#there were a couple people who sent me incredibly kind and helpful asks when i was at my lowest point on this website

[monstermoviedean]

thanks for being nice to me <3

[moonsaver]

hiyaaa! its me again!! omg is it just me or is there just NO robin x reader content like, at all???

please please please!! if you don't mind, please give me your robin romantic headcanons?

an extra add on food for thought: what do you think would happen if both siblings happen to pine after the same person?

Hello dear inbox visitor! I think it would be better if you sent it during while requests were open, since it kind of teeters on the line between thoughts vs requests haha. Anyways, you're right. We dont have enough x robin content :(

Lets try and fix it!

Robin seems like a very attentive lover, which is surprising considering how busy she would be since she's a popstar.

During conversations or small talk, passing phrases, she makes sure to listen to you lovingly,and makes note of all the small things about you.

To me, I think she'd be the type of person who puts your name as just a pink heart icon, and notes down all the things you like in the description of your contact. She also has a separate notes tab for other things like your wishlist items, things she's noticed about you, and so on.

She's optimistic, but not unrealistic. If you're the overthinker type, she grounds you flawlessly. She's very rational and sorts things out carefully with you, sitting you down gently and discusses everything on your mind with you. Gives you a lovely, soft smile when you stop overthinking and come to a solution with a relaxed sigh.

Surprisingly sensitive to physical contact. She's not touch-starved, nor averse to it, but still is unused to it for the most part. However, she likes holding hands very often. She'd be very happy if you rubbed your thumb over her knuckles. Often takes off her glove just to hold your hand. I feel like her hands would be pleasantly cold. She squeaks slightly when you kiss her face! Then giggles. She likes the feeling of you peppering her face in kisses.

Lets you touch her wings often, and they are incredibly soft. They smell pleasantly of flowers, and sometimes she flutters them on your face to make you giggle. She doesn't mind if you mess them up a bit, as long as it's not before a concert.

If you have hair long enough to braid, she'll want to do that. She has cute little accessories on her that she uses whenever you let her, cute clips and hair ties that she uses for you specifically. She also really likes it when you braid her hair. She doesn't care if it's not pretty, she just likes that you're the one doing it.

Often, I imagine she gets overwhelmed with the amount of people working on her appearances that sometimes she just asks them to leave and has you help her work on her appearance. It could just be feedback and she'll appreciate it. She just likes being in your presence whenever she's overwhelmed, which can be often if she's especially out on a tour. If you can't be there physically, she'll want to call you, or replay any voice notes you may have sent previously. She saves them all – date, time, named and even the context behind them. She misses you dearly whenever she's away, just doesn't have the time to even express it.

If you're alright with cosmetics of all kinds, she's a little thrilled. She'll want you to try her perfumes and clothes, too. Kisses you directly if you ask for her lip balm or lipgloss, then giggles at the transferred sheen. Likes trying out new eye palette colors on you, trying out new styles of makeup, and often asks for suggestion on her own outfits. She also adores when you both dress up in matching outfits, and has a neat little album of you two consisting of photos that she takes.

Robin can feel a bit shy asking for affection or doing cute couple-things. She really likes the corny things, like indirect kisses from shared straws, being stared at while she's doing something, being kissed in the rain, dancing together, etc.. she also probably saw you eat a lollipop once, and wanted to ask you for a taste, but got too shy and didn't ask. You have to take the initiative and comfort her into asking for these things.

Anyways, if both siblings pine for the same person.. it's gonna be a little strained. Depends on how much they like the reader respectively, but lets assume both of them are head over heels for reader.

Robin and Sunday pining after the same person may either bring them together or put more strain on their already, slightly distant relationship. I feel like Sunday may either support his sister, convince her to pursue you and share you with him, or guilt trip her into not approaching you. Not even as a yandere, Sunday can be a little manipulative and greedy when it comes to his feelings. Ever since Robin left Sunday alone as the head of the Oak Family, I feel like he would harbor a small amount of apathy or even dislike towards her because of it, and on top of that, if she ends up liking you, he'll feel oddly like you've been stolen from him.

Robin.. won't back off so easily however. She's a smart girl, and even if she obliges to her brother's whims, she knows him better than anyone else. She'll probably stay docile for the most part, though. However, she isn't just a pretty face. Just because she remains docile doesn't mean she's given you up completely to her brother. She'll at least remain stubborn on having you to some degree, even if it means straining their relationship a bit.

[anna-hawk]

Dexterity

Frank Castle x F!Reader

Summary: You're having some quality time on your own when Frank pays you an unexpected visit.

Explicit 🔞 • WC: 4,1k

Tags and warnings: masturbation, finger fucking, teasing, praise kink, hand & finger kink, dirty talk

Always time for Coffee series

⚠️ If you follow me on AO3, this is NOT a new fic! ⚠️

A/N: This month will mark five years since I posted my very first Frank x Reader fic. I made a small post for the series a few years back, but never a dedicated one for the first ever fic. After the news and pics of getting Frank back today, even if it's only for a small role, I was thinking back to the time I got first inspired to write and actually post something for once. It's been quite the journey since then and this series has now 16 parts, but most importantly, this fic played a big part in me joining the beautiful fandom that I've been a part of these past 4 years and getting me to meet incredible people. So I figured, let's be nostalgic and officially post it on here too.

Ever since meeting Frank Castle, you’ve been obsessed with his hands.

You know they have killed numerous people and could do cruel things to the ones deserving it, but you also know how kind and gentle they can be. When he would come to your shop as Pete, you’d seen how he would talk to one of your employees' kid, the boy having always had a short fuse, and manage to calm the boy down by simply putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. The couple of times when he’d handled the fragile elements of your ice cream maker while repairing it with those deft hands had also shown how gentle they could be. 

Yeah, you really have a thing for his hands and the guy himself.

The first time you'd met him, you'd met Pete Castiglione the construction worker, who’d been visiting your Café for the first time. You had followed the whole Punisher debacle on TV and had been very intrigued by the man’s story. Yet even though you'd thought that Pete looked familiar, it had taken you a few weeks of him coming in every other day and helping you out with an electrical problem, to realize who had actually been hiding under all this wild hair and beard. That had been the first time you had come into contact with his hands, too. He had taken off his baseball cap, looked at you to ask where the problem was while standing really close to you, and something in his expression had finally made it click inside you. You'd breathed out, “Frank Castle,” in stunned realization a moment later. In the next second, he'd had you by your throat and against the opposite wall, asking who’d sent you. You had been so startled that you’d just started laughing at the absurdity of you being able to hurt him. Okay, so maybe not really laughed as much as choked, since he’d had his fingers squeezing rather hard around your windpipe. But you'd managed to wheeze out your thoughts, and he'd released you enough for you to tell him why and how you had recognized him. He’d deemed you trustworthy enough, apparently, because he'd let go of you and apologized for overreacting.

You had promised him that you would never tell anyone about him that same evening.

As weeks passed, and he’d still come by your Café, you'd managed to build a rather close friendship. After a while, though, you'd noticed that he was coming by less and less until he stopped coming altogether, making you worried. Finally, after the day everyone had found out that Frank Castle was still alive through live TV, he'd come to your shop when you were closing. You had been even more scared for him since the news and beyond relieved to see him unscathed. You had been touched to learn that he’d wanted to make sure that no one had found out that you knew about him and come to hurt you to get to him. He'd also told you that he would have to lie low for a while. You'd suggested that he should come to your place and hide there. He had declined, too worried about what could happen to you. Still, as you'd accepted his concern, you'd told him that he could come to yours whenever he needed to, no matter the time of the day or the night. You had never been more glad about giving him your address because weeks later, he had come to hide for the night and had done so several nights until the whole thing with Billy Russo had been over.

Nowadays, he still shows up every now and again. Mostly nights because he has some business to take care of, or just to say hi. You both grab a drink (mostly coffee) and chat. You enjoy his company a lot. Okay, more than a lot. You’ve had a thing for the Punisher even before meeting Frank, but since knowing the man himself, you couldn’t help being attracted to Frank and his beautiful large hands and agile fingers. Among other things. You don't know where he stands with romantic or even only physical relationships considering his past, but you do kind of flirt with one another. You know that Frank likes you a lot; otherwise he wouldn’t come to see you regularly. But even if you want him, badly, you feel that it’s more like bantering to him and nothing more.

That doesn’t stop you from dreaming or fantasizing about him and the filthy things that you’d love him to do to you or you to him, though. And that's actually exactly what you’re doing right now. You’re lying on your bed, the sheets tangled around your legs, one hand inside your sleeping shorts while your breaths come harder and faster. You’ve been teasing yourself for what feels like an hour, fingers alternating between circling your clit languidly and pushing three deep into you to mimic the size of two of his, getting yourself closer and closer to one spectacular orgasm. You’ve got your eyes closed, face flushed, bottom lip between your teeth, while your middle finger is rubbing faster and faster over your slippery clit. Harsh breaths leave you as you picture Frank spreading you wide with his fingers and whispering dirty nothings into your ear. You’re right there, on the brink, ready to fall, when there’s a resounding knock at your door.

You yelp in surprise and flinch so hard that you nearly hit yourself in the face with how fast you remove your hand from between your legs. You’re trying to get your bearings back, your body still trembling from being strung high for so long and not getting what it wants, when there is another knock. You groan in frustration and get up on wobbly legs to go check on who wants to see you so badly at that time of night. You look through the peephole and gasp when you see Frank’s face. He'd been here only last week, and he usually shows up only once a month at best, so you’re completely thrown when you open your door to the smirking man.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” he greets in his signature gruff and deep voice, upper body pressed lazily against the door jamb.

He’s looking calm and carrying no signs of a recent fight. Meaning that this isn’t an emergency call. Good. He’s wearing dark jeans and a charcoal Henley with his usual combat boots, three days worth of stubble on his face. He looks mouthwatering, and you valiantly try not to let anything show on your face.

“Was in the neighborhood visitin' Curtis and thought I could come check on you too. Sorry it’s so late,” he continues, confirming your earlier thoughts on there being no immediate danger.

“You’ve come by way later, Frank,” you remind him with a snort and motion for him to follow you inside.

You notice that your voice came out a bit strained, and hope that he doesn’t see how your knees are still shaking after the near orgasm and the effect his unexpected presence has on you. Well, turns out that you’re out of luck. 

“You okay there?” He asks, as he follows you into the kitchen.

You groan inside, of course he noticed. You still try to play it off.

“What? Of course, I’m okay.” You hate how your laugh sounds off. You’re usually better at faking stuff like that.

“Yeah?” he says, coming to stand right before you to give you a once over. “'cause you’re all flushed and breathin' kinda hard.” He even lifts one hand to feel your temperature, but you dodge it and turn to the sink, reaching over it to get two coffee mugs out of a cupboard. Anything to avoid him see you blush even more.

“I’m fine, Frank, don’t worry… Coffee?” You desperately hope that he’s going to let it go. You need to put yourself back together and slow your breathing.

“Can never refuse your coffee.”

You breathe a small sigh of relief when he seems to accept your answer and smile at how fond he sounds of your coffee making skills. You’re about to reach for the coffee beans when he says, “Seriously, though, am I makin' you this nervous or what's goin' on?”

You put your hands back down and groan in defeat, hanging your head.

“Could you just let it go, Frank? Please?”

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, and you don’t turn around to look at him while you wait.

“Did I interrupt somethin'?” He finally says, amusement clear in his voice. Damn him and his perceptiveness.

You hide your face in your hands and whimper in embarrassment.

“Oh God, just shut up, Frank!” Your voice is muffled by your hands. He barks out a laugh, making you lower your hands again. “You’re such a jerk.”

“Hey, hey, `s okay Sweetheart, there’s nothin' to be embarrassed about,” he tells you gently, though you can tell that he’s still grinning, the bastard.

“Yes well…” You still refuse to turn around, even though you can hear him move closer behind you.

“'could always show me, y'know,” he says, and even though the words hit you to the core because the thought alone sends a new wave of deep arousal through you, you can’t place his tone. 

That's why you do the only thing that comes to mind and gasp, turning around to backhand him in the chest and play into the joke.

“Oh, fuck you, asshole.”

You meet his eyes and see that there’s something there, lying just under the teasing glint. You suck in a breath, holding it in, while your heart beats a nervous tattoo against your rib cage.

“Or… I could help 'course,” he finally says, voice low, after what feels like minutes and not seconds, his piercing eyes never leaving yours.

You stare at him, still barely daring to breathe. The idea of him helping you out nearly sends you to your knees. Eventually, you exhale in a snort because come on, he doesn’t mean it, and go back to facing the counter, taking the coffee beans out of the cupboard.

“Yeah, right… Let’s get back to that coffee, yeah?” Bonus points for sounding offhand.

You hear him taking another step and then see his hands coming to rest on the counter, one on each side of you, effectively caging you in. His voice is a rough whisper against your left ear, making you gasp.

“Is that a no?”

Your hands, now inches apart from Frank’s, are gripping the marble beneath them, hard. You close your eyes and swallow.

“Don’t play games with me, Frank.” Your voice goes deeper and colder in warning. You might not expect anything romantic-wise from him, but you won’t be made a fool of.

“‘m not playin', Baby.”

To confirm his words, he glides his nose along your nape and bites you lightly on the juncture between neck and shoulder.

You moan, all need. That nickname. He's never used it before, but it does something to you. Babe you’ve never liked. But Baby? The way Frank says it, just gets to you. You incline your head to the side, a silent surrender, and feel him grin against your skin. Your eyes are closed so that you don’t see his right hand leave the counter, but feel it settle on your hip and slowly glide down your thigh to the hem of your shorts. To your dismay, his mouth leaves your neck.

“Spread your legs for me, Sweetheart,” he rumbles into your ear.

You oblige instantly, parting your legs and leaning slightly forward to accommodate him. Frank hums in approval. You can feel his fingers on your skin now, just beneath the hem of your shorts, slowly making their way under your right butt cheek and to your center, the touch light and measured. How is it that he's barely touching you and making your breathing speed up again? You try to relax your hands because you’re still gripping the hard kitchen surface like crazy; anything to anchor you. But Frank chooses that moment to push the short’s to the side, hooking it between your ass cheeks and the left side of your outer lips, to grant him easier access. One large finger slides through your still wet folds. One lazy pass through your slit and up to your clit, and your hands lock into place again, a harsh gasp leaving your mouth.

“Shit, already so fuckin’ wet, huh? Guess I did interrupt somethin' good.”

You say nothing, you can’t right now.

Frank keeps up his slow and torturous pace, sometimes staying over your clit and circling it with a featherlight touch that has you nearly screaming in frustration. You try to get a bit more pressure by pushing down on his finger every time he does this, but he just goes back to teasing your slit. Your arms are trembling from the strain, and you murmur a nearly silent plea for more. He seems to hear you though because he chuckles kindly and applies enough pressure for you to moan in satisfaction for a few seconds, before he stops again, too soon. When you fantasize about him, you usually picture him as the teasing kind of lover, but your imagination could never have reached this level.

“Tell me… What you been thinkin' about earlier?”

You’re kind of put out to hear that his voice is still steady, so you decide on the truth. In for a penny and all that.

“You,” you breathe softly.

His movements stop, and you’re satisfied with his reaction, when you realize that you might have overshared. His hand is moving again a moment later, and he growls deep in his throat. He presses his chest to your back, left hand coming up from the counter to grab your jaw and pull it to the side to press biting kisses into your neck and shoulder, making you keen.

“Me, huh? Fuck, now I really want ya to show me sometime…,” he pants roughly into your neck, index finger rubbing tighter and harder over you. “And what was I doin’?”

You have to concentrate to answer him, the pressure on your clit so delicious now. Your voice ends up breaking on each word.

“Something… like… that…”

“Something?”

“Finger-fucking… me.”

He inhales sharply, and you feel him adjust his position behind you, his clothed erection brushing against your ass for a second.

“Something like that?”

Two of his large fingers plunge deep into you, filling you to the brim. You cry out in bliss and go up on your tiptoes for a second as your body rises. Your back bows backward, resulting in your head coming to rest on his shoulder, while your eyes close, and you catch your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Fuck, you feel so good for me, Baby,” he groans into your temple. He withdraws slightly before pushing back all the way in, setting a steady rhythm as the way his name keeps falling from your lips keeps him going.

The hand on your jaw slackens after a while and travels down your neck, over your collarbone and a covered nipple. He’s stroking down your belly and to the junction of your thighs before he finally stops directly over your clit. He rolls it between index and thumb with just the right amount of too much and not enough pressure, or flicks quickly over it repeatedly to keep you on your toes and not know what to expect next. The rhythm of his two hands are completely different. Where his left hand is teasing you slowly but mercilessly, his right hand still has two fingers fucking you fast and deep, making you whimper brokenly. His fingers feel absolutely incredible, yet you know that it’s to keep you on the edge of release. You love and hate it at the same time. The dual sensation has you removing your head from his shoulder to take your weight with your hands on the counter again, leaning forward a bit more to push your ass out and give him even better access.

Frank grunts his approval and keeps up the pace. You feel him resting his forehead on the nape of your neck.

“Holy shit, girl, look at ya takin' my fingers so perfectly,” he says gruffly. You squeeze down on said fingers at the praise, resulting in a groan of appreciation from him.

Eventually, no matter how long he’d intended to keep you on the brink, you’ve been strung so high for so long, that your orgasm is building inexorably, your body ready to crash back down again. His continuous praise is speeding it up as well. Your legs start to shake and a light sheen of sweat is covering your skin. Your harsh breaths are intermingled with moans and gasps of please mores and yesyesyes.

“Frank, please,” you beg one last time. “Please!”

“I gotcha, Sweetheart,” Frank answers finally and starts upping his pace on your clit.

“Yes!” you hiss, elated.

But Frank is apparently not completely done with you because he removes his two fingers from inside you, only to push back but with a third one, this time. You can only cry out in surprise and deep pleasure as he gives you half a second to adjust, before he starts an intense rhythm again. You’ve never felt this full with only fingers, and you can now feel as your release starts curling hotter and tighter in your belly.

“F-f-f-frank, I’m so, so close,” you manage to breathe out.

Frank keeps a litany of words spilling out of his mouth against your neck, “So fuckin' perfect for me” and, “Takin' me so beautifully”.

Suddenly, you're right there again, just like before, ready to take the leap. You feel the shivers running through your whole body and centering where Frank is rubbing tighter and tighter circles. Frank lifts his head from yours and growls deeply into your ear. “Now come for me, Baby. Come on my fingers.”

“Oh fuck, Frank!” You mewl, high-pitched, and that’s it. Everything in you snaps at his words. The intensity of this so long to come orgasm hits you like a freight train driven by Frank Castle. Your body curves back against his, your head back on his shoulder, facing his neck. Your hold on the kitchen worktop becomes deadly again after having slackened somewhat, and you cry out in pure, unadulterated bliss. You dimly feel Frank stopping the fingers inside you and taking them out to circle your waist and push you even more back against him. His focus is on his left hand, index finger still stroking your bud with intense precision, prolonging your release.

As you’re slowly coming down, your body begins to tremble and Frank tightens his hold on you to prevent your knees from giving out on you. You finally release the worktop, fingers a bit stiff, and put them over Frank’s arm to hold on to. His finger hasn’t stop working you, though, and while it’s sending you nice aftershocks, which have you jerking and gasping against him, you finally reach down with one hand to grab his wrist to stop his movements and rest it against your waist with the other.

“Too much,” you mumble into his throat.

You stand like that for a while, both not saying anything while you try to get your breathing back under control. As the seconds trickle by, and you process the last fifteen minutes, you can’t help the laugh that bubbles up and escapes your lips.

“What?” Frank asks, and you can hear the amusement in his voice.

“That was so not what I was expecting from your visit… Not that I mind, of course,” you grin, all relaxed limbs and all.

Frank chuckles, “‘m a man full of surprises.”

You reach down to tug at your shorts and make yourself presentable again, and snicker.

“That you are,” you say and turn around in his arms to look at him, your hands coming to rest on his strong chest.

Your heart misses a beat when you see his face. He’s a bit flushed, and he’s still breathing rather deeply, but it’s his eyes that capture your full attention. They are still dark with arousal, the gaze intense and fixed on yours. Frank’s lips break out in a smirk as he catches you staring. You swallow and clear your throat as you finally take in the hard outline of his dick against your body. You’re about to open your mouth to inquire about it, but he beats you to it.

“Don’ worry ‘bout it, Sweetheart.”

“But-”

“‘m good,” he cuts in again, kissing your temple to take the sting out of his rebuttal before letting go of you.

You stay quiet and lean back against the counter as you nod vaguely. Frank takes a few steps backwards away from you, one hand coming up to rake through his hair and down his neck in a nervous gesture. He doesn’t look at you, so you decide to break the silence. You’re still floating on your high a bit and don’t want things to get uncomfortable between you two.

“So… coffee?”

You see him take a small breath and look back at you with a smile. His eyes are kind but unreadable, like they so often are when he’s thinking about something.

“Yeah, I’d like that, thanks.”

You smile and get back to grab the things you need, Frank going to sit on the couch. The silence is only broken by the coffee grinder for a small while. Your apartment is one large space with an open kitchen that gives on a big living area. A comfortable couch and a coffee table, that are framed by two armchairs, face a flat screen TV and huge floor to ceiling windows. Your bedroom with en suite bathroom is on the opposite side from the kitchen. You adore this place. From where you’re preparing the two mugs, you only have to turn your head to the left to see Frank sitting on the couch, arms thrown over the back of it, legs spread wide. He stares unblinkingly at the darkness and buildings outside your windows. You bite your lip and sigh softly. Once you’re done, one mug with strong dark coffee for Frank in one hand and in the other one with decaf because you definitely don’t need any more excitement tonight, you make your way over to him.

You walk around the back of the couch to sit at the opposite end, your back resting against the armrest. You extend your hand with Frank’s mug toward him. He blinks down at it for a second before taking the mug. He turns his upper body to face you, and you relax a little more at the half smile, half smirk that he usually wears and that he gives you now.

“Thanks,” he says gratefully and hums in pleasure when he takes his first sip.

“Anytime,” you chuckle warmly. You had been proud to find out that Frank had initially come to your Café because he had heard people talking about the quality of your coffee.

You sit there without saying anything, but this time it’s a comfortable silence, both savoring your drinks.

“So how’s Curtis?” You inquire after several long minutes.

It’s an honest question, but you also want to show Frank that you can still talk like you used to. You’ve never met Curtis, but you’ve heard a lot about him and how he has always been there for Frank. That alone means a lot in your book. You end up talking for a small amount of time, conversation becoming easier, before Frank decides to bid you goodnight. You walk him back to the door, and he envelops you in a hug that you hadn’t been expecting at this point. He kisses you on a temple like he often does, making you smile into his neck fondly before returning the kiss but on one cheek instead.

“Take care,” he rasps into your ear, before letting go of you and opening the door.

“Be careful,” you counter with raised eyebrows and a meaningful look.

Frank chuckles and nods. “I'll see what I can do.”

He walks off to the elevator, which opens for him immediately when he pushes the call button, and steps inside. He lifts a hand in a wave as the doors slide closed in front of him, and then he’s gone.

You close your door and lean against it, heaving a heavy sigh. You don’t really know what to feel right now. You’ve just had one of the most memorable orgasms of your life, but still don’t know where you stand with Frank. If you go back to how things were before tonight, that’s fine with you. You’re kind of afraid that you might have scared him off, but the way he behaved before leaving makes you feel confident enough that you haven’t. The ball is definitely in Frank’s court now. You would have to wait and see.

[bo0mcat]

Hi Joker Out Tumblr!

I’m not very active here but after seeing all the comments regarding the recent JokerOutSubs interview in London I had to respond.

I was the one who went to go and interview them in London and the response over the last couple of days has been incredibly emotional, and incredibly overwhelming, so firstly, thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for making me so indescribably happy. Seeing people say that they felt safe watching this interview, and that it’s going to be a comfort video for them, actually brought me to tears on a number of occasions.

I wanted to respond to a few comments that I’ve seen. The questions were mostly devised by me and @alephai . When we were perfecting the questions and going over ways we could make them as respectful as possible, she suggested that we ask permission from Bojan before jumping into personal questions about his anxiety. I immediately agreed and I’m so glad we insisted on keeping it in, even as the questions went through several redrafts. We are both strong advocates of mental health acceptance, and I certainly understand on a personal level how challenging it can be to talk about. We wanted to make sure he had the opportunity to not talk about it, if he didn’t want to, and we were prepared for multiple scenarios.

We also decided right from the beginning that we didn’t want to put our own interpretations on the band. We wanted to frame the questions so they could answer anything they wanted to them, and make it clear that we’re not trying to sensationalise or find some kind of clickbaity quote. A looooot of thought, time and effort went into the questions and we think that the band could sense that there was a lot of love, respect, and genuine admiration for what they do in them. We’re really glad everyone else noticed it too!

We were also really mindful that the questions flowed neatly into one another - for instance, the questions about Bojan’s anxiety got steadily less personal and lighter so it would move smoothly into the questions about music. Again I’ve seen loads of comments about this and it’s so validating to see that the hard work put in was noticed.

We were extremely mindful of appropriate boundaries, and kept the knowledge that we’re ultimately strangers to them front and centre. The main goal on the day was to be as professional as possible. I’m genuinely so happy that they felt relaxed and comfortable enough to open up. I’m glad to say there was never a moment in the room where there was any tension, it truly felt like having a chat with friends! Afterwards, Bojan asked me if I were a professional journalist (which I am not) and it really made me incredibly happy. They are all absolutely sweethearts and some of the warmest, kindest people I’ve had the pleasure to spend an hour with.

The aftermath of the interview was one of the most intense weeks of my life and I have to shout out to every member of @jokeroutsubs who worked on this one. The dedication I saw from the subtitles, translators and video editors was insane. Lots of conversations at mad hours of the morning trying to get this out to the highest possible quality, and I am, as ever, bowled over by the JOS team. To say that joining up with them has been life changing is an absolute understatement, and I’m glad to say that through JOS I’ve met a series of women without whom I can no longer imagine my life. Strong, intelligent women from all over Europe who I now consider to be my sisters, and whom I love incredibly dearly.

I have to mention the message at the end of the interview. This was the product of many months of conversation about the impact of Joker Out on Slovene society between me and several members of the slo team, something that it’s been amazing to learn about from the perspective of an English girl, and we’re so glad we had an opportunity to tell them. Massive thank you again for all the voice notes I was sent to help me practice my pronunciation. I wanted to make sure it was as good as I could possibly manage to show my respect for the Slovenian people, language and culture.

Lastly I wanted to say thank you for all the messages I’ve received complimenting me on this interview. Credit in this case has to be shared between so many people. It was truly a team effort and I’m just so happy I could contribute in giving something back to a band I love and admire, and a community that embraced me with open arms during a difficult time in my life.

I love you all, and thank you all for your wonderful words. X

[atxxzist]

sweetest lies | c.s (01)

prologue // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x f!reader

word count: 3.6k

warning: nothing i can think of

you can't help but to be annoyed as you shove through the crowd, the blasting music and odors of party people something you were once familiar with, but now only serving as a reminder of the person you used to be.

you weren't gonna come, initially--stuck at your job until the evening and your boss incredibly hard to convince, having made sure to tell yunho beforehand there was a chance you weren't gonna make it.

but afterall, it is yunho, and you were most likely gonna do anything, promising your boss you'll work overtime tomorrow if you have to, if he just let you off this once.

it was the fastest you ever got ready, your hair barely done, makeups too light for your liking, and dress thrown on sloppily, but you still look good.

you know you still do by the amount of eyes and heads hurled your direction while you attempt to free from the overwhelming crowd, relieved to finally find a space where you can breathe even for a second.

you turn and sneak glances past many strangers' heads, hoping to catch at least someone you recognize and knows about yunho's whereabouts, considering the text you sent him fifteen minutes ago went completely unanswered.

something you always hated about parties, whether when you were still into them or not, was that you didn't know more than half of the people that showed up, and this one is no exception--despite being held by yunho at one of the smaller estates owned by his family, everyone either looks like rich kids living a double life or three years younger than you.

yunho usually isn't one for parties either, but he needed something different; something new from dinners and sweet smiles with his parents and people twice his age.

"fancy seeing you here," a voice from behind makes you snap around, finding hongjoong with a cup in his hand and something amusing in his eyes.

"thought you got too good for this kind of setting."

the roll of your eyes is apparent, and you don't bother to hide it.

"i'm not here to get high or whatever, i'm here for yunho."

"of course you are," he snides, the tone and attitude all the evidence that you're just wasting time talking to him, and that even after all these years, hongjoong still holds a little grudge for you.

you cross your arms, leaning to one side to show the impatience.

"so it will be nice if you just tell me where he is," you add.

hongjoong shrugs, taking a sip of his drink nonchalantly, speaking in a dull tone, "haven't seen or heard of him since i got here."

"why the hell do i even bother," you mutter under your breath, about to bring the search somewhere else when he speaks up again.

"why don't you ask the one person that would actually know where he is? or are you too good for that, too?"

you squint, confused, until he nods his head another direction and you follow, landing right into the view of the kitchen and to someone you know all too well just from the back.

his hands on some poor girl's waist and lips running along with hers as her grip tightened at his disheveled hair, his body pressing her forward onto the counter, the both of them making out like there won't be a tomorrow.

"no thanks," you dismiss, managing to reframe from an eyeroll, pushing past hongjoong but not before you catch the smirk on him.

you're only here for one thing, and the fact the place's already starting to become suffocating due to hongjoong's jabs alone, a run-in with san will just be one more reason to leave.

you persist through the smell of cigarettes lingering the hallways, couples making out, and people who's entirely not in their right minds, for the next ten minutes--by the time you realize yunho's still yet to reply, you're already upstairs and so sure he won't be in any of these bedrooms as well.

you love yunho, you really do. your heart full of respect and admiration for him, but something that always bothered you is his bouts of silence.

periodic times where he'd just disappear and wouldn't tell you the reasons why, except some quick assurances about the pointless need to worry about it.

you're sure sooner or later, he will make an appearance and you'll both go through the routine all over again, but it's getting a tad ridiculous having to look for him at his own party.

where exactly would a sophisticated and proper man like yunho who doesn't engage in any of the crazy party shenanigans be at?

not downstairs where mostly everyone is, neither is he in the hallways or any of the rooms upstairs, which leads you to the last option of having to look outside in the late november weather that pierces your skin, making you flinch from the cold breeze.

you're more so agitated by the uncomfortableness, the fit you have on not suited for the season at all because you thought you'd be spending most of the time in the house.

so busy being annoyed and bothered, you don't even comprehend it's the backyard you've found way to with a swingset at the corner, your attention finally pulled from the shivering at the sweet sounding feminine laughter.

nothing could've prepared you for what you're about to see.

your face drops immediately at the sight of yunho, who's able to habitually bring a smile out, but your expression stays cold, watching as the man you dedicated almost your entire life to loving, tuck a strand of hair behind someone else's ear, the giggle from her almost too familiar, you don't even want to believe it.

"yunho?" you let out, his name slipping before you can even register, your voice full of hurt and disbelief.

he shoots to the direction of the call, the lovesick expression turning into all kinds of panic and horror, realizing you've been standing there and probably saw everything.

everything he's been hiding, and things that if you had just given him a bit more time, he would've told you... eventually.

"what the fuck?" you continue, unable to read your own tone if it is said out of pain or anger, but you just know that whatever you're feeling right now is a mixture of both.

and just when you think it can't get any worse, your suspicion of the voice and frame turns out to be right as your sister turns head your direction, and if that's guilt in her eyes, you don't believe it.

she knows about your feelings for yunho, and if there's anything she shouldn't touch or mess with (amongst other things she already did), is getting inbetween you and him. yet, she still did.

still chose to get close to him and do whatever the fuck they just did right now.

it feels like every other instances where you lost to her, whether when your parents would flaunt her or when anyone else would ignore you in favor of her.

you wish to say the loss is new, but the only thing different about it is that it's yunho this time.

"y/n, i--"

"--can explain?" you finish for him, one eyebrow raised and anticipating of what kind of lies he'll come up with on the spot. "because it looks like you ignored me all this time because you were too busy with my own sister."

he opens his mouth to say something, but you already very clearly saw the scene for what it is, now backed against a wall with nothing left but the truth to say.

truth he doesn't get to tell because you're already turning your back on them with an unbelievable sigh, yunho knowing how you are and the tendency you have to avoid your problems. run from them and mask them under the pretense of something else.

you want him to come after you, apologize and show even the smallest of guilt that it was a mistake. choosing your sister was a mistake and something he would never do, especially because he knows how you feel about her.

but he doesn't. the only footsteps out in the night are yours heading back inside, and at the small call of his name by your sister, it breaks your heart how comfortable and perfect it sounds coming from her.

once again, you lost.

you can count on two fingers the crushes you've developed over your lifetime, the count stopping shortly when yunho came along--someone who's too perfect in every way, you wonder how someone else is gonna ever beat him, because it truly feels like you'll never get over him.

you were used to disappointment and regrets, but you've never experienced a heartbreak before. that soul crushing feeling almost like grief, going through all the stages of denial and anger, unfortunately still yet to come to acceptance.

that all this time, yunho is seeing your sister behind your back.

you can't even begin to think of how it happened, or the extents they went to in order to keep it from you.

that yunho of all people, the one person you thought could never hurt you, is the one causing you to go through the most painful betrayal right now.

because he knows you and knows that some of your biggest insecurities has to do with your sister.

after running off with yunho nowhere in the line of sight behind you, you wind up at a nearby bar, attempting to drown your sorrow the only way you knew how... by indulging in old addiction and habits.

though you've quit smoking, alcohol is still something you struggle trying to keep away from, a drink way too easier to give into, lying to yourself that it'd be just a few sips until suddenly, you're hazed in the mind and can barely recall where you're at.

but this time, you don't care how much you're drinking as long as it's numbing the ache in your heart.

the bartender's refusing to give any more given your state--head buried inside your arms as you groan into the bar counter with a few passersby lasering you weird looks from behind.

it's probably not very smart, out alone and mind not in the greatest state in such an environment where you could most likely get taken advantage of, so you stay somewhat alerted for that.

just in case anyone tries anything innapropriate, because you know all the tricks by now.

so when you feel a presence slowly taking up the space next to you, the plop as they sit down on the bar stool, your fight or flight is activated, picking your head up expecting to tell another guy to fuck off, only for your jaw to drop slightly at who it is.

"san?" you question, eyes squinting at the same time because you can't think of any reasons why he of all people is here.

if he saw what happened back there, then he's only here to make fun of you for it. insult you and take jabs because it's what he's best at.

san can't possibly give a shit about you.

"yeah?" he answers as he just stares you down, almost like he takes pity on your situation.

"why the fuck are you here? don't tell me you followed me."

"i followed you because i knew you'd do something stupid like this," he says, taking a $100 dollar bill out of his pocket and shoving it toward the bartender because you most likely haven't paid. "now get up."

his command is met by a series of protests, your other hand quickly trying to release the hold he has on your arm attempting to get your butt off the seat, but you're unfortunately not as stubborn and snappy under the influence, unable to hold your ground against a sober san.

your entire body falls forward immediately when on two feet, san catching you with his arms, pressing you against his chest as a smirk creeps onto the corner of his lips.

he knows where the lack of reaction is coming from, but he still can't help but to be smug, seeing you so powerless and weak when you were usually the opposite, opting for yelling about how you want nothing to do with him the normal.

he guides you by the small of your back, fingers on your bare skin that ignites something in him, and trying to exit the bar against your stubborn feet that won't move due to the sleepy state you've somewhat slipped into along the way.

"give me your car key," he says once at the parking lot, watching as you whine groggily while one of your hands dig at your purse in search for the key, passing it to him and almost dropping it in the process.

everything after that is a blur, more so than what already is, only recalling the bits of san settling you onto the passenger seat.

you wake up with a throbbing headache, able to tell right away it's from the drinks you had last night. but other than that, you can't remember anything.

how you got here and where you're at, the place completely unfamiliar, you don't think you've ever been here before.

"oh, good. you're awake."

but the recognizable voice snaps you to his figure sitting at a desk just right beside the bed and on his laptop. it's then that some recollection starts flooding back, all the overwhelming emotions trying to overtake each other.

hurt, betrayal, confusion, and anger.

yunho and your sister for the first half, and san for the other because you can slightly recall speaking to him at the bar before he did whatever he did.

"where the hell am i?" you ask, sitting up to glare at him and checking the room out once more. you suppose it's quite tidy and nice.

your outfit is the same but just slightly washed out and wrinkly, and if you had a mirror, you can already picture the smeared mascara running under your eyelashes.

"my condo," he replies casually, eyes refusing to move from the laptop.

a quick silence passes before a horrible thought comes over, blurting it out the instant it sinks on you.

"did we--"

but the sheer horror in your voice has san turning so fast just to cut you off with a "no", following by a deep, sarcastic chuckle.

"seriously, y/n. what kind of monster do you think i am?"

well, excuse you for assuming because he's given you every reasons to. every single encounter and run-ins, he never missed the chance to throw stupid innuendos about getting in bed with you.

"whatever," you dismiss, yanking the blanket off and scooting to the edge of the bed, making san raise an eyebrow in return.

"where are you going?"

"leaving," you hiss, at the same time pushing your feet into the heels that are found sprawled all over the floor and stealing a quick glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand that brings out a sigh.

"i'm already late for work and everything seems to be going to shit, so i don't need any of this right now."

san scoffs and you try to not let it bother you, finishing up the last bits of your heels before standing up, so close to leaving the room when he starts talking again.

"a thank you would be nice, you know."

he says it so casually but you know that he's hidden a smirk and satisfaction under all the pretense because he loves it when he has even the smallest of hold over you--whether when he's right or succeeded in convincing you to feel indebted.

"i didn't ask for you to take me home," you reply, arms crossed and turning around, something sharp and meaning to hurt in your delivery.

his attention is no longer on the screen of his laptop and has shifted to you completely, figure walking up to peer down with a look that might intimidate you if this isn't a scene that's already happened one too many times between the both of you.

"if i didn't, something could've happened to you. you were shitface drunk."

you smirk before blowing off the concern with a scoff.

"well maybe i prefer the alternative than to have come home with you."

during university days, all of yours and san's friends were so sure that all the squabbling and jabs at one another was just an outlet to release all the suppressed sexual tension.

though you will admit he's attractive--a fact you've seen him use to his advantage many times, there was simply nothing more to it other than the fact you couldn't stand him and still can't.

"ridiculous," he huffs under his breath, a rare instance of annoyance crossing his expression.

he enjoys bantering with you to some extent, often times intrigued by the outrageous things you'd say because it gets him off in some weird, messed up way.

but it's not fun anymore when you take it too seriously, and especially when he does something genuinely (which he doesn't often) and it still doesn't seem to faze you.

as if you've already built an image of him and refuses to change it no matter the depth he goes to--often times leading to a cycle, because he can get impatient and frustrated.

instead of snarking back, your voice actually drops to a much deliberate tone, the words not wanting to spill because it's still all too painful, but it does.

"if you followed me yesterday, then you most likely already knew what happened at the party and why i ended up at the bar. so if you will just let me leave in peace."

considering you promised your boss to make up for the time yesterday and still haven't even shown almost an hour into the shift, you'll be lucky if he lets you off with a warning.

but it doesn't look like san takes pity on your situation, something shifting in him as he stares at you with a gaze that makes you just slightly nervous.

he clears his throat.

"let me ask you something seriously," he says, taking a step forward that makes you swallow a lump. "did you actually believed that this entire time, yunho wasn't seeing anyone?" he ends it with a head tilt that conjures the lump back.

because you did. the entire time, you really fucking believed he wasn't seeing anyone.

"did you not ever questioned all the times he'd disappear or make excuses? and did you ever stop to think about the improbability that someone of his age never had any interactions with other women?"

the sinking realization is unlike anything you've ever experienced before, and if you thought seeing yunho with your sister back then was awful, this pain can almost kill you.

all this time, you were nothing but foolish and delusional.

san can see both the stages of denial and anger in your face, some tears threatening to get out but you manage to hold them back in. you don't like crying because the last thing you want to be seen as is weak. san knows that.

"if he was fucking other people, then why couldn't he just tell me himself?"

"because he didn't want to hurt you," he unveils, much to your stunned reaction. "he knew you'd lash out and act exactly the way you did when you saw them back at the party."

you can only blink in confusion, like all the information are new and unbelievable. the fact yunho really thought so low of you, one you're not sure how to feel.

but a fact more surprising and intriguing than that, is that the entire time... san knew.

"so you knew about him and my sister and whoever fuck else, but still chose to keep it from me? lie to my face and play along with your brother?"

“you followed me?”

“of course. i heard the conversation at the table. you know, if you’re going to get married off to my brother soon, we might as well get it over with; go into one of these rooms. we might not get the chance ever again. i’ll make it quick, and this will just be between you and me.”

san retracts from the sudden accusation that now all of a sudden, he's become the main culprit. he can't help but to feel some sort of way about it, opting for speaking his mind although it often ends up in destruction.

"it's not like we were ever on good terms and you would've listened to me. but i also don't owe you anything because you never see me in a good light anyways."

he always find himself being hot and cold with you. one second filled with regrets for the terrible things he'd say, then the next, he's spewing some more, and you just so happen to be the only other person just as horrible to say even worse things in return.

"but if i knew your girlfriend was fucking someone else behind your back, i sure would've told you," you spit, eyebrows pinched in the whole time.

"it's not my fault you couldn't get the hint that if yunho actually wanted to ask you out, he would've a long time ago."

san regrets it as soon as he finishes the sentence, but it consumes him completely when the anger on you is no longer but trails of hurt and sadness.

"i--"

"--fuck. you," you cut him off, not sparing another second before you're already out the door.

and if san thinks he saw what looks like a tear, he convinces himself it isn't, because you won't cry in front of him, and you definitely won't cry because of a comment he made.

but he did try to make things right the best he knew how; even then, it's never good enough in your eye.

next // series m.list

taglist: @freeandrealme @shingene @cookiechristie @softie00 @crimson-mia @hexheathen @lixpixstix @atinytease @turtash @moonseonghwa @kkayfan @curryramyeon @justineasian @mikaymee @chickendrum @yujispinkhair @sannie-pudding @itsokaytobedumb00 @nerdy-kimchi @fannyxmh @acciocriativity @mel-the-mad-hatter @eastleighsblog @diorwoo @devilsmatches @kyume02 @distvrbia @wonwowzers @endeav0rsb1tch @sannwa @brown88 @sangiluvem @eburneon @hotteokhatyu @yeosangsbiceps @sankatchu @lynnsqueendom @harusoraa @ad0rechuu @interweab @revehosh @byunniebaekhyunnie @nabi-sannie @gugggu6gvai @rockstarsanie @shakalakaboomboo @yeosangsbbg

[vladdyissues]

It's so cute that you uploaded some puffy, you're so kind 😭💞

But I have a question, why did they even block his account? How does Tumblr block an account? He didn't upload anything bad [?]

To the best of my knowledge—and I say this because I did not see every single one of Puffy's posts—Puffy did everything that Tumblr requires when it comes to posting "mature" artwork. She tagged her posts, used Community Labels, cropped and/or censored thumbnails, and made use of the "Read More" option. She was bolder than me when it came to posting certain art styles and speaking unabashedly, but that's a difference in personality. Puffy is a free spirit, incredibly witty, and absolutely hilarious. I'm old and crotchety and try to avoid drama if I can help it—not to say that Puffy in any way invited or deserved termination. She did not.

But she was no match for a targeted mass-reporting campaign. And, unfortunately, there's no way to know just how many people were involved or how much harassment she's been receiving since she joined Tumblr. I know there were at least three asks, likely more, and one rude comment left on one of her artworks early on.

But Tumblr has a poor track record when it comes to making decisions and meting out justice. They don't typically perform thorough investigations, they panic when they see certain words, and they're also prone to outrageous hypocrisy—like the fact that gifs of graphic, live-action porn somehow still manage to survive on this site after 10 years and a purge that cost the company a billion dollars in value, and how they claim to be "the queerest place on the internet" while simultaneously alienating and fostering a hostile environment for the queer artists who are largely responsible for Tumblr's success. Porn and spam bots run amok, but the blogs of marginalized people and artists are first on the chopping block.

I myself have had blogs deleted for lesser reasons. A couple years ago I created a "ship week" event blog, which was deleted simply because at one point in the TV show, one of the characters in the ship was a minor. The blog posted G-rated prompts. It was text-based with completely worksafe header graphics. It didn't endorse any age ranges, but left that up to the discrimination of the participants. The participants complied with Tumblr's TOS if they posted 18+ content, cropping images, using Community Labels and such. Everything adhered strictly to Tumblr's guidelines.

But I was the target for a lot of hatred from the rest of the fandom. They hated my guts because I shipped "the wrong ship"—because it was a gay ship, because it upset the canon heterosexual ship that one of the characters was in, because I wasn't sniveling in fear whenever they sent me hateful asks, because I refused to be bullied or shamed. They went after us because we were a tiny group of fans, easy to target and eradicate. Disgusting behavior, really.

I tried to appeal the deletion, but I never heard back from Tumblr. Fine. I moved the event to another platform (and it looked much better there, too), and that was that.

In short, Tumblr would rather delete a hundred innocent blogs out of fear of offending their ad sponsors rather than 1) investigate the claims made against the blog, or 2) give the blog owner a chance to delete the offending content.

One final thing:

Last month, around 17 June 2024, several Pompep fans on Tumblr received anywhere between 1-3 anonymous asks telling us to kill ourselves or "get raped".

Over cartoon characters.

It's a sad state of things when there's more sympathy, respect and agency given to drawings of fictional lines than living, breathing people.

[tmntkiseki]

Originally, I wasn't going to go public about this...

But I realized something yesterday: Suffering in silence is stupid. While it is true that there are a lot of horrible people on the internet, there are also a lot of incredibly kind people--people who may be complete strangers to you, but are more than willing to reach out a helping hand if you let them know that something is wrong, and I'm tired of pretending that everything is fine around here when it's not. So here we are.

The short version is this: Ever since I disabled anonymous asks back on the 6th of this month, I've been repeatedly stalked and harassed by an individual I've taken to calling Troll-san. Why Troll-san? Because I'm an older internet user, I've been active online since the mid-2000s, and that's what they are: a troll, and they've gone through so many URLs at this point that I have nothing better to call them.

Troll-san primarily harasses me through my ask box, but they've occasionally attempted to do what they've been doing through reblogs on my posts as well. I will give them credit where it's due because they've been incredibly persistent; every time I block one of their URLs, they proceed to delete and then remake it in order to circumvent the block feature and continue sending me more hateful messages. This also has the side effect of making reporting their behavior incredibly difficult, and that's assuming that Tumblr staff decides to even try doing something about this. (And I do not trust Tumblr staff at all.)

This is one of the only asks I made an effort to take a screencap of, sent not too long after I made my post on Friday regarding my recent ER visit, and let it be said that this is FAR from the worst message they've sent me. (They have, in fact, sent a couple of asks telling me to kill myself.)

So, at this point in their little harassment campaign, I can confirm a few key details about Troll-san.

This is indeed over the fact I disabled anonymous asks. I'm not particularly special for disabling them since so many Tumblr users do it, but presumably the reason Troll-san is so wound up over it is that if they're having a bad day and feel like being a dick someone (me), they can no longer send rude asks and avoid the consequences for it by using the anon feature. (In fact, that's the entire reason why so many Tumblr users disabled anons in the first place! Because people were abusing them to be assholes!)

I am definitely not their first victim. I did some digging around yesterday and can confirm that there is at least one other user who has also been harassed by Troll-san, and there are likely more people who may have/are dealing with the same person.

Even though Troll-san has been constantly deleting and remaking their URLs in order to bypass the block feature and continue their harassment, I am about 99% positive that their primary URL is grandangelkitty. It's one of the only URLs that they haven't deleted and remade at some point, and the other user who was harassed confirmed it was one of the URLs that they had to block. Whether it'll still exist by the time anyone reads this, I don't know, but I figured it was worth mentioning.

I realize that by acknowledging what's going on, I am potentially inviting yet more harassment and allowing this situation to drag out even longer than it needs to, but A) cyberbulling is never okay, and knowing I'm not the first person to be harassed by this particular individual makes me more angry than knowing I have to put up with it at all and B) I've never been afraid of Troll-san. They lost all my respect when they ignored my first block and I had pretty much lost my ability to take them seriously by the time they remade their URL for the fourth time. I just wish they'd learn their damn lesson already that no means no and that being horrible to strangers online is going to result in them making enemies rather than any friends.

I did finally reach out to a couple people online regarding this ongoing fiasco and while I won't be naming anyone specific; thank you all so, so much for your kindness and support. I was originally quite content to try and deal with this problem on my own, but I find so much comfort and renewed energy in knowing that I'm no longer alone and that there are people who do have my back. I'm not at all weak for having to ask for help; in fact, I'm all the stronger for it.

I am hoping that by finally acknowledging what I've had to endure for the last week that not only will I be helping to protect more users from this person, but that they'll finally get the message that this kind of behavior is not tolerated in this community. For anyone who has read this far, please, stay safe and I hope you have a good day!

P.S.

[puckpocketed]

you aren't being oppressed for liking Vegas, they are the champions from last year. Acting like its so hard to be a fan of them is fake af

yeah, okay. I'll bite. anon is off from now on though. privileges revoked <3

The most unwelcome I'd ever felt in my short time here on hockeyblr was when I expressed my initial interest in the vgk (i mean this in the vaguest sense, where I suddenly started to notice just how negative the opinions were about vegas and their fans - people here are almost always lovely and this is not to single out any particular person, group, team, or community).

After that, every time I've seen other people post about them in disgust/anger, whether on here or twitter, it's made it harder and harder to be in spaces I once quite enjoyed. And truthfully I don't care to interact with people who are that serious and that weird about their sports teams - I have curated my own experience heavily so that my circles only include people who can emotionally regulate themselves and aren't toxic/negative, so it's not like I've lost out on that much. but I did feel pretty bad in the moment! And you know what, pretty recently I had two separate conversations with vegas fans on here (one of them occurred like. an hour ago!) about how alienating and fucked up it is to enter spaces and be bullied about a team you like.

I've never asked anyone to censor themselves around me (the most I've ever done is asked for people to stop tagging things #vgk because it appears in our search results). I've never begrudged anyone their petty dislike. And I've never, ever gone to someone else's space and sent such an inflammatory message.

Here's my final answer: it's not hard to love my golden girls at all. they play great, fun, and (for the most part) honest hockey. they've taken the fewest penalties in the league two seasons in a row now. they work hard. they care about each other. they play in a way that makes things easier for their goalie. they have some incredible talents who are fun to watch. they have some very fun and compelling narratives. it is NOT their fault or their problem that their front office is the way that it is. loving the vegas golden knights is incredibly easy - it's people like you that makes loving them out loud uncomfortable and downright unpleasant.

if you are the same person as the last couple of vegas-related asks - it kind of sounds like you have some idea of me in your head that you need to fulfill. I mean this sincerely: get help, and please leave me alone. we are not friends. you do not know me. being this invested in someone else's opinion of a sports team isn't good. I don't care if we've had positive interactions in the past or if we've spoken at length or anything. you can't make me 'see the light' about this team, and if you're sticking around hoping I do then it's going to be a long wait.

[gazs-blue-hat]

Seeing isn't Everything I (D&D AU) Gaz X F!Reader (Medusa)

AN: Inspired by @halcyone-of-the-sea and their FANTASTIC mermaid au. This one is for you love. This whole thing takes place in the Forgotten Realms (Thanks BG3). You can find the stat block for the creature here

Summary: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick is a legendary monster hunter. He's brought down dragons and krakens alike. His services have been requested for a particularly dangerous job, perhaps the most dangerous one he has gone on yet. Hunting a Gorgon.

Word Count: 2,574

TW: Mentions of Death, Turning to Stone, fairy deals, (LMK if I missed any)

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO ANYBODY HERE OR ON ANOTHER SITE TO REPOST, COPY, TRANSLATE OR FEED MY WORK TO AN A.I OF ANY KIND.

Being a member of the Shattered Hand was an honor, it truly was! But Kyle "Gaz" Garrick was getting really tired of bandaging burns and stitching up wyvern bites. He had been a member of the illustrious monster slaying guild for ten years now and he had quickly risen up the ranks, making a name for himself as one of the best monster hunters out there.

People far and wide came to bring contracts to his desk in the illustrious guild hall. It had been four weeks since he had seen a decent contract cross the dragon leather desk in his office. All he had received were a couple of contracts for various beasts and large creatures. The most interesting one had been a doppelganger but one of his collogues had taken that contract before he could.

'Why does Ghost get all the interesting ones' He grumbled to himself

Kyle looked at his armor that stood on the stand that hugged the corner of the room. It had been too long since he had sinched the leather straps around his forearms and felt the comfortable weight of his chainmail hugging his form. His sword hung above the door and he couldn't help but frown at the incredible shine on the silver surface. Swords were meant to be used! Not displayed. His sword should be covered in the blood of monsters that hurt the innocent, not hanging above his door.

He groaned and lay his head atop his crossed forearms. The business day was almost closing and there had been nothing promising. Some farmers had come to him asking to take care of a Gnoll den, but he had transferred them to a young hunter who needed a relatively easy job. One of the townspeople swore up and down he had been cursed by a hag, but Kyle had sent him to the local cleric instead.

He was just about to stomp downstairs and order some ale before he heard a soft knock at his door. He sat his head up and fixed his posture.

"Enter!" he called as he straightened his tunic. The large oak door creaked open and a rather finely dressed gentleman entered the room. He wore a nice hat made of expensive leather and a suit made from brilliant cloth that only came from the silk of a dryder. This man had money and he wasn't afraid to flaunt it

"Hello, I'm looking for a master 'Gaz'?" he said in a regal tone. Kyle examined this man as he walked into his office. He instantly knew he didn't like him. Kyle had always prided himself on his ability to read other people and this man absolutely reeked of self-importance.

"Yes, that's me. Do have a seat, sir." Kyle said while gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. usually, he would stand and pull it out for whoever was talking to him, but something about this man put him off.

The man paused, waiting for him to pull the chair out, and frowned when he didn't. The man took his seat and removed his hat, placing it on his lap.

"I've been told you're the best hunter around." He started. Kyle had to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes.

"One of them, yes. What can I do for you, mister..."

"Szordrin. Master, Szordrin." The man corrected. Gaz felt his lip start to curl but he stopped himself. Unlike Ghost, he didn't wear a mask to conceal his face. This man was making Kyle consider getting one, just for the sake of not having to hide his facial expressions.

"Yes, master Szordin. What can I do for you?" he asked politely. The man nodded, pleased with the 'change' in attitude from Gaz.

"I have a...problem that I believe meets your specific skill set." He began, sliding a scrolled piece of paper onto the desk. The runes on the dusk hummed to life as they scanned the paper for magic.

The contract was just that, a contract. Since the founder and proprietor of the Shattered Hand mercenary guild was a powerful Eladrin, all of the contracts that were taken up by the guild were magical in nature. The contracts were binding and it was incredibly hard to get out of one without appealing to the guild master himself.

Dark purple and green runes hovered over the paper before settling back down and depicting the target. The runes were a scrying spell, locked onto the target's soul. It helped the hunters find their quarry without too much fuss. The monster didn't quite look like a monster at first. It looked like a young woman.

She was sitting in a pool of water, trying to catch little froglets that had strayed too far from the main water source.

"Master Szordrin, I am sure you're well aware of the rules this guild has. We do not hunt humanoid creatures unless they have actively caused harm. We hunt beasts, devils, fey, and fiends. Not..." his sentence was cut off when the woman turned and her face was visible.

Her eyes were shielded by a silky black fabric and, her hair was made up of coiling, writhing snakes. She was also absolutely gorgeous. She smiled softly as she pressed her nose against a froglet's back, helping it to jump into the water once more. 

'A medusa that covers their face? Never seen one of those before.' he thought as he looked on at the page.

"You see my predicament now, master hunter," Szordrin said, gesturing to the woman on the piece of paper. Gaz sat back and nodded, intrigued at the prospect of one of the most vain creatures in the realms hiding their face.

"Yes, I do. How many people has she turned to stone?" he asked, setting a magical quill on the contract to write the terms of his mission. Szordrin shuffled a bit, uncomfortable.

"None yet, but she will. Trust me, she will." He assured. Gaz felt a tingle in his spine. There was more that this man wasn't telling him.

"Alright...that doesn't quite fit in with the terms of engagement but I'm sure Master Price has spoken to you about this?" Kyle asked. Szordrin nodded, holding his hat tightly now.

"Yes, Your guild master has made things quite clear. You are not to attack unless provoked or have reason to suspect she may be a danger. I am aware. I don't want her dead exactly, just...relocated." The man amended. Gaz felt better after this statement.

Relocation, he could do.

"Alright, you want this creature relocated to..." Gaz said, waiting for the man to continue before writing it down.

"Just, far away from me and my estate. She's currently outside Wheetleton, where I reside. I want her as far as Mortaris or perhaps even further." The man said, pointing at areas on the world map. Gaz frowned. That was at least a six-week journey from Wheetleton to Mortaris.

"Alright, relocated to Mortaris unless deemed an active threat," Gaz stated, watching as the magical quill scrawled the words in sylvan. All of the contracts of the Shattered Hand were written in the fey language.

"I will pay half up front and once the deed is done, the rest," Szordrin said while placing a hefty bag of gold on Gaz's desk.

"2,000 gold pieces now and another 3,000 when the job is done." Szordrin continued. Gaz nodded, this was an acceptable sum.

"Alright, I'll take the job." He said while pricking his thumb with a pin and placing his fingerprint on the line. The blood acted as ink and seeped into the paper, sealing his part of the contract. He extended his hand for Szordrin's.

"You know the rules. You must sign the contract in blood for the deal to be struck." Kyle said, frustration starting to leak into his words. He wanted to get on the road and find this creature for himself!

Szordrin shakily extended his hand for Kyle to prick. As Kyle lifted the pin he noticed a faint red scar going across the man's palm. Curious

Without delay, he pricked Szordrin's thumb and pressed the print onto the contract. The paper sizzled and cracked with arcane energy as it was infused with magic. Kyle felt a familiar dull weight rest in his chest. The weight of a bargain struck. He smiled to himself, relishing in the idea of a hunt again.

Once the deal was made, Szordrin scampered out of Kyle's office and back down to the tavern below. Kyle shrugged and looked over the contract again. He could dismiss it and summon it at will, now that he was bound to it. The woman's face was still on the paper, smiling gently as she held a lily pad. Her blindfold was off now as she looked at the plant, opening the petals with a delicate finger.

"The curse of beauty. Poor thing, let us hope you don't turn anybody to stone until I get to you yeah?" He mumbled. As if she could hear him, she looked in the direction of the scrying spell. Her eyes were a bright golden color with no pupil or iris. Just a brilliant golden hue that shone in the darkness. Kyle felt another shiver run up his spine and a secondary weight rest on his shoulders.

This weight felt different, more...personal than the contract had been. He had only heard rumors of this feeling. The weight of fate's hands on one's shoulders.

He dismissed the contract and made his way to his armor and sword. He decided that he would leave right away, making the two-day journey to Wheetleton as quickly as he could. If he had any hopes of saving this creature, he had to get there quickly and relocate it to a place where it wouldn't hurt anybody.

As he strapped on his armor, he couldn't help but smile widely. He was on the hunt again, where he belonged.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two-day ride to Wheetleton was boring, to say the least. He had gathered his supplies and left that very night, riding through the dawn and only stopping to eat and relieve his horse for a while. Once he got to the city, he asked around about the creature.

The townspeople didn't have much to tell them, only that they thought the beast had stolen the local Lord's daughter one night. It wasn't until this third day in town that he got a solid lead.

"Goblins! Goblins up the mountain pass!" The traveler had cried. Gaz knew they weren't part of his contract but he wasted to keep this area safe. He trekked up the mountain pass, the climb being somewhat difficult in his armor. Once night fell, he could see firelight illuminating the area inside the mouth of a cave. The weight from the contract in his chest pulsed faintly. His quarry was close.

"We've had nothing but pork for five stinking weeks! When are we going to eat something good?" A harsh voice grumbled from the fire. There was a good number of goblins sitting around the bonfire, about fifteen or so. A large goblin wearing a makeshift crown sat on a log, above the fire, holding a large silver candlestick.

"You'll eat whenever something good comes along! Now quit your yapping! I think I 'eard something." The goblin 'king' said while gesturing over in Gaz's direction. Gaz readied his bow, stringing it as quietly as he could and knocking an arrow. A group of four goblins came over to look but they didn't spot him.

The goblin king mumbled something under his breath as his goons came back to the fire, grumbling about the fact that they were hungry. Gaz was about to let an arrow fly before a soft voice called to the goblins in the dark.

"Hello? Is someone out there?" A feminine voice called from deep within the cave.

"Wha'? Who said that?" The goblin king shouted, hopping off his log throne and looking deeper into the cave. Gaz felt the magic of the contract pull and thump in his chest. His quarry, she was right there. he could see her faintly glowing eyes behind the blindfold she wore. The two golden dots amid a sea of black silk.

"It was...was me. I suggest you all leave before someone comes up here." She warned. She wore a simple dress, a nightgown really. It looked dirtied a bit but was well taken care of. Her hands were clasped in front of her and her feet were bare.

Gaz couldn't help but gasp a bit. He had seen pictures and paintings of angels and celestial beings that roamed the upper planes but this creature was absolutely stunning.

At his intake of breath, one of the goblins loosed an arrow that struck him in the arm. Luckily his armor had taken most of the damage but since it hadn't been used in a while, the rings were loose and allowed some give. Kyle felt the tip of the arrow pierce his shoulder and he grunted in pain.

"Oi! You there! In the shadows!" The goblin king shouted, directing his force to attack. Kyle drew his bow up but struggled to pull the string back. He cursed his luck. The goblins had dipped the arrows in a paralytic!

He drew his short sword instead and began his attack on the goblins. He defended himself well, only getting a few knicks and scratches here and there. As he was facing off the last goblin, he heard a sharp noise behind him. A crossbow being bolted.

"Shield your eyes!" The woman called as she removed her blindfold. Piercing golden light filled the area and Kyle slammed his eyes shut as fast as he could, feeling the coldness of her magic wash over him. The goblin he was fighting, and the one that had loaded the crossbow clunked to the ground, made completely of stone.

Kyle panted and knelt on the ground, feeling the poison slowly start to spread. He was going to pass out, that much was certain, but he never would have guessed what happened next.

Instead of a blade piercing his heart, or a sharp prick of fangs on his neck, he felt cool hands on his shoulders.

"Oh my Gods, they got you pretty good. Let me just..." It was the woman, the Medusa he had been sent to kill. She hoisted him up as best she could, dragging him deeper into the mouth of the cave. he heard the sound of a running waterfall as well as the chirps of young frogs.

"Leave him be! Can't you see he's hurt!" The woman scolded. The frogs went silent and Kyle felt her taking off his armor. He didn't dare open his eyes and he physically couldn't move to resist. Was this how he died? Because of a stupid goblin arrow leaving him vulnerable?

"Don't worry. The water will heal you right up." The woman assured. Kyle felt water beginning to surround him, and instead of feeling the fear of drowning, he felt nothing but peace. The water was shockingly warm and he felt like he could breathe easier.

"Sleep now, I'll make sure you stay right here."

The woman's voice was distant now as Kyle felt his consciousness begin to fade. he was tired, so he should sleep. He was safe here, no reason to fear.

No reason at all.

taglist: @plumteaa-remus

(here's what a DnD medusa usually looks like)

[thislovintime]

Peter Tork and June Millington (one of the founders of the rock group Fanny), 2012.

Janis Ian and June Millington on Peter...

“In mourning for Peter Tork, one of the kindest people I’ve ever known, who was so gracious and so good to me when I was starting out. It’s testimony to the man that his family asks donations to be made to Institute for the Musical Arts, founded by June Millington and Ann Hackler to support women and girls in music. Lovely man, and a sad day to know he’s gone.” - Janis Ian, Facebook, February 22, 2019

“Thank you Peter Tork and family for your incredibly powerful gesture in suggesting that people make a donation to IMA’s ‘In the Names of Our Mothers’ fund, in support women and girls in music. Especially in these times, so meaningful ~ you will be remembered here for generations! Thing is, you’ve been such a good friend to me (us) over the years, and continue to give. That is a true testament to your soul, and your spirit. Love you always, xx June” - June Millington, Facebook, February 23, 2019

“I met him [Peter] here in Massachusetts through our really great friend Leah Kunkel. […] And they were really good friends since Peter and John Sebastian and Leah, Mama Cass… were in the Village […] And Peter did a benefit for us once […], for IMA. […] And he did record here as well. […] Peter was here a few months before he died, he came to actually record that last song that he put out with The Monkees [‘Angels We Have Heard On High,’ from Christmas Party; the instrumental track, featuring Peter on banjo, was originally from A Beachwood Christmas, 2003]. […] I wish I could have recorded him for my podcast because he told me a few stories which I love so much. [...] He played a great piano, which I didn’t know until the last time he was here. He swung by the piano and he — even though he was sick and he didn’t have much energy — he sat down and he played some brilliant classical piece. I’m like, ‘Peter, I didn’t know you played the piano!’ And he said, ‘Oh. Yeah.’ And I said, ‘How did that come about?’ He said, ‘Oh, I took lessons.’ So his parents definitely wanted him to be, shall we say, cultured, and have… you know, to play piano, the have a college degree and all of that. […] He was such a smart guy, he was so funny, he was so funny, he would be quipping all the time, you know. And it was, the last couple of years were a little bit of a slog for him because the cancer was coming back and it was really trying to get him. But he — he kept his humor intact the whole time. He was really a very generous, and he was a super-funny guy. That’s my biggest impression of him, is how giving he was. And he wanted to support IMA, the Institute for the Musical Arts, which is a nonprofit that supports women and girls in music by passing on what we know. So we do rock ‘n’ roll girls camp […], lessons — everything is being passed on to future generations. So it’s the only organization of its kind in the world where we are really hands on passing it on. And he just loved that. Like, he sent his daughter here — his wife had, you know, had a daughter, so they sent her here to one of our rock ‘n’ roll girl camps. So he put his money and his time where his mouth was, you know. […] So he was always trying to think of ways that he could help. He recorded here. You know, as I said, he was super-generous. He had a heart of gold, I gotta say. Super heart of gold. And he and Leah remained really good friends, really good friends until, you know, the last days. […] He was so smart. He was on top of current affairs, you know; he had so many jokes at the top of his fingers. […] He was a super-talented guy. […] Go to IMA dot org to take a look at this place. Peter realized the value. He loved passing it on. And he loved being around women and working with women, there’s no, you know (laughs), there’s no other way I could say it: he loved women. And he wanted to help, you know. And he let us know that, boy, he wanted to help and he did help.” - Plastic EP, 2021

[cogentranting]

Hi, I don't know you and you don't know me. But I discovered your blog through the rating animated horses posts (all of your ratings are perfect btw) and scrolled through out of curiosity. I am a gay trans man and have had some unpleasant experiences with Christians in the past. I know not all Christians are as cruel as they were, but it's easier to believe it when I witness it. I know this is a strange ask but I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You seem like a kind individual who would treat my community like real people. I don't know what your views on us are, but I'm certain you would treat us like anyone else. Thank you for being kind in this terrifying world ♥♥♥

Hi. Thank you so much for this. It means a lot to me to hear you say this.

I do believe very differently than you about matters of gender and sexuality. I have theologically conservative, orthodox Christian beliefs about those things. In short, that sex should be within marriage, which is between a man and a woman; and that there are two genders which are fixed and in line with our biology. That's maybe not the best expression of it, but I'm not trying to lecture you or preach at you or anything, I'm just trying to be clear so that it doesn't come across that I'm either trying to deceive anyone or hiding my beliefs. And I'm figuring that you know the general gist of it. But if you (or anyone else) wants to know more about what I believe on that and why, I can certainly talk about it.

I've gone back and forth the last couple days since you sent this, over what to say and how much to say. Because I really do care. i care very deeply. I've had a fair number of students who identify as gay or trans or nonbinary, and whenever anything comes up related to these issues they are the ones that I think about. Their names, their faces, their stories. And I worry about them, and I hope that they're safe, and happy and taken care of. And when I disagree with them about things like the concept of gender, it's because I truly, deeply believe that they are the ones being harmed by those ideas and that kills me.

I have a lot of strong feelings about the transgender movement and ideology (for lack of a better term) because I really believe that it's doing a lot of very real harm (spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical) to people who are vulnerable and struggling and who are just trying to figure out how to fit in and how to be themselves and all of that. People like my students and (without making any assumptions about you or your situation) you.

I think there's far too much assumption of ill will on both sides. I think that most people who share your beliefs and ideology really are trying their best to help people be safe and happy. And I think that most people who share mine (who truly share mine, and not some twisted version, because I'd say there's also a false dichotomy that makes it into two different positions and not a wide range of people believing a wide range of things)-- that most people who share mine also want those same people to be safe and happy.

I do also know that there are far too many Christians and people who call themselves Christians, who respond with anger and mockery and cruelty (or are even just well-meaning but incautious and insensitive). And I'm sorry that you've had to deal with that, and I hope that your experiences in the future are better.

I'll be praying that you are safe and taken care of, and that you will get to see God's love in a way that the Christians you've known in the past have failed to represent to you.

I hope that I haven't said anything to sound unkind or judgmental or like I'm lecturing you, and if I did I'm sorry because that was not my intention. Thank you again for your incredibly kind words, and I'm glad I was able to make you smile with some ridiculous horse jokes. Happy New Year.

[lizzybeth1986]

Tagging @choicesfandomappreciation for Day 3 of Choices Spread Kindness Event!

(Again...REALLY sorry for the lateness of this post!!)

I'm a huge huge fan of fanart...often art was what used to draw me the quickest to a book or character and make me more eager to play it! It was also a great way - like fanfic but differently - to incorporate things you wouldn't find so easily in canon. Here are some of my favourite artists!!

@sazanes - She is not only an incredible artist - she is also a ball of enthusiasm and great talent!! We first met when she sent me Hayden-focused asks after finding out we were both Hayden stans 😄 Her art is absolutely gorgeous and packed with so much fine detail. I still remember being amazed by her while running my first Hayden Young Appreciation Week - not only did she make an art piece for every day...she also ensured that if the character was customisable, she did an art piece each for each face (she did this both for Hayden and Liam). And given that some of those faces have less representation even though they're among the best faces (esp bl!Haydens and bl!Liam) I truly, truly appreciate her commitment to representing them. My favourite art work of hers is this beautiful poster of all the Haydens in kimonos, this beautiful picture of kid!Sloane and Kim, Liam helping the Heir plant her tree, Hana with a teasing mile and her signature hot chocolate, and of course this recent one of Kiara experiencing intense secondhand embarrassment 😄

@cassiopeiacorvus - There's an incredible style, attitude and verve about her work. She's done a depiction of every MC she's created thus far and I find them amazing coz she draws them with a body diversity that you won't often find in canon. Some of my favourite artworks of hers include a drawing of Xanthe and the ACoR MC in their "sexy red outfits", a reworking of Kiara's Costume Gala outfit (which is, btw, FAR BETTER than anything PB came up with for her), Jax and Lily with the BB MC and Leah and LH MC being a "black power couple" as Cassi put it 🤗

@toyhenoctus - I absolutely love their cute and vibrant comics, with cheeky and vibrant characters. Whether it's the gun-toting Siobhan or Effie who wants to declare her love for Aurora Emery to the world, it's always a treat to read them!!

@ohmyblues - She was a recent find, and I absolutely loved her Hana drawings! The first one I saw of hers featured Hana by the Valtoria lake, during the lantern festival, and the use of colours was so unbelievable and Hana looked so enigmatic in the picture. But I think my absolute favourite so far was the one they made of Hana at the piano. The texturing of the silver dress was so detailed and sublime, and her expression of being lost in the music was blissful to see.

@shazrystyles - Shaz is an absolute treasure! I've always loved her work but got to meet her personally when a friend bought a commission from her for me as a gift. Her artwork is so soft and delicate and so fun and fresh at the same time. My absolute favourites include this compilation of Hayden Young sketches, this supercute sketch of Zig performing ballet, this amazing one of Liam as a fencer and here is Hana and her MC on their wedding day 🥹

@burnwoods - Their art and style is so beautiful and interesting, and honestly they depict the characters in such a gorgeous, realistic way. I love the watercolor, stepped-right-out-of-a-painting quality of their work. My favourite was one of the entire cast of TRR/H, a picture of Rafael and the OH MC hugging and looking like the giddy reunited lovers that they are, and this cute picture of the entire ITB crew!

@they-callme-ami - Just the fact that they do such incredible art of black characters brings me so much joy 🥰🥰🥰 Here's their awesome commission page! I'm new to their art so I'm really excited to reblog them and have more people see them!!

@ellezelindraws - I absolutely love their drawings of Hana Lee (personal favourite is the one of Hana in a pink cheongsam) and their lovely cartoons of Hana and the MC as a married couple (like this one of the MC dreaming Hana might be bald, Hana gazing admiringly at a sleeping MC, and goth!Hana). They've done some other incredible art of wlw in particular as well, like Sabina, Annabelle, Ava and Kamilah. I can't wait to see more of their art!!

@danniseyebrows - They make incredible art of a lot of characters but the ones I am most familiar with are her TRR MCs (she has one each for each LI!) My favourite of the lot is her Hana MC Valerie, and one of my most enduringly favourite works of theirs is a depiction of the MC reacting to the dress that Hana made for her (in Shanghai) in a way that truly acknowledges these women as being in love with each other 💗

If any of their commissions are open, please do check them out and consider commissioning art from them...you definitely won't be disappointed!

[thedreadvampy]

Scuse me doing a vent

The situation is thus:

My partner's partner has recently ended a very messy and toxic relationship. both they and their ex were hot messes in the most unhelpfully complementary way and they sent each other into an increasingly toxic spiral - the ex was clingy, paranoid and overbearing and the partner's partner was frequently cold, unkind, belittling and downright nasty to and about them. they broke up and got back together over and over again even though it was incredibly clear that they were making each other miserable.

there was some moderate messiness around the breakup. before the breakup I had sat down with the ex (who I don't know outside this) and encouraged them to end the relationship and let it go instead of continually pressuring their partner to keep taking them back when it was making them both so unhappy. I was real mad about it too bc honestly while I totally understood the partner's reactions bc I too have very much dealt with the kind of emotional black hole of person-in-perpetual-crisis that the ex is, I thought they were being consistently really shitty to the ex and I told the ex that. the next day the ex broke up with the partner and there was a whole big 3 day drama I got sucked into about the partner trying to delete the ex from my life, which I was like OK MAN THAT'S NOT YOUR DECISION. we've since worked it out - emotions were high and I was triggered as fuck and all told it was a mess. but they did break up permanently. which is good.

fast forward a couple of months to last week. my partner and their partner have been organising an antitransphobia movement space for the last few months. the ex feels that they're being unfairly excluded from participating in that movement space.

the ex started messaging me last week asking if I wanted to get a coffee and catch up. the same day, I hear from my partner and from my best friend (who is very close to my partner and their partner) that they've been constantly talking about the breakup in the organising discord server, that it's escalating to accusations of abuse and maybe to demands that the partner be removed from the space, and that other people have started weighing in. both my friend and my partner are a wreck, particularly my friend cause this is like the 3rd time an organising group they've been in has come catastrophically apart at the seams when interpersonal drama ends up exploding into a bunch of triggering public litigation. my partner is trying to calm the situation down and act as a point of contact between the ex and their partner, but they were also already really annoyed with the ex for largely unrelated reasons AND they're worried about their partner spiraling out so they're struggling hard.

I'm worried about my friend and my partner, but I'm also not fucking in this conversation - I'm not on the discord, I don't think me weighing in would help anyone, and tbh my opinion on the original situation is: as far as I can tell neither of them were abusive in the sense of an unbalanced power situation; they were both pretty vile to each other throughout the relationship; it was a Bad Idea relationship that made both of them their worst selves; from out here it seems pretty clear that the best thing either of them could do for themselves is stay the fuck out of each other's way as much as possible, and I know that's easier said than done but the ex seems very actively opposed to even TRYING to not be in constant contact with the partner and that's a great way to erode any sympathy I have here, frankly.

anyway as I say I was quite happy to Not Be Involved

uhhhhh so the ex messaged me today to bitch about how my partner is being So Rude To Them in all this? we haven't like. spoken. other than them asking me if I wanted to catch up.

I blew up a bit tbh I was like hey man. I'm not fucking involved and I don't want to be but wild that you would open with complaining about my partner as if I'm likely to agree? also maybe idk consider that emotions are running high and given that you rightly expect that people will give you some grace for being Brain Problems and upset, maybe grant the same grace to other people?

they've just messaged me back actually post cancelled I'm not reading that goodnight

anyway I'm having a whole Second Hand Drama Time this week and I'm not going to let myself get dragged all the way back into it bc the last blowup when they broke up had me fucked up for like 2 weeks, it's very Ungood for me from a trauma perspective to get pulled into this specific flavour of drama

but also like. this is my confessional bit cause I know it's not a worthy thought. man I have sucked it up and played nice and removed myself from MULTIPLE spaces I wanted to be in to avoid starting shit with people who have behaved much more directly violently to me than the partner appears to have with the ex (mostly their crime, and as I say I fully agree that they were out of line, is being a bit of a dick to the ex, giving them the cold shoulder, and sometimes abruptly asking them to go home). and it's the same feeling I get whenever other people's interpersonal drama becomes this massive all-encompassing Thing I'm just like jesus fuck pull it together. suck it up and get out of the way of people who you know you can't be around. because at this point it just feels like you want to hurt them and don't mind hurting yourself in the process and I just do not have patience for that, especially when doing that is also throwing a massive spanner in the works of both a very urgent political organising space and a bunch of other people's fucking lives.

like I very much believe that we should take accusations of abuse seriously but I would say if I personally felt unsafe around someone what I wouldn't do is try to elbow my way into a group they just started and complain about not being let in. I would probably. go find a different organising space that wasn't run by someone I didn't want to be around. if I felt they were a danger to others I might talk to people in that group privately but like. why are you getting mad that you can't go to places the person you're beefing with is in? why are you mad that they won't answer your messages? why are you waiting for them to validate you? fucking hell man cut yourself loose.

[ragnarlothcat]

👐, 💋, 💫 , 🍭, 🎈

Thank you for so many!!! 💙💙💙 (for this ask game)

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

I mentioned the personal and creative fulfillment in the previous ask but the other thing is the community and immediate gratification of fic writing. I do write original fiction too and I miss the feedback I get when I post a new chapter in a fic. It's hard finishing something up without getting to hear people's favourite silly little joke, you know? I'm weak!!!

💋 when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Hmm I don't feel especially strongly one way or another 🤔 If I've asked a question then I suppose I like getting an answer. And there have been a couple of times I've left an author multiple comments and not gotten responses and I do slightly worry that it's because they hate me and want me to stop commenting but I recognize that my reaction is ridiculous and entirely in my head. In general I'm fine either way and if an author isn't replying because they're busy and/or overwhelmed I get it and I would never want to add any pressure to them!

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

It's probably a cop-out but I really do like most of them! Yeah the in-depth comments with theories and notes on characterization and stuff are incredible (and I am hugging everyone who has ever sent one of those) but I do enjoy the simple heart emojis or "kudos!" comments too.

I guess the only things I don't like are impatient demands for an update (believe me, I promise I feel bad enough about my WIPs already) or when people are very critical of a character or call them stupid in a non-affectionate way. Most of the time the vibe is "they're stupid because the pining is so obviously mutual!!!" but in a fun way because we know we're reading an idiots to lovers fic so obviously the pining is mutual but sometimes the tone is off or something and it feels like a criticism of my characterization because Obi-Wan is not that stupid in canon so why am I writing him like that? Idk, even when my characters are doing something dumb I want their actions to seem rational to them and it makes me worry I'm not accomplishing that. I'm probably being too sensitive but those comments do make me overthink (even more than usual).

🍭 why did you start writing?

It's a bit silly in retrospect but I started writing obikin specifically because I'd been reading fics for a couple months (and loving them!) but it seemed to me that a lot of fics were about how handsome and amazing Obi-Wan is and there were fewer talking up Anakin. Which I do get a) because Anakin goes on multiple killing sprees and helps run a fascist dictatorship for 20 years and b) it's harder to write Obi-Wan pining over Anakin because of the power imbalance between them. Even I struggled with it when I wrote my one master/padawan fic and I made it extremely clear that Anakin had been in love with Obi-Wan for ages already.

But the first obikin fic I ever wrote was a 5+1 that could be summarized as "everyone thinks Anakin is extremely charming and pretty" and honestly I've never really strayed from that. I like to think there's more going on but whenever I write from Obi-Wan's POV I tend to go a bit overboard with the immediate attraction. In my defence Anakin is very cute.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

I'd say: not very poetic, lots of dialogue (I write dialogue first and fill in the gaps afterwards) and heavy on the POV character's internal monologue. I often struggle to describe what characters are doing and then I start making everyone shrug constantly to compensate. If I didn't find first person POV kind of annoying it would probably be a natural fit for my writing. I try to change things up occasionally especially if I'm writing in a different genre than usual but I feel like my style is still pretty consistent. But I could be wrong!

[bellewintersroe]

This is for a ship!

I've asked my bf to describe me;

My boyfriend asked me to describe him....

Did i go overboard? Definitely.

He is the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. He is incredibly short and has such gentle eyes that makes my heart stop whenever I look into them. His laugh is very contagious and when he laughs too hard he goes semi silent with little giggle-like noises in between the moments of silent laughing. That or its strained laughing from needing to breathe. He is compassionate and understanding. He will hold me memtally when I'm upset and wait for me to say what's wrong when I'm ready.

His whole personality is gentle and yet powerful in the way that he captivates others.

That little wisp of a smile that he doesn't know anyone notices. When i do something stupid on call he stares at the camera dissappointingly as a joke. I like how his ginger hair curves around his cheek. How his eyebrows jump whenever he hears something concerning or is confused. His eyes are blue and extremely beautiful how his eyes are always exploring. He has got so many beautiful, little memories weaving their own little tapestry in that gorgeous head of his. He is a bit afraid to admit being afraid, i think so atleast. Which he doesn't have to be, he is considerate and peaceful and gentle and kind.

Hes got little scars all on his hands and arms from either being a dumbass or his puppy. He is passionate about so much and has no limit when it comes to interests.

Hes always learning, everyday he has something new to tell me. He takes video games seriously like its real life and its so cute how he keeps telling me to focus cause im off dancing on Normandy when we play the D-Day roblox game.

He is so passionate about others and always wants to help in any way possible even if he can't voice that. He isn't one to send paragraphs of love to somebody, he shows his love in other ways. Other people won't get it but just know I do.

He is one of the most selfless people I have ever met. He can brighten any room by just being in it. His smile and humor is contagious. He is my rock, my constant in a world of every changing chaos. In him, I have found my best friend, the one who constantly makes me want to strive to be a better person.

So yeah. Idk what to finish this with but I love you Eugene<3

hey, thank you for your request I absolutely love the detail on this and I adore that your boyfriend wrote this for you- how beautiful omg!!!

ps- there’s no such thing as overboard I loveeeee the detail smmm &lt;3

I ship you with… Shifty Powers!!

Firstly the two of you would be such a beautiful couple omg. We all know how beautiful Shifty is. I feel like your ginger hair and his dark hair would just look so adorable together?

The fact you have such gentle eyes is what soothes Shifty, like it makes him feel comfortable enough to come speak to you and he’s such a little love bird he’d gaze into them all day if he could.

I feel like it’s your laughter that would pull Shifty in, like he’d find himself smiling at something you were humoured by and slowly the shy chatter would start from there? when the two of you are fully together your laughter is something that will bring him joy in his darkest times.

the two of your gentle personalities makes you so perfect together. Like Shifty would be un doubtfully loyal to you and so unapologetically in love with you?

seriously he thinks you’re an Angel sent just for him.

often questions how he got somebody as good as you??

Seriously if you just hold him whilst you’re in bed he can’t get enough of it or you. He needs that skin to skin contact and your compassion is something that melts his heart okay.

it gives him such tranquil energy, seriously, he feels most at peace when he’s at home with you, and the first time the two of you kissed (after many many nervous attempts from Shifty) it’s so perfect, he feels like he could cry??

falls in love pretty quickly omg people (including myself) are so jealous of you.

your curiosity and endless memories is something he finds adorable. He often just asks you to tell him stories, if he’s had a bad day he’s sooo intrigued in hearing about a happy memory you have.

it distracts him in a way? Like he deffo gets lost in your physical beauty, but on the inside he literally can not comprehend how somebody can be so angelic and good for him?

maybe sometimes he doesn’t feel enough for you because you’re genuinely so perfect.

Chuck literally has to pinch him once to stop him from staring.

traces the scars on your hand and tells you out loud about how he will support through absolutely anything. Your interests are also his, he finds it fun to partake in new things with you??

Can tell when you’re afraid and gives you that little bit of a nudge you need to be more confident.

the way you show your love to him through actions rather than speaking to him is something Shifty likes. I feel like he’s so good at vocalising his love, but even he gets a little shy sometimes?

if you grab him for a hug or a kiss expect him to be smiling for the rest of the day omg he’s so perfect.

blushes easily.

I feel like you and shifty would genuinely want to spend every single day together?? Like if you’re away for a couple days he’d deffo embrace you so tightly.

wordied about hurting you? Deffo such a sweet lover and checks upon you constantly.

doesn’t have sex he makes LOVE omfg stop I love him so much.

You make him laugh more than anybody and he can be a little dopey sometimes so prepared to be entertained for the rest of your life.

I feel like you sound quite open minded? Shifty would deffo take you out fish noodling, fishing and hunting.

make out sessions whilst ur on a small little fishing boat.

It would probs start raining and you’d be rowing in circles for a good 30 mins to get out of it????

Seriously the softest and most gentle man ever, like I said earlier he’s endlessly loyal and the two of you would have such a peaceful life together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I ship you platonically with… George Luz!!!

Listen you and George as friends compliment each other massively.

you have the caring and gentle soul that George deep down longs for in his life? Yes he’s the joker of the group, but when he’s upset he sometimes struggles to vocalise it?

some how you just get it? You understand him like nobody else and George confides in you where he feels like he can’t in many other people?

on the other hand, you mentioned about you laughing- George never fails to make you almost pee yourself a good 10 times a day.

seriously we all know he’s funny but you just find him absolutely hilarious???

I think Luz would bring out an adventurous side to you? If he’d wanna go explore somewhere he’d take you with him?

idk I can just picture this friendship being extremely fun but also soooo fucking healthy like. You’re both always there for each other and you know it.

[lgcjinyoung]

LGC CHARA UPDATE • JINYOUNG’S PHONE

what are the top 5 most used apps on your phone?

“i think crunchyroll might be rank for one for that,” he admits with a chuckle, outing himself as the vivid anime fan he is. “then kkt as the obvious second but also whatsapp for pals from overseas. what else is there....” he scrolls through his phone, humming in thought. “oh- spotify for sure! can’t forget that one. i got a couple playlists that I shuffle through depending on the occasion and mood. as for the last one... probably cookierun kingdom. my brother kind of got me into that one,” he admits while waving his phone. “hollyberry cookie is just the best.”

what is the most random note in the notes app?

“not to be boring but I keep my notes pretty organized actually. there isn’t a random note that I forgot why it existed or why it’s there. I mainly use the notes app to write poems or grocery lists that jinseo gives me. or gift ideas for people who’s birthday is coming up. things I’d like to get jaehwa but she won’t allow me to buy for her...,” he pouts a little, scrolling down the page. “i wasn’t able to really spend our 500 days anniversary together nor her birthday so I just want to get her something really nice... but I know she’ll hit me if I spend too much money-”

what was the last message or call you’ve received and who was is from?

“last message was... from domi! he replied to the picture I sent him. i like to take pictures with my phone when I travel and he gives me the best reactions to them, heh. as for call...,” he moves to his phone app and purses his lips. “my mother. asking me when I’ll arrive for chuseok and if I’m bringing a plus one. i did ask jaehwa if she wanted to come but I’m a bit worried they will try to pick her apart. if they only dare to say a bad word to her I’m taking her back home right away, no matter how jinseo wants me to be civil.”

what were the last 5 songs that you’ve listened to?

“does crystallis whole dischoreography so far count,” he chests with an amused eye smile, exhaling a gust of laughter before scrolling through his last played. “I think I was listening to my chill playlist last to help me settle down after my schedules. so lets see... majority of these probably doesn’t ring a bell to you. there’s mountains by slo five feat. chill select, dusk by lotus beats also feat. chill select- you can tell it’s a playlist i just incorporated into my own. shut eye from laffey- fabulous artist. I love them. the long night by seori feat. giriboy is there and last but not least swim away by kim sejeong. I need to bug jaehwa to record me a cover of that song, she’d sound incredible, I just know it.”

what were the 5 most recent online searches?

“well... ahn jaehwa or crystallis jasmine obviously- people take such great pics of her it’s nice to see she’s doing well and having fun at her schedules,” he smiles down at his phone fondly before continuing on. “well otherwise... kim jinseo because I wanted to keep track of how hyung was doing at fashion week. I’m seriously proud he gets to go I hope I will too one day. future dreams since I have a couple of friends in the competition and I wanted to check on how they were doing. fabula comeback because I do have to support my unofficial little sister, right? oh and also best anniversary gifts for well.... obvious reasons- even if it’s late. or early? the two years is coming up...”

what are your contact names for the actors and models that you know?

Bai Lin: fake boyfriend

Kim Jinhyuk: lil bro

Kim Jinseo: hyunggggg

Okada Taiyou: senpai

Seong Byungho: uwu ♥

Yoon Minjae: cousin dearest