#these are not just 'meh i hated it' i tried to be as comprehensive as possible lol

[explodingcrayon]

OKAY here are my Critical Thoughts about TLTTK which I still think is a really good, entertaining show and I kind of want to read the original book now... Obviously there are differences between the two as with any adaptation, but it’s a good story all the same!!

Major spoilers under the cut for the netflix series!!

Alright so my biggest issue is with the last two episodes, mainly with the last episode. Pacing was good the entire show until this last episode where they had to wrap everything up and end it. Which left it feeling like... weird? It felt “complete” but also there was so much that was left just empty?

I wish we had seen more Eviellan stuff (the place, characters from there, the actual conflict that they were suffering, etc.) but I guess I also understand why we didn’t, as Tiuri was the focus of the story? But considering the war was uhhh SIGNIFICANT to them, I wish that wasn’t glossed over as it was the more the story progressed. It kind’a makes me angry the more I think about it tbh LOL

His mom was locked up and that was a big thing in the beginning and then last 5 minutes we’re back home and everyone is being knighted and she’s just okay LMAO We don’t see her being released, reuniting with Tiuri, any moments or nods to Tiuri Sr. ... Idk, she was a tertiary character and that’s why IG

Honestly all the tertiary characters felt so empty at the end of the day LMAO The nobles in particular felt so pointless. Alianor gets caught by Viridian and then she just shows up fine in the epilogue. So like what happened to her??? Did he just knock her out or put her to the side or??? Why was she snooping anyway???? She accomplished nothing and was just sort of ~there~ the whole story. It made it seem like the alliance was going to be a bigger deal and then ended up being 100% irrelevant.

(Also with the alliance... this seemed so backwards??? Viridian, the son that was leading Unauwen’s army and fighting directly for it should have been given the throne, while Iridian was shipped off to ally with Dagonaut??? That makes way more sense??? But also seemed like it was going to be a bigger conflict than it was????? As in it didn’t matter at all????)

Likewise Iridian had no real role outside of his relationship to Alianor and his suspicions of his brother. And considering Alianor herself was p irrelevant in the plot, he could have been fine as a character without her. (And even then, his role in the story was minimal and he felt like milquetoast prince trope)

Bury Your Gays 😒

^But also like REALLY SUPER AVOIDABLE???? AND THAT JUST MAKES IT WORSE??? Tiuri survived with a stab wound for like 2 days at LEAST but Jisuppo dies 30 minutes later??? What, my boy’s not worthy of plot armor 10 minutes before the end??? Hate this shit ldksjfa

TBH I understand why they had to kill off all the coolest characters bc then it leaves Tiuri to be the protagonist, but also please stop killing the cool characters I want to see a story with them in it aaaahhh

I LOVED that we think Viridian is just a power-hungry general-prince until the last moment when we realize like. Oh. He was sent to conquer this other nation and being the one of the front lines with them, he’s pissed over how needless and cruel it is to both the Eviellans and his own soldiers. He wants to put a stop to conflict altogether, albeit in a really terrible way. He genuinely thinks he’s the hero of the story when instead he’s putting himself in the prophecy’s role of villain. That’s!! Super interesting!! He’s still not sympathetic as a villain, but I GET him. ...So it’d be nice if the epilogue had some sort of nod from the surviving King / upcoming prince Iridian that like “damn we fucked up with this whole war, maybe we should work harder to not be asshole monarchs and take care of our people + work towards peace and reparations.” Nope! Nothing of the sort.

In general it feels like there’s no real overarching closure with half the subplots? Mostly the background stuff: the nobles, the war, Lavinia’s road & mom, etc.

Where did Jabroot go???? Was he killed?? Did he get to keep hanging out?? Arrested???

The twist at the end of episode 5 is literally explained with a throwaway exposition line at the start of episode 6. Paraphrased, “So the magic works like this bc of this!” ???? I MEAN GREAT BUT COULD WE NOT GET MORE DETAIL ON THAT SINCE IT’S KIND OF A BIG DEAL??????

I LOVED the twist and HATED it. I loved it bc I genuinely did not see it coming and that is so rare tbh... But I also hated it for a lot of reasons which I will detail below:

1. It feels very like. White Savior area. The deuteragonist white character is literally the shining white light to defeat the darkness when my boy Tiuri has been RIGHT THERE,,, THE WHOLE TIME,,, DOIN’ ALL THE HARD WORK,,, Tiuri was a great MC and hero and he should’ve been the one with the magic, tbh

2a. It’s literally not explained. “So the magic is all around us, it’s not in blood!” Except the people who originated and routinely use the magic say otherwise?? So a 10 yo knows more about it than a civilization and culture that essentially founded it as tradition??? (Who, btw, are the POC versus the White country HMMM)

2b. Okay so even given that,, weirdness,, The magic is something everyone can access, you just Gotta. So you still have to answer what makes Lavinia so special??? Has she always had these powers?? Did they first manifest in the abbey (or the fog leading up to the abbey)??? Why did they manifest?? Is it just through high emotions like she said? Did her mother have magic too?? Where did this come from??

2c. Tiuri DOES have SOME connection to magic, because even as they said, he was hearing voices and such from it... So how is his magic different? How does it work? WAS his birth father a Shaman or was the audience just meant to infer/assume that? His mother seemed to know all about this stuff going on, so??????? I’m????? So many questions?????

--

NOW I WILL SAY... I did not read the book, or see if this is a book series or just a standalone or anything like that. So I don’t know how the story goes exactly when compared to this Netflix adaptation — how much they changed, or how much they left out. Maybe the denouement and epilogue were more informative than what they had time for in the show. But after some really great episodes leading up to the final culmination...! It kind of left me feeling, “hm :/“

So I still recommend it as a show and form your own opinion (esp if you read the book and have full context to the story)! But those are my hm >:/ gripes with it

[quirklessidiot]

What are your most hated romance and shojo cliches?

Probably when the dude tries to be too rough on the girl? Idk why people scream at that. Its just messed up. Another would be when its enemies to lovers but the other party is just a bully and the other is a victim… thats…thats not it? (Unless if theyre both bullying each other das gud shit)

Also um when the girl is too forgiving despite the guy doing something too meh. Shoujo’s are targeted for girls aged 13-16, at this time, teens do not have the full comprehension on things (theyre not mature for ur age, no ones mature for their age and the ones who usually say that are the immature ones) so it sends out a wrong message to them and they might think they’re green flags or something. I can attest that back when i was in Junior high, some girls (when wattpad was at its peak) saw possessiveness and too much jealousy as something that was good. It was pretty messed up in my point of view and i wondered how a lot of them stayed in relationships despite it getting too controlling.

[luckyfirerabbit]

Jaune Doe Pt 3

(It’s a little janky, but meh)

It will be a few days before Blake gets back to her with anything in regards to the photo, and in the mean time Pyrrha will keep up with Jaune Doe’s slow but steady recovery. Sahv brings her somewhat regular reports - “I think he’s a musician, his fingers move to my music when he’s sleeping”-, and though Billy lets her know that he’s been conscious and responsive the last day or so, she has yet to visit his room again. She doesn’t feel like it’s her place just yet, never mind that she’s in charge of patient advocacy; surely the poor man wants time to himself to process his situation without a stranger bothering him. He’s likely had enough of that just with doctors and nurses and security guards.

Ren and Nora haven’t been able to get an official statement from him either, not until he’s deemed healthy enough for it.

So Pyrrha makes ample time to study his file at length and run it across Blake -when she’s available- as to what it all could mean. Being a psychologist, Blake had incredible insight, and her experience with trauma survivors is just icing on the cake. At least, it certainly would be if Blake hadn’t looked so dour when the she and Pyrrha met in Pyrrha’s office.

“Everything okay?” Pyrrha asks gently, standing up on some unnamed reflex.

“Sit, this probably won’t be long.” Blake gestures with her hand, putting the other woman back in her chair while she closes the door behind her. She’ll cross the floor with no real hurry to prop on the edge of Pyrrha’s desk, appearing comfortably perched. “I checked with the folks at the parlor, they didn’t have anything. Turns out, this particular brand of body modification is illegal in Argus, so none of my guys knew a guy who knew a guy.” she chuckles lightly.

“Oh. Okay…but,” Pyrrha hesitates, “what’s the matter?”

Blake’s ears flip back. “…Yang might know Jaune Doe.”

Pyrrha’s brows rise and her eyes widen. “Really?”

“Yeah, but don’t get too excited, she kind of hit a depressive spiral after seeing the photos. It’s going to be a while before she’ll be okay to talk to him.” It’ll be a while before he can talk at all, so it’s fine. “I’m sorry, Blake, is there anything I can do?”

“She wanted to help, don’t beat yourself up about it. But,” she tips her chin and her ears slant forward, “this brings to mind what I said before, that thing about you maybe not liking what you find.”

Pyrrha’s brow knits in the middle. “I’d be worried if I did like it. Gods have mercy,”

“Sorry I couldn’t find more for you, though.”

“But it’s still a lot, Blake, thank you so much. And tell Yang I owe her big time. If you two need anything,”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Blake smiles softly, her ears up and neutral. “Anything else I can do?”

“Just take care of Yang, I know she needs it.”

Blake nods, sliding to her feet. “So have you talked to your guy yet?”

“Not yet, soon maybe. I mean, he’ll be here a while.” Pyrrha tries not to laugh, but a little giggle slinks through. “And what’s this my guy talk?”

“I mean, he’s a patient, you’re his advocate, and he’s your only case right now. He’s your guy.”

“But the way you say it,” she giggles again, a little louder, “so suggestive.”

“Now, Pyrrha, I’m a professional,” Blake bats her eyes and throws the most innocent look she can at the lawyer, “and I know nothing can come between you and your cat.”

“Pfft, I’m a divorcee, not an old woman.” Pyrrha rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Later, wonder woman. I’ll keep in touch.”

–

Everything hurts, at least, that’s how his addled brain translates the buzzing in his nerves. Sure enough it is pain, but it’s being filtered through a screen of morphine. He still feels the sharp prodding of his broken ribs when he takes a breath too deep, or when he shifts just right to aggravate the lump near the base of his skull, but the drugs keep them mostly quiet, enough for him to sleep when the doctors let him. He hates that they still wake him up in accordance to some kind of schedule, but he’s too scared to say anything about it. He’s too scared about a lot of things, been too scared for too long to believe he’s safe here. That he could be safe anywhere. It’s why his pulse shoots up whenever anyone enters his room, doesn’t matter who it is. Even the custodian, the littlest old lady he’s sure he’s ever seen, made him jump.

Every time someone wakes him they have questions -How are you feeling? Do you know what day it is? What year is it? What’s your name?- and he answers them as best he can. They keep asking, he keeps answering, and he would probably be annoyed by it by now if he could keep track of the ones he had answered and which ones he had forgotten. Even without the blow to the head he feels more than remembers, he knows he wouldn’t have most of the answers. His life had felt like a hectic blur for a while now, and while he remembers most of that fever dream, he’s forgotten so much of himself.

His dreams are full of music and faces and places that don’t make his heart race, but he has no explanation as to why they’re there -what they mean to him. So he focuses on the music to help him sleep, it quiets his mind enough to let the exhaustion through to drag him under and keep him there. He has yet to meet the person who owns the scroll emitting the sounds, but he thinks he should thank them. He will, so long as their mere presence doesn’t scare him silent; like it had with those cops this morning.

The next time he remembers waking up, the music has stopped, the abrupt stillness in the air making him blink into awareness.

“Evening, sir, sorry if I woke you.”

Only his eyes move, sliding to one side to follow the sound and focus on the incredible form occupying the once empty space beside his bed. Already panic is knotting in his chest and he feels trapped in his bed. His hands that were once resting flat against his stomach have curled into fists.

“I’m Sahv Starborough,” she hasn’t missed the change in him, turning on the softest voice she can, “I just came by for my scroll, I kind of need it now. But I got you a little something.”

He just watches her, his gaze jumping quickly from her huge hands to her tusks and back again. She’s unplugging the scroll and replacing the device with a smaller one.

“This just plays music, but it has all the Caravaan tunes just like my scroll. You can even take it with you when you’re discharged if you want.”

“…Th-thank you.” it’s raspy and broken, but comprehensible.

Sahv lights up a little, smiling at him, but not too much. “You’re very welcome.” She finishes setting up the device, lingering just long enough to set the volume to where it had been on her scroll. “I’m here all night if you need anything else.”

He just nods and watches her leave, finally letting himself relax again once her shadow slips out through the door after her. He tries to focus on the music again, doing so with such ease that he doesn’t notice when he falls asleep.

When he wakes this time it’s morning, at least he assumes by the pale light coming through the space between the curtains. There’s someone else in the room again, but just as the knot in his chest starts to wind up, it releases. Somehow he recognizes those eyes, soft green ones that he would have sworn he dreamed up.

Pyrrha smiles reflexively when she realizes he’s awake and looking at her, pausing just inside the room. “Hello again.”

His brow furrows, puzzled. Again? Maybe it really hadn’t been a dream.

That smile falters when he doesn’t answer. “I’m sorry, do you want me to go?”

He swallows, shutting his eyes for a second. “Do you know me?” he croaks.

“Hm?”

“You said my name before.”

“Oh, well, no, I’m sorry. I’ve only read your file.”

“Oh.” The idea of being on file is discomforting, but he ignores it for now. “Do you have questions for me too?”

“Not really, not at the moment. I just thought I would come and introduce myself, maybe talk a little if you were feeling up to it.”

“Talk about what?”

“Whatever, I suppose.” Pyrrha is mentally berating herself for her apparent lack of professional air. For all intents and purposes, this was her client, you don’t just talk about “whatever” with clients.

“So who are you? You work here?”

“I do.” She chances to take a few steps closer. “I’m Pyrrha Nikos and I’m the legal adviser for the hospital. I’m also head of the patient advocacy department and in charge of your case.”

He swallows again, the corner of his mouth kinking upward just a little. Almost missable. “Didn’t think a druggie warranted that much.”

“Well, seeing as you really don’t…have any one else to represent you at the moment, at least until your memory recovers, I’ll be acting in that capacity between you and the hospital. I’ll handle all the legal matters of your case -working with the police and whatnot- as well as seeing to it your best interests and personal rights are upheld while you’re being treated.”

“…I hope you don’t expect me to pay you.” Because he just remembered all he owned was a pair of pants.

“Don’t worry about that.” Pyrrha laughs. “I’m just here to help.”

What a nice sound. What a nice smile. “Gods know I need all I can get.”

She didn’t want to agree with him too readily, no matter how right he was, so she just nods with inching shoulders. “Do you have any other questions for me? Otherwise I’ll stop bothering you and let you rest.”

He tries to think for a moment, his thoughts breaking up like he’s trying to grab at threads of smoke. “Not now, thank you.”

“Of course. If you should change your mind, you can have someone page me. My office is just downstairs.”

“Okay.” he tries a nod of his own, a stiff dip of his chin. “Nice meeting you, Mrs. Nikos.”

“Oh no, miss, and it’s just Pyrrha, if that’s okay with you.”

“Okay, just Pyrrha.” he likes hearing her laugh again.

“And is it all right if I call you Jaune?”

“It’s the only name I have right now, so yeah.”

Her cheeks redden a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t… It was nice meeting you too. Could I come by later, or maybe tomorrow would be better?”

“Tomorrow. Yeah, probably.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow.”

Billy is at the nurse’s station down the hall from Jaune Doe’s room, can see down either end of the corridor from there. But they also have leave to watch the monitor feeds for each of the rooms, see the cardiotach for all of the patients. They had noticed the pattern of spikes in Jaune’s heart rate whenever someone went into his room and he happened to be awake, and as observant as they are, there was no way even Pyrrha could slip in or out of there without them knowing.

“Hey, Velv, check this out.”

Rabbit ears flit upright from over the counter, Velvet having just straightened from picking up a dropped file form the floor. She quickly rounds the desk and props up on her fellow Faunus’ stout shoulder, taking a look at the numbers on the screen in front of them.

“What is it?”

“Look at Doe’s read-out.”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“It hasn’t changed in the last five minutes or so.”

“So?”

“Pyrrha was in there just now.”

“So?”

“And he was awake, camera showed the two of them talking.”

“…Oh. Well isn’t that something?” Velvet straightens and stretches with a little chuckle. “But it’s Pyrrha; she’s so sweet she could fill our diabetic ward to capacity overnight.”

Billy laughs.

“Makes you wonder how she ended up with that shitty ex of hers.”

“At least he’s an ex now, though, right?”

“Right.” Velvet nods once, decisive. “I’m hopping across the street for coffee, want some?”

“Says the Rabbit.”

“Oh eat me.” Velvet’s ears snap back, but she’s smiling.

“But I would love some, just make sure it’s decaff, please, this ticker can’t do high octane anymore.”

“You got it.”

Billy goes back to the monitors after passing Velvet a few Lien for her trouble. They watch Doe’s numbers a little longer, thinking and smirking to themselves. It’s good, they think; if that poor kid was going to be easy around anyone, it might as well be Pyrrha.

[janiedean]

hello!! I would *love* to know what it is about Bruce Springsteen’s music that you like so much (I swear this isn’t hate/trying to start an argument also!!)

OKAY SO THIS IS GONNA BE LONG

anyway it’s a lot of things honestly but if we want to make a non comprehensive list

he’s... viscerally honest? in the sense that one of the things that caught my attention when it came to bruce is that whatever he sings he means it and you can hear it from thirty seconds of it, and if you see him live it’s just even better, and as someone who prefers listening to people who write their own music for a lot of reasons but the chief one is that to me music is a thing I really relate to, I prefer listening to people who put themselves in their music you know, which is why bruce is just... that... much good when it comes to it for me

he has a gift for making relatable situations that you never experienced that I don’t think anyone else in music has, I mean... just take youngstown which is in my top ten bruce songs ever - I don’t come from the US, I never set foot in ohio and I don’t even know how the fuck does a steel factory work, but it doesn’t matter because if you hear that song you feel for the people in it almost like you knew them yourself and that’s a thing that just speaks to me and he isn’t from that background either but he could manage anyway, and tbh it’s kind of what I would like to be able to do with prose at any given time

musically he’s just... generally my thing, I mean when it comes to choice of melody/arrangements and so on but then again that is my genre so

I generally love how much of himself he puts into his songs - that’s tangential to point one but I mean, the thing is that he also makes his experiences viscerally relatable and the fact that one of the core themes of his work is how horrible it is to be stuck in a point in your life that you hate/feel unfulfilled in and where you can’t try to make your dreams come true which is one of the most common experiences you’ll ever find because all of us have been there makes it so that if it was cathartic for him then it’s also cathartic for the listener

that can work also for the other core themes - your relationship with your parents, relationship troubles, wanting to just get on a car and drive into the night and fuck everything, wanting something that makes you happy etc, it’s all just so well-punt in relatable terms that it just gets to you (I mean if you watch blinded by the light it makes it exceedingly clear, because that is why the pakistani kid living near london actually feels connected to bruce who’s an american dude from a blue collar family in nj) that you can’t help just feeling like he gets you

which is also a general thing because one of my Fixed Bruce Experiences is that yes it feels like he’s saying those things to me specifically even if I know he’s not objectively, and like... feeling like your favorite singer sees you and understands you and at the same time gives you an all new perspective on things you didn’t know is just... An Experience

with that I mean that before I listened to springsteen I didn’t know shit about a lot of things - for one I got sucked into reading about the vietnam war because of born in the usa, I read the grapes of wrath which is now top five novels for me because of the ghost of tom joad, I started reading dale maharidge’s books because of youngstown, I started reading up about racism/police brutality in the us because of american skin because when he was singing about his country in the way you do when you love your country and you criticize the shit out of it because you do (which is a thing I 100% relate to ie I love my country but I also could criticize the shit out of it for years because I do) then you wanted to learn more about it and it broadened my knowledge on a lot of things/got me interested in so many subjects (count that I’ve been into bruce since I was like twelve so it’s been almost twenty years now) and I’ll be thankful for that forever because being interested in those things at the moments it happened was... formative in a lot of ways and honestly I don’t wanna say that listening to springsteen made me realize idealizing things was Not A Good Idea but it was... part of it

I didn’t understand that specifically until I read his autobiography where he was blatantly open about how he struggled with mental health issues and how he channeled his coping into writing music knowing it was what he was good at, but in retrospective the fact that he did put those issues in music even if I didn’t know they were there is probably another reason why he was relatable (we don’t have the same issues but I could relate on... a lot of things he said tbh) and honestly I respect him madly for having had the guts to go out all in the open with it

I love how he can write about like anything from his parents to class struggles to everything in nebraska to psychological consequences to wars in the people who fight them to actually nice feelgood songs to actual realistic love songs and he never sounds like he’s doing that without knowing what he’s doing... because he actually does

in retrospective he put into music one of my favorite pieces of literature ever so thanks bruce for that (I mean I listened to ghost of tom joad before reading grapes of wrath but tom’s speech is still... a piece of literature that kills me on a molecular level)

about the realistic love songs thing... I generally am never going to get over how he’s one of the few people around whose love songs don’t sound like generic ballad thing but they’re all... actually very down to earth and realistic and they don’t exactly try to tell you that Love Is Perfect And Amazing And Flawless? idk how to explain it but like... thunder road is about two fucked up people one of which isn’t even attractive trying to get a better life and sort of same for born to run which isn’t even a love song per se, rosalita is fun but you know from the get-go that the guy doesn’t have money to his name, there’s literally no song in springsteen catalogue that doesn’t tell you that Being In Love is easy and you don’t have to put work into it, and the only 100% happy ones are the ones just after he married the woman of his life and anyway they’re still more sincere than 90% of the stereotypical love songs around and I just... really respect that? because while i’ll like my sappy love song ™️ if it’s good, his just... are a whole other level

(this would require another rant on why tunnel of love is my subjectively favorite record of his because of how he cracks open and turns over the subject without sparing any ugliness from it nor all the issues he was having in his marriage and how listening to it you would know that marriage wasn’t going to last and he still went and put it on record for everyone to hear and... as stated I really just have endless respect for people who can do that with their experiences while making them universally relatable)

he’s seventy and he’s still putting all of himself into it? like in the last twenty years (ie since I’ve followed him) he did the folk songs record, some seven world tours where he played 3+ hours, the broadway show where he also opened up same as he did in the book about his songs and himself and it was just beautiful, the western stars movie along with WS being a concept album in itself and a damn good one, all his records have tried something new for him regardless of how good it came out or not and he’s still going strong and I just really admire how he can still do all of that while not having sold out to anyone and having stayed true to what his music was in the beginning

also: 3+ hours long shows. like guys if you haven’t been to a bruce concert... idk how to put it but when I say that going to a bruce concert is the closest I’ll ever get to a religious experience I’m not exaggerating. I really truly absolutely know I’ll never get standard religious experiences but I suppose that’s how bruce concerts are for me - it’s just, you’re there with 40k+ other people all of which are feeling like he’s singing straight to them because that’s how good he is and even if maybe song 1 means something to you and something else to the guy next to you you’ll still be there with your heart having grown four sizes anyway for different reasons because Bruce Is Speaking To You and it’s just... something else. like I know people who were meh about bruce who went to a concert and came out of it OH I SAW THE LIGHT CAN YOU LEND ME YOUR RECORDS and that’s exactly how it is

tldr: bruce is an amazing performer and lyricist and musician who is straight-up honest and true to his love for his own music who’ll manage to make everything relatable and who’ll sing like he’s talking to you specifically and again, when I watched blinded by the light it got it perfectly and reading the book it was based on was A Trip because here I was nodding along to an autobiography from a british guy originally from pakistan and his sikh friend also from britain who spoke about bruce and what he meant to them and they said the exact same things I felt about bruce - like the guy is that good that he can connect to virtually everyone and will make you feel like you have some kind of thing in common with people that are wholly different from you because bruce speaks to you both and that’s... not an easy thing to run into. like, you have to be real good to manage that. and... he is. he just is.

[theboyswithasparebitofparchment]

Fantastic Beasts 2: Review

So, I just watched Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald.  

And oh boy do I have something(S) to say...

Warning spoilers

The movie started off well: the orchestrated Grindelwald escape included the classic switcheroo vis a vis with Polyjuice, mid-air thestral-pulled-carriage fiasco and the pointless extermination of a weird lizard-like creature. (which I don’t understand why it was included at all, as its specimen wasn’t explained, and it served no purpose to the story)

And it went downhill very fast from there.  

I can’t even begin to explain the plot, as this movie had a billion subplots, unnecessary twists and too many infant murders for it to be comprehensible.  

Unlike the first installation, this movie had barely anything to do with actual beasts or the OG squad (Newt, Tina, Queenie and Jacob).  

But, it does includes Jacob under the influence of a love potion, France (need I say more), a wizard freakshow, Credence sad, human Nagini tagging along with said sad boy, Grindelwald killing French people ( babies too) and a giant Chinese lion-like creature (Zouwu: freaky eyes, quite cute, can run really fast)

I didn’t necessarily hate the movie though.

Some scenes were rather enjoyable I.e. the introduction of the aforementioned, Zouwu and a giant seaweed thing that Newt rides underwater.  

And I must admit, I did freak out in my chair when they showed FREAKING HOGWARTS with James Newton Howards’ ‘Hedwigs Theme’ playing alongside (I must admit, I did have goosebumps)

And yes, it was visually beautiful: Daniel Yates did a phenomenal job at directing it and piecing it together.

Despite all this...

the plot was lost, unstructured and confusing which probably led it to be boring.  

And these are my reasons why:

the embodiment of good, kindness and acceptance, goes haywire, barely gets any attention, becomes insecure in her relationship that is more than great and goes towards the dark side after a few minutes of talking to Grindelwald. Queenie Goldstein did not deserve that.

Dumbledore served no purpose, was barely on screen and again gave full responsibility in taking down a powerful, evil wizard, to a student. C'mon bro.

Leta Lestrange served no purpose to the story other than to reveal right at the end that she killed her half-brother baby, that her other half-brother is trying to kill, whom he thinks is Credence. (Confused? Me too)

Unnecessary baby killings.

Queerbaiting. Regarding each other as ‘more than brothers’ and then capturing Dumbledore seeing Grindelwald in the Mirror of Erised, thinking there’s more to it than that but it’s just so Rowling could mention their blood pact, nothing more.

Too many obscure side characters that served zero purposes to the story and were mentioned once and never showed up for the rest of the film. I.e the American minister of magic, every one of Grindelwald’s right- hand men and women, Newts co-worker, the entire ministry workers, the half-elf woman and red-haired woman that got avada-kedavared.

Main characters got lost as their characters weren’t well explained due to very little screen time and poor execution by writers I.e Theseus Scamander, Nagini, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Grindelwald, Leta, Yusuf (and family) etc.

Grindelwald was an ‘okay’ villain but he wasn’t really a standout villain: he kind of had no real authoritative demeanour or stature to him. He was just... meh.

The DAMN Timelines:  McGonagall was born in 1935 and the movie was set in 1927 ( unless she was a relative)

Dumbledore was a Transfiguration teacher before he was headmaster, not a DADA professor.  

Credence, again, served no purpose and was super annoying in the film, if I'm being honest.  I do feel for his character, as people are constantly manipulating him for him to side with them and are toying with his mental and physical health. All he wants is to find out who he is. I want to give him a hug, but he got boring and whiny real fast. Possibly due to bad script writing, sorry buddy.

But him being a relative if Dumbledore?!!!? Unforgivable.There were only three siblings: Aberforth, Ariana and Albus: who the fuck is Aurelius? (Which leads me to believe that Grindelwald was lying to him so he conspires against Dumbledore and gets Credence to kill him).  

I think the movies real crime was getting Rowling to write the screenplay.  Because, as much as I love her, she set it out as a novel, which is not a bad thing, but in cinematic format, it doesn’t work as well.  

The reason why the OG Potter films were such a hit was that they managed to condense it into bitesize chunks. Sure, they cut stuff out, but they made references towards it and in turn, made it well suited for cinema, which is why so many people liked them (you didn’t have to be a die-hard Potter fan to like and follow the story) They’re a pale reflection of the books, not an exact copy. (which I find best, in my opinion, as it saves that little extra magic preserved in its original source: the books)  

I feel like Rowling forgot what she originally wrote about and so tried to piece it together from scratch but it just didn’t work (as it didn’t go by unnoticed) 

She can’t pick and choose different plots without first fully explaining the original; it leads to confusion and annoyance.

I feel like she’s trying to combine two completely different stories into one, which isn’t great, for me anyway.  

I would just have enjoyed a series (or one movie) solely based on the bumbling, lovable zoologist that showcased his vibrant and brilliant view of the weird and wonderful creatures around him and join the adventures he embarks with his friends (and maybe a few small nods to the OG Harry Potter realm) but remain separate from it and stand on its own.  

Or create just a prequel to the Harry Potter series and focus only on the origin story of Dumbledore and his battle and complicated relationship with Grindelwald and family. Trying to mix both? It’s a no from me, unfortunately.  

The one thing that bugged me, was when I left the cinema...

I didn’t have that FEELING.

You know, feeling infinite, as though you can take on the world (after watching a great movie).

However, I was just left feeling disappointed and confused.

I really enjoyed the first film but this movie missed the mark for me. I hope the final instalments are better and slightly less confusing but unlike Professor Trewlawney, I do not possess the noble art of divination, so I do not know for certain.

[modernart2012]

My Doctor Told Me To Murder People (How to Reduce Your Stress)

for @fiery-chicken

On AO3

or, Where everyone is in medicine and Yuri is this close to murderizing everyone with a scalpel. 

Yuri was going to murder the attendings. This was surgery not eye fucking over the surgery table. Okay, sure Dr. Katsuki had a graceful and elegant suture on the operating table,  but fucking Viktor didn't need to contaminate the field with his DROOL over it. Maybe if he made desperate enough eyes at Dr. Baranovskaya she would kick Viktor in his gluteus maximus with the end of her pointy pointy high heels.

 No such luck; instead the tumor was excised and field sterilized for final closure. Yuri had to extend sympathy for the poor sot. Gets his leg crushed by an I-beam and gets diagnosed with Stage 3 leukemia. Nothing says good times like disability and chemotherapy. And sepsis due to drool. He throws his surgical gown and mask in the biohazard cleaning bin, the gloves already trashed in the right trash can.

 He walks With Purpose towards the cafeteria. He needs a coffee stat. Anything to get the taste of someone being too lovey-dovey out of his mouth.

 He’s half through a espresso with caramel syrup and cinnamon when he’s paged. Why the ever loving fuck a surgical resident is being paged is beyond him - he’s a Year One resident, he’s got so fucking long in front of him before he's half qualified to be paged on his own. Hopefully it’s just something stupid simple like the demented patient they had to stick pins in pulled her stitches. He can take care of that no problem.

 Only it’s not. “You paged a resident for a piece of rebar sticking out of someone’s skull.” He’s breaking this down slowly for the Emergency Doctors, because sometimes they’re one harsh comment from bursting into tears or having a mental break and going on a mass killing spree and it’s hard to tell which it could be at any given moment. “This might just be me, but I’m not a neurosurgeon.” He points at the patient, strapped like a mummy to the bed. “That is definitely going through the brain.”

 The blank and glazed look from the Emergency Doctor gave Yuri everything he needed to know. “I’ll have the nurses page neurosurgery for you. Glad we had this talk.” He reaches out to pat him on the shoulder, then thinks better of it. Who knows what strange and nefarious diseases the Emergency personnel have? What new and subversive bacteria are percolating in the air? The best medicine is prevention after all,  and if Yuri doesn’t touch them he doesn’t have to  decontaminate himself to prevent infection.

 With this in mind Yuri takes the rest of his lunch break to dash up the secret ENT stairs - or the stairs ENT residents and fellows conspired hide behind the perpetually out of order vending machine, the one that's really just a facade to the door to the secret stairs and that the ENTs horde to themselves - from the ground floor to the 5th in order to hide in Otabek’s office. Because Otabek might be the last sane man in this whole damn hospital (including everyone but Dr. Baranovskaya, who is a legend and Yuri will begrudgingly worship at her feet in honor of the superior orthopedic surgery skills she has deemed him almost worthy of inheriting).

 Otabek looks up from an MRI of a skull, “Rough day?” In a practiced move, Yuri hauls out the only comfy extra stool in the ENT lounge - a space that previously held the hospital refrigerators for the morgue until the morgue got sent to the basement, that is technically on the hospital blueprints as housing a supply closet because the ENTs managed to persuade the administration they needed a 9 foot by 16 foot by 10 foot space for the oh so many supplies they need. They even had a twin bed at the ready, for the residents and fellows who had 28 hour call, unlike the “hospitality” suite for the other speciality residents and doctors. “Yura, you hate ears, noses, and throats, and the little kids and elderly who normally have problems with them.”

 It's like Otabek can read his mind, Yuri was about to think about how he'd gone into the wrong speciality. He takes the proffered mug of caffeine - the good fancy Godiva hazelnut stuff that tastes like pure sugar - and sips at it carefully. Besides, he wouldn't trade training under Dr. Yakov and Dr. Baranovskaya for the world - even given Viktor and his idiotic infatuation with Dr. Katsuki at its worst in the operating theaters. Still, for want of maintaining his reputation, he glares daggers and flaming hellscapes of death over the rim of the cup. “I accept that you are attempting to placate me. I will deign to let you believe that it is working in exchange for a foot rub.” He knows Otabek is laughing at him, because Otabek always laughs at his best Potya impression - spoiled brat of a cat really, Yuri wouldn’t trade her for anything - and usually gives Yuri a foot rub. Long surgeries in those stupid pinchy dress shoes Dr. Yakov insisted upon. Yuri hadn’t had time to go buy any Dr. Scholl’s or the gel heel guards, and it took its toll.

“Eat your lunch, “ Otabek chides instead and turns back to the MRI.

 Yuri frowns and leans over to peer at the lightbox. “Is that...?”

 Otabek nods. “5mm tumor in a 3 year old’s skull. It’s pressing on the child’s ear canal enough to cause hearing impairment.” Which means Otabek has to break it to a kid and  their parents he needs surgery - because it could be benign and any number of things that aren’t cancer, but it’s equally likely that it could be malignant and then you have to consider treatment options, but those are both discounting the fact that the tumor might have (probably) caused permanent hearing damage. Kid ear bones are still malleable, after all. But it also means Yuri gets to watch tumor removal from the pediatric surgeons. It’s a lose-win situation, one that’s more lose than win.

 It’s easy enough to set aside his coffee and gather Otabek close. Curl around him like his Deda did to Yuri when Yuri was much smaller and much much angrier with the world. Yuri rocks back and forth like the metronome Otabek used once when he tried to teach Yuri the C scale on  a piano, steady to Otabek’s turmoil. “We didn’t go into medicine for this.”

 “No.” They didn’t. Not for the money or the prestige, but to help people, give them better lives. Some days that was harder to hold on to than others. He hears Otabek’s breaths fall back into their usual calm rhythm - how funny that wild and temperamental Yuri was the surgeon under pressure and calm and steady Otabek was the ENT - then opens with. “So I’m pretty sure Viktor gave Dr. Baranovskaya’s patient sepsis in the OR.”

 It’s worth it to hear the full laugh that spills from Otabek’s chest in spurts and hiccoughs. “Please don’t murder Viktor. Dr. Katsuki would go back to being unapproachable and cold.” Because Dr. Katsuki was weirdly cold when in public and otherwise difficult to gauge unless otherwise engaged by Viktor.

 “Meh. I could take Katsuki and Viktor without getting caught.”

 “Careful Yura. Your Russian is showing.” They stay like that for one more moment, letting the physical comfort of human touch flood their brains with comforting hormones.

 Then Viktor - the ass - slammed open the door, startling both Yuri and Otabek but also Viktor. “Ah, Yuuri, the ENT suite is a no-go, it’s currently occupied! Maybe the chaise lounge in Yakov’s office?” Then as he was closing the door, he paused and threw a handful of condom packets at them. “Be safe kiddos!”

Yuri would definitely have chased after Viktor to kill him dead if not for the three condoms that had smacked themselves onto his person. “Cherry Flavored, Ribbed for her pleasure?” Otabek read out as he picked off the one from Yuri’s head. Then solemnly, “You’re free to kill Viktor now, but you might want to wait until tomorrow.” At Yuri’s puzzled look. “If that was Dr. Katsuki with him, he’s probably otherwise.... Engaged for murdering.” The lightbulb of comprehension comes on, and Yuri is furious. Yuri was going to murder all the attendings.

[octopuscato]

What do you think of Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter? I mean, seperately as individuals, not just as the marauders.

Sorry for the wait. I tried to make this longer because I really want to answer comprehensively, but … it’s too hot and also I don’t like talking about characters I dislike xD I don’t even want to give them the time of day.

Okay, here we go, very short answers, sorry again:1. Sirius: Meh. I feel for him concerning his situation with his family; it must have been terribly hard to grow up with such pureblood fanatics and to have to disown your family. I also definitely feel for him re: Azkaban - it’s something we can’t even imagine, and the info that he only survived halfway sane because he spent most of the time in his animagus form gives us just a glimps of how horrid it is. I still don’t like him, because - you know me: Severus. Sirius and James were viciously bullying him because they could, no reason needed, and also people who say, “Oh but he was only ~15 when the Shrieking Shack incident happened, he didn’t think it through, Remus was his friend and he spent every full moon with him, he didn’t think of the danger,” should probably activate their common sense. At that age you’re old enough to know what the hell you’re doing, and that he didn’t is speaking volumes about how immaturely arseholeish he was to somebody he disliked. Overall, I feel sorry for him because his life was shitty and stolen from him in every possible way, but he’s by no means a character I’m overly fond of.

2. Remus: I like him a lot. I’m not happy with how he stood by when his friends bullied Severus; it was a cowardly thing to do. But I do understand his motivation for it, on an intellectual level. I also think he was ridiculously irresponsible to forget his Wolfsbane in PoA - how can you forget something this important?! And then also, him offering - or more like begging - to go with the trio … it was childish and immature, trying to dodge his responsibilities. Now I’ve only criticised him after saying that I like him *lol* But I really do, because despite all these flaws he just struck a chord with me. He’s a great teacher, he’s the first somewhat “fatherly” figure Harry interacts with (I like him in that role better than Sirius), I have a soft spot for characters who’re portrayed as poor as he is, he’s been in a bad, ostracised situation all his life through no fault of his own (and for some reason I really love the cardigans they made him wear in the movies). I didn’t like him as much at first, but then I started reading Snupin fic and he grew on me ;)

3. James: I’ll keep this very short or I’ll go on a bitter and far too long rant about disgusting bullies perceived as saints in this fandom by people who clearly have neither reading comprehension nor empathy for bullying victims: Just no. Spoilt rich kid viciously bullying weird ugly poor kid BECAUSE HE EXISTS (that’s a fucking CANON quote by him), and that’s really almost all we get to see of him. He fights Voldemort, he dies to defend his family and I’d never deny it, and hey, he might have turned out great later on if he’d had the chance, who knows. But I just didn’t like him in canon, and fandom’s veneration of Holy St. James Who Can Do No Wrong has given me a hate-boner of epic proportions. Tl;dr: Do. Not. Want.

4. Peter: He’s such a pathetic coward. I keep wondering why he didn’t just LEAVE ENGLAND when Voldemort had died the first time. WHY? What’s the motivation behind living as somebody’s pet rat when you could just up and leave and never look back? (Okay, I suspect JKR never much thought about it because she needed him there for plot reasons, but still, I do wonder.) Anyway, so he caved in to Voldemort and betrayed his friends - which is terrible, but not even all that surprising. I mean, he’s human. How many people would’ve done this? How many people who despise him might do the same? Fear is a powerful motivator. And he’s scared out of his wits the entire time we see him serving Voldemort. I can’t help but head-canon him as wondering the same as me: why didn’t he leave? Why is he here, doing this? Is there still hope? Could he get out if only he dared? I find him endlessly fascinating, so it’s not surprising that he’s one of my 10 favourite HP characters and that I’ve written fic about him.

[heartfeltheart]

Alchemy: Tiny Steps

Chapters: 18/45 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Pro!Snape Series: Part 2 of 9. Summary: Part two of the Alchemy Series.  Politics. Either you love it, hate it or you live it. For Alchemy Teacher Edward Elric, he lives it, hates it and loves it when he gets the upper hand. Here is to another year of hell… D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

  Alchemy Placement Exam

9/2/1990

Created By: Edward Elric

The following exam will determine if you are still capable of continuing my class. This maybe a placement exam, it will still have a say whether you will continue studying Alchemy or stop completely for one year, (Or forever, depends on your answers).

Good luck with this exam here's to hoping you improved from our last class meeting!

(Remember, do not speed through with haste. Take a deep breath and think everything through deeply. Reread the questions to ensure you understand what is needed to be done.)

                                                            …

Part I :

Critical Thinking…

Part II :

Write the following compound formula…

Part III :

Name the following Alchemic symbols…

Part IV :

Create the following Transmutation Circles…

Part V :

Write the following Laws…

Part VI :

Answer in your own words the following…

Equivalent Exchange:

Rebound:

Comprehension:

Deconstruction:

Reconstruction:

Part VII :

Decode the following…

Part VIII :

All is one, one is all.

Good luck.

Edward sat behind his desk, leaning into his chair with both legs propped on top of his desk while reading the Daily Prophet. Today's main story, Minister Amelia Bones is having old cases reviewed again. It apparently was heavily noted there was past corruption and there is a need to ensure everyone was prosecuted to the law at the fullest. The current article he is reading was about how the Minister is making dealings with Major General Armstrong and General Mustang.

Good.

The sound of papers rustling made Edward to fold his paper over to see the twelve remaining students from last year taking his placement exam.

Four Slytherin.

Terrance Higgs

Edmond Mortin

Timothy Jerkins

Wynne Rabnott

Three Ravenclaws.

Rachel McWilliams

Elfrida Hopkirk

Nathaniel Praxley

Three Hufflepuff.

Kasey State

Yaxley Prang

Emmeline Evan

Two Griffindor.

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

People (Mainly students from Griffindor) gripped about his unfair how there were more Slytherins than any other house. Others (Ravenclaw this time) went on with how Alchemy made no sense, or the exam was rigged somehow to make many fail. Something along those lines. Meh. Meh he says! Everyone that passed were rightfully given a spot in his class and if they chose to leave then it's their own damn fault. Truth knows he's been trying to get Terrance to leave his class. That kid is stubborn, that's for sure.

Don't get him wrong, Terrance is an excellent student. Not your typical Slytherin, is not bothered with blood purity or house rivalry. The only thing Edward had doubt about the young man is that… his head is primarily focused on Quidditch. The kid is a complete natural and from what Severus had told him, he caught the eye of current agents of several professional Quidditch teams. However, Terrance has to keep up with his work in order to keep everything on track. For Edward, have the kid drop Alchemy to focus on a path he knows will suit him for later in life.

No. Nope. Nada. That is not the case of Terrance Higgs. He made it a point that Alchemy will be his primary elective and will take on whatever the Alchemy Teacher throw at him. Edward respects that and couldn't help but snort. Stubborn. Terrence is going to need that to move forward to keep up with his school work and extracurricular activity.

Few other students that remained had dropped out of Quidditch or other electives to primarily focus on Alchemy. Amendable, but unnecessary. They just need to take a step back and look at the big picture. They have to ensure they don't lose themselves in the work or grow insane… Insanity is common in Alchemist… That and many other things…

Perhaps Edward should do something for those that needed to take a step back from Alchemy for a short time…

"Mr. Elric?"

Edward only blinked once as he turned his focus on Terrence, who now stood in front of his desk. "Finished?"

"Yes sir…" Terrance handed his test to the Alchemy Teacher, who took it with an eyebrow raised. He couldn't help but hold back a gulp of apprehension. Mr. Elric had previously tried to get him out of the class to focus his time in Quidditch. However, no matter how much he tried, the young Slytherin wasn't having it. He was going to stick through it and… well… insert explicit phrase here.

"You improved. Good work."

"Thank you, sir."

-.-

Alphonse sat rigidly in his seat, not touching the cup of tea that was served for him. He sat in the Headmaster's office having a meeting with the Head of Houses along with the Headmaster. The purpose of the meeting had to do with Alphonse purpose being at the school. Having to gather up information to see what could be implemented to Xing's school.

The only problem is that….

The Headmaster is making appear it should be an exact replica of Hogwarts. That would be a huge no for Alphonse. What he and Ling had in mind, having a second Hogwarts will not be a good idea. Divided houses. Prejudice towards blood and houses. Blatant favoritism to the point it is known to everyone around. Let's move forward with life and not create enemies that will last a lifetime.

Professor Sprout is going on about the possible ways the school could implement a Herbology Department. That is a good idea, with the fact Xing primarily focuses on the Healing Arts and already have a good array of necessary medicine herbs for their practices. Plus, Ling made it a point he wanted a Herbalogist and the Professor is already referring him many of her past pupils as possible candidates.

Professor McGonagall is talking about discipline, Transfiguration, and enrollment. Discipline will be dealt with the laws of the land and have to translate them into the school. Transfiguration will have to be taught, but the issue is that the complication of it crossing Alchemy and Ishvalan beliefs. Even so, it is needed and how to be implemented will be yet to be seen. Enrollment. This will be the main topic that will be a huge sore point for the elders and the entire country of Xing. Many approve for just the high class or only the fifty clans. Main issue would be the rest of Xing that do not belong in a clan who have developed magical abilities. That is an issue Alphonse, Ling, and many other's have to look deeply into.

Alphonse and Severus had spoken during the summer and had come to an agreement that the Potion's Professor will be sending over a former student that will stand in as the Potioneer Ling requested. Along with giving him contact to his suppliers and materials to start off teaching potions. Including with a past student that rank rather high in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Alphonse will have to talk to Ling in terms of the Dark arts but in all, he believes it would be a good idea. Still, better to check up with the guy in charge.

"We have one of our professors to personal hand deliver a letter to a first year with a muggle background…"

"Normally we send out letters via owl."

'Owl's aren't going to cut it…' Alphonse kept his gaze at his reflection in his tea. 'They won't stand the climate and constant sand storms. Hawks? Hm…'

-.-

Cedric Diggory stared at an announcement of an Alchemy Entrance Exam that will take place the throughout the entire week at different hours. The first exam will be given to the first years, after that will be divided by others never took the exam and the rest will be placed randomly depending on one's schedule. There was something about students that quit the class that wish to retake the class will have to take to Mr. Elric but that did not include him. Throughout the entire summer, he had been studying what he believes to help him with the exam.

Hopefully that will help him. Cedric had wanted to take the class last year but was intimidated by the entrance exam and the teacher in general. Mainly the teacher. Mr. Elric is intimidating. Very intimidating. Still, from his housemates that are taking the class tell him about random stories and what they are learning. This only motivated the Hufflepuff to study to perhaps take the exam with his head up.

"Food… Food…. Food…"

Cedric paused mid-thought to turn around to see Mr. Elric grumbling as he walked by him towards the kitchen. He swore the Alchemy Teacher looked like he is undead and completely dead to the world around him.

"I hate all nighters…"

Cedric slowly began to back away from the Alchemy Teacher before going into a full run. Perhaps he should rethink about thinking the Alchemy Exam.

Said teacher didn't pay much notice of what just happened as he gained access to the kitchen. A smile appeared on his face as the House Elves cheered at his appearance and began to bring out random treats for him. "Pie…"

-.-

"Here's to hoping we get in again." Fred paced around the Gryffindor Common Room, while his brother sat on the couch that was place in front of the fireplace.

"Stop worrying. Mr. Elric told use we are a shoe in, he just wanted to know where to place us. This is just a formality." George waved off his brother's concern.

"You know how he is. If he finds one thing, then it's over!"

"I know. Stop panicking, remember what else he said? We are to talk to him and see where we went wrong in general. If it has to do with us intellectually, then we study our way in again. The only way we are going to be kicked out if we…you know."

Fred stopped pacing to stare at the fire nervously. "I know and we must never discuss it."

"Long as we do not go down that road, we are good."

"Then let's stop talking about it, dear brother."

"Stop talking about what? I don't know what you are talking about?"

-.-

Terrence watched the captain of the Slytherin's Quidditch Team walk off after their short conversation. Well, it was more of the other guy is demanding him to continue with Quidditch and do every attempt to keep his head in the game. After discussion, the captain walked off feeling satisfied he did his job.

Terrence couldn't help but shake his head at his older housemate's demand of him. Of course he intends on continuing his Quidditch career. Professor Snape, Mr. Elric and his parents made it clear if he starts to fall behind in the sport, Alchemy is off his lift of classes. He likes Alchemy. He likes the atmosphere, likes how Mr. Elric only shows some sort of favoritism to all his students. Not once did he ever play on blood, house or anything else along those lines. So much hate could be take before it starts to make you hate oneself.

"Terrence!"

Terrance turned around to see a Rachel McWilliams, a fellow Alchemy student, running down the corridor towards him. The fourth year Ravenclaw is wearing her Hogwarts' uniform, but is wearing a pair of pants instead of a skirt, sunflower colored hair which is tied up using her tie. "McWilliams."

"Higgs. What do you think of the Placement Exam?" The Ravenclaw asked the Slytherin with worry evident in her voice. "I don't believe I did well in the decoding portion of the test. I've never scored that high in that area."

"I'm sure you did well enough." Terrance managed to get in between Rachel's sentences. The Ravenclaw is a constant worrier, always doubting herself and even questioning why she was placed in Ravenclaw. If she wasn't worrying then is talking at a hundred miles a minute about anything to everything that caught her attention. "Take a breath."

"-Then I thought about what Mr. Elric taught us back in Amestris and bam! Everything made sense! Well? How do you think you did on the test?"

"…Am I allowed to speak now?"

"Yes, I asked you a question."

"...Don't know. Don't care right now. I'm hungry and I missed breakfast to study."

"Really!? Don't you know breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day!"

-.-

"Not again… Xerxes! Give me back that paper! I need to grade it!"

"Hoot!"

"What do you mean I don't give you enough attention! You were napping all day!"

"HOOT!"

"AHHHH! Not the hair! Take the papers!"

[alittlebook-ish]

My 5 Best & Worst Books of 2017

So, for one of my first personal posts, I thought it would be a great idea to kind of round up the tops and bottoms of my 2017 books as a way to get to know me as a reader and what I like and don’t like in a book/story/etc. So here they are in chronological order with #1 being the best/worst. 

My Top 5 Books of 2017

My Life by Lyn Hejinian This poem/novel is written by Hejinian, a known LANGUAGE poet. This is an autobiography of Hejinian’s life and it comments on common LANGUAGE poet themes like construction of words and the falseness of identity. It’s beautiful if you really like poetry and you want something both challenging yet completely comprehensible. The challenging parts of this text are her use of repetition and parataxis but meaning is incredibly profound. 

Bloody Chamber & Other Stories by Angela Carter Bloody Chamber and Other Stories are feminist retellings of folktales. Bloody Chamber specifically is a retelling of Blue Beard, and my favourite tale within the novel is actually Snow Child, a snow white retelling. Carter is a beautiful writer and her retellings are incredibly unique and her use of sexuality is both explicit and thought provoking. The stories are really stunning if you enjoy folktales and would like to read things that are blatantly feminist.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn I think at this point, we all know the plot of Gone Girl but if you don’t, this story follows the lives of a Nick and Amy. Nick and Amy are married and to most, they seem to have a perfect marriage, that is until Amy goes missing. Nick becomes the prime suspect and it’s a race against time to find out who took Amy and what happened to her. The novel makes you question everyone, even Nick when you’re reading it and Flynn is a master at the thriller/mystery genre. Her ability to utilize narrative to manipulate both plot and characters is unique and demonstrates how masterful of an author she is. If you haven’t gotten on this book, you really should, it’s 100x better than the movie and it really won’t disappoint. 

Scandalous Women by Elizabeth Kerri Mahon This novel is a book that touches on the lives of many different women in history. For example, she talks about Cleopatra, Barbara Palmer, Anne Boleyn, etc. I actually found Mahon’s blog under the same name and purchased her novel because I loved her blog so much. I will definitely say that she does not spend too much time on each woman, for the most part each chapter is more of an in depth summary than a long biography, but I went into it expecting just that because I was used to the length and depth of her blog posts. If you’re looking to read a novel about fantastic women, some you may not have heard of, some that are popular, like Cleopatra, but don’t know the real story of, this novel will give you that. A fantastic introduction to fantastic women. 

Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding I finally read the first novel in this series after most adults in their 30s telling me “oh! Renee, like Renee Zellweger, like Bridget Jones!” Yes, I get it, I share a name with the only relevant Renee who happens to play Bridget Jones. So picking this book up I really didn’t know what to expect, and only after finishing this novel did I realize it was a pride and prejudice retelling, which okay I can see but ?? NO THANKS? Anyways, this novel is written in a diary format and follows Bridget Jones, a middle aged woman and her coming of age story while she tries to deal with her problematic family and romantic life. This novel is not necessarily amazing literature, but it’s entertaining, fun, and was just a good trashy read. I found myself hating, loving, being frustrated, and being proud of Bridget Jones throughout this novel which only tells me how much this character really resonates with me and I loved every page of this novel.

My Worst 5 Books of 2017

The Heir by Kiera Cass I did not finish this book and don’t really think that I want to. This novel takes place after the original selection trilogy and *spoiler* features America and Maxon’s daughter having her own selection. If I’m being blunt, their daughter, who I can’t remember the name of, is a really huge cunt. I mean, I just don’t understand how their child turned out so horribly when her parents are genuinely so good. It was just, bad bad bad bad bad and bad. Nope. Can’t do it. 

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern So this novel is about two people with magic who were promised to fight to the death through a series of creations/attractions inside of a travelling circus. The premise of this novel was really great and Morgenstern’s imagination is captivating. The most beautiful part of this novel are the circus attractions. Morgenstern has a way with words and an extraordinary imagination that everything about the book is beautiful. There is something so whimsical and fantastical about this novel but this novel lacks so much in both storytelling and character development. The love story is lacking, the character development is lacking, the plot is completely lost in comparison to Morgenstern’s attention to creating new amusement parks. The ending was also incredibly disappointing and felt like Morgernstern just wanted a nicely packaged happy ending that wasn’t all that nice. The ending was rushed and the whole story was just not cohesive. It was disappointing as a story, but beautiful as a concept. 

Dare Me by Megan Abbott The novel is described everywhere as a competition between Beth, captain of the cheerleading team, and the new cheer coach that escalades into a murder. The main mystery is who did it and partially who was killed (because you find that out halfway through the novel). I really hated the narrator because it was first person but it felt more like Nick from Great Gatsby than an actual character’s perspective. It was just an observer that really didn’t do anything and the whole plot was overshadowed by the inappropriate relationship between the coach and our narrator and Beth. Beth is the only redeeming thing about this novel because she is absolutely fantastic and well-rounded. But everything else is so... meh. And the person who killed him is so lackluster, like I didn’t expect them but it was the most obvious person for sure. It just wasn’t even a twist it was so... meh. Everything about this novel was meh tbh. 

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire This novel is set in a reality where secondary worlds are real and it revolves around a school where kids who return from these worlds are sent to to be rehabilitated for the “normal” world and after the MC arrives at the school, a string of murders begin. It’s a really interesting idea and I can’t say that I hated it but it really lacked world-building, the murderer was really easily deduced for me, and I hated the ending. I mean, there’s not much more I can say. 

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K Rowling I think I’m one of the very few people that doesn’t like Harry Potter. I just think Rowling’s writing is lacking, the storyline has never been interesting to me, and I only read this novel for my child lit course. It’s just... bland. The characters lack uniqueness, they’re just archetypes of the classic school story & romance genre. The plot always takes a backseat to the world-building and school story. All the actual adventure/plot literally happens at the last half of the novel, which is.. bad writing? I’m just over the hype. I didn’t like it when I was a kid, don’t like it now. Sorry.

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