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house-of-galathynius · 2 years

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Sacred Heart - Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Fifteen

Only one more chapter after this! I just wanted to say thank you all so so much for reading this and for your kind comments and messages. It always means so much to me when I hear you guys are enjoying what I write🥰

2.8k words

Song of the chapter: Simple As A Song - Thomas Rhett

Aelin nervously played with the ends of her hair as her family and friends all took a seat in her living room. Aedion had given her a suspicious look as he had perched in the armchair, whilst Elide had merely given Aelin a gentle hug and quietly sat on the sofa, her hand engulfed in Lorcan’s.

Rowan had taken Maia out for the afternoon so that Aelin could explain exactly what has been going on and to tell them what was going to be happening moving forward. It had been a long discussion between the two of them the night before and Aelin had finally relented when Rowan had practically begged her to just be honest with everyone.

So here she was. Her closest friends and family in front of her and although some of them knew almost everything that had been going on, and knew about the drama— she still found herself terrified. Maybe it was the idea that some of them would judge her for the decisions she had been making; or maybe it was because she knew that their concerns and judgements were valid and she was just so desperate to prove to them that everything would be fine.

She met the gaze of Lysandra who gave her a reassuring smile and Aelin felt herself relax for a moment. She took that brief moment to stand and clear her throat, the room went quiet and she took a deep breath.

“Most of you know that Rowan has come back into my life and we have been trying to figure out a lot of stuff from five years ago— including how we would move forward in terms of Maia.” She cleared her throat. “It’s been a rocky few months and I know a lot of you have questions and are curious to know what has been going on… So I thought that today I could clear it all up and tell you what will be happening.”

“Was Rowan too scared to be here himself?” Aedion scoffed.

Aelin narrowed her eyes at him in return.

“Rowan is out looking after our daughter. And if you have a problem with that, Aedion, then you can take it up with me later.”

There was silence in the room as Aedion mulled over his next response. He opened his mouth to say something, then promptly closed it, letting Aelin continue.

“I think all of you know that Rowan was engaged to Lyria and they were planning on getting married this year. I had been tasked with planning said wedding and whilst things were definitely weird, I continued on anyway. However, during the last few months, it became clear that things between the two of them were not going to work out and so they have called off their wedding and are no longer together.” Aelin paused, “after numerous conversations with Rowan, we decided that it was in the best interests of Maia that he be part of her life. And part of mine.”

“Aelin…” Aedion groaned.

“Look, I know that you all have reservations. I know that he messed up, but he has grown up a lot since then and I truly believe that this time is going to be different. I love him. I always have, and I always will— and by some miracle he loves me too.”

There was a moment of silence in the room before Evalin shifted in her seat then raised her eyes to Aelin. “Do you trust him? Because it doesn’t matter what anyone else says,” she gave a pointed look at Aedion, “if you believe that Rowan is ready to step up and he’s not going to repeat the past, then I am nothing but happy for you.”

“I’m with your mother, Aelin. All any of us can do is be there for you and trust that you know what is best for you and Maia.”

Everyone else in the room seemed to nod their heads in agreement. Aelin sighed in relief and smiled brightly at them all. Aedion was the only person who seemed uneasy about it, and Aelin was sure he would have something to say about it sooner or later.

“I do have one question.” Lysandra said.

Aelin rose a brow, waiting.

“When you say that Rowan is going to be in your life… does that mean what I think it does?”

Aelin blushed a little and nodded. “Rowan and I are back together. He’s got to figure out finding someone else to take over the lease on his apartment, but as soon as that’s sorted he will be moving in here with me.”

She could still see the apprehension on Aedion’s face, but she wasn’t going to let that ruin what she was feeling. For the first time in months, she felt truly excited about something. Maia was happier than ever and it felt like after everything she had been through she could finally breathe.

“We’re happy for you, Aelin.” Her father smiled deeply and Aelin returned it with her own.

Aedion was loitering by the barbecue where a variety of hotdogs and burgers were being cooked. He had a beer in one hand and the tongs in the other, slowly turning the food as he watched Lysandra with their son.

“Hey.”

He turned to Aelin and took a swig of his drink.

“Can we talk?” She asked quietly.

“Sure. But the food is almost done.”

Aelin grabbed the tongs from Aedion’s hand and set them down— practically demanding his full attention. “I know you’re not happy about all this, but I promise you that I’ve thought it through and I truly believe that Rowan will be different this time.” She sighed. “I love him more than anything, Aedion. All I want is for you to just trust me, to trust Rowan.”

Aedion ran a hand through his hair and looked over to Lysandra again.

“Even without Theo I could never imagine leaving Lys. It physically pains me to even consider it. I’m happy that you’re finally happy and I truly want to be supportive… but I just don’t know how to properly let it go. I don’t know how I’ll ever understand his reasoning or be okay with it.”

Aelin nodded in understanding. “I know. And I get why you feel that way, but I just need you to be supportive in any way you can. Even if you don’t agree with my choices.”

“Of course I’ll support you. But if he hurts you again, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.” He had another sip of beer then took the tongs back from Aelin and started to turn the meat again.

“I love you, Aedion. Even if you are annoyingly protective.” Aelin gave him a hug from the side and kissed his cheek. Her cousin made a face, but she knew that he was secretly happy. She knew that it would take Aedion some time— and she didn’t blame him. But she knew that with time, he would come around.

The afternoon seemed to pass in a blur. By the time Rowan and Maia returned home, only Aelin’s parents remained. And the moment she laid eyes on Rowan coming through the back door, Maia fast asleep in his arms, she just about melted. Rowan gave her a grin and Aelin met him half way, reaching up to kiss him gently.

“You wiped her out.” She laughed quietly, tucking a strand of Maia’s hair away from her face.

“She was a bundle of energy all afternoon and then just crashed in the car home. I figured it was fine to let her sleep a little.” He looked down at his daughter with such affection that Aelin had to look away a moment.

“How was your, what did you call it? Intervention?”

Aelin rolled her eyes at Rowan’s mocking tone. “It went very well. I think you still have to win over Aedion, but everyone else seemed to be pretty chill about us being together again.”

“We’re going to head home, Aelin.” Her mother said, coming up behind her.

Aelin without thinking, slipped her hand into Rowan’s and smiled brightly at her parents. “Thank you for coming today. And thank you for being so understanding.”

Evalin cupped Aelin’s cheek, “we will always be your biggest supporters, fireheart. And whatever decision you make, we’ll be there to cheer you on.”

When Aelin had waved goodbye to her parents and had finished cleaning up, she found Rowan in the living room, Maia still sleeping on his lap. His hands were combing through her hair and he was focused on the TV. There were no words as Aelin curled into his embrace on the other side and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I love you, Ro.” She whispered.

He kissed the top of her head. “I love you, too.”

One Month Later

Aelin huffed as she dropped the box down onto the floor and then groaned as she counted the further ten boxes and the large oak desk that needed to be carried in.

“If I had known you had this much stuff, I would have had Aedion come and help.” She stated to Rowan, who was in the middle of unloading a heavy suitcase full of books.

“I asked you to ask him, Aelin. You were the one who told me it would be fine.” He placed the box on top of the one she had just put on the floor and kissed her cheek lightly. “We’re almost done.”

Aelin raised her brows at him. “I see ten boxes still needing to be carried inside and then upstairs. And then there’s the actual unpacking of all of them… We are not almost done.”

“I can do this by myself. You can just sit inside looking pretty and I’ll come get you when I’m finished.”

She glared at him and then picked up the box, blowing out a large breath as she heaved it up over the doorstep and up the stairs into the spare room. She glanced around at the mountains of stuff that had piled up in here over the last month and she felt herself stressing over the time it was going to take to organise it all— and where on earth she’d even be able to fit it all.

Even though they had spent almost every waking moment with each other in the last month, Rowan had only just been able to rent out his flat to someone new. There had been more obstacles to jump through than he had anticipated and so it had taken them this long to finally get him moved out of his flat in the city and moved into their house.

Their house.

It had been so long since Aelin had been able to call it that. They’d only been living there a few months before Rowan had left— so it had always just been her house. Well… and Maia’s. But over the last few months more and more of Rowan’s things had made their way over there. Now, it wasn’t just Aelin’s clothes that hung in the wardrobe. The fridge was stocked with both their favourite foods. The shoe rack now overflowed with shoes, and coats were having to be shoved into other cupboards to make space.

But Aelin didn’t care. The house felt fuller somehow. There was more laughter than there had ever been and Maia was smiling all the time. Even her teachers had told Aelin there had been a big change in her daughter’s behaviour and attitude.

Aelin also loved going to bed and knowing that she would have Rowan next to her again. The intimacy between them was unparalleled and she loved just being held by him. And there was nothing better than waking up in the morning with a kiss, and on the weekends, if they were lucky, he would kiss her harder and they would make love slowly and carefully— catching up on all the time they hadn’t been able to do it.

“Aelin? Can you come grab this box for me?” Rowan shouted from downstairs.

She pushed the box she had just brought up to the side and then quickly walked down the stairs. She looked around for Rowan but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. She poked her head into the living room, then into the downstairs bathroom before peeking her head out the front door, where she found the car all shut up and the boxes neatly stacked by the front door.

“Ro? Where are you?” She asked loudly.

There was no response and she started to get nervous as she went back into the house and into the kitchen where she noticed the back door was wide open and the heat of summer was creeping into the room. She saw a flicker of movement outside and narrowed her eyes, letting herself wander into the garden where she stopped short.

The stone patio was ladened with peonies in varying sizes of vases. In between the flowers were candles that were flickering with the breeze, casting small shadows as the sun was lowering in the sky, casting it’s golden glow over everything. She followed the little pathway that had been made with the flowers and candles to the end of the garden where she finally found Rowan.

He was smiling sheepishly as she approached. But his face was happy as he brought her in for a hug. Aelin knew what was happening but she didn’t say anything as she let Rowan take the lead.

“I know what you’re thinking.” He started, “but I have a million reasons why I think this is right and why I know that we’re not making a mistake.”

Aelin was silent. Her heartbeat quickening as Rowan knelt to one knee.

“I did this once before and I promised you I would love you forever. I promised you a life that I didn’t end up giving you. But Fireheart,” he smiled gently, “I have loved you every second since I first asked you. That promise I have kept, and I will keep beyond death, beyond anything this world can throw at me. You are the first person I want to see in the morning and the last thing at night. I want to give you the life that I failed to give before. I want to fill this house with our children and have nothing but laughter and happiness in it. I want to watch you grow old— even if you become a grumpy old lady— I will love you.” Aelin laughed, but let Rowan continue, “I want to show you that I can be the man that you once believed in. I know that it’s fast, I know we have a lot of things to work through still. But there is nowhere else I would rather be than right here, with you.”

Aelin wiped her cheek. She was trying so hard not to jump into his arms and hold him close— telling him yes a thousand times over. But she refrained from moving and let him finish.

“I promise that I will talk to you about my fears, I’ll talk to you when things get hard or I get scared. I love you a million times over, more than I realised I could love anyone.” There was a pause, then, “Aelin Ashryver Galathynius… would you give me a second chance, and marry me?”

Her hands were shaking as he opened up the ring box and her eyes widened in surprise at the ring that was nestled in the velvet.

“This is…” She didn’t know what to say.

“I thought about using the ring I’d given you the first time,” he explained, “I found it in your bedside table and I debated for a long while whether I should or not.”

Aelin just shook her head in awe.

“But I thought that it might make you think about what had happened before. And I wanted something new to represent the new beginning. If you want the old ring, we can use that. But I wanted you to know that I’m serious about this. I need you to know that when I tell you I love you, when I say I want to spend the rest of my life with you— I mean it. Wholeheartedly. I am utterly and completely in love with you, Aelin. And I would be the biggest fool in the world if I didn’t ask you to marry me again.”

He was still down on one knee and Aelin was stepping forward, then she was taking him in her arms, Rowan losing his balance and the two of them falling onto the grass— laughing and half crying.

“You don’t have to say yes. We don’t ever have to get married or we can have the longest engagement known to man. I just want you to know that I am here and I am ready for our life together. I’m just sorry it took me five years to get there.”

“I’d wait five hundred for you, Rowan.”

@morganofthewildfire @tomtenadia @fredweasleyhasadhd @luckyrunawaycheesecake @live-the-fangirl-life @fireheart-violet @charlizeed @scarblx @xo-fangirl-xo @wordsafterhours @jesstargaryenqueen @sailorsassley @sjmships @endlessdaydream @aflickeringsoul @tillyrubes10 @rowaelin-cressworth @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @rowaelinismyotp @rosegoldannie @maryberry @viajandosinalas @becarefuloflove @allthebooksunderthemoon @sheharahu @swankii-art-teacher @superspiritfestival @becarefuloflove @tanvee1231 @viajandosinalas @backtobl4ck @emily-gsh @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart @becarefuloflove

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hederasgarden · 2 years

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Fanfic ask game:

TY Shelly!

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

It's a toss up between Hangman and the reader's banter in Friendly Competition and the scene below from Don't Break My Heart.

“I can see you’re scared,” Rhett acknowledges. “But I’m not gonna leave you to do this alone. Even if I was the type of man to, my father would kill me.” You give him a watery laugh and he grins. “We got six months to get to know one another and figure this out.”

“That’s not a long time,” you tell him.

“It’s enough to get started. We can figure the rest out as we go,” he promises.

You swallow past the lump in your throat and look down at your hands in his. There’s dirt under his nails and little scars over his knuckles and forearms. Life in this town was tough and scratching out a living from the land was even harder here. It wasn’t a place you wanted to raise your child.

“I took a job in Bozeman. I’m moving next month,” you tell him. “I know your family is here but…” you trail off, afraid of his reaction.

“I can get a job out there,” he says, squeezing your hand. “They got cattle in most places.”

“What about your family?”

He lets go of your hands and leans back, something dark and angry in his expression. “I’ve been wanting to leave for years,” he says, still not looking at you. He’s watching something outside on the street, but his eyes are unfocused. “This place…it’s no good.”

“And your bull riding?” You ask.

“I gotta finish out the circuit,” he says. “We’ll need the money and I made a commitment. Once that’s done though, so am I. It was always about a way to leave here anyway.”

“You’re giving up a lot for someone you hardly know,” you tell him.

“I am getting a whole hell of a lot,” he argues back with a soft smile. “You think this compares to 8 seconds on a bull? Nah, not by a mile.”

In the show, Rhett is a hot mess express but under all that is a person who desperately wants to be loved and belong to a family that will love and support him back. He is also someone who will step up and protect the ones he loves. I wanted this conversation to convey that.

Rhett needs the reader to know that even though they don't know each other, he's gonna take care of her, and do the right thing. He starts by acknowledges her fears and asks her to give him the chance to be the man she needs. My favorite line is his response to her question about him giving up bull riding which we can see is important to him in the show.

"You think this compares to 8 seconds on a bull? Nah, not by a mile.”

I also think that bull riding is tangled up in wanting his father's approval since we know Royal was talented at it. Which makes me think he'd be fine giving it up for the chance at something more. Everything in this little piece is making a point to her that she and the baby are his most important focus now.

I just loved getting to show that.💙

#is #⁉

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panlight · 3 years

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Do you think that Edward genuinely loves Bella or does he cling to her because he can't hear her thoughts and/or to maintain some semblance of humanity? Do you think it's a mix? What about Jacob? Does he legitimately love Bella romantically, is he only drawn to Egg!Nessie (ugh, gross), or is he confusing his platonic affection for Bella because he's scared for her? If none of the involved parties were supernatural, do you think that they'd be interested in each other?

SM clearly intends that Edward and Bella have the greatest love story of all time. She spells this out pretty explicitly on her website when comparing them to great lovers in literature and saying E/B are better:

What if true love left you? Not some ordinary high school romance, not some random jock boyfriend, not anyone at all replaceable. True love. The real deal. Your other half, your true soul’s match. What happens if he leaves?

The answer is different for everyone. Juliet had her version, Marianne Dashwood had hers, Isolde and Catherine Earnshaw and Scarlett O’Hara and Anne Shirley all had their ways of coping.

I had to answer the question for Bella. What does Bella Swan do when true love leaves her? Not just true love, but Edward Cullen! None of those other heroines lost an Edward (Romeo was a hothead, Willoughby was a scoundrel, Tristan had loyalty issues, Heathcliff was pure evil, Rhett had a mean streak and cheated with hookers, and sweet Gilbert was much more of a Jacob than an Edward).

Obviously the intent is that Edward 100% loves her in the truest most romantic most selfless sense of the word.

But, I mean, you don’t have to read it that way. I keep coming back to how SM herself explains Edward’s initial interest in Bella vs Esme’s initial interest in Carlisle as written in the guide:

Carlisle is unique to Esme because of who he IS--thoughtful and attentive. Bella is unique to Edward because of her silent mind and delicious blood. The former just feels more real and genuine to me but your mileage may vary. The latter seems to imply to me that Edward wouldn’t have noticed Bella or fallen in love with her without those two things that have nothing to do with her essence as a person (okay maybe the silent mind is loosely related to her introversion, I will grant that). But I suppose SM’s argument was that she was designed that way because they ARE destined to be together so whether he would be interested in her without those things are a moot point because she was always destined to be designed that way to entice him or whatever, and that once those superficial things attracted Edward’s interest, he genuinely fell in love with her as a person.

re: Jacob I am firmly in the camp that his initial New Moon feelings were 100% real. He can’t imprint or feel an imprinting pull to Bella or future!Renesmee or anyone until he phases. He hadn’t phased yet and was still into Bella. So that was real. Maybe all the stuff post-wolfening was imprint related and that’s why he went so off the rails, idk, but those original sweet, supportive, selfless, sunny feelings? Those were legit. He always seemed to understand and relate to Bella better than Edward. Edward loved her but was constantly “surprised” by her; he didn’t understand her the way Jacob did, which he even comments on at some point.

So I think Jacob would still be interested in Bella without the supernatural stuff because IMHO that’s already true in canon. Edward is harder to say. I think the implication is there that he wouldn’t (if he’s not a vampire neither her silent mind nor her blood would draw his attention in the first place) but I think SM would be horrified by that and insist they were always destined to be together, supernatural or not.

#asks

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summersun4youforever · 3 years

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✨ Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

tagged by my fav @loulovehome thank you pu hope that this quells your curiosity!

MUSIC

fav genre? not to be that person but i think i have a toe in most genres, i suppose my favorites have got to be anything taylor swift does, pop punk, r&b pop/new age r&b, and bluegrass

fav artist? again, not to be that person but i love so many artists! let’s do this based off of genre: taylor swift, 1D, 5sos, massive focus on ZAYN, the Avett brothers, and counting crows

fav song? fav song of all time (since i was young) is going to be come around by rhett miller but more currently i’d say you are in love by taylor swift and dRuNk by ZAYN

song currently stuck in your head? i have no idea how it got there but i have stressed out by 21 pilots stuck in my head??

5 fav lyrics? ok let’s do this kids. edit: this went in a “fav love song lyrics” way so sorry in advance.

1) I hope that I don't sound to insane when I say / There is darkness all around us / I don't feel weak but I do need sometimes for her to protect me / And reconnect me to the beauty that I'm missin' (January Wedding - The Avett Brothers)

2) Hands around my waist / You're counting up the hills across the sheets / And I'm a falling star / A glimmer lighting up these cotton streets / I admit I'm a bit of a fool for playing by the rules / But I've found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you (Disconnected - 5sos)

3) This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game / Unless you play it good and right / These are the hands of fate / You're my Achilles heel / This is the golden age of something good / And right and real (State of Grace - Taylor Swift)

4) What if I changed my mind / What if I said it's over / I been flying so long / Can't remember what it was like to be sober / What if I lost my lives? / What if I said "Game over"? / What if I forget my lies? / And I lose all my composure (Back to Life - ZAYN)

5) I never said I was perfect / Or you don't deserve a good person to carry your baggage / I know a few girls that can handle it / I ain't that kind of chick, but I can call 'em for you if you want / I never said that you wasn't attractive / Your style and that beard, ooh, don't get me distracted / I'm tryna be patient, and patience takes practice / The fact is I'm leaving, so just let me have this (Jerome - Lizzo)

BOOKS

fav book genre? murder mystery and young love!

fav writer? jane austen, lisa jewell, and rick riordan (nostalgia ok?!)

fav book? the way i used to be my amber smith, rebecca by daphane du maurier, and then she was gone OR watching you (both by Lisa Jewell)

fav book series? i guess the whole percy jackson situations? i have everything RR every wrote, and i liked it all but i havent touched the older ones in ages

comfort book? not one specifically but the nancy drew books

perfect book to read on a rainy day? bird summons by leila aboulela

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? i hope i can name five...

1) “The point is, life has to be endured, and lived. But how to live it is the problem.” “I am no traveller, you are my world.” (both are My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier)

2) “And I’m terrified he’ll see through the tough iceberg layer, and he’ll discover not a soft, sweet girl, but an ugly fucking disaster underneath.” (The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith)

3) "I cannot make speeches, Emma," he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. Yes, you see, you understand my feelings and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.” (Emma by Jane Austen) (sorry for the length, the shortened versions were not cutting it for me)

4) “Read, read, read. That's all I can say.” (The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene)

5) “...amazing how boring you can get away with being when you’re pretty. No one seems to notice. When you’re pretty everyone just assumes you must have a great life. People are so short-sighted, sometimes. People are so stupid. I have a dark past and I have dark thoughts. I do dark things and I scare myself sometimes.” (Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell)

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? i like dramedies, mockumentaries, and procedurals

fav movie? ive got a massive list on my phone but ill pick Doob (No Bed of Roses) and 3-Iron as my favs for today

comfort movie? 2000s romcoms, im talking clueless, 13 going on 30, how to loe a guy in ten days, ten things i hate abt you, legally blonde

movie you watch every year? mamma mia and all listed in prev question

fav tv show? too many, currently im rewatching arrested development

comfort tv show? new girl

most rewatched tv show? new girl

ultimate otp? shawn and jules from psych (ultimate bc ive been watching since diapers literally)

5 fav characters? winston bishop, stiles stilinski, bellamy blake, clarke griffin, lydia martin

super fun even though it took me an hour lmao, I'm tagging @technosoot @hometothecanyonmoon @sassylilnoodle @sushiniall @rosegold-thorns no pressure and sorry if youve already been tagged!

edit: i somehow managed to forget what i consider to be one of the greatest opening verses ever???? so bonus lyrics:

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog / Where no one notices the contrast of white on white / And in between the moon and you / The angels get a better view / Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right (Round Here - Counting Crows)

#lei te night thoughts #personal #tagged

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13-reasons-ideas · 4 years

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Marry Me - Monty’s Perspective

A/N: Here it is. I’m so sorry this took so long to put out. I was having a really hard time getting into the right headspace to write this. I hope you guys like it! I recommend listening to Thomas Rhett’s Marry Me when you read this. As usual, feedback is appreciated and much love! -Em

Ellie was coming back into town for her engagement party this weekend. I was the first person she called when Evan proposed. She damn near gave me a heart attack when I answered, and she was scream-crying.

Flashback

I was watching the Chargers game when Ellie called. “Hey Elliebear.”

“Heaskedmetomarryhim.” She screeched on the other line. I had no idea what she said. It sounded like she was crying. And that I would be deaf in one ear. I pulled the phone away from my head until she stopped freaking out.

“What was that?”

“Evan proposed.” What?

“Oh?”

“And I said yes. I’m getting married Montgomery.” Oh.

“That’s great Ellie. Congratulations. I’m happy for you.” I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the pit that was forming.

“Thank you. I wanted you to be the first one to know, so I just wanted to call you quick. I can hear the game in the background, and we have more people to call so I’ll let you go now.”

“Okay, tell Evan I said hi and congratulations.”

“I will. Bye Monty.”

“Bye Ellie.” I hung up and sat back on the couch. She’s getting married.

End flashback

I was on break at work when I got a text from Ellie.

Hey you. I just got into town with Evan for the weekend. Are you free tonight?

I texted her back a few minutes later, yeah I’m free. What’s up?

She replied right away. Drinks or coffee? Just you and me. My parents are going over some details for tomorrow with Evan that they don’t want me around for.

Sure. Meet you at Monet’s at six?

I’ll save you a seat. Usual order?

You know I don’t change things Elliebear.

I stopped at home to change after work into something more comfortable. I grabbed a clean pair of jeans and a random t-shirt before grabbing an old flannel and running out the door, so I wasn’t late.Ellie barely beat me to the café. It wasn’t surprising really, since she was always the early one.

“Hey, what can I get you this evening?” the barista asked her.

“Can I get a-”

“She’ll get a skinny vanilla bean latte with only one pump of vanilla, a dash of cinnamon, and extra foam in a for here cup. I’ll get a regular black coffee. And she’ll also have the chicken and spinach sandwich.” I said behind her. The barista looked at her, unsure if she should ring it in or not. Ellie nodded and turned around to face me. Before I had a chance to say anything, she jumped into my arms for a hug.

“Hey Elliebear.” I grunted.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Our orders were finished quickly as it was surprisingly slow for a Friday night. Luckily, that meant our table was free. We sat down and conversation flowed easily. It was almost like we had never been apart.

“The ring is nice. It suits you. Bigger than I thought you would like but it’s nice.”

“It is nice, yeah. That reminds me, Evan said he’s looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.”

“So am I. See who finally caught your interest.”

“I was interested in other people before Evan.” She told me, scandalously. Sure, you did El. I didn’t let myself think about the possibility of her liking me that way when we were younger.

“Ellie. That guy from drama class doesn’t count. And neither does your chemistry partner.”

“I was not interested in Adam. And Zach was my chemistry partner. I can assure you I was not into him.”

“Please, enlighten me as to these people you were interested in before Evan.”

“There was,” she paused. “Dylan from sophomore English was cute. Ian. Couple other guys in high school. Peter from my first year anthropology class was… very attractive, and smart.”

“One guy aside from Evan? University of Georgia is a big school. There’s no way you only had eyes for two people.”

“I was busy. I practically lived in the library when I wasn’t in class or my dorm. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Is there a girl I should be hearing about? Or should have heard about?”

“Nah. Nothing important or anything to write home about. I was busy.” I wouldn’t call what I did, dating. The point wasn’t to find someone to bring home. Who I wanted to bring home was over 900 miles away.

“Oh please Monty, you played ball at OSU. You honestly expect me to believe there was no girl in your life?”

“No, no. There were girls. Just nothing really serious.”

“Uh, huh.” She replied, sarcastically. We reached for our cups at the same time and our hands brushed. I was immediately transported back to the day of homecoming in senior year.

Flashback

“Remember students. The homecoming game is tonight at 6:30. You’ll want to be there early as our Liberty Tigers take on the Hildebrandt Mustangs if you want good seats. It’s sure to be a nail biter.” Principal Bolan’s voice boomed from the intercom during the morning announcements.

“Don’t know why he’s hyping it up to be a nail biter.” Scott laughed.

“We are playing Hildebrandt. We could literally not show up and still win.” I joked. “Have any of you seen Ellie? She’s usually here to force me to English by now.”

“Nah man.” Scott replied.

“Need lover girl to make sure you do what you’re supposed to?” Bryce teased.

“Fuck off. It’s not like that with us.” Unfortunately.

“Sure it’s not Monty. I refuse to believe you never hit it.”

“Don’t talk about her like that.” I threatened, lowly. Don’t push it man. Bryce shut up at my tone. “I’m going to go try and find her. I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

She was arranging her books when I found her at her locker. She was trailed by Clay and Alex. I pulled her into my arms and lifted off the ground. “Montgomery, put me down!” she laughed.

“Never.” I laughed, evilly.

“I have to grab my chem book. And go to chemistry.”

“I’ve got it.” Zach said as he grabbed her book, “you carrying her to class today?”

“Nah, I thought about it but since I had to come find her this morning, I figure she can make it there on her own.”

“I was running late. My alarm didn’t go off when it was supposed to.”

“Excuses, excuses.” I replied, putting her down and shaking my head.

“I’ll see you guys later? Zach and I are running late.”

“Sure. Justin said if I don’t go to the game tonight, he’d tell mom and dad about Ani. And I don’t want to deal with that.”

“Someone has to keep Clay company, so I have to go too.” Alex said, pushing clay lightly.

“Great. I’ll see you then. See you at lunch Monty.”

I sat through just about the driest English class of my life, counting the minutes on my watch. Math was no better. We were reviewing for a test that almost the whole

class failed. Somehow that was our fault for not studying enough. I let out a sigh of relief when the lunch bell rang.

The table was already mostly full when Ellie came and sat next to me. “Ellie, think you could pray for us to not lose this game tonight?” Bryce sniggered from the end of the table.

“Hey, quit being a dick.” I stated. Bryce responded by chucking a grape at me. I threw it back at him. I knew how important her faith was to her. Some things just weren’t okay to be joked about or questioned. When it came to Ellie, faith was one of them.

“It’s fine Monty. Not like he hasn’t done it before.” I know he has. I don’t like it. “It’s going to take a lot more than God to help you win if you don’t learn to throw better than that in the next six hours. But sure.” I watched her from the corner of my eye as she smirked to herself before beginning. I’d seen her pray for real before. This wasn’t that. “Lord, please help the guys win tonight. Give them the ability to not trip over themselves when they make plays. And God, please show Bryce how to make the ball go where it’s supposed to and not hit some poor kid in the head again. Maybe, just maybe, then he will get laid tonight and we all know that’s really why he asked me to pray.” She smirked at Bryce. I choked on my juice. She probably isn’t wrong. Was pretty funny when that kid got hit though.

“You need to quit hanging out with Monty, he’s rubbing off on you too much. And I was serious.”

“I know. I’ll do it for real after lunch. You can sit with me if you want.” She was true to her word. I was late for Geography because I was watching her sit in an empty alcove praying. Bryce didn’t sit with her.

The locker room was abuzz with excitement. It was the homecoming game. Not to mention our season opener. If we wanted to start the season off right, we had to win. Sure, we joked around about Hildebrandt being an easy team to beat-they came in second to last in the league last year-but there was still a chance they would pull off a miracle. Especially if Bryce threw like he did at lunch. “Yo Monty, is Ellie coming to Monet’s tonight?”

“She said she would. Not that she’ll give you the time of day.” I waved off Matt’s question. She’s not interested. Trust me. Find someone else to have your eyes on. Several ‘oooo’s were voiced around us.

“How do you know?”

“Just do, man.”

“I could treat her real nice. She’d beg me for more.” Are you fucking kidding me?

“Oh shit.” Someone muttered, seriously. I didn’t really hear who it was. The sound of my blood rushing in my ears was too loud. Coach Kerba wasn’t in the room. He was talking to Banes about plays. No one in here will snitch. Not when it’s about Ellie.

I immediately turned towards him and cornered him against his locker. The rest of the team stood silently, watching us. I got real close to his face so only he would hear me. “You even think about her like that again and I will bury you so deep they’ll need ground penetrating radar to find you. Not that they’d recognize you if anyone found your body. If you so much as brush against her too hard in the halls, I’ll break your jaw. You understand Carraway?”

“Y-yeah. I got you. Never said a word.” He breathed in response. I had scared the living shit out of him. Good. I stepped away from him and after a few beats the incident was forgotten and the mood was light again.

The game wasn’t that exciting. Had it not been homecoming, most people probably wouldn’t have shown up. As expected, it was in our favour most of the first half. Ellie waved at me between plays. She was practically beaming. During the second half Hildebrandt seemed to find their groove and the game was at least interesting to play. It wasn’t the nail biter Principal Bolan had promised this morning. Everyone knew that regardless of how we played, we would end up winning. The game ended and the team and the crowd were excited. Matt and Garrison were so excited by the win, they tripped over their own feet and faceplanted on the sidelines. The excitement died down for a moment until they shot up and went on celebrating.

I waited for Ellie outside the locker room, as per our tradition. “Good game.” She called.

“Of course, it was. I was on the field.” I smirked.

“Modest as ever I see.”

“Do you expect anything else at this point Elliebear?” “Not really. But I can hope, maybe one day.”

“Maybe, but not likely.”

“Oh hey, while I’m thinking about it, Clay asked me to keep an eye on Justin tonight.”

“Is everything okay?” My brow furrowed.

“I think so. Clay said something about him having issues adjusting and stuff. Do you think you can play nice with him for a while?”

“I suppose, since he is your friend, I can try and be nice for a while. But not all night. I want some Ellie time.” Only because it’s you asking.

“And you’ll get your Ellie time. After you make nice with Justin.”

I sighed, making it seem like a hassle just to get a rise out of her. I was about to respond when Bryce called us, “are you two going to stand there and chit chat all night or are we going to celebrate?”

“We’re coming. Give us a minute asshole.” I called back to him. Bryce didn’t respond.

I turned around so I could give her a piggyback out to the car. “Hop on”. Once she felt secure, I walked us out to the parking lot. I pretended to not pay attention when she stole my baseball hat. She couldn’t see the way my smirk turned into a smile when she did.

“That’s my hat El.”

“I know. I happen to like it though, so I’m wearing it.”

“I’m not getting it back tonight, am I?”

“Nope. It is now mine. Might even write my name in it.”

“You do that Ellie. I won’t care when I steal it back who’s name it has in it.” Already has my name in it. Yours would just complete it.

“Fine. Then I’ll readjust it.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I would.”

I set her down at her car. “No, you wouldn’t.” I called her bluff. You’re too sweet to do it. Or you’d fix it right away if you did. She rolled her eyes at me.

“Whatever. I’ll see you at Monet’s in a few with your precious hat.” I waited until she got in her car and drove off, before starting my own engine and following her.

Ellie beat me to Monet’s as usual. I nodded at and stopped to chat with some of my teammates when I came in. Matt nodded awkwardly at me as I passed. I glared in return. My coffee was set across from her when I got to our table. “I see you told the truth. Can I have it back now?”

“No. I think it looks quite fetching on me, if I do say so myself.”

“Fetching?”

“Yes. Do you disagree?”

“No, I think it looks good on you.” Not that anything would look bad on you. Suits her. She’s wearing my shirt.

“That’s what I thought.”

We chatted quietly before Justin showed up. “Hey guys.” He waved.

“Justin! You made it.” She exclaimed, too excitedly. Making him think you were forced to babysit him by being overly happy isn’t going to help Elliebear. I shot her a tone it down look. Justin smiled uncomfortably as she offered up her seat. “Make room.”

“Can do sweetheart.” I flirted, patting the chair next to me. The smile and blush she tried to mask didn’t go unnoticed.

“Thanks for the coffee Ellie.” Justin said, taking a sip.

“No problem.” The three of us chatted idly for a while. I was on my best behaviour with Justin and even laughed a few times at couple things he said. There was no mention of what he witnessed in the locker room.

My hand found Ellie’s under the table and I grasped it carefully. I had to make it look like I hadn’t done it intentionally. I could see the pink flare of her cheeks and my lip twitched upwards.

“Hey Justin, come over here and look at this.” Charlie called. He was looking at something on Garrisons’ phone. Justin left us to go investigate. I caught the quick glance at our hands, even if Ellie didn’t. Thank you, Foley.

“And then there were two.” I muttered, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Then there were two.” She repeated.

“That shirt looks good on you. It’s pretty familiar too.”

“Oh, yeah. There may be a reason for that.” She seemed nervous.

“Need to go talk to Mike?”

“Not if you don’t have a problem with it. I think he would agree it was simply borrowing, rather than stealing. No need to involve Jesus.”

“I am. So now you’ve got my shirt and my hat. Anything else you intend on taking of mine?” I slowly inched closer to her. We have never gone here. But there’s no way she doesn’t feel this pull.

“Possibly. Depends what else you’re willing to offer.” She said, coyly. My fingers itched to brush the hair from her face. She beat me to it.

“I think there’s a thing or two I could offer you Ellie.” I replied, leaning in a little more. What am I doing? What if she doesn’t feel the same way. Am I about to ruin our friendship? Do I even care? Before I could kiss her, fucking Bryce Walker beckoned from across the room. Son of a bitch. You couldn’t wait two god damn seconds, could you? This better be important.

I stopped just short of kissing her. “What?” I answered, curtly.

“My place, half an hour.” He called back. That is what was so important you had to interrupt this moment? That could have waited. Fucker. I nodded in response and turned back to Ellie, hoping the moment wasn’t gone. I knew it was though. I sighed internally. She was smiling at me, but it didn’t reach her eyes like it normally did. She’s upset. I didn’t know what to say to try and salvage our moment. Instead, I watched her take a sip of her latte and check her watch.

“Shoot. Is that really the time? I have plans with my mom in the morning. I should get going.” I’ll take bullshit for 200, Alex. She never was a good liar.

“Oh, okay. Are we still on for waffles Sunday afternoon?” I tried to hide my disappointment.

“Yeah. Be at my place around one? I need to talk to Pastor Mike about a few things after service.”

“I’ll be there. Text me when you get home.”

“I will.” She hurried out of the café so fast, someone might think there was a fire.

I threw my head back in my chair and ran my hands down my face. Bryce and Matt were watching me when I looked out at the room again. I mimicked Ellie’s actions and took my half empty cup to the counter. “You couldn’t have waited one minute, could you Walker?” I grumbled as I passed him.

“Sorry dude.” He called after me. “My place-.”

“Half an hour. Yeah. I got that.” I shook my head as I left the café.

End flashback

I turned to watch her take a sip of her latte. She still savoured the taste and licked her bottom lip the same way. “What about the blonde girl you told me about briefly?”

Blonde girl… Lip piercing? No. Was a red head. The sorority girl? That was the brunette with the Adderall. Blonde… oh! Chirpy. “Sara?”

“Yeah.”

“She was nice. Very peppy and chipper though.”

“Ah yes. Need to keep up that stoic exterior. Can’t have someone too chipper, lest people think you have a soul or something.” You always thought I did.

“Exactly.” I laughed. He took a long sip from his cooled coffee. “Can you imagine if I brought her home?”

“Well, knowing your mother, I would probably be attending your engagement party tomorrow instead of the other way around.”

“Oh probably.”

“How is your mom doing, by the way?” “She’s doing okay. After dad died, she was pretty out of it for a few months. She’s gotten better with time though. Really started to come into her own and forge her own path.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Not going to ask how I’m doing Ellie?”

“No. I know how you’re doing.”

“Oh really?”

“Montgomery. I am your best friend. Your dad was never a parent. DNA doesn’t make someone your family. You’re doing the same as you did the day you left and vowed to never speak to him again.”

Her easy explanation surprised me. “Sometimes I forget how well you know me.”

“I know. That’s why I have to remind you all the time.”

“Yeah, yeah. How did Evan react to Scott on the way from the airport?”

“I’m not totally sure. I don’t think he realized how things worked at Liberty and exactly what you and I being friends meant. Scott told him about the treehouse.” Oh God.

“Oh no. Ellie. I need to look the guy in the eye tomorrow.”

“I know you do. Don’t worry. He didn’t seem upset or anything. I think he found it amusing actually.”

“Did he tell him anything else?”

“About you?”

“Yeah.”

“No, mentioned how you guys fucked up and didn’t study for midterms and I singlehandedly kept you all on the team. And how Matt and Garrison managed to keep themselves above their feet until after homecoming senior year.”

“Of course, he did.”

“Don’t worry. Evan will like you.”

“How do you know?” Why do I care? Because you love her you dolt.

“Because I like you. And even though you think you are, you really aren’t a bad guy.” We talked for about another hour or so, just catching up, before we decided to call it a night.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Three o’clock sharp.”

“Good.” She squeezed me tightly. When we pulled apart, I looked down and saw she was wearing my shirt. She kept it all these years.

“Is that my shirt?”

“Yes, it is.”

“I thought I lost that years ago.”

“You never asked for it back. We agreed that I technically borrowed it, remember?”

“Yeah, but I also thought you would have given it back by now.”

“I mean, I can give it back to you tomorrow if you want it.” She offered.

“No, no. You keep it. You seem comfortable in it.” She smiled and hugged me again before leaving.

No matter how much I tried to talk myself into cancelling at the last minute or just not showing up to the party, I couldn’t do it. As much as I wanted to let her finally think that I was an ass, I couldn’t. I couldn’t hurt her like that. So, I manned up and went to Ellie’s engagement party. I showed up right at three, as promised. “Hey you.” She beamed. Her whole face lit up when she saw me.

“Hey Elliebear.” I said as I hugged her. Evan stood to the side, giving us a moment. He looked so uncomfortable with our interaction. Maybe he noticed how much brighter her face got when she saw me. She pulled away first and turned towards her fiancé.

“Evan, this is Monty. Monty, this is Evan.” She motioned between us. I shook his hand awkwardly.

“So, you found the way to Ellie’s heart, huh?”

“Yeah. She is something special. I thank God every day that she decided to give me a chance.”

“Don’t I know it?” I replied, trying to hide the wistfulness and ignore the pang of jealously in my chest.

Jill called her over for something and she pointed Scott out to me. Trying to avoid a pissing match El? “Coming Mom. Scott is over there by the cupcakes. Try to keep him from eating himself to a sugar high?”

I laughed, “can do Ellie. It was nice meeting you Evan. Congratulations.”

“You too Monty. Enjoy the party.” He doesn’t like me.

“Hey Scotty.”

“I didn’t think you’d show up. Justin and I had a bet going. I owe him fifty bucks.”

“Well, you know. It’s Ellie.” I grabbed a cupcake from the stand and took a bite. Not bad. I see why she wants me to monitor Scott.

“That’s why I didn’t think you’d come.”

“You came.” Justin said, patting me on the back in lieu of greeting.

“Yup. Where’s Sasha?”

“Girl talk with Ellie and Jess and some other girls.”

“Riveting. What choice did I have? My options were come, watch her with Evan, and hate every second of it for an hour or two, or, not come and have her hate me for the rest of our lives.”

“I guess. Are you going to go to the wedding?” Justin asked.

“See if Evan lets her invite me first. He doesn’t seem too impressed so far. Thanks for that by the way Scott.”

“I’m sure he’ll warm up to you.”

“If you’re invited? Which you will be, because you’re her best friend.”

“Then what kind of best friend would I be, if I didn’t go to her wedding? I’d just hate myself for a few more hours then. That’s better than a lifetime of her hating me.”

“Fair. Look, if you want to leave, just say the word. We can go back to my place and drink.” Scott offered.

“Thanks. I need to stick it out. It’s Ellie.” The rest of the party was fine. I talked to Jill and Rob for a while. I even talked to Evan for a bit. It was awkward but we didn’t fight each other. If he suspected anything about my feelings for her, he didn’t say anything. I left that evening, wondering if he noticed Ellie looking for me and not him all afternoon and letting my brain go somewhere it hadn’t gone in years. At least, not willingly gone in years.

I held out some sick hope that maybe, just maybe, the engagement wouldn’t last. I knew it was wrong of me, but I couldn’t help it. This was the girl that I had been in love with since the eighth grade. That’s when she stopped being like one of the guys. When she became something more. Even though I knew it wasn’t an attainable thing, even back then, there was always this little spark of hope. She was the reason I didn’t really date in college. She was the reason no girl was worth bringing home to meet my mom. They were all compared to her. They would always be compared to her. I always hoped that she felt the same way about me as I felt about her. That hope vanished when I checked my mail after work that Wednesday. The fancy envelope and familiar script were enough of a giveaway. I didn’t need to open the card to know what it was. The invitation. I sighed as I went in the house and opened the card. I merely skimmed for the important dates and time. I knew in that moment that I had finally lost her. I also knew that I would go anyway as I signed, sealed, and mailed the RSVP that night. I had to go. It’s Ellie.

The day had finally arrived. I had been dreading this day for the better part of a year. It was the morning of Ellie’s wedding. I woke up, forced myself to get out of bed, made coffee, and showered. I stared at the black suit hanging on my bedroom door for fifteen minutes. Arguing with myself about if I was really going to do this was getting me nowhere closer to a decision. If I go, I’ll hate myself. If I don’t go, she’ll hate me. If I go, I’m losing her. If I don’t go, I’m losing her. If I go, then I’ll get to see her. If I don’t go, I won’t see her. If I go, I’ll have to hold my feelings in forever. If I don’t go, I’ll have to hold my feelings in forever. Finally, I came to a decision. I wasn’t willing to risk losing her because I couldn’t show up for her. If I wasn’t going to be able to be with her, at least I could still be in her life. Maybe. But I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. I put the suit on and fixed my hair. Then I went to the liquor cabinet and filled a flask with whiskey. I couldn’t drink it in church because if Ellie found out, she would kill me, Ten Commandments be damned.

I arrived at the church forty-five minutes before the ceremony was scheduled to start. I took a sip from the flask in my pocket on the city sidewalk. Spotting Bryce, I walked over to him. “Hey.”

“Hey man, how’s it going?”

“It’s going, you?”

“Same old, same old.” We chatted mindlessly for a few minutes until Justin showed up with Clay and Sasha. I’m shocked we haven’t gotten a happy announcement from them yet. She looks thrilled.

“Justin, Clay. Hey Sasha.” The trio greeted me, and Clay took Sasha inside. He seemed to pick up on the displeasure radiating off of her.

“Holding up okay?” Justin asked.

“Sure.”

“He’s at his best friend’s wedding.”

“I know. Just trying to be nice Bryce.” Zach showed up and broke some of the tension brewing between Bryce and Justin. Never thought I’d be happy to see Zach freaking Dempsey.

“So, I heard from one of the groomsmen that she looks beautiful.”

“Of course, she does. It’s Ellie. And it’s her wedding day.” I said. Scott found us milling in the back of the chapel and came over. He didn’t bother greeting us.

“Have you talked to her?” he asked.

“No. I wanted to give her space. In case I decided not to come.”

“Oh. You could go talk to her now.”

“And say what Scott?”

“Tell her.”

“Tell her what? It’s her wedding.”

“I know that.” I looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to our little group. They weren’t.

“Tell her what exactly Scott? How do you propose I go about telling her that I think she’s making a mistake and that I’ve been in love with her since we were thirteen? I’m not going to do that. Not today. Not ever. I’m not messing this up for her.” I whisper-yelled.

“He has a point Scott.” Zach pointed out.

“If I say something, I’ll lose her forever. So, to avoid losing my best friend, I’m going to sit here, watch her marry the man she loves, and wish her the best. And then I will go home, get very drunk, and sleep the hangover off for the next two days.”

Scott raised his hands in defeat. “Okay. I get your point. I’m not going to push you into doing something you don’t want to do.” Even though I made a good little speech, the closer we got to the ceremony, the more uncomfortable I became. I couldn’t stop the thoughts of wanting to do exactly what Scott suggested. I wanted nothing more than to go find her and tell her how I felt. But then I looked around the room and saw all of these people waiting excitedly to see Ellie and Evan get married and live happily ever after. I wasn’t going to be the reason that didn’t happen. But the closer we got to ceremony time, the closer I also got to losing my resolve to sit here and watch this happen. I couldn’t watch her marry someone else.

“I can’t do this.” I said suddenly.

“What?” Zach asked.

“I can’t watch her marry him. I can’t sit here and watch them get married. I can’t give her up like this.”

“What are you doing Monty?” Scott asked. I stood up from my seat.

“Tell Ellie that I’m sorry.” With nothing more to say, I turned around and walked out of the church. My friends didn’t try to follow me, too stunned to process what was happening. I got in my car and drove. I wasn’t sure where I was driving until I pulled into the lot.

I opened the door to the quaint café and saw that our table was available. Though, I suppose now it was more my table than our table. I lost her today. There was no way I was getting her back after what I did. I slipped my jacket off and hung it over a chair to save the spot, before going to the counter and ordering.

“Can I get a tall bourbon neat. Make it a double.” Monet’s had been licensed a few years ago.

“Sure thing. Rough day?” The barista asked.

“You have no idea.” I shook my head and took the drink she set in front of me. Back at what was now only my table, I pulled out my phone and scrolled though some old photos. A lot of them were of Ellie. She used to like to steal my phone and leave me with some selfies to surprise me when I opened the app. I scrolled through the seemingly endless stream of photos and ordered another bourbon when I finished the first one. My trip down memory lane was interrupted when I got a text from Bryce.

I need you to tell me where you are.

Why?

Because I do. Now tell me where you are.

Why?

Montgomery. You want to tell me where you are.

Fine. If you must know. I’m at Monet’s. Now why do you need to know?

I’m sorry about homecoming night. I hope this can make it up to you at least a little. I stared at the screen in confusion. Shaking my head, I put my phone down and went back to sipping the amber liquor. What the hell is he talking about? Fucking Bryce. I didn’t look up when I heard the bell chime above the door. Nor did I look up when I heard the click of high heels against the wood floors.

“Is this seat taken?” I heard a familiar voice, softly.

I looked up at her then, my eyes widening in surprise. What is she doing here? She is supposed to be getting married to Evan. What does this mean? Why is she here?

“I couldn’t do it if you weren’t there. You’re my best friend Monty.”

I scoffed quietly before replying, “it’s not taken, no. Sit if you want,” and taking another drink from my glass, not looking at her for fear of letting my guard down again, only to be crushed again.

“Hey,” she started, reaching for my hand. I looked at her hand and paused before letting her take it, “I mean it. I couldn’t marry him.”

“Why not?”

She was quiet for a moment. Noticing I had about fingers width of bourbon left in my glass, she grabbed it, downing the rest of it.

“Hey. I was drinking that.” I protested.

“I couldn’t marry Evan because he wasn’t you. And you weren’t there to say anything by the time I walked down the aisle. You were just going to give me away and live the rest of our lives wondering what if.” She told me while she stared into the bottom of the now empty glass.

“You- really?” Wait, how did she know I was there? “How did you know…?”

“Zach told me.” Of course, he did. I sighed internally.

“I know I wasn’t there Ellie. I just. I couldn’t sit there in that church and watch you marry him. And I knew I was and would be too much of a coward to stand up and say something when I saw you standing up there with him. I had to let you be happy.” I told her, trying to make her understand that I couldn’t be the reason she spent her life unhappy.

“Don’t you get it Montgomery? I wouldn’t have been happy. Not really. Or at least not for long. Not with Evan.”

“So why did you agree to marry him?”

“Because I thought it would be easier? My friends liked him, my family liked him, I liked him. I just thought that it would be easier to ignore my feelings. I could marry him, officially move to Atlanta, come home a couple of times a year, have a couple of kids. It all seemed easier than admitting to myself that I was in love with my best friend and if I really, truly wanted to be happy, I would need to be with him instead. And that admitting that would change everything. But I’ve learned over the past year that easy doesn’t always mean happy. And sometimes what we think is easy in the short term, isn’t always easy in the long term.”

Easier. Sure. She finally admitted it. She’s in love with me. I chuckled lowly, “took you long enough.”

She furrowed her brow at me, “what is that supposed to mean? I just confessed my love for you, and that’s all you have to say?”

“Yeah. It took you long enough to come to that conclusion. You were what? Half-way through the ceremony before you put a stop to it?” I asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of my tone.

“Not exactly. I knew a while ago. I spent the whole morning shaking and waiting for you to come and tell me that I was making a mistake. When you didn’t come, I thought… that you either didn’t feel the same way, or that you were going to do the kind thing for once and not say anything, but I thought at least you would be there. When I saw that you weren’t, I knew I couldn’t marry him. Even if it was the easy choice.” When I didn’t say anything she added, “you picked a great time to do the kind thing.”

“Yeah, well. You knew it would happen sometime. You owe me another shot by the way.” I muttered.

“Oh please. There was barely a fingers width in your glass.” she told me, sighing dramatically.

I looked at her through my eyelashes, “they won’t serve you that small an amount.” she rolled her eyes and stood up to go order me another shot. Before I could chicken out again, I surprised her when I grabbed her wrist to stop her, before pulling her down into my lap, she fell rather gracefully given the fit of her dress and kissing her deeply. I pulled away first and turned to look out the window. Our friends had gotten out of the car and were clapping and high fiving each other.

“How about that shot now?” I smirked.

#montgomery de la cruz #monty de la Cruz fanfic #monty imagine #monty x reader #montgomery de la cruz x oc #montgomery de la cruz imagine #montgomery de la cruz x reader #monty de la cruz #Marry Me #Thomas Rhett #one shot #original character #zach dempsey #Bryce Walker #Justin Foley

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alleycat97 · 4 years

Text

Soft Side Pt. 2

“Chloe chill, you’re pacing is killing my vibe.” Veronica spoke locking her phone.

“Is this ugly? What if she hates it? Maybe she will think I’m insulting her?” Chloe quizzed as she nervously patted down her clothes.

Chloe had finally decided on wearing an orange flannel tied up in the back making a crop top and khaki shorts. She was hoping it would be ‘stylish for a fair’.

“Oh Chloe you look perfect, she will love it and the effort you put into it.” Veronica added.

“What about Poppy? How am I going to get away without her knowing?”

“You leave Poppy to me, I’ve already got us a manicure lined up for starters tonight.” Veronica winked. “I told her you were hanging with Ford and Luis.”

“And she bought it?” Chloe asked concerned.

“Well if she didn’t, I’m sure you would know about it by now.” Veronica replied.

Meanwhile, Bea was just as nervous. Why? She wasn’t sure. Maybe she was unsure of Chloe’s intentions. Maybe it was a trap. Or maybe, just maybe, she genuinely liked Chloe and was nervous about this ‘date’.

“I can hear you thinking.” Zoey laughed as she watched Bea pacing.

“What if it’s a trap? Why would she want to go out? I don’t feel good about this.”

“Then why did you agree so quickly?” Zoey smirked.

Bea thought over the encounter, she knew from the second she saw Chloe, she was taken back by her raw beauty. So when Chloe asked her to hangout, she just went with it. It was exciting, it was unexpected, it was love.

The doorbell rang and Bea tensed up, “Its her. Omg what do I do!”

“Answer the door dummy!” Zoey laughed shoving Bea to the door.

Bea took a deep breath and opened the door revealing a equally anxious Chloe wearing, flannel?

“Oh wow you look incredible. I love that shirt!” Bea blurted out first thing, seemingly causing Chloe to calm down.

“Oh this thing? I’ve had it for years.” There she was, confident Chloe was back. “Ready to go?”

The girls said bye to Zoey, who threatened to kill Chloe if Bea got hurt. The two made it to Chloe’s car and surprisingly, Chloe opened the door before Bea could.

Bea was ready to submit herself right there in the back of Chloe’s Mercedes. Chivalry was huge back home in Winchester, and Chloe was knocking it out of the park so far. Bea started to settle in, Chloe was actually taking this serious.

The ride was somewhat quiet, both girls were nervous. It was a complete awkward silence at times, the situation these two were in and the nasty things they have said. Neither thought they’d be here.

A slight shiver ran down Bea’s spine causing her to shake slightly.

“Are you cold? Here let me turn the heat up.” Chloe quickly doing just that, to Bea’s satisfaction. “Would you like to listen to the radio?”

“Ummm yeah sure. Do you listen to anything country?” Bea asked trying to figure out the radio.

Chloe noticed her struggling and let out a giggle, “Here, allow me.” Chloe found a country station, Thomas Rhett started blaring and Bea immediately started humming and swaying in her seat.

“I take it you like this song?” Chloe said with a chipper smile.

“Love it!”

Chloe wasn’t a country fan, but she really enjoyed Bea in her element, it made the drive blow by.

It was an hour drive out into the country, and on a Friday night, the fairground was packed. Chloe paid for parking and found a spot in the grass lot, she had never seen so much grass and dirt in her life and she was silently freaking out over the dirt on her car.

“Well! Come on! We’re going to miss the fair!” Bea started jumping up and down like a child.

“Ok ok I’m coming.” Chloe giggled catching up with Bea.

Chloe was taken back by the fair. It was similar to some of the movies she had seen, but the smell of the fried foods, the overall aura of the place was nothing she could have prepared herself for. Her mouth was watering at the smells.

“Let’s get something to eat, here look! They’ve got all the good stuff.” Bea said pulling Chloe over to a booth with a small wait line.

“Is it all greasy?” Chloe asked looking over the menu.

“Mostly, but I’ll take care of it.” Bea insisted.

“I’ll have the buffalo wings and the deep fried Oreos. And my lady will have a Gyro and the frozen yogurt. Oh! And two lemon shakeups please.”

Chloe didn’t hear anything past, ‘my lady’ She was too busy smiling like an idiot.

She didn’t even realize she was sitting down at a table and eating her food, the fair taste overloaded her circuits and brought her back to Earth.

“Earth to Chloe!” Bea shouted.

“Huh? Oh.” Chloe's face became red from embarrassment.

“Are you with me? You totally fazed out on me.”

“Oh I’m good. This food is delicious thank you.” Chloe was impressed. Not just by the food, but how Bea knew she would like it.

“You’re welcome. Fair food is like it’s own entity. You can’t come to one without eating this mess.”

Chloe looked at Bea’s platter of grease and wondered what she was missing on, and as if her mind was read, Bea was offering her some food to sample.

Chloe grabbed a wing off the plate, it was hot, and slimy and the smell of the dip and rub flooded her nose almost making her sneeze.

“I’ve never had one of these before.” She said before taking a bite, sauce going all over her mouth making Bea laugh.

“Here, you have a little something...” Bea reached over and wiped the sauce from Chloe’s face with her thumb and then licking it clean. The touch alone was electric, Chloe didn’t want Bea to remove her hand.

But she did and she tried to hide her pout. After eating, the two wondered around eating cotton candy. They went to the livestock show, the rodeo and finally, the finale, the Ferris Wheel.

Chloe wouldn’t lie, she was very nervous. She didn’t do heights. Especially on a cheap carnival ride, but here she was climbing willingly on the death trap.

The where near the top, stopping every time to get more riders on, Chloe made the mistake of looking down.

“Isn’t it great up here? The view is beautiful.” Bea said looking to a mortified Chloe. “Chloe?”

“Hmm?” She said timidly.

“Are you alright?”

“Uh huh.” She said unconvincingly.

“Oh my. You’re scared of heights.” Bea said at the revelation. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you. I thought I could do it.” Chloe said, naturally moving closer to Bea.

Bea wrapped a protective arm around Chloe who nuzzled tightly into her side. The soothing sensation of Bea rubbing Chloe’s armed calmed her down significantly and soon the ride began. It was actually nice looking over the fair, the cool night air filling her lungs, the warm embrace she was in. This night was perfect.

Before they could step off the ride, Bea placed a perfect kiss to Chloe’s temple and whispered, “I have one last thing for us.” Chloe melted. There was no way that just happened.

Chloe was pulled from her fantasy land day dream by the rugged sound of a man, “Step right up and test your skills and win a prize! How bout you little lady? Think you got what it takes? All you gotta do is shoot the bandits, but watch out, the Wild West is full of unknowns.”

Bea slapped down a $10 bill and grabbed the gun. Ready to win and adrenaline pumping.

“Well look at this little pistol. Think you got it in you missy?”

“Just turn on the game.” Bea stated.

The game sprung to life, cutouts of bandits and sheriffs dropping from the ceiling, Bea shooting true, never missing a shot. A good 3 minutes of blasting the bandits for a perfect score earned her a top prize. Bea looked her options over and obviously there was only one worth her pick. “I want that one.”

Chloe was staring at a giant Koala bear and Bea struggling to talk around it, “Here, I won this for you. I hope you like it.”

Chloe nearly fainted. This was the sweetest thing. How did Bea know she loved koala bears? God she was going to die.

“Thank you, I love it.”

The girls made it to the car and Chloe happily strapped her new bear into the backseat, Bea teasing her that it didn’t need to be buckled in. Chloe wasn’t having it, this was basically her child now. “I just want to make sure he’s safe.”

“He?” Bea laughed.

“Yes he. His name is Karl.” Chloe said immediately.

“Karl the Koala.” Bea couldn’t hold it in. The cuteness was too much. “I like it.”

The drive back to campus was much like the drive to the fair. The date was over and both girls had to get back to the unknown. This was forbidden to even happen, but neither wanted to believe it.

Chloe walked Bea to her room, lugging Karl along. “I really had a wonderful time Bea. This was the best date I have ever had.”

Bea couldn’t help but feel a ‘but’ coming on.

“But...” Chloe said earning a eye roll from Bea. “I don’t know how this will work. Poppy will kill us both if she finds out. I’ll be ruined, Poppy is dangerous Bea. She will kill me and then she will make sure your life is miserable. Even when you die.”

“Chloe.” Bea said calmly placing her soft hand on the girls cheek, reigniting that spark of energy. “I’m not worried about Poppy. I’m a big girl and you can’t worry either. I had a wonderful time tonight.”

And then quickly, before she could think, she was meeting Bea in the middle, her soft lips sweetly pressing against the other girls. It was wet, it was innocent, it was perfect. The kiss that sealed her fate. “This is going to be difficult.” Chloe admitted, pressing her forehead against Bea’s.

“I love difficult.”

#playchoices #pixelberry #chloe x mc #queen b chloe #chloe st james #queen b poppy #poppy min sinclair #queen b mc #queen b choices

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #375

“why do i see her, the never-ending night / why do i see her, wearing nothing but the dark?”

Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? I hold Rhett & Link responsible for "curing" my homophobia. I went through a phase where I shipped them like CRAZY, and they're still my "OTP," and it really made me question why I had such a disgusting belief. The switch was officially flipped when listening to their podcast with Hannah Hart, who discussed growing up as a lesbian surrounded by homophobia. Let me tell you, it felt fucking good to let that repulsive belief go. It was my former religion that tied me to it, but it could no longer be an excuse to me, even when I stayed Christian a while longer. And here I am now as a bisexual woman who wants to deck younger me dead in the face. :') Were you ever scared of driving? What scared you about it? I am TERRIFIED of driving. I'm most scared of getting in a wreck and killing somebody, something I would never. Ever. Ever. Forgive myself for. I'm also petrified of, once again, getting in a wreck and I wind up paralyzed from the neck down. The most memorable time that you skipped school, what did you do? Nothing very exciting. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Toxic masculinity for an essay in college. What is a dish you absolutely love, but hate to prepare yourself? I don't cook, so. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New York. Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? No. Why did you move to where you’re living now? Because we had to get out of our former house because the growing mold problem was a health hazard (especially for Mom, given her then-recent cancer diagnosis), and our family friend newly owned this house as a part of the former resident's will. Said resident knew Mom as well and the house problems, so she wanted Tobey to help us into this house anyway. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I literally couldn't care less. I do it a lot. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? No; Mom just pays attention to the price. Are you currently looking for a new job? No. I don't plan to until I'm done with TMS therapy. Are any of your relatives musicians? No. Have you ever had an asthma attack? Thank goodness no. My mom has asthma and I have seen her have an attack, so I know they're terrifying. Have you ever been in a hospital and not felt safe? There was one occasion during a psych hospital stay that my roommate had WILD anger issues. She would explode out of seemingly NOWHERE, to the point once or twice she had to be put in solitary because she would literally scream and damage shit, like throwing tables and such. She scared the piss out of me to the point I finally plucked up the courage to tell the nurses that I needed a different room. What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had? I don't remember. Have you ever been hospitalized for a day or more? At psych hospitals. I think my shortest visit was just shy of a week. Have you ever had surgery? Two. Are you lonely? I'm admittedly very lonely. Are you mad at someone right now? No. Do you eat late at night? I sometimes need a small midnight or so snack because I cannoooooooot sleep when my stomach is growling. If I'm in basically any sort of discomfort, I have extreme trouble sleeping. Who do you miss? A lot of people. I miss Jason, Megan, Mini, Hannia, Emily, Journee... I don't feel like dwelling on those I've lost. Who do you admire most? Mark. If you could transform into any animal what would it be and why? Maybe a cat. Quick, agile, stealthy, majestic, well-equipped to defend itself... sounds pretty good. Are you more artistic or mathematical? Definitely more artistic. Which supermarket do you usually shop at? Wal-Mart. When was the last time you went to McDonald’s? I'm not sure, but it's been a while. Maybe around a month. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I believe I had a 3 Musketeers because I was really craving one. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? The woman who was doing my evaluation to determine if I was a good fit for TMS therapy. Can you remember the first time you ever talked to the person you love/like? Does he/she remember? I think I might have a vague idea, but I don't really remember. Would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well? Yep. It sounds cheesy, but I do mean it when I say a beautiful inside blossoms into the body itself for me personally. Does the last person you kissed have brown eyes? Yes. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? I guess you could say Girt, because I had a pretty big crush on him when I started HS. We were just friends for way too long that when we finally dated years upon years later, it felt much too weird. He really was my "brother from another mother" by that point. Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you? Aaaaand he left. :^) If you decided to dye your hair, would you choose to go lighter or darker? Lighter. I want to dye my hair pastel colors so very badly. Do you know what the Enneagram is and if so, what’s your type? INFP. Do you listen to Mayday Parade? I only know "Terrible Things," which I positively adore. Do you have trouble falling asleep at night? I have an extremely hard time sleeping at night. It's honestly one reason I sometimes sleep so much during the day. Are you on a laptop, desktop or phone/iPod? A laptop. Have you ever been so angry that you screamed out of nowhere? I've screamed into a pillow. What’s the longest movie you’ve ever watched? I dunno, maybe over three hours? What was the last thing you watched on Netflix or Hulu? I have no clue. What do you think about your current relationship status? I mean I miss being in love and having someone who sees a future with me, but I know in the deepest part of me that it's wiser that I stay single until I figure some things out. Of most concern, I don't have a job or even a confident sign I'll have one soon, I'm not in school headed for a career, I don't drive, I don't cook... I'm a liability, financially and in other ways. It wouldn't be fair to my partner or even myself to go into a relationship with a heavy risk of heartbreak because I'm taking too long to get to where I want to be. I'm 25 now - if/when I get into a relationship, I want forever, and I'm not wasting time on anyone for almost inevitable failure as romantic partners. I want to AT LEAST have a steady job before I enter another relationship. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. Do you go out on dates? I have no one to go on a date with. Do you kiss on the first date? I never have and probably wouldn't, but I guess if things went very well and I was really into the person, maybe I would. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone? Doing to do. Would you rather receive a stuffed animal, flowers, or chocolate? I'd really appreciate any. I think flowers are sorta overrated though honestly, like someone ripped some healthy flowers from their roots and doomed them to a quickly-approaching death, but society still has a part of me thinking "oh that's sweet." I think more than anything, I'd be crazy over a meerkat plushy. Or would expensive jewelry just be fine? You really don't have to do that for me; I don't really wear much jewelry at all anyway. Odds are you'd be wasting your money. What’s the cheesiest romantic gift you’ve ever received? I don't know. Do you like romantic poetry? Yessssssssss. Have you ever been rickrolled? I'm unsure. Do you like bologna? Yeah. It was my favorite lunch meat as a kid. Have you ever had a nose bleed? Yes. Have you ever puked on a fair ride before? No, because I don't go on rides that generally induce that sort of risk. What animals have you ridden? Just ponies. What is your parents' idea of grounding you? Taking away my access to the computer. Dragons or unicorns? Dragons! Do you wish vampires existed? Uh, no. At the moment what is your favorite song? I'm going through another phase of really digging "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Have you ever been pantsed? No. What is your favorite magazine? I don’t read any. Did you ever like Barbies? Do you currently like Barbies? I never really was, I just played with them when my little sister wanted to. I was more into playing with my dinosaurs and Pokemon and stuff. I'm not into them now, either. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I don't know what songs are "hits" right now. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Fire, aesthetically. Have you ever been to a wild party? Nah. Do you put on a robe when it’s cold? I don't own a robe. Is the last person you kissed gay? She's demisexual. What breed was the last dog you saw? She's some sort of hound mix. We think there might be dalmatian in her, too. What type of day are you having? It's been all right. I'm just REALLY not feeling this damn heat. Driving an hour and back to the TMS office in a car that has no A/C is agony. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced multiple times, and I want to do it again, but this time with a nostril hoop versus a stud so the goddamn thing stays in. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? I have an incredibly strong preference for cold weather. Fuck the heat. Like just 70*F is "too hot" to me. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My mom. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. Do you like rain? Yes, but I don't like being caught out in it. I just like looking at and listening to it. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yep. Do you like to cuddle? If I really like you and it's not too hot, yeah. Are you shy? I'm excruciatingly shy. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Hunny, I'd do that for free. Which do you like better- zebra print or leopard print? I'm not really a fan of either particular pattern on anything but the animal. Do you have any stickers on your car? I don't have my own car, but Mom has one that allows her to park in her old school's parking lot. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? No. My sister Misty, tho

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''her silent language'' by dark tranquility

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loulougoingsolo · 4 years

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DIYing a Bold Hair Choice

So, as we all know, we live in troubling times. I've personally been living in quarantine-like arrangements for about a month now, and although I've been mostly doing alright, some things have proven to be hard. I was supposed to have my hair professionally cut and dyed this week, but I had to cancel the appointment, and at the moment, I don't know when I'll get to visit the salon for the next time. So, I had to take matters (or scissors) to my own hands.

I'm a DIYer, but I've never cut my own hair. I've also had it professionally dyed since I was 15 or so. For a short period, I only had it bleached and cut by a pro, but then dyed it myself with a pretty intense cool shade of red - but other than that, and a few toner touch ups, I've always relied on professionals. So I was in a bit of a pickle, when I realized that I'd have to either DIY or have my grey roots grow wild for months. And because my hair is short, the roots way too grey for my age, and I had all this time ln my hands, there was really only one way this could go.

When I go about a DIY project, my first step, always, is thorough research. I had an idea for what I'd attempt to achieve, so I went on Youtube and searched for diy haircuts. I got some good tutorials, but most of them were for long hair - and I also got suggested GMM episode #989, in which Rhett and Link battle in cutting their own hair (wigs). Can I just say, they predicted the Tiger King craze long before Netflix:

So, I immediately figured I would not be able to follow yhe hair styling tutorials of this GMM episode. First of all, I could only find one pair of scissors even remotely sharp enough to cut hair. They were not sharp enough. Secondly, the longest part of my hair barely reaches my chin. I would need to really commit to every snip I make, or I'd end up with a bald hair style, instead of bold. As attractive and gorgeous some people are with a fully shaved head, with my head shape, that was something to avoid at all costs.

Another thing I was worried about was that I'd probably end up cutting my own finger, like Link. I've always found it extra difficult to see my own reflection in a mirror and try to do accurate motions according to the reflection. Simply put, my brain gets confused. Also, I don't really have a way to see the back of my head through the mirror at all. How the crap am I supposed to cut anything?

At this point, I understood that the actual haircut was going to be the tough part, so I decided to focus on the dye. Since I cojldn't just go to a big supermarket to buy the equipment, I had to order the dyes online. At this point my plan was simply to buy a multitude of wild colours to mix and match according to my mood, so I ordered a tub of Midnight Blue, Daffodil Yellow, Flamingo Pink and Cerise dyes, all by the brand La Riche Directions. These dyes are semi-permanent, sonI knew they wouldn't cause permanent damage to my hair, and at this point, that was kind of my goal - whatever I do, I don'g want to ruin things too badly. But, because I'm familiar with semi-permanent dyes, and I've had pretty much every shade on the spectrum on my hair at one point, I knew I might require an extra step to see results. Which is why, "just in case", I added a hair lightening kit to my order. I figured, I'd make some lighter strands on top, to have some colours show properly.

By the time the dyes arrived, I was already pretty fed up with my grey roots. I watched the GMMore which followed the hair cut episode. Rhett, who won the haircut challenge, got to decide what colours would go in Alex's hair. Alex had done the smart thing and bleached his hair professionally to be dyed in this episode, but he somehow agreed to letting Rhett and Link add the colours.

When Rhett explains everyone how he and Link used to dye eachother's hair back in the day, I realize that even though I'm technically watching a DIY hair tutorial, they aren't actually doing it themselves. It's quite different to put dye on someone else's head than your own. (Also, something I didn't notice back when I first saw this episode: Link says it would be crazy for him to have his hair dyed, but looking back, he most certainly had his hair dyed at this time.)

It was slightly alarming to see that Alex was worried about how things would go. I could hardly expect to achieve anything much better than the guys, since at least they had the studio lighting and a full team to help rhem not screw up. I had a mirror in my dark toilet, which is barely big enough to stand in.

I also forgot to buy vaselkne, which was a big mistake - although I don't think it's even possible to buy a container that big here. Why would they have that at Mythical in the first place? But something about seeing how much trouble the guys were having controlling the unmixed streaks of dye and all that vaseline made me worried.

At this point, I need to tell you that seeing the blank canvas which was Alex's hair, I, now the proud owner of a 40 % bleack kit (which apparently is the strong stuff), decided I was not going to waste energy by trying to dye my hair without bleaching, only to find out that the colours didn't show. So, I mixed the bleach, put on a worn-out t-shirt, used hand lotion to vas up my forehead, neck and ears, and then just went for it.

I did watch quite a few proper tutorials. They taught me, firstly, that 40% was a no-no. Secondly, never bleach something that has already been bleached, especially, if your hair has multiple colours. Forth, never start from the roots, as they get bleached faster (this ended up being the only rule I followed). And, above all, go to a professional.

So, I added the bleach to my hair. First I tried sticking to just a few strands, but then a blop of the bleach fell on the wrong spot, and I figured, why not just go full head. I did. I left the stuff on for maybe 20 minutes, and after that I got scared and rinsed it off. Then, I used a silver toner, and was left with a fascinating mix of orange, yellow and white hair - and a strand of persistent green from my previous dye. But it was blond enough for my plans.

Alex had a beautiful mix of blue, pink and purple in his hair - and that accidental splash of green - and after considering thoroughly, I decided to go for these colours, too. I mean, pink, purple and blue are my jam. Also, as much as I wanted to go full rainbow, I figured it would be an impossible task to keep the different colours from mixing, and that might result in brown, which is the colour of defeat. So, I went with midnight blue, flamingo pink and cerise, and wasn't too concerned aboit getting the colours mixed together.

This is how Alex's hair looked on the episode, before he rinsed the extra dye off:

I couldn't find any good photos of his hair after it was rinsed, but tgere was one which suggested only a faint shade of blue stuck.

And finally, here's what happened with my hair. Now, I'm not posting my face here, just the hair. Imagine a white blop with green eyes below the hair, and you'll get the idea. In the first two pictures is my hair during normal times, and just before I diyed it. It looks particularly nasty in the just before hack job pic, because it was adviced not to wash your hair before bleachkng to save the scalp - but as you can see, this was not a fun thing to see in the mirror each morning:

After I had dyed my hair, I did some snips here and there, and also, because I was able to borrow a hair clipper from my dad, some clipping - which in my books, saved the day. The haircut is pretty botched, but I actually absolutely love the colour. And the criss-cross shave despite it being pretty bad - it also looks badass in real life. The picture taken outside shows the pink colours more accurately, but the cut shows better in the other pic. There are a couple of ways I can style this later on, but I kept styling to minimum for starters, because I didn't want to cause extra damage to my hair:

So, this has been the story of how I diyed my hair during quarantine. My mom loves the whole thing (I showed it to her yesterday while taking them groceries), and although there are some spots in the back which could have more colour in them, I'm pretty satisfied. I know my hairdresser is going to weep when she sees me, but she'll get over it.

So, in conclusion: Would I do this again? Yes, but I'd definately leave the cutting and bleaching to the pros. Also, now I can't really bleach again for a while. But I'm actually thinking about taking the dyes I have to my hairdresser so she can dye my hair properly with them, in a healthier way, once all this chaos settles and it's safe again. I'd probably need a slightly darker, permanent colour to the roots, but I absolutely love these insanely bright colours. And I'm so going to try the full rainbow this summer, too.

Would I recommend this to others? Yes, but with caution. The direct semi-permanent colours are safe and won't damage the hair, but bleach does. My hair is naturally a tad too dark to show bright colours properly, so I took the risk. I was also mentally prepared to shave the whole thing off and wear my mythical hat for the summer - but I'm happy that wasn't necessary. If you aren't willing to risk damaging your hair, stick to semi-permanents.

To end this post, here's a selfie I took yesterday on my grocery store trip in full safety gear (I have a paper mask under the scarf):

Stay safe! Do things that make you happy! BYMB! 💗💗💗

#diy hair #bold hair choice #inspired by #gmm 989 #diy hair cut #diy hair dye #quarantine glam #pink purple and blue hair #bymb

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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932

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: I love pro wrestling, if you count that as a sport. I definitely prefer to just stay in front of a TV – I have never been in a ring, nor am I physically fit to even give it a shot without getting harshly injured. Conversely, I love table tennis but I’d rather play it than watch a game.

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?: It was a stranger who, upon checking, seems to be some sort of spam account promoting a pyramid scheme. Happy to nope the fuck out of there.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: Definitely not. I don’t add people I didn’t know on any level, anyway.

How recently did you wash your hands?: This morning when I cleaned up after Cooper.

How many girls do you know named Emma?: Not a common name here, so I don’t know any Emmas.

[trigger warning under this I guess. Lots of angst going on at the moment.]

Are you upset, for any reason at all?: Yeah. I’ve been feeling very upset and under stress lately...to give you an idea, I find it a personal achievement to have gotten up and taken this survey. I’m at least self-aware that this is a temporary slump, but while it’s here hanging around, it really sucks to be in it.

How did you feel when you woke up today?: Shitty. The only reason I got up at all was to feed my dogs but otherwise I’ve been glued to either the couch or my bed.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?: Lately, it’s episodes of Good Mythical Morning. Rhett, Link, and their crew will never have any idea just how much they’ve helped this 22 year old, now-wondering-what-her-purpose-is-in-life fresh college graduate keep sane, but I’m glad they have hours upon hours of content and podcasts lying around to keep me company while no one else can.

What were you doing before you started this survey?: I finished another survey that I abandoned yesterday, and was watching GMM to fill up the silence in my room.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: I’ve been job-hunting 24/7 but lately I’ve been giving myself a break on weekends since no one will be processing applications or booking interviews on a Saturday anyway.

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?: Around noon today.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?: Apparently not. I’ve been a wreck all month so far and nothing has worked. Before September, I certainly thought animals or certain humans worked as cures for me.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?: I don’t feel that way about them. I think my friends care for me a whole lot, which I appreciate. I’ve had friends come to my DMs quite a few times in the last few days with messages of support since I’ve been a little vocal about how sad I’ve been feeling these days, so I for sure don’t feel invisible. Making me feel present is the best gift anyone could give me.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?: Last week when Gab came over.

Who was the last person that apologised to you?: Myself.

What were they apologising for?: Haven’t been looking out for myself recently.

Do you think they meant it?: I guess not, because I still haven’t stopped being destructive towards myself.

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?: I have them as my friends so they see everything. But I’m 22, so while they can complain about some of my posts (and it’s usually the political ones lol), they can’t tell me to take anything down anymore the same way they were able to do so when I was younger.

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.: She’s very warm, understanding, generous, and immeasurably protective of the people she loves.

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?: I have a plush dog pencilcase that I use for my pens and pencils (given by my sister) and a pink pencilcase with a floral design that holds my highlighters (given by Jane).

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: Some girl named Abby whose surname begins with D. She was someone from my high school and we mutually know each other, but we’re not friends and we’ve never even talked.

How did you meet him/her?: I’ve never talked to her but I’ve known of her since grade school I guess? since she’s my sister’s batchmate.

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?: No.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?: It would just be my girlfriend too so there wouldn’t be any problems, except that I’d probably break down crying upon seeing her again because I’ve barely pulled myself together over the last week and have had to go through it alone.

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?: These days I’m definitely doubting my capabilities and achievements and all the shit I’ve put on my resumé and portfolio, and now I’m scared if any company will even give me a chance. I’m honestly holding a little bit of resentment for every employed person right now because I have seen absolutely no one talk about how brutal this whole process/waiting game is, lol. This is so SHITTY, is it just difficult for me or what???? I’m so baffled.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?: I’ve dealt with myself, but that’s it.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?: Dark brown.

What is a word or phrase that you say often?: I like saying “I guess” because it makes me sound unsure about most things and thus makes me not 100% accountable if things go wrong hah. I do have another answer that’s more in line with the angst and depression I’ve been going through recently, and it’s that I’ve repeating BoJack Horseman’s ‘piece of shit’ monologue to himself, but this time saying it to myself.

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.: Sparks by Coldplay; anything by Mitski; and anything by St. Vincent.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?: We have...a lot. We still have the chocolate cake from Nina’s birthday and we recently received an entire pack of various fun-size chocolate bars like Twix, Three Musketeers, etc. from my aunt. We also have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I normally would finish up in a day, but I’ve been saving it for every future job rejection I receive.

Who is the most intelligent person you know?: Chesca.

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?: Yes. I’m protective of my sister but I don’t show it lol. We are not showy in this family.

Who was the last person you insulted?: Idk probably a politician on social media.

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?: I have not gone out of my room all day...I did not miss this sensation. It’s been a while since I’ve locked myself up for this long.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?: There’s a house behind ours that loudly plays 80s and 90s power ballads and love songs and it gets insanely irritating and makes the neighborhood feel cheap, but I keep my feelings to myself and I’ve never actually confronted them about it and asked them to stop or decrease their speaker’s volume.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?: Like 30 minutes ago. I’m not very talkative these days and it was actually just the second time today that I initiated a bried conversation. I feel bad for her, and I can’t wait to get better so I can start treating her right again.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?: I don’t usually tell this to people.

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: “We know better so we’d both better go.”

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?: Lots. She’s my girlfriend lol.

Do you have any plans for tonight?: I don’t know. If I feel any better, I’d practice and review for my upcoming interview this Tuesday, but if I’m not okay by then...I don’t know. I’ve stopped planning my days out recently and just go where my legs take me.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: I was at the dining table trying to take a survey, but I quickly lost interest in it.

In the past week, have you slept past midday?: Kind of. Like I mentioned, Gabie’s on the night shift so I’ve been keeping her company, which means I occasionally take naps in the afternoon.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: No. I’m so scared of tomorrows now.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?: I dislike Athenna only because of her attitude and the way she treated Angela during the last few days of their friendship. I don’t have any personal beef with her, at least I don’t think I have. She likes stirring up shit though and I won’t be surprised if she was able to make up a story about me to get our other friends to dislike me.

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: Eh, I’m pretty picky about chocolate bars so I have more brands that I dislike than the ones I do enjoy. I only like Reese’s, Butterfinger, Twix, and Whittaker’s.

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?: Just this girl I went to grade school with named Mitch. Otherwise, April 21 babies are a rare breed apparently.

Name the last song that made you cry.: O by Coldplay.

Who do you miss at this moment?: The me from like two weeks ago lol. How far I’ve fallen.

Where is that person?: Stuck in August, I guess.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?: No.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: No.

Is your television on atm?: It’s not, but I have my phone playing GMM videos on YouTube to keep me company.

If it is, what are you watching?: It’s one of their product test videos.

Are you wearing anything blue?: My shirt is blue, actually.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?: Rhett and Link, and that’s pretty much it.

Do you use Twitter?: Sure.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched. They’re pitting brand name cleaning products and natural cleaning products against each other and seeing which one is more effective. I love these videos of theirs, hahaha.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?: No, I feel like I’ve grilled myself enough in this survey.

#survey #surveys

2 notes · View notes

ladyhistorypod · 4 years

Text

Episode 2: Lady Pirates? I’m Hooked

Sources:

Ching Shih

History vs Women: The Defiant Lives That They Don’t Want You To Know

History Erased Ssn 1 Ep 3: Ching Shih the Pirate Queen

Atlas Obscura

Further Reading: Rejected Princesses

Anne Bonny

National Parks Service

Smithsonian Magazine

Crime Museum

The Way of the Pirates

Anne Bonny Pirate

Rare Irish Stuff

Mariners Museum

Gráinne Ní Máille / Grace O’Malley

National Archives (UK)

History Ireland

Women’s Museum of Ireland

Anne Chambers – THE biographer of Grace O’Malley

The Irish Post

Royal Museums Greenwich

Grace O’Malley Whiskey / Gin (drink responsibly!)

Further Reading: Granuaile: The Life and Times of Grace O'Malley c.1530-1603

Click below for the transcript!

Alana: Lexi in the last episode you called me out for wanting to be a Chicago improver as if that's not also your dream. As if that is not also your goal.

Lexi: Oh, it was projection. Yeah it was– it was me projecting onto you.

Alana: Yeah clearly like both of us that's the goal that's what we're doing.

Lexi: I'm mirroring myself off of you. Like that's what's happening here yeah. Psychology.

Alana: I also, like, I don't just want to be a Chicago improver I want to be like– I wanna podcast like the wife of a jaded youtuber because I want to be Katherine Green.

Lexi: Okay that makes sense that that would be the goal for you.

Alana: The best of the Green brothers, Katherine Green.

Lexi: Yeah the best Green brother there is out there so…

Alana: It’s true. I mean, Sarah is great too but like Katherine's the best of the Green brothers Lexi: She's the best. The best there is.

Haley: Is that Hank's wife?

Alana: Katherine is Hank's wife yeah and then Sarah is John's wife.

Haley: Which one has kids? Hank?

Alana: They both do.

Haley: I thought it was only one of them.

Alana: No, Hank has a son. He's almost four now. Hank has a son who's almost four and then John has a son and a daughter. The daughter is six–

Haley: You know way too much of their life.

Alana: –and the son is ten.

Lexi: You’re… You’re a little stan.

Alana: I am a stan. Well because I've been following them since like 2012 like I remember when this child was born.

Lexi: That's true that's kind of how I feel about Rhett and Link. I kind of like know their whole life by proxy like I remember their kids being born but I don't I don't know them.

Haley: See I kind of feel that way with like the Duggar family but it's also that like my friends and I were just obsessed with the Duggars in like 2012.

Alana: No exactly. Also like I met John and Hank. They signed my copy of Paper Towns when I went to VidCon.

Lexi: That makes it real.

Haley: Once you get like an autograph you know that person. Like Kara Cooney with her autographing my like– I think it was the woman's book not the like specific…

Alana: Not the Hatchepsut one?

Haley: Yeah it was the one that was like the women who changed the world or something and then she put like my name in hieroglyphs.

Lexi: Oh my god that’s so cute!

Alana: That’s so cool!

Haley: Yeah I fangirled so hard and then it was I made my mom go cause it was National Geographic doing it for like my small town, so I got two tickets, we were in the front row, I was taking notes, my mom called me a nerd. But afterwards and granted this was like right after I graduated so I was coming off the high of having an archaeology degree AKA really scared I wouldn’t find a job and dealing with my family.

Alana: What an interesting way to describe a high.

Lexi: Well I mean, I don't know if you’d get it unless you’ve felt it but we've all felt it. So, maybe dear listeners will be like I graduated college knowing I'd get a job and I'm not an archaeologist. (laughing)

Haley: No like I had grad school but still like there is this feeling that (laughing) I did a really, really poor choice. Like in the line it was all kids and then me fangirling and all these kids were like fangirling for the fact that this is like an Egyptologist not Kara Cooney as like the woman she is. (laughing)

Lexi: And I mean archaeologists are just nerds with Egypt books who didn’t grow up.

Haley: Exactly.

Alana: That’s true.

Haley: And she was just talking to me and she's like “oh like you seem to know about this” like I guess like I gave that impression it was like “yeah I actually just graduated from GW with an archaeology degree” and she– oh my god this is like, I've never felt– this was the peak of my life besides elementary school this was my peak she goes “Hey everyone we have an actual archaeologist here”

Alana: Oh my god!

Lexi: Oh my god!

Alana: Oh my god!

Speaker 1: And like I was at the somewhat back of the line and all these kids who are saying that like they love Indiana Jones they want to be archaeologists and she's like “we have another real archaeologist she just finished her degree” and I turned to my mom, winked, and said “can you tell that louder so she can hear? She had to pay for the degree.

(Alana laughing)

Haley: Also like that led into Kara Cooney just being like, because so many people were asking her why how or how she became an Egyptologist and her first response she was like “I was privileged like I had the privilege to get a great education.”

Lexi: That is such a good answer.

Alana: That’s such a good answer.

Lexi: I'm gonna steal that.

Alana: That’s amazing.

Lexi: I’m gonna plagiarize that answer.

Haley: I already have. I like, I know I very much know. You know even like with history and doing this podcast we can easily be doing some other like paying job but like we're taking the three hours to do this we have that privilege to do it. I love it. I'm gonna ride that train cuz I know once I graduate in December it’s not gonna be there.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good the bad and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. I am virtually here with Lexi. Lexi, do you remember the last time you dined in at a restaurant?

Lexi: Oh goodness. With you, I think?

Alana: Yeah

Lexi: Six months ago?

Alana: It was March 9th 2020 and it was all three of us at Tonic.

Lexi: That’s right!

Alana: That third person is also in this Zoom meeting, of course, Haley is here too. Haley do you remember what you ordered at that meal?

Haley: We definitely split some tots cuz I made you, and then I got the like zazzy mac and cheese. It had some bread crumbs that's all I remember.

Alana: It did have some bread crumbs. I don't remember what I ordered. I do remember that I had two margaritas and they were expensive because I forgot to ask for bottom shelf tequila.

(Lexi laughing)

Haley: It was great because I like– I was the first person to look at the receipt and I said oh no no no. Cuz it was like Patron put as two separate shots so she had to pay for the margarita mix and the tequila separately.

Alana: And I'm Alana and I've forgotten how to spell my own name on multiple occasions.

Haley: I am terrified of birds, it's not a good thing.

Lexi: So if you lived on a pirate ship…

Haley: I couldn't.

Lexi: Okay. So if you lived on a pirate ship– you couldn’t live on a pirate ship, but if you did the bird would be the worst part?

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: But you know who knows how to take care of birds?

Alana: Who?

Lexi: Pirates. That's probably not true, they probably treated them like– real poopy. But honestly I don't even know if that is the is that myth true?

Haley: I was about to ask that!

Lexi: Do parrots– my pirate did definitely not have a parrot there was no mention of a parrot.

Alana: No mention of a parrot for me either.

Haley: That was. Yeah.

Lexi: Wait what if my whole life is a lie because fun fact about me I have a parrot named Sergeant and a Portuguese water dog named Captain and my whole life is based around the nautical-ness and you can't see but in this room I have these paddles which is like a form of sorority art– long story we won't get into it– and they all have nautical themed paintings of my pets and if parrots and pirates don’t really go together, I'm stressed.

Haley: So okay, I have a theory on like why this is like a theme. Because they traveled all through like the Caribbean islands where those birds were just like flapping around so I think they're like “oh new exotic toys? swell.” So like they saw them and maybe like obviously took some back because like so many pirates just took things from where they like landed–

Lexi: That’s true.

Haley: And just like took over other ships. That's where I think it came from because nowhere in like my research– because I talk about like one, two pirates in mine– and doing like other research with like pirates in general no where was like “there was a parrot named Coconut on the ship.”

(Lexi and Alana laughing)

Lexi: Well they might have like taken them and sold them.

Haley: Yeah that's like.

Lexi: That seems more pirate-y to me.

Haley: Yeah that’s true.

Lexi: In my personal pirate opinion.

Haley: I also used to think Christopher Columbus was a pirate but that's a whole other story.

Lexi: I mean–

Haley: It’s close enough.

Lexi: I mean…

Alana: I mean…

Lexi: I mean…

Haley: Maybe like small Haley was on to something but I definitely remember thinking like explorers were pirates at some point. Like a wire was crossed in my education.

Alana: I think small Haley was onto something. Maybe that crossed wire put you onto something.

Haley: There's so many moments of like me remembering my childhood where I came up with something that was like inherently wrong but like now looking back on it I was like nah I was fucking genius.

(Alana laughing)

Haley: I knew my stuff.

Lexi: Arrrre ya ready ladies?

Haley: Yes.

Lexi: Oh, the answer–

Alana: I wasn’t allowed to watch Spongebob as a kid and that’s a personality trait.

Lexi: The answer was “aye aye, captain” and neither of you got it. Let’s try again.

Alana: I wasn’t allowed to watch Spongebob as a kid!

Lexi: Let’s just try it one more time. Arrrrre ya ready ladies?

Haley: (laughing) Aye aye captain!

Alana: I don’t know

Lexi: Okay, well anyway… I will be talking about Ching Shih, whose name I'm trying very hard to say correctly but I may be messing up. I actually called upon my former roommate who is my lifelong friend who– she is Chinese so I asked her “how do you say this” and she sent me a recording of how it’s said but it was one of those recordings you can only listen to one time and then it goes away forever. So my best interpretation is [Chung Shih]. But it's actually spelled C. H. I. N. G. which–

Alana: I was gonna say–

Lexi: shows you how complicated Chinese language is. But technically the pronunciation I got from a person who speaks Cantonese is [Chung She] so… do with that what you will. I do speak Korean which is completely unrelated and in no way useful in this situation. Cantonese is not in my wheelhouse… no I don't speak Asian. Thank you. Okay so–

(Alana laughing)

Lexi: I actually picked her because when I asked my brother to… my brother one of his, like, side dreams is to become a filmmaker but he doesn't really want to do it because someone in the family has to make money with their career choice. So when I ask him like what historical story he would make into a movie if you had like a big budget news a famous director he said he would make a biopic about Ching Shih because by virtue of being a woman and a pirate her story is both empowering and naturally full of a diverse cast of characters so you wouldn't have to force diversity into the story. It's a historical story that has a really diverse cast so I thought that was really insightful of him so he just got really really interested in Ching Shih and also another preface: getting information on Ching Shih is pretty difficult and a lot of the information we have about our life comes from speculation and oral history because she was a criminal so it's not like people really recorded a lot of the things she did and she was a woman so it's not like China at the time she was alive people really cared what women were doing, unfortunately. So I will do my best to rely on like recorded oral traditions and some primary text sources, not like speculation in this description but inherently by virtue of her story there is a little stuff that's like open to interpretation up in the air. Do with that what you will check out she was basically a queen of pirates, and records of Ching Shih's birth and childhood do not exist. All we know is that directly before she became a pirate she was working at a Cantonese brothel in southeastern China and in 1801 her life changed forever when she married a man named [Chung Yi] who was the commander of a group of pirates called the Red Flag Fleet. This is like the most notorious group of pirates in China at the time, and the legend says that he sought Ching Shih as a bride because of her cunning nature and her skills wielding power over like wealthy, powerful men, which she had learned while working as a prostitute in a brothel which I think is a pretty interesting... interesting way of looking at that job. I think a lot of times people look down on that job but her husband wanted her because of the skills she obtained in that job. And after marrying a pirate overlord, Ching Shih realizes that a pirate's life was for her (Lexi making rimshot noise). So she's starting to–

Alana: I liked that joke. That was- amazing.

Lexi: Thank you, thank you, pause for laughter.

(All laughing)

Lexi: Thank you. I'll be here... all day because I'm in my house and we're stuck at home. So, yeah, she started to get involved in the family business, she really liked the pirating. And maritime trade was, like, super popular at the time. People were calling it like that the Maritime Silk Road, so it was a very big time for maritime trade in this early 1800s in East Asia. And, so it was really common for pirate families to span generations, so, like, a grandfather, father, and son or like you know a mother and son would have many pirates that they rule over together. But she was the biggest pirate family. Her family was the biggest pirate family. And with her help, her husband's pirate empire got like really huge, with some accounts suggesting that they commanded upwards of eighty thousand pirates though some sources do differ on this exact number I've seen as low as forty thousand as high as a hundred thousand but eighty thousand–

Alana (audibly sarcastic): Forty thousand that so few. That’s not really impressive.

Lexi: I mean, would you like a comparison to stick to really stick it home?

Alana: Yeah sure.

Lexi: The notorious pirate you may have heard of, Blackbeard? We’ve heard of Blackbeard? Haley: Definitely like twenty.

Lexi: Three hundred. So just like for scale, for comparison… Ching Shih had a lot of pirates. And in 1807 her husband suddenly and unexpectedly died. One written record suggests that he was murdered, another one says that he had an STD. So we're not totally sure which one but he died and he had no blood heir, the two of them had not had a child yet. But he did have an adoptive son who was also his lover, which at first I was like wait that's really weird but apparently in this era in Chinese history if you wanted to like give power to someone to like take over your family business you would adopt them legally as your child even if they were an adult. So he had this male lover he wanted to give the business to so he adopted the male lover as a son. But basically everyone's assuming that this guy, this adopted son, is going to take over the family business and he will become the the pirate emperor, if you will. But at this point Ching Shih is like not ready to give up her power. She is in control, she's in charge, she wants to stay in charge of the pirates so she decides to take up her favorite old method of getting what she wants: seduction. And she starts hooking up with her husband’s son-lover and then marries him. So, through her skills of manipulation and seduction, she maintains her position as a leader of this massive pirate brigade. And oral tradition suggests that many nations’ navies fell victim to her pirate fleet, including the Portuguese, British, and Chinese navies. All of them lost naval ships to Ching Shih. The Chinese government realize that Ching Shih was a big threat, that she was so powerful there was no way they would ever defeat her fleet by force. So they decided to reach an agreement with her, almost like a treaty, but not a treaty since it wasn't between two nations it was with a criminal. So they offered her immunity or like the ability to not get charged or punished if she agreed to stop pirating, but she was not gonna go down without a fight. So she accepted only if the Chinese government would allow her to keep all of the loot that she'd already acquired. So she's agreed to stop pirating, but not to give back anything that she had acquired while pirating. So she ended up this really rich woman who opened a brothel in South China and just chilled for the rest of her life. And the really crazy thing about Ching Shih is her lasting legacy. Even though most people never heard of her she's actually been referenced a lot in pop culture. She was mentioned in two Assassin’s Creed spin-off games and she inspired a character in the Pirates of the Caribbean series Madame [Chung]. They also featured her in Rejected Princesses which is a book about like famous women from history who could be princesses but don't fit the traditional role of what a princess is. So I thought that was really cool, and I would love to see an edgy movie about her life and her history. That's Ching Shih.

Haley: I love that. I feel like I knew her name when I saw you putting it on the spreadsheet, like I– I was like oh I know that from somewhere like I feel like I knew her story.

Alana: I love that I think that's cool.

Haley: Alright, so you know how I did Amelia Earhart last week, we don't know what happened with her death? Same train. Or same boat, if you will.

(Alana and Lexi laughing)

Haley: We just– I'm gonna do Anne Bonny who's like a famous pirate. She's a famous Irish pirate. And I only knew this because when I started dating Robert who's hundred percent Irish I was like oh let me just Google some like famous Irish people think it's like as a joke like slip it into conversation and she came up and I just always, kinda thought about her. I also thought about her but also she comes up as more of a legend type of thing like for some parts of the story there are parts where I was like this doesn't seem real and other parts like this is fact. I also have a great pirate joke if I could tingle your taste buds with it.

Lexi: Go for it.

Haley: What does a dyslexic pirate say?

Alana: Rrraaaa? I don’t know

Lexi: I see what you were trying to do.

Alana: Thank you. What do they say?

Haley: ARRRRG. No, wait... I read it wrong

(Alana & Lexi laughing)

Haley: It’s GRAA. I’m a little dyslexic to begin with and I have some trouble reading and I just f-ed my own joke. This is one of those jokes that you uhh have in your brain. I saw it on a t-shirt when I was like in Florida, years and years back and it’s always and it has always been in my brain for that long. Alright! So let’s get hooked for this golden age of piracy. Uh. She was born and like raised in Ireland and we are going to talk about Ireland a little, but she was more active in the Caribbean.I couldn’t find, Lexi, what you were talking about with your gal about inspiration for some of the pirates in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. She's known as like a pirate well known in the active pirate Caribbean circle but I couldn't find of her influence in like in modern. Maybe I just like wasn't looking in the right places. But she was born like the late 1600s and we're already off to a rocky start with her story because she was born to an attorney William Cormac who had an affair with the family maid, Mary Brennan and because of this whole affair William's wife left him. So like immediately there's just some family struggle Mary gave birth to Anne and it was kind of like a weird situation where William acknowledged and as his daughter but in a secretive sort of sense like Mary and Anne lived removed from the family. William would visit and he became fond of her but also didn't want her to be like here’s my daughter and like out in society as his daughter so to avoid any scandal he was like a-ha I'm gonna dress Anne up as a boy and introduce her as like the child of a relative. All my friends in the town and like my attorney friends won't know she's my child and also they’ll think she's a boy. But she's like still a relative of mine. Like that's why we look so similar. So already that's just opening up a whole can of worms of identity and just family issues. Lexi is giving me a face. Yeah no it's a lot. And this is great, for one of the sources, quote “when Anne's true gender” (nervous laughter) and parentage was discovered, William and Mary were like okay we can't be in Ireland anymore like let's peace and I believe they're in like the town of County Cork. Robert informed me is not where he's from, he's from Limerick and got real mad that I confused the two.

(Alana laughing)

Haley: But we peaced from Ireland, and now our story is going to Charleston, South Carolina or what is now Charleston, South Carolina. It was like known as the Carolinas area. And Mary died somewhat soon after and 1711. Anne was going through her angsty teen years. Instead of listening to that good emo music, she turned into quote “a fierce and courageous temper.”

Alana: Me too.

Haley: But like, hold up, because I don’t think you like, murdered people. Like she–

Alana: That’s true. I was gonna be like “you don’t know that” but also I shouldn’t implicate myself for murder on a podcast. I did not kill anybody.

Haley: No no no. She reportedly murdered with the many articles and sources called a servant girl with a case knife which I'm not a hundred percent sure what a case knife is. I tried googling it but all the knives looked different to me. And beating - this is kind of like honestly this part I'm not I don't have so much problems with - beating half to death a dude who tried to rape her. Like that was self defense like I don't know why that being slipped in.

Alana: Yeah, good. Amazing.

Haley: I guess she got that power of “cool I can do some damage I can defend myself” because she later turned into a pirate. But we're not there yet. We’re at the part where William is just not a fan of how his daughter's acting. It was more not out of sense of protecting her, but more protecting his reputation because along with this fierce and courageous temper there were rumors of her sleeping around with the fishermen and like the other quote unquote drunks in the different bars and taverns that they had that you just go to. He said it was like bad for business. And he's not an attorney anymore; he owns a plantation. I didn't find out like what the plantation was where it was blah blah bla. But that's not important, we're here for Anne. Anne married a small time pirate which honestly is like a fancy name for poor sailor in this area, named James Bonny. Honestly I couldn't figure out whether he was a pirate already or like a small time pirate or a sailor because like from all the sources I read that mentioned him like he's real small potatoes in her life story. He was on a boat, loved the fish, maybe had a pirate friend, a bird, a parrot. But he's definitely the source of her leading into the piracy gang. Her father disapproved of James immediately and basically disowned her in the sense of like kicking her out of the house and was like, no if you’re going to live like this, then I’m not helping you, trying to instil that fatherly sense. And this is another great quote. From the National Park Service so the literal sentence after this whole kicking out situation - “Anne may have burned her father’s plantation in retaliation (she was known for her temper.)”

(Alana giggling)

Haley: I tried, this is where I tried to like Google the plantation and everything. I couldn't find anything concrete of like, this plantation and this burning, but like she could’ve burned down her father’s plantation.

Alana: Maybe that’s why you can't find anything about it, because it burned down.

Haley: Honestly, good point. So sometime between 1714 and 1718 Anne and James moved around like the Bahamas area and at this maybe it's still called this but at the time it was known as like the Republic of Pirates, so it's like the collection of the Bahama islands and you just sail around it. And it was like this sanctuary for English pirates so it's kind of under English law but really it's small defenseless islands with more pirate ships they couldn’t take over. And they kind of like lived– like I couldn't find out like what I think it was like Nassau but that's like the modern name for the Bahama island. But I couldn't find out like exactly where they landed or if they just landed a cluster of islands. They kind of just like lived in that area. James did whatever James did. But Anne hung out at the local taverns. I want to be a regular at a bar one day. And that's where she met John “Calico Jack” Rackham and the fun nickname of Calico Jack was from the colorful pants he wore. He was the captain of a ship or boat called “Revenge” and every time I saw the name “Revenge” it was all in caps like bolded, just like you gotta know this boat’s named “Revenge.” Anne realized that she wanted to be with Calico Jack and not James but James refused to get a divorce. He was like no, we’re married, death do us part, blah blah blah. Anne was just like “nah.” Jumped ship from that marriage.

(Alana laughing)

Haley: And joined Calico Jack as a crew member aboard the “Revenge.” And over the next years, they were active in and around like Jamaica doing what pirates do; capturing other vessels, taking their riches or like spoils, collecting all the booty. This vessel or one of these vessels included another female pirate, Mary Read, and she basically infiltrated the pirate ships, infiltrated the ranks of the pirate ships by dressing as a man. I don't know if like– they have like this– I like– I imagined Anne like walking on the ship, bumping into Mary, and being like “No. You're a woman dressed up as a man, I know this” and then Mary being like “whoa, you’re a woman too? No way.” Like having some sort of like face to face, heart to heart because they became like best friends.

Alana: Were they gal pals? Were they best– best friends? Were they roommates? Were they gal pals?

Haley: I don’t know, they were definitely gal pals and they definitely got into some mischief together. I. E. in October of 1720 ish Calico Jack and his crew were captured by a ship called “King's Ship.” It was like under the commissioner like under the government of like Jamaica. So, a pirate hunter, Jonathan Barnett, was kind of like “Ah, you guys are coming with me, you’re pirates, that's a big no no.” So during this capture most of the men were just like hiding at the bottom of the ship in the barracks or something and it was Anne and Mary who are like kicking butt on the top deck. Like many of the sources made a point to stress that like it was Anne and Mary really kicking some butt and everyone else was hiding during this like siege. In accordance with English common law, Anne and Mary were like given a stay of execution because like once they're captured it’s like y'all are going to be hanged. Like we don't have a jail system up and running yet. Execution. Only way to go. But since they were pregnant, or claiming to be pregnant, we don't super know, they were allowed to live until the children were born. If they said that they were pregnant, that’s another few few months to live.

Alana: We love prioritizing a fetus over a living woman.

Haley: Yeah.

Alana: We love that. That’s gonna be a big old slash S from me, kids.

Haley: Yeah. Now we get to the point where there's no official record but I'm– I'm gonna speculate that there's no official record for a lot of this. Like not so scholarly sources nonetheless, oral tradition is still a thing. We’ll listen to it, we'll speak about it. We get to the point where like they're both in prison but Read– uh, Mary Read dies of the fever. So like she doesn't last to like give birth, somehow get out of the get out of it saying there was a fetus inside me I don't know why this fetus isn't growing. And then for Anne, at least, some people say that you just like died in prison and like eventually was like hanged. Others say that she escaped from prison and went on to just be a pirate again, master of disguise, she loved doing what she wanted to do I guess. But the real like meat and potatoes of the legend is that her father paid for her ransom to get back to the Carolinas. And so after she gave birth, she was actually pregnant with Calico Jack’s child. They never mentioned Calico Jack and I'm assuming since he was a dude he was just executed because like he couldn't give birth to some, like, to a child. So he died and she basically was like “I'm gonna move on, I have this child I'm in the Carolinas again” and met another guy named Joseph and they had like ten kids. Raised those ten kids, and she died like a respectable woman at age 88. That's like literally where it leaves off. Went back to the Carolinas, her dad paid ransom. And there's more about like the dad paying ransom than any of the other accounts.

Alana: Wow.

Haley: That's our pirate Anne.

Alana: So, I told some of my internet friends about this theme. I didn't say who we were doing because that's spoilers. But one of them asked if we were gonna talk about the lady pirate who would fight dressed like a man, and then right before she killed people would like, pull out one of her tits. Is that this person?

Haley: I think that's Mary. I think that's Mary. I think that's her buddy.

Alana: I was gonna say– I feel like it was one of them.

Haley: I didn't read any of that for Anne.

Alana: I also, like so the source for that I remember seeing is literally from Tumblr, and I take my Tumblr history lessons with more salt than the Dead Sea.

Lexi: Oh. Oh, yeah that is the only way. that is the only way to take the Tumblr history lessons.

Haley: More salt than– that’s awesome. I want that on a t-shirt.

(Alana laughing)

Haley: Yeah she has her own website Anne Bonny pirate dot com which I like perused at.

Lexi: Which is like a fifty year old man in Florida who learned how to code…

Haley: And that is really where I got like the legend stuff because like National Park Service literally put we don't know what happened to her and I wanted to sprinkle in some mystery.

Lexi: Put a little spice.

Haley: Yeah, but like, Smithsonian Mag did a piece on her, there's like another blog of– called “Rare Irish Stuff.” All the museum stuff, National Park Service, was coming from here is what she did in the early stages of life and here's what she did as a pirate, all the blogs are like this is the legend of her death.

Lexi: Alright, Alana?

Alana: Okay. My turn. I'm so excited for this, I'm so glad that like it wasn't my idea to do this one second, like someone else was like “can we do pirates second” I was like I was going to ask to do pirates second! Okay. So I'm also talking about an Irish pirate but, like, a hundred and fifty years before Anne Bonny. I'm talking about Gráinne Ní Máille [Grawinya ni Mawila] or Grace O’Malley. Shout out to Susan Johnston for that pronunciation help. Love her. Miss her. Doctor Johnston I hope you're listening and I miss you and stay safe. Anyway Gráinne is born circa 1530 ce ish somewhere near… Some sources say Clare Island, some say Achill Island. Either way those are islands in Clew Bay, which is Northwestern Ireland. Her parents Owen and Margaret– or Maeve in Irish– Ní Máille… that one’s cute because we'll see later but like she names her first son and her daughter after them. Gráinne has like a leg up when it comes to pirating, because her family made their living at sea, instead of other families in that area other clans in that area were mostly farming. So already she was on the water. There is a legend– a lot of her stuff is legend– but there is a legend that as a child she wanted to go travel or maybe it was a trading expedition to Spain with her father but her father was like “no no no. Your hair is gonna get tangled in the ropes you can come with us.” So she cut off all of her hair. And this is how she gets the nickname Gráinne Mhaol [woil] and Mhaol means the bald. Like it means short haired or bald. And she's like so cool and so badass that– she does have an older half brother named Donál– but Gráinne inherits her father's land and his title instead of the brother. I am trying to do the Irish names just because I feel like that's more…

Haley: Look you’re so ahead of me. I asked Robert. I should have asked Susan Johnston.

Alana: You should’ve asked Susan Johnston. I– so, lowkey, Lexi you can decide whether or not to keep this in. I wanted to ask Johnston because I wanted to like lowkey find a way to tell her we were doing a podcast without being like “we're doing a podcast!” so I wanted to ask for help so I wasn't just like bragging.

Haley: See I thought, like, living with a person from Ireland, like hundred percent Irish would be helpful.

Alana: I love Susan Johnston. She's worked in Ireland for like years and years and years and she never adopts an Irish accent by accident except when she says the word Ireland. I don't know if you guys have noticed this.

Haley: I notice that. I love her.

Alana: She says Ireland in an Irish accent. It’s the best thing in the world. Anyway. So. She is fifteen or sixteen ish, gets married to a man named Donál O’Flaherty in 1546. They have three children; Owen, Maeve, and it's anglicized to Morrough but it's like Murchadh [Merchai] which sounds like a Hebrew name to me. Seemingly, part of her dowry was three galleys and twenty ships. And the reason that that's probably part of her dowry is based on Irish law she would get them back at a dissolution of the marriage. Which we'll get to why the marriage was dissolved. So the fact that like she was able to keep them after the marriage ended makes it seem like maybe like they came with her into this marriage and so they were part of the dowry. Poor Mr O'Flaherty was hot tempered and feuding with the neighboring clans just for S’s and G’s, shits and grins, just cuz. And in 1564 he is mortally wounded in a territorial skirmish and Gráinne takes back his castle. Another legend says that it was originally known as Cock’s Castle and became later known as Hen's Castle because she took it back, which is fun. So that is why the marriage dissolved, because he died. Three years after he dies– he died in 1564– she gets remarried to someone named Richard Bourke in 1567. He's known as Richard na-Iarrain which means iron, so his nickname is Iron Dick. Multiple of my sources called him that which is fun.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: They just called him like Iron Dick Bourke and I was like okay. I guess this is happening. Supposedly she divorced him in 1568. He came home from something and his clothes and his stuff was packed outside their room and she was like “we're not married anymore!” But Ireland– I don't know if you knew this– remember how last episode I was like “Russia is cold”? Ireland is Catholic. So a divorce was not gonna fly. So it was either like he pissed her off and she was like you're going to sleep on the couch for whatever or like they just kept pretending but they weren't friends or actually in love and they just kept pretending to be married. He died in 1583 of natural causes. Gráinne, who had taken a break from being a pirate and a rebel, which we’ll get to in a sec, goes back to that. Having, like, being a single woman again. So here are some of her pirate-y things. Her ships were not great for open ocean so her piracy or the way that she was being a pirate was short distance raids from her little strongholds in northwest Ireland and they would like levy tolls on passing ships and if they didn't pay… bad things. Bad things would happen. An English lord once referred to her as “The nurse of all rebellions in this province for forty years.” She gave birth to her youngest son and her only child with Iron Dick whose name is Theobold, or Tibbot, or Tiobóid on a ship on the way back from something, and the next day they were attacked by Algerian pirates. The legend around it says that they attacked within an hour. And so she just wrapped up this child and put it down and was like “okay we're gonna go kill these Algerian pirates now.” There's also a legend of her at Howth Castle which is in Dublin. The story goes that she was denied entrance because the family was at dinner. She thought this was super rude so she kidnapped the grandson of the Earl and returns him in exchange for the promise that the family would always have an open chair for her at their dinner table. She's like Irish Elijah. There's an empty seat for her, always. Between husbands, she took a lover Hugh de Lacy. And he– they were like pirating it up together and he was killed by some people they were raiding and so Gráinne got revenge on the castle called Doona Castle. And she gets the nickname– she's got all these nicknames, but this one I think is my favorite. It's Dark Lady of Doona, which I'm a big fan of. I really like that one. She has this like archnemesis– Professor Johnston, Dr Johnston called Elizabeth I Gráinne’s number one enemy, which, kind of, but I think this guy is her number one archenemy. Richard Bingham, who is a Lord in her county.In County Mayo, is the English Lord because England is like encroaching upon Ireland, which is a long running thing throughout history. This Lord, who was being basically like the English governor in Ireland, captured her and almost hung her but Gráinne’s son-in-law, whose name is also Richard Burke, and I'm not sure how that happened. This is a different Richard Burke though because his nickname is Devil’s Hook. But he intervened and saved her from the gallows. And at one point she got home from– she'd been like doing this not quite a cold war because it definitely got hot at some times. She's been doing this like butting heads with Richard Bingham. And her son, Murchadh or Murray or Murrough or whatever, had sided with Bingham, so Gráinne destroyed his land and burned his castle down. Motherly love, man. So we are going to now talk about Gráinne and Elizabeth I who met for the first time in 1593. So Elizabeth is concerned about Ireland. Her father Henry VIII was the first person to call himself King of Ireland, or like in a while, was the first king of England to call himself king of Ireland as well. so there's some like tension between their families. So Ireland is still Catholic, even though famously, at this point, England has not been Catholic. And it's got all these green pastures like they could very easily rise up against her. And they have this relationship with Spain, and Spain and England are not friends. But Gráinne has a problem as well. Her lands have been taken by Richard Bingham, her oldest son Owen was killed, and Tibbot, that one, her youngest son was captured by Bingham. And so Gráinne petitions for an audience to plead her case, and she's granted it. This meeting does not go great. Gráinne refuses to bow– a lot of this is legend– refuses to bow because she's also queen, and so queens shouldn't bow to other queens. supposedly she brought a dagger into their meeting but it was confiscated. The meeting was supposedly conducted in Latin because it was quote “the only language they shared.” I don't think it was the only language they shared because Gráinne petitioned in English, and probably– was like a noble Irish woman– and probably also spoke English, probably spoke some Spanish. I think she spoke both English and Irish perfectly well, but I love the idea that she goes to Elizabeth and is like “we're not going to conduct this in your language” because Elizabeth probably didn't speak that much Irish, she was like “I could do this but I'm gonna put you out. You’re gonna– I am the underdog here, I am asking for help but we're going to do this on my terms.”

Haley: When you say “Irish” are you saying Gaelic or is this like another– I'm thinking of like…

Alana: Irish Gaelic.

Haley: Okay I'm thinking of Johnston's Celts class where she had the whole… Irish…

Alana: Yeah. This is Irish specific. Irish Gaelic.

Haley: Okay cool.

Alana: So supposedly at one point Gráinne sneezed, and one of Elizabeth's ladies in waiting gave her a handkerchief and so Gráinne blew her nose and then she threw the handkerchief in the fire, to a scandalized response. People were like “you should– this is a very expensive and beautiful gift and you should have kept it.” And Gráinne says “no. In Ireland that's a dirty frigging rag, and we should dispose of it.” So, like, that's another one of these things that I'm like– I don't, I really don't, like I think it's rude to like, call out other cultures on being gross but like… She just called your culture gross like what a badass. So they came to this agreement that Gráinne would stop openly rebelling against the Crown in exchange for the release of her son the return of her lands and Richard Bingham would be removed from his seat of power. Took too long. In Gráinne’s opinion, took too long. Her son was released, but the rest of it took too long so she started back up doing that rebel thing. All of that rebelling against the crown… We love it, we love to see it. And she died of natural causes in 1603 ish, again not really calendars, so she’s approximately seventy three, which is a pretty nice old age considering her lifestyle. I do wanna talk a little bit about Gráinne now. She is an icon of Irish history for standing up to England which really… Something that… So I was in Ireland, I don't know if you knew this about me, but I spent a month in Ireland. And I was there for Fourth of July. I said like the one Irish guy who was on the deck with us, Paul– shout out Paul– I said you know the main message of the Fourth of July is “England get fucked” and I feel like the Irish could get behind that. So that's why Gráinne is really like she's everywhere… to the point that there is a Grace O'Malley whiskey and gin company that will ship in– anywhere in the US. I do think they are Ireland based but they will ship in the US. Each bottle is forty dollars and you have free shipping on two bottles. This is– they're not sponsoring me. I'm telling you two this in case you wanna get me a gift, or if someone who's listening wants to DM me, and get me a gift, I would be willing to try it. I looked at my liquor store and they did not have it but I did look at my liquor store.

Haley: I think I've had it before. It's good gin if I'm thinking of the label correctly. It’s good

Alana: I can send you a picture of it.

Haley: I love gin. Gin’s like my drink of choice.

Alana: The tagline is like “Believe in Grace” and I'm like “cool!” Love that. Love to see it. Anyway. So I'm really– I was really excited about this one. I think she's a really cool person, a lot of fun.

Lexi: You know what I think is interesting? All of our ladies, if legend holds correctly, like if the popular legend holds correctly, did not die in their crazy rebellious lifestyles they just died as old ladies living their life.

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: So you know people always talk about taking risks and stuff, why not do it? Because you’ll probably just die an old lady anyway.

Alana: You will probably die an old lady anyway. That's true. I love this episode. this was so much fun. I love this podcast.

Lexi: Alright, you ready for an outro

Alana: Yeah.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra, you can find her on Instagram and Twitter at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us. Next time on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week, on Lady History we're gonna be talking about women of legend. Are they real? Are they not? What's up with their stories? We don't know, you don’t know, but we’ll all find out together.

Haley: Kara Cooney I love you.

Alana: Some quick corrections to last week’s episode: Ginger Rogers was Fred Astaire’s dance partner, not Grace Kelley. Also, my mom was the one who was almost eight when they were stopped at the airport in Israel. My uncle was five.

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william-desmond · 4 years

Text

The Answer (1639 words) by hawk_hacks Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Magical Twins, Original Work Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Adalia Abelard, Lilyana Abelard (mentioned), Varis Bazelle (mentioned), The other Guardians are also here Series: Part 2 of Dark Fire AU Summary: With Lilyana gone, all Adalia is left with is the book that the other held so close. Maybe now the Queen will finally get the answers she’s been looking for.

TW: Blood Author’s Disclaimer: Again, other than minor grammatical changes here and there this fic is basically a first draft. Meaning it might be a complete mess. Read at your own risk.

Adalia could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Breath coming out heavy as she forced her body to relax, I.. I did it.

Now what?

The question had not been one Adalia had considered before. Yet now it seemed to be consuming her thoughts as she stared at the body in front of her. The body that seemed all too determined to cling to life with rattled breath. The sound made Adalia shiver.

Should I put her out of her misery? The Queen wondered to herself. After a moment her face scrunched up in disgust, No. Let her suffer. It’s what she deserves with all the trouble she caused.

But is it what I want?

“Yes! It is!” Adalia snapped at herself a little louder than she meant to. She tensed, pausing. Once no one came, she relaxed, I need to get out of here.

As the Queen turned to leave she stopped. In the corner of her eye, she saw a book. The book. The one that Lilyana had tried to keep away from her. The one Lilyana died trying to keep away from her.

Why?

Curiously Adalia walked over and picked the thing up. It seemed more like a journal than a book. The cover was blank minus some scratches here and there. It was tempting to open it right then to see what was inside, but Adalia restrained herself.

I need to get back to base . Especially with all this blood.

Adalia had expected to feel some sort of triumph being covered in the blood of her enemy. To get over her aversion of being covered in it like Varis said she would.

She wasn’t there just yet.

A rustle from nearby bushes caused Adalia to jump. Someone’s coming. She darted into the shrubbery in the opposite direction of the sound. Although through the leaves she couldn’t see who it was she heard their voice:

“Rhett! Rhett get over here, someone’s hurt!”

Humans.

“Queen Adalia! You’re- back..”

Adalia could hear the sentence die in Liv’s throat as the other seemed to process all the blood. The others didn’t appear to be in the line to speak up either. She could tell none of them expected her to go through with the plan by the startled look in their eyes. Even Samantha seemed unnerved.

But the deed is done.

“I’ll be in my quarters,” Adalia told them sternly “Do not disturb me.”

She walked off before any of them had the chance to reply.

Once in the privacy of her tent, Adalia tore off the cape that had begun to weigh particularly heavy on her shoulders. She carelessly tossed it aside. Not bothering to hang it up. She walked over to the desk that she had put up and set down Lilyana’s journal. For a moment Adalia simply let it sit there. Begging to be opened and read. What would be in there? Would it just be some basic journal where the other kept note of the things she did every day? Would it hold some deep dark secret? Would it hold the answer to why Lilyana seemed so determined to take her down?

Only one way to find out.

Slowly Adalia opened the journal to the first page.

“I finally got to meet Adalia today. She didn’t seem to recognize me and our conversation ended with her sword at my throat. Not exactly how I wanted things to go but its a start! I think.”

Adalia remembered the interaction very clearly. Somehow Lilyana had snuck her way into her quarters without being seen. She didn’t get far in what she was trying to say before Adalia had her up against a wall threatening to slit her throat. Though most of what the other had said was lost on her, Adalia couldn’t forget the look on Lilyana’s face when she said:

“Wait- you don’t.. recognize me?”

Lilyana had looked at her as if she had burned her favorite possession and then returned the ashes to her. After the realization seemed to hit that Adalia didn’t recognize her, Lilyana apologized profusely and started rambling about how she thought Adalia would know. It didn’t get to last too long before Adalia had thrown her out and told her not to come back.

Thought I would know what?

Only one way to find out.

“I’m still not sure why she didn’t recognize me. Did mom not tell her? Why wouldn’t mom tell her? Did she not get the chance to?”

That made Adalia raise an eyebrow. What does her mom have to do with any of this? Unless..

No.

Adalia found herself laughing at the thought.

That’s ridiculous. It wouldn’t even make any sense for her to-

But what if she is?

The Queen found herself leaning into the journal to read more.

“If she doesn’t know then how am I supposed to tell her? How do I even get her to believe me? I guess I’ll just have to figure it out as I go.”

The entry ended there and another from a day later began. Adalia skipped through the pages. Looking for a date closer to the current one. A particular entry caught her eye.

“I messed up. I messed up and now Adalia wants me dead. I didn’t mean to hurt her. It was an accident. She was waving her sword around at me and I got scared like a little kid. I hurt my sister and”

Sister.

Her sister-

Adalia shook her head, “It has to be a joke. Some kind of sick joke she’s trying to make-” she tried to reason with herself.

But why would she lie in a journal that I probably wasn’t even meant to ever see?

She kept reading.

“and now she wants me dead. She’s not going to believe me now. Especially with Varis constantly in her head. Even if I tell her Varis will just find some way to twist things.”

A shiver rolled down Adalia’s back at the mention of Varis. Although the other wasn’t there it suddenly felt like their eyes were boring into her. She shook her head and brought her attention back to the journal.

“I need to get them away from each other. Its the only chance I have to get Adalia to believe me. But I don’t know how I’m going to do but I have to. I need her to believe me. I need for her to believe we’re sisters. I promised mom I would look out for her I can’t just

Adalia slammed the book shut, causing the table to shake. She shook a deep breath.

It’s just a lie. A very complicated, long game lie that she just kept going in her personal journal that I probably would have never seen if I hadn’t-

It’s not a lie, is it?

Adalia could feel her gut start to twist and an all too familiar feeling started to rise in her throat. Here she was again. Covered in the blood of a family member ready to cry like a child and feeling like she was going to be sick. She screwed her eyes shut.

How disappointing.

“Um, Queen Adalia?” Liv’s voice came from outside the tent “I know you asked not to be disturbed but, I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m fi- ” Adalia tried to say but her voice crackled. Although her back was turned she could hear Liv enter the tent. She didn’t bother facing the other.

“Do you.. want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about I’m fine ”

“But-”

“Get OUT Liv!” Adalia snapped as she turned around. Liv flinched away before her face morphed into something that could only be described as pity. Adalia scowled.

“I don’t think it’s good for you to be alone right now” Liv pointed out gently “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but at least let me stay. Please?”

A moment passed before Adalia let out a sigh, “ Fine. ”

Smiling, Liv walked over and stood next to the Queen. The silence wasn’t particularly comfortable but Adalia found it easier to center herself with someone next to her.

I’m safe.

I’m here.

I have everything under control.

Everything is ok.

Breathe.

“Liv, I need you to do something for me,” Adalia said softly.

The other turned to her curiously, “Yes?”

“I need you to ask Skyle to locate the body of- you know who ” Adalia explained with roughness in her voice, “Before I left her some of those weird human creatures came around and I want to know what they did with her. No matter what Skyle finds I want her to simply come back and report it straight to me, understood?”

Liv nodded, “Of course my Queen.” She paused before taking Adalia's hand in her own, “Remember to be nice to yourself. You’re doing the best you can and what you think is right. That’s more than enough.” With that, she was gone.

In her wake, she left a single gladiolus in Adalia’s hand. The other stared at the fragile flower. It was mostly white with a pinkish center. Part of Adalia was tempted to crush the thing in her hand and turn it to ash, but she refrained. Instead she turned back to the table and carefully placed it down above Lilyana’s journal. Said journal continued to sit there mockingly. Still tempting to be read and looked through.

“Might as well do something while I wait,” Adalia muttered to herself as she opened the journal again. Long having tuned out the cyan blood still on her clothes.

#the magical twins

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