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gretchensinister · 3 years

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Little Souls and Careless Gods: An Exploration of Worldbuilding in Toy Story

Sid did nothing wrong.

Or, let me clarify. The things Sid did wrong were: taking his sister’s toys and modifying them without her permission. That’s it.

Hi, my name is gretchensinister and I have a lot of thoughts about the worldbuilding in Toy Story.

I should admit at this point that I haven’t seen Toy Story 4, only talked about it with someone who has, so if some of my questions are answered by that movie or if it torpedoes some of my speculations, that’s just—that’s just an imperfection of this essay.

I barely know where to begin, but, I started with Sid, so I’ll keep going with Sid. Sid is a kid. Sid is a jerk to his younger sister, but she’s freely yelling across the house tattling on him, so it doesn’t seem like she’s suffering irreparable damage from this. Other things Sid does: wins a squeaky toy for his dog in a claw machine game, blows up toys with fireworks, takes toys apart and joins them to other toys to make new toys. Burns a toy with a magnifying glass.

None of these things is an immoral action, for a person who, through all lived experience (until the toy attack) understands that toys are objects. It’s not bad to give your dog an object to chew on. It’s not bad (morally) to blow up an object with a firework. It’s not bad to take objects (that are yours) and make them into new, different objects. It’s not bad to burn an object with a magnifying glass. From the toys’ perspective, Sid is a sadistic mad scientist type, but from everything he could possibly know, his “torture” of Woody is messing around with an object! His object! That he got from a claw machine! The pretend torture as a choice of play is worth questioning, but it’s not so uncommon as a media trope that an average kid would never have seen anything like that in an action-adventure context. And it doesn’t predict how Sid will treat actual living beings!

(As an aside, I’m firmly of the belief that if you own an object, you should feel free to do whatever you want with it. Set it on fire, take it apart to see how it works, use it as raw materials in a craft project, etc. And yeah I would make exceptions to this rule for like, privately owned culturally significant art or scientifically significant artifacts…but if they’re that significant…they shouldn’t be privately owned.)

So yeah. Sid gets traumatized because he treats objects like objects, and the objects don’t like that. Because they’re actually alive and have now promised to constantly surveil him.

And let’s be clear: Andy doesn’t know toys are alive, either. He never does. He just has a different play style than Sid, and more of an interest in keeping his toys intact. Andy has no empathy with Woody and Buzz, because he is not aware that they are beings that he could empathize with.

All right. Beyond Sid, what I really want to talk about is the nature of a toy’s mind/soul in the Toy Story universe. I will call this the toy’s animus. Much like with the soul and mind of a human being, the animus raises several questions. How is the animus created? Where does the animus reside? Is the animus a tabula rasa, or does it possess innate knowledge? Where does this innate knowledge come from, if so? Is the animus mortal or immortal?

The Toy Story universe offers various pieces of evidence to answer these questions, and they are all extremely worrying if toys and humans are both morally significant beings, though humans do not know this about toys.

Is a toy mortal or immortal?

In the Toy Story movies it is clear that toys believe they can die. Sufficient destruction of the body would cause a toy’s death. Sid’s plan to blow up Buzz Lightyear with a firework threatens his life. In Toy Story 3, the toys in the trash incinerator clearly believe that burning/melting will kill them. But, short of catastrophic destruction of the body, toys are immortal. Jessie suffers, but does not die, from withdrawal of her owner’s love. Stinky Pete was never played with by a child, and he’s alive as any other toy. Additionally, human-mimicking toys are not killed even when damaged in ways that would kill a human, though this does affect their ability to communicate. In the tea party scene in Toy Story, the headless dolls wave when they are referred to. (This raises more questions—how does a headless doll experience the world? They can still hear, but how? Also, why doesn’t the headless teddy bear move? Perhaps they simply don’t want to get involved in whatever’s going on with Woody and Buzz.)

I think, according to what we see in the movies, the animus is divisible, and each part of the divided animus contains only a portion of the cognitive ability of the whole. Moreover, the animus is not centered in the head, but rather dispersed throughout the body. I would further argue that splitting the body/splitting the animus, is traumatic, even when reversible. Consider that Buzz’s mental breakdown coincides with the detachment of his arm.

What does this mean for Sid’s creations? Well, it would explain why they don’t talk. The baby-doll head with the spiderlike erector-set body (aside: is this a reference to The Thing (1982)?) really has no reason to be mute, if a toy simply must have a mouth to speak. Its form is unconventional, but, I would say, still “complete.” But if the head only carries an incomplete animus, and the erector set parts carry no animus of their own (an assumption which will be questioned later) then the whole toy would not have enough animus for verbal communication.

Janie the doll and the pterodactyl, with their switched heads, suffer significant disruption of their animi. Would their fractured animi eventually merge to form a new animus for each new body, with a different personality than Janie or pterodactyl? What part of the “Barbie” personality lingers in the animus of the toy crane with Barbie legs?

There is an exception to the concept of the fractured animus, however, and that is Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Potato Head exists in several parts to begin with, and mere separation does not fracture the animus. Curiously, though, some parts of Mr. Potato Head do not appear to contain any part of his animus, such as his plastic potato body. He retains all of his personality and ability to communicate when he has to put his features on a tortilla (?—don’t remember this part well) even though he is from an era of Mr. Potato Heads where his features are only meant to be put in the plastic potato body, not random foodstuffs. (Another question here: what would happen if an even amount of Mrs. Potato Head and Mr. Potato Head features were put on one plastic potato body? Do both animi retain coherence?) It is impossible not to wonder how far apart the features of Mr. Potato Head could be spread and the animus remain whole. At least as far apart as different buildings, as shown in Toy Story 3, but how much farther?

Creation of the animus and innate knowledge.

We are now about to embark on the specific topic that fills my thoughts now when I think about the Toy Story universe. I believe I will first fix myself a vodka cranberry (note: not just vodka and cranberry juice. To make it properly you must also add a splash each of orange juice and lime juice) and read a synopsis of Toy Story 4. Forky’s creation is a deep source of trouble here, and I must fortify myself to face it.

Where do I even begin? Okay. Bonnie, a kindergartner, creates Forky from items salvaged from the trash and names him. He comes to life after being named. According to the synopsis Forky then suffers an existential crisis because he believes he his trash and not a toy. So in this case, the animus appears to arrive after naming, and the animus is not a tabula rasa. The history of the materials appears to have some effect on the animus? (What this might mean for Rex or the plastic army men is especially concerning here.) It doesn’t make sense for Bonnie to think of Forky as trash, so this conviction has entered Forky’s animus from somewhere other than his creator. Also Bonnie has created sentient life without being aware of doing so, probably before being able to write a full sentence.

That’s troubling enough, because, to the eyes of adults or even older children, Forky is garbage. I project Forky’s lifespan of play to be that of months. And he won’t get passed onto other children. Depending on how Bonnie’s community disposes of trash, he may linger with an intact animus, at a landfill, for longer than Bonnie’s own life. It boggles the mind. (And invites hoarding in the empathetic.) However, despite all this, I would be cool with it if this was the only way toys became animate: being owned/named/played with by a child. That could be a complete worldbuilding conceit.

But that’s NOT how animi are generally formed in the Toy Story universe. Let’s back up to Toy Story. Buzz Lightyear has a personality and memories of his history as a space ranger right out of his box. And as we see in Toy Story 2, every Buzz Lightyear comes with that same initial personality. A commercial in Toy Story shows aisles upon aisles of Buzz Lightyears. Something has enabled the creation of thousands, if not millions, of identical animi. There is no direction this can go that isn’t kind of batshit.

Buzz Lightyear and the story that forms his memories were designed and created by adults. It was someone’s (and probably a team’s) job to design a toy that would be popular for a specific demographic, with (if I remember correctly) a cartoon that elaborates on the story and can basically serve as a long-running commercial for the toy. There were probably team meetings, and focus groups, and brand analysis to come up with the name “Buzz Lightyear.” And in such an endeavor, while I would like to imagine that there were some truly creative people involved who cared about the design and story, the people involved would not be the ones playing with the toys as toys want to be played with. And this is where every Buzz Lightyear animus comes from? But how? A manager or director approves the name and then…what? Is there a wellspring of animus that forms? Is it tied to the prototype? The factory workers in Taiwan don’t care about Buzz Lightyear the way Bonnie cares about Forky, and yet their actions in completing Buzz Lightyears call the animi to the plastic bodies. (And the animi are there, without a child’s touch. Stinky Pete was aware in his unopened box. Other toys opened a new Buzz Lightyear and got a living Buzz Lightyear.) And even leaving aside how the animi get into the Buzz Lightyears, the fact is that with millions of Buzz Lightyears out there, we have to conclude that the process that created his animus/animi is orders of magnitude more powerful than what Bonnie did to make Forky. Even assuming some personal care held by Buzz’s designers towards their design, it gets weird. The imaginations of adult toy designers are that much more powerful than a little girl creating and naming her own toy? NOT the way I would expect such a story-world to be set up, but the evidence is there.

And what if the designers of Buzz Lightyear weren’t particularly passionate? What if their boss just said “space is popular now, make me a space toy” and that’s the only reason why they did? That could very well be the case for a different type of toy in the series: the claw machine aliens. Those toys were not designed as a soulful passion project. I’m trying to write this to not be mean to designers who work in not-so-great places, but seriously. We have all seen generic toys in claw machine games before. They were not made to be immortally loved. (And yet! This is what the animus of a toy inherently desires!) Now, the claw machine aliens do seem to have much less backstory than Buzz Lightyear, and have personalities (or maybe just personality)/culture based on the nature of the claw machine. That makes sense, since they wouldn’t have been given a backstory with creation. The point is, though, that they still have animi. In the process of creating these cheap, cheap toys, by the dozens and hundreds and thousands, somehow their bodies were invested with full, identical animi. Adult, corporate creation somehow gives more life to toys than individual, child-led creation.

There are more questions to ask. If adults still have the power (and MASSIVELY MORE power) to invest toys with animi that they also possessed as children, then what can be invested with an animus? What are the limits of toy-ness in the Toy Story universe? Is it the name? I don’t think it’s the face, because there’s Woody merchandise in Toy Story 2 with Woody’s face on it that doesn’t talk. And I think that some faceless toys are shown to move independently/have an animus (possibly including things like LEGO—are the bricks a hivemind? Do the minifigs live inside sentient structures? Can they communicate with these structures? Also, if so, the erector set legs on Sid’s spider baby toy should have added to its total animus. But that’s not the corporate intent, so they’re still voiceless.). Christine (1983) could fit into this universe if the name is of primary importance (movie backstory for Christine, not book). But this would also mean that literally every boat and ship was sentient, but secretly so.*

If the name isn’t the important thing, is it the intent that the object be played with as a toy? In this case, that would mean that Bo Peep’s animus was not mass-produced, as she was originally part of a lamp if I remember correctly. Child-created animi would therefore be more common among non-toy objects than manufactured toys. I also want to bring The Brave Little Toaster (1987) up at this point. In this movie a group of appliances behave similarly to Toy Story toys in some ways, including being played with by their owner and then missing his attention to a high degree when he goes to college. However in this film all appliances and cars have animi, and I personally do not want my vacuum cleaner to feel any kind of way about me, or ever think I have played with it, because I hate vacuuming and would neglect it to death if feasible. (That being said…roombas in the Toy Story universe can hardly avoid being invested with animi, I imagine, no matter the details of the worldbuilding structure.) I bring this up, though, because Wikipedia notes that the original members of Pixar worked on The Brave Little Toaster. Toy Story was released in 1995 and was Pixar’s first feature length film. There is a connection, is what I am trying to say.

I think I have to go with: intent of the object to be a toy and/or being played with as a toy invests a toy with an animus. If it was the naming, then many, many public statues would be as alive as Woody and Buzz, and the people of Denver I’m sure have enough to worry about without Blucifer (Jiménez, 2008) galloping around. Bizarre to say that the least troubling option places mass production on a higher level of investing power than a child’s imagination. And I mean what I say about the mass produced animi being somehow more powerful than child-created animi.

Let’s go back to Sid’s creations. What is wrong with them? Why aren’t they able to communicate like Forky? Possibility 1: Sid just doesn’t have the creative power that Bonnie does. I don’t like this because, as I said at the beginning, Sid is not doing anything wrong by making these chimera toys. He’s treating objects as objects, and the difference between Sid’s chimera toys and Forky is that Forky’s component parts were not originally part of mass-produced toys. So, (from a worldbuilding/Watsonian perspective), I have to go with possibility 2, which goes like this: mass-produced toys are imbued with animi because they are toys. Sid’s chimera toys suffer from their animi being fractured when he alters them. But these fractured, mass-produced animi retain enough coherence and power that Sid, a child, cannot replace the fractured animus with whatever he imagines for his new creations. He’s an imaginative kid! But the corporate animus cannot be expelled. The factory animus is the underlying animus and cannot be removed once the toy is a toy. It can develop with memory and experience, but it will always be the toy making corporation that brought the spark of life, not the child that actually plays with the toy.

And this actually corresponds to Sid’s toys’ decision to rebel and help Woody and Buzz. Their animi are more loyal to the corporate intent that first created them. Sid made them into something new, presumably plays with them, and yet they are not Sid’s. They are meant to be read as broken and tortured (Sid has changed them from their factory-created wholeness), not as new beings. A factory-created, owned object, is meant to be held with the same level of care and maintenance of coherence as a living being in the Toy Story universe. What a child imagines about their own toys has less creative power than a distant designer who’s been told to come up with something appealing to put in a claw machine. Children only have animating power for their toys when they make them out of raw materials.

On the one hand, it’s tempting to say that of course the toys aren’t Sid’s, they’re their own people—isn’t that what having an animus means? But Woody, for example, find it very important that he’s Andy’s toy—a possession—“a child’s plaything.” Andy writes his name on him and this is very important to Woody, enough a part of his identity that when Andy’s name is painted over by the restorer in Toy Story 2 the scene reads as an erasure of something important to him, not as a restoration of his autonomy. Time and again we see that toys want to be owned by children.

This is another place where things get weird. First, I raise the question: What do toys need to keep animus and body together? Not much—only a certain baseline of bodily coherency. They don’t need to take in anything from their environment. More interesting, though, is that they don’t need anything from the children they bond to. Shelved, boxed, and forgotten toys suffer, but they don’t die from these states. No toy will ever find a toy’s corpse the way a human could find a human corpse—whole in every way except for the absence of the animating spirit.

So: toys as entities need little. The next question is then, what do toys want? Toys want to be owned and played with by a child (I say child and not children, because the communal state of the daycare in Toy Story 3 is clearly not desirable to the toys). Woody relishes his place as favorite and most played with toy at the beginning of Toy Story. In Toy Story 2 Jessie grieves when her child outgrows her. Stinky Pete was ignored by children for years, causing him to develop the abnormal belief that it would be better for the Woody’s Roundup toys to be preserved in a museum.

(At this point, I spot another thread to follow. It seems that for a toy, the most important relationship in their existence is meant to be toy + owner. In Toy Story Woody is very invested in making Buzz understand that Buzz is a toy and not a space ranger—Buzz is supposed to stay with Andy. In Toy Story 2 the consequences of not being owned by a child are grief and violence. But at the end Woody tells Buzz he’s not worried about Andy outgrowing him, since they’ll always have each other. Now, Toy Story 3 builds up Buzz/Jessie and in Toy Story 4 Bo Peep returns and Woody leaves Buzz and the other group of Andy’s toys for a life with her, but Woody also leaves the toy + owner life to be with Bo. Toys aren’t made to have an independent existence, yet this is how they end up, also acting as matchmakers to help lost toys find new owners and enter into new toy + owner relationships? THERE IS A WHOLE OTHER ESSAY HERE.)

To stay within just one rabbit hole here, however, I must focus on this: Toys want to be owned and played with by a child. They bond with child owners who do not deliberately alter their bodies (I add this because again, Sid’s toys do not appear to be bonded with him). But within this framework, there must be essential pain within a toy’s existence. Toys are immortal unless destroyed. Toys will experience actual play with a child for, let’s say, ten years, maximum, and that’s if the toy is given to the child when the child is very young and the toy is more classic/versatile than most. That’s way shorter than the best human friendships and familial relationships, and at least human beings can often reasonably hope to have lifespans that are of comparable lengths. Oh yeah, and among human beings people are usually AWARE of the relationship that’s taking place. So toys want to form deep bonds with their children and want to have these relationships last. But the relationships can’t last. I’ll gladly state that play, in some form, is necessary for humans to thrive throughout their lives, but the kind of play that the toys in Toy Story find ideal is a childhood phase of play that that most people naturally outgrow. And even if a human did engage in play ideal for toys throughout their entire life, toys are immortal unless destroyed. All toys will lose their owners, and usually after a pretty short handful of years.

The aftermath of the owner + toy relationship is always painful for the toy. What are the options? To remain owned, but not played with: perhaps the “best” option, but it still leaves the toy with only a memory of a full life. Is a shelf life really a life? This is what was facing Woody, I believe, if Andy had taken him with him to college. Another option: to be outgrown and forgotten. This is what happens to Jessie, and it is a deeply, deeply painful experience for her. She develops claustrophobia from being stored in a box. To be donated or sold at a garage sale: also a source of trauma and panic for the toys, but still better than the worst fate, to be thrown out. But toys that have been separated from their previous owners are so often grieving and/or bitter in the Toy Story series.

This is troubling, to say the least, but it also loops back to questions about the animus and memory. Toys are not tabula rasa. Buzz has a strong personality and memory set from his unboxing. Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head do not need to court each other. Tour Guide Barbie will act as a tour guide in the absence of children. But with time, and accumulation of true memories as a toy, the toys will develop their own personalities, even if the animus starting point can often remain a strong influence. In Toy Story 3, however, we learn that certain toys, such as Buzz Lightyear, can be returned to the original animus state through a factory reset. I hardly know what to do with this. It wasn’t a permanent reset; Buzz’s memories and the personality he’s developed do come back. (But now he also has access to a “Spanish mode” that is…sexier (can such a word apply?) to Jessie than his English mode. Also other toys can put him into his mode against his will. There are so many worms in this can. Sexualization of Latinx people, can a toy expect bodily autonomy from other toys, etc.?) But not every toy has a reset button. Woody doesn’t. Slinky Dog, Rex, Mr. Potato Head, etc. don’t. Does the threat of a reset only affect toys with bodily components that could be considered brain analogues, i.e., microchips? But the animus is not the “brain” and neither does the “brain” store memories/personality. I really, really don’t know what to do with this, except it seems once again to assert the ultimate strength of the adult/corporate-created animus.

The point is, toys can lose their memories, but when we see that in the movies, it leads the toy to go back to their earliest state.

Now: a mystery. In Toy Story, Woody has developed enough memory and personality that he is well aware of being a toy and is involved with the life of Andy’s room in ways that neither his sheriff role or Andy’s imagination reasonably encompasses. (Consider the “Plastic Corrosion Awareness Meeting.”) All right. This would be of no concern if Woody was a generic wild west doll, but he’s not. He was made to represent a character on the Woody’s Roundup TV show in the 1950s. He would have had an animus strongly imprinted with that backstory just like Buzz Lightyear had his strongly imprinted space ranger backstory. Well, then maybe this means that Woody just never lost his memory. That would be the best explanation. That’s why he has a personality mostly free from this imprinted backstory, having been Andy’s favorite toy for some time. But Woody has lost his memory. In Toy Story 2, Woody learns (learns!) that he’s a representation of a TV character. He meets Jessie and Bullseye and Stinky Pete without knowing who they are at all. Woody has somehow completely forgotten his origins. He experienced memory loss that brought him farther away from his animus starting point.

Okay, so there are multiple kinds of amnesia for toys; I was wrong in my earlier assertion that memory loss tends to the origin animus. But I want to keep poking at Woody’s memory issues because of something else that Woody’s timeline leads me to conclude: Andy is not Woody’s first owner, OR Woody was boxed up and forgotten for DECADES before Andy. Actually, he’s probably spent a significant amount of time in storage or on a shelf regardless of whether Andy is his first owner or not.

Toy Story was released in 1995. If the story is set in the present, then Andy is very close to my age. Now, Woody is “an old family toy” according to Toy Story 2, and Al, as a toy collector, was so thrilled and astonished to find a Woody at a garage sale that he stole him when he learned he wasn’t actually for sale. This leads me to the conclusion that Woody toys aren’t in continuous production. Woody was probably only manufactured during the height of Woody’s Roundup’s popularity, in the 1950s. So there’s two options for Woody’s ownership history. I’m also going to presume in both cases that Andy’s father was the parent that previously owned him, though there’s no reason why his mother couldn’t have been the owner.

So, option one: the young parents/young grandparents option. If Andy’s grandparents had his father when they were about twenty, and then Andy’s parents had Andy when they were about twenty, then Andy’s grandfather could have gotten Woody at ideal playing age and then later passed him down to Andy’s father and then Andy’s father would have passed him to Andy. I don’t think this is the case, though, because Woody still has his incredibly rare hat and a functional voice box. If Woody had been played with by a child at ideal playing age at the height of the popularity of his character’s show, I think it’s likely that he would have gotten played with so much (and taken to places so much) that he would have lost his hat and his voice box would have worn out. Woody didn’t start off life as a collectible, and play causes wear and tear on toys. And if Woody was originally the grandfather’s toy, then he would have gone through another round of play with Andy’s father. Woody’s condition is too good for that. Unless, that is, Andy’s whole family is made up of people who are unusually careful with their toys? That’s sort of an intriguing idea, since it means that Sid’s actions look even more horrifying by contrast, and generations of “ideal owners” for Woody obscure the bizarre nature of the life of a thinking, feeling toy. However, the Toy Story universe keeps raising questions in Toy Story 2-4 about what it means to be a toy, so there doesn’t seem to be a motivation in the series for such obscuring. This is despite the fact that Woody’s amnesia does obscure some things about the nature of a toy’s life, at least in the original Toy Story. (I know the Doylist perspective answers all this easily—this isn’t what the audience is meant to think about, Woody’s backstory as a toy from a 1950s TV show isn’t important in Toy Story, and in fact this backstory didn’t exist until Toy Story 2 was created.)

Regardless, I don’t think the young parents/young grandparents option is the right one. Instead, I choose option 2: the slightly older parents option. Woody’s Roundup is a TV show from the 1950s. It was popular enough to lead to a lot of merchandise, not just the dolls of the main characters. Brief research shows that in the 1950s television Westerns were incredibly popular, and there were Westerns made for kids and Westerns made for adults. The question I’m trying to get at here is trying to figure out how Andy’s grandparents would have known about a kid’s Western show. But, it’s really not that difficult. In this timeline I’m building now, Andy’s father would have been born in the 1950s, making him in his early-mid thirties when he became Andy’s father. Given this timeline, it’s overwhelmingly likely that Andy’s father has siblings, including older siblings, that might already watch Woody’s Roundup. Or, even if Andy’s father was the oldest child, it’s also overwhelmingly likely that Andy’s grandparents’ friends had plenty of kids of their own and probably talked among themselves about what kids liked. The significant thing in this timeline is that Woody would have been given to Andy’s father when Andy’s father was very young. Perhaps too young for a Woody doll, but perhaps also with the assumption that Andy’s father would grow into the doll. So Woody is unboxed and waits on a shelf for a couple years while Andy’s father grows a little. My theory is that Woody’s Roundup was no longer on television by the time Andy’s father was at the right age to start playing with a doll of Woody’s type. This would have two consequences. One: Andy’s father would have been unguided by the TV show in regard of how to play with Woody, meaning that Woody would have formed many memories unrelated to his original animus in this early stage of his life. Two: even though Woody was played with, he never was Andy’s father’s favorite toy, which is why he was able to be passed down to Andy in good condition (and still with his hat).

In this option 2, which I feel is more likely, Woody has probably spent at least 25 years on a shelf or in storage. So why is this important? I think it’s important because Woody doesn’t act like he’s been through the decades-in-storage experience, or the experience of having an owner outgrow him. He sympathizes with Jessie after learning her story, but he says nothing about having experienced anything like it himself. And as far as the movies are concerned, his worries about Andy outgrowing him are new worries. But they can’t be new! He’s already been outgrown at least once before! I mean, with Andy he’s a favorite toy, so that’s a unique owner + toy relationship status that he (probably) didn’t have before. Maybe that amplifies what he’s going through this time?

But there’s another aspect to Woody’s experiences that I want to touch on. All the other toys he would have known as Andy’s father’s toy are gone. There are no other “heirloom” toys in Andy’s room, or at least there is no evidence of this. All of Andy’s other toys seem to have been purchased just for Andy, and purchased new. There is no reference to garage sale trauma, previous owners, or anything like that. And as we’ve seen from other toys throughout the series, toys remember that kind of thing! But Woody doesn’t. His animus is one that shows years of experience building over his character backstory, but he never acts like he’s experienced being outgrown or losing all his toy friends.

Or at least he never says anything about such experiences.

I think it makes sense to read Woody’s amnesia as genuine. But I also think it would be reasonable to read his character as one that has undergone traumatic experiences and has responded by burying them so deep within his mind that he has no conscious access to them, even though they influence his current personality and life. (It’s impossible to know, but do toys in every household respond to birthdays and Christmas with such intense monitoring—with the desire for even the slightest early warning of replacement? Woody is the one who worries most about these celebrations, extremely anxious of his own status as favorite toy.) That the ending of Toy Story 4 removes him from the cycle of ownership and outgrowing can’t be ignored. Better to not have an owner than to experience losing an owner again, and again, and again?

But I do think there is one other possibility: Andy’s ownership of Woody caused him to lose all his memories of Andy’s father. A child may not be able to give a manufactured toy a new animus, but by possessing a toy in a play relationship (as opposed to a collector relationship) a child may be able to overwrite any memories of the toy’s previous owner. The process doesn’t happen instantaneously, as Andy’s toys don’t immediately forget him upon being transferred to Bonnie, but it would certainly explain why Woody makes no reference ever to a previous owner, even though he was most likely manufactured at least 35 years before coming into Andy’s possession. However, Jessie’s story argues against this. While she is happy among Andy’s toys, there’s nothing to show that she is forgetting her own past.

The possibility of a new child owner driving out all thoughts of the previous one is interesting, as it puts some degree of power over the toy’s animus back with the child. However, in the Toy Story universe, it’s clear that if this is the case, it’s not an instantaneous process. And if it’s not an instantaneous process, then it becomes overly complex. What memories would be driven out? For toys less adventurous than the main characters of the Toy Story movies, their whole lives are centered on their owners. They live in their child’s room/house. Anything that took place there would have to be forgotten to not bring up thoughts of the previous owner, including conversations with other toys that were friends of that first toy. At this point we approach a state of complete memory loss before the claim by a new owner. A gradual process would at least allow continuity of personality, since new memories under the new owner would be continually being made. But then, some new memories would have to fade, also. For wouldn’t a toy talk about their past while they could still remember it? And wouldn’t their new friends maybe bring up their past in conversation sometimes? They might even talk about the process of forgetting. That process would be noticed and known among toys. No, after thinking about it, I would say that there is no inherent forgetting process. Memories will mostly tend to stay, with whatever pain and joy they bring. And there will never be any transition process that is easy for the toy.

Woody’s amnesia remains his own, and remains his best defense against the trauma of being outgrown and shelved or stored for many years.

Toys have a strange and painful lot in life, semi-immortals being made to be silent companions to the briefest stage of a mortal lifespan. They live because they are made for children, but for most, in this world of mass production, children do not create them. Their animi are the spawn of creators who have no intent to create thinking, feeling beings. Escaping the stamp of such thoughtless creation means living long enough to know the deepest loss a toy can experience. Sometimes the only way to move forward from such loss is to forget. And yet, there is little will for most toys to move beyond this cycle. Toys overwhelmingly retain their roles as objects. I’d like to say that maybe this means that play is worth it, that temporary joy is worth it. But maybe it’s just the nature of being a toy. After all, if there’s any intent in their creation, there was the intent that they should be objects.

*I would never leave a dangling asterisk. My previous point was about ships and boats, but, if seagoing vehicles live because they are named, then there’s no reason why land vehicles would not do the same. It might be possible to argue that the Cars universe came about after some cataclysm wiped out humans and left only named vehicles behind.

Other avenues of investigation that were beyond the scope of this essay:

1) The situation between the Diamonds and every other gem in Steven Universe is highly analogous to the situation between humans and toys in the Toy Story universe, save for the crucial difference that the Diamonds have no excuse to not know that the other gems are complete feeling, thinking beings and to treat them as such. It was actually parallels I saw between Spinel + Pink Diamond and Jessie + her owner that got me thinking about aspects of the Toy Story universe in ways that I know are meant to be ignored. Also Pink Diamond bringing all those little pebble people to life just by crying on them. That’s a lot of responsibility coming from a solitary expression of emotion!

2) I’d be curious to know if a hugely popular series based on the agency of objects has had an effect on fan culture at all. Or it might at least be a way to examine actions taken on behalf of characters. Fictional characters, after all, don’t feel any kind of way about the situations and relationships people envision them in. They’re mental objects like toys are physical objects. In the real world is anyone going to argue that putting the faces of dolls or action figures together and making kissing noises is something to worry about? Is anything about putting a naked Barbie on top of a naked Ken a harmful act? In the real world I would say no. Also, with full awareness that this is a can of worms, what is the impact of such things in the Toy Story universe? Obviously this wouldn’t be addressed in any canon. But the Toy Story universe is supposed to be like reality with one big secret so there are kids that are definitely using their toys to play out love stories and stories including a vague understanding of sex. And another aspect to all this…if you’ve seen Booksmart, consider one of the characters’ uses of her childhood stuffed animal. I understand that this is not uncommon.

All right. I think I’m done now. And that I will probably go get another drink.

(I had a few baby dolls as a child that included their own toys as accessories. H—how would THAT work?)

#I've been out of school for YEARS and yet I was still compelled to write a long and slightly deranged essay in mid-December #Toy Story

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date. I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole.

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time.

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances.

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out.

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts.

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet:

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better. And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia.

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad.

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be.

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow.

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode.

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it.

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me.

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile.

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line.

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters. But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum.

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof. Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on.

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know.

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting. My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow.

#house of mouse #max goof #roxanne #the goofy movie #max x roxanne #goofy goof #goofy #donald duck #mickey mouse #minnie mouse #daisy duck #cruella de vil #beast #disney #comissions

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fandomlurker · 3 years

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A Ponderous Rewatch: Jockey For Position

Now that we’re done with that long cameo, it’s time for our feature presentation for tonight, and it’s a doozy!:

We open with Pinky frantically running on a spinning globe while Brain stands above him on the…globe holder? I don’t know if that part has a name or not.

“[winded gasps] Can I stop now, Brain?”

“Not until I finish my demonstration.”

Brain, that’s just… Well I was about to say it was mean, but given that Pinky understands the details of his plans better when Brain demonstrates it or draws elaborate diagrams, maybe it’s for the best? I doubt Brain could make that large globe spin just by using his hands, and Pinky’s been seen a lot of times running on the mouse wheel in their cage so he’s gotta be pretty in shape. Still, it feels like Pinky’s been running for a lot longer than he needed to…

You know what? I change my mind. It is a bit mean, Brain.

“When I build my reverse geotropic arrestor, Pinky, and throw it from the North Pole like this…”

The word “geotropic” doesn’t quite sound right. I wonder…

…Okay, yeah, Brain’s getting worse at naming things.

“…In a matter of seconds the cable will become taut, gravity will cease, and everyone will fly off the face of the Earth!”

Oh my GOD, Brain. This has got to be the stupidest plan you have come up with yet! Nothing about this will work.

Well, there goes poor Pinky.

“Leaving us alone to assume control.”

It’s still “us”, huh? Noted.

Long Pinky.

“Egad, Brain, brilliant! Haha hehe heh—!”

Pinky, sweetheart, I know praising Brain is kind of your thing but this is one time I’m going to have to call you out on your bias because this is super not brilliant and I’m actually a little worried for Brain’s mental state.

“—Oh wait, no, no. What’s going to keep us from flying off the Earth?”

That’s one flaw of many, Pinky, but I guess it’s as good a start as any.

“We will duct tape ourselves to a tree.”

Because the tree will totally stay in the ground when the Earth abruptly stops spinning. Not that it will stop spinning, because none of this makes any sense.

Brain, did this idea come from, like, a dream you had or something? Is that why the plan is working on dream logic?

I know this is a comedy cartoon and this is all a joke but sometimes Brain’s plans are so fucking out-there I just have to roast him for it.

“Unfortunately we still need to raise money to buy a one billion ton magnet. But I have a solution!”

Oh boy, can’t wait to hear the solution to this one. It’s gonna be stellar if the whole plan today is anything to go by.

Oh nice, Brain’s the one sewing for a change! Usually this is Pinky’s area of expertise, but it’s always nice to see that Brain can do some classically domestic things too.

“Tomorrow is the running of the Kentucky Derby. Do you know what that is?”

Most of my knowledge on it comes from “My Brother, My Brother, and Me” goofs, so my mind keeps autocorrecting it to “Kenfucky Derby”, but go on.

“Umm… Oh! A very large hat?”

“Promise me something, Pinky. Never breed.”

“I’ll try.”

Well, that’s going to come back to haunt them.

“The Kentucky Derby is the biggest horse race of the year. There’s a one million dollar purse going to the jockey riding the winning horse.”

“And I am going to win that purse!”

Okay, first off: Pinky, are you just going to stand there and stare at Brain as he gets changed? Like, I understand they’re naked normally and this is the exact opposite of stripping but umm…

Secondly: Brain, did you really have to get that up close to tell Pinky this? You two are making this too easy for me.

“Zort, Brain! A million dollar purse?!? Ooooh!~ You’re going to need matching pumps and earrings for that!”

Pinky’s got his priorities in order.

“Focus, Pinky, focus!”

“Now watch.”

And now Brain’s ordering Pinky to watch him dress and I just…I have no words. This is all so suspect. Why do you two even need a dressing screen if you’re usually naked anyway? And it shouldn’t matter if anyone sees you get dressed unless this is some weird reverse nudity taboo you two have developed and if that’s the case, why are you allowing Pinky to watch? And if it’s for a dramatic reveal WHY ARE YOU ORDERING HIM TO WATCH YOU CHANGE???

This episode is already so goddamn wild.

I am really not sure how I feel about that pan-up of Brain when he’s thrust his pelvis forward. At least the outfit is cute, though.

“Narf! Oh, Brain, I get it! You’re a beautiful lawn ornament!”

“Beautiful”, huh? Also noted.

“Look at me, narf, I’m a pink flamingo! Ahahaheh!”

Oh LORD, Pinky, how are you—?!?

“I’m a cement deer! Ah hah!”

PINKY, STOP, YOU’RE SCARING ME! D:

“Oh, I’m one of the seven dwarves, Brain!”

That’s more acceptable but Pinky, sweetie, warn me if you’re going to nightmarishly shapeshift again, okay?!

I guess we can add that to the list of random abilities Pinky has.

“Stop it, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.”

You are much calmer about this than I would be if this happened in front of me, Brain.

“Oh. Right-o, Brain. Narf.”

“Now let us make haste, for we have much to do before the race begins.”

“Poit.”

So then we cut to Churchill Downs, and I can only assume another roadtrip adventure was had off-screen.

“First, Pinky, we must visit the stables.”

“Inside, we will find the winning horse.”

“Err… How are we gonna do that, Brain?”

“The racing form, Pinky.”

My bet’s on... [squints] hLUUNO the horse.

“By analysing the velocity-based pace line, mile turf win and bayer speed figures, we’ll find a grade one stakes claimer who’ll give us a key horse situation.”

“Key Horse Situation” would be a great band name. Also, whoops, little bit of an error on the name plaques, background artists.

What do your mouse eyes see, Pinky?

“Err, can’t we just ride the pretty one?”

SHE!

So here she is, one of the few characters debuting in the Animaniacs run that will matter to PatB lore going forward aside from our main duo.

A fun fact for you all: Phar Fignewton’s name is a triple reference joke. “Phar Lap” was a champion thoroughbred race horse in the late 1920s and early 1930s. Fig Newtons are small pastries filled with fig paste. Lastly, “Fahrvergnügen” was a slogan for Volkswagon starting in 1990. Translated, it means “driving enjoyment”.

Phar Fignewton makes a whinnying noise and ends it off with a goofy laugh.

Brain is not impressed.

“Heavens, they’re multiplying…”

Pinky is instantly smitten with her.

BONK!

“This is a business trip, Pinky!”

“Oh. Right. Sorry, Brain.”

“Here is our horse.”

“’Daddy’s Little Angel’…”

I guess it’s an ironic nickname.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Whu… I think so, Brain, isn’t Regis Philbin already married?”

…

Now I’m wondering if Pinky is suggesting that one of them marry Regis or if he’s suggesting that Regis marries the horse. Either way, what the fuck?

Yeah, same.

“The race, Pinky. By combining the statistics and my low body weight, this horse cannot lose! The prize money will be ours!”

GAH! Brain, I’ve had enough minor heart attacks from this episode because of Pinky’s eldritch morphing ability, I don’t need another one of your bizarre close-ups to do the same!

“Now I must take the place of the real jockey.”

“Hello?”

“Is this the Jockey who’s going to ride ‘Daddy’s Little Angel’?”

“Yeah.”

“This is Ed Mcmahon from Publisher’s Smearing House. You’ve just won ten million dollars.”

Pinky delightedly and silently listening in and chuckling in the back is precious.

And honestly, Brain, I don’t know why you’re crouching here, but it’s also cute.

“I won ten million dollars… I WON TEN MILLION DOLLARS! I am outta here! Later!”

The mice are lucky that he’s so excited about winning all that money that he forgets to do basic things like ask when and how he’ll get the money.

“Louie! Louie!”

“Later!”

“Who’s gonna ride my horse? I mean, Louie is the smallest, lightest jockey in the entire world!”

Did you know that there’s a weight requirement for jockeys, but no height requirement?

“Not anymore!”

“[GASP]”

Whoops, I just noticed another error, though it’s minor: Brain’s jockey outfit throughout this scene is light tan and purple instead of the pea green and purple that it’s supposed to be.

“You’re a jockey?!”

“Actually, I am a mouse in the early stages of an elaborate scheme to take over the world.”

The more this happens, the more I’m starting to think that Brain does this shtick on purpose to emotionally and mentally disarm people who would otherwise suspect that he’s not human. The fact that it works shows you just how idiotic the human beings of this world are.

“Well, fine, we all need a hobby but…will you ride my horse?”

Oh, sir, I think it’s much more than a hobby at this point. If only you knew…

“I shall ride! And win!”

His design is a little odd here, but it’s still a good pose.

So Brain next has to be weighed to make sure he meets the requirements.

“Saddle: Seven pounds. Saddle and rider: Seven pounds 3 ounces.”

So if you can recall from the previous rewatch post, a house mouse on average weighs 19g, and a common wood mouse weighs 23g (it can be up for debate which type of mouse Brain is). Converting Brain’s 3 ounces of weight to grams would result in him weighing 85.0486g.

Brain does have a bit of a cute little potbelly thing going on, but he’s also consistently much smaller in height and width than the average adult mouse in the series. I think the incredible difference in weight is mostly coming from the heft of Brain’s, well, brain and skull…and the muscle mass packed into that tiny body to help keep him upright.

“A genetically perfect jockey! This is fantastic!”

Please don’t phrase it like that.

“…Let’s look into early retirement.”

That jockey on the left is going through some shit, man. He looks like how I feel after working an eight hour shift on the holidays.

And so we skip to the beginning of the race!

That poor, poor jockey…who changed colour schemes for some reason.

There’s Phar Fignewton with a jockey who honestly looks like he’s high.

And here’s our little mousey fella, who has somehow managed to make this aggressive horse obedient.

“Camptown race is five miles long, do-dah, do-dah.~”

He’s so happy he’s singing to himself! This is honestly so precious that I completely forgive him for not getting the lyrics correct.

Coincidentally, Daddy’s Little Angel is positioned next to Phar Fignewton.

“Ooh, isn’t this exciting, Brain?”

Uh oh.

“Pinky, what are you doing here? Your weight will disrupt my winning calculations!”

I don’t know if it’d be that off, Brain. The combined weight of two mice is still much less than that of a human jockey.

“But Brain, it’s too exciting! I—“

[TARGET LOCKED]

“Oooh! Heh. Hello.~”

I think I’m going to save my thoughts on this whole…thing until the end. Right now I will say, however, that I wasn’t quite expecting the tongue-hanging-out-of-gaping-mouth lovestruck/horny??? reaction.

“Pinky, the race is starting!”

Too late, Brain.

And we’re off!

Bye, Pinky.

“There’s baloney in our slacks…~”

Pfft.

So as the race goes on, we get to know a few more of the horses’ names: Isle of Yap (a nice callback to the first PatB short), Flamiel (which is apparently the WB writers’ favourite word?), and Leggo-my-Egoiste (a double reference to an old Eggo slogan and the name of a cologne).

The other jockeys are more than a little surprised by Brain and his steed taking the lead early in the race.

Phar Fignewton is trailing way behind.

Meanwhile, Pinky’s woken up from fainting, seeing the oncoming horses—

--and promptly freaks out and stumbles back down again.

“Victory, she waits for me! Oh, the do-dah-day!”

You really have to stop tempting fate like this, Brain.

Phar Fignewton’s very tired, but what’s this?

Is that…Pinky in harm’s way?

ThePowerOfLove.mp3

Determined and fueled by her inexplicable crush, Phar Fignewton starts gaining ground on the other horses.

Brain didn’t calculate for this!

…Oh! Hi, Warners! Looks like they’re cheering Phar on.

“Oh no! Yah! Yah! Yah!”

I didn’t think whips were allowed in races like the Kentucky Derby, but apparently they are. Their use was only restricted—not banned—in the summer of 2020, which is alarming to say the least.

On a different note, I know some of you folks are now jotting down the fact that Brain knows how to use a whip. I see you.

She makes the save!

And she also wins the race! Way to go, Phar Fignewton!

“In the words of the great Willie Shoemaker: ‘Nuts!’”

It was a good try, Brain, but honestly I’m glad you failed this time if only so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself with your actual world domination plan’s failure later. Maybe take a couple nights off to rest up a bit and formulate plans that aren’t totally bonkers, hmm?

I might as well go ahead and talk about this now. I…am conflicted on this whole Phar Fignewton thing. It makes for a very strange one-off joke about Pinky instantly falling in love with a distaff counterpart of his that’s a horse for whatever reason…but the fact that she’s not a one-off character is baffling in and of itself. Like I’ve said before, she’s mentioned a couple of times going forward as being Pinky’s girlfriend, or as a bizarre joke at Pinky’s expense about him being in/having been in a relationship with a horse. There’s even a small running gag about Pinky’s reaction to people’s disgust about it: “People can be so intolerant!”. I don’t know if the joke is supposed to be one about racial segregation or a wink and nod to queer folks in the only way that the writers could get away with in a cartoon at the time (in a “see, Pinky’s down for a relationship with anyone, even outside of his species!” type of way).

Phar Fignewton herself is a sweetie but besides that she has no personality to speak of and we’re just meant to assume based on physical appearance that she is equivalent to Pinky. And like, she hasn’t been uplifted to human levels of intelligence and sapience like Pinky has because of Acme Labs, but she seems to be naturally sapient for some unknown reason and just simply unable to speak English.

On top of all this, the relationship is very shallow and the only reason we’re given as to why Pinky likes her is because he finds her pretty. It’s perfectly in character for Pinky to easily fall in love, as he does so with other animals a couple more times in the spin-offs, but it just feels weird that this is the one that sticks around purely to become a running gag that gets mentions that are sometimes literal years apart from one another.

And listen, I know the writers most likely made this a thing just because they thought it was a funny joke and a few of them managed to remember about Phar and would use Pinky dating her as a gag. I know this. But it doesn’t make it any less confusing and weird. I remember the jokes about Pinky and horses from way back when I first watched Animaniacs and the PatB spin-off when I was a kid and I never had any context for it because I don’t think I ever saw this specific episode. Coming back as an adult and seeing all these episodes in order and watching this one in particular and finding out the context is “Pinky thinks a horse is pretty and the horse and him are in love and long-distance dating now” is both underwhelming and leaves me with more questions than answers.

…Also, if my earlier theories on why the writers made this joke are correct, does this mean Phar Fignewton is metatextually a beard for Pinky?

I just don’t know, folks. You’re welcome to leave your thoughts on this in comments.

Let’s wrap this up.

So as we can see, Brain is, as usual, back to work on another plan that involves—

—a goddamn cannon, holy shit! What is he using the glue for? That’s a little ominous, given what’s been involved in this episode.

There’s a hammering noise in the background and we see Pinky putting up a photo of Phar Fignewton.

“Pinky, will you please stop that? I’m trying to concentrate on tomorrow night!”

Wow, you’re more irritable than usual, Brain. I didn’t think some delicate hammering would annoy you that much.

“Mwah!~”

…Despite my ramblings earlier, that’s very cute of you, Pinky. I’m sure you could’ve gotten a better photo, though.

“Why, Brain, what’re we gonna do tomorrow night?”

Try to take over the world, of course! Right, Brain?

“Guess.”

…

Umm, wow. That’s a first. You look like you’re absolutely enraged, Brain. All this over some hammering sounds?

This had me taken aback a bit when I watched it the first time, not gonna lie. We’ve seen Brain after a plan’s failure plenty of times before. He’s been frustrated, sure. Humiliated at times, or maybe he just sighs in resignation and walks off into the sunset. It always ends with him simply using these feelings to fuel the fire in him to do better tomorrow night.

This is the very first time we’ve seen him jumpy and irritated at the most minor of things and so angry that he literally refuses to participate normally in his and Pinky’s shared catchphrase. And this was for a plan that was just to fund the real plan! So why is this time any different?

Oh.

OH.

Okay, that’s… That makes a lot of sense, actually. Damn.

Hey, fanfic writers? Ya’ll ever use this as the very first time Brain experiences romantic jealousy? Let me know.

“Oh yeah, try to take over the world. Right.”

I think even Pinky’s put off by this development, if his hesitant and quiet finishing of the saying is anything to go by.

And that’s what we end off with.

All in all, this episode is a wild ride of strangeness in small moments and bizarre additions to lore and ends on the first subversion of the long-running closing gag of the series. It’s not exactly a great episode, but that ending is intriguing enough for one of the main purposes of this rewatch. In short, I’m just baffled.

Luckily the next episode is much better. Next time, the mice head on down to Tennessee to seek world domination via country music.

See you then!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Jockey For Position

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maomaosmother · 4 years

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Hey everyone! I don't do analysis stuff on here much, mostly because I normally don't have such detailed thought on my headcanons. So this won’t be a regular occurrence. But ever since the newest episodes of Mao Mao, I've seen a lot of reasons and examples that support my headcanon of Mao Mao having an anxiety disorder. This analysis will contain detailed spoilers for Scared of Puppets, so please be cautious of that! If you’re interested in reading this, please look below! If you disagree with any of this, that’s okay! I respect all thoughts and other headcanons, this is all for fun anyways ;

As someone who has Generalized Anxiety, also known as GAD, this subject is very important to me, and it'd be nice if it was shown correctly more often in cartoons. Most cartoon characters I've seen with anxious habits are just screaming or hiding in a room when confronted with what they're afraid of, and they get over it by the end of the episode. But with Mao Mao, it has felt so different. I've seen tons of signs that make me feel as if he could be suffering from at least one form of anxiety.

Personally, it feels like he has GAD like myself, but he could also have a form of PTSD. PTSD is also an anxiety disorder, if you didn't know! It's very possible to have both, which is called Comorbid Anxiety. I want to try and go in order of the episodes we've had released in the first season, to make it easier to understand all my reasons. So, with that being said, I want to start with the episode that made me feel that anxiety was even a possibility to notice in Mao Mao's canon character; Episode 7, Not Impressed.

Not Impressed was the first heavy, serious type of episode we got in the series. Mao Mao is clearly happy when gaining the attention of his citizens, so it's extremely noticeable when he gets angry and upset that one single person isn't as thrilled or, as titled, impressed. People with anxiety disorders tend to do two things: they focus on the tiny negative instead of the positives that surround them, and they quickly link their present problems to their past. Both of these are immediately shown, as child Mao Mao is repeatedly popping up in his mind, begging for his father's attention. He forgets about the praise he was just receiving, as all focus is now on the negative. In fact, it happens every time his attempts at impressing him fail. Everyone in the valley seems interested in him, some even watching his dance moves in the middle of the episode. But all he cares about is Blue, nothing is important right then except getting his positive feedback. It doesn't mean everyone with anxiety who feels like this is selfish, it all links back to fearing failure or rejection. Whether it happened in their past, or they were raised to always be right and successful, anxiety disorders can affect your emotions when negative reactions or feedback is thrown your way. In Mao Mao's case, his link in his life is none other than Shin Mao.

Shin Mao has neglected him for almost all his life. I won't go into the whole family thing, since all of you reading this probably already know about that. But long story short, he's a mentally abusive father. The first glimpse we see of this is in this episode, where the younger version of Mao Mao is ignored by his father, who focuses on only his older sisters. This clearly had a heavy impact on him, and we learn just how bad it was in future episodes ( that I'll talk about ). Blue is eventually tricked into saying he was impressed by Mao Mao, who technically was Chubbum, and a desperate Mao Mao took it anyways. He ends the episode by accidentally talking about his father during an excited shout, and is taken into a therapy session. It hasn't been clarified ever since this episode if Mao Mao still attends therapy, but I am personally hoping he does. This was only the first sign that caught my eye, and there's still more to unpack. Such as, my next point, episode 10: Bao Bao's Revenge.

Like the family point, most of you should already know Bao Bao, so I won't go too much into that whole backstory. But, it IS a huge point in my Comorbid Anxiety headcanon. People with anxiety have a horrible time with trust. Mao Mao was betrayed by his friend in a tragic way, his tail being taken. While Bao Bao didn't do it on purpose and was just being a typical dog, Mao Mao has very clearly not gotten over it. He has held this grudge for years, and with this grudge, he attempts to push it onto others. Most people with anxiety, including myself, can have this problem: if they see a person as bad, they are hurt or irritated if others don't. That person hurt THEM, so how could anyone see that person as a kind and loving person? Why is karma not biting them yet? They're difficult thoughts to deal with, as it can be unhealthy and affect your other relationships. Mao Mao prepares the villagers for Bao Bao's "vicious attack", and describes him as a horrific monster. When it's revealed that he's a small pup, and the sweetiepies get angry, Mao Mao's frustration increases. He doesn't understand how anyone can see him as harmless or cute. This is a big insecurity issue. Insecurity is a symptom for GAD.

While Mao Mao does temporarily put his grudge to the side to defeat a monster with Bao Bao, it doesn't go away. As soon as its over, he says he isn't sure whether or not to forgive. After a heartfelt reminder of their memories together, he does eventually forgive Bao Bao and immediately starts planning their life together. This actually happens at least four times in the series; here, "I Love You Mao Mao", "Outfoxed" and in "Baost In Show". It feels like an overthinking symptom, which is a huge GAD/PTSD sign. He quickly lists off his expectations for the future, his dreams of impressing his father and sisters, spending a lifetime with Bao Bao, getting into different scenarios, etc. Overwhelming thoughts of one's future is common in people with anxiety, as you are afraid of not having that "perfect" life you desire. While it is true that people who don't have anxiety disorders also overthink and hope for a great future, it's a pretty frequent thing seen in Mao Mao, more often than the average person.

Believe it or not, the next three episodes following Bao Bao's Revenge also have signs of comorbid anxiety.

"Popularity Conquest" has a lot of lore in Mao Mao's self-esteem. He is so desperate to be loved and appreciated, he's willing to change his attitude and appearance. This pink-clothed, higher-voiced, "hipster" Mao Mao was a huge cry for positive attention. This, again, links back to the neglect he received as a child. GAD is more into play with this issue; Too much negative feedback causes him to explode in anger. However, he soon shuts down, deciding to no longer do the right thing, but to try and give the villagers what they like. Mao Mao seems to frequently battle with himself like this, wanting to follow all the hero rules he was taught, but also wanting to give in to his wishes and be given the love and appreciation he never received before. Comorbid anxiety is full of these types of challenges, unsure of what is better for you or what lies ahead. What would he lose or gain from each choice he has to choose from? It's a common battle we see him face in the series.

"Sick Mao" is leaning more towards GAD, with his illness being an obstacle he believes he can handle with no correct treatments. Heroes being sick is a sign of weakness to him, and he most likely learned this from Shin. He attempts to go along his day, refusing to believe he's sick up to the point where he faints and can no longer deny it. While this is a mix of regular stubbornness, it's clear that he fears not being strong or seen as a hero if he's ill. He gets upset once he finally admits to it, and it takes a lot for him to realize he can still be a hero without having to put himself at a health risk. Mao Mao's constant repetition of "being sick means he's weak" and "heroes aren't weak" is something he's had drilled into his brain by his family, and he believed it for so long due to his fear of disappointing them. This episode showed Mao Mao's agitation, self-destructive behavior, and flashbacks/fears of his past.

"Thumb War" isn't as different as the points I just made above, in which we see Mao Mao expressing his irrational and unrealistic behaviors once more. Shin expects a hero to always win, and that there's no point in any kind of competition if you don't win it. Mao Mao has also stuck this into his brain, so when he loses, he shows clear agitation and even embarrassment. He learns by the episode that he can lose and still have fun, but again, it took a lot for him to do so ( Adorabat getting upset and giving up, the village seeing his paws, etc. ).

In case you weren't sure already, GAD is more than just expressing anxious emotions. It can also cause irritation, in which the person can explode in anger if it's too much for their mind to handle. It can also cause unrealistic thoughts of issues and situations. Mao Mao shows this often, with the mental scarring of his childhood usually lingering behind him. The next episode I wanted to bring up for a moment was "Legend of Torbaclaun", which really expressed how unfamiliar Mao Mao is with the concept of "fun".

Mao Mao is always taking things seriously, sometimes a bit too much at the wrong time and place. This could be from his anxious thoughts of failing at his job as a hero, who should always stay on guard at all times. Letting loose isn't easy for him, and certainly isn't something he's familiar with. People with GAD typically see situations as threatening or serious, when they really aren't. This is basically the theme of the episode, Mao Mao doesn't see the Torbaclaun, yet others say they can and are setting up a whole get-together for its supposed arrival. He does everything he can to stop it, fearing the chaos that he believes could ensue. He goes from getting angry, to upset, to angry and upset again. He only realizes how much he's affected people once they show sadness, and it clearly wasn't his intention to send them home in disappointment. It's almost as if he never truly understood that fun is different for people, and not everything is a serious matter. It also further proves my point that all of this is built on fear when the end of the episode does, in fact, end in a chaotic riot. Mao Mao is seen freaking out, blaming himself for the chaos.

Most of the following episodes after this one show the same smaller signs that I already explored, like his refusal to believe rules are made up or unnecessary in "Meet Tanya Keys" and pretty much the entire episode of "Small". I saw these signs, but I never really felt as if it was enough to write an analysis or anything. The anxiety headcanon felt more like a "What if" or "Possibly" thing. But what really sealed the deal for me, and what made me write this whole thing in the first place, is the episode "Scared of Puppets". Just a warning in case you didn't read earlier, this will contain high spoilers, so don't continue on if you don't want to be spoiled. With that being clarified, let's break this episode down.

This one is about exactly what the title states, Mao Mao's fear of ventriloquist dummies. It starts off with him seeing the dummy for the first time, inside a box Badgerclops carries. Immediately after, he begins to sweat and panic, going to a flashback of himself at his birthday party. He experiences automatic anxiety just by looking at the puppet, but when its head falls off and into his lap, he screams in understandable terror. We go back to Mao Mao rocking back and forth on the floor, possibly an attempt to calm himself. He is jumpy, sweaty and even has a shakier voice throughout this episode going forward. Which, I want to applaud Parker for, because it was very well done. He tries to gather himself in front of his deputies, especially Adorabat. He can't even look at the puppet without gagging, and eventually pukes after Badgerclops purposely terrorizes him with it. Nausea and vomiting are definitely common in anxiety disorders, nerves at such a high level upsets your stomach and can also flare up your acid reflux, if you have that issue.

He still refuses to admit his fears, which irritates Badgerclops and worries Adorabat. Most people with GAD don't like to be open with their struggles, especially if they feel weak or like they've been worrying too much in recent times. Plus, this isn't an uncommon thing for him - denying his struggles and refusing to change can be a nervous habit. Especially when such intense fear, like this one, is occurring. Mao Mao is soon in a CPR class, where Badgerclops hands him a bag that contains the dummy. He is told to demonstrate mouth to mouth procedures on the dummy, and again, we see Mao Mao gagging just at the sight and thought of touching it. He stares down at the puppet in a sweat, his face even turning paler and he closes his eyes as his mind races. His thoughts go back to his father telling him not to be scared, with a bonus punch to the gut of hearing Shin Mao not remembering Mao Mao's age. This is the thought that triggers his first anxiety attack, in which he opens his eyes, screams, and runs off the table. To some people, it may seem like just a typical freakout, but as someone with GAD, this is a very frequent thing that happens similar to this. Sometimes a simple, specific thought can be your breaking point that you can't control. Of course, this is still a cartoon, so during his anxiety attack, he tries desperately to run away from the dummy ( which unfortunately hooks onto his cape ) and ends up causing a fire explosion. Badgerclops knows for a fact at this point about his fear, but Mao Mao still denies it, even after panicking in front of him.

The next scene, which is set at night time, shows multiple GAD symptoms that were more intense than usual. He is restless for most of the night, getting upset and angry that he's scared. He's in tears and eventually punching the wall furiously, telling himself he's not scared of the dummy. It's close to another breaking point, in which he gets up and goes to try and relax in the kitchen. In there, he ends up running into the dummy laying on the kitchen table. He gets scared at first, then attempts to face his fear by picking it up and slapping it. This isn't enough, obviously, and gets terrified when it slightly moves. He puts it quickly in a wrapped box, and this begins the start of a nightmare sequence. He's hiding under the table, where both the puppet ( in a gigantic form ) and Shin Mao are present. He's terrorized for being scared, and the nightmare ends with him nearly getting eaten by said puppet. He wakes up screaming, sweating and clearly dazed. Nightmares, or even night terrors, are also symptoms for GAD. Mao Mao is clearly having higher anxiety levels than usual, to the point that its affecting his usual sleep patterns.

This last scene I want to explain in detail, is by far, the heaviest and most clear reason for my headcanon. It hit me hard personally, and I tear up when I watch it. Because I know how Mao Mao feels in this scene, how his physical and mental state functions during such an attack.

After Mao Mao wakes up from his nightmare, the trio is quickly on a call for a monster attack. At the setting, the stand full of puppets is there, which Mao Mao tries to avoid at first. After the monster hits the stand and sends the puppets flying, they unfortunately land all around Mao Mao in a circle. His anxiety is triggered instantly, trying to keep himself from panicking. He slowly goes from a stand to a crawl, going less verbal and more shaky. Adorabat is attempting to encourage him, and reminding him that admitting his fears is okay, and that they're there to help. He then experiences a big hallucination of being surrounded by puppets, followed by hearing the repeated words of his father. About how he can't tell them he's scared and that he isn't allowed to show weakness, that heroes are never afraid. This can be viewed as a bit of a sensory overload, which is a symptom for multiple things, such as GAD and Autism. But he is then seen closing his eyes, barely able to stare at Adorabat, who is trying to comfort him. He's shaking and stuttering, almost going into a heavy panic attack. When a panic attack hits you hard, you don't want to stare at anything or try to stand or speak, your body is basically overwhelmed and needs to slowly relax before attempting to move. He also seems to have his hands near his chest, which leads to possibly another GAD symptom; Chest pain. He is attempting to tell himself he's fearless, but it becomes too much, and he finally gets the energy to yell that he's afraid of puppets.

The end of the puppet episode is also a fascinating touch, in addition to what I mentioned at the start of this analysis: Mao Mao doesn't get over his fears! Which I'm happy about, not because I want him to keep going through his fear, but because it's realistic. Fears and anxiety doesn't go away overnight, as much as I wish. I believe Mao Mao is still in the middle of the improving process. So, it's good to know that he's still not okay with the thought of puppets or how his past with them occurred.

It felt really good to write all this out! I really hope I make sense in this, I do tend to ramble on sometimes, so my apologies. In conclusion, these are reasons why I believe Mao Mao has Comorbid Anxiety, especially GAD. Will we see more signs of Mao Mao struggling with anxiety disorder symptoms? Maybe so, I'd be shocked and honestly disappointed if we don't! It's a very important thing to address, that most kids don't seem to understand the sincerity of these days. There's a big difference between regular anxiety, and anxiety disorders.

If you read this whole thing, BLESS you and I'd love to hear your thoughts on my reasons and headcanon! Thank you so much!

#mao mao #mmhoph #mao mao heroes of pure heart #headcanon #anxiety headcanon #analysis #mao mao spoilers

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soniatera · 3 years

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tag game

tagged by @aominne thank you noufi!!! :3 ♥

rules: Answer 30 questions and tag others

Name/Nickname: zeynep

Gender: female

Star Sign: virgo

Height: 162 cm

Time: 2:48 am

Birthday: september 10

Favorite Bands: red, chase atlantic, daughter

Favorite Solo Artists: skylar grey, nf, rihanna

Song stuck in my head: avicii - wake me up

Last Movie: soul

Last Show: attack on titan

When did I create this blog: may 2020

What do I post: animation, animanga, cartoons and whatever i like lol

Last thing googled: youtube

Other blogs: @hotccup my httyd blog! i have two more but i don’t use them anymore

Why I chose my url: bc eren jaeger supremacy

Following: 165

Followers: 2756

Average hours of sleep: i don’t even know at this point rip

Instruments: none

What am I wearing: a t-shirt and sweetpants

Dream job: voice acting but I’ve given up on it due to circumstances :( I’d still love to do it tho

Dream trip: norway, japan,

Favorite food: a turkish food called mantı, pizza, pasta

Nationality: turkish

Favorite song: it changes pretty often lol i’m not sure

Last book read: the power of darkness

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: 3 - haikyuu!!, 2 - atla, 1 - how to train your dragon

tagging @kagehjna @runwiththewind @frxstguardian @spidaerman @gojosattoru @sadysayo @suzouyas @reddoriot @zuura if you want to!

#tag game #personal

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heatherfield · 4 years

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More than you could ever possibly want to know

I had a bunch of these to answer in my drafts and realized most of them were so similar so I combined them into one massive post. Given the sheer amount of questions I won’t tag anybody but feel free to answer any of these and let me know your responses!!

Tagged by the lovely @storyinmyeyes, @cartoon-heart, @thatdamnokie, @honestly-wilde, @bookwormchocaholic, @heterocosmica, @notations, @apictureofspace, @panalegs27, @swanfireouat and @queenofglassbeliever. Thank you!

rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better

name: Heather

nicknames: none

zodiac sign: Aquarius

height: 4′11″

nationality: Canadian

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

fave fruit: peaches

fave scent: lavender

fave animal: cats

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee first, but I love all three

last movie i saw: “The King”

last thing i thing i googled: actress Sarah Macrae

fave musician: Umm.... hard to pick one, but Mandy Moore is a serious top contender!

song stuck in my head: “Right on Time” by Dawes

other blogs: nothing active at the moment

following: 1186 (I’m sure many are inactive lol)

do i get asks: every now and then but not often

amount of sleep: probably average 6 hours

lucky number: Hmm—13, or maybe 26?

what am i wearing: t-shirt and sweat pants

dream job: I think I’d still love to do something with design and books (or magazines)

dream trip: easy—England and Scotland

fave food: pasta <3

instruments: a bit of piano, and I used to play clarinet in school

languages: English (and the teeniest bit of French)

fave songs: I have so many and my mind is going blank!

random fact: aside from university dorm rooms/etc. I have lived in the same house my entire life

aesthetic: 19th century English cottage with some modern elements for balance

relationship status: single

favourite colour: purple

top three ships: Red Cricket (Ruby and Archie) from “Once Upon a Time”, Anne and Gilbert from “Anne of Green Gables”, Abby and Connor from “Primeval”

fave fictional characters: too many

fave book: “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick

last song: “Spanish Eyes” by Clanadonia

when blog was created: 2011, I think, but I didn’t started really using it until about 2015

why blog was created: I followed people over from Livejournal and then really started using this blog when my love for “Once Upon a Time” was revived between seasons 4 and 5

meaning behind URL: I thought it was a pretty/poetic/floral take on my name and it sounded like “Netherfield” aka Jane and Bingley from “Pride and Prejudice”.

fave candy: gummy bears

fave holiday: probably Christmas :)

fave season: summer

fave flower: lavender

cat or dog person: I love both but cats are my super favourite <3

number of blankets you sleep with: 1 big duvet

ever had a poem or song written about you? don’t think so, unless my ex wrote a poem at one point *shrugs*

last time you played air guitar: can’t remember, but I got my little brother to play it in the car a few months ago which was awesome!

celebrity crush: Raphael Sbarge <3

sound you hate and sound you love: I hate ticking clocks and I love the patter of rain on the windows or roof

believe in ghosts: no

believe in aliens: no

do you drive: yes

ever crashed: no, thank goodness

last book: “Where the Crawdads Sing” by Delia Owens—which I recommend :)

currently reading: the complete works of Shakespeare and “A Breath of Snow and Ashes” by Diana Gabaldon

last TV show: “The Home Edit” on Netflix

currently craving: chicken fingers haha

do you like the smell of gasoline: um... sometimes a bit (so weird but it reminds me of some family members and activities I think?) but not really

worst injury: I’m pretty careful so I can’t remember... although I banged my chin pretty bad when I was about 7 or 8

current obsession: well I’m reading through all of Shakespeare’s plays so that’s been fun, especially tracking down as many adaptations and stage versions I can get my hands on

do you hold grudges? I’d like to say no but I’m realizing it can be hard to let go of the emotions that came with certain hurts/betrayals even if I don’t necessarily hold grudges...

sweet, spicy, or savoury: savoury

* * *

Tagged by the lovely @bookwormchocaholic and @mariequitecontrarie. Thanks!

How old are you: 32.

Surgeries: yup, quite a few

Tattoos: none, but it appeals to me more and more

Ever hit a deer: no, thank goodness

Sang karaoke: I don’t think officially...

Ice skated: Yeah—I’d love to do more

Ridden a motorcycle: nope and I can’t say I want to

Ridden in an ambulance: yes

Skipped school: yeah, probably when I wasn’t truly sick

Stayed in the hospital: yes

Broken bone: nope! I’m too much of a fraidy cat so I’m always super careful (and not particularly sporty)

Last phone call: my mom, I’m sure

Last text from: my mom

Watched someone die: My pets.

Pepsi or coke: Coke.

Favourite pie: I worked at a farm/farmer’s market baking (frozen) pies for yeeeeears—my fave was “bumbleberry” which was actually just a mix of apple, raspberry, blueberry, and rhubarb I think it was, ‘cause why choose just one flavour?

Favourite pizza: margherita or hawaiian

Received a ticket: Nope.

Sunset or sunrise: Either, both are beautiful.

Favourite Christmas song: "O Come All Ye Faithful” sung by Pentatonix

Cupcakes or cookies: um, cupcakes!

* * *

Tagged by the lovely @bookwormchocaholic. Thank you! Turns out I filled this out and kept in my drafts ‘cause I’m just crazy.

1. Are you named after someone? No, my parents just liked the name. (My middle name is after my paternal grandmother, though.)

2. When was the last time you cried? Probably a week or two ago, lol.

3. Do you have kids? No.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not often, but sometimes.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? How kind they are.

6. What’s your eye color? Brown.

7. Scary movie or happy ending? Definitely happy endings.

8. Any special talents? Writing, graphic design, singing.

9. Where were you born? Canada.

10. What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, sometimes crafts like knitting and card-making…

11. Do you have any pets? I used to have a cat for over 20 years, but we had to put her down 2 3 years ago. My mom and I would love to get another cat, but my dad doesn’t want a pet right now. Plus, I just miss my cat a lot…

12. What sports do you play? Nothing.

13. How tall are you? 4′11″.

14. Favourite subject in school? English.

15. Dream job? Honestly, I’d love to be a graphic designer for books and be involved in putting them together and then do writing as a hobby to take the pressure off. I think it would balance out the creative aspects if that makes sense. (I was so close to getting my dream job, too!)

#about me #tag meme #it was cool to see how these memes have clearly branched off from each other :D #long post

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #393

i’ve got a shitload of surveys backed up, so... get ready, aha.

Have you ever watched the show Bad Girls Club? No, but I adore the Falling In Reverse song, haha. Have you ever purposely made someone jealous? Not to my recollection, no. What kind of shampoo do you use? It's a Dove one for dandruff and I LOVE it. It makes my hair so silky, smells good, and just feels clean longer. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Not to brag, but I've been told that my whole life. What name do you think is pretty for a girl? "Alessandra" will ALWAYS be my favorite name. If you had to name your daughter after a Disney princess, which one? Hm. Perhaps Jasmine, or maybe Aurora. Do you think telepathy is real? Nope. When you were little, did you ever think you would be a magician? Not seriously, no, but I was OBSESSED with those little magic kits you could get at the Scholastic book faire. What is your opinion on poetry? It's a beautiful way of expression, and I especially love the figurative approach to it. I truly think writing poetry can even help discover things about yourself. What, if any, TV shows do you have on DVD? I have seasons 1-4 of Meerkat Manor, and you can bet your ass I'll get Season 5 once that's available in that format! Would you rather go in a hot air balloon or go sky diving? Hot air balloon, probs. I'm too scared of sky diving. Homework–would you rather do it on a Friday or Sunday? Friday. I like to get it out of the way the day it's assigned. What cartoon character did you have a crush on as a kid? Ash Ketchum, haha. What video games have you beaten? Loads and loads. Who makes the most in your entire family? I actually don't know. Probably Ashley? She's a mammographer, along with other duties. If a cosmetology class was offered at your school, would you take it? No. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? If it's done safely and not overdone to the point it affects your health, you damn well go for it if it helps your self-confidence. Your favourite meal growing up? Spaghetti, or as I called it, "psghetti," haha. How many bedrooms in the house you live in? Three. What link was the closest person to you that’s died? If we're talking humans, Jason's mom. If you wanna include any living being, then absolutely my dog Teddy. Anything about your mum that annoys you? She is ALWAYS right. Doesn't matter what it is. What meal that your mum cooks is your favourite? I don't know. Have you ever tried caviar? Can you explain the taste to me? HELL no. What, in your opinion, will cause the end of the world? The universe itself is infinite. If we're talking Earth, completely eliminated, either a gamma ray or black hole. If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? I mentioned Ashley already, and Nicole is a social worker with children. I actually don't remember what my half-siblings do for work. Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? I've been envious of them for sure, absolutely. They're actually doing shit with their lives and seem to have themselves figured out. I gotta admit I'm jealous of how close Ash and Nicole are, too. I want to be the third person, but I'm just... not. We're so very different that it's hard to get as close as I want. Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Depends on what I'm feeling of course, but I think like most people, I have a more quality experience at sit-in restaurants. What is the biggest dream of your life? Photograph and come into physical contact with meerkats (whether they climb on me or I pet them, idc) at the KMP. I WILL cry. What is a country you’d never ever visit? Places like North Korea. Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? I don't have bills. Do you think life should just hand things to you? No. Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? I desperately want to earn my own money. What type of a survey do you skip altogether? I don't like bolding surveys. I like the opportunity to explain in normal ones like these. Do you get nervous before “meeting the parents”? Yep. Do you own a knife? Not any besides your ordinary kitchen knives. What song do you want played at your funeral? I have a few in mind. "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M. and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory probably top the list. Do people get shocked by how old you are? I don't know, but probably, given how dependent I am on my parents for like, everything. Do you have any features that people notice right away? As in a mole on your cheek, or a big nose, big teeth, etc? Apparently my lip ring. What's the last compliment you received? The lady that works with me in the TMS office liked my Umbreon shirt. What's the meanest insult you have received? Probably that I'm a martyr (and not in the good way). Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yes. Does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed? They're the same person lmao. Do you have any friends with kids? Yes. I feel like most of my FB friends have kids. What was the last thing you spent your money on? I bought my niece her birthday present. Where did you first kiss the last person you kissed? My back porch. Does your favorite song remind you of anybody? Just America in general. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Jason, pretty much. Do you want any tattoos? If yes, what? Oh hunny, I want LOADS. Are promises important to you? YES. Do NOT promise me shit if you're not planning to keep it for sure. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? Well, for one, I'm overweight, so. But if you're talking bone structure and spacing or whatever, then no, I'd say they're average. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? Who says only girls can wear dresses? But regardless, nope. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? No. Have you ever had a period in your life where you were on a major health kick and you were really picky about what you consumed? A few times. Is there anything that you’d never do for any amount of money? There's a good number of things. Do you know what your next injection will be? No. Does anyone call you darling? If so who? Sara sometimes. If you had to have a cartoon character tattooed to you what would it be? If I had to, maybe Pikachu? It'd be a nostalgia thing. You have to dye your hair two colours, what do you choose? Two colors at once? Maybe a pastel mix of pink and purple. Or black with orange highlights and layers? What a Halloween vibe. Ever had something stolen? If so what? Yeah; our basketball hoop was stolen from our yard when I was younger. Do you feel the water in a pool before you get in, or do you dive right in? I feel it. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense! When's the last time you’ve smelled a skunk? I'm actually unsure if I ever have. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Does it annoy you when high-schoolers wear Elmo bookbags? Why the fuck would I care? Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don’t even answer numbers I don’t know. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? No. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot, actually. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Have you ever eaten White Castle burgers? Only those you warm up in the microwave. We don't have the actual restaurant here. What’s the weirdest thing in your body that you can crack? Nothing weird. Do you like chocolate milk? Who doesn't? o: Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because she's probably asleep, and we mainly chat on Discord now. Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? Many years ago. Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? Yeah. Do you want to see somebody right now? Yes. Do you currently have feelings for anybody? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I'm not sure; especially with how I feel about my body now, I avoid it like the plague. Realistically though, probably Mom, passing by or something. Who did you last fall asleep with? If you exclude my cat, Sara. Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them? That would be my niece Emerson, and I'd certainly kiss her head. Can you be your complete self around the person you like? She's the only person I feel 110% comfortable being my authentic self around. How many tattoos would you get? I want A LOT. Like, more than I'd keep track of. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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milfspiggy · 4 years

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Let’s Rank Snifits!

Hello! Snifits are my favorite Mario enemy! To share my love for them, I’m going to go through the entire extended Snifit family, and score them all on a scale from 1 - 10 for your reading pleasure!!

The OG Snifit

Perfect! 10/10!! How could you improve upon such a great design?? Well, you’ll see soon enough, but Snifits are the ultimate being in any form. They’re like Shy Guys, which are already great and wonderful - but Snifit benefits from the addition of a little snoot!!! All creatures could be improved with a snoot, I think. Snifit’s snoot especially looks both boopable and smoochable. I wish I had a Snifit plush. Anyway, let’s move on to some of their friends and get started under the cut!

Spookum

So, weirdly, to start things off, Snifits aren’t called Snifits in Super Mario RPG!! They’re called Spookums! I’m not sure why, but it’s kind of cute, I guess?? This is still pretty much just a Snifit, just with a less cute and evocative name. 9/10.

Snifit, Again

So, I lied!! Sorry!! There actually are enemies called “Snifit” in Super Mario RPG, but they aren’t your standard rank and file Snifits in this game! There are only eight of them, and they’re minibosses!! At least, that’s my understanding from the mario wiki. I haven’t actually gotten that far in Mario RPG yet! I’m bad at video games. Snifits four through seven are actually promoted in-game from Spookums to Snifits if you lose to them in battle, though! That’s a really cool mechanic, and I’d love to see things like that more often in video games. I also like the idea that the colour of the Snifit denotes rank, with black being the strongest. Overall, despite just being a black variant of a normal Snifit, I like these ones just a little bit more than your average Snifit! I just think they’re neat! 10.5/10!!!

Whistle Snifit, Slurp Snifit, and Spike Snifit

Sorry, I lumped these guys all together because they’re kind of just normal Snifits wearing accessories!! They’re all from Paper Mario: Colour Splash. 6/10 for the whole set. I love them all very much but they could stand to be a bit more adventurous!! I like the Spike Snifit the most because they’re wearing a cute little hat and also don’t have something stuffed into their snoot. Why would you put something into an already perfect snoot?? It looks uncomfortable. I like that the one with the straw is called a Slurp Snifit, though!! Slurp is a fun word. Also, these guys all come in red, blue, green, yellow, and pink! Yellow and pink are my favorite colours though, so I used those ones to make up for them being kind of boring :3

Chariot Snifit

Hey, this one is just in a car!! That’s somehow both worse and better than the last few from Colour Splash. It gets half a point though for teaming up with a Chain Chomp, which is another favorite of mine. 8.5/10!!!

Snifaro

Aaaaaaaa!!!!!! Look at these two pals!!! I love them!! The Snifaro is actually just a regular sized Snifit with a cool pharaoh mask standing on top of a regular Snifit inside of a sarcophagus!! The Super Mario Wiki says that one of their attacks features Snifit hopping on top of Snifaro’s sarcophagus and riding it like a surfboard. That’s wonderful and perfect! Take notes, Colour Splash Snifits!! This is how you accessorize!!! 10/10!!

Ice Snifit

Take a look at these two!! They are so adorable and look so warm in their little winter coats!!!! I like the walking head version used in the original Mario+Luigi Superstar Saga a lot, but the more standard looking version in the remakes are impossibly adorable. I would give the original Ice Snifit a 10/10, and the revamped one a 11/10!!! It’s quite possibly my favorite Snifit design.

Ice Snifit, Again

For some reason, this is the only image of these guys on the Mario Wiki, but they’re just as adorable as the previous Ice Snifits!!! Yoshi’s Wooly World is, aesthetically speaking, one of the best Mario games of all time. Possibly the best game ever? It’s too bad that it’s such an easy game. Regardless, this Snifit is on par with the last Ice Snifits, but for whatever reason I like the redesign in Superstar just a liiiiitle bit more. 10.5/10!

Toy Snifit

Absolutely lovely!! I’m not sure if these pals come in different colours, and I’ve never played the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, but this Snifit makes me want to check them out!!! I’d like a real life wind-up toy of this Snifit. Let’s make it happen, Nintendo!! 9/10!!

Scorchit

Very cute! Kind of plain though. Sorry, Scorchit, but simply spitting out fire won’t put you on the same level as Ice Snifit!! It’s also apparently called “Zeus Guy” in the manual for Yoshi’s Island DS? That’s a cute name! I feel like it would fit better if this Snifit spat out lightning bolts instead of fire, though! I like that it’s pink. 7/10

Laser Snifit and Gunner Guy

Ohhhhhohohohohoho!!!!! Ohohoho!!!! This is where the real fun begins!!! Look at these friends!!!! I love them!!!! This is what Slurp Snifit up there should have been!! The snout is the defining trait of Snifits, and these two have bumped it up to eleven!!! Apparently Gunner Guy can’t move on his own, though, which is heartbreaking. Also, he might not actually be a Snifit??? He might be a Shy Guy with a gun on his face! Is that what all Snifits are? Are they the same thing? I choose to believe they aren’t, and the snout is somehow biologically part of their face along with the rest of the mask. I’m rambling, though. Laser Snifit earns an 11/10 from me, while Gunner Guy gets an 8/10 for making me feel sad while still somehow being delightful.

Propeller Mucho

What the heck?! What a whimsical name!! Unfortunately, this is the only image of them on the Mario Wiki, but they still look pretty cute to me! I imagine they’re the same as Fly Guys, but like. Snifits. I love the idea that Shy Guys and Snifits are kind of mechanical or toy-like in nature. Maybe that’s why they live in the toy box in Paper Mario??? Anyways, 6/10. I wish I could see them better! They would have scored higher, but they’re outdone by.......

Flying Snifit

A friend with a way less whimsical name, but a way more whimsical appearance!! Look at those wings!!!! Most Mario enemies, when given the gift of flight, have cute little angel wings slapped onto them - but not Flying Snifit!! No, instead, this little garden buddy sprouts a pair of adorable cartoon butterfly wings!! I adore this Snifit!! They’re going to get a whopping 11/10 from me! We aren’t done with Flying Snifit just yet, however, because they also show up with a couple of friends!!

Flifit and Sneed

I told you our garden party wasn’t over yet!! These are also easily some of the most inventive varieties of Snifit!! There are only a couple of others that stray from the general Snifit body plan, and these two are both some of the weirdest and cutest!! God, I love them. Flifit spits out Sneed, which in turn spits out (presumably inanimate) seeds! I love whatever the heck Sneed is doing in that animation. I choose to interpret it as a little butt waggle. Shake it, Sneed!! For both of these friends, I’m handing out a solid 10/10!!!

Snufit

So, like I said before, there are only a couple of Snifit-adjacent friends that change up the general body plan that is Snifit! Snufits are ghost Snifits that live in Hazy Maze Cave in Super Mario 64!! They’re very cute, but when I was little I was actually kind of afraid of them? I’m not sure why! In the original game on the Nintendo 64, Snufit was round and shaped like a Boo, which is pretty cute! I love the idea that all ghosts in the Mario universe are just big round balls of ghostliness. This version of Snufit gets an 8/10! It’s pretty cute, but the redesign of Snufit in the DS version is so much more appealing to me, for some reason! I think it’s the floppy little sleeves. As someone who always wore sweaters that were much too big for me and always seemed to have “puppy paws” as my mom would call them, this new Snufit just calls to me. Also, shouldn’t these guys have been called Spookums?? I guess Mario RPG did come out before Mario 64, but it wouldn’t be the first time some weird name shenanigans had gone down in the Mario universe. Anyways, the redesign of Snufit gets an 11/10 from me!! It’s up there with Ice Snifit and Flying Snifit as one of my favorites!!

Spider

Hey, these guys aren’t even in any of the games!! I think that should change though. I like them a lot!! Pretty creepy, and bizarre, though! I used to watch The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! a fair amount when i was little, but I must have missed whichever episode these guys appeared in. I think I would have remembered them for the rest of my life if I had!! I used to be really afraid of spiders when I was little. I think they’re really neat now though!! Still, I’m only going to give these guys an 8/10 for virtue of never being used in a game, and also for being kind of creepy and also for not having eight legs. I know that stuff isn’t their fault! It’s just the way things are sometimes. Life is cruel, especially to spiders.

Spiky Snifit

Okay, these guys are the last of the official Snifit friends! I probably should have put them up with Flifit, but I wanted them to stand on their own. I love cacti a lot, being from a desert, and saguaro cacti are just the best!! I also love how Flifit seems to have their mask organically growing from their stem, but Spiky here could easily just be a normal cactus with a Snifit mask slapped onto it!! Does it have a face underneath?? Is it literally just a cactus??? Could you make anything into a Snifit by putting a mask onto it??? Spiky Snifit here raises a lot of questions, and answers literally none of them, and for that I love them. 9.5/10!!

Finally, I would like to give an honorable mention to one other Mario enemy that I think has been unfairly left behind and forgotten. Let’s take a moment to remember a dear friend....

Tweeter

Tweeter is an enemy that debuted in Doki Doki Panic/ Super Mario Bros 2 alongside Shy Guy, Snifit, Bob-omb, Birdo, and many other friends that we all know, love, and continually see in Mario games even today!! Unfortunately, unlike many of the other enemies from Mario 2, Tweeter hasn’t really ever shown up again! They make the occasional cameo here and there, but even those are few and far between!! Why haven’t Tweeters ever shown up again?? It’s unclear, but they’re also pretty high up on my list of favorite mario enemies! It turns out I just love masks and snoots, especially if that snoot is also a beak. If I were to give these guys a score, and I will, I would give them a 100/100!! Gone, but never forgotten (by me).

If you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I love you, and so does Snifit and all their many friends!! Feel free to shoot me a message telling me your favorite Mario enemy, and check out the blog @weirdmarioenemies !! I’ve been binge reading their entire archive, and as you could probably guess, it heavily inspired me to make this post! I just love Snifit so much, and wanted to spread the love!! I hope you all come to love them as much as I do. Also, @nintendo, please bring back Tweeter and also make Snifit a playable character in Mario Kart, Mario Party, Mario Tennis, your next main Mario platformer, et cetera, et cetera... In fact, let’s ditch Mario and make the games all about Snifit!!!

New Super Snifit Bros!! Coming soon to a store near you!!

#snifit #shy guy #tweeter #mario enemies #weird mario enemies #reviews #mario reviews #mario enemy reviews #doki doki panic #super mario bros 2 #mario 2 #i dont normally tag things #but boy do i want to spread the good word about snifit #i just *clenches fist*#love snifit so much

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 4 years

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“Rise of Skywalker” Questions

How did Palpatine survive the events of Return of the Jedi?

Where has be been for the last 30 years?

How did he build an entire fleet of Death Star Destroyers?

Where did he get the technology to build a thousand super lasers?

If he’s been pulling the strings this whole time, why did he bother making Star Killer Base after the first two Death Stars failed the exact same way? A fleet of super laser star destroyers is objectively better and more useful.

Why did he build all the Death Star Destroyers on a planet they can’t leave by themselves?

Why can’t they navigate away from the planet without a radio tower?

When they turn off the radio tower, the head ship of the fleet is able to navigate for them anyway, so why can’t they all just do that and navigate for themselves?

What happened to the one Death Star Destroyer that blew up that random planet? Did it return to get stuck with the rest of fleet on the planet, or is it still out on the galaxy?

Why did none of the fleet escape the planet during the battle? Surely one or two or ten could have managed to navigate away (Poe says they couldn’t tell which was was up due to the magnetic field of the Sith planet, but, like, up is up, the sky is up, it’s really easy to fly up and away from a planet, just point your engines towards it and turn them on; ALSO a billion rebel ships made it all the way to said planet, so why couldn’t a single Sith ship leave it?)

When did Palpatine have a son? With who?

Why was his son a “nobody” instead of the heir apparent to the Empire?

Was his son part of the Rebellion? The Resistance? Neither? Rey was born in 15 BBY and her parents disappeared like 10-ish years later, but her dad is clearly older than 25, so he must have been born between Episodes 3 and 4.

Was he force sensitive too? Why did Palpatine have his son killed and keep searching for his granddaughter instead? Wouldn’t his son still be a valuable asset? Rey’s mom told the random Sith assassin that Rey is definitely not on Jakku, so why didn’t Palpatine look on Jakku?

Who was Lor San Tekka in the Force Awakens? Did he know who Rey was and guard over her like Obi Wan did to Luke? Kylo has apparently known him for a long time (”look how old you’ve become”), so did he know Luke and Leia during the original trilogy? Did he know Palpatine’s son?

In the books and video games, it is revealed that Palpatine sabotaged the Emprie after his death (search “the Contingency” and “Operation: Cinder” on Wookieepedia) Why? Why did he do this? Why did he cripple his empire if he survived and continued pulling strings behind the scenes? Is it because Disney is making this up as they go along and forgot to reconcile their new idea with their old idea from a few years ago?

Luke says that Leia knew Rey was a Palpatine the whole time, so did Luke know about her dad? Did he ever try to recruit the son of the Emperor to the light side of the force, or did he just reject his dad because he was a million year old evil scrotum?

Palpatine says he impersonated Vader to try and lure Ben Solo to the dark side. If Palpatine pretended to be Darth Vader, why didn’t the real ghost of Anakin come to his grandson and intervene? Why did Anakin let Ben think he was evil? Anakin appeared before Luke at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi,’ he appeared to Rey in this film as a disembodied voice, why didn’t he appear to his own grandson?

Palpatine created Snoke; was Snoke the product of his “Darth-Plagueis-midichlorian-create-life-using-the-force” technique he hinted about in that meme everyone has stopped caring about Episode 3? If Anakin is Space Jesus (virgin-born chosen one), does that make Snoke the Space Anti-Christ? If so, why did Snoke die like a bitch?

Darth Maul got cut in half but came back in the cartoon with robot legs and this was carried over into canon when Disney took over, so he showed up in another cartoon and then Solo; could Snoke have come back with robot legs?

Rey impales Kylo but then force-heals him; why didn’t Obi Wan force-heal Qui Gon Jinn after Darth Maul impaled him? Disney just keeps making things up with no regard for continuity because they know the average consumer doesn’t care and that the opinions of butt hurt fanboys like me don’t matter because we keep shelling out money to see the franchise no matter how much we nitpick and complain...

Poe’s parents were part of the rebellion and Leia is a surrogate mom to him; at what point did he become a drug dealer spice smuggler for the criminal underground? Did he leave the resistance to become a scoundrel then come back, or was he raised a scoundrel and then joined the good side because he was compelled to do so? If the latter, doesn’t that just give him the exact same story arc as Han Solo in both Solo and A New Hope?

Where did the berries go after Kylo Ren spilled them in his room? They show the audience that Rey’s and Kylo’s surroundings are linked when they have their dates visions, but the berries are gone in the next shot. Also, did he leave Darth Vader’s helmet down in the village after Rey accidentally teleported it to him, or did he bring it back with him? He was able to snatch the necklace AND the lightsaber from Rey through these visions, so the berries and the helmet were real and not just force projections. (this one is a joke, I don’t really care)

Is Finn secretly force sensitive too? I’d be totally down for that; I’ve wanted that ever since 2015 when we saw the first teaser of him holding a lightsaber! He sensed Rey was hurt AND knew exactly what ship to attack because he “had a feeling.” Is this going to go anywhere, or was it just a plot device so he could find the one ship he needed out of the entire fleet?

Where was Lando for the last 10-15 years (however long it was since Kylo’s fall and Luke’s exile)? Where was Wedge Antilles who appeared in exactly one shot and then never again? Where was Nien Nunb and why hasn’t his name ever been said on screen? Speaking of names, I think Poe was the first person to ever actually say Snap Wexley’s name on screen, but even then only his nickname and not until he was shot out of the air and exploded.

Why did Zorri Bliss change her mind to much? First she wants to kill Poe and sell out his friends, then she wants to run away with him and gives him her MacGuffin so he can slip onto the enemy ship, then she saves his ass during the final battle, then when he gives her the bedroom eyes she shakes her head to turn him down. Why is she here?

How did Maz Kanata get Luke’s lightsaber? How does Rey have the lightsaber after it was destroyed in The Last Jedi? Canon nerd tech manuals say that kyber crystals are super important and that broken ones don’t work right (Kylo’s blade is all fizzly because his crystal is cracked), so how did Rey repair it? Where did Rey get the crystal for her yellow saber? I heard someone say that it’s actually white and it’s supposed to be a combination of the classic blue, green and red saber colors, but she didn’t have Luke’s green saber, she had two blue sabers and Kylo threw his red one away.

And most importantly

Where is Baby Yoda? Surely he has to be Little Kid Yoda by now; it’s been like 20 years since the events of The Mandalorian.

I don’t even enjoy this franchise anymore. I know my opinion doesn’t matter, so I’m just gonna stop giving it. I’m done with Star Wars media. I’m not gonna watch it anymore; no anthology films, no more saga episodes (because we all KNOW x, xi and xii are in the works no matter what Disney says), no streaming service shows, no cartoons, no books, no video games (I never played the video games anyway), no theme park rides, no more moichendising

#i have several questions #star wars #the rise of skywalker #star wars the rise of skywalker #rise of skywalker #episode 9 #episode ix #star wars episode 9 #star wars episode ix #disney #lucasfilm #the mandalorian #plot holes #questions #unanswered questions #jj abrams #kathleen kennedy #lucasfilm story group #skywalker saga

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