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communicationthroughlyrics · 1 year

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I Like Your Blood On My Teeth Just A Little Too Much - 1

You're a former military, career oriented security executive who has made quite the living for yourself- but it has always been lacking. Your non-committal attitude has led you down a playgirl lifestyle, never really settling. What happens when your new boss throws you a curveball, and as a result? You end up hopelessly involved with a Hollywood starlet.

Here it is, the first story. Chapter numero uno. No smutty stuff yet, but it'll be incoming. If y'all like it, I'll keep posting. It will be a series. A long one, the plot needs to thicken. Bonus points if you can tell where the lyrics are from XD

3K Word Count

Chapter One- Are You At One, Or Do You Lie?

You stood on a patio, gripping your fresh mug of coffee as you gazed out towards the vast landscape that lay to the front of you. Sleep had eluded you all night, and when the decision had finally been made that you weren’t going to receive a restful slumber- you groggily made your way to the kitchen of mountain home for a source of fuel. Bundled in your favorite zip up hoodie and some fleece lined sweatpants, you made a strong cup of coffee and slowly made your way to the best part of the home (at least, to you).

This place you called home was far from most’s idea of humble and conservative, but to you it was a dream, and it was the perfect place to escape your tiny city apartment. Those who you trusted enough to bring here, upon their first visit could not believe that the slummy 600 sqft. apartment you slept in within city limits belonged to the same person who owned this chateau. It was easily ten times the size, housed your selection of transport handily- and allowed you to tinker and build to your hearts desire- in your free time.

Free time was a concept that had eluded you the past 8 months. This was the first time you had been able to escape the demanding requests of what allowed you such luxuries- your job that you had once loved. It allowed you to live this lifestyle of multiple residences, cars of your dreams, and a comfortable living since your early graduation from college, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of gratitude for that. Of late, the very job you swore you owed your happiness and gratitude for had completely drained you of all satisfaction you once held. The switch to a new management company and new bosses has made your life a living hell, and you were simply exhausted. You had spent the last year helping to roll everything over for this new ownership group, working tirelessly and many times staying at your corner office in a posh downtown Los Angeles high-rise, sleeping on the sofa that sat across desk.

Being a high ranking executive officer for a government-trusted security firm, you saw everything. The early exit from college sent you straight to the military- quickly earning the respect of all around you, and you worked the ranks within your 6 years in the US Army as fast as anyone ever had- particularly for a woman. Holding the title of a three star general was sheer insanity, with which no one thought it was a possibility to obtain a rank that high, that quickly- not without the drama and rumors, at least. That is what made you discharge with honors, quickly accepting your current position as the Chief Executive to Internal Affairs, which was a fancy way of saying you were in charge of the clean-up. You handled all internal affairs, information leaks, and other messes that someone’s lackadaisical attitude or poor judgment had created. You were also a secret weapon, of sorts. Many mistook your title as one where your hands never got dirty, you would have someone handle your “dirty work”. Oh, the fact that you handled it personally messed with many of the poor soul’s minds with whom you had to scour their mistakes and tie up any loose ends.

You were leaning up against one of the main support logs with your steaming cup, a timber that held the weight of a massive roofline, shielding your best mountain view from too much weather. The only lights on were the under cabinet lights in your kitchen, which was 30 or so feet behind you, behind a wall of glass that you demanded the house be built around. You had all but built the majority of the house yourself, the lack of control was too much- only contracting out the major structural aspects and work that was too involved for you to do alone. You had also purchased a fair amount of land surrounding your escape, to the tune of a few thousand acres. You wanted to ensure the utmost in privacy, and also security. Your career ensured that you made more than a lifetimes worth of enemies, as you more often than not cost them their jobs, at least.

Sometimes you cost people all but their lives, but made them wish you had just taken that instead. To this you had long since steeled your emotions to this, as it was a part of the business. The land included a large lake- so even on frigid night like tonight, you found solace in coming outside with something to warm your hands, while gazing at the reflection of the mountains and the nighttime sky reflecting in its calm waters, your boat barely moving against its dock. As you found yourself becoming more and more entranced by the view in front of you, the ever so slightly lightening of the sky before you and the vibration of the watch on your wrist told you that you needed to try and get at lest a few hours sleep, so you begrudgingly turned around, and placed the half empty mug of coffee in the sink, before slinking over to your sofa and flinging your exhausted form onto it, and turning into its back for a nap. Today was going to be a big day, so you needed some rest.

Your eyes opened right before your alarm went off on your cell phone, and you slowly sat up and groaned, muttering a “fuck” to yourself before standing up and stretching your sore body. You shuffled off to the master suite upstairs, quickly discarding the hoodie and sweatpants before walking into the shower to fire up its multitude of jets and shower heads with steaming water. You desperately needed to rinse off the lack of restful sleep and freshen up for your day. You grabbed a fresh towel from the linen cabinet that towered next to your side of the sprawling double vanity. The combination of wood and stone always calmed you- and it was evident in how this home was designed.

The shower you stepped inside of appeared as thought it had been cut out of a mountainside- with stone ledges holding all of your favorite soaps, shampoos and conditioners, and made you feel like you were showering in a waterfall. As the water cascaded and massaged at your aching form, you grabbed onto your soap of choice for the day, and lathered it all over your tattooed, chiseled body. Your parents had never been happy with your decision to tattoo the majority of your body, particularly the back of your neck. That had been the final straw of disappointment from you- they haven’t spoken to you since. Your childhood was highly conservative, as your dad was a southern, religious and military man himself, and your mom was the epitome of a housewife. She would bend to his opinion and will, as though she had no say of her own. While you deeply loved your mother, you could not stand to see how her opinions and values disappeared over time- being taken over by your strict fathers.

It’s not that you really mind that they cut you out- as you had always longed for your own sense of being, and hated living in your fathers shadow. The tattoos were at first seen as “acting out”, but they quickly realized that it went further than that, and you weren’t going to hear any of their disapproval regarding what you did with your body. The short hair dyed in any and every color, piercings that came and went, and ink were your way of displaying your current state. As you turned around to shut off the water, you reached out of the veil of steam that was flowing around the shower, and grabbed the towel hung on a convenient rack just on the outside of the showers walls, made to look like dead wood. You peered over at the large mirror, slicking back the dark brown and blonde streaked hair, leaning on the counter to truly see how exhausted you look. “You look like hell, Y/L/N.” You say to yourself in the mirror, before carrying on with your morning routine.

Opting for a navy blue pinstripe suit, with a black button up, you mussed your hair in the mirror, giving it your signature tousled look, before turning to weave the brown belt through the loops around your trim waist. You grabbed the matching pair of brown shoes out of your walk in closet, and slipped them onto your feet before turning and looking at your appearance in the mirror. You had always been an athletic kid, and the myriad of sports you were involved in growing up allowed you the luxury of a muscular build on your tall frame. You weren’t insanely tall, average for your family, but taller than most. You looked down as your watch vibrated on your wrist, reminding you that you needed to leave soon- otherwise your commute to work would take you past your typical start time, which was not the impression you wanted to set for the new bosses. You quickly spun around on the hardwood floor, grabbing your cologne from the wooden shelf, and spraying it onto your pulse point and wrists before grabbing the keys hanging below and making your way out of the bedroom and towards the other wing of your house- where all your toys were kept.

Typically you wouldn’t escape unless you had at least a few days to spend here, as this was seriously out of your way for a commute to work. But you needed the respite. Work had been abnormally stressful for you, as you were planning for a massive undertaking at work- a new security project that required the best of the best- so you were “volunteered” to be the only person for this mystery operation. You arrived in the warehouse of vehicles that were varying degrees of extravagance- from classic cars to modern exotics, you had your bases covered. You walked past them all, climbing a spiral staircase the the opposite end of the garage, and opening a hefty steel door and walking out to your helicopter. Your days in the military afforded you many things- a pilots license being one of them. You quickly climbed inside, placing the headset hanging from the ceiling next to you onto your head, and grabbing the aviator sunglasses on the seat next to you before switching all the necessary toggles and firing up the machine. You announced your presence to the nearby air traffic control tower- located in the neighboring city, before gently pulling the joystick between your legs and slowly raising the vehicle off of the ground, and up towards the city. The two hour flight to work would be plenty of time for you to get your mind into work mode.

You swiftly landed the helicopter on the rooftop of your workplace, only to be greeted by your new boss, as well as your assistant, Kris, waiting for you a safe distance off of the helipad. You hopped out of the copter, re-buttoning the top buttons of your pinstripe blazer, and walking towards the pair. Kris gently smiled your way, handing you a large cup of coffee, for which you were thankful. You nodded her way, raising your eyebrows so they could just be seen above your glasses as you too a sip of the liquid, then letting out a long sigh after swallowing the drink.

“Thank you.” You spoke quietly, and turned to your direct supervisor to shake his hand.

“Y/L/N. Good Morning, we have a lot to do today. I hope you are prepped and ready.” He lifted his head slightly, as he tried to make it like he was taller, so he could look down towards you.

“Yessir. I’ve been prepared for the last two months, sir.” You replied curtly as he turned and stalked back to the doorway that would descend back down to the executive level of the office.

“You look like shit, Y/N…” Kris whispered to you as you both walked behind your boss, a slight look of worry on her face. She had been one of the first people you met after you discharged from the military, and moved to Los Angeles. You had actually gotten her this job as your new assistant as she was one of the few you knew you could trust, and your former assistant had kept trying your patience and trust. She was dressed up more than usual, wearing a tight black pencil skirt, that fell just below her knees. It was slightly split up the back, and allowed you the slightest view of her toned thighs. She wore a dark green blouse, and her blonde hair was wrapped up in a bun, with her black glasses framing her piercingly grey eyes. That was the first thing you had noticed about the woman when you first met- how her eyes seemed to be so colorless, yet full of emotion. You both had tried the whole relationship thing- but with your lack of comfort within yourself to fully admit you were gay, and years of pretending you weren’t, being in the military and with your conservative parents- you had both decided that you couldn’t be together, but were mature enough to recognize that you both were good friends, and wouldn’t let the failed attempt ruin your friendship. But, the brief glimpse beyond your hardened, tattooed exterior allowed her to read you like a fucking book. And you hated it.

“Thanks, Sherlock.” You smirked over your coffee cup, as you approached the elevator to take you down towards your office.

“You’re working too much.” She stated flatly.

“No, I’m only doing what is necessary.” You state, and she rolls her eyes as you peel the glasses off your face, setting them on top of your hair. You briefly glance her direction to notice she rolls her eyes at you before the doors ding open, leading you towards a long marble lined hallway flanked by frosted glass doors and windows. You both walked towards the door that led you to your office.

“You never fly to McCall unless you can stay for a period of time. You flew there to stay the night? That’s not like you.” She was walking in front of you to be able to open the door before you approached it.

“Yeah, so? It’s my house. I can go if I want. What made you so sure I went there in the first place?” You asked pointedly, not meaning to come out that rude as you crossed the threshold to your office.

“Your car was still in the parking garage when I left last night. I came back up to check on you, but you were gone. I went upstairs and the heli was gone.” She narrowed her eyes in your direction. She always warned you not to burn the candle at both ends, but you did it anyways.

“You don’t need to check on me. I’m a grown ass woman, I will do what I need to for my job.”

“Y/N, this isn’t about work. You need to take care of you.” She spits back pointedly, before spinning on her heels and walking back out the door towards her office next door. You sighed, rubbing your hands on your face, before removing the blazer adorning your shoulders, and unbuttoning the cuffs to your black dress shirt, allowing you to slightly roll up the sleeves to show some of your inked skin. The holster you wore on your hip that housed your work pistol came off, to be sat next to your on your desk. You sat rather heavily into your large leather chair, taking a deep breath and opening your laptop to begin checking your emails.

You scrolled through every email, skimming them over, deleting the unnecessary ones, forwarding ones to Kris that she could handle, and finally your eyes fell upon the email you knew was coming. There was an attachment that was rather large, and you had to print it off before slipping it into a file and making your way towards the board room two floors down. You heard Kris’s door open as you opted to go down the stairs instead, and opened the door to lead you down towards your next assignment. You took the opportunity to glance at the file as you swiftly descended the stairs, and right as you approached the door to the correct floor, it opened up- causing your eyes to dart up and be met with a discontent gaze of your best friend. You blankly stared back as you walked by her, and made your way to the board room.

“Did you read any of that file yet?” She asked, shuffling a little bit quicker to catch up with you.

“Some of it, yes. Why are the names redacted? I have the highest security clearance of anyone here.” You turned to your assistant, who shrugged her shoulders, narrowing her eyes as she reached for the folder, to open the pages and confirm what you had already stated. You approached the door to the boardroom, the occupants of the room were obscured by heavily frosted glass, but you could hear a faint conversation. Kris shrugged, not knowing why, and stepped around you, to grab the door and hold it open for you. As you step inside the room, your eyes glance from person to person, astutely taking in their demeanors as your gaze bounces from person to person. First, your bosses, who were starting at you expectantly, and then to the people in the room you had no clue of- except one.

“Are you ready to start, Y/L/N?” The owner of your company asked. Your eyes remained locked onto the blonde bombshell sitting at the far end of the table, surrounded by people you assume are her assistants. You sit down at the opposite end of the table, without breaking eye contact.

“I thought we were a government military contractor, not some for-hire security outfit.” You state coldly as you sat next to your boss. He glared back at you, giving you the impression that this was not the time.

“We’re not for hire. But when someone asks for the best, they ask for us- more specifically, you, Y/L/N.” He quipped back. “And I shouldn’t have to remind you, that in this business- money talks. Back to business,” He says pointedly in your direction, earning a smirk from both blondes in your presence.

(CHAPTER 2)

A/N: Nothing like making your boss call you out in a meeting, amiright? Let me know what you think!

#communicatethrulyrics #scarlett johansson x fem!reader #scarlett johansson x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #scarlett johansson #scarlett johansson x you #scarlett johannsen #wlw fanfic #ILYBOMTJALTM

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emwritesstuff · 9 months

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DYNAMO | Steve Rogers x Reader | part 4.

HYDRA has made their share of human experiments. You're just one of them. One of the least successful ones. One of the least functional ones. At least your life in the facility gave you a few things: unwavering resilience, cool(ish) superpowers and a great sense of humor. Steve Rogers would strongly disagree with that last one. A single chance encounter with him reluctantly brings you into the Avengers Compound, and you're determined to make his life as miserable as you can. Feeling's mutual.

AO3 | Masterlist | Playlist (coming soon!)

notes: You meet an old acquaintance on your first mission as a probationary Avenger. Tensions arise from multiple fronts. The plot thicken's y'all. (warnings: mentions of human experimentation, violence, cursing, sexual tension) (5.1K words)

4: ENTROPY

Fury uses a laser pointer to indicate a location on the holographic map. The Avengers are about to be sent on a mission, and for the first time you’re invited for the briefing. It’s not the worst thing they dragged you to. There are snacks, and you get to sit and not get your butt kicked. You’re only supposed to help with the details of the facility they’ll be breaking into. “Our drone intel says it’s been evacuated; it’s completely empty. Of people. I doubt they left the security system disarmed.”

You nearly choke on an Oreo when he continues. “Which means it’ll be simple enough that we can send Sparky here for a test drive.”

“No!”

“No.”

You scowl at Rogers when he echoes your word. It’s one thing for you not want to do this – another entirely for him not want you to.

Completely different things.

Still. You really don’t want to go. Especially not back there, no matter how much Fury insists.

“Look. I know it’s part of my pardon, or whatever, to be a Revenger, okay? But I thought it was just so the government could use me as a lab rat and keep me locked up inside this building, which I’m fine with, by the way, thanks Stark for the mini fridge—”

“Y’er welcome.” Tony is leaning all the way back in his chair, munching on a cookie-Reese’s Cup-cookie sandwich.

“But not missions, alright? I’m not going.”

“Unfortunately, little-battery-who-could, you have no choice.” Fury puts his hands on the table, and you look at him. He has dark circles under his eyes, and you wonder if they were just part of his look at this point. “Or, you do. S.W.O.R.D made a big investment in you. It’s time to show them why – or go to the Raft.”

Your jaw went slack. A big investment.

An investment. An Asset.

Your eyes roamed the others present at the meeting – Tony, Natasha, Sam – and Rogers. You felt betrayed, and stupid for feeling so; none of this should come as a surprise for you.

Hands clench at your sides, opening and closing, weighing your options. You didn’t want to go back. Getting out had been hard enough.

“The Raft it is.” In a flash you’re up and everyone is set in motion at the same time as you – certainly to stop you from causing damage to government property.

Fury manages to suggest you reconsider before you storm out, fingers sparking as your temple starts to throb.

It’s Sam Wilson who reaches you at the elevator, and you curse how slow that thing was despite the building being filled to the brim with advanced technology.

Not advanced enough to make quicker elevators, apparently.

“Wait up, kid. Fury has a point, you know.” Sam raises his hands in front of his chest when you give him a nasty look. “Not about the investment thing. About the test drive!”

You cross your arms against your chest. “I’m not a car.”

“I know, I know—”

Natasha joins him on your other flank, essentially cornering you against the elevator doors.

“You’ve been holding back during training, so this is the perfect opportunity to—”

“I’ve been holding back because of the side effects, not because I care about hurting any of you!” It’s a half-truth. The migraines, nosebleeds, dizziness and everything else are annoying as shit.

But after two-something months, you have started to look forward to Pizza Fridays, to yoga with Wanda and to help Tony on his eternal quest of annoying Steve Rogers.

And knowing all of this you just recently got was at stake, balanced precariously on your Avengers performance, was harrowing. Because there is no way in hell you’re going to do well.

You know yourself. You’re not a hero. Not even close.

You’re not wired for that kind of stuff.

“I don’t want this! I don’t want to be owned by the United States Government, or S.W.O.R.D or any other acronym puns they come up with next. I’m done with that.” The elevator opens just in time, and you slip into it, but not quick enough that the two can’t follow you inside.

“So are we.” Natasha says, and she leans in as if she has a secret. Maybe she does. She looks around like she wants to tell you, but can’t. “We all got to sign some sort of Devil’s Deal after the Sokovia Accords, and Steve’s was this place. But this, is all temporary.”

“What do you even mea—”

“You’ll know. But in the meantime, use all the resources you got at hand to find your missing files.” She holds you by the shoulders, and you blink. She has a point. She has an excellent point.

You had agreed to all this circus for a reason, after all. If they wanted to use you, you might as well use them too.

“And kick some Nazi butt as an added bonus, Sparky.”

You exhale heavily, punching the button of the floor the three of you just left from. “Don’t. Call me. Sparky.”

“And what exactly are the bangles for? Style points?”

“Are you done being a smartass? I’m gonna explain it—but I won’t if you keep this up.”

Rogers is leaning against the wall, an amused little smirk on his annoying face while Stark – the inventor – gives you a taste of your own attitude. “You can see your vitals on this little screen right here. See? And if your brain activity spikes towards the dangerous level, it’ll beep so you can stop yourself before you go Weekend at Bernie’s on us.”

Tony finishes securing the two metal bands around your wrists and makes you get up from your chair.

“I have no idea what that is. Is it a club? I wanna go.” Tony looks at you in shock.

Then he looks at Rogers in shock when he speaks up. “It’s a movie, did you really not see—”

“Does he have to be here?”

“—it? It’s a classic.”

“It is a classic! Thank you. I’m actually surprised he’s seen it and you haven’t, Sparks.”

You put on your hands on your hips. “I’ve been a little busy these past few years. You know, escaping? Sorry if I haven’t seen one stupid old movie.” Rogers crosses his arms as Tony looks at you in disappointment. Only you could get them to agree on something. Awesome. “Does he have to be here?”

“I’m waiting for Bucky to finish his thing.”

“What thing? Can’t you do some sudoku outside his door like any other centennial?”

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t answer, and Stark begins messing up with the software on your wristbands. On a screen you can see what you assume to be the 3D view of them, and as he works you can see your new accessories light up.

“Rogers. What thing?”

Before he can give some snappy response, Barnes himself appears on the door. “Deprogramming. Shuri comes once a month. Ready, Steve?”

You frown, another question ready at your lips, but Tony adds in. “For his murder words. Y’know, HYDRA’s favorite brainwashing technique?”

Steve scowls at Tony, but you don’t see it. You don’t see him clap Bucky on the shoulder, and say that he’s ready. You don’t see them both leave. You’re busy looking at your own hands.

The Wakandan scientist can do that?

Erase the programming from his mind, just like that?

“How—” They’re already gone when you look up. Tony is seemingly oblivious at the thoughts running a million miles per hour inside your head.

“Genius. That’s how. The bracelets are obviously not in your brain, but they can connect to your suit and give us the full body scans we need.”

“What? Wait.” You pause, just then registering what he had said. “My suit?”

“Yes, Sparky! You can’t go on a mission wearing those rags you call T-shirts.” You’re about to cuss him out when he asks FRIDAY to begin the grand reveal.

And grand it is indeed. A robotic hand descends, with a silver and dark grey tactical suit hanging neatly on it. It almost gleams under the fluorescent lights of the lab.

“Cool.”

“I know, I know. Don’t thank me yet though. It needs extra adjustments, but you can take this baby for a ride tomorrow. And we’ll fix whatever issues we find when you’re back.”

You have no words, and Tony knows it, looking at you smugly as you inspect the suit closely. It looks like it has the potential to… make you fit in. In a picture, at least.

The suit is really something. It has a set of lines on the torso, arms and legs that light up bright blue when you absorb electricity. It’s light and flexible. And it looks really good on you, as you find out the next morning.

Your butt looks exceptionally good in it, especially with the new set of muscle you’ve been building up. You spent a good five minutes staring at your rear in the mirror after you put it on.

“You look put together; I’m surprised.” Rogers said after you both entered the Quinjet, the first ones to arrive. He from his punctuality and you from sleeping very little the night before. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Thanks. Sorry I don’t have bloomers and a ballgown though, was running late this morning.” Giving him a sickly-sweet smile, you begin strapping yourself down on the farthest seat from him available.

Your hands are shaking as you fiddle with the many buckles – where’s Sam when you need him? – and it’s easy to say you’re a bundle of nerves. It’s not just the mission. It’s the destination. It’s the chances of it all going horribly wrong and going to the Raft being the best-case scenario.

You don’t even see Steve until he’s right on your face, yanking the buckles off your trembling fingers sternly, and looking at you through furrowed brows. “I don’t think your ensemble allows for the bloomers anyways,” He rasps, and you hold your breath from the proximity.

His eyes look like the sea during a storm from where you’re sitting, framed by perfectly thick eyelashes and expressive eyebrows. The smallest freckle on his cheek.

Fuck this dude. You had your seatbelts all under control.

“But for next time I’ll expect nothing less than a ballgown.”

He’s off you in an instant, and you snort at his little quip. “When did you grow a sense of humor?”

“Always had it. Sparky.”

And the moment’s ruined. You’re not a cat, but you feel like hissing at him. “Don’t—”

“Morning, children!” Tony enters the Quinjet like he owns it – he probably does – and with his arms up like he’s a popstar. One of them is holding Cap’s shield, and you frown.

You’re still looking between them when it’s given to Rogers. “Don’t forget I want it back as soon as you’re done with this – you’re still in probation no matter how many times you let me beat you at air hockey.”

The image of Steve Rogers playing air hockey – and losing – is almost as strange as Stark having custody of the shield. The very symbol of everything he stands for, and he has to give it back like a pair of shoes at the bowling alley?

You and him are back to being the only ones inside the jet after Tony leaves. “If you’re gonna say something—get it off your chest now.”

“I just— I don’t understand. Why does he have it? You clearly wear it better.” You gesture vaguely to his very poster-like form, standing by the opposite row of seats.

He frowns, but for once it’s not at you. “Howard Stark made it. I trust you know what happened to him. Who did it.”

Your jaw goes a little slack. Taking out Stark Senior was one of HYDRA’s biggest victories, you remember it well. The date was almost a holiday for them.

You don’t know what happened last year in detail, but you can guess, given the time of things. The death of the King of Wakanda, and Barnes’s arrest. The whole Avenger vs. Avenger match was a media frenzy at the time, even though the motives were still somewhat vague.

All of that happened, and yet, they’re all still sharing the same roof.

It clicks for you like a puzzle piece.

“This was your Devil’s Deal! This place, the shield—” It makes you almost sorry for him, giving up so much for the greater good. And somehow it doesn’t surprise you at all.

It’s been his modus operandi since 1945, hasn’t it?

“Wow, you guys are here already?” Steve is looking at you like you’ve gone insane when Sam walks into your transport. He takes one look at you and grins, cooing at you as he would a baby. “Look at you, all cute strapped up on your seat.”

You roll your eyes and give him the middle finger.

“You’re late.” Steve says, finally placing the shield on the back of his suit. It makes him look like a buff turtle, and you have to keep yourself from giggling.

“No, you two are just early.” Natasha is the last to join you, Banner following suit at her back. Your eyebrows shoot up and she ignores your questioning look as she takes over the command panels.

You know well that Banner isn’t coming with, and you doubt his reasons to see you all off is friendship or worry.

He fakes it by checking the connection of your wrist cuffs to your suit, but Stark had done that already. You know he’s too shy to give out any information. You’ll have to squeeze it out of one of them later – a mission more difficult than this one, you’re sure.

Planning a strategy for it is almost enough to distract you from your nerves—almost. You try to focus on Sam’s ever good-spirited rambling while you’re in the air, but your hands are back to being unsteady and your breath becomes shallow when the F.R.I.D.A.Y announces initiating landing sequence.

You manage to be discreet about it, unclasping the seat straps with what only seems like your natural ungracefulness. Watching silently as the distance between you and the permafrost grows narrower.

The ramp descends, leaving you once again vulnerable to the cold wind of the Norwegian mountains.

You’re freezing and nearly bare, running desperately through the snow, against winds at your chest and bullets at your back when Natasha nudges you on her way out. The last to leave the safety of the aircraft, you walk until you’re facing the tall iron doors of The Brutskaten, the others having stopped behind you.

You scowl at it like it can see you, like its doors are the maw of a beast ready to swallow you back in and bellow a welcome back, child, after it’s satisfied.

“Seems like the power’s still going.” Sam says, and you turn to see him inspecting a panel to the side. “Which means the security system is still on.”

He and Rogers move their eyes to Natasha, who promptly shakes her head. “I can try my way, sure. But we have to be careful. This place isn’t something you just break into, it—”

“I got it.” Moving away from the entrance, you approach the panel. What are the odds of they erasing your code amidst all that hurry?

Could one credential still be left? There’s only one way to find, and you take the safest route. Your oldest form of identification. Hiking up your right sleeve, you expose your forearm and the numbers tattooed on them to the cold air. All the breaths are held as you offer them to the camera on the panel.

A soulless voice fills the silence, followed by the heavy groaning of iron.

Projekt: Blitz. Asset-7463. Zugriff gewährt. Dostup Predostavlen. Access granted.

Easy enough. You’re entering this hell again and the only thing you can think of is that you’re damn lucky.

The accumulated dust inside makes you cough as you walk through the doors. You and the others move quietly and carefully, making little noise despite Sam’s constant sneezing.

“Damn allergies.”

The place seems like it’s been evacuated in a hurry, supplies and papers scattered everywhere, no one bothering to clean up their messes. A lot has been left behind; Natasha skims through at least five manila folders that were just sitting out in the open.

Everything is monochromatic, grey and lifeless; the high ceilings have always reminded you of some sort of temple, in which God is order and obedience is a prayer.

You’re not very religious.

It’s almost too easy – you go through the Via Crucis that is going deeper into the fortress, clearing room after room with the others, ignoring the memories that surface so you can get to your main objective: the research labs. Next to it there is a room with computers and files that should provide you with all the information this place still holds.

Natasha takes to that right away, pulling Sam with her in the dick move of the century. You’re left to inspecting the lab – your lab – with Cap, his shield and his high-strung mood that you’re not sure where or when he acquired it. You guess it happened right as you landed here. It was all going so well, and then he saw you be allowed back in like its Prodigal Daughter.

Your palms feel clammy as you eye the row of medical beds in slight disarray, most without any bedding whatsoever – a good long while since its last use.

“Is this a bad time to announce I’ve been a double agent all along? You’ve all fallen into my trap, yadda-yadda.”

You smirk as you can almost hear a vein in his forehead pop, even though you have your back to him, inspecting a surgical table next to the beds. Nothing much but a metal tray and empty bottles of sedatives.

“Do you really think this is time for jokes?”

You turn to him with a shrug. “It’s called lighting up the mood, Cap, you should know by now I’m an expert at that. In more ways than one.”

Rogers crosses the room in an instant, leaving you to stare up at him. “You need to focus. I won’t have you jeopardizing this mission—”

“Or what?” You hiss. “You’ll send me to the Raft? Haven’t I been a good girl for you?”

He leans in. You’re almost chest to chest, and you stiffen because any movement seems dangerous. “You’re so far from it I’m surprised you know the words.”

“Oh yes. I’m bad.” You chuckle, and his gaze becomes stormy. It’s new. It’s almost exciting. Your voice lowers as you whisper to his lips. “What, are you gonna punish me, Captain?”

Dumb ways to die.

Arms cage you against a desk, and pink lips curl into a smirk. “If I have to… Is that what you want?”

You swallow. His eyes follow the movement before returning to yours. His fingers ghost at your hip. Your skin tingles. He knows. It’s like standing at a cliff. If you fall, it will be into pink lips and large arms. And you’re tethering at the edge.

He smells like aftershave and something sweet you can’t put your finger on. You don’t dare take another breath.

If there is a god inside this place, it’s the same one who put wheels on the desk. It rolls back and pulls you with it, separating you from him and from a stupid thing you don’t want to do. The coffee that was left behind on it spills over on your hand, and you groan as you wipe it away. It takes you a couple seconds to notice what’s amiss.

“Is that really what gets you to be quiet—”

Steve stares as you lower yourself to the desk’s height. As far as anyone knew, it has been sitting in here for two years at least. Except there’s steam rising from it. “Coffee’s still hot.”

Steve blinks at you, and by the time he’s processed it the alarms start blaring, casting everything in a menacing red glow. Nat and Sam run in from the other room. “I think we set off some kind of—”

“It wasn’t us.” You say, and they frown at you as the information registers in their heads.

“We’ve got company. Someone was here just now, must’ve triggered the alarm.” Steve explains and turns to you. “If you were running out of here, where would you go?”

You lick your lips, a list of names going through your head when Rogers’ question brings you back.

“The Hangar. This way.”

Almost on autopilot, you speed through the endless corridors with the others on your heel. It feels strange to be the one chasing, but you shake it right off once your sight narrows on your runaway target.

Doctor Steiner is a little weasel of a man, beady, evil eyes behind thin glasses and a gravely receding hairline. He’s still wearing a white lab coat even though it has probably been a while since he tormented anyone with his profession, stains all over it as if he had been wearing it nonstop for days.

The big gate at the end of the hangar opens up almost lazily, bringing flurries of snow inside. You barely register the vehicle he’s trying to start and make his escape on, a large ATV that was surely no match for the Quinjet outside. But he didn’t know that. You don’t remember it, either.

Your focus is on the grin he gives you. “My, my, Fräulein, how far you have fallen.”

Fingers crackle with energy. The light flickers. The ATV groans but fails to start. Your head hurts.

He chuckles as you stalk towards him. You don’t even remember you have three other Avengers behind you, managing to follow close behind you. You should cool it down.

But it doesn’t matter how much the freezing wind chastises your skin, there is fire blazing behind your eyes. “I want my files. I know you have them.”

He cocks his head. Your hand shoots out and a blast of energy makes the gate stop halfway up. “You were to serve a greater purpose. Now you walk with these… Avengers.”

The corners of your lips turn down. You’re trying to summon more electricity to your palms, but all that happens is little snaps of lightning between your fingers. Steiner tuts, very much aware of your tribulation. No, fuck no. Not now, come on!

Some reprieve comes in the form Natasha and Sam landing on the other side of the hangar, right by the gate. Steiner isn’t going anywhere with the ATV. He knows it.

You realize you’ve gotten too close when he points a gun right at your forehead. “The Baron’s shining star. Such a waste. But surely you know I can’t let my work fall into the wrong hands.”

Before he pulls the trigger, you channel every Volt running inside your body to fry his brains out. Your hands spark to life – the edges of your sight darken and the monitors around your wrists beep – but if he manages to put a bullet in your skull at least you’ll have done one thing right in your life.

Except you don’t get to. The bullet hits a shield first, the same that blocks your vision of the doctor as your pulled away by the waist, then maneuvered to stay behind Captain America’s back.

“Are you out of your mind?” His mouth twitches as if he’d received some of the blast instead.

Serves him right.

“I had him!”

“You had a gun pointed right at your head.”

“I had him, Rogers.”

“You’re so goddamned reckless—” He says, but the German protests of a now restrained Dr. Steiner stops him.

Natasha barks for him to shut up. “I think you have something we’ve been looking for.” Sam crosses his arms, and Steve steps towards the doctor. It’s strange to be on the same side of the ring, you realize.

You don’t necessarily hate it.

“Give. Me. My. Files. And then maybe I’ll let Cap here be benevolent and lock you up.” Your hands ball into tight fists.

“Empty threats. There are no files, Fräulein. It is all in here,” You’re sure he’d be tapping his forehead if his hands weren’t bound behind his back. “you need me more than I need you.”

“We’ll see about that.” Steve growls.

Your eyebrows twitch as your hope dilutes itself. He was probably right – as the head of the Brutkasten Research department, there was no one who knew you more than he did. If there were no files anymore, then…

Fuck it. You’d rather let your brain explode than have another “appointment” with him ever again.

“Look at what just happened. You have always been a liability. Useful, yes—”

You want to scream at him, but for some reason you can’t. The feeling that you were something HYDRA and Captain America could finally agree on makes your lungs burn and your words vanish, nails marking crescents on your palms already.

“Effective, even! But dangerous when not on a tight leash—”

Steiner doesn’t get to finish. Steve’s fist lands heavily against the side of his head, and he isn’t built to take that kind of hit. “Fuckin’ windbag.”

The doctor’s head lolls to the side, and you finally manage to breathe. You push the shock that comes with the act for later; there’s more important things at hand.

Dr. Steiner made Steve Rogers say fuck.

The Doctor from Hell is whisked away to a government prison facility as soon as you land – that means you don’t get to spend even 10 minutes under the same roof, and you’re thankful for that.

He manages a “I’ll be expecting your visit, Fräulein!” before Steve drags him away, and a shudder runs down your spine. Never seemed like a good date for that.

You’re also thankful Natasha is put in charge of his interrogation – you don’t hear anything about it, not even the intel she’s gathered. The knowledge that you’re being shielded from all of this should be comforting.

Still, as you watch Bruce scribble and cross off things in his notebook during your weekly check-up, you get restless.

Nothing new. Just his own theories and counter theories. Which means Steiner isn’t talking.

Which means the fucker is waiting for you.

You sleep on the idea for a couple days – it’s one of your worst, honestly. Nothing good can come from a chit chat with your old doctor, but at this point you feel like you don’t really have a choice. You’ve searched for your files. You’ve returned to the Brutkasten.

The last tether to your past and the possible answer to your troubles is sitting on a prison 40 minutes away from the Compound.

You already know Rogers and Natasha’s answer before you ask them, and Sam would never take your side, not on this. On Mario Kart, sure. That’s why your hopes are on the greyest morals you can find on site. The most questionable methods.

Nick Fury has an office on the lower levels of the Compound, past the conference room and behind so many security protocols it’s almost as difficult as getting inside a bank. You wonder if he is some kind of mind-reader or psychic, because you don’t get to state your business when the multiple doors open one after another.

“If you’re here, then it must be interesting.” He says as you finally get inside.

“Wouldn’t call it interesting—more like reckless and stupid.”

“Sounds like your style. I’m listening.” Almost offensive, but you don’t take it to heart.

It’s kind of true.

“I’d like to make a doctor’s appointment.”

“I knew you’d come, Fräulein.”

“That’s what she said.”

He chuckles. “You haven’t changed—I’m glad.”

You sit in front of Dr. Hermann Steiner, finally. His wrists are affixed to the table with magnetic cuffs, and you stare at him, ironically at your mercy for the first time. You don’t remember why you used to be so afraid of him.

Without his needles, his goons and his unbridled cruelty, he’s just a man.

He’s wrong, too – you have changed. Something in you has, you can feel the flipped switch. You’re not sure what or you simply don’t want to name it, but it’s there.

It’s in the way you stare at him.

“I take it you haven’t been very talkative lately?”

“Oh, my dear, what is there to say? They didn’t exactly offer me a place in the Avengers in exchange of my help.” His lips quirk up when you tense – the subtle insult hitting you on the jaw like a right hook.

“Then what would you want in return?”

“You.” He says, and now you feel like you’ve walked into the den of a single viper. “You have no idea what you are capable of, do you? Of the extent of your abilities. The potential is endless.”

You frown. “If you want to cause a power outage in the entire tri-state area, of course. Are you sure you’re remembering me right?”

Steiner smiles. “The Baron has never let me truly fine-tune you like I wanted. But if you allow me to—”

“I am not going to be your lab rat again.”

“Think of what we could achieve, my Asset! Of what you could achieve.”

You ignore the pet name change, splaying your hands on the table. They stop shaking like this.

“Tell you what. You tell me how I stop being the mess I am right now, and I’ll achieve getting Fury to let you have sunbathing time in prison. How’s that?”

He shakes his head, still with that stupid little smirk on his face, and you have to hold back from punching it out of him.

“This should be useful to you.” He slides a tiny SD card in your direction, and you wonder if he’s been holding it in his hands all this time, and more so – how he had smuggled it inside.

Your answer comes in the shape of a small wound on the back of his hand. Subcutaneous incision, one of the old methods. It makes you shudder. “The information you need is all in here. This will return you to me, I know it.”

Fingers hesitate but take the drive anyways. The smallest Pandora’s box.

“I already have a doctor. But thanks.”

#steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #captain america fanfic #mcu fanfic #mcu fanfiction #emwrites

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btsgotjams27 · 1 year

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this is us ~ jjk | 18

you're dreading the meeting in LA, but it's a big city. you're not gonna bump into jungkook, are you?

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend's brother ✨ playlist | ✨ if you haven't read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: naurrrr--this means the series will be ending soon, but yesss---jk and oc will finally come face to face after a year apart! how will it go down? what's gonna happen? 👀 ✨ a/n 2: thank you to those who have sent in words for the little game. those words will be in bold throughout the rest of the chapters. we still have a podcast episode to celebrate the end of this story and you'll be able to send in questions and comments (a form link will be up when i post the last chapter :')) i'll also have a survey for y'all too :) as always, please leave a like, reblog, send an ask. i'd love to hear your thoughts.

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ drabble ~ dream bigger, darling

chapter eighteen ~ you're seeing things, aren't you? | wc: 10.9k warnings: there will be a lot of talking, mild language, oc’s friends being loveable dummies, light insecurity, heart flutters, language, drinking, sleazy slimeballs, some touching, a slap to the face, unresolved feelings, insecure jk & oc, bamie is hereeee, love confessions, our babies are growing up and taking things slow, they both get on their knees (you'll understand why when u read), delicate first kiss that turns into a heated one, they're both h*rny but remember they're taking thing slow, smol erection bc hello they're together again, jk is tame and controls himself?? (WHUTTTT) but oc needs a lil bit more from him, bittersweet goodbyes (for now)

The impending meeting was coming up at the end of the week. Your agent, Jae, wouldn't take no for an answer and immediately responded to the Netflix executive, saying you’d take the meeting. If the meeting was anywhere else in the world, you wouldn’t hesitate, but the fact that you had to fly out to LA for this made you feel reluctant.

And when everyone heard you’d be in LA, the only topic of conversation was if you were planning to see he-who-must-not-be-named.

"Will you tell Jungkook you're in town?" Hyunie asked as she cut through her French toast covered in Nutella and strawberries. Taehyung leaned over to take a bite from her fork, but she refused to let him have any.

Yoongi sat, wavering his fingers together. “Oh—the plot thickens. Dun, dun, dun.”

He’d become too comfortable knowing your business and complained that he knew too much for his own good. He was cool with you, but his lifestyle was too chill to mesh with everyone else’s dramatics, including yours. Though he works in the movie business, that didn’t mean he wanted his life to be like a goddamn drama.

“Wouldn’t that be weird? To meet up with an ex?” you asked with reluctance as you searched your friend’s faces for any words of advice.

It’d be nice to catch up, you thought, but what if old feelings resurface? Then what? You’d be screwed and have to start from square one again. You had gotten too far to return to the sad, pathetic person you once were.

Hyunie interjects, “Of course not! You’re friends too.”

You deadpanned. “I haven’t spoken to him in over a year–and I’d hardly call us friends.”

Honestly, could you even go back to being just friends? How were you supposed to be friends with your ex-slash-best-friends-little-brother? How can anyone return to being just friends after being with someone like Jeon Jungkook? You could hardly keep your friends now and then to add an ex as a friend? It sounded like a recipe for disaster.

With a mouth full of strawberries, Tae threw in his two cents. “Just go see him. What’s the worst that can happen? You gonna sleep with him?” He smirked and grabbed another bright red strawberry. This conversation amused him for days, making smart comments and occasionally alluding to what the two of you used to have.

“Really, Tae?” You rolled your eyes, sipping your coffee. You’d like to think you had some kind of self-control.

“What? I’m just being realistic here. The two of you probably have all that pent-up sexual frustration, and who knows—you might not be able to contain yourselves if you’re in the same room.” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows and then bit down his bottom lip, thrusting and slapping the air while in his seat. Hyunie elbowed him in his rib, causing him to groan at the pain. She whispered something indistinct to him, and the two bickered quietly.

You turned to Yoongi. He was always wise and had the right answers. “What should I do?”

You interrupted him just as he was about to sip his coffee. His lips thinned, and he stared blankly at you. “Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re the most unbiased person here, and you don’t know Jungkook like we do.”

Yoongi shrugged. “I don’t know. Do whatever you want. If you want to see him, go see him. If you don’t, then don’t. It’s as simple as that.”

Everyone turned their attention to you, wondering how you’d respond. It wasn't as simple as Yoongi had said. The weight of your previous relationship with Jungkook wasn’t one where you could simply put it behind you and pretend like you could be friends again. There was too much history, too much hurt—just too much of everything. You tried to convince yourself for months that there were no more feelings.

And you had made so much progress, minus being upset when you heard he was in town—but regardless, you had moved on, and seeing Jungkook again could set you back a few steps.

Yoongi set down his knife and fork and turned to you. “You’re a big girl, and you’ve worked through a lot of things, and if you don’t think you can handle seeing him again, then don’t put yourself in that situation. I'm sure he’d understand.”

“Or—or—you could just fuc—”

Hyunie covered Taehyung’s mouth, muffling the rest of his sentence. “Don’t listen to my crazy husband. Do what you think is best for you, okay?”

After brunch with the crazy lovebirds, you sat in Yoongi’s car, staring aimlessly out the window, and said nothing the entire car ride.

As he pulled up to your apartment complex, you needed to ask him again. “Tell me the truth. What would you do in my position?”

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. He knew you needed reassurance, but honestly, there was no right answer for this situation.

“Well, considering that I’ve gotten to know you over this past year, I'd say that it’s gonna eat at you day and night if you don’t reach out to him. You’ll wonder, ‘what could’ve been’ or ‘what if I did X, Y, and Z?’ You’re good at compartmentalizing, but I have a feeling ten years down the line, you’re gonna be upset at yourself. So, I don’t know, as I said earlier if you want to see him, go see him. If you don’t, then don’t. Whatever you choose will be the right decision.”

But what was the right decision? You thought of all the possible scenarios that could play out. What if you call to meet up, and he doesn’t want to? Or what if you meet up and it’s awkward? Or what if you meet up and old feelings resurface?

You were thankful for Yoongi and glad he could always be honest with you. With his advice in consideration, along with everyone else’s minus Kim Taehyung’s, you pondered your next move as you tossed and turned in bed.

Should you try and meet up with Jungkook? But you were doing so well. You had deleted his number, photos, and texts, and if you wanted his new number, you’d have to ask Yuna, and you wouldn’t hear the end of it from her if you did.

Maybe it’d be easier to just not try to see him. You were sure he was doing well, living in LA, doing whatever he was doing, seeing whomever he wanted. You just didn’t want to return to feeling insecure and vulnerable, and you had worked so hard to be where you are today. Maybe it’d be better if you didn’t tell him you were in town.

A non-stop flight from Seoul to LA was close to eleven hours, but you wished it was longer. The lower the flight time, the higher your anxiety rises. Los Angeles was a big city, and there was no way you’d bump into Jungkook, right? That’s a ridiculous thought to have. You’d have a higher chance of bumping into a celebrity than your ex. You were just psyching yourself out at this point, and there was no need to because you decided not to tell him you’d be in town.

After eleven hours on a flight and only six hours of sleep, you hoped you’d bump into no one. Your swollen ankles and puffy eyes were horrendous for anyone to see. But here you were—in Los Angeles, where many dreams came to fruition or never saw the light of day, and you were hoping for the latter, whatever that dream may be. You were curious about what Netflix had to offer and if it would require you to move here. Though, you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, thinking about the what-ifs because nothing was set in stone.

Being a huge corporation, Netflix paid for everything—the flight, hotel, and transportation. Not too shabby, especially since they were trying to woo you into whatever job this was. They booked a corner suite at the Conrad Los Angeles, overlooking the city's skyline. The hustle and bustle of city life were similar but different from Seoul and could possibly be a place where you’d have to get used to.

The luxe Mercedes Benz E-Class you were sitting in pulled up behind the slew of cars from other hotel guests. This felt too fancy from anything you were used to, but you weren’t complaining.

You bid your driver farewell and thanked them as he pulled your luggage from the trunk and set it beside you. Just as you grabbed the handle, a driver behind you honked, gesturing for you to move out of the way. You jumped back, your heart racing as the loud horn continued in short outbursts until you stepped onto the hotel’s sidewalk.

God, this city sucks already, you thought, and you hadn’t even been here for that long, either. Brushing off the awful interaction, you breathed a big breath, ready to take on whatever this trip had in store for you.

“Miss? I’ll need a form of ID and a credit card to put on file.”

You handed what the front desk receptionist needed from you. Now, you understood all the buzz and why this was the hot spot. The hotel was gorgeous and a great place to hang out, even if you weren’t a guest.

As the receptionist input your information, your eyes scanned the lobby, taking everything in. A rowdy group of men exited one of the hotel restaurants, entering the lobby. You noticed a man in a monochromatic cream-colored outfit. You appreciate a man who was put together.

After catching a glimpse of him, you could’ve sworn your eyes were deceiving you. No, it wasn’t him. You were seeing things, weren’t you?

This city was far too big for you to end up at the same hotel as your ex-boyfriend, right? Destiny was definitely being a prude and playing tricks on you.

“Here’s your ID and card back. You’re located on the 16th floor, room 1613.”

“Thank you.”

When you grabbed your ID, card, and luggage, you turned around to ensure you were imagining things. The group of men had disappeared and was nowhere to be found. But you shouldn’t be looking for Jungkook anyway. You decided not to tell him you were in town. Wouldn’t you look pathetic going back on your word?

But instead of going directly to your room, you might have ‘taken the long route,’ cruising through the hotel—just to see what they had to offer. Though, who were you kidding? That person definitely looked like Jungkook! Except he had longer hair, and you hadn’t seen any recent photos of Jungkook, so you had no idea if he had shaved his head or had long, glorious hair like Rapunzel.

You would’ve lurked longer, but now you felt super creepy and stalker-ish, and your large rollaway luggage wasn’t helping either. Maybe it was time to give up; you had been looking longer than you should’ve.

If there was one thing that could possibly make up for the shitty interaction from the furious man honking away like there was no tomorrow—it was the view. The city skyline and clear blue skies with only a few scattered marshmallow-type clouds floating around.

The room was too big for just one person, and you weren’t sure what to do with yourself to kill time before your big meeting. So, you quickly freshen up to roam around the five-star hotel. You had nothing better to do, save for the fact that you needed to find that guy again, just to make sure it wasn’t Jungkook.

And as you expected, this hotel was packed with people. The restaurant's decor and view were stunning, to say the least. You didn’t want to keep going back and forth between the various choices of restaurants, so you stuck with the first place you saw, Agua Viva.

A small commotion turned your head; your eyes focused on it for a split second before returning your attention to the host. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. Yes, a seat at the bar is great. Thank you.”

You scanned the drink menu, pondering the various choices before you. Alcohol or no alcohol—such a hard decision. Well, considering you were going to an important meeting, it was probably best not to be tipsy, or it could calm your nerves.

“Hello, miss. What’ll you have?”

It was a toss-up between the Tornup Tiki Punch or Flamingo Shuttle. What silly names they were.

“I’ll have a Flamingo Shuttle, please.”

Non-alcoholic it is.

“One Flamingo Shuttle coming right up.”

You tapped on the square napkin before you, swiveling your chair back and forth, taking in the surroundings of light laughter and chatter, before returning your attention to the bartender making your drink.

In a city of 3.8 million people, it was stupid to think you had seen Jungkook. Maybe you just wanted it to be him and desperately tried to speak it into existence. You probably had a better chance of bumping into a Kardashian than Jeon Jungkook.

“Is this seat taken?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before turning around to confirm your suspicions about the familiar voice.

It’s like time stood still; everything and everyone quieted down, and it was only you and him. He was like a stranger from a different lifetime staring back at you, but everything you felt while with him came rushing back like a flood.

“Jungkook.” His name rolled off your lips in a familiar way you couldn’t explain. It had such a hold on you, pulling you right back like a lovesick puppy.

“Noona,” he said with his big brown, doe eyes crinkling in the corner, along with a bunny smile.

The one word made you clench around nothing, but it’s just a word–what’s wrong with you? Honestly, woman.

“Is this seat taken?” He repeated, making you come back to reality.

“No, it’s yours if you’d like.”

You watched his every move. His hand held your stool, and his thumb lightly brushed against your back as he sat down. Immediately, you straighten your posture in case of any other accidental touches.

Jungkook crossed his arms on the counter, turning to you. The both of you smiled awkwardly, waiting for someone to say something.

“I thought I saw you,” the both of you said in unison and chuckled after.

“It’s me,” you scrunch your nose, flashing a smile.

Jungkook shook his head, copying your smile. “I thought I was going crazy for a split second. Wha–” he paused to let his mind catch up with his words. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for a meeting.”

He nodded. “Oh. It must be an important meeting if you flew all the way out here.”

You hummed. “Yeah, it’s pretty important.”

Should you spare more details? Or just leave it at the bare minimum? You didn’t want him to conjure up any ideas as you had been for the last few weeks.

“Your Flamingo Shuttle, miss. Would you like to bill it to your room?”

“Yes, please.” If Netflix was paying, you were drinking.

You lightly groaned after taking a sip, not realizing you’d been thirsty after flying all day, or was it Jungkook’s presence making you feel suddenly parched?

“Anything for you, sir?” The bartender asked Jungkook, to which he shook his head no.

“It’s good to see you,” Jungkook said as the bartender left to attend to another guest.

Your crossed leg unintentionally touched his pant leg when you turned toward him. You took your time letting your eyes gaze over this new Jeon Jungkook. His permed hair had grown longer, and a fringe was swept softly across his left eye. The piercing that adorned his eyebrow had disappeared, and the only thing decorating that pretty face was a lip piercing.

“It’s really good to see you too. You look great, by the way. I love the long hair. It really suits you.” You couldn’t help but wonder how his hair would feel entangled between your fingers.

He proceeded to touch the ends. “Thanks. You–you always look great,” he chuckled lightly.

Your heart skipped a beat at the compliment as you suppressed a smile. “Thanks. I–um, do you have time to catch up? If you’re not busy, that is, but if you are, then please feel free to go. I don’t–I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

“I have some time,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes and his tiny dimple on display.

Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as you made it in your head. You were overanalyzing nothing. Jungkook seemed happy to see you, even though you thought he’d be running in the other direction, considering he had left on a whim.

“Um, do you work around here?”

“Yeah, I was just getting some early drinks with my colleagues.”

Your mind immediately went to Alex, which you fucking hated, but you couldn’t help it. Obviously, she wasn’t with the group of him and rowdy men, but you assumed they still worked together, and who knew in what kind of capacity–or maybe she had him eating in the palm of her hands again.

You stopped the ongoing conversation in your head. It wasn’t good for anyone if this continued.

“This is a great place. I can see why you’d come here.” He hummed in agreement. “How–how are you? How’s everything?”

Jungkook cleared his throat, interlocking his hands together, light tapping his thumb on the other. “It’s good. I’m—good. Work has been going well. I, uh—I’ve taken up running along with boxing, but Bam–he’s a handful.”

“Bam?”

“Yeah! My dog.”

“You have a dog?”

“He’s still a pup, but he’s getting so big already.” Jungkook pulled his phone from his back pocket, scrolling to find a photo of Bam. “See.” He set his phone on the counter, pushing it to you.

“Oh, my god. He’s precious! He has big doe eyes like his dad,” your mouth curved into a smile. “He’s perfect for you.”

Jungkook cleared his throat, pressing the off button on his phone. “How are you? What’s new?”

His question was so broad you weren’t sure where to start. He obviously knew about your meeting but didn’t know what it was for. But how much information would you feel comfortable divulging?

“I’m good.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “I just got back from a solo trip, and then this whole LA thing happened, and now I’m here.”

“Ah–right. Yuna told me about your trip. How was it? Did you enjoy yourself?”

You nodded. “It was great. I practically laid out on the beach most of the time, got some sun in,” you smiled and shrugged. “And what about you? I heard you were back in Seoul for a little bit.”

He hummed. “Yeah, for my mom’s birthday dinner, and I finally got to meet Indie.”

“Ugh, I love that little booger,” you chimed in.

“She’s amazing, and she’s growing up so fast.”

“Right? She grew up in a blink of an eye.”

Then you realized Jungkook had missed most, if not the entirety, of Indie's first year. Time had passed, and you had also grown and blossomed without your awareness in the midst of it all.

Jungkook beamed a soft smile.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” you asked again, searching for the bartender.

He shook his head. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Positive?” You gave him a look.

He nodded. “Still trying to take care of me?”

“Well–I am older than you.”

Jungkook chuckled and turned away for a moment. “I, uh, already had some earlier, remember? So, I shouldn’t have anymore.”

“What? You can’t hold your liquor anymore, old man?” you teased.

He scoffed at your lame joke. “Are you taunting me?”

It almost felt like old times when you were just friends, ragging on each other.

You sipped your drink before answering, “Yes.”

He flashed a close-lipped smile. “Can I take a rain check?”

You hummed lightly. “You got it.”

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck and swiveled in his chair, lightly brushing his knee against yours. “Do you have my new number?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. No, because you recently deleted all his contact, texts, and photos. You shook your head.

He held out his hand, wavering his fingers for your phone. You gave it over without hesitation and watched as he saved his number. “Call me if you need anything or want to get that drink before you leave.”

He handed it back, his fingers softly touching yours. “I should go. I left Bam too long by himself.”

Your heart almost leaped out of your chest and onto the counter, your stomach fluttering with a swarm of butterflies and the bead of sweat on the nape of your neck finally caressing your skin when he touched you. “Yeah, sure, of course.” You nervously scratched your temple. “I, uh, I should get going too. I have my meeting soon.”

Jungkook smiled and stood, and you followed suit. He stepped back, straightening his cream-colored jacket and smoothing down his pants. “I’ll talk to you soon?”

You weren’t sure if he really meant it or if it was just an expression. Either way, you didn’t want to put more meaning into it than needed. You smiled and hummed.

He stepped away, waving his hand before walking off into the sea of people who just entered the restaurant.

You half expected him to look back, but he didn’t. He was calm, cool, and collected as he confidently walked away, making you think he was over you.

Jungkook sat in his Uber, pinching himself to ensure he wasn’t dreaming–that he really saw you and had a conversation, and it wasn’t as awkward as he thought it would be. Unless it was awkward, and he invented a fictitious scenario in his head, misunderstood your body language, and misinterpreted your words.

“Sir?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. Yes, you can drop me off right here.” Jungkook’s mind raced back and forth, replaying the conversation.

He closed the car’s door, shuffling to the apartment complex’s gate. He punched in the code, rushing to his place to let Bam out.

The 50-pound puppy popped his head up, panting and wagging his tail as he saw his owner. Bam sprung to his feet and dashed over to Jungkook, smelling and licking his palm more than normal.

“I know, Bamie. I know.”

Jungkook smelled different. He must’ve had the faintest smell of you on him.

“Come on, boy. You’ve been waiting for me for too long.”

Bam whined when Jungkook’s mind was on something else and did not notice him. He was scratching Bam’s belly, staring off into space with nothing but you on his mind. It’s like you had completely taken over him like you were his paradise, and even if he tried to resist, it was probably useless now. He could never escape you.

Should he go back to the hotel? Would that seem too needy? He thought he was trying to get over you, but here you were, right in front of him, practically within reach—no ocean between the two of you. If now wasn’t the time, then when?

Was he prepared to fight for you? To be with you again? Was he ready for you to reject him if he wanted more, but you didn’t?

He sighed, fighting with himself for his next move. Whatever his decision, he wanted to ensure it was the right one. The real question was—did he want to be with you again after all this time?

The answer was yes—it has always been yes. You’re it. You’ve ruined him—it will always be you.

He was so close to getting in his car and driving back. Every cell in his body was urging him to go and confess his undying love—that is, until he remembered he ran away, that he hurt you.

What if you had moved on but didn't want him to know? He had no right to delve into your business anymore. What if you had moved on with that Yoongi guy? He'd heard that guy's name too many times from Yuna and Taehyung for him not to suspect anything was up with the two of you. You looked so happy with Yoongi that one time he saw you. Maybe he was the cause of your euphoria, the person you spent all your time with, the person you dreamed with, shared your hopes with—maybe you had fully closed the chapter that Jungkook was a part of, and Yoongi was the ‘take two’ of your story.

But could Jungkook just be a foolish dreamer? Thinking he still had a chance with you?

He'd given you his phone number, and the ball was now in your court. If you wanted to, then you’d contact him. Otherwise, perhaps it's best that he's not constantly chasing you. If you still wanted him, then you needed to let him know, and if you didn’t, then maybe he could finally try to let you go.

You checked yourself one last time, smoothing out your tailored skirt and matching blazer. You wished you had chosen another pair of heels, but your nude slingbacks were the only things you packed, so it’d have to suffice. With a swipe of your raspberry lip tint, you were now ready to charm whoever this executive was.

The hostess led you through the restaurant to a private dining lounge. A few guests were scattered far and wide while light jazz music and laughter filled your ears. Were all Netflix meetings always this fancy? You had looked up the menu beforehand, and the prices were somewhat reasonable for dinner, but you’d be fine with instant ramen from the convenience store. You could probably order the whole menu if you wanted since you weren't paying.

“Mr. Wells will be here shortly,” the hostess smiled, leaving you at the table as you mindlessly fiddled with your thumbs.

You wondered how your name even landed on the desk or email of someone across the ocean. Or could Jae just be a great writing agent, and he just had his connections? Maybe you’d find out during this dinner.

A waitress stopped by the table, bringing glasses of water and a bottle of Champagne.

“Oh–I didn’t order this.”

“Mr. Wells did. He wanted to apologize in advance for his lateness. He’s held up in traffic at the moment.” The waitress poured the champagne into two tall flutes.

Fifteen minutes went by as you sat waiting for this Netflix exec. He was already leaving a bad taste in your mouth because of his lateness, but it’s not like you had any other plans.

You scanned the room, watching others converse and eat before pulling out your phone. You went to your contacts and scrolled down to Jungkook’s name. It was like deja vu all over again–staring aimlessly at his name, whether or not to delete it or keep it. Only this time, he would hopefully pick up the call.

You were tempted to text him to see what he was up to. Considering it was a Friday night, he was probably out with friends, maybe Jimin or a girlfriend. You’d heard from Taehyung that they hung out fairly often. At least he had a friendly face in this city.

A low, husky voice said your name, making you look up from your phone. The man standing before you was not someone you pictured. If you had all the confidence in the world, you’d whistle and holler at this Park Seo Joon look alike.

“I’m Zachary Wells, but just call me Zach.” He grinned as he quickly scanned your face and held out his hand. You stood to shake it.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you and your work,” Zach said, gesturing for the both of you to sit.

“You have?”

“Whenever Kenji is in town, you’re all he ever talks about.”

Ah, Kenji. You should’ve known. Well, you supposed one of your exes was good for something.

Zach grabbed the attention of the waitress. “Should we order dinner? I’m starving.”

The two of you had a lot in common. Zach was fairly easy to talk to and was a chatterbox. But just like Kenji, Zach was avoiding why he had wanted to meet you in the first place.

The conversation had finally winded down after an hour, and the champagne and water washed down the last of your dinner. And now, only one thing remains.

“So, you’re probably wondering why I wanted to meet with you.” You hummed. "Well, as you know, we've been expanding Netflix into South Korea, and we're picking up a lot of Korean dramas as demand grows here in the States. As I was talking with Kenji, we thought you’d be perfect for the role of director for creative marketing. I understand you've been a writer for a long time, but I believe you have the potential to help us thrive even more with your market knowledge and insight.”

“Would that mean I wouldn’t have to move out here? That I could stay in Seoul?” It was the first thought on your mind.

“We’d onboard you here in LA for a few months and then get you settled back in Seoul.”

Zach’s offer was too good to be true and to pass up. You didn’t have anything else going for you right now. No show and only a half-finished script.

“So? What do you think?” Zach leaned back in his seat, draping his arm behind you, scanning you from head to toe. He finished the last of his champagne, gesturing for the waitress to bring another one.

It’s not like you could give him an answer right here, right now–coming to live in LA, leaving your life and friends behind. It was a big ask and not a decision you’d take lightly.

Your silence encouraged him to move closer, and his knee knocked into yours. “What do I have to do to convince you?” he said, his finger lightly brushing against your knee.

Immediately, you pulled back, pushing his hand away. “Is this how you get everyone to come to work for you?” You scowled, disgusted by his action.

“This is an opportunity of a lifetime, babe. Don’t waste it.” Zach raised his brows, waiting for you to change your mind. He tried to touch you again, but a loud smack echoed throughout the room, making others around you stop and look at the commotion.

“You’re feisty. I like that.” Zach licked his lips, massaging his cheek.

“You’re a disgusting pig.”

He scoffed. “Oh, am I? I’m here trying to give you a job, and here you are, being a fucking bitch. I hear you have nothing else lined up for you, right? And I can easily tell everyone in this industry to never give you another job again.” He threatened and then proceeded to move in again.

“If you touch me again. I’ll fucking scream,” you seethed, your face warm to the touch, smoke fuming from your ears.

Zach rolled his eyes and threw his hands in defeat. “Fine–have it your way. Good luck getting a job in this industry ever again,” he spat out before leaving.

Everyone in the restaurant was looking at you. You cowered, unsure of where to go or what to do. You weren’t expecting this turn of events. It was just too good to be true.

This whole trip felt like a bust. You came here expecting to return to Seoul with a job but instead had a creepy interaction with a high-level executive, and they paid for everything, including your flight and hotel. You shivered at the thought of him knowing exactly where you were staying. You were alone in a big city, and the only person you knew was your ex-boyfriend.

You illuminated your phone to check the time, debating whether to call Jungkook. Would it be weird? Would you look desperate if you called? It’s not like you had any dignity left anyway.

Unlocking your phone, you clicked on Jungkook’s contact; your thumb hovered over the call button. Fuck it, you thought and pressed call.

It rang a few times before Jungkook’s familiar voice was on the other end—it felt like old times.

Hello?

“Hey, it’s me.”

Hey. I was hoping you’d call. Are you done with your meeting already?

“Yeah, um, would you mind picking me up at the restaurant?”

Yeah! Of course. Text me the address. I’m coming right now.

Jungkook zipped through the city, and thankfully, there wasn’t any heavy traffic to slow him down. He got to the restaurant in less than 20 minutes. He pulled up and saw you waiting on the sidewalk with your arms crossed, trying to keep yourself warm. Parking the car, he ran over to you.

“Hey—are you okay?” he asked with concerned eyes, scanning you from head to toe, ensuring you weren’t hurt.

“Yeah, can we go?” Your body language was telling Jungkook otherwise.

He opened the door for you, and you quickly got in, fastening your seat belt and breathing a sigh of relief once you lay against the headrest. Jungkook looked over, biting his cheek as he could tell you weren’t okay—your eyes were glassy, and he could see how your mascara smudged. He began to input the address for the hotel, but you stopped him.

“Can—can we go back to your place?” Jungkook perked up. “I don’t want to be alone, if that’s okay.”

He certainly wasn’t going to deny you. “Yeah, of course. That’s fine with me.”

“Are you sure?”

It probably wasn’t fair of you to do this to him.

“Yeah, of course. Anything for you.”

“Jungkook, you can totally say no—”

He gently placed his hand on top of yours. “Hey—it’s okay. We’ll go to my place.”

You waited a good distance behind Jungkook as he unlocked the door. He took a step but then stepped back and turned to you.

“Bam gets excited when new people come over. So, I apologize if he’s a bit wild.”

You smiled, assuring him you’d be okay. You were nervous but psyched to meet him, actually—you hoped he would like you. Considering Jungkook was his owner, Bam would probably be the sweetest pup.

As soon as Jungkook opened the door, the brown-coated Doberman greeted him. He knelt down, rubbing his floppy ears. “I told you I wouldn’t be gone long, right, Bamie?”

Jungkook looked at you, beaming a wide smile before returning to his puppy. Bam’s tongue hung out as he panted, looking in your direction–he really did have big, doe eyes like Jungkook. Maybe they were drawn to each other through lingering starry eyes.

He let go of him, and immediately Bam came to sniff your hand, giving a few licks before looking up at you. “I think he likes you.”

“Whew—I passed Bam’s vibe check,” you joked as you crouched down to cup his face, in which Bam licked your chin. “Oh–” You scrunch your eyes closed and giggle at the pup. He really was so sweet.

“Bam—house,” Jungkook commanded. Bam whined quietly before following his owner’s order. He pouted the entire stroll to his crate. As he lay down, he took his turtle chew toy into his mouth, making it squeak.

You slipped off your shoes and set down your bag, looking around Jungkook’s apartment. As you expected, it was squeaky clean, with a few photo frames of his mom, Yuna, and Indie. Then you noticed the ‘Rising Star’ award he had displayed on a shelf next to a few other awards he must’ve gotten at his new job. The stark white walls and flooring contrasted against the black and brown hue furniture. You chuckled to yourself when you saw the workout equipment in the corner—of course; it’s right in his living room.

“If you’re tired, you can take my bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“Oh–” It wasn’t your intention to sleep here. You didn’t want to be alone after that icky interaction with Zach. “I’m okay. Do you just want to hang out and talk for a little bit?”

Jungkook took a big gulp and cleared his throat. He figured this was the moment of truth. He didn’t know what to expect anymore–it could be good or bad.

“Yeah,” he smiled, making his way to the couch, gesturing for you to do the same. “Make yourself at home.”

That was easier said than done. You felt intrusive and feared that you crossed a boundary you shouldn’t have.

He watched you sit on the opposite end. And never in a million years did he think you’d be here, sitting with him. Is it possible that you have found some way to forgive him?

Your eyes found his, and the two of you nervously chuckled.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Tea?”

You shook your head. You didn’t mind just sitting here and being in his presence. It felt so comforting after such a long day of traveling and a shitty meeting.

“How was your meeting? Did it go well?”

You sighed, positioning your body toward him as you leaned against the couch. You purse your lips before answering him. “The guy was a bit of a douche. The job sounded like a great opportunity, but I refuse to work with someone who thinks I’ll sleep with them for a job.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, and he shifted in his seat. “I’m sorry, what?”

You could see Jungkook clenching his fist, but honestly, he had nothing to worry about. You hoped the slap Zach got was more than enough to scare him off.

You held your hands up to calm him down. “I can take care of myself, Jungkook,” you assured him. “He got a nice slap from me,” you beamed.

He breathed a sigh, relaxing his body into the couch cushion. “I’m sorry the meeting wasn’t everything you had hoped for.”

You shrugged. “It’s whatever. I’m sure something better will come along.”

“I’m sure it will.”

“So, what were you doing on a Friday night? I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” You scanned the room, and there was nothing indicating he had company over.

Jungkook pouted, shaking his head. “Just hanging out with Bam.”

“No girlfriend or anything?”

Jungkook suppressed a smile, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe this was your subtle way of asking if he was seeing anyone. “No. No girlfriend. LA girls aren’t really my type.” Because you were, he thought. As hard as he tried to let you go, he just couldn’t.

You hummed and then wanted to kick yourself because that question came out of nowhere, but it was the question lingering on your mind ever since he had left. Someone who looked like him would’ve surely had women lined out the door, ready and willing to date him and bear his children.

“What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, avoiding your gaze.

“No. No boyfriend.”

“So, you’re not seeing that Yoongi guy?”

You licked your lips, the corners of your mouth curving into a smile. “I��m guessing you heard that name from Yuna or Taehyung?” He nodded. “He’s just a friend and a pain in my ass.”

“Ah–got it.”

“And what about Alex? Is she still around?” You couldn’t not ask. It was like a giant elephant hanging out in the room with you.

Jungkook figured her name would come up sooner or later. “Alex’s not working for the company anymore. She moved out of the country.”

“Good,” you huffed; if she wasn't near Jungkook, that made you happy.

“You really hate her, huh?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

Jungkook softly chuckled, letting a beat pass. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Everything that happened with us.”

“I’m sorry too.” Your lips thinned, your fingers unconsciously picking at your hand.

“Why are you sorry?”

You appreciated that he didn't point out your flaws, but he wasn’t the only one at fault. Neither one of you was perfect. “Jungkook, you’re not the only one to blame. I should have communicated my feelings better when we were together.”

He nodded in agreement. “Do you think you could ever forgive me?”

Initially, it was hard to even think about forgiving Jungkook, but as time passed, the pain and hurt subsided. “Mm. I forgive you. Do you forgive me?”

“Yes,” he chimed in. You chuckled at how fast he answered. “What?” He raised his eyebrow.

You shook your head. “Nothing–”

“Just say it.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because—I just—shouldn’t.” You wanted to say you found him cute and endearing and that he forgave others too quickly.

“Fine,” he pouted, shifting his leg onto the couch.

Your mouth opens involuntarily, exhaling a yawn from exhaustion. The time difference really fucked you up. Quickly, you covered it with both hands and excused yourself.

“Am I boring you?” Jungkook teased.

“Yes, actually. I hadn’t realized you’d become so dull,” you quipped, covering another yawn. “See—so boring that you’re making me sleepy.” You leaned on your arm against the back cushion.

“Or maybe you’re just becoming an old lady.”

You scoffed. “I’m an old lady? You’re the one who’s staying in on a Friday night! Old man.”

“Yeah, I had to stay in, just in case an old lady needed me.” Jungkook giggled and looked away before returning to meet your eyes. “I’ve missed this.”

“What?”

“Us.”

It was this specific moment when you moved into flight mode. You gave a half-smile and shifted your position so your feet touched the ground. You checked your phone for the time. “I should get an Uber and go back to my hotel.”

“I can take you.”

“Jungkook, you’ve done so much for me already. I don’t want you to have to drive back and forth.”

“I don’t mind—honestly.”

You stood up. “I know you don’t—but I do. It’s okay—really.” You unlocked your phone and pulled up the app, determined to call for a car. All of this was becoming too much for you, for your heart. His presence, the giggles, the familiarity of what the two of you used to be.

Jungkook stood and walked over to you, gently pushing away your phone. “What’s going on? Tell me the truth.” He could always tell when your mind was working overload—racing with thought after thought.

Should you tell him why you needed to leave after the two of you had a nice, civil conversation without screaming or yelling? Your therapist did tell you that no one would know how you feel unless you told them—and you just told Jungkook that you should communicate better.

Ugh, goddamnit.

Speak now or forever, hold your peace.

You didn’t want to revert back to your old ways—being anxious, self-conscious, unsure of what you wanted. You sighed. “The truth?” Jungkook nodded. “The truth is—I probably shouldn’t have called you.”

“Why?” he asked as his starry eyes gazed deeply into your soul.

“Because—I was—I am scared.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrow, unsure of why you’d be scared. “Scared of what?”

“I was scared that if I called you and we talked—old feelings would resurface, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.”

“You still have feelings for me?”

“I think so? I’m—I’m not sure,” you stammered. “That’s why I didn’t call you in the first place when I knew I was coming to LA, and then when I happened to bump into you—well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that yes, I still have feelings for you.”

His eyes fell to the floor, and he sucked in his lips, trying not to smile, before looking back at you. “Am I the mistake?”

You shook your head. “You were never a mistake.”

“Then what mistakes are you referring to?”

You hung your head and sat back down, and Jungkook followed suit. You nibbled on the inside of your cheek, and he looked at you, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know. Me—falling too fast, building fantasies inside my head, knowing it’ll never be real, not saying how I feel, pushing away people who love me. Should I keep going?”

“So, you didn’t want to call me and come here because you were scared all that’s gonna happen if you talked to me? Is that right?”

It sounded ridiculous, but he hit the nail on the head.

You hummed.

There was the slimmest chance of you bumping into Jungkook while in the same city, but you hadn’t fully prepared yourself if you did bump into him. You weren’t ready for the unresolved feelings and the smallest flutters of butterflies, your body to warm up to the simplest of accidental touches and soft giggles.

You could’ve just sucked it up, called an Uber, returned to your hotel, and tried to brush off the slimy interaction with the Netflix exec, but instead, you called the one person you knew would bring you comfort—Jungkook.

Should you just be completely honest and bare your soul? You were halfway there. Maybe it was time to grow up and just say what the fuck you wanted.

Jungkook was silent and waited to see if you had anything else.

You cleared your throat, thinking it was now or never.

“Our breakup,” you paused to recollect yourself and to stop your lips from quivering so much. You started again, “Our breakup—it really fucked me up. You left without saying goodbye, and after that, I kind of spiraled—drinking every day, showing up late to set, and ditching our friends. Hell—I almost let some random guy fuck me in a bathroom.”

You sighed. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, but I needed to go through all those things to be where I am today. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and had a lot of healing through therapy, a solo trip, and some new friends–okay, just one new friend, but that's beside the point–I just don’t want to go back to the same person I was before.”

Jungkook opened his mouth to speak, but you stopped him.

“I’m not saying that being here with you again will make me become the person I was before—I just want to make better decisions being the new person I am now.”

Finally, hearing how you felt after all this time relieved him. He had waited so long for you to finally share yourself with him.

Jungkook’s mouth moved from side to side, nibbling on his bottom lip before he spoke, “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. The weekend in Jeju really fucked me up. So much was happening with Taehyung and Hyunie’s wedding, and then we were on the brink of breaking up while pretending to be happy. My heart and my mind were all over the place. Then I saw you with Yoongi, and that really sent me over the edge because that’s when I knew I had lost you and could never get you back—no matter how hard I tried, I don’t think anything would’ve worked. So—I left.”

Your jaw tightened, trying to hold back tears as Jungkook recounted his side of the story. You didn’t know he saw you with Yoongi; it must’ve been shortly after you returned from Jeju. And as much as you were hurting, so was he.

Well, since both of you were in apology mode.

“I’m sorry too,” you said. “Growing up, it was only me. I had to do everything myself because my parents weren’t really there for me, and so I always felt like I didn’t want to bother others with my burdens. I know it’s not an excuse, but I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to do everything alone—that it’s okay to ask for help. So, I’m sorry I never communicated well and kept things from you.”

He licked his lips, thinking about how new this was all for him—you baring your feelings. “No, that makes sense. I get it.”

“You do?”

“I mean—I’m not perfect either. We both made mistakes, but you’re wrong about one thing.”

You raised your eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“You had me and Yuna, and you know my mom loves you like you’re her own. She might love you more than she loves me,” he said. “And you know you can always tell me what’s going on. I’ll always be here for you—no matter what happens between us.”

You grinned because he was right. You had overlooked the huge part that their family played in your life. You couldn’t discount that.

“If there’s one thing I truly regret from all of this—it’s cutting ramen out of my diet since I’ve moved here,” he joked to lighten the mood.

You dramatically gasped, covering your mouth. “You cut ramen from your diet? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”

The two of you giggled.

“I guess we’ve both done some growing up, huh?” Jungkook knocked his knee into yours.

“Yeah, looks like it.”

“So, what now?”

You shrugged, unsure of Jungkook’s feelings, but you wanted to express yours. “I don’t want to wake up one day and regret not trying again. I want you. I want all of you, but I'm scared—scared that I'll get hurt and go back to my old ways. I’ve had a lot of healing, and I'm in a good place, but seeing you again, being near you, makes me want to forget everything that has happened and jump in your arms and tear off your clothes.”

Jungkook covered his mouth as he silently chuckled at your confession.

“Are you basking in my misery?” you sneered.

His lips turned into a pout as he shook his head. “No, I just—this is what I wanted all along while we were dating.”

“What? Me acting like a fool?”

“No—you telling me how you feel, tell me how much you want me, to claim me as yours.”

You opened your mouth and made a face. “You want me to grovel? Get on my knees?”

Jungkook bit his tongue when you got down on your knees in front of him. He had to tell himself and his dick to calm the fuck down because it was not the time and place to be thinking of such naughty things.

You gazed up at him; seeing him squirm was fun. “You like me on my knees?” you asked, sitting back on your legs.

He cleared his throat, adjusting his sweats as he shifted back on the couch. He thought back to the very first time you sucked him off after having dinner with Yuna and your mom. “I’m sorry. I think you were confessing your love for me. Go on. I’m all ears.”

You smacked his thigh. “I’m—you’re ruining this moment!”

“I’m ruining it? You’re the one who got down on your knees! You know how much I love that,” he mumbled the last of his words.

You turned and cupped your ear toward him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that.”

“Just—go on. You were saying?” He cocked his head to the side, waiting for you.

You huffed, tilting your head back before landing on his sparkly doe eyes and cute little dimple peeking through. “I am stupidly in love with you, Jeon Jungkook, and I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you again.”

Jungkook felt a sense of relief when he heard those words, but there was still a small sliver of fear. “What if we’re just fooling ourselves into thinking this will work?”

“Then I guess we can be fools together.”

After baring your soul to Jungkook, you wanted nothing more than to jump into his lap and ride him like an endless merry-go-round, but you’ve changed and didn’t want to regret anything going forward with him. The two of you needed to take things slow and steady because you wanted to win the race.

The two of you stayed up late—talking, drinking beer, and catching each other up on life until the sun came up. It was like no time had passed, and you picked up right where you left off.

Bam had taken a liking to you, staying by your side, following you whenever you got up and moved around. He wouldn’t let you out of his sight. He definitely took after Jungkook.

The size of your bladder warranted another trip to the bathroom, and when you returned to where Jungkook and Bam were, you noticed Jungkook in a compromising position.

“Why are you on one knee? Are you taking a page out of my book?” you teased, not wanting to jump to any conclusions because you both agreed on taking it slow.

Without an answer, he took out something he was hiding behind his back. He held a blue velvet box in the palm of his hand.

Your eyes widened, and your heart raced rapidly because you knew exactly where that box was from. You and Yuna had looked at engagement rings for hours on end when the two of you thought Namjoon was getting ready to propose. You had mentioned it too many times to Jungkook while the two of you were dating. There’s no way he’d be proposing, right?

This whole thing with Jungkook was new—well, not really new, but you’d have to turn him down if he were to ask your hand in marriage. You were definitely not ready because the two of you had just agreed to try this relationship again.

“What the fuck is that? It better be a ring pop,” you implored. He slowly shook his head, beaming a smile from ear to ear. You repeated ‘no’ under your breath, shaking your head.

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Oh—I know what it is!”

Jungkook leaned over on his knee toward you. “Okay, so tell me.”

“It’s—it’s the ring that I couldn’t stop talking about. Why do you have it?”

He giggled at how cute and flustered you had become. “For once, you’re wrong.”

“I’m never wrong,” you huffed.

He stood, making his way to you, lifting your chin with his index finger. He stared deeply into your eyes. “You are completely and utterly wrong.”

You pouted and crossed your arms. “Prove it.”

Jungkook sighed at how stubborn you were. He opened the blue velvet box, and it was not the ring you had envisioned. “It’s a promise ring.” Because it was the ring that complimented the engagement set.

You visibly gulped, and there was a sense of relief. “A promise ring?”

He nodded. “You are everything I could ever want and more. It’s always been you, and there’s gonna be no one else for me. You are worth walking through hell and back, and considering we’ve done that already—I’d do it again if I had to, but please, please—I don’t want to do it again,” he pleaded, making you smile. “If you’ll let me, I want to love you and show you I’m worthy of your love every day for the rest of my life.”

You found yourself grinning from ear to ear, loving his little declaration of love. You moved closer to him, looking at the ring and then at him. “I want to make this right—us. I was wrong for not fighting for you—for us, and I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

He pulled the ring from the box, grabbed your left hand, and placed the piece of jewelry on your finger. “We’re in this together—you and me.”

You glanced at the ring, smiling at how pretty it looked on your finger. “You and me.”

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours—you flew to LA, had your meeting, and rekindled your relationship with Jungkook. The last thing wasn’t anything you expected, but it became the silver lining to this short trip you were dreading in the first place.

The pair of you couldn’t stop smiling and giggling in the elevator up to your hotel room–mind you, you’d kept your distance from him the entire night, but it was becoming pure and complete utter torture.

Your time in LA was already coming to an end, and everything in you wanted to just leave your life behind and stay, but you had to resist; you had to fight it—at least for now.

“So,” you trailed off, unsure what to say to him.

“So,” he repeated, leaning next to your door.

You both smiled and laughed at the tension filling the hallway.

“Do you,” you paused to think through your words, “want to come in until I have to leave?” This was a good boundary, you thought–just until you had to leave for the airport.

Jungkook licked his lips, flipping his lip ring back and forth with his tongue. His eyes explored your face before landing on your lips. “I’d love to, but we know if I do, then you won't get anything packed, and you’ll for sure miss your flight.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, and playfully smacked his chest. “I have no idea what you’re alluding to, mister.”

But you fucking knew and wanted it too.

He eliminated the distance between you, slowly caging you against the door. You closed your eyes when he gently caressed your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You had forgotten how much you had missed his touch—your body was glowing inside, illuminated from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You wanted nothing but to savor this moment—a moment you thought ceased to exist, a moment you thought only existed in your reveries.

The tiny hairs on your skin, tingling, standing on their end in anticipation of an expected kiss. All this tension was killing you softly.

His other hand snaked around the nape of your neck, pulling you even closer. Your eyes fluttered open, watching his lips part, his breaths slowing down, and you were trying to remember if they were still soft and had the faintest taste of strawberry. And you wanted to gently tug on that silver piece of jewelry and hear him whine because of it.

Your stomach somersaults like there’s a gymnast going for the gold for the floor exercise when his body brushes against yours. The twitch in his black sweats is what really makes you melt and clench around nothing. It's been far too long since you've been touched, and he was the only one that could bring you pleasure.

“Can I kiss you?” His eyes are desperately darting back and forth between yours, waiting for your okay.

“Please,” you pleaded, almost inaudible if he wasn't so close.

He doesn’t go right in like you expected. He took his time, both hands cupping your face and your hands gripping his tiny waist like nothing had ever stopped between the two of you. The tip of his nose nudged yours, his lips lightly feathering across the top of your lips—not going in just yet. His warm hot breath fans the ever-growing desire within you. It was thrilling for him to rediscover everything he loved about you.

You closed your eyes in excitement, scrunching the bottom of his shirt in your hands. You slightly tugged on it, wanting him to hurry and just fucking kiss you already. You had never known him to be so careful, so gentle.

He giggled at your frustration. “I thought we were taking things slow.”

You deadpanned. “It’s too slow,” you whined, trying to reach for his lips, but he pulled back. “I thought you wanted to kiss me?”

Jungkook flashed a soft smile, his dimple on display. “I do.”

“Then shut up and do it already,” you pouted. You couldn't handle the teasing between you anymore. You wanted to make up for everything lost within the last year. If you had all the time in the world, you’d want him to do anything and everything to you, but that day would have to wait.

He tilted his head and leaned in; his nose nuzzled into the side of your face, and the deep yearning you’d hidden inside was released as his lips finally found yours. Lips on lips delicately caressing and wandering like the two of you were in a drought, in desperate search of food and water.

You gently nipped on his bottom lip, lightly pulling on his ring before kissing the side of his mouth. He grinned, thinking he’d get you back for that, not today but soon. Your hands traced the curves of his body, causing him to press himself further into you. The evident erection in his sweats tells you how much he was enjoying this too.

The kiss became heated and fervent, like an all-consuming fire taking everything in its path. Your hands are placed on his toned chest, holding on for dear life as he presses you against the door, breathing life back into you like your life depends on it.

You pulled back, gasping for air, but he leaned in, wanting just a bit more. You’re intoxicating, and he’s greedy. He’s a man starved from your touch and kisses. There’s no way he’ll ever let you go again. He’d fight for you until his very last breath.

Your arms drape around his neck, your fingers twirling and tugging at the ends of his long hair. You deepen the kiss, your warm tongue nipping at his mouth, begging for more access to him. Kissing isn't enough anymore. You needed him—all of him. To rediscover his deepest desires, wants, and needs was the only job you wanted right now.

Jungkook withdrew from your kiss. “You have to pack.”

You took a moment to catch your breath. “Or you can come inside and help me pack.” You moved in again for another kiss, but he resisted.

“I would love that, but…” he trailed off, letting the desire within subside.

Your lips thinned. “But then we wouldn’t be taking it slow, would we?” He nods. “I should pack.”

He leaned in to quickly give you a peck on the lips. “Mm, you should.”

Your shoulders slump, and you tilt your head against the door. “But I don’t want to.”

“But you have to.” You groaned and stomped your feet like baby Indie. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Not soon enough.”

bonus (jk pov - hotel)

“Sorry, I got here early, but some lady was taking forever to get her luggage,” the driver said as Jungkook’s colleague opened the door.

"You coming?" His colleague asked from inside the car.

"...uh, you go on without me. I left my phone inside. I'll catch an Uber."

His colleague shrugged and shut the door behind him before the car took off. Jungkook stood before the hotel's entrance, unsure whether to enter or just leave.

He thought he saw you while waiting outside the restaurant, but he figured it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. Even if it was really you, he wasn't sure he was ready to face you, let alone know what to say. He abruptly left without explaining his actions. He didn't think when he did it, which was a stupid, rash decision he later regretted. He couldn't bear the heartache of being so close to you.

The plan was to get as far away as possible so he could forget, but the problem was that he couldn't. You were the love of his life (yes, even at the tender age of 25). He had no desire for anyone else. Even when gorgeous women were flinging themselves at him in this new city. He wasn't concerned with them because they weren't you.

Everything made him think of you. From peonies to hot tubs and even bowling. He'd go back and say goodbye if he could. He despised the way things ended.

Before he knew it, his foot had stepped past the sliding glass door, heading in, unsure of where even to begin. He began his search as he walked through the lobby, peering at the reception desk.

He noticed a woman standing at the counter. Maybe your hair had grown out. Approaching the woman, he tapped them on the shoulder. "Noona..."

When the woman turned around, Jungkook quickly apologized before returning and going on the hunt for you. You may have already gone to your room, but he wasn't about to give up so easily. He'd be sorry if he missed you by a millisecond. Could his eyes be deceiving him? Maybe he didn't see you just standing there. Maybe he missed you so much that he imagined everything.

He told himself he'd look for ten minutes before giving up and going home. He walked around the lobby, past the reception desk, down the hallway, and even took the elevator up a few floors before returning down.

He was sure the workers thought he was creeping around and wouldn't be surprised if they had called security. He only had a few minutes before calling it quits and heading home. He walked past the restaurant he was just at, then took a few steps back.

What if you had gone to get a drink?

It didn't take long for him to notice you sitting alone at the bar, waving the bartender down to order. His eyes were not deceiving him; he was not insane.

It was you.

You were absolutely stunning, he thought. Even after a year apart, you’d become more beautiful than ever. He needed a moment to take you all in because he didn’t think he’d ever see you again—here in LA.

Every heartbeat was like a metronome, keeping in sync with every step he took toward you. He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes as he stood behind you, his mind racing with the right words—what would he say after a year?

“Is this seat taken?”

Fuck—if he could, he’d punch himself. He could’ve come up with something better.

✨ next ~ drabble ~ dream bigger, darling

#jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #fic: this is us #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook noona #jungkook drama #jungkook romance #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts x you #bts x reader #bts x y/n

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euphoniumpets · 1 year

Text

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM | CHAPTER SIX

Prompt: ''As long as I can rememer, I've been protecting Alina, it's always Alina who I will protect,'' You told him, looking at Nikolai. ''But who will protect you?''

Warnings: Violence, blood and gore.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! Reader

Taglist: @lyria-skyfall@khaleesihavilliard@shine101 @waddlingwanderer @clqudias @ducks118 @xceafh@peakyispunk @wilmasvensson @parbatai-winchester @priincehoseok@riot-in-my-soulsoul @feyredarling92 @vendy021 @ssprayberrythings @goldenpoison @shine101@lili-of-the-dream @xushisuxi @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy@jennylil@themermaidscales82

Tag list are closed!

A/N: the plot thickens y'all and this is a long chapter so be prepared! also, two chapters in a week who am i? i couldn't help myself but to publish this chapter lmao

old masterlist | navi | new masterlist

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - epilogue

‘’Alina!’’

You screamed at the top of your lungs while you tried to run after the carriage. You heard Mal’s voice next to you as both of you tried to get to her. ‘’Alina,’’ You whispered when you couldn’t run anymore. It was no use running anymore, and your hope was gone when you saw her being dragged away by the other Grisha.

You couldn’t believe your own eyes when you saw that your sister was a Sun Summoner, from the moment you got into the Fold and then when one of the Volcra grabbed her, you saw a searing burst of light appear. You couldn’t believe it yourself when you saw the light from General Kirigian’s tent appear after you had woken up.

You didn’t know where Mal went next after that. You walked around the camp to try and find him to explain that you both needed to get Alina. You weren’t going to let go of your sister that easily, and you know that Mal wasn’t either.

The next days at the camp, all of you gathered as the captain delivered the letters to them from their loved ones. You hoped that Alina had the time to write letters to you and Mal after she got taken to Os Alta. However, you looked at your captain with disappointment when he didn’t call your name. ‘’You know, she’s probably busy,’’ You replied when you noticed Mal’s expression and tried to ignore Mikhael and Dubrov’s conversation next to you.

Mal didn’t answer, and you sighed knowing that he was sad that Alina didn’t even write back to you. ‘’Pathfinders, a new open assignment has come down from Os Alta,’’ Bohdan informed, and you snapped your head to him with a curious expression. ‘’Every unit north of Chernast is tasked with volunteering a tracking party, General Kirigian is offering a visit to the Little Palace for the one who can find Morozova’s stag,’’

You and Mal met each other’s gazes at the information. You two knew one thing, Alina. If you two volunteered you could be with Alina at the little palace. You went back for the drawing in Bohdan’s hands when you heard the people chuckle. You knew the stories and the tales about the stag being a myth, but if your sister is the sun summoner, you didn’t know what to believe anymore.

You narrowed your eyes at the drawing and you knew the drawing was coming from Alina. She was a gifted drawing from what you’d seen. ‘’That’s right, the ancient, mythical creature,’’ Bodhan spoke. ‘’Except in the flesh, if you please,’’ He replied and scrolled up the roll. ‘’So, volunteers?’’ You looked at your team and heard they were all chuckling with disbelief. ‘’The black general has finally lost it,’’ You heard Dubrov speak with disbelief.

‘’Wasting our soldiers on Second Army nonsense, now they have a sun summoner, all the old folk tales are back on the table,’’ Bodhan spoke and you felt some of the gazes on you. You and Mal gave each other a look before you two raised your hands. ‘’We’ll do it,’’ You spoke with confidence in your voice. ‘’We’ll go,’’ Mal added.

Finding the stag was tricky in the cold as you four kept walking in the forest. ‘’What’s that in your hand?’’ You heard Mikhael ask from behind. You sighed and shook your head towards your friends. Sometimes, you found it hard to believe that the two of them was your friends. ‘’Nothing,’’ Dubrov answered. ‘’Did you pick up the stag shit, Dubrov?’’ Mikhael questioned. ‘’In case we don’t find the actual stag,’’ You saw Mal bent down on the ground. ‘’You found anything?’’ You asked him. ‘’We’re close,’’ You heard him reply and you nodded. ‘’This way,’’ Mal spoke as you followed after.

Several days had gone and you slowly began to lose hope to find the stag but you tried to believe in Mal. You had a strange gut feeling that you were close than ever and that you couldn’t describe. You missed Alina, you couldn’t remember how long it was that you two had been keeping apart for so long. Sure, the two of you were separated before you’d been assigned to the first army but you still kept in touch. And now when she didn’t answer your letters or even returned them, it felt strange.

The wind slapped against your face and you shivered but you kept walking forward. ‘’What’s worse? The frost or the Fold?’’ You heard Dubrov's question. ‘’The Fold,’’ You all answered. Mal stopped in his tracks for a moment before facing you as he wrapped another scarf. ‘’I’m fine,’’ You uttered as he gave you a look in response. ‘’You’re shivering, what would Alina say when she got to know that you died in the frost?’’ Mal questioned.

‘’Well, she would kill me and then you and then me again,’’ You remarked as you heard him chuckle before you walked again. You sighed with exhaustion and stopped when you heard Mikhael’s voice. ‘’We’re crossing into Fjerdan territory,’’ He shouted through the stormy winds. You all turned back to him as you saw the mark on the tree. ‘’No,’’ You heard Dubrov reply and you looked at him with confusion. ‘’Ash trees are sacred, they won’t mark them,’’ Mikhael explained. ‘’Are you sure the herd went that way?’’ Dubrov asked Mal hesitantly.

‘’Last chance to turn around,’’ Mal responded. ‘’And have you two split the prize? Keep up!’’ Mikhael said with a grin and walked before you. You and Mal gave each other a look before following after them.

Night had fallen, and you kept shivering in the tent next to Mal. You couldn’t sleep, and Mal had drifted off when he told you that he was going on the first watch. You saw his eyelids fluttering shut, and you smiled softly at him. You twisted and turned, and with a frustrating sigh, you gave up trying to fall asleep in the cold. You pulled your blanket off your body and put on your clothes before walking out in the cold silence.

You took a deep breath when you felt the cold on your face as you gripped your rifle tightly before looking at your surroundings. Suddenly, you felt a strange feeling on the tip of your stomach. You didn’t know why, but you heard a noise from deeper inside the woods, and you spared a final glance at the tent before following the sound.

‘’Y/N? What is it?’’ You heard Mikhael whisper as he held the lamp in his hand. You snapped your head around and saw a Fjerdan choking Mikhael in the darkness. You pointed your rifle, and before you were about to shoot, you realized that your gun wasn’t loaded. ‘’Shit,’’ You cursed with panic and dropped the rifle before sprinting toward Mikhael and the Fjerdan. You threw a punch and saw him fall unconscious. You let out a yelp with surprise when another one came from nowhere and with your quick reflexes you dodged the bullet and grabbed his rifle before throwing him a punch.

You dodged his punches and you heard a gunshot in the air firing at the Fjerdan as you saw Dubrov not far away with his rifle. You grunted when another Fjerdan tackled you down on the ground. ‘’Y/N!’’ You heard Mal exclaim before he tackled the Fjerdan away from you. You gasped and saw Fjerdan grab his knife while Mal tried to dodge his attacks. You looked around at your surroundings before grabbing a stick and swinging it against his head.

The Fjerdan fell over to Mal’s side unconscious. ‘’Y/N, Mal, Help!’’ You heard Dubrov’s call. You grabbed the rifle that you knocked on one of the Fjerdans and began to run to Dubrov. However, you felt rope attaching to your feet, making you stumble and fall on the ground with a grunt. You looked around and saw Mal was on the ground as well as he tried to cut the rope off with his knife before tossing it to you.

You grabbed the knife quickly before cutting the ropes off and you heard a gunshot coming off. You grabbed your rifle and saw Mikhael shoot the Fjerdan’s head off. ‘’Is that all of them?’’ You asked him as you all gathered together in a circle and looked at your surroundings. You gripped your rifle tightly and you saw Mal taking steps forward and the next thing you knew, you saw bullets, and Mal falling to the ground.

You fell on the ground as you felt blood coming from your mouth as one of the Fjerdans punched you. You grunted and groaned in pain when you felt him knock you down to the ground. You whimpered in pain as your eyes were glossy when you saw Mal lying on the ground and he didn’t move at all. You begged the saints that he was alive and you tried to fight to keep yourself alive. You let out a sob when you saw one of the Fjerdans pierce a sword into Mikhael’s stomach and you closed your eyes in pain when you heard his scream.

‘’She’s a stubborn one,’’ You heard one of them comment as he kicked you, making you grunt. ‘’Make sure the other one is dead and kill her quickly,’’ One of them spoke. You felt someone grab you and you tried to fight him off but you were too weak. You let out a scream and before you knew it you heard a gunshot.

You gasped when you felt the Fjerdan release you and drop to the ground. You turned to your side and saw Mal moving. ‘’Mal,’’ You spoke, your voice weak as he walked towards you with wobbly steps. ‘’I got you, I got you,’’ He replied as he held you. ‘’They’re gone,’’ You sobbed.

‘’They’re gone,’’ You cried in his arms as Mal looked at his dead friends on the ground. ‘’It’s okay, we’re okay,’’ Mal spoke, trying to keep it together but both of you knew the price of looking for the stag. You and Mal didn’t move for a while before Mal said your name. ‘’Y/N,’’ He spoke. ‘’Look,’’ Mal replied. You turned your head slowly and then you heard the faint noise approaching you.

You and Mal didn’t get up from the ground and you didn’t let go of his embrace as you widened your eyes when you saw the stag approaching you closer. You gasped when you saw its beauty and when you met the stag’s eyes, you could see the look of understanding and when you looked into its eyes, you could see your reflection.

You and Mal returned to the camp several days later and you still mourned for your friends. You explained to Bohdan that you found the stag and the next thing you knew, you were on your way to the little palace. Your heart began to fill with hope and you were excited to see Alina again. You and Mal waited in the room and you looked at your surroundings as soon as you arrived at the palace. You found it magnificent and you couldn’t help but look and touch everything.

‘’Y/N, put it down,’’ Mal warned you and you rolled your eyes and put the thing down at the table.

‘’These are the two who claim they found the stag?’’ The door opened and you turned around, meeting General Kirigian. ‘’Well, technically, he did,’’ You corrected him and ignored Mal’s expression on you. You met Kirigian’s eyes and you saw that he had an unreadable expression when he met your eyes.

‘’And you are?’’ He asked and narrowed his eyes. ‘’Malyen Oretsev,’’ Mal spoke. ‘’Y/N Starkov,’’ You replied as General Kirigian looked at you with interest. ‘’Starkov? You’re Alina’s sister, aren’t you?’’ He questioned and you nodded. ‘’Yes,’’ You replied. ‘’You’ve heard of me?’’ You questioned hesitantly. ‘’Yes, she speaks highly of you,’’

‘’And you must be Mal, then,’’ General Kirigian spoke and looked at Mal with a smile. ‘’What a surprise,’’ He spoke. ‘’Leave us,’’ General Kirigian spoke as the others in the room left. ‘’So, there is a lot of deer in the wild,’’ He said and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. ‘’How do you know you found the right stag?’’ He asked. Mal pulled the drawing from his pocket and showed him the same drawing that Bohdan had and placed it on the table. ‘’It was this one,’’

‘’You’re certain?’’ He asked. ‘’Positive,’’ You remarked. ‘’Twice as big as any other, all white,’’ Mal responded. ‘’When it looked at me head on, its antlers, they…’’ You trailed off, trying to find the words. ‘’What?’’ He asked with curiosity. ‘’I think I saw that,’’ You said and pointed at the strange drawing on the book. ‘’Was it alone? With a herd?’’

‘’It had traveled with a small herd, but when I encountered it, it was alone,’’ Mal responded. ‘’Grazing,’’ You added as Mal nodded in agreement. ‘’Show me where,’’ General Kirigian spoke as he took a map and placed it on the table. ‘’North of Chernast,’’ Mal spoke.

‘’No, precisely, mark it for me,’’ General Kirigian spoke, making you and Mal look at each other before looking at him. ‘’Not until we see Alina,’’ You spoke. ‘’I beg your pardon?’’

‘’We know her, I am her sister and Mal’s her friend,’’ You told him sternly. ‘’You let us see her, we’ll tell you where the Stag is,’’ You said and tried to negotiate with him. ‘’Do you how many claims to know the Sun Summoner?’’ He asked. ‘’I am her sister,’’ You responded. ‘’And how many claims to be her sister?’’ General Kirigian asked. ‘’Try to get a meeting with her just to be in her presence?’’

‘’Ask her about us,’’ Mal told him. ‘’Tell me something that only a few about her would know,’’ General said. ‘’Something, personal,’’

‘’Like what?’’ You asked and narrowed your eyes in confusion. ‘’Like, what’s her favorite flower?’’ He asked. ‘’Or what kind of books-’’

‘’Iris,’’ Mal interrupted. ‘’The blue ones, not the white,’’ You added. ‘’Alright, I’ll have you two shown a room here,’’ Kirigian spoke. ‘’And, assuming that she proves you right, I’ll bring her to you two later,’’

‘’Fair?’’

Baghra was an odd woman. You’d had to take her that. From the moment you met her to see Alina’s powers and her training, she had spoken nonsense. Mal and Alina argued with each other after you received the news of the stag and he decided to leave instead of staying there with the two of you. You tried to get some sense in him, but he was too stubborn, and you wouldn’t leave her again.

So, you stayed with her, watching her train with the other Grisha and exploring the palace. You couldn’t help but worry about Mal at the same time but you knew that he could take care of himself. While you explored the little palace, you and the General had become close friends too. You didn’t trust him at first, but after proving himself the two of you became friends.

Alina had left you and Baghra alone after her training and you didn’t understand why at first after she began to tell you the tales of the amplifiers. ‘’What’s the point of this lesson?’’ You asked her as you felt her whack you with the stick. ‘’Ow!’’ You exclaimed and rubbed at your arm in comfort.

‘’To know who exactly you are, and where you came from,’’ You looked at her. ‘’I’ve already told you, I’m nothing more than Alina’s sister and a fighter,’’ You responded. ‘’You told me by yourself, ever since you found the Stag, you felt something, didn’t you?’’ Baghra questioned and faced you.

‘’You could’ve told Aleksander that, but you didn’t,’’ Baghra replied. ‘’I didn’t trust him,’’ You said. ‘’And do you trust him now?’’ Baghra asked and looked at you carefully and you didn’t say anything. Do you trust him? After he showed you kindness and the weakest point of him, just like he did with Alina. A part of you, perhaps always knew that you shouldn’t trust him. ‘’There’s a reason why you felt the Stag, Y/N,’’ Baghra revealed.

‘’You’re the Firebird,’’

‘’But I thought the Firebird was a creature? And not a human,’’ You replied with confusion. ‘’You are a descendant of the Firebird and there’s a reason why you’ve always felt why you need to protect Alina,’’ Baghra informed. ‘’You are her protector, Y/N, and this is why the reason I’m telling you because she’s in danger and you’re the only one who can protect her,’’

‘’Who else knows?’’ You asked. ‘’Only me, but listen closely, hide your secret, don’t tell anyone until when the time is right,’’

‘’Protect her, Y/N,’’

Those were the last words from Baghra after she helped you and Alina escape from Aleksander. You were terrified that day; heartbroken when Aleksander showed himself who he was. You kept your secret from Alina and Mal even though it hurt you and when they mentioned finding the Firebird, you knew that you needed to expose your secret. You knew the day was about to come and you didn’t think of your death that often. But you thought it was time since your time was running out.

Your mind went back to Nikolai and you felt your heart crack at the thought of him. You knew that Nikolai deserved someone better than you. He deserved someone to love him and you wished that you could be that person.

After debating the proposal he had given you earlier, you found yourself walking through the corridors and to his door. You didn’t think before you found yourself standing in front of his door and knocked. As his door opened, you looked at him with a surprised expression since you didn’t expect to see him half-naked with his robes open. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment when your eyes trailed slightly down at his stomach and you saw in the corner of your eyes that he smirked.

‘’Are you here to consider the offer of going into my bed, Starkov?’’ Nikolai teased when he saw the flushed cheeks. You shook your head and tried to snap out of the thought of him naked in your mind. ‘’I’m here about the proposal,’’ You replied and looked at him seriously.

‘’Yes?’’

‘’I agree, but only under one condition,’’ You suggested. You looked at him for approval as he nodded. ‘’Go on,’’ Nikolai replied and narrowed his eyes. ‘’I will accept the proposal, but whatever I do base on my actions, you, Mal, and Alina cannot interfere,’’

Nikolai stood there with a stunned expression. ‘’You know I can’t do that,’’ Nikolai replied before continuing. ‘’I know, but please promise me, whatever I do, you cannot interfere or stop me,’’ You begged him.

‘’I promise,’’

‘’You do?’’

‘’I do,’’

please comment down below what you'd thought of this chapter and remember reblogging always helps!

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #alina starkov #aleksander kirigan x reader #malyen oretsev #inej gafha #jesper fahey #six of crows #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #kaz brekker

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