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too-damned-bright-blog · 8 years

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Writing

Giving a shot at applying to be a writer for The Academia, one of the most inspiring literary journals. Most of these works are quite old, and until I get back my phone which is unfortunately under repair, these are some pieces of work. Series #1 and #2 are reactions to (my love for) thunderstorms, written on the spot each time I get some alone time with the fickle Gods and their performance.

Series #1

Watching a freak show of lightning, where tortured screams lash out in an instant; and with each flash, the sky cracks and fades, leaving the dusty skies dark again. The audiences held their breathes, awaiting the next performance, whether it be unusually bright and intricate or a single strike that we are all too familiar with, it never fails to gain the applause of thunder.

Series #2

The show begins. Light reveals the stage, howling winds burn the curtains, there is a masked cast hidden behind tall buildings and the horizon. Suddenly I am timeless and ageless, creasing my brows but fearlessly reaching out to trace the strikes. I spot the glint of spears on the frontline! The cream walls by my peripheral vision turn to washed-out pillars of the mighty Roman Empire, the surrounding booming drawl resemble the calls for War. If I reached out my arms I felt cold, wet blood rain on me, if I drew them back I felt the warmth of lost, forgotten comrades! Solemn purple grieved the fallen as lightning fades, clouds were chariots carrying souls where they fight even in the Afterlife. In the height of battle I see, I hear, the succession of strikes connecting, akin the clash of Hannibal and Scipio! Alas, if the light of lightning were their lifespan they were but seconds of brilliance in the scale of time. Yet the resounding thunder carved themselves into the heart of common people; the resounding thunder spread their legacy. And I was the audience, certain that fear of the thunder was a reminder to never forget these legacies.

Series #3: Poetry break! The Academia might now include poetry but I think that it is on of the most brilliant, beautiful and concise way of using and delivering words. This one is written for a teacher who has now left my current school.

hear the successive waves crash as they wash away the sedimented past dutifully eroding once lively shells; perhaps display those sentiments in a bottle and store them in a gallery evoked by a scent of the beach loosen your grip on these yellowed uncountable grains they matter less once they slip between your fingers; believe that the billion frustrations, will scatter away freely in search of a place promising the hope of another day wet and clean your slippers scrub beneath your fingernails run your hair through a blast shower; for quite a while sand clings to the grooves on the sole, left unchecked could rub your skin raw one will have to cross the line where warm sand meets concrete fashioned so coarse and cold; the past is this: an asymptotic reminder discomforting to even the most seasoned feet before you have to leave toss one last glance towards a direction beyond the horizon; endings bring agony in such a monotonous way, the closing act: a swallowing sunset shall then scorch itself in your memory

Series #4: (to be added) I’m thinking of including a short story / poem here, but as I have said, they’re all stored in my phone.

Series #5: I’d like to include a review of a school play, because as I remember it, this piece was written when I was emotionally charged, and in consequence a good reflection of what my thought process is.

POOP! -by ELDDS

The themes itself, firstly about suicide, struck home. Daddy has a seemingly normal demeanor, as a working class adult, with an eager to please personality. There were hints that he was disappointed, yet and yet again, with the failure of promotion and being constantly hung up. I imagine a very stressful life, being rejected and all. Perhaps the beauty of the play was that it was never shown to us why he actually decided to commit suicide, because it definitely took immense courage to be able to actually do it. It told us clearly that everyone, anyone, is vulnerable to doing something reckless like that. Daddy's lines sometimes consists of him complaining, especially at the start, which was quite relevant; it felt as though he was still human, to a certain extent. To have him present as a "ghost" through most of the play (which I believe was just trying to voice Emily and her family's monologues) was effective, but quite confusing at times. The flow of events were a little jerky, but then again, I understand the limitations. The most confusing scene that I would point out is the part where Daddy shoots Emily. (?) I took it as Emily being in so much pain that she wanted to shoot herself. Daddy plays a crucial role in drawing out the deep emotions of Emily and her family, exposing the raw emotional pain for us viewers to feast upon.

Moving on to Mommy and Granny. With both characters as pivotal supporting characters, they did a great job in displaying conflict, an ingredient always necessary in theatre. Granny represented a perspective that almost seemed to force positivity upon Emily, and whenever she spoke, I had the urge to snarl, "typical old people." Because of her representation, she could've been super dramatic about it and gone all out. The parts where she talked about Daddy not believing in God could've been more... dramatic, you know? While Granny was all about positivity, Mommy had to deal with her own set of problems. A good representation of "normal people with normal reactions". She did a wonderful job, but I feel that she could've been more frustrated, since the amount of pressure on her that no one else could understand; having to take care of Emily and her mother-in-law was great. One scene of hers included her being in a dream-like state, dragged around by her mother-in-law and daughter in the mrt (Mass Rapid Transport), was fantastic. Amazing. I like this scene specifically, as we could see how Mommy couldn't move on, couldn't go back to the days when everything was normal. It again reminds us of the impacts of suicide. (yes, I take note that there is a lot of terrible things that happen after that selfish choice.) Otherwise, Granny and Mommy's roles could be stronger and even more emotional.

Emily. The poor little child that was caught between morbid events that she was vaguely aware of but couldn't understand, and to top it off, she got CANCER. WHAT A CRUEL SCRIPTWRITER. Regardless, she started off shakily, but steady improved her acting by leaps and bounds. I couldn't fault her for the lines she delivered; smooth, impactful, emotional. Very appropriate acting as a kid of that age. Between tantrums she threw and innocent banter with "people", we see all sides of her vulnerability and character. (Which draws emotions from the audience) What I like about Emily was how she had character and puts up an attitude well. Her voice was attractive, suitable enough to denote her character as a kid but not to the point of annoying us audience. Emily should make use of longer pauses to make the play more dramatic, since her role was of a character more young. Her emotions may have flickered a bit too quickly sometimes, like she was crying, crying, and suddenly upbeat. The interaction between her and the other members, especially Daddy, was commendable. I loved how she compares Daddy to her cancer cells, both which "doesn't leave." Sometimes, she just wants Daddy to disappear, sometimes, she needs the comfort of him. An accurate representation of kids.

Another theme brought up was of religion. The idea of heaven, hell and reincarnation. At the start of the play, Daddy's replies to Granny was literally my sentiments. If I wanted to die, I wanted to die. Not suffer my miserable ass in hell or sing songs of glory in heaven. I thought that the part could've been more impactful. Reincarnation was another idea presented, seemingly a means to pacify Emily at the start of the play. The fact that this play touches a bit on religion and the Afterlife was an interesting addition.

If I could fault this play, it would be perhaps the lack of more extreme acting. If you want to shout, make it your goal to burst our eardrums. (at appropriate times, of course) The addition of HUMOR, yes, it makes the play more relatable but at the cost of losing some of the fragile, stirring emotions. Dark humor in the play was perfectly fine though, I must add.

The last few scenes were unforgettable. Daddy asks Emily is she was happy now, and she nodded, asking the same question back at Daddy. But Daddy did not answer, and just took her away. It could be considered "the last straw" for me, and the reason, put in layman's terms, was because it was just so bloody sad. Daddy was never happy, and will never be. With that, I shall end this lengthy reflection on the play.

Have fun reading! If you’re made it so far, that is....

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