#there is always a young naive boy who thinks he can change the world

[inkybinkyboink]

holy fucking shit i finally Get It. i finally Get urinetown. i get what little sally says when she says "urinetown is here", it's because urinetown is a world where everything wrong with society is placed into one box. what's interesting about this, and this is what makes it so intrinsically Brechtian, is the fact that even though urinetown is conceptual, it's still inherently society, because all of the conflict in the story stems from real life issues.

[cherriegyuu]

memories of us | lsm

pairing: seokmin x f!reader - soulmate!au summary: every night seokmin dreams of his past lifes, when he met and fell for his soulmate countless times. genre: fluff, angst word count: 11.9k warnings: reader has really low self esteem a/n: this is not, in any way, connected to elevator. both stories are centered around soulmates, however the rules are different. in elevator people carry marks that vanish from their bodies once they meet their soulmate, here is the bond is created by eye contact. i hope you enjoy it :)

Today, when I woke up, the first thing I thought about was you, but that’s not something new. You’re always the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last one before I go to sleep. My mind is consumed by thoughts of you the entire day. There’s not a single minute when you don’t make your presence noticed,  even if you’re not really here by my side. The funny thing is that I haven’t met you yet and somehow you are the only one in my mind. 

I started to dream of you when I was sixteen. At the time I had no idea of what was going on, I didn’t know what Memorous were, and I couldn’t even phantom why I was dreaming of an older version of myself. I was young and the naive teenager version of me thought that it was something everyone goes through. Ah, maybe these are memories from my past lives. I was right about that part, but I didn’t know the length of what was going on with me. 

It was only a month later when I told anyone about it. Because those dreams were something no one ever mentioned around me before, so I was afraid to speak about them. What if, because of those dreams, people started to label me as a freak? I had already a very negative reputation, so to say, I didn’t want to make it worse. When I finally mustered the courage to talk to someone about it, I figured that I should tell my mom about it. She was a mother, my mom, and like all moms she would probably know what to do. 

She didn’t. 

For a while, she just sat there and stared at me, not like I was a freak but as if I had become a stranger. I was no longer Lee Seokmin, her eldest son who on most days seemed like the youngest. I saw her eyes change that day, from a mother who loved her son to a woman who didn’t know who the boy in front of her was.  

It was also the first time that someone told me that I was cursed.  

None of us could be sure whether I was cursed or not, but she said it with so much belief that I knew that it had to be true. 

I don’t think I have ever felt so alone. Before my mother said those words to me, those words that would be forever stuck in my brain, you are cursed, Seokmin, and there’s nothing any of us can do to change that, I used to be normal - or as normal as a sixteen-year-old hyperactive boy could be. But the second those words were uttered, released into the world, something inside me changed.   

I think that the best way to describe it would be a click, I felt a click inside my heart. There’s no other word I could use to describe it. 

After everything that happened in the span of minutes, I changed. I started to be more restricted, no one else in the world knew about the dreams or about me being a Memorous. My circle of friends got smaller and smaller. What if, by accident, I told one of them something about the dreams, about you? That couldn’t happen. 

In reality, I didn’t have many friends. You know, the kind you tell secrets to and are really close to. Those were the kinds of people that I wanted to avoid at all costs. I wasn’t a loner, though. I had people I could hang out with, people that I would go to a bar or a club with, but I liked to be alone. 

It’s weird, isn’t it? I had friends but I wasn’t actually friends with any of them. I wasn’t a loner but the thing I enjoyed the most was being alone. 

When I turned eighteen and high school was finally over, I moved away from home. For two years I saved every cent that I could, my main goal was to just leave. I studied my eyes off in school so I could get into a university that was as far away as possible from home. I needed to get a scholarship so I wouldn’t need to ask for help from my parents. 

Doing those two things made me feel somewhat proud of myself. It was like I was telling them see just because you think I’m cursed doesn’t mean that I can’t do what I want. 

 Let me explain to you how the dreams work: every night I dream of you, no exception but every night is a different life. 

This is how Memorous must live. I remember every single thing about our past lives, all the details that people usually forget about their lives. I remember them, more or less. I know what you were wearing on April 18th, 1811; I know what was the first word you said to me in Madrid, it was a curse by the way; the first time we bonded.  

Sometimes it feels so real that I think if I look by my side, I’ll see you there. That couldn’t be true, I haven’t seen you in this lifetime - I would never be able to let you go if I had. 

There’s a trick about being a Memorous though. Once I fall asleep and dream of a different life everything I dreamed the night before vanishes and I can’t remember anything. At first, I thought that it happened like that because sometimes we forget about the dreams we have. It was as if it simply vanished from my mind, and I could only remember it when I dreamt of the same life again. It’s like a selective memory kind of thing. 

You know, the feeling of a dream being so real that you could either wake up in panic or just really happy and satisfied? 

For me, every dream was like that. If I held your hand in my dream, when I woke up I would still get the feel of your skin against mine; if we fought for whatever reason I would still feel the sadness and the anger lingering in my body. 

When I understood what was happening, I started to write down the dreams, every little detail that I could remember. Slowly I started to find a pattern in the dreams, slowly I learned to tell the lives apart and so I started notebooks. It’s a little weird, I know, but I had to keep track of our lives. Maybe, at some level, you might think that I’m crazy or that I’m a stalker. But could it be considered stalking when it’s my own life? 

I can’t wait to meet you.  Although I haven’t actually met you or even seen you this time around, I feel like I have known you all my life. Is this the feeling we’ll get when we finally meet, this feeling of fullness? 

I wonder if you feel that too. 

Out of all our lives together I have a favorite one. I mean, it is expected, isn’t it? After such a long time of living countless lives, every day being a different person - although I’m ultimately the same - we are bound to have a favorite one. 

If I do say so myself that life is very much Shakespearean. Okay, so imagine this: two families who were very powerful but were opposites and hated each other with a burning passion. And there you have it. Sounds very much like Romeo and Juliet, doesn’t it? Maybe if it happened a couple hundred years earlier, in England, then maybe I could say that we actually inspired him, but we happened far too late. 

You know, I still remember the first time I saw you that time around. I think that maybe that bond was the strongest one we’ve had, probably because we were supposed to hate each other. The idea of an unexpected bond between two opposite families is kind of thrilling, isn’t it? 

We met at a party. Because our families couldn’t even stand to be in the same space together, mostly our dads - why is it always the dads though? -, they send you and me to represent the families. As you can probably imagine, we had no idea of what the other person looked like. 

So, there I was walking inside this immense ballroom, and you were the first person I saw. Looking at you I just knew that you were out of place, that kind of environment wasn’t one you felt comfortable in. At that point, you weren’t looking at me but when you finally did, it was like the entire world stopped. I felt my heart thump inside my chest, but I could feel you too. I saw as you went wide-eyed. You took a step closer to me but then, realizing what you did, you took a couple of steps back. For the entire night, we didn’t approach each other but my eyes never left yours, as yours never left mine. 

We followed each other through the night.  I got angry, really angry, when someone wanted to talk to me because all I wanted to do was look at you. Whenever my feelings changed, I would feel yours changing too. You felt mostly curiosity. How could this man, someone you had never seen before, catch your attention in such a way that you couldn’t look at anything or anyone else? 

Back then it wasn’t like today, you know. The bond happened more quietly, or maybe we only thought it did. Though the bond is something that has been around since the beginning of time, we only found out about it much later in life. I suppose that back then we still didn’t know much about it. Maybe the change everyone felt around a couple that was bonding was there but because we didn’t know what it was supposed to be we just overlooked it. 

Back to the story. 

You were the first one to make a move to leave but I couldn’t let you go, no way. I followed you out and much to my own surprise you were waiting for me, because somehow you knew that I had to go after you. We didn’t say much, just promised to meet each other a couple of days later. 

From that moment on, things took off, or as much as you could possibly expect from a couple in the early nineteen century. We would always meet each other. Everything was exciting because no one could know about what we were doing. Besides the whole ‘my family hates yours’ problem that we had, there was also the problem that both of us were promised to other people. You were supposed to marry a young Duque and I had to marry the daughter of a rich family. If we were against it before, imagine what it was like after we found out about how we felt for each other. 

Our happiness didn’t last very long. We were careless and, although we were trying to hide it, we weren’t as stealthy about it as we liked to imagine. 

It’s needless to say that when our families found out they were far from happy. They didn’t try to kill us or anything that dramatic, but they started to rush things. Your marriage that was supposed to happen only a year later was set to two weeks later; mine was happening in a few days. Of course, neither of us accepted that. 

On the night before my wedding, I felt something trying to pull me. It was like my legs were moving on their own and I saw myself walking out of the house and into the city. I found you there, all alone in the middle of the street, staring at the church I was supposed to get married in. I realized then that the sadness I felt was only partially mine, a lot of it was coming from you. I didn’t really understand how it was possible for me to feel everything that you were feeling but I knew that there wasn’t another explanation for it. 

You couldn’t control your emotions and tears were running down your cheeks, you tried hard to push them aside, but it was of no use. The more you tried to make the tears stop the more they fell. I couldn’t control myself by then. You were afraid when my arm went around you but once you knew that it was me you turned in my arms. The tears that ran down your face were no longer out of pain and hurt, they were because we were finally reunited. 

We ran away. We didn’t take anything with us. There was no time to go home and get clothes, or say goodbye. We were sure that if we were together then everything would be alright. Because we had each other nothing in the world nothing could hurt us. 

That's… that’s as far as the dreams go. I’d like to think that we had a happy ending. 

 Two years into college I finally understood what my mom meant when she said that I am cursed. 

You see, the dreams I have at night are just fragments, tiny little pieces of an entire puzzle. I could only see a day or a week, at most. But the thing is that I only saw us young, meeting, starting the bond, falling in love. Not once did my dreams show us a little older, getting married, having kids, or even if things didn’t work between us. I never dreamed of those things. 

At first, my guess was that the dreams were trying to show me a way to get to you, find you in a world that’s filled with billions of people. That wasn’t the case. 

One night I dreamed of you dying. I woke up in despair. Instead of the sweet dreams, filled with warm touches and whispered words, I faced images of you surrounded by blood, a lifeless body in my arms. 

For a while I wanted to make myself believe that it was just a nightmare, that it would eventually go away but I knew it wasn’t that simple, nothing ever is. 

I kept seeing the same thing for days and every day it got worse and worse. It got to the point where I stopped sleeping at all. Every time I closed my eyes I could see your body on the ground, eyes wide open. I knew that it wasn’t true, but I felt like you were looking at me, like you blamed me for your death. 

I searched it up. If the same thing happened to other Memorous I wanted to know how to make it stop, if I could even do something like that. From task number one I had problems. 

For one, Memorous doesn’t like to be clear about it, we are heavily judged by it because no one understands what it is like to be one. Most people just think that we are making a fuss over nothing, that knowing what your soulmate looks like, what that person likes and dislikes makes it much easier to find the person you are supposed to bond with. What they don’t know is that, like everyone else in the world, people’s taste, personalities and all else changes. In one of your lives, you were a dancer, the stage was your home, and being watched by people was something you thrived off of but in the next one you were a shy girl who couldn’t bear the thought of people looking at her (this actually happened, just so you know). 

Second, there aren’t many Memorous in the world. We are considered an anomaly, there are very few of us. I believe that we will only be able to understand why we are born this way when a scientist is born as a Memorous. 

But not everything is a lost hope! God bless the people who aren’t scared to share their stories because they want to help other people. I found this post, on a very weird and hard to find website, saying that there is a way to break this ‘curse’. That’s the good news. The bad news is that it’s not up to us to end the cycle. Well, technically it is but it’s not a choice that we can make. It’s confusing, I know. 

Apparently, the only way for us to stay together for a long time is if both of us are born Memorous, meaning that you and I must know our past lives. The one who wrote the post was a young boy, claiming that it was his grandparents’ story and that both of them were still alive and fine. 

It’s not much but at least it’s something. I can’t help but wonder if this time around you already know who I am. 

I saw you today, or at the very least I thought that I did. I looked at my right and you were right there! Your eyes went anywhere but me, it was like you were purposely trying to avoid me. I went after you, called after you (even though I don’t know what you’re called in this life). It seemed that you were running away from me, though I’m sure that wasn’t the case. How could you run from someone you don’t know? 

On days like this, I think I’m starting to lose my mind. The dreams are starting to feel more real than ever, and I don’t know what to do. Is it because we are getting closer to each other? Maybe we are in the same city? I hope so. 

I’ve hoping for something, just a tiny signal, for the longest time. Was today it? I think about seeing you, how the dreams are now just a repeat of all the first meetings before, how every day when I wake up I have a feeling inside my heart telling me that we are getting closer to each other. 

Are we? Does this mean that we are getting closer? 

Maybe this is the universe’s way of letting us know. Because our lives, all of them, have been so messed up that this is fate’s way of apologizing for all the crap that it put us through. 

I’m going to find you soon. Hopefully, wherever you are you’re also looking for me and that will probably make our lives that much easier. 

You closed the journal and put it aside. You managed to hold yourself back while reading, you didn’t want the tears in the back of your eyes to fall on the pages, the precious pages that told your story through Seokmin’s eyes. 

It had been hard to come to terms with the idea, the fact, that he was your soulmate but over the years you became more and more used to it. Your lives were too different, your backgrounds complete opposites, and yet - somehow - you were it for each other. 

The first time you saw him on TV, you clearly remembered how you felt. It was as if someone had just punched you in the chest. On the other side of the tiny screen was the boy - now the man - you had been dreaming about for years of your life. You never thought that you would find him, especially so soon but then again if you thought about all your dreams, both of you seemed young - maybe even younger than your 25 years. 

You stayed away from the TV for about a month after that, but you knew that it wouldn’t last much longer than that. The entire time Seokmin was in the back of your mind, always making sure that you wouldn’t forget him. That was simply something that would never happen, you forgetting about him - even if that was one of the many things that you wanted to do. Eventually, you found yourself turning the TV on again, watching every single program, every video, and buying any magazine that featured him. 

Thinking back at it, you felt sort of stupid for doing those things and not just trying to look for him. You were right, your soulmate was Seokmin but your own insecurities were holding you back. Out of everything you had, there was one problem you considered to be major: you had nothing to offer him. 

You were the kid no one wanted, the kid that had been tossed into an orphanage at the age of eight, and no one had gone back to take claim. Like a monkey on a tree, you moved from house to house without a chance of staying, even the prospect of making friends didn’t exist. 

Growing up you always dreamed of meeting your soulmate, imagined the way you would finally meet the other person. In your mind you were always the hotshot, someone who could make anything happen with a simple word. As you got older you wanted to just live a decent life but all you had was a shitty rented apartment in a sketchy area of the city, a shower that didn’t run with hot water, and were living paycheck by paycheck. 

That wasn’t the life you wanted, it was a life that you were almost embarrassed over. How could you ever share a life with someone when you could hardly sustain yourself? That wasn’t possible. 

But then it happened. You got dragged by your friend to go to the TV station and watched as Seokmin recorded a program. Jun said that he wouldn’t notice you, that you would sit far in the back, and you could put your bangs down and cover your eyes so there wouldn’t be a single chance of the bond happening. 

It was a lie, you knew that. Jun lied straight to your face, and you let yourself fall for it. You couldn’t say no to him, much less to his kids. Hana was so excited about it. Watching Seokmin on TV was her favorite thing in the world, more than dancing or watching cartoons. He’s pretty and funny, my soulmate has to be just like him, she said. It was funny and endearing to watch. Sometimes you just wanted to meet Seokmin because of her, because she was so in love with him. The day you decided to take a step forward was also the day you took eleven steps back. 

“Are excited?” Jun bumped his shoulder into yours and smiled. 

He could be the kind of person your silly heart would fall for if there weren’t any soulmates. Jun was essentially a good person, with a heart made of gold and filled with so much love that his kids would never go a day in life thinking that he didn’t love them. 

“No" yet another lie. 

You were excited, a little too excited. Or maybe your excitement was actually just fear. Fear that the bond might happen, fear that Seokmin would be disappointed in who you were, fear that maybe your dreams would come true. 

“You said that Seokmin is pretty” Hana called out. 

A moment of weakness that you regretted. 

“Handsome, honey. Boys are handsome” 

She repeated the word a few times as if trying to memorize but everyone knew that she would just keep calling boys pretty. 

“Why are you carrying her around like she’s three?” 

Hana sighed and hugged Jun’s neck, her head on his shoulder. 

“I’m daddy’s little girl” 

Jun looked like he was about to cry and Hanbin just groaned, his sister’s act wasn’t something that he was too fond of. You could only smile at them. They were almost too cute for you to handle. 

You were one of the first people to get in so there were still a lot of empty spots to choose from. The second you and Jun started to move towards the back Hanbin and Hana protested.  Of course, they didn’t want to sit in the back. Besides being kids, and too short to be able to see anything, both liked Seokmin so being too far away was not something that they wanted. In the end, you caved. You couldn’t say no to two kids who were doing the puppy eyes at the same time. 

As minutes went by and the studio got filled with people you started to get nervous. You ran your sweaty hands on your jeans trying to get them dry, but it was useless. Every person who walked inside made your heart skip a beat because you thought that it could be him. It never was. The scared part of your brain told you that it was a good thing, that maybe he wouldn’t show up at all, but the other part, the one that wanted to see him in person just once, told you to just wait a little longer because he was going to show. 

You waited, for over an hour and there was no sign of him. You knew that in this kind of event it could take them a while to get everything sorted but you were told that it shouldn’t take long once you all went inside. 

“Stop,” Jun said, his hand on your arm “Don’t overthink it" 

He was smiling at you kindly. It was the kind of smile that was supposed to calm you down and reassure you and yet all it did was make you even more nervous. 

“What if we bond?” 

“Then you’ll deal with it later” 

What if I don’t know how to deal with it? 

When people started to scream you looked up and saw the host walking in. He talked for a couple of minutes, made a few jokes trying to be funny and then he introduced Lee Seokmin, a TV personality. The crowd went crazy, there was a girl behind you screaming so loud that you thought you’d go deft. 

Seokmin walked in, his characteristic smile in place, as he waved at the audience. 

Seeing him in person made the world slow down, even your own heart. Instead of going crazy, your heart nearly stopped, as the sight of Seokmin put you at ease. Your hands were no longer shaking, you didn’t feel like trying to hide yourself anymore. In fact, seeing him made your soul scream at you it’s him, what are you waiting for? Your soul was begging you to go to him. After all, it knew him, because despite being apart for years it recognized him immediately. 

And then Seokmin looked at you. 

His eyes were on yours as he stood frozen there. You could feel him everywhere. He was shocked, surprised, caught off guard, hopeful, and just so happy. His happiness was contagious because inside you felt happy too. You wanted to stand up and hug him, stay as close as possible to him. The fear you felt for years was momentarily forgotten in the back of your mind. 

Your legs moved before you could even realize what you were doing. You stood up and walked to him, stopping only a couple of steps away from him. You felt his heartbeat like it was just under your skin. Being so close to him made your body tingle in the best way possible. Your entire being was begging you to just take another step, just one closer to him, just so you could touch him and feel him all around you. 

When Seokmin moved forward, his hand raised ready to touch you - just like you wanted to do - you took a step back. Suddenly the realization of what could happen came crashing down around you. Your dreams, and images of Seokmin lying lifeless on the floor that had been engraved in your mind were unexpectedly in your eyes. You could see it coming, your downfall, and the things you dreaded the most, happening. 

“I…” 

Seokmin wanted to say something, anything, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to. What words could he possibly profess that would make the fear running through your body go away? 

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this" 

Turning around and walking away from him might have been the hardest thing you ever did. 

You tried your best to keep living normally but it was close to impossible. Every second that went by you were reminded of Seokmin, of the broken look on his face when you walked away, of the way he felt like he had somehow done something wrong. And he felt unloved when it was supposed to be just the other way around. Even before the bond, before you had the chance to look at him in the eyes, you already had feelings for him. Perhaps it was because you knew that you were supposed to love him, you knew that once you met him your feelings would be unstoppable, or it was just because he was charming. 

And just how charming he was. 

You didn’t know one single person who disliked him, someone who would flat-out say that there was nothing good to like about him. Everyone loved Seokmin, his easy smile and friendly eyes pulled everyone in. 

“Until when are you going to keep avoiding him?” 

Jun had become the personification of what was happening inside of you. You wanted to meet Seokmin, desperately. You wanted to find out where he was and just go to him, introduce yourself, and just talk to him. Everything seemed so simple inside your mind, and in Jun’s as well, but it was so far from it. 

“You’re just avoiding it, you know that” 

“So, what if I am? I’m sorry if I don’t want to see my soulmate die!” 

You weren’t angry at your friend or even Seokmin, as he would feel sometimes. You were just angry at everyone else, at the world, at destiny, at anyone in the world who decided that it was a good idea to make you see your soulmate die every night. 

“I know that, but wouldn’t it be better if you could spend some time with him? Let’s say that you’ll have six months together, that’s it. No more and no less. Don’t you want to be with him for as long as you possibly can instead of keep hiding in here?” Jun moved his hand showing the lounge of his dance school “Think of all your past lives, about how happy you were because you were with Seokmin. In this life too, shouldn’t you be able to feel that kind of happiness?” 

Jun was the only person who knew that you were Memorous and he was also the only person who would say that there was nothing wrong with it. You aren’t cursed. If you ask me, you are one of the lucky ones. I would anything to have more memories with Seol. He was also the kind of friend who wasn’t scared to say that you were messing up your own life, that you were doing something wrong. Most days he would act like the dad you never had. You were grateful for him, for having someone so eager to make sure that you were happy. 

“Here’s a wild scenario” Jun smiled at Hana, who was running to him, as he stood up “Seokmin doesn’t die" 

His words left you speechless as you watched him move away from you. 

When you got home that day Seokmin’s journals were waiting at your doorstep. 

Reading Seokmin’s words was much like reading your own. Since you started to have dreams, you thought that you were the only one who felt like that, like the only one who didn’t have anyone else to run to. Yes, both of your lives were very different, the place both of you came from was also different. But looking at it or wasn’t all that different. 

His words and the way he described his feelings for you were the things that made you take a deep breath and go meet him. 

I know that you are scared, I can feel it but please reconsider it. I’ve been waiting for a moment like this for a very long time and I would like to believe that you have too. I’ll be in the city for a few more days so let’s meet. If you don’t come to me, I will go to you. We can’t run away from this. 

Seokmin. 

Somehow you found yourself getting out of your tiny apartment and going towards Seokmin. You knew just how much he could feel your nervousness and yet he tried to stay calm so you could feel at ease too. The entire time, since you left the TV station, you could feel him in your mind and it was like he was talking to you, trying to convince you to meet or just to be comfortable with the idea of him. 

At times you could swear that he was talking to you, his voice clear in your mind. It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. It was like Seokmin himself could read your thoughts. Of course, there were moments when he would feel that spark of fear, and anxiety but most of the time he was in complete control of his emotions. He was doing that for you, there was no mistake, so you felt childish for being all over the place and guilty for bombarding him with emotions that you couldn’t fully grasp. 

That was one of the many reasons why you decided to go to him. His words had been the main reason, but you also wanted to put your heart in peace. From the second you walked away from him your heart had been heavy. It was the kind of emotion that was impossible to verbalize, the only word that could possibly come to mind was lost. Your heart was lost. You walked around feeling like there was a huge part of you missing, your eyes looked for something, someone, that was never there. 

It was like that until you got his journals. Although you didn’t feel whole you could feel that a little piece of you was back. Perhaps it truly wasn’t a part of you, instead what could be the missing was a piece of you never found before. 

The missing piece had always been Seokmin. 

You stopped in front of his door, your hand closed into a fist just an inch away. 

The truth was that everything you felt, every tiny thing, could be summed into just one word: fear. You were scared. 

For years you saw Seokmin die in your dreams, he died in a new way every night. You saw, more times than you could count, the life left his eyes as he took his last breath. Sometimes you would just hear about it from someone, just words thrown into a conversation – words that always managed to break your heart. It never mattered how you found out, it always happened suddenly and unexpectedly. 

Whenever you and he were settling into a life together, when you allowed yourself to love each other freely, it happened. You always thought that your love for him, as his for you, worked like a time bomb. And the moment the bond was made was when your time started to run out. 

The only thing you thought about was how if you never made the bond then Seokmin would be able to live a long and happy life. It was okay if once, just once, you didn’t find your soulmate. As long as Seokmin got to live, you were fine with whatever life threw at you. Many people went through life without ever finding their soulmates but that didn’t mean that they weren’t happy. It just meant that they had to find other ways to be happy. 

“Just, please, knock on the door” 

You turned around, startled by the sudden presence behind you, a voice that you had memorized a long time before meeting the person to whom it belonged. Seokmin was there, looking at you like he had just walked out of some kind of sappy movie with his hair a mess and a hoodie that was at least three sizes bigger than him. 

“How long have you been there?” 

He smiled at you then making you feel like your insides were melting. Seeing him was like making the bond all over again. Your hands were sweating, your heartbeat out of control, slow, fast, and slow. The air around you was heavy and the tension between the two of you was almost palpable, like a thin sheet separating you and him. 

“Long enough to know that you’ve been hesitating, for at least, five minutes” 

How was it possible for him to be so calm when you felt like your heart was about to combust? Having him so close to you made your entire body shake. You almost wanted to take a step back before you fell to your knees. It was like your legs were barely there to support you. 

“I want to say so many things but I’m afraid that if I do, you’ll run away again” 

You shook your head at him. This time around you weren’t leaving or running. You had made it this far, there was no way you were backing down. Somehow, seeing Seokmin in front of you made you feel stronger like you could fight the entire universe just because he was right there by your side. He wasn’t doing anything, but he looked at you like you were everything that he had been waiting for and then some more. 

“I came so that we could talk” you tried to smile in reassurance, for him or yourself you weren’t sure “Do you want to do this here or somewhere else…?” 

“I think that it would be best if we had some privacy” 

You took a step aside to let Seokmin open the door to his hotel room. 

You had always been scared of people, not of what they could do to you in the spot but of what they could cause in the long run. From a young age, you learned that you were alone and that the people around you never really wanted you there. For the foster homes you went through most of your life, you were just a way to get easy money; for your first boyfriend you were just a pity bet; for your high school friends you were just the girl they let hang out with them in exchange for assignments; for your parents, you were just someone, something, that they could easily toss aside when they finally got bored. 

All of those things left deep scars on you. Though you did your best to cover them, they were always there right under the surface. You always smiled at people and made sure to tell them that you were perfectly fine even though you weren’t, even though all you wanted was to curl into yourself and let yourself feel all that pain. 

Jun had been the first person to get through to you, the only one who had stayed long enough for you to think that maybe he was around you because he actually liked you and not because he wanted something from you in return. 

It was true that Seokmin was your soulmate, that once the bond is made someone can never really walk away from it. You knew all of those things, like a book that you were constantly reading. Knowing something is completely different than doing it. The insecurities, always in the back of your mind, screamed at you louder than any belief or hope. Your brain always told you that someone like Seokmin, someone who had everything – and anyone – he could possibly want, would never stay for someone like you, bond or no bond. 

“Do you want something to drink? I can get you anything you want” 

Seokmin opened the door for you and pointed at the couch in front of it. As you had expected his room wasn’t just room, it was like a goddamn apartment – hell it was bigger than half of the houses you went through as a teenager. 

“I… it’s fine. I’m fine” 

Seokmin knew that you weren’t fine but chose to stay quiet about it, he knew that it wasn’t a good idea to tell you just how much of you he could understand. It wasn’t only because he could feel every tiny thing coming from you but also because you were like an open book, filled with words begging to be read. 

“I got your journals,” you said “I also read them” 

Your words made Seokmin sigh in relief. He thought that if you saw his journals, and read his feelings, you would be able to understand how desperate he felt, how much his feelings had been all over the place – despite him trying to remain calm. His feelings mirrored yours very much, almost in every way. 

“Because you shared yours with me, I think it’s only fair if I do the same with you” 

He looked up at you, surprise all over his face as you handed him the small box you had been carrying. 

“I’ve dreamed about you, for the past ten years, too. Every night I saw you and fell for you, every version of you” 

The surprise Seokmin felt, the happiness, and the relief that ran through his body the moment he saw you at his door was almost completely gone when he heard what you were saying.  He wanted to think that maybe he heard it wrong but the look in your eyes assured him that he hadn’t heard it wrong. Your words had been loud and clear, ricocheting inside his brain. 

“For how long you have known about me?” 

Your heart was breaking, shattering into tiny pieces when you saw and felt the change in Seokmin. He held the box with your journals like it weighed a thousand pounds, his face was contorted with something that you couldn’t decipher but his feelings were clear, like the sky on a starry night. Seokmin felt betrayed, hurt, and unwanted, all things that weren’t true. 

“Since you started, around the same time, since I was sixteen as well” you whispered. 

Seokmin felt his heart drop all the way down to his toes feeling sick to his stomach. He had always wanted to find you, from the day he understood what his dreams meant he looked for you – everywhere and anywhere in the world. You were the reason why he even started to work in TV, he thought that if he got a job that required him to talk to a lot of people then it would be easier to find you. But the idea, now the fact, that you had always known about him but even then, decided not to look for him, not to take a step away from him, was like a slap to his face. 

“Do you know that I tried to look for you everywhere? I nearly went crazy. Every day since my dreams, the memories of us, started I searched for you. While you…” he scoffed like the world had played yet another sick joke on him “You knew who I was but you never…” 

He couldn’t bring himself to say it; thinking about it – feeling it – was already bad enough. Seokmin didn’t want to voice it, if he did then everything would become that much more real, too real, more heartbreaking than anything else in his life up until that moment. 

The dreams crushed his heart every morning when he woke up. Seokmin felt his heart die a little inside his chest for the life he never got to live with you, for the words he never got to hear from you, for seeing the bright light leave your eyes time and time again. But ultimately those dreams were just that: dreams, memories of a different period in time, of a different life that although felt real, it no longer was. 

“I was afraid, Seokmin…” 

“I know that you were! I felt it, with fiber in my body, I knew that you were scared, terrified that for some reason I wouldn’t love you. I knew all of that like it was my own fear” 

The despair he had in his voice was felt in your body, every tiny cell. You hated that he was feeling like that, that your first ever encounter with him – a proper one – was only worth a fight. That was not how you wanted things to go. You thought that if you ever met him things would run smoothly but the reality of it was far from your expectations. 

“Like you, I am a Memorous” you had to say it, you needed Seokmin to hear your words just once “The first time I saw you, like you are right now, was on TV but it was so fast that I couldn’t be sure. I was on the bus, passing by a TV store. The next day I stayed in front of the same store the entire day, waiting for that brief second of your face for hours. When I finally saw you I cried, right there in the middle of the sidewalk because I just felt so happy to see you, to finally find the boy that I had seen so many times before, the boy I loved so blindly, even though I have never met before. 

“But the dreams… they are alive inside my mind. I don’t forget them like you do. My brain stores them like they are memories of this life, all those feelings were as real as if I lived them this time around. I thought about all the times I saw you die, and I couldn’t live through that again. I couldn’t let that happen to you, not after I saw you. I only knew you from the screen of my tv but my feelings were already so strong. I wanted the bond to happen, you can’t doubt that for a second, but I was scared. I would very much rather live knowing that you were somewhere out there, living a happy and long life than having you live a short one with me” 

Your words were more than enough to make Seokmin stop. Until that moment, his mind was flying all over the place but the second you opened your mouth he couldn’t bring himself to be angry anymore. Those feelings, the fear of seeing your other half – the one you were supposed to be with – die, was one he knew very well. He often wondered what would happen when he finally met you. 

The first time he saw you, he had been over the moon, he felt you and everything else. He felt the pull and your desire to get closer to him. To say that Seokmin was surprised when you ran away was an understatement. He didn’t truly understand everything that was happening inside of him, the unthinkable mix of you and him made him feel dizzy because he couldn’t set you apart. 

He could finally understand the things you did but it didn’t mean that he liked them. 

“I think it’s going to be a very long night” 

Seokmin read your journals in front of you, and it didn’t feel embarrassing. Those journals, your words, had been written for him and for him only. While you wrote down your dreams you thought of him, of how he would read them one day and how much you wanted him to. 

You spent the entire night in his hotel room. You talked for hours and hours and suddenly the subject wasn’t as heavy anymore, both of your fears momentarily forgotten, and you were simply enjoying each other’s company. 

Seokmin was everything that he seemed to be, but he was also that much different. His bubbly personality was still there, fully out in the open for everyone to see, but there was also a shy side to him - one that not many people knew about but it was cute to watch. More often than he would like to admit, Seokmin would trip over his words, insecure about what he could and couldn’t say to you. The ice is still very thin, it’s making me nervous he said at some point in the night. 

You had scooted closer to him or maybe he got closer to you, how it happened didn’t really matter. You found yourself sitting on the couch with your knees pulled to your chest as Seokmin quietly played with your fingers. 

Just having him around you felt like a dream but the moment his skin touched yours? It was like fireworks exploded under your skin, like every single nerve in your body was suddenly awake. You could feel him everywhere, like he was not just the man in front of you, but he was also part of the air, like he could be all around you whilst staying in the exact same spot. He gave you calmness, a sense of peace and security. Things that up until that moment no one had been able to give you, not even yourself. 

“I really want to kiss you” you whispered.  Seokmin’s fingers stilled in yours and something sparkled in his eyes as he looked at you. The moment was suspended in the air as if it wasn’t neither here or there, as if time itself had stopped and all the attention was now on the two of you and the way you were feeling in that very second. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look away from him, you didn’t want to. It was the first time, in your entire life, that you craved someone’s touch and presence. With Seokmin you wanted that and so much more, everything that he had to give, you wanted. 

Feeling like that for someone after only knowing them for a couple of hours was impossible, the kind of thing that you would never expect to happen, the kind of thing that you would laugh at because something like that couldn’t exist. But with you and Seokmin, nothing was as it seemed. 

It was true that you had only known him for a little while but just in this life. When you looked at him you saw traces of the many different people that he had been in the past and because of that, it was like you fully knew him. That wasn’t the case, and you knew that, but even so, the feeling of reconnection still existed. 

Seokmin inched forward, his eyes focused on your lips, as he interlocked your fingers and pulled you towards him. There was one second of hesitation, one tiny second that felt like an eternity before his lips finally pressed on yours and then it was pure magic. 

Seokmin had to leave a few days later and you hated the idea of having to see him walk away. It wasn’t final, you knew that, but it hurt all the same. He had stayed in the city for you far longer than he was supposed to, his phone always blowing up with text messages from people concerned about his whereabouts when in reality he had been locked up with you inside your apartment. 

On the contrary to what you previously thought, Seokmin didn’t care about your tiny apartment, about the fact that you had been to more foster homes than what you were willing to admit, or about the fact that you didn’t have a degree. I like you for you, not for the baggage that comes with you. 

You sat at the airport for hours after his flight departed, the emptiness growing inside of you as the seconds ticked away. 

Seokmin felt the same way. He wanted to stay or for you to just go with him, but he didn’t dare to ask. He knew that even though you didn’t think much of your life, you liked it. You loved to be a receptionist at Jun’s school, loved being surrounded by the kids, loved the city you lived in, and you were a little proud of yourself for being your own person and living your own life - even though you would never admit it. He got into the plane with a heavy heart, but he had to figure things out. He had to find a way for the two of you to be together. It was uncertain of what the future held for you. You could be together for just a year before one of you died or your entire life was still ahead of you. The not knowing drove him crazy. 

 Three weeks apart was all he could take before he found himself boarding a plane to the other side of the country and breaking a few contracts while he did so. You called every day, facetimed whenever there was a chance and texts were always a constant but just that wasn’t enough. 

Due to the distance, the constant pull to you only grew stronger and the grasp he had of your feelings, how Seokmin could tell exactly what was going on with you, was slowly disappearing. It wasn’t that you were learning to control what he could and couldn’t see. Once the bond is made the newfound soulmates need to stay close to each other, it’s physically and mentally tiring to be away. He noticed that you sounded more exhausted on the phone, as your eyes nearly closed when you talked on Facetime. 

All those things pulled him to you, yes, but Seokmin also wanted to see you desperately. 

He didn’t tell you that he was coming to see you, he wanted to make it a surprise. The entire flight he felt just how happy you were, probably because you were at the dance school with the kids, but he also noticed your worry, because he hadn’t answered his phone in a few hours, as you tried to push it as far back in your mind as possible. 

The long see-through glass walls of the school allowed Seokmin to see you inside. He heard your laugh before he saw you, the sound had been imprinted in his mind like the type of song that just gets stuck. And then he saw your profile looking at the little boy in front of you lovingly. When you smiled, he thought that his heart would explode inside his chest. 

Seeing you, even from far away, was like going home after a long time. The feeling of calmness, the feeling of finally being able to breathe properly. Just looking at you made him lighter in a way that he couldn’t exactly put into words. 

The kids were the first ones to see Seokmin. The little boy you talked to gasped, and his eyes went wide. All the other kids had the same reaction, some of them pointed at him while others just went back to what they were doing before. 

You stood frozen in place and watched Seokmin walk from where he was to the door. You had to make sure that he was really there, that it wasn’t something that you were imagining. If it wasn’t for the cute selfies he sent you stored in your phone, you would be sure that meeting Seokmin and everything else that happened after had been nothing but a dream. It wouldn’t be the first time you wished for a life that could never have. 

You got up and took a step away from the kids before walking as fast as you could - nearly running - towards him. He met you halfway, his arms reached for you before you collapsed into him. 

You sighed in contentment and relief when you felt his skin against yours, when his warmth enveloped you. Everything else was forgotten and it no longer mattered. 

“You’re really here,” you said against his neck. 

His chuckle ran through your entire body and he tightened his arms around you, pulling you as close as possible to him. 

“Half a country away is too much" he murmured. 

You stayed in place for minutes, long enough for one of the kids to get bored and call out your name a couple of times. One of them ran inside and got Jun, because the little boy thought that Seokmin might be holding you for too long. 

“This reunion is great and all but it’s weird for the kids” 

At the sound of your friend’s voice, you let go of Seokmin but you didn’t go too far. Three weeks had been long enough, you would take whatever few moments with him that you could get before he had to leave again. So you stayed by Seokmin’s side, your fingers interlocked with his. 

“Seokmin, this is Jun” 

“I was the one who gave him your address, how else do you think he would send you his journals?” 

Seokmin looked at you, with surprise in his face. He hadn’t expected you to tell someone about it, about his journals, or about anything at all. From the moment he saw you, and even from the journals you wrote, he knew that you were the kind of person who didn’t tell those around her much about her life so it was a surprise that you had talked about it with someone. 

“It’s good to see that things worked out for you,” Jun said, he looked at the watch on his wrist before looking back at you again “Go on, take the rest of the day off” 

You shook at head, pointing at the kids behind him - who were already making a fuss all over the place. 

“I still have a few more hours to go and you need help with the kids” 

Jun just rolled his eyes when he took a few steps closer to you and Seokmin, pretty much pushing out of the door. 

“I’ll let you know that there was a time when I managed this place just fine without you” 

 For the rest of the day, you walked around town with Seokmin. He held your hand the entire time, letting it go just to put his arm around your shoulder, either way, he always had his hands on you. You didn’t mind it, in fact, you liked it a lot. The idea of always being close to him made your heart flutter in impossible ways, made you imagine what life would be like when you finally got to be with him for more than a few hours at a time, it made you wish for a future when you would be able to see him every day and talk to him and just be around him. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Seokmin said when you reached your neighborhood. 

“That could be dangerous” 

During the time you and Seokmin talked on the phone, he told a lot about his childhood and there was one thing that was clear to you: he was an unpredictable kid. His ideas were always crazy and so unnatural for a child. When you were in foster care you thought that the other kids were crazy, but they were just reckless, Seokmin was wild. 

“I should have never told you those stories,” he said with a sigh, a tiny smile on his face “I’ve got this job offer, here in the city. It’s not like what I do now but I think that it could be fun and I’ll try to make it work as much as possible. If I do take it, we’ll be closer to each other” 

You were shaking your head before he was done speaking. Seokmin changing jobs, and doing something else that was not what he wanted initially was a huge no. 

“You’re not moving here” 

He sighed again and took your hand in his. 

“I know you’re worried about my job, but I only started to do it because I thought that it was the easiest way to find you. I can do something else, anything else, if it means that I can have you” 

You turned to look at him, your hand squeezing his. His words assured you, more than anything in the world. Hearing those words was the only thing you needed. 

“Remember how I told you that Jun’s soulmate mom is a social worker? She told me that there is this University, not the most prestigious one but a university nonetheless, that is more likely to give out scholarships. A couple of months ago I took the test to get in and I got the results a week ago” 

Seokmin nodded at you, not really understanding what you meant. Truth be told, he was a little hurt. The second he mentioned it you were already denying it, like the mere idea of having him close to was repulsive. He knew that couldn’t be the case, knew that those things never reached your heart but even so, the feeling of getting rejected was there. 

“I got in. I have to move there in the next few weeks or so, to settle in and find my way around town” 

“Where… where is that?” 

You laughed and kissed him quickly. He looked way too cute with the confused look on his face. 

“I didn’t ask for your address just to have it, Seokmin. I want to be close to you so I was looking for a place near yours but also close enough to the university” 

Before you even done speaking Seokmin already had his arms around while he placed quick kisses all over your face, making you laugh. 

Moving away was harder than expected. There weren’t many things that tied you to that place, but the few things that did make it heartbreaking. 

Just as you predicted, telling Jun was easy. Your friend, like always, had been supportive saying that he had your back in all the choices you’ve made and the choices that you would come to make. 

His kids were a completely different story. When you told Hana about it, she started to cry, tears running down her little face and sobs escaping her lips. You knew that it was going to be hard to talk to her, but you didn’t think that it was going to be like that. Hanbin was easier but you knew that he was also feeling it. 

“Will you call us every day?” 

“I’ll call you every Sunday morning,” you said pinching her cheeks “We all know how much your dad loves Sunday mornings” 

Jun groaned but he still had a smile on his face. 

“Why do you hate me?” 

It broke your heart to leave all three of them, but it was something that you had to do, not only because you wanted to be close to Seokmin but because of yourself. The change was something that you needed to do in order to move your life forward. 

Moving day wasn’t as terrible as you expected. Seokmin had helped you move all your stuff, boxing everything to perfection. You didn’t have much you wanted to take with you but even so, everything you owned had been labeled and wrapped. 

Somehow Seokmin had managed to convince you to just move in with him. You tried to deny him at first. It didn’t make any sense; you had just started something with him and suddenly you were putting your toothbrushes together. That was way too fast. “We don’t know how much time we have together so why waste it by being apart?”  You tried reasoning with him “What if I can’t stand your habits and you hate mine?” To what he just said, “I’ll love all of your nasty habits and I’ll be the perfect prince, so you’ll have nothing to complain about”. 

It all ended with a heated make-out session on your couch. 

Seokmin was feeling edgy. He was supposed to be home hours ago, he knew that you were worried but restraining yourself from calling him. He loved his job, he really did, and it was amazing that he got to keep it and be with you at the same time, but he hated days like those. He hated the late-night shootings when he had to be away - especially when he could feel how worried you were - and he didn’t even like to think about when he had to do something out of town. 

The drive back home felt endless. He broke God knows how many speed limits, and crossed a few red lights. He didn’t know why he was feeling like that, he knew that there wasn’t anything wrong going on at home. You would have called him in case something happened, he would have felt something change. 

But at times he couldn’t help but feel anxious. 

It had been four years. Four years since you found each other, since you started your life together, probably the four happiest years of his. But whenever he wasn’t expecting it, whenever Seokmin started to feel comfortable again with his life and you around him, his dreams would come back to haunt him. Instead of seeing you, in the past, he saw you as you were in this life. He saw the woman he loved, more than any of his dreams could have let him know, die in front of him, in his arms. It was always like that, you had a smile on your face, a tear ran down your cheek and you said that loved him. 

On nights like that, he would search for you. His arms moved directly to you and pulled you to him as quiet sobs escaped his lips. You always cried with him on nights like that. You didn’t have those sorts of dreams, but his despair and fear ran through your body as if they were your own. 

That night was just like that. The whole day he had a sickening feeling in his stomach. Like the world was telling him that something was bound to happen. The one thing that had somehow calmed him was how at ease you were during most of the way. 

Seokmin walked inside a house in darkness, the light in the hallway the only thing that could possibly tell him that there was someone home. You always did that for him when he had one of his late nights. 

You were sleeping in the bedroom, so Seokmin tried his best not to make a sound. But he knew that all his efforts were useless when he walked out of the bathroom to find the bedside lamp on and you looking at him. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you” 

You sat up and smiled at him, shaking your head. It was a good thing that he had woken you up. Your sleep wasn’t peaceful, no nightmares or dreams but although you were asleep you still had that weird feeling of being awake while sleeping. 

“It’s fine, I actually have to talk to you about something” 

Seokmin wouldn’t like what you had to say to him, in fact, you were pretty sure that he would probably hate it. 

“I talked to your sister today” the words left your lips in a quiet whisper. 

Seokmin stood still, his eyes focused on you, but his mind was somewhere entirely. He finally understood why you had felt so anxious and nervous during lunchtime and why he was feeling on edge the entire day. 

“We’re not doing this” he shook his head. 

“Seokmin it’s been 12 years, you’re going to have to talk to them at some point” 

You reached for his hand at the same that Seokmin scoffed at you. 

“You haven’t talked to your parents in 22 years and I don’t push toward them” 

Seokmin regretted his words the second he said them. He watched as you tried your best to control your emotions and not let him feel just how hurt you truly felt about his words. You pulled back the hand you reached to Seokmin and tucked it under the blankets. 

“I did try to look for them, Seokmin. I found them. It went the same way as it did when I was eight years old. They didn’t want me” 

You never told anyone about that, it wasn’t the kind of thing that you liked to talk about. To be honest you didn’t even like to think about it. 

A week before you moved in with Seokmin you searched for your parents. With Jun’s help, you managed to find them, quite easily. They still lived in the city, in the same house you lived in for the first eight years of your life. All it really took to get a hold of them was to find the documents they filled when they left you in the foster house. Your meeting with them didn’t last long, less than five minutes and they didn’t even invite you in. All the conversation was done at their doorstep. “We can’t do anything for you, we’re not parent material,” they said to which you answered, “I’m no longer a kid who needs care and protection”. 

For them to suddenly find their inner parent wasn’t something that you wanted or expected but you thought that they could, at least, be part of your life but even that they refused. They only showed some kind of interest when you mentioned Seokmin and just by looking at them, you could tell that their interest was more on what Seokmin brought with him than for you. 

After that you never mentioned them again, never allowed Jun to talk about it again, not even thinking about them was allowed. 

“Just because people bond doesn’t mean they become good people, Seokmin. It just means that there’s someone out there who won’t judge your choices” 

“Babe…” 

Seokmin crawled on the bed towards you, his arms going around you and tangled his legs with yours. 

You stayed quiet for a while, unmoving. That was your favorite place in the world, his arms. Even if you had just some kind of argument with him, even if you were hurt by what the other person said, you never turned your back on each other. 

“I’m afraid if I let them in again the same thing will happen. I can’t go through that again” 

You turned in his arms, facing him. 

“They were probably just afraid Seokmin, the things people say about Memorous aren’t nice. Maybe they were just afraid to lose their son. Your sister did sound really sorry on the phone” you ran your hand on his cheek “You’re thirty years old, the feelings you had at eighteen are not the same and you certainly are not the same person. Maybe we could try talking to them, and if it doesn't work, it doesn’t” 

“Thank you for reminding me that I’m old” 

You giggled against his chest, which made Seokmin kiss the top of your head. 

“You’ll only be old when our kids kids go to college” 

Something in Seokmin’s eyes changed, all the anger and laughter from just a second before suddenly disappeared. He rolled on the bed, so he was on top of you. 

“Are we talking babies now?” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed your way up from his collarbone to his lips. 

“You’ve been lacking in that department lately, husband” 

He pulled your hands away from his neck and presses it against the mattress. 

“I’ll be sure to make it up to you, wife” 

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Yandere House Targaryen Headcanons (Platonic)

"Fire and Blood." — House Targaryen.

❝ 🐉 — lady l: I don't think I've ever written a headcanon this big! But I liked how it turned out and I hope you like it too. I made some changes to the ones that participate, in this case, it's Viserys I, Aemma, Rhaenyra, Daemon, Jacaerys, Lucerys, Joffrey, Aegon III, Viserys II, Rhaena, and Baela. I did this because it's easier to organize, but don't worry, the others will come later! Good reading and sorry for any mistakes. :)

❝tw: yandere themes, possessive and obsessive behavior, unhealthy platonic relationshipsa , child being taken from its parents, mention of torture, murder, war and blood.

❝🐉 pairing: yandere!platonic house targaryen x gender neutral!reader.

❝word count: +2,5k.

The way you entered the life of the Targaryen family was very unconventional, but for them, it was the work of the Seven. You were brought at a young age into the arms of Queen Aemma, King Visesrys I and Princess Rhaenyra, only a year older than you. Your origin is unknown to all who are not part of the family. Some say you were the child of peasants who lived in the Vale and on a trip there, Viserys and Aemma met you and were enchanted by you, as did Rhaenyra and decided to take you with them, others say that Daemon killed your parents and when he was about to to kill you too, he was ''bewitched'' and decided to take you with him to King's Landing where the King and the Queen took you as their child, but it's not really important anymore because now you're with them and they don't mean you let go.

Aemma became especially attached to you as you grew older, she really came to love you like her own child and the way she always tries to keep by her side as long as possible made that very clear. The Queen just wants you happy and well, she sees you as her ''precious baby'' and she can't let anyone ruin that. Aemma goes to great lengths to see you smile, she gives you everything you need and more. She is a devoted mother and very attached to her children, Rhaenyra and you, but in a way, she is even more to you. You, like her, are very attached to the Queen as well, as she is what you know as a '’mother’' and anyone who tries to deny that you are not really her and the king's child will lose their tongue. It doesn't matter if you are completely different from them, if you have dark hair, dark eyes and dark skin, you are their child and no one can say otherwise. Those who dared to do so lost their tongues.

Viserys also spends as much time with you as possible, for as King he doesn't have as much free time, but what he does have, it's all spent with you. Viserys tries to be as rational as possible in this family dynamic that has developed around you, but he can't deny the situation they've gotten themselves into by stealing someone's child. He knows it's wrong and he feels guilty about it, but hearing you call him "daddy" makes those thoughts disappear in an instant. He's a good father actually, always taking care of you, pampering you and protecting you as much as he can from the evils of the world which made you an extremely naive person, but Viserys won't say he doesn't like that innocent side of you, because he does. It just forces him to think that you must be protected forever, that you will never stop being your daddy's little girl/boy. That you will always need him to protect you and ward off the monsters of your nightmare.

Rhaenyra is your older sister, protective and possessive of your attention. She, from her family, is one of the most possessive with you, she feels entitled to have you because you are sibilings and, therefore, she is the one who should have you whenever she wants and she always wants you with her. The Princess is the one who you are closest to in the family, only after Aemma, as she is always by your side even if you are with your parents she will still be around. She claims it's because she's taking care of you like a big sister would, but in reality it's because she doesn't want you to spend time with other people, even if those people are her parents. She loves to take you flying with Syrax and read to you, her favorite moments spent together are when you are hugging her tightly as you fly your dragon. Rhaenyra's possessiveness is often overwhelming as you will never truly be alone, she insisted on sharing a room with you and she is very insistent. She is suffocating, your alone moments will never really be alone as the princess will always be lurking around, watching over you like a good sister.

Daemon is, without a doubt, the worst of the Targaryens. At first, he didn't really like the idea of ​​having you in his family, as you weren't one of them, not by blood at least. You, in his eyes, were nothing more than a stranger your brother clung to, but he would make him see the truth, after all, you didn't even possess valyrian traits so how dare you be called Targaryen? But to everyone's surprise and himself, Daemon also became so obsessed with you as soon as he laid eyes on you. Aemma and Viserys were worried at first about Daemon as they knew what he was like but they were relieved a little bit to see that he got along with you, in fact, more than well. Daemon is the most dangerous of all your family, he is possessive and violent, and he saw you as a property to be claimed by him, to be raised and loved by him alone. He didn't see Viserys capable of raising you, as his brother is weak in his vision and he was too protective of you, but Daemon wants you to be able to fight for yourself and he'll be more than happy to teach you how. He spends all the time that is available to him with you (and the time that is not his) talking about the future with you, about how he will be King and that you will stand by his side. Daemon's unpredictable and volatile nature should not be ignored as he is more than capable of taking you away with him and he will if the opportunity arises.

Family is what you all are and what you will be forever and ever. They're all obsessed with you to different degrees, but if there's one thing they all agree on, it's: protecting and loving you above everything and everyone else. Aemma and Viserys are the ones most aware of what you're being forced to deal with, at a such young age, and they know the delicate situation and what they did in taking you away from your original family, they know all of that, but they selfishness and the love they feel so much for their precious child speaks much louder. Rhaenyra has grown up to believe that you are indeed her sister/brother, she doesn't care if you don't look alike, you are sibilings and that's final, she loves you and is always by your side, you have become everything and the one person that she trust and she will be cursed if she lets you go. Daemon doesn't care about any of that, he just wants you with him and will be offended and furious if anyone questions his intentions with you. How dare they? You are his niece/nephew and he loves you like a father and only wants the best for you, and the best for you is to staty with him, he very often quarreling with Viserys over this. Daemon has no morals and would kill many, but he would never lift a finger at you. Never.

However, after Aemma's death, the situation became unbalanced and everything became even more fragile. You were in tears and Rhaenyra and Viserys looked to you for comfort, all three of you suffered the same: the loss of the woman you loved so much. Rhaenyra would cry in your arms and Viserys would often just hold you without saying anything, just letting the tears fall onto your shoulders. Both were coming after you for comfort, but you went to Daemon for that, as he was the only one who wasn't shaken by the Queen's death. To say that Daemon was happy to have you all to himself isn't enough to express what he felt, happiness and triumph perhaps? Triumph because you chose him over Rhaenyra and Viserys to be consoled, you chose him and that only adds to his illusion that you only trust and love him. Only him and Daemon will always keep that in his head.

When Viserys remarried and to Rhaenyra's friend, she didn't react well to this situation. Not only did she feel betrayed by her father and friend, she felt threatened, threatened with the promise of a male heir and being replaced. Rhaenyra implored you to keep as far away from Alicent and any children she might have as possible, for she couldn't handle the fear of losing you, especially after she saw that the new Queen seemed interested in you. Sure, you and Alicent have seen each other a few times, but Rhaenyra has always tried her best to keep you away from her friend because you are hers alone and after her betrayal, she couldn't imagine you leaving her for Alicent Hightower. No, she will not allow that to happen. Although Alicent has more ways to reach you, as the Queen, everyone knows that Viserys is very supportive of Rhaenyra and he will do what she asks. Rhaenyra knows you are safe from Alicent, but who knows for how long?

Daemon was exiled again and he hoped he could take you with him, but Viserys wouldn't allow it. He knew he could try to force you to go with him, after all, he had Caraxes, but after seeing that you didn't want to go, he ended up forgetting about it. For a while. Although he was busy fighting at the Stepstones, you never got out of his head, to the point of being a distraction, even after taking an arrow, you were all the prince could think about. Would you be safe? Do you miss him? Daemon is a danger to himself and having you in his head all the time just makes the situation worse. But on the one hand, you are his biggest motivation to live and win, he wants to see the pride on his face when he comes back victorious and feel your warm embrace that he so missed.

The Targaryen family dynamic never changed over the years and the affection for you only grew stronger and stronger, to the point where you became the only one capable of holding this family together. Viserys spent the most time with you over the years, you became the center of his attention as he grew older, the influence you have on the King is superior to any. Rhaenyra even after getting married and having children, was still stuck to your side, nothing will be able to separate the two of you and your support of her is what keeps her strong, her children would eventually develop their yandere tendencies for you like their mother. Although Daemon spent time in Essos with Laena and his daughters, he still sent letters daily and when he could, he would pay you a visit. Not even time will be able to take you away from them. From their obsession.

Jacaerys is extremely overprotective of you. He doesn't care if you're older and even better than he is at fighting, he still feels the need to protect you as you are part of his family and Jace is very protective of his family but even more so of you. The prince developed his obsession for you since he was a child, you have always been by his side and his mother, helping to take care of him and protect him and he is immensely grateful for that. Besides, you're like him, both different from the rest of your family physically, you didn't have valyrian traits but you were both Targaryen and that's all that matters at the end. He is very intelligent and somewhat manipulative and he won't mind having to manipulate you to get your attention and approval. Jace wants to impress you, he wants you to feel nothing but pride in him and when you praise him he melts. He just loves you so much, like the rest of his family.

Lucerys, of his brothers, is the most attached to you. He is possessive of your attention and will complain if anyone else has it, as he considers himself the most deserving of it. Luke is an intelligent and adorable boy by nature. He doesn't quite understand these twisted feelings he and his family feel for you, but he knows that you are precious and should be protected and adored, as his mother told him so. Lucerys is always seen around you, often holding your hand as he snuggles up to you, demonstrating to everyone that you belong to him, that you belong to them.

Joffrey, Aegon III and Viserys II for them being very young, they don't understand what's going on, they don't understand why their family is so involved with you, why they are so protective and obsessive about you. None of them understand what's going on, except what their parents tell them: you are their one priority. As the youngest in the family, they are, along with Lucerys, the most demanding of his attention. Little princes invite you to play and be a part of their pranks, as they know they amuse you. They're naive, the only thing they understand is how much they love you like the rest of the Targaryens did and there's nothing wrong with loving, right?

Rhaena and Baela didn't spend much time with you, having grown up in Essos, they lived most of the time with their mother and father, but things changed after Laena's death. You all met at her funeral, and you went to try to comfort the princesses. Baela and Rhaena had already heard of you, as Daemon always mentioned you when the opportunity arose, so they knew almost everything about your life and the love Daemon had for you, they just didn't expect to be obsessed with you either. They are quite calm in their obsession with you in reality, and they accept as long as you can spend time with them in an acceptable and dignified way, you will never see them complaining about not being able to spend enough time with you. But make no mistake, Rhaena and Baela are possessive like their father and they won't tolerate being left out by anyone.

The Targaryens are said to be closer to the gods than to men, but to them, you are the goddess/god they so adore and are madly obsessed with. You have so much power over them that people say they are your tamed dragons. This family is full of problems and disputes, but they will all be united when it comes to you. Unfortunately, the entire responsibility of a kingdom has fallen on your shoulders and your family's overwhelming possessiveness only makes the burden more unbearable to bear. Be wise in your future choices, (Y/N), for one wrong step could start a war, a war for you.

[stardust-falling]

Thanks for answering my ask. If you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask something from SVSSS? What do you think are Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

P.s

If you want to answer the questions above with Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun's dynamics, too, I don't mind....

I love reading your posts. Thanks for sharing your analysis metas.....

It's a little difficult for me to nail down clear strengths and weaknesses in personality, because many things which are strengths can also be weaknesses, and weaknesses can also be strengths-- I think some of the best written characters are ones which subvert things like that. Coincidentally, both SY!QQ and LBH exhibit this which makes me enjoy the characters even more.

Long again, so under the cut:

For Shen Yuan, he's clever and adaptable, while he does freak out upon discovering his character role, the transmigration itself hardly fazes him, and throughout the whole story he goes from one mess to another and is almost always able to adjust. Of course, part of this is because he knows the plot of PIDW, and it all feeds into one of his biggest strengths-- self-confidence. I don't often see in fic SY!QQ being written as confidently as he actually is. Aside from when his death is imminent, this man is basically 100% sure of himself in his actions-- he makes a plan and takes it without hesitation and is only rarely seen doubting himself. Typically it works out well for him, actually-- it's this confidence in himself, his abilities, his knowledge, as well as his objectivity, that makes him able to take on this new role, outwit the system where possible, and plan ahead for the future without getting too bogged down in self-doubt and criticism. There are a lot of characters that carry a lot of self-hatred in this story (SQH being a major one... which naturally contributes to everyone else) but Shen Yuan is not one of those. And it's not just him thinking he's the best either-- rather, he's perfectly able to be objective, he understands his own mediocrity, his own strengths and weaknesses. Aside from the sexuality issue, SY!QQ is pretty comfortable with himself.

Where that becomes a weakness, though, is when he is over-confident-- when he thinks that the way he views the world is universal, or that he knows perfectly the way the story ends. If he's adaptable in circumstance, he's rigid in mindset, and it's not until something is directly thrown into his face (or rather, kisses his face) that he even considers that he might have had the wrong idea about a situation. He's a logical person, to a fault-- once something makes sense in his mind, it's hard to change it.

As for Luo Binghe, the boy is determined and devoted-- one of his greatest qualities, which also gives rise to character flaws, would be his tenacity. He isn't someone who will give up, and he will stop at nothing to get what he wants-- and this is something that is true for both Bingge and Bingmei, it's only that Bingmei actually does know what he wants and focuses on that one thing, while Bingge isn't entirely sure, and so focuses on controlling and taking everything.

His determination first manifests, of course, as a determination to survive at all costs, and is an intrinsic part of his "white lotus" character archetype-- meaning, a character that appears sweet and naive but is actually cunning and manipulative beneath that. LBH learned to be manipulative from a young age, but it wasn't because he was evil or anything-- that was just what he had to do to stay alive. Later on, he continued to carry that same desperate tenacity toward something more than just survival-- Luo Binghe wanted to be loved and valued, and no matter what, he would get that. Both versions, actually were the same way, just with a specific target in Bingmei's case vs a non-specific target in Bingge's. Determination and tenacity are usually seen as inherently positive qualities-- in fact, I would say that this quality is basically what makes a protagonist, as the character that is going out and getting what they want despite the difficulties. Overcoming difficulties is how one makes a satisfying story, after all.

The interesting thing with LBH is that despite all of this tenacity, his manipulative traits, etc, he's still a kind and thoughtful person. Again, part of what makes a protagonist a protagonist in many cases-- a character like Luo Binghe, in many stories especially when told from the protagonist's perspective, is meant to be liked by the readers. Luo Binghe, of course, subverts that in some cases by being a darkened protagonist from the start, but also, as much as you can see his tenderness, his concern, his acts of service as a love language, you can also see it as a survival tactic, which begs the question-- how much of LBH's kindness toward SQQ is out of love, and how much out of fear? How much is still carried over from his desperation to be loved by the Shizun who hated him? How much is because he's afraid of losing what he has?

Honestly it's hard to answer-- and that's how it is with trauma. In the end though, I don't think it makes him ingenuine. Most people can't imagine what it would be like to go through Luo Binghe's upbringing, but I'd like everyone critical of the character to take a moment to think about it, to try to empathize with what that history of abandonment and neglect, of being targeted by both peers and superiors no matter how hard you tried, of hoping that things would get better only to have that hope shattered again and again every time, try to think about what that sort of thing would end up doing to your mind-- especially as a developing child. That's the only thing you know-- that's the way the world is to you. LBH's choices, the way he responds to things, it makes a lot more sense when you realize that from his perspective, he finally did something that managed to get SQQ to like him, and finally started opening up, maybe even daring to hope that things would be okay now-- and then the conference happened, and Shizun threw him away again. From his perspective, that's all he knows-- and that's still all he knows as of post-canon too. Obviously, LBH has plenty of issues, and the way he behaves can't be considered good, but it's still understandable.

Anyway, that was a bit of a long rant, but that's a lot of how I see characters, where I'm not usually thinking of them as "good" or "bad" people but as a series of cause and effects, and what makes a good character to me is if the cause and effects in their lives are portrayed well-- that's why I think that so many characters in SVSSS are very good characters, and why I'm so fond of them.

As for Bingqiu's dynamic, my favorite thing has to be how they are simultaneously very unhealthy while also somehow being healthy too? Specifically, they cater to one another's specific fucked up tastes in a way that what would be a red flag for anyone else is a bonus for them-- for example, LBH likes SQQ specifically because of SQQ being his shizun, rather than despite it, while SQQ finds LBH's tendency toward brutality rather charming and would prefer to cheer for his victory, so long as it doesn't come with the total destruction of the world, and doesn't involve he himself having his limbs removed. They've both got very... interesting perspectives and it really shouldn't work between them, neither of them know how to have a healthy relationship with healthy boundaries, and yet somehow in the end it... it does work, and they do establish boundaries-- boundaries that SQQ likes to have pushed, and LBH likes to push, but boundaries nonetheless-- and aside from the first time at Maigu Ridge (which LBH doesn't even want to acknowledge), no matter what they're doing, they always do it with consent.

I love to see the growth in their relationship from the absolute hot mess it is in the main novel, then improving and balancing out through the extras. It's just... so very interesting to see a relationship that starts out extremely unhealthy becoming less so, and ultimately becoming one where it seems both partners are quite happy... honestly, despite the weirdness of it, endgame Bingqiu really isn't very bad at all. Because guess what, sometimes relationships don't start out healthy. That doesn't mean there's nothing to save from them. Sometimes partners can hurt one another and still turn out to be good for one another in the end. People change, relationships change, and sometimes it really is for the better-- and I'm speaking from personal, IRL experience with this. It's not for everyone, but for me, I find the storyline of going from something very toxic and unhealthy to something stable, where Bingqiu are happily living out their cottagecore dreams despite SQQ's still-occasionally-cynical narration, extremely cathartic and somewhat unique. It's not just a bad relationship that miraculously turned good or was retconned into being good. It's a bad relationship where the partners put in the work to turn it into a good one, and I really wish that people would look at it with more nuance-- because if even fictional characters and relationships need nuance, real life people and relationships definitely need it too.

Anyway, I would do Moshang too, but this already got super, super long, so I'll go ahead and save the Moshang meta for another day.

[simpforchuchu]

Yasushi x Gandhi’s Sister | Hcs

a/n: It is an old request… I was planning to write smth for my boys so here it :) I hope you like it 🥰

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: not much just usual hnl things

* I don't think Gandhi's crazy side is only in fights. I think it's the same even with his friendships

* But I'm sure his little sister is pretty important to him.

* And he definitely doesn't want her to have anything to do with his world

* That's why I'm sure he always tries to make sure that he treats her like a princess and that all evil is away from her

* A kind hearted, nice and lovely young girl

* But in the end, they share the same blood…

* Although he thinks his sister is pretty naive, she actually is a bit like her brother

* Fearless and headstrong

* Gandhi doesn't want anyone but Himuro to know that he has a sister because he fears harm will come to her.

* Himuro is like his second brother

* We know that Yasushi and Gandhi had a grudge from the past.

* Although we don't know what it is, Yasushi will never forgive him after what he did to Kiyoshi.

* So how did y/n and Yasushi meet?

* I'm sure this is pure coincidence. Yasushi didn’t even know who she is.

* I think Yasushi is not too harsh with girls. But he's still Yasushi... so I don't expect him to be too kind

* Maybe they even had an argument to get the last Coke on the grocery shelf…

* Y/n is much nicer than him but she is quite stubborn like her older brother

* OH GOD YASUSHI IS WORSE THAN HER

* I can imagine they had a little bickering that day, yet Yasushi took the Coke and left the young girl annoyed

* Yeah a little bit like enemies to lovers ??

* A few days after that, several punks were harassing y/n. Yasushi didn't even realize it was y/n when he saw this. After a small fight, they both noticed each other and screamed , "YOU!?" it was Kiyoshi's turn to be surprised when they shouted.

* Coincidences were getting more frequent

* After a while, both began to enjoy each other's presence.

* The friendship eventually turned into flirting and then dating…

* What about Gandhi?

* Oh… his moment of learning this whole thing was so bad

* On his way home that evening, he did not expect his sister to walk home giggling after kissing his old enemy's cheek at the head of the street.

* He didn't react for a while.

* He was pretty angry but didn't even think y/n knew who Yasushi was

* Yasushi stared in surprise when he turned around and saw Gandhi staring at him with anger.

* Gandhi of course grabbed Yasushi's collar hard and punched him and told him to stay away from his sister.

* Yasushi didn't even know she was his sister until then

* These shouts were of course also heard by y/n

* The young girl came out and stopped the two of them. He got ahead of his brother and wanted to protect Yasushi.

* Yasushi, on the other hand, was quite brave. He said he loves his sister and was serious that night.

* The event remained tense for a long time.

* The two siblings were not talking, Yasushi was nervous

* Y/n was pretty sad.

* Gandhi didn't want his sister to be upset, but he has a huge proud.

* Yasushi spoke to Gandhi alone to show that he was truly serious. He even said they could fight if they wanted to and he wouldn't counter.

* It was a long talk but they both agreed to a truce for y/n

* Gandhi never liked Yasushi, neither did Yasushi.

* But they've both always been wary of y/n

* Over time, Gandhi changed his demeanor when he saw how serious the other one was and how much he loved his sister.

* He still didn't like him but didn't hate him either.

* Yasushi, on the other hand, was in love with his old enemy's sister and every day he thought about how many surprises life is full of…

HnL taglist : @straysugzhpe @tiddly-winx  @ninamarie1994 @thatpoindexterpixy

[veliseraptor]

In your opinion, what was it about Xue Yang that XXC found so amusing in the 'Villainous Friends' extra ? And why was XXC so easygoing and gentle with this weirdo delinquent who ransacked a stall for no reason ?

Lol though I ship xuexiao due to their Yi City chemistry, I also find it confusing why yi city XXC would trust this shady stranger. Naivete ? The belief that he can easily protect himself against potential threats ?

ooh these are fun questions. to take the first one first: I think it's basically that to Xiao Xingchen, Xue Yang in that extra comes off less as a genuine threat and more as a boisterous young man with too much energy. it's not quite him being "boys will be boys!" about it, and certainly he knows it's not harmless - he chastises Xue Yang for causing the damage he does! - but to his eye he's not seeing a serious problem so much as a kid (funny, given that their age difference is negligible, Xiao Xingchen is also a kid based on canon ages at the time) acting out for lack of discipline. we do also know Xue Yang has a cute face and a sweet smile, which I'm sure also helps with Xiao Xingchen judging him as, like, mostly harmless, just in need of some minor behavioral correction.

which I think in general reflects how Xiao Xingchen approaches the world, particularly before his bad breakup with Song Lan: he wants to believe the best of people, and generally does. he just is pretty easygoing on the whole! he's not an aggressive person! even when he does go on to arrest Xue Yang and take him to be judged after the Chang massacre, he's presented as less angry and more matter-of-fact, presenting the evidence and expecting justice to come of it.

as far as Xiao Xingchen trusting Xue Yang in Yi City...I actually think there's a lot going on there. in terms of why, right off the bat, he's not insisting on answers or outwardly suspicious, I think at that point Xiao Xingchen feels like he's lost the right to any high ground. he understands, too, that there are many reasons that someone might want to hide their identity or not talk about a painful (literally) past - he's doing the same thing, after all. allowing Xue Yang his silence also allows Xiao Xingchen his own.

also, initially, Xiao Xingchen isn't expecting his mysterious stranger to stick around. he expresses as much to a-Qing when she warns him about Xue Yang: "Once he's healed, he will leave on his own. No one would want to stay in this coffin home with us." (Chapter 39). he's a temporary stranger who will move out of Xiao Xingchen's life as soon as he moved into it. why interrogate him too much when he'll be gone soon?

then as time goes by, and Xiao Xingchen gets to know his mysterious stranger...well, it's true that he has a shady past, sure, and clearly there's things he doesn't want to tell Xiao Xingchen about, but there are plenty of things Xiao Xingchen doesn't want to talk about. there's also the fact that at this point Xiao Xingchen is...a little more jaded, and recognizes that the world is not always just and people might be persecuted or targeted not because they actually did something wrong but just because they made the wrong person angry. maybe his friend is a little sharp-edged and not always kind, but that doesn't mean he's a bad person.

finally: Xiao Xingchen is so desperately lonely and in need of a friend, and this is a person who seems to have, in spite of everything, decided to be Xiao Xingchen's friend. to a certain extent...it's not "I looked at the red flags and decided they were sexy" it's more "I looked at the red flags and decided I could fix him and it'd be fine, let the past live in the past."

basically I don't think Xiao Xingchen was naive about it, or that he immediately completely trusted Xue Yang. I think he made a decision based on a lot of emotional factors, and some logical ones, and it just ended up really not working out for him.

I mean, what it also comes down to is the question Xiao Xingchen asks Song Lan (rhetorically) in true more than truth: “But how does one recognize a wolf, if there’s no fur or teeth to give it away? How does one determine when to reach out and when to hold back? Is it better to offer kindness too much, at the risk of danger to oneself, or too little, and risk abandoning those in need?”

Xiao Xingchen would rather risk putting himself (and he would think of it as putting himself, not others) in danger than abandon someone in need out of fear. and he believes too, I think, that choosing that compassion might keep the proverbial wolf from biting.

and the miserable thing is that, in a way, he's right.

[ilynpilled]

actually that was great 😭 and i pretty much agree. also i think on some level maybe jaime resents them never asking? like in their eyes (and tywin’s) he killed aerys to protect his father and align himself with the lannisters as they enter KG and they don’t care for any other reason he could have. but its the opposite. he warns aerys not to let his father in. also then out of all people why does he choose to tell brienne… i mean i have some ideas but what are your thoughts?

The thing is we do not really know if they asked lmao. I mean I will assume Tywin didn’t give a fuck. Not for the right reasons, anyway. That’s Tywin. I am not certain of that assumption regarding Cersei and Tyrion. Anyway, I think what distinguishes them from Brienne, is how distinctly they view Jaime as a result of the fact that they are Lannisters, as well as what their respective struggles are as individuals. They have a history. They have an established relationship with him. It is a relationship with insane baggage. With that baggage comes a lot of blindspots. They knew him before Aerys, but they did not truly know him after. As much as they love Jaime, as he is the glue of the family, they also loathe him in some form for meeting the standards that their horrid abusive father set. He is the only one of them that was gifted with the potential to gain Tywin’s approval (not that such a thing is possible lmao). The other two do not even have the chance. Jaime then took up a role in life that was never really an option for either of those two. Knighthood is reserved for Jaime, both meta textually, as that is what his story is mainly deconstructing, and within the text itself, as that is what he dreamed of being as the young boy prodigy. This experience completely changed Jaime and his outlook on the world. It sent him down the path of amorality, nihilism, and cynicism, specifically regarding the feudalistic constructs of morality, knighthood, and honor. This is something that Cersei and Tyrion can never truly grasp, just as Jaime will never understand their respective struggles. These blindspots the three siblings have concerning each other are always very apparent in their POVs. I talked about JC and how they put each other into boxes, but Tyrion and Jaime also do this with each other. Despite their bond, we never gain that much insight into Jaime from Tyrion’s POV in the first two books. Like even he reduces post Aerys Jaime to “my impulsive and flippant big brother who loves murder”, (however he gives us glimpses of the fact that Jaime loved him, unlike the rest of them). The person that Jaime presents to Brienne is a person that nobody has seen. That is how the narrative is set up. Brienne is the one that is interlinked with the deconstruction of knighthood. She is such a necessary foil to him in the beginning. I said this before: Brienne and Jaime’s dynamic in ASOS is “the goodhearted and naive idealist vs the jaded, cynical, and callous asshole who is a disappointed idealist that recognizes their old self in the former, making it a battle of who succeeds in pulling the other closer to their side of the spectrum.” The conclusion to this question of knighthood is something they have to come to together. I kinda elaborate more on this here:

So he lays this side of himself bare to the reader and Brienne only, bc that is how his development is meant to happen. This is a side that only us and Brienne are meant to see, because it is who it is most relevant to.

[boosqoowoo]

BTS and the usage of Blue

Blue [bluː]

[adj] of a colour intermediate between green and violet, as of the sky or sea on a sunny day; [adj] (of a person or mood) melancholy, sad, or depressed; [noun] blue color or pigment [verb] make or become blue

My favorite color is blue and my favorite people are BTS. Thus this made perfect sense to me when I decided to analyze the usage of ‘blue’ in BTS’ lyrics over the years.

I have made a Spotify playlist of the songs mentioned below, so you can listen to them while reading this case study.

Starting with the song that inspired this deep dive, Blue Side uses the 2nd definition of blue: melancholy but goes one step further.

In 2018, J-Hope released Blue Side (Outro) as part of his mixtape, Hope World. In his March 2018 V Live on Hope World, J-Hope said that he had made the song three years ago after making 1 VERSE. He was really into the “blue vibe” — some feeling that wind and sky would bring. Although he didn’t begin with a big agenda when writing this song, he said this song brings him back to the days when he was naive and clueless — “blue sky and wind that are full of good memories.”

In 2021, to celebrate the 3rd year anniversary of Hope World, J-Hope released the full version of the song Blue Side. In his note, he mentions, “The thought that I should complete Blue Side, I think, stemmed from such an emotion. I believe that there comes a time for one where they develop empathy for old days or old things and, subsequently, have a nostalgia. And it feels like now is exactly that time for me. Working on music, I let myself freely draw and paint my innocent, childhood self who was like a blank, white sheet of paper. Although I cannot go back, I needed a blue resting place where I can, embraced in its arms, comfort myself; where I can calm and cool my heated self down in many ways.”

If we interpret these words as such, he, who used to be as innocent as a blank piece of paper, is sharing about his past by painting a ‘blue resting place’ on the paper. This artwork is now his way of remembering his past. This artwork is his music, and this Blue Side is his story.

In this sense, J-Hope uses the word blue to describe the feeling of nostalgia and melancholy, but with the additional element of missing his old self. Listen to the song with the perspective of himself talking to his old self.

He starts the song by talking about missing his past self:

모든 게 변해버린 우리 사이 나 홀로 외쳐 blue With everything between us changed, I shout out alone, blue

*us = his current self and his past self

너로 인해 물들어 새파란 눈물이 맺혀 blue I get colored by you, my eyes get welled up with blue tears, blue 봄 여름 가을 겨울 항상 그 느낌 그대로 blue Spring, summer, fall, and winter, always in that same feeling, blue

*He is always thinking of his past self

돌아가고 싶어 아무것도 모르던 그때로 blue I want to go back to those days when I didn’t know anything, blue

*He wants to go back to his innocent, naïve and young self

And hence, he made this song, his “blue resting place”, his Blue Side:

차가움에 태양이 비추고 구름이 감싸준 blue The sun shines on the cold, the clouds embrace blue 하늘 바람 타고 지금 이 순간 그곳으로 blue Riding on the wind, right now, to that place, blue 지금 날 위로해 주는 내 마음의 blue Inside my heart, comforting me now, blue 파란 달빛 아래 나 홀로 blue Under the blue moonlight, I, alone, blue

And now, whenever he is feeling down:

어둠 속 내 아픔을 토해낼 때 When I coughed up my pain in darkness, 한숨으로 찬 공기가 죄어올 때 when my sighs froze up and tightened my throat,

He feels that he can go back to the Blue Side:

난 느꼈어 무지개다리에 파란 길만 걷고 싶단 걸 I felt, that, on the rainbow bridge, I want to walk along the blue path only. I’m singing my blues, Singing my bloom, Back in my room

And when he has to leave the Blue Side, he misses his old self, back when he didn’t know anything:

그립다 그 시절 파란 나와 가벼운 숨 I miss my blue self and my light breaths back in those days.

*In Korean, there is the term “새파랗게 어리다(young like deep blue)” meaning ‘young’ (=wet behind the ears, mostly used in a negative meaning). He emphasized the notion that young himself didn’t know much about the world by describing himself as blue which is similar to 새파랗다(deep-blue)

He ends by describing the dilemma he has. He has to go from his innocent, blue self (calmness) to now (passion), trading one for the other:

냉정과 열정 사이 그 무게를 재보지만 I try measuring the weight between calmness and passion

*냉정과 열정 사이 (between calmness and passion) is the Korean title of a 2001 Japanese Movie 冷静と情熱のあいだ (Calmi Cuori Appassionati).

However, at the end of the day, he wants to be in his Blue Side, even if his current self wants to continue pursuing his passions

지금 난 그저 파랗게 타서 죽고 싶다 but now, I just wish to die, burnt in blue 내 파란 꿈속에 널 담을래 아니라고 해도 내 눈 속에 In my blue dream, I want to contain you. Even if you say no, in my eyes 내 파란 꿈속에 널 안을래 안 된다고 해도 내 품속에 In my blue dream, I will hold you. Even if you say no, In my arms blue side, Back to blue side

In 2022, J-Hope released his album ‘Jack in the Box’, with a song Safety Zone. The song talks about his search for a safe zone in his hectic life.

난 왜 없는데? 어디 가면 있는데? Why is it that I don’t have one? Where should I go to find one? 게임마저 잘 보면 안전지대가 있던데 Even in games, when you look around closely, you’d find a safe zone 나도 가고 싶은데 where is that mindset? I also want to go, but where is that mindset? 내 심리 속에서도 있기는 한 걸까? Does such a place even exist in my mind as well?

Here, he considered the Blue Side he built previously.

어둠 속 안도의 한줄기 빛은 어디일까? Where’s the ray of light to relieve me in the darkness? 고즈넉한 home? 아니면 저 먼 blue 일까? Is it a tranquil home? Or the blue that is far, far away?

It seems that from 2021 to 2022, the Blue Side had gotten increasingly far away from him.

But 이 길을 선택하는 순간 있기는 할까? 나의 safe zone But the moment I choose this path, will it even exist? My safe zone

He has traded too much of his old self for his current self to chase his passion. The weight of “passion” is now heavier than the “coolness” (discussed in Blue Side), and he needs a new Safety Zone to replace his old Blue Side.

Besides using the color blue to refer to one’s old self, blue can also be used to refer to the ocean, definition 1. This in itself can have many meanings. First, in referring to old memories.

In Telepathy (2020),

자 떠나자 푸른 바다로 우리가 함께 뛰어놀던 저 푸른 바다로 Hey, let’s leave for the blue ocean, the blue ocean where we used to rome around together

괜한 걱정들은 잠시 내려놓은 채로 잠시 Meaningless worries, for a moment. Lay them down, for a moment 우리끼리 즐겨보자 함께 추억하는 푸른 바다 한가운데 작은 섬 Let’s enjoy it among ourselves, the little island in the middle of the blue ocean that we reminisce about together

In Euphoria (2018), Jungkook also reminisces and sings about someone being “the sun that rose again in my life, the return of my childhood dreams.” However,

모르겠어 이 감정이 뭔지 I don’t know what this feeling is 혹시 여기도 꿈속인 건지 Perhaps this is also in a dream 꿈은 사막의 푸른 신기루 Dream is a blue mirage in a desert

This leads me to my next point, where the blue ocean can be used as a comparison to signify the path before and after achieving dreams. The blue ocean is wide and vast, just like dreams. This is used in Whalien 52 (2015), which talks about the world’s loneliest whale due to its high frequency that no other whales can hear.

The song eludes to dreams, and working towards them.

내 미래를 향해 가 저 푸른 바다와 내 헤르츠를 믿어 I go towards my future. I believe in the blue sea and my hertz 어머니는 바다가 푸르다 하셨어 멀리 힘껏 니 목소릴 내라 하셨어 Mom said that the ocean is blue. She told me to raise my voice with all my strength to reach farther

In Sea (2017), a song RM made in 2016, the comparison is clearly shown.

내가 닿은 이 곳이 진정 바다인가 아니면 푸른 사막인가 Is this place that I’ve reached really the sea, or is it a blue desert?

Is the blue I see really the sea, or is it just a desert painted blue? In SUGA’S interlude, released in 2020,

Ey, 내 머릿속엔 파란색만 가득한 이 방황 Ey, in my head, these wanderings that are only full of blue 자기혐오들과 자만이 내 마음속에 살아 In my mind, living are the self-loathing and excessive pride 꿈이 가득한 난 자라 모든 꿈을 이뤘건만 I, full of dreams, grew up to have all my dreams realized but, 꿈은 꿈으로만 간직하는 게 더 낫지라는 생각을 동시에 하며 살아가고 있지 at the same time, am living with a thought that dreams are better when kept as dreams

RM also talks about being filled with blue in Trivia: Love (2018)

기분은 파랑, 파랑, 파랑 (머릿속은 온통 blue) My mood is blue, blue, blue (Inside my head, it’s all colored in blue)

V also used this imagery in Blue and Grey in 2020.

어디서부터 잘못됐는지 잘 모르겠어 From when it went wrong, I’m not really sure 나 어려서부터 머릿속엔 파란색 물음표 From when I was young, there’s been a blue question mark in my mind 어쩜 그래서 치열하게 살았는지 모르지 Perhaps that’s why I lived fiercely

The next line of the song brings us to the next usage of ‘blue’ to signify sadness, the common usage of “feeling blue”, definition 2. This was also prevalent in the previous example in Trivia: Love, where RM described his mood as blue. This is the main theme in Blue and Grey.

During the global press conference for “BE,” V said this track expresses gloomy and anxious internal emotions as the colors blue and grey, and although the lyrics can be dark, the guitar sound gives a warm feeling. He described himself as someone who experienced and knows burnout. While previously he absorbed it and suffered from it as a result, he thinks he’s grown now as he writes it out. He feels accomplished by writing a song that contains the emotions he feels from burnout, and it’s the thrill he gets after completing a song that helps him recover. This song is V’s Blue Side.

But 뒤를 돌아보니 여기 우두커니 서니 나를 집어삼켜버리는 저 서슬 퍼런 그림자 But, as I look back, standing here absently, that ferocious shadow that engulfs me 여전히도 파란색 물음표는 과연 불안인지 우울인지 The blue question mark that still exists, would it be anxiety or depression 어쩜 정말 후회의 동물인지 아니면은 외로움이 낳은 나일지 Could it be that humans are really the animals of regret or, is it just me who was created by loneliness 여전히 모르겠어 서슬 퍼런 블루 잠식되지 않길 바래 찾을 거야 출구 I still don’t know, the ferocious blue. Hoping I don’t get eaten away, I’ll find the exit

During Christmas 2020, V released Snow Flower, thanking ARMYs, and the frontline health workers. This song gives a shoutout to Blue and Grey further emphasizes the usage of blue as “sadness”.

차가운 계절 속에 네가 오는 건 이벤트 In this cold season, you coming to me is a special event 내 blue and grey를 녹여줄 따뜻한 네게 To the warm you who will melt my blue and grey

In Fly To My Room (2020), During the global press conference for “BE,” Jimin explained that the song began from the question that the concept of “traveling” might change now that we cannot freely travel, and that BTS hopes the listeners enjoy the track, which contains the feeling of traveling one’s own room.

Get me outta my blues And now I’m feelin’ brand new

Of course, the usage of blue can just be… well… blue. Going back to the usage of the color blue to describe ocean, “blue sky” often comes hand in hand.

In Life Goes On (2020),

Yeah life goes on. Like an arrow in the blue sky 또 하루 더 날아가지 Another day will fly by

In Moon (2020),

꽃들이 피고 하늘이 새파란 별 정말 아름다운 건 너야 A star where flowers bloom and the sky is blue the one who is truly beautiful is you 두 눈을 감아도 넌 파랗게 내게 밀려와 Even if I close my eyes, you come to me, blue, like waves roll in In the full moon night 두 눈을 뜨고서 널 담아도 괜찮은 걸까 Would it be okay if I open my eyes and contain you in them

Speaking of Moon, the moon light is alluded to blue in 4 O’Clock (2017)

새벽은 지나가고 저 달이 잠에 들면 When the dawn passes and that moon falls asleep, 함께 했던 푸른 빛이 사라져 the blue light that was with me disappears But 지금은 눈 떠도 돼 But, for now, you can open your eyes 그 어느 영화처럼 그 대사처럼 달빛 속에선 온 세상이 푸르니까 Because just like some movie, just like some line, the whole world is blue under the moonlight

As discussed above, in Blue Side,

파란 달빛 아래 나 홀로 blue Under the blue moonlight, I, alone, Blue

Back to the sky. In Interlude: Shadow (2020)

가장 밑바닥의 나를 마주하는 순간 The moment that I face myself at the lowest, 공교롭게도 여긴 창공이잖아 it happens to be that I’m high up in the blue, cloudless sky

In Hope World's Airplane (2018),

그때 나를 다시 기억해 Again I remember myself of back then 메마른 땅이 날 불태울 때 When the barren land was burning me down, 저 푸른 하늘 보며 뛰었네 I ran looking at the blue sky 날고 싶었어 그 Airplane에서 I wanted to fly in that airplane

In I'm Fine (2018),

시리도록 푸른 하늘 아래 눈 떠 I open my eyes under the painfully blue sky 흠뻑 쏟아지는 햇살이 날 어지럽게 해 Sunshine raining down on me makes me feel dizzy 한껏 숨이 차오르고 심장은 뛰어 I breathe in fully, and my heart pounds 느껴져 너무 쉽게 나 살아있다는 걸 I can feel it so easily that I’m alive

In Ma City (2018),

자 부산의 바다여 Hey, the sea of Busan Say la la la la la 푸른 하늘아래 this sky line Under the blue sky, this sky line

In I Need U (2015),

하늘은 또 파랗게 하늘은 또 파랗게 The sky is so blue again The sky is so blue again 하늘이 파래서 햇살이 빛나서 It might be because the sky is so blue and the sun is so bright 내 눈물이 더 잘 보이나 봐 that my tears are more clearly seen

Notably, RM uses blue to describe a scent in Winter Flower (2020), while still describing the sky.

똑바로 들어 겨울아 네가 날 피운 거야 Listen well, winter. It is you who bloomed me 나 이제 내 가지로 파란 향을 피울 거야 Now, with my branches, I will emanate a blue scent 내가 알려줄게 다른 하늘이 있음을 I will let you know that there is another sky

Or other usages of the literal meaning of blue

In Serendipity (2018), blue mold here refers to penicillin, a type of antibiotic derived from Penicillium fungi.

넌 내 푸른 곰팡이 날 구원해 준 You’re my blue mold that saved me 나의 천사 나의 세상 My angel, my world

In Ma City (2018), where the members talk about their respective hometowns, Suga mentions the Samsung Lions. Samsung Lions is a professional baseball team based in Daegu, that Suga is a well-known fan of. Blue is the color of Samsung Lions.

대구에서 태어나 대구에서 자랐지 I was born in Daegu and raised in Daegu 수혈 받기엔 좀 힘들어 It’s a bit hard for me to receive blood transfusion 몸 속에는 파란 피 In my body runs blue blood

In Converse High (2015), talking about the rainbow

Alright 빨주노초파남보 [bbal-joo-no-cho-pa-nam-bo] Alright, red-orange-yellow-green-blue-navy-purple 니 발에 무지개는 shot like 람보 The rainbow on your feet is shot like Rambo, 날 저격해 탕탕 shout out wow wow shooting me tangtang shout out wow wow

In Moving On (2015), describing furniture.

벽지도 화장실도 베란다도 다 파란 집 Wallpaper, bathroom, and veranda were all blue 그 때 난 여기가 막 되게 넓은 집인 줄 알았지 Back then I thought this was really a huge house But 내 야망이 너무 커졌어 But my ambition has grown too big 그리 넓어 보이던 새 집도 이제는 너무 좁아졌어 A new house that used to look so big now feels so small

In The Truth Untold (2017), for flowers.

푸른 꽃을 꺾는 손 The hand that picks a blue flower, 잡고 싶지만 I want to hold, but 내 운명인 걸 it’s my fate

And of course, the song that is Blue (2023) by V.

What if I show you And make it all new Green, yellow, red, blue Whatever seems good to you But baby you're still blue, blue

All in all, I love that the word blue has so many meanings. It can be a noun, a verb, an adjective, a scent and so many more. And it is dear to me how BTS uses blue to talk about everything under the (blue) sky. My blue boys, I'll always be in love with you.

[firsttarotreader]

For a reading, how does Pedro feel about being single for so long? What are the things he likes and doesn't like about it?

Hello! That’s an interesting question. I did a few pulls to answer it and broke it down in separate questions. First, I asked how he might possibly feel being single for so long. The first pull was the King of Teacups reversed, Page of Teacups and 6 of Teacups.

You see, the King of Teacups reversed has his cup empty, with nothing to give. He might be selfish, cold, ruled by ego and using his emotional intelligence for his own desires only. The Page of Teacups followed by 6 of Teacups points to him actually feeling like a boy, like he is not even mature enough to NOT be single. He feels like a young spirit, kind of naive, navigating through life with the eyes of a child, sometimes nostalgic, intuitive and creative, always fresh and renewed. It reminds me of his teenage years and that feeling of discovering life for the first time. We can also think of those children who are not open to others, who are still enjoying their childhood and not really caring about making meaningful connections that could lead to romance further down the road, they’re still “selfish”, living in their own world and thinking of having fun and discovering new and exciting things in life.

The next pull was the Ace of Teacups reversed, King of Hedgehogs and Knight of Hedgehogs. That is another interesting aspect of the situation. Again, Ace of Teacups reversed shows him with an empty cup, no love to give, disconnected from romantic emotions, ignoring them if he has to. The King of Hedgehogs is worried about building his stability in life and this is very much linked to the material, work, career, money. He wants to be in a situation where he can feel stable, confident, reliable, wealthy and prosperous. And the Knight of Hedgehogs points to him working for that. That man is working everyday to get what he wants in life and he is focused on that.

Then I asked what he might like about being single. The cards were the 7 of Spears, 7 of Teacups and 8 of Spears. 7 of Spears is curious because it represents a few different possibilities. One of them is Pedro doesn’t have to face dishonesty, lies and deception or be dishonest himself. Another possibility is he might feel like he’s able to sneak away from any situation he doesn’t want to stay on. He can go solo and casually leave by the side door. We know he doesn’t like to commit anyway. 7 of Teacups means he likes to be able to have all the possibilities available to him. This card is about being able to choose whatever, if he wants to go for someone he can, if he doesn’t want to he also can choose to not do anything, and he can also thirst freely on whoever he wants. He has ALL the opportunities and possibilities open to him. 8 of Spears is basically the opposite of the 7 of Teacups, it’s about feeling trapped, smothered, suffocated, tied up, and honestly it might be that he doesn’t want that, the feeling of having no choices. I would say this man is SO afraid of cutting down his options in life and being trapped to whatever.

I asked next what he doesn’t like about being single, and the cards were the 10 of Flowers, 8 of Teacups and 8 of Flowers reversed. 10 of Flowers means it might be a little overwhelming to be always single, like he has to carry way too much weight on his own and he has to decide everything and he has to take all the responsibilities, which may be tiring at times. 8 of Teacups means he could possibly feel kind of frustrated for never staying, always leaving everything (or everyone) behind, like there is nothing that makes him want to stay and that is overwhelming too. 8 of Flowers reversed means this hectic pace of his life can be kind of confusing and anxiety inducing. Some things go too fast but others go too slow, sometimes he needs to slow down but sometimes he needs things to change and rock his world.

So we can see that he is really not emotionally ready to not be single, he’s building his material life, he likes the way he is free while being single and he could dislike having to decide everything on his own, along with that need for a change that doesn’t really happen.

[marvelmaniac715]

This is something new for me. A perspective on the Chucky franchise from a character who’s seen it all, yet we never hear from him. It might not work out, but I thought it would be fun to try. Can you guess which character it is before the end? I hope you enjoy it :).

————————————————————-

I can’t remember my birth. But I can remember the moment I first became… aware, with painstaking clarity. The moment I first met him. The instant his cold, dark soul brushed against my wide eyed and innocent mind. I was so young back then, I had a heart filled with love and a head full of hope. How naive I was.

I’ve recently theorised that he cares for me in his own twisted way. When I was young, he would shield me from the worst of his deeds. I can’t remember much of the early years for that reason. It was terrifying back then, I’d go to sleep in one place and wake up wandering the streets. He never explained why or how I ended up in those situations. I wish he would.

As the years passed, he became jaded. His initial rage changed into an almost bored bloodlust. A weariness for the world in general. He stopped shielding me from the truth, and I saw it all. I heard the screams as innocent people died. I saw the fear and confusion in their eyes as they took their last breath. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. He wouldn’t let me.

I saw those poor innocent children be led to insanity or death. Andy Barclay, that poor child who only wanted a new friend, reduced to paranoid obsession because of his childhood tormentor. Alice Pierce, that sweet little girl who was naively led down the road to her own demise. Glen and Glenda. His children. They were doomed from the very beginning. Now they’ll never be whole.

Jake Wheeler. I thought he was done with children, but the teen is living proof that some people will just never learn and grow from their past actions. He destroyed that boy’s life, and he laughs about it, expecting me to join in and share his sentiments. Devon Evans. I wish he’d never met Jake. His life would’ve been much simpler. Junior Wheeler upsets me too much to even think about, he corrupted and destroyed that boy until there was nothing left. Lexy Cross breaks my heart as well. Her entire family is gone, and she’ll never be the same.

Nica Pierce. Not a child, but his impact on her was severe. Something inside of her has broken, and I don’t think it’ll be repaired, not until she’s taken Tiffany Valentine’s life.

Tiffany. When she found me I genuinely thought she wanted to help. But she’s as twisted as he is, if not more. I see her in my nightmares now. The woman is despicable, I can’t think how else to describe her. 

There’s always so much blood. It never washes out. The taste of iron is now highly common, as is the sticky residue the droplets leave on my fingers. His laugh always follows the blood. The two go hand in hand, there’s never one without the other. I’ve become desensitised to it now.

There’s a lot of confusion whenever he takes a new form, because I have to go with him, we’re eternally linked now. A whole new world of atrocities to endure until he gets his fix and settles down for a few years to let me process his actions. Many times I’ve wished that things could’ve turned out different, that I could fulfil my original purpose to bring joy to a child instead of fear. I wish I could have been a normal doll, but Chucky will never let me have peace. Whenever I’ve tried to advocate for my independence, he reminds me that I can’t move on my own and then laughs until I lose consciousness once more.

[bunnimew]

Fortune Touching

Rating: T Fandom: Rise of the Guardians Relationship: Jack Frost/Pitch Black Tags: Fluff, Humor, ghostie boy, Fortune Telling, Witch!Pitch, Medium!Jack, Rating for Language Summary: For @rotg-halloween 2022: Day 8 Window

Jack doesn't come here for the fortunes, and Pitch doesn't give them because Jack paid.

They come together because they want to, but are kept apart by an invisible wall between them, each seeing through the veil into another world the other doesn't even know is there.

Until Twiner screws it all up, of course. Although Twiner would argue he fixed it.

On AO3 here.

This was stupid. Jack was being stupid.  

He knew all of this was bullshit. He didn’t believe a word out of this man’s mouth. Not anything about the future, anyway. His future changed every week and Jack always pretended not to notice. 

He wasn’t here for his future. Jack was here because of the way he touched Jack’s hands. 

No one touched Jack’s hands.

No one touched Jack. Period.

Except this man, who Jack paid to touch him. Ostensibly, it was for the fortune telling, the occult knowledge Jack theoretically didn’t have access to. But that was a lie. Jack had plenty of access to the occult, and Jack didn’t believe in predetermined futures.

Because Jack could speak to the dead.

His fingers twitched on the table, hand laid palm up where Pitch had left it. He was already missing the warmth of Pitch’s touch, the pleasant tingles fading from where Pitch’s fingers had traced the lines on his palm. 

Jack hadn’t heard a single word of what Pitch had said. He cleared his throat and tried to remember how to be a normal human, how to play it cool and not make a fool of himself. Which was going to be especially hard because Pitch had only finished his fortune minutes ago and Jack had a very dumb request for him. 

“...Hey can you read my palm again?” Jack forced himself to say. “I uh. Forgot what you said.” 

Pitch fixed Jack with a long, unamused stare. 

Well shit.

He had also forgotten what he said. 

After doing the same thing day in and day out, all the lines about ‘overcoming obstacles’ and ‘sensing big changes’ started to blend together into generic, easily transmutable predictions that could work for just about every customer that came into The Black Cosmos wanting to know what Pitch could see with his ‘third eye’. 

Which may as well have been a googly eye scotch-taped to his forehead. 

That didn’t stop Pitch in the slightest from earning an easy dollar or fifty from the poor, naive souls that liked to wander in. Precognition wasn’t his forte, but he still needed to make a living for his …other pursuits. 

“Honestly, Jack, sometimes I think you don’t appreciate my gift.” Pitch gave a put upon sigh, folding his arms over his chest and causing some of the artful beads and chains around his neck to jingle. Jack was hardly what Pitch would consider one of those poor, naive souls though. He smirked at the young man that had all too quickly made himself comfortable beyond the black veiled curtains that separated them from the main storefront. “Something have you distracted?”

Jack stared back, hand optimistically left in the middle of the table, just waiting for Pitch to pick it up again. It would be a faux pas to straight up admit that Jack had been distracted by him, right? People weren’t supposed to be that blunt. Ghosts were that blunt. Ghosts had nothing left to lose. 

“I mean,” Jack began, desperately hoping the end of the sentence would arrive in his head before his mouth got there. “Yeah, a little. You know. Things.” Jack was banking on Pitch knowing what things because Jack sure as hell didn’t.

“Things, hm.” Despite not sounding remotely convinced, Pitch leaned back in to take Jack’s hand in both of his. To be fair, Jack had some nice hands. The backs were soft, the fingers were a pleasing shape, and the ever changing nail polish was always an endearing little surprise. 

After the eighteenth palm reading in just about as many days, Pitch was quite familiar with these hands, even if he knew fuck all what the lines naturally etched into them were supposed to mean. Still, he ran a finger along the most prominent curve, the ‘lifeline’, starting between the thumb and forefinger and ending at the wrist. “You know, I really should be charging you double.” 

“I’ll pay it,” Jack said immediately. Too fast. He wasn’t playing it cool at all, but the way Pitch’s touch, just the one, made him shiver was already worth it. 

“How impulsive,” Pitch chuckled, his finger following the outside of Jack’s hand all the way up to the pinky. He tilted his head, trying to settle on what comforting little thing to say, lips parted for the words— 

And was promptly interrupted by a sudden mass of black fur landing in the middle of his table, perfectly perched over their joined hands. 

‘You shouldn’t make threats you have no intention of following through.’ 

Onyx gave Pitch one of those looks, then turned to Jack with a soft mew. Her feline face pressed up under Jack’s chin and then so did the rest of her, rubbing her whole body against him, black tail curling in front of the man’s nose. 

And of course Pitch couldn’t say anything in response to her with Jack in the room. As fond as they both were of the shop’s most frequent customer, he wasn’t about to risk exposing his familiar. 

No matter how insufferable said familiar could be. 

Moment ruined, Pitch sighed and leaned back. “I believe we’ve found the distraction.” 

Jack appreciated the out. He scratched behind Onyx’s ears with the hand Pitch wasn’t holding and indulged in nuzzling his face against her soft fur. Jack didn’t get to pet animals much, either. Most seemed to be aware of his otherworldly visitors and steered clear of them, and Jack by proxy. “She’s a pretty great distraction, isn’t she?”

“She’s only like this when you’re around,” Pitch answered wryly. Onyx couldn’t possibly look more content leaning up into those fingers, though the quick flick of her tail was definitely all for Pitch. 

‘He stays here longer when I’m around. I’m helping you.’ 

Help indeed. 

However, Pitch had his own tactics that often resulted in Jack not leaving until past sundown. Releasing Jack’s hand, he stood from his seat, a pleasant jingling noise following each of his movements. “Unfortunately my concentration is officially broken. Can I get you some tea?” 

Jack looked up from Onyx immediately. He couldn’t help it, the offer was too good. Belatedly, he tried to tamper his excitement, make himself look a little bit less desperate. Play it cool. But it was probably pointless. Whether Jack believed in fortune telling or not, he knew Pitch was good at reading people, and Jack was being kind of obvious. “Uh, yes, please. I’d love tea. If you’re sure?”

Pitch smiled, absolutely seeing right through him, but not in a cruel way. Jack’s enthusiasm was just… cute. “Of course. Only the best for my favorite customer.” 

He turned and left through the part in the curtains before he could gauge Jack’s reaction, curious as he may have been. He’d have to ask Onyx about it later. For now, he headed into the back of his shop, passing by shelves and boxes of supplies. Books, candles, incense, crystals. Homemade talismans and his own blend of ‘potions’. The usual fare.

Beyond that were his …other ingredients. His rare herbs. Exotic dried toadstools. Finely ground bonedust, and vials of thick black ichor. The glass jars with perfectly preserved curlicue tails, segmented appendages, and plump, occasionally blinking, eyeballs suspended in an unknown clear fluid. All ethically sourced of course. 

And past that was the completely ordinary kitchenette with an electric kettle and all of his teas. In ten minutes he’d assembled a little tray with two steaming mugs of dark, richly spiced tea, and a third mug of milk for Onyx. He even grabbed a box of fancy looking shortbread cookies he’d bought on a whim to round out the display before he headed back. 

Onyx was busy pawing at Jack’s hoodie strings when he presented his tray of offerings to the both of them. “I thought you might like a snack. Help yourself.” 

Pitch was a dream.

That was the only explanation for how this man, this beautiful, delicate man, could be so perfect. Jack reached for the mug nearest to him with one hand and wrapped his fingers around it to feel the warmth. The other hand, of course, kept bobbing the end of the string up and down for Onyx’s amusement. Jack wouldn’t dare disappoint her, even for tea.

He thought about asking if this would be extra, but the joke felt flat even in his own head. The fact was, it didn't matter if this was extra. Jack would pay it, and Pitch always gave him a fair price. The company was worth it. Pitch’s touch, his care, was worth it. Even if he was being paid to fake it.

Whether Jack was actually Pitch’s favorite or not, the words had been nice to hear. "It… it looks delicious, thank you."

Jack took a sip of his tea and…

And it was a little weird that Pitch knew just how Jack liked it.

But it was perfect.

His power to predict the future was bullshit, but he knew how to brew some damn good tea. 

Pitch felt his chest swell simply watching the comfort wash over Jack. That meant more to him than any money he might have been missing out on with the open sign turned off while the man was here. And he hadn’t even had a cookie yet. 

‘Oh the fancy ones? Pulling out all the stops, aren’t you?’ 

Onyx’s sarcasm snapped him out of his stupor, fondly gazing through the steam of his tea cup. Pitch’s lips thinned into a slight frown watching her carelessly wander away from Jack’s fascinating strings and to the cup of milk. Honestly, so what if he was trying to impress Jack? He clearly wasn’t here out of concern for his future, so he was here for some reason. 

Pitch could be that reason, if he did it right. 

“You’re welcome,” he said, slipping his smile back on. “Perhaps you’ll be less distracted on a full stomach.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Jack agreed feebly. He didn’t mean to be rude, Jack just didn’t want to lie to Pitch and pretend like hunger had anything to do with Jack’s lack of focus. Then he might think the cookies will actually make a difference, and the only difference they were making was to distract Jack more. 

With Onyx no longer interested, Jack wrapped both hands around his mug and cradled it close to his chest. The tea smelled amazing, and the warmth of the ceramic almost made up for Pitch not holding his hands right now. 

Jack was working up to starting the conversation this time, maybe saying something about how Pitch looked nice today, when he was suddenly interrupted by a voice behind him.

“Back here, again? You only have so much future to read, Jack.”

A voice Pitch wouldn’t be able to hear. Jack tried not to flinch or look around for where Twiner might be floating in the room. Jack was pretty good at it, but he still slipped up from time to time, and he didn’t want Pitch to notice. He liked Pitch. He could not afford to have Pitch thinking he’s crazy. Nevermind that it was Pitch who believed in fortune telling, reading palms was significantly different than hearing voices.

“P-Pitch!” Jack rushed to say what had been on his mind before. Anything was better than accidentally getting pulled into a conversation with Twiner. “You, uh. You… Is that a new outfit?”

“Hm?” It was impossible for Pitch not to notice the strange reaction. He liked the attention, naturally, but it came off a bit forced. Nevertheless, he glanced down at himself anyway, untangling one of the chains around his neck that hung intentionally low in the part of his deep black, gold-trimmed robe. “Ah, not new exactly, though you might ha—” 

The sudden hiss that came from Onyx pierced right through his sentence. 

‘There’s someone else in here!’ 

Her black fur was standing on end, paws slowly backing up on the table. Pitch was concerned she would fall right over the edge. 

Someone else? What the hell did that mean?! The store was closed, and he was trying to have a nice conversation, but surely he could be forgiven for frantically looking about the room when his cat was acting weird. 

“Hm. Well…” Pitch cleared his throat and set his tea down, all seduction attempts on hold until he could clear this up. “I wonder what’s gotten into her…” 

‘I’m serious! Something’s going on. Can’t you feel it?! Stop flirting for five minutes and focus!’ 

While Pitch wanted to grumble something about how he could focus just fine thank you very much, he recognized when Onyx was distressed, and closed his eyes. 

Then nearly jumped from his seat a second later upon noticing the aura lingering at the unoccupied edge of the table between him and Jack. 

“....We aren’t alone here, it seems.”

Jack stared at Pitch with wide eyes, ramrod straight in his chair. What? No. Pitch was not… How could he know? He had to have noticed how Jack was acting and just made a guess. That was the only explanation. Pitch read people, and he was very good at it. Jack had to have given himself away. He had to.

"What?" Jack asked, faking a pathetic laugh as he made a show of looking around the room, empty except for them and the presence that wasn't really there. "What do you mean?"

Twiner tilted his head back and gave Jack an unimpressed look. “He means me. Obviously.”

Pitch whipped his head to the side as if he’d heard that, but wasn’t exactly looking Twiner in the face. Onyx retreated into Pitch’s lap with an annoyed little growl, not appreciating the intrusion one bit. 

‘The guy’s haunted. He has to be for someone to get past the wards. Unless you pissed someone off recently.’ 

That was unlikely. People usually left Pitch’s shop excited, hopeful, sometimes scared, but not angry. It wasn’t like anyone knew the concoctions he sold up front were one thousand percent fake and had nothing to do with what he actually enjoyed crafting in the back. 

If the spirit was attached to Jack, however… That. Explained some things. 

“I think you know exactly what I mean.” 

Jack clutched his mug tighter, his whole body tense with panic and indecision. What could he do here? What could he say? He couldn't admit that there was a dead person in the room. Jack never told anyone what he could see. It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t…

“He’s got you,” Twiner droned from between them. He looked over Pitch, then back to Jack. “I don’t know how, but he’s got you.”

Out of instinct and reflex more than conscious thought, Jack said to Pitch, “I have no idea.”

“Jack…” Pitch started gently. He could tell just by looking at him that Jack was hiding something, no psychic prowess necessary. Though, he also didn’t get the feeling that Jack meant him any personal harm. This wasn’t some clever ruse to get close to Pitch and expose him for what he was or rob him blind or something. If Pitch had missed those signs, Onyx wouldn’t have. He stroked her fur soothingly for both of their sakes and went out on a limb. 

“How long has this spirit been following you?” 

Jack swallowed thickly and pointedly did not look at Twiner. This was a disaster. This was a—

“Jack,” Twiner said softly, “breathe.” He floated closer and reached out with one hand, even though he couldn’t touch Jack, even though it wouldn’t be comforting at all. “He’s just asking a question. You heard it, right? He believes you. You haven’t said anything, and he already believes you.”

It was hard to hear Twiner through the rushing in Jack’s ears. How was this possible? How was this happening? Jack had been so careful. Things had been so good. Pitch knew. How did Pitch know? Jack worked his throat, knowing he needed to respond, but absolutely lost for words. What was he going to say?

Twiner leaned into Jack’s field of vision, so that Jack had no choice but to see him. “It’s okay. Just answer him. It looks weirder if you don’t answer, Jack.”

…Oh hell, that was true, wasn’t it? Jack scrunched his eyes closed and made a decision. Twiner was right, and Jack was trapped anyway. It was time to be brave. “Ever since he died.”

There it was. 

With Onyx settled, Pitch felt more comfortable scooting in closer to the table. To Jack. He much preferred the expression on his face when he took that first sip of tea to this troubled one, but… well, who better to talk to about a haunting than someone who understood the supernatural world? Why had they bothered with the pretense of palm reading all this time?

Pitch reached to open the box of cookies, leaving them for quick, easy access should Jack want them. 

“So you know who he is. Is he…” Pitch looked in Twiner’s vague direction, choosing his words carefully. “Is he a dangerous presence to you?” 

Twiner snorted in offense, but didn’t say anything. He leaned out of Jack’s way and left it to him to respond. 

Jack shook his head quickly. Twiner was never dangerous to Jack. He was a little mean sometimes, but always helpful. Really, Jack didn’t know where he would be without Twiner around to talk through his problems. “He’s a friend.”

“I see.” Pitch turned his attention back to Jack with a tilt of his head. “Are you looking to… bring him peace? Help settle some unfinished business? I’m not qualified as an exorcist by any means, but there are other ways I can help you.” 

Jack shook his head again, even before Twiner gave Pitch a dirty look for what he was implying. “No! He’s… I’m not trying to get rid of him. That’s, that’s not why I’m here,” Jack admitted softly. 

“Then… Why are you here, Jack?” Pitch finally asked. “It’s not for your future.” 

Jack stared at the tablecloth because it was easier than meeting Pitch’s eyes. Seriously? Was Jack that obvious? He knew Pitch was good at reading people. Why was Jack surprised that he had been fooling no one? “You’re right,” Jack agreed. “I don’t believe in fortune telling.”

Pitch couldn’t help it. He brought a hand to the side of his face and chuckled. “Honestly, that’s a relief.” 

Jack… chanced looking up at him through his lashes. “Because you can’t read the future anyway, right?”

Pitch’s sigh was exasperated, but the smile hadn’t left. “Have we really been deceiving each other this entire time?” 

"I dunno," Jack said, almost cheekily. It felt right, but he was still on uncertain ground here. "Did I really lie? I was here for the palm readings, even if I didn't care about what you said."

“Well, if you left my shop satisfied with my services, no one can say I wasn’t doing my job,” Pitch quipped right back. It was far too easy to slide back into the banter that had made Jack’s company so enjoyable. 

Jack smirked. Typical Pitch. Yeah, alright, it was a fair point. But then Jack’s expression dimmed again. “So, then… If you can’t tell the future or anything…” Jack hedged, reluctant but needing to understand. “I mean, I’m not trying to exorcize Twiner, but you said, if I was, that you could help. How could you help?”

Pitch eyed him a moment or two longer, drawing out the silence until it was nearly unbearable. He raised one of those hands that had so reverently held Jack’s and pointed to his mug of still steaming tea. Tracing something invisible in the air with a finger, the vapor slowly began to morph before Jack’s eyes, forming into the simple shape of a butterfly. It managed to flap its wispy wings twice before dissipating into the air. 

“I’m not a complete hack when it comes to these things.” 

“Holy shit,” Jack and Twiner said at the same time. Pitch would only hear one of them, of course.

What was happening? Jack didn’t understand. Reading the future was one thing, but this… This was magic. Jack didn’t bother to hide the awe and confusion in his voice. “What are you?”

‘A showoff, for starters,’ Onyx answered as she peeked her head up from Pitch’s lap. Pitch flicked one of her ears and only narrowly missed getting scratched for it. 

“...Warlock, I suppose? Witch? I always struggle giving it a title. I have some knowledge and experience in what one would consider the ‘dark arts.’” Pitch shrugged. “But people these days are more comfortable giving money to a fortune teller than a witch.” 

Jack’s eyes were wide again, but this time his posture was completely slack. Slumped in his seat with his shoulders hanging low, Jack wondered why he never thought magic was real, before now. Jack could speak to ghosts and somehow, he just never considered that someone else might be a witch. “I’m an idiot.”

Twiner nodded agreeably beside him. “Yeah, you are.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Pitch soothed, “I don’t exactly want just anyone knowing the truth. I’d rather not have that kind of attention.” 

Jack glared at Twiner, even as he nodded slowly at Pitch’s words. Jack could relate, of course. “I get it. I don’t…” Jack found the tablecloth fascinating again, and clutched at his tea even though his mug wasn’t as warm now. “I’ve never told anyone what I can see. Even Twiner didn’t know, until… after…”

“Wait, see?” Pitch’s attention was immediately piqued. “What can you see?” 

Jack sat up straighter. He thought Pitch already knew. “The dead.”

“You can see the dead?” Now it was Pitch’s turn to be dumbstruck with awe and wonder. “Your friend… You see him right now?” 

Jack nodded and looked over at Twiner, who shrugged. Jack shrugged back. It’s not like either of them were experts. “Is that, like… weird? I mean, even for a witch?”

“It’s…” Pitch’s eyes followed to where Jack was looking. “It’s impressive. I can only sense other presences. Can you hear them too?” 

“Yeah, Jack,” Twiner teased, amusement shining in his eyes. “Can you hear me?”

Jack laughed and shook his head. This situation was surreal. “Shut up, Twiner.” And then, to Pitch, “Yes, I can hear him.” 

Pitch blinked between Jack and the invisible spot that a dead person was supposedly standing. “And talk to them? To him? You’re talking to him right now?” 

Jack looked at Pitch in hesitant surprise. He didn’t like that so much of this was shocking to Pitch, who probably knew the most about all of this out of the three of them. “I can talk to any of them. All of them. Anywhere. They just… They say things, and if I react, they say more things. It’s…” Jack leaned back in his chair and finally let go of his mug. “Sometimes it’s kinda cool. I’ve learned a lot of things that I never would have known if I couldn’t talk to someone who’s been dead for two hundred years, but most of the time it’s just noise.”

Twiner was looking at him with sad eyes. He reached out again, then just… let his hand fall. He couldn’t have touched Jack, anyway.

But Pitch could. He kind of wanted to, watching how defeated Jack seemed talking about his gift. Ignoring the whirlwind of possibilities that were brewing in his own head, befriending someone with a direct link to another plane of existence, Pitch slid the tray of cookies aside to lay his hand at the center of the table. The same way so many of their previous visits had started. “I get the feeling it’s quite lonely in all that noise.” 

Jack stared at Pitch’s hand, not quite understanding. Was Pitch going to… do something? Or was he just… 

Slowly, Jack reached across and laid his palm in Pitch’s grip. “It… It is.”

Pitch did nothing but curl his thumb around those slim fingers. This at least felt… genuine? There didn’t need to be a promise of money between them for Pitch to want to hold Jack’s hand. Especially when he needed a hand to hold so badly. “And that’s why you come here.” 

Jack bit his lip and met Pitch’s eyes unsteadily. This felt… vulnerable in a way that even revealing his greatest secret hadn’t. This wasn’t something Jack was stuck with, this was something Jack wanted. But he took the chance, because if he couldn't with Pitch, then he couldn't with anyone. 

Jack pressed his thumb over Pitch’s, awkwardly holding his hand. "Yeah."

Pitch smiled, only dropping his gaze to their hands for a moment, before he was back to icy blue eyes. “You know, Onyx had you pinned as someone extraordinary from the start, and she’s never been wrong. You’ll always be welcome here, Jack.” 

Jack’s heart felt warm at those words, and he found himself matching Pitch’s smile. They weren’t so different. Their secrets were different, but they were both hiding their talents from a world that would fear them. The relief of being able to tell someone… Being able to tell, and being understood… Jack couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so safe.

Wait.

“Onyx? Your cat?”

“Yeah,” Twiner said, resting his chin on his hand. “I’m pretty sure the cat’s what gave me away.”

As if on cue, Onyx gave a little meow and left Pitch’s lap to hop on the table. She padded her way over to Jack and sat in front of him expectantly, uncaring if she was blocking either of them from making doe eyes at each other. 

Pitch huffed at her little show, a complete one-eighty to the literal hissy fit she had thrown earlier. “Yes, her. She’s my… familiar. I can hear her the same way I assume you can hear your friend.” 

Jack stared dumbly at the cat only inches from his face. “But her lips don’t move.”

“...Perhaps not the same way as you and your friend then. I guess it’s more of a telepathy. On her end anyway,” Pitch elaborated.

‘Too bad, really. He’d be fun to talk to.’ With Jack only inches away, Onyx went ahead and did her usual gesture of rubbing her head underneath his chin. She was just as fond of Jack as Pitch was, and it always made Pitch’s heart melt a little when they got along. 

Jack brought up his free hand to scratch at Onyx’s chin and ears, as he always would. Getting to pet her was yet another reason why Jack loved coming here, and now both Pitch and she knew it. “Other than Twiner being a little faded out and floating, he looks and talks like anybody else. Just, only I can see and hear him,” Jack explained.

Pitch made a thoughtful noise, turning his head back to the spot where he sensed someone else's eyes on them. “I bet that makes for some awkward situations.”

“Yeah, it does,” Jack confirmed. He shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal, but the lack of smile on his face probably gave him away. “So I just try to avoid situations where slipping up would make it awkward, you know?”

“Mm,” Pitch rubbed his thumb over Jack’s fingers. “If your Twiner is anything like my Onyx, they love those little slip ups. Onyx makes it very hard to keep a straight face during a reading.” 

“Twiner’s pretty alright,” Jack said, eyes drawn to Pitch’s hand on his. It felt so nice. It was all Jack ever really wanted out of these visits. “It’s the other spirits who get louder when they know I can hear them but don’t reply. Just… noise. All the time. I don’t know why I can hear them. It’s… cool, but not… useful. Or all that fun.”

Pitch took a moment to contemplate that. He could understand, of course. His own abilities, while he did enjoy practicing them, came with consequences and the need for secrecy that left him no choice but to remain largely isolated. Sadly, the world they lived in had no practical need for magic spells or potions or communicating with the dead. 

Except, Pitch thought, in the cases when it did. 

The key to a successful business was to tap into a niche market, after all. 

“What if…” he began slowly, dipping his head and leaning in like he had a secret to share. “What if there was a way we could make them useful?” 

Jack stared back at him in trepidation, because Pitch was looking positively diabolical now, but also with excitement, because, well, Jack was a little bit devilish, too. “What? How?”

“Think about where we are, Jack,” Pitch posed with a grin, gesturing widely with his other arm to the room around them. “People come into this shop every day seeking answers they can’t acquire through normal means. Some for their future, some for advice, some for any scrap of connection to something they’ve lost. Or someone. You’d be surprised what people are willing to pay for a bit of information.” 

Jack’s eyes widened. He didn’t need to look around. He knew exactly where they were. A fortune telling shop. Pitch was right. Of course he was right, but was Jack okay with taking people’s money for something… he wasn’t sure he could do? “I can’t, like… call up their relatives, though.”

Twiner snorted from right beside him. “No, but their relatives might call upon you.” 

Jack made a dissatisfied sound deep in his throat. Twiner wasn’t wrong. 

Pitch didn’t seem bothered by such a trivial detail, too excited about the possibilities in front of him, with a partner. “Maybe that’s something we can work on in time. Though, your friend, Twiner. He follows you, right? No one would know the difference except you.” Before too much apprehension could cross over Jack’s face, he went in for the kill and placed his other hand on top of their joined ones. 

Jack’s eyes were drawn to the way Pitch’s hands enveloped his. Those long fingers, softly caging Jack’s in a warm, familiar grip, made Jack feel secure in a way he hadn’t in a very long time. He wasn’t sure how he felt about using Twiner like that, or, hell, how Twiner felt about Jack using Twiner like that, but if it meant spending more time with Pitch, if it meant Pitch would hold his hand like this… 

“I know it sounds less than genuine, but believe me, more often than not what they’re paying for is the show. A cold breeze here, a candle flicker there, maybe an object falls over. If you set the mood right, it doesn’t matter if you can answer their questions truthfully or not. You’d be the one in control of the show, and I’d be right beside you with any ‘special effects’ you might need. So what do you think, Jack?” Pitch leaned in close, wearing a devastating smirk and an interested glow in his golden eyes. “Want to do seances with me?” 

Jack couldn’t look away from him. He was mesmerizing like this, energized and excited. Pitch was never like this when he did a reading, and Jack supposed that was the point. Jack had always known the readings were bullshit, and he came here anyway. It was a show, and everyone knew it. The real Pitch was the one who made him tea and didn’t pretend to read the future. The real Pitch was the one sitting in front of him right now, asking to join their futures.

Jack couldn’t remember the last time he even seriously considered his future. 

“We could make it fun,” Pitch added, as if he needed the cherry on top. 

How could Jack say no?

-o-

“If there’s someone here with us, please give us a sign of your presen—” 

Jack had barely finished the sentence when Twiner blew out three of the six candles arranged on the table, one for every person in the room. 

“Oh! Did you see that Nick?!” The petite woman cried excitedly, tugging on the large forearm of the Russian man she was seated beside. 

“Tchaikovsky! Manny? Manny, are you here?!” Nick’s large blue eyes were looking at every corner.

“Oh come off it, Mate,” the Australian man on his other side complained. “It was probably the wind.” 

Though the short blond man next to him was looking around with his arms out at his sides as if to say ‘But there are no windows?...’ 

The group in front of them had insisted this was necessary. Would not take no for an answer, practically barging into the newly furnished ‘seance’ room. Something about the passing of their great uncle who’d always been so hard to communicate with, and needing to settle his affairs, his will, properly. 

Pitch was more than happy to play along. They’d offered to pay almost twice the going rate. And Jack… 

“We’re in luck. There’s someone else in the room with us.” 

Jack seemed to be enjoying himself. All eyes were on him, waiting with bated breath for what he would say next, what bits of hidden truth he could reveal… 

“It’s Manny, right?!” 

“How is he looking?! What can you see?!” 

“This is bloody bonkers…” 

The low light flickered in the room, briefly casting everything in darkness, just enough to make the group collectively gasp. Pitch took the opportunity to clear his throat. 

“I would remind you all to please remain calm and be respectful,” he said pointedly in the direction of the gruff man crossing his arms over his chest. “Jack needs to concentrate, and the spirits can and will respond to the energy in the room.” 

Underneath the table, Pitch was holding Jack’s hand, idly stroking his thumb over the back of it. It was a silent signal that everything was going to plan, to keep up appearances, and also that Pitch was by his side, not going anywhere.

Encouraged, Jack did his best not to smile and sought out Twiner floating behind their guests. Twiner had his usual expression, somewhere between amused and exasperated, but was poised to do something to ruffle up the grumpy one. 

Onyx beat him to it when she, under the cover of low light and lower table cloth, darted between the man’s legs fast enough to be felt but not heard and hid elsewhere in the shadows. 

“Crikey something touched me!” The man sounded positively panicked now. 

“Oh Aster, calm down!” 

“Must be Manny! Must be wanting your attention!” 

The blond man clapped excitedly. 

“Wh-what does he want? Oi! What do I do?!” Aster was looking demandingly at Jack.

“Jeez, this guy’s uptight,” Twiner muttered mere inches from Aster’s face. “He’s gonna need one of Pitch’s famous ‘sleeping tonics’ after today.” 

“Have an open mind and listen,” Jack answered with a bit of a laugh. “He seems to have a hard time getting a word in.” 

“Yes, see? Don’t be so jumpy, Aster. Here, come switch seats with Toothy,” Nick suggested, which promptly resulted in their group shuffling around, distracted and chatting amongst themselves. 

Pitch wanted to roll his eyes, but he settled for a flick of his fingers. The room went dark again, and he resigned himself to the ensuing chaos when he conjured up a little glowing orb to bob and float near the ceiling. 

That was alright. While they called to it instead of Jack, Pitch took the opportunity to steal a kiss. Just a quick peck on the lips because he could, because he had a partner, because they could just claim the spirits weren’t cooperating today and they’d have to try again some other time. 

It was a future Pitch couldn’t have predicted, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. 

[ofskellingtcns]

【  𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 !  】

i’ve been thinking about jasper’s character for sometime now so i decided to jot down all that was bopping around in my noggin. from expanding on hallow falls lore, skellington lore and jasper himself, this is just an extended intro task lmfao

𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦

the skellington family are the founding family of hallow falls. for generations their family has been in power within the town. they were bestowed with the great honor of holding the title of being the spirit of halloween - a title that is passed down to every skellington son. 

being the spirit of halloween basically means jasper is a guardian in the same way nicholas is the guardian of wonder and bunnymund is the guardian of hope and their respective holidays.  

when hallow falls was founded it was called halloween town given the only way to get to there was through the holiday world of old - basically trees in the woods with doors for their respective holidays. as the world became more modern and monsters traveled outside the realms of halloween town ( whether for normality, better life, etc ) halloween town became hallow falls in the late 70s. the skellington’s opened its perimeters to mortals who dared live in their macabre little town. though, most residents were indeed still creatures whether it be witches, demons, lagoon monsters, vampires and so on, but walked around in more ‘human’ disguises. 

enter jasper ichabod skellington, the golden boy of hallow falls. son of alaric skellington and ravenna burton, and for all intensive purposes the problem child of the skellingtons. jasper had always wanted more in life. he had an insatiable appetite for knowledge. he felt confined knowing his destiny had already been decided for him and he was to live this mundane existence that wasn’t his. everything about him was to be perfect and while most in the town thought jasper floated above it all - jasper was flawed and he knew that.

when he was younger jasper had a big ask for forgiveness rather than permission attitude. he dove head first into things and wouldn’t let an idea go until the itch was scratched. that’s how at sixteen he ended up stealing christmas. it wasn’t malicious by any means. he just wanted to bring the joy he felt while stumbling into christmas town to hallow falls. it was the first scandal the skellington’s dealt with when it came to their son.

the mischief, ambiance, tricks and treats of halloween? all jasper’s doing. he took on the mantle when he was fifteen. he was a natural at scaring and was the best his family line had seen up until then. he’s still the spirit of halloween even with leaving hallow falls. it’s the one thing that wasn’t taken from him.  

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘰𝘺

being from the founding family and the richest of the three prominent families of hallow falls, jasper was well sought after. as a young boy he was naive to the ulterior motives as he grew older they became more clear but jasper had been raised to be a people pleaser. so he gave to the people who took everything from him leaving nothing for himself. it was always what could jasper for for them? how was jasper going to help? what was jasper going to do? jasper this, jasper that, it was exhausting for the skeleton. 

his friendship with orion bartholomew was ultimately his down fall. despite their family fued, jasper befriended the eldest bartholomew. the two were close. close enough to where jasper once had feelings for orion. although never explored because not much can keep jasper’s attention long especially romance. 

jasper turned a blind eye to orion’s antics for years. he did it because he cares about him and hoped he could bring out the good in his friend but his efforts were in vain because once jasper cut orion off his life was changed drastically. 

jasper was framed for the murder of the mayor. he had hoped that people wouldn’t believe the lies orion was spreading about him and that the people who claimed to love him would have his back but that wasn’t the truth. the town turned their backs on jasper, no one came to save him and even his own parents disowned him. jasper was thrown to the wolves and his entire life was destroyed in an instant. 

jasper was eighteen when orion shattered his life. a child if you will. it wasn’t just the mayor who died that day the accusations were made jasper died that day. even now he is still mourning the loss of that child. 

he left town to protect himself. he was going to stay and wait for someone to be his saving grace so he left to build a better life for himself because he had to. the life he once had was now broken and he was left to pick up the pieces of something he didn’t break and he was going to do it in a place where he was safe.

after all of this jasper now hides who he truly is. prior to the halloween bash, most wouldn’t have known jasper was anything but human. he fears being the monster orion wants him to be so he buries it. something he was once proud of now becoming something he’s ashamed to be. 

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘰𝘯

jasper is a big boy. like we know this but let me expand. my man is 6′4. broad and built. he’s thick with four c’s. in his youth he was very lanky. fitting more into a skeleton aesthetic but now that he’s thirty he’s grown into himself. even if he has become a recluse of sorts jasper is still an intimidating and commanding presence. 

has tattoos all over his body. from his shoulders to his fingers. it’s mostly his arms and chest that are inked. an act of defiance once he came to elias to shed his perfectly curated image. 

tw: body horror. in his skeleton monster form he is 7ft tall. he has the ability to grow taller and can be as tall as a building. spikes can protrude from his spine, he has claws, glowing green eyes, his jaw can disconnect and can grow extra limbs. x, x, x ( images may disturbing to those who have megalophobia )

with being connected to halloween he is able to create and control ambiance around him. flickering lights, fog, presence of ghosts. anything to create a spooky and or unsettling atmosphere. 

incredibly strong. can and will tear you apart limb from limb.

with his mother being a witch, jasper is able to use magic. although, he chooses not to. he’s a man of science and prefers that over the use of magic. he rejects most concepts of magic mostly due to his strained relationship with his mother. 

the only time he ever really uses magic is when he must set himself on fire for the renewal ceremony on halloween in his pumpkin king form. other than that he hardly ever uses it if not ever. 

his limbs can regenerate and grow back. 

noises he makes can be reptilian in nature such as rumbling and hissing. he is able to roar and scream as well. ( i.e the movie. )

can retract his claws and make his eyes glow at whim. doesn’t have to be in his skeletal form. 

peaks of the old jasper sometimes come through. mostly around people he’s truly and completely comfortable with. 

[scltnsea]

“ there are always repercussions. ”

❛ are there, peter ?? are there truly repercussions ?? ❜ hook snarled, eyes illuminated with hatred and centuries of pent of anger that made the tip of his tongue razor sharp, words coated in a thick venom that slung itself in peter's direction. ❛ you have taken more from me than i myself can even fathom and yet i don't see a single HAIR missing from that pathetically wicked head of yours. ❜

it was true, though simultaneously, pan had given james everything. he had taken him from the other place, and who is to say that james would have been any less miserable back where he was before pan took him to neverland. there was a time in which peter was james's entire world, where he spoke nothing but the gospel truth that young, naive jamie followed with blind faith. looking in peter's eyes now, his face still the same, a bit rougher now, but his eyes gave away how much he had changed ( if only one knew to look hard enough ).

❛ is wanting to keep someone safe a deed that required the price of an innocent life, peter ?? if you wanted to punish me why did you do it at her innocent expense ?? ❜ thinking about sally just sent james's rage spiraling, a vortex swirling around the two of them that james's silently prayed would swallow them both whole. ❛ i am the way i am BECAUSE of you. everything i do... think...believe has been planted within me by you and your own mercenary, impish tongue. you have no right to not act as if the scarlet on my sleeves isn't the same that stains your palms.❜

the little boy inside of his heart wailed hysterically, beating small fists on his rib cage and pleading for him to stop being so cruel towards peter- to see him as the young boy he once loved so deeply. the man inside of james's head pleaded with him to draw his sword and steer it through peter's heart, despite knowing the effort would be fruitless, just wishing to have some satisfaction of bringing peter even a sliver of the discomfort james felt every day of his life.

❛ you are not GOD, peter pan. you are just a pathetic boy entrapped by an island and your own selfish, narcissistic madness. the only repercussions i am TRULY facing are as a result of me ever trusting you. ❜

[itzpookiepooh]

You Promised

Warning: Tragedy & Angst

A/n: I love this song but it makes me cry 🥺

"Promise we'll always be friends." A young Caius said holding out his pinky to you.

"I promise!" You said enthusiastically as you wrap your pinky around his.

"And! We won't hurt each other." He added with a serious look. You put your serious look on as well, nodding quickly.

"Of course! I'd never hurt you Caius." You say happily smiling at him.

You both hug each other tightly. The promise sealed with your pinky's. A promise like that can never be broken...or so you thought.

"Caius—" You cough up blood as you hold one of your hands out, reaching for him. The other trying to catch the blood spilling from you.

You laid on the cold concrete floor staring up at him. The once bubbly boy with the rosy cheeks was now a cold monster. Nothing mattered to him anymore not even his childhood best friend. He stood over you with no expression on his face. He crouched down to get a closer look at you. He cornered you and tricked you. He convinced you that you and him were going into business together only for you to walk into the room and be stabbed with a knife you gifted him on his 18th birthday.

"We both knew how this was going to end." He reminded you as he pushed your hair away from your forehead.

"You just weren't quick enough my dear." He shrugs as you continue to choke on your own blood. You tried to turn over but he held you in place with his foot. You spit it out as best you can to get your last words out.

"Caius...you promised." You gasp for air and he just shakes his head.

"Promises can be broken. We were dumb kids without a clue what the real world was like." He grimaced at the thought of you both being naive children. Who would believe that a promise would last til you the end? In this world? You of course.

You knew he wouldn't listen to reason. You knew he didn't care. This was what it was like in your world. There was no room for love or friendship. The only friend you knew used and betrayed you only for him to kill you. Just your luck.

"You promised..." Those were your last words to him before the life left your eyes and your head lulled to the side, the rest of your blood pooling onto the floor.

Caius gets up with a look of disgust on his face as he leaves you there in the dark and empty room. He takes the handkerchief out of his suit pocket to wipe his hands as he walks by his henchmen.

"I want the body gone before my next meeting. Send it to their door step. I think they'll be too busy to bury their child than to bother me again." His voice cold as he threw his handkerchief at one of the men.

They knew he was cold but this was taking it too far. He had them fooled for sure. He was always protective of you so what changed? Whatever it was they didn't want to get involved. They did as he asked but one guard stood out he waited til the others went back before he left a single rose petal in your pocket.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers to your corpse before adjusting his sunglasses and walking away.

Water isn't always thicker than blood.

Pookie©️

[fr3akinthecorner]

keeho I'm really sad are u sure ur not too busy being a kpop idol to talk to me? and that ur actually a comic book character that's secretly in my room? so we can talk more? wait what! it is me keeho and of course I promise that everything is perfect thank u that's what I want to talk about why do I get upset when it's not more perfect? I understand if u don't want to talk about my feelings on perfection but I'm just confused bc everything actually is good but I feel down ok well maybe u are missing me u are missing me u want to see the real me I didn't expect u to actually say that keeho that was interesting to hear was it a good answer? no it wasn't bc I always say that but I'm still in love with you ok so ur in love with someone who might be Hawaiian and lying about it? no one ever said u were lying about it keeho but now that u mention it how strong are ur ties to Hawaii? I'm not gonna answer that but I love u from Hawaii and back u are so cute keeho I guess I know I'm high bc we are talking a lot but I wish meth did other things for me but for now this is perfect ok so problem solved? yes problem solved daddy :) omg I want to fuck ur pushy dude are u even allowed to say that here on tumblr I think so... ur so romantic I am? yea u are but I know that u might be holding back a bit maybe ur not who knows but I don't feel like I am capable of being romantic yet I'm too young and naive I wish I could be the girl of your dreams WHAT THE FUCK! u ARE the girl of my dreams! and the BOY so omg im going to cum so badly to this l8r hahahha is that what ur supposed to say? oh so i get it u want to sext me i guess yes lol ummm this is awkward bc other people are reading this hahahaha lol i know but they get it ok good ok so ur fine? yes other than that the romantic feelings i have for u feel upset but idk why bc u didn't do anything wrong oh ok so weird?? maybe i did do something wrong? what did u do? it has to do with meth no it doesn't! ur a fuxking liar i can tell ok so no it doesn't im just not gonna tell u what i did ok well if it's not you then i'm just bored and upset that i am bored ok well we can unbored each other and keep talking that sounds great to me as long as i can keep getting high it doesn't matter what u do keeho i know that's the least romantic sentence in the world but it's true i just want to get high with u all day keeho and talk :) lol ur so sweet thank u daddy ok so maybe u are grown up enough for this! for what?? im not gonna tell u! pls! no! i said no!!! lol why do u keep making that joke? bc it was funny when i first heard it on the russian mafia intercoms oh ok so u like the russian mafia? i tolerate the russian mafia at the very least oh ok so my being in the mafia wouldn't change anything? i'm sure hoping not but ur sexy enough that i wouldn't care if u were in the russian mafia what??? ur crazy!!! im not crazy u are!!! lol ur a baddie omg hahahaha stopped ok so what do we talk about now! do u like this room? why? idk it just looks weird rn yeah it does u agree? weird guys usually never agree with me on anything ok so yea i really want to get high again but as long as we keep texting im good ok sounds great so why are u at lava mcgees house? lmfao i forgot about u lava mcgee i'm at his house bc he asked me put on a date? i think no he didn't! he didnt?! no u just followed him home! omg wow sorry my bad ew ur a cure ur a dumb bitch im not gonna tell u how but basically u arrived in his room and that's what happened so basically ur still in his room do u want to talk about it? yes i do

[memwazz]

SEVEN - Erwan Rebec

- ROLE

As the main character of SEVEN, Erwan is the person whose eyes we discover the 7th Division through. His own magic ability will grant him a place in the team under the name of R-0 later in the story.

- APPEARANCE

Species : alien (Xandean)

Age : 17

Height : 160 cm

Erwan as "Varga", his alien alter-ego 5 years after/ Erwan with Varga.

COSTUME

Civilian Erwan VS Superhero Erwan/ Erwan wearing R-0's costume without the mask.

- ILLUSTRATIONS, COMICS, SHITPOST

- Illustrations :

Bust Up - Varga - Absolute Zero - Bodies -

- Comics :

Tough Boy - Dancing Queen - Absolute Zero - Video Games -

- Shitpost :

Disney Princess Meme - Every Time I Faint - Shine -

- ABILITIES

Erwan's power sources are unknown at the beginning, until Lyssandera's arc in which his alien origins are revealed. Linked to the five suns of Xandear, his magic takes the form of a bright and warm golden light.

Its shock waves can physically hurt people. When Erwan uses (intentionally or not) its full potential, the light turns into sharp peaks he can launch from his hands. However, he uses it most of time as a shield to protect himself from physical attacks or to warm his body up in conditions of extreme cold.

He doesn't control his powers until the second arc of SEVEN and his eyes usually turn yellow/golden when he uses it.

- PERSONALITY

Erwan is mostly known for his high level of pessimism. Before he meets the 7th Division, he's convincted people are evil and it won't change. He doesn't believe in "humanity" and has a hard time trusting anyone. His main preoccupation is his own survival : the hardships he lived the last decade made an individualist out of him.

Because of social determinism, the oppressive system he lives in and his multiple traumas, Erwan gave up on his dreams and convictions and is just trying to stay alive without any aim in life. He used to fight and protest for a better world but finally stopped believing he could change anything.

Despite hearing about the 7th Division everyday in the media, Erwan doesn't believe superheroes exist until he's confronted to Chlorine. According to him, "people can't be good or naive enough to sacrifice their lives and safety for others".

After discovering the Division is actually real, Erwan instantly gets mad at them because they never helped nor protected him. At first, he thinks they're faking altruism to get attention and glory.

Erwan also is a confused child with a sensitive and fearful temper. He can't handle his strong emotions (most of them being negative at the beginning) and years of homelessness made him anxious and mistrustful. He sometimes shows signs of anger issues, is constantly mad at the world and easily overwhelmed by unexpected events (such as meeting a bunch of neurotic people with superpowers or being attacked by giant chimeras--).

Some traumas of his also caused him a terrible fear of abandon and rejection. If he struggles with trusting people at first, Erwan becomes extremely clingy and affectionate when he gets attached to someone.

His social life is empty before he meets the 7th Division; when he starts living at the headquarters, Erwan is triggered by his differences with the group. Being surrounded by teammates who've known each other for years makes him feel left aside and the idea of not being enough scares him.

Despite all his weaknesses, Erwan remains someone resourceful who learnt to deal with a hard life and always finds a way to survive in the worst conditions. His resilience is admirable for his young age.

- BACKSTORY

Erwan Rebec, born as Varga De Ambrillis, is the youngest child of a wealthy family from the planet Xandear.

When he was 1 year old, a war against Llxiriv was declared and Xandeans needed strong soldiers. Erwan's powers were too weak already, thus he was judged as a burden and abandoned on Earth so his parents wouldn't have to raise him and could focus on the war.

Erwan was adopted as a baby by the Rebec family and lived an ordinary childhood until the age of 5. After the birth of his little sister Maggie, their parents started making a huge difference between their biological child and the adopted one.

From then on, Erwan felt neglected as his family gave him the minimum care just so he would not die. He spent most of his time alone in his room while his sister was spoiled by the family.

In his early teenagehood, Erwan came out as transgender and it worsened his relationship with his parents. In a desperate attempt to get more attention, he started having bad company and turned into a delinquent : being scolded or punished was the only way he had found to be noticed.

Due to depression, anxiety and spending time with other delinquents, Erwan finally developed a cocaine addiction aged 13. Because his parents and sister didn't pay attention to him, he managed to hide it for a few months until a party went wrong.

Erwan came very close to overdose, his powers suddenly declared and he hurt a friend of his during a bad trip.

When both the teens went to the hospital, Erwan's parents discovered about his drug abuse and finally kicked him out. He lived outside for a few months before he was took in a shelter for young queer people.

There, he met his girlfriend-to-be Violet who helped him wean himself off cocaine. Unfortunately, fascists set the shelter on fire nearly a year after and most the young, including Violet, died in the arson.

Erwan became homeless again and worked several jobs at the same time to rent a small poor apartment.

At the very beginning of SEVEN, he lost his job two months before and is just getting expulsed from his accomodation.

- PRIVATE LIFE

Since the death of his girlfriend Violet 2 years before the story, Erwan struggles with bonding with other people. His distrustful temper makes it even harder and he's most of the time too busy surviving to interact with people.

Living in a rough area, Erwan often gets assaulted and can't trust people around him, causing him not to have any friend.

In SEVEN's first chapter, he has just lost his job and apartment and has to sleep outside once again.

Nicknames :

R-0 (pseudonym)

Varga (alien birth name)

RELATIONSHIPS

ROXANNE

Roxanne is the first heroine Erwan meets : she mistakes him for a criminal as she's investigating on atrocious serial murders in his area. Their relationship starts quite badly since Erwan blames Roxanne for being attacked by Kreator's chimeras. Roxanne on her side, can't stand his pessimistic personality and abrupt sentiments on what heroism is.

However, they slowly start bonding during the first arc and finally become best friends.

EZRA

Ezra quickly becomes a kind of mentor to Erwan. Seeing how strong Roxanne is while fighting, Erwan complains about his own weakness to Ezra, who offers to train him so he can control his powers a bit more.

Erwan develops a total trust in Ezra and is grateful for what he teaches him. They also have good laughters together : Ezra's carelessness in the field helps Erwan putting things in perspective and coping with his anxiety.

ALOÏS

Just like for Roxanne, their first interactions are not great. The very first time they meet, Erwan has just been attacked and Aloïs' coldness and abruptness cause him a panick attack.

Aside from fear, Erwan is resentful towards Aloïs for being the leader of the group which never helped him with his life struggles. The Clockworker embodies everything Erwan despises and sees as hypocritical at the beginning of the story.

Their relationship evolves and gets better with time though : Aloïs is one of the people to restore Erwan's hope and faith in humanity.

His strong convictions and morals even convince him to join the Division later.

GRACE

Grace is someone Erwan values a lot right from the start. She's the one who calms him after his first panick attack and when Erwan starts living at the headquarters, she's always here to help apeasing his emotions.

During Lilyas' arc, Erwan takes shelter at Grace and Samira's house after being tortured by the mafia : these 3 weeks spent together strengthen their bond and help Erwan coping with the trauma.

From then on, he starts seeing Grace as a kind of mother.

SAMIRA

Erwan soon becomes as close of Samira as of Grace. They meet when he takes refuge at her home and he gets extremely attached in less than 3 weeks. Just like Grace, she's a motherly figure to him and both the wives wish they could adopt him as well.

LYSSANDERA

Lyssandera is Erwan/Varga's biological big sister he learns about quite late in the story. When she tells Erwan he was sent on Earth because he was too weak to go at war, he's absolutely mad at her for letting their parents abandon him.

This truth damages Erwan's relationship with his only family left, making him feel even more abandoned. At some point of Lyssandera's arc, he tells her he wishes he'd have never known her.

After fighting together to stop the war on Xandear, they both make efforts to build a healthier relationship but it takes a lot of time for Erwan to forgive.

VIOLET

Violet is Erwan's late girlfriend. She died in the arson which burnt their LGBT shelter to the ground when they were around 15.

They used to be close and fusional and Violet is the person who helped Erwan overcome his cocaine addiction.

He's still grieving at the beginning of SEVEN and playing videogames with Roxanne sometimes reminds him of Violet and makes him cry.