#theater boy over here would commit to it. For The Scene

[marc--chilton]

with the way rsl talks about the relationship between house and wilson, and the way he's talked about hugh laurie himself, i find myself wondering what excuses he would have made up had house and wilson ever made out on screen

[tooturtly]

Just watched Nosferatu, and I’ve heard a lot of things. But oh boy did nobody warn me that it was a bad film (in my opinion)!!!!!!

Here’s me ranting bc I have so many thoughts:

1. The costumes and set, the DESIGN that went into this film were all gorgeous, but they did nothing for the story. The costumes and set did not convey the story of the characters

2. The environment also did not play a role in the story of the film despite being used visually. Why use beautiful vistas and the grandiose aspects of nature if you’re not gonna fucking use them for anything other than “here’s something nice to look at!” (Especially when you’re set in the FUCKING ROMANTIC ERA!! Come on!)

3. The plot (oh boy the fucking plot), of which there were three? There were too many plots. This film did not know what it’s point was.

Was it about forbidden desire? (I don’t think so) if it was it didn’t say anything with it. What was the point? What was the message? That forbidden desire is something you must sacrifice for?

This film wanted to be about desire and then someone (the director?) made the choice to make vampires unsexy??? For a film where one of the plots was about sex and desire, it was shockingly uninterested in sex and desire??? It was so committed to being unsexy? Where the vampire is literally called by her desire to exist and yet, there’s nothing? What is happening!

4. Sexism. I thought, considering the setting and the new focus on the woman (idk her name, idk anybody’s names, the Mina Harker stand in), they would address the sexism of the period??? But no! They even discuss hysteria!! Melancholy! They tie her to the ficking bed and it GOES NOWHERE!!!

5. The dialogue. This film is so over exaggerated, it could be so stylistic, the dialogue certainly is. and yet it plays itself so serious, so straight. How can anybody say “I’ve seen things that would make Isaac Newton crawl back into his mothers womb” and not even a little bit acknowledge that it’s a crazy thing to say??? If you acknowledged that this man was a little off his rocker it could work! But no! The audience in the theater laughed!! Multiple times when the tone of the film was very clearly supposed to be serious! But it was funny!!

5a. See Thomas laying flat on his face after his first night in the castle (laughter). Or like, plenty of the buckwild lines. I’m gonna have to go to Reddit to find a proper list some day bc there’s some real gems.

6. Lily Rose Depps performance. It’s so intense. She’s going at a ten when everyone else is acting very subtly, with really great subtle expressions that convey what they’re feeling. And then she’s shouting half her dialogue, with very little build in intensity or time to build up. It made it hard to tell how I was supposed to interpret what she was feeling. Did she really love Thomas? Was she truly afraid of Orlock? What was happening?

7. Pacing. There’d be one incredibly intense, chaotic, horrifying and emotional scene, and then it would cut to Frederick and the two doctors just standing around talking!!! Where does your carefully built tension and suspense go!!!!! For a film highlighting the experiences of a woman, it sure doesn’t spend a lot of time showing us what she’s thinking!!! Or doing! Or feeling!!!

This film dragged. The first half was too long, the second half was unfocused. I could go into the cutting room with this film and take half an hour out and I guarantee you wouldn’t notice. Defoe’s character could be folded into the other doctor and no changes would be necessary. Why is Knock in the later half? What does he add to the story to begin with? (Nothing)

Especially when you consider that it’s totally normal to assume everyone is somewhat familiar with the story of Dracula. You do not have to reinvent the wheel!! You can cut stuff! We do not need Thomas spending so much time in the Castle! Or with the nuns! Or Frederick! (Speaking of, what happened to the money and debt subplot?) we don’t need them. Give me more of what’s her faces story! (Is it Tulla? Helen? Something with an L?)

8. Dracula’s castle: as a modern audience, we know Dracula is evil. Thomas does not need an extended scene of being told Dracula is evil. We do not need him in this house of horrors. It might actually be MORE horrifying if we don’t see it, if we guess! He doesn’t know what’s happening, he’s being violated! And we don’t know either! Just cut it bc it does nothing to the plot after the contract is signed. If you need a reason somebody in this story can kill a vampire, give it to Defoes character.

9. I have seen other films do these same themes and ideas, this exact story even, and I have seen it done better. Hell, I’m a massive fan of Bram Stoker’s Dracula from 1996 with Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves. It does the same story in a very campy, silly, seductive manner. But because it knows what it is, because it knows what tone and story it’s going for, because it does not take itself too seriously, I can actually get into it! I can vibe! I can have fun! I can see what it’s going for and appreciate it!!! But no! Count Orlock’s stuttering drawl has no place in this film! It does not fit stylistically! The “sexy” scenes, the need for Mina to sacrifice herself in a way, it doesn’t work the same!

I think this is what makes me so mad!!!!!!!! It’s similar to how I felt after watching Bullet Train. A well done, we’ll executed movie which very clearly had talented artistic people working on it, but without a soul. A film that has taken better movies and ground them up into a paste to spit back out at me. A film without anything to say. A hollow shell of shots and cuts and dialogue that doesn’t actually add up to a story.

[xandermatthews2290]

My rankings on how likely I think all 13 remaining students killed Arei

I’m sure this will age perfectly fine, and I’m not about to be shut down when the series comes back

*Added some photos to make it more visually appealing, searched them up in my gallery and chose the first for all of them

13. Teruko, I don’t buy that the protagonist is gonna die this time and it’s fairly clear her character is gonna be here until the end

12. Rose, a lot of this murder seems to have been handled rather sloppily, the rope being under the spinny thingy, the note being in the trash and not flushed down a toilet or burned, while Rose has demonstrated a lot of awareness of minute details like how old painted walls are

11. Nico, their attempted murder of Ace was pretty poorly planned and I doubt they would have had the time to plan out Arei’s killing specifically, I also doubt their ability to beat Arei in a fight/knock her out, to snap her neck

10. David, oddly enough I don’t think breakdown boy is our killer, he seems to have no idea how the murder was committed and it doesn’t feel like he’s being setup to die until at least chapter 3, admitting to it at all is bizarre and there’s also his bonus scene of stopping MonoTV from releasing the murder motive, if he’s the killer then these are massive mistakes that he shouldn’t be making

9. Ace, him getting attacked by Nico is a pretty big reason I’m ruling him out early, I don’t believe he’d have been in the condition to kill Arei, hang her up on the swing set, all with a freshly sliced open throat wound , him withholding information is bad but it honestly feels in character for him

8. Arturo, admittedly the one I’m the least sure about, most of his scenes this chapter are him obsessing over Mariabella Rosales’ daughter, however his secret was one of the most in danger of being revealed, Eden being alive is the biggest argument against him since his secret got out regardless. Similar to Rose in the way that someone who’s smart enough to be a plastic surgeon should be better at disposing of evidence and not revealing his near murder of Eden

7. Charles, the dark horse for this case from my viewpoint, he had an incredibly negative reaction to his secret being revealed by J, and this murder involved 0 blood which only he would have a reason to insure that there wouldn’t be. Breaking her neck is an odd choice when blunt force and stabbing would be more accessible, stabbing in particular if Veronika’s priming claims from the first trial come back up. He seems to have taken over the traditional sidekick role for Teruko which is concerning considering both him and Eden seem to be struggling for that spot.

6. Eden, certainly one of the more popular culprits, but I have pretty different reasons personally, the biggest knocks against her surviving for me is that there are some things she’s been involved in that haven’t been explained, her fear that someone’s been following her when she meets up Teruko in the dressing room only for items in that room to become relevant in the form of the starchy hall of clothes. She also has the biggest spike in screentime this chapter with her getting the opening scene. However she is on the small side, and I question if she’d be able to commit a murder, much less for a secret she didn’t really care about.

5. Veronika, surprisingly both higher and lower on this list before, her secret hasn’t been revealed which is a decent knock against her, however her fear of boredom seems like it’s setup for later. Then there’s the issue of her being the main user of the theater room which lies directly adjacent to the playground with MonoTV calling out how you’d basically just need to break through the wall, Ace & Arturo avoid it since Ace gets easily scared and Arturo would be dealing with Eden and his secret so she would have the opportunity. She was also one of the most affected by Min’s execution which makes you wonder if she’d really risk her life the same way.

4. Whit, the darker horse for killer choices, his secret hasn’t been revealed and he’s taken credit for one that Rose threw away, it’s fully possible he’s telling the truth just really questionable to wait until it cycles back to you. He spends a lot of time around Charles and has an alibi which for me is a worse sign, if we’re going for a sad execution then Whit would probably be the saddest for Charles who could break away from him and become closer to Teruko for story purposes.

3. J/Julia Rosales/Moreno, I’m worried for her mainly because I feel like she hasn’t done much yet, she’s in the opening description for the chapter, has questionably similar proportions to Arei, and most notably the whole “not all that glitters is good” hasn’t come into play yet. Her only big scene is Arturo revealing her secret. She’s definitely a wild card and a lot of the crime scene involving ropes, gripping tape, flooding the room feel like they’d be easier for an effects artist. She’s also more likely than most to be near Arei prior to her storming into Arturo & Eden’s conflict.

2. Hu, I’m not super concerned for her being the one that killed Arei, however that isn’t exactly the merit for how the killer is determined, it’s whoever is the “most mastermindy”. She’s scarily close to David and her blowup about “giving her heart to him” feels like a very out of place scene unless there’s more we don’t know about. With about half the remaining secrets involving self harm/suicide, it isn’t out of the question for me to see her helping David kill someone for the greater good, admittedly it’s harsh but she’s also seen Xander, Nico, and Min all engage in their own murder attempts, wouldn’t it be better to get ahead and not risk Eden ripping Whit’s heart out of his chest in the meantime, and just help David the “inspirational speaker” back into the world to help more people. I do doubt her for a few logistic reasons like the fish and potentially flooded room, but if she just came up with the plan she would be the blackened according to MonoTV

1.Levi, and my official killer pick, it’s obviously not my favorite choice but he’s had a large presence in this chapter, and has been involved in several scenes with Arei. Him having her secret is suspicious to me, Levi has shown an ability to mask his frustrations before suddenly snapping, as seen during the first trial against Ace. He’s definitely strong enough to have killed Arei with the method Arturo claims to have been used, the setup could be entirely designed to make it look like it doesn’t need to be someone physically strong. I also question if he’d be the kind of person that would believe Arei’s suddenly face turn into being a nice person. His increased presence in chapter 2, connection with Eden and Arei, unrevealed secret, and overall limited room for growth makes him the most likely killer candidate.

[fencer-x]

FENCER'S HUGE-ASS SPOILER-LADEN DAY 1 REVIEW OF FREE! THE FINAL STROKE PART 2 or How KyoAni Said, "You WILL experience 10 years' worth of emotions in 2 hours and you'll like it!!"

Let's cut to the chase. You know why you're here. I know why you're here. So I won't make you wait any longer. You wanna know every gory detail from this glorious sobfest of a movie? THEN GET THEE BEHIND A CUT!

(warning that this is probably only mildly coherent and has a HEAVY HARURIN BEND. Mostly because THE MOVIE HAS A HEAVY HARURIN BEND. Sorry I don't make the rules I just report on how much boys stay winning)

Now, I was so scared of this movie.

I have a thing, see. If a series ends, and it doesn't end EXACTLY the way I wanted it to? If it does something that I think is a sour note to end on, or even if it just makes some narrative decisions I disagree with?

I can't watch it anymore. I can't read it anymore. Everything I used to love about it turns sour to me and I can't enjoy it. It happened with Haikyuu, it happened with Evangelion. It's happened with dozens of series over the years. A series is pretty much never going to end the way I want it to, and in my case, for whatever reason, that means I can't enjoy it AT ALL anymore. I can't just imagine what happened DIDN'T happen. It's there. I can't forget it, and it ruins the story.

So I was scared of this movie. Because it was the end. Decisions would be made about characters' futures, and I probably wouldn't agree with them. Might even hate them. I was of course under no delusion that there would be any SHIPS confirmed--so that wasn't something I was worried about or excited about--but everything else. Everything else was something real and final that would be canon now.

I went anyway, though, knowing I'd never forgive myself if I just let someone else spoil me. I fought the knot in my stomach, settled in, and watched.

And I cried. Oh boy did I cry. There was definitely a moment there where I knew oh this is it, this was going to be what made me never able to watch this series again. It wasn't disappointment--it wasn't anger--it was just...sadness. A deep well of sadness.

But then they fixed it. And I won't bore you with those out-of-context details now. I'll just say read on, and you'll understand.

And then you'll start to see how amazing it was.

Movie opens with a semi-recap. Not a recap in so many words, but characters remembering things and flashing back to those scenes in the previous movie. No biggie.

Except. Except then KyoAni said, "Hi we're here to kick you in the stomach so settle in for two hours of emotional trauma :)))))" and RIPS INTO AN ACOUSTIC DRIED UP YOUTHFUL FAME. OH YEAH, THEY WERE IN. THIS. BITCH.

"But wait, flashbacks to previous scenes from the last movie? You mean we have to live through That Fight all over again?"

Oh, no don't worry. You don't have to live through it again as it happened.

You have to see how Haru imagined it going and then see his heartbreak when he realizes it didn't happen that way.

You have to hear him tell Rin, beaming and whole-heartedly committed, "Rin, I want to swim in the lane next to you in our next tournament. I want to keep walking forward with you."

Yes, he was explicit in that he wanted to go there with Rin. He wanted his future to be, explicitly, swimming alongside Rin. Competing alongside Rin. Forever.

But then, of course, that's not how it happened.

A lot of this movie takes place in imaginary sequences, dreams and nightmares and memories that never happened. It's very cool, but also a little weird XD So, par for the course for Free! For example, early on as Haru is reliving his fight with Rin, we see lots of flashbacks to them as kids, but viewed in a movie theater (whoa trippy) with baby Makoto and baby Nagisa giving commentary. Scenes of young Haru and Rin fighting morph into them as Power Ranger standins (blue and red ofc), fighting but then deciding to work together, their union being stronger than either of them alone.

Haru has nightmares that play out over and over and over--most of the time of Rin leaving him…but occasionally of him leaving Rin, of him pushing Rin away and avoiding him for so long, refusing to swim with him. Haru resents Rin for his decision to 'leave' him, but he also recognizes that it's his own selfishness and stubbornness that has hurt Rin too.

Elsewhere, the coaches discuss their students. Mikhail remarks that Rin was crying.

Part 2 is set one year after Part 1, for context--and in that time, Nagisa and Rei and Nitori have all graduated…and moved to Tokyo! Rei and Nitori have joined the swim team at Ikuya and Hiyori's school, while Nagisa has joined Kinjou's school's team. The gang's all back together again!

Haru has been training HARD this whole time…to the point that he's hurting himself. He's working himself to exhaustion, and after nearly fainting after one training session, Azuma makes him take a break to rest, warning him that he's trying to do the equivalent of strapping a huge engine into a tiny car--it's going to destroy the car eventually.

Makoto hears about Haru being made to rest because he'd worked himself to exhaustion and immediately tells Rin…who absolutely wants to MURDER Azuma. Makoto has to almost physically restrain him, begging him not to do anything rash when Rin confronts Azuma in a rage over the state he feels he's brought Haru to. Azuma snaps back, "If something's really that important to you, then you shouldn't have let it go in the first place!" Makoto and Rin split up, looking for Haru, who's nowhere to be found.

Rin runs himself ragged searching all over the city, regretting how selfish he'd been. Muttering, "I'm so lame…" he collapses on a sidewalk and rolls over…and sees a beautiful glimmering sakura tree towering over him, lit up in the night. He squints at its brilliance--and just beyond it, standing atop a building, he finally spots Haru.

Rin calls Makoto and tells him he's found Haru, and they meet up at the top of the building, where there's a night pool you can swim in. Haru is floating aimlessly on his back in the pool alone. Makoto moves to go to him--but Rin holds out a hand to stop him. Then Rin jumps in the pool and approaches Haru.

Apologies are made, challenges are issued. "You have a duty to race me," Rin says, harkening back to their first real clash when they reunited in Season 1.

They race. Rin keeps glancing over, watching Haru, as they push each other further and further.

They reach the finish, both panting, and in Haru's mind he sees himself standing once more at that railroad crossing. Rin is there, on the other side. And this time, the crossing guard lifts and Rin rushes toward him.

Back in the present, Rin launches himself into the neighboring lane, wrapping Haru in the biggest, tightest hug. (in a booth, monitoring pool usage, two night guards stare gobsmacked at each other: "Was that…was that a WORLD RECORD?" but of course it isn't official.)

Haru reflects that it didn't hurt this time. It doesn't hurt when he races Rin--or at least he doesn't feel the pain, if it's there.

Makoto approaches the poolside and reaches down, this time to help out not just Haru but the both Haru and Rin. They respond by clasping his hand--and yanking him into the pool with them.

Randomly, but here's where one of the funniest moments imho of the entire movie came, where there's a flashback showing baby Makoto and Nagisa searching for an omamori to give to baby Haru. They find a nice one from the shrine that (they think) reads "Peace of Mind." When Makoto gives it to Haru after much dithering, Haru frowns in confusion at the kanji on the trinket: "Safe Birth" (meant to be given to pregnant women to pray for a healthy, safe delivery XD).

Rin declares that he wants to help Haru find his dream again--he's going to train with Haru directly. This training with Rin blooms into training with just about EVERYONE, as everyone pitches in to help get Haru ready for the World Championships Selection Event coming up soon.

But even with all his friends' help, Haru is still pushing himself, and when the tournament comes around, Kinjou tells Haru, "Looks like you're about at your limit." When Makoto asks Azuma about this, Azuma confesses that he's pretty sure Haru only has one more good race in him--and it's this one, where rumor has it Albert is going to retire. If Haru wants to race Albert again, it has to be now or never.

Ikuya wins his own heat, and Rin wins his butterfly heat -- but when Hiyori hops in the pool for his backstroke heat, who's there in the lane next to him but SOUSUKE. Yup, Sousuke has been brushing up his backstroke since Part 1, as Nao has informed him that it's much easier on the shoulders than butterfly (I bet you can see where this is going!)

Haru takes first in his heat as well--but nearly collapses and has to be taken away to rest before the finals where he'll face off against Kinjou and Albert.

Ikuya wins Bronze in breastroke, and Rin finally gets his first bronze as well. Rin lets Gou wear his medal, and she reflects on how heavy it feels. Rin's mother then tells Rin that he should go do now the thing he really wants to do.

Haru, sleeping, confronts his younger self. "You're you and I'm me." Their experiences and feelings are both valid. They don't need to beat themselves up over it.

When Haru wakes up, he's slept through the 100-meter freestyle finals and his last chance to race Al.

But there's still one more chance for him to swim with his friends--and it's here that Rin, Ikuya, and Sousuke beg their coach to let Haru swim the freestyle leg of the relay with them. This is unorthodox, as Kinjou is the faster swimmer, and the relay team is already established. They therefore decide to split the difference: one team will race the semifinals, and another will race the finals. Of course, the finals team being allowed to race will only happen if the semifinals team does good enough.

Swimming the medley relay in the semifinals is: Hiyori (back) Ikuya (breast) Natsuya (butterfly) Kinjou (free). Kinjou finally gets to see that sight, even if he's not swimming with Haru directly.

In the finals, the lineup is Sousuke (back) Ikuya (again, breast) Rin (fly) Haru (free). Albert is swimming the freestyle leg for his own team too. It's a heated race--and one of the absolute best parts of it for me was that we got to see one last time the image of Rin, glancing up, eyes wide, screaming Haru's name, as we see Haru dive over him in slow motion, his form reflected in Rin's goggles.

It's a bit ambiguous if they win, but we do see in a picture later all four with huge smiles on their faces wearing gold medals. They won that bitch.

But victory is bittersweet: Haru has indeed pushed himself too far, and he collapses.

The next time we see Ikuya and Nitori discussing how he's doing, we learn that after that race, Haru retired from swimming.

I want you to know it was at this point I was absolutely legit bawling in my seat. I was so, so fucking sad. It wasn't an angry sadness, it wasn't really frustration. It was like someone had just died. Because swimming is Haru's life--and not just swimming, but swimming with Rin. Professionally. Competing. Forever. The whole damn movie OPENED WITH THAT. And now it was closing telling us that Haru's dream had been cut short.

ETA: lol ignore the above, I gave myself stress ulcers from mishearing taiin (discharged from a hospital) as intai (retire). Haru does NOT retire. He's discharged from the hospital. He still takes a break from swimming, but it's not that serious.

Haru goes back to Iwatobi after he retires he's discharged from the hospital, and we find out he's entered into some lucrative advertising deals, his face plastered in prominent locations in Tokyo advertising swimwear. He's popular, he's famous, even though he's not swimming professionally.

This is where the credits rolled. It was calm and tasteful, a montage of all the official art from the series over the years. The tears continued. I prayed. I begged. I hoped.

let there be a post-credits scene. please.

Someone heard me. For there was a post-credits scene. Rin is traveling the world. Nagisa and Rei are training in Tokyo with their friends and sempai. Everyone's got their eyes on the next step in their careers, professional and otherwise.

And then we learn: Albert's coming out of retirement.

Why?

"Because there's someone he wants to race again."

Yes. Haru's rehabilitation is finished, and he's returning to the circuit. His first major tournament is in Hungary--where Rin has already arrived and Makoto joins him. It's clear Haru hasn't seen either of them in quite some time (which makes sense--Haru went back to Iwatobi after he took his break from swimming, but Makoto would have needed to stay in Tokyo to study, and Rin has been globetrotting).

Haru heads to the tournament site--and stops at a railroad crossing to let a trolley pass. Between the passing cars, he can see someone on the other side. Rin.

The crossing guards lift, and they walk towards each other, finally reaching one another.

"I dreamed about a race between us," Rin says.

"Me too," Haru says.

Rin grins. "Wanna see how it ends?"

Haru smiles. "Absolutely."

The movie ends with Haru and Rin finally standing alongside each other in matching lanes. On Haru's other side, we can see Albert, who looks equally excited to be back and racing Haru again.

Final clip of the movie: A letter Haru wrote that says "Even once I'm a normal person, I'll keep on swimming."

The final words of the movie are Haru's voice: "I think I'll wait a little bit longer before I become a normal person."

THE END.

[stressy-enby]

hello!! I saw your equestrian x iida fanfic and thought it was super cute!! could you possibly do one with someone who is into theater?

YES.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I'm a theater kid, and have been for the past four years. I had so much fun with this asifaiosdfoaisfioi

Warnings: swearing

Masterlist

. . .

Unfortunately for you, UA does not have a theater program. Big sad

However, your community theater puts on teen casted shows once or twice a year

Between your school work, training, and you three rehearsals per week, you're often too tired to do much of anything else

It would be a lie to say you don't talk much about theater, you're constantly bringing funny rehearsal stories to your friends

It only gets worse in the month leading up to opening night

Who else has been either yelled at or witness someone else being yelled at by your director because you're "(insert time here) away from opening night and you don't know your lines-"?

Because if not, then you should know that the only thing worse than that is your director threatening to cut people for not knowing their choreography

It's sucks so bad

Anyway

After rehearsal, you're stressed and nervous because you're not 100% confident on your lines

You figure it can't hurt to have someone help you, so you text Iida, who's seemed the most interested in your theater endeavors

He agrees to help you run lines, and it's probably the best practice you ever had

We've all seen Iida get really into character in villain and hero roles in training, he'd make a fantastic scene partner

His commitment to a character he's not even all that familiar with and will never actually play is incredibly endearing and adorable

He even sits in as you run through a song, and he's just watching you with heart eyes 😍

Before leaving, he asks you when opening night is, and promises to be there

And there he is

Opening night rolls around, and you risk a peak from behind the curtains when the stage manager isn't looking

Holy shit

He brought the whole damn class

There's class 1-A, first row, center of the auditorium

How the hell did they snag all those seats? They must've been there even before the doors opened

Your eyes skip over your friends and peers, watching them flip through shared playbills and chat quietly

Your gaze is drawn to Iida, who's leaning closer to Midoriya at his side to read his playbill

Your heart leaps when you see the bouquet of various colorful flowers lying in his lap

Oh how you hope those are for you. You sincerely doubt they could be for anyone else, who else in the show would he know?

You pull away from the curtain before the stage manager can yell at you, shaking yourself out of your stupor

No time for feelings, you have a show to do, damnit

Iida's anxiously waiting for the curtains to open. He's read the playbill front to back multiple times, lingering specifically over your headshot and bio

No one in class was surprised when he brought the flowers. There were a few knowing smirks, and Uraraka even wiggled her eyebrows suggestively when she saw them

He bounced his leg with an unfamiliar pent up energy until your director's voice came over the speakers, reminding people to silence phones, no flash photography, the works

No matter what role you play, Iida thinks you're radient

Ensemble? You carried the whole team! Supporting character? You stole the show! Lead role? Oh boy, did he die and go to heaven, cause you killed it.

Your eyes seem to meet his every single time you're on stage. You can't help it. He's magnetic

After the show, as you take your bow, you almost tear up at the sight of your classmates cheering for you. Of Iida cheering for you

You and your castmates flow from the backstage like it's a broken dam and mingle with their friends and family in the audience

You make a beeline for the front row, stumbling back as Uraraka and Ashido hug you tightly, babbling about how amazing you were

You chat excitedly with your friends, heat rising in your cheeks at every compliment and every glowing review

Iida hangs back, watching you with a smile that can only be described as loving. Your heart leaps up into your throat at the sight of it

You're eyes are drawn once again to the flowers he's clutching tightly. You turn to Midoriya and ask him to tell Iida that you'll talk to him after you get un mic'd

You fumble with the wire and mic tape as you make your way to the sound booth, glancing back at Iida nearly the whole way back, making you almost run into quite a few people

When you return, most of your class has already gone outside to wait

It's just you and Iida, and the few remaining classmates lingering with expecting smiles

"Hey, you. Thanks for bringing everyone out." You smile softly at Iida, as you finally stop in front of him.

"Of course. You worked so hard, it'd be a shame if we couldn't all see it." He held the bouquet out to you, hand shaking so slightly you nearly missed it. "And you were easily the best part of it all."

You laugh, taking the flowers. "I don't know about that, did you see Omaki's weird faces? Funniest person ever. They carried all the comedy, honestly."

"They were quite good," Iida admitted. "But I still think you were the best part. You have a commanding stage presence. I couldn't take my eyes off you."

All the blood seemed to go straight to your face at the blunt confession. "You sure that's not just a you thing?" You tease.

He chuckles, his own face lighting up. "It may very well be."

[youranxiousnerd]

The Field Trip Thoughts

Because there is a lot of them

Spoilers for HSMTMS Below

First off, Gina and Ej are adorable. I don’t ship Portwell romantically but I adore their friendship

I’m sorry Ej is the president of the AV club?!?!?! He’s been a part of the club for, what, like two weeks? Go big or go home I guess

I love Nini’s outfit

RICKY USE YOUR EYES!!!

i see that a common theme this season is Ricky not being able to see what is right in front of him. 

I know Ricky is going through stuff. I’m a firm supporter of the Ricky needs therapy campaign. 

Gp better be Ej’s contact name for Gina or I will riot

“Are you announcing the fall musical, I vote Dear Evan Hansen.” 

two evans and possibly a third #joeserafiniforevan

YA KOURT IS STILL ON COSTUME CREW WE STAN AN ACTOR/TECHIE

“SPEECH SPEECH”

i love dara’s laugh

“Can you not keep your phone on silent in rehearsal like everyone else?” “’Sorry, everyone’, is what Carlos would say if he were more like me.”

I smell tension. They seem kind of tense this episode. I don’t know where it came from, there wasn’t really any build up bc thats how seblos rolls. Like they were completely fine last episode. Maybe Seb is just fed up or something happened off screen?

im just happy we’re getting seblos content lmao

“Terrible line” 

“Oh my god is your phone hungry i don’t understand.”

In the “previously on HSMTMTS” segment in episode 5, Carlos mentioned he was slightly scared to be on stage. he seems so effing stressed and irritated this episode more than usual. Carlos for the love of god talk to your boyfriend and eat a snickers.

I think the North High stuff has gone to his head. 

GAHH SEB’S COSTUME

okay carlos honey i love you but how can do you know north high stole your beast mask because a bit of fur is sticking out of a trunk. they have fur too. 

guys look around the room first it could have fallen but nOoOo you assume they committed a felony right off the back.

“Let it go” the kids of east high did not in fact let it go.

I AM DIANE AND I LOVE NORTH HIGH

yes, bring the loudest kids in the school to go steal something, thats an excellent idea.

and bring the kid who cant lie for sh!t im talking about you seb

RICHARD BOWEN YOU DO NOT SCREAM YOUR SCHOOL NAME IN THE ENEMY SCHOOL WTF

Carlos looks so done with everyone I feel you man, i feel you

north high looks more like pottery barn than an actual high school. Seriously, who or what is funding this place?

Miss Jenn: tells the kids to let it go and not go steal the mask. 

Also Miss Jenn: goes to north high

GET AWAY FROM GINA YOU MFER

ej is wearing the gayest shirt in history how does that north high boy believe they’re dating

nice save, ej. 

the faking dating was one of the best scenes of the episode. 

AWWW EJ 

im so happy gina is finally getting the attention she deserves. like i said earlier, i dont ship portwell but gina needs friends and ashlyn and ej are some pretty good friends. they have her back and that’s what i think gina needs.

LILY IS EVIL BUT SHE LOOKS GOOD DOING IT

kourtney darling lower your voice youre on a heist not shopping for shoes

nini you have done nothing for this heist why are you here? 

for the record, i don’t hate nini, but shes probably one of my least favorite characters. i liked her in episode 6 and season 1 tho.

the main kids all share one braincell they didn’t check the box where they originally thought the mask was.

“I want one”

Wow, you guys got caught. Between the Wildcats, loud voices, and large crew I would have never guessed.

SEB’S FACE WHEN NORTH FINDS THEM IM DYING.

The aggressiveness of Antoine’s french is killing me. 

zacky roy what are you doing?

LILY AND THE FLASHLIGHT

carlos getting fired up

“fugly” dramatic gasp

“Oh yeah, what if we bop to the top” I HAVE WAITED 17 EPISODES FOR MEAN/AGGRESSIVE/ANGRY SEB IT WAS WORTH IT

GO OFFF SEBBY

carlos’ “honey calm tf down” face

“honey no” “honey yes”

East High is confused by a dance off (so am i) but then preform a musical number to save their teacher from getting fired complete with original a original song and dance 

“That’s weird even for me”

LILY DONT YOU EFFING DARE INSULT ASHLYN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF

“She’s better than this” Next scene is Miss. Jenn dancing with the enemy

Around you is my least favorite song of the season. That being said, the singing is good

RICKY LOOK THE OTHER WAY

“Tom Holland on stilts” 

“That man is ridiculous and you should dump him and date me” ANTOINE THAT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY BUT ITS SO FUNNY

i love antoine

dj antoine in the house!

“I knew you all didn’t like the Mob Song”

“What kind of budget” THANK YOU KOURTNEY

nini straight up said “see ya”

how is no one questioning why someone is in costume? didn’t lily say no costumes?

also how is howie beast playing guitar with those gloves?

YAY KOURTNEY

ANDREW BARTH FELDMAN EVERYONE

seb really said “go get em babe”

CARLOS POP OFF

i love how frankie was singing in his lower range or it was just autotune

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU YASSSSS

nice save, antoine. do i ship? idk, but it was cute.

mob song was good. the solos were pretty good as well as the dancing but the background track...not my style. it was enjoyable tho.

SALTY BIG RED

“No, Nini’s Rose Song.”

im so glad they addressed why the rose song cant be used. its a really good song and olivia sings it perfectly but it doesn’t make sense for the plot and you cant alter text.

“Ej you had one job”

nini really likes leaving

Zack you are an adult it is high school theater not the World Series

“it’s just a song, ricky” I think you kinda, ya know wasn’t “just a song”. Out of the Old wasn’t “just a song”. All I want wasn’t “just a song”. How is Rose Song any different?

gina and ej goofing off is awesome

seb and carlos being the theater dads watching over their children

ope- howie turn your phone off

carlos and seb really said “bye, have fun” THEY BOLTED

ummm...yeah

you can see how much howie regretted in that moment

“I’m Nina” ooo interesting is she going to go by Nina now?

Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. The stakes are high and I’m glad the other relationships are getting screen time. The balance was good this week, I wish it was like this every week. My only issue is how underdeveloped the plot was this episode, but beside that it was pretty good.

[inkweaver22-blr]

Welcome to chapter nine! This one was meant to just be another filler with one of my own AU’s, but Tang just had to be introspective and have a moment of character growth. Hope you enjoy!

EDIT: This chapter has been edited to include some new info dropped on the same day I originally posted this! More info in the End Notes!

AO3 Link

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Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Nine: Rocks and Roles

Tang knows how to act. That doesn't mean he likes to play every part.

----------

Tang liked to think of himself as a decent actor, at least back in the original timeline. He had been part of the theater class in high school and telling stories required a bit of a dramatic flair if you wanted to keep your audience entertained. Convincing Pigsy he was a popular food critic hadn’t been too hard back then.

The many cycles he had been through had certainly helped polish his skill into a genuine talent. That one time where he and everyone else had been professional actors playing the roles of themselves from the original timeline as part of a show had especially allowed him to hone himself to a greater degree than before.

Being stuck jumping through time had practically made it a necessity.

It wasn’t that Tang enjoyed what was essentially lying to his family. It was more for their protection. He had almost broken the “No Interference” rule a few times when he hadn’t properly reacted to events that, while shocking or upsetting to his family, were simply part of his routine by now. He couldn’t allow the repetitive nature of the cycles to make him slip up and potentially cause more harm by being confronted by his lack of surprise or fear.

So he acted. He gasped at all the right moments or screamed in fear when in danger. Every laugh, every sigh of exasperation, every freak out over something related to Wukong was perfectly performed so as to not to raise suspicion. So long as the proper reaction occurred in response to the correct effect, everything went smoothly.

It wasn’t too hard or taxing as he never needed to fake his enjoyment of being around his family. Luckily for him, he also didn’t have to act exactly as he had been in the original timeline, or he may have gone insane from the monotony of it.

The cycles where his background was entirely rewritten were blessings in disguise, really. They were new. Fresh experiences for Tang to have and not have to work as hard to realistically react to.

He treated them like a method acting exercise. The new memories as part of Tang’s new backstory was the motivation for the ‘character’ he was playing. He didn’t have to fully adhere to them, but they certainly helped him play the role provided to him for the cycle.

He still disliked playing the villain however.

It happened a few times before already. The most notable had been when Zhu Bajie was in the role of Sun Wukong as MK’s mentor.

Tang shuddered at the memory of that timeline.

Saying that version of him had been unhinged was severely downplaying the many atrocities he had performed on both himself and others. Committing suicide to erase his name from the books of the dead, killing demons to absorb their lifeforce, and cutting open his own chest to manually insert the gem holding that lifeforce into himself for power were simply the tamer actions he had committed.

He supposed that heartbreak, jealousy, and internalized insecurities could drive even the most benign people to madness so long as they properly justified their actions to themselves.

It had been the first time in quite a while that Tang seriously considered intentionally breaking the interference rule and just running off to live in solitude for the entire cycle. Getting “redeemed” had been one of the most difficult things he had tried to pull off.

Tang dodged a swipe from the Monkey King’s staff as he was brought back into the present.

He was the villain once again this cycle. Luckily though, he was much less of a threat to his family this time around.

He was replacing Red Son as the demon child of Demon Bull King and Princess Iron Fan.

Tang, Son of the Earth.

He wasn’t the only one who was switched around. Pigsy, who went by Bajie, was a human who had become Wukong’s successor. MK was a boar demon who ran the noodle shop. Red Son was a scientist and engineer who frequented the restaurant.

It was almost an opposite reflection of the cycle he had just been musing about.

“You’ll have to do better than that, noodle boy,” Tang taunted as he swung his arms to pull chunks of stone from the ground, his hands and the Earth he controlled both glowing with a golden-yellow light.

He supposed that it made sense for him to have some sort of elemental power if he was this timeline’s Red Son. Earth fit as he had certainly mellowed out over the course of the cycles, becoming more focused and self assured. His original self would have most certainly been associated with air with how flighty he had been.

Tang made sure to keep his full concentration as he attacked Bajie. Earth may be the element of the sturdy, but it had the potential to be much more volatile than fire. It was easy to let loose and cause a catastrophic earthquake. It took precision to control smaller pieces of rock without causing too much collateral damage.

Bajie batted away the earthen projectiles with ease and rushed into an opening Tang had intentionally left. He had to do his best to not rely on the fighting skills he had from previous cycles and use only what his memories knew when playing a villain. Otherwise he’d easily beat the fledgling hero and that certainly would be treated as interfering.

Tang winced as the staff connected with his ribs and sent him flying. He coughed as he pulled himself up, holding his injured side as he glared at the now smirking Bajie.

“How’s that for better!”

“This isn’t over,” Tang cried out dramatically. He activated his powers, this time summoning a whirlwind of sand to teleport away.

Another scene as the villain successfully played out.

----------

Tang sat in his workshop, calculating the specific size of a rune circle he would need.

It seemed that similarly to how Red Son was a genius that incorporated magic into science, this version of Tang was one who incorporated science into magic. Not a big distinction, but important in how the process worked. It still took an impressive amount of knowledge on both subjects to work them together in the end.

Setting his pen down to take a break, Tang looked around as he stretched. He caught his reflection in a nearby piece of metal machinery he had been fiddling with and examined himself once again.

He didn’t look too different from his human self, his face remaining the same. His hair was now a dark brown with yellow highlights and his glasses were much smaller. The biggest difference were the bull horns sticking out of the side of his head.

He didn’t mind them too much, but having to give up any pull over shirt for button downs was a hassle.

Looking at his horns lead the demon scholar to think about his parents in this timeline.

Demon Bull King and Princess Iron Fan.

Tang frowned as he recalled the less than comforting welcome he had received after returning from his defeat. The disapproving dismissal from his father and scathing taunts from his mother had been demoralizing. It would have hurt more if he hadn't had the years of time jumping behind him.

If this was how Red Son was commonly treated, it was no wonder he worked hard in everything he did just to gain a scrap of approval and praise.

And yet he knew they loved each other. The moments he noticed didn’t happen often, but he could tell that his parents held some affection for him, and he obviously cared for them. He just didn’t understand why they acted so cruelly to one another.

Was it a demon thing? Were they afraid that by showing their love they were showing weakness?

That was certainly possible, but Tang disagreed with the sentiment. He had been through enough cycles to see that love made one stronger. It wasn’t the weakness their enemies thought it was.

Tang was already planning on becoming redeemed in this cycle. It hurt to think his parents would disown him, but what if that didn’t have to happen?

He thought about that one specific cycle and how he had become so twisted. All of it could have been avoided had his past self simply let go of his long held beliefs and went with Bajie.

Now he just had to make two powerful demons do just that.

Tang was an amazing actor.

He also had many years of watching the people around him and knew most of them almost better than they knew themselves.

His current parents were no exception.

He could see the potential for a loving and healthy family, buried just beneath the surface.

It would take some work, but he was sure he could unearth it and polish that potential until it shined.

With renewed energy, Tang pulled out a blank scroll and began planning.

He had a family to save.

----------

Welcome to what I’m calling the Noodle Swap AU! It is named that way because the only change is that the pairs that make up the two most popular noodle ships (SpicyNoodles and FreeNoodles) swap places!

Shout out to @winterpower98 for their amazing Actor AU and Dad Swap AU mentioned in this chapter! Go check them out!

Yes, yes, I know I’ve basically made Tang here Terra from Teen Titans. Most people would give him Air as an element, but 1) we already have an Air user in Princess Iron Fan and 2) Tang has changed quite a bit since the start of this Time Hopping experience, as he states himself in the chapter.

I do genuinely believe there’s a loving family hidden somewhere underneath all the cruelty the DBK crew throw at each other. It’s already been hinted that Red Son will get a redemption arc in the show, but I want one for his parents too.

That’s all for now! See you in the next chapter!

:IMPORTANT EDIT!!!!:

There's been a few paragraphs changed and added to include the new canon lore for Tang in the Dad Swap AU! Go check out @kitkat1003's absolutely ASTOUNDING work, When the Tide Pulls Away and the Earth Sharpens to Steel! It is INCREDIBLE and if it was finished, you'd absolutely know there would be an entire chapter dedicated to it here.

[cottoncandyjester]

Wait....Top Wholesome Y/N gets terrifying jealous. Can I request that!? Y/N wrap their arms around the yandere's waist (hugging them from behind) and lay their forehead on their shoulder. Y/N takes a deep sigh and looks at them with a glare full of anger (or horniness...but mostly Y/N being piss off.) Y/N whisper in their ear, "Let's go home...I need to release some steam." Yandere is unable to walk the next morning. (Can you write it about the yanderes who are just...bottoms? Or become a bottom when Y/N is a top? Thank you)

I just adore the thought of the yanderes being bottoms to a possessive y/n

Skipped hikaru cause he has a whole story bout him being a bottom

Didn't add scarlett cause there is no way she is a bottom, the only way she would ever bottom is if maybe she was with a feral reader

This story contains: smut, jealous reader, reader giving off soft yandere vibes

Theodore

Theo was incredibly handsome so it's only natural that someone would wish to flirt with him. He had took you to one of his favorite coffee shop for a relaxing date, all it took was you leaving to the bathroom only to return to have a flock of girls around him. "Oh, well thank you for such kind words but I'm on a date" it seems they weren't getting the hint so you walked over before simply plopping down in theo's lap a sharp glare on your face while the male pushed up his glasses his face red before he placed a hand on your thigh. "Theo, let's go home now."

Your hands gripped the male's hair as he felt like his hips were breaking from you slamming down on his cock over and over and over. "Y-y/n~ y-you're being too rough on me i-i cant-" his shaky words were met with a rough kiss before you pulled back watching his eyes get teary. "Who owns you and this cock?" Your voice was low and filled with a burning rage that you just had to release. With that you continued to ride him in such a way that drove him absolutely insane, you were definitely in control of this situation "y-you do! I-im all yours!"

Axis

"oh so you're blind? Poor baby. Must be hard on you."

Axis nervously stood waiting for you to show up to the movie theater for your date and while waiting some older women decided that he was just too adorable to pass up. The male tried to explain that he was on a date but it seems they weren't getting it "y-you all a-are really k-kind but I'm waiting for my-" his words were cut off when a scent hit his nose and like an excited dog he turned his head towards the smell before feeling a soft hand against his arm. It's you! He knew that smell anywhere! You wrapped your arms around his waist your breathing tickling his neck.

"hey babe, let's go home and watch movies instead okay?"

Axis drooled as he felt you grip his hair yanking his head close to your sex making him pleasure you while you pumped your fingers deeper into his hole. "You're such a sweetie, but you shouldn't be so kind to strangers ax it makes me sad" your pouting tone made the male whine and whimper as he trailed his tongue along your more sensitive of areas

"i-i never wanna make you sad..never! P-please forgive me y/n!"

Salem

Salem had his nature of docile and calm, moments where you two can go on a date on public without making a scene. Though feeling someone rub against him always riled him up so when you excused yourself to the bathroom while you do were eating breakfast at a diner it wasn't long until he had some flirty strangers sit beside him and rub along his thigh trying to take him home.

"you're hair is so pretty, I've never seen a boy with such pretty long hair" their voice was making salem's head spin though he wasn't sure if that was good or bad. His instant thought was downright gruesome they weren't you, so it was okay to eat them..right?

Salem started to drool which they must've taken as intense pleasure cause it wasn't long until he was backed into the corner of the booth trying to hold in his cannibalistic urges while he felt hands trail up his thighs. And soon the feeling was whipped away as you pulled the stranger away before grabbing salem's hand your eyes cold and filled with rage. It was time to go home

"who owns you?! Who owns everything about you?!"

Your voice was drowned out by salem's loud squeals and moans as you thrusted deep into his hole your hands gripping the leash connected to the collar around his neck that choked him. "Y/n! Y/n! Y/n!" His chanted got more and more whinier as you fucked him harder until he was sobbing and shaking under you. Salem was such a good boy

Prince

Prince was a total ladies man or at least he was until he met you, he had to let all his many one night stands know that he was off the market though some just didn't get the memo. "Come now princey, you really gonna say no to me? Don't you remember what we did right here after hours...we were so loud I'm sure the whole area heard it" prince nervously gazed at the female who sat at his bar clearly wanting another ride. His main worry was you coming back thinking he was unfaithful.

"Sorry but I don't put my dick just anywhere anymore"

"but you could, you always hated commitment so why bother now?"

Before prince can utter a word you were hopping over the bar without a single care in the world. "Hey babe, you done working?"

Prince admired your badass nature and simply nodded ready to go, though he missed that deadly glare you shot towards the slut.

"if your groupies can only see you now, whining and whimpering to feel an ounce of pleasure" you spoke lowly as prince bucked his hips up as you stroked his cock and fingered his hole but gave a frustrated huff when you stopped for the third time that moment, just as he was close you would stop and he was going crazy.

"p-please, have mercy"

"I'll think about it."

Yuki

Yuki gave off huge 'dont bother me' vibes but even still with that people would come up to him thinking they have a chance. You two were at the arcade and had split up since he had to use the bathroom, as he started to walk back to where you were he bumped into someone causing him to stumble back lightly. He looked and saw that it wasn't you so he proceeded to keep walking without speaking a word.

"don't leave a guy hanging now hot stuff!" The male stranger followed yuki who now scrolled through his phone ignoring the stranger but soon noticed they blocked his path. With a frustrated sigh he looked up his green eyes clearly bored and uninterested

"you're quite the looker..how about we go out together?"

"no."

They definitely wasn't expecting his dry and short response but when yuki suddenly felt himself being touched he cringed lightly making an expression one can see as cute. Having someone touch his chest that wasn't you gave him bad vibes, he didn't like that. Before he could take action you were at his side hugging against him calming his nerves down

"please don't touch him okay? He has anxiety" your sweet tone did not match your sharp glare or light scowl. With that you dragged yuki along who was more than eager to cling to you.

Yuki panted softly his back arching as you thrusted slowly inside of him making it unbearably slow, he needed more so much more and your teasing was making him crazy. "Come now, you can be louder than that can't you? Tell me what you want yuki"

"y-you, I want you..please y/n"

Rocket

Your beefed up boyfriend always got attention wherever he went, so going to the beach was probably a terrible idea honestly. You two found a perfect spot and once all set up rocket excitedly stripped out of his shirt, you definitely noticed all the stares from both male and females. Of course it wasn't long until a group of girls came up to him blushing and giggling, clearly wanting to ask him out

You sat next to him on the towel while he started to put sunscreen on, your glare was sharp as the girls started to flirt and gawk. "You're really ripped, do you work out or something?" Rocket who was oblivious as always proceeded to entertain them with his innocent answer. "Well we're going to play volleyball, of your sibling doesn't mind you leaving then maybe you can join us?"

SIBLING?! utter rage filled you but you forced a smile now standing up, rocket glanced your way and was about to correct the girls but you simply interrupted him. "Hey babe I think it's gonna start raining soon we should go" you were met by a pouty rocket who really wanted to go swimming but the two of you packed it up and went home.

The water grew cold as you stroked rocket's thick cock while standing behind him trailing kisses along his back feeling him shudder and squirm against your touch. "B-babe, I'm gonna- ngh! So good" his small moans always made you even hornier and it wasn't long until you had him pressed against the shower wall sliding inside of him and feeling his large body shiver at the feeling. Your hands going straight to his chest now groping it and squeezing his nipples

"I'll show you who you belong to"

Yuuta& yuuji

Having two boys meant twice the flirting and twice the annoying sluts bothering them. You three had taken a vacation to disneyworld and when your three weren't in the hotel fucking each other's brains out you were at the amusment park walking around and doing things.

"hey how about we ride that?" Yuuji pointed at a big roller coaster that made both you and yuuta worry about your life. As you three waited in line yuuta felt someone brush their hand against his waist, thinking that it was you he settled down not minding it until he nothing both your hands gripped yuuji's arm.

with wide eyes he turned only to see a random girl touching him but to make matters worse it seems yuuji got targeted as well by a boy, the twins had a look of discomfort. "Sorry me and my brother were wondering if you two would be open to a double date, you two are very cute and-" you cut them off with a loud fake yawn causing both boys to look towards you in worry their attention on you now.

"oh sweetie! Are you tired? We can go back to the hotel if you want?"

"damn y/n if you're sleepy you should have let us know!"

Wasn't long until you held both boys hands the three of you walking back to the hotel while you shot the strangers a hard glare.

"you two really are so cute, no wonder people fall for you." You eyed the two boys who both had their hands tied above their heads, blindfolds on while a line of sex toys sat at the end of the bed. You've been teasing their holes for the last hour and they couldn't take it much longer.

You pumped the toys into each of their holes watching their reactions, yuuji always gave the cutest moans while yuuta whined and let out small cries of bliss.

[eddie-redmayne-italian-blog]

Eddie Redmayne on ‘Red,’ the Tonys, and Color Blindness

By BlackBook Published: June 3, 2010

At 28, Eddie Redmayne has perfected a look of fresh-faced innocence masking inner commotion. He’s invoked the expression for various roles, as the chilling young murderer Alex Forbes in Like Minds and as a downward-spiraling, matricide-committing homosexual opposite Julianne Moore in Savage Grace. On stage, he’s played the emotionally charged boy whose architect father falls in love with a goat in Edward Albee’s The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia? Redmayne keeps a copy of the play with him in his current dressing room at the Golden Theater, where he’s starring in the Tony Award-nominated play Red alongside Alfred Molina. Redmayne, who nabbed one of those noms himself (for Best Performance by a Featured Actor), plays another permutation of the plotting innocent—not a murderer, but no less intense as the fictional assistant to abstract expressionist painter Mark Rothko (Molina). We caught up with the actor to discuss the fate of Rothko’s famous murals, his own color blindness, and what he’s wearing to the Tonys.

I saw the play last night and am still recovering. It was intense! How do you do it night after night? Well, last night I had some friends in so I ended up going for some drinks after and I woke up this morning with a slightly filthy hangover. So I punished myself by doing tax receipts.

What drew you to the play? I assume it had something to do with your background studying art in college. Well, the theater in [London’s] Donmar Warehouse where the play started is one of the great gems of theaters in the world, and Michael Grandage, who runs it, is a wonderful man. I’ve seen a lot of his work for many years, and I’ve worked at the Donmar before, but never under him. So when the idea of a two-handed play specifically about art—the idea that the arts matters—came up, it was one of those rare moments where everything that I was interested in and engaged in kind of collided, a wonderful little moment of fate. 

The play focuses on the murals Rothko painted for the Seagram building before he changed his mind about giving them up. A few ended up in the Tate Modern. Isn’t the museum naturally lit, which would seem to go against Rothko’s wishes? The story is that once he withdrew the commissions he had—I think it was 35 canvases— all the museums in the world wanted to get their hands them. So obviously, Rothko was very tentative about who he would give them to. And one of the guys was Sir Norman Reed, who was the curator of the Tate, and for ten years Norman Reed would swear to Rothko that they would build or create special rooms specifically for them at the Tate Britain—this was before the Tate Modern existed. The wall color would be as prescribed by Rothko, the lighting would be exactly as he wanted, and eventually Rothko agreed to that. So ten years after the end of the play, the same day that the Seagram murals arrived off the boat in London, Sir Norman Reed got a call that Rothko had been found by his assistant with his wrists slit. So the answer is that some of these murals, which were originally in the Tate Britain, are now in the Tate Modern in a room that is lit properly. 

Alfred Molina had source material to draw on as Rothko, but your character Ken is fictitious. Where did you find your inspiration? What’s interesting is subsequent to doing the play in America, I got a letter from a woman called Virginia Foster, who is the widow of a guy called Dan Rice, and he was Rothko’s assistant during the Seagram murals. And whilst the character is not based on him, Virginia sent me this transcript of him talking about working for Rothko. And weirdly, even though I’ve done the play in London and done it here, reading the transcript reinforced some of the character. But I approached it the way I approach any character—I see what’s in the text and flesh it out with references from life. And certainly, I’ve had experiences with elder actors and bosses in the past who I’ve had complex and tricky relationships with. 

There’s a scene where Ken is talking to someone on the phone, trying to decide whether to show Rothko his own paintings. Who was he talking to? That’s a very good question. I think it’s his girlfriend, and John Logan (the writer) thinks it’s his boyfriend. It remains a bone of contention between the two of us. 

You did your college dissertation on Yves Klein, who was a big advocate of blue. [Laughs] So this is the sequel.

As an art lover, do you have a color preference? The color that Yves Klein does. Wet paint has a luminosity that dies when it dries and it loses the gloss. So Yves created this color scientifically that retains that luminosity. He was a big showman, so he got it copyrighted. The color is called IKB—International Klein Blue. And it sounds all bullshit-y and ridiculous, but when you stand in front of those canvases, the color is sublime and dumbfounding. So that specific color is my favorite color in the world. Are you going to follow this up with a colorblind question?

No, wasn’t planning on it, but if you want to discuss it. No, I talk passionately about that color and then people go “but you’re colorblind.” And I go, “I know. I don’t know what I see but I see it and I like it.” 

You must have some confidence because you already have the Olivier award for this role. Are you nervous about the Tonys? Do you know what? It’s amazing how many award ceremonies there are in America. Am I nervous about the Tonys? Genuinely, the nomination was completely beyond anything I’ve ever thought about.

 You’re being so diplomatic. I wanted to ask who you consider to be your biggest competition. Frustratingly, one problem with doing plays here is that you don’t get to see anything because your schedule doesn’t allow it. But I’ve met all the guys and I’ve heard extraordinary things about Stephen in Fences and Stephen Kunken in Enron is meant to be wonderful. Do you have your outfit picked out? I do. A couple of years ago I did some work with Christopher Bailey who runs Burberry. I’m a huge fan of his so I’m going to be cut out in British Burberry. 

So what’s next? I see there’s something called The Pillars of the Earth? I’m actually really excited about it. It’s a huge epic medieval story that was a book by Ken Follett and it was one of Oprah’s favorite books and was subsequently a massive international bestseller. It’s being aired on the Starz network in July. It’s an 8-hour miniseries and I play this young boy who is mute and has grown up in the forest and who, over eight hours, becomes a master builder. So it’s about apprenticeship and craft and it’s also set in a historical time, with monarchs changing and war. What I’ve seen looks spectacular.

https://blackbookmag.com/archive/eddie-redmayne-on-red-the-tonys-and-color-blindness/

[demwhore]

Maniac (Mark Lee.)

pairing | Mark Lee x Female Reader | greaser! mark | soc! reader  description: After a sudden drink at the West side with your soc friends, alcohol kicked in your senses; showed up at your ex boyfriend’s home, alone, carrying a shovel and a rose. words | 4k genre | young adult fiction, smut warnings | language, drinking, scenes of making-out, violence. this is a problematic fic because it is based on the novel “The Outsiders” a/n | I do not condone the actions depicted in this fic. This is written for fictional purposes only. I dedicate this to @xuxi-rolls [i love u, thank u] to @hyuck-me​ [hi min thank you!] and @bumblebeenct​ [thank you for proofreading the trash ver.] this was rushed. i apologize.  taglist | @renjunlite @mjlkau @xyyydream @jungcity​  ps | my muse for this is maniac by conan grey

🔙 main masterlist

There are always two sides of everything. Two sides to every coin. For example, in a neighborhood; there is an east side and a west side. There is a fine line between the two, and that is exactly the world you live in. You are a Soc (pronounced as Soches, or short for Socials), as fancy as it is, that is what they call it. This meant that you lived on the west side of the neighborhood; together with other wealthy Socs. Mainly the jocks, cheerleaders, or snobs. The Socs despised the Greasers, so much— to the point, after seeing one, they would either end up slashing out each other’s throats with their fancy switchblades or to get into an old-fashioned fist-fight.  

Greasers. One world but it possesses a lot of definitions. Quite notorious. They were known to be problematic, criminals, a bunch of chaotic guys who always flunk their classes just to smoke and drink, hair literally drenched in grease with leather jackets and ripped jeans. A typical James Dean. They are situated on the East side of the neighborhood. Considered poor, not low-class but, poor, poorer than any Socs, poorer than any of the people alive. They merely survive by committing crimes, or when they are lucky enough— jobs at gasoline stations. 

Greasers. People who have trouble chasing after their tails, and adding to the list, they really have a distinct vocabulary. Which always surprises you. “What’ya try’na do Soc?”

Greasers were known for their bad reputation but even so, you ended up falling in love with one. His name was Mark Lee. It all started when you were about to head home from a night out at the drive-in theater, when Jacob, a Soc that also went to your school, ended up harassing you to be his girl. Wanting to butter your ‘muffins’ since they weren’t buttered at all. You didn’t know what he was trying to imply, but it didn’t seem right and appeared insulting on your part. Mark’s gang happened to cross the path you were taking, and heard your distressed yells of ‘stay away from me’ that Jacob did not seem to understand. The first meeting with Mark wasn’t that extravagant like how prince Philip met Aurora in the forest, it was rather dark; full of sweat, blood, and switchblades. You heard the yells of Mark’s gang telling him to stay the hell out of the Soc’s business but he could see that Jacob just wouldn’t stop and you were on the verge of tears. Mark knew what to do. He had Jacob down in a second. Jacob tried to fight to get loose; he even did for a few seconds before Mark tightened his hold. Jacob laid still, swearing at the greasers between gasps. Then, things turned bad, when Jacob stabbed Mark’s shin with his switchblade. In the end however, it was Jacob who went home ruined and blue. 

“Are you all right, uhm, Socs?” Soc. 

You nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

He rubbed your hair, “You’re an okay kid, Soc. Always have someone, some, er--soc join you on yer’ way home.”

Then he left with his greaser friends. Mark was handsome. You hated to admit, but he was. He was the same type of handsome as a young Johnny Depp, if more, he was gorgeous. His hair was jet black, with the signature grease lingering within. He wore his worn-out denim jeans with a leather jacket that complemented his white shirt underneath. You couldn't see his face clearly, but it was full of cuts and bruises. Yes, they were the guys your parents warned you about. Cigarettes and switchblades. 

Yet you couldn’t stop thinking about the greaser. You absentmindedly poured toothpaste on your hand instead of your toothbrush; mind too occupied by the young boy you met. You had mentally slapped yourself for being so timid, you could’ve done something nice to treat him for saving you from Jacob, or at least ask for his name. It made you insane, head empty except for thoughts of the greaser. You felt hopeless but fate had other plans, since you both crossed paths, again. This time in a local diner, specifically by the concession stand. You insisted on paying for his strawberry shake and from that interaction, the greaser boy stole your heart. You exchanged smiles and names. You felt conscious under his gaze, intimidated even, but Mark proved that their tough appearance was just a façade. Behind the rugged persona hides a boy; who is carefree, a greaser boy that loved you more than his switchblade and comb.

The months you had together were paradise. He never forced you to embrace the greaser culture, and he’d let you do your thing. You were still the awkward Soc girl who wears beige cardigans over a fitted dress shirt and plaid skirt. Eloquent. Articulated. But ever since you’d started hanging out more on the east side, the soc in you started to fade and Mark didn’t know if he should be boasting with pride or afraid. You learn to spat at people, (which made your mother mortified as to where the hell did you would’ve learnt that? You just answered her with a meek smile) both literally and figuratively, the latter one because you’d seen Mark spit as a smoker and the aftermath is an itchy throat. You were staying up late and the alibi you’d use was studying at Amber’s house. The truth is, you were with Mark and his friends at the drive-in theater, making out till the guards kicked you out. 

The memory wasn’t vague. But the movie flashed by the theater’s projector was ‘Rebel without a case’ starring James Dean. It was a good movie, indeed, but you are busy with Mark’s lip at the time. He was more entertaining than the movie you had paid to see. Straddling his lap you found your hands detangling his heavily styled hair. You felt his hands cupping your ass as your lips practically crashed into each other. Teeth to teeth, tongue interlacing. You were timid, but with Mark, it suddenly went away. 

Pulling away momentarily you asked “Are you gonna wham, bam, thank you sweetie, me?”

His brows furrowed as his hot breath fanned your face, “What?”

You grinned, “Nothing.”

Mark rolled his eyes, his hands leaving your body as he struggled to remove something from the car’s cabin. He handed you a rose, and you found the ends of your lips twitching. You took the rose from him and shifted your attention to him. His lips were slightly parted, lips red, hickeys all over his neck. Mark was a guy full of troubles yet he was so charming. There was just something in him that made you feel enchanted, maybe it was his candidness. He doesn’t deny that he isn’t the right guy for you but he is willing to change his bullshit, just for you. The gesture made your heart turn somersaults. 

“Where did you get this from?”

“Well, I’m a penny short and I oughta buy you chocolates but I’ll be late for our date. Stolen these when old man Ricky wasn’t looking.” He admitted with a frown. Your brows arched up, you weren’t expecting a blunt answer yet there he is. He looked adorable with his eyes practically apologizing for his wrong-doings. A surprised laugh came out of your lips. The laughter from you urged him to continue on talking. 

“I might not be rich as the socs in your place but you have my heart and dick.”

You chortled at his statement, “Is that the answer to my statement a while ago?”

“What? The wham, bam?”

“Yeah.”

“Yea, It’ll be cool to play here with peewee.” Mark named his car “Peewee’, a 1950s Chevrolet, 4 door bel air. His lips met yours again, but this time he exerted dominance, cupping the back of your head to pull you closer to him. His other thumb stroked your thighs lightly. Mark’s kiss was deep and passionate. The world around you seems to crumble as you are too absorbed with his existence. He nibbled onto your lip, before brushing over the spot with his sinful tongue. The kiss grew urgent, his hands gripping your waist tightly carefully grinding your figure onto his lap. It made him hard and you were already soaking in arousal. He groped your ass making you yelp. You wanted this. To drown in Mark’s kisses. Mark repositioned his seat to make more room for you before he connected his lips again with yours. His touch was innocent, feathery, slightly climbing its way to your dress to touch your inner thighs.

You felt goosebumps all over your skin. His intimate touches, turned your whimpers into quiet moans against his lips, which in turn, made Mark bring one of his slim fingers to your mouth, silencing you. 

“You oughta keep your voice down, baby.” He mumbled on your lip. The end of his pink lips tugging a smirk. Despite his warning, you kept going, this time trying to hold into  sanity, as the feeling of Mark’s erection sent chills to your spine. You shivered when Mark’s finger wandered to the inner part of your thigh. You immediately pushed your legs apart, allowing his fingers to cup the apex of your thighs, pressing a digit onto your soaked pussy. He played with the elastic band of your panties, then carefully touched your slit. You clit throbbing and eager for his touch.

“You’re soaking wet, damn, all for me?” He cooed. His voice low, lips tickling your ear, “Does it feel good? You wanted to be touched like this?”

“Y-yes, please k-keep going.” You whined, while frantically searching for something to grasp. You arched your hips to get more access to his torturing touches. 

He gave you a sly smirk, “I will, because you asked so sweetly, baby.” He placed a chaste kiss on your lips. Then, he immediately slid in his index finger into your entrance. A sigh left your mouth as you felt your walls stretch; something you’ve never felt before. “Do you feel uncomfortable?”

If a word could explain what you were feeling at the moment, uncomfortable isn’t the correct word to describe it; rather, euphoric. Mark, at this point, had fully inserted his finger to the knuckles. “No, n-no, keep going, p-please.” You whispered as you took a hold of Mark’s shoulders and gripped them for dear life; knuckles turning white. You choked out when you felt his fingers found a spot inside you. Bingo. Mark chuckled quietly, running his tongue over his lips, the sight before him was divine. You, squirming under his touch while he played with your cunt. He prodded the same exact spot again, this time you had to bury your head onto his shoulders to keep yourself quiet.

“Jackpot, baby.”

“A-ah it f-feels good!” 

You squeezed your eyes shut letting the waves of pleasure soak you. You arched your hips to meet his fingers. Letting yourself feel. After one digit, Mark carefully inserted his middle finger, just beside his index. You gasped, it was an unknown feeling; your body twitched momentarily from the sudden sting. Mark met your neglected clit and rubbed it; the sting fading out. You gritted your teeth, ragged breaths leaving your mouth. You felt the arousal building inside you; ready to leave your body. If it wasn’t for Mark’s lips, silencing you, the whole theater would know what you two were doing. He planted a kiss to your cheeks, “You cumming, baby?”

The movie was still rolling, but to you it was just pure noise. You are too engrossed, head clouded, muddled with pleasure. Jim Stark said his great lines, ‘If I had one day when I didn't have to be all confused and I didn't have to feel that I was ashamed of everything’. Mark played with your clit again, his digits busy poking your g-spot, you knew, you were on the edge of coming. Mark pressed your body into his and you trembled against his lap. Your walls tightened against Mark’s fingers. With one last rub, your arousal came, he pulled his fingers away from you. Your panties, now soaking wet. You made a mental note to throw those out to the washer as soon as you go home. Your body collapsed against Mark’s chest. He raised his fingers; wet and glistening with your juice. You felt your cheeks flare when you saw how he popped his fingers onto his mouth, leaving a satisfying groan at the taste of you. You covered your face in embarrassment and felt Mark’s chest vibrate with laughter. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you more.”

 It was fun while it lasted. A typical bad boy and good girl, two teenagers in love. The relationship was almost as perfect for you. You never had arguments with him, because he was so chill about everything you do. Yet then, in the blink of an eye, the relationship turned into a complete fiasco. 

Maybe you were too confident that people wouldn’t stick their noses in other people’s business, but they proved you wrong. You were oblivious to the fact that everyone’s eyes were set upon you. Eventually a rumour circulated around the school you and Mark were attending.

“Did you hear about Y/N, girls?”

It piqued your ears. You stopped your tracks to hear the answer, “Her and Mark, that greaser boy, oh God, he’s crazy and drives her mad!”

You were stunned at the outburst. The only person who knows about your relationship was Amber, other than that, your mouth was completely sealed. You opened your locker and grabbed your books. Just as you slammed the door shut, you came face to face with Avril, the school’s queen bee and apparently, Jacob’s new toy. She gave you a sly smirk. 

“I never knew you’d be the type to date a greaser. That’s just out of your boundaries, eh?”

You raised your brow, completely facing her, “How did you know about that?”

Her smirk widens, showing sets of teeth with a slight smudge of her violet lipstick, “Good ol’ boy Jacob saw you two at the local drive-in. Next day, he had the rumors circulating like shit.”

You folded your arms to your chest, “Listen, what you’ve heard are all just rumours.”

“Oh yeah? Your brother’s gang happened to be with Jacob that time.”

You felt the blood drain from your face. It was now painfully clear; the night you came home, your brother, Jaehyun, wasn’t already home. When he returned, two hours later, he was panting heavily, cuts all over his face, and he was carrying his favorite baseball bat drenched with mud and a liquid colored crimson; blood. You seized her collar and the people around you gasped at your sudden movements. You hissed while she struggled to remove your grip, “Where the hell is Jacob?”

Avril sniggered, “And why should I tell you? So you can save your wimpy little greaser boyfriend? Well news flash he’s a maniac!”

You held her collar more tightly, holding the fabric close to her neck. Avril gasped for air, her arms flailing. She gave in and choked out, “Locker room.” You pushed her away and her body flung against the lockers. The other students jumped away in fear. You glanced over your shoulder, “He isn’t a maniac Avril. He is more of a gentleman than your misogynistic boyfriend will ever be,”. You trailed away, planning on beating Jacob up with one of  your thick algebra books. You could still recall the moves Jaehyun had taught you. Aim at the jaw, because that is the human’s shut off button, and that is what you intend to do. 

It didn’t take you long to find Jacob. After a series of turns, you arrived at the boy’s locker room. As you entered, there were few catcalls heard, but you chose to ignore— hey ya, sexy, as it was pointless— boys with their foul words because they never think with their minds. Jacob stood out among the other lads in the room. He was tall, had blonde hair, icy-blue eyes, a jock, and while it was hard to admit, he was really handsome. But he wasn't the right guy, and you were sure, as he never met your standards. His icy blue eyes widened at the sight of your marching figure, the ends of his lips tugging upward. Feeling triumphant as if he’d won his recent football match.

“Do you wish to continue our little rendezvous?” He gave you a lazy grin. You stopped your tracks and tilted your head a little bit higher to match his gaze. If books could give an exact definition of Jacob, he could be compared with Ares, the god of war; As Homer called him, murderous, bloodstained, the incarnate curse of mortals. But strangely, a coward, too, who bellows with pain and runs away when he is wounded. Jacob only knew how to fight, it's a giveaway, with his nice fit and physique. But he plays dirty and hides underneath a girl’s skirt when he knows he fucked up. He is too much of a coward, never using his brain, rather letting his dick think for him. Him and Mark have a gargantuan difference, and for that, loving Mark, was the biggest choice you have never chosen to regret. 

“What is this all about Jacob?”

He ran a finger through his slightly damp, golden locks. His brows shot upward, his lip jutting out, as if proving to you, what he did was something you should never be mad about. He shrugged, “I just made a psa.” He leaned down to match your height, “Soc girls ain’t for greasers. I was simply just saving you.”

“You aren’t my dad so you don’t go dictating me what to do and what not to do!”

He raised his left brow, “Hell yeah? I cannot accept the fact you chose him over me, Y/N! Are you fucking insane?”

“No. But I am capable of choosing the people who are best for me.” 

“Betcha brother didn’t take the news nicely.” 

You gave him a glare and jammed the algebra book to his face. The reason why Jacob spread those malicious rumors about Mark is because he couldn’t accept the fact that you have chosen grease over money. He had an ego to protect and so, he went lashing out, ruining someone else’s image. You stormed out of the locker room to search for your brother. He must’ve gone mad at this point. The thought gave you chills, Jaehyun beating Mark to death. You could recall how he wore his adorning rings earlier in the morning before you both left the house. Those rings had helped Jaehyun beat someone into pulp, almost killing his foe with it. Bullshit. You had algebra at eight, but you have chosen to flunk it. Worried to death, all you could think of was mark.

Jaehyun seized Mark’s now bloodsoaked white t-shirt. Jaehyun felt extreme frustration, he couldn’t control the shaking of his fists as well as the baring of his teeth. Jaehyun made a beeline for Mark’s jaw, and not content with the results; he made another uppercut, straight into the greaser’s gut. Johnny released his hold on Mark’s shirt. At that moment, Mark couldn’t think straight; it was as if his mind had been a finished puzzle and Jaehyun’s assault had it jumbled to pieces. The greaser clenched his stomach; his head was throbbing like hell. He could almost taste the bitter, salty taste of bile. Fucking hell. Jaehyun surely shook the greaser’s system, like literally. 

Jaehyun held his wrist and twirled it. He ignored the stinging sensation on his cheek. That wasn’t one of his concerns. His cheeks could wait but his fist couldn't. What Jaehyun hated and was concerned about the most was having a greaser fuck with his sister. It was just an overall no for him. Also, the fact that Jacob blurted out the news while he was in the midst of a football game just made him more of a misanthropic jock wanting to choke the hell out the guy who played with his sister. 

Jaehyun breathed. “Stay the hell out of my sister’s life, greaser.”

Mark spat out blood. His voice was hoarse. “Why should I do that?”

“Because I said so.”

“Hell no, soc. I ain’t doing what’cha want, just because y’all want me to.” 

Jaehyun’s patience was paper thin and the fact that his day wasn’t getting any better was wearing him down. “You’re testing my patience, huh greaser?”

Jaehyun nodded towards Johnny and the center gripped both of Mark’s shoulders. Mark gulped hard, trying to wiggle his way out of Johnny’s grip, but the guy was just big, he stood no chance. 

Jaehyun gritted his teeth. Mark’s eyes trailed down the shiny metal Jaehyun was holding, a switchblade. Jaehyun twisted the blade elegantly in his hands. Mark never felt fear in his life, it was the emotion he had long forgotten. But he stood there, defenseless, with the socs dominating him, all he could do was to wait for his fate, or his death. “Stay the fuck out of my sister’s life, greaser.”

A girl's voice shook the three. “Jaehyun! Stop!”

You stood there disheveled, as if you had just run a few kilometers. Your blouse is crumpled, the first buttons were well, unbuttoned. Your chest rises with every exhale you make. Your eyes trailed at Mark then towards your brother. “Jaehyun, stop.”

Jaehyun glared at you. He never looked at you like that, ever. 

His tone was strict. “Go back to your classes.”

“Jaehyun, I-”

“I said. Go. back. To. your. Classes.” 

You stood there dumbfounded, staring back at your fuming brother. Then, he yelled at you, snapping you out from your daze.

You fucked up.

Years. You are not allowed to go out alone anymore. The last contact you had with Mark was the time, he and Jaehyun were ‘talking’. No proper goodbyes, no proper closure. You had blamed Jacob for all of that. You were beyond frustrated, you missed the boy who made you feel like a human, alive, loved. But, now he only exists in your memories. Markie and his goofish car, peewee. 

Present time. 

“Hey Y/N!”

You squinted. Madonna’s songs played loudly in the local diner. Your vision blurred while trying to find the familiar figure of Amber. 

“Hey Y/N!”

“Whaaaaat?!”

You leaned on the diner’s counter. The alcohol had taken a toll on you and all you wanted to do was to dance the night away with Material Girl playing loudly in the background. You pumped your fist in the air, head bobbing up and down, you started to dance carelessly towards the dance floor. Having to drink alcohol had your appendages work on their own. You leaned too far and had your body bumping on someone else’s.

You slurred. “Sorrrry.”

Amber cursed under her breath. “This girl is unbelievable.”

You continued on, singing on the top of your lungs, “I’m a material giiiiirl!”

Amber mustered her strength to grab you out of the dance floor, and to avoid you practically flailing your body towards the other college party-goers. 

I made it through the wilderness. Somehow I made it through..

You shoved your body through the crowd to sluggishly approach your car. Head empty, intoxicated with alcohol and all you can think of was Mark. 

You pulled over the familiar neighborhood. The darkest pits of the society. You eyed the shovel in your trunk and the rose, a random guy handed to you earlier. You approached the door and pounded harshly on the door.

The door opened with a loud hiss. And the guy you’ve been yearning for, stood before you. He eyes the rose and the shovel in your hands. A slow smirk painted his lips. 

“What’ya doin’ here?”

“Mark.”

“I’m done with you. Cause people like you always want back what they can't have. But I'm past that and you know that. So you should turn back to your rat pack, tell 'em trash.”

[gaylorlyrics]

the last great american dynasty

Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train, it was sunny

Her saltbox house on the coast took her mind off St. Louis

Rebekah is Rebekah “Betty” Semple West Pierce a sculptor, and philanthropist born on April 17, 1915 in St. Louis. She also composed music, one of many similarities between her and Taylor.

Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name, and money

Bill refers to William Hale "Bill" Harkness, the grandson of David Harkness who invested with John Rockefeller in Standard Oil. When David died he left what would today be over a billion dollars to Bill’s father, who was also named William Harkness. Eventually Bill inherited what would today be approximately $185M dollars from his father (approx 70% of this wealth was from Standard Oil shares).

And the town said "How did a middle class divorcée do it?"

In 1939 Rebekah married Dickson Pierce, descendent of President Franklin Pierce. However they divorced in 1946, and then in 1947 she married Bill. Her father was a stockbroker, and her grandfather started a trust company - so she wasn’t exactly middle class, but her wealth was significantly less than the wealth of the Harkness family.

The wedding was charming, if a little gauche There's only so far new money goes They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House"

Holiday House was built on Watch Hill in Rhode Island by Mrs. George Grant Snowden who, contrary to the song, named it Holiday House. Seems like this house has been having raucous 4th of July parties for a long time - at least according to this NYTimes article from July 6, 1941:

Their parties were tasteful, if a little loud

The language here mirrors that of the first verse - “the wedding was charming, if a little gauche”.

The doctor had told him to settle down

Bill died in August (interesting!!!!) 1954 of a heart attack - he had also had a heart attack the year prior, but that one was obviously not fatal. He and Rebekah had one child together named Edith who eventually committed suicide at the age of 34. 

It must have been her fault his heart gave out

This line calls attention to how women are frequently blamed for, well, everything. Something that is explored more in mad woman.

And they said "There goes the last great American dynasty" Who knows, if she never showed up what could've been There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen She had a marvelous time ruining everything

The chorus and the title of this song seems to come from the title of a book about Rebekah called “Blue Blood: How Rebekah Harkness, One of the Richest Women in the World, Destroyed a Great American Family” written by Craig Unger. The from cover of the book reads “The story of Rebekah Harkness and how one of the richest families in the world descended into drugs, madness, suicide, and violence”. [Also, interesting that the background of the cover I found looks a lot like the blue/pink in the Lover cover!]

The chorus also references “mad woman”, another track on folklore. This song subverts the idea of a mad woman. The title and subtitle of Blue Blood use Rebekah as a scapegoat for everything that went wrong, blaming her solely for violence, drugs, mental illness, and loss. It uses several classic, sexist tropes of a gold-digger, a “crazy” woman, and the whore. However, in this song Rebekah is not taking the blame or feeling guilt about what is happening - she is having a marvelous time.

Another interesting thing is changing “great American family” - family is defined as “a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household” - to the word “great American dynasty” - dynasty is defined as “a line of hereditary rulers of a country.” I find this specifically interesting because dynasty, unlike family, acknowledges a long lineage of people and decisions that lead to this outcome, as opposed to placing all the responsibility and blame on Rebekah, who only entered the picture at the tail end of this story. The title of Blue Blood has no accountability for the people who were involved with the dynasty before - framing it as if David Harkness didn’t choose to leave his wealth to his lineage, as if Bill Harkness did not choose to marry Rebekah, and as if the wealth Bill inherited wasn’t already diminished by 81.5% from what the family’s original wealth was (as passed down from David Harkness to Bill’s father).

However, Taylor is changing the narrative here to give Rebekah a more joyful way to be remembered.

Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever Flew in all the Bitch Pack friends from the city

Rebekah and her fellow debutantes formed a group called the Bitch Pack and were known for causing a scene at parties, doing strip teases on the tables or putting mineral oil in the punch, which acts as a laxative.

Taylor is drawing a parallel here to her famous squad days, when her and her group of girl friends were constantly under fire from the internet/press.

Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names

Rumor has it that Rebekah cleaned her pool with Dom Perignon. Being a socialite and one of the richest women in America, she frequently kept high profile/famous/successful company - hence the “big names”. Stories of her involve J.D. Salinger, Alvin Ailey, and Andy Warhol, to name a few. However, swimming in champaign is also a metaphor or the carefree life of the rich and famous - something that she used in This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, from Reputation, where Taylor describes a similar scene:

It was so nice throwing big parties

Jumping to the pool from the balcony 

Everyone swimming in a champagne sea 

And there are no rules when you show up here 

Bass beat rattling the chandelier

Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year

Another interesting tidbit is that the house where The Great Gatsby (1974) was filmed is the Rosecliff Mansion in Rhode Island, about 1 hour away from Holiday House.

And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet

Rebekah married twice more after Bill’s death, once in 1961 and once in 1974. As a life long dancer, she spent the majority of her time and energy founding (in 1964) and developing The Harkness Ballet Foundation, which still exists today as The Harkness Foundation for Dance. As part of this endeavor she also established a ballet training school and the Harkness Theater. She paid for everything for the company, from teachers to housing to plastic surgery. The company went on tour and performed at the White House, although it had a generally negative critical reception. At the peak of the company’s success Rebekah abandoned the project and started a different company

And losing on card game bets with Dalí

Although I couldn’t find anything specifically referencing a card game, Rebekah was good friends with Salvadore Dali. Here they are pictured holding a press conference together.

A portion of Rebekah’s ashes are in a $250,000 urn created by Dali called “The Chalice of Life”. The urn was designed to spin, so that Rebekah could always be dancing.

And they said "There goes the last great American dynasty" Who knows, if she never showed up, what could've been There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen She had a marvelous time ruining everything They say she was seen on occasion Pacing the rocks staring out at the midnight sea And in a feud with her neighbor She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green

According to the NYTimes, Rebekah dyed her neighbors cat green 

Fifty years is a long time Holiday House sat quietly on that beach Free of women with madness Their men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me

Weeee the classic Taylor Swift storytelling twist! This is a great flex by Taylor to just casually drop in a reminder that she is a rich woman who has made her own money and can buy whatever she wants. The phrasing of this also let’s us know that the house is no longer free of women (plural, more than one woman) with madness (we’ll hear more about being a mad woman later in the album), their (possessive, something owned or bought) men, and their bad habits (bearding?). Taylor is admitting to having all of these things. Who knows, if I never showed up what could've been There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen I had a marvelous time ruining everything I had a marvelous time Ruining everything A marvelous time Ruining everything A marvelous time I had a marvelous time

This makes me think of the line at the end of Miss Americana - “Sorry I was loud in my house. That I bought. With the songs that I wrote about my life.” 

Taylor, like Rebekah, is used to being blamed for everything and causing a scene. Even her purchase of Holiday House caused considerable backlash and commotion - with the governor creating a tax in 2015 (two years after Taylor purchased the house) called the “Taylor Swift tax” on homes worth over $1M dollars - something that affected many people in Rhode Island, especially those with large houses and vacation homes. All Taylor did was buy a house to live in (with her money, that she got from writing songs about her life), and she was immediately brought under fire.

However, like she did with Rebekah’s story, Taylor is flipping that narrative and focusing on how much fun she is having instead.

[angrylizardjacket]

heard your name in every love song {Ben Hardy} 1

1. when he was looking out for me (i would pretend he was my summer fling)

Summary: When you’re twelve and you have a crush on your babysitter, your parents think it’s puppy love, think it’s cute, and you’ll forget about it soon enough.

A/N: 2266 words. Female!Reader. okay so the sprained ankle in Space Jump is a direct reference to something that happened in my theater class, that being a dude snapped his fucking femur playing Fruit Salad. RIP adam’s femur for the following few months. he’s fine now, that was like 8 years ago. whatever. are all these theater games i mention real? i’ll never tell. here’s part 1. DISCLAIMER: NO CREEPY SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WOULDN’T DO THAT; THERE’S A LITTLE BIT OF PINING FROM Y/N BUT THAT’S IT. there’s a few assumptions made abt Y/N’s life; only child, parents (plural, idk how many, doesn’t matter), plays Crash Bandicoot and Mario Kart, takes theater classes outside of school.

the mutant brotherhood: @daisy-lu​ @hervoidparadise​ @nedmjpeter​ @ultrunning​ @d-r-e-a-m-catchme​ @clementimee​ @that-fandom-sucks-tho​ @cjand10​ @rest-is-detail​ @baileymae​ @rosesvioletshardy​ @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @hazelstyles94​ @bitchylittleredhead​ @bihemian-rhapsody​ @sweatyexpertgardenpanda​ @whereeverythingisbetter​ @dedxbed​ @xxencagedxx​ @glittrixvibe​ @a-girl-with-stress​ @sunflower-ben​ @pxroxide-prinxcesss​ @mrsmazzello​ @cubedtriangle​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @misscharlottelee @nevilles-insinuations @jovialcreatorkidtoad @brianmaysclog @sambuckywarrior @hey-yo-bedussey @bubblyanis @lifesciencesbois @elektraofcrete @diosanaz @bbdoyouloveme @kirstansworld @okilover02 @cardboardbenmazzello @dreashappyworld @juliarose21 @simonedk @greycuby @emmasunshiine @dinotje @qtrogerina @spiketacus @nympha-door-a @local-troubled-writer @emphatic-af @wh0a-thisisheavy @lustgardn @banginashton 

--

When you’re twelve, and almost at the end of your first year of high school, you get into a fight with your parents as to whether or not you still need a babysitter. Much to your chagrin, however, they don’t see twelve as ‘practically sixteen, which is practically an adult’ and you sulk for the full three days leading up to the night they were going out. The night of, you’re fully intending on staying in your room, until there’s a knock at the door, and you hear a voice that is absolutely not your usual babysitter.

“Be good,” your parents call to you as they’re leaving, having noticed where you’d cracked the door to your room to see who it was. You make a face at them, but you’re surprised to see a kid from Sixth Form on crutches, who is absolutely not Madeline, standing in the hallway awkwardly. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen him around school, maybe he’s on the soccer team? You’re not sure. 

“You’re not Maddy,” you tell him, opening the door a little wider, and he seems surprised for a moment to see you there. A kind, awkward smile appears on his face as he regards you with gentle amusement.

“Well spotted, I’m Ben, Maddy’s got the flu,” he explained easily, and offered his hand, “you’re Y/N, right?” And he’s trying so hard, but you’re still kind of mad at your parents for insisting on a babysitter in the first place.

“Who else would I be?” You asked flatly, which surprised a laugh from Ben, but you shook his hand anyways; you had to give him props for trying, “why are you using crutches?” You asked outright, since you’re pretty sure he wasn’t using crutches last time you saw him at school. You turned, heading for the living room, deciding to at least give him a chance.

“Sprained my ankle in class the other week,” he explained, hobbling along behind you.

“Sport or just P.E?” You asked, throwing yourself onto the sofa and picking up the TV remote. Ben was quiet for a long moment, and when you look at where he’s sitting gingerly on the edge of the sofa, he’s making a face like he doesn’t quite want to admit the truth.

“Theater sports,” he explained, which piqued your interest, which, of course, you try not to let show on your face, because if your babysitter knows you already think he’s cool, you might die of embarrassment. But also, you suddenly feel incredibly validated for taking those theater classes every Thursday afternoon.

“They’re -” he tries to explain, but you give another eye roll.

“I know what theater sports are,” you tell him, and his smile turns amused. 

“You do?” He asks, and you think he might be a little bit impressed, or perhaps it was just wishful thinking, either way, you nod firmly, “well I was in the middle of Space Jump - you know Space Jump, right? Where you start an activity and then someone else calls ‘Space Jump’ and you have to freeze and they have to make a new scene from your freeze, and then someone else comes in -” he explained, mostly to save you the embarrassment of admitting you didn’t know the game, “well I was up on one leg on a chair, climbing the rigging of a ship, you know how pirates do, and I froze, and -” he gestured how he’d fallen off the chair, with accompanying sound effects.

“Couldn’t you have just put your other foot down and balanced yourself?” You offered, and he shook his head, expression adamant.

“It’s all about the commitment to the bit; I was trying to entertain them, and the best way I can do that is to put myself out there one-hundred percent,” he told you sincerely, “you’ve always gotta follow through.”

“You sprained your ankle,” you pointed out, “isn’t that dangerous advice?” He deflates a little, looking down at his leg.

“Follow through but use your common sense, you’ve got common sense, don’t you?” He asked, giving a wry smile, two which you nodded diligently, “don’t get yourself hurt, then,” he suggests, before changing the subject quickly, “you hungry yet? Your parents said we could order pizza.” You’re easily excited by the thought of pizza, a rare treat your parents allowed you whenever you were babysat. 

It’s a pretty uneventful night, all things considered, you order pizza, and he lets you win at Crash Team Racing, and you’re falling asleep to a comedy movie until Ben gently suggests that you go to bed. You’re too tired to argue and try and weasel your way into staying up later, so you yawn loudly and wish him a good night before shuffling off to bed. The house is quiet, apart from where he’s watching a Top Gear rerun and waiting for your parents to get home.

You don’t think about it much beyond telling your parents ‘yeah, he’s pretty cool’ when they ask. You don’t think about him much beyond that, at least not for almost a full week, until you’re sitting in your geography class just before lunch, having managed to snag a seat by the window looking out onto the back field, and there’s a PE class doing laps on the field. All are running, except the teacher, and a boy with blonde hair, standing with all his weight on one foot, and a pair of crutches tossed to the side, looking like he’s arguing the teacher.

“I heard when you’re in sixth form you get to push in the front of the line at the canteen,” you hear your friend, Merissa, next to you muse, and when you turn, she’s followed your gaze outside to the field. After a moment, you turn again, and watch the blonde attempt to put weight on his obviously injured foot; it looks like he regrets it, and he sits on the grass, sulking. 

“That’s probably Ben,” Merissa tells you matter-of-factly, “he’s on the football team with my brother.” And something about the kind of unwarranted pride in her voice at being in the know makes your face scrunch up. Part of you wants to tell her that you know who Ben is, obviously, but another part of you doesn’t want to admit to still needing a babysitter; it feels childish. So you keep your mouth shut and turn to back to the board.

And the following week, in your weekly theater class, you’re about to take your turn at Bus Stop, wherein your goal is to make the other person on the ‘bus stop’ as uncomfortable as possible until they finally leave, which is when you’ll assume the roll of the innocent bystander, and someone else from the class will come up and try and make you uncomfortable. It’s a lesson on improvisation disguised as a game. 

The voice you’ve been practicing slightly pinches your vocal cords, and you’ve barely got a moment to assume a matching physicality, and you worry for a second that it’s not funny, that you’ll just look like an idiot -

Put yourself out there one hundred percent.

You steel yourself, making strange shapes with your hands as you twist yourself into as much of a creature as possible, within reason, using the strange voice you’d concocted, feeling a thrill as your entrance gets the biggest laugh of the class. Oh.

A few months later, in the Summer after your first year of high school, you’re finally thirteen, and are allowed to have the house to yourself for the day, but if you’re parents are anticipating staying out later than midnight, you need -

“Please,” you begged, “just don’t say babysitter, I’m not a baby.”

“Fine,” they acquiesce, “you need supervision, just if we’re out very late.” 

Despite your indignation at the situation, Maddy’s got a cello concert, and you’re hoping that that means -

Ben greets you like a friend, wearing a denim jacket with no crutches, and he might be the coolest person you know.

“You still on Crash Team Racing?” He asks with raised eyebrows as he heads into the living room, and you roll your eyes.

“That’s so old school,” you scoff, and he raises his hands in surrender, trying not to look as amused as he feels, watching as you pull out two Wii remotes, “Mario Kart’s much better.” And you hand him one. 

He’s not above letting you win, but it turns out, he doesn’t have to; you’re scarily good at the game, which you credit to playing pretty much nothing else for a solid month, and by the time the pizza arrives, the win ratio is about fifty-fifty, and you’ve bonded considerably over your mutual and unreasonable hatred for Waluigi, the only NPC who seems to consistently beat you both.

“Do you get to push in the front of the line at the canteen?” You asked, holding your pizza in one hand and letting it cool for a moment.

“Huh?” Ben’s burnt the roof of his mouth, and is reaching for his drink when you ask, “whaddya mean?”

“My friend Merissa says Sixth Form gets to push in the front of the line.” 

“I don’t think we’re technically allowed to,” he says after a moment of consideration, and you hear his nonverbal ‘but we still do’ anyways, “it’s not a rule rule, you know?”

“Are the A-levels hard?”

“Haven’t done ‘em yet,” he answers honestly, burping quietly after taking a drink, and you hum, and take a bite of pizza.

“I’m already scared of my GCSEs,” you admit after a moment of chewing, and Ben laughs gently.

“You’ve got nothing to be afraid of,” and he sounds like he means it, so you can’t help but believe it, soothed a little in your premature worrying. To be fair, Ben could say anything about school or life and you’d probably believe it; he was cool and older than you, but he treated you like a friend. 

You mention in passing that you’d gotten the lead for your class’s skit in the end of year showcase your theater company puts on, and mentions that it’s because you’d been committing to the bit in class, and the pride in his voice when he congratulates you is something you end up thinking about for days.

He ends up babysitting you twice more that Summer, not that you were complaining. It meant you got pizza, and to hang out with the coolest person you knew, a fact which you reiterated to your parents, much to their fond amusement, though you made them swear to never tell Ben that. He brought over Super Smash Bros and you guys would play for hours.

The only problem was that Ben was never allowed to know about the crush you had on him, because everyone in the world knew it was weird to have a crush on your babysitter, and you’re pretty sure he has a girlfriend and -

Doesn’t matter. You’re just started to discover the delightful world of crushes and relationships, and Merissa has a boyfriend on Tumblr, and you know that when you get back to school you can have a normal crush on a normal boy in your year, even if all the boys in your year look like thumbs. And Ben...

Is your babysitter. And a decent guy. And your friend, sort of. So you just hope he hasn’t noticed.

After Summer, he’s studying his A-levels, and Maddy’s got a day job so she can babysit at nights again, and it feels like everything’s gone back to normal, like you can breathe again. 

You’ve never really seen him at school; you don’t tend to hang around the back fields, but a few weeks into the first term, you’re having lunch with Merissa and Charlie, one of your other friends, in the library, when you spot him laden down with textbooks, making his way to one of the study rooms at the back. You’re not sure if he’ll even acknowledge you, even though your table is directly along the best route to the back rooms, so you just give him and smile and a nod in greeting.

“Hey, Y/N,” he grins quickly, doesn’t stop, but nods in return, and your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest. Charlie sinks her nails into your arm the moment he’s gone into the study room, and Merissa quietly screeches your name.

“Chill out,” you’re trying to keep a low profile, but both other thirteen year old girls are demanding to know what just happened, “we’re friends.” You say with a shrug that’s far too casual.

“Friends?!” Merissa demands, and you can feel yourself growing more flustered.

“We hung out a few times during summer,” you open your notebook in front of you, trying to distract yourself.

“You hung out with Ben? Y/N he’s a football guy, he’s so old, he’s like eighteen!”

“We’re friends,” you insist, “don’t be, like, creepy about it,” you snorted, and Charlie let out a pterodactyl-like noise. They drop it at your insistence, and you’re just glad they don’t ask you to elaborate. 

You don’t see Ben much after that anymore, he’s too busy with his A-levels to babysit, and when you’re fourteen, your parents agree that you don’t need a babysitter anymore. You’re more than happy to let your Summer crush fall to the wayside, and let your memories of Ben, like all good Summer memories, fade into blurry obscurity. 

You wouldn’t need to worry about seeing him again anyways, right?

Oh how wrong you were.

[thedeviljudges]

Do you think Yohan believed anything he said in his ep 15 'confession' when he publicly admitted to the charges and parroted Gaon's point about having crossed the line? I know everything he does is calculated, that he knew exactly what he was doing and anticipated the results, but we also know Yohan wields the truth as a weapon, so I'm just curious whether or not he did, on some level, mean it, or at least acknowledge to himself it was objectively true, even if that didn't overly bother him?

i think, objectively speaking, he knows it's wrong, but doesn't actually care because i don't know that yohan himself expected to make it out alive. which in and of itself would be retribution for the sins he committed. however, he also DOES care. it's really two-fold.

i think him saying what he did is not just an acknowledgement of what gaon told him, but i think there could be lingering regret that gaon got involved and hurt in the process. like, yohan has had a plan in place for 10 years, and here comes this stupid, naive boy (naive to yohan, i don't mean that in general) who cares for yohan and who yohan cares for in return, and now there might be some level of regret—not of his plans—but of having someone else get involved.

because the main reason yohan got gaon involved is because he saw him as an equal and someone to help him and join his little team of misfits, but i don't think he ever expected to care for gaon to become meaningful, or even continue to get in his way, and now there's just regret that gaon, no matter how, will get hurt—mainly from yohan's actions more so than outer forces hurting him (although that does happen).

you can also tell when yohan's being sincere and when he's not. he has a very certain tonality and cadence to his voice. just before he turns to speak, he blinks, and you can kind of see that dead-eyed expression take over of putting on a game face and doing what he has to do. we also have to keep in mind that yohan built in contingency plans in case things went wrong, so it does beg the question whether he saw this betrayal coming (although i don't think he did) because he had planned in the event for him being arrested at any given point.

we also have a very dramatic light that turns on and makes a thud when it does so, almost as if the actor has shown up to the stage, and now yohan is washed in theater lights. also the way he says "i am a criminal" and there's like, this little head tilt, really comes off as someone who's just saying shit just to say it, lmao. it's all in the mannerisms, too.

HOWEVER, i do think he also meant it because when he's talking about how the elite got away with power, that is from the heart and directly speaking about the events with isaac. that was the driving force behind his entire plan to begin with, and i think he meant all of that, but he's playing the sympathy card because he knows the people will relate to him on that level.

no matter how right/wrong he is though, yohan wouldn't stop his plans. not even gaon would've been able to do it because it was always going to happen that way no matter what. even with wrenches thrown into his plans, the outcome would always be the same, and yohan saying what he does to everyone isn't so much as an apology as it is just admitting to why he's doing what he's doing. i don't think he regrets it but is utilizing it to his advantage. so he means it, but underneath it's very much him manipulating the situation. which is so weird because it's hard for people to imagine being sincere but manipulative at the same time. it's kind of a cognitive dissonance thing that goes on, but i think that's what that scene represents.

not to mention the fact, he knew after it would away the public. dude walked away from that press conference fully knowing he baited and got everyone, lmao. it's funny because for someone like yohan who has been a character shown over and over again how difficult it was for him to relate to people, to have friends, to be a part of a family, he is THE most relatable character because he wants the same things as everyone else does. that press conference proved it if it hadn't been proven before.

i mean, we could make the argument that yohan used that argument for 10 years as justification, and he did, but what i mean is: did yohan truly believe that the entire time, or was his plot just for revenge and he latched onto the idea that the elite must pay the price for their sins to justify his revenge, or did he believe in BOTH. and think gaon is the answer to that question—that yohan probably cares for humanity way more than he lets on. maybe not always, maybe only sometimes, but why would he give the world to gaon if he believed differently? yohan literally GAVE yohan the entire judicial system to play with, and said "here, you make use of it now. see what you can do that i couldn't." i don't think he did that just to give gaon something to believe in. it was more the fact that yohan trusted gaon to do good in ways that he could not due to his revenge. and to me that spells out someone who does care, but his no. 1 priority was himself and elijah, and then everyone afterwards.

[theoutcastrogue]

Caravaggio’s “The Cardsharps” and “The Fortune Teller”

[abridged excerpt from Keith Christiansen, A Caravaggio Rediscovered: The Lute Player (The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1990)]

Fig. 1. Caravaggio, The Cardsharps (c. 1594). Kimbell Art Museum, Fort Worth, Texas  

Caravaggio (1571—1610) had arrived in Rome from his native Lombardy sometime after May 1592, unknown and without a single major picture to his credit. One rumor had it that he fled Milan following an altercation, but he may simply have been seeking a larger arena for his untried but considerable ambition. His first two years in the city were miserable. For a time he was reduced to painting copies of devotional pictures for a beneficiary of Saint Peter’s (a task for which few artists can have been more ill-suited). His attempts to set up shop with other young artists ended in failure, until the most ambitious of his early pictures—The Cardsharps—was purchased by Cardinal del Monte. The cardinal seems to have been greatly impressed with the work, for there followed an invitation to take up quarters in his residence and the promise of a stipend. The event marked a turning point. The years spent with Del Monte, from roughly 1595 to 1600, were crucial to Caravaggio’s career and his development as an artist.

More than thirty copies of The Cardsharps are known. The critic Bellori, who was not an admirer of Caravaggio—he championed an idealist conception of art at odds with the realistic premise of Caravaggio’s work—describes it thus:

“[Caravaggio] showed a simple boy with cards in his hand, his head copied from life very well, wearing dark clothes, and opposite him a fraudulent youth in profile who with one hand leans on the game table and with the other takes a trick card from his belt, while a third [figure] near the boy observes the markings of the cards and with three fingers signals his companion, who, in leaning over the table displays to the light his yellow jacket with black stripes; nor is the color untrue to life.”

Fig. 2. Caravaggio, The Fortune Teller (c. 1594). Pinacoteca Capitolina, Rome.

When Del Monte purchased The Cardsharps and The Fortune Teller, their subjects were as novel as their style. So far from being simple demonstrations of mimesis—paintings as tranches de vie—they employed recognizable types and familiar situations to make a quasi-didactic, moralizing point about deception and the credulity of youth. This intent linked them to a category of painting that Cardinal Gabriele Paleotti had termed pitture ridicole in his 1582 discourse on painting: pictures that instruct by ridiculing foolish behavior. However, the works Paleotti probably had in mind relied, for the most part, on an extensive use of emblems and parody. Caravaggio’s approach, at once disarmingly direct and richly allusive, was a radical departure, brought out in a 1603 madrigal on The Fortune Teller by Gaspare Murtola :

I don’t know which is the greater sorceress: the woman who dissembles, or you, who painted her. She with her sweet spells ravishes our hearts and blood. You have painted her so that she seems alive; so that, living and breathing, others believe her.

The ability to convey meaning by seducing the viewer into accepting a picture as the equivalent of a real experience rather than as an abstracted statement lies at the heart of Caravaggio’s art, and it placed him at odds with the art establishment of his day. Nonetheless, even a later, classically biased critic like Bellori realized that this novel approach required not only technical mastery but also a command of costumes and the ability to describe human character.

Fig. 3. Caravaggio, The Cardsharps (detail).

In The Cardsharps the wily figure to the right (fig. 3) is identified as a soldier of fortune, or bravo, by the clothes he wears. These closely match the illustrated description (fig. 4) in Cesare Vecellio’s manual of costumes (Venice, 1590), where it is stated that “these bravi or sbricchi… wear on their heads high hats of velvet or silk… with a jacket of Flemish cloth and stitched sleeves…. They frequently vary their dress, and are always dueling…. They serve this or that [master] for money, swearing and bullying without provocation, and committing all kind of scandals and murders.” In Caravaggio’s picture the bravo sports a parrying dagger (pugnale), which he wears on his left rather than his right hip, since he carries no sword.

Fig. 4. A soldier of fortune (bravo venetiano), from Cesare Vecellio, De gli habiti antichi, et moderni (Venice, 1590).

Caravaggio, who enjoyed the role of the street brawler himself, must have been familiar with these youths. In his 1565 compendium of gambling practices, Giovanni Cardaro warned against gambling with such types, noting that they always won “because of their greater experience, trickery, and skill.”

Fig. 5. Caravaggio, The Cardsharps (detail).

In contrast to the brash clothes of this streetwise young sharp is the velvet finery of his victim, an empty-headed pretty boy (fig. 5). The cunning accomplice wears torn gloves and mismatched vest and sleeves that define his social status as effectively as does his comical face, with its exaggerated, almost masklike expression (among Caravaggio’s earliest and not altogether successful attempts to depict a fleeting emotion).

Fig. 6. Capitano Spavento, or Il Capitano, a stock character of commedia dell’arte. Here in a 19th century illustration interpreting Poccetti’s c. 1607 fresco showing the Italian actor Francesco Andreini in his costume as Capitano Spavento.

The picture was intended to be read as a staged scene involving clearly differentiated characters enacting an episode from everyday life, and there can be little doubt that for both The Cardsharps and The Fortune Teller Caravaggio drew inspiration from the conventions of popular theater and such stock characters as the bravo Capitano Spavento (fig. 6). He did, however, conspicuously avoid the element of burlesque that was part of the commedia dell'arte tradition and that was frequently taken up by his later imitators in their treatment of the same themes.

Fig. 7. Hans Holbein, “The Gamester: Death and the Devil seize upon the Gambler at his cards.” woodcut from the Dance of Death. (Basel, 1526)

While the theater was one source for Caravaggio, another was northern prints. He would appear to have studied Holbein’s woodcut illustration to the Dance of Death showing three quarreling gamblers beset by Death and the Devil (fig. 7). However, unlike Holbein and other northern artists, Caravaggio was not interested in condemning gambling as a vice but in exploiting it to expose human foibles.

~ Keith Christiansen, A Caravaggio Rediscovered: The Lute Player (The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1990); abridged excerpt

[themuzzleofnemesis]

7–Memory of the God; Scene 5

The Muzzle of Nemesis, pages 244-255

A vast plain.

A world with nothing in it.

I stood now at its center.

.

Postman—no, the “Servant of Evil” Allen Avadonia, stood by my side.

“Welcome back.”

It was a short greeting.

Where in the world had I returned to?

I knew the answer to that, now.

.

This was—the real world.

A nothing world after it had been brought to ruin.

--The world I had destroyed.

.

That clinic.

That laboratory.

And me, working there.

Allen told me that it was all a delusion.

But that wasn’t right.

It had also been a truth.

Before this world had been born.

The world that I had lived in.

That was the way it had looked before it fell.

Before we had “run away” to space.

That was me from the days I had fought there.

.

“What I’d like to ask first,” I said to Allen. “Is how you’re here on the ground world now, when you died centuries ago.”

Allen replied, smiling slightly, “It’s not just me. Everyone is here. Everyone who once lived in this world.”

“Even though the world was destroyed?”

“It’s because it was destroyed. Almost all of the souls are here on the ground world as a result of the barrier between this place and the hellish yard being broken.”

“Then are you a soul too?”

I didn’t really need to ask that.

I had just said it myself.

He died centuries ago.

“I see…Everyone’s a soul. Then there’s no more living people in this world, I suppose.”

“Wrong.” Allen shook his head. “There is one.”

“Huh?”

“—You. The sole living thing in this world…is you. On the world’s last day, a deranged Nemesis fired the weapon of mass destruction “Punishment” all over the world.”

“…Inside Nemesis’ spirit was a ‘malice’ that sought destruction--one of the ‘gods’ that had once been locked up in the ark. The voice of her ‘other self’ that Nemesis heard was the ‘malice’ that slept inside her.”

Inside that ark, I had wished for the world’s destruction.

I suppose that meant that in a sense, after a thousand years I had finally achieved my original aim.

…Though it wasn’t all that satisfying now.

“The world was obliterated by ‘Punishment’. But how am I still—”

“Don’t you know? A demon contractor—can’t commit suicide. Your body was blown away by ‘Punishment’. However, as long as a single scrap of your flesh remains, you’ll be revived eventually.”

I had destroyed the world, and I alone survived.

“Never has there been a more bothersome suicide attempt.”

“Ha ha, I guess so. …Your body was reformed. But you hadn’t gone back to normal exactly. Your shattered heart wasn’t restored.”

“I don’t care much for your wording.”

“Then let’s reword it as ‘your body and spirit were separated’. Nemesis’ soulless body continued to wander through the empty world, and meanwhile the spirit locked itself up inside a delusion world of its own creation.”

So that delusion had been the laboratory in the clinic.

“But why did you come inside the delusion to meet me?”

“Nemesis’ body was solely devoted to repeating the last actions that she had taken. Wandering eternally through the same moment forever, neither moving into the past nor the future.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The world’s destruction by ‘Punishment’—Her body was trying to repeat it.”

“But…such a thing is impossible, isn’t it?”

If everything was destroyed then even ‘Punishment’ wouldn’t exist anymore.

“You’d think so. But even without ‘Punishment’ there’s still the thing it was based off of.”

“…The ‘Boy’.”

“Yes, the creature that brings destruction. Seth created various things with that as his starting point, such as ‘ghoul children’ and ‘Grim the End’. The ‘boy’ was also caught up in the world’s destruction, but…as a living creature he had a soul. That yet remains in the depths of Lunaca Labora—the ‘grave yard’.” Allen pointed to the ground. “Nemesis’ body went to the ‘grave yard’ looking for the ‘boy’’s soul, and tried to carry out her destruction once more. ...It took a great deal of effort to put a stop to her.”

“But there’s nothing left on the ground world to destroy, right?”

“The ‘boy’ as he is now is a soul. So then the targets of his destruction would be other souls like himself. If I hadn’t stopped Nemesis’ actions, then even the beings that wander the ground world like us would have been erased. Once that happened the world truly would have ended.”

“…I see.”

By ‘souls’ he was talking about spirit data.

“Even after capturing Nemesis that didn’t mean everything was settled. Without bodies ourselves we couldn’t hold her back forever.”

“So then you came to see me—Nemesis’ soul.”

“Yes. We needed to get her back to normal. …However, it wasn’t a straight-forward issue getting inside your spirit world. I had to satisfy various conditions. One among them was that I needed to disguise myself as ‘someone who existed in Nemesis’ memories’.”

“That’s why you were dressed as Postman.”

“Going as myself wouldn’t have cut it. I had met ‘Elluka Clockworker’ before, but ‘Nemesis’ was different. They’re based on the same person, but when you ‘swapped’ into Nemesis you lost your memories.”

But Allen hadn’t entered that spirit world alone.

I hadn’t seen them directly, but I could sense other people there.

--And I had another question as well.

“What was that ‘Irregular System’?”

“Well, that was a last resort to get you to remember everything. It was difficult for me to perform on my own, so I relied on some help.” Allen snapped his fingers. “—Elluka Clockworker’s apprentices.”

The two of them suddenly appeared from nowhere.

.

--Michaela, who had inherited Held’s remains and become a god of the forest.

--Gumillia, who had become Master of the Hellish Yard after the duel of Merrigod Plateau.

.

The two of them had always watched over me after I was reborn as Nemesis.

I spoke to a smiling Michaela, “So then, the true identity of the ‘Will of the Forest’—I know that now. You were the one who tried to save me.”

“Haha…Were you alright when it came to Lich?”

“In the end I never met him as Nemesis even once. Well, I have finally remembered…the connection between the two of you. Though I know to be cautious of him, to an extent.”

Next I approached Gumillia, expressionless as ever.

She was wearing a mask.

Yes, it was the mask of the “Demon of Wrath”.

“You’re the one who sent Mr. Ziz to me.”

“…Because I, couldn’t leave the Hellish Yard. But, frankly, he wasn’t much help. On the contrary, actually, he made things more complicated.”

I could hear a voice coming from the mask.

<But I did intend to follow your command? At the very least I upheld my promise to keep Nemesis from dying>

“That’s true. …Thank you for everything, Mr. Ziz—or rather, Seth,” I thanked the mask.

<…Hmph. You and I have an old debt with each other. Don’t think this makes us even>

“That’s my line. Come on, let’s set aside our quarrels for now.”

Michaela giggled as she watched us from the side.

“What’s so funny, Michaela?” I asked. Still smiling, Michaela handed me a mirror.

“Oh, it’s you and Gumillia. When you two are lined up like that you’re almost like twins.”

I accepted the mirror and looked at my face.

--Reflected there was no longer Levia.

It was Nemesis’ face.

That was proof that my body and spirit had once more become one.

“…Now that you mention it, is there a reason why Nemesis and Gumillia look so much like each other?”

Allen was the one to answer my simple question. “Events like that were occurring all over the world just before its destruction…Though asking the one who created the “World’s Rules” might be the fastest method for answering that, don’t you think?”

“You mean the sun god—Sickle.”

“He is currently in the ‘heavenly yard’. We can go there, but…I don’t know if we’ll be able to return to the ground world once we do. That’s why—there’s something I want to do here before then."

“I haven’t got any urgent business, so that’s fine…What is it?”

“There’s still many ‘mysteries’ left on the ground world. I’d like to solve them…and there are also some people I want to see. First—let’s head to ‘Evils Theater’.”

“…What do you mean? Are you saying that theater is still around?”

“Surprisingly, yeah. That alone is still around, despite the fact that everything else has burned down.”

That theater had also survived unscathed when the prototype “Punishment” was fired at the Millennium Tree Forest as well.

That was certainly a curious point.

“Will you come with me? L—Er, what name would you prefer I call you by?”

“It doesn’t matter to me. Levia, Elluka, Nemesis. The fact remains that all are me.”

When I said that, the other people around us started to voice their various opinions.

“Hmm, I think maybe her real name of Levia would be better.”

“…Elluka.”

<No, she’s Nemesis right now>

Listening to the three of them quibble from the side, I answered Allen, “—Alright. I’ll go with you. It’ll help me ‘kill time’, yeah?”

“Thank you very much. That’s reassuring.”

“But the world is already in ruins—What’s your ultimate goal here?”

When I asked him that, Allen replied, his expression full of self-confidence:

.

“Naturally—to save the world.”

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[ickle-ronniekins]

For your writing project about falling in and out of love: I fell in love with a friend (not a close one) I had known for about ten years and I had a crush on him for almost that long, yet I was always too shy to tell him. He was a year older than me and very funny and talented. I remember always laughing really hard at his jokes and when I look back at my favorite moments from high school and middle school (which were some of the darkest years of my life), a lot of them involve him. I always used to always tell myself I couldn’t possibly fall in love with him until after we at least started dating, but there was one day when I watched him perform a song on his acoustic guitar at a concert and it literally felt like we were the only two people in the room, even though it was packed full of people, and that was when I knew I had fallen hard. We were in a few musicals together and were cast as love interests a few times. Though we never kissed or anything for those roles, but I always loved being on stage with him and being able to hold his hand and say all those things that I secretly felt but was too shy to say to him. There were a lot of instances where I accidentally moved towards him during a scene when I was supposed to be standing still or a couple times when I almost kissed him during really charged moments between our characters. I remember once when I held his hand (the first time I did after realizing how I felt about him— there’s a lot of opportunities to hold people’s hands in theater!) I literally felt like fireworks were going off, the same way you feel when you kiss someone.

Part of the reason I never told him was because by the time I got close to working up the nerve, he had a girlfriend. To this day, she was one of the kindest people I have ever known. I didn’t want to disrupt anything because I really cared for them both and wanted them to be happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. I tried to get over him a few times when he was dating her but it was almost impossible whenever we would hang out with our friends, and I always wanted to be his friend if nothing else, so I would bury my feelings. Their relationship really wasn’t the best (they managed to bring out some of the worst aspects of one another) and broke up, but even then I couldn’t feel happy about it because I knew he was hurting and I didn’t want to make a move when I knew he was grieving his relationship. By the time I worked up the nerve again, he started dating a different girl and I felt like my heart had been smashed into a million pieces... but even then, I could seem to get over him. I would get drunk and cry about him at parties and I didn’t believe anyone who told me that I could do better or that I would meet someone better suited for me because it didn’t seem possible... and then the pandemic happened.

The pandemic put a barrier between us and was a very physical sign that made me slowly realize we would never happen as a couple, which was a difficult thing to comprehend. I have always been a romantic and believed in soulmates. By this point in my life, I had convinced myself that he was mine and that it was only a matter of time before we got together, and it was always really easy to slip back into that mindset whenever I saw him again, but with a pandemic disrupting everything, it was easier to actively resolve on getting over him— at first, it was more tabling the idea of getting together in the nearish future but resolving to be with him if things worked out much later in our lives, like in a very rom-comesque way. When I started committing to that, I slowly started to love myself more and realize I had incredibly low self esteem and had overlooked some of his more glaring flaws because I didn’t believe I could find someone who watched my exact standards. I began to understand that we were just also incompatible with one another— for example, I hate being late to the point of showing up incredibly early to things in order to avoid it, whereas he habitually shows up an hour late to just about everything with Starbucks; I always told myself that I could change him, which I know now was an unfair expectation. As time went on and I slowly realized my worth, I also came to realize that even if he were to ever ask me out, my answer would probably be no because I was now just a whole different person who had grown up.

But the falling out of love process was an incredibly painful one. I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights. Like I said, I really thought he was my soulmate and that we were really destined for one another, so when I understood that we weren’t, it made me cynical about the whole concept of love for a while because it felt like everything I had ever known about it wasn’t real and that I had been stupid for being so naïve. I was angry with myself for a while and angry at him, too, because I was hard for me to comprehend that I was falling out of love with someone who hadn’t done anything wrong. I had been so convinced that my love for him was so strong that it would take something monumental, like him suddenly revealing himself to be the antithesis of what I thought he was (ex. a cheater, abusive, racist, etc.) for it to ever shake, yet he hadn’t done anything. He occasionally made some poor decisions (like an ugly tattoo or smoking) but it wasn’t anything regarding his moral character that changed who he was. It was me who was really changing and maturing.

I’ve only seen him once since falling out of love, and there were still those lingering feelings of my teenage self lurking beneath the surface. It really threw me off and I found myself distracted by his hands as he played his guitar and my heart would beat fast when he would talk directly to me or blush, but I was more clear-headed than I have been in a long time, almost clinical. I was able to think through my answers to his questions without stammering them out and I was nowhere near as nervous as I once was around him. Part of it might just be my own growth, but certain things he did that I once would have been swooning over didn’t affect me at all. I was upset when I went home because I wasn’t as far along in my moving-on process as I wanted to be and I definitely cried to some sad songs that night, but in the end I was grateful for it because it felt like a check-in to gauge how far along I really was. Back then, I was still in sort of a “maybe one day” phase; now I’m in a “probably not”. I think there’s still a part of my teenage self inside of me yet that still loves, but every day that goes by, I feel less and less like her and more like an adult.

I still sort of feel cynical about love but the one thing that has helped me is reminding myself that I will fall in love again someday with someone who will love me back and he will be right for me. He’s not going to be a perfect person by any means but we will be more compatible. I know I haven’t met him yet but I am really excited to meet my person, even though for the first time in my life I’m enjoying being single. I’m also loving the person who I have become and all the growth I’ve made— for example, a month ago I would have cried while writing and reminiscing about all this, but I didn’t get teary once! As hard and as agonizing as it was at different points, I’m so glad all of it happened because it made me who I am today.

Sorry for writing an entire novel here, I hope it was useful for what you are writing! Have a wonderful day my lovely, I hope this helps you write whatever wonderful thing you are planning!!!! 💜💜💜

this. this is just about the most beautiful thing i have ever read. oh my goodness gracious.

can i tell you lovely anon, that i could physically feel your growth within every single word? the way you described your friendship with this boy in the beginning... it reminded me of how i felt about a boy when i was a teenager. i was head over heels for him, though i never admitted it to myself until years later, after we stopped talking. your feelings felt so genuine and pure and just about every lovely thing you’d expect from a teenage romance. and as i continued reading on through your story and found myself heartbroken for the both of you, i can see just how much you’ve grown -- not only in the sense of recognizing that he wasn’t the one and letting him go, but also realizing your own worth and what you want out of love.

i felt so deeply every ounce of your heartbreak. i remember the boy i loved was with someone the entire time we were friends. i met him when he was in a relationship and we stopped talking just a few months after they had broken up. they were together for years, and i loved him every single second of every single day. that was over ten years ago now. sometimes i think of him and wonder how i’d feel if i ever saw him again. sometimes i feel like a sixteen year old again when he creeps into my thoughts. the nerves sometimes trickle back too, but he’s married now. i didn’t realize it until after we had stopped talking, but i so desperately wanted to be with him, and i was broken for years afterwards realizing we never would be.

please, do not apologize for writing a novel. this is exactly what i was looking for. thank you for being brave and sharing your story with a complete stranger. i’m just in awe of you as a person and your outlook on love.

i have such a difficult time telling myself that i’ll find the right person and he’ll love me and i won’t have to doubt anything. it’s something i struggle with every single dang day. but your words have moved me. you absolutely will find the right person, and he’ll love you and every single thing about you, and you’ll remember this boy who you loved when you were young and remember why you two never ended up together... because the one you’re meant to be with is getting to you as fast as he possibly can.

UGH THIS IS EVERYTHING. it brought me back to years ago. thank you so very much for sharing. this was just so fucking gorgeous jegnolvadnsf i cannot.