#the tape still invited social interaction

[diagnosis-pending]

mental illness is taping your mouth shut in highschool because you were so desperate for a talking break and the tape let everyone around you know that you weren't gonna be speaking

[heartfullofleeches]

can we get more Fratbro!Darling interaction with creep!yan? it was amazing

They don't belong here.

Why did they even come.

The ice in their cup has melted from the heat of their skin, but the punch's still too strong to drink. With how shakey their hands are, they'd likely spill it if they tried. People are watching them now - probably wondering who let the freak in. They've been in this situation before. Invited to places because it'd be too awkward to invite everyone in the group but them while most of them pray they'll just stay home. Maybe they should have. The whispers are starting again and they're getting closer. Here it comes-

"Oh, hey! There you are! I've been looking for you since I heard you were here. You got a minute?"

Someone pulls them from the obscurity of the crowd - dragging them into the spotlight on wobbly legs. A strong arm holds them steady as the uncomfortable gaze of their peers swallows them, a gentle squeeze to their bicep negating their rising fears.

"This is the person I was telling you guys about - the one that drew that picture you saw on my lockscreen. I'm telling you, Mickey has crazy talent. I'm glad so we met at that gas station a few weeks back... Would you believe they live right across the street?"

It's pretty obvious that nobody really cares, but enthusiasm is an infectious disease. They do their best to answer half-hearted questions and try even harder to smile. It's hard to fake emotions when your attention is elsewhere. Mickey stares at you, arm still locked around their shoulder, like the beacon of light you are. How did you manage to be so different? When you first met they thought you were just another fake. Someone who pretended to be their friend for whatever benefit it gave. You cared. You tried to get them to be more social and showed up at their apartment when they'd be absent for days. You showed genuine interest in their quirky little hobbies and always laughed with them instead of at them. You even wore the crow skull necklace they made for you. It's like you were already dating.

Your grin falters as you look over at your friend, the clacking of their teeth and goosebumps on their skin catching your attention. "Hey, Mick... Everything okay? You're shaking."

Mickey hides their face in the collar of their jacket. "Yeah.... fine. Don't worry about me."

They jump as your palm touches their forehead.

"Nah, dude - you're like really sweaty. I'll walk you home in the morning, but you should lie down for now."

Mickey starts to protest, but as you weave through the crowd, heading for the stairs - their lips are sealed. They always forget you live with this meatheads despite standing beneath your bedroom window every night. Where you taking then to your room? They can feel stares on them even now, but they feel almost... jealous. Mickey likes that feeling. They squeeze your hand tighter - heart stopping as you approach the door with your name taped to it.

Opening the door just a crack, you make sure no one is inside before leading Mickey in. You take their cup as you guide them to the bed. Your bed. They giggle to themselves as you walk away with their cup, pouring its contents down the sink in the bathroom and filling it with fresh water from the tap. You really were the kindest person they've ever met on campus - like any good spouse would be.

"How much did they give you to drink?.... Just drink this water and relax. Remote's in the bottom drawer if you get bored. I'll be back to check on you in a bit. Don't worry about falling asleep I'll just sleep on the floor or the couch."

Mickey blushes as your fingers graze theirs as you past them the cup, and the image of the two of you cuddled up in your bed. They take a few tiny sips before setting the cup on the table.

"T... thank you... I wouldn't mind if you slept with me. It's your bed afterall."

"True, but I wouldn't want you to be comfortable. Relax, we'll talk about it more when I come check on you. Be back in a few!"

Mickey watches as the door closes behind you. They wait for your steps to fade down the stairs, finger on their zipper as they disappear. Mickey unzips and throws off their jacket like it was restricting their air flow. They drop it to the floor along with their shoes as they crawl beneath your blankets - planting their head face deep in your pillows and sheets. They smell just like the conditioner you use. Mickey makes a mental note to raid your bathroom, but there's so much they want to do in such little time.

Your dirty clothes. Your closest. Your dressers. So many places - so little time. What should they do? What should they do- Steal the fragrances you wear so their room always smells like you? Take your toothbrush or a water bottle you've drank from for their first indirect kiss? Steal a shirt or maybe even your underwear to.... now's not the time for that, Mickey - your window of opportunity is getting shorted with every breath.

Mind racing, Mickey decides the best thing to do now is to claim their new territory. Mark your room as theirs just as their entire apartment has been overtaken by pictures of you and the things you've thrown out. They fish through their jeans for their keys - picking the hidden knife discreetly disguised as a key. Having overprotective parents had its perks - such as items of self defense they'd otherwise be put on a list for buying themselves.

They climb out of bed, crouching to the floor. The gap beneath your bed has just enough room for them to wiggle into. Compared to lockers they'd been shoved into it was like a luxury apartment. They lay flat on their back, dragging themselves below the bedframe - knife in hand. Eyes adjusting to the darkness, their hands search for the boards supporting your mattress and drives their knife into the first place plank their nails catch on - drawing the curve of a heart into the wood. Light bleeds into the room as they complete the second arch and angle their blades for the first letter of their initials, followed by startled gasps and halted flirts at the odd sight of feet beneath your bed.

"Is this room already occupied?"

Mickey clutches their key ring tighter.

"This is our room...... IF YOU'RE NOT GONE IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS I WILL GOUGE YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO YOU!"

Mickey shrieks in laughter at the sound of slamming doors and footsteps racing down the hall. They've never raised their voice at anyone like that before. Love is a crazy drug. They carve their initials and yours beneath your bed, slithering from the opening and up onto your bed between the sheets for the best night of sleep they've had since they were young.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Running from the Flames {24}

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x OFC Warnings: 18+ only, Pierre being a simp- this is a work of fiction and the events are not based on reality. Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

I would never truly be comfortable in front of all the cameras but they no longer sent me spiralling into a panic attack. I still held Pierre’s arm a little tighter as we stepped out of the limousine and made our way towards the mass of reporters. 

I looked back at the car longingly but it was already pulling away so the next one could pull in, possibly the one with Granny and Matthew. Pierre had renewed her interest in the sport and now she was looking to invest in one of the teams, obviously we knew it was going to be Alpine but she wanted an invite to the event so she hadn’t declared that piece of information yet.

Someone called Pierre’s name and we were led to the side where a few special commentators were allowed to interact with guests. We were told to stand at the x taped to the carpet and dutifully moved into position as the woman introduced herself as Anya Beckett of Vanity Fair.

“I am here with the gorgeous couple, Pierre Gasly and Brianna Vowles, so tell me, who are you wearing tonight?”

Pierre expertly unbuttoned his fitted jacket with one flick and held the sides open as he did a turn. The women in the crowds lining the red carpet nearly deafened me with their screams and he waved with a smile and a wink that would only make them louder. 

Since he was busy working the crowd up and then darting forward to sign a few autographs the microphone was turned to me for the answer.

“We are both wearing special pieces from Betty Strauss to raise awareness that today is the international White Ribbon Day which aims to eradicate violence against women.”

“Oh yes, I see that now,” she said as she waved to the crossed neck halter. “But this is definitely not any of the vintage collections I have seen, how did you possibly get the Betty Strauss out of retirement?”

A cheer went up as the next limo arrived and I looked down the red carpet to see Granny waving like a Queen to her subjects. Matthew looked every bit the professional model he was as he tucked one hand in his pocket and looked down the camera with a pose, one arm around Granny’s waist. 

“Wow, I hope I look half as good as that at her age,” Anya blushed as Betty strutted her way over in towering heels. “Betty, it’s wonderful to see you outside of Fashion Week. I know this wasn’t on anyone’s bingo card for the season.”

“Life would be a drag if I were anything but unpredictable. Doesn’t my granddaughter look wonderful?”

Anya’s eyes darted between us. “Granddaughter?” 

“Harry may have got the surname in the divorce,” Betty joked, “but we still had Damien together.”

“Of course,” Anya laughed nervously as she gave Matthew a side glance but he was used to Granny’s sense of humour that dad had inherited. “And can we expect to see this stunning piece in the new season drop for Strauss Fashion?”

I shook my head and spoke up. “This, along with Pierre’s suit and his racing helmet, are going to be up for auction tomorrow night after the race. All the money will be donated to The Kering Foundation so if you haven’t registered already you can find the link to the form on any of mine or Pierre’s social media accounts.”

I looked around trying to find him and spotted him way back down the red carpet with Charles who had just arrived. The two were talking animatedly together and he pointed my way before clutching his chest. I cocked an eyebrow up at Pierre and Charles cupped his hands around his mouth to shout over the crowd. “He won’t stop telling me how beautiful you look!” 

“I can’t, it’s true,” Pierre shouted before they were asked to make their way towards the building and he caught me around the waist, his lips teasing my ear as he whispered. “You are so beautiful it hurts.”

“Ay, come on guys, some of us are depressingly single,” Charles complained as he pushed us apart and stepped in between to drape an arm over our shoulders. “Bri, you do look beautiful, Pierre, eh, not so much.”

“Bullshit,” Pierre scoffed. “You just called me ‘handsome daddy’ back there.”

“Wait, you don’t speak spanish…unless…” Charles looked at me and I could feel my cheeks burning under the layers of makeup. “You call him papi chulo? Oh, this is too good.” He slipped away from us, waving to the crowd as he rushed inside calling out for Carlos and I buried my face in my hands.

“Thank you for your time, enjoy your evening and best of luck for the race tomorrow,” Anya said after seeing it was going to be impossible to get our attention back and turned to the camera to reconfirm the information she had received. “There you have it, you could own some unique pieces of memorabilia whether you are a fan of Formula One or fashion, and it’s for a great cause too.”

Pierre winked to the camera and waved goodbye before leading us into the convention centre that was lit up brightly. 

“Now everyone is going to be calling you papi chulo,” I groaned as we stepped inside and I immediately spotted Charles and Carlos huddled together. “I’m going to get a drink and let you have fun with that.”

Lewis found me at the bar and I complimented the flamboyant outfit he wore that was as far from the black tie dress code as possible. The bright rainbow tie dye colours of his oversized clothes represented his support for the LGBTQ+ community and on the back in bold print it said ‘Black Lives Matter’. 

The bartender spotted Lewis waiting and rushed past the other people who had been waiting longer than us and Lewis tried to tell him to serve the others but the man obviously had his orders of priority.

“I’ll grab a mock mojito, please.”

“Oh, make that two,” I said I saw the ingredients on the menu and decided it looked delicious. I turned to him while we waited and noticed the white ribbon pinned to his shirt. “Hey, we match.”

“We all do,” Lewis chuckled and nodded his head to Lando and Oscar who were talking together not far away, a white ribbon pinned to their suits. “Pierre worked up a sweat chasing everyone up and down the paddock this morning. He even got one on Roscoe.”

“You don’t even let me put anything on him.”

“That’s because you want to put him in Alpine colours,” Lewis pointed out.

“I didn’t know he was planning that.” I searched the room and found him in a fit of laughter between Carlos and Charles, no doubt being teased goodheartedly. 

“That’s hard to believe, he’s absolutely terrible at keeping secrets.”

I laughed at the honest statement and took a sip of the drink that had been placed on the bartop. The fresh zesty flavour of clementine and lime filled my mouth and I hummed in appreciation as I placed it back down. “Ok, you have officially sold me on non-alcoholic drinks.”

“They will be in high demand tonight. I don’t think anyone will want to drink too much with the race tomorrow.”

We looked at the youngest drivers on the grid and laughed as they tapped their bottles of beer together, cheering to their team. 

“Oh, to be young again.”

Lewis choked on his drink with a laugh. “You're only 26, Bri.”

“I swear I hardly need to sleep anymore, I get so much stuff done before anyone else is awake that I need a hobby. Actually, I saw this clip on tik tok about how easy it is to knit that I am seriously considering trying. I practically fit the criteria for a retirement home.”

“You can make me a sweater, cute little pattern on it, plenty of colour, bam.”

I snorted at the idea and shook my head. “I think I’ll leave the big projects to the professionals,” I said with a nod in Betty’s direction. “But maybe a beanie won’t be too hard, or little booties.”

“Whose booty are we talking about?” Pierre asked as his arms wrapped around my waist and held one fist out to Lewis. “Sup, man.”

Lewis bumped his knuckles against Pierre’s. “No booty talk here but it sounds like Bri’s about to start nesting.”

Pierre’s brows pinched in confusion at the term. “Nesting?” 

Toto broke through the crowd and looked relieved to have found Lewis, calling him off to talk with some investors but Lewis stopped to look back at Pierre with an amused look. “Google it.”

We didn’t have time to search for the definition because Otmar found us first with Esteban in tow. He gave them both a quick pep talk to boost their confidence before nudging them off towards the throngs of people wanting to talk to the drivers. 

“How are you doing, kiddo?” Otmar asked as we took our places at the designated Alpine table. Granny and Matthew were already seated and enjoying a bottle of champagne together.

“Never been better, truly,” I said with a grin. “I would have rather had the usual family dinner than this though.”

Otmar laughed and agreed. “It’s a necessary evil and with Betty’s contribution we will be a serious contender for a place in the top three for the Constructors Championship next year. And I think the boys are holding their own in the lion's den.”

I scanned the crowd for Pierre and found him easily thanks to Esteban’s height. The men he was talking to were as charmed by him as I was and they listened to his compelling story with interest, laughing along with him when he joked about something.

“I’m glad they are getting along better,” I commented as I watched the two Alpine driver’s share a grin as they moved onto the next group.

“Makes my job easier, that’s for sure.” Otmar leaned back in his chair and swirled the amber liquid in his tumbler. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you about - Harry?”

“Harry?” I asked confused before following his line of sight and twisting in my chair to see my grandad sauntering into the room. I rose to my feet to give him a hug but I was lost for words since he was always too busy with work in the States to travel anywhere outside of it.

 I immediately looked at Granny as he gave me a final squeeze before moving on and she cocked an eyebrow up at the sight of her first husband pulling out the chair beside her. 

“Long time no see, Elizabeth,” he greeted her as he took a seat.

“Well I didn’t divorce you because I wanted to see more of you, Harold.” She waved a hand between the two seats either side of her. “My husband, Matthew. Sweetheart, this is Harry Vowles, Damien’s father.”

I leaned closer to Otmar and whispered out of the corner of my mouth. “This is awkward.”

Otmar swallowed his laugh and whispered back. “Isn’t it just?”

“So what brings you here, Harold?” 

I tuned into the conversation but Gramps merely tapped his nose with a mischievous smile that had Granny narrowing her eyes. “All I’ll say is it is worth delaying some very important meetings.”

The lights dimmed and the MC for the night announced that the business part of the evening had concluded, finally. Pierre soon found his way back to the table and shook Grandad’s hand, spending a little time catching up since the last time they had seen each other which had been at the race in Austin, Texas. 

I chewed on my lip as I watched the interaction before Pierre took his seat beside me, his hand slipping under the table to rest on my thigh. “Did you know he was going to be here?”

Pierre’s lips parted and his eyes darted around before his mouth shut closed again. He was suddenly uncomfortable in his seat and shifted around, tugging at his bow that was suddenly seeming to choke him.

I reached over and pressed my hand to his forehead, feeling it warm under my skin. “What’s going on, babe? You’re breaking out in a sweat.”

“Nothing, it’s just hot in here.” His hand slipped from my knee and he stood up, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. “Je t’aime, I’ll be back in a minute.”

I grabbed his hand and he looked down at where they joined, a small smile playing on his lips. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

His smile grew and he lifted my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “Never better, mon amour.”

Click here for chapter twenty five.

Tagging: @my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife @prrttysposts @alwaysclassyeagle

[bitchin-tubs]

Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

ONLY FRIENDS EP 8 Thoughts

The scene with Cheum and April is cute and everything but it super hilights that Cheum doesn't really care about Ray. Because "A good boy as turned into a shitty one" I'M SORRY!! He is more like Ray so now he is shitty?? Is this behiavior only ok when Ray does it??? Did they just give up?? If this is is so shitty then why are they still friends with Ray??

Oh Sand. He looks like the perfect picture for disappointed but not suprised. I recognize that particular brand of resignation, from one poor person to another.

That little moment of esitation on Ray's part, he was hoping that Sand would light his cigarette again.

This interaction is so different from all the other ones. It's colder a little bit. Like not even the one in the pool bar when Sand told Ray about the tape was this cold. It's like Sand put all his walls back up, and probably some new ones.

The way eyes were wet when Sand asked that question. And Sand is just congratulation also with wet eyes. HUGH!!!!!

Such a waste of Time!!! AHHHHHH!!! Sand is talking about himself!!! He was a waste of time!!!!!!!!! My baby!!!

I love that Ray can tell that Sand is not ok and asks. But all of his walls are back up. So of course Sand says he is ok. He has a hard time admitting needing help in normal circumstances.

Look at how hopeful Ray is when he asks to still be friends. My heart.

Brutal! Deserved. But Brutal!!

When I'm with you I'm so happy!!!! OMG!! They are trying to kill me.

There was a moment when it almost worked on Sand. He was softening ever so slighty. But then he resisted. I'm so proud of him. I know it's not gonna last long. But still.

You might even be happier!! Nooo Sand don't sell yourself short like this!!!

Let me go already!!

OH NO!! The fight between Yo and his boyfriend!! AHHHH. That was in the MV but I'm not ready.

She scared you dumbass!!!!!!!!!!!! I know he is confused and being broken up with. But still.

Breaking up before he can break up with her, because at least like that she in control. :(((((((

That was a good hug. First looks like he gives great hugs.

Mew is not happy. He is definately depressed and using Ray to feel something. And Ray is too happy to finally get this to notice. Because if he noticed then he will see it's nto working. And then what??

Top!! Look at him he is all hurt and in pain. He is so pathethic I love him so much.

Top knows he is not happy. He can see it. He is not blinded by the happiness like Ray is.

See he is with him because Ray is safe. At least he doesn't lie to me.

THE UNI FIGHT!!!!!

Sand is so suprisded to see him. He immidiately wants to leave.

Ray is being all cute again. And Sand is trying so hard to be strong. SO HARD!!!

God!! Ray is putting out all the stops here. BE STRONG SAND!! SAY NO!!!

So kindergardeners in the trailer is probably Ray's social work. I bet one of the parents there is going to Sand's dad.

Look at Ray go. He is laying it on thick!!!!!!!

Sand is wavering. It's wokring. BE STRONG SAND!!!! He wavered. This is not the uni fight. But they will have that fight in that room, probably in a different episode.

Cheum is so worried about Mew that I understand why she wasn't more angry for longer. She also wants the old Mew back.

I do believe him.

NICKKK!!! Sneaky way to ask if he is single.

I'm not sure if this is giving me creepy vibes or not.

He must be his senior at his Uni department. And look at that he is single too. What a coincidence.

He was definately flirting.

Finally Title.

Really Boston you don't know???

Do I sense a hook up?? That is going to be a thing isn't???

Mew wants to change, because everything reminds him Top, of who he was before. Of the person Top broke.

Let's hire a DJ so I don't have to look at Sand while I'm trying to be happy to finally have you. I SEE YOU RAY!!

I love this scene. Where they all get the invite. Wonderful.

He didn't want to kiss Ray when they were alone but he kissed him in front of Top.

If Ray was sober he probably would have noticed.

Cheum invited Top. Sticking up for him. Hoping they get back together or just that he helps her get the old Mew back

Cheum really doesn't care that much for Ray does she. He is fun to party with. But now suddenly Mew is doing it too so it's wrong.

Also they are all a mess.

Sand went because Nick wanted to go but didn't want to go alone!! That's so cute. They are the only good friends in this show.

Didn't we agree to move on together??? You are not doing a great job either Sand. Who said yes to help Ray with singing to the kids???

Ouch. Once again deserved. But ouch.

Sand should punch him in the face for this bullshit.

YEP YEP YEP YEP!! It's happening!!!!! I knew it. How long did you know you liked Men that's where it starts.

ATOM YOUR SISTER IS GAY HOW ARE YOU SUPRISED BY THIS????????????????

Cheum arrived and put a stop to it. But it will for sure happen.

The treath was there. It was subtle but it was there.

Mew is so broken.

YEPPPPPPP I knew that was gonna happen as soon as I saw the cops in the trailer. He is bribing them.

Oh this hurts.

Top is with Mew, Ray is alone. Cheum and April are together. And Nick and Sand are going home alone. Nick is sad. I love that Sand didn't stay with Ray.

BOSTON AND ATOM!!! I love the fact that Boston has this little moments with Atom all night where it looks like Atom is hangling for something and Boston is hesitating a little. Because even if they are in a fight that is his friend little brother. ATOM WANTS TO EXPIREMENT!!! And Boston will not be the bigger man for long. Not is sex is on the table!!!!!!!

PREVIEW

Daddy Dan!!!!!

Boston and Atom!!

Mew and Ray definately break up. Probably at the start of the episode. It's probably going to be a mutual it's not working converstation.

Mew is still not totally the old Mew. But he and Top seem to be back together in a very non healthy way. That was also in the MV now that I think about it. Them dating but not totally trusting each other.

The UNI FIGHT. And a confession.

[makeupyourworld]

ISOTRETINOIN - MY BATTLE WITH ACNE

Aloha!

It's been over 2 years since I greeted you this way on my blog Makeup Your World. With all that life brings, I decided back then to focus on Instagram only, bring my work to that platform and leave the blog in the past. However, there have been several changes in my life, the subject of which has been mentioned on this blog - and so with this post, I am reviving and also ending the "Fighting Acne" series. Welcome to the sequel of: acne versus me!

This article will be written in both Czech and English.

Introduction:

Over the course of my life, I have visited many "institutions" that I believed in and hoped they would help me with my acne, which I have been battling since I was about 14 years old. Today I am 25 years old, and despite a solid skin-care routine, my problems still occur (although not in as extreme form as before). Basically, I've been searching nonstop...for an impulse to start another treatment, and I found that impulse on Instagram.

Through my amazing friend – Jana aka Marvanka Jein - I came across a clinic. I was complimenting Janice on her beautiful lip fillers at the time, and I suppose it was at that very moment that one of the doctors from that clinic started following me - and given my "focus" and my fascination with aesthetic medicine, I followed back immediately.

Only with the passage of time did I notice the reviews of the doctor and found him to be not only a professional, but according to the reviews, an incredibly pleasant person who is empathetic and sensitive. And frankly, after my previous experiences at certain previous institutions, this was the clincher for me.

 Fibroma:

 The pandemic, studying for the masters entrance exams, and my general anxiety caused me  to write to the doctor in October 2021. And I figured I'd try something other than acne treatment right away - I wanted to have the fibroma removed - read as "a bigger freckle on my neck". I decided to contact the doctor directly on Instagram, and I can tell you that my anxiety at that moment was having a blast! The reply came within minutes – a voice message! The kind voice informed me that it was no problem at all to make an appointment and that he would be very happy if I put myself in his hands. Then there were probably only 10 more messages and within 5 minutes I had an appointment - October 22nd at 9:45.

A short chat at the reception desk, filling out a new patient questionnaire and soon the doctor was inviting me into his office. I'm not going to lie, the first thing that came to mind when I saw the doctor was: Damn, he looks younger than me! Despite the anxiety that accompanies almost every new social interaction, I soon relaxed. The doctor's approach put me at ease. He listened to all my concerns and problems and I basically admitted that the fibroma removal was just "the beginning" and that I would see how today went and based on that I would decide to proceed with the other procedures/treatments.

The doctor looked at the fibroma with the device he had used to zoom in on it - it was interesting (and, to be honest, a bit disturbing) to see this formation so close up on the monitor. It was indeed an ordinary fibroma; there was nothing to prevent it from being removed. The doctor asked me straight away if I wanted to go through with this procedure  and since I had put off this problem of mine long enough, I went ahead with it immediately. The anesthesia was okay, painless (although I must say the idea of an injection in my neck was not very comforting) and in no time I found myself in the chair next to a huge laser. The first "hit" by the laser took me somewhat by surprise, and I jerked slightly. However, the doctor immediately asked me if everything was okay, and with my explanation that I was just scared, he proceeded. Further "hits" were already bearable and I was fibroma-free in no time. Neck taped, ointment for aftercare passed and all instructions with it! I paid 1900 CZK for this procedure and consultation, which in my opinion (in Prague) is a very normal and adequate price.

I had a few more questions for the doctor about the acne treatment before arranging the check-up at the reception. I was told that my "only" option was to switch to a drug I was familiar with - namely Isotretinoin (formerly known as Roaccutane/Accutane). I was slightly alarmed by this revelation (mainly because of the infamous side effects of this drug), so I blurted out a bunch more questions to the doctor, with the understanding that I had three weeks to think about it – as I had to have a follow-up "with" the fibroma. And so my fun was taken care of. But back to the fibroma!

Taking care of the fibroma area consisted of regularly using an ointment called Belogent, and whenever I went out, I had to put a bandaid over it. I lived like that for three weeks, fun!

 Check-up of the fibroma and the beginning of the battle with acne:

 As I mentioned, I was scheduled for a check-up in plus or minus three weeks (Friday, 11/12). With the spot taped over, I walked into the office. After peeling off the patch, the doctor stated that the area had healed beautifully and that all was well. He recommended other products I could use to speed up the healing of the area (scar) and urged me to use SPF consistently.

As this check-up was at 10am, I told the doctor that I had decided to start Isotretinoin treatment and whether it was possible to do blood tests straight away - as this is how Isotretinoin treatment starts. And so, two tubes of blood lighter, I left the clinic, knowing that I would be contacted that evening about the results and picking up a prescription for this legendary drug.

During the late afternoon, my phone rang and the doctor informed me that I was as fit as a fiddle, so there was nothing stopping me from starting Isotretinoin. The prescription was supposed to be sent to me online on Monday, however, due to a system outage, I picked up the prescription in person at the doctor's office on Tuesday. And on Thursday, I was already picking up my first pack of Isotretinoin at the pharmacy! If anyone is interested, the price of the drug is around 350 CZK.

And so my treatment began.

Isotretinoin time!

Like any medication, it takes a while for anything to start happening.

Before I start describing the different months of treatment, let's share a few basic facts about Isotretinoin:

- It is a drug related to vitamin A, belonging to a group of medicines known as retinoids.

- it is used to treat severe forms of acne

- the drug is usually taken for 4-6 months (16-24 weeks), depending on the dose of the drug itself

- the number of side effects is really long, listed below in the article

- the drug must not be used by pregnant women; it is recommended to use contraception during treatment

- you must not consume alcohol during treatment

The side effects mentioned include:

- Dry skin, especially on the lips and face, inflammation of the skin, cracked and inflamed lips, rash, slight itching and slight peeling of the skin

- Elevated liver enzyme levels shown in blood tests

- Back pain, muscle pain, joint pain, especially in adolescents

- Depression and similar disorders. Symptoms include depression, mood changes, anxiety, crying fits, irritability, loss of enjoyment or interest in social activities and sports, excessive sleepiness or difficulty sleeping, changes in weight or appetite, poorer performance at school or work, or problems concentrating

- Some patients develop thoughts of self-harm or suicidal thoughts

It's probably obvious why I took my time deciding about the Isotretinoin treatment….

First and second month:

The first two months of treatment were a waiting game. I guess we are all a bit impatient, and so I watched myself in the mirror day after day, waiting for the improvement. I have to say that already within the first two months the formation of new pimples was significantly reduced, which I was very happy about.

At the same time, however, I felt the first side effects that accompanied me pretty much throughout the treatment, namely: very dry skin, not only on my face but also on parts of my body; chapped lips; burning eyes.

At the same time, due to the limited productivity of the sebaceous glands, I figured it was the perfect time to clean up the blackheads on my nose. And so, in a very safe way (by applying pressure evenly) I got rid of the blackheads, cleaned the spots properly and hoped they wouldn't come back.

Spoiler alert: The blackheads have indeed not returned and I am still shocked by this to this day. I would also like to mention how my routine has changed, or what products I had to eliminate and what products I had to add. All the acids and peels have disappeared from my routine, and I've even eliminated all the products containing vitamin A. On the other hand, I started moisturizing more and being very, very careful about using SPF.

To continue.... the list of side effects got even more extensive in the following months, but I more or less counted with that. So the first two months went relatively okay and I was beginning to have hope that another of my many acne treatments would finally work. Third and fourth month:

Basically, not much has changed. My skin was extremely dry, and during February I "celebrated" my first new "friend" (read as pimple) who visited me during Isotretinoin treatment. However, it has to be said that generally the acne manifestations subsided incredibly during treatment and I basically greeted each new visitor on my face with a smile.

As far as I can remember, it was during the fourth month that I began to experience probably the biggest side effects, which were related to my mental health. I honestly can't say whether these problems were exacerbated by taking Isotretinoin or whether the particular situation I was in was to blame, but I feel it is important to mention this fact.

Fifth and sixth month:

Basically the finishing line of my treatment. The closer I got to the end of my six-month cycle, the more I couldn't wait for that end. I have seen significant improvement in my skin and have already started comparing before and after photos. I have to say that, as you will see, the results are dramatic and I am very happy with them.

 Final check-up and aftercare:

I finished treatment (aka the last pill) on May 23rd and my last check-up was scheduled for June 7th. The doctor greeted me with a smile and immediately expressed his excitement about the condition of my skin.

We discussed how I was handling the treatment, talked about the aforementioned side effects, and also discussed aftercare.  In the event that my acne returns (meaning significant new manifestations form), micro doses of Isotretinoin may be considered. (However, I'm knocking on wood; I'm a month and a half after the treatment and my skin is still in an amazing condition so far!)

 Aftercare aka what should I do?

- Avoiding vitamin A for at least 6 months

- Avoid all acids and peels that I used before the treatment (for example, my favorite "The Ordinary - 30% AHA + BHA 2% Peeling Solution"

- ALWAYS (and this doesn't just apply to me, but should apply across the board, to everyone) wear SPF, I choose factor 50

- be aware that my skin is still very sensitive after the treatment

- I was recommended Skinoren for the evening, which contains azelaic acid - this should help with the redness and hyperpigmentation

My final verdict:

Quite frankly I am very glad I went for the treatment, although it was very challenging; at least that is how I perceived it. I have to admit that I would not want to undergo the treatment again (even the aforementioned micro-doses); however, if my acne symptoms were to worsen again, I would probably have no other choice.

As you may have noticed, I did not mention the doctor's name in the article - that is his wish and I fully respect that wish. However, I would like to thank the doctor once again and in all seriousness say that he is the first person who has really helped me with my acne, and for that he deserves an incredible thank you. Also for his empathetic attitude and willingness to answer my questions at any time. Thank you!

And for those of you who struggle with acne:

Although this may sound like a classic cliché, don't give up. Don't let acne define who you are. If acne is bothering you, look for options, contact professionals, and believe that you will win your battle someday. I absolutely understand that it is often very challenging and I myself have struggled with this problem. But as you can see, there is always hope.

If you are thinking about Isotretinoin treatment, consider this choice very carefully as it is indeed a challenging process. However, its results can completely change your skin and your life in general.

That’s it for today! I hope you enjoyed this update of my battle with acne and I hope I was able to inspire or educate some of you at least a little bit. If you have any questions, feel free to ask away in the comments or reach out to me on my Instagram (@monsterpetr)! Till the next time…

Aloha! You can check out the results of my treatment right here:

Left - before treatment, right - after treatment

Left - before treatment, right - after treatment

Left - before treatment, right - after treatment

And one little bonus photo from 2013, when my acne was truly having a blast:

[cathwritestragediesnotsins]

Dating Class 1-A best bois + Shinsou

(bc our sleepy lavender-haired boy will always be in 1-A in our hearts💖)

Includes: Bakugou, Todoroki, Shinsou, Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero

Gender neutral I think?? I didn’t proof read and i have a tendency to write for myself so...

Bakugou: 

💥Bickering. Constantly.

💥Friends w/ his Mom

💥He cooks for you bc otherwise you would survive off of minute ramen let’s be real

💥Vv possessive and protective of you (not bc he doesn’t trust you or know you can take care of yourself tho, like, trust me, Bakubabe ain’t gon date no wuss)

💥He calls you ”My extra” (not my idea, I read this in a fanfic somewhere and latched onto the name bc fUCKTHAT’SCUTE)

💥Makes you actually study (or dies trying)

💥Tries his best to be the #1 bf because he has to win at everything he really is whipped for you

💥He tries to pretend he doesn’t care but it shows

💥Does sweet stuff for you vv aggressively

      - “Oi, L/N, take this...I got it at the store but I don’t want it.” “Bakugou, this is my favorite drink.” “Yeah so what?” “You got this for me didn’t you?” “I DID NOT!!!” “Mhmmm sure.” “I DIDN’T!! FUCK YOU YOU EXTRA, JUST BECAUSE WE’RE DATING DOESN’T MEAN I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING SO DON’T GO GETTING ANY IDEAS!!!”

💥”I love you Katsuki” *glares and looks away, blushing* “Yeah whatever, I love you too I guess.”

💥Truly a Tsundere

Todoroki:

❄🔥This boy feels so lucky to have you as his S/O lemme tell you

❄🔥He spoils the heck out of you, like trust me, Daddy’s money ain’t goin’ to waste 🤑🤑🤑

❄🔥And he memorizes all your fav snacks, songs, tv shows, movies, activities, etc.

❄🔥Socially tho he is oblivious AF but he tries his best pls help him.

❄🔥You cuddle with different sides of him depending on your temperature.                 - Like, Cold? Boom! Left-side Shoto. Hot? Boom! Right-side Shoto.

❄🔥Doesn’t initiate physical affection but craves it constantly (love him pls he’s touch-starved)

❄🔥You trash Endeavor all the time and it warms his heart that you care enough about him to be so angry on his behalf

❄🔥Don’t get me wrong tho we will support him fully if he wants to repair their relationship

❄🔥100% takes you to meet his Mom...you two are the most important ppl in his life ofc he’s gonna want you to meet

❄🔥HE JUST LOVES AND CHERISHES YOU SO MUCH I’M-😖

Shinsou:

🎮Roasting each other 25/8

🎮Napping together

🎮”’Toshi! Cat!” “Where?!” “There! C’mon!”

🎮Uses his quirk on you but never in a disrespectful way                                      - “Pay attention to me!” “I can’t rn Hitoshi!” “Why?” “Because I have to study!” “Y/N you’ve BEEN studying, take a break!” *uses quirk to make you come cuddle him*

🎮Gaming together

🎮Y’all hardly ever go on ‘dates’ you just hang out all the time bc ur besties UwU

🎮Movie nights where you ironically watch movies like ‘Twilight’ and make SO MUCH COMMENTARY

🎮Honestly like 90% of your interactions give off vibes that you two hate each other so when ppl find out you’re dating they’re hella confused

🎮”I hate you.” “Then stop hugging me.” “No” “Bitch.” “Asshole.”

🎮Best friends who kiss n’ stuff

Kaminari:

⚡Charges things for you (charger!Denki owns my entire heart I’m-😍)

⚡Pick up lines

⚡Couple tik toks

⚡Meme/Vine references

⚡Crackhead energy for dAYZ

⚡Karaoke dates

⚡Pokeman jokes

     - Like, if you lose him in a store you have your own version of marco polo where you say “Gotta catch ‘em all” and he’ll respond with pikachu noises

⚡He is your hype man 100% like, he just wants you to know how amazing you are so he will tell you as often as he can

⚡Physical affection too

       - he kinda clingy but you don’t mind at all

⚡He’ll accidentally zap you sometimes. Like when he gets overly excited but let’s be real when is he not or in his sleep 

       -(but he’ll do it on purpose sometimes too if you know what I mean 👀🥵😏)

⚡If you give him something he’ll treasure it FOREVER no matter how small or random

⚡Just- sweet boy isn’t afraid to look like a fool in love for you and we stan ✋😭

Sero:

📼Most lowkey and supportive bf you will eVER meet

📼He’s so considerate and supportive ugh I’m weak

📼And I feel like this boi got style ok 

        - Like imagine him in some ripped jeans and a baggy white shirt with a jean jacket and some nikes 👀🔥✨

📼I will bet you $50 that our flex tape mans can do your hair and it look better than if you did it

📼You call him ‘Serotonin’

📼He rolls his eyes but lowkey loves it and thinks it’s the cutest fucking thing bc iT IS

📼Standing behind you and resting his chin on your head/shoulder

📼You play with his tape sometimes when ur feeling bored or fidgety

📼Candid photos of you are his fav

📼He loves to watch you in general and he’ll smile to himself

📼And he lovingly teases you just to see you get all pouty or mad bc u entertain him to no end

📼Overall he’s just a total package

Kirishima:

👊SO RESPECTFUL

👊Never pressures you to do anything or makes you even slightly uncomfortable 

👊Calls you beautiful or gorgeous instead of hot

👊WOMEN’S RIGHTS ADVOCATE AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THAT

👊The cute thing is that his personality is ADORABLE with yours no matter what your personality type is

     - Like, Antisocial? Anger issues? Pessimist? Boy have I got a mans for you

     - Extrovert? Super sweet? Optimistic? Boy have I STILL got a mans for you

👊Helping him dye his hair

👊Your friends and family all ADORE him

👊If you have siblings they’re all “When are you bringing Kirishima to visit?” “Did you invite Kirishima?” “Tell Kirishima I said hi!”

👊He’s their fav sibling now. 

👊You’re just gonna hafta deal with the fact that you’ll always be 2nd place (except to Kiri)

[bluejones]

Brand New

pairing: young frankie morales x gn!reader word count: 1.8k warnings: nothing but fluff, pure feelings and some teenage embarrassment summary: High School AU -- after Frankie confesses something to you, you work up the courage to finally confront him, but something happens you never would have expected a/n: ❤️ @leto-duke​ for the beta

read on AO3 here~

gif cred: @santigarcia​

As if high school wasn’t bad enough, now you had to worry about your friend's enthusiastic encouragement toward your more than friend but not quite boyfriend, Frankie. He was two years older, a coveted position to be in, having an older guy even talk to you let alone actually like you - especially one as cool as Frankie. But it wasn’t as big a deal as everyone made it out to be, with your parents being friends and all, you’d interacted before and he was always willing and friendly.

Obviously, you had a crush on him from the moment you laid eyes on him. His smile was infectious and his big bright eyes seemed to look right into you and you sometimes found yourself unable to look away. He was also just laid back and fun, a bit silly but didn't take himself so seriously like some of the other older guys you knew of. He was a genuine person and a good friend.

After some brief interactions around school and exchanging numbers after he had asked you for yours one afternoon, you began a normal friendly relationship. One night, after talking on the phone for an hour, he confessed he liked you more than a friend. Being the awkward, apparently socially inept person you were, you stuttered your way through a goodbye and promptly hung up the phone and almost threw it across the room. There was no way he liked you, but he didn't sound teasing. He sounded just as sincere as he ever had.

He didn't bring it up again, but you hadn’t really given him a chance since you were sort of avoiding him out of fear of embarrassment of your actions at his confession. That led you to this moment, where you had been staring at him from the other end of the hall, contemplating whether to go and talk to him, walk past and give a casual hello like nothing had happened or, what you really wanted to do, run the other way.

“Should I go talk to him?”

“Why wouldn't you? You're practically dating?” Your best friend Jasmine looked at you with a raised brow.

“Uh. We’re not! I don’t know, he’s like, busy or whatever.”

“He’s literally just at his locker?”

“But… all his friends…”

Jasmine remained silent, staring at you and waiting for you to make up your mind. When you didn’t move fast enough, she grabbed your arm and pushed you in Frankie’s direction. Sighing in frustration, you began to walk toward him. Your heart pounded in your chest and you told yourself to get it together, you were friends and had done this hundreds of times before… you should just act normal. But things were.. different now and it just made you all the more nervous.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to casually lean against the locker behind him, like this wasn't a big deal. Cool, calm and collected. God, you hoped that’s what you looked like. You taped him on the shoulder and he spun around, his wide gorgeous smile spreading across his face immediately as he recognised it was you.

“Hey you.” 

Ugh, his voice. You thought you’d never get used to it. You didn't want to, but you couldn't help but glance at his friends then back at him before responding. “Hey.”

He looked behind him and nodded to his friends, signaling for them to go or give him some space. You let out a shaky breath, you really weren't ready to ‘hang’ with his friends and you were thankfully he picked up on that.

He stepped closer and leaned against the locker next to you with grace and coolness you wish you had, and adjusted his hair under the red cap he always wore. His deep brown eyes were shining, ones you swore you wouldn't fall into this time. He was looking at you with that cheeky smirk on his face that made the constant flutter in your stomach you had whenever you were around him increase.

“What’s up?”

You shrugged. Oh god, you should have prepared something to say. “Nothing really.”

“Oh yeah? What’ve you got next?”

“Um, English. You?”

“Oh damn,” he moved just a little bit closer, and you tried to pretend you didn't notice. “I've got a free.” He rubbed his chin with his thumb, pretending to think as he looked down at you. “Might study.”

His tone was serious but his smile said he was going to anything but that. While you could often find him in random places around school and town head deep into a text book, his friends definitely influenced him out of doing that from time to time. That was one of the things you truly admired about him, the fact that he actually put in the effort to not fall behind in school and take his education seriously - unlike some of the other older cool people who did whatever they wanted seemingly without a care.

You looked around. His locker was closed and he didn't have his bag or anything on him. 

“Don't you need stuff to study with?” You teased him, thankful you were remaining casual and your body wasn’t betraying you by getting flustered and tripping over your words.

He gave you a knowing grin, raising both his eyebrows while making it a point to slowly open his jacket and pulling a pen out of the inside pocket. He wiggled it around between his fingers before putting it back in. You muffled your laugh with your hand while rolling your eyes.

Your laugh abruptly cut off when you felt him pull lightly on the sleeve of the arm that was still by your side. He seemed to get even closer, and you had to tilt your head back to look into his eyes.

“Hey, what are you doing Friday night?”

Friday night?! What does that even mean?! You think you might have stopped breathing.

“I- um- nothing?” Great, well there was no point trying to be casual now.

“Good. Let’s do something.”

You were so shocked you almost took a step back, but you willed yourself not too. “Do something?” you just about whispered. You’d hate yourself for that later.

“Yeah.” His soft chuckle made your chest warm up to an alarming degree. “Let’s get some food after school and then we can go hang out, do something in town or whatever. Whatever you want.” If you weren't internally freaking out you might have noticed how he seemed almost hesitant, a little shy too. But you were too in your head to even remember where you were.

“Sure. O-okay. Let’s do that.” You managed to get out eventually. This definitely wasn’t a friendly sort of hang out, you could tell by the way his entire face lit up and his posture relaxed when you confirmed. You appreciated the fact that he didn't bring up your overreaction to the phone call and his confession from the other night. He knew you knew, and he knew you would need some time to just… freak the fuck out over this.

You were pulled out of your racing thoughts when the bell rang, and you realised you still had a class to go to. Frankie stood up straighter but he didn't move away. A sigh escaped him as he seemed reluctant to leave, but he gave you a small smile anyway. “Well, you should get to class.”

You took a much needed breath. “Yeah.” You looked down at the floor. Time with Frankie was never enough but, you now at least had Friday to look forward to.

He dipped his head to try and catch your eye. “Hey…”

And then, it was like time stood still. You saw Frankie’s arms lift from his sides and move toward you. You watched him as he moved to wrap them around you at an agonisingly slow pace. 

A hug. You had never hugged him before.

He pulled you into him, one arm circling your shoulder and the other bringing you even closer by wrapping around your waist.

Oh my god.

As you didn’t want to continue being rigid and frozen on the spot, you wrapped both your arms around his waist and it was like everything you had ever imagined... but better. Your cheek rested against his chest, where you could feel his heartbeat and be enveloped by the scent of his shirt and jacket - him. He smelled so good, warm and inviting and it was stronger now that he had you in his arms. His grip was gentle but secure, just like you imagined.

But before you could completely lose yourself in him, you heard a round of “ooo’s” and “whoops” near you. You whipped your head around and to your utter horror, saw his friends leaning against the opposite wall, whistling and nudging each other while they eyed the both of you. And next to them, two of your other friends had joined Jasmine, their own cheers echoing through the hall. They would definitely hear about this later.

You turned away and tucked your head into Frankie’s chest as heat spread through your entire body. “Oh god.” You whispered into him, muffled by his shirt. You felt his body shake with laughter as he held you a little bit tighter. You thought you might die of embarrassment. This was worse than anything you could ever imagine. It was as if the entire school had just witnessed this.

“Don’t worry about it.” Frankie whispered into your hair before pulling away and shaking his head at his friends and smiling at your little group. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay.” You just nodded, you could barely look at him. Just as he was turning away and you looked up to watch him leave, he spun back around and gripped your shoulders.

He leaned in and kissed your cheek and as expected, an even louder cheer and shouting erupted from the onlookers.

You felt your eyes go wide, your body going completely still and unable to move. Frankie was still shaking his head as he smiled at you and walked away, his friends nudging him and joking amongst themselves, but he just playfully pushed them away.

You were still standing there like a deer in headlights as your friends came rushing over to you, practically squealing and saying “oh my god” over and over. Like you, they too couldn't believe what just happened. 

As Jasmine pulled your arm toward class while you remained in a daze, you heard them gush over how handsome he was, how lucky you were, what they thought he had planned for Friday and if it involved more kissing. You didn't know if you responded but one thing was certain...

You could not believe you just agreed to hang out with Frankie Morales.

[imagine-turtles]

Hi! I’m knew to this whole request thing and idk if you’re still taking them, but I’d thought I’d ask. How would the boy react to someone as smart (or smarter) than Donnie?

Thank you for waiting!!  Bayverse, unless you wanted different!!

The fact that someone can not only go toe-to-toe with his brother but actually outpace him in his own wheelhouse makes Leonardo uneasy.  He’s typically slow to trust outsiders, true, but this is an especially drawn-out case.  What if they have unsavory intentions?  What if they seem trustworthy, but he can only see what they want him to?  What if they’re playing some sort of long con with goals beyond anything they’ve even imagined?

(Even the most socially-challenged genius can see their only option is to win him over week by week, month by month.  Slow and steady.)

Leonardo hardly thinks of how Donnie might feel until someone else brings it up.  It simply never occurs to him that his brother could feel any less valued than he did before, as if they could trade him in for a shinier model like an appliance.  As if they would.  But he tries, awkwardly, to equalize his interactions.  Anything the newcomer gets--praise, acknowledgement, attention--his brother gets, too.  Donnie might find it ridiculously juvenile if he weren’t so earnest in his attempts.

Finally, if they manage to prove themselves, Leonardo warms up to them.  One genius is great, but surely two is better, and outsourcing some of Donnie’s squint work to a trusted friend frees up a good chunk of his brother’s time.  If he can talk them into sparing an hour or two for the greater good, of course.

~~~

Raphael honestly didn’t think anyone was smarter than his brother.  Sure, there’s Nobel Prize winners out there, but they wouldn’t stand a chance if Donnie had everything they have.  Education, scholarships, laboratories, equipment, the works.  None of those little dweebs would last a day in Donnie’s custom-sized Nikes.

But Raph knows he’d absolutely hate it if a bigger, stronger hardass started parading around the lair, so he does the only thing he thinks he can do: he gets a little competitive, despite both parties’ lack of interest.  Less than tactfully.  So yeah, maybe this kid genius is a better coder, or a cleaner welder, or a master engineer or whatever, but listen.  Donnie had to teach himself to do all that with a keyboard too small for his fingers, and tools duct-taped together, and make it all out of literal garbage, so he’s basically better no matter how you slice it.  The best, even.

Donnie may have to step in to tell him to quit being embarrassing before his ringtone is mysteriously and permanently set to that shitty little gummy bear song.

~~~

Donatello’s reaction hinges entirely on what kind of person the new genius is; if they’re a bit of a knob, he’s much more likely to avoid them entirely.  No point in wasting time and energy talking to a pretentious brick wall.  Not that he’d pass up the chance to mess with them, he just won’t go out of his way.

If they’re friendly, and open to teaching, he’d demand their attention.  God forbid anyone else want a second of their time before he’s done with them; anyone in the family could tell you that when Donnie actually wants something, he fights low and dirty.  He’d have them down there 24/7 if Splinter would allow it, set them up in his room and just sleep in one of the cots tucked around the lair.  It’d be way more efficient than going back and forth to the surface all the time.

(At one point he realizes how absolutely bonkers that sounds, and thanks every star in the sky that he never actually voiced that one out loud.)

Donnie’s not afraid of being replaced--he knows his brothers, knows how much family means to them--but he does feel obligated to take advantage of all the new information available to him.  In theory, if they both share their respective knowledge, they’ll both end up equally skilled and better off than they were before.  Ultimately, he’d never say no to another tech-head around, regardless of their attitude.  Age of the geek, as they say.

~~~

Michelangelo is, for the most part, happy that Donnie has someone to talk shop with.  He listens when he can, but they both know there’s only so much he can absorb unless the planets align and he’s hyper-fixated on the exact same thing as his brother.  Once in a blue moon.  Donnie just accepts Mikey’s invitation to listen as exactly that--he probably won’t be able to pinpoint any problems, but he’s a perfect sounding board.  But if Donnie has a friend who knows what they’re talking about, that’s even better, right?

Like Raphael, he wants his brother to know he’s irreplaceable, but he goes about it by talking Donnie up instead of talking the newcomer down.  He may not remember how to correctly solder the components to a PCB, but he knows most of what his brother can do with scrap and trash is impressive.  Besides, there’s plenty to love about the Don-tron without boiling him down to his technical abilities.  How messed up would that be, to love your own brother for his usefulness and nothing else?

The exception is the genius in question being an ass, in which case he joins forces with Raph to rag on them at every opportunity.  It’s not mean, really!  He’s just performing an act of public service by keeping them humble.  They’ll thank him later, when they’ve been kicked down enough pegs to realize what a jerk they were being.

[pines-troz]

Those We Hold Dear - Animaniacs/Pinky and The Brain Oneshot

Summary: An introverted Brain finds himself feeling lost during the holiday party on the Warner Movie Lot. He manages to find some respite upon finding a pool table in the abandoned rec room. When Yakko unexpectedly invites himself in, the two engage in some casual conversation, then slowly open themselves up as they talk about their loved ones. 

This story includes mild doses of Brinky and Non-Binary Wakko with he/they pronouns. 

Word Count: 7,969

TW: Brief mentions of trauma, animal testing, and alcohol

Includes spoilers from the Animaniacs Reboot and references to the Pinky and The Brain spin-off cartoon. 

Special thanks to @themurphyzone for beta reading!

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714374

Beginning AN: This fic was written because there aren’t enough stories where Pinky and The Brain interact with the Warners, and I feel like there’s so much untapped potential in terms of interesting character dynamics and I wanted to explore that with this story. I hope you enjoy this self-indulgent and very heartwarming fanfic. 

As Christmas time drew near, The Warner Brothers movie lot was bustling with the spirit of the holiday season. Studios were dressed in Christmas decorations, and classic Christmas songs played over the speakers. And in the heart of the studio, the WB office was holding a special holiday party for the cast and crew of the Animaniacs reboot. Pinky and the Brain were among the invited guests, and the two mice strolled through the movie lot together as they made their way to the party. 

Brain shook his head, still in disbelief that he and Pinky worked as part-time actors, and even more so that they were asked to return for the Animaniacs reboot after the original show had been off the air for over twenty years. 

The small mouse remembered back in the early 1990s, when one of his initial plans for world domination involved him and Pinky breaking into the Warner Bros. studio to broadcast his homemade propaganda film. But while they infiltrated the studio, they were spotted by a small group of writers. When Brain explained in earnest that he and Pinky were ‘genetically altered lab mice trying to take over the world’, the writers were so amused and inspired that they brought the lab mice over to meet the studio executives and were hired right on the spot.

While having to act out failed plans to take over the world felt like a slap to the face at times, Brain quickly found the positive aspects of working on a popular television show. He and Pinky worked on set a few days a week (which saved them from having to undergo more painful experiments from the scientists at Acme Labs), they got along well with the other cast, crew, and various workers on the Warner movie lot. The mice also received truck loads of fan mail and fan art from viewers (and they put in the effort to express their gratitude by writing back to as many letters as they could), attended conventions even long after the show went off the air, and were invited to cast parties. 

As much as Brain enjoyed seeing Pinky having a ball at the cast parties, he himself admittedly detested large social gatherings. If world domination was at stake, then Brain would be more motivated to be sociable; rubbing elbows with politicians, manipulating powerful individuals to do his bidding, and being one step closer to planetary conquest. 

But Brain had no schemes up his sleeve. No ulterior motives, hidden agendas, or feasible plans for world conquest tonight. The mouse had put off all plans to take over the world off the table during the holiday season after having read Pinky’s unsent letter to Santa that fateful Christmas. From that moment on, Brain vowed to ignore his own lofty ambitions during the holidays and to put more focus on making Pinky happy.  

The mice made sure to dress appropriately for the holiday party. Brain donned a red sweater and dark green pants. Simple festive colors, but nothing overly garish. Pinky, however, went above and beyond in his party attire, as he wore a green dress with candy cane prints all over and sparkly red shoes. Once they walked past the office doors, they approached the elevator. Brain retrieved his limb-enhancing device and pressed the button, which opened up the doors, and the two mice entered the elevator. Brain used the device again to hit the button for floor nine, and the elevator moved upwards. 

“Oh this is going to be so much fun, Brain!” Pinky chirped, flapping his hands with excitement. 

“Well if you’re happy, then I’m happy.” Brain affirmed, keeping a calm and orderly demeanor. 

Once they reached the right floor, they exited the elevator and approached the large event space where the party was held. As they approached the doorway, they were immediately greeted by Yakko, who wore a red and white striped blazer in addition to his usual brown slacks. 

“Hey, Pinky and the Brain!” Yakko greeted as he waved at them. “How are the fan favorites doing?” 

“We’re doing well for ourselves, Yakko-” Brain’s response was interrupted when he felt a giant wet smooch on his left cheek. He looked over his left to see Pinky smiling at him. The smaller mouse looked at his roommate with a shocked and irritated expression. 

“Pinky!” Brain berated his companion, as his cheeks began to flare up. “I told you, no frivolous displays of affection outside of the lab!” 

“Poit! I’m sorry Brain, but, you were standing right under the mistletoe, and I just couldn’t help myself!” Pinky explained with a joyous giggle as Brain wiped off the saliva from the side of his face. The intelligent mouse looked up above only to find that dreaded yuletide plant taped to the doorframe. 

“Hey sibs! The power couple just arrived!” Yakko addressed his younger siblings. Brain fumed at the eldest Warner boy, who shrugged and flashed a playful smile back at the mouse. 

Dot arrived on cue, followed by Wakko, who greedily shoveled all the contents of the plate of appetizers (and the plate) into their mouth. The younger Warners dressed appropriately for the festive occasion. Wakko wearing an oversized blue sweater with a sequin snowman, and their iconic backwards red cap had elf ears taped to each side. In addition to her pink skirt, Dot wore a white sweater with a colorful Christmas tree and a reindeer antler headband. 

“Pinky!” Dot greeted happily, skipping merrily towards the taller mouse. “Oh you look so adorable!”  

Pinky jumped for joy as the Warner sister picked him up. “Oh, why thank you Dot. Zort! I actually had a little help from Brain. He used his knit-o-matic machine to put the dress together!” 

Dot turned her attention over to Brain, who was still standing beneath her. “Hello Brain! Don’t go thinking that I forgot about you.” She said, giving a couple pats to his large head. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Brain bantered, but lost his guard when the middle Warner sibling scooped him into their hands. 

“Oh what joy, Brain is here!” Wakko cheered, lifting Brain up in the air as he twirled around. “I was thinking about going around the movie lot and belching my favorite Christmas carols later tonight. Would you care to join me?” 

“A tempting offer, but I’m afraid I have to decline.” Brain gently rejected. 

“Okay, but the offer still stands if you change your mind!” Wakko insisted. 

“Very well. Now would you be so kind as to put me down? I’m going to head on over to the refreshments table.” The mouse said. 

“Say, I was going to grab some snacks too! And maybe we can eat over at the table together!” Wakko proclaimed, carrying the mouse as he made their way to the refreshments table. 

“Well, I would be delighted to keep you company.” Brain answered honestly. 

The mouse tried to keep his favoritism hidden, but of all the cast members he worked with, he enjoyed being with the Warners the most. While they may be a nuisance to the humans on the movie lot, they were quite friendly with most of the animal actors on the set. Brain was quite enamored with Yakko’s comedic banter, Wakko’s silliness, and Dot’s wit and charm, and while they playfully teased him on occasions, it was never out of any malice. But the one aspect he enjoyed the most was that they were never judgemental of him or Pinky. 

Brain picked up the smallest plate from the stack and started picking out one of each cheese, a deviled egg, the second-to-last pig in a blanket, two baby carrots, and a jumbo shrimp. Wakko swooped in from behind, taking the last the last pig in a blanket and gobbled it up. 

Brain looked over at the line of wine glasses and the various wine bottles behind them and figured that he could go for a nice glass of red wine. Despite his short stature, Brain found an easier way to access the alcohol as he spotted Ralph the security guard (who may or may not be off-duty), grabbing a handful of jumbo shrimp. 

“Pardon me, Ralph.” Brain addressed the dim-witted security guard. 

Ralph turned his head and looked around for a few moments before spotting Brain. “Duh, oh hi Blaine.”

“Actually, it’s Brain.” The small mouse corrected. “Could you do me a small favor and pour me a glass of the pinot noir.” 

The security guard looked over at the wine bottles, scratching his head in bewilderment.  

“It’s the reddish bottle with the picture of purple grapes on it” Brain curtly explained in layman’s terms

“Oh, uh right!” The imbecilic security guard affirmed. He grabbed the specific bottle and poured a little too much wine into the glass, filling it almost to the top. The mouse did not care that he had an excessive amount of wine. Lord knows that he needs enough alcohol in his system to get through this social gathering. 

“Thank you, my good man.” Brain said politely. 

“But wait a minute, how are you gonna drink from the glass?” The security guard asked. 

“Already accounted for.” Brain reached into his pocket and pulled out a green swirly straw custom made for himself. 

Wakko walked over to Brain, carrying two full trays of appetizers. The middle Warner sibling marveled at the swirly straw. “You have great tastes in straws.” He carefully picked up Brain and placed him on top of their red hat. Wakko managed to carry his own plates, Brain’s plate and the wine glass with relative ease as he waltzed over to the table. 

“Thank you, Wakko.” Brain said gratefully. 

“Your welcome! Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to hear about how I found myself in Paris?” The middle child asked. “I want to tell someone else besides my siblings about all the fun adventures I had.” 

“Yes, I would love to hear some amusing anecdotes from your vacation.” Brain replied. The intelligent mouse was well aware that Wakko can be very passionate and talkative when it came to their interests, so he decided to validate the middle child with attentive ears. 

Brain listened intently as Wakko continued to talk about their trip. The intelligent mouse felt relieved that he wasn’t the one who had to initiate the conversation. He could simply provide Wakko his undivided attention and listen to them reminisce over their trip to Paris. This was splendid!

“I visited the Eiffel Tower, The Louvre, and Notre Dame, but only from the outside.” Wakko said wistfully. 

“The fire of Notre Dame was awfully devastating.” Brain added. “Forgive me if this comes off as a boast, but when Pinky and I visited Paris years ago we were fortunate enough to go inside the cathedral and climb the tower.” 

“Really!” Wakko exclaimed, who was rather excited by Brain’s vacation story. “Oh, do you have any pictures?”

“Well of course! Just let me just find the vacation album on my phone.” Brain said, as he tried to retrieve his smartphone from his pocket. 

“Oh, I forgot to mention how wonderful the crepes were!” Wakko added. “I had strawberry crepes, banana and nutella crepes, some egg and cheese crepes,”

But Wakko’s infodumping came to a crashing halt when Yakko stormed over to the table. “Wakko, did you take the last pig in a blanket?” The Warner brother interrogated. 

The middle Warner sibling glanced guiltily towards Brain then back at their sibling. “Maybe?” The eldest Warner still held his suspicious glare at him, until Wakko finally gave in. “Yeah…” 

“I knew it!” Yakko declared as he proceeded to put his sibling in a headlock, dragging them away from the table and into the center of the room. Wakko broke free and a battle between the older Warner siblings broke out. 

“Oh, this oughta be rich!” Dot devilishly commented. She quickly grabbed her smartphone from her pocket and filmed the action. 

Pinky was thrilled by the sudden action and further enabled the sibling rivalry. “Go, go! Give ‘em the ol’ one-two!” The mouse laughed maniacally as he punched the air. “Narf!”

Brain ruefully shook his head at the sibling shenanigans that took place. The small mouse knew better than to get involved, lest he wanted to be squished like a pancake or smacked so hard that he would crash onto the drywall. He found himself all alone again. He finished up his plate of appetizers when he noticed the new CEO, Rita Nortia, taking her place on the other side of the table. 

The mouse suddenly felt compelled to speak with her. After all, she did play a significant part in hiring him and Pinky back for the reboot when they could have been cast off like the majority of his fellow cast members from the original show. 

“Alright Brain, this is going to be a long party and you have to at least try to be sociable.” He told himself. The mouse then took a considerably long sip of wine to work the courage to speak to his new boss. 

“Hello, Ms. Nortia.” Brain addressed, trying his best to sound friendly. 

The CEO looked over at the mouse with an indifferent expression. “Wait a minute, I know you, you’re one of the mice playing second fiddle to those pesky Warners….Bran, is it?”

“Actually, it’s The Brain,” The mouse corrected, but suddenly changed his tone as he did not want to come off as bossy in front of his boss. “but I’m perfectly content with being addressed as Brain, if that’s most convenient for you. A-and I wanted to thank you again for including Pinky and myself in the reboot.” 

“Sure, sure. You two were one of the more memorable parts of the original show.” Rita Norita replied, sounding rather unenthused. After a moment of awkward silence between the two, the CEO spoke up again. “Was there anything else you wanted to say?” 

Brain was sweating nervously, feeling like a total waste of space. He could tell that she was a busy woman who was more occupied with work-related interests. The mouse tried his hardest to come up with an interesting topic of discussion. The weather? No, too cliche. The hottest Netflix shows? No way. He couldn’t bring up the competition in front of his boss. Those ridiculous Tik Tok videos that Pinky wouldn’t stop blabbering about? If he didn’t understand the appeal of those, what were the chances that the CEO would. The only other thing he could possibly bring up was-

“So, how about those sports?” Brain asked with a nervous smile. 

Rita Norita stared blankly at the mouse. “What about them.” 

Brain was caught tongue-tied. He didn’t know enough about the current state of any American sports team, so he decided to take a leap of faith and try to discuss the one sport he loved. 

“Well, uh, would you be interested in hearing about the beauty and intricacies of rhythmic gymnastics?” Brain asked with a sheepish smile. 

As the CEO was about to give another dry response, she was interrupted when a group of sharply dressed business people walked over to her. 

“Ms. Norita, we have some very important business information to discuss with you.” One of them said. 

“Finally, a riveting topic of discussion.” She exulted, immediately getting up from her seat. She shot a quick glance at the mouse. “You’ll have to excuse me, but I have more pressing matters to tend to.” 

The CEO left the table with the other white-collar workers, leaving Brain to his own devices. The mouse propped his head up as he stared into his empty plate of appetizers, desperately trying to forget the mortifying conversation. If dying from embarrassment was possible, then Brain would already be in Heaven surrounded by an angelic choir of Pinkys. 

“Hey Brain!” 

Upon hearing the cockney accent he was so familiar with, he looked over his shoulder only to find Pinky taking off his dress and diving straight into the punch bowl. Through the clear glass, Pinky was happily swimming underneath the punch for a few moments. Once he broke through the surface, the tall mouse was giggling contentedly and he propped himself up on the side of the bowl to talk to his roommate. 

“Oh Brain, you should try this!” The buck-toothed mouse called out. “The water is so refreshing!” 

“No thank you, Pinky.” Brain replied, shielding his face from his roommate. He took another peek at the taller mouse. Pinky looked like a complete buffoon, but he looked like he was having the time of his life, swimming in the punch bowl without a care in the world. Brain, on the other hand, felt completely lost and isolated despite being surrounded by a sea of party-goers. 

Brain walked away, trying his best to participate in small talk. Things seemed to look up when the Mime arrived. 

“I suppose making small talk with someone who can’t talk back is better than not making small talk at all.” Brain pondered. 

“You there, Mime!” Brain approached the silent performer. The Mime looked back at Brain and smiled back, giving him a friendly wave. The mouse’s self-esteem was starting to rebound. 

“Say, do you want to hear a science joke?” Brain asked. The Mime gave an eager nod in response. 

“Okay, well here it goes: One tectonic plate was walking along, bumps into another tectonic plate and said ‘Oops, sorry, my fault!’” Brain began to laugh heartily at his own joke, closing his eyes as he chuckled. 

Once his laughter wore off, Brain looked over at the Mime simply shook his head while wearing a confused frown, shaking his head. The mouse assumed that the Mime did not get the joke. 

The Brain felt defeated and gave a beleaguered sigh. “Well, I apologize for wasting your time.” The small mouse placed his hands into his pockets and walked off. 

The intelligent mouse felt lost. With no plan for world domination to focus on, there was no important reason to mingle with the other guests. He decided to find the Warners and seek companionship from them. But he was disappointed when he witnessed the three keeping Ralph occupied in an intense game of ‘Monkey in the Middle’. The Warners wore mischievous smiles as they threw the security guard’s cap around much to the frustration of the bumbling officer. Brain could not bring himself to join in their merriment. Without his robotic man-suit, he could not possibly bring any meaningful contribution to the fun and would only stick out as a useless fifth wheel. 

And he did not have the courage to try to strike up a friendly conversation with the other party-goers. His brief talks with Rita Norita and The Mime were proof that even when he shared his interests and musings to them, they could never reciprocate because they’re not on the same intellectual wavelength as he was. 

No, he was only fooling himself. Perhaps the reason why felt high and dry was that he just could not relate to other people. 

Brain watched Pinky, now back in his Christmas-themed dress, entertaining a few guests with his spit bubbles. The small group laughed at his ridiculous display. The taller mouse was completely in his element, charming people with his ‘fun-fun silly-willy’ antics. That feeble-minded fool made it look so easy. 

“Perhaps Pinky is better off with other people.” 

Brain furiously shook his head at the awful thought. “No, no, no. You’re just exhausted from attempting to socialize, that’s all.” He told himself. “Yes. All I need is a break, a place where I could temporarily wind down and recharge my energy before returning to the festivities.” 

Brain walked down the hall in search for a place to ponder. 

As he wandered down the hallway, he discovered an empty recreation room complete with a billiards table, a dart board, a stack of used board games, and a leather sofa. The pool table was pristine, with the fifteen balls gathered in their triangular shape and the cue ball standing on the other side. Brain decided to take the opportunity to play a game of pool against himself. The mouse picked up an unsharpened pencil from the bureau, climbed up the leg of the pool table and made his way to the top. 

The mouse hopped off the wooden edge and onto the green walked baize, the tender felt brushing up against his feet with each step. Once he approached the cue ball, the mouse used the unsharpened end of the pencil and struck the white ball as hard as he could. He was not surprised that the cue ball lightly struck the top third of the fifteen balls ever so slightly.

“This is going to take a while…” Brain muttered to himself. “Fortunately, I don’t have anything better to do.” 

The mouse observed the playing field, and noticed a solid red ball lingering near a corner pocket. Charging his pencil against the cue ball much harder this time, he saw the white ball glide down the table, hitting the red ball right into the pocket. Now all he had to do was strike the other solid-color balls into the pockets. 

Fifteen minutes had passed since he started his solitary game of pool, and he only had three balls left. Wiping off the beads of sweat from his forehead, he looked over at the clock that was perched above the sofa. The mouse doubted that the other party-goers would be aware of his absence. Maybe Pinky would be too busy mingling with the other guests to even realize that he was gone. 

“Some party, huh?” 

Brain was startled at the sudden inquiry, his ears perking upwards. He turned around only to find Yakko Warner leaning against the doorway.

“Yakko….” The mouse grumbled. He feared that the boy would continue teasing him by bringing up the incident under the mistletoe. “Shouldn’t you be off terrorizing a certain psychiatrist?”

“Oh, you mean Dr. Scratchinsniff? He won’t be dropping by until around seven.” The eldest Warner sibling explained as he waltzed into the room. “So what are you doing here all by your lonesome?”

“As a reserved and introverted soul, social gatherings aren’t my cup of tea.” Brain confessed. “If world domination was on the line, then I would be more involved. But being forced to make idle prattle with co-workers in a secluded space can be quite tiresome.” 

“I gotcha.” Yakko nodded, seeming to understand Brain’s plight. 

“And how did someone as sociable as yourself wander astray from the festivities?” Brain inquired. 

“I had to use the john.” Yakko answered frankly, pointing his thumb towards the door. “I was going to return to the party, but I heard the sound of a pool game going on and just had to investigate.” 

“Excellent detective work, Hercule Yakko.” Brain remarked, to which Yakko chuckled in response. 

“Say, can I join in?” The eldest Warner asked as he walked over to the racks. “It’s been a while since I played pool and you look like you could use a little company.” 

“The more the merrier.” Brain dryly responded as he struck the cue ball with his pencil. 

Yakko found a suitable cue stick and walked over beside Brain. He observed the pool table, noting the striped balls outnumbered the solid balls. 

“So I’ll be aiming for the striped ones then?” Yakko asked. 

“Correct.” Brain responded defeatedly. While he wished to finish up his solo game, he didn’t have it in him to tell the eldest Warner to leave. 

Yakko carefully aimed his cue rack at the cue ball and fired away. He managed to hit two striped balls straight into the pocket. He then made another successful shot and hit two more striped balls into the opposite pocket. Feeling confident and theatrical, Yakko turned around and managed to hit another striped ball into a pocket without looking. He looked over at the playing field and back at The Brain. “Well, you got trouble my friend.” He quipped. 

Brain looked up at Yakko for a moment before looking back at the pool with a grimace. After a moment of awkward silence, the eldest Warner spoke up again “Get it? Because we’re playing pool and I was referring to-”

“Yes, yes, I’ve seen The Music Man before Yakko, there’s no need to explain the joke.” Brain interrupted. 

“So was the joke not funny?” Yakko asked with a twinge of worry. 

“The joke was perfectly fine.” Brain assured upon noticing the boy’s sudden anxiousness. “I’m simply frustrated with my current state in the game and fear that the outcome won’t be in my favor.” 

“Oh, is it because you’re a mouse? I can try to make some accommodations so that we’re playing on even grounds.” Yakko kindly suggested. 

“No, no. The last thing I want is to be patronized and pitied.” Brain snapped, sounding more harsh than he intended. 

Yakko backed off upon seeing the mouse’s frustration.“Okay, whatever floats your boat.” He replied defensively. 

Brain’s face softened a bit, feeling guilty that he was a bit too hard on the boy. “If it’s any consolation, I have problems with my joke deliveries as well.” Brain lamented. “I tried telling The Mime a science joke earlier, but it fell flat.” 

“Which one?” Yakko queried out of curiosity. 

Brain fought his insecurities and mustered up the courage to tell the joke again. “One tectonic plate was walking around, he bumps into another tectonic plate and said-”

“‘Oops, I’m sorry, my fault’!” Yakko enthusiastically joined in as the punchline was delivered. The boy clapped his hands and started chuckling. “Ah, natural disaster humor.” 

Brain softly smiled. Yakko missed this time around and Brain hopped back on the table, figuring out the best course of action to keep up with Yakko’s pool playing. After a couple minutes of playing in companionable silence, the intelligent mouse decided to throw an ice-breaker question to liven the mood. 

“So Yakko, how have you and your siblings been doing lately?” The Brain asked in earnest. 

“We’ve been doing swell!” Yakko answered in a chipper tone. “I mean, sure, we had our fair of challenges adapting to the current trends after being frozen in suspended animation for twenty-two years, but what can ya do?”

Brain looked a little concerned at the boy. The last time he and Pinky saw the Warners was in 1998, when they attended a cast party after filming of Wakko’s Wish had wrapped. During those years, Brain was consumed with his contributions to the age of the internet while Pinky attended his therapy sessions. All that time spent focusing on his world domination scheme and he forgot about his fellow cast members and all the good times they shared together. When Brain and Pinky received the fateful phone call from Warner Brothers that they and the Warners would be the only returning cast members for the Animaniacs reboot, he was worried that they would be mad at him for not keeping in touch. But when they arrived on set, the Warners were simply happy to see them again. But the Brain lost his train of thought when he heard Yakko speak up again. 

“Not to mention the staggering amount of pop culture we’ve missed out on.” Yakko added. “Hey, did you know that there were two movie adaptations of How The Grinch Stole Christmas within the span of two decades?”

“Oh I’m well aware of that. Pinky actually dragged me to see both movies in the theaters.” Brain recalled. “And as you would expect, the feeble-minded fool thought they were cinematic masterpieces.” 

“Outside of trying to stay relevant, we’ve been doing some fun sibling projects on the side, like this sculpture of Giuseppe Acrimboldo made entirely out of fruit!” Yakko happily reminisced.

“You mean, the famous sixteenth century Italian mannerist portrait artist Giuseppe Acrimboldo?” Brain inquired enthusiastically. 

“Yeah, I managed to get a picture before that awful bun infestation got to him.” Yakko grabbed his phone and showed a picture of their sculpture. 

“That’s quite impressive.” Brain marveled. While the mouse was not present during the awful bun infestation, he had heard stories of the incident from his co-workers. He could only imagine Pinky having a field day with the mass quantities of bunnies.

“I even had a whole song written about him too!” Yakko added. 

“Well, I’m always eager to hear another one of your classic educational ditties, Yakko.” Brain encouraged. “I’m all ears.” 

“I would if I could, but I forgot the majority of the lyrics.” Yakko forlornly replied. He picked up his cue rack and strategically planned his next move. 

“Oh..” Bran uttered. The mouse tried to find another topic to bring up, but couldn’t help but think about the Warner siblings being locked away from the world for the second time. The mouse tried to bring up the topic as delicately as he could. 

“Forgive me for prying, but can I ask you a question concerning your 22 year absence.” Brain carefully inquired. 

“Sure!” Yakko acknowledged as he struck the cue ball, hitting the eight ball into the pocket and winning the game.

“Do you recall anything during your hibernation?” The mouse questioned. 

“No, not really. The only thing I could remember was what happened before. After Wakko’s Wish wrapped, some studio bigwigs came up to me and my sibs. We were given the choice to either be cryogenically frozen or to be locked in the tower again. After thinking it over, I decided that being frozen in suspended animation was the better option. And the process wasn’t all that bad. It was like taking a really long nap.” Yakko answered truthfully. “And let me tell you, being frozen was a walk in the park compared to being trapped in the water tower for over sixty years.” 

Brain’s ears drooped when he heard the sadness laced in Yakko’s voice. 

“I love my sibs and would risk my life for them, but it was really hard having to watch over them without any assistance from the adults for decades.” The boy confessed. “I mean, I managed to get by just fine, but it was neither a bed or roses nor a pleasure cruise. During those years I had to come up with different ways to entertain my sibs and keep them occupied. I didn’t want them to start thinking about whether or not people missed them or were even aware that they’ve been cooped up for so long. One could say being trapped in that tower felt like-”

“Being an animal in a cage.” Brain quietly finished, feeling a deep sense of empathy for the boy. 

Yakko stared at the mouse, amazed by how understanding he was of his past trauma. “Well, yeah…” 

The Brain drew in a long breath and exhaled. “Believe it or not, I understand where you’re coming from.” He confessed, sitting on the edge of the pool table and holding the pencil in his arms.

The mouse could not believe what he was doing. In any other circumstance, Brain would never open up to his co-workers about his feelings or the past traumas he endured. Opening up meant being vulnerable. Being vulnerable meant feeling helpless and without control. He gripped the pencil tightly at the thought of not being completely in charge of himself. But Brain fought against his need to put up defensive barriers and decided to reveal his miserable and pitiful past if it meant providing the boy with some sense of solidarity. 

“I was once a young field mouse who lived a carefree and happy existence with my parents out in the wild.” Brain reminisced. “But I was separated from my family at a tender age when a group of Acme Lab scientists abducted me from my tin-can home. From that day forward, I was imprisoned in the laboratory where I was subjected to cruel, emotionally-scarring experiments and used as fodder in the name of science and human curiosity.” His voice trembled as he exposed his past to the eldest Warner, but he soldiered on. 

“The first friend I ever made was a hamster named Snowball, but when we went through the gene splicer, it had different effects on us. I gained advanced intelligence, while Snowball went mad with power, and we had a terrible falling out. But when it seemed that I was doomed to live the rest of my days isolated in the lab…” Brain paused for a moment and then continued. “But one day, a new lab mouse brought over to live with me in my cage. It was at that moment that Pinky entered into my life and...well, the rest is history.” He explained with a sad smile. 

Yakko listened in with sympathetic ears. He never thought that anyone could relate to the pain of having his freedom stripped away and being locked against his will. But he also admired the mouse’s courage to tell his story anyways. 

“Pinky really was my saving grace.” Brain admitted, aware of the affection in his tone. “His presence made being stuck in the lab more bearable. Sure, he may be imbecilic and dim-witted, but he’s also loyal, compassionate, and the best friend I could ever ask for.” After praising Pinky’s positive aspects, Brain’s smile slowly faded. “But sometimes I wonder why Pinky would want to be my friend, and other times where I feel like I don’t deserve to be his friend.” 

“Well, how come?” Yakko cautiously inquired. 

“Years ago, I promised Pinky that if I ruled the world, I would make it into a better place. A kinder place for social outcasts and marginalized individuals like him. But after so many years of trying and putting in the work, my destiny is still far from reach. And yet, he’s still standing by my side. It’s just...I don’t know what Pinky sees in me.” Brain sadly explained as he cradled the pencil in his arms. “Perhaps he’s much better off without me…” He sighed, letting the awful confession escape his lips. 

Yakko sadly frowned at the downtrodden mouse, but he quickly knew how to cheer him up. “Oh I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” 

“Well why not?” The mouse somberly asked. 

“Maybe the reason why Pinky is attached to the hip is because he loves you.” Yakko suggested. 

“Perhaps he does. His unquestioning loyalty to me is proof of that.” Brain pondered aloud. 

“...and that you love him back.” Yakko added with a sly smile. 

“What?” Brain cried out, sharply turning his head to face Yakko. “That’s preposterous! I don’t love Pinky, I merely….tolerate him.”

“Uh huh,” Yakko nodded, not buying his co-worker’s fib. “I guess your toleration must be pretty strong then.” 

Yakko placed the cue stick on the side of the pool and walked over towards the mouse.“I mean, who else would sacrifice their chance at world domination on Christmas, go to the depths of h-e-double hockey sticks to save the guy after he sold his soul so you could rule the world, reunite him with his entire family after years of separation, save him from quicksand by embracing your wild side, teach him about the Constitution and upholding the values that make up our country’s democracy, and tend to his aid after the poor guy got pulverized by some crummy humans.” The eldest Warner detailed as he counted all of Brain’s deeds on each finger. Brain’s ears drooped as he heard him recall all of his past heroics when it came to helping the friend he loved so dearly. 

“That’s going above and beyond for someone you merely tolerate, don’t you think?” Yakko concluded. 

“W-who told you all that?” Brain blurted in disbelief. 

“Pinky did.” Yakko answered honestly. “Why, just a few minutes after you left, Pinky started talking about all the great and amazing things you did for him. If you don’t believe me, the proof is in the pudding.” He fished out his phone from his pocket and showed Brain a video, with Pinky’s gleaming smile on the thumbnail. Yakko pressed play. 

Pinky was gathered around a few of the party guests on the couch. Wakko and Dot sat closely by his left, and Jay Pac Le East Tha Rapper by his right. 

“Poit! And when it came down to choosing the world or me, Brain chose me and decided to compete in rhythmic gymnastics to save my soul!” Pinky explained enthusiastically to his enchanted audience. “Oh you should have seen Brain! He looked so stunning in his marvelous blue spandex, prancing about oh so gracefully with his string-on-a-stick, and he scored a perfect ten! But that awful, no-good Mr. Itch cheated by rigging the competition in his favor and it seemed like Brain and I were doomed to be separated forever!”

Wakko and Dot gasped in shock and instinctively grabbed onto each other for comfort. Even Jay Pac was deeply invested in the story. 

“But it turned out that he didn’t deliver on his original promise to give me my radish rose whatchamawhozit, so I was able to be with Brain again!” Pinky happily concluded. 

Wakko stood up and applauded. “Oh how I love a happy ending!” 

“Wow, my respect for Brain just went through the roof.” Jay Pac commented. 

“You know, I never realized how cool Brain was until just now.” Dot admitted. 

“He sure is!” Pinky gushed. “Brain is smart, he never gives up on his dreams, he wants what’s best for the world, and he’s the best friend I could ever ask for. Zort! I love him so much, and I know that he loves me too!” 

“Pinky, can you tell us another story about The Brain?” Wakko asked enthusiastically, like a child wanting to hear another bedtime story. 

“Pretty please, Pinky!!” Dot begged, giving her cutest pout and fluttering her puppy-dog eyes. 

“Of course!” Pinky answered gleefully as he leapt up in the air and landed back on the couch. “Oh! I should tell you all about the time he helped me reunite with my mum, my dad, and my sis!”

As the video ended, tears started to pool in Brain’s eyes. He roughly scrubbed them away before they could fall, not allowing himself to become more vulnerable than he already felt. “Perhaps I don’t just tolerate him. Dare I say, I even like Pinky.” Brain half-confessed. He knew that he loved Pinky dearly, but he would never bring himself to verbalize his feelings. 

“Actions speak louder than words, buddy.” Yakko retorted. “But I totally get where you’re comin’ from, though. Wakko and Dot mean the world to me.” 

“Even though you wrestled your own sibling over something as petty as taking the last of your favorite appetizer?” Brain mentioned sardonically. 

“Alright, so I have a problem managing my Cain instinct, guilty as charged.” Yakko answered. 

“Sure, we drive each other bonkers sometimes, but at the end of the day, they’re still my sibs and I love them more than they could even know.” The boy smiled as he talked about his dearest siblings. 

“But I still can’t help but wonder, what might happen in the future, after the reboot.” Yakko pondered with concern. “What if Wakko and Dot decide to go out in the world and do their own thing? Would they still need me? Would they want me around? And I don’t know how I’d do without ‘em because they’re the only family I’ve got.” 

Brain felt his heart go out to Yakko. While the boy can be a nuisance and a smart alec, there was a lot of good in him. But he could also understand the boy’s fears. Yakko was as strongly attached to his siblings and his whole life revolved maintaining that relationship. The mouse pondered to himself until he found the best way to alleviate the boy’s worries. 

The small mouse walked over to the eldest Warner brother and gently placed his hand on top of his. “Well, there may come a time when the three of you will go your separate ways and lead  independent lives, but no matter how far apart you are, you’ll always maintain that strong familial bond.” 

Yakko gave Brain an intrigued look. “What makes you so sure?” 

“Pinky and I raised a son together.” Brain answered with a small smile. 

“Since when?” Yakko asked with a baffled look on his face. 

“It happened back in the late 90s. Roman Numeral One, or Romy for short. I initially planned to make a clone of myself and use him for global conquest, but one of Pinky’s errant toenails was muddled in with my DNA sample, thus creating a clone that modeled after the two of us.” Brain explained, still smiling as he reminisced. “Once Romy reached the age of reason, he departed from the lab and moved on to make a life for himself. Fortunately, Pinky and I are still on good terms with our son, and we would call him every now and again, just to see how he’s doing. And even though our boy is out in the world pursuing his own dreams, we still love him dearly and learned to maintain our familial bond despite the long distance between us.”

“So whatever happens in the future, I’m certain that you and your siblings will still be as thick as thieves.” Brain assured, giving the eldest Warner sibling reassuring pats on his hand. Yakko smiled back at the mouse’s kind gesture.

“But if you’re still uncertain about the future, I’ll guarantee this to you,” Brain added. “If I become the ruler of- no, no. When I become the ruler of the world, my palace doors will always be open for you and your siblings. And if any of you ever feel lost or lonely, Pinky and I will be more than willing to grant you companionship.” Brain offered his small hand out to the boy. 

Yakko was eager with the proposition. “Well Brain, I was already rooting for you to take over the world, but now I’m twice as invested! You got yourself a deal!” The eldest Warner enthusiastically shook the mouse’s hand. The Brain gave a hearty chuckle, amazed at the boy’s excitement and encouragement. 

“And Brain,” Yakko looked at the small mouse. “I’m really glad we had this talk...and thanks for everything.” 

Brain could tell that Yakko rarely opened up about his personal issues and musings to others, so not to trouble them or cause concern. But he could tell just how grateful the boy was for understanding and providing him with the comfort he needed. 

“You’re welcome, Yakko.” Brain quietly replied. 

“Well, I think that’s enough emotionally heavy conversations for one night.” Yakko commented, trying to sound as laid-back as possible. 

“Agreed. You know, I think I’m ready to return to the party and make a more admirable attempt at socializing.” Brain said with confidence. 

“That’s the spirit!” Yakko praised, giving him a thumbs up. 

As Brain and Yakko were putting away the billiards equipment, they heard three sets of footsteps approaching the rec room. Sure enough, it was Pinky, followed by Wakko and Dot. 

“Oh, there you two are! Narf!” Pinky exclaimed. 

“So this is where you two have been.” Dot addressed her brother and the mouse. 

“Yep, just us guys playing some pool.” Yakko answered half-honestly as he gestured towards his smaller companion. “You could say that we were getting along swimmingly.” 

Upon hearing the dad joke, Wakko and Dot retrieved their pun guns and shot their older brother on sight. Brain saw the yellow lasers fly through the room and hit Yakko, causing him to fall over on impact. The mouse looked on with concern. 

“I’m fine.” Yakko assured The Brain despite the obvious pain he was in. 

Brain returned his attention to his roommate and the other Warner siblings. “So what shenanigans have you three rascals been up to during our absence?” He inquired. 

“We gained access to the CEO’s movie screening room!” Dot answered. 

“There’s a big screen tv, a comfy leather couch, a snack bar, and everything!” Wakko added enthusiastically.

“Good work sibs!” Yakko complimented as he got back up on his feet. 

“Troz! And now that we found you two, we can all go there and watch The Grinch together!” Pinky joyfully declared. 

“Which one?” Yakko and The Brain asked in unison, knowing that there were multiple adaptations of the classic story and both secretly hoping that it was the 1966 animated special.

“The animated one, of course!” Pinky cheerfully replied.

“You need to be more specific, Pinky.” Brain added, praying that his friend was referring to the classic television special as opposed to the bland Illumination movie. 

“Oh, it’s the one with the Boris Karloff narration and the lovely songs!” Pinky gushed as he hugged himself. 

“Thank Heavens.” Brain replied, relieved that his roommate was referring to the former. “We would be delighted to accompany you three, right Yakko?”

“Oh absolutely!” Yakko replied. He carefully picked up Brain and placed him in the palm of his left hand before walking over to the others. He then knelt down and offered Pinky a ride on his right hand, to which he happily accepted. 

As Yakko followed his younger siblings to the private theater, he joined his hands together, bridging the divide between the two laboratory mice. Pinky immediately leapt over to Brain, enveloping him in a warm and welcoming hug. Brain decided not to recoil from Pinky’s affection and accepted the embrace. 

“Oh it’s good to see you again Brain!” Pinky exclaimed. “I missed you so much since you left, and I was getting worried that I was never going to see you again.” 

“It’s good to see you too, Pinky.” Brain kindly remarked. “I just needed to recharge after socializing. You know that I would never abandon my best friend in the whole world, right?”

“Your best friend? Where?” Pinky shouted worriedly as he looked over each shoulder.

Brain rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. “It’s you, Pinky. In addition to being my roommate and my assistant, you’re my best friend in the whole world.”

“Naarf.” Pinky awed, his eyes glistening with wonder. Overwhelmed with joy, the taller mouse decided to give his intelligent roommate an extra squeeze. “Well what a coincidence! It just so happens that you’re my best friend in the whole world, Brain!” 

“I know, Pinky.” Brain muttered as he patted the taller mouse’s back. “I know.” 

Unbeknownst to both mice, the Warners smiled warmly as they witnessed the sweet exchange. 

The Warners and the lab mice entered the private theater. Dot retrieved Pinky and the two went over to the couch, where she placed a pillow over her lap, giving Pinky a place to sit. Brain managed to get the Blu-Ray player running as Wakko grabbed a stockpile of snacks. Yakko turned off the lights to provide a more theatrical experience. Yakko carefully held Brain as he plopped down on the couch, sitting between his younger siblings. Yakko moved his hand over to Dot, who gently held Brain before placing him on the pillow alongside Pinky.

As the Christmas special started, Pinky scooted over to Brain to sit closer to him. Feeling Pinky’s presence and taking into account that they were nearly enveloped in darkness, Brain lifted himself and placed a gentle kiss on Pinky’s cheek. After settling himself back down, he carefully wrapped his arm around his roommate’s waist and pulled him closer. The taller mouse was taken aback by his roommate’s actions. Pinky stared at his best friend, who lovingly gazed at him with a soft smile. Brain couldn’t verbalize the love he held for Pinky, but he hoped his kind physical gestures spoke a thousand words. Pinky beamed at Brain in response and wrapped his arm around him. The two mice continued to gaze into each other’s eyes for a few moments longer before returning their attention to the television. 

Additional AN: Looking back on Animaniacs and the Pinky and the Brain spin-off as a person in her late-twenties, I’ve become fully aware of how both The Brain and Yakko deeply care about their loved ones to the point where they’re scared of the thought of being separated from them or seeing them hurt in any way. 

Yakko is so attached to Wakko and Dot, pretty much raised them at the tender age of 14, so I feel like he would have this lingering fear of being alone. Whether he’s separated from them or has the idea that they wouldn’t need him anymore. The reboot establishes Yakko’s insecurities of caring about what other people think and that he may not be as funny as he presents himself to be. I found this to be a fascinating aspect of his character, and I wanted to play around with that in the fic. 

The Brain, on the other hand, loves Pinky. Even if he can’t bring himself to admit it due to how emotionally constipated he is, his actions speak for him. Brain reading Pinky’s letter to Santa and being so moved that Pinky thinks so highly of him and is so supportive of him that he backs out of taking over the world even though he had the whole world under his command, The Brain literally going to hades to bring Pinky back because being the ruler of the world isn’t the same without him, Brain going out of his way to reunite Pinky with his family (even if it was for a scheme) and even using the gene splicer on them so they could understand each other, and Brain tending to Pinky’s aid when he’s beaten up by humans for being a mouse and changing his motives of world conquest to make the world and better and kinder place for Pinky and others who feel small. The reboot also has more moments where Brain chooses Pinky over a future version of himself, rescuing Pinky from being enslaved by a power-hungry toddler, and even trying to comfort him the best he could after his monster wife ran off with the other monster and the two of them perished upon falling down. There are also a lot of great hints of a slow-burn romance between the two, but I’m getting ahead of myself there. 

The biggest challenge I had writing this story that followed the lore of the characters. One headcanon I played around with is that Pinky and the Brain work as part-time actors and that the majority of the skits (especially the history-based ones) were made for the show, while the events that took place in Pinky and the Brain spin-off and certain episodes from the reboot (Of Mice and Memes,Future Brain, and Roadent Trip) actually occurred in the show’s universe. 

Also there are aspects of the reboot that I purposefully left out, such as Brain being super evil and Pinky being a passive enabler(*cough cough* episodes 3 and 8 *cough cough*) and Pinky having daddy issues since they conflict with their established characterizations from the PATB spin-off. 

I also wanted to provide some sort of explanation as to what the Warners were up to during the past 22 years. So I figured that having them frozen in suspended animation was the more logical choice. I also came up with the idea that they had to choose between staying frozen or being locked in the water tower again for added drama. 

Overall, I had a lot of fun writing this story. It’s been a long time since I last publicly published fanfiction since there was a lot going on in my personal life and I was too busy and I didn’t feel entirely motivated to write. But upon rewatching old episodes of Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs, and watching season one of the Animaniacs reboot has reawakened my creative muse and motivated me to write, and I do plan on writing more stories centered around these characters. 

Please leave a review if you can! Thanks for reading!

[tackyink]

Just fandom climate musings

A couple of days ago I was talking to one of my best friends, someone I met online almost twenty years ago. She has a big twitter following and regularly interacts with young fans, and while I’ve been looking at this age segregation of fandom with bafflement from afar, she regularly sees teenagers who think life is over at 25. They have sort of a life plan of being in fannish spaces until they’re “old” (early 20s) and then retiring to be Serious People with Serious Responsibilities and No Hobbies Allowed. And they feel miserable about it. They dread birthdays. Even people who are living less than stellar teenage years feel like they are in their prime and and everything in life will be awful as soon as they hit 20.

I think the pressure minors feel to isolate from adults in neutral fannish spaces is ironically making them more vulnerable. On one hand, they get bombarded with messages of stranger danger at the same time they are made to disclose personal details nobody has any business knowing to gain the trust of the group. On the other, they don’t get to see what they can grow up to be.

Back in the day (please shoot me), before social media, I used to hang out in nerdy forums, and the members’ ages ranged from early teens to late thirties. From reading the forums, nobody could know this, because no one gave their real age, name or location, and nobody posted a single miserable picture. Every now and then, someone would suggest to meet up. We organized the finer details through private messaging and posted an open invitation on the forums. Some people confirmed. Some showed up unnanounced. We met in very public places. Older people who knew the area best showed us where the nerdy stores were, shared fansub VHS tapes, brought us to cheap restaurants with good food, and after the day was over we all headed our separate ways, and we still didn’t know the others’ real names, exact ages, or where they lived.

They were regular adults. You wouldn’t be able to pick them out of a crowd. They had jobs, or were working on degrees, or both, and they also had time to hang out on weekends to go to comic stores and to discuss the latest Yu Yu Hakusho episode with us kids every other evening. I thought they were cool, and I assumed that, if I didn’t suddenly lose interest in anime, I would be like them in a few years. I’m not cool but I was right.

I grew up in those sorts of nerdy spaces, and there were always people looking out for us. They’d teach us how to spot fake material at conventions, where to find cosplay materials at a time when online shopping wasn’t a thing, they’d find us merch we jobless teens couldn’t get our hands on, and above all, they’d tell us who the creep was if they knew them or rescue us from them as soon as they detected a sleazeball.

Some of those adults introduced me to fanfiction. Another accompanied me to the first convention I cosplayed at. This same person took me and two of my friends on week long camping trips to another country when we were in our late teens. We were invited to every BJD picnic and tea party a group of older doll enthusiasts organized despite us not having any. We got to participate in a lolita fashion show because I knew the owner of a shop that was dressing the models and they needed people.

When you get to share a hobby with adults that just want to talk about nerdy stuff and dress up and have fun, the creeps become exceedingly easy to pick out from the crowd, and not just in person. And now that we’ve become the adults, it’s our turn to be on the lookout for people with bad vibes so we can tell the new people to be careful, and to show them that fandom is for life if they want it to be.

I think the current situation has a lot to do with the structure of social media, and how basically we are yelling into the void from our accounts and anybody can interact with us now. Small communities fostered different relationships (although there was always drama. Just not the dogpile & death threats type). I suppose with the rise of Discord the tendency will be back towards smaller groups. They’ll just be much harder to find. And I worry about the mindset many of these young fans have and that these closed spaces will reinforce the black-and-white mentality that’s become so prevalent these last few years.

[publiccollectors]

From the discussion “Towards A Self Sustaining Publishing Model” hosted by Printed Matter.

Some things I have learned in over 30 years of publishing since my teenage days as a zine maker, administrating my project Public Collectors, and from working in the group Temporary Services and our publishing imprint Half Letter Press.

I have just ten minutes to speak. If only one or two things that I share are useful, that’s plenty! It took me decades to understand some of this stuff.

Use every exhibition invitation with a budget to print something. Use the whole budget to print something. Make something in a large enough print run so that you have something to give away and surplus that you can sell. Your publication can be a folded sheet of paper, a booklet, a newspaper, a poster, a book, or anything in between.

Be able to print at least something at home. Buy a cheap laser printer or inkjet printer, find a used copy machine, buy a RISO or some other duplicator, carve something into a potato or a piece of foam and print it. Being able to do at least some of the printing and production at home—even if it’s on a tiny scale—will compel you to print things that you might have convinced yourself not to send out or bring to a professional printer. Hopefully the ability to print impulsively and compulsively will result in good work. Figure out how to keep making things on every scale. Look for cheap used printing equipment on Craigslist. Team up with friends and buy equipment together that you can share. Start a printing collective in your basement.

Ideally your publication should cost 1/5th or 1/6th of the retail price to make. If you sell a $10.00 publication through a store, you are probably only going to make $6.00 or less after the store takes its cut. So ideally your $10.00 book costs $2.00 or less to make. Don’t aim to just break even. Aim to make a profit so you can keep making more publications and pay for your life. Publishing will probably never be your sole income but don’t lose money on purpose. Make things that are priced fairly and look like they justify what they cost to buy. The fact that you didn’t find a more affordable way to print something is not an excuse to sell something that feels cheap and shitty for a ridiculous sum of money. Good cheap printing is easier to find than ever before. Do your homework.

Figure out the cheapest and least wasteful ways to do everything. Ask other publishers where they get their work printed. Look for local printers so you can avoid shipping fees. Ask local printers if you can pay in cash for a discount. Ask printers if there is a cheaper way to do what you want to do by adjusting the size of your paper or the paper stock or some other small shift in form. If you print things yourself, buy the paper that is on sale. Design a publication around the paper that you found for cheap. Discount warehouses sometimes have good paper. Even dollar stores sometimes have good paper. I’ve even bought paper at flea markets. Costco sells an 800 sheet ream of 24 lb paper for $6.99. I use it all the time. It rules. I also recommend getting your jugs of organic olive oil there, but you can’t print with that.

Free printing is good printing. If you have access to free printing, use it. Free printing is like free food at art openings and conference receptions. It is one of those pleasures in life that never gets old. Come up with an idea that is based around the aesthetics of whatever free printing you have access to and make the publication that way. Eat the cheese and bread. Drink the wine. Make the copies at work.

Buy bulk shipping mailers on eBay. Find bubble wrap and other packing materials in the trash. Look out for neighbors who just bought new furniture—it’s usually wrapped in miles of packing material you can use for shipping books. Boycott terrible right wing fuckers like ULINE. Seriously, they give money to everyone horrible. Trump? Check. Ted Cruz? Check. Scott Walker? Check. ROY FUCKING MOORE? CHECK FUCKING CHECK! Tear up their catalogs and use them as packing material to protect your books. Make publications that have a consistent size so you can purchase cardboard mailers in bulk and get a discount on them. Buy packing tape in bulk. Buy everything in bulk. You can store your extra reams of paper under your bed or on top of your kitchen cabinets if necessary. Be like a wacko survivalist prepper, but for office supplies. Go to estate sales and look for the home office in the house. Buy the dead person’s extra tape and staples and rulers and scissors. I’ve been using some random dead person’s staples for years because I bought their staple hoard. Staples aren’t like meat and milk. They don’t expire.

I’m against competition. Try to avoid competing with other artists for resources. If you don’t truly need the money, don’t ask for it. Artists should have a section on their CV where they list grants they could have easily gotten but didn’t apply for because they are privileged enough that they don’t need the money as much as someone else. I almost never apply for anything but the one thing I do apply for and get every year is a part-time faculty development grant from Columbia College Chicago where I teach. It pays adjuncts up to $2,500 a year to fund their projects and seems to be completely non-competitive. My union negotiated to get us more money. I have used that grant to make over a dozen publications. The value of the publications I make and sell with each grant is about three or four times the value of the grant itself. Some years I make more from the grant than I do from the limited number of classes I teach. But I don’t depend on this grant to be a publisher and I’d still be able to make things without it.

Make things in different price ranges so everyone can afford your work, but also so that you can sustain your practice. Make a publication that costs $2.00, that costs $6.00, that costs $20.00, and make something special for the fancy ass institutional libraries that have a lot of money to spare and can buy something that costs $300.00. Likewise, make things in all different size print runs. Is there something you can print 1,000 of that you can keep selling and giving away for years, to enjoy that quantity discount that comes with offset printing a large number of publications?

Collaborate with people and pay them with publications (if they are cool with that) that they can sell on their own. Sometimes this ends up being better pay and more useful than an honorarium, and it helps justify a larger print run. But see what they need—don’t assume. Barter with other publishers and sell each other’s work and let each other keep the money. This helps with distribution. Sometimes it’s easier to sell their work than it is to sell your own. Help others expand the audience for their publications.

Fund your publishing practice by asking your friends who teach to invite you to talk to their college classes about your work. Use those guest speaker fees to print something. I sometimes tell people on social media: If three or four people will invite me to speak to their class, it could fund the entire next issue of X booklet series that you like so much. This has often worked. Also, sometimes their students end up ordering publications. Sometimes lectures about publications generate more income than the publications themselves.

Have an emailing list and write newsletters to announce new publications. Stay in touch with people who like what you do. Expect to spend a ton of time corresponding with people. Have some cheap things and cool ephemera on hand that you can send people for free when they mail order your publications. Reward people who support you directly with something nice that they didn’t expect. People like handwritten notes. It’s okay if they are very short but sign the packing slip and at least write “Thank you!”

Above all, know that publishing is a life journey and not a get rich quick scheme, or even a make very much money scheme. Enjoy the experience of meeting and working with others, trade your publications with other publishers and build up an amazing library of small press, hard to find artist books. Get vaccinated and travel and sleep on each other’s couches. Be generous with your time, knowledge, resources, and work. Tell Jeff Bezos to fuck off by never selling anything you make through Amazon. Find the bookstores that you love and work with them forever. It’s nicer to have deeper relationships with fewer bookstores than surface level interactions with dozens of shops run by people you don’t know.

Think about your publishing family. Bookstore people are your family. People that organize book fairs and zine fests are your publishing family. Other publishers are your family. People who follow your work for years on end are your family. Printers and binderies are your family. The postal workers that know you by name and that you know by name are your family. The person who doesn’t care if you make the free copies at work is your family. Over thirty years later, I’m still in contact with people I exchanged zines with through the mail when I was a teenager. In some cases I still haven’t met them in person. It’s fine! They are my family. Your students are your family—particularly once they graduate or drop out, as long as they continue making books and zines. Your family is your family, particularly if they value and support your publishing practice. And for this reason, this talk is dedicated to my late father Bruce Fischer, who let me use the company copier and postage meter when I was in high school, and to my mom who sat on the floor with me and helped me hand collate and staple my zines.

That’s what I’ve got for now. Stay in touch and with luck, and enough vaccines and masks and hand sanitizer, maybe I’ll see you at a book fair. – Marc Fischer • Thank you to Be Oakley of GenderFail for the invitation to present, to the other presenters Vivian Sming, Yuri Ogita, and Devin Troy Strother, and to the wonderful people at Printed Matter for hosting this! You should be able to find the video archived on Printed Matter’s YouTube Channel.  Presented on April 2, 2021

[blxckbutterfli]

Victor Grantz: Dearest Bunny

Image Credit

Summary: The truth is always hidden between the lines of a letter, but after Victor has been fooled once, how can he trust another letter?

Wordcount: 2.1k

Note: Female reader

Unedited

Hi! Hello!

So… you’re a postman, right Victor? You must walk or bike a lot, you even have a dog! Do you take him to exercise with you? What’s your dog’s name? It’s honestly so cute.

Anyway, I just wanted to write this letter because oooooh mystery person, and I heard that you don’t like social interactions much? I really want to be friends with you so I wanted to start out with something you’re comfortable with.

Good luck with your first match! Don’t get fooled by Michiko’s cute looks.

Victor gripped the letter in his hands until it turned white. Feelings of confusion stirred inside him--should he be happy he received a letter or suspicious of it? It sounded so genuine but he didn’t know if he could believe it anymore. The first letter he received also sounded just as friendly, however, that friendliness and sincerity were just a facade that he fell for. A facade that trapped him inside this horrible cat & mouse game.

He threw the letter in the fireplace with his dog whimpering beside him

.

Greetings,

You’re amazing! I heard it’s only your second match and you already won! I guess you could call it a... VictorY… Yeah, I know, I’m such a comedian.

You have natural talent I tell you, many of us here didn’t get wins until our 5th of 7th match. Also, I found out your dog’s name is Wick, that’s so adorable, it almost sounds like ‘Vick’ which is quite similar to your name.

I used to have a dog when I was little, it was a stupid little pomeranian that’d never stop running in circles, but either way, it was my stupid so I still love him with all my heart.

I look forward to playing matches with you in the future!

I look forward to playing matches with you in the future? That means he hasn’t played with them yet. Victor searched through his memory of who he played with in his first two matches. Andrew… Luca… He sighed in defeat, he didn’t think knowing who his teammates were was this important. 

A soft texture rubbing against his arm brought Victor out of his small misery, Wick rested his tiny body beside Victor’s leg. ‘Wick sounds similar to me, huh’ Victor thought as he gave his dog a small pat.

Victor placed the letter on the fireplace, deciding to burn it away later.

.

Why hello there,

You seem to be in a happier mood these days, I’m glad :D. When you first came to this mansion, I noticed that you looked really excited for some reason, like who would be excited to participate in a dangerous game? But then I found out that you were tricked and now I feel so bad for judging you so quickly. After you found out it was a trick, you were so gloomy all of the sudden so I wanted to cheer you up with these letters.

Is it working?

A big grin dared itself to stretch on Victor’s face but he tried his best to stay calm. This was the third letter sent to him by this person and so far nothing bad has happened. Once in awhile, he’d wake up and would see a letter laying near the door (it was most likely slipped under the door). It was always something positive, never bringing his mood down. Is this person really as bad as he thought they were?

Memories of the ‘sincere’ invitation letter flashed through his mind. No, he couldn’t get fooled again, he won't be an easy and weak-minded person. Victor used to think that conversations were pretentious and filled with lies and that letters were the hidden truth. Now, he doesn’t even know what is true or false anymore

Victor threw the letter, along with the previous one, into the fireplace.

.

Rise and shine because I’m here again!

You know I find it funny how right after I said you looked happier, you go right back to being gloomy. Am I that atrocious to you? Honestly, I can’t really tell if you’re acting gloomy just to spite me or if you’re actually sad. If you are actually sad… What’s wrong? Is there anything I can help with?

You can always send a letter back to me if you want to. Just get another paper, write whatever you want on it, and tape it under the piano. I’ll check there every day at noon to see if you sent something.

How can someone cruel write something as amiable as this? There were so much care and personality written into this one letter that Victor wanted to cry from guilt because of the previous burnt letters. 

The invitation letter he received was carefully crafted but it was also so… formal, no emotions, no feelings. Maybe he was blinded because it was his first-ever letter. The letter that Victor is now holding in his hands, the person behind it can’t be cruel and deceitful, not at all. If they were, they would’ve just continued spreading pretentious positivity and ‘happiness’ and just ignored his feelings.

One chance. Victor will give them just one chance, the moment he senses something bad about the letters is the moment he’ll burn all of them. No point in keeping bad memories alive.

Hello,

Thank you for being concerned about my well-being, I never really meant to bother you with my moods. It’s just that I’ve been… suspicious of these letters. Are they actually genuine or are they trying to trick me? After the invitation letter fooled me, I began having doubts about the truth written inside letters so when you sent those letters, I felt hesitant about them.

But I believe you now, you wanted to be friends? Then we’ll be friends! However, we can’t be friends unless I know stuff about YOU! I don’t know your name, age, or even gender, maybe you can give me some small hints as to who you are?

Was that good? Did he come off as too nosy? Despite delivering so many letters, he had never written one himself. Wick, as if the dog knew Victor’s feelings, barked and jumped like he was cheering on his owner. Victor smiled and made his way to the old piano.

.

Even after almost three months of repeatedly sending letters to each other, Victor only had one clue to what his mysterious friend’s identity was. They were female. Of course, when he read that letter, he started observing every single female inside the manor--he even went as far as observing the hunters much to his fear. No matter how much he observed and talked to them, none of the girls gave any hint of the identity of his sender.

This observation time helped Victor get closer to his fellow teammates. His original goal was to find out who his friend was, this involved talking to people and comparing their personalities to the one in the letter. While at first, he had no attachment to the irrelevant teammates, he warmed up to them over time. Of course, he still wasn’t as social as someone like William but it was a start.

Though Victor didn’t know their identity, he at least got to call them a name--Bunny. Bunny actually came up with the idea, it felt weird to be so close to a person yet not know what to call them so she made a list of nicknames and reasons to call her that:

Clown 🤡 because I’m much funnier than you

Buttercup because I just like that flower

Princess because no one can be the queen except for Mary

And Bunny because I’m cute as a bunny haha.

Of course, Victor laughed at all those choices and was even tempted to circle Clown, but Bunny stood out to him. It was cute, simple, and an animal. Victor loved animals!

Bunny… Victor can’t help but want to meet her.

.

Oh god, he’s so thirsty, and he forgot to fill up his water jug last night. Victor reached to his bedside table to feel for his watch. 6:17 the watch showed Victor’s tired eyes. The postman closed his eyes and sighed, why must his thirstiness wake him up so early?

Victor sluggishly got out of bed and weakly grabbed his water jug. At the door, he frowned when he realized Bunny’s letter didn’t arrive yet--Victor’s gotten used to waking up to Bunny’s funny letters every morning the past months.

Opening the door, Victor walked out and made a beeline to the kitchen

Finally, he got some water to quench his undying thirst. With his water jug filled to the brim with liquid, he walked back to his room--slightly more awake than before. His footsteps paused, however, when he turned a corner and noticed a figure standing in front of his door, Victor quickly stepped back and hid behind the corner.

Y/N? What is she doing here?

A grin was plastered on your face as you hummed a joyful tune, your mood always goes up whenever it was time to deliver your letter to the cute postman. You opened your letter one more time and re-read it to check for any silly mistakes. Victor watched in curiosity, from his angle, he couldn’t see what you were holding. Goosebumps rose all over Victor when he finally saw a letter within your hands.

Bunny… is Y/N?

You crouched down and quietly slipped the letter under his door, Victor should be asleep for another hour so it’s no worry if he’ll see you or not. That thought quickly went to vain when you stood up and was out of the blue grabbed by your wrist. Gasping, you instinctively thrashed about until you saw the cute yellow eyes that you’ve stared at every day.

“Oh, Victor! What are you doing here? Isn’t it too early to be awake-”

“Bunny?” Victor cut you off, you quickly shut up. Damn it, I thought I could slowly escape if I rambled enough. His innocent eyes bored deep into you which made you guiltily look away--how could you lie straight to his face? “Bunny? Is that… you?”

You slowly nodded and looked back up to his face which had gone from a small frowned to one of… joy and excitement? You let out a tiny squeak when you were suddenly slammed into Victor’s chest and was encased in a hug. “It’s really you, Bunny” Victor’s whispered into your hair--you smelled so nice, you felt so nice between his arms.

After a small pause, you finally returned his embrace, your arms wrapped around his body, “Yep, it’s me.” You pushed your way out of Victor’s hug--much to his disappointment--and twirled, “so, do I look as cute as a bunny?” You joked.

No, he thought, you were so much cuter than a mere bunny, so much more beautiful than a lonesome rabbit. Not only your appearance but your personality, the way you cared for him these past few months, you were an angel.

“Y/N,” he spoke your real name, “I love you.” He immediately covered his mouth when he let that phrase out. ‘What that heck? Why did I say that? I just met her!’ he scolded himself.

“What?” You gaped at him as he awkwardly distanced from you while scratching his neck. He stammered for words, not sure how to redeem himself after suddenly blurting the phrase out like a madman, one just doesn’t simply confess their love on the first meeting. “Victor, what did you say earlier?”

The cute postman barely responded to your question, you could see his lips barely move as he responded--or rather barely whispered--to your question. Victor’s face was flushed with red, he could barely look at you in the eye--actually, he couldn’t look at you at all. “I… loveyou.” It was quick, but what’s important is that you understood it.

A few seconds of awkward silence passed--which is also a few seconds of Victory dying inside--and you let out a small chortle. “I’m sorry… you just looked so cute when you were saying that,” you explained to him when you saw his perplexed expressions. You placed a hand on his cheek, brought his face down to your level, and kissed his forehead, “Of course, I love you too.”

Victor cried.

He didn’t mean to, but the emotions filling inside him wanted to spill so bad. He’d never felt such joy before, the man didn’t know how to deal with it so he just let it all out.

And so when you were fussing over his tears, Victor embraced you once again and thought of the many firsts he had with you.

His first genuine letter; his first friend; his first crush; and now… his first lover.

[besanii]

wwx + lwj being isolated together on their (largely empty) campus after being forced to return early from their study-abroad trips, living across the hall from each other, bored out of their skulls; lwj's set to pass the time reading his online textbooks, meditating, playing guqin; wwx's going out of his mind without proper access to his dorm room, studio space, and novel stimulation; eventually they open their doors, tape out the space of 6 feet, & sit in their doorways swapping songs + bonding

[Read on AO3]

Tap-tap-tap

Lan Wangji takes out one earbud and frowns in the direction of his closed door. There is a long pause during which no sound is heard and Lan Wangji is about to put his earbuds back in when it starts again.

Taptap-tap-tap

Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap…

Irritated, he storms over and yanks the door open, ready to snap at the offender, only to come face-to-face with…nothing. He blinks, confused, and moves to close the door again when he hears giggling from somewhere near the ground. He frowns.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

Wei Wuxian grins up at him from where he is splayed out on his stomach in the doorway across the hall and waves. His other hand is holding onto a long contraption made of a jumble of stationery haphazardly taped together that spans the entire width of the corridor, the end of which stops just short of Lan Wangji’s leg.

“Hiya, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian chirps. “I’d come closer but we’re not allowed.”

Lan Wangji feels a headache already starting to develop in between his eyes. He pinches the bridge of his nose to ward it off and sighs.

“What do you want, Wei Ying?” he asks. “I’m busy.”

Wei Wuxian sits up on his knees with a wide grin.

“Can I borrow a pen?” He shrugs. “I seem to have used up all my spares.”

Lan Wangji stares at him, and then down at the long pole of taped stationery still lying on the ground by their feet. The throbbing in his head grows louder, more insistent. He has lectures to listen to, notes to take, and he needs to practice. He doesn’t have time to entertain Wei Wuxian and his flights of fancy.

“Ridiculous,” he says, and slams the door shut.

–

The next day, the tapping starts again. This time, Lan Wangji is in the middle of practicing a new song on his guqin and only hears it when he stops to make a note on the score. He’s half tempted to ignore it and return to his practice, but he finds himself instead opening the door again to see Wei Wuxian sprawled on the floor, lounging back against the door frame.

He perks up when he sees Lan Wangji.

“Lan Zhan! Hi!” He scrambles to sit back on his heels when Lan Wangji moves to shut the door again. “No, wait, don’t go!”

Lan Wangji pauses, one hand on the door, and sighs.

“What do you want, Wei Ying? I’m—”

“—busy, I know,” Wei Wuxian finishes for him. He scratches the side of his nose with a sheepish expression. “Sorry, I promise I won’t bother you for very long. I just…I’ve been working on a new piece for class and I really need a second opinion on this one part and you’re the only one on this floor who’s also doing Composition 4505 so…”

Lan Wangji feels a twinge of guilt at the hopefulness in his tone. It’s been three days since the beginning of their confinement and while Lan Wangji is used to silence, he knows it must be difficult for someone as sociable and energetic as Wei Wuxian, who is used to hanging out with others and thrives on social interactions. He sighs again.

“Give me a moment,” he says, and drags his desk chair over to the door. He takes a seat facing Wei Wuxian and folds his arms over his chest. “Alright, whenever you’re ready.”

Wei Wuxian beams.

-

The next day, Lan Wangji opens his door before the tapping even begins. Wei Wuxian’s door is already open and he’s crouching, stationery pole in hand, ready to begin tapping. Instead, the tip of the pole (one of those jumbo-sized Sharpies Lan Wangji’s seen him use to make markings on posters and charts) taps Lan Wangji on the chest and he raises an eyebrow.

“Oops? Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says with a nervous chuckle. He starts pulling the pole back when Lan Wangji makes a grab for it. “Hey!”

“I’m confiscating this,” Lan Wangji tells him sternly. “So you can stop damaging school property.”

“But how am I supposed to get your attention?” Wei Wuxian complains.

Lan Wangji sets the pole just inside the door of his room.

“The door’s open,” he says. “Just call me.”

-

Wei Wuxian takes his now constantly open door as an invitation to call on Lan Wangji at all hours of the day. He insists that they eat together (it’s one of the stranger experiences of Lan Wangji’s life, sitting cross-legged in his open doorway facing Wei Wuxian doing the same across the hall), and asks Lan Wangji to listen to him practice the dizi and give him feedback. He surprises Lan Wangji one day by pulling out a stack of flashcards he’d made to help him study for one of the subjects they didn’t share.

“I had too much time and I couldn’t sleep,” he admits, “so I looked up your course notes. You have a quiz on Monday right? Maybe this will help?”

His cheeks are tinged pink and he twirls a lock of hair between his fingers as he makes himself comfortable on the floor, not quite meeting Lan Wangji’s eyes. Bashfulness is a rather…charming look on him, Lan Wangji’s heart decides, and skips a beat. He’s still staring at Wei Wuxian, trying to process this new bit of information, when Wei Wuxian cocks his head to one side and blinks up at him with confusion in those big, gray eyes.

Lan Wangji’s heart skips again.

Oh.

-

Two weeks pass by in a blur of shared meals, study and practice sessions across the hall, and those newly-awakened feelings only grow the more time he spends with Wei Wuxian. He’s also started paying more attention to his little habits and thinking them cute, although he’s no longer sure if it’s because of the feelings or if the feelings are because of those habits.

Wei Wuxian is fidgety and restless by nature and if he has to sit still for long periods of time, he’ll start twirling things in his fingers. Like a pen, or his dizi, or his hair. He also likes to chew on the ends of his hair when he’s deep in thought, which Lan Wangji finds really quite distracting; his fingers itch to brush away the lock of hair from his mouth, and then maybe replacing it with his own—

His ears burn and he has to turn back to his book to stop himself from staring at Wei Wuxian’s mouth. Luckily, Wei Wuxian is too busy humming to himself as he scribbles on a piece of paper to notice.

They’re eating dinner on their last night of enforced isolation when Lan Wangji finally admits to himself that he almost doesn’t want this to end. He likes spending time with Wei Wuxian, just the two of them; he likes seeing him in his pyjamas, buried in his notes, reading glasses (reading glasses!) slipping off the bridge of his nose as he twirls a pen in his hand. He likes listening to him talk while they’re eating, even though Lan Wangji himself doesn’t contribute much to the conversation. He likes the way Wei Wuxian smiles at him over the top of his laptop, eyes crinkling at the corners and nose scrunched up as he makes faces.

He just…really likes Wei Wuxian. 

He doesn’t know what to do with this information.

“Hey Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says, completely oblivious to Lan Wangji’s internal conflict. “What’s the first thing you’re going to do once we’re allowed outside?”

He’s chewing on the ends of his chopsticks, lips pursed in thought and Lan Wangji is transfixed. He barely even registers the question before his mind supplies the answer.

I’m going to kiss you. 

It is only when Wei Wuxian squeaks, his chopsticks clattering to the floor as he turns bright red, does Lan Wangji realise he hadn’t spoken those words in his mind.

“Sorry,” he says, clearing his throat. His ears burn. “I didn’t mean—”

Wei Wuxian claps his hands over his ears and shakes his head.

“Nope, nope, stop talking,” he says loudly, his eyes squeezed shut. “You can’t say things like that, Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji’s heart sinks. He opens his mouth to apologise again, but Wei Wuxian interrupts him to waggle a finger in his direction.

“You can’t just say things like that,” he whines again. “That’s not fair. It just makes me want to run over there and kiss you, but we can’t until tomorrow and maybe not even then because of this social distancing thing and that’s—not—fair!”

He scrunches up his face in a way that makes him look stupidly adorable and Lan Wangji really, really wants to jump him. But he doesn’t, because he still has some semblance of self-control.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he says instead, louder, firmer, and feels a surge of satisfaction when Wei Wuxian wails and covers his face. “First thing tomorrow.”

-

(He does. Multiple times. Caution be damned.)

Notes:

Okay, so this is just for fun and isn’t mean to be a reflection of what it’s actually like to be in quarantine/isolation. I also haven’t had much dorm experience besides 6 months in Japan about 9 years ago, so none of this is accurate. The 14 day period is based on what Australia’s recommended as a safe isolation period, so that’s what I’m going with.

Stay safe and healthy everyone!

// buy me a ko-fi //

[Read on AO3]

[quirkzone]

and they were youtubers

a more typical hc list for youtuber au aka 'love at first like'

everyone is like. mid-late 20s (except for the teachers whose ages are proportioanl)

present mic is like. Shane dawson but just conspiracy theories that he tries to get aizawa to participate in

which he does only slightly reluctantly

shirakumo oboro is alive and is the cameraman for these antics

aizawa is still a teacher

no one knows that present mic and aizawa are shinsou's dads, this becomes a running gag

quirks are still a thing but slightly less intense?? and heroes aren't a thing they're just used to augment life

but underground fighting rings and such are things in this world

sero has a home improvement and such channel and a viewer-favorite segment is 'CAN YOU TAPE IT?' wherein sero and the bakusquad try to tape broken items ranging in severity of the break with sero's tape

kaminari routinely charges his friends devices during his streams and just sticks the chargers in his mouth because he needs his hands to game

this routinely makes shinsou question his sanity

uraraka, kirishima & mina share a fitness channel and they all do different types of fitness training and then they do a video together once a week and are just fun fit friends

shinsou and jirou have a spooky podcast together and once a month they go out ghost hunting on location and record it and invite unsuspecting people on their adventures to scare

todoroki knows nothing about social media but gets very interested when it means he can interact with midoriya

the league of villains are just like. a hype house. I had to

ok we'll stop here for now bc I could talk about this au for days and I need to not do that

come talk to me about this au or my royalty au if you want!

[jar-full-of-pixel-hearts]

Heyy it's so good that requests are open! Could I request some angst? Maybe with "Why do you care?" and "I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression" from that prom list? It's also fine if you just want to take one :)

Friends or more...

F. Tony Scarapaducci x Reader

Space Force Netflix

A/N : Hi ! I agree it was good to open the request and I will do it really more often ! Angst usually my strong suit, but I give it a try and I hope you will like it. If you do, please let me know as an anon or not !  Thank you for your request.  

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.

---

You were in the control room that day, when the news about the pyromaniac astronaut came out. 

As much as you had tried, it had been hard for you and all of your co-worker to not turn around and watch, like in case of a car crash, the high general spit his guts against F. Tony. 

It’s true that it had been a true mistake. But, you still felt bad for the social media manager, knowing how difficult and messy it had been to find the volunteers.

For the past year, you had tried to create step by step a bond with the tall man. Succeeding more than you trough when, at the first laugh party, both drunk, you had shared a steamy kiss you never talked about after that night. 

Keeping your position at your computer, you wait for everybody to return to their work before going to the office of F. Tony. After such an awful scene, the little support of a friend will probably help him feel better. 

Approaching the door, hearing a muffled but still audible series of swears, you knock at the door, opening it slightly in the same move. 

“ What ! “ F. Tony shout.   

“ Hi...I thought that you might need a friend ? “ You simply tell, closing the door behind you. 

Passing a hand on his face, he faced you, more serious that you never saw him. F. Tony wasn’t the angry or the grumpy type in front of a problem. He was more the kind to accept the problem and work on a way to solve it, even if the solution he choose is completely stupid. But, right now, almost dominating you of all his stature, he was more looking like a tiger trap in a cage. 

“ I don’t need a damn friend, I need to fix that fucking situation ! “ He raged, taping now furiously on his phone. “ And then kill Brad “ 

Staying patient, trying to get closer, judging if the best approach wasn’t to simply leave, you made a few steps in his direction. 

“ That’s why I'm here, after what happened with the general I want to help you...” You said, watching him scrolling on his screen. 

“ Help me ?! “ He mocks, putting his phone down. “ The last person who said that to me was Hannah and you know what happened !“ He exclaimed. “ Anyway, why do you care !?”  

You knew you shouldn’t feel that way, but hearing him compare your offer of help as the false one that this snake of Hannah made him a long time ago, hurt you. Add to his angry and mocking attitude, your tone suddenly becomes more cold. 

“ Because I thought we were friends and maybe even more. You know it's funny, I even remember that you kiss me for a really long time one night. But maybe you don’t remember it since we never talk about it and you feel the need to ask me Why do I care. After all it’s not like you have a lot of friends to compare me to “ 

You didn’t know exactly why you had been so harsh or why you told him about the kiss. After almost a month, you had simply tried to persuade you that he simply didn’t remember and you had chosen to move on. 

It was a fact that F. Tony didn’t have many memories of that night. But, the gin tonic taste of your soft lips against his and the way you had loved yourself on his arms, your sleepy head on his shoulder, was one of his favorites. Unfortunately, the accumulation of all the problems and the recent humiliation he had to endure that day didn’t let him tell you, make him explode in a white rage

“ In my memories it’s you who almost fell on me, I only respond to your invitation ! ”

 “ You had pushed me on your way to the bar !” You gasp, getting closer, shouting. 

“ You was on the way with that stupid muscular spaceman ! “  He replied, shouting now too.

“ Maybe I should have kissed him ! “

“ Yeah, Maybe you should have ! ” F. Tony rage, jealousy slowly crawling in his body.

“ Wow I can’t believe that I though we’re at least friend”  

" I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression ! And as you can see I can resolve this fucking pyromaniac bad publicity problem by myself ! I don’t need nothing of you. I will just have to do a conference an make a list of all the stupid things they don’t tell me before. “ He replied, showing you a paragraph writing in a note app. “ If you can let me know, I have work to do “

Shame and anger now filling your veine, you close your fist, a million of sours replies flying in your mind. But, stepping back, turning on your heels you decide to simply let go, tears of anger and sadness already slowly flooding your eyes.     

“ And for your information I have friends ! “ He retorted as your hand touched the door handle. 

Biting your lips for a few seconds, you turn on yourself facing him one last time. 

“ No Fuck Anthony, they are not your friends. On a million of followers, you will maybe find two or three with whom you could become friends, but you don’t interact enough with them for that. No F. Tony. A friend is a person you can go hang out and call when you're in trouble or feel sad, even if it’s late at night. I think I was that person for you, but apparently I'm not. Good luck with all that. And for information...You’re an idiot ! “ You coldly reply, trying  without success to hide your emotion. 

Didn’t waiting for his answer, you stepped outside of the office, not noticing the shameful expression of his face in front of your gaze full of tears and the realization of what he had done. The only thing you heard was the Fuck he shout, as you take the way of the bathroom to calm yourself. 

---

The next day, as you enter your little office, relieved to not have met F.Tony in the stair. You suddenly stop on your track. 

On your desk was sitting an arrangement of most of your favorite flowers in a sky blue vase. Surprise, you take the little card hanging on one of the large leaves.

  “ I am an idiot, a moron, almost a troll. 

I’m sorry for what I said yesterday I was angry . Do you accept my request for friendship ?

Or more ? Because yes, I remember your pretty lips and i’m so glad that i’m the one you choose to kiss. 

Again, I’m an idiot and I’m sorry. 

Fuck Anthony Scarapaducci. 

#You talk a lot when your drunk and I remember your favorite flowers“

Giving a glance to the beautiful bouquet, trying to not grin like a fool. You reread the carte another time, hoping to do the right things, before taking your phone. Opening the contact of F. Tony, smiling at the tongues out picture he put for his contact when he gave you his number, you simply send him a quick text. 

“ Y/N has accepted your request of friendship...or more. “    

—

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