#the fandom around this show in 2016 was completely FLOORED by how good these kids were

[queenofthearchipelago]

The bad actor allegations truly baffle me because do people not remember when Stranger Things first came out and everyone down to STEPHEN SPEILBERG was praising the show for how good the child actors were. This show was largely successful because of how skilled the kids were. I remember a quote from Speilberg where he said that never in his life had he seen such talent from actors so young and that it really raised the bar on what acting could expect from young actors and the new generation.

Like, uh huh, yeah, totally Finn Wolfhard somehow became the worst actor on the planet rather than building his skill more and going on to deliver a performance so nuanced that it successfully delivered a solid and understandable miscommunication between multiple characters AND confused the audience because it was delivered SO SKILLFULLY that we can't even tell what exactly is going on through his head.

I don't know how to convince people that Finn Wolfhard is one of the best actors of his generation and he has been from the start, but I'm not wrong

[veryrealimagination]

Whumptober 2020 - Days 4 and 5

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME

Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

&

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?

On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

Fandom: Psych/MacGyver 2016 (Trust me, this wouldn't have been let out of my head if I could have avoided it.)

“Sandbox.”

The man in question raised his head from the computer he was watching over. The program that was copying relevant files from the company server was running. No one had stopped by the server room in eleven minutes since he managed to get in. Their person that sneaked into the guard position was halfway through a tour of the floor they were on. “Mastermind,” he said, taking a look outside.

“We’ve got a problem,” she said, voice tight.

Psych interrupted, “The guards don’t know anything. Everything’s good on this end.”

“Yeah, but one of their plans just got triggered.”

“Which one?”

“R and B.”

Psych smirked at the unintended joke. “I wouldn’t mind a change in music.”

“Hilarious, Psych,” Sandbox muttered.

“Keeping the mood up.”

“As much as I, quote unquote, love R and B, it’s the raze and burn they kept peppering into their ideas. They aren’t going with clean slate. Too risky.”

Sandbox double checked the computer. Nothing had interrupted it. The program was getting closer to completion. “Clean slate’s too risky?”

“The human factor. Someone could talk. Raze and burn is going to take out anyone connected to their project along with the computer work.”

Psych nodded to the guy at the computer monitors. New guy, it’s his first week. Out of sight, he took notice on how there were fewer guards than he remembered a few days ago. And how most were newer. “‘Mind, how was raze and burn going to work? Hit men coming in or accidents on their way home from work?”

There was tapping on the computer. “Shit.”

“Language.”

“English.”

“‘Mind, that joke got old the second time.”

She bypassed, “Raze and burn’s going to destroy the entire company. They have a layout on how to kill everyone. From the CEO to the maintenance guy and anyone on site when they perform this.”

Sandbox asked, “When’s this happening?”

“Today.”

Psych stopped in his walk. “What?”

“I think when we started copying the files, it alerted them to our presence. They’ve got a clean team heading to the building now. And something’s in the building. They already have it rigged.” She paused, and they heard her breathing on the other side to control a slight attack. “Sandbox, where’s the computer at?”

He turned back to the program. Downloading was complete, but it was running a virus scan. “I’m good on my end. Packing up and heading down.”

She nodded, knowing what he was going to do. “Psych, cover a fire alarm and pull the lever. Let’s see if we can’t evacuate and cause some chaos to keep them from killing on sight.”

The other man grabbed a plastic trash bag and found the closest fire alarm. Pulling, he saw the plastic be hit with blue dye. No alarms went off. “Mind, something’s going wrong.”

She didn’t answer, as the young woman in question was checking the alarm, which also should have sent a signal to the fire department. “Bad news, they disconnected the building. Pulling the alarm shut all outside system warnings off,” she said, switching gears. “Psych, go manual. Start warning people.”

“What do I use?”

“Go with the truth. Domestic terrorist about to descend on the building. Get them out and into the businesses around the area. One building goes down, horrible tragedy. Ten businesses get attacked, something’s suspicious and it brings attention.” Her fingers flew across the keyboard to get into a different document. “Sandbox, let me know when you’ve passed on the pack.”

Psych went back to the guy at the monitor. “Hey, I think we have a problem,” he said, “I saw someone unidentified going down one of the stairwells. He was talking to someone on the phone.”

The man looked up. “What about?”

“Making everyone here pay. Said it was going to be bigger…”

“Bigger than the Bath School Massacre.”

He didn’t go with that. No one remembered that and she needed to stop trying to make history lessons on the go. “Bigger than the recent shootings. More explosive.”

The newbie’s eyes widen. “Oh, not good. We need to evacuate everyone.”

Psych nodded, “Yeah, and the fire alarm has been disabled. I already tried that to get people out.” He held up the trash bag that he used to pull it and showed off the ink that covered it.

The guy had the whole shocked face going. “I better call the other floors. Will you start getting everyone off this floor and move to the other ones?”

Being on the top floor sucked for getting to the servers, but it made up in getting out easier. Now he had a legit excuse to get to the ground floor. “No problem.” He hurried out and started running around. “Mastermind, update?”

She was tapping on the other side for a moment. “The security on the other floors is also unusually light. The calls just getting through and they’re working on getting people up and out to the surrounding businesses. Sandbox is done. He dropped off the pack and is heading to the basement.”

Psych stopped in the middle of the floor he was vacating. “Wait, why is he going to the basement?”

“Because I’m a former EOD tech and I still know how to disable a bomb, Psych.” The man himself interrupted. “Mind’s directing me to the support columns that they’ll target to bring the place down. Get to her, grab the pack, and get to the Point.”

‘Are you kidding me?’ he mouthed before double timing himself on getting people out. Most were already up and heading out with company laptops and other items that normally they would leave behind. They were taking this seriously.

The place was cleared out as soon as he got to the ground floor. Or the regular people that would heed the warnings were getting out. The last people there were the security guards who were triple checking for stragglers and the supposed terrorist before leaving as well. One had gone down and was unlocking doors.

Psych found Mastermind in the small office that had been empty for months. The secondary pack was at her feet. “The team’s almost here,” she reported.

“Good, that’s means we’re leaving, right?”

“Not yet,” Sandbox stopped, “’Mind, who’s left in the building?”

She switched back over to the cameras. “Just us and a guard waiting at the main entrance.”

“Police here?”

“Not yet,” Psych said, “And if my lovely wife told me anything-“

“Taught.”

“No, told. If there’s a terrorist and a bomb threat, they’re sending out the big guns. We should expect SWAT and-“

“An bomb disposal unit. Yeah, Psych. I figured. Same field, remember?”

Mastermind interrupted them. “Great, except the cleaning team got here first.”

Psych looked over her shoulder. “They’re scanning the crowds, but they’re not attempting anything.”

“Yeah, but only because cops are right behind them. SWAT’s on the scene, Sandbox.”

“Bomb crew?”

“No, but the cops that are following behind just rushed the crew in.”

“Get yourselves out.” Psych shook his head and barricaded the door to their room, a cheap desk shoved under along with anything else he could reach. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“Nope,” the other man proudly said, going to the other side and checking windows. They both jumped when something pounded on the door. After two minutes, the attempts to get in stopped.

Mastermind warily looked before switching to a camera feed. “Don’t look so happy, Psych, they're not giving up. Two are still out there.” She followed the other ones on the floor. One was in the lead, guiding them straight to a basement door. “Sandbox, they're coming down. How many devices?”

“I’ve seen two, but a place this size would need about four to six.”

“What a coincidence, there’s about four to six guys in the building. We’ve got two, and, I think three went down the stairs.” She switched the camera feeds to try and track the enemy. After about thirty seconds, her feeds started developing static. “Ummm.”

Psych was over her shoulder in a second. “Hey, Sandbox, someone’s messing with the cameras,” he said. After a minute, it cleared up, but ‘Mind was going through code to see what was happening.

“Do you think they belong to one of the companies?”

She continued tapping, trying to keep everything on track. “Doesn’t look like it, but they may have brought in a new player.”

For three minutes, they held a tense version of cat and mouse. The guys outside of the door hadn’t moved. Psych was watching in case they came through the window. Mastermind was waiting for someone to start attacking on the computer, but nothing was happening. Sandbox had managed to avoid the three people that was hunting him down.

In the middle of a defusal, someone managed to get the jump on him. Sandbox had to divert attention from it to take down the man. However, the bomb activated, giving them thirty seconds. Mastermind noticed. They didn’t. “Sandbox, get out, it’s a lost cause. Out, now!” she ordered, “Psych, grab the bag and get out the window. You know who to contact.” She quick slept her laptop and packed it up, gathering two other cords to throw over her shoulder and follow out the door.

The two on the outside had run off after being warned about a bomb going off. Unknown to them, the other triggers had been activated, set to go off at the same time as the partially de-armed one. Psych barely got out from the radius before the building let off a giant blast from its base. “Mastermind? Sandbox?” he hissed into the mic, “Guys!” Someone grabbed his shoulder and swung him around.

-

Sandbox woke quick. He was grateful to have thrown himself to protect his head. However, it didn’t save his lower half. A beam laid across his lower leg and he could feel something jammed into his back. He hoped that it wasn’t dangerous enough to need a hospital. They couldn’t enter one at the moment.

One of the guys that had been hunting him laid nearby. The beam nearby and a dented skull said that that guy wasn’t getting back up. He felt a little sorry for the guy, but not enough to feel horrible about it. He didn’t hear anything nearby, and he regulated the other two into a non-important status. The blast likely blocked them in other rooms, unless they had been killed as well. ‘Or if they ran out of the building.’

His two partners, he assumed got out. They had the evidence about what the company had been doing. Both knew where to go. He told him about his friends. They had the connections and the ability to do something if they couldn’t. However, Mastermind was determined to stay until he was done, and Psych would have stayed to help and protect her.

‘Mind was the one that warned me. She probably got caught up in the blast.’ That thought was enough to get him to start trying to move. Shifting around, the item in his back cause a spike of pain, and then he felt something coming out. “Fuck,” he moaned, double checking and groaning when he saw blood on his fingers. Someone groaned to the left of him. He swung his head around to look but couldn’t immediately see anything. “Fuck.”

-

Mastermind touched the side of her head, a trail of blood coming down. Pain that had been in the background radiated for a moment before fading to a thump. She glared at the drywall that had a bit of her blood on it. The floor she was on had multiple walls break down, including one that caught her off guard as she tried to make it to a secondary exit. The bag on her back saved her from a large piece of metal from impaling her. The metal got its revenge on the laptop instead. It didn’t stop a piece of drywall from ripping her arm open or another piece from slamming into her ribs.

“Okay, check yourself before moving again,” she muttered to herself. Her arm hurt. It was deep. It needed stitches and a booster shot. Prodding her lower chest resulted in sharp pain. Nothing was shifting, however. “Owww! Okay. Ribs, maybe. Umm.” What was the indications of internal bleeding? Bloating? Maybe? How was she supposed to check that?

A sound from the end of the hall snapped her neck to the right, making her wince at the new pain. Two people in black were coming forward. She couldn’t tell if they were from the company, but they may have been waiting outside out of the camera view. Guns weren’t out, but she was reading orders about capture and contain again.

“One of three found,” one of them reported.

“Shit.”

-

Psych was hustled over to a decidedly not SWAT vehicle. He was about to stave off help when the one that approached him tugged on the bag. “Ah, no, sorry, this bag stays with me,” he said, holding onto it with a fist.

“Shawn Spencer, husband of Julie Spencer, Chief Detective in Sacramento, you two just had a child,” the woman standing near the bumper listed. “You’ve been on the run with one of my operatives and another person. You’re coded Psych due to the former business you had in Santa Barbara.”

A woman in the cab mentioned ‘off-handedly,’ “Sandbox is a friend of ours.”

Sandbox. Okay. He was going to call them, but they came to them. Awesome. The guy that was trying to get the bag was allowed to take it so the woman in the cab could start working on it. “Sandbox was down in the basement, trying to disable the bombs set at certain pillars.”

“The third person, Mastermind?”

“Inside, ground floor. We were near an empty office by the back entrance.” The woman outside nodded to four people. They rushed in, weapons at the ready. Two found a staircase almost uninhibited from debris and went down. The other two started a sweep of the ground floor.

The ground floor was littered with walls and broken decorations. There were parts of the floor that were starting to sink into the basement, making it harder to get through. Weapons drawn, they were prepared to stop anyone in their way.

The area near the offices were splattered with office furniture and other small items. They didn’t hear anything, and there weren’t traces of anyone managing to get themselves up and out. About to report in negative, they heard someone shout in pain. Moving as quickly as safely possible, they turned the corner and saw nothing. Scanning, they saw blood on a wall and checked around.

A gunshot answered their heads showing. The two of them shot back, trying to hit the two men dragging the woman out a standing exit. One got hit in the arm, but they ducked out of sight before they could continue.

“Ma’am, exit on the east side. They have the girl,” one reported.

“Go after them.” She pointed to a spare agent to try and surround the small group. Psych waited anxiously for good news. Mastermind wasn’t law enforcement. He wasn’t either, but his experiences prepared him better than the young woman that was plucked from her boring existence. He and Sandbox silently figured that out within the first week of their captivity. They kept each other sane.

Good news turned to bad when one man came back with a cheap backpack that had a pole sticking through it. One drop of blood came off the end and splattered on the ground. “Fuck,” Psych hissed.

“The other two went down to help dig out MacGyver, ma’am,” he reported.

She nodded at the news. “Mr. Spencer, if you will get in the back with my agents, your wife and friend are waiting at our headquarters.” He frowned before clambering inside.

-

Sandbox woke up with a familiar ceiling above his head, but he didn’t remember what Phoenix mission he was on that got him injured. Until he remembered Masterminds voice, worry painted on her words, Psychs exactly the same. The ceiling caving above him and the dead hired hand that he saw later on. How am I back at Phoenix?

“You scared me, kid,” a voice interrupted. Confused, he turned to see Jack leaning up against the wall, where he could keep an eye on him and someone else. He turned to see Psych conked out in the only seat. “Maddie called me three days after you disappeared, when they realized it wasn’t normal.”

“When did you get here?” he asked, barely able to get the words out. Never mind why or how, the fact that Jack was here at all was a welcomed sight.

“Five days ago,” he said. “Been trying to figure out what the hell the three of you were doing. Psychie over there.” He waved to Shawn. “Told me about World War Three and some of the smartest people being forced to cause the damn thing. That you stopped them and were getting everything you could to bring these guys down.” He smiled, ruffling the younger man’s hair as he knew only he could get away with.

He groaned at the motion, hand slow to come up and stop him. “And what about Mastermind? Is she working with Riley?” He didn’t like the worry on his face. “Where’s Mastermind, Jack?” His mind jumped quickly to the worst possible conclusion.

“Alive, but we’re trying to find her,” he stopped, “The guys they sent recaptured her. The laptop was secured and Riley’s working on that.” The hand didn’t go on his head again, but on his uninjured shoulder. “It ain’t your fault, Mac.”

“Just bad luck,” he muttered, remembering one of Mind’s favorite sayings.

[tardistimes]

Another Brick in the Wall

Summary:  Peter finds out Erik is his Dad. Post-Days of Future Past.

Fandoms: X-Men (Prequels)

Word Count: 1019

The real irony was that Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters was the one place it was difficult to feel special.

So after the whole saving the future, no big deal, don't mention it - Peter had decided to retire to the quiet life. In his Mom's basement.

It wasn't that he completely gave up the hero thing. He managed to catch a kid who fell out a tree. Grabbed two women from their car before it crashed into a phone box. Sure, he was careful. The blue lady had completely ousted mutants and there still wasn't a whole lot of love for them.

There was no specific reason he kept mind-reader guy's card in his back pocket. It was just in his wallet and he couldn't be bothered to clean it out.

Fine. Sometimes things were a little slow. Boring. Monotonous. Sometimes. But then he'd just grab his jacket and run to New York or Mexico City or Rio and then things would liven right back up.

He'd even started helping out around the house. He could clean the place from head to toe faster than his Mom could grab a duster. Sure, he sometimes broke ornaments as he went, but hey, nobody's perfect. And he wasn't just helping out because his Mom kept acting weird. No. He did it out the goodness of his heart.

"Hey. Mom. Why you being weird?" He asked one Sunday morning, a couple of months after the Pentagon shenanigans. Downing a soda before Magda Maximoff could blink, he moved to sit opposite her at the kitchen table, ignoring her flutter of irritation as her hair blasted around her face.

"Peter." His Mom scolded, brushing her hair back with one hand.

"Sorry." Peter said, purely out of habit, before quickly returning to his point. "Why are you being weird?"

"I'm not acting weird, Peter." Her tone suggested he back off the point.

Shame Peter was never one to listen. "Why?"

"Peter." She sighed, well used to her son's stubborn nature. "Would it kill you to just drop something, for once in your life?"

"Can't." He pouted. "Fasted boy alive, remember? My reflexes are too fast to drop anything."

"Try."

"Mom." Peter whined loudly. "I'll just keep asking."

"Peter."

"Why?" He asked again. When he didn't get a response he moved to repeating the word over again. "Why?" And over. "Why?" He'd say the word ten times a second. "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?"

Oh yeah. He knew how to wear someone down.

"Why? Why? Why?"

"Okay!" Magda yelled, throwing her hands in the air. "Oh, honestly alright. Enough!"

Silence filled the room.

"Why?"

His Mom scowled. "Peter." She huffed a breath. "That man they made you save."

"I know - evil." He rolled his eyes. "But the Australian from the future said we needed to break him out to save the world!"

Standing he raced downstairs to get a Twinkie before flashing back to the kitchen, his Mom's eyes struggling to focus for a moment around this new image. She wouldn't have seen him move.

"Anyway." Peter continued like he hadn't even left. "You're the one who said I should go out more."

"The man. Peter,"

"What?"

"He's. Well, I know him."

"Yeah, Mom I think everyone on the planet knows him now."

"That's not what I meant." Magda said, raking her fingers through her hair in impatience. "I know him from before."

"Before? From when? How?" Peter asked quickly.

Well used to her son's inability to slow down, even for his own mother's sake, Magda ignored his interruption and continued. "Peter. I'm not really sure how to say this, so I guess I'll just come out with it. He's your father."

It was quite possible if his reflexes weren't impossible to get the sly on the Twinkie would have landed on the floor.

"Huh?"

"The man you broke out of the Pentagon. Erik. He's your father."

She sighed at Peter's blank expression. "I knew him for a couple of months. We dated. He was always unpredictable." Magda considered her words for a minute. Peter seemed too fazed to get impatient. "Something terrible had happened to him. I don't know what, but he carried it with him. He wasn't in a good place and I felt for him. If I'd had any idea what he would become - but then," she smiled at her son, "I know I'd do it all over again to get you.

"He left before I even knew I was pregnant. I think he was looking for something but I don't know what. I didn't know how to get in contact with him. It wasn't even until I saw what happened the other month that I saw what he'd become."

Peter still didn't break the silence. He sat still, for once in his life, but his thoughts continued to shoot around his head like the sped-up ping pong ball in his game.

"Peter. I'm not used to you going more than three seconds without making a noise." She teased, trying to gauge her son's mood.

"I met my Dad?"

"Yes."

"I broke him out of jail. And I didn't even know it was him."

"I'm sorry Peter. I didn't even know he was a mutant. I never suspected he had powers. Even after I had you - I don't know. Are you upset? I guess I should have told you before. I just liked to think I was enough."

Peter looked at his Mom from under his flop of silver hair. The woman who had raised him, alone. Who put up with his hyperactivity and cops showing up on their doorstep every couple of weeks. He wasn't a fool, he'd seen how other mutants were treated - even by their families. He knew he'd gotten lucky with his. Except the part were his Dad was apparently a serial killer, of course.

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I suppose it could have been worse."

"How?" Magda asked with a small laugh.

"Well. I could have had that claw guy for a Dad. I mean, seriously Mom. Cool weapon, but it was just nasty."

I originally posted this on AO3 in 2016 and subsequently orphaned it when I started writing for different fandoms. I’m now getting back into X-Men stuff and regret orphaning it, so I thought I’d post it on here.

[kauladoeswriting]

Life Will Change, Prologue

What you see here is possibly my weirdest passion project, and frankly I’m  a little terrified to share it. But what the hell, I might as well get it over with. If I keep tweaking it it’ll never get posted. No beta we die like men. Yell at me if there’s any weird continuity errors.

While knowledge of neither series is necessarily needed, it will probably make it more enjoyable. Fandom: Rockman.EXE/Persona 5 Fusion Wordcount: 1764

AO3

Next Chapter

November 18th, 2016

After School...

"After him!" 

 The night sky glittered through the windows as Joker ran by, moving along the sills of the window with grace born in practice and time. 

 "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were intentionally leading them on," Nurse commented in his ear. 

 "Psh, nah. You know how no nonsense he is! He wouldn't do that!" Ribbon responded. Despite her words, her tone revealed she was as joking as Nurse.

 "He's going to get caught if he doesn't stop," Rock scolded. "There's an air vent to your left, Joker. Take it."

 "Lighten up, Rock!" crooned Light. "You and Nurse worry way too much!"

 "Worry? You misunderstand me, Light. Joker's just an idiot." They could almost imagine Nurse tapping her foot without even seeing it.

 "I think none of you are taking this with appropriate seriousness." Soldier jumped in. "The only ones even trying seem to be myself, Rock, and Popup." No one could see Soldier, as he was off by himself, but they could hear his frown loudly over the comms.

 "Because we should act like a dog?" Light asked, immediately followed by a yelp as someone smacked him. If Joker had to guess, it was Ribbon or Popup.

 "How about you're all a distraction and really need to be quiet?" Joker asked, grinning all the same. He had taken Rock's advice, pulling himself up into the vents and let himself out into maintenance hallways, avoiding the guards chasing him for now.

With a quick look around to make sure he really alone, he crept down the hallway, leaping from shadow to shadow. He ducked behind a plush chair as a pair of guards ran by, hoping to catch any one of the nine thieves currently running about the building. They ran by the leader, but of course, they didn’t notice him.

 They never did. 

 Climbing through the building had led Joker to the upper floors. Okay, going up made things a little tougher, but he had accepted that escaping from down below was hopeless on foot. “HALT!”

 Oh, wonderful. He was found again. How were they tracking him so fast, exactly?

“There’s no way around! Joker, you’ll have to fight your way through!” Rock’s voice echoed in his ear, the navigator trying his hardest to manage all of the escapes at once. (He really didn’t envy the navigator’s job.)

 Drawing his sword from his sheath, he took a wide slash, striking both of the blob like security guards and causing them to dissolve. In a moment, they were more solid demons, something he could actually fight. Have to finish this quickly!     Joker grabbed his mask, summing a figure with long flowing hair next to him. “Let’s do this in one shot.” The figure readied it’s blade, wreathed in dark energy.

“EIGAON!” The swordsman next to him drew his sword back, and then in one fluid movement, tore straight through the opposing shadow. Not waiting a moment longer, Joker drove his sword straight through the chest of the shadow’s friend, drawing his pistol quickly and shooting it for good measure.

 “And that’s that.” He said, pleased, tucking his weapons back into their respective holsters. “Good one Joker! Now get going!” Rock encouraged. 

 “Watching him fight is fun, can we look for more things to- OW! Will you stop that?” Light complained, more shuffling as he evidently swung back this time. “Are you trying to get us in trouble?” Ribbon asked.

 Shaking his head, Joker took off down the hall way, continuing his hunt for a safe way out. Whatever map he was using, apparently Rock was unable to give him more useful directions.

 He was at the top of the building now, looking for a way out when the guards found him a second time. He could fight his way out, or he could do the fun thing…. How much did he feel like channeling Light?

 With guards on both sides, and a 5 on 1 match seeming unlikely, even with his skill and variety, Joker decided that channeling Light was in fact the best option here. Pivoting on his heel, Joker faced the huge window directly to his left, and with a few steps back, launched himself straight into it, guarding his face with his arms. For the briefest of seconds, Joker let himself fly through the air, before shifting to head down and land on his feet. For a precious few seconds, Joker thought he might have actually made it outside safely, and that he’d escape from the building unharmed. 

 And then all at once, the world in front of him lit up with the spotlights of SWAT officers. Oh. Oh hell. Pivoting on his heel, Joker jumped up to grab the fire escape ladder, encouraged by the chanting of his teammates in his ears. He climbed as quickly as he could.

 In the back of his mind, he could feel everyone yelling at him, warning of incoming danger. Not just his teammates either. Officers greeted him at the top of the ladder. Even though he knew they were coming, Joker couldn’t help looking surprised. Even more so, when they stomped on his hands, forcing him to let go and sending him spiraling back to the ground.

 This time, Joker wasn’t able to control his plummet.

The following was a flurry of motion and noise, as his comm link was torn away and he lost contact with his teammates, amid their worried commentary. “So young, huh?” Commented one officer, grabbing Joker’s face and roughly examining it, as if to get an idea who he was behind his mask. “To think that an actual kid has been committing this string of crimes…” Joker hoped the glare came across the way he wanted it to. With his arms pinned with an adult’s full bodyweight to his back, there’s not much else he can do. “You were sold out, you know.” Another officer, this one far more arrogant sounding, knelt down next to Joker. “You can thank your teammates for this.”

And then Joker’s world went dark.

 ========

When Joker came to, it was not to the same beautiful building he had fallen asleep in. Rather, it was in a concrete room he had never seen before, with two officers staring him down. He blinked slowly, trying to process the world around him.

 His face was bare. His mask was missing. And looking down revealed that he wasn’t wearing a a tuxedo of any kind, or any kind of weapons; just his day clothes. 

 “Assault, Murder, Grand Larceny, Obstruction of Justice, Property Damage, and more.” The officer was reading his charges. “Quite an impressive rap list for someone who is like, 17 years old?” He asks. Joker glared, not willing to respond to them. If they expect him to cooperate with them, they had another thing coming.

 Apparently, the officer with the clipboard had the same idea. “Now, kid. You can make this easy, or you can make it hard. We have a confession prepped for you. All you have to do is sign.” Still not willing to open his mouth, Joker shook his head no, trying as much to shake the worry of his teammate’s safety as he is  trying to push away the orders of the officer. He needed to hold his ground. They knew the plan, he had to trust they carried it out.

 The officer didn’t agree with Joker’s vow of silence, shoved the chair over, throwing the teen to the ground. “Think you can be a real smart guy, eh? We’ll get your name, one way or another, kid.”

 Blue eyes wandered to the camera in the back corner, behind the officer. The officer turned to see what Joker was looking at, and then laughed. “Are you hoping for the camera to save you kid? That someone will see this and come to your rescue? Let me burst your bubble; They don’t come to save criminals like you.” The clipboard is roughly shoved in Joker’s face again, as someone realized they should probably release his hands if they expected him to write. “Don’t even think about lying kid. You’ll just be caught immediately.” He chuckled, as if it were funny. “Not that you could anyways.” Deciding to cooperate to avoid another harsh hit like that, even though he was confused by the statement, Joker raised his hand to write his name on the clip board.  

Ijuuin Enzan

The officers looked at the name for a moment. “Isn’t it that kid of that CEO…?” Asked one. 

“The one who got in trouble over assaulting a politician?” The other officer confirmed it with a nod.

“You’re going away for a long time kid.” The one that had shoved the clipboard in his face kicked him again, almost completely for ‘good measure’ at this point.

And then he was alone.

=======

Enzan finally climbs to his feet and at least rights hs chair. He was stuck in this room for the foreseeable future. He was waiting for a certain someone, but that person had to actually show up… and a part of him couldn’t help but worry that all their planning was for naught.

Those worries were assuaged when a woman with her hair in a ponytail, wearing a clean pink suit with a blue tie. If anyone could make that look professional… “Ijuuin-kun. I apologize, but we’ll need to make this as quick as you can manage.” She got right to work, setting the folder in her arms down and spreading them across the table. “I have had some time bought for me by my superior, but unfortunately they seem insistent you don’t get a fair shot.” Enzan couldn’t say he was surprised. With a rap sheet like his, he can’t imagine anyone wanted to see him walk free. If only they knew….

“We have been told...things about how you committed your crimes.” Manabe began slowly. “However, the explanations are… spotty at best.” 

Enzan nodded. They sounded unbelievable to him even know, and he had been at this for the better part of a year.

“They say you steal hearts, and fittingly, all those your target have make a complete 180 in their behavior. Ijuuin-kun, I need you to tell me everything so I can make an effective defense. I know their… methods, may make talking a little hard, but I need you to try.” Her nose crinkled a little bit at the comment. “You have to try.” “From the beginning?” Enzan spoke finally.

“From the beginning.” Manabe agreed.

“Well. It started in early April ...”

[liam-93-productions]

Summer 2017. It will, justly, go down in musical history as the season of Cardi B’s ascendance; the career-making single “Bodak Yellow” was released in June, and, by year’s end, it had propelled the performer into the firmament of hyper-celebrity. 2017 also marked the year of “Despacito,” released in January by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee (only to then be remixed in April with Justin Bieber). “Despacito” was tied as the longest-running No. 1 placeholder on the Billboard Hot 100, until Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” broke that record in mid-2019.

Within that same time frame, another mega-hit would emerge. It was the solo debut from Liam Payne, whose years as one-fifth (then one-fourth) of One Direction have made him a permanent global force. “Strip That Down” dropped in May, featured Migos member Quavo, and was penned by the singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran. Payne describes the track as “rap singing” with a “pop melody on top.” With a bouncing intro beat overlaid with percussive snaps (and a dusting of piano-key complements), the song was palatable from the first hook and dance-floor ready throughout. In essence: a satisfyingly uncomplicated, all-but-guaranteed banger that would go on to become a quadruple-platinum success (with over 300 million music video views on YouTube and nearly 700 million streams on Spotify, totaling north of 1 billion plays).

Before “Bodak Yellow” pulled its money moves by gaining major traction toward August and onward, “Strip That Down” was what you heard blasting when cars drove by; sun and sound and windows-down fusing together to create that fleeting, specific euphoria that helps determine the song of the summer. “Despacito” contended, no doubt, but it had been around a bit longer, and there was something extra — a listenable breeziness — about “Strip That Down” that made it linger. Payne says he couldn’t release any new material “for nine months, because they just wouldn’t take it off the radio.” According to YouTube commenters, the song has had a minor resurgence in 2019, and Payne admits he is still shocked by how it continues to stream in the millions, monthly. “I’m like, what? It’s so old now.” The song also made a major, unmissable declaration in its chorus: Payne repeatedly voices, “You know I used to be in 1D / Now I’m out, free.”

Fast-forward two years from the song’s release, and Payne is sitting in his London management office, jet-lagged but energized after a quick but busy trip to New York City to promote his newest single, “Stack It Up,”featuring the artist A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie. The song, which also credits Sheeran as a writer, marks Payne’s first major promotional push since “Strip That Down,” having released an EP in 2018 but, as of yet, no complete album. Though fans will not have to wait much longer: it was announced in mid-October that Payne’s first album, titled LP1, will arrive on December 6, 2019.

Eating a salad from Pret a Manger, he is boyishly handsome, even when battling time-zone disorientation. At 26 years old, the Wolverhampton, England-born Payne (...) and no stranger to fame. One Direction, that union of Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, and Harry Styles, formed in 2010 after appearing on the British version of the singing competition show The X Factor. “1D” would earn millions of fans worldwide and hundreds of millions of dollars; the band went on indefinite hiatus in 2016. “I’ve been doing this for 10 years,” Payne says with a smile, when everyone in the room admits to feeling the grind of an exhausting schedule.

“We’ve gone full circle,” Payne says, relaxing into his chair. “‘Stack It Up’ is the same team that made ‘Strip That Down,’ which is why it sounds like the song’s little brother.” The track is similarly playful but is more about cash-lust than anything physical. It’s also slightly less shimmery, with an attenuated keyboard pulse and a semi-scratchiness to Payne’s vocal work. “One of the main problems I had with the song, actually, is that it’s very money-oriented, and I didn’t know if that was the message I wanted to convey,” Payne continues. “I’ve been really lucky to have great success, but there have been times in my life when I am sitting there, looking out at the most beautiful view, and all of these amazing things are happening around me, but there’s no one there and you’ve got no one to share it with. You sort of think, ‘Well, that didn’t fix anything, did it?’ You feel just as low as if you had none of it.” This is the first bite of Payne’s ice-clear transparency. He is think-aloud and cut-to-the-chase candid, which, it could be argued, is a rare trait for the very famous.

“So, with that in mind, we kind of switched up the lyrics so that you have dreams for you and someone else, and sending this message of working hard for what you want to gain,” Payne says. “I was a kid from humble beginnings. My parents didn’t have a lot. They gave us what they could. The reason I love this song is that, if you’re on your way to work and you’re listening, I like to think that it gives you the urge to go above and beyond for your shit.”

Love — sometimes messy, sometimes fanatical, sometimes deeply personal — is part of Payne’s narrative. (...) Likewise, his friendships (both then and now) with the other members of One Direction. Regarding modern love — and the trials and tribulations he’s gone through to understand it, and to achieve self-love, at this point — Payne has much to say. The path to 26 has not been easy: The singer has been open about facing mental health, relationship, and self-esteem issues. There is fact and fan fiction when it comes to One Direction’s split, but Payne himself has said there was strife. He even has a tattoo that reads, “We are the quiet ones,” as he felt he was never allowed to speak up on account of the group’s squeaky clean public-facing image.

“I think everyone has a love-hate thing with what they each individually do. It’s not always nice,” he’ll say of his career. “You get a bit of that feeling of turning against your profession.” Has he ever fallen out of love with music? “It can get tedious, and there is a lot of pressure a lot of the time, which is difficult. Your urge sometimes will not be enough. I’ve found that having people around you that give you unwavering support is, more than anything, what keeps me going. (...) Whereas in the past, there have been times when I didn’t know if I wanted to make any more music. You need those people around you to make sure that you carry on.”

(...)

Payne also admits to mentally working through the backlash and the hysteria that can follow his every move. From the One Direction days, his fandom can tread into extreme territories. “Some people can be really nasty for no reason,” he says. “And also, when you’re worried about going to a restaurant or the park and being overprotective, that actually causes more problems. Because then the paparazzi and the press get more on your shit when you’re hiding away, and then when you do finally show yourself or reveal something, it’s a fucking frenzy. (...)”

Payne would not count himself as one of those people. He has been affected by acute anxiety, agoraphobia, and insecurity. He has canceled shows and, at one point, found himself drinking too heavily as a coping mechanism. “We all have an ideal in our heads of what we want to be,” Payne says of self-love. “From the moment you step in and say, ‘I am who I think I am,’ then nothing can touch you. For a long time, I was playing this character, and in reality, I was a million miles away from it, and everyone could fucking see that shit. You get a different level of confidence once you are, like, ‘I’m good.’ Self-assuredness is a powerful thing.” Payne says committing to a fitness regimen and routine has helped, too. “You become happier and more confident, more quickly.”

(...)

Payne concludes by saying he has only “very recently” felt truly comfortable in his own skin. “I’ve just had a long conversation with a friend about this,” he says. “Don’t let your past define you. It’s not all about what you did or didn’t do. I’m on the map of where I am supposed to be, and knowing that is the key.” Liam Payne, consciously stripped down and continuing to stack it up, takes the last bite of his Pret salad.

[obsidiancreates]

Old Writing Part Two: Electric Boogaloo

Yeah so uh here’s the “Fandom School” one.

This one has not been seen by even myself since like... October of 2016.

Oh jeez. That’s so long ago. Fuck time.

So this is... the whole story. Each Chapter was super short, the first three are under 400 words, so I just stuck ‘em all in here.

This one... is from 12 year old Sid. Yup. Little baby Sid. 

It is bad. I’m warning you now. But perhaps, entertaining. At the very least, a good example of being able to grow and improve with enough practice.

Chapter One: Fangirlish

Abby shouted as she hit the floor. Her brother came running in, a look of worry on his face.

"What was that thud?" he asked.

"I laughed to hard while watching Venturiantale and fell off the bed."

Her brother face-palmed.

"Come on, Jeremy. Don't face-palm. They're funny!" Abby said with a grin.

"They're all you think about! You really need to stop obsessing. "

Abby gasped and looked at him like he just asked her to eat a smelly boot. "How could you say such a thing! Plus, they're not all that I think about. I also think about Doctor Who, and Star Wars, and Tolkien stuff, and Percy Jackson, and My Little Pony, and Monster High, and Warriors. "

Jeremy sighed. "Those are all....what do you call them? Fandoms?"

"Indeed. However, I am obsessed with them because they are beautiful. They are fabulous in ways you do not understand, mortal. Be gone!" Abby cried. She grabbed the ballpoint pen she took with her everywhere and uncapped it. "Be gone, or else you shall face the wrath if Riptide! Wait, Riptide can't harm mortals."

Jeremy sighed again and left the room, muttering about Abby being weird.

Abby went back to her video, laughing her butt off. After she finished it she went and read some Percy Jackson fanfiction. She was deeply absorbed in a very interesting fanfic when her alarm went off. It was time. She got up off her bed and went over to her desk.

She sat down and took out her notebook. She put on some music, written by Venturian of course, and began writing. She was writing a fanfic about Doctor Who.

"Abby, there's someone here to see you!" her mom shouted. Abby sighed, but went downstairs anyway.

She entered the living room to find a girl around her age sitting on the couch. She had blond hair with blue streaks and green eyes. She was wearing a t-shirt that said 'Fandom U' on it.

"Hello Abby, "she said with a grin, "I hear you're quite the fangirl."

Chapter Two: A Fellow Fan

Abby was a little creeped out. Who wouldn't be if a girl you had never met before was sitting in your living room saying she had heard about you?

The girl seemed to notice that Abby was weirded out, and spoke again. "My name is Bell, by the way."

"Bell? Who names their kid Bell?"

Bell laughed. "My mom's favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast. Anyway, you're a fangirl, are you not?"

"Yeah, kinda. And by kinda, I mean totally." Abby said. She was still a bit creeped out, but Bell seemed friendly enough. "Why do you ask? More importantly, how the heck did you hear about me? That's kinda creepy, considering this is the first time I've ever seen you."

Bell smirked. "So you're asking to know my secret?" She said the last part in a creepy voice.

"Wait, you watch Venturiantale? Awesome! But, could you at least answer my first question?"

Instead of responding, Bell handed Abby a piece of paper. It looked like a letter you would get from school. "Here, read this. If you decide you want to attend, just call the number at the bottom of the page." With that Bell left, humming a tune Abby recognized as the theme of Rohan.

She went back up to her room with the paper and began reading it. At the top it said, in big, bolded letters, Fandom U.

That's what Bell's shirt said.

As she read the paper her eyes  widened.

Dear Whom It May Concern It has come to our attention that you are a massive fangirl. We are pleased to announce that you have been accepted into Fandom U. All supplies we be provided upon arrival, should you choose to attend. Please note that some fangirls can be dangerous if you speak negatively about their fandom, and the school is not responsible for any injuries should you be insensitive enough to do so.

Sincerely, The faculty of Fandom U

Excitement came over Abby. "I'm going to Fandom U!" she screamed happily.

Chapter 3: Belonging

A few weeks later, Abby was all packed and ready to go. She had called the school and arranged everything. She was sitting at the bus stop, waiting for her transportation. She bounced her leg up and down, a nervous habit of hers. Finally a bus labeled 'Fandom U' arrived. The doors to the bus opened, and Abby couldn't help but stare at the driver.

"Well, get in!" the driver said through his mask. He was dressed in a full on Stormtrooper cosplay. As Abby stepped onto the bus, she wondered how he wasn't being baked alive in the heat.

She discovered that each row represented a different fandom. She took a seat in the Doctor Who section because it, somehow, had more room then the other sections. The bus started up, making the same sounds the T.A.R.D.I.S makes. Abby stared out at her hometown, feeling excitement  at what lay before her. She leaned back in her seat, humming fandom songs. Normally people would look at her like she was crazy, but instead everyone joined in, humming with her.

She had found where she belonged, and she loved it. The whole bus ride was filled with fan theories, discussions about characters, and tons of references. It was the most fun Abby ever had!

After what seemed like only minutes, they had arrived. Abby looked up at the building in front of her in awe.

It was enormous, like a castle. Above the door there was a huge sign reading 'Welcome to Fandom U!'. The building was shaped in an unusual way. So unusual that Abby wasn't even sure what shape it was. The outer walls were painted with so many fandom symbols that Abby had a hard time seeing anything else.

"Abby!" a voice called. Abby turned around to see Bell running towards her. "Abby, great news! They made me your escort!"

"Escort?"

"Well, yeah. It's a huge school. Plus it's your first day. I'm here to show you around!" Bell said.

She looked at Abby's face, which was still a face of awe. Bell grinned and said "Abby, welcome to Fandom U!"

Chapter 4: Orientation

"This place is amazing!" Abby said. She looked over at Bell, who seemed just as excited as Abby felt.

"Wait until you see the inside," Bell said. She started walking and motioned for Abby to follow. Abby grinned and walked with her into the school.

The inside was more amazing than the outside. The entrance was decorated with hundreds of pieces of fandom merch from hundreds of different fandoms. Abby noticed a T.A.R.D.I.S replica, a statue of a cave troll from The Lord of the Rings, a replica of Luke Castilian's sword Backbiter, and what appeared to be a statue of Papa Achachalla.

As she and Bell continued to wherever they were headed, Abby took in everything she could. The halls were each themed around a different fandom. There was a Doctor Who hall styled like the inside of a Dalek spacecraft, a Narnia hall styled like the Pevensy's castle, a Lord of the Rings hall styled like the halls of Rivendell, and a Venturiantale hall decorated with the channel's colors and each of the siblings emblems, among many others.

The classroom doors were all shut, so Abby didn't get the chance to see inside. She followed Bell to a large room resembling a theater.

"Welcome to the auditorium! This is where all the assemblies are held, as well as the school plays!" Bell said. She led Abby over to the very middle row and took a seat. She motioned for Abby to sit next to her, which is just what Abby did.

"This room is huge! How many students are there?" Abby asked.

"I'm not sure. A few hundred, maybe. Possibly more," Bell answered. "Oh, orientation's starting! We better stop talking. "

All the other students had sat down while they were talking. They all went quiet as a lady walked up on stage. "Greetings, students! I am Miss Silnet, your headmistress," she announced. Abby was shocked. The lady definitely wasn't dressed like a headmistress. She wore a camp Half-blood t-shirt underneath a black sweatshirt, a pair of jeans with fandom references doodled all over them, and a pair of plain red sneakers. Her ginger hair was pulled into a loose braid with bits of silver weaved in. She couldn't have been older than thirty, yet was still clearly a fangirl.

"Welcome to Fandom U! I'm sure some of you new students are curious as to what the U stands for. Most people think it means university. However, a university is a collage, and here all ages of fans are welcome. The U in fact stands for United. We are all united under our love of our fandoms! Join me as I say the school's pledge," she said. She put her hand on her heart and began the pledge, with many returning students saying it with her.

To be obsessed For all our lives, To value the next part Over the next school test. To love those who do not love back, To stalk them on the Internet. To unite as one Under the fandom sun.

Abby looked around her, thinking about how all these people had similar interests, habits, preferences, possibly even crushes as her. She realized that they truly were united in their love of fandoms. She could tell this was going to be her best school year ever.

Chapter 5: Classes

After orientation Bell lead Abby to her dorm. The room had two beds, two dressers, two closets, two trashcans, two desks, two bookshelves, and, to Abby's surprise, two TVs. There was a dark blue couch in front of each TV, the bedding was purple on both beds, and at each desk there was a chair made of oak with dark green built-in cushions. There was a large window in the middle of the wall leading outside, with a view of the huge field behind the school. In front of the window was a kitchen, complete with all the cooking utensils you could ever need. On both sides of the room there was a private bathroom with a shower, sink, medicine cabinet, mirror, and, of course, toilet.

"This room is amazing!" Abby marveled.

"It gets better. Guess who your dorm mate is. Me!" Bell said. Abby  was very happy to hear that. Despite having only known Bell for a short time, the two seemed to be best friends. Plus, Bell was the only person Abby actually knew!

Abby then noticed the large boxes sitting by the desks. They were labeled School Supplies.

"So, which side do you want?" Abby asked Bell.

"Hm. The right side, I think."

"Okay!" Abby said. She set down her luggage, which she had been hauling around all day, on her bed. She walked over to her desk and opened the box.

Inside was everything a fangirl could need. There was a laptop, about a dozen brand new books, some notebooks, some pencils, some pens, a spare phone charger for both Apple and Android brands, a charger for the laptop, an extra pillow in case of a feels attack, a sketchbook for fanart, colored pencils, and many course books for class.

She closed the box, not feeling like unpacking it. Her eyes fell on some paper on her desk. She picked it up and asked Bell, "What's this?"

"It's a list of all the different classes you can take. In this school you get to choose all your own classes! What you do is pick your five main fandoms, then pick two classes per fandom. Later one of the teachers will come to collect it. They enter it into a computer, which then devises a schedule," Bell explained.

"Oh. Thanks!" Abby said. She turned her attention back to the paper. On the first page were five spots to write her fandoms. She thought for awhile, then chose Doctor Who, Percy Jackson, Venturiantale, Star Wars, and Warriors.

She turned to the next page, which had a list of the different classes for each fandom. She read over all the options, then chose the ones that interested her most.

Abby's choices:

Venturiantale: Tale Fighting, the class where you learn to fight like the Tale characters, and Lore 101, the study and attempt to make sense of VT lore.

Percy Jackson: Demigod Combat, the class where you learn how to fight like a Demigod, and Camp Cooking, the class of learning to cook the meals they eat at camp.

Doctor Who: A Study of Time, the class on understanding how time works, and Regeneration History, the study of the Doctor's personal history.

Warriors: Knowing Your Herbs, the class on healing methods the clans use, and Warriors Speak 101, the study of Warriors phrases and words.

Star Wars: Understanding the Force, the study of what the Force is as well as how it is used, and Dark vs Light, a debate class studying the pros and cons of each side in an attempt to find out which one is truly better.

Abby finished filling out the paper and looked over at Bell, who appeared to be doing the same.

Abby and Bell spent the rest of the night unpacking. Abby discovered that the closest was filled with fandom clothes, as well as the dresser. "How did they know my size?" she asked, a tad creeped out.

"Your mom had to put it on your admission papers."

"Oh."

Just before Abby went to bed there was a knock at the door. The teacher had come by to collect the class papers. After the girls had handed them over they got into bed. Bell seemed to fall asleep pretty quick, but Abby stayed up for hours,unable to sleep at the anticipation of the next day.

And then I never wrote Chapter Six. I guess she overslept, huh? Heh.

[lokilickedme]

Part 3 of Read By Loki Laufeyson - Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own (no longer available there) 

Rating:  Mature

Archive Warning:  No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:  F/M

Fandom:  Loki - Fandom, Loki (Marvel) - Fandom, The Avengers (MarvelMovies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom

Relationship:  Loki/His Book, Ana/Christian

Character:  Loki, Loki Laufeyson, Loki (Marvel), Ana Steele, Christian Grey

Additional Tags:  Explicit Language, this book deserves its own warning tag, one that says DON'T READ ME, Explicit Sexual Content, lame and exceedingly silly descriptions of sex acts

Series:  Part 3 of Read by Loki Laufeyson

Stats:  Originally Published 2016-02-27   Words: 3386 (original version)

Part One:  The Night Manager

Part Two:  High Rise

   50 Shades of Grey, Read By Loki Laufeyson by lokilickedme 

Summary:  Loki reads 50 Shades and throws up multiple times. I would offer my apologies to E.L. James, but she doesn't deserve it. 

Notes:  See the end of the work for notes  

  This shitshow gets on the shaky road with a dedication that made the right side of my face twitch before the story even got started.  It's dedicated to "the master of my universe" and as of right this very moment I'm ready to preemptively toss it into the bathroom, not as reading material for my next luxury soak, but as a replacement for the empty roll of toilet paper that I keep forgetting to run to the store for.  Fuck me people, she didn't even capitalize "master" and ANY GOOD SUB KNOWS THAT NOT CAPITALIZING MASTER IS A MASSIVE SHOW OF DISRESPECT AND YOU DESERVE THE ASS BEATING YOU GET FOR IT - WITH ZERO AFTERCARE.  Don't ask me how I know that, but go ahead and fight me, this is a hill I’m willing to die on.  If this person is writing a book that's touted as an even remotely accurate accounting of a Dom/sub relationship, I can tell you right now, she doesn't know jack shit. 

So I've read a couple of pages and I'm already looking around for my seizure meds when I realize I don't take seizure meds.  I will after this, I might as well go ahead and call it in.  I'm to the part about Wanda the Volkswagon when my anticipatory boner not only goes away, but retracts so far up into my scrotum as a result of the most horrendous writing I've seen this side of Thor's second grade book report on Anne of Green Gables that I'm thinking I might just be female now.  I mean seriously?  This hurts.  I’m not even exaggerating, if you have a penis it’s going to draw up into your gall bladder.  If you have a vulva it’s going to need a vat of Burt’s Bees Extra Moisture Replenishing Salve and a bottle of cranberry capsules.  I’m not even female at the moment and this thing gave me a flaming UTI.

 I’m not sure Wanda, my old VW Beetle, would make the journey in time.  Oh, the Merc is a fun drive, and the miles slip away as I floor the pedal to the metal. 

People, this is a published book.  Someone got paid for this.  It got made into a movie.  I haven't even gotten to the sex yet and I'm already Google mapping monasteries within a one-hundred mile radius because I'm ready to take my vows.  No, this book hasn't made me believe in a higher power.  It has taken away my will to ever get laid again.

 The elevator whisks me with terminal velocity to the twentieth floor. 

Holy fucking shitballs people, terminal velocity by its very definition means someone is going to die.  Is this person wearing a pressurized speed suit?  Do they hand them to you at the door before you go into the elevator?  How does the building tolerate the mechanics of generating that kind of speed?  And if by some random blessing by some random god who won't be getting any thanks from me she actually survived this trip to the twentieth floor, her brains would be leaking out her asshole.  That's not the way to make a good first impression, sweetheart.  Take the fucking stairs next time.

 It’s a stunning vista, and I’m momentarily paralyzed by the view.  Wow. 

Yes, wow.  Paralysis is rarely ever momentary darling, and it does ugly things to pretty girls.  Like, rendering you a jelly-like heap on the floor because your muscles don't continue working while you're paralyzed.  Paralysis sort of means your muscles have stopped working. 

I've begun highlighting every word I come across that the author obviously doesn't know the definition to.  Fake it till you make it, right darling?  Five pages in and my yellow pen has died a violent death.

 I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet, and falling head first into the office. Double crap – me and my two left feet! 

YOU. 

HAVE. 

GOT. 

TO. 

BE. 

FUCKING. 

KIDDING. 

ME.

In what universe is this ridiculous cutesy sort of shit thought to be amusing?  The cliches are giving me hemorrhoids.  Me and my two left feet?  Not that I'm an expert on Earth terminology and phrasing, but I'm fairly certain people stopped saying shit like that around 1962.  And...I can't believe I'm being forced to say this, but - double crap??  I was already calling my brother a bilgesnipe’s vagina by the time I could crawl, I'm pretty sure the last time I said something as immature and amateurishly silly as double crap I was still in the womb and cursing in Morse Code.  I may actually have even still been a sperm in my father's left testicle.  How old is this writer?

 “Um. Actually–” I mutter.  If this guy is over thirty then I’m a monkey’s uncle.  In a daze, I place my hand in his and we shake.  As our fingers touch, I feel an odd exhilarating shiver run through me.  I withdraw my hand hastily, embarrassed.  Must be static.  I blink rapidly, my eyelids matching my heart rate. 

I'm sorry but I really don't even know where to start.  The Um. Actually- ?  Or the I'm a monkey's uncle?  Maybe it's the staccato pacing?  The elementary school sentence structure?  The fact that all but one sentence of that paragraph has the word I in it, sometimes multiple times?  She placed her hand in his and they shook - sort of like I'm shaking right now.  It's the seizures this damn travesty has provoked, honestly I should sue the author for my prescription costs.  And if that girl's eyelids matched her heart rate then I'm just envisioning one of those blinky-eyed cupie dolls strapped to a paint mixing machine.

 “I own my company.  I don’t have to answer to a board.”  He raises an eyebrow at me.  I flush. 

Yes darling, always do a courtesy flush when the stench is really vomit-inducing.  Like now.  I'm not even going to ask if this conversation is taking place in a bathroom because I can tell you honestly, the bathroom is right where it belongs.

 His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel...or something. 

Something...like, maybe shit, perhaps?

 I shake my head to gather my wits. My heart is pounding a frantic tattoo - 

No darling, trust me, it's not.  A tattoo is something you draw on your body, there's no pounding involved unless you've done the drawing on your vagina.  And if you’re referring to the drum beat, then you should just say so because frankly this is meant to be a sex book and your readers aren’t going to be interested in Googling your sophomoric attempts at using interesting words.  And just as an aside, most humans are going to think of a Scottish marching band when you use that word in that context, and the last thing you want your readers thinking about while you’re sliding into a smut scene is men in plaid skirts blowing bagpipes.

 I am utterly thrown by the sight of him standing before me.  My memories of him did not do him justice.  He’s not merely good-looking – he’s the epitome of male beauty, breathtaking - 

Hold on a second, I wasn't aware I was in this book?  I must have been drunk.  I'm not sure that I would consent to this idiocy even if I was soused off my gourd, so I think I'm going to be filing a second lawsuit for character theft.

 - and he’s here.  Here in Clayton’s Hardware Store.  Go figure. 

Yes, go figure sweetiepie.  Everybody, even handsome people, need replacement U-joints for their toilets.  They come in handy when you're trying to flush books.

 Finally my cognitive functions are restored and reconnected with the rest of my body. 

Honey, cognitive functions aren't a part of your body, they're a part of your brain.  So unless your head fell off while you were walking around in Clayton's Hardware Store, I doubt this happened.  If it did, my condolences to Mr Clayton and the other shoppers, I know how traumatic that can be.

 And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain – 

You mean the whole thing?

 - probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata where my subconscious dwells – comes the thought: He’s here to see you. 

I just had another seizure.  It’s a sex book darling, stop trying to use seventy-five cent Merriam Webster words and settle for something along the lines of My fucking head exploded - trust me, at this point your readers will relate to that far more than to the concept of subconscious thought.  Or any thought at all.  And we all know it’s highly unlikely Miss Double Crap Wanda-driving headless-in-Clayton’s-Hardware store is capable of coming up with a term like medulla oblongata after that terminal velocity elevator ride.

 No way! I dismiss it immediately.  Why would this beautiful, powerful, urbane man want to see me?  The idea is preposterous, and I kick it out of my head.

 And now your head is completely empty, much like the author's, because that poorly constructed series of sentences was all that was rattling around in there. 

For the sake of moving this along, because I have something to say about literally every fucking sentence in this roll of rough-ass toilet paper, I'm going to skip to the first round of sex and see if anything improves.  Because that's what people do when things aren't going well, isn't it?  They have sex and see if it gets better?  And then if it doesn't, you kick them out and finish up with a fresh pack of batteries and a few minutes of Skinamax and when you wake up in the morning it'll be a whole new day, sunshine.  Because honestly, I just got to the part where her cheeks went the color of the Communist Manifesto and if I don't get to some penis and vagina action I'm going to kill myself.  Besides that, all this double crap inner monologue is starting to make my ballsack clench up. 

So alright people, I've got my lube and my right hand ready, let's get this party started shall we?

  "Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?”  Holy shit.  Did I just say that? 

Well it certainly wasn't me.  Having medulla oblongata issues again, are we sweetheart?

 His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly.  “No, Anastasia it doesn’t.  Firstly, I don’t make love.  I fuck... hard." 

Finally, someone steps up.  Is that the sound of zippers headed south I hear?

 "Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for.  You could still run for the hills.  Come, I want to show you my playroom.” 

Nope, my mistake.  Zippers firmly holding north.  How far is this fellow going to count?  Do people actually do that cheesy little “Firstly, secondly” speech tic all the way up to thirdly?  I usually only get to secondly before someone pops me in the mouth.  Somehow I have no trouble envisioning this obviously anal retentive Christian fellow proceeding right along to fourthly, fifthly, sixthly, seventhly...perhaps he has a numbers fetish to go along with that paperwork obsession of his.  If this is foreplay I'm leaving because math was never my strong point and I’ll be damned if I’m going to relive the hell of ninth grade just to get a two page smut scene.  If you want to have sex with me we get to firstly, I point to my zipper, and the game is on.  But he does get points for being forthright enough to come right out up front with the admission that he's such a rough fucker there have to be contracts involved.  Kudos my man.  Too bad he wrecked it by planting that playroom visual immediately after, because now all I can think about is a toybox full of Legos and a plastic xylophone.  Even I can't make anything kinky out of that.

 My mouth drops open.  Fuck hard!  Holy shit, that sounds so... hot.  But why are we looking at a playroom?  I am mystified.  “You want to play on your Xbox?” 

Yes darling, Fuck hard!  It sounds like a Bruce Willis movie, only this time he's not in an office building crawling through the ceiling or on an airplane fighting off terrorists, he's tied to a bed while Bonnie Bedelia drips hot wax on his scrotes.  It's a real shame we lost Alan Rickman, I'd give anything to see Hans Gruber standing at the foot of the bed in a leather corset intoning Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker just one more time.

As for playing on his Xbox, the Sims have a "whoo hoo" function.  That's all I'm going to say about that.

 - it feels like I’ve time-traveled back to the sixteenth century and the Spanish Inquisition.  Holy fuck. 

Ah yes, the good old days of the Inquisition.  I had quite a wonderful time during that era, it was a sado-masochistic wet dream.  And no, I wasn't an Inquisitor...I worked as a volunteer equipment tester for the Vatican.  There wasn't a steel spiked ball cage or 360-degree nipple twister that earned my seal of approval until I screamed for my mommy.  Something tells me this pansy-ass little ninny isn't going to make it past the electroshock vulva clamps before she's crying for every matriarchal figure in her family all the way back to the Charlemagne era.

 “It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.  I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission.  The more you submit, the greater my joy – it’s a very simple equation.”  “Okay, and what do I get out of this?”  He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.  “Me,” he says simply. 

Um...no. Just no.  Unequivocally NO.  That isn't how it works, E.L. James.  Not in the slightest.  In a true Dom/sub relationship the submissive receives every bit as much as the Dominant, and there is no two ways around that.  Anything less is bullshit and whoever you're trying to force-feed this lie to should leave running and punch you in the crotch on the way out.  I sincerely hope anyone reading this nonsense is doing so on a dare and not because they want to learn about D/s dynamics, because you're obviously not going to learn anything from this book except how to be a lip-biting ningnong who doesn't do much more than chat merrily with herself inside her medulla oblongata while mentally spouting double crap! on repeat every thirty-seven seconds.  And any respect I had for this Grey fellow for being up front about his sexual preferences just went out the window, which coincidentally is where the lip-biting ningnong should be headed.  Like he said - you could still run for the hills. 

Skipping ahead...skipping ahead...my god are these idiots ever going to do it?  I'm on page 194 and so far the closest they've come to coitus is when he almost ejaculated in his pants in an apoplectic rage when she told him she was a virgin.

 “Ah,” I groan. 

Ack, I puke.

 “You smell so good,” he murmurs and closes his eyes, a look of pure pleasure on his face, and I practically convulse.  He reaches up and tugs the duvet off the bed, then pushes me gently so I fall on to the mattress. 

I'm practically convulsing too darling, but unfortunately not with pleasure.  I need more anti-seizure meds, I've already gone through the entire bottle.  I'll be starting on the Xanax next and then it’s another call to my HMO.

 I’m panting... wanting. 

I'm vomiting...heaving.

 Not taking his eyes off mine, again he runs his tongue along my instep and then his teeth.  Shit.  I groan... how can I feel this, there? 

Hold up a second - this is a man who is so persnickety he pulls the duvet off the bed before he lets her set her ass on it, but now less than a page later he's just removed her sneaker and is licking the bottom of her sweaty all-day Converse encased foot?  My capacity for suspension of disbelief is not only wavering at this point, it’s pretty much died a slow and painful death.  Which is what I feel like I’m doing.  And if a man is holding eye contact while licking the bottom of your foot, he’s either upside down or your leg is so high up in the air he could be looking up your hooch and seeing himself through your left nostril.

“How do you make yourself come?  I want to see.”  I shake my head.  “I don’t,” I mumble.

I call bullshit.  She’s twenty-one, a virgin, and has never diddled herself?  That’s about as likely as me never having had intercourse with a horse.

“Let go, baby,” he murmurs.  His teeth close around my nipple, and his thumb and finger pull hard, and I fall apart in his hands, my body convulsing and shattering into a thousand pieces.

Huh.  And here all this time I’ve been laboring under the delusion that more was required than just two short paragraphs worth of nipple play.  This girl is a physical wonder, her nipples are clitorises.  Clitori?  Clitterati?  However you say multiple clits.  I know playing with them feels nice and I’ve made more than one maiden squirm with a few well placed sucks and a pinch or two, but this girl was climaxing before he even got her out of her brassiere.  Someone get her a job at the Kinsey Institute.

Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor.

I hope they didn’t land on the duvet, he went to such trouble to keep it from getting mussed.

Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free.  Holy cow...

Rather like a jack-in-the-box, I’m envisioning.  Holy cow indeed.  Twist the handle and Pop Goes The Weasel plays while you wait in panicked anticipation for that horrid little clown to burst out of the hinged metal box and scare the shit out of you.  Well, he did say playroom, didn’t he.  Oh, and boxers and briefs are two entirely different things, my dear.  The further we get into this silly little tale the more convincing my sneaking suspicion that the author has never actually met a man before.

“I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele” he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex.

I’m sorry, I know I’m an adult and all but I’m giggling like a sixth grade girl that wandered into the wrong locker room at school.  And for the record, I know exactly what that sounds like because I’ve done it.  But this...this is just...holy fucking hell with twice the fire and ten times the brimstone, that sentence up there just chemically castrated me.  The head of his erection at the entrance of her sex.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume it means he put his cock on her pussy and we’ll call it fair and move along.

“Hard, he whispers, and he slams into me.  “Aargh!” I cry -

To quote Miss Steele, holy fuck!  His dick is so big it’s turned her into a pirate!

He speeds up.  I moan, and he pounds on, picking up speed, merciless, a relentless rhythm, and I keep up, meeting his thrusts.

Is anyone else envisioning these two jogging through the park playing bongos?  Just me?  Okay.  Oh and for future reference, because I assume this world isn’t lucky enough to escape at least three sequels to this travesty, no sentence should have as many commas as it has words unless the person speaking it is being punched in the mouth between each syllable.

Two orgasms...coming apart at the seams, like the spin cycle on a washing machine, wow.

Darling if the spin cycle on my washing machine made anything come apart at the seams I’d be at Home Depot demanding they make good on the warranty.  Which, something tells me, you should be doing with this new man of yours.

He increases the rhythm infinitesimally, and his breathing becomes more erratic.  My insides start quickening, and Christian picks up the rhythm.

I looked up infinitesimally, mainly because I’ve never actually seen it in print before and it’s such a strange looking word.  I laughed so hard my Xanax came out my nose when Google offered up this definition:  immeasurably small, exceedingly little, less than an assignable quantity.  To give it a meaning, it must usually be compared to another infinitesimal object in the same context.  Mr Grey, I do believe your tight coochied little virgin just called your dick tiny.

“You. Are. Mine.  Come for me, baby,” he growls.  His words are my undoing, tipping me over the precipice.  My body convulses around him, the precipice.  My body convulses around him, and I come, loudly calling out a garbled version of his name into the mattress.

Well damn, I have to say I’m impressed, both with the uncanny power this fellow’s voice has to make orgasms happen from out of thin air, as well as this girl’s ability to climax on demand after never having done so in her entire life previous to this encounter.  That’s three times now she’s “shattered into a million pieces” all over the fucking bed - thank god he had the presence of mind to toss the duvet on the floor, because those stains would never come out.  He’d probably be getting a visit from the local police as soon as Mrs Fratelli at the dry cleaners got a good look at it.  And I don’t know about anyone else but I really want to hear this “garbled version” of his name that she called out into the mattress.  No, really.  I want to hear it because I’m imagining something like what went down in the Caves of Caerbannog when the Knights were debating the pronunciation of the last word written on the wall.  Does that make Ana’s orgasms the sexual equivalent of the Black Beast of Argh?

I’ll wait for you to hit Google on that one.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.  I’ve got all the time in the world.  I still have six hours of studio time booked and this travesty of a novel is now residing in stall #2 in the mens room and I’m sitting here playing with the roll of toilet paper I stole.  It was a worthwhile trade.  The word Charmin printed four million times on these little squares in infinitely more intellectually stimulating than that undigested goat’s dinner we were reading.

Fifty shades of TP’ing E.L. James’s house, anyone?

End Notes:  All passages in italics are the property of E.L. James, and as far as I’m concerned she can keep them.

[atruththatyoudeny]

MONTHLY READS | November 2018

I’m so sad I’m too late for Fandom Appreciation Day but I still want to thank every author on this list for the hard work and for sharing their stories with us! »Top 5 stories + 13 more I enjoyed under the cut« Half a Million Strong by kiddle | Woodstock | famous/not famous | enemies to friends to lovers | 50k Everybody is really looking for some kind of answer where there isn't one. Why would 300,000, 120,000, 60,000, 70,000 people come to anything, just because it's music, you know? I mean, is music all that important? I don't really think so, but people don't know, you know. They don't know how to live and they don't know what to do and they think that if they can come here they can find out, you know, what it is or how to maintain it. It’s just, like... People are very lost. -Jerry, festival goer August 15th, 1969, New York. Louis Tomlinson is a young writer for a relatively new-on-the-scene rock magazine called Rolling Stone. His assignment is to fly across the country to cover the highly anticipated Woodstock Music and Art Festival. Armed with a notebook, audio recorder, and a camera, Louis just needs one big interview. Harry Styles. A new name in rock music and a future name in rock history. His first album sold tens of thousands and his interviews attract audiences across the country. He has the poetry of Jim Morrison and the stage presence of Mick Jagger. And after seeing him perform at the festival, Louis is willing to jump through hoops to put Harry on the cover of Rolling Stone. When You're With Me by dimpled_halo | terminal illness | minor character death | kid fic | angst | fluff | 33k “Louis, wait.” Harry blurts out. Louis turns his head toward Harry expectantly. Harry’s heart races and he doesn’t know why. He’s never felt this nervous around someone before. He reaches for his wallet in his back pocket and pulls out a business card handing it over to Louis. Louis takes it in his hands and reads it before gazing back at him. “Um. Don’t hesitate to call me if you ever need anything.” Louis nods in acknowledgment, a small smile curving on his lips. “Thank you, Harry.” Harry returns the smile. “Have a good night.” With that, Louis climbs out of the vehicle looking back once on his way to the front door and waving at Harry. He ignores the way his stomach flutters, and pulls out of the kerb to head home. * Harry feels immediately drawn to Louis when they meet for the first time. Unfortunately it's under sad circumstances that leave Louis as a single father. Before Harry can offer his support, Louis is gone just as soon as he'd come, but he leaves a lasting impression on Harry that he knows he'll never forget. It isn't until a year later that they cross paths again and Louis changes Harry's life in ways he didn't expect. The Compulsion to Find Love by Toomanytears | a/b/o | worldbuilding | angst | fluff | slow burn | 140k The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known. Save me...... by SavageMonkey | kid fic | emotional hurt/comfort | angst | humor | 59k Harry is struggling with the loss of his partner, raising his daughter Addie all on his own. He is hoping to find solace at a local community center grief meeting. Louis is dealing with his own loss, but has a whole new approach to life that Harry didn't know existed. Harry is a successful personal chef. Louis is a star of the stage. Cameras Flashing by juliusschmidt for HL Famous/Not Famous Fic Exchange | a/b/o | famous/not famous | coming out | practice dating | 81k With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert. Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight. As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything? 

A Pun-derful Life by AlwaysAqua for Wordplay Fic Challenge | mutual pining | puns | friends to lovers | 9k Falling in love with his best friend was never part of the plan, but it happened. It keeps happening; Over and over again on a daily basis. Sometimes, even that’s too long between falling in love. Or, Harry and Louis use too many puns as a means to make each other laugh. Through the Warning Signs by crimsontheory for The 1D Hiatus Fic Fest | friends with benefits | friends to lovers | pining | 12k Harry and Louis have been best friends for years, but when Louis suggests they become friends with benefits, how will Harry handle that while also being in love with Louis? This time I'm ready to run by Cherrie for The 1D Hiatus Fic Fest | famous/not famous | 15k Six years ago Louis made a choice. This time around he was not about to make the same mistake again. Sounds Like Heaven by howtogetawaywithlouis | angst | exes to lovers | hate to love| fake/ pretend relationship | famous/not famous | homophobia | islamophobia | depression | anxiety | alcoholism | emotional hurt/comfort | kid fic | cheating | pining | 30 k Louis is screaming, and he should consider toning it down cause Sandy is sleeping on the same floor, but tears are starting to gather around his lashes and his voice is slightly quivering, and he doesn’t care about waking her up as much as he should. All he can think about is how he’s been such a fool that a woman is going to steal his girl and his man, and he’s completely helpless cause none of them both were entirely his in the first place. “Louis,” Harry whispers quietly, his hand coming to rest hesitantly on Louis’s shoulders. “You know it’s not going to happen.” Louis shakes him off and takes a few steps away. “No, I don’t.” He grips the bottle of champagne and goes to pick up the glass from the sink. His throat is tight and it hurts to swallow, so when he speaks again, to a Harry who looks sad and frustrated, it’s with a simple murmur. “I’m going to bed. You can show yourself out.” --- Or, a very painful au where singer/actor Harry Styles and songwriter Louis Tomlinson are married and have a daughter, but are not together any more. Except of course, it’s not that simple. Our Sweetest Memorial by messofgorgeouschaos for HLRegencyVictorianFicChallenge | Regency | slow burn | hate to love | mpreg | exes to lovers | 34k Ever since Harry was forced to break off an engagement five years ago, he resolved to never marry for the remainder of his life. Now his family must move out of his beloved Kellynch Hall to recover some of their debts that their father had accumulated. The last thing Harry expected was for the new tenants to be related to his former fiancee. And for that fiancee to come back to Somersetshire a much more wealthy man that still holds resentment for their past. A Persuasion AU. Lend Me Your Hand by QuickedWeen for HLRegencyVictorianFicChallenge | Regency | soulmates | soulmate-identifying marks | light angst | fluff | hate to love | 63k Society has long since decided that the soulmarks everyone is born with are entirely unfashionable. They're just another way for people of a lower class to scam their way into marrying above their station. Lord Louis Tomlinson, Viscount Loring, on the other hand, has always believed that he will find his soulmate one day. Despite preparing for a match his whole life, he is entirely unprepared for the arrival of Gemma Styles' younger brother. Harry Styles has been traveling and away from society for over a year. Coming back, he intends to spend time with his sister, and slowly reacquaint himself with life in town. He doesn't need to wait around for a soulmark to determine how his life will play out. Like Two Softened Shoes by marie24 for HL Fic Fest (2016) | coffee shops | pining | friends to lovers | 13k He sets his laptop on the bed, backing away and running his hands repeatedly through his curls. Okay. This is okay. This is fine. This is not real. Will peeks his head around the door frame. “Uh, everything okay in here?” Harry tries to keep his breathing under control. “Yeah!” he says. “It’s, um, everything’s fine!” He can hear himself talking really loudly. Will looks doubtful. “Are you sure? Because it really seems like -” Harry barks out a laugh, cutting him off. “Okay! So this is going to sound really strange. But.” He looks at Will, with the same shiny fringe, blue, blue eyes, and sharp cheekbones he’d been writing about the whole last week. He worries his lip frantically between his teeth. “Um. I think I… I think I… wrote you?” Or, Harry is a writer who gets through his writer’s block by pouring his feelings for his best friend Louis into a character. A few days later, the character lands in his bed, three dimensional and with no idea how to get back where he came from. He turns out to be very inconvenient for keeping Harry’s feelings to himself. Lemon eyes by turnyourankle | a/b/o | friends with benefits | minor injuries | light angst | 50k It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way. And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus? If Ignorance Be Bliss by seemyselfout | friends to lovers | Coming Out | overhearing sex| slow burn | 30k “Uhh” Louis hears first. Then the creaking. The fucking creaking of it all. The bed, which Louis knows is basically a glorified camp bed with its awkward wheels at the bottom and wooden board behind it, begins thudding. The banging is rhythmic, Louis can’t help imagining the poorly stifled moans of them both, Harry’s awkwardly lanky limbs and skinny hips jerking with about as much finesse as an eighteen year old can manage (read: not a lot). There is a moment where Louis is almost certain he hears Harry say “shhh, uhh, my roommate” and... The audacity of that. Louis is simply too outraged now to do anything, including get turned on, and simply waits until Harry’s stupid dick gives up (it sounded like she didn’t come - Ha, Louis thinks bitterly). Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him. The light is coming by ishiplouis for HL Mpreg Fic Exchange 2018 | a/b/o | mpreg | hurt/comfort | angst | 10k Louis was cold. So fucking cold. He was hungry too. He hadn’t eaten a real meal in a long time. He’d lost count of how many days he hadn’t eaten correctly or, rather, he didn’t want to remember. He wanted to forget. Forget that he was now alone. Well, mostly. He cursed his faith. He wasn’t supposed to end up like this. He was supposed to go to college, find a mate, and graduate with honours. Maybe he would have to apply right after graduation to some job offers but thankfully his father would intervene and would find him a job in no time at one of his friends’ companies. Then he would get married and be finally mated by his Alpha. In this dream of his, Louis would end up with three beautiful pups, a huge house with a white fence and a wonderful mate always caring for him until his last breath. That was how it was supposed to happen. Louis put a hand on his slowly hardening belly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. It wasn’t fair. Or the one where Louis is lost but Harry is there to save him. I Spy Baby by mynameispiaivy for Girl Direction Fic Fest | Girl Direction | love/hate | 7k “Wait, Lou. I have a penlight.” “A what?” “A penlight. You know, a pen with a small flashlight on it.” She could feel heat rising on her wet face. ”I know what a fucking penlight is?” “Well, I just thought it would be safer if we used a penlight instead of your lighter in this place. Something might catch fire, you know.” She says this matter of factly. Louis closes her eyes as she counts from one to five. “Okay, you’re right. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Now, use your damn penlight so we don’t trip on some dead person or animal inside here.” “It would smell if there’s a dead person in here, you know.” “Oh my god, Harry. Can you..just fucking turn on your damn penlight so we can see where we are going?” “Geez, you don’t need to shout. I’m practically beside you.” **** Harry and Louis are lost in the woods. I can't help myself from how my heart is racing by flicker_album | strangers to friends to lovers | Gym AU | mutual pining | 13k Louis is just trying to be a good friend by working out at the gym that Liam owns. He never expected to (quite literally) run into Harry, the hot boxer who sings embarrassing songs in the locker room showers. Baby Honey by delsicle | a/b/o | historical | World War II | established relationship | mpreg | angst | 14k When the next great war strikes, all alphas have to ship out. Alex leaves a little more behind than some of the others.

[tagsecretsanta]

from Lightning1999

to @plastictuna

I do not own this piece of art/fiction. @lightning1999  is the original creator and has agreed to this being posted on this blog for Secret Santa 2017.

Under the cut for length

Note from @lightning1999  -- This is my first 'completed ' fanfiction in English ever !

_December -2016 was the month when I knew about 'Thunderbirds Are Go 'show.

_'Secret Santa '

I think this is the best apportunity to write something for this Fandom

I haven't written any stories in the past 3 years ,  I think I forgot how to write.but whatever.

_WARNING: This fanfic is long

I advise you to bring anything to eat or drink while reading it.

You will find some mistakes English is not my first language you can point it out to me privately because I actually didn't know how to write it okay?  I will not feel offended,  it's just a step to improve my English.

Waxing Crescent Moon

~ 22nd of December ~

   It was a quite cold evening when Buddy and Ellie had finished editing season 15 episode 25, they covered any unusual stories around the world, the story behind Merlion,  they searched for Aliens who kidnappe people and even an actual living underground dinosaurs,  They barley could make it out of there.

Unfortunately , episode 26 wasn't recorded because of the

'giant lizards '.

They threw their heads back to the couch and gave each other a 'high -five ' for all of their achievement, ��they still had to think of something for the 26th episode, it's not a good thing to do to their fans,  Ellie suddenly released a heavy sigh as she sitting down on the chair

" I'm very proud of what we have done, but that Lizard's Valley was a fantastic experience, If only I had recorded it, Buddy " she wilted slightly.

" Don't worry Ellie " said as he leaned forward " there are alot of thing need to be undiscovered, we'll find something for our new adventure " he stood tall " I'm sure of that " he winked at her ,  she smiled with eyes and mouth

" you're right Buddy!  "

~23rd of December ~

It passed midnight,  the sky was dark allowing only the stars to shining bright,  their brightness had overcomed on the waxing crescent moon's light ,  Ellie sat there wrapping arms around herself gazing at the sky searching for the moon,  she found it after examine the sky over and over using her bare eyes.

Now she could see it,  the waxing crescent moon,  she expected a full moon to meet but she was wrong. It doesn't matter what she had in mind,  all she wanted was sharing her thoughts about Christmas and Santa to the moon whatever it looked like.

" what is the meaning of Christmas?  I mean......... You know.... Kids wake up in the morning to find gifts that their parents put under the Christmas tree and kids are completely believed it was Santa's doing!  Kids live in illusion, fake world......"

Buddy was walking along the carridor on his way to pay the kitchen his nighty visit .

He stopped when he heard a low voice coming from a room, he kept walking and noticed the door to the room slightly opened.

He walked quality up to the door and listened carefully trying to know to whom Ellie was talking with, no other voices besides Ellie's,  he glanced around the room, no one was there just Ellie was sitting in front of the window, she sighed heavily

" Could I possibly find Santa?  Is he really exist?  when did people know about him?  Had anyone seen him in the past so that's why people knew about him?  like Unicorns? " she waited for a moment staring at the moon like if it would give her answers,  her head bowed then she ran a hand through her hair " why I bother my self in these things? " she said as she headed to the door ,  Buddy immediately ran to hide somewhere before Ellie could see him.

~In the morning ~

Her room was warm,  the dewy drops on her windows glass twinkled as the sun ray had touched them.

That sunray wasn't the reason why she woke up for,  but that noise of things moving around the room, she hadn't opened her eyes to see what was causing it instead,  she toke the pillows and covered her face trying to go back to sleep, then all of a sudden, the movement just stopped, she uncovered her face and glanced around the room 'nothing inside the room?  ' she thought to her self.

She turned her face to the other side of the room  to find Buddy sitting next to bed staring right into her eyes,  she screamed as she jumped to the other end of the bed in fright  

" Ah !  Buddy!" she gasped " You scared the hell out of me!  "

Buddy raised his hands up in defense " Oh! I haven't done that on purpose!  I wanted to surprise you " she leaned back on her hands

" you succeed in doing both " she was shaking with laughter then her expression changed ,  she narrowed her eyes

" were you intending  on going somewhere without me? "

he looked down at himself

" Ha?  " then he shook his head

" No!  We do things together, actually we're going in a new adventure " he said it with unblinking focused eye contact,  

her eyes widened

" REALLY! " then she quickly reached to  Buddy " where is  it this time?  " he put his hands on his hips

" we are going to the North Pole searching for... " then  made a finger gun to Ellie to complete his sentence "..searching for.. You mean... Santa ? " he nodded with a smile

" No way!  Are we going to find him? He's some kind of legend, Buddy "

He wrapped his hand around her shoulder " so as everything we recorded in our videos, Ellie , I believe in Santa and he will never stop in  believing in us,  it's our turn to find out the mystery around Santa's existence for those who don't believe in him or for those who stopped believing in him " said as he looked at her sparkle blue eyes  

' will never stop in believe in us!  ' his voice echoed in her head.

Her eyebrows lowered and her eyes squinted with a quick nod

" I'm with you Buddy!  When to go? "

" that's the spirit" said as he pushed her back  

" We are leaving NOW! " he lead her to the door and ran to

where their plane was prepared for the long flight.

They were flying at high altitude, the clouds seemed to be laying on an invisible floor, they intended to cross through the thick dark clouds before the storm begins ,  they could make through it easily and then fly over the storm to meet a completely different climate,  no clouds. Just them and the sun.

They had been in the sky for ages, that what it felt to them so they tried to cross the time by playing chess or re-watching their show until they reached their destination.

Once the plane had touched the icy solid ground,  Buddy and Ellie stood into their positions,  Ellie toke the camera  " A~nd. Action! " Buddy spun  loosely and looked directly into the camera and began " welcome in into the unknown. Here in the North Pole, we all  know stories about an old man who live here and delivers gifts to kids around the world in just one single night!  How he doing that?   but the most important question in mind. Does he really exist?  Today I'll risk my life to find out.

How does that sound Ellie? " a finger pointed at the camera

" Excellent ,  Buddy " said it with a thumbs up then she giggled

' how can he put his famous line like that. Everywhere!  he's really talented ' she thought to herself as  she followed Buddy outside the plane and walked together towards a special vehicle which designed for such a place. Silver, 6 wheels,  4 doors,  it was really big. They stepped into the car and they began their adventure.

They had been driving for along time until they reached a blizzard,  it was a strong one,  Buddy marked to Ellie to record the event,  he began

" a very strong ice blizzard as you see out  there. What do you think?  Are we going to find out what is behind this blizzard?  Is it a sign for us to stay away? .. "

something had hit the window's glass violently then the car started to drifting to the opposite direction instead of moving forward

" I think we have to move faster, Ellie! " said as he jerked his hands backward to balance his feet

" I'm afraid we can't!  We are at top speed the wind is too strong " Ellie stated with tight voice

" then we have to settle the vehicle down. Activate the grappling hooks " his eyebrows was  down and together,  she did as what he told her then she said " that will keep us on the ground until the blizzard blows away "

Both sighed in relief and sat down looking at the snowflakes covering the glass and waited.

~ 45 minutes later ~

The blizzard was gone leaving behind it that wonderful clear sky full of stars,  a clear view of the Great North Star and shower of meteors every second,  no wind,  no clouds just a peaceful place to stare at the beauty of nature,  luckily people don't like to live in such a cold weather and destroy this place,  the Pendergasts had stepped out the car and enjoyed the view,  they held each other hand and leaned their heads on each other shoulder as the northern green lights began to dance in the sky.

They started wide -eyed as everything just doing it's job,  sparkling,  dancing,  fading and appearing .

" you know what,  Ellie?  We should have seen the aurora of Jupiter that day besides Aliens,  the scene is beautiful on Earth!"

"  I believe that our Earth's aurora is the most beautiful one in the entire universe "

" Are you going to record this? "

They whispered to each other.

Both stood stay still unable to look at anything but the sky,  she whispered " Don't worry,  there is a camera attached to my helmet,  just enjoy the moment in silence "

A moment of silence then something suddenly appeared from the sky,  that thing was long as a train and flying !

" Are you getting that Ellie?!  " she followed his finger

"What is that thing?" her voice quivered.

Buddy put a hand on her shoulder and lowered her then raised a finger to his lips " shh!  Keep an eye on this thing to learn more about it "

Both lie down tracing the thing,  it was coming in this way, they looked around to see if there was a place to hide but nothing.

Both stare with their jaw dropped in surprise then  rubbed their eyes " Buddy?  Are we imagining things? " still looking at the sky

" If you are seeing a flying reindeer as I do then,  NO! . This is real! " their eyes were locked on the reindeer until they had landed softly on the ice,  then a figure had stepped out the sliegh and got inside something invisible and dissappeard!  

They watched carefully then Buddy turned to look at Ellie whispering

" where did he go? " Ellie was still surprised and replied " into an invisible place?  Hey look!" she pointed out " The reindeer still out!  let's sneak up over his reindeer and hide inside the sliegh?  How does that sound Buddy? "

He nodded " right behind you

They approached slowly from behind the reindeer and hide inside the sliegh,  they had covered themselves by a blanket

" who would imagine a blanket in such a place, hehe " Ellie giggled as she covered her mouth.

The reindeer started to move towards the invisible place " here we go Ellie! " he whispered as they successfully entered the place.

They glanced around from under the blanket at the place.

It was a very enormous place where magic happened inside,  Elves were deployed everywhere, working,  making,  wrapping the gifts,  Santa was there surrounded by his Elves who had come to welcome him. Then he walked towards his big Earth hologram that showed yellow dots all around the world,  he was proud of his Elves job and wished he could deliver the suitable gifts at time, this time at least.

He sighed,  last year was rough for him, the waning crescent moon meant to show 14% from it's face and also meant a disaster for Santa,  his magical powers came from that moon,  after all the moon had chosen him 175 years ago,  when the job was too easy,  he delivered gifts for... let's say for 6 billions person in 1890.

This year2060  it's 9 billion person!  

He spun the Earth hologram and studied it carefully, his brows furrowed as he leant forward,  he noticed something odd, then hummed then walked away.

" where is he going? " Ellie whispered

" to check on his Elves's work?  Maybe " his forehead wrinked as he stared , they looked at each other for a moment as the silence grew increasingly awkward.

" why everything is strangely quite, ? " Ellie asked

they felt a cold breeze then looked around to find that Elves were surrounding them

" we've been spotted, Buddy!  " then they could hear a familiar laughing came from over their heads " HO HO HO " they watched the old man flying!  Then he coughed and landed heavily on the ground as Buddy and Ellie watched in surprised.

Ellie caught Buddy from the arm

" this laugh " she raised a finger and pointed it at the old man,

"is that... the real  Santa?  " her eyes widened and continued

" No. WAY!  he can fly! "

" HO HO * coughs*  HO , new ability has been unlocked, you still got your  suspicious!  after you have seen all of that, girl! " he wided his arms and spun around as he said that then one of the Elves brought a file,  Santa toke it and opened it then read loudly

" Ellie Pendergasts, you had stopped in  believing in me when you were 10 years old,  because you realized that I'm not real after you saw your parents putting gifts under the Christmas tree,  you're a good person,  why?  How could you simply disbelieve in me? " he leaned forward and looked down at her,  she looked down and away trying not to look at his eyes,  

Buddy put his hands on Ellie's shoulder and whispered to her ears " he's right in front of you,  Ellie you can ask him for explanations at least" he looked up at Santa " Anyone could be Santa? "

Santa looked up thoughtfully

and played with his beard

for a moment and of course he answered with his 'Ho Ho Ho ' laugh and said " Follow me "as he walked away. Both exchanged a confusion look and followed not far behind him  .

He introduced them to his Elves and showed them the workshop and everything inside his place.

Buddy and Ellie were looking around like they're in a school trip with their Jaws dropped nearly touching the ground, hopeful expression on their faces,  actually alot of feeling were rushing inside but that what appeared outside a mixture .

" so.... How do you deliver all of these gifts in one night?  Is the secret related to your reindeer? " Ellie asked as she tilted her head,  

he stopped to tell them " Time Travel " said as he spun around quickly ' not bad for an old man ' Buddy said to himself

" this is crazy!  can you stop the time so you do your job?" Buddy said in an enthusiasm tone as Ellie nodded vigorously at the question " HO HO Time travel is one of the associations that I can access at my current level

' Master Level ' I am capable of teleporting on a plentary scale,  I mean I can go to anywhere further than the distance between Continents,  it's a new ability and I still hadn't tested it out  yet,  175 years of evolution to finally reach this Level.. Why do I have to go to the closet satellite such as the moon while it's easy to do my job here on Earth,  every one likes to celebrate Christmas in their houses on Earth ,  Am I right? "

Ellie exchanged glances with Buddy then both nodded.

Ellie started " So you're telling me that you have this ability and you don't want to use it?  I can't believe that... " Buddy add " what an awesome ability!  unfortunately,  we will not see you doing that in front of our eyes " said sadly and both sighed.

Santa shrugged ' what's going on? Are they trying to make me doing that? really! ' he thought to himself,   they still staring at the ground in disappointing,  

then sighed in defent

' they have to believe in me anyway to make my job easier ' he though to himself again. then he toke few steps towards Ellie as he put his hand on her shoulder leading  her to the hologram

" HO HO HO Okay Ellie!  pick anything from the Earth's orbit,  point it out to me on the hologram"

She giggled as they ran to where the hologram and looked at it.

" come on!  pick something Ellie " Buddy said as he jammed himself between her and Santa.

She spun the hologram 3 times as she covered her eyes with her hands to pick something randomly,  Santa rubbed his hands together then he gasped as Ellie said " there! "

Santa gathered around to take a closer look, he blinked rapidly then stroked his fingers through his white bread and hummed

" Thunderbird Five! "  

Ellie looked at Buddy with opened mouth to find him as shocked as she was

'this is insane,  this is insane ! ' they whispered to each other

Santa closed his eyes tightly and said " Thunderbird 5. One person Inboard,  this is going to be easy "

He opened his eyes and looked at them then another file had flown

to Santa's hand " John Tracy... Hmmm he's a good guy,  he doesn't believe in my 100% but 0.000000000000000001% is a good percentage for me to do my job " he then opened the first page of John's file and prayed

' at least be a simple order. please be a simple wish ' he thought to himself as he started to read the first page. He froze in shock in his place for a moment and swallowed difficulty,  Buddy and Ellie shoot him a glance ' what? '

he cleared his throat "Ehm..." he said nervously " I think I can't fulfill his wish,  I'm sorry "

" WHAT!? " Buddy and Ellie rushed to take the file from Santa's hand and they read it together what was written

"I tried everything and I mean everything   to find my dad and I need a miracle.

Damn you Santa,  wherever you are hidden in the North Pole,  tell me where is Jeff Tracy ( my dad)  or I'll completely disbelief in you,  I want to sleep safe and sound without thinking about my Damn dad every day and avoiding my brothers asks about him "

they looked up at him

" Oh!  So....Okay,  Do you have a plan B for such a situation? " Ellie asked as she handed the file back to Santa he was nervous

" we're here when you need us " Buddy said

Santa shrugged " yeah,  my plan B,  surely he wanted something any time during this year besides that wish " he looked for anything not about (finding Jeff)

' I can't believe that he wanted that so badly!  where I supposed to find him,  his father is out of my reach ' he thought to himself then

he found something " this! "  then he walked away as the folder faded from his hand,  Buddy raised one eyebrow " where are you going?  You don't want to take us with you? "

Ellie folded her arms to her chest " yeah how are we going to know that you go to Thunderbird 5?  " Santa stopped and turn his face to them " it's dangerous and I'm testing out  my new ability " he straightened his back up

" watch the magic happens " then a very bright light appeared which made Buddy and Ellie covered their eyes, when they opened their eyes again to find that

Santa was gone.

" I think he forgot the ' light ' part when he told us to  ' watch ' " Buddy said as he rolled his eyes.

Ellie watched the Earth's hologram carefully " so the red dot is Santa and the gray dote is John "

" woow!  He's actually inside Thunderbird Five!  "

they jumped in the air and did the high five.

~ Inside Thunderbird Five ~

Lights were off,  gravity was on,  John was sleeping and EOS was monitoring things instead,  it's the 24th of December it was a quiet night,  no rescues no monitoring things for the others, no anything ' when it's my turn to monitor,  nothing happens,  when it's John's turn all disasters show up!  Is that how someone treated for trying to help out  ' she thought to herself as she was looking at the hologram. She got outta of that big room and went to the gravity ring and she saw a dark figure, she made a quick scan but that strange thing which she was looking at hadn't appeared in her scans,  she hurried to tell John,  no ship in any kind was docking to TB5  ' Is that possible! ' she whispered " John.. John "

' If only I had arms ' she thought to herself,  this time she called a bit louder " John!  There is something Inboard Thunderbirds five and it hasn't shown  on my scans,  no ships are docked either... Is it a... " John shot

out of bed his eyebrows made a bridge as his shoulder hunched

" No!...  it can't be... EOS.. " he said with eyebrows raised and pulled together

" it's a joke right?  " EOS shook her camera " John This is real. Follow me I know where is that thing and then you teach me about it " John suited up and put his helmet on and brought with him a plastic bag,  he followed her ' gravity is not my thing,  an actual people not my thing now ghosts  oh god! '

EOS cut his thoughts

" there!  behind this door..."

the figure was kneeling, she asked " but why the plastic bag?  I can open the airlock and throw the thing away,  you know?"  John put his hand inside the bag and took out a rotten bagel " I've saved it for emergencies,  luckily I'm wearing my helmet this time , EOS open the door " the door was opened,  the dark figure stood up in fright then John threw the rotten bagle at the figure then closed the door,  the rotten bagle made a dusty cloud as it bursted then suddenly a bright light had came leaving an empty room behind but with only one thing on its floor.

John looked through the door's glass to find a wrapped package on the floor " definitely this wasn't a ghost  EOS "

he sighed in relief as he glared at the package " I can't believe what I am going to say but....... " he giggled " huh it was that Damn Santa! He was really here!  " he quickly ran towards the package with a hopeful expressions on his face

' maybe a sign,  a clue or better a location! ' he thought to himself,  he caught the wrapped package and shook it slightly,  then he slowly opened it,  once he looked at what was inside,  he froze unable to move and fixed his gaze on what was inside the package then he clenched his fists on the box then threw it away, but EOS inactivated the gravity ring so the box hadn't hit the wall,  then John was floating heading back to his room,  EOS didn't understood what had just happened

'what made John shows such a behavior? it's just a gift!

she followed him

" JOHN?  "  but he shut the door behind him locking her outside ,  she returned to see what was inside the wrapped package,  she got inside the room to find a cheese burger floating in the room.

~ At The North Pole ~

Santa's dot spent 1 minute inside TB5. 3 minutes inside all space stations  in orbit.

then his dot dissappeard from space and a familiar light had suddenly showed up from behind the Pendergasts,  this time they didn't turn around to blind their eyes,  then the light died releasing a very exhausted Santa on the floor,  Buddy and Ellie rushed immediately to catch him as well as Elves.

"what happened? " her eyebrows raised and pulled together as she asked,  Santa slouched and moved his head slowly he tried to make his lips say something

" I..uhh.. ..I.. "

Buddy anxiously voice raised then he shook Santa's shoulders  

" you don't dare dying in front of us! Hold on I'll bring you some cookies and milk! "

Buddy hurried to find cookies.

Then Santa could make out what he was trying to say " I really wish I could do it this year" he said in a weak voice as he stared into the voide,  Ellie bit on her lower lip and her eyes turned glossy with tears " Don't say that.. " her voice shuttered " please.. "

" I'm sorry"

then a tear fell on the floor as he closed his eyes .

Buddy had returned then stood staring at him in shock,  he shut his eyes and walked to reached Ellie, she buried her face with her hands and cried,  Buddy wrapped his hands around Ellie then she hugged him as he closed his eyes,  she said in a heavy voice

" How?!... He's.. some kind of... immortal!  He... He can’t simply die... like that " tears still running down her cheeks,  Buddy was still shutting his eyes and spoke

" we made him doing that. It's our fault,  we have to do something,  this is not over yet " he opened his eyes to find more Elves coming for Santa then they lifted him up and walked ,  He shook her shoulder gently to make her see what was happening,  she lifted her head up and whipped her tears away.

one of the Elves marked to them to come over with them ,  they exchanged a worried look as they stood up to follow the crowd.

they walked in a long carrador until reached an enormous gate ,  Elves could open the gate with the helping of  each others.

The gate slowly opened and showed that enormous chamber 3 walls out of 4 were a magical glass they could see what was behind the glass but nothing possibly could see through to see what was iniside  the room but the moonlight could.

All Elves hurried to sit Santa on the chair near the light of the moon,  Buddy and Ellie narrowed their eyes as they watched them doing that " why you have put him on a chair?  " Buddy's eyebrows narrowed " Hey Buddy!  Look! " Ellie was standing in front of that one solid wall of the room,  a wall engraved with pictures and symbols  all over the wall,  Buddy spun around at the voice

" what have you found? " he quickly walked towards her " it's a hidden message as I expect " she pointed her fingers at something

" this thing seems to be the moon!"

He stepped closer to have a better look " Is that why Elves had put Santa on the chair? To be closer to the moon? " he said as he looked up at the moon and back down at the chair then he turned to face the wall again " it's not just for him to be closer,  look! their is another sign here " Ellie leaned forward to see,  he explained " this one looks like Santa and the moonlight hits him then look here " he pointed his finger to another symbol

" he got his powers!  " Ellie's eyes widened,  Buddy continued

" and that means... "

" that means I can recharge my powers from the moon "

Both spun around quickly at the voice and both said in a surprised tone

"SANTA!"

they smile with eyes and mouth and ran towards Santa with opened arms and hugged himtightly,  Buddy broke the huge and stepped back " you scared us to death,  why was all the drama!"

Ellie got her self free and said

" you're alive!  we're sorry,  we made you doing all that,  we're really sorry " her shoulders slumped down " I'm so sorry too " Buddy bowed his head as he approached him and put his hand on Santa's shoulder "how could we fix things for you?  we told you we are going to help you when you need us "

Santa looked at them " at my current condition I think I need help " said with a worried look on his face

" luckily you're her at least I knew what is the purpose of your appearance,  the moon had chosen both of you to help me this time " Buddy shot him a questioned look " this time? "

Ellie looked in furrowed brows

" what do you mean? "

Santa aimed his gaze at the wall

" I was a normal human before the moon had chosen me 175 years ago,  but at nights like this" he stared up at the waxing crescent moon

"It chooses normal people to help me out" he stopped for a second to take a break then he sighed

"for giving you an answer to your first question you asked me when we first met,  Ellie . The moon chose your parents to help me when you were 10 years,  they hadn't fooled you,  they were doing their job " Ellie's eyes widened in shock

"and for answering your question, Buddy,  yeah anyone could become a Santa,  but temporary "  

Ellie still stood frozen in her place with wide eyes and raised eyebrows and said with a stuttered voice " they..... I.... I can't believe " Santa put a hand on her shoulder " you both are going to be Santa for.... " Buddy pumped fist  in air

" yes! We're the Santas of the year, Ellie!  " said as Santa looked at his watch ".. For 3 hours before the nearest sunrise "

She stood up quickly " We don't have much time!  How are we going to this ! " said with a worried tone,  Santa had successfully raised out from his chair at least the moon had charged him to give him the strength to do this,  then he walked towards the wall and pressed something on it  and the whole wall opened like a door !  both kept their eyes locked at the it's opened

" woow" they said with a sparkling eyes.

blue and white lights shined as it opened and then they could see Santa's suits hanging from the ceiling,  Santa got inside the room and said

" you need to wear these Suits and they shall give you abilities" both nodded with approval then Santa aimed his finger at the suit which where on his left " this suit shall give who wears it the power of ' Remote Teleportation '...... "

" I'll take it! " Ellie jumped,  Santa blinked " oh!  Okay " said as handed it to her " you can by wearing it teleport others or anything away even your self but it requires physical contact " Ellie had worn the oversized suit then it suddenly seized it's self to fit Ellies's  size , her eyes widened "woow! How do I look , Buddy? " she asked as she spun around to show off

" Fascinating!"  he winked at her then turned to face Santa

" So what about me? "

Santa gave him the remained suit " Now,  this one is different , it allows you to summoning things from a far  place to another or create a barrier that teleports anything you want,  in another word your ability is not for short distance "

Buddy toke it and wore it immediately.

" so it's like incomplete ability? "

Santa shot them a serious look

" sort of,  Now you have got 2 hours and half left before the nearest sunrise,  I have delivered half of the presents,  so this job would be easy for you ,  you can take my reindeer  "

Buddy looked at him with a wide smile "  No need"

Santa looked surprised,  Buddy continued " I'll create a barrier to teleport us through it to the cities"

he exchanged glances with Ellie, she nodded  " yeah!  And I get inside houses and put the gifts under the Christmas trees " she said with a smile

" couldn't be simpler! Just Show me where do you put your finished gifts " Buddy asked,  Santa gazed at them in disbelief

' how I haven't thought of that! Next time I will do that ' he thought to himself then replied

" my Elves will guide you to there,  I barely can stand, so  I'll back to rest and charge my powers " he turned back to where the chair had been as Elves guided them to the door and left Santa there then once they had left the chamber the gate closed leaving Santa alone with some cookies and milk inside.

They reached the room where the finished works were waiting for delivering,  everything was sorted in sections: this for Asia, Australia, Africa and America... Every continent section had it's presents under it's name.   

" this is a way easier than what I expected! " said Buddy with a wide smile as he fooled his arms around his chest " so first we have to go to Asia" he walked to where Asia section was,  there was a huge mountain of wrapped packages  he stood and released his arms on his sides in surprise

" How are you going to teleport these? " Ellie asked with widened eyes,  Buddy shrugged " uh..I .. We.. We don't have to take them all at once.....let me create that barrier which Santa has told us about "

he moved his arms around in circles as some crinkles appeared around his eyes and nose then did some jumping and Kong fo kicking in the air then he landed on the floor and knelt down

" what are you doing? " she shoot him a look with one eyebrow raised " We don't have time for your dancing skills " Ellie lowered her eyebrows

" I'm trying to create that teleportation tunnel! " he said with a clenched teeth " or whatever it's name "

she shaked her head as she rolled her eyes and grabbed him from the arm " you will figure out how to do that later "  then she toke a big bag then they disappeared.

~ somewhere in Earth ~

A bright light had appeared then Ellie and Buddy showed up.

They looked around to find an unusual quite city with all lights went off,  snow was everywhere on the street lights on the building's roofs,  streets and that huge lighted Christmas tree,  a few cars had passed by.

Buddy rubbed his eyes " woow!  How did you do that? " she started to walk then Buddy toke the bag and followed her " I imagined ourselves in a place then closed my eyes then with a flinch of an eye boom we are here! " said with a smile

as they reached a building,  Ellie looked up as Buddy blinked at what she had just said " so.. it was... that easy.. after all? " he put a hand behind his head

"When did you learn that? " he said as they suddenly were on the top of the building,  Buddy was still walking his legs leading him forward but his gaze locked on her " maybe my suit is ruined... "  

he didn't noticed the change of place as he slowly approaching the end of the roof,  Ellie warned him " Buddy!  Stop! " he continued

" or maybe my suit is dependents on the moo..wooaaaaww! "

 Buddy hunched his shoulders and held his breath when he saw how far the ground was

Ellie immediately ran to  caught him from  the arm and pulled him toward her before he stepped another step to his death

" I think you have to focus on your surroundings Buddy " said said as Buddy let his breath out

" have I told you how I am lucky to have you by my side" he said as he released his breath

" Buddy I need you to focus,  all you have to do is imagining the tunnel or a barrier  "

" HO. Kay "

Buddy furrowed his brows and concentrate on imagine that barrier then a second later

a hole started to appear in the ground showing what was in the other side,  Ellie's face lighted up with happiness " Buddy you were right about your suit!  " Ellie said with an opened mouth " I knew it "

"you could create a hole here,  it's a short distance! "

Buddy opened his eyes " what!"

She knelt and looked through it as Buddy did the same

" and it's still opened!  so here's the plan: you're going to enter the hole to the room and put the gifts then you separate the tunnel to get in every house in this city or whatever you want to do "

" and you will teleport yourself " he gave her the gifts bag

" you need it,  if you runs out of gifts you can tell me to summon more gifts for you"  Buddy said,  she toke it with a nod

" I'll meet you in Santa's place after saving this Christmas "

He nodded with approval and stood up " time to get to work! "

She said as a bright light had come and then she disappeared,  he did what he supposed to do.

They travelled  around the world delivering the gifts.

~ meanwhile in Tracy island ~

This year It's not Scott's responsibility to decorate the house for Christmas and it's not Virgil duty to buy gifts,  this year it's Gordon and Alan turn to do this job even if it was hot here in this tropical island.

Alan and Gordon had just finished decorating the house and everything but they didn't bring a Christmas tree,  Virgil didn't allowed them to take her to the mainland after Alan had  burned her face.

" what's the point of doing that,  again? " Alan rolled his eyes " we can't bring a Christmas tree and Both of us are not allowed to pilot Thunderbird two,  this is useless "

" we are not allowed to pilot her but that doesn't mean we can't be around her,  you know " Gordon turned away to the stairs that leads to Thunderbird Two hanger

" why are you going on that way?" Alan furrowed his brows then Gordon turned his face to show Alan his evil grin,  with that light lighting that surrounded them Gordon eyes were really really red like the last time when they were together with the Pendergasts on Jupiter's frozen moon ' Oh god be with me. why I am the only one who sees this demonic eyes!  why! This is gonna be my last night on this life Virgil the gorilla will kill me ' he prayed internally " okay I'm with you... Ughh"

Alan followed Gordon as he holding his tablet and recording his last words

' Cool!  I'm walking right to the place where it shall be my grave wearing Santa's outfit as well as Gordon they think that Gordon is babysitting me but actually I'm his babysitter,  he dragged me to my Destiny by the name of responsibility,  I'm writing my last words to warn you,  DO NOT LOOK INTO HIS EYES '

Alan didn't see Gordon stopped so he hit his face at Gordon head from behind " ouch! Watch it little Santa " as he put his hand on his head

" oh sorry,  so what is your plan? "

Gordon started to explain,  Alan toke his tablet again and spoke ' I asked him about his plan. He wants to.... Wants to ' Alan turned around in shock and yelled

" WHAT?!  NO NO VIRGIL IS 1000000% IS GOING TO KILL US!  NO WAY GORDON I'M LEAVING " Gordon caught from the arm and pulled him back and looked at him ' I'm not gonna look at that Damn eyes,  I'm not gonna.. '

" Alan this is our apportunity to pay back he had drawn a third eye to your painting you looked awful don't you want to do that?" Alan opened his eyes and looked right into his red eyes ' how his eyes are red what is the explanation! '

Gordon put his hands on Alan's shoulders staring at him intensely

"Alan.. I'll take all of the blame if you want,  I promise I'm not gonna tell anyone but please help me with this,  deal? "

Alan lifted his chin up " not gonna happen unless you.. " he lifted his hand and counted " 1 clean my room. 2 clean my bird. 3 lift me up when I don't want to walk. 4 be my loyal Waiter. 5 eat the cookies that grandma services to me. You will do that for 2 weeks " Gordon eyes widened in shock " this is away to much,  do you want to kill me I barely survive after drinking her juice!  " Alan turned around and walked away and threw a dismissive hand waving " then there's No deal " Gordon clenched his jaw and stared at Alan's back as his footsteps echoed as he walked away ' I'm now laying pressure on him to let him  fulfill my wishes haha he thinks he will run away from me,  oh I'm a devil too hehe.. '  

" Hey Alan!  " Gordon's voice echoed through Thunderbird two's  hanger walls  " I'll tell Virgil what you have done to his valuable painting which he spent 72 hours painting it " Alan froze at his place in awe and slowly swallowed

' how did he know about that!'

then turned around with his hands up to Gordon who was standing under the only Illuminated

area in the hanger

"Okay!  okay!  No need to mention that,  got it... Okay Deal... where to start? "

Gordon clenched hands above his head as he lead the way then he stopped " over here Take this,  this paint will make TB2 glowing,  we have our reason after all "

He handed the paint to Alan " so TB2 is our Christmas tree?  but why don't we just decorat it with LED lights?  This way is simpler"

Gordon made his way to one of these Preparing Arms " Painting her is the easiest way,  where will we find LED rope to decorate her?  We just will put this glowing green paint on the capacitors and the arms will do the job while we sit down and watching " Alan nodded " okay point taken "

They put the glowing paint in the arms and it started to spraying the paint on Thunderbird Two hull then a tiny painting drop landed exactly on the center of Gordon’s eye when he was watching,  he roured like a dragon

" AAAAAAAH! Paint IN my Eyes !  Aaah " Alan fall his back laughing at Gordon " that's why artists call it PAIN-ting Gordo! " he ran to the kitchen and Alan followed him to continue laughing at him.

As they reached the kitchen a bright light had appeared suddenly " Great! . Now I'm blind like Gordon! " said as he caught Gordon to dock behind the kitchen bar " what is it Alan? "

Alan glanced from behind the kitchen bar to find something walking slowly inside the house

" remember when I told you I fought an alien once? " he whispered,  Gordon nodded in agreement,  he continued

" I think I will do this again but this time together! "

Gordon cleaned his eye from the paint then they exchanged

' the slayer look '

Both stood up and said at the same time

" I'll bring the salt "said Alan

" I'll bring water " said Gordon

Both looked at each other

" Both?"

"both "

" okay a salty water then  " Gordon said then Alan mixed them together. They turned around to throw it at the alien but it wasn't there " to the lounge!"

They slowly headed to the stairs before they approached the final steps Gordon said

" I'll distract it and you throw this at it " Alan stood up

" or I just throw it without that first part " said as he threw the salty water at the alien,  the mixture hit the back of the alien head " ouch! "

" Aliens don't say 'ouch' " Gordon said

" I'm going to... " Alan's jaw dropped when he saw something appearing from the thin air next to the first alien " what? " Gordon lifted his head higher to see " oh it brought a back-up!  " the aliens started to walk to where Gordon and Alan were hiding. Gordon toke Alan's arm and ran,  the aliens asked

" where is your Christmas tree?"

Gordon stopped immediately at the voice then turned around to see " Buddy?  Ellie?  " Alan tried to break Gordon's grab " they're trying to.... "

" Gordon! and Alan!  "

Gordon glared at them in disbelief then turned to see Alan

"see! they're the real Pendergasts!"

" tell us where is your Xmas tree quickly we don't have much time!" Ellie's said  with increase pitch in voice

"It's... "  Alan stepped on Gordon's foot and shot him the look ' are you serious!' Gordon cleared his throat " we don't have one, sorry" then he glanced Alan by the corner of his eyes ' satisfied?'  

Buddy summoned the remained gifts packages and put them on the floor " our job here is done"

Gordon toke a few steps towards them " wait!  What!?  Where are you going?  How did you do that!"  

Ellie put her hand on Buddy's shoulder as both of them waved to Gordon and Alan and said

" Merry Christmas to you " and dissappeard.

" Definitely Aliens I told you" Alan pushed his chest out and looked at Gordon who was his back shaking " Gordon?  Are you okay?" he slowly walked to check on Gordon " Gordon? " he put his hand on him then Gordon stood up with a laugh then danced " they said merry Christmas to me! this is the best thing ever happened to me " then he shaked Alan from the shoulders "ever ever ever... "

Alan pushed Gordon away " this is the last time I be Santa with YOU" he walked away and headed to his room then the sun raised leaving Gordon in the lounge.

Buddy and Ellie had reached the North Pole just in time as their suits gave a bright light then dissappeard,  they wiped away the sweat from there foreheads with heavy breathing and sat down on the floor " we made it?" Buddy  asked still not believe and looked at Ellie,  she glanced around the empty storing room with opened mouth " huh we made it Buddy!  We MADE IT!! " they hugged each other and laughed then lay down on the floor staring at the high ceiling and breathed,  Ellie said still staring at the ceiling " what made you think of searching for Santa? It is a brilliant idea, Buddy "

" it was your idea , Ellie. You are the brilliant one here " he replied sweetly as he reached out his finger to gave her a little peck on her nose. She blushed brightly

" thank you Buddy you're the best"  he put his arm behind her head and hugged her " haha I know " they stayed like that for a moment then Ellie suddenly jerked out from his arm and stood up " Santa!  We have to go and tell him we have done this job!"

" Don't worry he's already here" he pointed his finger at Santa who was walking towards them with opened arms " HO HO HO " they ran to him " you did a great job at delivering all gifts to the world how was it? "

" it was tough even with the suits"

Ellie answered while playing with her hair " we were two to do the job and you're just a single one to deliver all of these mountains to people around the world you're.. "

Santa shook his head with a knowing smile, Buddy completed Ellie's sentence " you're a legend "

They remained at Santa's place and enjoyed the Christmas day with him.

~ Back to Tracy Island ~

Gordon left the gifts at the lounge room and went to sleep ' all the fun begin at night hehe ' thought to himself as he lay on the bed.

everyone woke up and started the day strangely without a day rescues until the night had fallen.

" now it's time to open the gifts " Gordon opened the bag and took his gift he opened it quickly

" what is your present,  Gordon? "

He looked at it then answered" not gonna tell you it's special" Virgil looked from behind Gordon's shoulder " huh it's really special " he giggled,  all of them rushed to see it Scott toke it from Gordon's arms and read loudly

" 'how to make Lady Penelope notice me '?! " he looked down at Gordon his face turned extremely red like a tomato then he handed it back to him.

" okay Gordon read to us to us the first page " Virgil looked at him with a half smile

" shut up Virgil! " he opened the book to find just one single page, he blinked " what is written on it?"

They asked,  he replied slowly

" DO. NOT. TRY. TO. MAKE. HER. NOTICE. YOU. BE. YOUR. SELF "

They all laughed at it

then Alan turned to call John

" hey John!  What was your Christmas present? "

Johh rolled his eyes and ended the call.

~ few seconds later ~

John's hologram appeared again

" guys we have a situation, it requires Thunderbird One and Two.  I'll tell you the details while you are in the air "

" FAB" Virgil and Scott said at the same time headed to suit up while Alan and Gordon sitting down on the couch watching them until they go.

Alan turned to look at Gordon with his hands clenched behind his head " So... it was nice to meet you Gordon "

Gordon ran to see the Lighted

pool while it was moving under the house " it was nice to meet you too Alan " then Thunderbird One appeared from under the pool and straight to the dark sky " at least I got to see this before Virgil kills me " he sighed

"Thunderbird Are... " Scott said as he straightened his bird next to Virgil's " GLOW! "

" nice Christmas joke Scott" Virgil said as he rolled his eyes,  Scott hadn't commented so he looked out his window to see a green glowing reflected on Thunderbird One silver hull and screamed

"GORDON "

Gordon and Alan kept watching as the glowing green turtle sank into a tiny dot on the horizon then Vanished.

[verdelet]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen, M/M Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Fix-it fic, Shippy but it can be friendship if you close one eye, Oda survives, Dazai shows up in time, Oda Needs A Hug, Dazai Needs A Hug, Comfort No Hurt, Kunikida Doppo (Brief), Atsushi Nakajima (Brief)

Language:English Series: Part 1 of the Another World, Another Story series Published: 2016-11-10 Completed: 2016-12-26 Words: 5163 Chapters: 4/4

Summary: Oda knows he's going to die. That's fine though, because it hurts and he can't risk losing more.

It's perfect, like the end of a performance. Both actors down to the last gun, the last magazine, the last bullet. Harmonious, as though they'd rehearsed this a million times. Synchronised, face-to-face, muzzle-to-chest. Trigger fingers tensing-  "Odasaku!"

Chapter 1: History Retold

It's perfect, like the end of a performance. Both actors down to the last gun, the last magazine, the last bullet. Harmonious, as though they'd rehearsed this a million times. Synchronised, face-to-face, muzzle-to-chest. Trigger fingers tensing-

"Odasaku!"

Gide jerks back, falling to a crouch. The wall cracks as a bullet pierces through the plaster. His arm snaps to the side-

"No," Oda thinks, Ability translating thought to future to vision. A split second shift, what-will-be becoming what-could-have-been. Only a second, only one second, and it's enough for Gide to swing his arm back to Oda-

Twin shots fire. Pain, red hot and burning, sears his flesh.

"... Absolutely perfect, Sakunosuke," Gide rasps, his smile bloody and serene.

The ever-shifting visions, the conversation that could have been, severs. The words Gide never said echo in the silence, loud in the stillness.

Gide falls to the side, blood spreading on his cloak. The world does an extremely unhelpful spin. Oda barely registers the shock of his knees hitting cracked marble. Too focused on the searing pain in his side, clawing at torn nerves and flesh, breath lodging in his throat-

"Odasaku, you absolute idiot," someone curses at him.

"Dazai," the name tears itself from his lips, and in the haze, he realises that he's alive. He's alive.

"You idiot," Dazai snaps back, as though Oda hadn't heard him the first time. "You nearly- It's gone right through- Why on earth are you smiling??"

Funny, he doesn't think he's ever heard Dazai sound so hassled before.

Dazai shrugs off his coat, folding it messily and pressing it against the bullet holes. The pain stabs into him with a vengeance and forces a grunt out of him, cutting right through the high. His hand fumbles, holding Dazai's coat in place. The other arm gets over the back of Dazai's shoulders, pulling his weight against his friend's side.

"Odabaka," Dazai hisses, hands fisting in Oda's shirt and squeezing hard around his wrist.

"Y-Yeah..." he manages, struggling to keep his feet under him as he's pulled up. Black flickers at the edges of his vision, the floor shifting under him even though he hasn't moved an inch.

"Don't you dare, Odasaku," Dazai growls, and the first step is almost too much to handle. He's had worse though, so he steels himself. Forcing his feet forwards against their will.

"Yessir," he grits out. At any other time, Dazai would tease him for the title. At any other time, Oda would crack a smile. As it is, it's all he can do to hold onto consciousness. He's bruised and more than a little broken, ribs aching in a way that suggests cracks. Bullet grazes sting worse as adrenaline gives way to fatigue.

Even with Dazai's help, the trek to the entrance is a slow process. A silver van pulls up at the entrance of the mansion, barely decent enough to not scream "mafia". The suits and conspicuous guns in the van most definitely scream "mafia". Oda lets them drag him in anyway. He's aware of Dazai right behind him, a familiar presence close to his shoulder.

Blood loss and shock drags him under even before he hits the leather seats.

"... -impressive, indeed. How many men were there?" Who...?

"Close to thirty, not including the leader. Most of them had been shot, but one of the rooms showed signs of an explosion, likely caused by grenades." Da... zai...?

"Ngh..." Whatever he'd been trying to say slurs into a single sound, his lips gummed together by sleep. It's hard to open his eyes, his head full of cotton and coiling haze. The ceiling swims into focus, white and painful. Hospital...?

"Odasaku." Dazai's voice calls his name, and Oda tilts his head to the side. Dazai's next to him, perched on the visitor's chair with crossed arms.

"Dazai..." His throat feels like absolute shit, and his voice sounds it, dry and rasping. Someone steps forwards, and he blinks a few times just to make sure he's actually awake. "Boss...?"

"Good morning, Oda-kun." Ougai smiles that 'you're not going to die yet' smile, which is a good sign he supposes. "How are you feeling?"

"... Not in pain," he answers after a moment. Which is true, and surprising for some reason.

"That would be the morphine," Dazai informs him, and Oda notes that yes, Dazai is still pissed at him. He wonders when that had become less terrifying and more worrying.

"You did well in subduing Mimic, Oda-kun," Ougai praises, but Oda is noting the way Dazai holds himself still. "It's somewhat unorthodox, but I believe that you could receive quite a promotion for your achievement."

"Thank you, Boss..." His head feels too fuzzy to fully process the words. His tongue feels stupidly heavy even as his brain cells work overtime to unscramble themselves. The morphine isn't helping in the least. "I... I'll take it into consideration."

"That's all I ask for, Oda-kun," Ougai murmured. Oda decides that mentioning Ougai had also asked him to investigate a certain triple agent is a possible bad idea, and keeps quiet instead. "I have to be off now, but do give me your response soon."

And just like that, the leader of Port Mafia sweeps out of his room, leaving an uncomfortable silence in his wake. Oda stares at the door for a while, then looks up at the corner of the ceiling. He turns his attention to the bedside table, and what he can see of it without lifting his head. His guns are there, which means Mimic's hideout had been cleared completely while he'd been unconscious.

Dazai still hasn't moved. Oda finally looks at him, but all that's visible is his hair and the ever-present bandages around Dazai's head.

"I know I'm an idiot." If it had been possible, Oda would have sagged into the pillows he's laying on. Dazai doesn't so much as twitch, but Dazai's trained not to twitch anyway.

"If I had been even a second late, Oda," Dazai says quietly, and it's the proper use of his name that clues him in to how shaken his friend is.

"Yeah..." His side doesn't ache, but his arms feel like limp noodles- all efforts to move them go to waste. "Thank you, Dazai."

"Do you really think that that's enough?" Dazai still isn't looking at him. It's a terrible time for Oda to not be able to move, all in all.

"No. Feel free to cuff me to the bed so I don't anything else that's stupid." As far as jokes go, it's terrible and somewhere around half-sincere. Dazai huffs, a laugh and a snort rolled into one. A small victory, at the very least, maybe worth a third of a point.

"Why did you go alone?" The rawness in Dazai's voice takes Oda by surprise. He turns barely in his chair, gaze is locked somewhere around Oda's knees, fingers curled into the faintly rumpled material of his pants. Distantly, Oda wonders whether he'd gotten any sleep or eaten a decent meal in the last twenty four hours.

"I couldn't risk waiting." It'd be easier to look up at the ceiling, fluorescent lights bright and glaring. Let it never be said he takes the easy way though, because he's straining to catch a better glimpse of Dazai's face. "I couldn't risk Gide sending another invitation."

It's strange. He remembers all too clearly, the freezing anger in his veins when he'd killed Gide's men. Yet in that timeless world where their Abilities had met, anger had turned to understanding. Not forgiveness, never forgiveness, but the hate had lost its razor sharp edge.

"But alone...?" Dazai tips his head forwards, expression is hidden behind the fall of his hair. The question is clear though, behind the hurt that laces each word.

"I couldn't risk you." With the kids gone, he only has one person left in this world. Given a chance to change things, he knows he wouldn't have decided any differently. "Dazai, you're a genius, but I couldn't risk you. I can't when you're..."

Maybe it's the morphine, but he doesn't think he's ever felt so open before. Dazai draws in a sharp breath, head tilting in his direction. It's still not enough for Oda to see the face Dazai makes, but it's still enough. Dazai knows.

"... And what do you think you are to me, Odasaku?" There's an edge there, something close enough to a challenge that Oda takes his time assessing his response. His thoughts drift to the arms holding him up, the voice by his ear cursing at him and keeping him conscious at the same time. The same voice that had nearly broken down the middle of his name when they'd stood in front of the kids' pyre.

"I didn't know at first," he breathes at last. "I never wanted to assume..." It's a struggle to free his arm from the blanket. He must have been out for at least four days to be this weak... Still, he manages to leave his arm lying on top of the blanket, palm up in offering.

"You... really need to work on your self-worth, Odasaku," Dazai whispers back, but he's reaching out to hold Oda's hand. His palm is warm against Oda's, their fingers lacing together.

"Ahah... I might need some help with that, if you don't mind..." He hasn't been awake for half an hour, but he's already feeling tired again. Dazai squeezes his hand, an answer and an assurance, and Oda doesn't fight the smile that curls the corners of his lips.

He doesn't let go of Dazai's hand, but Dazai doesn't let go of his either.

Chapter 2: A Brighter Future

The days pass slowly. There's a routine, now that Oda is conscious. A nurse comes in every morning at eight to change the bandages with fresh ones. Dazai usually chooses to saunter in during this time, taking his usual seat by the bed and watching the nurse too closely for her comfort.

"We match now," he'd told Dazai once, gesturing at the white stretched around his middle and the square patch on his cheek. Dazai had insisted that Oda simply could not pull off the 'beautiful while injured' look, and neither of them comment on the obviously feigned disinterest of the nurse.

After that, he's given breakfast and he prods Dazai into eating half of it.

"I wouldn't make you if you actually ate proper meals," Oda points out, and Dazai eats the other half of Oda's pudding cup too in retaliation. Oda doesn't stop him.

Dazai leaves after that to sort out whatever dirty deeds the mafia has lined up for him, and Oda is left alone.

He has books at least, novels Dazai had brought over from Oda's place. He doesn't recall ever handing his keys to Dazai, but things like locked doors have never stopped Dazai before. There's a few from what he thinks is Dazai's own collection, and he finds a strange sort of amusement from No Longer Human. The cover of the novel is worn, the pages curled slightly at the corners, and he wonders how often Dazai had thumbed through these pages. He pictures slim fingers turning the pages, the quiet focus of dark brown as they take in printed words, and it's an image he finds he doesn't want to let go of.

Natsume Souseki's novels are there too, Oda recognises them as his own copies by the broken spines and the old coffee stain on one of the covers. He's certain that, if tested, he would be able to recite each volume, line by line. They're ingrained into his memory, countless hours trying to understand each character to picture some sort of appropriate resolution lending him a near-perfect knowledge of the script. Still, they welcome him like an old friend when he turns the pages, and he thinks of the old metal chair and the patter of rain against the window close to his ear. The hospital bed is too far away, and the weather forecast predicts only sunshine for the rest of the week, but it's peaceful nonetheless.

By the fourth day since he woke up, he reaches the last volume again. Once again, the novel ends too soon, and once again Oda traces the last line with a finger, as though the ink may whisper its secrets against his skin. It's different this time, he notes. Not the words, but his perception of them. An incomplete end. Of course, for those alive would only know what they experienced up to their present. For those still alive, there is no end. Not yet. Not for a while.

"'Humans live to save themselves. They know this when they die.'" His voice is the only one in the room, but he wonders if it will reach the old man who had taught a child hitman to live. "Thank you."

To write novels is to write about humans. To control how they live, and how they die.

He doesn't think he's ready to put pen to paper yet, but that doesn't mean there aren't other ways of writing.

He's awake when Dazai slips in the next morning. The nurse comes in a few minutes later, and they sit in silence until she leaves again, breakfast set out on table.

"Odasaku, what are you thinking?" Dazai asks once the door has clicked shut, and Oda doesn't even try to feign innocence. Instead, he shifts to the side so Dazai can sit next to him, perched on the edge of the bed.

"I want to leave." That's not all though, and he holds up a hand before Dazai can respond. "Working with the mafia... isn't something I can keep doing. Dazai, I want you to come with me."

Upon hindsight, Oda thinks he could have counted the number of times he's seen Dazai speechless even if both his hands had been cut off. Now though, there's no mistaking the way Dazai stares at him, mouth slightly open.

"You said it before..." Somehow, he doesn't feel worried at all. Maybe it's almost dying, maybe it's the time he's spent reflecting, but he feels ready. Certain in a way he hasn't before. "That you want to find a reason to live. That stepping close to the core of human nature might fill that hole in yourself."

"I did... but what-" Dazai stops when Oda cups the side of his head. Their eyes meet, and Oda refuses to look away.

"It's not here, Dazai," he says as gently as he knows how, and watches the way Dazai's eyes widen. "That hole you have in yourself can't be filled by anything in this world. Nothing will ever truly meet your expectations and if you stay here, you'll be trapped in the darkness forever."

"Odasaku... what..." Dazai trails off, thrown so far off-track it's obvious even to Oda. He stills, not even breathing for a worryingly long moment. Then his breath stutters out, hand coming up to rest over Oda's almost subconsciously, and Oda is reminded of how painfully lost Dazai likes to pretend he isn't. "How do you... know that...?"

"I'm your friend, aren't I?" He smiles. It feels so strange, the knowledge that he can consider himself as such. A gift he can only repay by proving himself over and over. It's a payment he doesn't think he'll ever mind. "Of course I know."

For the first time, Dazai looks away. Oda can read the doubt there, a child stumbling in the dark for so long that any light would burn him. But even the burns would be a mark of hope, he thinks. Once the shadows have fallen apart to let the child create his own light.

"You want me to come with you?" Dazai is quiet, more uncertain that Oda's ever heard before.

"Saving or killing people... You don't feel a thing either way." Dazai's looking at him as though seeing him for the first time, and Oda hurts thinking about how lonely his partner has been. I'm sorry I've kept quiet for so long. "So choose the right path with me. You may not care about justice or evil... but becoming a better person is such a wonderful thing, Dazai."

"Odasaku.... You weren't kidding when you said you were going to be a writer." Dazai smiles, and that's all the answer Oda needs.

"We can write our own stories together," he murmurs, and means it. Their stories, their lives, they'll write it down into time itself so that no one will ever forget they were here.

Chapter 3: Looking Forwards

"You owe me one," Dazai tells him, eye glinting in a way Oda knows better than to trust. It's not like he can deny it, though it doesn't mean he won't try.

"Why can't you just wash it?" It gets him exactly the response he wants. Dazai's expression scrunches up, looking as though Oda had just insulted the creator of linen bandages.

"Odasaku, that's gross," Dazai says flatly. There's no bite though, no sign that it's too soon to joke about almost getting killed, and Oda is grateful. Some sixth sense whispers of rough nights ahead of them, but he can handle those so long as he has this.

"It's cost-efficient," he counters, even as Dazai makes a show of not listening to him and instead goes traipsing off into the shop. Oda revels in the warmth unfurling in his chest, studying the sleek coats and leather satchels draped over mannequins in the display window before following suit.

Dazai's got his hands stuffed into the pockets of a sandy brown trenchcoat half an hour later, the coattail swishing heavily as he spins around on a heel to grin at Oda. The crystal on his bolo tie glints, blue like the sky above them and just as bright.

"At least wear it properly..." It's money well-spent, so he can't begin to sound as petulant as he wants. It's amazing to watch, really. With the decision to leave, both of them had abandoned their homes. Packing only what they needed into Oda's car and withdrawing as much cash as they could without drawing attention. They have about a week before the mafia notices. It's just enough time to get most of their funds out, and hopefully find a place they can lay low in.

Even with the shopping list of things they have to do, Dazai's readying himself for whatever task he's lining up, pulling on a persona that's familiar as much as it isn't. It's the lackadaisical behaviour Oda's used to seeing, taken to another level. It's a persona that hides the cold genius, but Oda is well-aware that Dazai isn't suppressing it at all. Just keeping it back so that others underestimate the abilities of an eighteen-year-old mafia executive.

There's a lightness in his steps Oda doesn't think is entirely false though, and that's what he marvels at as they walk side by side.

"There's a man we can meet tonight," Dazai informs him, fiddling with the cuffs of the trenchcoat. "He'll get us a place to work at."

"Is it a surprise?" They'd agreed that Dazai would pick their jobs. In all honesty, Oda would have been happy with almost anything honest, but well... Following Dazai had always been interesting and he knows that whatever Dazai signs them up for will be no different.

"Of course~" Dazai rubs his palms together, looking like a child about to raid a candy store. Actually, now that Oda thinks about it, Dazai looks like he's about to raid a pharmacy. "We have a few hours until then, so there's time to perfect our new looks."

"... Do I have to?" As one, they look at Oda's outfit. The only difference is that he's lacking his coat, and that's only because it's too torn and bullet-ridden to be used ever again. It's a loss he truly feels should be mourned.

"True, Odasaku already does look like a good law-abiding citizen..." Dazai contemplates aloud, then bops a fist into his palm. "How about a black coat to make you look like a thug?"

Oda considers that for a second, then shrugs. "As long as my holster harness fits, I won't complain."

"Oh? And how do you know you'll need your guns?" Dazai sidles close, the motion accompanied with a ridiculous eyebrow waggle, but it quickly melts into a laugh with the look Oda levels on him.

"I know you," Oda points out, and is startled by the pleasant surprise that lights up his partner's face.

"You do," Dazai agrees, an unfamiliar contentment in his voice. Oda steps closer without thinking, their shoulders bumping. There's no response to that, but Oda doesn't think it's necessary anyway.

They find another trenchcoat in a secondhand shop, scuffed at the elbows and stained with coffee at the hem. Dazai laments about the lack of 'newness' in the 'new' image for half a minute, then goes alarmingly quiet when Oda slips the coat on and adjusts the lapels. It's a little on the loose side, but they can afford to get it tailored so he isn't too concerned. He's more worried about the way Dazai is eyeing him, dark eyes flicking from his face to his chest region a few times before finally settling on the former.

"You're getting this one," Dazai informs him, and- Oh. Oda fights the tug at the corner of his mouth, turning his attention to the trenchcoat itself and sliding his hand inside to gauge the amount of leeway he has. Even with the adjustments, there would still be space for his guns, he thinks, so long as he doesn't fasten it closed. The material is durable too, even if he estimates its age to be somewhere between two and five years. Thick enough to provide some level of insulation but not so much that it would be absolute hell during the (relatively) cooler parts of summer.

Assessment complete, he lifts his gaze to find Dazai still staring, and can't help but tilt his head to the side slightly. "The quality is fine, but I'll need to have it adjusted slightly. Do you want to keep looking, or...?"

They leave the shop five minutes later, Oda's secondhand trenchcoat draped over one arm and Dazai's elbow hooked around the other.

The man they're meeting is Chief Taneda Santouka. Oda only finds this out in the bathroom, as he helps Dazai unwind the bandage that encircles the younger man's head, and has to blink a few times to process the words. Dazai misses the gesture because Oda's standing behind him, and carries on as though he hadn't somehow made contact with the acting commander of the Special Abilities Division.

"He doesn't know that we know where he'll be," Dazai points out, even though Oda hadn't said a word. Not for the first time, Oda wonders if mind-reading is Dazai's true Ability.

"His schedule must not have been easy to find out," Oda muses, because he hadn't seen Dazai using the phone recently (even if no one would actually dare to bug the phone of Port Mafia's Demon Prodigy) and he can't imagine how else Dazai would have found this out when neither of them have a laptop (that they could afford to throw away should it be tracked, anyway).

"Oh, you know me, Odasaku. I have my ways." Dazai waves a hand, brushing the matter off like he does the locks of hair that fall over his face when Oda loosens the bandage and frees them. There's a moment where constant pressure has made impressions on Dazai's hair, leaving a good inch and a half flat against his scalp, and the effect is just so odd to see that Oda has to run fingers through his hair a few times to at the very least mask it, grinning helplessly the whole time.

Then Dazai turns around, and... Oh. Oda can feel the grin melt right off his face, everything coming to a stop as he takes in the sight of Dazai blinking slowly, likely adjusting to having a wider field of vision. He's staring and he knows it, and so does Dazai when those dark eyes focus on him, Dazai's body turning on the lowered toilet cover to make it easier. Oda considers looking away or saying something to detract from his own rapt attention, but dismisses the thought just as quickly. Instead, he reaches up to curl fingers under Dazai's chin, tilting Dazai's face up before sliding his hand along the other's jaw so he can brush a thumb over just under the newly-revealed eye.

"Odasaku?" Dazai's smiling, that little smile Oda's only ever seen in private - that teasing smirk that's just that. Teasing, with no threat, no freezing indifference, and no mockery.

"You look good," Oda explains, and Dazai's eyes flutter shut as his fingers carefully work to peel off the square patch still taped over Dazai's cheek with the help of an alcohol swab.

"It only seems right," Dazai murmurs while Oda works. "You're the one who opened my eyes, after all." And that... Oda doesn't really know what Dazai means by that, aside from the possibility of a pun. But there's a smile on Dazai's face, the closest thing to contentment that he's ever seen. The permission he'd been given to not only see past the physical guards Dazai had put up, but to actually have a hand in taking those guards down is not a privilege lost on him, though how he'd earned it is certainly up for debate.

He doesn't ask though, just spends a little longer than is strictly necessary stroking the silky smooth skin of Dazai's cheeks and smiling as Dazai leans into the touch. Later, Dazai will catch onto Oda's newest accessory, the familiar band of white wrapped a few times around his wrist and pinned in place, and Oda will be accused of stealing Dazai's look. Oda will shrug, and Dazai's expression when Oda tells him that it's simply a reminder will be just like the one Dazai had given him when Oda had offered a way out. And just like that... maybe Dazai will never find a way to be free of the loneliness, but this closeness Oda has earned... It's a start, at any rate.

Chapter 4: Four Years Later

Kunikida Doppo is a man worthy of respect. He has a sharp mind, honed by years of working for the agency and solving cases most would flounder in. He has discipline, the kind that would suffocate any other person but only serves to make him thrive. He's genuine in ways that are both obvious and not, the way he picks up snacks for the rest of the agency some days before arriving, and the way he is always, always looking out for his colleagues, regardless of whether or not they need looking out for.

For all that the agency teases him, Kunikida Doppo is very much the spine, holding them up and keeping them together.

Still, it's been four long years, and Oda firmly believes Kunikida should have expected something like this by now.

"I'm going to kill him," the agent in question seethes, fingers twitching like talons. Oda puts a hand on his shoulder, both to placate the man and to stop him from jumping into the river himself.

"Good luck," Oda tells him, and means it. It's not like Kunikida would ever truly try anyway. For all that he's literally knocked Dazai around, Oda's caught him tending to Dazai miscellaneous "I live a dangerous life, Kunikida-kun~" injuries more than once.

They find Dazai about five minutes later, and even Oda is surprised by that. Not because of how quickly they'd found him, but because they'd actually found him instead Dazai finding them and possibly getting river water on them in the process.

(It doesn't compare with the smell of blood and burning metal and sewage, but that doesn't mean Oda is willing to smell like whatever Yokohama throws into its water system.)

"Dazai!" Kunikida shouts, and Oda only listens with half an ear, filtering out everything he's heard a dozen times before (which is most of it, honestly). There's a boy next to his partner, with silver-white hair and drab clothes that hang off his thin frame. From what Oda gathers in the loud exchange between his co-workers, the boy had 'saved' Dazai from drowning. Oda highly doubts drowning of all things would have managed to even injure the brunette, but it's the thought that counts.

Dazai's prodding Kunikida into repaying the boy for saving him, and that's what catches Oda's attention. A quick glance to the side to mark a route, and Oda jogs across the connecting road to meet Dazai while his partner finalises the 'deal' with Kunikida by blatantly ignoring the state of the blonde's wallet.

"My name is Osamu Dazai," his partner is saying when Oda catches up, and the breeze that swirls past makes the pose Dazai's striking far more dramatic than it needs to be.

"You're also going to get sick," Oda points out, and can feel his own mouth hitching up at the corner at the grin Dazai offers him. The boy standing a few feet away just about jumps a mile at Oda's arrival, but he ignores that for the moment. Instead, he shrugs off his coat and tugs at Dazai until the man sheds the sodden trenchcoat and exchanges it for Oda's.

"And this is Odasaku, Atsushi-kun," Dazai introduces, slipping his arms through the sleeves of Oda's coat. "He looks scary but he only bites if you ask~"

"Oda Sakunosuke," Oda greets. "Dazai bites even if you tell him not to, so he's not one to talk."

The kid, Atsushi, looks ready to jump back into the river. He does accept the hand Oda offers though, his grip too-loose and too stiff, and Oda suspects no one's made the gesture to him before. Still, Dazai's approved of him for a reason, so Oda's curious to learn why.

"Ah- Kunikida-kun~ You're here!" Dazai calls, looking over Oda's shoulder, and Oda holds back a sigh because Kunikida is most definitely still annoyed. He can tell that much without looking because Atsushi goes pale, and Oda can't help but inch a little closer just in case Atsushi trips back into the river.

All in all, it's a peaceful walk to the nearest restaurant that serves tea on rice. The sky's turned orange-red, flocks of birds turned into moving smudges of black overhead. Dazai prods at Kunikida relentlessly and Kunikida hisses like a disgruntled kitten, but the only action he takes is the handkerchief he uses to scrub Dazai's wet hair.

Oda's content to fall behind, side-by-side with Atsushi, though neither of them speak. Atsushi's fidgeting like he has something to say though, so Oda decides to wait. He won't hold back anymore, not when he has the choice to reach out, but there's a time and place for that, and now and here is not it. Not yet.

[papersandkeyboards]

4/10: Geek Out!

Pretty much half of April I spent outside of school—outside of Seattle, for that matter. I just spent a week away because of the AFS trip and right the week after that was spring break, and Karen and Eric got a major scheme planned precisely for the next week.

I only got one day after I got back from AFS trip to be spent in Seattle, before flying away again. And thanks to destiny and luck, Sunday is the last day of the thing I put on the top 10 of my exchange wish list: a comic convention.

Another reason to be grateful to be placed in a big city like Seattle. On my second visit to the comic book store near Seattle Central in the past, I asked the comic book store guy about any comic cons. He told me there was gonna be one here in Seattle, called Emerald City Comic Con. And he said it was quite famous, although, obviously, not as famous as the San Diego one.

Emerald City Comic Con was held from April 7-10. I nearly had a heart attack when I checked the guest list and found out that Danielle Panabaker (The Flash) was gonna be there. I would be depressed if I didn’t go. I also found out that my AFS trip was from April 2-9, thinking that I might fly home on the tenth, but I didn’t. It was a close call.

Next problem: someone to go with.

I wouldn’t mind going alone, but it will be much less lonely if I go with someone. I tried contacting my fellow Indonesian exchange students from all over Washington and even Oregon, but to no avail. Desperate, I did something I have never done before: literally put a desperate request for anyone to go with me. Like, anyone.

Ended up going with Gretar. Yaay. Turned out he had someone he was dying to see too. Booked the tickets for Sunday only, and got the pass shipped a couple weeks before the event.

So I have told you the story of my camera getting wet in Washington DC. The thing seemed to run out of battery just before I left for Comic Con, so I charged it for like five minutes. And it sure as shit did only work for five minutes before it died mysteriously. I only took one freaking picture of Washington State Convention Center, and now I had to carry this heavy not-working thing around. Uggggh.

So this is what a comic con looks like. An ocean of eccentric-dressing people as expected. A lot of Deadpools, jacked up ones and potbellied ones. Several Ms. Marvels. Some Batmen. Many over-the-top video games and Japanese anime characters. Lots of sexified characters, don’t matter if the characters were sexy or not in the first place. Saw a couple of real-life robotically moving R2D2. Many Reys. A couple Darth Vaders. One really pretty Princess Bubblegum (or whoever her name is, if I’m mistaken with her name). But of course, there were also a lot of people who are too lazy to dress up, like me. Having a t-shirt with four Deadpool faces on it definitely wasn’t a costume, but it was enough to express fashion contribution to the convention.

I also just discovered that a comic con was not merely a big room of exhibitions and souvenir stores. There was a whole big room for the guests autographing and photo-op, a whole floor for stores and online shops to sell comic books and shirts and action figures. The rest of the smaller rooms were used for talk sessions, like fandom meet-ups, comic-making classes, or discussions about different topics in comic books in particular or in general. The bottom floor was a family area, filled with exhibition from Lego and scheduled demonstration from Pacific Science Center.

A lot of interesting stuff happening. Yay. Though gotta admit I wasn’t that big of a geek since I didn’t recognize most of the stuff happening in the conference rooms.

Finally I got in line for an autograph and a picture with Danielle Panabaker and took it with Gretar’s phone camera after he got his picture with whoever actor he was in line for. Gotta admit, not the best quality, but it sure was something. Still numb from disbelief that I met Caitlin Snow in person for the next hour.

(mantap abis)

But I got another agenda. Aside from Danielle Panabaker, I also discovered that Raina Telgemeier, an illustrator/comic book artist, was having a talk at noon in one of the rooms. I honestly don’t know her other works, but from before I know she made these three comic books: “Smile”, “Sisters”, and “Drama”. The first two are based from her own real life experience. I didn’t even know why did I buy “Smile” years ago, but I found out that the way she wrote and illustrate it was really interesting and flowy and easy to follow. It’s one of those light books that doesn’t take that much concentration that you can read during break between other heavy books you may be reading.

I discovered the last two in Harper’s room, so I borrowed them from her and finished them in two days (one for each book—if I really put my mind into it I could finish them in a day). Since I’m not really fangirling for these books, I couldn’t really say I was dying to meet Raina Telgemeier. But I was pretty hyped to get a chance to see her.

Gretar and I split when the time for Raina Telgemeier came. As expected, the room was filled with rather little kids. Like, little kids. Elementary. Kids in princess costume and spiderman attire from the kids’ section in Target. Felt more like Halloween instead of Comic Con.

But no, I wasn’t the oldest one. There were several teenagers in the room, though.

After some waiting, she finally came up the podium in front of the room. She was as pretty as her picture in the back of the books. She talked through this podium on one side of the stage where a moderator would be if there were a panel inside the room. You know.

She talked about her books and her experience in writing her own experience and how she draws and other things. At one point, she picked two kids to join her in a reading session where she and the chosen kids read a few pages of her second book “Sisters”, which we could see the panels through the projector screen. She showed some comparisons between her childhood pictures and her illustrations in the book. At the end of the talk, before Q&A, she voluntarily drew from whatever random ideas the kids threw at her. I think it was someone eating an apple getting abducted by aliens in Boston commons or something.

It was fun. I asked a question during the Q&A, hehe. I don’t know, a little regret I had was maybe for not taking a picture with her. I just didn’t feel like it at the time. Stupid me. Oh well. I still got to see her. That’s what matters.

As I said before, turned out I wasn’t, obviously, a big geek as I thought. Maybe I am among my friends. But I was definitely no one in this sea of people who dedicated their time and sweat to make costumes and money to buy tickets for the whole four days of Comic Con and their comfort to look on fleek in their costumes for the whole day. I called Eric a few hours ago to bring me my white small camera, and he came some time in the afternoon, maybe around 2. I gave him my dead heavy camera, and Gretar and I split because he wanted to see Batman vs. Superman. I didn’t join him because a) I’ve heard what the critiques said, b) I’ve heard what Nate—someone in fourth period—ranted about the movie and how it was a bad one, and c) points a and b turned me off, supported by the fact that I wasn’t THAT huge of a DC fan to watch it eventhough people said it was bad.

So I stayed because I wanted to make my $35 worth it. I planned on going to Pacific Science Center’s last exhibition for the day, which was around 4ish, so I waited by exploring the whole building. Or more like the floors where they sell souvenirs and merchandise and all that stuff.

I was trying to be a better fangirl by trying to buy something. But most of them were either too expensive for such a simple design, or unavailable for my size. I almost bought this STAR Labs sweater which would be really cool if only they didn’t only have the size XL. sigh.

I ended up buying nothing. I suppose it’s good because I saved my money. Hehe.

Okay. Maybe not nothing. When I was trying to kill time before the science show, I walked a few blocks to the Central Library and made my Library Card. Then I walked a few more blocks back to the heart of downtown. I entered Old Navy.

The story behind this was that since the end of 2015, I’ve been eyeing this cardigan, which—bear with me—suits me really good, and my mom said it suits me really good, and it came from the maternity section. It was $25. Waiting for an opinion from my mom at the time, I left the store and decided to wait until I’m really sure.

So I came back in the beginning of 2016, and it was freaking $30. For some unknown reasons, I didn’t buy it. So this day, the day of Comic Con, I came back to see if mayyyyybe the price has gone down?

So I looked at the maternity section... only to find that them cardigans were replaced by tank tops.

I totally forgot that items in the store are seasonal. You can see here that I don’t shop much to know about this kind of stuff.

But I did spot one cardigan—the one I wanted—on the top rack, alone. I asked the store person and he said it was the last one. He took it down and it happen to be my size. And guess how much was it.

It was $3.28.

Hurrah!

I sure as shit bought it straight away.

Then I went back to the convention center, watched an exhibition show by Pacific Science Center about electricity or something, then, hoping I would have a question to ask but I didn’t, I went home.

All in all, although what happened wasn’t exactly like what I expected, but I am very extremely happy that I got one of my goals achieved. Kudos to fate for placing me in a big city like Seattle. I might be the biggest comic book geek in my environment back home, but I sure am the tiniest comic book geek in the convention, literally and figuratively. And the convention was way more than American comic books, as it reached farther out to American TV shows, cartoons, and Japanese anime. I wasn’t completely like a kid in a candy store to have all these geeky stuff I’d never got back home, but it definitely was worth it.

The only downside was probably the camera. The stupid camera. Correction—stupid me.

But why the hell should I focus on one low light when there were two high lights of the day: I got to go to a freaking Comic convention, AND unexpectedly got a piece of cardigan I’ve been eyeing for the past several months for a price lower than a lunch combo in KFC?

Hell yeah.