#the return of Tuco

[huesos-sangrientos]

[etwlemons]

Me and @cigarette-room got to thinking tougher and figured they should find a random baby in a bush and go trough an ice age moment ^^

[mrzombielover]

Hi could you please write some relationship headcanons for Tuco Salamanca? Both sfw and nsfw please :)

ohmy goshh anon u are wild for this tuco scaresssss me 😭

NSFW warning, toxic relationships, lotta drug use, canon typical violence (it’s tuco what do we expect)

SFW

When Tuco likes someone, he is all in. He is so obsessive and expects you to be 10000% loyal and devoted to him

He’s impulsive and spontaneous, will randomly insist on taking you on drives/trips at 3AM, especially when he’s high

fantasizes about taking you away to live on a ranch in mexico. if you don’t speak spanish, you’ll learn, no worries

reallyyyy wants a family. would go feral if he saw you interacting with his family- taking care of his grandparents, playing with his younger nieces/nephews- it makes him weak in the knees

likes to keep his work and domestic life separate. goes to great lengths to hide the ugly side of his work with you

of course, you know, but you’ll never have to see or meet anyone from his work if he can help it. you’ll never have to clean blood from his shirt or a carpet, he’ll take care of it.

fantasizes about protecting you 24/7. sleeps with a gun on the beside table just in case- and he’s never had to use it, but if it ever does he’s so prepared.

he knows the world is full of men who’d hurt you. who’d harass you, traffic you, drug you. he imagines himself taking care of it. shooting, strangling, breaking the bones of any scumbags who’d come near you.

on that note he is extremely jealous and possessive!!!

and you know he’s not all talk, either. would prefer if you didn’t witness it, but he’d happily violently take care of any guy who made you even remotely uncomfortable

has some lowkey stalker tendencies. not that he doesn’t trust you, just that he knows that being with him puts a target on your head. likes to tail you, it’s his idea of keeping you safe from a distance. plus, it’s kind of nice to see you naturally, whether you’re shopping or getting food or running- you just look so cute

has a surprising sweet side. yeah, he’ll manipulate and guilt trip and snap at you sometimes, but you gotta know he doesn’t mean it. when he wants to, he can totally spoil you. loves to throw his money at you, and see the look on your face when he buys you something you’ve really been wanting.

likes when you have to rely on him. it’s a bit twisted, but if you’re really drunk or high, or sick and weak, he’s happy to take care of you.

“aww, shh, chiquitita, it’s okay, i’ll take care of you, don’t worry your pretty head about it,”

NSFW

Insanely high sex drive. you can barely keep up! his hands are on you every chance he gets

loooooves high sex. would much prefer if you use, too, but it’s not vital. when he’s already on cloud fucking 9, adrenaline coursing through his veins, all he wants is you. to inhale your intoxicating scent as he pounds into you from behind.

so into rough sex. of course, he would never hurt you! but takes pride in the deep bruises left by his hands, the hickeys on your neck, bite marks on your collarbones, etc

could never be submissive i think. but he enjoys a struggle for power, he likes someone that can throw his energy back in his face, it keeps it interesting

remember when i said he really wants a family?? you guessed it he has a humongous breeding kink! doesn’t like cumming anywhere except inside you. then he pats your head and kisses your forehead and tells you you’ll be a wonderful parent

likes body worship, both ways. he knows he’s not going to heaven, but seeing you on your knees, begging for him comes pretty close. he always returns the favor, of course, his abuela taught him to be a gentleman

also very into overstimulation. partly stems from his insanely high sex drive. he just loves making you come completely undone for him, until your brain doesn’t work anymore and your legs are jello and you’re crying. he’ll lick your tears off your cheeks and tell you “just one more, i know you can do it,”

gives surpassingly good aftercare if he has the time. unless he had to make do with a quickie, sex with him lasts a looong time, and you’re both completely spent by the end. he likes to take baths after, he’ll massage your sore skin and tells you what a good job you did for him and how sweet you are

has this ultimate fantasy of fucking you while covered in the blood and brains of some inferior asshole who tried to hurt you in some way. he’ll show you how safe you are with him

[genocidehim]

Bien llegao (Lalo Salamanca x waitress!Reader)

The owner's daughter of Michoacano seems to be used to dangerous men entering the restaurant, however, the presence of the new Salamanca managed to change her opinion.

notes: one-shot, use of pronouns she/her, the reader has mexican descent words: 1243.

Mornings at Michoacano used to not be too stressful. Your father was quite permissive, and your schedules could adapt to any of your needs depending on the day. It was one of the advantages of the place being infrequently visited.

You weren't foolish, you knew perfectly well that the lack of customers in the restaurant was due to its reputation of being frequented by dangerous people. It wasn't something that was known, but it was an open secret, something that everyone sensed when they saw more than five Chicano with unfriendly faces walking in. Fortunately, that didn't mean danger for you and your parents, because you always knew that Hector Salamanca would look after your safety, especially when he was using your father's place to conduct his business.

But things had changed a bit after Don Hector's illness. Now, you didn't hang out much with the Salamancas anymore, Tuco had gone to prison, and you never saw the twins there again. It was only Domingo and Ignacio who still used the place every week, so you could still feel some security in that small restaurant.

It was a Thursday morning when your father asked if you could give him a hand in the kitchen. There were more customers than usual that day, and he needed someone who could serve and attend to them, even though he could normally do it all by himself. You got ready in comfortable and fresh clothes; you knew perfectly well that the heat inside the restaurant could be too much at times, and you preferred to avoid spending the whole day wiping sweat off your forehead.

When you arrived at the place, everything seemed normal. You could hear the voices of some customers and your father in the kitchen at the back. Domingo was also there, the only one who seemed to be contemporary with you and with whom you could talk more confidently.

"Buenos días, Domingo! You woke up early today," you said with your good Mexican accent, something that you still carried despite having lived in the United States for many years.

"Good morning, today there's a lot of work, isn't there?" replied the young brunette. You could tell that his attitude had changed to something more jovial and confident, nothing like his scared attitude when he was with Nacho.

"Yes, finally! This place could use some movement."

Although you wanted to continue the small conversation, you heard your father calling you from behind with a stern voice. You quickly went to the kitchen behind the counter and listened carefully to his instructions: Chilaquiles for table 2, Enchiladas for table 1, and pozole for table 3. You nodded as you went to get your apron that would serve as a uniform, and while tying it around your waist, you continued to repeat the order of the dishes quietly.

Once ready, you returned to the kitchen and took two plates that would go directly to tables 2 and 3 while waiting for the next order to be ready. After about half an hour, you received the call once again from your father, and you knew that the food was ready. As you went to the place to pick up the plate, you heard the front door closing with some force, which angered you a little because it was something you had already warned those men from Salamanca about. They were allowed to use the restaurant for their businesses, but they had to be careful with the place.

Still with the plate in hand, you returned to the main area of the restaurant and took the last plate to the table, stopping instantly to scold the man who had just entered.

"Don't slam the door! Handle it with care," you scolded in a stern and somewhat angry tone to a man you hadn't properly observed yet.

He was a man slightly taller than you, and from his tanned skin and facial features, you could guess he was some South American or even a chicano. The Americans in this place usually don't look that... cálidos.

You noticed that he was a man in his forties due to his gray hair and the curious gray line that covered one of the main locks on his head. You almost trembled when this man looked at you and smiled.

"Excuse me, miss" his accent confirmed your deductions, but the tone of his voice was almost surprising.

Although you tried to keep yourself busy with your work, you couldn't help but pay more attention to him than you should have. Now this man was saying some words in spanish and was inviting the customers who were still there to leave the place with the excuse that "the restaurant would be closed for the rest of the afternoon." Although you wanted to protest and ask him why he was taking the liberty of giving orders in your restaurant, you saw your father in the distance with a look of terror as he seemed to try to tell you not to open your mouth, or that's what you understood by reading his lips.

When your gaze landed on Domingo, you knew it was something to be afraid of. On the other side of the restaurant, you heard your father cordially greeting the man he called "Mr. Salamanca."

A shiver ran down your spine as you realized you had just scolded and shouted at a Salamanca, the type of man who should not be questioned. Now you seemed to have seen a ghost, so pale that even your limbs felt cold. The man who had just entered stopped your father and gave him orders to stay out of the kitchen while he prepared himself a "almuercito" (lunch). You almost wanted to say something about it, but your father's stern look stopped you in your tracks.

From where you stood, you could see this man named Salamanca approaching you with a broad smile on his face that you were unable to imitate, you were too anxious to look pleasant. "Is she your daughter?" the gray-haired man asked your father as he pointed to you with his thumb. "Yes, she works as a waitress," your father said somewhat nervously. "Que lindura! A family business" he said, turning back to you and giving you a quick glance. His eyes seemed to be two deep lakes that you would be afraid to drown in if you looked at them for too long. "I'm sorry, corazón, but I'll take this for a few minutes. You take a break."

Before you could utter a single word, you saw this man bring his hands behind your back and felt him untie the knot of the apron you were wearing, taking it off you just so he could put it on. If his arrogant attitude wasn't enough to unsettle your nerves, his hands were capable of making you tremble, something he noticed. "I'm Eduardo, but you can call me Lalo" he introduced himself in a jovial manner as he tied the apron around his waist. "Do you want something to eat, reinita? I'll make some chilaquiles."

"No, estoy bien" were the second words you said after the scream a few minutes ago. Now your voice was much lower and less demanding, something that made him laugh. "Believe me, I'll make you such a good lunch that you'll die for it." Would he be able to do that…?

Sorry if this was too long or badly written😩😩 english is not my first language!!

[ratt-rat]

Nacho looking kinda surprised when Mike fairly gives him back the 25k for the Tuco problem returning faster 🥺

and he seems worried about Mike (or both of them) when he meets with Hector aghh Mike goes a long way not to pull the trigger so that marks him as someone with a proper soul in their area of business and probably that's why Nachito cares + Mike is so fair and nice to him which by the looks of it is a rare occurance

totally signs the adoption paper at this point

[pinalamanca]

Tuco x Nacho Head canon:

"I was good to him! I was good!"

"it's going to be like a lesson to myself! You never, never trust the people that you love!"

What if Ignacio Varga met Tuco when they were teenagers, becoming friends following a fight or something? But in a secret, rebellious act against his uncle, Tuco slowly becomes partners with Nacho. In more ways than one.

And what if there was actually a point in time back then, before Tuco Salamanca got into Crank and Meth, that Nacho returned these feelings? Nacho slowly watches his friend turn into pretty much a monster, with little help or concern from the man's family and Abuelita.

When Mike asks Nacho about the hit in 'Gloves Off', Ignacio Varga seems very conflicted but already resigned to the fact to take Tuco out. However he can. This is why he is so ready to switch over to the plan about putting Tuco in prison. In their business, Nacho believed up until that point that that was the only solution?

Nacho spent years working with Tuco, maybe even a near decade. He is the shoulder for the Salamanca to come to when things get tough. The one who Tuco can trust with the matters of his life.

And for Nacho to see a man who is maybe his first, crumble to addiction and to Hector Salamancas plans and circumstances. Family pressures. While Tuco grows crueler himself as he becomes sicker. Unable to truly be honest about a part of himself. Maybe this is why partly Nacho shows such disdain for the rest of the Salamancas later? They left Tuco and him to rot. No one to handle things.

What if in the first quote, Tuco is also referring to Nacho, other than Gonzo?

How he had given him everything? And had still been stabbed in the back by the man? The man that Tuco loves?

Maybe this is why he shows such contempt for Jesse, he is taking his pent up feelings about Nacho out on him. Jesse, who is a handsome younger man about Nacho and Tuco's age when theyd started. Somewhat childish, a joker. Possibly like how Nacho could have been? But Jesse is also grating to Tuco's comparison of Nacho, whom had been molded into who we see in Better Call Saul over years.

And in Better Call Saul, as Nacho's days approach the uncertain end of Tuco's jail time. Nacho heard through Hector that he'd gotten a lighter sentence for Mike. As well as Tuco's eventual release. Nacho grows uncomfortable and solemn. Depressed. His plans are not going the way he thought. Nacho knows it isnt going to last, his freedom and what there is left of it. Sooner or later, Tuco will get out and be on the lookout for who put him in. Nacho knows this very well. The clock is ticking. So, he decides to seize the day. Planning to escape to possibly Manitoba l? (At one point in the series, we see Nacho's picture on a Manitoba Drivers license.)

[asgardianangel]

Little Mouse- Lalo Salamanca x Short! GN reader dabble

Warnings: Age gap, kissing, teasing, pet names, implied smut, possessiveness, height difference (I imagine the reader is 5' and Lalo is 6'2)

"I still can’t get over how tiny you are dios mio (my God)” Lalo chuckled causing you to huff in annoyance. You have been working with Lalo and Nacho for a month now and it was exhausting let alone dangerous. You were a simple dealer of the streets (like you have done for years) to earn more money for your folks. 

But one day you made your round to the diner where Nacho would check the amount you made. Business as usual. To stumble onto Lalo in charge instead of Tuco you were confused so Nacho explained the situation that he was in prison and his cousin Lalo had taken control of ‘business’. 

You didn’t know why but Lalo had also taken a liking to you that day. At first you were intimidated by yet another Salamanca but Lalo had this weird and playful charm about him. He was much easier to talk to then Tuco  

He had hired you to accompany him and Nacho on stakeouts and other duties while constantly making comments on your appearance. 

Especially your height. 

“Yeah, I get it I’m short Lalo” you replied to him counting money at the diner table. 

"Didn't think I would find someone shorter then Nachito" Lalo muses causing you and Nacho share a annoyed look.

“You heard a man by the name of Werner Ziegler?” he asked Nacho. 

“I only know two guys there” he denies. 

Lalo hummed in thought and then moved his feet from off the table pushing back his chair to get up. Too busy counting money in your head you didn’t acknowledge that Lalo was standing behind you. Until he patted your head like you were some sort of pet “do you mouse?” he asked. 

Mentally sighing you hated all the nicknames he made up for you but ‘mouse’ annoyed you more. “Never heard of the guy” you quietly replied Lalo hummed in response.  

“You are so quiet mouse” he comments watching you handle the money.   

“You hungry?” he then asks and you shake your head glancing up at him “I’ll save you some food” Lalo smiled.  

You couldn’t deny the fact you were attracted to him he was a very handsome guy after all. 

It was getting dark outside Lalo and Nacho were out somewhere and you took it upon yourself to help the diner owner clean up. You felt bad that his business was used for illegal matters because of Tuco.  

You struggle a bit trying to hang cooking pans up when you heard a familiar voice. 

“How adorable” Lalo awed you turned around to see him leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. Rolling your eyes, you tried your best to reach up.  

“Here let me help you mouse” he said grabbing the frying pan off you hanging it up. Lalo got up so close his frame towered over you like a giant. You expected him to move when he was finished with the pans. 

But he didn’t leaving you to feel very awkward. 

There was a moment of silence for you both while he stared down at you. 

“Where’s Nach-”  

Lalo suddenly wrapped both of his muscular arms around you making you squeak in surprise. You were about to ask what he was doing but his lips all of a sudden were on yours. He groaned when you kissed him back in return. 

“Oh, little mouse you taste so sweet” he hummed at you and then moved his strong big hands to your behind to pick you up. 

Lalo sat you upon the kitchen counter keeping your legs wrapped around his waist as his lips sucked the soft spot of your neck causing you to whine. The slight burn of his facial hair felt amazing as you moan his name holding onto to the older man's hair tight.  

“That’s it little mouse let me hear you” he encouraged sending vibrations into your neck you felt arousal build up as he fumbled with the belt of your pants. The heat his huge figure pressing up against yours was unbearable. You needed him. 

“Say that you are mine mouse” 

Note: Thought of this since I'm a short girly and I love me a tall man :D

Like, comment, reblog would be much appreciated

thanks!

[duckyduckposting]

Let’s talk about my girl Nadia real quick. I need y’all to know that I was not originally a Tuco girly but the brain rot is real and I would die for this ship

Nadia Salamanca is my main Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul OC, and wife of Tuco Salamanca.

Nadia was born and raised in Presidio, TX with her parents and brother Florencio, better known as Cio on a small cattle ranch.

She moved to Albuquerque in her late 20s to work at an animal rehab/rescue centre being run by a friend of her cousin. She had led a fairly sheltered life and was excited for the experiences of a big city and new people. When she arrived in Albuquerque she moved into a house across the street from Francisca Salamanca (Abuelita) who she quickly befriended. Abuelita introduced her to Tuco and started hinting that she thought they should get together from day one.

They became friendly and a few months later while he was over late at Abuelita’s house he happened to look out the window towards Nadia’s house and saw someone unfamiliar hopping the fence into her backyard. At that point he wasn’t really sure what she was to him, but she was /his/ and he certainly wasn’t going to stand for anyone messing with her. He went across the street and around the back of the house to see the back door open, the window on the door smashed in and heard a struggle going inside and Nadia screaming “Get off me!” Without a second thought he stormed in, ripped the intruder off of her and proceeded to beat the shit out of him, including using his head to put a hole in the drywall.

Once the intruder was unconscious he checked on Nadia. She wasn’t sure whether it was the way he grabbed her arms, the intensity in his eyes and voice when he asked if she was okay, or fact that he just beat a man half to death in her defence, but something about that moment altered her brain chemistry, and she was sure that this was the man she was meant to be with.

Nadia arrange to take her cat (Churro) and spend the rest of the night at her best friend Nadine’s house with Tuco assuring her he would take care of things. When she returned in the morning she was surprised to find everything had been cleaned up, the door and all the locks had been replaced, and someone was there repairing the drywall with Tuco there supervising. She tried to pay him but he refused, only asking her to promise to be careful in the future.

After that they saw each other almost every day for several weeks before they became official. She knew nothing about the Salamanca family reputation, but it didn’t phase her in the slightest when she found out.

Nadia is sweet, bubbly, and very friendly. She has a calm and steady nature. While her overall demeanour is much calmer and predictable than Tuco, it’s clear based on her relationship with him that something isn’t quite right with her either. As dysfunctional is it is though, they are both very happy together and wouldn’t change a thing. They got married just short of a year before the events of BCS.

Edit to add that when Nadia brought up the guy who broke into the house Tuco told her again not to worry, it was taken care of, and she just accepted that without further question

[caleblandrybones]

90s Lacho won’t leave me aloooone and it's your fault!!! Will there be another chapter to your fic btw?

If you live in a world where everything needs to be taken and kept by force, something freely given is exceedingly precious. Especially if you are not expected to give anything on return, but everything you give is treasured with abandon.

Lalo knew it was wrong as well as dangerous to let the boy get so close. He didn’t think Tuco would say anything, however, if Hector ever got wind of it the boy would not survive. But it was intoxicating the way his cielito offered himself up. The way he opened up and poured out his heart at Lalo's feet. He loved to listen to Lalo talk about his car, he loved the food he was offered, and he even seemed to love the way Lalo teased him. And he loved running his fingers through Lalo's thick dark hair, holding onto it while he was kissed breathless, he loved… he loved. With the recklessness and abundance of youth, with no regard for boundaries, with no thought of the future, with his whole being and the naive insistence that summers do last forever.

Lalo knew they don’t but for those precious moments he held his boy in his arms, reveled in the vigor of his youth by wringing pleasure out of him again and again and again he let himself believe, he let himself dream of a carefree future with that soft laugh in his ears and his big-eyed cariño by his side, openly displaying the abundance of his emotions with not a hint of falsehood.

Years later, passing the small hours in the Salamanca guest house, he warred with himself. The delicious youth that had haunted his dreams was gone forever, in his stead was a boulder of a man, stoic, quiet, efficient, and persistent. A much better match for the life Lalo inherited, but he could not help himself but mourn for the easy affection now lost forever. Their untread path was a bittersweet taunt while the world slept. It would not have worked, of course, he was a Salamanca after all but what if…

Okay, I feel better. I think I’m done now. Should I relapse I’ll let you know.

anon we are literally lying in the grass and our fingers are intertwined and as we gaze up at the stars we fall head first into our beautiful world. you absolutely get it dear god. intoxicating, destructive, young love, the kind that clutches at your throat

[seadem-on]

Blondie and Tuco from the Good the Bad and the Ugly (1966) - a ship manifesto

Hello reader. Picking up on the old fashioned habit of essay writing, I will write about my favorite ship, Blondie and Tuco from the seminal western The Good the Bad and the Ugly, and why you should ship them too. Warning: the essay contains spoilers from the film.

First, let’s look at who Tuco and Blondie are in a nutshell.

Tuco - played by Eli Wallach - is a Mexican bandit with a long rap sheet. He is the first character that is introduced in the Good the Bad and the Ugly - freeze frame of him jumping out of a broken window with a chicken leg and a bottle of wine in one hand and a gun in the other, the writing “the ugly” (il brutto in the Italian original dub) appearing on screen. His first appearance shows immediately the main traits of his personality: he is loud, messy, dangerous and can get out of a tough situation thanks to his gunslinger abilities. But he is not your usual bandit. Tuco is very lonely too. He looks for sympathy in his older brother, a priest who instead chastises him for his life choices. Tuco has no family and no one else to turn to. His main traits are also greed and violence. He seems fun and silly but he is quick to anger and when he wants something he is extremely determined and will go to great lengths to obtain it - as for example revenge against Blondie. Wanted in more than fifteen counties, he risks frequently punishment by hanging.

Blondie - played by Clint Eastwood - is the star of the film, a deft gunslinger and Tuco’s work partner. He is introduced shortly after Tuco - he shoots three bounty hunters to save him. They have an agreement where Blondie brings him to the sheriff and shoots the noose as Tuco is about to be hanged - splitting the bounty money between each other. Blondie is dubbed “his golden haired angel” - meaning he is always watching over Tuco. His personality is the exact opposite of Tuco’s: he is calm and collected as Tuco is fiery and emotional, speaks little, and schemes a lot. He is tall, blond and smokes a cigar. The writing “the good” (il buono) appears on screen ironically just after he leaves Tuco stranded in the desert when he starts demanding more money for their agreement.

Canon evidence why they work in a pair

Where do I begin? These two are obsessed with each other. They are constantly lying, backstabbing each other or saving each other’s lives. There are no inbetweens. First Blondie leaves Tuco in the desert with no money and no gun, breaking up their partnership - and Tuco starts tracking him down for revenge. Things get pretty heated - literally, as Tuco takes Blondie on a 60-miles-long trek through the desert without water to watch him slowly die. Until they meet with a dying soldier who reveals the location of a Confederate treasure - but he tells the location of the cemetery to Tuco and the name on the grave where the gold is buried to Blondie. Since then Tuco starts panicking to save Blondie’s life which is extremely worthy to him now. He brings Blondie to heal in the monastery where his brother Pablo lives. When Tuco meets Pablo again he understands that his parents are dead, and he has a fight with his brother who does not approve his sinning life choices. Tuco leaves the monastery with Blondie, and makes up a lie about his brother telling Blondie their relationship is wonderful and his brother never wants to let him go and has prepared a lot of food for him. Blondie has actually overheard the fight and is moved by Tuco’s pain, so he just goes along with the lie and offers him a cigar - saying “after a meal there is nothing like a good cigar”. Later they arrive at an Union prison camp where Tuco is tortured by Angel Eyes, a merciless mercenary, for information about the treasure. Meanwhile Blondie is outside with other prisoners, who tell him his friend is probably being beaten, and looks worried. He is offered freedom by Angel Eyes in return for his help with the quest for the gold - and he asks where Tuco is. As soon as they arrive in a war-thorn town being fled by its inhanitants, Blondie heard a gunshot and recognizes it’s Tuco. He leaves the gang of Angel Eyes to reunite with him. After trying to kill Angel Eyes and his henchmen they get back again on the road to look for the treasure. At some point they reveal each other’s half of the secret. When they get to the cemetery, Tuco runs ahead of Blondie and finds the grave. Angel Eyes gets to the cemetery too and Blondie reveals he lied to Tuco: that is not the right grave. Only Blondie knows the true location of the gold. So he establishes to write the name of the grave on a stone and that they will have a three way showdown to decide who will get to look at the said stone. Under the desert sun, in the middle of thousands of graves, the three ruthless men face each other in a battle that entails their lives. Blondie is as always cool and collected. Tuco is nervous, his eyes darting from Angel Eyes to Blondie. Angel Eyes is calculating when to shoot. In the end, with a swift coup de scene Tuco and Blondie both shoot Angel Eyes - but Tuco’s gun is empty, having Blondie taken care of it the night before. Blondie makes Tuco dig on the right grave and find the gold - which he splits in two. To exact his revenge he has Tuco hang himself on a cross. As he leaves, he takes aim and shoots the rope thereby saving Tuco - as he’s done a thousand times before.

Their relationship is that of rivals or frenemies - they are in a constant competition and when they are not they are having bonding moments and helping each other out.

As hardened and cold hearted as they want to seem, both have some degree of fondness for each other. Blondie is often smiling at Tuco or looking worried for him - Tuco trusts Blondie with his life, and seems to recognize him a a friend in the end. One of my favorite moments is when they are at the graveyard and when their enemy shows up and point a gun at Blondie Tuco starts being defensive, and later when Tuco is drawing the gun from his pocket Blondie stops in his tracks, ready to protect him from any danger. Their rivalry has an element of mutual respect and underlying trust that can be ultimately defined as friendship - the best one they can get being criminals. Most importantly, Blondie is properly defined as Tuco’s golden haired angel - meaning he is constantly looking to save him from trouble, and even in the end, when he could have easily killed him for revenge, he chooses not to.

Also they canonically have a lot of homoerotic moments. Here a few of them:

1. Blondie leaves cigar butts at campsites and Tuco sucks on them lovingly to track him down (I’m not kidding). This is parallaled by Blondie hearing a distant gunshot and identifying it immediately as Tuco.

2. There is this extremely sexy scene where Tuco forces Blondie to hang himself, tells him to take off his pistol belt and gives him directions on how to use the rope.

3. Blondie is barely clothed on a bed and Tuco touches lightly his lips.

4. Tuco is naked and Blondie talks to him while stroking a bedpost.

There are moments of bonding throughout the film too:

1. Tuco has a fight with his long lost brother and as he leaves the monastery with Blondie he tells a lie about their relationship being happy and his brother caring about him so much he has made him a lot of food. Blondie - who has been overhearing their fight - pretends he believes him and offers him a cigar “to help his digestion”.

2. They end up in the Union prison camp where Tuco is tortured. All the while Blondie looks emotionally distressed as another prisoner tells him that they are beating his friend.

3. Tuco is about to take on 5 gunslingers by himself when Blondie shows up and tells him “are you gonna die alone?”. Tuco smiles because he realizes Blondie is actually his friend

My interpretation of the pairing

I think Blondie and Tuco are an embodiment of the enemies to lovers trope. They start out as wanting to kill each other but slowly come to unwillingly realize they harbor feelings for each other (maybe their mutual obsession could give it away from the start?!). In my opinion they find it hard to manifest their feelings because 1. They are rivals and a criminal cannot show any sign of weakness in front of their own enemy 2. They are hardened men who are too proud to confess their feelings. Despite this, it’s hard to hide they are extremely attracted to each other.

Although they seem to be holding back their feelings, they do show some signs of affection (see above). They know each other so well they can sense each other presence from a distance. (That would make for a great abo fic btw)

They know each other as intimately as anyone else ever could. Tuco is the only person who almost killed Blondie, made him vulnerable and also the one who put him back together. Blondie is the only person who knows about Tuco’s troubles with his family - and despite that he doesn’t use that to mock him but chooses to stay by his side.

Also I think when it comes to expressing feelings the one who is more comfortable with it is weirdly Blondie. Tuco is more savage and more hostile to the world in general. Blondie makes him open up little by little with small acts of kindness, and shows him what friendship and trust are like. Blondie is extremely fond of him but deep down knows that Tuco is out for himself and would kill for money - so he does his best to make Tuco survive in the end.

I love how Blondie embodies the role of the “guardian angel” and Tuco that of the “sinner”, apparently irredeemable but who is worthy of love (from the one who you least expect to).

The way Blondie seems to actually have admiration for Tuco, and considers him a worthy opponent and partner (although he would never admit to it) is mezmerizing. I love how Tuco seems to open a crack in Blondie’s hard shell and make him smile and feel things he is not used to. I love how Blondie actively wants to make Tuco feel better and take care of him.

So why should people follow this pairing?

Blondie/Tuco are a fun pairing to ship because of their differences and their love/hatred bordering on obsession dynamic. They are complex characters and their story is set in the Far West tackling themes like kindness in a hostile world, survival, friendship and loneliness. Basically you can have lots of fun exploring their relationship and the related themes.

Side note: they have an interesting ropekink/bdsm side which is still imho underexplored.

The fandom is small but the handful of us who are reading and/or creating content are very active and ready to engage with you.

Fandom guide:

- Bloncos is the first (and only) blog dedicated to them

- Meme-streets meta: in-depth analysis of the film and focus on Blondie and Tuco (look for the good the bad and the ugly tag)

- Fanfiction: ao3 is the main source, my personal recs (pls read tags)

Bounty

Guarding

Bad Choices

Untold

A good partner is irreplaceable!

On The long-term effects of half smoked cigars

Gold dust in a dirty river

A partnership of sorts (series)

Rated E

Cracked

Retelling

Confidence

Pretty Angel

Not quite obedience, but close

Whiskers

Brat

A midnight intervention

Kisses

The ecstasy of c*m

What dreams may come

The Devil You Know

- Short fancam:

Here by cirilee

- Video edits:

x - x - x - x - x

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[el-michoacano]

cicatriz

Tagging @dolly-macabre, @lokisinsurrection, @seraphtrevs, @lady-writes-flanagan, @jugem13, @sword-day, @slainmanca and @cooked-out-euro-trash 🖤

READ ON AO3

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"Where'd you get that scar?"

There wasn't an easy answer; Nacho had many scars. He asked, "Which one?"

The Monte Carlo squealed to a stop before a red light, and Lalo turned his upper body toward Nacho. Lifting his arm to rest his elbow along the back of the seat, he reached out and touched the tip of his pinky finger to Nacho's eyebrow. "This one," he said. The light had turned green, but he either didn't notice or didn't care. It didn't matter, anyway. It was late, and the roads were empty and slick with a strange, unexpected rain. "Tell me about it."

When Lalo dropped his hand, Nacho lifted his own to its place. The scar was deep, so much so that he was left with a little bald spot in his eyebrow. He hadn't thought about it in years; It was just there. It was just a part of him, like the piece of another man's skull in his shoulder or the aching chasm in his chest. He was used to it.

A car pulled up behind them, and Nacho blinked in the sudden brightness of the headlights.

It idled behind them for a long moment, and Lalo glared at it as if the driver could see him. It honked, and he hissed, "¡Sigue adelante, cabrón!," as if the driver could hear him. Maybe they could, because even though they honked again, they pulled around the Monte Carlo and sped off into the night.

Lalo's dark, dark eyes found Nacho again, and he said, "Tell me about it, Ignacio."

Nacho didn't say, Only if you get us off the road. He didn't say, Someone's gonna hit us. He didn't say, Stop looking at me like you actually give a shit. He did say, "You know me and Domingo grew up together, right?"

Lalo said, "I do." He had been told weeks ago, and things had only gotten more complicated since then. Fring was breathing down Nacho's neck and the DEA was sniffing around and nothing at all had improved. There future was unclear. The upcoming drive down to Mexico was all there was to see, and he had no idea if he would ever be returning home.

"He's kind of a soft touch," Nacho said, though he felt bad saying it. He was sure Lalo had already realized it, though. He'd probably realized it that first day in El Michoacáno when he'd left Domingo looking like a scared fawn in the lobby while he cooked. "He was getting picked on, and chicanos gotta stick together, right?" He very much doubted the Salamanca prince knew anything about that, but Lalo nodded anyway. "It turned into this full-on brawl. I was all cut up, and Domingo ended up with a broken arm, and all of us nearly got expelled, but we won."

"That's all that matters," Lalo said with a shrug, and Nacho was certain he believed it. As long as the Salamancas were victorious, any loss was worth it, so long as that loss wasn't of Salamanca blood. It made Nacho's stomach twist. He'd nearly been such a loss. It had been Salamanca blood that had saved him. "Keep going."

Now it was Nacho's turn to shrug. "Tuco heard about it and made me an offer I couldn't refuse." He hadn't wanted Domingo, though. Domingo hadn't been brought in until much later, after a raid had left the Salamancas with far too few men to keep Hector's grip on the city.

"I've heard this part of the story!" Lalo's laugh filled the car easily, drowning out the sound of the rain. "You punched him in the nose!"

He had. It was extremely lucky that Tuco had been high out of his mind and found it hilarious, or Nacho would have been shot on the spot. Instead, he'd been pistol-whipped and left to bleed in the schoolyard.

Lalo finally took his foot off the break, seemingly satisfied, and off they went.

The pistol-whipping had only re-opened the scar, though. It hadn't been the cause of it at all.

In actuality, it had happened when Nacho was seven years old. He'd been upset about spending his Sunday morning in church in a stuffy little suit, and he'd been running up and down the aisle until his shoe caught at the edge of the runner and he'd fallen and conked his head on one of the pews. Lalo didn't need to know that.

[froody]

Tuco sleeping face down ass up in the middle of an active war zone with shelling all around him. So dead to the world that Blondie manages to remove the bullets in his pistol and return it. Doesn’t even wake up when the shelling stops and the Union army packs up and moves out. I mean, he needed that beauty sleep to ford a river, outrun cannon fire and dig up two graves. But goddamn.

[sybilius]

Five Random Lines Meme

tagged by @shes-a-voodoo-child​, thank you!!

rules: pick any ten five (sorry lads I gotta mow the lawn but you’re welcome to collect ten!) of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. then tag ten people.

tagging: @jaimehwatson​, @girlfriendsofthegalaxy​, @believerindaydreams​, @dansedan​, @grand-magnificent​, @miserablecreachur​, @nagdabbit​, @shiny-good-rock, @shinakkyo​ if you’d like to!

I’m also gonna pick the fics more or less at random out of 105 fics, here goes:

1.    The Captain and the Gentleman, The Sea Wolf (Jack London), Wolf Larsen/ Humphrey van Weyden (#35)

 The flash of fear on his cabin-boy's face should have occurred to him. He adds abruptly, "Er, in matters of literature."

 "Oh. Of course."

 Is he imagining the coldness in Hump's voice, or is that simply the whip of salt-tinged air on his bare cheeks? They cross the decks with nigh a word, only the wash of the waves beside them.

 His heart pounds in his throat. Would it do to be direct? His own captain those years before simply instructed him to remove his clothes, a cold, brutal affair. But that had no part in his desire, it was simply an exchange he agreed to. Something to pass the time. Stealing a glance to Hump, he can’t help but feel like this will be another matter entirely.

2.  A companion to trees and a song for a friend, Beyond the Law (1968), Joe Billy Cudlip / Ben Novak ( #80)

 Cudlip frowns, “People, they just. Don't know what to say.”

  “Come off it, Cud, people aren’t all that good and you know that,” Silas growls, “They treat us like there's just got to be somethin’ different about us. Like there's just got to be somethin’ wrong.”

  “Eventually you want to prove them right,” Ben murmurs gently.

 “Now what would you know about that?” Silas mutters sharply. Cudlip’s cheeks burn.

 “Silas, shut up - -”

 “No, it's alright.”

3. it's the same ballpark, Death Note, L/Yagami Light, Matt/Mello/Near (#100)

"Hey," Mello keeps his eyes on the screen, "no working during Movie Night, we agreed."

L shrugs, "Near is working."

Near gives L a very dirty look, but abandons his patterned stack of Lego nodes, "Considering possibilities, that's  all."

Mello and Matt share a conspiratorial look before yanking Near by the armpits onto the couch between them. Light muffles a chuckle as L returns from the message to tangle a hand in his hair.

4. white collar chokeout, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling, KENTA/Katsuyori Shibata (#5) 

“Tch, Kacchan, it’s going to take more than that to shut me–”

He moves, snarls, Kenta moves with him, he’s going to bite his fucking tongue off –  

– Kenta’s lips are on his. Kenta’s tongue is in his mouth, fuck, shit, fucking– Kenta’s hands framing his face, his teeth clicking against Shibata’s, and his whole body a hot, sure line against the fire under Shibata’s skin.

His eyes are closed, Shibata realizes. And without thinking about it, he closes his in answer.

If he opens them, he will have to reckon with this. He will have to.

Kenta’s lips are soft, and Shibata can taste the little skip in his teeth as he leans forward, slipping deeper into Kenta’s hold. The closet hinges creak. His blood pounds in his ears. He keeps his eyes shut.

5. pith and rind , The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Tuco Ramirez/Angel Eyes

Maybe that was why Blondie had stayed so long the first time-- those deft, wicked fingers making him into a martyr every night. Tuco's skill with rope was better than Blondie tying his own damn noose, by now, but this was something entirely different. They'd used the rope about a month ago in Angel's house, Blondie's neck straining, his breath like a hunted animal.

Blondie hadn't complained about that.

Angel's hands trace his spine again, all the way down to where his hands are neatly bound. Then he sits back consideringly, a penknife appearing in his hands as if by magic. He studies Tuco while he cuts the orange slices in half, exposing the bright color beneath the pith. He eats one off the knife, with a casualness that almost makes Tuco flinch. Despite the fact that they'd just had it out the night before, that he'd really been hoping Blondie might stick around this morning, he could feel himself getting pretty damn hard in his pants.

He can blame it on the knife. That's new.

[bettsfic]

Hey Betts! What are some of the techniques of character, pacing, and conflict that you picked up from brba and bcs that you have integrated into your own writing? Would love some examples, if you wanted to expand on that!

so i wrote some initial cursory thoughts a couple years ago but i have had many more since then.

character/conflict

the biggest lesson i've taken from brba and bcs is the power of character choice.

i don't know how exactly i internalized the rule that you have to *force* your character to act, that if they had to choose between conflict and harmony, they'd always choose harmony because that's the more rational decision. so you box them into corners, put pressure on them, make them move. there are so many stories i've stalled out on because i was trying to figure out a way for the external conflict to pressure my character into acting, as if that's the only reason characters will do something interesting and potentially irrational. not to mention, crafting something like that just sucks. it's hard for my brain to think in that kind of logic. i'm much more interested in characters doing batshit things because they're driven to, and they can quit but they don't.

if your story exists only to build character, then there really is no external conflict. your character makes their own fate. and if your character is strong enough, the consequences of their decisions make the story. peace and harmony is always waiting for them, and they never take it.

it's easy to think of gus fring as an antagonist, but it's walter who remains on the offensive, and gus is the one defending himself. but he's defending himself with a lot more firepower at his disposal and so walt thinks he's the poor little meow meow of the situation.

at any point in brba, walt could simply stop doing what he's doing, walk away from it, and nothing would happen. he'd return to his nice house with his happy family and there would be no consequences whatsoever. but he keeps pushing and pushing, because he's driven to be the Best at something. and because he's an asshole.

in bcs, character choices are compounded because jimmy, kim, nacho, and mike are the protagonists. nacho begins the story by working with tuco, but then goes behind tuco's back to start dealing on the side. not only does he earn the salamancas' ire, but gus's too, because to gus, nacho has committed the greatest sin, the ultimate dishonor: biting the hand that feeds you. not to mention the whole trying-to-kill-hector thing. that really sealed his fate.

(nacho is a very interesting character to me because we ally with him the same way we do with jesse, except in introducing nacho, who is with the salamacas but not a salamanca himself, we have a complicating force within the salamanca family, rather than them just being the bad guys, which would be too easy.)

((god i love nacho. talk about a blorbo from my shows.))

mike gets to a point in the plot where he's laundering his own money back to himself through madrigal, and then he gets bored and shows up one day and starts poking around in security stuff, which gets gus's attention, and that's how he gets roped into being gus fring's right hand man. he could have just stayed home and hung out with his granddaughter, but noooo, he had to go Do Stuff.

kim and jimmy are both given so many outs, but they're both addicted to the grift. jimmy getting stranded in the desert? that's not lalo's doing. jimmy had to *beg* lalo to let him go pick up the 7 mil. jimmy is like walt in that we're supposed to believe he's the little guy, he's down on his luck, we're rooting for him to succeed, but he's just too deep into being a con man. the big difference between jimmy and walt is that jimmy tries to be good. but walt only ever wants to win. in the last episode, we see jimmy and walt in the vacuum guy's basement, and it's a really wonderful moment that feels intentionally metatextual, in that it's asking us to look at the differences between them as protagonists. watching it, i get the sense it's maybe the scene that either gould or gilligan had in mind to inspire the show, the thing to work up to. get jimmy mcgill and walter white in a room together (in their underwear, because it's not a brba show if there isn't a middle-aged man in his underwear at least once an episode) talking about philosophy. and walt says, "so you've always been like this." he's saying, "i fell, but you've always been stuck at the bottom."

another difference is that walt acts selfishly almost always, but jimmy is often acting on behalf of kim and vice versa. on a second watch, i noticed that *every single time* anyone said anything bad about jimmy to kim, they immediately put themselves in her crosshairs and she was motivated to destroy them. kim wexler is far and away the best character in the brba universe, maybe one of the best characters on television. it's so thrilling for me to see a female character who is so fucking feral for her husband she's willing to burn the world for him. there are so many times she physically stands between jimmy and the conflict. over and over again, she chooses him. she admires him and loves him when the rest of the world doesn't. and so it's agonizing when she leaves.

the trick to making a story wholly character-driven, and the reason it's so hard to pull off, is because your characters need to be interesting and developed enough that their shitty decisions are believable.

ever since i started reframing character/conflict that way--character AS conflict, not as separate things--i think my stories have gotten a lot more interesting and nuanced.

pacing

seasons 1 through 4 of brba, standing alone, are a pretty good show. it's season 5 that elevates it, because it's what i call a victory lap. like, they did it, they won a bunch of awards, people love it, now it's the final season, they're going all out and having a good time. and then *all* of bcs is a victory lap. it takes its time. it goes everywhere it wants to go. it feels like nothing is restrained or restricted from us. every little detail accounted for. and el camino does it too, it's a character-focused story that takes its time. i'm particularly drawn to the pacing of el camino because of how contained it is. i can't explain it exactly, but i've always loved stories that have a smooth, slow build up and a payoff and nothing else.

what's really brilliant about this universe is that every character succeeds in their mission. all of them! and the story continues and follows the characters through the consequences of that success. because the characters are so interesting and complicated, their success is complicated too. even lalo succeeds in his mission. he finds the laundry business. he tells hector. but don eladio doesn't believe hector, and don eladio is so well built that we believe it. he's totally aware of gus's revenge plot, but it's so far beneath him it's not worth his time.

i first noticed the success arcs in brba, in the scene where skyler takes walt to the storage unit of money, and she's like, there's no way to count it. no way to spend it. i just make sure the bugs don't eat it. as a banker, i was stunned by this scene, because media never acknowledges the fact that cash in large quantities is nearly impossible to manage. any time you deposit over $10k of cash in a bank in a single 24 hour period, a report gets sent to the FBI. so i loved that the show addressed the reality of cash profit. and on a metaphorical note, it's a great way to see, tangibly, that walter white has won.

by the end of season 4, walt has everything. he's in remission from cancer, he's wealthy, he's made the greatest meth the world has ever seen, he hasn't lost his family, and no one is more powerful than him. the only one who can defeat him is himself. most stories end there, the character getting what they're looking for and everything is great and we've returned to a state of harmony. but when your characters are as messy as these, it's never that simple.

while watching bcs, i actually got pretty mad at my roommate because he's like, "it's season 5 and nothing has happened." and when i said that's not true, he argued with me, and i was like, what you're noticing is a steady escalation of conflict rather than episodic conflict, which is rare for tv to do, considering most shows are fighting for each new season. we're used to seeing each episode of something have a conflict, rising action culminating into a climax. and then we see that reproduced in a larger way across an entire season, every season. but bcs is just one long, seamless story, with no major breaking points until the very end. and that's amazing. throw away the acts. the key turning points. the stages. the story is just all one thing, characters fucking around and finding out.

initially, watching season 6 as it was airing, i was disappointed by the ending. partly this is because i didn't remember any of what happened in the first 5 seasons and so i'd forgotten a lot of the context. partly it was because i was wrongly comparing it to the brba finale. but watching bcs in full a second time, i think the ending is really brilliant, because it completes jimmy's character arc. in the end, he's not saul goodman but jimmy mcgill, and he makes the right choice. all the characters in these shows are so well established and the plot honors them so well. there's so much patience and maturity here, and they also still manage to be funny too. i'm just in awe of them. they inspire me so much.

it's so rare that a piece of media is both genuinely good and widely loved. for the most part, i'm just grateful these shows exist and that i can learn from them and apply the craft concepts to my own work. but a little part of me is envious that i'll never be able to write something that well or that patiently.

[genocidehim]

Tuco falling in love with a waitress at the restaurant

notes: reader is female. words: 631

That argument with that damn dealer had put Tuco in a bad mood. Normally, that kind of problem didn't hurt the business, but that the asshole had been caught by the police while selling cocaine really got on Tuco's nerves, especially when he noticed that most of his workers were useless.

Nacho drove in silence as he took Tuco to Michoacano for the final collection of the month. It would be just two quiet hours where Tuco would have the opportunity to rest from the headaches while enjoying a cup of coffee. When they arrived, they noticed that the place was somewhat crowded, and that wasn't good. While Tuco waited outside, Nacho went in and spoke with the restaurant owner to clear the people out and keep the space empty away from prying eyes and ears. Within minutes, the customers left in a bad mood as the restaurant "closed" unexpectedly.

Tuco entered without bothering to greet the owner, took a seat at one of the tables in the middle, and Nacho sat beside him as they discussed how much money they expected to make that day.

You came out of the storage room with a broom and a shovel to clean the floor, wearing the restaurant's apron, and you seemed scared enough not to look at those two. As you tried to make as little noise as possible while sweeping the floor. Tuco noticed you instantly.

He hadn't seen you before, although, well, if he thought about it, he had never seen any other worker in the restaurant while he was there doing his job. He never risked having someone he didn't trust overhear his conversations. But when he saw you, he didn't feel bothered by your presence. Somehow, you managed to generate some interest in him when your anxious gaze did everything possible to avoid rising from the ground and looking at him, how you seemed somewhat clumsy while sweeping the floor due to the panic of being in the same place as those two. Tuco smiled playfully; you were interesting and cute enough to catch his attention.

Nacho didn't take long to hear your soft steps and turned to you with a stern look and a severe tone. "Didn't you hear, girl? The restaurant is closed, get out like your colleagues did."

"I'm sorry, I just… I need to clean the place before leaving…"

"Drop the damn broom and get out."

Tuco stopped Nacho and gave him a severe look, as if he was annoyed by how he had spoken to you.

"Let her finish, she's just cleaning the floor."

Nacho looked visibly confused by Tuco's request, even more so when he gave him a bewildered look and noticed the expression on Tuco's face, an expression he had never seen on him; he seemed fascinated.

You continued cleaning the place in silence, making a great effort not to be a nuisance. However, your presence didn't go unnoticed.

"Niña" Tuco raised his voice, capturing your and Nacho's attention, "Come here for a moment."

Your skin instantly tingled, and you feared receiving a reprimand for something. However, you obeyed and went to his table.

"Yes, sir?" When your gaze met Tuco's, he felt ecstatic.

Tuco smiled cunningly and observed you from below where he was sitting, his gaze traveled over your body and then returned to your eyes. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

When you gave him your name, he smiled complacently, and Nacho seemed to be witnessing something surreal by the stupefied expression on his face.

"I'm Tuco, delighted."

He extended his hand towards you and when you took it the size difference became present, he smiled as he firmly shook your small hand, feeling quite pleased to have you so close and almost submissive. He really was interested in you.

[tucosalamancaofficial]

tuco fucking slaymanca here. seems you shit bitch decided to try and make some kinda joke about my sexual orientation. might surprise you, but I'm like willing to forgive you for saying homophobic shit like this. you wish to continue your fuckin bullshit? so be it. but you already got to the point of no return and you'll be punished. okay?!! no matter what pendejo. you can't undo your words and actions when they're set in stone, and you got your ass on a path full of shit and piss and cok that you should’ve avoided a while ago