#there is no such thing as a 'better safer compound'

[merakiui]

I feel like the Noble Bell Compound is very religious and cult like. It's gotta be rough to be a woman there, like handmaid's tale vibes

Terribly rough. T_T and you are so right. It's extremely cult-like. It's the situation in which the leader (Rollo) comes in to help when all hope seems lost and everyone thinks he's an absolute saint when he builds the compound up with sensibility and sturdier foundations and walls, as well as fostering such crooked ideals. A lot of people within the compound look up to him, treat him like he's some savior or a prophet, and Rollo always seems to know best. His two righthand men are so blindly faithful to him, and Rollo appears so kind and fair with everyone, including those within his close-knit circle. He's just so forgiving, so sweet. How could anyone distrust him? How could he lead anyone astray?

The entire compound feels like a utopia amidst so much dystopia, but the people who reside within don't see what lies beneath the compound in underground dungeons, where misbehaving nuisances are kept and silenced. Anyone who tries to question things, who tries to speak out against the little paradise Rollo has manufactured so dearly, so carefully, so graciously, conveniently vanishes to who-knows-where. No one questions anything because Rollo always has a perfect lie at the ready to keep the masses calm and collected.

Being a woman in the compound is not fun. At all. :( you're treated warmly (at first) just so you'll be tricked into a false sense of security, so you'll be more likely to accept the conditions in which you will be kept (and used). But the longer you spend amidst so many other brides, the clearer it becomes that you are not in equal standing with the others in this compound and Rollo certainly doesn't seem to think you are anything more than livestock meant for reproduction. However terrible his views are, Rollo still ensures the women are given adequate protection and care. After all, he isn't a monster (so he claims). You'll live comfortably (not as comfortably as those who are more privileged, but it's better than nothing), and you're given healthy meals each morning, afternoon, and night. You live like anyone else would, but there are a few rules that permit only to you.

For one, every woman within the compound must remain a virgin. If you don't bleed or feel any pain/discomfort the first time your husband takes you, you're seen as impure, a liar, a filthy slut. And when you're labeled as such, you're treated as such. Rollo conducts pussy inspections to make sure everyone is healthy and oh-so-pure (how he gleans that from running his gloved fingers along your folds or even forcing two inside your tight warmth just to see you squirm, you have no idea. He always spends extra time examining you; the brides gossip over this, eagerly insisting with hushed whispers that the compound leader fancies you. You shudder to think someone like Rollo would ever have his eye on you.)

Additionally, every bride must always wear white. It's a soft color, the symbolism of purity. You're meant to be demure and obedient things, subservient to the men who will choose from the lot of you as if you're nothing more than candy in a jar, eaten as easily as you are discarded. Every morning, it is mandatory that the brides stand before the compound leader and, in unison, list their vows, all of which have been stamped into your memory like a bad tattoo. Every morning, you promise you are pure, insist that your only hopes and dreams are to provide for the compound, to be good mothers, to be good brides, to remain untouched by sin, to remember these vows and hold them close to your heart. Essentially, by participating in this daily routine, you strip away parts of yourself and replace them with the parts the compound wants you to have, and by verbalizing them so often you'll begin to believe them, especially when everyone around you shares the same opinions and feelings on the matter. It is the finest form of brainwashing. And to make matters worse, to cement these ideals that have been practically engraved into you, Rollo always applauds the lot of you, smiles with so much satisfaction, praises everyone for such pleasant mindsets.

Every month his voice seems less like the harshest, grating static and more like a heavenly choir because, for all you've endured and will continue to endure, he is still the only beacon of light in this dark, dismal world.

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 7 all chapters

I knew the pleasure of vexing and soothing him by turns; it was one I chiefly delighted in.

–Jane on Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

-It's no real mystery, why you dig out your beloved old copy of Jane Eyre. From the early 1900s, it had seen better days when you’d scored it in the local used book store, many years ago. You’d been a teenager then—and those days were long behind you. It seems you never outgrew your liking of a dark and broody anti-hero.

It’s safer to read about it though, than pursue the real thing.

Lately every time Mr. Wick comes into the shop you feel slightly agitated, as though you don’t quite fit into your own skin. You remember the sensation of his fingertips on yours, like a burn.

Mr. Wick sees you reading your tattered novel on your break, but doesn’t comment. You’ve seen him with old classics in hand and reckon he must be something of an aficionado.  

You put it away in your shoulder bag in the back after the break.

The next day, it’s gone.

You know you left it in your bag. Where the fuck could it have gone? Why would someone fucking steal it?

A couple of weeks later, it reappears on the counter by the register you favor.

You hardly recognize it at first, for it has received an encompassing makeover. It has new leather covers with gorgeous embossed gold lettering, and marbled end papers, and the tattered thread of the binding repaired. There are gilded arabesques on the spine and delicately drawn climbing flowers on the cover. You wouldn’t have even thought it the same book, if not for the intricately printed title page unique to your edition, with an old pencil mark in the corner you recognize.

Such a restoration would have cost a fortune.

You knew, because you’d looked into it.  

Further compounding the mystery, there is a beautiful jacquard embroidered ribbon bookmark inside. It’s on the page where Rochester has sat Jane down in the arbor, and is telling her that she has rejuvenated him from his unhappy existence without actually admitting anything, asking in the most roundabout way possible if it would be so very bad to take a second wife who would make him a new man, while his first is still living, the big idiot.

“Is the wandering and sinful, but now re-seeking and repentant, man justified in daring the world’s opinion, in order to attach to him for ever this gentle, gracious, genial stranger, thereby securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life?”

Jane tells him, of course, that a man shouldn’t base his redemption on another person, but within himself. You are not sure you would have had the strength to speak so frankly to a man you secretly loved.

Well, maybe you would.

You are utterly mystified by the whole thing, to say the least.

But later, you are browsing the local book store, and the owner is reading Anna Karenina in what looks like freshly bound leather. The style looks familiar.

“Did you have that restored?” you ask, feeling like Nancy Drew hot on the trail of a fresh lead.

“Yeah, that new guy in town, John Wick did it for me. He says he’s just a hobbyist, but he does amazing work. Usually you have to send off to Florence for quality like this, seriously. It’s a dying art.”

Darren lets you look at the book, and you are impressed by the craftsmanship.

The spine decoration matches yours. There is a plate in the back that proclaims: Bound by John Wick.

The sneak.

You are touched to the tips of your toes, your heart filled with butterflies. Was the bookmark purposely left on that page, or just a random placement?

You hardly dare hope, and tell yourself it’s an invention of your own fancy. The gift of the book is magnificent enough. No need to further muddle things with secret communications that aren’t really there.

The next day you approach Mr. Wick’s table with hands on your hips, affecting annoyance. “You stole my book.”

He actually has the grace to look sheepish about it, casting those lovely dark eyes downwards.

“Yeah.”

“Thanks. I really love it.” It’s the understatement of the century.

He looks up through his hair, the surprised sparkle in his eyes taking your breath away. Suddenly, he looks ten years younger.  

“Yeah?”

The corners of your mouth twitch. This man speaks like he’s paying five cents per word, you swear. “Yeah. Why didn’t you tell me you bind books?”

He just shrugs, and you cannot help but laugh.

“I’ve never owned anything so fine. Thank you, truly.”

 He nods again, and you sense that you’re maybe making him uncomfortable with your gratitude. You suspect it’s not why he did it at all.

“Will you show me sometime? How you do it?”

There is a flash of something dark in his eyes before he turns his attention back down to his own book. It feels like dismissal, but you have no idea what he’s hiding underneath it all.

Still waters run deep.

“Anytime you want,” he offers as you turn to go.  

You smile at him over your shoulder as you go back to your station, a secret lightness fluttering in your heart. On your break you flip through your refurbished book once more, taking even more pleasure in it knowing that John poured over every detail of it. You don’t know much about bookbinding or leather work, but you suspect he freehanded the little flowers on the front, and that moves you to your toes.

You flip to one of your favorite scenes because you find it so funny, when Jane puts out the fire that nearly burned Rochester up in his sleep, because undoubtedly he’d drank too much earlier to easily rouse, the lovesick scoundrel. Afterwards he doesn’t want her to leave but can’t outright keep her in his room without behaving an absolute blackguard.

“Strange energy was in his voice, strange fire in his look.”

You cannot help but glance up at your tall dark bookworm in the corner, an aching warmth spreading in your heart for the sight of his furrowed brow, his concentration (you think) focused on the tome in his hands.

You know you are a ridiculous thing.

[anundyingfidelity]

I'M A RUIN — Soldier Boy/Ben (Part VII)

Series summary: After the events of the Seven Tower, you present Grace Mallory a new secret project you're working on already to develop a cure to Compound V. The only problem? You need Soldier Boy for that.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.

Word count: 3.2k.

Warnings for series: set after S3 (spoilers), some OOC!Ben, some depressed!Ben, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, slow-burn, language, PTSD, reader has Compound V (she's no Vought supe tho), Soldier Boy being an usual asshole, reader is a fucking liar.

Warnings on this chapter: sexual tension, suggestive stuff.

Notes: bonding chapter of this slow burn aaaa thanks again for reading :D

this fic tags: @k-slla @syrma-sensei @mostlymarvelgirl @cheynovak @drasticemotions @soldirboy @deans-spinster-witch

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

get yourself in the taglist!

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII

GEN MASTERLIST! — SERIES MASTERLIST!

Part VII: No More Doubts

When you left the motel early after a quick and dull breakfast, Ben was a pain in the ass as he kept asking question after question on the road. You knew he could just leave you alone but it wasn’t really something you’d like him to do. He was a fugitive, so were you. Soldier Boy knew better than that and he only had to stay by your side as much as he hated the idea. The only thing you could truly answer was that you were driving to a safer place. At least you were hoping it was. When you pulled the car after driving hours between the grove, Soldier Boy was waking up from his nap. You thanked heaven for that.

“We’re here,” you announced, turning off the engine.

Ben stirred on his seat, taking in the view of the house and nature and got out of your car, following you to the front door. He couldn’t help but to look around in somewhat awe. It was a large cottage-style house decorated with earth tones, great walls and columns. The place was surrounded by countless trees, making the weather bearable and somewhat nice due to the hidden location. The leaves climbed on some of the windows and the plants and flowers rested on the ground perfectly neat. He assumed you came here often. But it wasn’t really the place you used to come by and sleep every single day. It was too far away from the facility. As you unlocked the door, Ben followed inside, not without taking a last glance at your surroundings. No homes were near, nothing was to be seen. Only you and him inside this big fucking house.

The indoors were no different from the impression he got first. The decoration, the expensive sofa where you threw the sports bag, and the paintings and pots all over the place were saying you were rich. Of course, a fucking rich whore you were, he thought to himself. And he wondered where your real place was located.

“So, I’m gonna show you a guest room and then around, please don’t screw my house,” you said, giving him the sports bag.

“Got something to drink?” he asked, a smirk plastering on his face as he stepped closer to where you were standing.

“Water I do.”

Ben chuckled for a bit, eyes not leaving your face. “You’re so fucking boring, you know?”

“Yeah, well, alcohol is not really an important supply. Just follow me and maybe I’ll get you some later,” you said, turning around to get to the stairs.

You knew he did as you asked when his big steps echoed around the place. Once you were on the second floor, you motioned him to the next room a couple of feet away from yours and gave him directions about the bathroom and the manners. If he was going to be in your place, then he had to behave.

“I told you already, I’m not a fucking animal,” he complained after hearing your orders.

“Sure,” you dragged the word, eyes narrowed. “Because last night you were so civilized in the bathroom.”

He scoffed and then chuckled. “Did I get too loud?”

“You fucking tell me,” you replied with a much annoying smile on your face to match his own.

“Could’ve joined me. We’re not patient and doctor anymore,” 

“No.”

Just as the last word fell off your lips, your phone rang. Quickly you took the call, realizing it was Grace. You left Soldier Boy in his room and walked down the stairs a little too fast.

“You made it?” she asked on the other line.

“Yeah, arrived just minutes ago,” you answered, checking the stairs in case he followed. “Where are you, Grace?”

“That doesn’t matter. I have something for you.”

“Okay, tell me.”

“I will text you an address and an hour. Today. Don’t miss it.”

Your phone buzzed, announcing the information had arrived.

“I won’t.”

“I’ll keep calling through different phone numbers. Do what you have to do to complete the cure,” she said, like if she knew what was happening between both now.

Soldier Boy was unbearable but you had to keep him on track. Luckily, you were back home again and you’ll be working on the Anti V soon, praying the last bits of information and results of the last test were there for some reason.

“I’m doing my best,” you sighed.

Grace hummed.

“Good.”

“Any updates so far?”

Ben’s smooth voice woke you up from your daydreaming while you sat together in the dining room.

You had been able to make something quick for lunch after Grace called and you found yourself all jittery and tense, hoping Soldier Boy wouldn’t notice. But he did sense something different from you. So he kept insisting on what was going on.

“I don’t know,” you whispered, taking the last sip of water from your glass. You avoided his eyes, looking away.

He rolled his eyes and narrowed at you. “Has your office contacted you?” 

You shook your head.

“So they’re dead,” he said. Not asking, but affirming it.

A heavy sigh left your lips, your eyes going back to his harsh ones. “Leaving was the best.”

“Who’s that you keep in touch with?”

“What?”

Ben groaned slightly before snapping back with a low voice. “C’mon, Y/N. You called yesterday on the road, and now you receive a call. Who the fuck is it?”

His question is not just an inquiry anymore. He’s demanding to know. But you also know he hated Grace Mallory for putting him to sleep again, confined to a chamber where he’d be a trophy for the government to do whatever they wanted, how they wanted. Until you appeared, offering him empty words. Just like everyone.

“My superior.”

Your answer hit him like a truck. He knew it was Grace, but he didn’t like hearing it from you. 

The truth was, Ben didn’t like you… Not that much. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes he wanted to kill you, sometimes the small common sense he still had on his head would say you’d be better alive. He had been thinking of going away, but not he didn’t really want to. He knew you had been working with Grace, he was no idiot. So maybe staying close should get him even closer to Homelander and Vought. He also thought of Ryan back in the cell you had put him in. He was so damn afraid Ryan would become like his father. And since the brat has been protected before by many people, finding would not be easy. That’s where your contacts and network would be a help to him. He was hoping to find something at your place to find them and the information he craved.

“Right,” he said, alarmingly calm and quiet. He took the last bite of pasta on the plate and swallowed down in silence under your gaze. You didn’t know what else to say.

“So, these powers of yours,” he continued, drinking the last sip of juice. “How’d you get them?”

“Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged. “I mean, they’re pretty fucking useless against me,” his words made you chuckle. Of course you knew that. “But I’m just wondering if you’d be with them.”

Your face turned back to a somber demeanor. “The Seven?”

He gave you a nod.

“Well, it’s not like all supes dream of that,” you uttered. “I just wanted to be normal.”

Ben raised a brow at your sudden confession. “Someone exploded everyone’s heads at the CIA. Sorry to say, sweetheart, but you suck at being normal.”

“Yeah, details I have to work with.”

“I take it you never went to them,” he continued and saw confusion on your face. “Vought.”

The word made you shudder for a slight moment, and you quickly tried to collect yourself to avoid him noticing.

“No, I never did.”

He scrutinized your eyes, hearing the poor increase of your heartbeats. They were enough to tell him something was wrong. But he decided to play along, so he nodded and gave you a rather compassionate look.

“Must be thankful they didn’t fuck up your life then.”

He had no idea.

You had parked the car outside an abandoned gas station; it was one of the nearest grocery stores to your home years ago. The now wasteland was almost two hours away, with a gas station around ten miles elsewhere. You had been waiting for Grace outside the car, leaning against the hood. Bored, you checked your phone again. When you arrived it was already past three o’clock. When twenty minutes went by, you wanted so badly to drive and get inside the next store you see and buy yourself food and supplies enough to survive a week or two with the idiotic supe now staying at your home. Grace said would be calling through a different phone but you received no calls so far. You’ve been waiting for more than an hour and the drive home wasn’t going to be shorter. Suddenly another car came into sight, pulling over near yours. Two men came out of it.

“Doctor Y/N?”

The stranger with the unknown voice and a weird accent caught your attention. Soon, you found the two tall men standing in front of you in the parking lot.

“We’re here on behalf of Grace Mallory,” the man continued.

He wore a long dark trench coat, looking rough and intimidating. The total opposite to the younger one, who gave you a kind smile once your eyes settled on him.

“How-”

“We have something for you,” the younger man continued. “I’m Hughie. Hughie Campbell,” he introduced himself, giving you a hand and fixing the backpack on his shoulder with the other one. You took it after a moment of hesitation. “He’s Billy Butcher, we’ve worked with Grace before.”

You nodded. “I thought she was the one coming.”

“She’s not in shape for that,” Billy answered. He realized your face changed at his words and quickly explained himself. “Vought’s cunts are looking for her, not safe.”

“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. “Great, awesome. So what do you have for me?”

“We, uhm, we made it to your facility and thought these could do some help,” Hughie took out a pouch and gave it to you.

With trembling hands you opened the pouch and sighed in relief. Five test tubes of the Anti V prototype were laid there. “You found them.”

“And we found a little bit more,” Butcher continued. “Victoria Neuman exploded the heads of your employees back there. We believe Vought had been sneaking and getting spies for themselves.”

“Victoria is a supe,” you voiced out. “A supe is running for vice president…”

“Yeah, long story,” Hughie commented. “She’s obviously linked with Homelander and Vought. Everyone was dead when we arrived; lab assistants, guards, agents, the supes… We believe her mission was to just let you and Soldier Boy out, besides stealing information about the cure you’re working on. Probably to give it to Vought.”

“Anything weird happen there before the attack?” Billy asked, not giving you time to swallow Hughie’s words.

“Uhm, yeah. Actually my lab assistant… She tried to warn me and, well, she was crying and asking me to leave. I didn’t know why until her head just- you know…”

You choked a little with your words. The picture of her body and the last seconds of her life were all you got. Everything was equally horrible that day.

“I’m sorry,” Hughie whispered.

“It’s fine,” you cleared your throat. “And I assume you didn’t find anything else? Information? Files?”

“Computers were destroyed. No files. No info. Nothing,” Butcher answered. “Grace says you’re the leader of the project. You have copies, right?”

“Why everybody keeps fucking asking me that? Of course I do!” you almost yelled, eyes full of rage staring at him.

“Easy there, doc,” Butcher lifted up his hands in surrender. “We just wanna get rid of those cunt supes as much as you want. Nothing wrong to make sure.”

“Well, I do have them,” you replied with a cocky smile. “Thank you very much for your concern, Adele.”

Butcher rolled his eyes, sharing a look with Hughie before switching his attention back to you.

“Yeah, sure you do, luv.”

It was already seven o’clock when you arrived home with supplies and food. Ben, as usually, acted like a fucking caveman claiming he was hungry and you had to act like the housewife, serving him a fucking hamburger and a glass of wine. That was the only liquor you bought. Despite his complaints, his hunger was greater and he devoured the greasy food with no table manners at all.

“You could chew your food like a fucking human being, you know,” you said, eating the last french fries you had. 

He turned his eyes to your face, pointing with his finger. “You were gone for like five hours.”

“So? There’s fruit in the fridge.”

Ben narrowed his gaze, like if he had been offended.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to serve something for yourself,” you teased. He didn’t say a word, and you giggled. “That’s fucking pathetic.”

He leaned towards the dining table, eyes locked on yours. “No, you just don’t know your fucking place, woman.”

“I just saved your life, Ben. At least say thanks,” you beamed, having too much fun by seeing him upset for mundane things.

“No, you didn’t.”

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your wine. “Fine. I didn’t. Let’s go past this and start over. If you’re gonna live here, for now, then you’ll have to learn how to respect me.”

His brows raised. “I thought I already did.”

“Offering yourself to fuck me in a cheap motel is not respectful, Soldier Boy.”

“Well, I didn’t try anything, did I?” Ben finished his sentence at the same time he finished his dinner.

He waited for a smart comeback from you but it never came. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and a stupid grin appeared on his lips. “Unless you want to.”

“No, we’ve been through it. My answer is still no.”

“Then, mind to fucking tell me if you found something by now?”

He changed the topic swiftly. His playful demeanor switched immediately and you sighed, knowing he might have to hear anything to keep him down.

“You’re in danger.”

“I’m the strongest supe ever, that doesn’t make any damn sense,” Ben scoffed.

“Listen, we need to hide from Vought. Hide and not leave a trace, because now I’m involved with you and they’re absolutely looking for your ass,” you gave him a stern look as you went on. “If I fall, you go with me. And if you fall, then I don’t know if they’d still want me. But you’ll be fucked anyway.”

Ben nodded. In his mind, it didn’t sound like a bad plan. In the end, that’s what he wanted; to get closer to Vought and Homelander to get over with them. The world didn’t deserve those fuckers. And as much as Homelander was created with his own DNA, he knew better than to let a scum like him walk around the planet. You already gave him something, a clue. He had to play along for now. If they took you in first, then he might probably bargain to be him instead. It was only fair. He was the one that mattered anyway.

“Okay, I get it. I’ll stay here. But I don’t want those fucking therapies anymore,” he expressed, his gaze not moving away from the surprised look on your face. “Understand?”

You blinked a couple of times, shifting on your seat and chuckling under your breath. “It’s fine, believe me. I can’t stand you more than you do.”

Ben held your gaze, daring you to try something else. Instead, you smiled and got up and took your empty dishes to the sink. His eyes followed your moves, focusing on your small shorts and the softness of your legs. And you knew he was definitely checking you out when you talked.

“By the way, you’ll have to help me wash the dishes.”

He stood up, plates on his hands and walked behind your figure, putting them on the sink as you opened the faucet. His arms surrounded you once he did so and you flinched a bit. Ben smirked, feeling the reaction of your body trapped against his.

“Get away,” you ordered in a whisper, unable to move.

“I’m helping you, Y/N,” he breathed your name against your neck, his hand wrapping on yours gripping on the edge of the sink.

The only sound now was his hot breath on your skin and the water flowing. You quickly turned the faucet off, but you didn’t try to push him away.

It was the second time during the day he had said your name, ever. And you wouldn’t deny it sounded fucking delightful. He had only addressed you as his ‘doctor’, but now it was different. Though, you didn’t want to give into him. He was a huge douchebag and you were basically forced to spend time with him, in your home, without really wanting him there. You felt his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin of your neck, and the primal part of you yearned for his touch, but the rational one won over and you freed yourself from his arms.

“Stop doing that,” you warned once you were face to face. His eyes were dark already and had a sparkle you knew too much since the day before.

“Alright,” he nodded.

“Just- let’s just wash these. I want to sleep.”

With a tired sigh, you walked down the basement. It was already midnight and Ben was locked inside his room, probably jerking off or something since you, once again, rejected him in your kitchen. Inside the dark room, you found the metal door that let you inside the bunker and unlocked it with the code. When you stepped in, you made sure to turn on the power and lights that illuminated the room and the small lab in the back. The computers started to run and you sat down on the main monitor, leaving the pouch with the Anti V tubes on the side of the desk.

Yeah, you might have told Butcher and Grace you had copies of every detail of the project. But you were afraid of the last stuff you discovered just before the attack. You knew well how the information was protected and encrypted, but it didn’t really assure you the profile of Solaris would be there. He was the first and last supe who had his powers off for a couple of hours at least and the feeling of losing it all had been eating you the last few hours after meeting with Grace’s messengers.

It took you a while to decrypt the system, something you had been already used to doing every time you got there to keep working on it, just to make sure no one would steal it. Hopefully, Vought hadn’t discovered it before destroying the facilities, you thought. And after a while, you found the last updates of the last test your team ran. Solaris profile and test was there. Not just in written letters, but the footage of the test and the exact formula that was used too. Now, you were so lucky.

“Well, thank you, Bianca. Wherever you are,” you whispered to yourself and took a tube from the pouch the men gave you earlier. You had a busy night ahead.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Abjuration (Mage!Reader x Bucky Barnes)

A sorcerer!reader helps Bucky relax with their magic. NOTE: Can be read as platonic, and for gender neutral readers as well

Bucky sighs, pulling you into the safehouse, finally setting down his weapon.

You gulp, and then practically collapse on the bed.

It's basically a one-room shelter. a kitchen, a bed, and a communication center.

Bucky is on mission from the Avengers to protect you, to guide you safely back to the Avengers compound and avoid HYDRA, who would wish to use your magic powers for evil.

But HYDRA has been crafty, keeping in pursuit enough that you haven't been able to magic yourself and Bucky right to the Avengers.

And with them on the tail, Bucky knows he can't get you out to the extraction point.

Bucky quickly finishes sealing up the door and looks over at you. "Not having a great time?"

You groan a little. "It's been rough, but... at least we're safe, right?"

"As safe as I can make us." Bucky sighs. "We'll have to lie low here for a while, but we'll be trying to make it to the extraction point at our first chance, so you better get some rest."

"What about you?" you ask, slightly concerned. "I mean, you're the actual soldier, you should be well rested, right?"

He raises an eyebrow. "I don't know if you're capable of providing a reliable watch - you're wiped from casting those spells to help us get away."

You nod, acknowledging his point. "Still-"

"I don't sleep well anyway." he admits. "It's hard for me to ever really feel safe."

"I can help with that," you brighten. "I think, at least."

He frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I can perform a protection spell on our safehouse here. It may not keep everything out, but it'll provide enough of a barrier to defend against most things, and will alert us quickly if something is coming."

Without waiting for an answer, you begin moving, summoning your power from the wellspring inside you. Your magic always is improved when you're helping someone you care for, and Bucky has become a good friend these past few weeks on the run.

You haven't been anywhere secluded or long-term enough to justify expending your magic reserves on a protection spell, so this is the first Bucky's seen.

It takes a good twenty minutes to perform the ritual, gathering energy and focusing it, and Bucky arranges the gear and starts preparing some of the MREs in the kitchen stock, though he occasionally glances back over at you as you walk the perimeter of the safehouse, trying to touch every wall.

About halfway around, light blooms from your fingers, a soft amber color spreading outward, twinkling golden lights of concentrated power studding the ephemeral nebula of amber light spreading now over the ceiling.

Bucky watches in awe, field rations forgotten as you pull the rudimentary bed away from the wall and begin drawing runes in a haphazard circle, each glowing with light and floating a little off the floor around the bed.

"That'll be for when we sleep." you smile. "I'll activate it from the inside to give us some extra protection."

"Same bed?" Bucky finally manages to say, tearing his eyes away from the magic as the walls fade back to normal, the light now faint, now gone.

"If it's not a problem. That way we can both fit in the circle and you can get some sleep."

He nods, then chuckles. "You ever slept on a safehouse bed? Good luck sleeping."

You laugh and walk over to him to see about eating.

And later, Bucky hesitantly takes off his tactical gear and armor - he claims it helps him feel more relaxed, but it's not great for sleeping in.

He sits on the bed, cross-legged and alert, watching as you gently lean over the side and touch the rune circle. It blazes with power and sends light cascading upwards in diaphanous sheets in soft colors, forming a dome of protection before it coalesces into little spheres of drifting light, like night lights, like tiny stars gently watching over you both.

"I hope you feel a bit safer." you say softly.

"I do. The magic... I feel like it's strong. And... like it's on my side." Bucky says, leaning back to watch the lights drift as you tuck yourself under the blankets.

"Good night, Bucky."

"Good night, Y/N." Bucky whispers back. It's only after he hears your breathing change to that of unconsciousness that he slides his body downward, now lying down. And glancing at the lights, he truly does feel, if not safe, then protected.

He lets his eyes fall closed, and without trouble, drifts into sleep.

[yelenasdiary]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a fic with Yelena, Natasha and Y/N. But Y/N is struggling with their family y/n only trusts Yelena and Natasha with how they are feeling with their parents in the end Natasha and Yelena decides to take y/n into their care. 😀

Safety Net

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff, Yelena Belova x Reader (Platonic)

Summary: After a rather rough argument with your parents, Natasha suggests an idea to Yelena that she couldn’t refuse.

Angst | Comfort | Reader is 16 | Mentions of Child Abuse, nothing extreme | Mentions of Homophobia | Mentions of Parents being Alcoholics | 1K | 

AC: I hope this was something you were after, enjoy x

"Calm down love, I can't understand you, what's happened?" Natasha frowned with concern as you cried your heart out to her over the phone. You'd just gotten into a rather nasty and heated argument with your parents once again. Ever since you took the chance to come out to your parents about your sexuality, things haven't been the same. Not that you'd ever say you had a normal family life. 

There were times where your parents were so drunk during the day, they didn't bother to cook dinner or even give you some money to order take out. Due to their need to drink every day, it was almost rather they went grocery shopping for food which is how you ended up eating meals at either the Avengers compound or at Yelena's shared apartment with Kate. 

"They're kicking me out!" you finally managed to say through your tears. Natasha looked at Yelena who was enjoying her bowl of mac n cheese before your destressed call. "I'm coming to get you, where are you?" Natasha replied without a second thought. 

----

After letting you explain everything through your sobs, Nat ran you a warm shower and lent you some of Yelena's clothes for sleepwear before holding you closely until you were asleep before she went to speak to Yelena. 

"Are they okay?" Yelena asked, Natasha was always better at handling the super emotional things which is why she kept a step back tonight and waited for Nat to give her an update. 

"They're 16 and just been kicked out of home because of their sexuality, they're as good as can be right now but I think we should have a serious chat" the red head sat down in the armchair across from the sofa that Yelena was sitting on. 

Yelena nodded, seeing just how serious Natasha was. "I think we should foster them, they're basically already in our care and I can't let them fall through the cracks of the system" Natasha explains, "it would mean you and I would have to get a house and prove that we can provide a suitable home for them. We'll get help from the others but if you don't want to do this, I truly unders-"

"I'll do. They're like a younger sibling Natasha. I want them out of harm's way and you and I both know they're better off with us" Yelena interrupts her sister. Natasha could help but smile softly and give the blond a lit nod. It would be a tough journey, but they were both more than willing to make it happen. 

----

Yelena and Natasha came with you to pick up your belongings from your once family home, you felt a lot safer knowing they were there and for once there wasn't an argument between you and your parents, maybe it was because they were too drunk to even care that you'd come home, or they simply were just too angry to talk. It hurt you deeply and the two assassins saw that but knowing you had the by your side, it helped ease the pain. 

In the coming months, the foster care agency was aware of your situation and had long, deep conversations with both Natasha and Yelena about your welfare and how best to help. The women had brought a house just outside the city, close enough to your new high school and to help make the older women look good in the eyes of the agency, you found yourself an after-school job and even kept your studies up. 

It was more than clear that you were doing extremely well in the care of Natasha and Yelena but of course in situations like these, the agency always likes to try and reunite the child with their family. Your parents were ordered by the courts to go to AA meetings and remain sober in order to have you back in their custody. It wasn't easy although you felt that your father was really trying his best to recover but at the end of the day, their love for drinking wasn't the only thing that drove you away from them and it was more than clear to you that they would never accept your sexuality. 

"Hey, how was your visit today?" Yelena asked as you slumped down on the sofa, grabbing the TV remote. Once a week you would have supervised visits with your parents, you hated it but until the court hearing, you had to do it. 

"It was fine" you sighed, wanting to ignore the conversation but Yelena wasn't giving up that easily. 

"Just fine?" She questioned. 

"I don't know what you want me to say Lena!" You snapped, "I go have coffee with my parents once a week and listen to how 'great' their doing with their AA meetings and how much they only now miss me! They don't ask me how I am, what I've been doing or if I even want to go back to them. I hate it, they don't care about me and only see me because they have too, and I just want to tell the judge I don't want to do this anymore!" You added in a burst of anger. 

Yelena wandered over to you and sat beside you, "I'll talk to Natasha. Maybe in time your parents might come around and even if they don't. You will always be family to Natasha, myself and everybody around you. We'll never let anybody hurt you again, trust me, I don't think I'm ready for you to start dating either" Yelena's comment made you chuckle, lighting your mood just a bit. 

"You're sounding like an overprotective older sister; you know that, right?" You looked at her with a raised brow. "I've always seen you as a little sister" Yelena admits. You didn't tell her in the moment, but those words meant more to you than she'd ever understand. Even if your parents never came around, you knew you had a real family right here. A family that loved you, accepted you, cared for you and would do anything to make sure you were happy and okay.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @natasha-belova | @blackwidow-3 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @observeowl | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @ahintofchaos | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | @pandaemonium111 | @imnotslouching | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @marvel-madnessx | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @natashaswife4125 | @katiemay-025 | @aphrcdtes | @romanoffs-widow | @natsxwife | @maria-403 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | @xox-little-troublemaker-xox | @shibugs | 

[semisolidmind]

How did Wukong find MK and decide to adopt him?

non-spoiler answer: wukong found mk when he was small, had a rare moment of empathy, decided to adopt him and raise him as his own.

(season 4 spoilers: context taken from later episodes in the season. also bad end mk lore, ig)

spoiler answer: stone egg.

mk comes from a similar place as wukong; made from the same stone, although mk came out as a young child instead of a fully formed adult. despite having a small thought about "sparing" mk the pain of a life as a monkey demon by killing him then and there, wukong decides to adopt mk and raise him to be as strong as he can. think of it like an extra middle finger to heaven from the monkey king (that and the fact that the only person wukong ever would have felt comfortable having kids with has been dead for thousands of years and he isn't sure if she's gonna reincarnate, so mk may be his only chance at having a legacy).

i have a theory that the reason mk looks human in the show is because he saw humans when he wandered into the city, so he unconsciously changed his form to look more like them. like, the magic that created him knew he'd be safer if he looked human.

however, seeing as villain wukong decided to adopt him and raise him alongside the other monkeys of ffm from the beginning, mk's form in this au is similar to the monkey form we see in the show. he has better access to his powers that way, on top of swk actively discouraging him from looking human.

it's like the reverse of what we see in the show. mk has been raised (by wukong) to believe that humans are mostly terrible, so he should be happy being a monkey demon. when he does his gold magic glitch-out thing from the later episodes, he looks human during said glitch. it's a sort of reflection of his mental state; he's come to see himself as more human because of his exposure to mortal society and his changing ideals, but the distrustful, cautious side of him can't face that fact.

the mk of this au has some considerable differences from the normal mk. the biggest one being his skill level in combat. in this iteration, swk has been training him from day one, so that classic mk clumsiness is practically nonexistent. the kid's basically a living weapon (almost) on par with one of the greatest fighters in the world. there's an innate power and grace in his movement.

he's a lot more brutal in his fighting style as well. you get trained by a villain notorious for going all-out, you learn to not pull your punches no matter the opponent.

this is compounded by the fact that mk has his own staff. villain wukong isn't about to give up his signature weapon, and it doesn't seem like that much of a stretch to just...go steal another magic pillar from the eastern dragon palace.

"Like that old codger could stop us. C'mon, kid, let's go get you a real weapon."

another difference is mk's general attitude. sure, he's still a fairly happy kid, but he was raised to always keep his guard up. strike first, ask questions later. his first meeting with mei was an all out battle, because he didn't understand that this dragon decendent wasn't trying to hurt him. he's a bit more serious here too, and it's mei who's the upbeat one between the two of them. she's also the one that introduced him to pigsy, sandy, and tang. she's kinda his safety net as far as mortal interactions go, teaching him the ins and outs of mortal culture.

this version of mk can kick red son's ass stupidly easily. the whole dbk family, really. to the point that red son's terrified of him, though he tries to hide it behind a superior attitude. this could go for all the demons in the show, really. mk scares all of them to a certain degree.

he wouldn't reallyneed his friends help, in this au. he's got this idea in his head that he shouldn't be dragging his much less powerful friends into fights he can easily finish on his own. he's been raised with a "help yourself, because noone else will. in fact they'll be in your way" type mentality when it comes to battle.

his story in this au is more of a "allow people to get close to and care about you, not everyone is trying to kill you" arc, instead of a power-up, training arc. mk needs to learn to let people help him, and allow himself to be open.

to sum it up; mk is seen as a monster like his father, and is learning to be less of a monster. he wants to be a hero.

"I...I don't wanna be like him. I wanna be better, I want to use this power to help people, to protect them! I just...don't want to be what the world thinks I should be."

[romanoffsbish]

A Safe Haven

WandaNat x Fem!R

Request | Prompt | 3,060 Words

Warnings: Injured R, Descriptions of Burns/Stabbings

Natasha and Wanda had gone out for the day, they shared a short brunch before setting off to go shop. They wanted to be prepared for your return tonight with all of your favorite things. It was your first official mission as an Avenger after Fury gave you the final go ahead, you were so excited when you left this afternoon, and they wanted to make the return just as special for you because it was only fair, as you were the only light in their lives most days.

—

Then they got a call, and suddenly a concerned Wanda was falling from the skies, landing back at the compound, and running in a frantic way to get to the med bay. Apparently you were waiting there, and Natasha agreed to purchase your things then meet her back there in about ten minutes, but she promised it'd be less.

"Bruce, I swear to god I will shove that needle into your jugular if you don't get the hell away from me! I can do it by my fucking self!"

Wanda wasn't really surprised to hear you screaming, you were never a fan of the clinical side of things, nor were you one for allowing others to see you in such a vulnerable state. Except for if it was with Nat or Wanda, that trust took a long time to build, so she rushed through the doors, and made a beeline for you.

Red wisps wrapped around your hand right as you managed to steal the syringe full of numbing drugs from the nervous scientist, you scowled deeply, but your body also visibly relaxed when your lovers presence became clear to you. You instantly felt safer...

"Moya lyubov, we don't stab our friends."

You growled, "He was going to do it first."

Wanda smirked at you, eyes of an intricate green never leaving yours as she nodded sideways at the sheepish man, he took her hint with a running start. The doors swinging as he left in a rush signaled to you he was gone, "What a pussy," you grumbled and Wanda snorted, "Play nice, he was trying to help."

Honestly, if you didn't see him shift into a giant green monster with your own eyes you'd never believe that Bruce Banner was the Hulk.

"He knows better Wands." She nodded with a hum to follow. "Yeah, but he also knows if he didn't try he'd have me and Nat to deal with, and I hate to break it to you, but we're scarier."

You gasped and pointed the syringe at her now, "Take it back little witch." She rolled her eyes, and literally took it back from you. "Done." She winked, you rolled your eyes, and shrieked, "Not what I meant Wands, I am way scarier!"

"Detka," she chuckled with a soft shake of her head, because as scary as you thought you looked, you truthfully didn't. With furrowed brows, a crinkled nose and an exaggerated pout, what she knew was meant to be an intimidating scowl, it only softened her heart. So, as was an inevitability she cursed at you, "You look adorable."

You gasped again, this time more loudly, and the heatless words died on your tongue as you felt a surge of pain. The adrenaline had faded.

Your body fell back against the bed, wrapped hands pawed at the sheets and tears began to stream down your face. Wanda's teasing smile fell, and for the first time since she had arrived she witnessed just how hurt you truly were.

There was ash all over your maroon suit, the flecks of charcoal white covered not only it but your face and hair. Fortunately your hands were already wrapped by someone, but the burns you had sustained were everywhere.

Where the white ash didn't reside, jagged holes in the suit took its place, showing the brunette your third degree burns. Then her eyes trailed further down your body, noticing the scrapes and bruises, and stopping in post haste on the saturated red gauze wrapped over your thigh. Her stomach flipped, seeing you in pain like this always hurt the empath just the same.

"It's okay," you whispered through gritted teeth, forcing yourself to sit back up so you could try to comfort the witch who's lip was now wobbling, but her hand softly pushed you back into the bed. "No, it really isn't."

You should honestly be fine; this was a simple recon mission, medical aid made no sense.

Wanda reached for a white rag from the cleaning station, she softly wiped your face clean, then she thoroughly wiped an unmarred portion of your shoulder clean. She smiled down at you, her thumb traced over your cheek and you instantly nodded. Giving her the silent permission to give you the magical shot to numb the pain, her lips touched yours just as you winced. A momentum picked up as you felt the ice rolling through your veins. Your body feeling as if you could party all night when it really belongs in the junkyard in this state.

Being the responsible party the witch pulled away, smiles pressed lightly together as she hesitates to truly part, but with immense strength she manages. "We need to fix you up now my love, let me do what needs to be done."

Wanda knew she'd have to soften your resolve some to allow her to use her powers like this.

After every mission she'd rush to either your or Natasha's side, use her powers to heal you just a bit, then she'd spend an entire day sleeping.

Then one really bad time put an end to this for a long while. When Nat was struck by a bullet, Wanda suddenly collapsed as Natasha's lungs partook in a miracle as they did the opposite.

"Y/N, don't worry," she quickly shushed you. "I'm going to make these third degree ones, and then I'll stop. I promise I'll be okay, I had Tony make these bracelets for me that help me better pull my energy. No more collapsing."

"C-careful Wan," you stuttered, the heat rolling through your body was still intense, even with the Novocain coursing through you, so you're desperate for her offered relief, but you would never allow it if you thought it would hurt her.

"I always am," she winked at you, then began to remove the rest of your suit. Her body stuttered as she really took the sight of you in.

"Why are you in this state Y/N," she wasn't accusatory, just concerned. "Where was Steve and Tony?" Your eyes widened, because the truth would only lead to the other's demise.

You'd considered lying to her, but even in your delirious state you knew better than to try. Nat probably already got the ear full from Hill, so you knew Wanda would have found out.

"They forgot I was there," you whispered the embarrassing truth so quietly, but you knew she heard it when her jaw clenched. "They triggered the bombs on the floors above me, but then after I shrieked into the coms they stopped and Tony flew up to save me."

"This isn't exactly saving," Wanda sneered. "Those idiots are in for a world of hurt."

"Wanda, it's okay." It wasn't, but you wanted to pretend like it was and she could sense that. "You're right, it's gonna be fine, just relax."

Wanda placed a chaste kiss to your lips as her forehead leaned into yours. A shaky breath fanned across your face as she began to heal you, you could smell traces of mint on your lips, and feel the love she left behind in its place. "Just focus on me sweet girl, you're ok."

"Wan, you said just the burns," you whined, and the witch kissed your protests away as her warm, glowing hands hovered over your thigh.

"Look, I'm fine moya lyubov'," she hummed, her thumb tenderly traced over the new mark on your thigh, and you sighed contentedly.

Wanda saw you shiver, she didn't want to hurt you further with the tight fitting emergency clothes you all had in the medbay for moments like these, so she slipped her own hoodie off and with her magic she made sure it fit you in an oversized manner like you preferred. All to protect your body from being seen by the team.

"Can you stand now?" You nodded, and the brunette guided you onto your feet. Natasha burst into the room just as Wanda pulled you into her, eight minutes in total. The witch was hoping for more time, but you needed to eat, and the redhead will want her time with you.

Wanda pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, "I'm so happy you're okay detka," then she left an even softer one to your lips before she was gently exchanging you for the grocery bags. She gave Natasha a quick kiss, they shared a fond smile as they watched you burrow into your other lover with a swiftness. Then Wanda was gone to the kitchen before you could blink.

Natasha didn't mind the grime transferring to her shirt, she only smiled and buried her nose in your hair, she could smell hints of your apple scented conditioner beneath the layers of smoke and ash that settled onto the strands.

Natasha's blood boiled when she looked just beyond you and saw the tattered remains of your suit behind you. Most of your burns were on your upper body so she couldn't see the improved state, but she did notice the few on your legs, and knowing they were once worse was enough to make her rather homicidal.

Tony and Steve would be smart to find a safe house, because after you fall asleep tonight there's no one left to protect the assholes.

They were careless with your life, and to your girlfriends that's an unforgivable slight.

"Thank you for coming home to us detka," the woman held back a sob as she repeated her usual mantra for when you'd return from a shield mission, but the way her arms tightened around your waist gave way to her clear fear.

"I'll always come home to you guys Natty."

"I appreciate that." Natasha gently pulled away from your embrace so that she could cup your cheek and pull you in for a kiss that she poured all of her love for you into. "We love you a lot."

"I love you guys too Natty, even more than Taylor Swift." Natasha chuckled in disbelief, "Wow, you're clearly in a state of delusion."

"Let's go get you cleaned up detka." Natasha scooped you up against your weak protests. You'd lost a decent amount of blood with the wound on your thigh, plus, no amount of magic heals the need for rest after what you've been through. So this is really the least your lover felt she could do to play her part in your care.

After taking the elevator up to your shared room the redhead set you down on the counter in your en suite, then she filled the tub with scentless bubbles and lukewarm water as to not aggravate your already overheated skin.

You watched with your lip caught between your teeth as your lover stripped down to nothing. She was always something to admire, and you'd never stop. "My eyes are up here."

"I know, I'd rather look at your boobs," you admitted without any shame causing the woman to loudly snort, "Y/N, you're injured..."

"Yes, and horny for my girlfriends always."

Natasha shook her head at your truly heatless words, "You're insatiable darling." You only smiled in response, allowing her to gently guide you into the readied tub where she just as quickly settled her body behind yours for the optimum support. "Dirty, dirty girl indeed."

You huffed, a protest of sorts, but you were too fatigued to back it up with words. The silence slowly encompassed the bathroom, sounds of water splashing into the marble all to be heard as you rearranged your body to lay face down. Natasha frowned when you shivered, she tried to offer her own body heat, but she couldn't budge on the water or else you'd be worse off.

She hummed a soft tune as she ran her fingers up and down your spine with delicate strokes. Her hand began to kneed at the unmarred skin, hopefully helping to relieve the tension that still resided in your muscles from the long day.

Her hand eventually made its way to your thigh where it methodically paused. She softly ran her thumb over your new scar, face falling further as she racked her brain for an answer that only evaded her with logical thought.

"How did you get stabbed?" You tensed as she finally verbalized it, now remembering that the empty floor you were sent to had a straggler who graciously left his blade behind in your leg. He'd totally blindsided you, swinging it at you before he escaped down the fire escape.

"The information was faulty," your scratchy voice came out sounding pitiful. "The place wasn't empty like Fury had first relayed."

Natasha hummed in understanding, she lifted your face and kissed away the tears as they fell. No more words needed to be said, she could tell it was just a fluke in intel, and it infuriated her that they'd not be more thorough for your first time up against Avenger level threats.

"Natty, I'm really cold." You shivered more noticeably this time and she took that as a sign to lift your bodies so she could run the shower. You were likely having a reaction to the loss of blood now, body struggling to regulate after all its been through in only a matter of hours.

Natasha did everything, and to her surprise you let her, you were just so tired and pliant.

She gently sat you down on the bench in your massive shower, then she moved to rid your locks of all the debris. You leaned back when she requested, her strong arm held you up with ease as the warm, once clear water turned to black as it slid down the drain. The various debris getting caught on top of the silver drain gratings, and she soon grimaced as an entire chunk of plaster thunked against the marble.

Natasha waited until the water ran clear to sit you back up. You pouted when you saw her expression, it was pained, and you felt guilty. Thoughts of how you could've prevented this plagued you, truthfully you knew it wasn't on you. Tony and Steve made a massive mistake. Fortunately for you the redhead didn't give you long to overthink before she lifted you again.

You purred when her lips pressed into your neck as she tugged you into her embrace. Fresh hot tears cascaded down your skin along with the streaming water and you held her even tighter, trying to somehow reassure her that you're still here. Natasha held you close like that for an entire minute as she sobbed.

"I'm okay Nat," you whispered reassuringly, "I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm safe with you two."

You reached down, pulling her hand back up with yours to prove your words right. You kissed her knuckles with a tenderness only reserved for your lovers. Then you flattened her hand against your chest, overlaying it with yours for optimal comfort. Nat sighed as soon as she felt the strong thrum beneath her palm.

"Thank you detka..." You kissed her cheek and she turned her head fast enough to steal a proper kiss as well. To her delight you didn't try to pull away, but instead you leaned in and allowed her to deepen it without her asking.

"I love you," you whispered as you playfully smiled against her lips, "But I'm becoming a prune, can we get this show on the road?"

Natasha chuckled, "You're lucky you're cute," shaking her head as she reached for the first of many hair products you had. She set the bottle beside you, and greedily leaned in for another kiss. "Your wish is my command detka."

After Natasha finished you up she guided you to the door with a hand on your hip, and the other on your lower back for assistance. The redhead spun you, softly pressing you into the wall so she could have her last moment of alone time with you. She raised a single hand to cup your left cheek, she ran her thumb over a scar beneath your left eye. Memories of your first ever encounter, a hectic mission, flashes through the both of your minds. You share a reminiscent smile as you kissed her palm.

"I love you too," Natasha finally verbally reciprocates your earlier sentiment. It wasn't needed, her actions alone said it, but you never failed to melt when your lovers reminded you. You whined, your usual cry for attention, and Natasha pecked your lips just before opening the door so you could get in bed and rest.

When the two of you exited the bathroom you both smiled at the sight of your lover on the bed. The scene was overwhelmingly domestic. Wanda wore an oversized shirt of yours, with a smart remote in her hand, apparently keying in your favorite movie on Hulu, and you melted.

You leaned your tired body back into the redheads who leaned against the doorframe,  eyes falling to the rest of the targeted display.

On a tray to the left of the bed was three plates full of your favorite home cooked dinner of Wanda's, and three cans of varying sodas. On the bedside table sat a burn cream, a couple extra strength Tylenol, and a glass of water.

All of that alone was enough to make you want to cry. So, when Wanda jumped up and ran to embrace the both of you the tears actually fell. Your lovers rubbed your shoulders and sides lovingly, depositing kisses wherever they could as they let you have a moment to feel it all.

In there arms was where you felt the safest, you never knew what the feeling of home was like until you met them; they were your physical embodiment of a safety net, and now, you knew you'd always have something to fall into.

——

[wheredafandomat]

Undercover lover

Loki x female reader contains smut

When you were told you and Loki would be posing as a couple for a mission, you didn’t expect it to last for nearly three weeks. When you had first agreed to it, Steve assured it’d be for a few days max but having gained so little information in that time, you had to stay for longer. You didn’t mind, you and Loki were friends, but having to act as if you were together was starting to awaken feelings within you you had long suppressed. In proving your devotion to one another, your usual friendly smiles were exchanged for lustful smirks. Subtle touches were swapped for lingering caresses and chaste kisses usually given on the cheek were traded for more intimate kisses in less exposed places. You couldn’t even count the amount of times Loki had kissed you on the neck, every time becoming longer and longer. It was addictive, confusing. The man you had grown to accept as a friend was quickly becoming someone you fantasised about at night and the fact that he touched you so tenderly and kisses your skin so softly doesn’t make it any better.

Steve had phoned ahead to confirm that today was the day of the raid of the hotel that the cartel owned and that had been home for you and Loki these past three weeks. Being such a happy couple, you were given one of the more spacious suites which was good as there was a chaise lounge in one of the rooms which Loki offered to sleep in. Occasionally you insisted that he slept in the bed whilst you took the other room which he always refused. You wondered what he’d say if you suggested that you both slept in the bed. It was more than big enough for the both of you and by sure definitely more comfortable than the chaise lounge.

Aware that todays mission would be a dangerous one, Loki had mapped out all of the escape routes that the Avengers would ensure were clear. Being undercover, you both didn’t have any weapons that’d be useful in the gunfight that was probably going to occur. The team as well as Loki thought it better if you left and was taken to the compound whilst the raid happened. It was safer that way and that’s what he had to ensure, your safety.

Since Loki first arrived at the compound, he felt himself drawn to you. You both had a mutual understanding of one another and respected each other’s boundaries. Once boundaries are respected, they begin to dissipate. Loki didn’t enjoy company whilst he read so you ensured you gave him privacy until he had walked into the library early one day and saw you. That day, his days of reading alone ended. As time went on, he found himself growing fonder and fonder of you but never allowed his feelings or actions to reach beyond platonic. All until this mission. The suppressed feelings were hard to stay just that when he had to act as if he was your boyfriend. Whenever he hugged you, he revelled in the scent of your perfume. Whenever he touched you, he felt as if he’d finally discovered peace. Whenever he had the pleasure of trailing his lips over your skin, he felt alive, the feeling was electrifying.

Whilst you were folding away your clothes, you heard Loki come in. He knocked the bedroom door before you told him to enter.

“What’s the matter?” You asked him as he took a few steps in but remained quiet.

“Y/n, you know todays mission could be dangerous.” He began.

“I know, hence why we’re not staying during.” You smiled, packing one of your tops.

“The thing is, a few extra men have turned up and the boss wants me to stay to ensure things run smoothly. If I leave too early, he’ll realise somethings up and that could jeopardise the raid.” He explained, running of his hands over the back of the other nervously. You paused your movements, turning to look at him.

“Loki, you can’t stay.” You insisted.

“I have to, but I’ll ensure you’re out before anything happens.” He replied.

“Loki.” You sighed, walking towards him. “It’s too dangerous plus you don’t even have any weapons.”

“I’ll be fine” he smiled, placing a hand on your cheek.

“You’ve been out of training for weeks now and you don’t even have any comms, what if the team can’t reach you?” You protested.

“Y/n, I’ll be fine.” He said again, putting the other hand on your other cheek too. “Don’t worry about me, worry about getting home safely and finally not having to be around me everyday.” He chuckled.

“I like being around you everyday.” You blurted, catching Loki of guard for a moment as his eyes widened slightly.

“Well, then focus on getting home safely so we can watch a move when I get back.” He spoke as one of his hands began caressing your cheek.

“You’re the one who needs to stay safe.” You answered, eyes beginning to close as you melted into his touch. “Promise me.” You added.

“I promise.” He answered, kissing your forehead, lips in no rush to move as you felt his shallow breaths against your skin before his lips met the space above your brow again before slowly travelling lower to the tip of your nose where he kissed you again before seeing your tongue quickly darting out to subconsciously wet your lips. He wanted to kiss you, desperately wanted to kiss your lips. That’s the one thing that he had denied himself of in the time that he’s been your faux boyfriend. He’s never once had the satisfaction of lacing his lips with yours. Delicately, he tilted your face slightly up from where it rested in his hands before bringing his lips to yours in a short brushing of them. Finally, he thought as he rested his forehead on yours for a few moments, living in the moment. He thought he had overstepped, ruined things but you hadn’t given such indication. In fact, you pressed your lips to his, initiating another blissful kiss only this time it was longer, deeper. This one left you both slightly breathless as you pulled away for air, opening your eyes to look at one another, seemingly seeing each other in a different light before your eyes closed again as well as the gap between you both.

The next kiss grew desperate, frenetic. You pressed your body against Lokis as his hands left your face to roam your body. One hand settled on the small of your back as he brought you closer against him. One by one you began pulling one another’s clothes off, revelling in the feeling of your skin finally against each other’s. You were down to your lingerie when Loki finally broke the kiss and took a step back, appreciating the sight of you. Unlike the one time he accidentally walked in on you changing and quickly had to relieve himself thinking of the quick glance he got at your body, this time he was able to take you in properly, eye you shamelessly. Wrapping his arms around you, Loki lifted you, placing you against the bed as he balanced above you, kissing you again. His lips trailed over your neck, sucking at your pulse point causing a breathy call of his name to fall from your parted lips. His lips moved lower, kissing your chest as he moved over your breasts and then down past your navel before he reached your panty line.

Stopping his movements, Loki looked up at you. Opening your eyes as you felt him pause, you looked down at his silent questioning expression as he hooked a finger underneath the banding of your underwear. Nodding, you lifted your hips as Loki began pulling them down your legs, past your knees and then off from around your ankles. You laid, exposed as Loki widened your legs, settling between them as he kissed your inner thighs. You grew more aroused the closer he drew to your core. You felt him kiss your clit causing you to begin to pant as he wrapped his lips around it, sucking it. You laced one of your hands gently into his hair as he began lasciviously licking through your folds. Your hips lifted slightly at the breathtaking feeling of Loki drawing so much pleasure from you. His tongue licked up your slit as his name fell from your lips like a prayer. Your hips began moving in a circular motion as you reached your peak, your grip on his hair slightly tighter now.

“I’m gonna cum.” You moaned, eyes tightly shut as Lokis lips wrapped around your clit again, sucking until he felt you still, reaching your climax. He lapped up your juices, taking all you had to offer before ending his movements as he looked up at your sated expression. He balanced above you again, kissing you as your hand found the back of his neck, bringing him closer. You felt his erection nudging your leg through his boxers before you reached between you both and cupped it causing Loki to sigh contently. “I want to feel you.” You spoke between kisses “let me feel you Loki.”

Loki removed his boxers, you pushing them further down his legs with your feet as you felt his cock springing free and nudging your entrance. Loki gripped his length, trailing it through your slick folds as he lubricated himself. His tip settled at your entrance before he slowly began to press inside, both of you releasing a moan at the feeling as his thick length stretched your walls. Allowing you time to adjust to his size, Loki kissed your forehead, bottoming out before he pulled out and entered you again. Quickly, he settled into a rhythm that was slow and deep. You felt him so far inside you hitting that perfect spot with each thrust. He sucked on your neck, stifling his own moans as he moved in and out of you.

You felt yourself so close again as Loki swivelled his hips, increasing his pace as he desperately sought release. Your legs wrapped tightly around him, keeping him inside of you as you bucked your hips up. Practically screaming his name, you came again, walls pulsating around Lokis cock. The sensation spurred on his own orgasm as he ejaculated inside of you, coating your walls in his warm seed as he continued pumping lazily in and out of you before he finished. He remained inside you as you rode through your high before pulling out, a mixture of your arousal and his cum trickling out of you. Collapsing next to you, Loki pulled you against him as he regained his breath.

“Promise me you’ll stay safe.” You requested again.

“Well I have to now I know what I’ve got waiting for me at home.” He jested. Kissing you on the top of your head. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Tags:

@lokiprompts

@mischief2sarawr

@lokisninerealms

[gowns]

THIS IS VITAL. Do not convince yourself that you have "insomnia" or go into bed thinking you're going to have trouble sleeping. Even if you've been professionally diagnosed. Doctors don't care about you the same way you care about yourself, so keep this in mind. You're one of many patients to them so you need to take control of your own health, and sometimes that means completely rejecting their advice and diagnoses. You need to tell yourself that you're simply going through a rough period and sleep might be difficult, but you're fine. I can't stress how important it is to psychologically believe that things are fine and/or will get better. A major component of insomnia for people who suffer from anxiety is the very anxiety around not being able to sleep. The anxiety compounds the issue and it thus becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's one of the many cases in humans where if you believe it's a problem, it WILL be a problem.

You need to find a way to, over time, decouple the association between sleep and whatever negative delusional spin you're putting on it. Do not predict the future with false and irrelevant evidence from the past. A bad night of sleep, or no sleep the day before does not mean it's going to repeat in the future. This is highly ILLOGICAL, but your brain won't care about this, it will force those thoughts on you. Be aware of your own cognitive behaviors and beat them out with clear, logical thinking. Obviously, this will be difficult since emotional states cause us to think delusionally, and insomnia along with the accompanying sleep deprivation will make it worse, but the big takeaway is to realize that you can't really trust your brain at this time because it isn't functioning properly and is under a lot of stress. This process can take time, be patient with yourself, especially if you think nutrition might be a factor. It's vitally important to remember that YOU CAN FALL ASLEEP. EVERY HUMAN HAS THIS ABILITY unless you have extremely rare genetic disorders or severe nutritional deficiencies that can EASILY be corrected.

You need to realize that it's ENTIRELY NORMAL to have problems falling asleep for days, weeks or even months at a time. Your case is likely NOT UNIQUE, and many millions of people over millenia have suffered and successfully recovered from this disturbance. It is scary because it is happening to YOU, but take comfort in the fact that it is also common and treatable. This is not blind hope, or lying to yourself, these are FACTS THAT YOU NEED TO CONSTANTLY REMIND YOURSELF OF because your brain will already be doing a great job of bringing you down with negative thoughts. You must truly believe that you're going to get better and fix the problem, while taking every possible step you can to move the dial in the right direction towards progress.

Take comfort in the fact that many people have sleepless periods like this for various reasons. Stress, nutritional deficiencies, terrible diets, anxiety, grieving, depression, breakups, divorces, etc. It's crucial to remember that all psychological stresses will diminish over time and you will return to normalcy. Your brain is constantly adjusting towards homeostasis, so YOU WILL HEAL IN TIME. YOU MUST KNOW THIS. Don't get obsessive over how long your recovery is taking, or set arbitrary goalposts (e.i. "I should be fine in a week"). Take things one day at a time.

Also be aware that stress depletes magnesium, which is responsible for reining in ruminating thoughts and relaxing you. Again, I urge anyone with insomnia and/or anxiety to do ample research on magnesium. It is absolutely a life safer.

[x]

[melancholycatastrophe]

post-canon kimchay but they're freak4freak and both trying to trap each other in a relationship

this is not a fully formed thought but I can't stop thinking about how funny this would be. they're both so insecure about their relationship after they reconciled that they secretly look for ways to make sure the other will never leave them. kim, for some fucking reason, looks at vegaspete's domestic bliss with venice and decides a baby is the perfect solution instead of, like, communication.

we could go the mpreg route, but I think it would be infinitely funnier if neither of them could get pregnant so Kim tries to pull a Hannibal Lector and choreograph an accident that causes a child to fall into their custody. he starts investigating korn to see if he has a secret love child too and when that fails, he goes with kinn on home visits to ppl who owe them money to see if they have any small children they would be willing to trade in. he makes a detailed plan for how to get custody of a future kinnporsche child in case something ever happens, and its weirdly thorough. kinn finds his plans one day and is suddenly paranoid that kim is planning his death. they have an emergency family meeting and kim has to look kinnporsche straight in the eyes and tell them no, he's not trying to kill them, he just wants to steal their future child. this does not make anyone feel better.

meanwhile, chay is trying to subtly convince kim to atticwife him because he read it in a wikxreader fanfic once and thought it was hot. he starts acting defenseless in front of kim (and only kim, confusing the bodyguards when they see the switch happen), teasing out kim's possessive side, dropping hints about how much safer he would be if he never left kim's apartment. he looks up ropes, sleep inducing drugs, and handcuffs on the internet, contemplating whether kim would like him tied up on the bed or always sleepy. unfortunately for chay, porsche sees his search history through the compound wifi and confronts him. chay can't really tell him that he wants kim to keep him locked up forever, so he lies and says its a sex thing. and then they have the most awkward safe sex lecture, bdsm edition. porsche cries in the end.

neither of them know what the other is doing but they also don't hide it. chay leaves property magazines for large homes in remote places around kim's apartment. kim buys baby clothes and hides them in the back of his closet. chay ends up moving all his things to kim's apartment without telling him. kim babyproofs everything. when they have sex, chay convinces kim to tie him up to test the strength of his knot tying abilities, making a note to get kim to practics on tying them tighter so he can't get out; kim mumbles in chay's ear about having to finish before the baby wakes up. both of them think its a kink thing, they don't talk about it. they've been dating for, like, a year at this point and everyone else is concerned.

just babytrapper!kim and selfidentifiedatticwife!chay

brief edit: i know i said i was thinking about writing this but if anyone else wants to take a crack at this prompt, go ahead. please, i would love to read it

[notinthislife50]

Chapter 10 - The Party

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

With the new training program starting at the compound, the group decided you would be safer at Stark Tower and you were glad they did. You loved sitting by the big glass windows and staring out over the city.

One Night Tony decided you all needed a team-building party (Tony always had a reason for you all to sit together and drink) but you loved it.

You were standing with Natasha and Wanda at the bar “So have you made a choice yet?” Nat smiled

“No, but I don’t think I will “ you shook your head.

“Why not?“ she seemed shocked.

“Imagine,  me starting to date two men I would get called everything” you scoffed.

“Not by any of us,” Wanda tried to reassure you “It kind of makes sense to be honest, your all super soldiers, you and Bucky have the Hydra thing and Steve has the wanting to protect you and Bucky from everything thing.”

“Wanda is right,  I think we all think it’s inevitable you three will get together like Wanda said it just makes sense.”

You contemplated their words wondering if it was even a possibility to have them both and did any of them, never mind the two of them like you.

You watched Steve and Sam talking on the other floor and watched Bucky arguing with Rocket over something. And you smiled to yourself you couldn’t help it but in the past two months you had fallen for these men.

Natasha squeezed your arm “I'm just gonna go dance with Bruce” and you smiled at her and nodded.

“Go Wanda,  Vision is waiting for you.” you urged.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you alone” She looked worried.

“Wanda I have never felt safer in my whole life,  I'm sure, now go” you smiled hugging her then shoving her in the direction of her boyfriend.

You made your way toward Clint, Tony, Scott, and Thor.

“Is it okay if I sit with you guys for a minute?” you asked unsurely. 

“You know I put a safe in your room so you could actually take that thing off your wrist” Tony laughed.

“What can I say it brings out the colour in my eyes “You smiled back sitting beside Thor.

Clint sat forward and asked, “So,  can you tell us anything that’s in the case?”

“Not even a letter” you smiled back.

“Not even if any of us are in it?” he asked.

“You’re just gonna have to wait on my tell-all memoir “ you whispered back to him smiling.

You sat with the four men and they told you stories all about their missions and stories about each other. Your stomach hurt and tears ran down your face with laughter,  you were laughing so hard that a few people were starting to stare at you,  Bucky and Steve included.

You waved your hand and pleaded “Stop my sides hurt, no more.”

Scott laughed with you “It’s really nice to see how comfortable you are with us all now.”

“Well you all make it so easy” you sincerely said and you meant it, Scott especially had made an effort with you and besides Nat and Wanda, you found yourself sitting with him a lot.

“So skylark, you prefer the tower?” Tony smiled at you.

“Very much so“ you nodded.

“I’m going to have to build you a nest at that window with the amount of time you spend there.” he laughed.

“Why do you sit so much at the window?“ Thor asked.

You went quiet and smiled “It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen”

You felt the awkward tension after that question “Right “ you breathed “I suppose I better be more sociable and say hi to everyone else.”

As you got up and walked towards the window you didn’t see tony slap Thor upside the head.

“She was in hydra trapped in a basement, basement means no windows” he scolded  

[domoz]

Founders have me writing like crazy it seems. Another fic, cw for child abuse in this one. It gets nasty.

It's a beautiful spring evening when Hashirama decides that he needs to kill his father.

When his legs give out for the fifth time, Hashirama isn't able to force himself up again.

To say chichiue had been unhappy with what had happened at the Naka River would be an understatement. Hashirama had kept his head bowed through a long, long lecture, insisted over and over that he hadn't known because ignorance might be the only thing that could save him.

Punishment has been brutal, regardless. He's been taking his smaller than usual meals alone in his room, and even those have been more sparse than usual, because every waking has been consumed with ceaseless training.

"When you see that boy on the battlefield, you'll kill him."

Hashirama shudders and turns his face into the dirt. He won't, and that will probably end up worse for him than this, but that still isn't enough to make him willing to do it.

(Madara was like him. Madara wanted peace. Peace could mean that no one would be forced to do something like this ever again).

For the moment, though, Hashirama can't get his legs to cooperate. Today he'd been training his mokuton ('until you have enough wood to rebuild the whole compound twice over'), and he'd tried, he always tries, but he's never, not in his life, been this low on chakra before. The lack of it makes him feel dizzy and nauseous and cold, seems to amplify all the aches and pains of the last few days. He'd pulled a splinter out of his hand earlier and the spot has been aching and stinging for hours when normally he would have forgotten about it minutes after it happened.

He's exhausted and miserable, and his eyes are burning with unshed tears because letting them fall will mean he probably doesn’t even get to eat tonight. He's already going to be in trouble enough for falling again--

"Boy, you better not be taking a break." Butsuma's voice calls, far away as first but getting louder, "You're not even halfway done."

Hashirama's voice catches in his parched throat -- he's got no idea whether it'll be safer for him to admit the truth or make an excuse. Before he can decide, his brother's voice chimes in, and oh he hadn't even known Tobirama was here.

"Chichiue, he's low on chakra." It's said so matter-of-fact that Hashirama can't tell if he's being judged for it or not. But he's really not the happiest with Tobirama right now and in a poor mood anyways so all he feels at the comment Is a spike of anger harsh enough to send the tears he's been hold back spilling down his cheeks.

Why did you have to tell him that? Why do you keep ruining things?

Butsuma clicks his tongue.

"Shameful. But low chakra is not a reason for him to be on his back. Or crying."

Hashirama can only see the purpling sky, but he can hear the sneer in his father's voice.

"I just don't know what to do with you, boy. Maybe a real punishment is in order. To start with, no meals until you're done with this."

Hashirama stifles a sob. Fuck, but he's hungry. There's a heavy sigh from his father, but it's Tobirama's voice he hears next.

"Chichiue, is that… Wise?"

There is a heavy pause; Hashirama musters the strength to lift his head and is treated to a sight he wishes wasn't familiar. Tobirama's thin back is between him and Butsuma. His arms are crossed this time, but Hashirama knows his intent. His little brother trying to protect him, again.

This is your fault in the first place! A wounded part of his heart screams, but already he feels guilty for the thought.

(How was Tobirama to know who he'd been meeting? How was he to do anything but worry when his brother kept disappearing so soon after their last one had died? How was he to say no to an order?)

"It's just --" Tobirama's voice is uncharacteristically hesitant, "Harsh training is well and good, but if he's not able to recover his strength then he won't be able to act should an emergency happen. Right now, he'd be useless in a battle."

There is a weighty silence, one that stretches on long enough that it makes Hashirama's heart flutter with hope -- maybe Tobirama's words have managed to convince him, again.

"I have no intention of letting him go to battle until I'm sure he's learned his lesson." Another pause, and then "…You're more troublesome than you let on, boy."

Those words aren't meant for Hashirama. Tobirama stiffens just enough to be perceptible, and if Hashirama can see it in the state that he's in, there's no way that Butsuma missed it.

"That's what I thought. Tobirama, on your knees. I think you both need to understand something."

Tobirama hesitates for the barest moment before sinking down. He knows better than to protest in this situation. Hashirama struggles to roll over enough to see what is happening. To see how Butsuma has knelt down across from Tobirama to grab his chin in a bruising grip, how Tobirama's hands are fisted tight in the fabric of his pants.

"When I teach you that shinobi aren't to show emotions, what I mean is that they can't let their feelings affect their decisions." He forces Tobirama's face to turn, to meet Hashirama's wide eyes with his own, "But if you had taken that lesson to heart you would have seen how much better off your brother would be if he understood. You may hide what you feel, but I can see now how much you let those feelings rule you. You'd rather spare your brother pain than have him grow stronger and survive."

Butsuma reaches for a pouch and, and with his other hand he draws out a kunai. Tobirama doesn't struggle as it's pushed to his cheek, but instead goes very, very still. Hashirama's stomach swoops -- he wouldn't, he wouldn't--

"And you, Hashirama… I don't know what to do about that bleeding heart of yours. But you need to understand, if you're going to open yourself up to whatever poor kid with a sob story you meet in the woods you need to be strong enough to make certain that it can't hurt you."

He squeezes Tobirama's face, applies pressure. The kunai bites deep into his brother's cheek. Tobirama jerks in his hold and lets out an awful, warbled whine before cutting himself off.

"Stop." Begs Hashirama, voice breaking, He tries to push himself up only for his arms to give out from under him, "Stop it. Stop it!"

"If you want it to stop --" Says Butsuma, forcing Tobirama's face to turn the other direction and digging the kunai in to the other side, perfectly matching the first cut. "-- Then stop me. Get strong enough to stop me."

But Hashirama can't stand up. There's no sudden burst of strength -- he used that up ages ago. All he can manage is to drag himself a few inches forward through the dirt, fingers just able to reach where a spot of blood (his brother's blood!) has been flung to the ground.

"Please." His voice is hoarse, "Please, I understand. Please stop."

The look Butsuma levels at him is cold, a frown that says he doesn't believe him.

He tilts up Tobirama's head, cuts a final slash into his chin, before letting go. Standing up, stepping back, uncaring of the way his son has dropped to the ground like a puppet with it's strings cut.

"Guard your heart or grow strong enough to keep it safe, Hashirama. Those are your options."

He turns, leaves them alone on the training field under a rapidly darkening sky. It's only when he's out of sight that Hashirama feels sensation return to his limbs, feels just how hard his heart is pounding. Hears the near silent drip of blood onto the ground from Tobirama --

His breath hitches but he can't lose his head yet, his brother, his last baby brother, still hasn't moved.

"Tobi." He calls roughly, but there's still no reaction, "Tobi. Tobirama!"

When he finally pulls himself close enough, he reaches for his brother's hand, ignores the way it's trembling and sticky with blood (so much blood but it's fine, Tobirama has to be fine, head wounds just bleed more than most--). Only when he touches Tobirama does his brother react. Jerks away from him -- finally looks at him, but it's with eyes that are completely empty.

"We can't." Tobirama's voice is quiet. It cracks, but his little brother does not cry, even now, "He's waiting to see what we'll do."

Waiting to see if they'll turn to each other, he means.

"Tobi…" He calls, as Tobirama mechanically pushes himself to his feet, pulls his hand away. He wants to do something, needs to do something, to make this even a little okay, but he knows Tobirama is right, that if they try to help each other now the lesson will only repeat itself.

Tobirama shakes his head, walks towards the main house with his head ducked low, leaving a trail of blood behind him.

And Hashirama still can't force himself onto his feet to follow.

He falls back onto the dirt, throat tight. A few more tears spill out, but not many. He doesn't have anything left in him to cry.

He feels -- empty. He thinks he should be feeling more but all that's left behind his breastbone is hollow. And if he feels like this, than Tobirama must be…

He broke something, Hashirama thinks hysterically, He broke something in me and I think he might have broken Tobirama, too.

There's a bile building in the back of his throat as the realizations hit him. He can't let that happen again, won't survive if it does.

If you want to stop me, then stop me. Get strong enough to stop me.

That had been the lesson. Maybe Hashirama can finally learn this one.

The determination to build peace and a village had made him feel warm. The determination to do this settles like lead in his guts.

If any of his dreams are going to happen, he needs to get strong enough to stop his father.

[chiomaus]

observations on germany from a british person

very cool i would love to live there one day

political system less fucked than the UK (im really bitter on UK politics and brexit atm). not perfect by any means and has the same issues as we do here with the alt-right, but no shitty first-past-the-post system and people still seem to be largely in favour of the EU

public transport my beloved. people clown on the unreliability of german trains but i don't think UK trains are much better AND ours are way more expensive (love the deutschland ticket 👌). i love how ubiquitous the tram/metro is in german cities

better cycling infrastructure. in a lot of places you're just allowed to ride on the path, which (duh) is safer than riding on the road

love the Pfand system. very cool

love the recycling system. very cool

more tolerant of graffiti?? in that it doesn't seem to get cleaned off as quickly as in the UK. which actually leads to people creating cool art bc they know it won't get removed rather than writing their tag 5 times on the side of a building

somewhat less polite and less respectful of personal space. but i also met so many kind and helpful people while i was there. shout out to the woman on the U-Bahn with her daughter who helped me figure out how to get home the one time i had issues with the train. also my Airbnb hosts who invited me to dinner at their apartment (white asparagus and potatoes!)

just generally there seems to be way more arts and culture around. even walking under a railway bridge there were cool poster designs for shows and such

housing market slightly less fucked?? some rent control laws, less obsession with owning a house, more compact housing. possibly related: high streets don't seem to be dying like they are here

great vegetarian and vegan food. really didn't expect this but there is so much you can buy in the supermarkets. i love the vegetarian ham and i'm sad we don't have it here

largely into football and beer. so we are alike in that regard. but i am not into football or beer and coincidentally neither were any of the people i met

has four of the world's suspended monorails. cool!

beautiful language idc what anyone else says. you really do put your whole pussy into it when you speak german. i like how compound words are constructed like legos and the esoteric sentence structures are interesting (really does bury the lede when multiple important verbs are sent to the end of a sentence). don't like adjective endings though

cash everywhere but i did go into one cafe in cologne which was card only

german TV is not great. i would imagine there is less motivation to create original german TV bc they just import the best international TV and dub it. tatort was good though i liked that

additionally: yes EVERYTHING is dubbed. best one i came across was futurama. good for me to practice my listening comprehension

internet is not great. slower on average than UK. but i never found myself without mobile signal

related: just generally slower to accept new technologies. i don't think this is awful. i know germany is big on privacy laws, but having to make in-person appointments for government stuff and not having a centralised government website like we do here sounds a pain

healthcare system less fucked than the UK. although the whole thing with public/private insurance seems confusing

unemployment benefits / disability benefits sound somewhat better than the UK??

autobahn is not actually faster than the UK on average bc for every 150kph stretch there will be another stretch with roadworks and a 60kph limit

less dogs :( i did see some nice dogs though. now that i think about it i didn't see a single cat, even outside of built-up areas. can't really find any info on this though

sensible laws around things like noise pollution, home schooling (illegal!), shop opening hours

i actually like that most places close on sunday. very peaceful and quiet

slightly more religious than the UK. there are some very cool brutalist churches though

OH YEAH. buildings in general just prettier. there seemed to be a different attitude to the UK when it came to rebuilding post-war (very much emulating what was there before). but even an ugly german building is more interesting to me than an ugly british building. i absolutely despise the soulless housing estates we have here

BMW / audi drivers still shit drivers

you have to pay for things like public toilets and water in restaurants

few more i thought of:

british people are better at queuing (i had to give us something)

british electrical plugs are vastly superior to EU electrical plugs

you don't have to pay for university in germany (practically – it's like €100??). i forgot this one bc i have already been saddled with £50,000~ of student debt so it's no longer relevant to me

you can buy a beer in mcdonalds in germany

ok that's everything that comes to mind. i know i am speaking as a tourist who has spent 2 weeks~ in germany total (and only the NRW region) so i guess i'll just have to keeping coming back to refine my opinion. and in the meantime if anyone from germany / EU wants to fall madly in love with me and marry me so i can sneak back into the EU that would be great. man or woman or other i am open-minded

[flightlessangelwings]

La Estrella de mi Vida, Part 2/3

Javi Gutierrez x fem!reader (nicknamed Estrella, no use of y/n)

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: smut (18+ ONLY!), handjob, unprotected sex, outdoor car sex, injury and blood (not super descript), reader has medical knowledge, hurt/comfort, feelings, fluff, lots of movie easter eggs in this one (please let me know if I missed anything)

Notes: This is my favorite part cause of all the fluff and feelings and sweetness! I see this part taking place about a year before the movie. And I promise the ending to this part is much happier than it was in part 1 lol! And I hope y’all enjoy the movie references I put in here too. Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates​ is my update blog to stay up to date on when I post!

~

Your father’s clinic has been busier than ever lately. Part of you was grateful for it; helping your father out was a good distraction from your heartbreak, but at the same time it was draining work. You mostly helped clean and sitch up injuries, the same thing your father specialized in, and you also did all the books for him and helped keep the clinic running behind the scenes. 

Since there were few your father trusted, a lot fell on you.

Since the day Javi pushed you away years ago, you hadn’t been back to the compound. Yet, you thought about him often, especially when other cartel members would talk. Sometimes you saw one of Javi’s men, and the temptation was there to ask about him, but you kept your mouth shut.

A lot of the men you tended to sometimes hit on you while you helped them, but they usually backed off once they realized you were the doctor’s daughter. Mostly you ignored their advances, you were used to the looks anyway, but lately you would pick select men to see for one night to try and fill the void that Javi left. None of them ever lived up to Javi though, and you never called them again. Not that they expected any more than one night with you anyway.

“Mijia,” your father called from his office one afternoon.

You rushed in since his voice sounded urgent, “Something wrong?”

“I need you to go on a house call for me,” he hung up the phone and stood, “The Martinez brothers are keeping me busy here and the Gutierrez estate just called needing help.”

The name froze you in place, “Javi…” you whispered.

“It doesn’t sound too critical, there was a car accident and he can’t make it over here. I think you can handle that on your own,” your father tried to reassure you as he crossed the room and put his hand on your shoulder, “You got this, corazon.”

While you hadn’t told your father the details of your brief relationship with Javi, he was a smart man and he knew something was up when you came home the next morning with a solemn look on your face. Of everyone that he saw in the clinic, your father would have been happy to see you with Javi. He was a good judge of character, and he could tell that Javi was a good man with a good heart and would take care of you when he couldn’t. But, it didn’t seem in the cards for you, so your father just supported you as best he could, even in his older age now.

“I’m proud of you, you know that right?” Your father nudged you to try and coax a smile. He noticed the way your body tensed at the name, and though he knew you weren’t happy about it, you could go since he asked you to. Still, he truly meant those words to you. Although there were times he wished he could have given you a better, safer, more stable life, your father was still grateful to have you by his side.

“Thanks papa,” you flashed a brief smile and gave him a hug before you gathered your supplies and went on your way.

You gritted your teeth the entire drive to the Gutierrez compound as you mumbled incoherent curses to yourself. This was the last place you wanted to be, but duty called. You were good at what you did, though it wasn’t your calling. It was just what seemed like the next step in your life, following your father’s footsteps.

Your grip on the steering wheel tightened as the massive estate came into view, “Dammit, Javi,” you muttered to yourself as you forced yourself into a more neutral expression. How would you react when you saw him again for the first time in years? Part of you wanted to just slap him silly, but you also couldn’t help the nervous butterflies in your stomach at the prospect of seeing him again. The guard let you in and you quickly made your way into the grand room where they kept Javi.

But all your conflicting emotions vanished when you walked into the room and saw Javi lying on the couch in a bloody mess. Even from a distance, you saw a huge bruise on his cheek and his side was soaked in blood. He looked terrible, and yet when he saw you, his face lit up and he looked just as beautiful as the day you last saw him.

“Mi estrella…” his voice was so soft that you barely heard him, but you knew exactly what he said.

Suddenly, nothing from the past mattered anymore and all you cared about was getting him fixed up, “Shit Javi, what happened?” you asked as you rushed to his side and quickly dug out your tools.

Javi let out a labored laugh, “It was stupid,” he dropped his head in embarrassment, “I was driving through the cliffs and lost control.”

Somehow, his story was a relief to you: no gunfight, no break in, so cartel related battle, just a car accident. “Let me see,” you gently coaxed his hand from his side to inspect the wound underneath. It was a good sized gash, but it was superficial, so you quickly ruled out the possibility that something punctured an organ. There were several more cuts and bruises along his torso, with one more major one along his collarbone, and a bruise on his cheek and cut above his eyebrow. Overall, it was messy, but nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

“It looks worse than it is,” you sighed with relief, “This just may sting a bit while I clean and sew this up,” when your eyes met Javi’s again, the look on his face nearly took your breath away. But, you quickly regained your composure, “Do you have any drugs in your system right now?” you asked.

Javi only giggled as his head fell back onto the couch, “Ay, estrella…” he sounded like he wasn’t fully here, and it partly gave you the answer you needed. Still, you needed to know exactly what he took.

“Javi,” you made yourself sound as stern as you could.

He lifted his head and looked you in your eyes and you swore the world around you froze for a moment. After a pause, Javi exhaled and admitted quietly, “LSD.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed deeply, “You took LSD and then went driving in the cliffs?! How could you be so reckless?” Your voice trembled more than you wanted it to, but you bit the inside of your cheek to keep any tears at bay.

It must have been the worry in your eyes or the tone of your voice, but the grin on his face melted away into a more somber expression, “I am sorry, estrella,” he said sheepishly.

Not sure what to make of his demeanor, you just stared at Javi for several moments. It wasn’t until he hissed in pain that you remembered why you were here in the first place. You quickly grabbed some materials from your bag and got to work, “Ok, I’m going to use some numbing here so I can close this wound,” you told him as you used disinfectant on his skin and prepped the needle, “This will pinch a bit, but then you shouldn’t feel anything other than pressure.”

“I trust you,” Javi whispered your name as he stayed still and let you work.

You didn’t dare look him in the eye again, but you felt his intense gaze on you the entire time. The wound truly wasn’t as bad as it looked once you cleaned away all the blood, and no major blood vessels were damaged. While Javi remained silent and watched you during the whole process, you talked him through every step you made, just like you would any other patient. You still kept your eyes away from his face, but you hoped it brought him some comfort.

Once the big gash on his side was sealed, you turned your attention to the smaller marks and cuts. First, you inspected and bandaged the slash on his collarbone, and you tried your best to ignore the feeling of the soft skin of his chest or the steady beat of his heart under your fingers. Then you cleaned and disinfected the smaller cuts along his skin until only the bruise on his face remained.

That was when you had to look into Javi’s eyes again, and the look on his face nearly made your heart explode from your chest. He looked so sincere, and he looked like he wanted to say something to you, but held himself back. 

The truth was he wasn’t to tell you how sorry he was for that morning, and how much he missed you. He wanted to explain everything to you, and tell you that he only ever wanted to protect you.

But now was not the time.

“Ok, that’s it,” your voice broke Javi out of his own head, “The numbing will wear off in a few hours. Make sure you take something for the pain because you’ll be sore. And no more acid until you’re healed… And don’t drive while you’re high for fuck’s sake please Javi.”

Your words brought a soft smile to his face. With everything he wished he could tell you, he wasn’t sure how to respond, so he decided to try and make you smile instead, “So you think I’ll live?”

Javi got his wish and you cracked a slight smile at his joke. Not like you hadn’t heard that joke a thousand times before, but this felt different coming from him, “It was touch and go for a bit,” you joined his banter, “But I think you’ll be ok.”

He grasped his chest dramatically, “Oh thank you, thank you! I owe you my life.” If you only knew how much he actually meant those words, even if he was joking with you at that moment.

You rolled your eyes playfully and stood up, “Just take it easy, Javi. I’ll come back in a couple days to check on you.”

“I look forward to it, mi estrella.”

The tone in Javi’s voice awoke something within you, and you swallowed hard to contain the sudden rush of emotions and ran through you. With a nod, you turned and left. And for the second time in his life, Javi watched you walk away though everything in him screamed to tell you to stay.

Like clockwork, you came back three days later to change the bandages and check on Javi. He looked drastically improved from the day you saw him covered in blood, and that you were grateful for. The truth was you hardly slept all those days, too worried for Javi to sleep. And Javi practically counted the hours until he saw you again. It was easier for him to push you away when he didn’t see you, but now that you were in front of him again, he felt weak against his own feelings for you.

“You did a good job,” Javi praised you as you put away your materials.

“Thanks,” you replied, “Years of patching up drug dealers and arms traders really prepared me for this one,” you added, trying to stay light-hearted. But the heaviness hung in the air despite your best efforts.

Javi stared at you as you lingered and fiddled with your fingers. Both of you seemed like you had so much to say to the other, yet neither of you were sure how to start that conversation. So, you just stayed awkwardly in Javi’s large house as the clock ticked the seconds.

“Well, if you’re better, I guess I should g…”

“Do you want to take a drive out to the cliff with me?” Javi cut you off before you had a chance to leave him again.

You gave him a stern expression, yet it held no malice. After a pause, you finally answered, “You clean today, Javi?”

He let out a deep breath of relief as a smile flashed across his face, “I swear.” 

The cliffs were sincerely stunning. No wonder Javi liked to drive out here so much. It was beautiful and peaceful, with just the trees and bushes around for miles on one side and the coast on the other. It felt like you and Javi were the only two people in the world while you were out here, and all of your problems and troubles were far behind. Javi drove in a comfortable silence for some time until the sun started to drop in the sky.

He parked the truck along the cliff so you could settle in the back and watch the view. The way the sun glistened off the waters was breathtaking. The faint sounds of the waves crashing against the cliffs below only added to the serene atmosphere.

“It’s so beautiful,” you sighed as you gazed out along the water.

“It is,” Javi agreed, never taking his eyes off you.

The two of you were seated side by side in the back of his truck, your hands close enough to touch. Though you both felt the warmth of the other, neither of you dared to move and touch the other. Perhaps neither of you were sure what would happen if you gave in to that temptation. And you did not want to get yourself into a similar situation as the last time you were alone with Javi and gave into your feelings.

Both you and Javi opened your mouths and turned to the other at the same time. Your overlapping words drowned out the other as you both tried to talk at the same time. But, as you looked into Javi’s eyes, suddenly you felt a warmth and you couldn’t help but giggle, to which Javi quickly joined in.

“You go ahead,” he insisted as he sat back and waited for you to gather your thoughts once more.

“I just,” you let out a deep breath, “I can’t believe I’m here… With you.”

“I cannot believe it either,” he whispered.

You exhaled heavily, “It’s just… What happened, Javi? That morning?”

When you turned and met his eyes, Javi wasn’t prepared for the hurt he saw behind them. It felt like he got punched in the gut when you looked at him like that. “I…” he paused, “I couldn’t…”

 Before he could finish, you felt a sudden rush of emotions and you couldn’t help but burst out, “Do you have any idea how used I felt? You fucking broke my heart, Javi!”

“I’m sorry, estrella. But I did what I had to do,” he tried to fight the tears, but his eyes watered anyway. It was the last thing in the world he wanted to do, yet he still hurt you anyway, and for that Javi could never forgive himself.

Tears of your own formed as you choked back a sob and raised your voice, “Have you even thought about me at all? Or was I just a distraction for you?”

“You were never just a distraction! I thought about you every single day!” Javi shouted back, “Not a day went by that I didn’t think of you. Your perfume stayed in my room for days… and every time I looked at the stars… I remembered how beautiful you looked in their light. Everywhere I looked I was reminded of you.”

“Then why did you push me away?” This time your voice was just a whisper, but Javi heard the pain behind your words.

That was it, Javi couldn’t keep the secret any longer. Between the emotions he felt and the way you looked at him, he knew you deserve the truth, “To protect you,” he paused when your eyes went wide, “When my cousin took over the cartel, he made me be the figurehead. And he told me it was the best way to protect you but… I knew you wouldn’t be safe if you were seen too much with me. And I could bear putting you in danger because of me.”

You were stunned into silence for several long moments as you processed what he told you before you spoke again in a soft tone, “Javi, you forget who my father is. I’ve been in danger since the day I was born. Let me make my own decisions on what I want to risk.” 

Javi was stunned. “And you would take that risk… for me?”

You leaned forward and cupped Javi’s face, “I would,” you whispered before you took his lips with your own. 

Javi moaned into your mouth as he grabbed onto your arms. His lips parted for you and the moment your tongue hit his, an explosion of emotions and memories flooded his veins. The taste of you may have left his tongue, but it never left his mind, or his heart.

But suddenly, Javi was brought back to the present when you moved yourself into his lap and straddled him. Your lips never left his as you shifted and settled yourself over him.

“W-wait…” Javi breathed. He couldn’t let you go, but the weight of his burden was heavy on his shoulders still. And though you made your own decision, Javi still worried for you. 

“What’s wrong Javi?” you asked, sacred that you might lose him again because of your boldness.

Javi’s fingers tapped random patterns on the skin of your arms, “Are you sure we should be doing this, estrella?”

The fear in Javi’s eyes made sense now, and you let out a deep sigh as you studied every tiny expression in his face. It took a moment for you to answer his question with one of your own, “Are you going to break my heart again?”

The question made his face drop and his eyes misted. Javi stared back at you as he processed the emotions you held in your face. “I only tried to protect you… But I promise you,” he whispered your name, “I will never hurt you ever again.”

You exhaled deeply as a soft smile flashed across your face, “Well figure this out,” you leaned in and hovered your lips over his once more, “We’ll find a way. That’s my promise.”

Javi said your name in a soft prayer as he cupped your face. His thumb brushed your cheek as happy tears welled in the corners of his eyes, “You are…”

Before he could finish his thought, you crashed your lips into his as you grabbed the collar of his shirt. Javi let out a muffled moan as he tightened his grip on your face. He was immediately lost in your touch, but not so lost to miss the tears of your own that fell down your face and splashed his hands. A sudden desperation came over both of you as you both tugged at the other’s shirts hastily until you were both topless.

But before Javi could reach for you, you already fiddled with the zipper of his pants. When your eyes met his, he saw the fire that burned there, and he remembered the last time you looked at him like this. Instead of fighting you, Javi just rested his hands on you once more and let you take the lead. A smirk flashed on your face when you understood the wordless gesture.

His pants were silky soft under your fingers, and the zipper came undone easily. You were too eager, too filled with need to get his pants off entirely, so you focused on just freeing his cock. A low whimper escaped your lips when you set your eyes on him again after all those years, and Javi’s cock twitched in your hand at the sound you made.

“Estrella…” Javi whispered as his hands roamed all over your skin wherever he could reach.

“Javi,” you echoed as you wrapped your hand around his length and slowly pumped him.

His eyes fluttered shut as he rocked his head back the moment you touched him. To have you again after all these years was surreal to Javi, yet he didn’t want to wake up if this was a dream. He thought of you every night, every time he jerked himself off he pictured you. Every night when he went to bed he remembered what it was like to have you there with him. Truly not a day went by that you didn’t cross his mind at least once.

But the reality was even better.

Javi moaned as you stroked him harder. Your hand was so soft and warm, and you squeezed him just in the right spots. As you sped up, Javi groaned louder and tightened his grip on your shoulders. He saw stars every time you reached the tip and rubbed your thumb across the sensitive skin there. And when you hit the base and gently tickled his balls, Javi inhaled sharpy and his eyes flew open.

He wanted you to keep going. He never wanted you to stop pleasuring him with your expert touch. He never wanted you to let him go. He wanted to surrender to you forever. But, Javi also wanted- needed- to be inside you again.

“Wait,” Javi panted.

Immediately, you stopped and rested your hand on his chest, “What’s wrong?” you asked in concern.

“Need you… Estrella…”

Even though the broken thoughts and heavy breaths, you knew exactly what Javi wanted… What he needed. And you wanted him inside you just as badly as he did. It had been far too long since the last time you saw him… had him. As much as you tried not to, you thought about Javi all the time. The way he made you feel was unlike anyone else before, and you were sure you wouldn’t feel like that towards anyone else but him. Javi was special, and he was the only person in the world who held your heart.

“Oh Javi,” you let go of his cock and dug your palms into his chest as you lunged forward and kissed him desperately.

Moans and groans from both of you reverberated between your bodies as you rocked your hips against his. You squeezed and massaged Javi’s chest while his hands dropped down to your ass and gripped it firmly. He smirked as he swallowed the moan you let out before he hastily worked on removing the rest of your clothing.

The kiss deepened as Javi stripped you without breaking away for even a second. He missed the taste of you, and he wanted to spend as long as he could tangled with you. And you didn’t want to break away either.

In what felt like a flash, you found yourself in Javi’s lap in nothing but your bra and panties. The rest of your skin was exposed to the world, and the crisp fresh air made your skin break out in soft goosebumps. But, the heat from Javi’s touch perfectly balanced the cool air from the sea, and everything just felt right. It felt like you were meant to be here, in this moment, with him.

And the sight of you in just your lingerie only made the beautiful scenery around you all the more radiant. The setting sun made you glow, and the way the light reflected in your eyes made you look like a goddess.

“Javi… Please…”

It was your turn to plead desperately as the two of you lost yourselves in the other’s eyes.

“I’ve got you, Estrella,” Javi guided your hips over his cock with a tender touch.

You let out a sigh as you pushed your panties to the side and lined yourself up with the tip of his length. Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream as you felt the thick yet familiar stretch of Javi’s cock against your pussy. Javi let out a whine as he watched you slowly sink onto him and he disappeared inside you. 

As your warmth immediately engulfed him, Javi let out a whispered, “Fuuuck,” and gripped you even tighter.

“Shit,” you murmured as you fully sat yourself on his lap and felt his length fill you up completely, “Fuck Javi I’ve missed this.”

Javi let out a labored chuckle, “Estrella I have missed you every fucking day.”

Fresh tears formed in your eyes before you could stop them as you looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity there. Everything about this moment was perfect, and the only negative either of you could think of was that it took so long to get here.

Not trusting your voice, you leaned forward and rested your forehead against his as you slowly lifted yourself up and then back down. Javi wrapped his arms around you and held you as you rode him in a slow and steady rhythm, both of you moaning and breathing heavily in the other’s air.

As the need grew, you moved faster. Your moans got louder as you impaled yourself on Javi’s cock over and over again. Javi grunted as your heat enveloped him over and over again. You were so wet and warm and comforting, and Javi was sure this time he wouldn’t let you go. 

Javi grunted as he ran his hands up your sides and cupped your breasts through your bra. His action made you moan loudly and you threw your head back. Your sounds echoed through the cliffs but you didn’t care. All you cared about was Javis’s hands on you and Javi’s cock inside you.

“Ay, Estrella,” Javi groaned before he leaned forward and bit down on your exposed neck, “You drive me crazy,” he licked and sucked wherever he could reach.

“Oh fuck… Javi…” you couldn’t form any further thought than his name.

“Your beauty compares to nothing,” he murmured against your skin, “I am the biggest fucking idiot for letting you go before,” Javi moved his hands to your back and nudged you forward so that your gazes met again, “I will not make that mistake again.”

“Javi,” you were breathless as you stilled yourself for a moment.

He smirked, “Now let’s make up for lost time.” 

This time Javi took the lead as he positioned himself below you. He bucked his hips up as he thrust into you from below, which made you scream in pleasure.

“Fuck!”

He held you close as you placed your forehead on his again. Javi’s sudden enthusiasm caught you off guard and all you could do was hold on to him while he pounded into you from below. 

It didn’t take long for a familiar warmth and tingle to spread from your core. And as your moans got louder and louder, Javi could tell you were close. And his own grunts and moans mirrored yours as he was close too.

“You going to cum, Estrella?” Javi strained his words as he didn’t let up his pace.

“Yes,” you whispered, “I’m so close, Javi.”

He groaned as you cleaned around him, “Me too,” he kept one hand around you while the other snuck between your bodies and played with your clit, “Cum with me, hermosa.”

The scream you let out went right to Javi’s cock and he couldn’t help but thrust harder and faster. He moaned your name as he felt his climax quickly approach, and the way you dug your nails into his shoulders told him you weren’t far behind. With just a few more thrusts, both of you came at the same time; moans and curses and whimpers flowed between you as you both rode out your orgasms together.

You trembled against him, and you felt his body do the same. Sweat lined both your bodies as the heat spread between you. It was hot and heavy and desperate and the way you rocked against each other spoke everything that words couldn’t.

When neither of you had anything more to give, you both collapsed down onto the flatbed of the truck in a sweaty panting mess. Heavy breaths were the only sound for several minutes as you laid on top of Javi, his cock still buried deep inside you. But it was a comfort for both of you; neither of you were ready to lose that connection just yet. 

But as the sun set, a chill ran up your spine and you knew you had to move.

“Hang on Estrella,” Javi slowly pushed himself up, “I’ve got you.”

You whimpered as you felt him pull out of you, but Javi never broke away from you completely. Even while he settled himself and reached for a blanket, he always kept at least one hand on you. Too tired to move too much, you let him care for you as he pulled you against his chest and wrapped his arms and the blanket around you.

For some time, you both just laid together like that in the truck as the sun set. Javi gently caressed you as you laid on his chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It wasn’t what you expected would happen, but you wouldn’t complain at all. It was perfect anyway, and it was all because of Javi. No words were needed for a long while as you laid comfortably together.

“Do you think you’ll take over when your father retires?” Javi broke the silence with something that had been on his mind for some time.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “He never said anything either way to me, but it’s not like I can just leave completely. You and I both know that this isn’t a world you simply walk away from.”

“I know…” Javi paused as he just held you tight, “What would you do if you had the choice?”

“I’m not sure, I never really was given an option so I never thought about it,” you shifted so that you looked into Javi’s eyes, “What about you? What would you do if you could?”

“I’ve… I’ve always wanted to write a screenplay,” he admitted shyly.

A smile lit up your face, “You should.”

“You really think so?”

“I do,” you placed a soft kiss on the tip of his nose, “That eulogy you wrote for your father was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I think you would be amazing.”

Javi only exhaled with a bewildered smile on his face before he guided you back down to rest on his chest. A comfortable silence fell between you again, and you just stayed in Javi’s arms for some time as you both watched the sun set completely.

“Who is your favorite actor?” Javi changed the subject into something lighter. Perhaps he just wanted to feel like he was on a real date with you, no pressures of the underground world, no dangers, no worries. Just you and him.

“Hmmm,” you thought for a moment, “Oscar Isaac.”

Javi scoffed playfully, “Of course he is,” he teased as he gave your shoulders a squeeze.

“Don’t be jealous,” you retorted right back as you poked his stomach, “What about you? Who is your favorite actor?”

He didn’t answer right away, and just fell silent as he scrunched his eyebrows deep in thought. After some time, he broke the silence with a question you didn’t expect, “Estrella, can I show you something I have never shown anyone before?”

You lifted your head and looked at him with a puzzled expression, “Please don’t tell me you have a large drug stash… Or a pile of bodies or something.” You were only half joking since you had no idea what he was up to the past few years. And you wondered what his question had to do with his favorite actor, “You don’t have your favorite actor chained in your basement do you?”

“No, no,” Javi chucked, “Nothing like that,” he paused, “Come, let me just show you.”

“Ok…” you trusted Javi, but you still had no idea what to expect as you both got dressed and hopped into the front of the truck.

But whatever you were expecting definitely wasn’t this.

“Oh… Wow…” you were at a loss for words.

Javi seemed nervous beside you, “You don’t think it’s ridiculous?”

On the far end of Javi’s compound was a sealed room with a mirrored door and inside was the largest collection of Nicolas Cage merchandise you had ever seen in your life. Everything from movie posters to signed photos to movie props lined the walls. You knew he was a big fan of the actor, but you had no idea Javi was emmassing a collection like this.

But, you had no judgment whatsoever, “Not at all,” you turned around and faced him and kissed him softly, “You truly have it all, it’s impressive really.”

Javi rested his arm on your waist and pulled you close with a laugh, “I don’t have it all, estrella, not yet.”

The cheesy line made you burst into laughter as you placed your hand on his chest, “Javi…”

He joined your laughter and the two of you just stayed like that, enjoying the other’s company as you descended into a fit of giggles. Javi took the opportunity to kiss your cheek as he pulled you in closer.

A week later, a package arrived at Javi’s compound with a note on it. When he opened the letter, it was your handwriting:

“For the man who has everything.” 

Inside the box was a sequin pillow. It was red and shiny at first, but as Javi ran his hand across it, a face appeared. He couldn’t help the bright grin on his face as his curls fell into his eyes as the face of his favorite actor was revealed. A joyful tear rolled down his cheek as he held the pillow close and whispered…

“Te quiero, mi estrella.” 

[travelingneuritis]

kinnporsche ep. 7: Love Bomb

-we start out with a recon mission, live grenade slapstick, and ”a win for the minor family”-- whatever the hell that means (vegas showing up at the last minute with the cavalry, maybe?). any win for the minor family is a loss for the main family, even though they’re nominally on the same side & the two families pool information and resources regularly. but they still seem to mutually regard one another as the real enemy. god, everyone in Mafia is so untrusting.

-pete’s the one who calls off big while he’s whaling on their prisoner, but not from squeamishness: he just doesn’t trust big to properly hurt their songbird without accidentally killing him. their methods of violence are blunt and unsubtle, not suited for interrogation. time for vegas to step in. 

we’re indulging in the tv fantasy that torture actually works (it does not). anyway, this scene is less about the plot information they glean, and more about establishing both vegas’s sadism and pete’s reaction to it. the camera pans down the line of bodyguards all looking disturbed and disgusted only to land on pete, who looks calm, clear-eyed, and contemplative. he always knew vegas was a dangerous, volatile man and gave him a correspondingly wide berth, apparently content to avoid him as much as possible. the torture scene seems to change something about the way he regards vegas, and he watches him perform unregistered dentistry with a kind of detached speculation, like he just figured out there’s something here worth studying.

-unaware he’s just placed himself on pete’s radar, vegas is still fixated on porsche, demanding that kinn loan him out for some sort of sting operation or... something. idk, the plot is by far the least compelling part of this show.

anyway, kinn has no choice but to concede, which sucks but leads to a sweet moment where he confesses this is the first time he’s ever felt it would be preferable to be humiliated by the minor family’s “success” if it means porsche comes back to him safely. as usual, the slightest bit of affirmation from kinn has porsche glowing.

-vegas sweet-talking porsche is comedically unnatural. he’s clearly trying to impress him with an idyllic nickel tour of the sausage factory, and while i can see porsche appreciating the comparatively laid-back atmosphere, he’s a.) capable of comprehending that the minor family is just as politically fraught as the main family, so there’s hardly a guarantee he would be any safer or happier here than there, and b.) not taken in by vegas’s nicey-nice senior brother schtick, which is fake as hell and way less likely to work now that kinn is being a human to him. he just kinda takes in the scenery without letting it touch him-- you can tell his thoughts are elsewhere.

-is there any significance to pete bowing to the little shrine in the hallway, or is that just pete character building? the mary statue at the party later seems quite deliberately centered as well, but if there’s some deeper symbolism there i’m not getting it.

-korn’s “knife talk” is chilling and succinct: he can see kinn has developed strong feelings for porsche and is sympathetic, but kinn had better not mistake sympathy for permission. the explicitly dehumanizing metaphor of the knife “ruined” through love... yikes, korn. 

-i’m curious about vegas and macau’s relationship. macau is suddenly being very reasonable to the guy he blames for sending him to swim with the fishes. it’s tempting to assume that vegas simply scared him into making nice, but i suspect it’s a little more complicated than that. for one thing, when macau was bitching and bleeding back at the major family’s compound, vegas was the only one in the room who actually like, checked to see that he was okay. besides, if macau were simply scared into making up with porsche i would expect him to act... y’know, scared? avoidant at least? instead he’s coming off pretty earnest, like he’s sincerely trying to wingman his brother, and there’s that conspiratorial smile-and-nod as he passes vegas on his way out. i’m sure he’s aware that vegas is not someone to be crossed, and vegas might even have used some intimidation to ensure macau falls in line-- but i bet that was just one prong of his approach. maybe he also appealed to their mutual desire to one-up the main family, or reminded him that porsche is just a pawn and not worth holding a grudge against. i think their relationship, though largely glossed-over, is one of the more intriguing ones in a show with a lot of very complicated brotherly bonds.

-chay is an unbearably fluffy, cute baby rabbit and kim is the fox whose open jaws he is unthinkingly napping in. i find myself incredibly tense during their scenes together.

-surprising exactly no one, kinn is a Mean Jealous, breaking out the old “you belong to me and i can give you to whoever i like” rhetoric when porsche so much as teases him for being possessive. vegas reads the room and likes his chances, although i think both he and kinn are doing porsche a disservice here: he is not the kind of person to transfer his loyalties so easily, and he’s put up with way worse from kinn before. still, i do wish kinn would put a fucking sock in it.

-vegas and porsche actually work pretty well as a battle couple; in fact a few of their moves will be repeated later on in the big kinn/porsche action climax. it’s possible that vegas/porsche’s fight compatibility is meant to make the V/K/P love triangle more believable as a conflict, but in my opinion all it really does is highlight porsche’s O negative personality type. romantically, i’m not remotely sold on these two, and it’s plain that neither is porsche. they sure are pretty, though.

-oh my god, porsche’s smug lil face when kinn shows up to growl vegas away from his man-- porsche is loving the impassioned defense of his honor for the .3 seconds it takes him to realize kinn blames him for almost getting vegased in a bathroom. (great slap btw. apo puts his whole upper body into that slap.)

-i could easily do a deep analysis of the bathroom scene alone, but since it would chiefly boil down to “hot. hot. hot. hot. hot. hot. hot,” i’ll refrain. however, to be just a little upstairs-brain about it, i’ll say: they make nice use of the bathroom set (the counters to drunkenly sprawl across, the narrow claustrophobic shape of the room, the uh... mirror); the blocking is really good & motivated (porsche’s little turn away & curling in on himself stands out-- he’s seizing a tiny fragment of privacy from kinn, but is unwilling to actually leave the room and is in fact inviting kinn to box him in). the scene accomplishes a lot in terms of both character and shipbuilding, and is a welcome confirmation that kinn is not about to absolutely revert now that he’s back under his dad’s thumb. he has come to need porsche, enough to make an absolute ass of himself; and porsche needs kinn enough to forgive him.

Also: hot.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

First off, the way you write Tsumiki is so beautiful and makes so much sense and I would die for her. Also, Tsumiki/Maki is fucking inspired. It fits so perfectly within the story and fleshes out both of their characters and I have so many feelings about it.

What you wrote about the cause of the no-contact fits so well with the Zenin how do you even come up with this!! And it also reframes so many scenes in sea glass gardens (specifically, I went to double check bc I just realized that Tsumiki still refers to Megumi’s dogs by their names and they still reapond to them. I am going to cry Megumi deserved so much better). Nanami is absolutely insane in the best way for demanding half custody like he seems like he’d be willing to throw hands over it regardless of the cost to himself and it’s so perfect with how much he (like Gojo) believes so much in protecting children. I have more words to say but not the brainspace to say them bc it is late at night for me. But! I would die for you and your writing thank you so much for getting into jjk

I’m soo glad that y’all liked Tsumiki/Maki too. The versions of them that live in my head just fit together like puzzle pieces. They were each other’s foil and they understood the other all the more for being what the other had chose not to be. Tsumiki had chosen her sibling and Maki had chosen herself, and both of them know what it means to have those be mutually exclusive.

Also the version of Tsumiki that lived in my head violently hates the Zenin and I could not imagine anything more attractive to Maki. Tsumiki would firebomb their compound without hesitation or regret. Maki wants to kiss her on the mouth.

Tsumiki very purposefully was designated as the character who would keep calling the dogs by their names, because she’s the one who most aggressively tries to insulate Megumi from the effects of the jujutsu world on him.

Tsumiki knew Kuro and Shiro longer than anyone. She remembers when Megumi first summoned his puppies. She knows exactly how much he loves them and she knows exactly how badly he must have been hurt to push him to never call them by their names again. Those dogs mean the world to him, and she knows it.

In her mind, what Megumi lost wasn’t his love for his dogs. If he lost that, she thinks he’d be more willing to call them by their names—names are just easy ways of distinguishing them, after all. They’re already named. He’s only inconveniencing himself by never saying their names aloud.

She thinks Megumi stopped calling them by name as a way of protecting them from the Zenin clan.

He never saw his family again, is the thing, but the Zenin have always existed on their periphery. They know that the Zenin haven’t lost interest in him. Gojo tries to shield them (but mostly Megumi) from as much of the Zenin as possible, but they know that the Zenin have been prodding them for more contact and information on Megumi ever since Gojo cut them off. And they know that the Zenin have a lot of contact with the jujutsu world. They both assumed that, over the years, plenty of people have reported back to the Zenin on Megumi.

They trust Gojo, Nanami, Shoko, and Ijichi to not leak information to the Zenin. No one else.

She’s always suspected that Megumi stopped calling his dogs by their names because he didn’t want it to get back to the Zenin that he loved them like pets still. They’d be safer if the Zenin didn’t realize how much he still loved them. Maybe if he hid it, they’d assume they scared him off, and they wouldn’t hire someone to kill a dog when he’s on a mission or something. And that’s what she’ll never forgive the Zenin for taking from him.

They took away Megumi’s safety in his love. It became something he didn’t feel comfortable showing, ever, because it was something he would be hurt over. They made him hide it. And it kills Tsumiki to see, because her brother loves more fiercely than anyone she’s ever met. He loves in a way that terrifies her, sometimes, because she thinks it will kill him one day, she really does.

He loved those dogs enough to be beat within an inch of his life to keep them safe. He wouldn’t just suddenly start treating them like they’re impersonal weapons. They’re still Kuro and Shiro to him, she knows it. They’re still his puppies. And she doesn’t want the Zenin to get to take that from him.

She doesn’t want Megumi to just… succumb to what the jujutsu world did to him. She doesn’t want him to just take the beating the way he took it for his dogs. And she doesn’t want him to just sacrifice himself for her and call it a day. She wants him to fight for himself and for his right to live on his own terms. And she’s not sure if he’ll do that.

So she’ll fill in the gaps where she can. His dogs’ names are Shiro and Kuro, and they’re her brother’s puppies. They’re her best boys and she’ll treat them like pets all day long if she pleases, because the Zenin had no fucking right to take that from her brother. She’ll spit in Zenin Naobito’s face if she ever gets half a chance.