#manners

[mysharona1987]

[dailymanners]

Always make sure everyone in the group is acknowledged.

For example, say you run into some friends while you're out in public, but they have with them their roommate who you've barely met. In this case, don't just ignore the roommate in favor of only acknowledging and speaking to your friends, make sure you acknowledge and greet the roommate too, even if it's just a smile or even just a polite nod.

Humans are by our nature a communal species, and as a result tend to be pretty affected by feeling ignored or excluded. Even if you're not ignoring them on purpose, you just feel awkward acknowledging someone you barely know, try to consider how you might feel if you were totally brushed off and ignored by someone who is acknowledging everyone else but you.

Even if you personally don't think you'd personally be hurt by being brushed off by your roommates' friend, know that your feelings aren't universal and plenty of people would feel bad about feeling ignored, especially if they're someone who has a history of being excluded by their peers.

This doesn't apply to people you are trying to avoid because they make you feel uncomfortable or even unsafe, safety comes first before good manners. But if they're not someone who you think is a risk to your safety and/or someone who makes you uncomfortable, it won't hurt you to politely acknowledge them.

[pseudonymjones]

[yesterdaysprint]

Etiquette Problems in Pictures, Lillian Eichler, 1924

[victusinveritas]

The Illustrated Book of Manners: A Manual of Good Behavior and Polite Accomplishments, 1866

"If the amount of happiness, immediate or ultimate, is increased by any costume, it is right to wear it."

[foldingfittedsheets]

My mom was a huge stickler for manners, a few in particular. Most specifically that kids must always give up their chair to an elder. If it got to the point that an adult had to ask for a seat we had done fucked up. Every family gathering the kids would pop up when an adult joined the room.

This got amusing as it was an inter generational trait. Every person was subject to this conditioning. Any younger person was obligated to give up their chair to an older person. One Christmas the family was sprawled in my nana's dining room. Everyone was laughing and chatting when my great-grandma walked into the room. Every single person in the room jumped to their feet to offer her their chair in unison- except one.

My dad, engrossed in telling a story, had missed the memo. He looked up in bewilderment as the whole family stared at him in outrage that he'd stayed seated when the oldest person present had walked in.

He's never lived it down.

[fudhayl]

It is reported that Imām Mālik said to one of his companions:

Do not leave your house a lot, except for something that you must do. And do not sit in a gathering in which you do not benefit some knowledge.

-Al-Qādī ʿAyyād, Tartīb Al-Madārik 2:63

[classycookiexo]

[al-firdaus]

‎It’s such a beautiful trait of the Prophet ﷺ how he would give his undivided attention to those he would talk to. He wouldn’t just turn his face but he would turn his whole body and make everyone feel like they were his favourite. Something i think we tend to fall short in.

[fanartrandomize]

Remus art “Don’t mind my manners” inspired by ashnikko song manners

[batknot]

Internet Etiquette

Devastating! You just saw a take that you don't agree with! This is a check for reading comprehension and the practice of good faith. 

Analyze 

What emotion was this intended to inspire?

What was the goal the speaker was trying to achieve?

How could this be interpreted differently?

Is there context that would change the meaning?

Is the speaker qualified?

Reflect

What is your first reaction and why did you have that specific reaction?

Is it an issue that is harming you and/or did the group being harmed directly state that this harms them?

Do you accept the consequences that could result from interacting?

Is the speaker someone you can reason with?

What assumptions are you making about the speaker?

Speak

What is the goal of your words?

What audience are you catering towards?

Are you talking to the person with respect?

How could your words be interpreted differently?

What reaction will people have towards your words and how is it being achieved?

[dailymanners]

When boarding buses, or any sort of public transportation where you have to walk past a driver to board, always smile at and greet the driver as you're boarding.

It doesn't waste anyone's time, yours or the drivers, to smile and greet the driver, as chances are you probably have to pay or scan your pass which is going to take a second or two, about the amount of time it takes to smile and greet the driver.

When we don't look at or acknowledge the driver at all, this can make the driver feel dehumanized to not be acknowledged by other human beings all day. Being a bus driver is a difficult job, they have to do customer service AND deal with traffic all day. Bus drivers also face a lot of burn out because they are often treated poorly. The least you can do is humanize them by smiling at them and greeting them.

[yesterdaysprint]

A Manual of Etiquette with Hints on Politeness and Good Breeding, 1868

[curiositysavesthecat]

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).