#the farnese siblings made it this time

[thehistoryprincesse]

𝒫𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝐼𝓈𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝒫𝒶𝓇𝓂𝒶 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶 𝒞𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝒶, 𝒟𝓊𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝑒𝓈𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓃

Happy pride month everyone!! This month I will be trying to touch on some of my favorite queer icons in history. :)

Maria Christina Johanna Josepha Antonia was born on 13 May, 1742, the fifth daughter of Maria Theresa of Austria and Francis I, Holy Roman Empire, and elder sister to Marie Antoinette. Maria was deemed to be her mothers favorite child, which shows obvious in the letters between the two. This favoritism sparked much jealousy in her siblings, teasing and critizing her heavily, this favoritism, of course came with many upsides. She received a stupendous education and was regarded as perfectly speaking french, italian, and english, aswell as being an exceptional painter. But as a mothers favoritism often does, it isolated Maria greatly, which although having fell in love with multiple men in her life, none of the matches were quite supported by her mother.

Isabel of Parma on the other hand, did not have much love with her mother, Isabella of Bourbon-Parma was born on 31 December, 1741, to Philip, Duke of Parma, and Louise Elisabeth of France, the eldest daughter of Louis XV and Marie Leszczyńska. At a young age Isabel was recorded to have threw violent tantrums frequently, which in turn her mother Elisabeth disciplined the girl so severely that isabel’s paternal grandmother Queen Elisabeth Farnese of Spain (de facto), compared the discipline to a military drill, (although Queen Elisabeth was recorded as to promoting this discipline.), soon enough their relationship grew so stressed that Isabel’s mother regarded the young girl as stubborn and unbearable to raise. Isabel after being dropped into the hands of her governess and forgotten about by her mother, quickly turned to mischief and curiousity, being recorded to play all day and night with no break, isabel writing, 'My head was always in the clouds, occupying itself with a hundred thousand ideas at once'.

Due to the influences of Madame de Pompadour, Louis XV and Maria Theresa of Austria came together to strengthen and ally the houses of bourbon, and that of the habsburg. In this alliance resulted many marriages, one of them being of Isabel of Parma, (a bourbon princesse) and Joseph II, Archduke of Austria, and the elder brother to Maria Christina. Her marriage with Joseph seemed to be impartial, he was recorded to have been taken by love (although he wasn’t really sure how to show it) with his new bourbon wife, but it seemed this love was awfully one sided, Isabel having had no opinion on her new husband.

During this period of time, Isabel was said to have grown majorly depressed and borderline suicidal. In a letter to Marie Christine saying; ‘What should the daughter of a great prince expect? Her fate is unquestionably most unhappy. Born the slave of the people’s prejudices, she finds herself subjected to this weight of honours, these innumerable etiquettes attached to greatness… In the end the effort is made to establish her. There she is condemned to abandon everything, her family, her country–and for whom? For an unknown person, whose character and manner of thinking she does not know… sacrifice to a supposed public good, but in fact rather to the wretched policy of a minister who can find no other way for the two dynasties to form an alliance which he pronounces indissoluble–and which, immediately it seems advantageous, is broken off…’

By the Isabel reached the age of twenty she was extremely successful in most everything she did, she continued her education, helped her husbands military strategies, and was said to have painted and decorated many rooms in the schobrunn palace, many of which are still on display today.

In the midst of her life in Vienna, it was obvious that Isabel and Maria had grown awfully close, many letters survive today of their close bond with eachother, clearly showing how Isabel had taken a liking to her husbands sister, instead of him.

“The confusion which reigns in a certain drawer which lives in my room, where are to be found together and without rhyme or reason a political tract, a pile of letters, a comic opera, a vaudeville, a treatise on education, a clavier part, some moral reflections. A sermon jostles a treatise on all types of foolishness, prayers are mixed up in a paper devoted to declaring my love to you, letters from the emperor muddle up with letters of a hundred persons who are indifferent to me, and with those letters which are so dear to me and constitute the sweetness of my life.”

Unfortunately, apart from one responding letter to Isabel, none of Maria’s correspondence to her sister-in-law survived. But it is clear that at some point, Maria had either fallen out with Isabel, or confessed to her that they could no longer continue their rendezvous, this is made clear in a very passionate letter Isabel had written.

“I am writing you again, cruel sister, though I have only just left you. I cannot bear waiting to know my fate, and to learn whether you consider me a person worthy of your love, or whether you would like to throw me into the river…. I can think of nothing but that I am deeply in love. If I only knew why this is so, for you are so without mercy that one should not love you, but I cannot help myself.”

Sadly, shortly after making this letter, Isabel passed away at the age of 21 due to smallpox, aware that she was bound to pass soon, Isabel wrote one last letter to her dear Maria. Advising her on how to navigate and survive the court of Vienna, and how to convince her mother on a marriage.

Clearly, Maria took his letter with utmost sincerity, as after after mourning for much much longer then required, Maria had convinced her mother on a marriage, ending up being the only daughter of Maria Theresa to marry for love, instead of convenience. That suitor being the Prince Albert of Saxony, a man with no fortune or inheritance.

[madonna-la-cardinalessa]

Borgia Family Appreciation Week

Day 3 ~ Favourite relationship: → Rodrigo & Giulia // Cesare & Alessandro

[bthump]

HI I made a Tumblr account solely to follow your blog. I have been looking at it on and off for a while and it's by far my favorite little corner of the internet for reading about/discussing Berserk content, so thank you!! I want to ask, do you think there's any point to Farnese being unaware of her and Serpico's blood relationship, or that it's going somewhere? It feels like a huge deal is made out of it but I honestly don't see what it would change between them. Am I just missing something?

Wow thank you, that's so awesome to hear! I'm glad you're having a good time over in this corner of Berserk fandom!

Honestly that's a good question lol, I haven't really considered it in depth before.

I suppose Farnese is unsure of how Serpico sees her, and possibly still thinks Serpico hates her and is only obligated to stay by her side, as she assumed in the Conviction Arc. I don't think we've seen her reflect on that since lol so it's entirely possible it's a thread that's been dropped, but if it does return, if Farnese brings up her belief that Serpico is only with her out of obligation, then a sibling reveal could either contradict it or reinforce it?

Like oh we're actually siblings so we're family so you love and care about me and also that's why you rejected me that one time? That's great, insecurities resolved!

Or oh we're actually siblings so that's just one more obligation tying you to me and you avoided telling me which is worrying and oh shit I tried to fuck my brother that one time, insecurities worsened!

Otherwise, I'm not really sure what it'd change. There could be plot stuff it might affect, like if Farnese wants Serpico to reveal the truth and demand to be made her father's heir or something? But honestly it does kind of feel like something that’s been casually forgotten about lol.

[monsieur-de-paris]

REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog  !  good  luck  !

TAGGED. @kigakurutta​ thanks ^-^ TAGGING. @bourreau-de-roi​ @princely-alucard​ @thesarcasticviclet​ @devilsmark @xxsacrificiumxx​ @farnese-ojousama​

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Charles-Henri Sanson de Longval

NICKNAME:  Charles or Charlot (lolol)

AGE: Verse-dependent, between 14 and 54

BIRTHDAY: February 15th

ETHNIC GROUP: White

NATIONALITY: French

LANGUAGE(S): French, a word or two in English and German

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Verse-dependent, gets married at the age of 27

CLASS: As in social class - 3rd estate (commoner)

HOMETOWN / AREA: Paris

CURRENT HOME: Paris 

PROFESSION: Executioner & doctor

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Black, very long, straight or later wavy, thick, silky

EYES: Doe-eyed, gray/black of colour

NOSE: Straight, long, narrow

FACE: Diamond-shaped and long, not so defined cheekbones

LIPS: Plump and soft, red

COMPLEXION: Pale

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: None

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 195 cm ( 6'5'' )

WEIGHT: unknown

BUILD: Tall and skinny, well-trained

FEATURES: Soft enough to be able to dress like a lady and not attract attention

ALLERGIES: None

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: The parting changes over time (it’s either parted on the right side or combed back), but always open

USUAL FACE LOOK: Distressed lmao

USUAL CLOTHING: 18th century clothes

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): People’s cruelty, having to execute the ones he cares for, generally having to kill people, he hates his occupation a lot ;O;

ASPIRATION(S) : To abolish executions, later: to make executions more humane

POSITIVE TRAITS: Kind, polite, open-minded, accepting, loving, caring, a strong sense of responsibility

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Naive, anxious, unassertive, easily led, manipulable

ZODIAC: Aquarius

TEMPERAMENT: Emotionally volatile, cries a lot

SOUL TYPE(S): Helper

ANIMALS: Dogs, horses

VICE  HABIT(S): None (crying?)

FAITH: He is religious, yes

GHOSTS?: I bet he believes in them

AFTERLIFE?: Yes

REINCARNATION?: No

ALIENS?: No

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good

ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE: No idea (what is economic preference?)

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: He supports His Majesty wholeheartedly

EDUCATION LEVEL: Mostly home-schooled, very good medical skills

FAMILY.

FATHER: Charles-Jean-Baptiste Sanson

MOTHER: Madeleine Sanson

SIBLINGS: (Oh gosh, here we go with the list) Marie-Joseph Sanson, Louis-Charles-Martin Sanson, Nicholas-Charles-Gabriel Sanson, Louis-Cyr-Charlemagne Sanson, Madeleine-Claude-Gabrielle Sanson, there was later a baby too, called Pierre-Shanks Sanson, but I think it vanished (?)

EXTENDED FAMILY: His grandmother Anne-Marthe Sanson, his stepmother Jeanne-Gabrielle Sanson, his wife Marie-Anne Sanson, his two sons Henri Sanson and Gabriel Sanson, his uncle Nicholas-Gabriel Sanson, his cousin AND brother-in-law Jean-Louis Sanson, like 500+ other cousins, I think the Sanson family is rather large (and I need a drink after listing so many)

NAME MEANING(S): Apparently,Charles means “man” and Henri means “home ruler” lmao 

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: He was actually the royal executioner of France? He is based on a real person 

FAVORITES.

BOOK: The bible prolly, also the memoirs of the first Sanson. He used to be very interested in science and philosophy, but I think his occupation sorta sucked the life, and the hunger for knowledge, out of him 

MOVIE: None

5 SONGS: He enjoys Bach

DEITY: The Christian God

HOLIDAY: Christmas and Easter, like the good boy he is

MONTH: April

SEASON: Spring

PLACE: Anywhere he can be left alone by his grandmother and father (lmao), I think generally among nature

WEATHER: Sunny

SOUND: His violin <3

SCENT(S): Roses

TASTE(S): Wine, fruit, mild tastes

FEEL(S): Satin on the skin, but also pain

ANIMAL(S): I already answered this

NUMBER: 3

COLORS: Black, red, blue

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Riding, very good with a blade, very good medical skills, I guess singing too since he does it a lot 

BAD AT:  Killing, asserting his will

TURN ONS:  Pain (he won’t admit though, but because of the torture he had to undergo, his body got accustomed to pain a lot)

TURN OFFS: Irrationality, cruelty, chaos

HOBBIES: Playing his violin

TROPES:  Fragile Flower xD

AESTHETIC TAGS: Roses, Skulls, Black Hair, Edgy, Goth, Death, BDSM, Emo Quotes, Sad, Depressing, Velvet, Thorns, Blood

GPOY  QUOTES: I can’t think of any rn

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): None, unfortunately

ALT FC(S): None

OLDER FC(S): None

YOUNGER  FC(S): None

VOICE CLAIM(S): None

GENDERBENT FC(S): None

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?: I wouldn’t. I can’t picture Innocent as a movie, I can’t even picture it as an anime, because its beauty and style would just get lost, I feel.

Q2: what would their soundtrack / score sound like?: Something sad and gloomy

Q3: why did you start writing this character?: Well, I really love him ;_; I loved him from the moment I picked Innocent, but his development was nothing I expected - it actually made sense, unlike with many other characters, whose developments only make sense in a fictional, trope-driven setting. But Charles-Henri “matured” in a way a real person would, and even his character traits, which I would possibly hate on every other character aside from him, like his kindness and his gullibility, were somehow lovable to me, because they felt real and genuine, and not like the traits you give a character only to make them likeable. And then a good friend of mine picked him as a muse, we wrote together for sometime, and he just stole my heart completely.

Q4: what first attracted you to this character?: His hair. Also his face, I had seen pictures of him before and I always thought his face looked very unique, because I’ve never seen anyone with a similar drawing style.

Q5: describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse: I dislike, that he changed so much, even if it made sense. I just miss the old Charles a lot ;_;

Q6: what do you have in common with your muse?: I think I have a lot in common with him...except for his kindness and his patience with people. I do share many of his negative traits  though, I also act on impulse a lot.

Q7: how does your muse feel about you?: He is angry, because I contribute to his torment lolol

Q8: what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?: All his interactions are interesting, those which aren’t usually get dropped :o

Q9: what gives you inspiration to write your muse?:  Books. Oh, and my love for him and for writing in general, I don’t think I could just stop writing. And also, he is very easy for interactions. He is very timid and not the most extroverted person in the world, but he would give everyone a chance, so having him meet other characters and actually show interest in them isn’t difficult (*cough* unlike Griffith *cough*)

Q10: how long did this take you to complete?: Tbh, I think ca. 2-3 hours.

[pope-alessandro]

The Ties That Bind

            ☧ – ˢ ᵒ ᶫ ᶦ ˢ ;  Many letters arrived each day for His Holiness; it seemed that even the smallest things passed across his desk, from the simplest change of a church’s name to the most pressing of issues like funding and supplies for those who worked and lived under the protection of the Holy See. More than that were letters from the faithful, some wishing him well, some thanking him for things that he didn’t remember doing. And every so often, there came a letter such as the one that Alessandro held in his hands now. Ones that made his breath hitch, though in this case it was both the content and the signature at the bottom that sent his chest tightening and hands shaking. The letter and envelope were plain and not monogrammed, the paper fine but not distinct --- leaving no trace of where it had come from.          Your Holiness, Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I’ve wanted to write you for many years but never found the strength of will; however, I have always been keeping my eyes upon you and your papacy. It gladdens my heart to see you accomplish so much, to grow even in adversity. It is time that I tell you something, for I know that it must have weighted heavily on your heart just as it did mine. Years ago, I met with the previous Pope and we became fast friends. Friendship turned to love --- I pray that you bear no ill will towards him for this --- and, later, you were born from our union. I was young then, yet older than you were when the Church would set your life’s course. I know that this may be confusing, but know that I did not stay away by choice. I will love you always, and you are forever in my prayers.                             Love, Elisabetta di Farnese The Holy Father’s eyes were stinging with tears that he let out and quickly wiped away; his chest still heaved a bit, but he swallowed his sadness, however thickly. His mind was swirling, conflicting with emotion; he had never known his mother, not even her name. Only her house: Farnese. He had always assumed her dead, or similarly out of reach. It was only by concentrating on a small icon of the Sacred Heart of Christ that he managed to keep himself from hyperventilating. He had to know more. And so he had sent the Papal Knight who was guarding the door to his office  to find Cardinal Francesco or Cardinal Caterina, that whichever he found first was to come to him right away. They had to know more; they had to have had memories of who she was. And when the Cardinal did appear, Alessandro took in a breath, drawing himself from the seat and holding the letter in his hands as formalities were given, customs observed even in the privacy of his office. It was Francesco, and the young Holiness’ eyes looked up at his elder sibling’s own, before moving to the letter in his hand and then back up, holding the letter for Francesco to take as he spoke. He thought his breath would hitch as he opened his mouth to speak...but found that the question came out clearly as day, without even a stutter.

“Who is Elisabetta di Farnese?”

[zolomy]

Finders Keepers: Playing for Keeps

Summary: Zahva is a young thief with dreams of higher living, but first she needs to pay her dues. A clever find opens a rare opportunity, and changes her life in more ways than one.

Word Count: 2,145 Part 2/3 [Part 1] [Part 3]

Her dues had been a success.

With the Guild Master’s praise and blessing, Zahva quickly devoted herself to making the most of their opportunity in the little time they had to prepare.  Gone were her frivolous daydreams of noble life, replaced by the reality of her shadow world and the thrill of the game.

The days had passed in a blur, and in the blink of an eye, she was standing at the entrance to the Basati estate. For all her preparation, her stomach still twisted with anxiety and her heart beat quick with anticipation. She had never done a mission like this before.

Since many of the noble houses would be lightly occupied with exhausted staff after sending their Lords and Ladies off to the ball, many of the Guild’s younger and less experienced members had been sent out for the night’s mission. It was the perfect opportunity for them to prove their worth under the watchful eye of a Named member.

Normally she would have been automatically assigned to one of these teams, but as the finder of the opportunity, she had been given a choice: shadows or firelight. Zahva still wasn’t sure what had compelled her to step so firmly out of her comfort zone, but she chose the light.

Trading her dark cloak for one that shimmered in the softest light, her mission was to attend the ball itself and scout the attendees; what they were wearing, how they travelled, who and what they knew. And if she happened to pocket a bracelet or ring or fine piece of silver in the process? Well, no one she knew would be mad about that.

The other benefit of being the finder was she got to pick her own team for the mission. So, of course, she picked the only two people she could trust. The twins, Jax and Jazz.

Technically the siblings weren’t actually twins. Jazz was older than her brother Jax, but they were born in the same year. Inseparable as they were, the phrase stuck, and they had long ago stopped trying to correct anyone.

“Whose territory was this?” Zahva asked in an attempt to distract her nerves.

“Arnold’s,” Jazz spat. “That traitor.”

The re-construction of a noble’s house would have been prime intel, but Arnold had never mentioned a word of it. In fact, he had routinely complained that he had no work in his assigned territory at all and begged others to allow him to work out of theirs instead. They had let him pick up the overflow and scraps for months before it was discovered he was using their generosity to spy for a rival guild.

He had been promptly chased out with fire and knives at his back.

So, the trio had done their own research from scratch. A grueling task that Jazz was still bitter about.

What they had found was that the Basati family was large on two things: wealth and family members. While no one could say where their wealth came from, gossip claimed they were friendly rivals of the Sonapo family. Despite the Sonapos owning much of the land in the region, court politics had danced it’s confusing, complicated waltz between the two families and the Basatis were moving in.

This ball was meant as a house warming of sorts. Though, Zahva knew enough about high society politics to know that “house warming” really meant “excuse to show off how rich I am and establish a new social pecking order.”

Joining the line of guests heading into the entrance hall, she realized they never were able to pinpoint which of the Basati brood would be taking over the new estate. But with the way these things went it was probably an older member looking to retire to the countryside.  

As confident as they could ever hope to be, the three young thieves headed inside.

—–

Very quickly, Zahva became overwhelmed by the ball. Never had she imagined even half of the luxury that surrounded her now. Women twirled across the floor in cascading layers of colorful fabric, glittering in the light with a grace that rivaled the best rooftop shadow walkers. Even in her own smartly tailored clothes of silk and velvet, the most outstanding things she had ever worn, she felt unspeakably plain and simple.

It’s classic, she reminded herself, taking a moment to observe the fashions and trends on display. How different things looked here compared to hanging in a dark closet or folded up in a drawer! She supposed if anything, her own attire followed that of the men; clean dark cuts with the occasional flourish of color, texture, or jewels.

The younger generation was bolder, however, perhaps influenced by the city courts. They reminded her of exotic birds. Not that she had seen such birds in person, but higher society loved to place images of them in their homes. Peacocks and parrots certainly, but also swans, red-winged eagles, and flittering hummingbirds. Better birds than the exotic cats, she smiled to herself, easier to catch.

Satisfied she had properly observed what she could, Zahva slipped away to try and make heads and tails of the mansion’s layout. This required her to go outside to get a better perspective and had nothing at all to do with clearing her head of the perfume that clogged her nose. But in truth, it wasn’t until she stood at the sturdy stone railing overlooking the gardens that she was finally able to take a deep breath since arriving.

The gardens were beautiful in the moonlight. The main attraction clearly a winding maze of shrubs, and structures covered in flowering vines. Zahva imagined it was the ideal place for two young lovers to dash off into, especially on a night like tonight, and the perfect stalking ground for a thief who knew every nook and cranny. 

“Such a nice view, wouldn’t you say?” 

She nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice behind her, gods damn it she hated being snuck up on! It took every ounce of training and grace for her to keep calm, turning her head with what she hoped appeared to be curiosity and not sheer terror.

It was one of the peacock men from inside, his colorful outfit and cloak featuring a generous amount of well-placed feathers. Ridiculous, maybe, but very on trend from what she had seen so far. She had no idea who he was, she had no idea who anyone here was, but if she looked past his oversized hat, he had a rather nice-looking face. 

“Nice view, huh?” he repeated, tilting his head slightly the same way a bird might to get a better look at her.  

“Oh! Um…yes! It’s nice I guess,” she blurted out quickly, biting the inside of her lip as she glanced back to the gardens again. What a stupid response! But how was she supposed to explain she had been admiring the stealth capabilities of the landscaping and not the artistic flair of the flower arrangements?

The man before her frowned, a disappointed pout plumping his lips. Uh oh. Was he actually in charge of the gardens? She doubted a gardener would look this good, even in a noble house like this, but maybe he was the designer? Zahva braced herself for a bitter retort and a wounded pride that she would need to pacify. 

But instead the man flicked his chin skyward, huffing in exasperated haughtiness. 

“My dear, I am the view.” 

“W-What?” 

Suddenly everything came into sharper focus, he was much closer to her than she originally realized. His face became clearer under the brim of his hat as she looked up at him, and Zahva felt her face starting burn as she scrambled to escape her predicament.

By the gods, those eyes were captivating. Saying he had a rather “nice-looking” face had been a severe understatement. Her eyes darted around, unsure of where to look, fingers twitching to touch the luxurious fabrics finely framed his figure.

“Of course, the gardens are nice,” he continued, “but I saw the way your eyes danced over me just now.” His teasing was evident then, mischievous eyes catching every movement she made as her face burned hotter… Ok, maybe not just the fabrics.

Damn it, what had gotten into her?

“It seems the least you could do is offer me your name dear lady.”

“Zahva, m’Lord,” she said, thoroughly impressed with the steadiness of her voice, even if her answer came a bit too quick. Behind the peacock man she caught a glance of Jax and Jazz in the window, the twins gesturing oddly at her in a terrible attempt at subtle charades. She didn’t have time to decode their message however before the man before her spoke again.

“Zahva,” he said, testing the sound of her name. “I don’t recall such a family name.”

Panic flooded her gut, mind drawing a blank on every cover story she had crafted and practiced the nights before.

“Oh, forgive my quick tongue,” she replied, a clever idea suddenly coming to her. “My family name is Farnese.” She let his mind spin the name around, watching as his eyes lit up in recognition. The time to pounce. “You sir, may call me Zahva however.”

The shy smile she gave was only one part an act, her stomach fluttering for a new reason as she watched him fidget this time, caught off guard before his etiquette training finally returned.

There was a spark in the air now, and her heart jumped as he opened his mouth, thrilled to see how his charming voice would respond. But she never got the chance.

“There he is! Hiding in the gardens!” A new voice cut between them, followed quickly by several more, before they were suddenly surrounded by a flock of young nobles. Well, to be more accurate, her peacock man was surrounded, she had been pushed to the side, happy to shrink back into the shadows.

“My dear fellow, it truly won’t do to have you hiding out here!” chided a man dressed in deep red. “The ladies are beginning to weep at your absence.”

“It most certainly won’t do,” said another in soft blues. “This is your party after all!”

His party? Zahva’s mind began to breakdown. Oh no. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening to her! Lord Basati was supposed to be an old man ready for retirement and a drama free life. Instead the Lord was a young, flamboyant, very much eligible, bachelor.

Her whole body burned with embarrassment as she replayed the last several minutes in her head. She needed to leave. Now.

Slipping back inside she quickly found the twins, who whispered that they had a carriage of goods ready to go out front. They also each gave her a look that said they knew, and she cursed their terrible sign language under her breath. The trip back home would be a long one. Accepting her fate, she followed them towards the exit.

Zahva was a step away from freedom when someone grabbed her wrist, stopping her short. Her mind expected the worst, a servant who had found them out, and her fingers flicked to the knife in her sleeve. But when she turned to look at her captor, they stilled.

The gloved hand on her wrist belonged to none other than Lord Basati. His easy charm replaced by a shy smile and begging eyes. “Please m’Lady, may I see you again?”

Again, she spoke too quick, the words rolling off her lips before she could think them through. “Of course m’Lord. From the moment I leave I will count every breath until my return.”

It did seem like the kind of silly phrase a noble would say to another. But, judging by the slight frown on the lord’s face, maybe not. Maybe her worst fears had come true and he found her out.  

“Why count at all?” he asked in quick whispered words. “When you can just stay?”

A moment passed between them. First of confusion, then slow realization, then of prompt embarrassment. She blushed red, he drained to white.

“P-Perhaps I’ve had too much w-wine,” he stammered as his skin now flushed to match hers and he released her wrist as if she had burned him. “I d-don’t s-suppose, your kind nature could forgive such a f-forward remark. Please, forgive me.”

Her hand darted out before she could think, catching his wrist as he turned away and tried to escape in the swirl of his peacock cape. With a quick heartbeat and soft smile, she locked their eyes together and slid her hand into his, squeezing it gently.

“I will count each breath.”

And with that the thief slipped away into the night, having stolen not only the nobleman’s treasures, but his heart and future as well.

[berserksweg]

A recorded message from author Kentaro Miura to fans of Berserk

(Google)Translated from an unofficial transcription/translation 

Hello. I would like to thank all of you, old fans and new, for supporting me all of these years. It really means a lot to me and my team to know people still like this series even after all these years. And so, with a heavy heart I have to say I am quitting Berserk. Yes, this may seem sudden and poorly timed, but I do have my reasons.

For one, I have been drawing messed up sh*t for over half my life and that stuff starts to get to you. Like at first it was fun, seeing the horrible dark side of humanity, but after a while it just became tiring. I had nightmares about things I had created and no amount of comic relief would help. I added comic relief character after comic relief character and nothing helped.

From the very beginning there was Puck, who was a funny, but insightful elf who brought a little levity. He was to make sure things didn’t get too dark, but after the Lost Children chapter and it’s literal piles of dead children I decided there needed to be more, so I added Isidro. With Isidro and Puck I thought for sure the nightmares would stop, but they kept coming, so I reduced Puck to purely Chestnut Puck and added a little cute witch. That was all to balance out the trolls who were horrible. How did I even come up with that? Why did I even come up with that? After the trolls I added Magnifico, the pirates, Isma, Sonia, Mule, Azan, and others to help remedy this problem. Heck, all of Elfhelm doesn’t have one piece of nightmare fuel, just loli witches and fairies, and I still was having issues!

Anyways, so then after the Empire of the Millennium Falcon Arc with the Kushans and Reborn Femto I decided to have Guts and his group stay on the boat. I know I took a long time on that, and I’m sorry, but honestly I was hoping people would lose interest. Yes, the story was nowhere near over and the group were almost to Elfhelm, the place where Casca could possibly be healed, but I was running out of ideas. Now, we are actually in the dream world and Farnese and Schierke are trying to piece Casca back together, and I know it seems like a bad place to stop, but I just have to.

The fact is my health isn’t what it use to be and I’m getting old. Also the 2016 anime gave me cancer. Literal eye cancer. I’m going blind and that’s part of the reason why the art style changed, that’s why I’m taking so many hiatuses. It’s also why I will never finish Berserk. I love this series, but I just don’t have the passion or the ability to keep it going. But I will tell you how far I planned the ending.

First off, Casca does come back, just not in the way you thought. See Farnese does a soul transfer, like Donovan did to Guts except less prostitution (Kudos to fans who figured that out, most of the Donovan theories that I’ve seen are true; he was a much deeper character than he seemed), and becomes Casca, so now Farnese and Casca share Casca’s body and Farnese is a potato brain. Guts doesn’t notice right away, but Serpico does and he is super mad at Farnese. Farnese goes insane from Casca’s memories and Casca wants to jump off another cliff while Farnese want stuff to burn. Farnese soul transfers back into her body (this time with prostitution) because Casca won’t let her burn stuff. She masters the fire wheel spell and burns Elfhelm to the ground. Everyone is mad at her, but she realizes she wants to become a great witch and uses earth magic to fix everything. Everyone is happy again and Casca decides to come back finally. Casca does jump off a cliff, and dies instantly.

Infact, everyone gets a power up, even Roderick. Isma gets more mermaid magic, Isidro gets a second 4000 degree knife, Serpico gets parachute pants, Farnese has more magic training and inner peace, Roderick get a fairy boat (a kind gesture, but it only fits like one person), Puck gets a better bag to sleep in, and Guts gets the only woman he’s ever loved back and then immediately loses her forever. Everything seems too good to be true.

And it is.

It turns out the Elf King was evil the entire time and was luring them into a false sense of security. Why? I don’t know, but you people seem to like betrayal. All of the magic creatures attack and all of Griffith’s demons attack Elfhelm. The group escapes only to take the boat ride all the way back. This boat part is a little shorter than the last one, I planned on it only taking like 7 or 8 years instead of 10 like the last one. After being attacked by a different crew of funny pirates, and some Vikings as well, they land in Roderick’s kingdom of Ith, only to find out he too was evil the entire time and just wanted Farnese to be his rich witch wife. Farnese doesn’t care now that she’s found inner peace, but Serpico does and he accidently reveals that they are half siblings.

Nobody is really shocked. So Isma kills Roderick mostly on accident and it turns out Ith is also infected with horrible demons, so the group runs away until they meet up with Rickert, Erica, and the Kushan assassins. Rickert has become a super skilled Inventor and has built a medieval mech suit run off of magic and the will to live. It also has a giant sword. Erica has become a skilled assassin. The mech suit forms up like Power Rangers, each of the limbs representing a different element (Farnese-earth, Serpico-wind, Isma-water, and Isidro-fire) with Schierke forming the head. Guts has the Berserker armor and no reason to live beyond revenge. As terrible as the anime was, it’s more Shounen themes gave me the idea to use Mechs. I know it seems like it clashes with the dark fantasy theme of Berserk, but just think about it.

They launch an attack on Falconia and are captured immediately, but this was all a plan and they escape. They form into Voltron- I mean the mech that is totally unique in design and attack again. All of the demons attack causing havoc in the streets and lot of death and rape happen. The force breaks through to Griffith and there is a lot of ‘GRIFFFITHSU!!!!’ Griffith still has Guts outclassed by a lot so Guts becomes overcome by his beast of darkness and calls Puck ‘bug.’

Everything stops. You guys thought the Behelit was for Casca? Guts? Farnese? No. It was for Puck from the very start. Yes Puck. He’s the true villain of Berserk. You thought it was Griffith? The God Hand? The Idea of Evil? No. It was Puck.

Puck uses the Behelit  to summon the God Hand and Sacrifices Guts’ bag to gain more power. Puck then kills Casca and Rickert before being killed by Corkus.That’s right, Corkus comes back from the dead and kills Puck and then Griffith, before finally killing Guts. Just as Puck was the main villain, Corkus was the main hero not Guts.

So Yeah, that’s that’s the ending. I took a lot of inspiration from online forums after the boat burnt me out of all of my ideas. It may seem a little dark, and I know I said I didn’t think I could write a sad ending, but this really isn’t a sad ending. It actually shows how even the worse people can be redeemed and even the most innocent can fall. Actually no, it doesn’t. I know people will always point out my deep symbolism and philosophy in Berserk, honestly I didn’t write it with that intention. Most of the time it was an accident, or people reading too much into it. The whole dream speech? That was just to show how full of himself Griffith was and Guts took it too seriously like everyone else. The dream thing came to me when I was watching Disney’s Cinderella and thought, ‘dreams seem to be really popular I should include that to Berserk.’

Is that what you guys wanted? Some ridiculous, over the top, sad ending? From what I’ve heard, some fans are unhappy with how happy everything was going, but doesn’t it feel better to know this horrifying story has a horrifying ending? Doesn’t it fit all of the ‘themes’ and ‘parallels’ to that thing that happened once but has been redone five different times (*cough* Eclipse *cough*) where everyone died. Also what point is there to give a character development when you are going to kill them off for shock value anyways.That’s what I figured, just give the fans what they seem to want, a dumb edgy ending to bookend an immature and edgy beginning.

I’ve also been very busy with IdolM@aster. It is a very fun game, and a new anime recently came out for it so I’ve been watching that. It’s one of the few things that makes me want to keep drawing and creating things, so I’ve been taking inspiration from it. Some of you have noticed the lean towards more cute character design and style in the most recent chapters and that is me trying to capture Idolm@ster’s unique and eye catching visuals. It’s still not right and that frustration is another reason for my quitting Berserk. It simply is not my vision anymore (since I’m still going blind) and I’m going to try and write stories for them in the future. The dark themes are nice, but I needed more cute girls.

This is why I added characters like Sonia and Isma, and brought the Princess back. It is also why I made Griffith look even more like a girl. I guess even Guts started to look more feminine, which actually wasn’t intentional, but more of a happy accident.

I haven’t given up writing Manga for good though. I have a few ideas of writing a shoujo/slice of life/comedy/harem/sports manga, but I need to perfect my style and heal my eye cancer first. I really hope my fans forgive me and are willing to support me in my new passion: writing about cute underage girls being okay at something.

So that’s it. That’s the end.

Where’s my paycheck, I just bullsh*ted an ending for you. Why are you shushing me? What? We’re still recording? Why-