#there's a lot of reasons i could point to but none of the specifics fully explain it really

[faggotry-enjoyer]

wait are you planning on converting to Judaism?? :000

Yup! Set myself a soft deadline to reach out to one of the shuls near me by the end of spring break so I should be talking to a rabbi fairly soon, though it'll be a minute until I can officially officially start. But yes, I'm planning to.

[mysumeow]

Hi! I'm new to this but may I request (and this might be a bit specific) Lyney x male/gn reader(whichever you prefer) who has regenerative powers similarly to Ajin (in which they are basically immortal and fully regenerate once they die) and is pretty reckless because of it, I just imagine Lyney not being able to take their eyes of reader due to them getting into lethal trouble most of the time while adventuring. (Love your work :D, Feel free to ignore if not interested)

──Lyney with a reader who's reckless wherever they go and whatever they do.

WARNINGS ❪ Reader death mentioned, reader gets repeatedly injured (very mild descriptions of it). GN pronouns and body. SUMMARY ❪ Reader has the special ability to regenerate whenever they die. Reader has fun with this power, but it's not as fun for the magician they befriended. WORD COUNT ❪ 698 (bullet point list format) A/N ❪ HI ANON IM SORRY FOR TAKING TOO LONG FOR THIS AAAAAAAAA tbh, i dont know this character :c so i based this drabble (?) only on what you described. I hope the reader was reckless enough alhdsfsalkjfhjkldskjaf

BLANK BLOGS DNI

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ 🌷 . . MASTERLIST

⸝⸝⸝

The poor magician is constantly on edge because of your recklessness. And you nearly sent him into cardiac arrest the first time he found out about it.

You were Lyney's stagehand, in charge of rope work and inspecting that the props were firmly attached and in place.

Let’s just say you didn’t check that your safety equipment was correctly secured.

Given that your place of focus was up there, at least 20 meters (65.6 feet) away from the wooden floor, when you fell... It was a rather distressing sight.

Lyney felt beyond guilty about what happened, even if it wasn’t his fault. He was both relieved and bewildered when he found out you were fine?

A fall from that height would render anyone with broken bones beyond repair, and you left the hospital on your own? Without needing a wheelchair or anything?! You walked out of there as if nothing had happened.

“Ohhh, right. I forgot to mention that. For some reason, I can’t die.”

You were immortal, and you were confessing that ability like you were talking about the weather.

“But… But I saw you covered in blood and...” He couldn’t finish his sentence; the mere memory caused chilling goosebumps.

He always keeps an eye on you when you’re about to climb the scaffolding.

“You’re going to get yourself into a mess again,” He worried, rushing to your side once he noticed the hook that goes into your gear seemed flimsy. “This needs a replacement,”

“But your show is tomorrow,” You objected. “Besides, if something happens, I’ll regenerate. No biggie,”

“Your ability is unmatched, but it must still hurt a lot when you get into that trouble,” He insisted, removing the swivel snap hook from the gear before you could further object. “The forge sells these items. It won’t take more than a couple of minutes to buy one,”

Unfortunately for a troublemaker like you, sooner rather than later, the magician picked up on your habit of running into situations.

Once, you came back after lunch with concerning burns on your arms.

“Look, I picked up some bulle fruit. They’re fresh. Want some?”

“What happened? Dear archons, those look like second-degree burns?!”

“I ran into some trouble with some dumb gardemeks. I gave them a good beating,” You boasted. “They did sneak behind me and hurt me, but still,”

“If you want to go after them, go ahead with it,” Lynette said, noticing her brother’s anxious face.

You wielded both a vision and a weapon, so he knew you were more than capable of defending yourself, and yet he couldn’t stop going after you to make sure you were alright.

“Lyney!” You greeted him as you were about to go back to the theater. “What’re you doing here? Ah—don't tell me I took too long to return!”

“None of that. Geez, it’s a miracle I found you in one piece,” He sighed and rubbed his temple. “You’re a magnet for trouble wherever you go,”

“C’mon, I can’t be that bad.” You laughed.

He also remembered that time you were adventuring. You know, being cooped in the city could be boring sometimes.

The sibling’s schedules were free for that couple of days and thought it would be a fun experience.

The moment they finished setting up the tents, they noticed you had run off somewhere without them knowing.

“Do you guys think these berries are edible?”

Spoiler: they weren’t…

Often, it’s Lyney bandaging you up.

It was customary for Lyney and Lynette to carry bandages and band-aids with them when they rehearsed their show. It’s not uncommon for blisters to appear on any part of their body after an intense rehearsal or to sprain an ankle occasionally.

Now, having you around, there was even more reason to store them.

Before you could scurry away from him, Lyney called you with a stern voice.

The usual flirty and teasing side of the magician disappears when he catches you trying to hide a cut or a scrape.

“’Tis but a small cut,” You assured, laughing nervously. “O-Ow—!”

The disinfectant stung as he applied it to your jaw. “How did you even—forget it. Knowing you, you were probably careless,” He undid the band-aid's wrap and grabbed your face, preventing you from moving away.

“There you go,” He smiled, pleased with himself, the band-aid in place. “You can go back to work,”

[sorrinslays]

I would love to hear more about your Sampo headcanons!:)

Hello!!!!

So strictly speaking, I've said all my 'main' headcannons so what's left is just silly little thoughts that I feel like would or could happen in cannon and just are fun to think about. So here we go!

1. I think it would be really cute if at some point, after the seal of the underworld was lifted and Rivet Town is habitable once more, Natasha wants to return to the orphanage and, to raise money, they do a theatrical performance.

Sampo volunteers to help as a director and while he is fair, he bias he has for children is a lot more noticeable. Like, he'd be the Gordon Ramsay of theater. They did raise the funds though so all is forgiven. /j

2. You know Celine? The NPC that wants to become like another NPC so at that point she just stalks and copies her and asks for our help in a daily mission? Yeah, he accidently gave her the idea.

He would probably at some point advertise himself as a 'solver of any problem' and Celine would come to him asking for acting advice, saying she wants to be more like Tamila (the NPC she's trying to copy).

The advice he would give is learn how to pick up some of her mannerisms so she can get more 'in character', saying that's what he does a lot . And Celine does, and that's the start of her 'obsession'.

He doesn't know what's going on with Celine since after the initial 'session' he hasn't seen her and he didn't think about it much. He made money that's all that matters.

3. When Seele turned of age to drink, she immediately started challenging people to drinking contests because she has high metabolism. However, she got too cocky when she taunted Sampo, not knowing that man has spent a big portion of his life in the World's End tavern.

She lost soon after and never went drinking with Sampo again. Don't worry though, the day after Natasha scolded both. Sampo still makes fun of her anytime he sees her holding an alcoholic drink (Natasha won't admit she finds it entertaining).

4. Has started multiple betting pools with the Silvermane Guards (while pretending to be one). Gepard know of them (not that it's Sampo making them) and lets them do it since the bets (50-100 credits) aren't that big so nobody is losing much money and it keeps his soldiers entertained enough.

5. I just know this man makes snowmen in highly dangerous, far from the city, fragmentum filled areas. Like he's in the middle of nowhere, snow is all around him and fragmentum are ready to strike anything that moves and he crunches down, and makes snowmen in dumb poses, sometimes resembling people from Belobog.

Anytime that the Guards have to make an expedition for whatever reason and spot a snowman, the reaction they have is: "He's been here too????????!!!!! Why?????!!! What the fuck, how?!?!??!1/1?1/"

6. Babies, infants more specifically, immediately calm down and giggle in his arms but he himself is very awkward around them. It's probably because he's a Creation of Elation so he brings laugher easily, but he does not know how to interact with them. They are just so small! What if he accidently boops their nose too hard and it dents or something???????

Whenever Natasha has a difficult baby to deal with because they keep crying no matter what she calls Sampo. He always comes, thinking it's a favor she needs or more medicine, but no. It's a baby, here hold it.

7. Since he's not entirely human, he needs less food, water and sleep. That's great! But he neglects those needs more often than not because he forgets he needs to eat, drink and sleep.

8. He probably has slept in a cardboard box before, because he forgot that he does get tired and was about to pass out so he did it in the safest place (trash).

9. I do believe he's unvaccinated, not because he's anti-vax, but because, one, he's not fully human so his immune system is different and stronger, but also two, it requires a lot more touching that he's comfortable with (that is none) which is why he avoids doctors

Plus, he was spawned, he was never a child. So he never had the opportunity to get one and he learnt about their existence a little too late.

He once mentioned it to Gepard who freaked out and made a plan with Natasha to get Sampo to get his shots. It was messy.

10. I do believe he can shapeshift and I imagine that he once had a conversation with Gepard (after they had become closer) where he mentioned that in another language Geppie's name means cheetah. And because Gepard has never seen a cheetah, Sampo shapeshifted into one. Sampo spent the entire night shapeshifting into different animals and species to show the other. Gepard quickly noted that a fox suits Sampo a lot.

[i-heart-hxh]

hi! so ive been so confused/unsure abt why killua's reaction to palm saying "you are the one gon needs most" looked like he was devastated. ive thought of different reasons on why he had that reaction:

1) he got scared/devastated/stressed at the fact that he was the only one who could really help gon at that moment, but he was so sure he was useless cuz he couldn't even snap gon back to his own senses. so its like "if i—the closest help there is to gon—can't help him, then who/what else can?" and so the overwhelming thoughts of gon possibly dying haunts him.

2) he couldn't believe that he's the one gon really needs the most after assuming that palm probably placed higher than him already, and was fully convinced gon cares more about palm more than him. but then palm says she cant even compare to killua, which gave him that reaction .... i guess its like relief but portrayed in a painful way cuz of his self worth issues.

3) he got pressured by the thought of being the one gon will always rely on the most. anything bad that happens to gon will always depend on what killua would do abt it. and killua always worries and sacrifices too much when it comes to gon, so pressure just added up.

aaaand this is making my brain all scrambled (TT) i wanted to ask if u have a clearer answer for this..? i trust ur judgement a lot (｡-人-｡)

Hello! Aw, I appreciate that you trust my judgment, that's sweet of you to say. ❤️ I'll do my best to explain my take on Killua's expression in this scene!

So, I think his reaction of shock and looking devastated is primarily from the first set of reasons you brought up. He already tried to step in and stop Gon and got pushed away and told that the situation with Kite is none of his business essentially. Being rejected like that and being unable to change Gon's course of action (even though that's the role Gon entrusted him with) broke his heart, and made him feel like he can't change Gon's impending tragic outcome.

Bisky also told him this earlier in the arc:

While we know his tendency to flee against a strong enemy is caused (at least in a large part) by the needle, which he's already removed at this point in the series, Bisky's words to him and the gravity of the current situation still weigh heavily on him. In this scene, he's realizing that Gon's fate rests on him--and he doesn't know what to do to save Gon at this point. There's no one else he can ask or rely on any more to save Gon, it all hinges on him. What a heavy burden that is to be entrusted with, especially with how deeply he loves Gon--to a degree where he has actively decided and even stated out loud that he'll die with him if it comes down to that.

That's why he's not happy or relieved (at least not visibly) to hear this, as much as being Gon's most important person is what he wants--to hear this at this point is a tremendously scary thing. He just broke down sobbing on the ground because he feels so helpless to do anything for Gon. This is what he needed to hear, and it's true as well, but it puts him a position of great responsibility towards someone he loves more than anything. He was previously directly told by someone he respects that he'll eventually leave Gon to die, which just adds extra fuel to the situation.

I do think both of your other ideas are things that contribute to Killua's state to a degree, but they're not the primary driving force of his reaction in this scene specifically. The situation with Palm and Gon did certainly destabilize his sense of his role in Gon's life (because he desperately wants to be Gon's most important person and, it's heavily hinted, his romantic partner) and that's why he's so fixated on whether Gon wants him at his side as his friend or his teammate. Hearing this from Palm is deeply meaningful for Killua--he even thanks her for it later (he doesn't specify what it's for, but it's obvious)--but again the timing is what makes it difficult for Killua to hear.

On your third point, I do think Killua also realizes as a result of what happens in Chimera Ant Arc that the dynamic between him and Gon can't continue as it has, hence the separation, but in this scene the situation is too urgent for him to be thinking deeply about future situations beyond the life-or-death one he and Gon are currently in. The pressure on him is absolutely a factor, though.

I hope that helps clarify this important scene for you!

[sunbloomdew]

Love Confessions in the Baxter DLC

The sequel! Monochrome obsession continues. Part 2/3

Part 1 "The Wedding Confession"

Welcome, or hello again! I played the Baxter DLC a couple of times and I like it a lot, so I wanted to ramble about some of my favourite parts. Specifically about love confessions in Baxter’s version of Step 4, because they are all very well written and make me feel good :3

Reading the first part of this "series" isn't necessary, the introduction is just a bit more thorough in the first post. Furthermore if you've read the first part it might seem like i'm repeating myself with certain points, since those moments share some similarities and i like to be meticulous.

It is time for the second confession and the last one that can be initiated by the player. If you don’t confess here and pick an option in which MC expresses hope of Baxter returning their feelings, you will later reach the moment where Baxter asks MC out himself. This confession is my personal favourite, so prepare for me losing my mind over every single detail.

Spoilers for Baxter DLC!

The confessions all happen after the wedding ceremony, so if you hadn't played to this point yet, i recommend skipping this post (and maybe coming back later, if you wanna chat about them with me)! I may not bring up every single line, but i think this post still covers a good part of what happens.

I call this confession, The Morning Confession, because it takes place on the morning after the wedding! Simple name but it does the job.

There is also another reason for this name, but i'll get to it later.

The wedding is over and most stuff had been cleaned up. MC returns with Baxter to his apartment, after accepting his invitation to stay with him until they have to come back to their home. The two have finally reunited and they aren’t ready to part ways yet.

During that evening, MC and Baxter share a moment by the fireplace in the lobby of the building. I wanted to dedicate some time to this moment, because I think it’s a valuable context to the confession. And aside from providing insight into the mind of Baxter Ward, I love the way it’s written. So sue me, i wanna talk about it.

Despite the fact that they have reconciled, Baxter’s reasoning behind his actions still isn’t fully clear to MC. While being in the company of other people made the lingering unease between them bearable, it still remains. They can't act casually, as if nothing had happened, as if the years hadn’t been lost. So Baxter offers to clarify his point of view. “As sorry as I am, I don’t think I’ve been as open as I could have been” he says and well, that is the truth.

If the player chose to confess to Baxter before this conversation, this moment provides a deeper understanding of the character and explains his reluctance to accept the confession.

It is here by a fireplace – a fitting spot for another personal conversation, considering the duo's shared history – that Baxter reveals his innermost thoughts and fears. At his core, he believes he doesn’t contribute anything to any relationship, because he can't see his own value. And to him, if he doesn’t add anything, then he has no right to form and be in deep, mutually supportive relationships.

Baxter convinced himself that he doesn’t matter. That his only worth is in the entertainment he can provide or the help he can give. In his own words, he doesn’t know what it means to be significant to a person, just by being yourself. Which is why he doesn’t let people get close to him. He assumes that upon finding out that there is nothing more to him, they will leave. So it’s better to not let anybody get to know him, that way no one can be disappointed by his “true” self. He is unable to see that none of that is true because deep down, he thinks he is worthless as a person.

Those feelings about himself are something that have influenced Baxter’s decisions about relationships with other people, for example with Xavier. As the baker reveals later, they always felt that if Baxter had no reason to contact them again, he wouldn't. He kept himself away from others and believed that every connection he makes isn’t meant to last.

Still, Baxter wanted to create bonds with other people. And it terrified him.

He wanted to have that with MC, but he was too afraid to take that chance five years ago. It couldn't have worked out back then. Baxter had his assumptions about himself and others, and he held onto them strongly. It’s sad, but there was no way to make him change his ways back then. He was set on leaving no matter what would have happened.

This Baxter is different from the 19 year old who put his comfort above all else. During that conversation by the fireplace he is being vulnerable in ways he never allowed himself to be before. He tells MC that he missed them over those five years. That they made him feel wanted that summer, and as incredible as it felt, he couldn’t believe it would last. He makes it clear that it wasn’t any of MC’s actions that made him feel that way - he applied this mindset to every connection he made at that time.

It’s incredibly sad to witness his thoughts out in the open like that. I think Baxter’s struggles are something most of us can relate to in some way. Low self-esteem can make people withdraw from social situations and spiral into self-hatered. It’s terrible, to be so wrapped up in disliking yourself that you assume that nobody could ever like you. That you have no good qualities as a person, so you have to make up for them somehow. It can feel like it'll stay this way forever, and so there is no point in trying to connect with others.

However that is not true. In the end, Baxter came to understand this as well. He is worthy of love and friendship. He grew and learned from his past mistakes, and so can we.

He apologises to MC once again, and expresses deep regret over not staying in contact with them. And at last, MC can say that they actually know Baxter Alexander Ward.

I think this moment is really beautiful. It’s an apology without excuses, that provides an explanation. Baxter never had malicious intentions, but even so, his actions had hurt people who cared for him (and who he cared about), so he owns up to his mistakes and does his best to correct them.

Aside from being a really good moment of taking accountablity and being vulnerable with another person this conversation also sets the mood for the morning confession. The air is finally cleared. These two characters can finally show how much they value each other because there is mutual understanding and trust between them again. It will take some time to get to know each other after so long, but they are willing to try, and they know they can be honest.

After a day full of emotional revelations, Baxter and MC finally head to bed. Not only the characters, but the players can take a breath and prepare for what’s to come. And boy are we in for a treat.

The next day arrives and the players are given an option to sleep in as much as they want. What time MC wakes up will have an effect on dialogues and is one of the many examples of how the game lets us customize the protagonist however we want, even in the silliest ways. It is something i deeply appreciate about the Our Life series. The comfort level also changes the lines, for example MC's response to Baxter greeting them in the morning.

Eventually the sleeping beauty wakes up and the pair moves to the living room. Despite sleeping in for a while Baxter is still out of it and it’s so adorable (he's just like me fr).

I think the tone set for the confession is lovely. The atmosphere in the morning is relaxing and light and to me it feels like this is exactly what those characters needed. A new day has arrived, not only literally but figuratively for their relationship. There is no negative tension in the air, just the feeling of peace. They are clearly enjoying each other's company and it's great to finally have that again.

This is only my opinion, but the way this moment feels is exactly why i like it more than the wedding confession. The previous confession is meant to feel rushed, high on emotions and full of determination to declare the feelings right away. MC feels like they have to be upfront about their feelings in that moment so they confess. I do enjoy this type of tension, but i simply prefer this kind of setting. As much as i love convincing Baxter to truly express his feelings by shooting down the reasons not to date him (it's so intense and dramatic! absolutely amazing) i find that i like this quiet admission of feelings more.

While it might not be that intense as the moment right after the wedding, there is still this nagging feeling that urges MC not to wait any longer. They love that they are included in this private corner of Baxter's life and they wish they could have been before. It's this feeling of not wanting to lose any more time, that makes them think about confessing then and there.

And so, the player is presented with a choice:

It is time to confess! Hallelujah.

Just like in the wedding confession we can pick the way we want to confess - with words or with a gesture. If we pick the third option you lose the chance to confess yourself. Instead Baxter will do this when the time comes.

Upon choosing one of the ways to confess, MC has the same internal monologue they do in the wedding confession. I've already shared my thoughts about it in the previous post, but i'll just say here that it's a very nice scene. They reminisce about their relationship with Baxter as a whole, eventually coming to the conclusion, that they can hold on to him.

After the monologue ends, the player has a chance to reaffirm their decision, as they did in the previous confession.

If you back out, MC thinks that they can be together just not in the way they'd want to. They are afraid of confessing, in case they ruin what they just got back and make Baxter run away.

But, if you reaffirm your decision, you get my personal favourite confession scene. Let's get right into it!

I mentioned in Part 1 that Baxter reacts to MC's silence, as they reminisce about their relationship. I find it a little funny when i imagine them just sitting in silence and staring intensely for a while. Kinda like when magical girls have their transformations and the bad guys don't do anything to interrupt them. MC monologuing definitely gives off the same energy. Writing inner monologues is tricky like that.

During the wedding confession Baxter is anxious and worried, waiting to receive MC's verdict. Do they welcome him back to their life? Or do they reject him (even though there is no such option in the game)?. It's stressful and the prolonged silence makes Baxter slowly come back to his usual behaviour to protect himself, in case his vulnerability was the wrong move.

This isn't the case here. His reaction is wildly different. There is no tension or stress, just curiosity and anticipation. Instead of being nervous he is very smug, clearly knowing or at least suspecting what MC is thinking about. I gotta say, when i first picked this option i was stunned. I did NOT expect him to act in this way, but it was a pleasant surprise. Mr. Ward is very perceptive and i love this confident attitude of his.

MC asks him what is on his mind, and he comes back to reality. Baxter encourages them to continue, but they insist he tells them what's going on. And that's what he does. He says that he was remembering a "funny story". Then he asks MC if they want to know something absolutely embarrassing. With that kind of an opening, how could they refuse?

Baxter tells them that Jude and Scott attempted to speak to him about his and MC's... situation. He was surprised that they noticed he was sad and wanted to help him, when he was supposed to be doing that with their relationship. I think it was his feelings of inferiority that made him feel that way.

Moving on, the reason he brought that up wasn't to draw attention to how his poor relationship management skills made others concerned for him. But rather to point out, that the men knew, that MC is important to Baxter. Baxter states that he was grateful they met and despite ending their relationship five years ago, he was never sorry he knew MC. He is kinda chaotic with his admission, one second bringing up the chat with the grooms and the other expressing his affection for MC.

Understandably, it makes MC confused. They thought they were the one leading the dance - or the conversation in this case - but clearly now it's Baxter doing that (i mean he is a professional). Even so, he isn't as good with his words as usual and doesn't quite manage to convey what he wants to MC.

He thanks MC for letting him "ramble" for so long and stands up. Shit's getting real. We're about to enter the boss fight.

He moves to sit on the edge of the coffee table, which puts him at the eye level with MC, only closer than before. And then this silly man leans closer acting all calm and confident. Dude. Please. Everytime i play this moment i lose my precious ability to formulate thoughts, not to mention actual sentences. Because. Oh my god.

And then he hits you with THAT. He absolutely knew what MC was thinking about and he is having a lot of fun with teasing them. They realize that he caught on to what was going on and figure that at least it makes it easier to confess. The dialogue varies in this place because of the comfort level - these are their thoughts on the Direct setting. They also think about how hard would it be to tell him they liked him before he opened up to them. I find it pretty funny, because it’s clearly a tiny poke, towards players who did confess right after the wedding and faced this struggle. When you’re replaying those moments it does make you chuckle.

Now we can finally confess our feelings! When doing that verbally there are a couple of options to choose from, as in the case of the wedding confession. One of the options is: "Could I consider all the time we spent together a date?" and you already know i love this one. It's playful, it's a reference to when Baxter asked MC out five years ago, it's perfect. There is no contender, i always choose it.

...Is what i would say, but i actually always choose the option to confess with a kiss during this feelings reveal.

Confessing with a kiss looks a bit different from the first confession. This time there aren't multiple options to choose where we want to kiss him, MC goes straight (or is it?) for the lips. And the way that kiss is described is everything to me. I'm an absolute sucker for kissing scenes and this one is just so, so, so good! I cannot find fitting words in english (and neither can i in polish) so i'll just drop one screenshot from it and move along before i combust.

It's so tender and sweet and adorable please-

While Baxter was acting super confident and cocky, the second MC declares their love for him/moves to kiss him he turns into a shy, blushing mess. Despite knowing or at least suspecting what MC was about to do he is still caught of guard. I think that his reaction is absolutely adorable. Baxter doesn't blush a lot, so it's always a treat when he does.

We can choose to tell Baxter, that MC wanted to be with him even five years ago and this stuns him again.

Now that MC have confessed their love they're waiting for Baxter to respond. But GOD, is he struggling. It's the first time Baxter is so flustered and it makes me so giddy. He allows himself to show how much MC means to him and holy shit, this man cannot look at them for too long because he will just blush even harder.

From the way he is acting it's already clear that he reciprocates MC's feelings. But the fact that he gets so shy? Stole my heart, sir how dare you be so cute.

Of course, Baxter Ward cannot stay flustered for long and he eventually recovers. Damn it.

His response to the confession is so sweet. He basically says "my turn" and tells MC all the things he loves about being with them, how they made him feel and how much he appreciates them. There is still a moment of self-loathing, when Baxter regrets trying to keep MC out of his life- twice. He is surprised that MC still has feelings for him, still wants to be with him despite all the pain he caused them.

He still brings up all the potential reasons why this could be a bad idea. Limited connections, his current financial situation and his past ways of managing relationships. But unlike in the Wedding Confession, here those aren't statements for MC to refute. I'd say they are less of a warning for MC and more of an expose of himself, to be sure that he revealed everything he considers a flaw before accepting their confession. "By all accounts, I shouldn't be doing this. But I am." - those are his words. Even if he still has his doubts, he isn't going to turn MC down anymore. If he let them go now, in fear of potentially not being enough in this relationship, he would regret it.

And so that is his response: "If you'll have me you will have me." Don't mind if i do- yoink.

While he calmed down a bit for this admission, he gets flustered yet again. It's so adorable to see him be so affected by MC and this situation.

Baxter says that it was easier asking MC out himself all those years ago. He is still so out of it that he voices out loud that he has no idea what to do now. His usual grace and poise are still on leave it seems. He follows it up with that it would be the best if he switched from sitting on the coffee table to somewhere with a backrest, just in case. Dude. Baxter is so strongly impacted by this confession that he is fully aware that there is a possiblity that he will just topple down. I'm melting, it's so cute!

He moves to the couch and MC joins him over there. Once Baxter calms down a bit, he says he is starting to "remember some possiblities" and the two kiss again. I can't even begin describe how much i love the way the kissing moments are written. They're amazing and i'm losing my mind.

The last question Baxter has is if his feelings were obvious to MC. He recounts when Jude asked him point-blank if he was still 'into' MC - we get a couple of dialogue answers to pick, either reacting to Jude even asking about it or answering Baxter's question.

And that is the end of this confession! Baxter overcomes his sheepishness at last, no longer blushing intensely. Quite a shame, but i think we all love his usual charming self as well.

There are no more reservations about showing his true feelings. The pair has been reunited after five years and are finally ready to start a long-term relationship. Good for them <3

Baxter shares one last thought at the end of this long conversation:

And yes, this is the other reason why i call this confession the Morning Confession specifically! It's entirely because of Baxter pointing it out. And because he is so surprised about this turn of events.

The second part is finally over! I worked on it during those two weeks (holy fuck, why) it took me to post it. I'm a bit bummed it took me this long to finish it, but i did my best <3

This part is definitely longer than the first, the brainrot got to me. I haven't started the third part yet but i already replayed the last confession scene and honestly? I forgot how good it was compared to the other two! Shame on me, truly.

See you in the third part! Peace out~

Part 1

[mewvore]

I came across you via your post about (shortening for readability) "HRT being a last minute option that could be taken near the end of all possible solution to life's most pressing woes" And I tried to understand, but I do not fully, so I try and ask you directly. Sorry if I don't have the proper vocabulary to use the "correct" terms in my questions I thought HRT was... well, something against body dysmorphia in people who felt misplaced in gender-related questions (purposely being vague in order to try and include all intersex etc people) And in that interpretation, for HRT to help in any way, there must have been some... mismatch of sorts. Is the word dysmorphia, dysphoria, dysplasia? Idk. I'm not a scientist, just a confused rando on the internet. Whatever the word, if such a thing were to exist, should it not be possible to pinpoint it and target it specifically, long before you would get to the end of possible solutions? Your phrasing sounds a lot more like someone saying "I have issues. Let's just shotgun a random treatment for a random issue that other people have and hope it works". How and why would it work? Why is HRT the last-ditch attempt that did work?

the most important part about what I said, in regards to that entire twitter post and my explanation, was that it was about me, only me, personally. whether that ended up resonating with people is completely based on their own experiences and interpretations, and it is definitely not universal. none of it was meant to describe the trans experience and HRT in its entirety for everyone

In regards to calling HRT what amounts to as a final effort, I called it that as a way to consolidate years and years of things that happened in my life which lead to that point. a baseball game doesn't get to a 9th inning randomly, and a pokemon battle doesn't get to the last 1v1 immediately. a lot happens to get to those points where a solution eventually presents itself. I apologize but I simply do not wish to lay out EVERYTHING that happened in my life to explain the EXACT reason why transitioning ended up being my personal solution.

for the most part you are correct in what you understand HRT to be and what it addresses, and its something that requires a lot of thought, a lot of discussion with professionals and peers, and its most definitely not something that one picks haphazardly. The brevity I used wasn't due to any lack of care, it was to aid in the nature of internet posting and making clever jokes. I apologize for making it confusing for you

[dan-whoell]

When BIG dropped I was sitting in the passenger seat of my mother’s car. We were waiting for a red light to change. The youtube notification pinged and my I got goosebumps.

In all honesty I thought it was... not a joke exactly, but I thought for sure it was clickbait, that there was some kind of spin. I didn't believe it was actually happening. I went to twitter and saw some of the responses and I thought... I don't know what I thought. Everyone was (obviously) taking him very seriously and yet I still didn't believe it was actually happening. For some reason I just assumed it was being blown out of proportion. Still I was cautiously optimistic, thinking ok, maybe it’s real, but I never imagined Dan would explicitly come out the way that he did. 

An hour or two later I got home and watched it in my bedroom, alone, and cried. It was real. He was putting himself out there in a way that he could not walk back. I was so fucking proud of him. But more than that, I felt seen. Understood. The fear and the shame he talked about was so real to me. Specifically I remember that was a lot of stress about nothing and I didn’t think they’d reject me these days, but coming out is still a surprise and to anyone that isn’t out, it’s okay.

I was 23 and closeted to my immediate family and only just beginning to really accept my own gender crisis. I had so much fear about actually voicing my queerness to anyone in my family. I was out as a lesbian at work and had one friend that I even remotely said anything to about gender (which was mostly me shrugging and saying it was something I thought about, but not a whole lot.) But none of it was authentically me. I wasn’t living my truth, you know? I didn’t even know my truth because I didn’t do a lot of the work to figure myself out. I’ve always thought that I would never fully live my life until my family was gone, so I didn’t see the point in doing much exploring.

And then I saw this incredible person that I’d watched and looked up to for years had a courage that I didn't think I’d ever have. He gave words to the anxiety inside of me. I cried and I didn’t have anyone to hug but myself. 

I’m 28 now and I’m still not out to my family. It’s still scary to me. But I’ve looked inside myself a lot, and I’ve accepted the truth about who I am. I am queer. I am trans. That doesn’t change no matter who I do or do not tell. And I only have courage to accept myself because of Dan, and Phil, and entire community of people who are unapologetically themselves. 

Five years ago BIG gave me the courage to be honest with myself, and I will forever be grateful for that.

[simplyjaeyun]

Cookies -K.GV

G/n reader, y/n used

Warnings: none, js fluff

You and gyuvin have been friends since you were kids. When you started high school you started feeling weird things for him, he had a massive glow up. Whenever he was around you, you would have butterflies flying around in your stomach. It hurt to be friends with him though, he would go around dating amazing people. How could he ever like you, those words swam around in your head for the longest time. You were just his childhood best friend, he probably just thought of you as a sibling or some person that has followed him around.

You and your friends were sitting around in the cafeteria trying to finish your homework before next lesson. You were struggling, your science teacher had already given you an extension because you blanked out when she was discussing home assignments. You were waiting for gyuvin because he’s in your class and he always takes notes. As soon as he sat down at your table you told him about your situation and asked for his notes, he kindly agreed. You quickly finished your homework. You and Gyuvin were talking back and forth before finishing your homework. ‘Oh I almost forgot’ he said. He opened his bag and pulled out a box of cookies. ‘I made these over the weekend, try one?’ He handed you a cookie. You took a bite out of it and scrunched up your face. ‘Is it good? What’s wrong with it?’ He asks. ‘It’s a bit salty..’ you reply. He looks shocked and his ears tint red signalling he was a tad embarrassed. You tell him you were joking and he lightly slaps you in the arm. ‘Ouch..’ you said laughing. He laughs along with you. You suggest to him you two should make cookies together. ‘Oooh yes, I can get my mum to help us.’ He says. ‘I was kind of hoping we it could just be us two?’ You reply. He looks a bit startled and you feel scared for a second until he smiles ‘yeah I guess we could do that,’ he laughs. You organise when you would do it and agreed to do it on Saturday at 11am.

Saturday

You knocked on Gyuvin’s door, he opened it with a smile which made you feel like you were melting from the inside-out. ‘Hi, y/n.’ You smiled back at him ‘Hi, Gyuv..’ He opened the door wider for you and you walked in. He led you to the kitchen where he had set out the ingredients. ‘I looked up a few recipes online, these were the ingredients that were used in most of them.’ He said, still smiling. ‘I didn’t choose a specific recipe so you can judge which one you would prefer to do,’ he continues. ‘I dont mind which one we do, as long as it tastes good at the end,’ you laugh. He laughs along with you. You both chose a recipe and double check your ingredients. ‘Wait.. where are the chocolate chips?’ You ask him. ‘I MUST’VE FORGOTTEN THEM,’ he says worriedly. ‘I guess we’ll have to quickly rush to the shop to get them..’ you reply. ‘Race you!’ He says. You remind him that you aren’t children but still end up trying to catch up anyway. By the time you two reach the shop, you’re both fully out of breath. You talk walk in and ask where the chocolate chips are. The shop owner points to the aisle where all the baking stuff is, you grab a packet and pay for them. You two race on the way back as well. Times like this make you question whether he’s playing stuff like this because he likes you or if it’s because he’s known you all his life. He doesn’t do this with anyone else he hangs out with. This is one of the many things you’ve learned about him over the years you’ve been friends. You both know a lot of things about each other. In theory a relationship could make sense, it all comes down to whether he likes you or not though. Which is one of the reasons you’ve asked him to bake cookies. You had planned to confess to him, to get it over with so you wouldn’t have to stress over it anymore. It could ruin your friendship, but you didn’t care anymore. You couldn’t keep it in. When you two go back you started to mix in the ingredients. You were mixing in the eggs when from the side of your eye you saw gyuvin pick up some flour. You knew he was planning something. ‘DONT YOU DARE!’ You shouted knowing his plan. He had a massive smirk on his face. You wouldn’t let him touch your face so he decided to clap his hands together causing the flour to go everywhere, this resulted in a short flour fight before you went back to the cookies. Once you mixed everything together you rolled everything up into a ball and put it back into a bowl. You put plastic wrap over the bowl and told gyuvin to preheat the oven. Once the oven was preheated you put the dough into cookie shapes on a baking tray. You put the cookies in the oven. Gyuvin asked if you wanted to watch a movie while the cookies baked. You both sat down on his couch and watched a movie he suggested. Halfway through the movie you thought it was time to make a move. You moved your hand towards his hoping to hold it. He was a bit confused at first but he held it and rubbed his thumb on the back of your hand. ‘You okay?’ He asks, turning his head towards you. ‘Uh, yeah.. I was just thinking.. there’s something I have to tell you..’ you say trembling. ‘What is it?’ He places his full attention on you. ‘So I.. there’s another reason I wanted to bake cookies with you..’ you say quietly. ‘Go on,’ he says, reassuringly. ‘Basically,’ you continue, ‘I wanted to say this to you.. so I have liked you for like.. a few years now.. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship but I had to say this. If you don’t like me back that’s fine I just-‘ You feel is lips on yours cutting what you’re about to say off. ‘I like you too,’ he says, ‘I have for a while now, I just didn’t know how to tell you. We’ve been friends for so long and I didn’t want to ruin that..’ He continues. ‘Yeah.. that’s why I didn’t want to tell you either..’ You reply. ‘So uh, do you want to like be my partner?’ He asks. ‘Definitely,’ you say smiling. You smell burning and it immediately sparks a memory in your head ‘OH WAIT THE COOKIES!!’

A/n: I haven’t written in a while, so excuse me if I’m a bit rusty. This is kinda cringe but I made it with c.ai so 🤷‍♀️

😭😭

[incarnadinedreams]

I frequently see people saying that the list of traits Jiang Cheng gave to the matchmaker are "impossible standards", ridiculous, unreasonable, outlandish, absurd, nobody could ever possibly meet them, etc.

Anyway the translation that's up on the wiki is:

His requirements in his partner are: naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working and thrifty, coming from a respected family, cultivation level not too high, personality not too strong, not too talkative, voice not too loud and must treat Jin Ling nicely.

First off, the list comes from a random trivia answer MXTX gave in an interview, not the novel canon. So whether you even consider it canon at all is up for grabs to begin with. Though I think there was a scene in CQL with a similar list so it would be canon there, minus the Jin Ling point (due to the point in the story the scene was set)? (So I believe the matchmaker blacklisting point still wouldn't be CQL canon though, just the list?)

But if you do take it all as a Super Serious Canon Thing, well... to be honest I just don't think that list is at all unusual, given the setting? I believe many of the points in the list are just traits considered generally good for ladies of the time period (intentionally vague as that time period may be). (I am absolutely not an expert though so please correct me if I'm wrong about that.)

To me it seems that it's not that they're unusually high or unattainable standards, they're just so generic that they're sort of unhelpful. That he has like no idea what he wants at all outside what he's supposed to want.

The only points that actually seem to have any specificity are things like cultivation level not too high. Which some people could interpret negatively, and fair enough. But personally to me that seemed more like a flashing neon sign of 'please someone not like my mother', given her strength in cultivation was one of her defining traits (and something that he may have felt led to her disappointment in him). Even though Jiang Cheng may carry forward some of her traits himself (for better and for worse; this is not a YZY hate zone but there's... a lot there), he does seem to have at least given some thought to choosing a partner to counter some of the pain points of his own childhood and aim for something different (and we see him trying to do that himself in specific ways as well, like his staunch support of Jin Ling when he was crying after the Second Siege, even if he doesn't always fully succeed).

And, of course, 'must treat Jin Ling nicely'. Which seems obvious and not like a big deal at first, but I think actually could reasonably be a big sticking point in a potential marriage. My understanding is that he was wildly more involved in Jin Ling's life than a maternal uncle would normally be. Including this as a specific requirement seems to send a particular type of statement, as if it was important to him that any potential match would not take offense to him treating an orphaned child that wasn't his with a lot of attention and gifts and favor... hmmm, how could he have possibly decided that could be a problem in a marriage...?

(Obviously, the scenario would be very different than his parents' - none of the salacious rumors and the humiliation that came with them that really drove a deeper wedge between YZY and JFM - but he was obviously going to be doing a lot more for Jin Ling than an average uncle so it makes sense to have that be a specific point upfront.)

I'm ultimately in the 'it was MXTX making a joke and not meant to be taken nearly this seriously' with a side of 'the clan leaders of this generation aren't in a hurry to get married because MXTX just didn't feel like writing their wives in and also it was funny' camp so I think there's a limit to how much insight can be gleaned from this, you know? It is fun to play with it in-universe and explore the implications on the society and political system going forward in the decades post-canon, but I do try to keep myself from taking it too seriously when it's clearly not a well-thought-out plot point or anything, just a fun offhand jokey trivia bit.

But I like the vibes of it all well enough to accept it as 'semi-canon' or 'canon enough' for myself anyway because I think the 'must treat Jin Ling nicely' point is cute and the rest is just standard for the setting and the blacklisted by matchmakers part is funny, and I'm much more willing to subsume random bits from interviews into my brain's blorbo blob if it's something funny.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Elanor! Im studying in wales for a semester any tips so i dont end up making an arse of myswlf?

Ah, yes, on no account can you make an arse of yourswlf (I'M SORRY I'M SO SORRY THE OPENING WAS THERE AND I TOOK IT I COULDN'T HELP MYSWLF)

Anyway, me being a dickhead aside:

Don't worry! Wales is famously very welcoming. I'm not sure where you're from, but there's a specific reason why some (not all) English people get a different reception from everyone else, and it's "inherent superiority and disrespect." As an example, one of my sister's friends has a holiday home in North Wales which he's been visiting with family ever since he was a child, and at the point my sister met him - as a fully grown man - she had to explain to him that the local beach to that holiday home was not, in fact, called Traeth Beach. He'd been looking his whole life at the sign near the house that read "Traeth - Beach", and because none of them had bothered at all to learn a shred of the local language, hadn't realised that traeth literally just means beach. They also pronounced Pwllheli as Buh-Velly, because again, they literally could not give any less of a shit about the culture they'd just stolen a house from and were squatting in the middle of. When my sister explained how to actually pronounce Pwllheli, he just laughed, and carried on saying Buh-Velly. It just... was not important to him. He didn't care.

And when he did it in front of me, he genuinely did not understand why I was offended. Like, it did not compute. He thought he was being charming and quirky. He thought anything other than an "Oh-what-are-you-like" reaction was over-reacting.

He's a pretty classic example of what I mean. There's an ingrained sense of superiority. A belief you can do whatever you want. A belief that centuries of oppression is just "funny banter", and if we don't see it that way, then we're being mean nasty bullies. It's very common. Also, if you're Northern English, Anon, for the love of god don't assume that means you're immune from it, because I 100% promise you, you aren't.

But if you avoid that, you're fine. Don't make jokes about things that aren't yours to joke about, like the language or history or whatever. Be interested in Wales! In Welsh culture! No one ever is, so we like that. Don't be self-aggrandising, we do NOT like that. Welsh people are, by and large, very underwhelmed - it takes a lot for us to get to "whelmed". That might take some adjusting, especially if you're American, because Americans are very enthusiastic and Welsh people don't like making a fuss. If you come knowing how to pronounce the place names, we LOVE that.

Other than that, honestly, just relax and be yourself. As I say, as long as you're respectful, you'll have a lovely time. Also I don't know which bit of Wales you're heading to, but if you're in Cardiff, the Owain Glyndwr pub has a painting for its pub sign that looks exactly like my husband, so that's fun

[aloeverified]

death note — neurodivergent headcanons:

lawliet: autism (asd)

when he was little, he refused to wear socks because he hated the way they seams felt on his feet. eventually watari gave up on trying to make him wear them and just had him wear shoes that didn't require them — that was until lawliet realized the benefit to not wearing shoes and just started going barefoot.

along with that, he used to never wear jeans as a child because they were too tight and uncomfortable. the same thing goes for long sleeves. this meant he typically wore sweatpants and loose tanktops until he realized he can simply start wearing oversized clothing.

sweets are his safe foods. he typically goes for small candies like m&ms when he's feeling more picky, but he generally enjoys anything ranging from cake to pastries. he also really likes milkshakes and the occasional smoothie.

since he can't read tones, he doesn't always take people's sarcasm as a joke if he's unfamiliar with them. however, that doesn't stop him from having a very sarcastic and dry sense of humor himself. unfortunately, most people don't realize he's also joking due to his monotone voice and lack of facial expressions.

lawliet struggles with empathy. he often finds it hard to sympathize with people who he feels are making a bad decisions. he values logic over emotional reasoning and gets annoyed when people don't see things the same way as him. he’s willing to make extreme decisions and take an ends-justify-the-means approach. he also doesn't see the appeal in formalities and views them as a waste of time. this can lead to him being very brunt and straight to the point, not bothering to mince his words. it often comes across as rude, especially if it's to someone he sees as being less than him.

light: obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd)

he always has to have things a very specific way. not exactly tidy — although he hates messes and being unorganized — but simply "his way." otherwise, he constantly feels off and uncomfortable.

he prefers to work alone because of this. group projects were always a nightmare for him. not only did he want his work area to be organized a specific way, but any essay or project he worked on also had to follow a specific order. along with that, he has to began his work in calculated steps or he'd grow too irritated and frustrated.

his mother quickly learned when he was younger that none of his food could touch or he wouldn't eat dinner. that, and he had to eat each section in order or he didn't feel full.

he'd end up conveniencing himself that if he didn't fill out all the questions on a test in the correct order then he'd end up failing, as well as other thing such as, "if i don't turn off the stove in this specific way, the house is gonna burn down." these thoughts never came across or irrational to him. even when he didn't always fully believe them, he still had a voice in the back of his head telling him he was wrong. therefore, he always went along with his specific order.

he'd spiral with his thoughts a lot. if he shook someone's hand after meeting them, he'd tune out their introduction and think about what their hand has touched, when the last time they washed their hand was, when he'd be able to wash his hand. it go to the point where he'd eventually just stop touching people in general, and grew annoyed when they touched him.

matt: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (adhd)

despite ranking at number three at the orphanage, there's actually a very big gap between near and mello's intelligence compared to matt's. he's smart, definitely, but he's not actually a genius like the other two. this caused matt to feel a great divide between himself and the other two, and he tried his best to hole up in his room and study to become like them, but it ultimately left him burnt out.

after that, matt stopped applying himself and his grades began tanking. watari realized this was a result of his unmotivation and not actual stupidity, though, so he allowed matt to keep his place as third.

matt began suffering from the pressure and anxiety he felt in trying to become one of L's successors, and during one of his walks outside the orphanage, he came across a group of people offering him a cigarette to help him chill out. matt was smart enough to know it was a bad decision, but he was also depressed and decided to take it up to help calm his nerves.

matt's hyperfixations revolve around technology. after becoming obsessed with video games, he eventually decided to learn about how people code them which lead him into being interested in coding and hacking.

he's mostly unmedicated for his adhd, though he does find a way to get adderall when he feels like it. because of his, he's extremely prone to boredom and is more than likely to give up on a specific tasks to play games instead.

he's overall very aimless due to his boredom and burnt out feelings towards bettering himself. he fills his time with exciting things like drag races and drugs, but other than that he's very shut and reclusive and unlikely to let someone pull him away from his games unless they're offering something more fun to do.

he constantly is seeking out stimulation. there's always music blasting from his headphones while he games or a radio playing while he drives.

mello: autism (asd)

his tone is typically very flat, which causes confusion when people are trying to tell his emotions. along with that, he's not very expressive physically unless mad or manic.

he gets irritated very easily when people fail to understand whether or not he's being serious or not, or if they misinterpret him. he knows deep down that it's not their fault, but he hates being reminded of how he's the problem.

he constantly feels alienated from others. he was never able to make friends in the orphanage. he always started off well, but was never able to maintain connection with others. because of this, he isolates himself from just about everyone — only really keeping in contact with lawliet, near, and matt when he's older.

he's very defensive and possessive of his interests. he doesn't like when other people dislike them, but he hates when they seem to like them a lot. he's like this with friends as well, mostly when he was younger. he also got jealous when matt hung out with other kids instead of him, especially since he already struggled to keep friends so he was worried about ruining their friendship and being abandoned.

he wished he wasn't autistic when he was younger. of course, he was nervous about what other people thought about him, but his issues typically went back to him hating how difficult everything was for him — communicating, making connections, feeling like he belonged. no matter what he did, it always felt like the wrong choice; no matter where he went, he didn't belong.

unlike many other autistic people, he doesn't hate loud noises. in fact, a majority of the music he enjoys revolves around loud sounds. however, he has to be in the right mood to listen to them. he doesn't just put music on whenever, he has to want to actively listen to it in order to stand it. similarly, he can't have anything on in the background if he's trying to get work done. his surroundings are either completely silent or shaking pictures off the wall loud.

misa: (adhd)

throughout school, misa struggled with the material more than others. she had a very short attention span and often got in trouble for daydreaming instead of focusing. this is what caused her to start becoming overly insecure about her smarts and try and make up for it by being pretty and funny.

most her hyperfixations fall into stereotypical feminine traits, such as makeup and fashion.

when her fans found out she had adhd, she played into the stereotypes and just used it to make herself seem overly bubbly and dumb as she knew it would help her as an idol. however, due to this many people started regarding her as a moron with no ideas of substance, which added to her insecurities regarding her intelligence. whenever she did try to showcase herself and her ideas, she was typically laughed at and most people thought she was joking.

since japan has very strict drug laws, she's unmedicated and her symptoms are very severe; specifically her forgetfulness, excitability, fidgeting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, and persistent repetition of words or actions. she's also very prone to mood swings when provoked.

near: autism (asd) & dyspraxia

her special interests are toys. she's not very picky and likes things that range from puzzles to toy robots, but she does favor dolls. she especially likes ones that come with television shows such as ever after high, equestria girls, monster high, and my little pony. she's not ashamed of her more childlike interests either, as she grew up around solely autistic people and was never made to feel embarrassed.

near has always preferred to play by herself as a child as she often felt like other people couldn't understand how exactly her little storylines played out in her head and it would be too much work explaining them when she could just play alone. she also just generally prefers not to socialize with others unless it comes down to those she is extremely close with, such as lawliet, matt, and especially mello.

she struggles a lot when it comes to social cues. she doesn't adjust her demeanor accordingly when it comes to certain situations, which makes her come across as uncaring. pair that with her inability to make eyecontact or even bother to face someone when they're talking to her, and she appears to be very uncaring most of the time.

her main stim is twirling her hair.

she has an insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, and ritualized patterns. she usually only wears all white, and is very highly organized when it comes to her personal space and belongings. all her toys are organized by what type they are and then what color. she also prefers to stick to her comfort zone and doesn't typically leave the orphanage unless it's absolutely necessary.

near is very selective when it comes to which textures she's willing to deal with. she only wears soft clothing like pajamas, and doesn't bother wearing shoes with her socks. she also typically likes warm and soft foods, such as oatmeal or rice.

she needs to feel stimulated at all times, so she typically watches something while she eats and listens to music when she's going to bed. she'll also often have one of her shows on in the background while playing with her toys or will put on fitting music for whatever adventure she's making her toys go on.

she's not very good at taking care of herself on her own, as she'll prioritize her hobbies over things like eating and showing. she's also easily stressed and unmotivated when it comes to things she doesn't like doing, and needs someone else to help her with things such as arranging doctor appointments and flights.

she also prefers to sit on the floor and crawl between spaces rather than walking around due to her dyspraxia. when she's feeling particularly weak, she uses a wheelchair and has either gevanni, lawliet, or mello push her around depending on where she is or who she's with.

[bozoswozo]

Just finished rewatching Death Note, and though it’s completely for my personal pleasure and I would doubt if anyone would read it from start to finish, it’s rant time! *spoilers alert*

First of all, woah. The second watch was truly an experience. Everyone is always talking about ‘I wish I could rewatch … for the first time again.’ and though I’d usually agree, I don’t for Death Note specifically. I don’t really understand why, but in my second watch had a way bigger impact on me than my first. Maybe because I watched it for the first time 4 years ago and I’ve grown now, with different opinions.

ONE THING THAT DIDN’T CHANGE IS MY DISLIKE TOWARDS LIGHT‼️

This being said, the ending where he tried to run away from the police, wounded, made me feel kind of sad for him. He wanted to do good, sure. But after all, anyone who uses bad to solve bad is as bad as the bad they’re trying to solve. Evil cannot be used to fight evil :P

I understand his point of view (somewhat) but I still dislike him. How are you going to watch this man commit genocide, lead his father to his death and feel no remorse, consider killing his sister to save himself (again, no remorse), lead on the angel that is Misa in a cruel way, kill L and Mello (their deaths are enough for me to dislike him but I needed to give more reasons :3) etc etc and still root for him?

Again, no shade to Light lovers. To each their own :P.

Moving on. When I first watched Dn, I was only attached to L. And so, seeing him get killed off and be replaced by Near sparked in me a deep hatred towards that boy. But maturing is realising that Near is the third best character in the show (Right after L and Mello) and that he’s a cutie pie.

And he’s also extremely smart. Correct me if I’m wrong but before L died, he mentionned that if something were to happen to Watari, that he’d erase all the data. That means that Near had none of the informations that L had collected during his investigation.

That also means that he was able to conduct those researches by

1. Not having Light around to examine his attitude or lock him up illegaly

2. No knowledge of what had happened before L’s death

3. He was nowhere near as experienced as L when it came to solving cases (I think…)

He still was able to arrive to the same conclusion as L though, as he mentioned, it wouldn’t have been possible without Mello :)

I also happened to think about Ryuk a lot more and I think he’s the funniest character. My guy dropped his notebook into the human world because he was bored and he landed on a boy who wanted to become God of the new world. And he just went along with it, giggling every now and then. We never truly got a glimpse of his internal monologue, so we don’t know if he agreed with Light or not.

One thing we know, though, is that he sure was amused…

Light is almost as funny. Think about it. If you got a notebook that could kill people, you’d probably get rid of it (I hope so) or AT LEAST ponder on what you would do with it, or if you’d even use it. If you’re a sane human being, your first instinct would be to ‘No way! I could never kill anyone!’.

But Light wasted no time. In only one episode he went from a privileged, smart man to an absolute deranged killer, and that’s hilarious. He didn’t even think about it twice. It’s like he just had a psychotic side to him that just had to wait for the perfect moment to be released.

Also, I knew Matt didn’t have much screen time. But when I rewatched it I noticed that he really DID NOT HAVE ANY! Like they barely add up to thrirty seconds and that sucks cuz he was so cool.

Speaking of cool, MELLO!

He’s so cool like everything about him, his hair his scar HIS STYLE, his aura EVERYTHING. AND I feel like we tend to forget that he is SMART! Like he is smart enough to have been considered a good successor to L and thats crazy to me. It’s sad we didn’t get to fully experience his smartness though.

Same goes for Near. Though it is stated somewhere (I don’t remember where) that he is a little bit smarter than L (but L has a lot more experience, something that cannot be overlooked), I feel like most of the conclusions he’s made appeared from thin air. Did I just not pay attention?

Because at least with L we could see his train of thoughts, his way of thinking and we understood why he came to all those conclusions and decisions.

But with Near it just feels…rushed. (or maybe I js didn’t pay attention…) Like wdym you found that out…It feels like he was more guessing than discovering. Kinda sucks bc he is allegedly smarter than L and I would’ve loved to see it more.

Anyway,

I finished ranting. If you’ve read all this then woah pls get a life (in a nice way <3) .

Death Note amazing anime, amazing openings, amazing aesthetic, amazing characters, AMAZING EVERYTHING‼️

[blooming-gwens]

Hi Meg, I hope you are doing well! Your fic is excellent btw, extremely well written, congratulations!!! 💕 You know, thinking about her, I remembered the fact that haunts me to this day, which is how much of a self-sacrificial person Gwen is and how this bleeds into her relationships almost like a love language, and her relationship with death like Gwen becomes more relationship with death as a spider woman, for those she loves. Like, in the collider, she knew those spiders for 3 days at most? And there she was ready to take Peter's place and die on Earth-1610 to make sure he returned safely without even thinking twice. Maybe as a way to save one Peter since she can't save hers and that Earth's (because man we don't talk enough about how she was taken a week before the whole mess exploded and Gwen saw another Peter die!). She would die for the one she loves in a heartbeat and I'm afraid of how that might come across in Beyond. She would die for her friends, for Miles' family. Between saving the multiverse and ensuring that Miles returns safely no matter what the cost, I fear that my theory that she really dies at some point in Beyond (even if she will come back, I'm sure) is becoming more and more real. Because I'm sure that girl can't handle losing anyone else. And Spider-Man dances with death as much as Gwen Stacy.

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! Listen, I’ve had extensive conversations surrounding Gwen and her altruistic nature. She has fully devoted herself to being Spider-Woman that there comes a point where her own identity without the mask is smothered by all the burdens she carries between losing Peter, being wanted for his murder, and her Dad leading the hunt... That’s uh…that’s a lot for a child to carry all by herself.

After all that, there is no room for herself to exist peacefully, so when she is just Gwen Stacy, she throws herself into school work, the band, but all that comes second to none the moment Spider-Woman is needed. She’s clocked in 25/8 to being the hero she thinks Peter deserved that night. She is fully devoted to serving and protecting…even if it doesn’t clear her name. Because she is good, and she knows she’s good! She just…has to convince others to believe it (baby girl you don’t have to convince anyone) All that to say, I maintain that she was willing to stay behind that night instead of Peter B for two reasons(listed in order of relevance):

One: It was her obligation to protect everyone(specifically Peter B, because despite her claiming she was no longer affected by the notion that PB is an older variant of her Peter, there were still nibbles of clues alluding that she wasn’t as unbothered as she came across. Because Gwen is excellent at masking her feelings and instead conveys them through action).

Two: She may have felt there was nothing worth returning to.

Oof that’s a devastating pill to swallow.

With all my yapping aside, i totally agree with you!! I don’t think it’s far fetched to assume they will carry out Gwen experiencing her canon event, however, I’m hoping they will turn this fall into her true leap of faith. I have had some great talks with @civilizedyawp about this(his hc lives rent free in my head), and he has some interesting predictions that I hope will come true, as it will be a very satisfying execution (bc we are all traumatized by TASM’s Gwen let’s be SO FOR REAL)

When the time comes to save the ones she loves, cares about, and cherishes, her life is the minimum price she is willing to pay. She is a protector at her core (everything she did in Atsv was silverlined with the intention of protecting Miles)Her heart is so, so big, but her self love could be bigger imo. I’m hoping that’s something Miles and Gwen can awaken together as it’s something they both seem to struggle with (something something they are the same something something in the important ways)

Anyways, very excited for the next movie and I’m trying not to have expectations bc I know whatever we get will be phenomenal.

Thank you for your kind words about For Everything! I’m grateful you always wanna come yap with me 💕let’s do it again soon, yeah?

[drarryspecificrecs]

H/D Mpreg Fest 2022 : (fics only)

@harrydracompreg || official masterpost || AO3 || ∑ = 22 works (art, fic, podfic) The Mods : @sassy-cissa & @timothysboxers Banner © : @celilasart’s Welcome home, Lily

1. The Harry Potter Pregnancy Support Society by @deliciousblizzardshark [M, 11k]

Harry Potter is deep in the closet when he discovers he's pregnant with Draco Malfoy's baby. Luckily, Hermione Granger, activist extraordinare, is here to help.

2. Hurt Me, Love Me by @maraudersaffair [E, 15k]

Draco, pregnant and on the run from his criminal ex-boyfriend, takes shelter under Auror Harry Potter’s protection. Sparks fly between the two, but Harry discovers that Draco is used to receiving love and affection with very specific conditions. All Harry knows for sure is that he will stop at nothing to protect Draco and his unborn child.

3. in my defense, i have none by @the-houseryn [E, 18k]

Draco's love for ruining Harry Potter's image departed as he became a fully-formed adult, leaving him bound tight to bear the consequences of their perfect clandestine date alone or otherwise become the focal point in the biggest Harry Potter scandal since Voldemort's reign.

4. Just Give Me a Reason by @sassy-cissa [E, 24k]

It's easy to misunderstand a situation when you're in the same country – when your new boyfriend is thousands of miles away, it's nearly impossible. Toss in an unexpected pregnancy, an ex-boyfriend and The Prophet with its exaggerations and it's no wonder Draco is confused.

5. Just So I Could Call You Mine by @minty-petals [M, 16k]

Harry saved Draco from a life of prison, became friends with him during eight year, and protected him from all harm. It’s his right. So what if he makes a potion to make Draco be impregnated? Being with Harry is better than being stuck in an arranged marriage with a woman. Draco would be lucky. Blessed even.

6. Listen To Your Heart by @ladderofyears [E, 65k]

Draco and Harry are Auror partners and secret lovers. They have been tasked with helping to solve the Cursed Objects Case, a series of mysterious crimes that have been terrorising the magical population of London. When Draco is faced with an unplanned pregnancy, their previously ordered life is thrown into disarray.

7. My Favourite Thing by @jackyrita [E, 16k]

Draco's marriage to Astoria failed before they could have an heir. Draco desperately wants a child, but is unable to carry for himself. Harry volunteers to be a surrogate.

8. The Only Way that the Roses Bloom by @slytherinthelibrary [E, 17k]   *restricted

Harry is a Ministry Investigator, undercover as an Azkaban guard to help Hermione and the rest of his friends build a case against the prison. He is set to guard somebody in the Death Eater block. Draco Malfoy thought his life was over after his sudden incarceration in Azkaban. As it turns out, Draco's life has just begun.

9. A Quickening Hope, A Freshening Glee by @maesterchill [, k]   *restricted

The one where Draco and Harry find out from Remus Lupin in a Ministry lift that they're going to have a baby. And Sirius flips out.

10. A Second Chance (I've done well enough with mine) by @flightinflame [M, 4k]

Heavily pregnant and lost, Harry escapes his abusive partner and in desperation goes to Knockturn Alley using a glamour to conceal his identity. He isn't expecting the healer that is fetched to help him to be Draco Malfoy, but given he needs help now, he accepts Malfoy's support. Malfoy's changed a lot since school. But then, maybe Harry has as well.

11. Unwanted — Beloved by @gnarf [T, 3k]

Feeling tears sting at the edges of his eyes, Harry picked the baby up and scooted inside. Who'd do something like this? Who'd discard a baby on someone's doorstep? On his doorstep?

12. Where I see things right by InnerLilith [E, 15k]

When Harry finds himself unexpectedly pregnant after a one-off with Draco Malfoy, he knows he isn’t keeping it. But when actually getting the abortion turns out to be more complicated than Harry expected, he finds himself turning to Malfoy for help through the process. And that’s actually much less complicated than Harry expected.

13. You'll Still Find Stone by @flightinflame [M, 42k]

Draco had to marry Potter to stay out of Azkaban. Narcissa told him he’d be safer there. But he doesn’t know what Potter expects from him - this marriage is nothing like he had been prepared for. Potter’s acting kindly, and he knows it’s all a trick. He’s just about coping, but trying to keep Potter happy becomes more important than ever when he realises he’s carrying the man’s child.

14. you're alive by @the-houseryn [M, 27k]

The most boring shift in the world, filled with Muggle car ride games to pass the time, was interrupted by a tow-head boy begging for help to save his papa and ultimately changed Harry's life from there on out. For the better, of course.

—

✔ other fests in 2022 ✔ fests in other years ✔ H/D Mpreg Fest : 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[kafkaoftherubble]

把死人给带回来？ 难道...?！

// If They Are Bringing Back the Dead...

This post contains spoilers for Chapter 184.1 of To Your Eternity.

It also contains speculations galore. This is NOT a meta essay.

Shoutout to my homie branetheory in Discord!

Thanks to them, I was reminded of what Parts of My Brain had wanted to talk about:

Bruh. I can't believe ToFu made me so high last night that I forgot to talk about this.

Honestly I regret nothing Okay, memory water.

A little Kafka Aside: I'm gonna have to consciously ignore how... not-there the scientific backing for this is. Honestly, this Memory Water thing reminded me of the New Age/Pseudoscientific idea of "water memory" or Masaru Emoto's "water consciousness" thing or DNA teleportation. However, this is a story where weirder shits have happened, so suspension of disbelief willingly and gleefully granted. I just need to get this out of my head first.

To reiterate, Kaibara's experimental procedure involves

Extracting cells from a person's body

"Turn" it into water (how?)

Make a "clone" drink it (who?)

-----------------------------------------------------

Who could these clones be?

The only clones we know so far are the Mizuha clones. Their existence seems to imply a similar purpose to Hayase's descendants—they are supposed to inherit Hayase's Will, which is 95% "get injected with a tumor we call the Left Hand Nokker."

But Nokkers have long become invisible and fully integrated into this ecosystem. In the Future Era, they are embedded in tag chips, and they grant the bodies they possess all sorts of abilities and augmentations.

What would an inheritance of Hayase's Will even look like here? At first, I thought it would be similar: a tag chip with the Left Hand in it. Mizuha's, uh, possession (for the lack of a better word) manifested through the same mechanism other Nokkers used, after all.

However, the story gradually told us that the clones had all been massacred via an unknown operation for yet-untold reasons. Why would they do that?

Were these clones failures?

If they were failures, then it would make sense why Kaibara treated them as disposable; after all, in the past, the Guardians always exalted Hayase's Descendant(s) no matter how incompetent they were at their mission. Failure to secure Fushi's seeds I mean love never made them disposable enough to be killed, right?

So, as branetheory (crediting my homie even though they might not see this ahahhahah) also thought—

Could it be that Hayase herself has been successfully reincarnated in the body of one of these clones? (8)

I assigned this hypothesis an 8, or "80% confidence level."

Is she who you're gonna see, Bon?

Why would Kaibara need so many Mizuha clones in the first place? They only need one Descendant. They only have one Left-Hand Nokker...

Unless these clones were made specifically for bringing back Hayase. They were all experiments. Few experiments ever go right at the first trial. But this? Experiments this challenging and important as "recreating our legendary progenitor, Hayase?"

It will definitely require a lot of trial and error. So these clones were made to be expendables.

Honestly, who would name their offspring with numbers if they weren't meant to be seen as expendables?

----

There is an interesting point to note: Memory Water only works if one has a Nokker implanted in them. Remember how Abel can't drink it and instantly know the answers to their stupid-ass questions?

So do all clones have Nokkers implanted in them? They all own a tag chip, after all. But there is only one Left Hand Nokker, and that bitch seems deadset on possessing only Hayase's appointed heir (or in this case, Hayase herself).

Does that mean

all the clones have their own Nokkers, but none of it is the Left Hand, until the Experiment? (3) OR

all the clones have empty tag chips until the Experiment, in which the Left Hand Nokker is then implanted inside before the subject drinks the Memory Water? (6) OR

other hypotheses I could not think of at the moment? (1)

------------------------------------------

Doro and Her Sisters: Were They Trying To Stage a Rebellion Against Kaibara's Highest Echelon? (7)

Assigned (7); "70% confidence level"

Could this scene actually depict a failed experimental result, where #32/Doro was the subject? After all, she didn't look like she died in a massacre. She looked like she died alone, leaving her sisters behind..

Doro liaisoned with Fushi in secret. So secretly, Tonari didn't know it happened.

Why would she do that? Way back then, me and the Discord gang had speculated some sort of clash between Doro and the rest of Kaibara. At that time, I think our speculation was that it had to do with the Wish-granting Orb specifically.

But now, with this new information in mind...

Could it be that the liaison was part of the clones' planned rebellion? (6)

Assigned 6; "60% confidence level."

It could be that, in addition to passing vital information about Kaibara to Fushi (who is still not exactly forthcoming about what they know so far), Doro was also trying to ensure that the Wish-granting Orb will never fall into the Highest Echelon's hands.

Was her conviction formed out of concerns about what Kaibara might do with the orb?

Or was her reasoning more pragmatic—she didn't want Kaibara to have the power to crush her rebellion?

----

Back to the number-as-naming convention. What if these weren't names, but the assigned turn of each clone for the ultimate experiment (6)? If that's the case, then Doro is the 32nd experiment that failed.

That's a lot. And the fact that she failed would mean the experiment will keep going. The clones will keep being bred to be used for these experiments. It's a conflict ripe for seeds of rebellion, right?

And so, there are extra hypotheses as to why the clones were massacred in the first place:

Hayase has been successfully reincarnated (8)

The clones' rebellion plan has been found out (7)

Hayase has been successfully reincarnated AND the clones' rebellion plan has been found out (5.6; 8/10×7/10)

----------------------------------------

Dolly's Purpose(s)

While Doll's original purpose might have been for amusement and fun—Doro rescued it from some trash heap and just engineered it to be a playmate—I had always found its ability to dish out powerful punches suspicious. Why would a playmate be good at granting people concussions in the first place?!

And it was good enough to take out mercenaries, right?

I'm quite confident that Doll's punch is a defensive ability to guard whatever's stored in its memory (9).

I should review what Previous Me had speculated:

Doll holds Doro's brainwaves or consciousness

Doll holds the Left Hand Nokker within it

Doll is a combination of Doro's consciousness/brainwaves and its original AI

There is also the speculation that Doll is the Wish-granting Orb itself, but I think the confidence level for that hypothesis has gone pretty low... at least to me, personally. It sits at less than 10%.

Now, I want to add new hypotheses and rearrange them from most confident to least:

Doll's memories include Kaibara's top secret: key infrastructures, their real master(s), their experiments, whatever information they have gained about the Wish-granting Orb, their master plan to counter Fushi, and the like. Things that could give rebelling clones an edge. (8)

Doll holds Doro's brainwaves/consciousness integrated within its original AI (7)

Doll holds Doro's brainwaves/consciousness AND it is Doro's consciousness/memories that possess knowledge of Kaibara's top secret (5.6; 8/10×7/10)

Doll holds the Left Hand Nokker (less than 2)

The first (and by extension, the third) hypothesis can be supplemented by the fact that Kaibara really wants the Doll. Why, if not because the Doll holds vital information regarding the entire company?

They could go after it for Doro's consciousness, sure, but the priority would drop a lot more, wouldn't it? ...Unless the third hypothesis is true!

The second hypothesis can be partially supplemented by Abel's dedication to possessing the Doll; he really cherished Doro, and to him, the Doll could lead him to her again. He also claimed that Doro "is still alive," though when pressed, he gave no evidence.

Was it wistful thinking, or could he have been privy to Doro's experiment to transfer her consciousness into Doll? Did he really know nothing about Doro's death?

There is also the "Now I am human" line Doro uttered while blindfolded. Given we now know what the clones are used for, Doro might see her existence to be inhuman/subhuman because of her real purpose. Maybe, to her, she could feel more human by being a doll than in her human body.

Hell, who knows? Doro might secretly envy Abel's humanness—a guy who was likely born from normal copulation and couldn't fit in with the rest of the Tagged society, yet all the more a genuine human being than the rest of them.

-----------------------------------

What is the nature of Doll's Brainwaves?

Could it have been a digital transfer, or could it have used a similar mechanism to the Memory Water?

----------------------------------

Miscellaneous Implications of Memory Water Bringing Back the Dead

Bruh I swear if they reincarnated the Nameless Boy to torment Fushi I will fucking sever my friendship with Left Hand Nokker and nuke their Paradise. Oh hi Left Hand, nothing over here.

----------------------------------

And that concludes my hypotheses round-up, updated to only Chapter 184.1. Remember! Y'all are always welcome to reblog and add your own thoughts to it!

Fuck, I will be so honored if y'all Fushi-fied my writing by adding absolutely anything.

Thank you for reading my ramble. Rest assured, I have prepared just the right image for the moment I clown myself by having most of my hypotheses come out spectacularly falsified:

(Hi everyone this is Kei from Ajin)