#thecosmicjackalope

[the-trinket-witch]

💬

(CW: themes of misgendering, psychological torture, Death of a parent, and Aadesh being an unfiltered bastard)

"It’s a bit funny, really. The face of the one he hates, who destroyed the loves of his life, watching him. Imitating him. Pretending to be him. Looking at him while they rip away every last piece of his wife he still sees in them."

Aadesh Had Enough. Enough games, of keeping the visage of the polite counselor, of having Albert and the Prefect snooping through his business. And now, he had enough fun breaking down the young man who'd snuck into his office. He had Albert, pinned close in his tail and unable to call for help with the scarf now curled tight around his throat. The Doctor's grin only further split his face inhumanly wide with each attempt to wriggle free. That ancestral prey-drive made his tail clamp tighter, as he further wrenched the young man's arm up where he couldn't shove him.

"Do you really want to know what Jon sees when he looks at you?"

Claws dug into Albert's scalp. Their hold kept him from looking anywhere else but at that Seven-awful kaleidoscope in the Doctor's eyes. Far too late to try screwing his eyes shut. The magic compelled him to keep looking. As the Silver Mist rolled in over his mind, The mental images came flooding in.

A small curly-haired child tugging excitedly at a man's coat sleeve. That same child, experimenting with hairstyles, thoughtlessly fracturing their wrist in an overzealous attempt in learning to fly by umbrella. A teenager, 'surprising' their father with what remained of their previously beautiful head of hair, now shaven down in some attempt to look masculine. To look like him. That same child, sent to Royal Sword only at the blessing of his wife. St Winnifred's would have been better. That child that was supposed to be his, now unrecognizable as they slouched over Maria's hospital bed. Eyebags; something Jon was familiar with in his own reflection, making it now so much more difficult to see his wife in the face of 'Albert'. "Go home, get some rest. She'll be fine." There was that teen claiming to be his son at the funeral, quietly weeping in a suit that didn't fit. Like every child first trying on their parent's clothes. Just another chip taken off the memory of what Jon use to have, what he worked himself to the bone for every day. Every visit becoming another reminder of what he was losing; every memory becoming a grain of sand in a sieve. And Albert, in Jon's eyes, was actively jostling it, to make more memories slip through his fingers.

It didn't matter to Aadesh he'd only dropped Albert to theta-wave levels of brain activity; his spell had done its job. The dream-induced panic twisting the young man's face was a show in itself. But the show had to end before his next appointment. The Doctor reclaimed his scarf and adjusted his glasses as his tail let the man crash limply to the carpet.

"Ssstay. Out. of my. Business," Aadesh warned, crouching low even as Albert shuddered to his hands and knees. Al's glasses had fallen off, but through a sheen of tears he could still make out the Councelor's form strut back out the door.

And in a horrifying little coincidink, I had been meaning to subject Albert to The Hypnotic Horrors for a bit, so here's a little bit of that doodled out as lighting practice.

Taglist: (lemme know if you want added or removed)

@ceruleancattail @squidwen @thecosmicjackalope @vaporvipermedia@writing-heiress

@oya-oya-okay @k-looking-glass-house@thehollowwriter@rainesol @cyn-write

@heartscrypt@honey-milk-depresso @br3adtoasty @jackiecronefield @ruggiethethuggie

@demonichikikomori @hoboyherewego @achy-boo @oreoskys@oseathepebble

@tunabesimpin @hamstergal @fumikomiyasaki@valse-a-mille-temps

@hallowed-delights @kimikitti @plutos-hell @thetwstwildcard @atwstedstory

@comingyourlugubriousness @ice-cweam-sod4 @twst-the-night-away @nammanarin

[wildducktalestheories]

Humans are considered cryptids in the Ducktales universe

They’re the equivalent of unicorns and Bigfoot to some people, and Slenderman and other creepypasta monsters to others. Their lore is wide and varied, ranging from “sci fi type alien” to “government experiment conspiracy” to “ancient folklore from x mythology” and back round again. Some people are convinced that they are magic, others just think they’re a separate species - but everyone everywhere has heard stories of human beings in some way, shape or form.

You’ve basically got three types of people - those who don’t believe in them and dismiss their existence as nonsense, those who avidly believe in them and post theories and go to conventions/hunt for them, and those who use the legends and lore of human beings to scare campers during trips and and sell merch. Huey, Dewey and Louie are in each group respectively.

I like to think that Webby is a believer and deeply wishes to meet one in real life, Launchpad is deeply afraid of them, Beakley and Duckworth think they’re bunk, Scrooge and Donald think they’re bunk but would be open to the idea of them existing, and Team Science will believe them when they see them.

[fortuneaday]

Hello and good morning! I had a rather disconcerting dream last night. I was hoping maybe one of your fortunes would give me some wisdom? 🔮 🌙 ✨

You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.

[systlin]

Hey! I had a question about Odin. Would he be considered a trickster god? I’ve heard some people say that he could be considered one but it’s something I’m not familiar with. Can you explain that to me please if he is one?

Odin is ABSOLUTELY a trickster. He trickstered so hard that he trickstered his way to the top of the pantheon and into the throne and then trickstered so hard that some people forgot he is a trickster. 

[betareaderwanted]

Looking for a trans beta reader

Fandom: Xiaolin Showdown

Ship: Canon/Canon/OC Ot3

Rating: T

Warnings: There’s a lot, but they’re all listed under the warnings on my ao3.

Status: (in progress, currently on Chapter 9)

Hi! I’m looking for a beta reader who can help give me insight on writing a specific character for my fan fiction. One of the main characters in my fic, my OC, is a trans girl, and I would appreciate a trans beta reader to help me write her and fine tune her backstory and character arc.

I have found a lot of helpful resources on the internet for writing a trans character, but as it stands, I am still cis, and I lack a certain perspective on a number of issues. I would really love if a member of the trans community could help give me advice on writing my OC so she’s as realistic and respectful and relatable as possible. I don’t want to misrepresent anyone, or perpetuate harmful stereotypes, or disappoint any of my readers who are themselves trans. I just want to write an amazing character and an even more amazing story. And I need some help.

If you’re interested in helping me with this, please send me a message and we can move on From there! Thank you for your time!

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

Do you know if Hermes likes chocolate? Or cinnamon whiskey like Fireball? I know the traditional offerings like honey, wine, olive oil, coffee and strawberries, but what other foods, possibly more modern foods, does Hermes like? PS thank you for your blog, it’s really great 🙏

Yes on the chocolate and fireball whiskey, those are right up His alley. As far as modern foods, here are some ideas! ♥️

Thank you, I’m glad you like this blog!

[shiftythrifting]

you're always posting unusual, amusing or "cursed" finds, but what's the coolest thing you've ever found or bought from a thrift shop?

There’s so many things I can’t even nail the best one down right now, but recently I have very much been enjoying this cookbook.  We use it regularly.

[victorluvsalice]

I haven’t read all of your fan fictions yet, so if I missed important info, I’m sorry, but - if Victor married Alice, do you think he’d go by “Victor Liddell” or “Victor Van Dort-Liddell?” I know women took their husband’s name in that era and that the Van Dort name has a prestigious ring to it because of his dad’s company, but Victor knows how important Alice’s family was to her. I think it would be very in-character for him to keep their memory alive by taking their name as his own.

Huh, I never thought of them hyphenating it before. . . Anyway, I’m in favor of Victor taking Alice’s last name -- his family name may be prestigious, but he doesn’t have a very close connection to it, or his parents. In fact, in a lot of my AUs, their relationship just gets even more strained over time. And, as you note, he’s sensitive to how important Alice’s family is to her, and how she’d like to keep them close. In any more modern AU where they got married, he’d happily become Victor Liddell officially (and damn the consequences from his parents).

In the Victorian ones, though. . .I guess the problem is, I’m not sure how they’d go about doing that officially. As far as I know, that sort of thing didn’t happen in that time period, and they might run into legal issues -- or people just saying “no, that’s wrong, the woman takes the man’s name” -- if they tried. I suppose there’s always bribery, but. . .as I’ve got it set up, Alice just takes Victor’s name in those verses, assuring him she’s really okay with it (because, Victor being Victor, he does feel kind of guilty). And he’s probably referred to as “Victor Liddell” more casually with friends (that certainly pops up enough in the RPing I do with him). Perhaps later on they find a way to change the family name. . .

[gallusrostromegalus]

thecosmicjackalope replied to your photoset “Tonight’s dinner is so many fucking appetizers.”

Legit question, and I know I’m a total stranger but just hear me out - what does elk bratwurst taste like?

they taste like elk!

Ok, joking aside, Elk Brats are 60% ground elk and 40% ground pork because elk is very lean and needs the extra fat or it gets tough and bland and sad.  Elk itself tastes mostly like more tart, gamey beef. These were spiced with rosemary, nutmeg and black pepper, very tasty!

[thevalicemultiverse]

Just for funsies, what are your zodiac signs? Not Western Zodiac - CHINESE zodiac.

Londerland Bloodlines Alice: [ready to answer this question like the last one -- then pauses and looks at her compatriots] Ah -- which set of us? We've got birthdates ranging from mid-Victorian times to the future, and the Chinese one is the one that depends on birth year, not birth month.

((Mun skids in here: Actually apparently that's only the first layer according to Wikipedia, but for simplicity's sake we'll go with the "birth year" thing that most Westerners seem to be familiar with. As for your question, I'm only doing the verses where I know for SURE the birth year -- "Cuddlepile" and "Inevitable High School" kind of work on the "comic book time/it's always the present and they don't really age" principle, and "Aperture Wage Slave" I never nailed down an exact year, it's just "when Aperture was a functioning company (barely)." That leaves:

The Victorians: "Forgotten Vows," "Catch Us If You Can," and "Technicolor Phase" all have Victor and Alice born in 1855. Some online research suggests this is the year of the Rabbit.

"Secundus," on the other hand, have the pair born in 1860, as everything in that verse is pushed forward five years (because A:MR takes place in 1875, BTTF III takes place in 1885, I decided when pressed to put a year on the fic to meet in the middle). This is the year of the Monkey.

The Near Past and Nearish Future: "Londerland Bloodlines" has Victor and Alice born in 1984. This is the year of the Rat.

"Fallout of Darkness" gets a little more interesting -- Alice, still being the Bloodlines Fledgling, keeps her birth year of 1984 and thus her Rat zodiac animal. This Victor, however, is the Sole Survivor, and was born in 2050. I had to calculate this one out -- fortunately the Wikipedia article goes out to 2043-2044 by year, so it was just a matter of counting up from there. If I've done this correctly, he was born in the year of the Snake.

So -- yeah. Turns out this was probably a bit more complicated than you were expecting, huh?

Oh, and if you want to know mine -- Tiger, I was born very late in 1986.))

[ducktales-crackships]

Donald Duck x The Horrible Goose from Untitled Goose Game 

Requested by @thecosmicjackalope who said “They both have a lot of rage to work out and neither of them take anyone’s crap. Power couple of the century.”

[the-trinket-witch]

1, 5 and 13 from the Will Wood Ask Meme for Eugenio your Yuusona plz and ty

(Ask Meme Here)

Self-: Who was your OC up until 'now'? (when they are introduced to your story)

Eugenio Rosario Yaotl Hernandez was a 16yr old American highschooler before coming to Twisted Wonderland. They had lived in Texas and had a stint on their Grand-Uncle's ranch in Monterey, MX before living in Alameda, California. They never really found themselves making a lotta friends if their own age group, as a lot of their tastes in music and film are a bit...dated for someone their age. (They blame growing up with mostly old folks for that). Before they came to Twisted Wonderland, they already had a love for architecture, mostly Art Deco and Brutalist. They don't know what that says about them.

Um, It's Kind of a Lot: (For Shipping) If your OC has an S/O, what is something in their relationship that they are afraid of (behavior, scenarios, etc)

The short time they thought they loved Malleus in a romantic way: the inevitable conclusion. They would grow old, die, and rip a part of Malleus' heart out with it. And that snowballed into the fear of what might come after: that Malleus will just constantly break his own heart over fascination with humans or other shorter lived partners. Becoming lovers for the Draconic equivalent of 5-6 years while they age and mature while he stays more or less the same physically and maturely. They've come to fear being anything more than a friend would ruin Malleus more than anything.

...Well, Better than the Alternative: Describe a flaw your OC hopes their S/O can look past, as well as something about said S/O they can look over.

They hope they can be at least partly forgiven for some of the Old Fashion stuff they enjoy, but moreso they hope they can be seen not as some hoity-toity for how they act when it comes to maturity. Eu has began to deconstruct their issue of 'believing and acting like they are older or more mature than their peers just because they were raised by older people'. While it has in the past (and in TW) landed them with positions of authority, they are very much not more mature than anyone else their age.

They can look over intense emotions. Not to say they ignore them, but if someone is upset and they have to yell about it? If it isn't directed at them, they're not going to cower or ask they tone it down. Same with excitement-no one likes people who tell others to curb their enthusiasm.

Taglist:

@ceruleancattail @squidwen @thecosmicjackalope @vaporvipermedia@writing-heiress

@oya-oya-okay @k-looking-glass-house@thehollowwriter@rainesol @cyn-write

@heartscrypt@honey-milk-depresso @br3adtoasty @jackiecronefield @ruggiethethuggie

@demonichikikomori @hoboyherewego @achy-boo @oreoskys@oseathepebble

@tunabesimpin @hamstergal @fumikomiyasaki@valse-a-mille-temps

@hallowed-delights @kimikitti @plutos-hell @thetwstwildcard @atwstedstory

@comingyourlugubriousness @ice-cweam-sod4 @twst-the-night-away @nammanarin

[wildducktalestheories]

Djinn’s actually a really good artist

Assuming that he was the one who did the illustration of himself holding the lamp on his scroll, he likes art and is good enough at it to do really beautiful detailed illustrations. He’ll sketch things like places he’s been and things he’s seen, but he’s also very good at portraits and people.

It’s something he keeps private though, unlike his swordsmanship or archery skills. Despite his skills he’s very shy about it and gets flustered when people catch him doing it.

[bronan]

HELLO???????? @thecosmicjackalope​

The Tory power stance is a human body position notably adopted by members of the British Conservative Party. The posture consists of standing with the legs spread wide apart and the upper body relaxed.[1][2][3] The position has been described colloquially as "the Beyoncé",[4] the stance has also been called the "Tory power pose" and "the John Wayne".

SIMON???

[in-words-of-what-maybe]

i got taged

               Getting to know people                                                        

@crimson-snowfall and @missjudge-me tagged me, so here we go…

Rules: Tag 20 people you’d like to know better, and wrangle invite them into to answering the questions below

Nickname: Lene short for Marlene not many people use it.

Gender: female

Starsign: Capricorn, hell yeah baby, ascendent Libra and moon sign is Aries

Height: 171

Hogwarts House:not much into it but i bet its slythrin

Favorite Animal: cats my furry babies, i dont have one now cause the death of my beautiful baby boy 2 years ago broke my heart.

Number of blankets: all the blankets, the heavier the better even in summer

Where I’m from: Portugal, my beloved country, currently living in the west midlands England. Right where C S Lewis and Tolkien used to get shitfaced and talk shit to eachother

When I started this account: i’m a tumblr fossil, it was nearly the beginnings of times, i was young and innocent...not really just younger.

Why I started this account:beside deviantart it was the only place i could find the kind of stuff i liked and now it allowed me to find some amazing artists and fic writters. Thank you a thousand time for making my life brighter.

A big thank to all ya lovelys for making my life a whole lotta more interesting, love ya babes all of ya.

Tagging: imma probably gonna be retagging lots of people but just know that y’all are luved. @engine-red @pudbun @inbedwithpreussen @thecosmicjackalope @silverstarletsandthenight @venulus @ikesensrandomninjagirl @nad-zeta @cailannuesugi @pokolravalo @suklaahaltia @tsubaki3192 @r-f-a-journalists

[thecosmicjackalope]

Hi, tumblr staff.

@staff

Hey there. I am thecosmicjackalope and I am a user on your site. I’m not sure if I’m speaking to one individual or if there’s more than one person reading this right now, so excuse me if the wording gets weird at times but either way I’m tagging this because I’ve been reading a few posts that have been floating around this site - posts about how few of you there are and how the job affects you - and after thinking about what was discussed on them, and doing some self reflection, I wanted to reach out to you because I have a message for you all that I do want you to see.

I want to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for yelling at you through posts and reblogs and memes and generally being an ass to you whenever I got frustrated with the site and how it’s been run. I’m sorry for blaming you when things go south. I’ve done it a lot, and I haven’t been nice about it. And that behavior is bullshit because in the end, you’re just doing your job. You don’t control everything. You don’t always call the shots. You are people too. You have feelings just like me. You don’t deserve the abuse I have contributed in towards you, or any abuse thrown your way. You as a person and individual, and all the other tumblr staff members you work with deserve better.

I’m old enough to know that “sorry” doesn’t make up for all the stress and utter bullshit I, or anyone else, has put you through with my vitriol and bastardry, and I’m not asking for forgiveness or anything because frankly, I don’t deserve it and I’m not entitled to that. In no way do you owe me anything. But I want you to know that what you do is important to me because it’s through your hard work and effort that I can even communicate this to you at all. I can’t imagine what you have to do on a daily basis, what your job truly entails, what it does to you and takes from you, and that’s not even going into your personal life and what troubles you have there or amazing things you do then. But I know you do your best, or want to do your best, and I know that love it or leave it, this site wouldn’t run without you. And as frustrating as it can be at times, I love this site and a lot of the people on it.

@staff Thank you for what you do. Thank you for your time and effort and hard work. Thank you for the hours you put in and the elbow grease it takes to make all of this happen. I’m sorry if what I’ve done or said in the past has ever sent any of you home feeling hollow inside, or left a bad taste in your mouth, or otherwise harmed you in any way. I cannot change the pat but from now on I will make an effort to be kinder and more patient, because as people and fellow humans, you don’t deserve anything less. You never have, and you never will.

Thank you for your time,

thecosmicjackalope