#the way people talk about her is so disgusting

[jarofstyles]

Appetency

Okay so we've got a bit of a long one. Kinda enemies to lovers if you blink, fuckboyrry turned softrry, dedication galore, hesitant Y/N and confident H, you're gonna love it. This is the first half- the other half is already up on Patreon and will be here later on 💕

Check out our Patreon for early access to the second half and 200+ exclusive writings

Warnings- slight angst, mentions of anxiety, alcohol, cocky h turned into a loverboy... nothing too crazy in this part.

WC- 8.5k

“Why are you every-fucking-where.” Y/N stopped short, glaring at the man across from her. The entire party, she had been trying to avoid him- but he wasn’t letting that be at all possible.

Harry grinned widely at that, the most obnoxious and infuriatingly pretty smile with those stupid dimples. Leaning against the wall as he studied her for a good moment, there was no hiding the not so casual enjoyment he got out of flustering her. 

Finally, he broke the silence, standing up from his casually cool stance on the wall. She knew he was going to say something that annoyed her and it was proven as he opened his mouth. "C’mon, don’t be like that. Perhaps you just can't keep me off your mind, baby girl. Can’t stop thinking about me, seeing me everywhere…"

“Ew. Do not call me that.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust for the nickname, walking past him. He followed, of course, because he always did. “Just because we have a few similar friends doesn’t mean you need to be at every social event. I’d love a break from your smug face.”

"You can't possibly be getting tired of this handsome face already…" He protested as he followed behind, his words purposely trying to rile her up. Getting a rise out of her seemed to make his whole day, and usually she would laugh it off but this time… things were different. Finding a spot in the kitchen, he watched as she puttered around trying not to look at him. 

His eyes danced with amusement as he added in some more. "Or are you just mad that I always seem to steal the show, love? Not my fault that I'm effortlessly charming and captivating, darling."

“Humble, too.” She snorted, grabbing a drink from the cooler. Buzzballs were not the thing she’d want to choose when she was thinking about the next morning, but they were exactly what she needed when it came to trying to mentally escape right now. “You’re insufferable. Really.” His eyes were on her as she used her nail to pop open the cap. 

“So are you going to leave me alone, or follow me around all night?”

Harry chuckled in amusement at her sarcasm, enjoying the way she rolled your eyes at him. "Leave you alone when you look this lovely? Not a chance in hell, darling." He hummed, tapping his own bottle against the counter. He paid no mind to the new people who entered the space, eyes glued on the girl he was talking to. "But as much as I'd love to keep annoying you, I have a much better way we could spend time. Don't you remember, love?" He purred. “I certainly do. It’s hard to forget the way it feels when you moan-” The interruption was instant, her hand gripping onto him. 

“Harry…” she hissed, tugging his arm further down the dark hallway and into a bedroom. Who’s? She didn’t know. All she knew was that she had seen where this was going, and she didn’t want him to say it too loudly. Everyone was so god damn nosy and respectfully, she didn’t want to deal with any of that. Not after all she had said.

“Listen.” Putting her hands on her hips, she tilted her head up at him as he stood a little too close. “We hooked up, it was a mistake. You know it.” Though it didn’t seem like he thought so considering how he trailed her ever since. “We… we were a little drunk and I was lonely and you were there.” 

Y/N knew she was slightly lying, but she was trying to fool herself. If she said it enough times, maybe she’d believe it. They’d always had chemistry. It was intensity that burned between them, her disdain and his addiction to getting a rise out of her. It was only a matter of time that they’d give into some sort of blow out- but she hadn’t expected it to be as good as it was. It couldn’t happen again. 

Harry had that knowing smirk on his face as she tried to deny it all, knowing exactly where this was headed. The thrill of chasing her, of getting under her skin was intoxicating, addicting. He loved making her growl and huff and glare at him, because it meant getting her undivided attention.

"Was it really a mistake?" He asked as he leaned against the door, finally giving her some breathing room.  "Or have you just been avoiding me because you couldn't stop thinking about it?"

The truth was that he had been thinking about that night ever since. Multiple times. Before he went to sleep, when he was in the shower.. It was hard not to. 

Her jaw clenched, placing her bottle down and crossing her arms. “Look. You’re hot, Harry. You don’t need me to tell you that. You’ve got plenty big of an ego. But I’ve been avoiding you because it can not happen again.” 

Y/N knew that Nina was into Harry and she really didn’t want to start any drama. Not that he even seemed remotely into her, but because she acted like he was someone she had dibs on. As gross as it was, she tended to start shit with anyone Harry pursued and she just wasn’t in the season for drama. There were other things to worry about other than start a feud over a man. 

He had known about Nina's crush on him, but he didn't care about her. He never had, and he never would. As fucked up as it was, what they had, in his mind, was just a harmless flirtation, nothing more. Y/N knew that, but Nina didn’t. He couldn't have been more clear he had no interest in her, but some people took delusion to heart. 

It didn’t matter how good Harry gave it to her last time, how hard her legs shook, how sore she was in the best way. Didn’t matter if his tongue was hot and through and how he’d cleaned her up with it. It couldn’t be repeated.

Harry's smirk only widened as she openly admitted he was attractive, his ego inflating even more. But when she mentioned avoiding him, his smile faltered slightly.

"Why can't it happen again?" He asked, moving closer to her, his eyes darkened. Too close, making her take a deep breath. If there was one thing he would give him, his presence was commanding. Felt. Her body was very familiar with his now, wanting to lean into him, but she fought it.

“Because.” She sighed tiredly. “I really can’t deal with any drama. I’m exhausted, and the last thing I need is that she-devil going after me because she thinks I’m ‘stealing her man.’ “

The man let out a laugh, amused by the comment. Yeah, he knew exactly who she was referring to and found it funny. He knew she could be a drama queen, and he definitely didn't care for her possessive tendencies, but he had told her that they had nothing going on between them and never would.

He stepped closer to her, his greedy hands reaching out to touch her hips, his touch firm. "You're not stealing me, love. She never had me, and she's delusional if she thinks she does." His eyes gleamed with desire as he looked at her, his touch becoming a bit more possessive in his own way. "And I want you, not her."

“Harry, you don’t actually want me.” She groaned in frustration, trying to ignore how her tummy dropped as he pulled her into him, his other hand curling around her jaw. Stupid body, stupid hormones, stupid muscle memory.  “You think you do because you like a chase. You don’t actually like me or anything, you like how I fuck.” She said bluntly, glancing up at him.

Harry's smug expression faltered as she protested. He could feel the annoyance, but he also noticed the way her body responded to his touch. There was no denying that. "Is that what you really think?" He asked, his grip on her jaw tightening slightly as he looked down at her. "That I'm just chasing you only for the thrill of the chase, for the sex?"

His eyes darkened, his other hand moving lower on her hip, pulling her flush against him. He could feel her body against his, the softness, the warmth, and he wanted it all back. There had been no way she could tell him that she hadn’t enjoyed it, considering he’d made her cum 3 times, made her gush all over his cock. She’d clung to him, held onto him, whimpered his name. But he’d taken care of her, he had gotten her some pomegranate juice and a snack, helped her tie her hair up, driven her home. When the contact had been nonexistent, he was hoping she was just making him work for it- but that wasn’t all this was to him.

“Yeah.” She furrowed her brows. “Is it not?” Harry wasn’t the relationship type, not usually. Everyone knew that. Y/N had constantly reminded herself that when they’d first met and she had a bit of a crush on him, only to see that he liked to fuck em’ and leave ‘em. It lost the appeal and she had resented him a bit for it. 

Was it fair? No. She knew that. But their dynamic had been built on that resentment. 

Harry's jaw clenched at her response, frustration and something else flickering in his face. He loosened his grip on her slightly, his gaze searching her eyes, trying to convey something she obviously wasn’t picking up on.

"And what if I told you that you were wrong?" He asked, his voice low. "What if I told you that there's more to me than just chase and sex?" He tilted his face closer to hers, his hand on her hip keeping her snug. He hadn't realized it himself just how touch deprived for her he actually was. Did she really think it was all just… a game? Had he not proven himself to her that night? Granted, he had maybe fucked up in how he communicated after but… the ball had been put in her court. 

He could tell that she was skeptical, but he was determined to make her believe him.

"I want you." He said firmly, his hand on her jaw moving to wrap around the back of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair. "I want everything. Your body, your mind, your heart." His hand on her hip moved lower, his touch a little needy. "And the fact that I can't have you is driving me insane. Want you to believe me."

“But why?” She sputtered. “All we do is argue. All I do is blow you off and all you do is follow me around to piss me off.” 

She had no idea he had his own fascination with her. How he’d silently watched her, observed, saw how she was with other people and wanted that chance to feel that. To have one of those smiles for himself.

Harry shook his head with a light laugh, his grip on her flexing slightly as he stared down at the girl he had been playing cat and mouse with. "Because I'll take the arguing, the blowoffs, all of it, just to be near you. I don't know when it truly started, but you've gotten under my skin, love." He pushed her back against the door, his body pressed against hers, trapping the girl. Looking down at her, his eyes were dark with desire, with honesty. It was a little unsettling.

“Harry.” She swallowed, eyes fluttering as his fingers stroked over her jaw and down over her throat, tenderness tinging the touches. “It’s not funny if this is a joke. It’s not.”

Harry's let out a tired breath, his touch gentle as he stroked her delicate skin, taking advantage of every touch. He could see that vulnerability in her eyes, and it only made him more determined to prove himself. "M’not joking. " He said firmly. "This is serious, I want you, and m’not giving up until I have you."

“Then you’re gonna have to work for it.” She exhaled sharply, pushing out of his hold and escaping back towards the party.

Y/N was almost fooled into giving in again- but she could give in without a real, true idea of what he was dedicated to. Maybe it was cruel of her to try and write him off as a bit of a slut trying his luck, but she’d never been awarded the chance to get to know him outside of their usual dynamic. 

That was why, the next day, seeing him on her front porch had her gasping in surprise. “Shit!” She yelped, keys falling to the wood below her. 

He looked good. The night of sleep seemed to refresh him, he’d showered, and he was bright eyed this morning. Determined. Why? She didn’t know. But this was not at all what she had expected when opening her front door. “ You scared the fuck out of me. What are you doing here?”

"Good morning, love." He greeted her. “Nice to see you this mornin’. You look gorgeous.” That cheeky fucking grin, as usual, tilted on his mouth. 

She crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow in question. "You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

Harry flashed her a grin, completely unfazed by her skepticism.  "I'm here to see you, of course." He said, as if it was obvious. “Silly thing.”

“Why?” She didn’t want to get too huffy with him but he was nearly speaking in riddles and she didn’t have the patience for that. “Are you alright?”

Of course he was amused at how frustrated she looked, finding her impatience obviously endearing. Maybe it was just her, though. Y/N was a bit of a weakness of his, he found. Pushing himself up the final step, he grabbed her keys and handed them back to her, making no effort to pull his hands away from her own. 

"I'm fine, love." He hummed casually. "I just wanted to see you." Holding her hands in his, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on the skin. Casual intimacy that slightly caught her off guard.

The girl merely looked at him in confusion.  The plan for today had been to go to the grocery shop and do stuff around the house, not entertain the man who had admitted to wanting her last night- but she knew if he was here, it meant he was determined to get his way.

Aka, spending time with her. 

“Okay.. So now you saw me.” She said lowly. “Do you want to go home now?”

The sight of her looking so flustered and on edge fueling his determination, he shook his head.  "Not yet." He said, his voice low and firm. "M’not leaving until I get some of your time."

Y/N closed her eyes, taking a deep inhale through her nose and exhaling through her mouth. Meditative breathing did wonders, it seemed. Usually. She knew Harry well enough to know that he wasn’t going to let this go. He was going to keep prodding until he understood that he probably had no actual intention of being around her long term. He was looking at her with metaphorical sex goggles on. Yeah, she was good in bed, but that was only a tiny portion of her. 

He’d learn eventually.

“Well, I have to go to the store. So…”

Harry watched you closely as she opened her eyes from the attempting to calm herself. It was a little unnerving to know she needed to calm down from such a simple interaction but then again, he had been coming on a little strong. It was his nature, but he tried to relax his stance a bit. No way was he going to let an opportunity to spend time with her be wasted. He was dedicated now, wanting to win her over.  "You're going to the store?" He leaned in closer. “Looks like I'll just have to come with you, then."

Y/N sputtered as he took her handbag and totes from her, tucking them under his arm as the other held her hand. 

“C’mon.” He said smugly, pulling her towards his car. She followed, confused at how he had just agreed to go grocery shopping with her. Willingly. It wasn’t something he liked doing and she knew that- she somehow had found out one night that he had his delivered- but he seemed eager to do this with her. 

The last thing she expected was for him to open the passenger door and help her inside, but he did. Like it was second nature, opening it up and taking her hand to aid her into sitting sound, placing her bags on her lap.

Harry's smirk widened as he scooped up her handbag and totes, his grip on your hand firm as he guided her towards his car. He snickered under her breath at her sputtered protest, enjoying her disbelief that he was actually willing to go grocery shopping with her. Like it was some sort of hardship.

Once he had settled her in, he leaned in closer, the smell of cinnamon gum filling her senses. Keeping his stance, his eyes locked on her, his gaze intense. He could see the confusion in her eyes, and it only fueled his determination to make it second nature to her, to expect this sort of thing from him. . 

"You look cute this morning." He said, his voice low and smooth. "Did you get much sleep last night?" He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his touch gentle.

Her cheeks felt hot as he tenderly touched her, the softness of it all surprising her. “Um… I did.” The compliment had flustered her too. It wasn’t something she was used to from him. Their usual dynamic was tense on her end and being a pain in the ass with a stupid smirk on his. This sort of treatment was new to her. 

“Thanks. You look….” It felt unnatural to compliment him, but she meant it. Strangely enough. All of this was so new to her.  “Nice.”

Harry chuckled at the slight hesitation in her words, enjoying the way she was thrown off by his tenderness. One day she was going to accept it.  He smiled at her attempt at a compliment, narrowing his gaze at her. "Just nice?" He teased, raising an eyebrow.  He placed a light hand on her knee, his thumb stroking her skin in small circles, his touch gentle and comforting.

“Well, handsome? I dunno.” She grumbled. “Just so you know, you’re carrying all the grocery bags. If you insist on coming along you need to be useful.”

"Oh, I can be very useful, love. You jus’ need to find out what else I can off s’all." He said, his hand continuing its caressing on her knee, his touch sending a little jolt through her body "And don’t worry, I’ll carry all the bags. You just worry about picking out what you need."

Harry could see the doubt in her eyes as he reassured her about carrying the bags, and he knew he had to prove it. Not just that, but the whole thing. He hadn’t won her over quite yet, but he would. 

Removing his hand from her knee, he ignored how much he missed the touch and stood up straight, standing tall and strong next to the car. 

"You don’t believe me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Just watch, sweetheart. Gonna shock the shit out of you."

——-

Y/N was suspicious. 

Harry was… behaving. More than, actually. He was being sweet and polite, borderline charming. Standing beside her as she pushed the cart, grabbing the items at the top shelves, not rushing her at all. He was flirty, sure, but nothing insane that truly made her roll her eyes at him. His voice was soft spoken and held only a tiny bit of the arrogance it usually did… and she liked it.

Who the fuck was this? And what had they done with the normal Harry? 

“You’re freaking me out a little.” She mumbled, checking off another thing on her list. “Like, you’re being pleasant. That’s not normal for you.”

"What, I can't be pleasant sometimes?" He teased, giving her a look. 

He couldn't help but grin as he watched her check off another item on the grocery list, his eyes roaming freely over her focused expression. He was enjoying this, he realized, enjoying the chance to be close to her more than he would have ever expected. "Maybe I’m just in a good mood today." He said, leaning against the cart.

“It’s just suspicious.” She glanced at him from the side of her eye. “You’re always following me around and trying to get me to snap at you. So excuse me for being a little confused when you’re acting so normal and nice.”

Harry liked working her up and getting reactions out of her, but he liked her. Y/N gave him the tummy butterflies, the excitement, the hot cheeks, all of it. She just didn’t know that- or was heavily in denial. It was his fault, he knew, from never expressing how serious the desires were and expecting her to read between the lines. But fuck, could she blame him? Y/N was a spitfire.

“Can you- fuck.” She groaned. “This can not get any worse.” 

Across the aisle, she saw her. Nina. Glaring at the scene of Harry standing a little too close to Y/N, doing a domestic activity like shopping together… It looked like they were way more than friends. This wasn’t something he liked doing and of course, the other girl would know that… So the situation didn’t look too good.

Harry could feel the shift in her mood as she spotted Nina across the aisle, and he tensed up slightly, ready for the inevitable confrontation.  Fuck, and they’d been doing so good. Of course, someone had to throw him a curveball. 

Good thing he was willing to work for this. 

"Relax." He said quietly, his hand squeezing her shoulder reassuringly, thumbing over the fabric. "I'll handle it."

Harry could feel the tension in her body as he held onto her, knowing that she was on edge. He knew Nina could be a handful, and he didn't want her to add to the stress of the situation. Especially after Y/N was seemingly warming up to him.

He took a deep breath and turned to her, his expression neutral but firm. 

"Nina." He said, his voice calm and steady- almost bored. "Why are you glaring at us like that?”

Nina’s eyes flicked between the pair, her expression hardening as she spoke. “What are you two doing?” She asked, her voice dripping with disdain. 

Harry kept his expression neutral, his hand on Y/N unmoving as he spoke to her. “We’re shopping. Is that a crime?” He replied, his tone cool.

Nina’s lip curled up in a sneer, her eyes narrowing. "Shopping? Is that all?" She asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Awfully domestic, isn’t it?”

Harry chuckled, unruffled by her attitude. "Yes, Nina. We’re just picking up some groceries. Is that so hard to believe?" he challenged, letting her try and intimidate him. It wasn’t going to work. 

The girl’s jaw clenched as Harry responded to her, clearly annoyed at the lack of reaction she was getting from him. 

She took a step closer, sizing Y/N up with an unpleasant expression. She really needed to not make that face- it was unflattering.  “Is this a date or something?” She snapped, her eyes flickering over to Harry.

Harry chuckled at Nina’s question, finding her assumption humorous. 

He looked over at the girl he wished would say yes, his eyes filled with amusement. "What do you think, love?” He taunted.  Maybe it wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he didn’t particularly care. 

Y/N rolled her eyes. This wasn’t what she wanted out of this interaction. Hell- she never wanted his interaction at all. “We’re shopping.” She said lowly. “And we have to go.”

Nina pursed her lips as her response, clearly unsatisfied with the answer she was given. She never could leave well enough alone. Harry could see her gearing up for another snarky comment, so he quickly interjected. 

"She’s right." He said, his tone firm. “We do have to go. Bye."  There was no hint of remorse on his face as he motioned for her to get out of the way. 

With that, he guided Y/N forward, steering both her and the cart towards the checkout area.

“Christ.” Y/N rubbed her temples. “She’s gonna try and burn my house down. I know it.” She sulked.

Harry chuckled at the outburst. He continued steering the cart towards the checkout area as she went back over the list, a small smile on his lips. 

"Don't be so overdramatic." He teased. "She's not gonna burn down your house. She's just jealous."

“Harry, she’s scared like, 4 women away from hanging out anywhere near you completely.” Y/N sighed. “I know you don’t see it as much, but she’s tenacious. I don’t know what’s going to get her to stop, but you need to actually have a conversation with her to tell her you’re not interested. Or whoever ends up being your girlfriend is going to have to deal with her crawling around.”

Harry’s smile faded slightly as she mentioned Nina’s past behavior. He knew she could be intense and possessive, but he didn’t realize the extent of her actions. Considering he hadn’t even slept with her, it seemed like a massive overreaction. Of course there had been natural curiosity over some of the women in their friend circle had gone, but now that question had been answered. 

He bit his lip, mulling over the words as he helped her load the groceries onto the checkout belt. "You’re right." He said finally, his voice serious as it broke up the beeping of the items being scanned. "I guess I didn’t realize it was that serious. M’sorry. I don't particularly want to have that conversation, but it needs to be had. I’ll talk to her."

Harry continued helping you with the groceries, lost in thought for a moment before speaking again. "I’ll talk to her soon, make sure she knows for sure me and her are never going to be a thing and if she wants to try and scare off anyone I talk to, she won’t be invited to anything else." He said firmly, his eyes serious. 

"But first," he added, breaking the tense air as his tone turned playful again, "We have to get these groceries home. I’m starving."

—

It was safe to say that she was even more confused than she had started off being. 

Harry helped her bring the groceries into her place. He helped her unpack. He even fed her cat while she washed the fruit so she could put it away. Helping himself to her house like he had a right to be there, a comfortability that had her a little spooked. 

It was hard to accept the thought of Harry actually liking her. First, she hadn’t ever seen him with a serious girlfriend. All she had been exposed to was seeing him fucking around with different people. Secondly, he was always so playful and unserious that internally, the most insecure part of her felt like maybe it was a trick, and it made her more apprehensive of him. 

It wasn’t fair of her to be so judgmental when she was not a virgin mary herself; she knew that she wasn’t giving him a proper shot, but it was scary. He was scary, in a way.  Maybe it was the idea of how far feelings could go if she gave in, but it felt hard to stop those original emotions she had towards him from coming back. 

“Thank you.” She said awkwardly as Harry sat at her breakfast bar. “Um, for helping put away the stuff and bringing it inside. That was really nice of you.”

Harry, who was lounging in a chair at the breakfast bar, chuckled at the awkward gratitude.  "S’no big deal." He said, his tone casual. "I’m happy to help." 

He leaned back in the chair, his eyes roaming over her face, his favorite thing to do. Watching her was the best part of being around her.  He could see the tension in her shoulders and the uncertainty in her expression, and it made him wonder what was going on in that head of hers. Why she was so apprehensive. Yeah, he knew he had a weird dynamic with her before, but no one thought of him as a bad guy.

The longer he looked, the longer Harry could tell that there was something bothering her, and he wanted to find out what. Call it morbid curiosity, but it was needed. He leaned forward a bit, his eyes locked on her pretty face.

"You seem a little tense." He said, his voice soft. "Is everything okay? You've been quiet since we got back."

She hadn’t expected him to call her out on it, but she should have. Harry was as blunt as they came, and she could have laughed at it if she didn’t feel a little anxious. 

“I’m okay.” She wrapped her arms around herself, looking at her feet for a moment the soft green ladybug socks he had given her a laugh over. “I’m a little anxious, I guess. This new dynamic kind of… put me off kilter.” The confession hung in the air before she continued.  “I’m used to you being annoying and… I dunno. It’s unfair of me, but I keep getting nervous that this is some joke to you and you’re gonna go back to being obnoxious once I let my guard down.” She winced. “And I’m sorry. That isn’t fair to you when I know I haven’t been the nicest to you either. But I guess you intimidate me a little.”

Harry listened intently as she spoke, his expression softening as she revealed the source of the troubled look on her face. He knew that he had been a bit of an arse in the past too, and he could understand why his sudden change in behavior had thrown her off. 

He leaned forward on his hands, his gaze still fixed on the girl’s tense stance, lips rolled into her mouth. "I get it." He said quietly. "And I’m sorry if I intimidated you or made you uncomfortable. That’s the last thing I wanted to do."  He ran a hand through his hair, sighing softly. "And as for this being a joke... it’s not. Not in the slightest. Trust me."

“I guess I’m a little confused too.” She admitted. “Where all of this is coming from. I know we hooked up a few weeks ago, but you didn’t call me or anything after. I wasn’t expecting you to, don’t get me wrong, but then I felt awkward seeing you at all the events and stuff and you were acting normal. I never let you get alone with me on purpose because I didn’t want to hear you tease me for giving into you.”

Harry’s expression soured a bit as she brought up the hook-up. He knew he hadn’t done anything to dispel her doubts about his intentions, and he felt a pang of regret.  He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. How could he explain it without sounding as stupid as he felt? “I know I didn’t call you after, and I should have. I was an idiot… I just… I thought maybe you wanted me to chase a bit, that the ball had been left in your court after I dropped you off at home and… and I didn’t think, honestly.”  He ran a hand through his hair, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. 

“You have to understand why I’m a little uneasy.” With arms wrapped around herself, she let herself look back up at him. There was no trace of joking on his features and it did make her feel a tad bit better.  “It’s not that I didn’t like… what we did.” It was the best she’d ever had. “But I think I’m not cut out for just hooking up. I don’t regret it, even if I acted like I did.” She decided to give him a tiny bit of her vulnerability to see what he did with it. “I just know that hooking up, for me, never ends well. And I don’t know you really well, Harry.” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt, nerves shot. The last thing she wanted to do was seem desperate about locking him down or something, but she couldn’t lie to him or herself.

“I’m not trying to make you feel any sort of pressure to want to date me or anything. I’m just trying to lay down a boundary that for me, I think I’m one of those people that really needs an intimate connection and trust with someone. For some reason I trusted you that night, and I know you wouldn’t harm me in that way, but sobered up and standing in front of you, I feel a little apprehensive. Like, I don’t want you to feel any sort of pressure from me, but in order to have me in the way you said you want… it has to have some level of commitment is basically what I’m trying to say.”

Harry listened intently as she laid down the boundaries, his expression thoughtful. He could see the vulnerability in her eyes and in the way she fidgeted with her shirt, and it tugged at his heart in a way he hasn't felt before.  The last thing he wanted was for her to feel any sort of regret and he was glad she hadn’t so far, but he had to appreciate her laying out the law here. It gave him direction on where to go. When she finished speaking, he took a moment to process the words before responding. He can feel the seriousness of the conversation, and it's clear that she wasn’t making demands lightly.

He took a deep breath, his own vulnerability on display in his honest gaze. It was imperative to him that she understood how much he got it. How dedicated he would be to it if given the chance. "I understand." He said quietly, licking over his bottom lip. "I understand that you need a committed relationship, darling. I also understand that you need trust and intimacy in order to get there." he added, his voice soft. 

He took a moment to organize his thoughts, then continued speaking. It should be laid out in front of her. “You know, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… about us, I mean.”

“What do you mean?” She asked quietly, taking the moment to look him in the eye. It was the most serious she had ever seen him. Usually he had that smirk on his face, so smug or teasing, he’d be poking and prodding at her to get a reaction- but nothing about this interaction was insincere. It was almost off putting to see him this way.

Harry's gaze met hers, his eyes intense. "I mean that I've been thinking about us in a more serious way." he admitted.  He took a deep breath, his expression tentative. "I know I've been kind of hot and cold with you… and I know that I've played games in the past. But after we hooked up… I really couldn’t stop thinking about you. How different we were like that… How good it felt. So I want you to know that... I don’t want to play games with you. I want t’be serious about this."

Y/N hadn’t expected that answer. In all honesty she thought he’d reject her, say he wasn’t into it and keep it moving. That was what she was prepared for- not this. That sort of confession had her realizing that maybe she really didn’t know him at all. She knew some parts, sure, but seeing him like this was brand new. This man in front of her was a familiar stranger, at least this new side.

“I’d have to get to know you better.” She brushed her hair behind her ear, giving him a tentative look. “And it would be a little slow. I think I could give you a chance, though. I’ve been unfair to you, I think. I feel like we… kind of got off on the wrong foot.”

Harry lets out a small sigh of relief, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “I’m okay with slow.” he says, his voice sincere. “I’m willing to work for it.”

He leaned back a bit, giving her a little more space as a hint of his usual playfulness returned to his features.. “And I think you’re right… we got off on the wrong foot. But I’m glad we’re taking the time to get to know each other now.”

——-

—— 

Harry was coming over again. 

It was strange. Since they’d agreed to explore something romantic, seriously, he had changed. Not completely, not to the point where she wondered who he was before, but enough to make her soften up. Hints of him being a pain in the ass we’re still there. But he was… sweet. Genuine. A little silly in a cute way that she hadn’t allowed herself to enjoy before. 

One of the biggest shocks of all, was the fact that he was so gentle with her. He handled her with care, even if he was a little overly touchy. She was getting used to it because she found herself liking it, but he was the first guy to really be a bit of a clinger. 

That was the last thing she had ever expected from him.

His touches were soft and sweet and he looked at her with this little twinkle in his eye that she knew he couldn’t genuinely fake it. He liked her- liked her , liked her. 

She was still a bit shy with him, but it was slowly melting away each time they saw each other. Now the nerves were barely there, being overtaken by anticipation and excitement. It wasn’t something she’d ever thought would happen- being excited and antsy to see Harry, wanting him back in her house. 

He was coming over tonight and she had been prepping for a bit, primping and priming herself even though she wanted to look casual. There was never once so far that he hadn’t told her she looked gorgeous, and it had started becoming part of her daily routine. She wanted to impress him, make him say it again and mean it.

Her tummy twisted as she heard his car door slam shut, smiling to herself as she adjusted her cropped top and went towards the door. 

He was beautiful. Really, gorgeous as she opened the door to reveal him in the early evening light. He looked a little tired from work,slight bags under his eyes, but his smile melted her a little as he walked right into the house, dropping his bag in the foyer with little care for its well-being and picked her up in a big hug. Her feet dangled as she squealed, strong arms wrapped around her waist as he lifted her effortlessly. 

“Hi.” She beamed shyly, feeling him set her down on the floor.

Harry couldn’t help but grin as he placed her down, his strong arms wrapping around her waist lazily.. He loved how delicate she felt in his arms, and he loved the way she squealed with surprise as he lifted her up a bit. Really, he loved most things that had to do with her. Taking a moment to admire her cozy appearance, his gaze lingered on her cropped top. “Hi.” He replied, his voice soft and warm. “You look beautiful.”

Like clockwork.

Before she could respond, Harry was pulling her back into a hug, burying his face in her shoulder as he held her, rocking slightly. A prime example of how touchy he was, unable to stop himself. He nuzzled her neck, letting his cool nose brush against the hot skin. “I missed you.” he mumbled, his voice muffled against her, leaving a little shiver in it’s wake..

When he said things like that it made her want to giggle madly, but also melt into a puddle. He truly meant it, was the thing, and she had a hard time understanding how this had happened. How he had gone from her little enemy to the person she looked toward to seeing the most. 

“I missed you too.” She admitted, fingers tracing down his back. It was an attempt to get more open about her feelings. Harry was being candid about his own, so she felt like she could extend him the same grace. Even if it was slightly terrifying, she had no reason to hold back anymore.

Harry pulled back slightly to look at her, a soft smile on his lips at her shy admission. "I like it when you say that." he teased, his voice low.  He brought his hands up to rest on her hips, his thumbs tracing small circles on the bare skin. He loved the way the cropped top revealed just enough to make him want more, and he found himself struggling to focus on anything but the feel of her body under his hands.

Harry wanted her, and there was obvious desire for her there. In all honesty, there was a lot of desire for her in general that he had done his best to keep under wraps  He’d been so good, trying so hard to prove himself- but that didn’t mean he was a saint. He was beyond attracted to her in every sense of the word, and it was hard to ignore that..

“Excuse me.” She let her smile grow, her tone playful. “My eyes are up here.” 

Y/N knew Harry wanted her in all of the ways, and he’d been exceedingly patient. He knew she was trying to build their connection before getting intimate with him again, and she appreciated it- but that didn’t mean she didn’t enjoy knowing he desired her. 

Or that she didn’t have those same urges.

Harry's gaze flicked back up to meet hers, a cheeky grin on his face. "I know where your eyes are. I look at them plenty, do I not?" He replied smoothly, his hands still resting on her waist, giving a gentle squeeze.  He couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she shot him a look, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "But you can't expect me to ignore the rest of you when you're wearing something as distracting as that." Testing the waters, he was seeing how far his flirtation could go.

“It’s loungewear, you freak.” She scoffed, a hint of a smile turning up her lips. Leggings and a cropped top were a bit of a reward for him, though. She figured if he had been so patient with her then he could at least get to look at her. “But I’m glad you like it.” 

Taking his hand in her smaller one, she led him towards the kitchen to show him the pizza boxes and salad she had made to pair with it, feeling weirdly shy about it. That was the theme of today, considering she had come to a conclusion in her head- but he didn’t need to know about it quite yet. “I knew you’d be hungry when you got off work, so I ordered ahead.”

Harry's eyes lit up as he saw the food, warmth spreading through him. No one had been thoughtful like that to him before, but of course she would be. This sort of thing was why he had liked her. He’d seen it time and time again with their other friends and secretly wished for some of it for himself, that sort of care… and now that he got it, he felt that yearning for her get a little bit stronger. He let out a low whistle. "You knew exactly what I needed." he murmured, a grateful smile on his lips. 

Pulling her into him, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind. He nuzzled her neck again, his breath warm on her skin. "You're too good to me." he murmured, his voice showing just how grateful he was.

Y/N shivered slightly as he spoke against her skin, large arms wrapping around her and making her feel that same brand of delicacy that only Harry had been able to accomplish. His arms were just… beautiful. Built and muscular, covered in those tattoos, she loved every single thing about them. Looking at them, feeling them, how he used them… she couldn’t admit it out loud yet, but being in his arms was one of her new favorite places. 

“You texted and said you didn’t sleep well and you had a rougher day at work and… I dunno. I thought maybe you’d like something ready when you came over. I would have cooked myself but I had a workshop.” She rambled on a little bit, feeling the need to overexplain herself.

Harry squeezed her tighter, his chin resting on her shoulder. He inhaled her scent, his nose buried in hair as she spoke. 

"Mmm. " He hummed, his voice low and gravelly. He ran his nose over her throat, lips brushing against the sensitive skin. "You didn't have to do all this, you know." He moved his hands down over her hips, his thumbs tracing soft circles on the exposed skin there. "But I'm really grateful you did." He was quiet for a moment before speaking again, his grip on her tightening slightly. "Can I ask you somethin’?"

“Hm?” She replied. It was hard to focus. Sure, it would be awkward if anyone else say them just standing in her kitchen with the large man wrapped around her body, but no one else was there to judge her for indulging both herself and him in this sort of cuddle. 

Harry's body was pressed against her, a small smile on his lips. He really did enjoy this moment of quiet intimacy just as much as he enjoyed the more energetic moments where they’d go out or he’d help her take care of her garden.

"Can I stay over tonight?"

It should have been a scarier question to her, all things considered, but the answer came out of her mouth naturally. 

“Sure.” She nodded. There was no second guessing it either. “Is that what that bag was?” She realized he had brought in a bigger duffle than his usual work one, but she had thought it was maybe just to change from his work clothes.

Harry's smile grew as she agreed so easily. "Mhmm." he hummed, his voice low. His hands moved up her sides, tracing the curve of her waist. "I wanted to be prepared just in case you said yes." Presumptuous? He’d prefer the terms hopeful, even confident. They’d been doing so well, he had to at least ask.

He pulled back slightly, looking down at her with a hint of a smirk on his face. "So... where can I sleep?"

He turned her in his grip, letting her look up at his face now with narrowed eyes. Her heartbeat quickened though she tried to calm it down. He was teasing her a little bit, but he did genuinely want to know. 

“If you promise no extreme funny business… you can sleep in my bed.” She placed her hand on his bicep, squeezing a little. It was her own reward. “But remember, Harry. No sex. Okay?” Gliding her other hand up to cuff over the back of his neck, she decided it was finally time to tease him back a bit. “However… If you’re really, really nice to me… I may let you kiss me again.”

Harry's smile widened, his eyes sparkling with a hint of challenge. He leaned down, bringing his face closer to the girl’s.  "You're being bold, darling." he teased, his voice low and playful. "Are you trying to tempt me?"

“A little.” She hummed. “I like when you’re sweet to me. So if you keep it up, I’ll let you kiss me as long as you’d like tonight. I know I’ve been holding all of that intimacy hostage…” 

It had been driving him wild. Near kisses and her letting him brush his hand over the curve of her ass a few times before putting them back up to her hips, he’d tested the waters but got rejected. Now, she was loosening up a bit. 

“So.” She blinked up at him. “Are you gonna be nice to me tonight so you can kiss me?”

Harry's eyes glinted with a mixture of desire and playful mischief. He loved it when she teased him just as much as he loved it when she got all shy and flustered. Which one he likes more, he couldn’t tell. "Oh, I'll be so nice to you tonight you won't be able to stand it." he purred, his voice low and husky. 

He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her closer until their bodies were flush against each other. "But I have one condition, little miss."

“What is that?” She questioned, unsure what it could be. With him, it could be anything.

"You have to promise me that if I'm being too... forward, you'll tell me to back off. I don't want to overstep. Even though I want to kiss you until you can't think straight. So promise me you'll speak up if I get too much." 

Her smile widened, nodding in agreement. He’d just earned himself quite a few points. Never had she expected him to be as respectful as he was, but she utterly adored it.  “I will. I promise, I’ll tell you.” She agreed, leaning up to kiss the curve of his jaw. “But it’s time for you to eat. I can feel your tummy grumbling.”

Harry let out a low chuckle, his eyes flickering over her pretty face. He loved the way her smile widened, and the feeling of her plump lips against his jaw send a shiver down his spine. More. He wanted more, and more, until their mouths were tingling and numb. Until she looked drunk on the kisses, clinging to him like he could only hope.

"Mmm. Okay, fine." he grumbled. "I'll eat. But only if you feed me, since you were so kind as to order ahead for me." He gave her a puppy-dog look, his lower lip jutted out in a mock-pout. It was good, she’s give him that- but not good enough.

“Absolutely not.” She snorted. “Nice try.”

[baelabong]

ᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜ

(ʜᴏᴛʜᴇᴀᴅᴇᴅ!ᴋᴀʀɪɴᴀ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

Plot: having no label is hard. karina simply isnt yours and you are simply not karinas

warnings/notes: no label, angst to fluff

you had been having a decent time. the party wasn’t anything too wild—just a typical saturday night get-together at someone’s house. the living room was packed, the music a little too loud, but you didn’t mind. you’d seen enough familiar faces to feel comfortable, even if you weren’t close to most people there. you were content, sipping your drink while casually chatting with a few friends. the easy flow of conversation and laughter kept things light, and you liked that there wasn’t any pressure to do anything other than enjoy the moment.

still, there was a bit of an edge to the night, something that felt off. maybe it was the way a few people seemed to be lingering around you more than usual, or maybe it was the glances karina had been throwing your way from across the room. she wasn’t right next to you, but you could feel her presence like a weight, her dark eyes tracking your every move.

you didn’t think much of it at first. karina had always been a little protective, especially when other people got too close. it was kind of sweet, even if her jealousy had a habit of showing up at the worst times. but tonight, you figured it would be fine—no need to stir the pot.

then, everything changed.

one moment, you were laughing about some dumb joke your friend told, and the next, he appeared. some guy you vaguely recognized from another class, someone whose name you could barely remember but whose face was annoyingly familiar. at first, he just hovered nearby, and you assumed he was waiting for a break in the conversation to say something. you figured he was just being friendly.

"hey, y/n, come here for a second," he said, that grin on his face too smug for comfort. you gave him a polite smile, thinking he’d ask some random question or try to make small talk.

"what’s up?" you asked, glancing back at your friends to make sure you weren’t missing out on anything.

but before you knew it, he was leaning in way too close, his hand brushing your arm in a way that made you stiffen. alarms went off in your head, but you didn’t even have time to pull away before his lips were on yours.

your entire body froze.

you hadn’t seen it coming. hadn’t expected any of it. his kiss was sloppy, invasive, and nothing about it felt right. your mind blanked for a second, too shocked to process what was happening, but then your instincts kicked in. you shoved him away, the force of your push catching him off guard, making him stumble back a step.

“what the hell is wrong with you?” you spat, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. the taste of his kiss made your stomach churn.

he just grinned, like it was no big deal, like you hadn’t just shoved him away in disgust. “chill out, it was just a kiss,” he said, chuckling as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.

your hand curled into a fist, the urge to slap him bubbling just beneath the surface, but before you could act on it, you felt something.

eyes on you.

you turned your head slightly, and there she was.

karina.

she had been leaning casually against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching the party unfold. except now, her posture had gone rigid, her gaze locked on you and the guy. her eyes were dark, burning with something that looked like pure rage, and you could practically feel the heat of her jealousy from across the room.

“karina, wait—” you started, but she didn’t give you the chance to explain.

her expression was unreadable, lips pressed into a thin, tight line as she uncrossed her arms and turned on her heel, storming toward the door. you could hear the sharp sound of her boots as they hit the floor, each step angrier than the last. she didn’t stop, didn’t slow down, didn’t even look back.

the front door slammed so hard it made a few people look up, the music faltering for a moment as awkward glances were exchanged. you stood there, breath caught in your throat, watching the door like you could will her to come back. but she was gone, leaving nothing but the echo of the slam behind her.

"damn," one of your friends muttered. "was that karina? she looked pissed."

you swallowed, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach. "yeah. she—she probably misunderstood." but even as you said it, you knew it wasn’t that simple.

you hadn’t done anything wrong. you didn’t ask for that guy to kiss you, didn’t encourage it, didn’t want it. but none of that seemed to matter when it came to karina’s jealousy.

"she’ll come back," your friend said, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal.

you weren’t sure how long you stood there, trying to process what had just happened, before deciding to follow her outside. you weren’t going to let her leave like that, not without explaining what really went down. she didn’t give you a chance to clear things up inside, but you were determined to make her listen.

you found her a few streets over, walking fast, her hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket. the cool night air made her breath come out in quick puffs, but she didn’t seem to notice—or care—that you were following her.

“karina!” you called out, your footsteps quickening as you tried to catch up to her.

she didn’t respond. she just kept walking, her shoulders stiff, her whole body radiating anger.

“karina, can you stop for a second?” your voice was louder this time, and finally, she slowed to a stop, turning around sharply to face you.

her eyes were cold, her jaw clenched tight as she stared at you. “what do you want, y/n?”

“i want to talk. i want to explain what happened,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady, but the frustration was starting to creep in. she was being unreasonable, and you both knew it.

“what’s there to explain?” she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. “i saw it, y/n. i saw him kiss you.”

you took a step closer, your hands out in front of you like you were trying to show her that you weren’t the enemy. “yeah, but you didn’t see me shove him off, did you? i didn’t want him to kiss me, karina. i didn’t even know it was coming.”

karina’s expression didn’t soften. if anything, her anger seemed to deepen. “you didn’t stop him fast enough,” she muttered, looking away like she couldn’t stand to meet your eyes.

your frustration flared. “what do you want me to do, karina? rewind time and punch him before it happens?” you threw your hands up in exasperation. “i did shove him off. i didn’t let him do anything.”

she was quiet for a moment, her eyes narrowing as she looked off into the distance. “it shouldn’t have happened at all.”

“you’re right. it shouldn’t have. but that’s not on me. i didn’t ask for it.” your voice was sharper now, the sting of her accusations starting to grate on you.

“i don’t like seeing other people touch you,” she admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “especially not some guy who thinks he can just... do whatever he wants.”

you softened a little at that, realizing that this wasn’t just about the kiss. it was about her. about how she felt about you, about her own insecurities. “karina, i get it. i really do. but you can’t just get mad at me for something i didn’t control.”

she exhaled sharply, looking down at the ground. “i know. i just... it pisses me off. the idea of someone else—”

“i’m not interested in anyone else,” you cut her off gently, taking another step toward her. “you know that.”

she finally looked at you, her eyes still clouded with frustration but softer than before. “yeah, i know. but still—”

“then trust me,” you said, your voice steady. “trust me enough to know that i won’t let something like that slide.”

karina lets out a frustrated sigh, pacing in front of you as her usual calm façade starts to crack. "you know what?" she says, almost as if she’s talking to herself, "this is dumb. there's nothing going on between us anyway, right?"

her words hit like a punch to the chest, and you quickly sit up from where you were lounging on the bleachers, eyes wide. "hey, rina, don’t say that," your voice comes out softer than you intended, almost pleading.

she stops mid-step, turning to face you with a mixture of frustration and uncertainty clouding her expression. "i mean it," she mutters, though her tone falters. "what are we even doing?"

your heart races as you stare at her, trying to find the right words. "we're figuring it out, okay? just... don't act like it doesn't mean anything."

she hesitates, her gaze dropping to the ground, but she doesn't respond.

you stand there for a moment, heart thudding, as her silence fills the space between you. frustration boils over, and you finally throw your hands up. "you know what, karina? if you’re gonna pretend this is nothing, then fine." your voice wavers but you hold your ground. "maybe it’s time you grow up and figure out what you actually want."

her eyes snap up to meet yours, shock flickering across her face, but you don’t wait for her to respond. without another word, you grab your bag and turn on your heel, walking away before she can say anything else to make it worse.

the next day at school, you stuck with your friends. you avoided the usual spots where you might run into her, wanting to give both of you some space. maybe that was the best way to cool things off—time apart. after all, karina wasn’t exactly easy to talk to when she was in a mood.

but avoiding her didn’t mean you weren’t on her mind.

by lunchtime, you were sitting in the courtyard with your friends, laughing over something dumb someone said. the warm sun on your skin and the easy vibe between everyone was a nice distraction. you had managed to push last night’s drama to the back of your mind—until you spotted karina.

she was walking towards you, her steps slow and hesitant, a far cry from the storm of anger she’d been last night. her face was guarded, like she was trying to figure out what to say, but there was a softness in her expression that you hadn’t seen before.

before she could reach you, you stood up, not wanting to deal with her just yet. “i’ll see you guys later,” you muttered to your friends, avoiding karina’s gaze as you walked past her without a word.

karina stopped in her tracks, her mouth opening slightly as if she was about to say something, but you didn’t give her the chance. you didn’t want another argument. not now.

your friends noticed the awkward tension hanging in the air, watching as you walked off. one of them raised an eyebrow, looking between you and karina. “what’s her deal?”

karina exhaled, crossing her arms. “we had... an argument,” she admitted quietly, eyes trailing after you. “about what happened at the party last night.”

“what, with that guy?” one of your friends asked, suddenly more interested.

karina’s frown deepened. “yeah, i saw him kiss y/n.”

your friend snorted, shaking their head. “you saw him kiss her, but you clearly missed the part where she punched him.”

karina blinked, confusion flashing across her face. “what?”

“y/n didn’t just push him away,” your friend explained, leaning back casually. “she punched him. hard enough to crack her new nails.”

the shock on karina’s face was undeniable. her jaw slackened slightly, and for a moment, she stood frozen, clearly processing the new information. “she... she punched him?” her voice was softer now, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

your friend nodded, shrugging. “yeah, and now she’s probably pissed at you for getting mad when she didn’t even do anything wrong.”

karina’s heart sank. guilt washed over her like a cold wave, the weight of her anger from last night suddenly feeling misplaced. she hadn’t waited to hear your side, hadn’t even given you a chance to explain. now, she knew she had messed up.

as the school day dragged on, karina couldn’t focus. her mind kept circling back to you, to the way you had walked away, not wanting to talk. she needed to fix this, to make things right.

so she waited.

when the final bell rang, karina stood by the school gates, her heart pounding in her chest. students streamed out, and she scanned the crowd, her eyes locking on you as you walked with your friends. your laughter echoed in the air, but she knew it wasn’t real—not after everything that had happened.

without hesitation, she stepped in front of you, blocking your path. your laughter died down as you looked up at her, clearly caught off guard. “karina, what do you want?” you asked, arms crossed defensively.

“y/n, please,” she started, her voice softer than usual. “just... hear me out, okay? i messed up.”

you glanced at your friends, who gave you space but kept watching. sighing, you shrugged. “fine, talk.”

karina stepped closer, her usual cocky demeanor replaced by something far more vulnerable. “i didn’t mean it when i said there was nothing going on between us. i was scared... of how much you mean to me. i acted like an idiot, but i don’t want to lose you.”

you frowned, still feeling the sting of her earlier words. “you said there was nothing between us, karina.”

her eyes softened as she reached out, wrapping her arms around you. you stiffened for a moment before melting into the embrace. her taller frame towered over you, and she held you tight, almost as if she was afraid you’d disappear. “i know, and i was lying. i was just... scared of messing this up.”

you felt her heartbeat against your cheek as you buried your face in her chest, her warmth calming the tension in your body. “you can’t keep running every time something goes wrong,” you mumbled into her.

“i know,” she whispered, her hand gently caressing your back. “i’m done running. i want us to be real. i want you to be my girlfriend.”

for a moment, you just let the words sink in, feeling her arms tighten around you, releasing all the stress between you both. then, you pulled back just slightly, looking up at her with a teasing smile. “i didn’t know my y/n could punch like that,” karina murmured, her voice low and playful.

you rolled your eyes, but a smirk tugged at your lips. “yeah, well, witnessing all your daily fights at school taught me a thing or two.”

karina chuckled, pressing her forehead against yours, the playful banter breaking the last of the tension. “i guess i have a lot to learn from you too, then.”

you smiled up at her, finally feeling the weight between you both lift. “so... we’re doing this? we’re real now?”

karina nodded, her eyes sparkling with something softer, more genuine. “yeah, we’re real.”

after a moment, she gave you one last squeeze before stepping back, her hand slipping into yours. “come on,” she said, her voice light. “let’s get out of here.”

you followed her to her jeep, the tension between you both fully melted into something easier, lighter. as you climbed into the passenger seat, you glanced at her and teased, “all this fighting—you’re gonna be the worst girlfriend ever, you know that?”

karina shot you a playful grin as she started the engine. “don’t worry, i’ll be the best at making it up to you.”

[luveline]

hello lovely angel!! humbly requesting zombie!steve au, perhaps more of jealous steve? i love their dynamic so much💗 maybe someone is flirting with reader, and enter protective steve:)

thanks for requesting! fem, 2k

You tend to think of it in two weird halves. You love Steve, and you never would’ve known that without the end of the world, so things are okay. Sometimes you wonder if he ever could’ve loved you if he hadn’t been so close to you for so long, but he loves you in this insane capacity of softness that says otherwise. Like, soulmate style. 

It didn’t begin that way. Steve your reluctant guide, and you his unlikely saviour. You’d stopped him from dying at the very start of it all and he couldn’t leave you behind. And Steve, he’d been mean to you. He didn’t want to take care of you initially, but you’d grown to get along. You’d argue black and blue and he’d still rub your back at night. 

There are so many moments you’ve shared that make what you have all the more special. A hundred different memories from before you’d ever kissed. You think about it now, watching him across the firepit as he shows a young girl, Cassandra, how to braid her hair. 

The one that’s sticking today is when Steve got really bad food poisoning for the first time. When you’d known you were in love with him for a while, and when he’d stopped pretending he didn’t know. He’d been sick everywhere, on both your shoes, and you’d rubbed his back through everything.  

It was nice to take care of him. Nicer that night when you’d shared a bed and he’d hugged you half to death. 

He has no idea how much he means to you, or how much those moments with him kept you going when you were all alone. You’re lucky now to have found community, but those stolen hours in bed with him hugging him and getting to be his support, you wouldn’t have made it here without them. 

“Hey.” 

You look up as a man sits down. A boy, a man —what do you call twenty somethings? You don’t feel like a woman most of the time, but you are. 

“Hi,” you say. 

“I’m Jamison.” 

“You’re Eddie’s friend, right?” 

“Who, Munson?” Jamison makes a kidding face, a disgusted scrunch of his eyebrows that falls away to more friendly fondness. “Yeah, we go back. You’re Eddie’s friend too, right? I saw you guys taking out some laundry a few days ago.” 

Jamison is handsome. He has tan skin, short hair, and a crooked nose. His smile is disarming. If you hadn’t fallen in love with the handsomest guy around, you might feel nervous under his gaze. 

Time spent ugly under Steve’s reverent handling makes you confident. You genuinely feel prettier knowing Steve loves you, and it makes it easier to be yourself with strangers. 

“Eddie’s awesome,” you say easily. “I thought he was gonna kill me when we first met, but he’s too nice.” 

“Nice, really?” 

Jamison is casual, as people go. You wonder what his motivations are for talking to you at first, but as conversation stretches, littered with the cracking pops of the fireplace and brief pauses of surprisingly comfortable silence, you realise he’s just talking. Maybe he’s lonely. You know how that feels. 

He tells you that he and Eddie had been in a rock band together before the apocalypse. You’d known to some extent that Eddie was in a band, but Jamison tells you all the details you’d been missing. They were called Corroded Coffin, four members, Eddie played guitar and Jamison thought he was pretty fucking good at it, actually. 

“I don’t think we would’ve been, like, Metallica. But we could’ve been good. We were gonna make a record.” 

You smoke sympathetically. “I bet you could’ve been.” 

“What were you doing? Before all this?” 

“I honestly barely remember,” you say quietly. Your life before Steve is a blur, and it’s painful, too. “Things are harder now, I know that. I wish every day that we could go back to how things were, you know, I miss TV and grocery stores and my family.” You lick your lips. “I wish things were different, but somehow, I think I like my life now. I have stuff to do. Is that crazy?” 

“It’s not crazy. Everything fucking sucks,” —you both laugh— “but that’s not crazy. I’m lucky, I still have my dad, and my friends. There’s purpose in being here.” 

You nod emphatically, just once. “Exactly.” 

You have purpose, now. You get to be a friend, a girlfriend, a confidente. You take care of people. 

It all comes back to Steve, at the end of the day. Would you change the world if it meant never having met him? 

Nope. 

You glance across the fire for him, but he’s not there. 

You put your arm behind your back and bend, looking for him. 

“Looking for someone?” Jamison asks. 

You deflate with relief when you spot him standing near the gaggle of tents about fifty feet away. He’s looking at you from over Robin’s shoulder. You wave, and he waves back with a big smile. 

Something seems a little wrong. 

“Steve,” you explain. 

“He’s your boyfriend, yeah? Eddie told me you’ve been together since the start.” 

You don’t bother correcting him. He might not mean together as how you’re thinking it. “Yeah, that’s him. Have you met him?” 

“Kind of. We all thought he was a huge dick, back then.” 

“He sort of was,” you say. “I mean, we all had our own stuff going on. I get that I’m biased, but he’s my favourite person I’ve ever met. He’s so kind, I don’t think I could describe it to you or anyone just how much he cares about people. I wouldn’t be here without him, and… I don’t know, I’m not saying you’re wrong, but if you ever wanted to meet him again, he’s amazing. He’s a great friend. He’s so fucking funny, he makes me laugh every day.” 

“He’s sort of giving me the stink eye,” Jamison says. 

You wave your hand weakly. “He has raging jealousy issues.” 

“Shit, am I getting you in trouble?” 

“No, never!” you say, tempted to laugh. “He doesn’t get mad at me for stuff like that. He’s normal, I promise. Just sensitive.”

You tell Jamison that it was nice talking to him because it really was, but you’ve been missing Steve for hours already and you need to get back to him before you go totally bonkers. 

He’s sitting on the floor in the tent. The weather has been beautiful lately, you could sleep under the stars if you weren’t scared of being zombie charcuterie. Steve has stripped down to just his jeans and socks, no t-shirt or shoes to be seen. He has his sketchbook splayed open on his thigh, but he abandons it the moment you kneel down. 

“Hey,” you say. 

Steve folds his book closed, pencil between its pages. “Hi. Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?” 

You shuffle in to take his hand. Clumsy touches, his fingers warm and a tad clammy between yours. “You told me yesterday that I have a smile like an angel. I know you were kidding, but I still felt it.” 

“I wasn’t kidding,” he says, wrinkling his nose with a smile. “You think every compliment is a joke.” 

“Don’t make me laugh so much, then.” 

He squeezes your fingers gently. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself to Jamison. Just, I knew him already from school. And he did not like me.” 

“That’s okay. He seemed nice, I think you’d get along if you met now.” You kick your shoes off and crawl as close to him as you can get. He looks up at you, but you look down at his lap. “What are you drawing?” 

“I was just trying to touch up that landscape I did of the river,” he says, a sheepishness to him as he opens his sketchbook. 

You read it with affection, trace lines and hatchings in awe. “Steve, I really wish you had time and space to do this stuff properly. Not that you aren’t doing it properly, just, I know you could make something just as beautiful as this with paint.” You slide to be sitting properly, putting you both at the same height, so you can meet his eyes as you continue. “Did you know what you wanted to do, when you were finishing school? Did you ever think about art?” 

“I thought about it.” His lips quirk. “Mostly about how my dad would’ve kicked me out if I said something that stupid.” 

“It’s not stupid.” 

“I know.” 

That would’ve been a nice life. You and Steve living together, with a basement for his paintings, or a garage turned studio. You’d read books together every night like you do now, and you’d scrub paint smudges off of his cheek. 

You love him so much it must give you an aura. 

“I’ve got nothing to worry about, huh?” he asks softly. 

You drift in, tipping your head back for a kiss you don’t take. “I don’t know, Steve, Jamison used to be in a rock band.” 

He scoffs in disgust. You think it might be a mixture of anger at Jamison and himself. “Who wants to date a rockstar?” 

“I might’ve.” 

You’re teasing, of course, smiling as your kiss draws nearer, and nearer. 

“Well, I can be a rockstar,” he says quietly, warmth of his breath on your lips. “Just give me a chance to get there.” 

You brush the tip of your nose against his and hold your breath. “That’s okay,” you say, letting it rush out of you in a huff, your excitement to be kissed too much to bear, “I like my guys all mixed up. Preferably good at track, and swimming, but with a soft side. Kind of guy who fills a sketchbook up with my face.” 

Steve lists to the side. Your lips are so close, you can feel the phantom of them against yours as he moves in. “It’s not just your face… it’s your hands, your arms… your everything–”

He cuts his own explanation off with a soft kiss. That softness swiftly hardens, turns rough, ten long seconds of sweetness before his hands coming up behind your head and he’s pressing inward, deepening the kiss, and giving you little room to breathe. 

You have no intention of dating any rockstars, but his jealous streak has nothing but upsides for you. Steve knows that his jealousy over the innocuous is his own problem, his own insecurity that he’s working on, and while you sympathise with him (after all, haven’t you yourself worried he’d find someone else he liked more?), you have to confess to enjoying the edge to his kissing. 

You make a pleased, humoured sound as he breathes you in like you’re a drug he’s been waiting for. He gets sloppier, and you can’t help pulling away to laugh. 

“What?” he asks, thumbing at your cheek in a soft juxtaposition. “Sorry, am I being a dick?” 

“No, it’s fine. Kiss me how you want to.” 

Steve kisses your cheek softly. “He knows you have a boyfriend, right?” 

“He knows.” 

Steve hums like he’s smiling and nudges your nose with his, until you part your lips, and he wades in for another dose. 

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

we've met our super heroes, but what about our super villains? time to meet two leaders from the evil syndicate, our heroes' greatest foe...

adélie valois, current heiress to the multimillion dollar tech and research corporation firehawk industries, appears in the public eye quite often. she's got big shoes to fill for a company so renowned...but she really doesn't seem fazed by it. either that, or she doesn't care. but what most don't know is that she's also got big shoes to fill as a supervillain. adélie is a sixth-generation psychic of a long line of supervillains, as well as the fifth to hold the family villain mantle, espritvoyant. it's...pretty clear she's only got a leadership position on the syndicate due to nepotism, given her rather nonexistent work ethic, but her powers are still a huge asset on stealth missions. although she usually just uses them to terrorize the heroes for the most part. her inherited powers have also just left her kind of numb to the thoughts and feelings of others. she readily expects how most people think and how they're going to act and gets bored easily because of it. her coworkers get pretty frustrated with her attitude, but it's not like it's her fault she's surrounded by such predictable individuals. revenge this, injustice that. she swears she's had her family motto engraved in the back of her eyelids at this point. (deep down, though, she resents her powers. she wishes for a little spontaneity in her life. she wishes she could get excited over stuff the way other people can. she wishes she wasn't like this). however, the sudden appearance of solarflare and kuiper have caught her eye as of late...especially the latter, who's surprisingly immune to her mind reading. maybe something worthwhile can come out of all of this...

and whenever she isn't just going at it solo, her partner is usually fellow syndicate leader blindside. he's often teamed with her on missions involving stealth, given his power of invisibility as well as his martial arts prowess provide the perfect balance of defense and offense. while esprit's purpose (or apathy) mostly revolves around just following her family's footsteps, blindside's motives are...a bit more murky. both the heroes and the syndicate are a bit confused about it. how did someone with such an otherwise gentle demeanor end up turning to evil? despite appearances, he doesn't seem to pull punches when it comes to heroes. why does he hate them so much? no one can seem to figure it out, given he just...doesn't talk. and while esprit is the only one he ever seems to hold conversation with given the inevitable nature of her mind reading, she hasn't pushed him on it (for which he is grateful). in the public eye, he goes by ichigo kato, an unassuming librarian with a pretty uneventful day job. well, except for that one nosy journalist who keeps coming in and giving him a near heart attack each time with the titles she keeps checking out...oh, and the fact that that one new hero, solarflare, kind of sort of knows his civilian identity now. there's that, too. he's not sure why she hasn't exposed him yet...but not like he's gonna say anything about it.

up next...we're not done with the syndicate just yet! what else does this organization have in store for our heroes...? stay tuned!

(need more context for this au? check out the other character sheets!

joy, sadness & anxiety // disgust & fear )

[punpunsonny]

WARM

Tw: icky behavior(pushy yandere), yandere stuff

Empty.

Empty is all he could describe of what he felt, sans of everything, sans of feeling, of emotions, why did he feel this way?

Born in a loving family, gifted with the face of an angel, his life was always easy, always carefree, nothing to worry about, everyone singing and chirping praises to him, worshiping him.

He has gotten used to this easy lifestyle, to the point he felt numb to everything, shouldn't something when his mother hugs him? Shouldn't feel something when his father expresses his pride for him?

Should he not feel anything when a girl cries her heart out to him, leaving him a hand written note. Shouldn't he feel something? Anything?

He hated himself, he couldn't bring himself to just.. feel something, anything: hatred, anger, disgust it all felt like a dream, a goal to reach the moon, something so easy to think about but hard to do.

He constantly laid awake at night, how would it feel to feel something right now? To experience happiness, to experience sadness. To cry your eyes out after a break up.

He had tried everything, getting in and out of relationships, people leaving one by one. Why were they crying when he wasn't? He itched to feel something, to fill the gaping hole in chest…

So, he took a job for modeling, maybe the constant praise of how good he did, how good he looked would invoke a feeling, anything. Anything he'd take, just to feel something.

It took a few months for his career to take off, after that he was widely sought out for, he had blown up due to his face, how he carried himself, how he walked down the runway, how he talked. He was beloved, loved in places he never even imagined going. Yet, that darkness looms still in his chest.

And there you came, like a answer to his cries, a solution to his woes, solving his empty life, filling the endless void with your presence, if he was to describe how he felt seeing you frantically run around, being the assistant of the photographer who booked him, scoring a spot to his hectic schedule. He felt like the sun itself crashed down on earth, forming you.

A little sunshine in his dark life, he felt something, his heart beated, fast. He was confused, why did he feel this way? Why was his face warming up? It was cold, too cold in the studio you two reside in to feel warm, to feel awkward posing there as you watched him, a smile on your face.

He gulped, as he watched you. By God's he felt like he saw an angel, he was always told he had a face of one, now he thinks they were lying, because now. He saw what an angelic face looked like.

It was you, you who made this stone of a man feel something. He desperately tried to become friends with you, calling the photographer who was your employer for more shoots who the man happily accepted even if the pay wasn't that good compared to the brands who blew up his phone for a photoshoot.

Soon, due to his persistent behavior, you two became friends, it was awkward going on cafe hangouts with a celebrity of a man, he would just smile, and tell you “it's fine.. my treat.” He always says,

He would only stare at you during these times, he would always say he wasn't hungry when you helped yourself to his food he pushed your way, he enjoyed that smile on your face. He liked feeling this way, liked the swelling warm feeling engulfing him whenever he saw you. He liked this.

“I love you, y/n.” He whispered through the phone in a random midnight, by this point it has been a year of you two being friends, he constantly texted you, asking for your advice of what he should wear, he could ask his professional stylist but no, he always texts you of his outfit. He liked seeing what you preferred, that way he's learning more about you.

“I really love you.” You could hear him shuffle around, soft rustling from his clothes.

“Derin- I.. I don't know.” You said, hesitantly. How did this man like you? You weren't anything special in your eyes..

“Please.. please, y/n, I don't think-” he sighed “I don't think I can handle this..” he said.

“I love you, please.” He said, he wants you. He wants to feel warm, to feel something. He loved you, he really does..

“Derin- let's.. talk about this tomorrow.” You said.

“No, let's talk about this now. Y/n you made me feel things I didn't know I could feel. Please?” He said he really was pushy. Being used to getting what he wanted.

“Agh..” you sighed, was this worth it?

“Okay.” You said, you know you'd come to regret this, but, don't celebrities get bored in their relationships a week in? You trusted that Derin would get bored and possibly cheat on you or dump you. You'd let him have his fun for now to get out of this situation you no longer want to be in, shaking the thought of you being too easy to get away.

“Thank you- I love you.. so much.” you could hear him smile through the phone.

“Mhm..” you said.

“Night night, sunshine.” He said, his soft voice coming out of the speaker of your phone.

“Night.” You said, groaning as you ended the call. What the hell just happened?

He smiled to himself, kicking his legs around as he raced to his Instagram, putting “taken :33 by @your_name” he giggled, he always wanted to do this ever since.. he knew his manager would be calling him by the morning, yelling for him to take it down, he never will.

Oh, the grave mistake you made. If you knew now how he truly was, you would had never said anything and had blocked him right there and there.

[darklinaforever]

First picture :

Second picture :

The first person is aware that Lydia could remove the files from her mouth at any time? Literally, she takes them off on her own to talk when she gets tired of them! Beetlejuice is a very powerful fucking demon, if he wanted to completely silence Lydia he could and would have done so. However, he didn't do it. I'm tired of seeing people make this situation worse when in reality it's not as restrictive as it seems.

Same with the baby's delusion, which yes, is admittedly very disturbing at first and the only real reprehensible thing that Beetlejuice does to Lydia in this film in my opinion (because with the song that is played at their wedding ceremony and the how easily he lets Lydia send him away (I'm sure he wasn't really planning on marrying her this time). But then again, he didn't actually get Lydia pregnant ! And she didn't really give birth to his demonic child either ! And she seems to get over that weird, disgusting prank made by Beetlejuice pretty quickly.

Also, I don't know why but I never had the impression that Beetlejuice had traumatized Lydia in the first film as an attempt to affirm these people, particularly the second.

Literally, she doesn't seem to have any after-effects in the first film, and the sequel proves it even more. At what point in her scenes with Beetlejuice himself does Lydia seem to be truly afraid of him or particularly traumatized by him ? And I'm talking about the scenes where she is with him in the flesh. Because the moments when she thinks she's hallucinating his presence, it's logical that she panics. But no, she never seems terrified of Beetlejuice himself.

Not even at the famous wedding, contrary to what the second person says. This is bullshit.

The scenes where Beetlejuice makes declarations to Lydia like the serenade or the marriage, she doesn't seem disgusted (except when he throws his heart in her hands and that's somewhat normal) or terrified, or both.

She just has a face that generally says : Wtf ? Because the situation is WTF ! This wedding scene is not at all portrayed as creepy in the first place !

Frankly, it's bad form to say the opposite for me ! It’s deliberately turning a blind eye. Beetlejuice is a horror comedy, these scenes are above all funny with touches of bizarre and gothic !

The actors love their characters together, including Winona who totally ships them. To say that she played her character as being terrified of Beetlejuice is bullshit.

And even if his acting was out of step with the script, that's not the case. Because once again, Lydia is not traumatized by Beetlejuice even through writing.

Aside from the fact that Lydia doesn't want to say Beetlejuice's name to avoid screwing up her life again (and we understand), there is nothing that indicates a real fear of Beetlejuice, the individual, in her !

And no, Lydia does not have any trauma that caused her to hallucinate the Beetlejuice presence. We know it, we see it, Beetlejuice does this on his own, so when Lydia sees him it's real. These are not hallucinations resulting from trauma at all !

Yes, Beetlejuice is problematic, obviously he's a demon ! Yes, Beetlebabes also has problematic aspects, obviously since once again Beetlejuice is a demon !

(That's literally the whole appeal of this ship between these two... Nobody likes Beetlebabes because it's a healthy relationship !)

But I'm tired of people trying to make it worse than it is.

In this sequel, Beetlejuice literally saved Astrid, Lydia's daughter, and he also saved her from marrying a complete asshole !

Not only that, but the way he pursues Lydia, or courts her if you prefer, isn't really cringeworthy.

He helps her save her daughter. Saves her from a bad marriage. He plays the serenade. Gives her a hand kiss. Is ready to accept Astrid as his child. Offers her his beating heart (yuck), etc. Frankly, it's a good overall approach for me !

And even if it's frankly not cool to haunt her in recent years, the film suggests to us that it's really due to a connection between the two characters. So that balances it out a bit.

Frankly, the antis greatly exaggerate the issues of ship Beetlebabes and the character of Beetlejuice.

It's like those who say he's a pedophile, when he only seeks to marry Lydia for convenience in the first film, not because he has feelings for her. Plus people seem to forget that Beetlejuice comes from an era where girls generally married at the age Lydia was in the first film...

But hey. Really thinking about these is a bit hard obviously for the antis.

And I'm not even going to bother talking about those (like this second person) who think Beetlejuice having a picture of Lydia from the first movie on his desk is creepy...

[rubus-yunnion]

Anything for our resident Irish man? You know who I mean

Hello! So sorry for answering your question so late, life has been busy for me. I'm assuming your talking about O'Connor, and I've finally found the time to write down some hcs, enjoy!

° Knows every single pick up line, he knows his way around woman.

° Gets along really well with both Gibbo and Trots, he agrees with Trots most of the time but there are others where he seems to be agreeing with Gibbo.

° Sometimes writes love letters to himself about Mary, always keeps it hidden. Caz did find one of them and started to read it out loud in the canteen, O’Connor refused to talk to anyone that whole week.

° O’Connor is roughly around 5’11, tallest crew member being Raffs (6’3)

° Always hated skating, but the thing he hates even more is ice skating, he could never control his balance, even when holding onto the railings and whatnot. But, he’ll always join his Mary as she loves it more then he does.

° VERY GOOD at pool, if he and Rennick were to compete against each other then there would be war in the crew lounge. And also a free job for scouting the pontoons.

° Speaking of Rennick, he doesn’t actually have an opinion on him, at least not too many bad opinions. Though he isn’t very supportive of how Rennick treats the rig, especially when it comes to the pontoon operations.

° Not the best at singing or playing any other instrument, but he is very fluent in playing the piano.

° Has way too many health issues, it’s surprising how long he’s lived for with all these problems, did in fact pee himself one time, Gibbo was the first to acknowledge and Trots unfortunately had to clean it up for him. Poor Trots.

° Has broken way too many bones in his life, specifically his left arm. Nobody knows why it’s always the left arm that gets broken.

° Although he has broken many of bones, he sometimes pretends that he twisted his feet all the time. Though Brodie wasn’t aware of this the first time and immediately tried to convince Rennick to call a hospital chopper.

° Loves pottery, he’s used to his hands being quite dirty so this never really bothered him too much. One time he tried to make a swan for Mary’s birthday, but it ended up looking like a cat that got ran over 3 times. She didn’t mind it though, actually she thought it was quite charming.

° Pretty decent at darts, though not as good as Finlay or Brodie. Speaking of Finlay, he gets along with her well, though still quite scared of her just like the rest of the crew members.

° Addair disgusts him, his views on the world is something he wished Addair kept to himself. Whenever he gets the chance, he’ll rip immigrant posters down from his walls and throw them in the bin.

° Has a bad habit of whistling all the time, many people told him to shut up because of it.

° Talk ill of Mary and you’ll start wishing Rennick called a hospital chopper for you.

[lavenderfieldsforvr]

feeling the urge to go on a whole ass whoopification speedrun with beetlejuice rn and talk about how he's not as bad of a person as most people seem to think he is. beware of spoilers cuz I will mention the sequel!!!!!!

he's a selfish, disgusting, low life creep, but he's not the murderous monster people assume he is. y'all are gonna have to hear me out on this one and that's okay, I've loved this character since I was a child, grew up with the first movie and the cartoon. you can call me biased because yeah I probably am. but I also love fucked up irredeemable characters.

he's not irredeemable tho. nor do I think it really matters if he is, the whole point of his character is that he sucks. but he sucks in a silly stupid way, a way that makes us love him.

people love to characterize beetlejuice as this horrific vengeful demon, and forget how inherently silly and wacky he is. in the first movie he doesn't even actually kill anyone (tho he comes close), and although we see him get angry with the maitlands he doesn't go on a terrifying torture spree or anything when he's out. his biggest crime is just being a selfish prick. (and being a horny bastard.)

I believe this even more so with the second movie, where he does almost nothing but be useful the entire time (and not even for his own gain, the idiot is just hopelessly in love), and the only bad thing he does is try to make lydia marry him again (to be fair yes she is the one who suggested it, it's just scummy cuz she was in need.) and even then he helps her despite the fact she never keeps her end.

he even helps delia when she asks. and you can chock this all up to he's in love with lydia and would do anything for her, to which I agree, but he's still done more good/helpful things in the span of both movies than he has bad. he's not a good person, his sense of morals are skewed at best nonexistent at worst, but is he a raging murderous monster who would eat the souls of two hundred children if given the chance? no I don't believe so. he just wants to give some people nightmares for a week then go have a nice fuck on a tropical island.

overall he seems way more interested in pulling wacky shenanigans than actually hurting anyone (most especially lydia), and that's something important to me personally.

[intothedysphoria]

When they were in drag, Billy went by Holly.

Apparently it was a reference according to Eddie Munson. A queer icon from the 80s. Steve looked Holly Johnson up one night and admitted he could see why Billy would be drawn to him.

They didn’t really care about gender. Most times Steve saw Billy, they were blending masculine and feminine clothing together seamlessly, not caring about the abuse people hurled at them on the street.

Steve wished he cared that little about how he was perceived.

It might have been two solid years of watching Kalvin Garrah before realising how disgusting those ideas were but Steve still paused at even wearing the colour pink, worried it would somehow negate his transness. All ideas of Steve’s masculinity dependent on a fucking colour.

The very definition of toxic masculinity.

Billy could probably see how insecure Steve was in his identity and that was the reason they never even glanced his way. They spent most of their time at death metal concerts or drag shows, talking to interesting people.

Steve was probably the least interesting man alive.

And of course he was hopelessly in love with Billy.

Well, maybe infatuated was a better term for it but the general gist was there.

So he hung around places that were noisy and crowded and everything Steve hated just to get a look at them. They were absolutely spectacular every time. It almost made all the stress worth it.

Robin asked him why he didn’t just talk to them. Steve responded that he’d talk to Billy when she talked to Heather.

Both of them took a moment to think about how disasterously single they were that night.

Eddie’s birthday took them to a punk bar. Steve wasn’t quite sure how he’d been invited but apparently him and Eddie actually were friends. It was nice, actually being someone’s friend, not just being in a clique.

What Eddie hadn’t mentioned was how loud it would be.

Steve made it through about three songs before he broke. It was clearly a very friendly environment but he just couldn’t cope. Instead he sat on the sidewalk outside, hands shaking slightly as he tried to calm his breathing.

The sensory overload bordering on panic attack was interrupted by the most beautiful voice Steve had ever heard.

“Hey man, you ok?”

Standing above him was Billy Hargrove, dressed in denim head to toe, small bits of glitter adorning their moustache.

Steve could feel his brain leaking out of his ears as he nodded, not sure what to say.

Most people would have walked off after that.

Billy stayed with him the entire night.

They talked to him about their cat, their baby sister, their annoying boss. Steve returned some nervous responses until he gained more confidence and found that talking to Billy was shockingly easy.

It was kind of a bummer when Steve realised he’d have to make his way back to Robin to give her a ride home but she was already arm in arm with Heather, flashing him a thumbs up and waving wildly.

Out of the many things Billy was, they were also incredibly forthright.

Because they just looked Steve dead in the eyes and asked to kiss him. Steve said yes and despite the having to jump wildly because he was so much shorter, it was incredible.

The next morning Steve found himself sitting on the floor of Billy’s apartment while they did his makeup and it was the most at peace he’d felt in a long time.

[wonder-worker]

"In the early 1360s Edward III took as his mistress Alice Perrers, the daughter of a London goldsmith and widow of one of the King’s jewellers, Janyn Perrers. Alice’s opponents would later viciously exaggerate her low birth—Thomas Walsingham claimed that her father was a thatcher—so it has only been in this century that her true identity was revealed by Mark Ormrod and Laura Tompkins. Alice became one of Philippa’s demoiselles, but supplemented her income from Philippa with a role as a moneylender to merchants and gentry. During Philippa’s lifetime she began investing her wealth in property that, Tompkins has estimated, would eventually approach £2000 per annum in value—an income that exceeded that of some earls.

Alice bore the King a son, John Southeray, in about 1365 and from 1367 she received a number of royal grants. Her name is notably absent from the list of Philippa’s ladies who received bequests in the Queen’s will. Philippa died in 1369 and, unlike other widowed kings of the later Middle Ages, Edward III seems to have made no attempt to look for a replacement queen. Alice then emerged as a public figure, richly rewarded by the King, and sought out by courtiers for her influence over him. In 1373 Edward gave her a collection of the queen’s jewels and the following year the Pope himself included her among those he petitioned to influence Edward III to engineer his brother’s freedom from captivity. Alice subsequently stole the show at a royal tournament at Smithfeld when she dressed as “the Lady of the Sun.” Her choice of outft was probably a deliberate spin on Edward III’s own sunburst emblem.

Alice was indubitably a skilled businesswoman with an impressive grasp of property law, but she was also abusing her closeness to the King in order to build up her wealth. Moreover, contemporaries identifed her as the heart of a disruptive and malign court clique. Tompkins has argued that Alice’s powerful and self-serving influence over the King was perceived as “inverting queenship.” During the Good Parliament of 1376, Alice was condemned for the use of maintenance, accused of taking thousands of pounds from the Exchequer, and ordered to stay away from the court, under threat of banishment.

Thomas Walsingham reported that at this time her accomplice in seducing the King was also arrested, a Dominican friar who was an “evil magician” and had used wax effgies of the King and Alice to enable her to “get whatever she wanted from the King.” There is no corroborating evidence for this story of arrest, but the idea that low status women could only attract the admiration of kings or nobles through witchcraft was a pervasive one, especially apparent in Elizabeth Woodville’s story [...], and probably also in that of a later quasi-queen, Eleanor Cobham [...].

Just months after the Good Parliament, the King had pardoned Alice, but he died the following year. At some point in the 1370s she had taken a second husband, Sir William Windsor, who spent most of his career in Ireland. In the autumn of 1377, Alice was accused of having persuaded Edward III to countermand an order to investigate charges against Windsor the previous year and to pardon one of her business associates. Alice was sentenced to banishment and forfeiture of all goods and lands. Although this banishment was revoked in 1379, her subsequent attempts to regain her possessions were consistently frustrated. She died in the winter of 1401–1402, bequeathing her “usurped” lands to her two daughters by the King. Their son had predeceased her.

Unlike the later quasi-queens, Alice’s position came from sharing a king’s bed and was thus closer to that of an actual consort. By contrast, her low social status and ineligibility to produce an heir to the throne made her less like a queen consort than her successors. She was thus better physically positioned to exert influence but ideologically wholly separated from any authority to do so."

J.L Laynesmith and Elena Woodacre, "The Later Medieval English Consorts: Power, Infuence, Dynasty", "Later Plantagenets and Wars of the Roses Consorts"

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[volleypearlfan]

may there never be another dan schneider or brian peck or anyone like that ever again, especially working around children

[elleloquently]

may i speak

the way that people have been consistently perceiving ellie is making my eye twitch a lil like genuinely ... what?? i know she's a fictional character so like whatever but it's more so the thought process or lack thereof lately that is just.. sort of stunning me, a little bit?

people complain about male gaze ellie (rightfully so) but then turn around and sexualize her to a point that is almost damn near concerning !! thirst trapping scenes of her literally traumatized, breaking down and having panic attacks, sexualizing her appearance when she was quite literally the most unhealthy she had ever been and barely eating, barely sleeping, etc. not to mention for some reason the majority of people perceiving her as some sadistic dom with serial cheater tendencies as if she's not capable of any emotional depth.

it just makes my head spin a little and yes it's not real whatever it's just weird i guess seeing a character that i grew up with rapidly being treated like this all of a sudden, not to mention these behaviors are usually stemming from younger people as well?? it just makes me want to gatekeep her character and keep her in a bubble.. like omg girl has been through so much and is now unfortunately one of those mainstream characters that gets treated like shit by their community and the general public

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

[happyk44]

It's kinda funny because w/ my Zeus kid OC (who I've been thinking about renaming as Araceli, 'cause it means altar of the sky, apparently, which I like 'cause sky-themed-ish but also like. A little bit I wanted something that meant cloud the way Coral's name means... Coral) the implication is that she takes after her father to an almost mirroring degree because I developed her and my other PJO OCs (who also all got retconned into an OG work) at the same time I was playing around with my ideas on the Big Six, and the gist at the time was supposed to show how the Big Six could've turned out if they weren't so weird.

So the dynamics of the friendship was supposed to be very similar to the dynamics of Big Six's relationship to each other (e.g. Mary having a major crush on Hera's "representative" but also being attracted to literally every other person that walked by, Nico being the soberminded big brother figure, etc). It's also one of the reasons Mary would get angry whenever someone would compare to her dad, because similarly I think Zeus would get angry if someone compared him to his dad.

And then eventually as I got older and the daydream moved around with whatever obsession I had at the time, the characters and general storyline began to change away from that in some ways but core features sort of stayed and so I ended up with a version of Zeus that ignores his daughter's pleas for help because he loves her but her pain hurts him because he can't do anything about it and it's his fault she's suffering.

She got this intensity from him, it's ingrained into the way it's ingrained in him. But he was able to rebuild the world according to his own needs and wants and beliefs. And she can't really do that. So he doesn't have any advice he can give her when she's on her knees begging for help with all the noise and pain in her head. He doesn't know what to do! It's like he can just go and rip it out of her.

But she's suffering because she's different and she's weird and she knows it and she knows it's his fault which is why she's asking but he just doesn't know and he can't handle watching her suffering and listening to her cry when there is no helpful answer to give her because "I don't know" isn't going to fix it.

He's supposed to fix things, he's supposed to have the answers. He's king of the world, by damn! He's a problem solver. He supposed to have a solution, and a million backup solutions. But he doesn't! There's nothing he can do to make the noise stop because truth be told, the noise never really stopped for him! It just got easier and quieter. So he turns away from her because he loves her and he's failing her and he can't handle that.

But also in the same breath, I think he recognizes similar aspects of himself in Jason, who isn't even asking for help, and fucking despises him for it, lol.

✨ Girl Dad ✨