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#the scene exists... he played it...........
mizu0xox0 · 2 days
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Written before 2.3, also possible spoilers for Boothills backstory as this was based off leaks I saw
Self aware! Boothill who is the least to say pissed at the fact he's a video game character after all he's been through
Self aware! Boothill who gets annoyed at you at first when he heard you when you're playing the story quest but now it's much less annoying well he's come to terms that he'll hear your voice every now and then
Self aware! Boothill who finds it a little amusing when he hears you laugh upon hearing him say things like muddle-fudger, son of a nice lady and forking
Self aware! Boothill finds you to start growing on him and well sure at the start he isn't happy that his suffering was just all for a video game but you weren't in the damn wrong as you weren't aware of his existence
Self aware! Boothill who most definitely feels a little envy if he ever heard you cuss, I mean sure he sounds funny but it's frustrating at times to not to be able to speak his mind properly
Self aware! Boothill who enjoys it if you ever compliment his hat and will most definitely try to show off his hat in between cut scenes since well he's not playable YET
Self aware! Boothill who learns that through leaks you've managed to learn his backstory and when he hears you sounding sad for him well he can't blame you after all he's been through can't he (those pregnant Boothill jokes really backfired hard huh)
Self aware! Boothill who smirks when he hears you ramble about destroying the IPC after hearing his backstory well darn is he sure glad that something else higher then an Aeon took his stand in this
Self aware! Boothill who will find a way to break this annoying darn screen so he can figure out who's pulling the strings well it might not be you but the bonus reward was possibly being able to see you, so just wait and hopefully his bullets manage to shatter this screen
Note: Boothill is kinda starting to grow on me as a character along with Sunday also this was written before Boothills release as a playable character and the 2.3 quest.
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cbrownjc · 2 days
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Spoiler for 2x02 (EPISODE 9) -- And the thing I scream out loud during one scene (and if you are a Devil's Minion fan, you know the scene I'm talking about):
"OH MY GOD ARMAND IS ALICE!!!"
Yes, that is literally what I screamed out loud when we got that quick flashback of Armand back in the 70s talking to Daniel about stealing and selling his dad's Playboy magazines . . . and then the cut back to Armand saying Alice wanted to say yes to his proposal, but didn't trust him.
Armand was basically hinting at what split him and Daniel up which is -- Armand didn't trust Daniel's love for him!
Which, you know, actually fits the book. Because Daniel so badly wanted to be a vampire and was addicted to Armand's blood, Armand would very much feel that once Daniel was turned he'd just run off or something and leave Armand behind -- that Daniel didn't want Armand at all, that he only just to be a vampire and that was it. (Wasn't that scenario in the Rice's Tulane notes, IIRC?)
Which, oh man, when Armand realizes that Daniel did really love him . . . 😩
But anyway, what I mean by Armand being Alice isn't that Alice didn't exist. I do think she does because otherwise there is something off because in Season 1 Daniel calls Alice his first wife. Meaning they did get married . . . unless Daniel has been lying all this time that he and Alice did get married because she really doesn't exist?
Gah! I need more dammit! (I need ep 2x05 now dammit! 🥺)
Anyway, I do think there are LOT of memories in Daniel's head that are truthfully about Armand but have been replaced with Alice to fill in/hide what the actual true memory was, which has been my long-standing theory about all this. But if Alice really does turn out to have never existed . . . and everything about Alice really IS just about Armand but Daniel really can't remember that . . . then what about her pregnancy? Does at least one of his kids not really exist?
. . . and as I just wrote that . . . I have long been thinking that Season 3 in Dubai was going to be very much like the play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And, if you know anything about that play -- particularly the plot point regarding George and Martha's son . . . 😮
Holy shit. . . yeah I think I now know why some reviews of Season 2 were comparing some of it to Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 😧 😮
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dollyyun · 6 hours
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𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍'𝒔 𝒌𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔' 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒚 | part four (jay park)
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SYNOPSIS: You have heard unpleasant things about Jay Park, one of which is his tendency towards violence, which brings you chills as you recall a student who nearly died because of him. You know better than to cross him, and so you ignore him whenever he attempts to speak to you or pesters you by throwing such crude remarks at you, because no matter how much you want to lash out at him, you worry that your words would greatly anger him. Little do you know that your silence and how you disregard his existence have long since angered him. So he decides to teach you a little lesson, making a different approach towards you and eventually you fall for his dark allure ─ one that has you on a delirious high, and yet you find yourself slowly breaking into pieces.
PAIRING: non!idols enha hyung line x fem!reader
GENRE: 18+ (mdni), semi-college au, adulthood, reverse harem, dark themes.
WARNINGS: fem!reader is a saint(good girl), mentions of christianity, bullying, smoking, mention of drug usage, alcohol consumption, profanities, slight yandere, possessive, manipulation, bullying, assault, angst, obsession, corruption, toxicity, mild violence, harddom!jay (kinda), name calling (whore, brat, baby), masturbation, smut, unprotected sex (no!), mirror sex, mild rough sex, vanilla sex, use of sex toy, oral (f.receiving), ice play, nipple play, bondage, fingering, pussy eating, cum eating, slight choking, spanking, missionary, manhandling, orgasm denial, crying (lots), overstimulation, squirting, breeding kink, multiple orgasms, multiple sex scene, jay is obsessed with reader's boobs.
WORD COUNT: 33.9k
FEATURING: enha maknae line, txt, le sserafim, ive, aespa.
DISCLAIMER: this fic is inspired by devil's night series written by penelope douglas! also, i am not a Christian, and i didn't bother to do thorough research on the religion, so pardon any false facts or errors.
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3.1, PART 3.2
PLAYLIST: Heartless - The Weeknd, Reminder - The Weeknd, Moth To A Flame - The Weeknd, Hurt My Feelings - Tate McRae, Guilty As Sin - Taylor Swift, Close To You (tbr) - Gracie Abrams, The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez, Kiss It Better - Rihanna, Collide - Justine Skye, Right Here - Chase Atlantic, Supernatural - Ariana Grande.
RUBY'S NOTE: Decided to release early. Even though it's clearly flawed, I hope this is as decent as the other parts. Enjoy reading :)
🖤 SERIES MASTERLIST 🖤
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Jay doesn’t want to admit it, but maybe his best friend was right.
With each step Jay advances towards the garage, the sound of your mellifluous voice and chuckles seems to infuriate him, especially as he can vividly recall your infectious yet sultry giggles when you were dancing intimately with him, your fingers in his hair, and your ass pressing up against his bulge on Devil’s Night.
Entering the garage stealthily, his sharp gaze instinctively settles on you, to which his lips curl into a disdainful sneer as he watches how animated your eyes are with pellucid adoration, staring into Sunghoon’s eyes. Sunghoon seems to be saying something witty with a cocky smirk playing on his lips as he stares down at you, whereas you look slightly meek with your dimpled cheeks turning rosier while your smile seems bashful.
The familiar green imbues the red within him as his steely eyes watch you lean your body slightly forward with your sultry gaze at Sunghoon, your fingers making their ascent to trace the lines of his abdominal muscles since his upper body is bare of any clothes while Sunghoon reciprocates your attempt at flirting.
Jay’s eyes begin to rake all over your body shamelessly. You are simply donning a white shirt that looks big on your figure as the length reaches around your plush thighs, most probably Sunghoon’s. As you remain securely seated on top of Sunghoon’s sleek bike, which is splattered with droplets of water, the shirt hikes up way above your thighs, allowing tight-fitting black shorts to peek.
Jay can feel his dick going completely erected as it pokes through his pants. Damn it. If only you weren’t so hot, then he wouldn’t be as bothered as he is now by your detachment towards him. 
Of course, Jay took umbrage at this because no woman has ever ignored his existence the way you do. Not only did you ignore his crude remarks anytime he pestered you during the two previous days, but you just simply looked past him, as if he were invisible, even when he was in your line of sight.  Consequently, the way you are now provokes an ire that he has been repressing for a considerable amount of time.
Truth be told, Jay has long since noticed you since freshman year, but he couldn’t be bothered to make any sort of approach towards you since he heard about how boring and dull you were from the nebby peers of his. Plus, since he’s an international business major, he rarely came across your paths due to the fact that his department was situated further from yours. Nevertheless, he knew of your existence.
Sure, you looked rather cute and chic in the way you dressed, particularly the satin piece you used to tie your hair, but that’s just it. Although Jay can recall that there was a moment of time where he did find you intriguing, you didn’t evoke any salaciousness in him the way the other girls did.
But unlike Sunghoon, Jay didn’t harbour any hatred, nor did he harbour any feelings for you. He simply didn’t give a fuck about you.
Besides, at that point in time, you weren’t his to pursue, and he didn’t dare to, not when you had long since caught the attention of a certain someone. To this day, Jay finds it ridiculous that the aforementioned didn’t initiate preying on you first, but nevertheless, you’ll be his for the taking soon enough.
The sound of your giggles draws his attention back to you, and a muscle pulses in his jaw at the sight of you in a heated lip-lock with Sunghoon. It takes every ounce of self-restraint for Jay to march over and break you two apart. Not only does he feel aggrieved towards you, but towards Sunghoon and Jake as well.
Sunghoon and Jake should be on his side, and they should be acting according to the plan, but why do they seem to be enjoying the fact that they have you smitten over them more than they should? It’s like they are taking advantage of your apparent attachment to them by clinging to you and preventing Jay from getting alone time with you for the past two days.
Yes, you are now considered a regular in this magnificent palace with its walls embedded with secrets from the pursuits of the past and even before their time. For the past two days you have been here, Jay has tried almost everything to get your attention, even throwing crude remarks at you, but maybe it had to do with the two leeches, whom he regards as his best friends, who were always there by your side, so they gave you a sense of reassurance that Jay wouldn’t dare do anything to you as long as they’re next to you.
Oh, were they wrong, because once he has you all alone, you wouldn’t be able to ignore him just as you always do.
“So you’re being a creepy fuck now?” Jake’s breath hits his ear from behind, prompting Jay to look over his shoulder with a scowl etched on his face, whereas Jake remains smirking.
“Screw off, and while you’re at it, tell Hoon to screw off too.” Jay’s tongue hits the root of his mouth. “You two had your time. She’s mine for the taking now.”
“Jay, Jay.” Jake's faux sigh of empathy as he shakes his head seems to ignite the flames within Jay significantly. “You’ve got to let a woman take her time to be naturally drawn to you.”
“How is she supposed to do that when you and Hoon keep hogging her all to yourselves?” The volume of Jay’s voice seems to shatter the heated lip-lock between you and Sunghoon, prompting them to look at Jay and Jake.
However, Jay remains in a glaring contest with a smirking Jake, undeterred by the fact that he has your attention now. “I don’t give a fuck. She’s off limits now.”
“Or you’ll what?” Jake tilts his chin up in defiance, and the mockery is evident in his countenance. “You’re gonna bitch and whine to Heeseung about it? Like you always do?”
Usually, Jay would go along to keep up the banter with Jake, but this time, it is as though something inside of him snaps completely, resulting in him acting in retaliation. In a blink of an eye, Jay finds himself raising his fist and landing it into Jake’s jaw, sending the latter to stagger steps back.
“Dude! What the fuck?!” Jake holds his aching jaw, and the storms in his eyes match Jay’s.
On the other side, Sunghoon’s grasps on your shoulders loosen as he watches his best friends with calculated eyes, aware of the broiling tension between them. He looks down at you sternly. “Wait here.” He orders before leaving you, but you refuse, and you end up trailing behind him anyway.
“At least I wasn’t the one who fucked his own best friend.” Jay’s tone is laced with resentment and utter disgust. He scoffs out a smirk at the look in Jake’s eyes. “Oh yeah. I knew about it. So much for brotherly love, huh?”
“Shut the fuck up.” Jake growls out as he clenches his fist, completely livid.
Sunghoon is nearing them with the intention of preventing things from escalating further. “Guys─”
But Jay ignores Sunghoon, driven by his rage to taunt Jake. “Right, does your lovely know about it?” Jay asks with a sneer. The mockery dripping in his tone seems to draw your attention as he meets your puzzling eyes. “Did you know that your lover boy here broke the code by fucking his best friend─”
Jay has long seen it coming, and he braces himself for Jake’s imminent wrath as the latter lunges for him, but disappointment dawns when Sunghoon steps in between them with one hand pressed against Jake’s chest while the other’s against Jay’s, easily stopping them with his strength despite the fact that they are equally strong as him.
“Look at yourselves. You guys look like fucking idiots figthing each other, and for what?” Sunghoon’s tone indicates his vexation for the two raging alphas. 
“He started it first.” Jake spits out, and his patent wrath has you flinching lightly because you have never seen him so livid, yet there is a distinct hurt in his storming gaze. “Jay’s being a petty bitch just because he failed to get Y/N’s attention from us.”
This time, you frown and take a step forward. “What?”
The sound of your voice pulls Jay’s attention to you, and your frown only deepens while your eyes hold an odium for him. Not only does it add fuel to his resentment towards you, but he finds it bizarre that the stinging pain crosses his chest as though a long needle has pierced into his tainted heart the way you are staring at him.
Jake roughly pushes himself away from Sunghoon, his aching jaw goes clenched, completely desisting himself from returning the favour by punching Jay’s face. “And for the record, it was a drunken mistake. So fuck you for using that against me.”
“Jaeyun.” You grasp your nerving courage as you prudently walk towards him. Surprisingly, he doesn’t protest or anything, as he allows you to hold his hand. Your other hand reaches up to cradle the cusp of his jaw lightly, careful enough not to come into contact with the area where he got punched.
You frown upon seeing a faint bruise on his skin. It seems that your touch balms his wrath as his eyes soften with each passing second before they meet your concerned ones. “Let’s get you a bag of ice.” You say softly, tugging at his hand.
Oddly compliant, Jake nods his head, and you take this as a signal to pull him with you, but not before shooting one last glare at Jay and finally proceeding to depart from the garage.
“Seriously, what the fuck is going on with you?” Sunghoon continues to express his disapproval, watching with callous eyes as Jay pulls out a small, familiar device from his pocket before inhaling the flavorful aerosol. “I thought you had your anger under control.”
Jay scoffs out with the grey mist leaving his lips. “Sue me for losing control, then. Let’s not forget that you and the bastard wouldn’t even leave her side, leeching onto her like lovesick fools.” Each word he spits out comes out of sheer disgust, which mirrors the jealousy brimming in his veins. “Have you forgotten the most important part of the rule?”
“No, I haven’t.” Sunghoon strongly asserts himself, but even he knows that he has grown rather attached to you.
“Says the guy who brought the library back to life just for her, and you dare to profess that you’re not entirely attached to her?” Jay’s disparaging remark causes Sunghoon to clench his jaw, suddenly finding him more insufferable than usual.
“Look, I’m not in the mood to entertain your dickhead behaviour, but the way you are being right now only shows Y/N the more reason she should be staying away from you.” Sunghoon points out.
“So why the fuck has she been ignoring me even before this, then?” Jay clicks his tongue in annoyance. “She wasn’t like this on Devil’s Night when I danced with her.”
“No idea, but since you disgustingly reek of desperation for Y/N’s attention, I’ll inform Jake to keep our distance from her for now.” Sunghoon smirks as soon as Jay shoots him a scowl. “Now kiss my foot and show me some gratitude.”
“Fuck off.” Jay scoffs, now keeping the e-cigarette back in his pocket. “And what do you mean ‘for now’? You two had your turns, and as soon as I’m done with her, she’s his for the taking.”
“Speaking of,” Sunghoon pauses, seeming hesitant, to which Jay’s eyebrow arches. “Did Jake and Heeseung really─”
“Yeah. They did.” Jay cuts him off rather calmly. The prior indignation slowly diminishes upon drifting to the shocking revelation he discovered months ago, but it only resurfaces in his mind due to Jake’s provocation that serves as a trigger. 
“Wow, fucking hell.” Sunghoon breathes out, his fingers running through his raven strands while chuckles of disbelief emit from him. “How did you find out about them anyway?”
“Beomgyu.” Jay answers briefly, but the look in Sunghoon’s eyes elicits an annoyed sigh from him before he elaborates. “He saw them, but I didn’t want to believe him at first, so I confronted Heeseung about it, and he said it was true.”
“Damn. So that probably explains why they’ve always been closer with each other than they are with us.” Sunghoon’s contortion is neutral, so Jay is unable to decipher his judgement on the revelation.
“Maybe. Then again, they’ve always been closer.” Jay shrugs his shoulders, feeling entirely indifferent.
“Yeah, but haven’t you realised yet that Heeseung has a soft spot for him?” Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “He has always shown more leniency towards Jake than us.”
“Then have your first fuck with him.” Jay states bluntly. “No doubt he’ll develop a soft spot for you too.”
Sunghoon’s scowl deepens as he roughly shoves Jay in the shoulder, to which the latter doesn’t feel affected by his strength. “Fuck off. I’m not gay.”
“It’s fine if you are. No judgement here.” Jay casts him a lazy smirk, shoving one hand inside his pocket before eventually making his departure from the garage, with Sunghoon trailing behind him.
“You’re a dickhead, you know that?” Sunghoon falls on the same steps as him, now entering the palace. “Wait, does this mean that Jake is─?”
“Who knows?” Jay sighs loudly as the mention of Jake’s name annoys him as though there’s a mosquito buzzing around him incessantly. “I don’t give a fuck about him or his sexuality, but remember, Hoon, she’s off limits to both of you now.”
“Okay, geez. She’s all yours!” Sunghoon puts his hands up in faux defence, as evident by the mockery smile on his countenance. “Predatorial much? Don’t forget that she’s not only yours, because at the end of the day, she remains our prey.”
Jay simply disregards Sunghoon as his attention is drawn to you, watching you tend to Jake by the living room as you press the bag of ice to his cheek while you remain seated on his lap with his arms encasing your waist, as though he refuses to let you go anytime soon. The thought of it elicits a small scoff from Jay.
Seriously, just who do you think you are? Even the retired fuckboy Park Sunghoon, whom Jay knows too well that Sunghoon doesn’t give a damn about the girl after the fucking, seems to be disgustingly smitten over you with his blatant display of affection.
It is as though you have bewitched them by some sort of spell, and Jay has every intention to find out just what makes you so fucking special.
As Jay looks over to you and Jake once more, kissing each other and giggling with your faces beaming, a smirk touches his lips as his dark, twisted mind has formulated a scheme that obviously involves you. Soon enough, you won’t be able to resist him, and you’ll eventually forget about Sunghoon and Jake.
“By the way, she’s a crybaby.” Sunghoon’s abrupt statement causes Jay to blink his eyes in surprise.
“A pretty crier, I suppose.” Jay drawls out, his lips curving into a smirk.
Sunghoon mirrors his smirk, his hand tapping Jay’s shoulder. “Just don’t make her cry unless it’s out of pleasure.”
Jay merely hums in return, his eyes zeroing in on the perfect arch of your back as Jake kisses you deeply. “That’s what I do best.”
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Two days of pure bliss have passed by more expeditiously than you expected. In between the gratification both Sunghoon and Jake gave you, there were moments where you felt the air of intimacy with them that awakened butterflies in your tummy ─ how Sunghoon accompanied you to the palace’s library and waited for you despite his distaste for libraries while his fingers played and twirled with your soft tendrils as he watched you read, how Jake would listen attentively to you and give you his remarks while hugging you close to his chest in his bed.
Other than the sex with them that ascended you to cloud nine, you appreciate and cherish those sweet moments of different intimacies that brought you trainquilly. It is ironic how you should be alarmed and sever any ties you have with them, especially knowing what they are capable of and the fact that Sunghoon hates you, or at least not anymore. They are more than capable of killing you, but you have decided to bare your soul to them, willing to be pliant for them.
Like a moth to a flame, it is impossible for you to disregard your yearning for them, as you will always find yourself returning to them. They have ignited something within you that renders you completely deprived whenever you drift from them any longer, which is exactly why you are turning sulky as you continue to insert whines in between at this exact moment.
“But why?” You ask again, pacing back and forth in the living room with your phone pressed against your ear, whereas Karina can be seen exiting the kitchen. “Why won’t I be seeing you and Jaeyun tomorrow?”
“Because I said so.” Sunghoon’s smug tone draws a small scowl from your countenance before you hear him sigh. “If I had known you were this clingy…”
The annoyance you detect in his tone as he mumbles has your heart stinging with pain, prompting you to halt your steps. “You think I’m clingy?” You dare to ask in a timorous voice despite being apprehensive of his possible snarky response. 
“Yeah, I mean, you’re practically acting as if you’re my girlfriend when you’re not. Besides, did we not see each other just earlier today?” Sunghoon grumbles in annoyance, which only disheartens you. “It turns me off when a girl is so fucking clingy.”
You feel a painful lump forming in your throat while the back of your eyes burn, hating the detachment in his tone — nothing in comparison to how he spoke to you for the past few days. “But I thought you liked me─”
You hear a commotion in the background on the line. “Gotta go, princess. I’ll see you soon.”
Just like that, he hangs up without catching onto the words you spoke in a splintered whisper. With a tightened grip, you slowly lower your phone, and your crestfallen eyes catch Karina’s attention as she has been watching you by the kitchen.
“You okay?” Karina inquires softly, pulling your attention to the raven haired across from you. In return, you can only afford to give her a faint smile, but that doesn’t assure her. “So….I heard Jake’s name. You’re friends with him and Sunghoon now?”
But before you can answer her, another voice interrupts. “Y/N friends with who now?”
Ah, you should have known that Yunjin and Wonyoung had been together in Yunjin’s room, no doubt they were probably gossiping about you since you pissed off Wonyoung by ignoring her calls the other day.
Despite the weight of their gazes that feels heavy on your shoulders, you remain rooted to the ground instead of cowering, your chin is tilted up in defiance. “Nothing that concerns you.” Your curt tone brings a scowl to Wonyoung’s face. “I’ll be heading to my room.”
“Oh no, you’re not, not unless you come clean to us by confessing that you did what you did.” Wonyoung’s vehemence stops you from resigning yourself to your comfort zone.
“What could I have possibly done that greatly offended you?” You ask, displaying your exasperation.
“I saw you and Sunghoon by the pool at Yeonjun’s pool party.” Yunjin speaks up, her tone is unwavering, which matches the resolve in her hazel eyes. “You were fucking him out in the open for anyone to stumble upon.”
“Just what the hell were you thinking?” Wonyoung unhooks her arm from Yunjin's, and her dark eyes penetrate into yours, leaving you flinching at the apparent disgust in them. “Seriously? Park Sunghoon out of all people?!”
“Just let this drop, Wonyoung.” This time, you are taken aback by Karina’s stern yet pissed-off tone as she steps forward, unyielding in defending you. “It’s a fucking pool party. People were bound to do all sorts of things.”
Wonyoung scoffs loudly in disbelief. “I blame you, Rina. If you hadn’t been so encouraging, then Y/N wouldn’t have turned out to be a─”
“A what?” The tone in your voice sounds unrecognisable, even to you, as it is resonating enough to silence them. A muscle pulses in your jaw, with your eyes glaring heatedly into Wonyoung while you clench a fist. “Come on. Say it. I know that you were going to say that I’m a slut.”
“An insufferable bitch who homie hopped between the very two leaders we’ve warned you to stay away from!” Wonyoung exclaims, and the familiar stinging hurt in your chest doesn’t even dissuade you from the resentment you harbour for her.
With how hard you are clenching your fist, your nails dig into your palms, forming shapes of crescents that are reflections of the emotions glaring in your nearly tear-filled eyes. “If I’m such an insufferable bitch, as you asserted, then why bother confronting me? Why even bother calling me?”
“Because we still care enough about you.” Yunjin interjects, and although she feels the same vehementness as Wonyoung, her approach towards you is different from Wonyoung. Her tone sounds undoubtedly stern, but a discernible softness is detectable. “Y/N, we don’t want you to pursue this path─”
“The knights’ leaders are not the kind of people you would want to associate yourself with.” Wonyoung struggles to maintain decorum, you can see it. “You have no idea what they are capable of. They’re bad people.”
“You don’t know them like I do.” You retort, feeling offended and defensive. “I don’t know about the others, but I can assure you that Sunghoon and Jake are not bad people. Even if they are, who is to say that I can’t change them?”
“Do you even hear yourself? Change them? Are you that delusional? They are incapable of change!” Wonyoung declares fiercely, seething with resentment for the way you are entirely unrecognisable in her eyes. “You are too far gone, Y/N. Your foolish endeavours with them end now.”
“No.” You object calmly. “I’m not about to allow you to dictate my life choices, not anymore.”
“She’s right.” Karina interjects, but this earns her glares from both Wonyoung and Yunjin. “It’s about time we stopped babying her, girls. She’s a grown woman, just like us. For how long are you going to keep sheltering her and dictating her life choices?”
“It seems to us that you don’t care about Y/N enough.” Yunjin states coldly, eliciting a scoff from Karina.
“Unbelievable. You know what? I have had enough of you two chastising Y/N for doing what we all did or still do, and she is a fucking grown woman who has free will at that.” Karina shoots them a glare before storming off to her room with the door slamming loudly closed.
“See? Even Karina understands, so why can’t the two of you?” You break the ice, drawing their attention.
“You’re mixing with the wrong company, Y/N.” Yunjin’s grave tone deepens your frown. “We only want what’s best for you.”
“It’s okay, Yunjin. If Y/N still refuses, then we’ll just have to inform her mother.” Wonyoung’s statement elicits a disbelieving gasp from you.
Your eyes harden. “You wouldn’t.” 
Wonyoung's mockery smile causes your eye to twitch. “Oh, yes, I would. So unless you want your beloved mother to find out about your recent misconduct, then you’ll cease this foolishness.”
“Screw you! I’m not a kid!” You burst out, no longer holding back your tears. “You talk so confidently about how the leaders are not good people as though you really know them, so does that mean you’ve slut around with them the way I do?” A derisive chuckle elicits from you as you wipe the tears away from your cheeks. “Or maybe you’re just jealous that I got their attention instead of you?”
Wonyoung snaps with the veins protruding from her neck. “Because I don’t want you to end up like Ji─” She holds herself back as soon as Yunjin holds her arm, which goes unnoticed by you as you are occupied wiping your tears. You hear her sighing, exhaustion drips from her tone. “Just stop being so difficult and promise us that you won’t associate with any of them anymore.”
“I like them.” You blurt out your true feelings for them as they surface. “I like Sunghoon and Jake, so if that makes me a slut, then so be it, because I have never been happier than I am now.”
“Then you leave us no choice.” Yunjin’s disappointment causes your chest to feel constricted. “We’ve tried warning you countless times, but you chose to be stubborn, all because you’re utterly delusional and blind to the fact that they’re toying with you.”
“Just what happened to you, Y/N Kang?” You hate the way Wonyoung is staring at you with no traces of the prior anger and resentment — just pure disappointment that pulls the strings painfully in your heart.
“Have you ever thought that maybe it’s time I finally grew out of my shell?” You ask rhetorically, and your voice comes out quiet this time. “I just want to be like you girls, to experience the thrill and the fun that I missed out on, all because I wasn’t brave enough.”
“But not like this.” Wonyoung shakes her head. “You were supposed to be the good one.”
“So I’m not good now? Is that what you’re implying?” You scoff out. “Just because I slept with them, I’m the bad guy now.”
“This is exactly what I meant by you being an insufferable bitch.” Wonyoung says coldly. “Whatever happens next, just don’t come running to me in tears, because I won���t be there for you anymore. I’m done.”
You try your best not to be deflated by her icy glare on your face before she turns her back on you, trudging to her room. Yunjin doesn’t bother to spare another glance at you, as though she is disgusted by the sight of you as she follows suit.
You sniffle, wiping away the remnants of tears on your cheek, before feeling vibrations from your phone in your grasp. Bringing your attention to your phone screen, you manage to crack a small smile as you read his text response to your last message.
JAEYUN: Of course, you’ll always be my girl, lovely. Just hang in there, and you’ll be back in my arms in no time.
Even just by reading his text, it’s enough for you to swoon over him, which subsequently allows you to forget whatever happened with your best friends earlier. Maybe Wonyoung was right. Maybe you are too far gone, deviating from the codes you were supposed to retain and act upon.
Evidently, you are guilty as sin, but at least you’re Jake’s girl and Sunghoon’s princess at the end of the day.
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The next day, you decide to attend non-mandatory classes for some clarifications in which you inquire to your professors since you are still driven to ace your exams despite your recent ventures. At least your motivation for academics remains consistent.
Plus, you needed some distraction from the massive dispute between you and your best friends. You recall when you crossed paths with Wonyoung and Yunjin earlier, just when you were about to head out of your dorm, and it was no surprise that they gave you cold shoulders, to which you reciprocated despite the strings pulled painfully in your heart.
“There will be no classes for you to attend tomorrow and Friday, as next Monday will be the start of your exam week.” Your professor announces to the whole class. Much to your surprise, most of your classmates are present, studying and working diligently since exams are around the corner.
As soon as your professor begins her dismissal, you pack your belongings into your bag before rising from your seat to make your way to the door in haste. Busily taking out your cherry-flavoured lollipop from the pocket of your skirt and unwrapping it, you fail to be attentive to your surroundings, resulting in you bumping into a manly back, and the instant his familiar, strong cologne pervades your senses, your breath catches in your throat.
Feeling the weight of his gaze on your face, you slowly look up to meet his dark gaze, and with the familiar black cap adorned on his head, it’s hard for you to decipher the inexplicable sentiments gleaming in his eyes. But then again, he has always been indecipherable.
You notice the way his eyes flicker down at the unwrapped red lollipop in your grasp, and his lips, whose bottom is adorned with the familiar lip ring, unfurl a soft smirk that has your heart going pitter-patter.
“Do you have one more?” His husky voice has your stomach tightening, an effect that he has on you even when you hate to admit it.
“Y-Yeah.” You stutter, your trembling hand goes shoving into your pocket to grab another of the same-flavoured lollipop, which you intended to save for later since you’ll be doing more studying at your usual spot by the campus foyer.
But since it’s him asking, you would rather play it safe than reject him.
You give him the lollipop, but the moment your fingers gently brush against his cold ones, you immediately retract your hand. You swear you can feel some sort of electricity for a fleeting moment through mere skin contact.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” He says so softly, but the smirk on his lips persists as he inserts the lollipop into his mouth while his eyes rake all over you for one last time before walking away from you.
Although you have finally released the breath you hold back, your stomach churns with uneasiness at the harmless yet familiar endearment. The way he said it sounded uncannily similar to one of your predators on Devil’s Night. White.
You shake your head, not wanting to dwell on the matter further since it would only affect your already dampened mood. The lollipop in your mouth salves the remnants of your uneasiness, with your tongue swirling and savouring the familiar cherry flavour. Before you can resume your journey to the campus foyer, you hear a voice that shatters your moment of solitude.
“Y/N.”
The sound of his voice only serves as motivation for you to pick up the pace while you remove the lollipop from your mouth and grip the stick.
“Y/N!”
Your heart rate accelerates as you are prepared to skedaddle, but as soon as his hand has a firm hold on your arm, he seizes any opportunity for you to flee him, forcing you to turn around to meet his callous gaze that makes you want to recoil.
His tongue hits the roof of his mouth, entirely dissatisfied with you. “Is this how you want to fucking play now?”
“I’m not playing anything with you.” Though you manage to voice it out, a flicker of fear is noticeable in your tone that parallels your shaky pupils staring directly into his dark eyes. You attempt to yank your arm from his hold, but his deathly grip elicits a small whimper from you. “Let go of me, Jay.”
A cruel smirk is drawn on his stark countenance. “So you do know my name, which also means that you do remember what happened on Devil’s Night between us.”
Of course, you know him, and of course you remember what happened on Devil’s Night so vividly that you desperately want to erase a distinct memory of you dancing and grinding against him wantonly despite knowing that you were not entirely sober.
In your delirium, you had completely forgotten that you should have evaded Jay Park, otherwise known as Park Jongseong, after hearing all of the unpleasant things about him, including his tendency towards brutality, of which you recall a male student who nearly died because of him just a few months ago and is most probably still in a comatose state.
Yes, you have known that each devil’s knight is capable of committing deplorable acts such as murder after witnessing Devil’s Night, and you’ve seen firsthand when Jake mercilessly killed your bullies or when Sunghoon finished off Kim Namgil, but for some reason, Jay terrifies you more than Jake and Sunghoon do.
Maybe it has something to do with the entire bad boy facade of his — often clad in an attire that displays the full tattoos inked glaringly on his left arm to his fingers, the vertical left eyebrow piercing while his right eyebrow has a slit, the noticeable scar on his bottom lip, and his dark callous eyes that are piercing enough to unnerve you —  just everything about him, be it his appearance or his attitude, repels you.
As the son of an esteemed CEO and whose family line are direct descendants of one of the royal families in SoKor, the authority and power he wields are unrivalled, especially to a student like you, so you know better than to draw his attention or to cross him unless you want to end up like those students whom he preyed on and even had some expel from the university in the past.
Hence, you decided to ignore him for the past few days you’ve been to their palace whenever he attempted to speak to you or even pestered you by throwing crude remarks at you. Despite the nonchalance on your facade, only God knew how badly you wanted to lash out at him, but you maintained decorum and continued to disregard his existence as you worried your words would greatly anger him.
“What do you want?” You ask in a whimper as you avoid his gaze, your arm becoming numb from his deathly grip.
You hear him scoffing. “What do I want?” Every bit of his touch feels ruthless, maybe even more than Sunghoon’s, as he pins you against the wall, your face side-planted on the surface, allowing you to catch a glimpse of the cruelty etched on his face from your peripheral vision.
He has one hand locking your arms together on your lower back while the other is on the wall next to your head, preventing you from making any form of escape or even struggling. Your pulse drums louder in your ears as soon as you feel him closing in from behind, feeling his hot breath tickling your earlobe.
“What I want is for you to stop acting like you’re better than everyone else, better than me, when you should know that you’re beneath me.” His gravelly, deep voice resonates down your core, evoking dread and apprehension about what he may have in store for you. “You thought you could get away after glaring at me yesterday because I punched your boy toy?” 
“He’s not my boy toy.” You declare, albeit your voice is shaking unnervingly.
His dark, condescending chuckles spring the dread in your spine. “Oh really? If he’s not, then why have you been fucking around with Sunghoon as well?” He asks with a sardonic grin, relishing your palpable fear for him. “Hopping between my best friends and spreading your legs for them. Tsk. Just one man is never going to be enough for you, yeah?”
“J-Jay─” You gasp as soon as he turns you around, slamming you against the wall with both hands pinned above your head, rendering you entirely helpless as he ominously looms over you. The students walking in your vicinity are not even deterred by you getting assaulted, minding their own business since they know better than to meddle with Jay’s business.
“Do you know what you are? A fucking whore, that’s what.” His tone holds such anger and animosity while his chiselled jaw goes clenching. “You claimed to be the Catholic girl who is all pure and saintly, but in reality you’re just like other girls, and maybe even worse, because you always need two dicks to stuff you full.”
Despite the fact that his words shoot venomous arrows into your heart, you ignore a subtle stirring feeling of arousal that is ignited by his degradation. You silently berate yourself, and you blame Sunghoon for the reason you developed that specific kink.
Rallying your nerves that go erratic everywhere in a maelstrom before shoving them into a bundle, you muster courage to retaliate against him as you glare at him. “Who I spread my legs for is not in any of your business.”
Jay raises his eyebrow, slightly amused by your newfound tenacity, and he ignores the fact that he does find you adorable in the way you are glaring at him, akin to a bunny attempting to intimidate its predator.
“Oh yeah, it is. You’re my fucking business now, and when I tell you to do something, it’s a direct order. Now,” He pauses as his eyes flicker at the lollipop remaining in your grasp before snatching it to shove into your mouth. “Rule number one: No Jake or Sunghoon, and by that I meant no seeing them or even mentioning their names.”
“What?” You manage to utter your disbelief despite the lollipop in your mouth. “You don’t own me! You don’t get to tell me what to do─”
“Rule number two,” He cuts you off with a cold snarl. His face is now close to yours, allowing you to catch a whiff of his cigarette and cologne scent. “Don’t fucking ignore me the way you did, and don’t be insufferably defiant.”
The prior tenacity becomes tenfold, causing your chest to heave up and down while the anger sizzles through your veins, fueling your resentment for the man you should be fearing. You don’t know what possesses you, but the second a newfound vigour comes to surface, you grasp it quickly before utilising it to break free from his grip.
“I do whatever I want. Who even are you to dictate what I do?” You retaliate, taking him by surprise once more with your vehemence.
Jay inwardly chuckles. So the renowned, soft-spoken good girl does have a fiery spirit in her after all. Damn, and here he thought that he would have you bend down for him so easily.
“I’m Jay Park, and I can easily have you expelled from the university.” He smirks, gazing dangerously at you, which has you instantaneously reevaluating your previous actions. “But since you strongly insisted so, then I guess I’ll have to resort to another alternative.”
Confused, a frown pulls down your lips. “What?”
In a blink of an eye, Jay grabs a hold of the silver cross that has been resting on your chest before snatching it hard, to which you feel a prickling pain around your nape, which elicits a wince from you.
Your eyes widen in disbelief as the clasp is broken before you attempt to lunge for him to seize your precious necklace back in your possession. “Hey! Give it back!” You tip-toe and jump lightly, your hand reaching for the necklace in his clenched fist as he holds it high. You silently curse for being shorter than him.
Jay simply smirks down at you, enjoying with cruel fascination the sight of your eyes glistening with desperation and panic. He scoffs lightly. It’s just a stupid cross necklace, so why are you looking as though your life depends on that necklace?
“It’s not funny, Jay!” You jump again, but this time, you lose your balance, resulting in you stumbling into his chest, but he reflexively holds you steady against him with his arm slithering around your waist.
“On the contrary, it is.” He chuckles breathily while you become frigid in his possession. You ignore the tingles dancing delightfully on your skin from the sensation of his strong arm around your waist and how you are leaning dependently into him with your clenched fists on his chest.
You attempt to separate from him, but he only tightens his arm, and his dark gaze compels you to focus on him, noticing his austere countenance. He lowers his hand just slightly enough to capture your attention, with the silver cross dangling in the air as it glimmers under the artificial lights in your vicinity.
“This will remain in my possession for as long as I want to.” He states calmly.
“No.” You shake your head, holding back your tears as you release a small whimper. “I’ll give you anything else, but just not my necklace, please.” You implore.
Jay scoffs, finding you pathetic. “What could you possibly have to give me? Money? We both know that you can’t afford to give me a single penny.” His condescending tone drips with mockery, colouring your cheeks in humiliation.
“Why are you doing this?” You ask thickly in a whisper, forcing yourself to swallow an emotional lump in your throat, or else you’ll burst out in waterworks.
“I have a few reasons, but the top of it all is that you fucking pissed me off.�� His eyes flicker to the lollipop stick in the corner of your lips, to which he grabs the stick and pulls it away from your mouth. “Don’t worry. I won’t be throwing away your necklace. Just for safekeeping, until you finally stop being as defiant as you were earlier. I’m not that mean, angel.”
You watch with a gaping mouth as he doesn’t hesitate to insert the lollipop into his mouth, genuinely dumbfounded that he doesn’t seem to be the slightest bothered by the exchange of saliva.
“Now you know better, yeah?” Jay casts you another smirk as he removes his arm from your waist to pat your head like you’re a kid before ambling away from you.
With a disheartened spirit, you drag your feet in the opposite direction, losing all motivation to revise and wanting to wallow in the confines of your room, where no one can ever hurt or torment you.
You sniffle, rubbing your dreary yet glistening eyes. You thought Sunghoon was the cruellest of them all, but Jay proved you wrong.
Taking out your phone from your pocket, you scroll through your contacts, heeding your instinct and tapping on his contact. You press your phone against your ear, hoping that he will answer your call.
To your surprise, he does. “Hey, lovely. Didn’t I say before to refrain from calling me for the time being?” Butterflies flutter in your tummy at how his voice sounds deeply husky, as though he has just woken from a nap.
“Jaeyun.” You utter his name weakly with quivering lips, yearning for his warmth and comfort.
You hear some shuffles in the background. “What’s wrong?” He sounds alarmed just by hearing the tone in your voice.
“Can you come over to my dorm?” You ask tentatively while grappling with your emotions, which are going haywire once more. The fact that your precious necklace, which was gifted by your father, is now in Jay’s possession makes you hypersensitive.
His soft sigh only seems to dishearten you more. “I don’t know if I can.”
“Please. I need you.” You implore in a whimper, your hand clutching your phone tight until white paints your knuckles. “It’s about Jay─”
“I’m on my way.”
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With the silver cross dangling in the air as his fingers grip the necklace, Jay stares at it oddly while his lips curl into a disdainful sneer. He finds your attachment to this meaningless necklace simply stupid, and yet a flicker of curiosity is there, wondering what sort of attachment you have to this necklace since he has always seen you wearing it.
Jay remains unmoving, seated on the couch that is pressed up against the wall in their garage, when he hears footsteps approaching towards him.
“You’re up for some sparring with me and Heeseung?” Sunghoon inquires, standing in front of Jay, prompting the latter to glance at him, who is only adorned in sweatpants while his porcelain skin sheens with dampness due to perspiration.
“Nah, I’m good.” Jay declines, his eyes drifting to Heeseung entering the garage in his usual tight-fitting gym attire. It seems that both of them came from the gym since it is situated in the palace, just a three-minute walk from the garage.
“New necklace?” Sunghoon asks with an eyebrow arched, but as soon as he sees the familiar silver cross, recognition flickers in his gaze. “That’s Y/N’s. Why do you have it?”
“Because I can.” Jay answers with a lazy grin. “Why? Are you jealous that I have something that belongs to her and you don’t?”
Sunghoon snorts a chuckle. “Why would I be jealous when I have something even better?” His hand slides into his pocket to grab something before showing Jay a pink scrunchie.
“That’s hers?” Jay tries his utmost to keep his jealousy rage at bay. “Never saw her using that to tie her hair.”
“She does, but not so often.” Sunghoon says, oblivious to the glaring jealousy in Jay’s dark gaze. “And if my presumption is correct, you forced her into giving you her necklace.”
“So what?” Jay rolls his eyes. “At least she now knows better the next time she decides to act defiant towards me.”
The blaring engine emanating from a motorcycle prompts the three of them to turn their heads at the now automated open garage, revealing a familiar biker clad in all black denims, decelerating the speed of his vehicle as he enters the garage to park where the other motorcycles are arrayed.
Once the biker switches off the ignition, he dismounts from his vehicle and quickly removes his helmet, revealing a pissed-off Jake Sim with his long raven strands dishevelled. In a haphazard manner, he tosses his helmet aside as it hits the ground with a loud thud while his dark gaze settles on Jay before marching over to him.
“You piece of shit!” Jake is seething, his jaw is locked, and his knuckles are painting white with how tight he clenches his fist.
“Woah, woah.” Sunghoon instinctively embodies a barrier between the two men, holding Jake off, whereas Jay doesn’t seem to be affected by Jake’s patent wrath. “What is the problem this time?”
“Yeah, Jake. Whatever did I do wrong this time?” Jay’s derisive chuckles only fuel Jake’s ire.
“You stole the one thing that made her feel close to her parents and provided her some form of succour in times of need!” Jake’s outburst is so profound that even Heeseung begins to make his approach towards them with the intention of preventing any potential escalation since both Sunghoon and Heeseung had seen firsthand when Jay and Jake were involved in a nasty brawl.
“Jake, calm down.” Heeseung grips Jake’s shoulder, but the latter effortlessly jerks his shoulder from Heeseung’s firm grip.
“Do you even know how much that necklace meant to her?!” Jake remains unrelenting as he attempts to shove Sunghoon away from being a hindrance to imposing his wrath on Jay.
“No, and I don’t care.” A cold smile touches Jay’s lips, his fingers toying your necklace, which only aggravates the situation since he is not being discreet about it. “So you were with her despite receiving a warning to meddle with my business pertaining to her.”
Jake’s jaw goes clenching. “She called me, so I came over. It’s that simple.”
“She didn’t call me.” Sunghoon mumbles to himself, his frown deepening.
“Now give me her necklace.” Jake demands, his brown eyes holding an unmistakable fierce resolution that Jay knows he won’t back down unless he does what he demands.
The smirk on Jay’s lips drops, now forming a scowl. “You are in no position to make demands. Whatever I want to do with Y/N is not your business. Besides, I didn’t poke my nose into your business when it was your turn, so you shouldn’t as well.”
“Jay’s right, Jake.” This time, Heeseung manages to draw Jake’s attention to him. The look in Heeseung’s eyes seems to tame Jake’s glaring wrath. “It’s part of the rules, you know that.”
“And while we’re at it, why the fuck are you acting like you’re her boyfriend? Being all so protective and defensive in her honour.” Jay finally points out. “Unless you’re still trying to deceive her, then whatever she feels shouldn’t have mattered to you, because at the end of the day, she’s our prey. Or have you finally caught feelings for sweet little Y/N Kang?”
Despite the obvious anger, Jake remains an enigma, his facial expression is indecipherable to them. “Fine, I’ll let this go, but I swear if you make her cry again─”
“Sim Jaeyun.” Heeseung’s tone is final, forcing Jake to oblige Heeseung’s silent order to leave, but not before shooting Jay one last glare.
“Listen, I’m all for ruining Y/N, but maybe Jake has a point.” Sunghoon breaks the ice as soon as Jake departs from the garage. “That necklace was probably gifted by her parents, and you went too far, Jay.”
Jay groans, displaying his annoyance. “Not you too, Hoon. I thought you’d be more than glad to know that Y/N is pathetically miserable just because I stole this necklace that probably cost like, what? Less than two hundred?”
“I’m just saying.” Sunghoon shrugs his shoulders. “Don’t get me wrong. I still hate─” There is a fleeting pause before he continues. “─Y/N, but I didn't go to that extent.”
“Careful, Hoon. Your humane side is showing.” Jay says mockingly as he rises from the couch, shoving the necklace in his pocket. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going for a drive.”
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With each feeble step you take, your nerves begin to act up while the inner turmoil makes you want to puke the food you ate in the morning. Instinctively, your fingers make their ascent to your neck, seeking the familiar yet ephemeral alleviation of fiddling with the silver cross, but as soon as you feel nothing, the bleak reality hits you like a tonne of bricks that your precious necklace is still in Jay’s possession.
You release a soft sigh. Despite basking yourself in Jake’s warmth and comfort as he offered you words of consolation yesterday, you still feel the ache in your heart of being forcefully detached from the one thing that you try your utmost to cling to its creed in order to retain whatever faith is left in you.
You have a strong inkling that Jay doesn’t actually want your necklace, and what he really wants is your attention, but frankly speaking, you have no intention to indulge him. There is absolutely no way you are about to give into what he wants just because he’s a Chaebol, despite the urge to retrieve it as soon as possible.
“Y/N! Over here!” Winter raises her hand to wave at you, and when you look at her, a gleeful smile plasters on her radiant face that seems to ease you momentarily before you feel a pair of eyes on your face, prompting you to look at Wonyoung.
You meet Wonyoung’s eyes fleetingly, but it’s enough to have an impact on you. She looks away first to resume her conversation with your two familiar classmates. Yesterday, Wonyoung caught Jake trying to leave your dorm, and although she didn’t say anything, the expression on her face was enough for you to fully discern her contempt towards Jake.
Holding back a sigh, you force yourself to lift a smile and proceed to amble towards Winter. Winter, ever so bright and ebullient, warmly greets you with a hug. You gladly reciprocate, and you can’t help but feel as if she knows you need this hug, causing you to squeeze your arms around her figure before breaking the hug.
“Hey Y/N.” Three of your other classmates greet you politely, and they are the very few who don’t seem to detest you, unlike the others.
After exchanging brief pleasantries, Winter tugs you with her, prompting you to sit next to her. “There’s a new café on campus that opened just recently. Wanna join us?” Winter asks as she watches you pull out the relevant notes from your bag.
“Sure.” You give her a small smile, and you can see in her eyes that she has many questions for you, but instead, she reciprocates your smile as she pats your shoulder before the bunch of you begin your group study.
For the next hour or two, you have become immersed in the studying and some discussions in between alongside your classmates, who are in the same major as you. You are thankful that this also serves as a distraction since not a single thought about anything that is irrelevant to what you are currently doing comes to mind. 
But your phone has been vibrating in your pocket every once in a while, which brings a frown to your face. Who could possibly be calling you?
“I’m beat.” One of your classmates, who is seated across from you, declares with a loud groan as she stretches out her limbs. “Can we please go for a break?” She asks Winter.
“We should.” Wonyoung adds, and it takes everything for you to resist looking at her. “We can resume our discussion right after. Plus, we have all day.”
“Fine.” Winter purses her lips, having no choice but to acquiesce upon seeing the look in their eyes. Winter turns her attention to you. “Y/N, are you coming with us?”
On cue, your stomach grumbles lightly despite having breakfast, and just as you are about to answer, an unwelcome voice cuts through the air that makes you go flinching.
“So you’re here. Oh? Hello, Y/N’s friends.” His menacing presence from behind causes you to straighten your spine.
You go frigid in your seat while your classmates offer him greetings or just acknowledge him, whereas Wonyoung can be seen glaring at him while Winter looks conflicted with her eyes darting between you and him, especially as his hand is now on your shoulder.
“Jay, what are you doing here?” Winter asks politely, the only one who bothers to be amiable enough towards him.
“Oh, ya know, just looking for a certain someone who didn’t bother to pick up my calls.” Jay squeezes your shoulder, to which you can feel the danger in the heat of his touch, and judging by his tone, you can detect his smug smile. “Y/N and I are friends now.”
“Let’s go, girls.” Wonyoung abruptly stands, her tone denotes disdain that you are familiar with. “This place suddenly reeks of poison.” She mutters, rolling her eyes, before leaving the table, with your classmates following suit.
“Just go. I’ll be fine.” You murmur to Winter, assuring her with a small smile, whereas the latter looks between you and Jay one more time before she makes her departure.
You release a breath as soon as Jay removes his hand from your shoulder. But he has other plans and is now inviting himself to sit next to you. “So no, ‘Hi Jay’?”
Your face remains impassive as you continue to scribble on your notes diligently, disregarding his entire domineering existence next to you, where you can feel the warmth emanating from his body.
From your peripheral vision, you catch a glimpse of him, and you resist the strong urge to have a better look at him. He’s wearing all black, and his tight-fitting black shirt looks taut on his muscles with his tattoos that intimidate you.
You hear him clicking his tongue, denoting his annoyance. “Ignoring me is not going to work, baby.”
Your heart skips a beat at the endearment, even though you try your utmost not to falter as you grip your pen tight. You feel his eyes boring into the side of your face, and the longer he does that, the more you begin to feel self-conscious.
Jay heaves an exasperated sigh. “You really are a nerd, do you know that? You have the perfect GPA score, and yet you’re still here studying? You’re just wasting your time when you could’ve used it on me instead.”
You grit your teeth. He just won’t stop until you direct your attention to him, right?
“Hey!” You gasp in disbelief as he snatches your note away. With your body tilted to face him, you finally get a good look at him. “Park Jongseong!” You attempt to reach out, but he simply holds it further from your reach.
“Now that I have your attention, I have a proposition for you.” Jay says, smirking lightly.
“I’m not interested.” You release a short huff before digging into your bag for your wallet and proceeding to leave the table with him behind.
You groan as soon as you hear his footsteps from behind. “Are you really sure you’re not interested?”
“I’m not interested in anything that has to do with you. Now go away.” You shoot him a scowl.
“I mean, if you’re really not interested, then I’ll just keep your necklace permanently─”
You halt your steps as soon as you enter the new establishment, where Wonyoung, Winter, and the rest of your classmates can be seen from afar. You turn to him, your eyes flickering with interest. “Fine. I’m listening.”
The smirk on his handsome countenance sends a fluttering sensation to your heart. “If you want your precious necklace back, then you’ll have to listen to me and obey my orders.”
You scoff out, now crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not going to become your bitch, Jay.”
“Even better, be my servant.” The cruel glint in his eye tells you everything you need to know that what he has in store for you entails zero clemency. “If I order you to kiss my foot, you shall do so without any complaints.”
“What?” You give him a dumbfounded stare. “Are you crazy─”
He steps closer to you, causing your breath to hitch in your throat at the close proximity between you and him. “If I order you to run errands for me, you shall do so without dilly-dallying.”
“Screw you.” Your nose scrunches up in disgust, your eyes glaring into his dark, dangerous ones. “If you think for a second that I’ll comply, you’re wrong. I’m not going to bend down for you just because you’re pissed off at me for ignoring you.” Daringly, you scoff at him without realising the twisted danger storming in his eyes. “I know you’re desperate for my attention, and for that, you’re nothing but pathetic, Jay.”
You turn your back on him with the intention of heading over to your friends, but his hand latches onto your wrist firmly enough to spin you around as he pulls you back to him. His other hand goes to cradle your jaw, forcing your head to tilt up to meet his eyes while the other slithers around your waist, locking you in place.
“You think you’re so tough now just because you have Jake and Sunghoon wrapped around your fingers?” Each word he says sounds venomous enough to send eerie chills down your spine. “But you see, their presence in your life is only temporary. You may think that you mean everything to them, but you’re wrong. They’ll toss you aside once they find someone else to satisfy their dicks.”
“Stop.” Your lips quiver, hating how his words are beginning to take effect on your incertitude. You attempt to push him away, but his strength outweighs yours. “Jay, let go of me.”
A patronising smile touches his lips, now pulling you closer until your chest hits his. “You know I’m right, and if they like you so much, then where are they now? Why are they not here to protect you from me?”
“Jay!” You whisper, panic spreading across your chest as he moves his face closer until his nose grazes against yours. Your hands are on his chest, trying to push him away. “My friends! They’ll see us!”
“Ah, speaking of your friends,” He grabs your chin firmly to angle your head so you are able to glimpse at your friends, specifically Wonyoung and Winter. “No doubt that they’ll abandon you just as your boy toys will soon, seeing that their goody two shoes turn out to be a whore.”
“Stop.” You hold back your tears as you grit your teeth. “You’ve made your point, okay? Just stop being an insufferable asshole.”
“But I’m not even done yet, baby.” He chuckles lethally softly, turning your head to the side and allowing you to get a better view of their faces. This time, you meet Wonyoung and Winter’s eyes, and your heart sinks at the look in their eyes.
“One by one, the people close to you will abandon you, and you have no choice but to rely on me.” He murmurs, his nose grazing down against your cheek to the back of your ear, whispering darkly in a cold snarl, “Do I give a fuck about what your prissy friends think as they see us like this? No, but it makes everything better, don’t you think?”
“J-Jay.” You implore, all the while, needles after needles continue to pierce into your heart as you watch Wonyoung look away from you, whereas Winter looks conflicted before lowering her gaze.
“Mark my words. I’ll have you bend down for me, one way or another.” He nips at your earlobe, eliciting a small gasp from you. “This is what happens when you decide to fuck with me, and by the time I’m done with you, you know better than to defy me.”
With a feathery kiss on your cheek, he releases you, allowing you to take a breather. His lips remain lingering on your cheek, no matter how much you detest it. You look at him with a hurtful gaze as he smirks at you cruelly, seeing how he relishes the state he brought upon you.
Knowing that you won’t be welcomed at their table, at least not anymore, you make your departure from the establishment while your chest feels constricted.
You hate Jay. You hate the look in your friends’ eyes, but most importantly, you hate that there is a flicker of desire for the man who undoubtedly will bestow his cruelty on you.
Completely distraught as you battle an internal conflict that occurs in your mind, you accidentally bump into someone’s shoulder.
“Sorry.” You mutter to the person numbly.
“Y/N.” You feel his hand on your shoulder, but his voice prompts you to lift your head before recognition flickers in your gaze. “Are you okay?”
“Beomgyu.” You breathe out, giving him a faint smile. “Sorry about that, but I’m okay.”
Despite Beomgyu being in almost all of your classes since he’s majoring in journalism as well, you rarely interacted with him unless you were grouped with him for certain assignments in the past. Not only is he an elite member of the devil’s knight club, but you also recognise him as Heeseung’s close friend since they are often glued together.
Beomgyu is not as scary as the leaders, but enough to intimidate you and have you rethinking whether or not to strike up a conversation with him.
You can see the sincerity in his eyes, despite his apathetic facade. “I heard that you and Jake have reconciled.” He points out. “So does this mean that you’re together with him?”
You heave a sigh, and your shoulders slightly slouch in dejection. “It’s complicated, but we’re good now.”
Beomgyu casts a charming smirk at you. “Fair enough. I mean, associating with any of the knights can be more than complicated.”
You only smile wryly in return. “It’s nice talking to you, Beomgyu, but I have to go.”
“Just a word of advice, Y/N,” You halt your steps just as you walk past him. When you look back at him, inexplicable sentiments gleam in his eyes. “Be careful of who you decide to place your trust in.” He seems hesitant. “And I know they’re my good friends, but they can be deceitful. I’m sure you must’ve already known that they are capable of anything, so just be careful.”
You raise your eyebrow at him. “Why are you telling me this?”
His lips curl into a small smile. “You’re a nice girl, Y/N. I don’t want to see you get hurt because of them. Besides, it would be a pity to lose someone like you to their corruption again.”
“Again? What do you mean by that?” You ask, your curiosity reaches its peak, but Beomgyu only gives you another smile before walking away from you, leaving you to ponder over his words as they echo in the corridors of your mind.
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When the next day arrives for you to head to the campus library, your presumption was correct. Jay verily reeks of desperation for your attention, albeit his method involves pestering you incessantly and following you almost everywhere you go, essentially tyrannising you.
Initially, you had the capacity to tolerate him, hoping that he would eventually get bored by your lack of retaliation against him, but you had no idea that determination flowed in his blood. He would make crude remarks and even throw direct insults at you for being a homie hopper. What ticked you off was that he mentioned a few times how you should have left your religion since you were not worthy in God’s eyes anymore, simply because you’re a dirty whore.
But you are surprised at yourself for not breaking down in front of him despite how each word he spoke only stabbed you in the heart deeper and deeper, because no matter how much you detested his words, you couldn’t deny that there were some truths in them.
The vibration from your phone in your grasp pulls your attention away from your train of thought. Seated on top of the covered toilet bowl, you look down to read his texts with a grimace etched on your face.
JAY: Are you taking a huge dump or something?
JAY: Stop ignoring me. You know that I won’t stop until you agree to become my slave, or you don’t actually cherish your necklace enough?
JAY: Seriously, it’s been twenty minutes since you’ve gone to the toilet. Are you okay? Did you drop your head into the toilet bowl?
JAY:...I know you’re reading this. I’m giving you three minutes, or I’ll get you out of the toilet myself.
You groan lightly. Never have you ever met a guy so persistent and desperate for your attention. You have an inkling that he does have an ulterior motive, but you can’t be bothered enough to find out since you don’t like Jay.
Sure, he smells nice and makes you want to bask yourself in his scent, while his warm touch often sends tingles dancing delightfully on your skin and the handsome smirk on his face sends a familiar flutter to your heart, but you don’t like him, especially with the way he has been treating you. Period.
Shoving your phone inside your pocket, you proceed to exit the cubicle and depart the toilet. Although you have managed to trick Jay into thinking that you went to the other toilet, you ought to be wary of him. That guy is beyond predictable.
Thankfully, there are not many students in your vicinity, and you disregard their odd stares at you as you hide behind a large pillar with your head peeking out to check the coast.
“Y/N?”
A feeble shriek leaves your lips as you spin around, your heart pounding hard against your chest momentarily before you begin to loosen every tension in your muscles at the sight of Beomgyu and Taehyun.
“Oh, it’s just you guys.” You mutter, sighing, as you place a hand over your chest.
“What are you doing?” Beomgyu inquires, smirking lightly, while Taehyun seems to be amused by your odd behaviour. “Hiding from a certain someone, I suppose?”
“Maybe.” You answer vaguely, your eyes darting around your surroundings. “Have you seen Jay around?”
“We saw him outside of the library, and he looked pissed.” Taehyun raises an inquisitive eyebrow at you while there is a glint of mischief in his eye. “Do you want me to get him?”
“No!” You startle them with your loudness before calming yourself down. “I mean, no, thank you. I’ll be on my way, then.”
“Do you want to join us?” Beomgyu asks just as you walk past them. “We’re going to be hanging out in South’s lounge with some of our friends. I heard Wonyoung and Yunjin are there.”
“Oh,” You deflate at the mention of their names. You offer them a small smile. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think I’m comfortable since my best friends and I are not on talking terms.”
“What happened?” Taehyun takes a step forward, his keen interest has you scoffing lightly.
Beomgyu smacks at the back of Taehyun’s head, eliciting a wince from the latter. “Read the room, Tae.” Beomgyu turns to you and gives you an apologetic smile. “Don’t mind him."
You chuckle softly, now completely at ease, as you find their dynamic rather interesting. As you glance up, you see the way Beomgyu’s eyes soften at your radiant countenance, but you disregard Taehyun’s wary gaze as he stares behind you.
You begin to feel conscious of Beomgyu’s dark gaze, instinctively fiddling with the hem of your blouse. “I mean, if you guys really want to know─”
“Know what?” His cold voice cuts through the air like a sharp knife from behind. You know it’s too late to make your escape when his arm slithers around your waist to pull you closer to his side.
Your breath hitches in your throat, and you feel his nose nuzzling into your head as though to inhale your scent and to display his territorial claim over you in front of his fellow knights.
“So you tricked me.” Jay murmurs to you, uncaring that he is brazenly holding you intimately like this when Beomgyu and Taehyun are present.
“Jay.” Beomgyu greets him, but you discern a sense of displeasure in his tone. “Are you heading for the South’s lounge as well?”
“Nahh, I have plans with sweet thing here. Gotta teach her a little lesson.” Jay answers, his arm tightening around your waist. You shiver lightly as you hear a noise resembling a growl from his throat. “Take the fucking hint and scramble off. Oh, and if I see you anywhere near her again, you’ll be meeting more than just my fists.”
“Come on.” Taehyun tugs at Beomgyu’s hand, and you can see the reluctance in his eyes before they eventually walk away from you.
“Tryna’ escape from me again, angel?” Jay asks in a sneer before nipping your earlobe. “Get this into your fucking skull that no matter what, I’ll always find you.”
Jay encircles his hand around your wrist before tugging you harshly and pulling you with him to God knows where. His tight grip on your wrist and the sense of urgency in his steps set off trepidation in you. When your eyes flicker to his side profile, something stirs in you upon seeing his chiselled jaw clenched.
“Jay! Wait!” You utter in a panic as soon as he pulls you into one of the classrooms before releasing you. The blinds nearly obscure any sunlight from streaming in, casting shadows across the room.
You hear him locking the door, evoking your fight-or-flight instinct to run further into the classroom, away from you. Your shoulder bag has fallen to the floor, but you are entirely focused on trying to elude him. Thankfully, the size of the classroom is nearly equivalent to the auditorium, where you and your fellow journalism majors often gather for assembly and vice versa.
His dark chuckles echo throughout the walls as soon as you are certain he won’t be able to get to you fast. “You wanna play a cat-and-mouse game, baby?”
“No.” You answer, nearly out of breath due to the running, while your heart remains pounding hard against your chest. Despite the distance, your eyes manage to meet his from across, and you know you are going to be fucked due to how pissed off he is. “I don’t want to play anything with you.”
“Yeah, you do.” His tongue glides across his bottom lip, and you become alarmed by the bloodthirsty glint in his eyes. “Unless you want a severe punishment, then come to me.”
You shake your head in defiance. “If it’s not obvious enough, I don’t trust you.”
“I’m not going to hurt you.” He declares calmly, contradictory to the storms in his eyes. “Just come to me, baby.”
“Stop calling me baby! I’m not your freaking baby!” You exclaim as frustration belies your tone. You clench your fist with your nails digging into your palms, beginning to form the shape of crescents. “First, you kept on insulting me, telling me that I’m a worthless whore who is good for nothing unless I spread my legs, and the next, you called me baby, and you even acted all so jealous when I was with Beomgyu and Taehyun.”
“Keep their names out of your mouth.” He glowers at you, eventually stalking towards you, but instead of being intimidated, you continue to pour out your pent-up emotions to him.
“See what I meant?! I don’t know what the hell you want from me, but if you said that I’m a worthless whore, then why are you still trying to get my attention?! Stop messing around with my sanity, Jay!” You are seething to the point where you fail to realise that he is nearing you. “You act like you hate me, but the next moment, you want me to focus on you. So what─”
Jay grabs your wrist before you can even run, pulling you to him before he hoists you by the waist and settles you on top of the table at the side. Your heart nearly lurches in your chest when he closes the gap between your bodies, standing in between your parted legs.
“Jay─” You gasp as he latches his hand onto your nape, forcing your neck to arch before he leans down to inhale your sweet fragrance with the tip of his nose grazing across your skin.
“Do you know how hot you sound when you get mad, baby?” The heavy rasp projecting in his voice sounds amorous, igniting a familiar arousal in your core. His warm lips on your pulse have your heart racing. “Mmhmm, maybe I should make you mad more often.” He murmurs against your skin before giving it a gentle kiss.
“S-Stop.” Flustered, your hands raise midway to push him away, but his warm lips on your neck feel willowy, and his gentle kisses leave you wanting more, wanting his lips on yours.
“Stop? Are you sure?” His breathy chuckles sound condescending. He trails his kisses to your jaw before nipping it while his hands move underneath your blouse, sending you shivers as he holds you firmly by the waist.
“You can’t do this just to distract me.” You hate how you sound weak, and you hate it even more that you want him in the most intoxicating way.
“Who says I’m distracting you?” Mockery drips from his tone. His hands descend to your thighs, and thanks to your skirt, he squeezes the flesh before hooking your legs around his waist. He migrates to the chair, having you settled on top of his lap.
The abruptness of his movement causes you to fall into him, and a gasp leaves your lips as your core comes into contact with his bulge, eliciting a low groan from him. With your hands on his shoulders for support, you force your upper body to back away from him, but his hand immediately flies to your lower back, holding you in place.
“Just answer me honestly.” You sound a little breathless due to the rising tension that wraps around your throat. Despite your wavering gaze, your eyes search for his. “Do you hate me?”
You almost take his resounding silence as a yes, until he opens his mouth and says, “No.”
Confusion knits at your furrowed eyebrows. “You’re lying. If you didn’t hate me, then you wouldn’t have treated me the way you did.”
“I’m a man of many things, but being a liar is not one of them.” Jay asserts himself, and the sincerity in his eyes puts your mind at ease just slightly.
“I don’t understand you, Jay.” Your admission is followed by your shoulders slouching in defeat. Your eyes turn crestfallen. “What is your endgame? What does it take for you to leave me alone?”
He raises his fingers to caress your cheek delicately while his lips curl into a charming smirk, but his dark eyes remain sinister. “All it takes is for you to acknowledge my existence and for you to be mine.”
Your heart skips a beat. “Be yours? As in, like, being your girlfriend?”
Jay scoffs lightly. “If you still don’t know yet, I don’t do relationships.”
“But I’ve seen you with girls─”
“Flings, or whatever─ I don’t give a fuck about them. I don’t even remember who they were.”
“But why?” You can’t help but indulge your curiosity, which is sparked by this new information about him. “Why are you not interested in relationships? Do you have commitment issues or something?”
It is peculiar. Something so fleeting flickers in his eyes, a sentiment that is contrasting to the familiar storms. “I don’t believe in such things as relationships or even marriage.”
For some reason, the look in your eyes compels him to divulge one of his many vulnerabilities, which he had securely kept hidden in a box where no one would ever uncover the authenticity of who he actually is.
The movement of his tongue gliding across his bottom lip captures your attention, nearly distracting you from what he has to say next. “Especially marriage. It’s bullshit, really.” A muscle ticks in his jaw, and you can see it in his eyes that he seems to be recalling something. “What’s the point of saying those vows of love or whatever they are when, in the end, you’ll end up doing the opposite of what is expected of you as a spouse?”
“Marriage can be wonderful if you are married to the right person.” You tread carefully with your words upon noticing the spark of anger in his eyes.
A lazy smirk touches his lips. “And I’m guessing you came from a happy family filled with unconditional love from your parents.” He nods his head to himself. “Yeah, I guessed right, especially since you’re a fucking goody two shoes who probably didn’t have a single bad day in her entire life. Make sense as to why you’re so bright.”
“I don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or another one of your insults.” You murmur, frowning, and your lips unintentionally jut into a pout.
“Neither.”
You roll your eyes at him before attempting to move, but his hold on you remains unyielding. Releasing a frustrated sigh, you cave in. “Fine. I’ll be yours, whatever you meant earlier.” You utter dryly.
“Now, wasn’t that so simple?” You so badly want to punch the smirk on his handsome face.
“My necklace.” You demand. “Since I complied, it’s fair that you return my necklace.”
“It’s not with me, and even if it was, I wouldn’t be giving it to you so soon.” Jay’s response elicits a scoff from you. “Don’t get all attitude on me, baby.”
“Stop calling me that.” You mumble moodily, but this only amuses him.
“I call you whatever I want.” He leans forward to dip his head down to the junction between your neck and collarbone. "Since you’re mine now, I can do whatever I want to you, yeah?”
“That depends.” You become lightheaded by his strong cologne and his hot breath hitting your skin. With his arms around your waist as he pulls you closer, your back is slightly arched, as is your neck, inviting him to place a kiss on your skin.
“Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you, even if you choose to act like a brat. I would never hurt you, baby.” He says so huskily, his lips kissing your neck ever so gently, that it sends butterflies to your tummy. “You smell nice, do you know that?”
“A compliment from you? That’s new.” Your voice comes out breathless as he continues to administer his kisses to your neck.
The humming from his vibration sends you good shivers. “Yeah? You love getting compliments, baby girl?”
His soft tone sounds foreign to you, unlike how he has been speaking to you all this time, yet you know for yourself that you love it. “I do.” You utter meekly, shyness colours your cheeks pink.
He trails his kisses to your jaw before pressing a deep kiss on your cheek. “I’ll give you all the compliments you want, sweet angel.”
It’s like the endearment is a trigger for you as you recall something. You stare at him, a blend of uncertainty and apprehension in your eyes. “You’re that masked man on Devil’s Night, aren’t you? You’re him. Black.”
Something dark casts a shadow on his face. “You’re one clever angel.” His lips unfurl with a soft smirk as he tucks a strand behind your ear.
A shaky breath leaves your lips. “You really scared me that night.”
“I know, I was there.” He cradles your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Still scared of me?”
You remain silent, uncertain of how to answer, but without a doubt, the fear for him is palpable.
“You should be, baby.” He says in a lull, his eyes fluttering cunningly at you. “Because I know the different ways to kill a man.”
One thing is undoubtedly certain: each of them is detrimental. It is still beyond you that the law does not apply to them in whatever crimes they commit, simply because they’re the sons of affluent figures to the government.
“Let’s go.” He caresses your cheek affectionately. “I’m bringing you for a drive.”
But then again, maybe there is something fundamentally wrong with you too, as you lean in further into his touch, desiring to be closer to him the same way you are to Jake and Sunghoon.
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You wish you could turn back time to undo what you said yesterday. Being gullible enough to have fallen for the ephemeral of his charms, you strongly believed that he would no longer be the insufferable asshole, and since delusional is your middle name, you thought you would receive some sort of princess treatment from him.
You thought wrong. But then again, you could only afford to wish. Lo and behold, the consequences of your actions.
As soon as Karina swings the door open, her body jolts in genuine surprise when she sees the lack of colour on your scowling face, looking as though you had been through hell.
“Don’t ask.” Even your voice sounds oddly dead, with no traces of warmth.
Karina smacks her lips together before stepping aside to allow you to enter. “Where have you been? It’s only 12 in the afternoon, and you’d usually come out of your cave only after 12.”
You hear her following from behind as you step into the kitchen, heading straight for the refrigerator to find something cool to quench your thirst and hopefully quell your anger. “Jay.”
Even the mere mention of his name leaves a bad taste on your tongue. After grabbing a mineral of ice water, you turn around to meet Karina’s calculated gaze as you proceed to drink.
“So Winter was right. You got close with Jay as well. But why?” She asks, bewildered. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I’m worried for you. You do realise that he’s known for his bad temperament. What if he hurts you?”
You scoff lightly, placing the half-empty bottle on the counter. “Trust me. I asked myself the same question. But don’t worry, he won’t be able to hurt me.”
“You don’t know that.” Now Karina is starting to sound like Wonyoung and Yunjin.
Grappling with your emotions, you release a shaky sigh, your fingers skimming through your tousled locks. “Look, I really had a shitty morning running stupid errands for Jay with a lack of sleep. The last thing I need is for you to start berating me for the same reason Wonyoung and Yunjin did.” Your brusque manner in the way you speak irks Karina.
“Sue me for being worried about my best friend.” Karina crosses her arms over her chest, and a scowl etches on her face. “Just because you’re close to Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay now doesn’t earn you a free pass to act all bitchy and think you’re above us.”
Your tongue hits the roof of your mouth as you maintain a glaring contest with Karina. “Like I said, I’m not in the mood.” You brush past her coldly, but her next remark stops you.
“Wonyoung and Yunjin were right. You’re different now.” Karina’s tone belies disappointment and disbelief. “I know what I said before about you being a grown woman who can make her own choices, but I was wrong. Yes, you can have fun and do all the things you’ve missed out on, but I didn’t expect that change in you to affect us in how you treat us.”
You scoff in sheer disbelief, now glaring at her with familiar resentment. “It’s always the same old speech with you girls. And excuse me, but when have I ever treated you girls badly?”
“See? Now you’re just being a bitch.” Karina rolls her eyes. “Just because you had a bad morning with Jay, now you’ve decided to show an attitude. This is exactly what I mean when I say you’ve changed for the worse.”
“I’m sick and tired of having to tell you girls again and again that I have not changed.” You clench your fist. “Do you know how suffocating it is whenever any of you tell me that you’re worried for me just because I’ve associated myself with the leaders?”
“Your best friends being worried for you simply prove that they still care for you, Y/N.” Karina retorts coldly. “But you don’t have to worry about any of us worrying for you anymore. You can do whatever the hell you want since that’s what you wanted, right? Freedom.”
With an angry huff, Karina storms away to her room at the same time you do. Your head is fogging in a whirlwind of the emotions that you grapple with. Slamming the door loudly, you head for the bathroom to wash your face.
With ragged breaths, you slowly lift your head and stare at your own reflection. Your eyes begin to scrutinise the contours of your face, particularly the noticeable eyebags due to the lack of sleep last night. Honestly, you look like a mess. You look exhausted. You look different.
You shake your head at the words you’ve heard from them and at the fact that you have been a total bitch towards your best friends. Yeah, you definitely need to catch up on some sleep and replenish yourself. 
Just as you exit from the bathroom, your phone rings inside your pocket, eliciting a loud sigh from you as soon as you see the caller ID. Knowing better than to reject him again, you answer.
“What more do you want?” You ask rather brusquely, not bothered to conceal your irritation for him.
“Enough with the attitude already.” Jay’s callous tone doesn’t even deter you. “I need you to buy some cigarettes and a few sojus. Some of my house members will be coming over later.”
“Why can’t you do it yourself?” You scowl as you head for your bed, which has been calling for you. “Or why can’t you ask anyone else in your circle of friends?"
“Because I said so. Plus, you’re technically my servant now since the moment you voluntarily agreed, or have you forgotten?”
“So you’re implying that it’s my fault for not knowing better?” You grit your teeth, holding back the tears from emerging. “It’s not my fault that I thought you’d─"
“That I’d what?” His dark tone denotes a warning. “That I would treat you in a way you thought I would just because I said you’re mine? You’re pathetic for being desperate to want the scraps of my affection.”
You swallow down the humiliation while tears are accumulating in your eyes. “Screw you. I’m not going to do what you asked me to. Find someone else to be your servant.”
“I wasn’t asking.” Something in his voice sends you the bad shivers. “Just because I said that I wouldn’t hurt you doesn’t mean that I have no alternatives to make your life miserable.”
“So you’re threatening me now?” You hope that he doesn’t hear the crack in your voice.
“Oh, angel, this is me being lenient to you. You haven’t even seen the worst I could do.” You can imagine the devilish smirk on his face just by his tone. “Now be a good little servant and do as you were told.”
He hangs up the call before you can scream at him. You toss your phone haphazardly aside, lying on the bed with your limbs sprawling. Your eyebrows are softly knitted as you bite down your bottom lip hard while tears cascade down your cheeks.
You can only afford to plead silently to God that you’ll have enough endurance to tolerate Park freaking Jeongseong.
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The timing Jay told you to reach the palace granted you a scant amount of sleep, and as a result, you feel slightly lethargy, exacerbating the weariness in every part of your body since you did wake up at six in the morning upon having to answer Jay’s incessant calling.
By the time you nearly reach the opened door, your whole arms are beseeching for respite from having to carry four weighty plastic bags. Apparently, when Jay meant ‘a few sojus’, you had no idea that twenty bottles were considered ‘a few’ in his dictionary, other than the ten boxes of cigarettes.
Inviting yourself inside, you hear some commotion echoing throughout the area you are in, and you have a feeling that his house members are somewhere above the second or third floor. Recalling your text with Jay, in which he specifically told you to go as soon as you arrived, you drag your feet towards the flight of stairs and release a weary sigh.
You want to sue yourself for even thinking that Jay would turn out to be the gentleman you thought he was.
“Y/N?” Beomgyu’s voice from behind stops you from making the first step. You turn around to see him with Taehyun, both seem a tad surprised to see you here.
“Hey, guys.” You manage to muster a smile, albeit a tight one. “So I’m guessing you’re Jay’s house members?”
“Unfortunately, since our leader has quite a temper.” Taehyun nods his head, a few chuckles leaving his lips.
You divert your attention to Beomgyu, noticing the way his eyes flicker down at your hands. Before you know it, he steps forward to snatch the four plastic bags from you, carrying them with ease.
“Oh, you didn’t have to.” You mutter, feeling a tad flabbergasted, yet you feel gratitude for the guy.
“Nonsense. They’re heavy for you.” Beomgyu frowns, but he doesn’t seem to have any issues, as he carries them with ease. “And I’m guessing Jay told you to buy these?”
“Demanded.” You correct him, eliciting a hum of agreement from Beomgyu, whereas Taehyun offers to carry two plastic bags before the three of you proceed to ascend to the second floor.
“It’s not our leader if he isn’t being as demanding as usual.” Taehyun rolls his eyes. “Anyway, will you be hanging out with us?”
“I don’t think so.” You state unsurely. “But Jay did tell me that he wanted to meet me first.”
“You should join us.” Beomgyu tells you with a charming grin. “Don’t worry about the other knights. They won’t be able to do anything to you as long as we’re by your side.”
“Agreed.” Taehyun’s firm tone has you contemplating. “Plus, there is an amazing arcade here, which I’m sure you’ll like.”
“I’ll see first. That is, if Jay doesn’t piss me off.” You give them a brief smile, and when your eyes divert to the sight before you, you finally realise that you have reached where most of them have gathered.
Most of them are familiar faces to you, considering that they have tried harassing you in the past, but you had your best friends to defend you against them and provide you with the moral support you needed. Now, ambivalence hangs in the air around you while dread crawls onto your skin as soon as your presence garners their attention.
“Hey, look who we have here, fellas.” One of them whistles before a series of intimidation howls and barks emit from the others, to which you inwardly cringe but are not entirely surprised. Typical indecorous behaviour of theirs.
Not only do their predatory gazes seem to suffocate you, but the strong musky scent and the thick grey smoke teeming in the atmosphere are just as unpleasant. Plus, there is a distinct smell to which your eyes dart at a group of them at a corner, no doubt ingesting substances that you know will render them in a delirious state.
Your nose scrunches at the familiar smell of sojus, reminding you of the times when your best friends were inebriated and completely knocked out in the living room with bottles of sojus scattered by the coffee table.
“Guys, play nice.” Taehyun warns them, alerting you to their oddly protective stance as they stand next to you.
“We are!” A sophomore who goes by Haneul exclaims before shooting you a wink. “Y/N! A quick question for you. Is it true that you’re a homie hopper now?”
You blink your eyes. “Pardon?”
“Don’t act so innocent now.” Another member, whom you vaguely remember as Sujin, remarks snidely. “We know that you’re secretly a whore who loves to spread her legs for any dicks.”
“So much for being a Catholic girl.” A few of them snicker. Their condescending behaviour towards you only disheartens your spirit.
“That’s enough.” Beomgyu glowers at them. “You better treat our lovely guest with respect.”
“Respect?” The blond-haired guy scoffs. “Why should we show respect to her when she doesn’t have any self-respect?”
You blink your tears away before tugging at Beomgyu’s sleeves, drawing his attention. “I’ll get going first. Tell Jay that I wasn’t feeling well.” You tell him in a whisper, and gratitude washes over you as he nods his head.
“Hey, slut! Do you think you can suck my dick too?” They continue to throw rude remarks at you amidst the snickering. “Come on! Be a good whore and let us use your pussy!”
“Fuck off, Ren!” Beomgyu’s tone sounds pissed as soon as you turn around with the intention to flee this intoxicating environment.
You blink your tears away as you advance forward, but the sound of heavy yet deliberate footsteps approaching you has you slowly lifting your head. Your blurry vision doesn’t allow you to decipher the expression on his face, but you can definitely discern his aura, sending you involuntary chills.
Recalling what he said to you, you lower your gaze and continue to make your way out, but just as you walk past him, he grabs your hand firmly enough to halt your steps.
“What did you just say to her?” Jay asks calmly, and that calmness you know is a deception, because as soon as you get a clearer vision of his countenance, you notice his chiselled jaw locked and his cheekbones prominent.
At once, the atmosphere shifts while the temperature drops. But the silence only seems to aggravate Jay’s brewing anger as he finally snaps. “I asked a fucking question. What did you say to my woman?”
Shit, your heart wasn’t supposed to be skipping a beat. You attempt to tame the butterflies fluttering in your tummy, but the way his hand holds yours firmly yet so tenderly with his thumb caressing the back of your hand only intensifies the flutters.
“W-We were just stating facts.” One of them speaks up. “And we’re right! She’s whoring around with Jake and Sunghoon, and now you!”
“A Catholic slut!” Another knight remarks.
With your head hanging low, you have no idea what expression Jay is wearing, but your heart pounds harder as he pulls you closer to him, his arm slithering around your waist and his fingers tilting your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes.
“I won’t let them get away with insulting you, baby.” Jay’s tone sounds foreignly tender, which matches his soft gaze. “Tell me, what kind of punishment do you want me to give them?”
You bite your lip in uncertainty. Although you detest them, you’re worried that Jay will inflict grave punishments on them after knowing what he is capable of. Instead of responding to his question, you shake your head, whimpering, “I want to go back.”
Jay heaves a sigh before looking at Beomgyu and Taehyun, beckoning them to set the goods aside. His sharp gaze settles on the others. “I’ll deal with the rest of you later. Now, drop down and give me a hundred push-ups.”
“What?!” They break into collective disbelief. “You can’t be serious!”
“I’m not fucking laughing about it either, am I?” Jay smiles sardonically. “Beomgyu and Taehyun will give you broken bones if any of you stop.”
“But we didn’t even do anything!”
“Oh, yeah, you did. You insulted my woman.” Jay takes you by surprise as he leans down to place a feathery kiss on your cheek. His arm around your waist tightens. “My angel baby.”
Oh, you are most definitely and completely out of your mind to feel giddy over this, over the guy who has ever shown you the colour red.
“Drop down, now.” Beomgyu sounds delightful, and when you turn to look at him, your eyes widen at the metal baseball bat in his clutch as well as the dark glint in his eyes — nothing to how he looked at you earlier with kindness.
As soon as they drop down with loud groans, you break yourself apart from Jay’s warmth and proceed to walk in haste. You need to get away from Jay, or else these flutters won’t stop.
“Y/N, wait.”
Surprisingly, you halt your steps, now reaching the first floor. You don’t turn around as you hear him approaching from behind. “We can hang out somewhere beyond their reach if you want─”
“Stop it.” Your voice barely above a whisper, yet it is enough to silence him. Facing him, you scoff out a derisive chuckle, holding back your tears. “You don’t get to act as if nothing happened. You don’t even have the right to get all protective and defensive against them when you’re just the same!”
Jay steps forward, his hands attempting to reach out for you. “Don’t be like this, angel─”
“You’re so cruel, Jay.” Your voice cracks, the vulnerability seeping through the broken dams. Your hurtful gaze does something to his cold heart, and he never thought he would feel a sense of guilt. “You treated me unjustly and insulted me, but the next moment, you’re sweet and gentle.”
Jay allows your words to soak into his fucked-up mind. Your eyes are glistening with tears, and miraculously, they don’t fall. Your pink lips, which he has been dying to kiss, tremble with palpable sadness. Something seems to be squeezing his heart, making his chest feel constricted.
Why the fuck is he feeling this way? Guilt. He does not feel guilt, and he is incapable of bearing humane emotions.
“I tried giving you the benefit of doubt, and I was foolish to be hopeful that you wouldn’t turn out as bad as I thought you were.” You continue to pour out your pent-up emotions, all the while maintaining composure. “I’m a human too, Jay. I have feelings, and my sanity is not something you can toy with.”
Still, Jay yearns for you, grabbing your arm while his other hand cradles your cheek. “Baby.” The endearment just comes out naturally from his mouth, and fuck, does it feel so right. As his eyes trace the contours of your face, he knows that he is right about one thing.
You are his baby. His woman. His to keep, protect, cherish, and fuck.
His softened gaze almost compels you to lean into him, but your strong will impels you to push him away. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this with you anymore.” You tell him in a broken whisper before turning your back on him to make your way to the entrance.
A part of you feels disappointed that he doesn’t make an effort to chase after you, but you immediately dispel that feeling. You must not cave in just because he has that look in his eyes. Yearning.
The gust of a cold breeze hits you as soon as you step outside, but then you find yourself halting your steps. You curl your hand into a fist, refraining yourself from caving into your yearning to return to his arms and hoping that he’d change for the better.
But your moment of incertitude is shattered by the sound of your phone ringing in your pocket. Oddly, uneasiness churns in your tummy when you see your mother’s caller ID. With a shaky breath, you answer.
“Mom?”
“Y/N Kang.” Oh, that tone. She rarely, like, rarely ever uses that tone unless she is truly pissed off. “Do you need to be sent to the Catholic boarding school? Is that what you want?”
You flinch at the sharpness of her voice, that sounds almost painful to you. “M-Mom, I don’t understand─”
“Wonyoung and Yunjin informed me of your misconduct.” You hate how cold she sounds — no traces of the usual warmth and affection. “I’m deeply disappointed in you. Your father and I trusted you enough that you wouldn’t deviate from what had been expected of you. What have you become, Y/N Kang?”
“I swear, Mom, I’m still the same!” You tell her, and your voice shakes frantically while tears return to your eyes, but for a different reason. You hate disappointing your parents.
“Your misconduct is unacceptable, Y/N Kang! You could’ve gotten pregnant! A baby out of wedlock! This won’t be tolerated anymore!” Your mother tells you harshly. “I refuse to be known to have a whore of a daughter!”
“Mom.” You whimper out, allowing tears to make their descent. “Mom, please. I’m sorry.”
“Apologising won’t undo your sins! We taught you better than to behave deplorably.” Your heart sinks at the sheer disgust in her tone. “I won’t permit you to come home unless you prove to us that you have changed for the better.”
“Mom, wait!” But your mother hangs up on you, shattering your heart even more.
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You feel numb, really. You want to shed more tears, but you can’t seem to. It’s like there’s a hole being punctured into your chest, all hollow. Your eyes dart around your surroundings, finding yourself in a desolate hallway while there is the faint sound of a rowdy commotion, most likely from the knights.
Yes, you have returned to the palace after long contemplation. There is absolutely no way you are going back to your dorm, not after what your mother revealed to you. You can’t believe that your best friends did this. You want to hate them, but how do you hate the very people who have been incredibly supportive since day one? That was until recently.
“Y/N.” You look up to find Heeseung ambling towards you. Uneasiness coils in your tummy as your eyes meet his dark ones with inexplicable danger swimming in the depths. “What are you doing here?”
You muster bravery despite harbouring a familiar fear for him. “I’m looking for Jay.”
Heeseung cocks his eyebrow, and dare you say attractively so. “Come.” He beckons you to follow him, and you quietly comply, trailing behind him. But you find it odd that he doesn’t question you further.
Heeseung guides you further into another hallway where a few doors are arrayed on each side. You can’t help but wonder what room each door leads to since you are conscious of the fact that there are plenty of more rooms available.
“He’s inside.” Heeseung tells you just as he halts his step, prompting you to look at the ajar door.
You release a shaky breath, mustering a small smile at him. “Thank you.” But you remain rooted to the ground, hesitancy pulling you back.
Battling an internal conflict, you fail to feel Heeseung’s warmth next to you until your shoulder touches his chest. Your breath hitches in your throat, feeling his fingers stroking down your back while his hot breath fans your earlobe.
“You should know that this is his torture room, where he interrogates his list of victims.” Heeseung murmurs softly, but you are no stranger to the danger in his tone. “No one should ever dare enter unless they want to meet their demise. Are you really sure you want to see him, sweetheart?”
Involuntary shivers run down your spine. “I’m sure.”
You go frigid as he buries his nose into the side of your head, inhaling your shampoo scent with a hum. “If you say so, sweetheart, I’ll be right across the room if you need me.” He pulls away from you, his hands on your waist, to turn you to face the door. “Go ahead. I’m sure he’ll make you an exception.” He says in a lull, and like a sailor being hypnotised by a siren, you comply, taking tentative steps towards the ajar door.
You push open the door before any second thoughts appear in your mind. Your heart pounds harder against your chest at the sight of Jay in a white tank top, which displays his full arm tattoos. He is seated on the couch, sweatpants-clad legs spread leisurely, while his head is rested on the back of the couch. Grey smoke seems to be leaving his lips, and your eyes trail down to the familiar e-cigarette in his grasp.
Jay doesn’t seem to notice your presence yet, so you take this chance to scan the room, which brings you eerie goosebumps to your skin, as does the faint metallic blood smell that pervades your senses. There are different knives set in a transparent glass box at the side, and other tortured objects such as metal bats, brass knuckles, handcuffs, and damn─ you so regret entering this zone that obviously screams danger.
Just as you take a step back, a faint sound of the floor creaking pulls him away from his rumination as he lifts his head up. There is a flicker of surprise in his eyes. “Y/N.”
It is clear to you that he doesn’t expect to see you this soon. Your gaze meets his, and there it is— the familiar look in his eyes when he looked at you earlier. Despite the danger etched on these walls and the fact that you should be running away from the man who has brought nothing but misery for the past few days, you find yourself walking towards him.
Taken aback by you, Jay rises from the couch while the vape has fallen from his grasp. He refrains from pulling you to him, desiring to feel your warmth. His eyes search for yours, noticing how hollow they are.
“I thought you left.” He mutters. .
“I thought so too.” You say quietly, now inching closer to him.
You want him to look at you the way he did before, full of animosity, coldness, and disgust, but the tenderness in his gaze seems to have an impact on you more than it does.
You have no idea why you chose to seek him instead of Jake or Sunghoon, but your heart has led you to him.
“Y/N─”
“Jay.” You cut him off with a sharp sob, and, alas, the dams have crumbled. The tears are unrelenting as they cascade down your cheeks. Without thinking twice, you latch your arms around him. His body goes frigid beneath your warmth.
Jay, who has never had a girl come back to him crying, has no idea what to do. He remains motionless, only allowing you to soak his shirt in the tears leaking from your eyes as you weep into him.
“What happened? Did they hurt you?” He nearly growls out at the thought of his house members insulting or even hurting you.
You shake your head, and when you feel his arms wrapping around you, you sob harder. The tempestuous emotions come crashing down on you all at once, rendering you overwhelmed. You hug him tighter, seeking comfort in his warmth in spite of the darkness you know emanates from him. Ironically, you feel safe in his arms, which feel like an impenetrable shield. 
“Want to tell me what’s wrong?” He asks, his hands holding your shoulders to pull you away from him to get a look at your tear-stained face.
“I need a drink.” You manage to utter in between sobs.
Jay presses his lips thinly, and although he is puzzled by your outburst, he complies, now settling you on the couch before moving to the side to grab two bottles of soju from the table. He opens one for you.
You grab the bottle from his grasp with a numb utterance of ‘thanks’. Without any hesitation, you begin to down the content, your throat burns due to the liquor, and yet you don’t stop drinking, seeking solace in the bittersweet liquor.
“Slow down, angel, or you’ll choke.” He breathes out, in awe at how you down the bottle in one go and finish off.
Breathing heavily, you wipe your lips with the back of your hand. You place the empty bottle on the ground and look at him with hollow eyes. “I need another.”
Jay should be worried, but the wickedness in him blithely indulges you, watching for another time as you throw your head to the back, downing the content that burns your throat.
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Jay is torn between finding great delight in your unveiling misery and a foreign sensation that he has been trying to suppress within him ─ sympathy.
His face remains impassive, consuming his third soju of the night. His ears perk up at the sound of your continual snivelling. He has no idea how long it has been since your return took him by surprise, but probably long enough to have heard your drunk yet teetering weeping that often shatters the semblance of tranquilly that enveloped both of you.
As much as Jay wants to pry, his instincts hold him back from potentially aggravating the situation. Plus, he has an inkling that something must’ve happened in regards to your family affairs since, in your drunken stupor, you kept muttering weakly in a slur about, “I’m sorry, Momma,” and “I promise I’ll be good again.”
Since words have recently circulated among the knights about you being the promiscuous Catholic girl who had been covertly sleeping around with Jake and Sunghoon, there is no doubt that they have reached the ears of the ones whom you call best friends. After all, most of them, specifically Wonyoung and Yunjin, are closely associated with his fellow knights. So if his presumption is correct, then they must’ve informed your parents about it.
Jay holds back a scoff. He has always despised your circle of friends, also known as the It girls. The reason behind his hatred is solely because of their hypocrisy. They claimed to detest the devil’s knight club, and yet they are heavily involved with some knights, blatantly and covertly. 
When Jay pulls himself out of his thoughts, he hears no sound from you and feels relief sweep across his chest. The sound of your cries just fuels his resentment for your so-called best friends, spurring him to expose their hypocrisy with the most heinous execution he can ever inflict on them.
With the cigarette caged between his teeth, he proceeds to light the stick before inhaling the lethal substance that often salves his temperament. Holding the burning stick in between his fingers, he pulls it from his lips before puffing out the smoke, watching as the grey wafts towards you.
His callous eyes scrutinise your doleful countenance, completely unbothered by the smoke in the air around you. The rims of your lower lids are noticeably red and puffy from shedding tears that moistened your rosy cheeks while your eyes are staring into oblivion.
The sound of your sniffles captures his attention as his gaze falls to the red flushing your face, watching as you bring the half-empty bottle of soju to your quivering yet swollen pink lips before you down the liquid that you have grown addicted to.
“Are you done crying?” Jay asks, his tone holding indifference, but oddly, you don’t feel affected. “Hoon was right. You’re such a crybaby.”
Although Jay has no ill-intent in his remark, you construe it as an insinuation of him demeaning you, springing tears to your eyes before staring at him with your quivering lips.
“Haven’t you had enough of tormenting me?” Your voice shakes palpably with a bundle of emotions threatening to implode. “I did everything you asked me to, and yet, it’s never enough.”
Alas, the waterworks you have been holding back erupt for the ninth time, with tears streaming down your already moistened cheeks and broken sobs leaving your lips.
Jay’s eyes widen, and this time, he is completely taken aback by the sight of you weeping again, especially with the lucid misery that sheens in your glossy yet beautiful eyes as you stare into his eyes.
“Shit─ I didn’t mean─” Usually, when he makes a girl cry, it is usually out of pleasure, but to see you cry because of what he said instead renders him panicked, which is entirely bizarre to him. “Fuck, don’t cry─”
“Do you enjoy seeing me like this?” You cut him off, refusing to listen to a word that leaves his mouth. “Was that why you tormented me in the first place?” A hiccup emits from you, and Jay has had to hold himself back from interrupting you because of how adorable you hiccuped. You attempt to wipe the tears away from your leaking eyes as you continue to blabber. “Of course you enjoyed it. You’re probably enjoying yourself even more now that almost all of my loved ones have decided to forsake me─”
Jay silences you when he scoots closer to you to cradle your dampened cheek, forcing you to look at his stern eyes that tinge with softness. “Don’t cry, please.”
Just hearing his plea is enough to cease your weeping, your widened eyes staring at him in utter shock. Your pulse begins to go erratic as you discern a rising tension in the once tranquil atmosphere.
Jay’s tongue glides across his bottom lip before biting it, to which your eyes flicker down. “Just don’t cry anymore─ shit, I don’t know how to comfort someone.” He cusses lowly, seeming to be annoyed at himself. His eyes return to yours, and something foreign stirs within him. “They’re wrong, you know?”
“What?” You feel breathless, and you have no idea whether it’s from the excessive weeping or the palpable tension.
“Your best friends, and the ones who decided to forsake you.” He murmurs, his thumb gently brushing your soft cheek while his eyes zero in on your crystalline eyes that seem to be drawing him in. “Fuck them. Who needs them when you have me?”
Your breath catches in your throat at his vulgarity. “B-But they’re my─”
“And you still insist?” He scoffs lowly. “Can’t you see, angel? They’re a bunch of hypocritical bitches. They don’t even deserve to be called your best friends.”
“Stop talking bad about them.” You mutter, yet your mind is battling an internal conflict.
A smirk touches his lips while the scintilla of danger flickers in his gaze. “Oh, sweet angel, still the saint one who has the goodness in seeing the good in others.” The gentleness beneath his touch feels different on your skin, feeling a little sinister, a little dark.
Before you can speak, his fingers descend to your chin, forcing you to lower your bottom lip as you open your mouth. Without looking away from your eyes, he takes another drag from his burning cigarette before inching his face closer to yours and puffing out the smoke from his lips.
Your heart pounds harder against your chest as you remain pliant for him, tasting the mist of tobacco that infuses your cavern, and yet at the same time, your heart flutters as he cradles your cheek a little tenderly while continuing to transfer the toxicant to you.
Once he’s done, his lips curve upward. “Close your mouth and play with the smoke before blowing it out.” You heed his instructions, your tongue moving around with the smoke in your cavity before puffing it out. “Good girl." Butterflies are in your stomach at his praise.
You don’t even have the time to process anything as he leans in and smashes his lips against yours, instantly allowing you to have a taste of the soju on his lips. Your hands instinctively latch onto his neck, kissing him with equal fervour.
The kiss feels different than the kisses you shared with Sunghoon and Jake. Jay’s kiss is a combination of Sunghoon and Jake’s ─ hard with fervent yet tenderly slow. 
Your heart flutters as his lips move against yours passionately, as though to savour them for as long as he can. His tongue prods gently into your mouth, to which you welcome him, allowing him to meet with your wet muscle.
The tension in the air persists as it is laden with lust, arousing the familiar heat in your core. You moan breathily into him as he continues to explore and devour you. His cock twitches beneath the confines upon hearing the sweet sound from you that he swallows.
The weight of his body sends you into an imbalance as you find yourself nearly falling to the back, but with his hand holding your back, he gently lowers you on the couch without breaking the lip lock.
Pinning you against the couch, his hand is placed next to your head while the other moves underneath your shirt to caress your bare waist, sending you shivers. Just as he pulls away from your chasing lips, you emit a whine of disappointment.
“Jay─“
“I’m right here, baby.” He says in between bated breaths as he leans his forehead against yours, fighting against his demons that desire and devour you whole. His lips press another gentle kiss on yours before murmuring, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You won’t?” You whisper, and the raw vulnerability that seeps from you tempts him to lock you away from everyone and keep you all to himself.
“I won’t.” He reaffirms, now trailing his lips to your cheek, kissing your tears away while your arms remain hooked around his neck. He presses one last kiss on your lips before lowering himself, and your heart goes racing in anticipation.
“Jay.” Your cheeks turn rosier as he hikes your skirt to your stomach, and his fingers go hooking around the string of your underwear before pulling it down and tossing aside.
Your breath hitches in your throat at the primal lust in his eyes as he returns his gaze to your face. Amidst the lust, the heartache remains glittering in your pretty eyes. “Let me take away your pain, baby.” He rasps, and his husky voice goes straight to your throbbing pussy.
“But Heeseung might hear us.” You whimper, attempting to close your legs, but Jay’s strong grip on your thighs hinders you from doing so.
The familiar callous smirk on his fine countenance evokes an odd sense of excitement in you. “Then let him hear. Let him hear how good I’m making you feel.”
You open your mouth to make a protest as he lowers himself to your lower region with his arms hooked around your thighs to spread them, but as soon as you feel a warm, wet muscle taking a long lick of your clit, your hips buck up at the sensation while a breathy moan leaves your lips.
His grip on your thighs tightens as he drags his tongue tantalisingly slowly down your slit before delving into your already wet folds. His administration starts off slow and tender, with his wet muscle exploring and massaging your walls, to which you grow impatient, desiring him to ravage you.
“Jay.” You moan in between whines, your hands descending to grab his hair in an attempt to push him further into your pussy. “More.”
His cock twitches at the sound of your pretty moan. Smirking lightly, he does what you wanted, pulling you roughly by the thighs and delving even deeper, which has you gasping at the length of his tongue.
He groans lowly, sending vibrations to your needy pussy as you tug the roots of his strands tight, practically using his face to ride your pussy on.
The alcohol in your system has long since affected you, rendering you inebriated, and with the pleasure he is giving you, everything feels sensational. You spread open your legs more while keeping the momentum of grinding your hips against his face. Your back is arched as you roll your eyes at the friction of his nose rubbing your clit each time you grind.
With each passing second, you can hear the wetness coming from your slick as he continues to ravage you without taking a moment to breathe, getting addictive to your insatiable taste.
Unhooking his arm from your thigh, his hand searches for yours. Your heart flutters as he intertwines his fingers with yours, gripping it tight. Retracting his tongue from your wet cavity, his lips immediately latch onto your aching clit, suck deliciously, and draw little patterns that hurl you to the edge at how sensitive you are, with the knot twisting in your tummy becoming unbearable.
“Jay! I’m cumming!” You announce in a moan, your hand squeezing his. Your thighs slightly tremble from the intensity of his ravaging you like it’s his last, his tongue invading your pulsating cunt while his nose keeps rubbing your clit, sending you to the brink of your impending orgasm before your body convulses as you come undone.
Jay greedily slurps your essence, which tastes absolutely divine on his tongue, eliciting a low growl coming from his chest while his eyes darken. Though he is absolutely turned on, he desires to draw more orgasm from you solely for his own pleasure.
Your chest heaves up and down, whimpers leaving your lips as soon as you feel his tongue licking a long stripe in between your drenched folds. “Jay, no more.” You plead, already exhausted by a single orgasm.
“I’m not done yet, angel.” His husky voice gives you shivers. A pained whimper elicits from you when he bites down your sensitive nub, and yet, it turns you on even more. He bites for another before soothing it with his tongue, licking and sucking, which only reignites your arousal while your bundle of nerves is set aflame once more.
You whine as he withdraws from you, prompting you to lift your head and see him spitting a glob of his saliva onto your clit, watching as it trails down to your drenched folds before diving in to lick it back up until he stops at your clit, just harshly sucking it.
“Oh, fuck!” You cry out as you throw your head back, your fingers immediately tangling with his soft strands, tugging at them as you grind on his face while he resumes devouring you with such intensity that drives you to the edge once more, your thighs trembling from the sensitivity as you come undone violently for the second time.
You sob softly, tears trickling down your cheeks as you attempt to push him away, his rough and unrelenting administration on your drenched pussy becoming unbearable. You squeeze your thighs around his head, but that only seems to anger him as he withdraws from you.
Your breath hitches in your throat as he hovers on top of you, your eyes widening at his glistening nose, mouth, and chin from your cum, as well as the predatory glint in his dark eyes.
“You’re going to take whatever I give you.” He says huskily, his face leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, allowing you to taste yourself as he forces his tongue into your mouth.
Your hands tentatively make their ascent to his neck, but he has other plans as he grabs your wrists effortlessly with one hand and pins them above your head, denying you from touching him or even escaping.
Breaking the messy lip lock, Jay trails his wet kisses down your neck before stopping at a specific spot that has you moaning breathily and distracting you as his fingers descend to your sensitive pussy.
“Jay!” You gasp out at the abrupt sensation of his fingers plunging into your pussy. Your hands form into fists in his impenetrable hold.
“Scream my name louder, babe.” He rasps against your skin, picking up the pace as he finger-fucks you. He ignores your soft, broken cries in between wanton moans, which fuels his wickedness by driving you to the edge of your sanity.
“Jay! Please! No more!” You shake your head with tears leaking from your eyes, but your hips are grinding against him as you ride his fingers like you’re riding his cock, which brings a condescending smirk to his lips.
“Baby can take it.” He croons to you, kissing you softly on the lips, silencing your cries. “Yeah, fuck yourself on my fingers just like that. My angel baby is doing so well.” He rasps against your swollen, wet lips while your heart does a little leap at his praise.
The obscene squelching sound emitting from your drenched pussy, along with his thumb occasionally rubbing your clit only intensifies the knot in your tummy as it tightens. 
Your jaw goes slack while your eyes go white at the delirious pleasure as he curls his fingers, hitting that specific spot deliciously. He can feel your walls tightening around his digits, signifying your impending orgasm.
He leans down to kiss your arched neck before slotting over to your parted lips. “Cum for me, baby. That’s it.” He breathes out, whispering into your moaning mouth while his digits go still into your pulsating cunt as your juice coats around them.
Feeling your thighs trembling from the overstimulation, he presses a kiss on your temple before whispering sweet nothings into your ear, all the while slowly withdrawing his fingers from your spent pussy, which are coated in your cum, and releasing your wrists.
Your heavy eyelids slowly flutter close while you breathe heavily from the aftermath, but the butterflies remain in their wake as soon as you feel his lips on your cheek, kissing you deeply with palpable affection.
His lips hover above yours before giving you a tender kiss that has you reciprocating deeply while you grasp a flickering energy to hook your arms around his neck. “Feel better now, angel?” He murmurs against your lips.
You merely hum in response, unable to find any energy to speak. You flutter your eyes open as soon as you feel him moving away from you, eliciting a whine from you, needing him to hold you.
“Hold on, angel. I'm just going to clean you up.” Jay tells you, grabbing some tissues before returning to you. With gentleness, he wipes away any excess of your cum on your skin.
This time, there is a genuine tranquilly in the silence that envelops you and him, and a sense of trust feels profound, lulling you to trust the man who had given you reasons for you to evade him.
Despite your legs being slightly sore, you slowly raise your body vertical, watching as he throws the tissues in the bin at the side. “Wonyoung and Yunjin informed my mother about it.” You break the ice, and your voice sounds hoarse with a familiar lump of emotions stuck in your throat. “They hate me now.”
With your head hanging low, the warmth of his palm on your cheek prompts you to look up and meet his eyes. Truly, Jay is an enigma. His softened eyes hold such affection for you, and yet you can discern the raging storms in the depths of his eyes.
“I don’t hate you.” His sincerity shines through, making it impossible for you to harbour any mistrust for him. He leans his forehead against yours, his thumb caressing your cheek. “You have me, baby. You don’t need them.”
You tuck your bottom lip in between your teeth. “But what if I do?”
Jay puts an end to your doubt with a kiss on your lips, a kiss that has you melting against him as you loop your arms around his neck while his hands grip your bottoms to move you on his lap.
“You don’t need them.” Jay reiterates against your lips, his low growl sending shivers to your body. His hands move underneath your blouse, wanting to feel for your skin. You pull away from his lips as your eyes flutter open, meeting his that belie dark promises. “You only need me, baby. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
You hesitantly nod your head, which earns you a pleased smirk from him. The exertion from the events that happened today dawns on you, inviting yourself to lean into him dependently with your cheek pressing against his shoulder.
“I want to sleep.” You say languidly, your eyes fluttering closed as you bask in his warmth and comfort with his arms secure around your figure.
Jay presses a kiss on your shoulder before whispering softly, “Sleep all you want, baby.” 
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Maybe Jay is right. You don’t need your best friends when you have him, Jake, and even Sunghoon to keep you company, albeit you haven’t seen them at all since you decided to overstay your welcome in the palace, despite Jay’s insistence that your presence is more wholeheartedly welcomed here than anyone else.
Earlier, when you woke up in Jay’s bed, your head was pounding incessantly as you reeled in the bad hangover. Of course, the regret came afterwards when the recollections dawned on you, but you most certainly didn’t regret coming to Jay.
Naturally, you lowered your expectations, sceptical that he would revert to the asshole he was before, but he exceeded your expectations by the turnover of his behaviour.
“Baby, are you done yet?” You hear his voice just right outside of the fitting room, but you remain rooted to the floor, your disbelieving eyes staring at your reflection in the mirror as you are donning two-piece black lace lingerie with an erotic touch of straps that are attached to the fishnet tights.
Maybe he exceeded your expectations even further, because firstly, when Jay decided to provide you with the princess treatment you had yearned for, you never would have thought that he’d be bringing you to one of the expensive lingerie brands at the famous Grand Mall the morning after three orgasms.
It is even confounding when he doesn’t seem to be the slightest bothered by the curious yet ogling eyes of the ladies in the establishment. Heck, he even goes through every rack and meticulously chooses the items that most suit you.
The sound of knocks abruptly pulls you out of your thoughts. “Let me in, angel.”
You shake your head vehemently before facepalming yourself for forgetting that he can’t see you. “I-I’m fine! Just trying to put it on, still!” The nervousness in your tone totally gives away.
There is a brief silence before the sound of the door lock clicks, alarming you as you instantaneously step away from the mirror when the door slowly pushes open. You see the back of his hair peeking out first as you hide next to the door.
“Jay! What if I wasn’t wearing anything?!” You whisper harshly, your arms covering your chest. 
His head quickly turns to the other side, now meeting your scowling face, but his eyes immediately scan your fine contours shamelessly. His cock twitches in his pants while his mouth nearly salivates at the sight of you. Fuck, you look even better than he imagined.
Take her. That is what his demons are telling him. To take you and fuck you right here and now, after waiting long enough. He fights back, refusing to have his first with you at this very place. Besides, if he could master self-restraint last night, then he should be able to do the exact same now.
His eyes are drinking in your whole outlook before they settle on your face. The faint shade of pink colours your cheeks while you avoid his eyes. He inwardly groans. Are you trying to kill him for looking irresistibly sexy yet at the same time adorable? 
At the sound of the door locking, you finally divert your bewildered gaze to him, taken aback by the discernible change in his demeanour. Your face contorts into confusion.
“Jay, what are you doin─”
“Come here, angel.” He orders calmly, and you know better than to get him to repeat it twice.
Your steps are tentative, apprehensive at the intensity of his dark gaze that doesn’t seem to stray from your face anytime soon. Once you are within his reach, he grabs your arm to pull you closer to him. His arm snakes around your waist, holding you securely, while the other goes to cradle your face.
Your heart only pounds harder against your chest, unable to look away from his beautiful yet hauntingly dark eyes that speak volume while his hand on your bare skin from behind sends you goosebumps.
“You never cease to amaze me.” He says so softly, and yet you know that the darkness lurks beneath him in the way he is gazing at you. “You look beautiful, baby.”
Sure, you had developed the bedroom praise kink since the night Jake took your virginity, but now? The man who is holding you has amplified the aforementioned kink, resulting in the flutters in your tummy intensifying.
“Do I, now?” You ask in a murmur as diffident colours your now warm cheeks, and upon seeing this effect up close, a lazy smirk touches his lips. 
“Yeah, you are. So, so beautiful.” His voice sounds thicker, laden with lust, while his dark, alluring eyes seem to be pulling you in as you find yourself leaning into him, your head tilting to an angle that has him cradling the back of your head before he smashes his lips against yours.
His lips, his touch, his scent ─ everything about him ignites your senses tenfold. You can practically feel yourself melt against him as the fervent exchange of kisses consumes you. Without breaking the lip lock, you feel him moving you as you hold onto his arm.
Pinning you against the wall next to the mirror, his wet muscle breaches into your entry, desiring to explore every inch of you once more. A breathy moan from your throat sends his cock twitching as your tongue messily keeps up with his. He bites down your bottom lip, sucking and pulling it, before silencing your cute gasp.
“Jay.” You mewl into the kiss, your hands fisting the material of his top in an attempt to pull yourself away from his chasing lips. “We can’t.”
Jay simply ignores your protest, trailing his kisses down your jaw and throat while you willingly bare your neck for him to decorate your skin with his long-awaited mark. You flutter your eyes close as you succumb to the mere pleasure of his lips on your neck, moaning breathily at his arrival on that sensitive spot.
Just as you expected, he sinks his teeth into your skin, contemplating whether to draw out blood or not before showing leniency and applying pressure enough to leave a mark. You feel a familiar throb on your neck from his mark before his tongue licks on the same spot as though to soothe it.
Jay litters his kisses at the untouched parts of your neck before returning to your lips, kissing you harshly and pulling away. As your eyes meet his, you recognise that look ─ the very same look when Jake and Sunghoon decided to breach your entry.
“Take it off.” Just his voice alone is enough to ignite your arousal. Despite your hesitancy, you comply. Your lip is tucked between your teeth as you slowly remove the bottom, but just as you are about to remove the bra, he stops you. “Keep those on.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to wrap the current situation around your head as he turns you around, moving you to the side and prompting you to stare into your reflections. At the moment you hear something unzipping, your eyes flicker down to his garments on the floor.
Like an untamed beast, he roughly has you bend over, prompting you to hold onto the mirror for support. “Jay, we can’t. Not here.” Despite your protest, you feel your pussy throbbing in anticipation, with the pre-essence already leaking down your walls.
“We can, because I said so.” Jay grunts out, startling you as he taps his tip onto your wet folds. He scoffs lightly. “Are you sure you don’t want this? You’re soaking, angel.”
You open your mouth to speak, but a moan leaves your lips instead as soon as his cock slowly breaches into your cunt, which wholeheartedly welcomes him despite having to adjust to his girth.
“So fucking tight.” Jay grits his teeth, your walls are enveloping him as though they never want to let go. He watches as he slowly pushes his cock into you, disappearing into the depths of your warm yet wet cavity.
“Jay.” The familiar pain of having to adjust to his girth has you whimpering, and yet, your cunt continues to throb in desperate need of getting railed. You had no idea that it was possible for Jay to be thicker than Sunghoon.
His eyes meet yours in the mirror, and a smirk touches his lips, drinking in how beautifully pliant you are. Gripping your hips, he begins to experimentally thrust into you. You gasp at the delicious friction between your walls and his girth.
Upon seeing your face twist in mesmerising pleasure, Jay changes the pace, caving into the beast within him that he has been trying to tame. Every thrust is deliberate and hard, and each time he bottoms out completely, he stays still, pressing himself against your ass before resuming his thrusting.
“Jay.” You accidentally moan loudly before slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle out your moans.
“Better stay quiet, baby.” Jay grunts, pistoning his cock into your slick cunt as it emits the obscene, squelching sound. His lips curl into a smirk, relishing the way you are muffling out your moans with your palm. His eyes move to your jiggling boobs, wanting nothing more than to suck your nipples.
Licking his lips, his hand moves underneath your body to grope your boob tightly before raising your body, your back hitting his chest while he remains unyielding in fucking into you. Another moan manages to escape noisily from you as he hits that specific spot.
“You want everyone to hear how much you love my cock, don’t you?” He says mockingly in between bated breaths. “Yeah, I bet you do. Just a hungry whore who needs to be fucked all the time.” He leans down to bite your shoulder as he feels you squeezing him tight. “Oh? You like that?” He rasps against your skin, now trailing his kisses on your neck.
Your jaw goes slack at the sensation of his fingers rubbing your bundle of nerves, amplifying your pleasure, while your stomach tightens with the familiar knot. You don’t bother to conceal your moans as you succumb to the delirious pleasure, your eyes rolling to the back.
“Look at yourself, baby.” He nips at your earlobe, prompting you to heed his instructions. Your breath hitches at the obscenity reflecting in the mirror, yet it is erotic, and with his administration on your clit while he continues to thrust his cock into you, everything drives you to the edge.
“Jay, I’m cumming.” You manage to utter in between teetering breaths. His fingers seize your chin, turning your head for access to capture your lips in a heated kiss.
“Cum for me.” He murmurs against your lips, swallowing your moans as you fuck yourself back onto him before cumming hard all over his cock. He doesn’t relent from thrusting in you, even when your juice is leaking down his shaft completely.
Pulling away from your swollen lips, Jay unsheathes his cock from your gaping hole. He turns you around again and presses you up against the wall before crouching down in front of you, rendering you flabbergasted as you attempt to compose yourself from the post-orgasm.
“Lift your legs and put them over my shoulders.” He demands, looking up at you while his hand squeezes your calf.
This time, you remain unmoving, and the insecurity washes over you due to your weighty thighs. “B-But I’m heavy.” 
His eyes darken dangerously. “I won’t repeat myself another time. Put your legs over my shoulders, angel.”
His rough command sends you shivers, compelling you to slowly lift your leg, but it seems he lacks patience as he grabs your leg and hangs it over his shoulder before doing the same to your other leg with such ease.
You don’t even have the time to marvel at his strength for holding you up against the wall as he stands with his hands supporting your derreriè before his lips latch onto your clit, wasting no time sucking and licking it.
“Jay!” You slap your palm over your mouth, muffling out your moan again. Your back is arched while your head is tilted up with your eyes rolled to the back, getting lost in the depths of pleasure by his sinful tongue lapping and slurping your juice.
Tears prickle in your eyes, hating and loving the sensitivity he is inflicting upon you. Your other hand is tangled in his hair, gripping and tugging the roots that have him groaning into your drenched pussy before ravaging you completely, his nose constantly rubbing against your clit.
Even covering your noisy mouth is a futile attempt, as the sound of your moans manages to fill the space of this fitting room. The muscles in your abdomen tighten with the familiar knot while your orgasm is impending once more, but this time, it comes down on you violently with your thighs trembling.
Jay, who is utterly drunk on your pussy, greedily slurps your juices as you come undone for the second time. You whimper at the sensitivity, feeling his tongue tantalisingly lick your drenched folds before he plants a tender kiss on your nub.
As much as Jay would like to draw out another orgasm from you, he knows that he should stop before getting too immersive. He withdraws from you, carefully setting you down while you find your knees buckling underneath you, prompting you to latch your hand onto his arm for support.
“What about you?” You ask shakily while your head is still buzzing from the aftermath. His confused eyes meet yours. “You haven’t cum yet.” Your lips form into a small pout, to which he can’t resist giving you a toe-curling kiss with your arms hooking around his neck.
Jay hums against your lips, and his hand moves down to grope your butt cheek. “Your pleasure is mine, and that is more than enough for me, baby.” He whispers affectionately as he pulls away from your lips.
Smirking down at you, he squeezes your plumpness before smacking your ass. “Get another set of this lingerie.” He says huskily, leaning down to press a sensual kiss on your neck at where your mark is.
“Why?” You ask, blushing at the sight of his cock as he proceeds to put back on his garments.
You look away from him before you can get aroused once more. Just as you step forward, his arm latches around your waist from behind, pulling you to him as your back hits his chest.
He kisses your shoulder deeply before you feel him smirking against your skin. “Because I can’t guarantee that I won’t be destroying this set the next time.”
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The silence envelopes the two of you in a loving embrace, allowing you to bask in the serenity that you needed after a long, eventful day out with him earlier. Now, having settled in his room, you are seated on the couch situated in the middle of his room while he has his head resting comfortably on your thigh.
Your fingers gently rake through his soft locks, occasionally lulling him to sleep. With a tender gaze, you begin to scrutinise every detail of him ─ his eyelashes, his eyebrows, his sculpted nose, and you even notice freckles across his cheeks that appear faintly, tempting you to kiss them. When your eyes fall to his pink lips, you frown, seeing the noticeable scar on his bottom lip.
Honestly, the thought of asking him about the scar on his lip often comes to mind, but whenever you wanted to inquire, something held you back from doing so, as if asking a harmless question would result in unpleasantness.
Just like the rest of his best friends, Jay remains an enigma, one that you desire to unravel. Maybe it has to do with the dynamic change between you and him, but you yearn to be close to him, and not just physically. You want to know what his genuine likes and dislikes are, what his childhood was like, the meaning of his tattoos, basically everything about him.
“You’re quiet.” His husky voice startles you, and when you look at him, his eyes remain closed.
“So are you.” You retort with a soft tone while you continue to rake your fingers through his hair. “Are you that tired?”
“I’m not tired. I just love the silence.” He mutters. “It helps to calm me down and allow me to regulate my emotions.”
Your piqued interest nearly reaches its peak. “Really? I thought drinking and smoking would do so.”
“You’re not entirely wrong, but silence is something I deeply appreciate.” You can sense his hesitancy as he pauses. “It was always noisy back at home.”
You manage to catch his dry yet low utterance. You stop your fingers from playing with his hair as you bite your bottom lip. “What was your childhood like?”
“Why do you want to know?” He asks, fluttering his eyelids open to stare at you.
You shrug your shoulders. “Just curious. I mean, I told you mine earlier in the car.” You did, and you’re thankful that Jay even bothered to entertain your yapping despite needing to focus on the road.
“You wouldn’t want to hear mine, but in short, it’s the opposite of yours.” He scoffs lightly, raising his body to grab his cigarette box, whereas you frown at the loss of his warmth.
You watch as he lights up his stick before inhaling and puffing out the smoke. Upon your loud silence, he takes a glance at you with an arched eyebrow. “I have a feeling that you have more questions for me. Shoot them out, baby.”
Your eyes flicker at his lips. “That scar on your lip.” You murmur, and the way his body flinches lightly doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “What happened?”
A muscle pulses in his jaw, taking another long drag of the tobacco. “I got punched by my father when I was fourteen. His ring gave me this scar.”
Your eyebrows are softly knit together, in complete disbelief. “When you were fourteen? It’s been years, so your scar is permanent?”
“Yeah, but not that it bothers me.” Jay states in a monotone manner, whereas you are taken aback by his indifference. You notice the swift change in his demeanour, watching as he takes one last drag of his cigarette.
“I’m sorry for what happened to you.” You say softly, treading carefully with your words. “Regardless of the reason, no father should ever raise his hand to his child.”
“Don’t, Y/N.” He warns. “Don’t pity me or whatever shit people like you do just to show that you care when you don’t.” His cold eyes glare into your hurtful ones, while his tone no longer holds any traces of warmth or affection.
“But I do care. I care about you, Jay.” You counter vehemently, concealing your hurt with a firm facade. 
The familiar cruelty plastered itself on his face, smirking at you. “Do you really? Or you just care for the sake of keeping me around with you just so I can continue to fuck you instead of other girls?”
His words feel like a slap in the face, but you know for yourself that that isn’t true. You curl your hand into a fist, refraining from acting upon your hurt. “I don’t understand you, Jay. What does it take for you to believe that I truly care?”
“I didn’t ask for you to understand me.” If his tone could actually cut you, then you would probably bleed. “You should’ve kept your mouth shut instead of prying into matters that didn’t concern you.”
The lump in your throat is starting to hurt, but you force yourself to sound firm still. “It always ends up back to square one with you, and for the record, I wasn’t prying. I was just stating a fact. What your father did to you isn’t normal─”
“Shut the fuck up about him.” He snarls coldly, and the look in his eyes causes you to flinch visibly. You hear a crack in your heart at the familiar animosity storming in his eyes. “What are you? My fucking therapist? Is that what you’re trying to do here? You’re trying to diagnose me like I’m some helpless kid who needs help and understanding?”
“I─” Your voice shakes palpably as each word he speaks only carves the wounds deeper in your heart. You try to form any coherent words, but the longer his callous gaze drills into you, the more you want to bury yourself six feet under.
Despite the unmistakable rage in his eyes, your hurt outweighs your fear for him. You only had good intentions, wanting to get to know him better, but you didn’t expect things to end up like this.
“I wasn’t trying to diagnose you.” You manage to say, but weakly faint, and you’re uncertain if he catches onto that as he rises from the couch and grabs his coat from the rack.
“I’m going for a walk. Ask Heeseung or anyone else to drive you back to your dorm.” He mutters dryly, not sparing you a glance as he advances forward.
“I just wanted to be close to you, Jay.” Your whisper surprisingly reaches his ears as he halts his steps. A tinge of hope touches your chest. You stare at his back while your teary eyes blur with each blink.
Jay deflates just slightly as he clenches his fist. The strings pulling at his heart have become oddly unbearable. Swallowing harshly, he holds back any remarks, or else he might feel the slightest guilt for saying things to you he doesn’t actually mean once more.
You watch as he gets further until he slams the door closed loudly, leaving you alone in the coldness of his room with rivulets of tears cascading down your cheeks.
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Three days. Three agonising days without Jay — without his kisses, without his warmth, without his tender gazes. Maybe this is you exaggerating, but God, you feel like you might actually die without him by your side.
Your bleeding heart yearns for him while your mind is caught up in a whirlwind of tempestuous emotions. The rational part of you is adamant, berating you for yearning for the man who has given you a litany of reasons why you should no longer further associate yourself with him.
But then again, the heart wants what it wants, and you would be a fool to ignore it.
Biting your lip harshly, you pour yourself another drink before downing the tequila shot as you throw your head to the back. The blasting music in the background fades as you get more immersive in taking more shots, hoping that all the liquor drowns out your sadness and is a distraction from reeling in heartbreak.
“Take it slow, Y/N.” Chaewon’s concerned voice nearly deters you, and when Kazuha snatches your glass away from you, you shoot her a scowl.
“I wasn’t done.” You sound tipsy, but you know that you’re still sober. Fortunately, not all of your circle of friends have abandoned you. Kazuha, Chaewon, and Rei seem to be the only ones who still bother to reach out to you. “Come on. I swear, I’m not drunk!”
“Uh, yeah, you are.” Rei retorts. “You’re doing that smiley thing when you’re drunk.”
“What smiley thing?” You tilt your head to one side, smiling lazily at her, before a bubble of giggles comes up to your throat. A contented sigh leaves your lips as you cup your cheeks with your elbows resting on the table. “Have any of you girls fallen in love?”
The three ladies exchange wary glances, having a collective sense that it is a rhetorical question, and they’re correct.
“I have! I mean, I don’t know if it’s love or infatuation.” You babble to yourself, your lips jutting into a pout. “Can somebody get a love doctor to diagnose me? My heart feels strange and all jittery thinking about three men….”
“Oh, girl,” Rei sighs, shaking her with a glinting sympathy in her eyes as she stares at you. “You’re too far gone.”
“They’re so mean. Two of them have been avoiding me, my calls, and my texts.” You complain to them as you cling to Chaewon’s arm, whining. “And you want to know who is the meanest of them all?”
“Uh, oh. Here she comes.” Rei points out, drawing their attention to your eyes brimming with tears.
You begin to snivel, tears escaping the corners of your eyes. “Jay. He─” A hiccup leaves your lips. “He fooled me into thinking that he changed.”
“Y/N.” Chaewon sighs softly, but you shake your head at her.
“I don’t care that he hates me, Chaewon.” You chuckle brokenly in between snivelling. “I just miss him so much. I want him the same way I want Jake and Sunghoon. Does that make me a selfish whore? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, it does.”
“You’re not a whore, Y/N.” Kazuha reaches for your hand and gives it a firm squeeze. “Please don’t label yourself that.”
You whimper, retracting your hand from her touch. “You know what’s worse? I don’t give a damn if I’m being a desperate, selfish whore. All I want is for them to like me back.” Cue the ugly sobs.
“A glass of water, please.” Kazuha flags down the bartender with a tight smile, her hand rubbing your back comfortingly.
“There are other guys better than them, baby.” Chaewon murmurs softly to you as you lean dependently into her, whereas Rei uses her body to shield you from prying eyes, to which she shoots glares at them.
The endearment only seems to break you, making you sob harder. “Jay used to call me that.” You manage to utter. “Isn’t it ironic how badly I want him back when he’s not even mine to begin with?”
You don’t hear any response from your friends, not that it bothers you. With your moral support surrounding you, you feel a wave of assurance as you allow yourself to wallow in sadness for a little longer.
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“There! All done!” Rei beams with a dazzling smile, which is infectious enough for you to lift a smile of your own after applying a lip gloss to your lips. “Now you’re back on the stunning track!”
Of course, after the crying session comes the dancing, according to Chaewon. It took you approximately thirty minutes to calm down and sober yourself up, despite the fact that you still feel tipsy, but nevertheless, it fuels your self-confidence to dance the night away with your friends.
Earlier, you had your second exam, and it was by far the worst due to the fact that your mind often drifted to Jay and you almost didn’t manage to finish the last few questions. Fortunately, your last exam falls next week, which allows you to indulge your cravings for a little bit.
“Chae! Isn’t this your song?” Kazuha asks loudly over the reverberating music as she and Chaewon drag you further into the throng of people dancing, grinding, and even making out lewdly in the open.
Chaewon lets out a playful scoff. “Of course! Come on, Y/N! Flaunt us your moves!”
Trusting yourself a little, you allow the alcohol that remains buzzing in your system to guide you, and soon, your body begins moving to the infectious rhythm sensually. The cheering of your friends and their smiles of encouragement elevate your self-confidence, while the upbeat music drives you further, succumbing to the intoxicating abysmally.
In the midst of revelling in all of this, you know for yourself that when tomorrow comes, you’ll wake up in tears once more, just as you did for the past three days. For now, you allow yourself to forget your pain, even if it’s just ephemeral.
Hands. You feel hands on your waist, and the way this person is holding you feels oddly familiar. You hear his low, ragged breaths next to your ear. Your heart nearly leaps at the sound of his voice, which you have longed to hear.
“Have you missed me, lovely?” Jake murmurs softly into your ear, prompting you to falter in dancing. “Don’t stop now, angel. You were dancing so well.”
“Jaeyun.” Your mind is in a tangle of emotions, uncertain whether to lash out your anger at him or simply enjoy his alluring company. You look over your shoulder and meet his sultry gaze, but you discern a tinge of softness in it.
Jake offers you a smile that has you falling all over again. “I’ve missed you dearly, lovely.” He leans down, his lips ghosting above yours, before whispering, “Dance with me, and then you can get mad at me all you want.”
You scoff, rolling your eyes, but nevertheless, you pick up the rhythm where you left off. The way he moves is in tune with you, and soon you find yourself loosening every tension. Facing him, you shoot him a lazy yet sultry gaze before he pulls you back to him, his arm caging your waist while the other goes to caress your cheek, admiring how beautiful you look under resplendent lighting.
Jake flickers his gaze behind you as he slowly loosens his grip before casting the person behind you a smirk. “He wants a turn with you too, angel.”
Before you can turn, you feel another pair of hands on your waist, and this time, warm lips come into contact with your exposed shoulder, kissing you tenderly.
“Hey, princess.” Sunghoon greets you in a murmur, intensifying the butterflies within you while your mind is in a frenzy of being caged between the very two men you are supposed to unleash your anger at. “You look so fucking good.”
“Yeah? I look good?” You ask breathily, the rising tension in the air feels suffocating enough. You feel his hand seizing your jaw and turning your head to the side, now meeting his eyes.
“You would look even better without anything in my bed.” Sunghoon places a chaste kiss on your lips that is enough to render you needy. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
“Then why didn’t you find me? Why did you avoid me like the plague?” You try your utmost to keep your raging emotions at bay, but even they can discern your resentment.
“We had to.” Jake’s lips on your cheek momentarily dissuade you from the main issue. “You have no idea how hard it was for us.”
“He’s right, princess.” Sunghoon continues to trail his kisses from your exposed shoulder to your neck while Jake silences your whimper with his lips. Sunghoon grabs your waist tighter. “So fucking hard, but for now, you’re Jay’s."
The mere mention of his name sets you off. “Don’t mention his name.”
“Jay, he’s sorry for being a dick to you.” Jake murmurs, looking at you with a sympathetic smile, but it seems to add fuel to your resentment for the aforementioned.
“Jay wants to make it up to you, princess.” Even Sunghoon’s butterfly kisses on your skin lose their effect on swaying you.
“I don’t trust you. If he’s sorry, then where is he now?” The hurt is evident in your tone, and it is something that ignites mutual anger within the two men for Jay.
“He’s here─”
“I can’t do this. Not right now.” You shake your head, your hands attempting to push them away, and surprisingly, they release you, allowing you to depart from the dance floor.
Rei, who has been texting away on her phone while also being the one to watch over your purses, lifts her head to see you walking towards her. She greets you with a confused smile. “Hey! That was fast. You’re done dancing for the night?” She asks unsurely as she watches you sling your purse over your shoulder.
“I need to take a breather.” You tell her, giving her a tight smile while your skull begins to throb. “I’ll be fine, Rei. I promise not to cry anymore. Men aren’t worth my tears.”
What a liar.
Thankfully, Rei seems to believe the semblance of your newfound outlook, beaming you a smile before resuming her business while you grasp the opportunity to navigate your way out of the club.
Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry, not yet. You keep telling yourself that with your fist clenched. Men ain’t shit. They don’t deserve your tears.
As the cold midnight air greets your skin, your eyes scan your surroundings, noticing a few smokers from the opposite street, but they seem too immersed in their business.
With your head throbbing incessantly, you go still outside of the establishment, comprehending whatever happened back there, and once it coalesces into one account, the tumultuous emotions you have been keeping at bay implode.
It starts off as a snivel with tears rolling down your cheeks, but maybe the remnants of alcohol in your system affect you as well, amplifying your heightened emotions that are beginning to feel unbearable as they wrap you in a cold hug.
You crouch down, weeping your heart out as tears fall to the concrete pavement. Maybe you are being melodramatic, or maybe you are actually drunk, but the pain in your heart consumes you.
“You bad guy.” You utter in between sobs and hiccups, too engrossed to notice a shadow looming over yours from behind. The sound of your cries quietens when you feel some sort of material draping over your shoulders.
Not bothered by your ruined mascara, you wipe away your tears on your cheeks before slowly lifting your head up when you hear footsteps. Your heart nearly lurches in your chest as you meet his eyes.
You stand abruptly, your hand holding onto his jacket draped over your shoulders. “Jay.”
His face remains impassive, but his eyes speak volumes as he extends his hand to you. “Let’s get you back to your dorm.”
Removing his jacket, you thrust it into his arms. “I don’t need you, not anymore.” Your shoulder bumps into him roughly as you walk past him, but you fail to realise that his determination is parallel to Sunghoon's and Jake’s.
“Let go of me, Jay!” You struggle to yank your arm from his tight grip. You glare into his eyes through teary vision. “You wanted this, right? You no longer needed me because I’m just another girl for you to fuck and toss aside once you’re done.”
“You’re wrong.” Jay says calmly, looking entirely different from your expectation of him to lash out at you again. His eyes scan your countenance. “You’re drunk, angel.”
“No, I’m not, but maybe you are the drunk one.” You strongly assert, albeit you sound sluggish, while your headache renders you slightly disoriented. Your attempt at struggling ceases, and mental exhaustion is beginning to take a toll on you. “I’m so tired, Jay.” You mumble numbly while tears silently cascade down your cheeks.
“I know, baby.” His soft tone lulls you, compelling you into his dark allure once more as you find yourself leaning into him with his hand now cradling your cheek. “Let’s get you back, okay?”
“I don’t want to go back. I want to be close to you.” You plead in a whimper, your glistening eyes holding such longing desperation that it sends his fucked-up mind into a spiral. “Don’t push me away again. I’m sorry for what I said before. I’ll be good to you.”
“You’ve always been good to me, baby.” His voice barely above a whisper. He presses a kiss on your forehead before pulling you along with him. His grasp on your arm is a gentle security that has you moving closer to him.
“Don’t send me back to my dorm, please.” You manage to tell him in a murmur, now settling in the passenger seat while he switches on the ignition before losing consciousness.
“I know.”
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It is no surprise to you that you woke up in Jay’s bed since the last thing you remembered was him tending to you and getting you to change into his clothes that were more comfortable than your skimpy dress.
The aromatic scent of the candle is a familiar smell to you that sparsely alleviates your throbbing skull since you are still reeling from the hangover. Your steps are tentative and light, while your eyes are examining every part and ornament in his room.
Unlike Sunghoon’s room, you notice that Jay’s room lacks any picture frames of his family. Your eyes trail to the familiar black mask on the vanity table. You can’t stop yourself from reaching for it and examining it closer.
The door swings open, startling you as you nearly stagger back. His sharp gaze meets yours, and instantly, the familiar fear creeps on you at the thought of him getting angry at you for poking your nose into his business once more.
“I’m sorry. I was just─”
“Baby.” He cuts you off, now ambling towards you with a softened gaze. “No more apologies from you.”
You refrain from doing so again, smacking your lips together. He beckons for you to come closer, and you do so tentatively. He grabs your hand, raising it to place a gentle kiss on your palm.
“Jay.” Your voice barely above a whisper while your glistening eyes meet his.
“You said you wanted to be close to me, right?” He asks softly as he positions your palm on his cheek, leaning into your touch. “I wish for the same too.”
Your lips quiver in sadness as you recall. “You hurt my feelings."
He moves closer to you. “I know.”
A hiccup leaves your lips. “I don’t want you to push me away like that again.”
“I won’t.” His promising tone sends an assurance to you. He leans down to kiss your forehead, your cheek, and your nose before meeting your lips. “Let me make it up to you, baby.” He murmurs into the kiss.
Jay withdraws from you to grab something in his pocket. Relief spreads across your chest as you see your necklace in his grasp. “Turn around, angel.”
With your back facing him, you wait in anticipation, and your heart goes fluttering as he pushes your hair gently to one side before securing the necklace around your neck.
“I had it fixed yesterday.” He murmurs, his fingers stroking your nape and sending you chills. “You’re free to go, you know? You’re no longer tethered to me.”
You turn around to give him a look of disbelief. “But you said you wished to be closer to me.”
He sighs softly as he tucks your hair behind your ear. “I don’t want to force you to stay either.”
“You’re not forcing anything. Just─” Frustration begins to bubble within you, and you boldly initiate the kiss, slamming your lips against his, which nearly knocks the breath out of him. “I don’t want to leave.” You manage to say in between the kisses, your arms hooking around his neck to pull him closer.
Jay groans lowly into the kiss, getting aroused by your fervour and desperation. “Baby─” He tightens his hold onto your waist as you nip at his bottom lip, a skill that you pick up from the kisses you experienced with the three men.
Before Jay can get too carried away, he forces himself to withdraw from your chasing lips. His arm around your waist tightens while his eyes darken at the sight of your dazed ones. “Are you really sure you don’t want to leave?”
Something in his tone sends an eerie chill to your core. Nevertheless, you nod your head in confirmation. “I mean it when I say I want to be close to you, as long as you promise not to push me away again.”
“I hope you don’t take back your words.” He says in a dark lull, but his gaze remains softened as he caresses your cheek. “Because from this moment forth, I won’t be letting you go. Not now, not ever.”
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Jay knew you were up to something when you decided to rile him up after intentionally and deliberately executing your cute little schemes on him since yesterday ─ your innocent yet sultry gaze as you bat your eyelashes at him, your acrylic nails grazing across his chest until they reach his lower region and caressing his raging cock beneath the confines of his slacks, the way you not-so-discreetly wiggle your ass against him whenever he back-hugs you.
Oh, you’re fucking cute, alright. Let’s see how cute you’re going to end up by the time he’s done with you. This time, he won’t be holding back anymore.
“You look so gorgeous in these.” He murmurs against your lips, his hands roaming around your body, which is adorned by the very lingerie set he bought you. He silences your whimper by deepening the kiss as soon as he smacks your ass before squeezing the flesh. He withdraws from your chasing lips. “Do you know what you got yourself into, angel?”
“No?” Your cheeky response only seems to rile him up even more. You squeal as he lands another smack on your ass before he manhandles you, carrying you by the waist, and has you settled on his bed. Your breath hitches in your throat as he forces you to lie down, gripping your hands above your head. “Jay─”
You smack your lips shut together as soon as you see black ropes in his grasp. Your pulse drums in your ear loudly as he uses them to bind your wrists together, rendering you wholly vulnerable and helpless. Now you are displayed prettily, all for him to feast his eyes upon and to do whatever he wants with you.
You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, watching as he practically tears your lower lingerie apart before tossing it aside. When his dark eyes meet yours, you have an inkling that you’ll need at least twelve hours of sleep afterwards.
“You think you’re so cute, tryna’ rile me up.” His rough, husky voice only arouses you further. “This is what you wanted, right? You wanted me to stuff you full with my cock.”
“Yes.” You say breathily, your back is slightly arched as you slowly spread your legs, attempting to entice him while he is refraining himself from devouring you. “Please fuck me, Jay.”
“Nah, after those cute little stunts?” He chuckles lethally softly, and before you know it, you feel pleasurable vibrations at a rapid speed on your clit with that tears a loud moan from you.
“Jay!” You moan out a cry as soon as he presses the small device onto your clit, the sensation is mind-numbingly delirious. Your hips buck up as he pushes two digits into your drenched folds, scissoring you deliberately and slowly, toppling you nearly to the edge.
Hovering over you, he places a chaste kiss on your lips while his fingers continue to fuck you. “You’re gonna be a good girl for me, baby?” Your heart flutters at how affectionate he sounds, in contrast to the way his dark eyes seem to pull you in dangerously.
“Y-Yes.” You stutter, your breaths staggering, while your mind is in a frenzy from the insane pleasure. 
“Then don’t cum until I say so.” He whispers, kissing your cheek deeply before he withdraws his fingers from you, eliciting a whine from you. “I’ll be quick.”
You throw your head back in frustration, tears pricking your eyes as the vibrations get unbearable. You bite down on your bottom lip, attempting to muffle your moans. The sound of his footsteps sends you a wave of relief. You want nothing more than for him to fuck you.
“Jay.” You whine as soon as he hovers over you, bucking your hips impatiently as he unclips your strapless bra before tossing it aside. “Please. Want you so bad.”
“I know, baby, just a little more.” The sensation of something cold shocks you before you look down to see him holding the ice and sliding it down your chest until it reaches your perky nipple.
“Jay! It’s cold!” You squeal as he circles the ice cube on your nipple. He simply casts you a smirk before leaning down to give his attention to the other nipple, encasing it with his lips. The sensitivity renders you a moaning mess, feeling his tongue licking and sucking your nipple while the other is stimulated by the ice cube. 
Jay pulls away from your nipple with a wet pop before littering his kisses on the expanse of your breasts and humming in satisfaction. “Mmhmh fuck. Love your tits so much.” He murmurs against your skin before diverting his attention to the other nipple, cold from the ice.
Your body shivers from the coldness as he glides the ice cube across your chest before descending to your abdomen, all the way until he stops at your leaking cunt. “I told you not to cum, did I not?”
“I swear I didn’t!” As soon as you exclaim, he pulls the device away from your sensitive clit, but he doesn’t spare you any minute to recover as he presses the melting ice onto your clit, eliciting a whimper from you. “Too cold!” You whine helplessly as you attempt to move away from him, but he simply locks you in place with his firm hand on your hip. “Jay!”
“Shhh, you’re going to take what I give you, angel.” He says in a lull, the wickedness lurking in his dark eyes as he smirks at you before dipping down to press his tongue on the melting cube steady on your clit, eliciting a needy whine from you. Due to the heat of his tongue, the ice melts quicker than he likes. His lips envelope your now-cold clit, sucking and licking it, which has your thighs trembling from the overstimulation. 
“Don’t you dare fucking cum.” His growl against your clit sends vibrations to your body, but your cunt won’t stop leaking. Pulling away from you, his fingers smack your clit sharply, earning him a cry from you. “Since you wanted to cum so fucking bad, you’ll be squirting for me.” Tears have leaked from your eyes at the painful yet pleasurable sensation as he smacks your clit and folds for a few more times before retrieving the vibrator at the side.
“Jay, no more.” You plead as you attempt to close your legs, but he simply smacks your thighs and forces them apart before pressing the device against your clit and shoving his fingers into you while his other hand reaches up to grab a hold of your neck. You scream, cry, and moan for his name as he is unyielding, fucking his fingers vigorously into your sopping cunt and the device vibrating on your clit, all the while, he speaks to you in a lull and kisses you, praising and degrading you.
Feeling your walls clenching around his fingers, he smirks wickedly at you as he increases the pace. “Go on, baby. Make a mess all over me.”
Bucking your hips up, your body convulses beneath him with your toes curling. White blinds your vision as soon as your orgasm comes crashing down in violent waves while a strong burst of fluid gushes out and splashes around his unrelenting fingers.
Jay licks his lips, watching as you don’t stop squirting with your fluids, now staining his bedsheets darker. “Fuck, that was so hot, baby.” He finally removes his fingers from your wholly drenched cunt and tosses the vibrator aside.
You can only manage a whimper, your head rolling to the side while your chest heaves up and down from the newfound yet delirious sensation of having to squirt. You turn your head lazily to face him, and butterflies flutter around you at the glorious sight of his toned abdominal muscles. “I can’t.” You protest, your body jerking in sensitivity as you feel him tap the head of his cock onto your clit multiple times.
“Yes, you can. You will take it like the good girl you are.” He says huskily, aiming his erected cock at where your hole is before allowing the head to breach in the entry. A breathy moan leaves your lips as he slowly thrusts into you, his hands at the sides of your head to support his weight.
“Still so fucking tight.” He grunts, relishing how your walls are hugging him snuggly. Each drag of his cock against your walls is tantalisingly slow, as though he is punishing you. At the movement of your hips bucking up in an attempt to fuck yourself deeply onto him, he scoffs out a smirk before curling his tattooed fingers around your neck, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Want me to fuck you fast, baby?”
“Please.” You mewl, pouting your lips and compelling him to kiss you, and he does. His thrusts remain slow and deliberate as he seals you in a searing kiss that feels unforgiving.
“Harder too?” He growls against your wet lips, withdrawing his cock from you and leaving the head inside before slamming his hips against yours hard with his cock burying to the hilt that has you moaning into the kiss. “Again, baby?” He chuckles breathily before repeating the action, and this time, the pace drastically changes, now fucking into you harder and faster.
“Oh, fuck!” You cry and moan out more profanity as he thrusts vigorously into you. You stare at him with glossy eyes, completely enamoured at how hot he looks with his dark eyes penetrating into yours, his tousled raven strands hanging over his forehead, his chiselled jaw locking, and his biceps muscles flexing every now and then. You clench your fists, wanting nothing more than to break free from the ropes and touch him.
Before your orgasm can reach its peak, he stops thrusting, eliciting needy whines from you. “Jay, please.” You grind your hips, letting yourself fuck on his cock.
With bated breaths, he leans down to place chaste kisses on your perky yet sensitive nipples before trailing wet kisses to your neck. “Remember when I said I wouldn’t be letting you go?” He murmurs against your skin, now slotting his lips over yours and kissing you sweetly. “I mean it.”
Jay resumes his thrust, this time deliberately slow yet hard, burying his cock to the hilt each time he thrusts, which has you seeing stars in your vision. His tongue glides across your lips before whispering, “I’m gonna breed you, angel.” His admission has your eyes widening, but he simply smirks at your reaction before snapping his hips painfully hard, drawing out a gasp from you. 
“Gonna make you a mommy.” He grunts out, feeling your walls clench like crazy around him. His eyes rake all over your body as he licks his lips. “Fuck, you’d look so good with a pregnant belly and swollen tits.”
“J-Jay!” A part of you fears the possibility of getting pregnant with his baby, but you find yourself willingly reciprocating his thrusts, wanting him to dump his cum into you.
“Yeah? You want my baby?” A sadistic smile smears across his lips, while the sinister in his eyes sends you chills. "Mmmhmm, I know you do.”
“Jay, please.” You whisper fearfully, shaking your head at him, but it only drives him further to the edge, increasing the pace before his orgasm finally reaches its peak.
You roll your eyes to the back as you feel his fingers rubbing your sensitive nub, your back arching with your chest pushed out, which entices him to capture your nipple with his lips again.
“Cum with me, baby.” He murmurs before resuming to suck your nipple like an infant. At his command, you violently come undone with a moan while a familiar fluid gushes from you. He doesn’t let up his thrust, even after painting your walls white.
“Jay.” You weakly whimper, your wrists are getting sore, and your pussy is entirely spent. Your body remains convulsing beneath him, with tears rolling down your cheeks at the overstimulation as he continues to fuck into you.
“One more, baby.” He leans back to grab your leg and hoist it to his shoulder, now angling his cock deeper into you, which arouses you once more. “Can you squirt for me again?”
You don’t respond, getting lost in the euphoric ecstasy with the smell of sex and sweat teeming in the air, his hot skin flushing against yours. His eyes darken at the sight of the pure bliss on your face, spurring him into drawing more orgasms from you.
“Angel baby.” He sighs pleasurably, releasing your leg to lean down on you, your nipples grazing his chest. You moan weakly in response, forcing yourself to look at him. Your heart flutters at the sentiments glinting amidst the darkness in his eyes.
“Jay.” You mewl out his name, wanting his lips on yours, and as if he can read your mind, he gives into what you want, kissing your willowy lips tenderly while his thrusts feel entirely different despite keeping the slow yet deliberate momentum.
“Yes, baby?” He asks gently against your lips, his hand descending to rub your clit in circles.
“I like you.” Your confession is uttered in a whimper, hips bucking up to chase for his thrust. “I like you so much.”
Something foreign stirs within him — something that he has never felt before towards any other girls he has been with in the past. He bites his lips hard, suppressing himself from allowing that odd emotion to surface. It’s even worse when falling for you is forbidden.
“Fuck this.” He nearly growls out before setting the pace hard yet slow, enough for sparks to fly in your vision. With his fingers unrelenting on your clit and his cock thrusting deeply into you, you come undone as you squirt once more.
You open your mouth to speak, but he silences you with his lips, kissing you with such desperation and longing. “Untie me, please.” You plead in between kisses. Surprisingly, he complies, pulling away from you to untie the robes.
Once your hands are freed, you tangle your fingers in his hair as he leans down to bury his face in the nook of your neck while he continues to thrust his cock into you, wanting to chase for his high. His hot breath tickles your skin while his hand moves down to grope your ass cheek. You raise your aching leg to lock around his waist, angling yourself to feel him deeply.
“Want your cum, Jay.” You say softly to his ear, eliciting a low groan from him as you intentionally clench your walls around his shaft.
“By you, I’m forever undone, angel.” With one last thrust, a deep moan elicits from him as he snaps his hips against yours and goes completely still, filling you with his cum while you gladly milk him. The mixture of your cum and his slowly leaks out from your cunt are overflowing.
His weight on top of you doesn’t bother you the slightest, relishing the trainquilly of post-orgasms bliss. Your fingers continue to rake through his hair and occasionally massage his head, drawing out deep, pleasurable sighs from him. You feel his cock eventually go soft as he remains buried in you.
“This feels nice.” He murmurs, sounding nearly asleep. “Not the fucking, I mean. Just being close to you like this with you playing with my hair.” This time, there is a tinge of vulnerability seeping between the cracks as he whispers, “No one has ever played with my hair like this. Not even my mother.”
Despite your curiosity tempting you to pry again, you know better than to say something that will result in another argument with him. Instead, you unfurl a soft smile, descending your hands to hold him. “Then I’ll play with your hair more often now─”
You pause as soon as the tips of your fingers touch something on his back that feels oddly like a scar, or perhaps scars, as you caress his back. This time, you can’t contain yourself. “Jay, your back….”
Jay’s silence is worrying you, and just as you expect him to lash out again, you feel him pressing his lips on your collarbone. “Don’t worry. They’re old scars.”
“Who would do this to you?” Your sadness is evident in your tone, and he wants nothing more than to dispel your sadness.
“My father.” He whispers, now trailing his kisses on your chest before seeking your lips. “It’s okay, baby. I turned out fine anyway.” As he slowly pulls away from your lips, he is taken aback by a fallen tear rolling down your cheek.
“You didn’t deserve to go through that.” You say shakily as you cup his cheek, staring deeply into his beautiful yet cryptic eyes.
“Don’t shed a tear for me. I don’t deserve your tears.” He murmurs, tenderly gazing at you as he brushes your sticky strands away from your face. He leans down and presses a soft kiss on your forehead. “No more sadness, angel.”
You feel his cock twitching inside of you before he begins to move, thrusting into you. “Jay, wait.” You gasp as he dips his head and bites down on your neck. His hand searches for yours to intertwine your fingers before positioning it next to your head.
“No more waiting, either.” He grunts against your skin, kissing the spot where he bit you before hovering over you to meet your half-lidded eyes. “Don’t lose yourself to sleep now. We’re going to go all night, baby.”
“I’m not.” Your other hand makes its ascent to cradle his face, and the way you are gazing at him sweetly yet tenderly sends odd flutters to his tainted heart, prompting him to decrease his pace. “I like you, Jay.”
“I know.” He says, but when disappointment flickers in your gaze, he kisses it away with his lips deepening against yours. “I like you too, baby.”
“Oh!” You throw your head to the back as soon as he hits that specific spot deliciously, moaning out. Your arms frantically latch around him, wanting to feel his body in contact with yours. “Jay!”
“Fuck, I know, angel.” He grunts, his face twisted into pleasure as he continues to hit that spot. As you succumb to the delirious pleasure, his eyes rake over your face, and his heart swells with something beyond his capability of feeling any sort of sentiment pertaining to adoration….love.
Aside from your impending orgasm, you can feel something entirely different as he thrusts into you. With the way he is now whispering nothing but sweet words to you while his thrusts remain consistently gentle yet effective enough to draw out your orgasm, it almost feels like he’s making love to you.
“I’m cumming.” You announce in a breathy moan with your arms hooked around his neck, hugging him close to you while your hips rut against his.
“Go on, baby.” His sweet encouragement as he kisses your cheek is all you need for you to coat his cock with your cum again. “That’s a good girl.” He calms you down as your body convulses, his hand rubbing your trembling thigh soothingly. “One more?”
You can’t help but acquiesce, mustering a faint, dimpled smile that has him floored by how good you are to him. With another thrust, he captures your lips in a kiss, murmuring, “Mine. You’re my woman, angel. Never forget that.”
“I’m yours, Jay.” You utter breathlessly while he tightens your intertwined fingers.
Jay hums out his approval, nipping at your bottom lip playfully before returning his gaze to your dazed eyes. “You’ll do anything for me, yeah?”
You nod your head, getting lost in the depths of his eyes. “Yes.”
“Just like how I’d kill for you.” He whispers darkly, and despite the tenderness of his gaze, the darkness reigns. You shiver at the sensation of his fingertips tracing down from your cheek to your neck. “You are mine, Y/N. Mine to protect, mine to touch, mine to kiss, and mine to fuck.”
“Yes.” In your delirium, you nod your head in agreement, blissfully unaware of the dark obsession glinting in his eyes.
“Mine.” It’s like he’s utterly drunk on you, wanting to drill his claim into the depths of your mind. “All mine.”
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The off-shoulder layered ruffle dress that reaches above your thighs fits you perfectly, and you love the flaring touch on the dress. You do a little spin once more in front of the mirror, chuckling softly at how silly you are being, all because the man who quite literally railed you all night specifically bought this dress for you during the period he detached from you.
No, scratch that. Dresses. Your eyes dart at the dresses neatly laid out on your bed. The fact that he somehow knew that these dresses were to your liking is astonishing. Nevertheless, your chest blooms at his kind yet thoughtful gesture.
A familiar tune rings in your ear, prompting you to retrieve your phone from the bed. Upon seeing the caller ID, the corners of your lips curve up, and your countenance beams with radiance. You eagerly answer his call.
“Hey, baby.”
Maybe it’s the honeymoon stage, which is ironic since you two have never declared your relationship status, but you swear, just hearing his husky voice sends you swooning over him. 
“Hey.” You mentally facepalm at yourself for reciprocating lamely in a sheepish way. 
“I’ve just arrived, but you don’t have to rush. I’ll be taking a smoke break."
“Okay.” Your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth while your eyes begin to wander elsewhere. “So can you tell me now about where you’re bringing me?”
His deep chuckles awaken the untamed butterflies in your tummy. “You’ll see later─ What the fuck?” The abrupt shift in his tone alarms you while you hear blaring engines in the background. “Gotta go, baby. See you in a while.”
Despite your confusion, you tuck your phone in your black purse, which matches the colour of your dress. You do one last examination in the mirror, your eyes flickering at the two fresh hickeys on your neck, testaments to Jay’s proprietary claim over you.
The recollection of last night’s event paints your warm cheeks pink before you shake your head and smack your cheeks with your palms. Yet, you can’t disregard how strongly you feel, as though he really did make love to you last night.
“Going somewhere?” You hear Karina’s voice from behind while you are busily wearing one-inch black heels. Her tone sounds neutral, but still, it’s been a while since she even uttered a word to you.
Recalling her words, a scoff elicits from you. You look over your shoulder to see her leaning against the wall with her arms folded over her stomach, her face an indecipherable contortion. “Since when did you care about where I’m going?”
Karina resigns with a soft sigh. “I don’t want to argue with you again, so wherever you’re going, just stay safe.”
“That’s ironic coming from you since you explicitly declared that you no longer could give a damn about me.” You retort more harshly than you intended. You refuse to listen to another word from her as you storm towards the door and swing it open before exiting the threshold.
As the door slams shut loudly, you flinch, and at the same time, something smacks you in the face as you recall your hostility towards your best friend. You swallow down your guilt as you mask indifference before making your way towards the elevator.
Your phone chimes inside your purse as you step into the elevator. Assuming it’s Jay, you decide to send him a response, but you pause with a frown on your lips at the notification.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: You should leave them while you still can.
Naturally, your mind resorts to the probability of your circle of friends being the ones behind this anonymous text. Huffing annoyedly, you decide to reply.
Y/N: Trying to scare me by becoming anonymous? Seriously, Wonyoung? Yunjin, or whoever you are, but I know it’s one of you girls. Just stop. I won’t ever leave them.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I’m not any of your girls, Y/N.
Y/N: Oh, really? I don't believe you.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: You look gorgeous in that black dress. Going on a date?
“What the─?” Fear widens your eyes as you scan your surroundings before spotting a CCTV at the corner. An eerie chill tightens your spine before you hesitantly type on your phone with trembling fingers.
Y/N: Funny. I know it’s you, Karina. You’ve just seen me out earlier.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I can assure you that this is no laughing matter, sweetheart.
“Sweetheart?” You mutter the endearment in disbelief, knowing that only one person calls you that.
Y/N: Stop trying to scare me, Heeseung.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Whatever gave you the reason to suspect that I’m him?
Y/N: That’s because you ARE him.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Maybe I am, or maybe I’m not, but regardless, I do not pose a threat to you.
Y/N: It's a bit ironic given that you have yet to tell me who you really are, not forgetting that you’re probably stalking me through that CCTV as we speak. Still, I’m sure you’re Heeseung.
The elevator dings open, prompting you to exit, but your attention is fixed on this mysterious messenger while your heart feels heavily unsettled about it.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart.
Y/N: What do you want from me?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: For now, I’m just giving you some words of advice. Leave them while you still can.
Y/N: Them? As in Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon? But aren’t they your best friends?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: ……. :)
Y/N: What’s with that creepy smiley face?
You wait for his response, and yet nothing comes. You are so tempted to give Heeseung or whoever he is a call, but as your eyes trail to your line of sight, all worries are thrown in the wind.
Jay is decked out in a black suit that looks impeccable on his contours. You can only imagine how fine he looks under that black helmet of his. He appears to be scrolling through his phone with his hands adorned in black gloves while leaning and nearly seated on his sleek bike.
All the while taming your butterflies, you amble towards him, drawing his attention to you as the sound of your heels reaches his ears and prompting him to look up from his phone. Although the visor obscures his face, you can feel his piercing gaze on you and the charming smirk on his countenance.
“Baby.” His voice sounds deeper due to his helmet. Unmoving from his bike, he extends his hand to you, which you gladly take, and a giggle leaves your lips as he pulls to him, nearly missing a step as you instinctively lean into his chest for support.
Your lips are jutting into a pout as you stare at him. “I can’t see you clearly, Jay.”
“Missed my handsome face that much, angel?” He chuckles before pushing his visor up, finally allowing you to meet his dark eyes. “There. Happy?”
“Very.” A sheepish smile curves at your lips, loving how his arms around your waist provide a sense of security. “You look handsome.”
Although you can’t see his lips, you know that he is smirking from the way he is gazing at you. “And you look absolutely darling, baby.”
You can’t contain your giddiness as giggles emit from you while an adoring smile unfurls on his lips. Just as you are about to speak, your body jolts at the abrupt sound of blaring engines metres away from where you are.
When you turn your head to the side, your eyebrows jump in surprise at the sight of two familiar bikers, fittingly clad in similar leathers with their visors pushed up, allowing you to meet their gazes.
“We’re still here, you know?” Sunghoon says loudly over to the both of you while Jake is busy sending you a wink, colouring your cheeks pinker.
“Are they joining us as well?” You ask Jay, confusion lacing in your tone.
You hear Jay scoffing. “No. Even if they wanted to, I wouldn’t allow them, because tonight is about me and you.” He grabs the extra helmet at the side before assisting you to wear it.
“Does it feel secure?” Jay inquires as soon as you manage to fit your head into the helmet. You decide to push your visor up since it feels a little hot and suffocating.
“I’m fine.” You tell him while your eyes are forming the shapes of crescents. Your heart flutters as he gives you a gentle pat on the head before leaning down on you. Grasping it quick, you lean into him before the mouths of your helmets meet, as though the two of you are kissing each other.
“We get it. She’s yours. Don't need to rub it in our faces.” Jake scoffs loudly, directing his annoyed remark at Jay.
Jay simply ignores the jealous man as he hoists you up to mount his bike, your tight black shorts peeking due to your dress being hiked up. You latch your arms around his waist as soon as he mounts in front of you.
Jay looks at you over his shoulder. “Ready?”
“Yes.” Your heart jumps at the ferocious, blaring engine of his bike before he speeds off. You hear Jake and Sunghoon catching up to Jay from behind before they manage to keep up with the velocity, with Sunghoon on your left and Jake on your right.
Your cheeks flare warmly at the fact that you are being surrounded by the same men who are capable of arousing the same butterflies in your tummy. You lean into Jay’s dependable back comfortably, fluttering your eyes closed with a soft, contented smile on your lips.
▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰
“So what exactly is your endgame?” Jungwon inquires as he pops a bubblegum into his mouth, seated leisurely on the swivel chair with both legs resting on the table.
“Knowing Heeseung, probably something that will end up real ugly.” Sunoo snickers, his eyes remaining focused on the billiards, desiring to win against his best pal, Riki.
Riki casts a glance at the foreboding male who is standing by the window and has been staying silent, as though lost in his thoughts, while there is a faraway gaze in his eyes. “Heeseung.” Riki’s deep voice is enough to pull him out of the rumination. “Are you okay?”
Heeseung merely hums in response, his face remaining impassive as ever. “My endgame, you asked?” Soft chuckles emit from him, but the three prodigies are no strangers to the darkness that belies Heeseung.
“With Y/N.” Jungwon states the obvious. “I’m still surprised that she was exempted from the kill list on Devil’s Night.”
“Same. It’s unlike you to make an exception, Heeseung.” Sunoo points out, scoring another victory before shooting Riki a triumphant yet smug smirk.
Riki simply rolls his eyes at Sunoo before diverting his attention to Heeseung. “Does she have something you want? Is that why she was exempt?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Just as they expect from the most prominent leader, he remains an enigma. They watch in both curiosity and perplexity as Heeseung unfurls a soft smirk on his lips, one of which is adorned with the lip ring. “Even if she was on the kill list, I wouldn’t allow anyone to lay a single hand on her, because Y/N Kang belongs to me.”
“Not right now, she isn’t.” Jungwon snorts a chuckle. “She’s Jay’s. The guy is fucking whipped, because since when did he start posting on his instastory? Let alone a picture of Y/N?”
“I’m so confused.” Riki scratches his head, his face contorting into a confused frown as he stares at Heeseung. “So are you actually sharing her with them?”
Sunoo moves closer to Heeseung and nudges his shoulder with his. “If you are, can I be added?”
“No.” Heeseung’s cold, immediate answer causes Sunoo to pout pettily. “Enough. I won’t entertain any of your questions about Y/N, and don’t even think of preying on her when she’s ours to prey on.”
“Just answer this. Do you have plans on letting her go after achieving whatever ulterior goals you guys have in your sleeves?” Jungwon daringly prods, as expected from the most fearless prodigy out of them.
Heeseung’s callous eyes meet Jungwon’s, and the corner of his lips curves up into a smirk. “I think you know the answer, Jungwon.”
Jungwon mirrors his smirk. “Then I suggest you get another pair of handcuffs. For extra measures, of course.”
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TAGLIST: @aishigrey @kgneptun @b3tt7boop @smg-valeria @lhspeachie @enhaverse713586 @strxwbloody @firstclassjaylee @jwnghyuns @luminouskalopsia @deobitifull @loumin908 @sousydive @pinkkami @skzenhalove @caravm @shinrjj @loljaeyunz @star4rin @darkjongsung @mlywon @yorukoshii @nshmrarki @lol6sposts @lilyuwon @enha-crumbs @slut4hee @capri-cuntz @kaykay11sworld @firesunflames @notevenheretbh1 @parksunghoonsgf @luvkpopp @superbbananananana @eastleighsblog @in-somnias-world @nyxtwixx @theresawtf @fuxktaekook @readbyjjk @yunhoswrldddd
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Buck (and Eddie) mini meta - 7x10 (probably but could also be 7x09!)
I was going to make a quick post about this new shirt we have bts pictures of Buck and Eddie wearing - but well, I spiralled and it turned into this!! (under the cut to save your dash!)
So let's do Eddie first shall we!!
there are actually two shirts we've got bts of Eddie wearing which have me 👀👀👀
first up is this green number we have bts of him wearing at the firehouse (not 100% sure if this is an actual costume or just Ryan's clothes but I'm fairly sure it's an Eddie outfit!)
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Why am I side eyeing so hard at this do you ask? well its a very similar shirt to the one we have seen him in before - in 5x13 when he has his break down. Its not the same, but similar - no cut off sleeves, but its the same army green.
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We see this tee at he culmination of Eddie isolating himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) through the start of 5b and then blowing up his life in 5x13 - when he trashes his room and Chris calls Buck.
I think we're about to see something similar play out in the last couple of episodes of season 7 - Eddie increasingly choosing to isolate himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) as he spirals out with this vertigo arc. Ryan has said in interviews that Eddie will be isolated by the end of the season, this costume therefore parallels Eddies arc of 5b - especially if we include the use of white on Eddie as well (and Buck in Blue in the same scene!). Eddie does something drastic and then pretends everything is ok - before proceeding to spiral out and blow up his life in some way.
5x11 - we have the aftermath of Eddie leaving he 118 - dinner with Buck and Taylor when he and Buck have a mini disagreement about Eddie coming back to work - which is preceeded by us being shown how Eddie is not actually ok - leading in to 5x13 when Eddie has his breakdown whilst wearing an army green tee and Buck breaks down the door to get to him and literally steps in to the mess, bringing the 118 into help as well (represented by Bobby being there when Eddie wakes up).
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Then we have season 7 - the aftermath of Eddie asking Marisol to move in with him and then it is made clear that Eddie has moved too fast, that he doesn't actually know Marisol, or ultimately feel comfortable with the relationship - and now we've watched him (still in white in the scene where he sees Kim) spiralling out and heading towards isolating himself in the same way he did in season 5. The use of a similar army green tee in 7x10 suggests that we're going to see something similar unfold as things come to a head in the vertigo arc. Im especially intrigued because Buck it seems is going to be in uniform for the scene (which side note plays into the Buck and Eddie blue green colour palette they've been using and in a reverse of the gym scene from 7x05!) we don't know where in the episode this scene falls, but my guess would be that its actually a scene from earlier in the episode - allowing for the blow up to happen and the fall out begin. (I also think this because of Helena and Ramon appearing - which I think will be later in the episode and in response to Kim's existence being more widely known about, but thats just me speculating!)
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We do also have the t-shirt from 7x01 - which is not the same as the other two - its darker and more brownish than the two above, but it does play into a similar narrative - Eddie finding out about Chris and his multiple girlfriends and Buck stepping in (at Eddies request this time) to help and support the Diaz boys!
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Eddie outfit two!
Then we have this outfit - which is contrary to popular belief, not the will reveal outfit, but actually the Ana as Eddies girlfriend reveal to Chris outfit.
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The two outfits are very similar, but the will reveal outfit is a navy blue shirt (which is important as it plays into both blue/green and blue/yellow theory - which gains even more significance now we know that it is likely this was meant to be the beginning of at the very least a queer narrative for Buck and the implication is that it would've been the beginning of buddie canon) this shirt and the Ana reveal shirt are both black and have silver eyelets on the shirt opening
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For me, the fact that it is the same outfit as that reveal rather than the will reveal is suggestive that this outfit is in some way going to be connected to the reveal of Kim. In the same way that the Ana reveal outfit is connected to two scenes
- Eddie telling Chris and the salad bowl getting smashed,
- Eddie realising Chris has gone missing only to find out he's run to Buck's
I feel like this one is also likely to be connected to two scenes - what they are and where this hospital scene fits within the wider episode, it is hard to fully form ideas on the full meaning behind the fact that he is wearing the same outfit. Because does this scene come before or after the arrival of Helena and Ramon, what is the connection to Bobby being in the hospital and Eddie wearing this outfit? My personal opiion is that this outfit is going to be involved in people finding out about Kim.
As an addition to this, we should also talk about the fact that Eddie always wears black in relation to key scenes with Marisol and Kim and it continues a trend of Eddie wearing black in key scenes in relation to his relationships.
When Eddie and Marisol meet at the hardware store he is in black, when asking her to move back out, black shirt. Then with Kim -both scenes with her when he talks to her he is in black - black shirt in the store and a black jacket when they go on their date.
He was also wearing Black in key moments with Shannon (divorce request scene as well as in flashbacks) and with Ana ( first meeting and panic attack scenes). I've spoken before about the choice to put him in a black singlet when he's in an emotionally vulnerable place, but with these additional scenes in mind, as well as the fact that we see him wearing black in the hospital during Bucks coma, as well as the fact we also get a similar shirt on Eddie back in 7x01.
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I think its fair to associate black more generally with Eddie being in a vulnerable place emotionally - the singlets are just worn at points when those vulnerable moments are about to tip Eddie into something stupid and this makes the use of the singlet in 7x04 for the basketball game even more interesting as it places Eddie into emotional vulnerability around Bucks bi journey and less about Bucks own emotional vulnerability - plays a little into the idea that they were going to have Eddies queer journey come before Bucks!
From a purely speculative position - my feeling is that this outfit comes after the arrival of Helena and Ramon and possibly towards the end of the episode.
The fact Eddie is wearing it at the hospital is possibly important, but I get the feeling it will be an outfit with more than one key scene attached to it (much like Eddie being in a black shirt when Buck came out to him was in two key scenes - Bucks coming out and Eddie asking Marisol to move out).
In the same way that in season 4 the Ana reveal was paired with a scene where Chris runs to Buck my feeling is that we're going to see something similar in season 7 with this - further adding to the parallels between the two seasons (see this excellent post by @iinryer for more on those!).
Part of my thinking comes from the fact we had this other bts of Buck, Eddie, Chris and Helena and Ramon. So we know that Eddie will be wearing a maroon henley for a scene in this episode.
I've spoken about Eddie wearing maroon long sleeved tops in relation to things being about Chris and Eddie parenting, and this one is likely to follow that theme, especially with Chis seemingly wearing the same outfit he was wearing when the fact he had multiple girlfriends was revealed.
The fact that buck is in a reverse outfit to the one from his discussion with Chris after that reveal (navy blue bottoms and yellow ochre top v yellow ochre bottoms and navy blue top), suggests to me that the are trying to do a couple of things here - they are flipping the scene - so it is still about a multiple girlfriends reveal, just Eddies rather than Christophers. It is also possibly a way to contrast the fact they set up Buck as sitting in parallel to Shannon (from both a costuming and directorial perspective), now they are reversing it and setting them in juxtaposition with one another - playing on the concept of one being alive while the other is dead and contrasting the actual reality of Eddies life with Eddies rose tinted version of things - the version he's trying to recreate with a doppelgänger.
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Onto Buck
The shirt that changes colour depending on which picture you look at - is it brown and cream or dark greyish brown and blue/grey?!!
My personal feeling is that it will look more brown and cream on camera, but that we might see a little bit of the blue pinstripe come through! This means we need to not only look at Buck in pinstripes, but also when he has worn brown!
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So lets look at when we've seen Buck wear brown!
We have 2x05 - a scene where Maddie is ranting about Gloria calling her constantly. In this scene Buck is in a brown marl tee (you'll have to take my word for it - I ran out of pictures and this one was the least important!), personally I don't think it fits into the narrative as it is a tee rather than a shirt or jacket, so I'm not including it in my wider anaylsis!
We get Brown sports jacket Buck - in 3x04 when he delivers the results of the 118's assessment and discovers Lena filing his space - Buck gets jealous and a little mad. (had to include the still where Edie is checking out Bucks ass because it will never not be funny and now has the added layers to it`!)
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one episode later and we get more brown in the divorced buddie era 1.0 supermarket arguement of 3x05.
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Things go quiet on the brown front for Buck until 4x14 and the 'it would've been better if it had been me who got shot' scene - this is is a borderline brown - it sits in the yellow ochre spectrum, but is closer to brown than yellow! This, like the last tine he wore brown, comes in the aftermath of Buck doing something stupid (climbing the crane)
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Then Buck doesn't wear any brown in season 5, so its on to season 6 where we have 6x04 and this russet brown (which is a reddish brown) which Buck wears when Connor pays him a visit regarding the sperm donation.
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Then later in the same season - 6x18 - we have the most recent Buck in brown sighting - when he is talking to Connor once more about Kameron being at his loft. with the added bonus of this being veritcally ribbed making it look like stripes!
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As you can see we only see Buck wear brown in very specific moments and they tend to come in pairs - we get bright russety browns in the build up to Buck doing something stupid followed by a darker more muddy brown in the aftermath (in both s2 and s6). Only the one from season 4 doesn't fit the pattern as it doesn't have a pair.
But while events in seasons 3 and six are essentially of Bucks making - he sets things in motion - season 4 is not - Buck is not the instigator, he is a bystander dropped into the middle of something, if anything the fact his brown has yellowish undertones plays into its having a reverse effect - that it is the same as the russet browns - setting something in motion, but its pair is the brighter yellow ochre shirt from the will reveal - which sits in opposition to the darker browns - its not something Buck needs or wants to try and fix - its more of an affirmation of Bucks belonging and not something he needs to fight for.
I've spoken before in various meta's about brown being a colour of stability support and protection. it is also a colour of wisdom and counsel - and I think all of these will come into play with this new shirt in some capacity, because to put Buck in brown at this point is definitely a choice with intention behind it.
Now onto Buck in vertical stripes!
We'll do the light ones first. It's still insane to me that the first time we ever see Buck in vertical stripes is the shooting scene in 4x13.
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Then ten episodes later, in 5x13 we see the next white striped shirt and its when Taylor is moving into the loft. These are the only two we have in a white and black/grey colour way.
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The next time we see light stripes is in 6x01 - only now they are cream and blue rather than white and black/grey - when Buck moves his armchair and decides he doesn't need a couch .
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Followed by 6x08 when Buck is in Uncle Buck mode and looking after Jee and being given the run around by her - again cream and blue.
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The last Buck in light shirts with stripes sighting is from 7x05 - when he meets with Tommy for coffee, this time its cream with black and red stripes.
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Then we have a couple of outliers - this light blue jacket from 6x01
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and this grey one from 6x09
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Then we have the dark ones!
This one from 4x14 when Taylor appears back on his doorstep after the shooting and kissing him
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This one from 5x09 - the most awkward 'I love you' scene in the history of mankind
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6x04 when he tells Conor and Kameron that he will be their sperm donor
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in 6x07 we get two - both when he is trying to donate sperm and not being successful in this endeavour
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in 6x17 we see him in this shirt when Maddie comes by for help with getting her stuck engagement ring off
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and finally we have Buck and Tommys first date - which ends in failure.
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and now we have a brown and cream/blue one joining the mix!
I've written before about Bucks vertically striped shirts - in various episode metas, as well as a separate post which is linked on my pinned post under Buck, But I'm going to talk about them again because he just keeps on wearing them at really interesting moments!
Buck seems to wear them at moments when he is essentially ‘imprisoned’ by something mentally - at moments when he either steps forwards or backwards in his self development, or stays in stasis - and which of these it is, is determined by the colour of the shirt and the stripes. The lighter ones are connected to moving forward and ultimately escaping, while the darker ones are about Buck being trapped and moving in the wrong direction.
Starting with the white shirts - I know on the face of it, it isn't easy to see either of the white shirts with black pinstripes as Buck moving forward, but while the scenes they are worn in themselves may not seem to be freeing, the resulting actions - the will reveal for the first one and the second one reveals Bucks true thoughts on his and Taylors relationship and thus marks the beginning of the end, I mean obviously the kiss is the actual moment that marks the beginning of the end but this moment - when he is talking to Maddie, the audience is made aware that Buck really and truly isn't all in with Taylor and that he has imprisoned himself - his ability to recognise that - the fact he is able to verbalise that he is afraid of being left - that is the moment of growth and escape for him.
The unhappy moments, the moments when he is regressing or clinging are signified by the black shirts with white or silver pinstripes.
With Taylor the two scenes we get black shirts with pinstripes are connected to Buck being in trauma response mode - the first in the aftermath of the shooting - starting a relationship when he's in a super raw place - his best friend has been shot and he's looking after said best friends son and climbing cranes to try and protect the rest of his found family (also adding Maddie's impending PPD to this as well as the Daniel of it all although those are less central in this moment in time).
Then the second one comes in the 'I kinda love you for it' scene - and off the back of Buck feeling and fearing that he is being left - that Taylor is pulling away from him.
The three all connected to the sperm donation all play into the narrative that Buck hasn't thought the sperm donation through fully - that the universe is screaming at him and he's trapping himself in a prison - we do see some of that play out as the season progresses when he becomes embroiled in Conor and Kameron's marriage and pregnancy dramas when his part in it all should've been done.
The scene with the stuck ring is a scene very much about Maddie but Buck does drop himself in it on two fronts - the ring cutter and in letting Maddie know that Hen and Chim had an arguement over Chim proposing to Maddie.
Buck and Tommys first date - again a prison of Bucks own making - this shirt very much plays into the disastrous nature of the date - with Bucks 'I'm and Ally' and comment about going to 'find chicks'
Then we have the shirts that somewhere in the middle. - the blue one from 6x01 where we have a Buck doing some mental self torture trying to work out why he’s been passed over for the interim Captain job but finally figuring it out,
The three cream ones are all essentially the cure for the previous, darker stripes - they play into the idea that Buck is learning and growing - in a way he wasn't when it was just black and white shirts and stripes from seasons 4 and 5 when we got a white shirt followed soon after by a black shirt (4x13 - White - 4x14 - black) or vice versa (5x09 - black - 5x13 - white).
We have 6x01 with the blue then cream - Buck in a mental prison around what he wants in life, but choosing to embrace being on his own and seeing where life takes him by the end of the episode. 6x04 and 6x07's navy blues connected to the sperm donation arc followed by 6x08's cream and blue one of the very real children in his life - one who he gets to be an active part of watching grow up. 7x04's navy date shirt one followed by 7x05's cream, black and red shirt when Buck requests and is granted a do over with Tommy
So how is this brown and cream one going to fit in? Well that is the million $$$$ question isn't it! My feelings are that it's going to fit in with the pattern and have a reverse one to go with it. Now I have two theories - the first is that its actually the brown pair to the one from season 4 - that its going to connect into Buck's statement that it would've been better for Chris if he'd been the one hurt - and therefore connect into the will of it all, playing on the concept of Chris (and Buck) finding out about Kim - connecting Eddies outfit into the equation - and lead to Buck once again stepping up to look after or support Chris in some capacity (maybe we'll get a parallel of Chris running to Buck after finding out about Ana and have Chris running to Buck after finding out about Kim, who knows!).
The other option is that we'll only see the pair to this brown striped shirt later down the line - whether we see that before the end of the season or have to wait for the start of season 8 I do't know - it really depends on how they close out this season and the Buck and Eddie arcs.
I'd like to think the fact that its brown and therefore means stability, support, protection and wisdom, means that it will be connected to Buck discovering Eddies cheating and then stepping up to support him and Chris through the fall out (after perhaps taking a moment to consider things) and that it is tied into the season 4 parallels, but I guess we'll all have to wait and see!
Essentially all of Bucks striped and or brown tops have a pair and play on the idea of light and dark to varying degrees as well as the concept of being trapped or imprisoned by some form of traumatic event.
Hopefully this makes sense and that you've enjoyed reading this deep dive into Bucks stripes and Eddies wearing of black! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!
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tagidearte-spam-sb · 21 hours
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(Transcription: "JOB SECURITY - Where is everyone? Leo was the only one who had a copy of the maze control key, but I haven't seen him for months. Maybe that creepy bot knows where the key is. Leo was supposed to train it to work the maze, instead he tricked the bot into doing busy work under the daycare theater. I'll check after the all staff meeting tonight.")
So. Was anyone gonna tell me Moon (maybe Sun?) was supposed to work the maze in Mazercise, or was I supposed to accidentally find out nearly 4 years after playing the game?
And then he busies himself with the mess under the theater?
And then his area, the Endo area (let's be real there's a lot of cut Moon scenes in there, possibly a """boss fight"""), is also a child themed maze of sorts?
And in Ruin he turned the daycare into a play structure maze too?
Am I the only one that was unaware this note even existed? I do believe this is about Moon and not Sun (Sun could be classified as creepy by staff, but I think his... charming personality with adults would gather him another title. Creepy Bot seems to fit better with Moon. But it could be both to be honest.) I am... flabbergasted.
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wilcze-kudly · 2 days
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The tragedy of Avatar's "Funny Guys"
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So... Sokka and Bolin are both "the funny guy" of their respective group, we can all agree on this. Now comic relief characters aren't rare in media and often they exist purely to be said comic relief, with little nuance or storyline of their own.
But Avatar strays from this rule by giving their comedic relief characters a lot of depth.
Both Sokka and Bolin have been through some awful stuff. They've dealt with loss and plenty of adversity.
Sokka lost his mother as a child. After that, his father left for a war, basically leaving Sokka to care for his sister and village. And, to his credit, Sokka took his duties very seriously. You can see how protective he is of Katara and the members of his tribe, trying to defend them even when he's clearly outnumbered and outmatched. This also bled through into his role within the Gaang, where he acts as provider, strategist and organiser.
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As for Bolin, he was orphaned as a small child, forced to live at least 10 years homeless. His horrific childhood trauma leads to him lacking a lot in social skills and confidence. And throughout the show he is manipulated, used and, quite frankly, abused multiple times.
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But we already knew that, right?
We've seen them in their respective shows and we've heard their backstories explained to us. They share most of their backgrounds with their siblings, so it's not a leap in logic to say that they most likely have similar trauma.
So, why is that their "angst" isn't taken as seriously as, say, Katara's and Mako's?
I'd the main reason really is the fact that they are meant to lighten the mood.
This is unlike Katara and Mako, whose roles allow them to express their grief and pain more freely, the creators going so far as to incorporate symbols of their trauma into their designs.
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Katara and Mako's actions are often more easily related to their trauma. Because their characters are more obviously tied to their trauma.
We, for example can understand Katara stealing a waterbending scroll and relate it to her need to connect with her almost completely destroyed culture. We can see Mako have difficulties connecting with people and recognise that this is most likely due to his troubled past.
Sokka and Bolin are more... tricky. We don't always think about the in world reasoning of their characters. Often, we just assume that they're doing something to be funny.
We see Sokka insisting to be the leader as: haha, funny bossy guy. Instead of: damn, this kid has been conditioned to take so much responsibility for the safety and well-being of others.
We see Bolin bending over backwards to please Eska as: oh, that Bolin, such a silly guy. Instead of: oh, shit this teenager spent his entire life as a dependent to his brother so his decisionmaking skills and backbone are probably extremely stunted.
This isn't helped by the fact that these character's pain, distress, grief and sadness are often played for laughs. And yeah, often the scene is funny. But that doesn't negate the character's in-world suffering.
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I think this is what occasionally can be quite upsetting to me when people don't take this character seriously because they're "only meant to be there for the comedy". Maybe with a more straightforward show, I'd take that answer, but Avatar leaves us these pretty obvious breadcrumbs.
Avatar is a pretty well crafted show, in the end and most of the main cast have their nuances and storylines that raise them above the tropes they're meant to represent.
PS: This is not to say that Sokka and Katara have the same trauma, nor that Mako and Bolin have the same trauma. Both pairs of siblings took up different roles in their respective dynamics.
For example, Sokka visibly takes up the role as defender, provider and planner, wheras Katara deals with the more domestic tasks (yay sexism). This shows in how their trauma manifests in dufferent ways. Sokka's need to prove himself vs Katara's frustration at her percieved "role" in society.
Mako and Bolin's past is more nebulous, but I would argue Bolin still played an important role in his and Mako's lives. Bolin is cheerful and bubbly, almost by design. It wouldn't be a leap in logic to assume that a bit of that cheer may be fabricated in order to keep going. Bolin's lack of personal growth due to being Mako's dependent is also a symptom of his trauma.
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It also bears to mention that these character's competence is also often downplayed due to the humorous ways in which they fail. Sokka planned an invasion on an entire nation that would've succeeded had it not been for Azula gaining insider information. He invented submarines. While Bolin is one of the most efficient and powerful earthbenders combatwise (I'm tired of pretending he's a mid bender the only thing stopping my man from commiting mass murder is his heart of gold). They are not just haha funny idiots. Put some respect on their names.
Ok I'm done stating the obvious now.
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dollsahoy · 15 hours
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Harrison Ford was Spielberg's original choice to play Eddie Valiant, but his price was too high. Chevy Chase was the second choice, but he was not interested. Bill Murray was also considered for the role, but due to his idiosyncratic method of receiving offers for roles, Murray missed out on it. Eddie Murphy reportedly turned down the role as he misunderstood the concept of toons and humans co-existing; he later regretted this decision. Robin Williams, Robert Redford, Jack Nicholson, Sylvester Stallone, Edward James Olmos, Wallace Shawn, Ed Harris, Charles Grodin and Don Lane were also considered for the role. Ultimately, Bob Hoskins was chosen by Spielberg because of his acting skill and because Spielberg believed he had a hopeful demeanor and he looked like he belonged in that era. To facilitate Hoskins' performance, Charles Fleischer dressed in a Roger Rabbit costume and "stood in" behind camera for most scenes. Williams explained Roger was a combination of "Tex Avery's cashew nut-shaped head, the swatch of red hair... like Droopy's, Goofy's overalls, Porky Pig's bow tie, Mickey Mouse's gloves, and Bugs Bunny-like cheeks and ears." Kathleen Turner provided the uncredited voice of Jessica Rabbit, Roger Rabbit's wife. Tim Curry auditioned for the role of Judge Doom, but was rejected because the producers found him too terrifying. Christopher Lee was also considered for the role, but turned it down. John Cleese also expressed interest for the role, but was deemed not scary enough. Peter O'Toole, F. Murray Abraham, Roddy McDowall, Eddie Deezen and Sting were also considered for the role. Christopher Lloyd was cast because he previously worked with Zemeckis and Spielberg on Back to the Future. He compared his part as Doom to his previous role as the Klingon commander Kruge in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, both overly evil characters which he considered "fun to play". He avoided blinking his eyes while on camera to portray the character.
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im not the other anon but ig when compared to other characters kevin can come off as a coward. and i do think "Kevin is a coward" and "it's completely normal for kevin to be afraid of riko" can exist at the same time.
but when pitted against neil for example. i can see see how kevin might seem that way. neil does run away from his father, but ultimately, he only really does that while under the control of his mother. Neil explicitly doesn't want to keep running. and stops very soon after his mom is dead and she can no longer force him to. and the decision does frighten him, I mean he has panic attacks about it, but he keeps doing it despite that. he plans to stay even before Andrew offers him protection, so he doesn't need that crutch like kevin does.
neil also isn't afraid of riko, even when he should be or when he's literally torturing him. he's not afraid of tetsuji either. or even really ichirou. even scenes with his father and lola, I mean he says lola looks like a whore to her face when she's about to torture him 💀 he says "fuck you" to his father when he threatens to cut the tendons in his legs. and he does try and fight Nathan and the others like he punches lola in the throat 😭 I'm just kinda listing of neils actions, but hopefully it makes sense? like I'm not saying neil is always unaffected or unafraid cause its not true, but he has more bravery than I think most ppl do cuz i know I wouldn't be cursing out these ppl if I was face to face with them.
and when we see compare Kevin's behavior to that a lot of it can come off as cowardice.
I think the real problem is seeing coward as a bad thing to be. which maybe sometimes it is. but it seems odd for the fandom to say "oh it's okay to be afraid" and then act like it's an insult to call Kevin a coward. its not bad if he is one. it's just a personality trait, it doesn't make him a bad person. I don't think anyone who calls Kevin a coward is attempting to make some moral judgement of his character, they're just noting a personality trait they observed in him.
Ok the problem is that a lot of people who call Kevin a cowerd ARE making moral judgements of his character; Kevin is rightfully afraid of riko and a literal Yakuza; he grows up in the nest where Neil spent two weeks and as further more traumatized; a lot of people don't take that into Consideration . Kevin not spouting up insults like Neil is not cowardance. he can keep his temper in check; neil is being hypocritical too cause like as u said his mom abused him yet he loves her ; and Kevin grew up with riko and still sees him as a brother figure; that's normal not to mention Neil is afraid of his father and think Kevin is coward. for Kevin his fear is riko. I think it all depends on what you think bravery is; Neil can't keep his temper in check and all his roasts and "bravery" has had awful consequences a lot of times. if Kevin was really coward he wouldn't tell Neil to run away while in the middle of season once he found out his identity knowing game would be at risk; he still offered to talk to Neil about riko when he's rightfully terrified and had a panic attack after seeing him. He never gave up on exy learned to play with his other hand and in the end he manages to stand up to riko; and beats him. It just pisses me off when Kevin's characters good traits are all ignored in favor of him being labeled as a spinless coward ; when that's not the case. Bravery is not only shit talking or knife swinging to me. And I hate the world coward generally; he's traumatized just as much as the other foxes and other than his rightful fear of riko and actual Yakuza he's not a coward and in the end he does stand up to him/them so he's not even a coward anymore. It shouldn't be such a large part of Kevin's description in the end at least ; by that logic jean is also a coward? And I've never seen someone call him that badly over the years.🤷
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chaifootsteps · 2 days
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idk if it was ever mentioned before but youtuber Shaun did a vid on Harry Potter where he pointed out the show only ever framed things as Good and Bad People and that was how viewers were supposed to read their actions
Harry is Good so it's fine for him to fat-shame Dudley, Draco is Bad so it's bullying and mean if he does the same to Molly Weasley in front of Ron, etc
given how HB has structured most of its scenes I think it has the same attitude towards violence and abuse; most of the scenes in question don't read like slapstick at all
Stolas is Good, so it's nbd if he chokes his butler and (possibly) thows Blitzo out of his house for calling him out
Stella is Bad so her throwing an imp across the room is a huge red flag
Good Loona hitting Blitzo & Moxxie = slapstick
Bad Stella or Crimson slapping Stolas or Moxxie = bad, abusive
As long as they put dramatic music under the violence or have someone cry then the audience should view it as fundamentally different than anything the Good characters do. And even their privileges exist only according to the show's hierarchy wherein Stolas is at the top and anything Blitzo does in justifiable anger or self-preservation is now bad, solely because the show has framed it as such
And for all of that, for all of its flaws, Harry Potter still had a level of nuance that Viv will never achieve, or care to achieve.
Dudley and Harry are both victims of the Dursleys in their different ways and end up on good terms. James bullying Snape is played as abhorrent and absolutely disgusts Harry. Harry realizes that his crotchy gross house elf has been every bit as hideously abused as Dobby and that he should show him some kindness, and does.
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miimo96 · 2 days
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Thoughts on TBHK Chapter 114
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Looks like we're finally Diving into the Relationship between these 2 , Ngl seeing a relationship between the 2 most "Fake" Characters in the series is Really gonna be interesting, especially with the New timeline and stuff, I wonder if people's theories on the whole comparison to Sumire's life and the minamoto clan will be correct.
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GOD I Hate on How SMUG this character Is, how you just gonna start off the chapter like that Knowing on How Akane will React!? Also between this and How Akane is treated most of the Series, the Man is a walking L
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This tells us so much about the 2 and how they see each other, he initially Didn't even think twice about aoi, immediately getting down to business and figuring What changed In the timeline, only using the "aoi as his Finance" excuse to get under Akane's skin, he sees her as Nothing more than something to play with Akane's emotions with, however aoi is doing what she Does best, Putting on an act and playing along, He knows that Aoi would initially not even take his hand, and brush him off slightly, as she does not see him that way, however aoi is playing along and Does grab his hand, which uneases him, because what if She does see him that way Now?
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Going from what I said earlier it's pretty clear that aoi's Just playing the part and is not really into Teru, and teru Knows this by confirming saying "he'll send it to Akane" to which Aoi shakes her head, it's lovely indication to show that even in this New timeline, she Still very Deeply cares about Akane, and doesn't want him to see her with Another man
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Teru and Aoi are like the couples you'd see in movies, the type of "Perfect" Couple you'd expect (The most popular boy Dates the most popular girl) it's the perfect type of Relationship for these 2 characters, a fake romance fit for Fake people
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Ya know I don't think Teru's ever been "hit" before, aside from the beatdown hakubo gave Him and Akane, teru's the type of character that's Never been "humbled" like he's never received a Proper smack to Reality; Yashiro won't do it because She has a soft spot for him, plus He's Handsome, Kou has too much respect for his older brother and aspires to be like him, Akane is completely terrified of teru and would probably Die if he tried, So Aoi being the 1 to do it is pretty fitting like saying "I don't care if you're my upper clansmen, part of the minamoto clan, or completely handsome, You ever try some shit like that again and I WILL END YOU"
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Upon Re-reading the chapter I love the reaction here, he's Relieved of the fact that She DOES NOT have a crush for him, meaning that she still does care about Akane in someway and He's happy to hear that, aside from all the teasing and bullying he does He Still does care about Akane and his feelings and does NOT want to hurt him.^^
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Looks like people's theories on the 2 being in Relationship as a result of the Sumire incident/ sacrificial bloodline was Correct, also the fact the Seven wonders don't exist is really interesting, I wonder if it has anything to do with Tsukasa being the only apparition for Now, which is weird because aside from No.5, Yako should be a wonder regardless the timeline
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I can't tell if this Akane or teru, probably Akane but it's Nice that she still has feelings for him, also Aoi having 2 sisters is a Surprise to me, so far i don't think we've ever seen or known about them till this point, also her mom seems to be more important than we think, hmmmm 🤔
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Ngl this hurt me a bit, that line "So that's the type of world we're in" really sums up the Pain in this timeline, and you gotta wonder if he really wants to do this anymore, It really hurts me and that's saying something considering I'm a Huge Teru hater and because Now I'm curious of how Kou will react act due the SCENE in The Red house arc
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This are 2nd look at Kou's mom ever since the red house arc, aside from the Tear jerking moment we've Never the 2s relationship and how they must've acted before her passing so it's really Heartbreaking to see it here finally and I kinda wonder if kou will eventually find out the Truth and Be against putting things back to Normal, this arc may be a lot like the picture perfect arc just Cranked to 11, also can someone tell me what this Says in the background, I cant read Japanese and my translator isn't working
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I Love the Dynamic between these 2, at 1st I was a little worried that the call Kou got about a missing student was about Mitsuba, thinking that mitsuba probably dying or something happening to him was a Canon event and that this is all ment to happen eventually, Thank GOD it isn't, Also I love the face mitsuba gives him here, just a little "I Love f@#king with my Boyfriend" face, Also I Guess this confirms that Hanako is still alive in this timeline, meaning the Man we saw in the last Chapter Definitely was Hanako, I wonder if we'll see him run into yashiro soon^^
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t-tomuras · 9 hours
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🗡 ─── • 𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐝
Pairing: Carpaccio Luo-Yang x F!reader
Warnings: Sadomasochism, knife play, blood play (?), choking / breath play, slight nipple play, biting, injuries, creampie.
Wordcount: 3k
Notes: It's softer than it sounds... ? Heed the warnings, dont like dont read. Thank you to @shinsocest for betaing < 3
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"Feels good ‘cio,” you coo as you writhe on the plush mattress top, body alight with a multitude of sensations. Delightful to you but all painful in their own right before feeling more, a searing pain that leaves you arching despite remaining untouched as Carpaccio kneels over your body, straddling your knees. Nearly bare with his chest on display and erection straining in his boxers, dark spot staining the fabric with pre as he watches you with rapt attention. 
“You look so pretty like this,” comes his calm voice, sending a chill down your body as warm blood trickles down your skin and threatens to stain his pristine sheets should they fall further. A new, thin slash appears on your upper arm to add to the growing collection as your boyfriend drags sharp steel across the same space on his arm only to remain unmarred, “tell me how it feels.” 
He doesn’t wait for your answer, just gives another drag of the blade, across his collarbone this time; featherlight in this movement. The wound is shallow, just enough to draw blood like the rest of them, but you hiss so sweetly nonetheless, “it stings, just a bit.” 
“Good girl. Good, but stings how? Like a burn? A paper cut? A bite?” He always asks with each new sensation after testing different pressures in different areas of his body. Wine-colored hues flitting to where his next mark will appear to watch it wink into existence. Carpaccio wants to learn them all, he’s elated that you’re willing to be his pretty little test subject, a lovely doll. 
The moment suspends with silence before he raises the blade, poised for another drink of blood by proxy. His arm hangs in the air unmoving above you, the scene painting you like a sacrifice to whatever god he worships but tonight you know he’ll only worship you. 
You gaze at him unwaveringly before his knife comes down, suddenly and swiftly but the sharp point stops short. Merely touching at your skin, teasingly almost, you can feel the coolness of the metal but he doesn’t apply enough pressure to even break skin. 
Sharing a smile after a beat, exhaling the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. You aren’t afraid, however, you haven’t been throughout the entirety of your relationship with the freshly-appointed Visionary. 
He’d become surprisingly gentle with the weapon long before he’d met you, sometime after his first bout of real pain when he was still at Easton, even more so after meeting you. 
The cold point only makes you gasp, sigh as you get used to the temperature as Carpaccio traces it down your throat. Humming idly as his eyes rove over your body like he’s mapping out his path in real time. Grazing along where the ends of your ribcage meet before reaching the center of your bra quickly. 
Innocently dragging the weapon along the fabric that connects your cups, flattening the blade against your skin as you hold your breath to slip beneath the taut material. Tongue darting out to wet his lips as your boyfriend turns the blade so the point digs precariously into your sternum but no real harm will come to you. 
Inhaling with a sharp sound before giggling delightfully at the sound of tearing threads and snapping wires as your breasts are laid bare before him. The fabric falls away as you adjust your arms and lift slightly to toss the ruined garment away, nipples pebbling as the cool of the room touches them when you lay back down. Carpaccio’s eyes watching all of your movements intently, though it’s hardly indicative of what goes on in that twisted little mind you’ve come to adore. 
“I asked you a question pretty girl,” his tone is sharp, just like you like. An air of testiness as Carpaccio leans downward, letting his knife rest to the side of your head while he takes to palming your bare breast. Deft digits and broad palm kneading gently at delicate flesh as his thumb rolls over the pert bud while his tongue flicks teasingly at the other to elicit a low moan. 
“A slight burn,” you respond after pretending to mull the question over when you were really enjoying the attention you’re lavished with. Stifling a whine when he releases your nipple with a soft pop before leaning up to capture his lips with yours. Exhaling a thankful breath that he doesn’t opt to tease you by dodging your kiss in favor of toying with you more. 
You think he’s reached his own limit for the night, ascertaining so when you now feel the straining erection against your lower abdomen before your boyfriend adjusts to pin you to the mattress with a heavy breath. 
You love the sound, adore the weight of him over you as Carpaccio adjusts to a better position while lavishing you in attention. Tongue tracing along the already clotting wounds for the delightful metallic tang to invade his senses, for the heady taste to mingle with the sweet smell of your body wash. 
An intoxicating mixture only worsened by how you maneuver beneath him with ease so your thighs frame his hips and you can feel the outline of him against your still clothed cunt. Splaying your arms out against your pillow while he busies himself with exploring your body once more like it was the first time with you all over again. 
Groping gently along the natural curve of your waist and ghosting over your ribs to cup the underside of your shoulder blades. Basking in the scent of you, kisses and broad laps of his tongue between the valley of your breasts before he’s venturing upward. Sliding one hand to cup the underside of your right arm, lifting it after kneading his thumb into the soft space to take the flat of his wet muscle and drag along the expanse of it, groaning over some still running blood he catches along the way. Coating his taste buds with the precious liquid that keeps your heart beating, selfishly he believes it’s for him but he’s certain you wouldn’t disagree. 
Not when you give him this much, keep him so privy to your delicate body and life while you both sate your darker desires. 
“Enjoying yourself, sweetheart?” Giggled as your free hand cards through tousled burgundy locks, blunt nails scraping lovingly at his scalp as he makes a sound of affirmation. When didn’t he enjoy himself with you? A delight that doesn’t feel so sick when it comes to instances like these despite the moderate pain he still inflicts. 
Carpaccio is ravenous in his handling of you, no doubt enjoying the frustration he breeds in you by pushing down on your hips with your every attempt to grind up into him. To give yourself some much needed friction to your neglected bundle of nerves he manages to avoid even as he’s pressed into you. 
You were certain he’d been ready to plunge into you, impale you in a sweeter, more personal way. And yet, still, he takes his time with you. 
You shouldn’t be surprised, though; he always does, like with everything else in his life. Inside and outside of battles, your boyfriend loves to drag things out. Doing anything and everything torturously slow even when all he displays is a spiteful apathy but your patience has long since been worn thin.
He gives you an inch when you huff slightly in frustration, removing his hand from your hip in favor of squeezing at the fat of your ass when his lips seals over yours again. 
But your satisfaction is short lived when you’re allowed to move because it isn’t enough, far from in fact. Your still covered cunt grinding against his own concealed cock frustrates you further, more than what you enjoy in moments like these. It’s been long enough, you’re more than craving for him and for that closeness unrivaled. 
Whining because you know he likes the sound but it’s a wordless plea and insistent sign to give you some space to undress him further. Nimble fingers hooking into the waistband of Carpaccio’s boxers the moment he relents to you (like he always will, and only to you) to shimmy them down first while he kisses along your shoulders and collarbones. Teeth scraping gently along the slope of your trapezius before sinking in with a pressure almost deep enough to break skin but not quite the moment the article of clothing slipped below the curve of his ass. 
Just enough for you to mewl and clench your thighs around him, to tug a little more firmly at the wild spikes of his hair and earn a throaty growl from him. Your ankles hook at the small of his back, heels digging into the space to urge him into rolling his hips into you more but he tuts. 
“Need you, no more teasing,” you whine even as you tilt your head to allow him more access to your throat. Soft kisses and well placed nips sending shivers in waves down your spine as your hips roll up to meet his, grinding softly as his cockhead nudges into your clit every so often after he’s kicked away his boxers. 
Fabric of your panties darkening from the dampness your slick creates before you’re heaving breathy gasps, legs shaking as the frame his narrow hips. You push gently at his shoulders, a slight noise of complaint that Carpaccio only chuckles at; using the hand that props him up above you to hold your jaw to keep you in place. Sealing his lips over yours so you’ll melt into him while he feels about the mattress top for his knife. 
Finding the cool handle of it with ease, slowly wrapping it in his firm grip before moving with a swiftness. He cuts away the last article of fabric that separates your bodies so suddenly you jolt, lids shooting open to see his muted delight. Handsome, ever impassive but his eyes shine the slightest bit more, gaze not even lidding as he leans down to capture your lips again. 
Pupils staring into your own as his tongue breaches the seam and indulges in the taste of you further. Swallowing soft moans you reward him with as his cock slots perfectly between your folds. 
Your boyfriend moves quicker now, elbow propping himself up while he grasps his aching length after coating himself in your wetness with just a few rolls of his hips. Enough to make pushing into you easier but not enough to not sink in without a bit of resistance. 
He knows you like to feel your own bit of pain, loves that it’s still inflicted by him. Sweet coo melting into a drown out hiss as gentle prodding turns into a burning stretch. 
“Like that?” Comes his gravely question, rhetorical as it is while you fist the pillow beneath your head and the sheets. Moaning breathily as you unclench your teeth. 
The perfect amount of foreplay to prime you but also to still need a bit of force as his hand holds fast to your hip. Pushing down on your body to meet how he ruts into you, pelvis grinding into your clit when he’s fully sheathed inside of you. 
You arch and moan and babble his name before he even moves, overjoyed by the throb of being filled so suddenly as well as the fullness itself. Eyes rolling the moment Carpaccio cups your throat with one hand, thumb and index fingers applying steady pressure as he forces you to focus on the lazy pull of his lips as he speaks, “how did that feel?” 
“Perfect,” purred as your fingers wrap around his wrist, nails biting into his skin and the crescents slowly appear on your own the longer you hold him. Head swimming as you’re slowly, safely, starved of oxygen before he’s dipping down to you again. 
Letting up on the pressure as you breathe Carpaccio in completely, letting him overwhelm you in every way as his hips begin to roll into yours at a steady space. Downward into you, cockhead nudging perfectly into that patch that makes you whimper and claw at him with each stroke. 
You’re lightheaded before long, coil in your abdomen winding tightly too quickly this time around as you’re hurdled towards your climax. Fluttering lids and hold on him weaker than the initial elated grasp for purchase is telling of your orgasm so he releases you with a coo just as you inhale sharply as you reach the peak, “too tight this time?” 
Chuckling as you emphatically shake your head at him but Carpaccio has already made up his mind. Propping himself up on his arms as he continues the steady rhythm you like just so he can look at you already blissed out beneath him. Riding the waves of your first orgasm with sweet babbles of his name, turning your head to the side as your feet plant on the mattress in a meager attempt to meet his thrusts.
You’re so easy, always so eager and pliable for him, you’re perfect. Something to marvel at as he prolongs your pleasure while meandering to his own. 
The best thing about your boyfriend’s magic is not only do you experience pain in his place, you get the privilege of sharing in the pleasure you provide him in turn. Heightening your experience and creaming around him near incessantly while his skin only grows tacky with sweat from the effort of movement. 
Sharing in the euphoria albeit muted for himself but he enjoys overstimulating you, taking a different sort of sick pleasure in the tears you reward him with. 
Pearly and sweet with your face scrunched up at a different sort of sweet sting to revel in. Carpaccio leans down to you, tip of his tongue catching the saline droplet that rolled down your cheek effortlessly, tracing up the track of it before kissing at the corner of your eye. 
“Good girl, can you cry more for me?” His voice a bit strained, a touch more gravel to his usually even tone telling of his own crawl to rapture. 
You bite your lip as you writhe, trembling thighs wrapping around his waist as you cant your hips to take him deeper. Mewling at the sound of his throaty growl at the feel, lewd squelching sounding more intensely with the adjustment. Fisting the pillow by your head as you arch off the mattress, tears blurring your vision as they well in your lash line, falling quickly as his cockhead nudges into your cervix. 
A dull throb of pain emanating from the base of your spine upwards, sending a whole-bodied tremble through you as you choke on a sob. Overwhelmed in the best way, unable to decide on how you want to lay now because of it; finally settling for wrapping your arms around Carpaccio’s neck to keep him close to you. 
Reveling in the sound of his pants for breath the closer he draws to his own demise, hisses escaping through clenched teeth as your walls flutter around him again in another orgasm. 
He steadily grows desperate, a little more fervor in his pace and the sensual swipe of his tongue against yours the moments he wants to stop marveling at the mess he’s making of you melts into stalled movement for you to swallow the groans you elicit. 
“Does this feel good for you?” He questions as his hand slips beneath you to cup the back of your neck, forcing you to focus on him even as his composure wanes. 
Your face scrunches in confusion, brows knit with slight concern because he’s never asked that question save for early on in the relationship and sexual exploration. “You can’t feel it?”
“I can,” a quiet reassurance He smiles at that, a softness to his eyes that’s a rarity for many except for yourself. Craning you slightly to meet him for a chaste kiss as his hips buck involuntarily,  “but I want to know how you feel.” 
“Good,” a sigh of a sound, “always feel good,” fingers sliding along his shoulder and into his own hair. Eyes alight when you watch the small smile on his lips falter and break from a silent groan. Lips agape as his voice catches on a groan. 
It’s exciting to watch him begin to crumble, lose composure and get carried away in the carnal desire for release. Tugging at his hair when one hand knots into your own and the other holds fast to your hip in a bruising grip. 
Grunting and groaning and managing a broken, “close, so close.” 
Sealing his demise by breathing out a breathy “inside ‘cio, please inside,” as your nails rake down his back. Cooing lovingly whenever you don’t feel the sensation along your own back this time, Carpaccio cutting off his own magic so he can indulge in the minute pain of their drag. 
Groaning long and low, broken between kisses smattered wherever either of you can reach. Your cheek, his jaw, your throat, the corner of his mouth before you’re joining in sweet rapture. 
Your breath and sound stolen as white hot pleasure blinds the both of you momentarily, milking your boyfriend for everything he’s worth as he paints your velvet walls in sticky white. 
Collapsing first, limbs limp as you slump into the mattress and release your hold on him. Glistening in a sheen of sweat as your chest heaves in an attempt to return to an even rhythm. 
Only to have your progress dashed in the next instance as Carpaccio flips your positions so you’re straddling him now. Still hard cock twitching against your inner thigh as his spend leaks out of you. Reflexively grinding down into him so his the tip runs through your folds with ease from the lubrication. Stalled in place as he finds the knife without looking with perfect ease.  
Point of it to your throat, forcing your chin slightly towards so it doesn’t dig into the sensitive flesh. Breathing out slowly as you glance down at him to see him bear that sinister smile and lifeless eyed stare that makes you clench around nothing, loving the sudden shift in his personality, “we’re not done yet.”  
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tangerinecherrygal · 2 days
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Thoughts on Bridgerton S3 so far.
Under the cut for the sake of my poor moots and for spoilers. And first and foremost, I am a hater, so I will have some complaints but most are positive.
Positives:
Developing Cressida’s character. I’ve wanted this since I started watching with season 2. I love that she isn’t a cardboard cutout mean girl bc she gets shat on (deservedly sometimes) a lot by the main characters. Also I’m not sure which way they want to go with her character but I don’t think she needs any kind of redemption, maybe just a softening of her character.
Disabled visibility. It’s very clunky, but it is a step in the right direction.Period pieces tend to be worse than other types of shows and movies at erasing disabled people. It’s easy to forget that disabled people did exist and were apart of society. I can’t speak much to how they were treated, but this is bridgerton so it is very possible to portray them in ways that are realistic to the more modern experience of, say, being in a wheelchair.
Portia Featherington. Send tweet.
Benedict being a fun little guy.
Sibling dynamics of the bridgertons are really sweet to see and always make me smile.
Penelope serving cunt, intellect and agency.
Thr Mondrich family being on screen more. I’d love a side show on them like Queen Charlotte. Their relationship is so sweet and I am observing 👀 with upmost respect.
I do like Colin’s new look buuut… we will come back to this.
Francesca’s new actress is so talented. The shy girl rep that I need. She looks a lot like Phoebe and fits in perfectly.
The other stuff (and how i would change it)
Penelope’s makeover seemed rushed. I think her transformation should’ve been gradual as she gains confidence. Almost like Kate’s last season. She starts to reflect her confidence e gains throughout the season and i’m thinking that a fanfic may be brewing oh no.
Colin’s makeover is needed bc they had to downplay the actors beauty in earlier seasons. But I don’t see him as a devilishly handsome rake all of a sudden. Luke Newton has a kind and approachable (kind of baby) face and I think that they should play on that. A pretty kind of handsome instead of trying to immitate the more masculine look that they used for anthony. I know it’s because he is putting on a performance but I think they could have gona another way. His look in season 2 is great in my opinion, maybe if his clothing was more relaxed but he kept the same hair then it would be perfect.
They’re trying to convince us that he’s suave and smooth with the ladies but it’s not consistent with his character
The threesome scenes? Not a hundred percent sure who that was for. Sapphics let me know if you appreciated those scenes because I know they weren’t doing that for their famously large straight male audience. I also saw someone say it reduces the sex workers to props but in context that kind of works into the story so idk.
Colin went from being lost at the end of last season to gaining a sense of identity that isn’t implied to be an act.
Lots of side stories make it seem messy and wastes time that can go into understanding Francesca, Penelope, and Colin. Instead of focusing on stories like Lady Bridgerton’s romantic story they really should make a QS 2 where they can explore the older cast of characters.
Paaaaacinnng. Everything is happening so fast and the side stories mean that Polin doesn’t even make much sense to me. I don’t feel any chemistry. I’m not going to count how long they’ve been on screen together this season, but it’s not enough for me to believe that Colin finally sees Pen in a romantic way. The helping Pen find a husband quest lasted for a second and immediately he realises his feelings. I just don’t buy it. I almost want to cut away to horny ass Kanthony to see actual chemistry.
if anybody reads this and has their own takes pls comment. I love talking about the show and hearing what other people thought.
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Captain America: Civil War ft. Static (10)
Pairings: Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings), Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader
Genre: Angst with a sprinkle of happiness?
Summary: Goodbyes are a bitch, aren't they? Especially when you the future better than the people in question.
(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)
Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Past Trauma
a/n: i wrote this before the entire fucking series
Captain America: Civil War ft. Static (9) | Series Masterlist | Age of Ultron (Static Origin Story) | The Avengers (ft. Static) | Captain America: The Winter Soldier (ft. Static) | Static Verse Masterlist
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“I have been thinking. I do that these days. I think a lot—all the time. You’ll be surprised to hear that it started long before whatever this shitshow was… I have been thinking a lot and I have to tell you, I hate thinking.” Tony’s sitting in his workshop at the compound as a hologram projection of his sister’s recorded message plays in front of him. He watches as she shakes her head with something akin to sorrow.
“It makes me heavy. It bogs me down with the weight of my thoughts—which inevitably turn into feelings. And you—you, Anthony Edward Stark, know better than any man who’s ever lived that my feelings are so. very. big. Humongous. Ginormous. Brobdingnagian.” Y/n laughs then, a broken small little thing, and shifts in her seat where she’s manspreading like she owns whatever place she recorded this message in.
“I think… I think about friendships. I think about you, and Nat, and Rhodey, and Howie, and Maria, and Peggy. Then I think about Thor off in space somewhere. I think about Bruce too and wish he’s miraculously found Thor and is on his way home, hopefully. I think about Sam, I think about Wanda and Vision and Happy and Pep and—it…it makes my heart heavy. Because sometimes I think about family and somehow all the same names pop right back into my head. It makes me feel warm.” She smiles, and his heart—his cheating, broken, angry heart—takes some solace in knowing that at least that was real.
“I remember when Maria handed you to me after she had spent hours screaming for you to just get the hell out of her in that hospital room. I wasn’t in there—in the room, I mean… I was too scared to go in—private moment and all that… Until your father came barging out, all sweaty and scared, like he was about to shit a brick. He walked past me at first but when he did, I got up on my feet and he turned and looked at me and his face went slack. I have never felt that kind of fear. But it was gone as quick as it came cause Howie was shouting at me, asking me where the fuck had I been this entire time while shoving me inside the delivery room. The moment I went in, your mother fucking screamed ‘thank fuck you’re here’! And that was that. If there was a doubt about it before, it was gone now. I was a Stark, through and through. Alien blood be damned. This was my little family.” Her eyes seem misty, Tony notes. She’s all dressed up in a spectacular all-white three-piece suit, with her blazer laid carefully on the back of her seat.
“I held your mother’s hand and watched as the most important person of my life came into existence. We were all crying by then, tears of joy. 
“After it was over, she wanted to get some rest. Howard had apparently shat that brick he was so desperately holding onto by his perky asshole and was therefore already deep in slumber… which by the way—typical Howard. So anyway, Maria wanted a well-deserved nap so she handed you off to me. And I will never forget what she said. ‘Look after him, will you?’ It might have been framed as a question, but a question it was not. It was an order, as clear as day, written in blood and tears and leftover placenta liquid.” It makes Tony wonder how many more stories he has yet to hear. He’s known this woman his entire life, quite fucking literally and yet, in moments like these, the moments that matter the most, she always has a new story for him. 
“I held you in my arms and I had a purpose. From that point on, I would have a purpose for the rest of my cunty god-forsakenly long life—watch out for you. To have your back, no matter what…” She exhales as her head falls, seemingly too heavy with thoughts for her to carry with any ease at all. “I had a duty of care.”
He watches as she brings her palms over her eyes, pressing them in to try to relieve whatever pain she can… None of it lifts, he knows. He’s speaking from experience.
With a deep breath in, she sits up once again. “I am not telling you all this to say that I would have chosen differently. I wouldn’t have. I never could have, I hope—I just hope one day you can understand why that was. I am, however, telling you all this in some twisted way to explain perhaps? All your life you have been used to the idea of me having your back no matter what happened, and this—this fucking cock boggling mess was the first fucking time I ever faltered. And for that… For that, I am deeply sorry, Anthony. My intention has never been to hurt you, ever. I said a lot of things. Really shitty stuff. I said those things in the heat of the moment—I couldn’t fucking stop it, Stark. I just couldn’t. Try as I might, they kept spilling. Th—there was a fucking hole in my chest, burning and itching and drilling deeper still. I couldn’t control it, it ached and hurt and burnt and I just… I couldn’t stop. Because it was fear. Because I was scared. I was—I still am. I am so fucking scared, Tony. I am always so goddamn scared, you know?” She’s a mumbling crying mess now, and Tony feels like absolute fucking shit. 
“The life I had before all this, before you—it was horrid, Tony. It was so bad. I woke up every day hoping it would finally be the day I’d meet the bullet with my name on it and it would be my last. And every fucking day it wasn’t. Which was worse… but it was also better because I didn’t want to die, you know? I didn’t want to die without knowing what it—what it fe—felt like to be happy.
“I kept living in that filth.” There is so much fucking disdain in her voice as she speaks, his own blood starts curdling. “I kept going, kept doing The Orphanage’s dirty work, then I did HYDRA’s dirty work, then I did S.H.I.E.L.D.’s. Because I was scared. And as badly as I wanted to die, I wanted to live way more. I wanted—” She’s out of breath and she looks so fucking distraught, he doesn’t even know how to fucking react. He has never seen her like this. Years and years of living with his sister, an entire life’s worth of memories, and never did he know she was hurting this badly… How the fuck did he not know?
“I just wanted to live. I wanted to escape… one day. And back then, when I was in the fucking thick of it, it never felt like I could. You have to understand, up to that point, I had lived my entire life in what was the equivalent of one fucking jail cell after another. Never in my wildest dreams did I even think of having a room with a window, let alone a view. Even when I thought of it all ending—when I thought of my freedom, I thought of the ways I could hide, of where I could get passports, of what supplies I would need while being on the run from whatever organization had control of me at that time. I just wanted to own myself—and that would have been freedom enough.” 
She composes herself.
“So, when you came to me with all your, honestly, very good intentions of getting us to sign the accords I was—” Her composer slacks, “I was back there again! I was back in a small tiny room, with an open fucking toilet and a bed that made you want to sleep on the floor. I was back to being controlled and tortured and experimented upon and I was back to being played with like a goddamn machine!” She’s almost pleading now, tears running down her face. 
“I would do anything for you, Tony. You have to know that.” There is a seriousness in her words that scare the shit out of him, cause she says, “I would do anything for you. You want the world? It’s yours. I will burn it to the ground if you asked me to, not even question it. You want it whole and pure? I will conquer it for you in a fortnight. But–but,” she breaks once again, “But I couldn’t—I cannot do this. I cannot go back.” She wipes away her tears.
“I have tasted freedom now. I didn’t know how sweet it was before. I didn’t know what it felt like to have a family, to have friends who love me. I didn’t know what it was like to have a room with a view… I didn’t know what it felt like to have a choice. I can’t give it up now, Tony. Please, you have to understand, I can’t. I can’t go back. Please.” She’s fucking begging him now, she’s so desperate that it rips him apart. Is this what went on in her head when he talked about it all? She seems so fragile and afraid… he did this to her? He wasn’t aiming for this. He was never aiming for this. He just wanted to make up for his sins but… at this cost? At her cost?
“You know why I got the cruelest fucking missions they had? The ones that would rot you from the inside out? Cause they knew my past. They’d see my record, and they’d send me off to missions that were soul-sucking, motherfucking shit that made me puke my guts out the moment I was in the clear. Because jobs that filthy belong to people of filth. I got the jobs that couldn’t be done by someone with a soul, done by a man who was whole. It didn’t matter if it was The Orphanage, HYDRA, or even S.H.I.E.L.D. I got the soulless job because they knew I never had one, to begin with…” 
Fuck him.
He’s the most selfish asshole out there.
She exhales then… a pause, a beat, and a moment of soft introspection. He can practically pinpoint the moment she decides to compose herself. It happens between the nervous bite of her lip and her jaw clicking in place. He knows her at least that well…
She sits up straight. “But that was then, and this is now. Now I have. Now I want. I won’t even let anyone touch my freedom, not even in death.” She clicks her tongue. “So it just makes me think, you know? I think about things like this. About you and your parents, and my friends—my family. I think about them. I think about these things when I wake up, when I fight, when I dream. All that is to say… I’m not callous about this life. I am not callous about the decision I made. It weighs on me heavier than you know. It wretches me apart, with every breath…”
He doesn’t want to hear the part that comes next.
“But—but I can’t stay, Tony. You know I can’t… and for that too, I am sorry.” 
He’s never really spent a day in his life when he couldn’t reach out to his sister. He’s a fairly old dude, so you have to pardon him if he’s quite scared of it. He doesn’t know how to do it. He just doesn’t.
“I didn’t know about Barnes. Fuck, I didn’t have the faintest clue. And I absolutely did not know about that traitorous bastard who I won’t even dignify by naming. I—” Her fist clenches as she brings it up to cover her mouth. Her anger is so fucking palpable that Tony thinks he might just be able to sense it, that is until the footage starts glitching and he realizes, it’s cause her anger is making her emanate power. He thought he could hear static because there is fucking static, it is coming from her. She’s trying to calm herself down.
She breathes in, the footage settling. “He doesn’t matter,” She says with cold unfocused eyes and he can see how deep that secret has dung into her. “This isn’t about him. This is… this is about me, pleading with you, urging you to—to” she pauses, long and hard, with a small smile on her face. It’s the same one she wears when she knows she’s about to do something profoundly fucking stupid. Consider Tony terri-fucking-fied. “This is me urging you to, at a much later date in life—try and forgive Sergeant Barnes.”
“Woman, have you gone fucking crazy?!?!! Did you hit your fucking head when you decided TO DROP A BUILDING ON US?!” Tony knows he’s screaming at a holographic projection but it’s not for naught.
Because his sister is waving away his screams with an annoyed face, “Don’t fucking freak the fuck out. Just like, listen to me! TONY!” His tirade stops. She—her recording, somehow just knows. Cause then she exhales. “I am not saying now, and I am certainly not saying you have to. I am just pleading with you to consider it… Because—well because there are countless people out there in the world who…” she bites her lip. “I am to them what Barnes is to you. Except, unlike me, Sergeant Barnes never even had the chance to rebel, he was brainwashed and tortured, and broken down to be used.” And before Tony can begin to protest, her hands fly up to stop him. “That was all I wanted to say about that. I am done, the decision is completely up to you. Just you, and there is absolutely no right answer, just the one you choose. This was just…” she smiles, “something for you to think about.” 
He can’t help the corner of his mouth from curling a little as well.
She kicks back then, hands crossed in front of her as she looks around wherever she is. “That, yeah. I think that was my grand speech. I know it feels like I’m leaving you behind somehow, but I promise you I am not. I’m just a… actively hunted fugitive of the state.” She shakes her head from side to side in consideration before adding, “And I have a few dues to pay… I’ll be back once they are cleared.” 
She looks up at him then. It almost feels like she’s in the room with him.
“But no matter what happens, I’m here, Tony. You know how to reach me. And I will always come when you call. I will always be there for you. Even if you don’t see me there, trust me. I am there. I will always have your back.”
Something catches her eye, she pulls out her phone and checks it.
Rolling her eyes, she pockets the device and looks back up at the camera.
“Ugh, yeah. I think our time here is up…” She finally smiles, happy and true. “You just pulled in, so I gotta run.”
WAIT, WHAT??
HE JUST PULLED IN? 
TO WHERE?!!
He runs back to his station, “F.R.I.D.A.Y. run diagnostics on the recording, analyze it top to bottom, tell me where it was taken.”
Meanwhile, he watches as his sister stands up. 
“I love you, kiddo. And I’m always right behind you.”
More commotion on the recording as F.R.I.D.A.Y. responds, “Sir, the footage was taken here, at the Avenger’s compound.”
“That cocky bitch,” Tony curses, almost in awe of her. Cause fuck! Even Rogers had the good sense to courier his fucking apology. What was this woman thinking? “Tell me when F.R.I.D.A.Y.!”
He watches as his sister puts on her blazer and fixes up her suit.
“17 minutes ago, sir,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. answers.
“WHAT?!”
“There was a gap in the security footage, it was cloned to play in a loop. It’s almost seamless sir, except this,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. presents the footage on the screen in front of him.
Meanwhile, the hologram of his sister walks up close to the camera and leans down to look at it face-to-face. She presses a kiss to her fingers and presses the fingers to the camera.
“See you, space cowboy.” With that, the holograph is gone.
Tony falls onto his chair in complete surprise and an unwitting smile on his face, as he watches his sister on the CCTV footage waving at him with a wink.
“That fucking—”
Find the series masterlist here. Find other Static Verse works here.
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valictini · 20 hours
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(Anon from previous ask)
What doesn’t sit right with me is that Quackity said during a stream that there was no volunteer positions within his studios. Wouldn’t that mean that he or his team would have budgeted in order to account for admins payements even before the last merch drop ?
Even if you assume he wasn’t much involved in the behind the scenes workings of his company, didn’t know how many people exactly were working under it, it’s impossible to ignore the eggs admins, he literally played with them for months (putting aside Chunsik who joined much later, that makes 10 eggs who have been around for 6 months/an entire year).
Then if volunteers were never supposed to exist, wouldn’t they have budgeted in order to have enough money to pay AT LEAST these ten people every month ? Even if there was indeed a bad apple higher up who was misusing the funds before, this shouldn’t be an issue now.
I’m sorry for the rant, it’s just that the financial issues argument has felt very inconsistent for me since it was first brought up and I need to air my frustration.
Yeah I feel you anon, I really feel you.
First of all, I believe Quackity said he knew that there were volunteers, but he thought people were eventually hired after a trial. Also, I think the egg actors role was explicitly a volunteer role. Since it was supposed to last for like, 2 weeks, I can understand the reasoning. It should have probably been reevaluated after it was made clear that the eggs would stay longer though.
What still baffles me is that no official structure was implemented for when a new language would be included. I feel like one paid manager per language would have been the BARE minimum, but instead, we got Lumi (with later Lea) carrying the entire french side of the server alone, for months, for free, while also playing an egg.
Honestly, the ONLY way I can see Quackity being fully ignorant of the real state of things is that the administration lied about everything, especiall the payment (as in, they showed fake receipts, declared that they paid people when they didn't, and pocketed the difference) AND, critically, that Quackity never checked himself.
This is in the realm of possibilities, and I wouldn't be surprised if it were what actually happened. Doesn't change the fact that it would mean that Quackity was sorely incompetent and naive, and doesn't excuse the real harm that this caused to the volunteers. But hey, at least he had no ill intents.
The fact that in this scenario, he never talked to the admins privately is, again, baffling to me, but seeing how limited the communication seemed to be between admins and ccs, it unfortunately is in the realm of possibilities too.
So here, this is the most generous scenario I can think of for Quackity. Unrealistic ambitions combined with absolute incompetence of how to manage such a big project and blind trust in people that ultimately exploited his ignorance.
Still, the fact that he never hired any HR and never personally checked why, for example, there were languages that were consistently left out of official announcements are a big red flag to me, and a reminder that we just don't know wtf happened. I want to believe he never intended for the abuse, but there are ways he has facilitated it when, as a law student, he should have known better, and people have every right to not trust his intentions.
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notemaker · 9 months
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Imagine building a family in a terrible world. Some of you die sooner, and you try to make it work. Then everyone, everything is gone, you have less than a minute to process that, and you're alone. Except it's worse! Because your family will be there, but suddenly you're not part of it. The house is in front of you and you don't have the keys.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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Turtle Takedown Teamwork.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#Something about changing the action sequence to something gentle is hilarious to me.#The lesson here is “Be nice to turtles. They are gentle creatures. And many are very endangered.”#don't get me wrong here; I love this scene a lot. LWJ's string technique is one of my favoyrite things.#We do get a fair amount of LWJ fighting but I always loved how the theme of strings comes into play.#There is actually a lot to unpack with LWJ being associate with 'strings'.#The musicianship: Of dedication and rigor in one's practice.#The tension between following along a path or composing your own way forwards (playing what has been written vs composing)#A string is a tightly coiled/taunt entity; The same tension that makes it sing so beautifully can be it's downfall if pushed too hard.#And as a non-musical string - something that binds. Be it to his sect and family or how he binds his fate to WWX -#LWJ cannot exist without his binds. It is not something which ties him down though. It keeps him together.#And he himself *is* a bind. He 'ties wwx down' in ways that are initially negatively viewed ('come to gusu' - feels like: come be trapped)#But later it is shown how (despite being introduced as a free spirit) WWX truly wants to be bound to something and someone.#Marriage is a bind he wants. He wants to be tied and grounded by LWJ.#It's starting to sound like innuendo. Let's call his fondness for being literally tied up smart thematic writing.#Finally. Sex scenes that are important to the plot and characters
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