#the fact they both dated him is hilarious to me for some reason idk

[nikatyler]

I love the dynamic between my three main vampires and one of them isn't even in the main story

[cattlemons]

Third Fifth Time's A Charm

| You and Megumi have been dating for quite some time now. Almost half a year, give or take. Upsettingly enough, he has yet to say his ‘I love you's. This bugs him a bit too much so Megumi is now a man on a mission and that mission just so happens to be about confessing his love to you. Basically the four times Megumi almost dropped the “L” word and the one time that he did. I mean come on, fifth time’s a charm, right?

TW: None, I think? I wrote it with college!au in mind but can be read as just a normal jujutsu kaisen fic Just fluff after posting angst, megumi gets chased by a duck? idk what counts as a tw pls let me know if I should add anything, also actual big boy writing cus word count is 3k.

---

Crumbs, ducks and hold on a minute... 

It was around October when the leaves were finally falling and the air was brisk. Megumi had decided to take you out for a mini-date before finals week whisks the both of you away, each secluded in their own world of ink and paper. 

It had honestly gone mostly ok and as planned. The usual schtick, really. Compliment your pretty outfit, exchange loving banters on the way there, get to the park and enjoy your time together. Simple and easy, right? 

Wrong. 

Megumi and you had just finished eating the sandwiches he’s prepared for the picnic. They were wrapped so neatly in pink patterned paper that you can’t help but swoon at the time and effort it must’ve taken for him to prepare it all. 

Megumi took to the toilet a bit after that, or, he planned to. What he didn’t see coming is the fact that ducks started chasing him around right as he walked past the pond. You soon learned that they were chasing him because of the bread crumbs falling off of his jeans. 

After a few bouts of running on Megumi’s part (and giggles from yours), the ducks finally stopped following him. Opting to squawk at the couple on the other side of the pond that’s actually trying to feed them crumbs and seeds. 

Megumi soon found relief as he sat back down beside you still huffing and puffing from the unexpected marathon he ran. Of course, you being the compassionate girlfriend that you are, did not let him off easy. At least, not without teasing him a bit. 

“You know those ducks have really good taste in men,” you quipped. A few beats of silence pass before the two of you erupt into a fit of laughter. 

You were nearly in tears as you continued to giggle uncontrollably at the mental image of Megumi getting chased and flirted with by ducks. Though you probably won't find your laughing any special, Megumi found it absolutely breathtaking. 

From the way your eyes brighten at the hilarious image to the sound of your held-in guffaws, Megumi just can’t get enough of it. He wants to hear it over and over again. He absolutely loves it. 

And he absolutely loves you.

Wait, huh?

Watson, how do you say “I love you”?

“Finally! No more stuffy libraries and definitely no more books! I’m so happy it’s over,” you yelled as you stretched out your tired back. 

Finals are over and you can now rest without worrying. However, it’s a whole other story for Megumi. He is still stressed out of his mind but not because of the reason you might think. No, he is stressed because he has yet confessed the feelings hidden deep in the recesses of his heart.

I love you. 

Who knew such simple words could drive one mad. Megumi never would’ve thought the stress his feelings would bring could trump the amount of stress an exam would bring but he supposes that he can only be so many times. 

Megumi has decided that maybe he should tell you the three words that have been plaguing his mind. So a few days after some much-needed rest, Megumi proposes a little trip to the art museum. Who were you to refuse such a sweet request?

Dressed in his most academic-looking attire, Megumi readies himself for his little confession, going so far as to script it. 

Yes, today he will confess!

Today he did not confess.

It really was the perfect moment. Megumi feels absolutely horrible for letting such perfect timing pass him by but nothing could be done about it now. 

The perfect timing came by when you were nearing the end of the date. It was a really fun date, possibly one of the best ones so far! Megumi had shown you around the museum, giving fun tidbits of information on each art he sees. You were about to point out how knowledgeable your boyfriend was before it finally clicked. 

“Ah! My dear Watson, I think I’ve solved the mystery. It turns out the Duke of Information, Megumi Noritoshi, has done ample research before this date! Proof in the pudding, Watson, look at his palms,” you teased as you took his hands into yours and pushed back his sweater sleeves to see smeared notes on his earlier “fun facts”.

Megumi’s face turned pink as he flushed at your exposing of his secret. Muttering a small, “Blimey, I’ve been caught!” in response to your little skit. 

Seeing him blush and flustered has you grinning (not that anyone could blame you, it really is a cute sight). Taking your chance, you decide to tease him a bit more. Opting for light nudges of your elbow and soft kisses all over his face. This, of course, did nothing to ease the red spilling all over his cheeks. If anything it painted more colors on his face. 

Once the teasing died down, you decided to maybe be a bit more heartfelt. After all, he did prepare for your date and put in so much effort to learn these facts and information. 

“I might not say this enough but I absolutely appreciate you putting this much effort into our dates… maybe I have not been vocal enough  about these things but I hope you know I really do appreciate you doing this and… I love you,” you mumbled a tad bit quieter than you usually would. You’re even caught sporting a light blush of your own despite you trying your best to keep a nonchalant front. This isn’t your first time telling him you love him but, still, being so heartfelt like this has you blushing.

Megumi smiled at his usually unbothered girlfriend being so, well, bothered. 

Wrapping his hands around your waist, he goes to give you a small peck on the crown of your head before leaning in a bit more to whisper his confession. 

I love you!

Yet the words did not seem to tumble out. Although a bit disappointed in his lack of confidence, Megumi recovered quickly and instead leaned in for a sweet kiss. 

I wonder if fishes have confessions too?

“Megumi look! They’re so pretty,” you exclaimed excitedly as you pointed at a jellyfish swimming past. Megumi nods in agreement though he is honestly paying more attention to you than the exhibit.

Megumi has taken it upon himself to set up another good date  to confess on. Truth be told, he’s had far too many nightmare-ish thoughts about his recent failures in confessing and how he’ll never be able to say it. So, to take action, Megumi decides to take you on another date. This time he decided that maybe visiting an aquarium would be fun!

He is sorely mistaken, unfortunately.

As you continue to walk through the exhibit, you fail to notice Megumi lagging a bit behind you in the aquarium tunnel. Your attention was so fixated by the fishes swimming over your head and on each of your sides, that you missed the sight of your boyfriend darkly muttering (and struggling) on his confession script. 

Or so he thought...

“Honestly, why can’t I just be a fish-”

“Why would you want to be a fish though?” you asked as you leaned in towards him. 

Megumi’s eyes widen in surprise at your sudden intrusion. Megumi supposes that he’s been too lost to the world. He shook his head and just muttered a quiet “never mind”. 

The day continued as you enjoyed your day. You feast your eyes on magnificent sea creatures both great and small; you can’t help but awe at them as a child would. Not that Megumi minded, he thinks you look absolutely adorable when you coo at the sharks or clap at the seals when they would do a trick. However, Megumi couldn’t say he’s enjoying today as much because he continued to struggle with his little confession script, either chickening out at the last minute or completely missing the perfect timing. 

By the end of the day, Megumi decided enough is enough. Under the dim lights of the empty “deep sea” sector of the zoo, Megumi closed his eyes and steeled himself. Summoning every bit of courage he had within him, he blurted out his confession. It was a bit aggressive and loud, perhaps even a bit rushed. 

But he did it-

-not.

Megumi opened his eyes, to be greeted not by your soft smile. It wasn’t even your frown. Instead, he was greeted by a fish staring directly at him through the aquarium glass. It seems to be mocking him, almost. And as for you, you were already at the other side of the area, lining up to pay for a souvenir that caught your eyes. 

Ugh, why can’t he just be a fish and blow bubbles at you to show his love? 

Wine is a  poetic mood-setter, right?

Although tired and defeated by his numerous failed attempts, Megumi is not one to give up. This is especially true when it comes to you. So, if one plan fails then best be known he is already running back to the drawing board to come up with a new one.

This time around Megumi decided to pull up on all the stops. Sparing no expense, he reserved a table at one of the city’s most high-end restaurants. I mean what could be more romantic than a late-night wine-and-dine?

To Megumi it’s not the pricey menus that are troubling, nor is it the number of strings he had to pull to get the reservation. Nope. What’s troubling him is the confession he is secretly building up to. You see, it’s been a good handful of months since Megumi came to the realization that he absolutely adores you. 

He loves you.

Yet, somehow, saying it out loud is a whole different league than thinking and coming to terms with it. Something about admitting it and posing vulnerable seems so jarring to him. Of course, you’ve never given him any reason to fear being honest with you. He supposes that if anything were to cause him to be this certain way, then it’s probably the lack of touchy-feely emotions in his childhood. That aside, Megumi is still as determined as ever to tell you that he loves you. This brings us to the current situation. 

Megumi is seated opposite of you, decked in his slickest suit and tie. You had admitted that he looks ridiculously good in his outfit before the dinner (he blushes at the comment). Naturally, you were also in a rather stunning number yourself, with the scandalous-looking outfit only you could possibly pull off. 

As much as Megumi would love to just admire you and enjoy the amazing atmosphere, he has other things currently occupying his head. At first glance, you might’ve thought that he was flustered by your choice of outfit for the night if you didn’t know any better. This is, of course, one of the reasons why Megumi was a bit dazed but sadly that’s not the only reason why. 

You didn’t really connect the dots right away. There are a bunch of little crumbs and pieces that could’ve contributed to Megumi’s flustered and jumpy attitude in this particular evening but nothing defining. 

The evening progressed and more telltale signs showed themselves to you. You could honestly write a meter-long list but to keep it concise, the things you have noticed include Megumi’s inability to look you directly in the eye, the rather incessant twiddling of his thumbs, the stutter that accompanied his usually leveled voice, and finally (and the most telling) is his avoidance of the word “love”. 

Of course, it could all be a coincidence but you think not. Although you didn’t do much to garner his “suspicion”, you’re not daft nor were you ignorant. You knew of his struggles in dropping a particular “L” word. You had honestly known for a while. It’s not that you were a psychic or anything of that sort, it was actually because Megumi had not been the most secretive of his plans. You suppose he intended for it to be a “hush-hush” plan but unfortunately for Megumi, he had a tendency to think out loud when stressed. 

Though you were originally planning to let Megumi off the hook and let him figure things out on his own, you decided that leaving him to wallow on his own is doing more harm than good. So when Megumi choked rather aggressively at his pasta when you said the word “love”, you chose to bring up the topic. 

“So, when are you gonna tell me what’s been cooking up in that head of yours… hmm?”

Megumi’s eyes widened at the question you’ve just asked, though it seems more like a prompt than a question. Megumi looked down to his lap for a second before facing you again, this time sporting an embarrassed flush on his cheeks. 

Megumi struggled to confess before letting out a defeated sigh and a small apology. This caused you to shake your head, not in a dismissive way but in a way to tell him that there’s nothing to be sorry for. 

“Megumi, I know you know I know so I’ll just say it outright,” you huffed before continuing, “I love you’s aren’t something you can or should force out. I’ve said it to you on countless accounts because it comes naturally to me, love. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel cornered into saying it but please know that I don’t mind you taking your time, ok?”

Your little speech was met with a relieved sigh and soon followed by a laugh. You look up to see Megumi’s genuine grin in place, you can’t help but smile at the endearing sight. 

“Ahh, I should’ve known not to stress over these kinds of things when it’s with you, huh? Thanks. I’ll definitely take my time with it.” 

You nodded in agreement at his newfound determination. As much as you wanted to hear those three words tumble out of his lips and uttered to you, you knew better than to rush him into it. And besides, hearing it in full sincerity will definitely be better than hearing a rushed one. With all that said, you and Megumi enjoyed the rest of the evening with wine glasses raised and the air filled with happy chatters and laughs. 

And I thought it was difficult, huh?

A streak of light shone through the gaps in the curtains, making it known to you that it is time to get up already. Or, at least, it would be time to get up had it been a weekday. Thankfully, however, it is the weekend so you can take your time in getting up. While your boyfriend slept soundly beside you, his hand draped loosely over your figure, you can’t help but admire his features. As you did so, thoughts on what happened a while back popped into your head. 

 It’s been a few months since your last dinner date with Megumi and things have calmed down quite a bit. Although Megumi still feels a twinge of guilt from his lack of response whenever you whisper an “I love you”, he does remember your take on this situation, and those few words you spared have done immense work in calming him down. 

As you continue to reminisce on the events that have transpired in the last few months, you failed to notice Megumi stirring awake beside you. You only notice that he’s awake when he’s poking your cheek, asking, no, demanding petulantly for his morning kisses. 

Deciding to tease him a bit while he’s still in his morning daze, you uttered, “Sorry, love. Morning breath.” You went as far as sniffing at his general direction and fanning your hands over your nose and scrunched your nose up in fake disgust. 

Still in a sleepy stupor, Megumi pouts at you and goes to get out of bed. You decide to let your curiosity win and end up following your boyfriend to the bathroom, the cold linoleum tiles doing wonders in waking the two of you up immediately. 

Though he is now much more awake now than a few minutes ago, it didn’t dampen his pout one bit. With the handle of his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, Megumi babbled on about how his day is now ruined because you wouldn’t let him start it off with a kiss. You only giggled in response, your own toothbrush poking out of your lips. 

Being the menace that you are, you decided to playfully smear Megumi’s face with some toothpaste foam. One thing led to another and soon you two are on the bathroom floor laughing aloud. Somehow his laugh and expressions egged yours on and yours did his which caused a new bout of laughter to erupt every time you’d both fall silent. It went on like this for quite some time but neither of you minded it one bit.  

Now that the laughter has died down a bit, you both exchanged mini banters here and there, still seated on the floor with both your shoulders touching; with toothpaste in your hair and on his cheek. As you giggled at a particular joke Megumi muttered, he felt that odd feeling in his heart again, just like the time in the park and all those other dates he stressed over but this time, before he could stop it, he whispered…

“I love you.”

Your laughter immediately ceased only to be replaced by the happiest grin you’ve ever mustered. With new buzzing energy coursing through you, you tackled Megumi into a hug which effectively knocked the two of you down to the ground but neither you nor Megumi minded.

With his newfound confidence, Megumi repeated the foreign sentence over and over again as if he’s testing it out. He finds that he likes saying it. 

He likes it because your smile widens a bit more when he says it. 

He likes it because you’d give him kisses whenever he says it.

And he absolutely loves it because you’d always say it back to him.

With a wobbly and lovesick grin, Megumi says it one more time for good measure. 

“I love you.” 

a.n. I did not really proofread this bcs I had classes today and it KO'd me :"(

Hope you liked it!

[fabuloustrash05]

rank the canon love interests for each turtle, gO (i can't remember if you have already lol)

*cracks knuckles* It’s time for a lightening round of ship ranking!

Disclaimer: I’m rating these girls based on their romantic relationships with the Turtle that crushed on them/had a relationship with. This is NOT a ranking of their individual characters.

Leonardo

Unnamed Women/Yumi’s Mother (Mirage)

2/10

She was just a figment of Leo’s imagination so does she even count?

They have a daughter together which is nice, but also HOW DID THAT WORK??

Raven Shadowheart (Mirage)

7/10

Seems like a good ship

F in the chat for Leo, even when he has a GOOD relationship it can’t last long.

Lotus Blossom (1987)

10/10

The overall BEST Leo love interest.

The fact she gave him a flower to remember her by <3

Lotus deserves to make a comeback!

Can’t believe Nickelodeon chose INCEST over her!!

Karai (2012)

-1000000000000000000000000/10

WHY DID THEY HAVE LEO PULL A LUKE SKYWALKER?!

Koya (IDW)

2/10

I can definitely see the appeal and aesthetically they look good together but the CONTEXT of their relationship is BAD.

LEO IS THE REASON SHE IS DISABLED!!

Lita confirms they get together in the future, but WHY?? They have no romantic chemistry or hints that they like each other romantically. Maybe SHOW us instead of TELLING us!!

Toxic 95% of the time

April (Mutant Mayhem)

7/10

I usually heavily dislike April x Turtle ships, but I can’t deny that they were cute.

Leo’s moment of falling for her was actually kinda cute and funny.

His crush on her is not shoved down our throats like OTHER April x Turtle ships *cough* 2012 Apritello *cough*

I like that they went  to prom together <3

But again, I don’t think April should be shipped with any of the Turtles and I don’t see this ship lasting in the long term…

Seems like it’s a one sided crush like Dipper and Wendy from Gravity Falls, so I’m not convinced this will last in the upcoming show/sequel

Raphael

Ninjara (Archie Comics)

2/10

They’re cute but it’s not a really interesting ship

It looks too much like a cheap OC x Canon pairing

Mezcaal (Archie Comics)

7/10

The first and only time one of our Turtles boys have been married, congrats Raph!

A badass married couple

I hope her and Raph are forever happy together running that bar

Mona Lisa (1987)

10/10

Iconic!

Her kissing Raph then calling him “doll” is so cute!

She IS the ideal Raphael love interest. Her and this ship truly left a major impact on the fandom.

She is the go to Raph love interest people think of in any iteration (2003, Rise & MM fans all wanted and made their own version of her in the show)

Joi (2003)

1/10

Meh…

Idk if she counts but I added her cause some people shipped them

She is Raph’s only human "love interest" and it doesn’t feel right to me. 

Out of all the Turtles, Raph being with a human feels weird, the other Turtles I’m fine with being with humans. Raph has always been known to date non human characters so this ship doesn’t look/sit right to me, and doesn’t feel like a relationship that would go anywhere.

Alopex (IDW)

2.5/10

I just don’t like it

I guess it’s because I was introduced to Alopex in the 2012 series where in that she’s a 30 year old woman and Raph is a teenager, so this relationship feels weird to me.

Kinda toxic at times tbh but still cute when they need to be (which is rare)

She’s 17 and Raph is 20… But that was apparently “retconned” so Idk what to think

Y’gythgba/Mona Lisa (2012)

10000000000000000000000000000000000/10

THE BEST LOVE INTEREST AND SHIP IN THE ENTIRE SHOW!!

The ONLY GOOD and HEALTHY relationship in the show!

“What a woman…” ICONIC!!

Raph was loyal and Mona was devoted to him!

He falls for her because she punched him in the face. That is both hilarious and very in character for Raph XD

She’s as much in love with him as he is with her!

Badass warrior power couple!

Short King x Girlboss

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!

Donatello

Jhanna (2003)

3/10

Another “Meh” ship to me.

Similar to Joi, does she even count?? Apparently she does to some people and its a ship for 03 fans.

Fan versions of her and this ship from different interactions (1987 & Rise) are more interesting than the actual canon version of them in 03 tbh

I guess I’m just not convinced of this ship and I don’t like how they look together. It’s hard to explain.

April (2012)

4/10

Could’ve worked with a cute “friends to lovers” story but the writers ruined it.

Kinda cute in season 1, got worse after that. Season 5 was them at their best but that’s only because it wasn’t shoved down our throats by that point.

The love triangle brought out the worst in them (and Casey).

I like them better as best friends.

Hottake: Donnie was more of the problem than April.

Like I said in Leo’s ranking, April should NOT be a love interest for any of the Turtles.

Big Foot (2012)

-1/10

Why did this happen??

Batgirl (Batman Crossover Comic)

2/10

Got a thing for redheads, huh Don?

Not a huge fan of big crossover shipping like this, but his crush on her was cute so I’ll admit that. 

It was sweet she gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving. So good for you Don!

Mona Lisa (IDW)

0/10

JUSTICE FOR RAPH X MONA LISA!!

Obviously not my cup of tea.

The Nerd x Nerd trope… wow, so original…

She’s a bitch to him at times and invalidates his trauma. 

I really thought her and Jennika were gonna be a thing (which I would’ve preferred more tbh), so her with Donnie as a massive disappointing surprise and feels so forced.

Michelangelo

Princess Seri (Mirage)

2/10

Tragic. She betrayed him. That bitch.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR BABIES??

Also… MIKEY FUCKS??!

Kala (1987)

9/10

UNDERRATED SHIP!!

Two party loving teens who just wanna skate and have fun!

They keep pictures of each other as mementoes. THAT’S ADORABLE!!

Much like Leo x Lotus, we need this ship to make a comeback.

Buffy (1987)

0/10

FUCK THAT BITCH!! SHE TREATED HIM LIKE TRASH!!

Sara Hill (Image Comics)

4.5/10

I’m a sucker for the Turtles dating alien lizard woman.

I like the “friends with benefits” relationship they have. Feels like a Mikey thing he would do regarding his love life. 

I love how they bonded over their love of cartoons. Very cute.

She left him for another man though… WTF SARA?!?! YOU BROKE MIKEY’S AND MORE IMPORTANTLY MY HEART!!

Mitsu (TMNT III)

1/10

Bland and boring (Just like the movie!)

Princess Trib (IDW)

5/10

RESPECT TO MIKEY GETTING ALL THE PRINCESSES!! AND THE NEUTRINOS TOO??

Cute, but in the end I prefer him with Kala.

They are the only good Turtle ship (not counting Jennika and her girlfriend Sheena). But that ain’t saying much from me cause they’re still bland at times with little to go with.

How are they one of the better ships in IDW yet they are the most bland and uninteresting couple??

Renet (2012)

9/10

Very adorable!!

Works well romantically and platonically.

They’re both goofballs who are misunderstood by their peers.

Would be a 10 but Mikey was unfaithful...

Renet confirms they have some kind of future together.

I personally can’t see them staying together in the future, maybe having a friends with benefits relationship like him and Sara.

Shinigami (2012)

1/10

I like their dynamic, but not as a romantic one.

“Someone will die…” “OF FUN!” vibes.

Shini is obviously a lesbian and is dating Karai so…

Headcanon: They have playdates with their cats.

April (Bayverse)

0/10

WHAT DID I LITERALLY SAY IN LEO AND DONNIE’S RANKINGS??!!

The one Mikey crush that literally gives me the ick. I don’t like it.

C R I N G E

MIKEY SWEETIE SHE’S A FULL GROWN ADULT!! YOU ARE A CHILD!!

[sapphire-weapon]

Which topic amuses you the most? (I don't know if amusement is the right word just pick)

-Jill Sandwich

-Leon can't drive

-Leon's parents were affiliated with the Italian mafia

-OG Ashley and Mia Winters hate

-Ship wars

-Wesker being a fucking whore

-Alcina Dimitrescu strangling the internet

-Leon killing Ben Bertolucci with nothing but his goody-two-shoes "erm actually I need to speak to chief irons-"

-Krauser and Wesker both keeping a pic of their young coworkers

-Ada, her "love triangle" consisting of Simmons and Leon, and her playing Perfect Blue with Carla

-Chris and Wesker's bromance

-"NOO AHSLEYS A KID" "NOOO THEYRE SIBLIMGS" (like dude come on she's 20-)

-The "Are you staying to back me up?" (Why does that scene feel so fuzzy to me? Like I can't explain the emotion idk Adas just cute in that scene)

-Chris, Leon and "PLS MARRY MY SISTER-"

-Excella being the biggest Wesker simp

-"Seems like this isn't your first time running from creeps" (Six years of torture caused this man's rizz to drop like holy shit-)

-some aeon shippers being annoying

-getting mass amounts of hate for having an opinion (when you talked about "leshley" in your own blog)

-"Omg Ada and Leon kissed in re2" "omg they fuck in damnation" "omg they 'fight' in re4" "omg he saves her in re6"-

-Deborah Harper....(what even happened with her?)

-Simmons simping for Ada so much he makes a clone of her

-Leon asking Hunnigan out for a date

-That one Leon x merchant vid (If you don't know then I'll try and show you uh)

-Picking fights with a bioweapon baby (Eveline)

-Og Leon being a whore

SOME OF THESE ARE REALLY STRONG

-Wesker being a fucking whore -Krauser and Wesker both keeping a pic of their young coworkers -"Seems like this isn't your first time running from creeps" (Six years of torture caused this man's rizz to drop like holy shit-) -getting mass amounts of hate for having an opinion (when you talked about "leshley" in your own blog) -Leon asking Hunnigan out for a date -Og Leon being a whore

all of these ^^^^ are very strong

like

wesker being a whore is funny because it grosses so many people out, and also he's the most hilariously evil man on the planet, so the thought of him just dragging his dick around is funny.

krauser and wesker keeping a pic of their young subordinates is funny because it is so. goddamn. pathetic. like with wesker it's funny because it's just more evidence of him being a sex fiend, which, like. see above. and with krauser it's funny because he's this huge, imposing, terrifying man, but with the photo it's like "u gonna cry? baby gonna cry? maybe just ask him out already you fucking sad sack of shit."

leon having no rizz is funny because so many fans want to fuck him, so the fact that he can't actually pull off being charming in-universe is just. delicious irony.

the mass amount of hate is funny because... a long story, but like the tl;dr is that there's nothing that anyone in this fandom can do to me that will be worse than that stalker i had who was jealous and butthurt that i was rping leon for a friend's ada, and they carried that hateboner around and harassed me for ten fucking years, so like. if that didn't run me out of the fandom, nothing will.

and leon asking out hunnigan + og leon being a whore is funny for the same reason why it's funny that he has no rizz. i love watching that boy strike out. it brings me an immense amount of joy.

if i had to pick just one, though? probably the photos. i could shitpost about that for hours.

leon being a scrub is a close second, though.

[nehswritesstuffs]

Double-Date from Hell

Y’all ever think of something so hilarious that you HAVE to write it, and then it just spirals out of control? Yeah, this is it.

8941 words; I’ve seen versions of this general joke going around and it’s still pretty funny in my brain so please just humor me; I guess it’s a Modern AU w/No Devil Fruits, but Brook is still a skeleton and Minks and Fish-men exist… somehow…? idk; SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ALIVE IN THIS AU THAT SHOULDN’T BE but you know what this is my story too damn bad I mean it’s already set in a quasi-Midwest metro; this took me so long to write because I kept cracking the fck up and I’m sure you’ll be able to tell where

Double-Date from Hell; Law has a new girlfriend. Cora-san’s got a hot date. Nami’s shagging a doctor. Things might be easier if Bell-mère had mentioned to her daughters she’s actually bi before she reconnected with an old flame. [modern!AU, LawNa, Bellazón]

Shuffling into the kitchen, Law blearily went into the fridge and began to poke around almost absentmindedly, hunger the only reason as to why he was currently existing on the mortal plane. What had supposed to be a twelve-hour shift in Logue Town General’s emergency room—as a favor, no less!—had turned into a twenty thanks to the perfect storm of call-offs and reckless pieces of bullshit trying to copy a social media trend. It reminded him of why he never wanted to stay down in Emergency full-time—fuck… doing clinicals there had been bad enough…

“Oh, there’s the sleepy-head!” Law jumped at the sudden confirmation that his father was in the room as well. He took a container filled with leftover noodles and popped it in the microwave oven with a bit more aggression than was necessary. “Rough night?”

“I remember when social media was used to share pictures of cats with poorly-spelled captions and complain about the accuracy of the fantasy book-to-movie pipeline, not to show off doing handstands in dangerous places and getting high off lip balm.” He glanced at his father to see he was dressed rather nice—that was a risk, considering how clumsy the older man was—though most things were better than his current pajama-pants-no-shirt-tousled-bedhead-at-four-in-the-afternoon look. “Cora-san, you know what happens when you wear a tie.”

“I know, I know, but I need to look nice tonight. What do you think?”

“That you look like a man about to turn forty who can’t so much as wear a tie without catching it on something every five minutes.”

“Well, yeah, but the shirt’s nice, right?”

An extremely pale pink with a red heart pattern; the tie was black, though his trousers were white.

“It’s… you.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” The microwave oven beeped at Law and he took the container out to stir. “Probably won’t be back until late, if I’m back at all tonight, so don’t worry if I’m not in.”

Law stopped mid-stir and stared at Cora. “Why would you both be alright, but also not come home tonight?”

“What, you can’t tell?! Your old man’s got a hot date!”

The silence that fell over the kitchen was simply unbearable. Law did not currently have the reserve mana to process that the grinning goofball he referred to as his foster father—foster roommate, on particularly irritating days—had anything even close to a potential sexual encounter lined up. He put the noodles back in the microwave oven and turned it on again.

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know,” he grumbled. “You know I don’t care what you do—we’re both adults now.”

“Oh, come on… you aren’t even the least bit happy for me?”

“I can’t legally be happy until I get at least six cups of coffee and these noodles in me, then we’ll talk.”

“Fine, fine; spoilsport.” Cora sat at the table and pouted, watching his son put together some coffee. He knew he was tired when he brought a mug of it over, as well as the noodles still in the container he heated them up in. “It’s not like I’m an old man—can’t I take inspiration from the fact my son got himself a cute girlfriend?”

“You’ve never met her, so there’s nothing to get inspired from,” Law replied dully. He twirled some of the long pasta on his fork and scowled. “No, this is not an offer for you to meet her either. I want to make sure of this one before that happens.”

“You make it sound like I’m embarrassing.”

“You picked me up from school in clown makeup.”

“It wasn’t that bad…”

“Multiple times.”

“It kept things interesting.”

“Kids recovering from near-terminal illness don’t exactly enjoy being interesting.”

“The assholes that were scared of clowns never bothered you after that.”

“Okay, that I’ll give you.” Law shoved more pasta in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “You know, I think I’ll go out tonight too—bound to be something going on.”

“There you go,” Cora beamed. “Here we are: a couple of young stallions, ready to make the night theirs!”

“Never again say those words in that order again, by all that is good in this world.”

“Spoilsport,” Cora scowled. A devilish grin then flashed across his face. “We should double-date!”

That too was a resounding, firm no.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was the generally-accepted consensus that there was no party like a Straw Hat party.

They weren’t all rowdy affairs that got the cops called at two in the morning—they reserved those for when the on-duty officers were ones likely to just turn the music down and bring their own drinks—but it was always the collection of people who were there that boggled Law’s mind. He had only started attending such shindigs recently after a weird series of events led to him pulling the charismatic teen out of the bay and helping make sure he was still alive. Luffy had declared them friends and that he now had an obligation to hang out, which would have been a one-and-done thing if it wasn’t for the people he collected in the nearly-rural house hidden amongst trees and actual property.

The East Blue kendo and archery champions? A world-class chef? A teenaged medical prodigy? The preeminent Void Century historian turning academia on its head? One of the most sought-after mechanical engineers in the world who also moonlighted in architecture? A living rock music legend? The man that kept literally all the trains in the region running smoothly? That didn’t even get into the kid’s brothers, or people outside of his innermost circle…

…and it certainly didn’t get into Nami.

He had originally begun talking to the redhead after observing her at that first party he attended. She was very level-headed—especially compared to Luffy despite that not meaning much—and knew precisely the situation they had going. It was the modern equivalent of the Enlightenment salon, where people got together and exchanged ideas and made changes happen. It was a counterculture hotbed with significantly fewer hard drugs and way more bellyflop competitions between people who couldn’t swim in the backyard’s in-ground pool. It was the next generation figuring shit out, getting ready to usher in a new age. Except, not only did the weather-and-surveying whiz keep everything running, it was very easy to say that she was the brains of the entire operation, making Luffy’s natural charm work for something. The next thing he knew they were chatting amiably, then kissing, and—after a considerable blackout—woke up very naked in bed with her the next morning.

It was a little awkward as they put everything together after that. They both thought the other was older than they really were (he thought her only a couple years younger than him instead of the actual six, and she thought he was well into his thirties (to be fair, he did say he was an actual surgeon while flirting)), and there was the wolf whistles that came out of some of the other Straw Hats as they went down to breakfast, but they settled into something… comfortable after that. The “crew” generally accepted him and he found their antics… tolerable, he guessed, especially considering what putting up with them meant for his love life…

“Oi! Witch! We need you to stop sucking geriatric face for two minutes and rein in Luffy!”

Nami groaned into Law’s mouth in frustration before breaking the kiss to glare at Zoro from across the large, open-concept living room that thankfully only contained the main Straw Hats crew aside from the man beneath her. Law knew to not remove his hands from her waist and rear, else she get pressured into something more involved. “What happened to someone saying he could handle him?”

All she got in response was a one-eyed glare.

“If she’s not back in two minutes like you said, Roronoa-ya, I will make you regret that age comment,” Law warned, voice dripping in sarcasm. Zoro flipped him his middle finger, which he returned.

“Boys, behave,” Nami sighed as she left the room. Law took it as his opportunity to see if there was any food available yet, shuffling over to the kitchen island where Sanji was working. A mug of coffee was already waiting for him as he sat down and watched the blond at work.

“Thanks,” he muttered, drinking the coffee gratefully.

“Just keep her happy,” Sanji replied. He and Law were in a tenuous sort of agreement, both men recognizing they were from the same Blue from the moment they met. Neither of them talked about it much, but it was clear that they were both in the East because it was not the North, and that was all they needed.

“If not, then you know it won’t be from lack of effort on my end.”

“True. Oh, Nami-swan told me the other day you don’t eat bread. Is it a gluten thing, or…?”

“Nah—just don’t like it. I physically can eat it, but just haven’t wanted to for a while now.”

“Not since home?”

“Something like that.”

“Okay, good, because I remember you eating breaded things the last few times you were over, but I have a special coating I can use if it’s a gluten issue.”

“Nope—just a preference.” Law sipped his coffee and watched the other man work, his hands nimble as he prepped and cooked. It reminded him of himself at his own craft, in a way, mesmerizing him until he felt a pair of arms warp around his midsection from behind. “Luffy tamed?”

“For the time being,” Nami murmured in his ear. “He’s going to be a handful next week when his brothers are over.”

“Not entirely sure how you do it,” he admitted. “Then again, I don’t know how any of you do it.”

“Luff just has that magnetism, you know?” Sanji chuckled. “When we’re all together, it’s because he knows we need to be in order to move forward. It’s why we’ve even got old-timers with us, as you know.”

“Nami, your friends are childish.”

“People wonder why I don’t date boys,” she replied. “That would just set both parties up for disappointment.”

“How true your words are, Nami-swan,” Sanji crooned. “We are all but mere amateurs compared to your beauty and grace. The fact you decide to honor us with your presence is more than we deserve.”

Fuck… to be that idiotically horny again. Law tried to remember the last time he said anything as stupid as the heart-eyed cook and, to be honest, couldn’t remember anything of the like. Seas… was he really that old…? No, he decided… just… busy during those years. He would take busy… as though busy was having an impact on him now…

“Sanji-kun,” Nami said sweetly, “I’m going to bring Torao upstairs for a little discussion before dinner, if that’s alright with you.”

“As you wish, Nami-swa~a~n,” the blond swooned. He blew her a kiss as she winked and pulled Law onto his feet.

This place was so fucking weird.

Heading up the stairs, Law silently followed Nami as she led him through the house he was already strikingly familiar with. They slipped into her room and she locked the door behind them. Finally—peace and quiet.

“Don’t you think you were a little rough on Blackleg-ya?” he asked as she unbuttoned his shirt. “I only meant it as a joke…”

“Don’t you worry about Sanji-kun,” she hummed, pressing kisses along his neck and collarbone as her fingers went over his toned abdomen. She guided him down to his knees before sitting on the edge of the mattress. With his hat long-forgotten in the living room, she was able to gently card her fingers through his fluffy hair as he turned his attention to her legs. He gently massaged her calves with his expert hands, wandering up her thighs. He went under the hem of her skirt and his eyebrows rose at what he discovered.

“Nothing…?” he smirked. “Naughty.” He lifted her leg to hook her knee on his shoulder before slowly tracing a line of his own kisses down her inner thigh and towards her hot, wet core. Hiking her skirt a bit higher, she let her other leg fall a bit more to the side, opening up for him. He lapped at her experimentally, smiling smugly at the noise she made.

“Fuck me good, Law-kun,” she ordered. “Make him hear me scream.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was quarter past four in the morning before Law actually left the house at 1000 Sunny Road, dragging his ass into his car and wishing it was quieter as he pulled away. The only consolations to his pre-dawn walk of shame was that he slipped out when all the other Straw Hats sans Nami were asleep and that he could still taste his girlfriend the entire drive back. She had seen him out after some additional, varied rounds in her bedroom, kissing him through the open car window.

“Don’t be a stranger now,” she had smirked. Fuck… she had him on a leash and they both knew it. Her taste had almost faded by the time he pulled into the driveway at his dad’s. He killed the engine and leaned back against the seat—a few hours of sleep and he could be back into something of a normal rhythm for when he went on day shifts the following week. It was all he could do to haul himself out the car and into the house, blaming his exhaustion on the twenty hour ER shift from hell messing with him and not his girlfriend fucking his brains out.

As Law walked through the dimly-lit house, he heard a snore come from the living room. He took a peek and saw Cora-san laying on the floor again, having passed out after some sort of fall. Again. Law hefted the other man onto his shoulder and helped him up the stairs to the main bedroom, where he deposited him on the mattress with little fanfare.

Wait a second… were those bite marks…? He looked closer at the bit of Cora-san’s chest that was exposed—buttons undone while his tie hung loose around his neck—and sure as shit, there were bite marks and smeared lipstick on both his chest and neck. It was a burnt-orange, which was definitely not a color that was in the house, lending credence to the “hot date” theory as much as Law shuddered at the thought.

He left a container of salve on the nightstand and made sure the other man was at least fully on the bed before going to sleep himself—with any luck, he wouldn’t have to hear a thing about the date and they continue on with their lives in peace. The less he could think about his father and sex, the better things were going to be.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“So… this old man you’re fucking… he at least cute in some weird geriatric way?”

“Ugh, what has Usopp been telling you?” Nami groaned. Her sister Nojiko chuckled at her from across the table, drinking her tea smugly. One of her rare mornings home and she was already being grilled. It was too early for this shit. “I’m not fucking an old man. He is in his twenties, thank you.”

“Turning thirty next month, is he?”

“He is twenty-six, for your information. He just looks a little rough because he’s got tattoos and is already a surgeon. Med school, clinical rotations, and residency are all vampires.”

“Sounds fishy to me,” Nojiko frowned. “I can’t be worrying after both you and Bell-mère now.”

“Bell-mère is a lesbian who just started reconnecting with an old flame from her Marine days,” Nami reasoned. “The circumstances are completely different.”

“You keep telling yourself that, sis,” Nojiko teased. “I still have on great confidence that he’s older than dirt, and that’s despite the fact you hang out with a man so old he’s a skeleton.”

“I am going to kill Usopp!”

“It wasn’t Usopp…”

“Who the fuck are you talking to behind my back?!”

It was then that their adoptive mother shuffled into the room, still half-asleep from the looks of things.

“I was woken by the sound of mockery; show me the object of ridicule,” Bell-mère grunted. She looked at her daughters and knew instantly what was going on. “We calling out the Old Man Fucker for what she is?”

“BELL-MÈRE!”

“Honey, if you’re planning on becoming a young widow, then at least make sure he’s loaded first,” Bell-mère said, unfazed by her youngest’s ire. She poked her head in the refrigerator and frowned. “Nojiko, sweetie, did you get more milk?”

“Haven’t been to the store yet,” her elder daughter said idly. “Will take care of it on my way back from work.”

“Since we’re currently in the habit of wanting to know about each other’s love lives,” Nami growled through grit teeth, “how’s Cora? That was your date’s name from when you went out the other night, eh?”

“That tongue still knows its way around a clit, let me tell you,” Bell-mère grinned devilishly. Both her daughters grew pale at the admission and immediately excused themselves from the table, neither in the mood for the conversation to go from zero to a hundred in less than a sentence.

Fine—ask about details, then run away at the details. Bell-mère chomped on dry cereal and wondered how she got two prudes for daughters.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Please don’t embarrass me more than they already do,” Law warned. He had his three best friends piled into his sensible, bright yellow crossover—Polar Tang—in the middle of making the huge mistake of driving them to the Straw Hats’ lair on a Saturday morning. They were already on the freeway, headed from the city towards the outer suburbs.

“We get it, we get it: you’re in it for the tight-ass pussy,” Shachi scoffed from the back seat. Penguin hit his shoulder in jest.

“If he was in it for just pussy, he wouldn’t be bringing us to the weirdo, sus-as-fuck party house in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere he goes to get said pussy in,” the other backseat gremlin said, tone rather matter-of-fact. “We’re a nurse and a couple of techs—how would we be embarrassing to a surgeon?”

“By talking about pussy the entire time,” Bepo stated flatly. He looked at Law and saw his grip on the steering wheel was unusually clenched. “Do you want me to drive?”

“No… I just need to remember this conversation for the next time I get asked why those two don’t just bite the bullet and get full nursing degrees instead of being the most overqualified nursing techs in the East Blue.”

“This,” Shachi said, pointing at himself with the first two fingers on both hands, “being able to sign off on patient care-related shit, would be dangerous and you know it.”

“It’s best for everyone involved that we stay Bepo’s gofers, because that makes us available as your gofers, and if we suddenly have to worry about shit like responsibilities, then where would you be?”

“Able to have competence on all my shifts?” Law snarked.

While tuning out the indignant protests in the back seat, Law turned off the freeway and headed towards Foosha Township, where Sunny Road was located. It was generally a tranquil road, with clusters of houses now and then to breakup wooded areas and the occasional farm. The car was thankfully quiet as he turned down a wooded drive, with Penguin breaking the silence as the conspicuously large house came into view.

“Law? Is this Straw Hat kid, like, loaded?”

“I don’t ask, so you don’t ask,” Law sighed. He parked the car on the front lawn next to Franky’s turquoise muscle car and turned to fully glare at the hooligans in the backseat. “Strawhat-ya’s not fully legit, but I don’t think he’s technically breaking any laws, and the cops here like him for some reason, so don’t fuck it up.”

“I thought you said the kid’s nineteen,” Penguin frowned. “How are you not wholly-legit at nineteen?!”

“Like I said: don’t ask.” Law then unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the Tang, getting some cloth shopping bags and his backpack from the trunk before heading around to the back of the house. It was just Luffy and his brothers there, all three splashing about in the shallow end of the pool while wearing arm floaties and inner tubes.

“TORAO!” Luffy squealed in delight. He jumped out of the pool and ran towards the surgeon—floatation devices and all—who got a sopping wet hug whether he liked it or not. “I was hoping that you’d come over today! Ace and Sabo are here! And Auncle Iva’s coming later! Grunkle Rayleigh can’t though because Grauntie Shakky made him promise something, and…”

“Strawhat-ya, I want you to meet the friends I was telling you about,” Law said, turning so that Luffy could get a good look at them. “That’s Penguin and Shachi, they’re nursing techs on my floor, and Bepo there’s one of the floor and hospital’s best charge nurses. We’ve known each other for ages.”

“Any friend of Torao’s a friend of mine!” Luffy grinned. He wrapped the two techs in a noodly hug, making them gurgle. “Oh! Yeah! Ace! Sabo! Say hi to Torao and his friends!”

“Luff, you’re going to kill them with affection,” Ace smirked.

“Yeah,” Sabo agreed with a laugh. “I don’t think we have enough space to bury more bodies in the backyard.”

“Please tell me that was a joke,” Shachi squeaked.

Law opted to not respond to that and instead left Penguin and Shachi in Luffy’s clutches while he and Bepo brought the bags in. Sanji was already in the kitchen prepping, while Usopp, Franky, and Brook played a racing game on the television.

“Did you get the goods?” the chef asked, pointing at Law with a knife. Law put one of the bags down and pulled out a bag of white powder covered in Wanolese script, which he threw at the man.

“I feel like I just watched a drug deal,” Bepo deadpanned.

“Even better than drugs,” Sanji claimed. “I don’t use a lot of it, but I’m practicing dishes from Wano for whenever it is Luff makes good on his threat to temporarily kidnap the consul’s son again.”

“Say the word ‘borrow’; it’s less incriminating,” Usopp shouted from the living room, not even taking his eyes off the game once.

“It’s just MSG,” Law shrugged.

“Yeah, but the good shit,” Sanji emphasized. He helped Law and Bepo unpack the rest of the bags and put everything away—odds and ends that weren’t of much consequence, but would be dangerous if missing later. “Nami-swan’s with Robin-chan picking Chopper up from school, by the way. They won’t be in until after lunch.”

That made Law’s eyebrows raise. “Sakura U is in Drum County. Four hours just driving round-trip.”

“Yeah, I know; I helped move the kid in freshman year.”

“Nami never volunteers to go get Chopper… unless…”

“Sounds like her mom’s getting some speecy-spicy dating action this week and she doesn’t want to hear about it,” Franky laughed. “I give the woman credit; she’s super feisty.”

“My dad just started dating again too—I get it,” Law said. “There are just some things you don’t want to hear… or learn… or think about…”

“If my old geezer started dating again, I’d die,” Sanji admitted with a shudder.

“Saaaame,” Usopp chimed in. The race ended and the teen groaned. “Brook! You are literally older than video games themselves! How did you beat me?!”

“I guess I’m a gamer down to my bones… which is all of me!” Brook cackled. “Law’s friend! Would you like to join us for the next round?”

“Uh… sure…” Bepo said warily. He sat down next to Usopp and accepted the fourth controller. “Are there any bear characters?”

As Usopp explained the game mechanics to Bepo, Law took his backpack up to Nami’s room and began to set himself up for later that night. He took care of the shit like condoms and lube because he wasn’t a goddamned barbarian and didn’t want his girlfriend to get worried if in the chaos of everything she forgot her medication for a couple days. It was just part of being a responsible adult and not some skeezebag looking to fuck how he wanted and whom he wanted without thinking about repercussions. The thought of a physical consequence crossed his mind as he shut the nightstand drawer and shuddered—Cora-san as a grandfather of all things would be something he’d need more than a few months to brace for.

“Law, there you are, holy shit.” He looked over his shoulder to see Penguin and Shachi both standing there, looking precisely the amount of moist that would be appropriate if they had been dragged into the pool against their will. Not only that, but they appeared to be absolutely flabbergasted by the entire situation they found themselves in. “That’s the second-in-command of the Revolutionary Army in the pool… the national-level political party, not state-level!”

“I know, Penguin.”

“…and the other’s one of the lieutenants of the Moby City mayor!”

“I know, Shachi.”

“…and apparently the host of Impel Drag Race is ‘popping by’ later?!”

“…and the straw-hat kid’s referring to the former state lieutenant governor as his grunkle?!”

“…and the one in the kitchen you had us go to six specialty import stores for is sous chef and heir to the Baratie?!”

“…and apparently your girlfriend is currently on a fetch quest to haul over here one of the few who can out-prodigy you when it comes to medicine?!”

“…a kid, may I remind you, whose grandparents are part of the reason why we even have world-class medicine in Greater Logue Town, let alone the state?!”

“…and Bepo’s getting his ass handed to him in video games by the Soul King himself…?!”

“I get it: we stick out the least despite the fact you two hold multiple state-level swimming records each, I’m the youngest surgeon in all departments at Logue Town General by at least a decade, and Bepo’s a bear,” Law reminded them casually. “To consider this as anything close to a normal party house is sort of a disgrace to the very concept of a party house.”

“This place is batshit,” Penguin stated. “It also might break physics because it feels like it’s bigger on the inside.”

“That’s your crisis to work through, not mine,” Law said. He reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out two single wrapped condoms, throwing them at his friends. “Be careful; if Hancock-ya shows up tonight, she’s going to bring the whole team, and I know how strong of a will you two have in front of a pretty face and thick thighs.”

“Wait, what…?” Shachi gaped. Law shrugged.

“The captain of the Amazon Lily roller derby team out of Kuja has a weird crush on Strawhat-ya that he doesn’t quite recognize and when she’s here, the entire team is here.”

“Law, have we ever expressed how much we truly appreciate your friendship?” Penguin said, his and Shachi’s demeanor clearly changed. They were in such awe that tears were beginning to well in their eyes. “This could honestly be the best night of our lives!”

“Step-on-me-pussy is literally the best pussy,” Shachi added with a sniffle. “We are in your debt.”

“Remember that next time I need changed dressings, blood draws, and vitals from everyone in the unit half an hour before shift change,” Law warned. His friends didn’t hear him—they were too busy imagining the possibilities for later on.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“What does it say about everything that you still don’t strike me as an adopt-into-single-fatherhood sort of man?” Bell-mère asked. She was at Cora’s for the evening, glad that the mysterious kid of his was gone with friends for the weekend. Picking up a picture frame from an end table, she looked at the image of her former comrade-in-arms hugging a sullen tween with Reverse Mountain National Park in the background. “Cute kid though.”

“Yeah, that’s from not long after I became his official guardian,” Cora said from the kitchen. “He was sick when I got him—didn’t think he’d make it past thirteen.”

“No shit. Now you said he’s in his twenties?”

“Yeah—went into medicine; his birth family was full of doctors and I think he wants to honor them that way. Works at Logue Town General and everything.”

“Who knows? He might know my youngest daughter’s beau.” Bell-mère went into the kitchen and sat at the table, watching Cora cook on the electric range—the only reason he wasn’t spontaneously bursting into flame while cooking their dinner. “She’s fucking some doctor who’s got to be closer to our age than hers if the intel we get from her friends is anything.”

“Possibly, though there’s a lot of doctors in LTG.”

“True.” She watched as he splashed some sauce on himself accidentally. “Sure you don’t need help?”

“I’m sure,” he winced. “So, what about you? Still never gave me an answer about the girls.”

“Something just clicked in my brain, you know?” she shrugged, taking it upon herself to pour the wine instead. “I’m sure you had a moment like that with your son.”

“Yeah, but Bell-mère the Beast? Adopting two little orphans while out on deployment?”

“You blew your cover on a covert job when you left, and the only reason you’re not dead is because it involved infiltrating your brother’s criminal empire and you both are worth more to him alive and unperturbed.”

“Technicalities,” Cora scoffed. He brought two plates of food to the table and sat down. “Things are still a little frosty between Sengoku and me for it, but I’d do it all over again and I’m sure you feel the same.”

“Beyond a doubt.” She ate some of the rice on her plate and chuckled. “At least fatherhood made you a decent home cook.”

“I’ll show you what else I’m still decent at after dessert,” he teased. She snorted in laughter—of course he would, because of course he was.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was late that night as Law and Nami both laid in bed, curled up together with their naked bodies flush against one another. The house was finally quiet and they could both just relax—a rare treat for the place they were currently occupying.

“Hey… Nami…?” He could feel her smile against his chest at the dropped honorific; something he did only when they were alone.

“Yeah…?”

“Is this… what you want…?”

She sat up and stared at him, raising one perfectly manicured eyebrow in a curious arch. “What do you mean by that?”

“Having the extent of our relationship being sneaking off to fuck in the middle of a house party?” He tried to shrug aloofly, but was too taken in by the sight of her in the moonlight to do more than twitch. “Would you like to be… I dunno… more involved…?”

“Depends on your definition,” she replied. She hugged her knees as she looked at him, the very sexy and very naked man in her bed bringing a tattooed arm up in order to rub circles on her back.

“Seeing one another without any of our friends needing to be there,” he mused. “Showing up at one another’s workplaces as a surprise, meeting my dad… your mom and sister…” He exhaled heavily, avoiding eye contact by staring at her shoulder tattoo. “I’m not saying commitment, but…”

“I get it; you want to know what’s on the table, if you need to keep future options in mind.”

“I guess.” He paused, trying to find the words. “I don’t mind if we’re a temporary thing…”

“You can say ‘fling’. I won’t be insulted.”

“Okay, fine: I don’t care if this is a fling and we drift apart or we’re actually friends with damn good benefits or I’m just what you’re into for now and you drop me like a rock next month. I mean… I’m getting sex out of it… sex with you…”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” she reminded him, patting the bit of blanket covering his dick. “This is working for more than just you, trust me.”

“What I’m saying is…” he swallowed hard, “if you’d like, I’m willing to start exploring what a life together might be like.”

“See if we like what’s being laid down?”

“Pretty much. We’d need to meet each other’s parents first—hiding you from my dad any longer than I have to will be torture.”

“Well, I’ve never tried the meet-the-parents routine with anyone except for friends, so if you want to try, I’d say it’s worth a shot.”

A small smile twisted the corner of his mouth upwards. “Yeah…?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Law exhaled, only then he realized he had been holding his breath. “Okay. We can do this…? We can do this. I mean, we’re adults.”

“We are.” She then laid back down, settling herself between his arm and his chest. “Let’s talk about it more after some sleep. Then I’ll tell my mom when I get home.”

“…and I’ll tell Cora-san.”

“Wait…” she giggled incredulously. “Your dad’s name is Cora?”

“It’s an old nickname,” he grumbled, “but it is what he prefers to be called. I’ll break that down for you later as well.”

“No, it’s just funny because that’s the name of the woman my mom’s dating. Sorting through the Two Cora Situation is going to be a group bonding exercise in of itself.”

“I guess so.” He closed his eyes as he felt Nami bring the blankets around them again, taking in the wonderful silence of the night.

Well, it was silent for people without really good hearing, as he could have sworn he heard Shachi sob through an orgasm in another room. Only his friends could ruin a moment and not even be there.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The following morning went the average amount of well an after-party morning could go. Most of the house denizens were some version of worn-out thanks to either staying up late, copious amounts of alcohol, or both. The pair of Kuja that stayed the night with Penguin and Shachi both left early—Law had still been on his first cup of coffee when they did—dragging along the smitten Hancock with them. The surgeon watched as his friends found their way into the back by the pool, plopping down at the little table next to him as he scrolled through news headlines on his phone.

“You’ve been holding out,” Penguin scolded.

“Yeah,” Shachi said, expression to be too relaxed to be anything but blissful. “We got them on social and everything. What took you so long to bring us here?”

Law shrugged through his coffee, which his friends refused to accept for an answer. They both glared at him, waiting for whole minutes until he cracked.

“I wanted to make sure of it… you know.” He contemplated his next sentence, thought better of it, and went through with it anyhow. “I’m having her meet Cora-san.”

“Oh, fuck,” Shachi cringed. “That’s… that’s a hell of a step for you.”

“The number of people that have both met your dad and seen your dick is extremely small, and the list even exists in the first place purely due to changing rooms and nothing sexual,” Penguin noted.

“Yeah, you think I don’t realize that?” Law fired back. “Nami-ya and me, Cora-san and his… lady-friend I’m surprised actually exists, and Nami-ya’s mom with her lady-friend—just going to tear the bandage off and get us all together.”

Shachi let out a low whistle. “Oooh… you got it bad.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Law grunted. “I’m putting up with Strawhat-ya to be with her, so might as well.”

It was then that Luffy, almost if on-cue, ran out of the house and did a cannonball into the pool, splashing water all over Law, but not Penguin and Shachi. The latter two tried to hide their giggles as a now-familiar shishishi echoed through the yard.

Yeah, he had it bad alright.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As it turned out, it didn’t take long for Law to get a hold of everyone’s schedules. After looking at the family calendar and swiping her mother’s phone while she was in the shower, Nami was able to confirm that three weeks from that Tuesday worked well. He felt a sense of triumph as they coordinated the event, all the way down to the thumbs-up emojis that were sent his way when she asked her mom to join them.

Now, for the big one. It was luckily Law’s turn to make dinner that Monday, which meant that he was able to have everything ready by the time Cora-san came home from work. The older man raised an eyebrow when he saw his son in the kitchen with food nearly ready.

“Anything the matter?” he asked.

“Nothing’s wrong; just sit.” Cora did and Law brought over two plates of carbonara. “I just want a nice dinner for once.”

“Not complaining,” Cora nodded. He twirled some pasta on his fork and took a large bite, proceeding to talk with his mouth full. “So… you gonna tell me what this is about…?”

Fuck, busted.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to listen to me and not get too excited,” Law frowned. Cora perked up, his attention piqued. “Since we’re both dating someone…”

“…yeah…?”

“I thought it would be nice if we took a very non-committal step to clear the air and all meet one another.” Sparkles formed in the older man’s eyes and Law almost instantly regretted it. “She’s inviting her mom and mom’s girlfriend, while I’m supposed to invite you and… whatever it is that you consider a hot date. You know… be adults.”

“A triple date! How social of you! This young lady of yours must be doing wonders for your tolerance levels!” A thought then came to Cora and he instantly grew serious. “The crew isn’t jealous, are they?”

“Shachi and Penguin were both ‘stepped on’ by tri-state roller derby champions over the weekend and Bepo has decided that he’s determined to mentor this kid who we hang around now so he also doesn’t get the life sucked out of him by being a teenager in med school.”

“Then they approve! Excellent! Let the appropriate parties know and we can set up a day and time! Oh, this will be fun!”

“I was thinking three weeks from tomorrow, at a place near the hospital so it can be for lunch. We double-checked your schedules.”

“Not a dinner-date here…?”

“No, because I want to keep your shenanigans to a minimum, and that’s usually achievable when you’re trapped in a booth seat.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” he admitted. “I’ll pass the word along tonight.”

“Thanks—let me know if anything comes up.”

“Oh, not a problem.” Cora couldn’t stop his wide smile as he looked at his son across the table. “You’ve come a long way, you know.”

“Yeah,” he blushed, “I know.”

“They’d be proud.”

“I know.”

“Now: does this mean I’m getting grandkids?”

It honestly took all Law had to not fling pasta in Cora’s face.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Later that night, Cora found himself having his final smoke of the evening before turning in for bed. Law was already asleep—kid’s circadian rhythm had always been fucked—and that meant that Cora was able to take his cigarette on the patio in peace without hearing his boy nag him about emphysema and other such things. He was nearly done when his phone buzzed: The Beast.

“Hey,” he answered, applying a suave tone to his voice.

“You said you wanted to talk about something?” Bell-mère asked. The text was actually a request to call when she was free, but he wasn’t complaining. “Is this about phone sex? Because I am actually in the mood for some phone sex…”

“We can do that later—there is something I want to get out of the way first.”

“Who’s dying?”

“No one,” Cora said cheerily. He stubbed out the cigarette and made his way back into the house. “It’s just my boy’s decided to coordinate something between us, so we can meet his girlfriend and her mom and mom’s girlfriend!”

“A triple date? With mostly people he doesn’t know? Kind of a lot for a kid that only tolerates hanging out with three people aside from his girlfriend.”

“Well, rumor has it that he met her at a party, and he tolerates her friends, so who knows?” Cora was beaming brightly as he looked at himself in the mirror next to the door—this was the sort of thing that was a rite of passage, wasn’t it? Meeting your kid’s significant other? Her mom? Oh, it was exciting! Was this a sign something more was on the horizon?! “He was thinking of going and doing something low-key: lunch at this restaurant that’s near the hospital.”

The line went quiet for a moment. “…Don Silver?”

“Yeah! I guess he and his friends go there during and after shifts a lot. It’s the kind of place that doesn’t need a reservation, but he’s asking them to set aside a table for us anyhow since he’s such a good regular.” Cora then paused, expression falling “How did you know?”

“My daughter wants us to meet her old-man-doctor-boyfriend, his dad, and dad’s girlfriend for lunch there. Tuesday at one?”

“…oh.”

Both Cora and Bell-mère were silent—no… it couldn’t be…

“Belle…?”

“Yeah…?”

“Did she tell you what the reservation was under…?”

“Her old-man-doctor-boyfriend’s name, but it’s not Donquixote…”

“I never gave him my family name, Belle. The adoption papers went through too slow for it to take effect before he started med school, even if he wanted to change it.”

“It’s a weird name, hold on, she wrote it down for me…” He heard a rustling of paper and then her grunting as she attempted to figure out how to pronounce it. “Tra… Tra-faye-el-gar?”

“Trafalgar; my son’s family name is Trafalgar.”

“Huh.” Cora began to chew at his fingernails and pace the kitchen as his mind began to race and the woman on the other end contemplated. He then began to pace and tug at his hair.

“Belle…?”

Nothing.

“Belle, answer me.”

Silence.

“Belle…?!”

“So,” she chuckled, “wanna fuck with ‘em?”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Don Silver was a well-patronized family restaurant within walking distance of Logue Town General, which made it the perfect location for Law to slip out to during his shift, but also to slip back in should an emergency arise. He left Bepo in charge of his patients until he came back, promising to stay late if he was out so long it threw everything off. When he walked into the restaurant, the owner simply gestured to the usual back booth he normally haunted with his friends, seeing that Nami was already there.

“Ah, there you are,” she chuckled, exchanging a quick peck as he sat down next to her. “Everything seems like it’s going as planned. Nojiko was a little irritated that she wasn’t invited, but she’ll get her chance.”

“Yeah, she will,” he agreed. Law felt as though his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. “I still can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“I know… kind of exciting, isn’t it?” She leaned in close and pressed a kiss to the back of his jaw, smiling as she saw how confused the owner was at the scene. “I should have you know that you might not be on the list of favorites after this.”

“Your mom that big of a menace?”

“More like Gin over there and Sanji have had beef since culinary school,” she chuckled. Law caught that the owner was staring at them and he shrugged—how could he have known? “Oh, hey, there’s Bell-mère!”

“…and that’s Cora-san,” Law noted. He watched has his foster father held open the door for Nami’s mother. “Wait a second… where’s their dates…?”

“That is… huh…” Nami trailed off as Cora and Bell-mère made their way to the table. Both parents decided to slide directly into the booth seating, with the leggy, clumsy one on the inside. “Do we need to wait for the others, or…?”

“There’s no others; what are you talking about?” Bell-mère scoffed. A waiter came over to deposit some glasses of water—a handled mug for Cora, as they were warned beforehand—and battered menus, leaving the four to their own devices for the time being. “It’s just us and our manfriends, although I’m honestly impressed you went as old as you did considering mine’s just a year younger than me…”

“Nojiko and I have been under the impression you’ve been seeing a woman named Cora…”

“Short for Corazón,” Bell-mère shrugged. “That was your codename out in the field, right hon?”

“It was, wasn’t it, Law?” Cora smirked. He tried very hard to not notice the deep sense of confusion his son was radiating. “You’ve been here a lot; what’s good?”

After some awkward deliberation, the waiter came back and took their orders and the menus while depositing a breadbasket. A silence settled over the table once the waiter left, one that made the younger couple hold hands underneath the table for strength, while the older couple decided to put their plan into action.

Operation Fuck with the Brats was a-go.

“We want to thank both of you for meeting us like this,” Cora said seriously, deciding to be the one to break the ice. He nearly couldn’t stop himself from bursting into laughter as he watched panic settle in on his son’s face. “It’s not exactly the sort of thing we want to talk about when I’m liable to trip while wandering around the house.”

“What…?” Nami wondered, cocking her eyebrow.

“Man’s a complete klutz,” Bell-mère said before Law could explain. “Let’s just hope it’s not inheritable.”

All the color left Nami and Law’s faces at once.

“What… erm… do you mean by that…?” the younger woman asked. Bell-mère shrugged.

“Eh, just putting shit down in the right places,” she replied. “Should’ve done it years ago, but never had the reason, until now…”

“Cora-san…? What is she talking about…?” Law asked, his voice faint. His foster father grinned widely.

“We wanted you two to be our Best Man and Maid of Honor!” he beamed. “You’d be perfect for the job! It doesn’t even get into being Emergency Guardians…”

“Oh I’m going to be sick,” Nami grimaced.

“Don’t you dare, you little shit,” Bell-mère warned. “I would think it’d be an honor. You did always want to be an older sister growing up.”

“…and we’re already on the older side for a baby, so having their older siblings be the ones to take care of them in case we can’t is perfect!”

Law sank into the booth, completely dumbstruck. Cora-san…?! And Nami’s mom…?! He was almost regretting not making this meeting at the Southern Blue pub down the street—at least they had a liquor license. “Does Doflamingo know about this…?”

“My brother wouldn’t know what to do with a kid if he had one walk in his front door,” Cora scoffed. “I know because I watched it happen. Multiple times.” The mortification on the younger couple’s faces was definitely worth the ruse; the kids seemed to be inventing new stages of grief. “Speaking of front doors—Bell-mère’s moving in since there’s more room, so you have the choice of staying in your current room or out elsewhere.”

“Nami, you and Nojiko get to fight it out over what to do with where we’re at now,” Bell-mère added. “Just don’t rent it out to any of your weirdo friends—I’d like the place to stay intact, thank you.”

“You have to be fucking with us,” Nami decided. She dug into her purse and whipped out her phone. “I’m calling Nojiko.”

“Go ahead, be that way,” Bell-mère said. She watched as Nami hit the button to dial her sister and held the phone up to her ear.

“So…? How’s it going…?” Ah, fuck, she sounded too smug.

“Nojiko, did you know anything about this?”

“…about what…?”

“…about why the hell our mom decided to meet my boyfriend so easily…”

“Ooohhhh, that,” Nojiko replied, a grin on her voice. “Yeah, she should have told us that her kinky reconnect was a dude before she got herself all prego. She offered me Maid of Honor first, but I said you can have it since you’d actually want to sleep with the geriatric Best Man…”

“I fucking hate you all,” Nami said before ending the call. She put her phone screen-down on the table and glared at her mother. “You are absolutely mortifying.”

“I am what I am,” Bell-mère shrugged. She then wrinkled her nose and looked at Cora with a frown. “Oh… the kid’s gonna be a Donquixote, isn’t it…?”

“Unless you’ve got a better idea.”

“Then how do you suggest we tell your brother? Ease him in gently or just let him discover on his own?”

“I honestly don’t know which would be worse.”

“Your brother—that’s up to you. Oh! Food’s here!”

Sure enough Bell-mère did notice their food coming out the kitchen as the waiter dropped off the plates cheerily. Both Law and Nami really didn’t feel like eating anymore, while their parents both began to pick at their fries…

…and laughed.

“Ah, fuck, we really had you going!” Bell-mère snorted.

“Your faces are priceless,” Cora added.

“So… you’re not having a baby…” Nami stated.

“…and you’re not getting married,” Law continued.

“Tch; don’t think I’m ready to settle down quite yet,” Bell-mère scoffed. “Besides, this klutzy nightmare? Fuck baby-proofing—I’d have to Rosi-proof.”

“Then you’re not seeing one another…?” Law knew it was dangerous to be hopeful. He was anyhow, only for his hopes to be dashed against the floor unceremoniously like a slippery water glass.

“Sorry to burst that bubble, kids, but I am one-hundred-percent fucking this goober despite all logic and reasoning telling me that I probably shouldn’t,” Bell-mère shrugged. “Didn’t think I’d be with a man again after we last hooked up in the Marines, but I have to admit he’s improved with age.”

“Belle…” Cora giggled, blushing furiously. “That’s still my son and his cute girlfriend…”

“…and that’s my daughter and her geriatric manfriend,” she replied. “They’re adults; I think they can handle it.”

To be honest? Neither Law nor Nami wanted anything to do with anything at that very moment.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was actually a fucking gorgeous day as Law laid face-down on the grass in the backyard at 1000 Sunny Drive. He hadn’t thought it was particularly appropriate to show his face at Luffy’s sus-as-fuck party house in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere after what had happened earlier in the week, but Bepo and the goons insisted. While the bear chatted amiably with Chopper and Kaya (how the fuck did Usopp of all the kids got himself a girlfriend? That he wasn’t having sex with yet? No one really knew), Penguin and Shachi were biding their time before the Amazons Lilys showed up (and let’s be real: the nursing techs knew they were the lay-conquest), while Law… he was just trying to not die of embarrassment.

“So…” a voice said, almost consolingly. “You fucked your sister.”

“She is not my sister, Roronoa-ya,” Law replied. He didn’t need to look to see the kendo genius standing there, nor that it was the chef who nudged him in the side with his foot.

“Well, your parents fucked before you did, so that makes you siblings.”

“That does not make them siblings, mossbrain,” Sanji scoffed. “Come on, Law. What do you think you’re going to achieve by doing all this sulking?”

“I’m touching grass; go away.”

“I don’t think that’s what they mean, but keep telling yourself that. Besides, you know the marimo never learned about sex-ed, birds or bees. I bet his old man would have reproduced via budding if he could and skipped the adoption paperwork.”

“Yours probably wishes he could bake himself a less pervy son.”

“Fuck off, you overgrown grass stain,” Sanji hissed.

“You realize none of this is helping, right?” Law said into the lawn.

“Eh; worth a shot.” Law heard Sanji flick open his lighter and the familiar smell of cigarettes hit his nose—the man smoked the same brand as Cora.

“Get away from him, you vultures,” scolded a very familiar voice. Zoro chuckled lowly as Sanji pulled him away. Once the clowns had dispersed, Nami sat down on the grass and sighed, hugging her knees.

“I blame Bell-mère for getting Nojiko in on it,” she reminded him. “She’s the reason any of these morons know anything… well, that and Sanji not having Gin blocked on social.”

“I know—it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.”

“True, but it does mean that we’re probably going to spend holidays together at the very least, whether we’re fucking or not.” She reached over and began scratching his scalp, eliciting a heavy whine. “Look at it this way: they could have not been joking.”

“Doesn’t mean it can’t still happen,” he replied. “Pregnancy can occur all the way until post-menopause, and many are accidental.”

“Shhhh…” she soothed, smoothing his hair. “Don’t think about it.”

All he could do was squeak out a pained groan—he was a doctor… all he could do was think about it.

[homestuck-iconz]

can both mods rate a few ~ships~ i have???? smile -jadenep -arajade -arasol -jadekat -vriskan -daverezi idk theyre random ones i thought up on the spot except arasol for obvious reasons & jadenep -moon anon

Hihi!!! Mod rose starting off here.

Jadenep - 9/10, what kind of crack did hussie put in WLW ships in homestuck? Like actually I don't think I super hate most of them which is super weird????? ANYWAY JADENEP THEYRE BOTH SUPER SILLY I THINK THEYD DRAW FURSONAS TOGETHER

Arajade - 9/10, they could have a VERY funny dynamic [but when doesnt aradia have a funny dynamic w someone in a ship? Never]

Arasol - I've rated it before, heres what I said then with a few addons to be more on topic: 7/10, it cute and i can appreciate the angst, but they kinda have 'dated in middle school for awhile' vibes? and the fanbase [spesifically, fic writers] really soured it for me?? its cute though. Also I think Aradia either works better shipped with other characters or just straight up on her own.

Jadekat - 7/10, There's some cannon precident for this iirc??? It's plenty cute, but if I was going to ship them it'd be pitch. I think that could be the funnest. Nothing wrong with it, nothing to particularly write home about either.

Vriskan - 4/10, Can be cute but I feel like people ignore the fact that they broke up for SUPER valid reasons and that Kanaya doesn't have to be boiled down to Liking Vriska or Liking Rose. Pesterquest is SUPER guilty of this for example. Not the worst ship out there but It's not my favorite by a long shot either.

Daverezi - 8/10, anyone who says they never shipped them at all is a damn lier. Though I do perfer terezi in wlw ships, they have a special place in my heart as THE middle school couple who broke up but are still besties

and mod dave finishing it with my opinions

jadenep: 9/10, haven't got much to add, had the exact same 'fursona maker' thought as rose and just cat x dog is very funny to me (possibly pitch to reference the cat and dog thing... could b cool...)

arajade: 7/10, they both have that kinda whimsical vibe and i think they would enjoy hanging out together. i dont think i could see them in a relationship though because they both have abandonment issues in opposite directions

arasol: 1/10, i know i've rated this before and i might've been nicer then but i hate this, specifically pale. i don't even enjoy the angst. the one point is for the fact that the scene after aradia explodes with sollux taking his glasses off and crying is my alltime favourite homestuck panel

jadekat: 5/10, i prefer them more as friends because i can't see jade getting into a relationship with someone who she literally had to auspice with himself. i do think they're besties though, she pulls him out of his own ass when he gets in too deep.

vriskan: 2/10 yeahh like rose said, they broke up for really valid reasons and as much development vriska could go through i dont think she could reach a point where she would make a good partner to literally anyone other than egbert and terezi

daverezi: 8/10, i'm a damn liar guys. as high as i'm rating them, i don't ship them and i would never go out of my way to search for content or read fics. that being said their dynamic is fucking hilarious and i love them as best friends in fics who dated and never acknowledge it except to make fun of each other for how low their standards are.

[commandermahariel]

12 13 & 25 for mass effect

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

ambassador udina OKAY HEAR ME OUT when this said unpopular i wanted to go for what was actually unpopular and not just divisive (like the human squadmates), and in my experience udina is generally disliked. i like him because despite him being a massive dick and acting like a politician (synonyms tbh) he has more often than not stood for us and tried to be helpful. i don't think him allying with cerberus in me3 was ooc or a justified move, it's pretty in-character and i can see his possible reasoning, i just don't really agree with it. so i like him not in a "smol bean must protecc way", but in a "nicely developed, interesting character way". also he can be fucking hilarious and i really enjoy how he's voiced. i can't say i have any particular suggestions for "why more people should like him", i think disliking him is reasonable, but i didn't have anyone else in mind who could work for this question.

13. worst blorboficiation

this one is complicated and probably influenced by the fact i spend a lot of time in the reddit part of the community. the easy answer would be g*rrus, and i think he is a great candidate for this, but i've talked about it so much already so it won't be particularly interesting. anyway, my pick is t*li'zorah. i feel like she gets the most infantilized and uwufied by the general fandom. i have a piss poor memory, so i don't have any particular examples of it unfortunately, so the basis is "vibes"

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

"[insert human squadmate] is boring!!!!!" are they? or have you just disregarded their personality and backstory because they aren't blue? this one is also a bit of a cop-out, so i'm gonna take some time now to look into a fandom complaint i haven't yapped much about

okay i remembered now. YOU GUYS DISLIKE ME1 GAMEPLAY???? FR??????? for me it's the best game of the trilogy both story- and gameplay-wise. no i am not joking. yes i mean the original 2007 version. idk how people say don't like it because it's outdated because to me it's very fun and no more dated than the later two games. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[murphallo]

Hi, I totally understand your disappointment in how chenford got together. I too thought it was going to take something dramatic for them to finally be together, something like DOD.

Lucy spent 5 seasons not dating cops because of Bishop's advice about her reputation and career. I thought that would play a big part on her hesitation to start a relationship with Tim. But it wasn't even mentioned lol.

And Tim always seemed super aware of the fact that he was Lucy's superior at work, he even listed that as an obstacle in his conversation with Lopez. But then he and Lucy got together and Tim seemed to forget that it's a problem. A "Lucy Lesson" was needed to remind him it's an issue.

But I can't say I'm suprised. The Rookie can set up interesting conflicts and then drop them like hot potatoes. I mean, Ashley says she never wants to have kids and Tim is just "oh well, okay then", and keeps dating her until *she* breaks up with him lol. I mean, what was the point of that?

no LITERALLY bro like…

like bro if i wanted to see a ship get together the way chenford did, i would specialize in fast burns. i get into slow burns bc my ooey gooey hopeless romantic bleeding heart likes to see the moment where it all comes together. now, i will say, i never really wanted chenford to have the near death confession just bc i think it’s been done to death and they’re both in near death experiences like everyday. i personally think it would’ve been interesting to see an arc where they think they’ll lose each other and have to confront what their lives might be like without the other person and they don’t wanna do that yada yada, like jisbon, (yes i’ll be comparing chenford’s get together to jisbon’s for the foreseeable future). what i didn’t think would get them together was like one blurted line that made no sense and riddled the story with plot holes

as for the work thing………… if i think too long about how the work boundary has been handled, my brain might actually explode lol like… the work thing was their BIGGEST boundary and not only did they give 0 shits about it when getting together but they solved it in one episode over what was basically a prank like… i have a pet peeve in slow burns and it’s when i feel like they probably could’ve gotten together forever ago and i really thought all their story was building up to something but if he was just gonna ask her out on a bench outside work in broad daylight and they were gonna solve the work boundary in one episode via prank, i would’ve just wished they did that after her rookie year. that’s another problem with how they got together like fr if it was gonna be that simple why not just get them together between 3x10 and 4x02 when they were both single and there was no work boundary or if there was it would’ve been significantly weaker like… and im saying that as someone who loved s4 😭 i really did love s4 and how 5a was going before 508 and now it all feels so pointless idk

as for the alt s4 love interests……….. oh boi…… okay so. one thing about me. when it comes to fiction… i love me some emotional cheating like it hits every time lol so was it fun to see tim and lucy carry on with 0 respect for their relationships even though i knew they were being terrible people?? hell yeah. but like… when there’s a REASON. i do not understand the purpose of either of those two being in 5a. let’s start with chris. okay so chenford would’ve hooked up in 501 if chris didn’t almost get killed and lucy stayed with him out of guilt? right? that i could understand. but THEN 508 happened and the haunting words of “if we do this” left lucy’s mouth. now…………. if she knew tim wanted to be with her romantically (which is a whole other thing bc bitch how) her staying with chris is absolutely hilarious. her justification for staying with chris was that if she got with tim it might not work out but brother… forgive me if i’m remembering incorrectly, no one was holding a gun to lucy’s head and threatening to shoot if she didn’t get with tim as soon as she broke up with chris. it’s completely out of character TO ME for lucy to stay in a relationship she wasn’t happy in bc she was scared to be with tim. like… lucy is not allergic to being single, i do not GET IT. like if chris died in 501 and lucy was too riddled with guilt to date the guy she was about to cheat on him with, i would ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THAT but this is outrageous.

now onto ashley……… hooooooooo ashley…. okay like….. it’s hard to verbalize how fucking inane the inclusion of ashley was to me… like just goofy. silly. unserious. if tim didn’t realize his feelings for lucy until 422 or 501, it is, TO ME, COMPLETELY out of character for tim to lead ashley on knowing he’d prefer to be with someone else. that’s why i honestly still didn’t think he realized he wanted to be with lucy even after 501 because like… you’re telling me TIM BRADFORD stayed in a relationship with someone telling him she was in love with him knowing he was severely interested in someone else?? that’s never been tim like omg. did he almost cheat on her a lil? yeah <3 but like idk there was a whole ass time jump and he stayed with ashley that whole time that is CRAZY. i didn’t want either breakup to be off screen but honest to god, if they knew they were about to get chenford together, i would’ve preferred an offscreen breakup during the time jump over an onscreen breakup THREE EPISODES BEFORE getting chenford together like omg OMG

*woosah break*

anyone who’s heard my rants (and it’s been a LOT) know that the episode i have the most beef with is 506. because like… we know tim probably didn’t care that much for ashley (despite the whole ass year relationship and debating retirement to travel with her but i digress) and it’s a common supposition that he was more wounded by the way she dumped him than losing her. sure, whatever, let’s go forward with that assumption. but you know who didn’t know none of that shit? LUCY. from her pov, it wasn’t that long ago that tim said he could see himself marrying ashley and we know lucy took that to heart. and then in 506, lucy finds out tims been moping for a week because they broke up (and specifically ASHLEY dumped HIM) but she’s still confident enough that tim us really into her for the “if we do this” like… and if the uc op brought up real actual romantic feelings between them, i would understand, but it didn’t. it brought up horny. it brought up that tim was sexually attracted to her. which… correct me if i’m wrong… she knew that… long before the uc op… so lucy spending an adrenaline filled weekend with tim with makeouts required and then he’s like “aye im feeling a lil something” does not equal feelings and i personally feel like lucy wouldn’t have made that leap like that when he was like… with someone. idk like… if i could take out any episodes in the 5a sad excuse for an arc, it’d definitely be the episode where lucy witnessed tim moping over his fresh ex for like two days and then blurted out that they like each other two episodes later.

so yeah the timing, the supposed trigger, the other love interests… no matter how you try to spin it, you will never ever get me like “oh no that definitely made sense” bc no matter how you look at it shit was dumb lol

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

for the ship thingy: fireball, espave, and brando/clara

someone may or may not have asked for espave already so i will just point you towards that ask, but i’ll do the other two!!

fireball (aka bean x amy)

- i think it would be really funny if amy stopped crushing on sonic and then got with BEAN.

- no one would like the ship except fang, who would get some peace and quiet. the fact fang agrees with bean on something is enough to make it powerful and worthy

- bean might be silly but he can FIGHT so they’d be a dynamic duo, pun intended

- amy hitting bombs into enemies with her hammer

- bean might just be random all the time for no particular reason, but i’d like to think he also uses it for deflection. amy sees through this shit and makes him be vulnerable without the threat of being too overbearing or ruining his image

- i think amy needs someone who will make her laugh, and bean is so hilarious that it’ll work like a charm

- they both talk really fast so trying to listen in on one of their conversations sounds like a youtube video sped up too fast

- amy has a thing for green birds (cough tekno cough)

- i normally see bean as aroace but it would be funny if amy and her big fat crush awkwardly tell him and apologize but he just goes “no it’s cool let’s date” with like a shrug. idk methinks it would be adorable (the look of shock on amy’s face would send me into orbit if someone drew it ngl)

- both of them are highly emotionally affectionate so amy would never get told off for being clingy, and bean would never be called annoying (more playing and adventuring and high energy activities and hugs bean is definitely a hugger)

- headcanon: amy would believe him 100% like he will break the fourth wall and her empath powers assure her he isn’t kidding

brando x clara (jet’s oc parents)

(this is admittedly a hard one because brando sucks but i’ll try!)

- clara is literally the only person brando has and will ever love. well you could kinda count jet but that’s because he’s the last bit of clara still alive, but alas

- they’re pleasant to be around when they’re together! clara gets brando to spend his infinite money on people so if you so much as look their way you get a couple thousand dollars every time you blink, bonus points if you look sad

- brando is too powerful. like he has unlimited cash, jewels and fame, to the point it’s just empty. what’s there to fight for when you have everything? this contrasts clara growing up during a war while broke as shit working for any money she can get to support her little sister and keep them safe. despite all this she’s so kind and full of love, something brando hasn’t really experienced before. they solve each other’s problems!

- they give us one (1) jet q hawk which is the best ship gift ever

[bisluthq]

There are articles on Louis Tomlinson and One Direction, and once again Louis is speaking out about Larry not being real, but he is helpless in saying anything that changes people’s mind. It’s nothing he can do about it. I think it’s frustration on Sean’s part that rumors persist too. I think most Gaylors think Taylor would just come out and deny it, and the reason she doesn’t, is proof she is. I think she did try but the rumors got worse and saying anything more would make her sound homophobic. That is a fear in Hollywood, I believe…being perceived as homophobic. Hiddles seemed to get irritated when asked about it, and flat out denied his rumors. There are plenty of gay and bi people in Hollywood, but the conspiracists seem to focus harder on people that really hasn’t shown any proof they are gay.

Taylor did come out and deny it lol. She denied it to fucking CNN. They covered Taylor being straight alongside wars and shit. But yeah conspiracists don’t give a shit.

look, a bit of speculation is natural and normal and sometimes is yk very true lol. People do come out and/or admit rumors were correct sometimes. Rumors about wild behavior are always fun. People do have fun with one another and artsy people do on the whole tend to be kinda wild and free spirited so like heterosexual truthering to the point of “NO I KNOW FOR A FACT THIS PERSON HAS NEVER EVEN KISSED A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER” is just… not it for me lol. I mean I met old (in length of friendship not age per se) friends of my bf’s the other day that he’s had from Cali/HW (all are film people) and those two friends are married now but when my bf met HER (she’s his friend, he met him through her) she was married to some other guy. Fun story about how those two met: her now hubby has a tongue ring and one night apparently everyone was asking him what it’s like to hook up with a guy with a tongue ring so he set up a kissing line and HER THEN HUSBAND was in the line directly in front of her and made out with him first, after which she did. Her husband and her then split for completely unrelated reasons (my bf had known him and he was apparently a bit of a prick), this guy and her were working a crew job together, got drunk and hooked up and… the rest is history lmao. She finds it hilarious her ex husband made out with her now husband first. Now I don’t think that’s an especially straight story but I’m 90% sure everyone (except tongue ring guy who’s a bit of a wildcard on that kinda thing) in it identifies as straight. People also have flings and shit idk on both sides of the equation - a VERY lesbian friend of mine (the girl who was a bit too masc for me personally when we went on a few dates and we were both just not fully feeling it romantically but we’ve stayed pretty good friends - we actually were very close straight after the failed attempt at dating but then she moved to Colorado so it’s not super easy to talk time zone wise but we do text regularly) recently got drunk and hooked up with her male roommate lol. Shit happens. None of that’s identity related or like necessarily that deep and we should normalize saying like idk people do stuff sometimes lol and it’s fun and normal and we shouldn’t try box everything neatly.

conspiracies on the other hand rot ur brains 🤷🏻‍♀️ and all these gay truthering things are literally that - not rumors, just full on conspiracies and often kinda homophobic at their core because it comes down to like “a straight person wouldn’t do that” and like??? WTF lol. Wtaf.

[faefaye]

E, F, L, N, O, P asks ^^

Let's go! I'll try to answer for both Tokyo Ghoul, because it's you asking =D, and LOTM which is definitely my primary fandom at this point.

(this got long so rest is under the cut :p)

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I've made incorrect quotes and memes for both fandoms and I consider those pretty cracky :p.

But in terms of fics, not really ^^;. I do have light-hearted / humourous fics for both fandoms, but I overall consider myself terrible at writing comedy. In fact, there's one fic I've written in my entire life that I would consider "crack" and I deleted that one off the face of the internet because I was too embarrassed days after posting it. It remains the only fic I've ever deleted to date (my general philosophy is not to delete fics since someone out there, now or in the future, might enjoy it, but I made an exception for that one, it also had zero hits which made the decision easy :p).

...

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Tough question. I never really leave a fandom once I've joined it - even if I move away from it, I'll continue to sometimes read fanfics / metas / see fanart etc. Case in point, Tokyo Ghoul. So my answer would likely be ~9 years, for the first fandom I ever joined (not naming it because it was before this account of mine :p). If that's not counted and we're talking about truly immersed in the fandom, I guess the longest is 3 / 4 years for Tokyo Ghoul.

...

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Tokyo Ghoul: I choose Seidou. I think he's a very interesting character, an ordinary man in the CCG who contrasts everyone else then went on to become a half-ghoul in the most tragic way.

The reason I somewhat dislike him is his interactions with Akira in the first series, but I can't deny those feelings of jealousy, envy and admiration are all also very realistic.

It's been a while since I read Tokyo Ghoul so maybe I'm off, but I always thought of him as a half-ghoul who rejected his past humanity and only looked to his future as a ghoul. Meanwhile Amon was a half-ghoul who could not look to that future and only clinged to his past humanity, so I enjoyed how they were excellent contrasts to each other.

LOTM: Hmm... let's go with Cattleya. I don't really care for her and feel her role in Book 1 was less about herself and more about the people she was connected to (Bernadette, Frank Lee). But I also think she has an interesting past (growing up with Bernadette, links to Element Dawn and Moses Ascetic Order, becoming a pirate admiral) as well as future (her task to infiltrate the Moses Ascetic Order), and I really hope canon sheds light on it.

It's also great that she was the first Tarot Club member to openly defy the Fool, it was realistic of her to not have loyalty to a random gathering that she was pulled into by accident. Like, yes, the Fool saved her, but she didn't ask for it and of course she'd be wary of the powerful being who showed her kindness out of nowhere.

...

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Tokyo Ghoul: (disclaimer I no longer deeply interact with the fandom so my answer may be outdated :p) Generally I just want to see more of certain characters or relations, especially Akira, she's such an endlessly interesting character to me and I adore all sorts of fanwork for her.

Recently due to a blog on Tumblr (idk if it's fine to tag ^^), I've also gotten very interested in everything to do with Eto and love reading metas for her.

Finally I guess canon-compliant post-canon stuff, probably an unpopular opinion but while I have some issues with TG's ending, I'm more interested in reading what could have led to it than the ways it should have gone (which is most of what I've seen in the fandom regarding it).

LOTM: Tbh the English fandom is small enough that anything I like I could say there's not enough of :p.

I've answered this in regard to fanfiction before and I will reiterate one part of that- more Azik and platonic Aziklein in any form.

Second, more nuanced anything about the Demoness pathway and its members (currently reading COI on Webnovel and taking damage from some of the comments I see...).

Then... idk, I have like a dozen characters and relationships I'd like to see more content of :p, tough to choose between them. Probably because I just posted Blessings of Today, I'm thinking about Derrick + City of Silver + Moon City.

...

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

My pick got connected to LOTM: Shelter by Porter Robinson, reminded of Klein. [I could never find the right way to tell you / Have you noticed I've been gone? / 'Cause I left behind the home that you made me / But I will carry it along] reminds me of him with Melissa and Benson, they never knew the real Klein died and they also don't know the current Klein is alive ^^;.

Also, [And it's a long way forward but trust in me / I'll give them shelter like you've done for me] is Evernight helping Klein, and Klein freeing the other transmigrators.

Tokyo Ghoul: Not a song at random, but I want to say Trust Distance by grief art always makes me think of Akiramon in the first series. It's about two people revolving around each other, never able to get closer, never able to define their relationship :p.

Choice lyrics (English translation from the Vocaloid wiki): [The two of us only turning around / because we're attracted to each other, but can't get closer / The nameless circle of relationship / turns round and round, seemingly not broken] and [We reach out our hand for each other / but I can't feel your fingertips either / "If you won't reach, it's fine" / I smile while walking].

...

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Tokyo Ghoul: Hmm... do we mean a completely different world or canon divergence here? I'll go with the latter: I've always wondered about a world where Kureo Mado lived. He sees his daughter train a group of half-ghouls, he might even be friendly with them over time. Then he gets to see his subordinate as a half-ghoul, his daughter joining him to help the ghouls... would he change his mind for the people dearest to him? Or would he continue to hold onto his prejudices?

Nothing for LOTM, finding my way through canon is hard enough without adding AU ideas XD.

That's all, thank you so much for the asks! I really enjoyed answering these.

[magnumdays]

Magnum P.I. 4.19 - The Long Sleep review

So yeah.

We be canon now.

(At least spoken feels be canon.)

I am still shook. And I’m pretty sure next week is either going to be the most amazing episode ever or it will kill me. 

Or both. Quite possibly both.

Before we go into the main case and the Miggy... let me just say how adorable this episode was over all and just the big Ohana vibes. 

Cabe and TC just -chef’s kiss on everything.

(Seriously, can TC adopt me?)

Rick and Suzy at the end, her craving pickles (which you know a little cliche but still so funny) and being all “we gonna be good at this” and even the case-guy feeling like maybe his granddad’s would have wanted him to seek more adventure and Kumu being all “a good quiet life is what most people want” and maybe the guy realizing that but also maybe wanting a bit more adventure.  Just all around the wholesome and heartwarming experience I want when I put on a Magnum PI episode. 

(Side note: Saw the newest Fantastical Beast movie. I’m not sure what I think about it at all but I do know it was a mess, even if it did have some sprinkles of the Harry Potter magic just because IDK? Hogwarts? But the reptile horse was super cute and I still find Newt adorable as heck. Also Nifflers are the best.)

Case - memory loss, blood and diamonds and a dead long lost grandfather 

I feel like premises / plot of like a bunch of 80/90s spy/heist movies, but cute and adapted for TV! In a good way.

This guy was clearly in trouble from the second this woman came over to talk to him. Like the warning bells were going off big time. And yes, at the end of the ep. she does try to gut him while he’s still alive and kicking...

The gutting him alive is so weird and crazy to me. Because there is one thing to drug one guy and shoot another to try to steal (back) a diamond her dad helped steal (I guess), another to start rooting around in a guy’s intestines. Like come on, just buy the guy some prune juice and let nature takes its course?? Work smarter - not bloodier! 

But you know, guess there was a time crunch and for the end of the ep we had to have a dramatic near death/rescue scene, so I forgive them! 

So yeah, case was fine, I like the wacky ones and we had our babies working together with no fuss or muss. 

(Which is what I want to see in season 5 especially if we get canon Miggy soon. We can have Miggy and still have Magnum and Higgins investigations! They can still bicker even if they’re dating! Come on, people bicker more when they’re together, even! It’s jut s a good reason for more banter!)

I really was more invested in Magnum and Higgins and Cade/TC/Grandma plot, but the case-guy (was his name Greg? I feel like it was) was weirdly sympathetic and I liked the fact that this was a good case of ‘need a PI not the cops’ and that they didn’t involve HPD until they needed to. Lia was back and I do hope she’s there for the finale also. It be funny if there was the exact flipped Cole scenario with Juliet being ready to ask Magnum out and he’s all “meeting Lia in five, what can I do for you” (but it’s obviously case related but could be fun. Which by I mean, torture. But the fun kind.)

Now onto the Miggy...

You could buy a decent used car for that price!

(So I’m not sure what Magnum deems ‘a decent car’, but yes, agree, strollers are ridiculously expensive.)

Other than the weirdly long intro with the guy/future client at the bar, we starting the episode of strong with Rick and Magnum looking at strollers and being hilarious - quickly taking us to a full on Magnum confession of feelings which gets the “Gad finally, you were like the last to know” thing from Rick! I cannot believe he actually went “we have a texting thread about you guys“ - that is just... well it prove Rick, TC and Kumu are basically us (the viewers)!!! We had some of this from the sneak peek but the full thing was much better.

So that’s Magnum admitting not only to himself but to Rick that he has feelings for Juliet. I was like My God! What is happening? This can’t be happening! Now we’re sure to get the episode ending with Juliet going on her stupid picnic with Cole!

Is that what we get?

NO!

What do you want Juliet?

No. We get Juliet visiting our favorite head-doctor and doing basically the same thing. Just while being more freaked.

So while Magnum’s confession of having feelings for Juliet at the start was very nice, he’s clearly been thinking it over since coming to this realization in the last episode (so possibly a week or two yeah?) He basically just wanted to tell Rick so he’d get a little push to go ask Juliet out. Magnum got himself sort of figured out and wants to act.

Juliet? Our little baby Juliet? Well, she not so sure. 

But her telling Dr. Ogawa “I can't have magnum -of all people- on my mind all the time” and “I can’t risk it” and ‘what if he won’t ask again?what if I closed the door’ etc, that was her genuinely being in that very confused state emotional. Yet, part of her must have known that she too would get that push to face her feelings, as her doc is a total shipper! But she was much more torn and I just enjoyed that scene tremendously. Not even minding the episode ending on the question of what do you want Juliet? because the answer is obvious!

(Also, I will forever love the “...the idea of spending the day with Magnum was more appealing than a picnic with Cole...” bit. Like, well, duh, of course it is. And how Perdie always does this thing when she’s at the Ogawa’s office where she is just awkward like because for Higgy this would be so awkward. Not sure what it is, like her whole body is just screaming don’t want to be here somehow. Actors are cool.)

So you’re saying you just didn’t have any better options?

So the two Miggy scenes we actually get is firstly him asking her out and Cole’s stupid picnic getting in the way. (Though can we just talk about how sweet him just watching her with a longing look and sigh in the wine cellar was? I NEED gifs)

(Also this top - I have on super similar to it from H&M! I imagine hers is more fancy and she def. looks better in it. Still, fun!)

Then in the car with her asking, well, why he asked her to hang out.

Leading to Magnum being all “well TC was doing this with Cade and Rick was baby shopping-” and she purposely misunderstands and goes with the whole “so I was your last option?” because at this point, she’s been thinking about it the whole day. And she is both scared and hoping that he did asked her out. 

And when Higgy is hopeful or scared, she goes for sarcastic.

Then he goes “no, no that’s not what I meant” and she’s happy. Because that means he did ask because he wanted to just spend the day with her.

But she’s also scared. Still, I’m glad she says ‘I’m kidding’ even with that I loved that he’s trying to explain it while going ‘dang that came out wrong what do say?’.

 Also I think if the phone call hadn’t come in... his explanation would have gone something like “No, but them spending time with the people that make them happy, I realized I wanted to spend time with the person who makes me happy too.” Or maybe that’s just some wishful thinking on my part...

What does this mean?

While my Miggy heart is so happy... tad bit nervous at this, because Jay always said we’d get Miggy - but only for the last episode. That the show would be over once they got together. (Then again, Jay isn’t writing the show, so the Magnum Higgins relationship development is not really up to him, now is it?)

Question is, is that what we’re getting next week?

I think it almost have to be. Why else have the both of them sort of come to term, or state their feelings so clearly, in the very same episode? If they did not have something specific planed for next week I’m not sure why they would do that.

So either 4.20 is the series finale and they knew and decided to give Miggy their HEA as it ends (which I don’t think as we keep getting ‘season finale’ on promos and stuff + because rating be real good for a Friday night show) or perhaps they’ve been told season 5 will be their last one and are setting up their final endgame well in advance? 

So maybe season 4 will end with a our long awaited (real) Miggy kiss 

(thought this one still haunts me)

and the early season 5 will be them figuring themselves out and we get something dramatic closer to the end and the god damned proposal (at pillbox? because currently that is all we can think about...or you know, while arguing in the Ferrari or during a shoot out. I’d be good with that too). 

In fact, I feel like we need that engagement/wedding story-line because we got both Juliet’s engagement to Richard which ended with him dead, Magnum’s to Hannah which ended when she betrayed him and then the Magnum and Higgins’ faux wedding! So a real wedding or at least them getting engaged at the end of season 5 that feels like it would take things full circle somehow.

4.20 thoughts

Just watched the promo for 4.20, and I do think they’re teasing us with the whole “Magnum, I need to tell you something” I don’t think it’s feelings related. I mean this balcony is a very random place and I don’t think that’s how either one of them would do it. It also has a very weird and kind of depressing lighting about it, like end of the world vibes big time.

I just think this conversation is going to turn out to be case related or something. But they both look very tense, and expectant but really they can make promos seem like anything and everything is going down. 

Then again, if something serious is about to happen - which, it is the season finale so totally possible - maybe she’d want to say something before he goes undercover or throws himself into danger? Not sure. 

Or she will tell him and he’ll smile all ‘omg I can’t believe she beat me to it’ and she’ll misunderstand his smile or silence and someone will come interrupt that they have to go on the mission and then we get their reunion and he’ll be about what you said before ‘I feel the same way’ and we get a kiss on the beach or whatever and it’s ever so romantic and yes, my Miggy colored glasses are turning Magnum PI into a romantic comedy. But our babies deserve to be happy!

(Or this one where she goes to knock on his door could be feelings. But a call from Gordon will come interrupt her before she can say anything and then we maybe have it through the episode. It could be kind of funny with like they’re both trying to figure out how to admit it to the other one and they both keep getting interrupted!!)

At the same time, for all we know, she could be telling him that her dad just died and she has to leave to go to England for the summer to bury him or something. That would be on par with the past few season... (But please, dear god, let it not be that!!!)

Anyhow, as it’s going to be the last ep. for a good long while, I’m torn between utter excitement, fear and sadness. But with the last few episodes having been so good and the Miggy, I’m mostly excited though! 

[idontblushsrry]

Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons

A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.

(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)

Word Count:  1943

This dork-

He is so sweet and kind and considerate 

But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass

You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts

You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America

The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten

Like your skin was glowing??? how???

And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too

And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft

((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))

But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao

Will do literally anything you ask

You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal

Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you

Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America

To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly

He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works

Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together

Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like 

“We should totally do that” 

And you were like “Bet”

Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning

“???What happened?”

“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”

Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on

How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle

Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons

Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”

(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)

“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”

So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’

For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more

And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man 

During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’

Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’

Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.

You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’

“Can I come in baby?”

You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door

When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color

You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”

You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping

He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you

And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship

Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship

Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other

Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship. 

He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together

He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick

If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist

Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence

Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you

Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts

Like all of them

Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him

Speaking of dates, good luck

Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring

But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him

Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone

((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))

He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker

He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through

You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo

Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth

But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.

Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times

But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent

When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb

When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start

“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance

“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.

You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs

“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.

You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.

He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it 

You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building

You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack

When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him

However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi

You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight

You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died 

It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped

You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade

Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you

You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground

The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense

Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn

He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies

The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad

Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list

You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist

Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down 

“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”

When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind

‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Fascinating. They usually cut jealousy scenes to a minimum or don't show at all even in pure BL genre, like Lan Wangji (esp Wen Ning thing) or Shen Wei being extremely possessive, bc it can't be explained by brotherhood in their opinion. It's also the reason it was cut from Ultimate. So why here suddenly add scenes like that and with such heavy focus is a mystery, since you've said it's not in the novel. It's not even reasonable jealousy, its just straight up "cant touch my piece of pizza" stuff

Hmm... never thought about it. LOL in the anime the kept LZ being jealous of Wen Ning though xD. Idk in "Sleuth of the Ming" they made a whole open scene out of it. What I've noticed is that their censorship always works differently, and some choices never cease to surprise me, as in who decides what's ok and whats not, bc idk... I understand that stuff like dying for each other, touching, staring can be by many seen as a touching bromance technically, I mean I've seen many ppl watching even cencored BL and being completely oblivious. But there are sometimes some stuff included, that I personally do not get how it can be interpreted as "close friends" and how it passed the censorship. And I do not mean here sucking out poisons, for example (bc I would've done this for my close friends if they were in danger haha).

I'm just judging from the point of view of like me and my sister being very close to the point of a person on the street asking us if we're lesbians lmao (I like still don't get where it came from, hand holding?xD). As I've said before, I guess I see why some ppl who don't have close friends or family would consider some closeness as romantic (since both close bros and couple do some things like spooning for example), but anyone who like saw idk bts members or have a super close bestie or sibling might know that hugging each other to sleep, wearing their clothes or feeding them a jelly bean if their hands are busy doesn't always mean you have any romance there going on, speaking from my expierience, so I just have different view on this "gay stuff vs bro stuff". (like to me the afterlife pingxie scene is actually gayer than any touching they've done, bc like why he didn't see his family or iron triangle whole if they all bros). It's just there are a LOOOT of things that can be indeed considered bro stuff technically (they might not be, but they could), but there is some stuff that just cannot be explained by we're bros, thats all. And this kind of jealousy is one of them.

Bc like a bit of jealousy like "my bestie wanted to go skating with their lover instead of me, so I'm upset we don't spend as much time together" can exist, but if you have problems with someone hitting on your friend, checking him out or even touching him and you don't want them to date anybody, that's another thing, that just means you wanna date them. Wu Xie can hug Fatty to sleep and they can slap each other's butts like me and my sis, but he'd never be jealous seeing someone flirting with him or smth. You know what I mean here? So I get why it's in most situations considered not censorship appropriate and it's cut.

But the most funny thing about the "him being unreasonably jealous" added scenes is the fact that like they actually chose to make him being absurdly jealous. Bc for example in the first version of the scene, Pangzi was trying to dance with Xiaoge, thats why Wu Xie got all worked up:

it was at least somewhat understandable. But in the actual scene from the drama they went and for some reason changed it. Xiaoge pulled Pangzi in, bc he lost direction while being blind, but it was still Pangzi who got reprimanded for that at the end lmao

so it just became even more hilarious, bc Pangzi just grazed him, he didn't even do anything, so I was like will this guy just calm the fuck down, but no, he kept going lolz

I'm just surprised about some of their deliberate choices I guess. So I agree, weird it is.

But Reboot in general was weird, when it comes to the rollercoaster of their choices lmao. They uncensored, then used censorship to uncensor, then censored to cover, its just the first time I saw this weird kind of censorship, like as long as girls are there, jokes like "I won't be able to get it up on a woman" are okay??????? Idk they were just extremely out there almost each episode with all kinds of stuff, that by the end I was like... well, at this point its already pointless. I guess it was just the first time, I've seen it made in such weird way and actually used in a smart way fitted with the character and no just for the sake of it. Adding a scene when he accidentally calls his in their opinion potential love interest his bro's name is actually uncensoring, not censoring, you know what I mean? (since we in fact didn't move anywhere near this realization in the book). Same as what many noticed about them openly making fun of censorship and "out of nowhere appeared feelings and how its not love and whats wrong with idolization if u don't know a person" after NPSS interviews and how it only made everyone fall for what pingxie have more. So it was like... I actually for the first time enjoyed it. It was a pretty genius way of showing Wu Xie's weird internal struggles from that book, which I thought were not possible to show. Bc as you know he's hilariously oblivious there about all of it and same as WWX for example do not even consider such possibility. But I think it's just bc it's not actual BL BL, it's a story where a couple naturally accidentaly came together and turned out to be both guys (even tho one was initially intende to be a girl xD), so its in general complicated. Wu Xie is just borderline lost at this point xD. It's like "Yeah, I want him... What do you mean as in dating? Whats that?". Or like:

- Want a wife?

- No, I want Xiaoge.

- As in you're gay?

- What's a gay?

That's basically how he rolls.

But I do love jealous Wu Xie, I think it's hilarious here, he's like somehow complitely okay with how idiotic he looks and that's very sweet haha.

P.S. "can't touch my piece of pizza" lmaoo well Xiaoge does look very delicious like Black Glasses says xD

P.P.S. all in all I really do not get how their censorship works in general at all. Like why Wangxian wedding bows were allowed, but other stuff don't? Or like I get like complimenting your bestie "you look hot in this" or "you're so pretty" or smth, but there's a difference between this and saying that their "lips look sweet"... like thats already another thing entirely. So at times I watch cdramas like... huh??? Maybe it depends on who checks it idk

[darkfinch]

okay i'm back to talk about ace quinn & parker. if this is too rambly ignore me i just don't how to stop talking. this idea came to me after some of the posts about quinn reading/writing romance novellas. at first i thought maybe it's just a fun interest that's very different from Homicide. but you know that post "one of the reasons quinn and parker get along is because all their hobbies have to do w crime" ? that was bugging me. why would quinn, murder kitten, think about romance books so much

so i created this hc of quinn gets into romance novellas because he's ace and there're parts of human relationships he didn't relate to. which, cool, perfect, not a problem. but one day he's bored on a stakeout or something and decides he wants to know more. it started as research, like people watching, and then just. is fun for him so he keeps doing it.

hardison makes flow charts for parker for navigating human interaction and eliot talks thru different dynamics of relationships with quinn. because hardison and eliot both imprint and will do anything for their people.

and then when parker finds out about the romance novellas (or i guess the smut aspect of them? idk?) she's like "i don't get this" and quinn is like "no same"

!!!!!!!! more ace quinn and parker what a gift what a delight.....

i DO know that post [x] (i think) and i love this reasoning!! maybe it starts as vague curiosity, and then partway through the book he's like. wait this is hilarious. this is so funny, obviously no one actually thinks like th—oh. oh wait. oh wait do people....Think. Like This, and suddenly it's a weird little research project and he has a stack of secondhand books in every safehouse with notes in the margins

like, he can't ask a human person because then he'd have to talk to a human person, but he CAN read a romance novella like a textbook and dissect it for useful information to find The Appeal

[readmore bc this got kinda long]

for me, when i was first thinking abt quinn reading Bad Romance Novellas [x] i was thinking bodice rippers/particularly romance novellas of. A Certain Quality/Time/Type, because a lot of them tend to be,,,,,surprisingly dark and kind of distressing with their content, and i think that the idea that these frequently awful people/people who have horrific things happen to them Back To Back To Back can, in the end, have that cheesy picturesque happy ending with 2.5 kids and a golden retriever or whatever you're supposed to want....would be VERY COMPELLING to him for reasons he refuses to explore :3

(and then also like...dramatic romance is absolutely a spectator sport when you don't participate. as an aroace who enjoys shitty dating shows because Why Are These People Acting Like That, the absurdity of the whole thing absolutely backflips directly into comedy when you're watching with an outside perspective, and while i think he would find that kind of show deeply irritating, i think the like...condensed nonsense + internal monologue for Explanation Of The Thought Process provided by that kind of book would be very fun for him?)

There's also the fact that the plots tend to be romance-arc-centric and so (like hallmark movies, which i also think he likes; unlike real socialization, which he does not) follow a very predictable formula where you can enjoy your absurd romantic escapism with the assurance that you won't get the rug pulled out from under you. You know what you're getting into and you can watch this headstrong lady be swept off her feet by this questionable garbage pirate with good hair, stress-free, unrealistically, and it's great :3

it's Work Research, but it's also getting to briefly live in a version of the world where people are more predictable, this thing he doesn't get is broken down into an unintimidating formula, and the worst people who've experienced the worst things still have someone look at them and go, "hey, wait, stick around". escapism!!

also i LOVE the idea of a very determined eliot sitting quinn (and occasionally parker, who has had this talk before and likes to help field questions) down for a fun seminar on relationship dynamics. hardison made a powerpoint (eliot hates the powerpoint). there's snacks. this is the only way he can absorb information here we go have a colour-coded polycule diagram—

[pluviophile-bookworm]

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt.3

Ok, full disclosure: I should not be doing this right now. But I've been thinking about it since yesterday and, well, I reckon I can go over 1x4 and 5, and then move on to my actual work. So here we are. I'm really, really excited for these two, so without further ado, I'll dive right into:

1x4: It's hard to believe that I couldn't see... the majority of what happens in this episode when I first watched it

Why is Nini such a pro at making a scene with whoever her current boyfriend is in the middle of a public place? I mean, I get it that she's upset about EJ going through her phone — who wouldn't be — but maybe - and this is just a friendly suggestion — she could try and discuss that in private, not start a shouting match within view of all their classmates. Just saying.

'Ricky would never steal my phone' — well, perhaps not, but he's not quite above deleting stuff from it, either... I wonder if whoever is writing this show knows that there are many other ways to make a relationship unhealthy... it's not funny anymore. Just repetitive.

Ahhh Natalie and her emotional support hamster! At least there's one good thing about this scene.

Sure, Ricky, blame Big Red for the fact that you misplace your stuff... a very nice best friend he's got, indeed.

Gosh, everything is so awkward and there is just so much tension all over the place — Ricky's parents, then EJ and Nini, and then Carlos just being oblivious to the fact that they just broke up... you know, that last part just made me laugh. And then Ricky's reaction to his parents legally separating just broke my heart. That boy's been through too much.

Big Red being completely clueless about theatre terms is super funny and endearing, but let me just put myself in his shoes for a sec. He's followed his best friend into a badly thought-out scheme to get back together with his ex, got dragged into joining the crew, and is now expected to know what everything is. I would not put up with that... ok, who are we kidding, I'm a massive pushover and would put up with anything, but my point is... he shouldn't have to. At least people are doing the bare minimum to help him learn and nobody's laughed at him for not knowing. That's the good thing about this crew.

Ok, so I have posted about my thoughts of their take on What I've Been Looking For before, back when the episode was brand new, so I won't go into detail about that. In short, I think they've got the arrangement all wrong considering that it is a plot point in the original movie, but... the execution is funny. The scene is about Nini and EJ's post-breakup tension and it shows. I just kind of wish now Miss Jenn had pulled Nini out and put Gina in, even just for this rehearsal — and I might or might not be saying this as a Portwell shipper.

Miss Jenn is done with the students' personal drama and honestly, I'm right behind her. These kids are being completely unprofessional — and well, I realise that we can't expect them to be professional at this stage, but... they could at least try to concentrate on rehearsal and not their personal lives for a second.

Ricky hugging a cushion is my spirit animal. That's it, that's the comment.

Ahhh the tension between EJ and Gina though... 'around here seniors don't follow sophomores' — well, we'll see how it goes, Mr. Senior.

What gives Nini the right to shout at strangers about their relationship? I am honestly so frustrated with her these days. Wonder why I never was during season 1. The reasons are all there.

'He loves you' — yeah, like a little sister, he does. Also, Ash is so precious, always trying to see the good in other people. EJ 1.0 is so lucky he had her as an example.

Ok, I'm not going to go into what an amazing best friend Big Red is because we all know that (plus I'm saving it for a certain scene in 1x5), but this must be so hard for him. I mean, he's trying his absolute best to help Ricky feel better and distract him from his problems, and Ricky is turning everything down. I mean, I guess I understand where he's coming from too, but I'm unable to look at things through the lead-centric lens alone anymore. I'm more aware of non-lead characters now (some more so than others) and this is putting a whole new spin on my perception of everything that happens.

I've got no idea how Big Red can sleep with all this noise, though. I could never. But to each their own.

'perfect on paper' — that's EJ 1.0 to a T. I've got to give Nini that.

Ricky wearing the pride t-shirt... we love to see it.

See, this is why I keep forgetting why I ever shipped Rini and then remembering again... their chemistry is just so on-again-off-again, and here it's definitely present, but I just need a couple with consistent chemistry, you know. Hey, isn't that kind of what All I Want is about? Kind of. I don't know. I've been unable to listen to that song ever since it got big irl. I have this... problem with media that becomes popular and mainstream... I mean, I never hold a grudge against things just for being popular, but I just... relate to underrated stuff much easier. Not because it's underrated, but it just so happens that nearly everything I like and relate to is underrated in some capacity. Even HSMTMTS itself — it's practically unheard of here in Bulgaria, so I would not have found it if I hadn't been looking for it specifically. Ok, this comment got derailed several times. I guess I'll just stop here and move right on to 1x5 at this point.

1x5: A bedazzled tablecloth, a perfectly balanced unicycle and bad reception at the barn... not the perfect ingredients, but they can still... Work This Out

'Miss Jenn says that's a life in the arts... well, that and almost constant unemployment' — alright, I know this line is not supposed to be funny, and that it's a painful reality for a lot of people, but... maybe it's the delivery. I just laugh every time.

See, this is what I mean when I say I want to see consistent chemistry — Seblos have it. I mean, I really don't want to jinx things, but... they do.

Big Red seems to be in a more... outspoken mood today, I guess you could say. Too bad Ricky is still shutting everything he says down. Seriously, Big Red and Seb should start a club for people who try their best to be there for their loved ones and still keep being shushed.

I might be super frustrated with nearly everything Nini says and does (can somebody please tell me why that is?), but... flushing her dress down the toilet? Major mood.

Listen, I love Miss Jenn and that she's close to her students, but... emerging from a toilet cubicle and inviting herself to Kourtney and Nini's girls' night was... Will Shuester level of questionable.

Ricky being the mature one about his parents separation is... I mean, it's admirable, but how did he move past the impending depression of last episode and towards being the one who tells his dad to get up and move on? Well, I mean, good for him. But I think the issue is far from buried yet.

'Friend of the year'? Ricky? I don't think so. First of all, if he were, he'd know that Big Red does not have two left feet. Wasn't it you, Ricky, who was stumbling over the steps in HSM a couple of weeks ago? You're one to talk. Plus Big Red's been listening and trying to help while you've just been spouting off about your personal problems for... how long has it been now? I get it, Ricky has issues that he needs to work through, but he's almost legally blind in both eyes when it comes to Big Red.

Ok, but Ricky is the epitome of 'cannot solve his own problems but has a suggestion on how everybody else should solve theirs' in this episode. Maybe take a step back and listen to your own advice?

'My parents think I'm bonding with the livestock' — I've got no idea why I find this line so funny, but I do. And I've got so much love for this entire scene. Carlos' reaction to Seb's response to his invitation is just... the most adorable thing ever! My heart might just burst. Especially given what we're about to go through tomorrow in 2x10... I am. Not. Ready.

The entire karaoke scene just reminds me of... pretty much every extended family reunion on my mum's side. Her cousins love karaoke and are also completely tone-deaf. I love it that they're able to have fun with it, but my ears are still recovering from my great aunt's birthday party two years ago.

'When did you become Nini?' — Why does Mr. Mazzara know so much about his students' dating lives? I mean, Miss Jenn does, too, but he doesn't strike me as someone as invested in them as her. Idk, it just struck me as kind of weird.

'I didn't agree to photos' — please, EJ, I'm sure you'll want memories from your first fake-dating gig with Gina... once you're no longer fake-dating, you know. Boy, these two are going to have stories to tell to their grandchildren.

I've said some stuff about Nini, but... 'a bedazzled tablecloth' is the funniest description I've heard for Gina's homecoming dress.

'Maybe it's not actually about you at all.' Yeah, you tell him, Reddy! Ricky needs to get over himself.

The way Big Red sniffs out the drama, though... I was not-so-randomly reminded of that moment in 2x9 where Seb was like Carlos. and Big Red was like, 'Are you guys fighting?'...

Big Red doing a comedic lip-reading of Gina and EJ's dramatic scene is absolutely hilarious. I might or might not have sold my heart and soul to him after seeing that scene for the first time. But I just remembered how he said earlier that maybe he can't read lips and that just makes this 100% funnier — he was basically like a child who can't read yet making up a story based on the pictures in a book, and I mean it in the best way possible. He's a theatre dark horse, this one, and they should all be intimidated — or inspired, whatever they choose — by his hidden talents. Gosh, I love this guy. But can you blame me?

'You think I'm actually going to confide in you?' — Absolutely. You can't bully someone from your position of authority over them and then act like you're their friend. I do know now that Mr. Mazzara has hidden depths, but he had no right to be as rude to Carlos as he was in 1x3. He was right about one thing, though — Carlos doesn't need a dance partner to dance.

Ricky saying he was going to apologise to Gina and counting that as an apology is giving me major TJ/ Buffy flashbacks. I wonder why that is... * sarcasm *

Nini feeling like a fraud makes me actually sympathise with her for a second. But I feel like Nini's flaw of defining herself through boys and Ricky in particular has been addressed one time too many now, since it was first addressed here in this episode. If they make her and Ricky get back together again in season 2, I will riot. [side note: I feel like the Born to Be Brave scene says a lot about both Rini and Seblos as couples. Nini and Carlos both feel, in the moments leading up to the song, like they are incomplete without their partners. Ricky, too, has built his personality entirely around Nini at that time (and is still not completely over that in s2). And then the song comes in to remind them that they don't need a partner to be happy. I'm just thinking of Big Red's 'perfectly balanced unicycle' comment from the promotional materials, and of how he and Ashlyn, even when they're dating in s2, are never portrayed as being incomplete without each other. I guess there's a reason why they're the Beta Couple of the show — their relationship drama is nearly non-existent, and when it does exist, it's just caused by them caring too much about each other. Every other couple on the show should learn from them.]

Everybody supporting Carlos during the Born to Be Brave number just warms my heart so much... I am actually crying real tears. And then the end, when Seb finally shows up, right in time for the slow dance... I have a lot of feelings about this scene.

Seblos' dialogue here still kind of makes me cringe a little... but like, in a good way.

Yikes... Miss Jenn's getting into trouble... I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But she's lucky she's had enough time with her students for them to love her enough to fight for her. Still, this is a topic for another episode, and so I won't expand on it in this post.

Well, that's it. That was 1x4 and 5. Those were pretty much my favourite episodes when season 1 was airing. And I can definitely see why, even if my views on some things have changed due to stuff that happens later. But, as I constantly say, that's what rewatches are for. In other words, 'once more, with feeling this time' as my choir director used to say.