#the hearts on the wall were intentional 🫶 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

obeymeshallwedateaddict · 1 month

Note

I'm not sure if you write angst or not, but if you do can you write the brothers (separately) and mc get into a big argument like a very heated one and the brothers says something like "im so fucking tired of you blah blah blah the next time i see you better be at your funeral" and then like a few hours later mc either dies or is like almost dead but survives you can pick 🫶🏿🫶🏿 FEEL FREE TO MODIFY(?) MY REQUEST AT ALL !! you don't have to write all of the brothers

Hello. Thank you for your request. Honestly it was a little hard for me to write this but I hope you enjoy it.

Summary: During a heated argument the brothers say that they wished MC would be dead but unfortunately their wish came true.

Contains: Angst, death mentions, blood mentions

GN!MC x each of the brothers

You can find more of my work here: Masterlist

Be careful what you wish for

Lucifer

You were in the eldest's room. You and Lucifer were arguing. Recently you've been feeling suffocated by Lucifer's overprotectiveness so you decided to confront him about it.

-Lucifer, I'm tired of this! You're always all over me, always worrying, calling me, texting me.. I feel like I can't breathe! –You yelled, looking into Lucifer's red eyes which were burning with wrath.

-I'm doing this for your own good, MC! The Devildom isn't a safe place for humans like you! Not all demons here have good intentions. I'm trying to keep you alive! –Lucifer shouted back at you, his hands turning into fists.

-You can keep me alive without suffocating me like you are, you prideful bastard! –You yelled and pushed him back by his chest and that was it. The demon snapped. He took you by the collar, lifting you off of the ground and slamming you against the wall. His eyes could burn a hole through your forehead as he spoke.

-I'm so tired of dealing with your stubbornness, human! The next time I see you, you'd better be on your deathbed, because that's the only excuse I'll accept for this behavior! –Lucifer yelled and dropped you to the ground before leaving the room. You left the room as well.

After a few hours Lucifer is in his room pacing around. He knew he should've been more careful with you. He shouldn't have yelled at you like he did. And that caused for you not to come back home for the next few hours and the eldest was worried. Suddenly he got a call from Diavolo. The demon took a deep breath before answering the phone.

-Hello, Diavolo. What can I do for you? –He questioned in a calm manner.

-Lucifer, Lucifer! Come to the castle. Now! I don't know if MC is going to make it.. they got into an accident. Fast! –As the eldest heard Diavolo's words the colour drained from his cheeks. Hanging up the phone and grabbing his coat the demon rushed to the castle. He was welcomed by Barbatos who led him to the castle's hospital wing. What Lucifer saw next made his heart sink into his stomach. MC was laying unconscious on a hospital bed, surrounded by doctors and Diavolo was holding their hand. Lucifer ran up to the bed, dropping to his knees before the bed and grabbing your hand. You looked horrible. Bandages all over your body, bruises and blood. It made Lucifer's heart break into tiny pieces. That's when suddenly the beeping from the heart rate monitor stuttered, a final, irregular beat, and then... silence. The thin green line on the monitor that had traced the heartbeat in peaks and valleys now flattened into a straight, unwavering line. Lucifer's breath hitched and a tear fell down his cheek.

-MC, NO! Please! I didn't mean anything of what I said! Please, MC! Stay with me, please! –The demon whined as he took your dead body into his trembling arms. The Avatar of Pride wasn't ready to lose another family member. He leaned down and pressed an uneasy kiss to your forehead, forging all of his power into it. And all of a sudden.. beep.. beep.. beep... The heart rate monitor showed signs of life once again. Lucifer's teary eyes widened as he looked at the thin line and then back at you. You opened your eyes, looking over at the eldest with a weary expression. The demon let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, pulling you tight against his body.

-MC, I'm so sorry.. please forgive me. This is all my fault.. Oh, my love, thank you for getting back to me.. thank you..

Mammon

The second-born was mired in debt once again. So you found yourself inside his room, yelling at him about the whole situation.

-Mammon you and your stupid gambling! Can't you see that you are mired in debt once again? And who is going to pay off these debts? Yes, Lucifer. But Lucifer can't always clean your messes! –You spoke, looking over at the demon, who looked extraordinary annoyed.

-I can't help it! Plus Lucifer has never had a problem paying off my debts! –He yelled.

-Oh you bet Lucifer doesn't have a problem. Oh yes he fucking does! –You respond, crossing your arms at your chest.

-Well I don't care. –Mammon speaks and looks away from you.

-How could you not care?! You need to learn to pay off your debts yourself, Mammon-

-Jesus fucking Christ, human! I'm sick of your nagging! Maybe if you were gone, I could finally live my life without you breathing down my neck! –The demon cut you off and upon hearing his words you rolled your eyes and left the room.

Hours later Mammon was sitting on his bed, thinking about the argument when he gets an unexpected phone call. It was Lucifer. The Avatar of Greed was ready to hang up but then remembered what happened the last time he did so he picked up the phone.

-Yeah? Lucifer, what's up?

-Mammon, come to the living room. One of your goddamn debt collectors found MC and beat them to death. You have some explaining to do you, idiot! –The eldest hung up before Mammon could even speak. The second-oldest's heart sinks as he runs to the living room where he sees all of the brothers gathered around Lucifer who was holding MC in his arms. They looked completely beat. There were bruises and blood all over their body. Mammon's eyes widened and he ran up to you, putting his palms to the sides of your head, tilting it towards himself.

-MC! What happened?? MC! Please! Don't die! Please! MC stay with me! I didn't mean a word I said, ya hear me? –The Avatar of Greed yelled and you managed to nod slowly. You didn't die (which Mammon was thankful for) but your recovery took a while.

Leviathan

You and the third-born were playing games together in his room. But as time went on things took a more serious turn. The demon began complaining about his life, saying how useless he was and how no one cared about him.

-Levi, it's not like that. You aren't worthless.. –You tried to tell him but the demon was blinded by his self depriving thoughts.

-No! I'm a useless otaku that nobody cares for! –Leviathan shouted and gripped his hair. You were tired of how he was talking about himself, you nearly snapped.

-Leviathan, stop talking like that about yourself. Nothing of that is right. Nothing! –You yelled and the Avatar of Envy moved his gaze towards you.

-You don't understand any of this! Why don't you just disappear already? The only time I'd want to see you again is when you're lying cold and dead, at least then I wouldn't have to deal with your bullshit of an opinion! –Your eyes widened at his words and you took a deep breath before leaving the room.

Hours later Leviathan is sitting in his chairs staring at the countless messages he sent you. But the thing that was worrying him the most was that you hadn't answered any of them. He bit his lip and dragged his hands over his face. Suddenly he got a call. It was from Satan. Levi grabbed his phone and picked up the phone before bringing it to his ear.

-Y-yeah, Satan? –Leviatan questioned before hearing a sob from the other side of the phone. The demon's eyes widened.

-S-satan?

-Levi, MC is d-dead.. Solomon found them laying on the street.. they were ran over a car.. Levi, come to the entrance hall... –Leviathan's eyes widened at the news, a sob threatening to find its way out of his lips. The demon ran to the entrance hall as Satan had told him. The sight broke his heart. MC was laying on the floor, blood dripping out of multiple parts of their body. Their eyes were open but they weren't showing any signs of breathing. They were dead. Solomon was talking to the eldest which was barely containing his tears while Satan and Asmodeus were on their knees before the dead body. Leviathan ran up to you, shaking you in an attempt to wake you up but it was pointless. You were already dead. The demon stood there, staring at your motionless body before bringing a hand to close your eyes.

-MC!.. no.. it's.. it's all my fault.. I shouldn't have said all that.. I shouldn't have let you go.. but now it's too late. Goodbye, MC.. I l-love you.. and I always will.

Satan

The fourth-born was caught while trying to prank Lucifer, which ended up as a long lecturing session from the eldest. And now you were in Satan's room trying to calm him down since he was blinded by rage. But you were unsuccessful.

-Satan, calm down! You know Lucifer has always caught you with these pranks! Calm down! –You talk to him but he growls once again.

-Okay but why did he have to lecture me for 2 hours!! Two our of my precious time that I could spend reading! That fucking bastard! He'll pay for this! –The fourth-born yellednand threw one of the books that was laying on his bed over at the wall.

-Satan! Stop that! It's nothing serious! –You reassure him as you try to take his hand but he shoves it away.

-It is fucking serious..! Why does he ALWAYS manage to catch me and end up YELLING at me!?! Why does nobody ever yell at HIM?! Grrr –Satan shouted once again which made you snap.

-Satan! I'm so tired of this!! Why do you always have to get so irritated over the smallest thing!? Can't you control your temper? You've been around for who-knows-how-long and yet you still can't control your temper! –You yell at the demon which looks at you with angry eyes before turning into his demon form.

-Well if you can't put up with me and my wrath you'd be better off dead! And let me tell you. I'd love to see you dead! –He yells back as he stares deep into your eyes. You scoff and leave the room as fast as you can.

Hours later the fourth-born finally managed to calm down and when he did he finally realised what a grave mistake he'd made. The demon tried focusing on the book he was reading but his thoughts were occupied by you. Were you okay? Are you still mad at him? That's when the demon got a text from Mammon.

Mammon: "Satan, this is bad! Come to the living room! MC came home injured!" Upon reading his brother's text his heart sinks in and he rushes to the living room where he sees you, cuddled up into Asmo's arms as Lucifer treats your wounds. There were tears running down your cheeks which broke Satan's heart. Mammon was pacing nervously around the room while Beel was eating a sandwich with a gloomy look on his face. Satan walked up to you and took your hand in his.

-MC, What happened..? –He asks in a gentle mannerz noticing the hesitation in your voice as you answer him.

-I got into a fight.. –You mutter and look away, hissing as Lucifer rubs alcohol onto another one of your wounds.

-I... I'm sorry, MC.. if I had only been there for you, you wouldn't be in this situation right now.. please forgive me.. –The fourth-born mutters, shooting a hopeful look your way.

-Of course I forgive you, Satan.

Asmodeus

The fifth-born has been all over you recently. You could never find yourself alone. Asmo was practically glued to your side. You would sit in your room, studying and Asmodeus would be there, brushing your hair. You would be walking to RAD with Asmo glued to you. You would spend time with the others and the fifth-born would always have his arms around you. You want to shower in peace? Good luck with that. Asmo would either join you immediately or stare at you while you showered. It was getting too much so you decided to confront him.

-Asmo, you can't always be glued to me! I understand that we are in a relationship and all but your constant attention is driving me nuts! –You yell as you look at the fifth-born's nonchalant expression while he paints his nails

-I just can't keep my hands off of you, hon. You know that. –He answered without even looking at you.

-It's getting too much, Asmodeus! I want some time for myself! –You yelled and threw a pillow at him, which caused him to mess up his nail polish. The demon snapped and looked over at you with an angry expression.

-MC, that's enough! I messed up my nail polish because of you! Maybe if you were dead I wouldn't have to always listen to your complaints about the attention I give you! –He yells as he grips the bottle of nail polish remover and a little cloth to clean up the messed up nail. You left the room upon hearing his words.

A few hours later the fifth-born is sitting in the bath, thinking about the things he said to you and that he should probably give you more time alone when suddenly his phone buzzes. He takes it and picks up the phone.

-Yeah, Lucifer, dear?

-Asmodeus.. –The eldest takes a deep breath– MC was found dead.. Apparently they were buying some cosmetics probably a gift for you, considering there is a letter, addressed to you along with it. They were brutally murdered.. –Lucifer's voice hitches before hanging up the phone, to prevent the fifth-born from hearing his sob. Asmodeus immediately gets out of the bath, putting on the closest clothes he saw and ran to the entrance hall where he saw your dead body, covered in blood, laying next to a bag of cosmetics. Lucifer was on his knees before you, looking at you with a devastated look. The fifth-born's heart sank as he ran up to you.

-MC! Sweetheart wake up! Please wake up! He kneeled down before you, taking your hand in his.

-MC, please.. I didn't mean what I said! You know that, MC! Please! –He begged and sobbed, gripping your hand tighter but it was too late. You were gone forever. As for the letter.. Asmo took it after a few minutes of grief. In it you were saying how sorry you were and that you enjoyed his attention and affection no matter what. Asmodeus sobbed while reading each word. Upon finishing reading the letter he brought it to his chest, hugging the thin paper. It was the only thing he had left, related to you.

Beelzebub

The sixth-born has been neglecting you lately. He was only thinking about food, always eating and looking for food. When you'd ask him to spend more time with you he'd come up with an excuse that he was hungry and would immediately leave you alone to go find himself more food. So you finally decided to confront him. You walked into the kitchen, finding him looking inside the fridge while eating a hell tomato.

-Beel, we need to talk. –You speak up and the demon looks over at you with a questioning gaze.

-Yeah, MC? What's up? –He says as he takes a bite out of the tomato.

-Beel, I'm tired of this. I need more attention! You always neglect me! And instead of spending time with me you eat! It's always food and never me! –You yell and cross your arms at your chest, while looking at the demon who seems conflicted.

-But, MC you know that I'm constantly hungry.. that's why I always think about food but I'm not neglecting you. –He speaks and takes another bite out of the tomato.

-See this?!? Even when we try to have a regular conversation you are always eating! –You shout and shake your head before looking back at Beelzebub. The demon was fed up. He couldn't understand why you were acting like this. After all you knew he was like this.

-MC, you know what? Maybe if you were gone I wouldn't have to argue with you right now and instead I could just go back to eating.. –He speaks in a harsher tone and looks back at the fridge. You leave the room angrily upon hearing the demon's words.

A few hours later Beel was in his room, working out and rethinking the things he said to you. He used some harsh words that he didn't even think he was capable of saying. Suddenly you walk into the room. You wanted to buy the sixth-born some food from Hell's kitchen as an apology for your sudden outburst when two demons caught you and beat you up. When Beel saw you his eyes widened and he rushed to you, wrapping his arms around your body as you hissed upon his gesture.

-MC, what happened?! You look hurt... Are you okay? –He asks in a gentle voice as he brushes a strand of hair from your face.

-I wanted to buy you some food.. when.. when.. two demons beat me up and took all of it.. I'm sorry, Beel.. –You whined and cried softly into his arms.

-No, MC.. don't be sorry.. it's my fault.. You were right. I should spend more time with you.

Belphegor

Lately the seventh-born has been neglecting his duties and instead of doing his student council work he'd always sleep. One day you decided to talk to him about it so you walked inside the attic where you thought he might be and smiled upon seeing him sleeping on the bed.

-Belphie, wake up.. I have to talk to you about something.. –You said as you walked up to Belphegor's sleeping form and caressed his cheek.

-Mhmm.. hm..? MC? What's up? –The demon murmurs with a groggy voice as he rises from his slumber.

-We need to talk.. –You say and sit across him on the bed.

-Yeah, MC? What's wrong? –He asks before yawning.

-You have been neglecting your duties.. you're always sleeping instead of doing your work.. –You say and the demon's expression turns serious.

-Yes because I need more sleep. You sound like Lucifer, MC. Stop that. It's irritating. –He speaks and leans on the headboard of the bed.

-Oh so now it's irritating? Do you think you should be the one being irritated? Or me? Because Lucifer has been making ME do your job. –You speak and look over at the demon who seems close to drifting off again.

-Well then stop doing it. Lucifer can do it himself. –He says and yawns once again.

-I can't say no to him! You know how he is! Plus he is overworked. I don't want to make him work more. –You yell at the demon and he looks at you with an irritated look before speaking.

-MC, leave me alone! I'm so tired of your constant nagging. Maybe the next time I see you, you should be in a coffin, so I can finally get some peace!! –Your eyes widen at his words and you leave the room, before you say something harsher to the demon.

A few hours later Belphegor was awakened from his phone ringing. He groaned before picking up.

-Yeah? –The demon spoke as he rubbed his eyes.

-Belphie I have some horrible news... MC.. they.. they passed away.. someone pushed them off a cliff... Lucifer doesn't let us see the body.. so we can only see them during the funeral.. –The voice of the fourth-born echoed in Belphie's ears as his heart sank. He proceeded to cry and blame himself for what happened. After two days all of the demon brothers are in black, surrounding MC's coffin as they bury it into the ground.

-I never meant what I said, MC.. it's all my fault... I hope you can forgive me.. and.. I love you.. –Belphegor sobs as he places a rose over your coffin.

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nariism · 11 months

Text

adamantine dreams — h. aki

one bed + "wait, don't pull away... not yet."

synopsis. there was a time before you when aki found it hard to sleep. call it sleep debt or whatever, but he's going to squeeze every ounce of rest he can get from his body now.

wc. ~1.2k

— for @naosaki 🫶 i love you | event masterlist ✉️

He used to have nightmares.

They started when he was young and naive, back when he felt like the world could fit into the palm of his hand and the grief he sheltered could flatten armies of enemies.

Sleep did not come easily to Hayakawa Aki.

He was a dead man walking. A corpse with tar black lungs and nothing left to lose. As much as he willingly sacrificed, and as much as he tried to put on a brave face, death petrified him. He spent most nights tossing and turning, eluded by rest leaving him in worsening condition by the day.

There was nothing in the world he wanted to do more than to close his eyes and have the world be still. To sleep without jolting awake at even the tiniest creaks of the floorboards. To be able to be at peace without the sound of a gunshot seared into his memory.

Aki had given up on such a dream many, many years ago.

Then you came along, declared that you were bunking with him while he blankly stared at his single bed in his single room in his apartment that was eerily quiet considering his horribly rowdy roommates, then promptly crawled under the blanket and fell asleep.

He had three choices that day. One, kick you out and risk being reprimanded by Makima herself, which, honestly, sounded the most appealing at the time. Two, sleep on the hardwood floor and develop back pains that would make him devil food by the end of the day. Or three, his least favourite but most logically sound option: sleep in the bed, pressed up against the wall and putting as much distance between your bodies as possible.

And, well. The rest is history.

He discovered a different type of devil wandering the earth. It had warm skin and a cute smile and fit into his arms as if it were shaped from the same clay of which he emerged.

It had no ill intent and sought not the smell of human fear, but the scent of cigarettes and black coffee.

You were a certain kind of evil he couldn't fight, no matter how much he wanted to try. His time was running thin—sand trickling through an hourglass with no signs of stopping.

Aki was hurtling toward his death at a record pace.

He thought he had made peace with that—with the fact that he would never be able to sleep like a little boy again, safe and sound. He was aware that his life was a race against the contracts he had forged years ago, back when he thought devil hunting was the only salvation in the sick world he lived in.

If he could take them all back, he would.

There was nothing he could do now but close his eyes and pretend the days weren't whirring by. He had heard as a child that time flies with the one you love, and he scoffed at such a notion once upon a time.

He would give it all up. Heart, soul, his own flesh if he could stop time just to spend this moment with you for an eternity.

Your eyes flutter open at the sound of your alarm. Aki has long since awoken, groggy but well-rested.

He was always the first one awake. While his mind has been blissfully quieter recently, his body had an awful tendency to jerk into consciousness anyways. He watches your rousing expression carefully, attempting to freeze time itself in the form of a memory.

Warm sunlight pools against your body, swimming in his navy blue sheets. Skin to skin, smile to smile, you kiss him slow and sure—a gesture he has grown familiar with over the past year since you showed up.

"Morning," you yawn, arm draping over his body and a hand slowly trailing from his chest to his neck then finally settling on his cheek.

"You have morning breath." He tells you bluntly, flustered as always.

You snort softly, feigning offense rather poorly. "As if your breath smells like roses right now?"

"Better than yours," he refutes. His fingers deftly squeeze yours until you release his face. You huff dramatically, snatching the blankets with you as you forcefully roll over in bed.

"Fine then. Guess I'll get on with my day without bothering you with my morning breath."

His hand shoots out to capture your wrist as you shuffle out of your side of the bed. Yanking you back, he smothers you under his weight to prevent you from escaping.

"Don't go. Not yet."

"Aki," you laugh while trying to wriggle away to no avail. "I have to go to work."

"Stay home today," he complains, burying his face into your hair so you can't see how absolutely red he's gotten.

"I can't!" You giggle. You start squirming again so he can release you. He does this time, towering over you with some sort of narrowed expression.

"Just stay a little longer," he murmurs, swooping back down to press his lips to your forehead. "Stay."

It's starting to sound more like a demand than a request, so you surrender. Your arms open wide again and he collapses back onto you with a thump.

"You're crushing me," you wheeze from beneath. He shakes his head.

"Deal with it."

"You're seriously going to go back to sleep like this?!"

"Not my fault you make it so easy to fall asleep."

"Didn't know I bored you to death like that," you tease, purposefully dodging the real meaning behind his words because, well, he's equally talented at flustering you.

There was a time before you when Aki found it hard to sleep, tormented by the visions of his entire childhood vanishing in a fraction of a second. It was those nights that were especially unbearable, never relieving him from his painful existence and forcing him to listen to the explosion of guns in his ears over and over again.

Call it sleep debt or whatever, but he's going to squeeze every ounce of rest he can get from his body now.

"You're heavy," you whine one last time for good measure. He doesn't do anything but smile against your skin, savouring every second of your body under his.

Despite your complaining, your hands tangle into his hair almost instantly and you tug him just a bit closer, heart to heart.

Sleep washes over him. You really must have been a devil in disguise, offering up the most despicable evil of all: love.

He knew his time was short. He knew that love would only make it hurt all the more.

But your fingers are combing through his hair and he can feel the gentle rumble of your voice in your chest as you tell him your plans for the day just as his eyes start to feel heavy.

There's a weakness you expose in him, a gap leftover from his lonely childhood yearning for companionship. You fill in all the missing pieces—complete him in a way that revenge and hatred could not.

So he figures, maybe it would be okay to be selfish and just close his eyes right now. Be loved. Sleep and dream of nothing but a future he could never have with you.

#— whispers in the wind: 1k event ✉️#chainsaw man #chainsaw man fic #csm #csm x reader #hayakawa aki x reader #hayakawa aki x y/n #hayakawa aki x you #hayakawa aki #aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa x y/n #aki hayakawa x you #csm fanfic #csm fluff

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miraclewoozi · 1 year

Text

BURNIN' UP. - h.js

you really were just trying to enjoy a cool treat by the pool on a hot summer’s day. honest.

pairing : joshua x fem reader. content : plotless smut. MINORS DNI. (smut tags utc) wc : 3.1k notes : not proofread. intentional lowercase. hoping this gets rid of the insane josh!rot i've had the past few weeks. i'm very sorry. (i'm not that sorry)

nsfw tags : swearing. making out, manhandling, choking, oral sex (m rec), face-fucking, hair pulling, dacryphilia, big cock!josh. he has a bit of a gagging kink. cum swallowing. meanie dom joshua. degradation (use of the word slut), exhibitionism/semi-public sexual acts in that they could have been walked in on at any time (but they weren’t). PLEASE let me know if i've forgotten anything. notes 2.0 : this is for my sensitive gag reflex gang. i see you. i hear you. i am one of you. i would still let joshua hong violate my throat, anyway. 🫶

he’s such a gentleman.

each time you’ve introduced joshua to one of your friends, they’ve all said the same thing. he’s so nice. he’s so sweet. he’s so caring. so dreamy… a real gentleman — you don’t find many people like him, anymore. and each time, you’ve rolled your eyes. each time, you’ve dry-heaved for dramatic effect, pulled a face, waved them off, told them to shut up. because yeah, whatever, you know he’s a nice guy. you know he always pulls your chair out for you and walks you home when it’s getting dark. you know he’s the first to offer his coat, the first to ask if he can get you a drink.

seeing them all get hearts in their eyes over him makes you feel kind of squicky, though. because you’ve never, not a day in your life, looked at him the way your friends all seem to.

at least… not until today.

not until he tugged his hawaiian shirt off his shoulders and dove gracefully into seungkwan’s swimming pool. not until he surfaced, grinning brightly, pushing his hair back off his forehead. not until the swell of his shoulders glistened in the summer sunlight, broad and tanned and decorated with droplets of water from tip to tip. not until he locked eyes with you as he waded through the pool with hansol on his back, engaging in something of a jousting contest against mingyu and chan. (not until they won said joust and joshua threw hansol off him to celebrate their victory, and it looked like he was shrugging off little more than a bag of sugar.)

not until now, as he rests his forearms on the side of the pool and calls your name. as if he needs to do anything to get your attention from where you’re laid out on the sun lounger. as if he hasn’t had it for hours.

“are you getting in?” he asks, raking those thick fingers through his dripping hair again, slicking a few stray strands back.

now, submerging yourself in the water sounds unbelievably tempting — it’s such a hot day and your skin is slick with sweat even as you relax in the shade. but there’s a lot of splashing going on in there right now and you could really do without a six foot two man-puppy trying to use you as a human shield, so…

“nah, not right now,” you say, shaking your head.

that brilliant grin is replaced by a playful looking pout. still, he’s all honey-voiced when he asks, “later, then?”

“sure, yeah. maybe later.”

“i’ll hold you to that,” he says, cupping water in his hands and squeezing them so that it shoots straight at you. a squeak escapes your lips at the chill when it hits your bare legs; joshua kicks away from the wall of the pool chuckling to himself and swims back over to where his friends are still playing around without him, leaving you to stare slack-jawed at his toned back as he retreats.

half an hour later, you’ve moved to sit at the edge of the pool and you’re kicking your feet slowly through the water. an intense game of marco polo is well and truly underway when seungkwan appears at one shoulder, offering you a popsicle; you take it gratefully, unwrapping the treat and having a taste, sighing blissfully at the frozen cola flavour that melts onto your tongue.

the host sits down beside you for a little while and you talk comfortably while the fun and games continue. he stays for a while, laughing and joking and catching up with you, before he disappears back into the shade and leaves you to your own devices.

and at some point during all this, joshua takes notice of you. he sees the way your lips close around the ice pop. he sees the way your eyes flutter closed at how sweet and refreshing it tastes. he sees how your cheeks hollow out around it, how your tongue sweeps over the tip, how you hold it so gently between your teeth and giggle at what seungkwan’s saying to you, how you wipe your lips with the back of your hand to clear the stickiness…

so when you glance over to him, after saying goodbye to the host, joshua’s eyes are already on you; his jaw is tense and his eyes are dark as he stares from the opposite side of the pool. chan is slowly edging towards him but he doesn’t seem to care all that much. all it appears he can do is look at you and watch as your throat bobs with each swallow you take.

so, in the spirit of giving him a good show, you suckle a little more of the popsicle into your mouth with your gazes locked firmly together. and a little more, and a little more. just a few moments later with his lips locked into a tight line and a bead of sweat on his forehead, joshua silently lifts himself out of the water, beckoning you with one tweak of his fingers to tell you to follow.

you lift your feet up out of the water and pat your legs dry with the towel you’ve been sat on, heading inside while trying very hard not to think about the fact that the man you’re about to run into is the sole cause of the ache between your thighs.

you toss the stick to your popsicle in the trash on your way through and no sooner have you crossed the threshold into the hallway, one of joshua’s devastatingly large hands finds place on the small of your back. with hardly any pressure at all, the contact stops you in your tracks and you find yourself turning to face him.

“that was quite the… performance,” he says quietly. if you strain, you can still hear the fun being had outside, but the quiet surrounding the two of you in the house makes it so that every syllable that comes from his perfectly shaped lips shoots straight through you.

“i don’t know what you mean.” you shrug, acting as unfazed by his fingertips grazing over your bare skin as you wish you could be.

joshua gives a soft chuckle by way of a response, his other hand lifting up to your cheek, thumb and forefinger toying with a couple of the baby hairs right in front of your ear. “you don’t?” he asks, and you shake your head at him, playing down the slight stutter in your breathing. he isn’t fooled. “i had no idea our little y/n was so brazen.”

“brazen,” you scoff, pressing one hand against his chest. he’s scorching hot (no doubt a symptom of having been in the sun all afternoon), but you double down anyway, curling your fingertips against his skin. “josh, i wasn’t even doing anything.”

“sure.” he pauses, moving to press his thumb to your bottom lip, feeling the slight chill on your skin from your treat before. “if sitting in full view of everyone and eye-fucking me with that popsicle halfway to your throat counts as ‘not doing anything’, i guess you’re totally innocent.”

this choice of phrasing from your supposed most gentlemanly friend reduces all of the thoughts between your ears to mere static. you can probably count on your fingers the number of times you’ve actually heard him curse, but you’d run out of cogitable numbers before adding up the number of occasions he’s told others to mind their language. shit, it’s so alien on him, but… it’s so hot. in his slightly lower register, quiet and hushed and only for you…

you’ll drench through your bikini bottoms any minute if you aren’t careful.

“totally,” you mumble, the word only half-audible beneath the pad of his thumb. with your eyes as wide and sweet as you can make them, you do what is about the only reasonable thing you can think to do (even though it’s not actually very reasonable, at all). you purse your lips slightly before parting them and sucking the tip of his thumb into your mouth. his jaw tightens, throat tensing as you swipe your tongue across his skin, but his own lips lift up into a twisted sort of smile after a moment anyway .

“all talk,” he breathes, sliding his thumb out of your mouth and gripping your jaw a little harshly. “all talk, no action.”

“is that right?”

“feel free to prove me wrong.”

joshua turns you both around so that he has you pressed against the wall behind you. with one forward push of his hips, you can feel his cock hard and prodding at your abdomen. a gasp escapes before you can do anything about it, and the metaphorical envelope bursts open. the line is crossed. there’s no turning back – and god, are you pleased about that.

the first move is completely on you. when you push up onto your toes and press your lips to his, it feels as though your whole body catches alight. you don’t waste time with pretty kisses, either – you go straight in, parting your lips, licking against his own. his tongue meets yours, his hands tighten around your waist – it’s messy, sloppy, feverish; you grow lightheaded and dizzy, but whether it’s because you don’t come up for a proper gulp of air for several minutes, or because the man whose arms you’re currently occupying is kissing the life, death, rebirth and repeat out of you… you’re not sure. regardless, you feel like you’re making out with him on the surface of the fucking sun.

his hand drops from your jaw to your throat and his fingers squeeze in just the right place to trigger another rush of heat between your legs. your pussy tightens around nothing and you get out a quiet whine, lips stilling completely; joshua pulls away from the messy kiss smirking at you, tightening his fist a little more.

“so you can take my tongue down your throat,” he says directly into your ear, his usually delicate voice hardly more than a low rumble. it sends shiver after shiver down your spine. “but is that all, pretty girl?”

you shake your head as much as his hand will allow and the pressure from his fist starts to push down against your collarbones, weighing you towards the floor. you obediently drop down to your knees, straightening your back until you’re eye level with his cock. all the while, your gaze stays upwards at his face, lashes fluttering when he eventually has to relinquish his hold on your throat.

“i’ve always thought you had the most beautiful eyes,” he sighs, cupping your chin before sliding his hand around to the back of your neck. his cock twitches against his swimming shorts as you shuffle on your knees to get a little closer to him. “never thought i’d see them like this, though.”

“never knew you wanted to,” you say, lifting your hands up to his sides. they find the waistband of his trunks and start to tug at them playfully but joshua swats them away.

“behind your back,” he tells you. he fucking tells you, and it flashes through your mind briefly to take the bait and snip back at him. you don’t take instructions. you don’t take commands. but there’s a very real fire in the way he’s staring down at you and lord, it’s so hot that you think it’s actually scalding you.

maybe you can bend your rules, just this once. just for him.

so you clasp your hands behind you and watch as he tugs his cock free from his shorts. when he holds it in his palm, strokes up and down the length a few times right in front of your eyes, you’re stuck trying to figure out if maybe his hands aren’t as big as you thought or if his dick is actually just huge. either way, you can’t stop staring at it; your lips fall apart and he chuckles down at you, swiping his thumb over the tip, smearing the bead of precum collecting there. he just about manages to suppress a shudder.

“open,” he says.

you don’t hesitate.

your lips part and almost straight away, he presses his tip into your mouth. the weight of him on your tongue makes your pussy flutter and you close your watering mouth around his shaft, massaging your tongue over every inch it can reach. one of joshua’s hands comes to rest on the wall above your head to keep him steady; the other returns to the back of your head, fingers pressing into your hair, tugging at the strands already.

the first thrust of his hips takes you entirely by surprise; he slides through your spit-slickened lips all too easily and he hits the back of your mouth much quicker than you’d expected him to. you feel your throat constricting in a gag, muscles squeezing around his tip, and joshua lets out a deep, animalistic grunt at the feeling that shoots all the way into his gut.

“fuck, baby,” he groans, eyes falling closed as he pulls at your hair hard enough to sting. “that felt so good.”

you take a couple of breaths and regrasp your hands behind you, preparing yourself for it to happen again. you know you can take him – you’re sure you can. he just caught you off guard.

but he presses forward for a second time, bumping that super sensitive spot in your mouth, and you gag around him again. and again, and again, and again. your throat takes a beating, but joshua is relentless and he doesn’t stop fucking into your mouth, swearing and moaning with each strangled sound that his cock successfully muffles from you.

“poor little slut,” he groans, teeth gritted in an attempt to keep as quiet as he can manage. he continues to use your mouth like a damn fleshlight and all the while, he keeps talking, curling his fingers into the wall for stabilisation. “can’t handle me, can you? bet you thought you’d be able to take it so easily. fuck, you keep gagging like that and i’ll come right down your throat.”

your eyes are wet and streaming from the corners when you pull off him to catch your breath, chest heaving deeply, forehead slick with sweat.

“so fucking big, josh,” you gasp, swallowing around nothing. your jaw aches already from the exertion but you miss having him in your mouth, even if he’s right. even if maybe it is too much. even if you can’t handle him without choking a little, without your eyes dribbling with tears. you don’t care. you want – no, you need to taste him again, you need to feel the sheer heft of his cock on your tongue.

“look so pretty when you cry over it,” he tells you, bending a little and grabbing your face with one hand, pinching your cheeks so your lips purse. “think you can take a little more?”

you nod even though you really aren’t sure, technically speaking, if you can. but your cheeks sting deliciously from the harsh press of his blunt nails and you’ve managed to suck a little bit of air back into your lungs, so you open your mouth again and joshua lets go of your face, letting you lave your tongue over his cock for a moment first before he rams straight back into your mouth.

you groan and whine and whimper as he continues his assault on your throat, trying to relax the muscles to make the slide a little easier but it never seems to let up. your clit is throbbing, neglected, sore, but pressing your thighs together only makes it worse, and though you’re sort of morbidly curious as to what joshua would do if you were to start touching yourself right now, you also think that he’s far more likely to help you out if you behave.

“gonna let me come in that beautiful mouth?” he asks, straining for every word, and just the thought of him shooting ropes of his climax straight into your throat has you about ready to collapse. you try to nod, but his eyes are clamped so tightly shut that he quite obviously doesn’t see you. as clearly as you can, you manage a quiet ‘mhm’, and the vibrations of your hum makes him swear. loudly.

“good little slut, – shit.” his hips start to stutter and you hollow out your cheeks, sucking at his cock for all you’re worth. “fuck, keep doing that. m’so close–”

the vein that runs down the underside of his length throbs against your tongue and you feel him release as he stills completely, grabbing the back of your head forcefully, holding you in place. all you can do is swallow around his shaft, let your throat massage all the cum out of him, whine and moan and let him empty himself until he can barely stand.

he taps the back of your head once he’s completely spent and you swallow one last time before gently pulling away from him, not standing to your feet yet but lifting one hand to rest it over his own. he squeezes your fingers, laughing drily and shaking his head before he gets a little bit of his strength back and tugs you up to your feet.

“i really didn’t know you had it in you, y/n,” he says, both his hands resting on your shoulders and gently massaging them. “are you okay? didn’t hurt too much?”

your throat is burning and all your muscles in your jaw feel like they’re going to seize up any minute, but you shake your head anyway. some pains are worth the gain.

“m’okay,” you assure him, pressing your back against the wall and sighing out at how cold the tile feels on your skin. “just… fuck.”

“yeah?” he asks, thumbs working magic on your skin.

you nod. “never been this turned on in my life,” you groan. “you’re hot when you’re an asshole.”

“feel free to get used to it,” he grins, slipping one hand down and pressing his fingers into your tit instead, the thin material of your swimsuit offering little barrier from the pleasure he’s already sending through you in shockwaves.

“yeah?”

“yeah. especially if you’re gonna act like that in front of everyone.”

you roll your eyes at him, sucking your front teeth but you can't quite stop the devilish grin that settles onto your face as he slips beneath the fabric of your top. “i don’t know what you mean,” you tease, echoing your own words from before. “i wasn’t even doing anything, josh.”

thank u sm for reading!! likes, reblogs, comments + feedback are all always so greatly appreciated.<3

#joshua hong smut #joshua smut #hong jisoo smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #joshua x reader #joshua hong x reader #hong jisoo x reader #kpop smut #j writes.#*

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loveswrites · 1 year

Note

Do you know when you’re going to post your next Poly Volturi? (Absolutely no rush btw take your time and always focus on you and your health first🫶) I was just wondering cause i miss you 🫶

(i don’t have any intention of sounding rude or anything im just wondering and i definitely dont wanna rush you and i ofc want you to take your time and ofc it’s important to focus on yourself first ALWAYS🫶🫶)

Nightmare Poly Volturi x reader

Time it took me: 5 hours

Word count: 2023

To anon: Hello lovely! I'm sorry for the wait it's been like a month since my last post but I've come to give you a little gift! Hope you like it! Thank you so much for your reassurance, You didn't sound rude at all I understand I was gone a LONG time. I'm surprised I even wrote this today my mind was so foggy I haven't really had a good day so I thought I'd put a smile on someone else's!

Love <3

p.s I also tried to find that spongebob meme in a gif but I couldn't find it for some reason lmk if you get it when you read it!

Turning a sharp corner your hip grazed against the cold cobblestone walls of the castle. Causing you to suck in a strong gasp of air. Rubbing your hand against the throbbing pain you felt something wet. Twisting your face up in confusion you couldn't tell what it was. There was a storm and the castle was as dark as it's ever been. The candles Cauis ordered to be lit every set of the sun for you weren't lit like they normally are. If one candle blew out, rather you were there or not he would have someone's head not long after.

"You smell delicious." You heard from no other than the exact one you were thinking about. Caius.

Still a little confused, your eyes widened. Blood. You were bleeding and Cauis was chasing you.

Resuming your slow steps turned into a fast pace run. Well as fast as you could. Your eyes burned with tears as you could hear Caius' steps quicken. Why was he doing this, you thought. Doesn't he love you?

"Are you frightened little human?" Cauis hissed out with so much venom you could taste it.

"Please stop-" You were cut off with a scream crawling out of your throat as a strong sound of thunder and lightning struck.

"Your fear reeks a phenomenal scent. I can't wait to taste you." He sneered out letting out a chilling chuckle.

You couldn't stop the tear that ran down your cheek with his statement. All you could feel was your heart pounding in your chest, So much you thought it would run into overdrive and stop. With the halls darken you ran with what little memory you could collect right now. Your brain was foggy. Your heart was hurt. And your face was stained with tears of fear. You never thought that you would die like this. The more you ran the more you realized that this was a loop. You had been running around in a circle this whole time and Cauis was still chasing you.

"Help Me! Jane! Alec! Please don't do this Caius! You're scaring me!" You screamed out looking back for the first time since you started running.

He was right there.

Pricing red eyes stared back at you menacingly.

The only sound you could get out of your mouth was a gasp. He grabbed you by your arms in a tight unbreakable grip. So tight you thought your bones would snap. You never did take your vitamins as a kid you thought. Before you could say another word he bared his fangs and snapped down on your neck. You let out a strong scream. It was so loud it echoed and bounced off the walls. You could feel your own blood wetting your skin rolling down your once warm body. As much as you struggled you couldn't move. As much as you screamed you could no longer make sound. All you felt was your life being drained from your body. Mustering all of your strength you screamed the loudest you could with little life you had left.

"Mio caro!? Wake up è solo un sogno!" A voice sounded.

Snapping your eyes open, you saw him. Screaming once against you pushed off of him blinded to your surroundings. You fell down onto a cold marble floor it hurt but you could care less right now. Anything to get away from him.

"Don't touch me! S-stay away from me! J-Jane! Where are you!?" You screamed out tears already rolling down your face. Still crawling away from Caius you kept your eyes on him the best you could with blurred vision.

"What-" Cauis started but was cut off by your words.

"Don't talk to me, leave me alone! Jane! W-where's Jane!? Jane! Jane!!" You cried screaming at the top of your lungs.

Everyone's attention snapped to the door as Jane busted through the door. Her piercing red eyes were filled with anger ready to unleash hell on anyone that dared to hurt what is hers.

"What happened!" She snapped sharp eyes staring down everyone who was in the room. She saw no threat but that didn't mean there wasn't one.

You were in the throne room as you always were half the time. Everyone knew you loved laying upon the throne with Caius. You were often there with him during most trails. It was convenient because most of the time all of your mates were there also. So hearing your screams come from this room of all places put Jane on guard.

"We don't know she was just resting as she always is, then woke up screaming." Marcus stated.

"She's very frightened and the first one so called out for was you. Go to her, Slowly.” Aro said making sure to speak softly.

She listened, making sure to take slow and soft steps towards you. When she was finally in front of you she kneeled down to your level as you had backed yourself into a corner.

“Who scared you?” She asked, trying her best to not sound too demanding but failing miserably.

You reached out and wrapped your arms around her tightly, crying hard.

“Please don’t let him hurt me.” You whispered into her neck. A whisper so low that she had to try to listen.

“Who is trying to hurt you?” She whispered back wrapping her arms around you. Doing her best to console you as physical touch is still a hard thing for her.

“C-caius he bit me he was trying to kill me.” You said still shaking as the scene replayed in your head over and over again.

“Well I guess we know who won't be turning her.” Felix snickered, earning a shove from dem.

“Silence!” Cauis ordered, making Felix shut up immediately. His loud tone made you jump and brung more tears to your eyes. Jane continued to comfort you, whispering calming and promising words in your ear.

“Go on, tell me what else happened.” She beckoned.

“I was trying to run away from him b-because he was chasing me. I didn’t know why until I realized that I was bleeding and he wasn’t chasing me to help me. He was chasing me to bring more h-harm to me. I was going in circles and I couldn’t find a way out! There wasn’t a way out but I kept trying and trying but he still got me and- He drained me of everything inside of me.. I can still feel his bite. It hurts, why does it hurt?” You whimpered out sniffling every few words. You held onto Jane tighter in fear she would let you go.

It was silent for a while. No one in the room knew quite what to say. Or what you needed to hear. But the one thing they all knew was that no matter how much Cauis would threaten or yell at you he would lay down his life for you. And if he ever laid a harmful hand on you the rest of you mates would deal with him no matter the consequences. One little human held so much power.

“It was just a nightmare, you're safe. He would never hurt you. And if he did I’d kill him myself.” Jane said firmly.

Her words brung comfort to you. Jane never lies. Especially to you. She always says that she has no time for lying. To which you always say she technically has all her life or death to lie.

“Jane let me see her.” Cauis said leaving no room for arguing.

“Caius.” Marcus said in a warning tone.

“Do you want to face him? I’ll take you away if not.” Jane whispered in your ear. It took a little while for you to answer but eventually you did sadly. You truly weren't ready to face him but you didn’t want Jane to get in trouble for your newfound fear.

“It’s okay..” You said slowly as if you were trying to convince yourself.

“Are you sure?” She questioned.

“I’m sure.” You said taking a deep breath when Jane parted from you. Though Jane was freezing cold her cold began to feel warm to you. So when she let you go you couldn’t help but feel naked under the eyes of everyone in the room. A shiver ran down your spine when you finally made eye contact with Caius. His red eyes were intimidating but not as threatening as the ones in your nightmares. In fact his eyes looked.. Concerned, confusion and hurt. That one was a kick to the chest. You hated seeing him hurt but you hated seeing you hurt more.

“Come here.” Caius said watching you as you took very slow steps to you. Realizing your fear was truly real as you'd normally run to him full of joy. But now you shake with each step. You were never even this scared when you first met.

Once you were standing in front of him he closed the gap between you two holding onto your hands. Your warm soft ones colliding against his cold hard ones.

“You truly think I’d ever hurt you on purpose if at all? I’m offended by how lowly you think of me amore mio.” He frowned looking down at you.

“It was- it felt very real.” You whispered looking down but that didn’t last long as he put his hand under your chin and tilted your head back up to face you.

“If you're frightened do not be cowardly in fear I will not accept it. Especially when I am aware of how fearless you are. It was a horrible dream, a nightmare. One that will never come true.” He said watching you with close eyes.

“I-” You were cut off with his next words.

“You should know that I would never hurt you on purpose. But eventually for you to be with us forever you will have to be turned. But it won't be painful for you. We will ensure it. Alec will use his power to make sure of it.” Caius stated as if this would make you feel better.

“You’ve been conspiring about my death behind my back?” You questioned furrowing your eyebrows.

“More like preparing. You're not getting any younger.” Felix said from behind you.

“Are you serious?” You questioned.

“We’d rather have you dead and with us rather than dead and gone bellissima.” Dem voiced softly in hopes you wouldn’t get upset with the rest of them.

“I feel like this is some type of gaslighting or manipulation.” You said, shaking your head.

“Nevermind that, do you feel better?” Alec asked, deterring your thoughts from this topic.

“I kinda do. I’d still like a little space from you though.” You said looking up at Caius.

“Only a few days after that you're asking for ungiveable things.” He said letting you go but not before kissing you on your forehead making you freeze momentarily.

“Go get some rest.” He dismissed you.

As you walked away after standing there for a while Jane followed you and right when you grabbed the door Caius words made you stop in your tracks.

“ You shouldn’t be scared of me in that sense. You wouldn’t even be filling, you refuse to take your vitamins Carlisle insists you take.” He yelled out so you could hear.

You couldn’t help the small laugh that came out of your mouth knowing how true that statement was. For the next few days Jane followed you everywhere. Always on your heels. Sleeping with you, feeding next to you, If she knew you were having a bad dream she’d wake you up right away and take you out for a walk. All until you felt comfortable to be alone with Cauis she was right there by your side.

And when you finally felt comfortable enough you saw how bad Cauis was taking it through his paintings. He was afraid you would see him as a monster. He knew he was but he never wanted to be that in your eyes. You spent the next few nights showing him how fearless you were of him. Wink wink.

#twilight #oneshots #reader insert #loveswrites #the volturi #x reader #cauis x reader #alec volturi x reader #volturi x reader #felix volturi x reader #jane volturi x reader #volturi poly #poly twilight #demitri volturi x reader

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mssorceressupreme · 3 months

Note

hiii i felt like ive read every single minho fic in existence & ive been dying from the lack of it so im hoping u can write ts 🙏🏼

fem!reader works for wicked and betrays the gladers w teresa (or not doesn’t matter). & instead of teresa talking to minho in that one scene, its reader. reader tries to explain that its for a good cause by being slightly stern n rude about it but breaks down for the first time and softens up when she realizes that it isn't right. reader then tries to make up with it by being a lil freaky…..,, (can be spice or smut idc)

HAHAHAH girl mans was literally in pain during that scene but ur so real 😩🤌🏼 literally tho I feel like the fandom is slowly dying and it hurts 😭😭 anyway, l hope I satisfied your prompt but I do apologise as I got slightly carried away at the end and added more to the plot 😭🫶🏼

——

Change | Minho x Reader

Summary: after betraying the gladers, you come face to face with one of them again. the one who captured your heart a long time ago, and you discover that feelings don’t go astray.

Warnings: spicy content, mild violence, mentions of blood and gunshots

——

You stood in the sterile lab, the cold, fluorescent lights casting a harsh glare in the white walls. The sound of machines humming filled the room, a constant reminder of the work you were doing here.

You paused from working on your lab report, glancing over at Teresa, who was intently focused on a computer screen, analysing data. “Do you regret it, Teresa?” You asked, “Betraying them?”

Teresa didn’t look up from the screen. “No,” she replied firmly, “We’re in the right, Y/N.”

You stared at her blankly, did she really not care about them?

“Don’t think too much about it, this is our job now. We’re here and not with them. They’re out there and it doesn’t matter anymore.” She continued, with a slightly gentler tone.

“Not all of them…” you mumbled.

Teresa looked up from her computer screen, she knew how much he meant to you back in the glade, about your secret infatuation with him. “The tests on Minho are looking good, he’s delivering promising results Y/N. If we continue testing, we’ll be closer to finding a cure.”

You nodded, but felt heavy with doubt. You had always believed in the cause, the need to find a cure and save humanity.

But seeing Minho captured and brought to the facility, subjected to tests and experiments, had stirred something inside you. Was this truly the way?

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were crossing the line but you chose to ignore that for the sake of finding the cure.

It was still early in the day and you were due for a check in session with Minho in a few minutes. The first session, and the first time seeing him since he was held captive.

You couldn’t bring yourself to visit him previously, well, not until now, since it was mandatory for you to check in with your subject as a scientist.

“Well I’m off, got a meeting.” You began packing up your items.

“Good luck. See you for a coffee later?” Teresa smiled softly, and you nodded, showing a small smile before leaving the room.

——

In no time, you found yourself sitting in the cold, clinical meeting room, waiting for Minho to be brought in.

You fiddled with a pen, your mind racing. When the door finally opened, and Minho was escorted in, your heart clenched at the sight of him. He looked worn, his usual fierce determination dulled by exhaustion and pain.

You sat at opposite ends of the table, the distance between you feeling both emotional and physical.

“Minho,” you began, trying to keep your voice steady.

Minho didn’t respond, his eyes refusing to meet yours.

“You have to understand where Teresa and I are coming from…” You continued, “This is for a good cause. We’re trying to save the world.”

Again, he didn’t move a muscle nor did he respond. But you could feel the tension between the two of you, the atmosphere was uneasy. The guilt of bringing him here, away from the other gladers weighed heavily on your shoulders.

You felt your resolve wavering but you forced yourself to remain stern, “You know how much we need to find a cure. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.”

You sighed and continued. “There’s a girl here, her name is Cheyenne. You can help her Minho, we’re so close to finding a cure. You can help hundreds of infected people, think about it. It just takes a bit of sacrifice…”

Minho’s eyes narrowed, anger flashing in them. “By torturing and experimenting on people? How can you justify that.”

“There is no other way.” You sneered, “We’re doing the best we can.”

“Your best looks a lot like your worst.” He spat, clenching his fists through his handcuffs.

“At least we’re doing something about it! Unlike some people!” You slammed your pen on the table, frustrated with the amount of confusion running through your head.

Your head was thinking differently than your heart. You had certain thoughts, but out came opposing ones.

“You’re no better than WCKD,” He was spiteful, “You’re just like them.”

Your gaze softened, you shook your head slightly.

“The Y/N I know wouldn’t have done this.” He added, scoffing.

The weight of his accusation hit hard. You had always prided yourself on being different, empathetic, wanting to help people. But now, you felt the full force of your actions crashing down in you. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you couldn’t hold them back any longer.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice breaking, “I just wanted to help…I thought I was doing the right thing, but now, I don’t know anymore.” There had to be another way to cure humanity, this was straight up torture.

Minho’s expression softened slightly, seeing you break down for the first time. “If you really want to help, you need to stop this.”

You took a deep breath, the decision forming in your mind. You stood up and walked around the table, closing the distance between you. “I never wanted to hurt you, Minho.” You confessed, “I’ve always…loved you.”

He scanned your face, eyes darting from your eyes to lips, as you leaned in. Your lips brushing against his, before forcefully attaching.

Little did you know, that Minho too, shared your feelings. You had always admired him, his leadership, fearlessness, and the way he cared for other gladers, especially you.

Those moments where he paid extra close attention to you, wasn’t just because he cared for you like everyone else, but because he had feelings for you. You were always his first priority.

“Shuck, I’ve been wanting to do this to you for so long.” Minho mumbled into the kiss, as he pulled you onto his lap despite having his hands cuffed.

“Please forgive me Minho, I can’t bear to see you like this anymore. I want to stop this, stop WCKD and find the others.” You were straddling him, and pulled away from the kiss.

His response was leaning in for another kiss. The kiss was filled with desperation and regret, a silent plea for forgiveness.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging on his hair lightly, while he pulled you closer to him, fully closing the gap between you.

He bit your lip slightly, you left out a soft moan in response. Your lips moved in sync, they became sloppy, desperate and hungry kisses. You craved more, you missed him badly, and this proximity was exactly what the both of you needed.

The fact that his was growing harder beneath you, and how wet you already were, made it evident that the both of you were touch deprived, and all your feelings had burst out in this session.

“Minho…” you moaned, as he began kissing your neck, finding your sweet spot and sucking on it until he left a mark.

“Looks like we’re both tagged now.” He smirked, his eyes still tired and weak, but a tinge of something else was shown, forgiveness.

You now couldn’t imagine how much the betrayal must’ve hurt him especially. But the past is in the past, you wanted to move forward and truly make up for your heinous actions.

You planted a gentle kiss on his forehead, “I’m never going to let you get hurt, ever again.” You looked down at his handcuffs, and grazed your thumb above them, “I don’t have the keys to this on me…they should be in the lab somewhere.”

You got off his lap, “As much as I’d like to continue, we need to get you out of here,” determination hardening your voice, “I’m going to help you escape.”

Minho looked at her, taken aback by your sudden change of heart, “Why would you do that? Never-mind me…what will WCKD do to you if they find out?”

“I don’t care about WCKD anymore. I realise now that I can’t justify what we’ve done,” You replied, “And I’m not letting them hurt you again, I care about you Minho.”

He nodded firmly, “What can I do to help?”

——

You grabbed the handcuff keys from your lab, un-cuffing Minho swiftly. He shook his wrists and cupped your cheeks, giving you a quick peck on the lips, “Thank you.”

As you made your way through the compound, you led the way. Using your clearance to bypass security systems and unlock doors.

It was all havoc. Alarms sounding, people rushing to flee something, gunshots erupting. There had been a sudden attack on WCKD and the Last City, and you mentally thanked yourself for switching to the right side on time.

When you encountered guards, you fought together, defending Minho. Your movements synchronised and steady.

You grabbed a fallen guard’s weapon, tossing another to Minho. You defended each other fiercely, a silent understanding between you. The both of you weren’t just fighting for survival, you were fighting for each other.

As Minho rounded a corner, he bumped into Thomas and Newt, who were searching for him in the compound.

Minho reunited with the two of them, the three of them sharing a relieving hug. “Minho!” Thomas beamed.

You followed soon behind, seeing Minho embraced in a hug.

Thomas saw you and raised his weapon instinctively, and in the chaos, a shot rang out. Pain seared through your leg, and you crumpled to the ground.

“Y/N!” Minho shouted, dropping to his knees beside you. He turned to Thomas, “She’s with us again! She helped me escape.”

Thomas lowered his weapon, guilt washing over his face. “Sorry Y/N,” he stammered, his eyes regretful, “I didn’t know…it’s good, good to have you back with us.” He affirmed.

Minho carefully lifted you into his arms, cradling you into his chest. “We’ve got to get out of here. She’s hurt.”

They moved quickly, Minho carrying you bridal style as you navigated through the compound. You clung to him, breaths shallowed and pained. The warmth of his body was comforting and reassuring against you.

“Hang on,” he whispered, “We’re almost there.”

When the four of you finally burst out the building, the cool night air hit you like a wave. You stumbled into the open, the dark sky stretching above you lot.

“You did it,” you murmured, a weak smile tugging at your lips, you had lost a lot of blood in your leg. “We did it.”

Minho held you tighter, his face close to yours. “You’re safe now,” he said softly, “We’re going to be okay.”

Thomas and Newt followed closely behind, their expressions a mix of concern and determination. They had all made it out, but your injury weighed heavily on them.

“We need to get her to safety,” Thomas said, his voice urgent, “I’ll get Brenda and the others to come to us.”

Minho nodded, his grip on you unwavering. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” He promised.

As you moved away from the compound, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. Despite the pain, despite the uncertainty of your future, you knew you were where you needed to be—by Minho’s side, fighting for a better tomorrow. Together, you would face whatever came next, your hearts united in your quests for freedom and redemption.

64 notes · View notes

sleeping-sirens · 2 years

Text

breathing hard against each other !

warnings : angst in yeonjun, mentions of violence in taehyun, HEAVY angst in beomgyu. very fluffy in soobin and hyuka, some curse words (bullshit, fuck)

a/n : i’ve had this idea ever since i watched to-do ep 62, where they had to go inside those boxes and come out when they think what the member outside wrote on the board was about them. idk it just made my brain imagine some scenarios of them being very close to their partner in some way and breathing hard against them. i’m having a txt brainrot pls don’t judge me 😔 also requests are open !

masterlist

buy me a coffee 🥹🫶🏼

࣪₊♡𓂃 yeonjun : protecting you.

yeonjun was one of the most notorious mafia leaders out there. nobody could ever dare to come near his territory, which included his area, his team and his most prized possession; you. you were his everything and he ought to protect you and not let anyone mess with you. when it comes to his dirty work, he’s always tried to keep you hidden, shadowed away from naughty eyes and bad intentions.

but not always do things work as planned and yeonjun might just drop dead than to see you in danger because of him. when one of his operations failed miserably and your life was put on the line, his entire body caved in on him. when he got the phone call that you were kidnapped and tied to a chair inside an abandoned garage in the other area of the city, the world started turning the opposite way. he was so dizzy his ears started to buzz.

the way he drove to you with the help of his tracker was not human and when he got there and saw you in that state, head hanging low and body fragile to the touch, his knees went weak. he couldn’t hold himself up any longer. but he had to be strong,,,for you.

he quickly undid the ties that were around you, caressing your joints in the process and spluttering millions of apologies. he held you up in his arms and closer to his body, swiftly checking if you’re hurt in any way and delivering multiple kisses on your temple. you clutched tightly on his shirt when he started walking to the exit, too scared for your life. when you suddenly heard a crash, yeonjun had to make a subtle turn, pulling you into the closest wall. he put one hand around your waist and the other on the wall a few inches away from your head.

he was breathing so hard against you, his chest rising and falling at a speed you thought his heart was going to burst out at any moment. you knew he was scared, even more than you. when you placed your shaky hands on his chest, you felt his heart beating so fast inside his ribcage.

“‘m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m soo sorry i put you through this,” he whispered with each breath, placing his plump lips on your forehead as he thinks of a way out.

you looked up at him, his eyes were closed and his eyebrows were furrowed, still breathing as hard as ever. little droplets of sweat had started to run down his forehead. when you gently put your icy fingers on his cheeks, his breath shuddered and his entire body felt cold.

“don’t apologize, we’ll find a way out. soon. i trust you.” you breathed against his chin, body clinging closer into him.

not long after, you heard the other members of his group make an intervention. that’s when yeonjun knew you were safe, knowing that he had the guys backing him up, you guys quickly and safely made it to his car, where he didn’t stop apologizing.

࣪₊♡𓂃 soobin : tickling each other.

every saturday evening is reserved for some time with soobin. whether you guys have to study together, go out for a hot drink at a cozy cafe or have a stroll around the city, you always made sure to spend time together. since you guys get so busy during the entire week, you always look forward to your saturdays together. this time, soobin planned a little night in at his place for you. it was a chilly saturday evening, which signaled just how perfect it was for a cozy date inside the premises of soobin's house, which was basically your home at this point.

you adjusted the big and fluffy scarf around your neck upon entering the convenience store. the variety of snacks and drinks caught your attention from every corner, very bright and colorful and you are right if you think you bought each of every snack your eyes landed on. you and soobin were not picky eaters so about anything and everything sounded right for you to buy. not to forget soobin's favorite snack, ice cream. you bought his favorite flavor and many other kinds for him to stock up in his fridge, and for you to steal later.

once you got everything, you literally bolted to his house, the air felt nice and refreshing but soobin's warm embrace sounded like a better idea. a few minutes later, your wish was granted and soobin was engulfing you in the biggest hug as if he hadn't seen you in months. you kissed each other on the cheeks before getting inside and putting the snacks away in the kitchen. he was astonished at how many you had bought, just how you were surprised to see the big fort he had built for the two of you in the middle of his living room.

"you're literally crazy, choi soobin!" you giggled as you tried to contain your happiness.

"says you who bought the entire convenience store?" he wondered from behind you, poking your sides.

you yelped and jumped two steps backwards, crashing right into his chest with your back. you fell right into his trap, and he started tickling you like crazy. you couldn't stand on your feet and getting away from him was a lost case, as he's got you wrapped around his body. the giggles coming out from your mouth were a fuel to his tickling attack and the more you begged him to stop, the more his smile just got wider and cuter, showing his cute dimples and bunny teeth.

"soobin! you will regret this!" you choked out between giggles and hard breaths, firing a light smack to his stomach with your elbow that made him fold in half and walk backward. this gave you the best opportunity to tackle him down.

he fell into the duvet he had spread out on the floor for the two of you, you positioned yourself on top of him, legs on either side of his body. you trapped his hands above his head, a crazy grin adorning your face. you weren't that strong, he just played along with you.

"you have three seconds to hold yourself accountable for making me laugh too hard my sides hurt," you said, holding your laughter and trying to stay as serious as you could.

"and if i don't?" soobin challenged you with a squint of his eyes, mouth falling into that small smile of his he always does when he's shy.

"then you'll receive my tickles!" you didn't let him react before you started attacking him with tickles and he was so weak from laughing to push you away.

after a good minute of just tickling each other back and fourth, you stopped. head feeling so light and breathing so hard you couldn't move, just now realizing how intimate the position you were in was. soobin smiled up at you, swiftly sliding his hands up your sides and pulling you closer to his face. his fast and deep breath tickling your face. you just kept smiling at each other like you were falling in love for the first time ever.

"i love you, you dork," he breathed out, brushing his nose against yours before kissing it.

࣪₊♡𓂃 beomgyu : kissing each other goodbye.

happily ever after was bullshit. you wanted to curse each and every romantic book you've ever read because it was all just a big lie. just an act. something to fool people with, to lure them into the temptation of always staying together with the love of your life, no breakups whatsoever and then hitting them with the hard reality that it's not supposed to work like that. there is always something that ruins every beautiful moment and that's life.

you hated this. you hated that one day you were happy with the love of your life and the next day you were in the place you used to call home, packing all your things and trying to erase every good memory from your brain.

it's not your fault this, it's not his fault that, you've heard a lot of this you wanted to go invisible. you loved beomgyu and he loved you so much, but in the middle of your journey you found that you were not good for each other. that you needed to grow apart from each other, that you still had to learn a lot of things, being that you needed to learn to love yourselves first before being ready to give love to each other.

the past couple of months with each other were just a spiral of arguments and misunderstandings that sent you into a bad mental and emotional state. instead of loving each other healthily, you began to depend on each other and instead of talking things out and communicating to avoid future problems, you found yourself gravitating back to each other and piling your emotions at the back of your hearts, until you both couldn't take it anymore.

you started firing insults that you didn’t mean at each other, just so you could see who could hurt the other the most. you cried into each other’s arms, hating yourselves but craving to hear the word love from one another. everyone around you saw how miserable you made each other feel, but you always concealed it with excuses like ‘we know we want to be with each other, that’s what matters to us.’ a lie from here and there, and you were good to go. but when night time comes, you were the only ones who knew how bad you hurt each other.

it had to come from someone. one of you had to step back from the relationship and warn the other. wake them up from the illusion, tell them that you were no good to each other. that if you keep going like this, you’ll go nowhere else but to an asylum. and you were the one who decided to put an end to this ongoing living hell. after a lot of debating, hot tears and quiet sobs. beomgyu didn’t agree at first, screaming and slamming his fist into anything his eyes landed on. but you ended up convincing him.

the sound of the door opening and closing stirred you out of your reverie. it was beomgyu. he was standing in the entrance of your shared bedroom, looking at you packing your bags with a heavy heart. you tried not to pay him any attention, although your heart turned into some sort of magnet, a powerful force trying to push you to him. but you bit your lip instead, so hard you tasted the blood on your tongue.

“so…this is it,” beomgyu whispered when you zipped up the last of your bags.

“i guess so,” you shrugged, looking down at your feet. you didn’t have any more time to waste, so you started taking out the bags from the bedroom.

seeing you struggling, beomgyu whispered, “let me at least help you,” it broke his heart seeing you, for the first time ever, not asking for help when you were with him.

you stayed quiet and let him do whatever he wanted. you didn’t have anything more to lose after all. standing by the door, you put your shoes on and your scarf around your neck, taking one last look at the house before stepping out. you didn’t cry, you had plenty of time to do that later.

but beomgyu couldn’t hide his pain. tears were messily sliding down his cheeks, face contorted into the most painful expression you’ve ever seen on him. eyes puffy and forehead filled with creases, he sniffled multiple of time before choking out a “wait!”

you stopped walking to the taxi, heart heavy and light headed. you had your back to him, you didn’t have it in you to turn to him, not now. not when he’s crying. not when you’re breaking apart. you felt him tug at your arm, before gently turning you over to him. he didn’t let go of you. and you didn’t push him away.

“can i kiss you?” he whispered, his warm breath turning into visible puffs of air in the cold weather. “just one last time…” he added as he got closer to you, leaning his forehead against yours with closed eyes. his long eyelashes feathering over his cheeks.

you didn’t fight back. when he went in for a kiss, you mirrored him immediately and your lips met in the middle of the way. it was rushed, hasty but passionate. full of apologies, of what-ifs, of we could’ve been the best couple out there, of we need to learn to love ourselves first, of i will miss you with my whole heart, of i will miss you even more, of i can’t live without you, of oh yes you can and you have to, of i need to go now, of i can’t seem to let go of you.

but you had to pull away from him, lips swollen and breathing so hard against each other. beomgyu bit his lip, tasting the last bits of you, his icy fingertips slowly grazing over your cheeks and then, you slipped away. who knows, maybe at the end of the journey, you’ll go back to each other.

࣪₊♡𓂃 taehyun : calming him down while angry.

you were never a fan of underground fighting. you never understood the concept of it and you never wanted to change that. when you first knew that taehyun was an underground fighter, or a ‘guerilla’ as they called him, there was not a day that passed when your heart didn’t miss a beat.

but you had to support taehyun in his decision, because it was more than just a passion for him at this point, it was a one of his sources of income. he was happy doing it and he never once worried about getting hurt because he was very good at what he was doing.

whenever you worried about him, it was always the same scenario; that he was the best in this field and everyone was scared to go against him. he liked to flex and show off and he didnt miss any chance to rub it in your face. there was no denying that you loved him for his confidence, and that it gave him a very sexy aura, but still. your heart would always go crazy watching him fight.

when you first knew him, you made it your mission to accompany him, even though he always tried to convince you not to.

"there's no way i'll stay home while you're out there," you had said for the first time he had a match during your first month together.

"it's very dangerous for you out there, baby," he had whispered on top of your head, squeazing you tight in his arms. "i can't let anything happen to you, even though i can let yeonjun stay with you but it won't be the same if i'm not the one protecting you."

"but try to see where i'm coming from. my heart would literally stop beating if i stay alone, not knowing what's happening to you out there," you had pulled away from his embrace, looking him softly in the eyes.

his heart had softened as he pulled you into his embrace again. he had sighed, "okay. i'll try to prove to you that i'm the best, since you don't seem to believe me."

and he really did prove it to you, but you always kept accompanying him.

fastforward to today, you were seated at the very back in the audience. yeonjun sitting close to you. taehyun hadn't stopped warning him to keep all his senses awake, and not to let anyone approach you. he couldn't leave your side before kissing you softly on your forehead, still mumbling a 'be aware of your surroundings, and stay close to yeonjun. and if something happens, just scream your lungs out.' you kissed his worries away and sent him to the ring with a cheer of encouragement.

it was not the first time coming with him, but that speech of him had become a habit to you and yeonjun. you knew he was just worried about you and you made sure not to let anything bad happen. all your worry was him not getting a harsh blow to his face.

the fight went all well, just like always. this night again, he had a lot of bets up for his favor and secured a pretty good amount of money. not only that but he gained fame as well, which meant more bets the next time and more gains in the future.

he came up to you all sweaty and scratched up, nothing too serious, just the usual small cuts here and there. you headed to the lockers, where he sat you down in his lounge and went for a quick shower and change. yeonjun joined you for a while before he got a call from his girlfriend and went to meet her. he was not lectured to stay with you in taehyun's lounge room as well, as it was safer inside.

you stayed alone for a little bit before you heard the door opening and closing. you turned over from your sitting position, big and bright smile on your face, expecting to see taehyun, when you were surprised with an unfamiliar face. on a very bulky body.

your facial expression quickly melted into horror, panic rushing to your veins. this was the first time ever someone dared to come near taehyun's lounge and this person clearly had no good intentions. how they got access to this place, you had no idea. you couldn't think of anything; your mind went blank and voice went silent for a second.

"i heard you're taehyun's girlfriend..." when the man started talking, it was like a slap on your face that woke you up from your daze.

you didn't control yourself when you let out a strident scream, just like how taehyun taught you a while ago. you were so scared, you kept screaming with eyes shut and closed fists. the door of taehyun's locker almost tore apart before he came in, shirtless and only in grey sweats, hair still wet, ready to attack. and his first reflex was to jump on the man and fire punches up his face. you watched the scene in horror, too shocked to talk after the scream you let out. it was like you were deep inside a nightmare where you want to talk but feel suffocated.

taehyun kept sending blows to the guys face and ribs, tackling him down and straddling him, not stopping the punches. his face and neck turned red and the expression he had on his face was new to you. it wasn't even the same one he had inside the ring, it was one of pure hatred and anger.

"taehyun," you managed to stutter, voice barely above a whisper.

he didn't hear you, he couldn't hear you on top of his groans and hits and the man's moans of pain. he basically ended him, not stopping his punches even after seeing how wasted he was. but you had to stop him somehow, otherwise he'd kill him.

you trudged to him, circling your hands around his arms. when your skin touched, taehyun shivered and his breath shuddered, it was like you woke him up for a daze that he didn't even realize he was in.

"taehyun, stop. you're gonna kill him if you don't stop." you tried to say closer to his ear. feeling his movements slow down, you took a deep breath of relief. you helped him calm down by gently caressing his arms, shoulders and neck.

you pulled him up and turned him to you. he couldn't look at you, still looking at the unconscious man on the floor, nose flaring at how deep he was breathing. you gently placed your hand on his warm cheeks, "calm down baby, i don't think it matters anymore if you keep hitting him. it looks like he's learned his lesson."

your heart was pounding. you have never seen him this angry. you prayed that he would calm down soon, so you kept gently caressing his cheeks, whispering calming words, until he leaned his forehead on top of yours.

your voice was very soft to his wrecked mind and angered body. he was breathing so hard, chest jumping up and down you were scared his heart would fail him. taehyun wiped his hands on his sweatpants before he engulfed you between his arms in a bone crushing hug.

"fuck, i was so scared." he breathed in your hair, running his hands through your entire body, checking if you were hurt. "i was so so scared. that's like my worst nightmare come true." he breathed.

"i know. it's all over now. nothing happened."

taehyun kissed you so long on your forehead, squeazing your soft cheeks between his rough hands.

"you're never coming to this place. ever again."

this time, you didn't fight back.

࣪₊♡𓂃 huening kai : 7 minutes in heaven.

if you would think that you being with hueningkai, inside a closet, in your house was something that happened by chance, you’d be totally wrong.

it was all a result of a butterfly effect that your friends, who are his friends as well, worked really hard to make it happen. zero chance involved, it was all calculated by them. they were the ones who invited themselves over at your dorms, the ones who proposed to play the silly little game of spin the bottle, and of course, the ones who made you sit across from hueningkai in the circle.

at first, you didn’t think much of it. even though you didn’t agree on playing spin the bottle, they somehow convinced you. and it only meant quality time with your friends, which was one of your top love languages. everything want perfectly according to their plan and they’ve got you just where they wanted.

it was not boring. it was never boring with them, from one side. from another side, your crazily beating heart never made a moment pass without keeping things interesting when it came to hueningkai. you didn’t even have the words to describe the way your heart went fluttering every time you saw him. he didn’t even have to say anything to you and you’d be in shambles, just being close to him.

this crush of yours was nothing new to you. it’s been locked away in your heart ever since the first moment your eyes landed on him. everything about him was sweet and soft. from his beautiful eyes, down to the shape of his noise, the way his smile painted your bluest days pink, and the list went on. you could write poems about how beautiful his voice was, how warm his hugs were and just how perfect of a person he was in your eyes.

but what you didn’t know was that your friends read through you like a clear paper. they noticed how you always smiled at hueningkai first when someone cracked a joke. they noticed how your gaze always lingered on him a second more than when you looked at anyone else, and how your posture perked up whenever he made an appearance.

they noticed everything. in fact, they also noticed how clueless hueningkai was. and how you’d never have the balls to confess. so they decided to put matters into their own hands.

and there you were. with hueningkai kai, inside a closet in your house, totally not by chance.

your heart was pounding inside your chest, which only meant how fast your breathing was. you did try to control it by counting to three inside your head while inhaling from your nose, and then counting back to three while exhaling. but it only made your breathing accelerate even more. your eyes flickered between him and his lips that were adorning the most awkward smile. you didn’t have the intention to lean in for a kiss, it was just that you couldn’t keep eye contact with him for more than a second without feeling like digging yourself a hole and hiding away inside of it.

you and hyuka shared an awkward laugh, not knowing what to do with your hands. it didn’t help that you were standing, your arms felt limp beside your body and your legs felt like jelly. one of you had to break the silence but you were both too shy to do so. you kept thinking to yourself ‘is this really going to be a failure?’ while biting your lip. it was your first time being this close to him, except for when you guys side-hug each other goodbye.

“this is…awkward,” hueningkai chuckled, not knowing the right words to say.

you were so embarrassed, already picturing the awkwardness you’d feel towards him after this little scene if you just didn’t push through your pounding heart and overthinking mind and made a move.

hueningkai was just as shy as you. he liked you. so so much. he liked the way you smelled and the fact that you were so short standing in front of him. he’s always liked you. he liked the way you always put your hair up in a bun and secure it with a pencil that you end up looking for later. he liked the fact that you always preferred to sit in the middle of the row instead of the side in class. he liked the fact that you removed tomatoes from your burgers and how you get annoyed when they mess up your order.

he always noticed these small details about you. and he made sure to always put a pen that he didn’t use on top of the table. he made sure to always leave an empty seat for you in the middle of the row. and he always made sure to order your burgers and sandwiches with no tomatoes.

just looking at your lost and wondering eyes right now, he knew just how down bad he was for you, which made his heart jump at the sudden realization. his breathing increased with the rhythm of his heart. his mind went dizzy, he had to secure himself up somehow. he took an inch of a step closer to you, placing his left hand along with his forearm beside your head, on the wall behind you. your hands instantly linked behind your back, making your chest closer by a hair to him.

your breathings mingled together at the closeness of your bodies and little droplets of sweat started traveling all the way down your backs. your eyes bored into his, talking silently.

“are we really gonna do things backwards?” he breathed, breaking the silence. his voice just above a whisper. “do you want us to kiss?” hueningkai was so forward with you and that was what worked best for him. because without a word, you nodded.

“yes.” whispered, mind cloudy. “i want us to kiss. i want you to kiss me so i don’t go crazy right now. my heart is beating so fast because of you-”

and there he went in. kissing your lips, ever so softly. taking you to another word. it was very shy, very sweet, and very wholesome. just two lovebirds who never knew how to confess, finally kissing their feelings away.

a/n : if you've read till here thank you so much! please do let me know what you think in the comments and reblog if you liked it <;33

622 notes · View notes

thmles · 1 year

Text

| Sunflower.

- You're the sunflower, I think your love would be too much.

[pairing: miles morales x reader]

[warnings: douche bags, slight violence, bullying, rough start to a sweet ending, slightly proofread]

[a/n: hi! i have disappeared for nearly three weeks now and it's bc of life! i somehow managed to meet someone and the past month with them has been really good! life was an emotional rollercoaster and i couldn't really write because i was mostly infatuated and also a wreck? i'm also planning on writing for andrew garfield's spider-man so i may have to rewatch his movies just to refresh my memory. i hope you guys enjoy 🫶🏻]

You had a history for getting involved with textbook douchebags. From Flash Thompson (a braindead, basketball loving, spoiled bully) to Harry Osborn (a rather good friend of yours who ought to remain just a friend in your opinion.) Flash was one of the worst people to be with. He has a humongous yet fragile ego. He made fun of your fellow classmates who were harmless, including Miles Morales. Miles was a transferee from Brooklyn Middle, which made him the perfect target for a bully like Flash.

“Maybe the broke should go back to where they came from, right?” Flashed yelled as he glanced over at you in hopes of getting your approval. You were all in a classroom, waiting for the next period as your previous class ended early due to the teacher having an emergency at home. You were usually seated next to Michelle, your best friend who unfortunately had to stay at home due to intense cramps. Seeing Michelle’s absence from her usual spot beside you, Flash made it his task to bombard you with mindless questions and insults of your peers. A few of your classmates glanced at your direction, waiting to see your reaction.

With an eyebrow raised you replied, “What are you talking about?” Flash smirked and pointed at Miles’ direction, who was sketching in his sketchbook while music blasted in his headphones. You rolled your eyes. “Just leave him alone.” Flash did not like your response, as he stood up and snatched Miles’ sketchbook. “Hey!” Miles yelled as he made a move to grab his sketchbook to which Flash stretched out his arm to prevent Miles from grabbing it. Miles attempted to grab his sketchbook once more, only to be pushed down his desk. You had enough of Flash and his antics. Standing up swiftly, you walked over to the pair. Flash looked at you intently, waiting for your next move.

“Stop being a dick and just give it back, Flash!” Your voice echoed against the walls of the silent room. You could feel your heart racing as Flash stepped towards you with a glare that could certainly instill fear in anyone. What happened next was a blur, as you were only standing in front of Flash, and the next, you were on the floor with a sharp pain in the back of your head. Your eyes clouded as muffled screams were the last thing you remember.

A bright light clouded your vision as you slowly opened your eyes. Sitting up, you winced as the back of your head was aching. “I think it’s best if you lay down.” A familiar voice told you. Looking around the room, everything clicks in your mind.You were in the nurse’s office, possibly due to whatever happened earlier. Miles was sitting on a chair beside you, reading a book with his bag on the floor beside him. “I think so too.” Groaning loudly, you gently laid down on the bed, turning to your side to face Miles.

“What happened?” Miles looked up at you. He couldn’t help but stare at your face. You looked so pretty. With the way you looked at him softly, with the gentle voice you have, he was sure to melt in his chair. “Flash pushed you. I-uh,” He stammered out as he looked around the room. With an eyebrow raised, you asked again, “You what?”

“Pushed him against the whiteboard? And maybe broke that board?” With wide eyes, you sat up quickly as you tried to register it. As the back of your head pulsed with pain due to sitting up quickly, you were forced to lay down on the bed again.

“Uhm. How did you do that?” You asked curiously as Miles felt himself heat up. “I mean, no offense, but Flash is double your size, Miles. How can you just push him?” He felt himself shrink under your curious gaze. “Look, that doesn't matter!” He laughed nervously as you raised another eyebrow at him. “Flash got expelled, and your parents and his parents are in the principal’s office,” Miles told you. Rolling onto your back and huffing out a sigh, you looked up at the ceiling. “I appreciate you standing up for me, Miles,” You softly spoke and paused to turn your head and look into his eyes. “I know he’s been causing you some trouble and I honestly should’ve done better.”

He looked at the floor, unsure of what to say. If he was being honest, Flash did bother him. It bothered Miles that Flash was always beside you, trying to gain your attention, attempting to sit beside you during lunch and classes. It irked him so much that the pent up frustration (plus his spidey-powers) was what caused him to react harshly against Flash. Miles knew you deserve better than that attention-seeking douche. If you gave him a chance, you would probably be swept off your feet.

You and Miles never continued your conversation regarding what you could’ve done better. Your parents had barged into the room thanking Miles profusely before switching their attention to you. As a known neurosurgeon, your dad advised that you stayed home for a week at best to heal your head. It turns out that Miles did in fact break the board of the classroom by pushing Flash against it. According to some rumors, it even escalated, with Miles somehow landing multiple blows. You were pretty sure those were made up since you knew that Miles wasn’t the type to act irrationally. Your classmates had all pitched in to send you a bouquet of lilies and a ‘get well soon’ card. Relatives had also sent their well wishes and close friends sent gifts. Michelle even went out of her way to personally give you her gift, a box of your favorite pizza, some ice cream, and a gossip session.

A particular gift stood out. A lone sunflower with an envelope. It was placed on your desk by your dad along with the other gifts and cards. “‘Get well soon. With love, Miles.’” You read the back of the envelope with a smile. Gently opening the small package, it contained a folded paper. You tugged the folded paper before opening it. With flushed cheeks, you stared at the paper. It was a beautiful drawing of you focused on the board. Your hair was a bit of a mess, with a few strands of hair sticking out. Eyes focused as you bit your lip. At the bottom of the paper, in messy handwriting, it says, ‘My sunflower.'

You had returned to school after the recommended week was up. Assuring your father that you were feeling fine was difficult. He was worried that you might feel lightheaded or even faint. However, he felt assured remembering that Miles was there for you. Your dad even recommended you go out with Miles as he seemed like ‘a good kid with a good heart, plus he knows how to fight.’ If you were being honest, Miles intrigued you. He was artistic and smart. He was polite and was family-oriented. Miles was a good friend and classmate. And you may or may not have had an eye on him for a while.

A few friends of yours greeted you as you entered the school. Questions of ‘how are you’ and ‘how have you been’ were sent your way to which you replied that you were feeling fine, better even. Your eyes searched the hallway for Miles, hoping to talk to him. As soon as you saw his red bag and headphones, you rushed to his side. A tap on his shoulder was all it took for him to remove his headphones, wide eyed with a nervous smile. “Hey! Y-You’re back!” He stammered. You hummed and gave a small smile, looping an arm around his to pull him as the pair of you walked to your first class of the day.

“So, I received your flower and gift. Thank you for that by the way,” You said and grinned at him as he could feel his cheeks heat up. “But I was wondering…” You trailed off.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go out for some ice cream after school?” Miles could feel his heart beat faster by the second as his forehead started to swear. You smirked at his nervous state.

“L-Like a date?” He asked to which you responded with a nod.

“Of course! I-I would love to!”

“Great! I’ll go ahead and meet Michelle before I head to class. See you later, sunflower.” You winked before wandering off to meet Michelle at her locker. Miles stood still in the middle of the hallway as people gave him looks of concern. He was sure he was sweating profusely and his cheeks were flushed. “Sunflower, huh?” Ganke’s teasing voice called out from behind him. He groaned in annoyance.

“Shut up, Ganke.”

“Okay, sunflower.”

#spiderman: across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara x reader #miles morales x reader #into the spider verse #miles morales #miles morales x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you

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fandom-blackhole · 2 years

Note

Ok so what about Joel comforting reader after like nearly getting got by a runner and having a panic attack? Tysm!!🫶🫶🫶

This was such a good prompt to write! The angst, the comforting, the reassurance 😩. I hope you like the way this turned out! <3 (NOT EDITED) NO SPOILERS

WC: 1.1k

Empty clicks. Your world narrows to only empty clicks and the shrill scream of the infected woman running towards you. Panic numbs your arms and legs, freezing as you know you're cornered in that room surrounded by dead infected you'd managed to kill, but your weapon now useless and you yourself not strong enough to fight back without a pipe or bat.

The closer the runner gets, the more your brain screams at you and time seems to slow around you. You curse yourself for getting your knife stuck in the neck of the first infected you'd killed, you'd not had the time to try and yank it back out having instead let it drop with the body with intentions of grabbing it after it was safe to do so. But now…now as the blood shot yellowed eyes of the woman come closer to you, her matted hair glued to her scalp with blood and clothes torn to pieces and jacket just barely hanging on her arms, now as you fate comes crashing towards you at a speed of too fast and too slow you wish you'd taken the few seconds to pull your knife free, you wish you'd slowed you'd pace just a little so you weren't alone in this room, that Joel might be there save you, to help you.

Your fear has frozen any yells for help, eyes watering and your throat tight you can only watch as the confused and ravenous eyes of the runner get closer, her jaw opening readying to bite, and arms outstretched to grab you. You couldn't help but push back against the wall and let out a quiet, hollow, "fuck."

But her hands never reached you, nor her snapping teeth. Instead she was yanked backwards by that loose jacket so hard she went flying into the wall across the room from you. Through water eyes you could see Joel’s broad silhouette slamming her head into a desk corner and throwing her to the floor before crushing her head in with his boot.

You were safe now, you knew this in the back of your mind, but the panic consumed you still. It muffled your head, made things feel fuzzy and filtered out all sound but the pounding of your heart and heavy breathing. Your legs felt weak, and you felt any balance you had in you leave your body as you slid down the wall you'd braced against.

You hadn't had a panic attack like this in years, but everything had happened so fast, death had come too close and it felt like he'd wrapped his hands around your neck anyway, it felt like you couldn't catch your breath. The world felt entirely numb and overestimating all at the same time at that moment.

In your panicked state, you hadn't heard Joel’s approach, you hadn't heard him calling out your name several times, nor did you notice him crouching in front of your curled form. You did however jerk away from his hand when Joel gently laid it on your shoulder. Your head snapped up only to find worried and tense amber eyes staring at your own. You saw more than heard as Joel said your name again and watched as he slowly reached down and pried your hands away from your gun, just now noticing how your fingers ached from holding the metal too tightly.

"Hey, look at me," Joel’s gruff voice slowly broke through the fog, and you looked back up to him, "Are you hurt? Did you get bit?"

Eyes wide, voice still failing you, a tear finally dropped from one of your eyes, clearing your vision just enough to be able to make out Joel’s somber expression. You watch as he nods once, but rakes his eyes over you anyway, looking for any blood that may be a little too fresh to be from any of the infected, but ultimately sighing when he noticed nothing.

Standing, Joel tucked your empty gun into his waistband before reaching down with a soft, "come on," grabbing your forearms and helping you stand once more. He didn't break away once you were standing like you thought he would though. Instead he looked you in the eye once more, his eyes boring into you in a way that made you unable to look away.

"You sure you're good," he asked, voice genuine and filled with worry and that's what broke you. Tears fully broke free as you left out a shuttering gasp.

"I…I'm sorry, Joel…"

Joel’s hands tighten their hold on your arms, one sliding up your arm and only stopping to settle at the junction where your neck met your shoulder. Joel whispered your name again trying to get your attention, but you ignored it.

"I should have been smarter. I shouldn't have gotten my knife lost like I did. I should have been better with my gun, and shouldn't have wasted so many bullets with bad aim. I-i…I should have wait for you-"

"Hey, hey, hey," Joel interrupts your rambling, "Look at me. Look at me. You're ok, you're fine, darlin'. It's not your fault."

Joel’s hand squeezed your shoulder while his thumb just barely rubbed the skin of your neck that peeked from your shirt. Your lip wobbled as you took a few deep breaths and closed your eyes. You could still feel Joel eyes on you though, their piercing nature paired with the wait of his rough hands on your arm and shoulder slowly grounding your back to reality.

After a minute you took a step back opening your eyes as Joel’s hands dropped from your frame. You let out a pitiful laugh and wiped your face of the tears you'd shed. You didn't look back to Joel, but you did turn to retrieve your knife as you spoke, your voice a little hoarse, "God I must seem pathetic."

Ripping your knife free you used the clothes on the runner you'd stabbed with it to wipe it clean of the concealing brown blood before standing. You didn't move though, just stood there looking down to the dead man at your feet as you heard Joel’s footsteps approach you.

You only lifted your head once Joel finally stood in front of you. Meeting his gaze as he grabs your hand and presses a quick kiss to the palm then holding it over the flannel covering his heart, the heavy beat you could feel under the fabric calming you back into your normal state finally, wiping you of the panic that'd encompassed your heart and soul only moments prior.

"Just promise…promise not t' go too far. I don't think I can lose anyone else. Especially not you, darlin'."

Have a request for Joel? My askbox is open!

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader #angst with comfort #of which i dont write too often lmao #i did love writing this so i hope you guys do too!!!

377 notes · View notes

builtbybrokenbells · 11 months

Text

Gold Dust Woman | xiii

Gold Dust Woman finally learns how to pick up the pieces and go home.

Read part twelve here

Listen while reading: unknown/nth - Hozier (listened to this and cried the entire time I wrote this 🤭)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader, Sam Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 13.5k

Warnings: ANGST, sadness, crying, breakups, feelings of regret/heartbreak, sad jake, swearing, smoking, some fluff! Sorry if I miss any!

only one more left after this one 😁 buckle up for the last bit of the ride (I was going to wait till the poll ended but I could NOT wait any longer. I’m so excited to finish up this piece as it’s been my main focus for so long. also lightly edited. my apologies 🫶🏻) as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!

Another city, another show. You were so caught up in the whirlwind of your life that you seemed to have forgotten what home truly was. Hotels were more familiar than you thought they ever could be, and you craved for a moment alone in your own house despite previously hating the emptiness that screamed from the walls. The show the night before went by without a hitch, and the weight of your decision was sitting heavy on your shoulders. You knew what you had to do, you just hadn’t yet gotten the chance to do it. After the concert came to a close, you were all too tired to even think about managing a night at the bar. You drove to the city over which you would be playing for tonight, and checked into the hotel rooms with no intent on leaving until the next morning. Dylan had fallen asleep in your bed with you, mid conversation about the high points of the night.

When you woke, she was still deep in slumber in her jeans and hoodie, neglecting blankets and pillows completely. You crawled from the mattress, a headache lingering but making a promise to leave as long as you had a sip of coffee. You showered, did your makeup, and dressed all before she even made a shift in her position. You opted to leave her there to catch up on her sleep, knowing that out of anyone, she deserved it most. You thought maybe the early morning would be the best time to execute your plan; not many were awake, and you might be able to reach Sam’s room without interception from anyone else. You knew that if you had to see any sad eyes or wistful faces, you would crack and crumble to the ground before you could even get to your destination. You slipped onto the patio attached to your room before making the leap to end the race, needing a moment to collect your thoughts before the inevitable end.

You sat on a flimsy deck chair, a cigarette smouldering between your fingers as you gazed out at the city. Despite your own drowsiness still existing, the world was awake and begging you to join it. Cars passed, honking angrily at pedestrians and other drivers in hopes it would make them hurry. The sun was bright, casting a glow over the ground that made even the busiest of streets seem inviting. Sidewalks bustled, and shops were decorated with neon signs inviting potential customers inside. You wondered if when the pain passed, you could resume some semblance of normalcy that you had been craving for so long. Then, you wondered if normal would be better than your previous sense of the word with Sam by your side, taking on the world with you. As excited as you were to find out, your hands still shook with anxiety for the future.

You were not doubting your certainty of loving Sam; you knew that to be true in every sense of the phrase, and you had known it long before your revelation in the bathroom the night before. Loving Sam was one of the easiest things you had ever done, and you knew that regret for picking him was implausible. Sam had an iron grip on your heart from the minute you met him, and he showed no signs of letting go. What you were doubting was your ability to choose the right path, and your willingness to let go of Jake. As much as you loved Sam, you knew you felt it for him, too, and you were not prepared to accept that you would never have Jake again. As much as love terrified you, letting go was also high on your list of fears. But, as they say, when one door closes another one opens, and this was not a grievous end as much as it was the next chapter of your life.

You loved Jake completely, and so much so that when you thought about it for too long it made your chest ache and your head spin. He did not lack anything in the slightest, but your driving force was justified by the fact he was just too similar to you. You shared the fear of intimacy as well as commitment, and you both struggled with vulnerability and communication. Because of that, the emotions housed between you were often volatile and difficult to navigate. You were a self-assured hot headed person who needed someone to ground you, and you feared that Jake would feed into that side of you because he housed so many of the same traits. So, it was not a lack of love causing you to walk away; it was simply because you knew you had the same ability to hurt him as you did love him, just as he did for you. Loving someone means taking risks, but a risk that large could be fatal, and you were not willing to sacrifice him or yourself at the hands of pleasure.

You thought for so long that your cigarette burnt to an end before you had the chance to enjoy it, and the sun had slightly shifted positions in the sky. Now, it was shining directly on you, illuminating the extent of your sins and showcasing it to anyone who cared to watch. No matter what the right decision was, hurt was inevitable, and you all but paved the way for it to be. It was only right for you to play the game in which you thought it should be, because dragging it out any further would only be torture for everyone involved. You tossed the cigarette to the ground, not even a cherry falling out to reminisce on the fire it used to have. You felt the same, discarded and out of place as your flame slowly flickered away. Your only hope was that after the day was through, you would begin to shine brighter than ever before.

When you went back inside, Dylan was still snoring peacefully with no sign of stirring anytime soon. You chuckled at the sight, grabbing a blanket that had been pushed to the foot of the bed and gently throwing it on top of her. You stepped towards the door, letting your hand rest on the knob as you gave yourself a pep talk. You knew what needed to be done, but had doubts about your strength to do so. Underneath your hard and confident exterior, you were nothing but a mess of cowardly second-guesses and insecure assumptions. You feared that once you stepped outside, any sense you had talked into yourself would flee and never return. With a deep breath, you swung the door open and stepped outside. The silence was astounding, and it seemed to be loud enough to deafen you. The sheer emptiness of the hallway was overwhelming, and it felt like it was slowly paralyzing you as it encouraged you to run circles.

With an unsteady nature, you stepped forward in the direction of Sam’s room. You made it halfway, then had to stop and reconvene your thoughts. “Why is this so fucking hard?” You whispered to yourself, running a hand through your hair. You leaned back against the wall, inhaling deeply in hopes that it would aid you in your search for confidence. You ran your palms across the fabric of your jeans, the scratchy material sending a shiver down your spine and regulating your body. “Okay, y/n. You can do this. It’s not that hard. Just knock on his door, and take it from there.” You whispered, knowing that if anyone were to see the state you were in they might have genuine concerns about your mental well being.

Just as you were about to continue on your journey, a door swung open just ahead of you. You snapped your head up, looking in the direction of the noise as a genuine fear flooded you. It looked like Sam’s door, which only prompted you to want to run. After a few seconds, a body stepped into view, and almost all of your nerves calmed. “Oh, hey, Aaron.” You sighed, laughing at your own foolishness.

“Y/n!” His eyes lit up as if he’d won a grand prize by finding you in the hallway. “I was just coming to get you. Makes my job easy.”

“Oh, me? No, actually, I-I have something I have to-“

“I think you’re going to want to come with me.” He chuckled as he walked towards you. He held out his arm, beckoning you away from the wall.

“No, Aaron, I have something really important to do, and-“

“This is more important, I promise you.” He said, waiting for you to join him. You watched him, hesitation clear in your face as you looked between him and Sam’s door. When he raised an expecting eyebrow at you, you let out a sigh that trailed off with a groan, slumping your shoulders as you walked to join him. “I will make up for whatever I’m taking you away from, but I really think you’ll be happy to come with me.”

“Whatever you say,” you sing-songed, letting him guide you towards the elevator. You both disappeared behind the doors, leaving Sam’s room as nothing but a memory as you were transported down to the first floor. “So, what’s this about?”

“It’s a surprise.” He chuckled. “I’m just thankful you were awake so I didn’t have to fight with you.”

“Come on, Aaron. You can’t drag me away from my very important things and not even tell me what it’s about.” You complained, tapping your foot against the ground as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Okay, how about this: I’ll tell you what we’re doing if you tell me what you were doing that was so important.” Your movements paused as you racked your brain for an answer. There was no way you were willing to tell him the true intent of your journey, and the elevator dinged before you could come up with an excuse. “That’s what I thought.” He laughed, walking out without another word. You let out a huff of annoyance as you followed behind him, but you could not argue with his clear advantage over the conversation. He led you into the lobby of the hotel, making sure you were close behind him in case you had any inkling to turn away. The room was oddly quiet for a morning; nobody seemed to be waiting impatiently to check out, nor did the staff seem hassled with work.

When you made it to the front doors, Aaron greeted the bodies that were waiting for you. You could not see past him, so who was there would come as a surprise once he stepped out of the way. When the doors swung open and your manager stepped forward to exit, your heart sunk and your stomach churned. Jake was looking down at his phone, sunglasses on and wearing what looked to be the clothes he slept in the night before. When you woke that morning, Jake was not the first brother you had hoped to have an interaction with, nor was he the one you had the courage to face. You barely had enough nerve to walk towards Sam’s room, and you knew you would not have the strength to maintain any kind of normalcy with Jake.

“Didn’t know you were coming along.” Jake smiled, joining you by the side, but his excitement did not seem to match his words. He knew you were coming, and he had been shaking with anticipation since finding out about it. This was not your idea of a worthwhile trip, not because you did not want to see Jake, but because you wanted to see him so badly that it made your chest ache. You did not know if you would make it through the day without cracking under his pressure, and you knew if you did let him back in, you would only be breaking his heart even further.

“Guess everyone’s full of surprises this morning.” You tried to smile, but it came out with more similarity to a grimace rather than anything welcoming. “Not even sure why I’m here.”

“He didn’t tell you?” You shook your head, avoiding looking over at him for as long as you could. When you felt his hand grace your lower back, you nearly jumped out of your skin. “Trust me, you’ll be happy you came.” He said, tightening his grip ever so slightly. You had to fight every molecule in your body to not give in to the touch, to lean into him and forget every single thing you had sworn to that morning, but you persevered. Even if it was with great difficulty, you still considered it as an accomplishment.

“I’ll take your word for it.” You breathed, climbing into the backseat of the vehicle they had waiting for you. He slid in beside you, closing the door gently and locking you into seclusion with him once more.

“Have I ever lied to you, Gold Dust Woman?” He asked, looking over at you. You caught his eye for the first time that morning, feeling the breath catch in your throat.

“Not yet, Jacob.” Out of all the times you wished you could be alone with him, you never once thought you would wish you could get away from him. You looked out of the tinted window, mindlessly drumming your fingers against your leg in a clear show of anxiety.

“You seem tense.” He noted, inching closer without even realizing it.

“Oh, just tired.” You lied, hoping it would ease his worry enough to give you some more time to collect yourself.

“You know you can’t lie to me, Gold Dust Woman.” He said, sneaking his hand towards you and settling it on top of your own. You closed your eyes, revealing in the intimacy that would not last long. You hated knowing that you would have to put the moment to an end even if you were enjoying it so much. No matter if you still wanted Jake, you knew that all the conclusions you had drawn were correct and of grave importance. The longer you let the dance continue, the worse the situation would end. You had hurt him enough to know that you no longer had any right to be selfish, even if you so badly wanted to.

But, delaying the inevitable had always been your area of expertise, and for simplicity’s sake, you thought it alright to do it one last time.

“Can we just… can we just be friends, today? Co-workers?” You asked, avoiding looking at his face. You knew the pain that stemmed from your words was evident and quick to surface. “Yesterday was just… it was a lot for me, and I think I just need to sort my thoughts out before jumping right back into it.”

“Friends…” he deliberated, slowly releasing his hold on your hand. “Did you just friend-zone me?” He asked, almost laughing at the incredulity of the question.

“Just for today, Jacob.” You assured him. Even if it was a lie, you knew it was for the best. Your intent was to get both of you through whatever Aaron had planned for you, and then deal with your personal matters afterwards. If you were to break the news to him so bluntly and so soon, recovery would not be possible in the near future.

“Just for today,” he pondered, looking out the window. “Don’t think we’ve ever been good at being friends, sweetheart, but for you, I’ll try my best.” And he was right. Jake had been much less of a friend than any of the other boys. For a long time, he was an active participant of the party lifestyle that was so accessible in your home, and he grew into an acquaintance. Neither of you were fond of the bonding process, and fell into routine of knowing each other while remaining strangers. Within the months leading up to his confessional session in your bedroom, you had managed to bridge the gap between stranger and friend. You were caught alone more often, sharing secret hangouts away from the others to avoid jealousy or confusion, usually filled with shared music and drunken fun. It was never anything serious, or so you thought. Now, thinking back to the few days you spent with him as a ‘friend’, it was clear to you that Jake was trying to tell you he loved you without actually needing to say the words.

You felt even worse recalling his silent show of adoration, because you realized you had always been doing the same thing to him as Sam had done to you, yet he never seemed broken or bent out of shape because of it. Jake had grown familiar with the idea of loss, but he had not let it get in his way. Friends was never in his itinerary, but when it came to making you happy, he would sacrifice everything including his own life. “So let’s try for a day,” you said, more intrigued by the idea. “Even if we suck at it, it’s worth a shot, right?” He looked back at you, thrilled that you had finally found the strength to look in his direction. He gave you a small smile, not pleased about the idea, but curious as to what it would be like. “Can you spend an entire day not trying to get me into bed?” He chuckled, holding your gaze as he thought of a response.

“That would be the ultimate test of willpower, but I suppose I could try. Do you think you can spend the whole day rejecting me if I can’t?” It was your turn to laugh, finding the nature of the conversation easygoing and comforting. You missed laughing with Jake, and you hoped that after the day was through, you would still be able to laugh with him again.

“I think I can manage.” You nodded.

“Alright, Gold Dust Woman. Friends for a day.” He said, extending his hand towards you. You grabbed it, shaking it with a little bit of force. You felt guilty knowing that he was ultimately agreeing to the loss of you, but you were enjoying the happiness too much to break his heart.

“Friends for a day, Jacob.” You reiterated, dropping your hand back to his side. The rest of the car ride was silent, both of you wondering how you would be able to separate love from your relationship. It was a daunting task, but you were both too stubborn to admit you would not be able to do it. When the car rolled to a stop in front of the venue you were supposed to play at later in the evening, you were confused as to why you needed to be here so soon.

You broke out into the day, squinting at the stinging sunlight in your eyes. You waited for Aaron to join you so you knew where you were headed. He guided you into the back entrance of the building where you immediately noticed a crowd of people much to large for so early in the day. You bit your tongue instead of inquiring about your curiosity, knowing that you would find out why you were there in only a few moments. Jake immediately found himself busy with a crowd of people who were stationed outside of his dressing room, and Aaron guided you towards your own. He had a smile stuck on his face, clearly excited to see your reaction to the news of what you would be doing. When you peered inside your room, Rachel, your stylist, was sitting inside and on her phone to pass the time. “About time you got here,” she said, looking up with a smile. “I was beginning to think that you would never show up.”

“I’m here,” you laughed, giving a small wave to serve as a greeting.

“Sit,” she ordered, directing you towards the wardrobe chair. You did as you were told, taking post in the seat as she grabbed some items from her suitcase of supplies. “We’re going to spend a lot of time together today.” She said as she ran her fingers through your hair.

“Don’t we spend lots of time together already?” You asked with a small smirk on your face.

“Today’s a special day,” she informed you, turning your chair so she could see your face. “Did nobody tell you why you’re here?”

“No, and I’m assuming by now that nobody will.” You didn’t mean to sound so annoyed, but after being pulled away from Sam so early in the morning with no good reason as to why, you couldn’t help but feel slightly put off. She laughed at your comment as your personality showed through and as usual, it didn’t bother her in the slightest.

“You look better today. Brighter, more relaxed. You sleep good last night.” Her comments hit you like a truck. You knew the last two weeks your appearance had been lacking, so run down by the exhausting back and forth you had found yourself in. Running without a destination was tiresome and pointless, but now that the finish line was in sight, you could not lie and say that you did not feel better just by seeing it. You had your energy back, and your mind was finally calmed down just by knowing that you had a real chance at happiness. Until it was in your grasp, though, you refused to accept that this was the end. Your hesitancy to accept finality was not because of doubt in your decision, but because you knew the brothers too well to think they would let this go without a last word.

“Yeah, we did sleep really good last night.” You said, closing your eyes as she began applying makeup to your face. “Think the tour life is just catching up to me.”

“Mhm,” she hummed, dusting eyeshadow over your eyes. “Or the Kiszka life, maybe?” You peeked at her through the eye she wasn’t focused on, surprised that she made such a bold comment.

“Well, they do say that you shouldn’t fall in love with your coworkers.” You said, closing your eye again. With how public your ordeal had been made, you couldn’t even find it within yourself to be upset that she was commenting on it.

“Especially not two of them.” You both shared a laugh, finding it easier to joke about it than make it into a conversation. “Don’t let them steal your shine, Gold Dust Woman. They may be special, but not as special as you.”

“I’m trying,” you assured her. Within a few moments, she was finished with your makeup and pointed you towards an outfit she had picked out for you. She allowed you to change before pinning everything in place, and only took a few moments to do your hair. “Casual today?” You asked, looking the mirror as she worked on the waves in your hair.

“Simple, but beautiful.” She said, spraying on hairspray as she continued. She styled your bangs, making sure they would stay in place before stepping away to take a look at the finished product. “What do you think?” She asked, waiting for an answer. You looked to the mirror, dawning over the detail of your makeup. It was so well done that you could barely tell you were wearing any. Your hair was perfectly in place, and your clothes matched the look effortlessly.

“Very 70’s,” you noted, looking down at the bellbottom jeans. The tank top you were wearing was very low cut, one half a burnt orange and the other a rustic brown. The fabric was connected just under your breastbone with a large gem, and the shirt settled just around your rib cage. She threw a leather jacket your way with a smile and shrug of her shoulders.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s a great thing.” You corrected, throwing the tan coloured jacket over your shoulders.

“Then it’s showtime.” She smiled, ushering you to stand. She guided you into the hallway where groups of people were standing with cameras and sound equipment. You looked back over your shoulder at her, nervous about what was to come next. Between a cluster of bodies, you caught sight of a familiar head of hair. You felt relief flood through you, knowing that whatever Aaron was putting you up to, Jake would be there to do it with you.

He looked around, noticing you almost as soon as you emerged from your dressing room. He broke off the conversation he was stuck in, and pushed through the crowd to join you. When he was fully in your line of sight, you felt like you had been punched in the stomach from his beauty alone. He was dressed in an all white suit, a flash of his chest showing and the lower button of his shirt loose. He had a ring on his finger, a chain around his neck, and a smile on his face that matched the ethereal aura he possessed. You managed a smile to match his despite your anxiety, comforted by his familiarity and always happy to be in his company.

He joined you by your side, clearly itching to wrap an arm around you, but stuck his hand in his pocket instead. He was always open for a challenge, and if being a friend was the subject at hand, he would try his absolute best to achieve the desired outcome. “You know what we’re doing, yet?” He asked, looking down at you. Even if he was adamant on complying with (in his opinion) your ridiculous request, he could not hide the pure adoration he held for you in his eyes. It was hard to ignore, even when you weren’t looking for it, and the strength in which he felt for you nearly sent you to your knees. On top of trying to force yourself out of love with him, you had to try not to punish yourself for the choices you made. Breaking his heart was never something you intended, but it was something you both knew was a possibility.

“Dressing up and taking pictures? That’s usually all you guys do.”

“Ha,” he rolled his eyes, mocking your weak insult. “You’re so clever, you know.”

“I try.” You grinned. He was trying to ease your mind with humour, and it was working. The longer you laughed with him, the less you thought about anything else.

“Pictures will definitely be involved, but not necessarily the focus of the day.” He said, giving you a hint in hopes you would figure it out on your own. You looked around, thinking hard as your eyes gazed at the bodies in view.

“An interview?”

“There you go, sweetheart.” He nodded.

“Like, a real interview?” You asked again, the reality setting in. “For like, a magazine?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, chuckling at your excitement.

“They actually want to interview me, too?”

“Of course they do,” he said, finally reaching out and placing a friendly hand on your upper back. It did not strike you as romantic, rather just a friend sharing your elation. “I meant it when I said that you were meant for this, y/n.” Your heart warmed at his soft smile, and you couldn’t help but reach out and wrap your arm around him, too. It was not laced with any implication, much less like any other touch you shared with him previously. Instead, it was just a physical show of your appreciation for each other. Even if you were not going to end up with Jake, you knew that you had a wicked respect for him as a person and never wanted to see a lifetime without him in it. Even if you were in love with him now, you knew he had the ability to be the best friend you had ever had, and you were holding on to that knowledge to get you through the rest of the battle.

Aaron stepped towards you two, happy to see the comfortable dynamic the two of you were engaged in. He had a small fear of you two not wanting to try and get along for the occasion, especially since the last few weeks he had seen nothing but the two of you ignoring each other. “Alright, are you guys ready?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Jake nodded.

“They’re going to take some pictures first, then the two of you are going to sit and answer some questions. That sound good?”

“Together?” You asked. Aaron nodded. “Okay, sounds good.” The manager gave you both a smile, then nodded his head down the hallway as if to tell you to follow him. When he took off in a fast walk, you both followed suit without any further questions. He lead you down to a nearby room that had been cleared and set up with loads of photography equipment. There was couches off to the side, and beside the white screen for the photography background, both of your guitars were set in stands, clearly polished and shined for the occasion. “They look awfully pretty together, don’t they?” You asked, looking over at Jake. He gave a small chuckle, slowly nodding his head at your words.

“Yeah, they do.” He replied, looking off at the distance but not necessarily at the guitars in question. A sad smile crossed your lips, but you didn’t let it linger. Before you had a chance to move on from the minor hurt, a photographer was quick to join you in the room.

“Alright,” she said, looking between you both. “Let’s get some individual shots, then some together. Mr. Kiszka, we’ll do yours first, if that’s okay.”

“After you, Mr. Kiszka,” you noted, a laugh stuck in your throat. You stepped to the side, allowing him to take the centre of attention. It wasn’t long before she was positioning him and snapping pictures. Some of them on his lonesome, but mostly of him with his SG. You were thankful for Jake’s growing collection; after the tragic loss of his SG due to the altercation between him and Sam, he at least had a backup to play for the meantime. You couldn’t hide your smile as he posed, finding yourself lost in the small details of his face. Even if you knew that a relationship with Jake was not in your future, you couldn’t deny his blinding beauty. His presence took up all of the space in the room, and you couldn’t find it within yourself to complain. You didn’t mind living in Jake’s shadow for the day, as a guitarist and as a person, because he deserved the attention. His talent and his personality was well deserving of recognition, and you were happy to witness it first hand.

“You’re up,” Jake said, placing his guitar back on the stand.

“Okay.” You nodded, making a move to stand in his previous position. You tried to relax yourself as much as you could, lowering your shoulders and putting on a blinding smile. The flash from the camera was overwhelming every time it went off, but you tried your best to not let it bother you. She took a few pictures of you in different positions, getting your best angles before asking you to grab your guitar. You did so, carefully holding it in your hands and positioning it as she asked you to. Eventually, she asked Jake to join you. He grabbed his SG, waiting for her to direct him further. She stepped forward, guiding him towards you and placing you back to back. She helped you position your arms to show off the instruments before taking a step back to see if she needed to change anything.

You were standing, leaning against each other as you held your guitars upright, slightly turned to face the camera. She took a few with no smiles, and a few with. You couldn’t lie and say that you weren’t thrilled about the outcome; she showed you both the product of her work, and you had fallen in love with the last picture. You were both standing in the same position, guitars shining brightly under the studio lighting, and you had smiles on your faces so large that you would never be able to guess there was any turmoil beneath the surface. Your eyes were glistening with the joy of being with each other. Despite the impending heartache, you had to stop and appreciate the moment of warmth. It was a memory you would long remember, likely until the end of your time, and the fondness would be solely accredited to Jake.

“Can we get a copy of that one?” Jake asked, feeling the exact same as you did about the picture.

“I can edit it before I send it, if you’d rather me do that.” She offered, but he was already shaking his head before she finished speaking.

“No, that’s okay.” He said, looking to you in hopes you agreed.

“Yeah, just like that is fine.” You nodded.

“Alright, sounds good to me. I’ll get started, and the interviewer will be here in a few minutes.” She said, smiling at the two of you. “Thanks, guys.”

“Thank you,” you said, head still spinning at the idea of being plastered on a magazine. Jake placed a gentle hand on your back once more and guided you towards the couches as the photographer left the room.

“See, that wasn’t bad.” He offered, taking a seat first. You sat down behind him, shaking your head.

“It was so cool.” You tried to hide your own gushing about the situation, but it was evident in your features. He laughed at your face, unable to hide his feelings for you as he did so. He settled back on the couch, fighting every urge to touch you in hopes that you might give in first. You settled back, too, also finding it difficult to keep your hands off him. You hoped that once the truth was spoken and the storm had passed, the desire to be with him would somehow disappear.

A few moments later, a young woman stepped in, different from the one who took your pictures. Behind her, there was a crew of people with audio equipment who would take care of the filming. She moved to greet you, shaking both of your hands and introducing herself. She settled on the chair beside the couch, pulling out a clipboard from her bag. “Alright, I won’t take up too much of your time. We just wanted to ask a few questions for the next issue of Guitar World. This tour is the talk of the town, and Gold Dust Woman is one of the biggest up and coming bands around.” She smiled at you as she finished her statement. You thought you were going to choke on your own shock, your heart racing and your eyes widening as you tried to process what she was saying. You had no idea the interview was for ‘Guitar World’, and you had no idea that you had gained enough popularity for such a prestigious magazine to know you by name. “They’re going to film, just so I have the interview on record to write the article later, so don’t mind them.”

“Sounds good to me.” Jake smiled, eyes lingering on the interviewer for a second too long. You noticed, shamed at the rush of jealousy you felt flood your body. You had no right to feel such things about him anymore, and you needed to get yourself out of that headspace as soon as possible.

“So, if you guys are ready, we can get started.” She offered. You both gave a nod, not finding any argument for the statement. “Perfect.” She said, settling back in her chair and giving a thumbs up to the staff running the filming. One they gave her the go-ahead, she started slow, getting you both to state your names and your band’s names. After that, she jumped right into the bulk of the questions. She started with Jake, asking a few simple things about their new album and their plans for the future. She noted the Grammy nomination they had received very recently, and inquired about his excitement on the topic. Eventually, she turned to you and began her deep dive into your musical career. “So, y/n, you and your band seemed to come out of nowhere; have you been a band for long, or is this something new for you?”

“Well, we’ve been a band for quite some time now, but we mostly played at local bars and restaurants around home. We’ve always been fond of the idea of doing something more, but never really had the chance to do it until now.”

“That’s fantastic,” she noted, making sure you knew she was listening. “Now, ‘Gold Dust Woman’, is that a play on the infamous Fleetwood Mac song, or does it mean something more to you?”

“I suppose both,” you chuckled. “I’ve always been a huge fan of their music, and Stevie Nicks in particular, but I was actually given the nickname a while back by a very important person to me. When we agreed to tour with Greta, we hadn’t really talked about an official name. I brought up the idea and they all seemed to love it. From there it was history, I guess.”

“So it’s almost like you get to carry a part of that person with you wherever you go?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, unable to hide the smile that was forming. “I owe a lot to that person, even outside of music, too. They helped me get to where I am today, and I couldn’t think of a better way to thank them for it.” You tried not to look over at Jake, wanting to avoid any sneaking suspicions from the public that it was him you were talking about.

“How has touring been so far for you? You said this was your first time?”

“Yeah, it is. It’s been fantastic so far. Seeing the world, spending time with my best friends and doing the things we love most… I couldn’t have asked for better.”

“Do you have any plans for an album for yourself?” She inquired.

“We definitely talk about it, but we don’t really have a label or anything of the sorts. I’m actually a recording artist when I’m not on stage, so if we do something, I can see it just being a private event for us.”

“I think now you’ll have labels fighting for you; the energy you have on stage is electric, and I don’t need to mention the talent, because that’s just a given.” You laughed, feeling your cheeks heat with a blush at her statement.

“Thank you,” you replied, trying to ease your nerves as you spoke. “That’s the dream, really. Music has always been a passion, and to think we have a shot at doing it full time is absolutely mind blowing.”

“I think we’re all wondering about your relationship with Greta. Have you been friends for long, or only in the recent months?”

“Oh, yeah. We’ve been friends for years, now. It’s been really cool touring with friends, because even when we’re exhausted, the work still doesn’t feel like work. Just like a little family living life together.” She smiled at the statement, nodding along with your words. Then, she turned her attention to Jake.

“What are your thoughts on the matter?”

“Oh, me?” Jake asked. “I agree wholeheartedly. Given the opportunity to work so closely with such fantastic people has been nothing short of remarkable. They’re all very passionate about their work, and they have proven to us beyond anything we ever expected that they were meant for that stage. It’s been an honour to work so closely with them, and if I could have it my way, I’d tour with them for the rest of our careers.” You looked over at him, a small blush dusting your cheeks at his kind words.

“You guys really seem to fit together in terms of visuals; has there been any hardships along the way? I know that sometimes everything might not be as perfect as it seems.” After a moment, he gave a slow shake of his head.

“No, not that I can think of. The benefit of working with people who you connect with on a higher level is that even when we struggle and all of our ideas seem to clash, we always come out stronger.” He said, confident in his answer. “I can’t speak for the future, but so far, it’s been delightful and almost cathartic in a way to connect with people who live and feel the same way about life as we do.”

“Awesome,” she grinned. “And of course, this might be a loaded question, but from one musician’s perspective on another, what is your opinion on Gold Dust Woman?” He drew in a long breath, leaning his head back for a moment as he thought about his answer. Eventually, he looked over at you while he collected his thoughts, then looked back at the interviewer.

“I think that they embody the spirit of what music used to be, and in todays age, that’s incredibly hard to find. As a musician, I have so much respect for their work and the energy they put into it and as a guitarist, I feel like there is so much that I learn from her all of the time. It’s wonderful to share a love for something so beautiful, especially when it’s something we can teach each other more about every day. I’m grateful for her talent and all of the ideas that she brings to the table, because watching her work her magic on that fretboard has inspired me to work harder with mine.”

“You seem quite fond of her,” she noted. Jake let out a small laugh, nodding his head.

“Yeah, you could say that. She’s more than my colleague; she’s my best friend. Family, even. I mean look at her up on that stage when she performs. It’s like she’s the modern day Stevie Nicks. I hear it in her voice, in the passion and the love for music, but it see it in her eyes and her heart. She’s got this aura that follows her around wherever she goes. It screams rock and roll, and power, and all of the other wonderful things that come with it. No matter who you are, I think it’s hard not to admire her when she’s doing what she loves most. And aside from the talent, she’s just a great person, and I can confidently speak for all of us when I say that it’s been an incredibly inspiring experience to be able to work with her.”

You could not seem to tear your eyes away from him as he spoke, your throat constricting and your eyes threatening tears. You had never heard words from Jake that were quite like the ones he spoke, then. They were full of truth and more profound than anything you had ever heard before. You never would have believed someone could speak about you with such admiration, and the fact that he was willing to admit it to the world was overwhelming. You had to pry your eyes away from him, feeling yourself falling in love all over again despite knowing that you couldn’t have him like that, anymore. You had made your decision, and you had to stick with it. It was the only way you would make it out alive.

“How do you feel on that subject?” She asked you, pulling you out of the trance you were stuck in.

“I couldn’t agree more,” you shrugged. “I mean, Jake is a phenomenal guitarist and working so closely with someone who can create magic with an instrument has been enlightening and encouraging. Despite popular belief, it’s never been a deterrent for me to work with someone who is so skilled. If anything, it’s been a huge benefit, and I find everything he does it’s very influential. When I feel like I should give up, I can look to him and find the inspiration to keep going. He teaches me just as much about music as I have for him, and as a musician, I envy the talent he has. I hope that I continue to have the opportunity to grow and play alongside of him, and that I can continue to know him as a person. We owe our success as a band to Greta, but I owe my success as a guitarist to him.” You could feel him staring, but you did your best to fight the pressure to look back.

“My final question for you guys is quite a simple one; we couldn’t call ourselves a guitar magazine if we didn’t ask the most important question of all. What guitars do you both play?” You both laughed at the simple nature of the inquiry, looking to each other to see who wanted to go first.

“I have a 61’ Gibson SG. Although, back when they first produced the line of guitars, they sold them under the name Les Paul. It’s my go to, and my pride and joy. I have a few other ones I use, but that guitar is definitely my number one.”

“I mainly use my 57’ reissue. It’s a Les Paul Gold Top style, and it’s been my tried and true since I started writing music.”

“Alright,” she grinned. “Thank you both so much, it’s been a pleasure speaking with you. I hope to talk again sometime, and I hope that the rest of the tour brings just as much happiness as the first half has seemed to. Maybe next time we see each other, you’ll have a new record for us to fawn over.” She told you.

“Thank you so much.” You said, reaching out to shake her hand. Jake did the same, and the both of you settled back in your seat as the crew filed out of the room. You let out a long sigh, heart still pounding in your chest. When the room was empty aside from the pair of you, you finally turned to look at him. “Did you mean all of that?”

“Of course I did, Gold Dust Woman.” He whispered. “Did you?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, feeling the sting of heartbreak begin to make its appearance once again. You had no idea how to let him go after he said such beautiful things about you. He checked the clock on the wall, noting the time of day before he spoke again.

“Did you want to grab some lunch before soundcheck?” He asked. “As friends, of course.” He added, making sure you were aware he was still adhering to the agreement.

“That sounds like fun.” You agreed, almost wishing that you did not agree to be friends for the day. The longer you spent with him, the more your morals seemed to disappear.

“I’ll go get changed, then we can go?” You nodded, unable to speak any more words without either ending things forever or professing undying love for him, and neither seemed like an option you wanted for yourself. Without any other conversation, he stood and left you on your lonesome.

You leaned back into the cushions of the couch, praying that they would swallow you whole and hopefully end your incessant misery. You knew that going out with Jake would only worsen your predicament, but you couldn’t seem to refuse the offer. Much like the beginning, he was irresistible in his charm and impossible to forget. You weren’t even sure if the devil or the angel was behind the decision, and you didn’t seem to care enough. Whether good or bad, you were bound to enjoy the experience anyway. If you had to leave him, you would at least have one good memory to end the experience with. You settled your shaking hands, satiating your thoughts with empty promises to yourself as you stood. You knew that in no way was entertaining any further relationship with Jake the right thing to do, but you were just too much of a coward to confess it.

You walked into the hallway, almost immediately running into Aaron. He gave you a pat on the back and a few words of gratitude for your cooperation. You made it a note to genuinely thank him later on once the turmoil in your heart had settled. You walked towards Jake’s dressing room, waiting patiently for him to finish up. You did not have to wait for long, because within a few moments, his door swung open and he was back in your company dressed in his regular clothes. He had a pair of sunglasses settled low on his nose and a lazy smile on his lips. It only took a few seconds for sandalwood to choke you and your sin to catch up in time for the kill.

Wordlessly, you walked out of the back door of the venue. You headed in the direction of the street in search of somewhere to eat. The sidewalks were barren in contrast to the cars passing by, and you only had to walk for a short while before you came across a strip of buildings. There were a few local shops, but your eyes landed on a coffee shop that peaked your interest so much that you couldn’t bother to see what else the town had to offer. Jake noticed your expression, not needing to ask if that’s where you wanted to go. When it came to caffeinated beverages, you were always the first in line. He led the way to the front door, opening it for you and allowing you to go inside.

The vibe in the air was immediately calming and the smell of coffee filled your nose. You let out an audible sigh of relief just knowing that you would have one in your hand soon enough. Jake stood beside you in line, silent but relaxed as you both looked over the menus. “What do you want to eat?” He asked, turning his head to look over at you.

“I think the ham and cheddar looks good,” you noted before looking to the next board. “Oh, they have soup!” You exclaimed, keeping your voice quiet. He had to laugh at the glee you felt for such a simple idea. Before you could say anything else, he took a step towards the cashier. You followed behind him, but clearly didn’t need to aid him in ordering. He listed off your coffee, the sandwich and your favourite soup out of the list they were offering. He ordered for himself and paid before you could even think to grab your wallet. “You didn’t have to do that, Jake.”

“I know, I wanted to.” He assured you, moving down the line to wait for the order. When everything was ready, you both carried the items to a secluded booth in the corner. When you sat down, silence became you once more as if it were your destiny to have so much to say but be unable to speak it. You were so wound up with anxiety that you found it difficult to begin eating. Instead, you sipped at your coffee and found yourself delighted at the taste. Once again, he proved to you his ability to remember the details that nobody else cared to look for. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he noted, grabbing his phone from his pocket. He was occupied with the screen only for a moment before you felt your own vibrate. You grabbed it, checking the message he had sent you. There was an attachment, and when you clicked on it you felt a whole new wave of shame wash over you. It was the picture the two of you had gotten together during the photoshoot. “She emailed it to me during the interview. Figured you might want it too.”

“I do, thank you.” You muttered, never letting your eyes move from the photograph. It was an infinite reminder of the elation the two of you felt when around each other, and it would forever haunt you because you knew you had to let it go.

“Speak your truth, Gold Dust Woman.” He said, taking a bite of his own food.

“What do you mean?” You asked, cracking the lid of the disposable soup container.

“Something is on your mind.”

“No, I’m okay.” You shook your head, another punch of guilt thrown when you saw he had somehow also known what your favourite soup was. He seemed to know everything about you without you ever needing to speak the words, and it seemed like every higher power had intent to punish you, and they were doing their job splendidly.

“How many times do I have to tell you, you can’t lie to me, y/n.” You looked up to meet his eye, immediately crushed under the weight of his stare. You had to correct your previous thought; it was not the picture that would haunt you for a lifetime, but rather him as a whole. How strange it felt to be haunted by someone was still alive, but that was exactly how it felt to be in his presence in that moment.

“What do you want me to say, Jake?”

“Anything,” he pleaded, although not blatantly apparent in his desperation for an answer. “You didn’t ask me to be friends for a day because you can’t make a decision; you asked me to be friends today because you already have, and it’s not me.”

“No, Jake.” You shook your head hoping he would see reason. You hated that he could decode every lie and half-truth that came out of your mouth before you even spoke it. “It’s not like that,” it was like that, but you were nowhere near ready to profess it.

“Then what is it, sweetheart?” His voice was not condescending, nor angry. It was inquisitive, like he just needed to know what the truth was.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, closing your eyes to block out the tears that were begging to be shed. “I know that it hurts, but I don’t know where it hurts. It doesn’t stop, and I don’t think it ever will. And I know that we suck at being friends, because I’ve spent the entire day falling more in love with you than I ever was before. You get on camera, and you say those sweet things that nobody else has ever thought about me, and you look at me like I’m the best thing to walk this earth, but I’m not, Jake. I’m far from it, and you need to realize that, too.”

“So that’s your plan? You want me to stop loving you so you don’t have to pull away, first?” He knew, and he knew from the minute he saw you. You couldn’t back down and you couldn’t run away. He had you cornered, and you felt like you were going to snap under the pressure. “If so, that’s never going to happen, angel. I’ve loved you quietly for years, and I can keep loving you quietly while I hope you come back. Falling out of love with you has never been an option, so I’ll learn to live with it, even if it hurts.”

“And I’ll love you forever, even if it hurts.” You said, a grimace taking hold on your lips. “I can’t figure out how to stop loving you.”

“Then why are you trying if you haven’t made up your mind?” You looked up, tears blurring your vision as they landed on his face. He had locked you into stalemate yet again. You wished that you didn’t have to feel it anymore, but you felt everything. The pain sprinkled with regret, the shame mixed with sadness, and the love coated with desire. You felt everything for him, but you knew you shouldn’t. It was a terrible game to play, the one in which you tried to differentiate between right and wrong, especially when it came to him. From the very beginning, the rights felt wrong with Jake and the wrongs felt right. When in his company, you had no idea how to draw the line between needs and wants, and you had no idea how to implement any sort of morality when he was more powerful than any sin or holy force. “You can say the words, y/n. I can take it.”

“I don’t want to.” You shook your head.

“You have to.” He said, defeat clear in his face. He had lost, and he needed to hear you say it in order to begin to heal from the wounds.

“Jake,” you sighed, hands shaking as you reached for your coffee cup “don’t do this, now. That’s not why I came here with you.”

“Maybe it’s why I came, y/n.” He offered the idea, knowing that you hadn’t yet thought of that possibility. “I love you, and you know that, but if I’m not what you want anymore, I need to learn how to be your friend. It’s going to suck, but it’s something I have to do, and I have to start now if I’m ever going to be able to do it.”

“I love you,” you whispered, biting the inside of your lip to stop the tears from falling.

“But you love him more.” He said, watching your face to try and understand if he was reading the situation right. “It’s okay, angel.”

“It’s never been about that,” you shook your head. “It’s not about loving someone more, or even wanting someone more. It’s just been about what feels right, and what you and I have been doing is fantastic, but it’s just as hard as it is good. I don’t know if I can do that for the rest of my life.” Your heart ached for him, and the pain that was clear in his eyes. He had no fight left in him, and neither did you. It was a horrible thing to say, but it was the truth. You and Jake had been no stranger to struggle, and perhaps the complications lied within the lust that so often overshadowed your emotional need. You had forgone the emotional connection in hopes that sex would solve it for you, but the truth of the matter was that you both had no idea how to love one another despite feeling it so strongly. The good days were great, but the bad days were horrible. Days of ignoring each other, the name calling and yelling all pointed straight to failure.

You knew you could love Jake forever, but the work that you would need to do was extensive, and the idea alone sounded exhausting. He was worth the work, but the knowledge that heartbreak was still such a huge possibility if you chose him was a major deterrent. It was not a lack of love that was driving you away, rather just your fear getting in the way once more. If it were any normal type of pain, you would be able to see past it, but heartbreak over Jake was entirely new type of pain that was worse than any other.

“That’s okay, Gold Dust Woman.” He assured you, but you saw a glisten of tears in his eye. It was gutting, and you had to look away to stop yourself from crying, too. “We tried our best, and that’s what matters.” He cleared his throat, trying to cover the quiver in his voice, but you noticed it more than you heard the words he was saying. “No matter if you’re with me or not, you are the fire that burns in my heart, y/n. It has been a privilege to love you, and I really hope that maybe I’ll get the chance to love you again someday.”

“Jake,” you pleaded for him to stop. Your heart could not take the weight of his grief, and you were certain if he continued, you would succumb to the temptation of loving him.

“I get to speak my mind, too.” He defended himself. “I love you so much, y/n. More than I ever thought I could, and I’m happy if you’re happy. Loving you has never been a selfish thing for me; I do it even knowing that it could hurt me, because your happiness is above everything else. I’m just grateful to have spent time with you at all.”

“I love you, Jake.” You said, reaching out for his hand that was resting on the table. “I keep thinking that things would be easier if we did this the right way, but there is no right way, and it hurts no matter what I do. I’m trying to convince myself that it’s okay that this wasn’t for us, but it kills me. I wanted it for us so badly, but sometimes things just don’t work out.”

“I know, angel.” He said, running his thumb over the back of your hand. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“Can we… just wait until we’re back at the venue? One last date, in love and happy.” You asked, but it was more like begging. You could bear the weight of the separation yet, and you would do anything to delay the inevitable.

“You don’t look very happy, baby.” He said, reaching across the table and swiping a tear away with his free hand. You closed your eyes, fighting back a sob as he held your face in his hand.

“I’m with you, so of course I am.” You breathed, but more tears fell just from speaking the lie of happiness.

“Come on, beautiful. Look at me.” He said, voice so quiet that it barely broke through the air of misery. You did as he wanted, eyes opening only to be met with his own saddened face. “Dates are supposed to be fun, there’s no need for tears.” His comfort served little purpose, because there was one falling down his own cheek as he tried to calm you. You lifted your hand, settling it atop of the one he had on your cheek. You managed a small smile through the mess of tears, uncaring for the public display of emotion.

“You’re right,” you sniffled, nodding your head. You wiped your face clean, taking a breath to calm yourself down. “Dates are meant to be fun.”

“So much for friends,” he chuckled, wiping his own cheek free of tears.

“I told you, we sucked at it anyway.”

“We did.” He agreed. “Destined to be lovers, stuck being friends.” He attempted to make the joke, but the reality of his words was harsh. You took another drink of coffee, hoping the beverage would warm your soul and give you the energy to make it through the day.

You both got lost in small chatter, ignoring the outside world and choosing to remain in the little comfortable bubble you had created in the cafe. Inside, nothing could hurt. At that table, you were free to love each other forever and never have to worry about stopping. Outside, the cold world would put an end to the relationship you had worked so hard to save. You wished you could stay in the cafe until the end of time, with Jake and away from any other worldly trouble, but it was just not plausible. Eventually, when both of your phones began to ring, you knew you had to move on and let go. Letting go was the hardest part of living, but you knew you had to face it sooner or later. You could only hope that when the storm cleared you could both move on and better yourselves from the mistakes you had made with each other, but the thought of learning from your mistakes with Jake only to use the lessons with another was sickening. As much as you knew that you needed to, letting him walk away was terrifying, and the thought of him loving another was gut wrenching.

When it came time to leave, you both were dragging your feet walking out the door. With his hand in yours, you began the slowest walk of your life, using a snails pace to avoid the inevitable end that came with your arrival. The building came into view like a grim foreshadowing of the future. Before your reached the door, you had to stop him in hopes of savouring one more moment of peace. You turned to face him, hand still resting in his own as you tried to catch his eye. His gaze seemed glued to the ground, fearful of looking up at you in case you caught sight of his weakness. “I love you, Jake.” You whispered, snaking your arm around his neck. He pulled you into him by your hip, so close to your face that your noses were brushing together.

“You could take any type of love, multiply by a million, and you still would only have a glimpse of how I feel about you.” Your heart was shattered, all of the pieces lying sharp in your chest and stabbing into you with every breath you took. You leaned forward, kissing him softly as a show of affection, but also as an apology for the pain you caused. For a few beautiful seconds the world seemed right, but as always, it had to come to and end. He placed another soft kiss to your lips, just like rubbing salt in a wound. “I’ll always be here, Gold Dust Woman. If you ever change your mind… I’m here.”

“You’ve always been too good for this world, Jake. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be more for you.” He shook his head, face still unbearably close to your own.

“You are everything, angel.” He corrected, not willing to accept any slander towards you. “In another world, you and I are happy together. Just because it’s not this one doesn’t mean that you aren’t enough for me. Maybe you’re just too much, and I don’t know how to appreciate all of it yet.” He leaned up and pressed a kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment too long. He had to force himself away from you, knowing that it was doing nothing but hurting you both more. “Thank you for everything, y/n. These last few months have been so amazing, and it’s all because of you.”

“Thank you, Jake. You have no idea how much you’ve done for me.” He gave a tight lipped smile and a curt nod, knowing he shouldn’t continue feeding into the conversation, but wanting it more than anything.

“Here’s to being friends, Gold Dust Woman.”

“To being friends,” you let out a shaky breath, feeling the tears begging to make a return. You both let your stare linger for a moment longer before you eventually took a step towards the building. He watched you walk away, desperate for you to stay but unable to muster the courage to say it. He knew the most amicable thing was to let you go, but it was horrendous for him knowing that once you walked through that door, you would never be his again.

You nearly broke down the door with the strength you used to open it, tears flooding your cheeks once again as you walked towards your dressing room. As you stepped inside, you managed to stop your sobs just enough to catch your breath. Unfortunately for you, it was not enough to evade the questions of the person who took post in your room, waiting for your return.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” You looked up, shock and sadness written all over you with no way to hide it. As if the universe was playing a trick, another violent lesson after your months of nothing but learning, Sam was sat on your couch, looking up at you with major concern.

“Fuck, Sam.” You swore, wiping your face free of the mascara stains. “You scared me.” That was not what you truly wanted to say; in fact, you wanted to send him away and cry in solitude, to tend to your wounds without an audience, but you thought that maybe his comfort was exactly what you needed. The rainbow shining after the storm, sitting on your couch waiting for you just to prove that life could still be beautiful despite the pain.

“Sorry, Princess. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” you shook your head, taking a step towards him. “It’s okay, I’m okay, everything is okay.” You promised, but you were trying to convince yourself of the fact more than anything else. “I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been trying to find the time to talk to you all day.” You chuckled, shaking your head at the days events.

“Well, I’m here now.” He assured you, standing to meet you. He reached out, drawing you in to him with an open arm and an invitation. You gravitated towards him, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. He responded with the same energy, holding you tightly and revelling in the warmth of your touch. You settled your head on his chest, taking a deep breath to relax your mind. In his arms, it felt like the war was over; you had won, and it was time to go home and rest. “Oh, I got you a coffee. I heard you were here early this morning, so I figured you didn’t have time to stop and grab one for yourself.” He said, pulling back from you only slightly. Your heart warmed at his words, comforted by the idea of him thinking of you.

“Thank you, Sammy.” You smiled, already feeling the pain begin to melt away.

“Oh, and congratulations on the interview.” He grinned, reaching behind him to grab the cup sitting on the table. “I know we’re supposed to be keeping our distance, but I just had to come and see you. Being on the cover of Guitar World is a huge deal, and I’m so happy for you.”

“It’s okay, I’m happy you’re here.” You assured him, feeling your heart speed as you prepared to confess all of the things you had been waiting to tell him.

“Me, too.” He smiled, handing you the coffee that was still hot. “I’m always happy to see you.” You closed your eyes, letting the cup warm your hands as you mustered the courage to speak. Before you said a word, you brought the lid to your lips and took a long sip of the beverage. As you swallowed it down, you almost grimaced at the taste, immediately looking down at the lid. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I couldn’t remember how you liked it, so I got some cream and sugar on the side.” He said, suddenly recalling the bag of items that was also laying on the table.

You felt frozen, your eyes stuck on the lid marked with nothing but a big, bold red flag. The blood drained from your face, leaving you pale while dread seeped in to take its place. The interaction, although small, spoke louder than anything had before. A flash of memories took over you, recalling all of the coffee cups presented to you from Jake in the past, all marked with hearts and smiles, and the exact order that you would have had if you bought it yourself. You thought you might be sick, your stomach churning with unease and anxiety as you continued to stare down at the cup in your hands. The interaction was earth-shattering, making it obvious to you of one horrific thing; Sam knew you, and that was true, but just not enough. After months of dates at cafe’s and restaurants, he couldn’t seem to remember the simplest of things, and for some reason, the fact was abhorrent for you to choke down.

Sam knew you, but he did not know you as well as Jake did, and after all of this time, he was still not the one for you.

You had spent so much of your life wishing that Sam would notice you, that he would suddenly become the person you had always hoped he could be, but it was all too much to ask of him. All of those months ago, the euphoria of finally hearing that he cared about you the same as you felt about him seemed to overshadow the reality of the situation. Your love for Sam had clouded your judgement in the worst way possible, so much so that you had put him in a pedestal and opted to ignore every flaw and red flag, just so you could continue viewing him as this perfect person you had created in your mind. If Sam wanted you so badly, he would have cared enough to notice how bad you wanted him. He would have taken the step, crushed the fear of rejection and loss so he could have his chance to be with you, but he did not. He waited until the very last second to speak, until you were emotionally vulnerable and unable to see the difference. Sam loved you, and you loved him, but it was never enough to make the difference. If Sam was meant to be with you, the universe would have allowed it long before now, and it never would have sacrificed Jake in the process.

As much as you hoped Sam was the one, he was not, and your former self wept for the person you wished he could be. You were such a fool for Sam that you disregarded every warning the higher powers had been trying to show you. Jake making his move on you that night was not a cruel trick, nor a joke made by the universe to laugh at your struggle. It was a sign and even more so, a reminder that if Sam was meant to be yours, he would be. It was the universe begging for you to move on, to actually see the world you had been missing out on due to your blind loyalty to someone who refused to notice you. Jake approached you that night because he loved you wholly and selflessly, the same way you had been loving his brother. He took the chance despite knowing you were foolishly in love with someone else, and he did it with strength and courage, even if he knew he was bound to lose sooner or later.

Choosing Sam was not a way to avoid heartbreak; it was only the beginning of a lifelong struggle with what-if’s. Sam had the opportunity to love you for years, but never managed to take the leap. Jake loved you so much and so quietly that it killed him, and when he finally understood he couldn’t just stop loving you, he found the courage to confess despite his own fear of vulnerability. By choosing Sam, you would only be admitting to your inability to grow and change, and you wouldn’t be facing up to any fears that you had been trying so hard to conquer. Loving Jake had risk, but real love always did, and he was more than worth the risk. If you truly grew as much as you believed you did, you would have recognized that your fear was for good reason, but nothing close to what you previously thought it was; you weren’t scared of Jake breaking your heart, you were afraid of losing the only person in the world you had ever genuinely loved with every single part of you. It was not a fear of hurt, rather a fear of failure, but in that moment, you knew you loved Jake enough to make anything work. Failure wasn’t an option, because you would die before losing him.

As you sat, staring at the coffee in your hands, you challenged every single thing you had ever believed in. When you looked up at Sam, you knew that you had made a mistake. Sam was not your person, and he never would be, but you had already broken the heart that had sacrificed everything for you. With little hope and little faith, you knew you had to right your wrongs one last time, to atone for the sins you had been recklessly committing for weeks. You had already broken two hearts, and now you had to break a third before ever having a chance at peace. You knew you had to, but the struggle lied within finding the strength to do so. Your only solace was in the idea that you may still be able to salvage the relationship with Jake, and that after so much heartbreak, you might actually be able to mend two back together.

It was time to pick up the pieces and go home, and home was a person, this time, and not the one you previously thought it to be. Jake had always been home to you even if you failed to realize it, and your only hope was that home still had his heart open to you. If not, you wondered if you had the right words to get Jake to find room in his life again for a Gold Dust Woman, because his Gold Dust Woman was more than ready to love him for the rest of her life.

pale shadow of a woman, black widow, pale shadow of a dragon, dust woman

haven’t i always said that it’s not over until it’s over? ;)

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