#the inherent romance in breaking the fourth wall for your friend

[detective-piplup]

“hey piplup what are you doing to them”

nothing move on. listen okay we had to use all these aus somehow

[wangxianficfinder]

Holiday Compilation

~*~

💙A forgotten pair of gloves by myhouseofstoneyourivygrows (M, 43k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, LXC & NMJ, modern, anxiety attacks, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced past child abuse, hurt/comfort, light angst, yunmeng sibling dynamics, not Jiang clan friendly, chronic illness, adoption, fluff, happy ending, hopeful end for jiang sibs, Christmas) — this fic has unfortunately been deleted

with peaceful wings unfurled by sunflowersfield (T, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, Christmas, College/University, Fluff, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, (Lan Qiren passes away before the story begins), Grief/Mourning, First Dates, First Kiss)

Close to the Truth by Winglesss (M, 14k, WangXian, Modern AU, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Romantic Comedy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Tooth-Rotting Fluff)

he gets under your skin by Skadiseven (M, 87k, WangXian, Inspired By While You Were Sleeping (1995), Modern AU, Accidental Engagement, Chicago (City), wangxian's tendency to self-sacrifice, Christmas, Mutual Pining, There's A LOT of Musical References, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Do You Feel What I Feel? by istartedtheapocalypse (M, 33k, WangXian, Modern AU, Kid Fic, kid fic ish, wangxian in a hallmark christmas movie but hornier, and with slightly more plot and angst, the background XiYao has lighter than canon levels of toxicity but it is still a lil toxic, Holidays, Christmas)

The Maine Thing (Is That You Send A Card) by Comfect (T, 16k, WangXian, Modern AU, Romance, Excessive Use of Rom-Com Tropes, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, Meet-Cute, Snowed In, Slow Burn, But Not That Slow A Burn, finding yourself, Cozy, Libraries)

A Very Hallmark Untamed Christmas by User_Shay_Wade (M, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Small Town, Attempt at Humor, Reference to anal sex, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies)

hurry down my chimney tonight by gusuvibes (G, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, dad!lwj, WWX and JC are Santa's Elves, Holiday Setting, A-Yuan is too smart for his own good, Fluff and Humor, NHS is a pimp, but not literally, Happy Ending, Surprise Santas, Christmas)

The Mistletoe Virgin by Vamillepudding (G, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Romantic Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Deaf LWH, Christmas)

💖 sweet chaos by eachandeverydimension (G, 86k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Romance, Light Angst, Falling In Love, Different First Meeting, Qīnghéng-jūn's A+ Parenting, Night Hunts, Chinese Language, Good Sibling LXC, Good Sibling JYL, POV LWJ, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Chinese Culture, Slow Burn, No Homophobia AU, Chinese festivals)

"Congratulations, Get Rich" by Attila (T, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, Chinese New Year, sibling shenanigans, Dumbasses, Humor)

An Accurate (Anachronic) Jianghu Christmas Carol by Mikkeneko (T, 7k, Minor WangXian, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Crack, Christmas Crack, Breaking the Fourth Wall) - Dickens fusion; a lot of the fun comes from the MDZS characters remaining stubbornly themselves while shoehorned into the Christmas Carol roles, and lampshading the incompatibility of the crossover—and the author reminds us of the inherent hilarity of Dickens’ original prose

Cornday by Lan_zhans, WangXianPatriarch (T, 2k, WangXian, Pining WWX, Fluff, Tickling, Teasing, Flirting, Halloween, POV Alternating, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon) - WWX’s birthday plans are disrupted by a night hunt that involves chasing a haunted scarecrow through a maize field

Tips on Rabbit Husbandry by Full_Metal_Ox (G, 329, WangXian, Fluff, Rabbits, Extended Metaphors, Animal Metaphors, Easter (?)) - posted on Easter Sunday 2019; pet rabbit care as an extended metaphor for Wangxian’s relationship

Praying for Cleverness by x_los (G, 3k, WangXian, Female WWX, Qixi, Gender Changes, Always a Different Sex, Accidental Marriage, Marriage, Festivals, Holidays, Awkwardness, Fist Fights, Pining, Crushes, Sisters, Episode 7)

definitions of home by sasamelons (G, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern: No Powers, Childhood Friends, Growing Up, Diaspora, Parent-Child Relationship, Sibling Bonding, Chinese New Year, Chinese Food, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Family Fluff, Family Feels)

what part of party don't you understand by wildwestwind (T, 1k, WangXianNing, Modern AU, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Cultural Differences, Trans Female WWX, Kid Fic)

Wish on a Dandelion by Cupids_arrow (G, 5k, XiCheng, WangXian, Modern AU, Qixi, Established Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, First Dates, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sad and Sweet, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff)

if nothing else (let's dance under the stars) by EllaYuki (G, 865, WangXian, Qixi, Fluff, Post-Canon, LWJ POV)

Preparing the Soil by Rynne (T, 26k, wangxian, post-canon, established relationship, family issues, Chinese holidays, Chinese New Year, not JC friendly)

A Flower in Bloom (or Wei Wuxian Crashes a Party) by UmbrellaMartialGod (E, 30k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Crossdressing, Humor, Fluff and Smut, Established Relationship, Festivals, Dancer WWX, Insecurity, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Porn with Feelings, mild possessive behavior, New Year)

Let Food Be Your Medicine by bigolegay (M, 9k, WangXian, mid-autumn festival, Baking, Food as a Metaphor for Love, WWX centric, Minor Original Character(s), mooncakes, Caiyi Town, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Kissing, Food as a Vessel for Grief, JYL in flashbacks/thoughts) - Mid-Autumn Festival; WWX, wishing to present LWJ with lotus seed cakes, learns mooncake-making from Gusu villagers; a lengthy exercise in Food Porn, with detailed descriptions of the cooking process

藕断丝连 by RoseThorne (G, 458, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, Grief/Mourning, Memory Loss, Memories, POV Third Person, POV LSZ, Rituals, lotuses, Qingming Festival)

Christmas Star by LadyVamp (E, 45k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, Modern AU, Romance, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, Christmas Fluff, Romantic Comedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, Misunderstandings, Happy JC, Eventual Smut)

To heal and nurture by Aki_no_hikari (G, 11k, wangxian, post-canon, memories, married couple, fluff, festivals, healing, light angst, TGCF Crossover, fictional village harvest festival in honor of Yushi Huang, probably amounting to Mid-Autumn Festival)

WangXian Christmas Stories by @mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess

see you yesterday by glyphic (M, 138k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern with Magic, Ghost Hunters, Time Loop, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Halloween)

5 TOTALLY TRUE STORIES OF THE YILING PATRIARCH TO TURN YOUR HAIR WHITE!!!!! (and one story that actually happened) by dragonofeternal (T, 2k, LSZ & WWX, Parody, Crack, Listicle, slander, 5+1 Things, Fluff, Ghosts, Hungry Ghost Festival in the +1)

merry christmas ya filthy animal by belovedmuerto (T, 7k, XuanLi, WangXian, Modern AU, Family, Southern California, Christmas)

The Joy of Storytelling / 桃花運 by Irrelevancy (G, 4k, Songxiao; modern AU, Kid Fic, Daycare, Qixi, Mutual Pining, single dad!SL, canonically horrible storytelling XXC)

Qingming by hanbunnotsuki (G, 2k, WangXian, Traditions, Qingming festival)

clear and bright | 清明 by queerebrum (G, 1k, JingZhen, Qingming Festival, Post-Canon, Orphans, Public Display of Affection, Grief/Mourning, these tags are scary, i promise it's soft)

覆水难收 (spilled water cannot be reclaimed) by fieryrondo (T, 3k, JC & WWX, grief/mourning, canonical character death, 2nd person pov, musical instruments, character study, JC centric, Qingming, Hungry Ghost Festival)

if you sing deck the halls one more time i'll deck your face by lao_you_tiao (T, 1k, 3zun, JC, JL, and WWX, modern, fluff & humor, Christmas)

Trash_Candy_XU’s whole MDZS tag is a series of holiday shortfics following Wangxian through the 2020 calendar: character birthdays as well as both Chinese and Western holidays.

The Gift Exchange by tellthemstories (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, modern cultivator au, they’re all teachers, gift exchanges, Denial of Feelings, everyone knows, Christmas)

Harvest Festival Times Two by theleakypen (G, 2k, Wens & WWX, MXY & WWX, MM & WWX, Modern AU, New York City, technically also a college au but that barely matters, Sukkot | Tabernacles, mid-autumn festival, Extended Families, Synagogue-Assigned Party Guests, Chinese Jewish Characters, Best Friends, Background Relationships) - diasporic Chinese Jewish Wen Remnants host a joint Sukkot/Mid-Autumn Festival

a good night | full heart full belly by frostferox (G, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hanukkah, Wangxian adopts MXY)

Reclamation (where you can see the glow) by theLoyalRoyalGuard (G, 3k, LXC & LWJ, Post-Canon, Hanukkah, fluff and feelings, Family Feels) - the Twin Jades, going through their mother’s effects, learn that she was Jewish

The Fellow-Travelers by Val Mora (valmora) (G, 944, Slice of Life, written for Hanukkah) - SL and XXC are invited to share a campfire by some traveling OC Jewish mystics (who use the terms “Dao” and “cultivators” in a code-switching sense

Summer's End by flowercity (FaoriE) (M, 3k, WangXian, Fae & Fairies, Mutual Pining, Wet Dream, very vaguely described, Samhain, birthday fic)

sweet as the winter sun by Joythea (G, 1k, WangXian, Fluff, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Secret Santa, Winter Solstice, Domestic Fluff, Post-Canon Fluff, Making Tangyuan together, Eating Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff)

Fun With The Easter Bunny by WangXian4Ever77 (E, 4k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, LWJ as the Easter Bunny, Easter Egg Hunt, tail pulling, Butt Squeezing, Annoyed Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny Kink, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Rabbit Puns, sneaky WWX, Playful Lying, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Kissing, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex)

Sisters of the Moon by honeylotus (E, 9k, WangXian, Semi-Public Sex, Fix-It of Sorts, Fisting, f/f Wangxian, Winter Solstice (Wiccan/Pagan))

yeh ladka hai allah by teorusu (G, 18k, WangXian, Modern AU, Islam, Islamic References, muslims in omegaverse, A/B/O Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Misunderstandings, Omega LWJ, Alpha WWX, contrary to popular belief : this is sfw, Banter, Scenting, Fluff, Eid, Ramadan)

We Wish You A Logical Christmas by little_ogre (M, 9k, WangXian, Star Trek AU, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Going to Vulcan for Christmas, WWX is Vulcan, LWJ is human, what could go wrong, Pon Farr)

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Lan JingYi by DragonsPhoenix (G, <1k, LJY, linus van Pelt, Peanuts crossover, developing friendship, halloween, Great Pumpkin)

A Koi Tower Christmas by East_Of_Akkala, glitterlessgold490 (T, 14k, WIP, MM/QS, XuanLi, Modern AU, POV MY, POV MXY, POV QS, POV JZX, MXY has ADHD, Sugar gliders, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Humor, Crack and Angst, Child JL, holiday parties, Himbo JZX, Most of the Trigger Warnings in This Story are JGS, Past Infidelity, Ableism, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Christmas)

Tofurkey Day by East_Of_Akkala & glitterlessgold490 (T, 10k, LXC/JGY, LXC/NMJ, pre-3zun, wangxian, modern, diasporic AU, humor, crack, polyamory, secret relationship, brotherly love, sibling dynamics of all sorts, WWX has ADHD, autistic LWJ, smart NHS, Thanksgiving (U.S.) ) Extended family Thanksgiving dinner at the Lans’, with personality, dietary, and political clashes, little kids, pets running amuck, and the characters being themselves Up To Eleven.

Ornaments Under the Stars by trippednfell (M, 6k, wangxian, modern, inspired by hallmark christmas movies, kid fic, disabled character, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, WIP)

I Want to Spend this Christmas with You! by cheese_fish (G, 4k, wangxian, modern, christmas, fluff)

another ghost walks down the hall by isshun (G, 2k, wangxian, modern, hurt/comfort, Hungry Ghost Festival, Chinese rites & rituals)

forever can never be long enough for me by isshun (T, 12k, LWJ & JYL, wangxian, modern, established relationship, food as a metaphor for love, Winter Solstice (Dongzhi), hurt/comfort, bonding, loving WWX hours)

Five Shades of Home by DrPanda99 (G, 13k, WangXian, Chinese New Year, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, Hurt/Comfort, Homecoming, WWX's Canonical Self-Esteem Issues, Domesticity, Yunmeng Brothers Reconciliation, (or at least the start of it), Good Uncle LQR, Post-Canon)

The Nines of Winter by ArcadianMaggie (E, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, Dongzhi, Snowed In, Sharing a Bed, Hot Cocoa, Getting Back Together, home for the holidays, Puppy rescue, Panic Attacks, LWJ's Pet Rabbits, maybe just a tiny bit of angst, Fluff and Smut, and family feels, Hand Jobs, Kissing, First Time)

Make My Wish Come True by justpeace (T, 9k, wangxian, modern cultivation, gender changes, fem wangxian, Christmas, fake/pretend relationship, sharing a bed, case fic, getting together, angst, butch LWJ)

Fall in Love with me this Christmas by Bldreaming (Not Rated, 24k, WangXian, Modern AU, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas wedding, JYL Lives, Good Sibling JYL, JYL and JZX Live, Married XuanLi, man of honor wwx, Best woman Minamian, Reunions, Fluff and Smut, Secret Santa, Sexting, Phone Sex Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, not a slow burn, Winter Wonderland, Yanli loves christmas, Christmas Music, Christmas Presents, Christmas, Smut Getting Together, First Love) - implied/referenced switching during phone sex

~*~

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Between the Needleclaw or Rootspring ship, to put a random hat in the ring since I forgor to vote (I still have yet to update my tumblr app to add polls… )I really enjoy the idea of with Bristlefrost always saving Rootspring that their relationship remains platonic, something, something, saving someone’s life and caring about them does not equal romantic love. And the two have a good bond, while Bristlefrost falls in love with Needleclaw

And not really arguing either way with this next point but, also good to see how the characters respective arcs would have the ship work best

Ie: Bristlefrost- what life theoretically would allow her to not be as people pleasing

Rootspring- what life would have him being true to himself and not just what is expected of him.

Needleclaw- i am unsure of the exact themes and arcs it takes other than the mention of her intense warrior training since she doesn’t wanna be a hunter.

And really all these themes can be taken narratively but also meta narratively. (Okay back on NeedleBristle again) but it would be expected that Rootspring being saved by Bristleforst and him helping her would HAVE to create a romance,, they’re meant for each other, so them not getting together if his arc also almost breaking the fourth wall for those who know those sort of tropes.. and it being neat with both getting bond moments that Bristlefrost maybe falls for simpler moments with Needleclaw.

Another thing, that is quite fun, but dependent on the arcs but there there could be a brief ultimately failed attempt at a romance between one of the two that isn’t the ‘final pair”, Bristlefrost’s people pleasing briefly trying to make a romance work that is not a good fit for them.

I cannot remember how the Bristle and Root meet but if it is her saving him (and even with most) there could be a dichotomy with Root and Bristle’s first meeting being chaotic, while Bristle and Needle’s would be more chill.

Woag it would fit in with her arc, and the connection of a chaotic life not being inherently bad but ultimately not being what she needs.

Uhh hope this makes some sense, some exact details escape me since I haven’t read the books themselves in ages,

I wanna address several things you said because this ask is a Sunday Roast and I am hungry./pos

1. HOW OUTDATED IS YOUR APP?! We've had polls for so long now, my jaw hit the floor with that! Mind you I'm just as bad with some apps like YouTube and Spotify (And my NewPipe YouTube mod) but woah nelly, your Tumblr app has grown a beard!

2. Bristlefrost risking her life to save Root, only to later on fall in love with his cute, sassy sister? Is a very funny thought! Poor girl has isolated herself (Bramblefake did not do her any favors either) and doesn't have many friends, so being incredibly close friends with Root and Shadow would be very good for her. It also keeps the "povs aren't dating" thing I've had going unintentionally since TNP. I can see Rootspring having a crush on Bris, because she is quite kind and easy to love, but it fading out into a proper friendship.

3. Their Arcs and Themes. You're completely correct on that one! Rootspring learning to calm down and not live up to expectations, while also learning to enjoy the life he's got, Bristlefrost learning to stand on her own feet and not be desperate for approval, and while Needleclaw's wasn't the most mentioned, it amounts to:

"You're not a bad person for not having an end goal, but only ever living in the present is going to leave you unprepared when the future comes."

WCR!Needleclaw is going to learn a lesson I had to learn. Live for the present, but plan for the future.

Also, communicate when people hurt your feelings, you do not have to be the 'chill cool girl' 24/7 you silly lesbian.

Her intense training is out of desperate desire to be seen as different, she knows that battle is a risk for a deaf cat, if a retreat is verbally called, she won't hear it, she'll need assistance. While she has no insecurities about BEING deaf, she wants to "prove" herself as worthy of being a strong warrior like grandpa Hawkwing.

It doesn't help that 3 family members were members of the Kin. Daddy Tree, Mama Zelda, and great grandpa Sharpclaw were all Kin members at one point, and the Clans still feel the pain. Tree having been a loner before, then being part of the Sisters, is especially not helping. Sure, majority of Skyclan is accepting out outsiders, but Kite and Turtle can be quite mean. Times are changing.

4. The 4th wall is getting also HEAVILY leaned on in TBC. Like... HEAVY. (Btw yes that is how they met!) This arc ends up being quite "meta" in retrospect, especially with the other 3 arcs, Dark Times, and Beyond The Stars Sunlight/Moonlight.

I'm gonna put Bristlefrost's Ending "storyboard" below a spoiler cut. But first...

Yeah, her meeting Rootpaw is in a split second decision of heroism and chaos, life and death stakes! It gave them BOTH a small cold, and I imagine that is their initial bond... Warming up in the Medicine Den together and sneezing in sync. (Also Rootpaw making a self discovery in between wiping her nose and laughing at Briarlight's silly antics.)

Then she meets Needle and shares a bowl of Clan Soup with her while Needlepaw scratches Glyphs into the ground to tell Bristlepaw that she hopes she passes her test soon while Mistystar announces Curlfeather's babies having just been born.

Bristlefrost is a character who means a lot to me, and left me wanting more. Her final scene in Alitm brings prickling tears to my eyes, even worse when Rootspring can still feel her there, the memory of what was supposed to be... There's a reason I have her theme set to No Surprises by Radiohead (and it's even gentler done cover by Juliana Chahayed). She deserves a very quiet, settled life after the trauma of being Bramblefake's deputy and part of the Thunder Rebellion, same as Violetshine and Dovewing tee bee aych.

Anyways... The thing about her disappearance.

Spoilers!

Bristlefrost notices that Ashfur has survived what should have been a killing blow from Squilf.

He looks at her, and winks as he stalks off into the shadows, near the growing lake of dark water that the author hasn't given an alternate spooOOOooky name to yet.

Anyways, she gathers up all the strength I'm her back legs, and pounces at him. She slams full-force into Ashfur, the two of them tumbling into the black lake...

She pushes him down, biting and kicking her back legs into him. She feels him fade away between her paws, and feels a cold, heavy weight...

She flips over, and can vaguely hear shouting from above... Are they arguing? Why? She did the right thing, didn't she? She sees her mothers faces, the two look horrified. She hears Rootspring and Needleclaw screaming for her, the other Lights in the Mist are all calling out for her but... She's so tired...

She hears a swirl of water.

Looking to her right is... Another version of her? She looks... Different. More like Fernsong. Her fur is pure gray, her eyes a different shade but... That's Her. The Other Her is beginning to drown, and panic.

Using her strength, Bristlefrost swims over to the other one, holding her from behind.

"You're safe. You're fine. You're home with everyone you love." She thinks as hard as she can, mouthing it against her own ear. "The one you love, loves you back. You have a family together. You die old, and loved by all."

Feeling her oxygen running out, Bristlefrost holds The Other Her tighter, the cat beginning to relax.

"Everyone is safe now. You're going to die at peace. Not scared and cold... Only Warmth. Only Love."

The other Bristlefrost fades away... A shining light overtakes this Bristlefrost, deeper down at the bottom of the lake... Calling her even deeper. Her air runs out.

She swims towards the light.

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Just A Natural Fact

Request: hii I was wondering if I could request a marauders sirius black x reader where sirius black, the reckless & loud marauder, has a soft spot for the kind & responsible reader. sirius' duality is thus teased by sirius' best friends until they too get to know her throughout the school years; amidst the slow-burn flirting & maturity, the rest of the marauders realize the the two of them balance each other perfectly & they too appreciate the reader's character & love for sirius. thx if you can! ♡ - @thisismiku​

A/N: Title - Paula Abdul - Opposites Attract. Thank you so much for sending in this request, I truly hope you like it and that I’ve done it justice. And I hope you don't mind but I’ve combined with my prompt for @dreamer821​ ‘s writing challenge. Congratulations, JJ - you deserve all 500 followers and more! The prompt I used is in bold! I’m feeling a little insecure about this fic if I’m being honest, I’m worried that it isn't the best that it could be so I’m so sorry if it isn't! Nevertheless, I do hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, immaturity, slow burn flirting/romance, sneaking out, fluff, bit of angst (but not a lot), use of she/her pronouns

Word count: 3.9k

First year:

It was hard not to miss the way Sirius Black climbed the stairs in the Great Hall to be sorted into his house.

It was hard not to miss the silence from his relatives at the Slytherin table when instead of Salazar’s house, he was sorted to into Godric’s.

Your sorting is over relatively quickly. Sorted into Gryffindor, you make your way to the table, sitting yourself next to the now silent Sirius Black. He picks at the food on his plate, not focused on the rest of the sorting until three boys he must recognise from the train, all sit with him.

“Are you okay?” You whisper. Glancing to your right, you see him nod once before plastering a smile across his young face, greeting the boys now sat with you.

They spend their first meal at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry laughing and joking as if they’re old friends catching up. You spend your first meal at the school silently worried for the boy next to you; wondering about the reaction from his parents.

From the sound of his laughter so close to your ear, it seemed that he was to make himself known to the house and your year group.

Sirius Black was very much your opposite in more ways than one. It would be a miracle if a friendship was formed.

Second year:

You begin to notice a pattern with Sirius Orion Black. He had made himself known already for being the class clown and prankster; acting aloof and reckless in the halls. He and his tight-knit group of friends had their targets for their pranks.

His personality was amped up to the maximum whenever he received a letter over breakfast. It didn’t happen often; once a month and you knew that it was from his parents. For a moment after reading, he would watch the table in silence, taking in the words that were no doubt written to hurt.

Then his head would snap up; a wide grin forming, and you knew that the following week would be full of mayhem and the screams of students on the unfortunate end of their pranks.

Second Year continues much the same as the first. You’re determined to do well in your exams; you stick to your timetable and ensure that you’re ahead on assignments. You’ve settled into your friendship group well, though they would admit that they often worry how much time you spend in the library.

However, it has helped, by the end of Second Year, you’re tutoring others in Potions and Charms. It all goes on your transcripts, but you’re happy to help in any way you can.

But despite all of that, you wonder if you could help the young, long-haired Marauder.

Third year:

Third Year begins much the same as your Second. You settle back into your academic routine after taking the summer off to enjoy the sun and relax with your family and friends where every so often, your thoughts drifted to long-haired boy who garnered attention as if it was going out of fashion.

A change in seating plan has you sat next to Sirius Black in History of Magic. Professor Binns changes the seating plan at the beginning of every year to keep with school policy, but he never truly enforces them so it’s odd that Sirius chooses to remain in his spot next to you.

You try not to think too much of it; focusing on the work each lesson, quill scratching away at your parchment as you note down facts on the Goblin Rebellions of the seventeenth century.

Sirius focuses for a while as well; making the odd note here and there until a wad of paper hits his face. Thrown by his friend James Potter, no doubt, as you hear his laughter from across the room. Sirius loses all focus then; instead, throwing the ball of paper between his hands for a minute before launching it back across the classroom.

It continues like that for most of the lesson, until the ball of paper is caught by Remus Lupin who smacks James on the shoulder. Remus doesn’t say anything, he rolls his eyes at James’ hurt expression before returning to his work.

A quiet voice interrupts your watching of the scene, “I hope we didn’t distract you.”

You respond just as quietly, “You didn’t.”

He smiles, “Good. I’d hate to pull you from your notes.”

From there, Sirius spoke to you more often. Greeting you in the Great Hall every morning, grabbing your attention in class. The Marauders would chuckle at him; not understanding his sudden need to be around you.

Every morning in the Great Hall, Sirius would receive a swift elbow to the ribs from James who would nod towards the entrance where you would linger for a moment before walking to your seat at the table. “You can relax now, Sirius. (Y/N) is here.”

Sirius’ head would snap up at the mention of your name. He smiles at you as you take your seat among your friends. One of your friends nudges your side, pointing down to where Sirius sits, whispering something in your ear. You roll your eyes at her before waving to Sirius.

A slow friendship begins to emerge; he’d seek you out in the library, sitting with you quietly as you studied. You would search him out in every class you shared, catching his eye with a smile which he returned toothily.

The friendship was new; you were still getting to know each other. The time you spent together was filled with whispered conversation about childhoods and hobbies. He’d sit and listen to your stories with a smile on his face; happy to get to know you inside out. There was something so inherently good about you – he felt drawn to your nature.

Remus approaches Sirius in the Gryffindor common room one evening. He couldn’t understand why Sirius had sought you out to be friends. You were both so different; Sirius was hurtling down the route of becoming the school’s bad boy – all leather jackets and smoking by the Black Lake. You were the epitome of kindness walking down the straight path of good grades and heading towards being appointed Head Girl.

Remus sits next to Sirius on the couch, saying, “(Y/N) is a good person, Sirius; she’s kind and responsible.”

“I know that. What are you saying Moony?” Sirius asks, an eyebrow raised.

“I just want you to be careful.”

“I’m not going to hurt, (Y/N), Remus. I want to be her friend.”

“I can’t help but be concerned. You’re so different, Padfoot. You see that right?”

“I do, but that’s why we’re going to work.”

Fourth year:

From the beginning of fourth year, your friendship with the Marauders began in earnest. Your social groups blended into one, and you didn’t feel as intimated by them all as you once did. They weren’t as wary as they once were; they weren’t as worried as they once voiced to Sirius. You spent more and more time with Sirius; your kindness had earned you his trust and his walls slowly began to crumble. There was something so open about your face and so kind in your touch that he couldn’t help but fall under your spell.

--------

A hand on your shoulder drags you from your dream. Before you can scream, a hand covers your mouth and a familiar voice whispers, “Lumos.”

In the pale light from the wand, Sirius’ grey eyes meet yours. They’re red-rimmed, but he has a small smile on his face. He pulls his hand away from your mouth, whispering, “Come with me.”

You shake your head, replying just as quiet, “Sirius, it’s three in the morning.”

His shoulders shake with silent laughter, “Live a little, (Y/N).” He stands at the side of your bed, holding a hand out to you, “Come with me… please.”

And there is something so vulnerable in his expression that you take his hand, grabbing your jumper and pushing your feet into your slippers.

In the light of the common room, Sirius looks over your outfit, snickering at the sight of your bunny slippers. You glare at him, tapping your feet, “They’re my favourite slippers, Black. They’re called Norman and Leonard; I expect you to be respectful.”

Sirius covers his mouth with his free hand for his other one had not let you go yet. He stifles a laugh, “I’m sorry, I won’t laugh again. They’re very lovely.” His voice breaks on the last word, and you rip your hand from his.

“Sirius, I don’t sneak out, so if you woke me up to make fun of me then I’m going back to bed.”

“No, wait,” He reaches for your hand again; happiness flows through him when you let him take it, “Come with me please, I can’t sleep.”

“You promise not to make fun? I don’t do this, Sirius. I follow the rules for a reason.”

“I know but trust me on this.”

Sirius doesn’t let go of your hand as he leads you through the portrait hole and through the school to the astronomy tower. You have to walk faster to keep up with his long strides but keep up you do.

He doesn’t let go of your hand upon arriving at the astronomy tower; neither does he let go of it once he sits on the cold, concrete floor, pulling you down to sit next to him.

The coldness of the floor seeps through your thin cotton pyjamas. You shiver from the feel of it. Sirius doesn’t miss this; he’s shrugging off his jacket before your teeth can start chattering.

“Here, take this.”

You’re enveloped in his jacket; the sleeves far too long for your arms to fit comfortably. You wrap it around yourself, enjoying the residual warmth left over from his body but also committing to memory the smell that is so distinctly him: leather, cinnamon, cloves and a hint of tobacco.

You knock your foot against his leg, “What’s the matter?”

“What makes you think something is the matter?”

“It’s not like you to drag me out of bed so late into the night so something must be the matter.”

Sirius smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, “Like I said earlier, you need to live a little.”

You huff, rolling your eyes, “There’s nothing wrong with being responsible, Sirius.”

“No, you’re right.” He mutters, eyes focused on a spot far away in the distance.

Sirius falls into silence; his mind further away than his body. He breaks the silence a moment later, “I got another letter from my parents.”

You take Sirius’ hand in your own, “Oh, Sirius…”

“They’re being themselves – comparing me to Regulus as if I don’t already know he’s the better son. He’s a Slytherin, for Merlin’s sake.”

“It’s a shame.”

“What is?”

“That your parents never took the time to know you.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because they would see what a wonderful man you’re turning out to be.”

Sirius rests his head on top of yours, “Thank you,” he whispers, voice choked with emotion.

There were moments in your friendship with Sirius that he took your breath away with the sheer scale at which he was able to feel things. In times like this when he spoke about his family, his brother, and his fears, you’re shocked at the implicit trust he holds you in. You would never break this trust; you couldn’t, it’d go against every cell in your body to do so.

So many wonder how the friendship works; so many wonder how two people as opposite as you are could be so close friends. They don’t see moments like this where Sirius breaks down his walls and lets you in. They don’t see the moment where your kindness and fierce loyalty to your friends comes shining out of you as you listen to his words and wipe away his tears if needed.

They don’t need to see it. It’s for you and Sirius to experience with your hand in his and his head resting on yours.

In the morning, he’s calmer and he’s breathing easier than he was last night. He’s grateful to have you by his side; you calm him down – you help find sense in all the mess of his emotions. You remain patient as he stutters out his problems and you listen to each and every word. You’re kindness’ incarnate, he swears.

He drops a kiss to the top of your head before sitting next to you at the breakfast table. Sirius doesn’t miss the puzzled and amused looks from the rest of the Marauders; he shakes his head at them as he piles food onto his plate. They’re his closest friends in the world, and they tease him relentlessly for how he’s latched himself onto you, but he couldn’t be less bothered. They don’t need to understand the friendship, but he’s grateful that they accept you without too much question.

Fifth Year:

As fifth year begins, and the pressure from OWLs begins to mount, you start spending more and more time in the library. You study for everything; going over topics you’re confident on whilst also revising the topics you aren’t certain on whatsoever.

You revise a lot with Remus, him being a calming presence when studying as he explains subjects in such a way where the panic leeches from your body and you feel you finally have a grip on it. He’s a natural born teacher. 

Sirius joins you some of the time, but his confidence over the exams has you panicking more. So he would meet you in the common room after, pulling you to one side to quash any remaining fears that your studying had not resolved.

He would finish his speech with a kiss on your cheek or your forehead that had your body heating from the touch.

It was a physical friendship; it always had been. Neither you or Sirius were afraid to show your affection through a kiss on the cheek or a hug.

But lately those touches started to linger. His lips would rest on your cheek a second longer than they used to, and his arms would hold you that little bit tighter as if afraid of the minute where he would have to let you go.

Your own feelings had changed; you had given your heart to the long-haired Marauder without even realising it. Your eyes lingered on him longer, noticing things you hadn’t before – such as the way he always had a leather band wrapped around his wrist, to ties his hair up should he need to, or the way that his nose scrunched up before he started to laugh in earnest. Your heart stuttered in its beats whenever he laughed. Your heart was his to break should he wish.

You didn’t know that Sirius was feeling the same. He thinks he fell in love with that night in Fourth Year in the astronomy tower, but he didn’t realise it until half way through Fifth Year when you caught his eye across a classroom and smiled at him so widely that it knocked the very breath from him. He’d given you his heart and he didn’t even know he had.

There was something simmering under the surface of the both of you. It had the flirting becoming more and more noticeable to your friends and the Marauders. It had teachers wondering if you’d finally gotten your act together and confessed.

Your friendship with Sirius was on the verge of becoming something more. It was if you were both performing a balancing act. Each holding onto the other’s hand, teetering on the thin wire, wondering which way you’re destined to fall.

-----

“You’ve got six down wrong,” Sirius murmurs over your shoulder; mouth close to your ear.

You huff, reading over the crossword clue again, “I’m absolutely positive that it’s right.”

Sirius’ finger points to the clue, “It isn’t Plantagenet.”

You turn from where you lean against his side. Raising an eyebrow, you ask, “How do you know so much about muggle royalty and history?”

He taps the side of his head, “I just do, love.”

You snort, smiling, “I don’t believe you for a minute.”

Sirius shrugs with a chuckle, “Don’t. Let your crossword be wrong.”

You frown, looking back down at the crossword, thinking over the clue. It takes a minute before it clicks. You shove at his shoulder, “Sirius! The answer isn’t wrong!”

He laughs at the angry expression on your face. “Sirius, you’re such an arse.”

You make to move away from him; to sit further down the couch from him but he grabs your hand as you start to shift, pulling you back against him. You glare at him, but the glare soon melts at the happiness reflected in his grey eyes. You stare at each for a moment, unaware of the rest of the common room. The only thing you’re focused on is him and his grey, grey eyes.

-------

James, Remus, and Peter watch the scene unfold in front of them. You shove at Sirius’ shoulder with a shout, but Sirius grabs your hand, pulling you further into his side. You both look at each other; staring into each other’s eyes as if there isn’t an audience watching.

The trio watch the scene unfold, and they each have the same thought: they’re perfect for each other, and they’re blind to it.

Sixth year:

On a Monday morning halfway through Sixth Year, Remus, James and Peter sit next to Sirius in the Great Hall with the intention of getting him to figuratively pull his head out of his arse.

“When are you telling (Y/N) that you’re in love with her?” Remus greets; always blunt when needed.

Sirius chokes on his drink.

“It’s pretty obvious, mate.” James states to Sirius’ dismay.

“Do you think she knows?” He asks.

James shakes his head, “No, she doesn’t. Are you going to tell her though?”

“What if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“Not possible.” James states as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

“Yeah, we watch you together all the time. (Y/N) looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky for her or something. It’s intense to watch, honestly.” Remus says.

Sirius frowns, “I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“Sirius,” James sighs, “I don’t think you could even if you tried. We’ve all watched you for the last month or so and if we didn’t think you were perfect for each other before, we do now.”

“Yeah?” Sirius asks, so much vulnerability in that one word.

All three nod. Remus pats his shoulder, “Go talk to (Y/N).”

Sirius leaves his friends in the Great Hall, making his way through the rush of students desperate to get to their first lesson of the day. He knows he’ll find you in the common room; having the first lesson every Monday off as a free.

You’re sat on one of the many red leather couches that decorate the Gryffindor common room, pages of parchment in your hands as you read over your revision notes for your advanced classes. Sirius sits next to you on the couch; you immediately change your position to make room for him on the couch.

“I didn’t expect this,” You greet.

Sirius grins, “I missed you at breakfast, what can I say?”

You laugh, “You’re a flatterer, Black.”

In the quiet of the common room, you find your peace with Sirius. His very presence calming your mind but sending your heartbeat racing with a single look from the corner of his eye. You had become used to the way he affects you; how a smile can leave you breathless and a wink can leave your skin overheated.

“I can’t keep lying to you anymore, (Y/N).” Sirius states all of a sudden, voice breaking the silence.

“When have you lied to me, Sirius?” You ask, worry evident in your voice.

“Every day since fifth year.”

Your hand drops into your lap, “What?”

“With every touch, every kiss on the cheek. I lied through it all. I didn’t want friendship. I wanted more.”

“What do you mean, Sirius?”

“I’m in love with you. This isn’t a childish crush; I know I’m in love with you. Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break.” He says; eyes blazing, hands on either side of your face, tilting it up to look at him.

“It has only ever been yours,” Sirius repeats.

Your hands cover his as you reply, “Just as mine has only ever been yours.”

He gasps; lips parting as he stares down at you. “Do you mean it?”

You nod, “It has been for a while.”

You gaze into each other’s eyes, letting the euphoria of your confessions wash over you both. One of Sirius’ hands leaves your face to settle on your waist, pulling you that little bit closer to him. The silence is deafening; it’s charged with a heady electricity.

Sirius breaks it with a whispered question, “Can I kiss you?”

Your nod is the only answer before his lips envelop yours. He controls the kiss, throwing all emotion into it. He’s felt this way for so long and he’s finally getting to hold you in his arms with the passion he’s felt for so long. You smile into the kiss, and it almost drives him to the brink of madness with the way you’re responding to him.

You pull away breathless. Sirius peppers kisses all over your face – on your cheeks, on your nose, on your forehead. Wherever he can reach, he kisses because he’s so damned happy right now.

Sirius holds tightly to him, staring into your eyes. “I’ll love you until my very last breath, and even after. If there’s another life after this one, I’ll love you there as well.”

Tears line your eyes at the beauty of his words; at the fact that they’re being said to you. You sniffle, saying, “Sirius Black: a romantic who’d have thought?”

“I pour my heart to you; I kiss you and you make jokes? I see how it is, I’ve been a bad influence on you.”

“Poor baby,” You coo, beaming up at him.

“I am. I’m hurt and I think you should kiss it better.” He says, grinning wickedly.

“Anything to heal,” You quip, smirking.

Sirius pulls you back in for a bruising kiss; taking control the moment your lips touched. He pushes you further into the couch; his body weight feeling perfect on top of you. Your hands tangle in his hair, eliciting a low groan from the back of his throat at the slight pull of your hands.

For so long you had wanted this man. For so long you had yearned for this man who was so distinctly your opposite in every way. It shouldn’t work, but as his lips travel to your jawline, you realise that it does.

It works perfectly.

Seventh year:

From the outside, they’re a pair you wouldn’t necessarily put together. Sirius is loud, and he’s brash and sometimes he doesn’t think before he speaks, but around you – he quietens, as if the constant noise in his brain finally settles and he can think straight. You’re quiet, kind and responsible – always there to help people, but Sirius brings out a side of you that enjoys a little recklessness, even if that is sneaking out to watch the stars or to view the castle at night or to make out in one of the lesser travelled corridors.

You balance the other. You help him keep control of his emotions; he helps you come out of your shell a bit more.

Those outside the relationship don’t need to understand it; all they need to see is two ridiculously happy people, each with a depth-defying love for the other - and that’s a natural fact.

*******************

General (HP) taglist: @the-hufflefluffwriter​ @obsessedwithrandomthings​ @kalimagik​ @summer-writes​ @lupins-sweater​ @slytherinprincess03​ @mischiefsemimanaged​ @soleil-amaryllis​ @masterofthedarkness​ @bforbroadway​ @chaotic-fae-queen​ @peachesandpinks​ @nebulablakemurphy​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @siriusly-addicted-to-writing​ @firewhisky-kisses​ @deafgirltingz​ @kylosleftbuttcheek​ @heloisedaphnebrightmore​ @harrypotter289​ @sprvpti​ @accio-rogers​ @potterverseimagine​ @figlia--della--luna​ @angelinathebook​ @dreamer821​

Sirius Black taglist: @cheapglitter​ @fific7​ @approved-by-dentists​

[asterroidd]

sho the todorki

↬ pairing: shouto todoroki x reader

↬ synopsis: you like him, he likes you. the problem? sho's in the friend zone and so it's up to mina, the resident match maker, and company to give you guys a lil push.

alternatively: sho being a dork, hence the title

↬ warning/s: profanity lol, a lot of second hand embarrassment, two insufferable idiots, idk if this is too ooc of shouto but just take this dorky version of him

↬ note: a fic dedicated to @puredivinity​ that serves as a welcome gift for joining the sho simp club. luv u mara despite all the cursed images i send

    Class 3-A has four unspoken rules:

    Number one: never play music out loud beyond 8 pm (tried and tested by Denki himself, got blown up by Bakugo)

    Number two: don't leave your room at 2 am or a certain grape pervert would harass you

    Number three: refrain from mentioning crocs to Kirishima. Just don’t.

    And number four: never tell you or Shouto that both of you like each other (just for the sake of entertainment)

    It had become customary to not break these four rules or those who dare break it is rumored to have a thousand year duration of bad luck to be passed down generation after generation.

    That said, Mina was fed up with the mutual pining you and Shouto clearly exhibit. For two years she watched both of you shy and fluster with one another. His face beet red while you a fumbling mess. Truly a sight to behold. It was like watching a romance movie in real time, but without the stupid opening track. 

    At first she thought it was cute, it all started one morning during her first year in U.A. You forgot your jacket that day after waking up late and thus have to rush to get on time. Aizawa would have your head if you weren't there in homeroom. So in your idiocy and frantic state, you forgot most of the essential stuff and that includes, of course, a warm jacket.

    Mina watched as Shouto stared at you from across the room.  With tense shoulders as his gaze constantly drift from your form to his jacket. Her mouth curled upwards, interested with the current situation. It was not every day one could see the infamous Todoroki Shouto so nervous.

    She eagerly kept her attention on him, watching as Shouto got up from his seat and slowly made his way to you with shaky legs. Shouto, barely uttering a word, shoved his jacket to you and rushed back to his seat. At that moment, Mina already knew something was blossoming between you and him.

    And so it basically became her life mission to make sure you and Shouto end up with one another. She made the promise two years ago, and yet here you both were, two dorks that has a crush on each other but couldn't confess even if the world ends that very moment.

    Was it difficult to watch? Yes.

   It took all of Mina's entire being to not push his head into yours. She knows the consequences if one breaks the fourth rule. Two years had already pass and graduation is around the corner, she refuses to accept that both of you aren't a couple. As Class 3-A's resident cupid and match maker, she is more than determined to make sure you and him both end up together. Mina would not be inherently breaking rule number four, just gonna give you guys a lil' push with the help of a friend. And that friend is one that possesses an electrification quirk.

    "Okay, what do we tell (____) tomorrow?" Denki asked.

    Shouto looked over his written notes one last time before nodding and giving his answer, "I'll ask them if they want to have coffee."

    "Good! Make sure to?"

    "I'll make sure to keep eye contact and. . ." he halted, going over his notes once more. "And make sure that I'm smiling."

    Denki flashed him a grin. Clasping a hand around his shoulder and lightly patting it afterwards. "Now, don't forget the lesson I've taught you today. It is important that your date goes smoothly with (____)."

    Shouto eagerly nodded, stars dancing in his eyes. His heart clamored inside his chest, beating in a quick tempo comparable to that of allegro. Sweat accumulated on his palm, in which Shouto then hastily wiped it on his shirt. Despite nervousness bubbling inside his stomach, Shouto admits that he is excited to ask you out.  "Do you really think (____) and I would be a great couple?"

    "Of course, dude! Right, Mina?" Denki turned to his friend. She gave him two thumbs-up, giving fuel to Shouto's confidence for tomorrow's event.

    Now that Denki is done giving him an hour-long lesson about asking you out and things to do in a date, Mina was sure everything would go smooth as butter. Like, what could go wrong? Despite Shouto being a dork and foreign to the concept of love, he still has that natural charm that had some swooning for him.

    Though, she spoke all too soon.

    Mina facepalmed, dragging her palm across her face as Shouto stood frozen before you. She and Denki should've seen this coming.

    "(____)," he started, his voice cracking at the end. Suddenly the discoloration and grime in between the cracks of the wall looks interesting. He kept looking everywhere but you.

    You tilted your head to the side, "What's up, Sho?"

    Heavens above, Shouto loves that nickname.

    The male fiddles with the ends of his shirt, his tongue twisting and throat closing which makes it hard to speak. After class had ended, Shouto came up to you asking if he could talk to you somewhere private. He led you to the area behind the gym where no students are on sight. Well, that is except for Mina and Denki who closely followed behind to make sure Shouto wouldn't mess up his chance. The two stayed low, making sure they are well hidden behind the bush nearby.

   This was now the moment; the perfect chance for Shouto to ask you out after practicing his lines over and over again. It was a simple question: ‘Do you want to have coffee with me this weekend if you are free?”

   Should be easy enough right?

    "I- well- uhh. . ." he scratched the area behind his ear. "D-do you maybe want to free?"

    Shouto paled, he'd done messed up.

    "Wait that's wrong—" he took a deep breath. "Are you coffee this weekend?"

    Really? Really Shouto?

    "Shit— wait! Coffee this free??"

    Can someone take this lost child away?

    Denki bit his inner cheek, hands tugging his hair from second hand embarrassment. He had fate on him; had fate that Shouto had rehearsed enough the night before in asking you out. Guess he was wrong.

    "What do you mean by that?" you voiced out. You were beyond puzzled, unsure what to make of the situation. First he asks to speak with you in private, now he's a stuttering mess. Could it be that he's confessing? Asking you out?

    Your heart quickened at the thought. You were ready to say 'yes'.

    "What I mean is uhh. . ." Shouto wished he has his written notes. "Are you weekend for this coffee?"

    "YES!!" you shout without thinking.

    Wait, what? Hold up.

    "Aight, I'm forcing these two to kiss each other." Mina announced. That’s it. She lost hope for the both of you. You and Shouto need professional help. She adjusted her position, ready to get up and intervene. That is until Denki lay a heavy hand on her shoulder.

    "Wait," he motioned his head to you. Mina huffed, sitting down once more.

    "Sho. . ." you start, a soft smile on your face.

    "Y-yes?" damn, Shouto is such a stuttering mess.

    "Do you want to grab a coffee this weekend? I mean, if you are free?"

    He blinked, your words slowly being registered in his brain. There was a buffer, like an old computer processing 10 kilobyte worth of data. His brain was stuck on 78% in the progress bar. Then, it dawned on him; the cogs and gears turning. It took a full minute for Shouto to understand. "I-. . .I’d love to!" he managed to stutter out.

    Welp, at least that did the job. Denki and Mina released a sigh of relief. High-fiving each other despite the obvious fact that Shouto failed his task.

    But hey, beggars can't be choosers. All's well, ends well.

    You can't believe it.

    You have a date with Shouto. THE Todoroki Shouto. The guy you've had a crush on since your first year in UA. The one that swept you right off your feet the moment you laid your eyes on him. The friend that always had your back. With him struggling to ask you earlier, could it mean that he likes you more than a friend?

    You let out a squeal, pressing the pillow flush against your chest. In total, you've replayed the scene from memory for over fifty times already. You couldn't even concentrate in doing your homework. So you thought instead of doing your responsibilities, you opted to celebrate by screaming and running around your room in glee.

   It wasn't everyday you'd get a douse of serotonin.

   You’ve waited for this day since forever. Day dreaming about Shouto being your significant other; holding hands with him, wrapping your arms around his torso, and kissing his lips.

   The thought brought forth another pterodactyl squeal from you.

   Oh gods, what would you wear? Should it be casual? Semi-formal? Formal?

   A wedding dress??

   No one told you a date was this stressful. You groaned, prying opening your wardrobe cabinet to quickly plan out an outfit. You can’t afford to look stupid and, dare you say, cheap when you’re on a date with the most sought after male in UA.

   Meanwhile, Shouto is also panicking.

   “Look man, you messed up once but that’s okay!” Denki cheered him up. “Experience is the best teacher.”

   “I know but. . .” Shouto took one deep breath, burying his face in his hands. “I-. . .I just froze up the moment I was in front of them.”

   “And that’s normal!”

   The moment you and Shouto parted ways, the male immediately went to Denki for some follow up consultation. Sure, he can fight villains face-to-face without batting an eye. Could freeze half of his enemies without a drop of sweat. Unleash an inferno of fire to defeat his oponent. Tolerate a bunch of fans shoving cameras up his face to get a close-up picture.

   But Todoroki Shouto, for the love of god, couldn’t ask you out without freezing in place and become a stuttering mess.

   “Lighten up man!” Denki nudged his shoulder. “Unleash the tiger inside you.”

   “But I don’t have a tiger inside me. That would be anatomically incorrect.”

   “Look—that’s not the—. . .what I mean is—uhh. . .nevermind. . .” the blond struggled with his words. He had to be careful with what advice he throw at Shouto. That man takes things way too literately. “What I mean is, toughen up. Have confidence on yourself. You’ll have (____) falling for you before you knew it.”

   Which will be easy since (____) is a simp for him, Denki thought.

   Shouto raised his fist then clenched it, determination washing over him. He gave one brief nod to his mentor (that is the personification of Pikachu).

   He can do it. Todoroki Shouto could do it.

   He’d go over his lines a thousand times before the date. He’d make sure he is 110% prepared before the weekend. Denki had made a dent in his schedule just to tutor him how to make you fall in love with him. Shouto wouldn’t let this go to waste.

   Yes, this man is prepared and is on a mission he couldn't possibly fail.

   Scratch that, Shouto’s a mess.

   He pulled the end of his sleeves, his legs bouncing up and down. The male bit the inside of his cheeks, was the weather hot or was it just his insides burning up. Shouto couldn’t sleep the night before, his mind kept him up. It was like 17 browser tabs are open, with three of them frozen, and he doesn’t know where the music is coming from.

   Due to the jitters getting the best of him, Shouto arrived at the agreed destination. . .two hours earlier than what was expected.

   Which wasn’t a problem anyway, since you did the same.

   You huffed, doubling over and placing your hands on your knees. You had ran from your house all the way to the cafe just to make sure you weren't late this time. In attempts to catch your breath, you’ve failed to notice your date standing just a few feet away from you. The minute Shouto laid his eyes on you, fire sparked deep within his heart. Someone pinch him and tell this wasn’t a dream.

   “(____),” he walked close to which startled you.

   “Sho! You-. . . you’re early!”

   “So are you. . .”

   Then silence fell between both of you. Talk about awkward. Who’s idea was it to get these two idiots in a date? If anything, both of you should’ve just left it on mutual pining and save it as a story for the grandchildren.

   Shouto cleared his throat, hands scratching the back of his neck. “Well, since we’re both early. Why won’t we enter the café?”

   You nodded, your voice box failing you. Inwardly, you were screaming your heart out. The embarrassment was just too much for you to handle. You doubt that Shouto would want a second date at this point.

   And so you lagged behind him, keeping a feet distance away from the male. You have a hard time looking at him without making a mess for yourself. Blood rushing your cheeks, it was hard to ignore the butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

   The café was quite small. A handful of potted plants hung outside, the store’s name written in calligraphy, and a few customers visible from the window. The establishment was newly built, Ochako introduced it to you about a week ago. The cheesecake they sell is to die for—it was definitely worth the hefty price.

   A small chime went off as Shouto opened the door. Then it hit you; the strong smell of coffee. You were not a big fan of the beverage, but you’ve got to admit that the scent was pleasant. Without prior warning, Shouto lightly held your hand in his. His thumb gliding over the back of your hand a few times. You took in a sharp inhale, eyes widening at his gesture.

   This is what they do in dates right? Shouto recalled his notes.

   So this is like a DATE date?? Not a friendly date? Somebody pinch me right now, you thought.

   “We should find a table,” he spoke, eyes refusing to make contact with yours. You’ve managed to stutter out an agreement, too occupied with the feeling of his hands. It was so warm—just the way you imagined it throughout the years.

   You could finally die now in peace. Goodbye cruel world.

   Soon enough, you and he are situated on a table near the window. Neither of you dare start a conversation, because god forbid another awkward interaction. Years worth of watching romance series could have never prepared you for such an instance. You wished you should’ve consulted some of your classmates—especially those who have experience in the topic of dating—before coming here yourself. You could try and message them, but you wondered if it would be rude to pull out your phone and ignore Shouto. No, you wouldn’t take the chance.

   “Uh- So how are you, (____)?” he asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

   “Oh, uhhh—. . .” how does one even speak again? “I’m doing well, I guess. . .?”

   That was lame, (____). Lame.

   “How about you?”

   Shouto was silent, you figured he didn’t hear you so you repeated yourself once again. All the while not looking at his direction. It would be better if you don’t see his face or you’ll turn into a puddle of mess.

   But seconds seem to drag to minutes, and that got you concerned.

   “Sho—“ you cut yourself short, realizing that he was staring at you with a lovestruck expression. He looks at you rather softly, like how one would look at a small pet one happens to cross by while walking. The way Shouto kept his gaze at you made you insecure. Was there something on your face? Hair? Shirt? Oh gods, did you smell?

   You wished that, right then and there, the earth would swallow you whole.

   “Sorry I was just. . .” he faltered in his sentence, gulping down his saliva. Shouto then turned his head to the side, a blush ever so present on his cheeks as well as the tips of his ears.

   "Sorry, you're just—just so cute in that outfit that I can’t help but stare."

   His voice was quiet, barely a whisper but you heard it, ironically, loud and clear. Your hand found its way on your mouth, blood rushing to your cheeks as a result of his compliment.

   “Tha-thank you. . .” you’ve managed to croak out, looking down and fiddling with your nails.

   Just. WOW. You can’t believe it. Never once did Shouto commented on your appearance throughout the duration of your friendship with him. What he did was just. . .just so unexpected from him. You find it hard to believe yourself.

   All these years, you’ve hidden your feelings for him. Trapped it inside a chest and swallowed the key yourself. Him falling for you is comparable to that of pigs flying; it was impossible to happen. Yet both of you sat there, like two dorks, a blushing mess while refusing to make eye contact with one another. For once, maybe this time, you could tell him how you feel.

   “I like you. . .” you voiced out your thoughts. It took you a minute to realize what you've done. You let out a small gasp and directed your attention to Shouto. He was also looking at you, baffled. He went silent, his jaw went slack, and eyes wide open, trying to find the words to reply.

   Oh boi, did you made a mistake?

   “(__—“

   “BECAUSE YOU’RE MY FRIEND!” Your jaw tightened, declaring it all too loudly just in case he rejects you. “I like you because you’ve been a good friend to me.”

   You hope you were doing this right.

   Unbeknownst to you, Shouto felt his heart break into two after hearing your added comment. His shoulders slumped down, sadness clouded his features.

   “I. . .I see. . .” he muttered. “I like you too,” he said after a pregnant pause.

   Your whole face lit up. Now it was your turn to look at him with a baffled expression. There was a twinkle in your eye, is this it? The moment of your life?

   “Because you’re my precious friend.” Shouto plastered a smile on his face.

   Oh. Welp, Mina and Denki tried.

   RIP to both of you, forever pushing the other in the friend zone.

ya’ll want a bakugo version of this? (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ✧

[treeni]

Sanders Sides Orange Side Predictions

Theories Masterpost

If you haven’t read @averykedavra‘s post on the idea then you absolutely should. It is extremely well thought out and considers a lot of possibilities about the Orange side, even though there are some specific thoughts that I personally disagree with, it is absolutely worth reading through.

First, I want to say I agree with them pointing out @dragonsaphirareads character Otto, aka “Obsession” as being a brilliant take on what the Orange character could be from a conceptual basis. I also think @candied-peach / Peachsneaker’s character Wrath is another brilliant take on the opposite side of the spectrum of the potential of what the orange side could be. Honestly, if you haven’t, you should check out these two creators' works immediately as they are both completely fantastic writers and have a lot of great Sanders Sides stories, both with and without romance.

My only gripe is that I think both characters are too inherently good in their depictions. Personally, I think both authors are right, to a point. I think the Orange character would be someone who cares too much and takes things too far. What’s interesting about DragonSapphiraRead’s character, is that he was once Passion and gave up parts of himself to the others. It’s interesting, but I personally don’t think that’s how it’s going to go.

Instead I think Passion is exactly the trait that the darkside character is going to embody and this is where I most agree with averykedavra’s take. I think the Orange side is going to come in as someone who appears “good,” “right,” and even “helpful” at first glance, and yet, you gradually start to realize the problems further on. 

If you look at the progression of the darksides so far, you may notice that  they have followed the rule of three in establishing a pattern. Virgil showed up and scared the others until his point got across until he was listened to, so really was it any surprise when both Janus and Remus immediately did the same upon their introductions? Given the divide, it took time and understanding to start being open to the good that Virgil brings. Janus has only just started to really prove to Thomas that he is well intentioned and Remus hasn’t even begun that part of the journey yet. However, you can see the three characters all in various states of the pattern that Virgil set. Virgil is at acceptance, Janus is at tolerance (or at least close to it) and Remus is still at distrust, but past the introduction and initial scare.Their actions have all followed the rule of three behavior that establishes a pattern for the audience to recognize. We inherently know Janus and Remus as being on the same “track” as Virgil was on a subconscious level.

Which is why I think the Orange side will absolutely destroy that expectation by diverting from that path and all current expectations of darksides. After a pattern of accepting the darksides, I think they will decide to immediately give the Orange side a chance because by then they will also have multiple examples of their shortsightedness about the darksides potential in helping Thomas.

 I also think Orange will absolutely come in and appear good at first glance. This will probably happen after Janus is really, truly accepted by the other sides and Remus is at least on his way to being accepted. I also really liked averykedavra’s idea that the orange side gives his name immediately, but I disagree on the idea that he can hide his role. The roles are something that others have been shown to bring up to the group and be generally aware of. No side has had to introduce their role as far as I can remember.

However I actually think of this as further evidence for the side having the role of Passion instead of Wrath or Obsession. Because Passion seems good at baseline and is absolutely good if controlled. However, Passion also encapsulates things like Wrath, Obsession, Procrastination, and Spite.

Imagine if you will, a side that comes in dressed as seemingly innocuous in fandom gear and tee shirts with big smiles and excitement. He quickly and easily proclaims his excitement of all of the others’ work and is extremely supportive at the beginning. I could see CharacterThomas becoming quickly and easily attached to someone who seems so positive and relatable. I think he’d be a little like Patton at first glance, but more childish. There would be none of the “fatherly” care in him for example. He would seem interested in what the others would say and generally only make quiet additions to the conversation. In the beginning it seems as if he brings out the good in the other sides with his small bits of help and encouragement. Except, he doesn’t stop at small. Instead as the sides start to become used to his presence he starts pushing things further and further. 

This side never lies, he doesn’t need to. He can manipulate the truth to do his bidding. He gently reminds Roman of all of the things he hasn’t yet achieved of his dreams. As a friend he pulls Patton aside to remind him of some of the bad things happening recently in the world, just to warn him of course. He asks for Logan’s help in clarifying  some facts that might be a little uncomfortable, but definitely important. He gently nudges Virgil about some of the dangerous things that could have happened to Thomas and really? Isn’t he just lucky to have come out okay so far? And self-preservation? No, not even he’s safe as the side reminds him of the rocky state of his “supposed acceptance” until Janus’ doubts overtake him.

You think Thomas struggles in dealing with one of them acting in extremes? Just wait until they all are. Logan becoming obsessive, Roman becoming unfocused, Virgil becoming paranoid, Patton becoming hysterical, and even Janus literally walling himself away because he devolves into extreme self-defense. (Also possibly trying to hastily wall just him and Thomas away. Because defensive rationality.)

The vast differences between the caring Patton and this side become increasingly clear to the audience, but by this point it’s too late. The sides are (almost) all hanging on his every word.

Logan can’t outmaneuver manipulative honesty, Virgil can’t caution against it, Roman’s too restricted to find a creative solution for it. Even Patton and Janus are ineffective because not only does it sound and feel right, it also seems akin to some of Janus’ behavior of revealing “uncomfortable” truths that Thomas doesn’t want to hear. 

I think this side is going to slowly drive the others into their own extreme biases until their own behaviors are so chaotic and restless they become literally unable to contribute to the conversation.

I also think that will be what makes this particular side terrifying. Instead of scaring the others into listening to him, he simply feeds into their own biases until they are so divided there is no longer a conversation. 

You see, this side wouldn’t simply want to be a voice to be heard. He would want to be the only voice.

Okay, now for my justification as to why. 

1. As I already mentioned before, we as humans like threes, comedians will list three things to establish a pattern and then add a fourth in a “one of these is not like the others” to make a joke. The best way to break a pattern is to flip expectation on its head. This side is already breaking that ideology simply by existing as a fourth darkside. He isn’t there to follow the others paths.

2. Janus and Remus’ religious dialogue that is telling of their own negative views of their lack of “inherent goodness” because they consistently use their own existences as proof of Thomas’ “inherent evilness.” While being revealing of their thought processes, I also believe it is a hint to the last side’s state as a Lucifer-like character in the classical sense of his intended perception. Not a demon, but an angel. Someone who believes they have done no wrong and tempts you on a personal level.

3. Also consider some of the things orange as a color symbolizes: encouragement, enthusiasm, and motivation, yes, but also ambition, domination, temptation, and warning.

It’s still loose evidence as we haven’t even met the side yet, but we as an audience can still derive a lot about him from the other characters.

Now that I’m here shoving all my opinions in your faces, I might as well go all out. 

I am currently two for three on darkside names so I’m going to throw my hat in and tell you my guess on that too. 

If the new Orange side follows my predictions I also think he will be named Aiden. 

Why? First, it means “fiery one” which is a perfect association for both passion and the color orange. It also mimics a “light side” name without quite fitting in with the “en” ending. Additionally, like most names, it is a modernization of older names and this particular one has derivative connections to both the Celtic god of sun and fire “Aodh” and the Greek god “Aidoneus” otherwise known as Hades. (Also keep in mind that Lucifer’s name means Morningstar, aka the sun.) Finally, the word “Aid” is literally in the name to give the impression of innocence. 

And that is my TED talk.

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Hellraiser Fandom and the Invisibility of Women’s Abuse

I’m starting to come to terms with why the Last Drive In interviews stuck with me in a bad way.

It kind of eluded me for a while, but to give you guys the emotional lead-up to what was underlying my sense of discomfort and irritation, let me explain a few things. When I heard the interview was going to happen, I watched some portions of a different Last Drive In episode to get a sense of what the whole thing was about. It’s your standard hosted horror movie show. 

It’s also awkwardly sexist. They have a character on it, Darcy The Mail Girl, who as far as I could tell in my first viewing, basically exists on the show to be ogled and be the butt of sexual humor. The men filming would even break the fourth wall to snicker and whistle when she would say something sexual. In 2020, it was extraordinarily cringe-worthy to watch, and I’m at a loss that we’re still living in a world where this is normalized. It was like watching something from the 80′s. She is extremely objectified on the show. 

I don’t blame her for this. Apparently, she was the victim of some awful bullying and body-shaming fairly recently, and I don’t want to put more suffering on that girl’s shoulders. I respect her. I think she respects herself. The circumstances surrounding a woman being in a position like this are complicated, and I do not pretend to understand her situation. She’s also allowed her own feelings about what she can and cannot handle, and what is and is not okay with her.

Nevertheless, the segment I saw in that other episode with Darcy was alienating and even rather upsetting. I felt a second-hand humiliation and pain. I didn’t feel like Darcy was put in a position where she was in control of her own sexual expression. Perhaps Darcy’s actress disagrees with me, and that’s fine. But as a female audience member, I was already feeling a sense of unease and unwelcome.

So I was obviously primed for discomfort before the interviews even started.

Joe Bob Briggs (the host) said a few things that did not sit quite right with me. Quite frankly, he repeated some more annoying fanboy statements that tend to stick in my craw. His rather basic interpretation of the film, juxtaposed against the awkward, stifling feeling of watching Doug and Ashley try to explain the deeper concepts that eluded him reminded my of my own frustrations listening to the male fans of these films’ constant comprehension failure.

How many times does Doug have to repeat the words he’s basically memorized by heart regarding the tragedy and complex nature of Pinhead? Why does this get forgotten, glossed over, even retconned so much?

Why does it always feel like Ashley gets disregarded? Every time we see an interview with her (which is comparatively rare), nobody really speaks to the deeper thoughts she expresses on her character or the narrative, but every man in the comments has something to say about her hotness level.

When we got to the point that Ashley tried to explain to Briggs that she thought Pinhead was fair in a certain scene, and that Pinhead was speaking to Kirsty’s accountability for her own desires, Briggs responds incredulously; “You think Kirsty OWES Pinhead?!” 

Ashley had spent a portion of the interview having to dismiss the relevance of characters like Steve and Kyle in Kirsty’s life, and was now suggesting a deeper subtext in her interactions with Pinhead that both A) did not cast Kirsty as pure and sexless and without culpability, and B) did not cast Pinhead as her aggressor but as her psychological mirror. 

This is the subtext that is most often disregarded by casual fans and some hardcore fans alike, that Kirsty may not be the innocent and sexless Final Girl, and that Pinhead may not be the predatory Slasher monster intent on using a sharp weapon to penetrate her violently for his own gratification, and that dynamic may not be the be-all-end all of their relationship for the rest of time.

I’ve been turning Brigg’s incredulous response around in my brain for a while. And it’s made me realize something about how men experience Hellraiser’s narrative, and why it differs so greatly for many women.

Doug has more than once spoken to the fact that women react to Pinhead very differently than men. He was of course speaking of the sexual interest he would get, but he has remarked upon the fact at least once that he’s not entirely sure why that is, exactly.

It’s...not that strange to me that women desire rather than fear the character, or that Ashley would have a more positive response to Kirsty’s relationship with him rather than her relationships with the seemingly benign boys of the films. 

There is an order to which women first learn about sex. For some it’s a little different but I believe this is a fairly common experience: The very first thing we learn is that it’s going to hurt (but maybe also feel good after). The second thing we learn is that boys will want to take it from us and will manipulate and lie to us to get it, but that it’s supposed to happen in a loving relationship. The third thing we learn is that we want it too, but we aren’t supposed to because it’s dirty and wrong for us to want it. 

Women grow up with an inherent anxiety around sex, an anxiety that is complicated by our own desires.

Everything in Hellraiser is perfectly reflective of a reality that men clearly do not have the context to fully comprehend, because women’s real experiences of desire, and of male violence, are a blind spot.

The men who hurt women don’t have pins in their head and wax gothic poetry about suffering. They don’t wear dark capes and turn into bats and hypnotize women from their windows to drink their blood. 

The men who hurt women look like Frank, or J.P. Monroe, or Trevor, or Channard, or every bumbling aggressive fool Julia seduced home. 

They look like Larry and Steve. 

Larry let his wife scream “no” and “stop” several times before he responded, regardless of the true reasons she was screaming those words. And when he finally did stop, it was out of anger rather than concern. This is, as far as I’m aware, the most common form of sexual violence a woman can experience - a man they give their trust to suddenly doesn’t respect a “no.”

So, so many times, I have heard men say how badly they felt for Larry, how innocent poor Larry was. 

Men live in a fantasy world where it’s more comfortable for them to imagine characters like Larry as good man, a victim of Julia’s callousness who isn’t in Hell not because he never touched the box, but because he is inherently innocent. They live in a fantasy world where it’s odd that Steve abandoned Kirsty the minute something deeply traumatic happened to her (Briggs remarked upon this). Raise your hand if a man has done the same to you when the cards where down.

Steve’s response to Kirsty getting too drunk to stand properly was to “jokingly” tell her to lie down in this sleazeball way that indicated he was insinuating taking advantage of her intoxicated state. Also one of the most common forms of sexual violence a woman can experience.

The men who Julia took home would respond aggressively when she chickened out of sex, either blindly or in an attempt to shame and guilt her into proceeding.

Should we talk about the fact that Kyle is a psychiatrist who shouldn’t be romancing a traumatized patient in his care who’s parent was just fucking brutally murdered? Or does that feel too petty in comparison?

The men who hurt women are more typically their friends, their fathers, their uncles, their boyfriends, their husbands.

What’s so funny about all of this is that Pinhead somehow does better at consent than these men, at least in a manner of speaking. He’s the only man who legitimately listens to Kirsty, and responds to her “no.” No matter what he threatens, he always stops to hear her out, lets her do what she wants, is always talking about her desires and pleasure, and in the end always ends up destroying the men abusing her rather than going through with ever harming her. 

Briggs seemed keen on viewing Pinhead as a Satanic figure. Historically, what is the role of women who are in a position to encounter the devil? Usually, they are witches, wanton women who gain magical power through sexual communion with the devil. A framework of propaganda that men have historically used to persecute women.

The men who hurt and oppress women in real life don’t look or act like Satan, but they sure as hell are ready to write narrative after narrative of Satanic figures menacing women while they save the day, and they sure as hell like to blame women for preferring “bad boys” and “assholes” over the “nice guy.” 

It’s more comfortable for men to imagine Pinhead as this cool figure of pure evil with no feelings or capacity for mercy, because they can live vicariously through his violence (particularly when they’re writing him doing it to half-naked women, looking at you H3) and yet simultaneously distance their moral identities from him. 

It’s more comfortable to compartmentalize what good vs. predatory masculinity looks like in a way that benefits their self-image and the status quo. This is a lie men tell themselves.

It’s safer for men to point to Pinhead and say, “this is what a predator looks like,” while curiously never speaking of the callous, scummy and predatory behavior of every single other man in the films, even to the point of occasionally discussing the perceived tragedy of fucking Frank’s spiral into darkness long before they can feel entirely comfy imagining Pinhead as having a past where he was a good man with sad feelings, or regard his act of self-sacrifice for Kirsty as anything but a moment of weakness that was “bad writing” and therefore should never have happened.

There is an extraordinary irony in a man arguing with Pinhead’s own actor over the nature of his evil, while running a show where a female character’s fuckability is her main characteristic and it’s okay to behave as if she doesn’t even have real feelings.

All this nonsense in the spaces I go to have fun, while we’re dealing with the background radiation of a President who’s sexual abuses are swept under the rug, his masculinity praised regularly and his violence against our people gaslighted. While we’re dealing with the mass-recorded aggressive violence of police - white men in positions of authority whom we are supposed to trust to keep us safe. While men make other men laugh about the violation of girls so they don’t have to deal with the reality of one of the “nice” funny guys being a predator.

Fuck you. I’d rather burn.

[sunflowersandcerulean]

1. Be together for the right reasons

I asked people who were on their second or third (or fourth) marriages what they did wrong. Where did they mess up?

By far, the most common answer was “being with the person for the wrong reasons.”

Some of these wrong reasons included:

Pressure from friends and family

Feeling like a “loser” because they were single and settling for the first person that came along

Being together for image—because the relationship looked good on paper (or in photos), not because the two people actually admired each other

Being young and naive and hopelessly in love and thinking that love would solve everything

As we’ll see throughout the rest of this article, everything that makes a relationship “work” (and by work, I mean that it is happy and sustainable for both people involved) requires a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other. Without that mutual admiration, everything else will unravel.

2. Have realistic expectations about relationships and romance

You are absolutely not going to be absolutely gaga over each other every single day for the rest of your lives, and all this “happily ever after” bullshit is just setting people up for failure. 

Romantic love is a trap designed to get two people to overlook each other’s faults long enough to get some babymaking done. It generally only lasts for a few years at most.

True love—that is, deep, abiding love that is impervious to emotional whims or fancy—is a choice. It’s a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances. It’s a commitment to a person who you understand isn’t going to always make you happy—nor should they!—and a person who will need to rely on you at times, just as you will rely on them.

3. The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect

Communication, no matter how open, transparent and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Conflicts are ultimately unavoidable, and feelings will always be hurt.

And the only thing that can save you and your partner, that can cushion you both to the hard landing of human fallibility, is an unerring respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another—often more than you each believe in yourselves—and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they’ve got.

4. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts

If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it. Saying it builds trust and trust builds intimacy. It may hurt, but you still need to do it. No one else can fix your relationship for you. Nor should anyone else.

5. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals

Understand that it is up to you to make yourself happy, it is NOT the job of your spouse. 

Shitty, codependent relationships have an inherent stability because you’re both locked in an implicit bargain to tolerate the other person’s bad behavior because they’re tolerating yours, and neither of you wants to be alone. 

A healthy and happy relationship requires two healthy and happy individuals. Keyword here: “individuals.” That means two people with their own identities, their own interests and perspectives, and things they do by themselves, on their own time.

6. Give each other space

Be sure you have a life of your own, otherwise it is harder to have a life together. What do I mean? Have your own interests, your own friends, your own support network, and your own hobbies. Overlap where you can, but not being identical should give you something to talk about and expose one another to. It helps to expand your horizons as a couple, but isn’t so boring as both living the exact same life.

– Anonymous

7. You and your partner will grow and change in unexpected ways; embrace it

One theme that came up repeatedly, especially with those married 20+ years, was how much each individual changes as the decades roll on, and how ready each of you have to be to embrace the other partner as these changes occur. One reader commented that at her wedding, an elderly family member told her, “One day many years from now, you will wake up and your spouse will be a different person, make sure you fall in love with that person too.

8. Get good at fighting

What Gottman does is he gets married couples in a room, puts some cameras on them, and then he asks them to have a fight.

Notice: he doesn’t ask them to talk about how great the other person is. He doesn’t ask them what they like best about their relationship.

He asks them to fight. Pick something they’re having problems with and talk about it for the camera.

And from simply analyzing the film for the couple’s discussion (or shouting match, whatever), he’s able to predict with startling accuracy whether a couple will divorce or not.

But what’s most interesting about Gottman’s research is that the things that lead to divorce are not necessarily what you think. Successful couples, like unsuccessful couples, he found, fight consistently. And some of them fight furiously.

He has been able to narrow down four characteristics of a couple that tend to lead to divorces (or breakups). He has gone on and called these “the four horsemen” of the relationship apocalypse in his books. They are:

Criticizing your partner’s character (“You’re so stupid” vs “That thing you did was stupid”)

Defensiveness (or basically, blame shifting, “I wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t late all the time”)

Contempt (putting down your partner and making them feel inferior)

Stonewalling (withdrawing from an argument and ignoring your partner)

The reader emails back this up as well. Out of the 1,500-some-odd emails, almost every single one referenced the importance of dealing with conflicts well.

Advice given by readers included:

Never insult or name-call your partner. Put another way: hate the sin, love the sinner. Gottman’s research found that “contempt”—belittling and demeaning your partner—is the number one predictor of divorce.

Do not bring previous fights/arguments into current ones. This solves nothing and just makes the fight twice as bad as it was before. Yeah, you forgot to pick up groceries on the way home, but what does him being rude to your mother last Thanksgiving have to do with anything?

If things get too heated, take a breather. Remove yourself from the situation and come back once emotions have cooled off a bit. This is a big one for me personally—sometimes when things get intense with my wife, I get overwhelmed and just leave for a while. I usually walk around the block two or three times and let myself seethe for about 15 minutes. Then I come back and we’re both a bit calmer and we can resume the discussion with a much more conciliatory tone.

Remember that being “right” is not as important as both people feeling respected and heard. You may be right, but if you are right in such a way that makes your partner feel unloved, then there’s no real winner.

9. Get good at forgiving

To me, perhaps the most interesting nugget from Gottman’s research is the fact that most successful couples don’t actually resolve all of their problems. In fact, his findings were completely backwards from what most people actually expect: people in lasting and happy relationships have problems that never completely go away, while couples that feel as though they need to agree and compromise on everything end up feeling miserable and falling apart.

To me, like everything else, this comes back to the respect thing. If you have two different individuals sharing a life together, it’s inevitable that they will have different values and perspectives on some things and clash over it. The key here is not changing the other person—as the desire to change your partner is inherently disrespectful (to both them and yourself)—but rather it’s to simply abide by the difference, love them despite it, and when things get a little rough around the edges, to forgive them for it.

10. The little things add up to big things

Of the 1,500 responses I got, I’d say about half of them mentioned at some point or another one simple but effective piece of advice: Don’t ever stop doing the little things. They add up.

Things as simple as saying, “I love you,” before going to bed, holding hands during a movie, doing small favors here and there, helping with some household chores. Even cleaning up when you accidentally pee on the toilet seat (seriously, someone said that)—these things all matter and add up over the long run.

11. Sex matters… a LOT

But sex not only keeps the relationship healthy, many readers suggested that they use it to heal their relationships. That when things are a bit frigid between them or that they have some problems going on, a lot of stress, or other issues (i.e., kids), they even go so far as to schedule sexy time for themselves. They say it’s important. And it’s worth it.

12. Be practical, and create relationship rules

Then there’s how relationships actually work.

Messy. Stressful. Miscommunication flying everywhere so that both of you feel as though you’re in a perpetual state of talking to a wall.

The fact is relationships are imperfect, messy affairs. And it’s for the simple reason that they’re comprised of imperfect, messy people—people who want different things at different times in different ways and oh, they forgot to tell you? Well, maybe if you had been listening, asshole.

The common theme of the advice here was “Be pragmatic.” If the wife is a lawyer and spends 50 hours at the office every week, and the husband is an artist and can work from home most days, it makes more sense for him to handle most of the day-to-day parenting duties. If the wife’s standard of cleanliness looks like a Home & Garden catalog, and the husband has gone six months without even noticing the light fixture hanging from the ceiling, then it makes sense that the wife handles more of the home cleaning duties.

It’s economics 101: division of labor makes everyone better off. Figure out what you are each good at, what you each love/hate doing, and then arrange accordingly. My wife loves cleaning (no, seriously), but she hates smelly stuff. So guess who gets dishes and garbage duty? Me. Because I don’t give a fuck. I’ll eat off the same plate seven times in a row. I couldn’t smell a dead rat even if it was sleeping under my pillow. I’ll toss garbage around all day. Here honey, let me get that for you.

13. Learn to ride the waves

The man said something like, “relationships exist as waves, people need to learn how to ride them.” Upon asking him to explain, he said that, like the ocean, there are constant waves of emotion going on within a relationship, ups and downs—some waves last for hours, some last for months or even years. The key is understanding that few of those waves have anything to do with the quality of the relationship—people lose jobs, family members die, couples relocate, switch careers, make a lot of money, lose a lot of money. Your job as a committed partner is to simply ride the waves with the person you love, regardless of where they go. Because ultimately, none of these waves last. And you simply end up with each other.