#the premise of a stranger giving me a drug that's going to fuck up my ability to process anything or remember any of what happened

[thethingything]

finally processing that we're probably gonna have to have these teeth removed with either sedation or general anaesthetic and unfortunately I have a phobia of both of these to the point where just thinking about it gives us panic attacks and I genuinely don't know what to do because I absolutely want to avoid this at all costs but we also might not have any other option

[junovrsmp4]

one of the girls

part 1. the arrangement

Chris Sturniolo was bad news. You knew it, every girl within a 100 mile radius knew it. Your own brother had warned you to stay away from him, despite being his best friend. That didn’t stop you from wanting him though.

pairing: chris x reader

pt.1 summary: despite all the warnings, and his reputation, you're intrigued by chris. on your 18th birthday, u find out exactly why he's bad news. and like a drug, u get addicted to him. cue, the arrangement

warnings: ABSOLUTE FILTH, very very plot heavy, rough sex, oral, choking, slapping, over-stimulation, mild bdsm, p in v, degradation, slight age gap (reader is 16 and chris is 18 when they first start fooling around, reader is 18 and chris is 20 when they first have penetrative sex)

word count: 6.9K (lmao i think this is going to be a thing)

author's note: so, i found out as i was writing this that @worldlxvlys has a fic with a very similar premise because its inspired by the same song, check it out if u havent already, its so fucking good

It had started out innocently enough.

Chris was your older brother’s best friend, so naturally he was always over at your house or your brother over at his. You remember the first time you’d seen him, sitting on your living room couch, dressed in a black t-shirt and denim shorts, sporting a silver chain. You’d just run down the stairs, yelling for your brother to order you some food when you spotted him. The shock of seeing a complete stranger- a hot one, at that- had you stopping dead in your tracks. You remember how you’d just stared at him like an idiot, before turning around and sprinting back up to your room. You cringe a little, every time you think back to that moment, how you’d been dressed that night, in one of your old sports bras and baggy shorts, your hair an absolute mess.

Awkward first meeting aside, you got to know him, little by little. Sometimes, through little anecdotes reluctantly shared by your brother at your behest, and sometimes, from the man himself. Every time he came over, you’d make excuses to be around him and your brother, and you remember how he’d always smile at you, include you in conversations even when your brother would groan on about how annoying you were being and try to push you back to your room.

So of course, you developed a crush on him.

As a thirteen year old, you would make up cute little scenarios in your head of how you might confess your crush to Chris, and maybe he’d tell you he always liked you too, or maybe, maybe he’d be the one to confess first, with a bashful, awkward smile, and you’d become boyfriend and girlfriend and live happily ever after.

It didn’t take long for you to get over your little fantasies though.

While it hadn’t been obvious to you at thirteen, as you grew older, you witnessed the whirlwind that was Chris Sturniolo, the guy who got every girl’s attention, showed them a good time, and then left them in the dust when he got bored, before moving onto the next.

Your brother, bless his soul, did warn you to stay away from Chris. Had tried multiple times, to tell you how much of a player he was, how he just had a rotation of girls ready to go, and was always looking for someone new to ruin.

“He’s no good,” he’d said. “He’s my best friend, and he’s like a brother to me, but I wouldn’t trust him around you, alone.”

“Why are you friends with someone like that then?” you’d asked.

Your brother hadn’t been able to give you an answer then.

Knowing what you did about Chris didn’t get rid of your interest in him though. You’d long since let go of the silly fantasy of being his girlfriend. It had been a childhood delusion and nothing more, but you still found him…intriguing. The way he commanded every room he walked in, the way every girl around him fell to their knees to be able to service him in some way, the way guys hung around him in hopes of having his appeal somehow rub off on them, it fascinated you.

Even more fascinating was how Chris seemed to be so obviously putting up some sort of front. There was an edge to the cool, suave persona he seemed to be parading in for everyone else.

For every person who told you to stay far, far away from Chris, all they did was stoke the little part of you that wanted to see just what he was really like.

Besides, we all know what they say about curious cats; curiosity may kill them, but satisfaction definitely brings them back.

-------------------------------------

The party was already in full swing by the time you’d made it through the front door. The entire house was lit with flashing lights, bright and blinding, the music so loud it seemed like it almost thrummed straight through the bodies that surrounded you, almost consuming you and swallowing you into the heart of the party.

A party to celebrate the end of an era, and you turning eighteen.

You hadn’t wanted anything crazy, but trust your friends to go behind your back to plan something big.

“It isn’t just your birthday, ya know?” they’d said. “We’re finally done with high school!”

It seemed like they’d invited everyone who was anyone in your town, because you don’t even recognize some of the people at the party. Friends of friends of friends, and so on, you guess. Some were your seniors in high school, who had graduated way before you and your friends. It helped that your birthday and graduation coincided with summer break, because it meant a lot of the older kids were back from college for the holidays, which guaranteed the presence of more…discreet party favors.

The air was thick with smoke, from weed, tobacco, and god knows what else, the humidity only amplifying the feeling of breathlessness you feel every time you’re in a big crowd. You spot your brother and his group of friends huddled together, taking up a section of one of the big couches, all of them nursing beer bottles. All except one.

Chris’ eyes are on you the minute you step through the crowd. Unlike all the other guys sitting beside him, he opted out of drinking, and was instead smoking a joint, plumes of smoke slightly obscuring his face. He looked relaxed, leaned back with one arm stretched over the top of the couch, legs spread out. His eyes scan you from head to toe, and you see the way he glides his tongue across his bottom lip before biting into it. Your breath catches in your throat when he slightly shifts his hips, his eyes flitting down and then back up at you, like he’s silently asking you to go sit on his lap. You almost go over to him, slightly swaying on your feet, before you remember where you are and who’s sitting right next to him. You stand there long enough to see some other girl swoop in and plant herself on his thigh, looping her arms around his neck and leaning close to whisper in his ear.

Your brother spots you just then, and you make a show of pointing a thumb at Chris and rolling your eyes, like you’re not desperately wishing it was you that was on Chris’ lap, before making your way to the make-shift drink station that had been set up on the dinner table, where you find Matt fixing drinks for his friends and himself.

“Hey kid,” he drawls out, bobbing his head to the music, and swaying slightly as he pours drinks for the people around him. “Happy birthday!”

His outburst has everyone nearby yelling out their own wishes, and you thank everyone, accepting side hugs and shoulder pats from a bunch of them. One of them even comments on your outfit, telling you that you looked sexy and asking if you wanted to ‘hang out’ with him for a bit, with a waggle of his eyebrows.

You look down at yourself, flattening your palms over the black mini skirt you were wearing, the length, obscenely short. You’d paired it with a black bralette, a cropped mesh top with a watercolor wine print and platform ankle boots. Your friends had helped you with your hair and makeup, and you knew you looked really fucking sexy, if you did say so yourself.

You yell out a quick thanks but decline the offer to hang out, before asking the Matt to pour you a drink. You can still feel Chris staring, but you don’t dare look back, because looking back would mean giving in to him. Not yet.

You had a game to play after all.

-------------------------------------

Funnily enough, the game between you and Chris had started with a literal game. Specifically, his last lacrosse game for Sommerville High.

You usually didn’t care to go to school events, especially to watch a bunch of people play a sport that you didn’t understand, but it was also your brother’s last game that he’d be playing for your high school, so you’d gone to show your support. Your parents had been there too, and they’d taken a seat next to Chris’ family.

“Oh, this is such a bittersweet moment, isn’t it?” you hear Mary Lou ask your mom, who nods solemnly. They strike up a conversation about their kids, how they grow up oh so fast. It’s funny watching them lean over to talk to each other while Nick sits between them, looking bored out of his mind.

He catches your eye and breaks out into a grin, before politely asking your mom if she’d like to switch seats with him, which she excitedly accepts.

“Never thought I’d see you at one of these,” Nick comments as he looks down at the field, eyes searching for his brothers, you assume. “Want some?”

He’s got a bag of popcorn that he tips your way, and you thank him before grabbing a handful. You make idle conversation for a while, mostly about how he, his brothers and your brother would be graduating soon, and about your classes. You avoid the topic of the triplets ever-growing YouTube channel; you don’t need Nick knowing you obsessively watch every video of theirs.

Nick was a welcome presence; where his brother Chris managed to put you on edge and make you feel hyperaware of his presence, Nick was comforting, grounding.

As disinterested as you are in sports, the energy of the field gets to you eventually, your eyes tracking the same three players, 3, 4, 15, Chris, Matt, your brother, over and over, while listening to Nick chime in occasionally about the score. You have enough awareness to pick up on the energy of the crowd, and it looked like the Sommerville players were doing really fucking well. You watch your brother and Matt make a couple of saves, and Chris going full offense by scoring a bunch of points for the team, all while clutching onto Nick as the two of you cheer each time.

It’s down to the last few minutes of the game, and you watch with bated breath as both teams turn the ball over to score a point or stop the other from scoring.

“Wait, what’s going on?” you ask Nick. With only two minutes left, you notice all the players running to the edge of the field and forming team huddles.

“Timeout,” Nick says before taking a sip of his drink. “Coaches probably want to discuss final strategies with the team, but it won’t make much of a difference at this point. We’re winning this thing!”

“Oh, I see…” you mutter, and your eyes gravitate towards player number 3. You can’t see much of Chris’s face from this distance, but you watch as he swings an arm over your brother’s shoulder. His head tips upward slightly, and for a second, you almost feel like he’s looking right up at you, but that would be crazy.

The game is back on, and you watch as your brother immediately springs into action, trying to get the ball that one of the players on the rival team had managed to grab. A shrill whistle blows, and Nick winces beside you.

“Shit- what’s wrong?”

“Your brother just got a foul, kid,” Nick says with a shake of his head. “He was playing really well though, damn.”

One last minute. You watch as the Sommerville team expertly passes the ball around, going back and forth between a bunch of the guys as the other team tries to bat it from them. You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath when you see Chris has the ball now, and with just a few seconds left on the clock, he makes the last score of the game, and the crowd goes fucking wild.

Everything else was a blur after. You remember being ushered onto the field by Nick, your parents joining you as the players all took pictures together, as a team, with their families. You remember seeing Chris’ eyes widen as he took in your presence, before quickly flashing you his signature smirk.

“Look who decided to finally show up for a school game!” he’d said, arms cross over his chest, and you’d remember feeling small under his gaze, holding onto to Nick’s arm to hold back from flinging yourself at him in front of all these people, in front of your family.

The next few minutes had been spent taking pictures, and there was a particular moment when both your mother and Mary Lou had asked for a big group photo, and that’s how you found yourself pressed up between Chris and your brother, who had his arm slung over your shoulder. You still remember the way Chris’ fingers brushed against yours, your breath catching in your throat when, in an extremely bold move, considering you were with your families, he’d linked his pinky with yours.

That’s how it had started. Looks exchanged across rooms, stolen touches hidden from everyone else’s eyes. A pull and push, a game of who’d break first. It was like something that emboldened Chris that day of the game, and he’d test the limits to what you’d allow him to do to you. The goal for him seemed to be to get you to let down the invisible guard you’d put up whenever he was around, to get you to admit something even you weren’t aware of. Your goal was to get your fill of Chris in hopes of satiating whatever curiosity and hunger you had for him before you had to watch him with some other girl as soon as he got bored with you.

There were nights after that game when he’d come over to your house to hang out with your brother when Chris would sneak into your room, under the pretense of going to the bathroom or to grab a snack.

It was during those nights that you’d exchange rushed, heated kisses, Chris grabbing onto your waist while you clutched at his shoulders, pulling him close before quickly pushing him away, breathless. He’d swipe his tongue across his bottom lip before sinking his teeth into it, fighting back the grin that threatened to take over his face.

“Go out with me,” Chris had asked one night, leaning against your dresser and fiddling with the rings you’d left there from earlier that day.

“No, Chris,” you had replied, already back to reading the book he’d pushed out of the way when he’d crawled over you to kiss you. You tried to ignore the way your lips feel swollen and bruised from where he’d bitten them.

“I don't know why you’re playing so hard to get,” he said with her arms crossed over this chest, his lips quirked up in his signature smirk. “You clearly want me- why not date me?”

You can't help but let out a chuckle at that.

“What?”

“Everyone and their mother knows you’re not the dating kind, Chris” you said, with a tight smile. “You’re going to bail the minute it gets too real, before going with one of the other girls in your roster.”

The silence that follows makes you look up from your book, and Chris is watching you with a look you can’t comprehend.

“Touché. So you’re good with being one of my girls then? I just don’t want you to come crying to me later saying you were hoping I’d be your boyfriend or some shit.”

You roll your eyes, hating the way his words made you feel. It was pathetic, chasing after crumbs, knowing you wouldn’t get anything more. You knew what you were getting into, and you weren’t expecting anything more. but it still made you feel like a fool.

“By the way,” Chris begins to speak, arms crossed tightly across his chest, his shoulders stiff. “The only reason I bail-” he says the word with a harsh tone you’d never heard from him before, “-is because all of you seem to have already set your minds on being with me for one thing, and one thing only. Not that I’m too mad about it.”

He’s scowling now, and you see the muscles in his jaw flex, like he’s gritting his teeth. He was definitely mad, about what exactly, you weren’t so sure.

“What do you mean?” you’d asked, but Chris was already walking out of your room.

You’d spent the rest of the night wondering what had gotten Chris angry. There was a part of you, the one that really, really enjoyed Chris’ attention, that was worried you’d pushed him away, but a bigger part of you wondered if this was for the best. You’d gotten more than you’d ever imagined from him, and it was probably best to leave it at this before you ended up getting swept up in…him.

It didn't matter in the end, because that same night, after making a show of leaving out the front door to go back home, he’d snuck back into your room through your window and spent an hour leaving harsh kisses and bites on your lips, your neck and your collarbones.

He was clearly taking out his frustration from earlier on you, his fingers gripping at your waist and thighs as he pressed your body down onto your bed with this own.

He took, and took. Took your breath away with his kisses, took your wrists in his hands, grip tight as he held them down on either side of your head, all while laying claim on you and your body. Just like you wanted him to.

Realizations were made that night, because as soon as Chris had gotten his fill and left, you’d made yourself cum, over and over, as you imagined him being rougher with you, laying his claim on you with harsher, more painful touches to your body.

-------------------------------------

Parties like these really weren’t your scene, but you did enjoy being a fly on the wall, observing all the people around. Drunk teens and young adults giving into more baser instincts, their judgement clouded by the various substances they’d consumed. Some were loud and brazen, engaging in risqué activities right where everyone could see them, some hidden in dark corners, making out with each other.

You’re still nursing your first drink, letting it pull you into a tipsy haze, and you vaguely register the guy standing beside you talking about something you had absolutely no interest in. He’s got one arm against the wall as he leans into your personal space, his lips close to your ear as he speaks, to make sure you can hear him over the loud music. You let out noncommittal hums and nod occasionally to seem like you’re listening, but your eyes are trained on Chris and the girl who’s currently sitting on his lap, a different girl from the one you saw when you first walked in, grinding down on him.

Just as Chris turns his head in your direction, you turn your head towards the guy next to you, bringing your free hand to his and pulling it to rest on your waist. You smile up at him and laugh at a joke he’d just made, something incredibly unfunny and slightly problematic even, before telling him you were going to go grab another drink.

You head into the kitchen, where you get pulled into a conversation with a couple of your former classmates. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Chris slip into the kitchen as well, before he squeezes past you. What no one sees is the way his hand lingers on your lower back as he moves past, dipping low to grab your ass, before quickly moving to the group of people that were also in the room, slinging his arms over the shoulders of two guys before delving into a loud discussion about this seasons lacrosse game.

Heat blooms across your face, and you bite your lower lip to keep from shouting across the kitchen at Chris to just fuck you already, because that wasn’t the plan. You had to have more control than that now, because this was the only time you’d have it tonight.

Your mind wanders back to the several texts you’d exchanged with Chris over the years, after you’d first started your…dalliance with him. They were sparse, you mostly kept your conversations minimal over text, but there had been one night last year, when you hadn’t been able to sleep and had found yourself sending the one text you thought you’d never send to Chris.

> i need something

You’d immediately regretted it. You thought you’d worded it in such a way that you could pass it off, pretend it didn’t happen, or that it was meant for someone else, but you knew Chris would be able to tell exactly what you meant. He would be able to figure out everything you’d thought of him since the past year, every dirty thought, every horny fantasy you’ve had since you first started letting him kiss and touch you, only ever with your clothes on, nothing that progressed past heavily making out and groping each other, leaving you panting and breathless, and him hard.

It was 2 a.m. on a Thursday night and your text could only mean one thing.

You’d put your phone down, trying to go to sleep, hoping that, come morning, if Chris did reply to you, you could pretend you had sent it by mistake, but the anxiousness you felt made you pick your phone back up, and you saw it, the three dots that meant Chris was typing a response.

> U need to go to sleep

That would have been the responsible thing to do. You imagined being bolder, but you were only sixteen, and you had no experience flirting with guys, especially with guys like Chris, so you’d sent off a quick text apologizing, and telling him it was meant for someone else.

> Is that true? Who was it meant for?

> goodnight chris

> Tell me who

> no

> Need is a strong word, almost sounded like u wanted some late night lovin’

You don’t think, you couldn’t think, not with the way your blood rushing in your ears makes you feel slightly faint, and before you know it, you reply with-

> well i feel strongly about it

> Strong feelings can be dangerous

> i want something dangerous

You were being honest. Chris was dangerous. This was dangerous.

> Want? Or need?

> need

There was a long pause, no ellipses indicating Chris was texting back, and for a moment, you think he’d abandoned you, that he was probably texting the many other, more experienced, girls he could be with.

> Dont fall asleep yet. I’ll be there in a bit.

> okay

> So the text WAS meant for me then

> shut up

> :P

The abrupt shift in tone of the conversation had made you giggle a bit, but you remember how you’d waited with bated breath for Chris to show up outside your window, before letting him into your room.

Chris had spent those early morning hours teasing you with his mouth and hands, whispering dirty little things into your ears, coaxing your needs out of you, demanding you tell him exactly what you meant with that text, with one hand wrapped around your throat, applying just enough pressure to make you feel breathless but not take away your ability to breathe, because you told him you wanted it, while the other one dipped down into your underwear.

You’re so fucking responsive, even to the slightest touch, he’d said. Everyone thinks you’re such a good girl, but here you are, sneaking around with your brother’s best friend, what would everyone think?

You’d let your body melt under his touch, letting him envelope you with his touch, his words, his scent.

I think about how you’d look with my cock inside you. I think about tasting you. I think about holding you down and fucking you until you can’t hold back your sweet little moans. God, you’re so fucking desperate for my dick, aren’t you?

And you were, you really fucking were, because no matter how much you pretended to be unfazed by him and his touch, the truth of the matter was, every moment you spent with him was followed by you locked up in your room with your fingers desperately pumping in and out of you, imagining how he would fuck you if you actually let him, how he’d open you up and push his dick into you, how you’d be so full of him.

That was the first night he’d touched you, really touched you, the first night you’d cum from fingers that weren’t your own.

A loud laugh accompanied by a friendly slap on the shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts, and you let out a weak chuckle as your friends remark on how out of it you seem, even though you’ve only had one drink. You look up to see Chris looking back at you over his shoulder, and when you meet his eyes, he jerks his head up slightly, and you know exactly what he’s trying to indicate.

Come upstairs.

Your eyes widen and you shake your head as imperceptibly as you can, even though you’re going to do exactly what he wanted, and you see how it gets him excited, because Chris liked being teased, liked how you played so hard to get, and you loved playing it up, acting all coy and innocent when both of you knew otherwise.

You tell your friends you need some fresh air, but instead of making your way out to the backyard, you slowly make your way upstairs, pushing past people and hoping to all powers above that there was at least one room that wasn’t occupied.

You take your time checking every room on the floor, opening doors to people in various stages of undress, quickly yelling out apologies before moving to the next, until finally, you come to a door furthest from the stairs leading up to the floor. It was quieter here, the music from downstairs was almost muffled. You press an ear to the door, and when you don’t hear any noises from the other side, you excitedly turn the handle to open the door, but it doesn’t budge.

Locked. Fuck.

Just as you’re about to turn away, you feel a presence right behind you, the heat of a body. The strong scent of weed washes over you as hands come up to rest on your hips, before warm lips brush over the shell of your ear.

“Look what we have here,” Chris whispers in a teasing tone, sending a tingle up your spine, making your skin break out in goosebumps. You shiver slightly as his arms encircle you, before he rests his chin on your shoulder, looking down at the door knob.

“It’s locked,” you whisper back, your hands coming up to hold onto his forearms.

“I know,” he mumbles, before holding out one of his hands, and you see a set of keys.

“Go on,” Chris says, nuzzling into your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your burning hot skin. You quickly grab the keys and fumble with the lock as Chris’ hands wander down between your thighs, grabbing onto them as he presses into you from behind. You feel his length, not hard yet, but still hard to ignore, and the possibilities of how tonight is going to go has your head reeling.

You finally get the door open, and you stumble inside, Chris not far behind. You watch as he grabs the key out of the lock, before following you in and locking the door from inside this time.

You have half the mind to ask him how he got the keys to the door, how he thought of keeping it locked, but all that goes out of your head when he swivels you around and pushes you up against the wall, one hand cradling your head as his lips descend on yours. His fingers grip the hair at the base of your neck and pull, making your head tip back and you gasp as both pain and pleasure bloom and settle low in your stomach, your thighs clenching, and he takes that as invitation to lick his way into your mouth, his tongue fighting and very quickly winning for dominance. Your knees almost buckle from the intensity of it all, from just how turned on you are.

Here you were, with Chris Sturniolo, your brother’s best friend, pulling at your hair, grabbing you so hard you’re sure you’ll have bruises on your hips and thighs by morning. It was a heady feeling, being wanted, and being wanted by Chris was like experiencing the best high from the best drugs.

Chris lets go of your hair to grab onto your hips, pulling your waist away from the wall and grinding you against him, like you were just here to help him get off, and it still surprises you, how much it turns you on. The thought of being just a body to be used, a body that Chris owns and controls.

Your hands find purchase in his hair as you gasp under the assault of his mouth on yours, his teeth biting into your lower lip and pulling, before going back to twisting his tongue with yours. It’s a messy kiss, rough and just painful enough that it has you wet and dripping. You feel the way your underwear sticks to your folds, and the patheticness of your own arousal turns you on even more.

Chris’s hands snake up your stomach under your top, making it bunch up right below your neck. His gaze is heated as his eyes rove over your body, before he’s pulling your bralette down, and the fabric of it bunches up tight below your breasts, pushing them up further into Chris’ face. He takes no time before licking and sucking on your nipples, groaning as he grinds his growing erection against your thigh.

“Chris- please, please-” you whine, body writhing under his attention, hips bucking as you try and find some relief.

“Stay still,” Chris says, and it almost sounds like a growl, which has the opposite effect to what was intended. Your moans get louder and he bites your nipple, your chest arching off the wall.

Chris straightens up, one of his hands coming up to smack you on the cheek before grabbing you by the chin, forcing your head back against the wall.

“Stay. Still.”

The slap had been more shocking than painful, but it still turns you on, just how rough Chris is being with you right now, and you think about how much rougher you hope it gets.

Chris peers down at you, his grip on your chin relentless. “Will you stay still and quiet?”

You nod against his grip, teeth sinking into your lower lip to hold back a whine.

“Good girl,” he says, thumb stroking your lips before pushing into your mouth. You instantly wrap your lips around it, tongue laving at the tip of it before sucking it deeper into your mouth. You see Chris’ pupils dilate as he watches you, mouth falling open slightly as he heaves deep breaths in and out.

“Take off your panties,” he says as he pulls his thumb away, swiping it over your nipple. He chuckles as you jerk away from the cold, wet touch. His fingers flutter over your skin as you quickly shove your underwear down your legs, and you think about kicking them away, but Chris holds out his hand.

Oh.

You hand over your underwear, soaked from your arousal, to Chris, who pockets it with a smirk.

“Hm, good girl,” Chris mutters, before patting the side of your leg. “Spread your legs.”

You peer up at him through your eyelashes as you spread your legs apart and the cold air in the room hits your heated core, making you quiver.

Chris doesn’t take his time. His body presses up against you as he brings a hand up your skirt and to your core, two fingers sweeping through your folds to gather the wetness that was dripping out of you before pumping them in and out of you, each thrust of his fingers punching a gasp out of you.

The room fills with the wet, obscene sounds of Chris’ fingers squelching in and out of you, and he adds a third finger, twisting and spreading them inside you to stretch you out.

“Fuck, Chris, I need you-” you moan, your hips rolling and pushing down to meet Chris’ fingers. You bare your throat to him as he presses his nose to the spot under your ear, his teeth scraping down your throat. His fingers continue pumping into you, pressing repeatedly at the spongy bundle of nerves that had you clenching around them, and that’s how he gives you your first orgasm of the night.

“You’re such a slut for me, aren’t you?” Chris asks, nipping at your jaw. “Look at how fucking wet you are.”

He steps back and holds up his fingers, glistening from the wetness, and spreads them apart, and you see the strings of your fluids clinging between his fingers, some of it dripping down onto his palm. Your breath catches in your throat when Chris brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking on them and moaning at your taste. He’d done this before, when he’d fingered you, and it made you squirm each time, seeing this visual confirmation that he enjoyed your taste.

Your eyes flick down to Chris’ crotch, where you see the clear outline of his hard dick, and you realize that this is the first time you’re actually going to have a dick inside you. You remember the first time you’d seen it when you’d asked him if you could suck him off, and he’d had you kneel for him, before pulling it out of his sweatpants and feeding it into your mouth, guiding your head up and down his length, before he’d eventually just jerked off and cum all over your face.

You watch him as he pulls it out now, and you can’t explain how oddly attractive his penis is. You didn’t think you’d find a penis attractive, but Chris’ was. It was long and thick, but not too thick, and it curved slightly to the left. It was ruddy now, from all the blood that had rushed down to it and the head of his dick glistened from the precum that was beading and dripping out of his slit. Chris wraps his hand around it, stroking it slowly to gather his precum and slick it up.

You make a move to step towards him, thinking he’ll move things to the bed, but Chris grabs your hips and turns you to face the wall before lining his body against yours, pushing you into the wall, with your face turned sideways, your cheek pressed down against the cold surface. You hear the telltale sounds of a condom wrapper being torn open and rubber being stretched over skin.

You look back at Chris, eyebrows furrowing, as he hikes your skirt up your ass, lining his cock up against you and grinding it between your cheeks.

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” Chris whispers in your ear, his hand coming up to circle your throat, pushing up to tip your head against his shoulder. You feel his other hand reach down between the two of you, before guiding his dick into you, and your eyes flutter close when the tip slides through your folds to push into you, stretching you. Chris keeps his grip on your throat tight, and braces his other arm against the wall right beside your head.

Your body opens up for him, accepting him into you, as Chris sets a brutal pace, his dick driving in and out of you, leaving you breathless.

“Chris- oh god, f-fuck, ngh-” you whimper, your hands scrambling to grab onto him, one hand clutching at his bicep, while the other comes up to grip the wrist of the hand that is squeezing your throat. “Harder, please- fuck, fuck, fuck- choke me harder-”

“Such a fucking slut, what would everyone think if they knew you were up here begging me to choke you, huh?” Chris rasps out against your temple. “What would your brother think?”

You clench around him, eyes rolling into the back of your head as he continues restricting your airflow, arousal and shame making your blood run hot in equal measure.

“You love being split open on my cock, don’t ya? Your pussy is fucking dripping around it,” he grunts, punctuating his words with harder thrusts into you, the head of his dick hitting the bundle of nerves that has you seeing stars.

“Yes, yes, yes-” you chant, legs quivering as you gush around Chris’ dick. “I’m gonna cum-”

“Yeah? Cum on my dick, c’mon,” Chris rasps, the hand that was braced against the wall moving to rub against your clit, making you buck up against him. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight still.”

His fingers rub furious circles over your clit, which has you clenching rhythmically around him, and it doesn’t take long before you cum around Chris’ cock, the force of your orgasm wracking through your body and making you quiver violently.

Chris keeps thrusting into you, chasing his own orgasm, and you’re hit with that thought again, of being owned and controlled by Chris, because it was the truth, wasn’t it? He hadn’t even bothered to get either of you fully undressed, hadn’t taken you to bed, because you were just a means to a satisfying end, a warm body that accepted his rough, painful, attention.

And you loved it.

All you hear are the sounds of skin slapping skin and Chris’ grunts and moans over your own punched out whimpers, and now Chris has both his hands on your hips, gripping them hard as he pulls you back onto his dick, his blunt nails digging into your skin and leaving a delicious burn. You don’t know how long it lasts, but eventually Chris comes with a muffled cry, biting into your clothed shoulder as he fills the condom.

“Fuck,” you breath out, slumping forward against the wall, wincing when Chris pulls out, before bringing two fingers up to glide through your folds, still wet, but now also puffy and raw from the constant rubbing.

Chris guides you towards the bed, and you hold onto him because your legs won’t stop shaking. He helps you fix your clothes, pulling your bralette and top back down your torso and smoothing your skirt down your thighs. He tucks his dick back into his pants before disappearing out of the room with the used, and now tied-up, condom in hand.

You sit on the edge of the bed, dazed and out of breath still, and Chris comes back a few seconds later with a wet towel which he gently swipes between your legs, while kneeling before you, letting out a chuckle and a sheepish ‘sorry’ when you wince and jerk away from the cold and rough towel.

Chris stands back up, and goes to say something when his phone buzzes. He looks down at it, letting out a low whistle at whatever message he’d just received.

“I’ve gotta go,” Chris says, his thumbs flying over his keyboard as he types out messages.

“One of your girls?”

“Huh? Yeah,” Chris says distractedly, before tucking his phone into his pocket. “You going to be okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright, happy birthday again” Chris says, bending forward to place a quick kiss to your cheek before patting the top of your head and leaving.

You flopped back onto the bed, sighing as you push your hair out of your face, your legs rubbing together to try and warm yourself up in the now too-cold room. And it was only then that you realize that Chris had left with your underwear.

Fuck.

> you have my underwear asshole

His reply came much later that night, after you’d already gotten home, using a pair of cycling shorts you’d snagged from the closet in the room Chris had left you in and bunching them up under your skirt to make do as underwear for the rest of the night.

> Oops

author’s note: idek if i like this one y'all (: likes, comments and reblogs r much appreciated <3

taglist 🩵 (comment on my pinned post to be added or removed):

@luverboychris @bigbeefybitch @liz-stxrn @slut4chriss @slut4mattsturnio1o @sturniolosgirl @coochiedestroyer1 @cutiepiess4l @kvtie44 @vschrissturn @hercigaretteblush @fwskullz @m4rriii @anabanana28 @sturniolosange1 @webbersturn @odeezier @johnniesrealwife @freshsturns @marlenafortuna @carolineheartsmatthew @incndescentglow @starniolosposts @urfavgirllyyyyy @mattsturniolosworld @lilyloveschris @sturniozo @lookingformyromeo @heartss4matthewq @lanasturniolo @zina25sworld @ezziewinchester @s-s-842 @sturnlova @whyarefictionalmennotreal @55sturn @cheetahmadi @sturniolowhore @cupidsword @sturnsblog @lovehoneygirll @breeloveschris @littlemisswhore @worldlxvlys @sturniolo04 @sturnioloco @littlemisswhore @pandacake128 @chrizznmetswife

[dreamlandforever]

So… I have never written a Stranger Things fanfic, or even a fanfic (beyond a very vague prompt) in over seven years. But, I haven’t been able to get this idea out of my head.

Edit: I have started writing a fanfic on this premise! Part 1

Eddie, who his whole life has thought himself a coward. Who only knows to run, to hide, to lie his way out of every situation. The Munson name is not something you live up to, is something you live in spite of. Back from the dead, recovering from literal hell.

An Eddie who doesn’t know how to explain to Hellfire how or why he became friends with no other than Steve Harrington.

Eddie who hasn’t realized that what he has been doing so far wasn’t running away, it was surviving. Hide the drugs. Hide the weirdness. Hide his sexuality. Hide himself. So when one day, Garrett asks him why the hell are they holding Hellfire for the second time in a month in the Harrington residence, he doesn't think for a second before lying through his teeth.

"Look, man, I know Harrington is an asshole, but I am taking one for the team here. Do we or do we not have a big enough space for campaigns now? And the King even comes with amenities!" All sarcastic, holding the juice box Steve had laid out with the rest of the snacks.

And he meant it as he did most things, a way to hide who Eddie Munson is and protect himself. Except he knew he had fucked up big time the moment Dustin looked furious, but he wasn't looking at him; he was looking behind him. And there was only one force strong enough in this side of the world that could keep Dustin Henderson quiet.

And sure enough, as soon as Eddie turned around he could see Steve Harrington standing behind him, a tray full of nachos in his hands. He looked as calm and collected as ever, even a smile on his face. But Eddie knew that look and that face. It was his Family Video pose. It was his retail worker face. He had never looked at him like that before.

And Steve Harrington, who had learned to trust in the last three years those who he never thought he would. The Steve Harrington who had become the forever babysitter, and now felt more comfortable with a bat full of nails than with a basketball. A Steve Harrington, former swim captain, who now only got in the water if it meant saving someone else. A Steve Harrington who had worked so hard to leave The King behind and become Steve.

The same one who, once he find out Eddie Munson was one of them now, had received him like one of their own. A brother in arms, of sort. A friend, for sure.

Just smiled his customer smile, set the nachos down and said, “That comes free of charge, Munson. No need to pretend to be friends. Please lock the door on your way out.” And just turned to leave.

Steve had never joined a single session of Hellfire, but had started sitting in and listening to the stories, at the children’s insistence. Now, he turned around and left.

Both Dustin and Eddie made to stand up and go after him, but Mike’s voice stopped them. “Let him leave, he doesn’t like the game either way. Let’s just finish this”. And to Eddie’s surprise, the boy’s voice is full of venom directed solely at him.

Dustin turns to Mike and after a short silent conversation just sits back down, not turning back to Eddie.

Steve doesn’t come back. Eddie and the other teens are thrown out almost as soon as the game is over, only the Party staying behind.

….

I am not really sure what comes next. But my guess is Steve plays his part, a gracious Host who is doing Okay. No, he’s not hurt and the kids can stop worrying. And Eddie believes him. Wants to ask for forgiveness still, explain the situation. But Steve was the King of Hawkins, and not for nothing. He will play his part to perfection, while giving Eddie 0 chance to talk to him alone. They are Not Friends, and he needs to come to terms with that (Steve or Eddie or both). So yeah. Maybe I writes maybe I don’t. If someone knows of a ff similar please let me know.

If you read this far thank you. Also, I am sorry.

[spencers-renaissance]

Fic Rec Bingo!!

So instead of Fic Rec Thursday, I thought I'd do something a little different this week and recommend 25 fics based on this bingo card (although it turned into 26, oops). I kept most of these as CM because that's my blog's focus, but due to the nature of the prompts, there are 5 Marvel (Irondad) ones & 1 Sherlock towards the end!

from @lightveils on twitter, but found posted on tumblr by @cywscross <3

1. A fic with a premise that shouldn't work but does

I never would've thought I'd enjoy a fic with Spencer as a little rebellious shit because it seems so ooc, but I loved this one!

las vegas kid by trashcanbarbie - 1.9k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Gambling, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Young Spencer Reid, Teenage Rebellion, Protective Aaron hotchner, Pre-Canon, Father-Son Relationship, Teenage Spencer Reid

JJ raises her eyebrows, “so, you're trying to say counting cards isn't cheating?” “No,” he grins, boyish and charming, “it is.”

2. A fic you've reread several times

Discipline Changes by fullofcrazyness - 1.2k, 1ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Comforting Hotch

Jack stopped and looked at his dad, finally seeing that his dad wasn’t actually angry. Concerned and relieved, but not angry. He was about to say something when he saw someone in the doorway, white as a sheet. “Papa?”

3. A comfort fic

i'm always tired, but never of you by @iamrenstark - 2.2k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Derek, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Derek Morgan Needs a Hug, Men Crying, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Injury

When Spencer figured it out, he was stepping out of the elevator on the bottom floor of Quantico, and he went to tell Derek he loved him like he did every day, but he froze up, because he was afraid he wouldn't hear it back. (Or, Spencer thinks his boyfriend is falling out of love with him.)

4. A cathartic fic

Every Little Transgression by @58thacademic - 1.6k, 1ch, Gen, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Spencer Reid, Protective David Ross, Protective Derek Morgan, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Spencer's Backstory, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Episode: s03e16 Elephant's Memory

Ok so. Elephants memory was really good because we got Reid backstory. But I'm still annoyed that he didn't defend himself against Hotch. So this was born.

5. A fic you'd print and put on your bookshelf

One Call Away by GhostInTheBAU - 204k, 32ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Dubious Consent, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Domestic Violence, Rape Recovery, Referenced Past Drug Use, PTSD, Hurt Spencer Reid, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Flashbacks, Healing, Nightmares, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Eventual Smut

When Reid's boyfriend attacks him, leaving him broken and bleeding, he calls the first person he thinks of for help. He calls the only person he really wants to see. He calls Hotch.

6. A fic you associate with a song

I associate this fic with The First Thing You See by Bruno Major. I think if you listen to the song, you'll easily see why <3

You Make Waking Up Worth It by @guccifloralsuits - 2.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Fluff, Minor Angst, Established Relationship, Morning Routines, Hurt/Comfort, Good Things Happen Bingo

“Morning sweetheart,” Derek says, pausing briefly to ruffle his hand gently through Spencer’s hair. The genius nuzzles into the touch but doesn’t reply. It’s too early for conversation, Morgan knows. Pretty boy may get up earlier than he does, but it takes the younger a lot longer to really wake up.

7. A fic that inspires you

This fic could have been in so many categories because I adore it, but I wouldn't have started writing Rain is a Chance to be Touched without this fic so it definitely belongs here.

Forgive Me For All I Could Not Become by @degrassi-fanatic - 105k, 20ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Angst, Case Fic, Confessions, Complicated Relationships, Near Death Experiences, Friends With Benefits, Smut, Miscommunication

In which Reid has always been good at hiding things. He hid his father's departure and his mother's illness from social services. He hid his addiction from his team. He hid his sexuality from the world. He hid his inappropriate feelings from his boss. That is until he's bleeding out in Hotch's arms, in an abandoned church, in Oklahoma. From there on out, Hotch and Reid learn to make a complete mess out of each other.

8. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

Even though it's unrequited, this was the first fic that really had me going !!! at Penemily <3

Another Wide-Eyed Girl by mallfacee - 2k, 1ch, Gen/Derek Morgan & Penelope Garcia, Penelope Garcia/Emily Prentiss (Unrequited), Coming Out, Internalised Homophobia, Derek Morgan is a Good Friend, Friendship, Gunshot Wounds, Episode: s03e08 Lucky

Derek Morgan is handsome and calls her “baby girl” and smiles at her like she’s the only girl in the room. Penelope Garcia knows she should be swooning and all she can think is that there must be something wrong with her not to react to a man like that giving her all this attention. Two years later she meets Emily Prentiss and understands.

9. A fic you wish could be a movie

Listen, I adore the soulmate trope, and an angsty moreid soulmate movie? Fucking sign me up right now

i need you now but i don't know you yet by @iamrenstark - 3.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt Derek Morgan, Mutual Pining, Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Buford Mention, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Season 5

It goes like this; Spencer hasn't spoken to his soulmate since he was ten, didn't know their gender or their name or a single thing about them. Spencer's soulmate doesn't want him, and that's okay.

10. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

I'm doing two because fuck you that's why

This was one of the first fics I read of Adam's and I immediately fell in love with his writing! And I'm pretty sure that we ended up becoming friends after I rec'd it!!

Plum Sauce by @goldencatchflies - 1.5k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Jealousy, Platonic Morcia, Episode: s07e13 Snake Eyes

Garcia tells Spencer about what she thinks happened between her and Derek. He doesn’t seem too happy about it...

I read this from Syd and absolutely loved it, and like with Adam, we became friends from there! (I mean technically husband and wife, but, y'know. Semantics.)

You Belong With Me by @spencerspecifics - 11.4k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Song Fic, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Fluff

A fluffy Moreid fic based on You Belong With Me by: Taylor Swift

11. A fic you associate with a place

This reminds me of a chilled Sunday afternoon on my old sofa in my living room, with the fire on in the background. I read it all in one sitting and loved every word <3

Metanoia by @makaylajadewrites - 39k, 16ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Canon Typical Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Established Relationship, Near Death Experiences, Frostbite, Rape Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Spencer Reid, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending

Oh, Derek… He couldn’t stand the thought of him bursting in with SWAT in tow, gun at the ready, only to descend those creaky stairs and find his naked, bleeding body, vacated of life, crumbled on a red-stained mattress. The realization that he was going to die at the end of this was catching up to him, but maybe it would be better that way.

In which an unfortunate resemblance to an unsub's victims puts Reid right on his radar.

12. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Gasp out loud might be a *bit* of an overreaction, but this one took me on a rollercoaster and I loved every second of it (all of bau-gremlin's fics will do that to you tbh)

The End by @bau-gremlin - 3.1k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Graphic Violence, Stabbing, Blood and Injury, Temporary Character Death, Hurt Spencer Reid, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Spencer Reid

The famous interview with Chester Hardwick ... except Hotch and Reid get separated and Reid is left alone with Hardwick and a prison-made shiv.

13. A fic you found at the right time

You're Going to be Okay by fullofcrazyness - 2.6k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Dark, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Sad Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Depression, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending

Spencer was no stranger to depression. His father leaving him, his mother’s episodes, being twelve years old in a Las Vegas high school. All of those things made him very familiar with the illness. “I… I think I need some help.”

14. A fic that you would read a fic of

Chain Reaction by EloquentDossier - 42k, 16ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Alternate Universe, Texting, Dialogue-Only, Text Fic, Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Angst, Implied/Referenced Past Drug Use, Canon Divergence, Pining, Oblivious Aaron Hotchner, Happy Ending

A dialogue-only AU in which Hotch texts what he thinks is Rossi's new number but is actually the slightly eccentric stranger whom Hotch knows only as "Spencer." What follows is something neither man could have ever quite expected.

15. A fic that made you laugh out loud

The Bet by @degrassi-fanatic - 1.6k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Bets & Wagers, Humour, Fluff, Canon Divergence

“Fifty bucks says Hotch writes you up and sends you to sexual harassment sensitivity training.” she declares as she stares him down. Without looking away from her, Reid takes out his own wallet and flips it open to pull out a fifty dollar before placing it down right next to Prentiss’s own money. “Fifty bucks says Hotch will go out with me.”

16. A fic that gave you butterflies

The healing and dynamics in this one is just.... off the charts :')

Who Spencer Reid Loves by @blueberriesandbubbles - 36k, 11ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, Abuse, Hurt Spencer Reid, Mutual Pining, Rape Recovery, Healing, Fluff

Derek Morgan has been in love with the resident genius as long as he's known him. When Spencer enters a relationship with a mystery man, Derek is unhappy. He is even more unhappy when he meets this man. Spencer starts acting different and Derek knows something is wrong and he has a feeling its connected to the man Reid is dating.

17. A fic that embodies something you value in life

The utter and total love and devotion in this fic just punches me right in the gut every time I reread it

A Little Fall of Rain by jack_hunter - 4.3k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Spencer Reid Whump, Autistic Spencer Reid, Major Character Injury, Secret Relationship, Team as Family, Dad Rossi

Morgan crept up behind the doctor and snatched the headphones off of his head, earning a yelp of a protest as he slipped them over his own ears. “Les Mis?” Morgan asked with a quizzical look, “didn’t peg you as the musical type, Pretty Boy.” Spencer snatched the headphones back. “I’ve always loved the theatre and I went to see Les Misérables with-... a friend last Friday.”

18. A favourite AU

The Curious Case of Dr. Reid by severaance - 37k, 10ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Transgender Character, Fluff, Trans Spencer Reid, Light Angst, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Smut, Insecurity, Happy Ending (Warning for Homophobic & Transphobic Slurs)

"And your names for the order, please?" The barista asked, eyes flickering expectantly between the two before her. "Spencer," she answered, although she was not talking to the barista. "I'm Spencer." The man before her had the same idea. "Derek."

19. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading

I stayed up one night and read pretty much all the marvel fics this author has written, but this was the last one that I simply could not resist. The next day wasn't pretty :/

The more you say, the less I know by forthenightisdarkandfullofterror - 13.9k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Amnesia, Protective Pepper Potts, Not Endgame Compliant, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Blood and Violence, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump

Tony wakes up from snapping with amnesia and for the life of him can't remember the kid hanging around, claiming to be 'just an intern'. Feelings get hurt.

20. A fic that made you feel seen

heavy in my bones by hopeless_hope - 4.4k, 1ch, Gen/Irondad, Chronic Pain, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump, Father-Son Relationship, Dad Tony, Worried Tony Stark, Angst, Chronic Illness, 5+1 Things

Five times Peter lied to someone about his chronic pain, and one time he told the truth and got the help he needed.

21. A fic you love without knowing the source material

(I mean this is literally all marvel fics but I'll rec this one because I loved it so much)

the locker room by searchingforstars - 15.5k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Arguing, Miscommunication, Crying, Whump, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rape Recovery

Peter's falling apart and he doesn't know how things will ever go back to normal again after Ryder.

22. A fic you've gushed about IRL

Genuinely, this fic is better than most published fiction I've read...

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle - 220k, 37ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse, Alternate Universe, Hurt Peter Parker, Foster Care, Identity Reveal, Slow Build, Disordered Eating, Homelessness

Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves. Simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on. And that’s when things get complicated.

23. A fic you still remember many years later

The Transport Series by ancientreader - 135k, 2 works, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Backstory, Canon Drug Use, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Physical Disability, AU, Important Character Death, First Time, Developing Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Humour, Fluff

How to become a consulting detective. // Jim's lessons are hard to unlearn.

24. A fic with a line or two that you've memorised by heart

"He has held up buildings and nuclear bombs and whole entire countries on his back. Peter’s body is the heaviest thing he’s ever held."

when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by @madasthesea - 4.4k, 2ch, Gen/Irondad, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt Peter Parker, Crying, Forehead Kisses, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Hugs, Platonic Cuddling

But he knows. He knows. He can feel it. Peter’s dead. Peter Parker watches as Tony carefully arranges his limbs on a cot. “Mr. Stark,” he tries for the dozenth time. No one hears him.

25. Free Space

And to round it off, we have to celebrate the fic that really and truly welcomed me into the CM fanfic world...

Chanel by @4x24 - 24k, 7ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Getting Together, Spencer Wears Makeup, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Typical VIolence, Humour, Fluffy Ending, Pining, Smut Heavy

Penelope mentions offhandedly one night that she thinks Spencer might look good in makeup. Spencer takes the suggestion to heart. Derek likes the new look - and Spencer - more than he probably should. (Season 4)

[sweetchup]

💌With You💌

Type: Kirari Momobami x reader (Ft. ????)

Prompt: 7– Innocent/Corruption Kink + Surprise

Author Note: Wow 😳. I honestly don’t know what I’ve just written but at least it’s ✨Delicous✨. (Also, I don’t think I need to say this, but just in case, Reader is Bi in this)

(Valentine’s Day Masterlist) 

It felt as if your breath had been ripped away from you.

Shocks and jolts of hot pleasure suddenly streamed through every nerve in your body. It felt euphoric, like as if you were on cloud 9 and had no worries in the whole world. The pleasure was like a drug, addicting; Making you practically go delusionsional from it all. Totally unaware of the very movements your own body was making at the moment.

It crashed in waves. So much so, You didn't think it was even possible for it to be stopped.

That was until it did. And, your breath suddenly came back to you. Making you hyper aware of everything happening around you.

From the slightly sore, yet addicting, pleasure located between your legs to Kirari’s subtle smile on her ever blue lips. To you, coming down from a high was almost as good as the pleasure itself. Especially when you saw that satisfied look on your wife’s face.

Exhausted yet happy, you give a tired smile up to her. One she quite enjoyed to be on your face. Though, yet again, she loves every expression you make.

“Hey…” You sighed out, unable to hold back a small giggle that rose up past your lips. You couldn’t fathom how exhausted your voice sounded. It was almost as if you had just sung through a whole chorus concert.

“Did I really tire you out that much, my love?” Kirari questions, unable to hold back as she places a couple of kisses on your face. Her hair, undone from her usual braided look, tickled slightly at the skin of your face and neck.

“Of course, Kirari. I mean… what was that? The third or fourth time tonight?” You tell her, still trying to rack your brain to remember the exact number. However, instead of confirming or denying what you said, Kirari's face held a small smile. One you clearly knew, especially from back in your high school years, spelled trouble, “However, I doubt that’s not the last time tonight…right?”

Kirari lets out a small giggle before getting up from the bed to grab something, “You know me so well, My Love.”

It doesn’t take Kirari a long time to find what she was looking for. She must have already been planning for this to happen ahead of time.

“A blindfold?” You question as Kirari comes behind you to tie it on. You feel her pause for a second before suddenly giving you a loving kiss on the lips. As she pulls aways, she stares at you; Admiring the features of your face. You looked so innocent and fragile under the moonlight streaming into the room.

“Take a gamble with me, (y/n)?” Kirari asks lovingly. The same words she had asked you when you two first met.

“Of course.” You replied instantly, no hesitation or distrust wavering in your voice.

At first, you will admit you didn’t understand the premise of the blindfold. With your sense of sight blinded, you couldn’t see what was going around you or see Kirari. It just didn’t make sense because you knew Kirari loved it when you kept your attention trained on her.

Well, that was until you felt the bed dip slightly, making a creaking sound.

Someone else was in the room.

“K-Kirar—“ Kirari cuts you off with a light hush, her fingers lightly combing through your hair to calm you down.

However, Kirari’s words did little to calm you down. You knew your wife liked to take risks and gambles, especially when it came to you, but this? Having someone (possibly a stranger) that you couldn’t see at the moment in your bedroom while the two of you are naked? Your wife must have gone insane.

You flinch slightly as two cold hands suddenly touch your thighs. You sit there stunned for a couple of moments, unsure of what to do or if to say anything, before you hear your wife whisper in your ear.

“Go ahead. Why don’t you grab one of them?”

Very hesitantly, as you are still kind of skeptical, you reach down to take one of the person’s hands in yours. It wasn’t calloused or rough in any way, actually quite soft, but you could tell that just by the fact the hand was generally larger than yours that they were probably from a male.

“H-hey. Kirari!” You shout out, shocked as you suddenly feel your wife's hands touch the lips of your pussy, pushing them apart. “W-what are you doing?”

Kirari hushes you again.

“It’s okay, my love. Don’t you want to have fun? Experience something you have never done before?”

“W-well… yeah. But….”

“Don’t worry so much,” Kirari whispers out, placing a reassuring kiss on your temple. “I’ll enjoy it as well. I want to see you ravish by someone else.”

“Y-you do?” You questioned out. Confused because Kirari has never mentioned that fantasy before and she usually tells you everything that she wants.

“Of course, just think about it…” Kirari voice trails off as she shifts behind you and you can’t help yourself from letting out a soft gasp once you realize what she is doing.

“Feels good?” Kirari giggles out, her hand rubbing the person’s dick against your folds, “Imagine it. I’m sitting behind you, watching you get ravaged by a man in a way I couldn’t possibly dream of achieving. After all I don’t have one of these. It’s risky…, adrenaline rushing, in a way.”

“I-I get that…” You mumble out, your face now starting to feel extremely hot from how flustered you were.

“Good… Then, let’s just cut to the main course. I’m—.” Kirari is cut off as you let out a small yelp. She can’t help but let out a small moan as she watches you take his length inch by inch. It looked like you were still struggling to accommodate his size even though she made sure to stretch you out a lot with her fingers for your first time. “Couldn’t wait any longer? You're usually not like this.”

“True. But you were taking too long and I know you can go on for hours just because you like to listen to yourself.” The male murmurs out, his voice slightly stuttering from how tightly you were squeezing around him. That voice… it was oddly familiar but from where?

You wanted to rack your brain to figure it out but found yourself unable to. Your jaw falls open in a silent gasp as the male pulls his length out, all the way out until the tip, only to slam it all the way back in. Oh god, it felt so good. You were practically melting on the spot.

“Fuck…” He murmurs out, throwing your legs over his shoulders to get a better position. Making you let out a small whine from how it only made him get deeper inside you.

“Gorgeous…” Kirari murmurs out as she stares down at your face. She had shifted her position so your head now layed down on her lap. And from there, she could really appreciate you in a way she couldn’t have before.

Kirari slowly stops rubbing your clit and brings her hand up in front of her face. As she pulls her fingers apart, she watches as your glistening arousal leaks and strings off them before putting them in her mouth. Unable to stop herself from letting out a small moan as she attempts to suck every drop up. God, you tasted amazing like you always did.

Pulling each finger out of her mouth with a loud pop, she puts her fingers back at your pussy before deciding to travel further up to take in the rest of your body.

Traveling higher up to your chest, Kirari gives your breasts a couple of squeezes, watching your expression change in surprise and pleasure, before soon letting them go. Her eyes train to them as they jostle up and down with each thrust. Perfect.

Finally, Kirari slowly brings her hand up to your face. Your hair, slightly wet from sweat and sticking to your body. Your lips, lightly red and puffy as you tried to silence the never ending trail of moans.

However, Kirari soon found herself tutting in disapproval. She thought it was a good plan at first, making you wear a blindfold, but now found herself wanting to take it off.

Quickly reaching out, she untied the silk fabric and threw it somewhere in the room.

There you go. Now, it’s perfect.

Kirari can’t help but let out a small moan as she sees your eyes staring up at her. Those wonderful looking eyes that were filled with love and pure innocence. Even though you were getting your organ practically rearranged at the moment.

“K-Kirari…” You mumble out, your head falling further backwards into her lap. “I-I’m… I’m about to…”

“Go ahead, my love.” Kirari coos at you as she cups your face. “Come for me.”

Kirari’s vibrant blue eyes stare down at you as you slowly lose yourself. Watching your body wiggles and jolts in agonizing pleasure. How your lips can’t help but spill out all your thoughts at that moment. And finally, the cherry on top, how your hand grabs onto her for dear life. As if you were about to lose yourself and melt into nothingness.

Kirari honestly couldn’t dream of it getting any better. After all, her favorite part of sex is watching you orgasm. But then it did.

“Oh god—“ “Fuck.”

Kirari feels her breath hitch as she switches her attention from your face to your pussy. Watching as ever so slowly white beads of cum spill out of you and onto the sheets.

“My love… Does it feel warm and go— Oh…, how silly.” Kirari mumbles to herself, unable to hold back a giggle as she looks back to your face to see you were totally passed out. The pleasure must have been too much for you. “I guess I prepped you too much before. Oh well.”

“Hmm? I was hoping to see her reaction to seeing it was me.” The male chimes in as he pulls his length out of you. Causing even more cum to spill out of your hole. “Oops, can’t have that.”

The male nonchalantly scoops up some of his cum and pushes it back into you, slightly chuckling as you unintentionally shiver in your sleep.

“Hmm. You really are trying your hardest. Aren’t you, Rin?” Kirari mumbles out, watching as the black haired male finishes pushing all of his cum in before slipping your underwear back on. Securing that it will mostly stay put.  

“Of course. I’m here on business after all, not because I want to be” Rin says with a fake smile as he gets up from the bed to put on his clothes. “Also, do me a favor and put a robe on at the very least. It’s quite unsightly for me to see you naked.”

Kirari lets out a small laugh, amused with Rin’s confidence, as she leans against the headboard of her bed, “I think I’ll pass on that. It’s my bedroom after all.”

“True. True.” Rin states as he finishes fixing his tie in the mirror. He chooses not to address Kirari any further and instead walks up to you. He looks down at your sleeping face for a second before placing a small kiss on your forehead.

“Be a good girl like you always are (y/n) and keep every drop of my sperm in you.” Rin murmurs against your skin before pulling away and walking out of the room. Not even bothering to look or say goodbye to Kirari.

For a while, Kirari sits there in silence with her eyes closed. Just taking in the sounds of the chirping of cicadas and you softly breathing.

However, once she opened her eyes, she was anything but calm. She was excited and for the first time in a long while.

She was glad she took this gamble with the branch families. Especially since the odds were stacked against her.

“Ok. So the deal is if (y/n) is able to get pregnant by one of the branch members. That family will become the new head when the heir comes to power. Correct?”

Kirari feels herself shiver as she recalls her conversation with Terano. How she and the other families wanted to deny the request out of pure respect for you but soon found themselves accepting as they knew they couldn’t afford to pass up such a big offer.

And, then the events that happened afterwards. Those were just delicious…

Of course, she just couldn’t let them all get a piece of you. You were her wife after all. So, she made them gamble for a final winner. And she loved every moment of it. Especially since 4 families ended up risking it all only to get devour in the end.

Kirari lets out a small sigh as she lightly slips her legs out from underneath your head, placing it softly on a pillow nearby. As she carefully crawls her way further down the bed, she can’t help but feel herself get more aroused.

“Ah… This is so great.” Kirari mumbles out as she lays on her chest, slowly pulling your underwear off. “Rin just pumped so much into you... It’s really likely you will get pregnant….”

Shifting forward more, Kirari pushes her face in between your legs. Once she was close enough to be face to face with your folds, she stuck her tongue out flat and began licking up the cum in you. Shivering as your usual sweet taste was altered by Rin’s salty sperm.

Ah, what a bad situation she was in. She couldn’t wait for you to wake up to take a shower as some of the sperm would have already travelled to your womb by then. Meaning the only option right now to get all the cum out of you was either for her to physically and manually suck or push it out. And even that couldn’t work as she could end up accidently pushing his sperm further into you.

Kirari feels herself moan at her own thoughts. Slowly, slipping one of her hands down to play with herself. Hoping to release some of that built up tension from all that excitement she was feeling.

Especially, when she knew nothing got her more riled up than gambling with you.

[lacheri]

Your knees heaved you up once more, and you moved to straddle the raven haired man’s lap. You felt the hump of his erection between your thighs, and you bit back a moan at the sensation. Levi was in a similar frame of mind, trying not to let his bodily instincts and desires take over entirely. You rolled your hips, teasing his clothed length, and his grasp on control was nearly lost. Your naked breasts pressed against his chest, nipples hardened from your excitement. By no means were you the kind of girl to sleep with your clients or even entertain the thought, but when Levi’s lids fluttered and he bit the inside of his lip, you were rethinking every morally right ideal you held within yourself.

On par with the beat of the song, you leaned back, hands on his knees, and thrust your hips lazily in rhythm. Levi watched your ribcage expand and disappear under your naked torso, your navel shrinking and opening at the rolling motion. You flicked your hair behind your shoulder blades, your lips parted, and you let out a shaky breath. You were flushed against his hardened member, you could feel your center weeping at the contact. This was not your intention, to rub yourself all over this stranger, but the way his hands twitched and his eyes were so hungry had you feeling things you only indulged in by yourself, in the comfort of your bed and with your favorite pink vibrator.

“Make it fifteen hundred, and I’ll let you take me back to your place,” you mewled against your better judgement.

This is without a doubt one of the sexiest things I’ve read in a fic (and it was my first fic of yours too!!) and I love that you did both POVs so we could see how much they both wanted each other, but I want to know like. Everything. The thought process. The build up. (And honestly if you want to include how the whole premise for this fic came to be I wouldn’t complain 😜)

OOOUUU YES STREETS, my baby <3

so in case no one knows, streets is based off of the Doja Cat song and I was listening to it one day going “huh, this would be a cool fic idea” and then wrote this fic in like two days lol. this was the third fic I think I posted to this account, so I was highly motivated to put out content at light speed (oh how I miss these times, I think I wrote 20,000+ words in a month at the beginning of all this so I had some content on this account. me now could NOT)

streets is also based off a previous fic I had written YEARS ago with a different character, a real life guy named Matty Healy from the 1975. had an OC and everything named Dahlia, she sold drugs and stripped and I adored her <3 it was multi chaptered and I gave up on the story just as quickly as I wrote it because I was like, 17/18? at the time and I just wasn’t ready or prepared to write something like that with my lack of knowledge on the subject

then I became educated on sex work through real life people I know, learned what an actual stripper does and how they would operate, and decided hey let’s try this again! I had just written and posted follow me, another sex work fic featuring Eren, and I wasn’t done with writing that realm. I’m still not. I love writing and playing around with “taboo” subjects and giving them humanity through perspective. besides, support sex work/sex workers. fuck p hub. get your p locally sourced (lol like a farmer’s market except it’s onlyf*ns and self produced p)

I wish I could rewrite this fic now though. I think I’d give more insight to reader’s day to day life, and Levi too. maybe one day I will, I really loved the premise of this fic, I still do! in hindsight I think this would’ve been a really cool two/three part series, had I broken up the scenes. but this fic came about before I learned and practiced the art of outlining, so this was straight fingers to doc with NO editing. I was really out here rawing the dash in April, I wish I was sorry

idk I think there’s a few fics I wrote in the beginning of my lil tumblr journey that really stuck with me, and helped me find my place as a writer. this fic was one of them. it helped me develop a narrative in smut writing, and to understand my understanding (lol) of Levi’s character a bit better. I probably would not write the smut the same now as I did then, having a better grasp on how I like to portray Levi. either way, I love this man, and I love this fic (as flawed as I personally think it is but we’re always our own worst critics aren’t we?)

ty Astrid for indulging me, ily thanks for this <3

[redhawtriot]

IM DYING for some domestic things, can I please have small request about it? What if Bakugo, Kirishima, Shigaraki and Dabi (seperated, obviously) coming home and bringing one cutie plusiu for their unborn child? Sorry for wxtra fluff I just need more cute things in our lifes 😭 YOU R AWESOME HAPPY ONE MONTH LUV YA

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

I had to do this one right away! Sorry if some of these are very narrow-minded views on expecting children! I know surrogacy and adoption are also options! Let me know in the comments if those are things you guys would like to see as well!

But I got too excited when I saw this! lol The mucus filled disaster where my heart is supposed to be jumped for joy when I read this prompt!

HnM💕

💖Dabi:

When you first met Dabi, one of your very first presumptions about the man was that he should never have offspring. 

That’s not to say that you were not immediately drawn to his physical looks and demeanor, rather you just couldn’t picture such a stoic man ever having the visceral capacity in his cold heart to care much about anyone besides himself. 

It wouldn’t be until much later than your initial meeting where these feelings would be fully swayed– passed when you got to know him better and saw his standoffish mask fade away, revealing a loyal, surprisingly warm man– passed becoming romantically involved with him and finding him putting aside his own slight needs at times to fulfill yours– passed even your first pregnancy together. 

It was the day of your child’s birth that you knew just how much of a kind-hearted creature your partner could be. 

You already knew that he wouldn’t be able to attend the birth. He was a known “terrorist” after all. The sight of him in a hospital would only end in havoc.

Those people— always quick to label anyone who won’t conform under their oppression with such othering terms.

You gave a quick glance to your sleeping daughter, immediately feeling a heaviness in your heart. The picture just wasn’t complete without Dabi.

Yes, it hurt to be alone but you reminded yourself that you would soon return from the hospital to reunite your little untypical family.

But for the moment, you could only sleep and let your body heal from child birth.

A familiar sound suddenly chipped away at your peaceful unconscious, “You are so beautiful. Just like your mom, huh?”

Was that Dabi?

You tried to pry your heavy eye lids open and call out to him but only a slight tired groan came out.

“Go back to sleep, Y/N,” you felt a warm hand rub your cheek, “You did a good job. Rest up,” you tried to fight against your sleepiness but the soothing nature of his touch eventually dragged you back to sleep.

“You are perfect. I… I didn’t know I could feel so much for one person. God, I am going to spend every moment of my life protecting you until the day I die, baby girl.”

“Dabi!!” You gasped. You finally snapped your body up, and ignored the searing pain in your lower abdomen and you crazily searched the room for the father of your child.

Your heart sagged at his absence.

However on the visitors chair next to your daughters plastic crib was a large array of pink stuff animals and hearts.

You dragged yourself off of the bed and scuttled to the display of rosy penguins and pigs and bears and saw a card with a lone pink balloon on the front.

Curiously, you slowly opened the card,

I hope this doesn’t gross you out, me being all soft and everything, but as soon as I saw her I wanted to give her absolutely everything. My baby girl is the most precious thing I have ever seen.

I’m so proud of you. You did a good job, babe. Heal up and come home soon, kay?

I can’t wait to hold my girls again.  

🐊Kirishima:

He was beyond happy to become the father to your children. Words wouldn’t even be able to begin to describe the pure and overwhelming feelings of joy that he felt as he bounced out of the doors of the drug store near your house.

He glanced down to a torn piece of a magazine the two of you had lying around the house, checking the small list he made one more time before he left the stores premises: 

Vitamin B6

 A plush crocodile

flowers 

Left Twix

pregnancy test

Yep! All accounted for! He had practically no trouble at all finding most things on the list, but the plush crocodile was a bit harder than he expected.

He had asked an associate about the plush toy in hopes of finding it, but they only had alligators.

“But this is a stuffed alligator. See?” As Kirishima pointed to the stuffed animals face, the associate only became confused, so Kiri explained further, “The nose shape is all wrong. It has to be a crocodile? Are you sure this all you have?”

It was indeed all they had. Kirishima let out a small sigh, but honestly not even the drug store’s reptile discrimination could bring his day down!

“My wife is pregnant!” He exclaimed with an extremely proud smile to a couple he passsed as he made his way into his car. One of the strangers immediately cheered him on with a loud “whoop whoop!” before his boyfriend smacked him on the shoulder for the wild display.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t believe how long it was taking your husband to return home from the store. You bounced your leg uncomfortably as you waited on your living room couch.

He was only supposed to be picking up one thing! The longer you sat and waited for him to return, the more your nerves stacked upon each other.

You’re heart flipped in your chest as your front door suddenly opened. You quickly stood from the couch, “You got it?”

He hurried up to you, “Yep! Here, go take the test!” He pressed a kiss on your cheek and frantically handed you an already opened pregnancy test like a baton in a race.

You raised an eyebrow to him, before pausing as you caught a glance at the flowers in his other hand. You shook your head in disbelief, “Eiji look, I told you not to get too excited,” you pointed an accusing finger as you walked away toward to bathroom, “The test we took was old. It might have been a fake positive,” you hollered from the bathroom after shutting the door.

He followed you to the bathroom, but remained fidgety on the other side, “Well I know for a fact that it wasn’t a fake positive,” he replied with a slightly smug tone as he tried to mask his own nervousness.

“Oh yeah?” You laughed at his smugness, “Well… would that be such a bad thing?” You tried to sound lighthearted as you stared at the stick in front of you and waited for the second line to appear.

The two of you hadn’t really been planning for a child. You hadn’t ever really even talked about having children much, so when you missed your period last week and became sick this morning, this response from Kirishima was very unexpected.

He was way happier than you would have thought he would be. Just when you thought your beam of light couldn’t get any happier….

God, you didn’t want to let him down.

Suddenly Kirishima heard you scream on the other side of the door.

The man immediately burst through the door accidentally busting a portion of the frame, “Oh man, S-sorry. But WHAT IS IT!?”

“Happy face!” A smile split your face as you threw yourself at him for a hug.

“T-that means pregnant!?” He frantically stuttered, frozen in place.

“That means pregnant!” You hopped up and down.

He wasted no time at all as you scooped you up into his arms. The both of you laughed in unbelievable glee as he carried you to the living room and sat you down on the couch. He swiftly handed you the flowers, “Here you go, baby mama.” You laughed at his phrasing as he reach somewhere behind him to grab his drug store plastic bag.

“And these,” he smiled up at you, “for your stomach.”

Chocolate and…. B6?? What even is that? You threw him a confused glance, so he immediately explained.

“I was talking to a lady by the pharmacy about your morning sickness,” no wonder he took so long, you laughed at his diligence as he continued, “She said B6 can help. So the vitamins will do good for your stomach, and the chocolate will taste good for your stomach.”

Your face almost hurt from how hard your were smiling, “God, you really went all out! You really are hard headed you know that?”

“Only the best for my girls,” he argued as he pulled the stuffed alligator from behind his back.

“Oh my goodness!!” You explained with a laugh, the two of you always got each other crocodile things. The first thing you ever said to him in high school was a mocking joke about his choice in footwear—crocs. You laughed, “You think its a little girl, huh? Well, I think it’s a hard headed little boy just like his dad.”

“I guess we’ll see,” he said as he pecked you on the lips.

“I guess we will.” You smiled back at him.

🐻Shigaraki:

The two of you weren’t exactly on the greatest of terms. What was meant to be a drunken fling ended up turning into, in your opinion, a long, drawn out train-wreck of a relationship– if you could even call it that. 

You swear that that man has the mentality of a child, and it seemed like every time he would take a step toward the grand goal of maturity, something would come by and knock him two steps back again. 

So it was obviously not a shock to you that the overgrown baby was no where near prepared to raise a baby of his own. You almost expected him to storm off sooner than he did when you told him you were pregnant.

But he just stared at you.

“What? Would you stop staring at me like I’m some alien now?” you had thrown your hands on your hips as if to undermine any overwhelming feelings he had, “You did this to me!!” you had foolishly screamed at him, causing him paused in shock before storming away as you feared he would.

How could you say that to him? Then again, you knew you had your faults as well. After all you were the one who hid the pregnancy until you had begun to show. 

It was just too much for you to bare– the thought of being left alone to raise a snotty little thing, the thought of him staying and you being forced into a failing relationship, the thought of what kind of fucked up hero society you would raise the thing in. All of these thoughts festering in your mind over the past few months boiled into a harden crust and weighed down upon your mind. 

“Shit…” you sighed under your breath, finally releasing the flood of emotions that you had been holding back for all of these months in a wave of tears.

“Y/N,” Shigaraki’s voice suddenly snapped you out of your despairing trance, “Here,” he harshly shoved a soft object into your face much like a student would an unseemly note to his classmate. 

You looked down at the object and was completely surprised by what you saw, “A bear…?” you gawked at the plush object. He hadn’t ever bought you any gifts before.

“I wasn’t planning on staying with you,” he said very simply, his words sending a sharp pain through your heart.

Your still teary eyes blinked a few times as you tried to hold back your inevitable crying, “O-okay? I-“ he suddenly cut you off,

“I’m not as stupid as you might think. I can see that you are unhappy with me, so I was gonna just drop this… us,” he trailed off as if he were carefully preparing his next set of words, so you sat in silence and waited for them,

He finally spoke, “but knowing that we are expecting a child makes me really happy. Because it’s with you. I will… try to make you happier.”

You immediately wrapped your arms around him and held him closer to you than you ever had before, as if you were finally becoming one with him. You honestly didn’t know if the two of you would work out, but hearing those words come from him would make all of the difference in the possibility.

💥Bakugou:

“GOD DAMMIT! THE BRAT’S ON FIRE AGAIN, Y/N!!” You heard your husband screech from the other side of the house.

“WHAT?! ALREADY!?” You gave a groan in annoyance as you walked down the hall. You could already see light from the flames your son was probably swallowed up in in your living room. You shook your head in exasperation.

As soon as Bakugou spotted you coming, he threw you and expectant look, causing you to throw you hands on your hips as you chastised him, “Well, don’t just stand there looking at me! Grab the extinguisher!”

He immediately became defensive, “What do you think I am trying to do, you idiot! I can’t find it!” He roared back over your sons terrified screams.

“What do you mean you can’t find it?! We have one in every room now!” You screamed back as you picked up your son and hugged him close. The boy dropped something from his hand as you did so.

It was a blessing that you had just come back from work and had your fireproof hero costume on. You already had a full store of clothes that your young toddler had burned through. You patted him on his flaming back in a feeble attempt to soothe him. He continued wailing still.

Your poor baby! You knew he had your fire proof cells, but he was still terrified.

“Babe! Where’s that damn extinguisher!?” You called out.

“You must have moved it earlier this morning when he scorched your shirt!” He accused angrily.

“Oh crap. Well, grab the one from the kitchen, or playroom! And that was more than a scorch and you know it! My favorite blouse looked like a teenage bonfire,” You tried to defend yourself.

“Put me out mommy! Put me out!” Your son sobbed, clinging tightly to your chest as the flames raged around him, “we need ‘wata’!” Your heart broke a little at his hiccups and gasps,

“We can’t use water, baby,” your fire breathing quirk along side Bakugou’s oily nitroglycerin sweat resulted in a pretty terrifying combination for a small child who had a habit of setting himself on fire. The oily fire would only surge if you used water to extinguish it. That’s why you had special extinguishers made just for these occasions, “if DADDY FINDS AN EXTINGUISHER you’ll be okay! Remember? It doesn’t hurt.”

Bakugou suddenly burst back into the room, “I FOUND IT!” He screeched like a battle cry as you held your son an arms length away. Much like you often practiced, Bakugou flipped the nozzle of the red container and released the foamy continents as they sprayed all over your son.

You quickly calmed him down and cleaned him off as Bakugou ran to grab him some more clothes. The two of you worked like a well oiled machine as you swiftly dressed him and consoled him out of his sobs.

Your son eventually cried himself into a nap, meaning you’d have at least 2 hours to prepare for the next inevitable incident. You sighed as you slumped down onto the couch next to an already sprawled Bakugou, “What are we gonna do with this boy,” you shook your head.

“Train him how to use his damn quirk,” he huffed.

You sat up defensively, “We do!”

“Yeah, a few minutes a day,” he spat back.

“He’s a toddler, Katsuki, Jesus!” your face upturned.

“Tell him that! He’s the one spontaneously combusting!” he loudly argued, “Besides, he’ll be four in like a month.” 

It was a rare occurrence that he obtained his quirk so early. The two of you hadn’t expected it for years. 

But doctors theorized that quirks would soon come earlier in age as their power grew— your son might just be among the first of a new era. Different things like diet, stress, activity could all also trigger the quirks to come sooner.

“Well the doctors said his outbursts could be stress related!” Your face shriveled. You weren’t so ignorant to think that yours and Katsuki’s interactions weren’t stressful for a small child. It’s not that you guys weren’t happy together. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Loud and passionate was just the dynamic that the two of you shared, but your son was gentle and nervous somehow. Much like your brother. You shook your head as guilt ate away at your heart, “God, only three years in and we are messing him up already.”

“He’s not fucking messed up!” Your husband argued “He’s perfect!” He announced proudly. This sent a wave of happiness into your heart.

You never really expected Bakugou to be the doting father type, but he had pleasantly surprised you the past few years at how passionate he was about raising your son. Of course there were times where you would question his harsher parenting methods, but all in all, he was a very good, supportive, present father.

You looked up at him proudly, “Yeah,” you agreed with a soft smile.

“Plus, I fixed our plush toy issue,” your husband huffed, “that probably why he was easier to calm the hell down than usual.”

“Our… what?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You really didn’t notice? Are you fucking serious?” He sounded almost hurt, “You said he get’s even more worked up when he’s upset about melting or destroying his toys during his tantrums. So I fixed that problem,” he pointed to the scorched carpet in front of you and that’s when you noticed a small, unscathed plush doll.

Your heart melted. It was a little cute Ground Zero doll! “Oh! Wow! How long has he had that?!” You excitedly exclaimed as you bent down to pick up the fluffy Bakugou.

“I just had the agency brand them yesterday. It’s a fireproof prototype,” he gruffly explained nonchalantly. You immediately leaned over to him to give your thoughtfulness sweetheart of a man a kiss but he harshly threw his face away from you so you only caught his cheek.

All these years, and he still hated affection, “Whatever,” you huffed,  “I have a new man anyway,” you teased, causing him to angrily whip his head back towards you, only to see you placing a kiss on the small plushie.

“YOU ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD, YOU KNOW THAT!?!”

Suddenly you heard an explosion coming from your sons room, followed by familiar terrified wails, “MOMMYYY! PUT. ME. OUUUUUUT!”

Both you and Bakugou sighed before you angrily punched him on the arm for his loud mouth.

[mcustorm]

45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal. 

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* -  Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy. 

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations! 

[taronfanfic]

The Rebound

A/N: Hello new (but also old) terriroty. I know this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea so I’ve approached with caution. There’s always scope for more in every single sense so if you do like it, let me know. 

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Taron slurred as Richard caught his falling hat that tumbled down after catching the roof of the taxi as he climbed inside.

“Absolutely nothing, mate. It’s luck of the draw isn’t it?” Richard slid in next to Taron and was quick to place his hat back on his head. “Shit, that’s backwards.” He laughed as he tried to spin it around without taking it off again.

“Get off.” Taron’s hands batted Richard’s away playfully as he ducked and then fell to the side as the taxi turned a corner sharply, leaving him a giggling mess across the back seats. “Some bodyguard you are, I could have died just then!”

“Such a dickhead.” Richard replied to himself.

“Seriously though, I take the world’s most handsome man out with me as a wingman and still end up without a girl. How is that even possible? They don’t even want me in a long-shot attempt to get to you!”

“Taron.” Richard sighed. “You’re being ridiculous. I’m only the world’s second most handsome man.”

“Go on, say it. Behind me. You know you want to.” Taron’s grin widened.

“Behind… Jamie Dornan.”

“The bastard.” Taron replies.

“The bastard.” Richard copied and nodded in agreement. “But to get back to your point, I think we just got too drunk.”

“Are we unattractive drunks?”

“Nooo, I’d still kiss you.” Richard declared with a sly grin.

“So would I…” Taron started to lean in closer to Richard, his drunken eyes doing their best to focus on Richard’s before he made his move and lowered his gaze to his lips. Their faces were just centimetres apart before Taron lost his nerve and jumped back from Richard with a loud giggle. “Shit, I thought you’d crack!”

“I knew you’d go first.” Richard replied smugly. “You always did on set.”

“It was my first time, man! I was nervous as fuck.”

“It’s a good job it was me on the receiving end and not a drop-dead gorgeous naked woman instead. It’s hard to keep your eyes up sometimes!”

“How do you know I didn’t have that struggle anyway? Maybe hairy chests are my thing.” Taron winked and yet more giggles filled the back of the taxi.

“So this was your plan all along? Get me drunk on the premise of being after a woman but then seduce me in the taxi on the way home so I can take you to bed again?”

“You’ve rumbled me!”

“Might still be down for it.” Richard was the one to wink this time. “As long as you’ve brought your hot pants.”

“Brought them? I’m already wearing them! Never leave the house without them on.” Taron patted the tops of his thighs teasingly.

“Brilliant… These women don’t know what they’re missing out on!”

“Where are we even going?” Taron broke away from the flirting for a second as he looked out the window with mild confusion.

“My place. I got given an expensive looking bottle of whisky last week and I knew just the guy I wanted to share it with.”

“The one with the broken heart?” Taron placed his hand over his chest as the genuine sadness filled his eyes.

“That’s the one. Come here, man.” He reached out and placed his arm around Taron’s shoulders, pulling him in gently to lean against his side. “It’s really shit, isn’t it?”

“Y’know you’re the only one who’s said that to me? Everyone else has been full of bullshit advice about keeping busy and looking after yourself. Eat healthy, go to the gym, get plenty of sleep. It’s all crap. Give me a new best mate who tells it how it is and gets me drunk on whisky any day of the week!”

“It’s what I’m here for.” Richard smiled to himself at Taron’s affection.

“And he does it all whilst wearing the softest cashmere scarf. That’s a true man, right there.” Taron lifted the end of Richard’s scarf and placed it against his cheek.

“You can wipe away your tears, but no blowing your nose into it.” The taxi pulled up at the side of the road and Richard climbed out and paid the driver.

“Who said anything about crying? I’m so fucking done with the crying now.”  Taron milled around in his own little world, mumbling drunkenly to himself as he waited for Richard and then followed him down the short path to his front door and stepped straight inside as Richard held the door open for him.

“I would apologise for the mess, but I don’t think your place would be any tidier. Find somewhere to sit and I’ll get the whisky. Do you want it over ice?”

“My life is messier than your house right now, and I’ll take the whisky however it comes. Even drink it from your bellybutton if it meant I wouldn’t have to sober up.” The longest, loudest, laugh could be heard from Richard as he found himself bent over double in the kitchen at Taron’s comment.

“Stranger things have happened between us!” He called out in reply as he continued to laugh.

“Should I take that as a yes?” Taron called back, but Richard walked through into his living room with two glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other.

“God, you’ve not managed to shake the last remanence of Elton from your mind yet, have you?”

“I’m not entirely sure I want to…” Taron’s gaze lingered longingly on Richard as he accepted the glass of whisky and waited for Richard to drink. As he did, Taron knocked his straight back and then relaxed down into Richard’s sofa. “I don’t want to be me right now.”

“What are you finding the hardest?”

“Just being on my own. Yeah I can talk to people, call my family and mates, but it’s not the same as that one on one chilled time.”

“Where you can just kick back and put your feet up?” Richard did exactly that, sat back against the arm of his sofa and stretched his legs across and into Taron’s lap. It was a simple move but the small smile it put on Taron’s face let Richard know that he was making progress.

“That shouldn’t even be possible… how has that made me feel so much better?”

“Great whisky.” Richard joked and drew another small smile out of Taron. “It’s just being able to feel totally relaxed with someone. So much so that you can invade their personal space and know it’s only going to please them.” Taron placed his hand to Richard’s leg as he sat forward and helped himself to another drink, savouring it this time with a contented sigh.

“I think you’re right.”

“I usually am.”

“It’s like the lack of physical contact is a shock to the system. Like a sudden withdrawal of affection.” As Taron thought aloud his fingers traced up and down Richard’s lower leg.

“They say love is a drug.”

“Does this mean I’m in rehab?” He turned his head in search of an honest answer.

“No, you just need a good rebound shag.”

“You have given me all the right answers tonight, Madden. Told me exactly what I’ve wanted to hear; Thank you, mate.” The wider smile that graced Taron’s face transferred straight across to Richard’s as the feelings of happiness flooded his body.

“Shame I couldn’t get you a girl to complete your night.”

“Already feels complete with you here.” Taron slid Richard’s legs off his lap and moved up the sofa so he could wrap his arms tightly around his shoulders. “I mean it. You’ve made me feel so much better.” He added as he let his head rest gently against Richard’s.

“I’m really glad, T. It’s good to see a genuine smile back on your face.”

“It’s good to hug someone properly again.” Taron finally let go but didn’t move completely away. He was all but sat in Richard’s lap, one arm resting outstretched along the back of the sofa and the other absentmindedly playing with the lower button of Richard’s shirt. “So. What now?” He asked quietly as he looked down to his fingers.

“What do you want to happen now?” Richard replied before his nerves had reached his stomach. He wasn’t sure he’d have said that out loud if he’d felt his nerves first, but it was too late to take it back. There was a sudden heat that hit his chest as Taron’s eyes flicked back up to his, the green colour seeming deeper than he’d remembered from the last time they were this close together.

“I don’t know if I should answer that.”

There was a longer silence that fell between them as they couldn’t stop looking at each other, desperately hoping that the other one would either take the lead or find a good reason why they shouldn’t.

“We’ve both had a lot to drink.” Richard’s voice was just above a whisper.

“And we’ve both had time to think this over. It’s not rash.” Taron replied, being the first to drop his sight and feel a pain of disappointment.

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t.” Richard added, desperate to see the hope come back to Taron’s face. “It’s nothing we haven’t done already, what difference would it make?”

That was all Taron needed to hear. He lunged forward quickly and placed his lips to Richard’s in a hurried kiss, feeling the comfort and intimacy that he’d been craving wash over his body and relax him almost instantly as Richard started to kiss him back. 

[storiesaboutcole]

If You Want To

Description: You were locked out of your apartment and Cole randomly appears to save the night.

Your night just couldn’t get any worse. You lost your purse at the bar, your phone died and now you’re locked out of your own apartment. You kept on hitting the buzzer but to no avail. You groaned out loud, devastated, knowing that your roommate was not at home yet. You tried buzzing your neighbours too, but they thought you were just some random drunk who’s trying to enter the building.

“Fuck off!” the guy from unit 7A told you without even trying to hear you out.

With no money or whatsoever, you were beginning to accept the fact that the only thing that you could do was to wait out in the cold. You sat on the doorstep, admitting defeat. Then the most hopeful thing happened to you. You looked up and saw the window to your bedroom open. Your unit is just a storey up anyway. You could just climb up, you thought to yourself. Delighted, you began to study the surrounding as you slowly lay out the strategy in your head. You mentally thank yourself for wearing a pair of jeans instead of a dress.

“I can do this,” you told yourself as you take of your shoes, stepping on the handrail of the staircase. You tried reaching out to the window apron above you, but since you’re rather small, it was just too high for you. You quickly looked to the left and thought maybe you should try stepping on your neighbour’s apron first to give you the height you needed. And so you did, while praying that your neighbour was fast asleep. 

“Yes!” you celebrated when your hands could finally reach the apron above you. You just needed to lift yourself up but it was so much harder than you thought it would be. You began to panic and struggled with balance a little bit as your feet wobbled on the apron below. You took a calming breath and recomposed yourself.

“You can do this, [Y/N]. You can do this,” you exhaled.

You tried lifting your weight again, and this time, you brilliantly placed your foot on the little space in between the concrete wall like how you would while rock climbing. It worked! You lifted another foot and almost screamed your victory when you suddenly heard a siren from behind you. You turned around to look and saw a policeman approaching the entrance.

“No! No! No!” you cried to yourself.

“Miss, can you step away from the window please,” the officer sternly told you. He was in his 30s, early 40s maybe.

Panicking, you quickly abide to what the officer told you to do.

“Miss, I believe you are trying to trespass,” he said.

“Me? No, Mr Police, sir. I was just trying to get to my room. You see, I’m locked out,” you nervously swallowed.

With his eyebrows all furrowed, he immediately asked for your ID. “Can I see some ID, please?”

“I don’t have it with me. You see, my purse got stollen in the bar. My phone is dead. And I’m freezing to death out here officer,” you explained.

The officer looked like he wasn’t buying anything you were saying. You just knew whatever he was about to say would mean you’re dead. Perhaps the earth would just open up and swallow to your death already.

“From what I see, you’re attempting to enter the premise without permission, Miss. I might need to bring you to the station. Maybe you can get a friend to come and help you out there,” he told you.

“What? No! I am not going to follow some stranger in a car. Especially a guy in uniform!” 

“Miss, I am not going to allow anyone trespass this property without solid proof,’ he remained cool. “Now, would you please follow me to the station.”

You violently shook your head, nearly crying, thinking why on earth would you be arrested for trying to climb up your own bedroom window.

“Is everything alright?” A voice asked from behind. Both you and the police officer looked at the man behind you. He was flashing the biggest smile that you felt offended by it.”Did you get yourself locked out again, hun?”

You were puzzled by him. So was the police officer. You swore you have seen him somewhere before, but you just couldn’t wrap your head around it just yet, considering the fact that you’re worried shit about being taken to the police station.

“You know her?” the officer asked the guy.

“Of course. She is my girlfriend. We live here together. You have to forgive her because she can be a bit forgetful, sometimes. It’s not her first time,” he grinned, winking at you as he placed his arms around you, pulling you in closer. That caught you off guard.

The police officer carefully studied the both of you before he finally resigned.

“Alright then. I guess we are all good. Don’t climb the premise ever again,” the police officer scolded you. You turned bright red in embarrassment, as you watched the police officer returned to his vehicle. 

“That was easy,” the guy next to you chuckled. His arm was still around you, so you quickly released yourself from him. “Oh, sorry!” he shyly smiled. “I’m Cole.”

“[Y/N],” you nodded. “Thank you for saving me.”

“So, are you really locked out or were you really trying to break into the apartment? I overheard you and the officer. Thought of helping.”

“What, you don’t believe what I told the officer?” you gave him a side eye.

“Of course I do,” he chuckled. “Just making sure.”

“Do you live here?” You asked him, hoping that he was so you could slide into the building with his help.

“Unfortunately, no. So, technically, you’re still locked out. Sorry,” he bit his lip.

“Damn it,” you whispered, but he heard you anyway.

“Do you want to go for a walk or something? I mean, it’s too cold and dangerous to wait out here,” he offered.

“No, thanks. How would I know if you’re not a serial killer or something?”

Your question made him laugh. 

“Well, alright then. Waiting out here won’t guarantee you that you’d be safe from other serial killers, so...” he laughed. “Your choice. I won’t bite. I promise,’ he held his hands in the air.

You studied Cole for a minute. You began to think that he might not cause any harm. 

“Okay, okay.” you sighed, as you started walking. Cole made a little run to catch your pace. He was obviously delighted.

“Do you even live around here?” you couldn’t help but wonder.

“No,” he shook his head.

“Then what are you even doing here?” you asked with furrowed brows.

“I mean, I used to live around here, but I moved away. I’m just mainly here for work nowadays,” he explained.

“Oh, really? What do you do? Sell drugs on the street?” you chuckled.

“Hey, do I look like I belong to a drug cartel?” he laughed. 

“Maybe,” you chuckled.

“Let me remind you that it was not me that nearly got arrested,” he teased.

“Hey!” you playfully smacked his arm.

“Ouch!” he playfully looked over at you. You blushed when you realized that he he was actually really cute.

“So, [Y/N], what do you do?” You shook your head, and reminded him, “Uh-uh. No way. I asked you first!”

“Okay,” he nervously chuckled. “I’m... I’m a photographer.”

“Really? Wait.” you abruptly stopped your tracks and looked up at him so you could scrutinize his face. You were sure that you’ve seen him somewhere.

“What?” he flushed.

“I think I’ve seen you somewhere, but I just couldn’t remember where.”

“Probably my twin,” he scoffed, like he was telling an inside joke. “Your turn.”

“Don’t laugh, okay?” you warned him.

“Okay.”

“I’m a blogger.”

“Really? Are you one of those influencers they called these days?”

“Hey! I told you not to laugh!”

“I am not!” he chuckled as he took out his phone. You two were standing in the middle of the footpath as passersby walked pass the both of you. “What’s your Instagram? Let me add you up.”

You hesitated, but since Cole was really nice to you, you decided to give him the details he wanted. “It’s [your username]. I’d follow you back, but my phone’s dead.”

“Don’t worry about it, [your full name]. You’re a good influencer because you’ve influenced me to follow your Gram! And, whoa! 30k followers. So, you’re famous!” 

“Ah, stop it Cole!” you rolled your eyes. 

Laughing, he asked, “Hey, do you want to grab coffee or something? There’s a coffee shop downtown that I really like. On me. Given your purse situation.”

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go anyway,” you shrugged.

The both of you shared more random stuff about each other as you made your way to the coffee shop. You really liked how warm and inviting Cole was. He made you feel like you have known him for such a long time.

Cole was about to open the door to the coffee shop when he was suddenly stopped by a couple of girls at the entrance.

“Cole! Oh my god!” one of the girls squealed.

“Hey ya!” Cole warmly smiled. 

“I won’t take much of your time, but if you could, please. Can we take a photo with you?” the other one excitedly asked. You were puzzled by their reaction. And seeing how gladly Cole was to take a photo with the girls, you began to wonder if he’s famous or something.

“Thank you so much, Cole!” both the girls said in unison. They didn’t even realized you were standing behind them when thet walked away, still squealing in joy.

“Sorry about that,” Cole told you as he opened the door for you.

“Are you like famous or something?” you said mimicking him.

He hesitated to answer. He bit his lower lip and starred at you. “I wouldn’t say that. I mean, if I were, then you’d recognize me. But, you didn’t.”

I heard faint whispers as we sat at one of the tables by the window. 

“Oh my god, is that Cole Sprouse?”

“He’s so hot.”

“Who is he with?”

“Make him look here.”

You could tell that Cole was pretending not to hear.

“Cole, do you mind if I borrow your phone?” you asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he handed it to you, with no questions asked.

You began to google Cole Sprouse. And you’re instincts were right. Cole was indeed famous. Not because he was a photographer. But because he was a famous actor.

“Are you going to tell me that you’re an actor or not? Now I get why people are excited about bumping into you.” you showed him the search results on his phone.

“You googled me?” he tilted his head. “On my phone?”

“Yeah, I had to. I overheard they said your name and got curious. So, why lied?”

“[Y/N], I didn’t mean to lie. I mean, I really am a photographer. It’s just... it’s just awkward for me to tell someone I’ve just met that I’m an actor. I don’t want to sound like an asshole. I’m sorry,” he gave you a sad puppy face.

“Well, okay then.”

“Really? You’re not mad at me?” 

“Why would I? It’s cool that you’re not one of those hey I’m famous look at me, look at me type.”

“I don’t know. I have to be honest with you. This is probably the first time that I meet someone who doesn’t know who I am or what I do and I really like it. It makes me feel like you want to talk to me because I’m me, you know? Not just because you know me as an actor or something. It’s refreshing, to say the least,” he warmly smiled.

You started to feel bad for him. It must have been tough to be him.

“Is your hair actually blonde?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I had to dye it black for a character.”

“Oh my god! You have a twin brother!”

“Yeah, I do. I told you that before. Okay, enough with googling stuff about me. Now, let’s talk more about you.”

“Nope,” you shook your head. “Let’s play a game instead.”

“Okay?” he said, confused.

“21 Questions.”

“Really? That’s your game? You’ve been asking me tonnes of questions before we even play this game.” Cole looked around cautiously, chuckling.

“Are you afraid, Cole Sprouse? It’ll be fair for the both of us. You get to ask me questions and I get to ask you some. Fair, isn’t it?”

“Okay. Fine. Bring it on. You first,” he said as he stretched his arms. 

“What was the last photo you took?”

“Good question. Hmm, a photo of my cast members. Okay. I guess, it’s my turn. If you couldn’t be convicted of any one type of crime, what criminal charge would you like to be immune to?”

“You just love to torture me, don’t you? Hmm. Probably trespassing,” you laughed. 

“That’s a good answer,” Cole joined your laughter. “[Y/N], which celebrity do you think is the most down to earth?”

“Is that a trick question? You want me to say it’s you, don’t you?” 

“I mean, is it not true?” he laughed.

“You’re impossible, Cole! Okay, okay. What do you need help with most often?”

“Shutting up, because I tend to talk a lot! What were you completely certain of until you found out you were wrong?”

His questions never failed to make you laugh. “Climbing my bedroom window apparently, without a doubt.”

The both of you ended asking more that 21 questions. It just went on and on, from politics, to entertainment, to your favorite cartoon characters. You then realized that it was really late. 

“Okay, last few questions because it’s late!” you announced. “What topic could you spend hours talking about?”

Cole paused for a bit like he was constructing his answer. “I don’t mind talking about you for hours. I mean, technically, we just did,” he admitted. That made you flush. And awkward. He just sat in front of you, eyeing you from across the table. Not in a creepy way though. In a way that gave you butterflies in your tummy kind of way. He cleared his throat when he realized that you looked uncomfortable and quickly asked his question. “Do you like things to be carefully planned or do you prefer to just go with the flow?”

“Go with the flow, I guess. What’s something that you know is true, but you don’t like to admit it?”

Cole looked at you again and smiled. “Probably the fact that I kinda like bumping into you tonight.”

You didn’t say anything. Your heart was racing because you felt the same way, but was just too shy to admit it. 

“Can we see each other again after tonight?” Cole asked.

“Cole... Are we still playing the game because it doesn’t sound like the right question,” you swallowed.

‘I’m sorry,” he shyly said, looking a bit disappointed. You kinda felt bad for making him mistook your awkwardness as disinterest. “I’ll ask a different question then. What’s wrong but sounds right?”

You eyed him before you answered. “That maybe, we can start exchanging numbers?” you boldly suggested.

Surprised, Cole smiled to himself like he was finally being asked the question he wanted to hear. He looked down at his cup, as a few strands of his hair brushed his face, before looking at you again. You were smiling warmly at him, patiently waiting for him to answer as he returned your smile.

“I thought you’d never ask. Only if you want to, [Y/N]. Only if you want to.”

[sending-the-message]

I used to work on the deepweb: Part Three by Panley01

Hey everyone. It's Ryan again. I mentioned in my last post (Link here if you missed it: https://redd.it/7mzdw4 ) that things were getting a bit hairy, well I'm out of town and sorting things out. I've received multiple threats for talking about this stuff but I think my tracks are well enough covered, I should be safe. I can't help shaking the feeling I'm being watched though... I'll put it down to paranoia. But enough about that, I'll be fine. It's time I carried on with my story.

After the second set of events at the farmhouse I made the outward decision to never go there again, regardless of pay. Yes, I like the grand I had to spend, yes I was curious. But I wanted to live and going back there would lower my life expectancy by 60 odd years. If the old lady didn't shoot me, I'd likely die from cardiac arrest just from being back there. Matt has been busy researching the case. I've messaged him a few times but I only get one word replies. I can't help but worry about him... This whole thing feels off and not just because of the murderous old lady. I decided I'd do some of my own digging, perhaps I could find something to help Matt out. In all honesty not knowing was killing me, but then again... Knowing could literally kill me... Regardless I started by looking at the cases of the missing children. Online records showed that the mayors two kids went missing a couple months ago... Considering the old lady supposedly shot them only a couple weeks ago... Either that old man was lying or those kids went missing before showing up at the farmhouse...

The other kids had all went missing within 2 months of each-other. All the same story, they go out to visit a friend or go to an event and never show up. No trace of the disappearance... No leads... No witness... They were all dead cases. All kids of powerful people going missing then two turn up at a farmhouse on the fringe of town, get shot and all of a sudden the person who shot them is getting blackmailed by those same powerful people? Perhaps the old lady wasn't at fault after all... But what could be going on? It's been roughly two months since the last disappearance, would there be another missing kid soon? If so, who? How was Matt so good at this stuff? More to the point... How can he afford to pay people? Did he have a boss? This whole line of thought added to my theme of having lots of questions and barely any answers... But then again, some questions you just don't want answering... If the old lady didn't commit those murders, then why did she have that cork board? Perhaps she was trying to find the truth as well... It hit me. Jacob.

I sent Jacob an e-mail asking him if he had photos of the cork board, also letting him know to contact me on the sending e-mail if he had any work for me. His reply came quite promptly: "Ryan, I do have photos but I can't show you. Photos are for Matt. You ask him, not me. Thanks for letting me know e-mail. I'll tell you if I have work. You good kid." I sighed in defeat. I could ask Matt but there was no way he'd say yes... I didn't want to go behind his back and Jacob was his employee but... "Jacob, I'm looking into the same case as Matt, please, I really need to have those photos. I'll pay you?" Ironic, I was going to offer to pay Jacob with the same money he'd paid me not long ago. "Ryan, I have uploaded the photos. Here is the link: [Removed, for obvious reasons.] Link goes in 5 mins. Get quick. You owe me job." I always found it hard to argue with Jacob, especially when his point involves me not losing my money. I quickly visited the link and downloaded the photos. It was a clearnet link so I was about 90% sure the files were safe. I studied the photos, trying to scavenge whatever information I could.

I'd been looking through the photos for a few hours, I wasn't much further but I did find out that all the kids were involved in drugs. Nothing hardcore, just weed, couple less intense pills... I suppose when you have rich parents you can afford to do that crap. Quite how the old lady knew this is beyond me but then again, everything about that hag was completely beyond me. The two kids who invaded the farmhouse were dealers it turns out, weed dealers. They operated in the town, where they got their drugs from was a mystery though... The other kids seemed to all be users. The kids in question would also often frequent the same pubs, restaurants, shops... Seems they were all friends? Even with this new information, I was no closer to actually having an idea of what the fuck was going on... A bunch of drug loving friends all vanish progressively then two break into the home of an old lady who was watching them? This was all incredibly confusing and I was STILL no closer to knowing anything substantial. I decided I'd look into drug traffic in my town, best way I knew how? You guessed it. Deepweb. I went back onto my favourite forum and started asking around, pretending to be asking as a buyer. I found a guy who was a local dealer and asked to meet up under the premise of buying some weed. I had no fucking idea how much weed cost or how much to buy so... I asked for 2 spliffs worth. Do kids even say spliff anymore?

After a short drive into the town centre, I met with the guy at some apartment block, he was waiting in the foyer. I had brought £500 of the 1k pay Jacob had given me, I wasn't here for drugs of course, I was here for answers. I greeted the guy with a handshake. As part of our agreement, I'm not allowed to describe him so... He was a person. He had arms and legs. That's all I have to say. After talking to him for a while, offering the money and saying a dealer had hurt a friend of mine and I wanted to know who, he told me a bit about the local dealers. Apparently the entrepreneur who's kid went missing had been siphoning off business funds to run a deepweb drug trade in the town. The dealer didn't know much more than that, only the boss himself and the fact the trade was carried out over the deepweb. Guy even said the deepweb gave him the chills, he just operated on it because that's how the boss likes it. He also said he knew two dealers had been taken out recently. He wasn't sure who did it, just that they were missing. I thanked him and headed home. Was this what being Matt was like? It was pretty exciting... This whole situation was still irredeemably fucked up but actually finding stuff out? That almost made this worth it... Oh, I never actually bought the weed by the way. In fact he ended up smoking it so... Said snitching gets him edged but clearly £500 is enough to buy some pretty useful info.

So... A bunch of druggie kids who are all friends, who go missing when they go to meet their friends, who's dealers work for a guy on the deepweb, who's kid is also friends with those kids, and those dealers invade the home of someone investigating them, end up getting killed, all the other kids are still missing. All this had me at was that clearly, that businessman was corrupt as fuck. If only I knew someone on the insi - Lara. -- Breaking from the story to let you know, if you haven't read my "Courier" story, you won't know who Lara is... Give it a read if you missed it! https://redd.it/7n70em -- I sent her a message, asking if she had done any work in the area, if she had any contacts? She got back to me after a couple hours, hours I spent staring at the ceiling contemplating why I took that job in the first place... "Hey stranger, long time no talk, yeah I've ran a few jobs. What's up? Something wrong?" I was at a standstill for what to reply with. Should I tell her the truth? "Some dealer attacked a friend of mine, all I want to do is find out who they were..." I paused, choosing my next few words with inhuman trepidation "... But they went missing a few weeks ago. Know anything?" I waited... My breath catching in my throat as the seconds ticked by. "Ah, I think I know the guy, I take drops from him pretty often. Mostly weed right? Last time I saw him he was gassing on about someone who was watching their work... There were a few kids with him at his place, all looked about his age. Half of them spent their time ogling me as ever... Stupid kids ;)" I thanked her for her help and promised I'd talk to her more often again, I'd been pretty busy recently after all...

I think I was beginning to get what was going on... Bunch of kids get together, all with powerful parents who can aid them, and run a deepweb drug business? With the Mayor, police inspector, a supporting entrepreneur and the kids themselves, they could run a pretty good business free of risk. And anyone who tried to interfere... Well, just look at the old couple. I thought about what Matt might know... Maybe he could help? I composed a message full of the information I'd gathered and the sources. It took me about an hour to write up... His reply came more promptly than his previous ones. "Holy crap Ryan! You've been doing my job for me eh? I was trying to find out the same things but, being so far away I couldn't meet with any contacts. I was actually considering asking you to work for me again but hey, I needn't ask! Good job man! I'll get to work trying to find out more. In the meantime I need you to lay low. I've looked higher up the pyramid than you and let's just say some potentially dangerous people are behind this. Same account as last time for your pay I take it?" I was at a loss, I'd found more than Matt? These people were dangerous? I mean I know they attacked the old lady but... Where did it go from here? I was so busy thinking this over I almost forgot Matt had just offered to pay me. I replied with a curt yes and a good luck and sure enough, there in my account was another £900. Christ. I mean, costs considered it was more like £400 but still... This was good money. And yet... Was I really about to risk it by going against Matt and investigating more?

Well, that's it for now. Before I can put out the next part I need to make sure some people are okay being mentioned in it. After all, this information is pretty... Well... Illegal. But I should be able to get the go ahead by tomorrow, after all, money talks. And I didn't impulse spend ALL the money Matt paid me which leaves me with some bribery cash. Things will nearly be wrapped up in the next part, I'm sorry for extending things out by telling this in parts but there are alot of factors at play and I control barely any of them. Hopefully, I'll see you all next time for part four, until then. I'm going to head to bed for another painful night of no sleep.

[coolgirl]

Fic recs masterpost

ok so i used to have a lot of fics masterposts on my old blog and people keep asking for recs + i wont be able to upddate them or anything anymore so i decided to just move them all to this blog

under the cut: AUS / arkham knight / jaykyle / jayroy / robin!jason / gen / angst fics 

*: last added (april 4) //   for some reason the links arent working so go to jasontodd.tumblr.com/ficrecs for the links, sorry!

AUS

The Virtue of Revenge | young justice au with jason as red x making his own team with roy, starfire, raven, and others. i love it, even if it has shaky moments and stuff pls give it a chance.

crystal silence creeping down | young justice/lost days au

Flicker from View | another young justice au

Live to Rise | yes. you guessed it. young justice au.

Collide &  Convergence | au where post crisis jason goes to the young justice universe

The Changeling Sequence | series where jason meets damian before he went to gotham. The last part is a wip that i doubt will ever get updated again, so uh be careful. read only the first or second part and forget about the third.

The Drag of Fate | au where jason is lady shiva’s son as well. Part of a series, which i also highly recommend but idk if they would be au as well

heavy on the heart | another jason and cass are bio siblings. A+.

Didymous | cass and jason are twins.

repairing the world | i dont know how to explain this series.. its an au and really really good. Jason doesn’t appear in all the pieces.

just go  | jayroy, wings au

In the Shadows (of Who We Used to Be) | jayroy, black widow & hawkeye au

The Family (or how Jason Todd was adopted by the Avengers) | marvel crossover

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna dooo) ♫ | jason is damian’s batman. iconic fic imo.

Rise (And Try Not to Fall) | star wars au

A Bird in Morning | bruce finds jason when he’s at the hospital after crawling out of his grave

Moment Between | ghost jason & ghost martha and thomas wayne

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Perhaps The World Ends Here | marvel crossover, future jaykyle

Batten Down the Hatches | a few different aus here. young justice + helena wayne

My Brother's Keeper | jason & damian knew each other from before + damian arrives to gotham just for jason

When the Moon Found the Sun | main story is clark/bruce but it’s preetty cute. soulmates au.

Between the Light and the Dark* | damian & jason uuhm i cant remember what this one was about per se bc im reading like 5487 similar fics but yeah

Two Dead Birds  | time travel stuff

Red Blood, Blue Blood | jason (and the rest of the batkids) are bruce’s biological kids, yeah i wasnt a big fan of the premise at first either but its gud

Rebirth | talia & jason, mind the warnings

you belong among the wildflowers | kate n renee adopt jason instead of bruce

We're the warriors of tomorrow |  Cass, Jason and Damian meet while with the League of Shadows

Can You Hear Me?  | ghost jason

to death's other kingdom I will not go  | bruce makes it on time au

The Ties That Bind  |  The pit restores Jason's body but not his mind, Ra's makes him one of his assassins and Talia adopts him as her own.

death’s outlet song of life* | the gordons find jason before the events of lost days

reflections on shattered mirrors.* | talia & jason stuff

Come Alive* | young justice s3 based

A Path Upon The Ground* | au from lost days, eddie and jason meet again

ARKHAM VERSE

If He Had Come & the sequel  Desiderium | au where bruce rescued jason before he could become the arkham knight.

the roads we know

this gun needs no bullets

JASON & BRUCE CENTRIC (not romantic)

Quack | this one is so crackish but so so cute i love it, robin jason

If He Had Come & sequel Desiderium  | arkham knight verse and its so good and has a lot of bruce & jason feels

Neverland /  Keep Lying To Me | deaged/ little jason from another universe.. sad and cute

Icarus and Bubble Gum | fluff, robin jason

Knock On Death’s Door | bit of both but not so so so angst, red hood jason

dead and dying things | au

In Memoriam | angst, trying to fix their relationship, red hood jason

If the Fates Allow | angst, red hood jason

The D-Word | fluff kind of.. red hood jason

This Place We Built With Grace and Guilt | angst angst angst, red hood jason

I Love You | robin jason, fluff

Wayward Birds | fluff and angst, robin jason

yesterday’s gone, yeah it went away (i’ve been lost but i’m here today) | another trying to fix their relationship fic, its cute and sad

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Little Absences | sad, robin & red hood

Schrödinger's Honest Man | sad, drugs tw, absolute fave

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

Frozen History | de-age

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

Unconventional Family Reunions | bvs setting

Prompt: Trapped | mind the warnings

Safe In My Arms 

The Failures of Reverse Engineering  | ghhm not really bruce & jason maybe?

to death's other kingdom I will not go | bruce saves jason au

points of impact  | glass case get fucked

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)*

waiting for you. *

The Little Things*

World's Finest* | my uwus my uwus have fallen everywhere

JAYKYLE (all iconic)

In Which Kyle Confesses The Same Thing Six Times

milk and honey

Batman vs Space Bureaucracy

deadlock

attention to detail

tempest in a teapot

violet tendencies

no love, no glory (no hero in his skies)

keep the door open for me

waffles and war 

The Art of Subtlety (jason lives au)

Perhaps The World Ends Here | marvel crossover, future jaykyle

Riding in Batcars with Boys

boy, you fill my lungs with sweetness

no chance, no way, i won't say it (no, no)  

a change in the atmosphere

invitation to commitment

Overexposed 

i deserve that, don't i, some sort of blazing love that i can live with 

i won't say 

The water is always warmest at dawn

JAYROY (all iconic too)

sleepless 

Countdown

just go (wings au)

Unspoken

(for thy love is) better than wine (E)

Rooftops

Dick Wolf is a Really Funny Name

A headache isn’t always a bad thing

sad eyes, bad guys, mouth full of white lies [high school au]

kairosclerosis 

The Night They Met 

march down an empty street (like a ship into the storm) *

Archange de la mort (rallume ton flambeau) * | hic warning lol

this time, the loser wins | steph & jason centric though

So Baby Come Light Me Up *

Little Talks *

All the light is never ending, much like you and I; *

Don't let me go, for I feel I may fall * | soulmates au

Something Reckless * 

OTHERS

how to make a home. * | some eddie/jason if you squint, rose/eddie/jason team up

This Car Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us* | could be read as jayconnor :3

Robin/young!Jason

The Art of Subtlety | jason lives au, jaykyle

Little Absences | sad, robin & red hood

I Love You | robin jason, fluff

Wayward Birds | fluff and angst, robin jason

Icarus and Bubble Gum | fluff, robin jason

Quack | this one is so crackish but so so cute i love it, robin jason

we were not tragedies | jason & babs, read warnings

Heavy Home | gen, alfred & jason

Good News (No One Mourns the Wicked) | Jason & steph & damian. harold they’re dead (kinda robin!jason??)

Love Yourself (So No One Has To) | good amazing au with some selina & jason (not really.. robin but it starts as robin!jason i guess?)

Moment Between | ghost jason & ghost martha and thomas wayne

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Tired &  Laundry | kinda au, read tw!

Smoke | jason & jim gordon

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)* | mix of present and past jason

Sidekick* 

waiting for you.* | technically baby jason

The Little Things*

World's Finest* | oh this one.. my uwus

GEN

hold on to what  we are, hold on to your heart | gen, Barbara & Jason friendship. Some dinahbabs & jayroy

gotta give the boy points | gen, absolute fave

Strangers in Nothing but Name | marvel crossover, side steve/bucky

If He Had Come |  Desiderium | Arkham Verse, gen

I can’t  think up a good  name for this | young justice verse, gen apart from canon relationships

A Better Thesis | gen, p short but i loved it

The  F-Word | gen, batboys being batboys

until i’m in my grave | gen, wip 

Robins United | gen, batkids bonding, except for cass, thats my only complaint

Free of Dogma | gen, canon divergence, marvel crossover w Jason & Bucky

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna dooo) ♫ | au where damian is jasons robin and not dick’s, obviously damian & jason brotp. 

Heavy Home | gen, alfred & jason

In the  Shadow of Two Gunmen | gen, Marvel crossover

Flicker from View | side Barbara/Dick, young justice verse

I Love You | gen, Bruce & Jason

how to  hide a stray resurrected superhero from your parents/parental figure | au, jason & tim friendship kinda

One For The Road | Jason/Roy/Koriand’r but its SO cute

Baby,  It’s Cold Outside | gen, Dick & Jason

The  (Family) Doctor’s  Appointment | gen, batboys bonding

The Family (or how Jason Todd was adopted by the Avengers) | marvel crossover, gen

Reason | wip, gen, canon divergence

Soliloquy | gen, tim & Jason brotp,  and really cute batfam moments

Red As The Shadow Of Death | gen, young justice/under the red hood verse

Give Yourself a Chance | gen, duke & Jason & leslie brotpish

homecoming | outlaws brotp fic, could be considered shippy if you want to

And I Said What About Breakfast at Tiffany’s | jason & steph

Of Bats and the Forsaken | jason & all the batkids, side steph/cass and jay/roy if you squint

this is a long drive (for three robins who don’t agree on much) | no capes au, steph & jason & damian, background tim/tam

The Dying of the Light | marvel crossover, bucky & jason, canon divergence

Cat | selina &  jason, catlad au

Killing for Love | cass & jason, au  where jason was lady shivas son  

Keep Lying To Me | de-aged au, just heartbreaking imo, cursed fic

The Social Habits of Robin | gen, batboys. Where_is_cass.jpg tho

Steph and Jay’s Excellent Adventures | series, Steph & Jason

Neverland | jason & batkids, young!jay travels to the future. sad asad sad

on a thin chain of moments and something like faith | gen, jason & cass & steph mostly. really good

Good News (No One Mourns the Wicked) | Jason & steph & damian. harold they’re dead

In a Parallel Life | batboys focused, it has amazing dialogue, dynamics, and characterization. It’s only missing Cass and the rest of the girls.

repairing the world | series, not everything is about the batfam.

Born to Run (Born to Rise) | Jason & Talia having a mother/son relationship reblog if you agree

Live to Rise | it updated again p recently so yay! young justice verse

To Save a Dying City  | jason + other people

Let’s Have Some Fun This Beat Is Sick | mostly damian centric

Movie Night: The Mummy  | read trigger warnings, batboys

The Trading Chain  | not jason centric, but it has cass being older than jason and calling him “little brother” so noice

we sure know how to run free  | jason & cass

Yesterday’s Voices | bruce loses his memory au

Nests and Cages series | read trigger warnings

Roots | barbara centric, really good plot and characterization

Love Yourself (So No One Has To) | good amazing au with selina & jason

Retrograde Motion | de aged jason au

Provenance | mostly roy centric, bruce fucks oliver’s life for what he did to roy. iconic

Schrödinger's Honest Man | sad, drugs tw, absolute fave 

Batten Down the Hatches | a few different aus here. young justice + helena wayne

My Brother's Keeper | jason & damian knew each other from before + damian arrives to gotham just for jason

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

until i'm in my grave v2 | this one is already mentioned in this post BUUUT the writer started rewriting it so!

Frozen History | de-age

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

show me yesterday, for i can’t find today | time travel au

Warm Enough | alfred & jay fluff

Parallels | mia & jason team up

Legacy | reverse robins, not jason centric but hes there alright.. i think.. i cant remember :D

What are the words I'm forbidden to say?* | damian & jay fluff

Cracked Foundation| jason n damian

Cat's Cradle  | more jason n damian

spaces in between  | damian & jason again

When the lights go out  | damian & jason, theres a pattern here

in my head, i do everything right | some jason & steph

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)* | past & future jason

life, if well lived* | jason travels back in time and meets martha & thomas wayne

In Charge * | babie jason

Pyrrhic victory* | jason & damian stuff

Twists and Turns* | more jason & damian bonding

Of Brothers and Batcows* | guess what.. yes! more jason & damian

This Car Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us* | jason & connor.. say no more!

First Gear* | back to jason & damian please read this.. damian tries to teach jason to drive

changing, falling, fading (please watch over me)* | jason bonds with damian & steph

ANGST

Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death [read the trigger warnings!!]

in the repairing the world series there are a lot of fics dealing with jason, tho Warm Enough ugh not all are centered around him. I would say read  Escalation | Coup de Grâce |  Interlude for the rh!jason arc, and  Tired &  Laundry for robin!jason. [also read trigger warnings]

Countdown | jason/roy]

those six days [trigger warnings again!!!]

Call | angst

the tune without the words  | kind of character study from jim gordon’s pov

Unspoken | jason/roy, really angsty if you remember how red hood arsenal ended

If He Had Come & Desiderium | arkham knight verse, read trigger warnings!

Reason | on hiatus :/

hold on to what we are, hold on to your heart   | this is my favorite ever.. read trigger warnings

Heavy Home | alfred & jason

until i’m in my grave [trigger warnings!]

Keeping Broken Pieces Together

Monsters | marvel crossover

gotta give the boy points | this one please!!!! another fav. read trigger warnings

The weight of it [trigger warnings!]

Live to Rise | young justice verse

Neverland | THIS ONE IS PURE ANGST!!! please its so sad..

Keep Lying To Me | this one has some angsty scenes too im sad emoji

hangman is coming down from the gallows  | some angst

Movie Night: The Mummy  | read trigger warnings, batboys

Love Yourself (So No One Has To)

All in the Blood [read trigger warnings]

Little Absences

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

Rebirth * | mind the warnings and its really. sad.

The Failures of Reverse Engineering *

Eternal Soliloquy * | sad sad

throw me a lifeline (I might even catch it) *

changing, falling, fading (please watch over me) * | jason & steph & dami angst

[noussommeslessquelettes]

what are your most recommended klance fics?

Oh gosh I’ve read so many Klance fics and so many of them are so good so this is by no means an exhaustive list

I mean I’d like to give a special mention to my fics to start this list off (if u haven’t already read them that is ^^;;;)

(note: I’m gonna include some fics that have sha//ura in them only if the fic was written before Wondercon, when we learned about a//ura being a teenager. I don’t think it’d be fair to exclude those authors’ works from the list, given that the general consensus before WC was that she was an adult)

Drive Like You MeanIt

[Multichap] (Mature rating,minor Sha//ura) [Multichap] Lance and Keith are rival street racers. I’m always weak for sports AUs (yesmotorsports counts in my mind as a sport), and I have a soft spot forautomotive racing. This fic is a really entertainingread that explores the dynamic between Lance and Keith, and I reallyappreciate how well the racing scenes are written in terms of action.

Scattered Stars

[One-shot] Not avery long fic, but I really appreciate how the author employsdescriptive language to explore Keith as a character, particularly inhow this relates to how he sees Lance. My favourite lines from thisfic go from “Lance was like the moon…” to “… they don’towe you anything.” Particularly that last line has me like fuck HOWdo people come up with this in their minds???

Running Flat

[Two-shot] (Minorsha//ura) Team Voltron finds out someone has a crush through the mindmeld. This fic was super cute and sweet. The characterisation wassomething that really stuck with me when it comes to Team Voltron asa whole (like I think sometimes we forget as a fandom that theGarrison four are just kids???), how the characters all play off eachother and poke fun. It also does a good job of going into Keith andLance’s insecurities surrounding their feelings towards oneanother.

Today, Anew

[Multichap] (MajorCharacter Death… sorta; It isn’t permanent) Keith’s stuck in atimeloop, and at the end of every loop Lance dies. I’m sO weak forangst, and this fic is chock-full of it. I’m always wary of MajorChara Death because no u can’t hurt my babies, but this fic doesn’tend with the character dying so unless you’re really sensitive tothe physical act of death, you should be gucci to read this. I reallylike the characterisation of Keith in this fic, it really does a goodjob of exploring how his aggressive attitude translates into fierceprotectiveness, and it really makes you empathise with how hisdetermination turns into frustration and in turn to desperation.Happy endings are had which is imo a necessity for heavy angst.

Don’t BreakConnection, Baby

[Multichap] (Mature,minor Sha//ura) Keith is a phone sex worker, and Lance prank callshis line one night. Really enjoyable and unique premise. It’s afairly popular fic too, and definitely worth a read if you’re overeighteen (highly NSFW due in no small part to the premise)

Glass Lion Menagerie

[One-shot] (Mature,graphic depictions of violence) This is a bit more of a Keith ficthan a Klance fic, but honestly it’s one that’s really stuck inmy head. I was hesitant to read this at first given the premise(spoiler: Trans!Keith finds out he’s pregnant, has a bit of aninternal crisis, then gets violently injured by the Galra—no damageis sustained by the fetus), but I am glad I did. It explores a verydifficult topic with respect and tact, and the characterisation feltvery real to me. I don’t think it’s a fic everyone canread/enjoy—it is a fair bit graphic—but I’m very happy to havegiven it the benefit of the doubt.

Please DrinkResponsibly

[Multichap] (Mature,alcohol) Lance insists he never blacks out, and intends to prove itusing a checkpoint system administered by Keith.Competitive friends Lance and Keith? Pining Keith up the wazoo? Lancebeing an oblivious mess? Sign me the fuck up. Another fairly popularfic, this one’s a must-read if you’re over 18(!!!) and alrightwith some smut.

Of Backups andOutcasts

[One-shot] Lance,prince of Altea, sets out to prove himself by rescuing an injureddragon, who he discovers isn’t entirely what he appears to be.Really cool and interesting premise! I’m not one for high fantasyif I’m being honest, but this fic kept me hooked from start to end.Another really good exploration of how Keith and Lance play off eachother as characters, as well as who Lance is as a character in hisown right, trying to prove his place in his world.

Kitchen-Roll Rockets

[One-shot] Anotherfic that has a really good grasp of descriptive language. I love howit explores the transformation of Keith and Lance’s relationshipthrough the years, and how Keith himself develops his sense of selfthrough his upbringing.

Bus Buddies

[One-shot] Lancehitting on Keith, and just some good old-fashioned mutual courting.Also the ending is really cute??? Like super cute.

Time to Intervene

[One-shot] Blue andRed are tired of their paladins bickering, so they take matters intotheir own hands. Suuuper cute portrayal of the Klance dynamic, andall around just a really good story.

Foreign Scenes

[Multichap] Gotcaught up in a bit of my own wanderlust reading this fic. Angrystrangers to fast friends to lovers, enough mutual pining to keep megoing for about a month, and really cute and supportiveHunk/Pidge/Shiro trying to help these two just let themselves behappy and in love.

Let’s Talk AboutAUs

[One-shot] I had adream something along the lines of this fic after watching seasontwo, so imagine my delight when I found that someone had written it!I love how Slav just Knows, and he’s waiting for Keith to figure itout, it’s a fic I could totally see happening behind the scenes incanon.

And the fics I’m currently subscribed to are as follows:

There is no Lube inSpace (Mature, sexually explicit content, graphic depictions of violence)

The Quiet

The Arch Project

Something Just Like This (Mature, sexuallyexplicit content)

Perihelion

On Thin Ice

Moonset Deep

Misdialed

Live for the Fight (When it’s All that You Got)

Laughter Lines

In Your Shoes

Gold Dust

Ethereal

Crowd Pleaser (Mature, alcohol,drug use, sexually explicit content, abuse, anything else that uwanna avoid has been tagged by the author so)

Conspiracy Theorist

One Last Spark

Nude Modeling isn’t Romantic

If you have any fic recommendations for me, feel free to send them in! :D

[poipoi1912]

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 18x18

The last fifteen minutes really ruined what was, until then, a perfectly serviceable episode. It really flew by, up until that point, and I kinda liked it. It was dumb but fun :D

I even liked the hypnotism angle, but I must say, I think the problem persists; yet again, the episode had an interesting premise, but it failed to take advantage of it. Why not go into the practicalities of hypnosis? Where was Huang to get on that stand and explain it in detail? Speaking of, wouldn’t Barba talk to an “expert” during the trial? Why not make a show if it and demonstrate hypnosis? Wouldn’t that be fun to watch?

Warning

OK, guys, I’m going to be honest. I’m of two minds, when it comes to this episode. Sonny-wise, the episode was fantastic (and let’s be honest, that’s always my main concern lol), the premise was fun, we got Barba working with the entire team, not just Liv, and the case itself (the investigation of it, at least) was twisty enough to remain enjoyable.

BUT.

From a legal standpoint, this episode was laughably bad. It honestly left me baffled. Who wrote this? The last fifteen minutes were ridiculous. No way would Barba ever get a conviction based on what we saw. I’ll expand on that in a minute (in EXTENSIVE detail), but first let’s start with the good.

Sonny and Continuity

A lot of great stuff in this episode! Sonny pulled a classic Sonny, and looked into the case thoroughly, going above and beyond and finding information about out a crime which was committed out of state. He even dug up a civil suit. That’s absolutely consistent with the Sonny we know. It’s what he’s always done. He never gives up, he finds smart ways to work around the obstacles and solve the case.

I also appreciated that Sonny showed real empathy when he heard the first victim had died. Peter played that little moment so well. Both the surprise and the sadness. What I loved most about it, was that it didn’t feel like he was thinking “oh shoot, there goes our witness.” It felt like the old Sonny, the one who used to cross himself when he found a dead body. The Sonny who’d take the time to grieve, just for a moment, when confronted with the death of a stranger as opposed to last week’s Sonny, who dismissed actual death threats like he didn’t give a shit lol.

And I do always love it when Sonny cracks a case with his research. Even though he didn’t actually crack it, because what the fuck? But, again, more on that later.

Sonny’s Love Life

Wait, Sonny has a legit girlfriend that’s been mentioned more than once? Can we meet her, please? I’ve always wanted to see him happy and in love :D and making out with someone lol. I just wish we knew more about her. A name, even. Wouldn’t Amanda know her name? She and Carisi are obviously buddies. So far, the info we got on her is a) her bra size (classy, SVU writers) and b) that she’s into that raw food trend. I like that, actually. It fits Sonny. He seems like he’d totally be up for trying new experiences food-wise and otherwise, and this could be their thing, going around random restaurants and trying to convince each other to eat weird dishes, lol.

I love it when our characters are shown to have lives outside the “show”, but can we actually see it? Can we see Sonny all flirty and cute? If they don’t want to cast anyone new (because they seem averse to creating new characters), can’t we at least see, like, Sonny smiling as he talks on the phone, or as he reads a text, with Fin teasing him about it? Or something? Please? :D

Barba Thoughts

I was surprised Barba was the one to suggest hypnotism. Way to think outside the box! I’m not sure he was the best person to do that (he seems like a total skeptic who’d shoot that theory down immediately), but I bought the excuse of him having come across it before. Plus, I loved that he was the one who got to solve the case, for a change. And I also liked how the entire team, Barba included, spent several scenes brainstorming together. I had missed that. Barba in the precinct, with the entire squad.

Aaaaand that’s where the fun ends, and the pedantic/annoyed part of my post begins, lol.

Why on Earth would Barba take legal advice from Liv? Why would he ever play that tape for the jury? If that’s not reasonable doubt, I don’t know what is. Why would he follow Liv’s actual instructions? She’s not a lawyer! She directly affected the case, in a way that could have been detrimental, even though Barba seemed like he knew better (since he tried to talk her out of it, before folding as always), and the way the episode chose to resolve that was by having Liv and Barba drinkin’ it up at a bar.

Liv’s mistake was never identified as such, and it took Sonny “deus ex machina” Carisi and his random discovery to save the day.

Even though it shouldn’t have. Which brings me to:

The Law

Me for the first like 45 minutes: OK BUT WHERE IS RITA???

Me when Rita appeared: YASSSSSS QUEEN

Me at the end of the episode: NOOOOO QUEEN 

Where do I begin?

Why was Barba acting like hypnosis was sure to be accepted as 100% real and effective by a court of law, let alone a jury in its entirety? Why did he seem to “suddenly” realize he had no case (which, d’oh) at the halfway mark, only for Liv to wrongly convince him otherwise? And, even if Barba did manage to stumble upon a group of jurors who all believe in hypnosis, why didn’t he bother actually proving anything?

To get a conviction, Barba would have to prove that:

hypnosis is real,

hypnosis can be powerful enough to make a woman consent to sex against her will,

Trask has the skill to hypnotize people,

Trask actually hypnotized this specific victim, and

Trask raped this specific victim.

None of that was ever proven. None. Like I said, no expert was shown explaining just what hypnotism entails. No proof was given that Trask even knew how to do that (so what if his mentor taught him, does that mean he now knows how to do it perfectly?). There was an actual tape with the victim’s ‘consent’ that was played but not actually debunked.

And oh Lord. That old case Sonny dug up. WHERE. DO. I. BEGIN.

What defense attorney, hell, what judge would allow a totally random arrest from over 20 years ago to be brought up into a totally unrelated criminal trial? Not to mention, no one even bothered to point out that the defendant was a drug addict at the time (22. YEARS. AGO), and he had since “changed.”

To be fair, the writers tried to make it work, with Barba asking Trask if he had ever been arrested, to “open the door” to bringing up the previous arrest (and also to get Trask to lie on the stand). Problem is, Trask only lied about the arrest itself, not about the specifics of it. With that in mind, Barba would only be able to mention the arrest itself, to contradict Trask’s testimony and present him as a liar. But he’d never be able to introduce the actual details of the arrest, the actual facts of that old case.

Barba would need to ask something specific to open that door. Something like, “Have you ever been accused of anything like this before? A man in your position, wealthy and surrounding himself with drugs and beautiful women,” blah blah. If Trask had lied about that, then Barba would have been able to bring up a similar case from the past (even the case of the dead woman mentioned previously). 

Unfortunately, there was nothing similar about the case Sonny found. No relevance, no probative value. A drug addict, ill and scared, letting someone die? Over 20 years ago? An expunged arrest, no conviction? That was prejudicial as fuck. Rita would have it thrown out in 3 seconds. Many times, prosecutors can’t even mention actual (and relevant) convictions, because it would be prejudicial, unless the specific convictions have a significant probative value relating to the case on hand.

Same goes for that half-assed “confession” to Trask’s mentor-slash-friend. Trask never mentioned this specific victim. That was circumstantial as fuck. I'm embarrassed on Rita's behalf for losing this mess of a case. The old Rita would never.

Legally speaking, this was a total circus. Barba proved nothing. No way would the jury find Trask guilty. No way would Rita Fucking Calhoun let any of that fly. This is Dana Lewis levels of character assassination, in my book. 

Stray Thoughts

Is Liv working reception now? Didn’t she used to have an office? Where her subordinates could reach her, if a victim wanted to speak to “someone in charge”? You’re a Lieutenant, sis! Let someone else man the doors!

Declan? 👀

Amanda didn’t judge a victim, for once, and the case involved drugs! Progress!

Fin listening to that lady for like 5 minutes? YES. His face was the highlight of the episode. Fin himself was the highlight of the episode, actually. So many great lines, and Ice-T was clearly having fun.

Speaking of, we got Fin joking! And Carisi joking! And Amanda laughing! Who are these people? I don’t recognize them :D

Seriously though, I really appreciated the attempt for a more ‘lighthearted’ episode, but the writers should have stopped themselves riiiiiight before giving Rollins the line, ‘look deep into my eyes, you’re under arrest.’ Because no.

[cake-of-awesome]

a few years ago i had joined a roleplay community. it wasnt very big, pretty close knit. like after a few days you pretty much knew the people who would visit the chatroom regularly, those who were regular submitter to the artists galleries and the likes.

whenever someone new joined the community the atmosphere was always pretty excited? since its a new face in a very small group of people and everyones curious what theyre like as a person and excited to roleplay with someone new as a change of pace

it was during this time i met a lot of great and talented individuals and had a lot of fun roleplaying and goofing off during my downtime. everyone had great characters and despite the depressing premise (where everyone was dead p much) the community was pretty jolly and light hearted. although maybe im just thinking that way because im seeing everything through rose colored glasses idkthere were bad times though too. and one time in particular still just.. fucks me up. it was with one member from the community and recently i ran into them again and i just dont know what to do. cause everytime i talk to them i think about the last time we had a real conversation together and it. just. sucks.back in the day the community was split pretty evenly between people who lived in the united states and canada and people who lived in australia and the phillipines. so basically opposite ends of the world.i ended up adding a bunch of them on skype so we could talk whenever and continue talking forever, including this certain member

now to be fair we were friends. i wouldnt really consider us friends now just because i havent talked to them in ages but. at the time we were. we’d talk for hours about our characters and the inspiration that we put into them. i had a lot of fun talking to them and they really made me think about what makes a good character in general

the character i had in the community was basically a self insert. he was originally a poor attempt at some kind of bad boy flirty type that gave way into my own frustrations with depression, apathy, and mangled relationships. but of course at the time i had no word for depression, mostly out of denial, i thought if i said that my character had depression people might actually point the fingers back at me and ask if i was also depressed. which was a road i didnt not want to go on.

this member was not afraid to talk about it though. they were very upfront about having depression and talking about how much it sucked. what led up to it. what they do to deal with it now. i both admired them for being so open and candid about it.... but i was also afraid for them.

a year earlier i had lost a friend to suicide. i had never met them and to be honest i dont think he really cared about me at all. but being in the same situation where someone was talking about how often they wanted to die... it just kept remind me of slo. and how, as an internet friend, there wasnt a whole lot i could do but listen. and eventually i just had to stop.

one night they ended up calling me through skype. i thought it was weird bc up until then we never called. and i dont think i ever told them that i had a slight fear of the phone. i answered it though because, there wasnt much of a reason not to? i was home alone and i was just doing homework so i answered it.turned out the guy had swallowed a bunch of pills and was just looking for someone to talk to while he waited out his death sentence. when i found out i just broke down. i immediately thought of slo, even though his death involved a car crash and this guy was just drugged up on some unknown cocktail of pills.

i tried to talk them out of it. but theres nothing to talk a person out of when they already did the thing. i begged them to see the brighter side but even i couldnt see what that bright side was. i tried to explain what i did when i felt that way. rubbing my hands on car keys or taking in the texture of the carpet. i remember him alluding to cutting. eventually they passed out from the pills and stopped responding. skype disconnected the call, and i, in a panicked state called 911 and talked to an operator who told me there was nothing they could do when they didnt know where the guy lived, what his real name was or any piece of information. they werent miracle workers. although they could pray.

i dont think i went to bed until early the next morning.  my body was too seized up and my mind was just stuck thinking about slo and the unknown state of my friend. im pretty sure one of my roommates came in after hanging out with friends and tried to comfort me at some point too but they went to bed a little later due to being too tired.

in the end they wound up being okay. their girlfriend found them that morning and helped them to get better. i guess whatever cocktail of pills they got just wasnt lethal enough to do much other than give them a really bad stomach ache. which was good. and im really glad for, and part of me also relieved to find out they’re still alive after all these years

but at the same time i just... dont know how i feel about them anymore. after that night i slowly stopped talking to them. kinda avoided the chatrooms for a bit and i think i even removed them off skype when i was cleaning up my contacts. when they were removed from the community for being inactive i was secretly relieved. which then prompted me to hate myself immediately afterwards. i mean! what kind of friend am i? to be secretly glad a friend who i know is severely depressed being removed due to inactivity? im not a friend im a fake.

but at the same time, they terrified me that night. and ever since then whenever i talked to them i was always worried about them somehow calling or telling me that theyre in the middle of killing themselves and theres nothing i can do about it. it sucks. and im powerless and i cant do anything. its a terrible feeling to have and forcing anyone to be in that position is a selfish powerplay. and so... i just stopped talking to them. i’d let time and silence erode the friendship we had until we were total strangers again. let the space between us comfort me while i tried to ignore my own guilt for turning away someone who’s hurting badly

but now theyre back again and, i dont know what to do. i mean i know what to do. i should talk to them and talk about that night and how it fucked me over so badly and how they need serious help. i know i should do this. this is my second chance here but at the same time. i dont want to think abotu that night again. im trying so hard not to think about death. and here comes the person who everytime i think about them i think about killing myself and that powerlessness and slo and everything bad and it makes me sick

but things would get better if i just opened up and talk... wouldnt it?

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #13: “Dumber Dolls” | November 3, 2002 - 11:15 PM | S02E05

Aqua Teen Hunger Force took a little bit of a hiatus and returned with one of their all-time greatest episodes. In Dumber Dolls, Frylock buys Meatwad a budget-priced doll named Happy-Time Harry, who is a sentient miserable prick who’s voiced by David Cross. David Cross is best known for Mr. Show, the world of stand-up, Arrested Development, and also being a sentient miserable prick who’s voiced by David Cross. Happy-time Harry has been beaten down by life, is suicidal, self-harming, angry, and worst of all, MEAN! Meatwad becomes more and more depressed after hanging out with his new doll, to the point where Frylock actually buys Meatwad the expensive doll he actually wanted, Jingle Billy. Jingle Billy is a happy-go-lucky hillbilly that dances at the drop of a hat and has his own pair of night-vision goggles. Jingle Billy blows his own head off with his musket after spending time with Happy-Time Harry. In 2002 I was still infatuated with David Cross and this episode not only didn’t disappoint, but it still resonates to this day despite my views on Cross evolving. I still like the guy more-or-less. Cross has this odd quality that I think can be summed up in a review I read of his first album, which stated that laughing at his comedy felt the same as laughing at your incredibly funny friend you’re hanging out with during a long late night of drinking beers and (does a backflip) ♪ smoking weeeeeeed ♪. I feel like when people fall in love with Cross’s comedy they sorta fall for this illusion that they’re kinda friends with him, because that’s just the vibe he gives off on stage. He’s comfortable, confident, and willing to mock you to your face because you’re pals! But by all accounts (including my own) he strikes me as enormously unfriendly; a bitter misanthropic crank who deep in his heart just wants to be left alone. I’m not judging him at all! That’s how I am most of the time, to be honest. Anyway, this is one of the funniest episodes they ever did. Aqua Teen was really strong during this era and this episode is a gem, and it’d probably make my list of all-time greatest Adult Swim episodes.

One last thing is: I can’t find my source on this, but I remember reading somewhere that this episode was supposed to air later in the season and Adult Swim simply played the wrong episode. This might be true, maybe Dumber Days was supposed to air instead? But I vaguely do remember this being advertised as a different episode airing. I should keep better notes.

MAIL BAG

London Arbuckle writes:

I remember attempting to write South Park fanfic in middle school, literally hand-written on lined paper so I could work on it in class or at lunch. One was just a flagrant ripoff of This Little Wiggy but with Barbrady's son. Another I just went off of the Chinkpokomon episode and did that but about Pokemon cards, because I was a child and into Pokemon cards, you see. Write what you know! Speaking of which, do you think Policy was just Adam Reed humorlessly documenting an actual fantasy of his?

I think it’d be really fun to do a project that involved attempting to recreate bad fan-fiction attempts from childhood. When I was a kid I remember delusionally  convincing myself I was writing a REAL episode, like a spec script that might be made into a real episode if only I could get a writing agent or whatever it is you do. I remembered trying to write a Seinfeld once. The cold open had Jerry doing stand-up about how Mario Bros. was promoting drugs, and the plot involved him trying to look like a badass to impress a girl but Kramer fills his apartment with dozens of cats, and the girl thinks he’s a wimp because he has an apartment full of cats.

Anonymous writes:

Hey its Matt Stone (Hey its Trey I'm here too but I'm just gonna chill out.) We saw your IRA protestant/prostitute idea and I gotta say we really think it's pretty fucking funny. Any chance of you coming to Colorado and fleshing it out along with any other ideas you have? Peace out. (Later.)

Oh wow! Thank you Matt I would love to! I’m not going to give away the whole idea here, but you know how everyone seems to think that cancel culture is good? Well, I have some, shall we say, differing opinions on the whole thing that you’ll probably find PRETTY interesting. Can’t wait to meet up. Are Colorado strip clubs allowing full-contact lapdances now?

Brandon writes:

So happy to see David Cross on Adult Swim again. His third appearance since Space Ghost's "Gallagher" and Night of the Living Doo with Gary Coleman. Hope this guy doesn't make himself a stranger on this late night block!

I think David Cross has a lot more up his sleeve so stay tuned!

This barely has anything to do with anything, but it’s about David Cross and I’ll say it here to my friend Brandon who will enjoy this: I remember a long time ago I saw a trailer for a student film made by a bunch of dopes and the premise was basically that talking junkie sketch from Mr. Show but it was about David Cross, like a guy believes in David Cross and is seeking the truth in the face of stuffy bureaucrats who keep telling him “there’s no such thing as David Cross!” and one of the big jokes in the trailer was they kept cutting back to one of the characters chugging what was probably tap water out of a vodka bottle. I wish I could find it. I wish I could find them. I wish I could help them.