#the phrasing of this post is killing me.

[jay-catsby]

i love the tumblr for you page because first of all. no other site has an algorithm that boosts posts that have gotten zero engagement. and second of all it lets me know that there are apparently people in this world who have been transplanted in time from the late-2000s deviantart glory days of blatantly asking creators to do work for free

[ghostzzy]

inspired by kitkat @crimeronan's codependency poll, here's a codependency poll of my own, featuring dynamics from my ocs <3

[griem]

ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.

#opinion 😱 in tags

[scholarhect]

wait stop the fucking presses this is major

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

obsessed with this sentence. “she wore jewelry more than once, it has to mean something deeper.” ???????? necklaces etc are not typically considered single use!!

[slasherscream]

really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have

[euyrdice]

You and your Kise posts kill me so gently. I love your musings on him. He’s such a complex character, even if sometimes I think he’d laugh it off and say he’s an open book.

lovely beloved thank you for this message!!! 🥹🥹 i really enjoy studying and discussing kise, and i am so glad you've enjoyed my thoughts on him <333 thank you so much for taking time to tell me know you do!!! it makes me super happy to hear!!! :-) <333 💌💐💕

i love that i’m known for my silly kise post :-) hes really fun to muse about, right? hes so complex as you said; theres just soo much to him!!!

i think you’re totally right- he would just laugh it off and light-heartedly insist on his transparency. which has some truth to it, because he certainty is open about certain things! he often doesn't show hesitance/reluctance to truthfulness ab certain things, esp when it comes to basketball. he tells kuroko to "be honest with himself," shamelessly tells kasamatsu he only cares about beating aomine during the gakuten tou game, has a flippancy with kagami at their first meeting (of course, kagami starts the fire a bit himself fdjsf) and openly questions the others skill, and easily tells midorima that if kise were playing in the shotuko v kaijo game, kaijo would have won. he's terribly honest when he wants to be!

anywho!!!! please talk with me anytime! i would absolutely love to hear any of and all ur your thoughts on him!!!

[blujayonthewing]

I can't tell you how strongly I feel about this

[spoonyruncible]

I'm not gatekeeping, I just have some gates and I've sort of vaguely known they're there, I haven't kept them and the hinges are so rusty i doubt they'd close if I tried. But, like, for ages all that came through those gates were stray geese and a dog I think belongs to a neighbor but might just belong to himself and of course there's the hunching afflicted wrathbeast. That's just having a garden. Things grow there and random folks stumble in sometimes, mispronounce the names of my favorite varietals, say stunningly inaccurate things about them, and wander bemusedly back out.

As a surprise to probably no one I was a deeply lonely child. No one really got me or what my deal was, so when I found something I loved it was mine and mine alone to treasure. As I got older I found other people who liked 'my' things. Some of those people were horrible! But there was a kinship and it was okay to be a bit horrible so long as we could be odd together. Gardens are resilient things, they tolerate mistakes and abuse. It's absolutely wonderful to share, to dance to the same music, that imperfection becomes part of the joy of it, becomes a unique thing unto itself.

So imagine my shock when there is a garden party that rapidly becomes a festival. No one has ever really been here before, it's been me and the geese and that one dog and a few other weirdos. Suddenly my things, things people beat me for loving, are things everyone loves. All at once the landscape is unrecognizable and if I acknowledge that then I'm being a hipster. I don't mind the festival, it's nice, now it's much easier to get things I need without having to put on my trekking gear and hike out to the one obscure location that has The Supplies. It's not bad, it's just weird. It feels like there is something wrong with me instead of something wrong about liking what I like.

I'm not really talking about one specific thing here, there have been a lot of these moments where what used to be unusual or even shameful is now the big thing. And it's good, it's can be great sometimes even with the unforeseen bizarre bad parts. But there is this selfish little part of me that wants to cling to my unloved love, to put a raggedy LP on a barely working record player and lay on the wooden floor of my childhood home staring at a painting of a ship in a storm that is right beside a picture of a young man in a cap and a too large jacket and listen to sea shanties belted out by people not very good at singing while I drift and drift and drift away on the sound and the whitecaps to a place where there is only this. I love the new versions like a drowning man loves air, I am happy that people have found this beautiful thing and can enjoy it, but there is a tinge to it I don't like. A prick of pain every time I see this joy over my joy, over my joy that I was punished for, humiliated for, shamed for. I'm glad people can love these things without suffering but it makes my suffering seem so fucking stupid.

There is a certain temptation, a bitter agony, that makes me want to hiss like an abused cat and cling jealous to my silly little toys. It's not that I want them all for myself, it's that I can't let go of that little kid with a bruisy eye sulking because no one wants to play with him. It's the whisper of, "We can be friends but only in secret. I don't want people to know I'm like you." It's the enthusiasm that rapidly becomes muted because the whole world is demanding to know why you can't just be normal for once. But that same temptation to lash out is the one that makes me reach out my hand instead, especially to people who are like, "Wow! I've never been to a garden before. I'm gonna screw this up. How do I not screw it up?" because now they're that bruisy eyed kid no one wants to play with. I can't protect the person I used to be by becoming the exact thing that hurt me. Gotta keep the gate open, gotta get used to new things even if it takes noise cancelling headphones and an entirely rational amount of backsliding, gotta wake up every day and keep trying even though the world keeps throwing curveballs that no sane person could anticipate. It's all okay. We're in this together and we're all gonna be okay,

[takekawa]

You can't just say words at me obscurify

[spurious]

fic writer 20 questions

I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain & @nimuetheseawitch to do this one!

How many works do you have on AO3? 108. I need to add some ficlets to my collection but I've been slacking a bit on that, so.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 274,716

What fandoms do you write for? Star! Gate! At! Lan! Tis! The hyperfixation is strong ok. It's the thing that shook loose my half-decade dormant desire and ability to write, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Twenty Questions, 248 kudos 2. Ink and Wings, 221 kudos 3. Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers, 190 kudos 4. Solitary in a Wide Flat Space, 163 kudos 5. Abercrombie & Rodney, 151 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I really try to!!! One of the things that was not good about posting all my ficlets onto AO3 in quick succession was ending up with more comments than I could handle, so now I have a...backlog. Getting comments makes me feel so good though, and I just...want to honor the effort made with some of my own in return? Idk, I've talked about this a fair bit in a handful of posts but I'm just really not used to the amount of interaction I get in SGA fandom and I still feel.......very blessed lmao. Bleh sincerity on main how gross

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? We Are Standing On the Edge, a Jin/Kame fic about a road trip and the apocalypse which I wrote for @merionettes in a fic exchange in 2010.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics either have happy endings or implied happy endings? I like making good things happen to the characters I love so much. Sometimes after making bad things happen to them, but. At any rate, O I Think We Should Be Brethren is my personal happiest ending because of how long and hard a journey it is to get there.

Do you get hate on fics? I got a hate comment once, on the (in)famous Kanjani Cannibalism Fic.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Do I ever! I like to write kinky sex as a means of exploring and facilitating vulnerability. I also like to write blowjobs.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've never written a crossover! ..............I don't think, at least.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A couple of my Johnny's fics have been translated into Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not to completion.

What’s your all time favorite ship? Yokohina, Sakura/Syaoran, McShep...don't make me choose between my children like this??? Sakura/Syaoran literally invented romance for my teenage self, like I am not kidding at how formative of a ship that was for me in my life. Also why I started learning Japanese, so. Yokohina will forever be beloved to me in the same way that Kanjani8 will forever be beloved to me, in a way that is (literally) tattooed into my flesh, in a way that influenced my life massively, in so many aspects. I will never not be thirsty for the two of them saying weirdly romantic things about each other in public forums, for them being the solid foundation upon which their group is built. For Yoko being a pigtail-pulling twelve year old boy towards Hina even as they're in their mid-forties. AND THEN THERE'S FUCKING MCSHEP. A ship that I knew about when it was popular and brushed off as an Any Two White Guys, Migratory Slash Fandom Thing. A ship that, when my wife and I started watching SGA, we said "haha wouldn't it be so funny if we ended up being all in on mcshep?" A ship that resonates in my heart in the most bizarrely intense way and shook loose the desire to write and create from its atrophied place in the back of my head. I love them. I hate them. They're perfect.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have about 25k of a later-years yokohina friends to FWB to lovers fic that I wish I could finish but the McShep brainrot is.........so strong. On the other hand, never say never?

What are your writing strengths? haha so much harder to answer this than weaknesses!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I can write good funny dialogue, which is amazing to me because when I started writing my dialogue was horrendous, just absolutely awful and stilted and I hated writing it so much! like it was a running joke between me and my best friend at the time that I could not write anything that sounded even remotely natural or like real human speech. guess that shows that practice makes perfect or whatever? idk.

What are your writing weaknesses? endings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ensemble casts/scenes with more than two people in them. plots more complex than simple romantic contrivance.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? nah. It always feels a bit fanfiction.net anime fandom to me?

First fandom you wrote for? speaking of fanfiction.net anime fandom....I wrote Sakura/Syaoran angstfic into a notebook when I was 13. The first things that I actually shared with other people were either Harry Potter or the fics I wrote about the boys at my church who were just unnecessarily homoerotic with each other in the way that only teenage church boys can be (iykyk)

Favorite fic you’ve written? guess. 🙃

Tagging: @sga-owns-my-soul @stargayatlantis @hearteyesmcgarrett @texasdreamer01

[altoskh]

Yeah you can draw or write or create whatever you want. I also get to think you're fucking weird if you go "what if this character went through brutal SA"

[poisoned-pearls]

you know, Idk if I have to say it, but, cut off those people who drain you. You shouldn’t always have to text first, your friendship shouldn’t end because you stopped talking.

And I know it sucks, that feeling of crippling loneliness. But when shit was absolutely the worst for me, when everything had fucking crashed and burned, I met a few people who finally reminded me what it meant to have someone care, and you’ll get it soon

[voidfishing]

[damnedifivoodoo]

sometimes can't tell if I'm going through a sex-averse phase or if people on my dash are just horny in an aggressively boring way

[aweisz]

it may have just occured to me that my inability to word things most of the time is not a funny haha thing but a possible problem. uh