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#there's one song in particular for which i apologize in advance
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I've been slowly working on a skk playlist but now that the Final Countdown is upon us I didn't want to wait to share what I've got so far. Enjoy...?
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matryosika · 9 months
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Recording Sessions
Pairing — 3racha and Reader
Wordcount — 3,485 words
Genre — Smut
Warnings — Dom!Chan and Changbin, Switch(sub lean)!Jisung, consensual voice recording. Dirty talk, use of petnames (slut), mild humiliation, oral sex (m. receiving), brief spanking, unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, mild cum play, sex in a recording booth.
Autor's note — Wrote this a while ago for a commission, but as I was lurking through my google drive I found this again. I think its fun and I've been meaning to post something for a while now, but I can't get anything done sadly. I think I wrote this back in may or june? I am not too sure, but I hope you like it! I've been writing for NCT these days and I have 2 wips for them. I'm also working on something with Lee Know as a character. I hope I can get any of that finished soon! Hope you enjoy this, and I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes in advance 🤍
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“Do any of you even know what a real moan sounds like?”
The look on their faces is amusing. Hadn't you been inside the recording booth, you're sure Changbin would have already headlocked you in a playful manner for running your mouth. 
But you are inside the recording booth, the three of them sitting in the studio with frustration written all over their faces.
“This sounds so fake,” you continue, taking off the headset. “What did you type in youtube to get this sample? Women moaning ASMR?”
“You’re not being helpful at all, you know that?” Changbin asks, trying to keep a serious demeanor but failing almost miserably every time he remembers the audio samples that are currently as background vocals in their upcoming song. They do sound awful, but he isn't as straight-forward as you are.
“Well, you asked for my opinion and I’m giving it to you,” the smug look on your face pisses off Chan just a little, but it is nothing new —the endless bickering between the both of you has happened ever since you two met. It's always light-hearted and friendly, but it surely does bring some tension into your friendship with him.
“Any ideas on how we can improve this?” 
“For once, get rid of all the fake moaning and get something that actually sounds like a woman being pleasured,” you instruct them, and smile when you see the three of them paying attention to your words. They have such abilities when it comes to music and producing, but they often look for constructive criticism outside their small group of three just to see things from different perspectives. “We don’t sound like that, it’s more like gasping for air and deep sighs accompanied with mostly quiet moans. This sounds like someone shouting exaggeratedly”.
“I’ve tried,” Chan murmurs, leaning back on his studio chair that he spins slightly. “But nothing sounds right. It’s a bit too much, maybe”.
“No, I do think the song calls for background sounds like these,” you encourage the trio. “It’s just- you need something more raw and real”.
There’s a quick moment of silence in which the four of you exchange glances, without exactly saying anything in particular.
Changbin and Chan look too deep into their own thoughts, probably trying to come up with another idea or alternative for that sound sample you all hate so much. Jisung, on the other hand, is staring right into you through the glass barrier that separates you from them, with an idea in mind he’s not quite sure how to deliver, but that he ends up doing it anyway. 
“What if we record you?” Jisung asks, drawing the scowling glances of the other two. “I mean, you can obviously fake them since you're a woman, right?” 
The suggestion has you cackling quietly, but even Chan and Changbin are considering it —you can tell by how they're looking at you as if they're expecting your verdict.
“Right,” you scoff, crossing both of your arms in front of your chest, “because what better way to spend my Saturday afternoon than faking moans inside a recording booth”. 
“It’s not going to take you long,” It’s Chan who speaks this time. The one you thought was going to be the least to be on board with such a crazy idea. “We all know this isn’t going to be the first time you fake them”. 
Your mouth opens in awe and you curse them mentally when they all laugh under their breaths. It was just one time, with a guy you didn’t even like, and you told them about it because you wanted to get the embarrassing memory out of your system. You were too bored, and desperate to go, that you ended up faking a series of moans that tricked him into thinking you were finished. 
“Very funny, Christopher,” you spit, resentful. “I thought you promised not to bring that shit up, ever again”.
“And I thought you promised you’d help us,” Chan attacks, “so what is it going to be?”
You look at them for a couple of seconds, pondering the situation. You can help them, you really have nothing better to do —yet a better idea comes to mind. 
“Why faking it if you can have the real deal?” you ask, nibbling at the skin against your fingernails. You’re trying to appear collected, but even suggesting such a crazy idea it’s making you feel uneasy. Unless you've gotten the signals wrong, you know they won't turn down such a proposal. “You’re all just sitting there, when one of you could help me”.
It’s Jisung who leans down over the console, clicking a red button to open the microphone.
“What exactly are you proposing?”
“Well, you were the one who pinned this on me, Han,” judging by their facial expressions, you know they understood exactly what you meant. They just want to make sure you are all on the same page. “Why don’t you come here and help me, so we can get this over with?”
“Why him?” Changbin immediately asks, offended even because you didn't consider him as your first option.
“Do you want to help me too?” you chuckle, “because I wouldn’t mind if you joined”.
“Han,” Chan’s cold voice interrupts the silence, catching the attention of the younger. He doesn’t say anything else, but rather signals for him to get inside the recording booth with a tilt of his head.
Jisung doesn’t say anything either, but his eyes flutter between you and Chan, almost begging for further instructions. He hesitates, perplexed. Not because he doesn’t want this, but because he really can’t begin to comprehend this is really happening.
“If you don’t want to, Changbin can do it,” the older speaks again.
“N-no, I mean- I can do it,” Jisung stands up from his studio chair abruptly and hastily, like he is in a rush. To be honest, he kind of is —he has been daydreaming of this moment ever since he met you, so he isn't going to waste it. Even if that means there are going to be other people watching or involved. “I just- what do I do?”
Chan and Changbin scoff quietly, teasing him. “You should ask her that question,” the former replies, crossing both of his arms and leaning back on his chair, “not us”.
“Yeah, okay”. 
Jisung walks inside the booth, swallowing thickly. Is he really about to do this? Is he dreaming? Or is this some sort of a sick joke?
He can’t help but overthink the situation, but every single one of his thoughts goes away when you welcome him into your embrace, holding him tightly against your body with his half-hard cock pressing against your lower abdomen and your tits against his toned chest. The other two are watching, and that only riles him up a lot more.
“Have you ever been this shy?” You tease him, wrapping your arms around his neck and brushing your lips against his. “You’re always so cocky, always running your mouth. But right now you aren’t. I wonder why”. 
“We don’t have that much time,” Chan warns you through the speakers, and you can feel the despair in his voice. Like Changbin, he’s anticipating something and you’re edging them, just like you are to Jisung. 
“Then I’m going to need more help,” you hum, latching your fingers against Jisung’s dark hair while pulling him closer to the crook of your neck. He loses no time and starts kissing and licking the sensitive flesh, hiding his face there. You, on the other hand, look through the glass barrier proudly to the other two who are out. “From the both of you”. 
“One isn’t enough for you? Do you need the three of us?” Chan asks, poking his cheek with his tongue. Changbin, on the other hand, observes the scene in awe, with both excitement and impatience. You don't reply, but shoot an accomplice glance at the older. “I always knew you were some of a slut, I just didn’t think this much”.
“Well, now you know,” you smile, biting your lower lip when Jisung sucks on a sensitive spot a bit too harshly, “so start recording”. 
The following moments are blurry, perhaps because of how nervous you are. You try to act in control, like you're the one calling the shots. But when you feel the three of them near you, with their hands all over you, it's hard to. 
“You’re not that bold now, are you?” Chan whispers in your ear, pressing your arse against his crotch. To your sides, there’s Jisung and Changbin, who grope and kiss your body as much as the other allows them to.
“I’m doing this for you,” you sigh, kicking your head back until it meets Chan’s shoulder. 
“Right,” he scoffs, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing you to kneel in front of Changbin and Jisung. “We just wanted your advice, but somehow we ended up like this”.
“I wonder why,” you tease him looking up to him while your hands tease the men in front of you.
“I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s such a filthy slut,” Changbin murmurs, caressing your hair back. 
You can feel them through their sweatpants —you can feel how hard and ready they are for you, how desperate they are for your touch. You wish to take your sweet time with them, to suck the three of until they come in your mouth only to fuck you afterwards. 
You want more than just a quick fuck. But this will have to do for now.
“Suck them off,” Chan orders, pleased with the sight of you on your knees. 
Good thing you’re wearing such accessible clothes today —you’re making his job ten times easier.
“Get us nice and wet, baby,” Changbin proceeds, pulling your head against his crotch while he lowers his sweatpants just enough to release his throbbing cock. “We’re going to fuck you with it, so it’s up to you how easy you’re going to make this for yourself”.
“Don’t forget Jisung too,” the one behind you murmurs into your ear, practically kneeling right beside you while he pulls up your dress, revealing a shameful piece of clothing that he can barely name as underwear. The sight makes Chan’s cock throb even harder. “See how much he’s leaking? I know he has been dreaming of this for a while now”. 
“Fucker,” Jisung hisses through gritted teeth, feeling betrayed by his friend. Truth is, he isn’t telling any lies.
“Aw, you have?” He has been infatuated with you for quite some time now, and he is too awkward to be discreet about it. You have caught him checking you out shamelessly, and it has always been a turn on for you. 
“We all have,” Changbin says, nibbling at his lower lip when you wrap your hand around his cock. You squeeze both of them hard, staring up at them with a mischievous smile. “If only you knew what we talk about when you’re not around”. 
“Mh, I feel a little excluded now,” you pout. “Why don’t you guys just show me?”
You spent another ten minutes on your knees, being throat fucked by your dearest friends Changbin and Jisung. They take turns in burying their cocks inside your warm mouth, using your hair as leverage to let you know which one of them to suck next.
In the meantime, Chan just watches. 
You’re drooling all over yourself by now, your shirt ruined with a mixture of spit, precum and sweat. Your skin feels sticky, your mouth feels full and your pussy feels wet —you really wouldn’t be surprised if the floor was stained with your arousal.
“C’me here,” Chan tells you, grabbing you by your arm and helping you get in a different position. Your knees are bruised and red, but you don’t really care —tomorrow it will be a fun reminder of what happened today. “Now let’s really start recording”. 
You lay on the floor on all fours, with your ass up and your hands and knees supporting your body weight. It's an uncomfortable position, but you can only do much in a recording booth with no bed or couches.
The first one to take a spot right behind you is Changbin. Out of the three, it’s the one who seems more desperate to get his release and you kind of understand him —you’re desperate to feel something too, anything.
“I don’t have-” his voice is strangled, almost panicking. You can feel his hands gripping your hips, and the tip of his cock brushing against your slit. 
“I don’t care,” you encourage him, whimpering when Chan forces your head to face his throbbing dick that he has his fist wrapped around. “Just fuck me”.
It’s the heat of the moment that's getting the best out of you, but you can’t begin to regret it when you feel Changbin’s cock burying itself little by little inside your aching pussy. You try to hold back your moans, worrying that someone outside the hall might hear you, but you know it’s practically impossible.
Plus, that’s the reason why you’re there, anyways.
 So you start enjoying the moment, being as vocal as possible. If anything, the lewd sounds escaping through your lips are only pushing Changbin towards the edge, hips snapping at yours roughly enough to get a series of strained moans immersed in both pleasure and pain.
“You sound so g-good,” Changbin grunts, biting his lower lip to stop himself from being too loud. “Had I known your moans were this pretty, I've would've fucked you before”.
“Fuck, Changbin”. The way his name falls from your lips boosts his ego, and he’s glad everything is being recorded. He makes a mental note to go back to the recording later today, just in case he needs to unwind.
“Jisung will fuck you after him,” Chan demands your attention yet again, brushing the tip of his cock against your lips. He’s kneeling in front of you while Changbin is pounding your pussy from behind. Jisung, on the other hand, is stroking himself while he witnesses the scene; too shy to actually make a move himself, like the rest of them. “And then I will go next, how does that sound?”
“How many seconds- of the sample do you even need?” you chuckle, but the laugh is soon muffled by another whimper caused by Changbin’s ministrations. 
“Just a couple,” he replies, smearing his precum along your lips. “But I’m sure you wouldn’t want to leave this studio without being fucked by Jisung and me, right?”
You love his cockiness, and how he is always almost right. So you nod frantically, clenching around Changbin at the idea of being filled with the both of them in just a couple of seconds.
It doesn’t take him long to come inside you, especially not with how much your pussy is clenching around him. He does so shamelessly, grunting your name and gripping your hips too harshly you’re sure it will leave a mark tomorrow.
When he pulls out, commanded by Jisung who is too desperate to wait another second, you feel his sticky arousal leaking out of you. It’s a weird sensation, and it makes you feel dirty, but you can’t deny you like it. 
And you like it even more when you feel the tip of Jisung’s cock gathering all of his friend’s cum, fucking it back into you little by little, making sure it doesn’t go to waste.
“Who would’ve thought, hm?” You whimper, feeling a bit sore from Changbin’s aggressive care. “You’re not as innocent as I thought, Jisungie”.
He doesn’t say anything, but gives you a sharp thrust in response. One that makes your whole body jolt and tremble, one that earns you one of the prettiest moans the three of them have ever heard.
Chan is sure the recording is good to be used by now, but he doesn’t want to stop just yet. Or at least not until he also gets his fun.
“S-so tight,” Jisung murmurs, holding you more delicately than Changbin did. You love the contrast, though, and they’re both a good fuck. “And warm, all filled up with cum”.
“You’re going to fill me up too, Jisungie?” On any other occasion, the nickname would’ve earned you a killer gaze and a couple of curses from him. But right now, Jisung doesn’t mind. In fact, he likes it. There’s something enticing about you acting like the one in control.
“Can- I?” He asks with a shakily breath. His sloppy movements tell you he is close, and you take it as a compliment. A minute is definitely a record, but you’re really not mad about it. 
“That depends,” you tease him, crying out loud when his cock starts hitting sensitive spots inside your walls. “Are you going to come a lot for me?” 
“Ngh, y-yes,” Jisung whimpers. “Please, I’m- close, just let- say yes, please”.
“Go on,” you order him, arching your ass even more for him. “Give it to me”. 
Not even a couple of seconds later, you feel a now familiar sensation warming up your lower tummy, leaking through your pussy and onto your thighs. 
“Shit,” Changbin scoffs, checking the scene out. “You made a fucking mess”. 
You want to look at what he did, know how much he came for you, but Chan reinforces your initial position yet again by arching your ass even more.
“Be a good slut for me,” he tells you, landing a sharp spank on one of your ass cheeks. The sudden action makes you cry out in pain, but you don’t hate the sensation completely. “And I’ll be good to you”.
You’re not quite sure what he means, and you don’t get time to ask before he’s bottoming out inside of you. 
“Fuck!” you moan, suddenly losing the strength on your arms and your upper body threatening to plop down onto the floor. “C-chan!”
“C’me here,” he groans, sneaking a hand underneath your tummy looking for your clit. Again, the position isn’t the best but he somehow makes it work. And when you feel his digits rubbing your nerves just at the same pace of his thrusts, you start clenching around him even harder.
“Oh my g-god,” that stimulation is exactly what you need to come undone. Jisung and Changbin did a hell of a job getting you closer to your orgasm, but this is exactly what you needed to reach your climax.
And a well deserved one.
“Come,” Chan grunts through gritted teeth, biting his lower lip while furrowing his eyebrows. The sight of your ass bouncing against his cock is enough to get him to come, but he needs you to come first. “I’ll come with you”.
“Ngh- Chan,” and just like some magic words, you’re coming right after his order. He can feel you tightening around him, trying to milk his cock just as badly as you did with the other two. And he can’t resist that feeling, so he sticks up to his word and comes inside you almost at the same time. 
“Such- a good- little fucking slut,” his words are strained and painful. But his voice only contributes more to your own orgasm, just like the feeling of his cum filling you up. 
It takes the two of you a few moments to actually stop —even after coming, he kept on fucking you slowly until he made sure to fuck all of their cum inside of you. The last thing he wanted was to make a mess inside the recording booth, but it was inevitable. 
The floor is stained with all sorts of fluids, ones that are dripping out of your swollen pussy and others that no one knows how they got there. 
“Jisung,” Chan sighs, caressing your hips while fixing his clothes. “Stay with her, I’ll go get something to clean her up. Make sure she’s alright, and take her to the sofa in the studio, ‘kay?”
Jisung nods, attentive, and he helps you get up off the floor with ease. He wraps his arm around you, and fixes the top part of your dress to which you mutter a quick and soft thank you. 
“Changbin’s going to get you something to eat or drink, and I’ll take care of this. Alright?” 
You nod, still supporting your whole weight on Jisung. Your sore legs can only do much.
“He’s going to be with you in the meantime, but we will all be right back,” Chan’s soft gaze is the opposite to what he showed inside the recording booth, but you absolutely adore the contrast. 
“Yeah, ‘s okay,” you smile. 
“You did good, yeah?” Chan smiles, caressing your hair, “sounded so pretty for us”.
You offer them a weak, yet satisfied smile, “my pleasure”. 
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slashersteve · 1 year
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iii. winter
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part three of confetti ✦ previous part ✦ series masterlist ✦ archive link
pairing: Single Dad!Steve Harrington/Female Reader
summary: As Hawkins enters the winter months, Steve starts thinking seriously about his romantic relationships - past and potential future ones - and isn’t sure he’s ready to let someone become a serious part of his and Cassie’s life. The problem is…he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you.
warnings/extra tags: cursing, mentions of alcohol, the softest vanilla SMUT I’ve ever written like it's pretty vague but still enough to be considered nsfw so read at your own discretion, surprise character appearances, a parent trap alskjaskja, angsty tm so beware, daddy steve being my (your) beloved, go give @gothbitchshit a bouquet of flowers for dealing with me and these ridiculously long chapters, edited by me have mercy this chapter has been the beautiful bane of my existence
note: i publicly apologize for this being posted well into spring. Not to be a basic author note but *insert the horrors and atrocities right here* i also apologize in advance for something else in the end...anyway, I hope you all enjoy this extra long chapter of single daddy steve 💙
✦✦✦
Cassie loved the mall. 
She really just enjoyed the vibrant colors of it as it was the complete opposite color scheme of Hawkins itself. It was bright, and always full, and lively, especially when Christmas was just around the corner. If Cassie were being honest though, she would say she enjoyed going to Starcourt because her dad would get her ice cream every time, even on a day like this where snow covered the ground outside.
Also, it meant she could get the full day to be with her dad, even if he was busy behind the ice cream counter in his silly sailor uniform, complete with the white hat that read “AHOY” across the front that he’d somehow stuff his hair under. 
Cassie was given a matching one, but it sat on the table top of the booth she was currently sitting in, headphones placed over her head instead. She was nodding her head to the music, kicking her feet out to its funky beat. She hadn’t quite memorized the songs by title, rather by sound but she liked this one the most; really she liked all of them. 
It had all she had been listening to since Steve had given her your walkman you gifted her, and Cassie had been waiting on another mixtape from you (she had practically begged you when she last saw you last week, which was at a school presentation for school safety, she remembers…she also remembers looking over and seeing her dad pushing people just to stand by you).
In front of her was her over break homework packet, her math homework to be specific. Cassie prided herself in being good at it, having been applauded by her teacher Mrs. Holland numerous times in class. There were hardly any red marks on homework when it was returned to her, too, something her dad was always impressed by when she’d bring it back to him, especially if he hadn't helped her at all, so she wasn’t planning on falling behind. 
She counted away at the images of the apples. This particular section she was working on was on addition and she meticulously counted them all together with her candy cane themed pencil her teacher had passed out to the class the week prior. 
One…two…three…four…  
Twenty-two, there were twenty-two apples. She filled it in on the empty box behind the equal sign. 
The patrons were used to seeing Cassie here on occasion, though every so often somebody who was not from Hawkins and visiting from a neighboring town (as Starcourt was quite popular because of its size), would look at her and wonder why a little girl was sitting all by herself. 
If they asked Cassie, she’d simply point to her dad behind the counter and say, “I’m not alone! My daddy is right here!” Then, Steve would wave at her, and the person would awkwardly walk off. That was the typical Saturday spent at Scoops Ahoy, but today something different would happen, something neither Cassie nor Steve were expecting just a week before Christmas. 
In the middle of Cassie’s music playing, someone had taken off her headphones. She had gasped, feeling her heart jump out of her chest with fear and confusion as to what happened- she hardly got upset, and her streak still stands as the moment she turned to see who had done such a thing, her irritation vanished. 
“Robin!” Cassie shouted at the sight of the sandy blonde haired woman. She smiled widely at Cassie, opening her arms just as the little girl hopped into them, “I didn’t know you were coming!” 
“Long time no see, huh Tiny Harrington?” Robin Buckley had said, embracing Cassie warmly as it had been a while since she last saw her favorite child, “Where’s your dad? Is he- oh come on .” 
Her blue eyes darted to Steve behind the counter, not remembering the last time she’d seen Steve in the ridiculous Scoops Ahoy uniform they had to wear the summer they became unlikely friends. Cassie giggled, taking Robin’s hand in hers and leading her toward the counter. Steve had yet to see them, too focused on making a U.S.S. Butterscotch (complete with some peppermint candy swirls for the Holidays). He hadn't even heard Cassie shout Robin’s name so excitedly. 
Robin looked down at Cassie, placing a finger over her lips then winking at her as she rang the bell by the counter. Cassie giggled, but suppressed it as she didn’t want to alarm her dad.
“Be right with you,” Steve called back to her, and Robin scoffed and rang it again…then again…and then again. Steve’s shoulder’s visibly became tense, and he let out an exasperated sigh before he started to turn around. 
“Alright, alright what can I-” he stopped when his eyes fell upon Robin, and she smirked at him, “Oh my god, you didn’t tell me you were coming, Robin? Holy shit-” 
“I wanted it to be a surprise- and it certainly is, ” Robin gestured to Steve and then the entire place as she said, “You’re working here ? I thought you said you got a third job last time we spoke.” 
Steve’s cheeks became flushed, embarrassed that Robin had caught him red handed like this. The truth was that Steve was actually hiding this job from Robin, keeping his third job he mentioned in passing to her whenever they spoke over the phone very vaguely . 
“Daddy started working here in the summer,” Cassie stated, outing Steve even more and Robin’s jaw dropped, “I like it because I get free ice cream! He can get you free ice cream too, you know!” 
Robin looked at Cassie and ruffled her hair, “I spent way too much time in this place, I’ll pass on the ice cream, so hey…that just means more ice cream for you.” 
Cassie looked confused, but with Robin’s final statement she grew more content and nodded eagerly at the idea of more ice cream. 
“So all summer you’ve been working here, slinging ice cream- wearing the hat - you hated that hat,” Robin said, gesturing to him. Steve licked his suddenly dry lips, and turned away from Robin to finish completing the U.S.S. Butterscotch sundae as he said, “I needed a third job, and the manager remembered me…” 
“No way. I thought he might have you on the ‘Never Working Here Again’ list after the summer you well- we got fired,” Robin chided, and Steve laughed sarcastically as he turned and placed the sundae down, calling out the name of the patron. They took it, a few younger girls, and thanked him shyly before running off giggling. Robin scoffed at that, and Steve appeared to not even notice they were clearly crushing on the sailor who worked at Scoops Ahoy.
“Yeah…actually I had to bring Cassie up and he decided to give me the job when I proved she existed…hence why I’m wearing the hat and following…stupid company policy to keep the damn- ahem- dang job,” Steve finally replied, admitting that part to Robin. Robin crossed her arms, knowing that to be true as she had told Steve he could probably bring up that he’s a single dad and get away with anything. 
“Well, I’m not judging,” Robin lied, and Steve knew it, “You just could’ve been honest about it.” 
She wondered what other things he had been keeping from her…
“How did you find me anyway?” Steve questioned, glancing down at Cassie who was gazing up at Robin with wonder and disbelief in her eyes that Robin was here. It made him smile softly before his eyes lifted back up to meet Robin’s.
“Are you kidding me…ask any mom at the grocery store and I can get your entire schedule,” Robin said. She laughed at Steve’s horrified expression at the idea of that and waved him off as she said, “Joking. I asked Mrs. K and she said to check Scoops Ahoy. And here you are…she just didn’t say you would be working here.” 
She looked around, feeling nostalgia come over her from the memories in this mall ice cream parlor. She remembered the dread of being put on shifts with Steve Harrington, once King of Hawkins High and all around asshole, and then…she remembered the warmer parts, ones where they actually became friends and she started to actually have fun working and talking with him. He was very different than she thought he would be, and if someone had told her that first day she put on the silly sailor uniform and prayed a meteor would hit and kill her before her first shift with Steve that she’d consider him her best friend in the future…she would’ve laughed then cried into her hands dramatically.
“Robin, Robin,” Cassie was grabbing her hand, “How long are you going to stay? Please say for like… months .” 
Robin smiled at Cassie and replied, “Sorry kiddo, I’m only here for a few days because I’ll start to miss my other favorite person, but before you get sad- I have a lot of things planned for us, including finding you an early Christmas gift. What do you say? Want to go check out some stores while your dad slings ice cream into cones?” 
Her brown eyes lit up, and she turned to her dad as she said, “Can I go with Robin, daddy?” 
Steve crossed his arms over his chest, and said, “Did you finish your homework?” 
Robin rolled her eyes for Cassie, but she had practically ran to the booth, and snatched the paper off of the table before running back and waving it in the air. Steve took it, giving it a once over, before he nodded. 
“Yeah, go ahead- make sure you stay with Robin though, Cass, you know how crazy Christmas shoppers could be,” he told Cassie with a pointed look, Cassie nodded again. 
“I will, I promise!” 
“You know I’d never let anything happen to her, Popeye,” Robin said, bringing back the infamous nickname from their Scoops Ahoy days. Steve visibly grimaced at being called that, but he nodded, knowing that out of everyone he could trust Robin with his daughter. 
“Great, then we’ll come back, we’ll all go out to eat- hopefully you have a change of outfit- then we’ll catch up, yeah?” 
“Sounds like a plan,” Steve replied with a nod. 
So, the two girls were off, Cassie holding on tightly to Robin’s hand and already talking her ear off (though Robin could give her a run for her money for sure) as they exited Scoops Ahoy together and entered the crowd of Starcourt Mall in search of a Christmas gift for Cassie. 
✧ ✧ ✧
Cassie had dragged Robin to a lot of stores in the span of an hour and half, so much that Robin’s feet were already killing her, but she held on for Cassie as she seemed very particular on what she wanted…except the little girl wasn’t really saying what it was exactly. 
“You clearly want something specific, Tiny, so come on- spit it out,” Robin told Cassie after the fifth store they came out with nothing. She didn’t want to rush her, actually loving spending this time with Cassie as it had been since the beginning of the year she had enough time to make the trip down here from New York. 
It was unusual for Cassie to not say what was on her mind, so whatever it was…Robin was insanely curious. 
“Is it something your dad won’t approve of?” Robin gasped when Cassie didn’t reply right away, “Oh- well now you gotta tell me.What is it?”
Cassie looked up at Robin with wide eyes as she said, “I want… roller skates , but I can’t skate and I’m scared that Santa knows that so he won’t get me them, but I really want them.” 
Robin did not expect that. Not at all. She stared at the little girl blankly, and for some reason the only use of roller skates she could think of was one of those outdoor hamburger places where the service workers wear skates. Do they do that still? Robin shook her head at her thought. 
“So you didn’t ask Santa for them because you thought he probably wouldn’t give you them because you can’t skate?” Robin asked for further clarification. Cassie nodded, looking actually sad about it. Robin hummed in thought, looking around Starcourt, trying to remember a store here that sold roller skates for kids before she settled her eyes on Cassie, “Well thank god I’m not Santa. Let’s go find you some, Tiny.” 
Cassie was actually the one to drag Robin to the store, very clearly having had her eye on some already. She was the one dragging Robin now, up until they got to this sport’s store Robin doesn’t remember ever being here. Cassie led her toward the roller skates, saying hello to the worker who greeted them when they walked in, and then she stopped in front of a mini display. 
They were purple skates with yellow flower designs on them and the wheels were a darker shade of purple. Very clearly they were training skates for kids like Cassie who want to learn. And, Robin noticed, they were also on sale , which is very, very common around the holidays and good for Robin. 
“Oh wow these are cute,” Robin complimented them and Cassie nodded excitedly.
“I saw them when my daddy brought us here to buy more shoes!” Cassie told Robin, “I really, really want them.” She pressed her hands against the display, and just then the same worker who had greeted them was approaching them. 
“Is there anything I can help you with?” they had asked Robin. She looked at them, then pointed to the skates, telling Cassie to give them her shoe size. The worker nodded, saying they’d be right back and for Cassie to take a seat. 
She did as told, hopping onto one of the chairs and Robin leaned on one leg, wondering where Cassie might’ve found a sudden interest in roller skating. It can’t have been Steve, both him and her were horrible at ice skating that one year when Cassie was only 4 they decided to go to the ice rink set up in Hawkins Downtown for the winter. And he seemed way too busy to have suddenly learned how to skate properly…
“So…roller skates huh? Why the sudden interest? Your dad’s not skating again right? Because he’s horrible at it,” Robin said just as the worker returned with the proper sized skates. Robin shooed them away, deciding that she would help Cassie get them on herself. She knelt down in front of the girl as Cassie kicked her snow boots off, revealing candy cane themed socks. 
Cassie laughed at Robin’s jab at her dad before she said, “No, it’s his friend.” 
As Robin got the first skate on she shot Cassie a questionable look, “Friend? Your dad’s only friend is me .” 
Cassie nodded though, and then she said a name, your name, that Robin has never heard before in her life, at least out of Steve’s mouth. 
“She’s very nice! And I know that if I have these then she’ll teach me how to skate, she told me she used to skate all the time when she was little,” Cassie started to boast, a wide smile growing on her lips, eagerly talking about you . 
All Robin could do though was stare at Cassie with a bewildered look as she thought she? A woman? Steve’s friends with a woman?  
“Woah woah woah, wait- she’s your dad’s friend ?” 
Cassie hummed, “Mmhm, I really like her…and my daddy does too… a lot .”
She supposed that Steve was hiding a lot more from her than she thought, starting with him working at Scoops Ahoy again, and a mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes, in his daughter’s own words, a lot . Robin helped her get the other skate on, navigating in her mind this new information but deciding that she should get as much information as possible from Cassie before she definitely confronts Steve about it later. 
“A mysterious lady your dad likes… interesting …tell me more about her, my tiny friend. What is she like? How do you know your dad likes her a lot? What have you seen ?” 
Cassie stared at her, hanging onto every question before she looked away in thought, even placing her hand into her chin before she started to first tell Robin how nice you were, how she would give you carrots for lunch because she didn’t want them, she told her how you went apple picking with them and how you got Steve to actually bake (which shocked Robin very much), and how you even taught her to bake as well. 
She boasted on and on about you, before ending it on spending Thanksgiving together (something that made Robin’s jaw promptly drop in complete surprise), and telling her about your gift, gesturing to the walkman headphones that rested on her neck.
“Holy shit,” Robin said, pleasantly surprised by all this information, and kind of miffed that Steve hadn’t told her anything. She couldn’t even find it in herself to censor herself as her thoughts ran rampant. 
She knew Steve, before Cassie, before Cassie’s mom , and she knew him after as well…the possibility of him letting anyone in his life like this, so far as inviting them to a family dinner, seemed quite impossible…and well…at least she knew exactly what the main topic of discussion was going to be after Cassie goes to bed tonight…
Robin turned her attention back onto the skates Cassie was currently wearing, setting aside her intentions with Steve for now, and she stood up, and held her hands out. Cassie took them, and Robin could feel them shaking underneath his grasp. 
In fact, her legs were shaking too, like a newborn deer or something and it even made Robin nervous because she did not have good balance. She wondered if Cassie could ever want to learn how to skate…how you , and every other roller skater did it too. 
“I don’t know about this Cassie…” Robin admitted to her, but Cassie clenched her jaw and shook her head. 
“No…no I want them,” she stated, forcing herself to become more confident, “She will teach me if I have them…and then I’ll get good at it and maybe I can teach my daddy too how to skate.” 
The thought made Robin laugh, and she stepped backwards, Cassie rolling along with her, and almost falling forward and falling on her face had Robin not been holding her, “Gee…these are definitely not Steve of Approved…but honestly…looks like I have competition here with gift-giving…”
Robin’s eyes moved to the walk-man, before she rolled Cassie back to sit down and said, “Okay, I’ll get them for you…but I’m getting you literally every protection gear this place has to offer so your dad doesn’t have a heart attack.” 
Cassie almost cried with happiness, already kicking them off so they could gather the rest of her gift around the store. 
Afterwards, Robin decided to treat Cassie to a movie, buying her whatever snack she wanted and the largest popcorn as well. She enjoyed every second of it, giddy already because of the skates that were packed away into a shopping bag. 
Then, they returned to Scoops Ahoy just in time for Steve’s shift to come to an end. He had changed his outfit completely, wearing a striped sweater underneath the jacket he was currently zipping up and a pair of jeans. The outfit change made total sense considering the current snowy climate outside. 
Cassie was calling him, running into the ice cream parlor and he was quick to catch her and lift her up into his arms with a wide loving smile on his face. Robin strolled up a few seconds after, and Cassie hopped out of her dad’s arms and started to tell him that her Aunt Robin got her a gift. 
Steve stared at the large bag, and Robin smirked as she set it down on one of the empty tables as Steve said cautiously, “Uh…what did she get you?...What did you get her?” Steve was looking at Robin now almost suspiciously and Cassie climbed onto a chair. 
“Roller skates! She got me roller skates!” 
Steve’s brown eyes widened at Cassie’s answer, and Robin pulled out the box to show him the skates properly. 
“Robin- are you- are you serious?” Steve asked, being sure to not sound or look mad in front of Cassie, especially with how excited she seemed to be about this, but he was just concerned with how safe these things would be, already imagining Cassie falling and crying. The idea simply hurt his chest and filled him with fatherly fear. 
“Sure am,” Robin said, slapping the side of the roller skates like a brand new car, “Don’t worry, Popeye, I bought her the latest of protection gear, if she falls the ground would be more hurt than her.” 
Steve crossed his arms, still baffled by the gift. 
“Besides, I need to make sure I remain Cassie’s favorite aunt by coming to town once in a while and getting her whatever she wants,” Robin added, smiling at Cassie who was still beaming about the skates. 
Steve shook his head, amused by Robin’s statement and then he said, “I’m still not…I don’t know, I didn’t even know you wanted roller skates Cass.”
Cassie seemed to finally sense her dad’s hesitation, and she quickly turned to him and claimed that she would be careful, and that you could teach her. 
At the mention of your name, Steve felt the air in his chest release softly and his cheeks had grown quite warm, wondering how it didn’t occur to him that you were the reason for her newfound interest in this. It almost made him smile widely, but he settled on a small one that was barely visible. 
It was visible enough for Robin though who had made sure to look at Steve when Cassie mentioned you. She saw his flushed cheeks, his sudden hesitation all but vanishing in mere seconds. And then Steve settled his eyes back on the skates then at Cassie before he started to nod. 
“Alright, yeah, that’s true…she’s gonna love that you got a pair,” Steve said, voice filled with the warmth that matched his cheeks and now his chest. Cassie cheered, then Robin cheered too with Cassie, making Steve’s smile grow and uncross his arms. 
The three had gone out to eat at a diner after they left Starcourt, Cassie ordering belgian waffles for dinner, Robin’s treat again, before they were settling into the Harrington household. It was just a small house, two bedrooms, but the living room was pretty big for a small home. A Christmas tree was set up by the window in the front, lit up with vibrant colors and decorated with ornaments Cassie had made at school. Gifts were already set under the tree, wrapped pretty decently. 
Robin was lounging out the couch, having kicked off her shoes and she was watching Cassie roll around the living room, her head covered by a large purple helmet that matched the color of her skates and pads wrapped around her knees and elbows. 
She was laser focused, holding onto the wall for dear life and looking down with a determined look in her eyes as she rolled forward little by little. Steve was in the kitchen, and Robin could already smell the sweet scent of hot chocolate. 
With the heater kicked on, and the night still young, Steve came out holding two mugs, one for him and one for Robin, Cassie had declined any because she wanted to focus on skating during the hour before she would go to bed. 
So, while Cassie did that (trying not to crash into the tree for example), Steve and Robin decided to catch up. Robin told him about her job, and the new apartment she moved into with Vickie, she told him how Nancy and Jonathan were doing, and some fun anecdotes she knew Steve would get a good laugh at. 
Steve told her a few things, starting with the obvious that he was working at Scoops Ahoy again which made Robin tease him about it again. 
“Hey, like I said, I needed a third job, and he agreed to give me a set schedule, weekends only,” Steve told Robin as he leaned back on the couch. 
“No, no I totally get it, I just think it’s funny that you willingly put that uniform on again, you hated it more than I did,” Robin said, bending her leg against her chest and resting her chin on her knee as she laughed. 
“Yeah, but that was when I was fresh out of high school and still cared about my self-image, as a daddy now that wasn’t even a factor,” Steve said, smirking when Robin grimaced at him calling himself daddy . It was fine coming out of Cassie’s mouth, because Steve was her actual dad, but Steve calling himself that? It made her want to gag and Steve knew that. It’s why he said it in the first place. 
“If you’re not Cassie, I don’t want to hear you call yourself daddy,” Robin said, and Steve laughed in response. 
“Speaking of Cassie,” Steve started, turning his head to find her sitting on the floor defeated. He got up, concern crossing over his features for a second as Cassie looked up at him with a frown. She hadn’t fallen, no, they would’ve heard her crash and hit the ground. She was just upset that she wasn’t a master skater already. 
Amusement replaced that concern, and he held his hand out of her take and told her, “Call it a night, yeah? And don’t be so sad, Cass, it’s going to take more than one night of practice.” 
She sighed, and took her dad’s hand and he pulled her back up to her feet, rolling forward and he poked her sides slightly. Cassie giggled, finally smiling before he told her to get ready for bed. She complied, and Steve gave her a gentle push, letting her roll her way down the hall and toward her room. 
Robin got up, stretching her arms out before she decided to help out by taking the now empty mugs to the sink while Steve went with Cassie to help her take the skates and all the gear off. After a few minutes, Cassie came back out to thank Robin for the skates and to give her a big hug before she returned to her room for the night. 
Robin was walking around the living room, eying the various portraits that she hadn’t seen since she was last here. There were a few new ones, like Cassie in a tinkerbell costume in front of Mrs. K’s house next door. Her eyes shifted to the older ones, resting on Cassie when she was just a toddler before moving on to one of Steve and Cassie when she was only just born. 
He was sitting on a lazy-boy, one that used to be in Steve’s old house when he still lived with his parents. Steve was grinning widely, hair greasy and a mess, and he was holding Cassie who was bundled up in a mint green blanket against his chest. He was only 19 at the time, almost 20, and practically still fresh out of high school. Robin remembered when Steve had come to her and told her the news that he was going to be a dad. He was freaking out, and Robin could admit she didn’t help him calm down in the slightest. 
They both had just rambled, Robin shocked by him going to become a parent so young, and what he was going to do and then ranting off ways everything could go wrong and almost making Steve go into cardiac arrest at 19. It was Nancy who promptly calmed Steve down (and thus Robin too).
“Alright, I’m back- what are you doing?” Steve’s voice came from behind Robin, and she turned away from the picture and started to laugh. 
“I was looking at that photo of you and Cass, remember when you told me you were going to be a dad and I kind of sort of freaked out like I was the one about to be a dad or something-” 
Steve scoffed loudly, “ Yeah , you freaked me the hell out, Robin. I was ready to speed off to New York under a new name with all that shit you were saying! Thank god Nance showed up and talked me down.” 
Robin was laughing again, finding it funny now when it wasn’t funny at the time, and Steve started to laugh too as he fell back onto the couch and yawned loudly. Robin frowned, and joined him back on the couch.
“Oh damn, you’re not tired already, right? We have so much more to talk about, ” she said, knowing that she desperately needed to know more about this mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes so much, who got him to bake and joined him on Thanksgiving.
“I’m a daddy, I’m always tired,” Steve told Robin truthfully, to which she gave him a look for calling himself daddy again. He laughed and added, “I don’t really have much else to say-” 
“Oh that’s alright, I have something you can tell me about,” Robin said, cutting him off, “So during our little outing, Tiny Harrington told me something pretty interesting about this very pretty school office worker you seem to really like, care to share anything with the class?” 
Steve snapped his head toward her and he cleared his throat and turned his head back forward and said your name like it was a question. Robin nodded, “Yup, that’s it and you both keep mentioning her…so who is she? Tell me more about her.” 
Robin was now leaning in, needing to know more about this especially from Steve, the guy who hadn’t really been with anyone since Cassie’s mom, well there was one other woman, but she could hardly recall her face or even her name because of how quickly that flame went out. 
Steve pushed his hair out of his face and replied, “She’s just a friend.” 
Now it was Robin’s turn to scoff loudly and she said, “Oh really…do you normally invite friends to have Thanksgiving with your family and the Hendersons? Or to go apple-picking with you?” 
Steve nodded, “Yeah, yeah you can normally invite a friend to things like that.” 
He was very clearly deflecting, and Robin wasn’t buying it, not even when he added, “She’s super nice, really cool…moved here in the summer actually and you know, she doesn’t really have anybody or any family really nearby so I just…you know invited her to join me and Cassie…” 
Robin sighed, slightly disappointed by this and she started to say, “Steve…Steve, Steve, Steve, I know you…you don’t just let people in your life, in Cassie’s life, especially since her mom just up and left. I mean, there was what’s-her-face who you didn’t let her into your life at all which was why the relationship went up in flames in the first place… and now all of a sudden Cassie is telling me about this woman you very clearly like going places with you both and gifting her things…what aren’t you telling me?” 
He tensed up at Robin’s words, seeming to have forgotten that Robin was there for the majority of his life, even though she had promptly brought it up just minutes ago with that memory of him telling her the news. Robin did know Steve, probably more than anybody else in his life. She was there when Cassie’s mom was there, and there when she wasn’t , the aftermath of it all…Steve hated to think about that. He hated it, so he didn’t think about it.
He turned to Robin, who looked more serious now, wanting to know more about you, and wanting Steve to tell her. So he decided he should. 
“We really are just friends,” Steve started with, wanting to make that clear, “I mean…she’s something else , you know? Like…the more I get to know her, the more…amazing I realize she is.” 
He laughed nervously, pink dusting over his cheeks as his thoughts became consumed with you and the feelings you brought out of him.
“And Cassie absolutely loves her, I mean, she literally asked for skates because of her, and she seems to really like hanging out with me and Cassie too,” he continued, thinking of the smile you always put on his and Cassie’s face whenever you’re together, and he finished saying in a breathless voice like the mere thought of you took his breath away, “ Yeah … I really like her. ”
His heart was fluttering in his chest from having finally admitted that outloud to somebody. It became more real then, the feelings that would gather in his entire being whenever you were around, whenever you were even mentioned.
“Knew it,” Robin said, satisfied to get a confession from Steve, “So why are you still just friends then? Is she not interested or something?” 
Steve pressed his lips tightly together and shrugged, “I wouldn’t know, I never asked and…well, I don’t think she’s not interested, I mean… there is something there, like something electric…being with someone finally sounds good, but then-” 
Steve furrowed his brow, as he’s given many thoughts about this whenever it would come up, which was often especially following Thanksgiving when he was tempted to kiss you (and was positive you were going to kiss him too). It was all the same things that stirred inside of him, things that were almost unresolved from the impact Cassie’s mom left on him…he shut his eyes for a moment, the conflict swirling around in him and almost making his stomach hurt along with his head.
Robin was sitting cross-legged, hanging off of Steve’s last word, wanting to know what he was going to say next. 
He sucked in a tight breath then released it before saying, “I just…I don’t have time , you know? If there’s anything I learned from being with Brenda ,” Steve said, reminding Robin of the other woman’s name. Robin snapped her fingers and said quietly ‘ oh yeah Brenda .’
“From being with her, time is just not on my side with my jobs, especially now since I got a third one- I just can never be there for somebody else, I can’t commit to them in the way they want me to,” Steve tried to explain, “And…and I can’t do that to her, I can’t break her heart like that so…yeah she’s my friend, and it’s going to stay that way.” 
Robin frowned at Steve, slightly disappointed that it was still this that was holding him back, keeping him from pursuing any romantic relationship even when he seemed to want one. Hell, even watching him say that he and you were just going to stay friends he looked downright depressed and disappointed. 
She could only sigh, feeling kind of sad for Steve, and his luck with romance after Cassie’s mom, but she always thought that maybe he just hadn’t found the right person, and she still stands by that to this day. Somebody will come around, and for all she knows this right person for Steve could be you …and she feels like she’d know for sure if she met you and got to know you too.
“By the way you’re talking about this girl…I’d really like to meet her,” she said, making Steve look at her again and with squinted eyes he replied, “Absolutely not.”
Robin threw her hand over her chest, heavily offended by his immediate response and she said, “Why not! If she’s so amazing, I’d like to see it for myself. I’m not going to do anything that’ll embarrass you, scout’s honor.” 
“ Nope . No way.”
Robin rolled her eyes, wondering what on Earth she could do that’ll embarrass him more than he tends to embarrass himself, but something told her it was that if you met Robin , his best friend, then that would just let you into his life more…and honestly, maybe he needed that more than he believed he didn’t…
✧ ✧ ✧
It was cold. 
You were wearing more layers today than any other day since the snowy weather arrived. Your entire head was hidden underneath a gray beanie, and the bottom of your face covered by a baby blue knitted scarf you bought off of one of the student’s moms who sold them. 
Even in the confines of the coffee shop, you felt incredibly cold, and were concerned about a cough coming along, your throat a little drier than usual. It was just what you needed, considering the Holidays were just around the corner and you were going to spend it with Heidi’s family. You weren’t sure then, if you were getting sick, that you could go, which was quite disappointing. 
Your name was suddenly called, and you could already taste your favorite hot coffee, and were ready for it to warm your insides. Right after your name was called though, another name was called. You didn’t pay much attention, determined to get your coffee, that you hadn’t realized they had set the identical cups right next to each other. You just grabbed one, and turned away. 
“Oh, wait!” someone called before you could take a sip, and you turned your head to meet the blue eyes of a girl with short blonde hair and freckles decorating her cheeks, “That one is mine! My name’s on it…” 
You blinked and looked down, twisting the cup in your hand to see the name Robin scribbled on the side of it and not your name. You quickly apologized, feeling a little silly for not checking first and held it out for her to take.
“It’s alright, the cups look the exact same,” the girl, Robin, replied to you as she held your coffee out for you to take. She seemed like she was going to say something further, but stopped when her eyes glossed over your name written on the cup as you took it from her, “Oh… Oh …” 
She looked at you, blue eyes observing you closely and then your name before you properly switched. 
You turned away without another word, ready to return to finally take a sip and return to your car when the girl called your name this time. You stopped, thinking maybe you left something but only saw her standing there with her own drink and sheepish smile on her lips. 
“Sorry, I know I probably look like a complete weirdo , and even more so when I say this but…I think I know you, and that you probably know me too? At least by name?” she was saying, and you could only stare at her, trying to see if you could remember exactly who she was and if you’d seen her around here before or heard her name. 
You shook your head when nothing came up and replied, “I’m sorry, I don’t…I can’t really remember.” You laughed awkwardly and she did too. 
“I just thought maybe Steve would’ve mentioned me,” she said, his namedrop making you tilt your head curiously, “I mean he’s mentioned you quite a bit since I came back to town…just wondering if he’s ever mentioned his friend Robin to you.” 
She blinked rapidly at you, then smiled more widely at you. It took you a moment or two before your memory returned. Steve had mentioned her before, you remembered a specific time when you were looking for another movie to watch and he brought to the double VHS section and said something along the lines of “Yeah my best friend Robin made me sit through so many movies, I don’t normally do double VHS, but this one was really good.” And there were others too you would gradually remember.
“Oh yeah! He has! Uh, hi, this is so weird, not that you’re weird, I swear, just-” you laughed nervously, “It’s nice to meet you.” 
“Likewise,” Robin replied, stepping out of the way of other coffee patrons, “So, I hear you and Steve are pretty good friends too.” 
You nodded quite fast at that, then got a little embarrassed that you did so, especially when she raised both eyebrows at you. 
“Yeah I’d say we are,” you said, “Not as good as you two are I bet, I think he mentioned one time you’ve been friends since he graduated High School.” 
“Yeah, we worked at Scoops Ahoy together,” Robin said, and you stared blankly at her, not knowing what a Scoops Ahoy was. And you swore you’ve been to every place in Hawkins thus far, but not wanting to sound stupid by asking you just stayed quiet as Robin continued to say, “Anyway though, I’m sure you got places to be, I got places to be because you know, my mom is just dying to see me.” 
You couldn’t tell if that was sarcasm or not, but she bid you a good-bye before pausing and turning back to you to say, “Hey, wait, around like I don’t know 6, me, Steve and Cassie are going to that pizza place downtown…you should come.” 
“Oh,” you paused suddenly, then said, “I don’t want to intrude on a reunion.” 
Robin laughed at that, “You’re not going to intrude anything, you’re Steve’s friend, I’m his friend, it’ll be just a bunch of friends meeting for some pizza for dinner. I’m sure he’ll love to see you seeing as he talked about you so much.” 
You felt your cheeks heat up at that, then became too preoccupied with the heart in your chest leaping to see Steve again, something that’s become entirely common these days. You subconsciously counted down the days until you would see him again, though you’d never admit anything out loud. Also, she’s mentioned twice that he keeps talking about you…
Robin was staring at you expectantly, and you met her eyes before nodding and saying, “Yeah, okay that sounds like it could be fun.” 
“Yes! Alright, cool,” Robin said, a little too excitedly as she gave you a thumbs up with the hand that wasn’t holding her coffee, “Now, I’m going to go see my mom, and I’ll see you later, you know the one right?” 
You nodded, as there was only one pizza place in Hawkins, and waved a good-bye to Robin as she left the coffee shop before you. You dropped your hand to the side, then remembered that you were cold and that was the reason you bought a coffee. You lifted it to your lips, and drank the hot liquid, but it didn’t do much, as the thought of Steve had already made you warm enough.
✧ ✧ ✧
It was half after six, and Steve, Cassie, and Robin were barely being seated. Robin hadn’t anticipated the place to be so full, even though Steve told her it would be. It wasn’t a long wait, and Steve wasn’t impatient and neither was Robin, Cassie could be impatient, but as long as she had her walkman while they sat in the waiting area she was fine. 
Steve had noticed that Robin kept looking at the door every time it opened, eyes looking over every member of the family that was entering the pizza parlor. He had asked her if she was waiting for someone or something, thinking maybe she ran into the kids (they’re not kids anymore, Steve kept having to remind himself) who were home for winter break without telling him. Not that he would mind, but who the hell was going to pay for them to eat?
Eventually, Robin’s name was called by the hostess and they were led through the full pizza parlor and sat at a comfortable round booth that was actually elevated and underneath a dimly lit light. Cassie hopped in first, crawling on all fours until she was sitting right in the center of the table with a grin on her face and head banging as she was still listening to music. 
“This is a pretty big booth for just three people,” Steve said, eying Robin as he tried to see if she’d take the bait and just tell him who she invited to join them.
“Oh yeah, totally too big for three people,” Robin said, agreeing with him as she shot him a grin and sat down. 
“Right…” 
Steve sat down as well, thanking the hostess for the menus. He turned his attention to Cassie now, and tapped her nose to capture her attention. She looked at him and he gestured to his own ears. Cassie understood, and turned to turn off her walkman, then removed her headphones. They rested around her neck, a look Cassie Harrington had all the time, especially these days. 
“Welcome back,” Steve teased her as he handed her a menu. Cassie took it from her dad, giving him a toothy grin as her head was still nodding to nonexistent music. Steve chuckled and passed a menu to Robin, and then looked down, seeing he was holding two more. 
Robin definitely invited somebody else. 
At that moment, Steve looked up at the door, as Robin and Cassie became engrossed in their menus and were verbally deciding what toppings they wanted on each pizza they were about to order. 
He was looking for perhaps a kid, like Dustin, or Lucas as Robin mentioned running into him specifically, hell he even looked for Eddie Munson (Steve had seen him show up in the Family Video Store after he seemed to have vanished for weeks), but his eyes landed on you . 
You weren’t looking at him, your attention on the hostess as you spoke to her. The hostess had looked down at her clipboard, then nodded, telling you something with a smile before she turned around and started to walk in the direction of the table they sat at. Just as you lifted your eyes, Steve turned to look at Robin, all of it adding up at once.
“You didn’t- how- how did you even meet her? ” Steve was questioning her. Robin looked up from her menu, confused at first and then she grinned sheepishly. Before she could even answer, you were at the table. 
Cassie had gasped at the sight of you, and called your name excitedly while Robin grinned and looked at you. 
“You made it! I was afraid you wouldn’t!” Robin said, “Steve scoot over, jeesh, you too Tiny.” 
“No! Wait! I want to sit next to her!” Cassie announced, of which Robin seemed very intrigued by and Cassie said, “Daddy, you sit on the side!” 
Steve stared at Cassie for such a demand, but who was he to deny his daughter’s requests? He looked at you, finally, and you were looking at Cassie with a sweet smile on your lips before you turned to look at Steve. He sucked in a soft breath before nodding and scooting off of the seat. 
“Wait, do you want…” Steve gestured to your outerwear when he stood and you blinked before realizing what he meant. 
“Yeah! God I hate wearing all these layers,” you said with a shake of your head as you unzipped your large jacket. You were shaking out of it and Steve was suddenly behind you, reaching out to take your jacket off for you like the gentleman he is. You thanked him softly as he did, and he flashed you a sweet grin before you were moving to sit in the booth. 
“I didn’t know Robin invited you!” Cassie said when you settled in next to her. 
“She invited me this morning,” you told her, looking over at her then at Steve as he settled down right next to you. Steve slid a menu to you as well and you took it, another soft thank you being thrown his way. 
“Yeah, I ran into her at the coffee place, insane right? I mean I heard her name, because obviously Steve told me all about you,” Robin said, gesturing to Steve who snapped his head to look at her, “Cassie too , don’t look at me like that. Anyway, she took my coffee by accident and then we talked and now she’s here.” 
Steve shook his head.
“Yeah, that’s what happened,” you said, your cheeks a little warm as you were still a bit afraid that you were unwelcomed despite Steve literally getting up and helping you get your jacket off, “It’s not a problem for anyone here, right?” 
Steve turned to look at you, and quickly shook his head, “Oh no , never. You know I like seeing you.” He suddenly realized what he’d just said and cleared his throat before turning away to cough into his hand in an attempt to take the attention off that . 
You just sat there, pressing your lips softly together at his words, before you looked back at Robin and said, “Sorry for being late though, my car has been acting up especially with this weather.” 
You frowned at the thought of your car barely starting this morning, and then when you were on your way here. It started eventually, yes , but felt pretty much dead before that. Robin told you it was fine, as they were barely sat anyway.
“Wait what’s going on with your car?” Steve questioned, becoming concerned at this information. You shrugged. 
“It’s…wonky, I don’t know,” you said lamely, “It takes a few tries to start, then when it’s on it feels like it’s on the edge of breaking down.” 
Steve was shaking his head at the idea of that, and said, “You know I can take a look at it after dinner if you want me to. I’ve gotten pretty good with cars these past few years.” 
Robin hummed, “Yeah, it’s really weird…like the moment he became a dad he gained all the traits of one like barbecuing and…falling asleep early on the couch or something.” 
That comment made you genuinely laugh, and Steve got a bit lost in your laugh even though it wasn’t him who made you laugh, but he quickly shook out of it and laughed sarcastically at Robin before returning his attention to you. 
“I’m serious though, I can look at it…also I fell asleep on the couch one time,” he said the last part to Robin who reminded him that it happened in the middle of their conversation the night prior before looking back down at the menu. You laughed again, then rested your hand on his shoulder, and replied, “I’d really appreciate that, Steve. Thanks.”
You both just gazed at each other for a long moment, before Cassie was tapping your arm, taking your attention off of him. Steve smiled to himself, then turned to look at his menu. 
“Guess what Robin got me for Christmas,” Cassie started with eagerly. You hummed in thought. 
“Beats me, Cass,” you said after a moment, and she smiled widely before announcing the skates. You dropped your jaw, “No way! You want to learn to skate then?”
Cassie nodded, “Yes! Can you teach me?”
You were more than obliged to teach her, which made Cassie even more happy. 
Steve looked up from his menu, staring at you while Cassie eagerly told you all about her skates, and he licked his lips gently, and Robin stifled a laugh. He looked at her now, giving her a pointed look, pretending that he was irritated with her when he wasn’t. If he was being honest, he liked this, he liked you being here sitting between him and Cassie, with his best friend sitting across from him. It was nice…comfortable even.
It’s like you just fit . 
And the heat spreading over him at this thought made his chest sting, happy because he liked you so much , but indifferent because he did . It made no sense, no sense at all, but this was no time to dwell on it, especially with you right next to him, your legs slightly touching and your pretty perfume invading his senses. 
Thankfully, the waiter arrived, taking an order of drinks, and your pizza. You all decided on two large pizzas, and when you ordered some strawberry lemonade, Cassie did the same, something that did not go unnoticed by Steve. She never drank lemonade, in fact every time they came here she got apple juice, and what he saw was Cassie bright eyes gazing at you. It made that feeling in Steve even more vibrant, that Cassie seemed to look up to you so much that she got skates because of you, listened to disco, and now ordered the same drink. 
It really hit Steve, at this moment, how much Cassie really liked you. She of course liked everyone else too, as she took a specific liking to Robin who was there in her infant and toddler days, and then took a liking to Dustin and especially Max. She had never actually tried to mimic them though, Max never inspired her to want to learn how to ride a skateboard and the interest in Dungeons and Dragons was all part of Dustin’s elaborate plan to get her to keep a high school club alive. 
You weren’t doing any of that, just simply existing and being such a good friend , that damned word again, that became a constant in his and Cassie’s life and she seemed to want to be just like you. 
Steve was a bit baffled at this, shocked into silence really as you and Robin were talking now. 
“Oh yeah, we went to high school together, right Steve? But we didn’t become friends until that one summer we were forced to work together at Scoops Ahoy,” Robin was saying, finally capturing Steve’s attention, “It was a summer for sure, your dad wasn’t the catch he is today.” 
Robin was talking to Cassie now, who looked over at her dad and asked, “Catch?”
“Oh, no girls liked him,” Robin said nonchalantly, which made Cassie frown.
“But he gets free ice cream?” 
“Right? Seems foolproof huh?” 
“Wait- are you seriously bringing that up? Come on Robin, you know it was a tough summer for me,” Steve said, grabbing his drink and sipping out of the straw. 
“Because now it’s a funny memory,” Robin replied with a shrug, and turned back to look at you, “Have you seen him yet? At Scoops Ahoy?” 
You cringed slightly, knowing it was time to fuss up that you had no idea what a ‘Scoops Ahoy’ was, and told her so. The table went quiet, as if Scoops Ahoy was a home name of Hawkins or something when really it was just between the three people at the table with you. 
“You’ve never been there?” Steve was asking you, making you look at him and shake your head, “So you’ve never visited Starcourt then?” 
You shook your head again, “I’ve been wanting to, but…I don’t know if my car will make it that far…”
Steve just stared at you, then nodded as if he was impressed that you’ve never visited the highly popular mall and Cassie was the one to tell you that it was an ice cream shop. She told you about all the free ice cream she gets sometimes.
“ Free ice cream? That sounds like a dream,” you told Cassie and she giggled and said that it wasn’t. Her dad could get free ice cream whenever he wanted essentially.
“Well I mean, I can get you free ice cream too if you want,” Steve said, turning to you, and Robin almost rolled her eyes because it was painfully obvious that Steve really liked you, and it was such a burden to know he did, but wasn’t going to actually do anything about it. 
“Oh really?” you questioned, resting your chin on your hand as you met his brown eyes.
“ Yeah , I think I’m pretty much a professional like I’ve mastered the USS Butterscotch ,” Steve said, making you furrow your brows in confusion at such a name, but assuming rightfully it was just some kind of sunday they served. 
Robin asked how you and Steve met, and he relayed to her how you were dying from allergies and did a late run to the market to get medication, and he just so happened to working that night, then you said you ran into him again at the video store, a job, Robin relayed to you that he’s been at that job for a while. It was Cassie who talked about the carrot situation in more detail, which made Robin laugh because it is something Cassie Harrington would do. 
She watched as you, Steve, and Cassie spoke, laughing together, and she had noticed herself how much Cassie had taken a liking to you as well. It was Steve mostly, though, she couldn’t recall the last time he was so interested in a woman like this. That other girl he was almost with didn’t even compare to how he was with you, and maybe…he was like that once with Cassie’s mom, very early in her pregnancy. 
He had been at her side almost twenty-four seven. Robin had liked her, as there wasn’t necessarily anything wrong with her, just that it was painfully obvious that she didn’t feel the same way toward Steve. Steve had known that, since he had told Robin this when she brought it up one night during a late shift at the Family Video Store. 
He was aware, yes, but they were going to have a baby together, he couldn’t help how he felt, how he always felt about her really as they were friends. But honestly, he had told her, he just wanted their child to have both parents, it didn’t matter to him whether he and she were together, as long as Cassie had her mom and had her dad who at the very least liked each other. Of course, they all know how that story came to an end…
It was something that clearly continued to plague her best friend’s mind, if their conversation from the night before meant anything. Steve liked you, he admitted that to Robin, which is a major step for the guy, and seeing you, seeing how you fell into place with him, with Cassie, something felt different, yet all the same. He wasn’t putting on some kind of show, because Robin knew if she invited the other girl he was with for a bit, he would’ve been actually irritated with her, he would’ve sat through it and been polite, but he wouldn’t have been happy. He seemed like…himself again…comfortable, and she liked seeing Steve like this again. She really did. 
And now, she felt like she owed it to him to knock some sense into him, like how he helped her out with Vickie all those years ago, who still remained her beloved and favorite person ever to this day. He would be crazy to at least not try , because he liked you, and sitting here, she can tell that you liked him too. 
The pizza had come, and the conversation turned to Steve and Robin now, and you sat there listening with amusement written on your features of the summer they became friends, about working at Scoops Ahoy, then at the Family Video Store, how he threw her a graduation party at his house that almost failed because someone forgot to bring cups (It was that guy Eddie again) until a girl by the name of Nancy Wheeler got fed up and left to get some. Steve even made her a cake apparently, or at least attempted to. It was something, Robin had said about that cake, surely something.
“You said you’ve never baked before,” you said to Steve upon hearing this information and he turned to you with a sheepish grin on his lips. 
“It’s one of the major reasons I don’t bake anymore,” Steve replied, making you laugh and say, “You bake now though.” 
“Thanks to you, I actually like it now, honestly…you know I still get compliments on those cookies…” Steve said, leaning back and subconsciously stretching and resting his arms on the rest right behind you.
Your heart sped up at this gesture, and you shifted in your spot. Steve stayed staring at you, a small grin on his lips that hadn’t left since all of you started talking. You settled back into place, with his arm technically wrapped around you and turned away, cheeks hot and your heart feeling like it was blooming. 
The check had come around, and Steve had reached into his pocket, and cursed softly.
“Damn…I think I left my wallet in the car,” he said with a cringe before he started to stand, “I’ll be right back.” 
“Wait!” Cassie called in between you and Robin, and Steve paused to look at his daughter, “Can I go?”
“Come on then,” Steve said, fully standing. You were about to move, but Cassie was diving underneath the table and crawling out from the other side. Steve just stared at her before he laughed and told her to put her jacket on. She did, and then he held his hand out for her to take. When their hands clasped together, they were walking toward the exit of the pizza parlor, leaving you and Robin. 
You had felt slightly bad, as you didn’t get to learn much about Robin herself. So, given it was just the two of you, you asked her about herself and Robin let out a breath. 
“I hate this question…” Robin said, fiddling with her rings as she laughed awkwardly. Before you could apologize, she shook her head and told you that she lived in New York with her girlfriend, Vickie, that she moved there with her when Cassie was around four years old, so around two years ago. She attends classes at a college there, and works at this department store. 
“Oh, so it’s like the reverse,” you suddenly stated, “I lived in the big city, moved to this small town- you lived in this small town and moved to the big city.” 
This made Robin laugh, “Hey, yeah, that’s true . It’s pretty insane, overstimulating, a lot of smog, too many people…I don’t hate it though.” 
You nodded, your childhood and adolescent days coming back to you at once, and you replied, “Yeah, a lot of people, but…I think that’s part of its charm.” 
“Oh for sure,” Robin replied, turning her head to see if Steve was coming back. He wasn’t and she commented, “I swear if he dined and dashed…” 
“Oh…oh he wouldn’t do that…would he?” 
“Nah,” Robin shook her head, “He always pays…guess that’s one of his charms, among many, I suppose.” 
She was looking at you again, and you leaned back in your spot, eyes lingering on the door, waiting to see him come back. 
“It’s still kind of weird to me,” Robin suddenly said thoughtfully, “I mean, if high school me heard me say that Steve Harrington was cool, and I was willingly having pizza dates with him and his daughter- she would be absolutely baffled .” 
You turned to her, a curious look in your gaze and she went on to say, “I’m pretty sure every high school had the same hierarchy, so you probably know what I’m talking about. Steve had thee title…basketball captain, swim captain, other other captain, I don’t know I was in band but…he was literally called King Steve.” 
“ King Steve? ” 
You’d never heard anything like that, at your high school there was one guy, the football captain, who dated all the cheerleaders and all that. You could actually picture Steve that way, the hot, popular jock all the girls fawned over…considering the unofficial Steve Harrington fanclub here made up of Hawkin’s Moms. 
“Oh my god, he’ll hate that I’m telling you this,” she said, chuckling to herself, “It doesn’t matter anymore though, because that was just you know- a facade. But yeah, I actually didn’t like him, like a lot- he knows this- but you know, underneath it all- he’s a good guy, probably always has been.”
You turned thoughtful, thinking of Steve in such a way. It had been mentioned before, when Heidi said she dated Steve once in high school and cried over him, or when Steve had told you during what you dared called a ‘lunch date’ in his car that one autumn afternoon that he got a lot of dates at 13. He didn’t seem to be getting them now, despite the attention he receives. 
“I’m just glad you got to know him now ,” Robin said nonchalantly, “He still has those charms, obviously I know you know the ones…” 
She eyed you and you couldn’t lie and say he didn’t. Steve was pretty irresistible, and that stupid charm of his that lingered in your mind for days on end after every interaction you’ve had with him since summer still made your stomach twist and heart flip.
“Yeah…” you said, albeit a bit breathlessly that made Robin laugh to herself. 
Steve was opening the door to the parlor, snowflakes decorating his hair and his jacket. Cassie looked the same, and she shook her head like a dog and held her dad’s hand tighter, happy about the warmth the parlor was providing.
The first thing Steve saw when he walked in was you and Robin. You were in conversation, and he watched as you smiled and laughed, and nodded and responded to his best friend in that round booth. You were enjoying it, talking to Robin, and he sucked in a tight breath, head a little foggy, and he was kind of… happy that it seemed Robin liked you. 
Cassie was saying something to him, pulling him out of trance, but he hadn’t heard what she said
“Hm?” he hummed curiously, looking down at his daughter now, seeing her gazing up at him with almost concern. 
“What’s wrong?” 
Steve paused, then laughed weakly as he tightened his grip affectionately on her hand and replied, “That’s the million dollar question, Cass…come on let’s go.”
He returned to the table, overhearing Robin say something about how she witnessed the aftermath of him accidentally renting out the wrong movie to a girl. Steve didn’t ask what she was talking about because he didn’t need to be reminded of that, and he was glad that you didn’t ask, just suppressing a laugh as he approached. 
“Are we ready to go?” 
You were all outside now, Cassie giving you a big hug good-bye before she was in between Robin and Steve, holding both of their hands, her hands were covered in these bright pink knitted mittens that were vibrant against their dark gloves. 
“I’ll get your number from Steve,” Robin had told you, to which you eagerly nodded. Steve wanted to say some kind of joke, maybe why are you stealing my new friend already? But he really loved that you and her got along that well. 
“Alright, let’s get you in the car, Tiny,” Robin said, saying a final good-bye to you before taking Cassie with her. Cassie waved at you as Robin led her to the car, and it was just you and Steve now.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you soon,” you said, standing albeit a little awkward beside him and Steve, well he looked even more awkward that even Robin cringed when she glanced over at him. 
“Yeah, I’ll call you,” he said, and you nodded, flashing him a grin before turning away. Suddenly, as Steve saw your car, he called your name, “Wait, I said I’d look at your car!” 
You stopped, looking at the car, then at him, then back at the car. 
“Let me see if it’ll start first,” you told him, not wanting to stand out in this cold further or make him stand out in this cold too. Steve followed after you regardless, standing by the car door as you settled in and put the key into its ignition. 
It started the first try, by some sort of miracle. 
“Oh, oh it’s working now,” you said with the shake of your head, embarrassed that your car made it seem like you were lying just to get Steve to look at it or something. 
“I could still look at it though,” Steve told you, leaning over the open door to look inside before glancing over at the hood, as if itching to get it opened. It made you less embarrassed and you nodded, agreeing that eventually he should, or you should get it over to the mechanics. 
With that, Steve said a sweet good-bye before lightly closing your car door for you. He even remained there, watching you go. He was also making sure the car didn’t suddenly break down once it hit the street. It didn’t, thankfully, and he finally went to his car where Robin and Cassie were waiting with the heater already on.
It was quiet, for the most part, Cassie had put her headphones on again, kicking her feet to the beat and gazing out the window with a sleepy look coming over her face. She was definitely going into a food coma.
Robin had suddenly turned in her spot in the passenger seat though to look at Steve. He could see her almost perfectly in peripherals. She was grinning at him almost slyly.
“What?” he asked, acting like he didn’t know why she was smiling like that. 
“I like her,” Robin stated. 
Warmth not from the heater washed over Steve when he heard that, and he swallowed thickly and played dumb, “You like who ?” 
Robin gave him a look, and replied, “I’m serious…you’re right when you say she is pretty amazing and I’m going to say this because I’m your best friend and I can…” 
Steve came to a stop light, and turned his head to look at Robin. 
“You would be a complete idiot if you don’t at least try and take a chance with her.”
There had been a small, amused smile on Steve’s lips, a happy one at that as well, when he heard that Robin liked you so much, but hearing this, Robin’s bluntness Steve’s smile turned into a frown and something cold came over him, like the cold breeze of the upcoming blizzard outside. 
He turned his head forward, just as the light turned green, and he started to drive through the intersection. 
Steve knows this, it’s been gnawing at him, sitting there next to you, seeing how well you fit in, how almost perfect you were to him, how perfect you’ve always been whenever he was around you. He hadn’t felt like this strongly for someone, the way the thought of you made your head buzz and insides turn delightfully, which would of course be followed by this sick, hollow feeling that he couldn’t quite describe, much like how he felt when he realized Cassie was trying to be like you in that pizza parlor. 
God, you preoccupy his mind so much, and there’s a voice in him that says ask her out, you idiot , and then another voice says just kiss her, for the love of god just kiss her . He’s felt that one on occasion, when that electricity sparked between the both of you, when your eyelashes fluttered gently at him, your lips waiting for his…
Then, there’s that other voice, the one that came out the night before when talking to Robin. You don’t have time…you know what happened the last time you tried…it’s not worth it…it’s not worth breaking her heart over . 
Most of the time, that voice was louder. 
Robin looked at her friend who was deep in thought, and reached over to pat his shoulder, “I’ll demote you back to dingus, I will.” 
That at least made Steve laugh, and he replied a little weakly, “Honestly…that’s only fair.”
✧ ✧ ✧
“Steve, I’ve only known her for like two days, if you count the day you finally told me about her.” 
Robin’s voice was coming through the phone. 
It was about a week after Christmas, and you had dropped by the market one night just before Steve’s shift ended to give him some gifts. You had finally made more mixtapes for Cassie, the bag full of them, and for Steve, you went simple and got him a Christmas card with an ice skating penguin wearing a red beanie on it with a gift card inside. It was quite a bit of money, and you insisted that he needn’t to get you anything in return. You didn’t really have anyone to buy gifts for, besides for Heidi and her family and a secret santa at the school, and wanted to do something nice.
Steve was touched, really touched, so much that the voice that kept telling him to kiss you had to be fought off with a mental broomstick. And now, he was kind of freaking out about it and had called Robin almost immediately during his break at the Family Video Store the next day. 
“It was just nice, alright, and I don’t want to get her something bad…god why am I freaking out about it though?” 
“Because you like her, dingus,” Robin teased from all the way in New York, she was on her break at her job too, “Get her like…I don’t know a mug or something, teacher’s love those. I actually love those.” 
“No…no she’s not a teacher, at least not yet,” Steve replied, pressing his hand against his face, feeling a bit ridiculous about how much he was overthinking this. 
“Get her one, speak it into the universe for her,” Robin suggested, then said like she read his thoughts, “You’re overthinking this Steve, and that’s a lot coming from me. I can’t just tell you what to buy, you know her way more than me.” 
He sighed into his hand, “What the hell am I doing…” 
“You’re a big guy, Steve, you’ll figure it out… oh hey…what about a candle?” 
She was very clearly looking at a candle someone walked by holding in the department store she worked at part-time. 
Another reason why Steve was freaking out was because he was going to see you very soon, like tonight soon and the store’s would be closing earlier than usual so that he’d have to go straight to Starcourt after his shift ends. 
He had invited you to the Wheeler’s annual New Years Eve party, yet another almost family thing he wanted you to attend because quite literally everyone in his life would be there, the kids (Not kids, anymore, Steve), Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper… everyone . 
Robin did offer some good, basic presents, a mug, a candle…but what else? He wanted to at least add his own touch to it. 
With a good-bye to Robin, he was back at work, still inside his head of what to get you when Heidi, who he has known since high school, approached him at the counter. 
“Just returning,” she told Steve, placing them down on the counter in front of him. Steve nodded, turning to the computer set up until his eyes rested on her name again. He remembered then that you had mentioned you were going to be spending Christmas with her and her family, which could only mean that she was your friend as well. 
Steve stopped typing for a good second, turning his head to look at Heidi who was poking around the new concession stand they had set up (it was Steve’s idea). She seemed particularly interested in the kettlecorn, and Steve cleared his throat as he said, “So…Heidi…how was your holiday last week?” 
She looked up at him, and replied, “It was great, how was your Christmas with Cassie?” 
“Oh great, we spent it with the Hendersons, like always…” he trailed off, unsure of how to smoothly mention you and then try to see if she can help out in any way for getting you a gift, “Who’d you spend it with?”
Heidi answered her own family, and he said, “Nobody else?” 
He wanted to kick himself for making it so obvious. He could literally see it in her eyes when it clicked he was trying to bring you up without actually saying it. Steve hadn’t talked to Heidi like this in a long time, not since high school and not since they dated for like a month or so, he talked to her at the office, yes, but he talked to everyone there. Mostly you these days, if he was being honest.
“Wait…” Heidi trailed off and then asked if he was talking about you. Steve chuckled, and nodded, deciding to just own it. It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t suspicious, he was just asking about his friend . At least that’s what he tried to convince himself to make the anxious, racing of heart stop.
“Yeah, yeah I mean her…you’re pretty good friends, huh?” 
Heidi leaned on the counter, an intrigued look crossing her features and she said, “Yes, I think so, though…I don’t think we’re good friends like you and her are…” 
Steve took the tapes Heidi returned, trying to nonchalantly work while talking to her.
“I doubt it,” Steve replied, because if he and you were such good friends why couldn’t he decide on what kind of gift to get you. Heidi chuckled. 
“Right,” she said, not buying it clearly, “Is there something you want to ask me about her?”
“Well…” Steve started, then cleared his throat before continuing to say, “I want to get her something for Christmas, a little late I know, but she got me and Cass something and I just want to return the favor.” 
Heidi rested her chin on her hand, “Do you not know what to get her?” 
“I just need some ideas,” Steve replied quickly, making her laugh. 
“Well, maybe we both are just as good as friends with her, I had trouble getting her something too,” Heidi replied honestly, and that did make Steve a little more relieved, “I got her perfume, and my kids made her a s’more set, she seemed to love it. You know…I think…anything simple, really. She’ll love anything, especially if it’s from you .”
Steve thought it was the same for him, as he displayed that penguin Christmas card on his nightstand like it was some love letter. Heidi looked a little excited by this information, like he just told her some secret. He’d forgotten this quality of her, and found it oddly comforting in a way that she still held this aspect of her.
He finished processing the return for her, and she asked him if that’s all he wanted to ask. He nodded to her, and grinned politely. 
“Yeah, yeah that’s it, thanks Heidi,” he said, and she grinned back at him and turned to leave. He supposed a candle and a mug it was…still he hated how cheap it felt. You deserved more than that, but it would have to do. 
He had about an hour more to brew up some more ideas anyway.
Meanwhile, Heidi had called you the moment she could. You were at home getting ready for the party tonight when the phone rang and you answered, this was as Steve was rushing to Starcourt after his shift ended, and Heidi relayed everything to you. 
“You said there was nothing going on, you liar, he’s getting you a gift,” Heidi said, and you sucked in a sharp breath. 
“Friends get each other gifts, you got me one, I got you one,” you said, trying to play it off even though it was quite obvious there was something more between you and Steve, something strong and unspoken, something ready to burst any moment now. 
“Yeah, but I’m not him , he likes you, and you like him,” Heidi practically beamed, “I knew you weren’t immune to Steve Harrington’s charm. I mean, his daughter visits you all the time when she can…you got him to bake cookies…you spent Thanksgiving with him…he practically shoves the faculty just to stand by you at mandatory assemblies…he likes you.” 
“He’s a good friend,” you replied, cheeks feeling a little hot. 
And just like what Robin was saying about Steve to him when she first came to Hawkins, or what Dustin Henderson had said to his girlfriend Suzie, Heidi had said, “I don’t think you realize how insane all of that is for Steve freaking Harrington. Okay, he’s been practically off the market since Cassie’s mom just up and left town.” 
You frowned, and reminded her how she told you her friend had dated him. 
“Okay, but barely , she broke it off because he was never around, he never made time for her, he definitely didn’t invite her to go to a Holiday dinner, and she met Cassie like maybe once , twice at the most and that was by accident,” Heidi explained quickly, and you were going to say something, but she was speaking again, “And here you are, coming in from the city and making him trip over himself. I’m impressed, I really am.” 
You tried to fight the feelings mustering up in your stomach, “It’s not…he’s my friend.” 
“I find it interesting how he was saying the same thing,” your friend commented. 
“Because we are just friends,” you tried to emphasize, but knowing already that no matter what you said, your friend wouldn’t believe you. At this point, you were trying to convince yourself it was all you and Steve were, all that you would ever be because then if it never happens, you couldn't be disappointed. 
You’d just learn to live with the feelings and bursts of warmths that occur at just the simple thought of him, at the idea of seeing him, if anything, you were already doing it. Steve was a friend, a good friend, and you didn’t want that to change. 
You didn’t tell Heidi any of this, feeling almost embarrassed by your outlook, plus, you didn’t want to admit to her that you did like him, a lot. She can continue speculating, and you can continue pretending she was wrong. 
“I have to go,” you had told her finally after a couple more exchanges, “I have a party to go to tonight.” 
“With Steve ?” 
You scoffed and told her a good-bye and a “Happy New Year.”
She was giggling, and told you the same before you hung up. You hoped there would be alcohol at this party, and had you any left of your favorite wine you had brought to Heidi’s Christmas Party last week, you would’ve definitely started drinking now. 
✧ ✧ ✧
Steve had always been convinced that the biggest New Years in Hawkins was the one Karen Wheeler threw every year. It was practically full, every room decorated with streamers, tinsel, party hats, appetizers on every available surface and an abundance of alcohol. 
Now, it wasn’t a crazy party, like the ones he used to attend in High School and go to school the next day with a hangover, but it was pretty big and exciting. Overwhelming too, and he had warned you about it too. 
You seemed comfortable among his friends, although he considered them more as family, even after Cassie had taken your hand when you first arrived and started introducing you to everyone as ‘Her daddy’s girlfriend.’
This horrified Steve, as when he told Karen and everyone that he was inviting you, he made sure to not make the same mistake of Thanksgiving where he didn’t tell Dustin or Claudia that you and him were just friends. 
You were amazing though, just laughing when Cassie announced you as his girlfriend to everyone present and said, “Well I am a girl, and I am his friend.” 
“Exactly!” Cassie replied, a toothy grin that made Steve become suspicious of his daughter’s intention with that comment, as she’s never said anything like that about you before. He couldn’t really dwell on it though, as Cassie was eventually dragged away by the kids (Not. Kids. Anymore. Steve), leaving the adults like him upstairs.
There were a lot of people here, Steve had warned you prior that there would be, but everytime his eyes would find you across the room, he’d find you smiling and talking to someone, though he noticed it was mostly Claudia, who was absolutely delighted to see you again. 
“So…she’s really just your friend , Steve?” 
Nancy Wheeler was suddenly beside Steve, a woman he hadn’t seen for longer than he’d seen Robin. Steve turned away from you, and looked at her. 
“What?” 
Nancy laughed, “Nevermind. How have you been? Robin told me you’re working at Scoops Ahoy again…” 
Steve grimaced, but should’ve figured Robin would tell her this. He spent the next few minutes catching up with his old friend (And high school girlfriend), Steve telling her that he read one of the stories she reported on in the paper a while ago that gained immense popularity, and so on. She had done a lot, and really all he had to report was that he was working three different jobs, and made one new friend, which was you. 
His drink was gone by the end of it, and he excused himself to go some more in the kitchen and decided before doing so he should go down to the basement to see what Cassie was up to as it was going to be close to midnight and she might fall asleep. He walked down the steps of the basement, already hearing loud cursing that irked him. The ambience of the basement was suddenly not very Steve Approved. 
They were playing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, Cassie included , sitting in between Max and Lucas as Mike Wheeler spoke dramatically, leaving everyone, including Cassie, on the edge of their seats. Well, except Max. She was giving Mike an unamused look. 
“Shit, I knew we shouldn’t have done that,” Dustin cursed when Mike came to the conclusion of his overdramatics, and Steve scoffed loudly. 
“Hey, hey, there’s a child present,” Steve told them, resting his hands on his waist. All of them looked over at Steve, and it was Max who said, “Well now there is, you just walked in..” 
There were cackles from everyone and Steve shook his head, unamused with that comment even though he felt like he walked right into it. 
“Yeah, yeah just watch your language. I don’t want my daughter cursing like a sailor,” Steve replied and they all sighed, a chorus of begrudging apologies and eyerolls being thrown his way. 
“What are you doing down here, anyway? Wouldn’t you rather be with your girlfriend?” Mike asked, leaning back in his seat and giving Steve a look. 
“Seeing if my kid’s alright, and she’s not -” Steve sucked in a breath, not wanting to waste it on telling everyone that again as the way they all looked at him told him they weren’t going to believe him otherwise. 
“She’s the same girl from the video store, right?” Max suddenly asked, making Steve pause for a moment and she added before he could respond, “The girl’s whose number you couldn’t get.”
“What?” Steve asked. 
“She was at the video store,” Max repeated, “Come on, you remember. Lucas, you were there too.” 
Lucas looked confused and Max scoffed at him.
It had taken Steve a moment before he remembered what Max was talking about, how in the summer one of the first times you met was in the video store and Max had interacted with you for even a few seconds. 
“Yes, it’s the same girl,” Steve told her, and Max snapped her fingers and gave a pointed look to Dustin, “I told you it was her.” 
“How was I supposed to know that? I wasn’t even there , I was just relaying the information of Steve’s new girlfriend,” Dustin said, before Lucas was suddenly nodding. 
“Oh, oh I remember her now,” he said, then looked at Steve, “Wait, if she’s his girlfriend then that means he did get her number.” 
“I thought it was pretty much established that he didn’t,” Max replied to her boyfriend. Steve watched as the short back and forth ensued, Cassie looking in between the two everytime one talked, and his expression became bemused as Max ended with, “He didn’t get her number.” 
She was right, he didn’t, but why he was offended by that he had no clue, because from what he remembers- he didn’t even ask for your number that day, in fact it wasn’t until a few weeks after he did (he was NOT going to tell them that though)…soon the conversation turned toward you though in the span of a few seconds. 
“I like her, she seems nice,” El had said, and Will had agreed with his sister. 
“She’s also cool, remember when I told you guys she’s interested in learning to play Dungeons and Dragons, so already better than Steve,” Dustin said, and all of them full-heartedly agreed. Steve knew it was just meant to tease him, so he didn’t take that to heart that much. 
“Right, well, I was just checking on Cass, so watch your language and please don’t make my daughter think I’m lame with your comments,” Steve said, pointing at all of them, and it was almost majestic how all of them snorted one after the other for that comment. He scowled, and was about to turn before Cassie called out to him. 
She was getting out of her seat, and then standing in front of him as she asked, “When are you going to give her our gift?”
Steve blinked for a moment before answering, “We can do it now, go get her and I’ll go grab it from the car.” He was already digging into his pockets for his keys, but Cassie was stopping him. 
“I’m playing!” she declared, “You give her it.” 
Steve furrowed his brows at his daughter and asked, “Wait, so you don’t want to watch her open the gift we got her?”
His daughter was shaking her head, but Steve felt like he saw something in her eyes, something mischievous and all in all suspicious . 
“I think I’m getting sleepy too,” Cassie said, then yawned dramatically after. Steve squinted his eyes at her, wondering why she was acting so strangely.
“Just give her the gift yourself Steve, jeesh,” Mike called, anxious to get back to the campaign and spend as much time as possible on it before the clock struck 12. Steve gave him a look before looking back at Cassie who was giving him a very sleepy smile. Sighing, he nodded and said if she’s that tired then she should lay down before he kissed her head and turned to go back upstairs. 
Cassie watched her dad go, before she turned and eagerly skipped back in her chair between Max and Lucas. 
“What are you up to, Cassie?” Max asked suspiciously, and the little girl could only laugh.
Steve had left the house, grabbing the gift from the backseat and came back in to find you. You were in the living room, sitting on the couch beside Nancy and having a conversation when Steve was suddenly placing his hand on your shoulder to capture your attention. 
You hummed as you looked up at him, cheeks a little warm from the alcohol you’ve consumed since you arrived at this party and smiling sweetly at the sight of his soft stare. 
“Come with me,” Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to tell Nancy you’d be right back. Nancy held her drink up to her lips as she said, “It’s almost midnight, don’t be away long you guys.” 
You chuckled as you stood up, taking your cup with you as you followed Steve into the kitchen. You stopped in front of the island at the center, and turned to ask Steve if everything was alright only to be met with a bright red bag being held in front of your face. 
You blinked softly, your mind moving a little slow that it was indeed a gift for you. The gift that Heidi had told you he was getting you. 
“Oh you didn’t have to…” you said, gazing at the bag. Steve shook his head. 
“No, I wanted to…Cass threw something in there too for you, by the way, I think it was a huge candy cane and a pencil, sorry to spoil the surprise.” 
You chuckled at that, taking the bag from Steve and twisting around so you could place it on the counter. Steve moved to the other side of the counter, leaning on it with both forearms as he watched with his brown eyes you start to take out the red tissue paper. 
The candy cane showed up first, and it was pretty big, the middle of it wrapped with a big red bow with a tag that said from Cassie in all caps. You smiled warmly, setting it aside gently before digging more into the gift. You didn’t find a pencil, but you did find a bag of carrots tied with the same red ribbon as the candy cane.
You laughed loudly, before your other hand covered your mouth and you tried to contain that laugh especially when you looked up and saw Steve’s face. He was completely dumbfounded staring at the carrots. 
“What the…when the hell did she put those in there?” He asked, bewildered by the reveal, “She said she put a pencil in there!” He pointed at them, before he turned his head toward the entryway to the basement, where he knew Cassie still was, knowing that if she was here she’d be laughing just like you were. Maybe that was why she was acting so weird…she threw carrots in there without telling him. 
You held the bag of carrots to your chest and said, “ I love them. Don’t know what’s going to beat these to be honest, but we’ll see.” You shook the bag lightly, feeling that it was pretty heavy, and something clinked together in there.
Steve turned back to you, horrified by what you just did and you shook it again lightly to freak him out some more before setting the carrots down and digging deeper into the bag. Your hand wrapped around something, and you knew what it was before you even brought it out. 
It was a bottle of wine. 
“ Oh .”
You looked at it closely, already feeling your mouth water just a little and you said suspiciously, “How did you know I was out?” He laughed at that, leaning away to push his hair out of his face nervously before leaning back down.
“I remember you bought that like weeks ago,” Steve told you quickly, “Then you bought it again before Christmas…I assumed it would be gone.”
You grinned widely, and set it down. You really can’t believe he remembered that. 
“There’s more in there, like two more things. Robin helped me figure out what else to get you.” 
“Then I know it’ll be good ,” you teased, making his sweet smile turn into an amused one. You took out the next thing. It was a candle, a three-wick one to be precise and you gasped loudly, tearing off the tin lid and bringing it up to your nose. 
You welcomed the sweet, vanilla scent of it, and sighed loudly. Steve was staring at you expectantly, eyes a little concerned as if he was afraid you weren’t going to like it. 
“You like it? Because I like this candle too, a lot, I’ve gone through like three of them and I thought you’d like it too,” Steve told you, and you smelled it again. 
“Are you kidding? It smells so good,” you replied, still holding the candle up to your face, “It’s so sweet, thank you.” 
You inhaled it again, before setting that aside too. Steve continued to watch with anticipation as you finally pulled the last item out. It was wrapped in paper, so you meticulously removed it before you realized it was a mug that said ‘ World’s Best Teacher.’ A little cheesy, but incredibly sweet as he said, “I know you’re not a teacher yet, but hey…when you are , you have the mug to prove it.” 
You just stared at the mug, your cheeks hurting from how much you’d been smiling and you lifted your eyes to meet him as you thanked him, “Thank you Steve…and Cassie too wherever she is.” 
You set the mug down beside the other gifts, feeling slightly overwhelmed (and a little shameful as all you got Steve was a card and giftcard). You relayed this to him and he laughed softly at you. 
“I literally displayed that card,” Steve said, before his cheeks turned red with embarrassment that he’d just said that, and he coughed into his hand before asking, “So you liked them?”
You nodded, “Yes, although…I think the carrots were my favorite,” you said jokingly. Steve scoffed at you, though the smug grin on his lips showed that he knew it was just a joke, especially as he watched you gaze almost lovingly at the three things he chose for you. 
You loved the gifts, you loved the candle, the wine…the mug …you loved…
You paused your thoughts, as they were about to say you loved him . It was silly…ridiculous even…to say you loved him. You could lie to yourself and say the love you felt for him was platonic, but you knew it was a lie. You fell in love with Steve Harrington. 
He was still looking at you, still leaning on his forearms on the island across from you, brown eyes soft and warm. Your heart just bloomed in your chest, and butterflies just erupted in your stomach, and then…you were leaning in without thinking. 
Steve went still when he felt your lips against his, having not been expecting it, not at all. You were kissing him, literally kissing him. His mind short circuited and he couldn’t keep up with it, that when you pulled away he almost thought it didn’t happen if not for the tingle left on his lips by yours. 
“I…”
Your voice was breathless, and your eyes horrified as you realized what you had just done. You stepped back, pressing your lips, that were surely tingling like Steve’s were, together and you said, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
Steve’s mind caught up with him in an instant, and he stood up straight, not wanting you to go all of a sudden. 
“Wait…” he told you, stepping out from behind the counter and moving toward you. His body was engulfed in warmth, mind with disbelief really at what just happened, and he stood in front of you, looking at you almost tenderly. 
You stared back at him, still embarrassed, body a little rigid and tense and he opened his mouth to say something more, anything, and he seemed to be stuck on what he wanted to say, eyebrows furrowing and a frown overcoming his lips before he dropped his head slightly and said, “Don’t be sorry.”
Your own eyebrows furrowed at this, cheeks heating up somehow even more , not understanding what he meant. Suddenly, you felt his hand on your cheek, his touch electrifying, and then his hand was underneath your chin, making you tilt your head upward.
Your breath hitched, not being able to take your eyes off of him. His own brown gaze had flickered downward, resting on yours lips, the lips that were just on his and then…his eyes met yours and he was leaning in again. 
You held your breath.
Then, just as you felt his lips just barely graze yours, the sound of somebody running up the stairs ripped you and Steve out of this moment. He was stepping away from you quickly, and you backed up too, your back hitting the wall just as the door was flung open and Max, Lucas, and Dustin were there wearing their New Years Party hats with a noisemaker in each of their mouths. Dustin had two in his mouth though, weirdly. 
“It’s almost time for the ball to drop,” Dustin stated, voice muffled as he shifted to the side to let Mike, El, and Will walk by the both of them, stalking toward the living room. Cassie was behind them, wearing a party hat and holding another in her hand, which she held out to you. 
“Let’s go!” she said eagerly. You couldn’t really deny her, just standing almost motionlessly as Cassie took your hand and began to pull you. You cast one last look at Steve, who was just standing there with an unreadable expression on his features. 
It was Lucas who stood there silently, looking between both you and Steve, seeing whatever it was that Max and Dustin (and understandably Cassie) seemed to not be seeing at this moment, unless they were just ignoring it. He crossed his arms and hummed quietly to himself. 
Cassie managed to pull you away then, smiling cheekily as she dragged you toward the living room where everyone would be gathered when they ring in the New Year. Steve watched Cassie take you away, expression turning almost sad .
“Hello? Earth to Steve?” Dustin said, then blew the noisemakers, making Steve jump and give him a look. 
“I heard you, Henderson, jeesh,” Steve said, turning so he could place all your gifts back into the bag. They watched him do so, Lucas with a now knowing look in his eyes and Max with a raised brow. Steve walked to the living room without looking at any of them. 
They watched him go and Lucas said, “They definitely just made out or something.” 
“Well, why wouldn’t they? They’re dating,” Max replied, walking away first. Lucas huffed and followed after her while Dustin stared at the empty kitchen, knowing that Steve and you weren’t actually dating and just playing along with the joke. 
He shook his head and said, “ Seriously ?” to himself.
✧ ✧ ✧
It was almost two weeks into the New Year, and with Cassie starting school up again, Steve dove himself into work. He did this because it was the only thing that kept him from thinking about New Years, from thinking about you . 
And it was hard work because now that he knew how your lips felt against his, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, every crevice of his mind was overtaken by you. You consumed him completely, and if it took focusing on making ten USS butterscotches, rewinding tapes all night, or restocking a bunch of ravioli cans to get him back to a more stable state of mind, that’s what he was going to have to do. 
In the meantime, you had been doing the same. One of the assistant teachers had been out for a while for the afterschool program at Hawkins Elementary, and you offered to fill in. It was easy enough to distract you, as you were doing what you loved and wanted to do for a living, but the moment you were left with your thoughts it was just of Steve and you felt confused, a bit ashamed, and incredibly heated, as when you closed your eyes you could still see the way he looked at you, and feel his large hand on your chin, so close to leaning in and kissing you again. 
Your heart fluttered in your chest at the memory, and heat pooled in your stomach. 
Then, the shame would settle in cruelly, because now it felt like you couldn’t be around the guy, too embarrassed, and fearful that he didn’t want to be around you. You felt sick at the thought of that. 
Until the day Cassie came to see you. 
The conversation had been brief, considering it was at the school library, and it ended with her asking you to join her and her dad ice skating.
“I…I’m not sure, Cass,” you said, voice soft as you were still in the library. She was holding a stack of paperback books, and was shaking her head.
“But you have to, it’s going to close, and you said you could teach me to skate,” Cassie declared, making you sigh at the little girl. 
“ Roller skate,” you replied, and she shrugged then paused before she batted her eyelashes at you and said, “My daddy wants you there, he said we can go only if you go.” 
You stared at Cassie, watching as she said ‘ pleaseeeee’ before sticking her bottom lip out to really sell the puppy dog look she was giving you. You weren’t sure if she was telling you the truth about that, as Steve would’ve called you, but you also didn’t want to say no to Cassie. 
She had made that expression to you before, when she was practically begging you to help her and Steve bake, and you didn’t have Steve to scold her. You knew then that you were for sure going to join them ice skating, and your stomach twisted at the mere thought of seeing Steve. 
What the hell were you going to say to him? You felt like puking, the anxiety was too much, but Cassie had got you to agree to it. Saturday, tomorrow , at Scoops Ahoy in Starcourt (As the skating rink was set up in their parking lot). She had skipped away with a smile on her lips, probably happy knowing she got her way. 
✧ ✧ ✧
It wasn’t a busy day at Scoops Ahoy, as it usually goes in the Winter. There were quite a few people who enjoyed a nice scoop of ice cream or a sundae on even a day as cold as this one, which was probably the coldest day of the season. Still, even with those types of people it wasn’t busy, so Steve was able to easily hold down the fort on his own until his shift ended.
He mainly stayed in the back, doing extra work in counting the inventory of the freezer. He made sure, too, to stay close to the window, so he could hear if any customers approached the counter.
Eventually, the bell did ring, taking his focus away from the numbers on the clipboard he was currently looking over. He didn’t look up, wanting to finish what he was doing first, so instead he called, “Be with you in a moment!” His voice muffled as he had a pen between his lips.
He pulled the pen off of its cap, and it remained between his lips as he quickly jotted something down beside the vanilla ice cream portion. When he finished, he suddenly felt compelled to look up. When he did, he almost spit the cap out on the floor. 
It was the person who had been plaguing his every thought when it wasn’t focused on a task, the person whose lips had touched his if even for a second. It was you , and he had to blink a few times, wondering if he’d become so overworked that he hallucinated you. 
When you smiled sweetly at him, and waved a gloved hand at him, he knew for sure you were real. 
He’d never seen you here before, never , and he suddenly felt, for the first time since high school, very self-conscious in his silly uniform. Thank god he decided to go without the sailor hat today. He very quickly started to move, setting the clipboard aside and taking the cap out of his mouth before he smiled back at you and scrambled to the door that led back to behind the counter. 
“Hey!” Steve said, his voice a little higher than usual, especially when he saw you did a quick glance at the uniform, and he quickly asked, “What- what are you doing here?” 
At his question you lifted your eyes at him and tilted your head as you replied, “I uh…Cassie told me to come. I don’t see her anywhere though?” 
You turned away from Steve, as if not wanting to make eye contact with him as you gestured around the parlor, which made his heart tear, but not when he realized what you had just said. Cassie told you to come?
“Wait- she told you to come here? Right now?” he asked. You nodded, finally looking at him. 
“Yeah, she said something about going ice skating with you both? And well, she conned me into agreeing,” you said, then laughed lamely at your own joke. Steve didn’t laugh, not because he didn’t find it funny, in fact he liked when you laughed at your own remarks, but because…Cassie wasn’t here , and they never discussed going ice skating. Well they did, but the answer was no . 
“If you don’t want me to join because- well- I mean- you know - I can go, I really don’t mind,” you were starting to say, but Steve was suddenly resting his hands on his waist and shook his head.
“No! Well…I mean…I think she conned both of us,” he replied incredulously, “We’re not…she’s not even here - I won’t even see her until tomorrow because she’s at a sleepover.”
This had visibly taken you off guard, your eyebrows that were once furrowed were not raising before you opened your mouth and let out a breath. 
“She is?” you asked, “When was that planned?” 
“Earlier this week,” Steve replied, shaking his head in disbelief. What was Cassie thinking? Creating a fake plan and making you come all the way down here? He was genuinely confused by her strange behavior. Immediately, he started to apologize for her, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why she would even do that. I mean, I know she wants to go ice skating really bad, but- I didn’t think she’d make something up in order to go ice skating, but, she’s not even here -” 
“No, no it’s okay, maybe I misheard her,” you said, though you were sure you didn’t, but decided to convince yourself that you did. You rather ended up laughing, finding a bit of amusement in the situation. Steve listened to your laugh, the awkward feeling he dreaded when he would see you again was replaced with a familiar warmth.
He laughed too, finally. 
“I know you said it’s okay, but yeah I’m sorry,” he said after laughing, and you nodded. 
“Well…since I’m here I can’t help but recall…” you trailed off, and Steve’s stomach twisted pleasantly, thinking you were going to bring up that New Years kiss, but you lifted your eyes away from him and looked at the menu before finishing with, “...that you said you’d make me a…what was it? A USS Butterscotch ?” 
Steve tilted his head, then laughed breathlessly as he remembered he did technically say he’d treat you to some free ice cream that night. Your eyes averted back to his, and he reached to grab his scooper from his uniform and flipped it expertly as he said, “Coming right up…and maybe, if you want , just to get Cassie back…we could go ice skating and make sure to tell her all about it.” 
The thought made you giggle, imagining his daughter’s face realizing her whatever little trick she had planned backfired and that they still went ice skating without her. 
Soon you were sitting at a booth, Steve sitting across from you and pushing the well-made sundae toward you, then he slid over a spoon as well. 
“I think this is the best one I’ve made,” he admitted to you, though his leg was still bouncing underneath the table, nervous for some reason that you’d hate it. He felt ridiculous because it was ice cream and he’s never met anyone who hated it, especially if it was free and as beautiful as the sundae he just made for you. 
“I like the cones as sails,” you commented, leaning down to admire the piece of art he’d made in an Ice Cream parlor, “It’s cute .”
“ Cute , yeah it is,” he said, though he wasn’t looking at the sundae and you noticed it. You smiled, your heart pacing in your chest before you took the plastic spoon from him, grazing your fingers with his in the process. That was an accident, but a happy one as Steve sucked in a tight breath as he watched you scoop some onto your spoon, taking a cherry one one of the scoops with it. 
It was good, really good, so much that you went for a second spoonful immediately and Steve grinned, “Enjoying it?” 
“This is delicious, damn, I bet it tastes even better in the summer,” you said before taking another spoonful, “Also, I didn’t say , but I love the uniform.” 
You meant it too, the sailor costume suited him somehow, and you thought the shorts looked pretty good on him too. You did feel bad, just a bit, that he had to wear shorts during the winter though. 
His cheeks turned red, and it made you chuckle into your spoon, “Hard to believe no girls liked you when you first worked here, honestly, I think I would’ve been in here everyday to see King Steve serve ice cream.” 
“Believe me, I would’ve had a much better time if you were in here all the time back then,” Steve replied, “You’d probably skate in on your disco roller skates or something, because more than likely you would’ve worked at the old skating rink.”
“ Old skating rink?” you asked, and he nodded and told you that there had been a skating rink where the mall’s arcade is now, but there was a fire a few years back and they never brought it back. You hummed with interest as you ate more of the ice cream. 
“Yeah, they had these uniforms too, not as ridiculous as this ,” he said, patting himself on the chest, “But it was vibrant, and I think they had to wear glow sticks , and then they’d be playing disco music constantly, you would’ve loved it.” 
“Was…” you suddenly paused, the question you were about to ask feeling like one that would overstep a boundary. Steve tilted his head curiously at you, and you shook your head as you averted your attention back to the ice cream. 
“What?” 
“Nothing,” you replied quickly, “Just a dumb question I don’t need the answer to.”
“Well, now I gotta know, come on…just ask,” Steve said, feeling his heart starting to blossom in his chest. He wondered if you were going to ask about New Years, even though it would seem quite random in the conversation. 
You set the spoon into the sundae, and said, “I was just going to ask if…Cassie’s mom was one of those girls.” 
Steve paused, not expecting that out of all questions. It’s never come up in conversation with the both of you, but it wasn’t all surprising after a second of contemplation. She had been looming over him lately. He shifted in his spot, and inhaled before he said, “Nah. She actually knew me before …we were actually friends …but…yeah it’s a long story. It uh…we actually worked at the video store together after me and Robin got fired from Scoops and well..yeah you know…I guess it does say something that we didn’t get together when I worked here.”
You were relieved he had replied. He leaned back in the booth, a troubled look coming over his features as if he didn’t know what else to say, and you cleared your throat as you ate another scoop then set the spoon down. 
“Sorry for asking, it isn’t my place,” you said, cheeks turning warm and feeling stupid, but he quickly shook his head. 
“No, no , it’s alright,” he said, “I mean Cassie had a mom, obviously, she’s just not here and I can’t be mad at you for being curious.” 
You smiled tightly, and he reached up to smooth his hair back before he exhaled softly and said, sensing you weren’t convinced it was okay, “Seriously. It’s okay. I can even tell you more actually, if you want. She…she was my friend once, then we weren’t friends for a while because she skipped town, then one day she came back and we were friends again and uh…then well… a year later Cassie was born and she left again .” 
He was purposely not telling you specifics, and you weren’t going to press him, still feeling like you were overstepping even though he assured you that you weren’t. You took the spoon again, messing with the ice cream and tearing your eyes away from him as you said, “I’m sorry.” 
Steve shook his head again, then waved his hand for added effect, “You don’t have to be sorry about anything…you know…like on New Years.” 
At the mention of it, you froze, having thought that him not mentioning it meant there was silent agreement to not bring it up and just forget it. You were doing so well not being so awkward. You looked up at him, seeing his cheeks were a little pink before he leaned both hands on the table between you and shot you a sweet grin, and he said, “We were both a little tipsy.” 
For some reason, that made your heart drop and you realized you maybe thought he was going to declare his love for you or something. Not wanting to show it on your face, you were quick to take another scoop of ice cream and stick the spoonful in your mouth before you forced yourself to laugh.
Steve’s eyes flickered your expression without you noticing, a frown flashing over his lips before he too forced a laugh out. Then, both of you were saved by the bell. He turned his head, seeing a family standing by the counter and his eyes flashed to the clock. This would for sure be his last customer before clocking out, before you both go ice skating to spite his trickster of a daughter. 
Meanwhile, as he excused himself, you made it your goal to finish the sundae as a distraction from the conflicted feelings that were stirring inside of you. 
15 minutes had passed then, and before you knew it Steve was emerging from the backroom in a dark red sweatshirt and loose dark gray sweatpants while holding his winter coat in one arm. He certainly looked like someone who was expecting to go straight home after work, because after all it wasn’t planned and you told him that you didn’t have to ice skate if he’d rather go home. 
“No way. I’m not gonna let Cass do this to us without consequences,” he said as he shrugged on his coat, then helped you put yours back on like it was second nature. You didn’t even notice as you put your arms through the sleeves and he pat your shoulders down. 
“We could always just say we went ice skating,” you said, and Steve shook his head. 
“No, we’re doing this for real,” he said, determined to go ice skating even if it was starting to snow outside again, because after all the ice skating rink was set up in the parking lot of Starcourt. Couples, families, groups of teens already with their rental skates on skating in a circle by the time you were out there with Steve, holding your respective rental skates.
After getting the skates on, you placed your beanie on your head, and then your gloves while Steve pulled random gloves from his coat pocket and placed them on his hands as well. You wondered if he was warm enough as you observed him, eyes flickering over the snowflakes that decorated the strands of his brunette hair. 
You were a bit jealous of them, then felt ridiculous for being jealous of a damn snowflake. You scowled at your silly thoughts as you stood up, balancing on the skates with ease and Steve lifted his head at you then did the same. Although, he wasn’t as elegant as you. Immediately his arms spread out, and his legs twisted awkwardly. 
“Oh shit ,” he said, desperately trying to balance on the blades and you could only stand there staring at him, amusement replacing your self-embarrassment. 
“Are you good?” you asked, and after a moment he managed to keep still and without looking up from the ground he replied, “Totally. I’m totally good. Don’t worry about me.” 
You furrowed your brows before you said, “Have you ice skated before Steve?” 
“ Yeah ,” he said, trying to step toward you confidently but then cursing when his foot bent slightly. You caught his hands this time, laughing softly, “I’m just not, you know, good at it.”
“I find that hard to believe,” you said, letting his hands grip yours tightly as he found his balance again. You weren’t even on the ice yet. At your words, Steve lifted his head to meet your eyes, and your faces were in such close proximity that his cheeks grew warm. 
“What do you mean?” he asked. 
“Just Robin went on about how you were good at everything in high school,” you teased, starting to step backward toward the ice. Steve grasped your hands tighter, and replied with a nervous laugh, “Everyone has their weakness. I wasn’t a hockey player, I was a basketball, baseball, tennis, badminton…” he trailed off purposely with other sports that had nothing to do with ice skating, making you giggle. 
“Are you sure you want to do this then? Like I said we could always just say we went ice skating,” you said as you were right at the ice. Steve nodded confidently. 
“I mean, I already got the skates on, and then I have a skater to help me so…” 
“Well, I am better at roller skating…but if we both fall and get hurt at least we’ll have evidence we went ice skating,” you said, half-joking as you yourself were a bit nervous. You were for sure more of a roller skater than an ice skater, but it seemed like Steve didn’t know the difference. A skater was good at all kinds of skating to him. 
“God the last thing I need is to get injured,” he said, hands still clasped tightly around yours, “ Oh my god .” 
You were on the ice now, gliding backwards and pulling Steve with you. His legs spread out, he nearly fell onto you as you laughed. 
“Should we have brought Cassie’s elbow and knee pads for you?” You teased again, and he laughed sarcastically.
“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” he said then panicked when he almost slipped, and would’ve fallen had you not been holding onto him, “Yup, yup this was a bad idea,” he told you, eyes wide and cheeks even more red from embarrassment and the cold weather. 
You shook your head and said, “We’re already here! Come on, let’s at least skate one lap.” 
From afar there was a shout, then laughter and you both turned your heads to see someone had fallen and their friends were laughing at them. They flipped them off before moving to stand, and Steve grimaced, already imagining that to be him . 
“Here,” you removed one hand from his, and his eyes grew even wider, believing for a second you were going to do what some parents do when teaching their kids how to swim, just throwing them into the water so their survival instincts kick in (except you were going to leave him, a grown man, on a sheet of ice wearing knives for shoes), but you kept a firm hold on one hand, “Just focus on staying balanced, and if you think you’re going to fall…well let me go so I don’t go down either .” 
Steve glided away from you, but found a nice balance by just holding your hand. Truth be told, he was starting to get an idea, as it really wasn’t his first time ice skating. Just after the first time he vowed never to do it again, yet, here he was with the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about even before that tipsy (though you both knew you were anything but tipsy that night) willingly ice skating. 
“ One lap ,” Steve told you, and you squeezed his hand. 
“One lap,” you repeated, then grinned as you glided forward, Steve’s wobbling legs struggling to follow suit. 
From an outsider's perspective, you and Steve appeared to be a couple on some sort of date, and since there were people there who recognized the pair to be you and Steve, such as Holly Wheeler with her friends, and a few faculty members of Hawkins Elementary, it seemed to them that it was a date. That you and Steve, as they all suspected, were together romantically. 
Your laughs could be heard by them as you passed by, and whenever you were looking forward, Steve would be looking at you with adoration in brown eyes, blinking only to get the snowflakes off of his thick lashes because he didn’t want to have any other reason to take his eyes off of you. 
He was clearly, so desperately, in love with you from the eyes of others, clear to everyone but the two people it should be clear to. As far as you both knew (or convinced yourselves really), you were just friends who decided to skate together in the beginning of the final snow storm of the season, as the wind picked up and the snowfall became more frequent. 
You had skated more than one lap, your hands not leaving each other even once as you shared this moment together, and you would’ve gone for more had the rink decided not to close early. Both of you were disappointed, hating that the fun was over so soon, hating that you’d have to leave each other again, all so you both can go home and lay in your respective beds with warmth bursting in your stomachs at the thought of the other. You would both look at the phones, thinking if you should call the other, if the other would pick up right away because these feelings were killing them too. 
It seemed though that the night wouldn’t end that way, as Steve had walked you to your car like the gentleman he was, and it didn’t start . You were practically shivering as you attempted to start it again, twisting the key in the ignition and getting nothing. 
“Well damn ,” you said with a scowl, and a chatter of your teeth as Steve furrowed his eyebrows before he cursed himself. 
“I said I’d look at your car and I never did,” he said, finding a way to blame himself for your predicament, but you were quick to brush it off. 
“No it’s my fault, I had plenty of chances to get it looked at and I just…never did,” you laughed, feeling foolish, “It would break down in the middle of a snow storm though.” 
Steve laughed too, though it was more of a pity laugh before he said he’d be more than happy to take you home, promising that there’d be working heat in his car. You didn’t have to be asked twice, letting him lead you toward his familiar car. 
✧ ✧ ✧
The blizzard had gotten worse by the time Steve pulled up to your house, pulling the car into your empty driveway carefully with a hyperfocus driver’s in the snow should have. His lights were barely able to capture your garage door, stepping on the breaks as he did. Your seatbelt locked, and you bounced forward slightly as he quickly apologized. 
“It’s so bad out there, god,” you commented, not blaming him for almost crashing into your garage. You also silently thought to yourself it was just as well that your car broke down and Steve had to take you home. You probably would’ve never made it here had you had to drive alone from Starcourt. 
“ Yeah ,” Steve agreed, looking through the windshield as the wipers worked overtime to get the snow off, “I hope I can get home in this.” He shook his head with discontentment, and you blinked, an idea popping in your mind. 
“You don’t have to…we can put your car in the garage, and you can stay until it dies down a little?” you suggested innocently. Steve looked at you now, looking quite touched by your invitation and you offered a small smile. 
“Would it be okay to ask for something hot? Like coffee?” he asked you, and you chuckled. 
“You read my mind.”
It’s how you found yourself in your kitchen with Steve Harrington for the second time, except this time neither of you were covered in various baking ingredients. You were in front of your french coffee press, the thick scent of coffee beans filling the atmosphere. Steve was rubbing his hands together, desperate to feel some kind of heat as your heater was barely kicking on.
The wind blew outside, causing the boards of your windows to knock together loudly and then your house to shake momentarily as well. Steve looked around, and then blew into his hands as he said, “You mind if I take the couch? I doubt this is going to go down anytime soon.” 
You glanced at him, the idea of him sleeping over making your heart leap of your chest, as you felt the last thing you needed was the man you desperately wanted romantically, but couldn’t have to be sleeping under the same roof as you. You wouldn’t be able to sleep, but who would you be to refuse a friend , especially in a storm like this. 
You poured coffee into one of the mugs you had taken out of the cupboard, clearing your throat as you said, “No, I don’t mind, I’ll get some extra blankets and pillows after this…I actually wonder if Cassie is okay.” 
“Oh I know she’s loving this,” Steve replied, noticing you were pouring coffee into a mug and staring at the steaming mug with anticipation, “She’s probably only upset she’s not home because when blizzards like this happen I usually make her hot chocolate and we sit in the kitchen just listening to it or in the living room staring out the window. Weather like this intrigues her.” 
You smiled, and said, “That’s good. I’d be scared to death at her age, honestly.”
You held the mug out for Steve and he gladly took it, inhaling deeply and practically moaning. You laughed at that, cheeks becoming inflamed as you put creamer into your coffee to sweeten it up. Steve did the same. 
“Yeah, me too,” he replied to your prior statement, “I actually used to think the house was going to blow away and we’d end up halfway across the country.” 
“Honestly, at this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised,” you said just as another sharp gust of wind passed and gave a violent shake to the house. Steve looked around again, looking nervous now that it may be true, but the number of blizzards he went through in his childhood alone was enough evidence to know that it simply wasn’t possible. It was one of the main reasons he made sure Cassie wouldn’t have to endure a bad storm or blizzard like this alone.
Steve took a sip of his coffee then, not caring that it was still too hot to drink, and just wanting to feel some kind of warmth as it seemed your heater was struggling to fight against the cold. It should’ve been the first sign that something was going to happen. 
You leaned into your counter, holding your own mug with both hands and breathing in the steam deeply and closing your eyes.
“This is kind of nice, actually,” you admitted as you took a sip as well, listening to the harsh winds and Steve agreed.
“Thanks for letting me stay, by the way,” he told you, “I thought maybe I’d be pushing it by asking.”
You shook your head, as your concern wasn’t with him overstepping any kind of boundary. 
“Don’t. I mean, we’re friends, Steve,” you willed yourself to say into your coffee.
Steve averted his eyes to yours, seeing you were looking mindlessly at nothing, and he pressed his lips together before breathlessly saying, “ Yeah , friends.”
You both silently drank your coffee, enjoying its warmth and enjoying the way it eased the sudden awkwardness between the two of you. It was a perfect distraction, for the time being, until you both wanted more.
As you poured a second round of coffee into his mug, Steve cleared his throat and said, “ Great coffee.” 
You thanked him cheekily, and Steve dragged the mug closer to him, keeping his gaze on you as you poured more into your own mug. He didn’t know what to say, unsure, but there was a sudden hard gust of wind, and then it sounded like something crashed . You both had jumped, you were thankfully not holding the coffee, and before either of you could question what just happened, you were suddenly engulfed in darkness. 
“God, the lights went out!” you called, hands grasping your kitchen counter as you navigated in the darkness. Steve noticed you sounded further into the kitchen, and blinked his eyes a few times trying to adjust to the sudden darkness. 
“Got any flashlights?” Steve asked you, speaking the direction of a drawer being opened and rummaged through. 
“In the garage,” you told him, and then he saw a small flicker of light. You were holding an ignited match, and then, you were lighting a candle to at least give some light for your venture to the garage.
You approached Steve then, holding the lit up candle in your hand and Steve was immediately met with the familiar vanilla scented candle he had in his own house, the same candle he had gifted you on New Years. 
“Hey…I know this candle,” Steve said, and you chuckled softly as you replied, “ Yeah , huh, it’s like you knew we’d need this.” 
Steve inhaled deeply, loving the smell and you did the same, and said, “I love it so much.” 
Your face was illuminated by the candlelight, casting a pretty glow on your features and Steve had to release a breath, a breath of which almost blew the candle out. This made you laugh and lean away from him to make sure he didn’t and told him to follow you. 
You and him had gone into your garage, you picking out the flashlights that Steve turned on so you more light than the candle. It was the harsh cold in there that made you both realize that if the power was out, then you wouldn’t have your heater . 
“We’re going to freeze,” you said in a dreadful tone, already feeling a chill coming over you. Steve was holding your only working flashlight, and shined it around your living room as he said something about body warmth , before he paused and said, “We can light a fire? Have any wood?” 
You promptly looked over his body warmth comment, since he seemed to do so, and you paused as you remembered that in early December Heidi’s husband had given you a bunch of firewood because he had cut too many. You had planned to use it, but never found the time to actually start a fire, so it simply sat in your garage. You relayed this to Steve, and he seemed more than happy to go and get them. 
“We should bring all the blankets and pillows you have out here so we can sit on the floor,” Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to go grab those while Steve busied himself with starting a fire. You had decided, as well, that you were going to light various candles, or at least the ones you could find. 
You placed them on a few surfaces located in your living room, and just as you set down the last one, a fire was ignited in your fireplace and Steve was leaning over it, rubbing his hands in front of the growing flames and nodding as if proud of himself that you weren’t going to freeze to death, not on his watch. 
The sight made you smile, thankful that Steve was here and thankful that you never used the firewood. He turned then, looking around the dimly lit living room as he noticed there were more candles and you watched his brown eyes flicker all over the room until they finally found you. 
“Ah, there you are, come on, it’s warmer right here,” Steve told you, and you set down the candle and obliged. You fell to the ground next to him, not before grabbing one of your blankets, and sighed at the heat that emitted from the well lit fire. 
“Better?” he asked you and nodded. 
“ Yeah ,” you said, holding your hands out to the flame and Steve gave a nod as he said, “Good.” 
After getting a bit warm, Steve suddenly laughed and said, “Got any more of that wine I got you? Could help warm us up a bit more.” 
You were quick to stand, loving that idea, and Steve seemed surprised that you in fact did have the wine. You took the flashlight, and he listened to a bit of rustling in the kitchen and the sound of a cabinet being opened and closed followed by the sound of glasses clinking. 
As you were setting everything on the counter, there was another gust of wind that shook the house violently, and you almost dropped one of the glasses. You looked around, then shook your head and wondered as you grabbed the wine if you had a battery operated stereo. 
You did, actually, and thought Steve might appreciate something playing over the harsh sound of the blizzard going on outside…even if it was just disco music. 
It actually amused Steve, as he poked at the growing fire, and then started to busy himself with setting up the blankets and pillows you had thrown on the floor more comfortably, when he suddenly heard music from behind him. 
“So we don’t have to listen to this blizzard threatening to blow my house across the country,” you said with a giggle as you walk toward him, already feeling the warmth of the crackling fire. Steve grinned, and told you it was a good idea and you settled onto the floor beside him, holding out a wine glass to him. 
“Is this the same one I got you on New Years, or is it a whole new one?” Steve asked you as he took the wine from you, determined to be the one to pour it like the gentleman he was. 
“It’s the same one,” you said, holding out your own glass and watching him pour the dark liquid in it, “I didn’t have time to drink it…and if I did, we would’ve even had any because I wouldn’t have had time to get another anyway…” 
“Well, thank goodness for a busy schedule,” Steve joked as he finished pouring some into his own glass and he lifted it toward you, “Cheers.” 
You clink your glass with his with a soft laugh before you settled into the nest of pillows and blankets and begin sipping your wine. The house warmed up gradually, or at least in the living room where you sat, and the wine, even after a couple of sips, was doing its job as well. You felt a warm heat settle in you caused by the alcohol, and was growing more content with the situation you found yourself in with Steve. 
Plus, the fire was pleasant to just stare at him, the wood crackling and embers glowing. 
After another minute of silence, Steve turned to you and said almost jokingly, “So…I’m gonna be here for a while. Plenty of time for us to exchange our life story, actually.”
He laughed softly after and so did you, but then another silence fell before the both of you.
As Steve sat there, thinking about how to follow up with that, he suddenly thought of your question from earlier in Scoops Ahoy, and while he really didn’t mind you asking, he did wonder why you asked anyway. So, he brought it up again and that dread crossed your face was apparent. 
He thought it was cute though, seeing you distressed about it when you didn’t need to be and said, “I just wanna know. Did someone say anything because this town talks.”
You turned to him, leaning your elbow on the couch you were leaning on and told him that Heidi had brought it up, which didn’t surprise him.
“I was just curious,” you said lamely, “We were talking about you, and then it just came up about her leaving or something.”
Steve was about to sip his wine but stopped midway, ears almost perking like a dog’s reaction to the sound of a crinkling bag when he heard you and Heidi were talking about him. 
“You were talking about me?” He asked, adding a teasing element to his voice. You looked at him, and scoffed slightly, seeing him grin slyly at you even in the dim lighting from the fire.
You were going to lie to him, say that he was brought up in conversation because of Cassie or some school event, but something suddenly compelled you to tell the truth of the contents of the conversation before the New Year’s party, before you kissed him and he almost kissed you again. You brought your wine up to your lips, downing most of it in order to muster up whatever courage you could.
Steve was already holding the wine bottle out in order to refill your glass. You held it out to him as you spoke.
“Well, she was just saying that you’ve never spent so much time with another woman since Cassie’s mom,” you said, keeping your eyes on Steve to observe his reaction, “She seems to think that it’s because you like me…”
Saying it outloud had you inwardly cringing, as you felt like a teenager again trying to tell her crush that she likes him and hopes he likes her too. These feelings had a way of bringing that out, so much that you just kept talking.
“I keep telling her we’re just friends though,” you added quickly when he was done pouring wine, “But you probably know how she is…” 
As you continued to talk, finding excuses for what you’d just said, Steve could only watch you, drinking his own glass of wine, slightly amused by your rambling. 
“But that’s a lie because she did tell me that you had seen someone else, I don’t know her name but-”
“Brenda?” Steve said, and the sound of him speaking and you froze, realizing you had started to ramble and immediately shrunk in your spot as you forced yourself to meet his eyes and shrugged weakly. He sipped the rest of his wine, then went to pour more in his own glass, “God, this town probably knows more about my life than I do.” 
He laughed weakly, and you sighed. 
“I don’t purposely go around asking about you, by the way, I like to learn whatever it is about you with you, like now,” you said nervously, and Steve half-smiled at that. 
“Even if you did, I can't blame you, I don’t really talk about that part of my life because…well I’m more concerned with Cassie,” he said, then coughed slightly, “But uh- what else did she tell you?” 
You blinked softly, then said, half-lying to yourself, “For the record I don’t take her words to heart…but she said that…well you never did things with Brenda that you do with me.” 
Steve was very quickly reminded by Robin’s words the first night was back in Hawkins for a visit. She was right, Steve thought, Steve doesn’t just let people in his life. He doesn’t just invite anyone to Thanksgiving, and now New Years , go apple-picking with anyone who isn’t his daughter, and or suggest going ice skating when he knew he wasn’t very good at it. He doesn’t do these things, not since…well Robin had brought that up too . 
“It’s silly, I try not to think too much about it because-” 
“She’s right,” Steve suddenly said, and stared at the flames of the fire for a moment before he continued to say, “I didn’t do any of that with her…I haven’t done a lot of things with anyone since Cassie’s mom…until now that is.” 
It was a big step for him to even say anything, feeling slightly nervous, and you tilted your head gently. He pressed his lips together before chuckling breathlessly, hating that the thought of her mom in this context still bugged him so bad. 
But he did say you both would have time to share each other’s life stories, even though it was jokingly. He sipped his wine again, then licked his lips nervously before he said, “I was just not comfortable letting anyone into Cassie’s life, and she had told me she understood and would be okay with it…but I guess she changed her mind and forgot to let me know.” 
“So it just didn’t work out,” you said, and he nodded. 
“Yeah, and it made feel terrible, and stupid honestly, but…Cassie’s my number one priority, and always will be…after what happened with her mom…I have a hard time with you know, romance ,” he laughed bitterly at the end of his sentence, and it made you frown as you could tell it wasn’t out of amusement. 
“Did you love her?” 
It seemed only natural to the conversation for you to ask.
“Did I love Brenda? No,” he said, then felt bad how easily he said it, “God that sounds so bad...it just wasn’t really a loss like Cassie’s mom had been. Only disappointing.”
You pressed your lips together gently, then said, “So you loved Cassie’s mom.”
Steve paused. He never really thought of her in that aspect anymore, as he struggled to admit he had any romantic feelings toward her because of the frustration of her just leaving Cassie. But he did love her, he couldn’t change that…
“We were never… together though, always just friends, and when she came back to Hawkins a year after we graduated and worked together at the Video Store…we decided to hook up. It was one night, and then…she was pregnant,” Steve told this without warning really, but you were intrigued by the story you wouldn’t admit that you wanted to hear. You’d rather it from him, then anyone else to know what happened. 
“So… yeah I did love her, at least after, I mean, she was pregnant with our child you know? Totally unplanned, and I wasn’t about to just leave her, so I stayed and then I fell in love…but I guess I was the only one...to fall in love and to stay.”
He downed the rest of his coffee, and you took a sip of yours. 
“That’s… a lot ,” you said truthfully, not knowing what else to even say. Steve nodded. 
“Yeah, yeah you’re telling me,” he said, placing his mug down for the last time, “What about you? Have any tragic love stories?” He was attempting to lighten the mood after his short rant, and you could only shake your head. 
“Like that one? No , I’ve never had the time,” you said, which was something Steve could relate to, “I was really into my studies, always to myself, I barely even had friends …then you know, my dad got sick, so I stopped my life to be with him at the end of his...and now here I am.” 
You gestured around the room, and Steve shook his head as if he were in disbelief, “Really? Is it just me, the single dad in the room, who has a tragic love story?”
You laughed and shrugged, and he said, “Yeah…it’s rough , but…at least I have Cassie…and well… you .” 
He was taking a risk saying that to you, knowing he meant more than just as a friend. You found yourself smiling weakly at that, the heat of the room and alcohol intermixing with the normal warmth Steve always made you feel.
You sipped your wine slowly then, and you asked him if he could tell you what happened with Cassie’s mom. Steve looked torn by the question, eyes falling to the wine as he swirled it nervously and let out a breath. 
“I still don’t know the answer to that,” Steve said bitterly, then shook his head, “For a while, we just co-parented you know, then one day she dropped Cassie off and just…never came back.”
You looked saddened by his words, and Steve took another long sip of his wine, finishing his second glass. You grabbed the bottle, pouring some more in your glass before holding it out for Steve. He held his glass out, thanking you quietly. He hated talking about this, but maybe it was time he did. 
“Did you ever find her?” 
Steve shook his head, laughing bitterly at that. 
“Nope, and I tried. I really did, but…she just vanished off the face of earth.” 
You kept your gaze on the side of Steve’s face, even as you sipped your wine. You could barely see him in the dim lighting of the fire that was still ablaze in your fireplace beside the both of you. Steve sighed, rotating his wine glass again before he started to speak again.
“I was so fucking mad,” he admitted,  “Not because I had to take care of Cassie myself, no I could handle that, I was practically doing it already, it was just…you know… Cassie . She didn’t understand that her mom just left her.”
The memories of those days that followed flooded through his mind, memories that still made Steve mad. Cassie was so young, too young, and he remembered how every morning she would sit in the living room by the window just waiting for her mom to show up. He kept looking for her during those days, calling around, even actively going out , but her trailer was practically abandoned, everything left behind but all her clothes, the same suitcase she used when she stayed with Steve and his parents during the last month of her pregnancy, and her car. She just dropped Cassie off and left, and it was planned. 
He didn’t realize his fists were clenching, and his body was becoming tense. You did though, frowning softly as you reached over to touch his shoulder. Steve turned his head a bit, feeling your touch bringing him back to reality. 
“I remember her just waiting by the window for her to just show up, then just watching her give up …” he continued, now looking at you, “And…to be honest, I’m so fucking scared what that is going to do to her. Right now she is okay, she is happy , but what happens when she gets older and when she asks me what happened to mom? And I have to tell her that her own mom abandoned her? And it’s suddenly a concept she fully grasps? What the hell am I going to do?”
He was asking you, even though he knew it wasn’t fair to. Cassie wasn’t your responsibility, but as the months turn into years the question has just been gnawing at him everytime he looked at his little girl, remembering her little face of defeat when she started to realize her mom wasn’t going to come back to her. When she stopped sitting by that window.
It broke his heart, and he wished somehow that he could’ve shielded her from it all. 
“It’s…not really the same thing, but…” 
You actually speaking made Steve’s eyes flicker back to yours. 
“I mean, I was also the daughter of a single dad, as you know,” you started, “My mom passed away when I had barely turned 5. Her funeral is one of the first things I remember, but even then it’s a little fuzzy. I barely remember her actually or even how she looked aside from a few pictures we had, but my dad never put any of them up again when we moved. She didn’t abandon me, not like Cassie’s mom, but as a kid who barely understood death it kind of felt like it.” 
You shifted in your spot, eyes looking at the fire now and it was Steve’s turn to stare at you. 
“My dad was always gone too, always working, and I never really had a constant person beside him in my life and even then, he wasn’t really constant. He had to work, you know, keep him and his daughter fed. We had our special moments though,” you smiled to yourself, though it was sad he worked so much you still cherished when you’d go out to a burger joint sometimes, when he saved up to buy you your first pair of roller skates, almost enough to make you overlook the years you spent by yourself. 
“There were some, like my fifth grade teacher I mentioned, you probably don’t even remember,” you laughed, but Steve shook his head.
“No I do, you brought her up when we were baking,” Steve said, and you felt a bit flushed that he remembered something as small as that, but promptly blamed it on the alcohol sloshing through you and making you warmer than usual. 
“Yeah, she was there for a bit, but then we moved- for the last time thankfully- to the city where there was more work for him,” you continued, “And…I was alone again. I did fun stuff, it’s where I was first introduced to disco…” You lifted your hand, gesturing to the boombox that had been playing the occasional 70s disco hit in the background of your conversation.
Steve smiled at that, disco suddenly taking a place in his heart in a way he never expected it to. 
“But I was alone , and a lot of the time I resented my mom, my dad too because at times it felt like they both left me,” you said, “I didn’t have anybody but myself, and…it certainly affects me even to this day.” 
You took a break to take a sip of your wine, in fact, you were chugging it and Steve just watched you. Despite Steve getting to know you, he knew what you meant. Every snippet of your life, from how you reacted to dinner with the Henderson’s in November, he could see how it does, and he understands it too in a way. It was easy to feel like your own isolated island. 
You set your glass down after downing it and turned to Steve, “Anyway, my point is, I was alone, you know? And Cassie…well it’s going to happen, she’s going to wonder why her mom left her and it will hurt, but…she’s not going to be alone. She has so much support from Robin, Dustin, Claudia, those abundance of kids who absolutely adore her, she just has so much love , but more importantly…she has a great dad.” 
Steve’s heart swelled in his chest by your words, so much that he felt like he was feeling it in his throat. He swallowed thickly, cheeks becoming flushed. You smiled at him, eyes looking quite foggy from the amount of wine you’ve both consumed.  
“I know I’ve barely got here, but…Steve, you’re such a good guy,” you were saying now, expression turning serious, “I can see why everyone is so obsessed with you here, and it’s not just because of your good looks…that’s just an added bonus. You’re a good guy.” 
He smiled at that, and you sighed softly, turning your body toward Steve and reached with the hand that wasn’t holding your wine glass to gently grasp the back of his head. Steve was a little disoriented by this, but his vision cleared when he saw you were at eye level with him. He grew still, just staring back at you breathlessly.
“Cassie is going to be okay because she has you .” 
It felt like something clicked into place when you uttered those words to Steve. He opened his lips, wanting to say something, but not knowing what. His mind picked up on the music that was playing, the soft, funky beat of the Bee Gees “How Deep is Your Love” flowed through the boombox’s speakers, traveling through the room and reaching Steve. 
He was gazing back at you, the fire illuminating half of your face and intensifying your gaze. It was warm in here now, from the fire, the wine, from you . His breath hitched, feeling that electricity again, except it was stronger, more intense and Steve couldn’t ignore it any longer. 
Then you come to me in a summer breeze…keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave…
“I wish I met you sooner,” he suddenly said, and you gently nipped your bottom lip and said, “Me too.”
Perhaps it was the wine he was drunk off of, or perhaps it was you he’s become drunk off of - it didn’t matter. He parted his lips, gently licking them before his eyes flickered down to your lips. He couldn’t take it anymore, and when he met your gaze again, and saw the tender way you were looking at him, he couldn’t stop himself, not like he could at Thanksgiving, not like he could everytime after that. He wanted to kiss you, he needed to.
He started to lean in slowly, up until his nose gently nudged yours. You did not stop him, in fact, you were guiding him toward you, inviting him to kiss you. He let out a hot breath, realizing that you wanted this too, even though it was silly to think for a moment that you didn’t, and he closed the space in between your lips like you had done in the Wheeler’s kitchen, laying his mouth on yours softly and sweetly. 
Your lips fell together in a tender kiss, and your hand on Steve’s head drew him closer to you. You dropped the empty wine glass you held, landing safely onto the pillows and blankets still gathered around you, and he felt this hand rest on his cheek.
You were warm, so very warm , and his head became dizzy and he too had dropped his wine glass. Except his glass still had wine in it. The glass tipped to the side, its contents spilling and staining one of the pillows and the carpet that peaked out between the pillows it had fallen on. 
Neither of you noticed, and if you did, you wouldn’t have cared anyway. 
His hands were on your waist now, pulling you toward him without parting his lips from yours, and you let him lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. Soon, you were straddling him, your legs sitting on either side of his and you finally pulled away. 
“ Steve ,” you said his name, voice breathless and tainted with wine just like Steve’s was. His hands rested on the expand of your thighs, brown eyes shining as he looked up at you. 
“Is this okay?” he asked you, voice low and an octave lower, “I can stop…we can stop.” 
You moved your hands to his hair, leaning forward to press your forehead against his, being able to see him better than he can see you. The light of the fire behind you now, the only light being from the small candles placed on various parts of your home, but he could feel your face against his, and he could feel you nod .
Like your lips were a magnet, he was kissing you again, combining your breath together as he consumed your lips with his with an intensity that had you falling against him and letting his kiss lure you into a state of mind that was just him . 
He kissed you, and he kept kissing you, tongue sliding between your wet, parted lips and licking into your mouth softly and almost sloppily. His hands started to move on their own accord, one upward toward the small of your back, lifting your shirt ever so slightly.
Your hands had started to wander too, without you realizing it. They were now flat against his chest, feeling the fast beating of his heart against your palm, and the other moved downward, gently grazing his ribs. 
He shuddered against you, eyes flickering open and lips parting from yours. He realized too that his hand had wandered, feeling the heat of your skin against his own hand, and he looked up at you, eyes questioning. You sucked in a soft breath, leaning away from Steve. 
“Sorry,” he said, referring to his hand that was moving up your shirt. You sighed deeply. 
Steve’s eyes had fallen, but when they did they caught the sudden movement of your hands. You were grabbing onto the hem of your shirt, and he snapped his head upward. No words escaped his mouth as he watched you remove your shirt and told him the same thing he told you on New Years… ‘ don’t be.’
“ Fuck ,” Steve said, wishing his eyes would adjust better, and he heard you laugh quietly, as if someone will hear you both, and you grabbed his hands, making them move to your abdomen. 
“Are you okay with this?” you asked him this time, perhaps a little too late, but you weren’t really thinking. 
“How could I not be? You’re so god damn beautiful,” he told you, and you melted into his lap when he did. He chuckled sweetly at you, then leaned up to kiss you again before his hands started to move against you, and he said again, breathlessly, “ God damn …” 
He sounded nervous as he then bit down on his lower lip, feeling your skin tremble underneath his touch. Goosebumps followed where his hands started to move, just over your sides and then upwards until he was touching your breasts. 
You hummed when he did, back arching slightly and he licked his lips, eyes moving from your breasts back up to you. He leaned in, pressing gentle kisses onto the skin of your neck, your collarbone, and lower to the mounds of your breast. 
You threw your head back softly, mouth falling open as the sensation of him kissing you where you were most sensitive. His brown eyes stayed drawn on you, and he drew his lips away to kiss back up your neck and just underneath your chin. 
His hands followed, now on the back of your hair as he brought you forward to crash your lips together in a more fervent kiss, more desperate, and hot. His tongue swirled in your mouth, colliding with yours as he drank you up second by second. 
His arms then were wrapped around you, feeling the slight tremble of your legs and before you knew it, he was leaning away and making you lay down. You fell against the soft blankets beneath you, arms falling over your head and Steve had taken his shirt off as well before he settled on his side next to you. 
His eyes were dark, you could tell that much by the light of the flames, and you reached your hand forward, falling into the temptation to touch his chest that was full of hair. He released a breath through his nose at your touch, smiling as he was amused. It had been a while since he’d been with anyone intimately like this, and when he felt your hand massaging his chest, he remembered how past partners had done the same. It felt sweeter coming from you though, and he placed his hand over yours and leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto your lips before moving your hand away to place a kiss against that to, then place it back over your head. 
He had other ideas, anyway. 
“Is this what you want?” he asked, voice almost a whisper. 
“Is this what you want?” you asked him back, voice a little shaky. He wasn’t ashamed to reply yes , and you stared at him for a long second before nodding, saying yes, me too . 
He smiled softly, eyes drawing over your face and down your body before he brought his hand upward, stopping at your lips. You kissed the fingers there before parting your lips for him, tremors rushing down your body as he pressed his fingers inside of your mouth…
He didn’t ask you again, and neither did you…not when his fingers were buried deep inside of you, making you come undone, not when the rest of your clothes came off, when you kissed each other all over…especially not when you were underneath him, his hips thrusting at a languid, sensual pace, his length pumping in and out of you.
The fire was dying beside you, but you didn’t need it anymore. You and Steve were keeping each other warm. 
You were caged in underneath him, seeing nothing but Steve gazing lovingly at you from above. His chest hair rubbed against your own chest, creating a delicious friction with every thrust of his hips that filled you up. 
Your hand dragged across his back, your nails scratching his shoulder blades, making pleasurable chills run up and down his back. His mouth was hovering just above yours, parted and releasing soft grunts and pants that intertwined with your own. Then, he was leaning down, lips only grazing yours as his tongue touched yours as his hips moved faster. He grunted, moving away as he did so.
Your back arched upwards, breasts pressing against his chest tightly and moaned his name out softly. He looked back down at you, smiling almost lazily. He pressed his lips against your cheek, before resting his head on your forehead, keeping his brown, hazy eyes open and on you. 
You tensed up underneath him, heart thumping out of your chest and lips releasing a cracked moan of his name as pleasurable heat washed over you for the second time that night. Steve kissed you, riding you through it, and whispered sweet nothing against your lips as he too came undone.
✧ ✧ ✧
It was warm when you woke up, your body cocooned in the thick covers you brought in the living room the night before. You were immediately met with an ache that buzzed over your entire body, but it was not unwelcome. It was a reminder of what just happened the night before, of the night you spent with Steve. 
Your eyes fluttered open then, adjusting as you stared up at the ceiling of your living room. Heat encompassed over you at the thought of last night, at the thought of Steve, and you looked next to you, expecting to see him, wanting to see him, but the space next to you was empty. You frowned then, starting to sit up when you heard movement in your kitchen. 
You sat up completely, turning your head and peering into the kitchen, only to see that man you were expecting to see laying in the pile of blankets next to you standing in front of your stove, his hair sticking it various directions and only wearing his boxers and an apron. 
It was a sight that took your breath away, especially when you could make out the marks that were left on his neck by you .
Then, you smelled the killer breakfast he was making. Eggs, bacon…was he making pancakes ? That made your stomach suddenly growl, and as if Steve had heard that, he was turning his head and meeting your eyes. 
“Good morning,” Steve called to you, his lips pulled upward in a sweet smile. A smile was brought to your face, cheeks feeling even warmer as he said, “Hungry?” 
You started to move to stand, tearing your eyes from Steve as you searched for an article of clothing to put on, only for your eyes to land on the stain left on your carpet. 
“Oh…oh damn ,” you said, “When did that happen?” 
Steve placed the bacon he’d just finished cooking onto a plate when he turned to see what you were talking about, and instantly he cringed when he saw you staring at the wine stain. His memory of the night wasn’t that hazy, but he could not recall how the spill even happened. It was a little lighter though, considering he spent a good 20 minutes after waking up trying to clean it. 
“I really tried to clean it,” Steve told you, wiping his hands with a paper towel. 
You could only laugh, turning and looking up at Steve as he came into the living room.
“It must’ve happened…well… yeah ,” you said, purposely not saying when you guys started kissing, and you turned your head to see Steve holding your sweater out to you, a smile on lips, and cheeks dusted pink. 
“ Yeah , I figured,” he said, understanding what you meant. You thanked him quietly as you took the sweater and he turned away, back toward the kitchen as he told you that he hoped you didn’t mind him making a big breakfast like this. 
You put your sweater on, then found your undergarments and placed those on too. The hem of your sweater stopped just below your thighs, and you finally moved to stand as you said, “No, no I don’t mind at all…”
Steve was holding two plates now, flashing you another sweet grin before setting them down on the small dining room table you had in the kitchen. You noticed even coffee was made, steam rising from the mug and as you got closer, you noticed that he had even prepared it the way you did. He must’ve watched you make yours the night before…
You sat down in the chair, right in front of the plate and coffee and when you saw the fluffy pancakes, you sighed with delight, “God, I fucking love pancakes…” You took the syrup from the middle of the table.
Steve laughed at this, taking the seat across from you. He had discarded the apron, choosing to just be shirtless which you mildly appreciated as the pancakes had consumed your hungry self entirely. 
“I remembered you told me that,” he told you as he took the syrup you were holding out for him. You paused as you sliced a part of the pancake with your fork, and glanced at him. He was looking at you, still smiling, and he said, “Go on and taste it. I wasn’t lying when I said I make good pancakes.” 
You did as told, Steve watching you intently for a reaction, and you hummed, and nodded as you chewed. They were the fluffiest, perhaps most perfect pancakes you’ve ever had. Steve had not been lying that day in the grocery store back in Fall, and had you already not been in love with the guy, this would’ve been the dealbreaker. 
“It’s delicious ,” you said finally, but you didn’t need to tell Steve that. He was already smirking smugly as he said, “I know” before taking a bite of his own pancake. 
You ate the rest of your breakfast pretty quickly, as it seemed your previous nightly activity drained all of your energy and finally, as you both washed the dishes, you asked him if the blizzard cleared out. 
“Yes,” he replied, then quickly added, “Streets aren’t clear still…so I think I’m gonna have to stick around for a bit longer.” 
Steve was looking at you a certain way, brown eyes telling you something he didn’t dare want to say out loud. Your heart flipped in your chest, then warmth that would turn into heat flooded you all over. Neither of you had said anything upfront about your night together, like you were avoiding it, but he wanted to stay …and without checking if he was lying about the streets not being cleared yet, you were more than happy to let him stay.
You spent the rest of the morning in your bedroom, tangled into the sheets with Steve. There were no excuses now, as the wine could’ve been blamed for the night prior. The only thing that was making your mind hazy was Steve himself, and the feeling of his hair between your fingertips as your back arched and you moaned his name…
✧ ✧ ✧
Steve was staring at the ceiling of your bedroom, one arm wrapped around you and the other folded and resting underneath his head. He liked this, he liked the way you felt in his arms, your bodies pressed tightly together, legs tangled together underneath your blankets. 
It had been almost 15 minutes since holding you like this, just laying together in silence and he liked that too. 
You shifted in your spot gently, untangling your legs from Steve’s in order to stretch them and he looked down at you as you decided to move away from him completely, saying,  “I’m gonna turn the heater off for a bit.” 
Steve nodded, as you removed yourself from the bed, holding one of your loose sheets around you. He watched you go, heart fluttering in his chest as you flashed him a sweet grin before turning and disappearing into your hallway. 
He sighed, smiling to himself as he moved to sit up and then run his hands through his now slightly greasy hair. There was a mirror on the dresser to his left, so he could see just how messy his face was, but he could also see the fresh marks you left on parts of his neck and chest. Right next to the ones from last night. He even touched them, feeling his stomach flood with heat, wondering if either of you could go another round because after all it had been quite a while and you just made Steve absolutely insatiable that he didn’t even want to leave after breakfast.
You had come back, holding a pile of clothes in your arms. It was the clothes Steve had discarded in the living room the night before and just never put back on. 
“Here,” you said cheekily as you placed them on the bed then went to the dresser. Steve took that moment to reach out and grab you. You gasped softly as he did, and he was grinning widely at you as he pulled you onto his lap. 
“Hi,” Steve told you, hands sprawled out on your bare thighs, gently squeezing the flesh there.
“ Hey ,” you replied breathlessly, moving your hands toward his hair as if it were second nature by now. He sighed through his nose and leaned up to kiss you again, and already, again , you were putty in his lap. You weren’t sure if you were ever going to get enough of Steve Harrington, especially now that you’ve gotten an actual taste of him. 
God, it was so easy to fall in love with him and you weren’t sure you’d ever want to be with anyone but him.
It was that thought that had you pausing, and Steve had felt you suddenly go still against him. He opened his eyes and leaned away to give you a curious look before asking what was wrong. You swallowed thickly, leaning away from him as well, but not leaving his lap. 
“Steve I…what…what is this?” you asked. He blinked gently, and you could see his eyes grow thoughtful before he peered back up at you. He was going to say something, but for some reason you were suddenly scared he was going to say it was a one time thing (thought one time turned into a few times that your sheets were gonna smell like him for a while), so you said, “I’m not expecting anything…we were pretty drunk last night…” 
Steve stared at you, before he licked his lips and said, “We weren’t drunk this morning…” 
The dread in your stomach gently faded at that, and you replied, “I don’t know…those pancakes were so good they did something to me.”
He laughed at that, and his laugh made you laugh as well and he kept his gaze on you the entire time, as if he loved watching you laugh and smile. You pressed your lips together in a smile, and he said, “I don’t…I don’t want it to be a one time thing, if that’s what you’re asking.” 
His expression had grown serious, and his hands that were squeezing the flesh of your thighs turned into gentle rubs, as if he was nervous. 
“ I like you ,” he said, though his voice sounded a little forced, because he didn’t want to use the word ‘like’ because his feelings for you were more than that, though you didn’t know that. You would take what you could though, and force yourself to use the same word as well, even though it was quite clear to you that you were completely in love with him. 
“So…what now then?” you asked softly. 
He sucked in a breath. The truth was, Steve didn’t know, well he did know, but he still wasn’t sure about it because he had suddenly thought of his daughter. The thought of Cassie made Steve frown, and a weird feeling crossed his chest that made him doubt the decision he was about to make. Steve wanted to be with you, but his stupid mind had started to talk him out of it, telling him he wasn’t going to work , you didn’t deserve his flaky nature, or to wait on him when he was too busy for you…he didn’t want to do that to you, just like he had told Robin the first night she came back to Hawkins. 
But then he also thought about the other thing Robin had told him…he’d be crazy if he didn’t at least try .
Alas, it was the thought of Cassie that halted any decision making on Steve’s part, as he realized that he was supposed to pick her up almost an hour ago, which was not helping the case in his mind. He forgot his own damn daughter, not that Delilah’s mother minds, nor does Cassie and Dee herself, but he still felt horrible. 
“Shit, I’m sorry, I have to go, ” Steve told you, failing to realize before he said it that he didn’t answer your question as he gently moved you off of him.
 Your heart had fallen down to your stomach, and Steve caught the expression on your face as he pulled on his boxers, and was grabbing his jeans. It was one of heartbreak, and it tore him inside to see it. It made him pause with his jeans halfway on, and he opened his mouth but nothing came out as he felt ridiculous with his jeans only up to his knees, so he pulled it on and buttoned it before walking toward you. 
“No! No, that- that wasn’t my answer,” he told you, fear in his voice that he messed up. 
“Steve, it’s okay-” you tried to say, but he reached over to gently touch your cheek and kiss you without really thinking. You went still as his lips pressed gently against yours, and he leaned with a soft sigh. 
“I’m late to pick Cassie up, that’s all,” he assured, his hand still on your suddenly very hot cheek, “I just…I want to talk again, okay?” 
“Okay,” you said, because you were at a loss of words of what his sudden kiss meant and didn’t know what else to say. Steve seemed content with that and nodded, before he gently swiped his thumb under your eye and told you earnestly, “I’ll call you.” 
Now you could only nod, and he returned that nod before grabbing his shirt and putting it on. You could only sit on the bed, the sheet still the only thing covering your bare body, and you watched him quickly put his shirt on, inside out but you doubt he cared as his concern was forgetting to pick his daughter up. 
He did spare you one last glance and small good-bye though before he was rushing out of your room and down the hall, where you could hear him cursing as he put his shoes on before you heard him open the door to your garage. 
When you could no longer hear him in your house, you suddenly felt very cold without him there, and you hugged the sheet around you tighter, already missing him and the warmth he always brought you. 
And you waited for that call, standing idly by the phone whenever you were home, keeping your stereo off even as you eventually scrubbed away at the wine stain on your carpet that would just not come out. When you folded all the blankets, washed the wine glasses, and tossed the empty one in the trash. It was pushed to the back of your mind for about an hour, when you called a towing company to get your car from Starcourt, and take it to the mechanic in Downtown Hawkins. When you got home though, it was night time, and you waited.
You waited for it, even the following day, and the day after that…you would even find yourself gazing at the door, wondering if he was going to walk through those doors, apologizing for not calling because he’d rather see you instead. 
But he didn’t. Steve was never the one to walk through the office doors in the days following the night and morning you spent together, was never the one on the other side of the line if your phone did happen to ring. You told yourself that you weren’t hurt, trying to convince yourself that when you said you weren’t expecting anything you were telling the truth. 
You fell in love with Steve Harrington, and then…well, you were sure that if he didn’t call or make the effort to see and speak to you even after everything he told you before he left your house in such a rush to pick Cassie up…then it must be his way of saying that nothing, nothing was to come from what happened between the two of you. 
He was busy, you knew that, he told you relationships weren’t his forte from the beginning, everyone did, and yet, he was so easy to like, even easier to fall in love with that you didn’t stand a chance. Still, your heart couldn’t try and rationalize his actions like your brain, and you were completely and utterly heartbroken. 
And then, you wondered just what the hell was Steve freaking Harrington’s reason for all this.
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fullmetalgirl98 · 3 months
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30 days Hypnosis Mic challenge
DAY 3: favorite song of your favorite division
🎤 「Stella」
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(link)
I apologize in advance, but I'm going to blather a lot about this.
This song is really special to me because it reminds me of a particular time in my life, specifically of a winter ... the one of the lockdown.
I remember that the first time I listened to Stella, the first thing which caught me out of guard was the music and the very peculiar vibe. Both had a strange effect on me, conveying a feeling of immensity as well as being perfectly capable of making me imagine that I was scattered in a galaxy, although at that first listen I had no idea what the song was about, and the title had me more imagining something to do with idols (lol, no).
I can't quite explain this, but I remember that I literally freezed when the piano started playing and a sense of powerful nostalgia immediately hit me hard. Because. Wtf was THAT???? I didn't expected such a vibe??? (gradually my mind started to create a connection with my childhood memories of Dragon Ball GT (LOL)).
And then, the narration started.
I understood little to no Japanese at the time, so I couldn't have even remotely grasped any words that might provide me with a start on the content of the song, but as soon as Dice's rap started, I immediately screamed WOOOOHH??! What is this stuff??? SO COOL, OMG???
And then Gentaro.
There, gentlemen, Gentaro's part was something exceptional to hear for the first time. The atmosphere between his first stanza and the second one is COMPLETELY different and the way he closes with the last verse, "ore mo ubai satte kure MESSAIAAAH〜"
KYAAAHHHHH!!! SO SEXY?!?!? SO FU****G HOT.
Then Ramuda's part, with that mechanical tone and that way of breaking sentences and words that is extraordinarily difficult to follow ...
So here's the chorus ... and that single chord on the word "starlight", with that change in tone that gave me a sense of immensity (???), that kidnapped my heart.
The second part of the song, in which a real dialogue between the members begins, intrigued me even more because there I could pick up on something, actually, and I wanted to understand why the hell DICE had such a serious tone in this damn (affectionate) song. It was so strange, for him!!!
In conclusion, at the end of listening, I pounced to look for a translation.
And my world changed.
I came to know that this song was plotted as a Gentaro's story (and that alone, to me, is simply brilliant) about a bandit, a king and a scientist whose respective planets are in ruins, for one reason or another. But they all find themselves gazing at the same falling star and thus begins a journey through the galaxy, which will see member after member recruited on this journey, tearing each of them out of their ruined reality...Until the scientist, the hardest to convince. But the words and support of the other two will be able to bring him, too, out of the dark into the light...and make him too take part in that wonderful journey.
We can understand this as a metaphor for the Fling Posse and the relationship that subsists between them:
The shooting star represents them as a group, their union;
The journey could represent the inner discovery that the three of them are taking together, to get to know each other better and trust each other, to the point of creating a true and indissoluble bond;
The scientist, who doesn't trust others and sees no meaning into joining them, is clearly the Ramuda of the past who, thanks to Gentaro and Dice, gradually learns to want to live and to truly trust his companions;
Also, funny to see how the role of the king was assigned to Dice, considering that he's the son of the governor, in the Hypmic universe.
Well. Wow.
Wonderful.
My heart is yours, Fling Posse.
So, Stella was THE song by Fling Posse that made me reach the concrete certainty that they, from that moment on, would have to be my favorite division, without any doubt. It's a song that had a very special effect on me from the very first listen. I can't quite describe what it feels like, as I hear it. It may also be the fact that I particularly love anything that has to do with the universe and galaxies, so I would say that the vibe described is perfect for me lol.
It's a song that I can't skip when it starts playing and it gets me every time. It's not for nothing that my level of obsession is such that I made a journal spread (link) and a mini MV (link).
Check them out, if you're curious! ^^
[Side note: today's Ramuda's birthday...so happy birthday with this?!]
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darrowsrising · 7 months
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this is going to be rather chaotic so accept my apologies in advance but tonight I dreamt the gala scene of golden son with the circus by britney spears as the soundtrack, with “when I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip just like a circus” in the moment of the big reveal during the duel. while this is kind of wild and random (and iconic) I though that dance and music was a big part of darrow life as a red , like during the carving he got that instrument as a gift to feel better, and as far as i remember he never got into that with all that happened after. i don’t remember if in IG or DA there was somthing said on the matter, but if not do you think we will see him play music again?
second part is not really a question but i would love to hear your thoughts on it, especially if you will start the reread. when darrow learned gold moves, there was the parallel between dance and fight and the fact that gold danced/dueled in pair and of all colors only reds danced alone because that’s how one is in life. i loved how it was presented as a strength but over the course of the story darrow realised he was not alone and the main fight in the end was them fighting in group, like a wolf pack. i’ve never seen anyone talk about this so i’m curious of your take on this
Finally got around to answering this one, thank you for the long wait.
The instrument is called a zither, if I remember correctly and according to google, it looks like this:
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I don't actually know if Darrow will ever play it again. He seems to value dancing, then singing and then making music in this specific order. Which is perfectly alright. He might do all of them in Red God, but maybe not. At this point I am just happy he solved some of the traumas he has (and gave me others lol, I love him so much).
As for Polemides - Child of War Dance - it resembles the Reaping Song, but it has a baton included instead of a slingBlade, I think. It does not mention if this dance must be executed in pairs, as Darrow performs it alone for Matteo.
However, Darrow is told Golds dance in pairs, while Reds are the only ones dancing alone. Weird, as Eo and Darrow dance as a pair for the Laurel celebration. Perhaps it just depends.
I think Darrow has finally learnt to rely on others in Morning Star and share the burden, though he still needs practice at times. It was hard on him to do so, because he felt guilty about dragging his friends in this war while deceiving them. Once they chose to follow him, he still had a hard time being reliant on them at times. We can discuss more about it for the tetralogy, but it would leave a bitter taste. Point is, it's good that Darrow found a new strength within himself and a bit more self-preservation so he can still rely on himself and delegate at the same time.
What I think works wonderfully and Pierce owrs it to us at this point is that Golds dance in pairs. And Darrow and Virginia are a very particular pair, a pair of opposites that just work together perfectly. They sort of exchanged roles in Light Bringer and it was supremely interesting (the editorial team can suck it) and I think an expansion and a reunion are LONG overdue. Basically, they should dance. And fuck. A lot.
Thank you again for your ask. I will keep an eye out for textual bits in my next re-read.
Howl on.
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Today's Musings...
TOPIC: Destiny & Deliverance Playlist
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Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC
I think music is pretty essential while I'm writing. It helps evoke emotions that I'm trying to tap into for the characters. Since I've been working on Destiny & Deliverance, there are some songs, artist, & albums that I keep coming back to, so I decided to make a playlist to share. This is probably going to show my age and love of 90's music, so I apologize in advance. 🤣
The list probably seems a little random and unhinged when you glance down through the eclectic mix of artists and genres. However, when you think of it from different characters points of view in certain moments of the story, it somehow works. The lyrics and the vibe hit the right chords so to speak. So, with that said, be open. Ignore who it is or the style of music and focus on the words and the emotions it evokes. By doing that, I think it will put you in the mindset of our characters.
I didn't put the songs in any particular order. I think a lot of them could apply at multiple points in the story. I may continue to update the list while I write and discover new songs that hit the mark. If you give it a listen, please don't hesitate to share your thoughts and feelings about the songs. What songs hit you the most? Which ones do you think define Talia and Dieter? Do you feel like there is any foreshadowing? I always love hearing everyone's feedback on the extras. 💜
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Tag List: @rhoorl, @bitchwitch1981, @readingiskeepingmegoing, @runningmom94, @for-a-longlongtime, @hisandsnakes, @chaoticfestninja, @survivingandenduring, @partyofone3413
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ashes-writing · 2 years
Text
beautiful | stranger things; j.byers
A/N; Okay, so this started off as kind of following along with the Poison song Fallen Angel, but then it went in an entirely different direction. This one's got a lot of awkward fluff, a little angst and just like.. I decided to leave it where it ended because idk yet if I'll revisit these two like I've done with Steve and his reader or I plan to at some point with Eddie and the new girl reader... I guess we'll just have to see. I wanna throw this out there before I do warnings. There are heavy mentions of reader having a self - esteem issue, maybe even several. It felt a little... Personal for me because to an extent, it's an on-going struggle of mine. So, apologies in advance if the reader is a little more heavily flawed this time around and not quite so vague. And if you struggle with some of the stuff in here, just remember you are beautiful, okay? This is basically just me, using a comfort character of mine to kinda.. comfort people, so if this even resonates a little or helps anybody feel better, I've done what I set out to.
Tag List ; @rampagewriting -- feel free to ignore this bb! There's nobody on my actual stranger things tag list, if you want to be, please click the link below or tell me and I'll add you.
Pairing ; Jonathan Byers x Insecure!Popular!fem reader
Timeline / other stuff ; probably pre season 2. Nancy is mentioned and so is the camera smashing incident.
Warnings ; high mention of self esteem issues , lots of awkward cute little moments. Reader caution - am not glorifying the issues mentioned within, they just happen to be a struggle of my own to an extent. I tried my best to be a bit more vague so as not to set anybody off or trigger anything in anybody reading this. Kissing, because yeah. This is just meant to be sweet and awkwardly fluffy.
Other Stuff ; tag list doc || rules - the fandoms and some of the characters I write for || requests - open; headcanons / nsfw or fluffy alphabet letters for any and all fandoms/characters excluding pro wrestling.
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The slow creak of his bedroom door opening had Jonathan Byers pausing. The door creaked open just a little more. Laughter bubbled in from the Byers kitchen and eventually, the bed creaked as his little brother Will sat down on the edge, a quiet laugh from the solemn boy finally leading to Jonathan as he looked up from the open textbooks and notebooks spread out in disarray on top of his desk.
“What’s goin’ on?”
“You have a visitor.” Will smiled as he said it, laughing as he added to himself in a lower tone, “She’s really funny.”
For a second, Jonathan could feel a slow and lazy grin forming.
That is, he was about to grin until Will quickly spoke up. “Not Nancy.”
Now this, it puzzled Jonathan Byers because outside of Nancy, he talked to maybe a handful of people at school and that was usually out of dire necessity.
So to have someone show up at his house unannounced, on their own free will… That had him more than a little curious. His mother’s rare laughter bubbled into the open door and almost on cue, Joyce Byers called out to him.
“Jon! Jonathan! Hey, sweetie, you have a visitor!”
Out in the Byers kitchen, you sat at the table with Joyce. You’d been talking, as it turns out, your mothers were close friends at one point in time. It led to Joyce spilling the beans on several teenage misadventures that the two had gotten up together which concluded with Joyce asking you a thousand questions about your own current life. How you were doing, if you had any classes with her eldest son at Hawkins High. And the warmth surrounding you currently really begged to wonder… Why hadn’t you ever considered getting to know the taller, quiet boy with dark eyes and a solemn and almost tragic, haunting smile.
You didn’t know much about him at all, to be quite honest. Well, aside from the reason you found yourself at the Byers residence on this particular lazy fall afternoon.
Jonathan finally walks into the room and you blink a little because up close and personal is not something you’ve ever gotten to the boy. He’s tall, shoulders with a bit of slump to them as if he’s trying to disappear or disguise himself somehow. Like he doesn’t want to be seen or noticed at all.
In return, he blinks at the sight of you, completely decked out in Hawkins High cheerleading garb seated at his dining room table. 
Joyce grins to herself softly and clears her throat. “I’ll just leave you two to talk, okay? But you come back, ___. Anytime you want. And tell your mom I said hi!” and with that, Joyce was gone, vanishing down the hallway and into another part of the house.
You were drowning, lost in the dark depths of his eyes. Kicking yourself because you sought him out, the least you could do was speak now that you’d come all the way out here.
He sits down at the kitchen table. Neither of you are speaking and you can’t help but notice that each silent second passed just makes the air thicker, heavier somehow. It’s driving you crazy, this leads to you finally attempting to speak.
Attempt being the key word because Jonathan actually beats you to it. “How’d you uh… I didn’t think anybody knew where I lived.”
When the soft giggle leaves your mouth you want to melt into stained wooden floorboards. This couldn’t get any more awkward if you tried. The better idea would’ve been to just approach him at school but you’d tried that. 
You just never seemed to cross paths. And the one time you could’ve, Nicole kept distracting you and dragging you off to stare at Billy Hargrove while he was practicing down in the gym. Or any number of other distractions, she just always seemed to pop up the second you’d position yourself outside the darkroom doors.
“I,uh..”
He’s staring at you intently. Waiting.
You want to cringe when you say it but finally, the words come. “I followed you. Then I kinda like…” your fidgeting with the green stripe around the sleeve of your Hawkins High cardigan. How is it you can speak, you’re so loud, so bubbly and vibrant literally anywhere else or any other time but right now you feel like a fish out of water? Like you’re totally out of your depths somehow. Like you want to impress him for a change and not the other way around like you’re used to.
“Look, I chickened out, okay?” the words burst out and you cringe just a little as you’re quick to add, “Not because of you, like.. I don’t know why. I just did.”
He snickers to himself quietly.
“Are you thirsty?”
“No,no.. I’m fine.” you shake your head. And then you finally manage to do it, you finally manage to get out your sole reason for coming out to his house.
Only now, having seen the mysterious boy everybody and their mother called weird or a plethora of other pointless and stupid names up close and personal, you’re not entirely sure that the reason you’ve sought him out is actually the only one.
There’s just something about him.
Quiet. Sturdy. Handsome in a dark and slightly rugged sort of way that normally you’re not at all drawn to.
“You’re like… really big into photography, right?”
He gazes at you warily as he sips water he’s gotten himself from the sink. He sits the glass down on the counter he’s stood in front of and as the back of his hand drags across his mouth you literally have to bite your tongue just to keep some sort of unholy noise from escaping your mouth.
,,No.” you think to yourself with a startled pause, ,,I cannot be getting a crush on him.”
But deep down, you know that’s exactly what’s happening.
“Yeah.” he laughs quietly and the laughter falls away. He’s studying you intently. Curious. Because in his mind, all he keeps thinking about is the way Tommy Hagan and Steve Harrington, two boys you’re known to hang around with, smashed his camera because he had pictures of Nancy.
No amount of explaining himself had made it sound any better.
But they’d ruined an expensive camera, so in his mind, he was wondering if this was some weird attempt at a trick or a prank.
Just so happens, you remember Nicole laughing about what they’d all done to his camera one day during practice and you speak up quickly. “This isn’t what you think, okay? Just.. Hear me out. Please.”
His gaze doesn’t get any less wary but he does step over to the seat he’d been sitting in at the table with you a few seconds prior.
“ I…I wanna put together a portfolio. I told my mom I wanted to do senior photos, like a photoshoot but in reality, Oh god.” you go quiet, a faraway look in your eyes, “I want to get the hell away from Hawkins when I graduate. I wanna go to California. I wanna model. Act. Something. Anything to prove I am good enough and I can do it... Anything is better than staying here.”
He almost dismissed what you were saying as a joke, it had to be, but… There was something about the look in your eyes when you talked about your plans. They just seemed to light up. And he hadn’t ever really seen that out of you before. The vivid color of your eyes seemed to intensify and the giddy little giggle you gave before falling silent, something about it seemed a little too real.
More real than anything he’d ever seen out of you up to this point.
So you’d caught his attention and now he was at least partially humoring it. “Wait.” he asks, “Why not just tell your mom what you’re really doing?”
“Because she tried, ya know. She tried and every door slammed shut in her face. Now if I even breathe the word casting call or audition she shuts it down without giving me a chance. I just..” your gaze settles on the brilliant green stripe around the wrist of your cardigan. “I wanna prove to her I can do it. I have to at least try. Look, I’ll pay you. Anything you want, okay? I’m good for it, my mom’s latest boytoy is loaded.”
“How much?” he questions.
“How much do you want, hm? Nicole said you’re really, really good.”
This prompted a snort because somehow, the fact that she said that and his camera still got smashed just irritated him all over again.
“They were assholes, alright? And I… I said so on more than one occasion.” you fell silent because you felt just a little pathetic, practically begging the guy.
“If I do this..” he starts to speak, adding in a quieter tone seconds later, “This better not be some trick.”
“Jon. It’s not a trick. I followed you to ask you here because I thought like.. I felt like you’d know that if I asked you here instead of just asking you at school.” you mutter the words quietly and Jonathan Byers searches your face for any sign or even a hint that this is somehow another joke or a prank that’ll turn destructive.
When he doesn’t see any sign, he shrugs. “What the hell.” he mutters. “I’ll do it. But it’ll be three hundred bucks.”
Three hundred dollars was exactly how much a the top of the line camera Nikon had just come out with happened to be and he’d still have a little left to get his little brother some art supplies. Three hundred dollars was completely fine with you because your mom told you she’d pay anything if you really wanted to do a little senior photoshoot for yourself, on the grounds that it meant you were leaving all this talk of acting and modeling, auditions and gigs in the past to focus on something real. Nevermind the fact that her continually saying you'd never make it or you didn't have the look being your biggest motivator to try and do that very thing.
Her favorite thing to throw up lately seemed to be that you could really make her happy if you were to meet a nice boy and settle down, stay close to home after you graduate.
She’d even gone as far as to invite the Hagans over when Tommy and Carol broke up and their mothers were gossipping about it in the checkout line down at the grocery store.
It had been a complete disaster. A disaster that had you and Carol currently not speaking because for some reason, she thought you’d try to get with Tommy.
You have no interest in him at all.
But Jonathan Byers, after meeting his mom and his little brother… After finally getting an up close and personal look at him… You’d be lying if you didn’t say there was something there, even if it was just infatuation because he was really, really handsome.
The thoughts racing through your mind were enough to prompt you to lean in and brush your lips to his cheek as you laughed and gave him another soft -and real, smile. “Great!” you’re happy, giggling, a smile so bright that it somehow makes the dim lighting in the room just a little brighter, “Maybe this weekend?”
Jonathan mulled it over. “Yeah, that’ll work.”
“I’ll bring you the money as soon as you want it.”
“Wait until the pictures are developed.” he mutters, but you’re just so thrilled that he’ll do this for you that you’d agree to anything. “Some of the pictures might be a little, uh.. Risky. You’re okay with it, right?” you toss the question in casually because it hadn’t occurred to you to ask before he agreed to do what you’re asking.
He shrugs and for just a split second, you feel a little deflated because here you are, sitting at his dining table fighting some strange sort of pull to him and he just shrugs off the fact that he might be photographing you in some… more intimate type poses. It stings a little but you tell yourself it’s simply because you’ve been lucky enough to never really have struggled with rejection being a possibility. Boys tended to flock to you, and it wouldn’t be bragging to say it. It was the truth and sometimes, the truth wasn’t as pretty or as good as people assumed it might be. The fact that you’ve never really dealt with rejection also came with the downside that  you were constantly treated like an object. Dated because you were arm candy and you tended to make whichever boy dated you briefly look just a little better because obviously, he could pull you. It bothered you because this made actually having a relationship pointless and it soured you on nearly half the boys in your grade by this point.
They didn’t want you because you were you, they wanted you because you were pretty with the right makeup and being with you would probably make them look good to whatever girl they’d go on to have real feelings for.
That really hurt.
You shoulder through the moments of pain and you stand. “I’ll see you this weekend.”
“Where?” he calls out just as you reach the Byers front door.
You pause and look back at him. “You’re the one with the good eye. You can pick the location.” you smile as you say it and this time, your smile makes him smile just a little bit.
Then you’re gone, leaving him to stand in the middle of his mother’s kitchen and wonder exactly what he’s gotten himself into. He happens to glance over at Will to find Will barely hiding a laugh. Jonathan grumbles and sinks down into one of the old wooden ladderback chairs at the table as he leans his head back.
“Does this mean you’re finally going to get over Nancy?”
Jonathan snorts. “Girls like that don’t go for guys like me. And this might all be some kind of trick.”
“What?” Will asks softly.
“Well..” Jonathan replays the entire interaction in his mind. “She wants me to take pictures of her. For a portfolio or something and for next year for the yearbook. Those photos at the end?”
“Is she paying you?”
“Yeah.”
“So it’s a job, right?” Will asks.
“Mhm.”
“ I still think she’s prettier than Nancy. And she made you smile. Maybe you could get to know her?” Will mused with a shrug as he wandered out of the kitchen and back into his room.
– ( the weekend )
You’re nervous as hell as you pull your car to a stop beside his. He said he’s got two locations in mind for the photos and one of them is the quarry.
He’s sitting in his car with The Smiths playing full blast so he doesn’t see you when your mom’s Mercedes pulls to a stop next to him, Madonna playing as you frantically try to reapply your makeup and survey yourself in the rearview mirror.
The makeup made you pretty. 
The knock on your window has you jumping a little, a hand to your heart as you roll down the window. Jonathan’s staring down at you intently. Like he wants to say something but he doesn’t. “Are you ready?” he asks quietly.
All you can do is nod because you’re drowning in his stupid deep and dark eyes all over again. It’s something that’s happened a lot throughout the week because you came away from that first little encounter with him almost painfully aware of him.
And at least twice during the week leading up to this moment, you’d actually had a run-in with him. A run-in which Nicole openly remarked left her sexually frustrated somehow, as if the intense staredown between you and him or the way he’d reached out to grab hold of your waist when you weren’t paying attention in the parking lot and nearly wandered right out into a vehicle about to fly past which resulted in you being pressed up against him for at least two seconds that felt like an entire lifetime… She blamed her current sexual frustration on both your run-ins with Jonathan.
Of course, Carol was relieved because this meant you weren’t a threat to her attempting to get Tommy back. And, she gloated after practice yesterday, it gave her something to throw in Nancy’s face.
It was Tommy and two other boys from the basketball team who had very loud and vocal problems with your suddenly taking notice of Jonathan Byers.
And they hadn’t shut their yaps about said problems for the entire week after you were overheard telling Nicole and Tina what you’d hired Jonathan to do.
But none of the above is really relevant, you just can’t seem to get it off your mind. And you could still feel the way his arms gripped your waist to drag you out of the path of incoming doom in the form of a lime colored Pinto with the tag BEANR69 even now, when he’s standing on the outside of your car, patiently waiting on you to pull yourself together.
“I..This looks okay, right?” you turn in front of him in the first outfit you’d chosen, a simple and gauzy white sundress that stopped above your knees and tied at the shoulders. Your cousin told you that the ‘hometown girl’ vibe was something that she heard agents ate right up.
So that was the aura that you hoped the first outfit gave off.
Jonathan surveyed it carefully, brows knit together as his eyes settled on your made up face. “The makeup kind of kills it.” he admits quietly, an apology mumbled almost a second immediately after. “You… you don’t really need it, right?” he asks.
Your mouth opens and closes because you’re not exactly sure how to answer.
“You don’t want me to take it off.” you insist before going quiet.
“At least like… Blot the lipstick.” Jonathan’s shuffling his feet as one of his hands drags through shaggy dark hair. You take a deep breath and you fix your eyes on him with uncertainty. “Are you…” you stammer as you gaze up at him in confusion, “ Are you sure you want me to do that?”
Asking you to take off the makeup might well have been asking you to pose nude because as far back as at least eighth grade, you hadn’t let anybody see you without it. If you were to really stop and think about it, eighth grade was probably the first time someone commented that you’d look so much better with makeup. The comments that followed, well… They sort of formed the basis of your firm belief that makeup was what made you prettiest.
You’re fidgeting nervously. The realization as it’s dawning on you is not comfortable at all. It’s kind of unsettling now that you’re aware just how much of yourself you actually hide away.
Jonathan’s brow raises. And he finds himself wondering why in the hell you seem so afraid to just take off the makeup.
You don’t need it, he thinks to himself as he’s standing there in front of you. While you’re squirming under his gaze he’s just slowly looking you up and down, taking you in. Baffled by this new revelation he’s having, that you might actually be afraid to be seen without makeup.
And wondering just how in the hell that particular quirk came about. Who did it to you? Who made you feel like you needed makeup otherwise, you weren’t pretty at all? Was it one of the assholes you were always seen around school and town with? 
Somehow, just the hint that it might have been had him tensing up. Clenching his fist at his side.
“The dress kind of clashes with your face, okay? That dress doesn’t make me think…” he goes quiet, rubbing a hand over his head. Stepping just a little closer to you as he stares down. “It’s just makeup. Look, you don’t actually need it, alright?” Jonathan insists calmly. But he doesn’t elaborate and in your mind, this leaves just a smidgeon of doubt. He’s never seen you without it, therefore, he can’t know.
Your head tilts slightly as you gaze up at him and he has to swallow down a lump in his throat when the breeze picks up and it sends the sugary sweet scent of whatever perfume you always wear enveloping him. Making him think of hugs. Fresh baked cookies. The way it felt when he stopped that stupid idiot in the Pinto from almost running you over in the parking lot of Hawkins High because he hadn’t been able to get the feeling of your body under his hands out of his head all week long.
Arguably, he’s distracted. Words are not coming.
“H-how do you really know though?” You ask the question quietly. 
“You’re the one who told me I could choose. If you want the picture to be any good…” he rubs his temple.  
He goes quiet because he doesn’t know what to do with this situation.
He’s being patient. Gentle as can be because apparently, this is a delicate situation.
He’d never stopped to consider you actually had non-existent confidence. Not you with the loud laugh who talks with her hands and has no problem speaking her mind or standing up for somebody like he saw you do around Wednesday of the week past when he saw you read Nicole for filth because she was picking on one of the quieter freshman girls.
Now that he knew about it though, the pesky feelings.. Thoughts and urges he’d been dealing with all week as a fallout from you seeking him out to hire him to do this… Those feelings and thoughts and all those urges were getting stronger. More realistic. More dominant in his mind and harder to ignore as a result.
You took a shaky breath. “Okay, alright. I trusted you enough to ask you to do this. You can’t.. Uh.. Don’t laugh or anything, alright?” you attempt a weak smile so he won’t sense that it really bothers you to do what you’re about to, what he’s asked you to, but it does and you’re up in arms about it because it feels like you’re exposing more of yourself than you will be if you make it to the swimsuit shots at any point in the foreseeable future.
You open the door to your car and lean back in, digging around for a napkin from the diner downtown. You wipe away over half of the lipstick and you grab another napkin or two to calm down the intensity of the rest of your makeup.
And it takes you just a little too long to pull yourself together enough to get out of the car because all you can think is that you feel so naked. Vulnerable.
,, But I trust him, I think.” the thought comes by surprise, serving to reassure you just a little.
Jonathan can’t take his eyes off of you and for a good second or two, he can’t really form words right. But he gives you one of those little smiles and you take a deep breath. “Better?” you ask.
“Yeah. Lots. C’mon, I’ll show you where I want to set up first. We’ve gotta get down there now though because the good light will be gone soon.” -it’s the most he’s ever said to you and seeing him get downright giddy over lighting and angles makes you smile to yourself as you follow him down the steep hill leading down to the quarry banks. You nearly trip because you’re  distracted by him and how happy he is at the moment  and his arm shoots out, wrapping around your waist just before you manage to stumble forward.
You both pause. All you can do is stare up at him. He’s staring right back at you, too. And his arm is still wrapped around you tight. He chuckles, the sound is tentative, a little husky. Just like his voice, you think to yourself, the perfect mix of gravel and velvet.
“Are you okay?” he questions, gazing down at you in concern.
“Y-yeah.” you manage to stammer. What you don’t manage to do is take your eyes off of him. No matter what you try.
There’s something about the way the light is hitting you and the look in your eyes. The way the natural sunlight overhead forms this hazy halo round you, it prompts Jonathan to release his hold on your body and step away, his camera raised. 
“What are you doing?” you’re laughing and you shuffle your feet against the sandy path. You’re doing this cute little thing where you fidget and he smirks as the camera clicks soft, the picture of you saved onto the roll.
Given his recent history of taking pictures, he knows that making his own copy might not be the best idea, but he also knows somehow that he’ll wind up doing it. For the memories.
You’re standing in front of him again, your bodies bump together softly. The photoshoot is slowly working itself to the back of your mind, much to your surprise.
But it’s what you asked him to do and given the way he seems totally disinterested in you, you try to put all your own silly thoughts out of your head.
To keep it professional.
He’s the photographer and you’re his subject for the next few days.
But deep down, you’re starting to feel like maybe you want more.
– ( a few hours later )
The little photoshoot had ended hours ago and for some reason, you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to go back home.
You felt more at home at the Byers place.
It was something that shocked you completely, but it was the truth.
You stood in the middle of Jonathan’s room, dragging a pastel colored nail over the stack of cassettes piled high on top of a pretty impressive stereo setup. Jonathan is sitting in the chair at his desk and he’s trying to finish up an assignment that you finished the day it was given.
His shoulders are tensed and every now and then the pencil falls from his hand to the book open in front of him as he raises his hand to massage his temple.
He’s so fucking handsome all you can do is steal looks. You want to do more but…you manage to stop yourself.
If the urge to touch him got any stronger you might as well sit on your own hands. Neither of you had really said much to each other, he’d just kind of accepted your lingering presence at his place after he finished photographing you earlier.
You finally just can’t resist anymore and you wander over to the desk he sits at, placing your hands on his shoulders gently.
Without a word, you start to massage his shoulders. Jonathan glances up at you with a brow raised but his eyes fix on your cute little lips and the long-faded red stain.
The thought is hazy, half-formed. And the words come out before he’s able to stop them.
“You’re gorgeous.”
Your hands hesitate at his shoulders and you bite your lip as you shake your head No. You laugh it off but he’s staring harder. You try to turn your attention back to the massage you’re giving his shoulders, but you can’t focus on it.
“Why’s it so hard t’ believe, hm?” the question comes out in all it’s intrusive glory before he can stop himself from asking. You shrug.
“It just is. I-I.. I can’t explain it.” you stammer, shrugging almost apologetic.
“If it’s the jerks you date saying you need makeup..” Jonathan goes quiet, grumbling to himself about it being none of his business as his words die away.
“No, it’s actually more of a me thing. Kind of.” you admit quietly, shrugging. “All I ever hear is… Nevermind. It’s dumb.”
But he’s staring at you. Waiting on you to finish whatever you were about to say. Rather than actually try to, you nod to the open notebook in front of him. “I.. I can help you, y’know. I already finished mine.”
He shrugs. You move to sit on top of the desk and you turn to pick up the textbook. After scanning the page, you find the paragraph the answer is hiding out in and you hold it out to him. “That’s what the question is asking about. I had to read the same page ten times to find it myself.”
“Oh.” Jonathan writes down the answer expected out of him and then he places the pen on his notebook and he’s staring up at you. You squirm around a little but you’re staring right back. And then you start to lean in before you can stop yourself from doing it. Jonathan starts to lean in too and as soon as you pick up on it, your heart is thumping away lazy at your ribcage as you feel your breath come out in a soft and shaky exhale. 
You’re a long time away from having had your first kiss, there have been many since but somehow this feels different. Vivid and real. Exciting. You’re nervous, too. For the first time in a long time, you’re not just going through the motions because it’s what somebody else wants or what’s expected.
No, you want to kiss Jonathan Byers.
More than you realized.
The tip of his nose bumps against your nose and you giggle quietly as you lean down, into him a little closer. Your fingers curl in the front of a dingy white tee shirt and you use that to pull him in even closer. He moves the chair so that he’s sitting right in front of you and one of his hands settles on your thigh, the pad of his thumb making lazy strokes against the gauzy fabric of the little sundress. Your mouths finally meet and at first it’s clumsy; tentative. A little awkward because this is not something either of you were counting on.
But then you’re gripping the front of his shirt tighter and your soft lips latch against his slightly chapped ones. He groans quietly, his mouth falling open to allow you easier access and the hand resting against your thigh squeezes it.
You spring apart abruptly when you heard the knob on his bedroom door rattling and you’re panting for your next breath, staring at him with wide eyes. Jonathan turns in the chair and calls out, “Yeah?”
His little brother peeks in. “Mom wanted t’ know if your friend was staying for supper.”
You start to say you will but you stop yourself. Jonathan gazes up at you intently. Then he nods, giving his brother a lopsided smile. “Yeah. If she wants to.” he glances up and you smile at the little boy in the doorway brightly. “I’d love to.” you answer, laughing softly.
The bedroom door bangs shut softly.
For at least a minute, neither of you can really say anything. You speak up because you’re about to apologize for some reason but Jonathan cuts you off, mid-sentence.
“I’m not sorry I did that, okay? I know you probably didn’t..” he goes quiet. You grip his jaw and tug his gaze upward. “I’m not sorry either.” you admit with a soft laugh. “I meant to do it. I wanted to, alright?”
He laughs and you’re pouting at him. “What?”
“Well, this is kind of a cliche, I mean… Photographer and his subject?” Jonathan shrugs but the laughter dies away. You slip off the desk and into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as you lean against him. “You realize that implies something, yeah?”
“If you want it to…” Jonathan mumbles as he makes you look up at him. “Do you?”
You smile and nod. “Mhm.”
He grins and lets you melt against him. And for a minute or two, he attempts to finish the remaining questions on his worksheet but with you melted against him and your warm breath tickling that one spot on his neck it’s easier said than done. He shuts the notebook and his hands catch against your face as he pulls you in for another kiss.
Deeper this time.
“I wasn’t kidding earlier.. Y’know, when I said you didn’t need it… The makeup, I mean. Whoever told you that you do was probably jealous.” as he says it, he drags the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip and you sit there, letting what he’s just said sink in.
You want to believe him but your way of thinking is a hard one to break.
He seems to pick up on your apprehension because he mumbles quieter, “Look.. I want you. The real you. That’s the only way this is gonna work. Can you try? I mean.. Do you want to?”
You nod and it’s shy. Tentative. You give him a weak smile. “I’ll try. I mean it.”
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boombambaby · 4 months
Text
Drabble; The ENTRANCE. (pt.1)
This is the big one, folks! I apologize in advance for the literal novel this drabble turned in to; but this is always how I pictured Kuzco making his 'grand' entrance to Kuzco Academy, and why everyone was immediately so unimpressed with him. So; for those who read? Enjoy!
“There are despots and dictators, political manipulators. There are blue bloods with the intellects of fleas.– There are kings and petty tyrants, who are so lacking in refinements– they’d be better suited swinging from the trees!” As far as first days of school go, this particular morning would definitely be considered quiet and uneventful. 
Students mill around on the school campus in small groups and cliques, with some standing around or sitting at the outdoor cafeteria tables, some reclining against the edge of the llama fountain– all of them catching up on what they missed over the break, and the new idle gossip. “He was born and raised to rule, no one has ever been this cool– in a thousand years of aristocracy!– An enigma and a mystery, in Mesoamerican history– the quintessence of perfection, that is HE!” Amongst the popular topics today are who’s dating who now, which extracurriculars everyone will be joining for the year and who’s coming back, or newly attending Kuzco Academy. There’s rumors going around that Kronk is enrolled, which is big considering what an athlete he is. Coach Sweety is already making plans for him to join just about every varsity team they have. Rumors swirl that Kuzco will be attending as well, though that’s admittedly far less gossip worthy. For the most part, it’s confusing. He is their Emperor, and has been in the public eye for as long as any of them can remember– what reason would he ever have to attend a public school, even one with his name on it? Secondary to that, it’s well known around the Kingdom what an egomaniac the Emperor is. If the stories are true, Kuzco will be hard pressed to fit in with any of them; not that he’ll want to speak with the ‘peasant’ class he’s supposed to be ruling over. That’s gossip for you, though. It’s all pretty boring, really. “Did you hear about Kronk? He’s starting this year for continuing education– “ “Oh I know! Oh, Kronk. He’s so dreamy, and those muscles!” A cacophony of noise in the form of blaring trumpets breaks the quiet of the early morning, so startling in the intensity of their sound that it causes several of the students standing around the fountain to drop their books in favor of covering their ears. In the next moment, guards rush up the stairs of the school, unceremoniously shoving students out of the way to clear room for the entourage making its way through. The students not in the way stare, dumbfounded at the spectacle, looking at one another as if making absolute sure this is really happening. It is. “OHH YEAH!– “ When the golden litter and the guards carrying it finally clear the final few steps to reach the landing, Kuzco is already standing in the middle of it with the curtains drawn to the side around him and his hands on his hips. Theme Song Guy chooses that moment to slide in on his knees from underneath the litter, microphone in hand as he swings his arm around to the students standing in front of them. 
“HE’S THE SOVEREIGN LORD OF THE NATION, HE’S THE HIPPEST DUDE IN CREATION. HE’S THE HEP CAT IN THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES!” Kuzco jumps down from the litter, flexing his arms and grinning wildly as the guards carrying the litter head back down the stairs, so the guards who know the dance routine can come up behind him in a row. “YEARS OF SUCH SELECTIVE BREEDING, GENERATIONS HAVE BEEN LEADING– – TO THIS MIRACLE OF LIFE THAT WE ALL KNOW! WHAT’S HIS NAME?” Theme Song Guy points at the students closest to him once he pops back up onto his feet, who stare blankly back at him in return. If it weren’t for the music, you could almost certainly hear crickets in the background– until a lone voice behind the crowd pipes up with a ‘KUZZZCOOOOOOO!’ (Thank you, Guaka.) With an exaggerated hip thrust, Kuzco breaks into his dance, flouncing all over the landing at the top of the stairs as he goes through the routine with his guards river-dancing in the background. It’s exactly what he had been hoping for– a GRAND entrance, for his adoring public. He is the EMPEROR, after all. He deserves nothing less! And they all deserve to know who it is they’ll be dealing with for the next few years! “HE’S THE SOVEREIGN LORD OF THE NATION, HE’S THE HIPPEST CAT IN CREATION! HE’S THE ALPHA THE OMEGA A TO Z! – AND HIS PERFECT WORLD WILL SPIN, AROUND HIS EVERY LITTLE WHIM. ‘CAUSE HIS PERFECT WORLD BEGINS AND ENDS WITH– “ Kuzco cuts him off with a spin in which he throws his arms out to the side, leg kicking out as he lands the spin and his hands moving back in to point at his own face. “ME!” Guaka’s voice carries as he sings along with the refrain ‘KUUUUZZZCOOOO’ and Kuzco continues his dance routine, oblivious to the wide eyed, incredulous stares and the laughter bubbling up from the students around him. Before he can finish entirely they’re all cut off by a loud, shrill voice that resonates over the campus from the entrance to the school; “KUZCO! ENOUGH!” If anyone would recognize both the music and the dance routine, it would be none other than; you guessed it! . . .
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nebulousfishgills · 11 months
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Random ask bc I was thinking about it and now I'm curious:
What is the most unique power, skill, or trait that you've given an OC, and how does it impact their story?
(alternatively, share the most unique trait of EACH OC, if you'd like to be a bit more thorough with it :D )
Well, you know me and being thorough! So we're gonna do that!
I'm apologizing in advance.
We're gonna go in order, so...
-Olivia Iridottir-
If I had to pick her most unique trait, I think it's summed up susinctly enough in these excerpts from "Time Variance Detected:"
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Olivia is a being who is equally capable of both good and evil depending on the universe she's in and it can massively impact her story. "A Song of Stars and Magic" covers the nitty gritty of this and the reason why that story in particular is unique... which, sidenote, someone left a really sweet comment on it the other day and I was flattered and a bit shocked bc I didn't expect anybody to read it in the year of our lord 2023, let alone like it.
I really plan on remastering it at some point since before Diplopia, THAT was my masterpiece of fiction. It's an inside joke among my knowing friends that it just never ends. 2020 was when I started it, I posted all of its chapters in like, early 2021 (so it was very much a covid pet project) and I finally stopped nitpicking it in July of 2022, and that was because of, you guessed it, Stranger Things.
But I really enjoy the lore I came up with for that story, especially with how this particular Dark Variant of Olivia seemed like... reaaaallllllyyyy bad. It was because of that Accident, but also because of how volatile of a being she is naturally.
-Keira Browning-
I mean, obviously she's *puts on the garbage Boston accent* Wicked Smaht, which gets her to her position in her story. She's smart enough for MIT, smart enough for Oscorp, and smart enough that it catches Norman's attention before they even formally meet. Her life was set for this trajectory, it's really her own decisions after the fact that set her on that darker path.
Ironically enough, her logic failing her gets her into this mess to a point where it can't get her out of it. I even say as much before they test the Performance Enhancers in the lab and it All Goes Wrong:
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Which, obviously her smarts can only go so far at my own behest. I'm smart but not as smart as she is. So, you know I come up with bullshit frequently and call it Keira Being Smart. It's comic book science, it doesn't have to make any sense, really.
But you know, obviously a pregnancy hormone is the way to go here, good job, me.
-Emily Ripley/Many Last Names-
I mean, obviously her lab grown (maybe) abilities are the big one, but rather than talk about those, let's talk about the reason why they seem weaker than Henry's and how the OG 002 and 003 factor into it.
Obviously I don't think Brenner knew what he was doing with the initial experiment trials since the nature of Henry's powers were still a mystery. A blood transfusion was all it took, but I really think the Mind Flayer had something to do with it. As it stands in my theory mind, the Mind Flayer fused with Henry and physically put its particles into him like the other hivemind creatures. These particles could have been in his blood, which explains how the transfusion worked at all and how 002 and 003 got powers as well.
But I don't think they ended up being as powerful as Brenner wanted, which is why he was rather dismissive when they escaped. Admittedly that's a loose thread on my part, but I think a proximity to Henry also exacerbates it, like the Hotspot in my Bluetooth metaphor. Maybe after they ran away their powers just... faded away, maybe they're still out there, who knows.
But Emily. I think Emily's time in the abandoned Creel House allowed the Mind Flayer access to her as well, just not as much since she only spent so long in there compared to Henry. Then she gets her own blood transfusion and it gives her powers. Probably more powerful than 002 and 003, but less than Henry since there just isn't enough Mind Flayer in her...
And her continued attachment to her humanity. Henry always likened himself to a predator superior to the human race, Emily had human relationships post banishment when she would go to the Overworld. And I think only she was able to create gates because the Mind Flayer allowed her to. She was doing spy work for it as much as she was doing it for Henry since the goal is to get Eleven and, later on, Will. Having a woman on the inside (or outside, depending on her perspective) helps massively. But that connection to her last shreds of humanity is what's ultimately holding her back from her true potential.
Notice how Emily doesn't get all that tired during the Massacre when clearly if she's weaker than Henry, she probably should have. She wasn't behaving fully human, the Mind Flayer took over (as what I believe happened to Henry) and it granted her more strength and power the more she killed and absorbed for her and it. But I think after she undergoes her transformation at the end of The Piggyback (what Nancy called "the Upside Down poisoning Emily") and fully gives up her humanity and sort of "surrenders" to the Mind Flayer like Henry had, she'll get much stronger.
I expect that rot will spread. Where we leave her she still looks Emily-ish, still somewhat human, just with wings and a few vines. Maybe by the end she'll be a whole lot more powerful and look closer to Lilith from Diablo 4:
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(Ooo now I kinda wanna draw that)
Basically I think in Season 5/HTM Part 2 (we'll see what I end up titling it) Emily's gonna go full Beast Mode with the Mind Flayer becoming her puppet master just as it became Henry's.
***
For the fun of it, let's dive into one small trait/power/etc for my smaller OCs (at least the named ones at the bottom of my masterpost... I have others I wanna make at some point, I just need to sit down and do it.
Lydia Roberts - Her mastery with dough and going rogue to make berry pies when meat is in short supply is the only reason Mrs. Lovett's business has lasted as long as it has.
Irinerys - Obviously she's an RPG stand in and can only do as much as she's coded to do, but I think despite the fact that she started her story as a former slave turned acolyte, with the power she's gained over the course of her story/the campaign I believe she's incredibly vain and gets very good at hair and make-up to make herself seem more important than her humble origins would have you believe. Since Ashara is the only female companion, Irinerys does her make-up as a bonding thing when not on missions, but absolutely used Andronikos as a canvas at some point. He's a space pirate, she 100% gave him some Jack Sparrow type eyeliner at some point.
Aneadora Fír - I haven't played actual D&D with my friends in a bit since we've been doing Thirsty Sword Lesbians instead, but she's a Reborn Tiefling (we were all undead creatures) and has some Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas stitches and various body parts (they all look grey compared to her blue skin). I feel like she'd sometimes undo the thread holding her pieces together and change their colors, so now her arm is held in place by pink stitches.
Marlina Nerys - So, fun fact, I was the first one of our party to get romantically entangled (literally I got laid in our first session and now it's a gag where I get laid every session). But she had a past as a Reformed Villain and in one of our last sessions (we're on break for summer) she learned a horrible secret... her ex, literal partner in crime, killed her parents after they tried looking for her (she ran away from home as a child). Determined to keep Marlina to herself, her ex tracked her parents down and killed them, never telling Marlina that her parents were even searching in the first place... TSL is a goofy system and nine times out of ten it gets very silly but our DM always has to give us something angsty. I came up with the secret, but she was the one who had me do so... it was either this or forget my girlfriend so I'd rather the horrible secret any day.
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laughterbynight · 1 year
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Le Comfort Tags
this is going to be long
these tags are brought to you by @burntotears
Comfort Movie(s): 2005 Pride & Prejudice, Jurassic Park, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, A Little Princess, The Secret Garden, and Under the Tuscan Sun. Can't remember how well some of those aged...
Comfort Food (s): (okay so for about 9 months I had long covid before we had vaccines, which means, weirdly, my body developed allergies to a lot of foods I could tolerate previously. Old faves have *)
Cheese, big glass of Milk*, Pizza*, Tortellini Alfredo*, Miso Soup, Diet Coke*, Oat Milk Ice Cream, Teriyaki Salmon, Petit Fours*, Pastry Cream*.
Comfort Clothing: A very oversized T Shirt and nothing else or baggy pants and a velvet crop top. Very specific but it's my favorite thing to wear when I'm being cozy. I do like big sweaters but if I get overheated the feeling is ruined immediately.
Comfort Song(s): I apologize in advance but there's no way to make this short. Daydreaming means I'm always switching between a line up of songs that transport my brain to other places or set off specific feelings. Some probably don't sound comfortable per se but the familiarity is what gets me. A few have been my go-to escapism songs for well over a decade. And of course the line up is always in flux. Also, like, fanfic mood music is a must yo.
BZY-The Earth Laughs In Flowers Jean Dawson - Pirate Radio The 1975 - Happiness Great Heart - Johnny Clegg & Savuka the verve - bittersweet symphony Deco - bittersweet symphony New Radicals - You Get What You Give Tracy Chapman - Crossroads Temple of the Dog(aka soundgarden and pearl jam) - Hunger Strike ODESZA - Line Of Sight Steve Conte - Call Me Call Me The Midnight - We Move Forward Savage Garden - I Want You Stewart Copeland (yes from the police) - Misty Bog (spyro the dragon) Angels & Airwaves - The Adventure Broke for Free - A Beautiful Life Cressida- 6am (Kyau & Albert Remix) Niklas Harding & Arcane- Ice Beach Michael Cassette - Wateresque Nitrous Oxide - North Pole Fire Flowerz - Sugar
Technically you could probably put any intro and outro from the og toonami line up on this list. I stg it's like getting smacked in the face with nostalgia to hear anything from that time.
*if a song is like 8 minutes jump ahead 2. That usually gets you past the warm up.
Comfort Book(s): The Birth of the Firebringer, Vol 1. of the Sailor Moon manga, Pride and Prejudice (specifically the audio version by the sleepy bookshelf) which is also on spotify, and probably ACOMAF (the rest can rot but I still love that ONE book.)
Comfort Game(s): Spyro the Dragon (I know this game too well), Tomba 1 & 2, Stardew Valley, Harvest Moon DS Cute, Dewprism/Threads of Fate.
Comfort Streamers:
Tbh although I check in with a handful of streamers from time to time Ray is probably who I watch the most. Quick wit, sarcasm, and snark are my favorite things, so Ray is my go-to. (yes, that Ray. He escaped RT a long time ago. It's a whole thing that's been talked about by him. He's a safe one, don't worry.)
RayNarvaezJr.
dude plays pretty much anything and everything but if I had to rec somewhere to start go with either pokemon or stardew if you want chill vibes, or watch his plays of any of the resident evil or yakuza games for fuckery.
Comfort Youtube Channels:
I'm adding this because I use a few when I'm overwhelmed and need something familiar or gentle to watch. Separate from gaming stuff.
Kennie JD - Bad movies and a beat playlist (kennie is just hysterical anyway but omg these reviews. The Twilight ones in particular get me every time.
Anti-Chef - Watch Jamie attempt to cook through Julia Child's cookbooks. It's very charming and you're always rooting for him. He's very real about the process which is nice.
Dominic Noble - Lost in Adaptation. Exactly what it sounds like. Books vs Film and TV but he's also not an ass about it so it's a pleasant experience.
nigiricco - Bento videos like every three days it's wild but imo soothing to watch.
Sophia Phan - Movie Commentaries. She's adorable.
Imamu room - MORE BENTO
Joconde's baking - Really soothing baking videos imo as long as you don't mind the sound of it. Like almost asmr if that helps.
Chocolate Cacao - The master of baking chocolate I stg
José - Video essays and damn good retrospectives including scrubs, that 70s show, boy meets world, the golden girls, cheers, the fresh prince etc.
The Movie Budz - More great film commentary
PBS Idea Channel - Okay so this channel has been dead for 6 years now but it's STILL full of amazing videos that I have yet to see matched in their depth and scope. Plus it's nearly all pop culture which keeps it fun an accessible. If you aren't familiar with PBSID I highly suggest sifting through the archive. There are videos on everything from The Pokemon War Theory to How Does Night Vale Confront Us With the Unknown?
Hbomberguy - The dude with the Pathologic video. His other stuff is really good too.
Folding Ideas - Video essays and commentary plus some really good deep dives into other subjects like NFTs, Flat Earthers, and the Ralph Bakshi Lord of the Rings uh adaptation?
Primitive Technology - Okay, you know those videos YT recs where it looks like two guys built a hotel out of bamboo or something but it's clearly fake? This is the guy they're mimicking.
Peaceful Cuisine - Mostly vegan and/or gluten free cooking. Most videos have an asmr version and a version with soft music playing.
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Was all of that necessary? Probably not. I am now tired. To think I trimmed down what I was going to add.
Tagging folks but like everyone feel free to do it, and no you don't have to do all the categories I did. I added the youtube videos and went kinda wild with music.
Going by my activity page again otherwise this will be too long
@loveayeti @corpsefluid @deviess @metaphysicaltelephone @cobaltbluepub @kerrykhat @doommsatic @isixdream @aetheling @thesoilofblackpepper @blue-shale @thematurescholar @ghost-proof @pixiereadsb00ks @dreaminginspacecowboy @truculentbantam @tfisathoughtfulnickelbakeryfire Zuloo Idk why I can't tag you but I see your ass on my activity page so consider yourself tagged.
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lucky-draws · 2 years
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hii I was just wondering if there are any songs you associate with particular mgs characters or ships? any playlists? I need recs for mine!! ty <3
HELLO!!! um OK i don't have any playlists of my own but there are definitely a bunch of songs i associate w mgs ppl/ships... (apologies in advance for a lot of them being by the same band LOL)... erm maybe what i’ll do is i’ll just list them here first without any explanation but then under a read more i will post the same list but with some thoughts/specific reasons why so you can choose whether to listen blind/draw ur own conclusions OR to read my thoughts beforehand etc, i wont talk abt every song tho just a few of them, SO yeah: by Depeche Mode: Judas - ocelot Bottom Line - ocelot Halo, Personal Jesus, Only When I Lose Myself - bosselot In Your Room - bosselot, or any other ship (horny) (lol) Never Let Me Down Again - kaz Walking In My Shoes - big boss Mercy In You - otasune/david pov Black Celebration - otasune Barrel Of A Gun - david, maybe venom snake too Policy Of Truth - sort of kaz and bb but more generally just like. lies. betrayal. etc. just general horny songs by the modes which u could apply to whoever include Rush, Higher Love, World In My Eyes (< that one’s kind of bosselot?) by the Pet Shop Boys: Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots Of Money) - Kaz (lol) Pandemonium - bosselot? Two Divided By Zero - otasune? vaguely... by Kraftwerk Computer Liebe/Computer Love - dr strangelove/strangeboss (lol), also maybe otacon actually (idk if there are any others by them i’d specifically relate to a character BUT. just the general electronic loneliness might bring some vibes to a playlist....i will just list some of my fave kw songs for fun lol: Radioactivity, Radioland, Airwaves, Ohm Sweet Ohm, Neon Lights, Pocket Calculator...) by Duran Duran Is There Something I Should Know? - very vaguely bosselot View To A Kill - a cheesy james bond film song but that makes it snake eater esque and therefore kind of bosselot or mgs3 in general (snake eater itself also definitely works as a bosselot song....get that tree frog in your playlists) by The Jam Thick As Thieves - bbkaz? ok that’s all i got for now rly, apologies that these are all the same kind of uh genre sort of. if u dont like depeche mode or synthpop in general then i guess this was no help at all.......LOL.......really tho depeche mode and metal gear just fit so well together in my opinion it’s a win if ur a fan of both....
so yh anyway hope u manage to fill your playlist!!! have a good day :-) <3
ok errm i wont talk abt every song bc that would be a lot but i’ll do the ones i have the most to say abt/think they need explaining/can actually articulate something abt:
Depeche Mode:
- Judas - ocelot and his devotion to bb. religious suffering. martyrdom. all the shit ocelot does for big boss. yeah.
- Bottom Line - kind of ocelot also, his devotion to bb again but specifically like. idk 'the apple falls, destiny calls, i follow you' was the line that made me go (!) bc i saw a post on here where someone i think it was a user called captmelbourne mentioned the whole. ocelot born from a snake shaped scar thing. 'destiny and shit' was the words they used i believe and like! fucking. exactly that... idk. ocelot and bb being so weirdly horribly intertwined bc of the boss is what makes me go insane every time
- Never Let Me Down Again - i sort of relate this to bbkaz like from kaz' pov...the 'he' the song talks abt being bb...'im taking a ride w my best friend. i hope he never lets me down again. promises me im safe as houses (as long as i remember who's wearing the trousers.)'..... just the whole kaz caught up in euphoria of being w bb except we know and maybe he himself knows that it will not end well. bb's power/control over and eventual betrayal of kaz etc. u know?
Pet Shop Boys: - Pandemonium - maybe the type of music itself doesnt feel that bosselot-ty but the lyrics sort of are, from bb’s pov marvelling at ocelot’s general lunacy, ‘in major trouble since u were almost a minor’...’sometimes i think we’ll both explode’...just their crazy dynamic basicly - Two Divided By Zero - you could see this as like philanthropy otasune, always on the run kind of thing....? idk its just a song that i like LOL ...half of these are like my fave songs anyway that i also happen to go (!) what if i forced this to be related to mg somehow LOL
Kraftwerk - Computer Love - just makes me think of strangelove + the ai pod, loneliness, literally ‘computer love’ in terms of building the ai as a replacement boss kind of thing.....and also maybe more generally otacon? makes me think of him pre-meeting snake, his lonely nerd era etc Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know? - only vaguely bosselot but i class it in similar vibes to snake eater ish, just the cheesiness, ‘don’t say ur easy on me, you’re about as easy as a nuclear war’ is very metal gear i think LOL, just in general mgs3 bosselot meeting, same w View To A Kill The Jam - Thick As Thieves - just vaguely bbkaz, ‘like a perfect stranger you came into my life, like a perfect lone ranger you rode away..’ just friendships falling apart etc...more childhood friends in the song than uh whatever bbkaz are but ya know, just vibes
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zalrb · 1 year
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This comes out nowhere and i apologize in advance for it but there was a fast and furious movie airing on tv the other day and the only thing i could think about was "what would zalrb think of the chemistry between the leads" 😅 so... have you ever watched the movies? What do you think lf paul walker and vin diesel?
L M A O so when the first movies came out when i was a kid, i was obsessed with them because i had a thing for cars and drag racing and, like, stealing cars at the time and the early 00s saw a lot of those movies like gone in 60 seconds and biker boyz and the italian job and rappers who were big at the time were having cameos like ja rule had a cameo in the first one and then ludacris was in the second ("act a fool" the song he made for the movie had us in a CHOKEHOLD) and i thought paul walker was hot lmao so like i actually have a soft spot for the original movies (which is funny because initium HATES those movies because they're corny and low budget but her guilty pleasure is the newest movies because they're absurd) the fourth one was when i stopped watching them because it was becoming what it is now and i didn't care for that but i have a fondness for the fourth one in particular because i saw it with my friend at the time and this is the one where letty's dead and there's a scene when dom figures out brian knew something about letty because dom gets possession of letty's phone and calls the last number on it which is brian's number and me and my friend at the same time went "oh shit" when brian's phone rang and then right after brian yells OH SHIT because dom goes to the next room to kick his ass and we were rolling with laughter because we thought it was the funniest thing at the time.
anyway, to answer your question,i don't think anyone in the movies had great chemistry with each other but i also think that does not matter for a franchise like the fast and the furious. i just think paul was charismatic onscreen, particularly in the earlier movies
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and he played that sort of eager-to-please beholden younger brother role well enough compared to dom's monosyllabic *heavy sigh* eye roll older brother role that you kind of just go with it,
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but like i don't think there's particular ease and energy in how they riff or in their physicality,
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it's just that paul smiles and it's like awwwww but that's not chemistry -- although this scene is the scene i think they vibed the most
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stlaika · 2 years
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I saw you doing some MCR loveposting and got so excited! I love music so much and it makes me unreasonably happy to see people talking about how much they love it too. You are NOT pretentious and never will be, you deserve to talk about the things you like with passion and respect!!!
How do you feel about The Black Parade, as a concept album? I've always been into albums that tell stories and I love hearing what other people think about TBP, since it's so open to personal interpretation!! :0
Firstly that is SO sweet of you to say oh my god,,,,, i really appreciate it man bc ive been feeling VERY weird abt this particular interest of mine ayejdhisj,,,, thank you so much <3 !!
Secondly you have awakened a BEAST so i apologize in advance
ROIGHT. THE BLACK PARADE....
I LOVE the fuckin black parade man, altho its not my favorite concept album by mcr [that title belongs to danger days] its p high up there still.
The thing about TBP is that gerard way's penchant for storytelling really shines thru in this album, bc you can really feel the sort of..anger and anguish and eventual acceptance that the dying man of this story is feeling. It's absolutely mcr's most,,, whats the word. Musically diverse? Argh idk what the word is but they definitely experimented w different styles for this album [see: cancer, bits and pieces of mama, blood, and the first half of welcome to the black parade in particular].
Cancer in particular is a really good example of this bc it swaps out their usual guitars for a softer piano, and it really adds to like. The emotional rawness of that song yknow? Particularly w the way gerard's voice is so. Augh i wouldn't say growly but its like..rough and emotional and it just. Makes the song so fuckin moving to hear [Frank iero my friend frank iero cant listen to it without crying which says a lot when you know hes been w mcr for 20 years]
NOW. ONTO THE CROWNING FUCKIN JEWEL OF THIS ALBUM. WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE!!
My god am I truly an mcr fan if i dont wax poetic abt this song at least once? Anyway GSKSJ
The thing abt wttbp is that its structured like bohemian rhapsody, which is smth i noticed after my week long binge session of their albums. The marching band opening of wttbp is like the classicl choral/opera style of the opening of borhap, the swap to rock halfway thru is used in both, and theres that section around the middle point [the im just a boy section in wttbp] that once again shifts the musical style of the song [and focuses on ray toro's absolutely BRILLIANT fuckin shredding, god bless that man]. Theres also the fade out w music similar to the intro, and combine all of that w the fact that queen was one of mcr's inspirations and you can see my point. Theres also the fact its the band's most well known song, and even ppl who've never heard of the band know the song [again, much like borhap]
Like ALL of mcr's albums theres this like. Powerful mix of emotions that makes itself known throughout the album. Whether it's the resigned, bittersweet goodbye of cancer, the almost hysterical anger and self deprecation of dead!, or the apologies and declaration of death being inevitable in mama, each track carries parts of the emotional progress of the dying man TBP is written from the perspective of, and portrays it in such a way that even at its most abstract its just. SO clear what this man is feeling and what the band is trying to convey,,,, AUGH
AUGH!! i love mcr man its such an incredible fuckin band and the just. The fact that the members are just such ordinary people who really poured their hearts and souls into every song they wrote [to quote ray toro: "it all started to make sense. Now i know why we're here"],,,,,,,,,,, they really are the band that changed the world dude like i cant talk about them without getting worked up. Mx way if you can hear me you did it man
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aaa that snippet makes me so excited for the next part of when sun shines!! been absolutely loving the series so far and am eager to see hero and zoey meet proper!! :o
Awww thank you so much for sending in this ask, Anon! 💙 It made my whole day, and I know I speak for both Sprinkles & myself when I say that it really means so much to both of us to hear that you’re so invested in “When Sun Shines Again” and excited for the next part! It’s so flattering and encouraging to hear that other people are interested in our work, especially a story that is so dear to us.
To be honest, I’ve been struggling a lot with the next chapter (which is now so long it’ll (probably) have to be 2 chapters 😅) thus why there has been such a delay. I was sharing some of my frustrations with Sprinkles the other day and groaning (somewhat jokingly) “Is anyone even going to care if this ever, actually gets written?” (lol) 😅 So needless to say I really needed to hear this, Anon! Thank you so much for sharing how much you’ve been enjoying this series and how excited you are for the story to continue.
I'm going to include some unsolicited ramblings about the origins of "When Sun Shines Again" and a little bit about why it's so humbling and flattering to hear that you're so interested and invested in it (apologies in advance for even more ramblings from me!), but I've put it under the cut (since I've rambled enough already and it get into some OMORI spoilers 😅).
To wrap up here, however, thank you so much again for such a kind ask and your encouragement! I'm extra determined to wrap up these chapters for you, Anon! 🥺 Please don't ever be shy about reaching out to us, especially if you want to talk about "When Sun Shines Again." ⛅ Cheers & much love to you! 💙
"When Sun Shines Again" is such niche project and, in a lot of ways, an unexpected one given how much everyone (Sprinkles and myself included) absolutely love HeroMari and desperately wish they could have gotten their happy ending. Sprinkles' often makes the joke that "Of course, I want Hero to be happy and move on & love again if that's what he wants. I just don't want to know about it" (lol 😅😂). In that way, it honestly shocks me sometimes to learn that anyone is actually interested in this project. I certainly wouldn't blame anyone for not having it as their cup of tea, and genuinely thought "no one is going to read this" when I started posting it, so it has been such a flattering and encouraging experience to hear that people are interested and even invested in exploring this and considering what Hero's life after Mari might look like.
As much as I can get absolutely squealy over Mari Lives AUs where Hero and Mari get to live happily ever after together, at the end of the day, I feel like they don't comfort me, personally, because I know that the reality is that Hero has to learn to live in a world without her. And after spending several weeks listening to sad love songs and crying about HeroMari in my backyard after finishing the game (almost a year ago), I remember just genuinely thinking “Is Hero going to be okay?” and really trying to ponder what that would be like and what his future would look like.
I remember the first time I asked Sprinkles, “Do you think Hero is ever going to love again?” and she said, “No.”
I said, “Well what if he did?” And we kind of had this discussion about how neither of us had any ideas about what that would even be like. But I was feeling determined so I remember saying to her "I'm going to figure this out and get back to you."
I took that very seriously and did a lot of research and pondering and eventually came to the conclusion that Hero didn't have to be "ready" to put himself out there and actively pursue a relationship with just anybody (i.e. go a bunch of blind dates or try online dating or something like that), but he could eventually be ready to love a particular person. It's not so much that he's ready to love again in the general sense, but more that he's ready to love that person (in this case, to love Zoey specifically). And even that was going to take an extremely long time.
Using this as a jumping off place, I had this idea of what if Hero had this extremely slow burn with a friend of his from college who is spunky, smart, a little snarky, and really focused on her ambitions and her career (so she isn't just waiting around for a decade for him to be ready to date her). She's confident in herself and isn't threatened or insecure about Hero's love for Mari, rather she is actually very sensitive to his pain and his grief. She's intuitive enough to know that he's lonely and is kind enough to encourage him that he can open up to her and can share these things that are incredibly difficult for him to talk about. (And she was always a redhead in my mind too but that's not that important).
I named her "Zoey" because it means "Life" from the word ζω meaning "to live" (thank you high school level Greek class) which is what I wanted so desperately for Hero. I wanted him to live and to have a life even after everything that he's been through. That life doesn't have to include moving on, loving again, and settling down, but if it did that's what Zoey represents. (Though, to be fair, I did ask Sprinkles' if the name was a little too on the nose 😂).
After I had this vague vision, I took this very barebones idea back to Sprinkles and she encouraged me that I should write this story. I told her, "I don't think anyone will read it" 😅 But she said she would, so I decided to write it for her and for myself. That said, it means the absolute world to me to hear that other people out there are interested and that they want this story too.
It started off very small, but it grew into something much bigger because I think "When Sun Shines Again" is about so much more than just Hero eventually falling in love again. It's about Hero finding healing, finding people who love and support him, and ultimately finding himself and his sense of purpose again. Even Zoey isn't just there to eventually date him, at least I hope not! (I was thrilled and incredibly touched that you mentioned her in your ask! Thank you for that!🥺💕) It's important to me that she has a whole life and a purpose outside of just being a love interest for Hero and that they have this deep and meaningful platonic friendship which would be just as beautiful even if it remained purely platonic between them and Hero was never ready to move on and never wanted to take it to a romantic place.
I think is why I actually started with "Am I Ready For Love Or Maybe Just A Best Friend?" which is mostly about their platonic friendship and Hero finally opening up about his grief and how much still loves and misses Mari. I always go back to that heartbreaking line in the game on One Day Left when Hero says, "I've been so busy with school and studying, I don't really have time to make friends anymore." He's so alone at a time in his life when he is most in need of the support of people who love him. Even if Hero never loves Zoey romantically, there's something beautiful and something important in him having a friendship with someone who says to him, "You can open up to me. It's safe. You're not going to hurt me" and for him to believe her.
From there we created this whole group of friends for Hero to have at college. We tried to be very thoughtful in the creation of them and really just wanted Hero to have these people in his life who love and support him and who he can hopefully (one day) open up to without the fear of hurting them (or of bumping into their own wounds and grief surrounding Mari's death) so he can really start to heal. We felt strongly that those degrees of separation for Mari were really crucial, though there were many discussions (and some disagreements) about how similar Hero's friends (and especially his eventual love interest) should or shouldn't be to Mari. In a way, I think every single one of Hero's friends that we've made up has something in them that parallels Mari at least in some small way whether it's Lorraine being giggly and talented arts & crafts or Kyle's having an injured knee. (Tamra is probably the most like her, but I digress... This is all a discussion for another time, perhaps).
The truth is that Mari is irreplaceable, but that doesn't Hero mean can't build meaningful relationships with other people. His new friends don't have to be Mari, and they don't have to replace her either. Moving on doesn't mean having to forget.
And that's really what this new section of the story is all about so, needless to say, we are so excited to finally get there and are so happy to hear that others are excited too. Thank you so much for all of all your support and encouragement! Take care 💙
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arwensloanebarnes · 3 months
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I recently got to see Ben's show at the Troubador in January thanks to Guo years who uploaded the entire show to YouTube and damn, his next album is going to be amazing. I listened to some songs and they are very good and the lyrics, uffff, one in particular broke my heart, . and what is certain is that those songs will definitely allow you to get to know Ben a little better since he shares very personal and intimate things. I'm waiting for its release date. Ben is very talented. I think that if I hadn't been an actor I could have easily been a singer, and what more can I say?!!! I admire him a lot for the person he is and that despite fame he has kept his feet on the ground and although it could be believed for many things, he always remains humble, kind to everyone and faithful to himself and what he believes. and in a difficult and demanding industry, he has maintained his integrity away from scandals and lives a healthy life,That's why I really question myself and can't understand how this wonderful, beautiful man is still single, which leads me to believe that maybe he has someone secretly because there really is no way he's still single. And part of my theory that is quite sustainable in part to things that he himself has mentioned, is that he prefers to keep something as intimate and personal as a relationship private and only for himself and he really wants to protect his partner from the media and from Some people can be really cruel on the Internet, as has been seen with other celebrities when they make their love relationship public. And thanks to something he said in an interview a year or two ago, he wouldn't make it public until he found that person he really wanted to marry. And after listening to his songs I can see that he has definitely fallen in love many times and unfortunately and sadly he has also been hurt in the process and has had his heart broken more than once, but he has always risen up, learned from those experiences and not He has become bitter and has not given up either, he is still looking for love and having a family. So he has definitely had several relationships but has never made them public. Tell me what you think, I would like to know outside opinions hahaha and I understand that maybe not everyone is a fan of Ben, but this man really intrigues and surprises me every day❤️❤️❤️❤️
I apologize in advance if there are any errors, I am not fluent in English yet.😬🫣
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hyvnjinns · 3 months
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Hi! If I wanted to get into stray kids where should I start?
Oh my goodness anon, I'm so thrilled to receive this ask!! ❤️ Apologies in advance for the long reply ahead, and please don't hesitate to ever send in any other asks if you need clarification or have any other questions! I'm always happy to talk about Stray Kids ^^
I'd say the first place to start depends on whether you are already a kpop fan! If you aren't, it might be helpful--but not required at all!--to take a look at some guides to kpop to get an idea of what people mean when they talk about liners, generations, bias wreckers and daesangs. A good starting place is the kpopfairy carrd--it's a very good introduction to the terminology and culture you might encounter if you choose to become a more dedicated SKZ fan (side note: SKZ is the abbreviation for Stray Kids!).
In terms of getting into their music: a lot of their discography is heavily influenced by trap/EDM and even, notably, psychedelic trance (Side Effects--probably one of their most polarizing songs. It's incredible live though, I have to say). But even if those genres aren't quite your thing (they aren't always mine!), SKZ have one of the most diverse discographies in KPOP and almost certainly most Western groups. The music is almost completely self-produced by three of their members, and their lyrics often focus on issues like growing up and mental health. They have 18 albums + EPs + repackages in total, so the discography can be a bit overwhelming. I recommend watching their most popular title tracks--for instance, God's Menu (2020), the song about their unique musical style that catapulted them to fame both inside and outside of the KPOP circle. I also recommend a video that speedruns their songs across genres, like this one, to get an idea of their varied sound! As far as personal recommendations go, I love Phobia, Cover Me, Winter Falls, Haven, N/S, and SUPER BOARD. And, if you're into something a bit more...mature, Red Lights (a subunit song featuring only 2 out of 8 members) is their most-watched music video ever. Not only is the song amazing (and horny!), but the MV was directed by a queer Korean director who incorporates some kink elements in his work, and it's incredibly sexy. (And pretty rare to see something like that in KPOP, tbh.)
As is common in KPOP, Stray Kids have a lot of "variety" content--their SKZ-Talker series goes behind-the-scenes of award shows and when they're on tour, they sometimes do individual vlogs showcasing days in their life, and on and on! There's also their main variety show, SKZ CODE, where the content ranges from them solving murder mysteries, doing drag for an elaborate "SKZ Family" skit, or playing baseball. While all of these shows are hilarious and very fun to watch, they can be pretty overwhelming at first due to trying to tell everyone apart + reading subtitles while 8 men are shouting all at once! My biggest recommendation is to start by watching some fanmade Intro to SKZ videos like this one or this one. They're not entirely up-to-date (for one, Chan doesn't do Chan's Room anymore, which is tremendously sad), but they provide a great insight into the members' info and personalities. There's also this video which was a godsend when I was trying to figure out who's who! Once you feel comfortable enough with that, it is pretty easy to start watching some of their variety content, especially if you begin with individual vlogs where it's generally just one member!
I hope this makes sense and isn't overwhelming--I know it seems like a bit much since there's a huge amount of content from them! There's absolutely no pressure to consume all of it; I've been a fan for four years now and there's definitely still things I haven't seen and probably never will. Stays (the name for SKZ fans) are also by and large very accepting of casual fans who aren't hugely active within the fandom, and the SKZ Reddit in particular is really welcoming/drama-free with an entire weekly thread for new fans called "Baby Stays" where people can chat with others and ask questions. Have fun!! 💙
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