#the only one im unhappy with is evan

[freaky-chips]

Sometimes you just get the urge to draw things that you liked in highschool

[tonguetyd]

Hiiiii! I only seeing you reblogged the ask game as well, hope i'm not terribly late. 🫂💖 Also sorry if i'm repeating any question, but may i:

39, Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? 123, What colour are your towels? 140, Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Julie Andrew’s voice: a queen is never late, everyone else is simply early

39, Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Honestly both! I guess I slightly prefer behind it, but more like in a “I am taking this selfie of all of us” kinda way. It’s taken a very long time for me to like how I look in photos but now that I like it, I’m very happy getting in frame!

123, What colour are your towels?

Tan and grey (she’s boring). I do have one teal one from college that’s still kicking but it’s a kinda crappy one tbh, barely holds any water at all

140, Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Ok I happen to have my Bag-O-Sentimental Things near my bed today which has my “You Are OK - Finding Your Way When Life Doesn’t Feel OK” album release book from The Maine and Evan Lucy.

“But The Maine have made peace with their choice, maintaining they’d rather be at the level they are and happy than at the next level and unhappy with how they got there.”

Which HI SORRY IM DRIFT AND IM GONNA TAKE THIS AS A MOMENT TO RAMBLE ABOUT A BAND CALLED THE MAINE! Levynn I am so sorry I’m taking your ask and going on a crazy tangent - thank you very very much you are very sweet

This is literally everything I love about this band in a nutshell bc 1) this is literally a book they put out with their 7th record You Are OK which like. Need more be said on that album title? And they were just like “hey we not only want to do this record but we want to show you our headspace while we were writing it and let you know we see you and this is how we got here.”

2) the reason they can be like “fuck it lets also do a book” is because they have been completely 100% independent since 2011 (cough fuck Warner Bros cough) and it ALLOWS them to have the mindset Evan mentions. They DID the big label and the one hit in 2008. They could have probably been playing arenas and getting radio play on the alt stations long before now, but they aren’t. Which brings me to 3) because they want to do things authentically and not just churn out money.

This is the band that did a FOR FREE TOUR. AN ENTIRE TOUR!! WHERE YOUR TICKET WAS FREE. JUST SHOW UP. They *CALL YOU* when you pre order their record just to say thanks (and sometimes to prank you but that’s a story for another time #BigStimmyEnergy)

They hop down off stage right after the gig and take photos with as many people as they can. I’ve met these guys more times than I could accurately count. My cousins thought I was dating Jared the guitarist cuz I had him in so many of my profile pics on Facebook 😂 I have NEVER done a paid m&g for TM because their whole THING is “we want to meet you too. Come talk to us.” They don’t HAVE m&g, they have Pat the drummer slinging merch or the post-show hangs or walking the line while everyone is queuing. I think it’s harder to NOT meet TM than to actually meet them 😂

They make it SO OBVIOUS that they care and want to have success in the industry yes, but not at the expense of us. And that is so incredibly rare. I never question if the guys in TM are good people - I sometimes question if they think their shit through enough and definitely know they stumble like everyone. But I never question their intentions. Or where their hearts are.

They’d rather be where they are and happy than the next big thing.

I haven’t read through this thing in a while and honestly kinda forgot I had it, so thank you very much for letting me find it again (and sorry for gushing but. They are my faves. band1. Forever.)

[luveline]

hiiii jade my love light of my life i hope it’s not too late for me to talk about a thread of time! i’ve been so excited to read it and share my thoughts with you cause you know better than anyone how much i love the red string of fate thing and i couldn’t wait to see how you’d write about that <3

"No! I have delusions to attend to. Need anything while I'm out?"

and

Eddie pretends to stab himself in the eye by the front door, over and over.

i love how boyish eddie is portrayed in that! his small arguments with wayne, him hanging out with his friends <333 i loveeee boyish menacing eddie as much as i love seeing him all mature and it’s a delight to see your take on both sides of him <3

i love the way you write about the string too! how only eddie can see it at first and he tries to show it to everyone and no one sees it, but also how it’s tricky to move and live around it cause it almost has it’s own personality. i thought this was probably my favourite thing about it!

You're stripped back in one way and more beautiful all the others, bare-skinned, no makeup or glitters to hide behind. Eddie loves when you're expressing yourself but he craves how you look now, a secret he's desperate to know.

first favourite quote <3 maybe one of my all time favourites from you <3

Sure. If I'm delusional, of course it's something to do with you.

ughhhh he likes her so muchhhhh 😭😭😭😭

but then his hand dropped down rather than up, looking for something to take rather than something to hold.

this is kind of heartbreaking and infuriating but also beautifully written

Come and meet my parents," Eddie says, shoulders jumping, hands up in jazz hands, "look at my baby photos."

you have no idea how hard im fighting the urge to do a ryan-evans-in-high-school-musical joke about his little jazz hands

Wayne used to say Eddie could wear whatever he wanted, paint his face a hundred different colours, so long as he got to take a picture.

and

"I still think you should ask her for dinner. Any sense about her and she'll say yes." Eddie smiles. It's one of those things your mom says to you when you're down on your luck. Handsomest guy in the world, how could anybody say no to that face?”

I LOVE WAYNE SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND (you do)

He thinks he'd like that, to sit here and watch you, listening to one of your CDs, the string between you bouncing with each turn of a page.

can i please have that. im not above begging. such a comfortable and beautiful image and also one of my favourite scenes too.

The string must be a manifestation or those seconds, threads of time tied together that join you forever, even if you can't see them. They're there. Eddie cares about you and it makes his throat hurt to hear your unhappy sounds; you have this morosity to you that he isn't stupid enough to ignore. Everybody had something weighing them down. He needs to find a way to hold yours for you. Just for a bit, however long you need.

“just for a bit” i love him so much. i really do

It's not other people I need to convince." You retreat behind your closet door again, your voice half as clear as you confess, "I think... I've always been like this. I look in the mirror and I don't even know who I'm looking at. She doesn't feel like me."

oh. felt

Is that rejection, or is he self-absorbed?

im not sure if you meant it to be funny but i thought this was so hilarious and i really loved that line

Seventeen year olds are stupid. I thought I knew everything at seventeen and now I'm twenty three and the only thing I know for sure is that I don't know anything.

that’s sooo nothing new - taylor swift ft phoebe bridgers coded

The string whips like a ribbon in the wind before falling into the shape of a heart again, clearly pleased to have you near.

and

In fact, all it takes is the idea of you, the slightest memory of your smile, your hands, the way you tell stories to the group with your shoulders turned to him like he's there alone, and the string flinches.

see what i mean about the string having a personality of its own!!! it’s so cool and fun and magical i really loved that <3

None of it was love, you aren't in love, but Eddie thinks he could've been. He was halfway there, falling, whatever the poets might say —Eddie wants you. Wants to do stupid shit with you. He can picture everything like he has before, that first bouquet of flowers, lilies with big white petals and purple sunspots. The cellophane would crinkle in trembling hands pressed to his chest, their stems leaking dew into his hardly worn button up. He'd pass them to you with more confidence than he feels and tell you that you look pretty. You always look pretty. He's not pretty, he's barely funny, he was stupid for thinking you'd like him too. […] There were times... Eddie clutches his chest. The nausea he's feeling can't be understated. There were times when you could've been in love with him, he thinks.

THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE PART

Because he likes you. Because a string runs from his hand to yours that can't be severed. The latter feels as mythological as the former.

ouch…… felt

Eddie thinks that there's a string tied from his finger to yours to torture him as a link to something he wants, but can't have. It doesn't make much sense. Eddie Munson could have you if he asked nicely enough.

ahsbajsjenaj if he asked nicely enough!!!! same girlie

“Loser," he says, looking himself straight in the eye.

me !

Imagine buying a girl baked goods for her to reject you.

honestly? can’t even imagine rejecting someone who got me baked goods. they might be the way to my heart

Eddie wants to be cool like a rockstar who knows you want him and doesn't care, and he wants to be sweet and gentle and give you the respect you deserve, but mostly he wants to make it out of this conversation with you at his side. He's not sure how to do it, but holding your hand as you seem to want him to is a start.

i love him it’s not even funny

Eddie doesn't know if he believes in soulmates, but he believes in the hopeful colour to your voice as you say it, and the tacky skin of your cheek as he leans in for your fifth kiss, your sixth, each one better than the last. If his soulmate were going to be someone, he'd want nothing more than for it to be you.

jade. my love. i know you worked so hard on that fic and it paid off SO well. this is beautiful and young and lovely and fun and i love it and i love you. i genuinely adore how you write every character and how you write reader, i genuinely feel so seen through all of them. thank you thank you thank you for your dedication and your hard work and your beautiful writing. to read your work is a privilege and to be able to discuss it with you is an even bigger one. and being your friend is better than all of that combined. definitely something beyond privilege!! im glad fate brought us together too <3 love youuuuu 💌 - lu

hallo

first im not sure But I think some of your quotes are from the earlier versions I sent to you which is fine and doesn't matter but you're exposing me to the masses for my typos and rough draft hahaha

You know I love your commentary almost more than I love writing the fic in the first place 😭 thank you for taking the time to compile what you liked, it makes me so happy reading the stuff you picked out and your thoughts too. And we're always on the same wave!! I loved writing boyish Eddie, the string, Wayne being Wayne, so I love that you picked that stuff out 🥺 thank you for reading lu (like three whole times) I love youuuuj

[squeeneyart]

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 18

AO3

Beta reader is @thesnadger!

Communication is established.

Martin has a job to do.

After months of near constant solitude and a week of above-average social interaction, Martin had to deal with an unhappy middle: Peter, with no warning or pattern, would appear at the lighthouse at whatever time seemed to suit his fancy. Bright and early one day, late lunch the next, twice already on Thursday, all for reasons Martin couldn’t wonder aloud at for fear of seeming too curious.

No alone time meant no poking his nose around. Not that he was supposed to, keeping his head down and all that, but sitting around wasn’t doing his nerves any favors.

It was easy to imagine Peter hiring someone to tail him home, so Martin never dared to take a new path or turn for that whole week. When he got home he stayed home. When he got to work he stayed at work. And when he walked in either direction he most certainly never took the sharp turn toward the Fairchild home, no matter how intensely curious he got.

So, once the group text was actually formed early in the next week (Tim: it was a promise not a threat!), Martin had taken part in the first of many nearly identical conversations. They boiled down to:

Martin: peters been weird, cant predict when he’ll be around

Sasha: we’re still pretty locked up, will let you know if things change

Jon: Elias has been elusive but I’m working on it.

Tim: can’t keep us busy forever

Besides some scattered thoughts and jokes primarily from Tim that got Martin through the more tedious aspects of the work day, the messages were all vague statements telling him “soon, we promise” and random tidbits from him of Peter being weird. The whirlwind of progress from the week prior was over. Waiting and sitting on his hands was all Martin had left.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Jon had a lot more to say over phone calls than text. That much was clear by Tuesday night as Jon called to elaborate on his frustrations with Elias and continue other topics they’d discussed the conversion prior. The burden of starting the call and coming up with a topic was blessedly off Martin's shoulders, and it made the idea of regular conversations seem more possible.

While it was a relief to still talk to someone at length, Martin knew he would run out of things to say before long. He had no stories from the university he never attended, and Jon had been witness to Martin’s strangest place of work. The more he could deflect personal questions and get Jon to talk about himself, the longer it would take for Martin to be revealed as... well. Dull.

Still, he hoped that Jon would call again soon. If Martin was around for it.

It was Thursday. Peter had been around twice already with no warning. It was getting to be mid-afternoon and he still had a duty to perform. That part of his contract hadn’t changed.

Martin groaned into his desk. It wasn’t fair to have his most mindless and daydream-conducive task twisted into something horrifying. Some little part of him hoped that Sasha’s reasoning from the week before would hold some water, that his knowledge of what was coming would somehow keep him aware of his surroundings.

There was one way to find out, as much as it made his stomach squirm, and the thought of doing so with Peter around was enough to propel Martin out of his chair and toward the cleaning closet.

He began to mop the main floor with a fervor. If Sasha was right and he managed to avoid getting sucked into a wall, Peter absolutely could not witness it. He would have to move fast, even if it scared the shit out of him. And really, was it so scary? It wasn’t something he remembered, and it never hurt him. Probably. He would at least feel pain if something had happened, right?

He had always been fine. A bit sore from lugging things up the stairs, but otherwise nothing had harmed him as far as he knew. What was he afraid of? A person that could watch him as he went about his work in a haze? Or the wall refusing to release him after he entered, trapping him without ever releasing his mind from-

Oh, no, his heart was racing, his hands shaking more by the second. Swallowing had become more difficult, dry throat and a tongue that felt three times too big. Martin walked toward the stairs, trying to keep water level in the mop bucket. The water level was the only evidence that he’d lost time, and he wasn’t going to do this without something to show for it.

Letting out a breath that sent shivers down his arms, Martin placed the mop down and took out his phone.

Martin: so im going upstairs now? to do the mop thing?

Martin: gonna try and use an old analog tape recorder like you all said. any final thoughts would be appreciated

He waited, growing more concerned by the second that he would get no answer, but finally someone responded.

Jon: Sounds like you’re all set. Be sure to send a message here once you’ve gotten back out again, or if you don’t go in at all.

Tim: yeah any situation where your feet are on solid ground really

Jon: You said before that Peter was around. Is it safe to assume he’s left?

Martin: ok will do. he’s not here now so im getting it over with so he wont see anything weird

Jon: Okay, good luck and let us know when you’re out.

Martin: thanks

Sasha: if things start to seem off, retreat back downstairs and call us immediately

Tim: ^^^

Martin: okay, talk to you all soon

Before Martin pocketed his phone, he saw Tim leaving a string of thumbs-up and broom emojis, and as he began up the stairs the occasional vibration in his pocket revealed that something was happening past his goodbye. It wouldn’t be good for the recording if he kept it on like that, but he had no intention of silencing the phone or the people on the other end. He clicked on the tape recorder, placed it in his pocket, and began his climb.

The bucket and mop were as unwieldy as ever, and for not the first time he thought about how nice an elevator would be for his knees before shaking his head. This was a time for focus. Drifting thoughts were a one-way ticket to lost time in a much more literal sense than usual.

He was walking up a rather repetitive staircase, but every once in a while there would be an imperfection that reminded him of where he was in space. A crack here, some chipped paint there. Looking around there were plenty of place markers. His feet were on stairs that were the same as they always were.

About a quarter of the way up, this method began to make his stomach flip. Once, he looked too far ahead, too much up. So he kept his eyes down. He’d been keeping to the inside of the stairs, but his gaze drifted too far and oh, no, another spiral leading down which was worse.

This building, he thought, didn’t appreciate him looking too hard. Fine. He could stay present without a visual anchor. There was still buzzing coming from his pocket, thought less often than before. At least they were still around. If anything happened, they would know quickly and be able to do something. Sure, he hadn’t seen them solve any problems yet, but there was enough confidence between the three of them that they had to have some level of competence.

Martin looked down at the bucket in his hand and held back a scream.

Instead, he hissed at the thing, “When?! We aren’t even halfway up! I let myself think for two seconds and- oh, dammit!” He dug into his pocket for the tape recorder, but it was nowhere to be found.

Martin turned toward the wall, any fear being quickly replaced by petty indignation. “Hey! I paid for that! You can’t just- as if you even need to pick my pockets when you’re a big, stupid voice recorder all on your own!”

Besides the echo of his own voice bouncing up and away from him (mocking him, probably) nothing bothered to respond. He had half a mind to toss the bucket and mop down the stairs for the sake of his aching arms, but he resumed his walk with a quickened pace. If Peter hadn’t come back yet, and it didn’t sound like he had, Martin would do something while he had the time.

At the top of the stairs, Martin opened up the group chat just long enough to type one message.

Martin: lighthouse stole my tape recorder

Then he stuffed the mobile away and made a beeline for the horrible machine he’d been faced with every day that week. His phone buzzed with incoming messages, the motion in his pocket slowly becoming more of a reassurance.

First, he took the time to look at it as a whole. The back couldn’t be reached with it pressed up against the inner wall. Did it make sense for it to be put there? Unsurprisingly, when he’d finally looked up how lighthouses were supposed to work, the panel itself was nowhere to be found as part of the process. What a surprise!

When he’d started the new order of button pushing that past Friday, he’d tried to listen for the mechanisms behind it, but he didn’t know enough about normal mechanics let alone whatever this was to make any judgments. He’d cursed himself then for not paying attention and asking more questions at the start, but there was no helping it.

Really, the fact that he’d been hired at all should’ve been a dead giveaway.

The dial that had once allowed Evan to speak was entirely cut out from the process, a disconnected thing that gave no feedback after being twisted. Did that mean the entire cause was lost? Or had its function been moved to another piece, or a series of pieces-

“Ah, Martin, thought I might find you up here.”

Martin was going to die.

It was a thought that came unbidden, the only clear thing in his head as he turned to find Peter Lukas climbing the last stair without a sound coming from his less than newly polished leather shoes. The soles should’ve made a clicking sound.

Peter looked at him and smiled. “Scared you, didn’t I? Always been told I have quiet feet.”

“Yeah, you did. Wasn’t very nice.” He couldn’t keep the slight shake out of his voice. His hand reached out and grasped the mop’s hand.

“Not for you maybe, but the look on your face is very funny.” The smile grew just a little more cheerful.

“Sure. Well, I’m-”

“Cleaning, right,” Peter said, pressing a hand to his forehead as if remembering something. “Glad to see the last smudges from them wiped away, if I’m honest. More people, more mess for you to clean up later.”

“I suppose, yeah. Need to clean anyway, though.” To emphasize his point, Martin began to clean the floor around and away from the panel. “Did you…”

“Oh, no, nothing really. Just wanted to check in a bit more after all the... disruption from before. And to make you jump a little. Need to make my own fun, sometimes. The week has been dreadful, Martin.”

And you’re spreading the feeling around. “Hm,” Martin replied, as dismissive and uninterested as he could muster.

Martin could hear the smile in Peter’s voice and knew he’d failed to dampen the man’s strange energy. “Yes, well, I’ll be off. When-” And then Peter was interrupted by a prolonged buzzing in Martin’s pocket. “Need to answer that?”

Shrugging, Martin continued to mop and kept his eyes to the ground. “Weird spam call, probably. Mum wouldn’t call my mobile.”

“Mm, good answer. Company time and all that.” With an odd stretching motion, Peter glanced out the window. “Oh, and what were you doing when I came up?”

“Stretches,” Martin replied abruptly. He coughed and evened out his voice. “The walk up is terrible.”

“And that’s why I have you do it for me!” Peter’s laugh came out rough and strangely quiet, a noise that settled under Martin’s skin. The old man’s face twisted into an unreadable smile, something that underneath the mirth felt like a taunt. “But enough of that. Don’t know if I’ll be back again today. And keep that thing quiet if you’re not expecting work calls. Nothing worse than being contacted from anywhere in the world at any time, truly.” The smile seemed to sink into a genuine, almost childlike frown, and Peter slinked back down the stairs without another sound.

After about five minutes of mopping, Martin released the hand and collapsed on the couch. Stupid, stupid, of course he would come right as he was about to fiddle with things.

The prolonged vibrations had ceased some minutes ago, and Martin finally opened the group chat to see what he’d missed. There were several messages from earlier in which Tim and the others had continued to chat. Then his message and general confusion and concern which Martin had expected. Finally, a missed call from Sasha, followed by a text.

Sasha: do we need to get over there?

Blinking, Martin considered the message. Was that an option?

Martin: no everything is over

Martin: peter came in, had to lie about it being a spam call

Jon: of course he did

Sasha: well, call when you think it’s safe

Tim: and maybe check your pockets

Immediately, Martin patted himself down, though nothing seemed amiss. His phone was of course still on him, and there was nothing new.

Martin: everything else is the same. the lighthouse wasnt nice enough to trade something for my tape recorder

Tim: :(

Jon: Sasha is right. We’ll do better if we talk over the phone later when you’re sure to be out of Lukas’ sight. Keep inventory of your things and call us when you can.

Hesitating for a moment, Martin looked down at the winding stairs.

Martin: if you had to get here how long would it take

Sasha: about two hours if i’m driving

Martin: right

Martin: okay. ill call you soon

--

The same conclusion was made as before, only moreso. Martin would keep his head down with exactly zero poking around. The lockscreen of his mobile would show no notifications to mitigate the risk of eavesdropping (what if his phone was stolen by his evil workplace?), and unless there was some sort of emergency no messages or calls were to be made during his work hours.

Peter certainly knew something was going on. There was no point in pretending otherwise. Martin would have to hope they were both committed to playacting their routine for as long as the others needed to get back and do something.

The thought dug a pit in his stomach. Pretending that everything was exactly the way it had been was just... being alone for most of the day. He’d enjoyed receiving random messages at work and the sudden movement in his pocket that meant someone was around. It was a normal thing for people, texting when they’re supposed to be working. Pity he’d mucked it up so fast.

Long after he’d prepared for sleep, Martin sat on his bed with mobile in hand. His contact list was so short that he didn’t even need to scroll to find Jon’s name. It was right under an old manager he’d never deleted from his contacts.

His thumb twitched over the call button. He wasn’t going to do it, but it was a nice thought. They’d already spoken at length today, with everyone showing enough concern that Martin had needed the alone time afterwards to breath.

That being said, enough time had passed for him to be itching for any conversation he could get, and he wanted to talk to Jon because he still didn’t quite get Sasha, and conversation with Tim tended to run short because Martin didn’t know how to keep things going after he’d dumped all of his grievances on the guy the week prior.

And he liked talking to Jon. And maybe it was because Martin understood a topic Jon cared deeply about, but Jon seemed to like talking to Martin, too.

There was no call that night, and he was out 20 pounds for that tape recorder from the resale shop.

[thisissirius]

BUDDIE-

Gives nose/forehead kisses

buck loves to lean down, kiss the top of eddie’s head whenever eddie’s sleeping or dozing. eddie pretends it doesn’t happen just so he can feign sleep. eddie’s desperate for the touch of someone else, for someone to take him in their arms and-

buck knows. buck always knows, and he’ll lean in, brush a kiss to eddie’s nose, and eddie will look, see, and it’ll be an easy step from there to a press of lips.

Gets jealous the most

eddie. that boy has ZERO chill when it comes to people moving up on buck. he fought hard for buck (even went to therapy) and he’ll be damned if other people even THINK-

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

@hearteyesforbuck and i have a headcanon (made today, yes we do eli) where eddie gets super drunk because it’s the only way he can suffer Feelings with buck so it’s usually buck picking him up. (buck gets drunk in the privacy of their own home where they can get handsy without their coworkers or the general public seeing them, eddie)

Takes care of on sick days

eddie. eddie, eddie, eddie. buck wouldn’t even notice he was sick. eddie likes taking care of people; it’s how he shows his love. he makes soup (lol he gets abuela to make soup). he goes to the pharmacy. he makes sure buck’s warm/cool/whatever he needs. he’s also overbearing, but buck loves him anyway, and it’s honestly sweet how caring he can be and not even realize it.

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

i mean, buck has issues with water. BUT, eddie takes buck’s hands, helps him breathe it out. tells him softly to close his eyes, that he’s got him, he’s not gonna let anything happen to buck. he ghosts a kiss over buck’s cheek and buck goes, sucks in a breath at the water, but eddie’s there, eddie’s holding him. he takes a step, another. 

Gives unprompted massages

buck read somewhere they’re supposed to help in the long term and honestly, eddie’s shoulders are - well. they’re amazing. eddie’s got this way of going boneless under his hands, relaxing in ways buck doesn’t often see. he’s a little addicted to the unprompted noises eddie makes, the way he’ll be soft and ridiculous after, kissing buck with abandon, spreading out on the couch like there’s nowhere else he wants to be than with buck.

Drives/rides shotgun

eddie doesn’t drive if he doesn’t have to. he’s probably gonna have to sell his damn truck, so he carpools with buck. on the days they don’t share a shift, buck drives him in anyway, leaning across the center console to steal a kiss. eddie’s getting better with pda, leans into the touch and says, “thanks. see you at home.”

“yeah,” buck will reply. “home.”

Brings the other lunch at work

i mean, bobby would KILL THEM if they tried to bring lunch to work. though lunch is probably the only thing eddie is allowed to make in the kitchen. (”I CAN HEAR YOU IN THOSE CUPBOARDS, EDMUNDO DIAZ.” “SHUT UP BUCK, IM MAKING A DAMN SANDWICH.” “OUT. OF THE KITCHEN.”) if one of them is working and the other isn’t, they bring home leftovers and share them at the kitchen table over a catch up, grinning like lovesick fools and trading finger touches and kisses. 

Has the better parental relationship

i think it’s safe to say they both suck. buck doesn’t talk about his parents much, and eddie soothes whatever nightmares come. buck knows the history with eddie’s parents; he knows they’re good people, but he hears tried to take christopher and makes a vow. eddie’ll never have to lose chris, not while buck’s still got breath in his body.

Tries to start role-playing in bed

buck’s got ideas okay? it’s not his fault eddie’s BORING. (I’m not boring, i just prefer not to have to dress up like a firefighter when i play one in real life, EVAN.) to be fair, eddie’s pretty willing to try whatever comes their way, but no, buck, he is not putting on that hat, stop it. 

Embarrassingly drunk dancer

eddie is a grade a. disaster. he fails at life. there’s immortalized video evidence of him dancing at the 118 new years eve party and he’s abysmal. buck likes to watch it from time to time just because eddie trying to roll his hips like that-

Still cries watching Titanic

it’s just that movie but they’re both affected, and while they don’t cry a lot, they do for this. buck can’t handle rose being left alone, and frankly, eddie just can’t deal with almost having lost his son and buck in a water-related incident. they don’t watch it a lot; they learn not to. 

Firmly believes in couples costumes

chris is Unhappy whenever eddie and buck try and get out of it, but they always cave. a well placed look and a plea in buck’s ear and he caves faster than - well, buck. chris only uses his power for good, like ice cream and couples’ costumes.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

buck’s never had someone (since abby anyway) to spend money on, and making eddie smile is forever in his list of top 100 things to do. eddie deserves everything. plus, buck’s buying for two and if he goes crazy on chris, he can’t not buy something to light up eddie’s face like that. 

Makes the other eat breakfast

eddie’s in a routine with chris and buck both, and buck’s a bottomless pit. if he’s not eating bobby’s food, he’s eating heated up whatever-it-is abuela’s cooked for eddie’s this week. his favourite are molotes, which abuela makes especially for him because she’s always saying para mi dulcito and ignoring eddie’s pout.  

Remembers anniversaries

buck takes note; he knows when chris’ birthday is, when eddie’s birthday is, and he knows when he and eddie got together, but the dates easily blend. eddie marks it done, knows it to the minute. sometimes he can’t believe he got so lucky and he’s so determined to keep a hold of buck, to not ruin it a second time, he’ll remember everything if it means buck will stay. 

Brings up having kids

THEY ALREADY HAVE A KID.

but buck wants more, wants a huge family. eddie’s not sure it’s fair, that they have the time until they’re not working so much, in such dangerous jobs, but he’s willing to negotiate. he wants to make buck happy, but he also likes the idea of sharing more life with buck, of giving chris a brother or sister to love.

[ainstgirl]

Finding Happiness (4)

Chris Evans x Reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

The light of dawn wakes you up, it takes a moment to recognize where you were, and a little more time to remember why your muscles complained when you move. Suddenly the reality of what happened last night hits you, you cheated on your husband. "fuck" you say aloud waking up Chris. 

"Y/N?" he say half sleep. "this was a mistake" you get up quickly looking for your underwear. "why? i like you Y/N and you like me" he looks at you from the couch "I'm married Chris, i just cheated, fuck" you say while you get dressed. "but you are unhappy with him" he says. "i'm not unhappy in my marriage" you yell at him. "oh come on Y/N" he swears "you hardly talk about him, when he calls you you never answer, you are wishing that there are delays in the scenes so you have an excuse to not go home" he yells. "you know nothing about my marriage" you defend yourself "you are right, i don't, but i know how i feel when im with you and i know that you must feel something for me too" he says this time in a calmer tone "i... i need to go home John must be wondering where im at" you take your bag and go to the door "Y/N we need to talk" He runs to the door in his underwear to get to you. "no... i cant... i cant right now" you walk away when he tries to hold your hand " i need to leave" "fuck"  you hear him say when you close the door.

You couldn’t believe what you just did, you screwed up everything, how are you going to look your husband in the face after what you did. Your hands were shaking when you enter your house, John was having breakfast in the kitchen, he smiles when he see you "Y/N" he goes to you with a cup of coffe that you gladly wake "John... i stay late filming...how was NY?" you didn't know how to act with him after what you had done. "look... i'm sorry i forgot about our anniversary, It's not an excuse but I had a lot of work and i just forgot, but it will not happen again, i promissed" he says giving you a short kiss "you forgive me?" "yes, everything is fine" you say feeling like the worst person in the world "I'm going to change my clothes okay?" "okay, I'll make you some pancakes for breakfast okay?" "that would be perfect" you say before disappearing to your bedroom, You didn't know how long you were going to be able to keep a secret what you had done.

Luckily you only had one more scene to film with Chris, he tried to talk to you before filming it but you didn't let him, the best thing you could do was to get away from him, having him close to you was a reminder of what you had done and even worse, that you would do it again, because even though you know it's wrong, you can't help the feelings you had for him, and that scares you. The moment the director yells cut you run to your trailer, you hear Chris say your name but you ignore him. During this last two  week of filming you avoid Chris at all costs, but how could you avoid him at the wrap party tonight?   You and John came to the party in his car, you were nervous and he notices it "hey, you look beautiful, that dress looks good on you" he caress your face "thank you... and thanks for changing your mind and coming to the party" At first he was not going to come but at the last moment he decided to come, it seems that he is doing his part to improve your marriage. "let's go in" he says getting out of the car and runs to your door to open it for you.   The party was great, you introduce John to everyone, later you decide to go to the bar for a drink when Chris appears next to you. "you look beautiful" He says going over your body with his eyes "Chris..." you say in a whisper, he was the last person you wanted to see here, although a small part of you was longing for it. "Babe" John says putting a hand on your waist "don't you introduce us? I'm John her husband" he says offer him the other hand "Chris Evans her tv husband" he says doing the same. "it was good to see you Chris" you say trying to shorten this awkward encounter ,this was a nightmare, your nightmare. "wait i actually wanted to talk to him" your husband says making your blood freeze. "what... why would you..." you say nervous. Chris stiffens next to you. "I am creating my own law firm and I wanted to talk to you about the possibility of investing in it, I already have some NY partners very interested in it, I think it would be a good opportunity for you, in addition to your work you need a trustworthy law firm to review your contracts"  your husband says focusing his attention on Chris and takes out some cards from his pocket and gives them to him. "I'll think about it" Chris looks at you before answering "you have to be kidding me" you say feeling the anger go through your body "that's why you wanted to come?" you say angry "I'm an idiot, I thought you were doing your part to be better but you only wanted to come when I told you who would be at the party" "Y/N... can we talk about that later, Chris and I are talking..." he says annoying with you. "No" you say bluntly "you are going to leave the party" "you're embarrassing me" John says moving you away from Chris, although you could notice Chris gaze following you. 

"you are the one embarrassing me" You say letting go of his grip "I'm not going to apologize for trying to get new partners" he says angry. "If you don't leave the party then I'll go" you say walking away from him. "Y/N" he yells but you keep walking towards the wardrobe where you had left your coat. Suddenly someone grabs your arm and takes you to the room next to the wardrope, it was a room where they kept towels and cleaning products. "leave me alo..." you start to say but you stay silent when you see who was with you in that tiny room "what.. what are you doing? Chris are you crazy?" "are you okay? did he hurt you?" There is desperation in his voice "what are you talking about?" you say without understanding his attitude. "i saw how he grab you and take you away" He says worried and you let out a sigh "I had to contain myself to not push him away from you" "it's not what you think, he would never hurt me, at least not physically" you explain "i can't believe that I thought he was trying to fix things, i'm an idiot" "the only idiot here is him for not appreciating what he has" his words affect you more than they should "Y/N i can't stop thinking about you" "Chris... you can't say those things..." you say taking a step back , you need space to think. "why? its the truth and i'm know you feel the same" He steps forward. "i dont" you say looking away. "tell me that looking into my eyes and i will believe you" he brushes your cheek "I..." you start but as soon as you look at him your words can't come out. He quickly shortens the distance that separated you and kisses you passionately. His hands run over your legs lifting the dress, a moan scapes your lips when his tongue plays with your neck. When you were with Chris everything around you disappears, the only thing that mattered to you was how you felt in his arms. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist making you feel how ready he was. Just a few seconds later he was inside you still carrying you in his arms. You didn't have much time, someone could discover you. After a few  minutes he separates from you trying to catch his breath and you do the same. "that was..." he starts to say "intense" you finish for him. "i ... i have to go" you say fixing your dress "don't... if your not happy why stay with him?" he says holding your hand "it's more complicated that you think Chris" "Then explain it to me, because I do not understand why you are still with him when it is clear that you are not happy" "i need to go, they can't find us here Chris" you let go of his hand. "Let's meet tomorrow" he begs you. "chris..." "just to talk okay, please" he insist. "okay but i cant tomorrow, i'll text you next week okay?" you end up accepting. "okay" he kisses you one more time before you go.

Let me know what you thing!

MASTERLIST 

Part 5

[stfuisaac]

hello hello it’s lucky again and,, sadly,, we don’t have the technology that makes the thoughts we have just.... appear onto our screens yet... so this took a hot sec and still isn’t perfect bc i don’t plan on proofreading :\ but! here,, is,, my new,, drummer boy,, parumpumpumpum

‹ avan jogia, he/him, cis man, bisexual. › ISAAC BAROT is the TWENTY-SEVEN year old from SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said,  ❝ I HEARD THIS IS WHERE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THE TWILIGHT ZONE. ❞ they claim GET OUT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would BE OBLIVIOUS TO THERE EVEN BEING A KILLER UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. their fears include MANNEQUINS, HITCH-HIKERS and DYING WITH NOTHING TO SHOW, and they don’t know we know, but… HE GOT INTO A (MUTUALLY) NEAR FATAL ALTERCATION WITH A STRANGER HE GAVE A RIDE TO (YES, HE WAS AN UBER DRIVER - HIS GREATEST SHAME). hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ PLATANCHOR requested by JOAKIM from STRESSED OUT penned by, LUCKY, 20, EST. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: isaac benjamin barot

date of birth: september 12, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: virgo sun, taurus moon, libra rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: session drummer + lyft driver + ex-uber driver

mbti: entp

enneagram: 5w6

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “deja vu” - roger waters

BACKGROUND INFO:

alright. so.

isaac's backstory is neither tragic nor easy. his father was an immigrant who married his mother solely to get a green card (y’all, to be fair... the citizenship tests are whack). there wasn’t any real romance between the two, but the drop-ins always said otherwise. no, outside of putting on a show for government officials, isaac’s father and mother were friends at the best of times.

the best of times culminated in a son who grew up in an interesting dynamic. his father and mother never even attempted to be anything more than friends (with, as you can see, the occasional benefits). after the check-ins finally stopped, his father and mother even began sleeping in different rooms. his mother would trade in her queen for a double and replace the space his father used to take up with his cradle.

it was nothing like the ‘unhappy marriage’ trope, though... again, because they barely ever pretended to be married. they would take their wedding rings off when they went out with friends. sometimes they would even take off their rings around each other and talk the other up to someone attractive.

so it was unorthodox, but it was much better than his parents pretending to be in love in that way and giving him a skewed version of what romance should look like.

one down-side to it, though, was that isaac never knew who he was supposed to go to for what. usually it’s just a given that “if you need/want x, go to the matriarch, if you need/want y, go to the patriarch” but... what happens... when your parents are basically just your friends?

so thank god for growing up in the age of technology. like,, ya,, a literal baby can’t google things like “how to say ‘mom’” but a 15y/o can google “how to shave”

so... ya... his parents were his friends, the internet was his parent(s?).

one thing the internet couldn’t do? give him drums. it could introduce him to the likes of ringo starr, john bonham, keith moon, and ginger baker, but it couldn’t give him drums... not when he was only, like... 10, at least.

so he put a set on his christmas wishlist and figured they would divide amongst themselves.

so ya, his 10th christmas, he got a shitty little rockwood hohner kit that he would use for the next nine years.

he never received any professional training. again, he didn’t know who to ask and... youtube wouldn’t exist for another three years. he tried to teach himself using a few books and, if nothing else, figured out a few simple beats and how to gain independence.

after learning those simple little beats and not knowing if he wanted to buy the next book, he decided to take a break and, instead of going back to professional books, he’d just listen to some of his favorite tracks... most of which were ginger baker... which made things kind of hard when he only had one bass drum, two tom-toms, and one floor tom. those, plus the really low quality pearl cymbals. still, he did his best to make it work.

just a side-note that, because of videos of ginger, isaac used (and still uses, out of habit) a mix of traditional and matched grip.

he went back and forth between the books and mimicking the patterns of other drummers (mostly ginger) up until he was around 16 and his friend, ribs (y’all), decided to teach him a few more technical skills. what you want to learn for this song are polyrhythms, but those are hard and no, ginger isn’t using a crash there, he’s using a splash and do you want a discount on some better cymbals and drumheads from my parents’s music shop because this is a very functional kit but it kind of sounds whack

he continued using the same whack kit, but replaced the heads with aquarians, as per ribs’s recommendation (but evans and remo are also good) and, after literally examining baker’s kit, replaced the cymbals with various zildjian collections

even though we stan istanbul agop in this house.

he also started listening to more drummers than... pretty much just baker with a hint of john bonham, keith moon, and ringo starr. as his friend suggested, he tried out drummers like buddy rich, art blakey, travis barker, dave grohl, karen carpenter, neil peart, nick mason, simon phillips –– even was told to listen to ac/dc songs just to see how a successful band could be made using essentially the same beat over and over and over.

so now he had some split time. school. work. practice. figure out who the hell was making dinner that night/if there was someone making dinner last night because they might both be talking each other up.

although he applied to various colleges, and although some of these colleges actually accepted him, he ultimately decided not to go. instead, he moved from san jose to los angeles in the hopes that he’d find something bigger than himself... and a new drum set...

he found the latter in a ludwig kit with two bass drums, two tom-toms, and two floor toms. then he just added a bunch of stuff and tried to make it like ginger baker’s. pretty much spent all of his money on it and then some.

when his friends formed a band and found success, he was very very happy for them... but... he found himself stuck... driving ubers.

and lyfts!

he’d seen the twilight zone before. he loved that show. he’d seen the episode ‘the hitch-hiker,’ so he was really driving for the companies against his better judgment. 

his worst uber story? the time a guy got into the car, had pinged a location that was still marked as a store on the uber gps but had recently been torn down, and tried to attack him when they got there :\ he 110% fought back, though. was fired because the other guy was the one who made it out injured.

only drove for lyft after that :\

he did take on a few projects, but he... proved to be too much of a roger waters for people who just wanted to chill and have fun. there would be adverts for people who wanted to form a band and he’d be like “hell yeah! finally! a band!” then he’d get pissed that they advertised it so seriously but really... just wanted to jam. did not have any plans to try to do anything with it.

the few projects he did join that involved people who wanted to actually achieve success... if they were slacking, you best bet his inner roger waters came out! which is why he never stuck around in any projects for too long!

but ‘projects’ and ‘jam sessions’ were totally different. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a project? he’s gonna take that intro that literally everyone on the planet knows SERIOUSLY. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a jam session? LET’S HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.

he does some session/studio drumming for other artists to make some extra money while doing something he genuinely enjoys... but... still... it is no project™

in between things right now, he got a call from joakim that, while muffled and staticky, sounded like it said ‘get here, please’ and clearly stated where he was.

of course, voicemail lines were crossed and many many many essential words were left out – words that were basically saying the exact opposite ahfsdkjl. the shadow’s really playin them :\

so here he is, in all his glory.

TL;DR:

i was gonna kms if i didn’t play another drummer, so this is my ginger baker fanboy whose parents were literally just best friends and, as a result, were also both his friend. the internet raised him. started playing drums when he was 10 on a low qual kit with low qual cymbals that his parents got him for christmas, but literally why would you get a beginning a good set? continued playing. eventually moved to los angeles and tried to form many successful projects, but was too much of a roger waters. was summoned up here by the shadow man fucking around joakim. his greatest shame is how many ubers he has driven.

PERSONALITY INFO:

he will always say his proudest moment was when he learned how to play ‘toad’ by ginger baker cream all the way through.

big ginger baker fanboy.

loves the twilight zone and will just spill a random fact out about it every now and again.

a lowkey control freak which completely goes against the way he dresses and the vibe he gives off. 

is only a dick about it if you’re part of one of his ‘projects’ but aren’t taking it seriously tho :\

ok i’m too tired 2 write a personality section rn when im already rly bad at them but!! again!! feel free 2 j refer to the zodiac big three + the personality types!!

FEARS:

mannequins: they’re already creepy enough when you really think about it, then you add in that episode of the twilight zone where the characters wake up in an unfamiliar house and go outside and basically everyone is just a mannequin? ya he hates mannequins.

hitch-hikers: so, as we have just seen, he’s had it bad enough with people who were registered to an app, paying, their personal information readily available, etc., etc... so then what would happen if it was just a complete and utter stranger who didn’t have any personal information, any ping, and was the sole focus of a different twilight zone episode? he... is going... to drive past you. he’ll feel bad about it, but...

dying with nothing to show: here’s the money shot! here’s the deep fear! as has been shown throughout, isaac craves success and some form of a legacy. if he dies with nothing to show for his life, then was his life ever worth it in general?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, it might be bc im tired rn,,, but i have the most basic list that will hopefully be updated tomorrow bc it is SO VERY BASIC:

friends

fwb

ons

exes

enemies (much easier to get on his bad side than it is w/ fluke)

BRAINSTORMING AND/OR SOMETHING FROM YOUR WANTED CONNECTIONS AND/OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE AN IDEA FOR!!!!

[cockbiteproductions]

you know i'm coming in with the request for Prime Numbers

i have to google if 1 is a prime number or not Every Single Time i think about prime numbers. it is not. maybe i will remember that one day.

this ended up being a bit long so i’ll put it under a readmore.

2: Favorite book?

sorry but i don’t know how to read....... again.... no favorite book. very sorry but all i read is fic. but the most recent book i read was never let me go by kazuo ishiguro which i enjoyed. english class got me reading books man. i’ve read like 5 of these fuckers this semester. one of my favorite fanfics ever is atlas by distractedkat i guess. and swinging pendulum by cywscross but that one is incomplete. i read ghettoside a true story of murder in 11th grade and liked that a lot. again, not a favorite. just a book i enjoyed.

3: Favorite fictional character?

just one? just one??? if it’s just One it’s ahsoka tano...... she man..... just She. close runner up is jared kleinman though tbh. he’s really shot up in the rankings. very different characters but i love them both very much. well the Similarities are the snark / sarcasm. ahsoka is like. role model material. and wife material. and like. unabashedly badass and strong through hardship and brave and just. cool as hell. child me growing up watching tcw was like oh my god i want to be her. jared is more like. oh god i relate to this disaster man. 

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

again..... just one? i know ship means like. romantic relationship. but fuck that. my favorite relationship is the weird brother/sister father/daughter relationship anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano have going on. man. just. Them. if i had to pick romantic relationship uh i guess currently it’s evan hansen and jared kleinman. (it’s the tragedy. i’m a fan of unhappy endings ok... the only thing i like more than an unhappy ending is a banger fix it fic. get the Ouch of the unhappy ending in comparison to the happy ending. + time travel so an in canon character Knows about the unhappy ending and gets to experience the good one? good shit.... im on a tangent.)

7: List 3 negative traits you have

- lazy. i do nothing every day all day......

- coward. I Be Scared.

- clingy. still thinking about that time an ex friend said i was too annoying bc i talked to them too much. rip. thanks for being my source of anxiety whenever i think i’m talking to people too much now.

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

i just generally lose contact with people. i can only recall ever making a conscious decision to cut someone out of my life a few times ever. once was winter/spring of last year when a friend of mine was a real ass to me. but a lot of the time i intentionally distance myself because of [do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep] and i didn’t go to sleep.

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

“cemeteries never do provide the answers of the questions to inside” from velociraptor by joe iconis

“we find the solution to escape our fate. it lies in the equal distribution of our weight.” from last on land by joe iconis.

“i tried to give her something real but all she wanted was a show. and i’m not much of a jester, seems i’m more like a clown. i try, everything and anything to paint my face and blow up a balloon but there was no air left to give. it left me long ago.” from don’t love her anymore by maria wirries.

“you lead with your heart and i’ll lead with my heart (let’s talk it out) and we’ll talk it out, let’s talk it out.” from talk it out by asia kate dillon.

“and it ain’t just about the blood. shout out to the families that’s families cause of love.” from family by roman banks.

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

what a question........ i’d like a donut right now. i have donuts and they’re in the kitchen but i am sitting on the couch and don’t feel like moving. so a donut in my hand right now. that’d be nice. or i’d wish for this couch to be more comfy. oh wait. i’d like to wish for pandemic over.

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

don’t have to deal with heartbreak if you never heart broken in the first place [rollsafe.jpg]. uh but for real, really badly. i just don’t deal with it for months at a time and then end up crying for like a solid 2-3 hours straight when i finally think about it a bit too much. and then repeat. and then eventually i get over it. it works pretty well except for the times where i am crying for 2-3 hrs at a time.

27: What helps you realize that you have a crush on someone?

misread this question as “what helps you when you realize you have a crush on someone” and was quite confused for a moment. uh i would like to think i am pretty self aware, so i realize it pretty quickly. but it basically boils down to I Actively Look Forward to talking to them. which also applies to like friends though. idk man i crush on a lot of people for like 10 minutes and then get over it just as quickly. i guess the difference between the 10 minute crushes and the people who fuck me up is like. my time investment in this person. how often i spend thinking about them when i am not interacting with them + how much i interact with them. oH no i realized after typing all this that 3*9 is 27 oops. oh well you get an extra answer.

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

only if they let it. if the person thinks its important and spends a fair amount of time learning about it then they’ll probably internalize some of it. i mean it’s like that thing about names influencing the kind of person people become except names are things everyone pays attention to and is actually relevant.

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

sleeping in or taking a nap. which i do. a lot. and should do now. it’s 1:30 am. i just love being unconscious. no thoughts head empty time. temporary death. no dealing with anything. blanket soft.

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

no not really. i have to have expectations that are differed from to be surprised. my lack of like. awareness about my place in people’s lives means i don’t really expect people to stick around or plan for that. which sounds sad but it’s just not something i really think about. really it’s that expectation bit. i don’t think about it so i don’t have any expectations so i’m not surprised.

41: How do you show you care?

caring about people is for losers. insert sunglasses face emoji. uh generally just telling someone about [something that reminded me of them] or sending someone something i think they’d appreciate like a song or meme or whatever.

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

sloth. im a lazy fucker. if i could not do anything forever i might. or maybe gluttony but not for food. for like. things that make me happy. overindulgence in media when i should be doing other things. i have no self control. see below.

47: What are you passionate about?

very generally, fiction. the amount of time i invest in thinking about or consuming [fiction, fan generated or otherwise] is honestly ridiculous. stories are just cool man. escapism babey!

[byeolstudy]

questions

very gracias for tagging me mary @tempus-fugit-so-study

rules: answer the questions and then tag 20 people!

LAST:

1. Drink: strawberry water 

2. Phone call: my music teacher trying to recruit me for band ahaha

3. Text message: my friend morgan -- i had got this really hilarious photo of her while she was jumping into the pool

4. Song you listened to: save me (bts)

5. Time you cried: i cry everyday over fictional characters, but the last real cry i guess was over a year ago

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: no (cause you know, one comes before two and i havent ever)

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: sadly

10. Been depressed: i have SAD :/

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. light cyan

13. emerald green

14. lavender

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: definitely

16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of crushes, yes, but definitely not love

17. Laughed until you cried: the happy marauder stories

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes (i found the one where someone truly believed i was the devil very comical)

19. Met someone who changed you: everyone i’ve met changed me, some more than others

20. Found out who your friends are: i’d say yes but there are days when i feel as if i dont know where i belong

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: definitely not

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

23. Do you have any pets: unfortunately no (just wait until i reach Adulthood)

24. Do you want to change your name: yeah, but hannah’s okay too. i just want to change my korean name

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i usually dont celebrate my birthday, but my friends surprised me with a mini party. it was the most thoughtful thing anyone ever did for me

26. What time did you wake up: 5:30 am. i couldnt sleep

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: stargazing bc mentioned above couldnt sleep

28. Name something you can’t wait for: for school to start, to meet my new korean school students, to actually get my hands on sheet music

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: few hours ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could be kinder and a better shoulder for others. and to be more decisive with who i am and what i want to be

31. What are you listening to right now: my bts playlist

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: read about one, does that count (happened to be a mass murderer but let’s overlook that)

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: all the fakeness that surrounds me wherever i go. its always there 

34. Most visited websites: fanfiction.net, tumblr, duolingo, daum

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME.

35. Mole/s: yes

36. Mark/s: as in birthmark? no

37. Childhood dream: to be a teacher

38. Hair color: dark brown

39. Long or short hair: it’s kinda in the middle haha

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no

41. What do you like about yourself: the spark i feel when i teach, even though it’s not like im an official teacher or anything

42. Piercings: ears, done when i was an infant

43. Blood type: b 

44. Nickname: mochi, kimbap, wonder-kim, publicist kim

45. Relationship status: single (and it will stay that way)

46. Zodiac: sagittarius

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: reply 1988, fight for my way, lookout (oh the tears)

49. Tattoos: nope, though i did want a very deathly hallows sign. not sure about that

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: nope

52. Hair dyed in different colour: never, but my sister’s trying to convince me

53. Sport: not that athletic, but somewhat active competitive swimmer and this year i qualify for the mini ski competitions at the ski resort i go to (not as much anymore, since i’m packed with preschool volunteer work)

54. no question??

55. Vacation: kings cross, to see platform 9 3/4

56. Pair of trainers: Nike

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i had a sandwich 12 hours ago

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: go to bed

61. Waiting for: my stationery order filled with gifts for friends, school to start, ski season to begin

62. Want: to fully read the hp series again (which i cant since my mom threw out my copy and it’s been like four years and ahhh my potterhead soul is unhappy lol)

63. Get married: probably not. i’d probably end up adopting children and pouring my all into them

64. Career: i’ve always wanted to be either a biology professor or an early education teacher. both education careers i guess

65. Hugs or kisses: smiles

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: shorter

68. Older or younger: younger most of the time with friends and family, older when im doing the things i love

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ... my stomach and arms are great the way they are, so yeah?

71. Sensitive or loud: i tend to be both, depending on the situation

72. Hook up or relationship: yeah, just like mary, friendship sounds great.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both, there are times en i channel my inner james potter and sirius black

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: ummm no and probably never ever during my time 

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: blind as a bat so i end up holding on to them for life, can’t ever lose them

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: um no

79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope not

80. Had your heart broken: thanks james and lily. and sirius. and remus. and basically all of the marauders era children that got killed (wHYYYYYYYYYYYY)

81. Been arrested: nope, and i hope it stays like that cause jail doesnt sound cozy

82. Cried when someone died: do the marauders count

83. Fallen for a friend: once (and i’ll regret that forever)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: nope

85. Miracles: i think its more of a you get what you give sort of thing

86. Love at first sight: only in books

87. Santa Claus: i have to pretend i do for the sakes of the little children i teach

88. Kiss on the first date: no date in the first place ahahaha

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: mary, lusineh, yootae, pirate slime, aryaan, aren, james potter, sirius black, remus lupin, lily evans, marlene mckinnon, mary macdonald, dorcas meadowes

91. Eye color: brown

92. Favorite movie: all-time it’s the hp series and wonder woman. those two have a special spot in my heart.

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: @architstudy @whenstudyblooms @maryberrystudy @iris-is-studying @headgirlstudy​ and anyone else who wants to do this!!

[juuuliaw]

DEH Beach Day Headcannons

- Connor drives because Evan gets anxious when driving, Jared didn't pass his driving test, Zoe is too young, and Alannah would hog the aux - Connor isn't exactly a good driver but he isn't as bad as they all thought - but he goes 90 MPH down the highway, until Evan starts fReAkiNg OuT - it's a 2 hour drive and Evan gets shotgun, leaving an unhappy Jared squished in the backseat with Zoe and Alannah - Jared wears total tourist clothes, with a Hawaiian print shirt and bathing suit shorts - Evan wears a swim shirt bc he's insecure af,,, - Connor wears a muscle t and aviator glasses, of course with the man bun -Alana wears a one piece and jean shorts yet slays it - Zoe is v fashionable, with a bikini, sunhat, and flowey coverup -when they actually get to the board walk Jared tries to flirt with all the girls (and guys) but they all give him weird looks exCEPT for this one guy and it boosts jareds ego for the rest of the day - connor glares at any guy who even looks at Zoe - Yes, connor and Evan are dating oc and Evan sticks v close to connor bc social anxiety and shit - they check into a hotel, having gotten a suite using the murphys money bc they're rich af - Jared gets v upset that he has to share a room with Evan and connor because "Zoe and alannah get to share a king sized bed while I'm stuck with the fucking love birds in a room with only two fucking queen sized beds" - Jared ends up leaving to sleep on the couch the moment Evan and connor get into bed because "you're making me more gay" // (connor) "dude you are pan" // (Jared) *flips them off, grudgingly grabbing blankets* - they get breakfast in the hotel before heading to the beach - Jared continues to flirt - they get a speaker and play music and its lit - Zoe and Alanna turn to tanning - Jared lounges in a chair, while connor sits under the umbrella, not wanting to spontaneously combust into flames because he's hella pale - Evan is salty bc there are no trees at the beach - Jared throws seaweed at him and says it's just like a sea tree - Evan draws little patterns in the sand - connor peacefully reads a book - Zoe falls asleep tanning and nearly gets burned - they all have to drag Jared into the water - connor keeps dunking everyone - Alanna and Zoe get in a splash fight until they accidentally splash an old guy - its legit a beautiful beach day and the water is super calm - Alanah and Zoe float on tubes, until Jared flips them over - connor and Evan have to retrieve the tubes before they float away - they all go to surf taco for lunch but Jared insists on getting playa bowl so he can have a cute Instagram picture - Evan of course gets sunburnt, even though he kept on applying sun screen, because it turned out it was tanning oil - Jared laughs his ass of while Zoe desperately tries to find sun screen - alannah legit wont get out of the water - they go to the boardwalk that night - Jared is salty af because he had to go on the Ferris wheel alone - but then he finds a hot guy to sit next to - evan actually really likes rides?!2??!1! - they head back to the hotel - Jared insists on renting a movie - they all pass out from exaustion halfway through - when they wake they have to leave - but not before eating a shit ton of PANCAKES - jared claims they got the breakfast especially for him - evan is confused - jared wriggles his eyebrows - "PANcakes" - connor slaps him - and Jared getting the guy from the ferris wheel's number - they get home, sunburnt and exhausted - and pass out at the Murphy's ((Thanks to @im-absquatulating for editing this lol bc I suck at legit posts))

[stankykrotch]

I fucking miss you but I just want you to be happy .Live your life to your full potential I know you'll do great things .Ive accepted the fact that I'll never get over you but sometime in the future I will have to move on.I know I should have done that months ago but I truly did love you,I just wish I showed it more.Everyday I regret letting you get away from me,I should have tried harder but you deserve someone who gives you their 100 percent all the time .I know I have personal problems and I hate that I let them interfere in our relationship and most importantly our friendship.Its embarrassing how long it took for me to realize all of this but I wish you could see how much I've changed for the better .I got the experience I needed so I'm getting a better paying job I have my interview soon.I borrow my dads car but I'm saving up to buy my own car.I learned to love myself little by little everyday .Im not saying this to get you back but maybe you still care if I'm okay or not.I wish I could hear how you're doing but to be honest I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet .I hate that I think about you everyday because in my heart you're still my baby girl but I know that's not the case anymore .I accept the fact that losing you was the biggest mistake of my life but it also gave me that push that I so desperately needed .Ive never been affected by anything so much in my life but I guess that's just how the world goes.I don't blame you for anything I just wish we could have actually tried to work things out but it just wasn't the right time.I don't expect anything from you you e done so much more than anyone has done for me in my life .Ive never been so spoiled as I was with you and I'm not talking about the money you would waste on my ungrateful self but the love you gave me.You made me feel genuine happiness and I could never repay you for that.I don't know if I ever told you but before we met I was in a deep slump I wasn't happy and It was a stressful time for me but when I met you it's like all my problems disappeared.The whole year we spent together I never once felt depressed,alone or unwanted and I can't explain to you how much that means to me.I was so in love with you that I didn't see that you were unhappy but now that I realize what I've done it's too late.Its too late now .Time passes so slow when you're alone but you know I'll be fine I'm always fine .Youll always be my baby girl and i will forever cherish the memories we made together.From our first date when I felt love at first site,the times we would go to ikea and talk about our future home together,our trip to LA that was the best week of my life,and the countless times we would get boba together.I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do but I don't think you will because if only you knew how much I truly loved you.Regardless of what I feel you deserve to be happy and be with whoever you want.Someone told me that we were perfect for each other but we just met at the wrong time .I guess that could be true but you still helped me with some of the most important parts of my young life.You were always so far ahead of everyone you're the smartest,sweetest,hard working and most beautiful girl there is and I'm proud to have been able to call you my first love.I heard a lot about your past before I even knew who you were and I regret not treating you the way you deserved to be treated.All the guys before me were assholes who didn't care about you but hopefully you never deal with guys like that again.Know your worth Maia you are beautiful person inside and out.I wish you could see what I saw when I looked at you.Im sorry for all the stupid things I did like being so jealous,walking away from you at Evans house ,not showing you off the way you deserved,I'm sorry for even caring about your social media,but most of all I'm sorry for not giving you my full potential.Its funny but all the cheesy shit that people say always makes the most sense.You never know what you have until you lose it.I know this is a lot and I don't think you'll ever read any of the stuff I write on here ever again but it's really just a way for me to vent since no one truly listens.Im sure there's more on my mind but I can't think right now .I just want you to know that I still love you and I always will but all I want is for you to be happy even if it isn't with me anymore .Thank you for everything I truly mean it.i fucking miss you freckles. Be happy and do what you want in life and you'll get far. I love you.