#the road to ruane

[greensparty]

Thoughts on Best of 2024 So Far Lists

Anyone who knows me or reads this site knows I am a big consumer of lists and maker of lists. After a year ends, I roll out my Best Of lists for that previous year. Now the new thing is for critics coming out with “Best of the Year So Far” lists in June. I personally don’t make these…but if I was to, here’s some contenders (no order, just namechecks):

Movies:

Drive-Away Dolls, Dune Part 2, Challengers, I Saw the TV Glow, and Hit Man

Documentaries:

Ennio, You Can Call Me Bill, The Road to Ruane, and The Ride Ahead

Albums:

The Smile's Wall of Eyes, Sleater-Kinney's Little Rope, Sheer Mag's Playing Favorites, Pearl Jam's Dark Matter, and Buffalo Tom's Jump Rope

Television Shows:

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Conan O'Brien Must Go, SNL, and The Acolyte

[azullumi]

LAST NIGHT I DREAMT OF THE STARS AND YOU, PT. 1

premise — because that’s just how they are; alternatively, “the type to” trend with hsr characters. characters — ruan mei, veritas ratio, aventurine, and robin content tags — gender-neutral reader, established relationship, fluff, slight angst, not proofread, word vomit in some parts, 1.6k words ; headcanons

note from me — seasickness took me out and the fact that i have a 9 hr road trip tomorrow is already making me dizzy. i hope i’m asleep for the 3/4 of it,, also this has a pt. 2 which i’ll upload later on !! anyways i wrote this in between my vacation and trip and in between the long-ass separate fics with sunday and aven so sorry if it seems rusty or out of my style 🙏

RUAN MEI, (lies in between the line of a good lover and a bad lover) the type to be unable to express her affections for you through words and settles with small and simple gestures that she has observed and seen from everyone around her; having never understood “love” and never knowing how to correspond with such, she’s left silent and confused like a lost child in the wake of it. She’ll find herself staring you quietly, memorizing the lines of your face and how it creases and contorts into different expressions, studying each crevices and edges of the parts that makes up your being to bury you in her memory, and there’s a smile that tugs on her lips every time her gaze falls on you. Oh, she wishes she understood what it all meant (she simply and devastatingly adores you).

RUAN MEI, the type to subconsciously write your name on paper whenever she’s distracted. it’s a small habit she does, one that makes her smile whenever she notices the letters spelling out your name. She has ruined, tainted several of her papers, even important ones, with just a single word, a set of letters that composes of what makes warmth seep into her chest when her mind drifts into the thought of someone—you.

RUAN MEI, the type not understand the underlying reason behind her actions—why she spends the time and makes the effort in between her busy schedule and pile of papers to make sweets for you, why she lets you do her hair despite how messy it often turns out when you braid it and how she can never find the strength in herself to “fix” or disturb the state of your work, why she always seek for the warmth of your hands whenever she’s feeling uneasy or stressed, why she always lean to your shoulder or to your touch when you caress her cheek, and everything. It’s a puzzle board of missing and scattered pieces, unable to comprehend the full image of the mystery—and yet, she still delves into the enigma of her feelings that is intertwined with your existence. Maybe one day she’ll come to know it all and maybe it will be the time when she can finally be honest to herself.

VERITAS RATIO, the type to want to know every single thing you and remember all of it. Perhaps it’s the bare minimum, perhaps it’s something that he just does. “They don’t like that,” He would say when an arrogant fool would even try to give you (or do) something, and he’s there, witnessing it all, knowing the things that you prefer and like. He knows what flowers that you like, knows your favorite color, knows the way you prefer to sleep, knows the small habits that you do when you’re nervous or scared or happy, knows every little detail that paints the whole of your existence. Isn’t it simply just lovely when someone desires to know you from the inside and out? Even if it’s just a little bit, he feels more closer to you in this way.

VERITAS RATIO, the type to be sweet and reassuring towards you (through words and actions), even though he may come off as mean, blunt, or rude towards others. Sure, he may call you an idiot sometimes but he’ll never go past that nor reach the line of degrading and distasteful remarks because he never wishes to hurt your feelings; if ever he did, he’ll apologize and tell you it’s not his intention. “Fool,” But the affection that edges into the tone of his voice cuts the thread of disdain that sews into the word. Oftentimes when texting and it’s easy to misunderstand the tone of one’s message, especially his tone, he’ll reassure you that he didn’t send it in a way that he’s angry or scornful: “The ‘Ok’ that I sent is not a mad ‘Ok’, I am in a rush and could only type that out. I’m not angry.”

VERITAS RATIO, the type to entertain your questions no matter how stupid it can be; he’d give you the answers every single time. He doesn’t mind being treated like a walking encyclopedia or dictionary if it’s you—he’d hate it if you were going to ask someone else instead of him (although he probably never told you that discomfort). I mean, you have a well-known member of the Intelligentsia Guild, someone who parallels a genius, just right at the tip of your fingertips, why bother asking someone else?

AVENTURINE, the type to like listening to the sound of your breathing, the sound of your heartbeat (to listen to the sound of you blinking, to listen to your hands soothe). It’s comforting, in an odd way, and he never tells you but it helps him fall asleep—watching the rising and falling of your chest, seeing your calm face wrinkle ever so often while you sleep. He keeps the sound of your heartbeat close to the pocket on his chest, weaving the rhythm of it to his pulse, and before he knew it, the dawn will come in quiet solitude.

AVENTURINE, the type to be always on fight-or-flight mode. Perhaps it’s the way that he grew up, perhaps it was the harsh and cruel environment that he’s in, but he’s always on guard, seemingly on defensive mode as if danger lurks at every dark corner. His shoulders are always tense, his hand either hidden or playing with the ring on his finger, it’s like he never can’t seem to relax himself even when he’s in the comfort of your arms. It follows him everywhere, trailing behind his feet, and forces him awake at night—he doesn’t even know where the fear, the anxiety, is coming from, he just knows it’s there. One wrong step and his thoughts will come crashing down like cold downpour, one wrong move and you’ll come to leave him. Sometimes a little reassurance comes a long way and it’s all he needs when his mind is being tormented. (He will learn to live with it, even if he can never seem to understand or know it. He will come to know peace as if it’s all he had in his hands when the sun first held him).

AVENTURINE, the type to immediately smile after a kiss. It’s utterly affectionate; parting, staring deeply into one’s eyes with his cheeks dusted with a certain color and he’s grinning—warmth beams from his expression and there’s a certain feeling that intertwines into his gaze and he knows it’s love because it’s all he feels whenever he looks at you. He’s the type to laugh into a kiss, feeling ticklish all over his bones as if your hands are ghosting the sensitive parts of his skin, and you’ll ask him, “What?” but he’ll only answer with, “Nothing.” He’s not drunk, the ache of wanting simply swells up in his chest and all he can think of is how much he adores you.

ROBIN, the type to try and make time for you. Her schedule is always packed, filled with all kinds of events and tasks that she needs to do. It’s overwhelming, everything feels overwhelming for her and it’s hard to know which one she should prioritize first not when she has a lot of things on her hands. Sometimes she feels lost, feels the weight too heavy on her shoulders, feels like her feet are tied to the ragged earth, feels the cage closing on her. She tries so hard to be the perfect lover for you, to become someone that will reach beyond your expectations; she cradles that perfect image, broken in all of its edges, that were constructed for herself close to her chest even if it feels like a knife to her heart. But really, all you need is for her to be herself (not the star that everyone admires and wishes to reach) and sometimes, that’s all she needs to hear from you—that she doesn’t have to hold on to the shattered chains when the coldness of the metal reminds her of what she has to carry.

ROBIN, the type to go on all kinds of dates with you, silly or not, and even matches clothes with you. She’s usually the one to make the invite to match, thinking that it’s cute and the both of you rarely ever has time like this so why not make the most out of it; who are you to even say no when she’s beaming at you so warmly? She has all of her options laid on the bed, displayed on clothing hangers, asking you what you’re going to wear or what color do you want. It’s lovely, sweet, seeing her like this and you could only pray to whoever aeon is listening that nobody comes to ruin the day the both of you rarely have for each other.

ROBIN, the type to bring you all kinds of souvenirs and gifts from her (universal) tours, sometimes having bought too much that you don’t know what to with some of them; the type to send you letters every time she’s away so that you won’t worry for he, especially knowing what happened last time, the type to always try to keep in touch and keep you close no matter the stars between you and her. She’ll ask for one thing that you own that she can carry with her person, making a promise that she’ll come back and return it—the item a testament to her vow—, but for the meantime, she’ll keep it so she has a little piece of you everywhere she goes and she can say that you’re always there by her side.

DRUM ROLLS PLS *dundundundundun* special mention to the one and only beloved feli @dr-felitas !! i think i owe you a lot of end notes so here i am :3 also i’m sorry if i publish this and i still haven’t responded to your messages (if you have sent me cause im on dnd to avoid my dumbass from checking and looking at the phone during car rides knowing that i get motion sick) ANYWAYS i would like to begin this with i love you mwamwa, you’re one of the sweetest and most wonderful souls i have ever met and anyone who tells u otherwise will get a boulder thrown to their head 🫵 im glad to have met you, that my anti-social ass went ahead and messaged you despite the fact that we only talked once or twice AND IT WAS OVER ASKS OR COMMENTS BUT YEAH !! idk what or where i’ll be if i hadn’t done that; maybe not replying to my friends idk (again im sorry if i take business days to answer i sometimes get busy or i sometimes dont have the energy :3 i hope u still love me hahahaha… *slides down the wall*) again, i really appreciate and adore you for everything. you are a brave and kind person and i only hope for the good things for you. don’t be too mean or harsh to yourself 🫂 know that i’m always here to listen to you no matter what you’re saying. you’re never a burden to me and i hope you’ll come to see just how you shine and radiate with so much warmth and kindness, it’s like love itself is found in you. ily lottss mwaa <33

sunday, himeko, welt, gallagher, and jing yuan next !!

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[lonelylonelyghost]

Re-watch of The Spirealm. Episode 37

Wu Qi, the bestest bff ever. Everyone needs some Wu Qi in their lives! Wu Qi needs some Wu Qi in his life

"Even you want me to send Ruan Nanzhu to his death?"

"Lingling, you have to figure it out. If you don't enter the Door, he'll die. But if you go, he might survive.

It's obvious. The game can't be fixed without Ruan Nanzhu. He must go, no matter what, even if he is doomed. But if you go, with your strength, you two might have a chance to come back. You can make a choice between all the players and him. But he has no choice. He has to sacrifice himself to save others."

"I understand why I was given up and why he hid the truth from me, but I just don't want to accept it. I feel like I'm a fool who can only accept the consequences and understand him."

So what are you afraid of? Losing Ruan Nanzhu? Let me tell you. I'm not afraid of losing you. Because I know that it's the beginning for you to be yourself. That's the point of being your friend, isn't it? I'm going to lose you at the end of this road, I'll still take this farewell trip as a journey. I can accompany you on your last journey, just like what you can do for Ruan Nanzhu. It's a friend's duty, right?"

"I... I'm not sure if I can make it."

"You can. You can do it. Haven't you always wanted to use your game designer skills to change the world? This is the right time. You're saving the world, Lin Qiushi."

I had to take frequent breaks during these last few episodes, to watch those multi-hour long youtube videos talking about terrible straight romance books, because this shit is literally breaking me.

On a brighter note, I love that Yan Balang's situation is becoming worse for him, reflected by how his surroundings become shabbier and shabbier.

He started from owning a whole building to him ending up in a shitty crowded apartment, with debt collectors banging on his door. The interesting thing about him is that he's extremely intelligent and cunning (as we've seen in the 10th Door), but his hubris and greed destroyed everything that he has built before.

He deserves this misery and no glory

🖕

And Xia Jie being in love with that loser. Appropriate punishment, but honestly pretty sad. I might feel bad, but I don't actually

🖕

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

They managed to make everyone here despicable to such an impressive degree

"I'm leaving."

"I have no choice. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to Zaozao and Qianli. But I have enough time to say goodbye to you. I don't want to miss it. So I'll say goodbye to you ahead of time. No matter what, I won't forget you."

😖😖😖😖

Here's Johnny!

Art that kills

Nooo, our favourite fluffy gangster is back!!!

🥹🥹🥹🥹

"Be careful. Not everyone you meet at night is a friend. They could be monsters. Destroy the game. Good luck."

😭😭😭😭

YEY!! I will cheer for his death every time I see it

My girl!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

And her stricken face when Nanzhu and Qiushi told her that they couldn't stay for long 😭

But the last we see her, she's still smiling

I hate this show

"This is the place where we first met!"

"Welcome to the world of the Doors."

Bondage-Don't-Stop-Murdering

Our kind gays bring all the coolest Door Gods to the yard!

And I like how all three of them are a different type of menacing. Zuozi is a cute girl straight up from a Japanese horror movie, Lady in the Rain is a refined gothic beauty, while Xiao Jiu behaves in this not-exactly-human way (the way she stares here is uncanny), because she's half-beast (I think???). I would both kill and die for them all

Our best boyyyy 🥹🥹🥹🥹

God, what an absolutely incredible thing they did aaaaaa

Sitcom. 2000 episodes. Just them hanging around, discussing home remedies, new fluffy tights, and going to each other's Doors for some hairstyle and fashion advice, killing bad NPCs in the meantime.

I never knew I needed this in my life. I want it. Now.

PLEEEASE🙏🙏🙏🙏

And the way Xiao Jiu chokes on her own hair like a cat lmao

Also her hands are AWESOME

[trashyvanillabean]

Ok but like:

Luocha’s coffin apparently has/is a bit of the remains of Tayzzyronth, Aeon of the Propagation.

Ruan Mei is experimenting with the Propagation.

Ruan Mei was name-dropped in Feixiao’s conversation with Yukong about Tingyun’s whereabouts, and again I think by Yaoguang during the conversation with Jing Yuan, Huaiyan and Feixiao.

I have a few guesses:

Ruan Mei somehow got her hands on Tayzzyronth’s remains, and Luocha somehow received/stole them from her.

Based on the events in Penacony with the Beyond the Sky Choir, and Sunday apparently almost ascending to Aeonhood in his boss fight…I feel like Luocha’s plan involves resurrecting Tayzzyronth. (After somewhat finishing the Swarm Disaster for Simulated Universe, a conversation with Herta mentions that Tayzzyronth might come back. How, we don’t know because they never said how.) Not tacking Jingliu in on the plan because I don’t think she would have ever agreed to this, but she’s marastruck and considering Luocha…um… *gestures at his Honkai Impact 3rd counterpart* Her being less mentally stable might have slightly helped Luocha into getting her onboard. (Again, this is just guesswork.)

As for why they would resort to using the Propagation, I’m going to guess their thought process was something like this.

The Abundance is all about abundant life and extending it for as long as possible. Yaoshi blesses the long-lived with immortality, regardless of the cost. It’s how we end up having the marastruck, the borisin and other immortal species, etcetera.

The thing is, in order for life to continue, they need resources. Food, water, places to live.

And just like how the Abundance spreads life, the Propagation spreads their kin — and they don’t just spread, they devour.

“But, Vanille, isn’t that a Voracity thing? If that’s what they’re going for, wouldn’t it make more sense to involve/revive a Leviathan—?”

I would like to point to poor Pure Sugar Child, a cat cake who we had to rescue from being gobbled up by one of those big-ass buggers while exploring the Seclusion Zone.

And speaking of Voracity, do you remember why Himeko and Welt didn’t join us for the Wardance?

Because they were helping Herta deliver Leviathan fossils to Ruan Mei.

Oroboros, the Aeon of Voracity, is a Leviathan.

“[…] the road to catastrophe is paved with good intentions.” ~Jing Yuan

I have no idea what the hell Luocha, Ruan Mei and/or Jingliu are thinking. This is all just (likely very poor) guesswork.

But, if things are how I think they’re gonna go, shit’s going to hit the fan for the Xianzhou Alliance, and it won’t just be bug shit.

Note 9/23/2024: edits were made because I noticed some errors in here 😭

[timotey]

Ficlet: Human, Unexpectedly

The Spirealm. Ruan Lanzhu/Ling Jiushi. Missing scene from ep 60. Unbeta'd.

He wasn't made for this.

(Yeah, I was hit by the feels. Ergo, a ficlet.)

*.*.*

Ling Jiushi keeps holding Tan Zaozao in his arms long after she dies. He’s holding her and not letting go, rocking her slowly back and forth, back and forth, and stroking her hair gently.

She’s dead. And he’s stopped crying.

When the emergency services arrive, Lanzhu finally steps in. He can’t bear the thought of these people being unkind to Lingling. He would never stand for it, but especially not now. 

He drops to his knees next to Ling Jiushi and rests one hand on his lower back. “Ling Jiushi… Lingling, let go,” he whispers gently. “Let her go.”

And he does. Slowly, Ling Jiushi opens his arms, releasing Zaozao, letting the medics take her. He follows their ministrations with his eyes but there’s little life in them and no hope. He knows there’s no bringing her back.

Lanzhu knows it too. Very well. Best of all of them. He’s known the rules since his very conception. He’s known them and accepted them, easily so. But lately, he’s been... living them - and it hurts. 

“Come on,” Lanzhu whispers and takes Ling Jiushi by the shoulders, helping him stand. He has to hold him up, prop him up because Ling Jiushi's knees give out. But that’s okay, Lanzhu's strong enough. For Lingling, always. “Let’s go home.”

*

The ride back is quiet. They don’t talk.

Lanzhu had to help Ling Jiushi into the car, had to put on the safety belt for him because Ling Jiushi completely blanked out, he froze. For a moment there, he wasn’t even sure if Lingling was breathing. Lanzhu's never seen him in such a state and it’s starting to really worry him.

Ling Jiushi is staring down at his hands, numb and uncomprehending. Lanzhu glances that way, taking his eyes off the road for a second, and sees that Lingling’s hands are bloody. There’s a little blood soaked into his pants and his shirt, too. 

Lanzhu hopes that Ling Jiushi didn’t cut himself on the broken glass of the fallen chandelier. He opens his mouth to ask - but then he doesn't. Lingling most likely doesn’t know himself, he would most likely not even answer anyway.

Lanzhu wants to stop the car and hug Lingling, just hug him and hold him. He doesn’t. He drives on.

*

When they arrive at the villa, Lanzhu has to help Ling Jiushi in. 

The others are waiting for them, the mood in the living room serious and somber, grief hanging heavily over them. Qianli jumps to his feet but before he can say more than a hesitant “Lingling-ge…” Lanzhu shakes his head. Not now. Ling Jiushi isn’t even aware of them, it seems.

Lanzhu takes him upstairs, to Ling Jiushi's bedroom and through that to the bathroom where he strips him naked and guides him into the shower stall where he starts the water running. He needs to wash the blood off, the blood and the glass. Lanzhu doesn’t want Lingling to hurt himself. He doesn’t want Lingling to see Tan Zaozao’s blood when he comes back to his senses.

He’s been thinking of undressing Lingling, of touching him and of… other things, too, for quite some time now but none of that is on his mind right now as he runs the washcloth over Ling Jiushi’s arms and the palms of his hands, cleaning away all the physical evidence of Tan Zaozao’s death. 

And Lingling just stands there and lets him, either he trusts Lanzhu that much - or he doesn’t care. Either way his eyes are completely blank and his breath is shallow, barely there, he's just a hollow husk. It’s terrifying, this emptiness.

Afterwards, Lanzhu dries Ling Jiushi off and puts him in some warm clothes, the earth colored sweater that he bought for him and his old pants, so worn, almost threadbare yet so comfortable and soft to the touch. Then he helps Lingling into bed and bundles him up and then he leaves to quickly change too because he’s soaked, having only removed off his outermost clothes, not wanting to make Lingling uncomfortable with his own nakedness if he came back to himself.

But when he returns, Ling Jiushi isn't asleep, he’s lying there just as Lanzhu left him, with his eyes open and staring at the ceiling without really seeing it - and he’s trembling all over, shaking almost visibly. Lanzhu touches his cheek, his hand and finds them chilled, almost icy cold, as if Lingling’s body lost its ability to generate heat. 

Lanzhu calls Chen Fei.

“Lanzhu, I keep telling you I’m not qualified for this,” Chen Fei says, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking Ling Jiushi’s wrist in his hand to check his pulse. He’s exasperated and worried - and he's not an actual human doctor, no matter what the others think!

Lanzhu’s leaning back against the head of the bed with Ling Jiushi nestled against his right side and he can feel the tremors running through the other man's body getting stronger, like he’s shaking apart.

And he still hasn’t said anything, Lingling, not a word. He isn’t asleep but he’s not entirely there either and Lanzhu… Lanzhu can’t take this. He doesn’t do helpless, especially when it comes to Lingling.

“Chen Fei!” he says quietly but firmly, cutting off all his objections. He simply stares at him, hard, until Chen Fei sighs and looks away.

“Alright, alright…” Chen Fei mutters and gets up. “I’ll be right back.”

When Chen Fei comes back, he orders, “Pull up his sleeve,” while he rummages through the contents of his not-doctor’s bag for a syringe and a small bottle, half full of a clear liquid. “It’s a mild sedative. It will help him rest - or it won’t harm him, at least. I don’t think there’s anything physically wrong with him, he’s just…” 

He doesn’t finish his sentence. There's no need. Lanzhu was there and the others saw it on TV. In the chase after sensational news, it was aired life, the whole thing. And so they all saw it. Tan Zaozao’s death, Ling Jiushi’s despair, none of it was private.

After Chen Fei’s done, he puts away his things while Lanzhu pulls down Ling Jiushi’s sleeve, hiding the needle mark that should give him some relief. He’s watching Lingling blink more and more slowly, languidly, eyelashes fluttering, until he falls asleep, his head lolling against Lanzhu’s shoulder. 

Lanzhu tries to move, to get up and let Ling Jiushi lie down more comfortably but Lingling instinctively burrows closer, throwing one arm across Lanzhu’s stomach, gripping him tight, hand fisted into Lanzhu’s shirt, one leg slipping between Lanzhu’s, pinning him down.

Breath catches in Lanzhu’s throat. This… he didn’t plan this. It wasn’t his intention to–

“Stay with him,” Chen Fei says softly as he gets up, snapping his bag shut with a metallic click. “Your company might help him more than the sedative. I think what he really needs right now is not to be alone.” And with that, he leaves.

Slowly, hesitantly, Lanzhu wraps his arms around Ling Jiushi, lightly stroking his hair and his back. He stares down at Lingling - and once again he sees him holding Tan Zaozao’s lifeless body, back there, on the stage.

And it hurts!

Tan Zaozao’s death. Lingling’s grief. Those things, they hurt and they're choking him and they're making his eyes burn. And Lanzhu doesn’t know what to do with that. He wasn't made for this. He was never meant to be like this. He’s never thought he could feel so much and so deeply, that he was even capable of it. And yet, here he is. He has friends and a family - and he’s fallen in love, so desperately that it makes him want to live.

Resting his hand on Lingling's sleeping face, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb lightly, Lanzhu thinks to himself that... he was never meant to be anything more than an NPC, yet unexpectedly, he feels so human.

[lunareiitic]

the plum fragrance in my bones - a ruan mei mix

She could not feel them. Life only exists for such a short time, after all. They fleetingly pass from birth to death, and her experiment is the only constant.

PARIS OF THE EAST - The Shanghai Restoration Project | BUBBLING WELL ROAD - The Shanghai Restoration Project | I WISH I WAS THE MOON - Neko Case | SEA, SWALLOW ME - Cocteau Twins | GOLDEN AGE - Ethel Cain | HOLOCENE - Bon Iver | DIRT IS FALLING - Psapp | LIFE ON LAND - Dessa | EMPTY HOMES IN BLUE LIGHT - Midnight Session | SADDAM - AlicebanD | UNDER ICE - Kate Bush | LIFELESS - Stolen Babies | WAIT FOR ME - AlicebanD | DARK MATTER - Björk | GHOSTS IN THE STATIC - Ben Babbit

[ryanhamiltonwalsh]

BILLY RUANE

The long awaited premiere of The Road to Ruane documentary is this weekend in Boston. Who was Billy Ruane? He was Boston's modern-rock-scene lunatic godfather, a trust-fund kid who decided to blow it all on his friends and artists, a ceaseless promoter of bands he loved, and a pure injection of uncut chaos in anyone's life that happened to cross paths with his.

We were one of the last bands Billy championed. He tracked us down, on tour, to a bar patio in Knoxville, TN. The club we were playing that night brought the cordless phone out to me and I was certain someone back home must be dead. Instead I heard this on the other end: "This is Billy Ruane. I need Hallelujah The Hills to play my birthday party at the Middle East." When I asked why he had tracked us down to a club in TN to ask *tonight* he said, "It couldn't wait. I love you guys. Just say yes."

I felt like I had just met Hunter S. Thompson's New England cousin. We did say yes and the lead up to the show featured all manner of wild, rambling emails sent to the entire lineup, alternating between excitement and admonishing us for not promoting it harder. The following day, an apology email: "i guess that night i went loopy."

Billy's whole rock-scene origin story began with a birthday party he threw himself at the Middle East, and this one would be his last. It was a wild, fun, emotionally charged night. The video here is from our performance, complete with one of several mid-set announcements from Billy. I enjoyed his unpredictable presence and was so honored he added us to the list of bands he thought were worth a damn in Boston.

After that night, he used to call me at work sometimes (no idea how he got the number) and talk for, like, an hour at a time. The calls were very different than the dancing, kissing, shouting Billy you saw at a show. The thoughts were still wild, but it was delivered in a calm, understated manner, like an AM talk show host or something. I would never initiate the end of the call. If he wanted to tell me more, I always let him keep going. If he couldn't attend one of our shows—sometimes it was for really weird reasons, like he heard rumors that someone he had a beef with would be in attendance—he would send a videographer so he could enjoy the show later at home.

Looking back at my inbox, I see we were emailing weeks before his death about doing another show he was putting together. He had a theme in mind: bands with strings in them.

The last time I saw him in person, he picked up a round of drinks at a Drug Rug show at the Museum of Fine Arts. His Billy-isms seemed especially so willfully in defiance of the accepted rules of society when placed in the context of a fancy art museum. I remember marveling that he knew my name, loved our band.

Hills performed at his memorial concert where, to everyone's absolute shock, his sister tossed some of his ashes onto the audience from the stage. Some people were visibly covered with Billy. One more sloppy kiss. I remember asking people next to me if that had actually just happened. I don't even remember performing that night, but I'll always remember Chris Brokaw's astounding electric guitar feedback tribute to his friend. I can still remember how centered I felt witnessing it.

For many, many years after, his ashes resided at the Middle East Upstairs. A few years ago, I realized that the photo to the left of his urn was him on stage with Hallelujah The Hills; that's me visible right behind him in plaid. All because I got a phone call in Knoxville one night. What a world.

The documentary, I have no doubt, will solidify his legend for music fans far outside of Boston. It can't lose. Just capture 1/10th of the stories, ya know? For instance, Billy once booked the Del Fuegos at Walpole Prison. Apparently, during the set, Billy started dancing in the aisle between the prisoners. Soon they all chanted, “David Bowie! David Bowie!” at him.

These are the kinds of beautiful, surreal tableaux we just don't get if everyone one of us colors within the lines. I'm so grateful Billy didn't even know there was a coloring book in front of him.

[donnatroyprincessofthemyscira]

GoCollect

ComicListThis Week:

MARVEL COMICS NEW RELEASES FOR 09/13/2023

Alligator Loki #1 (Cover A Bob Quinn), $5.99

Alligator Loki #1 (Cover B Skottie Young), AR

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Astonishing Iceman #2 (Cover A Jesus Saiz), $3.99

Astonishing Iceman #2 (Cover B Junggeun Yoon), AR

Astonishing Iceman #2 (Cover C Ejiwa Edge Ebenebe), AR

Avengers Inc. #1 (Cover A Daniel Acuna), $4.99

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Avengers Inc. #1 (Cover F Sean Galloway Saturday Morning Variant), AR

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Captain America Cold War TP, $19.99

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Marvel-Verse Kraven The Hunter TP, $9.99

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Spine-Tingling Spider-Man #0 (Cover A Juan Ferreyra), $9.99

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Venom Epic Collection The Madness TP, $44.99

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Werewolf By Night #1 (Cover C Adam Hughes Virgin Variant), AR

Werewolf By Night #1 (Cover D Bill Sienkiewicz Hidden Gem Black & White Variant), AR

Werewolf By Night #1 (Cover E Corin Howell Black & White Virgin Variant), AR

Werewolf By Night #1 (Cover F David Yardin), AR

What If Dark Spider-Gwen #1 (2nd Printing Cover A Greg Land), $4.99

What If Dark Spider-Gwen #1 (2nd Printing Cover B Rose Besch), AR

Wolverine Omnibus Volume 4 HC (Adam Kubert Book Market Cover), $125.00

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X-Force #44 (Cover B Ian Bertram), AR

X-Men #25 (2nd Printing Cover A Joshua Cassara), $5.99

X-Men Epic Collection Proteus TP, $44.99

X-Men Hellfire Gala 2023 #1 (2nd Printing Cover A Phil Noto), $8.99

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Alex Ross Marvel Comics Super Villains Poster Book SC, $29.99

[ohmeadows]

i love odd ships. like, no canon basis, no grounds in anything but vibes and themes. well, meadows, what brought this on? i hear you asking.

well. i've been thinking about ruan mei/jingliu as of late.

(i should note i don't think this is a theory at all. it's just an au idea. some snacks for the long road between reveals.)

well, i hear you say, that's fucking odd. i agree. i just like the premise of the idea, the visual of... well. just listen.

we know jingliu is aiming to kill an aeon, if not multiple;

we know ruan mei created all the aeons in the simulated universe;

i've been thinking of the premise that ruan mei has some ulterior motives in wanting to study the aeons (which likely all of the genius society members involved have);

that jingliu survived the attack by jing yuan and was nourished back to health by ruan mei. that ruan mei taught her the ways of aeon-killing. ruan mei is a woman who would love to peer into your twisted little mind and study it. jingliu is a sword looking to be wielded.

also leaks showing they share the same element

[greensparty]

2024 IFFBoston Wrap-Up

From May 1 to 8, I got to attend my favorite film festival in Boston, in New England and possibly the world, the Independent Film Festival Boston (read my previous coverage here). I have a special place for this festival: in 2014 my documentary Life on the V: The Story of V66 had its World Premiere at the festival, and in 2015 I was on the Documentary Jury. This was one of the best line-ups in a while. There was a common theme from a number of the films I saw (both narrative and documentary) about disabilities, conditions and anxieties. It was nice to see the amount of inclusion and accessibility represented in this year's fest. Here is my lightning-round of this year’s fest:

Wed. May 1:

Sadly I missed the opening night, just stopped by to pick up my badge :(

Thurs. May 2:

I went to the Brattle to see one of the most highly-anticipated movies of this year, I Saw the TV Glow about two teens who bond over their fandom of a mysterious TV show. I caught director Jane Schoenbrun’s last film We’re All Going to the World’s Fair when it was was at the 2021 IFFBoston and while I had a mixed response to the film, I was excited about this new one. Taking place over the course of 27 years, we see young teen Owen in 1996 who be-friends Maddy, a few years older as he takes an interest in the TV show The Pink Opaque, a 90s WB-type series (a serious Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed reference). As time goes on, Maddy leaves VHS tapes of the show for Owen since his parents won't let him stay up for it. A few years later, the show gets canceled and Maddy leaves town. The lines between fiction and reality begin to blur after that. I choose to not give away much more to avoid spoilers. I've thought about this film every day since I saw it and all I can say is OMG - Wow, this movie rocks! Much has been made about how this movie is an allegory for Schoenbrun's own experience of transitioning, but even without that backstory, it is truly the work of an artist who is using film to comment on our relationship with pop culture. There have definitely been times for me as a teen (and since) when I related more to fictional characters than IRL people around me, which is what's being presented with Owen. Schoenbrun is showing how pop culture can be something that brings people together as they sit silently watching a show, while connecting with that show. Whether the show was actually good is another story altogether, but the point is it spoke to you at a time when you needed it. There are definitely parts when this is bowing at the altar of David Cronenberg or Donnie Darko, but when this works, it's on the level of Twin Peaks for a depiction of suburbia not being what it seems. It's also one of the rare times when you see a character return to pop culture that they loved when they were young and when they are older they have a different view of it. As someone who has addressed pop culture and nostalgia in all of my work, it's no surprise that I was moved by this, but it truly is a film that lives up to the hype. Side note: Schoenbrun is receiving the Coolidge Breakthrough Artist Award from Coolidge Corner Theatre tonight!

Fri. May 3:

I caught up with some filmmaker friends and press friends at the after-party. Good times!

Sat. May 4:

I caught the documentary The Road to Ruane about Billy Ruane. Let me back up: After my friend Michael Gill passed away in 2022, my hope was that his long in the works documentary about Ruane, the eccentric promoter of legendary Boston rock club The Middle East (actually Cambridge, but a big part of the Boston music scene), would somehow get completed and released. I met up with Gill a few times before he moved around 2017 as I had heard about his doc and there was a lot of overlap with his doc and my doc Life on the V: The Story of V66 in terms of interviewees and subject matter (both of us filmed interviews with Ben Deily of The Lemonheads, Dana Colley of Morphine and Kay Hanley of Letters to Cleo and there's loads of overlap with other bands too). I am thrilled to see that co-director Scott Evans completed the doc and it is finally premiered. The fact that the doc features loads of Middle East archival footage and interviews with a who's who of Boston rock got my attention.

Ruane was a Harvard-educated trust fund child (Warren Buffet was his Godfather) and when he stayed in Boston he took to the local music scene and began booking and promoting bands at The Middle East. But beyond the "this band got their start and played there before they were famous" stories (of which there are many) it's really a story of someone who couldn't hide from his family trauma compounded with his bipolar disorder. It serves as a cautionary tale of money can't buy happiness. But beyond just being a tribute to Ruane, it is also a tribute to Gill and his own connection to The Middle East as an employee and with his band The Damn Personals, covered here too. This is a music doc for Boston music geeks!

Afterwards I went upstairs to the Crystal Ballroom for the karaoke party and jury awards!

Sun. May 5:

In the afternoon I caught Tallywacker, which had already won a jury award before the screening. It's a comedy-drama about a two-person rock band Tallywacker. Guitarist-singer Aleister is disabled and drummer Emmett has been his friend and bandmate for 15 years. When Aleister gets a chance to tour with a major rock star he brings Emmett along to help out, but not perform with the band. This, of course, tests the friendship and the band. I out and out loved this movie! It got into the trope of movies about bands, but the trick was that the funny parts are really funny and the dramatic parts were really emotional and the indie rock soundtrack was really good too. There were a lot of films at this year's festival about disabilities and one of the common themes was the need for equality. While that theme is present in this film, it actually brought up an interesting question, which Emmett asks Aleister - are audiences liking and watching you for the right reasons or are you being exploited? It's an entertaining movie with some strong themes and ideas to it!

My friends director Dan Habib and editor James Rutenbeck were at the 2018 IFFBoston with the great doc Intelligent Lives. Now they are back with a new doc The Ride Ahead co-directed by Dan’s son Samuel about his own personal journey to becoming an adult. Samuel, a disabled young person, tells his story of figuring out what's next and making a film about it by talking with other disabled activists and entertainers. Dan is a very gifted filmmaker and it's truly beautiful to see he and his son Samuel open up themselves to share their story with the world. Talent runs in their family!

Mon. May 6:

My friend Mark Phinney’s film Fat was at 2014 IFFBoston when I was there with Life on the V: The Story of V66. We’ve remained good friends since then and this year he premiered his new feature Fear of Flying about a man struggling with his anxieties while trying to maintain his relationships. It is impossible for me to be objective about this film as Mark is a friend of mine and I actually read an early draft of the screenplay and gave him my notes. But I will say this, this is a good example of what a small character-driven indie film can do on a low budget and it has a lot to say about people who live with anxiety and the personal toll it can take and inhibit progress, relationships and career. The cast is solid and Mark made something really personal. Way to go Mark!

Vanyaland's Michael Christopher, director Mark Phinney and the cast/crew of Fear of Flying

Tues. May 7:

The fest moved over to the Coolidge Corner Theatre (one of their new cinemas I might add). In My Own Normal, director Alexandre Freeman turns the camera on himself: living with cerebral palsy since age two he is now an adult about to become a new father and how his parents react to this. My friend Ariana Garfinkel (she’s an IFFBoston alum as well) is a consulting producer on the film. The film gets deep into parenthood and what it is for someone with disabilities to become a parent, a husband and a filmmaker. Truly moving!

Wed. May 8:

The Closing Night film at Coolidge was the comedy Thelma starring Oscar-nominee June Squibb as an elderly woman who is scammed by a caller claiming to be her grandson and goes on a city-wide quest to get back what’s hers. Of all the films I saw at IFFBoston this year, this was easily the lightest and dare I say, most commercial. But there was a charm to it and it's constructed with a lot of the tropes of action movies but adapting them to an elderly cast. I was especially excited to see Richard Roundtree (who passed away last October) in one of his final roles as Thelma's friend who helps her out with his scooter and is also the voice of reason. The cast definitely elevated what could have been a sitcom-ish premise. Watch for it when it opens in June. Afterwards I swung by the party in one of the new spaces at the Coolidge.

me at 2024 IFFBoston

Congrats to all my pals who had films this year and to the IFFBoston team for swinging it out of the park once again!

For info (and ways to support) IFFBoston

[arytha]

The former great ruins pirate was quick. Before Ruan Xian could speak, he continued, “If I go with you, you’ll get a car. It’s always convenient to have a car. The little profiteer is too arrogant and you two are too whimsical. At a critical moment, at least I can somehow help. The things I have seen are disgusting, but this journey is also quite exciting.” “Mr. Ruan, I still have to say, don’t get too close to humans—” Tang Yibu seized the opportunity to interrupt. “Let’s talk about something unrelated. I still have a lot of Carol Young’s old songs in my car. If we get some fresh ingredients from here, I can cook good food on the road.” Yu Le quickly shot back. Tang Yibu immediately closed his mouth, pretending that he had never said anything.

TANG YIBU BRIBED ✅️✅️

[astrxlfinale]

when does a God become a God? what defines a God? are deities born out of a sum of collective faith, or are they simply complex organisms evolved past the admittedly frustratingly limited understanding of humanity? where does this answer lie? how can she find it? how can she unravel it?

seeker of the flower that withers not permits for this strange indulgence existing only for one. of course, who else would it be, if not her dear assistant? she permits for him to stand close, to explore depths of her concealed to the sight of others. build her altars in your heart, and discover the heart that beats still within. ( from Mei, please go absolutely insane, we love to witness it )

Here they were, surrounded by a touch of the whimsical technology of the station, in many ways, these sterile walls managed to be correlated with a sense of a home away from home. Familiar faces, many events that found themselves, not to mention, it was these same stomping grounds that coalesced a shining thread in his eyes. One to grasp, promising a realm of life never before considered, seen and touched upon to the scale that the one known as Ruan Mei could compose it. Subtle as it'd be to many, countless practically developing a form of worship due to what her mind can compose upon the universe, something between them changed.

He'd be a damn big fool to never see the scale of how much the boons of time and experience forged for them. In that same vein, how his selfishness , the brazen crossing of so many borders have managed to unearth a particularly priceless 'gem.' Humanity, one that shall not be shared to the world with anyone else. (Never in this way.) For the way how her curious eyes battled and fell into ease the current of boundless emotion, it reflected perfectly a heaven of turquoise jade within stellar gold.

What transpires in this moment could be argued as a 'reward', a controlled variable, many ways that the measure of language could offer a lens. Yet to Caelus the reality was much more tender, much more simple as the current experiment found itself freshly finished, proof being found in the way healed scratches and a singed jacket had proven.

Delving into the World of Ruan Mei requires an incredible sense of potential, resolve.

If power gathered was the price to cross each border, to walk a road that needs them to constantly evolve in terms of the soul? He'd wear his pride seamlessly if it meant the sight of this smile, a treasure in it's own would be in his graces.

"Mei. You've been thinkin' about it too?" There's a blunt directness that's practiced, simply their style, often shared to the most amusing, passion filled instances that are forged into new stars. Being able to witness the way her complexion brightens (does she realize how it rivals her other passions?), to catch her curt response, part of him could imagine that fervor filled drive of her's would equally commit to venues that capture the might of her gaze.

This is why they've found themselves stationed underneath the hum of machinery, privacy freely offered due to the wealth of strings they carry and can pulled at anytime.

Make this god in formation before him shine. That was the trailing thought as he'd allow the distance between them to close. "Been on my mind all damn day, one way or another." Shameless words, a sign meant only for her to understand, to remember.

She was the very life that his hands intend to cradle as the Answer. An origin of what was truly important.

This is why the distance was soon driven to nil. The legendary researcher and her assistant to the world, Caelus and Ruan Mei to their bare essence. This is what fueled the tidal wave of passion that collided with the press of their lips, charging him with a wealth of invigoration, of starlit power that rushes through his vein in hand with this delight. With his pace dictating the rhythm, the press would be firm and full, a cosmic pull that aches in revealing how much she needs to be valued by HIS own means.

Hearing the way she gave him a blissful sigh to drink in only stirred that joy deep down. Delicious, and the exact reason to let each and every action be a sign of reverence. Angling his head in order to deepen the embrace of lips, letting those broad hands draw across the divine currents of her body, smoothing both the rich fabric and across her skin all the same, matting that broad touch into holding her hip and another to brace at the slight crescent of her back.

That request of a hot tongue grazing across those pink peach lips was both a request and a promise of what's to come.

@scrtilegii

[normanthedove]

THE RAIL ROADING OF INTERVENTIONAL PAIN SPECIALIST DR. MICHAEL FLETCHER, MD., AS LOWER COURTS SHOW CONTEMPT OF SCOTUS 9-0 RULING IN RUAN vs. UNITED STATES

"The practice of medicine in America has been criminalized by vast government overreach.   Doctors are being intimidated by an ongoing National witch hunt conducted by the US Drug Enforcement Agency.  Some clinicians are leaving practice.  Others are posting prominent notices in their offices, stating that they do not prescribe opioids." 

republished for doctors of blog NORMAN J CLEMENT RPH., DDS, NORMAN L. CLEMENT PHARM-TECH, MALACHI F. MACKANDAL PHARMD, BELINDA BROWN-PARKER, IN THE SPIRIT OF JOSEPH SOLVO ESQ., INC.T. SPIRIT OF REV. IN THE SPIRIT OF WALTER R. CLEMENT BS., MS, MBA. HARVEY JENKINS MD, PH.D., IN THE SPIRIT OF C.T. VIVIAN, JELANI ZIMBABWE CLEMENT, BS., MBA., IN THE SPIRIT OF THE HON. PATRICE LUMUMBA, IN THE SPIRIT…

[very-grownup]

"We are not afraid of a piddly Prefect, who has an order from the Prime Minister to arrest us, because if Cai himself comes here we shall only cut about thirty holes in his body. If we release you, you must not attempt to come here again. You must tell that prick the Prefect that he had better not have another dream like this one. There are no roads here, but I will get my younger brother to show you a way."

Ruan the Seventh got a small light boat, and placing He Tao on board took him to a place where a road started, and then said to him, "You can get away by this road. All the men who came with you have been killed so is it not nice for us to let you go in this way? When the Prefect sees you that asinine thief will laugh at our weakness. I now beg that you will let me have your two ears as a keepsake."

- The Water Margin: Outlaws of the Marsh, Shi Naian

[mobblespsycho100]

ive been having crazy good luck lately in hoyoverse games- I got Furina (5* genshin character) for my guarentee AND THEN won the 50/50 and got Xinyuan (Another new 5* genshin character in like 30 pulls. Then I go onto honkai where I already got Ruan Mei and win the 50/50 to get Black Swan AND the new 4*s. Also i drove into oncoming traffic and no1 was in the road so i was RLLY lucky there

THE LAST ONE!§>£!£>£!£> u dodged cars…

[the-monkey-ruler]

Monkey King and the Imps (1966) 孫悟空大戰群妖

Director: Huang Hesheng Screenwriter: Huang Hesheng Starring: Chen Baozhu / Xiao Fangfang / Watermelon Planer / Hong Hong / Li Hong / Rose Girl / Guan Haishan / Ruan Siu Fai / Mei Xin Genre: Fantasy Country/Region of Production: Hong Kong, China Language: Cantonese Date: 1966-08-03 Also know as: 孙悟空大战群妖 Type: Retelling

Summary:

The Hong Kong movie "The Monkey King vs. the Imps" was produced by Yulian Film Company in 1966. The film is adapted from the literary masterpiece "Journey to the West" written by Wu Cheng'en, directed by Huang Hesheng, and starring Xiao Fangfang, Chen Baozhu, Li Hong, Hong Hong, Méiguī nǚ, Ruan Siu Fai, Guan Haishan, Mei Xin, Xigua Zhao and others.

Turtle Spirit took advantage of the Taishang Laojun's visit to the Queen Mother's birthday banquet, and went to the mortal world in private, pretending to be the Tathagata Buddha in an attempt to intercept Tang Sanzang and his disciples Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie, Sha Wujing, and Bailong Wuzhen who was going to the Western Regions to learn Buddhist scriptures.

In order to eat Tang Sanzang's meat, the Turtle Spirit cast a spell to deceive Monkey King's piercing eyes, making Tang Sanzang and his party mistakenly think that they have arrived at Tianzhu Temple. The four disciples were taken to paradise by the fairies Miao Ci, Miao Shan, Miao Fa, and Miao Xuan respectively, and they were so happy that they forgot to return. Miao Shan drinks alcohol and reveals her original shape, Wukong knows he is deceived. Quickly he asks the juniors to find a way to take the master away, but the Turtle Spirit has already laid a net, and Tang Sanzang is still captured. Wukong fights the goblin with his younger brother Wuzhen, but unfortunately, he couldn't defeat Ruilai's magic weapon and was captured.

In order to save his master, Wuzhen uses the beauty trap to ask Miao Ci for help and Miao Ci fell in love with Wuzhen, secretly releases him, and rescues Wukong. Wukong and Wuzhen ask Guanyin for help, but even though Sun Wukong has seventy-two changes, he still cannot beat the turtle spirit and is caught by Turtle Spririt. In order to save Wuzhen, Miao Ci fled to invite Guanyin but unexpectedly, even Guanyin couldn't subdue him, so the group had to ask the Laozi. They turn the turtle spirit pretending to be the Buddha back to its original form who turned out to be a Yellow-Browed boy under Taishang Laojun. Gaunyin took Miao Ci and others who were kind-hearted into their seats, and Tang Seng and his disciples set out on the road westward again.

Source: https://chinesemov.com/1966/Monkey-King-and-the-Imps

Link: N/A