#the thing I hate about the new post editor is that it doesn't save the capitalization of past tags you've used | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

phanfictioncatalogue · 3 months

Text

Getting Together (7) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

a game of chance (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: Phil worked at Chance and Counters, a board game cafe in North East London. One definite perk of the last few weeks had been the guy who Phil was now delivering a coffee too. Phil had been smitten from the second he stepped through the door which was something he now wished he hadn’t told his friend and manger Nate, so he could have saved himself being teased every time Cute Dan (as Phil had affectionately called him after overhearing someone say his name) came in

A Perfect Pair (ao3) - husbants

Summary: Dan, a struggling actor who works retail by day, and Phil, an ex-YouTuber-turned-porn-star, end up matched together on the new reality show, Perfect Pair.

cat got your tongue? (ao3) - megiaolf

Summary: A near wholesome cat cafe au.

Communication Is Key (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: In which au Dan and Phil are friends with benefits despite the fact that neither of them want to be friends with benefits and Dan just sucks at talking about his feelings

company policy (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: dan works in a bakery-by-day, gay club-by-night bar. phil owns said bar. things happen.

dan is not a pianist (ao3) - Marranje

Summary: How Phil went from watching the pianist and youtuber Dan from afar to being by his side through the most important moments of their lives.

Fade into View (ao3) - nic0ler

Summary: Phil works as a receptionist and he loves it. Dan works as an editor for a fashion magazine and he kind of hates it. Dans really pretty and Phil notices. Dan doesn't notice Phil, until one day, Phil makes himself noticed by everyone.

fade to black (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: That’s the thing about Phil. He’s a tease.

films, flirting, and other things that start with f.

knight of wands (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Some days are just boring.

(And some aren't.)

linger on (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: A recent loss has ground Phil's life to a halt. At 33, he's static in his grief and living in the house he grew up in - until his mother kicks him out.

In a fit of indignation and with nothing to lose, he answers the first listing he finds for a room to rent in London... a listing posted by a guy named Dan.

more than convenient (ao3) - baroquen

Summary: In which Dan keeps seeing Phil as the closest profile on Grindr and finally says "fuck it."

(Except it's very sappy)

Neighbourly Nook (ao3) - wednesday_ukiru

Summary: The stranger had a dimple on his cheek that appeared when he laughed.

“I’m Dan,” he said, extending his hand. Phil reached for it with extreme eagerness, their knuckles knocking together in a particularly painful way, and they both winced, but Dan immediately broke into a smile. “I don’t know why I offered you a handshake, I never know how to do them.”

Orally Fixated On You (ao3) - dickiegreenleaf

Summary: Dan's a stickler for oral hygiene. He brushes twice a day, flosses religiously, and makes sure to go to the dentist every six months. His strict dental regimen has nothing to do with the way it feels when he's got tools scraping his gums, and it certainly has nothing to do with his adorable dental hygienist.

Revolving Door (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Phil really doesn’t want to think about what Dan said. He really would like to leave, and take this strangled feeling elsewhere. But he can’t stop listening to Dan’s song.

scratch bark bite (oh, love me, i lied) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Music & Drama teacher Dan Howell has a well-known rivalry with his coworker, English teacher Phil Lester.

An unforeseen event flips everything Dan thought he knew about Phil and himself on its head. Slowly but surely, the grudge withers, and the two of them cross the line between enemy and friend. But what will happen when their true intents and feelings get revealed? And was what they had ever really a rivalry? Was it even mutual?

Soft Speak with a Mean Streak (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil was a lonely film student; Dan was a mysterious new classmate he got stuck in with for a big project. It was only a matter of time and the right circumstances.

Take a Picture (It'll Last Longer) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at 2 a.m. in a coffee shop. Phil is a photographer looking for a model, and Dan can't say no to pretty boys.

The Boy And The Builder (ao3) - intoapuddle, jestbee

Summary: Dan is stuck in a house full of builders feeling sorry for himself. Until he meets Phil, that is...

The Problem With Travelling During The Holidays (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan is in a tricky situation, running to catch his connecting flight with no other than his annoying enemy right on his heels. If he could just get on the plane and be away from Lester that would save Christmas.

Luckily for Dan, things don't tend to go his way.

The River (ao3) - Portia331

Summary: Dan arrived in Melbourne two weeks ago with just one suitcase crammed with running gear, psychology textbooks, and a mere fraction of his wardrobe especially curated to fit both his aesthetic and the Melbourne weather.

He's about to start in the role of a lifetime on a 12 month contract, but he's barely ready for the Australian summer heat, let alone what the world is about to throw at him.

vacation getaway (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: phil burns easily, but that soon proves to be not such a bad thing

what might come with the dawn (ao3) - cloud-gays (wind_brewed)

Summary: The Island has a Guardian, that's what people say. Phil doesn't know if this guardian is a mythical being or just a piece of gossip; a made-up story to make people feel safe during storm season. A made-up story just to make them feel secure.

Now that he decides to move in with his parents again, Phil needs the protection. Maybe he needs to reach out to this lonely, black-clothed being; reach out to the lonely man of winter.

Also called: Phil is a storm-chaser of sorts and Dan, a storm-magnet. In between running and hiding, they find each other inside the calm of the storm.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #dan and phil #masterlists #gettingtogether #gettingtogether masterlist

14 notes · View notes

stranger-who-writes-fiction · 6 months

Text

What's this? Another Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow post?? But it's 2024! Surely, there's nothing new to uncover with regards to this seminal work of sequential storytelling...right?!?!?

Well...kinda. XD

BEHOLD! Another Tom King podcast interview, wherein he discusses Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow, and mostly confirms stuff we already knew, but! BUT! He does drop some new bits of info!

Right then. LET'S GO!

My usual disclaimer applies, recommend listening to the interview firsthand to get a more objective perspective.

But if you're cool with my (INCREDIBLY BIASED! ALWAYS! ALWAYS BIASED WITH THIS BOOK!) summary, then ONWARDS WE GO.

(And when I say 'biased summary' what I mean is that I will be including the bits that make me want to run a victory lap because my readings were SPOT HECKIN' ON, ALL YE NAYSAYERS!*)

Ahem. Anyways.

So I'm going to start off with some new-ish info (at least, it's new-ish to me. XD) The interviewers had asked about the title, specifically in regards to Zor-El's dialogue in issue six (I believe it's the portion where Zor is explaining to Kara why he's going to save her, and says something like, "tomorrow will come soon enough...and you will be a woman looking back on the many decades of your life..." hence 'Woman of Tomorrow') and whether that was planned from the outset, or if that part came about organically as he was writing it.

King said he'd originally written a completely different script for issue six (which we did know) but FUN NEW FACTOID TIME: Zor-El/Kara's origin (initially) weren't included in issue six like, at all. It therefore would not have come up at any point within the mini-series, had they gone with that first script.

But editorial hated it (King agreed with their conclusion, and another fun fact, we'll get to see said script in the backmatter for the new deluxe edition, YAY) and when King asked if there was anything in it that they liked, they said the tiny flashback to Kara's time on Argo was good.

SO. King then decided to expand that/incorporate her origin, because that would be 'easy', and this was back during his crazy COVID writing schedule.

(Folks will perhaps recall that he wrote issue seven in like...a day. What we did not know was that he rewrote issue six in that same week.)

And then it ended up being everyone's favorite issue so yaaaaay for editors! Unsung heroes of comics!

They are also comics' greatest villains but that's a discussion for another day!

Evely's art was mentioned at this point and King was like, 'I had to go back and make the writing more beautiful/esoteric to match what she was putting out.'

Also we stan a comic writer who lets his artists take as long as they need on art. (Though as he's mentioned before, Evely was able to turn in the art quickly on this book, which is heckin' WILD to me, have you SEEN that woman's pencils and inkwork??!??!?!??!?!)

They touched on the True Grit comparisons, only relevant/new bits there are that King feels it's the perfect novel (agree) and that the John Wayne version is terrible (also correct) and the Cohen Brothers' version is great (right again.)

Another bit we already knew: It was an editor who was responsible for the suggestion that Kara should be Rooster, not Mattie. (I think in the past he credited this to Jamie Rich, but this time he said he couldn't remember if it was Rich or Brittany Holzherr, and said they could fight over the credit if they want. XD)

Either way, THANK YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE, b/c the alternative pitch, with Kara as Mattie and Lobo as Rooster, sounded awful.

Instead King went with, 'Kara will learn from the young naïf, and teach the young naïf.'

(Much better.)

MORE NEW, FUN TRIVIA!!!!

King said they had the first issue completely drawn, colored, and lettered--basically ready to go, and DC said, 'we can't publish this because Supergirl doesn't drink.'

King called Jim Lee, trying to make his case, that she was twenty-one, it was legal, it was a totally normal/human thing to do, and Lee was like, 'but we can't.'

King: Could I do it with Superman? Lee: Yeah.

Essentially it was a lot of tiptoeing around stuff like, 'girls can't get drunk and whatnot' coupled with 'Supergirl can't do that because she's perfect and pure.'

But! Lee ultimately was like, 'okay, you can leave the scene in, but you can't say she's drunk.'

So if you go back and read the actual dialogue/narration, there's no explicit language confirming that kara is three sheets to the wind.

(Which is so, so ridiculous to me because the art makes it very, very clear that she is. XD LOOPHOLES!)

King and the interviewers pointed out that this real world editorial incident ironically tied into one of the metanarratives of the character, that being the pressure placed on Kara, which Clark doesn't have to deal with.

Art imitating life etc. etc. XD

Feel like I've heard this bit in other interviews but it's sweet so it bears repeating: the green sun planet's name is based on King's nickname for his daughter, and she was the one who came up with the idea of a 'green sun planet' during a discussion at dinner one night.

So shifting gears a bit, the rest of the podcast focused specifically on various plot points that the interviewers wanted to discuss/had questions about; it's basically King offering his insights as the writer. And I really, really appreciate this, for reasons I'll get to further down. Now then, more summarizing!

One of the interviewers brought up a sticking point he had with the book: the execution of the Brigand in issue four. Ruthye says to Supergirl that she thought she would save him. To which Supergirl replies: Did you?

King explained that Ruthye and Kara are on opposite journeys in this book. In issue one, Kara is on the side of 'I don't kill, heroes never kill' and Ruthye is on the opposite side, 'Krem killed my father, I have to kill him.' At the end of the book, they are once again on opposite sides, but they've switched.

(I love the way King described it, that Ruthye becomes Supergirl, and saves Supergirl. More on this later.)

But specifically that part in issue four, where Kara doesn't step in, King confirmed that she's on that journey, she's going through that transition, but she hasn't crossed the line of, 'I'll kill him myself.' Rather, she's allowing the system to do what it will.

King also mentioned that this theme isn't especially new and has been examined in comics time and time again, of superheroes asserting their morality over governments, and how that spirals into fascism. He cited Kingdom Come, etc.

Further comments from King on Kara's character: she's conflicted, unlike Clark. Clark's soul and ideals are aligned one to one; Kara wants that. She loves those ideals and wants to uphold them, but she's not fully aligned like that because of what she's been through (read: She's Seen Some Things)

Loved this bit from King: "Supergirl's a little more human than Clark, in spite of being more alien."

King said DC probably would've let him have Supergirl kill Krem in the end, BUT (and it's a good 'but' tying into that earlier bit about Ruthye becoming Supergirl) he said that the theme of this book was 'what makes Supergirl awesome' (he admits this is kind of a dumb theme, but hard disagree, sir) and he liked that Kara's lessons to Ruthye are ultimately what saves her. Kara saves herself.

(STICK A PIN IN THAT ONE, FOLKS)

King once again stated, for the record, that Krem does not die in the end!

The two interviewers had differing interpretations, hence King needing to confirm. XD He even pulled out his script for issue eight, and the description does indeed say that Krem is unconscious, not dead.

And, AND, Evely even made this clearer in the art; the script didn't have Krem moving after Ruthye hit him, but Evely added Krem placing his hand on his head.

Another point the interviewers wanted to discuss: Ruthye writing that Supergirl had killed Krem.

King confirmed that this was to prevent the Brigands from retaliating against Ruthye, and instead focus on going after Supergirl.

In King's mind, Kara feels immense guilt that her father saved her over literally anyone else, so she spends her life taking on other people's pain, to make up for what she sees as taking someone else's spot on that ship.

The scene in issue seven, where Kara's falling through the atmosphere and pushes through in order to preserve the memories that she carries with her was inspired by events from King's life; his mother died unexpectedly, and when going through her things, realized that he was one of the only people who carried certain memories of his mother and grandparents; he described it as a kind of burden.

Last question from the interviewers: Why make Ruthye and unreliable narrator? Do we believe anything in this book, now?

King started off his answer by noting that he fought against using captions in his books for his entire career; by the time he started writing comics, caption boxes had sort of lost their vitality and had become the equivalent of thought balloons, which had long since fallen out of style.

But when he returned to them with Supergirl, he said, (and I have the full quote below)

King: "What I love about [captions] is that you can write things that contrast what's in the pictures, so that the captions can tell you a little bit of a different story than what you're seeing, and thereby enhance it--it's that idea of Ruthye being, she's narrating the story but we're seeing pictures of what's actually happening, creates an excellent sort of tension I think." (Bold mine)

And so, some THOUGHTS!

As always, I love learning new things about this comic. I wish this comic had a commentary track, with King (and Evely, Lopes, and Cowles!) talking about the creation/processes behind the book.

Next best thing is podcasts, I guess! XD

But IN ADDITION to fun, new information, as I mentioned at the outset, King has basically confirmed a bunch of stuff I mentioned in my deep dive posts.

To quote one of the interviews: "I was validated by Tom King!"

This also debunks like. Every bad-faith criticism lobbed at the book. It's almost like a checklist of the month-to-month stuff I was seeing from those aforementioned naysayers, complaining on twitter that King had ruined Kara beyond repair.

They'll likely never listen to this podcast, but I wish they would! I think it would make them feel better. XD Like, hearing the insights on Kara/Ruthye/etc has just reminded me once again how good this book is, and how emotionally moving.

Like, again, I love the way King sums up how Kara and Ruthye work together in this book to shine a spotlight on Supergirl; Kara teaches Ruthye lessons, Ruthye becomes Supergirl thanks to those lessons, Ruthye then saves Kara, thus Kara saves herself.

(Which hey, I touched on in my issue eight post, way back when.)

(I'm also beyond thrilled that my assumption that the art is the true account while the narration boxes are Ruthye's recounting was CORRECT.)

(Which isn't to suggest this is a terribly deep, difficult to decipher text. I mean. It's a monthly comic book intended for mass consumption, starring popular IP--the writing isn't inaccessible by any means. XD But I just remember seeing SO MANY PEOPLE deliberately misreading these specific points as a way to Stay Mad, so I'm relieved that my glass half full interpretations wasn't just the result of desperate Evely Stan goggles, you know? XD)

TL;DR: I cannot heckin' WAIT for that big, beautiful hardcover coming out in July (IDK if I've posted about it here yet but Lopes said he recolored some stuff so you BETTER BELIEVE I'll be back on my Woman of Tomorrow nonsense this summer) and I'm also thrilled that this entire creative team has returned with a new creator owned title (EXPECT A POST ON THAT...AT SOME POINT???)

#long post #supergirl: woman of tomorrow #supergirl: woman of tomorrow spoilers #dc comics

13 notes · View notes

caixxa · 1 year

Note

A1,A 2, B6, B9, BASICALLY ALL OF THE C QUESTIONS! PLS I WANT TO KNOW! (if you feel like responding lmao) thank you, love you and hope you are having a really nice day! <3

Sorry that it took so long to answer! I had a hellish day and we live on almost opposite time zones, so.

A1: When did you start reading fanfiction?

Summer 2016, after Euro 2016. As an adult, well past 30, I rediscovered the fun of being A Fan.

A2: How did you find your first fic?

I googled, learned new search phrases to google until I found the stuff I really liked. I think the first searches were like "Gareth Bale fan fiction" and the really effective one that I think finally led me to Ao3 (I have no idea what the first sites were) was more in the way of "Cristiano ronaldo gareth bale m/m slash" lol. I read only as a guest user for months, I didn't make my own account until I wanted to write and post my own work.

B6. What is your favourite story trope? Why?

Friends to lovers with sexual exploration on the way. Seductive younger man developing in a twisted power balance/imbalance relationship with an older man. Stuff with sexual tension and a vibe of something forbidden.

B9. Who is your OTP?

I'm such a multi-shipper! I always say it's Aho/TT because they are soulmates and the Finnish connection and two cherubs who share a brain on the ice and fly together and are stupid codependent bros. But I've come to think that the true OTP is Sepe/mentors and authority figures. I came to that conclusion when I heard on the Canes Corner podcast that in his first interviews, he always mentioned Ron Francis, and I couldn't but nod along. Of course he did. A franchise legend who drafted him, of course. He still mentioned him on the Siim Liivik podcast like last summer, you know. He loves Rod, he loves Pekka, he loves Justin Williams, he was so into Burns being traded to the Canes. He's a fireball on the ice but off the ice, his daddy kink can be seen from SPACE.

THe C section:

What trope are you tired of reading? Why? Self-harm or suicide as a romantic plot point. It should be self-explanatory, I detest all variations of the trope where romantic counterpart saves the protagonist from shit they should figure out with themselves first, especially if there is a "love as a miracle cure" element to it. I feel similarly about th "you deserve better, let me save you from your abusive relationship by making you mine". No. If this happens from a base of friendship and they develop love later, that works, but falling in love as a cure because The One Sees Your Beauty When Others Don't is yucky. Elaborate proposals in front of an audience gathered specifically to celebrate the occasion as peak romance is so weird too, maybe I just don't get American wedding culture. (These tropes are more present in m/f imagines than m/m rpf, tho)

What word or expression always makes you cringe when you read it? "Too" when it's supposed to be "to" is the only one of those that I often see in fic writing, but in general, "Their" when you mean "They're" or "it's" for "its" when native speakers do it... IT'S YOUR OWN LANGUAGE! HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THE EASY ONES RIGHT?

Is there anything that makes you nope out of a story? What is it? Double spacing between each paragraph. I know that it's mostly because the Ao3 rich text editor doesn't copy/paste google docs right. I will have to be REALLY drawn into the story and want to read it really bad to struggle through that.

What thing that fandom loves do you actually kind of hate? Why? Hockey fights. They're so unnecessary, they're just an example of the American fixation on violence and vigilante justice. It's okay to me that hockey is a rough game, cross checking and body checking is absolutely fine by me, but dropping the gloves.. it's such a stupid, primitive thing to do. Hockey does fine without it. I know this is unpopular bc y'all love violence. I see all the wrestling posts y'know, and all the "hot" tags in hockey fight posts. *points at all directions, staring judgementally*

What character that fandom loves are you just kinda “meh” about? Why? Hockey players: Anthony Beauvillier. This is just about his looks, I don't see what most people see, he looks so plain to me.

Is there anything in canon that made you want to quit the show? What was it? Why did you hate it? Are we still talking hockey/sports because all i read is sports rpf? Well, I used to like F1 but Ihave very little interest in it now. I just don't think that a motorsport that is done on vehicles for no other use than driving on these extensive tracks made of concrete and asphalt just for it is just gross. In rally, there is at least something organic (lol) and relatable. Also, the last Cristiano Ronaldo fic I read was after his transfer to Juventus, after that I think he's made a fool of himself.

Who is your NOTP? Sepe/Seth Jarvis, Sepe/Jordan Martinook. I think it's bc I have zero attraction to the other guy haha, plus Jarvy only gives me goofy little brother vibes, not ship vibes. Also, Cressi was the big ship when I entered football rpf and I could see the two superstars, rivals, el clasico etc etc intellectually but I just sensed no chemistry between cr7 and messi whatsoever so it's always been kinda NOTP for me.

What is one plot twist you wish people would stop using? Do all the plot twists your heart desires, man, writing is supposed to be fun! But what I said in C1 counts here too.

What show did you really try to watch, but you just couldn’t? This happens with all the shows. I watch a few episodes but can't find the time to finish them. I also skipped a lot (most) of NHL games last season because I need to sleep.

What book could you just never get into, no matter how hard you tried? I don't try hard with my reading, if I don't like the book I quit. The hardest I've tried was probably War and Peace which I read so slowly that I eventually forgot what had happened before and kinda drifted off it after maybe 20%.

Thank you for the ask and have a super duper fine summer!!

(the ask game post is this)

#asks #answered #ask game #fic reading

4 notes · View notes

tekatonic · 2 years

Text

2023 blog update !

Sooo happy new year everyone, and let's get into the thick of it, because I have a lot of words to spew out from my little tired brain ( i swear i started writing this at 4am, how's it past 6 already ? ). Beware long post...

I'm ditching the "sonic fandom" categorizing tag, most of my blog is sonic stuff so it doesn't really matter ( i'll change out the old tag on my old posts later when i remember... )

I wanted to change my url, cause i don't like what it stands for now, but it's what I'm credited as in the SWA zine and i don't wanna inconvenience them this late in the thing, so I'm gonna keep it for the time being. Maybe in a few months I'll change it ?

I kinda hate tagging my posts so i think i'm gonna stop using most of my tags when i'm reblogging, just doing my regular comments instead and content warnings if it needs it ( don't forget you can always ask to tag ! ), and of course, the reblog tag stays.

This doesn't mean I'm ditching the categorizing tags entirely though. I'm gonna try something. At every end of the month I'll go into the mass post editor and just correctly tag everything. ( I might still tag characters and fandoms the regular way for non-sonic stuff ).

I might reblog a little less. Or at least try to. The amount of stuff I usually reblog kind of overwhelms me ( sideblog will not be affected as it's a lot less pressure ).

I have a lot saved up in my likes tab that i still need to get to reblogging... might be time to revive the 'queued' tag ?

I'm still gonna be serial-replying, sorry... It's just less stress for me.

In terms of resolutions... I wanna post more art ! I basically stopped entirely in the later half of 2022 cause of ID anxiety and that's no good, art is what i made this blog for ! I also still haven't introduced you guys to my AU and I was supposed to do that in, like, June 2022... So I'm gonna do that. Lemme know what format you think I should post the 24 ( and more ) images in ? ^^;

Maybe I could post my long rambles and weird ""essays"" ( heavy quotations because those are basically liveblogging of my current thoughts ), if you guys would like to see that. A lot of questioning logic, lore, headcanons and theories. Stuff like that.

I want to interact more with the fandom ! Provide actual content ! Be active, be friends, y'know. Do the club activities and all that jazz. Art challenges, redraws, collabs, whiteboards, dtiys... I wanna be part of the cool/uncool kids and have fun while doing it !

I'm gonna go through sideblog-exclusive stuff below the cut since I'm sure most of y'all don't care about that. I only have 3 or 4 followers on there since I've only ever shared it with friends, so you probably don't even know it exists.

Alright so for ekana-to-hana.

It's basically gonna stay the same

I haven't been drawing my sonas and their universe a lot, so sorry about no new original art... I'm gonna try to draw them more !

All this time I've been just reblogging random stuff, but I think I'm gonna start sharing the things I like. Of course those posts won't get any more than 3 notes unless people actually like what i care about ( plants, fashion, ultra-specific aesthetics, various potential craft hobbies ), but hey whatever.

So in short, more original posts.

I might ( emphasis on 'might' ) start posting personal life updates like, i dunno, plant pics, merch if i get some, ramblings about life and shit.

Unlike my main blog, tagging remains unchanged, since i have way less to organize ( no characters and fandom tags ).

I should sort out my organizing tags for personal clarity tho.

Maybe I'll do some OC+fandom art, to promote the account ? But honestly I wouldn't really count on it.

And that's all folks.

#off-topic teka talk

8 notes · View notes

anorc-writing · 2 months

Text

Hehe. Old story descriptions.

Once these lurked in my fanfiction.net profile.

'Not with a half-blood!': Now (Amazingly) over seven hundred and fifteen thousand hits. Hooray!

My take on a post-war Harry and Daphne betrothal, but without magical contracts, ancient betrothal contracts or... Harry being unable to get out of it. Daphne Greengrass at a ministry party tells that famous half-blood about her immanent engagement and marriage to the new head of the house of Black, Draco Malfoy. Harry is confused. (Spoilers: Harry has a saving people thing, a terrible upbringing and spent seven years at war.) (Double spoiler: Fleur Weasley doesn't like Ginny Weasley much) (Triple spoiler: Harry does things and sometimes it turns out good. Sometimes not so good.) The story is intentionally slow-paced, in a naturalistic take on what a story is. You may not like it. Or you may love it, it's rather polarising.

*My editor is editing this for spelling and punctuation. (Should help)*

*I have a revised text, where I've added in Harry's thoughts, because apparently people can't read between the lines. I may be uploading this alternate version. The working title for it is "Not with a halfblood for people that don't read good." To be honest, it's hard to spell out what Harry's thinking and still keep the tone I want in the story.*

(I've seen some quite public, extremely critical comments about this story. As uploaded, it does need line editing, but I like to think that for the money, it's very good value for money entertainment. And my editor is editing, so it'll be all updated by .. probably .. September 1st.)

The Sequel "The Curious Incident of the Trip to the Seaside" is under way also completed. It contains disaster, bad luck and terrible injuries. And a side order of legal troubles. Oh, and (spoilers) Harry and Daphne loving each other. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43202524/chapters/108585235

A third novel in the series, "But I wanted a Pony!" arrived one day.

Minerva McGonnagal would not recommend it. Firenze is very annoyed. The Destroyer comes, rending the veil. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50075527/chapters/126449407

"Fireworks" is my first fic uploaded to the internet. It's not my best work. There is a sequel to Fireworks, "Harry Potter and the rise of the Black Rod" -- which is currently being worked on, Also complete. I wrote a lot of Fireworks on holiday on what was the abandoned estate of a "French Baron". I'm going back, 'and this time it's personal.' Fireworks as a text started out as an experiment in 3rd person objective with everyone's thoughts opaque. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and I went back and changed it to be more like proper Harry Potter. JKR. uses "speech" said Ron "more speech" ; I did not notice till I reread Deathly Hallows.

While I was writing Fireworks I had several exciting computer problems, including the program I was using to write it with shuffling scenes randomly. Needless to say, I don't use that program any longer. Links are in my ao3 or ffn accounts.

Ashes in your mouth Yet another Harry after the war story. Fireworks took a turn for the cashed-up Harry Potter with seven surnames. This story instead has Harry Potter, with some modest inheritance, a job as an Auror and issues to work through. Including goblins who hate him, back taxes, unpaid bills and the love of a good woman. Once he smooths over those arguments with Ginny. (Spoilers: Harry has annoyed the goblins of Gringotts, has PTSD, but he's not alone. In having PTSD, anyway.) Less money, more problems, and a hint of Harry having real mental problems. Kind of a respin. Fireworks redeux, sorta. It goes different places. https://archiveofourown.org/works/39086295/chapters/97776888

Harry Potter and the Method of Double-tap, and Harry Potter and the Unwanted Marriage Contract

For Harry Potter and the Unwanted Marriage Contract I did four! different flavors of the same story, because it amuses me. Maybe you'll like it too. Don't take it too seriously.. except maybe the message that niceness beats being horrible. And that a fritatta is a good breakfast. I'm rewriting this due to forgetting the impact of Tonks & Andromeda. *I May have abandoned the rewrite.*

And "Harry Potter takes things into his own hands: an alternate second chapter for Harry Potter and the method of Double-Tap, where Harry attempts to 'solve his problems' and falls in unrequited love with a witch instead. Features Harry, his trusty gun, an invisibility cloak and a cursed marriage contract. More bad behavior than is suitable to be read by anyone. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13934551/1/Harry-Pottter-takes-things-into-his-own-hands

Ride-Along: Post Hogwarts immediately after the end of the war. Because Harry always wanted to be an Auror, be Ginny's boyfriend and call his son Albus Severus. Quite a sad story. (Needs line editing, and depicts PTSD. Some people really like it.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/36209560/chapters/90262342

Hedwig's Choice: If you give a valentines day card to a snowy owl that is 100% attitude, you might not get to chose who she delivers it to. Saying 'The Prettiest girl in Hogwarts' is just opening a can of worms. And Hedwig likes worms. And bacon. And sausages. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13698121/1/Hedwig-s-Choice

Find the Lady. Where Harry Potter leans some practical life skills before Hogwarts... with three cups, a coin and some Street Theater patter. An one-shot made from short scenes between Harry's adventures where he takes a break from being Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived with kung-fu grip, Emerald eyes and mysterious prophecy. Underage substance abuse and an (intermittently) very bad Harry Potter. Maybe the bit in Cursed child where he breaks up two marriages isn't so out of character, if you knew the man behind the myth. This Harry Potter may contain a bit more Crank, Trainspotting and Cursed Child than normal. I blame cousin Dudley, and the book on Street Theater Harry bought aged ten. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13759496/1/Find-The-Lady

When Harry Met Daphne: Harry Potter. Wannabe-auror. Ron Weasley, Wannabe-auror. Hermione Granger, reformer of magical creatures laws. Daphne Greengrass... wants to go shopping and has nothing to do with those three. Character deaths. A detective story... sort of. Weirdly even has a happy ending. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13647450/1/When-Harry-met-Daphne

Yes, Minister:A collection of vignettes set in the double-Tap universe. Like... small shorts. Short shorts, if you will. (The Simpsons did it first) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13885554/1/Yes-Minister

How badly could this go: There was a challenge about being a self-insert (SI) into Harry Potter, trying to make things better, and accidentally making things worse. "What's the worst that could happen" turns out to be my favorite phrase. It's written in the first person, which will put people off. A SI redo fic with try, die, repeat. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36206152/chapters/90252628

Strangely, not only have I started on a sequel (Old and Tired), there's a sequel to the sequel. (Readers, ask yourself, should you write a sequel when you're not done writing book 2? No.)

Harry Potter meets Death: Lets take the very end of Deathly Hallows and play a game. Bonus points to realize just what Death's game is. Not metaphorically, that's just being death. Harry's going to use his intuition. Yeah. He's gonna get badly injured. Also, a diverging plot complete with a psychopomp and it's voluntary. Chapter nine is kicking my arse. Ten's kinda done.

0 notes

cookinguptales · 2 years

Note

I’m so glad we will officially get the new episode tonight. The week between episode 6 & 7 was no fun at all. Usually I looove seeing all the fanart and reading all the different thoughts in between episodes. But this time I tried to stay away from everything in fear of getting spoiled. ☹️ Stupid leak.

Yeah. And the fact that we may or may not have had a leak of parts of 9&10 makes you worried to look anywhere. I wish I at least knew if there was a real leak or not so I'd know how careful to be.

It's so bizarre. I've never been in a fandom where the leaks were this bad. I've never experienced anything like it. It makes me feel so bad for the creators. I don't think a lot of people understand how psychologically taxing it is when your work leaks. Some of that is because it can materially affect your career... Like even if someone is gonna watch/rewatch later, those same-day numbers are crucial. If even one person puts off watching the official release for a day or two because there's less urgency, that's starting to fuck up numbers.

I mean, I work in publishing, not tv, but I've seen authors get royally screwed because their book release was fucked up. Leaks or booksellers putting it on the shelf too early or people from one country buying it from another country with a different release date... Often the consumption numbers are monitored during a very specific period and if superfans are obtaining the media outside of that period, it won't be counted. (See: tv ratings, first-day streaming numbers, social media engagement numbers during premieres, presales, bestseller lists, etc.) And then if those numbers aren't reflecting the reality of how much is being consumed, it doesn't really matter. Those are still the numbers that are going to be used for negotiating contracts in the future.

Plus, like... it's just emotionally taxing to see your work leaked. Maybe only part of it leaked and it makes your work look bad and you can't adequately defend it without spoiling everything or breaking an NDA. Maybe it's leaked in a form that isn't so great (like a low quality video, an unedited draft, etc.) and you hate that this will be people's crucial first impression. But really, the worst part is no longer knowing who to trust. I know a fairly big-time author who had a trusted friend read over one of her books to edit it... then found out her friend had passed that unedited draft around to a bunch of her friends. She realized that her friend didn't respect her or her livelihood and mostly just wanted bragging rights. Now she's extremely wary about making new friends or asking for help with her manuscripts, and it's honestly really sad.

I imagine it'd be even worse if you're working on a production with so many moving parts. Do you trust your fellow actors? Fellow writers? The editors? The people working in your office? The friends who come in your house? I can't imagine the kind of tension you'd be working under when you know that leaks just keep getting out and you don't know where they're coming from. : /

And then, y'know, people are like "well, if I watch it same-day as well, that's not hurting anything, right?" but people wouldn't post leaks if other people didn't watch them, and creating demand for that kind of thing is... bad.

Like I don't like leaks from a spoiler standpoint, sure, but you start to gain a greater appreciation for how bad a leak can be when you're comforting an author crying at their kitchen table because their book release got fucked and they have contract negotiations this year...

tbh, I don't understand the mentality behind leaks at all. I have access to a lot of media often years before it comes out (between my editing work and also the paid tv/movie focus groups I often do) and I can't imagine leaking it. I guard the privacy of my clients pretty zealously. No saving unpublished manuscripts to the cloud, no offering identifying info while I'm working, etc. It's actually something I find kind of stressful, the idea that I could accidentally ruin someone else's livelihood if I'm not careful enough... The idea of doing it on purpose or through carelessness makes me cringe...

And then if I did do something by accident, like those WWDITS auditions saved with the wrong privacy settings, the idea of people finding that fuck-up and passing it around instead of letting me know so I could take it down... Like damn, when I think about the people who may never work in this industry again because people just wanted to find info on their favorite show faster... Genuinely kind of upsetting.

That said, the constant leaks, the way that no one secured the usernames for characters used onscreen (which allowed for the Colin's YT hoax), etc. have me like. Bro, who is in charge here? Y'all have a fandom now and you're still acting like a baby show on your first season. They really probably need to hire someone for this.

#tbh I felt kind of bad about the gentle ribbing about the Colin CGI fuckup in the trailer this week #after it was taken down #genuinely hope no one got in trouble over that one #wwdits #replies #wwdits s4 spoilers

21 notes · View notes

lemonluvgirl · 3 years

Text

I posted 337 times in 2021

69 posts created (20%)

268 posts reblogged (80%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.9 posts.

I added 51 tags in 2021

#everlark - 19 posts

#everlarksmut - 5 posts

#@sparklindust4612 - 5 posts

#peetaloveskatniss - 4 posts

#katniss&peeta - 3 posts

#smut - 3 posts

#builder!peeta - 3 posts

#eventualsmut - 3 posts

#athlete!katniss - 3 posts

#modernau - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 33 characters

#peetainlovewithhisbrother'skiller

My Top Posts in 2021

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Rating: Mature Additional Tags: builder!Peeta, galeniss, everlark

Summary: For mrspeetamellark based off the prompt:

“I’ve been wearing my boyfriend’s hoodie around the house for the last week. I tried to give it back last night.

“That’s not my hoodie.” Realized with horror I’ve been wearing our builder’s hoodie. In front of our builder.”

30 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 03:44:25 GMT

New Everlark Modern AU Fic Sneak Peak!

Hitting The Target By: SparklingStella & LemonLuvGirl87

Summary: “When you shoot, you’ve got to keep both eyes on what you want to hit.” Katniss tells him seriously. “Do you bring this kind of tenacious focus with you to all aspects of your life?” Peeta asks, hoping his wildly mounting attraction for her isn’t as obvious to her as it feels to him. “When the situation calls for it. I’m good at going after what I want. And I find my mark almost every time.” She tells him with such a straight face he would have believed they were still talking about archery if her smoldering grey eyes weren’t glued to his mouth.

When hot shot college archery rookie Katniss Everdeen makes it to the USA Archery Collegiate National Championships her first year on the team, the university’s newly appointed college sports reporter Peeta Mellark is sent on assignment to cover her and the archery team’s meteoric rise to fame. What he never intended was to get so invested in the subject of his article, or to get so infatuated with the girl herself.

~Snippet From Chapter One:

“Peeta! Where’s that article on the golf team’s latest tournament?” A frustrated feminine voice rings out through the university newspaper work room.

“Fuck me,” Peeta mutters tiredly under his breath while trying to simultaneously shrink down to inconspicuous levels so his editor, Johanna Mason, won’t hear him or see him. But even the hunching of his massive shoulders and lack of reply can't help him now. She knows he's here. She knows he's not done. He feels a sweat break out on the back of his neck as she approaches his work station. Knowing Johanna she’d take his curse words as an invitation for sex, not as an expression of utter unenthusiastic dread. And he doesnt want to have sex with Johanna. He doesn't like her that way. Actually, he's found himself almost resenting her in recent weeks. She's the reason he's got writer's block right now. He’s dreading having to finish this article. It's driving him nuts.

Peeta hates golf, (he told Johanna this when she gave him the assignment) and he’s been doing nothing but covering their university’s shitty golf tournaments for the last few weeks. And even though he’s seen enough mediocre college golf to last till the end of eternity, he can’t for the life of him finish this pathetic golf article that was due half an hour ago. The thing is just a boring, uninteresting, cold fish piece of shit. And he hates himself for writing it. He hates Johanna even more for assigning this piece to him. It's like she knows exactly which soul sucking assignments he desires least and saves them just for him.

“Mellark! Are you still stuck on the conclusion? Stop playing with your dick and finish the fucking article already! We’ve got a deadline to meet!” Johanna says when she finally reaches his desk and stands over his shoulder, only to find he’s stuck in the same spot he was an hour ago.

“I’m trying Johanna! But this--this story is just--”

“Just what asshole? Too hot for you to handle? It's a damn 600 word news piece, not a 60 minutes interview for god sakes!”

“It's BORING! And there’s no way to make it interesting! I’ve tried! Its just---garbage! Dry, utterly boring and sleep-inducing garbage!”

Johnna stands stock still for a minute. Peeta worries he may have gone overboard.

Then she starts shaking with silent laughter.

“Well, yeah duh! I mean it's college golf, not exactly riveting stuff. ” She says in between involuntary shoulder shakes.

“So you knew. You knew it was a crap assignment and you made me write it anyway! That’s just great Jo. That’s terrific. Why couldn’t you assign it to Beetee or Wireless or something? Didn’t you tell me when I joined the paper that I had the best ‘authentic writing voice’ you’d heard in years? And yet Marvel and Cato get to cover our basketball and football team every season! What am I doing here JO? How is this a good use of my skills?”

“Mellark, you’re talented. That’s exactly why I give you the tough assignments. You can dress up a pile of shit and make it look like a chocolate sundae. But, you’ve only been on the team for a year. You still have to pay your dues rookie. But, look, I’ll make you a deal. Finish this shit show of an article, and make it readable. If you can do that I’ll give you a better assignment this coming week. Not basketball or anything super big, because you know, baby steps, but I promise it will be a step up from the golf crap.”

“Fine Jo. But I’m holding you to your promise! Maybe I should make you sign a contract so you don't go back on your word,”

“Yeah, yeah, Mellark. No need to break out the ritual sacrifice knife to make me sign my soul away in blood. I'm a woman of my word. I'll deliver on my promise. But, you better wow me with this conclusion, or else it's back to the golf carts, pretentious khakis, and designer sunglasses for you.”

“It's going to be the best shit sundae you’ve ever had Jo. I promise.”

And it was. Peeta managed in the next 20 minutes to tweak and finish the article until it was actually an interesting and engaging college sports piece, and by the time the story had to go to print Joanna was smiling.

“So, I take it that smile means I’m going to get assigned something decent this coming week?”

“Well, since you actually pulled it off, I’d say so.” Johanna slams a piece of paper down on his desk. It contains a name, email address, and office phone number.

Haymitch Abernathy [email protected] 555-451-1213

“What’s this?”

“Contact info for your next assignment. Email this guy and set up a time to go and observe his team at practice. He’s the head coach for the university’s archery team. Word around campus is there’s a new freshman blowing all the competition out of the water. The team’s got a shot at nationals this year. I want you to do a full piece on her, and the team. You can interview the coach too. The higher ups want to make this feature article a two page spread.”

“Two pages?!”

“Yep. So don’t say I never did nothing for ya Mellark. Oh, and take your camera and get some candid shots. Apparently she’s hot. That’ll be good for the article too.”

Peeta laughs, only Johanna would so openly comment on sex appeal as a way to increase their readerbase.

“Ok, Jo. Sure thing. And thank you! You won’t regret it!”

See the full post

38 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 18:16:45 GMT

The Hoodie by LemonLuvGirl87

**Written for @mrspeetamellark based off the prompt:

“I’ve been wearing my boyfriend’s hoodie around the house for the last week. I tried to give it back last night.

“That’s not my hoodie.” Realized with horror I’ve been wearing our builder’s hoodie. In front of our builder.”

The house remodel lasted longer than my relationship.

I inherited the house after my mother passed away. The summer after my senior year of college I took a break before enrolling into graduate school after my mother fell ill. That illness turned out to be stage 4 cancer, inoperable.

She was gone before Prim and I could even process the diagnosis.

Honesty I was surprised she held on as long as she did. My mother had always been half present, mentally and emotionally, ever since our father died 14 years ago.

One thing she did have the presence of mind to do years before she ever fell ill was to get a really great life insurance policy. She had obviously learned from dad’s mistakes.

So, at 25 I found myself a homeowner. Although it wasn’t much of a home. Our ancestral dwelling had been considered a fixer-upper back when my parents initially bought it. Almost 30 years ago. After my father’s death we never really got around to fixing the place up.

It was Gale’s idea for me to use part of the life insurance money we got from mom’s death to remodel the house.

Gale was around a lot after I moved back home. He helped with the funeral arrangements, the paperwork for filing the life insurance claim, he helped me with Prim. It took both of us to convince her not to change her plans to go back to school after mom died and finish her medical degree. But we did it.

Somewhere along the way our friendship shifted from platonic to not so platonic and before I knew it we were taking on the idea of remodeling the house to make it ours.

It should have been a happy ever after to my sad hallmark movie life.

Girl moves back home due to tragic circumstances, reconnects with long lost best friend, cue the mood music and relationship montage. Then the picturesque ending with them settling into their new home and new life together.

Except my reality didn’t include a Nicholas Sparks ending to a tragic story. Not at all.

The first problem was that I had inherited the fixer-upper from hell. We went through 3, no seriously 3 contractors in the first 6 months. Every time we’d get one thing fixed we’d find another problem. Which meant more time, more money, and more STRESS for Gale and I.

Somewhere around the nine month mark, just like a pregnancy coming to term, Gale and I’s relationship issues that we had both been trying out best to ignore came to a head.

“Look Gale, I’m sorry things didn’t work out. But I’m just not ready to get married right now.”

“The thing is Katniss, I am. I’m more than ready. But if you aren’t, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Maybe we should take some time off.”

“That would probably be a good idea. I’ll stay at my mom’s house tonight and come back to pick up my stuff in the morning.”

“Okay. Um, do you want your hoodie back?” I ask in a small voice.

I didn’t really want to give it back. It was soft and warm and smelled deliciously male. I had been wearing it all week in an effort to remind myself about some of the things I liked about Gale. Like the way his hoodie smelled.

Comforting and slightly sweet with hints of wild herbs and cinnamon.

Gale gives me a strange look when I unenthusiastically peel the oversized orange hoodie over my head and offer it back to him.

“That’s not my hoodie.” Gale tells me.

“Of course it's yours. I grabbed it from the coat closet a week ago. I’ve been wearing it since then.” I tell him, hugging the maligned hoodie against my chest as if to shield it from Gale’s denial. Then I sniff it again lightly for good measure.

It still smells wonderful.

See the full post

58 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 02:48:33 GMT

In a Coat Closet (Finally)

For anyone who ever wanted Katniss and Peeta to get it on in a coat closet, here you go!

(Katniss POV)

Peeta’s wandering hands trail down my back lightly, but oh so expertly. He knows me bringing him lunch was just an excuse. It's been like this with us for weeks now. I find reasons to wander over to his house. He finds reasons to touch me.

“Got it.” He says proudly holding up a stray leaf that must have gotten snagged on the back of my sweater. I think he’ll lean in to kiss the side of my neck, or maybe just pull me against him, but no. He moves away. I frown in irritation for a second.

“So that was the culprit?” I ask him with raised eyebrows. I guess he wants to play a little bit longer today. He nods, but I don’t think he’s paying full attention anymore to my words. His eyes are on my lips. Those blue eyes track my movements in a fascinated way and the attention, though a little unnerving, is also exciting.

I always wonder what excuse he’ll use. As if either of us needs an excuse to touch the other after all that’s happened since the night I climbed into his window. Still, it's like a little game. One that hasn’t gotten old between us yet.

I sigh, realizing the ball is in my court now. I look him over, trying to think of something.

He looks beautiful, in that way that is so uniquely Peeta. That burnished gold hair shining in the afternoon light that filters in from between the curtains. The placid looking blue of his eyes that suggests calm waters but when you get too close actually pull you in faster than a riptide. His skin, paler than my own, but not without its appeal. I imagine the freckles...tiny ones, lots of them spread over his shoulders and my mouth gets a little watery.

Focus. I tell myself. And I can see that he’s caught me ogling him. He’s smiling at me in a very pleased way. It just makes me flush, embarrassed, and grit my teeth in annoyance. I roll my eyes at him, not wanting him to know just how much he affects me.

His small laugh resonates through the room, and my body.

“You know, I had trouble pulling my bow back today. I think my shoulders are just a bit too tense from all the extra work we’ve been putting in lately. I was wondering...Peeta, do you think you could give me a massage?” I ask with an air of innocence, but I can see the immediate effect my words have on him. His cheeks flush slightly and his eyes darken noticeably.

I walk over to his large navy blue couch and sit facing away from him. I tug off my sweater in one quick move and I hear his intake of breath. Underneath I have on only a thin undershirt.

He settles behind me on the couch, quietly and when his large warm hands graze my skin I shudder.

He kneads my shoulders lightly, and it feels wonderful, it really does, but I think my muscles would benefit more from direct contact with his fingertips.

“Do you think the shirt is getting in the way? It seems to keep bunching up…” I throw out the offer and his hands flex over my shoulders.

“Maybe...I mean we could try it without the shirt if you want.” He tells me in a strained voice.

“Yeah, I think we should.” I answer him and cross my arms over each other and lift up the hem of my shirt in one fast motion, over my head and toss it onto an armchair to the right of me.

I can hear his breathing quicken and I smile secretly to myself. There, the ball is in his court now.

“You know, I think this might get in the way too,” He says in a deeper tone than his usual one, as he trails one finger down the left strap of my bra.” I smile, and reach back to undo it. When it falls away, I can feel anticipation building in the air like the beginning whine of a teapot left to boil.

“Much better,” Peeta says in a low whisper and his hands travel all over the skin of my back. His fingers urgent, his grip tighter as he massages my bare skin. My breath hitches when his hand wanders to the sensitive skin over my ribs.

“Maybe you’d feel better if I kissed those sore muscles…” He tells me, his mouth so close to my ear I startle reflexively against him. And then before waiting for my answer he’s kissing the back of my neck, down my shoulder, along my spine. He leans me forward with his hands so he can kiss and trace a path up and down my back with his tongue. I moan when he sucks on the tense patch of skin between my shoulder blades.

One of his hands reaches out to cup my right breast, but just before he can close his hand around my already excited flesh, there’s a knock at the front door. I bolt up from the couch, knocking him backward in the process. He makes a sound of surprise, but I don’t stop to see if he’s ok. I just flee the room, looking frantically for someplace to hide.

The closest place I can find is the coat closet. And not a moment too soon, because before Peeta can even ask who it is, the door opens.

(Peeta POV)

Of all the goddamn times!!! I shout angrily in my head when the sound of a pounding fist thunders against my front door.

One minute she was halfway naked and getting more pliable beneath my hands by the minute, the next she was flying out of the room like someone set her hair on fire, practically knocking me off the couch in her haste to escape. But then there’s the sound of a key turning the lock, and I know, I know without a doubt who the unwanted intruder is. There’s only one other person who has a key to my house.

“Afternoon sunshine, I came to retrieve the hammer you borrowed the other day.” Haymitch’s excruciatingly frustrating lazy drawl rings out from the foyer and I bite back the urge to tell him to get the hell out of my house this instant.

“That key is supposed to be used for emergencies only Haymitch!” I practically shout at him as he enters the living room.

“Ooo touchy today aren’t we?” He comments in a mocking tone.

See the full post

62 notes • Posted 2021-11-04 02:29:16 GMT

You're a doll, and a talented writer! Thanks for your works, your comments, your support, and just for being all around awesome! <3

@jhsgf82 words fail me.

I'm so humbled by your words. You are such a legendary everlark writer, I never imagined someone like you could like my stuff. Honestly. I'm still processing your compliments, but it might take a minute for me to absorb your kindness.

P.S. Don't ever change. I love ur work. You're GOLDEN! And so incredible!

66 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 06:16:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

7 notes · View notes

spectraspecs-writes · 3 years

Text

Leviathan - Chapter 106 (Rena)

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 105. Chapter 107.

A/N - Since there's been some confusion about it in the past, thought I'd make it clear here. Carth's narration is in orange text, if the orange doesn't show up please let me know but with tumblr's new post editor it should work. Bastila's narration is pink - my original idea was yellow but not only would that be illegible it's not an option. Same deal, if it doesn't show up let me know. Plus, I don't know if anyone watches the videos when I add them to chapters, but this one, you gotta watch this one.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma @strangepostmiracle thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

——–

When the elevator opens, I get… a horrible feeling. Like someone’s walking on my grave. And no one mourns me. Everything feels cold. Like that dream on Dantooine. I think Bastila shivers a bit but I don’t think Carth feels it. But how could I know, he’s blocked himself off from me. As we fight our way through to hangar control the feeling just gets worse and worse. Seeing the Hawk makes me feel a little better, but not for long.

I don’t want to be here. This is the only way to get to the hangar, but I don’t want to be here at all. I’m not ready. I don’t want to be here. I can’t calm down. It’s dark. And cold. I don’t want to be here.

The blast door opens. We didn’t move fast enough. It’s him. It’s Malak.

Carth starts to step forward with his blasters but I reach out my hand to stop him. My dream will not happen. I won’t let it. Malak laughs, and it sends a chill through me. And also a strong feeling of hatred. But it’s not a general hatred, like I would have if it was like “knowing the things you’ve done and what you stand for, I hate you.” This is a personal hatred. “I hope you weren't thinking of leaving so soon, Bastila,” Malak says. His voice is channeled through an apparatus on his chin. He has no jaw. “I've spent far too much energy hunting down you and your companions to let you get away from me now. Besides,” he says, looking at me, “I had to see for myself if it was true. Even now I can hardly believe my eyes… tell me, why did the Jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?”

I try not to be nervous, but I can’t help it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, “I’ve never met you, this isn’t a reunion.”

He laughs again. Over and over again. What in the goddamn hell is so funny? “What?” he laughs, “You mean you don't know? All this time, and you still haven't figured it out? I wonder how long you would have stayed blind to the truth? Surely some of what you once were must have surfaced by now.” “Once were”? I’m a scout, I’ve always been a scout. What the hell is going on? “Even the combined power of the Jedi Council couldn't keep your true identity buried forever, could it?”

youtube

… no. What? No. No that can’t be right. That’s not me. That can’t be me, I can’t be… Revan. No, I’m not. I wasn’t. That can’t be right. But it was my face! No. No that can’t be right. It’s not right. No. I look back at Carth. He can’t look at me. But this isn’t right! I’m not Revan! I can’t be. I remember being a scout!

Is that why all this felt so familiar? The Sith on the bridge - I knew them? Maybe? Is that why Jedi training went so fast? Muscle memory? I already learned how to use the Force and fight with a lightsaber. And why Master Zhar said I was a special case. Why the Star Map on Kashyyyk knew me. But…

… it isn’t right! No!

“You cannot hide from what you once were, Revan!” Malak says. Shut the hell up! “Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord - and know that I have taken your place!”

“No,” I say, “No, this isn’t right. Revan is dead.”

“You do not yet remember, Revan?” Stop calling me that! “The Jedi set a trap. They lured us into battle against a small Republic fleet. During the attack a team of Jedi knights boarded your ship. The Jedi strike team captured you and the Council used the Force to reprogram your mind; they wiped away your identity and turned you against your own followers!”

No. No it’s not true. It can’t be true. No. No. “No. No, it’s not true.”

“You must have seen flashes of your old life in your dreams, Revan; memories bubbling up to the surface? Surely you must remember the battle in which you were captured?” On Taris… but she said it was just a dream. A memory. Her memory. My memory… “How you survived the final battle is a mystery to me,” Malak says, “Perhaps you should ask Bastila; after all, she was part of the Jedi strike team that captured you!”

Yes. She was. She was there. I look at her. I hate her. “Bastila?”

“It’s true,” she says. I hate her. “I was part of the team sent to capture Revan… to capture you.” I hate her! “When Malak fired on the ship you were badly injured. We thought you were dead.” They should have left me. But if they left me, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t know Carth, or Jolee, or Canderous, or Mission, or T3, or anybody. But is that worth leaving a mass murderer alive? Is the fact that I’ve lived a better life away from the Dark Side worth all the lives Revan took? Am I worth it? “Your mind was destroyed, but I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life in your body. I brought you to the Jedi Council. They were the ones who healed your damaged mind.”

No. No. “But I have memories. I don’t remember Revan, but I remember a whole life. Planets I explored, species I discovered, stories to tell. I’m a scout!”

“The Jedi Council didn't restore your wounded mind, Revan!” Malak says, “They merely programmed it with a new identity - one loyal to the Republic! They tried to make you their slave!”

So… Bastila… I thought she was my friend! Or at least someone I could count on, someone I could trust! “You’ve been lying to me this whole time!”

“I wanted to tell you but the Council forbid it!”

“So once again you put an idea before a person!” I shout at her. I can’t help it - I hate her! “How could you justify that? How could you? How in your twisted mind could an idea be more important than a living breathing person?”

“They were afraid you might return to the dark side if you discovered your real identity!” she says, “You could have hurt more living breathing people!”

“But now you know the truth, Revan!”

I turn to Malak, and scream at him, “Shut the FUCK up! I’m not talking to you!”

He laughs. What part of “shut the fuck up” did he not understand? “And there is the Revan I remember! No longer holding back your rage!”

“What part of ‘shut up’ did you not understand?” I say. Even without a jaw, I can see his smug grin, but he leans back and crosses his arms. I turn my attention back to Bastila. “Why didn’t you just let me die?”

“For the same reason you are always concerned for the lives of others,” Bastila says, “The Jedi hold all life sacred, even that of a Sith Lord. I could not just let you die. Not if it was possible to save you.”

Malak laughs again. “Hiding the truth behind noble words,” he says, “The Jedi needed the memories buried deep in your wounded mind, Revan; there was no other way to bring them out. They had to keep you alive!”

I’m not listening to him. “And the new identity - why?”

“We couldn’t simply restore your true identity…”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”

“Revan was too dangerous - we couldn’t.” Sounds like “wouldn’t” to me. “But locked inside your mind was information the Republic needed: the secrets of the Star Forge. The Council created an identity for you: a scout transferred under my command. Your subconscious memories were supposed to lead me to the Star Forge; there was no other way to get the information.”

“They made you their puppet, Revan,” Malak says, “and Bastila was the handler pulling your strings!”

“Why you? Why are you here? Why did they choose you? You were my friend - why would you do this to me?”

“I used my Force powers to keep you alive on that bridge - it created our bond,” she says. That goddamned bond! “I convinced the Council that I could use that bond to draw out your memories and lead us to the Star Forge.”

“Tell the truth, Bastila,” Malak says, “you wanted to taste the Dark Side for yourself! You knew the only way the Council would permit you to explore the Sith's power was through Revan's lost memories!”

“No!” she says, “I wanted to help you, Revan.”

I scoff. “But you wouldn't mind helping yourself along the way, I bet.” After all, she thought this was an audition for masterdom - she’s looked for power before.

“Revan, I thought this mission would redeem you; that it would atone for your past crimes. How else could you be saved?”

No. No. “You used me! You and the whole Council! I trusted you! And you used me and lied to me the whole time!”

“Rena, Malak nearly killed you, but the Jedi Council gave you another chance to live! They gave you a chance to redeem yourself by defeating the Sith!”

“A rash and futile hope,” Malak says, “The Dark Side is too strong, my power is too great! Even my old master is no longer a match for me!” He turns to me. What was before anxiety and fear is now firmly rage and anger. At Bastila, at the Council, at Malak, at me. “A small part of me has always regretted betraying you from afar,” Malak says, “I always knew there were some who would think I acted out of fear, that I did not want to face you. But now fate has given me a second chance to prove myself. Once I defeat you in combat no one will question my claim to the Sith throne; my triumph will be complete!” He reaches out a hand, and Bastila and Carth are both immobilized. “The Jedi Council were foolish to let you live. I won't make the same mistake. We shall finish this alone in the ancient Sith tradition: master versus apprentice, as it was meant to be!”

I am. Absolutely. Done. Today has gone on long enough. I have had it. “You wanna know something?” I say, “This is, categorically, the worst day of my life.”

---

Damn it, Rena! If she hadn’t stopped me before, maybe I could have shot Malak and we wouldn’t be in this situation! And now she’s fighting Malak alone. She doesn’t stand a chance against him.

But why should I care? She’s a Sith Lord! She’s been a Sith Lord the whole time! Oh, she can claim she doesn’t remember all she wants, but how can I know she’s telling the truth? How can I trust her? She deserves everything she gets!

But… it’s Rena. My friend. I saved her life on Taris, she’s saved my life more than once, she’s always been there for me. She found Dustil. Turned him away from the Sith. I love her. She feels right. And I promised to protect her. And then…

No. I promised to protect Rena. This is Revan. Revan, who led us during the Mandalorian Wars, rallied Jedi to our side. Revan, who won the war for the Republic. Revan, who betrayed us all.

I can’t forgive Revan. But I can’t forgive Malak, either. Malak gave the order to attack Telos. And I- I don’t know if Revan had anything to do with it, but Malak definitely did. He deserves to die. And the war has been a lot worse since Revan was killed. Wiped. Whatever. And if that has anything to do with the two of them, Malak is clearly the worse of the two. He deserves to die. And I want to take revenge on Revan myself. For lying to me. For using me.

Was any of it real? Was she ever on the side of the Republic, the whole time? Did she even love me like she said? Or was it all a lie? Hell, for all I know, she wanted us to be here. Maybe she sent a transmission to Saul when I wasn’t looking. Maybe she really did join the Sith on Korriban.

But I saw into her head. That first night on Korriban, whatever she did, I saw into her head. It was strange, the whole experience, but it was like I saw her whole life. She told me - well, sort of told me - that she could never fall if I was there. That she wouldn’t. She couldn’t hurt me. She couldn’t do that to me. And that’s how she told me she loved me. I don’t think she meant to. It just sort of came out. And it showed me that I loved her. Something I didn’t want to think about, I guess. Especially not then - I was so focused on Dustil. And Morgana. She died five years ago and I was never able to get her off my mind. Before Rena. And when she showed me inside her head… it all made sense.

But what if all that was a lie? How can I believe anything she’s ever - Rena, look out! In a fraction of a second, she dodges Malak’s lightsaber. And I feel her in my head, like I did before - “Thanks, I got it.” It doesn’t feel like her, not like it felt before, on Korriban. On Korriban, it felt… I don’t know how to describe it. It was like… coming home after a long time. It was a warm full feeling. A good feeling. But this, now, feels completely different. She feels almost… cold. Dark. Rushed.

Maybe that’s just because she’s fighting, she’s focused. But I saw how she yelled at Bastila. And Malak. She’s not the same at all, is she? She’s not the same Rena. And she never will be again, will she? The woman I… the woman I thought I knew - she’s gone. It’s just Revan now.

---

This was not the way I hoped she would find out. I wanted her to find out in a safe place, surrounded by friends, no more battles to be fought. Perhaps after we’d found the last Star Map or before we went to the Star Forge. Of course I knew she would have to find out eventually. I knew that a fight with Malak was inevitable, and that he would reveal her true identity. I just did not want that to be the first time she heard it. I wanted her to hear it from me. I wanted to be able to answer all of her questions in a calm, safe environment, a place where she could express all of her feelings safely, and understand why the Council did this.

Being captured by the Leviathan was the last thing I expected. Everything was going relatively smoothly. I was concerned about Korriban, but Jolee told me she acted exemplary, a fine model of Jedi teachings. As much as usual, anyway. As I’ve told her before, her methods are unorthodox, and she has a tendency to act emotionally, but she is dedicated to the wellbeing of others. I’ve regularly seen her put the lives of others before her own, as have the others. I never knew Revan personally - when she and Malak left for the Mandalorian Wars, I sided with the Council - but from what I’ve gathered, “selfless” was not a word others would use to describe her. Revan and Rena have many things in common, but I don’t believe they are the same at heart. Rena certainly has her faults and her shortcomings as a Jedi, but I could never see her falling to the Dark Side.

I’m ashamed to admit I wasn’t always so certain. Her feelings for Carth were concerning at first. As I said, I never knew Revan, but she had a reputation for hedonism, and Rena seemed quite the same at first. And not only that - her dueling on Taris concerned me, as well. She seemed very aggressive. But I came to learn I was mistaken in that assessment. She used dueling more to blow off steam than as an outlet for aggression.

Her identity was a mystery to me at first. I knew that the Council put her under my command, but beyond that they seem to have taken quite a few liberties in explaining her knowledge. She has a number of specifics when it comes to being a scout or ecology. And I don’t know where her crusade against Czerka came from. Perhaps these details came from Revan’s memory, and the Council just changed the explanation. Perhaps the identity was someone else, someone who died in the war, or someone from the archive memory. I had only met her briefly before the attack on the Endar Spire, and I doubt it was an encounter she’d remember. She was up late, fixing a droid. If I hadn’t known her voice I wouldn’t have recognized her. Most of what I knew about her came from a datapad, at first.

It took a long time before I stopped calling her Revan. I of course never said it out loud, but there were many times when I thought to myself, “Why is Revan doing that?” or “That is not something I expected from Revan,” or “Revan is getting on my nerves.” It wasn’t until Dantooine, during her month of retraining, that I began to think of her as Rena and not Revan. I never knew Revan, but Rena is my friend. And I don’t have many of those. It’s a complicated friendship, certainly, and we have our fair share of disagreements. But part of friendship is how you deal with those disagreements.

Although, I wonder if that friendship is over now. Not because of how her true identity was revealed, although that certainly doesn’t help. I know she disagrees with me, but the Jedi are more than simply an idea. The Jedi are the only thing holding the Dark Side at bay. Without the Jedi, the galaxy would descend into darkness, beyond hope, possible beyond salvation. Certainly that is more important than any individual. If saving Revan will defeat Malak, I have no regrets. If Carth suffering Admiral Karath’s torture would have aided the Republic, then I would consider that an acceptable loss. I wouldn't enjoy it, of course, but if it was necessary I would find a way to live with the consequences. And I gather Revan would have felt the same. But Rena doesn’t. Perhaps they are more dissimilar than I thought.

Rena reaches out to kick Malak, but before she makes contact, Malak whisks her into a Force whirlwind and runs. A coward, as he has always been.

---

Asshole! I could see it in his eyes, I was making progress, I was making a dent, and he runs!

I could just let him go. This is not going to be the last time we meet. It can’t be. The Star Forge is still out there. And Malak would like nothing more than to get rid of me now. I’m a problem, and the only way to stop me from being a problem is to kill me. I have no intention of dying today, if only because I need to give the Jedi Council hell. I don’t want to think about that now, though, if I think about that now I’m going to have a fucking panic attack. So that’s that. I’m going to wait for Carth and Bastila to unfreeze, and then we get to the Hawk and go. Easy.

But it could never be that simple, could it? Malak would not leave any avenue for me to just go. And even if he did, that wouldn’t be the end of the fight. Maybe there’s a tracker on the Hawk. Maybe he’ll follow us to Manaan. I have no idea how this will end, but it won’t end well.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t know what this feeling is in the pit of my stomach, but I hate it. Oh. Wait. That’s what it is. Nope, I don’t want to think about that now. I need a hug. But Carth is still frozen, assuming he could even trust me again. Nope, not thinking about that. I touch Carth’s hand, at least, looking for a little comfort. And he lets me read him. He hates it. God, that’s a horrible feeling. Nope, don’t want to think about that. Focus on the Sith Lord.

I think I saw Malak go through the door in front of me, rather than left or right. But it’s locked. Why? Why is he making this difficult? Let’s try finding another way into that corridor. Door on the right. There’s another door on my left that should lead to where Malak is, but it’s locked, too. Jesus, dude, really? Okay, keep moving forward. Another door. Left turn. One more door that should lead to Malak, but it is also locked. Why, dude? Why? All this effort to prove you’re not a coward, but you’re acting pretty cowardly. I keep moving forward to the next door. Through that and after another turn there’s one more door that should lead to Malak. If this one is locked, too, I swear to fucking God…

It opens. There he is. Bastard.

---

I can feel Malak’s stasis hold slowly wearing off. It starts small at first. I can move my foot, just a little. Then it fades even more, and I can curl my fingers. Then it fades completely, and I can let my muscles relax for a moment. But only a brief moment. Rena is still fighting Malak. I can sense it. But his is not the only anger I feel. Carth is clearly not having the best day, to put it mildly. And as much as he’s trying to focus solely on Malak and getting to the Ebon Hawk, his thoughts are obviously clouded by Rena. Anger at her, and me, at the Jedi Council, but also confusion. And mistrust. Perhaps even some depression. Clearly there is sadness there. But how deep it goes is unclear.

“Damn it, Rena!” he swears at her, “She’s going to get herself killed, fighting Malak alone.”

“You still care about her, then,” I say. I did not expect his feelings for her to go away so quickly, but I did expect them to be mixed.

“Care, hell, I don’t think we’ll be able to find the last Star Map without her,” he says. No, that’s not quite right. But no matter. We have more important things to worry about. “I saw her go right, but the door closed and I have no idea where she went from there.” I saw that, too. “Can you sense where they are?”

“I can try.” I reach out with the Force. She’s close. And despite Carth’s concern, for lack of a better word, she would seem to be doing very well on her own. She’s certainly thinking about her identity, but she’s doing her best to focus on Malak. This fight isn’t going to end today. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but this fight is not going to end today.

A choice needs to be made. One of us isn’t going to make it out of here. And Carth’s right, the others need Rena to find the last Star Map. Revan found it on Manaan once before, and even if she doesn’t know it, Rena has the memory. A sacrifice needs to be made. My sacrifice. “We need to hurry,” I say, and we run through the center door. I only hope we’re not too late.

---

Malak moves fast. Almost too fast. I let myself react on instinct rather than using any particular form or thinking about my responses. I just let my mind go blank. Muscle memory. Memory. Memory. Nope, don’t want to think about that. Focus on this.

I’m not going to win this fight.

Malak reaches out a hand and suddenly I can’t move. God. No. No this can’t happen. Carth, if anything happens, I just want you to know I love --

“This isn’t over, Malak!” Bastila? They’re unfrozen. I’m not going to die today. But something’s not…

“Your friends do not give up easily, Revan,” Malak says, “You always could inspire loyalty. But even the three of you together cannot stand against my power!”

“For the Jedi!” Bastila shouts, and she throws her lightsaber at him. Malak starts to move towards her. I still can’t move, not yet. Focus, Rena, focus! Undo it! Do something! “I’ll hold Malak off!” she says, “You two get out of here! Find the Star Forge!”

“No, Bastila, he’s too strong!” Carth says, but she doesn’t change. “No!” She reaches out a hand and closes the door behind Malak, sealing them in. And suddenly I can move again, I don’t know how, but I can move. I’ve got to help her, I’ve got to get in there! I head for the lock, there’s got to be something I can do! Come on. Come on! “The door’s sealed, we can’t get past!” Carth says, trying to stop me, “Come on, we have to get to the Ebon Hawk!”

“No, we can’t, I have to help her!” I have to help her!

“Bastila doesn’t stand a chance against Malak, but we can’t help her. Not here.”

“I can’t let another person die!” I shout. I can’t. How many deaths did Revan cause? How many did Revan kill? I can’t do that again, I won’t have her death on my ledger, too!

“We have to get off this ship and find the Star Forge,” he insists, “That’s the key to beating Malak!”

“No, the key to defeating him is right behind this fucking door - are you going to help me or not?”

“No, I’m not!” he says, “Look, Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away, and I won’t let that sacrifice be in vain. If you won’t come with me, then I'll shoot you and carry you out, but I’d rather not do that. Don’t force my hand.”

I can’t leave her. But I can’t leave him. I can’t -- I don’t know! I - wait, what the fuck, put me down! “I’m not waiting for you to figure it out.” This is completely degrading.

Thankfully he puts me down when we get to the ship. “Get the hyperdrive up and running, they will have deactivated it on Saul’s orders. Let me know once it’s ready,” he says, “I don’t want to be here a minute longer than we have to be.” I nod and run for the hyperdrive engine. T3 whirs along behind me.

It’s something to focus on, at least. This wasn’t a single “flick a switch” deactivation, this was by the book. Power couplings disconnected, safety caps on the ends, this is going to take a bit. I pull my communicator out of my pocket and buzz Carth. “This is going to take a couple minutes, don’t do any fancy flying.” He acknowledges me but that’s it. I don’t have time to think about that right now. He gets us out of the hangar and the battle begins. Shield grid’s in good shape. Caps off the couplings, this may sting a bit. I don’t know as much about engines as I do about droids, but the caps seem to be the same, just scaled up. If a droid’s going to be powered down for a while or could get wet - like torrential downpour wet - you’re supposed to disconnect the power couplings and put rubber caps on the end, for safety. So no one gets electrocuted or so the power flow doesn’t get corrupted, because that’s a bear to fix. And if this were a droid, I’d want to start at the bottom coupling and work my way up. The process here should be the same, too - turn the power off or reroute it, pull the caps off, reconnect, reroute it back. So I start on the lowest of the four. Reroute, caps, reconne - Carth, I said no fancy flying! Stop with the loop de loops! Reconnect, reroute. Second. Try not to lose my lunch. As if I’ve eaten much today. Third. God, Mission, hit them before they hit us! Fourth. Come on, come on… Done! “Carth, punch it!”

Hyperspace. Finally. The worst is over.

Or… maybe it’s just getting started.

#star wars #knights of the old republic #star wars kotor #fiction #autistic artist #specs writes stuff #kotor fic #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #the first time that tag isn't a spoiler lol #carth onasi #bastila shan #darth malak #leviathan #swearing tw #does rena say fuck here? i forget and im not going to check

3 notes · View notes