#the funniest thing about this to me is my current work place is gay-owned and our work parties regularly feature burlesque and drag

[wistfulrat]

this week’s fics! feat. bakeries, bookshops, bisexual awakenings of the angsty and fluffy sort, wolfstar goddads being tender as hell, desi harry reconnecting with his culture, domestic drarry, a lap dance set to akon’s smack that, and more!

But That’s History by @ebbet - 54k - T Harry Potter starts his first year as Muggle Studies Professor only to find that Draco Malfoy has been hired to teach History of Magic.

listen to me. this is one of the funniest drarry fics i've ever read. i was cackling in my bed at 2am because harry’s internal monologues throughout this fic are unhinged. insanely quotable. “what was he, a lothario” and “you were crushing me with your muscular thighs!” are lines that live rent free in my empty head. harry has never played anything cool a day in his life. there’s a faculty meeting where the teachers are planning the yule ball and debating the merits of a DJ when harry decides he must defend his muggle-music-loving honor by dancing seductively to akon’s smack that while a blushing draco loses his mind. i fucking screamed. and the best part is that in between the comedic scenes threading the overall story, you have extremely tender moments of like, padma patil helping harry become a more rooted desi by sharing their cultural traditions, harry proudly donning his sherwani. draco wrestling with his past, going to harry’s lgbtq+ club for students, being sheepish with ron and hermione. ugh, comedic writers with emotional depth are clever and talented as hell!!

Realities, Unfurling by @ebbet - 45k - M Draco Malfoy is released from Azkaban into a changed world.

incredible collage-fic told from multiple povs. 8yrs post-war and everything’s changed. the current state of the magical world unfolds via slice-of-life snapshots from a truly stunning cast. non-binary harry whom is running a non-prof org dedicated to building tolerance and establishing equality for marginalized identities. post-prison-release draco whose life will be changed by the internet. neville’s tender relationship with blaise. andromeda’s fiercely protective mothering. remus and sirius being alive and very hot and just, the tender goddads harry deserved. cho chang being brilliant. baker pansy’s softened edges. found families abound. harry being flustered by their crush on draco and making personalized playlists on an iPod nano.

that all might sound narratively cluttered but the author more than pulls this off. glorious, start to finish.

Knead by @jovialobservationanchor (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 83k - E This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

cinematic. a love letter to oregon’s expansive landscapes and lively cities. it’s harry finding home in unexpected places and people. in the vast silence of rolling fields, endless coasts, and starry night skies big enough to feel like you’re adrift in space. and it’s also the lingering, intimate quiet of early mornings in a bakery, sitting on a park bench overlooking the city as you eat ice cream next to your crush. it’s harry watching ginny and luna dance and work around each other like bees. it’s the slow unfolding of harry and draco’s relationship as they fill each other’s quiet. finishing this fic is like waking from a good dream. transporting, immersive, lovely. 

Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft - 20k - E Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

first of all, i feel very seen by draco being a gay-who-can’t-drive. it’s called representation. but mostly i love the ease of harry and draco’s banter, a flustered harry discovering his sexuality, and the way this fic addresses biphobia. also very emo over this exchange: “I think I might be scared of you, but probably not for the reasons you think.” “Yes.” Draco stares at Harry. “I think I might be scared of you too.”

Forged through flowing water by @tedahfromtayla (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 40k - E When Hermione sets up a diplomatic mission to begin repairing the damage British colonisation did to Indian magical communities Harry isn’t going to pass on the opportunity to visit and help his family’s home country. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions about the personnel she had recruited for it before signing on because Malfoy surely has an ulterior motive to be there.

so much to love about this fic. the beautiful settings, from kolkata to mumbai, to the holi festival and colorful lively streets, to remote cave settlements and old intricate temples. it’s harry in the homeland, reconnecting to his family’s heritage and confronting the weight of imperialism in his history. it’s nipping the white savior complex in the bud. this part: That is what England left behind. That is what it still stands for, despite whatever mask of respectability and honour it presents. . .You don't get to step aside and let someone else deal with the mess. You have to listen and learn and then act, Malfoy, you need to learn how to fix your own mess. This is why we're here. my indigenous ass cheered. HP certainly sells the british fantasy but HP fanfic?? fuck jkr, fuck the crown. i love that this fic doesn’t romanticize england’s history. i love that we get to see the vast resilience and beauty of post-colonial india.

Purity Control by yrfrndfrnkly - 28k - T In which Harry tries to ignore his trauma with fantasy Quidditch but Malfoy's Thereness™ is distracting and all his classmates want to talk about are unicorns, virginity, and Muggle music.

tender 8th year fics where they go from bristly as fuck to understanding and soft 100% guaranteed to make me emo as hell. all the teens have traumas and no one wants to talk about it but eventually Things are Talked About. it’s good of the adults to finally notice. everyone just wants someone to hold their hand. and this part: “You’re the only person around here who’s a bigger mess than I am.” “I thought maybe we could be a mess together,” pls don’t look at me as i weep over their gentle empathy.

Advent, a comic by dustmouth - WIP - T It's Harry and Draco's first Christmas together and Draco is determined to live his full yuletide fantasy, come hell or high water.

dustmouth, patron saint of whimsical drarry. whose illustrations singlehandedly reinvented wizarding fashion. whose cheeky and tender comics are like a soothing balm to the utter depravity of this carnal world. harry and draco being domestic, draco’s xmas spirit brand being “traditional unhinged”!! extremely my shit. we’ll absolutely be reading this all december.

Little Spaces by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd​ - WIP - E Draco's back from France and working on the spell damage ward at St Mungo's with Hermione, who invites him over for dinner. Without telling Harry. This is a roleplay, which means Harry is written by one author (lazywonderland) and Draco by another (dracoladon).

the switch in distinct character voices works so well for this fic!! tonally i feel like i'm watching an episode of the office. i personally love harry and draco being Pissed Off at how much they want to bone each other. the battle of the tapenade was the most riveting dinner scene i've read in a minute. clever, hilarious, emotionally tense. can’t wait until that inevitable moment post hate-sex when they’re gonna be like “oh noooo it’s a Heart Boner as well!! >:((” hell ya we’re subscribing for chapter updates.

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise by @teacup-tai​ - WIP - E In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

non-magical bookshop AU. remus and sirius’ relationship is a marvel. the ease of their affection with harry makes me so emo. draco’s friends being insistently present even as he tries to isolate himself. this is a story about acceptance, found families, and falling in love at a distance. the intimacy, the longing, the tenderness. what a fic!! i keep coming back to this part:...he looks at ease, inside his body, a body he needed to fight for. He’d made peace with his struggles and his scars. And Draco realises he wants that. He wants to be at ease inside his body, the body that now carries a virus. He wants to be at peace with his own existence. you hurt for draco so deeply but you get moments like these where he affords himself a kindness that feels foreign and it’s just!! the boys navigating grief and learning to be vulnerable. so good.

[s1utspeare]

Plz do Midsummer next, I want to know who are all the fairies and and WHO IS TOM SNOUT THE WALL?????

🙏🙏🙏

Thank you i love you I’m so excited for the Shakespeare discourse. 16 yo Shakespeare-in-the-Park me is LIVING

EDIT: WAIT SHIT I JUST REALIZED YOU NEVER SPECIFIED IF YOU WANTED THE DMUTUALBJs OR THE ACTUAL DMBJ CHARACTERS. OH MY GOSH. I’M SCREAMING. THIS HAS BEEN POSTED FOR TWO MINUTES AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF IT’S WHAT YOU WANTED. OH FUCK. OH FUCK. UHHHHHHH. UM. WOW. OKAY. I’M SO FUCKING SORRY FOR THIS. 

OH???? YOU WANT MIDSUMMER????? YOU WANT FUCKING MIDSUMMER???? excellent

Okay, so first off, my ideal Midsummer would be gay (obviously) and involve a lot of playing with space and audience and stuff. Like, I would want it to be in the square and have all the seats on the same level/have the audience actually on the stage, so that when the Lovers are running around in the woods, and the fairies and Puck are doing their thing, they’re literally intermingling with the audience. Athens would be in a separate playing space, for both the beginning and the end, and the Players (with the exception of Bottom) would never get to mingle in the audience, because they are so fully enshrouded in their own acting and the world of the play that they are blind to the fact that they’re simultaneously playing and being played. At the end of the play, Puck would step up into that separate playing space to indicate physically that the play is done, they are no longer intermingling with us, and we are now separated from this reality that they have created over the course of the play (this has nothing to do with y’all, I’m just using this opportunity to nerd out about my ideal production specs lmao) and thereby physically releasing us from that space. 

BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT. NOW. I’M SHIFTING INTO DIRECTING MODE AND CASTING THIS SHOW USING THE DMUTUALBJs, THE TAG OF WHICH I’M STEALING FROM SIERRA (also sorry i do not have the skills nor the patience to edit y’all’s icons on characters like they did I am not that good @jockvillagersonly i would die for u). 

HERE WE GO:

First up: the Lovers

Hermia: “though she be but little, she is fierce!” lmao I’m sorry @cross-d-a that’s gotta be you. I love Hermia bc she’s very sweet most of the time, except when she’s been wronged, and then YOU BETTER WATCH OUT CAUSE SHE’S GOING OFF, and I feel like Cross imbues that energy very well. She’ll cut a bitch for her friends, but is also the loveliest person you’ve ever met. 

Helena: Helena’s got to be @humanlighthouse. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Not only do I want her to step on me, I also think that she’d be willing to throw down in a forest. Plus, she and Cross would have very good stage energy, I think. 

Demetrius: ok here’s where things get interesting, cause you remember when I said I wanted this to be gay right? SO that means we’re playing this with underlying currents of *internalized homophobiaaaa* which means that Demetrius is actually going after Lysander instead of Hermia; or so she thinks. She’s chasing after the closest male-identifying person in the group, but REALLY wants Hermia, and under THAT ends up wanting Helena, who she’s really intimidated by actually, which is why she’s so rude to her in the first parts of the play. And who will play this wonderfully complex Demetria? None other than @vishcount. Again, the STAGE CHEMISTRY BABES. also I think vish would bring a very lovely complexity to this role. 

Lysander: Lysander is actually like my favorite character in this play??? I have no idea why, but I really love him. He’s very endearing and sweet, and just wants to make his girlfriend happy. So for this role I’m casting @psychic-waffles, who I feel would embody this character very well bc I love Jack. 

Alright NEXT: the Players

Peter Quince: they’re the only writer in this thing, so I feel like this HAS to be @merinnan. Also, Meri-jie tries to wrangle crowds of dumbasses everyday in the Discord server and does an INCREDIBLE job, so I feel like Head Writer/Head Bitch works very well here. 

Nick Bottom: who ELSE would I cast except for @jockvillagersonly. Not only are they funny enough to portray this absolute COMEDY role, I feel like they would really ham it up onstage, which is what Nick Bottom needs. Also I would like to lovingly force them into getting more sleep, so if rehearsals for the scenes where Bottom is Passed The Fuck Out go a little long, who’s gonna know??? 

Francis Flute: Francis Flute holds a special place in my heart bc in my university’s production of Midsummer, one of my friends played him, and he was funny as fuck, so for this role I’m going with @bookjoyworm. I think Joy absolutely would be fantastic as Thisbe, and have a very dramatic and tragic death scene (which, coincidentally, is often the only part of the Play Within A Play that’s actually acted well, and I think that Joy could pull off that bait-and-switch). 

Tom Snout: YOU KNOW WHAT NOPEY, IT’S FUCKING YOU. YOU ARE THE WALL. LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE DAMN LIFE. I LOVE TOM SNOUT AND I LOVE YOU. 

Snug the Joiner: Snug the Joiner is literally just a cutie patootie trying their best. I love them, and I also love @pissmeoffanddie, so that’s who we’re going with on this one. They would be a very fierce lion, I just know it (but not too fierce, so as not to frighten the ladies!!!!)

 Robin Starveling: Moonshine! This so obviously has to be @undyingsunshine; it’s literally in the name!! They both fucking shine! I’m! Also I genuinely love Robin Starveling a lot too lasighaldkfjaldf. 

The Athenians: 

Theseus: all hail the kiiinnnngggggg. Obviously this is @xcziel. I would perform a thousand plays for @xcziel. A million. A thousand million. Mwah. My liege. 

Hippolyta: BOSS-ASS BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. none other than @foxofninetales could POSSIBLY be this Amazonian queen. Once again: step on me mom. 

Egeus: Okay like. Okay don’t come for me I’m sorry I have to cast Egeus, but I think that deep down he wants what’s best for his daughter! And I feel like that has very @kholran energy. Idk they came up with the ShanSang pool noodle and that radiates very safe energy for me. So sorry @kholran ur my dad now. 

The Philostrate: they’re literally just trying to get things organized and let everyone have a good time at the wedding! It’s a hard job!! Don’t make it harder for them!!!! I feel like the only one who could do this would be @mejomonster. Just trying to deal with all these idiots. RIP. 

And Finally: the Fairies

Oberon: ok Oberon’s a himbo but in the best way. He’s just hanging out with his best friend Puck and trying to get his wife to pay attention to him again after she gets a baby. like I get it, dude. Me too. I feel like @elletromil has the most Oberon energy, partially bc I’m in awe of them, partially bc they feel like an old married couple along with: 

Titania: @gaiahenshin. You two would be SO PERFECT together as Titania and Oberon. I’m also of the firm opinion that the Love Juice doesn’t actually work on Titania and she’s just acting for Oberon, and I feel like that’s something @gaiahenshin could get behind. ONCE AGAIN. STEP ON ME. THIS IS NOT A SUGGESTION. 

Puck: ok I feel like the obvious one is the person who’s been doing ALL the magic in the fandom for us lately, which would be @xia-xueyi. Not only a Puck-level mastery of words, but also just blessing us with the energy and love and encouragement. She also feels very bouncy and joyful to me, and I would love to see her get to fly around the stage and do some fun magic stuff. 

Cobweb, Mustardseed, Peaseblossom, and Moth: the fairies! THE FAIRIES!!! the literal BACKBONES of the play. Obviously this would be @thewindsofsong, @idlebeks, @staidwaters, and @i-sudoku. I know in my heart that they are all ethereal beings and that nothing would be the same without them. Also they deserve to get to fly around in some stage rigging. They DESERVE IT. 

The Changeling Child: the only one who is not a mutual. This is the stupid baby dummy from the Moonfall Echo behind-the-scenes cause I think it’s hilarious. 

AH!!!! ANYWAY!!!! THERE’S MY MIDSUMMER CASTING!!! I LOVE YOU ALL I CAN’T WAIT TO SPEND HELL WEEK WITH YOU!!!!!! >:)

[raendown]

I return from the dead with a fic that isn't even for the Naruto fandom and I don't really have an explanation for myself.

Pairing: SamBucky Word count: 2317 Fandom: MCU Summary: Visiting Steve was always strange now that the guy was old and retired. Still, of all the things Sam expected out of today, witnessing a prime example of gay panic from the co-worker that's been mysteriously avoiding him was not one of them.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info under the header!

Honestly, the fact that Steve's house smelled like prunes was probably one of the funniest things that Sam had ever heard in his life. More than anything he would have loved to go back in time, to the days of reading about glorified heroes in history textbooks, and tell his fifteen year old self that Captain America, Steve Rogers, retired in a house that smelled like prunes. God, his best friend just had to throw himself in to being old the way he threw himself in to everything else.

"Is there a special reason for you visiting?" Steve's voice was more tremulous these days, less steady but no less warm. Just hearing him again after the shameful amount of weeks it had been since his last visit made Sam grin.

"Nah, just thought I'd pop in and see if you'd expired yet. Your birthday's coming up. Gonna be, what, three hundred? A thousand?"

Steve narrowed his eyes but there was fondness in them so it wasn't very scary even if he could probably still tackle Sam across the room if he wanted to. At this point it would hurt him too but he could do it. "You, young man, are-"

He looked chagrined at himself when Sam cut him off with a laugh.

"You shitting me? Did you really just call me young man? See if I ever let you live that down."

His friend grumbled but accepted the teasing as his due. That was just what he got for going back in time and doubling down on being so much older than his own best friends.

Since it had indeed been a little too long after they last saw each other there was quite a bit of catching up for them to do. Over cool glasses of sweet tea and a plate of cookies the two of them spent a pleasant couple of hours shooting the shit until Sam could almost forget the years that stretched between them now. It was jarring, sometimes, looking away from those clear blue eyes to realize all over again just how many wrinkles they were set in. Sometimes he hated it. Other times he could only smile to know that at least one of their ragtag bunch had found the peace they were looking for.

Eventually all that sweet tea went right to his bladder and Sam excused himself to use the bathroom. When he returned he took in the sight of his friend all snug under one of the blankets his late wife had knit and sighed, feeling maudlin suddenly for no good reason.

"I should probably get out of your hair," he said. "Let you get in your afternoon nap or whatever. No, stay there man, I'll clean up." His smile was easy as he snagged the dishes from their grazing and hauled it all over to the kitchen.

"You sure?" Steve's voice floated after him. "Nothing else you want to get off your chest?"

"Huh?"

Sam frowned at the cups he'd just placed in the sink, running back through his mind. They'd talked about pretty much everything he could think of.

"You didn't mention Buck once, you know. I thought the two of you were friends now."

"Ah. Yeah. So did I." The corners of his mouth twisted with a little bitterness, a little confusion. After everything they'd been through and the number of times Bucky had accepted his invitations down to Delacroix he'd thought they were well past the point of calling themselves friends. Maybe he himself felt something a little more than that but he knew better than to push.

That was probably why Bucky's sudden radio silence hurt so much though.

"Trouble in paradise?" Steve called from the other room and Sam snorted.

“Shit, I don’t know. One minute we’re fine and the next he just up and disappears on me again. I may or may not have checked a bunch of obituaries for your name just in case because I have no idea what I might have done to piss him off.” Sam pursed his lips. He’s already gone over all this with Sarah a half dozen times and in all the recounts he’d done of their last couple missions he still couldn’t find any particularly bad moment between him and his best friend. Unfortunately the sweet tea he was glaring at didn’t have any answers either so he snatched the pitcher up and moved to put it in the fridge.

“Have you tried, oh I don’t know, asking him what’s wrong?”

“You think I didn’t try that?”

Steve’s hum drifted down the hallway with a distinct note of sass. “Neither one of you is very famous for your communication.”

“Excuse you, I was a counselor. A certified veteran’s counselor. Communicating with people was literally my job until your overly buff ass came running around all ‘on your left’ and ‘everyone I know is trying to kill me’.” Sam huffed as he snapped the fridge closed. “I damn well tried to talk to him but he’s not answering my texts or my calls. Short of breaking in to his apartment I don’t really know what else you want me to do.”

Without any other excuses to keep him in the kitchen Sam heaved a sigh, knowing he couldn’t dawdle any longer. He could only get to the door by going though the living room so his choices were either run away out the back, which he would never ever hear the end of, or go back in to the living room and face Steve with his stupidly wise and knowing eyes. Seriously, let a guy live to almost two hundred and suddenly he thought he knew everything. Annoying was what it was.

He was only halfway down the hall when he heard the front door open. Sam very carefully swallowed down the jibe he’d just been about to deliver and hoped that meant what he thought it meant. Maybe Steve had finally gone vague after all and bailed in the middle of their conversation; he’d rather chase a crazy old coot down the street than talk about his feelings regarding one James Buchanan Barnes. Actually if he looked at it from the right angle then chasing an old coot down the street was pretty much his job description whenever he and his partner teamed up on missions. Sam was just glad they hadn’t been called in to one since this whole silent treatment had started because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know whether or not Bucky would still have his back even when the guy was mad at him over reasons unknown.

Two more steps and Sam froze in his tracks, eyes wide with disbelief. Bucky’s shoulders were hunched in to himself with something bridling on panic as he fit himself through the front door and kicked it shut behind himself, eyes wild and fixed on the ground between his feet, nervous energy pouring out of him in a way Sam hadn’t seen before. From his spot on the couch Steve watched his childhood friend let himself in with serene indifference.

“Didn’t know you’d be over today,” was all he said. Then he smiled benignly when Bucky let out a soft whine.

“Help,” Bucky pleaded. “I’m dying.”

Then Bucky slid down to his knees and face planted in the carpet, arms and legs splaying out wide. Steve hummed.

“You know,” he murmured, “no one ever believes me when I tell them you’re this dramatic.”

“Steve! I’m having a crisis!”

“I tell everyone you’re a drama queen and they just shake their heads at me.”

“This is important! You have to kill me, Steve. Or I’m gonna just- just-!” Bucky’s voice petered out with another extended whine muffled by the carpet that probably didn’t smell any better from that close up.

Crossing one leg over the other, Steve folded his hands in his lap with a great lack of concern for the ridiculous scene playing out before him. Sam remained frozen in the hallway, wondering if Bucky even realized he was there, but he got an answer to that almost faster than if he’d bothered to ask himself.

“What’s wrong, pal?”

“It’s Sam!” Bucky cried. His arms lifted up like wings to flail briefly before falling back to the floor in a boneless sprawl. “Please just crush my head or something. I can’t take this.”

“Ah, yes, I hear you’ve been avoiding him.”

Whatever kind of noise Bucky was trying to make, it came out sounding more like he was choking on carpet fumes. “Of course I’m avoiding him!”

“Now why on earth would you do that?”

“I want to stick my tongue in the gap between his teeth!” Bucky said, entirely unaware of the sparks that were suddenly running up Sam’s spine in the hallway. “Help me, Steve! I want to press my thumb in the little dimple on his back. He has a dimple on his back! Why!? Steve I want to hold his hand! What the fuck!”

Steve had both eyebrows up near his hairline and the most shit eating grin any human on the planet had ever worn when he turned his head to look at Sam. Frozen with his eyes on the figure currently panicking in to the floor, Sam paid him no attention. He was busy processing. After getting to know Bucky, inviting him to stay in Delacroix time and time again, the dramatics weren’t actually that much of a surprise. Obviously as they grew closer he’d gotten a number of glimpses in to who the real Bucky Barnes was under the grouchy veneer he presented to the world. Watching him starfish on the ground and whine wasn’t too far from what he’d already seen.

Hearing him say anything about his tongue in conjecture with Sam’s teeth, on the other hand, now that was a bit unexpected. More than a bit.

“I think Shuri called this ‘gay panic’ and honestly I’m in agreement,” Bucky went on mindlessly. “If I have to watch him go through one more workout and not grab his ass with both hands then I’m just going to rip both of them off. Who needs hands if I cannot grab Sam Wilson’s ass with them!?”

“You may be slightly exaggerating the situation, I feel,” Steve told him.

Bucky snorted. “I am not. I absolutely am not. Why is he so hot? And nice? I hate that. Except I don’t. Steve why is he so nice to me?”

“That might be a question you should ask him.”

“Oh yeah, sure, I’ve got lots of questions for him! Hey Sam, why are you nice to me? Hey Sam, can I lick your cheekbones? Hey Sam, how big is your cock?”

“Well. Not that I’ve ever thought to ask that myself but, alright. Go on, Sam, how big is it?”

Sam had just enough time to cross his arms over his chest and assume a very casual pose leaning against the wall beside him before Bucky’s head shot up off the carpet. If possible, his eyes were even more wild than before when he fixed them on Steve, full of the deepest betrayal. Then he very slowly dragged them sideways to see the man he’d just been panicking over. Sam gave him a very friendly smile.

“Depends on your frame of reference,” he admitted. “I’d say sizeable.”

“Nnnggggg.”

“Hi Buck.”

“Ggnnn.”

While Steve very poorly disguised a laugh behind one hand, Sam pushed off from the wall and sauntered further in to the living room. Bucky slammed his face back in to the carpet.

“Leave me here to die,” he pleaded in a very small voice. Sam tutted, reaching for the front door, only looking over his shoulder once he was halfway through it.

“Come on, Buck, can’t lick my cheekbones if you don’t get off the floor. It was a nice visit, Steve, but don’t be looking out your front curtains for a bit. I think I’ll let Bucky decide for himself what sizeable means.” He thanked god for the mercy of Steve’s house being situated out here so far from any other homes, surrounded on all sides by enough trees that you couldn’t see it from the road. A gorgeous little island of privacy. Sam was fairly sure he wasn’t the only one grateful for this, judging by the mad scrambling noises he could hear going on behind him.

Bucky’s voice garbled out something that sounded like ‘fuck you, thank you, bye forever’ and then Sam was listening to the slam of the front door barely a second before strong hands were wrapping themselves around his hips. He laughed even as Bucky’s face came in to view.

“Greatest assassin of several generations and you didn't notice my truck in the driveway?” he said.

“I may have been a bit distracted.” That was definitely a pout on Bucky’s lips.

“By being so hot for all of this”-Sam gestured vaguely down his own body-“that you literally ceased being able to function.”

He didn’t expect such easy agreement as the sheepish nod that followed his words. “Pretty much.”

Sam blinked slowly once, twice. For one long moment he considered teasing the man. Then he decided that their time was much better spent doing things they’d both obviously been wanting to do while assuming they would never get the chance.

“I was promised a tongue in my teeth. Are you gonna get to that any time soon or am I gonna sit here and pine some more for something I apparently could have had all along?”

Bucky keened piteously. Then he surged forward to follow through on his own promises and Sam really hoped that Steve had taken his words to heart about the curtains. The man was way too old to be seeing all the ways they were about to defile the side of this truck.

[orionsangel86]

Hey Everyone,

As you have probably noticed, I have neglected this blog for a long time now. I haven’t been on any fandom related social media at all actually. But I figured since I am currently in a good mindset, I want to write a post just outlining some things which basically boils down to a goodbye letter to Supernatural fandom.

Long rambling post below the cut...

This year (and the last) has just taken it out of me in terms of general negativity online both in fandom and in the real world. At first I got tired of fandom (mostly because Twitter is a cesspool of policing and bullying) and then I got tired of everything else (the world sucks right now, and my mental health basically stopped me from being able to participate in any form of online activism – just because I’m not blogging about something, doesn’t mean I don’t support the cause ya know?). Earlier this year, right around the time of the UK lockdowns, I had surgery and a recovery period in which I spent a lot of time with family, and just reacquainted myself with the real world. I think perhaps the coronavirus pandemic made me realise that long before lockdown began I had already been isolating myself from my real life and diving further and further into an online black hole.

It was years in the making. Supernatural fandom preoccupied my thoughts for such a long period of time it got to the point where every moment of my non working time seemed to be spent either online scrolling my tumblr dash or twitter feed, or reading fanfic or doing something fandom related. I invested so much of myself into this show and fandom that I think I forgot who I was before I was a Supernatural fan completely.

After my wake up call in late 2019, which lead me to break free from an extremely nasty clique, I have tried to re-enter fandom on my own terms, as well as attempt to enjoy the source material and the fandom creations to ignite some new spark of love and interest in the show. Yet as much as I have tried, I have failed to do so.

I was thinking recently about someone I used to follow years ago before I ever created a blog. When I was still just lurking in the tumblr shadows and followed the likes of Mittens, Lizbob, and other meta writers of the period, there was a blogger whose name I can’t remember but she was the funniest blogger I had come across. But when the show killed off Charlie Bradbury, she quit. I had never even interacted with her, as I was barely getting my blog started at the time, but I’ll never forget a post she wrote about her feelings on the show. She had recently started watching something else (I think it was Sense8 but can’t recall entirely), and that this new show had given her everything she had never thought she could have from her fave before. She wrote about how her relationship with Supernatural had become abusive. That for years the writers of Supernatural continued to throw punches at fans like her – women, LGBTQ+ people, people of colour, and yet she continued to give it all her time and attention, brushing off the punches because she was so damn devoted to the characters. Then this new show had come along, and it was like she had seen the light. The killing of Charlie Bradbury was the last straw, and she dumped Supernatural’s ass and fled into the arms of her new love.

I hope she is doing fantastically today.

What she wrote has resonated with me for years. I was a fairly new Supernatural fan at the time, and therefore didn’t really understand what she meant. A TV show can’t be abusive. Can it?

Of course, we are speaking in metaphor here, and in no way are these metaphors meant to reduce or limit the truly serious situation of actual abusive relationships, but every now and then, when a new episode of Supernatural has left me feeling upset, disappointed, frustrated and grossly let down, in some cases affecting my mood for days at a time, and therefore my mental health. I have thought back to those words she wrote and quietly agreed with them in my head. Yes. This is a metaphorically abusive relationship.

When I discovered earlier this year that Castiel was most likely going to be killed off in some sort of bullshit self sacrifice before the end of the show, I was extremely distressed. When I found out that my favourite person of all time Misha Collins, supported this ending for Castiel, and may have even been the one who pushed for it, I was more than distressed, I felt betrayed by the person I cared about most. I’ll admit to you all now that in my weakest moments I have fantasized about standing in front of Misha and screaming at him exactly just what kind of affect his “ideal ending” for Castiel will have on his fanbase, on their mental health, and potentially their own safety. This fantasy has me guilt tripping him and doing everything in my power to make him feel utterly shit about the decision. I know what you are thinking – don’t blame Misha, the guy has his own problems and we all know he projects his own self esteem issues onto Cas – and yes, I know this, like I said its only a fantasy to get me through my darkest moments. I don’t hate Misha at all. But perhaps I do love him a little less nowadays than I did back at the height of my fandom life. That’s at least still a little bit more than my feelings for Jensen and Jared which now I can only describe as complete indifference.

I am admitting all of this now knowing full well it will ignite shock and anger among the more die hard fans of J2M, to explain why I need to just leave this fandom completely, or more accurately, why I have already left fandom.

Over the past 10 months of 2020, I have watched a lot of TV (there isn’t much else to do during a lockdown when you are on crutches with your foot in a cast!) and the one thought that occurred to me over and over again was “this show is so much better than Supernatural”.

I kept comparing everything I watched, from the quality of the scripts, the actors, the special effects, to the inclusiveness of the shows. Just so many beautiful and interesting stories that seem to understand their audience, and understand how to entertain and impress without resorting to cringe humour, outdated jokes, and prejudice, not to mention misogyny and queerbaiting – yup, I said it.

The thing is, I think these thoughts have been creeping over me slowly for longer than just this year, but I have been desperately batting them away the way Dean Winchester bats away his own gay thoughts. Unlike Dean though, eventually I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I cannot continue to carve out space in my own soul for this show, which incessantly beats me down regardless of my devotion. The creators, the network, the writers, and sometimes even the cast, have all shown that they don’t care about me as a fan. I’m not some gun toting dudebro living in middle America, so why should they give a damn about me? I’m clearly not their target audience, nor have I ever been.

I know many of you will vehemently deny my personal opinion of Supernatural now. That is absolutely fine. I am sorry to be admitting it, but I had to. I feel like once I finally write out these words, I have got it off my chest and can close and lock the door on Supernatural for good.

Without Supernatural, I am able to focus on my real life, I am able to find pleasure in other things, new things, interesting things, that bring me joy and joy alone – not disappointment and frustration. I found a new job this year, which has been a huge accomplishment as I was stagnating in my old one, and several new hobbies under my belt. I moved to a new flat, I have a lovely flatmate who has been a godsend throughout lockdown, and I have rekindled friendships that I was neglecting due to my Supernatural obsession.

All in all, I am finding post-Supernatural life far more rewarding and content than my life in fandom. It has taken me a while, but I am over the show. And whilst I will always hold a special place in my heart for Castiel, it will be as I know him in my own mind; as the wonderful, strong, powerful and determined angel with a soul, who loves so strongly, and who is worth so much more than his own creators give him credit for. He is up there with Aziraphale and Crowley, with The Doctor, and Buffy, as one of the greatest characters of all time.  

So the Supernatural writers and creators can take whatever ending they have decided upon, and shove it up their asses. I am sorry to say that Sam and Dean Winchester are also lost to me. Any love I had for them was destroyed by their later season depictions. Castiel alone is the only character worthy of that space in my heart now. If in time he longs for a companion, I will find one for him, but it won’t be the Dean Winchester of the canon show. Canon Dean hasn’t been deserving of Cas for a long time now.

Perhaps I am still a little bitter about the ending. Perhaps the finale won’t be the disaster I expect it to be, perhaps Dabb will somehow turn it all around last minute following whatever travesty Bucklemming have given us in 15x19. Either way, I won’t be watching.

So this is me saying goodbye to this blog, at least until I have decided what else to do with it. It certainly won’t be a Supernatural fandom blog anymore. It wasn’t all wasted though. I did get a wonderful friendship group out of this fandom, and I have certainly expanded my knowledge of film and television analysis, as well as having enjoyed a great many memes.

I guess in the end, my internal war with my inner bitter Cas girl finished with her winning, and writing this post. Once it is posted however, I will put her to sleep with thoughts of a happy Castiel, who has swapped his wings for a beating human heart, and is living on a beach somewhere beautiful, refurbishing an old Victorian house, and greeting his kindly elderly neighbours. There’s a gay bar on the main strip, and the bartender is quite a dish. Green eyes and light brown hair with a killer smile. Castiel thinks he looks familiar, like a memory from a past life, but they’ve definitely never met, because this man is kind.

Now that she is asleep, there is nothing left for me here. Goodbye everyone. Whether you manage to enjoy the finale or not, I truly hope you too, find your peace.

[purplesurveys]

1279

Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends?  I don’t keep contact.

Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual?  Hmmmm, I don’t think so. I feel like that would be the type of comment that would get to me so I definitely would’ve remembered it.

Would you get a lip piercing?  I don’t plan on getting any piercings.

Nose piercing?  Nopes.

What are you currently waiting for?  For this fucking day to end so I can be closer to Thursday and to the weekend.

Do you have feelings for anyone?  Nah.

Have you ever run over an animal?  Nope. I’ve had extremely close calls with animals who suddenly dart into the road, but fortunately these have all been situations wherein I got to hit the brakes with nobody behind me.

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?  That’s disgusting, no.

When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’?  Sure, out of habit and just to be polite.

When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle?  I don’t think I’ve ever been on a bouncy castle, but I’ve been on a lot of bouncy other things haha, like inflatable slides, soccer balls, Anpanmans, etc. The last time would probably be a nearly a decade ago; I definitely haven’t been near one in a while.

Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk?  Well no, because the ones I’ve been on were situated in school fairs, which is the last place I would want to be drunk in.

Have you ever entered an art competition?  No, I have no justification to join one haha.

What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. < Same. 

What is one food that you detest?  Pineapples.

Did you have a rebellious phase growing up?  Yeah I was a bit of a handful to raise, but I’m in firm in my stance that it had a lot to do with the way I was raised. I grew up mostly without a father figure because my dad worked abroad and I felt neglected by my mom who had her own shit to deal with. There was no stable support system to lean on, so I ended up lashing out a lot in my puberty years. Unfortunately everyone else just saw a rebellious child and not a plea for help.

These days when I show off my achievements on social media, I’ll see congratulatory comments from my mom’s friends and she’ll usually go on about some “late bloomers grow with time” narrative and it pisses me off because nobody knows how much I’ve had to grow and mature and learn how to be happier all by myself, all from scratch. If I had just received the proper care and attention early on, I wouldn’t have had to do any catching up to begin with.

What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic.

Are you still that religion?  Jesus no. I darted out of there as soon as I gained the consciousness to think about these sorts of things.

Do you often find yourself questioning your future?  Sometimes, but I do my best to not let it get to me.

How many friends do you have on Facebook?  Over 670.

What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school?  I started with punk rock in the first half of high school, so I had my Rancids, H2Os, Against Me!s, Cro-Mags, etc on my iPod. It evolved a little bit towards more indie, folksy sounds towards the latter half - Banks, alt-J, Hozier, Twenty One Pilots - which I largely attribute to the crowd I was part of at the time.

What pet names do you use with your significant other?  I’m pretty straightforward so baby works out for me. Other, more specific pet names just grow naturally with the relationship, I think.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries?  S&R.

Have you ever seen a theatre show?  Yeah. Most of them have been required.

What’s your favourite vegetable?  Broccoli or bell peppers.

Have you ever missed a flight?  Never. I’ve experienced several delayed flights, though, which is always such a hassle especially if the delays happen in provincial airports since they never have any recreational offers to keep passengers from getting bored other than TVs that run the same damn five ads.

Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them?  Yeah, a lot of have dogs. I’ve met some.

What color is your bedroom door?  Brown.

If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans?  Only towards obsessive ones who wouldn’t give me time to breathe or would go so far so as to stalk me or my loved ones. But I am a fan too, so I imagine I would actually be understanding of those who would ask for pictures or whatever as long as they were polite and not at all intrusive.

Have you ever met your favourite band/singer?  Nah. I am terrified of meeting celebrities HAHA so I’ve always shut down the chance. I’m pretty sure I would actually turn down the chance to meet BTS if I hypothetically suddenly got the magic keys to that door.

Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like?  No. I feel like that sort of thing just happens in like high school, when your friends are still a bit judgmental. Nowadays I don’t see why I should be embarrassed of anything I like, especially if it’s not hurting anyone.

Have you ever written a story?  I’ve made attempts but was always terrible.

Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it?  My homework that required me to write said poem hahaha.

Do you have a chance with the person you like right now? 

What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child?  Watching commercials at night. It’s still a slight fear of mine but it’s mostly dissipated now.

Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you?  About me? No. I don’t have a lot of those since I was a really shy kid who barely moved a finger anyway.

In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show?  I have a *really* soft spot for Perfect Strangers, which I actually revisited yesterday :) The show was never super popular so it’s near impossible to find clips online, but when I checked YouTube I did see a slight increase in short snippets from the show so I had a really fun time binge-watching yesterday.

What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have?  Three, but that’s pushing it. Ideally, I’d have two so my first would have company.

Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness?  Mental ones, yes.

Are you comfortable with who you are?  For the most part, yes.

Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it?  No. Why would it be any of their business?

Does popularity matter to you at all?  I mean, yeah in the sense that I honestly aspire to be well-liked by as many people as possible. But I don’t necessarily want to rub shoulders with popular kids.

Would you ever consider homeschooling your children?  Continued from sometime this week ider. No. I don’t think I’m capable of teaching, and generally I’d want them to be able to learn in a more open environment where they can have regular contact with different kinds of people.

Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to?  Well Angela got into them first and since we’re best friends, there was a certain point where she just decided to loop me into conversations that involved them. I was impossible to sway for a long time, but then one day a video compilation of them showed up on my feed, and for some reason I actually watched it, and I watched all the way through, and I was immediately intrigued – particularly by J-Hope haha. I then asked Angela to tell me more about them and the rest was...financially irresponsible history HAHAHAHA

Do you ever read fanfiction?  OMG yes. Funny you should mention that because my favorite author uploaded a brand new fic this morning, which I obviously couldn’t get to all day because I had to go to work. I’ll be reading it in all its 44,000-word glory tonight :D

Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire?  Plane crash. Instant and mostly painless.

What are your top five favourite TV shows?  Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, Friends, The Crown even though I was never able to continue it since...andddd that’s all I got.

What is your favorite superhero movie?  Not a fan of superhero movies.

If you died next week, what would be the cause of death?  Stress from overworking. I’ve FINALLY started to consider taking a leave for the first time this year because I’ve just realized just how fucking exhausted, burned out, and overwhelmed I actually already am from having no rest at all in the last 13 months.

Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why?  Yes, I do mass deactivations when I’m severely depressed. These days I can’t really afford to that anymore, though, since my work is closely tied to social media.

Who is the most talented person you know?  Probably Andi.

Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with?  No.

Where did you and your current interest go on your first date? 

Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened?  Nah. I’ve had two people like me at the same time, but there was never any tension to watch out for since they mostly didn’t know each other.

Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened?  I think they know I dated Gabie and that we broke up because they’ve stopped asking about her. Everyone knew we were best friends, so the fact that they’ve avoided her as a topic for a whole year is able to tell me something.

Are your parents more liberal or conservative?  Dad’s on the liberal side, mom dances around on the spectrum a little bit. I know she’s fine with things like tattoos and having LGBTQ+ co-workers, but she’s also conservative especially towards matters like religion.

What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year?  No longer in school.

How far away does your closest family member live?  A few footsteps away.

If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland?  It’s not my type of movie/genre to begin with.

Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not?  Yes. I don’t see the big deal; I’ve already done it anyway.

Are you more liberal or conservative?  Liberal.

Who is your favorite Harry Potter character?  Ooh not sure. I haven’t gone back to the books in a while, so I don’t remember if there was anyone I had an attachment to.

What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry?  Nothing.

What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done?  Had sex...I guess? And a bunch of stuff that comes with it.

Name something that you are against.  Racial discrimination.

Why are you against it?  Because it is infuriating to see, and it shows me the very same treatment can happen to me or my family as well and that scares me, especially since some people turn particularly violent towards people of color.

Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games?  No.

Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  I imagine I wouldn’t enjoy it if I’m not as into whoever my next partner would be.

Beatles or Rolling Stones?  I don’t listen to either.

When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody?  Not so sure about a whole change in opinion because that hasn’t happened in a while, but I grew more grateful for my manager today because I finally mustered the strength to tell her that I’m begin to struggle mentally with work and she not only encouraged (read: begged) me to file a damn leave for once, but she also got sushi delivered to my place.

What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why?  Andi was telling me about their day today and how they handled being misgendered by a prof, who then proceeded to throw a fit when he got corrected, and how they, again, maturely handled said fit. I was proud of them because there are a million ways that incident could’ve turned out, but they dealt with it in an extremely mature and calm manner considering they were the one who was wronged.

Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you?  If it was about an extremely personal problem I would probably be taken aback at first, but I still would definitely make some time for them and help in however way I can, since they apparently trust me enough to confide.

What was the last thing to fascinate you?  The music video for My Universe! Super cool to watch and I love that they made a short film out of it too.

Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you?  Doors being slammed shut, because that’s what my mom does when she’s furious. She did that when I was a kid and she does it to this day, so I get extremely nervous when I hear the sound, even if it happens by accident.

Do you have a favourite microorganism? Nope.

Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next?  My cousin Bree.

If you have pet fish do you bother to name them?  I did when I had them as a kid.

Do you keep your eggs in the fridge?  Yes?

Have you ever owned chickens?  Nope.

When did you last listen to music?  Like five minutes ago. I tried to have a jazz playlist on but I realized I wasn’t in the mood for music so I changed my background noise to have a random VLive on instead. 

[trunkzbriefs]

Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels.   Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more  budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

[siriuslyblack12]

high school paracosm

this might be the start of a mini-series where i share little bits and pieces from my paracosms/paras out of all of my current paracosms, this has the least world-building yet the most character development. it’s my second-oldest and definitely has a special place in my heart (i would literally die for any one of these characters lmaooo). it’s essentially about a group of british high school students dealing with all kinds of angst, drama and a fair amount of happiness.  i’m very scared to post this so we’ll see how it goes.

vanessa pierre

cis woman

bisexual disaster

dating cass johnson 

scouse

bottom set

she’s a natural ginger but dyes it black. blue eyes. white.

funniest person you’ll ever meet

shitty home life (to be specific, her dad left and she hasn’t seen him in years and her mum is addicted to alcohol and drugs. she tries to help her mum, but a lot of the time she has to sleep at cass or ruby’s house, or in the worst circumstances on the street.)

because of this, she always gives spare change or food to homeless people even if she didn’t have much to begin with.

her home did get better after her mum’s new boyfriend daniel checked her into rehab and group therapy to get help. everyone’s trying their best to make it work.

dyes her own hair. it’s part of her aesthetic.

friendship wise, she is closest to ruby. although she loves cass more than she loves herself.

cass johnson

non-binary 

attracted to women but doesn’t really label it.

dating vanessa pierre

top set

light brown hair with an undercut. brown eyes. mixed race.

the literal kindest, most caring and least judgemental

has a good relationship with their parents and 12 year old sister violet who are all very supportive of anything they do. definitely the type of family to  buy out the front row of every concert cass is in.

their biggest passion is musical theatre. a very talented actor and singer, their most notable role being ‘belle’ in the school production of ‘beauty and the beast’ that they also directed.

animals are also another big interest. when they get out of school they want to become a vet to help and care for all kinds of animals, and throughout high school donates any spare change to animal charities.

they’re pretty close with everyone, but particularly ezra and jonah

quite insecure about their body, but masks it with positivity and kindness. 

makes everyone around them happy.

ruby diaz

cis woman

straight and a very big ally

dated jonah blue for a year or so, but currently single

top set, very much what people would label a ‘tryhard’, ‘sweat’ or a ‘nerd’

dark curly hair. freckles. latina.

twin sister of asher diaz

she’s a very empathetic person, more often than not putting everyone else’s needs above her own. this could be to her detriment, but she’s making an effort to balance her own mental health

divorced parents, but she stays positive. goes to her dad’s house on weekends.

she likes to think she doesn’t care, but at heart she’s a hopeless romantic. the biggest shipper of every couple in the school, but particularly her brother asher and cole.

speaking of her brother, it’s one of those dynamics where they play fight constantly but would certainly die for the other

the cutest pet dog lmao

she’s a very outspoken activist, often lecturing her mum and older family members about their implicit biases

closest to vanessa and asher

asher diaz

cis man

gay

dating cole harrison-singh

middle set

dark hair. blue or brown eyes. latino.

twin brother of ruby diaz

coming out was really hard for him, as it is for a lot of queer people. he hated the fact that everyone made it such a big deal, and that they treated it as this big thing even though he’d been feeling this way for as long as he can remember

plays guitar and sings quite well, in the school band

his relationship with cole is tentative, but once they figure out their dynamic they’re extremely cute. we love to see it.

he was more affected by the divorce than his sister, and now feels quite protective over her as a sort of father figure that they no longer really have. definitely some issues he needs to work on.

very athletic

him and ezra are best friend goals, and he’s also obviously close to ruby

jonah blue

cis man

pansexual

dated ruby diaz, but currently dating erin saeli

top set, but one of those people really talented people that can get good grades without breaking a sweat

shaved head. brown eyes. darkskin black man.

his main hobby is swimming and he’s on an elite team that probably trains 6 or 7 times a week. sometimes he finds it hard to juggle that and school and a social life but he could never give it up

art is his hidden talent. mainly because he keeps it personal, but also because no one really expected someone as confident and outgoing as him to enjoy drawing and painting.

he and ruby stayed really good friends even after their breakup

if anything it made them closer 

closest to cass

ezra cheung

trans man

aro/ace

single

bottom set

dark hair. blue eyes. chinese.

he first figured out he was aro/ace when he was about 14/15 and everyone around him started to feel more comfortable in their own sexualities. his friends would talk to him about crushes and he’d just smile and nod.

mental health is something he really struggles with. fitting his life around bad days and episodes is a chore in and of it’s own. 

but he’s trying his best to get the help he needs and reach out to his friends whenever he needs someone to talk to.

would punch transphobes except he’s too nice

closest to asher and cass. him and cass bond over gender and cute kittens.

minor paras:

cole harrison-singh

cis man

gay

dating asher diaz

top set

brown hair. blue eyes. white.

adopted by lesbian mums, lily harrison and naveena singh. these two are an absolute power couple

he and asher met through the school band and he’s a very skilled piano player. despite this, he gets very shy when it comes to performing in front of other people so doesn’t do it often.

experiments with genderless clothing and makeup

just an all around good person

martha quinn

cis woman

straight

single

top set

ginger!! blue eyes and lots of freckles. white.

a teahcer’s pet to her core, would sell anyone out for validation (honestly me too)

doesn’t get along well with any of the other paras, but does warm up to them and make an effort to be a better person eventually. character development

crushed on jonah when he first moved to the school but got over it quite quickly

erin polka

cis woman

bisexual

dating jonah blue

middle set

long dark hair. thai.

works at mcdonalds part time

a girly-girl who is no less amazing and strong than the other women (i will have no internalised misogyny anywhere near me thank you very much)

big introvert. when she does speak or show passion in something you know it’s well thought out and communicated.

very very pretty. if she was real i would date her.

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy 16x14 review

(Who hurt the writers on Grey's? Everyone is breaking up and everyone's unhappy.)

_________________________________________

Deluca

Talking about him first because he is the biggest mess on Grey's right now and that's saying something. I really hope its sleep deprivation and not anything else because the way he's heading, hes gonna either be put in the mental or fired and either way no one can say he wouldn't deserve it. He was just out of it the whole episode. He was an ass to Dr Haynes who is one of his superiors, Yelling at Meredith in front of everyone, bringing out all of their personal business and even if he didn't care that's really embarrassing for the chief of surgery to be yelled at by a resident. He broke up with Meredith and THEN YELLED AT THE PATIENT. I was just done by then and Dr Riley calling him a machine 😳😱😰, wow what is happening to sweet innocent Deluca? I miss him. I sure hope that they figure out fast and solve what the hell is wrong with him or he's gone.

_________________________________________

Meredith

Apparently had no patients or chief of general surgery duties to do, so she decided to steal Deluca's out of concern, only to be yelled at, dumped and embarrassed by her resident/boyfriend. Honestly I don't know what to say, well for starters she should have either left Deluca alone or suggested the problem to Bailey and have another Doctor take over Suzanne instead of taking over the case. She can't keep using her Chief of General status to protect him. She should have chewed him out and told him to go get some sleep like she would have done with any other resident. Was kinda disappointed she let him talk to her like that. Come on Mer great sex or not he's not worth lowering your respect at work, at least not again you already went through that as an intern.

_________________________________________

Dr Haynes/ Mc Widow

So far so good, still not at shipper level with him and Mer yet, but as a stand alone character hell yea he's awesome. I kinda like him as the peds dr as well, him trying to help Joey with his physical therapy was something that he could have pawned of to an intern but no he made it his priority to find out himself how to help Joey, you can tell he really cares for his patients. My heart melted when he discussed with Bailey on how to help Joey, and then when he tried to defend Meredith form Deluca who is currently in hulk form. He's a cool addition to the cast so far.

_________________________________________

Jo Wilson/Karev

Is definitely on the brink of breaking and who could blame her? However she needs to find another way to break besides sticking her nose in other people's business. When she was talking to Link about Amelia earlier about having a tumor and not wanting kids. She definitely did not have the whole story about that and needed to zip it then in the OR with Owen she brought up how he would feel if Amelia's baby was HIS OMG, she almost ruined everything. For a second I wanted to slap her but then when she started to cry at the phone call with Alex and I couldn't stay mad, she's definitely suffering right now. Why are they doing it this way? I can't understand. They made a reference with the bear case and rekindled old flames that made me wonder if Alex found Izzie Idk, I'll have to wait and see.

On another note though, did they really try to validate affairs on that episode last night? Wow.

_________________________________________

Owen

Giving advice on how to care for a pregnant woman to Link on the elevator..... what a cringe 😖😖. Link knew and he didn't. And then besides going to the ultrasounds was Owen really there for Teddy? the 1st third Teddy was afraid to tell him she was pregnant, the 2nd third he spent being upset with Teddy and sorting out his relationship with Amelia and the adopted kids and the 3rd third he was pissed at Teddy's relationship with Koracick so when we think about it is he really qualified to give advice??? That was all he did in the episode, give advice, even to Jo. Since when is he a reliable source at giving advice.

_________________________________________

Bailey

Nothing much to do, except give a PSA on menopause, kicking Deluca off the case, temporarily ending powered up Deluca and sharing some joy with Joey while also attempting to share some with Richard. She is definitely going to help Joey, I'm not sure about the others since they seem to be happy and settling into their new homes well. Plus 4 adoptees as well as Tuck, that might be a little too much to handle. I was happy to see her and Richard's friendship as I usually am. That is the most personal I've seen their friendship usually it's mostly work husband to work wife. She's concerned and for good reason because I've never seen him so down before, it's almost at alcoholism relapse level and she's probably the only one left to help him.

_________________________________________

Richard

Is in a deep slump. His wife left him, hes separated and work no longer seems to be doing the trick for distracting him. Hes not teaching the interns and refusing to accept the help from friends. I hope this isn't a relapse coming or a cheating scandal either. Richard you've come too far now to go backwards. Get it together and surprise Catherine by being great.

_________________________________________

Amelia/Link

They broke up........ saw it coming but yet didn't see it coming and the excuse she used. Idk it was a little weak at the end of the day anyone would be sceptical to enter a relationship with potentially another man's baby. It may however be for the best right now, she had a rough pregnancy before where her baby died and the paternity stress definitely isn't good for her and baby. She needs to focus on her and her kid for now to ensure a healthy birth. Then for sure she needs to get the test done and face the problem. Props for her though for finally realizing that Maggie is possibly one of the most supportive people ever and deserves to be supported as well.

_________________________________________

Maggie

May have finally found her person in Amelia Shepherd who after being shown how it's done to be a supportive person has seemed to try it for herself. Their moments tonight were sweet to me Amelia is more like her half sister than Mer is. They really are sweet and are developing a close bond. When Amelia called her everything at the end to Link❤❤❤. I think this is the beginning to a beautiful sister hood.

_________________________________________

Jackson

Mark Sloan's work reincarnated, then in the episode at the end, popped up out of no where outside Meredith's house to apologize for being an ass to Maggie at the end of their relationship. Basically just a filler role tonight.

_________________________________________

Nico and Levi

They were the most confusing of the night and that's saying something. At the beginning of their relationship Nico tells Levi he doesn't want a baby gay who's parents don't know that he's gay and after Levi outed himself to his parents and family and everyone else causing conflict among his family Nico then confesses that his own parents are unaware that he's gay.

Say what????????????

The funniest part to me about it is that when Levi was about to tell him how wrong it was for Nico to come at him for not telling his parents when he himself didn't even tell his own family, Nico was like I know what I said,....... excuse me what? The writers didn't even try with this one, they made him say one thing and was like well we need to throw some good old fashion conflict in these guy's relationships so let's just ignore what he said earlier and go from there. It sucks because they really were a great couple with potential.

_________________________________________

End notes/Questions

• I'm incredibly thankful that Suzanne lived so that her kids could see her again. She really is an awesome mom, and her family dynamic, with her sister reminds me of the one I have with my sister, so that case really did hit a spot.

• The foster kids reunion was so cute and how sweet is Joey, hes like the kindest teenager ever. And so are his siblings, they're all adorable.

• I need them to do something with the place they're taking Deluca down and solve it fast because I don't like the place he's heading.

• Same goes for Alex, hes ghosting Jo and now Meredith. I know they have to try to take the band aid off slowly so it won't affect Jo's character but I wished they'd do it without erasing Alex's growth.

• Will Link and Amelia get back together and who's the father Owen or Link?

• Is Richard going to have a relapse or is something going to change.

• Will Ben and Bailey adopt Joey and his siblings, just Joey or none. For some reason I can feel a Ben and Bailey conflict coming on, they haven't discussed the miscarriage and that's bad.

• What's going to happen with Livi and Nico? I'm at a lost on where it's going at this point.

• Pac north is gone, are we going to see some more new doctors at the hospital?

• And last and most importantly, can we have at least one healthy happy couple on Grey's If not I'll settle for a happy healthy person.

[thetravelerwrites]

Fuzz (MLM Mothman) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Male Human/Male Mothman Additional Tags: Exophilia, Mothman, Male Reader, Male Monster, D&D, Dungeons & Dragons, Tabletop Gaming, Interspecies Romance, Social Anxiety, Gay Monster, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Anal Sex, Safe Sex, Condoms Words: 7185

A fun commission for @severedreamerbeard​. A man meets a shy silkmoth mothman in a hobby store during a free comic day, and invites him to play D&D with his friends. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Free Comic Friday always drew a huge crowd in your favorite local comic shop, but it was packed to the rafters today. The first issue of a graphic novel reboot had dropped and they were offering five hundred free copies, first come first served. You’d been dying to get your hands on it since the reboot had been announced, and you couldn’t believe it was finally out.

Happily swinging the bag around, you didn’t leave immediately once you got your copy like most of the crowd had done. This was one of your favorite places to hang out. It wasn’t like a lot of comic shops that seemed to only attract one demographic; there was always a nice mix of different people. Tabletop gamers, comic enthusiasts, collectors of various nerdy things, cosplayers who needed supplies to make their costumes: all sorts came through here and you loved it.

You got a text from your friend, Shannon, who knew you’d be there and snickered. She’d lost her D20, again, and wanted you to pick up another one in blue, preferably with sparklies so that it matched her current favorite set. Rolling your eyes and smirking, you headed for the dice aisle.

To your surprise, there was a very large, tall mothman standing there, though he was hunched over a little, rolling a die over and over. It was a new type of die that lit up when you rolled it, and the moth’s eyes brightened every time he saw the lights inside activate.

He was almost all white and extremely fluffy; the fluffiest part of him was the ruff around his neck. His large wings were folded against his back, complete with long tails on each like a lunar moth. He had four arms, the top pair larger than the lower pair, which were sort of wrapped around himself, and his hands had two long, large fingers and a thumb each, all a velvety brown in color. He wore no clothing, only a baseball cap with his brown, feather-like antennae sticking out of the holes at the top. The cap said “Will Work for Cuddles” on it.

Mothmen were rare, and you’d seen one or two before, but you’d never been close enough to one to actually talk to them.

“That’s a great set,” You said. “They just got them in last week.”

The mothman jumped, startled, but he grinned a little. “Heh…” He stammered nervously. “Yeah. I… I hate to perpetuate a stereotype, but I am attracted to things that light up.”

He spoke softly, like he was nervous people would hear him. It was cute, but you almost worried about him. The poor thing must have been terrified to come in here with so many people, but the pull of nerd junk can be strong sometimes.

“Do you play?” You asked him, gesturing at the die.

“Play?” The replied, confused.

“Yeah, D&D,” You said, and after a moment of him continuing to look confused, you elaborated. “Dungeons and Dragons. The tabletop game. What you use these dice for.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, fidgeting. “No, I… I’ve never played. I’ve always wanted to, but… none of my friends are into nerdy stuff like I am. That and I’m kind of new in town, so I haven’t met many people yet. I was lucky to find this hobby shop. I was just walking past and saw it and figured I’d stop in. Is it always this busy?”

“On free comic day, absolutely,” I said with a smile. “So... not to be creepy since it’s literally the first time we’ve met, but my friends and I play every Sunday evening. We’re actually about to start a brand new campaign. You’re more than welcome to join. If you like, you can come ‘round Saturday at lunch and we can build you a character sheet, so that your prepared for the campaign.”

“Really?” He said, his voice timid but excited. “I’d love that! Thanks so much!”

“It’s no trouble,” You said, pulling out your phone. “Here, put your info in my phone and I’ll text you my address.”

He took your phone with a big grin on his face and put in his number. You took your phone back and looked.

“Fuzz?” You asked. “That’s a little on the nose, ain’t it?”

He laughed, a really pleasant sound. “It’s a nickname. Uh…listen… I… I’m actually on my lunch break, so I need to get back to work, but… I’m really looking forward to playing with you and your friends. I’ve always wanted to try.”

“We’d love to have you,” You told him, smiling. He bade you farewell and left, looking back before he headed out of the door and smiling widely at you one last time.

You looked down at the light-up dice, pursed your lips, and snatched up a whole set of them plus a carry bag. You were halfway to the check out when you realized you forgot Shannon’s D20 and doubled back for it.

The next day at lunchtime, Fuzz arrived at your home with pizza in his hand. You were going to throw together some grilled cheeses, but this was way better.

“Thanks, man,” You said, taking it and setting it on the counter in your apartment.

“No prob,” Fuzz replied. His neck ruff seemed to have been brushed shiny and the hat he wore today said “Nap Champion.” “I didn’t know what kind of toppings you’d like, so I just went for a good ol’ cheese.”

“I love cheese,” You told him. “I’ve got you a fresh character sheet printed out and the manual ready. You can look through it while I’m plating this up. What would you like to drink? I’ve got soda, beer, water, and apple juice.”

“Is it… weird if I ask for juice?” He said shyly, hunching his shoulders. “It’s better for my stomach than the other things.”

“Apple juice it is,” You said, pouring a glass. You took the plates and cups to the table, watching Fuzz go over the character sheet with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“I am very confused,” He murmured, almost to himself.

You laughed. “Well, that’s why you’re here. I’ll teach you.” I sat next to him and took a big bite of pizza. “Okay, so, first, you’re going to choose your race. It makes everything after that a little bit easier. I know this sheet tells you to choose a name first, but choosing a name is easier if you know what race you are, because certain races have naming conventions. Like, Tabaxis have tribal naming conventions, so you can’t choose a name like… Frank, for example.”

“Got it,” Fuzz said.

“Take a look at mine,” You said, pulling out your own character sheet full of annotations and stats. “My character is a calashite human cleric, which is like a priest, devoted to the god of knowledge, and my alignment is Lawful-Good. Now, most races will have default alignments, but you can decide what you want yours to be.”

“Okay,” Fuzz replied, trying to keep it all straight. “Hmm… are there any insect races I can play as?”

“Unfortunately, no,” You told him. “But, the cool thing about fantasy is that you can be whatever you want.”

“But I want to be a bug,” He said dryly.

You snorted. “Just look through and see if there’s something you like.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, pointing at a drider. “That’s a bug!”

“That’s an arachnid,” I pointed out.

“Same difference,” He said.

“Don’t spiders eat moths?” You joked.

“I will take my pizza and go home, mister,” Fuzz said, poking fun right back. You were glad he was getting comfortable enough with you to joke around.

“Driders aren’t playable either,” You replied, laughing. “What about a shifter? That way you can take on aesthetic characteristics an insect, if you like. And the single-skins have white hair, like your fur.”

“Okay, okay,” Fuzz said. “What about a name?”

“Shifters usually have monosyllabic names, so anything you can think of with a single syllable.”

“Like Fuzz, you mean?”

“Are you really going to call your character by your real name?” You asked, smiling.

He smiled back, his lips the same velvety brown as his antennae and hands. “I told you, it’s a nickname. Trust me, it’s better than my real one. Only my parents and siblings know that.”

“Not even your girlfriend?” You asked him.

“Ah… no girlfriend,” He said, shrugging shyly and ducking his head, his antennae waving a little erratically. “I.. uh… don’t lean that way, if you know what I mean.”

You waved your hand. “I’m bi, so no judgment,” You told him, and he relaxed.

You both settled on alignment, level, and class, and then it was time to roll for his stats.

“Oh,” He said with a frown. “I… shit, I don’t have dice.”

“No worries,” You told him, taking out the bag you bought and rolling out the light-up set he’d been admiring.

“You bought those for me?” He asked, his shyness returning, reaching for the bag with a cautious grin.

“Yep,” You told him. “It’s no big deal. I knew you’d need a set and you seemed to like these, so I just--”

You were cut off when he grabbed you with his large upper arms and hugged you. God, his fur was soft. You’d never actually touched it before now, but with your face pressed against it, it was softer than angora and smelled like fresh herbs.

He released you suddenly, as if catching himself doing something he hadn’t meant to do. “Sorry, sorry… that was just… really nice of you.”

“Hey, it’s totally cool. I’m a hugger, too,” You told him, patting his upper shoulder. “Alright, let me show you how the dice work and then we’ll roll for your stats.”

You’d had a great time with him fleshing out his character, and once he got over his initial shyness, he was one of the funniest people you’d ever met. He had you in stitches until dinnertime, when he told you he had to go home and unpack. Apparently, when he said he’d just moved there, he meant just. You got another hug as he left, and it was just as soft and warm as the first one.

You felt a little disappointed after he was gone and couldn’t wait to see him the next evening.

For the next twenty four hours, you felt fidgety and restless, excited to see Fuzz again and start the new campaign. Rick had been working for weeks on the plot and obstacles, and he was always the best DM.

Fuzz met you at your house wearing a ball cap that read “Don’t Mess with Me*” and in fine print under the asterisk, continued with, “I’ll Cry A Lot and It Will Be Uncomfortable for Both of Us.” He gave you one of his warm, cuddly hugs and rode with you to Rick’s place. Rick, Shannon, Dag, and Jenna were standing out on the porch with sodas and beer, talking and laughing, and they saluted you with their various beverages as you drove onto the driveway.

“Hey, buddy!” Rick said as you got out of the car. “This your new friend?”

“Fuzz,” The shy mothman said, tentatively reaching out a hand.

“Ha! That’ll be easy to remember,” Rick said, shaking his hand. “I’m Rick. This is Dag.” Rick pointed at a large orc with a sort of a gold tan over his light green skin who gave Fuzz a half-salute. “Jenna.” She was a human with dark skin and tight curls who waved at Fuzz with a bright smile. “And Shannon.” Shannon was part fae, you knew, but you were never sure what her exact nature was. But, then again, all fae were like that. She had pearlescent skin and rosy hair cut short and buzzed on one side. Her bright green pupils were slitted and just a bit too large for her face. Fuzz ducked his head and and gave a little nod each time someone was introduced, trying to make eye contact.

“We’re just waiting for Russel. Can I get you something to drink?” Rick asked Fuzz.

“Do you, um… do you have water? Fizzy stuff makes me a bit sick,” Fuzz said.

“You got it, bud,” Rick said, reaching for a bottle out of the cooler.

Russel was Rick’s twin and lived next door, but he was always late. You didn’t understand why, but Rick shrugged and said he’d always been like that. It’s why Russel wasn’t allowed to DM.

Russel wandered over about five minutes later, and an a minute or two after that, the sushi that Rick ordered showed up. After paying, the seven of you went into the house to get started.

“Okay, so, everyone has their completed character sheets ready to go?” Rick asked, and you all held up your papers while stuffing your faces with california rolls. “Good. Dice? Minis?”

“We didn’t have time to make Fuzz’s mini,” You said.

“No big deal, I’ve got a ton of spares. I always keep a few blanks on hand because of this dingus over here.” He gestured at his brother. “He always forgets to make a miniature.” Rick handed Fuzz a box with blank miniatures in it, carefully separated by foam. Fuzz picked a slender humanoid and set it in front of him.

“Now,” Rick said. “If we are all ready to proceed?” He looked around the table and everyone nodded. Fuzz was shifting in his chair with both nervousness and excitement. “Very well. Our adventure starts in the midst of chaos! Inside a small inn of the road inside the land of Turmish, on the edge of the Sword Coast, a bar fight is raging. The bar is affectionately known by travelers as The Drunken Worm, and for good reason. Currently, though, windows are being smashed up, tables are being thrown, people are flying through the air, there is an absolute roar of voices drowning out any other sound. And in the midst is someone trying to calm the turmoil, only to have a chair smashed over her head. Shannon, that would be you, please describe your character.”

“Okay,” Shannon said, bouncing a little in her seat. “I am a very large, dark blue dragonborn named Anshez. I have a shortish snout with sharp teeth jutting out of my lips. I have two sets of horns on my head, which now have bits of wood dangling from them, and three lines of ridges down my back to the tip of my tail. My eyes are blue as well, and I’m wearing contrasting light blue robes with slits up to my knees for easier movement, and I have a large bastard sword strapped to my back.”

“Excellent,” Rick said, writing that down. “Now, for the unfortunate person who was wielding that chair.” Rick pointed at you. “What is your character?”

“I’m calashite human cleric,” You said. “My name is Khemed Pashar. I’m quite up there in age, as far as humans go; before I decided to travel, I spent forty years in a monastery in study and prayer. I have greying hair and a pale complexion, and I’m wearing white robes with a green panel down the front lined with silver embroidery. The panel has the insignia of the god of the pursuit of knowledge, Oghma, my patron. My only companion is a guide I hired a few days ago.”

“Why is a cleric hurling chairs?” Dag asked.

“I’m just going with the story, man,” You said.

“Anyway,” Rick said. “Anshez, who was once trying to calm the situation, is now slowly drawing her blade from the sheath on her back. Suddenly, someone appears and grabs her arm.”

“That would be me,” Jenna said. “I am a mustard yellow tiefling ranger named Varan, with horns and hooves that are shiny black. My eyes are also black and reflective. I’m wearing a knee-length dress of tightly woven chainmail and a leather vest over it. I have bracers on both my lower and upper arms. I grab my friend’s arm to stop her from hurting the frail looking human and try to calm her.”

“Roll a persuasion check,” Rick said.

“16, and I have a +2 advantage,” Jenna said.

“You are successful in talking down your partner, though she is still angry.”

“If I apologized, would she forgive me?” You asked.

“Roll for it,” Rick said. You rolled. Nat 1. The table burst into uproarious laughter.

“She would not,” Rick said with a chuckle. “In fact, she can barely hear your apology over the din, so she thinks you’re mocking her and she’s now holding a grudge against you.”

“Shit,” You said, grinning.

“Can I jump in?” Fuzz ventured cautiously.

“Definitely,” Rick said. “Your character?”

“I’m a wildhunt shifter druid,” Fuzz said. “I’m just under seven feet tall, and my current mask takes on the characteristics of a brown bear. I’m wearing a hat with a veil that covers most of my face and a pair of loose pants that doesn’t obstruct my movement. I’m in the employ of the cleric; he hired me to be his guide.”

“Good, good.” Rick makes notes. “Your name?”

“Fuzz,” He said.

“Your character name,” Rick said.

“That’s is my character name,” Fuzz said with a shy grin.

Rick snorted. “Okie-dokie. What are the two of you doing in all this?” He asks Dag and Russel.

“We’re bards,” Dag said. “I’m a halfling playing a fiddle.”

“A halfling? Really?” Tiny Shannon said, snickering.

“You’re a dragonborn, shut up,” Dag said, and Shannon giggled, playfully slapping his arm. “My name is Taurin Goodwort. My companion and I are on the small, dingy stage in the corner, trying to play over the noise. We’ve been paid, so by gods, we’re going to do our jobs. I’m wearing a coat that’s slightly too big but my clothes underneath are finely tailored and well fitted. I’m a dapper dude.”

“I’m also playing, but I’m a lute player,” Russel said. “I’m a grey tabby tabaxi not much taller than my halfling friend. My name is Game of Chance, but I go by Chance. My clothes are flashy and covered in shiny trinkets and bells that jingle to the beat when I stomp my paws.”

“Aww,” Jenna said, scratching behind Russel’s ear. He whacked her hand away, and she grinned.

Once the introductions were finished, the campaign was underway. Despite the chaos of the bar fight, the six of you hear the woeful tale of a patron of the bar, a missing son, an actual dragon, an actual dungeon, and all the traps that is implied. Fuzz opened up slowly as the campaign waged on, and his druid had the party in howling with laughter by the end of the night. When the seven of you wrapped up for the night, Fuzz had an open invitation to come back, with or without you.

Fuzz came to every Sunday session from then on, and though it took him some time to get over his anxiety around people, he swiftly became friends with everyone at the table. Despite how much he and the other were getting along, though, he always sat next to you. Perhaps even though he was getting over his shyness, he was still more comfortable next to you.

You weren’t complaining; you liked being close to him. In fact, the two of you had become really good friends, having lunch twice a week and texting constantly. You had your phone in your hand at all times, waiting for his response. You’d woken up with a dead phone on your chest on a number of occasions.

One weekday, after painting his miniature, he took you for dinner, although he didn’t know any good spots since he was still new in town and told you to pick. You decided on Japanese, though the restaurant was a bit full, and it made him nervous. You offered to go somewhere else, but he said it was fine and that he’d brave it, but only for you, making you blush a little. You grabbed his hand and led him through the throngs of people, and his grip tightened on yours.

It took a month for you to realize that… maybe you weren’t just feeling friendship for Fuzz. You liked him a lot. You thought about him all the time and looked forward to his hugs and touching his fur and listening to his laugh and the chittering noise he made when he was happy or excited.

Then, one late evening after the two of you had said goodnight, you had other thoughts. You wondered what his… intimate parts looked like. What they felt like. What they tasted like. And the idea excited you. Thinking about it, you felt yourself getting hard, and you stroked yourself to the thought of touching him, finding out where his private places were and playing with them, and teasing them. Kissing him and cuddling him and getting him to make those cute noises you loved to hear. You moaned at the thought, jerking faster as your imagination ran away with you. You came all over your hand and stomach, gasping and sweating, but it wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted him. Nothing else was good enough.

During the sixth session after Fuzz had joined the campaign, when he wore a cap that just said, “LAMPS!” in big, bold letters, your party had located the lost bar patron’s son, but he was a mind slave to an aboleth, one of many, enslaved to dig out an enclave for the creature to built it’s own small hold, so it could rule by itself. Aboleth’s are extraordinarily selfish creatures, and while they often group together, this one’s desires had driven him to make its own place to lord over. The trick was going to be defeating the aboleth without hurting any of the enslaved, as they were all sons and daughters of the local villages.

It was hard to concentrate on the game with Fuzz next to you. He always sat next to you during every game, but he seemed especially close this evening. You’d glance at him surreptitiously to find him looking at you. When you caught him, he’d smile and look away. He seemed to find reasons to touch you, whether it was to pass you something or to reach past you for something. His fur smelled as good as it always did.

You were filled with such doubts, though. Could you just be reading to much into it? You hadn’t really dated a lot, and you’d never dated a non-human. What if he was just overly friendly to compensate for his shyness? What if you told him how you felt and he didn’t feel the same? You enjoyed spending time with him, and he was so shy that you were scared of pushing him away with your feelings. You tried to push it out of your mind. You had an aboleth to defeat.

“For my turn, I’m going to make a mad dash an possibly take the hit so that I can cast Dispel Illusion to get rid of the aboleth’s secondary illusion,” Jenna said.

“Uh…” Rick checked his notes. “The aboleth is at level 13, and you are level 7, so you only have slightly more than half a chance of this working, so roll for it.”

“Um…” The clattering of Jenna’s die as it rolled across her board. “13, and I have +5 intelligence.”

“Okay, so your spell was successful, but it won’t stop him from creating another in a few minutes and that’s the end of your turn. You’re surrounded by enslaved and they are being driven to rip you apart.” He rolled his die. “They pretty much tear you to shreds. You take… 63 points of damage.”

“Gah!” Jenna said, flopping back into her chair and huffing. “Balls. I’m down.”

“I’m going to use the diversion to summon fiendish monstrous scorpions to draw the enslaved away,” Fuzz said.

“Nice,” You told him in an undertone. He grinned sideways at you.

“Chance and I take this opportunity to check the pond for other enslaved that we hadn’t seen.” Both Dag and Russel rolled. 18 and 12.

“You don’t see anything, only the aboleth growling menacingly at you, preparing to summon another illusion,” Rick said.

Shannon and Jenna then began pulling unconscious enslaved away from the pond.

“Alright, so my big finishing move,” You said, tugging at your sleeves confidently. “Now that I know the pond is free of collateral damage, I cast Lightning Bolt.”

“Roll for your attack.”

“Buh… Ooh! 27!”

“Lightning Bolt is affective!” Rick said. “But the aboleth is not completely destroyed.”

“So we all bum-rush him?” Fuzz asked.

“Hell yeah!” Shannon exclaimed. “Except for Jenna, cause she dead as fuck.”

Jenna stuck her tongue out. “Hey, I broke through enemy lines, gave you guys an advantage, and died like a goddamn hero, so you can suck on all my balls.”

“You ain’t got balls!” Shannon said.

“You don’t know my life!” Jenna shot back.

“I’m your wife, dumbass!” Shannon retorted.

“Would you guys shut your cakeholes and kill this thing, please? I would like to go to bed before 2 A.M. this time,” Rick said.

With the aboleth destroyed and the slaves freed, you collected a hefty bounty from the grateful townspeople and wrapped up the session with big hug all around.

As the night was winding down, with people finishing off snacks and getting their coats and belongings together, Shannon cornered you in the kitchen.

“So, what’s going on with you and Fuzz?” She asked in an almost-whisper.

You looked back over your shoulder anxiously, worried that Fuzz overheard, but he was talking to Dag and Rick.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“Oh, please, you are so obvious and oblivious at the same time. Everyone in the group know the two of you are practically in love with each other except for you and him.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” You told her dismissively. “Even if I did like him, I have no way of knowing if he feels the same way. And I’m not saying I do have feelings for him.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?” She said exasperatedly. “I’ve watched the two of you make goo-goo eyes and ‘accidentally’ on-purpose touch each other all night. He’s head over heels for you. And you are for him, I can tell. We can all tell. Hell, we have a pool going for when you guys are just going to give in and fuck.”

“Shannon!” You hissed. She had said that last sentence a little too loud for your liking.

“Look, you guys have lunch by yourselves all the time, so it’s clear you’re comfortable being alone. Just ask him to go out with you!”

You sighed, looking back over at Fuzz, wearing that sweet smile on his face and laughing at something Dag said.

“I’ll think about it,” You told her.

“I bet I win the pot,” She said, grinning cheekily, and you shooed her off with an impatient grimace.

On the way home, you scratched the back of your neck and asked, “So, I know you’re new to the area, so I’m sure you don’t know much about the local events, right?”

“Nothing at all,” He replied. “Why?”

Your heart was hammering in your chest. You wondered if he could hear it. “Well, next week’s session is postponed because of our town’s fireworks festival. Do you like fireworks?”

He chirruped excitedly, which was probably the most adorable sound you’d ever heard in your life. “I love fireworks!”

“Awesome! That’s awesome…” You gulped a little. “That’s really good, because I was… wondering… if maybe… you’d like to go with me?”

“Yeah!” He said. “Is the group going?”

“Oh, yeah,” You said, clearing your throat. “They’ll be there, but I, uh… I was thinking maybe it could, you know, just… be the two of us?”

“Sure, that’ll be fun, but why aren’t we going with the group?”

“Because…” You said, struggling to get the words out. “This is special. I want to spend time with you. Just with you, you know what I mean?”

You pulled into your driveway and parked before turning to look at Fuzz. He was gaping at you.

“You mean, like a date?” He asked.

“Yeah,” You said. “If that’s okay?”

“That’s totally okay,” He said, a slow grin spreading across his face. “I’d love to go with you.”

You laughed in relief. “Awesome. I can’t wait.”

You both got out of the car and he gave you a hug before leaving, lingering a little longer this time. You ran your fingers through the fur of his back, up and down, and he sighed before pulling away.

“See you?” He asked.

“See you,” You replied.

The next weekend, you picked him up at his apartment. He had a basket in one hand and a quilt over his shoulder. His hat said “I Like Shiny Objects” on it. Apt for the situation, you thought.

He raised a free hand in greeting. “Hey!”

“Hey,” You said in return as he got in. “Ready?”

“Very much so,” He replied, and you smiled at him. “I’m glad you asked me out. I wanted to ask you, but I was too anxious.”

You felt a blush creep up your neck. You were glad it was already dark.

“When do the fireworks start?” He asked.

“Seven-thirty,” You replied. “I want to get there early to find a good spot.”

Fifteen minutes later, you arrived at the fairgrounds to realize that you weren’t the only person to have this idea. The place was already packed. You frowned.

“Well, so much for that idea,” You said.

“What’s behind that fence over there?” Fuzz asked, pointing past the field.

“Oh, nothing but forest,” You told him. “There’s supposed to be wildcats out there, so it’s to keep kids out.”

“We aren’t kids,” Fuzz said.

“Yeah, but I don’t know where the the gate is, and that’s too high for me to climb,” You told him.

“Oh, no,” Fuzz replied a little sarcastically, fluttering his wings a bit. “What a dilemma. Whatever shall we do?”

You smirked, feeling your heart flutter as well. “You want to fly over?”

“Got a better idea?”

You put your hands on your hips and ducked your head, unsure. You felt one of his hands on your cheek and you looked up at him.

“Trust me,” He said softly.

His large thumb was achingly close to your lips, but you resisted and urge to kiss it. “I do.”

He grabbed you around the middle with your arms around his neck and flew you up and over the fence from a secluded corner of the field. He managed to find a hill with a very small clearing, perfect for a quilt, sitting right next to a big oak tree.

“This is amazing,” You told him, looking down the hill with a clear view off the field and the sky. “You can see everything from this vantage.”

“You like this?” He asked, setting down everything he brought.

“Yeah,” You answered. “It’s incredible.”

“Good,” He said in a soft voice, coming up behind you and wrapping both arms around you. “We can be alone here for as long as we like.”

His voice was low, almost seductive, and you’d never heard him use it before. It sent tingles down your spine and in… other places.

The two of you lay out the quilt and the spread he’d prepared. It was the quintessential date picnic: fruit, cheese, wine, crackers, all kinds of fancy things that you’d never actually had before, like fig jam and stuff. It was all really cool, but it felt strangely “by the book.”

“Fuzz, can I ask you something?”

He looked at you with a surprised expression. “Sure, anything.”

“You’ve never been on a date before, have you?” You asked him.

His face fell a little. “That obvious, huh?”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” You assured him. “And this is amazing, and I’m having a great time. I just don’t want you to think that you have to do all of this,” You waved your hand at the picnic. “To win me over. You’ve already done that. I wouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t like being with you.”

He smiled. “I do have a tendency to second-guess myself. It’s just… being gay is difficult for humans, but it can be more so for non-humans. I don’t know why, but there’s this expectation that if your not human and sentient, you have to like girls. Human beings would be shocked how many non-humans aren’t straight.”

“I wouldn’t,” You said. “Shannon’s a lesbian, and I’ve known her forever. I know full well that non-humans don’t live by the same standards that humans do, and humans can be blind to that, even among their own people. I guess that explains why you’re so shy.”

He laughed. “Nah, I’ve always been like that. I’ve never really--”

At that moment, the first shell when off, catching Fuzz’s attention. He got up from the quilt and walked to where the hill just began to slope downward and watched the fireworks with a look of pure joy. Wanting to be close to him, you stepped in front of him and pressed your back against his front. He circled his arms around you again. And for a moment, the two of you just watched the lights.

You turned your head and looked up at his face, seeing the bursts of colored embers reflected in his large, black eyes, and you were mesmerized. He noticed you watching him and looked down at you, smiling his soft, sweet smile.

And he kissed you.

His lips were as velvety as they looked, and you spun in his arms to reach yours around him, pressing your body as close as you could. The pop and crackle and flashes of light against your closed eyes made this seem like a dream, but you were bathing in the sensation of having his body wrapped around you. God, you had wanted this.

When you broke apart, you were both breathing heavily.

“So…” You began stroking the fur on the back of his neck. “I had a question…”

“About?” Fuzz asked.

“Well… you don’t wear clothes… but I’ve never seen your… well… your dick…”

Fuzz’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He seemed momentarily at a lost for words.

“O--oh,” He breathed finally. “It’s… that’s because… it’s tucked away. Inside me. I comes out when I…”

“When you’re aroused?” You guessed. He nodded, not meeting your eye. “Is there some way I can… make that happen?”

He looked back up at you with wide, huge, terrified eyes, “Yes,” He whispered. He took your hand and led you back to the quilt. Cautiously, he reached out a hand and tugged at your shirt, but stopped short before actually removing it. You helped him get the shirt off you and he continued to undress you until you were naked in front of him. He ran the fingers of his upper right hand down your torso, starting at your collarbone and stopping at the tuft of hair that sat just about your ridged length.

“This is definitely helping,” He said breathlessly.

“What can I do?” You asked eagerly. “I’ve wanted to do this for a while now.”

“You have?” He asked hopefully. You nodded and he laughed in relief. “Me too.”

He sat back against the oak tree and opened his legs in front of you, reaching down with his lower pair of hands to part the fur at the apex of his legs. There, you saw a slit, mostly brown like his hands and lips, but fading to pink as it went inward.

“Just touch,” He said. “It’ll open.”

You knelt down in front of him and pressed a finger to the slit, slowly rubbing it up and down. A low trill issued from Fuzz as he let his head fall back against the tree and his breathing hitched. The hands of his upper arms took your face in his hands and pulled you forward for a deep kiss as you massaged the opening, feeling it begin to pucker and pulsate at your touch. It widened slowly, and you daringly inserted your pinky inside, feeling the tip of a slick organ begin to push itself out.

Fuzz gasped at this new sensation and moaned a little. Slowly, it came out and you were able to see it at last. It was pink like the inside of the opening and darkened to the familiar velvet brown at the tip. You put your hand around it and pumped it a few times before bending down and pulling the tip into your mouth. It was sweet, like honeysuckle. His hips convulsed and he started to whisper, “please, please.”

You felt around for your wallet and pulled out a condom and two single-use packets of lube. You tore open the condom with your teeth and started to work it down his shaft.

“I’ve never…” He said, gulping. “I’ve never done this…”

“Do you want to stop?” You asked him, your hand stilling on his hardened girth.

“No!” He said. “No, no, I want this. I just… I’m sure I won’t be any good at it.”

“That’s okay, Fuzz,” You said, kissing him as another shell popped in the distance, lighting up the sky and trees around you. “I’ll teach you. Trust me.”

“I do,” He whispered.

You took a packet of lube and tore it open, squeezing some of it onto his fingers.

“First is to open me up a bit, so to speak,” You told him, turning and kneeling over. “Massage it into the skin for a few minutes, and them push a finger in.”

You felt him follow your instructions and groan into the ground as he pressed and rolled and circled the sensitive skin, finally pushing one of his thick, long fingers inside you. You gasped at feeling and encouraged him to move it in and out, eventually adding the second finger.

Once you felt like you were ready, you told him to sit back against the tree, and he complied. You took the second packet of lube and squirted it into your hand, lubing him up before pulling yourself to face level and kissing him as you positioned yourself over him. Slowly, you slid down onto him, feeling him slide against the bundle of nerves deep inside you. Both of you gasped at the same time and clung to each other as the fireworks continued to light up your naked bodies in the darkness.

You started to ride him, listening to his trilling and chirping, and all four of his hands found interesting things to do. The pair on the bottom held your hips as you rocked back and forth, up and down, in his lap. His upper right hand caressed your face while the left reached between you and began to stroke you slowly, sweetly, in a way you had been dying to be touched.

You sped up, and his trilling got higher in pitch. You reached up and gently pulled his hat off, careful of his antennae.

“We should both be naked,” You gasped, laughing. He laughed too before moaning your name, kissing you and tightening his grip on your cock slightly. You held him close to you, whispering into his ear that you were going to cum. He said he was close, too.

You came before him, spraying yourself all over his stomach. He grasped your hips harder and thrust faster for a few moments, then he released a high pitched chirrup that repeated over and over, and you could feel him releasing into the condom inside you.

You could barely hear the sounds of the fireworks over the rushing in your ears. He held you tightly with both of his arms, gulping down air. Finally, you got up and pulled off the used condom. You had a small bag and a couple of single-use wipes in your wallet for such… situations. You cleaned him up and wiped yourself off, too. Then, the two of you lay there, nude, on the quilt and watched the grand finale.

Best first date ever.

The next day, you woke up in his apartment pressed into the fluff of his chest. You stretched and groaned sleepily, looking at the collection of ball caps displayed proudly on every inch of his bedroom walls. He roused himself as well.

“Good morning,” He said with a happy smile.

“Good morning yourself,” You replied, giving him a quick kiss.

“Do you work today?” You asked.

“No,” He said, stretching like a cat. “I took today off. I was hoping we’d end up like this, so I… planned for it.”

“Aww,” You said, scratching his unusually bare head. “Wanna spend the day together?”

“Sounds like a great idea,” He said, grinning. “Breakfast?”

“Breakfast sounds good,” You told him. “Is it alright if I run back to my place to grab some fresh clothes?”

Breakfast will be ready when you get back,” He said, bouncing out of bed.

You laughed at him, but really, you felt just as happy. You dressed quickly and headed out, popping up on tiptoe and kissing the back of his neck as you passed him in the kitchen.

Just as you got into your car, you got a text from Shannon: >Did you guys do it?

You rolled your eyes. >None of your business.

As you started your car, you got a reply. >Ha! I won the bet!

At your place, you grabbed a change of clothes and a couple more condoms and packets of lube, and started back for Fuzz’s apartment. While driving, something in the window of a store caught your eye and you decided to stop in. It was a little early for gifts, but… what the hell? This was the perfect thing and you knew he’d love it. How could you not buy it?

Back at his place, he was putting plates on the table.

“Hey, you okay? I was getting worried you weren’t coming back,” He said.

“Nothing of the sort,” You replied, handing him a bag. “I just saw this and thought of you.”

“You got me a present?” He said, both confused and delighted. “Why?”

“Cause I like you. I don’t need another reason,” You told him.

He laughed loudly and opened the bag. From inside, he pulled out a baseball cap that read, “My Boyfriend Thinks I’m Funny.” He smiled softly at it before putting it on his head.

“How does it look?” He asked.

You smiled widely. “It suits you.”

He grabbed your butt, pressed you to his side, and kissed you, wrapping you in his arms like the cuddlebug he was. Then fed you the best breakfast you’d had in a decade.

You guessed you owed Shannon a new set of dice. A nice set.

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[notcatherinemorland]

More Hamlet Thoughts because i leave everything to the 11th hour . production continues to be the 2018 globe w/ Michelle Terry

Hamlet and Ophelia’s uhhhhh fight 

Ham’s personality twists into cruel mockery of her at the line ‘Where’s your father’ and OHO the facial expressions

Ophelia kept trying to hold onto Hamlet’s hand and body and curl her fingers around hamlet’s hand and it was very heartbreaking . Hamlet was a ball of chaotic energy who scrabbled her hands off himself. rlly interesting to watch

this turned around with hamlet scrubbing over her face as he presents her to the audience’s 4th wall for the make up lines. and shoves her down to the floor at the end

the physical manipulation hamlet takes out on ophelia is a super interesting segue to the players scene

2 b / x 2 b

ham sat in the middle of the front of the stage and held the hand of an audience member who he talked he speech to. very intimate and closed and really interesting interpretation

im a nerd so i really like the juxtaposition of such a grand and philosophical speech being told on such an intimate and small scale

Hamlet’s still got his smudged clown makeup on

hamlet and horatio come across Very gay in the ‘something too much of this’ line. i vibe 

hamlet decimated his friendship with R&G and i LOVED how Horatio held him and then forced him away to give him just a touch more character. this Ht loved R&G as well and i appreciate the bit of character we all try to give horatio

Horatio’s Emotions over R&G’s impending death is a++ give this man some emotional range

OH the ‘if your mind dislike anything, obey it’ can we PLEASE listen to horatio the lone voice of reason within elsinor’s halls

that’s not me being gay, that’s a legit analysis of Hamlet in that everyone in Elsinor has a twisted sense of reality and morality and Horatio as an outsider is immune and must watch in horror

the argument is flawed with R&G but hey it’s not my theory.

THE TRUMPETS . there’s live trumpets 

the music they played to signal the half time of the play was wonderfully dissonant and i VIBE WITH THAT that is the ENERGY of Elsinor right there

honestly im annoying and i don’t particularly care for the play scene as an audience member. like academically the play within a play is rife with analysis but like. to just sit and watch it feels like such a halt in the energy

plus i really dislike it when they use gross physical comedy in the dumb-show because again. im annoying

anyway they only do the dumb-show (more tollerable than a lot) and they use drum beats and purcussion in place of lines, and have hamlet explain what’s going on with his lines. it’s certainly different and its a lot quicker than the text is

This Claudius is Prime Smarmy Politicians and is very indignant as he tries to pray and i REALLY LIKE HIM

The scene transitions are .. non existent in this play and i LIKE IT 

the lines follow on immediately between scenes as the other characters are leaving the stage 

i love how it supports the theme of acting this play has and how it breaks down the barrier for the audience of personal vs private 

thats not quite what i want to say uhhhhh. in other productions some of the scenes are really discreet from each other- like how pearl necklaces have stoppers between the pearls- and that’s especially evident in films, but here it’s the opposite and the scenes bleed into each other to create a really fast paced and chaotic energy and i REALLY LIKE IT

‘personal vs private’ is on god my favourite theme in hamlet and the way it works with the audience creating it here is GREAT

Closet scene... OH BOY

this hamlet is CRUEL oml 

the ghost enters after hamlet spends 3 minutes berating his mother and she’s crying on the floor by the audience and hamlet immediately stops and starts weeping 

‘oh save me’ sounds so small and childlike and it really showcases the love between them

not that kind of love, sigmund fucking freud. get your mind out the gutter

the disdain hamlet has for gertrude absolutely breaks my heart but that’s a me thing because i haven’t been able to see my mother in person for coming up on a month due to quarantine :(

added an extra hug before ham leaves .. v sweet

Claudius comes barreling in and picks up ham’s dropped sword. :eye emoji: doesn’t put it down until Hamlet’s brought in for questioning. but he’s still holding a book (english dictionary presumably?) and this act of holding a sword for 2 scenes WILL be reiterated time and time again in ever hamlet essay i write forever to whatever end i so desire because it’s easy to manipulate to my own purposes. bless this moment

There’s a seagull that keeps interrupting claudius at perhaps the funniest possible moments in his soliloquies and honestly WHERE is it’s Olivier

Ophelia’s madness isn’t as explicit as it is in other versions, but watching her tumble into emotions and lack of restraint is so, so heartbreaking.

this is one of the productions of hamlet that makes a really convincing case for ‘madness’ in elsinor being synonymous to speaking one’s mind and being truthful about one’s heightened emotions and like. i Love that interpretation

lets be real i love 99% of hamlet interpretations

the 1% is freud. fuck that guy

I’m Digging the parallel of Ophelia’s emotional outburts of grief (in madness) to Laertes incensed outburst of grief . ohoho

Laertes gets rosemary and pansies, Claudius gets fennel and columbines, Gertrude gets the rue, Audience member gets the daisy and the thought of violets

unfortunately i once wrote a shite poem about gertrude and weather she know of the poison in the cup at the end and unfortunately that’s all i can think about for the last 40 mins of the play hfdhgjgghjhgj

im annoying so i read along with the play and the duets Claudius and Laertes make of the meter and the word formatting on the page comes across really different on stage, which is super interesting. 

not to be really fucking dramatic but i read in the info packet of this play that the pillars on the stage are actually tree trunks carved and painted to look like marble and considering how many times i had to hear the words ‘appearance vs reality’ in my english class, i think im allowed to use the smirk emoji about how the setting of the globe is Integral to Hamlet as a play

i am itching to write an entire 4000 word tirade about the use of the physical body in hamlet because between the actual acting on stage, polonius, ‘one auspicious and one dropping eye’ and all whole host of references made to physical body parts i am going feral 

PLUS this one incorporates sign language 

i actually hate the word incorporates but needs must  

The Ophelia’s death speech is of course wonderful, but i can’t stop thinking about how John Everett Millais made his model (who’s name escapes me in a terrible irony because i got this information from an exhibition about the female pre-raphalites) sit in a cold bath for hours on end whilst he sketched and it made her very ill because the fire went out and she was sat nude in a bath of cold water for hours.

Gravedigger only has the songs and the hamlet interaction, and he wears a high vis jacket. he’s also played by the ghost’s actor, which whilst understandable in such a small cast, amuses me greatly

Hamlet’s got his hair tied back and in a military style jacket, and marches around with Horatio who’s in a hoodie and a black duffle coat (absolutely a student) and the same tight plait. Ham’s definitely meant to be sane now, he speaks very brusquely and all but marches around the stage

Not To Make An Edelgard Reference But edelgard’s cause in 3H was also cemented by a timeskip and a military outfit and a brusque personality hehehe 

Hamlet gets into the ‘grave’ to chat to Yorick which, again, i will use in every relevant essay i will write and manipulate this scene to whatever end i desire and on god i thank this production for this 

a level me would have gone feral

current me is also going feral

Grave Scene: a terrible one for your family to walk in and ask what the fuck you’re watching

Polonius’ actor plays the priest. yes, capsule wardrobe of a cast, i know but i’m an english student it’s my duty to wring every irrational inch of analysis out of this thing

i won’t trail on about unsubstaniated interpretations of Polonius’ parenting skills and fate in Hamlet but on god i will find an essay about it

i always enjoy it when someone leaps in the grave .. the melodrama... the meaning... the liminal spaces...

the DRAMA of seperating feral laertes and the really calm and imposing hamlet is excellent and a bit hilarious and the camera is going nuts

i’m very aware that everyone is now traipsing about over the grave in the middle of the stage and THAT’S a fun dynamic you don’t get from film or text

ok I’ve just noticed the video has the ‘top chat replay’ going and the very first line i saw is ‘what if hamlet had tiktok’ and i am CRYING 

Ophelia’s actor also plays Osric and is a) absolutely hilarious and b) again, capsule wardrobe of a cast will not stop me from analysing everything and anything this play may or may not offer me. 

im not saying hamlet is a play about inheritance and the burden of it, but also... isn’t it :eye emoji:

if bloody fire emblem fates can do it so can i, step off

Fencing scene: oh thank god it’s nearly over

The hearts on their fencing get ups parallel Hamlet’s clown outfit with a heart on the sleeve Very Nicely

Gertrude isn’t wearing her headpiece anymore .. ohoho dispelling the trappings and suits of dishonesty, if you will

The duel is a) bloody terrifying because sword fighting and b) judged by Osric (Ophelia) and the poetry of having ham & lae’s duel waged over and judged by Ophelia is absolutely excellent

Claudius’s aside (or to laertes? camera didn’t follow) had no right to be as humorous as it was jdfsghfkd

Gertrude figured out it was poison in this one. Nice

I like the call and response effect of ‘Treachery! Seek it out! / It is here Hamlet’ they made with Hamlet running around they stage to find little propped up Laertes

The dramatic eye contact of Hamlet and Claudius as he forces him to drink the poison.... OH HECK YES 

the way they sink to the floor in a pair, with hamlet crawling over his body to make sure he dies... oh LORD 

the swing hamlet does with his arm to the audience to cast them as ‘the unsatisfied’ was EXCELLENT and i would like that in every production of hamlet please 

the tussle of horatio and hamlet over the cup..... iconic.... and i enjoy the parallel of that to hamlet with claudius as they’re stood in the same corner 

The harsh projection of Hamlet’s voice and the blunt manner of his words about Fortinbras’ inheritance of denmark against the soft way Horatio rocks Hamlet back and forth ... i want to CRY

Horatio got to have emotional range in this production .. wonderful

i always enjoy the way the play tails off with politics in a room of dead bodies.. the layers the absolute onions

how none of the drama within the castle has any meaning to anyone outside of it is Excellent 

and then the way the prison and enclosure of elsinor is finally broken with military force in parallel to the tumultuous interpersonal relationships within it... i vibe yet more

they actually ended with ‘go bid the soldiers shoot’ which i enjoy a lot!!!! and the music is wonderful

then they all start doing this dance which i think is meant to be about the themes of the play and to be perfectly honest it’s a bit crunchy for me but the music absolutely slaps!!!

final thoughts:

that sure was a hamlet production and i thought it had a lot of heart and did some new things very very well!!!

and i loved the emphasis they put on the costuming!!!! 

overall: a solid hamlet. very nice. i greatly enjoyed it!!!! 

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Christopher Wiacek

Happy Friday! How are you feeling this week? It doesn’t really feel like a Friday to us, since we’re home everyday and the kiddos are out of school, but we’re doing our best to celebrate it anyway with music and biscuits to start the weekend off right. Hope you’re doing the best you can, friend, and enjoy Christopher’s Feature Friday, where shares his perspective on life, loss, and realizing where he truly belongs. Check out what we mean below…

On his love for the Brits: I think my favorite place that I’ve ever traveled to would have to be London, England. I’ve been there twice, once in 2010 and the other in 2016. I’m a massive Harry Potter fan, so a lot of the second trip was based around seeing Cursed Child on the West End (which my friend and I bought tickets to before even buying flights/a place to stay). I’ve always found British things to be weirdly exotic to me, and the history behind much of the culture is what draws me to it. 

On growing up and a sense of longing: I grew up in the suburbs of Syracuse, NY.  Overall, Syracuse is actually relatively conservative, with the exception of the communities that I grew up with. I was a part of the theater community growing up, so most of the people I interacted with from a young age were pretty liberal overall, which translates to my views today. Most of my family and friends have all been super nurturing and supportive, with the exception of a few here and there. 

I went to a pretty large high school (there were over 3,000 kids overall and 900+ seniors in my graduating class!). It’s true what they say though- in this period of my life, high school seems like a million lifetimes in the past. I was a part of the chorus/theater crowd in high school. I had a few good friends, but ultimately never really felt like I was meant to stay in Syracuse for the rest of my life. I had that feeling from a young age, and I’ve always had my eyes on the big city. I fell in love with acting and the arts, and after graduating high school, I went to SUNY Fredonia, which I currently hold a Bachelor's in Fine Art in Acting. Once I graduated, I worked my way up the corporate latter at Wegmans (an amazing supermarket chain in the Northeast), and eventually got burned out by retail. Throughout all of this, I was auditioning, doing shows and trying to live out my best creative life while also paying those adult bills that seem to build up. 

On the importance of community: I think that growing up in Syracuse was very much a melting pot of many different environments for me. I was always extremely curious about everything during my childhood and had an intense imagination. That still is true today, although my imagination/curious nature has been a bit affected by reality. I also grew up doing competitive gymnastics, so I learned discipline at a young age from that. That was four nights a week during the year and on top of regular school. To round it out, I was raised Catholic, though I don’t really identify as a Catholic anymore. I think the importance of community was imbedded in me while growing up in multiple different ways. I always felt like I needed to be a part of something bigger than I was. Growing up with doing gymnastics, theater,  and other activities that kept me active really shaped me on who I am today. 

On one interesting fact: I am ambidextrous and use both my hands equally for daily tasks. My dad is the same way! Sometimes it can get a little annoying because I oftentimes have to stop and think for a split second which hand to use that will have a better result of what I am doing. It’s fun though because my mind works in weird ways where I’m not necessarily bound by one certain way of doing something. 

On what he loves about himself: My persistence. Over the past eight months, I’ve learned to love this part of myself even more than I ever have before. I think I inherit this from my parents, because of my ability to pick myself up off the ground and keep moving forward no matter what has been a driving force for me. I’ve had this drive for practically my whole life, in college getting papers/projects finished, in life, getting DIY projects completed, etc. Overall, the will to keep moving forward no matter what is one thing I really do love about myself. 

“I’ve learned though, that the people who truly love and care about you will stick by your side no matter who you love or who you’re attracted to. At the end of the day, all they care about is your happiness, and that’s how it should be.”

On what brings him joy: This answer has changed so much over the past few years. At first, it was acting/performing (which still brings me a lot of joy when I get to do it), then it was doing DIY projects (I love redoing furniture, building things and HGTV is my JAM).  But as I get older, the one thing that honestly brings me the most joy is my family. I absolutely love my parents and my siblings. We aren’t together as a whole too often, because we all live in different parts of the country currently, but when we are together, it's amazing. 

On coming out: This answer is a bit scary and muddled because I was out to my friends long before I told anyone else. I came out to my family though when I was 26, so not too long ago. I still lived at home at the time and was trying to save up to eventually get my own place. I told my sister first because from what I can even remember about this night, I was at my exes Formal event for his fraternity. I had messaged her and told her over a text,  and she was immediately non-judgmental. To bring it back, I had started seeing my now ex about 4 months earlier and started to feel the pressure to come out because I was getting tired of lying, sneaking and overall just not being truthful to people. I’m sure we all go through this at some point, but I was reaching a breaking point. My story is a bit of a cop-out, to be honest in my opinion. The story goes that I was driving the 45 min to Cornell’s campus to see the guy I had been dating. It was pretty late at night, probably around 11:30 pm, and I got pulled over for speeding. In short, I got a ticket in a small town that no one apart from the people I was going to see knew where I was. I started to get nervous because I was still on my parents' car insurance at the time. They would know eventually that I got a ticket because the bill would increase and they’d be notified etc etc. I decided to use the ticket as my way to do it, and beat them to the punch. I came home the next day and both my parents were in the kitchen. I basically told them that I had gotten a ticket, and they asked why I was in Dryden (the small town) at 11:30 pm on a weeknight. I told them I was seeing someone who went to Cornell, and when they asked who, I told them his name. The initial response was not what I expected…I think the stereotype is that your mom will take it better than your dad, but this is not the case with me. My mom didn’t take it so well, and my dad told me I could date whoever I wanted.  I was a bit surprised, but overall a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. 

On feeling more comfortable over time: My friends had all practically known for a while and were all pretty supportive when I told them. I was also in a relationship at the time too, so I at least had my now ex to turn to and didn’t really care what people thought anymore. My older brother and my younger sister were both actually really cool about it. My parents overall were okay with it in time, but at first, they didn’t really understand. It has taken a while for them to be comfortable with the fact, but I think just talking to them is what helped.  I also came out to one of my good friends in a text message, and his reply was one of the nicest and funniest things. I screen-shotted the message and still have it in my favorited photos on my phone. I don’t think I necessarily faced any harsh backlash, other than just feeling a little uncomfortable talking about all of that stuff with my parents.  On a daily basis, we basically have to come out every time we meet someone new. Luckily for me now, I live in the most liberal/accepting city ever (NYC!), so practically everyone is gay haha. I’m a lot more comfortable with everything now, and it honestly just took some time. 

On learning not to care what others think: I think during that whole process (which is still sort of an ongoing process for me), I’ve learned that other people's opinions just don’t matter at the end of the day. I’ve stopped caring so much about my appearance and how I was acting to “appease the people”, or adhere to the “straight norms” of society. I also have never been single and out until the last 8 months, so it’s been a bit lonely, scary and unnerving at times. I’ve learned though, that the people who truly love and care about you will stick by your side no matter who you love or who you’re attracted to. At the end of the day, all they care about is your happiness, and that’s how it should be. 

On his advice to LGBTQ+ youth: I would tell today’s LGBTQ youth that everything you hear about “it gets better” can be true. Understanding your own identity or feelings can be hard enough without all the fear and anxiety that comes with thinking that you won’t be accepted by the people you care most about. I totally get that, because I lived in that world so so long. It’s one of the reasons why I didn’t come out for so long.  It’s also important to realize that you’re not alone. It may feel that way, but there are amazing resources, organizations, and materials that positively represent the LGBTQ community that you can use to educate the people who care the most about you. If someone truly cares about you and your happiness, they shouldn’t care who you love at the end of the day. Love is love. It’s more important now that ever in our society to be really aware of all of the homophobia, transphobia, and prejudices that are out there, and fight for what you believe in. It may be super scary to come out, but once you do, there’s a magical world that will embrace you. You’ll have a glow-up and the weight of everything will finally start to ease.  

On taking it “one day at a time”: I think that this past summer, the trifecta of obstacles hit me at the same time. I lost my boyfriend, my home and my job, all in a matter of five days. Mind you, this was also in the midst of NYC World Pride. To go onto more detail, I had to find a new place to live because my roommate was not re-signing the lease and nor was I on the last apartment that we shared. It wasn’t a great living situation, and it became official at this time when the lease renewal papers arrived. On top of this, I was dumped by my now ex of almost three years, seemingly out of the blue, or at least it seemed that way to me. It was a massive upheaval in my life, seeing as though I was dumped right before World Pride, and all of our plans sort of blew up. The relationship was very codependent on both sides, so figuring out what I was to do next really threw me for a loop. I had to start my life over from rock bottom and navigate the world with practically an emotional hole blown through me. I was much closer to his family than he was to mine, mainly because of the distance. After trying to cope with this breakup that following weekend and taking a trip home to Syracuse to spend time with family/friends, I came back to NYC on Monday only to work a full day and then get laid off at 4:00 pm. I think at this point, I sort of shut down internally and the old Chris was so beaten down by everything that he was “past a point of no return” and sort of died inside. 

I had lost all of the main pillars of my life, and everything completely had fallen apart in such a short time period. To basically lose the group of people that I considered something like a second family was devastating. Once this happened, I decided to go home to my actual family in Syracuse for a few weeks to take a break from the city and recuperate. In this time, I mainly focused on my body and working out/trying to take care of myself and not fall even deeper into the abyss of it all. While away in Syracuse, I was officially broken up with via text message from the relationship. I had found also out my ex was on Grindr basically a day after dumping me (and from what I’ve found out since he had been on it multiple times during the course of our monogamous relationship too…).  

During this period, I basically started to have a mental breakdown, because I had no idea what to do next. On top of dealing with the normal everyday stresses of living in NYC, I was now having to deal with a really painful breakup, needing to find a place to live AND finding a new job. There were a lot of stressors nagging at me, mainly my source of income. To even find a new place, I had to first find a job that would make me financially stable and form some sort of budget. There were so many pieces of the puzzle that needed to be filled in, that it was honestly mind-boggling.  

It’s been about 8 months now since all of this happened, and it’s been a long and hard road. I had my “Britney” moment and shaved my head because I was sick of dealing with my hair (this actually turned out kind of cool and created a whole new look for myself). I went platinum around Thanksgiving and have kept it this way since. I also had applied to over 75 jobs over the course of the summer and went on countless interviews and phone interviews. I was super aggressive in job hunting and had finally procured a great job at a tech firm in the Financial District towards the end of September. As for the apartment woes, I couch crashed on some close college friends' couches for a few weeks. After that, I found a temporary cheap room in a tiny Brooklyn apartment that had no door, no closet (A challenge, I know, but I made it work!), and roommates I did not know. Money was tight, but I had to do what I had to do to survive in order to stay in the city. I now am living with two great friends in upper Manhattan in a really cute apartment that has a door AND a closet). So, life is looking up! 

For the relationship side of things… It’s been a long road of healing. I must have read every single self-help book in Barnes and Noble, in addition to seeking out the advice of friends and family to talk about it. I even wrote a letter to my ex’s mom. Being that I was pretty close with his family throughout the relationship, I thought it was a respectful thing to do to send a “thank you” letter for all of the things that they did for me while I was dating her son. To be completely honest, I thought I would have heard back with some sort of response or well wishes for the future. Instead, it’s been a cold turkey moment, and I never heard back… nor have I heard from anyone in that whole community that I spent the better part of three years with. I guess it goes to show you that the people who really care about you will reach out, and the ones that don’t care…. won't. Ultimately, I’ve never been out and single at the same time, so it’s been quite the turbulent journey that I’ve had to overcome. I’m still healing, but I’ve pretty much adhered to the “one day at a time” method. 

On his biggest inspiration: My biggest inspiration would have to be my parents. Both of them have persevered over the years in multiple different ways, and have always provided for my siblings and I. They have both faced extreme challenges, but have really set a great example for us growing up. I hope I get to be the type of parents they are to me to my future children. 

On looking ahead: I think in five years, I hope to still have a stable job, a beautiful home and a relationship that fosters into a family of my own. I think I mainly hope to just be happy, regardless of the financial situation I am in. 

On what really matters: Life comes at you fast, and you have to be ready to meet it with perseverance and grace. Otherwise, if you don’t, you can get easily eaten up along the way and lose yourself to the madness of it all.  Stay true to who you are, and trust in the universe that everything always happens for a reason. 

[quixotic--s]

tagged by @oceanstatic <3

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

lesbian!!

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Mountain biking and nature, I’m getting into tracking again and sensory awareness and all the things working for Nature connect taught me

3. Ever done any drugs?

weed a long time ago. wasn’t for me

4. What piercings do you want/have?

none, not for me

6. Describe your dream home.

my own room/sanctuary, a separate creating/office space, a clean kitchen, coastal/earthy colors, an open living space that opens out into a big yard or backs into the woods. 

7. Who are you jealous of?

no body specific maybe people who are better at the things that i’m trying to be good at but I’m trying to keep this in check

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

i’m not binging anything right now

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

no

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

also to hang out with kait and krista.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I miss traveling, adventuring. going on a big hike with my closest friends somewhere out west. like deep in the grand canyon or somewhere around there where you just hike for miles and then you come across a beautiful waterfall and everyone’s just swimming in it and jumping off rocks. ugh. incredible. 

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

ouch!

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

get my master’s degree, buy trips to travel and adventure with my friends and partner, give some to charity and then buy a modest house

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yes <3

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

no

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

no

18. What tattoos do you want?

None

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

no

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

was this the first question? anyway it was mountain biking lol

21. Describe your best friend.

My closest friends are krista and kait. always laughing together. always having a blast. we understand each other. we can be real with each other. it’s hard to find anyone like them or a relationship with anyone else like i have with them. 

22. Do you watch porn?

i used to more

24. What are three places you want to travel?

somewhere in africa, hawaii, & then back to New Zealand honesty

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

being outside, skateboarding or biking with friends, then coming back and just chilling and talking 

26. What’s your favorite season?

Summer

27. What’s your pet peeve?

Various sounds

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

there are certain people i just never stop laughing around and i love these people

34. What’s your coffee order?

plain iced coffee with cream & sugar or iced caramel macchiato if i’m really feelin like splurging

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

only a little, for one. I wouldn’t want anything to happen, but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t something still there deep down. but I think it’s just the idea of him. and the feelings of the past, like nostalgia. I don’t think it’s feelings for HIM. just feelings for that time, if that makes sense. 

37. Have any tattoos?

No

38. Do you drink?

yes but I don’t really get drunk, but I love love love enjoying a glass of wine at the end of a fulfilling day

39. Are you a virgin?

no 

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

my partner lol

41. Where do you see yourself living?

somewhere in North Carolina or Delaware

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

wine, making personality quizzes online, listening to glee LOL

44. Do you read erotica?

I have before.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

ice skating with this guy who i was not into at all and he just kept falling it was so weird. there was also this guy who i could not understand he just did not project his voice at all and i know all he wanted was sex it was so weird and He Capitalized Every Letter In His Text Messages Like This

46. What are your hobbies?

Mountain biking, exploring in nature, viola, painting

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

never thought about this. i don’t want to marry a celebrity!!!! but I have A LOT of celebrity crushes. here goes

-1. naya rivera

-2. kate hudson when she was in Almost Famous

-3. Darren Criss from glee

-4. Callie and Mariana from first The Fosters, now Good Trouble

-5. the girl Claire from The Good Doctor

-6. Honestly any movie I watch with a cute girl in it. sorry. i’m gay. really gay. 

-7. I just watched a soccer movie and my girlfriend said it is a lesbian movie. They’re not lesbians but lesbians love this movie. And I have a crush on both of the main girls. So does she. We’re really fucking gay. 

48. Describe your ideal partner.

my current partner. and at our best, we are goofy. there is no restraint in just being our full, silly, vulnerable selves. i can share anything I feel with her, free of judgement. there is passion, you can feel it from across the room. we have fun. we have separate interests, but we can come together and share them. we can be independent, and we can be together, and we can communicate the need for either. 

49. Who do you text the most?

my girlfriend, and then my mom and dad, and then my friends kait and krista

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

sunny, partly cloudy, hot, right before a storm. 

I tag @awkwardleznerd

[things-we-used-tc-share]

Studio

Warnings: Smoking, Sex mention

Ship: LAMP/CALM

Plot: Set in the 1970s, four artists meet over a series of events, leading too their life being better as a whole. (Aromantic!Logan) (Asexual!Virgil) 

--

Patton lives alone, he’s desperate for a roommate because this little studio is becoming too much for him to pay for by himself. It is rather cluttered though, canvases propped up against every wall, easels lying in stacks across the floor; he loves it though, he loves the clutter and the mess, it makes him feel at home.  

He gains a friend along the way, at his own art exhibition. The man is roughly his own height, with uncut brown hair, pulled back into a bun and soft, mellow dark eyes that have a constant look of wonder. He’s pacing around, gazing at the open landscapes with his teeth biting down on his lip, when the man turns around he meets Patton’s eyes. “Are you the artist?” He nods and steps forward “Why do you never draw people?” Patton smiles, it’s a question he’s heard before. 

“Because people are too flawed,” 

They sit outside and share a cigarette, talking about art, about life, about politics, a policeman walks by and the stranger calls him a “dog,” Patton bursts out laughing and they hightail it down the street to avoid the angry curses. “What’s your name, stranger?” The man smiles, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“Roman, Roman Prince,” He flirts with him for most of the night and Patton blushes and giggles in response. They drink and they smoke and they sing into the night’s sky until Roman crashes at Patton’s house, respectfully on a spare mattress, for the night. 

-

Roman doesn’t move in out of love for Patton, although there’s a future there for that, they’re both financially struggling and it would certainly half what they need to pay to stay there. The studio space looks more cluttered than ever now, with Roman’s half and then Patton’s half, but it does prompt the young artist to clean up for once. 

They get along well, swimmingly well, as two gay men in the midst of an artistic meltdown of society. And yes, they kiss a few times, sweetly and chastely, often when Patton is stressing over a painting. But for now, their love remains platonic, there was still so much they needed to learn about themselves first. 

--

Logan Sanders was one hell of a man. That’s Patton’s first impression of meeting him. He’s tall and skinny, with pale blue eyes and black curling hair that falls around his face like some form of a dark halo. He is a movie director of rather obscure films that he himself could barely follow and a very hard man. He talked in long words and solid facts and half the time, the younger man could barely understand what he’s saying, but whatever it was he liked it. 

But he’s focused, and doesn’t particularly like or want love, he certainly wants something out of Patton and the younger is more than happy to oblige. Matters of the heart, he wasn’t ready to face, matters of the body, well that was a different story. 

He notes afterward, smoking a cigarette on a windowsill overlooking New York City, that Logan kisses with a firm purpose, he doesn’t hesitate or ask questions, he reacts as biology tells him too. Roman kisses like he’s asking a question, he kisses like he wants to know Patton is okay or like he wants to calm him. Patton smiles, inhales again and blows smoke out over the city in a tiny cloud. 

--

Logan and Patton actually remain friends, because they can talk about life and space together, and all the vast unknowns in the world. Logan, as a person, is an interesting infinite, a puzzle to Patton. He’s never met anyone like him in his life. But more importantly, Logan gets on well beyond the bedroom with Patton, and Roman too eventually. Although the two have very similar, sarcastic, personalities and Roman lives (infuriatingly to Logan) with his head in the clouds, they hold decent conversations over filmmaking, art, and food. 

Logan is an excellent cook, somewhere along the line he starts cooking and eating food for them all every other night. 

--

Roman brings him home one night. Not for sex, because Roman isn’t like that. Too see Patton’s art. Virgil Brennan was an American man, with an Irish family, and certainly loved art. In fact, it was hard not to know Virgil in art circles considering he wrote and published three whole books on Art in America, detailing trends and styles and outliers. Patton had almost thought he was a myth, a legend, or dead. But here he was, in his apartment. 

Much like Logan who is currently smoking a cigarette and reading a book, Virgil is quiet, but he talks like he has a purpose. Unlike Logan, Virgil actually smiles every now an then. “I love your work,” He says, sat on the floor, gazing in the dim light across at all the canvases “They’re wonderful,” The artist blushes and quietly thanks to the other, offering him a cigarette. He then swats Logan on the back of the head, finally noticing he was smoking near his canvases. 

“By the window, you know the drill,” Logan cracks a lazy smile and places the book, open, on the top of Patton’s head. It gets launched at his back. Virgil is in stitches, Roman is laughing. The two sounds are like angels singing to Patton, he beams. 

“You guys are the funniest people I’ve ever met,” Virgil sighs “Whenever I meet artists they’re usually really firm, stiff, like they’re expecting me to just rip their work to shreds, I’ve never been that sort of critic though, so I’m unsure why,” The four of them are crowding by the window now, which is a long rectangle, but Roman reaches over Virgil’s head to flicks ash out of the window. Patton thinks it’s just because he wants to be close to him. He can’t blame him, he’s gorgeous. 

Whilst Logan has pale blue eyes, messy ebony curls, and very pointed features, Virgil had heterochromia, with one eye a pale blue and the other a dark brown. His hair, messy and dark brown, fell in every which direction. He was pale, like he was made of porcelain, and work dark eyeliner around his eyes. He was still as tall and slender as Logan though. 

--

The studio space is starting to get crowded with all four of them, but cozy, Virgil started making regular visits. He likes hugs, and since he’s been on his own for so long, affection had been few and far between. Logan was starting to get more comfortable too, and despite his particular distaste for love, he admits he is starting to care greatly about them all, coming from him that was the highest compliment they could receive. 

Roman is the one to break his silence on it. “I literally want to kiss, all of you,” He’s always been really outgoing, and confidence was something he was not short of. Patton kisses him, gently, and he beams. Logan rolls his eyes but does the same. Virgil smiles and plants a kiss on his lips. 

They later found out that Virgil doesn’t want to do any more than that, kiss and cuddle, sex just isn’t his thing. They’re all okay with that, trying to fit all four of them in one bed would have been a challenge anyway. 

--

It’s not exactly a sudden development when Patton asks if they’re together, Logan shrugs “It’s as close as I’ll ever get, but you have to understand that I do care about you, even if physically I am incapable of reciprocating romantic feelings,” Roman nods. 

“Yeah, we know specs,” 

There was no physical way for them all to live together, and societally speaking it’s not something they could announce from the rooftops. But they were content nonetheless, happy together. They spent almost every day around each other, Logan’s work got special recognition, he won a film award, Patton’s work, thanks mostly to Virgil’s publicity, took off and people were buying his art almost every day. Roman, who was mostly interested in art and not all that good at creating it, eventually pursued his dream of opening up a cafe. Roman and Logan, especially, fought a lot, but never enough for it to really bother them, it was hard to stay irritated when Patton would just shove cigarettes in their faces and tell them to kiss and make up. 

It all worked out in the end, somewhere along the line. 

@analogical-mess //  @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten //@theresneverenoughfandoms//@charmingprincey//@aclickonapostwillchangeyourlife//@heck-im-lost //@k9cat//@stilljittery//@romansleftshoulderpad //@sanderssideslibrary //@max-is-tired//@therealmoshar//@punsterterry //@trashypansexual // @miserykillme

Add yourself too my taglist:  Sanders Sides/Thomas Sanders

Ko-Fi

[space-x-cowgirl]

Y’all are gonna hate me for this part 2.

226. Wish you were the opposite sex: No.

227. Caught someone doing something: Yes.

228. Played a game that removes clothing: No.

229. Cried during a movie: Yes.

230. Cried over someone: Yes.

231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: Yes.

232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: Yes.

233. Ran away from home: Yes.

234. Cheated on a test: Yes.

Section Twelve: Would you

235. Bungee jump: No.

236. Sky dive: No.

237. Swim with dolphins: Yes.

238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: No.

239. Try to be the opposite sex: No.

240. Lie to the police: No.

241. Run from the police: Maybe.

242. Lie to your parents: No.

243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: No.

244. Be an exotic dancer:Maybe.

245. NQ- Kill the president: No.

Section Thirteen: Are you

246. Shy: Yes.

247. Loud: Yes.

248. Nice: Yes.

249: Outgoing:.No.

250: Quiet: Sometimes.

251. Mean: I can be.

252. Emotional: Wxtremely.

253. Sensitive: Very.

254. Gay: Half.

255. Strong:.No.

256. Weak: Yes.

257. Caring: Too caring.

258. Dangerous No.

259. Crazy: A little.

260. Spontaneous: No.

261. Funny: I hope.

262. Sweet: Yes.

263. Sharing:. I try.

264. Responsible: No.

265. Trustworthy: Yes.

266. Open-minded: Yes.

267. Creative: Sorta.

268. Cute:.No.

269. Slick: No

270. Smart: Kinda.

271. Dumb: A little.

272. Evil: No.

273. Ghetto: Maybe.

274. Classy: No.

275. Photogenic: No.

276. Dependable: I try to be.

277. Greedy: Sometimes.

278. Ugly: Yeah.

279. Messy: Sometimes.

280. Neat: I try.

281. Perverted: Sometimes.

282. Silly: Very.

283. A B****: Sometimes.

284. A Good Listener: Yes.

285. A Fighter: No.

286. A Party Animal: No.

287. A Game Freak: Yes.

288. A Computer Freak: No

Section Fourteen: Future

289. Dream job: Veterinary tech.

290. Dream house: Not sure.

291. Husband/Wife: Current.

292. Kids:2.

293. Names: Aela and Oliver.

294. Pets: Yes.

295. Car: Jeep Wrangler.

296. Age you would want to get married:Beofre 30.

297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: Not sure.

298. Honeymoon: Ireland.

Section Fifteen: Your friends

299. Best friend: Noah.

300. Known the longest: Elise.

301. Craziest: Not sure.

302. Loudest: Noah

303. Shyest: Me

304. Best hair: Jake

305. Best eyes: Jake

306. Best body: Idk

307. Most Athletic: Idk

308. Hot-Tempered: Craig

309. Most impatient: me

310. Shortest: Crystal

311. Tallest: Jake

312. Skinniest: Jake

313. Best singer: Jake

314. Funniest: Noah

315. Can always make you laugh: Noah or Craig

316. Wish you talked to more: Craig or Jake

317. Wish you saw more: Noah

318. Who drives you insane after a while: None

319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: Noah

320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': Almost

321. Whose always been there when you need them: Noah

322. Who is like your family: Noah.

323. How many friends do you have?: like 4.

324. How many are really close? 1.

Section Sixteen: The last

325. Thing you ate: Nerds.

326. Thing you drank: Baja blast.

327. Thing you wore: Work uniform.

328. Thing you did: Peed.

329. Place you went: Taco Bell.

330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed:Nose.

331. Person you saw: Tristyn.

332. Person you hugged: Tristyn.

333. Person you kissed:Tristyn.

334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp:Alysha kinda.

335. Person you talked to online: Nate.

336. Person you talked to on the phone: My mom.

337. Song you heard: Selfish Machines.

338. Show you saw: Shokugeki Food Wars.

339. Time you fought with your parents: Like 2 weeks ago.

340. Time you fought with a friend: A week ago.

341. Words you said: Go sleepies and brush your teefies

Section Seventeen: Now

343. What are you eating: Mothing.

344. What are you drinking: Nothing.

345. What are you thinking: Sad thoughts.

346. What are you wearing: Pj’s.

347. What are you doing: This.

349. Hair: Down like usual.

350. Mood: Sleepy.

351. Listening to: The fan.

352. Talking to anyone: No.

353. Watching anything: No

Section Eighteen: Yes or No

354. Are you a vegetarian: No

355. Are you a carnivore: Yes.

356. Are you heterosexual: No

357. Do you like penguins: Yes

358. Do you write poetry: Yes

359. Do you see stupid people: Yes

360. You + Me: no

361. Do you like the Osbournes: Yes

362. Can you see flying pigs: no

363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: Yes

364. Are you from Afghanistan: no

365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: no

366. Are you a zombie: Mo

367. Am i annoying you: no

368. Do you bite your nails: Yes

369. Can you cross your eyes: no

370. Do you make your bed in the morning: no

371. Have you touched someone's private part:yes

Section Nineteen: This or That

372. Winter or Summer: summer

373. Spring or Autumn: spring

374. Shakira or Britney: Britney

375. MTV or VH1: mtv

376. Black or White: black

377. Yellow or Pink: pink

378. Football or Basketball: basketball

379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mobile phone

380. Pen or Pencil: pen

381. Cold or Hot: hot

382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercing

383. Inside or Outside: inside

384. Weed or Alcohol: weed

385. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi

386. Tape or Glue: glue

387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: mcdonalds

Section Twenty: Opinions

388. What do you think about classical music: It’s okay.

389. About boy bands: Good.

390. About suicide: Sad.

391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: Annoying.

392. About teen pregnancy: Not horrible

393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: married with kids hopefully

394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Noah

395. About gay men: they’re nice

Section Twenty-One:

396. Do you have a website: no

397. Current weather right now: cold

398. Current time: 234 AM

399. Any shout outs: no

400. Last thoughts: no

[smnthchrstn]

I need to make sure, YOU DO ALL 99 QUESTIONS, 99 being "ask anything" so, question for 99 is... Christine or Samantha?

Quite possibly the scariest ask meme I’ve ever answered lmao 

how tall are you? I’m somewhere around 5′7 - 5′8 

what is your body type? It’s a body, it keeps me alive lol 

what is your favorite part about your body? My hair, usually.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? No

are you more outgoing or more shy? Shy

are you more femme or butch? I wanna say femme but that’s only because I have very long hair atm. 

are you tol or smol? Tol more than smol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt

weird habit? I nervously bruise myself as weird as that sounds. If I’m at work during a stressful call I’ll end up accidentally bruising my legs or arms by squeezing them so hard in a panic

favorite meme? Lately I’ve been saying stuff and putting this gif of Sarah Paulson from Bird Box right after whatever I’ve said. I’ll include it at the end or my formatting will get all messed up.

do you sing in the shower? Occasionally when I’m waiting the three minutes for my deep conditioner to deep condition (?) I’ll sing Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac or Gypsy. 

ever used a bow and arrow? No

are/were you a theatre kid? Nope

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Live? No

do you think musicals are cheesy? No way!

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I haven’t.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I’ve never played it physically, but I’ve played it online a couple times.

last movie you watched? Ghostbusters. I needed some Kate McKinnon :P

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

favorite tv show? American Horror Story or Friends

meaning behind your url First and middle name and then roleplay

reason you joined tumblr Many years ago the lead singer of my favorite band at the time had it.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? I couldn’t pick just one person.

what’s something most people love that you hate? Seafood?

have you ever taken narcotics? No lol

have you had sex? Sex means a lot of things to a lot of different people and as far as what I consider sex to mean to me; no I have not.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? One time the cops followed me home at sixteen because they thought my friend had beer in the car. We were really sims junkies and had several cans of Red Bull and Monster in her backseat. 

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? This is dumb, but last year I lied to my mom about a hickey that my partner at the time gave me. I had too many to hide and that was my fault lol spoiler alert: she didn’t believe my dumb ass.

describe your passion without mentioning it. Pen, paper, gay

describe your best friend. She is beautiful inside and out. I love her to death.

give us one thing about you that no one knows. Well, I mean two people know this but this past weekend I relapsed for the first time in God knows how long and that’s something I have a lot of shame over. Even though I know anyone reading this won’t find it shameful because we all or most of us deal with this kind of thing.

how do you feel right now? I’m emotional from the last question lol

what is your biggest fear? Abandonment 

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Mamma Mia, the ABBA version.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Coming out! Literally saved my life.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? All the time

something you fantasize about. I fantasize about a day that I can love someone and finally believe they aren’t going to walk away or make me feel that I’m not good enough.

last time you cried and why I cried on Saturday because I didn’t want to be alive anymore lmao this is dark you asked for it 🤷‍♀️

what was the last thing that made you laugh? The Meryl Streep meme lol

do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes. Different people at different times.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I really don’t know.

the last time you felt broken? I feel broken every day, haha. Today?

are you starting to realize anything? Starting? I don’t necessarily think so.

are you more dominant or more submissive? I can be either, depending on the other person and the situation. 

i’ll only date you if you love Sarah Paulson.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I’ve liked people older, I’ve liked people younger. I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone my own age, though. I’m open to whatever.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. G r e a t  d e t a i l

do you have any kinks? See the turn on question.

first thing you notice in a person? Eyes, hair and kindness/personality.

how can someone win your heart? Loyalty and common interests.

been rejected by a crush? Of course

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I never text, it’s probably like Kelly lmao. I’ll show her this, but no. I don’t think I’ve ever been romantically involved with a straight girl.

is trust a big issue for you? Yeppp

did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t hang out with anyone tbh

is confidence cute? I think if a girl knows she’s got it, then that’s great. Like own whatever you’re good at / if you’re cute af own that you’re cute af. Everyone’s cute af, girls are unbelievable 

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Hypothetically, if I liked a person and they kissed someone else deep down inside that would probably make something in my chest flinch, but I wouldn’t say anything.

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? I don’t think so, but I laugh pretty easily.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? To be completely honest, when I came out I pretty much memorialized every girl I liked from 11 years old to 2017 within my coming out letter. Anybody I’ve liked from 2017 -  present knows that I liked them. I’m usually the “keep it in until I die” kind of person though. 

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve done this several times and I’m sure I’ll never stop.

do you want to get married It scares me, but yeah.

worst thing you’ve ever done? I accidentally told a client “That’s great, bye!” when she told me her husband couldn’t hear properly to do a survey. (I was very sick and a little high on painkillers)

three things that turn you on. Cover your eyes kiddos. 1) Thigh kisses. 2) Lower stomach kisses. 3) Neck kisses / hickeys. Friiiick

who do you hate? Hate is a very strong word, I greatly dislike someone but that’s neither here nor there.

favorite term of endearment? Probably baby, but I like honey if I’m the one saying it

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Courteney Cox

intimidating girls or kind girls? Kind

what do you look for in a possible partner? Someone who is trustworthy, kind, sensitive and again as always can make a grilled cheese that doesn’t look like a wet sock

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I’ve liked literally all of them, I’m just a giant lesbian

are you good at flirting? Nope lmao

who was the first person you came out to? I think it was @therainbowtink if we’re getting technical here but I’m sure @onenighttofuckupmylife had to be a close second once I really knew for sure.

do you have any friends who are wlw? All of them except two

is your crush wlw? All of my crushes have been, thankfully

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? No man has that power, come on now

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Dear self, you are a dumb ass. Love, Samantha.

do you fall in love easily? Ohohoho

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes. It varies, but I’ve got a couple.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I try, I have no idea if I’d ever make it as an actor. I act at work every day when I pretend to not have severe anxiety lol

are you a forgiving person? Yes

what is your “type?” I have no type, I’m just gay af

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? They’re both such rewarding places to be. Being able to give someone that comfort is one of life’s greatest gifts, but when you’re really really tired or really really sick you want nothing more than to curl up against your person and pass tf out against them. I couldn’t choose. 

tall girls or short girls? Both!

hugs or kisses? Oof. I don’t know, it depends on the situation. Both are fun. I’m kind of an awkward hugger I’d rather snuggle

twirl her around or get twirled? I’m too old both of those make me want to throw up haha. 

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Honestly they both fuck me up, but I like giving tummy kisses better than giving thigh kisses.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck always

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? These are both very rewarding who wouldn’t choose both 

making out or soft kisses? Soft, but sometimes you just need to make out 🤷‍♀️

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Both!

how confident are you in your sexuality? 110%

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Butterflies in the stomach 110%

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? Do you mean every single time I’ve liked someone? I’m reasonably sure every girl I’ve ever liked up until present know that I liked them.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? This question is tricky. I was 10 when I had my first crush on a girl. 17 when it happened again, but didn’t acknowledge that I had one until 20.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? I’ve done a thousand embarrassing thins.

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Foxxay and no because Ryan Murphy is a coward.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? When I came out my grandma told me “we have no reason to discuss your sex life” and that not only aggravated me, but hurt. Alternatively, my aunt told me that I like girls because my dad wasn’t around for a chunk of my life and that hurt me I think more than aggravated me, although it did that too because it’s never been any of her business.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? Have you seen Sarah Paulson? Every single day. Every. day.

what is love to you? Love is when you care about someone and their well-being. We love our pets, we love our family, we love our friends, we love artists and actors and musicians. We love ourselves. Love comes in many forms. 

ask me anything. Call me whatever you want (just not Sam lol)

A straight couple: shows PDA in public

Me:

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you or have you ever owned a cup with your name on it? Nope. What’s the most expensive crafts tool that you own? I don’t have any expensive craft tools. Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? No. How do you like Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis? I’m familiar with the song, but I wouldn’t say it’s a favorite song of mine or anything. Speaking of Jerry Lee Lewis, have you seen the biopic about him? Nope

How about the biopic about Tina Turner? Nope. Do you like the TV-show Frasier? No. The Hallmark Channel plays a few back-to-back episodes of The Golden Girls at night and then afterwards a few episodes of Frasier before I Love Lucy. I always change it when Frasier comes on. What’s something you know by heart? A lot of things, I suppose. Lyrics to many songs for one. How valuable does a coin have to be for you to bother to pick it up? I’d probably stop to pick up a quarter. What would be something you would wait in line to get for free? Coffee. In Finland people wait in line for free buckets. Oh. Has there ever been a leak anywhere in your house? Yes. Have you ever slipped in the shower? No. Have you ever made any decorative crafts? If so, are they displayed? Nope. Is it very humid where you are right now? No. What is the most suggestive thing someone has said to you? Uhhh. I don’t know. Do you have friends who you playfully flirt with? No. Doesn’t the Z in the Bzoink logo look like an L to you, too? No. Did you ever take that 5000 question survey that was circulating Tumblr? I took most of it. I still have yet to finish it. It would get overwhelming and I’d take breaks from it, which usually resulted in me forgetting about it entirely. It’s been awhile since I did one of the parts. Have you ever had to change a zipper in your favourite article of clothing? No. Do you prefer buttons or zippers in general? Zippers. Did you grandma have a box full of pretty buttons? She had that cookie tin, you know the one, with sewing supplies and whatnot. Why do all grandparents have that? What’s the most exotic spice in your spice rack? I wouldn’t say there’s anything “exotic” in there. Do buttons tempt you to press them? No. I’m more afraid to if I don’t know what it’s for. Do you have a favourite television host? Dr. Phil. What’s your opinion on celebrity chefs? I don’t care. Back when it first started, did you watch ANTM? Not when it first started, but I watched a few later seasons. I watched the last 2 latest ones. The one where it came back and Rita Ora replaced Tyra and then the last season that was on where Tyra came back. Did you know, that there was even a Finnish version of ANTM? Nope. Are you accident prone? Not usually. Have you ever broken something really valuable? Yes. What do you see as timeless? A lot of the songs I like that are from the late 60s, 70′s, 80s, 90s, and early 2000′s. What is something that you own, that has sentimental value? A lot of things. Have you ever had your own website? I had a freewebs or whatever that I made before as a fansite. What’s your favourite board game? I love board games in general. How about your favourite card game? Cards Against Humanity, ha. What’s something that you finished recently? My cup of coffee. What’s the smallest town you recall visiting? This little unknown town in my state where my grandparents stayed once while they were visiting (they live out of state, but travel in their RV every summer to visit). I don’t remember why they chose that particular town that year. What’s the longest distance you’ve had to go to work or school? Not far at all. My college was local and less than a 10 minute drive away. Would you learn a new language, if you didn’t share one with your lover? Sure. I guess I’d have to in that case. Do you have friends who are constantly tagging you in challenges on FB? Not challenges, but I have a friend who is always tagging me in some giveaway thing they’re entering on Instagram or Twitter. It’s actually rather annoying. When it comes to chocolate, do you prefer nougat, jelly or caramel filling? I’m not a fan of fillings in my chocolate, really. It depends, though. Are you more concerned about winning than just participating? No. Has somebody you know taken their own life? No. What is a number that has some significance to you? Why is that? 8. I don’t know why, but it’s been my favorite number since I was a kid. Do you prefer onions, leeks or chives? Chives. What’s the most adult thing you have to do every day? I can’t think of any “adult” thing I have to do everyday. The most adult thing I do I’d say is pay bills. What’s the most immature thing you like to do every day? I don’t think I do something everyday that would be considered “immature.” *shrug* Have you seen the movie, Clue? If so, isn’t it fab? Nah. Do your cheeks get flushed easily? Yes. I get warm easily. Do you blush easily in general? Yes. Are there any social cues you miss entirely? I’m usually pretty good with that stuff. When someone doesn’t smile back at you, what’s your first thought? It makes things awkward. Is there a person who melts your heart just by looking at you? My doggo. ha. Have you ever had tom kha kai? Nope. Have you, or anyone you know ever been rude to a server? I never have, but I know people who are. What’s something you’re opinionated and very vocal about? Meh. ^When’s the last time you had to verbally defend your stance? I’m usually one to keep quiet about that stuff. Have you ever played BitLife? Nope. What’s something you regularly order online? I do a lot of shopping online. Usually for clothes or ordering food. When’s the last time you made a penpal? We had one in 3rd grade. Do you often make friends online? I used to. Do people ever try to get something from somebody through you? No. As in, they ask you to ask the person they should be asking in the first place. If that makes sense. It’s happened, but it’s not something that happens often. What do you think when you see a couple holding hands? Sometimes I’ll think, “aww” and other times I don’t give it much thought. Gay couples and old couples make me go, “Awww!” Okay. Is there anything you’re forced to share with someone else? No. What’s something stripy that you own? I don’t think I have anything. How about something polka dotted? I don’t think I have anything like that either. What is something you find absolutely appalling? Lots of things. Do you like elevators? Not particularly, but I don’t have a choice if I’m somewhere with stairs. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say “midnight madness”? Nothing, really. What is a country you would never want to visit? Hmm. When you’re angry, does it ever get physical? No. What do you do, when you’re immensely happy? I’d have to really think about the last time I was “immensely” happy. What made you scream out loud the last time you screamed? I don’t recall. Can you hear your neighbours through the wall? Sometimes. What is something that frustrates you to no end? My current situation. Do you wear shoes indoors? No. Who is your favourite stand-up comedian? I don’t have one. What’s the weirdest video youtube has suggested to you? Who knows. What’s the funniest infomercial you’ve seen? Those ridiculous ones where they over exaggerate and the person like trips over nothing and knock everything over or something. You know the ones. Is there a drink that just goes right through you? Coffee and water. Is there a food item you can’t eat because it doesn’t agree with you? Spicy food. :( I used to eat spicy food all the time, but after I had surgery on my intestine things weren’t the same. Do you playfully compete with someone about something? When playing board games. Would you rather swim or run? Run. I can’t swim. Do you like the smell of tar? No. Have you ever been to a sauna? Nooo, and I’d never want to. Does your doorbell ring unexpectedly often? No. Is your favourite fictional character a human, an animal or something else? Human. Have you ever helped a stranger? If so, what did you do? Yeah like with directions. Although, I don’t know how helpful I really was. I’m actually the worst with directions. Do you share hobbies with any of your friends? What do you do together? What friends. Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? I have a big Swedish flag on my wall.