#feels so incredibly violating and awful

[thethingything]

finally processing that we're probably gonna have to have these teeth removed with either sedation or general anaesthetic and unfortunately I have a phobia of both of these to the point where just thinking about it gives us panic attacks and I genuinely don't know what to do because I absolutely want to avoid this at all costs but we also might not have any other option

[penisliker-moved]

i did Not Start feeling better lol.i feel worse

[idyllcy]

you make me wanna make ya fall in love

word count: 1.97k || EMT Leon || slightly ooc + flirting (HIPAA violation)

summary: the 2000s called, they want their romcom plot back

"I'm actually gonna pass out." You sit on the couch, blinking rapidly as your head goes light.

"I called 911 already, so hang in there, alright?!" Ashley stays connected to the call, holding you up as you groan, stomach caving in on itself and your eyes giving out. Oh, god, is this how you die? You focus on breathing through your mouth, ignoring the way Ashley's voice is reduced to ringing and the way you're sweating buckets. Ew. Maybe you should've— oh. this is because you didn't eat, huh? It is 8pm. Yeah, this one's on you. Maybe the heavens will be nice and let a nice hot EMT show up to your door and save your ass— yeah, tough luck.

You can't believe you're about to pass out and all you can think about is men. You're literally failing the Bechdel test. What are you? Some poor girl in a teenage romcom? You're not even a teenager.

You close your eyes for some shut-eye, disrupted when you're shaken awake, blinking slowly as you catch sight of Ashley first, holding her chest in relief when you stare at her.

Then, you notice him—

Beautiful blonde hair, brilliant blue eyes, arms hard as a rock, you might've just died and landed in heaven. Are you in heaven? Surely you must be. This man looks so gorgeous it's incredible. You have to be in heaven right now. You blink at him with doe-eyes, confusion visible on your face. Ashley's here, so you're not in heaven. Did you just happen to have a super hot EMT show up to your door like you had been imagining? Oh, god, are you... psychic? This is a revelation! This is insane! You have to—

No, seriously. You're not in a romcom. Can the narrator stop describing it like it's some sort of a romcom? The 2000s called, they want their cheesy romcom plotline back.

"Fucking hell." You groan, shifting against the wall. "How long was I out?"

"Ten minutes." The man reads. "You're just low in blood sugar. We have some orange juice, would you like that?"

"Yeah. Sure." You furrow your brows. "God, wow, count on my body to shut down without sugar."

"It happens." He thanks his coworker for the glass, holding it to your lips. "Tilt, please."

You tilt your head back slightly to press your lips to the glass, drinking it as you lean back to lick your lips, offering to take the glass from him as your arms start cooperating. "I can do it."

"Best not to." He nods. "Just finish the glass. We'll stay until your blood sugar rises."

"Isn't it almost immediate?"

"Takes around 15 minutes."

You raise a brow at Ashley, who shakes her head, and you finish the rest of the glass, watching as Leon checks your stats.

"How often does this happen..." You glance at his nameplate. "Leon?"

"More often than you'd think." He hums, tilting his head at you as Ashley talks to the other worker about your insurance. "Let me guess, you forgot to eat?"

"Yeah. My body stops feeling hunger after a certain point." You hum. "It's not super good, huh?"

"Yeah. Try to have some candy or juice throughout the day. It helps." He nods. "College student life, huh?"

You tilt your head. "How old are you?"

"Been a few years since school." He nods. "Your blood sugar's back to normal, sugar."

You hold your hand over your mouth, raising a brow at him. "That definitely breaks some sort of work protocol."

He smiles, sneaking you a candy from his pocket with a wink.

Huh. Hard caramel.

"Are you alright?" Ashley rests a hand on your shoulder, and you give her a thumbs up.

"All good." You lean against the wall to get up. "I should eat, though."

Leon grabs your arm, helping you up. "Definitely. Have something high in sugar or carbs."

"Will do, Leon." You nod. "Wishing you an uneventful work day. May no emergency be absolutely awful."

"Thank you. Those days are the best."

You send them off as Ashley starts nagging about not eating, and you pout as you lock eyes with her, door locked, ambulance gone.

"Yeah, he was hot."

"YEAH, HE WAS."

You forget about him, though. You start popping candy throughout the day, same brand as the one Leon had given you, your lips curled upwards sweetly when it hits your tongue. It's not food, but at least you won't be passing out because your blood sugar's low again.

You're also never going to see him again, so it's fine if you carry a piece of him around with you.

Except you do. You see him at the EMT booth at a local concert, Ashley in your arms because there's something wrong with her this time. (You really ought to start taking care of yourselves, huh?)

"Ah, sugar." Leon smiles. "Friend this time?"

"Yes." You set her down as he checks up on her. "Is she okay?"

"Seems fine. Just needs some water. Dehydration. How long you been out there?"

"Since morning." You glance at the venue. "Didn't eat either, though I've been having candy."

"That's not good for you, sugar." He hands Ashley a bottle of water, sending her off with you. "Go grab some food."

You watch as he fishes out a twenty from his pocket, blinking as he holds it out to you.

"I can't take that from you, sir."

"Nonsense. Concert food is expensive. It's on me." He smiles.

"You're still breaking workplace rules, I see." You rummage through your pockets, taking Leon's hand as you place a caramel in his hand. "As a thank you."

"I'm sure it'll be delicious later." He smiles. "Now, off you go. We've got quite a line."

"Wouldn't dream of holding you up, Leon." You lead Ashley to the side by the crowds, waiting for her to grab a drink before pulling her to grab something to eat. You pay for her food first, setting Ashley with the rest of your friends before waving to get something of your own.

"Get his number!" She manages to yell as you disappear into the crowd.

Now that's breaking protocol.

Yet, you use the remainder of Leon's money to get him something to eat, waiting for the line to dissipate slightly before handing him a drink.

"For me?"

"It's got... liquid IV in it." You scrunch your nose. "Hopefully that's not a scam."

"Not completely." He takes it from you, pinching at the straw to mix it. "Did you eat?"

"I was about to."

He glances at his coworker and then the intermission.

"That'd be bad, Kennedy." The woman next to him warns.

Leon sighs. "Have fun eating."

"Thank you again." You grin.

"Ah, and for dessert." He reaches for your hand, placing another candy in it. "A hard caramel."

"I'm starting to think you have a thing for caramels, Leon." You raise a brow, taking two steps back before throwing a wave his way. "I'll pay you back later!"

You grab dinner with the rest of your friends, waving bye to them when they leave to continue, Ashley making sure that you've got candy on you before she's gone. You have one final singer that you'd like to see before you leave the event. You're glad you live close to the venue. You could probably walk back or uber if you were really desperate. Though, you wonder just how long the EMT are staying.

You find yourself mixed into the crowd as you wait, jumping when your favorite artist finally appears, cheering with everyone else. You don't blame the rest of them for retiring early. You're the only one who listens to this artist anyway. The setlist has you jumping, cheering at the live vocals, yelling your heart out with the lyrics, and when the set finishes, the sun's almost down. It'd be smart of you to head out at this point.

You make a turn to head back, popping the caramel in your mouth, stopping in your tracks when a man blocks your way.

"Where ya off to, sweetheart?"

"...Oh, you know." You smile, nodding to excuse yourself.

"Need a ride home?"

"Truly, it's alright—"

"I insist."

You wrack your brain for a solution, yelping when you feel hands on your waist instead, pulling you backwards. Your back is flush against someone's chest, smile on his lips as you blink. Sure hope it's not some other creep.

"Hey, you good bro? Had one too many to drink? I suggest the EMT tent."

You let out a sigh in relief, watching as the guy notices the uniform and scrambles.

"Thank you." You turn around, smile on your lips as Leon nods.

"You're just too lovely, sugar. Gotta keep those flies off of ya." He nods. "You feeling alright?"

You nod.

"Gone all quiet on me?" He tilts his head. "Alright, up you go."

You yelp as he lifts you into his arms effortlessly, arms wrapping around his neck as he carries you out of the crowd. He presses his forehead to yours to check your temperature, looking to the side when you don't react at all.

"You good?"

"I'm fine, Leon. You didn't need to." You let him take your vitals, the tent practically empty now that the concert was finishing up. His coworker nods at him and heads out, and leaves you with Leon. That's gotta be illegal in some way. There is no way a law is not being broken right there. Aren't they both supposed to get off at the same time? Is that?? legal? Is their shift over?

"You seem fine." He kneels at your chair, fingers on your wrist as he takes your heartbeat. "Heart's a little fast, though."

"Yeah?" You mumble. You're sure you look embarrassed beyond belief right now, so you opt for sucking on the caramel in your mouth.

You're not surprised he takes notice. "Actually, I think my head's spinning just a little. Must be the lack of sugar. You got any on you?"

"Well, I kind of ate my last one..." You mumble, sticking your tongue out with the candy.

"I don't mind."

"Yeah?" You suck on the candy.

"Of course not, sugar." He leans in, tilting his head. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, who am I to say no?"

You let him kiss you, tongue with the caramel offered to him, sugar on your lips and his from it, though you would argue that the only reason the candy seemed to taste so good was because of him. You tilt your head to angle better, Leon's hands finding yours on the chair, pushing himself to you with a hum in his throat, tongue in your mouth as he steals the caramel from you. You don't mind. You might've just tasted a slice of heaven of your own.

You pant, tongue stuck out and mouth open as Leon shows you the candy on his tongue, smiling.

"You got a ride home, sugar?"

"You gonna kidnap me?" You raise a brow, licking your lips for whatever remnant of him is left on you.

"Not with this pretty lady, no." He smiles.

"Breaking work protocol again, I see."

"I'm off duty." He glances to the side as the new shift arrives, and Leon offers a hand to help you up. "Don't worry, sugar, you can pass out on my car. I've got all the candy you could want."

"Hm..." You tap your chin, taking his hand as he pulls you with him, not letting go.

"Hm what?"

"How about we grab brunch sometimes nearby? Just to make sure my sugar levels don't drop from forgetting to eat?" You tilt your head, watching as Leon tilts his head back to you.

"Oh, sugar. You don't even need to ask."

[transsexula]

Hate seeing people say that Transandrophobia isn't real because, in their words, the "androphobia" isn't something people in real life face.

Now. Maybe this is because when I see this opinion, it's attached to someone who is either transfem, AMAB, or who has only ever lived in incredibly liberal areas.

Meaning: They do not have the life experience to speak on that.

It's simple, I can use myself as an easy example: I grew up on the west side of the US. My extended family and parents were very Christian, very conservative. The community I grew up in was in turn the same- very conservative, very Christian, very fundamentalist. Certain Disney movies were banned from the house for featuring witchcraft, or other "morally reprehensible" things. DISNEY MOVIES.

With this background, I'm sure you can tell where this was headed: I can clearly remember being in the pharmacy with my mother. I was small. I saw a lady with what I now know is a pixie cut- incredibly short hair, bright bold pink. Her girlfriend was there, and her own hair was incredibly butch- like they went to a sports clips and asked for what the guy next to them was getting. I was amazed- I'd never seen a woman that looked like that before. I voiced so with awe and wonder to my mother. I was supposed to get a haircut in an hour. "I want that! She looks so pretty and nice"

Who was visibly disgusted. Grabbing me, yanking me away, muttering "no. You don't want to look like that. Let's go."

Fast forward a few years. I'm too young to be drinking a beer, my uncle has stayed up late. We are watching music videos and sharing interests, when we see a rather masc looking woman in a video. He's disgusted. He makes an offhand joke about how she needs to be reminded of her feminine ways. I know what violations he's implying so vividly. He opens up about his fantasy of hatecriming two butch "women" he saw. I'm too afraid to speak.

There's a debate in church. Should women be allowed to wear above the knee shorts? We really didn't like that they can wear pants. Really, the pastor says in his sermon- it's the woman's job to maintain her feminine nature, in opposition to her husband's masculine nature. These blurring lines aren't good for people.

And- I don't want to get into the people I've known who've been hurt, abused, forcefully feminized, beaten for being masculine- the men that feel entitled to their bodies, because they feel entitled to a say in how they present.

The reason you don't see the abuse for being masculine, is because you come from a world where it's widely accepted in ways that not every culture, not every state or country has.

Gnc women, trans men, transmasc nonbinary people- if you're in the wrong place, born to the wrong family, you may never be safe enough to wear pants. You may not be able to cut your hair. Or be anything less than the perfect, ideal woman.

You get punished for not being what you have been assigned. For the act of defiance against others perception, you can be killed.

So, yeah. There's a lot of androphobia. There's a LOT of fear of the masculine. It just comes out in ways you aren't expecting, as someone who hasn't had to experience it. You don't know what to look for. Where to look. It's everywhere but you can be blind to it if you're insulated enough.

Hell- even terfs are falling into severe androphobia. It's their whole motto. What am I, if not a failed woman to them? Mutilating my perfect feminine form? Being a man is the ultimate crime to these people. Are you really telling me JKRs very public campaign hasn't made life hell for ALL of us? We are all losing healthcare due to this.

[slimewares]

ok, so imagine you have this new, super advanced virtual reality gear, it has incredibly realistic sound, tactile feedback to make you actually feel what's happening in the game you're playing/simulation you're watching, and even an artificial scent system to make you smell, and even trick your brain into tasting, the simulation too. along with a bunch of amazing games, it also comes with a built in social media. you start talking with some of the people you play with and you start getting friend requests. the system allows you to send nice preprogrammed "sensory messages" to mutual friends like a cool summer breeze or the smell of strawberries and cream. one day you get a pop up from the system. it's a new experimental feature, you're being asked if you want to opt in to accepting custom sensory messages. you figure why not and click 'accept.' this requires an update for your gear's system so you decide to call it a day and let it update while you're at work tomorrow. you come home, tired from a long day, but eager to play with your friends. just as your gear boots up, you get an alert.

loading sensory messages, standby for autoplay...

playing custom message: "treat :)"

the simulation starts to play, but there's no visual feed. you think it might be glitched at first, but you suddenly start getting tactile feedback like someone it rubbing your shoulder before pulling you into an embrace. aw, how cute, one of your friends is trying to send you a virtual hug. but soon you feel the hands of the embrace wandering your body and groping you. you even feel something warm and hard position itself between your legs. wtf? who sent this? you try to exit the program but an error message pops up.

unable to skip sensory message at this time

you feel the hard thing tease your opening, whoever programed this simulation seems to have made sure that your simulated body is completely naked and your pussy soaking wet. you try to move to take the gear off, but the simulation is too lifelike and your body is tricked into thinking it can't move. suddenly you feel a large cock get shoved all the way inside of your cunt. paralyzed, your unable to do anything else but scream as you feel the digital cock violate you. they begin fucking deep into you at a brutal pace like you were just some sextoy. in fact, with how detailed the throbbing and pulsing of their cock is inside of you, you wouldn't be surprised if the tactile input wasn't sourced from them fucking some kind of fleshlight. you squirm and cry as you're digitally raped, trying your best to break out of the simulation and remove the gear when they suddenly pull out. oh, thank god it's ov- before you know it you feel something force you mouth open and the smell and taste of cock floods your senses. you gag as you feel your throat getting vigorously fucked. before long they push all the way into your mouth and you feel your mouth flooded with the bitter, briny taste of cum as they unload in your throat. as the simulation ends you get a text box from the programmer.

"lol 8=D"

what strikes you is that the username isn't even one you recognize. what you missed when you first opted in to receive custom messages is that instead of "accept from mutual friends" you clicked "accept from everyone."

loading sensory messages, standby for autoplay...

you desperately try to exit the program

unable to exit program, standby...

mailbox full, 24 custom messages loaded, standby for autoplay...

[the-badger-mole]

It is baffling to me how Kataang shippers interpret that couple. How can you be a fan of Katara in specific and see how little agency she got in that relationship yet still be satisfied with how that whole mess turned out. Katara never gets to express her feelings.

Let that sink in. Katara, who challenged a waterbending master with decades of experience on her, who started a prison riot and freed captive earthbenders, who went out of her way to help a village of Fire Nation citizens. Who made a flower hat for a really cute guy she was into. THAT girl didn't get to express her own feelings for Aang. After their last two disastrous encounters- one in which he violated her consent after she tried to let him down easy said she was confused. After he had opened a lava fissure in her face because she didn't want to talk about his feelings for her. She didn't even get to speak. Her final line between the Agni Kai and that final scene was about Sokka's drawing.

She doesn't get to talk to Aang about how his treatment of her upset her. She doesn't get to express what changed between EIP and the finale. She doesn't get to confront Aang on his habit of running away when things get tough. She doesn't even get to hear what Aang likes about her (I mean, we the audience know that he thinks she's pretty, but beyond that?). The way the finale sets up Kataang it makes it seem like Katara is only into Aang now because he's Th3 r3@L H3r0!!!! (lies, but that's another rant). It makes her look either like she feels obligated or she's incredibly shallow (which, we know she isn't). But somehow this feels like a satisfying culminating moment for Kataang shippers???

And let me be clear, I don't care. I don't care if you are reading this now and you like both Kataang and Aang. I don't care if you truly do think their story is the height of romance. I am not here to debate you on the story merits of Kataang vs Zutara or change your mind on anything. You can like or hate whatever you want in good health as far as I'm concerned. Just know that if you try to argue with me, this is my opinion; Aang is fetid trash. Kataang is somehow both the most boring and the most toxic relationship in the show (yeah, I'm including Maiko). All trying to argue with me will accomplish is to stir up more examples in my mind about why Kataang is a terrible ship and Aang is an awful character/friend/SO/father, so jump into my inbox if you want that. But wouldn't you rather go talk to your fellow shipper fans about it?

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Do you ever think about the like ... intimacy implications(?) of Inej wearing Kaz's gloves to climb the incinerator? Like she gets inside of a part of him, a part no one else has seen. She understands him better because of it, sees just how the gloves are made. She can't touch him but touches the thing that's closest and most intimate to him. She finds what keeps him sane and returns it to him. It's nearly erotic without being sexual, don't you think?

Hello and welcome to episode 4 of DK Finally Gets It Together And Answers Her Asks Because It's About Damn Time (the title's growing on me)

Ep One - Ep Two - Ep Three

As always sorry for how long it had taken me to get to this ask but thank you very much for sending it, let's talk!

YES

Y E S

Y E S

I in fact think about this an awful lot. For me, there are two specific details about Inej putting Kaz's gloves on that feel very intimate and the first is her own hesitance to do so. She talks about how she knows that Kaz would tell her to just get on with it but that she feels as though she's violating his privacy by taking them - I don't have my book on me but I'm pretty sure she says it feels like going into his rooms and rifling through his belongings without permission. The second thing that feels incredibly intimate to me when I read this scene is that when Inej notices that the gloves are unlined and have thin slashes in the fingertips she realises that this is so he can maintain contact with cards or coins or so on when pickpocketing and performing slight of hand and she describes it as "touch without touch". TOUCH WITHOUT TOUCH.

INEJ WEARING KAZ'S GLOVES IS TOUCH WITHOUT TOUCH. THEY ARE SO CLOSE AND YET THEY ARE SO FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER and I'm pretty sure that it's after this scene once they're on the roof together that Inej says it's the first time they've touched skin on skin (though please correct me if I'm wrong) so this is the closest they've ever got to touching before!!!!!!!!!!

I may simply melt into a puddle thinking about them

[tossawary]

Details of the System commenting on Shen Yuan's minor actions and thoughts to enforce the OOC lock in Chapter 1. Specifically when he smiles at Luo Binghe at the end of the chapter and when the System apparently causes him physical pain in front of Yue Qingyuan at the start.

"This smile was purely unconscious - but Luo Binghe felt like he'd been pricked by a small, fine thorn. He quickly averted his gaze and became increasingly awkward, unsure of what he was feeling.

Very soon, Shen Qingqiu couldn't bring himself to smile anymore.

The System had delivered a notificatiob. [Violation: OOC. B-Points -5. Current B-Points: 165.]

Sayeth Shen Qingqiu: "Even a brief smile warrants a deduction?"

Sayeth the System, most righteously: [OOC is OOC.]"

Chapter 1, page 61.

Shen Yuan rolls with his transmigration relatively well, even seeming keen and happy about it at times, and he argues with the System and talks at it when he's bored and accepts point losses when he's determined to do something. He's not moping around and I wouldn't say exactly that he's AFRAID of the System at this point, but mentally, at least unconsciously, it has to be messing with him.

Having something monitoring whether or not you're allowed to smile has got to fuck you up in the head a little. Even if you choose to ignore it! And Shen Yuan cannot always afford to ignore it! Even if Shen Yuan only had to put up with the OOC lock for a couple weeks, I feel like this experience of something commenting on your every move would be pretty awful.

Shen Yuan resolves to go OOC immediately upon his transmigration and the System reacts to those thoughts like this:

"Henceforth, he had to avoid any critical errors!

First eliminate any mistake at the root.

Second: from now on, cling madly to the male lead's thighs.

Third: be a good mentor and helpful friend who is earnest and gentle in his teachings; meticulously show the male lead every kind of concern.

The moment Shen Qingqiu had these thoughts, a long string of alarms erupted in his mind, as if one hundred police cars carrying one hundred shrieking divine beasts were zooming past. It was so cacophonous that he shuddered, clutching his head in pain.

"Shidi, does your head still hurt?" Yue Qingyuan asked worriedly.

Teeth clenched, Shen Qingqiu didn't answer.

[Warning,] the System shrilly notified him. [This proposed plan is incredibly dangerous and qualifies as a violation. Please do not attempt, or the System will automatically mete out punishment.]"

Chapter 1, pages 19-20.

His thoughts aren't private anymore! The System's alarms can be so loud that they cause him physical pain that other people notice! It's messed up.

[gabessquishytum]

No one is entirely sure how it started, as it came about so gradually. Certainly it wasn’t the job Hob Gadling was originally hired for at Endless Ltd.—in fact no one can quite recall what his original job was at this point, beyond that whatever it was he’s no longer doing it—but no one is complaining, as it’s generally agreed to be a major benefit to the office environment.

The idea is that if you request a meeting with him, and he accepts and puts you in his schedule, it’s understood that you’re meeting in his private office to have sex with Hob Gadling, Company Slut.

You wouldn’t think it necessarily to look at him. Sure he’s gorgeous and charming enough, but he behaves like your average friendly coworker—you wouldn’t be able to tell that underneath his business casual clothes he was wearing lingerie and a plug to keep him nice and open for his next “meeting”, or that he has a small closet full of other sexy little numbers and toys in his office (that the company gives him a budget for).

The whole thing mostly works because Hob is just so likeable, both in and out of meetings. He cheerfully participates in work events and hangouts and friendly office gossip, and remembers important details you shared about yourself and your life. And in meetings he’s open to most things, never makes you feel shamed or embarrassed for what you’re into, and always helps you clean up and put yourself back together at the end (and of course he’s an amazing fuck every time). Everyone remembers fondly the story of there being a mix-up and two different people showed up to Hob’s office at the same time for a meeting. Hob had looked at the pair of them and suggested they share the time slot, as he thinks they’d appreciate each other’s contributions. After that meeting the two started dating, and have recently just gotten engaged.

(Everyone also remembers with awe the story of the board meeting that was turning incredibly tense, and if it exploded the way it was threatening to it would’ve caused a lot of problems for everyone at the company. Then someone had the bright idea to call up Hob and ask if he was willing to come mediate. He walked in, then a couple hours later everyone walked out looking pleased and relaxed, all issues resolved. Hob stumbled out after them looking very rumpled, very satisfied, and very worn out, and everyone was very understanding when he decided to reschedule his next few meetings and take the rest of the day off.)

Currently, office gossip has noticed that Hob has been having a few more meetings than normal with Mr. Dream Endless, one of the CEOs (Hob usually goes to the Endless CEOs for meetings instead of them coming to him, so it’s easier to notice when they happen), and a few people think they’ve spotted the two of them spending time together outside of work, possibly in a date setting? General consensus is pleased for Hob and they wish him well, though some are concerned about what the relationship would mean for his job, both for their own interests and for his job security.

(Dream has no intention of ending or changing Hob’s position as Company Slut so long as he’s happy to keep doing it. For one thing, it’s clearly a benefit to the company; employee turnover is at an all time low, productivity is up, and morale has never been better. For another thing, Dream finds it all incredibly hot. The only way it’d be better would be if he could watch Hob at work, if it weren’t a violation of privacy for his other employees. As it is, Hob has taken to sending Dream post-meeting selfies of himself looking well-fucked as a compromise.)

-🪽anon

I like this concept soooo much. Company Slut Hob!

From 9 til 5, Hob works a very busy day. He usually grabs breakfast at the office cafeteria so he can say hi to his colleagues - he's a very social guy! And after that, he gets right to work. He mainly organises his own diary so from 9 - 11am he's mainly arranging "meetings", taking a few calls (some people like to just talk to Hob, and it's a service he happily provides as he describes his lingerie of the day). By late morning, it's time to properly get to work. Frustrations have been worked up, people are getting tense and frankly, some just need stimulation. That's exactly what Hob is there for. And aside from a quick lunch break, he's pretty much block-booked up until he staggers home at 5pm. Occasionally he works overtime - more than usual, ever since he's been spending more time with workaholic Dream... but of course so one wants him to burn out, so he has plenty of scheduled days off to relax and rest his tired body.

When an email finally goes around to the whole company announcing that Hob and Dream are dating, many workers nearly have a heart attack! But the email assures them that Hob will keep his job and nothing will change. The whole office collectively sighs in relief. The company would definitely collapse in less than a month if Hob had to quit! But if anything he seems more horny and full of energy than before. He's got new lingerie to show off, and Dream has given his whole little office a makeover so it's now even more comfortable for both Hob and his colleagues. In fact, some workers who weren't really interested in Hob’s services before start showing up just to cuddle on his big plush sofa and talk through their problems.

Hob deserves a very big bonus, and no doubt he'll get one... in the form of Dream’s cock and a blank cheque for him to spend at his leisure!

[rottenpumpkin13]

I think the biggest factor re: Seph being the only one who broke down so spectacularly is that he actually had the power to back it up.

Everything about how he was raised, what was done to him, and the perfect storm of Nibelheim just lined up perfectly with the fact that he actually had the power to back up his breakdown.

Like no one else is as strong as Sephiroth. Other characters whos only major kneejerk problem solving skill (violence) simply do not have his firepower. He has the magic, he has the physical power, he has the skill.

The games have power creep and all so its hard to see this, but Sephiroth in the lore was just totally unmatched except for Cloud in terms of what a single person could do. Zack is crazy strong, and Sephiroth had to have been sleep deprived and not eating for a week and mentally compromised for Zack and Cloud to just barely win and nearly die in the process.

Sephiroth has the biggest rampage because he has the tools to do it in a way that any of the other people on a violent mental breakdown bender simply do not.

I dont think, strictly speaking, the reason why he broke down like that specifically was simply because he was always destined to do so - I dont think he was destined to always go evil- but it was 100% only a matter of time before he simply couldnt take the strain of everything and had a serious mental breakdown of some kind. Eventually the untreated trauma just piles up so much you cant function anymore.

He didnt have to have chosen violence as his method of mental breakdown, but with the situation as it was, that is what he landed on. He could have just as easily chosen to take his own life or made a beeline for the brass and killed them all instead given other circumstances.

Without Jenova whispering in his ear, he probably would have chosen one of those, I think. In even fairly well adjusted people irl, discovering what unnecessary violating medical atrocities were done to you as a child secondhand off your medical records is often incredibly harrowing.

Theres just so many layers to why Sephiroth snapped and why Sephiroth behaved like that beforehand.

When characterizing him, I feel like people really undersell and underestimate what chronic trauma starting from childhood does to your sense of self, decisionmaking skills, emotional regulation, and ability to cope with shock.

Like without the way he was raised, he would simply not be the same person. Chronic childhood trauma becomes your sense of self when you experience it because your sense of self was forming when you were put through all of that. Its baked into your bones and how your brain is wired.

A Sephiroth who was raised in a loving family that wasnt medically violated or stuck in a lab or trained as a child soldier and set loose in war and put up as a carefully cultivated symbol would simply be unrecognizable. He would not act the same, he would not have the same preferences, he would not have the same insecurities or instability. He wouldnt be recognizably Sephiroth- not just because no cat eyes and white hair.

Because to be Sephiroth, he has to be incredibly traumatized by default.

Im not saying that his trauma of all the characters was the Most Awful and therefore he blew up the worst or w/e, but more that this multilayered complex trauma left Sephiroth unable to healthily cope with all the events piled on him during the events of Crisis Core.

I think the factor of how childhood trauma and continued abuse completely shapes how you respond to things as an adult is often lost in the discourse when people try to detangle Sephiroth's actions, so thank you for pointing that out.

Another thing, when talking about how Sephiroth's power is unmatched, is the Jenova cells in him (and how he later became one with Jenova) The only thing that took down Jenova was the Cetra because it/she was that powerful. So while he wasn't destined to break down, you have to admit that something was waiting to happen given what Jenova was.

[throwing-in-the-towel]

I don’t wanna speculate too hard because frankly it’s no one’s business but I think Brody might be out just cause he’s exhausted-on Melody’s live she said he was in Alaska or something and honestly he did a show the night he got back (I think at least-I don’t keep up w/this much ) and also if he did a show yesterday after CD signings and a show on Wednesday that not a lot of time to recover from jet lag. So I honestly just think he’s tired. Props to him for listening to his body tho.

Brent apparently put his dog down today-I feel awful for him. Hope he’s doing well at least. (You don’t have to post this if you don’t want-I dunno if it crosses any boundaries and I’m SO sorry if it does-honestly just speculation, though it’s not something I wish to really delve into due to it being nobody’s business but the actors. But a lot of people get upset when Brody isn’t there and if he doesn’t have a record with missing evening performances I just figured it could be a reason.

I was at the show tonight-Trevor did SO incredible and Dan gave me SHIVERS-but people were uber upset Brody wasn’t there and it was kinda sad to see them be upset as if it’s Trevis fault. Grown woman next to me was on the brink of tears over it I believe-while I was a tad disappointed I was BLOWN AWAY by Trevi. He seriously did incredible. Again, no need to post this if it isn’t in your comfort zone and if it isn’t I’m so sorry for violating any boundaries-just figured I’d add in for people who may have been upset with the outcome.

yeah, i expect brent to continue being out for the week since he has been thus far. feel for his family right now <3

and as for brody, i often post about how he takes off to take care of himself, so it’s not a surprise to me when he’s absent. i absolutely adore trevor as pony so i always love to see him!

interesting u mention a lady almost crying…i recently posted a story about how a grown woman was crying over jason being absent in may. people need to control themselves and reactions like that in public. i’ve also talked about how trevor himself has told me he feels bad when he’s on for brody b/c he knows the audience is upset. breaks my heart!!! glad to hear you enjoyed dan as well, he’s phenomenal as darrel!

[balkanradfem]

I started reading the book 'Pests' by Bethany Brookshire. I thought it would be a book filled with information on how to protect your garden without causing any harm to animals. I could not have been more wrong, but soon it didn't matter, because I was drawn in immediately. This book is written by a brilliant scientist, who presents to you, the history, the data, the results and the cultural context of pests all around the world. It starts with squirrels, but then goes on to talk about pythons, pigeons, cats, rats, mice, frogs, coyotes, wolves, elephants, dogs, raccoons, deer, bears – and how they've been seen as a pest, most often for no fault of their own.

I learned about the numerous ways people in the past have created a 'pest' problem for themselves, and how they went on resolving it, and honestly I was shocked  at the most of it. I did not know that human scientists developed specific plagues for animals in order to get rid of them. I also had no idea how quickly humans turned the perception of a certain animal from 'useful' to 'pest', without even realizing they're responsible for the behaviour of the animal in the first place. Also the number of times humans have attempted to introduce a predator in order to get rid of an invasive species – only to immediately cause a new invasive species, absolutely incredible.

I was surprised to find out that some specific animals could be pests at all, for example, elephants. Absorbing the information presented to me thus far, I thought elephants were nothing short of wonderful and welcome in anyone's life – but, the story describes them eating the entire fields worth of grain, in only one night. And due to their size, they're unstoppable. They've destroyed houses, and even killed people, as a result of trying to get to the food. The elephants are a protected species, so the locals have been forced to develop different way of co-existing, namely, to stop growing grain and try to find different ways of survival and sustenance. There have been numerous other attempts to protect the fields from them, but how would you protect anything from an elephant? The only thing they're scared of, are bees. And if there's food to be gained, they'll overcome the fear of the bees too.

Did you know that if mice multiply too much, they'll have a mice plague that will wipe them out, without human interference?  Mice and rats are described as the animals closest to us – because they live where we live, eat what we eat, and learn whatever it takes to find their way in the land of humans. And it seems, we have the same problems as well.

One of my favourite little piece of knowledge in this book: the scientists studying the snakes in a lab name the snakes after Slytherins – so they have Snape, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Bellatrix. It was amazing to listen about Snape the snake.

The author of this book is incredibly unbiased, and shows her love for every animal mentioned, but also understanding and compassion for people who have felt wronged, violated, helpless and cornered by the animal, and how awful it feels to not be able to protect their homes and livelihoods from an animal invading their territory. In author's mind, the animals are not at fault, because all they've been trying to do is survive, get to the source of food, for them this is foraging. For us, it's nature taking from us what we intended for ourselves.

The problem of seeing animals as pests, comes often from the perception of us being the dominating species, and having the right to remove or introduce or change animals, by how convenient and pleasing we find them. She sourced the problems from negative experiences, loss, violation and danger, but also from culture, colonialism, religion, behaviours of the people around us. Most children have no concept of danger or pests – babies in a study would reach out curiously seeing a picture of snake. Perception of which animal is good and which one is bad, comes with culture, experience and the behaviour of everyone else around it. And our collective perception comes from whether the animal is rare, whether it lives close to us, if we have to adjust our lives because of it or not, if we have had negative experiences or not, whether it can hurt us, whether we have something the animal wants (food) and tries to get from us.

I recommend this book to anyone who'd like to know more about the history of humans trying to live alongside – or refusing to live alongside certain animals. And anyone dealing with any kind of pest, or just not understanding why animals act the way they do around humans.

I come out from reading this, feeling no more wise on how to keep the pests out – except for, don't leave the food outside the house where animals can get to it, that's the #1 reason for most scenarios – but feeling way more understanding and at ease about animals that are perceived as pests. I know solutions  that have been tried to deal with them, I know what didn't work, and I know how badly some collective solutions can become. I understand we need to find a way to live with them as our neighbours, not enemies, not violators of our property. And most often, just being responsible about where you leave your food, how much animals you tempt to come close to you, how you reward them for interacting with you, is more than a half of the solution.

[isaactheterrible]

TF2 Mercs Yandere Version

Trigger Warning: Violence, Abusive Behavior, Stalking

(Disclaimer: This is based on the TF2 comics and the personalities of the mercs in them, this is what I kind yandere I personally think the mercs would be. Gender neutral reader)

1.Medic

-Obssessive medical yandere

-100% will kidnap you

-Will probably spend years studying you

-Vivisecting you, dismembering you, pulling you apart and putting you back together, learning everything about you

-You're his special interest he loves spending hours studying and memorizing everything there is to know about you

-Probably the most awful and dangerous out of all them, has no regard for your feelings or safety after all if you die he can just put you back together

2.Scout

-Delusional yandere

-He knows the two of you are meant to be and hey! You are probably already together, you're just taking things slow that's all he's sure of it

-Buys little items that remind him of you such as the same shampoo as you

-Obsessed with chivalry, keeps insisting that he pay for you despite him not always having the funds to do so, insists you wear his jacket even if he's freezing his balls off ect

-Gets jealous easily due to how insecure he is

-He keeps acting like the two of you are dating but won't cross your physical boundaries

-Would never hurt you physically but he will completely break down if you get with someone else

-Takes him days to get out of his depression room, he has convinced himself you'll choose him eventually

-Not that dangerous, at most he'll get into a fistfight with your S/O in a Wendy's parking lot

3.Demoman

-Two-faced yandere

-He fell for you the moment he saw you, he just knew you were the one

-Tries to befriend you at first but almost immediately introduces you to his mother, the two of you need to get along otherwise it's a deal breaker

-If you passed the test he's already planning your wedding and future

-He does his best to clean up his act and be the ideal image of the perfect man and future husband to you

-He doesn't steal from you or violate your boundaries but he will solve any "problems" that might get between you too

-He will kill anyone that threatens your perfect life, serial killer on the side

-He trust you because he loves you but it's best that you never betray that trust

-Not that dangerous for you but extremely dangerous to everyone around you

4.Heavy

-Overly protective yandere

-He will kidnap you and force you to live in a cold cabin in Siberia in the middle of nowhere

-For your own good of course, he has tons of enemies and he needs to keep you safe, the world can't know of your existence

-You could try to run but there's nowhere to go, nothing but cold and snow for kilometers around

-You are stuck there essentially forever cause he doesn't believe you can actually protect yourself without him

-Incredibly boring, all that exists is cold and books and we'll him

-You are slowly going insane in the place

-Very dangerous yandere, he won't kill you but you'll end up chained for years potentially if you try to leave, why can't you just understand he wants to protect you?

5.Pyro

-Codepended Nightmare

-You will never be alone again, clingiest MF

-Good thing is that they don't need that much attention, just being around you and maybe napping on your shoulder is enough

-You're one of the only things that bring them joy

-Will draw you a lot and give you lots of little trinkets and gifts

-If you force them to go in a different room they'll sit outside the door waiting for you

-Not that jealous or possessive will be happy to have other people around

-Might hurt you out of pain and anger if you try to leave

-Pretty dangerous to both you and your safety

6.Engineer

-Possessive Yandere

-He has strong abandonment uses and is convinced you'll leave him for someone else if you ever get that chance

-Will isolate you and sabotage your relationships, at first from anyone he sees as competition and then everyone else as well

-He doesn't do it from a place of wanting to own you but from a place of insecurity

-Might kidnap you if you try to leave but only as a last resort, he really doesn't want to hurt you but he'd rather do it than be alone again

-Very dangerous mostly cause he prioritizes his desire for companionship over your right to freedom

7.Soldier

-Absolute nutcase and menace to society

-He fell in love with you, congratulations you're technically married now!

-You are pretty much stuck with him, you two are joined at the hip with him ranting about whatever to you

-Would do ANYTHING for you, except leave you alone of course

-Not at all jealous and pretty chill about your obvious discomfort and escape attempts

-He can't and won't listen to reason, he's too far gone

-Not particularly pushy but very volatile

-That being said he's still incredibly dangerous

8.Spy

-Controlling ass mf

-On the positive side you will be showered in gifts and luxuries

-On the negative side you get to choose pretty much nothing about your life

-You have an image to maintain so your friends, your clothing, your food, the places you go to are all completely out of your control

-You will probably quickly lose your sanity and if you do you will be shipped off to the highest quality glorified re-education mental hospital

-The doctors aren't here to help you their here to make you more obedient

-Run away as far as you can but he'll always find you, he's a danger to you and all your loved ones, willing to destroy you if it means controlling you

9.Sniper

-Stalker

-Has entire folders and USB sticks dedicated to you

-Knows your social security number by heart, your current location, your address, your friends, any dangerous people in your area, EVERYTHING

-Watches from afar helping here and there like a guardian angel

-Has put cameras and voice recording devices in your house

-He doesn't collect memorabilia such as t-shirts or other forgotten items

-He does take a lot of pictures and his room is a bit of a messy shrine to you

-Absolutely shook if you approach him first, it's just too much for him he's experiencing too much emotion and might hide away out of embarrassment

-Not that dangerous as he has no interest in intervening with your life unless it's about your safety

[glitterdustcyclops]

okay it's nearly one in the morning and i can't sleep because i'm thinking too much about astarion so permit me to ramble for a moment (you actually have no choice)

but just

ugh

the more and more i play the game and experience all the different facets of the conversations you can have with him (and also ruthlessly spoil myself on his arc both ascended and not because i'm impatient lmao) the more i am just, completely in awe of the depth and care that went into writing him??

like, okay, cards on the table, i have a pretty major vampire kink, biting kink, blood kink, etc. and from the first moment i heard there was a romanceable character in a fantasy rpg that was a flirtatious queer vampire pretty boy with a Traumatic Backstory and a twisted master/slave relationship with an Evil Dude i was immediately like 👀👀👀

could not draft the marriage proposal fast enough, you know?

and larian could've just stuck with that! they could've had him be an incorrigible flirt, and have his whole arc focused on getting revenge against the horrid man what wronged him, and by helping him on his quest you earn his love and you two ride off into the sunset, happy forever

but no. instead we got something so much more, and it's entirely fascinating to me. all of his layers and contradictions!! the different masks he wears on top of each other, and all his pain and trauma barely simmering under the surface of his pretty polished façade.

and not only do we go ahead and take this man whomst on the surface appears to be a walking vampire erotica trope in a gorgeous package, but we pull off the reveal (and depending on how you play it this can happen almost immediately after you express interest in him) that this whole thing, is a very blatant, deliberate act. one cultivated by a sexual abuse survivor, as a way to protect himself from the things that scare him, that make him vulnerable.

he straight up tells you to your face that this is a lie!! this all pretend!!! you're supposed to fall for it, he wants you to. what he does not want, what he could never predict, not in centuries, is that you would see past his mask(s), and then go ahead and love him anyway. him. the real him, the one he barely knows himself, the flashes he reveals to you accidentally in small moments, as much as he doesn't want to: all those messy cruel capricious terribly horribly wonderfully real parts of himself, and how he wants to be real with you in turn, even though it scares the absolute bejeezus out of him

and THEN!!!! the further you go in his romance, the more you realize that this walking series of pickup lines, this supposed master seducer, is actually incredibly wary of sex because of all the trauma and pain it's caused him. sex is not something he associates with true joy or pleasure or even intimacy, not anymore; the ability to feel good about his body was taken from him. the game makes it explicit that, as a man who was robbed of his agency and his ability to meaningfully consent to sex, not only is it the objectively wrong decision but it is downright evil to force him into doing anything sexual with you, even though you're his True Love or whatever, and as he learns and grows and feels more secure in himself he will straight up dump your ass if you violate his boundaries around sex!!!

and instead of flirt-flirt-flirt-true-love-forever you get all these really sweet, tender moments of nonsexual intimacy, hand holding and hugs and just, honest sweet conversations? you can even tell him "hey i don't think it's good for us to be serious right now, but i still want to be your friend." and even if you do keep romancing him, you can reassure him that you don't hold his lack of interest in sex against him, you still want to be with him just as he is!! he is worth it to you, with his ten-piece designer set of luxury baggage. and he practically melts about it!!

and this is not even getting into everything post cazador quest, i haven't even gotten to those scenes yet except for the "evil" version (trying not to ruin it for myself haha) but the way his arc ends in the "good" version where you talk him out of doing the ritual, out of perpetuating the cycle of abuse that was forced on him, and instead show him a better way forward? and he experiences true actual freedom for the first time in centuries, and he hesitantly decides that he wants to keep going forward with you??

UGH!! i just, i care about astarion so much!!!! i am absolutely head-over-heels-stupid in love with him and the way he's written and i will never fucking get over it, oh my god, help me, i'm DYING

[greenerteacups]

OK I’ll bite…. can you expand more on the obliviation as murder idea from a recent post?

And do you think it’s realistic that Hermione thought she could reverse it and restore memories after the war?

Okay, basically, I think a person's memories compose an incredible volume of their personality and general 'personhood' (if, simplistically, personhood = action + reason + feeling) to the extent that removing them is a cardinally unforgivable violation at best and straight-up killing at worst. We don't really have an analogy for this kind of wrong in the real world except drugging someone, i.e. taking away their autonomy and senses for a period of time — except obliviation is worse, because you're retroactively doing that for whole swaths of their life, plus you're influencing all their future decisions, because they don't know what they actually would have wanted. Once you're exercising control over someone's literal thoughts — which is what you're doing, if you Obliviate them, you're forcing them to think things that aren't true, or forget things that are — there's basically no way to avoid dominating them on a level real-world normal humans would consider unforgivable.

I have a lot of Thoughts about the ethics of mind magic in any scenario, from love potions to legilimency to veritaserum, but what I find most striking about Hermione is that she views her parents' Obliviation mostly as a loss to herself. That's a fascinating insight into how the books treat mind magic, because you could say, on the one hand; yeah, the Grangers are happy; they're off in Australia, and they're safe from an awful war. Objectively, they are safer there than they would be in a life with Hermione in it. But on the other hand, you could also say: No, the Grangers don't exist anymore. The Wilkins do. You turned your parents into people so radically different that they would not recognize their own daughter, a defining feature of their life for the past 18 years. Whoever they are, they no longer want to live in the city they've resided in for two decades, if not longer. And hey, fuck all of their friends and loved ones, right? Who cares if they get to see their friends from work ever again? Or your aunts and cousins? Grandparents? Gone. That is a death, for all those people. And if I was faced with the choice to get what happens to the Grangers, I'd consider it as someone killing me, too.

I'm astonished that Hermione is capable of a charm that does that, especially since a lot of magic in HP seems to work on the basis of "meaning it." (Intention, admittedly, is broadly understood; Harry is able to perform Sectumsempra without knowing exactly what it does, just that it's bad news bears for the other guy). It is, in my opinion, by far the worst thing Hermione ever does, and it's jarringly outside her moral event horizon — which is itself probably the broadest envelope of any light-sider in the books. Can she reverse it? I mean, maybe! There aren't hard rules to the magic system in Harry Potter, and nothing about Obliviate suggests she's wrong in the assertion she could reverse it. It's Hermione; I'd bet she did her research. (I'm also interested by a different interpretation of your question, which is "is Hermione lying to herself about this, on some level," and/or "is she lying to Harry," both of which are very tasty for headcanon purposes but ultimately strike me as unlikely based on the portrait Book 7 paints of Hermione, which with the exception of this one insane jaw-drop moment is fairly wholesome.)

So yeah, she might be able to reverse it. But I have no idea what she expects to happen afterward.

[musette22]

Hi Minnie, hope you’re doing well honey! I’m wondering if you have any thoughts or advice on something. I think you approach fandom in a somewhat different way to me, so you might not find yourself in the situation I’m in. But I’d appreciate whatever thoughts you have.

I’m currently in the middle of a huge shipping war (embarrassing but true) in another fandom, and it’s really stressful (similar to when it was Stucky shippers vs…well there have been a few rival ships). I have the vast majority of the ‘other side’ blocked and tags blacklisted etc, but stuff still leaks through, and some create burner blogs to harass and taunt us (staff does little to nothing about it).

Another problem is, their ship is currently “winning" in canon. Like, big-time. So it’s really frustrating to see that largely mean-spirited, nasty people are getting their way (I’m sure there are some nice ones but I don’t think they’re the majority), in addition to knowing that stuff I really don’t want to be happening is happening. It’s very hard to deal with the frustration. And there’s no telling how long this stuff might go on for.

I guess I’m just wondering what you’d do in this situation. I’m tempted to drop out of the fandom completely, but I’ve been a part of it for awhile and it would be hard to give up. I could take a break, but I’m pessimistic that anything will be better in 3 or 6 months or however long.

Thanks for any thoughts you have on this!

Hello my love! Thanks so much for your message 💗

I'm genuinely so, so sorry to hear about the situation you're finding yourself in, that sounds awful and incredibly draining. And that's just such a shame, because that's the opposite of what the fandom experience should be bringing us!

I haven't been in the exact same boat as you, but I think I've had experiences that were close enough to understand a bit about how you're feeling. It's just so tricky, because while taking a step back or leaving this fandom altogether would probably be the most straightforward solution, you obviously still love your ship and presumably also the good parts of the fandom your in, the bits that actually make you really happy. So by leaving the fandom, you wouldn't only be leaving behind the bad stuff, but the good stuff too. So yeah, I really hope you'll find a way around this which will allow you to somehow stay in your current fandom and also actually enjoy it.

It's such a shame that people can't just ship and let ship. I'll never understand why anyone would try to deliberately hurt or taunt other people who are just trying to enjoy their favourite pairings, and although I understand how easy it is to get caught up in it even if you don't want to be, shipping wars an sich are just about the dumbest thing ever to me. Completely pointless, imo. But yeah, once you find yourself in the middle of something like that, it can be really hard to extract yourself from it.

I think the fact that new content is still being made for your fandom, and that canon is not going the way you'd hoped, definitely complicates matters. When Endgame happened, and everything after that (including TFATWS), I also really struggled to continue enjoying being in the Stucky fandom for a while. And that was even without being harassed anybody (at least, not in any significant way). I remember feeling really upset for quite a while, mostly about how there were things happening to my beloved characters that I did not want to happen and felt like a violation of my happy place. Really the only thing that got me through were all the wonderful people who felt the same way I did, friends I could vent to, mutuals who continued fighting the good fight (and I don't mean actually fighting with anyone, just like, making beautiful fannish creations for Stucky), as well as the hope that the storm would down again at some point. And fortunately for me, it did. And without being constantly confronted with things that made me upset, and by creating some clear boundaries for myself, I was fortunately able to continue to enjoy being in this fandom.

I can't deny that the upcoming Thunderbolts movie is making me a little nervous, because I know that new Bucky content is bound to stir up a lot of that old agitation again. But the fact that I have consciously decided not to engage with any new Marvel content after EG, and that for me, Bucky's canon story ended in Wakanda with Steve, definitely makes it easier to deal with. To me, post-Wakanda canon is irrelevant. There is plenty of canon for me to draw on for the Stucky that I love, but mostly, *my* Stucky is a product of fanon anyway (that is, the version of Stucky created by fandom). So even when there is new Bucky content in the future, it just isn't part of my narrative for them, and for the most part, I can just ignore it and keep doing my own thing. So that's really what I would advise you to do too - try and delineate 'your' canon, your ship, as clearly as you can, and ignore everything that doesn't fit inside those boundaries to the best of your ability. It took some time and practice for me, but it did eventually become easier, and it really did make a difference.

So, I don't know if I have any actually helpful advice for you, lovely, because it sounds like you're already doing everything you can to make a bad situation work. But I would say, just keep blocking, keep blacklisting, never ever rise to the bait if anybody tries to antagonise you in any way (that one is REALLY important, I've found. People will eventually get bored of taunting you if they don't get a reaction).

Focus on the people you like and trust and who feel the same way you do, try not to dwell on negativity and try and focus instead on enjoying your ship in fanon, if canon isn't cooperating. Read and write all the fics, post headcanons, make edits and art for your ship, keep it alive - and do it for yourself and people like you, and not to spite anyone else. In the end, it's all fiction, and the fact that canon started it all doesn't mean you have to stick with it. This ship is yours now, and you can do with it what you like. And the most important thing you can do is enjoy it and let it bring you joy and comfort.

And it's possible that it won't be for a while, because I don't know how much new content will be made for this ship in the future, but eventually, the commotion is bound to die down. If you think you'll be able to keep going in your own, carefully curated bubble until then, then that's amazing. But if you think it's only going to keep making you miserable, then it's probably best to step away, at least for a while, however painful it may be. Mental health and personal happiness have to come first, always, otherwise what's the point of fandom?

I'm sorry I can't be of any more help, honey, I wish I could do more! But I genuinely hope you'll be able to make it work, and that your ship can continue making you happy for a long time to come. Sending lots of love and strength your way! ❤️