#the lack of lucidity is getting to me 😭😭

[monpalace]

Okay so modern au somehow through some shenanigans we still see all the other links. I just love the idea that when the make it to Twi’s world they try to keep up the facade of being cousins like they did with Time’s world to which Athena and Songbird’s response is “I was born at night but I wasn’t born last night.” But she immediately starts making food to feed them + the kids and Twi is just looking on all smitten with her while they just stare at him because somehow he’s never mentioned songbird -🧚🏽‍♀️

twi could never keep a lie from songbird, but time would try to keep a lie from athena and feel his chest cave in everytime she sends him a look that says "i know what you did," (because she does, even if she didn't mean to give him that look) before caving after a few hours (shortest amount of time was def 13 seconds i just know it)

a few of the boys would look at twi in absolute disgust because of his "simp" tendencies and after hearing how he and songbird, but are literally seething with envy on the inside because?? wolfboy got a woman (and kids)????? before them???????? and a good one at that???????????????

and the food smacks?? did she put her foot in it?? cast a spell on it?? did the woman put her whole pussy into it??

if it weren't for the fact she had to take care of the twins and twi wasn't so protective, i feel like a few of them would ask her to come with the next time they jump hyrules 😭

(she makes them take little meal prep things though)

[coquettebratzdoll]

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

Okay a while ago I made this post talking abt how I haven't shifted yet bc I'm lazy, and while the sentiment holds true, I made some advancements is my beliefs. I've come to the realisation that I wasn't lazy, I just lacked some things 😭😭. Since many of you guys seemed to relate to my struggle, I'll go over what I found to be lacking and how I am fixing it:

1. Persistence - I just wasn't persisting in the fact that I am a master shifter. Some days I believed, only to give up a few hours later. I let the 3d tell me stuff that was literally not true. Like okay not you tryna be relevant gtfo 💀💀

2. Direction - I had no clear goal in mind. Like ofc I wanted to shift, but I was switching up on myself every half hour. First, I want to shift by xyz date, but then I change my mind and say that I'll shift tonight. So by the time night actually came around, I would just say one aff then give up on myself.

3. Mindset - talking abt giving up on myself, my mindset is all over the place rn. I don't hate myself (far from it), but I do not believe in myself. It's even crazier cus I KNOW I can shift, and I HAVE SHIFTED multiple times to realities like this one 😭😭. Ik that it has to be real, but I am limiting myself by believing that I personally can't shift (or don't deserve to). I know that it is possible to shift with doubts, but if you don't believe in yourself, where will that get you.

4. Methods - there are a plethora of methods that I can choose from to aid my shifting, but I just don't resonate with the traditional methods of shifting. I know that you don't need a method to shift, but I wish someone told me sooner how little methods actually matter. Lemme be honest, I've never been a Type A planner person. Steps and instructions aren't my strong suite. I prefer to be 'lazy' and just go with the flow.

So now that I listed my problems, here are my solutions !!

For persistence, I'm just gonna shut my ass up and do it 💀💀. Like ik 4d is the only reality that matters, so imma continue to hold true in that assumption.

As for direction, imma focus on one dr for now. I'll also gaslight myself so badly yall just wait 😭🙏

Mindset is gonna be the most exposing one lmao. Imma do some shadow work to find the root cause of the problem and deal with it from the source.

For methods, imma use the law of assumption to my benefit. I alr apply it to everything else, so why not shifting ? I'll also add on lucid dreams cus they're fun 💀💀

Overall, this really made me think harder about why I am so 'lazy' when it comes to shifting and inspired me to do something about it. I hope you do the same :)

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

Bro……. I hate to do this to you….

But it’s LITERALLY!!!!! THE FUCKING PROPRANOLOL!!!!!!

😭😭😭😭😭

I mean maybe you’ll be lucky and won’t get them?????? Maybe?????? Possibly??? But I started taking it July 15th so I haven’t really even been on it for that long (10mg twice daily + it’s not an extended release version)

-💛

OHHHNNGHMYGOD. OHMYGOD. OHDNDANWSBDJDBDHDBD DIDSN

mother FUCKING PROPANOLOL!!!!!!!!!!

im on 20mg twice daily and it nuked like. all higher functioning 😭 its so hard to think my mind is so quiet. it is stealing my memories from me and i cannot even be properly frightened or mad because i lack consistent higher function to comprehend the depths of how bad it is!! j LITERALLY CANNOT REMEMBER EXISTINF ANY OTHER WAY all my posts have either been stream of consciousness pure instinct OR a moment of lucidity. i am Literally in hell

im not hallucinating tho!!! hashtag count your blessings 😭

also 4 anyone who does not take heart medicine: propanolol is one of those pills that DOESNT have the little coating to makw them not taste like shit. they are dusty and gross and they ALWAYS GET STUCK ON MY TONGUE AND THEN I CAN TASTE IT EW EE EW EW

[runicmagitek]

2022 Writerly Year Review

tagged by @frozen-fountain (many thanks!!) not gonna tag anyone, but if you're a writer and are reading this and feel like giving this a go? Consider yourself tagged! 💖

Total number of completed works. Posted to AO3? 62 🙃 I guess it's technically 61, as What Leads You Here is still in progress, being a longfic and all.

Total number of WIPs worked on this year. Oh lord, hold please as I count all the drafts and partially done stuff in Scrivener.... 7 total. 8 if you include What Leads You Here, which fully drafted, but in the editing phase.

WIPs neglected this year. I honestly don't know djsaklfdjslkfjkldas I continue to neglect my one Celes/Terra fic I abandoned when 13 Sentinels hijacked my brain, so there's that 🙃 I promise I'll return to it one day.

Fandoms I've written in. 13 Sentinels, Critical Role, Final Fantasy (VI, VII, IX, and X), Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, My Dress-Up Darling, and Pyre

Total word count. Uh, posted to AO3? 287,882. Written? A little over 500k

Looking back, did you write more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you expected? MORE. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MORE.

Did you take any writing risks this year? There were a handful of fics that I banged out in a single day, quickly edited them, and slapped them onto AO3. Are they amazing works of literature? Hell no. Were they super fun to write? Hell yeah. I need to just… relax with editing more and let myself do this more often. I swear some of my better-received fics are when I go "you know what? fuck it" and release it into the world.

Do you have any goals for the new year? Not write as much lolsob. Also finish What Leads You Here along with a handful of WIPs. Maybe even revisit that Celes/Terra WIP if I have time/energy!

Biggest disappointment? Not so much in my own writing, but just lack of engagement with some of my fics. Then again, that's par for the course when you write A) not-so-popular characters, B) gen fic, and C) stories involving death and angsty bits. Also seeing my fluffy G fics doing better than my smutty fics in the 13 Sentinels fandom just… continues to baffle me to this day. It's LITERALLY the only fandom I've ever been in where smut does worse numbers-wise and I don't get it.

Biggest surprise? I wrote something for Critical Role!! I've been a longtime watcher and enjoy the show, but I've done my best to staaaaay away from the fandom 😰 plus I tend to wait until I finish something before I ever consider writing a fic for it, just so I can have the whole picture, so to speak. But one particular episode just set me off and I had to write something to hold me over until the next episode 😭

Most popular story of the year? Most hits/bookmarks? For the Ones That Feel It the Most

Most kudos/subscriptions? Sweet Dreams (why are people subscribing to a oneshot lolsob)

Most comments? What Leads You Here

Ahhh the power of posting fics near the release of a popular thing. And also longfics lol.

What's your own favorite story of the year? I feel like this changes on a daily basis lol I love all of them for different reasons. Lucid has a close place to my heart bc I was Very Upset to find close to no m!Byleth/Gatekeeper fics in an incredibly popular/active fandom. Also really love how Like You, Only Sweeter turned out, which was an incredibly self-indulgent story for me (I just wanted them to smooch)

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion. Nearly all of my 13 Sentinels fics bc the fandom is small and niche lolsob. But also Marinate, which granted, I posted the last week of 2022, but still.

Most fun story to write. What the Water Gave Me, which very quickly snowballed out of control into its own thing. I had a blast writing this mermaid AU and thinking of lore for this world!

Most unintentionally telling story. I'm not sure if this means like… a story that utilized more telling as opposed to showing or just… telling about me as an individual. Either way, I'm genuinely not sure? A lot of aspects of myself are sprinkled across my stories, but isn't any work of art?

My favorite part of fandom this year. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PICK ONE?????? Meeting so many cool and incredibly talented people. Starting a Discord server with good friends. Applying (and getting accepted!) to a bunch of amazing zine projects. Participating in all the secret santa events and fic exchanges. Being late to a fandom and getting to experience things for the first time. Watching my friend react throughout their 13 Sentinels playthroughs. Collaborating with a lovely art friend to make our own damn zine. Getting to share my longfic with the small, yet vastly passionate community. And just… so so many more moments that made me smile and be forever grateful. If we've interacted at all, even for a brief moment, thank you for making 2022 a little brighter.

[babybearnini]

.

[kuzann]

Been making progress on the next chapter of Static Dreams and it’s still first draft but I wanted to share the hug and the lead-up to it because 😭 these boys. I love them.

The dream shifted...

Ingo noticed it immediately this time, snapping to full lucidity in the space of a moment. He took stock of his surroundings and found that he was in the front hall of their townhouse. The ceiling loomed high above, the walls seeming to lean over him. A distant creak suggested that some unseen intruder might be lurking.

He didn’t want to be here.

Ingo turned to the front door and opened it.

Sleek metal entrance and interior, a set of steps leading up to the second level... A train waited for him just outside.

Some of the tension ebbed away as Ingo stepped inside and the doors closed behind him. It was quiet and comfortable inside, though Ingo could feel the train preparing to move under his feet.

He climbed the stairs and found himself on an open level with plush blue seating and large windows. Beyond them an ocean of gold wildflowers stretched out on either side, reaching all the way to the distant mountains. A scenic train, then. He and Emmet had ridden on them before while going on longer trips. They were always good fun and had spectacular views.

All seats were empty, save for one.

A shadow huddled in one of the backward-facing seats on the side opposite from Ingo, head turned to look out the closest window.

Ingo knew who it was, even without seeing his face.

“Emmet,” Ingo said as he started toward the shadow. Beneath him the train started moving, bound in the direction opposite to the one he walked in.

The shadow looked up at Ingo, revealing his gray eyes. He was a little more put-together than last time, though he still lacked the proper silhouette. “Ingo.” There was a sincere smile in Emmet’s eyes as he said Ingo’s name. “It’s so beautiful,” he said, looking back out over the landscape. “Like something out of a dream.” It was exactly what he’d said when they first saw a similar landscape years ago...

“Well that’s fitting. We’re in a dream right now,” Ingo said as he took a seat at Emmet’s side. “We saw something like this before, remember? The west coast superbloom. We had to get off the train to see those flowers, though.”

Emmet gave Ingo a look of confusion. “I don’t remember,” he admitted, as if worried that he’d done something wrong. “This is the first time I’ve seen it.”

Ingo went cold. “But how? You kept mentioning it every so often after we got home, even years later...” A creeping revelation began to rise in Ingo’s mind, and he knew he wasn’t going to like it when it made itself fully known.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember a lot of things.”

“What do you remember?” Ingo asked, his fingers curling with rising tension.

“I remember my name, and I remember you,” Emmet replied slowly. “You’re my older brother and you’re verrry strong.”

“That’s it?” Ingo brought a hand to his head and looked down at the floor. “But how did that happen? Was it the accident?”

“Accident?” Emmet asked. He paused, eyes narrowed in thought. “I don’t know about an accident. I...” He looked down at his hands, which were nearly indistinguishable from the rest of him. “I don’t remember what I look like, or what it’s like to be awake. Everything from before the day you disappeared is just gone.” The pain was clear in his voice and eyes, the profound sense of loss that held him now. Ingo had felt much the same prior to little more than a week ago.

“Emmet,” Ingo said, taking his hand. “We’re twins. You look just like me, but you smile more, and your face is more expressive. If you want to see yourself right now, just look at me.” He stood so Emmet could get a better look: the face, the uniform, the posture. Hopefully memories would start to return once Emmet had a better idea of himself.

Emmet stared at Ingo with a fierce intensity, taking in everything. He stood, and his form began to ripple and shift. His back straightened, bringing him to the same height as Ingo, the coat flowing out around him until it reached the proper length and the hat materializing on his head. The shadows seemed to grow thin, showing through with gray and then white and finally receding to their proper place like ink being washed away. He lacked color, coming through in only bleached white and shadowy black and with cracks like repaired porcelain running over his body, but there was no mistaking him. This was Emmet, there was no doubt.

Ingo swept Emmet into a hug and held him tight, his eyes overflowing. Ever since his memories returned he’d wanted so badly to hold his brother in his arms. They were in a dream, it was true, but that didn’t matter. This would suffice for now.

Emmet returned the hug, holding Ingo just as tightly as he held him. “I missed you so much,” he said with a barely restrained sob. “Why did you leave me? I was so lonely.”

“I’m sorry, Emmet,” Ingo replied, his voice breaking. “I would never leave you on purpose.” He paused for a few breaths, then continued. “I was trying to go back in time and change things so you never got hurt, but it all went wrong and I ended up getting lost. I came back as soon as I could.”

[maladaptive-daydreaming-aphant]

hello, friend! i am texting you with hope that you've already heard about shifting realities. do you think it would be able to fix MaDD?

hello!! (and sorry i completely missed this ask until now! it's been so long oml 😭 I'm so sorry if this ask is no longer of any use to you 😭)

I have heard of reality shifting yes, but no, it could never "fix" MaDD.

Firstly, I regret to inform you that I don't really "believe" in reality shifting? I'm not particularly knowledgeable about it so don't quote me on this, but to me it just sounds like astral projection with extra escapism and a sprinkling of glorified psychosis (feel free to correct me if you have any better sources). It's simply impossible to permanently "shift" your way out of this world. The suggested methods seem unrealistic at best, and downright dangerous at worst. If you're seeking immersive escapism you can control, I'd suggest looking in to lucid dreaming instead, as that's been around for many years and there are plenty of good resources out there for it.

Disclaimer that, even if they are real, I would personally never be capable of doing either of the aforementioned activities (reality shifting & astral projection), as my aphantasia (lack of mind's eye) prevents me from conjuring any of the vivid mental images typically required for these sorts of things. Which, of course, further encourages my disbelief in these practices.

Now, to answer your actual question:

The "fix" for MaDD will vary greatly from person to person. Maladaptive daydreaming is a coping mechanism. Just like any other coping mechanism, there are underlying issues causing our reliance on it, and these issues will be different for everyone.

Replacing your MaDD with reality shifting would likely do nothing for your well-being. I stop daydreaming when I get really focused on a game, but playing a game for ten hours straight only substitutes my daydreaming addiction with a gaming addiction. When I get drunk enough I become too incapacitated to daydream, but that's obviously even worse for me, and getting my brain to shut up about my paras for a bit isn't worth the alcohol poisoning. Sometimes I scroll through social media for hours on end instead of daydreaming but that won't solve any of my actual problems either.

Switching one maladaptive coping mechanism for another will not help you in the long run.

(unless it's objectively healthier for you than the existing one)

I encourage you to reflect on why you feel the need to daydream. I understand the main reasons for my own MaDD pretty well, and I'm comfortable with continuing to have MaDD for now because the things that would "solve" it are not accessible to me in my current place in life. Of course daydreaming still takes up a lot of my time and causes plenty of problems for me, but I've been working on controlling it and getting medicated and now it's not nearly as bad as it was several years ago.

Fellow MaDDers, please feel free to add on to this post if you have better knowledge on the topic of MaDD vs. reality shifting! I don't have TikTok and have therefore avoided it entirely other than the few times I saw it mentioned here on Tumblr.

[neonacity]

Sammy, i was scrolling through pinterest earlier and this damn picture came stumbling through and i was just brought back to Lucid 😭 like look at him this is literally Lucid Haechan 😭😭 this would make such a good cover for a fic istg 🙏🏻 will i ever get over my Lucid era? I dont think so 😔🫂

Uhm, who says you are allowed to get over Lucid? You are bound to it forever my dear. 😬 but yes... yes... this is exactly him from Lucid. I know you already know how i used Boom's aesthetic to create that fic. Seeing this now makes me giggle though because this version of Haechan will surely sneer at his Arcane persona who prefers ripped jeans and leather jackets. Boy be like "you call it fashion, i think it's lack of class" 🙄🙄🙄💅