#the monkey theme really ties this joke together

[2jcore]

hwanghon brew director's cut

hello everyone first of all, please bear with me this is the first time i've tried using tumblr and i honestly don't know my way around it yet. With that being said, please allow me to give you the director's cut of Hwanghon Brew i promised 2 years ago lmao TT

So, for starters, hwanghon brew was commissioned by my good friend ate cams (who was absolutely patient with me. love u ate cams mwa) 

These were the things requested:

heejayke poly

established heejay

modern vampires

college/frat au

5+1

heejayke feeding on each other

THE PLAYLIST

I was given the freedom to do whatever, come up with whatever plot that ties these things together, so I did! The first thing that came to mind of course, was the vibe I wanted to go for. So i immediately looked up a modern vampire playlist to set the mood, and stumbled upon this playlist. which is honestly so fitting because 1) the cover is a screenshot from the given-taken japanese mv, and 2) the person who made it seems to be an engene seeing that the first song in the playlist is drunk-dazed.

Anyway, Supermassive Black Hole by Muse became the first song that I associated to Hwangwon. It was like, idk the theme song while i was writing it? In fact, the whole black market scene during the intro was written to supermassive black hole. I didn't really make a moodboard for HB and instead created a playlist and relied on getting the vibe from that instead.

if i were to describe the songs that i picked out for hwanghon, it would be dark and somewhat eerie. most of them were rock/alt, (Test Me - Xdinary Heroes, One in a Billion - Enhypen, Tonight is the Night I Die - Palaye Royal)

some were also alternative/indie like Teeth - 5SOS, cult leader - king mala, and Blood // Water - grandson.

I played this playlist 24/7 while writing the fic NO JOKE LIKE ESPECIALLY IN THE SHOWER even though some of the songs creeped me out T^T bc honest to god some of them lowkey sounded demonic but it is what it is. So, I listened to these vampy songs while trying to come up with the main theme of the fic.

If you watched the video teasers I posted on my twitter, you'd know that I strongly associated Xdinary Heroes songs to HB, especially during the scenes where they're playing tag and running around the city, especially Test Me.

Hold Me Tight, and Tunnel by KimYeji were for the more somber parts like Jake's inner monologues about fitting in, heejay talking about the coven and jake, and especially the scene were Jay runs to Jake in the bathroom and relives Heeseung's near death.

And while I do associate their running scenes with xdinary heroes, BONBON GiRL by SARM is an honorable mention. To me this is a bouncier song for the times they're leaping from one rooftop to another, just having fun while Seoul's citylights shine below them. When I play this song, Hwanghon Brew suddenly turns into this cyberpunk vampire anime in my mind.

Some special mentions that I really enjoyed listening to and helped me brainstorm for scenes are: Real Boy - Lola Blanc, Verbatim - Mother Mother, and Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High - Artic Monkeys.

OUTLINING

As some of my readers might know, my first step when writing a fic is to make an outline. My first thought was to think about the characters. With heejay being established, it only made sense for me to make them members of the frat/coven. With that thought in mind, I wondered how to write Jake into their lives. And thought, hmm, what if he moved to Seoul for college and stumbles upon one of the coven members? Let's make him a newly turned vampire from the country side.

(jake bagong salta to coven = jake new to the coven)

So i was trying to come up with the main theme of the fic and initially came up with this:

I was just thinking that jake was just, idk, desperately trying to fit in even though he was already part of the coven, and heejay could teach him how to be a vampire and their feelings could develop through that. Of course, this idea changed as the outline became more fleshed out.

After establishing the basics of the character backgrounds, my next step was to outline the plot itself. I divided the plot into the 5+1 structure, and brainstormed for a main event/scene per number.

this is the unedited original outline LMAOO which obviously was changed as I went along with writing it. I wasn't given an exact word count and was just told to write whatever I wanted (thank you sm ate cams 🥺) and honestly i went into this thinking that i'd be done by 10k HAHAHAHA BOY WAS I WRONG. then again, i shouldn't really be surprised because i have the habit of going over my target word count. In fact my bestie Erina (who helped me brainrot a lot during the writing process (luv u bubbie hwanghon brew will forever be your inaanak) was like. bubbie. how could you even think you'd be done by 10k LMAOO)

anyways, let's unpack this original outline. the [ 5 - hoon supposed to take him to hwanghon but can't ] made it to the fic since Sunghoon really asked Jay to take Jake to hwanghon. [ 4 - heeseung arc, bonding over ramyeon ] was only partially kept. Instead of the 4th part being about jake feeling hesitant, it becomes heejake growing closer through their convo while having ramyeon, and jake trying to get closer to jay by using the honey cookies. So i guess you can say that food holds importance in this part.

the third part where jake underestimates his appetite and heejay come to the rescue is kept, but added to it are heejake and heejay scenes, the latter giving more insight to the jayke aspect of things

The 2nd one. So my thought process here is: the initiation is successful. However, throughout and after this, heejay become more and more possessive over jake without them actually noticing and without them realizing why. So, the members intervene by acting all flirty with jake until heejay finally acknowledge their feelings, and this leads to the jealousy jealousy part in number 1. and somehow the tension just builds up until they all just erupt and make out, which would lead to them feeding on each other.

as you can see, khan's appearance in the fic was not part of the original outline. and that definitely changes a lot of things.

for the first few parts of the fic, i outlined the turn of events and crossed them out once i finished writing that sequence. my original outline somehow ends here? IDK how i outlined the rest of the fic LMAO IT WAS A FEVER DREAM. ANYWAY.

THE BLACKMARKET

i wanted to start the fic with a banger. literally. so, what better way to do it than to bombard countryboy Jake with the grim reality of the city, right?

After listening to Supermassive Black Hole, this black market scene immediately played in my mind and set the tone for the rest of the fic. It came to me quickly--the image of Jake stumbling upon a black market swaying, dizzy as hell, his vision splitting and all these neon signs swirling around him. for me, the song cemented the over all night life/cyberpunk vibe that I was going for.

At first, I was thinking that it's Jay who finds Jake in that market. Like the thought of spotting Jay amidst the blur of people was so appealing to me (especially as your resident jayker). But I figured that it would be better for Sunghoon to find him first, because not only does this create a foundation for jakehoon's friendship, but also sets the stage for a better meeting between jake and heejay.

Right off the bat I wanted this scene to be as descriptive as possible, so that I could immediately give the readers a good feel of the universe and the dark tone of the fic. Hence why I enumerated every single thing from a man trying to sell Jake drugs,

“Hyungnim,” A man suddenly slings his arm around his shoulders. “You looking for a good time?” “N-no,” He answers meekly, pushing away the man who had a couple of tattoos dotting the left side of his face, his leather jacket reeking of alcohol and some kind of earthy, herby scent.

(that's why he smelled earthy - y'know...marijuana) to prostitutes trying to beckon him over

“Hey, are you lost?” Two girls call out to him in coy voices, breaking out into giggles and taking drags of the cigarettes pinned between their long manicured nails.

Anyway, while i was writing this, i was constantly seeking opinions from my close friends (love u erina i could not have written most of this without you) and recieved good feedback about the intro, so i think it was pretty effective.

SUNGHOON

(this is the hoon in my head!! ugh so hot fr fr imagine him just walking along seoul at night jumping from one roof to another)

like I said, since i made Sunghoon the character who finds Jake, I wanted him to make a strong impression, which is why he is how he is--practically dragging Jake to the cafe, ordering for him, talking on and on even though Jake wasn't responding LMAO like Sunghoon didn't really care TT

I also wanted him to have #humor which is why he's so damn sarcastic all the time "don't worry i don't bite" SAYS THIS WITH HIS CHEST WHILE BEING A WHOLE VAMPIRE LIKE FUCK OFFF "no humans were harmed in the process" he's so??!?! anyway, it was super fun writing him, he's easily one of my favorite sunghoons in all the fics i've written.

though it looks like him being a lovesick fool is a common thing among my fics and i don't regret this one bit. It's so funny writing Sunghoon pining over Sunoo when the latter doesn't even give him his time of the day (not true, actually he's just equally enamored)

While it is true that Sunghoon is one of the comedic reliefs in this fic, Sunghoon is also the token best friend that everyone needs. He has his own way of looking after Jake that is just so endearing to me. In fact one of my personal favorite scenes would be the jakehoon skirmish during the initiation where they're just tumbling down from one roof to another. They way Sunghoon was so proud when Jake managed to get his necklace 🥺 and the way he was like "Go. The other three won't be as easy as I was."

In his own silly little ways, he makes sure that Jake isn't left behind and watches over him. (Sunghoon wouldn't have brought Jake to the cafe and bought him a blood smoothie to begin with if he wasn't so kind) Speaking of blood smoothie, that brings us to the next part

RASPBERRY ORANGES

also known as blood oranges, where Enhypen coined their album name "Orange Blood" from. If you check the dates, Hwanghon Brew was posted before this release so belift, i was first 🙄 (lighthearted) anyway, blood oranges are literally just oranges but the insides are red.

I was searching for a fruit that would pass off as the same color as blood because I wanted Sunghoon to order something cryptic. In the sense that it's not really on the menu since only vampires would know about it because it's a code for blood, but if per se, a human manages to overhear it and ask about it, they could just serve a real fruit smoothie and it wouldn't look any different.

I thought maybe dragonfruit? but it's too purple. raspberry is too pink. strawberry would be too pale. I stumbled upon the raspberry orange, saw the pulp looking like blood and i thought, yeah this is it. This looks vampire-y enough.

I included this fruit solely because of that and didn't really think of anything else lol. Later on, I found out through my moot Kaia that blood oranges hold meanings that really align with the concept of Hwanghon Brew

THE BASEMENT

I don't know if i should feel flattered, scared, or annoyed that there seem to be so many parallels between hwanghon brew and official enhypen content. because first of all, i posted HB in october of 2022, and it had the line "bite me" (i'm not gatekeeping that phrase but the parallels are just fascinating) and then they come out with Dark Blood and Bite Me as the title track in 2023. Also, like i said, blood oranges, Orange Blood, etc etc. And the basement/frathouse IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SET IN SWEET VENOM LOOKS LIKE

like. the strobe lights, the party, the dingy mattresses??? thanks to belift for bringing my fic to life i guess??!?W@#$ anyway, since they were a coven disguised as a frat, i figured it was only right for them to have a frathouse. i didn't do much research on frats because i didn't focus on it much in the fic, but i guessed that frathouses were mostly...well, messy. Plus, they're supposed to be broke college kids, so i thought it'd be fitting for them to rent out a cheap basement in one of the shady alleys in Seoul.

THE COVEN

While it is true that they're also kind of a frat, like Sunghoon says,

“It’s a coven and a frat. I mean, we’re fronting as a frat. But, it’s not exactly a disguise because we really are a frat? You get what I mean.” Sunghoon waves his messy explanation off.

they are a coven first and foremost, which to me crosses out the thought that they only have men (since y'know. frat). in my mind the coven also has female members. since txt are part of it, i immediately thought of itzy, pictured yeji and ryujin on the couch making out and i was like yeah, i like that.

aside from the basement looking like sweet venom, at the time I was writing it, SV wasn't out yet. So the party was actually mostly based on the drunk-dazed party

Anyway, it's mentioned in passing that the pioneer of this coven is Jay, and he served as its leader for a good few centuries before handing the torch to Jungwon. Since then, he took the backseat with the leadership, but still helped in calling the shots. Jungwon doesn't make big decisions without consulting him (and Heeseung consequently)

MEETING HEEJAY

Like I said, I wanted to set the stage for heejay--present them in a way that both Jake and the readers know that they aren't like any other. I wanted them to be revered. While everyone was wilding it out partying, they were in the backroom watching it all unfold. idk there's just something about them just sitting there and watching over their people. literally like kings over their constituents. (constituents??!!)

Tall nose, sharp lips, tanned skin peeking out from the rips in his jeans

Tall nose, small lips, sharp jaw trailing down to a chin that juts out when he frowns. A leather choker around his neck, his knitted top torn.

These were the pictures in mind when I wrote the descriptions of heejay's first appearance

JAY

i can't recall if someone left a comment about this or a friend told me, but i remember someone saying that it made so much sense that Jay was the eldest vampire. they said that usually, people would think of going according to enha's real age, so it was refreshing to see Jay as the eldest.

to me it just felt right to make Jay the eldest and only pureblood in the coven. I think i based this off of the fact that Jay in real life was obviously brought up in a high class (?) family and environment. He knows a lot of things, is well off, and yet he seems street smart and wise.

with this, i came up with his background--his family being around for ages, somewhat pioneers of the current seoul vampire society, and owners of the disguised vampire establishments. speaking of family, it's implied that Yoongi is Jay's relative.

aside from this, I was thinking, Jay is mostly a loving sweetheart in the fics i've written, so why not make him a loving but emotionally constipated tsundere in this one?

anyway, given the fact that jay is the eldest, only pureblood, and founding father of their coven, i think his disposition was to be expected. he's literally like a grumpy overprotective father. to him his coven is his family, which is why he's skeptical to let strangers get close to the people he loves. especially after the first khan incident. He let khan into the coven, treated him as his own kin, and khan betrayed him by abandoning all the principles and beliefs he stands by, and put their coven in a bad light because of this. I can't really blame him for being on guard and cut throat with accepting new members after this.

HEESEUNG

heejay being 7yearz going on 8yearz in real life is truly the basis of heejay in this fic, and consequently, Heeseung's characterization. much like in real life, i wanted them to have spent a lot of time together, which is why i wrote Heeseung as coming from 1235, which was the Goryeo era. Originally, I wrote Heeseung as coming from the late 13th century, but wanted to align his story with a real historic event. That's why I moved his year to 1235 where there were Mongol invasions, which led to him being injured, and then led to him being turned.

I think it's evident especially with the whole "While Jay is the storm, Heeseung is the calm before that" part, that I wanted to strike a balance with the characterization of heejay. To me it also felt so...idk, couple? so parents of them to be opposites in this way. It was like Tamaki going all out and then there's Kyouya, his silent and supportive right hand man. (from Ouran High School Host Club)

Which is why I leaned into Heeseung's laid back traits in real life and channeled his relaxed and easy going disposition. I just figured it would have been too difficult for Jake if both Jay and Hee were skeptical of him, so i thought let's make Heeseung someone who is a good judge of character, someone who immediately sees the good in Jake and becomes smitten.

I believe Heeseung acted as a bridge more than anything because jayke's bond was honestly the last to form, so he's a mediator in more ways than one.

With regards to the coven, it is mentioned that Heeseung is the second eldest, which means that next to Jay, he's the most respected because #age and #heirarchy and all. Also, no one would dare question Hee because he is after all, Jay's life long partner and lover.

In my mind, Heeseung is very wife in this fic, in the sense that most of the time he is Jay's voice of reason, lending his silent support especially during the times it is most needed. While the coven was founded by Jay, it would be crippled without Heeseung.

JAYHOON CONVO (OUTTAKE)

On the day that Sunghoon told Jake to come to the coven, Heeseung was the only one in the basement. Jay went grocery shopping and Sunghoon bumped into him on the way there. they both make an entrance while bickering

the door swings open and in comes Sunghoon and Jay, at each other’s neck. Figuratively.  “You should have told me beforehand!” “Well, I’m telling you now,”

Actually, they were fighting over Jake. The whole conversation goes like this:

"I told him he could join." "Who are you to decide that?" "Oh c'mon, aren't we like allowed to make referrals? like in companies? I'm pretty sure I should be getting a commission for recruiting him." "??? we are not a multi level company. Go bring your pyramid schemes somewhere else. Not to my coven" "But I already told Jake to come over," "You should have told me beforehand!" "Well, I'm telling you now"

their convo sounds pretty funny and sooo jayhoon in my head that i just had to share this even though it didn't make the cut in the fic

HWANGHON BREW

the heart of this fic (only actually partly, but the fact that this fic is named after the cafe make a big difference, no?) I'm not sure where this idea came from, I just figured it would be nice for them to have their own establishment. Like. #made by vampires for vampires. something like that, and thought hm, why not a cafe? so i went on to a name generator and it showed me a bunch of corny names for cafes T^T. I saw the word brew and it kinda stuck. So the next thing i did was to search for the korean words of vampire related things--moon, blood, twilight. And that's how i found the word hwanghon.

I put hwanghon and brew together, decided that i liked the sound of it, and put it as the working title while i was writing. i honestly didn't think that it would be the final title. I was just thinking of replacing it when i thought of something better, but fortunately i was unable to come up with anything that topped it DFAHAHAHA i am also so relieved I kept the title because i think it's so distinct? It has a very nice ring to it and makes it easy for me to search people talking about it on twitter HAHSDHF

here's the logo/symbol of hwanghon brew, and it's exactly as it is described in the fic

a crescent moon with the tips downturned, red rays dripping down from the middle. 

the red rays are an allegory to blood, hence why I used the word "dripping" to describe it. also, to me, the downturned crescent moon is a hollistic symbol of vampirisms. it is both a moon, and a pair of fangs. This symbol also plays a big part in the initiation because the necklace's pendant is in the same shape.

anyway, onto the system of hwanghon brew itself. Like Jay explained, the process of blood goes like this: human donations > health organizations > human government > high council > blood banks > vampire establishments (like HB) honestly, i didn't really consume much vampire media. i have never watched twilight or vampire diaries. the only knowledge i have of the collective concept of vampires would be from interview with a vampire, supernatural, a few clips from vampire knight, and a few panels from blood bank.

though i think the fact that i didn't really consume vampire media turned out to be a good thing in the long run, because I eventually had my very own take on the vampire universe and the world building. Though, it's not uncommon to have blood banks and whatnot, i just find it fascinating to have the vampire high council working hand in hand with the human government.

JAKE

oh my sweet Jake. he's just a baby girl, that's all. His characterization here isn't really far off from how i see him in real life? happy go lucky, very determined, absolutely resilient.

besides, i think that these are qualities of a person who can go through so much and come out of it stronger. these are the traits that would enable him to put his foot forward, join the coven, butter up to heejay, and go against a monster like khan.

however, while he is all those things---strong and brave, he is also very hesitant at the same time? He's the type to rethink his actions and mull over his decisions over and over again and question himself if he made the right choice.

he's also very conscious of the people around him, and he has his own insecurities, which to makes him feel more human than any of them, which also makes sense given that he's the youngest vampire.

EYE COLORS

I mention this throughout the fic--their eyes flashing inhuman colors whenever they're either hungry, protective, angry, etc etc. For Jake, it's blue. For Jay, it's red. This small detail isn't really important aside from the fact that only purebloods have red eyes, but I just got this idea from the japanese MV of given-taken. (actually, i rewatched that mv so many times while writing this fic)

GIFTS

it's mentioned in the fic that vampires develop gifts down the road. Jay's is super strength, Heeseung - telepathy, Jungwon - speed, Sunghoon - shapeshifter(?), Sunoo - gravity defiance, Riki - shadow manipulation/teleportation

Honestly, i just got this from the dark moon webtoon because i wanted to add a little flare to it lmao. Given, Jake's power would be fire. Initially, I thought of including his power in the fic. If I did, it would play out like this: jake getting beat up by khan > heejay comes to the rescue > khan puts up a fight, drives them into a corner > jake, livid that khan had hurt heejay, awakens his power and uses fire for the first time to protect them (wow, zuko who?)

but I decided to scrap that idea because I wanted Jay to be indomitable, and also kinda wanted Jake to play into that whole damsel in distress thing

anyway speaking of powers, if anyone's wondering why heeseung didn't just tap into jake's mind to find him, it's because heeseung's telepathy in this universe only works on covenmates. and since jake technically wasn't a member yet, he couldn't reach him.

THE INITIATION

actually, if i remember correctly, this idea came from one of my twt besties and gfs, nina. it makes sense of course, because they're a frat. and frats have initiations and it's just terrorizing new recruits, like Sunghoon said. They reason that it's to assess the new member (especially after someone like khan), they wanted to be more sure of new recruits--whether they'd play dirty just to be part of the coven.

Sunghoon also mentions that it's Riki who suggested to have initiations and that it usually consists of playing games (tag, hide and clap) but with a vampire twist. Not only does this allow the existing members of the coven to assess the new recruits physical abilities (speed, senses, etc.) but it also allows them to asses their decision making.

SUNOO, JUNGWON, AND RIKI

admittedly, I didn't put much details about these three compared to the hyung line for various reasons.

for one, I wanted Sunoo to be a mystery, and figured that would only be effective if I only gave out little information about him, leaving gaps and spaces for the readers to imagine. Which is why I mentioned that aside from Jay, no one really knows about his age or where he came from. (but his backstory is complete in my mind lmao.) also, I wanted Sunoo to be different from the other vampires, which is why he sometimes talks in shakespearean HAJSHA. AND I wanted his character to be different from all the other sunoos I've written. I just really love playing into the opposite of how majority of the fandom perceives him as well.

Jungwon, while being the coven's leader, only makes appearances once in a while. Despite his little screentime (sorry won I'll make it up to you), I wanted to make sure that he came across as reliable, especially since he is the coven's acting leader. Which is why he shows up to remind Jake to feed. To me, while he participates in initiations, he makes up his mind about the new recruits prior to that and acts based on this. He went easy on Jake because he actually liked him and wanted him to be a part of the coven, which is why he played along but gave back Jake's moon necklace in the end.

And Riki. He may seem like a playful vampire who's just there for the vibes, but he is also very perceptive. Like Sunoo, he plays a bigger part than what is implied, but I don't want to give out too much information bc I want to write a prequel HSDFHAHSD but yeah, Riki knows the streets and knows his shit.

well, that's that. Thank you for coming to my ted talk! I really enjoyed writing about my thought process while writing, and where I pulled inspiration from. I still think that I really outdid myself with writing this one and I think the comments I got just prove it. I love Hwanghon Brew with my whole heart and I am beyond happy that I get to share this with people who enjoyed reading it just as much as I had fun writing.

whatever i didn't cover here (like most of their character backgrounds, and khan) I will be including in the prequel. Anyway, speaking of the prequel, I've been told that some readers are curious about the timelines and the backstories of the members. I think if you pay enough attention to detail, you'd be able to gather a few hints about the timelines and their ages.

I do hope that if I ever do push through with it, you would be tuned in as well >< I have actually finished the outline, all that's left is actually writing it. I don't know when because I am unfortunately a busy college senior (writing her thesis and having her internship). But I do hope I get to do it soon because some of you really seem enthusiastic about it and it really warms my heart. Anyway, please consider this a love letter to the readers who enjoyed Hwanghon so much and showered it with so much love.

love u all ❣

[kitkatopinions]

Nitpick: Why the hell aren’t Sun’s teammates also based off of the Journey of the West characters? There were four guys making that journey and RWBY’s whole thing is teams of four, it’s shoulda been a no brainer. A monkey, a pig, a guy with a shovel, and a sage, and you’re done. Like, if SSSN actually had some kind of theme I wouldn’t care but they don’t. We got a monkey, a god of the sea, the boy who never grew up, and... Sage.

So, I fully agree that the other characters in Team SSSN being based on the other characters from Journey to the West is a good idea. As it is, I kinda don't think Scarlet and Sage should really exist (which I've got planned to talk about in an upcoming nitpick,) but them being based on the Journey to the West characters is way better than what we have. In my perfect world though, Blake would be the Tripitaka in the dynamic, with Sun obviously being Sun Wukong and the others in his team being based on Zhu Bajie/Pigsy, Sha Wujing/Sandy, and the White Dragon Horse.

But yeah, one of my problems with RWBY has always been that there's no real consistency at all, and the way Teams are built is definitely part of that. Team RWBY are all based off of fairy tales and each of them have a main base color, Team JNPR are apparently all based off of stories where there was crossdressing (which feels suspicious considering the queerphobia in Rooster Teeth and specifically the transphobia in things like the 'Jaune wears a dress' scene or Tai, Barty, and Port talking about Qrow in a skirt,) and Team FNKI are all 'based off of memes' which... An 'inside joke' isn't a meme but whatever. So supposedly there's meant to be something however stupid that ties characters in a Team together.

So what's the connection between the immortal Monkey King Sun Wukong, the Roman god of the sea and horses, Peter Pan the flying boy who will never grow up, and an Aesop's Fable about a sword. Like...???? Huh??? I can at least make a connection between Sun Wukong, Neptune, and Peter Pan, however forced, because they're all unaging or something, but where does an Aesop's Fable fit in?

Nah, you're right, if they had to exist at all, they should've just been based on the other characters in the Journey to the West.

[youllneverknowrac]

Oscar Diaz-Birthday Bash Pt.1

(Momma Bear Series)

“Birthday party today mommy.” Angel cheers as he is the first one awake out of the whole house, him and Alexander sleeping with you and Oscar like usual. He climbs on to your chest and grabs at your cheeks, wiggling them in his tiny hands,”Wake up mommy. I turn treeee.” He sings, your eyes opening slightly and a smile forming on your face.

“Three?” You ask, faking surprise,”Are you sure about that? You look like a baby to me.” You say as you tickle his sides causing him to giggle loudly.

“Yes! Party today, I’m a big boy.” He says before covering his mouth quickly,”Shhh daddy and Alex are sleeping.” He reminds as he looks over at them and then back to you with big eyes.

“That’s right.” You whisper as you stand up with him in your arms, letting him cling to your neck like a monkey as you walk out of the room,”Want to help mommy make your birthday breakfast?” You ask him, already knowing the answer as he shakes his head in agreement eagerly.

“I always help you silly goose.” He laughs joyfully, causing you to laugh as well.

“Silly goose?” You grin and press your forehead to his,”You’re the silly goose.” You tell him, he doesn’t reply and gives you a messy kiss on the mouth, laughing again seconds later. When you reach the kitchen you set him on the counter, his legs swinging back and fourth as they dangle,”Don’t jump.” You tell him seriously as you walk over to the fridge.

“I know mommy. Angel no jump.”

“Good boy.” You praise and pull open the door,”Now bacon or...sausage?” You ask him as you rummage through what you could make for your large family.

“Both!”

“Okay, only cause it’s your special day.” You smile and place both items next to him before going back to pull out what else you would need.

“And I want beans mommy! With skinny bread.” He smiles

“It’s called tortillas.” You laugh but nonetheless agree with his choices

“Skinny bread.” He retorts as you push him down further away from the stove before you light it up.

“Fine. Skinny bread, but don’t let daddy hear you say that. He’ll go on a whole rant about how it’s pronounced tortilla.” You say, the last word in a exaggerated Hispanic accent. Angel making a tight lip smile and acting as if he was sealing his mouth closed before throwing away the fictional key,”Lets get to it, I’m sure your brothers are going to wake up very soon.”

You get started on the very grand breakfast-cheesy scrambled eggs mixed with potatoes,beans,bacon,sausage and home made tortillas. Even going as far as making a pot of Abuelita Chocolate, all of your kids however preferring it cold so you mixed it in the blender with ice. As you come to a finish and pour some of the drink into Angel’s cup, a tired Oscar walks in with a very happy baby in his arms.

“Morning.” He yawns and comes over to give you and Angel a kiss on each of your heads,”Happy birthday Mijo.”

“Thank you papa.”

“I already changed him, but he wants some teta.” Oscar says as he stands behind you, the baby being held at arms length now.

“Let me see him.” You smile and take the now seven month old from him, pulling your top down just enough to feed him as you work on putting the final touches on everything,”Go wake up those kids of yours.” You tell your husband, doing as you asked with no questions. You hear him walk up the stairs, banging on Junior’s door first.

“Wake up huevón!” You hear him call out to your eldest son, pushing open the bedroom door and turning the light on,”Your mom cooked and it’s your brothers birthday so downstairs in five minutes.” He orders, moving onto Carlos and Anthony’s shared room next and doing the same.

“Wake up! I told you to not be up all night on that video game bullshit.” He says and shakes them awake, tossing the blanket off the both of them as they protest. You shake your head in amusement and serve the plates one by one, a bit hard since Alexander was literally attached to you. Oscar rejoining you a minute later and getting Angel set up in his booster seat before taking Alexander back and putting him in the hand me down high chair you’ve had since Carlos. The rest of the kids coming down together as they sit around the table, all of them thanking you and wishing Angel a happy birthday as well.

“Let me grab his food.” Oscar says and goes back into the kitchen to grab a jar of baby food for Alex, sitting back down when he returns. He feeds himself and the baby, you focusing on your own plate and occasionally helping the birthday boy make a taco with all of the items on his plate.

“It’s really good mommy.” Carlos smiles through a mouthful of eggs, Anthony giving you a thumbs up when you look his way.

“Yeah mom. I want pancakes when it’s my birthday though.” Junior grins before scarfing down some more food.

“Noted.” You smile, taking a bite of your beans when there is a sudden knock on the door,”I got it. It’s probably the water slide company.” You say and wipe your mouth quickly before going over to the door, your guess correct as two older men stand at the door with a big truck parked at the end of your driveway. You talk to them for a bit before showing them the side gate that they could use to set up in the backyard, making sure Oscar already payed before you head back in to finish the rest of your food.

“What time is Uncle Cesar coming over?” Anthony asks excitedly

“Soon, he’s showing up with Ruby so they can decorate for the party.” You reply as you grab your fork.

“Baby shark right mommy?” Angel asks

“Yes, Ruby knows you wanted a baby shark theme.” You laugh

“Wash your plates off if your done.” Oscar orders the older boys, doing as told one by one when they finish.

“Junior! I need you to go pick up the cake in a bit from the bakery.” You tell him, Junior groaning before Oscar gives him a look and he stops the words that were going to come from his mouth.

“It’s a five minute walk, you’ll be fine.” You tell him as you let Angel get out of his chair when he finishes, running over to the window and watching the water slide being inflated.

“Okay.” The teen says with a forced smile before trudging up the stairs, Anthony and Carlos following behind.

“Are you full papi?” You ask Oscar,”There was still a bit left on the stove, do you want it?”

“Yes please.” He smiles, putting a spoonful of the green colored food into Alex’s mouth. You get up with your empty plate and grab Oscar’s as well, placing yours in the sink before loading his up again.

“Here you go.” You say and place the plate down in front of him.

“Thank you mamita.” He grins and swiftly pulls you onto his lap causing you to laugh,”Can I have a piece of you too?”

“Mhm always.” You smile and peck his lips lovingly.

“Kissy for me too?” Angel asks as he walks over.

“Just one.” You joke as you stand and pick his small body up, giving him a peck as well before dipping him down so Oscar can do the same,”Now let’s let daddy finish eating in peace.” You say as you place him back down so you can grab Alexander.

“I’m going to put them in the bath while I shower. You better pick up after yourself.” You playfully warn before heading down the hall to your master bedroom. When you enter the bathroom you turn the water for the tub on, making sure it’s warm. Angel already undressing himself and hopping in. You undress Alexander as well before sitting him down next to his brother. The water not even reaching their belly buttons as you turn it off. You just decided it would be easier to put them in so you could shower real quick and get ready for the day while keeping them occupied,”Mommy’s going to shower, you watch Alex okay?” You tell the toddler, not really meaning it since the shower was two feet away and was made of glass.

“You got it mommy.”

You undress and throw all the discarded clothes into the hamper, tossing the diaper and pull up away as well before getting under the hot running water, your eyes on the boys at all times. You’re just about to finish up when Oscar walks into the bathroom,”Slides all set up.” He informs as he walks over to the sink so he can shave his face.

“That was fast.” You comment back, rinsing the conditioner out of your hair, both kids still splashing about in the tub,”Can you hand me my towel?” You ask nicely a minute later

Oscar stops his actions and reaches for your towel, waiting until you step out to wrap it around you,”Thanks.” You smile and dry yourself off as best as you can before pulling your silk robe on and tying it securely, the towel now wrapped around your hair and sitting on your head.

“Did Junior go already?” You ask

“Just left.” Oscar says, focusing on not cutting his face,”What did you have them make?”

“A tres leches cake and chocolate cupcakes.” Angel shouting in glee when he hears that,”Don’t take too long, your ass needs to fire up that grill.” You smirk at your husband as you join him in front of the mirror, pulling your make up bag from the drawer.

“Ya lo se, I’m hurrying. I gotta look good too, not just you.”

“Just saying.” You smile as you pull your stuff out to do a quick beat, Oscar mumbling something incoherent.

“Oooh make sure my burger is well done. Extra cheese on that shit.” You tell him as you prime your face, pushing his buttons every now and then being one of your favorite hobbies.

“Any other request reina?”

“Actually yeah, I’m going to want a hotdog. So make sure that it’s included on my plate.” You smile sweetly, Oscar putting down the razor as he looks over at you smugly.

“Tengo un hot dog para ti right here mami, all you gotta do is ask.”

“You always gotta make shit dirty.” You laugh as you continue on your face,”Almost twenty years together and your mouth still surprises me...don’t even say anything.” You say when you realize that he can also make a joke out of what you just said.

“You make it too easy.” He laughs, wiping his face off with a wet hand rag after, you just giggle in response. You let Oscar get the boys out and change them into their matching swim trunks. Oscar changing into a pair of cargo shorts and plain white tee since it was going to be a rather hot day and he would be outside, his outfit reminding you of when you guys were younger. Some would say simpler times but those words being the complete opposite for you guys.

[littleeyesofpallas]

Bleach - Name Games

Not a family by name or blood, but a kind of found family. (at least the way they were originally presented)  This time I’m tackling the Visored! And while I’m at it I want to address some of the broader thematic elements going on with their original character designs.  Buckle up, this is a long one... 

Hirako(平子) Shinji(真子)

Shinji’s name is actually kinda of a false start to this one.  His names read as “Flat-Child“ and “Real-Child“ but that’s keeping in mind that -ko(子) for “child” is actually just a really common suffix for names, and not one generally used to ascribe literal meaning.  (Typically because of its diminutive implications it denotes a female given name, but it applies neutrally to family names, and even generally is not uncommon in male names.)  So his name kind reads as “Flat Reality“ or “Flat Truth.“

But this one isn’t actually about the meaning of the words, it’s a different kind of name game.  As we all remember, when Hirako introduces himself to Ichigo’s class at Karakura High during his original entrance at the start of the Arrancar Arc, he writes his name on the board mirrored and mentions how he’s “good at doing things backwards.”  At the time it was a reference to him being a hollow (Remember that when Ichigo’s inner hollow was given a chapter cover, his “name” was Ichigo’s but written mirrored) and would later influence his zanpakutou, Sakanade(逆撫)

As an aside here, Sakanade(逆撫) has been kind of erroneously translated as “counter stroke” in English, which is technically accurate as a literal translation but is kind of needlessly vague; For one the word “Stroke” here specifically refers to the act of stroking as in petting, patting, or smoothing over, and not something like a sword stroke; secondly the “counter” here should read more obviously as “reverse,” “opposite,” or “inverted.”

Moreover, Sakanade(逆撫で) is an actual verb already, so it doesn’t actually need to be broken down in the first place.  The word actually means exactly what it sounds like as well as having a colloquial use as, “rub the wrong way.”  Yes, other than just meaning to literally “pet in the opposite direction” (as with petting a cat or dog from tail to head) it means “to irritate” or “to annoy,” (which the former action invariably does) and that is an apt description of Sakanade’s powers.

Anyway...  About Hirako’s name not being about the meaning: the joke is that whether you write the name forward or backwards 平子真子 -vs-  子真子平, you still get Shinji(真子) out of it.  As in, his name is still legible both forwards and backwards.  Plus both kanji, 平 and 真 have horizontal symmetry, so they don’t change when mirrored..

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Okay... let’s do an easier one...

Sarugaki(猿柿) Hiyori(ひよ里)

My personal favorite Visored, has a nice straight forward name Saru(猿) as I’m sure anyone amply familiar with anime knows means “Monkey” and the Gaki(柿) is the word for the fruit “Persimmon.”  The image of a monkey in a persimmon tree references an old folktale present in various east-asian cultures about a greedy monkey who cheats other animals before eventually receiving its comeuppance at the hands of the animals it has wronged.  In this case it’s reflective of Hiyori’s general image, sandles, track suit, decidedly tomboyish and unladylike; the “mountain monkey” is a poor, rural character type in Japan, not dissimilar to the American hillbilly of the Appalachia.

In that same vein, the name Hiyori(ひよ里) has a peculiar rural slant to it, in that it uses hiragana in place of the first component.  The ri(里) is a common place indicator in surnames meaning “village” or “hamlet” but like many Japanese surnames that reference landmarks like -kawa(川)“-river,” “-yama”(山)-mountain,” and “-da”(田)”-field,” the important part isn’t actually the locale but the descriptor preceding it; Which mountain?  Which river?  Which field?  Which village?  In the case of Hiyori, it’s not clear...  The fact that the village she appears to be named after doesn’t have a kanji again lends to this impression that, like the peasants of Soul Society’s Rukongai, the person who named her didn’t know how to read or write kanji.

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Muguruma(六車) Kensei(拳西)

I think this one has gotten pretty good visibility in the fandom already because of the relation with Hisagi Shuuhei.  The eventual explanation of Hisagi’s 69 tattoo would be that it was copied directly from Kensei’s, and that Kensei’s comes from a mix of his name Muguruma, and the fact that he was captain of the Gotei 13’s 9th squad. (Personally I don’t like this explanation, and I think there’s pretty reasonable cause to assume this was a later decision and not a part of Kensei’s original conception or design.)  But the reason behind that being Muguruma(六車) Mu(六) which is the Japanese numeral “6″ and Guruma(車) meaning “wagon” and later updated to mean “car.”  In the Turn Back the Pendulum sidestory, this name is played upon in how Kubo styled Kensei’s 9th squad as a Bousouzoku(暴走族) the term for a Japanese biker gang (although they often include sports cars), where the “Six Car” reading becomes emblematic of his gang.

There’s a lot about the Bousouzoku that is culturally specific to Japan, but much of the familiar American cliches do actually carry over.  One distinct aspect of how the Bousouzoku opperate however, is that they are predominantly a youth culture phenomenon, as any wide spread, organized criminal activity among adults quickly steps on the toes of the much better established Yakuza scene.  For this reason it is very rare for Bousouzoku to persist in direct group activity into their adult years, although often bikers become easy recruitment targets for Yakuza.

Kensei(拳西) is actually an odd one for me.  It’s both super straight forward yet somehow together really obtuse.  Ken(拳) for “Fist” and sei(西) for “West;“ both are pretty singular in their meaning, so it’s not like there’s any uncertainty to what each one means, but I can’t make heads or tails of the two together.  For one,  Ken(拳) is usually something you’d see put on the end of a compound, and when it’s used that way it tends to denote a kind of martial arts style or technique.  It might still be meant to read as “Western Fist” or essentially “Western [style] Fist” and Kubo just liked the sound of Kensei over Seiken.  It might be a reference to the fact that Kensei’s original design was largely reminiscent of a kind of military look and feel, with a combat knife for a zanpakutou, short hair, combat boots, and pants that look like they could be part of military fatigues. (the tank top sorta throws the look off, though.)  But this was a theme that was dropped by the time the Visored got reincorporated into the story after their long absence.

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Yadoumaru(矢胴丸) Risa(リサ)

...is another odd one.  Her surname, Yadoumaru(矢胴丸)  has pretty clear implications, Ya(矢) means “arrow” and dou(胴) means “hull” as in the part of a ship, and maru(丸) doesn’t actually have an explicit meaning.  The kanji does generally mean “round” or “whole” both in reference to a circle, but it is most notably a suffix used in naming both naval ships, and frequently boys.  Given the rest of the name the imagery seems clear, Yadoumaru(矢��丸) is meant to read as “Arrow-Hull Ship.“*  And although the uniform has heavy ties to school girl aesthetics and fetishism (which in turn link to her preoccupation with adult books) the tie here actually seems to be to the origins of the Japanese school girl uniform as a modification of the European naval uniforms introduced to Japan in the 1800s.

*edit: I’m an idiot.  A Yadou(胴丸) is the sleeveless chest plate and skirt piece in traditional samurai armor, which also carries over into kendo sports armor.

Adding to this, the name RISA (sometimes romanized as LISA) being written in katakana and not kanji or even hiragana works together with the naval associations would seem to imply she’s of mixed birth?  Possibly the daughter of a foreign naval officer stationed in Japan, hence a Western name and a ship as a surname?  In fact, most Japanese ships would be named after some mythical figure or indeed named like a person, so the literal descriptor of “Arrow-hull” actually sounds like what someone would call a ship they didn’t know the name of, tacking “-maru” on to the end.

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Let me also take a moment here to complain about the fact that Kubo originally wrote Rabu(ラヴ) and Roozu(ローズ) as katakana, pretty clearly denoting them as the English words LOVE and ROSE and while those seem pretty implicitly like nicknames it also implied in conjunction with their designs that they were both foreigners.  So the fact that he retconned them to being nicknames based on more conventionally Japanese when he decided to make them previously SoulSociety shinigami names bugs me...  But that being said

Aikawa(愛川) Rabu(羅武)

Man, what is it with Kubo and black people and “love” gimmicks?  Zomarri’s Amor, and PePe’s The Love, Love’s whole thing...  The name Aikawa(愛川) means “Love River,” and Kubo’s clever shorehorning of kanji into the phonetics for Rabu that he’d already used for the nickname Love use  Ra(羅) for “silk,” but specifically a thin or sheer kind, and bu(武) for “warrior”/”soldier.“  The associations with sheer silk and negligee seem very intentional, so his name really is basically “flowing love, [sexy] silk soldier.“  And that’s it, it’s actually super straight forward.  I dunno why he looks like an unemployed slacker, in a tracksuit and sneakers, lounging around reading manga, though.

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Otouribashi(鳳橋) Roujuurou(楼十郎)

This might be my favorite as far as name games within the Visored.  The given name Roujuurou(楼十郎) means “Watchertower 10 Son;” Rou(郎) being an exceedingly common suffix in boys names meaning “son.” (this is incidentally how anyone with a rudimentary familiarity with Japanese knew for certain Yuushirou(四楓院) was a boy at first glance, where as a bunch of other people thought he was a girl.  In case any of you were around certain fandom circles for that whole drama...  More on him later though, because he’s got a fun name too.)  It’s not super clear if the arrangement here denotes the “Son of the 10th Watchtower [family],” or the “10th Son of the Watchtower [family].”

The surname Otouribashi(鳳橋) is a great little work of poeticism, where Outouri(鳳) is the Japanese name of the Chinese Feng(鳳) which in the most colloquial sense could be translated as “Phoenix,” but there’s a little more to it than that...

See, the Feng is itself the male half of the mated pair of mythical birds together called the Feng-Huang(鳳凰).  The Japanese pronunciation Outori is actually directly taken from Ou(王) meaning “King” and Tori(鳥) meaning “bird.”  The mythical Feng-huang is in fact king of birds, but more broadly represents a union of yin and yang, and is a common visual element of Chinese weddings evoking harmony.  As a part of this theme of unity it is said to share features of many different birds, and also of the 5 fundamentally opposed colors associated with Chinese daoism and fengshui: Red, Blue/Green, Black, White, and Yellow.  This particular feature has been tweaked over time to depict the Feng-huang as more broadly multicolored, and associated with the rainbow.  (it’s also the basis of the Pokemon Ho-oh, if that wasn’t apparent)  For a number of different mythological similarities, the Feng-huang have become erroneously thought of as “the Chinese phoenix,” but I’m not going to get into all that here...

So, getting back to the name, Bashi(橋) means “Bridge.”  The, again false equivalence based, but more easily understood translation of Otouribashi(鳳橋) thus being “Phoenix Bridge.”  But what is shaped like a bridge and directly associated with the Feng?  A rainbow.  His family name is just a really fanciful and kind of poetic reference to a rainbow.  In conjunction with the “Watchtower” referenced in the name Roujuurou(楼十郎) I’m tempted to take to the meaning of “10th [Floor of the] Watchtower Son” as it implies a high floor, and in the common mythological motif of rainbows as actual physical structures, a high tower would be the sensible entry point to a rainbow bridge. 

Also this is why he has a bird mask.

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Kuna(久南) Mashiro(白)

Let me just come right out and say that I haven’t got a damn clue on this one.  Mashiro(白) means “White.” Ku(久) means “long time,” na(南) means “South.”  She dresses like a super sentai character, specifically one of the original Himitsu Sentei Goranger team, and her mask is a nod to Kamen Rider, with its antenna and big round bug-eyes.  I don’t really see a connection with the name and the tokusatsu theme though.

Small aside, Tokusatsu is a genre of Japanese TV and film that was originally named for its emphasis on special effects like camera tricks and editing in post, used most noticeably in children’s shows like Super Sentai and Kamen Rider.  That distinction became less and less relevant as special effects became more widespread, and so it is now used mostly to refer to live-action costumed super hero shows.

Super Sentai is btw the source material for the American franchise, Power Rangers, from which Saban Entertainment originally bought the footage that they would cut together with their own original footage, and later from which they would buy the costumes in order to shoot their own shows from scratch.

Also of note is that Ishinomori Shoutarou, author of the original Cyborg 009, was also the original show creator of Kamen Rider and Super Sentai.  His work created the transforming(henshin) hero, the body suit and helmet aesthetic, and the heroic billowing scarf, effectively inventing the Japanese superhero almost single-handed.

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Ushouda(有昭田) Hachigen(鉢玄)  

Another funky one...  “[To] Exist [in] a Shining Field” might be the best way to read Ushouda(有昭田)?  Its really the U(有) that gives me trouble here, as it just means “Exist”/”Existance.”  And Hachigen(鉢玄) seems to read Hachi(鉢) meaning “bowl” and Gen(玄) meaning “deep,” “mysterious” and in certain contexts “occult.”  I’m not sure if that “deep” is really a physical deepness or just a sort of “profoundness” that would fall more in line with “mysterious” and “occult.”

Either way I think the general meaning is actually pretty clear, “bowls of rice from a shining field” evoke an image of kind of mythical field of magical produce, eating from which grants a kind of magical quality and sustenance.  In other words, his name is saying that Hachi is such a huge guy and so gifted at magic because he ate a lot of food that grants magic power.

I have no idea why he has the tux or the shaved hair though.  Stage magician?  Fancy gourmand?  But again then why the shaved head and the cross bones?  And Kubo did eventually come up with for him is strangely Balinese looking?  It seems reminiscent of Barong, king of spirits; A benevolent lion/bear monster that defends mankind from Rangda, the demon queen and master of blackmagic.  But apart from the superficial appearance and broad ties to magic, there’s not a lot really tying the two together.

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It’s hard not to just go off on all the weird little design choices, and loose ends, dropped plot points, and retcon’d details that surround the Visored in Bleach.  They really were just such a great concept utterly wasted by terrible pacing and some truly confusing priorities as far as publication goes, eithe ron Kubo’s part, editorial, or both...  But that’s a story for another time...

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff ~ Seven of the Season: Amphibia

WARNING: Still ain’t new to making countdown lists, but I keep trying. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

Amphibia is quite a fresh series, and I’m not just saying that cuz 2016 Me had frog legs that one time. While I’ve reviewed it before, it puzzles me sometimes as to why I gush and admire this series so much. Maybe it’s the main cast, the great looking environments, the nice stories, the originality of it all, it takes my mind in quite a few directions on good days. So with the season over, I say let’s bring things back to center and look into the TOP 7 BEST Episodes of Amphibia’s debut. Seven, because it’s lucky, babey. Here we go...

7. Family Shrub

I was hoping for a good hangout with Anne and the kids and this episode stood upon the rest spectacularly. Unfortunately it’s far down the list for subjecting me to the most horrifying image in the entire show and that is a fact. But seeing Anne, Sprig, and Polly go through the home’s catacombs and discover something new about themselves, topping off with the most badass moments from Sprig and Polly, was flexing to say the least. It got me intrigued in how Sprig will pursue the arts and sciences, who will Polly be grown up, how will Anne think of herself later down the line after being with the family for so long. I honestly hoping for more episodes like this, without the scaring horror please.

6. Fiddle Me This

Am I re~~ally gonna put an episode on this list solely because of Sprig’s incredible fiddle playing? Yes.............................

5. Civil Wart

Man, there’s just something about cartoon episodes about fandoms that can really strike a chord with ya. Or keystroke, you know, interests. This was a surprising fit for a sibling rivalry episode between Sprig and Polly, with the two sides being completely in line with their built character. You probably could have a field day trying to figure out what inspired all of this. With a lovely ending to top off the great jokes that came within a huge, wonderful joke itself, this just added to the streak of fandom episodes that never cease to be entertaining.

4. Anne Theft Auto

I’ll say Bessie is an underrated character, and getting to know her history along with Anne was a poignant moment that made me more invested in this series as a whole. I love learning is the key to experience and getting out of a jam. The scene where Anne goes to finish that book when the adventure was over especially tied things up so well, following that up with one of the most memorably hilarious moments of the show so far. Even the B plot with Sprig and Mrs. Croaker kept this episode afloat with its amazing punchline. But above all, this made me respect Bessie a lot more, and the couple of callbacks to this episode further solidify this thought with of how much she contributes to the Plantar family.

3. Wally and Anne/Cursed!

(& Monkey’s next line will be “perception is quite a key theme for the series”)

Perception is quite a key theme for the series... *gasp* NANI?! Amphibia shares that surface-level assumption isn’t a good sociable trait to have and these episodes are very complimentary to each other in that aspect. What’s great about these and episodes like these is that, like previously, you’re generally with Anne and/or Sprig to see and appreciate a dimension of Wally and Maddie that you haven’t seen before up ‘til now (that’s why I’ve come to like Pacifica more than Mabel). And as @jennydyn cleverly pointed out, Wally and Maddie have only visible eye each, which makes “more than meets the eye” a lot poignant than a clever pun I just figured out writing this. Again, the message can be on-the-nose, but the wholesomeness of it all is strong.

2. Hop Pop and Lock

I adored this episode. Nobody was in or got into any danger, nothing was really at risk, and the only bit of chaos was that off-beat dancing like woof. While Anne does try to make Hopadiah dance a certain way, she and the siblings had his back regardless. In the end they didn’t so much win the crowd but Hop Pop got Sylvia’s heart, and that was what mattered. It was especially fun to see Syl and Hop Pop get nuts together to then have a nice slow dance with Sprig dishing well on fiddle. What else to say? The episode was fun from start to finish.

Honorable mentions: Night at the Inn, Toad Tax, Plantar’s Last Stand, Taking Charge

1. Best Fronds/Reunion

It is reasonable to call these episodes dusk and dawn? Can’t say night and day cause that would mean they’re utter opposites, nah these episodes both work the tightrope together between giving Anne a realization and a revelation. The crew says ‘Best Fronds’ was the original first episode and I believe them in that it plants the seed in Anne’s mind that her original friendships weren’t what they seemed. Sprig was notably the first to make Anne think differently, about herself and her sense of bonding with others. And after literally and figuratively getting her hands dirty to protect and be with those she’s grown to love, the seed has grown strong to confront somebody that she feels has pushed her one too many times. While it’s reasonable to say she hasn’t fully understood, Anne at least grasped that what Sasha was pulling, regardless of intent, wasn’t gonna cut it anymore. And what makes the finale work, out of everything, is that even when you know Anne has grown up and is willing to fight Sash for the fate of those that have treated her better thus far, you know that Sasha isn’t a full on bad guy. They’ve given her some well needed dimension early on and with her sacrifice, she knows that even when Anne was willing to risk her life for her, willing to bet she doubted that she’d be able to return that favor well enough. So they split. Until another time. In the least, they have those who care about them, for better or for worse.

Not only are these episodes just well constructed and paced in their own right, they build off each other well. Both offering us how Anne’s growth started and gradually risen without making it all feel cut and dry. In addition to culminating quite a bit from previous episodes into a solid climax of sorts. Certainly sandwiched Part 1 to be a wonderful start to this series all together.

As such, it’ll certainly be a wait or so until we return to this world. And really, I’m up to the wait. I enjoyed this series 100% and I recommend wholeheartedly if you’re up for another world adventures. The series has certainly proved itself. All that said, I’m Monkey Makaveli, and that’s all I got.

[strawberryybird]

Me sees the character songs post, immediately wants to know what character songs you have for the characters and why.

ok so. welcome to the rabbit hole that is my music taste and what is my no.1 most frequently done activity.. plastering emotions i have for fictional characters all over my music taste. I restricted myself to ¾ songs for each character & then to Edie, Hubert, Dorothea, Lysithea & Byleth because otherwise we’d be here all day (and those are the Primary Daydream Candidates rn)

under a rm because as im sure we’ve all seen.. i just don’t fucking stop.. also i got weirdly deep about some of these topics. i don’t know how to tag it. tread careful?

Here are some songs.. welcome to my (notoriously bad) music taste. alsoi go in Very heavy handed about it all. i make only a few apologies:

Edelgard:Everybody wants to rule the word - tears for fears. (ucan go with Lorde’s cover but i prefer the original bc im like that.) i meanit’s pretty heavy handed but it’s such an Edelgard song it !!!! fuels my ficwriting. if it’s not so very Edelgard’s relationship with twsitd then idk whatto tell you. plus it’s an iconic song

Medicine - daughter. (daughter is My Favourite Band. Ever. I cannot articulate how much ilove their (and ex:re’s) music!!) anway. this is a hegegard song & i don’ttake constructive criticism. I’ll reiterate this better in other descriptions,but please don’t take my inclusion of a song about such a topic as adevaluation of it in any way, that’s not my intention. The reason I go so feralfor Hegegard is because im no stranger to watching someone you care about hurt themselvesin a way you can’t stop, and that’s what the AM ending evokes in me. Hence: asong I love that one can read the same story in. And then the lyrics ‘You couldstill be / What you want to / What you said you were / When I met you” just !! parallelsEdge of Dawn’s lyrics about regret & overall I’m very feral about this.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - blue oystercult. this is PRIME Edelgard telling freshly-awokenbyleth she’s been waging war for 5 years. also !!!! “Seasonsdon’t fear the reaper / Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be likethey are” >>> “The Edge of Dawn (Seasons ofWarfare) (フレスベルグの少女～風花雪月～,lit. Girl of Hresvelg ~Wind, Flower, Snow, Moon~)” .. the link is tenuous but coincidence?? is it, fuck.

Seneca - Novo Amor. this is another one of those songs that could mean something different to everyone. very easy to project onto, is novo amor. I like the story of being prepared to run and break ties at any given moment, but ending up - emotionally or physically - in the same place one always was. apart from the glaring tie of how Edelgard returned to garreg mach, this song is a lot of me trying to repatriate Edelgard’s lack of emotional arc in the game by saying . well. this song. 

You can call me Al -  paul simon. am i projecting edeleth thoughts onto my favourite song? it’s morelikely than you think!!! but also i like the chorus and all the exasperating ‘call me el’jokes i can make.. i may be half writing a fic based on this song.

Dorothea:Agnes - glass animals. so i have significant emotions about edelthea at the best of times !! and this song !!! really bloody hits it home !! yes I knowit’s got a really heavy and real subject matter and I’m not trying to devalueit or minimise it.. but the story - about watching someone close to you hurtthemselves/get hurt, and doing so in ways you can’t stop them from - is adamn real one. And a Lot of why I love Dorothea’s character in the gamebecause she’s the one who can’t stop her friends from getting hurt – through exposureto warfare .. or  stopping Edelgard becomingthe monster at the end of the story. Even though she’s one of the healers onthe beagle’s team. And I feel that.

Ex’s and Oh’s – Elle King. So you know that one spn fanvid featuringthis song about all of dean winchester’s relationships? That, but for my flirting Queen Dorothea Arnault. (and I have the dumbest most fun little headcanon thatonce Dorothea and Sylvain derailed a lgbt+ society meeting whilst Edie wastrying to go over the budget by blasting this song and dancing on the table.The idea makes me laugh)

Hold My Girl – George Ezra. The whole thing about wanting just that onemoment to cherish the people you love for one moment more before you have goout face the world? If that’s not the timeskip’d Dorothea Arnault Aesthetic, Idon’t know what is.

(Call Me Out – sea girls. On a much lighter note, this song is fueling the later half of mydrafts of road trip au. And it’s literally because of that one verse. im gayshut up.)

Hubert:Red Right Hand – nick cave and the bad seeds. Is it on the nose? Is itheavy handed? Oh u fuckin bet but that won’t stop me!!! A) it’s a good song. ItIs. B) I like narrative songs. C) Any ‘red right hand’ symbolism in Anycharacter has me love them immediately and also plonk this song in the middleof any playlist about them. sure, the artic monkeys version might be a bit more on hubert’s brand.. but my mileage varies about it lmao

I had fortress by bear’s den earmarked for Hubie, as I think it’s easilyread about boundaries and a one sided intense relationship & that’s! Hubiebaybee! But I can’t possibly cover unhealthy relationships without shoving thealbum Hospice by The Antlers into every which way of it. It’s by no meansdirectly translatable to Edelgard and hubert’s relationship and it’s arguable ifI should even mention it in the same sentence as a bloody fictional character… that beingsaid, I’ve been having emotions about:Shiva – the antlers. This song specifically reads to me to be a really goodarticulation of my own thoughts about Hubert’s perspective of Edie getting experimentedon. heavy but damn. I like that. I just see a lot of what their teen years togethermust have been like in Shiva.

Time – Pink Floyd. Ok so.. it’s like Hubert in parallel bc I think thissong is a lot about searching for a purpose/reason or a quote unquote bloodyred path in life. And I may have been listening to it when I watched Hubert/DorotheaA support & now it’s just permanently associated with it bc it complementedit so well. And I like it. So . it stays. It’s very much a beagles song to meas well.

Lysithea:The Beautiful Dream – George Ezra. Ok so I read this Edelysithea ficwith this on repeat bc the title reminded me of it, and then I stuck it onrepeat because it worked too well and now.. im crying.. and i like the inflection of Lysithea’s bitterness over the titular lyric. (but also, it remains one of my steadfast edeleth songs.. sorry lys)

Secrets (Cellar Door) – Radical Face. Another Edelgard&/Lysitheasong!! I really like their relationship ok. And given the song itself can beread straight or an allegory for whatever you particularly want, but the storyis just too on the nose for me not to mention it here.(also general advocation of listening to the whole of radical face’s musicbecause I’ve loved it for years now & the work is beautiful.) (also it’swonderful for fe awakening projection. Or ur own.)

Oh Children – nick cave and the bad seeds. there’s a million different interpretations of this song, but to try nail a few onto Lysithea.. there’s the harry potter use of making/finding a light in the depths of tragedy & i love that for Lys. there’s the whole ‘the kids aren’t alright’ theme and it’s various depths. and i like narrative lyrics to plaster my large fictional-character-caused-emotions onto, so make of this one what you will.

Marianne (and Lysithea too if you like)Bad Blood – Radical Face. Ok so. This is one of my favourite songs in bloodyexistence, and it’s so loaded with meaning & it has a metric tonne of it. Icould wax lyrical about how much I love Radical Face’s work. I don’t want myinclusion of this song (specifically this one) to in any way devalue it. Butmusic is ofc incredibly subjective, and so is my reading of a lot of threehouses – in case it’s not bloody obvious by now. There’s a Lot of stories onecould take from Marianne’s character (and none of them are More Valid^tm thanany other), and I do see a very personal story in her – as I do in this song. Hgghhghive just spent 10 minutes trying to find an impersonal way to talk about twovery personal and relative stories, which naturally doesn’t work. That, and theway I read her story is Real Fucking Dicey for tumblr.com. so if this song is about accepting rejection because of parts of yourself so deep they’re in your blood, i think.. y’all can see.. where my neurodivergent gay self is going with this..

Byleth:Something to Believe In – Tom Walker. Yeah. You’re bloody welcome. If this isn’ta completely on the nose Byleth song, I’ll eat Dorothea’s hat.

Don’t Let the Man – Fatboy Slim. ~ And the sign said green-hairedpartially possessed emotionally void mercenaries need not apply for aprofessorship at the country’s most prestigious academic centre… ~

Emigrate - Novo Amor. this just fucking Got Me in the ‘actively choosing crimson flower’ feelings. im an emotional wreak but its aight. the lyrics just matched up too well for me to let it go !!!

Alps - Novo Amor. this hit me in the ‘i miss the gremlin child sothis’ feelings one day and now it’s permanently stuck that way.

Make Them Gold – chvrches. (this is very much associated with awakening’sfuture past kids and also the Carmilla series in my mind But!!) I love a story about‘if we’re all falling, we’re going down together’ and the magical power of teamwork, and how it brings out the best in people.. & that’s what this song& Byleth kinda bloody stand for ya know??

woooh.. oh my god . i need another cup of tea.

[theonceoverthinker]

🔥 for Kim and Ron’s relationship and general dynamic

Kim and Ron -- to put it simply -- are as flawless of a duo as they come!

A show like Kim Possible relies on a certain (Read: Incredible) level of silliness in order for the premise of a teenage spy with absolutely no pretense of a secret identity to work. Kim Possible could only have worked as a comedy. Because of that, you need a constant source of comic relief to set up and maintain the stream of jokes as well as someone to bounce off of them.

This is why, like with Drakken and Shego, Kim and Ron work so well. 

Ron provides this perfect amount of comic relief where he’s funny and sometimes annoying, but never too annoying as well as framed appropriately so when he is. And more than that, he’s a part of the team and the creators were intelligent about how they portrayed Ron. While it’s never hidden that Ron is a doof -- not super athletic, not smart enough to be the techie of the team, not even the most emotionally intelligent person on the team -- there’s never a question of why Ron is part of Team Possible. This comes down to a few things. First, the ages of the team allow for the excuse of “he’s my best friend” to be all the excuse that someone would need for why Ron can come along on missions. Second, and most importantly, pieces of the story like “A Stitch in Time” show his importance to the broader story of saving the world from baddies. Ron is someone who Kim trusts completely, someone who trusts her completely, and is in many ways in sync with her. Even if Kim needs to give orders from time to time, she knows that Ron will pull through.

This is so important because Kim never has to earn Ron’s (Nor Wade’s) respect, as a crime fighter nor an equal. A lot of the charm of Kim Possible is how Kim is the show’s badass crime fighter and this never gets questioned by the team and a large part of the cast, and her dynamic with Ron is the best display of that. Imagine if that wasn’t the case and how abhorrent Ron would be instead of the subversive, sensitive, and dynamic characterthat he is now as a sidekick to Kim who gets to show other aspects and talents for himself as a talented baker, a male cheerleader, a reluctant monkey kung fu master, and an eventual football star and all the stories and bits of growth that come from them!

And let’s talk about Kim!

Kim’s not only the star of a girl power show, but is the embodiment of the girl power fantasy. She gets to save the world, get cool and portable gadgets, travel to exotic locations, has a good relationship with her parents, has great grades in school, is in fantastic shape, holds down at least one steady extracurricular, and her male teammates look to her for practically unquestioned leadership. But notice how no one ever really accuses Kim of being a “Mary Sue.” Kim is given normal problems -- she has at least one hardass teacher, a bully, gets painfully shy around boys, has two brothers who love to prank her, and does have occasions where she can’t balance her tasks or fails to succeed at them. Kim is such a three dimensional character.

And as to her function within the duo is not only to play the straight man to Ron’s antics, but more often than not, Kim’s character gets the “deeper” stories, making sure that within all of the grand adventures, there’s something to be built to. Granted, the “deeper” is in parentheses for a reason -- her issues tend to be at most, stories about parents or parental figures needing to let go and trust her abilities and at least, involve her running for cheer captain (I feel the need to emphasize that these lighter conflicts are not at all a bad thing) -- but the theme of the episode is more often than not tied to her growth within the episode or movie’s confines. While a show doesn’t need a theme to be good, a sense of theme can propel a show when called for.

And they can even swap too!

Kim and Ron, when needed to swap roles between the straight man and the goof, can do it so easily. It doesn’t happen a lot, but when Kim is too sucked into the drama of the day, so much so that she 180′s into indulging more of the qualities one would normally associate with being a teenager -- Ron is able to take over. And it’s not like he becomes Kim and there are no jokes from him -- there absolutely are, just as Kim doesn’t go full stop zany, but he shows that there’s an ability to focus, deduct, and sacrifice when he needs to in order to protect his friends and the world at large.

And I love them as a couple! Kim and Ron’s relationship was not only well built up, but when the fourth season provided an opportunity for there to be more substantive payoff to them getting together, they took advantage of it! Kim and Ron’s relationship walked the tightrope between not being mentioned enough and taking over the series entirely flawlessly. Most every episode had a moment of fluff between them and there were stories that had emphasis placed on their relationship, but the tone and adherence to the kinds of stories that made Kim Possible what it was stayed entirely intact, making Season 4 so enjoyable to watch!

Wow. This went on long...I’m bad at ending things off. So, Kim and Ron just...rule! Goodnight!

[themilokin]

14, 17, 29, 30, 31

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

Oh god. Oh no. The LONGEST LIST…

The Historical Preservation Society of Fandolin - My first ever dnd party playing Lost Mines of Phandelver! This was a bunch of years ago and I still have very very fond memories. We got our name by a scheme that managed to get us a 1v1 fight with a necromancer and then later an invitation to see some bugbears but that turned out less good. Comprised of Flint the Dwarven Cleric who 100% started a table-wide superstition of warhammers never hitting their targets, Taris the Half-Orc Paladin noble who originated the scheme, Tilwynn Syrr (Mr. Sir)- my wood elf rogue- who continued the scheme and butted heads with Taris repeatedly, and Eileer- a wood-elf beastmaster ranger who we called Grandma for her age and general personality. It was a wild few months.

Ghostbusters - A hard-scrabble group of idiots fight off supernatural threats and actual cannibal Shia LeBouff in the Magic The Gathering setting of Innestrad. The first campaign my girlfriend and I got to play together, and her first campaign! Comprised of her Ness (a Hunter Ranger with RIDICULOUS damage output), my Vermillion Kade (assassin and group dad), a Fighter that died to a Shambling Mound and came back as a Bagpiping Bard whose names elude me, Nessnemo (Nemo for clarity- a barbarian whose outfit consisted of primarily straps and little else), and Anders (A druid who caused the tablewide joke of ‘Bear in a Banquethall’ whenever players do something Very Ill-Advised because they missed a detail of description). We also saw a character named Chrodechild in this game while I took over for a Birthday Two-shot DMing stint.

OG Sendra - The first attempt at a full-length campaign. Comprised of Chrodechild the enchantress that eventually face-heel-turned into a villain, Lorelai Elffei the thief from a town of children who died and came back, Nemo (once more, but tiefling this time), Eseka the Halfling Monk/Bard performer in a circus (I THINK to melil, actually) who died and was restored, and Feverfew- the Drow Warlock of the Archfey.It had a pretty high character-swap-and-death rate. Feverfew the warlock died and became Patrin the Dragonborn Paladin who was then ALSO killed, and Kanseif the Human Barbarian Warrior Princess came about to replace him. Chrodechild turned evil and was replaced with Rhadha the crippled tiefling warlock who had made a deal with hags and had a long contract full of stipulations. Brill had to depart after character moments occurred and came back as Sylvienne Ghost- an Aasimar druid and Therapy Dog. There were further character swaps later on, but by the time they occurred the campaign had begun to grind to a halt.

Shards of the Past - A campaign run by a friend. The party was gathering the broken fragments of a rod of Manticores to fight back against the northern Empire. We were contracted by the queen to do so and BOY we sucked at it but we sure did win the war! A human paladin (whose name escapes me) with a lion-steed named Balthazar, Kestral the human Ranger-assassin (who had bird-themed names for her whole family it was rad), and my gnome Wizard Sullivan Orren du Ghislain-Ameritte III, who slowly descended towards lawful evil as the game progressed. It was a WILD romp. 

ThreaTTT - My second stab at DMing! The players awoke in prison after a night of wildly out-of-hand carousing and had to pay off their debt to society in service to Drann’s public. Mostly monster hunting and character-driven, the first introduction of The Timeless and Sliver of Moon! Party consisted of Tor (half-elf half-dwarf bard who was locked in an endless one-sided rivalry with Fortesque D’artigan- another half-elven bard), Risc Taxis (an assassin from the Talons, the southern Thieves and Assassin’s guild in Sendra, and an addict to Celadon- a opiate that stains fingers blue), and Atonement/Toni- an Aasimar Archfey warlock who was fleeing an engagement and was beholden to the whims of her 12 year old patron. They more or less made a thrash metal band by level 5, and Cera- a merfolk enchantress prostitute- joined up with them after a trip to the Stormlashed Sea. Her name didn’t fit the scheme, but she was loads of fun.

Pile of Idiots/Fortune’s Favor/Dumb Luck - You know this one, Muffin. ;P Comprised of a Fireball-Happy Endlessly-Curious sorcerer, an Extra As Shit 4 Elements Monk, the Queen of the Sea herself, The Worlds Best Bard, Smol Druid with Smol Doggo frond, and Beefest Lizard Tank, these idiots try and save the world- or at least get by.

Trees Beneath the Seas - A campaign that got very away from us, and where Moon received most of his character development. It was a huge party, which I think detracted a bit from the potential RP fun, but I got to be RECKLESS. We had Damon Pyre the Half-Elf-Half-Dragon Sorcerer, Durieal Durnam the OP monk that was killed by the weapon he carried, Saneva Amailo the hexblade warlock of Garagos and certified Edgelord Supreme, Quv the gnome-turned-elf rogue that left and whose player came back with Rue the Pumpkin Queen the human druid, Amaya Arissius the wood-elf Horizon Walker Ranger (who died and was reincarnated as a human), Verath the Dragonborn bard, Persephone O’Dougal the Canim forge cleric, Braugen Rowcron the dwarf barbarian who came back later as Satsuss the yuan-ti artificer, Arlow Rathers the paladin of Illmater and best baker the world has ever seen, Waruk Flamesong the half-orc wizard/cleric who sank the world, and finally Sliver of Moon who robbed, lied, and smooth-talked his way into and out of worlds of trouble as a swashbuckling rogue-fighter-paladin-sorcerer (we got to lvl 30 shit got WEIRD).

Harder Than We Thought - Thrush’s game! We played on the continent of Sivaan- slowly coming under siege by a power called The Parody that wanted to make the whole world just a liiiiiiiittle more interesting. Evelynn Mercado (Parsippany Olapieros) the half-elf blade-bard with ten tons of swagger in a ten ounce body who was looking for her father and making her own name in the world, Thrush Marigold the endlessly sunny sun-soul monk who was learning about his tiefling heritage while looking for his mother, Sir Tim the Halfling Hero For Hire Paladin who was making his tiefling lover and his son proud, Dune the bloodhunter with a Big Problem with hags, ‘The’ Wothe the more traditional halfling bard who was potentially about to be Thrush’s uncle by marriage, Perryn the Air Genasi Beastmaster Ranger and prankmaster general, and a dragonborn sorcerer I cannot recall the name of with terrible eyesight.

Punk! - A portal-fantasy run by our Innestrad DM, with a fantastic set up where he said he had to take a call during our session 0 and walked out. We then all got messages at the table saying he’d been replaced and to not trust him, and when he came back his whole body language was changed and then ‘sucked us into a portal’ via his tome of handbooks he got rebound into one HUGE book. We all played ourselves but better, and it was wild.

Umber Wilds/Aspiring Cryptids - One I’m currently running on mondays! A group of adventurers Doing Their Best. Audhilde Stoneforger is the Eldritch Knight and Battle Goddess who can leap up to 170 feet because I’ve broken my own will. Larken Delmare is the human shadow sorcerer who used to be an elf and came back wrong, she’s got ties to the first lands of Thielle and is dealing with Coming Back Wrong as best she can. Yseult Brighton is a water-genasi grave cleric with both Selune and Shar claiming portions of her soul, she’s been dubbed the World’s Okayest Cleric and is basically a fishbowl made of friendship. Lastly there’s Ekaterina Sheralova, a drow Gloomstaker Ranger with the most flamboyant fashion and cat-like personality whose family is probably going to wind up killing her or trying to.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

BIG CRITS! You max your primary damage die and then roll the second, so you’re always hitting big when you get that nat 20! I have to beef so much health because of this.

Flanking - Instituted around the In-Person table: when you flank you get a +2 to hit, not advantage. It’s less OP that way.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Usually RP heavy sessions are my favorite thing, but sometimes you just want to hit something. XD I’ve found I really like a healthy dose of both, but I love it when the combat functions to fuel RP, so RP is probs my more favorite kind.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

They’ve trended more diplomatic! I’m grateful for it, and it’s neat seeing what pushes characters into ‘murder’ when they start out with diplomacy.

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Oh golly, probably Rogue or Paladin for favorite class, but Bard is up there too. I love versatility, and Rogue and Bard are skill monkey classes that are super fun. Paladin’s whole ‘strength from your belief in an ideal’ is also hella fun tho, I like it when paladins draw power from belief not in a god, but in a principle that guides them. Favorite race is harder, I don’t really have a favorite- but I know I dislike playing as Dragonborn, Aarakokra, and Lizardfolk personally. They’re just not for me, I think.

[nautiscarader]

Kim Possible season 3 recap

And here is part 3 of my KP marathon notes. Obligatory thanks to @fereality-indy for encouraging me to watch this awesome show. 

So, what will happen this this time? Will Kim Possible save another kitten from a tree? Will Ron discover something better than nachos? Will Doctor Drakken release the Krakken? Will Shego puncture her ego? Will Lord Monkeyfist buy Club Banana just because he is bonkers? Will Duff Killigan finally score?

So, let’s see what’s the first big problem KP has to deal with!

Kim being alone on a Friday evening. Okay.

Also, amusingly, everyone is doing something on a Friday evening, including the villians. 

Motorhead turns out to be Drakken’s cousin. okay.

And people know the address of Draken’s lair bc of mailing list

See, it’s the little touches like those that make this show a very accurate portrayal of superheroes and villians. 

KP gets jealous of Ron’s friend in wheelchair because they spend too much time together playing video games, so she has to find a way to “fit in”.

Okay, so they can approach it in a sensible and subtle, or so-cringe-worthy-and-painful-the-skip-button-presses-itself way.

So, which did they choose?

painful it is

Few stupid scenes later, Draken STEALs THE WHEELCHAIR FROM A DISABLED KID

shego: what’s next, stealing lolipop from a baby?

and there is a brilliant running joke about it

is it ableist to say that a joke about disabled person is “running”? Well, this is tumblr you gotta be carfeul

Anyway, turns out that Drakken and Jake the Dog make an actual competent combo, even though they end up in prison. And momma Lipski is still clueless about her son’s profession

Next ep: KIM CHANGED HER HAIR! and she looks cute

Ron is a pickle, but that’s normal

Draken and shego steal moodulators (get it?) from random scientist #464

Shego: if you are so smart why do you always steal instead of inventing things yourself

Draken: it’s called outsourcing, shego

God d amit, that is a smart show. 

And of course moodultaors accidentally fall on KP and SHego, so they act random throughout the day. And boy it is weird when it’s set to loveskick

Shego: steals lolipop from a baby for Drakken because she luvs him

KP turns into  a proper stalker mode for her Ronnie

And Monique is completely fine with it. 

and then kim KISSED him!!!

OMG NOSEBLEED

And then poor Ron has no idea what to do with dating KP so suddenly, and the whole scene where he debates what to do is absolute gold with a punchline that defies expectations. 

Draken and Shego go on a date and boy it is weird. SHE CATWALKS TO HIM

I can already see Disney censors thinking when it’s going to be too much for The Mouse

and kim’s dad threatens to send ron to a black hole when he takes her on a date

Also the random professor wants to sell his no-longer-existent moodulaTors on auction and he thinks about blaming it on the mail. You know, i’ve seen some approaches how to handle a world where superheroes/villians/geniuses live in our society (like in BNHA, for example), but KP so far makes it the best approach, because it makes them so relatable. 

And boy the finale is satisfying because everything completely backfires

Shego and KP got stuck in an anGry mode, and chase their boys. Ron tries to hide in the same place as drakken

Drakken: Dibs!

Ron: Double dibs!

Drakken: all right, you won with your superior dib-calling (ACTUAL QUOTE)

And the day is saved thanks to the power of friendship and not that Kp and ron are definitely in love with each other

KP, Ron, Drakken and Shego somehow manage to get into Tv, where they visit parodies of famous shows

Honestly, meh. I remember a similar episode of Teen Titans, that one was funny as heck.

and then we find out who’s the real villian of the middleton high: THE SCARY LIBRARIAN!

And turns out Ron accidentally put a book Kim rented in his backpack, causing her to get into trouble doing library duties. 

So he goes on a mission to revisit all of the bad guys they fought to see where he might have left it

Okay: calling it now, it’s still in his backpack

Shego: Where’s Possible?

Ron: She’s not my girlfriend!

Shego: Never said she was. 

And Ron accidentally saves the world on that book hunt

Lord Monkey:Ron Stoppable!

Ron: You’re the only one, who remembers my name, I respect that

Okay, so Wade can make stuff invisible. Like, how?

And there we go: the book it was in his backpack all the time. 

Oh, and Ron takes a book from Lord Monkeymonkey contaning a spirit of a monkey demon.

And he returns to the library, saving Kim from being bored to death by retunring the book. 

GUESS WHICH ONE HE RETURNED.

Oh, it was another half-episode. Weird. 

And the next one is about giant bugs. Interesting how Kim tells Ron not to be afraid of bugs, and next moment she’s all squirmish while Ron befriends a giant roach and calls him Roachie. 

KP: Ron, did you start working on the project? it was supposed to be autobiographical

ron: No, I’m waiting for it to write itself.

WE MIGHT GET RUFUS’ BACKSTORY!

Oh, and Drakken tried to take over the world with shampoo. Honestly, it’s funny as heck

he tries smarty mart to sell it

he even makes loreal-style ad, but it doesn’t sell

so he tries product placement in a hip hop song, and the artists is like “Aw, hell no”

And then 

and then

turns out that Shego and Drakken are having karaoke night every friday.

God dammit, i don’t know why but that is beyond funny

and turns out that Drakken can sing. 

and shego points out that he could sing about the shampoo

so he goes to an american idol

And I think I realise what really makes it funny: Kp is barely in this episode, helping ron with homework. No evil-doing is actually done, we only get to see, for the most part what goes behind the scenes of an evil plan that is so insanely and unnecessary convoluted it is beyond belief. 

OH, AND kp GETS TO RIVAL HIM ON STAGE, OF COURSE.

people hypnotised by the shampoo so far: one (1) random henchman

one (1) old TV producer in a sauna 

one (1) Simon Cowell

And...holy shit, his song is actually good. 

And instead of KP, who is busy fighting the mean lean green machine, Ron sings about Rufus. The song is titled “Naked Mole Rap”. And it is FREAKING PHENOMENAL.

Oh, add one (1) Shego to the list. 

Okay, so far that is the most crazy episode. Like, seriously, the quality was through the roof.

SCRATCH THAT NEXT EP is EVEN WEIRDER

So, the Team Impossible, which we have learned about in the movie, is angry at KP for saving the world for free, whereas they actually charge people for it. 

And they try to cut Kim from all of her world-traveling assets and knock her out of competition.

THAT IS FUCKING V ILE

And they hack Wade

AND TURNS OUT YOU DON’T FUCK WITH WADE

YOU DON’T CUT THEIR INTERNET CABLES OF A NERD

SINCE THIS IS ONE WAY TO MAKE AN OBESE SUPER GENIOUS  WALK OUT OF THEIR ROOM

AND HE LOOKS SO FREAKING BAD-ASS WHEN HE STORMS INTO THEIR HEADQUATERS

aaand TI is defeated the same way they would have been defeated had they answered the call. 

Pretty funny, and it does go into the details of how on Earth superheroes work in this world. 

And we have another episode about the secret ninja high school Ron was sent to 

And Yori travels to US for Ron 

And Kim is super jelaus

Wade: Kim, you are jelly

Kim: So not

Monique: You are jelly 

Kim: So not

Kim: *is jelly*

So she pretty much stalks Ron all the way to the school, and nearly fails the mission of trying to save the levitating magical jedi principal. Seriously, he’s OP as fuck.

And he’s escaping from a huge monkey. turns out it’s crazy dna lady who turned herself  into monkey for Lord Britishmonkey. 

Next episode is bascially one huge satire on the movie industry, down to the title (”and The mole rat will be CGI”). KIm and Ron accidentally crash a movie set, after Senior Senior Junior crashes it first since he accidentally applied for a role of a henchman in said movie. 

It was supposed to be set in Britian, but the movie set was in New Zealand, since “it was cheaper”

And I was like 

Is that a “Lord of The rings” joke? Someone tell me if I’m right.

Oh, and we have another long episode WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE?

And it looks like it’s a three-part episode again, I wonder if the formula’s gonna work again. 

The beginning feels like a short promo scene for people who might not know what KP is about, and I’m not gonna lie, this sums it up perfectly. Action, drama, explosions, more drama, goofy ron, naked mole rat kicking ass and more drama. By the way, what;s the title? 

I guess the intro is an homage to the James Bond ones, with lots of colourful, surreal visuals floating in the background to the soothing, slow music. Love it, too bad it’s short, but again, it had to fit an episode’s running time.

 wait so the Nakasumi president CAN speak English? Even the movie calls him wacky for whispering all the time as if he couldn’t. 

Okay, now the movie just fucks with us. 

mr and mrs possible almost switch their cloaks with important documents, but she switches them back just at the last moment

mr posible ALMOST deletes his work file worth three billion dollars but undos it at the last moment.

it’s like the plot TRIES to start itself

And I bet the key is under the doormat

So the dating drama IS going to be the theme of the movie, huh. 

Wade: Drakken has been spotted in the Bermuda triangle

Bermuda triangle: *turns out to be a hotel*

And Ron just happened to have his suit under the scuba diving gear.

Shego proves to be once again, way more competent than Drakken.

and we have obligatory fight between two kickass ladies in dresses and high heels. This IS a James Bond movie. 

So, the prom drama continues, and it is sadly kinda goes into the cringe territory, with some new dude falling in love with Kim and Kim falling for him, Ron feeling sad, they both being conflicted, yep, seen it. 

But for once Drakken helps the cause and moves the plot forward, stealing some super project from dr Possible.

he deletes the file like he did in the opening, but GASP drakken has some mind reading machine

I do wonder if the coat switcheroo is going to be part of the plot. 

Holy shit

Drakken’s plan is so crazy that it actually makes sense. Take over the buneo nachos and put kiddy meals in it with robot toys that take over the world. And neither kim nor Shego could have forseen it. 

And more prom drama. Ugh. 

I always like when Possible family work together to stop the evil-doers.

So Drakken’s plan was brilliant, minus the part when the entire army of robots shuts down when the signal goes off-line. Kinda a major fuck-up. 

And they kindapped Kim’s boyfriend to lure her.  

OH, SO HE WAS A SYNTH ROBOT

I genuinely didn’t see that coming. 

Drakken learns Ron’s name, yeah! And it’s shot like Drakken’s yelling a curse to the skies, love it. 

Also, HOLY SHIT, Kim kicks Shego into the tower so hard it looks like she was about to kill her. Like, that was genuinely chilling moment, especially with an ominous, lightning-filled close-up onto her later.

Spoiler: she didn’t die. 

Okay, colour me confused: I didn’t think that Kim and Ron were going to kiss and start dating now, I thought this movie was going to be one huge prequel to a movie by the end of S4. Or more precisely, it feels weird NOW, knowing that there is a whole season ahead of me. Cos that felt like a pretty good end of a series, something akin to the Last Airbender one, so I’m slightly concerned how it’s going to be played into season 4, cos this can go haywire pretty easily. 

Uh, not going to lie, I’ve got mixed feelings about the movie. On one hand, it gave us a proper evil plan from Drakken, one that attacks Kim psychologically, showing that for once, he DID his homework and actually studied Kim’s behaviour. On the other, the prom/dating drama is kinda painful to watch, but fortunately gets resolved in the end. Maybe it’s just me, but I had the same expression as Rufus when he and Ron said that guys don’t talk about feelings. It felt kinda clumsy and not subtle at all, and what’s worse, the show itself did way better job of portraying romance in previous episodes, most notably the moodulator one. But as I said, those last few scenes with Ron and Kim fighting together does make up for it. 

also, Rufus once again is the unspoken hero. He did so freaking much, including, but not limited to: saving ron from the tentacle monster, freeing kim and ron, defeating the synth boyfriend, pushing Kim and Ron together... He really is a badass.    

So, not a bad one, though I preferred the first movie. Also, on the whole Season 3 was significantly shorter than second. Wonder what’s gonna happen in the next season.  

[reapers-carino]

I had a really hard day today (got harassed at school and then got yelled at) and I was wondering if you would do a request The request is (this might be long sorry) reader find out they are pregnant with Gabe's kid and then before they can tell Gabe the news he is presumed dead and so the reader goes on with their life and has the child then Gabe comes back as reaper and goes to find the reader and then funds he has a family now sorry if it was too long sorry!

((I’m so so sorry you had a hard day hon, those people that yelled at you suck. I hope that things get better!))

“Estoy em-bara-za-da”, you practiced, saying each syllable carefully before licking your lips and nodding. You were playing a short recording over and over, making sure you were saying it right and not butchering the Spanish phrase. “Estoy embara-zada...Estoy embarazada! There we go, I got it!”

You spun in a circle, smoothing your hands down your ‘bloated’ belly, giggling softly and happily. You were pregnant. If you hadn’t taken five pee tests and one blood test, you wouldn’t be sure if you actually believed that it was true but it was. You and Gabriel had talked in passing about having a family; of running away from Overwatch and Blackwatch, finding a home and starting over from scratch. New identities, plenty of money and enough human comforts that you’d never have to look back. You’d never be the ‘Jones’, with their white picket fences and ‘perfect American dream’, but you could be happy and free from all the bureaucratic bullshit that was intrinsically tied up with Overwatch and Blackwatch.

Especially now since things were looking so bad. Between the sensitive leaked information about Overwatch, deaths of prominent Overwatch agents, the reveal of the existence of Blackwatch and the witch hunt the world was on, it was time to get the hell out of dodge. Jesse had left first with Gabriel’s blessing, but his protege couldn’t convince the Blackwatch leader to leave himself. He had wiped records of your existence and moved you to Aix-les-Bains, France; explained that it was safer to be out of Switzerland for the time being, the hour commute back and forth more than worth it to keep you directly out of harm’s way.  What that harm was, he hadn’t revealed to you.

‘It’s better you don’t know, amorcita. Keeps your hands clean of this bullshit.’

Still, maybe with this news he could finally go through with those fanciful ideas of yours. You jumped as you heard you phone begin to buzz, drawing you out of your inner mind and back into the real world. Pushing a hand through your curls, your brow furrowed as you listened to your phone’s nonstop buzzing from across the room, grunting agitatedly. Crossing the room, you grabbed the device and pressed a button to illuminate the screen. Your blood froze like ice in your veins as you read the emergency notifications that were filling up your screen.

‘Explosion at Overwatch Geneva Headquarters’

‘Gigantic Explosion Rocks Overwatch HQ, Unknown Numbers Dead or Injured’

‘Unknown Numbers Hurt and Injured after Explosion Hits Geneva’

“Oh god…”

It had taken three more months until Gabriel’s status was changed from missing to dead, Reinhardt bringing you the personal effects that been found in the debris. His hat, a tungsten ring you had given him and his dog tags; all burnt but still there. Your fingers traced over the letters of his name, a soft sob leaving your lips as you pulled the objects tight against your chest. He may have left the physical plane, but Gabriel hadn’t left you alone. Your hand smoothed down your round stomach, looking up at Reinhardt with a watery smile.

“Thank you…”

“Isabella”, you warned, the bright eyed two year old looking back at you. She had managed to climb halfway up onto the the kitchen table, you rushing and scooping the adventurous little girl into your arms. She looked so much like her father, you joked that she was his little clone, only picking up traces of your features. Big brown eyes framed with thick black lashes, soft copper skin covered in tiny freckles and a head full of thick, wild black curls that framed her chubby little cheeks. “Princesita, how many times must mama ask you not to climb up on the table, hm? You’re going to end up just like those little monkey and bump your head!”

You began to tickle the little girl, spinning her in your arms and smiling at her screaming laugh, peppering warnings and kisses to her head and forehead. You had tried to keep her father’s memory alive; teaching Isabella Spanish and using the affectionate terms you could imagine Gabriel using, showing her vids and pictures of her father and his friends to prove that he was a hero that had laid down his life to protect them. Isabella knew his face, would call him daddy and talk to his framed picture in those short toddler sentences. It was hard, admittedly, to raise her all on your own but you loved your daughter and you know that Gabriel would be happy to know how you both were living.  

“Mama”, Isabella said through giggles, her own chubby little fingers stilling at trying to tickle you. She tilted her body backwards as she looked at the door frame that led to the front door, making you grunt as you took a half step forward to catch her. You shifted your daughter to your hip, the little girl grabbing onto your shirt to steady herself before pointing. “The doorbell mama!”

“Good ears mi amorcita”, you complimented, gently ruffling the child’s hair and bouncing her on your hip with each step. You were expecting a few packages for Isabella’s owl-themed birthday; a colorful owl plush, a dress, umbrella and rainboot set with the same type of owl and a new book featuring the same, sweet cartoon-y creature. The doorbell rang once more making you scoff in annoyance, Isabella yelling again to notify you that the doorbell was in fact being rang. “Thank you little one. I am coming!”

You tried to keep your voice singsong-y, a small tick of annoyance pulling at your neutral smile. Rude ass postman rushing you when they knew damn well you had a child and they didn’t have that many houses to go to in that area. Shifting Isabella on your hip, you put a sweet yet annoyed smile on your lips, undoing the locks before throwing the door open.

“Sorry for ma--”

You jumped startled, arms wrapping tightly around your daughter as you caught sight of the person on the other side of your screen door. It was a tall man that was dressed in all black; black cargo pants, a black hoodie and black boots. Something tickled in the back of your head, there was something...familiar about that silhouette.

“Mama?”

Your eyes jumped back to your daughter, the child less scared than you were but more curious as to why you were squeezing her so tightly. Shooting a sweet smile down at her, you took a small half step back, prepared to hit the lockdown button near the door.

“I don’t know who you are but you should go”, you said, voice steely and serious, eyes darting between your daughter, the button and the stranger. “Now.”

The stranger chuckled softly, the sound low and gritty and solemn but familiar, your stomach flipping nervously. Your hands hovered over the button but you still couldn’t find it in yourself to press it just yet as the stranger began to turn, pushing the hood they had up off of their head.

“Cautious as ever mi reina”, the man said before locking eyes with you, a melancholic smile playing on those ever familiar lips. Gabriel Reyes stood in front of you, scarred and pale but alive and you froze. It felt like all the air had been knocked out of your lungs as you stared your dead lover in the face, your heart thundering in your chest.

“Gabby”, you breathed out weakly, tears immediately rolling down your cheeks. Your mind couldn’t process this. Gabriel shouldn’t be here, they hadn’t found a body but there is no way that he could be here...and alive. You hiccuped, adjusting Isabella on your hip again before wiping hardly at your face. “H-how?”

“Let me come in cariño”, Gabriel said, his hand lightly pressing against the glass of the screen. Now that he was closer, your eyes studied what you could of his facial features. His large brown eyes were now the color of fresh blood. His warm undertone was now gray, making his brown skin appear duller. There scars you had never seen before on your face, but you knew somewhere in your heart of hearts that this was the love of your life. His eyes kept darting between you and Isabella, his expression communicating unbelievable longing.  “I will explain everything, just please let me in.”

“Papa! Mama that’s papa? Mama look! That’s papa?”

“Yes baby”, you said softly, voice cracking as you tried to keep it together for your little girl. “That is your daddy...should we let him in?”

“Ya!”

Your hands shook as you unlocked the door, your senses suddenly filled by the scent of his cologne and pomade, his arms wrapping tight around you as he pushed through the door. You unconsciously squeezed your arm tight around him, the feeling of completeness filling your body. He broke away from the hug, a real smile on his lips as he looked between you and Isabella once more before bending slightly so that he could be eye to eye with the two year old. The little girl smiled wide at him, her hand reaching out to actually touch his face, bursting into a fit of giggles when Gabriel kissed her palms.

“Hi there ángel”, he said, his voice unbelievably soft as he stood up to full height.

“That’s not my name”, the toddler corrected, brow furrowing at the ‘name’ her father had imposed on her. “My name is Isa-bella Ale-jan-dra Reyes!”

She slowed down on her own syllables to make sure she said each of them correctly before grinning wide at the man, her father. Gabe’s eyes lifted to look at you, shocked that you had given her his last name before looking back to the little girl, pure love and adoration in his eyes.

“Hey there Isabella…”

[canvaswolfdoll]

CanvasWatches: The Boy and the Beast

Mamoru Hosoda has made some pretty good movies, each one better than the last! He’s been good enough that I actually bought his most recent movie, The Boy and the Beast, totally blind, because his past films have been just that good.[1]

Seriously, look him up and watch his original films. Worth the time.

He seems to have an evolving theme of maturing and finding one’s place in the world while facing extraordinary circumstances. Wolf Children was a great movie, with one of my few criticisms being the uncanny valley of the Father’s half-wolf form.

So, obviously, this next film will be set in a world filled with anthropomorphised animals! Okay…

I mean, the effect is variable from character to character. The monkey guy looks great, while the pig monk (Hyakushūbō) is within the uncanny valley. Everyone else falls on the spectrum between the two, and not aided by the cgi crowd scenes.[2]

The plot’s good, and should be spoiled as little as possible. I recommend you watch it. Go watch it. Do it. I can wait.

Did you watch it? Good, Now, those of us who have seen the movie, let’s proceed.

The movie makes a lot of choices that, to my experience, are surprising but also oddly satisfying. Our protagonist stays in the magic world for a long time, training the whole while, and there’s no Narnia time, so that’s time lost in the Human world, too.

Then there’s a major narrative shift toward actually exploring what happens to the kid once he returns to the “real” world. While most stories end after the child frees themselves and saves the world, and we don’t actually know how the experiences will affect the child, we get to see Ren stumble back to Japan as a near adult and finds out that, oops, martial arts is fine and all, but he’s barely got a fourth grade education, can’t read well, and so forth.

Then we see the same bullheaded strategy he took to learning from his Bear Mentor to catching up with his education under the tutelage of a cute girl, and it works really well. This also leads him to reuniting with his father, and the issues that would surround that.

One thing Hosoda’s always been surprisingly good at is actually showing relationships grow, getting better each time. Usually when boy meets girl, and it’s blatantly obvious the two are going to get together by the end, I find the plotline rather unmoving, and silently root against the relationship.

Besides The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, his films have never really had such a forced relationship.  Rather, they’re steadily improving and becoming more organic each time.

Sure, when we meet the love interest (Kaede), she literally has a red string tied around her wrist, but… well, she and Ren have a very sweet relationship, growing from a mutual love of learning and desire to improve. They don’t even interact much, but seeing the two together is nevertheless very endearing, and they feel happy together. Even during the awkward ‘Am I a Man or a Beast?’ scene Ren inevitably has, you can see and understand the emotional pain Ren is going through, and Kaede’s desire to help him through it. It’s not a ‘Girl fixes broken man’ way, but in actual concern sort of way because the narrative put the work in to show that, yes, these two have actual chemistry beyond the needs of the plot.

Even if Kaede is oddly casual about the fantastical elements suddenly revealed to her.[3]

The character of Kumatetsu and his relationship with Ren is also fascinating to watch, because while the two grow to respect one another and view the other as a surrogate father and son, they never actually ease off one another. They both are arrogant and bullheaded towards one another, and it’s because of that that they learn from one another so easily.

Also telling is, after spending much time discreetly copying Kumatetsu to the point Ren can track his movements from another room, we learn Ren’s intention wasn’t just to find a way to learn his master’s techniques, despite Kumatetsu’s inability to use his words, but that Ren was doing so with the express purpose of beating up Kumatetsu.

Which Ren then does. Hilariously.

At which point, the two begin teaching one another. Kumatetsu teaching Ren how to fight and grow strong; Ren teaching Kumatetsu how to strategize, learn, and read his opponent. They work together so well that once Kumatetsu does start attracting new students, he finds them frustratingly subservient, as his teaching style is one of mutual antagonism.

The cast is also surprisingly likable. Kumatetsu’s rival isn’t a jerk, but instead a caring and patient father and master. Obviously, this is so the two claimants for the title of Lord[4] are foils for one another, but nevertheless, Iouzan is a likeable guy, to the point that, even when the two finally have their duel, I’m not actually sure who I’d want to win. Or even who, narratively, would win.

There are no real villains in the story. Iouzan, as mentioned, is likable, his son Jiromaru starts out as your typical bully, but after one beat down turns around and becomes a close friend to Ren. Even the person who acts as the final antagonist of the story (who I’m not naming, in case a reader didn’t do the homework) has understandable motivations and is played more of a tragic figure than an actually villainous one. Who happens to cause a lot of property damage.

Also, and this is mostly a thing Canvas likes to see, but Ren doesn’t kill the antagonist. He stays his blade and goes only for a knock out. And I appreciate that. I really like it when a story doesn’t tell you the bad guy is irredeemable and deserves death.  That’s especially good for this film, with its heavy themes about personal growth and redemption.

I love redemption stories so much, and really hate narratives killing off villains.  It’s just the lazy solution, honestly.

Finally, Kumatetsu sacrifices himself to aide his prodigy in the final battle. Not in a ‘jumping in the way of the death blow’ way, either, but through a method that required actual thought and consideration. It wasn’t a brash, dramatic decision to make the audience feel sad about a sudden swerve. We know it’s coming, why it’s coming, and what makes the choice feel earned and significant.

The fact that the delivery of the moment also makes an earlier joke become emotionally meaningful is just icing on the cake.[5]

This may be a new favorite film of mine. Honestly, the only criticism I have is, after the events of the story, Ren leaves the Beast World for good, never to return. I liked the duality of a human boy moving between the two worlds freely. I dunno, maybe do another time skip, and show him taking on a student of his own.

But that’s just me.

Thanks for reading this review. If you liked it, maybe consider sending me a message, or supporting me through patreon? I like to do stuff, and money helps me do that.

Kataal kataal.

[1] I usually only blind-buy Ghibli films, and that’s largely because I just want the whole collection. [2] The idle animations are so goofy looking. [3] Come on, lady, how’d you even find the beast world? And why are you so unfazed by it? [4] Dub calls the position Lord, TV Tropes seems to imply the Sub calls it Grand Master. [5] I really like it when stories make silly moments bittersweet for those who know its actual punchline. Looking at you, Futurama!

[themisterorangecontinuum-blog]

Aegeroth: A Checkered History Preview

Drivena went through the man’s drawers quickly but quietly.  For a man of noble status, Higorin had very little of value in his drawers.   There were some gilded clothes, but few of those would really fit in her satchel, and it could be hard to fence off second hand clothes.  What she was really looking for was jewelry, but all she had found so far was spare change. She closed shut the last ornately carved drawer, and looked around the stone and wood room.  It was almost entirely empty, save for a small nightstand and fancy bed. A large window dominated one wall, revealing the impending rain storm outside. Once again, the silken sheets were worth something, but most people who were buying such luxury goods wanted them new, not in the piss poor condition Higorin had left them in.  Drivena knew. It had taken her a few years of trying to finally accept that.

From the staircase came loud clanking sounds, and Drivena quickly moved to take cover behind the window’s curtains.  Her uncle Milvatedyn had warned her time and again to case a place before burglarizing it, but she never listened. Drivena pressed herself against the window, the cold seeping through her black sleeves almost immediately.  She was happy beyond measure that Higorin preferred thick curtains, or else she would surely have been seen in her last minute hiding spot. The man, who was armored according to his heavy footsteps, lingered for a while. Drivena almost cursed as her skin began to sting, but at long last she heard a door open and close, and stumbled out from the curtains, rubbing her forearms.  Now knowing that there was an armed guard, it was time to leave. Drivena began to make her way to the first floor, staying on the soft green velvet going down the middle of the stairs to avoid the soft thudding of hollow wood. It was just a short walk from the staircase to the front door, but as Drivena reached the bottom she froze, a feeling in the pit of her stomach welling up.  She had been there far too long to leave with nothing of value.

Drivena swung around and began to walk along the wall.  There was one room, in the back of the house with the tell tale seclusion of a storage area, she hadn’t checked yet, having decided to save it for last when she had first come in, like one might save the most savory part of a meal.  Drivena was not good at prioritizing. She opened the door, and sure enough this was where all the good stuff was. In one corner there was a vault, and leaning against one of the walls was a fairly nice oil painting. Drivena was not a peruser of the arts, but she could normally sell a stolen piece for at least decent coin.  She dug her fingernails between the painting and its frame, and pulled down, horribly tearing it

. . .

Drivena turned her attention to the vault in the corner, took from her bag her knife and a thin piece of metal, and got to work.  After several minutes, she managed to force the lock open, and looked inside. There was only an amulet, and not even a very good one.  It was dull in color, probably some sort of iron alloy, and was rather simple, oval shaped with a small pit in the middle being the only decoration.  It was all she had now, though, so Drivena dropped it in her bag and turned to leave. Waiting in the doorway however was a servant, dressed in even simpler clothes than she wore.  He hollered, and Drivena moved quickly, putting her hand over his mouth. It was too late, as already thudding footsteps were approaching the stairs. She shoved the servant away roughly and moved to the room’s window.  Drivena pulled upwards on it with all her might, but eventually was forced to accept that this wasn’t the type of window that opened and ran back into the main hallway. The guard was there now, dressed in full plate.

“Stop thief!  You are on Lord Higorin’s property, and are therefore in violation of the la.”

Drivena did not wait for him to finish his speech and sped past him.

“No, wait!” He shouted as he gave pursuit.

In the courtyard, Drivena quickly identified the low point of the wall she had jumped earlier, and did so again, although with significantly more difficulty now that the stone was drenched.  The less athletic and more weighed down guard was forced to take the gate.

The streets were slicked with rain as Drivena ran across them, shoving her way through the crowds of freezing, wet people roughly.  The moderately sized buildings, closely clumped together to make the best of the room available in a thick forest, left little room for when everyone DECIDED TO DO THEIR SHOPPING AT THE SAME TIME.  Drivena muttered a curse at the circumstances.

For a moment she was stuck behind a very large man, but with enough prodding he finally moved out of the way.   Simultaneously she elbowed in the direction of someone behind her who had gotten a little too close to her bag.  She could hear obnoxiously shouted orders coming from behind, filled with a false aggression mustered in a poor attempt at intimidation.  All it really did, though, was tell Drivena the distance of her pursuer. Unfortunately for him, this was not the first time she had found herself in a situation like this.  Once the voice had become suitably faded, Drivena fetched from her bag a thick, hooded cloak, and placed it over herself. Resisting the still present urge to check behind her, she turned to her right into an alleyway.

This was far from the first time that Drivena had used this alleyway for escape.  It was crooked, tight, and branching, and if you took the right way though you’d end up in a completely different part of the town.  In fact, so many times had she traveled this path after a botched heist that it was certain that one day someone would take advantage of it and be waiting here for her.   Drivena, however, did not really care. She was a creature of habit, and she would be damned if she was going to stop using the most convenient escape route she had ever found for some vague possibility of a threat.

Go here for the full story or

Drivena felt arms roughly wrap around her, expelling all breath as she came to a sudden stop.  The man who had grabbed her swung her around to reveal the bony, sickly green face of an albaz, much too close.   Drivena had briefly seen this woman before, both preferring the same, underhanded merchant to sell to. The woman bent down slightly to stare the noticeably shorter Drivena in the eyes.

“Good day ma’am.  My name is Kajulan, last name unimportant as legally that would be very, very incriminating.  We’ve arranged this little meeting because you have an asset that might prove to be extremely beneficial to us, and we would like to discuss its transaction.”

She had not realized it at first, as Kajulan was missing the signature hat, but the forced professionalism and etiquette was a surefire way of identifying a member of the Ordinary Businessmen.  Or Trustworthy Merchants. Or whatever they were calling themselves now. Gimmicky gangs always seemed to go through more names than extremist political ideologies. Upon closer inspection, Kajulan was clearly wearing a suit, albeit a poorly maintained one, and behind her stood two sharply dressed men, one of whom was a shorter albaz, and the other of whom was a chalky skinned, sharp faced dwergaz.  Drivena moved her head back towards Kajulan.

“Your guys’ theme is hokey,” Drivena spat, not yet having mentally registered a proper threat.

Kajulan yelled, strangely enough really in no general direction, and ripped from her neck her loosely tied tie.  She swung around muttering under her breath something about how people with stupid sounding fake names shouldn’t start theme gangs, and that themed gangs were stupid regardless.  The Dwergaz walked up to her, putting his arm around her. She turned to him.

“These suits are jokes, Tekol.   Stupid jokes thought up by a stupid idiot who has stupid plans that are stupid because a stupid person came up with them.”  Her tone suddenly turned much gentler, a hint of nostalgia in it. “Remember, back in Romba, what it was like?”

“Oh, of course,” replied Tekol, not a hint of irony in his voice.  “We were top of the world when it came to scraping by muggers and thieves.  We’d just live our lives, and bring down punishment on whichever rich kid was stupid enough to cross our path.”

“Those were good times.”

“And hey, let’s not forget about the little things.  Jethin never called you out when you stopped wearing the hat, so, victory!”  Tekol waved his hands as excitedly as he could muster.

“Doesn’t really matter when you’re surrounded by people who are still just as doofy looking, no offense to you, Ladun.”

The short albaz looked over at her, an expression of mild irritation in his eyes from being singled out for seemingly no reason.

“Well, you know what!?” declared tekol, taking his hat from his head and throwing it into the mud.  “For you, I will not wear this hat either!”

“But Tekol,” said Kajulan, placing her arms gently around his shoulders.   “You’re actually cute in a monkey suit.” She played with his hair briefly and then leaned in.  The two began to kiss, and seemed as if they had no plans to stop until the man holding Drivena finally spoke up.

“Can we finish what we came here for Kajulan?  This is starting to become uncomfortable.”

“I’m uncomfortable too, big guy,” said Drivena, trying and failing to noticeably squirm.  “Glad to see common ground.”

Kajulan reluctantly removed herself from Tekol and returned to staring menacingly at Drivena.

“Give me that bag, girl.”

Drivena looked at the arms wrapped around her, and then to her own arms trapped at her sides.  Kajulan took the hint and drew a clearly well used knife, quickly slicing her bag from its straps and ripping it open.   First, she took from it several metal coins, and allowed them to slide through her fingers, jingling in the mud below.

“Not a great haul, but a decent one.”

She reached back into the bag, and pulled something green and orange out.

“Are these, carrot tufts?” she asked, somewhat amused and yet also personally offended for some reason.  “Who steals carrot tufts? Why?”

She reached into the bag again, and removed a knife.

“Should of had that one out, girl.”

Drivena rolled her eyes at that.  There was no way Kajulan was that much older than herself.  In fact, she could very well be younger!

One last time she reached inside, although this time drew nothing out.   Finding nothing large while feeling around the bag, she turned it upside down and shook.  Out came small crumbs, pieces of trinkets that didn’t survive, and a whole lot of lint, but not what she was looking for.

“Where’s the amulet?” Kajulan said threateningly, for the first time lacking any sort of jubilance or exaggeration in her voice.

“I don’t remember an amulet.”

“You don’t remember?!  We’ve been tailing you ever since you left the house of our mark!  We know you had it.”

Drivena’s mouth hung open, legitimately drawing a complete blank, until at last the whole fuss came back to her.

“Wait!  You’re right.  I actually did take an amulet, but it didn’t seem super valuable.  It was a pretty dull metal. Kind of cheap looking.”

“Then why would you take it!”

“It was in the guy’s vault!  The only thing actually, and I wasn’t about to leave empty handed.  I mean, it takes effort to get those things open. I guess I just lost it.”

Kajulan threw her arms up in the air and breathed heavily through gritted teeth, turning around again to face the other direction.  It was during these exasperated movements that Drivena finally noticed just how comfortable Kajulan was with that knife. It’s never good to be threatened by someone comfortable with their knife.

“Alright,” said Drivena, her heart now thumping heavily in her chest.  “I really don’t have it anymore. It might’ve fallen out of my bag, or hell, maybe it was even stolen from me by someone else, but I swear I have no idea where it is now.  You can know I’m telling the truth because I’ve been looking to the right, am not fiddling with my hands, and have not paused frequently during my statement!”

“I believe her,” said Tekol, looking at Kajulan.  “It’s pure dumb coincidence she came across it in the first place, nothing more.”

“But we’ve put so much time into this, Tekol.  We can’t just end without resolution.”

“Let’s just kill her then, Kaji.”

Kajulan turned back to Drivena, smiling sorrowfully, and began to walk towards her, knife in hand.

“Jethin’s going to want you dead anyway, girl.  I’m just saving him a few days of searching.”

As Kajulan neared, a shot rang out in the alleyway.

“It’s the fuzz!” shouted Tekol.  “Cheese it!”

The four who had apprehended Drivena scattered, dropping her into the mud and disappearing surprisingly quickly.  Down the alley came a young, ashy haired albaz, with eyes kind but tired beyond his years. He offered his hand to Drivena and she took it, steadying herself relatively quickly.

“Did you catch me too, Davi?”

“Your welcome, Drivena.  And no. I heard Kajulan’s trademark shouting, and followed it.”

“So I’m not losing my touch?”

“Stop incriminating yourself Drivena!  We’ve talked about this. I can’t just look the other way while you’re admitting to criminal activity.”

“Sorry, it’s just been a while.  I mean, where’ve you been?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t have time to pursue you every time you took someone’s gourd or picked from someone’s pocket their “lucky fishing line” or something else equally preposterous.  Jethin’s been tightening his grip on the city, just like everywhere else in the damn satrapy.”

Drivena followed Davi, her bearings still somewhat absent from the previous encounter.  She heard the thudding of rain resume on the overlaid roofs, realizing she had not noticed it stopping in the first place.  They exited the alleyway to find that most of the previous commuters were absent, frustrated by the second wave of rainfall.  Davi motioned for her to follow him into the police station.

“No,” responded Drivena at his poor excuse for an arrest attempt.

“It’s not for that,” said Davi, frustrated.  “We just need you to fill out a statement, answer some questions.”

“Hell no.”

Drivena turned to leave, but could hear Davi reciting the little speech he was suppose to give before arresting nonviolent suspects or forcing the cooperation of uncooperative witnesses.  She could swear he was the only officer she had ever met to actually do it.

“Alright!” she said.  “I will answer these “non personal questions” and fill out the “Non invasive confirmation of your personal information” form.   Just, lets go quickly. It’s raining harder now.”

Davi smiled and gave a little enthusiastic thumbs up as he ran into the station.

The Story continues here  (Kind of).