind of feel it as well. Your intuition has been directing you to a new direction (even if it’s just for the time being) but you are being slightly stubborn about it. You’ve put in so much effort for this to grow out, so why can’t the Universe just reward you?

Well, darling, this is done under the Universe’s protection. If something isn’t happening right now, it’s a way of how the Universe is going to protect you. So, as you transform yourself, change your thought patterns and start on something new, start on others, you will soon to find that maybe you didn’t want the outcome as much as you thought you wanted. Or as you move on to shift your energy to something else, you start to see so much other possibilities that can happen without the particular outcome. Or maybe, as you start to work more on yourself, on other things, that’s when the Universe can work behind the scenes to bring in a better outcome for you for that particular thing you’ve been waiting on.

And trust me, darling, I just see good news coming in for you. There’s going to be a completion but you’ve got to not be so fixated on a particular outcome, a particular situation. Trust in the Universe, and have patience. The Universe is working behind the scenes for you, so please understand the path that the Universe has paved out for you, focus on other things first and you’ll start to see things transforming and changing in your favour!

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