#the more i think about the running up that hill scene the more insane i feel

[fandomfreakstudios]

Caine is a human and I will die on this hill (theory)

due to popular demand (losing the poll) I wanna post my Caine theory in proper depth.

My theory is essentially the idea that Caine is not an AI but is in fact a human trapped in the digital circus just as much as all the other players.

Sounds ridiculous, right?

good.

[LONG post incoming, be warned]

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To start, we need to understand the digital circus and its origins.

a place like the digital circus is very likely to be man-made as a place, a game, a computer program, whatever. This place did not appear out of nowhere. It is accessed through VR or some VR-esque technology, and takes on the appearance of a retro game (evidence given below)

Now, video games (unfortunately) don’t just code themselves, there has to be at the very least one person creating this game. Fortunately enough, we can deduce the name of the company from what is given within the show.

It is very common knowledge at this point that digital circus takes place within a computer in some sort of office building (as is implied by the ending scene in episode 1)

This computer is also seen at another point... namely when Pomni is running through the backrooms-like offices. She once again comes across this computer.

Now this implies that this area is at least SOMEWHAT a reflection of the real world, so analyzing this location isn't inherently pointless. Now one other interesting part of this office area is the logo on the wall, which reads "C & A" which people have unanimously agreed to mean Caine and Abel

The important thing about this is that Caine as a concept is somehow connected to the person who created this game, through the founder choosing to name Caine after the company, or vice versa. Now you could easily argue that the company was named after Caine, or Caine acts as a self insert for the creator, but I am here to argue that maybe Caine IS the creator.

More specifically, Caine is an original creator of the game (not necessarily the sole creator) aka the amazing digital circus, and in testing an incomplete game managed to get himself trapped, as does any other player who chooses to attempt to play.

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Looking back at episode 1 there is something interesting for us to think about. Caine attempting to create an exit door, but being unable to figure out what to put on the other side.

Now this could very easily be interpreted as Caine being unable, as an AI who's only knowledge is of what's within the game, to imagine anything outside of it, and therefore fumbling the task. This is a reasonable interpretation, this was MY first interpretation, and it honestly adds so much horror to the episode on a first watch through.

But in all honesty that still leaves a lot unexplained.

The question still remains why Caine, as a struggling AI, would choose to create something like what he did. From his perspective he has never seen anything as dreary as these office buildings, nor does this space make any semblance of sense as Caine's environments tend to do. It seems less like something a well-polished AI would create, and more like what a human would come up with when trying to create something from a distant memory.

That's something incredibly important to keep in mind going forward. If Caine is in fact human, he would have been trapped in the digital circus for a LONG time, with it becoming increasingly difficult to recall his human memories (something it is confirmed humans trapped in the circus can recall). at the very least, longer then Kinger, who is clearly very mentally effected by his time at the circus.

Caine would likely also be showing some level of insanity or mental instability if he had been trapped with no escape for this long (and yes I do believe that he also cannot leave, and I have some evidence later down the line that will explain this perspective), and he hasn't been seen to do this at all, right? Well, I think he is, but it manifests a little differently then Kinger, or anyone else for that matter. Keep this in mind as we go forward.

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Caine's purpose within the circus is fairly straightforward. He is the ringmaster, he creates daily adventures akin to ttrpg oneshots, and he exists to essentially guide the player through this video game world.

Now in the event that Caine was a human who was pulled into the game, why would he need to fill this role? Even as a dev he should still be playtesting as, well, a player. I believe that at the time of the dev's entrapment, the ringmaster AI had not been programmed into the game.

Y'see the Caine we know is a MAJOR perfectionist. He neeeever likes anyone seeing his unfinished work, kinda odd for an AI within a game to be embarrassed about. Yeah, he's a generative AI that creates locations, but creating something in multiple steps is something an AI cannot do. Furthermore, an AI should not feel "embarrassed" about it's work, AI by virtue is always 100% convinced what it generates is perfect, or else it wouldn't have generated it like that.

Also, if we're working under the assumption that the backrooms-esque offices were just an AI hallucination or bad generation, why would Caine KNOW it's not what his players are looking for? For a dev however, this makes sense.

Caine also has a lot of other actions that, as an AI require a bit if suspension of disbelief, but make tons more sense if he's actually a human, and furthermore a dev.

As mentioned, perfectionism, not wanting people to see incomplete or unpolished areas of the game

Realistic depictions of emotions (frustration, embarrassment, confusion)

Annoyance at Bubble for being a sucky AI (her swearing, interrupting him, inhuman and unrealistic speaking patterns and behaviors)

the need to "Reuse AI" which, if the characters are all AI created by other AI would be unnecessary because AI generating would take Caine no effort. Nor should a generative AI ever run out of ideas.

As mentioned, perfectionism, not wanting people to see incomplete or unpolished areas of the game

Realistic depictions of emotions (frustration, embarrassment, confusion)

Annoyance at Bubble for being a sucky AI (her swearing, interrupting him, inhuman and unrealistic speaking patterns and behaviors)

the need to "Reuse AI" which, if the characters are all AI created by other AI would be unnecessary because AI generating would take Caine no effort. Nor should a generative AI ever run out of ideas.

I wanna highlight that, while this is a joke post, I am enjoying the implication that Caine has a name (something only a human would have)

(top right is a particularly interesting example of him just acting super human and "dropping the act" so to speak. Getting distracted, stuttering, losing track of the conversation, all that. And bottom right is similar as he is nervously fidgeting).

Caine has all the fixings of a human dev, trapped in his now incomplete game. A game that had not had it's "ringmaster" character implemented at this point in development, likely with nothing more then some competed (albeit unpolished) locations for the game.

The idea Caine is actually a dev as opposed to an AI is further supported by Caine's ability to create and alter things from within the game. Creating areas without human prompt, deleting characters, he seems to have a level of autonomy and intelligence that no AI should EVER have.

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Furthermore, the man ACTS human, a weird ass human, but a human nonetheless. He's responsive, emotive, emotional, and he's not nearly as glitchy as the other AI. He never slips up and activates some sort of internal filter like bubble, or insists on weird mannerisms like the moon or the sun, he seems to just KNOW better somehow.

He acts like the more "immersive AI" from ep2 if anything, which he's clearly been around longer than. Someone needed to program that AI, and based on previous patterns is implied to be Caine. Once again, way out of his job description as another AI (plus how would this AI be MORE realistic if it was learning from another, older AI).

Not to mention the fact he's ALWAYS around somewhere, whether he's in his own realm he made, or just chilling around the circus (unlike bubble for example, who comes and goes at Caine's will).

It's clear he does this for his own comfort, but WHY would he be programmed to do that as opposed to only existing when necessary to prioritize memory or something.

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But one would be right to say he's slightly... off. He is a strange one, if he was a human. He's erratic, unpredictable, and often manic at times. This goes back to the point I made with Kinger, where I claimed Caine should also be exhibiting signs of mental illness

Under the assumption that Caine, in the act of playtesting the game, got trapped, a handful of things would happen (the finer details are negotiable, this is just my knee-jerk reaction):

He'd realize what happened and that he can't get out

He likely felt as though he was in his own personal hell, as he was trapped in a scuffed, incomplete skeleton of his own passion project

He likely found some sort of way to alter stuff, a backdoor that only he as the creator knew about, or some sort of privilege in being the first to enter the realm

He got his first or first few players. This was probably alarming to him as there was no ringmaster, no worlds, nothing. All the AI he had created thus far had been poorly made and could not function which such a difficult task. But then he realized... HE could be the ringmaster

This is probably around the time as well that he realized he could not remember his own name. But he remembered what he wanted to call the ringmaster... Caine

He takes on the identity of Caine, acting as ringmaster, polishing the game behind the scenes, and creating daily activities on an "as needed" basis

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Now this is where it gets interesting. I believe, at this point, Caine has taken on the identity of this AI generated ringmaster for so long that he's beginning to lose himself. He's beginning to lose memories of his life, he's becoming more detached from the side of himself that ISN'T Caine, and he's starting to catch himself believing he IS Caine, he IS an AI.... and he's scared

He's completely lost the ability to create any meaningful connections with others, as he needs to keep up the illusion of being an AI. He's lost his humanity, become detached from the way other humans think and feel, and its starting to make him become more AI then human if anything.

(left image does not crop nice, plz click to view the whole thing TvT)

He's probably seen at least a dozen people lose their mind in so many different ways. While he knows he's different then them, TECHNICALLY he's still a player, and can abstract all the same. This is why he seemed to freak the HELL out at the idea of an AI and a human getting mixed up.

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One last bit, and it's a simple one I promise. Caine has been described as the main antagonist outside of the show. This is interesting as up until now Caine hasn't done anything actively malicious (aside from Gummigoo, but he seemed to have solid reasoning for that, just not anything he chose to share with the audience).

[does ANYONE have the "weight of Caine's sins?" tumblr ask I am having no luck finding it again]

At this point, this would be shooting the messenger. He is simply a byproduct of the system that is keeping these folks trapped, right? Caine himself didn't put them there, he just takes care of them.

Unless... Caine was the one who made the AI. Then he would inarguably be the reason everyone else was trapped there. And goose is right, that wouldn't make him an AWFUL person either, but he does still have many sins weighing on his back, and many deaths on his hands. And there's nothing he can do about any of it, because he's just as helpless as they are.

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So yeah, TLDR: Caine was the creator of the circus. In attempting to playtest he got trapped in the game and eventually took the initiative to play the ringmaster within his own game, but he is slowly beginning to lose his mind, as happens to everyone.

Hope you all enjoyed the read! If anyone's still interested at this point I have a few more small bits of evidence (more from outside the show on Goose's socials and whatnot) which I could not fit in the bulk of the theory. I'll reblog with some extra bits so this post is still complete but I don't break the flow of my main ideas.

And if you get this far, thank you so much. I don't typically post long form theories like this but if this gets any sort of traction I definitely will begin too.

[stevie-petey]

okay hello hi, took entire 24 hours to process (it's 1am yet again) and now im here for insights !!!

firstly, i LOVE hopper and bug SOOOOO MUCH DUDE. YOU ATE WITH THEIR SCENES, THE CONCERN, THE CONNECTION, THE HUGGGGGGGG I FUCKING LOVE IT !!!! (can u tell i have daddy issues) and just now that their relationship was getting good, he goes & dies (lol) and will come back in the end of s4 ://///

also really wish to see more of murray x bug too, chaotic duo would love it !

the. casual. fucking. intimacy. between stug omg, it was there before too but it just HITS after they've kissed. lovely.

the seperation goodbye, especially with jon & nance <3

mind flayer is such a cockblock bruh, they're at a hill looking over hawkins and talking like screech later bitch.

reaching the mall, her sitting in steve's lap & SINGING NEVER ENDING STORY HELLO?????? kinda rlly wanted a suzie bug interaction (hoping you pull it off somehow)

the fucking mall scene. holy shit i had goosebumps, m. her running down AFTER KISSING STEVEEEEE and shit dude shit your foreshadowing went HARDDDDDDDD. billy saying he tried to find her?!?!?! still hate him but OMG?!?!?!?!

genuinely the foreshadowing is insane, bug already carries so much guilt but now billy AND hopper ON TOP OF will and maybe barb???? wow m wow i cannot fucking wait for s4 im so excited for EVERYTHING !!!!!! the vecna angst is gonna be CRAAAAAZZZZYYYY AND OH EXCITED ESPECIALLY FOR EDDIE X BUG !!!!! pls be a friendship pls be a friendship pls be a friendship pls be a friendship-

okay ANYWAY back to the chapter, steve and bug's conversation about her luck running out THEN THE LOVE CONFESSION !!!! I WENT FUCKING FERAL I TELL YOU LIKE GENUINELY I WAS SCREECHING IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT. literally could not be more PERFECT.

ik max and bug in s4 will be closer than ever, cannot wait to see that dynamic <3

okay the LOVERS LAKE SCENE ?????????????????? THE MAKING OUT ???????? THE I LOVE YOUS ???????? THE FUCKING BRACELET ???????? i was literally fanning my eyes trying not to cry because it was just so adorable and wholesome and i was MELTING. couldn't be anymore perfect.

the finding out of jon moving :((((

AND the goodbye scene :(((((

with joyce, with WILL !!!! love how she already knows about him and im sure she will be the first person he'll confide in :'))) i love their relationship so much, i will need some will x bug blurbs pls m.

and the goodbye with jon <!3 it was so emotional, alsoooo FOREHEAD TOUCHES ????? (loved it. adorable.) but nancy you're one STRONG soldier, i would NOT have tolerated lmao

anyway got real teary eyed during the end. and one tear dramatically rolled down my cheek as i finished reading but very grateful we have season 4 coming up next BUT THE BONUS CHAPTER BEFORE THAT I WILL BE WAITING EAGERLY FOR THAT !!!! bonus chapters are literally my favourite since it's completely m original and im a big m fan :3

so yes ! we're done with s3 insights, thanks for tuning in and thanks for DELIVERING. i will see you when the bonus drops, bye goodnight love you <3

TRUST if i ever get a chance to foreshadow ,,, im always taking it <333 i looooove foreshadowing its my drug tbh

and i LIVE for ur insights oh my god i giggled so hard reading everything

the main takeaway here im gonna focus on is jon n bug ,,,, because i really do want yall to know that theyre besties BUT (and i say this lightly) theyre obsessed with one another. nancy is also stronger than me, and i think season 4 will really show how lenient shes been with jon n bug. while theyve done well refraining from how they used to be (reminder they would cuddle and kiss each others cheek every day), theyre still realllllly close in a very uncomfortable way and bug will get a taste of her own medicine when nancy does it with steve lmao. yes, theyre childhood best friends, but christ they can be a lot to be near. bless nancy

AND BONUS CHAPTER !!! i have a few ideas where i want it to go, specifically a scene with bug and all the kids for their first day of high school. besides that: its fair game since we have a good few months to cover between seasons 3 and 4

[allpainnogain99]

Time to screech about Sonic Prime S3E1

Alrighty. Having taken a while to screech about the first episode to myself...now I’m gonna screech about it here LOL I’ve got a LOT I could say about it, soooo here goes. Enjoy my random musings and mostly just me reiterating what happened in the episode lmao

Starting off with Nine. He says that the Grim could have been everything Sonic ever wanted. He and Sonic have the tendency to talk past each other in a way, and they were both inadvertantly using each other. Neither is entirely in the right OR wrong here (which I will absolutely go into more depth about).

Gotta take a second to talk about the fortress Nine creates. I absolutely love the symbolism of it (well, what I’m choosing to take as symbolism, anyhoo). He could very easily have just created a simple lab for himself, like he used to have (and like Tails had), but he didn’t. He created a giant, elaborate fortress. Why? Well, for the obvious reason of “someone might come after me, I need protection”, but I like to think there’s more than that. It’s about power (this will also get brought up again). Nine is more than capable of protecting himself, which is how he has managed to survive for so long on his own. But now? It’s not just about protecting himself. It’s about showing that he can protect himself. It’s a physical manifestation of everything he has had to hold inside for his entire life. All of the mental strength he has, all for the world (or lack thereof, as the case may be) to see. He doesn’t have to hide anymore, and he wants everyone to know.

Then we switch over to the two hedgies, and oh boy is there a lot to talk about here.

It hurts seeing Sonic so lost and confused as to why Nine would have left, “betraying” him in the process. Seeing it from Sonic’s point of view, he doesn’t understand why Nine would want to leave behind what he believed would be the perfect chance to make everything right. Despite being told all the way back in season 1 that Nine wanted to start “our new life” over in the Grim, Sonic failed to see how much the idea of them staying together meant to Nine, as just the two of them. He doesn’t see how much he hurt Nine by not seeing him as his own person. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he was somewhat using Nine as a stand-in for Tails. Do I believe Sonic was being malicious and purposefully stringing Nine along? No. Of course not. That’s not in Sonic’s nature. He was just desperate to have his friends back, and failed to realize how much his words and actions were hurting Nine. Which of course is still wrong and something he needs to realize and understand.

And then there’s Shadow. While many people headcanoned that Shadow would just up and punch Sonic the moment he stepped foot inside the cave, I was pleasantly surprised that he did not. Granted, it was because their lives were literally on the line, but still. Shadow took one moment to say “I toldya so”, and left it at that, prioritizing their escape. He didn’t constantly berate Sonic as they were running, either. The insane amount of character growth that shows just makes me so happy.

And can we just talk about the escape scene? (both parts LOL but in due time). The way they both looked out for each other as they ran, and the fact that Shadow risked falling behind to make sure that Sonic made it to the ground safely??? I just...golly I can’t screech about that enough. (Also this brief frame of Shadow going from being on guard to being annoyed about Sonic’s rough landing is absolutely hilarious and it will live rent-free in my head...forever.)

The ghost scene. Shadow doesn’t berate Sonic for stopping, he’s calm and even tries to reach out to Sonic.

He understands how much it hurts Sonic to see the illusions, a major turnaround from how he acted in season 2 (granted, Shadow had more time to come to terms with the ghosts, seeing as how he had been in and out of Ghost Hill before, but I digress.). He does try to get Sonic to move on, but in the end gives him his chance to grieve and reflect, which Sonic has not had a chance to properly do this entire time. I love how caring Shadow is in this moment. (Also SEGA LET SHADOW SAY “OUR FRIENDS” YOU COWARDS! ROUGE IS SHADOW’S FRIEND, DAMNIT).

And Sonic. How he had gone from hopeful in season 2 that he could save them because he had all the shards, to now being emotionally scarred by the idea of not being able to fix it if they can’t get the shards back from Nine...and watching literal manifestations of specters of your friends being drawn into oblivion...damn it hurts. But I’m glad he was able to snap out of it enough to follow Shadow out.

Escape pt 2: Hedgie Boogaloo. These two are so in sync, they barely have to exchange any words at all, they know exactly what the other is going to be doing, and I love it. I mean, look at this.

Shadow reaching out his hand and Sonic instinctually grabbing it to pull each other forward? Hell yeah!!! And here, all it takes is one glance and they both had the same exact plan. I cannot get over how much I love seeing Sonic and Shadow work together like this.

Nine making his own Metal Sonic. This means soooo much. Nine feels like Sonic betrayed him, but he can’t bring himself to entirely give up the idea of having Sonic by his side. The solution? Create a robotic version, of course. But also, the tiny bit of malicious tone when Nine says “Hello...friend” just gave me the shivers, I love it.

“If there’s anything knowing you has taught me, it’s that there’s always another way”. This line made me screech out loud, I love it so much. Shadow being willing to admit that Sonic not only taught him something, but that Sonic taught him to think outside the box, that things could have more than one solution, that there’s no such thing as giving up. I was grinning like an idiot at this, because yay character development!!!

(ALSO fduoghdfoighdf my grumpy baby being annoyed I can’t oh my golly look how adorable gahhhhh)

ALSO THEY BOTH GET TO ENTER ANOTHER SHATTERSPACE TOGETHER WOOOHOOO!!!!

It was all about power (remember that earlier? XD). In a way, Shadow knows what Nine is feeling. Feeling like the entire world has betrayed you, and having the chance to get back at them? Sound familiar? Granted they went about it two different ways (Shadow trying to destroy everything vs Nine trying to literally create a new world, to an extent), but they both went off the deep end when offered a chance at an ultimate power. Neither one cared what was happening around them, all that mattered was that they got what they wanted. But of course Shadow won’t admit to seeing himself in Nine’s actions, instead opting to just be like “OK yeah this kid is a menace, gotta destroy him”. Do I wish Shadow would be more willing to give Nine a chance? Absolutely. Is he going to? Probably not, that’s more Sonic’s shtick.

Was Sonic in the wrong for wanting to get his friends back? Nope, not in the slightest. That’s what he wanted all along. He spent so long trying to do that, after all. Was he wrong in seeing Nine as a stand-in for Tails? Absolutely. Again, he may not see it that way, but both his actions and words make it clear that he at the very least had a hard time seeing Nine as his own person. Even now, with the words “this isn’t you, Nine”, shows that Sonic doesn’t truly know Nine, because yes, this is Nine. Has been from the very beginning. A broken, distrustful, lost child who just wants a home and safety, friends or no friends.

As for Nine? Was he wrong for wanting safety and a home? Of course not. Everybody deserves safety and a home. Is he wrong for not caring what happens to New Yoke? Ehh...thin ice there. Wrong for not caring what happens to any Shatterspace? Yeah, there the line is crossed. At least in Ghost Hill there wasn’t any living beings (sure, the ghosts/illusions were there, but keyword there is living), but what about the others? Nine could end up having the lives of entire universes on his hands, even his own if he’s not careful.

Grim Sonic. And the fight against Grim Sonic. Have I ever mentioned how much I love seeing these two work in sync? Just that one little nod, and off they both go. It’s such a treat to see, and I will never stop loving it.

(Also Nine just casually making a robotic copy of Birdie is hilarious to me. Like, “Yeah, I made copies of Sonic’s friends, but also the bird is cool, so I just copied her too ‘cause why not?”)

“At least I can trust them!”. Nine is willing to spend his entire life with just robots for friends, and why? Because he can program them however he wants, to be whoever he wants. Nine is eerily similar to the original Eggman in that regard. He’s done with dealing with people, because people are inferior and betray you. Robots can be reprogrammed if anything goes wrong (Sonic Heroes, anyone?). Part of me is curious to see just how close to Eggman that Nine will end up becoming.

Talking about rebuilding the prism. This whole scene. What takes literally the span of just a few seconds, says so much, without even using a single word. Sure, Nine said he would need one missing thing, but after that? It’s all spoken through body language. Nine looks down to Sonic’s hands and shoes. It’s subtle, but he’s trying to show Sonic what he means.

Of course, Sonic doesn’t figure it out, he doesn’t see where Nine is looking. but you know who does? That’s right. Shadow. His face says it all. He doesn’t even have to say “I know what you’re up to”, it’s entirely unspoken, and I love that.

And Nine? He responds in kind. Look at this.

It’s a challenge. “Oh, you think you have me figured out? Then try to stop me”. Again, no words need to be said. He’s calm, confident, smug even. He thinks he has Sonic and Shadow right where he wants them. He doesn’t see any way that they’ll win, and he, again, wants them to know it.

But he didn’t account for how ready Shadow is for war.

Being entirely willing to take on all the Grim robots in order to keep Sonic safe? Sure, it’s for the good of the entire universe, but also because as much as he doesn’t say it, he cares. I mean, listen to what he says as he’s carrying Sonic away. He doesn’t say “This is to save the universe” or “we’re all dead if he catches you”, he says “this is for your own good”. Someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t say that. He’s getting so much good characterization in just this one episode alone, and I hope it keeps up, even if he ends up being seen in small amounts (I swear if he only appears in the finale I will cry).

Aaaand yeah. That’s the end of the episode. I honestly can’t wait to see what happens when the rest of the season drops. I am soooo not ready for it to end, but I’m excited to see how it ends.

TL;DR I screeched like crazy about how much I love this episode LOL

[kingarthurflourofficial]

july books

starter villain 3.5/5 (i do love! a john scalzi. his books feel so much like coming home even when i'm not hugely intrigued by the premise - he's an author you can trust to have a satisfying if weird ending)

cyber mage DNF (i love saad z hossain's other books - just think his style of writing is a little better suited to his novellas)

kundo wakes up 3.5/5 (see above! i love the world of his novellas a LOT and i think this was my fave yet.)

the parliament 3/5 (great concept! some really good moments! just didn't really click with me and i didn't like the main couple or think they made a good pairing)

hitchhikers guide to the galaxy 3.5/5 (by contrast, much more fun a re-read of this vs castle in the air - i felt a lot more competent at picking up on the nuance and satire vs when i read This at fifteen lol)

running close to the wind 4.5/5 (WHAT A FUN BOOK! only quibble was how much it felt like fanfiction like - in a fun way for sure! just very much like we were reading a couple we already knew the framework for so the author felt comfortable jumping right into the action and i could have used a little more time with worldbuilding)

the duke at hazard 5/5 (AHHHHHHHHHHHH NEW KJC AHHHH AND IT'S A GORGEOUS HOMAGE TO HEYER'S THE FOUNDLING! what a soft and enfolding work it is it's only been a couple weeks since i read it and already i want to be back in that world!)

the house of the red balconies 5/5 (talking of soft and comforting works! this was my introduction to aj demas and please know i immediately stayed up until four am reading three more of her books.)

sword dance 4/5 (loveeee a secret agent using his skills as a dancer to go undercover! love a disabled soldier loving them and seeing them as a whole person and vice versa!)

saffron alley 5/5 (OUGHHHHH now this is a MASTERCLASS in how you do miscommunication. not a plot device not a gimmick but something showing characters' inner lives and struggles and growth!)

strong wine 4/5 (not enough of the Boukos family but otherwise lives up to the promise of the first two)

kill the farmboy DNF (has the AUDACIty to say it's an homage to terry pratchett. i wouldn't let terry pratchett piss within a hundred yards of this book because it would be too good for it.)

soulless 3/5 (doesn't take itself too seriously! if it had been a little more queer i think i would have like it more and as it was the sexy scenes weren't too awful for a straight couple, but then i'm a sucker for a werewolf)

a botanical daughter 2/5 (INFURIATING. how dare it have a gorgeous premise of two insane gay victorian men creating themselves a daughter from taxidermy and mushrooms and fail at the premise so badly i WANTED the daughter to go feral and murder them all)

prospects 3/5 (i'm not trying to be rude and i had a pretty good time reading this but my gods and little fishes there was SO. much. baseball. {shocking in this sports novel about baseball})

evenings and weekends 2/5 (maybe i am just. very much not the target audience for this kind of book but i hateeeeee books were people are just wandering around lying to each other and themselves and generally being dicks. like what's the point! also not helped by my hating london and the hottest days of summer which is arguably the main character here.)

box hill 4.5/5 (okay listen. listen. i know everyone and their aunt has to have perfect morals these days and write the stoplight system into all their fanfiction they write for fun and therefore even moreso for published works but DAMN. i loved this book! it made me feel FERAL like! is it a portrayal of a healthy relationship? absolutely not. sustainable? no way. does it seep into your bones with a kind of aching longing for something formless and deep and heavy? Y E S. it does exactly what it sets out to do and i simultaneously want to force everyone i know to read it and also hug it to myself and snarl when people try lest they read it the wrong way.)

[steveharrington]

What is your secret good stranger things that lives in your head? I love the show but even I feel like they have struggled the last few seasons with what to do with some of the characters

honestly the secret good version is just....the characters caring about each other consistently. i think the reason i was so disappointed with s4 is because when i initially saw the groupings of characters, esp the hawkins group, i was like oh my god we are gonna get SUCH good interactions! like the potential was THERE!! notoriously protective older brother jonathan with his brand new sibling el......robin and max, two girls who most definitely write on their shoes in sharpie and roll their eyes at steve.......max post-billy's death with steve who always acted more like a brother to her.....nancy with dustin and lucas who she used to play DND with when they were younger and who she views as extensions of her family......and while yes there were brief moments between all of these duos/trios, most of them were so insanely bare bones that i feel like no matter which characters you like, you were probably left disappointed. i just want ST to acknowledge that this group of people is bound together forever now, all of them, and the way they act when they're in a group should reflect that. they did a great job with the graveyard/running up that hill scene because lucas (max's boyfriend) dustin (max's friend) and steve (max's kinda sorta older brother figure when shit starts to go downhill) were all equally distressed and worried about her. we need that energy throughout the show!!!

steve and dustin's dynamic was such a resounding success because it's very sweet at its core and it makes sense. s2 steve previously helped out in battling the demogorgon, showed up at the hospital and presumably received an explanation about the UD and its various creatures, and saw dustin henderson there. so when he's accosted by this kid and called upon to contribute his strength and weaponry once again, it makes total sense that steve goes along with it because he's like oh shit this kid was involved in the same mess that i was, we are 2 of only like 10 people who know about the creatures, i gotta help him and make sure he's safe. it's like a brilliant way to show that the older characters are forever going to feel responsible for the younger ones, and that the younger ones are forever going to feel safe around the older ones. THATS WHAT THE SHOW SHOULD ALL BE ABOUT BABY!!! MISMATCHED GROUP OF ADULTS TEENS AND KIDS BOUND FOREVER BY THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF THEIR FIRST UNFORTUNATE MEETING WHO WILL NOW PROTECT AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER UNTIL DEATH!!!!

but the duffers think the most important relationships are romantic so. we're doomed.

[gay-otlc]

Stellarlune Recap

You couldn't get your copy of Stellarlune yet? No worries, my summary will give you all of the relevant details and will definitely not be entirely focused on the gay side characters.

Diversity win! The ogre chemical thing is aromantic!

Gisela is still doing evil things but have you considered; she is very sexy while doing them. Gisela is a milf and I will die on this hill.

Amy! Amy is great. Very glad to see her again.

Obligatory scene where Sophie talks about how she's so much more comfortable when she's not wearing a dress. In a very gender confirming cishet way of course.

Fitz's reaction to Keefe running away was BULLSHIT and I do not accept it as canon. He had to care about his boyfriend- uhh, best friend- leaving and fuck Shannon for not giving us the Keefitz angst we deserved.

The Vacker accent sounds haughty :)

Glimmer is called Little Miss Neverseen now, and I think this means we need a Glimmer/Umber Little Miss Perfect songfic.

Shannon doesn't know how to spell bestie.

Linh and Wylie sibling fight??? Man instead of saying shit like that she should have just hit him with a broom like normal siblings.

Rayni is trans, for no reason other than her name reveal sounded exactly like a coming out scene.

Sophie's description of Rayni is incredibly gay, as expected.

Imagine talking about all the flaws with the matchmaking system and not even acknowledging it's messed up gay elves can't get married? Yeah, Shannon just forgot about queerness ig.

Wylie needs to stop being a council stan >:( please Wylie I know this isn't who you really are-

Pyrokinesis continues to be extremely queer coding- the pyrokinesis ban forces people to deny who they are.

Oralie has trichotillomania! Good to see BFRB rep, less good to see it immediately dismissed as a silly quirk.

Unhinged gardener Fintan! He's so weird and I adore him for it.

Pyrokinesis once again is queer coded. "I have the right to be who I am in the privacy of my own home," okay Fintan. that's gay.

Prentice! No actual thoughts. Head empty. Only Prentice.

Why does it actually sound like Kenric is flirting with Prentice though? He outright asked to be Prentice's partner, I cannot.

I will NOT make a joke about how "keeper and probe" sounds like an innuendo and Kenric called Prentice the most talented keeper while flirting with him. I am NOT. I'm better than that.

I'm extremely normal about the Endal family pre-mind break, I'm not crying, you're crying.

FORK MAN SAID THE TITLE???? You know shit gets real when a character says the title.

For many reasons, Ro deserves to be punched. One of those reasons is invalidating Sophie's trich.

Sophie has alexithymia, it's basically canon. The most honest thing she's ever said is admitting she doesn't know what she's feeling, I am blasting her with my alexithymia laser as we speak.

Also I did enjoy Sophie's "do I have a crush" on Keefe crisis. I honestly found it fascinating from an aromantic perspective.

Sophie is probably on the aro spectrum, by the way. I think allo people usually don't struggle so much with identifying whether or not their feelings are romantic.

Tiergan is "adept at misdirection" because he's closeted. Also he's not that good at misdirection, Sophie is just not very observant.

Sophie's description of Biana is so fucking gay I can't.

Marella reminds Fintan of himself?? Canon?? Time to be insane about their dynamic again.

The sweet and sour chicken monologue >>>

Tiergan has to be Sophie and Fitz's marriage counselor. Rip.

Nobody expects the Cognate Inquisition.

Seriously, why did Shannon call it that. She had to know we would all think of the Spanish Inquisition, right? Or did she... not expect that.

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT LET'S GO (tiertice chapter)

Qualden will never get a happy ending. That sucks ig

Tiergan all but admitted to being in love with Prentice, they were almost cognates, and Sophie had a live slug reaction. 10/10 scene

Tiergan would rather die than hear about the Fitzphie drama. Also he still doesn't understand ship names. Iconic.

Alden... why do you know so much about the rules regarding cognates and dating... did you perhaps want to date your cognate?

Edaline wins all the mom points.

Alden and Quinlin are canonically divorced.

Tiergan canonically wants to marry Prentice.

HOW did Shannon not know what she was doing when she said cognates were like marriage??? How???

Additional training with Marella, Linh, and Maruca you say? That's gay.

Sophie has advised Wylie to fix every problem with the power of homosexuality.

Also, Sophie is trying to break the news to Wylie that his dads are gay for each other.

Dex is bad at picking up when someone is joking or exaggerating. He's neurodivergent your honor.

Keefe... why are you just taking your shirt off for Tam... he wasted NO time with that damn

I want more Keefe and Grady interactions on screen. For. Science.

Chapter 42. I enjoyed it more than I thought. The kiss was... whatever, but their dialogue was very nice and I appreciated the healthy communication. Also the touching foreheads.

Sophie is canonically polyamorous!

"Tiergan held them [Wylie and Prentice] both" I AM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY I AM SCREAMING SOBBING THROWING UP THEY LOVE EACH OTHER THEY ARE A FAMILY ETC ETC

Tiergan: Well no one in this group ever fucking listens to me so I might as well stay with my husband >:(

Prentice needs a hug. Tiergan is giving him a hug. Love wins.

Sokeefitz can still happen. I refuse to give up hope.

IT/ITs Masteress Elysian. Elysian has the gender of all time.

If my summary somehow wasn't enough for you, you can read Stellarlune for free here. I gave you all the information you need to know though.

[spinjitsuburst]

Me, having already sent in two asks but wanting to do more: fuck it we ball fuck it we ball-

3, 7, 15, 23 and 30 for Jay OR Kai please and thank you! I know I've sent in two asking for Jay already 😅

character ask game

YOU’RE GOOD DUDE fuck it we ball fr

Jay OR Kai howsabout both

Kai

3. A song that reminds me of them

This animatic ruined my brain chemistry so Running Up That Hill belongs to Kai now

7. A quote of them that you remember

I REALLY really wish I had some profound awesome Kai moment in response to this but honestly the part in season 11 where he’s like “GUYS you’re both too valuable to risk… it should be someone expendable…….. like Jay” BEFORE LOOKING OVER AND GIVING THE FUNNIEST EXPRESSION MAKES ME LAUGH so I’m going with that

15. Worst storyline they had

Season 11……. His storyline was to lose his powers………….. in his own half of the season…………….. and do basically nothing………………………. Did not enjoy Kai deserves better

23. Future headcanon

I feel like Kai is one of those people who will never retire cuz he hates being dormant so even when he’s like old and shit and people are like Kai please relax he’s like NO I MUST GO TO [insert whatever wack job he has now]

30. The funniest scene they had

Ngl Kai has some really funny scenes but the “foil… I found FOIL… GUYS…… WE HAVE FOOIIIIILLLLLLLL” from Hunted kinda takes the cake

Jay

3. Song that reminds me of them

I’LL DO THIS ONE AGAIN LIKE I SAID I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST SHDKDHDKJ so I don’t know if I’ll ever get around to doing this but I want to make a Post-Seabound Jay animatic to Blah Blah Blah by The Oozes SO SO BADLY i think it’d be so cool

7. Quote of them you remember

GOD that part of Skybound right after Nya and Jay fly off on the dragon and he’s like “When will it be ENOUGH… I can’t keep LOSING PEOPLE” THE VOICE ACTING IS INSANE IT MAKES ME GO CRAZY RAHHH

15. Worst storyline they had

My first instinct is to say Skybound but honestly the Jay Character Development in that season is the only good thing about it, it’s more like the SKYBOUND storyline is the issue and less of Jay’s story if that makes sense

Tbh the thing in Master of the Mountain with the Munce queen trying to romance Jay was like. Kinda the weakest storyline he’s been involved in hskdhdkd MotM is one of my favorite seasons overall it’s incredible but Jay’s involvement was pretty flat (which is fine! It’s Cole’s season not Jay’s lmao)

23. Future Headcanon

So Jay canonically according to his VA like making birdhouses and giving them to the elderly in his spare time, so that just continues as he gets older and he gives more homemade gifts to more people. Homes for the elderly, hospitals, orphanages, etc.

When Jay’s old, people return the favor 🥺

30. Funniest scene they had

GDKSHD THE PART IN HUNTED WHERE JAY’S LOST IT SO HE’S JUST ACTING HIGH AS A KITE LIKE SHKDDHDKDHDJ it’s so funny that entire section makes me laugh

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s11

And thus it begins… the chorus trilogy my beloved… also the title screen on the disk is super fun

S11 is the only disk I wasn’t able to get the blue ray of and my GOD does it show 😅

“They were just stupid enough to trust” so real

The ship crash retcon is so insane no wonder Tucker was so pissed at Church and Carolina

I love that when they have nothing to do the reds and blues revert to two bases in a box canyon and endless bickering fighting

“Glad to hear you’ve still got that virginity on lockdown” yeah I bet you’re glad about that

Honestly I think doing a mostly lowkey season to start out with was a smart move on Miles part. It gave him the space and time to get familiar with the characters and their humor without immediately having to think about the deeper sides of the characters. You can definitely feel the learning curve that’s sort of happening in these early parts of the season.

“Is the place called denial”

Wash trying to comfort Caboose by telling him Church probably misses him too and then it immediately cutting to Church aggressively yelling at Caboose to shut up is one of the funniest bits in the season

“I am going to break you, pvt Tucker.” Quoted line

SARGE WASH IMPERSONATION MY BELOVED

Simmons cyborg acknowledgment

I’m being a petty little sister here but truly can’t comprehend why my brothers don’t like the chorus trilogy- like yeah as I said there’s an obvious learning curve happening here but it’s still genuinely funny… but then again my brothers don’t like the freelancer saga either. They’re kind of dumb.

Like SERIOUSLY ONCE IT GETS INTO THE SWING OF THINGS ITS SO FUNNY

The whole bit of them all calling each other bitch has me cackling

I feel like the moment when they contact Donut on the radio is when Miles finds his footing with writing the characters. It really is just all up hill from here.

FRECKLES

“IT RUNS ON THE POWER OF THE FRIENDSHIP OF OUR LOVE” quoted line

“Watching two dudes excerize is making me feel really weird” yeah I bet it is

“I HAVE GLAMOURS CALVES AND A MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE CAN I PLEASE STOP RUNNING DRILLS”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH GIIIIRRRRRRRL

DONUT!!!!!!

Love when Wash gets all high pitched and screams

“Can I get a hell yeah!” // “hell no!”

LOCUS APPEARANCE

I think they should’ve taken advantage of this being set in the future and make up more bad movies

FELIX THE RAT BASTARD

“All I hear is words that would get me beat up in high school” heavily quoted line

“All I wanna do is stand around and talk to my friend but he’s gone now and all I’ve got is you” G O D they make me FERAL

The Wash Caboose scene!!!! It’s so good!!!!!

I LOVE that Donut is the one to realize CC said 16

FELIX YOU RAT BASTARD

I genuinely love the gang is just like “nah” upon being asked to help Chorus

TUCKER CABOOSE FRIENDSHIP MY BELOVED!!!!!!

BADASS DONUT MOMENT!!!!!!!!

TUCKER MY BELOVED!!!!

Freckles…. Shake

“Man… we’re really all that made it” AGKSGAKXHKAHSKDHKSHS

Trocadero really went the extra mile for the chorus trilogy GOD

The Carolina bit at the end of the credits is so funny like girlie really was like “do you feel threatened by the simulation troopers” and you can HEAR the amusement in her voice

This is such a fun low key season UNTIL ITS NOT anyway I love the chorus trilogy

[thegeminisage]

star trek FIRST CONTACT!!! breakdown aka me attempting to transcribe the poorly typed notes in my phone to a tumblr post which will last longer. overall this movie was absolutely charming and a 10/10 experience, though i would have liked it even better if i liked picard and cared about his borg trauma, and i'm sad that i don't. luckily, i expect at least some of that type of thing will be given to me with more dykehood involved in the form of seven of nine, coming soon to a voyager near me. ANYWAY.

first thrill of this move was when data got to say a bad word, which to be fair he also did in the previous tng movies. so already i was thinking, some rights for tng movies

cheered aloud when worf showed up in the defiant. was absolutely thrilled to recognize the defiant mid-combat before they TOLD us "oh hey that's the defiant." ds9 ref! it is kinda funny that no one on ds9 goes "so hey where were you over the weekend?" and he responds "oh just time traveling to save earth from a borg attack nbd!" like i know it's because of the syndication or whatever, but ds9 is perfect for that type of humor, AND it's nuts that such a huge thing happened and nobody in ds9 likel. cares. sure they got problems but imagine the potential! did he ask for permission to take the ship or did he just steal it to go defend his former captain and riker e deanna situationship? was sisko mad that it got banged up? is he gonna ground worf next weekend? i need to Know.

another fun moment was when i noticed borged up florida first, because my eyes usually hit florida first when i view any sort of country or global map where florida is visible. don't worry about it. anyway, i didn't realize what had happened i thought perhaps future utopian florida was supposed to have all those lines coming out of it and paused to see it better. wrong. the borg did that.

dismayed to see zefram cochrane again after what he did to that poor woman in "metamorphosis." i kept trying to tell myself that maybe this was before he became such a creep and then he was all creepy with deanna. he had some charming moments outside of that though

EMH CAMEO MY BELOVED i was so fucking happy to see him. this iteration got eaten by the borg but STILL i loved that familiar face

i did not like picard's little vest it looks bad and it getting snuck into ds9 makes me mad. also, he needs to STOP interrupting data. him killing that guy begging for help was very fun though. that is his idea of help <3 one of those moments where i was absolutely lamenting the fact that i don't like him. praying seven gets to do anything even half that gnarly 🙏

i decided that this movie was the most fun i've ever had watching tng during the drunk deanna scene. firstly, riker was so ready to have a threesome with her and cochrane. secondly, she is so funny, they should let her do funny stuff more often

speaking of riker, he was very handsome in this movie. idk what he did to his hair but it was extra fluffy. i couldn't stop staring at it

data jacking off the borg

borg queen HOT! no body. just a head. extremely fun. she is the same lady as the oa's mom though which also fills me with rage AND she played that crazy bitch from silent hill who got fucked to death with barbed wire. luckily, she looked so different here most of the connotations were able to be muted in my mind palace

picard navigating the borg in the hallway with lily was also unfortunately very very good. "i know what i'm doing" wow yeah he sure does <3

i loved lily too although i wish she had more to do. her scene near the end comparing picard to captain ahab was so insanely fucking good but she spent most of this movie running away from stuff or screaming at people. she did get to swear though <3

holodeck bad especially the dixon hill mention but it was nice to see neelix's actor - another fun cameo. the machine gun reminded me of the pest control clip

deeply distraught to see barclay but at least it was brief. he was actually much better in voyager

LOVED the spacewalk. i keep forgetting how big the starships really are and the scale was amazing, the outer space scenes were tense. spacing the borg, who can't die, and won't die of atmospheric or oxygen or temperature needs, is a fate worse than death. they just have to float through space as a borg until they...starve? hit a planet and burn up in the atmosphere? anyway, mwah. it was so scary

i think data may have fucked the borg queen. good for him? or sorry that happened. also, human data was so horrifying. my poor little guy. PLEASE treat him really niceys

worf tying off the hole in his suit was badass tbh. ASSIMILATE THIS people need to stop calling him a pussy, especially picard. he is so cool

LOVED the entire launch of cochrane's rocket. the music, the seatbelts - i realize now that star trek beyond was a deliberate callback to this moment. one thing about the aos films is that the more trek you watch the more you will come to understand them

i do love that picard went back for data <3 like...i don't agree with picard/data shippers but at least now i get it

data's "resistance is futile" was said with all the cunt of quinto's "live long and prosper" good for HIMMM

"is that earth? it's so small" "it's about to get a whole lot bigger" prompted in me a genuine human emotion which did perhaps cause me to well up

AND THEN THE VULCANS. i know that's spock's ancestor and i love that he was immediately dtf in this handshake moment. mwah. it was also charming that cochrane at the end was trying unsuccessfully to teach him to dance. i fucking love vulcans

anyway, absolutely charming experience. from my understanding this is the best of the tng movies so i will assume tng has peaked for me here but wow, what a moment <3

[staghunting]

sirius' motorbike, part 2

[link to part 1]

at the time of POA-OOTP i think hagrid really is the defacto owner of the bike, or he was discouraged from giving it back to sirius since the man couldn't really use it while he was under arrest.

similarly, sirius must not have thought about the bike due to the danger everyone was in plus it would've held some heartbreaking memories for sure, and figured it'd be better off with hagrid anyway in the streets

what we do know is that the bike hagrid rides in to rescue harry in DH1 is the same motorbike but modified by arthur weasley

this ride is actually two parts! the motorbike here is the royal enfield 500cc bullet classic– smaller engine than the bonneville, but still a proper british motorbike, also used in the military during WW2. the watsonian sidecar that does look like a bullet with ridges is made by the british company watsonian squires.

now, i think the look of it makes sense in canon. arthur weasley was the one who modded it for hagrid to retrieve harry from privet drive. Turning sirius' motorbike from street-illegal cafe racer to a passenger-friendly sidecar– it is such a father-of-seven thing to do.

while sirius is dead at this point and couldn't give an opinion as to whether he'd approve of the changes to his bike, it is notable to remember that mr. weasley at the time was rebelling against the government. he also kept an illegal muggle vehicle in his house and enchanted it outside of ministry regulations (though he didn't intend for his underage son and his friend to drive it, he swears!)

also, fred & george did get 50% of their genes from him.

aside from smoke, the exhaust pipe also ejected a large net, a solid brick wall, and dragonfire— it would've made the death eater chase a hilarious scene if overlaid with the benny hill theme song i think, but those other enchantments made the bike breakable

(extra-canon, arthur weasley kept the bike, fixed it, and gave it back to harry, who would occasionally lend it out to hagrid. but ohhhhhh if sirius survived or raised harry who knows what sort of mischief they'd get up to).

however, I do have my beef with this, since I also have my own headcanons concerning sirius' motorbike in the books—

—namely, he should've been riding a Vincent Black Shadow.

this was the part in DH right after hedwig dies (RIP beloved) during the chase. the bonneville model has TWO exhaust pipes on both sides, being a v-twin engine.

the royal enfield bullets have one exhaust pipe, so that's fine. however, i wanted to have something more classic that sirius would've bought for himself as a rich kid gearhead, and the VBS is soooooo iconic

this hunter s thompson review was the one that got me into the whole motorbike rabbithole in the process. how vividly he described the vincent black shadow's insane capabilities. the vincent company is no more, but their VBS was just a classic 50s bike.

sirius could not have gotten one made in the same year he was born as they stopped manufacturing in 1955, but the rarity of it would've intrigued his posh sensibilities. plus, the power it holds is capable of is insane even for the seventies— clocking in at almost a 1000cc s, the bike was fast, it was dangerous, it IS trouble on two wheels.

now technically this bike is also a v-twin, but the two exhaust pipes from the engine merge into one long tube– which looks so much cooler.

now, for the bike he gives harry in the story i am definitely not writing anytime soon!

the vincent black lightning would be a really cool parent-child thing to have, as it is the same bike from the same company but modified to be faster. but that is a boring and unimaginative choice for a gift from a rich, newly-escaped, on-the-run godfather. if we're going for the fact that sirius bought harry the newest model of a top-of-the-line sports-regulation broom, then it has to be a sports bike made in the 1990s.

i know what you're thinking. the honda fireblade is soooo similar to a firebolt by name and by performance, harry HAD to have gotten this crazy fast japanese bike from his godfather. and you would be correct! but you would not be right.

look at this. it's beautiful. it's powerful. the front wheel is smaller than the rear wheel, and the design for the engine and the frame made the honda cbr1000rr/cbr900 so light that even the smallest twitch made it crazy fast especially for the twist and turns.

it is a perfect ride for a seeker!! it revolutionized sports bike design at a time when it was still growing to its full potential!! it can still outperform and outlast most sport bikes born in the 21st century!!

even this model pictured here, the one released in 1993 (the previous one above it is the 2020 model) looks amazing, if a bit clunkier looking than its latest model

It is soooo beautiful. however, while the fireblade was a well-performing motorbike, having the speed of a literbike with the weight feel of a 600cc, it did not impress riders with its spec sheets. it sold incredibly well, but also other sportsbike manufacturers at the time took their cue from its design and engineered shit rapidly.

the fireblade is the nimbus 2000.

the actual firebolt would be a ducati 916.

it was designed to be incredibly aerodynamic and is considered by many to be the 'most beautiful' motorbike (subjective!), it had the ducati trademark trellis frame. its design would remain virtually unchanged for years. it is also incredibly fucking high maintenance, prone to overheating, and not generally recommended outside of the racing track for long periods of time, though it didn't stop people from buying it.

it is a bit similar to how the firebolt had a very distinct design, and it is incredibly fast. although an experienced flyer could technically perform better on slower, older brooms than an inexperienced one on the fastest broom, the firebolt was still expensive and iconic.

the 2010s ducati panigale design was heavily influenced by this, similar to how in extra-canon the 90s firebolt would only be surpassed by the firebolt supreme manufactured in 2014.

also, the 916 had a splashing debut in 1994. loud, bold, and bright, for me this bike is a better fit for the harry potter who, at eleven years old, thought nothing of buying a solid gold cauldron the moment he got money. it's incredibly flashy rich kid shit- and they would looove it

but yeah that's mostly what motorbike headcanons i have.

[not-available-for-comment]

Current favorite books, by genre: Horror

Note that these are faves, not Most Pures, Least Problematics, nor Objectively Bests. Proceed accordingly.

The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher

Horror portal fantasy/isekai featuring a recently divorced young woman who is working at her uncle’s tiny and eccentric taxidermy museum as she decides what to do with herself. Several deeply disturbing scenes and ideas that I still think about. One thing I like about T. Kingfisher’s books is that the protagonist usually has friends but rarely has a love interest. Idk if that’s unusual to the genre but I find it refreshing.

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Rose is the godly and submissive daughter to her conservative evangelical parents. She would never waver in her faith or her commitment to godly behavior. But. But her parents are weirdly invested in her dating a boy she only likes as a friend. And she starts seeing a mysterious woman in a staff shirt from the local conversion therapy camp. Even in places where no one could possibly be. She has hazy memories of happiness with a person she no longer knows. And she’s started… vomiting locusts? (Idc if I haven’t finished this one, it’s a favorite anyway.)

Beneath The Rising by Premee Mohamed

Nick Prasad’s best friend Joanna “Johnny” Chambers is brilliant and beautiful and fascinating, a child prodigy who’s saved the world several times over but still finds time in her busy schedule as beloved international genius superstar to spend time with minimum-wage-earning everyman Nick. Until Johnny’s invention of a form of clean energy seems to somehow set the world ever more askew. Then Nick and Johnny end up bound together in a quest through cosmic horror to find the tools they need to set things right. But what set things wrong to begin with? And what are Nick and Johnny? To each other, and to themselves? Honestly not particularly scary (to me at least), but the exploration of Nick and Johnny’s complicated relationship is so well done and perfectly observed that it makes me insane.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

A young woman leaves a stifling home life behind to investigate a haunted house with a small team of amateur investigators. There is definitely something wrong with the house, but the other investigators offer the promise of friendship. I honestly don’t want to say more, because it’s SO subtle and well done. My absolute favorite haunted house story so far, hands down.

Carrie by Stephen King

Look, I know this one is old hat. Literally King’s first published novel iirc. But. But I was absolutely fucking furious at the patriarchy when I read this book, and watching a blood-drenched teen girl blow up a gas station with her mind because the world was cruel and unfair was EXTREMELY cathartic. You can criticize it all you want, but this is my fave.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

The man, the myth, the legend. By which I mean Jonathan Harker, of course. Look, it’s tumblr, I’ve got a Dracula Daily tag, you know the drill. Absolute best cast of characters to get routinely disrespected by adaptations for 12 decades running. And Jonathan’s diary is extremely solidly written gothic horror imho.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

Probably the only vampire novel aside from Dracula that I really, really, really love. Rae, also known by her nickname Sunshine, has an ordinary, everyday life as a baker of famous cinnamon rolls for her stepfather’s coffee shop. Then, she’s kidnapped by vampires. Not because she’s strategically important, powerful, beautiful, or tasty. They just needed a living human to use as a pawn in some kind of internecine power struggle, and she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But, somehow, she’s able to piece together bits of luck and will and memory to survive. She’s not the same afterwards. How could she be? How does she fit into the loving, close-knit world of the coffee shop now that this terrible, tremendous thing has happened to her? And what does she do when her brief disappearance won’t stay neatly folded away? A lot of McKinley’s books explore trauma and recovery in some way, but this one is my personal favorite, from the warm if chaotic world of the coffee shop, to the building of the larger world half destroyed by but fascinated with magic, to the cat and mouse game between Rae, the cops (the book doesn’t quite say ACAB but it does say Cops Have Their Own Agenda Which May Not Be Yours), and the vampires. It deserves to be more popular than it is.

Widdershins by Jordan L. Hawk

Look, this will either be your cup of tea or it won’t. It’s an independently published m/m romance set in a fictional town in Massachusetts that exists at a nexus of cosmic horror. It’s in first person, which I personally dislike for romance novels. But it’s darkly, wryly funny, with an intensely autistic-coded narrator who has focused his entire life on learning dead languages and working at the town’s mildly cursed museum, until a beautiful private detective begins slowly drawing him into the investigation of a trustee’s son’s murder. It’s sudsy, spooky, sexy, vaguely ridiculous, sometimes gross, and compulsively readable. It starts a (completed) series, and while I didn’t care much for the second installment, I’ve started the third and it’s promising so far. The first book also works well as a standalone if you’d rather leave it there.

Stand Still, Stay Silent by Minna Sundberg

This online comic is one of my favorites: 90 years after a plague causes much of the world to be overrun by eldritch monsters, a ragtag group of adventurers ventures into a contamination zone in search of valuable artifacts, new experiences, and possibly more. A really engaging art style, charmingly written characters, really neat monsters, a nice sense of the numinous, and some tantalizing hints about the origins of the plague. To my mild surprise, the artist has apparently become a born again Christian and terminated the series. I have the whole thing in hard copy but have been holding off finishing it because I don’t want it to be over.

———

Well I suppose I’ve put off making dinner for long enough…

[kylermalloy]

Favorite lines so far in Ghosts of Lovers Past, Present, and Future with added commentary of why? 👀♥️

I think I’ve put off answering this long enough!

So. My favorite lines so far belong to a character who…doesn’t have a name and…isn’t really a character. Whoops. She’s the ghostie who torments Rem and convinces her that the only way to save her children is to kill them.

I took inspiration from Hill House’s Poppy Hill for this ghostie. Her long, rambling monologues were just off-kilter enough to give the simultaneous impressions of friendly camaraderie and total insanity. That was the vibe I went for when writing her dialogue. She talks to Rem like they’re old friends reminiscing, but the things she talks about are…less than cheerful. Like, in the one conversation I wrote, this lady references meeting her husband at an insane asylum and killing her first child! Ease up, woman.

I particularly love her anecdote about wax figurines melting. It’s such a creepy image—I don’t remember where I saw it, a movie, a show, whatever, but the image of a wax figurine melting from a human shape down into a shapeless blob is chilling! The way the features and the colors distort and run? Everything slowly collapses? And here is the ghostie, talking about these little dolls like they were real people! Such a shame they melted.

“First was their faces. Their little eyes and mouths blurred and ran in little lines down their bodies, like they were cryin’. Calling for help with a mouth that wasn’t there anymore.

“Their hair was next. Darling yellow locks just dripping down their fronts. Then their arms. They’d always held hands, but their arms shriveled and liquefied into one.

“Last was their legs. Buckled under their weight. They couldn’t have run even if they weren’t made of wax.

“But by the time someone noticed and pulled them away from the scorching heat, they were beyond repair. Faces gone, melted right off. They’d collapsed into each other, and they couldn’t be pulled apart. The more I tried, the worse they became. The wax burned my fingers, came off them in sloughs.

“Eventually, all I could do was wait for them to harden.” Her voice pitches upward. Plaintive and innocent and pained. “And by that time, they were unrecognizable. Merged together so there was no way I could separate them.

“Well, there was one way. I took my paring knife and cut them apart. It pained me so to do it, but it was the only way to untangle the little darlings.”

Then later in the same chapter, the ghostie has Rem primed and ready, stumbling with horror upon what her boys have been doing at night (hint: it’s not safe for work!) and she spews forth this fantastic rambling spiel about how the twins are doomed for hell, and it’s Rem’s job to separate them before they’ve totally lost their innocence.

“They’re descending down, down, into the dark, folded up into each other so tight they won’t ever be forgiven. You have to sever them, sever that bond before it’s unbreakable, start them over in a new life before it’s too late and your darling children are lost to you forever. Wake them up, dear. Wake them up from this nightmare they think is heaven.”

That one almost makes me mad in how good it is, because I put no effort into it. I was brainstorming on a discord server, and the idea popped into my head. I wrote that dialogue in 2.5 seconds and pooped it out in the chat. I could hear the voice saying it as plain as day! Later, when I was actually writing this scene, I crawled back to the server and copy-pasted that chunk straight into the doc. What’s the point in agonizing over lines for days and days (looking at you, final scenes!) if I can just crank stuff like that out while chatting casually about the fic?! And why can’t I do that on command??

So yeah. My favorite lines are in a chapter where neither main character makes more than a cameo appearance!

Here’s the link to the fic, by the way. Looks like we’re gonna make it to 60k words before the end!

[alethiometry]

Rules: list eight shows for your followers to get to know you better.

Tagged by @aeide!

1. black sails. OBVIOUSLY. it's got everything. drama, intrigue, ocean gays, lying little wet rat twinks, anti-colonialist uprisings, caribbean history, grimy period-appropriate costumes, heartbreak, monologues, toby "saturday chillin don't fuckin @ me i'm chillin" schmitz calling himself daddy. everybody slays absolute cunt. it is THEEEE most perfect show ever created.

2. parks and recreation. rewatching p&r is an interesting experience because it was such a product of obama-era liberal america and the optimism just oozes out of every scene. also we don't like crisp ratt anymore. but it's also so genuinely funny and heartfelt and comforting! this show had a massive impact on my sense of humor, as well as i think framed failure in such a positive light: every character failed drastically at something over the course of the show, but through caring for each other were able to pick themselves back up and never let their shortcomings define them. i first watched it at a point in my life where i really needed that, so it has always stuck with me.

3. leverage. my comfort show to turn to when living in a post-capitalist hellscape that continues to reward billionaires for their moral bankruptcy while shitting on everybody else gets too depressing (so… like every day). is it campy and unrealistic? yes. do i care? no. sometimes you need escapism via direct action, heist hijinks, and extreme displays of bisexuality. also aldis hodge is one of the most beautiful human beings on planet earth.

4. supernatural. yeah yeah it's the hehe destiel meme show. but it was also tons of fun to watch every week, the worldbuilding started out fantastic (and then got progressively more and more insane), i think it's really the epitome of "really cool ideas with mostly lackluster execution". the bloody mary episode remains one of my favorite episodes of tv ever, and the fandom drama just keeps giving! i also met some of my dearest friends through the fandom, so maybe the real destiel love memes were the friends we made along the way.

5. twin peaks. the only show that made me so insane i went and got a tattoo of it. impeccable vibes, the experience of watching s3 and then memeing about it on reddit with everyone else who were all equally confused is an experience that will never be replicated.

6. love island uk. listen. fucking listen. i don't want this show to be listed here any more than any of you do, i'm sure. absolute bottom of the barrel brain rot that consumes my life and brings my workday to a grinding halt (thank you timezones) for the 2 months that each season is running. i absolutely have nothing good to say about love island uk other than it's sometimes really funny, usually unintentionally. but iain stirling's voice and those stupid neon pillows/beanbags and atrocious cursive font and catchphrases have wormed their way into my brain and nothing short of a complete lobotomy can remove it.

7. how to get away with murder. this wouldn't even be on here if saff and i didn't go on an insane binge of all six seasons last fall. but since we did… here we are. michaela pratt is an icon and has never done anything wrong ever in her life and i will die on this hill.

8. cunk on earth. this is probably recency bias speaking but oh my god i adore this show. it is exactly my brand of humor and i have so much respect for all the experts and miss diane morgan herself for making it through those interviews without breaking, because i would be fighting for my fucking life. this is the show that i will henceforth be recommending like a madwoman to all my friends.

honorable mentions: american vandal, derry girls, naruto, south park, dexter, elementary, orphan black.

i'm tagging: @winedark @seance @assassiyun @thatsouthernanthem @potsticker1234 @ciaramedba @doomcountry @thychesters <3

[singsweetmelodies]

Who would say stay forever? pierre or charles? 👀

OMG ANON I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ASKED because i have not thought about this further at all. but now i can!!

so this ask is in reference to this notting hill gifset which i reblogged - and listen. i physically cannot consume ANY media without trying to make it into some kind of a piarles fic. and this notting hill gifset is no different... i mean come on. it's only one of my favourite rom-coms ever! of COURSE i'm going to piarlify it.

NOW TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION: who says what? that is to say, who's who?

the easy approach - and indeed the first one that occured to me - is to make charles anna/julia roberts' character. i mean, come on. famous actor charles falls for bookstore owner pierre... it practically writes itself, doesn't it?

and do i see charles as julia roberts? YEAH i do. charles uttering the 'i'm just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her' line is just... YEAH

but at the same time

i like to flip expectations sometimes, so i was also thinking about it the other way around? like, that could also be so fucking wholesome?

charles as the awkward, adorable and hopelessly endearing local bookshop owner who pierre can't help but be charmed by? i see it. pierre as the slightly cynical, jaded and dogged by the press actor (who's a secret romantic and longs for someone to spend the rest of his life with?) i can SO see it.

i think charles is also absolutely the type to fumble and stammer his way awkwardly through meeting the actor he's secretly had a crush on - and with charles' luck, of course he WOULD happen to run into that actor again and spill his orange juice all over pierre's shirt. of course he would.

then i also think pierre is absolutely the type to impulsively kiss someone after they've oh-so-generously leant him a shirt after the aforementioned orange juice incident, like

YUP. tell me you see it, anon. tell me you see it!!

(in my piarles vision, pierre would probably not only kiss charles but also fully push him up against the wall and snog him senseless. because yeah. they're Like That™).

and then all the shenanigans about charles going to pierre's fancy hotel and being mistaken for a reporter - instead of the iconic horse & hound, i would probably have charles pretend to be a reporter for motorsport.com or something similar, LMAO - but i think that scene would be absolutely hysterical and also sooooo fitting for the two of them.

and also. oh my god. ALSO. actor!pierre going to visit charles who -despite living in monaco - is just some normal guy with a normal (if slightly insane and chaotic) family. pierre having dinner with that family and fitting in with them like they've been friends for years. pierre joking with arthur and lorenzo and being gentlemanly with pascale, and thinking that this is the happiest he's felt in years (and hey, if i can sneak in a not-so-subtle "hollywood as an allusion for red bull racing & pierre's time there" thing, then i'll be even happier.)

and then of COURSE the iconic "can i stay a bit longer?" // "stay forever" moment... well. i think it's clear now. pierre, for once uncharacteristically hesitant, asking if he can stay with charles just a bit longer and deny his reality for just a few moments more? and charles, devasatingly earnest and sincere, telling him "stay forever." 🥹

and i'm going to stop myself there, before i accidentally talk about this for five thousand words more and make it a full-on fic plan, but... yeah. YEAH. i think this idea could be soooo so so beautiful, and i love it almost beyond words 💜

[cupofteainme]

Some of my impressions after seeing the trailer.

The focus of the trailer was on Wille's and Simon's feelings, their love, and longing. It reassured me that we're getting a superb season.

No new complicated plots were introduced. It felt like a natural continuation of season 1.

God, Edvin's acting is incredible. I don't mind him suffering if I can enjoy his longing looks. He delivers. I'm blown away.

Simon and Wille still have good communication. Simon told him openly about thinking about him all break but also appreciating space. These kids know how to talk. (That's why it would be weird if Simon dated Marcus behind Wille's back. I don't believe in that.)

Marcus has a cute face. He can be there to make Wille jealous. I just don't want to see him kiss Simon 💀

Sircus running up the hill didn't look romantic to me. 

Malte managed to make me want to see August's storyline. How good is his acting in the trailer? Wow.

Ugh, now I ship August and Sara. There is something about complicated relationships.

What is Felice's storyline? She came back to school with her curly hair. I would have liked to see more of her journey and the culmination point because it feels like such a big step for her, an open declaration that she's her own person.

How is Alex back after the break? 👀

Wille is talking about Simon with other people. This is all I wanted to see. I love his conversation with Nils. Wille needs people who understand his situation.

Malin's scene feels off. A bodyguard would not manhandle the person they're protecting. And they couldn't drag Wille out without the school watching. Isn't discretion a pretty big thing in monarchies?

What kind of threats could Wille be making? He could threaten to expose what August did and how it was covered up. That would hurt their reputation. Let's remember that monarchy as an institution continues to exist even if Wille would be removed from the line of succession.

I think we're gonna enjoy a great experience of collective insanity with season 2.

[demadogs]

Who's the best stranger things actor/actress in your opinion?

oooof this is hard. theres literally never been anyone on this show that i didnt love as an acot.

i think i would say winona but i wanna talk about one of the kids bc we’ve known winonas been amazing for decades now. but god she was so amazing in season one. when hopper was giving will cpr and she was sobbing and telling him that she loves him more than anything in the world??? god i cant even fathom that shes just acting there!!????? how did she do that and then someone yell cut and she just dried her tears and move on like WHAT!!!!!

for the kids i think im gonna say its a tie between sadie and noah. sadie i say for s4 and noah for s2. they both were so good at their more supernatural storylines. my favorite scene of the whole show is running up that hill and im SO glad it was max’s scene. and noah in s2 is fucking insane holy shit im so glad he was casted as will.

also sadie and caleb are so good together. didnt they say that they didnt even rehearse max’s “death” scene?? how the hell???