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thewalrusespublicist · 6 months ago

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"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

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graciegoeskrazy · 1 year ago

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if it’s not with you

matty + teen!daughter!reader

warnings: fluff??? short n sweet!!!

a/n: me? writing something with ZERO ANGST???? IMPOSIBLE. lol anywhooooo. ty anon 4 requesting😌

It seems as if every time your father released an album, he did an interview or something with Zane Lowe. He never told you he was doing this one though. So, when you put on your usual go-to podcast and heard your father’s voice it was a pleasant surprise.

You were sat up in your room starting your homework, while your dad was downstairs. You listened to the whole thing. Although you would never outright admit it to him, you enjoyed his music. But you could never say it out loud for fear of him holding that fact over your head for forever.

“And I saw the adorable photo you posted on Instagram of y/n hanging out in the studio.”

Oh shit, that’s my name.

“Did she have a big part in this album as well? Was she there a lot for recordings and things like that? Or was it like a ‘No. Dad’s working. Get out.’ type of thing.”

You laughed. Matty usually kept his private life to himself, especially when it came to you. Wanting to give you every ounce of normality as possible. So you thought that there was no way he would talk about you…right?

Wrong.

“Oh, I’d say she played a big part in this album, whether she realizes it or not. I mean, I write about…life. Other people’s lives, my lives, and she is a huge part of my life, maybe the biggest.”

You smiled.

“Were there any songs on the record directly about y/n?”

“Oh, there’s always songs about her. ‘All I need to hear’ that one is 100 percent her. I mean, every time I play it or hear it, all I can think about is her. You know? And as for being there in the studio? I mean, she was there a lot because where we recorded most of it is like…our house. She had to be there for that. But I would never be like ‘Get the fuck out’. If my kid wants to learn music or play music, hell, I'm all for it. I’m the last person to stop her.”

“Does she play instruments?”

“Well, Hann gave her her first guitar lesson before she could speak.”

True.

“Same with the others, so. Whether she likes it or not, she’s pretty well versed.”

Also true.

“Eh, it might come in handy one day. And she just turned 16 I heard, correct?”

Matty laughed then sighed. “Yeah, my baby is not a baby. It’s weird.”

…

After finishing your assignment you walked downstairs and found your dad standing hunched over the counter. He was answering an email on his laptop while dinner was cooking in the background. You jumped on his back and hugged him. He grunted and you smiled.

“If I am the inspiration for most if not all of your songs does that mean I can get some of the money you four make?”

He laughed and kissed the side of your head, understanding what you were referring to.

“No, but you get to live in my house rent-free.”

#matty healy #matty healy x reader #x daughter!reader #matty healy x daughter!reader #the 1975 #matty the 1975 #matty x reader

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sergeifyodorov · 1 year ago

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Predicting the Playoffs Results

Right before the playoffs started, I asked many of you to make a bunch of predictions as to the result, and assigned points based on the questions. Here is the final writeup on that, but first, congratulations to the winners:

@jonassiegenthaler with 21 points

@elizaiwillbe with 19 points, 9 correct answers, and 7:12 off from the longest game

@seedlessmuffins with 19 points, 9 correct answers, and 18:54 off from the longest game

More info on how the whole thing went down under the cut:

Here are the individual question results:

Hopefully the way I phrased each question in the chart makes sense. Let’s discuss some interesting trivia from the chart.

After seeing the results of last years’ game, one thing I wanted to do was to make it easier: have more opportunities to gain points, so we would have a wider distribution of results and higher scores. I would say I was fairly successful in the attempt, with the exception of one question, near the end of the quiz. It was phrased “by the end of the playoffs, which goalie will have the best win%? They do not need to have played in the Cup Final.” Adhering to the rules of the question, the correct answer is Joseph Woll, who played 2 games in the first round and won them both. However, no one guessed this; I assume it is not because people are unaware of Joseph Woll, who is widely beloved as A Sweetie, but rather because a large win percentage generally assumes a team that goes far in the playoffs and, well, Woll is a Leaf. I think when writing this question I also had this in mind, probably being distantly aware of the off-chance something like this might occur but not believing it likely enough to include. That being said, while it’s technically the correct answer to the question, it feels wrong, so in future quizzes that question’s going to be changed.

The answer the most people picked correctly was the winner of the CAR-NYI series, which 114 people -- 87% -- picked correctly. The second-most correctly-answered q was the newbie who would make it the furthest, with a clean 100 (76%) picking Vancouver.

I think the most impressive answer was the Conn Smythe pick: 35 people picked McDavid, which is not in and of itself a large percent (only 27%) but has a much larger pool of candidates: the first two above-mentioned questions were multiple choice, with 2 or 3 answers, while people picked 3 out of literally hundreds of possible choices, and still fully a quarter of people managed to choose correctly. Additionally, eight people picked both McDavid as a Conn Smythe candidate and Florida to win the Cup.

Here’s the top ten (well, eleven) Conn Smythe picks. While in theory, there were 393 total votes available (131 responses and each responder was encouraged to pick 3 players) not everyone did -- a few people only put in one name, and one person just wrote in “No idea,” who as far as I’m aware was not eligible as a Conn Smythe candidate.

Quinn Hughes mania really swept the nation. Last year, the most-voted-for Conn Smythe winner was Connor McDavid, who got 43 votes. This year, Quinn Hughes got 52! (Caveat: there were about 25 more voters this year than last year, which means that the proportion is actually pretty similar -- about 40% both years.)

Thank you so much for participating! Hope to see you all again next year.

#woo hoo!#scp 24

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literaturereviewhelp · 2 months ago

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My interest in math is due to my grandpa who used to mingle math puzzles during his story telling sessions. At times, his questions were so simple that they generated spontaneous answers from me without giving any serious thought to it. Later, when he would explain me the real math behind it, I used to get amazed with the findings. Soon I realized that one needs to have his or her math in order if one has to be a successful performer in the life. My Early Interactions with Math In one of the session when I was 13, my grandpa asked me a simple question, “What would you prefer – working for 30 days to get paid 5 million dollars at the end or 1 cent the first day and then doubling the amount each day such as 1, 2, 4, 8, 16…. up to 30 days period”. My obvious answer was 5 million dollars at the end of 30 days. He laughed at me and told me that I need to have some lessons from a Jew (with full regards to Jews of course!). I could not understand how I could go wrong on such a simple query. He made me sit and asked me to do the exercise manually. Though tedious and torturous the calculation was it surprised me when I finished my calculation that revealed me that I would have garnered as much as 536,870,911 cents or $5,368,709. Much more than 5 million dollars and certainly much more rewarding indeed! My succinct reply to him was “But how can one finish such lengthy and time consuming calculations?” He replied “Babe it is easy to calculate and simple if you know the math”. That is how I got attracted to math in early stages. It was later in high school that I came across summation of geometric series given in a mathematical formula in the form of a × (1-r n) / (1-r) that my grandpa introduced me when I was 13. Sum of the series (1, 2, 4, 8, 16…) can be given as (geometric progression with multiple 2) S = 1(1-2 29) / 1-2 = 536,870,911 cents My teacher in Dinwiddie high school was superb so far her grasp in the math was concerned. She introduced me many math concepts such as interest rate, percentage, averaging and many more. She would tell us math is an applied science and more we apply in our daily life, the better it is shaping our life. In my school days, Chocolate bars would usually cost 60 cents each and during festival and week-end retailers offered 30 percent discounts. I was quick enough to calculate my savings in cents as (60 × 30)/100 = 18 cents. That means the effective cost of each Chocó bar would be only (60-18) =42 cents. My limited spending power of $5 on this item per week would buy me nearly (500/42) = 12 Chocó bars and that were good enough for me to last more than a week. One of the most useful concepts in the math is percentage that helps me in my daily purchases. It is a good way of comparison that makes decision easier and quicker. Math in Kitchen When I was 16, I came across Fairy Cake recipe published in one of the reputed magazine. I decided to make the cake myself. The recipe was designed for 15 people and ingredients were 156 gram butter, 156 gram self-raising flour and 156 gram caster sugar, 2.5 tablespoons of milk, and 2.5 large eggs. No standard packing in the above measurements (156 gram packing) is available. Nearest available smaller packing is 100 gram. I decided to use 100 grams packing of sugar, butter, and flour. I needed to adjust milk and eggs in the same ratio. Math helped me there. I calculated milk quantity as (100/156) × 2.5 = 1.60 tablespoons of milk and 1.6 of large eggs. Obviously, my prepared cake was sufficient to serve (100/156) × 15 = 10 people. Math helped me a lot in my experiments of preparing some of the delicious dishes in those days and now. Math in My Profession My flair with math helped me in my nursing career too. Often, I do not have the correct dose on hand as prescribed by the doctor; therefore, I have to calculate the dose that I need to give based on what I have on hand. Read the full article

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uniquesystemskills · 2 years ago

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5 Proven Methods to improve your Python Programming skills

If you have just learned Python, don’t bounce on to get familiar with another new dialect. Learning Python is very basic, improving your Python skills require genuine endeavors. The up-degree in the Python language makes different open doors in jacking the advantages and new job openings. To learn Python programming and to improve the abilities even after you have picked up programming requires appropriate direction. Python unquestionably has what’s to come. Thus, improving your Python skill will penny percent advantage you in improving python developer fresher job openings. Unique System skills are the best python training institutes in which they are providing the best job-oriented python courses in Pune with 100% placement assistance.

What abilities will assist you with upgrading Python programming?

5 Proven Methods to improve your Python Programming skills

Let’s dive in to find how we can improve python programming Skills

Continue Coding consistently

This rehearsing procedure is one slam dunk to work. It works in some random field, given that you practice the correct way. The course of the training chooses your bearing of development. Thus, it is most extreme basic to get legitimate educating from Python establishments in Pune.

Code with Pair Programming

Pair writing computer programs is the place where you and other Python designer collab to chip away at a similar code. Such coordinated efforts are consistently gainful. Notwithstanding, in Python classes in Pune, you will encounter these joint efforts live. You additionally know whom you are teaming up with. With the goal that you are getting an opportunity to pick the combined software engineer of your capable level.

Try not to quit perusing Python books

Numerous incredible Python developers have put away their programming stories in the books. All the bugs that they have experienced and the answers for the equivalent are very valuable. Python books are effectively accessible online for procurement. You will become acquainted with a lot more things about Python that you were unconscious of.

Peruse master’s code

Perusing some extraordinary codes improves your capacity and abilities recorded as hard copy codes. The sources accessible on GitHub are magnificent. You will peruse and examine the genuine code with some reasonable and live preparation. Python training in Pune is simply the most ideal approach to help with a lot of progressing Python codes.

Learn with intelligent devices

There are many cool apparatuses out there that let you know how you are performing and where you are getting along wrong. One such very well the realized stage is Python REPL – the intelligent Python shell. These intuitive devices are valuable and come helpful while programming.

How to upgrade your Python skills with a particular network of Python training institutes in Pune?

Attend Python developers’ meetup in the city or over a zoom call. There is a need of having Bootcamp for each software engineer. Regardless of which Python organization in Pune you are a piece of. You should have a gathering of Python developers where you can meet and examine.

Numerous software engineers are framing bunches on meetups and are meeting on a week-by-week or month-to-month premise. This causes all the individuals to synergize together and share the updates.

Reddit is one of the best stages to fabricate your Python language network. Indeed, even on Reddit, you will know numerous things about Python patterns.

Quora

Any question concerning Python is replied to on the stages like Quora by Python specialists. The Python people group on Quora is phenomenal. There are spaces for Python engineers.

#uniquesystemskills #python #programming #certificationcourse #coding #job #career #enrollnow #erndwane #freshers

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crmvoipsoftwaresolutions · 2 years ago

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Virtual Call Center Software: Must Measure KPIs

Managing a virtual call center is not easy. You need to track and monitor a lot of parameters to ensure it’s running well. If you happen to own or manage a virtual call center, you must know the importance of using the right metrics to not only track agents’ performance or call outcomes but also to ensure customer satisfaction.

Without the right metrics, you would be shooting in the dark. Only the right metrics can tell you if things are working in your call center or not. That is why monitoring the right metrics is extremely important. Metrics enable you to measure so that you can learn and fix. A majority of call center solutions provide reports that showcase all major performance metrics.

5 Metrics to measure the service level of your virtual call center’s performance

In a virtual call center, the virtual call center software will provide the necessary reports. In this setup, you need to monitor and measure your service level and customer satisfaction score to understand how your virtual call center is performing. Here are some crucial metrics to consider:

1. Average Hold Time (AHT)

It refers to the average amount of time agents put their customers on hold. It is calculated by dividing the total amount of time your customers remained on hold by the total number of calls. Usually, the average hold time should not be more than a few seconds. As per a study, three out of every five customers will hang up if an agent keeps them on hold for only one minute. You can monitor your on-hold time to find out gaps in your agents’ knowledge and inefficiencies in your processes. You must keep the on-hold time as low as you can.

2. First Call Resolution rate (FCR)

It refers to the percentage of customer queries, requests, or issues that agents resolve on the very first attempt. It is calculated by dividing the total number of inquiries resolved on the first attempt by the total number of calls handled by agents multiplied by 100. A higher call resolution rate indicates efficient customer service. As per a well-known study, the industry standard for the FCR is about 70 to 75 percent. If the FCR is higher in your virtual call center with the help of your team and the best virtual call center software, you should keep it up. If the FCR is lower than the industry average, then find out what’s wrong and take corrective measures.

3. Average Speed of Answer (ASA)

It refers to the average time an agent takes to answer a call from a customer. It’s calculated by dividing the total wait time for answered calls divided by the total number of answered calls. The international industry standard of ASA is 28 seconds. It’s often cited that eight out of every ten calls are answered within 20 seconds. Longer ASA can result in poor customer experience and satisfaction. If your virtual call center’s ASA is 30 seconds or more then find out the potential problems.

4. Abandon Call Rate (ACR)

It refers to the percentage of incoming calls where a customer terminates the call before speaking to a customer service representative using a virtual call center solution. It’s calculated by dividing the number of abandoned calls by the total number of incoming calls multiplied by 100. It’s used to measure a call center’s efficiency and customer service quality. Even though the average ACR varies from industry to industry, the industry standard is between five and eight percent. While an ACR of up to five percent is acceptable, a rate of above 10 percent is unsatisfactory. If the ACR in your call center is more than 10 percent, then look at the possible problems and try to reduce them as much as you can.

5. Call Completion Rate (CCR)

It refers to the total number of calls answered or completed out of the total number of calls attempted. It’s calculated by dividing the total number of answered calls by the total number of attempted calls multiplied by 100. The higher the CCR the better the customer service and customer satisfaction are. You should target a minimum CCR of 75 percent. If it’s lower than that, find out the reason for such a low CCR.

By using the right metrics, call center managers can get valuable insights into their agents’ performance and how they can improve. Virtual call centers can ensure the metrics are right by using reliable and high-quality software.

Are you interested in using the best virtual call center solution?

AC InfoSoft can provide the best and most reliable virtual cloud-based call center software.

To learn more about it, please visit https://www.acinfosoft.com/ac-virtual-call-center-software/

#Virtual Call Center Software

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thehuboftheories · 2 years ago

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So,

This question has been bugging me since February.

WHAT IS ONE THING THAT MAKES YOU 100% HAPPY (Genuinely)

I have had plenty of deep conversations with myself ( Totally not to a wall) discussing this question, and honestly in the entire time of 4 months, all I have gotten is a bunch of dead ends.

Which begged the question is there honestly something we can be 100% happy about?

Over the course of 2 weeks I randomly went up to 51 people and asked this very question.

The answers as I learnt after a few responses, always had something common or the other, which helped me group them into a bunch of categories as follows:

A) The Happy Fruits

B) The Emo Group

C) The I-have-a-goal

D) Not sure what I can say about them

Now one might wonder, what is the point of this study, so as a result I would like to highlight the two essential objectives of this survey:

1) Before asking people I made a list, of what a person might answer, or what category they might fit into. The estimations were 96.87 percent correct, which honestly couldn't sit right with me.

I have had people coming up to me saying that if I don't talk about my problems, or if I don't I outright tell them there is nothing they can do to help. But is it so hard taking time out of our lives to actually observe people we care about?

If I was able to estimate the likeness of a person to be happy about something, a person I barely knew, so doesn't that say, that somewhere we are going wrong in our relations with people?

2) While it seems like a simple question, for me this question has been a 4 month journey, which leads to a lot of self realisation. It invokes something inside you, that can only ponder, what makes me happy?

I've seen people being rendered speechless by such simple words and some people not even giving it a thought.

Are we truly happy, or do we just want ourselves to be? Are we ever going to be 100% happy?

Think about it, if it helps pen your opinion down in the chat, and we'll have deep realisations together.

#understanding #people #noticing #loved ones #theories #hub of theories

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squishmallow36 · 2 years ago

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It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter one

Summary: It's the Garvar fic! Wdym you want a summary? It's a retelling of the first chapter of kotlc from Garwin's pov. That's--that's pretty much it. We do have them interact which is pretty nice. There will be more loosely connected chapters to come but I don't know how many or how they'll turn out. Word count: 2730

TW: swearing, drug mention, mentions of kidnappings and murder in relation to the Sophie/Fitz interaction

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @remember-me-in-another-time @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death. Also @frogs-and-flowers-and-faeries @camelspit you two seemed interested

On AO3 (only to registered users because y'know, AI) or below the cut

If there’s one thing universally agreed upon by high schoolers, it’s this: field trips are fun. Or at least they should be, in theory.

Instead of being locked in a classroom for eight hours a day, you get to go outside, cause some havoc, you know, the usual.

Your other teachers end up being nice because you cried to them that between all your classes and this field trip, you need an extra week on that paper that you’ve had assigned for three months and you haven’t started and is due tomorrow for a reason.

And, most of the time, as an extra bonus, you learn absolute jack shit.

The only problem arises when the teacher that is taking you on the trip seems to forget that part and forces you to actually pay attention with the threat of a quiz, and knowing him, he’s going to make it absolutely horrendous.

Yes, dinosaurs are badass but having to listen to your teacher read the plaques out loud makes gouging your eyes out seem like a good course of action.

Are we completely sure the teachers here have a 100 percent literacy rate? Garwin wonders, rolling his eyes as Sweeney struggles through another scientific name. I mean, knowing this school system, it would not surprise me.

There’s a couple of nerds taking notes but honestly there’s no chance. If there is a quiz, it’ll be the type of thing that’s “What year, exactly, did the cretaceous era end?” And the multiple choice options will all be around that 66 million years ago mark ingrained in everyone’s soul but you have to remember that science was able to determine the meteor fell on a Thursday and from that you have to extrapolate what the date would have been.

Can a meteor fall on us this today Thursday? That’d be great. No more AP exams.

And yeah, AP classes are supposed to have a curve, but with that little photographic memory of Dophie’s only half paying attention and half listening to MCR so loud it can be heard from three miles away, she’s gonna get a perfect score.

Case in point: Sweeney finally hears Gerard screaming and catches onto the fact that Sophie is completely ignoring his existence, per usual.

“Miss Foster!” He yanks her earbuds out by the cords. “Have you decided that you’re too smart to pay attention to this information?”

Well, she can probably legit get a zero on the final and still carry a 93 in the class. So I’d probably say the answer is yes. I think we all know that little smartass corrects Sweeney on a daily basis.

Between the typos and the shit he gets plain wrong, it was entertaining to see him flounder at the beginning of the year, but at this point she doesn’t seem to grasp the idea that everyone’s given up on the lost cause of a man.

This entire class has all had to suffer through more school than she’s been alive. Other than the dumbass sophomores in the class. But it wouldn’t be surprising to find out they were smoking weed in the back of class for a “science experiment.”

Ah, the things you can get away with in AP Enviro Science and a teacher that doesn’t care. Except about the toddler in his class who listens to music but hey. Maybe he’s insecure because he’s stupid and he has to maintain control over some aspect of his life.

Sophie mumbles something, denying it as she attempts to retract into her shell like a turtle. Unfortunately, humans don’t usually come with a shell, so she isn’t very successful.

“Then perhaps you can explain why you were listening to your iPod instead of following along?” Sweeney dangles the headphones in front of her as she rips out an eyelash.

Now, Garwin may have only gotten a 2 on the AP Psych exam last year because he only paid attention half the time because those daily quizzes were ass, but that doesn’t seem like the healthiest of coping mechanisms.

Sophie simply stares at the ground to pretend like Sweeney isn’t harassing her.

“Since you’ve decided you’re above this lecture, why don’t you give it?” Sweeney asks, gesturing to the definitely-accurate reconstruction of an orange hadrosaur. “Explain to the class how the Lambeosaurus differs from the other dinosaurs we’ve studied.”

You see, one of these was the Pteranodon family’s neighbor on Dinosaur Train. Larry Lambeosaurus was an endless pit that never seemed to fill with food, much like the average teenager. Unlike the average teenager, however, this may have something to do with his diet of tree and its caloric density, or lack thereof.

Instead of listening to Sophie rattle off dinosaur facts learned from a lifetime of being a fucking nerd, Garwin chooses to look at literally anything else for some scrap of entertainment.

Like, for example, the Albertosaurus. And imagining it coming to life and eating everybody à la Jurassic Park. That would be fun.

Sweeney gets increasingly pissed off as she keeps going. He really should’ve learned long ago to not challenge her ‘cause it ain’t gonna go well for him. He mutters something under his breath, and turns to go to the next increasingly stupid dinosaur.

Actually, Garwin takes that back. The dinosaurs themselves aren’t stupid. It’s the whole idea of having to get dragged to a place to forcefully learn about them instead of actually studying for the AP exam in less than two weeks. Not that he actually cares about that though.

“Nice job, superfreak,” he says to Sophie as she stands helplessly in the middle of the walkway. He pushes past her in an effort to appear engaged enough to not get another detention. “Maybe they'll write another article about you. 'Child Prodigy Teaches Class About the Lame-o-saurus.’”

Garwin’s gaze lands on someone reading the newspaper with Sophie’s face plastered across it. Yeah, the guy’s kinda cute with dark hair and teal eyes flicking up at Sophie ever so often…but, like, he’s probably freshman-ish years old and that’s kinda weird in the middle of the school day, not gonna lie.

And he isn’t in this class, that’s for sure. So he’s probably ditching. Kind of a dumb move to ditch and then go to a museum but hey. That’s his life choice and it’s not Garwin’s fault it’s stupid.

Garwin rolls his eyes as he moves into the next room. The desire to cause large amounts of property damage by climbing up the statues is immense, but, alas, one cannot succumb to temptation.

Their resident curvebuster doesn’t follow, and, honestly, that is a choice. Maybe if she gets eaten by a dinosaur or kidnapped with the guy pulling a Ferris Bueller, this class might know peace once again.

A not-small part of him could not give less of a shit if she disappears suddenly, and another not-small part of him can’t help but see the advantages. Maybe then we won’t all fail the class. It’s not like San Diego City College is going to miss her. Chances are, she’ll be the same to her unfortunate classmates there.

As the group shuffles around a reconstruction of a Triceratops, Sweeney begins droning on and on and on and on about the different types of ceratopsians, and it’s a damn fucking shame the one with three horns became famous instead of, like, the Kosmoceratops.

That fucker’s got fifteen horns and it’s common knowledge that an animal’s coolness is exponentially correlated with number of things that it has that can kill you.

In order to quell the rising tide of complete and total apathy, Garwin once again begins the search for something--anything--interesting to occupy his time.

And don’t you know it? There’s a hot guy hiding in a corner trying desperately not to be seen.

Between him and the kid reading the newspaper in the other room, something weird is definitely going down. So the obvious course of action is to walk up to the guy and see what’s up. Maybe even flirt a little. As soon as he can escape from Sweeney’s torture chamber, that is.

In the meantime, Garwin can still stare at him. He has dark hair gelled to perfection and light blue eyes. His eyelashes are visible from this massive distance away, so they must be super long and therefore super hot. Garwin’s fingers ache to trace his sharp square jaw and his skin is a light tan with a dusting of freckles for good measure.

In short, he’s absolutely fucking gorgeous.

He’s way too far to be certain, but he kind of does look like newspaper boy…for reasons that are as of right now indescribable other than sheer vibes.

And he’s wearing a black batman sweatshirt--a foolish decision on a partially sunny day such as today--that hangs in such a way to suggest he’s got some muscles hiding beneath it.

The world would be improved in many ways if that sweatshirt was a little less on.

Then, suddenly, by some miracle, some grace of god, Sweeney lets them explore for themselves. An argument could be made that he realized that no one was paying attention, but the more likely case is that he got tired of teaching and is now allowing them the slightest sliver of freedom to maximize his own laziness.

Garwin floats over to the guy in the corner as nonchalantly as possible as his traitorous heart is doing backflips in his chest. He was tall from a distance, but he’s even taller up close.

“Hey,” he says. Hey? Hey? That’s the most creative thing you could come up with? A cheesy pickup line would be better at this point.

“Hey yourself.” Guy-in-the-corner says with the slightest hint of a smirk. “I’m Alvar, what’s your name?”

Garwin is almost too distracted by Alvar’s thick accent--almost British, but somehow crisper--to remember his own name. “I’m Garwin. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Do you really think they looked like that?” Alvar asks. “The dinosaurs, I mean. It’s a little absurd, isn’t it?”

“Would you rather have the nerd answer or do you want the smartass answer?” Garwin replies.

“Who says I don’t want both?”

“Ah. Well then. The nerd answer is that at least some of them should have feathers. They are the ancestors to birds, after all. The fact that none of them do is a little yikes. And as for my other answer, I’m not a paleontologist, but,” Garwin points to a fossilized sauropod…or at least a skeleton of one that may or may not be real, “that one might be a tad bit skinny.”

Alvar laughs, a glorious sound. His eyes wander away from studying Garwin, focusing out of the room, landing on Sophie fucking Foster.

Ah, yes. First she gets into Yale without even trying and now she’s gained the attention of multiple people which depending on the intentions could be really fucking creepy. She’s literally twelve. This is complete and utter bullshit.

“Is that the kid on the front of the newspaper today?”

“Yeah,” Garwin replies bitterly.

Alvar makes a thoughtful sound and looks back at Garwin, who has begun leaning against the wall. Yes, there’s a plastic fern between them but you do what you can.

“Come on, Fitz. Don’t be a total dumbass,” Alvar whispers as newspaper boy--Fitz--begins to step away from Sophie.

A swarm of kindergarteners barreled into the exhibit, nearly knocking both Sophie and Fitz off their feet. They hold their heads in their hands like their brains are physically getting stabbed and when they make eye contact again, Sophie watches Fitz in fear.

Why that is, Garwin can’t tell, but there’s something in Alvar’s expression that seems like he suspects something, and Garwin would give anything--except a full ride scholarship to Yale--to know what he does.

In the time Garwin spends studying Alvar’s features for clues and getting lost in his eyes, Sophie has magically disappeared. Fitz swears, probably loud enough to be heard all the way at the zoo across the street, as he runs after her.

Alvar rolls his eyes. “Life choices. Do I run after my dumbass of a brother or do I leave him be? Decisions, decisions,” he asks himself.

What the fuck?

Garwin looks back at Alvar to find him already watching him. “Would you like me to go tell Sweeney or just…let her skip class?” And probably get murdered just a little bit.

It takes a good few seconds for him to process this request. “Eh, I’m sure he’ll notice sooner or later.”

Oh my fucking god this guy is fucked up. I don’t like Sophie, but I’d rather she not get kidnapped.

…Is it bad that he's still hot?

“Why the fuck are you two harassing Sophie?” The question comes out more forcefully than Garwin intends, but not enough to walk it back.

“That is one very long story and I don’t think you’d believe half of it. But let’s see--how simplified can I get this?” He pauses, formulating. “We’ve basically got a switched at birth situation going on here except we don’t exactly know who her actual parents are and well that’s a whole thing that I’d rather not get into right now. Also we don’t know if she’s actually the kid we’re looking for. And by we I mean mostly our dad but he isn’t here right now because he figured it would be less creepy for us to stare at children than he would be. And then Fitzy over there doesn’t know I’m here for extensive and even more complicated reasons. And he wasn’t supposed to interact with her. Problems all around.”

Garwin considers this explanation for a moment. On the one hand, it leaves him with more questions than answers, and on the other hand, he doesn’t really care enough to ask for further elaboration.

“Just don’t murder Sophie. I don’t need to see her on the front cover of the newspapers that should already be obsolete two days in a row,” he decides.

Alvar smiles. His teeth are brilliantly white, and it’s ever so slightly crooked in such a perfect way that makes it seem practiced. His cobalt eyes fix Garwin to the spot as they turn toward each other.

“And, um, before I go, I do immensely apologize if I’m reading this wrong, but would you like to go out with me sometime?”

“Why the hell else do you think I wandered over here? Absolutely.”

Instead of giving Garwin his phone number like a normal person by writing it on a sticky note or the back of his hand with a sharpie that doesn’t come off for a week or just directly typing it into their phone, Alvar comes equipped with a stack of business cards.

And honestly, it’s not even that surprising. Like, yes, he’s only known the guy for a grand total of fifteen minutes, but that tracks with what he knows so far…which isn’t much. But it still counts. Bitch.

Garwin smiles. “I’ll call you and set up details when I can look at my calendar and I’m not already busy with club meetings and shit.”

“Sounds good.”

After a short pause, Alvar opens his mouth to say something else, but he’s interrupted by Sweeney’s nasal whining before he gets the chance.

Garwin rolls his eyes. “I guess I should get back to the fucked up reality that is the American school system. See you later.”

“Bye,” Alvar replies, smiling.

Garwin makes his way back to the class reforming around Sweeney like a slime mold, taking his sweet time to not seem too eager to be going back to the hellhole that is occasionally referred to as a school but not dicking around so much he gets left, as making his way back there himself would be mildly inconvenient.

And we can’t have that, now, can we?

Garwin looks back into the corner to sneak one more glance at the indescribably attractive boy who has for some reason asked him out only to find that he’s nowhere to be found.

Was he just a figment of my imagination?

Garwin checks his back pocket, hissing as the sharp edges of a business card leave him with a paper cut.

Guess that solves that mess.

Now if only all the world’s problems could be solved so easily, we’d be onto something.

#kotlc #kotlc fanfic #garvar #garwin chang #kotlc garwin #kotlc alvar #alvar vacker

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thefanbasewhore · 4 years ago

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Oh Baby, Baby

Summary || Reader wants a baby, Bucky thinks becoming the winter soldier destroyed any chance for that.

Warning/content || kinda sad in the beginning but HAPPY ENDING, small Drabble, crying etc. Slight breeding kink?, Suggestive, implied smut

Paring || Bucky Barnes x reader

A small smile twitches at the corners of pink, full lips. Stretching the chin of his cheeks, dimples appear under the fullness of coarse thick hair as he hears slow, sluggish foot steps decend the stairs.

There's already a mug of steaming, hot coffee poured on the opposite side of the counter. He smiles as she enters the kitchen, sweater paws curling around the cup to take a sip. Bucky continues chopping an onion, no doubt for the breakfast he has planned, the smell of bacon filling the kitchen.

"Good morning, doll."

She nears the counter, hip to hip as she lifts from her toes to press a kiss against his cheek. "Good morning Lover."

Placing her coffee back to its original spot, she begins to crack the eggs already set out and ready to go, adding some seasonings and cheese before signing. It catches Buck's attention, raising one eye brow to peer up at her. "Is something wrong honey?"

"I want a baby." The words cause the former soldier to freeze, visibly stiffening as his mouth drops ajar. He's stunned, completely frozen under the mercy of her words as the knife falls from his grasp and the counter.

"W-What?" The words are spread out, unsure as steel blue eyes search for meaning in her own, for the lie or joke, but there isn't one.

"I want a baby, Bucky."

The metal appendage of his pointer finger accompanies whirling and clicking of plates as it presses into the red henley, into the muscular swells of his chest. "With me?"

"Well typically wives do have babies with their husbands." The words silence him again rather quickly and it makes her blood cold. He's still frozen in one spot, the bacon in the pan continues to sizzle as he gulps rather loudly. His uncomfortable stance, sad eyes say it all. "You don't want to have a baby with me Bucky?"

"I'm a former assassin, was brain washed for 80 years, not to mention I'm 106 years old. Why would I?"

The words sting, a little harsher then intended but she gets it, bites her bottom lip and refuses to meet his gaze.

Bucky notices the change in body cues, shoulders dropping, lip quivering despite how hard she tries to hold it in. "Honey, I'm sorry, I didnt mean to -."

"No, no, it's fine." She denies as she turns towards the bedroom and dismisses Bucky's touches and words. "I understand, I'm going to go take a shower."

Despite the thick cloud of smoke from hot water and the high pressure through the facet, Bucky sighs hearing the still audible sobs, thanks to super hearing.

***

She doesn't expect him to be sitting on the bed as the thick, hot clouds follow behind her so she chooses to ignore him, walk past without a word. It was still too fresh, she didn't want to talk about it, ruin the chances of Bucky being happy.

This is what he wanted, to be retired, just the two of them on a 100 acre farm, no Hydra, no superhero stuff and of course now coming up on their one year anniversary of being married.

"Why are you ignoring me?" She curls her towel closer as his arms reach out to clasp around her wrists, pulling her between his legs, pressing his weight back into the bed. "Don't be like this."

"I'm not being anyway, just forget about it, I don't want to talk about it." She answers with a huff, despite her words shifts the weight of her hip into his lap. Fingers play with the short brunette's hair, curling the hair at the nape of his neck, trying to calm his pounding heart.

"well I do." He answers, "you're upset."

"Forget about it, Bucky." She presses a sad kiss against his jaw, "It doesn't matter."

"I didn't mean to say it like I did." Bucky explains, lips finding hers with soft pressed apologies, pressing their foreheads together. "It came out wrong, was just caught off guard, sweetheart. The last thing I wanted was to make you cry. I just never thought about it. In the 40's yes, I wanted that but now... I'm just starting to find myself."

"I know, I don't want you to feel bad about it. I understand Buck." Smaller, gentle fingers cup his face, slipping under his jaw until steel blue eyes meet her own. "I shouldn't have even said anything, it's not fair to you. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Stop that." He mumbles against her temple and nuzzles the tip of his nose into her hair, pressing a small kiss there. "It's not unfair, it's normal. I can't blame you for wanting to be normal. I'm anything but, I just don't understand why."

"Why what?"

"Why you would want someone like me. Trust me around our baby, I'm a brainwashed, one hundred year old man."

"Was." She corrected, "was a brainwashed, one hundred year old man, it's been years Buck. It didn't work when Zemo tried or anyone else."

Bucky pauses, eyes fluttering as if he's thinking, guilty eyes not meeting her own. He's filled to the brim with it, it's fiery and pumping throughout his body, warming to the core. She should have these things, a normal husband, not one that wakes up from nightmares every night. He should have been able to drop to his knees and taken her right on the kitchen floor the moment she asked for a baby but he's filled with hear. Absolutely guilt-smashed, tipsy with blurring vision as small tears burn his waterline.

"What if someone comes for me? Hurts it? Or even worse one day he comes back." The emphasis on he makes is heart breaking . The winter soldier still lurking deep inside of him, he can never be one hundred percent cured. The dark memories and nightmares make sure.

"Don't cry Buck, please don't cry. It's okay, it's okay, we don't need to have a baby." Hands cup his cheeks so delicately, like he's a porcelain doll, one of her favorite judging by how her eyes shine. Pressing soft kisses of reinsurance against his jugular, forehead and corners of his lips. "All I need is you."

"You should have normal things. I'm your husband, I should be able to give you this if anything." He argues, sliding her hips closer for she straddles his thighs. Big, strong arms wrap around her body, rest on the posterior surface of her hips. "I want you to have everything. You should have everything, you're so good to me."

"Hey, it's okay. I have you." The tip of his nose leaves a burning trail across the skin of her collarbone and up until he can lay a kiss behind her ear.

"But you got me thinking now...Imagining coming home with you all big bellied, filled with my baby." A gasp falling from her lips as he pushes his hips up into her, the thick line of his erection heavy against her inner thigh. "And I agree, this farm is way too big for the two of us."

"Don't do this just because -."

He silences her with a deep, meaningful kiss, whispering against her lips. "I need to stop letting my old life hold me back. I've always wanted kids, I've always wanted a family." He pauses with another deep press of his lips. "I can't let my fear hold me back. There's nothing I want more then to have a baby with you."

A loud squeal fills the room as Bucky stands up, making sure her arms and legs are wrapped securely around his neck and waist. He nibbles at her skin and ear with a playful laugh, hands falling to cup the round swells of her ass. Her back hits the bed with a 'ooof' and Bucky is pulling the towel away with one swift movement. "Cmere, time to work on making you a mommy."

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #bucky barnes #bucky x you #tony x bucky #bucky imagine #steve x bucky #bucky x reader

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leiawritesstories · 4 years ago

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Improbability

Rowaelin Month, Day 26: You’re seeing my roommate and accidentally walked into my shower. Featuring Sam and Rowan as roommates. :)))

Word count: 1542

Warnings: language, little bit of math gobbledygook that I stole from my stats class.

Enjoy!

~~~~

“Mate, you alright with my girlfriend coming over today?” Sam called out to his roommate. “We’re probably going out, but I asked her over here first.”

Rowan pulled out one of his earbuds and stuck his head out his bedroom door. “Yeah, that’s totally fine, just for God’s sake warn me if you’re going to do the dirty on our couch, bud.”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME!” Sam yelled, “and I was 100 percent sure you had football!”

“It’s called soccer, Cortland!” Rowan laughed, never missing the chance to poke at his British roommate.

“Whatever, mate. You’re good with Ae hanging out here for a bit, yeah?”

“Sure am. She’s a fun person.” Rowan put his earbud back in and returned to doing his homework, or rather, swearing at his statistics textbook. Some fifteen minutes later, he heard the door of his and Sam’s dorm open.

“Anybody home?” enquired a throaty female voice. “Someone told me he was at home, but obviously he’s too busy to go out today. Guess I’ll just go drink with the girls, then.”

“And leave me lonely?” Sam asked.

Aelin Galathynius, who’d been dating Sam for almost two years now, smiled. “Never.”

He returned the grin and pulled her into the living room, where their conversation faded into a blur of noise too dim for Rowan to interpret. Not that he minded…much. Aelin was hilarious, though, and he loved hearing her make cracks at Sam’s British habits, her friends, her day, and pretty much anything else she thought deserved a snarky comment.

Slamming his stats book closed, Rowan huffed a sigh and decided that he could use a quick shower to relax a little before heading out to training. He grabbed his towel and a bar of soap and went into the tiny dorm shower, which was low enough that he, at 6’3,” had to crouch to fit under the shower head. Grumbling to himself about the stupidity of whatever idiot architect designed dormitory showers, he stood under the stream of hot water and tried to make sense of all he still had to do. Which was too much. After somewhere around five minutes, he stuck his head out of the shower, realizing the dorm had gone awfully quiet.

Maybe Sam and Aelin were out, then, he thought.

Rowan turned off the shower and reached for his towel, giving himself a quick dry-off before stepping out. He was just wrapping the towel around his waist when the door swept open.

“Oh, shit, sorry, I didn’t realize you were in here!” gasped Aelin.

Rowan gaped at her, forgetting that the only thing between her and a prime view of what he may or may not have been doing in the shower was a dark green bath towel.

A too-thin green bath towel.

Aelin’s turquoise eyes traveled down his frame, decidedly not missing a single detail. A pink flush spread over her cheekbones, and she hastily backed out of the bathroom and shut the door with a firm click.

Rowan swallowed whatever he’d thought he might have said and told his raging male hormones to calm the hell down. Quickly, before anyone else could walk in on him, he pulled on his practice jersey and sweats and went back to his room, where he grabbed his soccer bag and hauled ass for the gym.

He spent the entire 90-minute workout trying and miserably failing to get the image of Aelin Galathynius in her unfairly attractive blouse and miniskirt blushing at his nearly-nude self out of his mind. When he got back to his dorm, having showered in the locker room, this time without anyone interrupting, Sam and Aelin were gone. Sam had left a note on his bedroom door, stating that he’d probably be back around three. Checking his watch, Rowan groaned. It was almost two, and he’d broken down and signed up for stats tutoring at four.

He just hoped that whoever the tutor was, they’d be able to help him get his mathematical shit together and pass the course.

Two hours later, Rowan walked into the library and took a seat in the study room marked with a sign that read “STATS 320 TUTORING 4 PM.” Nobody else was there, but to be fair, he was a little early. He plopped his textbook, notebook, and calculator onto the table and waited.

And nearly fell off his chair when Aelin Galathynius walked into the room.

“What the hell?”

“What the hell, what?” she asked, obviously amused at his reaction.

“I--I didn’t expect to see you here, that’s what the hell. You here for tutoring too?”

“Yes and no.” Rowan blinked in confusion. Aelin’s little smirk grew bigger. “I am the tutor, Rowan. You’re here for my assistance…and expertise.” She winked.

He felt himself flush at the image that conjured. “Yeah, expertise, in stats, right?” He knew full well he was stammering like a fourteen-year-old on his first date, but that about summed up how his roommate’s girlfriend made him feel right now.

“Correct.” Just like that, Aelin was all business. She set her backpack down, closed the door, and sat across from Rowan. “So. How can I help?”

He sighed. “I’m stuck. I need this class, it’s the last math I have to take for my major, I’m usually decent at math, and I’m fucking stuck on a concept my professor said was fucking simple.”

Aelin listened to his mini rant without comment. She pulled out her own stats notebook and calculator from her backpack and slipped on a pair of glasses. Rowan cocked his head.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“Reading glasses, Whitethorn. I’m supposed to wear them whenever I’m reading, on my laptop, or studying, but do I? Hell no.” She grinned. “Don’t tell my optometrist.”

“Given that I don’t know them, no problem.” He returned her grin.

She flexed her fingers and turned her attention to Rowan’s math. “Right, big bad soccer boy. Where are you stuck?”

He flipped his book to the section on conditional probability distributions. “Here. I took notes, and it seemed logical enough, but I completely tanked the quiz we just had, and I don’t know where I went wrong.”

Aelin scanned the quiz. “You’re reading the graphs wrong.”

“What?”

“Conditional probability is the probability of an event occurring given that a certain condition is satisfied.” She opened her notebook to a blank page and drew a horizontal line. “Any time you see a condition, that condition goes in the denominator.” She pointed to one of the problems he’d answered wrong on the quiz. “What’s this question asking you to determine?”

“Probability that a student chosen at random is an engineer given that the selected student is female.”

“Right. So, you take the condition, the ‘given,’ and put that number in the denominator. Remember you’re only looking at the row labeled ‘female,’ because that’s the condition. Once the condition’s written in, you find the other part of the question, in this case the number of female engineers. Put that number in the numerator, divide by the denominator, and there you have the probability. Does that make sense?”

“Condition in the denominator…” Rowan mumbled, writing it in his notes. He looked up at Aelin and smacked his hand flat on the table. “Aelin, I’m a fucking idiot. I spent so much time trying to look at the totals that I didn’t remember to keep the condition, I--goddammit, I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Rowan, lots of people struggle with conditional probability at first.”

“I’ll bet you didn’t.”

“Oh, I did. A lot.”

“Really? But you just explained this shit to me better than my professor.”

“I…I happen to like stats. Might be part of my major description, but I just find working with the numbers extremely satisfying.”

“What’s your major?” he asked, intrigued.

“Don’t judge me.”

“Nope. Promise.”

“I’m in finance.”

His eyebrows shot up. “I’m impressed.”

She blushed. “Thanks. It’s a lot of stats and spreadsheets and yelling at each other about the stock market, but I really love it.”

“You’re making me look bad; I’m just your standard pre-PT student athlete”

“Standard pre-PT student athlete,” she mocked, “don’t sell yourself short, Whitethorn. Pre-PT is nothing shabby.”

“Yeah, but not remembering a stupidly easy math concept sure as hell is.”

She snickered. “Fair enough. Is there anything else I can help you with, or is that all for this session?”

He flipped through his notes. “That’s all I had for today, but I’ll probably be back at some point whining about another tricky concept.”

Aelin grinned, closing her notebook. “Wait until you get into chi-squared models. I’ll be here then, waiting for all the stats students to come crying to me while I plug seventeen equations into my spreadsheet and hope it actually calculates the quarterly interest this time.”

Rowan shook his head. “You lost me at ‘chi-squared,’ Aelin.”

“Oh, trust me, it’s fun.”

“As much fun as you and Sam have?”

Her voice dropped to a sultry purr. “Your couch would know.”

Before he could sputter out a response, she’d shouldered her backpack and was walking out the door. Rowan watched Aelin Galathynius leave, wondering how fast he could make up an excuse to talk to his roommate’s brilliant girlfriend again.

#my writing #rowaelin month #day 26 #college au

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merrybrides · 2 years ago

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How Many People Should I Invite to My Wedding?

When it comes to wedding planning, there are certain tasks that are just more fun than others. Cake tasting? Fun. Choosing a gorgeous venue? So much fun. But figuring out how many people to invite? This can be a struggle. Whether your natural instinct is to invite everyone you’ve ever met, to make it an intimate event, or just something in between, it’s definitely not an easy task. Often, parents and in-laws will have opinions, too, which can complicate the process.

To help you figure out what your final guest count should be, we break down a few things to think about when it comes to creating your list.

Things to Consider

If you need help figuring out where to even begin, consider the following factors when deciding on a number.

Think About Your Budget

The golden rule when it comes to weddings? The more people you invite, the more it will cost you. A sliding scale exists based on the guest count for food, beverage, rentals, linens, flowers, stationery, and transportation, just to name a few. It’s just an extra 20 people, right? Wrong. The trickle effect is real, and it is something to consider when you’re down to those last few people you’re on the fence about!

Consider the Overall Vibe

Think about the various weddings you’ve been to in the past. When there are weddings with over 300 people, doesn’t the vibe feel different from a 50-person wedding? If lots of dreamy details or personal touches are what you love most about weddings, then perhaps scaling the guest count back to accommodate being able to do more would be worth it for the big day.

Don't Assume People Will—or Won't—Attend

Throughout your planning process, you’ve probably heard someone say, “Oh I know they won’t come, so just invite them to be polite.” This kind of attitude can get you into trouble. Especially in the post-pandemic era. Guests are more excited than ever to celebrate love and happiness. If you invite them, they will come…so do not rely on the typical 75 to 80 percent return on RSVP rules, as they may not apply.

The Process

Chances are, you’ve probably never invited this many people to a party before. Here's where to start.

Determine Your Budget

Yes, we already touched on this, but it really is one of the most critical components in figuring out what size your guest list should be. I encourage you to have an honest conversation with the key players about their budget. Establishing your overall budget range will help you determine the price per head you're projecting.

Make Your List

All great writers are told to write first, edit later. Take this same approach when making your guest list. Write down everyone you’d like to be present on your wedding day. It might feel very middle school-esque, but it’s an important step. If there are some people you’re on the fence about while making your list, put them in a separate column. You can decide later in your editing phase if you really want them there or not. When you look at the numbers, it can help make prioritizing easier. For instance, if you know that your projected cost per head is $100, you might reconsider inviting someone who is an acquaintance to save a little money.

Think About Your Venue

No matter where you’re getting married, chances are your venue has a capacity limit. In rare cases when they don’t (like you’re getting hitched on private property), then you have a little more wiggle room. Another capacity factor could be if there is lodging on-property that cannot accommodate your entire group as you had hoped. This could be directly relative to adjusting your list to fit in the box of your dream venue.

Who Gets the Final Say?

This is a tough one. Unfortunately, there’s no correct answer. As far as wedding etiquette goes, if a family member is contributing financially to the wedding in some way, they’re entitled to an opinion. However, if they’re only contributing to a portion of the wedding (like the catering or your attire), then their jurisdiction for decision-making falls in line with those specific elements. But that’s easier said than done right? I do believe being collaborative amongst families, hosts, and between partners is the best way. While the decision of the hosts is very important, I also feel the couple’s vision of their big day should be reflected with equal weight.

At the end of the day, everyone is going to have their opinion (about pretty much everything), but it’s you and your partner who are going to think back and care about who was and wasn’t there. So when the guest list going gets tough, think about who matters most to you and go with your gut.

#wedding guest list #wedding budget #wedding guests #wedding size #wedding planning

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hobiscloset · 4 years ago

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@punkrockbrokemy--heart submitted a request for us to roast these looks. Thanks for the visually induced trauma bestie! Guest-starring the amazing @textsfrombangtan (marked as L)

E - Let's go from left to right on the top picture. A - it's just all so bad! im having a mild breakdown about this whole picture

Jimin E - so you know theater kids? A - Yeah, you and me E - Hey! but it's true. this is theater kid but in the early 80s late 70s. paint-splattered jeans and a flannel layered A - oh you are correct. it's not tech week though E - yeah this is during set building

Jhope N - Jorts is just going to a highlighter party A - he's a village people stan. before the word stan existed. so a village people groupie L - i'm not entirely convinced he isn't a village person A - its not a coherent enough theme to be a village person in this fit L - fair enough. this man has never seen a coherent theme in his life E - some kind of like burning man neon party

Jin N - my dad in Paris in the 70s A - I was gonna say the flashback dads in mama mia. so like same dif E - he's just one of the guys in Mama Mia 2 A - Bill E - you are absolutely correct and should say it L - strong agree. bill because he's definitely thinking "why did it have to be me" throughout L - i feel like he got off the lightest here but it might just be me looking at that damn face N - No he definitely made out the best E - i feel like overall they always take the least risks on Jin. like idk what it is but 8/10 times im like "eh" to his clothes A - they're like 'people just want to look at his face, put him in a button up and be done with it' N - Because if they go too hard with it he will wear it to music bank again L - this or jin just goes "no." and there's absolutely nothing they can do about it. jinhitent Jungkook A - baby is a 17 year old who decided yesterday that he was now into black smithing L - baby again with the butt flap this time in the most unfortunate colour A - look at my cool leather apron its so authentic N - Baby is my brother in high school before he asked me how colors work A - he doesnt care about colours he just wants to make knives. ive known this exact child. four of them actually E - yeah i was gonna say like kid with odd hobbies and no anxiety. his goal is to get on Forged in Fire and make a knife in 2 hours that gets thrown at a wall A - Precisely

RM A - Quite literally one of the bullies from the power rangers E - i know the exact guy L - ash ketchum on steroids E - ash ketchum if pokemon had been made live action when they did that horrible dragon ball z movie. like he's got a punk/grunge phase L - precisely and the jeans... they're so long N - A toddler allowed to choose all his own clothes

Suga E - he just looks like every bisexual i know after going to the thrift store like "youll never guess what i found", pulls out yet another bowling shirt A - its true but hey! L - this is a wham! fit. like club tropicana vibes. beach club promoter but the club is dogshit and he knows it N - Mamoru from the original sailor moon anime (pause while E looked it up)

E - oh god you are absolutely right ! A - A VERY SOLID CALL L - aksjdbsbajzjs accuracy 100 N - I know my sailor moon bad fashion

V L - *sharp inhale * A - I get Napolean dynamite character vibes in the most (derogatory) way N - An art student who is very aware how pretentious everyone around him is and put on the worst outfit he could find to see how people would twist themselves up trying to call it Art E - oh i love that. troll art student. also whose fucking face is that and why am i convinced its like a serial killer? L - the face on his shirt is the face i made when i saw this A - have you ever seen a three year old that insists they dress themselves without any help E - i want my ballet tights and my fire fighter uniform and my dinosaur top A - its just 100 percent this Final Thoughts N - The argument could be made that all of them are toddlers who insisted on dressing themselves E - all together its very much like, kindergarten class vibes L - idk it just feels like they hit the random sim generator seven times and they got all the worst traits E -you know that computer program Cher has in Clueless? with all her clothes. this is what happens when you press random and shuffle at the same time L - yes and they only allow the fit when a big fat X comes up on the screen and cher goes "ugh as if" E - cher's outfit software, wrong answers only L - i think this whole thing can be distilled down to "wrong answers only"

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jamiethetrans · 4 years ago

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The Defense - Ch 2

The One Where It Almost Happened.

Rita Calhoun x Fem!Reader

Warnings: huge age difference. Talk about physical abuse. Detailed descriptions of different kinds of toture.

AN: Hey everyone! Another one is up! And a long one! I Don’t know how long it is, but it sure is a lot! Though I’m not sure you’ll complain. I noticed I reached the 300 followers and I want to thank each and every one of you! Starting posting stories on tumblr was something I held back for a while, not sure how people would take it, but turns out I was nervous over nothing! Thank you so much for your support! Means the world to me!

- Jamie

•

“Goddammit”, Rita hissed as she hung up the phone and you turned to her in the car, looking at her distressed face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Special Victims just arrested mr. Carter. We need to go down there”, she said and turned to the driver. “Turn around Harry. 16th precinct, Manhattan”

The driver, Harry, turned the car the moment he could and drove towards the precinct.

“What the hell?”, Rita whispered and you were surprised you heard it over the screaming and shouting you were met with as you entered the squad room.

“You’re the reason my daughter’s dead!”, a man yelled, being held back by two officers, Amanda standing next to him.

“I never touched her!”, another man, mr. Carter yelled and both you and Rita noticed the blood running down from his nose. You didn’t know who the other man was and what had happened, but you had a pretty good guess.

“Shut up and take him away”, a man with a beard said and you watched as they took mr. Carter into interrogation.

“Okay why don’t you go and sit in here mr. Blevins”, Liv said and led the other man to a room next to her office.

“Come on”, Rita said and you felt a soft hand in your hip, letting you relax immediately. But just as quickly as it came, it was gone and Rita walked towards the interrogation where mr. Carter sat and you followed her silently.

“You mind telling me why my client is smothered in blood sergeant?”, Rita asked the moment she walked inside, the bearded man standing by the wall.

“Jennifer’s father found out about her suicide and came here and gave the guy a few punches”, he said with a smile on his face and mr. Carter eyed him angrily.

“Please, don’t feel so sad about it”, he joked. Rita rolled her eyes at him and turned to the sergeant. Without a word, the man left and closed the door behind him. You took a deep breath and looked at Rita who sat down in the chair on the other side of the table.

It took a few hours, but in the end, Carter decided to take the deal, statutory rape. Four years, and a $10.000 fine but it was far less than he could’ve had with the murder charge.

You admitted it was not what you had expected when you decided to pursue your career in law. You had imagined taking in buglers and grand theft, maybe some homicide, but sexual abuse and child molestation had never been on your list.

When Sonny had told you about his new job at Special Victims back in the day when he was still a detective, you’ll admit you were intrigued and a little impressed, but that was because he was fighting the bad guys.

You were fighting the good guys and you felt so disgusted with yourself. This was definitely not how you had imagined your time in New York, and definitely not already on your first day.

You stood in the hallway, waiting for Rita to finish up the paperwork and you looked at the photos hanging on the wall. Former captains and sergeants from way back in the days. You noticed one in particular.

Sergeant Mike Dodds 1978-2016

You remembered back to when Sonny told you about what happened to the guy. A DB call that got out of hand.

“You alright?”

You almost jumped on the spot, completely forgotten where you were. You turned and met Sonny’s eyes, his brows furrowed in worry.

“Yeah I’m just… God I couldn’t imagine losing a kid like that”

Sonny could see the tear fall down your cheek and walked closer to you, bringing his arm around your body. “Ya need to go home?”

You immediately shook your head, removing the tear with your hand and looked down at all the files you held for Rita. “I can’t. I need to stay and help Rita”

Sonny nodded and watched you dry your eyes just in time to hear the heels walking closer. “De Luca, you ready?”, Rita asked and you nodded giving her a tight smile. Sonny eyed you for a moment, making sure you would be fine before turning to the defense attorney.

“Yeah miss Calhoun”

“Good. Let’s go to my office. We have a few things to discuss”

You nodded and turned to Sonny who leaned in and kissed your forehead. It reminded you of the days where you would visit him with your mom. “See ya Sunday”

You let out a small chuckle and hugged him tight. “See you Sunday”

Sonny smiled and watched as you took the elevator with Rita. Rita noticed your interaction and once the doors closed, she took the opportunity to let her curiosity get the best of her.

“You’re quite familiar with mr. Carisi”, she said and you turned to her, not expecting the remark.

“What?”

“You and mr. Carisi. You’re pretty close”, she said again.

“Oh. Yeah, he’s my brother”

That was not what Rita had expected. You did not look alike at all, the age difference was significant and you certainly didn’t sound like him either.

“Yeah. I get that face a lot”, you said noticing how surprised she was. “Same mom, different dads”

“I see your mother has a weakness for Italian men”, she commented and you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling.

“Yeah… yeah I guess she does”

The rest of the way to her office was silent and you somehow found yourself enjoying the silence with her. Most people you met had this awkward silence aroma around them and you cringed every time you had to be alone with them, but with Rita it was different.

She made everything so comfortable and calm. It had been a long time since you met someone who had that aroma, and it was nice for a change.

Once in the office, Rita around her desk, instantly looking down in the files you had placed on the desk. “Alright, first case over. You’ve done good. You obviously know what you’re doing and talking about. And somehow despite all of the things we’ve seen, you seem to enjoy it. I’m impressed”

“Thank you. I do enjoy it yeah”, you said softly and she smiled at you.

“I’m glad to hear that. Not every person would”

“Yeah, I guess I’m just different”, you said and Rita nodded.

“You definitely are”

You gave her a smile and she sat down in her seat, motioning for you to do the same in the chair in front of the desk, which you immediately did.

“If you want to continue being my assistant, I need to make sure you’re capable of actually following rules”

You frowned at her for a moment, not sure if she was joking or not. “I will not se slouching, laughing in inappropriate situations, your clothing must be nicely dressed at all times you’re with me, skirt or pants, your choice”

You listened carefully to all of her rules, and hell there were many. “If you can’t remember them all, it’s in the contract”

You nodded and Rita looked at you. You felt your heart pound. “Now that, that is over, tell me about yourself”, she said leaning back in the chair.

“Well I was born in Boston, lived and grew up alone with my ma”

“You didn’t live with mr. Carisi?”

“God no. Sonny was nineteen when I was born. He had already moved out by the time my ma found out she was pregnant with me”, you explained and Rita nodded taking the information in.

“And your interest in law, when did that start?”

“When I was in 6th grade. Sonny told me about the day he started at the precinct as a detective. He was so proud”, you said remembering how amazed you were by his description of the job.

“6th grade? When did he start?”

“2014 if I remember correctly”, you said and Rita frowned.

“You’ve must’ve skipped a few classes then, if I’m not mistaken”, she said pulling out a file from her drawer and you instantly recognized it as your file.

“I did yeah. I basically skipped entire middle school, starting in high school right after elementary”

Rita raised her eyebrows in surprise and you smiled in pride. “Really? I could imagine the high school students when they saw a 13 year old starting”

“12 actually”, you corrected her softly and she chuckled.

“Wow you are one of a kind aren’t you?”

“I don’t know, I guess so”

Rita smirked and looked down at your file once again. You sat in silence for a few minutes, her reading your file like it was her favorite book and you could swore you saw her smile.

“A GPA scale of 4.0 with 99 percent. That’s impressive”, she commented. You gave a tight smile and a nod and Rita noticed how your attitude immediately changed. “You’re not satisfied?”

“I’m satisfied, I just…”, you didn’t know how to explain it without sounding like a spoiled brat.

“It’s okay darling, tell me”

Something in her voice made you feel you could tell her anything and everything and not a single sound of judgement would come your way.

“I wanted to beat the highest GPA Harvard had ever had. But I only got 99. Someone got 100 and they wouldn’t give me a name”

You heard a small chuckle and looked up meeting Rita’s eyes. Without a word she reached in the drawer before standing from her seat. You frowned at her movement and watched as she walked around the desk and leaned against it right in front of you.

She gave you the file and you hesitantly opened it. Once it was fully open, you looked down and read Rita’s name on the top. You read further down and suddenly a gasp escaped your lips, looking up at her.

“You?”

Rita gave a nod with a smirk forming on her face and you smiled looking back down in the file. It was nothing but A+ after A+ all the way down the paper, in every subject.

“This is impressive”, you whispered and she chuckled sitting down in the other chair next to you.

“What subject didn’t you get A+?”

You froze, not sure if you wanted to answer that and Rita noticed. “If you don’t want to answer, you don’t–“

“Economics. Hated it with all my gut”, you said. Rita actually laughed at that and that strange pounding of your heart began again, making you realize what was happening.

You were falling for her.

•

As soon as you opened the door to your apartment, you heard footsteps running towards you and a smile crossed your face.

“Hi Gio”, you whispered and greeted him with a hug. The dog licked your face, but sensed your sadness and cuddled up against you.

“You’re home late”, a voice said and you looked up and met Sonny’s eyes. You sighed and stood from the floor, immediately bringing your arms around him in a tight hug and the man felt himself worry. “Everything alright?”

You nodded but didn’t say anything and despite still feeling the worry, he nodded and let it be for now. “I made ya some dinner, it’s in the fridge”, he said pulling back and you gave him a soft smile with a nod.

“Thanks D”

Sonny was about to say something else when his phone rang. He picked it up and you already knew who it was. It was quickly over and he turned to you as soon as he hung up. “I gotta go. Are you okay? You need anything?”

You shook your head and hugged him one last time. “It’s fine. Go”

He nodded and kissed your forehead before leaving the apartment. You let out deep sigh and went to the couch, sitting down. Gio immediately got on top on you and you chuckled softly, stroking his hair.

“Is it nice boy, hhmm?”

He let out a small bark and you chuckled. That certainly would not change anytime soon. Your mind wandered back to the last two days and you groaned as you kept coming back to Rita.

God why was it so difficult?! She was just a woman. Nothing else. Why were your heart pounding every time she smiled, laughed or even just spoke? Why did you blush every time she looked at you?

You groaned out in frustration and Gio noticed it immediately making you chuckle. “I’m fine boy. Don’t worry”

He nudged his head closer to your chin and you smiled, kissing his head.

•

The rest of the week went by fast, rapist after rapist coming into Rita’s office and asking her to represent them. Some of them were actually decent human beings, just being misunderstood, but most of them were generally just a disgusting pig.

Rita hadn’t exactly gone any less gorgeous and that frustrated you. Immensely. She was your boss! You couldn’t go around and have a crush on your boss. It’s just not how things work.

Nothing good came out of it. Especially with your age as well. Sure you may be mature for your age but she might not see that. All she probably sees is an 18 year old girl who skipped middle school.

Wednesday was a quick day, a man walking in with an accusation of raping his own wife. Rita had told you how many wives accused their husbands of raping them, when they threaten to leave them and wouldn’t leave a penny to survive.

This man was one of this victims and it was quickly discovered by the end of the day. That night you and Rita sat in the offices, a cup of coffee in each your hand.

She told you about her time at Harvard, how she had taken the boys and the parties. It was then she revealed she played on both sides which had made you blush furiously.

“What? Weren’t expecting that answer?”, she had asked with a smug on her face and she had touched your arm lightly, caressing it. Whether it was intentional or not, you did not know.

And when you had told, you were only into girls, you could have sworn you saw her pupils dilate.

Thursday, you needed to find a way to save a man on death penalty. He had captured and held women prisoners for more than three decades, raping and torturing them.

“This is the most disgusting thing ever”, you had said and Rita couldn’t help but agree. Normally you weren’t soft for those kind of things, taking it all like a champ.

But when the videos of the torture of the women were discovered and given to both the prosecution and defense, it was then you broke.

Rita had given you the task of looking the videos over and see if you could find anything useful. The first couple of videos were of him torturing the woman with plastic bags over their head, strangling them over and over again.

One of them he raped one of the women while she was screaming and shouting at him to stop, him slapping her so hard she passed out. The video never showed her waking up again.

But the hardest one was a woman sitting in a bathtub, several electric wires going from massive energy boxes and around her body and in the tub. The woman was sitting in the tub, screaming and shouting in pain as the wires shocked her over and over again.

The screams were the most terrifying thing you’ve ever heard. Rita had stopped you the moment she watched you cry in front of the computer screen.

“Y/n” She shut down the computer and sat down next to you, immediately pulling you into a hug, holding you tight. You may be mature for your age and braver than most, but you were still 18.

“It’s okay darling. It’s okay”

You cried harder into her shoulder, letting her hold you. It had taken you good ten minutes to calm down and once you were relaxed, you fell asleep against her, feeling save in her arms.

That night Rita gave you dinner and drove you home. Making sure twice that you were okay before leaving you alone.

You didn’t sleep that night, the screams filling your mind.

You were absolutely drained when Friday rolled in and you were going out with your friends to a bar. It had been weeks since you last drank, and you couldn’t need it more. Not since the videos yesterday.

“Who’s got you smiling like that?”, Rita asked as you sat in her office going over some paper work for the upcoming trial. She noticed you had pulled out your phone as it vibrated. She was glad to see you smile again after yesterday’s horror and she found herself liking the smile.

“Oh it’s my best friend, Jasmin. We’re going to a friend, who’s having a party”, you explained and Rita smiled.

“Well be careful out there. Wouldn’t want to lose my best assistant before her first week is over”

You chuckled and shook your head. “Don’t worry, I will”

Truth be told, you were very excited to get out of the world of law and drink your ass off. Though you knew you weren’t old enough to drink, you still did it anyway.

“How are you feeling? After yesterday?”, Rita suddenly asked, placing her hand on top of yours on the desk and you sighed looking down.

“I’m… fine. I’m fine, really”

Rita nodded and watched you for a moment, looking down at your hands on the desk. You felt your heart pound at the touch while Rita felt herself becoming more and more confused. Why were these feelings suddenly coming up? And of all people, why would the feelings come up around you?

•

That night when Jasmin arrived at your apartment, you both got ready before heading to the party together.

You took a taxi and once there you immediately knew where the party was. The house was full of people, the front yard already filled with people. Some younger, some older.

“This is amazing!”, Jasmin said, a huge smile on her face and you chuckled. “Let’s try and find Brent”, she said and you recognized the name as the boy who held the party.

You walked inside and the house was as huge inside as well as outside. “Hey girls! Glad you could make it!”, a voice said and you both turned to see Brent coming towards you.

He hugged you both, before walking over to a table, taking two drinks. “Here you go, party up!”

You took the glasses but quickly stopped Jasmin before she could take a sip. “What?”

“We don’t know where those drinks have been. Anyone could have touched them or put something in it. We will make our own drinks”, you said and threw them in the dish.

“I got booze”, you said and pulled out a vodka bottle and two RedBulls.

“Damn girls you’re ready”, Jasmin chuckled and you started the party.

•

Sonny walked into the precinct, his bag in his hand and greeted Kat and Amanda by their desks. “Hey, what did the judge say?”, Amanda asked as she stood from her seat and Carisi leaned down, kissing her softly, her hand lightly covering his cheek.

Kat smiled at the kiss, happy to see her friends finally together. “Luckily he denied the bail. Jackson isn’t getting out anytime soon”, he said and the two defectives let out breaths of relief.

“What about–“

“Alright I want all hands on deck!”, Liv suddenly said as she and Fin came out of the office.

“Cap what’s going on?”, Rollins asked and Liv turned to her.

“Just got a call about a rape at a party down at the suburbs. Fin and Rollins you go with, Kat stay here in case anyone comes in”

“Yes Captain”

•

You drank more than you probably should’ve. But you enjoyed it. You and Jasmin drank more and more as time went by.

You stood at one of the bars in the backyard with a drink in your hand. You didn’t know where Jasmin was, but right now you didn’t care. Right now you were looking at some of the girls playing in pool.

“Wow that looks nice!”, a boy came up and said and you found yourself nodding. “And the look right here, doesn’t look too bad either. I’m Daniel”, he then said, flirtation in his voice. You rolled your eyes placing your drink on the bar before turning to him.

“You’re cute, but not my type”, you said and Daniel stood tall, looking down at you. It was obvious he was drunk. Very drunk.

“At what’s the matter huh? I’m not man enough for you?”

You chuckled shaking your head. “Oh no that’s exactly the opposite. You’re too man”

You went back to your drink and downed it before leaving the bar and boy behind, Daniel smirking as he watched you leave.

He turned his head and met his mate’s eyes who nodded and the followed you to the bathroom.

The moment you reached the hallway, you felt your head turn a thousand times. You’re vision started to blur, and you felt yourself almost falling asleep immediately.

“Wow are you okay?”, a voice asked and you felt an arm around you, another from the other side. “Let’s get you to a room”, they said and you felt yourself lose control of your body.

You ended in a room and they placed you on the bed, closing the door. “Hehe let’s go. Alright you go first”, Daniel’s friend said and Daniel laughed and opened his pants.

Suddenly the door bursted open and Jasmin walked in. “What the hell is happening here?!”

She was pissed. Absolutely pissed. Here her best friend laid, obviously drugged and completely out of it. “Wow take it easy girl, we were just having fun”, Daniel said and Jasmin looked at the boy.

“You call this having fun?! Raping an unconscious girl?! Get out before I call the police!”, she yelled and people began to come to the room, hearing the screaming.

“What’s going on?”, Brent came and asked and Jasmin turned to him.

“Some of your friends were about to rape my best friend. What a party!”, she yelled and Brent frowned and turned to his friends who stared back at him.

“We were just having fun”, Daniel’s friend said and Brent hardened his eyes.

But before he could say anything. Sirens were heard and they looked at each other. “The cops are here?”, Jasmin asked and Brent turned to Daniel and his friend.

“You two stay here”, he said and left the room. Jasmin walked over to you, turning you onto your back and looked at your face.

“Y/n? Y/n wake up”

She heard the doors open to the house and two women told everyone to get out. Footsteps were heard and a woman stepped in. Jasmin looked at her. Definitely a detective. The moment the detective saw you on the bed, she froze.

“Shit”, she whispered and looked around at the others. “What happened here?!”

“They were about to rape my best friend when I came in!”, Jasmin immediately said and the two boys started defending themselves.

“Alright you two, up against the wall”, she said and walked towards them, before pulling out her walkie talkie. “Liv, we got a situation”, she said into it. “Down the hall”

A few seconds later, Liv stepped in and saw the two boys against the wall. “Rollins wha–“, she stopped as Amanda nodded towards the bed and Liv turned and saw you laying unconscious.

“Oh no”, she said pulling out her walkie talkie.

“Calling central, I need a bus now!”, she called and ran over to the bed, feeling your pulse point. It was there but very faint.

“God please don’t die, Carisi will kill me”, she whispered and called into the walkie talkie. “Fin come to the master bedroom down the hall”

A few seconds Fin came in and saw you on the bed. “Oh fuck”

“I know, I know, let’s just get her out of here”

Fin walked over and took you into his arms. “Oh man Carisi is gonna kill her”

Jasmin watched as they carried you out and Liv walked over and cuffed Daniel’s friend, walking them out.

----------

@storiesofsvu @multifandomlesbianic

#law and order svu #rita calhoun #rita calhoun x reader #reader #reader insert #elizabeth marvel #the defense #age difference #JamieTheTrans

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ningningsplushie · 4 years ago

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Bookstore Rivals

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Word count: 2171

Genre: Used bookstore, cold to clueless to cocky Joon, rivals but in a cutesy way, strangers to lovers, meet cute, reader likes to tease Joon

Summary: Walking into your favourite bookstore, you don’t anticipate to come across the new, handsome cashier. To say the least, the two of you don’t kick it off right away

Warning: minor descriptions of blood, nothing intense.

Y/N’s Wednesday schedule was planned out to a tee. Wake up, attend class, work for four hours, and visit Mr. Kim’s bookstore. As organized and strict as her Wednesdays were, the rest of the week was fairly inconsistent, which was precisely why she enjoyed the middle of the week most as it allowed her to take control for once, not to mention that going to the bookstore was like attending weekly Mass, an occurrence that excited her without fail.

Before the doors of the bus could fully open, with the energy of a thousand men, Y/N leaps through, almost getting her bag caught on the handles during the process. Y/N paused on the sidewalk, tilting her head up towards the high buildings of apartments and stores in the downtown area of Seoul, she closes her eyes and takes a deep to inhale, relishing the smell of the air right after it had rained. The walk from the bus stop to Mr. Kim’s store was only ten minutes but during the ten-minute expedition, she was skipping, flinging her arms back and forth.

In about no time, she arrives, already pushing open the glass door and grinning upon hearing the chime of bells signaling her entrance.

“Per Aspera ad Libros!” Y/N yells out, spreading both of her arms wide. She wasn’t sure why but she greeted the shop like this every time and it just felt right. Through hardships to the books. “Mr. Kiiiiiiim! It’s me, Y/N!” she calls out, peering through the endless rows of brown, nearly rotten shelves.

“Y/N you come here every week like clockwork yet I never tire of your presence,” he greets, exiting from the back room, “how have you been, dear?”

“Oh, I’ve been great, sir. Classes are interesting, I meet new people at work, and my brain is still sucking up thousands of words,” she replies, clasping both of her hands atop her head.

The Fifty-something-year-old man chuckles, the deep-set lines of his mouth accentuating when he reveals his grin, his crow's feet growing stronger as his eyes close in joy. “Good, good, I’m glad you’re enjoying life.”

“I try my best to, but, you know, it can get hard at times.”

“That’s true enough. Just keep your head high and the things you love near.”

“That’s what I’m planning on. Oh, I nearly forgot! The store didn’t have any strawberry smoothies so I got you a mango one. I know those are your second favourite,” she acknowledges, shrugging off her backpack, bringing out two small bottles of smoothies, one for Mr. Kim and one for herself.

“Thank you, dear. Let me just put a few more books away and we’ll get to talking.”

Not even a minute later, he returns, and the two stand by the large window next to the entrance, talking as they usually do about books, life, and Y/N’s school.

“I’m really glad I switched majors. Business was such a bore and-” Y/N stops in her tracks, eyes glued to the cash register when she spots a tall man sitting while reading a book with brown hair that was pushed back, revealing his forehead. She couldn’t quite tell if he was good-looking or not as his face was impassive, too engrossed in his book. From what she saw, he was easy on the eyes. Y/N frequented this bookstore on many occasions and she had never seen this guy before and she was worried that he was a suspicious character, attempting to steal. “Uhhhhh Mr. Kim,” Y/N says at a low frequency, making sure the stranger doesn’t hear, “I think that guy at the cash register is trying to steal.”

Mr. Kim’s eyes go wide and whips his head toward the counter. He's about to yell out but then rests his eyes on the sitting figure and begins to laugh. “You had me worried for a second.” he croaks out, chest heaving from laughing too much. “He isn’t stealing or anything like that. Y/N, meet my nephew Kim Namjoon. He’s just moved here from Ilsan and started working with me while he attends university.”

Now it was Y/N turn to laugh, hand slapping her forehead as she leans forward, shoulders vibrating. “Oh wow, I’m really stupid.” She composes herself and straightens her back, offering a bow to the tall man. “Hi, I’m really sorry about that. I’m Y/N, by the way.”

She expected the guy to close his book and smile, introduce himself, or even offer a small nod, but definitely not, “It’s Per Aspera ad Astra, not per Aspera ad Libros.”

Mouth hanging open in shock, she finally takes a nice look at Mr. Kim’s nephew. As handsome as this guy was, he certainly wasn’t nice. He had a heart-shaped face of some sort, his cheeks being his widest features before tapering down to his chin. His eyes, best described as puffy monolids, were wide-set and made him look intelligent. If he’s trying to correct my Latin then he certainly is, she thought. Y/N tries to detect any sign of him joking but is only met with the limp rest of his plump lips.

“Namjoon!” Mr. Kim gasps in shock. “We don’t treat customers like that.”

Y/N recovers from...whatever that was and simply questions, “Oh? Is that so?”

“Yeah, I should know.”

Nodding, Y/N takes a look at the book he was reading and ignores his answer, replying with, “How disappointing. Have fun with Fitzgerald.” Y/N then turns to Mr. Kim and says, “Alright, I won’t be here too long, I’ll just see if you have anything of interest.”

Walking towards her favourite section, she hears, “What is wrong with you, Namjoon? You choose now, of all times, to be a smartass?” This was followed by a sharp thump, which Y/N assumed was from Mr. Kim’s hand meeting with Namjoon’s head.

Y/N browses a few sections for ten minutes before noticing Namjoon standing on a ladder from the other side of the shelf. Hearing him grunt, obviously struggling with something, she peers up from between the shelf and cracks of old books and sees him trying to push a book between a tight crevice. Y/N stifles a giggle at how different this guy looks, from the cold, impassive face at the counter to the one with brows furrowed and cheeks puffed up. He was...kinda cute. She keeps watching him from the other side of the shelf and he finally succeeds in nudging the book on the shelf. That, however, came at a price. When he forcefully pushed the novel between two other ones, it came in contact with one on Y/N’s side, sending it tumbling down, hitting Y/N on the forehead.

“OW!” Y/N’s eyes close in pain and her jaw clenches at the sharp and immediate pain. Namjoon, meanwhile, jumps from the top of the ladder and rushes to her side.

“Oh god, I’m so so sorry. Please, I really didn’t mean to hit your head I was just-”

Wanting to tease him, she interrupts him, whining out, “I didn’t know you hated me this much. First you criticize my Latin now you hit me with…” she bends down to pick up the fallen book and does everything in her power to not laugh at the coincidence. “Fitzgerald! You hit me with Fitzgerald! Unbelievable. I’ve been here for thirty minutes and you already have a personal vendetta against me. And here I was thinking that the two of us could be great friends.”

Namjoon tilts his head back and groans. “Great, I’ll never live up to this. I really didn’t intend to hit your head. Are you alright though?”

Y/N playfully nudges his shoulder. “Relax, I’m fine. I’m still in one piece, aren’t I?”

She wasn’t. Blood dripped down from her forehead onto her nose. “What-” Y/N crosses her eyes to inspect the drop and says, “Oh wow, I guess I’m not. You got a tissue?”

This only urged Namjoon to panic even more. “I'M SO SORRY!”

“Hey, it’s fine.”

“It hardly isn’t,” he yelps back, eyes shooting up. “My uncle’s gonna kill me.”

Faking dejection, she hangs her head down and looks up at him through her lashes. “So you’re more worried about your uncle and not me?”

“What?!” Realizing his mistake, he winces, given himself a facepalm. “Just ignore me, please. Let’s get you fixed up before he comes back,” he murmurs, gently pushing Y/N to sit on the counter.

Y/N dangles her legs off the counter, swinging them around like a restless child as Namjoon goes to the backroom, trying to find the first-aid kit as fast as he can. A few seconds later he returns to Y/N, fumbling with the latch of the kit with his large hands before Y/N snatches the white box from him and opens it.

“Don’t be so nervous, Doc, it isn’t life and death. Or…” she tracks off, suddenly grabbing her chest with one hand and holding Namjoon’s shoulder with the other. “Namjoon… I don’t feel so good. What did you do to me?”

“Stop that! Don’t worry me even more.” He sputtered, glaring at Y/N.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. Just do your thing.”

Namjoon starts with cleaning up her wound with alcohol, carefully applying pressure so as not to hurt her even further. Y/N winces at the burn on her forehead, causing Namjoon to flinch. “Sorry if I hurt you,” he apologizes, offering her a sheepish grin, revealing the dimples she hadn’t seen up until now. Wow...he’s really handsome.

All the confidence that Y/N flies out the window, becoming increasingly flustered at his adorable features. “It’s alright,” she mumbled, drawing her eyes to the ground.

Namjoon resumes wiping her wound clean and Y/N decides to tease him even further. “Did my comment about Fitzgerald sting you that bad that you had to throw one of his books at me? Or was my Latin that bad?”

Namjoon groans, clearly embarrassed at his own actions. “Can we pleaaassseeee not bring this up again? I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me?”

“Hmmmmm,” she considers for a while. “No. My Latin wasn’t wrong, by the way. It was 100 percent correct.”

“But the phrase is-”

“I know what the phrase is. I changed it because I’m talking to the books, not the stars. Through hardships to the books. No matter what I go through, I always find myself with a book or at your uncle’s store. It’s always been that way. You’re not the only smart one here, wiseass,” she finishes, trying to contain her grin.

Namjoon clamps his mouth shut, opens it, and closes it again, all before spitting out, “I’m really sorry, I didn’t realize-”

“It’s alright, Joonie.” He pauses his actions upon hearing this. “Hmmm, Joonie. That’s a cute nickname. I’ll call you that from now on.”

“Oh...alright. That’s-that’s cool.” He’s done with cleaning her forehead, now rummaging through the kit for a band-aid. “Wait. What do you have against Fitzgerald?” He questions, finally finding one of the appropriate size for the cut.

Here’s the kicker. “Absolutely nothing. I quite enjoyed Tender is the Night and The Great Gatsby. I just wanted to get a rile out of you. That’s what you get for trying to correct my Latin.” She taunts, sticking her tongue out at him.

He applies the band-aid and smirks. Now it was Namjoon’s turn to tease her. “And look where it got you.”

“Hey! You said...wait,” she sidetracks, hopping off the counter. “Go out for coffee with me.”

“What? Where’s this coming from?” Namjoon asks, bewildered.

“You said, and I quote, ‘what more do you want from me?’ I’d like to go get coffee together.”

“You really are smooth, huh?” he muses, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, I try my best. So what do you say...Joonie?”

“I’m not sure. You could be a psycho murderer for all I know.”

Y/N drops her mouth open and scoffs. “Are you kidding me? You’re the one who almost killed me. Listen, You’re new in the city, I can show you around and guess what? I’ll let you pay for the drinks. As an apology for my gorgeous new bump. How’s that sound?”

Namjoon stares at her for a few beats, basking in her features. “You’re really cute when you’re defending your case.”

“Uhhhhh, I know I am, now please, stop beating around the bush. Would you, or would you not like to buy me coffee and allow me to show you the hottest spots in Seoul?

He considers his answer and asks, “Promise not to kill me?”

“I can’t protect you from my good looks, Joonie,” Y/N quips, twirling a strand of her hair with her finger, causing Namjoon to let out a cackle.

“Alright, I’m down. Just make it worth my while, Y/N.”

“Oh, I promise.”

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prayerforlove · 3 years ago

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How to have petty beef: a five-step guide by 18th and 19th century figures

Somewhere along the way, British people got the reputation of being very polite. However true that may be, these 18th and 19th century feuds—real and fictional—certainly didn’t help establish it. If you’re looking at Kanye’s public meltdown and feeling uninspired about the current state of public feuds, cast your gaze back a century or two, and you’ll find some lessons that still apply to today. 18th and 19th century figures present, for your consideration: how to have petty beef. Featuring many Kanye cameos.

1. Make it public, and, by god, make it messy: Jonathon Swift and Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

It all started with a fateful poem: Jonathan Swift’s “The Lady’s Dressing Room.” Swift notoriously loved a good laugh (see: the world’s first pro-baby eating piece of work, A Modest Proposal), which led to his writing a poem about a man who sneaks into a beautiful lady’s dressing room only to find that, under her powders and perfumes, she’s stinky and hairy. And then the shoe drops: “Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!” (43-44). This did not sit well with Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. Luckily, she contacted Swift and they calmly aired their grievances in private—no, I’m kidding, she wrote a response poem called “The Reasons That Induced Dr. S. to Write a Poem Called ‘The Lady’s Dressing Room.’” Thus we arrive at Swift and Montagu’s lesson: make it public and make it messy. Montagu follows through on the former through the title of her poem (the name dropping is a nice touch), and the latter by asserting that the speaker in Swift’s poem is launching a smear campaign on the titular lady because of sexual frustration. If that’s messy, then the last line is chaos: “She answered short, "I'm glad you'll write./You'll furnish paper when I shite’” (23-24). And the whole world just got to sit back and watch.

2. Operate under the assumption that you’re correct about everything and everyone else is wrong: Alexander Pope and… well, a lot of people

Alexander Pope beefed indiscriminately. If you were an author in the 18th century, then there was a good chance you were going to appear in Pope’s Dunciad, a chronical of Pope’s least favorite writers and their faults. Eliza Haywood, touted as Mrs. Novel in her time, received this treatment (I invite you to recall one Kanye West interrupting one Taylor Swift at the VMAs). Pope draws from some innate authority that he assumes automatically earns him the moral high ground. Or, put simply, if you write a decisive enough poem, then you get to be right about things. Take Pope’s “Essay on Man,” where Pope regales the reader with the correct view of humanity. He knows, by the way, because he’s super tight with God: “Laugh where we must, be candid where we can;/ But vindicate the ways of God to man” (15-16). Other assertive statements throughout the poem provc that confidence is key—you can feud with anyone you want if you dibs the moral, intellectual, and literary high ground. And also let everyone else know they suck, since, after all, “Whatever is, is right” (290).

3. An alternate approach—try condescension under the guise of politeness: Mr. Bennet and Mr. Collins

Petty feuding went beyond the realm of reality into fiction with Mr. Bennet and Mr. Collins, characters in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. If you’re not 100 percent into the devastating public throwdown approach or the “God told me I’m right” approach, you can try beating around the bush a little. When tragedy befell the Bennet family, Mr. Collins took it upon himself to write a consolatory letter. The letter’s just a victory lap after Mr. Collins was rejected by Mr. Bennet’s daughter, but he can’t just come out and say that. So he takes the long way: “They agree with me in apprehending that this false step in one daughter will be injurious to the fortunes of all the others; for who, as Lady Catherine herself condescendingly says, will connect themselves with such a family?” (319). Even when the tragedy’s resolved, he claims he’s “truly rejoiced” but is “only concerned that their living together before the marriage took place should be so generally known” (347). Very nice; very Regina George. Of course, Mr. Bennet, after his favorite daughter secured a very opportune marriage, responded with the same saccharine niceties: “I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabeth will soon be the wife of Mr. Darcy” (365). Bonus points if this whole exchange happens over a cup of tea.

4. When traditional methods fail, you can just amp up the audacity: Percy Shelley and William Wordsworth

Percy Bysshe Shelley is here to assure you: in the name of public beef, there is no line that you can’t cross. Audacity! That’s what we’re looking for. And that’s what second-generation Romantic poet Shelley took advantage of in his feud with the first-generation William Wordsworth. Wordsworth had done his time as a radical artist, and had retreated into a cushy government position. Shelley had… feelings about this. He took a moment to reflect on these feelings, went to see Wordsworth, and—sorry, still no, looks like that’s never going to happen. Shelley wrote a eulogy to Wordsworth (aptly titled “To Wordsworth”—again with the name-dropping), with a clear message: you’re so disappointing compared to your younger self, you might as well be dead. Ouch. In true Kanye fashion, the poet doesn’t mince words: “In honoured poverty thy voice did weave/Songs consecrate to truth and liberty,—/Deserting these, thou leavest me to grieve,/Thus having been, that thou shouldst cease to be” (11-14). If you’re allowed to go there, it follows that there’s nowhere you can’t go—Shelley approves.

5. Go for broke if it’s about politics: Thomas Paine and Edmund Burke

The feud-inducing item for the past few examples have been literary—but things only get more heated when politics gets thrown into the mix. The French Revolution was of particular political interest to eighteenth-century English citizens, cleaving the country neatly into pro- and opponents. Edmund Burke was a strong opponent, vilifying the revolution and its supporters in the name of family and humanity, using such charged words as “alarm, dismay, and slaughter,” before launching into an imagined account of the Queen’s distress (1131). Thomas Paine felt a little differently about the revolution, and those feelings bled into his feelings about Burke. He critiques Burke’s “horrid principles,” pointing out his apparent “rancour, prejudice, ignorance, [and] knowledge” (1132). We’ve come to expect this behavior from poets, but Enlightenment-era essayists? The shocking dress-down can only be the result of politics-fueled fury, which might sound familiar. If it does, incredible news: channeling your anger about a person’s political beliefs into anger at them is super 18th/19th century approved. Especially if that person wrote a really annoying think piece about it.

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