#there’s still a Jeremy one up but I just have to copy it over first

[ninyard]

-

[candyfloss-kittens]

22 years….

I've known of the trio for… as long as I can remember, given my dad would watch them way back when they were still on Top Gear. I don't know when Top Gear first aired on TV in New Zealand, I guess when the show first started to get popular world wide? I don't know…. Though, I do have some very vague recollections of seeing news reports about Hammond's big crash back in 2006 when I was 8, but I really don't know. I might've just heard of it back then, not necessarily seen anything about it.

Now, while I had watched bits of Top Gear over the years, and back in primary school, I'd tend to hang more around boys at school rather than girls (I do recall at one point with the desk layouts I was the only girl in one group alongside five other boys), and if I recall correctly, a lot of them would talk about Top Gear. I think I might've even watched some of Top Gear with one of my closest childhood friends many years ago, we might've even watched the Botswana special together when it first aired in NZ, though I genuinely can't remember if that actually happened or not (my memory is… not great). But given me and him did do a lot of things together, and we were both interested in most of the same things, it's possible (I've not seen that old friend in years now, though. Last I heard, he's got three kids…).

I do remember back in 2015 hearing about Jeremy essentially being fired from the BBC, and James and Richard leaving alongside him. Though, I cannot remember what my thoughts on that while situation was, given I at the time I didn't care about them.

It wasn't until late 2021 that I actually started getting into Clarkson, Hammond, and May. I think right as the Grand Tour's Carnage A Trois released. Pretty sure it was a result of some YouTube compilation of the trio popping up on my YouTube feed. At like 1:30am in the morning after i had gotten home from working night shift at my previous job at a mussel factory (that has unfortunately, and frustratingly, now closed down). How, when I've never been interested in cars at all, I have no idea. Then I started mostly just watching YouTube compilation videos of them after work before getting to bed. Then, I had ended up finding a copy of one of the sampler DVDs that came with the Top Gear magazines, the Supercars one, at one of the op shops near me for $2. I kind of just… fell head first into the trio after that. Buying every book and DVD of theirs that I could find, which was a lot easier than I had thought. Found many of my TG books and DVDs at the op shops near me (still had to get a few online, though, because some weren't easy to find, like May's Cars of the People).

Then at one point, I got curious about if there was fanfic written about them. I'm no stranger to rpf fanfic, so while I was surprised to find that there is, I sort of expected there to be? Because if it exists, there's bound to be fanfic for it. What was a surprise though, is just how into writing fanfic of the trio I got. Especially considering at the time I was trying to move away from writing rpf. So, thanks for that, guys.

I still find myself curious whether or not the guys know that there's fanfic about them, and what their thoughts are on it, though. I'd like to think that they just don't give a fuck, because surely if they had a problem with it (if they're aware of it), then they would've said something about it by now.

So… yeah. Known of them since forever, but never really cared much for them until late 2021 at 23. And now in 2024, at 26, I'm still very much into them, despite not really caring about cars (with the exception of collecting die-cast cars, and putting together model kit cars). I don't even have my driver's license.

While I definitely got into the fandom late, it's been very fun. And in terms of my Ao3 fics for the trio, I still have many more ideas to come, so even though the Grand Tour has now ended, I'm not going to be stopping writing fic for them anytime soon. And definitely won't stop me from finishing off my collection of all their books and DVDs they've released over the years.

[redsparko]

Now that the Legacy of Gods books are done I’ve come to bestow everyone with my rankings of all six books.

6. God of Pain

Starting with GOP, it did not touch me like the other books did, I don’t hate but don’t love it, but compared to the others it’s definitely my least favorite. Plus his nickname for her? Little purple? Rina, please. If anything little annoyance. No but seriously, this may have been a unique nickname, I give props but the nickname does not hit for me.

5. God of War

Do not come at me with the pitch forks and knives. I do not hate Eli or Ava, in fact, I love them both very dearly. It’s just that their book confused me the most and that a lot of the buildup I had for them was just… meh.

The amnesia trope with Ava was confusing as fuck. The psychosis and praise kink however? Good shit. But compared to how the others books made me feel? Meh.

But him calling her beautiful? Has me feeling some sort of way.

4. God of Wrath

People will def hate me for this one. I know Jeremy and GOW is a BIG fan favorite, if not, second/first to GOF. But first reading GOW it did not touch me the same way a few of the other books did y’know? Like after rereading it like 5 more times I got a little more attached but Jeremy somewhat just didn’t do it for me.

This book however has the best parent-male love interest interactions

Lisichka as a nickname lowkey be cute but don’t got me feeling anything much

3. God of Malice

When I tell yall Killian and Glyndon are > I mean it. Killian is so—hot. Like actually has me on my knees. He’s most hated by Levi? Has lowkey all of the King men at his head? Hello? What’s not to like? Also obsessed with her? Plus the little scenarios they have together, the picnic scene where he kisses her forehead? Tells her to be good? The way she kissed his chest after telling him she just wanted to sleep? That sort of intimacy with a psychopath? Damn.

The use of “Baby” and “Sweetheart” has me fucking fluttering. Little Rabbit however? Made me feel nothing, pussy dry. Feel like it could’ve been substituted with Bunny, feels cuter, little bunny, adorable bunny, cheeky lil bunny. Bunny rolls off the tongue better but may be more on the nose, still better than Little Purple.

2. God of Ruin

I have a bias for Mia and Landon, they’re so perfect. I’m an artist, too, so like,.. the flattery of being someone’s muse is so touching, specially when Landon just,.. can’t stop observing every slope of her just to sculpt her, the fact he’s a genius sculptor yet believes nothing he’s made is worthy of the attention he gets. He’s not humble by no means but his menace energy is just funny.

Like this dude is asking for whatever he’s getting.

And the risk of choosing her over his own art? Thags dedication that’s everything. Him choosing his love over his passion? Which is badically the equivalent to his love? I can’t even. Landon the most annoying and unfeeling mother fucker? Chooses Mia over his passion? The best.

Don’t get me started on the running, primal kink anyone?

1. GOD OF FURRRYYYYY

Y’all saw this one coming, yall had to. My absolute favorite (though some scenes make no damn sense). It’s very dramatic, I eat up dramatic. I have a physical copy of it, gifted by a friend and I will be rereading that shit word for word.

Nikolai is my type. He’s green forest galore. He’s hedonistic and doesn’t care abt what anyone says, but still extremely caring and obsessive of those around him and he’s EXTREMELY PROTECTIVE of those he loves, (THAT GARETH SCENE GMFU). Thats just everything I want, plus he’s got big muscles and his fan cast is universally accepted as Mike Debeer. I love my well built, tattooed, muscled men.

Please, I want myself a Nikolai. He’s so loving, caring, obsessive, and funny. To others he’s got the cold sheer personality of a Doberman/Cane corso, but to his one and only, he’s a golden retriever.

PLUS PLUS HE KNOWS HOW TO FIGHT, DO YALL UNDERSTAND HOW HOT IT IS TO PLAY FIGHT? Manhandle me.

Lotus Flower best nickname, fucking FIGHT ME.

Also? Landon and Nikolai? HELLO? BEST PAIR? Canon Landon is best brother. Landon and Brandon best brothers.

[theramusen]

EVIL DOUBLED (FNAF AU)

This was sorta just for fun while I do school and what not! AU idea where Henry and William are BOTH evil and work together!

This screenshot redraw is what started it all!

Thats William’s remnant in there btw hes sorta michael-mode rn but theyre gonna put it back in him once theyre done posing all cool- He JUST survived being springlocked for the first time

Now lets get into ref sheets! (There will be a page break after and all lore/info about the au will be down there!)

OK SO!!! The au def is similar to canon a lot and so

The MAJOR plot changes would be:

-Will and Henry BOTH get springlocked

•this fucks over Cassidy and CC being in Fredbear already though, so to solve this issue Cassidy, CC, and Charlie, will all share the puppet.

-Henry now occupies Fredbear instead, and so we now get Springtrap and Beartrap.

-William does NOT have time for the wife murder subplot, so Mrs. Afton (Clara) gets to live fully, she replaces Henry now. Diving into the duo’s blueprints and creations so she can one day stop them. She works with Michael.

-Henry’s wife is ALIVE! Her name is Dorothy and she returns to Hurricane after receiving a call from Clara. She also becomes a Henry replacement.

-Because of Clara and Dorothy’s new role, the pizza sim speach is now WAY more female rage style. This is the wrath of scorn mothers. UCN will be 100000x worse.

-Oh and no disks- William tries to push them but Henry 100% shuts them down and thinks theyre dumb.

-So fnaf 4 is JUST cc’s dying nightmare and eventually michael DOES get gas drugged and sees the nightmares but thats NOT fnaf 4 thats just a bad trip!

-Also, with William not being able to run rampant with random robot murder (Henry keeps him in check) we DO see the base finale in pizza sim.

-When we get into help wanted, ar, security breach, and ruin that follows a SECOND plot line fully separate from the first, where we see a surge of copy-cat killers (this is where we get characters like Vanessa and Jeremy, and Gregory will also be a part of this, being the main villain in Ruin now bc the Mimic was never made)

-William and Henry are a good team here, mutual bond and gain.

-William is far more explosive and emotional, his drive coming from CC’s death sorta setting off a domino effect of underlying mental health issues. He just kinda loses it. This team gives him the delusion that he may one day see CC again.

-Henry is in it bc hes a capitalist. And hey, turns out unlike electricity, theres NO remnant bill. So making all his robots run on human souls is cheaper! He doesnt really care much about charlie after like 3 months of her being dead. He knows it was William. He doesn’t care.

GENETICS?!

yeah theres genetics-

not gonna draw out the punnet squares but the colors of the characters ARE genetic traits!

Henry’s grey is a rare recessive trait. So it was EXTREMELY unlikely to pass onto Charlie. Which it didnt.

Dorothy’s green is a common dominant trait, Charlie ended up green like her!

William and Clara are BOTH purples. William is a more blue-purple, Clara is a more red-purple (commonly mistaken for pink!)

Both purples are dominant traits, so it is a 50/50 with their offspring to produce a blue-purple or red-purple.

Michael and Elizabeth both ended up red-purple!

Michael is VERY red-purple, very much almost mistaken for pink like his mom.

Elizabeth is closer to true purple than michael, but still red-purple!

CC is the only afton child to end up blue-purple! If he hadnt died he wouldve ended up being Williams favorite child!

[theladyofrosewater]

What’s the buzzfeed trio’s favorite games?

So for all intents and purposes, I had intended to put the buzzfeed unsolved au in the late 90/early 2000s but I also know that you probably want the answer to what MODERN games they like so I'll do both( also I think I may have to change the date)

90s/EARLY 2000s GAMES

Charlie adores the 1996 original Resident Evil game and it's precursor Sweet Home but also things like American McGee's Alice and Silent Hill 1 or even Clock Tower. She's made a lot of friends to get overseas games. Horror games are her favorite but she has a soft spot for Final Fantasy (fun fact the first FF game came out in 1987 lol).

Michael got a Mortal Combat Cabinet into his house that he "borrowed" from Fredbear's that he custom painted the sides of, he will play it for hours at a time and Charlie and Jeremy don't get how he can stand for so long. he also loves those text-based adventure games and is totally a DnD nerd and he and Jeremy do one shots all the time with a group every two weeks.

Jeremy absolutely loves A Link to the Past and Link's Awakening but other than the DnD games he plays with Mike he's not really a game person otherwise but thinks making them would be cool so he's got a ton of folders filled with ideas.

MODERN GAMES

Charlie is a chronic speedrunner so anything where she can attempt to beat the game in less than two hours is fun to her but she will take the time to play any Resident Evil game slowly and carefully first before going into speedrunner mode because she likes that style of game. Michael and Jeremy once gifted her a copy of Haunting Ground and DinoCrisis 2 respectively and she legitimately cried and hugged them for about 10 minutes straight because people kept outbidding her on copies and she really wanted to play them.

Michael absolutely HATES having to sit still to play video games so anything like JustDance or DDR is his bread and butter. He also really likes VR games and has an awesome set up from guilt money from his parents and has passed almost every beat saber label at S+. DnD is the only thing he can sit down and play but to be honest he preferes LARPing because movement. Charlie also got him a Switch one year and he just plays it while walking around and somehow has not walked into anything yet however Jeremy has stolen it to play Animal Crossing several times.

Jeremy likes games like Minecraft or Terraria but only once he's modded the hell out of both games. He also like team based games like Dead By Daylight or Team Fortress 2 because he likes making friend's with randoms. He also secretly has 100% stardew valley over 4 times but doesn't want Michael or Charlie to know because then they'd want to play with him and he can not deal with Charlie's min/maxing and Michael's habit of stealing items and staying up until 2 AM literally ever night. He also really likes Pokemon Snap because my version of Jeremy is a big fan of photography!

Asks are open!

[angstmongertina]

WIP Wednesday Results/Sentences

Aaand the poll is over! Thank you to everyone who voted! I adore you and my muse hates you. :P

Accountability sentences (and copied/new fic premises) under the cut! Since not everything got a vote this time, I'll be skipping the ones that didn't get any votes.

Letters to Nadia – From a shared 7KPP ‘verse with @teaandinanity’s Valya where our characters’ kids decided they were in love with each other. (Supposed to be 1 sentence but shhhh it's fine.)

He shakes his head, regretting it a moment later when the world swirls precariously around him, but the image of Nadia, her face set in that perfectly polite smile he knows hides disapproval and genuine hurt, continues to swim before his eyes. Genuine hurt caused by him. Then again, that’s still better than the alternative. He can handle hurt. Hurt is better than fear. Or, at least, that’s what he’ll have to convince himself of.

forever i’m yours, forever i do – A retelling of Artem’s second anniversary card that started as just an attempt to write out the smut and that VERY MUCH grew out of control HELP (3 sentences, but I added an extra just 'cause.)

To distract himself, he glances to the side, where Jeremy is fidgeting with his cufflinks, but before he can do anything more than offer a sympathetic look, the music swells with the familiar strain of Pachelbel, and he stiffens, straightening as a sudden hush falls over the audience. He’s supposed to be watching Celestine. He knows this. He hears the crowd murmur as she steps into view, feels the sharp inhale from the man beside him as he lays eyes on his bride, and yet he barely even notices, because all he can see, all he knows, is her.

Homecoming – For the CoG story Teahouse of the Gods, because the A'Li romance was right up my alley. Continuing the angstier version. (1 sentence)

She’s the first one to break the sudden stillness, words falling out of her mouth before she can even think about them: “You haven’t changed.”

Oh Brother – Again from the shared 7KPP 'verse mentioned above, Thomas’ little sister’s version of what happened. (3 sentences turned into three paragraphs OH WELL)

“Doesn’t know everything about her either.” His voice is unusually soft, one might even say hesitant, and Iris turns to find him with an odd expression in his eyes, though the next moment, it’s hidden under his typical teasing grin. “Sorry, you’ll have to find another source of information for your gossip.” “Ugh, what good are you, then?” Aster grumbles, but there’s a satisfaction in their mannerism that means they’ve already achieved what they intended to. Though the jury is still out on whether or not it’s actually helpful.

Spiral Point – More 7KPP because the brainrot is real, but this time for Camyon’s childhood friends AU. Here is more of their first interaction at the Summit, when neither of them actually recognize the other. :D (1 sentence)

Those sharp dark eyes were still fixed on her, however, and she realized belatedly that she was staring. “My apologies, Your Grace.”

Dinghun Zhou – CinderLia! In an alternate universe in which there is no Summit, but there’s still an event to try and find a wife for the perpetually single Duke Lyon. (2 sentences)

She raised an eyebrow and the man gave a sheepish smile. “He did inform me I was not to return until I was certain I could bring back an acceptance from you.”

King's Gambit – Fic for Gilded Shadow I started ages ago and never finished. Because Lance's route sniped me REALLY hard. Ari? Saw that coming. Caissa? Not terribly surprising. But LANCE????? (3 sentences)

She was, as he had already identified, a star student, and her focus on her exam, her little oasis in the chaos swirling just outside of her visual range, made it relatively easy to monitor her well-being. Until suddenly it wasn’t. It all happened so quickly, he nearly missed it.

That Which Binds Us – Also an ooooold old fic, this time for Fire Emblem Awakening and Chrobin. Because I had Ideas about what was happening in the background of the first half of the game, but I am terrible at multichapter things. (2 sentences but I cheated one more time.)

The concern softened into faint amusement, though she kept her thoughts to herself as she smiled. “I was just wondering if that was all, but maybe we should just say it is. We need our leader focused and alert, after all.” He shook his head with a rueful grin.

Much cheating was done in terms of making things longer than requested, but hey, better that than shorter! Thank you if you read them all!

[damelucyjo]

Here we go!

Episode 3 - 4-5-1

Colin finally getting the recognition he deserves!

But I don't think this is the reveal they expected it to be 😂

His boy is cute though...

OMG the false start with the theme 😂😂

YYEAAAAHH!!!!!

Ted thinking he got maths correct then saying 'are' and Roy shaking his head - perfect

Roy fully understanding Ted’s metaphors now!! ONE OF US, ONE OF US!

Perfect reflection on actual conversations had in an office 😂

BEARD’S ACCENT! Kinda hot??

Julie Andrews talk!! And they all fancy her. My people!! 🥰

Fuck yeah Princess Diaries! But how is that a deep cut?? 🤔

They boys are all incredibly cute

Please never change Dani!!

Uh oh. For Isaac to be the one to make that comment 🫣

Paul & Idris I get, but Norm??? Come on Sam

Oop that classic ‘gay sex’ joke 🤔

Rebecca looking fine, as always! (Also this must be where that clip of Hannah, Juno & Jeremy playing ‘kissy shoes’ is from

Shandy’s first question to Rebecca being ‘how tall are you?’ was very funny to me and I don’t know why 😂

Hannah’s face! 😂

Ooo mysterious Rebecca

(I also have thoughts about the ‘I’m late’ line, but I’ll keep it to myself (unless you ask))

That Virginia line had to be for Hannah

The thigh touch 👀

Who the fuck are you? DO NOT DISRESPECT MY BOY LIKE THAT!!

I am living for angry Rebecca

‘Your desk is covered in biscuit crumbs’ fucking dying 😂😂

Zava is incredibly OTT, but I kinda love him

You are the glue 🥹

Apparently they couldn’t get through this scene for laughing and THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE BLOOPERS!!

Is there going to be something to this whole ‘everyone is enamoured by Zava but Rebecca’ thing?

Oh, & Jamie too

Ted popping out from behind him - may be the funniest thing in this episode 🤷🏻‍♀️

HES 25?!?! Wtf 😂🫣

Roy is really making me chuckle in this scene. Brett, I love you 😍

I mean, they’re all brilliant in this scene to be fair

These 3 acting like little kids is amazing. Again BLOOPERS!!

‘He’s tall’ I see you, Trent 😏

Ooo the psychic 👀

They’re testing each other… interesting

Mentioning Sam then telling her Deb told you is not going to help her believe you, Tish 🤔

I don’t understand why Rebecca has gone to see her though if she’s so against it?? She must believe in it even slightly to agree to see her

Am I the only one confused by the sudden odd smell??

‘A shite in nining armour’ 😂

I have many thoughts and feelings about this whole psychic visit, just like everyone else apparently

This whole interview talk and making it viral makes me think Colin’s story is going to come out amongst all this Zava shit

Roy would do an interview for Keeley 🥹🥹 my heart

The boys!! ‘Makes sense’ 😂

This Wordle bit is purely Jason and Brendan. Tell me I’m wrong

Jamie boy is growing up 🥹

Beard being shocked Jamie knew what he was talking about 😂

Rebecca must wear BBP always this season apparently. I ain’t mad at it!

Ted still really knows nothing about football. So real 😂

Apple getting their Tetris promo in 😂😂

So this new guy is just another Ted 👀👀 interesting

Poor Ted

Rebecca being super excited! We love to see it!

Jamie walking in & straight out again. King

Ted internet stalking the new guy. We’ve all been there 😂

Rebecca still thinking about what Tish said 👀

Poor Roy 🥹

I’d be pissed too if I was Jamie!

He got a job!! Things are looking up for the Bar Boys 😂

We love a little flirty flirt moment over food 👀👀

He’s their couples therapist?! I thought he was Henry’s doctor or something 🫣

Why keep mentioning how great Nate is? He’s coaching a team that was already good… what’s he doing??

That fucking tattoo 😂 and playing Jesus Christ Superstar over it. Genius 😂

Love to see a happy Rebecca. She feels like she’s finally winning!

Dani copying Zava 😂😂

More flirting 👀

Issac is so fucking intense 😂

How long have they been together if the boys have never met him before??

REBECCA MIDDLE NAME WELTON!! That is how you show up to your ex’s new restaurant opening!

‘Told you’ what we’re they talking about for that comment?? 👀

Beard & Jane are terrible but Brendan & Phoebe are brilliant!

Poor Jamie

LOVING this bromance developing here

Fucking pre-Madonna 😂😂

I’m excited for this training

Sassy is such a terrible person?? Like, we knew?? But my god woman

I’m very undecided on Shandy…

So is Rebecca, apparently

Hannah & Juno having a whole conversation with no words 🥰 all the awards to both of them!

I just noticed Zava is wearing a t-shirt with his name all over it 😂

Avocado callback 👍🏼

‘Borderline unethical’ says everything about Sassy

Uh oh. Rebecca beginning to panic so she drinks instead. She’s just like me!

Trent’s so cool

I think it’s gonna be important that Trent was the one to spot Colin & Michael

Also fitting ‘everybody knows’ over that part of the scene - genius!

[yestolerancepro]

Tolerance Ability not in Ability A producers Commentary Part 1 in the Beginning  25th Anniversary Edition

Introduction

Ever watched a film with an audio commentary? Imagine that I am sat beside you at home in your living room on the couch, explaining what happened as we made the Tolerance film. This blog will do just that and give you a more complete story about the making of Tolerance, including new interviews with the cast and crew, behind the scenes stories, and details of deleted scenes that ended up on the cutting room floor. 

 The best news is we have managed to find over 107 behind-the-scenes photographs from the original film.  They come from Rob Martin, who was meticulous at labelling these photos; the information includes the date when they were taken the location and which are the best photos to use

Tolerance Member Helen Batty approached me with more photos, which included shots taken on the last day of shooting at the Odeon Cinema in Huddersfield and the Ropewalk Pub. While going through the Tolerance film paperwork I came across the shooting schedule the props and costume lists all added more to the Tolerance story

This new version of the blog written for the 25th Anniversary of the film also includes screengrabs taken from the Tolerance film from a cleaned up digital copy that Ian Medley made in 2020

Background

The Tolerance Project was made up of a group of non-disabled and disabled people aged between 18 and 25 in the West Yorkshire area.

The idea behind the film was one of Jeremy Walkers many ideas and it was a good one we first began talking about making a disability awareness film in 1997 in fact here I am on the front cover of a 1997 edition of CDS news talking about our early plans to Huddersfield Examiner Reporter Jenny Parkin there was even an interview with me inside the booklet

We wanted to make a film that reflected the life of young disabled people in the 21st century. It was important to us as a group that it was funny, and that it would capture the humour within the group. At the same time, we wanted it to deliver a serious message about what it was like to live with a disability day-to-day.

The film has five main themes: Employment, Social Life, Transport, Accessibility, and Relationships. We chose these themes because they were important areas of all the lives of the group members.

If we were going to make the film we wanted to be involved with it as much as possible provide as many of the cast and crew in the finished film as we could. In the end other members of the Tolerance who were not in front of the camera worked behind the camera in the various behind the scenes roles.  

After a couple of false starts we approached a company called Eclipse Productions run by Richard Hellawell. The film itself was shot between the 16th to the 23 August 1999

The script was written by Richard Hellawell with input from Tolerance members; myself and Jeremy Walker were the film’s producers. In keeping with the humour we wanted the film to portray, we included film spoofs of Officer and a Gentleman, Star Wars, and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

 So, blog commentary coming up ... Tolerance starts and ...

45 seconds and we begin with our first film spoof, Star Wars, when the film starts with the standard Star Wars opening crawl. Instead of detailing a rebel attack on the evil empire lead by Darth Vader it tells u about the Tolerance group and what you can expect to see over the next 25 mins

Tolerance uses all original music from a number of film and TV shows, raided from my music collection. You can find a complete playlist of all the music used in Tolerance here The soundtrack totals 32 mins of music ihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye8KvYKn9-0&list=PLPMadem14HDA4VfaekTC3gszEtwWfyGLQ

The Soundtrack we created for the Tolerance film will be covered in a new 2 Part blog called Thank you for the Music .  

1 minute 22 seconds with the Star Wars music still playing, we get a nice opening shot of our leading man, David Smith, fast asleep, who plays our hero Robert clutching a book about the latest Star Wars film, The Phantom Menace (episode I), with his wheelchair close by.

David Smith (www.davidsmithactor.co.uk) has gone on to do some great things in the acting world appearing in episodes of Moving On for the BBC, Emmerdale for ITV, and the film Electricity. I think he gives a great performance in our film and I would love to work with him again someday.

Please note: unless mentioned in the commentary, all the actors in Tolerance are non-wheelchair users. Tolerance members did insist that all members of the cast and crew should use wheelchairs to get the full experience, before, during, and in some cases after filming was complete.

Deleted scene

The opening of the film was going to be quite different is detailed in the original script.

Scene 3: Princess Leia Dream Sequence

The first deleted scene was the first of the intended film spoofs, taking off the popular science fiction film, Star Wars. In the finished film, there is a Star Wars homage, but the director, Richard Hellawell, shot it differently from the script. In 1999 when we were filming, there was no CGI, nor did we have the budget for anything out of the ordinary!

Robert is in a Star Fighter ready to fire his thermo bombs into the Death Star. Dissolve to Robert, who receives a medal from Princess Leia, but she is not Princess Leia, she is Robert’s girlfriend, Julie.

Interestingly some of the deleted scenes were included in the props list  The Star Wars dream sequence for example has the following list attached to it Star Wars Footage blue screen equipment fighter pilot clothing medal Princess Leia dress

1 minute 47 seconds After the introduction of our leading man, we get the introduction of our leading lady, Claire Abbot, playing Julie. Like David Smith, Claire gives a great performance and I would love to meet her again. If you can help me find Claire, I would be most grateful, as I have not been able to find out any information about what she is doing now. Sadly, this is a recurring theme in Tolerance.

The use of Perfect Day is a romantic theme in the film. I wanted to use the all star Children in Need version, but Richard Hellawell went with the original Lou Read version. I have to admit in hindsight that I think this was the better choice.

2 minutes

Julie Fountain plays Julie’s mother and she would also appear in the party scene at the end of the film. She has worked on many TV programmes and is a lecturer and acting coach. (www.linkedin.com/in/julie-fountain-50968226/?trk=public-profile-join-page)

The scenes where we see Robert and Julie at home were shot at different houses, belonging to the mums of Tolerance members, Liam Centino and Gemma Blagbrough. These shots were recorded on the first day of the shoot. On the 16th of August Unfortunately, it did not go well; we had awful weather; we were nervous; and filming overran because somebody kept ruining the take with his laughing, not naming names.

The shooting schedule also notes how many pages of script we had to shoot each day on that first day we only shot the first 4 pages of the film but it seemed to take forever  

 If you wondering how long a typical filming day was like on the film the first day of filming started at 830am in the morning and we were still shooting at 7pm that day proved to be an exception to the rule most shooting days started at 7 in the morning   

The shooting schedule also has the word Skel written on it most notably in the scenes shot at the Worklink office and town sequences. This indicates that a Skeleton Crew was used in film terms that means a small crew of people required to get up early in a morning, to shoot scenes in a location where a few or no members of public are about to interrupt them a typical Skeleton Crew will include the following people

Director of Photography Directors of photography are responsible for the photographic heart of a production.

They read the screenplay and work closely with the director to discuss the look and feel of a film.

Each shot is marked up for focus and framing by the focus puller and then the DoP oversees the lighting of the set for the first take.

Make Up/Hair

In film and TV drama, hair and make-up designers help actors portray their characters by using hair and make-up to create a look.

 In pre-production, they work closely with the director to understand the style of the story.

Production Assistant Helps prepare the set with lights, props, equipment etc.Assisting costume designers, directors, camera people and other crew members. Printing and distributing daily paperwork (e.g. scripts, call sheets)

Location Audio (Sound Recordist) Sound recordists work intimately, fitting personal mics and monitoring

the sound output on all on-screen talent and contributors.

They communicate with all members of the production and crew, especially camera operators and directors.

Gaffer

During filming, they work out the positioning of the lights and fastest way to change the lighting setups between shots.

Gaffers mediate between the DoP and the rest of the lighting crew.

They're also responsible for safety and need to comply with the law on electricity, driving and employment.

Grips his responsibility is to build and maintain all the equipment that supports cameras.

This equipment, which includes tripods, dollies, tracks, jibs, cranes, and static rigs,

is constructed of delicate yet heavy duty parts requiring a high level of experience to operate and move.

2 minutes 41 seconds Julie’s sister, Mary, appears asking for her cup of tea. Mary was played by Laura Brown, sister of Tolerance member, Sarah Brown. Both Sarah and Laura moved back to Newcastle with their parents about a year after the film was shot, but please get in touch if you read this !* Footage from this scene was used to highlight the issue of Family and Relationships in the Tolerance film

My commentary will continue in part 2, which will look at the aspect of the film dealing with transport.

In the meantime, if you have read this and want to help the Tolerance Project, please click on the above link to our gofundme page

 to find out more info about or to give a small donation 

Or follow us on twitter @TolerancePro

 Coming soon Tolerance Ability Not in Ability Producers Commentary Part 2 Transport

Pictures

An example of one of the 4 photo wallets containing the Tolerance Behind the scenes photo taken by Rob Martin

Me on the Front cover of CDS News talking to Jenny Parkin from the Huddersfield Examiner

The Tolerance/Star Wars Dialoge crawl

Robert played by David Smith reading a book about the making of Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace

The Tolerance film prop list note the deleted scene props highlighted in Green

Clare Abbot as Julie

Actress Julie Fountain playing Julies Mother with Tolerance Member Laura Brown playing Julie Sister Mary

The Tolerance film shedule drawn up by director Richard Hellawell

Notes

Thank you to Ian Medley for the Skeleton crew job disriptions and for the nice clean screengrabs taken from the Tolerance film also thanks to Ruth Sharpe for giving me the title for the first chapter for the blog all those years ago and for editing the original blog in the first place

Also Thank you to Doctor who magazine for letting me nick there Fact of fiction format ha ha

[there-wolf]

Jasonnie Dream

So, I had a dream last night, and I thought it be fun if I shared it. Since this was a dream, I could understand some stuff but other things I did made up because it seems like a fit. Without further ado, enjoy! Also, this was copied and paste on the notes app on my phone,so please understand some mistakes.

Last night, o had a dream that Rise of the TMNT had a sequel series, and if I remember correctly, it was Donatello-centric. It was around when they were no longer teenagers but more young adults. 

(Reminded me of Steven Universe Future)

It was all good, the episodes were fine, but there wasn’t really popping that got to the outside audience.

Until.

It was about the first half of the season when it happened. A Purple Dragons episode. I think they would be “reformed” and be good I guess. 

The Purple Dragons approach Donnie and for some reason, he begins to hang out with them. And people may think that Donnie is spending time with Kendra, but NOPE. He’s hanging out with Jeremy and Jason.

They go around town in Jeremy’s van around town at night (important detail), and Kendra tries to do evil Kendra stuff, but the boys are just having fun. They go to the arcade, go to the movies, classic young adult stuff (similar to the one they had with SHELLDON).

In this montage, we see that Donnie and Jeremy are really hitting it off and Jase is kind of there.

(I think there was a couple of days time jump?)

Fast forward, the Purple Dragons and Donnie reach out this campsite and began to plan to stay the night there. They make a campfire and decided to squish in the van to sleep.

Now, reminder that they are young adults here, so they have a few beers and it’s nothing like someone brought a Tequila and drank it or made bad decisions. They just shared a couple of beers and Donnie became a bit tipsy. 

Shenanigans happen and Donnie and Jase are alone in the camp (Either Kendra and Jeremy went to bed or they left for a moment in the woods). 

Jase is sitting in front of the fire and Donnie sits down next to him. We get a close up of Jase BLUSHING but Donnie doesn’t notice.

They talk for a while, Donnie leading the conversation, and after a while, Donnie puts around his arm around Jase and snuggles him closer. 

Jase knows that Donnie is semi-drunk, so he tries to shove him off before he does something he would regret when he was sober. 

After this interaction, I don’t remember what they did, but let’s pretend I do know and here’s what I imagine:

Jase tries to shove Donnie back in the van so he gets some sleep but Donnie is being kind of flirty with Jase, complementing him while Jase VISIBLY blushes. While trying to drag Donnie to the van, they fall down, Donnie in top of Jase.

Jase complains that Donnie should get off of him, but it was clear that he wasn’t listening. He then cups Jason’s face and begins stroking his check with his finger. Donnie then leans down closer to Jason’s face and-

He boops his nose.

He then rolls around in a giggling mess. Jason is rightfully flustered and he stays paralyzed on the floor while Donnie continues giggling. Donnie then turns his head to Jase and calls him cute.

Jason stands up and somehow drags Donnie in the van while he stays outside. We (as an audience) see that Jason is flustered with a sad face.

In the morning, Donnie doesn’t remember this encounter.

(I imagine he would but it would be hinted at)

Shenanigans and at the end of the episode, the Purple Dragons (and by that, I mean Kendra) are still planning revenge on Donnie.

Now, the scene between Donnie and Jason EXPLODES all over the internet and there are more shippers of them, meaning more fics and fanarts. The OG Jasonnie shippers will be celebrating that our ship is semi-canon. 

But it doesn’t end there!

In the second half of the season, the Purple Dragons make an appearance and Kendra is destroying the city with a mech to get back to Donnie. Classic Kendra stuff. 

Fight scene after fight scene, Donnie somehow manages to hack some of the monitors of the mech and begins to talk to Jason and Jeremy and how they shouldn’t take Kendra’s crap, but she cuts him off.

Jeremy and Jason have a realization moment faces. Jeremy lashes out at Kendra but Kendra pins him down. It seems that Donnie’s speech didn’t get through Jase…

But that’s what he WANTS us to think.

In the end of the episode, Kendra is about to deliver the final blow on Donnie. 

I think we would’ve gotten flashes of the allies of Donnie flashing and screaming in horror. Then we would’ve switched to Kendra’s maniacal face and the camera shot lingering to Jason’s darkened face. 

The intense music then would end, switching to a soft one as we glance at everything that is happening through Jason’s point of view. 

I think we would’ve have gotten flashes of the campfire scene and then Jason would turn against Kendra. Plot happens and Kendra and Jase are fighting on the mech, which is about to blow up.

Jason, even though he hates his sister, he somehow gets her to safety but the mech explodes before he gets to safety himself. Donnie then saves Jason as he catches Jason in his arms. It was cute and Jason is blushing again. 

Kendra is taken to prison, and Jeremy and Jase part ways with each other and the Mad Dogz. I would believe that Donnie calls out to them to not be strangers, and Jeremy makes a snarky remark and leaves. 

Before Jase leaves, he laughs that and says that they haven’t get rid of him that easily. Jason smiles and Donnie does the same.

But wait.

Hold on.

IS THAT A TINY BLUSH ON DONNIE?!

And that’s how I woke up happy but then remembered that unless Nickelodeon or Netflix do something about it, we won’t have more Rise of the TMNT content and that Jasonnie is a small ship.

[h-pelessly]

December 2, 2023.

Today was Nectar's M&G and party. The M&G was at Ralph's for a release of a new Nectar pack, and we arrived at around 1:20 ish. The cast of Under the Influence podcast were going to show up at 1:30, and the first 100 people would get something. I didn't have high hopes, honestly, but then again, I'm like how big is the podcast, honestly. And people over 21 are chill. Anyway, we got there and were chilling in line. We talked to some Nectar crew because they were forced to talk to us and keep us in shape, but one of the Nectar guys said that he really likes Nectar (like duh but ok) and he recommended us the new flavor that he really likes. I don't know why he singled us out but it is what it is. I was like HEHHEOHOH. But anyways, waiting in line made me nervi tbh. The cast came out and they kept making videos and I'm like I feel DEAD. Can we also talk about Viet being fake as fuck when meeting us outside? Mans was DEAD when he first ran past us. Then, the cast came out to high five us, and Wootak missed my hand completely, and Viet stopped like 2 people before us. Whatever, at least I shook Mr. Jeremy and babygirl Esther's. So the meetup was actually super chill like the cast came out and talked to people and so did the workers. We got stickers, which these guys came out and stared hard at. I was like wtf like mind yo business???? I thot they went to UCLA and I was like no this ain't it, chief. Turns out they were friends with the cast LMAO makes sense. Also, we got gifts. They had cups or banners, but they literally ran out of cups like 2 people in front of us so we had to get banners. And we were like one of the last ones. One girl behind us got the last one. I really had to pee, but I had the worst anxiety so I couldn't go alone. Then, I asked the girl in front of me. SUPER weird I know, but she agreed and we became friends. She came alone so it made it all better :)

Books I read this month;

Offside Hearts by Nikki Lawson (4/10) This honestly has to be one of my least rated books that I've read so far. I started this book out in May, and had to stop because of an unrealistic, weird ass situation that happened between two strangers in the very beginning. Well, I somehow got to around 75% before putting it away for good. I only picked this book up so I can finally mark it as finished for the year. I feel so bad for being such a hater for this sports romance, but both the characters were so unlikable it was insane. Noah's, the MMC, only personality traits are having money and being obsessed with his girl. He had no depth to him. And Margo, the FMC, was scared of Noah's playboy antics, but still let him hit like she also became obsessed with him quickly with no regards to her heart. This was written like a fanfic and I absolutely hated it-- it wasn't realistic at all.

The Fake Out by Stephanie Archer (100/10) I was lucky enough to receive an ARC copy. I expected it to be a physical copy, but I'm just glad I got to read it at all. I absolutely fell in love with both characters. Hazel was such a sassy yet fun character. She was actually the one who initiated it which I thought was shocking yet I loved it. We love bold, powerful women. And Rory? Do not get me STARTED on Rory, my new hockey bf. Blonde guys aren't usually my go-tos like Garrett Anderson from Play with Me, but oh my god, this man had me on an absolute chokehold. He's so flirty with only HER and he has eyes (literal heart eyes) only for her. She thinks it's fake bc of the fake dating trope, but it's so real for him. The nickname he has for her had me giggling and kicking my feet. Who am I kidding? This whole book, their interaction had me giggling and kicking my feet. Crying at some parts, but that's what good books do. Chef's kiss.

Love Redesigned by Lauren Asher (7.5/10) I feel like a 7.5 is actually very kind. I started this book in November and forgot about it because I didn't have time to read the physical copy, but I picked it up in December because I wanted to read all the books in my reading pile. I read it on Apple books bc it was that much easier to read and bring everywhere and honestly bc I am fucking blind. I was kind of disappointed ngl like it took place in Lake Wisteria, which is Cal and Lana's place so maybe I had very high expectations going in. Maybe it had the billionaire trope or it's written by THE Lauren Asher so I was like it can't miss. Sadly it did. The characters were childish, the problems were rushed, and I had no connection to the characters. The MMC, Julian, most of all, missed the mark. He's grumpy and rich, which is up my aisle, but the way he interacted with Dahlia (pre-hookup) gave me the annoying boy next door. Also, Julian was fucking MEAN to cal like cal's a baby-- my baby. Back the fuck AWF. I literally had to return my physical copy bc I wasn't in love with it.

That Summer by Jillian Dodd (6.5/10) It wasn't terrible compared to other audiobooks, but I put this off for so long. See all of the books I've been putting off and finishing for the year lol. But I get that Dani (Davaney) the FMC was a high-schooler, but miss maam couldn't make up her damn mind, leaving poor Chase, the MMC, wounded. Like she likes him enough when they're forced together for the summer, but not proud enough when back to reality? And there were SO many characters. I get it's a family trip and all, but I was like why are these names relevant. And not only were they mentioned at the beginning, they had a bigger part at the end. I'm like WHO TF IS THIS AGAIN. So yeah, maybe reading it would've been better. But also, where was Chase's POV??????

Reconsidering the Facts by Emily Tudor (7.6/10) I was so excited for Oliver and Paige's story. Oliver had me from the very beginning because he was such a complicated character, and no one really saw him for him. I loved Paige as we got to know her, and the only thing that set me off was the friend group. They seem very well behaved like they all go to therapy, but they don't give each other room, and the author KEEPS talking about them like honestly, I don't really care about their stories at all can we focus back on Ollie and Paige?! But there was a murder mystery tied into it which was very unexpected yet fun, and I liked it. Maybe I need to go to therapy because I absolutely DESPISED the friend group, but they make a lot more sense in this book than in the first one.

Better than the Movies by Lynn Painter (8/10) Lynn Painter doesn't miss. Tara recommended me this book and I saw that it was short so I was like why the f not. The beginning was like a movie, and I was like ehhhh, but then, when Liz started recognizing her feelings for Wes, I was screaming and pumping my fist in the air. Like I get that Liz is a rom-com fanatic so like she daydreams about the perfect everything, but like she tries planning out everything, and it was so cute when she came to the realization that she LIKES wes. I was sobbing and crying ugly the whole time. What threw me off was the end like what the actual fuck and the miscommunication trope like COME THE FUCK ONNNNNN. Anyways, it wasn't spicy at all. So I know if a story is good, spice is not needed.

Better than the Prom by Lynn Painter (9/10) This is a continuation or extra from Better than the Movies in Wes's POV, and I've been needing that shit from the very beginning. Too fucking bad we only get one little part, but it was ahmazing and much needed. Wes is such a sweetheart and like ugh, chef's kiss.

Personal Foul by Maggie Rawdon (7.95/10) I was looking to Wren and Easton's story since the very beginning, but the book was honestly not up to my expectations. I expected more banter between the two and the hate. However, Easton definitely topped my expectations-- how would anyone guess that this guy is an absolute marshmallow? Wren's worries about the friend group not accepting is valid, but also, I was like as a friend, they SHOULD be supportive and if it doesn't work, all they can do is help out. So I'm glad they do end up supporting the two. I want to give the author a standing ovation for the proposal at the end-- that made me tear up and I just want the best for these two.

The Mistake by Elle Kennedy (7/10) I mean it was a solid story, but it was so basic and simple. I probably should have binged the whole Off Campus series in the beginning, but I didn't and I put myself in a weird position. Because I bought the blue sprayed edges, I'm going to read all of them now. Honestly, the way (John) Logan looked at Hannah in The Deal was kind of giving me the ick. And that's exactly how the book starts out. It gives me Twisted Hate vibes because I liked the FMC, Grace, sm more than the MMC. Grace was so innocently charming and then became baddass when she realized her worth. I absolutely loved that for her, but I did like them together. I just think them coming together was rushed and random. Like their meet cute was super random and forced-- it wasn't even cute. But they are cute, I will say that.

[daggerzine]

The Dave Benton Interview: Catching up with The MadTown Man by Eric Eggleson

If you haven’t heard of Dave Benton, then you didn’t grow up in the Midwest, or Madison specifically. I “lived” at his record store and saw one of his former bands, Spooner, too many times to count. But when I found out he was in a new band, the ghost particles, I had to check them out. And am I ever glad I did. They are a supergroup of sorts if you’re familiar with the Madison music scene (Ex-Spooner, Fire Town, The Rousers, First Person). What’s even better is I got to see them perform at one of their few and far between shows in Madison this summer. I contacted Dave to see if he was up for a Dagger interview and here’s what he had to say.  

Have you lived in Madison your entire life?  I originally lived in New Jersey; my family moved to Omaha, NE when I was 11. I attended U of Nebraska for one year and then transferred to a smaller state college, Wayne State in the small town of Wayne, Nebraska. (Not affiliated with Wayne State University in Detroit). It was there that I first met Doug “Duke” Erikson. After college I moved to Madison in 1972.  

When did you begin your musical career?  I was 15 when I formed a band with friends.  While in Nebraska I played with five different Rock bands over the thirteen years. It was all good fun and preparation for the next level.  

What musical training do you have?  No formal training.  

Anybody help your training?  Just friends, sharing chords. I discovered from the outset that I could play by ear and copy melodies from records.  

When did you feel that you “made it” in the field? Why?  After many years, our band Spooner was signed by Chameleon Records in 1989, with distribution by EMD, then WEA, and finally Roadrunner. It was the only time I made any real money.  

Are you still involved with MadCity Music (record store)?  I sold the business in 2007, and it’s still going strong to this day.  

Who influenced you the most in your musical career?  My dad was a big Jazz fan and would often bring records home. I’ve lived through all the eras of Rock ‘n Roll, and I was knocked out by Eddie Cochran when I was young. The biggest influences were The Beatles and all the ‘60s Garage bands.  

How did the ghost particles come about?  In the fall of 2019, Joel Tappero mentioned to me that he was starting to work on some songs with Phil Davis. I told them I was interested, and we started to get things going. Then the pandemic hit that winter, so we switched gears, and all got the same Multi-Track software. Since we could no longer get together, we began recording via file-sharing. Don came on board fall of 2020. Jeremy Tappero did all the mixing and drums at his studio in Bloomington, MN. He currently plays bass with Soul Asylum. Lee Laski started as our new drummer in 2022, shortly after the first album was released in May of that year.  

Loved seeing you perform live. You played some new songs, what's the target date for that release?  We are just starting to record another new song. The target is to get the album out in 2024 sometime. There will probably be vinyl on this one.  

On Bandcamp it states, "Tracy Benton, bodhran on ‘Three Things,’" any relation? Sister.  

Tell me more about The Waterdogs. Not familiar with them. Are they still a band?  The Waterdogs were an instrumental Rock band active from 1984 to 2017. The other members were Lee Laski, Ernie Conner, John Hauser, and Don Irwin. Lee, Ernie, and Don were also playing with roots rockin’ The Rousers all that time. John Hauser came from Paul Black’s band. There were two Waterdogs albums, Live from 1986 (cassette only) and Thermal from 2000 (CD only). There was also a 7” single, “Hawaii 5-0/Theme From Spydog” in 1988.  

Any suggestions for new bands breaking into the business?  Just do what you love and maybe something will happen. Team up with a good songwriter and be there to lend your talents and serve their songs. And let go of your ego.  

Favorite tour?  Spooner was the only band that really toured, mainly in a ten-state area. We played as far west as Lawrence, KS, and east to NYC, where we played the Peppermint Lounge, and Metropole in Pittsburgh as well. All the rest of my bands were more regional.  

I used go to Merlyn's both nights when you played a weekend. However; the first time I saw you, you opened for The Cretones (my first visit to Merlyn's as well). What were some of your favorite Spooner moments?  The Merlyn’s gigs were usually special. There were some clubs we played fairly regularly where our following was sizable, Teddy’s in Milwaukee (now Shank Hall), The B&B in Oshkosh, Lefty’s in Green Bay, Fitzgerald’s in Berwyn, IL, and Tut’s in Chicago. We did a lot of openers. A few that stood out were Marshall Crenshaw in DeKalb, IL and Bloomington, IN; Question Mark &The Mysterians at Tut’s, The Police at Headliners in Madison, and Joe Ely at Fitzgerald’s. The shows on the UW campus were always great too, Great Hall and The Terrace.  

What’s your favorite song to perform live? Why?  For the ghost particles it would be “All The Love.”  

Beautiful song with a kick! How did that song come about?  Well, you’d have to ask Phil about any initial inspiration. He sent us the file of the basic structure and we all put it together. I played the fuzz guitar parts and the synth strings as well because Don wasn’t yet with us at that time. I also used an EBow on the break. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXLlReHDkiE&t=9s  

What’s your favorite cover of another band?  Maybe “Mr. Tambourine Man,” because it’s so recent with ghost particles, or “Roadrunner “ (Modern Lovers), which Spooner did.  

You did a great version of "Tambourine Man." Loved Spooner's version of "Roadrunner" as well. Did you see Jonathan Richman when he played Merlyn's?  I did see JR at Merlyn’s, and at O’Cayz as well.  

Favorite venue to perform at?  Merlyn’s in Madison, 1979 to 1983.  

Who would you like to work with if you could?  I’d like to work with Duke Erikson again. We were working on recording some songs for which he wrote the music, and I wrote the lyrics, about six years ago. He became very busy with Garbage again.  

Would love to hear those songs! I’m hoping it will happen. What type of music?  All Pop/Rock songs, more like Spooner.  

When writing a song, what comes first, lyrics or melody?  I’m not really a prolific songwriter. With my long-running instrumental band The Waterdogs, I wrote everything on guitar, of course, and it was primarily lyrics with Spooner.  

If you could switch to any other type of music, what would it be? Why?  I love Reggae and the rhythmic possibilities, but that ain’t gonna happen.  

Any new bands you like or would recommend?  I listen to tons of music, both new and old. I think The National are great.  

Top Ten desert island discs? (10 albums you couldn’t live without.)  That’s a tough one, but here are some favorites off the top of my head. Love Forever Changes; Roxy Music (1st album); The National Boxer and High Violet;  Jackson Browne For Everyman; The Jayhawks Sound Of Lies and Smile; Beach Boys All Summer Long; Hawkwind Warrior On The Edge Of Time; Art Pepper Meets The Rhythm Section. Just the tip of my big iceberg there.  

Finish this sentence: I want to be remembered for…being fair and kind, and being a solid Garage-level guitarist. I hope you’ve learned a little more about Dave and why I think he’s a legend in the Madison music scene. You can see why I wanted to jump at the chance to learn more about him and his music. Be sure to check out his music below.

[feminexisting]

The Beautiful Between by Alyssa B. Sheinmel

I've presumably owned this book for a few years now, though I don't remember buying it. It's an Advanced Readers copy as proclaimed by print on the cover, and I bought it for $0.50. I assume it came from a garage sale or a thrift shop, but not one that I usually go to. I think I chose to read this book because I wanted something short and fast because I knew I wouldn't be in the mood for reading a book since my father had a double bypass surgery for his heart this month. In fact, I almost didn't read any book at all this month, but managed to read this one in less than two weeks after feeling bad for nearly breaking the streak.

The premise is that Connelly Sternin has lived for almost her entire life not knowing how her father died, only that he was dead. After his death, she and her mother became a little more distant following young Connelly's asking about his death, and ever since then Connelly has avoided the subject, instead telling classmates that her father and mother had a bad divorce rather than admitting his death and not having answers for the questions that were sure to follow. Then, everything changes when Jeremy Cole, the most popular boy in the school, befriends Connelly, and, with him, his little sister, Kate. As Connelly and Jeremy become closer, she learns the real reason he sought out her friendship: because Kate is sick with leukemia, the same thing that killed Connelly's father. She's shocked when Jeremy tells her this, because she didn't even know that he was sick. But, there's more to the story she learns as she digs deeper. Finally, when Kate succumbs to her sickness, Jeremy pleas for Connelly to find out the truth for her own sake, and she has a hard conversation with her mother that ultimately reveals the truth: her father was depressed and went off of his antidepressants for chemotherapy, but because of this, he killed himself by overdose. The truth finally sets Connelly free.

Listen, I... really don't have a lot to say about this book. I read this book once a decade ago, when I was a teenager, probably roughly 15. I only know this because I actually corrected a few grammatical/spelling/punctuation errors and dated the corrections back then. I can, I believe, remember actually thinking the book wasn't very good even back then. About 60 pages from the end, I see a remnant of the past, from the first time I read this book - I had finally noticed (or, perhaps, had noticed before and only finally decided to mention it) one of the numerous typos the book had and deigned to correct it in pencil, then dated it: 10-8-2023. A few pages later, I corrected another mistake and dated it 10-18-2023, ten days later. A little over a month short of a decade, from the time I was writing this observation originally (rewriting it for the summary puts me at about a week, give or take a few days, out). This book doesn't wow me at all, doesn't impress me, and up until this point I was positive it would be on the donate pile. It still is, but... I also kind of want to keep it, just for the past that's there. How funny.

Now then, on to the meat of the story. Or, rather, the main character: Connelly Sternin. Connelly goes to a rich private school, the type that children of celebrities go to, is raised by her single widowed mother, in a two bedroom apartment in New York City. This, of course, all speaks to money. Connelly of course is quick to admit that she ISN'T rich, not like those other rich people and celebrities, just that they're comfortable. A rich main character isn't really an issue, I don't think (although, make no mistake, most of the YA books I've read with rich main characters have been pretty bad), but the richness is the last in a line of things that make Connelly unbearable. Connelly acts as though she's no big deal, often putting herself down, but she also simultaneously tries to stand apart from the crowd and separate herself, acting very high and mighty. She laments not having any friends, while simultaneously refusing to get close to anybody, not even her classmates/lunchmates. She's nearly obsessed with comparing herself to a fairy tale princess; her most favorite is Rapunzel, but I'm pretty sure she also mentioned Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Cinderella, and Snow White. She feels like she's "locked up in a tower" (her apartment, by her mother, whom she admits isn't really an evil witch, but still a jailer of sorts, although I believe the mother's only real sin was grieving- though I digress) and like she's "been waiting for a prince to save her all her life". Everything about her screams entitled and the like the type of girl who thinks she isn't "like other girls". She laments her loneliness while simultaneously trying to push away everybody who she deems unworthy of her attention. She's very grating, very annoying, and exactly what you might expect the type of nerdy girl who goes to a private rich kid school would be like.

Connelly admits multiple times throughout the book that she doesn't see her lunchmates/classmates as being her friends. Her closest acquaintances are Alexis Bryant and Emily Winters. Emily Winters seems to be the one to start conversations more often with Connelly, and they've known each other since they were very young girls, probably at least first grade. When Emily asks Connelly if she and Jeremy are dating at one point later in the book, Connelly wonders if she and Emily are even close enough to talk about that, or if she only cares because she wants gossip. I have to say, the fact that she didn't know speaks a lot. I don't know if Emily actually sees Connelly as a friend or just an acquaintance, but even I felt hurt at the insinuation that Emily wasn't allowed the curiosity. As for Alexis, well... where do I begin? Alexis has anorexia. We know this not just because of the rumors of it flying around school, but also because every day at lunch Alexis will spend the entire lunch period cutting up a single leaf of lettuce into tiny pieces and then eating them as slowly as possible. In fact, this behavior is something that Connelly and Jeremy, once he befriends her, sit and stare at for multiple days. They even talk about it and make jokes about it and liken it to watching a train wreck because they can't look away. Connelly thinks Alexis secretly likes the attention. Connelly also says that nobody cares about Alexis's anorexia because it is, and I quote, "so 90s." At one point in the book, Alexis is sent to hospital/rehab for her anorexia, and all Connelly says about it is that she hears rumors that people aren't sure if it's rehab for meth or if it was for the anorexia. And to this all I have to say is... wow. I know I shouldn't be surprised at these types of attitudes, especially from a book written in 2010 or earlier, but still. I felt so, so painfully bad for Emily and especially for Alexis. For Emily, it was sad because she seemed to genuinely think she and Connelly were friends, whereas for Alexis it was sad because seemingly nobody really worried about her, or, at least, the person she ate lunch with every day didn't, and only cared enough to watch her eat. Connelly laments "never having had a best friend", but to me it seems as though she brought it entirely on herself. She is the one to blame.

Frankly, Jeremy was a more interesting character than Connelly. He was the "prince" of the high school (in Connelly's words), able to easily flit between all the social groups. His family is the top of the pecking order, the highest of the high. His little sister is dying but he's trying to put on a brave face and can't tell anybody about it. He seeks out Connelly because he just so happens to hear that her father also had the same sickness Kate had, and he needs help to understand, or, at least, to come to terms with it all. He was on top of the world until it all came crashing down with her death. Still, despite it all, he tried to be there for Connelly. I think all of that makes him much more interesting than the actual main character we had.

Four things I thought were good or interesting about the book: the first is that, knowing that Kate was going to die thanks to the previous time I read the book, the blatant foreshadowing of her death was kind of funny. Two, Kate and Jeremy's families were both Jewish. Theoretically, I could point out that making your rich characters Jewish could be a slippery slope, but I think the author might be Jewish, so it's okay. Although I wish there was more talk about Jewish cultural practices and things, what little we got was interesting, so it's okay. Third, Connelly's dad dying from suicide was genuinely a surprise. I truly did not expect it, and only caught on to it about two sentences before it was explicitly stated. My running theory, up until that point, was that he was executed in prison after getting incarcerated and put on death row for a terrible crime, like rape or murder or something. This was because throughout the book it was described as though his death was something horrible, never to be spoken of. I was relieved when that was all it was. Fourth, and finally, I liked Kate. She was very endearing, which was exactly what she was meant to be, so I guess the author did a good job at that.

This book had a lot of errors (typos and punctuation errors mostly). I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and assume that a lot of them were cleaned up before final printing, since this was an advanced reader's copy, but it was VERY noticeable while reading. One other thing I want to say which wouldn't fit elsewhere in this review and which I don't want to give it's own paragraph, is that Connelly had taken a picture of her mom and dad when they were roughly her age and kept it in a copy of A Farewell To Arms, a book which, if I remember correctly, was one of her dad's favorites. She also mentions that her mom often goes into her room to borrow things, including her books. I greatly wish that her mom would've borrowed that book from her and opened it to see that picture, a picture which was kept locked away in her mom's desk and which her mom would've immediately recognized as being a picture that she shouldn't have had. I think that would've been a good time for a confrontation, either the main confrontation (asking how the father died), or even just the mom slightly-hysterically asking why she's got that picture. That's all.

One final grievance was that I felt that Connelly and her mom's reconciliation was too fast. The entire book has led up to this moment, this exact moment, but we were rushed to it. Rather than taking place immediately after Kate's funeral (as in, her body is barely in the ground and they're doing this), it should have happened at a different time. Before the funeral, afterwards, I don't care so long as it doesn't happen at just that time. By happening at that time, it overshadows the funeral and Jeremy's own grief. One thing I did like, however, about the reconciliation, was the talk that Connelly's mom had with her, about how she will eventually grow to hate her father for leaving them, and how she's going to think he abandoned them, and how her mom had to admit that she also felt that way at first, but eventually she was able to look past it and see the truth that he was deeply hurting and tortured.

In the end, really not a great book, and I'm left remembering why exactly I disliked reading it the first time. 1.5/5.

My bookmark for this book was a neon yellow-green ribbon knotted at both ends. I also found a post-it note, white, with what looked like intelligible imprints of pencil or pen upon it, which I presumably used while reading the book the first time, and which I used for the last few pages of the book.

[fazbear-security]

The arcade was always quiet around the middle of June. The younger children were still in school, and most teenagers would rather spend their freshly-minted summer days playing the larger selection at cabinets at Eglantine’s Arcade Emporium downtown than the paltry few brand-specific games at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.

And for the teenaged staff who worked the afternoon shift at the pizzeria, that was just fine.

“So...did you open it yet?” Jeremy Jr. asked as he leaned over the prize counter, looking pointedly at the the manila envelope poking out of his coworker’s unzipped bag sitting against the side of the counter. Said coworker shook her head as she finished tearing open a plastic merchandise bag, and started digging for its contents with one arm.

“Not yet.” Sasha shrugged as she tossed another Foxy plush up towards Ashton, who was balanced on the stepladder to restock the higher shelves. “I'm gonna wait for my break, because if it’s what I think it is, I’m probably going to cry.” She admitted. “And I don’t want to cry on the party floor, you know?”

“It’s not like there’s anybody around to see you, ‘cept us.” Jeremy Jr. grinned wide behind his glasses. “What do you think it is? Is it your college acceptance letter?”

“Pfft. No.” Sasha laughed out loud as she wrestled a child sized Chica doll out of its box and plastic bag next. “I’m not smart enough to skip senior year.”

“B***h, yes you are.” Ashton argued from atop the ladder, ignoring Jeremy Jr.’s hurried hush (”Language!”). “You took the final in three languages last year.”

“Because I failed the first two and Mr. Riggins put in a good word with the principle to get me both retakes.” Sasha set the Chica doll on the counter against the wall and smoothed out a wrinkle in her bib. “Being multilingual doesn’t make you a genius.”

“I disagree.” Ashton made grabby hands at the Chica doll until Sasha tossed it up to him, and he slotted it into the last open spot on the top shelf. “Some people can barely speak one language, you know.”

“Yeah, we call those people ‘customers’.” Jeremy Jr. planted his hands on the countertop and hoisted himself up to sit on the glass, ignoring Ashton’s disapproving glare. “Come on, Sasha! Show us what’s in the envelope! Isn’t it burning a hole through you?”

“Not as much as it is you, apparently.” Sasha lied with a smile. It was, in fact, burning a hole in her. She was sure (95-98%) that she knew what awaited her inside. She didn’t need to double check. She could wait until her lunch break in thirty minutes.

.......

“....okay, fine.” Sasha snatched the envelope out of her bag and climbed up to join Jeremy Jr. on the countertop. Ashton glared at the both of them for getting hand prints all over his nice, clean counter, but only hopped down from the ladder and stood on his toes to look over their shoulders as Sasha broke the seal on the envelope and fished out its contents.

She stared at the papers in silence, for a minute, before beginning to flip through them - checking all the initials and signatures, even though she’d seen them just months before. She’d gotten all dressed up in a fancy dress and heels, and shaken hands with the judge who’d signed on the bottom of all these pages. Right beneath Mike, and right beneath Jodie.

Her mom. Officially. Legally.

Sasha let the papers fall back together and took a breath that was shakier than she’d have liked to admit. She’d been an active participate in this process, but something about seeing their copies of the paperwork in full felt...different. More real. More final.

“Oh sh*t, I thought this legal stuff took months to come through.” Ashton laughed, but his tone was entirely benign. Sasha felt her eyes begin to sting as her coworkers threw their arms around her in a gangly hug. “Congrats, Sash!” Even though Jeremy Jr’s glasses were digging into her cheek, and the hard edge of Ashton’s name badge was pressing uncomfortably into her arm, the teenager didn’t push them off right away. She let herself be squished into the awkward, genuine hug for a few brief seconds before wiggling herself free and jumping off the counter.

“I gotta find Mike!” She left her bag sitting beside the counter and ran out of the prize corner, stuffing the papers quickly back into the envelope as she ran.

“Hey! There’s, like, three boxes left to unpack!” Ashton shouted after her. Jeremy Jr. adjusted his glasses.

“Ah, let her go. She’ll be back in a few minutes, anyway.” He jumped to the floor, himself, and reached for one of the remaining boxes. “This one’s full of those limited edition keychains. Do you have space for those?”

[just-another-blog-of-fluff]

A Prank Worthy of the Blooper Reel

Word count: 2,100

Pairing: Marvel cast x female reader

Warnings: none that I can think of

By request - this is the sequel to On Set Pranks (part 3 to Bloopers). I'm not the greatest at coming up with pranks, but I hope this one is at least somewhat amusing! 😊😅

In case anyone hasn't figured this out yet - I have absolutely no concept of what really happens on a movie set. I'm probably way off, but it works for the idea that I had, so I'm just rolling with it!

Read first: Part 1 | Part 2

"Psst - Seb!"

You had your head poked out of your dressing room, trying to catch Seb's attention as he walked past. He turned at the sound of your whispering, and you motioned for him to come inside. He glanced around warily for a moment, then quickly slipped inside your room as you shut the door behind him.

"You sure it's a good idea for us to be seen fraternizing like this?" he asked, his voice hushed. "People might get the wrong idea."

"Nobody else was around, you saw yourself," you assured. "Now - do you have the scripts?"

He reached into the bag slung over his shoulder, removing a stack of paper with a flourish. "Ready to go."

"Excellent."

You turned to Tom where he sat on your dressing room sofa across the room. He had a sly grin on his face, one that suited the Loki costume he already had on for the day's rehearsal.

"You know your lines, right?" you asked him.

"Of course I do. Can't risk any blunders, now, can we?"

"Perfect." You grinned. "Seb, do you think you could manage to slip these scripts in place of the real ones before rehearsal starts?"

"Oh, don't worry. You know those three are always the last ones on set."

"Alright, good. Let's get going then."

You exited your dressing room, checking the hallway for any passerby before motioning for Seb and Tom to follow. If this prank was going to work, no one could know the three of you were collaborating. It was sure to raise suspicion.

It had been a few months since you started filming the Avengers movie, and you finally began opening up to your cast mates. It was perfect timing to play a huge prank on the unsuspecting actors - you were comfortable enough to play around and joke with them, but they would never suspect you would pull something. Especially nothing of the scale you were planning.

You had to enlist Tom's help to get this prank to work, since he would play a critical role in what you'd come up with. There was a scene coming up in which the Avengers would have to request help from Loki to be able to find a way onto Jotunheim undetected. It does take some convincing, of course, but Loki ultimately agrees to assist them. However, you thought it might be more interesting to embellish on that scene a bit - make the heroes grovel for his assistance. So, with Tom's help, you'd written a few modifications into a false copy of the script where Iron Man, Captain America, and Hawkeye would need to beg Loki to earn his help. You knew the actors would balk at this, which made it all the more amusing.

Seb had asked you months prior to be sure to include him when you decided to pull a prank on Chris Evans for the first time. You needed someone to help swap the scripts of the three actors, and so you requested his assistance. He was more than happy to join forces with the two of you, especially since he knew he wouldn't be on the receiving end of this prank.

The director was unaware of this little script swap, but you knew she would appreciate the prank all the same. It was only a staging rehearsal, so you wouldn't be ruining any actual takes for the scene. There was still a good chance it would be caught on film, however.

Many of the crewmembers were already on set when you'd arrived, but only a couple of the cast members were floating around the set, and none of your three targets were present. Seb had been right in that regard. Tom curbsided the director to discuss something about the day's scene, and Seb snuck the false scripts in place of Robert, Jeremy, and Chris's copies. No one outside of you three conspirers were privy to the swap. Everything was working out perfectly.

Once everyone had finally arrived on set, the director called for the actors to set up for the first scene of the day - the one you'd doctored as your prank. You watched from off to the side as the actors flipped through their scripts, trying your hardest to keep a straight face as you watched Chris's brow furrow and Robert tilt his head in confusion.

"I don't remember this part," Jeremy stated, pointing to a section on his script. Tom leaned over his shoulder to read the section, feigning complete ignorance.

"Oh, yes - I'd heard the director made a couple modifications to the script. I suppose she must have wanted the scene to be more dramatic."

"Hmph," Robert huffed, scowling. "I'm gonna have a real hard time staying in character for this."

"OK - quiet on the set everyone, let's get ready to rehearse!"

The director's call interrupted the grumbling of the three actors, and they reluctantly got into position to practice the scene. Seb stepped up beside you to watch, nudging you subtly with his elbow.

"Can't wait," he whispered.

The beginning of the scene began as originally planned. The three heroes have arrived in New Asgard where Loki is residing and are in the process of consulting with him for his assistance. Understandably, Loki is hesitant to oblige, given their less-than-amicable history. The heroes begin to bargain with him, becoming desperate.

That's when the scene took a turn off the original course, and your prank began to unfold.

"Oh-ho, I like this," Tom declared in his Loki voice, a broad, mischievous grin painted across his features. He began pacing slowly in front of them, his eyes never leaving theirs. "How the tables have turned. Three of the proudest benevolent heroes, groveling at my feet for help." He paused, turning to face the men more fully. "Perhaps you all should be kneeling before me. Why should I agree to anything if you can't even grovel properly to the royal Prince of Asgard?"

Chris, Robert, and Jeremy glanced at one another, cringing at what they were about to do. It was difficult to tell if their expressions were to keep in character, or if they truly felt ridiculous kneeling to the God of Mischief. In any case, the three of them obliged as written in the script, dropping to their knees.

"Uhh... cut!" the director called out. "What are you three doing?"

"Just following the script," Chris responded, picking himself up off the floor.

"That's not in the script. Though, it is funny! Definitely worthy of the blooper reel!"

"It's right here! Tom told us you made some-"

You could see the second it dawned on the three men that they'd been tricked. Realization sparked across their faces, and the three of them turned to look at Tom with wide eyes.

"You little sneak!" Robert exclaimed, unable to hide his grin despite being on the receiving end of the prank. "That was very 'Loki' of you, Hiddleston."

"Hehey - it wasn't my idea! I can't take full credit, I only played the part," Tom responded, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Who's idea was it, then?" Jeremy demanded, although he, too, had a poorly hidden grin on his face. Tom pointed toward you and Seb where you stood off set.

"I should have known you were involved in this!" Chris lamented, shaking his head at Sebastian.

"Uh-uh, it was her idea," Seb insisted, pointing at you and taking a step away to prove he wasn't allotted with your scheme.

"Wow. I knew this day would come, but damn I didn't expect you to pull that big of a prank for your first one!" Robert exclaimed, stepping over toward where you stood.

"We're going to have to come up with something huge to get back at you... you got us in the bloopers," Jeremy added, feigning anger. Anxious at the idea of getting revenge-pranked by the three actors, you shook your head, pointing at Seb.

"It wasn't me, it was him!! Don't lie to them, Seb!" you insisted. Seb turned to look at you with his mouth agape.

"What?? Oh, hell no, you're not putting the blame on me!"

"Seriously - are you guys going to believe him over me?" you inquired of the three prank victims.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Seb demanded.

"No, no... she's got a point, Seb," Chris interjected, nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, you're the one who's pulled pranks on us in the past. She's never done anything. At least, not to us," Jeremy added, folding his arms sternly.

"Looks like it's Seb we've got to plot our revenge on," Robert declared.

Seb glanced speechlessly at all three men, then returned his gaze to you. You flashed him a haughty smirk. No way were you going to take the fall for this after Seb tried throwing you under the bus the minute Tom pointed in your direction.

"Looks like you'd better watch your back," you taunted, adding insult to injury. Seb's eyebrows shot up in surprise at your brazenness.

"Me? Nah, you're the one in trouble."

He grabbed hold of your sides and kneaded his fingertips rapidly into the soft skin. You doubled over with a burst of laughter, twisting around to break free from his grip and run.

"Oh no, I'm not finished with you," he growled, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and continuing his ticklish assault on your sides and belly.

"SEHEB thehey're still WOHORKING!!" you protested.

"Right." He paused for a moment, turning toward the set with you still held tight against his chest. "Keep going - I'll give her back when her scene comes up!"

"NOHO!" You began squirming and giggling again as he picked up where he left off, fingers traveling up and down your sides and ribcage.

"Bet you regret lying now, don't you?" Seb teased, scratching faster at your ribs when he realized your laughter pitched up. "I graciously offered to help you and you sell me out?? Not cool."

"Ahalright Ihi'm SOHORRY!!"

"You gonna admit it was you then?" he asked, slowing his fingers to scratch at your sides gently so you could speak more coherently.

"Ihi... ihit was Tom's idea," you giggled.

"Oh, was it, now?"

You squeaked in surprise when you heard Tom's voice behind you, turning your head to find him standing a few feet behind you and Seb.

"Uhh... kidding! I was kidding!" you stammered. Tom stepped around the pair of you to stand in front of you, a pitying smile on his face.

"Oh, darling... it's far too late for that."

He slotted his fingers under your arms before you had the chance to react, wriggling his fingertips into your highest ribs. With a giggly screech, you began thrashing in a failed attempt to both escape Seb's grasp and shake Tom's fingers away from the spaces under your arms.

"OHOKAY! IT WAHAS MY IDEA!" you cried, unable to take it when Seb began scratching at your sides again. Both of them ceased their attack, satisfied with your admission of guilt. Seb released you, and you stumbled a few steps away to put distance between you and your attackers as you rubbed the residual tingles off your sides.

"You gonna go tell the other guys that?" Seb asked warningly.

"Oh, we all knew it was her."

You, Tom, and Seb looked up to see the three prank victims standing at the edge of the set staring at you with self-assured grins on their faces.

"You knew?" you asked incredulously.

"Yep," Robert confirmed. "Figured we'd save ourselves the trouble of coming up with a revenge prank when you got yourself in trouble with Seb."

"And you going on to blame Tom was just an added bonus," Chris added with a smirk. You groaned, face burning under their gazes.

"I will get you guys someday, mark my words," you warned teasingly. Turning to Tom and Seb, you added, "You guys too!"

"Sure that's a good idea?" Seb queried, wiggling his fingers toward you. The heat in your cheeks intensified as you took a step back.

"Not today! Not today! I promise!" you protested. Chuckling, Seb lowered his hands to his sides.

The guys returned to their scene staging, and you took a seat off to the side to await your next scene. You certainly hadn't lost your affinity for pranks, but you did have one thing on your mind:

You couldn't wait to watch the blooper reel.

[issaxcharlie]

We say we're friends, we play pretend (1/2)

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem reader

Summary: Charlie and Y/N were best friends and a couple as teens, after their breakup they meet again 4 years later on the bootcamp of JATP and have to work together. Will something else happen or they are just friends?

Charlie must have imagined something like this could happen. Since Kenny discovered her 5 years ago, she has been a really close friend to the director, participating in some way or another in almost all his projects.

In front of him after years, Y/N Y/L, his childhood best friend and ex-girlfriend. The young actor is not going to admit that he saw every single one of her projects or how moved he was by her in each one of them, many times even thinking of maybe sending her a little message saying the incredible job she did.

But he never found the courage.

It’s weird to remember how he spent most of his life next to the woman, now one of the top youth artists with multiple musicals and movies on her hits list. They always had a strong bond, every single day together. Sleepovers, music classes, dancing classes, homework, parties, movie nights, hockey, illness days, pretty much everything. At the age of 15 they began a very sweet and innocent relationship that ended at 18 when Y/N moved to New York to work in her first leading role.

The break up was on good terms but painful, so painful that both preferred to lose contact completely than to have the other from time to time opening the wound again and again.

And there she was. As beautifil as ever, speaking happily with Kenny while Madison and Owen jump up and down, Jeremy smiles and Charlie looks like he wants to throw up.

“Y/N Y/L, my golden star. She is the official composer of the soundtrack, and she will be supporting you throughout the album process as well as helping Paul and me in other creative aspects, I know she is the same age as some of you but she has a lot of experience in this and all the necessary preparation so don't hesitate to get all the knowledge you can out of her."

Everyone introduces themselves until the guitarist is the only one left, luckily for him, he’s in voice rest these two weeks so he literally cannot speak.

They both look nervous but the moment their eyes meet their complicity comes out and both smile slightly.

“He’s Charlie, he is in voice rest but we are fans of yours. We cried yesterday watching your last musical, it was just brilliant." Owen lets out hardly breathing, Y/N turns with a smile to see the Canadian boy who wants to kill his friend and then commit suicide.

“Thank you! This is going to be such an interesting experience.” The singer murmurs as she winks at Charlie.

2 hours later they had both been avoiding each other, Y/N writing in a corner while the band and Kenny discuss costumes with Soyon, in which at least half an hour has been wasted trying to understand what Charlie is trying to say with the few words he writes with an apple pencil on his ipad in his horrible handwritting.

Y/N gets frustrated and goes to where they are, approaching behind Charlie's shoulder to see the iPad. She quickly identifies the two words, one so crossed out that it looks like a doodle, but years copying each other's homework pays off.

"He's trying to say that if Luke isn't going to wear bandanas, at least consider wearing beanies." The young woman says as she leans on the shoulder of who was her first love.

Charlie freezes at their proximity, blushing a little at the feeling of being close after so long. Luckily his castmates don't realize it because all their attention is on her.

“You are just good for everything huh? Even deciphering hieroglyphs." Owen comments, smiling at her and winking exaggeratedly to make her laugh.

Charlie can't help but feel insecure with the situation. It could be a friendly thing but If Owen really tries to flirt with her, he doesn't know how he would react. Is sad enough not having her in his life anymore, having her as his best friend's girlfriend would just be too painful.

Now, he knows he’s exaggerating, and a lot. But he has to do something about it. Better safe than sorry.

He stretches his neck to meet the eyes of his ex-girlfriend, who is now only inches away. She quickly gets flustered, but hides it pretty well. The problem is that he knows every gesture perfectly and sees through her mask.

“Wh- What, Gillespie?” She manages to say, Charlie can’t help a smile seeing the way she still reacts towards him.

When you know a person completely, every facet, every gesture, every peculiarity, speaking without words is as natural as breathing. And they had both forgotten how amazing it feels to have someone in your life who is this compatible and magnetic.

They start a conversation, she answers to who secretly still believes as her person while he continues making gestures and mimics that no one else understands, writing a word from time to time to make the talk flow better.

"I know. Hey, it's not my fault! So you excuse yourself with the ‘can't talk’ thing huh? how convenient. Yeah, Ok, I will. I said I will!" Her words are the only thing that they manage to get out of the conversation that the secret ex-couple is having, since no matter how much attention they pay to him, they have no idea how Y/N manages to decipher it.

"I have no idea what's going on but I'll take it as a miracle, I was just going to suggest ignoring Charlie these 2 weeks." Jeremy jokes, everyone nods their heads.

“I mean, it’s still a good option.” Madison replies.

The 14 days go by quickly, and with the former couple spending time together daily, rehearsing Charlie's guitar solos together, with Y/N translating his horrible scribbles, or sometimes simply being close to each other enjoying the company, absentmindedly placing their hand on the other's leg or their forehead on their shoulder for a few seconds during the breaks.

Basically the whole team has noticed the flirtatious smiles and the looks, but Charlie was the weakest rival of both and the one who could release some information about it, and without being able to speak they basically ran out of an informant, since the young singer didn’t let go a word about her unexpected chemistry with the guitarist except the typical ‘we are just good friends’.

But without a doubt the energies began to multiply on Monday when Charlie arrived with the green light to be able to speak and start singing in rehearsals. Madison couldn't attend the first few hours because she was at school, so Y/N was going to cover her so the boys could practice.

“The first on the list is Finally Free, the place where we are going to record it only gave us two weeks from now so it will have to be one of the priorities. For the first rehearsal just vibe with the song and we’ll discover where to go from there. Oh, and good luck keeping up with my golden star, you’ll need it."

Y/N starts the first verse on the keyboard, and gets up to sing the chorus in the center, trying to ignore Charlie and looking up at Jeremy. She hadn’t heard him sing for a couple of years, but the same butterflies appear in her stomach and she knows that she will melt if she looks into his eyes.

Unfortunately for her, Kenny doesn't have the same plan, and just before the second verse ends he tells her to walk over to Charlie, who immediately smiles and sings the pre-chorus with much more enthusiasm. The energy they radiate floods the place, both getting closer and closer. By the time the bridge arrives, their foreheads are practically against each other, their lips only an inch apart, and with a confidence and comfort while singing to each other that makes all those who suspected that there was something between them now practically sure.

Luckily there are only Jeremy, Kenny, Owen and Paul in the room, who decide to play a game of divide and conquer now that the snitch part of the equation can speak.

“Y/N, can you come with me for a moment? I have a new idea for ‘Wow’ and a fresh pair of eyes is just what I need.” Paul says, sacrificing himself for the greater good.

“Yeah, of course, I’ll be right back.” The singer takes the opportunity to leave this staring game with Charlie and quickly walks away from the guitarist, who winks at her in a flirting way in response.

The moment they walk out the door, everyone turns to see Charlie, who has no idea what they're up to.

“What?”

"After what just happened you just can't keep pretending nothing's happening. Man, that was more intense than the whole Troyella moments during all three movies." Kenny pretends to be offended for a second and then nods.

"I have never seen anything like this in all my years of career."

“Yeah dude it was electric.” Owen replies, smirking.

“She’s my person.” Charlie mumbles.

If he’s being honest with himself, deep down he always knew she was the only one for him. But that realization was freaking scary. What's next if the only person for you has already turned the page? gave up without a fight? what's left?

"What?" The three ask in unison, and Charles begins to sing like a bird.

“We grew up together and then we lost the way. Like in those romantic movies where just everyone knows they belong together except the childhood best friends and then they end up ruining their lives by being in denial.”

“From what I saw getting back on track shouldn't be too difficult, Charlie. I assure you that whatever you feel she feels it too. Her eyes don’t lie." Jeremy tries to reason with him.

“Leave your teen problems behind. You are old enough to decide what you want and find a way to make it work. But you have to stop pretending that nothing is happening first." Owen scolds his friend.

“Do you love her?” Jer asks.

“That answer is always going to be yes, I just could never stop loving her even If I tried. And I did.” He really did. The surprise he got when the second he had her close to him his heart began to beat like crazy and all he wanted was to hug her and fix everything. It was as if when seeing her eyes time hadn’t passed, as if only the day before they’d been goofing around together. That bond is so big that he doesn’t believe it’s possible to break.

“Then do something about it, bro! Go get your girl back!” Jeremy advises while Kenny smiles.

“Yeah man, it’s ‘Now or never’ like her song, and I guess ours too now? Since she wrote it for Sunset Curve? Well, anyway, it’s like our song says.” Owen exclaims excitedly.

“Ohhh, musical inspiration, let me try. ‘Get up, get out, relight that spark’.” Jeremy sings to Charlie.

“Jer, you are a genius. If you think about it wake up is actually a pretty good soundtrack song for this situation. ‘It's not what you lost, It's what you'll gain raising your voice in the rain’.”

They both keep singing the song until they reach the bridge, Charlie tries to look frustrated but a slight smile escapes his face.

They are right, he still hasn't lost this fight.

👻PART 2 RIGHT HERE

[alisonsfics]

I Wish I Never Met Him

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Y/N’s ex stops by the BAU to try and win her back. Y/N isn’t at work yet, so her ex ends up talking to Spencer.

Word Count: 1.4k

It was a perfectly normal morning. Except for the fact that your alarm had not gone off and you woke up an hour late. You were scrambling around your apartment, grabbing your work bag and your bottle of water. And then you were running out the door and down to you car.

You got down to the parking garage and hopped in to your car. You finally checked your phone and saw that you had four unread text messages.

The first one was from your boyfriend, the one and only Doctor Spencer Reid.

Umm hey, are you coming in to work today? I don’t remember you saying you were taking a day off, and I kind of remember everything. So just let me know, hope nothing is wrong. I love you

The next one was from Emily.

Hey Y/N, so Spencer is kinda freaking out because you’re not here. Text me back when you can, we all want to make sure you’re alright!

The third one was from Derek.

Hey babydoll, you wake up late or something? Nobody knows where you are and we’re all starting to get worried. Let me know.

The last one was from Penelope.

Y/N, the light of my life, we are missing your smile at the office today. Hope everything is okay xx

You sighed to yourself, you hoped that you hadn’t made them worry too much. You sent them all back the same copy and pasted response:

Yeah I’m fine, I promise. I woke up super late, I should be in as soon as I can get there. Sorry if I made you worry!

Then, you sent a quick text to Hotch, because you liked your job and you didn’t want to lose it.

Then you put your car key in the ignition and started to drive to work, but you didn’t know about what was unfolding down at the office.

Your text had calmed the whole team down, even Hotch had been beginning to get worried. Once they all knew you were safe and simply overslept, it was back to work as normal.

However, a havoc-reeking force was about to walk through the front doors of the BAU.

Jeremy. Your ex-boyfriend.

You had broken up with about a year ago, he didn’t understand why you prioritized your job. And he definitely didn’t understand the importance of your job. About three months later, you started dating Spencer. You had some feelings for Spencer for a while, but only allowed yourself to explore that once Jeremy was gone. However, you never told Spencer or any of the rest of team about Jeremy.

Jeremy had just walked into the bullpen and his eyes glanced around the room. He was looking for you. “Hey man, can I help you?” Derek asked, seeing the man who was clearly lost. “Oh...umm I’m looking for Y/N” Jeremy said.

With mention of your name, Spencer turned around in his chair. “She’s not here right now, who are you?” Spencer asked the strange man. Spencer knew that he had never met the man before and wondered who he was.

“I’m her boyfriend” Jeremy replied. This gets the whole teams attention. They all knew for a fact that you and Spencer were together and had been for a while. “This should be good” Morgan muttered to himself.

“Oh really? She never mentioned you” Spencer said, enjoying the fact that Jeremy had no idea they all knew he was lying. “Yeah, we just got in a fight this morning. I came here to apologize” Jeremy lied. He had planned that part of his alibi.

“So you got in a fight this morning, assumably you both live together? But you didn’t know she hadn’t even left for work yet?” Spencer said, loving how easily he could pick apart his fake alibi. Jeremy froze, why was he surprised, these people were profilers. They dealt with liars all the time.

“Oh no, she was staying at a friend’s house” Jeremy said, hoping they would buy it. “Well, if you want to come with me, I can bring you to an office you can wait in til Y/N gets here” Rossi said, clearly wanting to be in on the fun.

Derek and Emily both walked over to Spencer’s desk. “So who is that guy actually?” Emily asked. “I don’t know, he’s not Y/N’s boyfriend though, I know that” Spencer replied. “Come on Mr.Eidetic Memory, you’ve never seen him before?” Derek asked Reid.

“No, I’ve never seen him before. Although, Y/N mentioned having an ex-boyfriend named Jeremy once though” Reid said, as he remembered. “Looks like somebody is trying to win back your girl” Emily said, before walking back to her desk.

Then you walked into the bullpen. “Good luck with this” Morgan said, chuckling and walking back to his desk.

You noticed right away that Reid seemed tense. You sat your bag down at your desk and then walked over to Reid. “Hey, I’m so sorry I’m late. What’s going on? You look stressed” you told him, honestly. Reid looked like he was at a loss for words.

“Pretty boy met your boyfriend” Morgan chimed in. “Wait- my what? But Spencer is...” you started to ramble, trying to figure out what was going on. “Does the name Jeremy ring a bell?” Spencer asked you, smirking.

You froze, you recognized the name in an instant. You didn’t know why Spencer would bring him up, you had only mentioned him once. “Yeah, that’s my ex-boyfriend” you told him. “Well maybe you weren’t too clear on the broken up thing, cause he’s here and he said he was your boyfriend” Reid explained.

“Wait...Spence, you know that I haven’t talked to him since we broke up. I promise you, there is nothing going on” you assured Spencer, making sure he knew that Jeremy was a complete liar. “No no, I know that. I think it’s funny actually. He’s in the conference room, he doesn’t know I’m your actual boyfriend. I didn’t want to tell him til you got here” Spencer informed you.

You were relieved that Spencer found the situation funny, but equally confused as to why Jeremy was pretending you two were still together. “Come on, let’s pay Jeremy a visit” you said, grabbing Reid’s hand and pulling him out of his chair.

You both walked toward the conference room and Spencer opened the door for you and let you walk inside. “Here he is” Spencer said, smugly. “It’s been a while, Jeremy” you stated. “Do you mind? Can I have a moment alone with my girlfriend?” Jeremy asked, emphasizing the word girlfriend like he needed to prove himself to Spencer.

“Oh I’m sorry, do you mean MY girlfriend” Spencer shot back. “Wait what?” Jeremy asked, his eyes widening. “So Jeremy, how long has it been? A year? We have some catching up to do. This is Dr.Spencer Reid, my boyfriend” you told him, smirking.

The look on Jeremy’s face was priceless, he looked absolutely stunned. “So you knew I was lying and you still went along with it? Why did you do it?” Jeremy asked Spencer. “Why’d you lie?” Spencer countered.

“I think it’s best that I leave” Jeremy said, sighing. “I agree” I said, stepping closer to Reid so he could put his arm around my waist.

After he left, Spencer turned to leave, but I grabbed his hand. “Spence wait” you told him. He turned around to face you, “what’s wrong?” he asked you. “We should talk” you told him, simply. “About what?” He asked you, cluelessly.

You giggled to yourself. For a resident genius, sometimes he sure was oblivious. “I never told you about Jeremy, I don’t want it to seem like I’m hiding something. We broke up about a year ago, he just didn’t understand our job and he didn’t think it was important. So we broke up, and then a couple of months later, I started dating you” you said, smiling. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. You don’t owe me anything” Spencer told you.

“I know, but I wanted you to know. He doesn’t mean anything to me. I wish I never met him” you told him, honestly. You placed your hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. “So do I” Spencer joked back.

You instantly started laughing. “That was pretty good, doctor” you told him. He smiled and pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. “I love you Y/N” he whispered in your ear. “I love you more” you replied, simply.

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