#the mysterious biped

[the-ephemeral-ethereal]

One of the hardest ideas for humans to accept is that we are not the culmination of anything. There is nothing inevitable about our being here. It is part of our vanity as humans that we tend to think of evolution as a process that, in effect, was programmed to produce us.

from The Human Odyssey by Ian Tattersall 

[sincerely-sofie]

I had a thought about Ark being the one to come out of being formed alongside Cresselia without any feathers and now I'm wheezing at a subsequent joke.

Featherless???? CHECK.

Biped????? NOT FREQUENTLY BUT HE'S GOT A PAIR OF LEGS IN THERE SOMEWHERE. CHECK.

BEHOLD A MAN

[tinfoil-catholic]

[Reblog for a larger sample size, etc etc]

[hummingbird-hunter]

The reason transphobes always ask what is a woman and never what is a man is because people already know what a man is. It's featherless biped. Women, alas, remain a mystery.

[theaceofarrows]

Reasons why I think a TOH Christmas special would have been amazing⬇🎄🦉

The chaos of Luz explaining the holiday and all that it entails

Willow, Gus and Hunter make an elaborate overly complicated plan to capture the mysterious Santa Claus because he "breaks into people's houses while they sleep, Luz! That can't be good!"

Lumity struggling to come up with the perfect gifts for each other, and then on Christmas morning they both say how spending Christmas with each other is already the best gift that they could ask for

All the kids getting together to make/buy Camila a special gift to show how grateful they are for her

Vee baking Christmas cookies non stop, and trying to teach the others how to bake

Decorating the most outlandish Christmas tree in all of Connecticut

Hunter not understanding why everyone keeps calling his "amazing" new sweater ugly

Amity going for the sick goth girl Christmas aesthetic™

Willow growing poinsettias and holly

Camila getting all the kids a personalized stocking

Gus doing all kinds of research on Christmas traditions from all over the world aka Krampus is now on the capture list with Santa Claus

Palisman wearing little Santa and elf hats

SNOWBALL FIGHT❄

Snowman building compaction; some of the snowmen look more like biped demons⛄

Christmas movie marathon. The Nightmare before Christmas is a big hit

Going out to look at Christmas lights

Willow taking all kinds of adorable pictures

Demon Realm worthy renditions of classic Christmas songs; Gus really likes The Alvin And The Chipmunks

A big chaotic trip to the mall for Christmas presents that ends with almost being escorted out by security

Just them all being one big happy found family enjoying something special together

Feel free to add to this!

[thehyperrequiem]

NSR The Creatures of Vinyl City

Just going to show you a recap of my first No Straight Roads AU from my old account. It is called The Creatures of Vinyl City. It is an au where everything is the same, but the scenery changes to a Cryptidcore aesthetic and shout out to @sundove88 for helping out with this one, soooo enjoy!

AU Synposis: “In Vinyl City, Humans and Cryptids used to live together in harmony...until the greedy Tatiana started capturing them for her own gain. Can Mayday and Zuke restore this ancient bond before the fate of Vinyl City changes forever?”

And now, the Characters!

🧡 MayDay 🎸- Human

💚 Zuke 🥁 - Human

🩵 Ellie 🐊 - Mutated Crocodile (They keep her as a pet)

🌌 DJ Subatomic Supernova 🎧- Ursa Major (Constellation Bear)

💕 Sayu 🧜‍♀️- Mermaid (Obvious)

🎵✏️ The Sayu Crew (Tila, Remi, Dodo, Sofa)🏃🎞 - Kappas (Turtle Yokais)

💛 Yinu 🎹- Cervitaur (Deer Centaur) (She has Shapeshifting powers like her Mom)

♥️ Yinu’s Mom 🌹- Manaha (Cannibalistic Deer Monster)

💛 Yinu’s Dad 🎶 - Centaur (He used to be a Regular Centaur, but now he is a Centaur Spirit)

🤍❤️🩵 1010 (Rin, Zimelu, Purl-Hew, Haym, Eloni) 💛💚 - Techno Organic Moth Monsters (They can shapeshift to humans, mini versions of themselves and Beasts)

📺 Neon J. 🎖- Mothman

🤍🩷Eve 🖼- Succubus (A Kind Hearted One)

🔥 Tatianna 🤍- Manticore (It makes more sense)

👓 Kliff 🧡- Satyr (Goat Hybrid)

💚 DK West 🪘- Magic User (he may looked human, but the Tattoos of his are magical!)

🎧 DJ Zam 📻 - Jersey Devil (Biped Goat Monster with fork tail and leathery wings)

⚓️ Captain Torpedo ⛴ - Kraken (A Giant squid Monster)

🦄 Amal - Unitaur (Like a Centaur but a Unicorn)

🍳Aunty - Futakuchi Onna (Woman with a head at the back of her mouth)

👮‍♂️Azma - Minotaur (Half man Half Bull)

📔Barbara 🕶 - Magic User

💜Celine - Harpy

👩‍🍳Chef Sunshine - Phoenix

🩵Daphne and Jan 💞 - Banshee (Daphne) and Aqrabuamelu (Jan)

🪟Dash - Water Elemental

💜Gigi 🕶 - Loch Ness Monster

💖Joey 🎼 - Cyclops

💗Kayane - Fairy

💘Mia 🤍 - Gorgon

🕵️‍♂️Mystery Man 🕶 - Xexeu

👴Retdex - Yeti

🤖 Robot - Robot (Obviously)

👨‍🔧Timmy - Bunnyip

❤️Yiruk - Imp

🎧Zed - Bigfoot

That is all for now! Tune in next time for more Content of The Creatures of Vinyl City

[bigfootbeat]

Bigfoot and Bears

People have been fascinated and perplexed by the myth of Bigfoot for many years. Bigfoot is a mythical, ape-like monster that is rumored to live in North American woodlands. Despite many sightings and multiple claimed interactions, concrete proof remains elusive. People may mistake bears, particularly the American black bear, for Bigfoot, which could explain many of these sightings. Numerous elements, such as bears' physical traits, actions, and the places they live in, support this notion. Bears sometimes resemble Bigfoot's reports, particularly when seen from a distance or in low light. Standing on its hind legs, an adult black bear can reach a height of more than six feet, matching the mythical creature's proportions. Bears can have a very human-like silhouette when they are standing upright. Their shaggy fur, which can resemble a huge, hairy biped akin to eyewitness reports of Bigfoot, emphasizes this likeness even more. People have also observed bears walking short distances on two feet, particularly when they are enquiring or trying to get a better look at their environment. One could easily confuse this activity with the gait of a bipedal hominid.

Bear habitats also overlap quite a bit with places where bigfoot sightings are frequent. North America's hilly regions, dense forests, and large wilderness areas host strong bear populations. These areas are ideal for both bears and alleged Bigfoot encounters because they provide plenty of resources and cover for the animals. The possibility of misidentification increases because hikers, campers, and hunters in these areas may not always be familiar with the local animals. Furthermore, the Bigfoot tale may have its roots in bear behavior. Bears are often elusive and reclusive creatures that would rather stay away from people. This evasiveness may result in short, transient glimpses, leaving much to the imagination. Bears, when threatened or provoked, exhibit aggressive postures or vocalizations, further fueling bigfoot rumors. People may perceive these behaviors as threatening or unearthly. It is impossible to overlook the influence of psychological and cultural elements. Deeply rooted folklore and the power of suggestion can affect how people interpret unclear information. If you hear a rustle in the bushes or see a dark figure in an area where Bigfoot legend is common, you could easily attribute it to the mythological creature instead of a bear. Due to the well-known limitations of human perception, people frequently see what they desire or anticipate to see while under stress or in unclear circumstances.

We now know more about the ecology and behavior of bears because of technological advancements and growing public interest in wildlife. We gain a deeper understanding of these animals' lives through the use of drones, trail cameras, and other monitoring devices, which often capture actions previously considered uncommon or unique. By demonstrating that the claimed creature was, in fact, a bear, these technologies have also refuted several Bigfoot claims. Even though Bigfoot's appeal is still great, it's quite likely that many sightings are just bear misinterpretations. We can dispel the mystery surrounding Bigfoot and foster a deeper respect for the actual wildlife that inhabits our planet by recognizing the parallels between bears and the mythical being they frequently confuse with. More research and unbiased investigation may not only solve the enigma surrounding Bigfoot, but also inspire greater reverence for the animals that inhabit our forests.

[moonys-chaos]

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang)

Since the dawn of man is really not that long As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song A fraction of a second and the elements were made The bipeds stood up straight, the dinosaurs all met their fate They tried to leap but they were late And they all died (they froze their asses off) The oceans and Pangea, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya Set in motion by the same big bang It all started with the big bang

It's expanding ever outward but one day It will pause and start to go the other way Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses) Religion or astronomy (Descartes or Deuteronomy) It all started with the big bang

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology It all started with the big bang It all started with the big bang

So true but also like "?"

[suzannetownsend]

Apes in the Glades: a divisive Florida mystery

OCHOPEE – The drone of cicadas, the flat river of grass and gators lurking by the roadside, only their eyes visible above the black water: this is the Florida Everglades. It is a region that has long been imbued with fascinating history both haunting and beautiful, from being the location of marijuana smuggling routes (or as the locals call it, square grouper) and a hiding spot for killers on the run. But deep in the swamp lurks another source of intrigue: the skunk ape. 

Also known as Florida’s Bigfoot, the hairy biped has been a lifelong pursuit of Ochopee, Florida local David Shealy. He describes the skunk ape as being between six and seven feet tall, covered in hair and incredibly smelly. Since spotting the creature near his home at the northern end of Everglades National Park at age 10, Shealy has made it his life’s work to find this elusive character. He has reported other sightings since then, once in 1998 and most famously in 2001 when he recorded video footage of the creature trudging through the swamp, which is available on YouTube. 

Shealy is the founder of the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters in Ochopee. It’s one of several of Tamiami Trail’s roadside attractions (including the world’s smallest post office) and includes a campground, collection of live pythons and alligators, a gift shop and plans to expand. The building also houses Shealy’s two casts of skunk ape tracks. In 2000 he even applied for a grant from the Collier County Tourism Development Council, which was denied. 

Sightings of skunk apes have been reported since the 1950s and ‘60s. One discrepancy, however, is that the native Seminole and Miccosukee tribes have a legend of the skunk ape in their culture, too. For clarity, the tribes are separate politically but not culturally, according to the Seminole Tribe of Florida. Tara Backhouse, the collections manager at the Seminole Ah-Tah-Thi-Ki Museum said in an email that, “there’s definitely not anything written down, and I don’t believe it’s a real Seminole legend in any way.” Shealy says something different: “That’s not the case at all and I grew up here with the Indians.” Indeed, Shealy's property is not far from the Miccosukee reservation. He recounted a story that Miccosukee tribal member Michael Frank told him about a time during the Seminole Wars. “At that time an Indian scout left the village and went into the Everglades, and he returned with a story that he had seen a group of men that were very large and covered with hair.” Shealy says there are as many as nine skunk apes in the Everglades. According to him they smell because they spend time in alligator holes, and they make a low bassy cooing growl. When he performs the skunk ape call, it sounds a lot like an alligator bellow. Shealy has a response for that, too. “I have big alligators that roar every time the garbage truck comes in so I know gators really good and it's not a gator.” 

So did Shealy make it all up? Some locals think so. The picture that many residents of the nearby Everglades City paint is that Shealy simply wanted to make more money. Some call him a fraud, some call him a scientific researcher. When I met him, though, the first thing I understood about David Shealy is that he is a storyteller. He has many tales of encounters with Florida's bigfoot, some his and some from other people, but all of them captivating. He spoke of a time when he collected a hair sample from one encounter but the next day two unidentified federal agents, “The men in black” as Shealy calls them, who came to his home and confiscated the sample, never to be heard from again. In another story a woman named Mary Billie was chopping down palm fronds for a chickee hut. As she was hacking at the fronds one fell away and she was face to face with the skunk ape. 

Despite the chorus of skunk ape deniers, there are others who support Shealy’s work. Brad Bertelli is the author of The Florida Keys Skunk Ape Files, which is a work of fiction based on real reports of encounters with the cryptid. Included in the book is a real clipping from an 1874 newspaper that reads, “Key West has a ghost covered with hair and about the size of a horse.” Bertelli says, “It reads to me like a typical skunk ape or bigfoot sighting.” And one of the earliest reports of such. Another story that inspired his book is a family on Key Largo who witnessed a smelly hairy creature on their property, which frightened them so much they moved out of the Keys entirely. 

Both skunk ape aficionados have responses for the nonbelievers. Shealy says, “It’s not a good attitude to have because what they are doing is possibly putting a threatened or endangered species at risk and that they really need to do their research, possibly go out on their own. Just discounting it is doing an injustice to our native wildlife.” For Bertelli, “A lot of it has to do with not being willing to engage with something that is unknown. There are things out there bigger than ourselves. You have to keep an open mind.”

Fact or fiction, stories like these captivate people’s imaginations, and have for a long time. Like Bertelli says, “When you look back these bigfoot creatures have been sighted on six of the seven continents. When we go back hundreds and hundreds of years, every culture has their story about them.” So keep an open mind, and keep an eye out next time you’re in the Everglades. 

[tapwater118]

.I have been bested. happy birth of the universe. goodbye

fades into dust

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...

The Earth began to cool,

The autotrophs began to drool,

Neanderthals developed tools,

We built a wall (we built the pyramids),

Math, science, history, unravelling the mysteries,

That all started with the big bang!

"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,

As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.

A fraction of a second and the elements were made.

The bipeds stood up straight,

The dinosaurs all met their fate,

They tried to leap but they were late

And they all died (they froze their asses off)

The oceans and pangea

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya

Set in motion by the same big bang!

It all started with the big BANG!

It's expanding ever outward but one day

It will cause the stars to go the other way,

Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be hurt

Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us

Debating out while here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)

Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy

It all started with the big bang!

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology

It all started with the big bang!

It all started with the big BANG!

[stonegearstudios]

Creating a MegaDungeon pt 3 Monsters

Air Cult Elemental, MTG by Kari Christensen

A MegaDungeon without monsters is just a somewhat unusual National Park.

For The Eye, I've been spending a while thinking what kind of creatures could not only survive, but thrive in the unique dungeon environment.

Elementals are an obvious choice, unbothered by the hash weather, no need to eat, can move through the floating islands (or at least the air elementals can), and quite possibly tied into the core mystery of the entire place.

But you can't build a dungeon on elementals alone (or can you) and every dungeon needs a low level monster that's still sapient to provide some early challenge. Goblins, kobolds (lizard or dog), rat men, that kind of thing. I wanted to create my own, a creature you could believe was at home in the Floating Islands, but wouldn't completely dominate them. For some reason the first place my mind went was flying squirrels.

The Bhutan giant flying squirrel

They could glide between the islands, even as bipeds they'd be small, and with how many squirrels there are out there they'd be believable as a nearly inexhaustible swarm. But they wouldn't be the definitive, sapient masters of the dungeon.

That would be the Harpies.

Harpy by Chris Campbell

Harpies, to me, seem like an excellent 'core' to build the dungeon around. They aren't the most numerous creatures in The Eye, nor even the most powerful, but they could be the most influential sapients.

They're considered monstrous enough that no PC would bat an eye at fighting them, but it also wouldn't be that surprising to talk with one. It's believable that they might have a settlement or several inside the eye where the PCs can walk around much like any other town, with only a portion of the harpies being involved. (Kinda like vikings and Scandinavians)

Harpies can also give other inspiration too. If there's tons of harpies around the region of this dungeon, maybe we give everything a intermediate and Greek flavour. Rather than western European castles and ruins around why not more stuff like this?

Ruins of the Temple of Hera

One decision can cascade into a whole host of other ideas

[the-ephemeral-ethereal]

All of these evolutionary jostlings over five million years, from distant, puzzled australopithecine to fully modern human, produced a creature that is still 98.4 percent genetically indistinguishable from the modern chimpanzee. There is more difference between a zebra and a horse, or between a dolphin and a porpoise, than there is between you and the furry creatures your distant ancestors left behind when they set out to take over the world.

from A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

[bigfootmountain]

A Soviet scientist said Wednesday she came within feet of the legendary abominable snowman during an eyeball to eyeball encounter with the furry beast in the snow covered forests of western Siberia.

In what Radio Moscow described as one of the closest encounters of its kind, the creature reportedly stood and stared at her with red eyes, not making a sound, before her pet dog chased the snowman or yeti deep into the woods.

The scientist, Maya Brikova, told Radio Moscow she had spent 25 years studying the yeti. Her sighting occurred late last year when Soviet media reported three yeti encounters.

Brikova and two guides had stopped for the night in a forest cabin at an undisclosed site in western Siberia and were awakened by a sound of rolling logs. They said they rushed out to the porch and saw the creature they had waited so long to see.

'The day was breaking and we could see everything clearly. I saw in front of me an animal about 2 meters (6 foot, 7-inches) tall, covered with fur some 6 to 7 seven centimeters (2.5 to 3 inches) long,' Brikova said. 'It was covered with so much fur, its lips looked like slits. The fur on its head and face was shorter than that of its body. The palms were red and bare. The creature studied us with great attention. Its eyes were red without any whites, and its ears didn't stick out,' she said.

Radio Moscow said there had been an estimated 5,000 eyewitness accounts of yeti sightings in the Soviet Union, mostly by peasants, drivers, shepherds and other rural people.

The sightings had been reported in the Caucases region, the Altai district of south-central Siberia and the northeastern Yakutia area.

Brikova said she had prepared herself for such an encounter, so that she could have 'a very good look at this creature and examine it thoroughly. There was a distance of 5 meters (16 feet) between us.'

She said it had not been difficult to measure the hairy biped's height because it was standing against a tree.

'We just stood on the porch and didn't move. The creature didn't move either. Then, all of a sudden our dog dashed out, and the creature quickly hid itself in the forest. We looked around for it but never saw it again,' Brikova said. ---

Last month, the leader of Soviet scientific expedition told the official Tass news agency one of the creatures had repeatedly tried to make friendly contact with his reasearch team in the Pamir mountains near the border with Afghanistan.

Igor Tatsl, said his expedition had reported several nocturnal encounters with the yeti, which they had also seen in the twilight at a distance of about 30 meters (90 feet).

Radio Moscow described Brikova's sighting as one of the closest encounters of its kind but did not say whether she had photographed or filmed the human-like creature. Although yetis, also sighted in the Himalayas, are dismissed by many scholars as a myth, some claim they could be a form of hitherto unclassified ape.

Radio Moscow said in the past 60 years, more than 100 specimens of large mammals had been discovered, 'so the most unexpected discoveries are always possible.'

The Soviets set up a special organization at the end of last year to establish contact with the abominable snowman. Its head, Pavel Belenitsky said the group based in Leningrad will embark on an expedition from May to September to try and obtain photographs and video footage.

'We shall not be hunting for the creature. We shall not be trying to get hold of nature's mystery. It is more important to study its psychological traits, its habits, its migration routes, in short its life under natural conditions,' he said.

The ministry of culture recently established a Society of Cryptozoologists to study the possiblity of its existence following the discovery of a report that Marshal Pavel Rybalko, a famed Soviet tank leader, carried a snowman-like creature in a railroad freight car for several days in 1939 during fighting against the Japanese in the Soviet far east.

Soviet authorities also claim there is evidence that Maj. Gen. Alexander Topilsky found a dead snowman after a shootout with White Russian troops in the 1920's during the Russian Civil War.

By ROMAN ROLLNICK

Copyright: COPYRIGHT 1988 United Press International

[little-earthquakes-rp]

Bio

Name: Valdis Smith (Val)

Age: Beyond comprehension

Supernatural species: Wrath Demon & World Walker

Nickname: The Collector

Dark eyes, dark hair, & dark heart

As long as Valdis can recall Earth had always been an enigma; one that he’d been hell-bent on unraveling the mystery. After being fed the stories of the former glory of the forbidden realm. The wrath demon was born shortly after his tribe opted to retreat from it during the great purge. Returning to their original dimension of Delexos. Thousands of years passed as the demon moved through dimensions and time, always avoiding the cursed rock of Terra.

In time factions among the tribes grew on Delexos and war inevitability began to spread throughout. From inception, Valdis was groomed to be efficient in violence and realm jumping, and while he much preferred the latter he never minded getting his hands dirty. Realm jumping was a unique gift among his species and allowed him a certain freedom over his own destiny. The demon didn’t have to rely on being summoned and could jump through portals on a whim making him highly sought after. Valdis was constantly collecting demons, deities, and souls from other realms to bring back at the bequest of his leaders. Often in war numbers prove to be an important asset. After an extended period of capture and enslavement by an adversary the Val grew disillusioned by the never-ending war and traveled far from Delexos.

Eventually, curiosity proved too much of an allure as he subtly jumped realms landing on the forbidden world. The fearful whispers of his ancestors no longer held true. Its residents long ago ended their campaign to rid their world of demons. They were too busy fighting a war among themselves letting him blend right in. Physically he integrated in with the other bipeds except for having to file his fangs and horns down periodically. His dark hair kept longer covered the small protruding bones keeping them hidden. Warring in this land was quite different and he found himself invested in the game often joining different revolutions and resistances. In truth, he liked the place and its inhabitants very much and periodically returned when world jumping. Eventually returning to Delexos with a slew of captured new collateral to fight in the on going war, but his offerings were becoming fewer and far between.

War was the reason he was near the Black Sea that day when he felt a tear and witnessed a portal open. Curious he followed it to find a Vengeance demon had been summoned. After a brief exchange, he killed the demon and opted to answer the call himself. It was then he happened upon Pavlo Terasenko an exceptional death witch who was in the throws of personal devastation. Valdis offered him assistance if in return he would gather souls for him to take back to Delexos where they were used to feed the Hyndra. A demon species that feeds on essence. Despite the demons souring opinion of his home he needed to keep making an offering out of respect. A working relationship formed between the witch and demon eventually a friendship to follow.

In the consequent years, he finds himself spending more time on this plane. Deciding long ago that the tactical style of how humans fought was superior and more enjoyable to his own kind. In fact, many things suit him better here including the advantages he holds over the general population. Pavlo and his daughter Sasha have adopted Val helping in fit in this realm and forming a small family.

Attributes:

Immortal-More deity than even a demon he’s an immortal and is not affected by earthly diseases or injuries or even time. He can self-heal and on occasion has resurrected others.

Strength- Super human strength

Telekinesis- the ability to move items with a thought

World Walker -The ability to travel through multiple dimensions and time and able to collect souls.

[thepiercedbutterfly]

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang)

Since the dawn of man is really not that long As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song A fraction of a second and the elements were made The bipeds stood up straight, the dinosaurs all met their fate They tried to leap but they were late And they all died (they froze their asses off) The oceans and Pangea, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya Set in motion by the same big bang It all started with the big bang

It's expanding ever outward but one day It will pause and start to go the other way Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses) Religion or astronomy (Descartes or Deuteronomy) It all started with the big bang

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology It all started with the big bang It all started with the big bang

[maaarine]

The Law of Blood: Thinking and Acting as a Nazi (Johann Chapoutot, 2014)

"Attitudes toward animals were thus presented as evidence of an ethical and intellectual divide between the Nordic and Jewish races, as well as of extremely different ways of relating to the world:

the Jewish person refused nature and mistreated animals; the Nordic individual, by contrast, celebrated nature and believed that the difference between humans and animals was negligible (because humans are animals)—far too negligible to justify assaulting their physical integrity.

In addition to the law of April 23, 1933, the Third Reich vaunted its Reichstierschutzgesetz (Reich Animal Protection Act, passed on No- vember 24, 1933), whose first article prohibited inflicting pain on or otherwise mistreating animals.

In this way, justice was done to an inborn sentiment that was unique to the Nordic race: exalting the closely linked nature of bipeds and quadrupeds.

Hunting, however, was a noble and revered pastime—so much so that Hermann Goering, never able to pass up a fancy title, had himself named the Reich’s master huntsman.

Not that hunting was contradictory to this “love of animals . . . which is German in its essence”:

it was merely necessary to respect “the foundational laws of the hunt,” a custom “which we may proudly claim as a German virtue and which is based on respect for the animal, for this creature who is our sister.” (…)

Their affection for animals also did not prevent the Nazis from biological and “medical” experimentation.

Before 1933, they denounced “Jewish medicine” and its sadistic practices, notably its use of vivisection.

After 1933, however, animals were no less subject to this sort of practice.

Even worse, when it came to research of strategic interest to the state (resistance to poison gas, biological weapons, and so on), animal experimentation was widespread and uncontested.

Not all animals found favor in the eyes of the Nazis.

Predators (Raubtiere) were seen as fighters demonstrating superior strength in the struggle for life, and were held in great esteem.

At the same time, certain domestic animals were dismissed as having been alienated and enslaved by a life of weakness and dependence on humans.

Alles Leben ist Kampf (All life is struggle), a 1937 documentary that promoted eugenics and the practice of sterilization for “useless lives,” praised stags—in particular, the alpha male victors in mating combats—then flashed an image of a coddled, curly haired poodle onto the screen.

It was, the film explained, the perfect example of culture’s role in countering natural selection:

“Once, we believed that we could preserve all useless life, even encourage it.

Left to their own devices, none of these pathetic creatures would emerge victorious” in the struggle for life.

Nazis’ love of animals, just like their enchantment with the mystery of the natural world, had its limits: there is no absolute valorization of animals in Nazi texts.

Nazi esteem for animals was relative, and depended on an animal’s life force and capacity for aggression.

A poodle, from this perspective, deserved only the cruelest Darwinian sarcasm."