#the sr engines were probably ignored at best

[edwards-exploit]

Troublesome Tangmere and 249 Squadron Reliable Rebecca!

In an ideal world, we could've had a story where Tangmere causes good old Sundrian Confusion and Delay and then promptly eats shit.

Rebecca as 249 Squadron wasn't my idea, but it's been ingrained into my head nonetheless. I like the idea of a Rebecca that spent most of her life in scrapyards and storage and then still coming out singing- quite literally! But the trauma of it is still very much there, just... lingering. I imagine 'What Rebecca Does' was one of those moments where her anxiety and self doubt got the better of her- she only spent a short while on rails, and while she did pull expresses like The Night Ferry back on the mainland, here on Sodor it seemed that everyone is much more.... experienced and worldly and cool, and most of all, they got modifications and rebuilds to work around their design flaws while Rebecca is still very much an unrebuilt bulleid pacific. Poor girl's not sure what she can really do, after all these years and with her mechanical problems. This isn't even getting into when she WAS in service- her family was fine, and quite loving actually- and the ex SR engines were a decent sort! Everyone else, however...

[star-spangledstud]

Better Than Me (2/2)

Part one is here!

Summary: You really are better than them. 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x (female!)Reader.

Word Count: 3000-ish.

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

It was ridiculous. So ridiculous that it bordered near downright insane. Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Impractical, stupid and completely, utterly ridiculous. Beautiful, sparkly and downright amazing, but ridiculous. You fucking loved it.

The baby pink, bejeweled handgun sat inside a pink velvet box on your lap. The bow, which was also pink, of course, was lying at your feet, which were clad in bedazzled silver Louboutins. Gems of all colors on the rainbow covered it on all sides, from the barrel to the handgrip and along the safety pin.

You gazed up at Tony, who wore an amused expression on his face, before glancing over at Pepper. She had her hand over her mouth in embarrassment, clearly horrified by Tony’s gift choice. The card read that it was from both of them. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. 

“Happy birthday, kid.” He said with a smirk that nearly extended from ear to ear.

“I don’t even want to know how much you spent on that,” Pepper muttered, shaking her head while you took the thing out of the pink and white polka-dotted tissue paper.

The others sighed audibly when you smiled, annoyed that Tony’s gift overshadowed theirs yet again. To be fair, they’d all expected it, but all of them secretly hoped any one of their gifts would be your favorite. 

“I love it,” you said, twirling the weapon around in your hand, “and I agree with Pepper, I can’t even imagine how much you spent on this thing...”

“You’ll make it work,” he mused, “Two million dollars, by the way, and you could just thank me.”

Your breath caught in your throat and for a moment, you were sure Pepper was going to faint. Natasha shook her head, watching the scene unfold in horror. It was the ugliest thing she had ever seen. Wanda, who seemed to share none of her feelings, had created a monster out of you.

“Thanks, Tony,” you blew him a kiss, unable to get up from your seat at the dinner table that was covered in white roses in silver vases and wine that came from expensive bottles.

“It’s very pretty,” the witch said, “Can I hold it?” 

“Please,” you shoved it into her hands, “by all means.” 

“You’re insane, Tony,” you said as you took the gift Bruce had gotten for you from his outstretched hands with a smile, “Absolutely fucking nuts, but I love you for it.”

Your eyes went around the room, finding Steve at the end of the table of which you sat at the head. You were the birthday girl, after all, the pink satin sash draped around you said so in large, cursive letters and so it was your turn to have the most important seat of the house. It was a ridiculous ordeal, he thought so anyway, but you were smiling and chatting and enjoying the company of your friends and it was good to see. He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened and knew very well he was to blame. 

He was the one who pushed you away, even though it was for your own good.

You took Thor’s gift just as the waiter began to serve your first course, and since he was seated closest to you, you thanked him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Steve’s gift came last. You didn’t expect anything from him given the circumstances.

Four hours, six courses and many glasses of wine and Asgardian mead later, you found yourself back in your room. Gifts given to you by your fellow team members were sprawled out on your bed, ranging from a pair of silk pajamas with glittery Ugg slippers to match from Wanda to Starbucks and Sephora gift cards from Sam and everything in between. Chocolate covered strawberries in a glittery box, two romance novels, a bottle of beautifully aged red wine from Asgard and a peach-toned Dior lipstick, all tokens of appreciation given to you by the people you cared about the most. 

Despite the hardships that you faced the previous year and the social distancing that occurred during that time, you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be with the team again. You’d changed a lot in a year, grown to be a different person than the one you were before. It wasn’t necessarily a good or a bad thing in your mind, it just happened naturally.  

You sat down beside the velvet box, eyes automatically flying towards the item on your far left. A drawing of you, sitting on a terrace, staring out into the sunny skyline with a cup of coffee in your hand. It was an old drawing by the looks of it because your hair was much shorter and a different shade and your clothing was far plainer than it was now; black jeans and a white t-shirt. A signature that read SR sat in the bottom right corner in messy, doctor-like handwriting. It made your toes curl. 

Of course, he was the one with the overly personal gift. You didn’t know whether it was because he simply had no fucking clue what 21st-century women liked to receive for their birthdays or whether he’d purposely done it to make you remember the day it was drawn, but the latter happened and now, you were sitting on your bed with prickling eyes and goosebumps that lined your skin.

You remembered that day very vividly. You’d only been an Avenger for three months and were struggling to adjust to the fact that you had to suddenly follow orders. Before joining the team, you’d worked alone, hired by people with deep pockets and dark intentions. You made your own rules. 

The first time Steve had taken you out for coffee he kind to offer you advice. At first, you thought it felt a little like he was trying to be the human resource manager with the way he talked to you, you continued to meet up every Saturday afternoon and as the weeks passed, something in the dynamic changed.  He loosened up, got rid of his Captain America persona and instead became Steve. You didn’t know what caused the change, but it was good, allowed you to actually get to know the man behind the suit and vice versa. 

That particular day was a good one, It was a sunny day in spring, not too hot and not too cold, with a soft breeze that carried the scent of fresh flowers across the terrace. You’d ordered a latte, Steve liked it black. You weren’t talking, but instead, a comfortable silence hung between you. You’d brought a book just like you always did and read it while occasionally eyeing the people that passed you by. Steve, whose cheeks had become fiery red out of the blue, pulled out a leather-bound sketchbook and began to draw.

You never asked him what he was drawing, even when he stored away his pencils and shoved the book back inside his tote did you not bother to pry. Not even when you became so close you’d sometimes fall asleep together on the couch, did you not ask. 

You knew now, but they didn’t say ignorance is bliss without reason.

You began to mindlessly pick at three layers of lavender toned sparkling nail polish, pulling at it as it came off your fingers with far too much ease. You’d paid the lady $60 for your manicure three days prior and now, you were ripping it off. With a deep sigh, you pushed yourself up, gripping the back of your heels so you could slip them off with ease. You’d probably never wear them again. 

You slowly began to clean up the mess, discarded packaging, boxes, and gift bags and placing them in the corner of your room near the door. You put everything away except for the drawing, which you couldn’t decide what to do with. Why was it such a big deal to you, anyway? You hardly spoke to Steve anymore and if you did, it was during pre- and post-mission briefings. Maybe that’s why it made you feel so strange. it didn’t feel right, such a personal, intimate gift after how far the two of you had drifted apart. 

He hadn’t asked you about Netflix in four months and you hadn’t offered your expertise on which shows and movies were the best. You didn’t bring him coffee anymore but instead, he made his own, never leaving enough in the pot for you to make a cup as well. The message he sent you was loud and clear and in return, you were an open book. 

He’d grumble when a stranger was seated at the breakfast table on Sundays courtesy of your hospitality, avert his eyes when they tried to kiss you openly (which you refused). The pang in his chest would hit him when he saw Ubers out front whose engines were running to carry you to your dates in high-end restaurants and fancy bars. He wasn’t jealous, he kept telling himself. He was just worried about your safety when you disappeared into the night with strange men. Men that weren’t him, ironically. 

He should’ve seen you when you were right in front of him. When you were there, literally waiting for him to make a move on you, begging him with your mannerisms and your looks, your glances, and smiles even when his jokes weren’t funny. He knew damn well you would make an amazing couple, that you could take on the entire fucking world as a duo, but he was too scared to put it on the line, too scared of what might happen once the bad guys caught a whiff of your relationship. They’d already tried to destroy Bucky and Jesus Christ, they nearly succeeded. He couldn’t handle the thought of losing you to an organization like HYDRA, or worse. He never told you this. You had no idea. You were convinced he didn’t want you because of your flaws. Because of who you were. 

You got over it, shut out the thought of ever holding hands with Steve in public, the thoughts of ever feeling his lips softly pressing against your plump cheeks and his body weighing down on top of you while his voice vibrated against your ear and neck. You managed to forget about him, managed to exchange the memories and fantasies of him for diamond necklaces, silk blazers, and expensive shoes. You traded him in for strangers with big bank accounts driving nice cars wearing expensive suits. They managed to fill the void he created by pushing you away. 

So yeah, the gift bothered you. It was too nice, too sweet, so sweet you had to struggle to stay stoic when thanking him earlier. You literally had to stop yourself from smiling too big, from allowing tears of gratitude and happiness to completely ruin your make-up. if things had been different, you would have done those things. They weren’t. He didn’t want you and now he was being nice. It didn’t make sense. 

Just as you were about to change into a different outfit for the evening, your phone vibrated. You picked it up off your nightstand and opened it. It was a text message, but not from the guy who would be knocking on the front door in the coming hour.

I didn’t get a chance to personally wish you a happy birthday. Can we talk? -S

You gripped the device so hard you nearly crushed the screen. Six months ago, a message like this would’ve had you crying on your bathroom floor for four hours. Now, it just made you angry. So angry, that you picked your studded Louboutin off the floor and chucked it at the wall. The heel broke off against the concrete, but you didn’t notice. You weren’t going to wear them again anyway.  

Your fingers typed furiously, breathing coming out in shallow huffs. Images of the girls he’d brought back to Tony’s party’s flashed before your eyes while your fingers went faster than your brain could keep up with. 

Roof. Omw. 

Whether he understood the abbreviation ‘omw’ or not, you didn’t take the time to guess. You left your room without changing into the other dress or putting on new shoes. The elevator went up agonizingly slowly, but it was too late to go back and take the stairs. The buttons were pushed and the door closed. 

He was standing by the edge, leaning against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. In contrast to you, he had changed his attire, leaving the light blue button-down he was wearing earlier for a plain white t-shirt and black sweatpants. He looked down at your feet, noticed how your polished toes were bare and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again when he caught the expression on your face. You weren’t surprised to find him there first. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d come up there running. Apparently, though, he did know what ‘omw’ meant.

“What the hell is this?” You asked, waving your phone in front of his face, “what do you think you’re doing?” 

“What do you mean?” He asked, voice wavering. 

“What do I mean? What...,” you snorted, “What do you mean?! The gift, the talking? We shouldn’t be here.” 

“But why?” He knew why but chose to ignore the sensical part of his brain that told him he shouldn’t be doing this.

You lifted your arms, a deep breath leaving you while you considered what to say. You wanted to come up with an excuse, tell him you were busy or that you’d lost sight of not just him, but the entire team, but fuck it, lying wouldn’t get you anywhere. It had never gotten you anywhere before.  

“Because I have to get over you.” 

He was silent, taking in your words. They stung, even though he already knew the truth they carried. 

“I couldn’t have you constantly hanging around me anymore. I couldn’t stand seeing those girls hanging off your arm at those stupid parties and I sure as hell didn’t want to hear how fun they were and how great and wonderful and how amazing, and-”

He stepped forward, gripping your arms. The sudden contact made blood rush to your head, making you nauseous and dizzy simultaneously. 

 “I spent so much time wondering why they were better than me,” you mumbled, “I still haven’t figured it out.” 

“They aren’t better than you,” he replied softly, “they don’t even compare to you.” 

You looked up, eyes large and glossy and so goddamn pretty with that champagne eyeshadow and winged liner and Steve thought he was going to lose his mind then and there.

“I had to let you go because I’m afraid,” he admitted, “terrified of what might happen if anyone tries to get to you because of me.” 

“Steve,” you tried, but couldn’t find words. 

All this time, you thought he didn’t like you. That he wasn’t interested in you, didn’t want anything from you but a friendship at most. You’d taught yourself to ignore your constant desire for him because it would never be reciprocated.

“When you distanced yourself from me, I knew I’d messed up, but it was too late. I’d dug a hole for myself and there was nothing I could do to get back out,” he snorted, “I needed those girls as a distraction, but none of them are as good as you.” 

He smiled sadly, taking your hands in his larger, calloused palms and began to rub circles on your knuckles. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, “I’ve been stupid and an ass and I don’t deserve to even be in the same room as you. I fucked up, Y/N.”

The skin on the back of his neck was soft when you clasped your fingers around it, muscles tensing up when you began to pull him down to meet you. Without heels on, you’d lost a significant amount of height on him, causing him to tower over you. On a hot day, he could be your personal parasol, shielding you from the sun with his entire body.

“Idiot,” you mumbled before his mouth found yours. 

He kissed you, hands gripping your waist out of fear that if he were to let go, he’d wake up in his bed alone. But it wasn’t a dream, he knew it because the soft feeling of your glossy lips against his own was unlike anything he’d ever felt. 

“Idiot,” you said again when you took a moment to breathe. 

“I am,” he kissed you again, the sweet taste of Chardonnay and that night’s dessert - creme brulee and vanilla ice cream - still lingering on your tongue, sending his senses in complete overdrive. 

“I don’t want to stay away from you anymore,” he said finally, “I’d never let anyone hurt you.” 

You smiled, heart ready to explode from the sudden burst of happiness you experienced for the first time in a long time. Maybe Wanda was right all along. 

“Steve, I can defend myself. You know that, right?” You mused.

“I’ll kill them if they try.” 

He captured your lips with his again. The scent of his cologne, oud, and pine, nearly caused your knees to buckle from under you. You didn’t even realize the goosebumps that lined your skin, or the fact that the date you were supposed to meet up with had already bailed on you. It didn’t matter, because you finally had Steve where you wanted him. It only took for the two of you to drift apart almost completely for you to realize that you could never truly get away from one another. 

You placed your head on top of his chest, allowing his body heat to warm you up in a hug that engulfed you. It was nice, the feeling of his chest rising and falling slowly while you watched the city’s skyline in the dark. The want for it had been suppressed for so long you almost forgot what it felt like. 

“Steve?” You asked, peeking up at him through false eyelashes and three layers of waterproof mascara. 

“Hmm?”

“Your gift was my favorite.”

Yeah, all of those bitches definitely weren’t better than you. 

[knittingdreams]

Fireheart - Chapter 20

Short and sweet, enjoy this chapter my lovely peeps! <3 Masterlist and Ao3 link on previous chapter down below because I’m a lazzy bum (kidding, I have a lot of deadlines, sorry!).

@tillyrubes10 :)

CHAPTER 20

Burning hot

Celaena sped through the streets as fast as she could, the duffle bag hanging across her shoulder making the pain come back all over again. Her side was still aching, and she felt drained and tired due to the blood loss. The cold air hitting her face was a blessing, it was helping her keep her mind focused and alert. 

Once she got to the hotel, she parked in the underground parking lot, jumped on the elevator, and headed straight to her floor. Luckily, it was still early and she didn’t run into anybody on her way in, as she was sure she still looked sickish. 

When she was finally in the safety of her room, she turned on the shower and stood in front of the big mirror while undressed, waiting for the water to heat up. The scar over her hip bone was sealing nicely, and the red rim around it was mostly gone, just a faint pink remaining which meant the infection was under control. She grabbed some ointment from the cabinet and left it out so she could dab it around the wound once she was out of the shower. Her face was another deal altogether; she had big dark circles under her eyes, and the side of her face had turned all shades of green, yellow, and a little bit of purple. She could probably conceal most of it, but the cut on her brow would be visible no matter what she did to cover it.

Shaking her head, she jumped under the hot water and scrubbed her body, trying to get rid of any remnant of Cain’s disgusting scent that could be lingering on her skin. Once out, she dried and styled her hair as fast as she could, applied a ton of makeup, and then arranged her hair in curls so they would be covering the scar as best as possible. Hopefully, not many people would be paying enough attention to notice. She put on bright red lipstick to draw attention away from her eyes and added a nice big necklace over her uniform.

She looked at herself in the mirror one last time, and happy with the result, she headed out. If she rode fast, she’d make it just in time. She called the elevator button, and it showed up almost immediately. She looked at the going down arrow and smirked before the door was even fully opened.

“Good morning,” she said as she stepped in.

“Good morning to you, Celaena.” Dorian Jr. smiled broadly at her, while an older version of the lad smiled politely.

“Morning,” Dorian Sr. nodded once, and crossed his hands in front of his body.

“Dad, this is Celaena, the new exchange student I told you about.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” She stood to one side, Dorian Jr. in the middle as they rode the elevator down in silence until they reached the third floor.

“Celaena,” Dorian Jr. said then, turning to her and resting a casual hand on her shoulder. “Would you like a ride today? I’m coming back to the hotel after school, so I could give you a ride both ways.” His tone was too polite, and she had to school her face not to lift her brows at him.

Dorian Sr. glanced at them so quickly, that she almost missed it, but his lips were pursed into a straight line as he looked back towards the doors.

“Sure thing, I’d love a ride.” It wasn’t necessarily true, but riding her bike had been painful, and she was curious about the way his father had reacted to the question. Dorian Sr. tensed again, making Celaena’s curiosity peak. As the elevator reached the lobby, she wrapped an arm around Dorian’s shoulders. “Let’s go,” she said, stepping out. “Nice meeting you!” She yelled over the shoulder, smiling at Dorian Sr.

Dorian Jr. held her by the waist as they stepped out of the front doors, and she took a deep breath not to flinch away from the touch. Dorian’s car was already at the door, an usher holding the door open for him. They both jumped in, and as the car left the parking lot, Dorian raised a brow at her.

“What was that about?”

“What do you mean?” She faked innocence, making Dorian roll his eyes.

“I’m a little surprised you accepted the ride to start with, but showing yourself so friendly… I know my charms, and that’s precisely how I know you’re not affected by them.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about, prince charming, but if you don’t want my help, just say so and I’ll be back to ignoring you.” She smirked, and Dorian took a corner faster than needed, glancing at her and smiling back. With the way he was driving, she was sure they’d make it to school in time.

“So sassy, I love it. How did you know I wanted to piss off my dad?”

“I’m good at reading people.” She shrugged, trying not to give the matter too much importance. 

She knew what it was like to want to piss someone off just for the fun of it, and also to get attention. Dorian was desperate for it, desperate for any kind of attention he could get. It was so obvious, and so cliche: the boy trying to show his daddy he was good enough. Good enough to take over the business, good enough to not have to follow every step laid in front of him but to choose for himself instead. But that never worked, so they always rebelled and tried to get attention in other ways. She knew that was what she was for Dorian, even if he couldn’t see it himself. And she was going to use it to her own advantage.

“So, how about we make a deal?” Dorian asked after a moment.

“I’m listening.”

“There’s this event I need to go to next weekend, and I have a plus one. My father gave me a list of girls I should invite as good options, but I don’t like those options.”

“And you want me to be that plus one instead?” 

They reached the school’s parking lot, and Dorian killed the engine and twisted to face her. “Celaena, would you honor me with your company for the Havilliard’s annual masquerade?” he asked in a mocking tone, but she knew the proposal was real.

“What do I get in return?” she asked, crossing her arms as she faced him.

“Isn’t my amazing company enough?” Dorian took a hand to his chest dramatically, almost making her laugh.

“I wish I could say it is, but it is not.”

“I’m hurt,” Dorian said mockingly, and then jumped out of the car, and rushed to the other side. He opened the door for her and offered her a hand. Begrudgingly, she took it and stood up.

“This is still not cutting it,” she said as she closed the door behind her. “But don’t worry, I’ll think of a way for you to pay me back. Let’s just say you owe me one. Deal?”

One side of Dorian’s lips turned up in what most would have thought to be a flattering and sexy half-smile. “Deal.”

Celaena patted him twice on the shoulder as she walked past him, aware of the stares other students were giving them. “Pleasure to do business with you.”

As she walked towards the building, the eyes of the few students still outside traveled between her and Dorian, but she kept her chin high, her eyes on the door. So much for not getting people’s attention for a day. But it was worth it, getting closer to Dorian Sr.’s business could gain her the information she hadn’t found in his office, she wasn’t ready to give up on the search. She knew her parents and the Havilliards had had a lot of business together, and they hadn’t always seen eye to eye. Hell, Aedion and Dorian Jr. didn’t even speak to each other, so she guessed that showed things were still tense between the families.

Nehemia intercepted her as soon as she stepped through the doors, hugging her by the waist and leaning against her. Celaena flinched at the pain exploding on her side but composed herself fast enough for anybody to notice.

“What was that? You and Dorian? Tell me you spent the weekend together! I knew you were dating someone!” Nehemia was so excited, she was almost jumping as they walked.

“Chill down, everybody’s looking at us,” Celaena said in a hushed tone, and couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I ran into him at the hotel and he gave me a ride, that’s all. I haven’t seen him all weekend.”

“Then why did you ignore most of my texts? I missed you!”

The first bell rang, and Nehemia pouted as she let go of Celaena’s waist. “I told you I had family stuff on this weekend, I didn’t pay much attention to my phone, sorry.”

“Okay, let’s say I believe you. See you at lunchtime?”

“Of course.”

Nehemia marched down the hall as Celaena entered the room to her right, getting ready for a long day of school. Her ribs were still sore, and her head was starting to pound with a headache. She sat down slowly on her usual seat, the stitches on her hip pulling a bit, and looked for her phone as an alarm started blaring inside her bag.

Confused, she looked at the message popping on the screen. It wasn’t her everyday phone, but the one she used as a burner, which wasn’t password protected.

The name of the alarm read: ‘How’s our fire girl doing? Are the flames still burning up? XO Your sexy blond knight in shining armor. Text me to let me know.’ It was followed by a phone number that she didn’t recognize. Celaena covered her mouth with a hand, not knowing if she should laugh or be infuriated at the intrusion. She wasn’t sure when Fenrys could have gotten to her phone, but she guessed it was while she was in the kitchen with Connall. She knew he couldn’t have seen anything relevant, so there wasn’t a whole lot for her to worry about. 

She considered texting back for half a second, before throwing her phone back into her bag. It was better if she kept her distance, she could get whatever information she needed at the fights. She shouldn’t risk getting mixed up with the guards outside of work anymore. Especially not after knowing Lorcan Salvaterre was involved with them, that had hit too close for comfort. She didn’t have many classes with Lorcan but had seen the dark-haired guy at a few of them. He was always by himself, quietly sitting in the back of the room and not interacting with anybody. Another pair of eyes to be wary of.

The class went by painfully slow, and Celaena was relieved to stretch her muscles as the bell rang and she stood up with the rest of the class. Not even two steps towards the door, she felt her phone vibrating against her back as another alarm rang from within her bag.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

She pulled it out, and read the message on the screen. ‘I knew you wouldn’t text me. Come on, I just want to make sure you're alive. PS. I know you miss me.’

She shook her head as she deleted the alarm, and checked if he had set any more while she kept walking.

Sam found her at her locker, as usual, a big smile on his face. “Hey there, how is it going?”

“Not bad.”

She dug through her books, leaving some behind and pulling some more out.

“Look at me,” Sam’s tone was suddenly serious, and she turned around slowly, dreading the look she knew she was about to see on his eyes. “What are you hiding?” Sam leaned closer and looked around the hall to make sure there weren't many people around. 

“Nothing, Sam, this is not the place and you know it.”

He reached a hand towards her face, and lifted a strand of her hair, looking at her brow. She grabbed his hand and snapped it down, frowning without thinking, which made her head hurt again.

“That is not nothing.” Sam’s jaw was clenched as he spoke, and he had moved to a guarded stance on instinct.

“I was fighting, what did you expect?” She replied between clenched teeth.

“Celaena, I’m not stupid. You’re wearing a huge amount of makeup and I don’t want to know how many more bruises you’re hiding. This is not the result of just a fight, not your usual fight at least.”

She slammed her locker closed and started walking away, but Sam reached over and grabbed her from the shoulder, turning her around to face him. The pain that shot down her arm was so intense that she couldn’t help but flinch and step back. Sam’s eyes were full of worry as he looked her up and down, trying to assess the damage. But there was no way he could see the amount of damage; not the real one. Not the one that laid within.

“Sam, this is none of your business, just stay out of it.” She could deal with a lot of things, but she couldn’t deal with the pity in Sam’s eyes.

“Celaena, you need to let me in. You can’t do this alone.” The bell rang, and they were the only students left in the hall, only a few people lingering in the distance.

“And who says I can’t? I’ve been doing perfectly fine without you until now.”

“It can’t always be just you. One day, you’re going to have to let someone in.” Shaking his head, Sam turned around and walked towards his next class, leaving Celaena alone in the middle of the hall.  

She wanted to scream after him, or punch something. How did he dare talk to her like that? She could do it all alone, she didn’t need anybody. As she walked towards the classroom, she pulled her burner phone out and stared at the words written there. How’s our fire girl doing? Before she could think about it too much, she texted the number that had been given to her.

‘I’m still blazing.’ 

‘And I am not your fucking girl.’

[diinofayce]

Like A Whisper In The Night - 13

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC (Layne Hardin) | Word Count: 2,613 | Warnings: Swearing probably, fluff, angstyfluff? | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

The group all settled around the kitchen table, Wanda and Vision serving everyone large bowls of a yellow meat sauce over rice. It had the consistency of curry, but was much sweeter and very rich. Layne picked at it and mixed it around in her bowl as she tried to get the first few bites to sit calmly in her rolling stomach, it had been over a week since she had eaten anything substantial, but she wanted to show the team that she could handle herself. It was Bucky, who watched her with intense eyes from across the table, that finally stood and went over to the fridge. He came back with a small pack of applesauce and a spoon, ripping off the tinfoil lid and setting it down in front of her and pulling her bowl of Wanda’s lunch to him.

“Small bites, doll,” Bucky said softly. Layne flushed and cast her eyes around the table, the others acted like they didn’t notice and so Layne sent Bucky a timid smile of gratitude. He smiled back and dumped the food from Layne’s bowl into his and Steve’s.

Layne took tiny slow bites of the applesauce, finding that sat way better in her stomach as she picked at the torn flesh on her knuckles, the android laying torn apart on the floor behind them.

“Are we going to tell me what is happening?” Thor finally asked through a mouthful of rice.

Steve cleared his throat and wiped his mouth off on a napkin, trying to collect his thoughts on how to best go about explaining everything the God of Thunder had missed. It was Layne who reached over Natasha to her left to extend her small battered hand to Thor.

“I’m Layne Hardin; I take over people’s minds, make them tell the truth, and can make them relieve their worst memories. This is my friend Susanna Sweet, she is not an Avenger, but she did a very good job holding down Hulk for me so I could force Bruce back in control the other day so we might keep her.” Sue choked a little on her food and elbowed Layne softly in the ribs which she ignored. Thor blinked at Layne for a moment before taking her hand in his large meaty one and shook it furiously.

“Excellent! A great addition,” he boomed. He looked over at Susanna to Layne’s right and smiled. “You held down the big green guy? That is fantastic. We must battle later.”

Layne smirked as she saw Sue go a brilliant shade of red out of the corner of her eye and continued to pick at her applesauce.

“Um. Yeah. I’m not planning on staying much longer,” Susanna waved him off, trying to deflect. “I’m just staying to make sure Layne is back on track and then I have a job to get back to.”

“So if I stay a hermit you wont leave?” Layne teased, giving her friend puppy dog eyes. Sue chuckled and shook her head, already more than overly familiar with Layne’s antics.

“You mentioned something about her brother?” Thor asked Steve and Layne bristled.

Steve and Bucky both carefully watched Layne’s reaction as she froze at the mention of her sibling down in lockup. She shook herself slightly and went back to eating her applesauce and staring intensely at the table as if it was the most fascinating thing in the room.

Steve licked his lips before proceeding with caution. “Yes. Layne’s older brother is also an Inhuman, they seem to have similar powers based on a hereditary chain. He is also quite knowledgeable in the world of robotics and it seems he has been making androids to look like that woman. She’s the daughter of the scientist who experimented on the Maximoff twins,” Steve answered. Wanda shifted uncomfortably at both the reminder of Dr. List Sr and her deceased brother.

Thor had a small frown on his face and he looked across from him to address his brother. “Why did you not contact Heimdall to send me to you sooner?” Thor asked and Loki shrugged.

“A good thing I refrained, brother. Who would have been there to defeat that,” Loki replied sounding bored as he motioned to the pile of scrap behind them.

A clatter of silverware came from one end of the table as Tony put his fork down and wiped at his face with the napkin from his lap. “What I’m curious about, Hardin, is how come when you gave us a debrief on your brothers abilities you didn’t tell us he could also take over minds and bodies like you can.” He was, of course, referencing the trouble her brother caused when he took over Steve’s body on their arrival back to the tower.

Layne squeezed her eyes shut, she was hoping no one would realize and it would never come up. That was a bleak hope, though, as she was surrounded by people who only survived by being extremely observant. “Because he couldn’t,” Layne answered quietly. “Just like I knew absolutely nothing about robotics or mechanical engineering or any of that until last week.”

Tony squinted his eyes at her and chewed on the little patch of hair on his bottom lip. “Care to expand on that?” he retorted.

“As soon as Ava List attached this enhancer to my brain it was like it caused a neuro-sync with Daniel. If you closed all the blinds I could probably disappear into the shadows like he can. But I can tell you that he’s baking under the lights you’re pouring into his room, how he’s slowly going insane because he can’t sleep because of them. I know what you’re feeding him every day, I can feel that he’s chewed his fingernails down to the quick and has resorted on chewing on his skin around them, and I know that he’s planning his escape even though it’s futile. As soon as I looked at that android I knew exactly how he built it, I knew what was important, what to remove so it can’t be activated, that Thor only did artificial damage and that it was a ticking time bomb until I pulled that chip out,” Layne’s chest was heaving as she worked herself up to a panic attack. It was Bucky’s hand reaching across the table and wrapping around her wrist that gave her something to anchor to and calm down.

The team looked at her with dropped jaws and wide eyes, Layne flushed and covered her eyes with her hand to block them out.

“So  you gained each other’s extra abilities?” Natasha asked, trying to wrap her head around everything.

Layne lowered her hand and chewed on her bottom lip in thought. “It…doesn’t feel like an extra ability? It feels like it was supposed to be something I could do and that he could do…we just I don’t know…learned our abilities differently?” Layne tried to explain.

“Like a video game,” Sam piped up. “You have the same skill tree, but you both went down different branches of it, but once you have the skill points there’s no reason you can’t unlock that branch.”

Layne nodded. “Yeah. Exactly. It’s like we combined our skill points.”

“This means that Daniel has knowledge of everything we’ve been working on in the lab. The super solider serum, my problem with the big guy, even data on the blood that Loki donated,” Bruce commented, looking worried. Layne sighed and nodded in confirmation. “Can you…delete…memories?” Bruce asked.

Layne shrugged. “Like extract a memory permanently?” She thought back to her ex-boyfriend back home, how he followed her around for months showing up at her apartment and work until she had basically wiped herself from the grid. Until he found her again and she snapped, delving into his mind and pulling out every memory of their time together and destroying it. She thought about him sitting in the mental health ward at the hospital as he drooled down his shirt. Maybe it was the sheer quantity, taking out two years worth of memories, or maybe it was her erratic emotional state when she did it either way she wasn’t looking to repeat it.

“I can, but it’s too risky,” Layne conceded. “I’ve done it once, the results were less than satisfactory.”

Bucky studied Layne’s face carefully, watching the emotions flick through her eyes with her recollection. He watched as she picked her words, Bucky didn’t know if she had always been so flippant or if this was a new development to her personality. His gaze flickered over to Susanna who didn’t seem concerned in how Layne was acting so he chocked it up to just another aspect of Layne he wasn’t familiar with. Layne had this way of skirting around her truths, she never lied but would never go out of her way to give details unless pressed. It was something that Tony had noticed months ago with her, always demanding her to ‘expand’ or ‘explain further’ and she usually would without a second thought. It just made Bucky wonder into her past, what had happened that Layne only ever spoke in halves?

Layne could feel Bucky’s eyes locked on her, his gaze burning into the side of her face as she talked to Bruce and Tony. She clenched her jaw in discomfort and finished the last bit of her applesauce before flicking her gaze to his. Her caramel eyes were rimmed with amber fire and Bucky quickly looked away, knowing he’d been caught.

“When do I get to see Danny?” Layne asked suddenly, setting her spoon down gently.

Bucky and Steve looked at each other, Steve then turned to Tony who shrugged. “Whenever you want, Layne,” Steve answered softly.

Layne stood, pushing her chair back. “Excellent. He’s in lock up five, right?” She turned and strutted off without waiting for confirmation. Bucky immediately stood and glared at Steve before rushing off after her.

Thor clapped his hands on the table, a broad smile taking over his face. “So, Lady Susanna. About that battle?”

~*~

Bucky rushed into the elevator with Layne before the doors closed. “What do you think you’re doing?” Bucky asked more harshly than he meant to. Layne’s face bunched up and she took a deep breath before answering carefully, her tone clipped.

“Going down to see my brother. What are you doing?”

Bucky slammed the emergency stop button on the elevator and Layne sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the railing. She was preparing herself for the lecture that she was sure was coming. Layne knew she did herself a disservice by locking herself away in her room because now everyone was treating her like fragile glass. Which she kind of felt like, but at the same time she was determined to stay glued together and just be normal functioning glass. Or maybe just chipped, relatively okay glass.

What she did not expect was for Bucky to cradle her face with his hands and crash his lips into hers. The taste and feel of him immediately overwhelmed her senses, she unfolded her arms and grabbed onto his waist, pulling him flush against herself as she opened her mouth to him to taste him further. Bucky kissed her desperately, holding onto her for dear life like he was afraid she would disappear. Layne let Bucky take control, his tongue brushing against hers and his thumbs sweeping over her cheekbones. He slid his flesh hand up and tangled itself in her hair, his metal hand sliding down her body to rest at her hip. Bucky pulled away, realizing they both needed to breath, but bit softly at her bottom lip with his departure.

“I have never been so afraid in my life,” Bucky said suddenly, his voice deep and rough. He opened his ice blue eyes to stare deep into Layne’s warm brown ones; he held onto her like a life line, as his eyes roved her face memorizing every line, freckle, and scar. The way her lips were red and swollen from him and the way her blood had rushed to her cheeks in surprise, how silky her hair felt in his fingers and how warm her skin was beneath his metal thumb as it traced up under the hem of her shirt.

“Of the elevator?” Layne asked dumbly, her brain failing to catch back up after the sudden attack of one James Buchanan Barnes.

“Of losing you. Of not being able to tell you I’m an idiot and ask you to go on a date with me. Of never being able to kiss you again. Of not getting a chance to try to do something right for the first time in a really long time.”

Layne took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah, but you found me.”

“Because of you. We were failing at every corner, I don’t want to fail when it comes to you.” Bucky removed his hands from Layne and set them on the railing on either side of her and taking half a step back so that he could lean down and rest his forehead on Layne’s shoulder.

Layne reached up and threaded her fingers through Bucky’s hair, fiddling with the hair band absentmindedly. “Bucky…I am less afraid of anything Hydra can do to me than I am of hurting you. Of fucking this entire thing up so horribly you’d never look at me again,” Layne confessed, her heart aching in her chest. “I’m like a poison when it comes to relationships.”

Bucky turned his head so his face was pressed against Layne’s neck, he inhaled the soft blackberry and vanilla scent of her body wash and the mango of her shampoo, she basically always smelled like a smoothie and it was one of his favourite things. “You can’t poison a relationship, doll. I adore you exactly as you are. I just want to be allowed to be the person that gets to watch you go and become the greatest, truest version of yourself. Because I think you’re swell and beautiful and strong and I would be beside myself if I got to call you my girl.”

Layne’s heart was pounding in her chest at his proclamation. Everyone in her life had always tried to change her, to mold her into their perfect idea of Layne Marie Hardin. No one had ever said ‘I think you’re exactly how you should be’, not even close. She was never smart enough, or pretty enough, or thin enough, or witty enough. And here was this broken boy soldier telling her that she was swell. Tears fell from Layne’s eyes unbidden and Bucky felt them hit his nose causing him to look up with worry.

“Doll?”

“You’re just the bees knees, James Barnes,” Layne said with a watery chuckle, swiping at her cheeks with the back of her hands.

Bucky looked at her unsure and swiped his thumbs under her eyes to knock the tears off her eyelashes. “Is that you saying you’re going to be my girl or you making fun of me?”

Layne let out a full laugh this time and stretched up to kiss Bucky softly on the lips. “Both. You’re a real stand up guy.”

Bucky blushed furiously and kissed her back, trying to keep the corners of his mouth curving up. “Shut up, Layne.”

“Hey, guys. Whatever is happening is cute and all, but other people need to use the elevator. So if you don’t get this tin box moving I’m going to have FRIDAY over ride it.” Tony voice sounded through the little speaker on the wall of the elevator and Layne smirked, reaching around Bucky to hit the emergency stop button and get the elevator moving again.

NEXT CHAPTER

[marvelousbirthdays]

Happy Birthday, celiaequus!

June 9 - "Is that a challenge?" with Peggy/Phil for @celiaequus

Written by @kathryn-claire-oconnor

Sequel to this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8071669

In retrospect, Phil realized he shouldn’t have been surprised that Romanoff knew he was alive; she was a master spy, after all, she had her ways. He wasn’t surprised at all by the fact that Romanoff had told Barton he was alive; partners did that sort of thing in his experience.

He was, however, shocked when Barton showed up on base in the middle of the night and gave him a shot of some sort of sedative without a word.

The next thing Phil knew, he was waking up in a dim, rambling basement. Clint was pacing in front of him, Tony Stark was perched on a nearby metal box, and yet Phil’s first thought was still to be glad that he wasn’t tied to the chair in which he found himself.

“…gone at a decent hour,” Stark was saying.

“No,” Clint shot back. “I wanted to see for myself, and this was the best way to do it, given… everything.”

Stark mumbled something unintelligible.

Phil raised his head slowly, blinking rapidly to try and shake off the last of whatever Clint had given him. “You know, you could’ve just asked me nicely, Clint, to come with you.”

Two stony glares turned onto him the moment he spoke. “Good, you’re awake,” Clint said briskly. “Believe it or not, this is a courtesy call. We need to borrow your engineer. I’ve heard that he might help us without it getting back to the ‘proper authorities’ if you’re involved. We want to try and go through you instead of… you know, kidnapping an unsuspecting Scotsman.”

“That’s it?” Phil decided not to add a snarky “You mean like you’ve just kidnapped me? “No ‘hi, Phil, how are you?’”

Clint’s glare flickered, but didn’t disappear. “Hi, Phil. How are you? Can we please borrow your scientist?”

“Dr. Fitz isn’t ‘my’ anything. What do you need him for, anyway?”

Stark looked at Clint, who ground his teeth and looked towards the wall for a moment before saying, “Nat’s missing.”

Phil raised his eyebrows. “She’s the Black Widow, and, last time I checked, on the run from the law. Of course no one can find her.”

“No, you don’t understand. She’s missing. Nat and I have ways to stay in contact, always have. Even during the fight over the Accords, she checked on Laura and the kids even if she didn’t talk to me. She’s not flying under the radar, Coulson, she’s gone.”

“And what does that have to do with Fitz?”

“Because,” Stark spoke up. “The very last place my cameras picked her up was right by this baby.”

He patted the machine he was sitting on, and Clint winced at him, demanding, “Get off that, will you? Or do you want to set it off again?”

Stark stood on his own two feet. Phil glanced  between them, asking in confusion, “You mean Natasha was hiding out here?”

“Just for a night,” Stark answered quickly. “She was supposed to be gone by morning… and she was.”

“Which was why no one thought anything of it,” Clint took up the story. “Until Laura and I didn’t hear from her for a month. That’s not normal. Phil, you know we – especially the kids – are important to her. She wouldn’t just not make contact unless something was seriously wrong. So I started trying to trace her steps, to figure out where she’d gone, and I only got as far as that machine.”

Phil stood up slowly, moving towards the box as he asked, “What is it, exactly?”

Tony sighed, rubbed the back of his neck. “Good question. It’s one of my dad’s projects from way back when, and I can’t figure out how to get it to work… how to do what I need it to, that is.”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning I can get it to work in a way. I can turn it on and it… sucks things into it – little bits and pieces of machinery or whatever I put in front of it before I push the button. But no one can get it to spit anything back out, and we don’t know where all of the stuff is going.”

“Meaning you think it sucked Natasha in, but you don’t know how to get her back?”

Clint nodded. “That’s where we were hoping Dr. Fitz could come in.”

“I don’t know,” Phil hummed, crouching down in front of the machine and running his fingertips over the button Stark had indicated.

He shouldn’t have done that while still uncoordinated from the sedative, apparently, because he pushed the stupid button harder than he’d meant to. Clint jumped forward, Stark shouted, and the next thing Phil knew there was a flash of light and different people were shouting.

He was not happy about waking up in a strange place for the second time in an hour.

“Phil?”

Arms shoved underneath his shoulders and helped to lift him into a sitting position, and he opened his eyes to see that he had, somehow, managed to screw up so well that something had gone right. He’d found Natasha. She was wearing clothes and a hairstyle that looked like they were straight from the ‘40s, but it was definitely Natasha.

“Phil? Are you okay?”

He nodded shakily. He felt disoriented, kind of like what he imagined travelling by Bifrost must feel like, but fine. “Barton’s looking for you. I was,” he smirked self-depreciatingly. “Supposed to help him find you, I think.”

Natasha sat back on her heels, looking startled. “Clint wanted to find me so badly he dragged you into it?”

“Wants,” Phil corrected. “He still wants to find you, Nat. Of course he does. He’s even got Tony helping him.”

Natasha shot him a sharp look, ordering, “Shut up about him.”

She tilted her head ever so subtly towards the man standing a step or two behind her. Phil looked up into the man’s eyes and was surprised to recognize him, if from that feature alone. “Howa-?!”

“Howard, Nat?! What’s going on in here?! Is everyone okay?”

A brunette came around the corner, clicking heels in a ‘40s pantsuit and bright red nail polish. Another pair of eyes that Phil recognized from pictures only – because they were set in a much younger face than he ever should’ve encountered face to face.

He began to feel sick to his stomach in a way that had nothing to do with his sudden change of location. “Where are we?” he asked sharply.

Natasha drew in a breath, replying, “I think the question you mean to ask is ‘when are we’?”

“And the answer to that question,” Peggy Carter approached him with something akin to pity in her eyes. “Is ‘1948.’”

Phil looked around quicker than was probably wise. He felt something pull in his neck as he caught sight of a much newer version of the metal box Tony had been sitting on. “Fix that thing. You,” he pointed at Howard Stark. “Fix your machine.” He scrambled to his feet, ignoring Natasha as she put her hand on his arm.

He stepped entirely around her, ordering Stark, Sr. “You fix your machine or I will maim you so that you will never make anything ever again.”

“No, you won’t,” Natasha interjected. There was a tone in her voice that Phil wasn’t sure he’d ever heard before, but he elected to ignore it as Peggy stepped further into the room and leaned against one of Stark’s worktables.

Snorting, the brunette announced, “I doubt you’d be able to overpower both Nat and I if push came to shove.”

Normally Phil would’ve agreed. Normally he would’ve recognized his soulmark words when he heard them.

Panicking because you’d been subjected to time travel made things seem pretty not normal, and he took another step towards Stark, snapping – at Peggy Carter – “Is that a challenge?”

“No!” Natasha snapped at him, stepping into his personal space as she hissed quietly, “We both know I have some very good reasons to dislike you right now; do not add another one to that list. Howard Stark is my soulmate, and you will not hurt him. He’s been working on that time machine for months without being threatened; there’s no reason to start now. Got it?”

Natasha was on the short side of average height, her hair was curled to softly frame her face, and her makeup, too, was done conservatively. She was even wearing a skirt! But her expression said more than her appearance, and Phil wasn’t fooled. She was still Natasha Romanoff, and it was in his best interests to agree with her, so he did.

He wasn’t sure exactly what he was agreeing with, though. His mind had caught on a realization at the word “soulmate,” his gaze had swung to Peggy, and it had stayed there. She had become as pale and baffled as he was, and Phil had a feeling that was saying something right now.

“Soulmate…?” Phil muttered under his breath.

“Yes, sir,” Stark stepped forward. “I…”

“No, not you,” Peggy cut him off without looking away from Phil. “Me.”

Natasha looped her arm through Stark’s, suspicion welling in her eyes as she asked Peggy, “You what?”

“She’s my soulmate,” Phil bluntly answered for her, seeing the way she was struggling to find the words.

“Oh, Peg…” Stark groaned empathetically, and when Phil glanced at Natasha he saw the same empathy in her eyes even if she said nothing.

He chose to focus on his soulmate instead. “My name is Phil Coulson.”

“Peggy Carter,” she answered with a tremulous smile, reaching out to shake his hand.

He gripped it firmly, informing her, “You probably shouldn’t ask why, but I’m a really big fan of yours.”

She drew in a breath. “I suppose that’s a start for something, isn’t it?”

Unspoken was the fact that, given their circumstances, they were going to have to take what they could get when it came to their relationship – even little pronouncements like his.

“Howard?” Her gaze shifted suddenly to her friend. “How long do you think it could take you to fix your machine?”

“I have no idea.” He glanced from Natasha to Phil, admitting, “I can’t say I’m always one hundred percent devoted to the idea of getting it up and running again.”

Phil thought of his team, of Tony and the Bartons, then looked back at Peggy. “I… think that’s okay for a little while.”

They were no longer shaking hands, but she hadn’t released his hand yet either. Peggy squeezed it now, a quick gesture just for the two of them, and, giving her a small smile, Phil held on for as long as she’d let him.

[podcastcoach]

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

Seventy percent of people have impostor syndrome. While an interesting stat, that doesn't really help people who have impostor syndrome get over it. Today I have 12 strategies to help overcome Impostor syndrome

Because of My Podcast: I Got A Custom Wrestling Mat

01:26

Jason Bryan of www.mattalkonline.com shares the story how one of the top manufacturers of wrestling mats made a custom wrestling mat with Jason's Logo and microphone. HOW COOL IS THAT? You can hear more about how Jason is now doing podcasting as a career at http://schoolofpodcasting.com/jason-bryant-turned-his-experience-into-a-career-in-podcasting/

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We All Feed Like Imposters

Seth Godin wrote in The Icarus Deception that after a dozen bestsellers he still feels like a fraud all the time

"The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: 'I'm a fraud! Oh God, they're on to me! I'm a fraud!' So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud." – Tina Fey

"Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can't do this. I'm a fraud." – Kate Winslett

"I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out.' " – Maya Angelou

Jodie Foster was interviewed for the television show ‘60 Minutes’ she revealed how she feared she'd have to give back her Oscar after being voted best actor for her role in ‘The Accused’. “I thought it was a fluke,” she said in the interview. “I thought everybody would find out and they'd take the Oscar back. They'd come to my house, knocking on the door, ‘Excuse me, we meant to give that to someone else. That was going to Meryl Streep.'”

Ken Burns interviewed Meryl Streep, the most frequently nominated Academy Award and Golden Globe actor in history, she revealed her own insecurities "You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don't know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?’”

If We are All Imposters - Than None of Us Are Imposters

I had a niece who for a while started to dress in a "Goth" style. The idea was she didn't want to look like everyone else. The problem was, "Goth" started to be cool. Soon, everybody started dressing Goth, and the result of "standing out" no longer was a byproduct of dressing Goth. If you are sitting there thinking, "I could never be like _____," guess what? That person is sitting there thinking the same thing too.

The only thing that separates you from anyone else in the world is time and effort. Anything that anyone else can do, you can do. It’s impossible to feel like an impostor once you accept that everyone else is an impostor too.

Imposter Syndrome Cycle

In the book, The Imposter Syndrome Remedy Dr. Estcio talks about an Imposter Syndrom Cycle. This cycle shows often that imposter syndrome leads to two responses:

Crippling Fear

Overworking

You are either crippled by fear which leads you to procrastinate. The second possibility is you are driven by fear of failure and you overwork. When you complete the task it may bring temporary relief. However, when it is time to evaluate performance, limiting beliefs associated with Imposter Syndrome may arise: If procrastination led to a successful outcome, then success is considered a fluke (“I was lucky things worked out in the end!”). If over-preparation led to success, then it reinforces the belief that working extra hard is needed, otherwise, there is no chance of success (“I’m not good at this. I just worked really hard.”). Thus, successful outcomes do not bring satisfaction. It only increases self-doubt, worry, and anxiety, with the thought that when either “luck” or “excessive hard work” wears off, they will finally be exposed as the incompetent fraud that they really are. And then, the cycle repeats itself. See The Imposter Syndrome Remedy by Dr E V Estacio.

Strategies to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

You feel like a fraud because of this huge opportunity that has been put in your lap. Maybe, it's not quite as important as you think. It's important to you, but you're not curing AIDS. It doesn't have to be perfect

You have had some successes in the past. You've done hard things in the past. Think of the hardest thing you have to overcome. You did it. You're still here. Don't ignore your successes.

DO NOT compare yourself to THAT person. There are always people "better" than you and people worse. You are never as good as your best review or as bad as your worst.

You are not defined by your mistakes. The "I must not fail mentality" can be crippling.

There is one person who really needs your message

Not everyone will like you, and that is OK.

Credentials don't always mean what you think they do.

Find one person you know and trust and let them know you feel like a fraud

Instead of saying, "I don't know anything" say, "I don’t know everything...yet. I’m still learning."

Yes, there is luck and timing, but there is also talent, dedication, and charisma.

While your feelings are real, this does not mean they are accurate.

Quit focusing on you, and instead focus on your audience and how you will deliver value.

  I'm Not Ready

I do not have children, but I know many people who do and in some cases, they got pregnant before "they were ready." Some got pregnant when the thought they were ready, but found out later they were nowhere near ready. Yet, their kids are fine. You’re never going to be ready. Act anyway. Acting before you are ready is like a penicillin shot for Impostor Syndrome. It helps you build up immunity against the Syndrome. The more you act before you’re ready, the more you’ll realize that you’re never really ready for anything. But neither is anyone else.

I Wonder What That Tastes Like

Maybe you are trying the new Keto diet. You see a keto recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies. It looks good. You see the ingredients and you have them. There is only one way to know if this recipe tastes good. You have to make the recipe.

The only way to really see something is to do it. You have to experience it. Reading about other people’s failures and successes only go so far. Sooner or later you have to start succeeding and failing first-first hand.

I'm Not That Good At It

So you record your first podcast and listen back and thinking, "Ugh, I'm not that good." You know what? You're not as bad as you think, but you are right there is room for improvement. There is always room for improvement.  Instead of saying to yourself, "I'm not that good. I shouldn't do this." Try, "I am not very good at this yet, but I will continue to learn and adapt as I go."

I Need to Know More Before I Get Started

You do NOT need to know everything. You probably have more than enough knowledge to get going. Instead of saying, "I don't know enough," say "I don't know everything but I will use what I know to learn more as I go." With that said, know this: Don't use soundlcoud.com, anchor.fm, squarespace.com (for a media host), or a Blue Yeti (there are better, less expensive options).

But I'm Scared

Being afraid has times when it's very handy. Fear is good when you are face to face with a bear. Fear is good when you are on the edge of a cliff. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen?"

You might answer:

"I will be embarrassed." To this, I say nobody is listening to your show when you first start out. The odds of running into someone you are not related to that has actually heard your show are minimal. When I looked up the definition of embarrassed it said to be disconcerted. When I looked up disconcerted it said "ruffled." I hear to get don't get ruffled. I have said things in my podcasts that I'm really surprised did not have negative side effects, but they didn't.

I was scared my first day of JR High, of SR. High, but I walked through the doors anyway. So say to yourself "Yes, I’m scared, but I’ll get on with it anyway."

The Bright Side of Failure

Failure is fun. Think of it that way. If you’re failing, you’re doing it. You’re real. You can’t be fake and fail at the same time. And failure will eventually lead to victory. Failure is the only way to get to victory and it’s the only way to enjoy it because you can only enjoy something once you’ve tasted the opposite.

I leave near an amusement park called Cedar Point. It has tons of super spooky roller coasters. Some people refuse to get on them as they are often the tallest, fastest, spookiest coaster in the US if not the world. To ride these, you have to stand in line. This is often a long line. Some people get bored and leave the line. Other tough it out, and they get on the ride, strap themselves in and after waiting an hour (or more) in line, the ride lasts 30 seconds and you get off the ride thinking, "It was OK."  You make a mental note, and you know to the only ride that ride if the line is short.

With podcasting you are either going to have some positive outcomes or a story (which is also a positive outcome)

Just because you failed, doesn’t mean that you are a fraud. It only means that you are willing to do something, even if it means risking failure.

Another great book I read was Beyond Imposter Syndrome: Proven strategies for building confidence and finally feeling ‘good enough.

What will happen if you never change?

Podcasting leads to relationships which lead to opportunities. If you have a message, and a drive to reach people, you are missing at an opportunity to invest in yourself. There is NO WAY you start a podcast without learning something about yourself. Granted, one of the things you may learn is you hate podcasting, but I doubt it.

Update on Radio Public

Last week I talked about Radio Public. This is an app that pays you $20 per 1000 downloads as well as a $1 bonus for people who start to use their app. You can see what their player looks like and more at www.schoolofpodcasting.com/radiopublic I received an update:

"Thanks for the follow-up and for highlighting RadioPublic in your latest episode.

That's correct, right now only listens within the RadioPublic apps count toward Paid Listens. We’ll eventually include web listens down the road. The web presents some tough fraud detection problems we aren’t yet ready to address.

You raised a great point on being able to combine earnings across podcasters or within networks for multiple shows. I shared this with Matt MacDonald our Chief Product Officer to see what's possible.

We also recently expanded the guidelines of the program for shows to have their own sponsorships and still participate. The language on the site will likely be updated in the coming weeks but for now I at least wanted to pass along the update knowing there was a concern you brought up about one of your episodes including a midroll spot.

Let me know if any other questions come up. Paid Listens is just the first step in our efforts to transform the podcast marketplace, making it much easier for podcasters to make money for their work. We’re currently prototyping ways for listeners to directly support the podcasters they love. Would you be interested in talking with Matt about this?

We’ve updated our FAQ to address some of the questions and concerns discussed during the episode. Thank you for taking such a deep dive test run and pointing these out! We don’t touch the audio files by inserting ads into an episode, rather we place the ad spot before and/or after an episode - bookending it. (Updated here in our FAQ) The Loyal Listener bonus is a part of the Paid Listens payout, so with only 24 Loyal Listeners a podcaster would be eligible for the $25 minimum threshold for payout. (We updated this FAQ with clearer language around this as well as the math to get a podcaster to that understanding.) We also updated our “How do I get paid?” FAQ with clarification on what a podcaster can expect once their show is ready for a payout.

Hopefully we’ll get the chance to meet in a couple weeks at Podcast Movement.

Cheers, Joshua Rae

July Question of the Month

Do you have an email list, if so how big is it? What do you use? What strategies? If you send an email, please record something and attach it  (And use JULY QUESTION) as the headline. You can also call in your answer 888-563-3228 (don't forget to mention your show and website) The deadline is 7/27/18

Mentioned In This Podcast

Podcast Envy

Food Craftsmen

www.schoolofpodcasting.com/radiopublic

The Imposter Syndrome Remedy

Beyond Imposter Syndrome: Proven strategies for building confidence and finally feeling ‘good enough

  Ready to Start a Podcast?

I would love to work with you. Please visit www.schoolofpodcasting.com/workwithme

Check out this episode!

[gryphon1911]

© Ricoh Imaging

Background

There are TONS of cameras out there...some you might not even realize. One of these relative unknowns is from a relatively well known camera maker, Pentax.  The diminutive Q series cameras.  At the time of release, the Q series camera was the smallest interchangable lens system on the market.  Not sure if that is true anymore...but this camera system is tiny. I have seen a few online friends that used this system and was impressed by the IQ coming from this small 1/1.7" sensor. Initial cost of these cameras new precluded me from experimenting then...but with some online sluething and patience, you can now get this system for a fraction of what it cost new. I was lucky enough to find a whole system for sale.   The Pentax Q7 in black and silver with 4 lenses will be the focus of this review. Follow along to see what we thought of the IQ, the handling, the good/bad of this little system. Here we go!

© Ricoh Imaging

Handling/Weight/Size

This is a small camera.  Captain Obvious has just entered the room.  We already covered that in the opening of this article...but it bears mentioning again.   I've got some pretty meaty hands and I need something to grip.  My smallest camera that I feel I can hold comfortably for serious photography is an Olympus EM5 style body. So, even though I knew there was a risk that I might not be able to handle this camera body well, I gave it a try. Yes, it is very small.  My basic grip on this camera body is index finger on the shutter release with the thumb on the small bump on the back.   My middle finger fits into 90% of the front grip, ring finger barely sits at the bottom.  Most of the time it slips off the bottom.  I wish they made an add on grip for it.  Another inch or 2 at the bottom would be just awesome. It's almost too small to hold with one hand if you needed to do that.   I end up using a wrist strap and my left hand. Even with the small camera, the buttons are in a good location.  The rear dial is easy to get to with the thumb.  The mode dial has enough resistence that you will most likely not bump it out of position.  I never did so far through my testing. Here are some camera dimensions for you: Body dimensions: 4x2.3x1.3 inches Weight 7.1 ounces (200g) with battery As compared to an Olympus EM5 Mk II Body dimensions:  4.9x3.4x1.8 inches Weight: 16.5 ounces (469g) with battery and a Nikon D500 Body dimensions:  5.79x4.53x3.19 inches Weight:  30.34 ounces (860g) with battery

front view of cameras (camerasize.com)

Top view with kit lenses (camerasize.com) Pentax 5-15/2.8-4.5, Olympus 14-42, Nikon 18-55 AF-P

Pentax had a great idea when it came to the battery and SD card door.  They are both on the side of the camera, each on the opposite side of the body.  SD card door is on the right, battery on the left.

Notable Features 1 The Front Dial

Similar to what you might see on the Olympus PEN-F, there is a front dial with 5 positions.

The front dial can be used for a few functions.  You can have custom image modes like B&W , portrait, bright, etc. set to the 4 positions.  If you create a user defined custome image mode(you can save 3), you can use them here too.  Other options are toggling the built in ND filter, aspect ration, focus method, focus peaking. Unfortunately, those options are not allowed to be mixed together.  For example, I cannot use the first 2 positions for custom image and the last 2 to toggle the ND filter off/on.  It's either all custom image settings or all ND toggles.  This is a shame that you are limited in this way.  A great idea, but not taken to a logical conclusion. Not 100% sure what I will settle on for this feature.

Notable Features 2 Bokeh Control

On the mode dial, there is the lettering "BC".  This is for bokeh control.  There are 3 levels of control, each blurring more and more.   I found through my cursory testing that 2 and 3 are way too much.  1 worked just fine.

Basically you have 24-211mm field of view covered here in this little kit.

Notable Features 3 RAW In The Buffer When Shooting JPG

This one shocked and delighted me.  WHY IS EVERYONE NOT DOING THIS?!  Basically, what this camera does is when shooting JPG only in camera, the Q keeps the last images RAW data in the buffer.  It is accessible to you where you can go in, save it, do in camera RAW processing on it. Think about how awesome and cool that is.  Say you are shooting JPG and the last shot you took is pushing the capabilities of the sensor and JPG bit depth.   Press the image review button check out the shot.  Look to the right and you'll see that by pressng the exposure comp button, you have the option to save the RAW file.

Image Quality

The 1/1.7" sensor can get a lot of heat from some people.  Yes...it is small.  Yes, it doesn't have the dynamic range...it is "only" a 12mp sensor. However, Pentax has done quite a good job in processing from this little camera.   Shooting JPG and for color images, I don't like going over ISO 1600  For monochrome, I'm OK all the way up to ISO 3200.  Even with that, the processing that Pentax does is not really for me.  The colors are not to my liking and even with sharpness turned down some, there is some artifacting that just looks bad. RAW gives you a lot more latitude and you can run the Adobe DNG files in Lightroom or your processor of choice and really get the most out of those files.  I experimented quite a bit and found  good recipe in Lightroom that I feel gives me superior IQ over the in camera JPG engine. We'll provide plenty of sample images in the lens section below.  Bottom line - I'll be shooting this camera in RAW all the time.  It's the best way to get he most quality that appeals to me.  You can get way more quality out of this camera than it has any business producing.

Shake Reduction

This tiny little camera has in body stabilization.  Pentax calls it SR for shake reduction.  It works fairly well.  Not in the same league as an Olympus 5 axis IBIS or Nikon's newest VR....but it will save your bacon in a pinch.  It's just nice to see it included. I'm not sure if it only kicks in when you depress the shutter or not.   On longer lenses, the LCD seems shakier than I think it should...but I'll have to do more research into it.

Auto Focus

I found that the other reviewers of this camera were right.   In good light, the AF is effective and relatively quick.  It is not going to beat a current Micro Four Thirds camera, but on the whole it will not disappoint for most applications.  Stick to S-AF and you are good to go.   I'd ignore C-AF. You have multiple focus modes. Face - face detection Continuous - AF tracking of subjects Spot - the AF is locked to the middle of the frame Auto - you select the size of the focus area, of which there are 3 sizes, and the camera determines what in this area to lock onto.  It actually does a fairly good job at this. Select - the AF box(small area) can be moved by first pressing the OK button and then using the direction buttons on the back to move it.  The AF array does not cover the whole sensor, so you will see your boundaries by a thin black box on the back of the LCD.

Manual Focus

Your typical focus by wire affair.  I'm not  big fan of this and the very small focus rings don't help it much here.   However, MF is there should you need it.  Pentax also included a menu option to allow for full time AF override just by turning the focus ring.  I had to turn this off as I found just the slightest of touches would throw you into MF mode.

Battery Life

With the body being so small, you have a limited space for a big battery.  CIPA ratings on this camera body are 250 shots.   I doubt most people would get that, having to rely on the rear LCD for everything is going to churn through some battery pretty quickly.  I recommend getting a few extras. During a day long shooting session, I made it through 3/4 of a day and came home with 280 images.  That was shooting RAW+JPG, image review and changing camera settings.   Technically one could say thatit took double that number, one RAW and one JPG.   I'm going to run the camera another day and shoot just RAW to see the number of shots I can get.  All in all, for the size of the battery and the fact that it needs to use the 3" LCD for everything, not that bad.

Video

Nothing really special here.  An standard 1080p offering.  This would not be my first option, and to be honest a modern cell phone will probably do just as well if not better since they do 4k.  The benefit of this system is the ability to use lenses, which a cell phone lacks.

The Lenses

The Q7 has a "crop factor" of 4.7, so multiply the focal length by this number to get the approximate field of view (FOV) of these lenses. The lens numbers denote the order in which they were released, field of view on a 135 equivalent is in parenthesis below. 8.5mm f/1.9 - The 01 Standard Prime  (40mm) 5-15mm f/2.8-4.5 - The 02 Standard Zoom (24-70mm) 15-45mm f/2.8 - The 06 Telephoto Zoom (70-212mm) 11.5mm f/9 - The 07 Shield Lens - body cap lens (55mm) The real jewel here is the original kit lens, the 8.5/1.9.  Sharp and fast.  What fits into the theme...it's tiny.   The 07 Shield lens is smaller, but not in the same league. So let's get into the images from these lenses.   Most of these shots were shot wide open as well.   Diffraction is going to hit pretty quickly if you go much past f/5.6, so shooting from f/1.9 through f/4.5 is where I stayed most of the time. We'll start with some images from the 01 Standard Prime, 8.5mm f/1.9.  This lens is excellent optically.  Very sharp even wide open.

8.5mm f/1.9 lens (01 Prime) 1/60, f/2.8, ISO 250

8.5mm f/1.9 lens (01 Prime) 1/80, f/1.9, ISO 200

8.5mm f/1.9 lens (01 Prime) 1/2000, f/1.9, ISO 100

8.5mm f/1.9 lens (01 Prime) Higher ISO Example (B&W conversion in On1 Effects 2018 1/60, f/1.9, ISO 2000

Then let's move to the 02 Standard Zoom, the 5-15mm f/2.8-4.5.   Given some of the online reports, I was expecting this lens to be quite a disappointment.  On the contrary, it is rather quite good and a bit better than I anticipated.  It is true that it is weakest at 15mm, but very good up through 12mm.

5-15mm f/2.8-4.5 (02 Standard Zoom) 1/500, f/2.8, ISO 200 @ 5.5mm B&W processed in Nik Silver Efex Pro 2 from RAW

5-15mm f/2.8-4.5 (02 Standard Zoom) 1/250, f/3.5, ISO 200 @ 9.5mm

5-15mm f/2.8-4.5 (02 Standard Zoom) 1/60, f/4, ISO 125 @ 8.2mm

5-15mm f/2.8-4.5 (02 Standard Zoom) 1/200, f/4, ISO 100 @ 9.8mm

5-15mm f/2.8-4.5 (02 Standard Zoom) 1/200, f/3.5, ISO 100 @ 9.8mm

The shield lens, 07 - 11.5mm f/9.  Not sure when I would ever use this lens outside of this testing.  I was not fond of this lens.   Unless you are super into lomo type photography I'd skip this lens.  Here are some samples.

11.5mm f/9 (07 Shield Lens) 1/60, f/9, ISO 125

11.5mm f/9 (07 Shield Lens) 1/60, f/9, ISO 320

11.5mm f/9 (07 Shield Lens) 1/60, f/9, ISO 125

11.5mm f/9 (07 Shield Lens) 1/60, f/9, ISO 250

11.5mm f/9 (07 Shield Lens) 1/125, f/9, ISO 100

The constant f/2.8 Telephoto Lens, the 06 15-45mm f/2.8.  Not the optical equivalent of the 01 Prime, but very good.   The constant f/2.8 is a great option to have for this 70-200-ish FOV lens.

15-45mm f/2.8 (06 Telephoto Zoom) 1/2500, f/2.8, ISO 100 @ 45mm

15-45mm f/2.8 (06 Telephoto Zoom) 1/200, f/4, ISO 160 @ 45mm

15-45mm f/2.8 (06 Telephoto Zoom) 1/2500, f/4, ISO 100 @ 15.1mm

15-45mm f/2.8 (06 Telephoto Zoom) 1/125, f/2.8, ISO 320 @ 22mm

15-45mm f/2.8 (06 Telephoto Zoom) 1/400, f/2.8, ISO 200 @ 15mm Through some dirty coffee shop glass

Other Misc. Items of Note

Shutter Sound: The shutter sound is quiet, mainly because for most of the Q lenses, the shutter is of the leaf variety and found within the lens itself. The leaf shutter handles everything up through 1/2000 of a second and any shutter speed higher than that is handled by an electronic shutter to 1/8000 of a second. A second benefit of the leaf shutter in some of the lenses is that you get flash sync up to 1/2000.  You can go full electronic if you wish or the camera can determine when to use the either. Built in Neutral Density (ND) Filter: Some lenses contain an ND filter built into them.  Useful for when you run out of shutter speed or if you do not want to use the electronic shutter above 1/2000. Quick Menu: If you are familiar with Fuji's Quick menu, Olympus' Super Control Panel (SCP) or the Nikon MyMenu...this is the Pentax version.   Just about any shooting option you want to get to quickly is here.  Just press the INFO button on the back of the camera when in shooting mode to bring up the grid.

TOP ROW Option 1 is the custom image selection. Here you can pick the type of jpg you want like natural, monochrome, cross process and tweak them. Option 2 is Digital Filter. Options here are things like Toy Camera, high contrast, tone expansion, fish eye, etc. Option 3 is in camera HDR. Option 4 and 5 are highlight and shadow control respectively. MIDDLE ROW Option 1 is metering - matrix, center and spot weighted. Option 2 is toggling on/off the in built ND filter(if the lens has that). Option 3 is toggle between AF and MF. Option 4 handles the focusing methods.  Face, continuous, auto, select (movable single AF point) and spot (single center focused AF point - not movable). Option 5 is the focus peaking toggle. BOTTOM ROW Option 1 is toggle for lens distortion correction. Option 2 is aspect ratio. Options are 4:3, 3:2, 1:1 and 16:9. Option 3 is image save format.  JPG, RAW or RAW+JPG. Option 4 is the JPG quality. Option 5 toggles shake reduction.

Bottom Line

This is not a camera for everyone, and you may be thinking why on earth would I even get one.   I saw some good things from it from the online forums and the price is so low now, when you find a bargain that it is a good time to experiment. I'm a big proponent of viewfinders and I'm not really falling in love with the rear LCD.  Not because it is horrible...but I just prefer the view and stability of a optical or electronic viewfinder.  I might find an alternative to it in some way.  Not sure what that looks like at the moment. So why use this when there is so much on paper that is against it when looking at other small, interchangeable lens camera systems? Honestly, it is a bit of fun.  It is something different and I've not been exposed to a Pentax anything before.  There are some really well laid out controls and menu functions as well.  I always say that you can learn something from everyone...and gear is no different.   All technologies have a contribution. I'm very happy with what I'm seeing up through ISO 1600 and in good light the files hold up well when shot in JPG.  You can eek out a bit more quality if you shoot in RAW.  With the 01 Prime, you can put this thing in your pant pocket, it is that small.  It is something you can keep with you ll the time with little hassle.  You will be a bit more limited with it...but just remember that and shoot to the strengths of the system. It would not be my first or favorite choice for very dark, low light shooting unless I had the ability to shoot on tripod and at base ISO.

[tortuga-aak]

Why the advertising industry believes that Facebook is invincible

Getty

Facebook's business is nearly 100% driven by advertising. And even with all the negativity swirling around the company, advertisers say they have no plans to pull budgets.

That's because advertisers essentially have no alternative. Facebook is unparalleled in terms of scale and its ability to deliver targeted ads using data.

That dynamic is in stark contrast to Google's YouTube, where some advertisers have stayed away ever since some ads ended up next to hate videos on YouTube.

While marketers say they have other places to advertise next to video besides on YouTube, cutting Facebook ads would directly hurt their business.

When the Times of London published a story about big marketers' ads appearing next to extremist content on YouTube earlier this year, more than 250 brands pulled their spend from the Google video hub. Many industry executives jumped on the opportunity to admonish Google for not doing enough to keep brands safe, with brands such as Walmart and JPMorgan Chase publicly airing out their concerns.

Over six months later, it is Facebook, the other half of the advertising duopoly, that is embroiled in a public maelstrom. Just a week after Facebook’s top lawyer testified before the Congress on Russia-linked ads, Facebook informed advertisers that the company had discovered two new measurement errors — the 11th and 12th such errors that the company has disclosed in a little over a year.

Yet, even with all the negativity swirling around Facebook (including articles questioning whether its actually good for society or not), its business remains unscathed. Not only did the company beat Wall Street's expectations for the third quarter and report its best earnings to date, it also continues to attract advertisers, and most seem unperturbed. And even the ones that are concerned are not changing where they allocate their ad budgets.

In essence, Facebook's business is nearly invincible.

"I wouldn't say they are foolproof, but they are fairly impervious to almost anything," Kyle Bunch, managing director of social at R/GA Austin, told Business Insider. "They have managed to build a remarkably effective advertising engine, and it is difficult for any marketer to cut that off from their marketing mix."

'You just can’t shut Facebook off without doing any damage to your brand'

Over the years, Facebook has cemented its position as an effective marketing vehicle for advertisers. Its unparalleled scale and reach have been huge draws for marketers of all sizes. Thus, despite the mounting criticism the company faces in the public arena, advertisers have been pouring even more money into it than before.

It’s not hard to see why. With its 2 billion users, Facebook has a huge audience for advertisers to mine. Add to that its targeting capabilities — many have argued that the very reason Russian ads and other problematic tags were possible in the first place was because Facebook is really good at hypertargeting — and it becomes hard to ignore.

Philippe Wojazer/Reuters"Facebook has some of the top minds on the planet creating tools for advertisers – making our dollars work harder," Laura Joukovski, senior vice president of media and analytics at online fashion conglomerate TechStyle, told Business Insider. "The reason advertisers are not pulling dollars out is that they are finding efficiency and scale in Facebook advertising — that is certainly the case for TechStyle brands."

"Facebook is a commanding platform," said a financial services marketing executive, who wished to remain anonymous. "You just can’t shut it off without doing any damage to your brand."

That's because, for the most part, marketers have found Facebook ads highly effective in driving business results.

"Facebook is a great persuasion tool, period," an ad agency holding company executive, said on the condition of anonymity. "Whether you’re trying to influence people to vote a certain way or you’re selling a product, Facebook works at scale."

'We’re not seeing our ads next to ISIS propaganda videos'

Advertisers feel that unlike the YouTube crisis, which directly put their brands' reputations at risk, Facebook’s role in 2016's unexpected election outcome does not have a direct bearing on their business.

"With the Russia issue, it was something that was done with one entity that was deliberate in using Facebook and advertisers weren’t directly involved," said Sherwin Su, director of social media activation at Essence. "The difference with YouTube was that brands weren’t aware that their content was going to be put aside inappropriate content."

The financial services marketing executive agreed, saying that the marketers were not publicly connected to fake news and other other nefarious activities on Facebook. 

"We’re not seeing our ads next to ISIS propaganda videos," said the executive.

Plus, there are alternatives to YouTube, something that can't always be said about Facebook. "Google behaved like they had the same monopoly on video with YouTube, like they did on search." the executive said. "And they don’t. You can put your videos in other places and not see deteriorating returns."

YouTubeBut it’s not as though advertisers are letting Facebook off scot-free. The holding company executive said that top-level advertising executives were pushing the company to set things right, although it may not be out in the open.

"After the election, I called a senior executive at Facebook and said that they had thrown the election," the ad insider told Business Insider. "The response was 'No way, we don’t have that kind of influence.' It’s clear now that they need to do better, but I have confidence they will get it right."

"We are all cracking the whip," the financial services marketing executive agreed. "It just may not be as public."

'There is no alternative'

Russia aside, Facebook has also been grappling with a slew of measurement errors, one after the other. While a number of advertisers interviewed by Business Insider voiced their concern over these errors, they said they hadn’t been severe enough to change where they allocate their ad budgets.

"It is a concern when there have been misstatements or misrepresentations in measurement," said an entertainment marketing executive. "But it hasn’t materially affected the way our campaigns have delivered on their metrics, at least not yet."

Some of the revelations made by Facebook include overestimating the average viewing time for video ads on its platform, the under counting or over counting of a number of metrics including weekly and monthly reach of marketers’ posts, and most recently charging advertisers for video ads that played while out of view.

Stephen Lam/ReutersBut none of these measures are crucial to how marketers pay for Facebook ads or gauge the impact of their investments, according to Essence’s Shu.

"The measurement metrics that are being goofed up are vanity metrics anyway," he said. "If their future compromises actually impact results and outcomes, then that’s going to have implications for them from the brands’ angles."

Marketers have also gotten accustomed to a certain level of dicey ad practices. "Even with the wrong math — it is really small compared to fraud rates on other platforms," said the ad holding company executive. "In digital advertising, you just learn to live with a certain amount of ambiguity."

The advertising industry is also pleased that Facebook has been more upfront about its mistakes while pledging to improve matters.

The platform has published a white paper on organized attempts to use Facebook to influence the election, for instance, and agreed to an audit by the Media Rating Council. It has hired thousands of content moderators to manually flag inappropriate posts and most recently, it has made disclosure necessary for all political advertisers and made advertising more transparent in general on its platform.

"They have been very transparent and proactive," said Shu. "They’ve been good partners and have outlined what they are doing to fix everything."

Ultimately, there is just no better alternative to Facebook — or at least to the duopoly — according to R/GA’s Bunch.

"Most marketers are looking at the closed loop data — they know exactly how much Facebook is driving in terms of actual sales," he said. "Where are you going to make that up if you drop Facebook? Google? That’s probably the only other alternative."

NOW WATCH: Everything we know about the mysterious SR-72 — Lockheed Martin's successor to the fastest plane ever

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[itsworn]

Hot August Nights 2017: Painless Performance/STREET RODDER Top 100

Ten vehicles out of 6,000. That’s what we’re looking for when we come to Hot August Nights in Reno. In addition to general event coverage, STREET RODDER comes to this huge event every year in search of ten cars or trucks to pick as award winners in the Painless Performance/STREET RODDER Top 100 program. While our fellow staffers were choosing Top 100 winners at the Tri-Five Nationals in Bowling Green, Kentucky, we were doing the same in Reno. Those guys had every variety of ’55-’57 Chevy to choose from, but for us at Hot August Nights, the range was a bit broader. We try for a wide variety—in eras, manufacturers, and styles and well as by mixing some modest-budget homebuilt “real world” rides with some top-rung show cars.

There is no shortage of opportunity for winning prizes at Hot August Nights. The Top 100 prize package (a cool jacket, magazine and web coverage, and a little glory) isn’t near the big money prizes given out elsewhere at Hot August Nights, but we think a Top 100 award has a high value—and the winners agree.

The 2017 Painless Performance/STREET RODDER Top 100 season is now finished. One hundred vehicles have been honored and one of them will soon be announced as the 2017 Street Rod of the Year. Maybe it will be one of these winners from Hot August Nights. Which one would you pick?

1937 Chevy Pickup | Dale & Rozanne Buck | Mesa, AZ

Like most trucks, this one started out as a workhorse. Dale bought it from his father 49 years ago and used it to haul stuff, for transportations, dates, errands, and family trips. Look at it now, packed with a supercharged 383 stroker engine with dual carbs, riding on a modified MII front suspension and Chassisworks rear, covered in tangerine and cinnamon paint, and hauling in show trophies. The body and bed feature more than 25 modifications, including the one-piece hood and shaved sheetmetal. Mickey Thompson provided the wheels and tires. The cab is updated with bucket seats, Mooneyes gauges, modern audio, AC, and yards of brown leather.

1959 Cadillac | Larry Hanson | Gig Harbor, WA

What could be cooler than cruising the main drag of Reno, Nevada, in a mile-long ’59 Cadillac? Larry bought the car 17 years ago, from the son of the first owner who had passed away. It had been parked for 28 years under a carport. The rusted c was torn down for a frame-off rebuild and most of the sheetmetal was replaced. Bob Salstrom helped with much of the heavy lifting. Now the candy purple 63 Series Coupe DeVille looks and ride better than it ever did, powered by a beautifully dressed 454 engine with a 4L60 transmission. The interior combines modern elements like digital gauges and a contemporary steering wheel with classic two-tone tuck ‘n’ roll Naugahyde.

1936 Ford Club Cabriolet | Michael Mongiello | Eagle, ID

When’s the last time you saw a ’36 Club Cabrio, especially one as nice as this one. Only 4,616 were produced, and Michael believes there are only around 200 in existence today. This one was purchased from the original owners in Minnesota, and was street rodded with help from Griffin Rod & Customs, Danny Ingram, and others. The custom Dayton wheels were painted Tacoma Cream to contrast the Cloud Mist Grey (a 1940 Ford color). The lighter color is also used for pinstriping and on the beautiful valve covers and air cleaner cover on the Chevy 383 stroker engine. A Glide bench is covered in deep brown leather, along with the rest of the elegant interior.

1940 Ford Coupe | Ken Machado | Reno, NV

The reddest street rod parked at the Atlantis Resort was this homebuilt ’40 Deluxe coupe, driven all the way from Ken’s house, two miles away. For Ken, the coupe was inspired by the Flathead ’40 Ford coupe he drove when he was in high school (and drag raced in B/Gas). This time, Ken built his car strictly for the street (and shows), and with features not available in his teenage years, including a 480hp LS3 engine backed by a 4L65E trans, and a TCI suspension. Sheetmetal changes include the big-block firewall and low-key rear wheel tubs. Ken’s coupe won the Best Street Rod prize at the Atlantis in addition to STREET RODDER’s pick for Top 100.

1952 Ford Victoria Convertible | Jay & Dianne Skow | Quincy, CA

Jay and Dianne’s Vicky is a true old-school custom survivor. Jay’s parents bought it at a used car lot 60 years ago. It became his first car when he was 15 and he cut off the top when he was 16. After Jay’s 45th high school reunion, Dianne encouraged him to redo the car, which he still owned but had ignored for 42 years. The body-off rebuild was done with old-school components, such as the 1957 Thunderbird 312 Y-block with triple 94s. Fatman and RideTech components are out-of-sight suspension upgrades. The shaved, nosed, and decked body has ’58 Lincoln headlights, a ’55 Buick grille, and inverted ’56 Packard taillights. Now their grandchildren are wondering who will inherit it.

1965 Chevy Impala 2-Door Wagon | Richie Valles | Agua Dulce, CA

The concept behind the two-door wagon was to create something with the looks of a GM concept car, the style of a Sixties custom, and some lowrider flavor. He bought the car from a woman in her 80s in Hollywood. She and her girlfriends used to drive the car to Vegas to see Elvis perform at the Hilton back in the day. He redid the car at his shop, Unique Twist Auto Body in Burbank, converting the body to two doors, chopping the top, modified the front and rear, and added Buick Skylark wheels. The ’66 Impala seats were covered in suede. The 327 engine, in old time custom tradition, was left simple. Richie says he took a big chance painting it candy magenta, but people like it.

1933 Willys Roadster | Vaughn Veit | Buffalo, MN

Vaughn is something of a ’33 fan with a collection of every body style of ’33 Ford. This rare Willys is one of his non-Fords and probably the rarest. He told us there were only 71 Willys roadsters built that year, and less than a handful remain in the United States. The car was discovered in California and built from rusted parts at Roy Brizio Street Rods. The old time Ford Flathead has Navarro heads and intake, with a pair of Stromberg 97s on top. Underneath, the Art Morrison chassis modernizes the ride. The Sid Chavers interior blends traditional and contemporary. The painted wheels are one-offs built by Curtis Speed. Vaughn recently had the Willys in our photo studio. Look for a fully story soon.

1956 Chevy Nomad | John & Sheila Emacio | Chattaroy, WA

Three days after winning a STREET RODDER Top 100 award, this sleek white ’56 Nomad took Fifth Place in the prestigious Hot August Night Cup contest. In 2011, John and Sheila won Top 100 with a different ’56 Nomad. That one was silver and black with an LS6. This one runs a Jack Gibbs 409 with Inglese sidedraft injection and a Gearstar 4L80E. The car was built at G# Rod and sits on an Art Morrison chassis. The wheels are from Billet Specialties. Billet aluminum side trim is from Atomic Machine. Dark red leather was used throughout the interior. John describes it as a “finessed hot rod,” and says the white paint highlights the cars build quality.

1954 Hudson Metropolitan Convertible | Ted Whipple | Reno, NV

There are Hudson Metropolitans. Built by Austin, Metros were badged as Hudsons in 1954 when Hudson merged with Nash. Ted bought his from the original owner’s widow. It was bending from the rust, but builders Ken Carford and Ricky Ruiz helped Ted resurrect the car. MG Midget suspension parts support the stock frame. The 2.3L Ford engine was donated by an ’85 Mustang II, with a C4 transmission behind it. JBM wheels measure 14 inches. Interior touches include the vinyl and tweed covered bench, Stewart Warner gauges, and a Moto-Lita steering wheel. In the four years he’s owned the car, Ted has driven it a lot, shown it a lot, and answered a bunch of questions.

1950 Chevy Fleetline | Mitch & Pam McDonald | Foresthill, CA

In addition to selecting pro built rods for Top 100, we love finding “real world” owner-built street rods—the roots of this hobby—like this ’50 Fleetline. Mitch got into cars as a kid, standing next to his father and uncles. This was a two-owner car when he bought it from a friend five years ago, and began modifying it to his taste. Now it features a one-piece windshield, a filled hood, and a mild rake—with a dual-carbed 427 Chevy big-block for plenty of power, and a Heidt’s IFS frontend and four-bar rear. The beautiful interior includes SRT Challenger seats upholstered in black and tan leather. Five-spoke Americans measure 17- and 20-inches and wear Pirelli rubber.

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Hyundai Elantra SR a swift, agile and well-rounded small sedan

What is it?

The Hyundai Elantra SR is the newest, sportiest and most expensive edition to Hyundai’s freshly renewed Elantra small car range.

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What’s it cost?

Entry to the Hyundai Elantra SR club starts at $28,990 for the Elantra SR with the six-speed manual and $31,290 for an Elantra SR fitted with Hyundai seven-speed dual clutch transmission as tested here. All prices are exclusive of on road costs and options. The only engine available is a good one – Hyundai’s 1.6 litre turbo engine which is also found in the Veloster Turbo and the Tucson SUV.

The Elantra SR is value for money package. You get leather seats with heating for those up front and electric adjustment for the driver, a racy flat bottom steering wheel with a red position marker at the base, dual zone climate control, blind spot monitoring, automatic xenon headlamps, a reversing camera, rear cross traffic alert, push button/keyless start and of course parking sensors.

A touchscreen that controls all car’s infotainment features and Apple CarPlay and Android Auto are standard.

The interior is garnished with faux-carbon fibre trim, sports pedals and red highlights to make sure you don’t forget you’re in the sporting model, which you certainly won’t.

In typical Hyundai fashion everything is well screwed together, and although there were some hard and scratchy plastics is some places, all the main contact surfaces such as the door handles and gear lever, felt great to the touch. That sports steering wheel deserves a special mention, with a high quality feeling and satisfying tactility.

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What’s it go like?

Well, very well. The Elantra SR’s 1.6 litre turbo engine chucks out 150kW @ 6000rpm and 265Nm from between 1500rpm to 4500rpm. A healthy serving of power and a broad spread of torque means that the engine is always hungry to please, happily spinning its way through the rev range.

Claimed average fuel economy is 7.2 litres per 100 kilometres on a combined cycle. We managed around 8.1 litres.

Power delivery is tractable and satisfying, and it always seems like the engine is egging you on to go just that little bit more quickly, when, before you know it, you’re rocketing along at a speed that government deems safe.

Hyundai’s seven-speed dual clutch transmission has always been one of the best in the business and is a good match for the turbo engine, making sure that it delivers its best at all times. Should you wish, you can always swap cogs yourself (recommended) by way of the steering wheel mounted shift paddles.

On initial take off the box’s shifts can have the traditional dual-clutch feel, slightly lacking the smoothness of a conventional automatic. Once on the move though, the Elantra SR races through its cogs quickly and seamlessly.

Handling is sharp and precise, and Hyundai has achieved a brilliant balance between cornering grip and poise, steering feel and ride comfort.

Driver involvement has been a key focus for Hyundai when developing the Elantra SR, and this is demonstrated with the fitment of multi-link rear suspension instead of the standard Elantra’s torsion beam set up. Not that the cooking versions of the Elantra handle like small boats, but it shows that Hyundai was serious about making the Elantra SR a true sports model rather than a marketing exercise.

What we like:

Quite a lot, actually. However, our favourite thing about the Elantra SR is its sense of cohesiveness. From the moment you approach the car from a distance, when you slip behind the flat bottom steering wheel and then take to your favourite twisty bit of black top, everything feels just right.

But it works just as well on the dreary daily commute and thanks to that smart suspension setup, it won’t rattle your fillings over crap city streets.

In sum, not only is the Elantra SR an accomplished car within itself, but it gives us a preview to future high-powered Hyundai “N” models.

Equipment levels are generous for the price too, and there’s not really anything that makes you want for more. Except for one thing…

What we don’t:

Why no sat nav? It just seems strange that Hyundai has packed the Elantra SR to the hilt with equipment and left out navigation, although you can use Apple Maps if you have a compatible smartphone and enjoy the sweet tones of Siri’s voice.

And the rest? Well, if we have to nit-pick, the Elantra’s exhaust doesn’t have the same burble and growl as the Veloster SR and the engine can sound a little coarse when revved hard.

Other than that, not a lot else, really.

Sale or no sale?

82/100

Yes, probably.

If you’re in the market for a deceptively quick, talented and well-appointed small sedan, the Hyundai Elantra SR is impossible to ignore.

Fast facts:

Hyundai Elantra SR Price: from $28,990 ($31,290 for the dual-clutch auto) Warranty: 5 years/unlimited kilometres Capped priced servicing: $777 for three years Service interval: 12 months/10,000km Safety: 5 stars, 8 airbags Engine: 1.6-litre 4-cyl turbo petrol, 150kW/265Nm Transmission: 7-speed dual-clutch transmission Fuel consumption: 7.1L/100km Dimensions: 4570mm (L), 1800mm (W), 1440mm (H), 2700mm (WB) Weight: 1415kg Spare: Space saver Country of Origin: Korea

Hyundai Elantra SR Review. One punchy small car @Hyundai @turbo @themotoringguru Hyundai Elantra SR a swift, agile and well-rounded small sedan