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#these choices were basically arbitrary but i did end up putting a lot of thought into how i justified each of them lolll
godsoflightmusic · 2 months
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my reasons for each member + original image under the cut:
coups (great helm) - i feel like he would choose the most intimidating one and this one would just fit with his big sturdy body <3
jeonghan (barbute) - he needs to have his mouth relatively free so that he can use psychological warfare but this helmet would also go great with a huge jacket which is a must for him
joshua (sallet) - he's a wild card honestly... i can kinda see him owning multiple designer medieval helmets, but i feel like the sallet seems kinda fancy which suits him. i could also see him in the barbute to match jh tho
jun (armet) - the armet was made for jun i mean just look at the slayful profile and the head shape it would fit him like a glove
hoshi (armet) - i feel like the armet is the most tiger-like of all of the options here. hoshi would probably paint some stripes and whiskers on it or customize it in some other way
wonwoo (kettle hat) - this seems like the only glasses-friendly option and also he's a little bit of a loser (<3 <3) which fits the vibe of this option loll
woozi (sallet) - it's kinda reminiscent of his necessary helmet (see: bss comeback gose) so i think he could make some good music in it and the piece in the back would make him look like a little bug
minghao (frog-mouth) - duh but also i think he would appreciate the sculptural/avant-garde quality of this one
mingyu (hounskull) - mingyu wants the most protection possible so i was thinking absolute, full coverage, but it could also be a problem since he need to be able to look down more bc of his height..... idk
dk (spangenhelm) - the chainmail matches his arthur costume somewhat and he would also want to be in a helmet that doesn't trap his voice inside with him like a mini echo chamber
seungkwan (bascinet) - i feel like he might get scared if his whole head was covered up, and, as a bonus, there’s a possibility of modifying the helmet so that he could wear his navy baseball hat
vernon (hounskull) - the silhouette is reminiscent of the strawberry game from boomily outing, which suited him like no one else. also imagine a kenzo hounskull it would be so crazy cool
dino (great helm) - this is a purely instinctual choice. for some reason i just feel like this would suit him so well… like i can just see this helmet on his shoulders and it fits
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luvknow · 4 years
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in another lifetime | lee minho
genre: ceo/iron man!lee minho x secretary!reader | ceo au ; superhero au ; alcohol mention ; blood mention summary: you and your boss were inseparable. no one could understand how you could work ungodly hours for such an inexperienced ceo. but your job was to stick by Mr. Lee for as long as you were getting paid, and that meant being his date to charity balls and helping him turn into the country’s best superhero. wc: 18.9k a/n: rewrite of that one w**jin fic cuz fuck that guy ~! the public has spoken.... lee minho has been chosen as the winner
Secretary was your title, but you liked to think you were more than just that. Perhaps secretary was just an umbrella term for amateur sommelier slash novice multitasker slash the only employee who knew how to drive stick. Whatever your job entailed, you were sure to list all of those tasks in your updated resume when it was time to pass the torch onto some other poor sucker because you would much rather die than be a secretary for life.
It wasn’t like your boss was a total ass, or anything. That was actually the scary part - the fact that your boss was one of the kindest and most attentive people you’ve ever worked for, yet you still hated this job! What made this so horrid was the amount of walking and running your poor feet had to do. And guess what? No sneakers were allowed in the office, so you were left with walking over forty-thousand steps in a day in toe-pinching sole-aching glossy shoes that were half a size too big for your feet because shoes like these always ran out in your size in the store.
“Good morning, Mr. Lee,” you greeted, walking into his private office at 8:00 am on the dot as normal. With tired eyes, he looked up from his stack of blueprints and gave you a warm smile. You don’t know how he does it, but he always managed to welcome your morning visits with a smile that almost made you consider your resignation. “Iced americano, extra shot.”
“You are a blessing,” he praised graciously. One sip of the liquid gold was enough to wake him up right away.
“Long night?”
“Yeah. You know how it took us hours to decide the wall colors for each floor in our building? Imagine doing that all over again, but for a superhero suit prototype.”
“But it’s just a suit this time, not fifty floors.”
“This isn’t just a suit, _____. It’s the suit of a man who’s going to save the world one day! A suit that everyone will lay their eyes on and judge me for my color choices.”
“You sound like a child.”
“An ambitious child, mind you.”
“Did you ultimately decide on a color?”
“Yes, two colors actually. Red and gold.”
“Wow, such a loud and loyal color choice.”
“Is it?” Your handsome boss pouted slightly while scanning his designs. “Seungmin said the same thing. Maybe I should change it -”
“No!” you interrupted for the sake of not wanting to look up Pantone’s thousands of shades of ruby and champagne. “Red and gold are perfect for you.”
Minho’s pouty lips melted into a proud smile. “If you believe so, then I trust you. Come take a look - what do you think of it overall?”
You walked around his ginormous custom-made walnut desk to peer over his shoulder. Minho could smell the familiar gardenia scent you wore for years and it immediately brought comfort to his panicking soul. Somehow your presence always calmed him down, no matter what stressful situation he was in. Maybe that’s why he wanted to have you around 24/7. How selfish of him.
Your couple minutes of silence were so agonizing that his nervous foot-tapping habit he told you about that he thought he got rid of in college broke through, which was your cue to answer.
“I like it. I like it a lot, actually,” you admitted honestly. “I would definitely feel safe if I saw you come to my rescue, although the helmet is a little concerning.”
“Concerning how?”
“Well, it has such a… A, uh… How do I put this politely? A dead expression?”
“‘Dead’ is a polite adjective to you?”
“I mean come on, Mr. Lee, there are two eyes and a flat line for the mouth where the corners curve downwards just slightly and it looks like you gave him little fangs. There’s not much life in the eyes, either.” 
“They light up when the suit is on!”
“Maybe I’ll like it more when I see it in person?”
“The helmet is the only thing I’m confident about, so nothing and no one can change my mind,” he said stubbornly.
“I’m sure everyone will love it,” you reassured while smoothing out the stress wrinkles on his indigo shoulder pads. “When do you plan on starting the build?”
“In half an hour.”
“What!?” Minho nearly spit out his espresso at your yelping and the frantic way you sifted through your massive planner and scrolling through your emails on your phone at the same time. Oh, so that’s what he forgot to tell you! He knew something felt off. “B-B-But I didn’t get an email that the shipment arrived!”
“I called the company at five in the morning just as they opened and demanded an expedited shipping of all the materials and they’ll be arriving in half an hour.”
“But did the quality department approve of the materials? Or your design at least?”
“You do know I’m the CEO, right?” Minho smirked teasingly. “That’s business talk for ‘fuck Quality’.”
Minho stood up from his black velvet Chesterfield chair to escape your nagging and briskly walked away towards God-knows-where. Like an obedient, push-over puppy, you trailed closely behind with a light jog and all you could think about was how it was too early for your feet to be aching this badly.
“I don’t like the idea of this,” you said firmly.
“You never do. Loosen up a little, will ya?”
“I will not! I looked the other way when you decided on signing a contract to collaborate with that ugly luxury car brand, I agreed with the proposal of a new smartphone that totally flopped in the end, and I barely allowed the approval for the development of the new branch in Taiwan! All of those ideas are whatever, arbitrary even, but this? This puts you at the front line of danger, Mr. Lee! What if something goes wrong, or the material is compromised? What if these companies take you for a fool for not checking in with the quality department first? What if you’re setting yourself up to be sabotaged, huh?”
Minho pressed the down button on the elevator, ignoring your pleas. Even though all you do is nag and play by the rules, he knew you were only doing so because he didn’t bother to. In the end, you were just looking out for him, and he couldn’t appreciate you more.
His gives you what he thought was a reassuring smile. To you, it looked rather mischievous “Lucky for me that you’ll be there the whole time, right?”’
“What do you mean…?”
“I mean you’ll watch the entire suit being built while you work. Then you’ll see how safe it is. I need someone to double check me, anyways.”
“Mr. Lee, I don’t think I’m qualified for that.”
“Don’t be silly, of course you are!”
Your engineering experience went as far as Physics I and II classes with a teaspoon’s worth in basic circuitry, so if Minho thought that qualified you to double check his work, then you might have to question his PhD degree.
The elevator welcomed you both into its vacant container. The lowest level this elevator could reach with a single button was the basement, but if the right person (or the wrong person) were to dial the buttons in the order of 4-4-1-9, they would be taken nine floors below the basement to the rumored ‘Super Office’ (ten was too much because Minho didn’t like the feel of the heavy pressure and eight was such a silly number).
The steel doors opened right into his Super Office which he designed to be five times larger than his executive office so he had plenty of room for building up new car designs and bringing his super suits to life for both him and his partners. His successful designs that were once worn but are now retired were placed on mannequins and stored inside a tall glass box on display for him to admire.
You walked up to your favorite one, eyes sparkled adoringly at Seungmin’s first Spider-Man suit.
“You always loved the red and blue,” Minho noted behind you. “Still not a fan of the black one?”
“The black one is scary! No one wants a hero dressed in all black, like that color does not exude the feeling of safe.”
“Duly noted for his next suit.”
Beside Seungmin’s old spidey suit was an empty display case you assumed was meant for this final draft of Minho’s Iron Man suit. Surrounding the two glass cases were dozens and dozens of wood and plastic demos that didn’t work out in the end, but Minho didn’t have the heart to take them to the dumpster.
“Looks like the shipment arrived early!” Your mature but easy-going boss jogged up to the piles of wooden crates and packages that were laid out neatly in the center of his work space. Without much patience, he took off his indigo suit jacket, tossed it to the side like it wasn’t worth two thousand dollars (to which you caught before it hit the ground), and took the crowbar on top of the pile to open the cases with ease. Sheets of metals, different tools, and a cool welding and soldering set scattered along the concrete floor. Minho gave you an excited grin that mimicked a child upon opening gifts on Christmas. “Let the building commence!”
There wasn’t room for any argument, so you took a seat at his desk where he normally would sketch the designs and worked off of his desktop with a heavy feeling of defeat. At least watching the process would be cool, right?
Maybe cool wasn’t the right word. Or watching.
For the next three months, from sunrise to sunset, you spent your day nine floors below the surface for almost twelve hours a day being his little helper. From holding pieces of metal in place while he flame torched them together to feeding him take out because his hands were covered in oil, you did it all and God, if Minho didn’t give you a raise or at least some meal tickets to the executive cafeteria, you might just quit on the spot.
“Done.” With a heavy and exhausted sigh, Minho clapped his hands together and marveled at his nearly-finished product. “We’re done!!”
“What about the red and gold paint?”
“I can’t work on this anymore or I’ll implode. I’ll just take this to my car guy and he’ll paint it exactly how I want it.”
“Not really a self-made suit then, is it?” you dared to challenge your boss.
He pointed an accusing finger at you. “Shut your mouth and give me my food.”
You handed a slouching Minho his box of take-out and wooden chopsticks. While you had a perfectly comfortable ottoman he could have sat on right next to you, he remained on the cold concrete, probably too sore and worn out to even stand up, let alone walk to a cushioned seat. Minho was a man with personality and many faces, but his face of satisfactory upon completing projects was when he was the most handsome. For a while, you two just sat in silence, taking in every detail of the flawless iron suit while slurping noodles. 
“So,” Minho began nervously. “What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful, Mr. Lee,” you say immediately.
“You mean it?”
For someone so intelligent and talented, it was a wonder how a man like him could be insecure about any of his creations.
“Absolutely,” you reassured. “Flawless. Is it fully programmed and everything?”
“Yup. I installed the software and artificial intelligence last week.”
“Sounds like the only thing you need to do is take it out for a spin.”
Minho hummed with approval. “... Can you do it for me?”
“What!? No!”
“I really don’t want to do it…”
“With all due respect, suck it up.”
“Isn’t it reasons like this why I hired you?”
“I was hired to be your secretary, not your lab rat.”
“To be fair, the job description was pretty vague.”
“Yeah, I definitely did not expect to be helping you construct a modern Knight in Shining Armor cosplay.” After wiping your mouth clean of all MSG and soy sauce, you tossed your dirty napkin in the trash bin that was a considerable distance away.
Minho followed suit, who was also able to get his napkin in the can. Then you tossed another napkin, and then him, and this went on until you were left to toss your boxes and chopsticks. The real challenge was tossing the plastic wraps of the fortune cookies.
“Whoever loses has to do whatever the other says,” Minho proposed.
Without hesitation, you nodded in agreement. “Fine, but I will not test that thing out if I lose.”
“Deal. Secretaries first.”
You did your best to crumple up and squish out any air that was left in the wrapped before whipping it like you were throwing the first pitch. The wrapper hit the rim of the can and fell to the side. But that’s ok, because there was no way your boss could even come close to -
“WOO!” Minho cheered, getting up from the floor while you were left slumped in the chair filled with defeat. Of course, whatever he wanted, he would get his way. “Man, I am super lucky today.”
“What the hell! Did you wrap it around a stone or something!?”
“Darling, I would never cheat ~”
“There’s no use in arguing. Just lay the consequences on me, boss.”
Minho scooted the ottoman closer - almost a little too close. Then, like a handsome little goldendoodle with his swooshy chocolate hair and sparkling eyes, he gazed up at you pleadingly before offering you your punishment.
Fear and flattery tickled your spine. “Spit it out.”
A grin followed. “You will accompany me to the ball next week.”
“The Children’s Charity Ball? The biggest charity ball of the century? The one where all the white-haired big shots attend with their dates who just barely turned eighteen?”
“The very same.”
“And you want me to be your date.”
“Yes.”
“Seems a bit lazy, doesn’t it?”
“Lazy how!?”
Not wanting him to see you blush, you began cleaning up the mess from the takeout. “Lazy as in why not find a real date? You know, someone you’ll have a good time with.”
“Hey, I always have a good time with you! And I’m doing you a favor if you think about it. If I wanted to bring anyone else, that would mean you’d have to flip through all of my contacts and have you choose the perfect date for me. So unless you want the extra overtime, I’ll expect to see you dressed to the nines?”
“Don’t you want to bring someone more suited for this role? Someone with much more finesse and elegance?” you said as you twirled dirty napkins in the air.
“If I’m being honest, I do not have the time nor do I want to put in the effort into bringing someone so bland.”
“Who says they’re bland? What if I pick out one of your supermodel friends or like a professor, or something?”
“All my supermodel friends like to toke up in bathrooms and what’s a professor going to do? Lecture me to death? _____, please, I am begging you - be my date? You know you and I are going to have a blast, I promise you. We always do when we’re together.”
A moment of silence passed while you shuddered in disgust. You couldn’t believe you were going to say this, but…  “So what should I wear?”
“Yes! That’s the spirit! Wear anything besides velvet because that’s my fabric of choice.”
“Can you at least do the picking for me? We should at least match in the slightest.”
Minho let out an exaggerated sigh. “Oh, fine, I’ll do all the work.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, Mr. Lee.”
“It’s what I do best.”
After cleaning up the mess and a last quick polish on the Iron suit, the two of you took the elevator to the level below the basement where Minho parked his favorite fancy shmancy foreign sports car you couldn’t pronounce. In its shiny and spotless all-white glory sat his coup in his executive parking spot where no other car or person was in sight.
“Quite showy for you, isn’t it?” you accused your normally toned-down boss.
“I had a hunch that today was going to be the day we finished, and low and behold, we did. Soojung the Spyder always brings me good luck,” he patted and praised his prized roadster.
The distance from the office to your apartment was a solid forty-five minutes away by public transportation, right on the edge of being not too far, but not close enough, but by car it was only twenty-five minutes. During your first couple of years with the company, you enjoyed the lonely rides and getting lost with your thoughts, but there were moments you got so lost that you missed your stop a couple too many times and sometimes the winter made waiting outside so unbearable. It wasn’t until you started to clock in tons of overtime that Minho was nice enough to drive you home from then on.
--
“C’mon, _____, just get in the car,” Minho begged for the twelfth time, holding the passenger door open with one hand and an umbrella with the other. He parked his car illegally right in front of the bus stop that so many other employees used. Why did it matter that you were using it while it was thunderstorming and past 10:00 PM? “The heat is escaping the longer we argue.”
“It’s fine! I don’t live too far away,” you lied. “Please go home, Mr. Lee, your puppy must be worried sick.”
“Hazelnut can wait, but I can’t. As your boss, I order you to get in my car!” Though the statement was serious with his booming voice, his pouty lips made it much less intimidating.
“With all due respect, I have clocked out for the day and I don’t have to listen to you until 7:00 am tomorrow.”
“I can’t believe you’re making me break the law.”
“What do you mean?”
The blinding lights of the bus flashed irregularly, a polite way of telling Minho to get the fuck out of the way. But he didn’t move in the slightest. He patiently waited for you by the passenger door, not moving a muscle and looking like a car model dressed in his long, warm and tan pea coat. The patient and smug look on his face let you know he wasn’t playing around and that he’d dare tell the bus to wait until you got in.
“Mr. Lee, get out of the way!”
“Not until you’re in my car,” he shook his head stubbornly. “The bus is getting closer ~”
Your anxiousness hiked up exponentially when the driver held the horn long and loudly, not looking like they had much patience in them and indicating that they were very, very annoyed. For the sake of not inconveniencing the butt-load of passengers and the driver and securing your job, you hurried into his car, cursing up a storm that rivaled the one outside. A triumphant and smirking Minho followed suit and sped away at a dangerous speed, perhaps breaking a second law that night. For those twenty-five minutes (or maybe it was fifteen with Minho’s driving), the car was silent because your reckless boss focused on cutting every civilian off on the highway and you were too busy covering your eyes in fear.
--
“You were so dramatic back then,” Minho snickered at the seemingly-harmless memory.
“Me!? You were the one who parked in front of a bus stop and begged me to get in!”
“You were the one who wouldn’t get in the damn car!”
“How does it look to on-lookers that a secretary is getting into her boss’s car!?”
“It’s not like anyone knows our relationship.”
“Oh please, someone like you driving a beautiful shiny car picking up sad ol’ me at the bus stop - of course on-lookers may not know me and my relationship to you, but they definitely know who you are at the very least.”
“I could not give more than zero fucks of what people think.”
“Yes, that much is clear.”
“_____, you can’t always worry about what everyone thinks ~”
You sighed loudly, as if you’d explained this to him a thousand times already. “Worrying is the basis of my entire title, Mr. Lee.”
“And will you drop the ‘Mr. Lee’ once and for all? We’re the same age!”
“Same age, but different titles and a massive pay gap. You and I are not equals.”
Minho reached over to mess up your hair. “You’re so formal, it’s so cute!”
“Ah, stop it! You’re swerving!!”
Minho had dropped you off and walked you up to your apartment more times than you can count, but you don’t think you’ll ever get over the embarrassment of your humble abode. Of course you’ve visited his mansion just as many times, since you participated in the designing of it, and him having to see such a sad home in comparison is, well, terrifying each and every time.
“Ok, bye,” you dismissed quickly.
A handsome laugh escaped your handsome boss’s lips. “Still hate having me so close to your home? You know, it’s quite rude you’ve never invited me in and yet you’ve been in mine hundreds of times!”
“My home doesn’t have marble statues or glass refrigerators and I can’t hire you to redesign the interior.”
“You know I don’t care about that stuff.”
“But I do!”
His tongue tisked disappointedly. “What a shame. I thought we were friends.”
“We are, but friends don’t break sensitive boundaries.”
He passively waved you off. “Fine, fine. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Bright and early.”
“Excellent. I have one request.”
It was your turn to pout. What could he possibly want this time? “Already? At least let me sleep peacefully.”
“It’s nothing complicated, I promise! In fact, it’ll save you thirty minutes. Don’t bring me my coffee tomorrow.”
“Don’t? Are you on a caffeine cleanse again? You know how badly that went last time - you barely lasted two days and you fired someone, to which I had to convince you for forty minutes to hire them back.”
“No, not a cleanse. Just come in a bit earlier. Let’s get coffee together.”
“Do you have time for that?” Knowing how packed Minho’s schedule was in the mornings, you wondered his sanity for making time just so the two of you could grab a cup.
“I’ll make time. Actually, you’ll make time. Can you pencil us in for some coffee?”
“U-Uh, yeah!” With nervous and shaky hands, you pulled out your work phone and squeezed in half an hour of coffee time. “Done.”
“Perfect. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Don’t be reckless driving home.”
“No promises.”
Before going into your apartment complex, you watched Minho wave goodbye before blasting music with a deep bass and speeding off, leaving a smokey trail from burning rubber.
“I hate him,” you smiled to yourself.
--
“I hate him,” you said to yourself upon walking into Minho’s office.
Like an artificially intelligent robot that didn’t know of its purpose, Minho dressed in his Iron suit walked around his office doing regular office things, like dusting the blinds and tidying up loose papers on his desk. It was a little difficult to do smaller tasks with his stiff and massive iron hands, so you’re not entirely sure what your boss was doing.
“G’morning!” he greeted cheerfully. “Just taking this baby out on a test drive.”
You had just noticed the paint job was completed on the suit which meant that it was good to go. However, you didn’t think this was the ideal way to ‘test drive’ a superhero suit. 
“Good morning, Mr. Lee. Is this really the right way to test drive?”
“I got too excited when my car guy told me it was done. He did it so quickly and precisely, too. Look, he even engraved it with my signature! She’s a beauty, isn’t she?”
“Yes, very shiny. The gold and red are much prettier than I imagined.”
“Right!? Not too Gryffindor-y, is it?”
“Not at all,” you said sincerely. “Do you want to get coffee now? We should hurry, you have a conference call at 8:00.”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Minho followed you to the door with a trail of heavy iron steps. You turned around quickly and gave him an incredulous look, one he’s seen much too often. “I don’t want coffee anymore.”
“Why not!?”
“I’m not going out in public with you wearing that thing! You look ridiculous!”
“That’s so rude of you to say about my pride and joy! This also took me thirty minutes to put on!”
“Mr. Lee, we’re just getting coffee!”
“You are not fun at all.”
It took only five minutes to get your boss stumbling out of the suit because the button for the release was hidden under a metal panel on his wrist, but at least it was painless.
“I thought you didn’t want to reveal Iron Man until you tested it and got your seal of approval?” you asked the child-like man.
“That’s still the plan, but I’m just so excited! I think we should test it tonight.”
“Tonight? Already?”
“Yup, and I need you here with me in case I die, or something.”
“And to think I was gonna relax and take a bubble bath tonight.”
“It won’t take long, I promise.”
“I’ll believe it when I drop my bath bomb in my tub.”
In your whole time working here, you’ve spent more time together with Minho at both the office and at his home than working alone. The ratio was about seventy-five percent at the office, fifteen percent at his home, and ten percent miscellaneous, like going to business lunches or simple walks to the coffee shop like today. The long work hours were brutal on your feet and your social life, but the money was way too good to pass. You swore you broke the world record for ‘quickest payment of student debt’ with your hard work.
To anyone else, your job sounded so unappealing that no amount of money could ever convince them to do what you’re doing. ‘So brave’, they tell you, but it’s not that you’re brave, it’s that you’re loyal and as much as you hate to say it, you had the best boss. Yes, he’s a little goofy and yes, maybe a bit naive because he’s so young, but he treated you like you’re his equal and not someone so beneath him who takes all of his notes and takes his laundry to be dry cleaned. Plus when he compensated for your time so handsomely, how could you hate your job? Every day was new and exciting when you were with Minho.
The day went along as normal, from conference calls to lunch and finishing the day with an interview with the press. The very second everyone clocked out at 5:00 pm, you followed a speedy boss to wherever he led you.
“Are we going to test it out now?”
“No, silly, it’s still too bright out! We have to test it once the sun sets.”
You knew that sounded too good to be true. You held a light jog in order to keep up with him. “Where are we going then?”
He turned and gave you a suspicious grin. “Shopping!”
“For what!?”
“You and I need matching outfits for the charity ball, remember?”
“You know, I was just kidding when I said that… We don’t have to match…” The last thing you want is for someone to mistake you as your boss’s date instead of his secretary, but to be fair you don’t know many guests going that bring anyone that isn’t a date, so you kind of shot yourself in the foot when you didn’t make that shot into the trash bin.
“We are matching and I am not arguing with you.”
A defeated sigh escaped your lips before entering the backseat of Minho’s car where his driver would take us anywhere he pleased. He told him a cross section that sounded familiar, but not enough for you to guess where you’re going, so from here on out until you were home taking a hot bath, the rest of today would be a surprise. 
The car stopped in front of a glossy black DIOR building. You expected nothing less from Minho.
“You would pick Dior,” you scoffed, completely amazed at how someone so rich could have so much brand loyalty to one company.
“Hey, they are consistent and beautifully crafted, don’t judge me.”
“Mr. Lee and Lovely _____!” An older, graceful lady came running to greet both of you with a warm smile dressed in a hot red shade of lipstick. You recognized her voice to be the owner from all the times you called to ask about any pieces Minho could reserve before they hit the runway and were snatched up by the ‘I Have Daddy’s Credit Card and Inheritance’ private-school boys. This was your first time seeing her in person and her calming voice matched her mature appearance perfectly. “This piece has been waiting for you ~”
“I can’t wait, Auntie,” he smiled back graciously like an obedient nephew rewarded with cookies.
She led the two of you to the very back where the private dressing and tailoring area was, where the mirrors went from the floor to the ceiling. The store owner walked in with Minho’s fabric of choice, a velvet jacket with crisp black pants and a white button-up that had the slightest sheen of silver from metallic strands woven into the shirt fabric. In the shadows, one would think the velvet was black, but in the light or at certain angles, there was the slightest sheen to it that showed the darkest shades of indigo and green, like an oil slick. You couldn’t believe the amount of detail in the velvet that your eyes looked like they were popping out of your sockets.
Your boss was so eager to try it on that he was taking off his pants before you were warned. Quickly you turned around and shut your eyes, pretending that you didn’t see his KakaoTalk-patterned boxer briefs.
“M-M-Mr. Lee! At least warn me if you’re going to strip!!”
“Sorry ~” he apologized unapologetically.
A couple of zips and rustling of fabrics later, Minho tapped your shoulder to turn around. Your eyes bulged out of their sockets again while looking at your boss dressed in a suit that was clearly made for him and him only. It didn’t look like any tailoring was needed at all! He looked like he walked right off the runway. There had to be some enchantment spell in the fabric because you swear you’ve never seen any man more handsome before this moment.
“I take it you like it?” Minho teased.
Your cheeks tickled with red when he caught you staring. “You look amazing as usual, Mr. Lee.”
“You think so?” You knew so. “It’s not too flashy, is it?”
“Not at all. I think you have the perfect amount of flash. How does it feel?”
“Like a glove. It’s already perfectly tailored!”
“I know your measurements by heart, my dear,” Auntie bragged. “Of course I had it ready to go already.”
“You’re the best.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug. “What would I be without you?”
“Not GQ’s best dressed man under thirty, that’s for sure.”
“Could you do me another favor? Do you perhaps have something for _____ to match? We have a charity ball next weekend.”
“Mr. Lee, this is really unnecessary -”
“I know exactly what to pull.”
Before you could object, Auntie ran to the back of the store where all the hidden inventory was held. You glared at your cheeky boss, still dressed in his sexy outfit and it was hard to keep your glare when he looked so damn good, that handsome bastard.
“I’m not wearing whatever she brings out.”
“You will and you’ll look great and we will buy it, so don’t embarrass me.”
“Embarrass you!? I am not your doll!”
“I’ve got it!”
Both you and Minho whipped your heads to see Auntie running in with a blacker than black satin and silky outfit that was simple but elegant. Nervous goosebumps spread through your arms and straight to your wallet. You already knew this was going to be the most expensive outfit you’ve ever worn.
“It’s beautiful,” you gasped so slightly.
“Try it on!”
Minho followed Auntie out of the dressing room but not before shooting you a triumphant wink. I mean, who were you to deny your boss and the store owner, right? So with ease, you put on the cooling fabric that clung to your body in all the right spots. The mirror did all justice and perhaps it was a magical mirror that Dior spent millions on to convince their customers to buy everything because damn, you look hot! With your face as red as Minho’s Corvette, you presented the outfit to the two judges.
“Oh, it fits perfectly!” Auntie gushed with wide eyes.
Minho stayed silent with his mouth ajar and eyes scanning you up and down like you were a precious gem discovered in a deep cave beyond a waterfall. It was hard to differentiate between feeling flattered and feeling like object, but at least you were a desired object, right?
“You look amazing,” Minho admitted sincerely, no longer looking at you with awe and rather content.
“Really? I look ok?”
His handsome smile shined brightly at you. Whether you were dressed in your formal work clothes that screamed ‘absolute virgin’ or you were head-to-toe in Dior, you were never just ‘ok’. You always had the attention of everyone in the room once you walked in, especially his. You were always stunning, no matter what. Validation from your boss always came easy and calmed you quickly because he only had eyes for you.
“You look just fine,” he lied, because ‘fine’ didn’t come close to how you looked to him.
“We’ll be the best dressed at the ball, huh?”
“Absolutely.”
The car ride home was quiet other than the trot music playing on the radio from the driver’s playlist. Minho seemed as cool as a cucumber, but you were at the edge of your seat feeling a bit awkward and ugh, unintentionally sweaty. Compliments from any man was one thing, but coming from your boss? A whole different level of weird, especially if they weren’t work related! What did ‘you look just fine’ even mean!? Was that a good thing? Were you too average-looking? Whatever it was, from now until you fall asleep at ungodly hours, those words were going to circulate your thoughts, perhaps haunt you for days.
At exactly 7:03 pm, just as the sun set below the horizon revealing the indigo night sky, the driver pulled up to the back entrance of the building that led to a secret elevator that would take you straight to the underground office after punching in the code. A giggling and grinning Minho was the first to hop out of the car and ran towards the door.
“Mr. Lee, hold on!” you whined as you struggled to get out of the tall car.
“Hurry up, _____! Now’s the perfect time to earn that OT!”
“This time-and-a-half pay better be worth it…”
Upon entering the elevator, you were ready to punch in the 4419 code, but Minho had already pressed the button to the top level, which led to the roof slash helipad.
“Why are we going up?”
“We can’t test the suit inside, silly. Seungmin came by earlier to pick up his suit after I recalibrated it last night and I asked him to take the suit to the roof.”
“How, that thing weighs like a ton!”
“Not when you’re wearing it.”
“You let him wear it before you test drove it!? Mr. Lee, that’s extremely reckless!”
“Relax, I trusted he wouldn’t mess anything up, and look! It’s right there!”
The glass elevator made a slow stop to reveal the red and gold suit standing proudly in the center of the helipad. As soon as the doors panned open, Minho handed you his suitcase before running out and tossing his blazer onto the floor before hastily stepping into the suit.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” he said, running back to your frazzled state. He took the leather suitcase from your hands and popped it open so he could give you a glass tablet. “This is for you.”
You looked at the shiny slab of glass with wonder. “What is it?”
“It’s like a control center. You’ll see what I see in terms of my stats and where I am in the city. If anything goes wrong, like say the jets give out, I need you to send a command to manually turn on the back-ups.”
“And what code is that?”
“Not important, we’ll study those later.”
“Later!? What if something happens tonight!?”
“Nothing will happen I promise, I’ll see you in a bit ~!” his cheering faded away the further he ran from you and to his beloved suit.
There was no use in fighting your boss, so you did as you were told and touched the tablet to reveal the control panel. It was black for a few moments before the screen showed your tiny self off in the distance looking down at the tablet which meant that Minho was able to put on and turn on the suit super quickly without any problems.
“What do you see?” he asked you through the speakers of the tablet from his built-in microphone in the helmet.
“I see me in the distance, the battery level of the suit, and all other weird liquids and commodities at one hundred percent.”
“Perfect!”
You turned to look at your boss who was stretching and feeling out the suit as if this wasn’t his 50th time wearing it. Still, he looked so excited and proud of his hard work, it was hard to tease him about how childish he was, even if he was trying out his yoga poses he just learned. 
“How does it feel?”
“It feels incredible! Totally indescribable now that I’m out in the open. And it’s surprisingly lightweight.”
“How were you able to make it feel light with all that metal?”
“I don’t know, if I’m being honest…”
You rolled your eyes. “The work of a genius, huh?”
“You’ve got that right. Are we ready to take off?”
“I believe so. Are you ready to take off?”
“More than I’ll ever be, baby!!”
Before you knew it, you saw the camera’s view on the screen wobble and turn towards the edge of the building. Terrified, you saw your child-like boss get a running start before he dove off the edge and into the sea of the city.
In a panic, you ran and took a peak over the edge, hoping the jets or whatever kept the suit flying would operate properly and leave you without any worries. At first, Minho was but a dark red speck falling beneath the shadows, but a second later, he came flying up at lighting speed doing tricks and flips with ease and whooping loudly, as any normal CEO of a software company slash wannabe superhero would do. You could hear him giggling through your tablet, and like a spectator watching the most spectacular aerial performance, you watched him with a smile on your lips.
After his solo, he glided back down to you and hovered beyond the edge just at your eye level. You couldn’t see any features behind the glass of his eyes so you were left awkwardly staring at his expressionless helmet with those signature weird fangs. After all you and Minho have been through together, even with an idea like this being so ridiculously obscure, he could always rely on you to support him no matter what. He saw how your eyes sparkled with wonderment and how your cheeks dusted a soft pink and it was then that he knew you would stay by his side for even more ridiculous shenanigans to come.
He would never let you leave, anyways. Even in another lifetime, he’d have you by his side forever.
“How cool do I look right now?” he asked. His voice sounded deeper and electronic through the helmet, like he was a robot or had his voice programmed through a phone like Siri. You imagined an idea like that was how Minho planned on becoming immortal one day.
You raised a brow. “You look kind of… scary?”
“Scary!? Why?”
“I don’t know, if I saw a flying robot come at me at rocket speed, I think I’d be terrified!”
“Well, if I come to your rescue, at least you’ll know it’s me.”
“I suppose. So what are you going to do now? Throw a reveal event? Press conference, perhaps?”
“That, or wait for a Demon-Level threat to pass through our city. I don’t know, whichever comes first.” Minho shrugged nonchalantly. “Wanna see something cool?”
Before you could agree, Minho held his palm to the sky before a neon blue blast shot out of it, disappearing into God-knows-where. You could feel the heat from the beam of light radiated around you and fear sparked inside your chest.
“What the hell was that!?” you exclaimed.
“Isn’t that so cool!? Gonna hit some suckers and fry them up like bacon!” Your boss blindly shot another beam of light into the sky and you prayed to someone out there that no planes would disintegrate in the process.
“Hey, careful! What if you hit a satellite or something!” In the process of grabbing Minho’s iron hand so he’d stop being so reckless, you burned yourself upon touching the hot metal opening like a total dumb ass and yanked your hand back. “Ah!!”
“Oh, shit.”
Quickly and haphazardly, Minho landed back on the helipad and climbed out of the iron suit. In the process of running back to your aid, he untied his black silk necktie to use as a temporary band aid on your scalding palm. Gingerly, his cold hands took yours and ran a thumb over the scarring semicircle.
“Ah ah ah stop!!” you cried with tears of pain and embarrassment streaming down your cheeks.
“Sorry! Here,” Minho wrapped his tie around your palm and tied it tightly. The pure silk felt cooling against the burn and soon your tears stopped and you couldn’t do anything else besides sniffle. “Let’s go back inside. My office has a first aid kit.”
Your mumbling and cursing boss led you back to his office with urgency, blaming himself for being so stupid and recklessly playing with what could be considered a weapon of mass destruction. And now his favorite person, the one person who believed in his iron suit, was hurt in the process, pouting cutely and holding your burned hand like you were an injured puppy. This was one of his greatest fears upon completing this project.
You sat on his sapphire blue velvet couch with the bronze-gilded frame that looked like it belonged in the Ravenclaw common room trying to alleviate the pain of the burn in Minho’s ice bucket (for his white wine, of course) while he shifted through his drawers to find the first aid kit you gave him a couple years ago.
“Do you remember when you got this for me?” he asked as soon as he pulled it out from the bottom drawer. You shook your head, too lightheaded and in too much pain to remember. He sat next to you and began to tell the old story while patching you up. “It was your third year working here, but my first day as CEO when I took over for my Dad. I got so many paper cuts from all the paperwork I had to read and sign and I got a massive headache afterwards and I just wanted to eat something because all I had that day was an iced americano. It was so late and by the time I was finished, it was maybe 7:00pm -”
“8:00 pm,” you corrected in between sniffles.
“Ah, so you do remember! At 8:00pm, you waltzed into my office wearing your comfiest clothes with a bag of take-out in one hand and the first aid kit with a million bandaids and Tylenol in the other. That night, you sat in my office and helped patch up my fingers, fed me lo mein, and helped me with the rest of the paperwork for two hours. I thought of you as my guardian angel since that day and vowed to myself that no matter what, you and I would stick by each other’s side and be the dynamic duo that we are forever. Oh, how the tables have turned tonight. Now I’m the one patching you up.”
Minho had finished wrapping your palm at the end of his story. Something about his proclamation didn’t sit right with you. Something about staying here forever, clocking in massive amounts of overtime and being subservient to the same men sounded like your own personal hell.
“I can’t be your secretary forever, Mr. Lee.”
“I know,” he admitted. “But I don’t have to think about that for quite some time, right?”
“Maybe.”
“I hate change, you know.”
“I, more than anyone else, know that.”
Your handsome boss chuckled lightly at the heavy subject. His curly coffe hair covered his eyes as he looked down at your hand and traced small shapes on the bandaid. You knew that he knew you didn’t want to stay here forever, and he couldn’t blame you, but it didn’t make the thought of you leaving any less heartbreaking.
“Does it feel any better?”
“Much better,” you said truthfully as the cooling gel felt like a magical potion.
“This first aid kit is the only practical gift I’ve ever received. All others are for the aesthetic.”
“Do you prefer practical gifts, Mr. Lee?”
“Of course! The fuck am I going to do with a VVS diamond-encrusted chain?”
“Flex on all the other young CEOs?”
“And partake in their pissing contest? No, thank you.”
“You’re telling me you won’t be doing that this weekend at the Charity Ball?”
“When I have you next to me, I don’t need VVS diamonds,” Minho grinned flirtatiously.
You hit his arm with your good hand and he flinched upon his correct prediction. “I am not an accessory!”
“Of course not! You are my beloved intelligent sidekick that all other big wigs tell me they wished they had! But when you look like that, it’s bonus points ~”
“Ugh, your kind are all the same!” you scoffed, trying to collect your things and storm out the door.
“It’s a compliment!” he teased. Minho managed to chase after you and grab your things to carry to his car so he could drive you home for the 1106th time.
--
After a long and tiring rest of the week helping your boss do target practicing with the iron suit on, Saturday had arrived and now you had the honor of accompanying said-boss to a Big Dick contest disguised as a Charity Ball. The main event was for the sake of the children of course, but the real show was to see who was wearing what designer with what accessories and who pulled up in the fanciest sports car with the youngest and sexiest date in their arms. You were so, so lucky to be working for someone who liked to stay low key, despite always being the center of attention.
“Why are you so nervous?” Minho teased, nudging your arm as you both walked up to the front doors of the venue. “This isn’t the first time you’ve played as my date.”
“I know, but it doesn’t get any easier,” you admitted, shyly covering yourself from the much-more revealing outfit now that it was tailored to fit.
“You and I look fine! Muted colors, minimal diamonds, low key attitudes - we’re perfect! No one will even notice we’re here.”
That was a complete lie, because the second you walked in, a swarm of gossip columnists and magazine writers circled around the two of you, bombarding you both with the same questions you were so used to.
“Mr. Lee, who are you wearing?”
“Mr. Lee, who’s your lovely date?”
“Mr. Lee, what’s the best way to lock in that your date will go home with you?”
Minho raised his hand slightly and all that could be heard were the cameras clicking. God, the power he has… 
“Dior, a close friend, and be so irresistible that they can’t say no.”
Without another word, he gently took your bandaged hand and led you out of the circle of gossipers who were silent in awe. With your free hand, you covered up your ugly laughing.
“You’re such a cornball!” you said in between a fit of giggles.
“An irresistible cornball, at least. Now, walk me through all these people again?”
Minho was young and when it came to networking, he still had the mentality of being the CEO’s son rather than the CEO. That meant that Minho didn’t care much in remembering other CEO’s names and relied on you to remind him of all the people he should have remembered three years ago. It was a consistent hour of introductions and small talk about future goals, collaborations, and golfing, all of which you were able to expertly tune out while sipping prosecco and snacking on caviar tarts. Years of experience thankfully made these events easier.
“Did you practice your speech for your donation?” you reminded Minho after taking a seat at the prestigious Table 2. Since the company was one of the Charity Ball’s biggest sponsors, the CEOs were always invited to say some manufactured speech.
“Yeah. I even practiced it in the shower. Hopefully I get the charity organization correct this time.”
“It’s amazing how you even got this far.”
The Charity Ball should have been named See Who Can Donate the Most Money Ball because every speech given by a CEO of some company tried to out-do each other. Luckily, your company’s speeches were always last and your touch of humanity written on paper always had the audience in awe with the Minho’s compassion. To pass the time, you and Minho played rock-paper-scissors and whomever lost had to drink champagne. Let’s just say Minho ended up having the infamous Asian Glow.
His face was still blushy by the time it was his turn and you almost felt bad because the pictures with the flash turned on probably wouldn’t be so flattering in the magazines, but that wouldn’t matter because he still looks like the most stunning man in the room. All eyes were on him as he made his speech, but he had his eyes on you. Probably because he would piss his pants if he saw how many people were looking at him. You gave him two thumbs up for encouragement.
“It is the greatest honor to be here and giving a speech for the third year in a row. Children are the source and future for a better world, and it is our duty to -”
You blanked out for most of it since you wrote it. It was hard to focus anyways when his eyes were so piercing, so you averted his gaze and counted the number of peppercorns on his unfinished steak. At an alarming fifty-three, you glanced around the gallery to see if anyone was actually paying attention. Many, if not all, of the guests around your age were paying attention with dreamy eyes and pouty lips, all wishing they were in your position tonight. Some even dared to make eye contact with you as if to say, ‘how DARE you NOT pay attention to the sexiest man alive!?’ The older, more powerful guests seemed genuinely interested in the amount Minho was donating and the older dates seemed to care more about their reflection on the back of a spoon.
The fattest check with a bunch of zeros was walked onto the stage. A standing ovation was in order of course, and you conformed with the crowd, even though applause always made Minho visibly uncomfortable.
“He throws a big, fat check to charity and yet he still doesn’t like the attention, huh?”
As the clapping died down and the noise faded into the smooth hum of the live piano and jazz music, you turned to face the owner of a familiar sly voice. The man that stood before you was the famous doctor slash art collector slash playboy who you’ve come to know after attending all of these flashy events.
You smiled slyly at the man. “If it isn’t GQ’s Bachelor of the Month, Dr. Park Seonghwa.”
The raven-haired man gave you his signature smirk. Then he took your hand and kissed it tenderly like the prince he is. “Lovely _____, pleasure to see you as always.”
“Have you been doing that to all the other guests you frequent at these events?”
“Of course not! Just the beautiful ones.”
You let out a loud scoff. “You and your way with words.”
“Are they enough to convince you to finally go out to dinner with me?”
“Not quite.”
Seonghwa sighed tiredly and dropped his head as if this was the first time you’ve rejected him. Guess every time felt like the first time. The handsome raven held his hand out to you. “If not dinner, how about a dance?”
Hesitantly, you searched for your boss like you were trying to sneak away from a parent. He was busy shaking hands and catching up with The Important People’s Club, so you didn’t think one dance would hurt, though once you feed a dog a treat, he’ll be begging for more forever.
You took his hand. “One dance.”
“Five.”
“One.”
“Three?”
“Dr. Park!”
“What!? Ok, fine, one dance, unless you’re really feeling it and then we’ll dance some more.”
“Maybe in another lifetime, Dr. Park.”
The young doctor led you to the dance floor before you could object further. For someone not-so-smooth with pick-up lines, he was definitely smooth with his moves. With one gentle hand on your waist and the other holding your hand, you two glide around the white tiles like the Royalty of the ball, and truly, for a few moments, it really felt like you were the star of this fairy tale.
Seonghwa let out a tired sigh. “Intelligent, beautiful, loyal, and good at dancing? How are you so good at everything?”
“Stop that.”
“I mean it! Yet no man swept you off your feet.”
“Just because I won’t say yes to you, doesn’t mean I’m not waiting for that special someone.”
Seonghwa held your hand up high and made you do a little twirl. “You might be waiting for a while, beautiful.”
“Why do you say that?”
“With Mr. Minho by your side twenty-five hours eight days a week, there is no man that has the courage to come in between such a strong relationship.”
“Even you?” you challenged.
“Even I. Unless you want me to -”
“Nope.”
“Ice cold heart as always…”
Song number one melted into song number two and it passed you both as you continued to discuss the hot topic of why you’re still single. It’s a conversation topic that you thought was reserved for nosy family members for you to brush off, but coming from another man who has begged for your number since you both met really put your love life into perspective. Perhaps you were too loyal to your boss…
While engulfed in the heated debate, Minho was desperately searching for his right hand where he thought you’d be - either at your seat or by the bar, but you were at neither. After receiving his order from the bar, he let the expensive gold liquid over ice flooded through his bloodstream, which led him to a group of gawking gossipers whining and gazing at the dance floor. What was all the hype about?
The sight of you in the arms of the world’s most arrogant doctor didn’t sit too well with him. The scene made him see green.
“You’re such a liar!” Minho heard you laugh aloud. “I did NOT give you so-called bedroom eyes at Yuta’s house warming!”
“You’re telling me you weren’t eyeing me up and down like a barbecued piece of pork belly dipped in sesame oil?”
“That’s because you had sesame oil on your white shirt!”
“Excuses, excuses.”
Minho took another sip of his golden drink before putting it down haphazardly and waltzing towards the dancing couple. To onlookers, this scene looked like it was straight out of those cheesy love triangle dramas. The gossipy gals wondered - would Minho punch Seonghwa? Would he grab your hand harshly and drag you away to scold you and tell you how much he cared about you? Would he kiss you!?
You saw your uncharacteristically stern-looking boss approaching, and even though you’re unsure of his intentions, you still smiled brightly, as you always did whenever you saw him. Minho lightened his heavy, angry steps. Even with another man by your side, you still looked at him. How could he be mad at you?
“Hello, Mr. Minho,” Seonghwa greeted, holding out a hand for him to shake. You knew your boss wasn’t the biggest fan of Seonghwa, but he politely returned the gesture anyways. Somehow you felt your heart beating in your throat - the tension on the dance floor was too high, too powerful, and you were but an awkward and nervous secretary standing on the side while two powerful men duked it out.
“Dr. Seonghwa, nice to see you again.” Minho was good at lying, but his lies never passed you. The amount of discomfort knitted in his eyebrows almost made you snicker. “Long nights at the hospital still?”
“As always, but at least it’s rewarding and enjoyable. How are your long nights at the office?”
“Can’t get enough of them, right, _____?”
“What? You’re still doing that much overtime?” Seonghwa asked worriedly. Now, was he worried because you were overworking yourself or was he worried because you were spending so much time with a man that wasn’t him?
You shrugged unapologetically. “I love that overtime pay.”
“_____, that’s not good for your health -”
“I tell them that all the time,” Minho interrupted defensively. He was always like this whenever anyone questioned the amount of work you had. To you, it was not much of a burden at all, but to anyone else, they couldn’t fathom your work hours but if they saw your paycheck, maybe they’d understand. Even your boss felt bad whenever your friends blamed him, but  no matter how much he tried to convince you of a normal 40-hour work week, the duties of being his secretary never added up to just that. Therefore, your boss always felt the need to defend you and him for the sake of making sure you weren’t portrayed as his slave. “But you’re just so stubborn, aren’t you?”
“Only because it’s you, Mr. Lee,” you said like you’re reading a script. Somehow that doesn’t translate through the ears of the two powerful men in front of you, as your boss smiled triumphantly and Seonghwa couldn’t help but shake his head.
“If you ever want to take me up on that date, Lovely _____, you know who to call.” The most handsome man who’s ever flirted with you took your hand gently and planted a sweet, soft kiss that sent little tingles all up your arm. You don’t think you’ll ever reciprocate his feelings, but the feeling of being desired and wanted by a man really kicked up your ego and really made you think - when was the last time you ever liked someone, or someone ever liked you?
Park Seonghwa disappeared into the crowd and perhaps left the Charity Ball all together. Until next time.
Your boss turned to face you, whose stern face quickly melted into innocence as he knew what was coming by the look on your annoyed expression. “What?”
“What was that all about?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You shook your head and mumbled under your breath, “Ugh, you are unbelievable, Mr. Lee.”
As you tried to escape, the desperate man caught your hand. “Wait, where are you going?”
“Away from you for just five minutes, can you let me do that?” you snapped in a hushed volume. “Or do you need to watch over me and speak on my behalf, since you’re my Father apparently!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to act like that.”
“You say that every time, especially when I’m talking to another man and even more-so when I’m talking to Dr. Park. When will your sorries mean something?”
“You know I get protective over you.”
“Again, you are not my Father!”
“I know, but -”
All of the attention that was once focused on the handsome CEO and his secretary shifted to the glass ceiling that was now shattered to pieces upon the force of some dozens of masked strangers dressed in all black. Minho instinctively, though harshly, forced you down so he could hover over you so none of the glass hit you. What followed seemed to be too numbing, as all of the stimuli in the banquet hall was too much to handle.
“Get down,” Minho instructed while pushing you under one of the tables. “Don’t move until I come back.”
“Wait, but where are you -”
“I’ll be back in ten minutes!”
“Mr. Lee!”
Of course, he didn’t listen, as Mr. Lee always did what he wanted, right? Which would normally annoy the fuck out of you, but who has the time to panic about what your boss was up to when you’re stranded under the table and shrouded by cheap table cloth linen?
Since those people had invaded and fallen from the sky, you noticed that no gunshots or any sort of violence outside of melee were heard. No purpose of the attack is even known yet, but the signs were promising, until the famous alarm was heard throughout the whole town.
“Threat level: Dragon. Please stay inside until all threats have been cleared. Threat level: Dragon. Please stay inside until -”
“Ah, yes, the richest of the rich gather here today to donate the smallest percentage of their some billions of dollars to charity,” a booming voice tisked through a microphone. “Do you feel good about your good deed of the year? Are you proud of yourselves?”
For some unknown reason, the voice paused, as if waiting for an answer or a reaction from the people. Nothing was heard besides shrill screaming and crying, which was probably what the wannabe-vigilante wanted. For the first time, you peaked through the slits of the table cloth. At the stage where Minho gave his speech was a now-broken stage with the foot of a giant robot through it. It was a very top-heavy robot that looked like it had a large cavity in its belly, whose odd shape probably served some weird purpose unknown to everyone.
“Perhaps you’ll be proud of your donations for once when we capture you all and milk you of your every last penny!” The man laughed evilly at the head of the robot. “Down with the rich!”
“Down with the rich!” his people cheered in unison.
The oddly political turn of events made the scene less jarring - it seemed like an over-exaggeration of townspeople coming together to fight for higher taxing of the rich. Then you were reminded of the Dragon-level threat by how the minions loaded up the richies with a gun pointed to their heads and the complex mechanism that loaded them up to the belly of the robot. Somewhere among the mass of people you saw Seonghwa in between another surgeon and a senior engineer at Tesla before he disappeared behind the walls of metal.
“Hey, I found another one!” someone yelled close by. “Under Table 2!”
Shit. “Fuck.”
Perhaps all those years of advance self defense classes that Minho’s father enrolled you in would come to good use this time.
By your glamorously-strapped heel, one of the masked men dragged you out from under the table. There was no use in struggling, and the man seemed quite satisfied with how you complied.
“Let’s go, darling.”
With your free foot, you dug the pointy end of the studded heel into his groin. Luckily, you can only ever imagine how painful something like that could feel. He was in so much pain that he doubled over and let go of your foot, leaving you to flee to God-knows-where after you stole his police baton.
“Don’t fucking call me darling,” you spat as a farewell.
There were too many men in between you and the emergency exit, so you had to fight your way through like in those cheesy American action movies. A bunch of kicks in the groin here and a couple baton to the knee caps there were enough to get you by half way, but then they started double-teaming on you. Of course, this was much harder, but Senior Mr. Lee didn’t give you the best sensei in the damn nation for no reason. You felt invincible even after defeating multiple double teams, but it was the triple teaming that got you stuck. You can only kick and baton so many groins at one time until two men held each of your arms and the other stole the baton.
While struggling to break free, you managed to knee the one in front of you in the chin, causing him to cut his lip with blood dripping on his cheap leather shoes. After realizing what had happened, he punched you in the cheek as punishment. Was that a bone you heard cracking?
“Try me again, bitch,” he seethed.
Out of nowhere, your knight in Iron armor landed before the one who punched you and returned the favor, sending his body through so many walls of this building that you worried about the foundation and how long you had before it collapsed.
Minho’s red and gold helmet swung sharply and the empty eyes were staring into the souls of your captors while at the same time not.
“Who’s next?” Minho threatened with his super cool and inaccurately deep robotic voice.
Both men fled the scene as quickly as possible, losing their grip and throwing you to the floor. The penny taste finally registered in your brain that yes, you were definitely coughing and spitting out blood.
The cold metal of Iron Man’s hand helped you to your feet while the other cupped your quickly-bruising cheek gently. The underlying tenderness of your boss’s touch somehow healed all pain, or perhaps it was the cooling iron. Gestures like these were so foreign that you almost forgot it was your boss behind the mask and not some handsome stranger who was ready to sweep you off your feet. It was instances like these where you wished the latter was real.
“Are you ok?” he asked gingerly.
“I’m fine,” you promised. “Go save your investors.”
A light chuckle came from Iron Man. “My driver’s already waiting outside. Are you able to run?”
“I’m not leaving without you.”
“C’mon, _____, now’s not the time -”
“Do not argue with me until you save everyone, Mr. Lee.”
Minho shook his head tiredly. He knew there was no use arguing with his headstrong secretary. “You’re so stubborn. Just promise you won’t get into any trouble this time.”
“No.”
“I’m cuttin’ down on your work hours!” he yelled, blasting off to fight the giant robot thing so he wouldn’t have to hear you argue back again.
You were left with a couple of masked minions who still had the balls to attack and capture you as if you were worth more than your surprisingly above-average five-figure salary. Your copper saliva mixed with your boss trusting you enough to not die in the middle of a Dragon-level threat really pumped the adrenaline through your veins, so as one man sprinted to attack, you managed to dodge it and kick him in the throat before he could try something else. The other guy tried to sneak up behind you, but you were quicker, swinging the baton hard enough to the head to knock him out cold. The power you felt coursing through your body left you on a major high. Where were all the other minions? No way was that all…
In the middle of the banquet hall was the face-off of the century, rivaling any and all story lines from DC and Marvel combined. A tiny seven-foot-something intricately crafted and painted sheet of metal was about to fight a giant several-stories tall and several-dozen-tons heavy hunk of junk with dozens of guests they managed to scoop inside. Now how was Mr. Lee going to save the day this time?
“Lee Minho, the man of the night,” the man controlling the ship scoffed. “You will look like my childhood favorite action figure once I stuff you in a glass box in my office! A prized treasure is what you’ll be. How does that sound?”
“Sounds kinky.” You could just sense the smirk behind his mask. “Then what will you do to me?”
“Milk you of all your assets, of course! Liquidation of its truest definition! The redistribution of wealth will come easy to the people, especially with your earnings in the mix!”
“Fine, take my money. But let these people go.”
“Absolutely not! I need all the money I can get! How do you expect me to change the distribution of wealth of the entire world with just one CEO’s salary!? Mr. Lee, I thought you knew that, silly.”
“Ok, fine. You take all of our money and then what?”
“Well, kill you, of course.”
A chorus of gasps and crying were heard from the belly of the machine.
The philosophical man continued. “People like you are the very reason there is a large pay gap. You sit on your ass drinking cocktails and eating caviar and you donate to some profiting charity only a tiny percentage of what you make while all the good hard-working people are the ones bringing the big bucks into your bank account! And what do they get? Small paychecks and four hours of sleep!”
Yeah, this guy was bad, but he had his points, so you’ll cheers to that, am I right?
“Well, then where will you get your money after that? Hm?” The captain stayed silent. “Where will you get more money to sustain this utopia? Certainly not from the hard-working people who have no experience leading or handling such a huge sum of money. And certainly not from you, right? Ha! With your five-figure salary paychecks that barely get the bills paid on time.”
A heavy arm swung to try and snatch up your boss. Though the arm was so large and heavy, Minho barely managed to escape his grasp. By the silence of the once-chatty leader of the pack, you could tell that he was bothered by the words spat by the youngest CEO in the room. How dare Minho mock his hard-earned pay when his earnings were given to him on a VVS diamond-encrusted platter!? There were a couple of times where he landed a couple of hits on your boss and you should feel worried, but you couldn’t help but think he deserved it. You hated to be on the enemy’s side, but you, too, were one of those five-figure salary paycheck owners that are barely scraping by with their bills. And of course you were all for the redistribution of wealth, but this guy definitely went a little too far…
You would think that the sheer size of this oddly-shaped hunk of metal wouldn’t be able to move so fast, but it managed to capture Minho by digging its claw to the wall and sandwiching Minho in between. He couldn’t even wiggle his way out between gaps because the thing was pressing too hard against the wall. Minho could feel the metal bending from inside.
“People like you will never understand the worth of the dollar,” the captain seethed. “Not when stacks come to you in baskets sewn with gold and jewels commissioned by your Daddy. People like you, and everyone captured, need to be humbled a little. Maybe you all can learn a little something from the working class.”
“Then we die, is that right?”
“Of course! But at least you’ll die a hard-working man, Mr. Lee.”
“I will. But I’ll die a hard-working man with billions in my grave before I let you take a penny!”
The blue beam of light that you once cursed for burning a half circle on your palm you were now thankful for, as that beam of light shot your boss up in the air and freed him, taking a few fingers off of the hunk of metal with him. A couple more shots of incinerator beams later, and both arms of the robot had been severed and half disintegrated. Minho kicked the glass where the leader sat and pulled out the defenseless lump of flesh that spoke the harsh truth about the wealthy. The leader was a young man who was not much older than either you or your boss, who didn’t look afraid in the slightest. Perhaps he expected, or even wanted, to go out this way - fighting for what he believed in.
The police, who had been waiting outside for all the ruckus to die down, came in and cuffed the leader and a few of his minions who cowardly hid under the tables. Minho helped all of his investors safely come out and among the crowd you saw Seonghwa, safe and sound.
You thought after a traumatic attack that now was not the time and place to reveal who Iron Man was or even associate yourself with him, so you tried to mix in with the crowd and book it to the driver like he asked you to do before. But of course your flaunty boss wanted to do the exact opposite.
“_____, wait!”
No, no, no, no, no, what the hell! Really!? Right now!? was how Minho read your expression as he walked to you with the suit on. When the seven-foot something Iron Man stopped before you, the face of his helmet slid open to reveal an out-of-breath Minho. The entire banquet hall echoed with gasps.
“Are you ok? You’re not hurt, are you? Your bruise is getting worse!”
You could not feel anything on the left half of your face besides intense pain and somehow numbness at the same time and your limbs felt like jello and over-kneaded dough. But you couldn’t let your boss worry about you - he needs to take care of more important people right now. You’ll be fine come tomorrow once you sleep on a frozen bag of peas.
“I’m fine, I promise,” you said convincingly. “Looks like you have an impromptu press conference to deal with.”
To Minho’s dismay, all of the cameras and press and the phones of his business friends captured his face inside the Iron suit next to his famous secretary that all his business friends wished they had. He knew you hated press conferences because even though you never said anything, you were always by his side and that meant the cameras were pointed at you also.
“I can deal with them. Go to the car and go home.”
“I can stay with you.”
“I won’t allow it. You need to go home and ice your face.”
“I said I -”
“I said go.”
Minho never raised his voice at you ever because he never had a reason to. You were always hard-working and loyal and you always did everything correctly and did it with his best interest in mind. He’ll allow small things that might be detrimental to your health, like all the over time you loved to have and the unhealthy amounts of coffee you drown yourself in. But when the arm that’s supporting your body weight was shaking, your left cheek was the color of aubergine, and you had blood splatters on different parts of your body, that’s when he had to draw the line. Worry was knitted into his brows and his lips were a flat line and you only ever saw his face like this whenever he talked with his father. It was terrifying to see him almost mad at you and it made your heart sink a little that you did something wrong.
He softened his expression upon seeing your glossy eyes. “Take Monday off to rest. I’ll see you on Tuesday, ok?”
“But -”
“I’ll pay you for your time off, so don’t worry about the money. I just want you to rest. Can you do that for me?” You could only nod. “Thank you. Go home - I’ll text you when I’m done cleaning up tonight.”
Minho plastered on his happy television face and returned to the fawning crowd and overly-thankful investors. You were blinded by the flashing camera lights and that was your cue that you didn’t belong there anymore.
The trot music-loving driver hummed the whole way home while driving on auto-pilot, as he had memorized the path to your apartment long ago. Sitting in the back seat covered head-to-toe in the finest satin wasn’t as luxurious when you were alone as opposed to having your equally-luxurious boss next to you. You imagined what it’d be like if a giant robot didn’t crash the party this evening: you’d probably yell at him more about how you needed space and that he was overreacting with the whole Seonghwa deal; then he might try to bribe you with food or dessert so that you’d stop pouting like a child (and you’d totally cave in); and finally, he’d walk you up to your doorstep begging to come inside once more and you’d deny his entry, only for him to leave you with a comment about how you were the most stunning person at the ball tonight.
In short, as much as you hated to admit it, the ride home was lonely. Can you believe that? Your short time alone away from your boss was fucking lonely. Not peaceful, not relaxing, not mind-clearing, but totally and completely lonely. So much so that your heart ached a little, and to put these feelings in the simplest terms, it was because you were so used to being by his side that the emptiness to the seat next to you mimicked an unfamiliar cavity in your heart. It’s a painful feeling, really, because that meant leaving this job would be much harder than you hoped.
As if he planted a tracking device in your phone, Minho texted you upon locking the front door to your place.
The Money Man [01:03 am]: did you make it home ok?
An involuntary smile spread across your lips.
You [01:04 am]: just got home. are you stalking me?
The Money Man [01:04 am]: you didn’t think the phone i gave you was completely harmless and bugless, did you? ;)
You [01:05 am]: i should have known better. how’s the impromptu press conference? are people surprised that it’s you?
The Money Man [01:07am]: they are, but at the same time it’s not. ppl keep asking me questions and won’t let me take the suit off, can you believe that!? it’s hot as balls in this thing!!
The Money Man [01:07am]: shit, gotta go - gotta somehow convince these idiots this is definitely NOT something to invest in.
You [01:08am]: text when you’re home.
The Money Man [01:08am]: yes, darling.
‘Darling’ has a nice ring to it.
--
Having Sunday all to yourself was normal and you did what you always did every weekend: cleaned your place, took your time making a nice meal, organizing all of your work papers, and ended the night with a hot shower and an ice pack to your cheek. Monday, on the other hand was a disaster. You were so bored! Your fingers were itching to scribble down your boss’s agenda and you were so tempted to log into your work laptop, but you knew Minho would chew your ear off for not listening to him and resting as you should. It wasn’t your fault that you were a work-a-holic!
After looking in the mirror and hating the way your face looked for the fiftieth time, it was time to accept that the bruise wouldn’t disappear for at least a couple more weeks. Sunday was at its ugliest, where the center of your cheek was a deep purple and there was this off-colored halo around the perimeter. Now, the swelling went down and it wasn’t as purple or painful, but still equally ugly no matter how you looked at it or tried to cover it up.
After a lonely and boring Monday afternoon, your doorbell rang around 5:00pm. You weren’t expecting any visitors or deliverymen, so upon peaking through your viewfinder, you were surprised to see your boss on the other side.
“What are you doing here?” you asked surprised.
Minho was glad you didn’t seem disgusted by his presence since he was the one who told you to take the day off and you must be tired of seeing his face by now. He whipped out an oily bag from behind his back with a child-like grin on his face. It was an unusual sight to see a man dressed in a several thousand dollar business suit carrying a twenty dollar bag of dinner.
“You and I have some business to discuss.”
“Hold on, let me get this straight - you tell me to take the day off, rest up, ice my bloodshot cheek only for you to come into my home and say I need to work?”
“Yup,” he claimed unapologetically, squeezing past you to get through.
“Yes, please come in, Your Highness,” you rolled your eyes, though he was already setting up at your dinner table.
“Your home is nice. Why are you always so embarrassed whenever I try to come in?”
“I mean, look at it. It’s nowhere near as nice as your home.”
“It’s as more of a home than my place will ever be, no matter how many velvet cushions and arcade games I ask you to buy for the place.” Minho whipped out two bottles of beer, his favorite chaser to wash down the oiliness of the fried chicken, and poured them into glasses. “How’s your cheek?”
“By the look on your face, I guess not so good?”
He adjusted his twisted expression upon your teasing. Blood and bruises were never his thing, so any variation of the sort just looked bad in general. “It just looks so painful… Have you been icing it like I asked?”
“I have, and it’s not as painful as it looks!”
“Oh, yeah?”
Minho challenged your claim by standing in front of you and lowering his head to see you at eye-level. His face was way too close to be considered appropriate for CEO and Secretary relationship behavior, though you knew he never cared for those formalities. His eyes were always so sparkly per usual and that gave him that dreamy stare all the ladies in the office loved. You never saw the appeal to it until now, with only a few centimetres in between.
He poked your bruised-like-an-apple cheek.
“Ow, what the hell!” you screamed, swatting his hand away.
“Not as painful as it looks, my ass.”
“Well, people don’t go around poking my cheek all day!”
“Do you need pain killers? My doctor can write you a prescription for the best one on and off market.”
“That’s ok, I only trust Dr. Seonghwa.”
Minho gave you the same look he gave a former intern who got his breakfast and coffee order incorrect. Let’s just say the intern started crying on the spot. You, on the other hand, could barely hold in your snicker from his death glare. You were never on the receiving end of the infamous death glare and now that you were, it was hard to take it seriously.
“Ha ha,” Minho fake laughed. “Not funny.”
“What exactly do you have against him, anyways? It’s surprising that you’re threatened by the likes of a doctor and not some other hot shot software company CEO.”
“I don’t have anything against him.”
“You’re such a liar!” you scoffed, taking a swig of the ice-cold beer. “If you didn’t have a problem with him, you wouldn’t have acted so defensive at the charity ball.”
“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” he said shamelessly. A vigorous bite of a chicken leg came afterwards. “He looks at you like how I look at chicken legs.”
“Well, maybe I like the way he looks at me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Stop doing that.”
“You deserve it for acting like my Dad that night.”
“I said I was sorry! I even bought you dinner and cold beer to make up for it!”
“Oh, so this is not because you said that me and you have some business to discuss?”
“Well, that, too.” Minho wiped his greasy fingers on his silk handkerchief that he kept on the inside of his breast pocket before whipping out his phone to show you multiple news articles on the night of the charity ball. “Watch these videos.”
Almost all of them were exposing your boss who was behind the genius that is Iron Man, but what preceded the reveals were clips of you kicking major ass. The sources came from both paparazzi and the security tapes at multiple angles and it was hard to hide the fact that it was you as all angles captured your facial features quite clearly. Headlines and whole articles talked about how the mighty CEO and his secretary were the perfect unstoppable duo and they weren’t wrong - you kicking ass in a sexy outfit with a man of iron handling the big guy? Definitely a story worth selling.
Your brows furrowed worriedly because you had no idea how Minho felt. “Are you mad…?
“Mad?” Minho paused the current video and placed his phone face-down on the table so he could focus on his good chicken and better company. “Why would I be mad?”
“I don’t know! What’s the point in showing me these videos?”
“To show you how bad ass you look! Where did you even learn these moves!?”
“For some reason, your father thought being a secretary was dangerous enough that he decided to enroll me in some classes. I actually really liked it a lot, so I kept at it and I guess I got to a pretty advanced level.”
“Pretty advanced is definitely a misnomer, love. Well, it’s good to hear that Father has made one good decision in his reign.”
“Is this the business you wanted to speak about?” you asked shyly, hoping that the beer was a good enough excuse for your blushing cheeks. You’ll never get used to Minho praising you.
“Sort of. I have a proposition for you.”
“What, that you want me to be your sidekick?” you scoffed. When Minho remained silent with only the same sly smirk on his lips, you could see your worst fears coming true. “Oh, God, you’re not serious.”
“I am one hundred percent serious.”
“Are you out of your damn mind!? I am not sidekick material!”
“You totally are! You and I are already the perfect duo! Why not take it up a notch!?”
“No, Mr. Lee, I cannot be your secretary again, but in a different form and outfit!”
“Why not!? It’s not like I’m not going to pay you for it.”
“The pay is not the problem. The pay is never the problem. It’s…”
How do you put that the pressure of keeping the entire country safe and being by his side twenty-four/seven sounded like your own personal purgatory that you could never escape for as long as you lived, or until you died by the hands of some Demon-level threat monster?
“It’s a huge commitment, I know,” Minho admitted. “Too huge to even put a price on it. But can you at least consider it? I can’t imagine anyone else by my side except you.”
Now only if a man who wasn’t your boss said that to you without any underlying superhero context, you might have considered the proposal.
“Mr. Lee, I can’t…”
You hesitated getting the right words out, but Minho knew why. You’ve been bringing up how you couldn’t stay his secretary forever, and although he knew this was true, he couldn’t help but try to keep you anyways. You’ve been loyal to him for so long that he often forgot how to treat you like a friend and not his subordinate. But the thought of you leaving? Soon, at that? It was something he didn’t want to think about just yet. He wanted to keep you by his side for as long as he could.
Minho downed the last of his beer before whipping out his phone again. This time a slow song played over the speakers. He stood up and offered you a hand.
You raised a brow. “What are you…?”
“You and I never got to dance on Saturday. So dance with me.”
“Here? Right now? In my small ass apartment?”
“The next charity ball isn’t for another month and I don’t think I can wait that long.”
His impatience was just shy of flattering - if only you weren’t so afraid of being within close proximity to him. It was one thing when he helped ease the burn on your hand, it was another when he touched your cheek while inside his iron suit, but the two of you alone dancing in the middle of your living room was a whole other level of intimacy that needed to be hidden from human resources,
You took his hand and he led you to the living room. One hand on your waist and another holding the one with the scabbing half-circle. The two of you swayed in silent contentment for several songs. It was a comfortable silence, but there’s some hidden sadness to it that you couldn’t explain - something along the lines of him missing you dearly, despite you being right in front of him, and you missed him dearly, too. So much that your nerves made you squeeze his hand harder, asking him to not let go of you for a long time.
Then your boss pulled you in close enough that it felt like he was hugging you.
“S-Sir?” you stuttered nervously.
“Thank you,” he began. “For always being there.”
“Well, that’s my job,” you snickered.
“Not just as my secretary, but as my friend.”
“You think of me as your friend?”
“I do. Don’t tell Vice President Chan this, but I consider you one of my closest friends.”
“You’re quite soft, aren’t you?” It took a moment to register that he was definitely not joking. The tension in your shoulders diminished and you were able to relax in front of the equally-vulnerable man. “I consider you one of my closest friends, too.”
“Really?”
“By association though. After all these years being by your side, it’s only natural that I came to like you.”
“I like you, too,” he chuckled, tucking some hairs behind your ear. “A little too much, at that.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“In another lifetime, I feel like you and I would be soulmates.”
“You don’t think we would be in this lifetime?”
Were you hoping to be? “Perhaps. By association though, right?”
You didn’t want to press more about any underlying meaning to his statements, so instead you looked down embarrassed. In another lifetime, in this lifetime, in multiple lifetimes, Minho thought you and him would be each other’s soulmate no matter what, because a lifetime with you sounded perfect.
A thumb gently ran over the perimeter of your cheek bruise and it tickled rather than burned, so that was a good sign that it was healing. A loud tisk came from your boss.
“God, do I really put you through this much pain!?” he cried aloud.
“Huh? You didn’t cause this - those dumbass followers did!”
“I guess, but I was the one who brought you to that event! And what about the scar on your hand, huh? I definitely caused that one.”
“Well, yeah, but -”
“That’s it, I can’t be hurting you like this anymore. I can’t be putting you through all of this danger like you’re my bodyguard. I have to let you go.”
You knew he was joking when he couldn’t hold in his cheeky smile. “That is not probable cause to fire me, Mr. Lee.”
“Really? Dammit.”
“No matter how many times I get hurt, you can’t get rid of me that easily, ok? I go out on my own terms!”
“So strong willed… I almost hate it.” Minho sighed exaggeratedly before pulling you in for a real hug this time. His arms squeezed your waist tightly, letting you know that he didn’t want to let you go even if he tried. “Just make sure to give me a two weeks notice, all right?”
“Anything for you, boss.”
“I’m going to miss hearing that from you the most when you leave.”
You hit his chest lightly, but he caught your hand and held it for a few moments before leading you back to your kitchen to finish up dinner. The rest of the night wasn’t you and your boss - it was you and your closest friend enjoying dinner and some ice cream you had in your freezer.
In another lifetime, huh? Too bad you were stuck in this one.
--
Work has mellowed out in terms of paperwork and actually work and has instead transitioned into more press conferences and meetings with government officials regarding Iron Man. In theory, the meetings sounded cool, but you wouldn’t know for sure, as your boss decided to take one of the newer girls as his assistant for these meetings.
The first time he denied your company, you were only a little confused, but it soon passed when he said there was a lot of paperwork he only trusted you to complete on his behalf. But when he would bring her to every event - whether it was out of habit or on purpose - for an entire month, and her only, it really made your blood boil.
No, you weren’t jealous…! You weren’t jealous he was hanging out with someone younger and prettier and more his type! Definitely not! You were upset that your boss, whom you called one of your closest friends in a time of vulnerability, was already replacing you before you could put your two weeks in! And you knew this to be true when he denied your invitation to get lunch and instead you found him in the cafeteria laughing and flirting with the new girl at the table you and him would always sit at.
For a whole month, without even knowing it, you were slowly getting left behind and replaced for someone better - someone who would actually heed his every word and never argue. Someone who would keep their mouth shut for once. Someone who wouldn’t mind taking order from him forever.
It had been a month since you were living in this limbo, and tonight, the night of the Animal Cruelty Charity Ball to which Iron Man would be making a guest appearance, was when you knew he no longer needed you.
“You’re taking Ryujin…?” you repeated, as you couldn’t believe your ears.
“Yes, so you can go home early if you want,” Minho said as he fixed his bow tie in the giant mirror in his office. He then turned to present to you with an ignorant grin. “How do I look?”
“Why are you taking her?”
“She’s been working hard this past month, so I thought I’d reward her with tonight and have her practice some networking skills.”
“How generous of you,” you mumbled bitterly to yourself.
“Hm?”
“Nothing.”
“Can you help me put on this chain necklace thing? The clasp is so damn tiny…”
Reluctantly, you helped clasp the silver jewelry. While you thought your boss was heavily admiring himself in the mirror, he instead was focused on you and how your face was uncharacteristically stern.
“Are you ok?” he asked sincerely. He pressed a firm hand to your forehead. “Are you sick?”
You harshly swatted his hand away. “I’m fine.”
He shrugged it off, thinking that you probably had a bad week with all of the boring work he’s been having you deal with. A lot of weird and unsettling energy was pent up inside of you for the past month, so before you exited Minho’s office for the weekend, for some reason you thought this was the appropriate time to speak on it.
“Actually, I’m not fine,” you blurted out. Minho gave you his full attention for the first time that month. “I… I’m putting in my two weeks.”
His eyes went wide. “What?”
“I’m giving you my two weeks notice.”
“Do you have a job lined up?”
“No, but I will figure that out later.”
“You don’t have another job lined up but you want to quit? Where is this coming from?”
He didn’t sound angry. He wasn’t - he was more hurt than anything else that you wanted to leave without a proper explanation. He thought you and him were doing well… What changed so suddenly?
“I can’t do this anymore,” Minho noted how your voice was shaking. “I was fine when you had me staying ungodly hours, I was fine when you had me get you coffee every morning and your dry cleaning every Monday, and I was fine when you involved with the Iron Man project, but now all you’ve given me lately is paperwork and shit that the new hires should be doing and not myself!”
“_____, language -”
“And why is that? Why do I feel like I’m starting to get left behind already, or-or why do I feel like you don’t appreciate anything I do!? It’s clear to me that you’ve already begun to replace me, so what’s the use of me staying here when you don’t want me anymore?”
Minho was silent. You couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad or surprised at your sudden outburst. The tension in the room was suffocating and his silence even more so, like this was his ideal form of psychological torture. Minho didn’t seem to care for your feelings anymore as he turned back to face the mirror.
“Your two weeks has been noted,” was all he said.
You left the room in tears, with your blood still boiling and your heart crushed. But this was a good thing. In the end, this would be a good thing, is what you were trying to tell yourself, because this lifetime wouldn’t let you be with Minho.
--
Another month passed by and you were left in a worse limbo than you began with a month and a half ago. No one was contacting you about any job offers so you were left to ‘self-reflect’ or some bullshit this self-help book told you to do for the past two weeks. Luckily, all the overtime you put into your savings account had vastly accumulated into an unthinkable sum that would support you far beyond whatever the government noted as a proper unemployment time. Like, you didn’t even know what to do with the money sometimes - thank Minho for time-and-a-half, huh?
On days where you couldn’t help yourself - when you felt like torturing yourself - you would look up Minho on all the tabloid sites. Surprisingly enough, this happened way more than you’d like. Of course, as you speculated, Ryujin had quickly taken your spot as his secretary and God, did you like to shit on how terrible she was! You didn’t have to be at the office to know that Minho must be frustrated with her by the crookedness of his ties and jackets and how she must have forgotten to schedule a salon appointment by the look of his roots and unruly brows.
Ha! That’s what he fucking gets for not being grateful! That dick!
What a shame your relationship with him had come to. To spend what felt like an entire lifetime with him to being complete strangers, it was like you were reborn into this new and fresh carefree person. So carefree that you hummed on the way home with a bag full of fresh produce from the local market.
Perhaps you should have been less carefree, as a stranger snuck up behind you and knocked you out cold.
--
“Ryujin, where’s my document-signing pen?”
“Um, in your drawer?”
“Which drawer?”
“The one with all the other pens…?”
Minho sighed loudly, running a hand through his curly locks and staring intently at the mess of papers that scattered on his desk. His desk hadn’t been this messy since the first day he started when he had to sign all of those official documents that transitioned him to CEO. The same day when he fell for you.
Ryujin, who was nothing close to a secretary compared to you, was only getting on his nerves these days. Perhaps yes, he’s been a little too harsh on someone who’s still fairly new, but in truth he just didn’t have a way to express his frustration about you leaving all of a sudden. Where had he gone wrong?
“Take the rest of the night off,” he told his subordinate.
The poor girl bowed obediently and scurried out the room.
Another sign left the young man’s lips. This time it was because he was tired. He couldn’t deal with anymore bullshit tonight.
An anonymous FaceTime call rang his phone. Who could be wanting to FaceTime him at such an odd hour of the weeknight?
When he swiped to answer, all he saw was you tied up roughly to a splintered chair with tape covering your mouth. Minho nearly dropped his phone.
“Good evening, Mr. Lee,” a familiar voice sang. From the shadows behind you emerged the fake vigilante that led the invasion of the Charity Ball. “I see that you’re doing well.”
“What do you want?” he demanded quietly.
“I think you know what I want.” A shiny knife drew a line across the other cheek, small drops of blood seeping through and mixing with the dried tears and dirt. Minho’s heart felt like it was collapsing. “A blank check addressed to little ol’ me.”
“If I see another scar on them, I’ll kill you,” he threatened.
The man held his hands up high in defensive mode and took a step away from you. “Fine, I won’t touch them! Just give me what we want near the docks.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Oh, and one more thing - come dressed in Iron Man and I’ll slice their throat. Bye!”
The line cut dead and Minho had no choice but to leave empty-handed with only a blank check in his pocket.
The air inside the enclosed cargo bed was hot and suffocating and your rising panic did not ease your pain or heavy breathing one bit. It didn’t help that the guy and his minions were playing with your hair and playing with their knives, dragging the dull edges on your arms and neck. Normally, you wouldn’t be so weak and crying to the point that the tape around your mouth was loosening up, but life these days was tough and perhaps an event like this, causing Minho major inconvenience once again, was what you deserved.
Scurrying and uneven footsteps were heard from outside and you really, really hoped it was Minho not dressed in Iron Man.
“Here already? He must like you,” the leader teased.
The back of the cargo bed opened up to reveal that the sun had fallen a long time ago and the light of the moon outlined your plain and simple hero. He didn’t give the leader a second passing glance before blindly shoving the blank check to his chest and rushing by your side to untie you. First, he ripped off the tape and you let out loud gasps of air and cries.
Minho’s shaking hands take hold of your face to try to calm you down. “Hey hey, shh, I’m here. Are you ok? Are you hurt?” You shook your head vigorously, whining and trying to break free from the ropes tying you down. “Hold on, I got you.”
Before Minho could untie your hands, one of the minions hit him on the back of his head the same way they knocked you out. But your boss was stronger than that - his head was harder than his iron helmet. At the failed attempt, Minho hurled the guy over his shoulder and out the cargo bed. Your bad ass boss got up like it was nothing, but he was breathing heavily.
Not because he was tired or weak, but because he was furious.
Three more guys tried to kick his ass and it was then you realized that your boss wasn’t just some fake hiding behind an iron suit who could program it to fight. He truly was kicking their ass! Like, raw strength and all! If you weren’t scared to death, you might have thought this was kind of hot. But then Minho punched one of the guys too hard and it sent him flying over to you, to which you fell over and broke the chair. The rope was no longer tied to anything and you were free.
Yet another one of the lame-o sidekicks tried to capture you again, but now you were equally as furious, if not more, than your partner in crime. How dare they sneak up on you and not even give you a chance to fight back!? That was the definition of a weak-ass group of villains! So of course you had to show them a lesson and kick a few balls and some asses. But the number of asses was infinite and you were getting really tired. They had enough people to fight you and Minho until you couldn’t keep up and then they’d kill you easily.
“Mr. Lee, now would be a good time for one of your brilliant plans!” you begged between kicks and breaths.
“Ten seconds tops. But when I say so, I need you to hold my hand, ok?”
“What!? What are you planning!?”
“Just trust me!” You and Minho saw the leader direct the last ten of his minions to finish the job. “Ready? Three… two… one!”
A heavy force on the outside pushed the cargo bed off the edge of the pier and into the ocean with the purpose of drowning everyone in it. The only sensation you felt was ice cold water freezing your blood flow and Minho grasping your hand for dear life while trying to swim up to the surface. Before blacking out from lack of oxygen, you felt the ripples of something entering the ocean and saw a faded red and golden glow of light. Not a second later, a hollowed Iron Man on autopilot rushed you and Minho to the surface and placed you gently on the sand just under the pier. The silent night was filled with a chorus of ugly coughing fits from you and your boss. What a wonderful CEO slash ex-secretary couples activity this turned out to be.
As soon as your breathing returned to a rhythmic beat, a wet, crying, sand-covered Minho held your face in his still-trembling hands. He didn’t say a word - he simply held you and pressed his forehead to yours, making sure that yes, this was real, and not some unconscious dream where he was still in the middle of the ocean drowning. Yes, you were there with him and you were alive.
“Why are you crying? I was the one kidnapped,” you joked, hoping it’d lighten up the mood if but a little bit.
Minho laughed between sniffles and shivers, but couldn’t stop crying. He was smiling, but still crying, and if that didn’t perfectly depict this situation, you’re not sure there’s anything out there that did. Haphazardly, he planted a cold kiss on your forehead before pulling you into a hug.
“I’m so happy you’re ok,” he whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Why? You had nothing to do with this.”
“I’m just sorry in general. I’m sorry I took you for granted. I’m sorry for making you feel like I was replacing you. I’m sorry for not buying you that cappuccino three years ago. I’m sorry for -”
What’s the only way to silence your sexy boss in a heartfelt moment like this that would complete this superhero plot line? Kissing him mid-sentence, of course. You kissed your loving boss fully, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your whole body into it. It took him a while to register that yes, his secretary was definitely kissing him, but once it did, he kissed you even harder, enough to make you fall back onto the grass with him on top of you.
You’re left breathless the moment your lips parted. “I-I, uh, I forgive you…”
“How could you ever think that I could replace you?” he muttered. “I could never. Not in this lifetime.”
“You also said that me and you wouldn’t happen in this lifetime,” you challenged.
“Lifetimes can merge into one, I guess.”
Iron Man returned to Minho’s basement as soon as his job was done, so your favorite driver picked you two up in ten minutes with plush hot towels and dry clothes to change into. The pajamas you wore already had your initials monogrammed over your heart.
“Yeah, uh, about that,” Minho began awkwardly on the car ride home. “I was going to gift them to you a couple Christmases ago, but you said that monogrammed clothing was cheesy and stupid, so I abstained…”
“... They’re not so bad,” you admitted truthfully. “Very soft.”
Coming home to Minho’s felt so wrong, yet so right. You’ve only ever been inside for business reasons, such as redesigning his closets and kitchen pantry, but now that you were here on leisure - well, after almost fucking dying - it was kind of weird. But Minho holding your hand reassured you that you were wanted here - that he needed you here, damp with salt water and all.
“Take a shower upstairs. I’ll go make some tea.”
You gladly obeyed, using your favorite shower that you helped design. The door and the walls of the shower were made of glass and the shower head hung from the ceiling, making your long, hot shower feel like it was raining. Your body was covered in cuts and bruises and it was really ugly, but you’ve never felt more badass and in control in your entire life.
You left the shower smelling like orchids and eucalyptus and entered the kitchen that smelled like ginger and honey. Minho, who had also showered, followed shortly after, stealing a kiss on your cheek that was cut up earlier that evening.
You followed Minho to his giant marble island while he poured tea into white mugs on the other side. This felt so… domestic. This felt so right. This felt like home.
“I have a business proposition for you,” he smirked slyly.
Well, that ruined the moment. “What, no ‘how have you been the past month since I replaced you with some other chick’?”
“I promise I’ll ask that after, but I need to ask you this.” Your hard-headed boss was all giddy just at the idea of it and it was the first time in a whole month since you’ve seen him smile like this. He was so, so cute.
“Fine, what is it?”
“I want to hire you back.”
“Mr. Lee, I already told you, I can’t -”
“As the Head Director of the Iron Man project.”
Your eyes widened at the prestigious title. “Head Director?”
“You stayed by my side through all the criticism and the praise and I can’t imagine a better person for the position.”
“So it’s not just a fancy title for like, super mega ultra secretary, right…?”
Your handsome man chuckled. “No, I promise.”
“Head Director, huh?” your lips slowly spread into a grin. “I like the sound of that.”
“Is that a yes?”
“On a few conditions.”
“Hit me.”
“Higher pay with time-and-a-half.”
“Obviously.”
“I get my own secretary.”
“Only if you don’t fall in love with them like I did.”
You rolled your eyes and continued. “An extra week of vacation.”
“You’re pushing it.”
“Last one. I’m your date to every event from now on.”
Minho raised his eyebrow teasingly. “Oh? And if I say no?”
“Then I say no.”
“Jeez, I’m kidding! So strict. Of course you can, on two conditions.”
“Fine.”
“You call me Minho from now on. Or boyfriend, or soulmate, or sexiest man alive, or whatever suits your fancy.”
“Deal.”
“Second,” Minho leaned in and puckered his pink lips. “Seal this with a kiss.”
You start your new job next week - after Minho cashed in one week of vacation to spend with his soulmate.
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kingreywrites · 3 years
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Au where Eugene is a single father to a baby varian during the events of tangled
Send me an AU and I'll tell you 5 things about it
You know what, I'm going with Varian being like, really young, like 6-7 months old? this age is arbitrary but basically i've already seen this kind of scenario with varian being a little kid around 5yo, but never really with a baby baby (but that's probably because I missed it asghdjdjd)
- okay everyone say RIP Quirin because he's still Varian's father but he, uh, dies. For some undefined reason, with Varian's mom too while we're at it, and for some undefined reason again, Eugene finds this baby crying alone in his home and is like. oh. Maybe he was trying to rob something, but basically he's faced with an abandoned baby, and he might have made stupid choices in his life, but he's not gonna let a kid die, so he takes Varian with him to get him food and all. And then Eugene is like... should I try to get him to like... upstanding citizens or whatever? Because that's a whole ass baby, and he's not living a life suited for a baby but- but if he does that, then the kid is gonna up in an orphanage, isn't he? And Eugene knows how much life in an orphanage sucks, he knows what growing up without anyone to care about you does to a kid and he... he can't go through with it. So he decides to adopt Varian, and suddenly he is hit by Responsibilities™ - he uses most of his (stolen) ressources to make sure they have a home on the outskirts of Corona, and he thinks this is gonna be fine
- it is not, in fact, fine. He did have "economies", but it's not sustainable - he stopped stealing for a while because surprisingly enough, babies take time, but soon he realises that he can't go on like that. He needs to have more money to take care of Varian, and no one is gonna hire a wanted thief, so he's like. hm. i'm gonna steal the Lost Princess' crown so me and Varian can be set for life, i'm a genius that's definitely the easiest way to go about it (it is not)
- he finds some clueless old lady to take care of varian for a few days during the whole... crown theft, and then the beginning of the movie plays out the same - he's probably a little more desperate to get the crown back, but he's not gonna tell this stranger who knocked him out with a frying pan about his son, is he? During the campfire scene, he does open up a little, but he still... doesn't exactly say everything, but something like "I have someone I need to take care of, that's why I stole the crown" etc. Idk I feel like it wouldn't change much in the end, because though Eugene is more responsible because of Varian, he also... would still see life in a bitter kind of way, and Rapunzel helps him see that there's more to it than this, there's more to him too
- when the kiss during the lantern scene is interrupted, the Stabbingtons have a surprise for Eugene :) because :) you guessed it :) they're not as stupid as Eugene thought they were, and oh wow look what baby is sleeping in one of the brothers' arms :) Eugene is terrified, he never wanted Varian to be hurt because of his life, and they're basically forcing him to betray Rapunzel too but she doesn't deserve that either, and Eugene just... feels really really guilty. And anyway they kinda bang him in the head again, puts him on a boat with the crown and the baby, and when Eugene wakes up the guards are taking Varian away from him and he's sure Rapunzel is in danger
- Eugene is set to be hanged again, but maybe this time you can add kidnapping to his charges whoops - at least he knows Varian is somewhat safe, so when he breaks out of jail, he goes save Rapunzel all the same, but he's just... He feels like he failed everyone, he feels like he's not good for the kid and it's better if Varian grows away from him, and when he dies, he feels extra guilty about it, even though he doesn't regret giving up his life - he doesn't think anyone will really miss him anyway, and Rapunzel deserves to live and experience freedom more :')
- bonus point because i need to finish this but basically he comes back, Rapunzel is like "I'm the Lost Princess", Eugene is like "I'm a Single Father", coming back to the castle gives him access to a lot more things to take care of Varian, and he really decides to become someone this kid can rely on. That changes some things between him and Rapunzel - he doesn't want to force her into responsibilities she didn't choose, but they still love each other a lot so it needs a lot of communication and trust (thankfully they have plenty!)
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doberbutts · 3 years
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@sheprd
its hard to have a well rounded convo about this just cus of the reply character limit but no worries, no aggression taken and hopefully its clear from me as well. i dont feel strongly about this because i dont intend to alter any potential dog outside of the standard like that but;
basically, yes i do feel the same so long as its not hurting the dog (i dont know if the collie folds are detrimental or not, if they arent then same to that) personally i greatly value agency over all aspects of life and that includes my pets. for things that are exclusively aesthetic in nature i do think its a little ridiculous to get judgmental and upset at buyers for that
if it were something like a breeder wanted a dog to be shown and was open about that, but the owner made an alteration like that to the animal, then the issue isnt so much the alteration as it is the conflict of interest and breech of trust. im not trying to advocate for peoples right to go behind their breeders backs or anything. im specifically wishing breeders didnt mind it at all
i already do think that there are many things about breed standards i dont agree with, in particular over-emphasis on arbitrary aesthetics. i think its odd to believe that dogs can and should have their ears altered one way, but not the other, when neither shape serves any purpose to begin with (and there is already lots of variety to crop styles)
so yeah i still do just wish this wasnt something people would judge over, but we dont have to agree on that either! im not trying to advocate people breeding super out of standard, or even for animals with these alterations to be allowed in shows. just for owners to be able to do what they want with their animals. its the same as a breeder being upset at someone dying their dogs fur in my eyes
As you said we don’t have to agree on this point, but I do disagree with some of what you’ve said.
Dying a dog’s fur is a ridiculous thing to be upset about because that is temporary. Same with cutting the hair- for the most part, unless it damages the coat beyond repair. Hair grows back. Deliberately changing a dog’s ears (or any other form of their presentation) is permanent. That means there is no way to fix it if shit hits the fan.
I do think it is a breeder’s right (responsibility even) to care about how their dogs turn out, and someone who deliberately changes what that dog is supposed to look like because they thought it looked nice without telling the breeder would definitely be considered a breach of trust in my book (if I bred, which I don’t, so grain of salt time). There are plenty of dogs out there that look that completely out of standard and the response really is that if you wanted that look why not go with that dog (general you) instead of buying a dog that was going to look a certain way before you changed it.
Additionally while you may not put a lot of value into cropping styles, there is less variance in correct crops for a doberman than you might think. This is why doberman breeders who are decent crop their puppies prior to going home- to prevent people from getting a shitty crop from a vet that doesn’t know the correct style. They teach new owners how to train the ears to stand and provide help in person whenever possible. You may see dobes with a lot of variance but that is not what is intended. And we have found that dobes without perfectly standing cropped ears have a seriously reduced chance of being adopted if their first home doesn’t work out, whether in rescue or from a breeder. I’ve spoken on this blog before about how if the ears aren’t nice cropped or natural, then the dog is that much less likely to generate interest. A friend of mine ended up with a dog that was missing half his natural ear due to an injury specifically because no one wanted him due to the cosmetic defect. So yes, arbitrarily deciding that (general) you like the natural-but-standing look is great until you have to rehome your dog for whatever reason and suddenly no one is interested and your dog languishes in a rescue environment for years because of (general) your choice to permanently change (general) your dog’s ears.
Cropping also used to have a purpose, back when it was more commonplace and the style was drastically different, and while today’s modern crops are much longer and no longer functional you cannot say there is absolutely no reason for them to be done. Just because I specifically would not crop my dog if I had a choice in the matter doesn’t mean I don’t recognize the history and function behind the procedure, even if I think it’s silly to continue to rationalize today’s looooooooooooooong crops with the same thinking.
I understand what you’re saying as well- many people are not comfortable with a breeder of a dog having a say in what they can or cannot do with their dogs, and for the most part I totally empathize. This is one thing, however, that I would not blame a breeder for being upset over. Even if Sushi and Fae were not show dogs, their breeders would not be happy with me if I just decided to post Sushi’s ears or glue Fae’s down just because I thought they’d look cuter that way. Their immediate responses would likely be why not get a panda shepherd or a chi mix from a shelter if I wanted that type of look, I’m sure. Keep in mind that Fae I own outright so technically whatever I do with her IS my decision and legally speaking there’s really nothing her breeders can do about whatever I decide except if I don’t want her anymore I have to give her back to them. But we formed that relationship and trust in order for them to trust me with her, and doing something that drastic would be going back on that trust.
Something I find a bit... missing... on tumblr and no this is not just @ you here I promise, is that people really do not understand what it’s like to have that type of connection with the person who produced your dog. They trusted you with a dog they did not have to sell to you, a dog they loved before it was born, a dog they have high hopes for... and I think a lot of people on here are a little too caught up in wanting the freedom to do whatever they want whenever they want however they want without realizing that there is someone who loved that dog before you were in the equation that would like some form of say over big decisions like that.
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lesbian-bird-talks · 3 years
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On: Appare-Ranman
This is my first official post, so hello and welcome! My name is Pidge, pronouns in the bio. 
This blog is entirely for me to just rant and rave about the anime I’m watching, probably long after they’ve finished because keeping up with seasonal anime would take much more out of me than I am willing to give. 
I don’t know how to work Tumblr well so don’t mind me too much if things look shitty! I’ll figure stuff out eventually.  Also, everything will be going under the break for people who’d like to avoid spoilers! Appare-Ranman came out in April of this year, but I know there are people like me who like to wait until a series is fully out before you go back and binge it. There will also be a TLDR at the start if you’d just like to read that!   
TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF RACIST IMAGERY
TLDR; The anime is okay. My favorite part was the relationship between Kosame and Appare, but I really wish they had done more with the interpersonal relationships between the other characters. The fight scenes are lackluster, there are large plot holes that aren’t ever explained, and most importantly one of the more important side characters is a black man with a noose around his neck. I’d give the anime a 2.5 - 3/5. 
STORY
Lets start this off with a basic summary of the narrative. Appare-Ranman centers around the duo Appare and Kosame. Appare is a genius inventor with big dreams and a lot of ambition, but less than great social skills. Kosame, on the other hand, is a cowardly swordsman who’s tasked with the job of looking after Appare. Due to a series of events, the pair end up in the middle of the ocean, stranded on a steam ship Appare built, and have to be rescued by a freight ship. The pair end up stranded in America, and enter a cross-continental race to earn the money to head back home. 
When I first saw the plot synopsis of this show I was super excited! I really like the idea of having such a contrast between old-school Japan and 1700′s America. On that aspect I wasn’t disappointed. What DID disappoint me were some of the more gaping plot holes in the story. The first of which being how in the HELL are two Japanese men fresh off the boat communicating with Americans? 
A freight ship captain might be able to speak Japanese since his business is overseas, although him having a translator would be more realistic. But what about the other citizens? Why can Appare walk right up to the owner of a car shop and ask him for a job? Eventually I let it go while I was watching, but it irritated me that it was never explained.  The plot itself doesn’t have too many big twists and turns. And when it did, I can’t say I cared about them all that much? 
Jing’s race helped to reinforce the themes of doing the impossible and not letting others define what you’re capable of, but it felt very hamfisted in it’s message about femininsm and “girls can do the same things boys can”. I got tired of them repeating that so much, and I really wish Jing had been the one to punch that smug bastard at the end of the race instead of her boss. He doesn’t get the right to defend her after not even giving her a chance until she nearly crashed. 
Kosame killing the person who killed Hototo’s family felt,,,very rushed. And something that should have been used as an experience to develop Hototo’s character, who I believe stayed pretty static along with the rest of the cast, was instead used to develop KOSAME, who apparently lost his mother as well.  Speaking on that - I laughed at the scene that showed Kosame’s mother getting killed. I giggled at that shit and you wanna know why? Because the way it was set up was ridiculous. 
The murderer hops out of the bushes, he slashes his sword across the mother’s back, and then just... runs away down the street. 
We do not learn why he does this, we just see it happen. It’s meant to be a dramatic reveal about Kosame’s past and yet it’s almost comedic in it’s suddenness. But I also laugh at a cockroach singing scat so what the hell do I know? 
The latter half of the story doesn’t really contain any huge flaws, and most of it’s weaknesses come from the fact that the cast itself is fairly weak and I just couldn’t get invested in the stakes. When Sofia got kidnapped I just didn’t care all that much. The only two things I knew about her character was 
a. she could drink a lot 
b. she took up her mother’s role as Al’s caretaker
That was virtually it. If she lived or died I wouldn’t have thought anything of it. Which is really bad when this is meant to be the climax of your show, this is when I should be the most invested. 
CHARACTERS
Most of the characters are fairly one note, with none of them having anything that makes them particularly stand out beyond their odd choice in fashion. 
Speaking of odd choices in fashion, lets talk about Crazy TJ
The singular black character in the show, and you put a noose on him? Your singular black character, and you decide that you want to make him violent with questionable morals? Your singular black character, and you make him as unempathetic as you possibly can?  I love anime god BOY HOWDY do I hate how racist anime can be. 
Crazy TJ isn’t the only one-note character, though. Most of the supporting cast don’t have much going for them. What can I say about Jing? That she’s a feminist who likes to race? And what about Al? The only three words I can think of to describe his personality are “rich white boy”.
I’m unsure of how I feel about Gil, though. On the one hand I think he pairs well with the idea of “the only limits you have are the ones you set for yourself”, with Gil being the immovable object to Appare’s unstoppable ambition. But at the same time he just felt very...over the top. And there was never any time given to explain just how he rose to power or why he may be the way he is, or even why he’s doing what he is. He’s just an indiscriminate killer, and those sorts of characters can be fun, but it’d be nice to know a bit of his history so we can know more about why he is the way he is. 
All in all, there wasn’t much that stood out to me character-wise. They were all fairly bland, although there were a few interactions outside of the main three that I found to be really cute, like the relationship between Tristan and Hototo. But for the most part none of these characters would be all that interesting for me to watch go on an adventure outside of the happenings of the anime. 
The exception to this being Appare and Kosame. Mostly Appare. 
Out of all the cast I really do think these two have the most character development, with Appare learning how to care for and rely on other people more and Kosame learning how to take risks and opening his mind up to new possibilities. I really love their dynamic, and seeing them interact was probably the best part of the show for me. Kosame and Appare are like an uncle and his weird nephew who have a really wholesome relationship. If these two didn’t play the lead roles then I don’t think I would have even finished this show. 
And I especially love Appare. He is my son. My little baby boy. I love him with all my heart 
CLOSING REMARKS
All in all Appare-Ranman is an okay anime. The concept is interesting, and I did enjoy watching the characters race cross-country, but a majority of the cast is fairly bland, the plot and writing fall short in areas I feel are important, and there’s literally a black man with a noose around his neck. It has quite a few problems, but I like the overall message of not letting other people define your limits for you, and I really enjoyed watching Appare open up to Kosame and the other people taking part in the race.
 If there was another season, I’d like it to possibly be done with a different writer. And for Crazy TJ’s design to lose the noose. That shit is gross and I don’t understand what the character designer was doing when they put it on there. 
This rating is pretty arbitrary and not based on any scoring system, but I’d give Appare-Ranman a 2.5 - 3/5!
This isn’t the best review by a long shot but it’s just my personal experience while watching the anime over a three-day period. At the end of the day, these are all my opinions! If you disagree feel free to tell me, or maybe point out something you think I overlooked, just please keep it respectful~
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welcometomy20s · 3 years
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March 31, 2021
.Hololive Quarterly Report
I was trying to write this, then it became painfully too long, so I stopped and I’m going to try a much abbreviated version. I don’t why I’m writing this preamble.
Usada Constructions - Buy
CEO Pekora has come back from the creative crisis in late January, her response to the Akukin relay, Pekoland has been quite the success, and Pekora has hired three new people and taken two into actual production, and there has been talks of two more recruitments. Usada constructions has been the premier revenue maker in the server already and with renewed vigor, Pekora has inadvertently cornered the service industry, with her business associate Moon, making the HoloID mall, and hiring Botan or Menya Botan and Kiara of KFP in the process, and thinking hiring Watame, which has a food delivery service.
Future is looking bright for UsaKen and one should buy the stocks now.
Akukin Constructions - Sell
Akukin has a bright start with the recent hiring spree then the wildly successful AKukin Building Relay... and boasting 25% of the workforce in their wake. But CEO has been hampered with failure of her personal projects, first with her loss in the Mario Kart tournament, and then her failure to get the elusive solo Master in Apex. Perhaps, buoyed by her failure, she’ll return to Minecraft, but for now... there has been minor outing of the employers.
Both Mio and Marine went on Minecraft once after the relay, Marine to push Kanata to make her noteblock machines, and Mio in basically upkeep. Rest of the players have been quiet or have been associated with other people. Roboco have played once of twice, although she didn’t even participated in the relay. Choco has been mostly working as a broker for Flare, who is a contractor for Akukin. Lamy and Nene has been basically doing their own thing, mostly since they haven’t had anything else to do... and that’s it, I believe. Iofi, Mel, and Akirose never returned to Minecraft after the relay.
Well, Shion returned after four months with Rushia as the guide... but seriously, Akukin is all but over unless there is a serious reorganization. Sell them!
Shirauni-Elite Conglomerate - Buy
This is outside of current consensus, but it makes for me because it fits the current state of things. Miko and Flare first found their calling by basically gaslighting Kanata into operating a school. They have sense collaborated many times, Flare being part of the four heavenly kings and expanding their partnership in the urban environment, more specifically in Los Santos.
Flare’s turn in Minecraft basically leads me to reassess Flare’s strengths. Flare was kind of the straight man of the 3rd Gen, but she has shown that she could be as wild and unpredictable as the rest of the Hololive Fantasy. Flare eventually roped Polka into an apprenticeship, and Polka’s ability to pop into the most unexpected direction really helped with Flare’s stream as well.
Flare is having the time of her life, and her lover Noel has finally turn the tide on her devastating decline due to the great ASMR purge in early 2020, by embracing the English duolingo... finally passing up people, after falling so far.
Yeah, you should buy here. Although Miko’s recent pause is little worrisome...
Oozora Constructions - Hold
Subaru has been doing a lot of work... her biggest strength has been her free talks, she is a great storyteller, but that’s obviously hampered by language, which is why Subaru made the difficult move of having English summary in her topics, which is a great improvement for her... but her collabs have been on fire, and I mean Oozora Police was just amazing, with good timing as well.
Apparently Subaru has a new costumes, collabs, and original songs coming up in the next quarter, so Subaru is going to surpass already high expectation made during this quarter. As for her company though... well, Subaru has been a... lone duck in the situation. (Sorry for the pun)
Famously outcasted as Kanata and Marine were chatting up with Moona and Reine, Subaru has been lonely for quite sometime. Subaru has been working an actual commission from Korone, although Korone is most inconsiderate Hololive member (as evidenced by two consecutive Kuukiyomi tests), which is a bad sign. Rushia has been working well, both independently and with Subaru... now Luna... that’s the cinch of the situation at this moment.
I’ll talk about Luna later, but overall Oozora has its strength and weakness perfectly balanced. It’s a hold for me, although it can be a buy quickly...
Haachama Constructions - Buy
Haachama started off kind of lost. She recently moved back to Japan, and she didn’t really knew what direction to go off on... apparently a horror unfiction was her choice. It is a great unfiction, in all its spirit, the meta-component worked perfectly, the improvisational and interactivity was unparalleled, it is astounding that this a one-woman production, since even a dedicated team might not pull off this feat, taking images made minutes before the stream is due and incorporating them into the story flawlessly.
Akai Haato always impressed me, but this arc showcased that to everyone. And her future seems to be bright as she starts working on Season 2. Just buy!
OkaKoro Constructions - Hold
Both Okayu and Korone has been steady in their output, minimal collabs and continuing their series of old games. Korone has been particularly clever in her selection of games. Everyone playing Undertale, why not play the game that inspired the whole thing, Earthbound? People are playing Dragon Quest? Well, how about a classic version, Dragon Quest 3, instead of 11S?
But other than that, there wasn’t much going on... then the OkaKore anniversary concert happened, and I realized they still have so much progress. One commenter said how Bloom was a failure because there wasn’t any idols in that list, namely Watame, Okayu and Korone, and I started to agree.
But that’s just one performance, we don’t know if this would be foundation for something better. So let’s hold on the papers for now.
Kureiji Constructions - Hold
There’s always a bit of anxiety when one is lauded as the next new star, least to me, I was always anxious about Ollie’s growth. She could be great, she has plenty of talent, she’s a massive simp and a social collaborator, but her personality can turn on a dime if not careful. Fortunately, Ollie made good on herself, having one of the more explosive growth and becomes generally accepted as a peer, recently doing a large Mario Kart collab.
It’s still a hold, since I have residual anxiety, but this is a good stable company.
Seiso Pillars - Buy
I never really got the appeal on Sora, until she put on her glasses on. Her movement was so fluid and practiced, you can tell she’s a young lady with ambition, which is contrary to the goddess image. Azki has been making the move that Suisei did in end of 2019, slowly putting herself in the comedic spirit of rest of Hololive, and her Vtuber showcase is freaking phenomenal.
Suisei has been flirting with the pillar in Minecraft, and bring the third of HoloKazo(?) in Los Santos, letting her psychopathic side fully. Suisei used her arbitrary demonitization to her advantage, reinvigorating her streams immensely. I thought about holding, but honestly this is a buy. They are going to get better.
Shirakami Forestry - Hold
Fubuki wanted to finish her cherry tree by spring. Well, that didn’t happen. But Fubuki has been doing okay. Fubuki has made some radical moves this year, firmly associating with Coco. Remember that Fubuki’s explosive growth was due to Chinese fans, and this is true of Aqua as well (which is why Aqua has been more distant lately), so to associate with one of the most hated Vtubers by the ‘West Taiwanese’ is a risk, but one made with the knowledge that her base can be shifted, since this did not impact her growth at all.
So Fubuki is going to be Fubuki, no matter who she associates with. Hold.
Free Agents - ???
Matsuri might be the most valuable free agent, but she’s kind of like a public official, helping to keep stock on the commons, and helping Luna as well. This is why Luna is the kingmaker. Luna has connections with both Subaru and Matsuri, but their connection is either loose or non-associative. She can be convinced, but she could easily refuse... and who knows how that would affect Pekora.
Most people thought Matsuri was going to join UsaKen, and that might still be the case, although Pekora is notoriously uncomfortable of senpais.
Risu is next valued player. After her explosion in the 4th quarter, Risu has been struggling to keep afloat, although Risu seems to be fine with her laggard growth. Her impromptu Nier;Automata streams are always a delight, and her Spring soundboard has been fun as well. Risu also returned to Minecraft for a bit, so she might be on the hunt... she would be a great addition to UsaKen.
Ayame is the third player. Ayame has been inconsistent this quarter, mostly since she streams the least amount out of anyone. Her recent collab with Marine was something though, although that’s going to be paused for a bit.
Anya is the last person, just because she doesn’t have Minecraft and she is the least subscribed member. I think it was surprising how Anya’s stream has been. Instead of doing gatcha and perhaps talking stream, her game selections has been far off the beaten path, more so than Korone and Okayu, and she has been blazing (that’s another pun) her own trail much to her detriment.
I mean she’s fine in the grand scope of things, still very interesting move.
Okay, that was the short version, and even then it’s really long so... yeah.
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rittz · 4 years
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thoughts about being trans, idk where else to put them so here u go
it’s not like i don’t have trans guy friends to talk to about this, it’s just usually in the form of jokes or passing comments rather than an actually serious conversation. also, the transmasc people that i’m closest to identify more with the label “nonbinary” than i do-- it’s not like they couldn’t understand or relate to things i’m saying, but i’m just assuming that they probably don’t feel the exact same way i do
anyway, as a trans person we get often asked “so why do you feel like a [gender]?”, and the answer is usually some variation of “i just feel like it”. this is the most accurate but also vaguest possible answer, so i kinda wanted to break down my personal answer to that question?
basically, i identify as a man because i identify with men. in a general and also personal sense. gender stereotypes are something that trans people by necessity both embrace and reject. i relate to gender stereotypes about men more than those of women-- i’m less outwardly emotional, i like being handy, i don’t like kids, i have questionable personal hygiene, etc-- but obviously these things alone don’t make someone a man. however... you can’t deny that there is some general truth about behavioral differences between men and women (bc of society, not biology). men and women both experience different problems in the world, and each have trouble understanding the experiences and problems of the other. generally, i can relate to the experiences and problems of men more than those of women, even if it seems like i shouldn’t (for example, i am not afraid of walking alone at night, even though i am very tiny).
i, from a young age, have had a constant yearning for more male friends. i would occasionally choose to play video games as a male character. i was upset that i couldn’t be in boy scouts. i have been jealous of my younger brothers being treated by my parents the ways i wished i was treated. when i imagined myself older, i pictured myself less like my mom and more like my dad. when i’m around men, i want them to treat me like one of them. i want to be seen as a man.
and i think that’s what being trans really boils down to. wanting to be seen as someone other than how everyone sees you. wanting what you see on the outside to match how you feel on the inside. this obviously extends to nonbinary individuals, who face their own struggle when it comes to presentation. but at the end of the day, i think that presentation is equally important to gender identity as internal feelings. i mean, i think we’re all familiar with the research proving that transitioning makes trans people happier. surgery is an invasive, expensive, painful process that i DON’T think is necessary for every trans person, and HRT isn’t always easy to get. but changing a name, getting a new haircut, dressing differently, binding, etc. counts as transitioning. you don’t have to hate your body to be trans, but wanting to alter it in order to better connect your internal identity with your presentation, i think is necessary in order to consider yourself to be trans. 
i will admit i am confused by “GNC trans men” i see on tumblr and insta, who use he/him pronouns but exclusively present femininely. i’m not talking about trans guys who don’t yet pass, i mean trans guys who don’t want to. i don’t harbor any ill will, i’m just confused. if i understand being trans to mean “wanting what you see on the outside to match how you feel on the inside”, you can see how. doesn’t that make you feel dysphoric? don’t you want people who see you to read you as male? how is your life different from when you didn’t identify as male but presented the same way? this isn’t me trying to gatekeep on who’s “trans enough”, and especially when it comes to nonbinary identities it’s arbitrary to harp on presentation like this. but like, what’s going on here?
taking a turn here that will come back around, an extremely key component to why i identify as and with men is my sexuality. i have always idolized, envied, and evoked various queer icons from media and real life. the hunky, grunting, macho, hetero version of “man” never appealed to me the way that the fashionable, artsy, flirty, homo version of “man” did. drag queens, my mom’s hairdresser, glam rock stars, i could go on. associating my more feminine qualities with GAY stereotypes instead of FEMALE stereotypes suddenly made more sense, and made me feel less dysphoric. it’s also something that took me a long time to realize, because i had surrounded myself with queers who were mostly attracted to women. transmascs and butch lesbians historically have a lot in common, but personally, i didn’t relate as much to lesbians as i did to drag queens. in dating and loving men, i developed my understanding of them. but my attraction to men was why it had taken me so long to realize i felt more like a man-- i thought i was just some weird straight girl.
now, am i calling these “GNC gay trans men” with long pink hair and poofy skirts and conventionally attractive bisexual boyfriends “weird straight girls”? ...well, not to their faces. but i have to admit that i’m thinking it. these people would never go to a predominantly-male gay bar, these people would never be harassed on the street. i’m not saying i know someone’s identity better than they do, but i don’t agree with the liberal utopian ideal of “let everyone do whatever they want as long as they aren’t hurting anyone” when taken to mean that we can’t question other people’s choices. “why do you feel like a man?” is a question that, coming from another trans person, isn’t inherently transphobic. it’s not “forcing” someone to “prove” their “transness”, no one “owes” me an explanation of their identity. i’m just confused. i don’t disapprove of the way these people live their lives, i just want to know why.
a straight girl being feminine is different from a gay man being feminine, because it has less to do with personality and more to do with society’s historic view of gay men as closer to female than male because of the loving and fucking men aspect. an AMAB gay man wearing makeup and a crop top probably just wants to look good, but he is also signaling to other men that he’s gay via gender non-conformance. by being AFAB and female-passing, wearing makeup and a crop top is not GNC. in fact it’s pretty GC, and gay men will not recognize you as a gay man.
it’s easy to say “gender is fake so do whatever you want”, but like, we have to acknowledge reality. time is a social construct too, but we still use days of the week when talking to each other. strangers will treat you differently depending on what gender they interpret you as. different people will be willing to date you or not. you have to choose which public bathroom to go in. if being misgendered doesn’t bother these people, then who cares? but if it DOES, which it usually does, wouldn’t you want to take steps to prevent being misgendered in the future? if your desire to present femininely is stronger then your desire to be seen as male, then like... why call yourself a male at all? ultimately nothing these people do will really affect me in any way. it just makes me wonder if these people will eventually go on to present as male, or if they will later ID as nonbinary or even cis. i encourage people trying out different labels and exploring their identity, so it’s not like i think these people SHOULDN’T identify as trans guys. it’s more like, i wish they were able to articulate WHY they identify as trans more than “because i said so”. not wanting to be a woman doesn’t automatically make you a man, it just makes you not a woman.
maybe i’m particularly cynical because of the MULTIPLE times that people with larger online followings who identify and present this way have later turned out to be lying, manipulative people. hopefully it goes without saying that i do NOT think that everyone who identifies and presents this way is a toxic liar. the reason i bring it up is because some people genuinely can’t understand the possibility or purpose of misleadingly claiming a marginalized identity, but it can and does happen. an analogy could be made here about white people claiming indigenous heritage. we all WANT to believe what people say about themselves, and asking for “proof” is a social no-no. but we shouldn’t just... automatically trust everything someone says about themselves, right? and as bad as i WANT to live in a world where gender doesn’t matter and everyone default uses neutral pronouns and there are no divisions in clothing stores and bathrooms, we don’t live in that world (yet). when you are AFAB, /extremely/ femininely presenting, and have little to no plans of transitioning, saying “i am a man” will not make other people see you as one. and if you don’t want to be seen as a man, then maybe you aren’t one.
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artdaily7 · 4 years
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Reading Between the Lines: The Basics of Analyzing Poetry by hypnoticwinter
INTRODUCTION Outside of literature classes, very few people read poetry closely. Hardly anyone on tumblr does; people scan a poem, decide immediately if they agree with what it’s saying or not, or judge by some arbitrary scale how aesthetically pleasing it is, like or reblog it, and then move on to the next.
Appreciating poetry requires time and effort. Putting in the time and effort will allow you to recognize truly good poetry and distinguish it better from mediocre poetry.
Poetry has rules. None of them are hard and fast, and they all can and should be broken in different ways, but knowing how they’re broken or upheld in a particular poem will improve your own poetry and your interpretation of poetry.
CONTEXT The first step in analyzing a poem is discerning the context of the poem. Who is the poet? How old is he? What gender? When and where was he born? When was the poem written? What things were going on in the poet’s country and in the world at the time? Sometimes this information is not available, sometimes it is. When it is, knowing it can lead to singular insights into a poem that might not be apparent otherwise. “Absalom and Achitophel” (Dryden) is entirely indecipherable without the historical context Dryden is writing in, whereas with this context, it’s only mostly indecipherable.
Does the poem stand on its own or does it make references to other work? “God’s Grandeur” (Hopkins) can be read on its own but if the reader has any knowledge of Christianity at all it makes more sense - and what other work to go to for Christianity than the Bible? If a poem requires additional reading, do it. And if you can’t tell whether it does or not, investigate.
If a poem is entirely self-contained, is it more accessible? Literally, yes. Does it gain more than it loses by not making any references or calling on real-world events? Depends on the poem.
CONTENT AND DECISIONS Read the poem twice, once in your head and once out loud. Note your reactions each time. What did you feel when the poem was finished? Did it elicit any emotional response at all? Poems that don’t aren’t necessarily bad - but the ones that do are rarely bad.
If you do react, focus on that - why did you react the way you did? If you groaned at the end and thought ‘wow, that was a long poem,’ was it really, or did it just feel long? Was that feeling the fault of yourself or the poem?
Once you’ve read the poem out loud, think back over what you’ve just listened to. Was there rhythm? There doesn’t have to be - but discord is usually better to be avoided than embraced, unless for a specific reason.
When a poet begins to write a poem, he must make decisions. One of the first is in even writing a poem. Every poem can be equally expressed in prose - that is to say, the meaning transmitted can be transmitted identically via prose. Why did the poet choose to write a poem rather than prose? Is it apparent?
Some of the decisions a poet makes when writing a poem are not immediately decipherable. Sometimes they are made simply because a decision has to be made and one choice is as good as another. But other times they are made for a purpose, and understanding the reasons is important to be able to interpret the poem more fully. In order to do this you must examine every decision, even the trivial ones, for a trace of meaning. These decisions can vary wildly based on the actual content of the poem, but from a strict formal perspective, they usually go something like this:
Why write a poem? What should I write about? What is the purpose of my poem? Should I write in an established form? Should I rhyme? Should I use meter? Should I use some other organizational method? Should I use other devices, such as alliteration? What words should I use? How should I break my lines? How long should my poem be? Should I use stanzas? What sort of tone should I use?
The next sections will go over each of these criteria one by one, so get comfortable.
WHY WRITE A POEM? What’s the difference between poetry and prose anyway? Line breaks come to mind, and prose poems don’t even have those - but they are still poems.
According to wikipedia, “Poetry is a form of literature that uses aesthetic and rhythmic qualities of language—such as phonaesthetics, sound symbolism, and metre—to evoke meanings in addition to, or in place of, the prosaic ostensible meaning.”
Also according to wikipedia, “Prose is a form of language that exhibits a grammatical structure and a natural flow of speech, rather than a rhythmic structure as in traditional poetry.”
Rhythm is apparently a key element of poetry, and this is a statement I’d agree with. Poetry tends to use heightened language and imagery while prose can afford to be more prosaic, as it were, as it has a story to pull itself along with, rather than just words. A poem can tell a story too, but many do not.
A poet chooses to write a poem because he wishes to write beautifully. Whether that wish is realized is another story.
WHAT SHOULD I WRITE ABOUT? Choice of topic is another basic decision for the poet to make, but one that has perhaps the most effect upon the finished product.
Topic limits a poem’s audience, and upon reading a poem, whether you liked it or not, you should consider ‘what sort of person would like this kind of poem?’ and ‘who wouldn’t?’ Does the author belong to this audience? Are they writing for themselves, then? Do they want to be part of this audience?
The poet’s choice of topic is effectively their choice of audience. Poems that are written obviously for a certain audience make a reflecting statement about the poet.
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MY POEM? This question is different from ‘what should I write about?’ because it deals with a macro level, rather than a micro level. Purpose is something like 'to transmit a feeling’ or 'to tell a story’ or 'to send a message.’ Purpose is often obtuse; if it is obvious, that can reflect on the quality of the poem - specifically, poems that set out to tell a specific message tend to be one-dimensional and flat.
Ambiguity is better than obscurity is better than directness. In reverse order, one interpretation is worse than a million interpretations is worse than several interpretations. Poems that tell one specific message read like church hymns, which can have beautiful language and evoke fond memories, but which are still flat and lifeless because they focus on one thing only. Obscure poems cannot be interpreted easily because the reader doesn’t know what the writer is talking about. A million interpretations can be made but none mean anything because there is room for all of them. A few interpretations is the best choice because it provides room for different views but squeezes them in tightly enough that they must be fought over.
SHOULD I WRITE IN AN ESTABLISHED FORM? Note that the choice is not between 'writing a sonnet’ and 'writing free verse.’ Sonnets are an established form, but a form can also be something like two seven-line stanzas with four pairs of rhymes between them. Forms the poet makes up on their own are still forms, and restrict their writing - and are more difficult to write within the confines of.
'More difficult’ doesn’t necessarily mean 'better,’ but writing a striking poem while under restrictions is more impressive than writing a striking free verse poem.
If a poet does write a sonnet or a villanelle or in an established form, you should pay attention to how closely the poet follows the rules of the form. If the poet doesn’t follow them closely, that’s a statement - and it’s up to you to figure out what that means. Sometimes it means the poet is just lazy.
SHOULD I RHYME? Like writing in an established form, rhyming places restrictions on a poem. The main thing to watch for when reading a poem that rhymes is how well the rhymes flow with the content of the poem. Forced rhymes are the mark of a poorly-planned poem; rhymes should be effortless, integrated wholly within the narrative of the poem. If a poet suddenly talks like Yoda just to maintain their rhyme scheme, they just choked - and letting that out into the public eye is another choke as well. Or is the poet doing it for a purpose? Only rarely will a purpose justify this, and bad poets will use art as a crutch to excuse their fuck-ups. Do not believe them.
If a poet doesn’t rhyme, their poem is less difficult - and thus less impressive when good, and more excusable when bad.
SHOULD I USE METER? These days fewer poets use meter than rhyme, and fewer poets rhyme than write free verse. Meter isn’t necessarily difficult, but it does require a lot more work from the poet to produce a poem that doesn’t sound stilted. If a poet doesn’t use meter, they’re making a statement - that meter is antiquated, or that they don’t want to put the effort in, or that meter wouldn’t suit what they’re saying. Pay attention to this - but excuse them, because meter is a lot of work, and isn’t as impressive as it used to be.
On a more basic level, meter can include rhythm - which is essentially just asking whether or not the poem sounded good. When you read the poem out loud (you read the poem out loud, right?) any line that sounded odd should be noted. Often these are lines that are far too short or far too long for the other surrounding lines. Putting in lines like these can cause the reader to rush if long, or slow down if short. Sometimes this is what the poet intends; but more often the poet cultivates this effect through punctuation or other means.
Rhythm, if used well, accents what’s going on in the poem. Pay attention if a poem is short and choppy or long and plodding and see if it matches up with what’s being said.
SHOULD I USE SOME OTHER ORGANIZATIONAL METHOD? There are very few poems that don’t use some kind of organizational method, even if that’s only because line breaks are a means of organizing a poem. If a poem doesn’t have one that’s immediately apparent, count syllables in lines, read the first letter of each line, count words in each line, look at line lengths, see if the poet is doing anything interesting with tabs - if you can discern a pattern, that’s intentional. What does it mean? Depends on the poem.
Sometimes poets do so simply because symmetry is appealing. Other times because they’ve just discovered the function of the tab key on their keyboard. Other times still when the method of organization ties in with the poem in some way - and this last category is the most skillful.
Like the above categories, this is a method of increasing the difficulty of writing a poem, like conducts in Nethack. Taking a bunch of conducts doesn’t make a win more valuable, as a win is still a win, but it does make doing so more impressive, considering the increased odds stacked against the player - or the poet.
SHOULD I USE OTHER DEVICES, SUCH AS ALLITERATION? These devices often don’t make a poem more difficult, but can make it more interesting to read. Think back to vocab words during your high-school lit classes and you’ll probably have a good idea of what these devices are. If they’re there, take note - and if they’re not, don’t worry too much about it.
WHAT WORDS SHOULD I USE? One of the more important choices a poet can make. Blunt language leads to a different feeling than hidden or symbolic language. Being too flowery can set one kind of tone, while being too vulgar can set another. Pay attention to a poet’s word choice and pay very special attention to the imagery, metaphors, and similes they use, as these are what largely determine if a poem is good or not - how original, skillful, and simply GOOD word choice is. A good poem should make the reader think 'damn, I wish I’d written that’ - and if there are no clever turns of phrase or beautiful images, that’s less likely to occur.
A special note is to be given on uncommon words and on profanity, which is that if it is in one part of the poem, it ought to be in all parts of the poem. If it isn’t, that raises the question of why - and can be jarring depending on how much or how little the element is used. Good poets will use this to highlight a shift in tone or in speaker, while bad poets simply won’t think about it.
HOW SHOULD I BREAK MY LINES? While to an extent this can also cover 'how long should I make my lines?’ this question usually boils down to 'to enjamb, or not enjamb.’ Enjambment, for all our level one learners out there, is when a sentence is stretched between multiple lines of a poem and thus the lines break in the middle of a thought. Note that the reason this usually DOESN’T cover 'how long should I make my lines’ is because skillful poets will usually figure line length based on how it makes the poem sound.
On a very basic level, enjambment makes the reader hurry up and move on to the next line. Not enjambing (end stopping) makes the reader pause, even if very slightly, at the end of a line. Good poets will use this to control the pace of the poem - and if it is used, you should ask what it does to the poem’s pace.
HOW LONG SHOULD MY POEM BE? If a poem is too short, it can be extremely difficult to make it good. If a poem is too long, it can be extremely difficult to hold the audience’s attention unless it is very good. If it felt like a poem dragged while you were reading, go back over it. Ask if each line is necessary to the narrative of the poem. Can anything be cut? Should anything be cut?
Likewise, if it feels like a poem isn’t long enough, ask what it’s missing. Did it get to a point, or did it end before it could?
In any case, a poem should be entirely focused and tight. Poems that meander all over the place, even if they’re of a sensible length, lose the reader’s interest fast - and after all how couldn’t they? If the topic is too boring for the poet to stay focused on, how will the reader be able to?
SHOULD I USE STANZAS? If a poem is long enough, it’s rare not to see stanzas. Stanzas are usually used in some capacity or other to break up distinct thoughts into their own sections. If they’re not - what’s the stanza doing there? Does it have a purpose or is the poet, as with rhyme, sticking blindly to an organizational scheme that is no longer organic with the poem?
WHAT SORT OF TONE SHOULD I USE? Ideally a poem’s tone would match in some way with its subject matter, but at the same time, it doesn’t have to. No matter the topic, tone makes a statement - and it’s up to you to determine whether a matching or mismatching tone means something important - and in a good poem, it generally will.
Two specific mentions should be made here, and those are GRAMMAR and SEX.
Like in any other form of written work, improper grammar breaks the audience’s attention. When you read the world-famous quote “In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence,” what stands out first? If you know anything about English at all, it’ll be the grammar. Using improper grammar takes your audience out of the poem and makes them think 'oh look, a comma’ instead of 'oh wow, this poem is great.’
The same thing can be said about sex but to even more of a degree. As soon as a poet refers to sex, the reader pays less attention to the poem and more attention to the sex described in the poem - which is why the best poems about sex are suggestive but not explicit.
GOOD AND BAD POETRY As any bad poet will tell you, art is subjective, which means that there isn’t any definitive thing to point to and say 'you did this here which means this poem is bad.’ Whether a poem is bad or not depends on who’s reading it. Don’t think of the above decisions as criteria, and if a poem doesn’t meet a certain number of them it’s automatically bad. A poem can disregard every single one of the above decisions and still be good if the writing is beautiful and vice versa.
Most of the decisions above regard difficulty - and a more difficult poem, if done well, will be more impressive than an easier poem. Not better - just more impressive.
Goodness usually comes down to word choice and imagery and the application of all those little mechanics of writing. Those can’t be taught; you either have it or you don’t. A good poet doesn’t think about it; a mediocre poet balances everything in his mind at once in his effort to write a good poem; a bad poet also doesn’t think about it.
Marcel Duchamp 1919 L.H.O.O.Q. pencil on reproduction of Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, PC
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0poole · 4 years
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Some thoughts on Temtem
Because as far as I’m concerned Pokemon games are some of my all-time favorites (as a group, since they’re basically all the same) so naturally there’s a lot to say about Temtem. Considering this is the first standalone Pokemon-alike that got serious attention, especially after the Sword and Shield riots making Pokemon fans just want something else, it’s basically the game that’ll let different developers make their own Pokemon-alikes. 
And yes, I am going to call them all Pokemon-alikes because let’s be real that’s the role they’re trying to fill. 
But actually, for once, there’s a few major things that I really dislike about the game. Like, seriously dislike. Considering we’re coming from the stuff people always disliked about Pokemon, I feel like it’s easier to be critical about this stuff. Might as well start with them so I can end on a higher note:
Conversations with random tamers. Literally like 95% of all tamer battles start with some sort of conversation with them, all of which require you to press some random response to either skip the dialogue or go through a completely pointless series of dialogue. There’s absolutely 0 chance I’m interested in what these random people have to say, because I know that no matter what, it’s going to end in a fight. Maybe if they made it so you can actually convince some tamers not to battle you, then it might be a fun mechanic (although I still wouldn’t bother, it would just have a purpose). But, no. All it does is make me want to spam click through everything and start the battle as soon as possible. It’s legitimately annoying. When it comes to more important tamers, it makes sense, just because that’s a convention of RPGs and junk. It still feels pointless, but at least it’s the norm.
The evolution system. Unlike Pokemon, where you evolve once your Pokemon reaches a specific level/etc determined by the Pokemon’s species, Temtem instead evolve a certain amount of levels after you catch them. Sounds pretty alright, until you realize that a lot of these level requirements are way too high. Most evolve after like 20 levels, and your starter evolves after 30. This might not be a total issue if the story is much longer than it seems, and the final battles are around lvl 60+, but even then it really makes you want to ditch the unevolved Temtem you caught a while back for its evolved form once you encounter it. Like, you can find Bunbun and Mudrid in the exact same area, so there’s absolutely no point to catching a Bunbun. If they evolved at a set level, you could just catch one, level it up once or twice, and it’ll evolve anyway, since there being others of its evolved form close by usually means it’ll evolve around that level. Instead, if you do that, you’ll have to wait a seriously long time. I’m currently going through this issue with my Mushi. This is even worse for the second reason:
Eternal double battles. For strategic purposes, it’s obviously a major plus. But, even though the difficulty is definitely higher than Pokemon, the battles are still pretty easy, so as long as you switch into the right types you won’t have any issue. That’s not the problem. The problem is that it makes leveling up feel so much slower. Since the EXP from a battle is always split between at least 2 Tems, it’s harder to train up just one of them. It’s worsened because all battles are set battles (where you can’t instantly switch Tems out once the opponent is about to send out another Tem) so that basically means it’ll be split between around 3 Tems each battle, since you’ll be accounting for a new type on the field.
The human names. They’re too out there to be at all memorable. Apart from Max, obviously, I can’t even remember any names because when I first see them I’m just like “I don’t even know what that word is so I’m just not going to bother.” I’m guessing this makes translating names easier, since no name has any obvious tie to some language/region, but it’s still annoying. Mainly because a lot of quests are like “Talk to [character name]” or “Find [character name]” so if you don’t remember the names it makes questing harder to follow. The names of the Tems are kind of in the same boat, but it feels more warranted because they’re weird monsters and not people. Most of them are a pretty normal Pokemon level of naming (Barnshe, Toxolotyl), some even less interesting (Crystle, Mushi).
The roadblocks aren’t any better than Pokemon. It’s still just “You can’t get past here until you get this item.” It’s like the tiniest step above Pokemon, where they just have some dude at an entrance who says “You can’t get past here because [reason],” but effectively it’s exactly the same. It’s even weirder with the Crystal Skates, because they don’t do any sort of slippery puzzle with the Crystal path before you get them, but later you lose the skates and THEN they put in the slippery puzzles in. They really should have just not given you the skates yet and made any reachable secrets a part of a puzzle instead. 
The start of the game needs more variety/balance. Ganki is actually OP, and was my hard carry. But, there are so many Wind and Water types early on it gets kind of boring quick. It’s worse, because Wind resists Wind, meaning you’re constantly dealing with Tems that resist your type. But, sure, I guess the variety isn’t the problem and one of the most prominent types resisting itself is. Ganki does need a decent check though, since Crystal types don’t exactly come around until later.
The clothes are WAY too expensive. I’m the character customizer type. I want to buy out all the shops and make myself look snazzy. I can do that while a fucking early-game bikini costs 9000 Tembucks or whatever they’re called.
Then, here are some stuff I’m kinda neutral/iffy on:
The type chart feeling a little arbitrary. Obviously this one isn’t actually a problem, since they probably just did that to make sure Pokemon had even less of a reason to sue, but like I mentioned before, why does Wind resist Wind? When I imagine two gusts colliding, it turns into a giant tornado that destroys everything. That, or they just flow around each other. Considering it slows down the early game, I really wish it wasn’t that way. Another questionable one is that Wind is strong against Toxic. Maybe it’s just because we use vents to clear out toxic air? Considering most Toxic attacks involve liquid that doesn’t help much. It probably wouldn’t be an issue to someone who hasn’t completely and totally remembered the Pokemon type chart, though.
The “representation.” Yes, they tried, and that’s a step in the right direction, but like... it’s really not quite there yet. Like, in the character creation screen, as we’ve all heard from the #gamerrage you get to choose your pronouns. Sure, good. Then they give you the option of the girl body or the boy body, and the girl voice and the boy voice. Really? Still no ambiguously chubby option? Slightly more rounded faces aren’t enough people. Also, I still actually don’t get why they (as well as other game developers) don’t just put in a bald option. Did they just not model the scalp or something? It’s obvious they did because there was a bald option in the beta/alpha, and they just... removed it? Why? It’s not even a matter of reason, It was already there. But yeah, back to the gender representation bit, fused a bit with the conversations, there’s one specific bit of dialogue that really confused me. When big event happens and one girl tells you to go searching for her wife, sure they’re lesbians whatever, but then it pops up with the dialogue options of “Sure, I’ll go looking for him/her/them” but like, as 3 different choices. What’s the point of that? She literally said it was her “wife,” so I just picked “her,” but what’s the point of having the other options? If the first girl’s response is just like “’Him/Them?’ I did tell you she was my ‘wife,’ right?” It’ll boggle my mind even more. Anyways...
The Temtem designs. It’s more like two extremes balanced out to become neutral. I seriously love some of the designs, and I seriously hate others. From what I’ve seen so far, my favorites are Oree, Platimous, Capyre, Valash, Barnshe, Gyalis, Myx, Mushi, Valiar, Noxolotyl, and Kalabyss. My team at the end of the current story consisted of Mushi and Banapi, who I were still training, Gyalis, Mudrid, Kalabyss, and Gazuma, so I only slightly compromised for the sake of my interests. I actually seriously love Valash, but I already had 2 Crystals on my team, and being Neutral wouldn’t be much of a help. My least favorites, though, are Tateru, Taifu, Houchic, Tental, Babawa, Saku, Magmis, Ukama, and Vulcrane. So many Tems have the classic Pokemon issue of “just getting bigger” as the evolve, and a lot of them evolve for the worse, like Vulcrane and Saku especially. Vulcrane, Houchic, Tental, and Zenoreth (who I still sort of like for its colors) look uncomfortably humanoid, where they have almost too much muscle detail on their arms and legs. Pocus is a better example of a humanoid design, because its legs are much more nubby and arms less detailed. Plus, the former Tems’ designs aren’t quite exaggerated enough proportion wise, making them just feel kinda weird I guess. I don’t really know how to explain that yet. Some other designs I think are good, despite me not being into them as much, are Skail, Saipat, Sparzy, Cerneaf, Volarend, Shuine, Adoroboros, Tuwai, Kinu, Pigepic, and Anahir. Overall, Temtem have some good designs, with a few stinkers strewn about.
The evil team/rival. The evil team, as far as I cared to know, are just evil because they’re evil. They’re not crazy, but they’re fine. I definitely think the term “clan” can only be used in an evil context nowadays, so I guess that’s a good thing. Max is just whatever. I’m extremely tired of the stupid rhetoric Pokemon fans keep throwing around, suggesting the only good rival’s an asshole rival. It’s obviously just not true, and Crema’s obviously just catering to that idea with Max. They really just seem like an asshole for asshole’s sake, so that’s boring. The rival’s level of asshole-ness is completely independent of their quality. Honestly I’m like 2% of the way into wanting to make my own Pokemon region so I’ll be able to test my mettle there once it comes around.
The MMO-ness of the stuff feels really minimal, and sometimes I found it hard to find the NPC I was supposed to be looking for because they were in a crowd of random people. I’m pretty sure more MMO-esque stuff will come later, but now you basically just see other people walking around. I obviously didn’t use the co-op function either, but the fact that it exists is good. I guess a good thing to implement later would be an offline mode, so you can choose not to have all those strangers running around if you so choose.
Then, here are the things I really like:
The breeding system. It’s really just simpler, and that’s a good thing. It was kind of annoying to figure out which Pokemon have the same egg group (before I just used a Ditto, at least), but now it’s just based on type. Plus, you can just buy the right items to get the right stats. I do hope they lower the prices though. 
FreeTem. It makes actual sense that the people who didn’t want Temtem to fight didn’t go full-on Plasma and become terrorists for their cause. Plus, you get money for cheating their obviously cheatable system. It’s a win-win!
The graphics. This is just one of those cases where people who don’t like it say it’s “bad,” even though they’re objectively wrong. The only “badness” about the graphics are the human faces. Everything else actually looks really nice and polished, especially the animations. I actually died when I saw my Mushi scurry behind me. It’s too cute. Too bad Mushook is losing its luster... But, anyway, it is one of those things that’s just a preference. There’s nothing wrong with the quality. In terms of human designs at least, I was going to say that they look to similar, but for the most part the only characters that looked too similar were the random nobody NPCs, and even then they put together the already existing character customization options in pretty decent enough ways. Some tamers even being not at all subtle references to other things was kinda cute too, although it’s not something I at all care for. That just seems like it’s asking to be reposted every other week on the subreddit...
The music kinda grew on me. The generic themes (wild battle/tamer battle) will never not get old, but the specific themes actually are pretty good. I especially like the theme of the Xolot Resevoir, since it kind of gave me Field of Hopes and Dreams/Scarlet Forest vibes. That might be my favorite kind of video game area song, to be honest. It’s the perfect blend of relaxing, mystical, and trance-y.
The gyms. No one, no matter how good you are, can actually get up to that high of a standing just by using one single type. The fact that Tem Dojos are all based on 2 types is great, especially in how their puzzles/appearance are styled. Obviously the slippery puzzle of the Crystal/Toxic dojo kinda took me aback as mentioned, but alone I liked it. The one problem was that 2 of them were with the exact same types, which kinda sucked, since it also used the same kind of puzzle. That’s the thing about good designs, though; you don’t mind as much if they’re re-used.
The CRYSTAL type. Oh my god, I love it so much. I tried to mask it a bit when talking about the Tems because it’s seriously my favorite thing about the game. It’s the perfect replacement for the Rock type, and it makes any Crystal Tem look so damn cool! The only one I don’t like as much, as mentioned, is Zenoreth/Azuroc, but that’s not at all the fault of their Crystal parts. I seriously wanted to create a whole team of Crystal Tems just because of how universally cool they all were. Gyalis and Valash are easily two of my favorite Tems. I also love how they managed to give the type two signature colors at once, with the bright red and seafoam green. Most other types really only use one or many colors for their part of the Tem’s design, but it seems so solidly both a red type and a green type, even if the icon is red. Since I play Pokemon/these types of games for the cool monster designs, having a whole section of the monsters be this cool is a major upside for me. I love it.
I kinda-sorta tried to arrange this list from worst to best, although really most stuff in between is sort of a crap shoot anyway.
Honestly, I don’t feel like a good source for a “should I buy this game?” kind of review, especially since the game basically just came out of Beta. If you’re into what they’re putting down, you might as well get it now. If you’re not sure, there’s no harm in waiting. The game is clearly making enough money to stay afloat, and since they’ve been at it for so long, there’s really no reason for them to stop now. I remember hearing about this game eons ago... Crazy to think I actually played it.
Now the next wave is Kindred Fates. That’s the next logical step in the genre. I hope this decade is the age of Pokemon-alikes, like how the past few years was riddled with BRs. Every game better have a monster collecting portion to it or else. I want to train my guns in CoD. 
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rafespeaks · 4 years
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Pokémon Sword and Shield, From the Eyes of a Veteran (Critique)
I want to preface this by saying I have been playing Pokemon since before I can remember. It has been a staple of my childhood since day one and is an incredibly important franchise to me. I have nothing but love for it, and I wish the franchise success and a long life far into the future. That being said... I have some big issues with this latest generation. Big enough that I’m writing out my thoughts for everyone to see for the first time.
As a note, I am not a competitive player, nor do I think I ever will be. I don’t have the patience or technical mind to focus on all the finite mechanics and breed the statistical ‘very-best’ Pokemon out there. As such, I will not be focusing on those aspects (or at least not nearly as heavily as others might).
Now, let’s begin.
As a starting point, let’s start where Nintendo always does when introducing a new region and generation
The Pokémon
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Every new generation of Pokemon comes with brand-new creatures for everyone to love. However, some generations just have... more than others. The original games had 151 Pokemon total to catch, collect, and love. And from there, more were added. Here’s the count:
Johto: 100 Hoenn: 135 Sinnoh: 107 Unova: 156 Kalos: 72 Alola: 88 Galar: 81
This is not accounting for the new Pokemon introduced in Galar’s DLC, as that has yet to come out, or old Pokemon that were given a Mega Evolution or regional variant. Kalos added 30 Mega Evolutions, plus an additional 20 from ORAS. Alola added 18 regional variants, and Galar added 13 of their own (not counting the DLC Slowpoke) plus 24 Gigantimax forms (25 if you count Flapple & Appletun as separate, and 26 with Melmetal).
Numbers-wise, Galar did... okay. Not great. But okay. It still passed up Kalos, at the very least, which was a huge point of contention among fans when gen 6 came out. However, if I had to sum up my feelings towards the new Pokemon I could do it easily with one phrase: they’re very ‘hit-or-miss’. And while new Pokemon that I don’t care for tend to grow on me over time, there’s just one problem with that. They can’t grow on me if I don’t ever see them.
Don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with old Pokemon being in the new games. In fact that’s something I love! But when you want the players to connect with the new being introduced, you have to give them a chance to do so.
This was the first region in what felt like ages where I went in without a plan of what I wanted on my team. Typically, I go with a simple, easy-to-follow formula. Grass, Fire, and Water take up three slots. Add in a Flying-type, as Water and Flying were highly important for transportation in earlier games. And for coverage, the last two spots go to Electric and Ground or Rock. Anything else, I try to cover for with getting as many dual-types as possible. Simple. Effective. Tried and true.
However, after choosing Scorbunny as my starter, I encountered a problem. There are only two Grass-types to choose from, and neither are particularly good for my strategy. Eldegoss, which I ended up going with, is a pure Grass-type and can ONLY learn Grass-type damaging attacks, unless you want to track down the single Bug-type TR it can learn, or use one of the few compatible Normal-type TMs/TRs.
The second Grass-type is Applin. And while both evolutions have better type coverage, there are still problems. One, Applin on its own is pretty bad. The only moves it knows when caught fresh from the wild are Withdraw and Astonish. While that isn’t too horrible in and of itself, the fact that its evolutionary item can only be obtained near the end of the game makes it a horrible choice. Since I was about to take on Nessa and had no access to this item, I was forced to either choose Eldegoss or something from a previous generation. And since I was trying to use all-new Pokemon, Eldegoss it was. (Though on the upside, I realized it had plenty of potential to be a competitive wall.) Now, if you are intent on getting a Flapple or Appletun, you can persevere and evolve one. Now you have your grass dragon! Great! Except... its level-up moveset is pretty bad to begin with... You will have to dedicate a lot of time to training or hunting down TMs and TRs to make up for this seemingly MASSIVE oversight.
This is just one example, of course. And while coverage isn’t particularly BAD considering all the old Pokemon included, it could be much better.
Continuing on from this topic is another that has had a lot of fans, including me, up in arms.
The Pokédex
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Dexit.
Nearly 900 Pokemon, cut SEVERELY down to 400. It’s unprecedented. It’s unfair to the fans of cut Pokemon, completionists, and old players waiting on transferring all their partners from previous games. Frankly, it sucks. And I think every Pokemon fan can agree, no matter the reason.
While some similar things to this have happened before, it has never been this bad. Unova did it right - the only Pokemon available to the player through the main story of Black and White were the newly introduced ones. After defeating the Elite Four, finishing the game, and the credits are done rolling however, all previous Pokemon were welcome in the region once more. Alola didn’t exclude any older Pokemon, but for the first time in any Pokemon game, we did not get a National ‘Dex. Even so, the Pokemon unavailable natively in Alola were still transferable and usable in the new generation. And while it was a bit disappointing not to get any new entries for some old favorites, it was understandable. Coming up with new world lore is hard work!
Nintendo said that all these Pokemon were cut due to time constraints and limitations with the memory. Unfortunately, these are issues that could be fixed easily, which just... weren’t. Sword and Shield could have gone the same route that Zelda: Breath of the Wild did and simply extended production time. As Shigeru Miyamoto once said, “A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad.” And it shows in Sword and Shield in so many ways.
The memory limitations is, honestly, just a bad lie in my personal opinion. This opinion is only proven to me by the DLC reintroducing over 200 Pokemon from prior games. It’s not that Nintendo couldn’t - it’s that they didn’t give themselves the time. I had hoped for free updates in the future to remedy this, and that’s what’s happening. But not in a good way. (They also cut a plethora of Pokemon moves, which was also heavily disappointing, but the loss there couldn’t be felt nearly as much as over half of the total Pokemon being straight-up unavailable. Every one of those is someone’s favorite!)
Even if the memory WAS an issue, there are so many things that were, ultimately, unnecessary to me that they could have done without. But I’ll get to that in a minute.
Dexit aside, there’s another issue that needs to be addressed with the Pokedex that I’ve touched on already - distribution of Pokemon. There’s just... way too many, way too fast, and not enough of the new Galar Pokemon to go around. I am a Player who takes the famous tagline ‘gotta catch ‘em all’ fairly seriously. As I progress through the game, I am always compelled to search for every Pokemon on a route and catch, at the very least, the basic form of that Pokemon. While I haven’t managed to complete the Pokedex on my own or build a Living ‘Dex yet, those are both major goals I have.
However, shortly after first stepping into the Wild Area, I was overwhelmed. Too many Pokemon were coming my way, with too many variations in weather meaning it would take ages to catch all the Pokemon available to me in a route before moving forward in the story. While the Wild Area is a marvel, fun to explore, and an amazing way to experience Pokemon, it’s all just too much to throw at you in one huge chunk. Plus, there’s one very annoying, very artificial limitation that just feels completely out of place in a game that traditionally has had nothing quite like this. The Pokemon-catching level cap.
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Now, level caps have been talked about among fans of the series, especially those that would like a sort of ‘hard mode’. This is not what they were talking about. Level caps have been used in previous games to prevent a player from transferring or trading overpowered Pokemon to the game and breezing through it as fast as possible. If you don’t have enough badges, the Pokemon will not listen to you, and you’ll be out of luck until you progress. Fans have suggested extending this level cap to all Pokemon, so that potentially even your starter will refuse to listen once it’s too strong. Personally, I wouldn’t enjoy such a change. But that’s why it’s only really suggested for a hard mode.
The way this level cap was implemented, however, was just... bad... I understand why it was done, but it can be put into practice SO much easier with one simple fix - utilizing Routes like previous generations did and closing off the higher-level areas to the player until they have progressed appropriately.
And that brings me to my next talking point.
Routes VS the Wild Area
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Pokemon routes have always been included in every game, from the very beginning. They are the segue between towns, holding new Pokemon for you to battle and catch, the majority of free items to be found across the world, and a good few trainers to pit your team against once you’ve gotten past the first little chunk of story. To put it simply, routes are necessary. Without them, all the different towns would be one huge city, and specifically in Sword and Shield, there would be nowhere but the Wild Area to catch Pokemon.
That being said, the routes throughout Galar are... pretty tiny. I’d even say pitiful. What’s more, it seems that most of them have a short, straight path forward that discourages exploration and bettering yourself through battles with wild Pokemon and trainers. Sure, there’s the occasional arbitrary blockade that will force you to take the long way around, but once that’s done with, there’s nothing else to keep your interest. Glimwood Tangle in particular made me realize how far back they cut the routes. There was so much potential to make a sprawling forest out of it, and they just... didn’t. It was tiny. I wanted more, but they left it lacking in so much.
There’s an easy solution to this - making the Routes into mini Wild Areas. And, to accommodate all these huge routes, CUT BACK THE WILD AREA. Trust me - it needs to be smaller. This fixes the Pokemon distribution, the level cap issues, and the tiny routes all in one fell swoop. Instead of having one massive area with a bunch of sub-areas, have each route be bigger, with two to three sub-areas. The balance will make it much more impressive in the long run.
Speaking of balance, let’s talk about how this affected the pacing of the game. Even when I was taking my time, it felt like I was always rushing, rushing, rushing on to the next town.  Not to mention, there are far too many options in the story to let you skip over backtracking through a route you’ve already been through. I’ve just finished taking on Milo. I blink. I’m standing in the Pokemon center the next town over, prepping for Nessa’s gym. I just defeated Bea. I blink. Now I’m about to take on Opal. The only time I got a little time to breathe was when I had to travel through the Wild Area to get to the next town. And then it was all just so expansive that I... didn’t want to go back to the story. There were items everywhere. There were Pokemon to catch. I wasn’t done here - I had to explore. I had to find everything. Do all I could. Because that’s what you do in a route, right? You explore and find all the goodies to help you on your journey. So what comes after...?
The Towns
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While the towns are gorgeous and each have their own charm, they all feel... almost empty.
Compare to previous games, and it’s obvious to see. Many buildings don’t allow you to go inside and explore. There is a distinct lack of NPCs. And the ‘big’ cities are decidedly small as a result.
Just take a look at Castelia City and Lumiose City. Both are huge, compared to the rest of the locations in the games. They have many buildings, many NPCs to fill them... People needed a map to avoid getting lost in Lumiose! Even in cities that are smaller scale-wise, such as in Alola, they never feel empty. There are plenty of places to go, people to talk to, and things to explore or interact with. You find new things all the time.
Meanwhile in Galar, the only things that seem to give the towns any purpose are the Pokemon gyms. And that is a massive shame. Especially when in prior games, there have been places I will make my way to, just to sit there and take in every little detail of the location, or where I’ll talk to every NPC and soak up all the lore. I go back to murals and statues and unique buildings. I go back to puzzles and the homes of legendary Pokemon. I go back to enjoy the things I’ve seen in a new light and reminisce about my journey. But in Galar... there seems to be very little to reminisce about.
The Story
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This is the biggest disappointment for me. If all the rest of the game were awful, as long as the story is good, I can overlook it. As long as the story is good, I can enjoy any game. 
This story was not good.
As far as Pokemon stories go, they aren’t all complex, nuanced narratives. In the first games, you fight Team Rocket, who are just in it for the money. In Johto, it’s the same thing, with the addition of a rival that has a touching change of heart in the end. Things get a bit bigger in Hoenn, where the world-ending plots officially start in the form of weather crises caused by Team Aqua and Team Magma. In Sinnoh, the entire universe is threatened when Team Galactic aims to remake the world in their image. In Unova, the morals of you and the rest of the Pokemon world are called into question by PETA-- I mean Team Plasma. In Kalos... rich people want to kill the unworthy poor...? Yeah, I didn’t really get that story much either. And in Alola, you deal with alternate dimension aliens running amok. Safe to say things got quite a bit bigger as time went on.
Now we’re in Galar. Something’s going to happen. Something always happens. But when? How?
We get hints about the Darkest Day. Dynamaxing is still very new and not much is known about it. Sonia is looking into the legendary hero(s) that stopped the Darkest Day. But where’s the evil team? What’s their motivation? Where’s the action? The buildup?? Bede mentions he’s collecting Wishing Stars. Why??? We get to Hammerlocke and learn that the Wishing Stars are for the Chairman. But again, why? He mentions a problem has been bothering Rose concerning all Galar, but it’s such a brief moment that it’s easily dismissed. Where’s the action, or the stakes? Nothing has happened yet except we’re being pushed through the gym challenge as fast as possible.
Fourth gym. No sign of any real trouble yet. Except that jerk Bede just vandalized an ancient mural, just because... he wanted to? Yeah, he’s trying to find Wishing Stars, but literally NO ONE told him to make a spectacle of himself and ruin a piece of history in the process. We’re getting more hints about the past and Galar’s history, but nothing solid on what we’re supposed to be doing. Besides the gyms. EVERYTHING is about the gyms... Oh, and apparently Oleana is the one who asked Bede to collect Wishing Stars. Whatever. What does that have to do with anything?
Five gyms in now, and... Ka-BOOM!
FINALLY!!! Some ACTION!!! Something’s happening at the Power Plant, and Sonia’s detecting a Power Spot! Alright, let’s go! I’m finally going to be able to DO something! I’ll finally be able to see what’s going on and--
“You should leave the investigation on the quaking to the adults. Head to Circhester and get that Gym Badge!”
... What... No! No, I refuse! There must be something to see, even if it’s just Sonia, Leon, and the Chairman standing around after things have already been sorted out. I can talk to them and get a little dialogue on what’s going on! Except they aren’t anywhere to be found. No one around the gym, no one by the Power Plant door, nothing.
Sixth gym. More lore. Seventh gym. Heading out towards Raihan and BOOM! Trouble on Route 9! Leon’s here! NPC says I should go help! Heck yes, I will! It’s about time I got some action out here, it’s almost the end of the game!
Run outside, there’s Leon! And... he dismisses you. Again. Says ‘nope, I’ve got this, gym gym gym, see you!’
No way am I taking that laying down. I’m right on his heels - I should at least be able to see him battling or something, right? But no. In the seconds it takes to run after him, Leon has beaten the threat, he’s gone, and now Hop is waving a news article about the debacle in your face, complete with picture! How the hell did all that happen so fast?! It takes time to write something like that up, never mind the time it must have taken to battle the Dynamaxed Pokemon that Leon faced!
The game is almost over, and what little action you could have seen has been blocked from you because you are a child. And I understand, from a moral perspective, that this is what any sane adult would say to a child. But from a story perspective it is a horribly bad writing choice. It gives you a little taste of the story, a tiny hint at what’s going on, and yanks any real explanation away from you until the very end, where you’re floored by everything happening all at once. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Finally, Professor Magnolia mentions that the issue the Chairman is worried about is the future of Galar’s energy. But... why? We have seen no hints of a problem with that throughout the entire game. No mention of shortages. Nothing about global warming or sustainability. It seems there’s exactly zero reason for anyone to worry, much less turn this into a huge issue that needs to be addressed. It’s one thing if a crisis is there and people are ignoring it. It’s another matter entirely if there is no crisis whatsoever to be seen, even if you look for it. And even if there was any sort of issue, Leon once again tells you to do nothing. Nothing at all. 
Eighth gym. On to the Championships. Blah blah, tiny snow route, nothing even remotely close to a Victory Road... In Wyndon now. Still bubcus about an evil team or anything that you can actually DO something about. The Semifinals happen. Leon goes missing.
Suddenly, you’re thrown into a situation you know nothing about to save this miserable dope. And when you get to him... he doesn’t even need any saving! He’s just having a pleasant chat with this jerk! Drag his butt out of there, then the Finals happen. Now you’re gearing up to face Leon himself. Only to be stopped by Rose SUMMONING ARMAGEDDON TO SOLVE A NONEXISTENT ENERGY CRISIS HE SEEMINGLY MADE UP.........
It makes no sense whatsoever. And unlike in Unova, where the interruption to your Elite Four challenge made sense, these TWO interruptions did not. Leon even promised to help Rose after he finished his Championship match against you! Why couldn’t Rose wait a single day? Or even a few hours? ... I digress.
Anyway, Rose awakens Eternatus, who is the source of Dynamax energy. (Necrozma & Totem Pokemon vibes much?) Leon goes up to capture it, just as Rose planned, and gets his butt kicked, not as planned. Meanwhile, the player and Hop made themselves useful for once, went to find the Sword and Shield from legend, and used them to call Zacian and Zamazenta. Together, all four of you defeat Eternatus! Yaaay for yooouuu!!!
...
Oh. And you finally have that Championship battle. Get that win squared away. Finally, but also way too soon, the credits role.
Perhaps I may have been a bit harsh about the story. But with very little to make up for it, I feel justified in everything I’ve said here. But I’m still not done. After all, a story can’t have no one helping the protagonist along. Or hindering them. Severely.
The Characters
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Unfortunately, many of the characters were just as bad as the story. However, for the most part, it doesn’t entirely seem like their fault. There just wasn’t enough time spent on them, or the writers handled them poorly.
Let’s start from the beginning.
Hop
He’s a friendly rival. Okay, I can get behind that. But he’s also very self-absorbed throughout the entire story. Why are you even friends with him? He doesn’t once talk to you about anything other than how he’s going to be the next Champion. He cheers you on occasionally, but it’s always overshadowed by him harping on the same things over and over again - his brother is The Best and he will defeat him to become The New Best.
Many people say Hop is very much like Hau. I say that’s an insult to Hau. Hau is a laid-back free spirit who’s only goal starting out is to have fun with his Pokemon. He supports you and gives you items along the way because that’s just his nature. He’s a true friend. And when things get a bit tougher, he realizes he needs to step up and take things seriously if he wants to protect the ones he cares about. So he does.
In my opinion, Hop is more like Green in his approach to you, except a bit more friendly. In fact... I’d say he’s MOST like the Diamond/Pearl/Platinum rival, Barry. They’re both braggarts, self-absorbed, and constantly, casually putting you down even though you’re clearly better than them. Long story short, Hop is infinitely annoying like Barry is annoying. I was shocked at myself for how eager I was to beat Hop evey time, and how uncaring I was when Bede crushed his spirit. Hop’s mopiness and woe-is-me attitude felt very forced, especially since he was always smiling and still constantly talked about how he was going to beat you and Leon both.
Not to mention how his story ultimately ended... But I’ll get to that a little later.
Leon
For as annoying as Hop is, Leon is ten times worse. I can see where Hop got all those self-absorbed tendencies. He strikes a dumb pose every five seconds, goes on about how great and undefeated he is, constantly basks in the attention of his fans... Not an ounce of humility or humbleness in this man. Not to mention, he pretty much abandoned Sonia during their journey together. I couldn’t wait to ruin his whole career. But if there’s one positive thing I can say about him, it’s that his team is legitimately tough. Mostly that demon Charizard.
Sonia
She’s nice enough, and it’s pretty neat to see her on her journey to becoming a full-fledged Professor. But her progression to that ultimate payoff seems pretty rushed, probably because the rest of the story is rushed. Also, she consults with you about many of the legends she digs up, and the dialogue choices ultimately mean YOU are drawing the conclusions while SHE just agrees with them. By all rights, I should be the Professor in this game! 
Marnie
Honestly, I don’t have a strong reaction about Marnie either way. She just seems a bit subdued, we don’t see her very much, and there’s no real character arc that we get to see her go through. She’s the same as when we first saw her, only now she knows she’s not going to be the Champion, because you are. 
Bede
He’s a little jerk. And honestly? I love little jerks. But only if they’re done right.
Green was a jerk rival that was done right. He didn’t see the error of his ways throughout the entire game. However, come the Johto arc, he is now a gym leader, realizes he was treating his Pokemon poorly, and it’s implied he regrets his harshness towards Red.
Silver was another done right. He was a jerk from the very start, and a thief to boot. He hated you, and Team Rocket, and... all the world really. But as the game progressed, he came to realize that he needed to be kind. And by the end of the game, he has a Crobat. While his abrasive personality is still there, he respects you, and realizes you were right.
Bede, on the other hand, was pushed through the plot. First, he was working his hardest for the sake of the Chairman. Then when he was forsaken, hurt, and lost for a purpose... he wasn’t allowed to find his way himself. Instead, Opal snatched him away and demanded that he become the next Fairy-type gym leader. She even went so far as to force him to change his type preference! What happened to Gothorita and Duosion?! (Don’t get me wrong, I love Opal as a character. She’s probably my favorite out of everyone. But still...)
Bede should have come into his own by his own choice. And since he didn’t, the change seems like it... wasn’t a change at all. He’s still harsh towards you and others, and the respect he says he has for you seems insincere.
Piers
Unlike the rest of the gym leaders, Piers takes a slightly more active role in the plot once the ball FINALLY gets rolling. So I figured I’d talk about him, too. Piers seems... a lot like Nanu. Like A LOT. And that doesn’t really seem to fit with his rocker look or job. He just seems depressed and like he doesn’t want to be here. At least he’s a fairly responsible brother, always making sure Marnie is safe. I never did get past that hair though... Never liked it. But I seem to be in the minority there.
Oleana
She’s just... She seems like a Rose-obsessed Lusamine, instead of Ultra Beast-obsessed. Except her manipulation of children is more subtle. Honestly, I can see her being a formidable villain, and actually a much bigger threat than Rose. If only she was given the opportunity to actually DO more things through the game.
Chairman Rose
Rose is... Well, he doesn’t feel like a villain, if that makes any sense? He’s too placid. Mild. Calm. There’s no anger or any kind of intense emotion. Even when he’s disappointed in Bede, I don’t really... believe it. It’s like he ordered an ice cream and realized it doesn’t come with sprinkles. “Oh. That’s very slightly disappointing. But it’s still ice cream so it doesn’t really matter. It’s fine.” Even if you want to do a villain without strong emotions, there are other ways to do it.
Cyrus, jokingly referred to as having depression by the Pokemon fanbase, is a big example of this. He is very non-expressive, with a flat, almost scary look. He always talks analytically, and philosophically. He even openly scorns emotions. But when he does finally get a bit more heated and unhinged towards the end of the game, it’s a serious business. He feels dangerous.
Rose, on the other hand... doesn’t. He has all this supposed passion for Galar and its future. So much so that he’s willing to risk putting people and Pokemon in imminent danger to fix this energy crisis he seems to have made up... So then where is that passion? Where is his anger and frustration towards Leon? Where is his desperation?
It seems to me that the only energy deficit in Galar is in Rose’s behavior.
We’ve covered a lot now, but still not everything. My main gripes are over, but like every Pokemon game, there’s just a bit more.
The Post-Game
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Now the main plot is over, and you’re free to do as you please all across the region. Train up your Pokemon and catch newly available ones, explore places you didn’t go deeper in during the story, get a little extra tidbit of story sometimes... And to its credit, this game did deliver a decent post-game story to follow.
You saved the region. You met the legendary Pokemon. Now you have the Master Ball and it’s implied you can go off and get your featured legendary doggo. Fantastic! But once you make your way into the Slumbering Weald... these guys show up. Oh, and Hop is there moping. And Sonia shows up too, for some reason.
But these guys... These guys were arrogant little jerks from the beginning. And it makes sense once you learn they’re a part of Galar’s royal family - the descendants of the people who supposedly stopped the Darkest Day from happening and saved the region. Of course, now everyone knows that’s not true, and they’re pissed about what this means for them. Their family isn’t anything special. They aren’t anything special. Their status and positions have been taken away and given to Pokemon! It’s insulting to them! (Though they still have a loyal following.)
So what do they do? Pumping Zacian & Zamazenta full of Dynamax energy and causing them to wreak havoc will absolutely turn the people of Galar against them! And the cost? Eh, they don’t much care. As long as the legendary Pokemon look bad and they’re able to retain their status.
Of course, their plan backfires, and in true benevolent legendary fashion, the one legendary they do manage to overload with power does its absolute best to avoid hurting anyone. It’s a touching little story to go on. And what’s more? It actually makes sense! In fact, I would have greatly preferred this story as the main one focused on, rather than the hot garbage we got with Chairman Rose! My only gripe regarding the new story is how ridiculous these two princes are... Really Gamefreak? Swordward and Shieldbert? And that hair?? Do you have no subtlety anymore?
But as for wrapping up the old story... things still fall a bit flat. After the legendaries are calm again and you have your version’s pup, you go after Hop. And he is accepted by the other legendary in the duo. Considering everything he went through to try and get the sword/shield back just now, as well as his concern for and efforts to calm down the legendary, it’s understandable. He’s proven himself in their eyes. But then... he goes and decides to become Sonia’s assistant and work towards being a professor.
How did that happen? Why did it happen? There was no buildup in the slightest before this decision, and it seems very out of character for someone like Hop. He’s not technically minded. While he takes a mild interest in the legends of his home region (who wouldn’t when they’re that fun?), he doesn’t seem interested in doing any actual research. And now that he actually owns a legendary Pokemon, you would expect him to double down on his rivalry with you or at least aspire to do something more... heroic? Exciting? Why would a legendary Pokemon want to hang around when you’re not going to be utilizing them at all?
This extra little story is over very fast. Not only that, but everything you do pertaining to the story is done without having to struggle through a route or many other additional challenges. (Hey, a lot like the main story. Lack of travel/drawn-out struggle leads to pacing issues.)
Additionally, there are no new places to explore after the main story. Which really, REALLY sucks. Every Pokemon game has had more to see afterwards. Kanto had Cerulean Cave. Johto had an entire additional region, plus Mt Silver. Hoenn had lots of legendary Pokemon homes open up to you, plus the Battle Frontier in Emerald. Sinnoh had the entire Battle Zone. Unova had several towns and routes blocked off. Kalos had it’s own last town as well as a couple places you could go for legendaries, like Mewtwo. And Alola had an entire half of Poni Island. Galar has... nothing... Everywhere you can go in Galar, you will have access to before the Championship battle with Leon is over. And that’s a crying shame. They seem to be trying to remedy this with the DLC coming out, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. I’ll get into that later. First, there still something else I want to talk about...
Dynamaxing and Gigantimaxing
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I get why this exists. I really do. Every single region has something that shakes up the way battles are done. Whether it’s more technical, statistic-based changes or something much more obvious. Hold items, double battles, tag battles, triple and rotation battles, Mega Evolving, Z moves, blah blah blah. We all know about that stuff, right? Each of the newer regions has some gimmick to go along with it. This is the Galar version. But unfortunately... when they implemented this change, they decided to get rid of the much-beloved Mega Evolutions entirely.
Now I could understand why they would do this with Z-moves. Dynamaxing is essentially the same thing, with the addition of more HP and the flashy, massive size of Pokemon to go along with it. Though it is disappointing, it’s not really a net loss.
But Mega Evolutions on the other hand... Those were something special.
Mega Evolution could have, potentially, coexisted with Dynamaxing. All it is is making the Pokemon bigger after all, right? A bigger Mega Evolution is doable.
But then the Gigantimax Pokemon come in... and thing start to make less sense. Basically, they made more Mega Evolutions, but named them something different. Why couldn’t they simply be more Megas? People LOVE Mega Evolution Pokemon! No one would have been mad at this! Except the people who, rightfully, say Charizard gets far too much attention. Three Mega Evolutions is a bit much.
But even then, if you’re so insistent on Gigantimax Pokemon being a separate beast entirely, then there’s STILL a way you can make Mega Evolution work in tandem with the new system.
Simply make Gigantimaxed Pokemon a Dynamaxed form of a Mega Evolution.
Okay, I know that was a mouthful and possible hard to wrap your head around, but imagine with me: You’re in a battle. You Mega Evolve your Pokemon. It’s stronger now. But you’re also in the position where you can Dynamax. You do so, and... instead of getting a bigger Mega, your Pokemon changes form a second time. So for example, let’s say you have a Charizard. Mega Evolve it. It is now a Charizard X/Y. Now Dynamax it. It is now the unholy lava abomination you see when you battle Leon. If you had not Mega Evolved beforehand, then it would have grown into a normal, everyday Charizard, But Bigger. 
This also takes away a completely arbitrary restriction - that not every Pokemon of a species can Gigantimax. I’m sure everyone knows by now, but let’s go over it again.
You have an Alcremie. You raised it from a Milcery, evolved it with your favorite Sweet, into your favorite flavor, whatever. Maybe it’s one of the strongest contributors to your team. But when you Dynamax it, it does nothing but get bigger. Then you see Opal’s Alcremie and wonder - how can I get my baby to do that? Is there a special item it needs to hold, or some other requirement?
Nope. Your Alcremie just isn’t good enough. It will never Gigantimax, because it was never capable of doing so in the first place.
With Mega Evolution, there is no limitation. You simply need to give your Pokemon the matching Mega Stone for its species and it can Mega Evolve, simple as that. you don’t need to find that certain special creature, when you already have a perfectly good teammate you’re attached to.
What’s more, Mega Evolution could be performed any time, anywhere, in any battle. Dynamaxing and Gigantimaxing is extremely limited to the Power Spots. Keeping Mega Evolution in would have lessened the disappointment of not being able to use the new mechanic casually. This was something that was heavily advertised when the game was first released, and to find out it’s so limited... I think it left a bad taste in a lot of fans’ mouths.
The DLC
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Now... on to this... I’ve touched on this before, and I’m sure everyone can tell.
I am not happy.
First, the financial aspect. If you are going to charge $30 for a two-part expansion, make it apply to both game versions. This may not mean much to casual players, since they likely bought only one copy of the game. But to people who bought both, or share the two copies with family, this is a massive slap in the face. You would have to pay double, for the same content, so both versions are updated. That is a low, low blow.
Now, the Pokemon. I’m glad they are introducing new Pokemon (most of which seem to be Galarian forms or new Gigantimax forms), but there seems to be little reason why they held off releasing them in the first place. Legendaries, I understand. Others, not so much. And the over-two-hundred Pokemon that are being reintroduced isn’t something that should get a pat on the back. They’re fixing their own mistake. They shot themselves in the foot and now they’re trying to say “Oh look! We’re improving things! This bloody hole is going to be healed now! How great are we?” The only saving grace to this for me is that the Pokemon being reintroduced will be available to everyone (to transfer or trade over) via the free update mentioned before. And even then, there are still Pokemon missing!
The new areas now. While we have seen snippets by now, there has been nothing really definitive to go on. These new areas will be in the style of the Wild Area - that much has been made clear. But that makes me exceedingly nervous. Will they be empty, devoid of NPCs? What will there be to do? Just how big are these areas? If they are, in fact, exactly like the Wild Area... I am going to be deeply disappointed. Aside from battling/catching wild Pokemon and gathering items, there is very, very little to do in the existing Wild Area. But at the same time, if the area the DLC gives us is too small, everything will feel sparse and rushed, just like the story of the game.
Speaking of story, we aren’t really given anything meaningful about the DLC’s story, either. We were vaguely told that the two separate locations will be focused on the themes of ‘Growth’ and ‘Exploration’, and we were introduced to a small handful of characters that will be central to the story, but that’s about it. You’re training in the Isle of Armor, and you’ve been enlisted to explore the Crown Tundra. That’s all we know. Literally anything could happen. And that, again, makes me very nervous.
Gamefreak have said these DLC are supposed to take the place of the story changes a third game would make. But in this instance, I seriously believe Sword and Shield would have benefited from a second pass. Much like Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon had the “Good Ending” over Sun and Moon, I think a follow-up game could have amended a lot of the issues I’ve laid out. Though I couldn’t say if Gamefreak would have actually committed...
The biggest thing to me here is that... this is not necessary. At all. I feel as though these new locations, as well as the new stories, should have been included from the get-go in the base game. For free. Of course, if the scope of these stories is on par with the main storylines of Pokemon games, I can understand. But if it’s much smaller... I just can’t condone this.
It is a blatant cash grab. One that I can find no excuse for whatsoever. This game, and most everything that has come of it, has been such a dumpster fire that it has drained my love of Pokemon and left me with nothing but anger and a deep, dark disappointment. Gamefreak can do better. Nintendo can do better. I know they can. And I am willing to wait for good content.
They’re just not willing to give their fanbase the time to make that happen.
And speaking of blatant cash grabs...
Pokemon Home 
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Pokemon fans have been wanting a cloud-based Pokemon storage system for years. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. But compared to Pokemon Bank’s YEARLY fee of $4.99, Pokemon Home’s premium fee for the same amount of time is quite shocking at $15.99 a pop. 
So what in the world went wrong here? Why is that price justified? While others have tried to explain it away by listing off all the different features, I say it’s not justified at all. And I’ll detail why below.
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You see these graphs? Both of these contain all the points I need to make. And I’ll explain exactly why.
I’ll start from the top of the list and move down.
Transferring Pokemon is only available if you pay money for it. That means that if you want to get the additional Pokemon returning with the DLC releases, you either have to pay for the DLC or you have to pay for Pokemon Home. While transfer between games used to be free, that changed when Pokemon Bank was released. And while many people were understandably upset, the low price and additional storage space that Bank provided was enough for me to accept the change. Pokemon Home, on the other hand, doesn’t deliver enough for its price. It doubles the storage capacity Pokemon Bank had, and it introduces Room Trades. Which, honestly... don’t sound very appealing.
The number of Pokemon that can be deposited for free is... thirty. A single measly box worth. This may be enough for some people, but this, plus the box space in a copy of Sword/Shield, is not even enough to make a Living ‘Dex (if you want to include every different form of Pokemon. Otherwise it’s just barely enough). Not that you could make a Living ‘Dex anyway, with so many Pokemon still cut out. But back to the box capacity. For transferring only, this number might have been okay. But for storage purposes, this is only half a percent of the 6,000 potential Pokemon you could store if you paid up. Not even 1%. It’s 0.5%. It’s outrageous.
Wonder Trades, GTS trades, and Room Trades I’ll do together. For these features, I have little problem with the way they’re set up. The additional slots for trading are actually useful, and it makes sense to put them behind a paywall. This, I would be willing to pay for. Just not pay so much. Especially when this feature was taken out of the base game in the first place. Since the GTS was first introduced in Gen 4 (Sinnoh), it has been a staple of the game and a vital tool for completing the Pokedex, especially if you have no one to trade with in person. Many people were surprised and upset to find that the only trading function left in the base Sword & Shield games was the Surprise Trade, which is essentially Wonder Trade with a new name. However, while it is a little reassuring to have these features free to use, there is still a major limitation. It can only be done on the mobile phone version of Home.
This is something that has never existed before. You have never needed any device other than your gaming console. And to not have trades available in the Switch version as well is completely absurd. How do they expect children to use this? While tablets and smartphones have become more and more common, I doubt the vast majority of children have a device that is purely their own. They will have to nag their parents to download the app, and then further pester them each time they want to trade. Why not have that a part of the Switch version in the first place? It would be much more streamlined. I understand the practicality of having a Home app - I really do. It makes moving from Go to Home easier, I’m sure, and you now have added mobile usage when your Switch is out of range of an internet connection. But blocking features from the Switch makes no sense whatsoever.
Continuing on to the Judge function. Again, this was a feature that was removed from the main game. Not only that, but this time it is locked completely behind the paywall. When this feature came out just last generation, many competitive breeders were ecstatic. They no longer had to jump through hoops to determine that there was a Perfect IV baby in the hundreds, sometimes thousands of eggs they just hatched - they could see it right on the screen. And as a casual player, it was cool to see how many breedjects I ended up with. But it seems Gamefreak gave us a taste of a very good thing, then yanked it away, like candy from a baby.
On to the second chart. I already talked about the trading limitations, so I’ll skip over that. And it makes sense that moving Pokemon from the Switch games would be Switch Home exclusive, in addition to receiving Battle Points. There is nothing on your phone that can make use of BP. However, there are more phone restrictions that make no sense. Why can’t you receive Mystery Gifts or check Battle Data/News on the Switch? It’s certainly capable of it. Mystery Gifts in particular are another frustrating problem on par with the trading issue. The other two features I wouldn’t mind being mobile exclusive.
All in all, Pokemon Home is another hot mess for Gamefreak and Nintendo.
Conclusion
I know I’ve been rough on this new generation. Arceus knows I was pretty brutal, especially where the story was concerned. But that’s only because I know they can do better. Up until this point, we’ve been given some games that were downright masterpieces. I am highly disappointed in the creators, and I hope with all my heart they listen to their fans and do better going forward. Even if that means we have to wait a little longer.
What’s more, I seriously hope they don’t continue to financially extort their market. Charging this much for something so rushed and poorly executed is an insult. And if it continues... I’m afraid of where the Pokemon franchise may be headed.
That’s all. I’m sorry if I stepped on some toes here, but these are all my honest opinions. I hope that some of these things have validated others’ feelings, too, and perhaps that people look at some of these issues in a new light.
PS, I’m sorry for any abrupt tonal shift that might be seen between the “Characters” and “Post-Game” sections. I had to stop writing to go to bed, but then I didn’t get around to finishing until nearly a month later.
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luvknow · 4 years
Text
in another lifetime | kim woojin
genre: ceo/iron man!kim woojin x secretary!reader | ceo au ; superhero au ; alcohol mention ; blood mention summary: you and your boss were inseparable. no one could understand how you could work ungodly hours for such an inexperienced ceo. but your job was to stick by mr. kim for as long as you were getting paid, and that meant being his date to charity balls and helping him turn into the country’s best superhero. wc: 18.9k
Secretary was your title, but you liked to think you were more than just that. Perhaps secretary was just an umbrella term for amateur sommelier slash novice multitasker slash the only employee who knew how to drive stick. Whatever your job entailed, you were sure to list all of those tasks in your updated resume when it was time to pass the torch onto some other poor sucker because you would much rather die than be a secretary for life.
It wasn’t like your boss was a total ass, or anything. That was actually the scary part - the fact that your boss was one of the kindest and most attentive people you’ve ever worked for, yet you still hated this job! What made this so horrid was the amount of walking and running your poor feet had to do. And guess what? No sneakers were allowed in the office, so you were left with walking over forty-thousand steps in a day in toe-pinching sole-aching glossy shoes that were half a size too big for your feet because shoes like these always ran out in your size in the store.
“Good morning, Mr. Kim,” you greeted, walking into his private office at 8:00 am on the dot as normal. With tired eyes, he looked up from his stack of blueprints and gave you a warm smile. You don’t know how he does it, but he always managed to welcome your morning visits with a smile that almost made you consider your resignation. “Iced americano, extra shot.”
“You are a blessing,” he praised graciously. One sip of the liquid gold was enough to wake him up right away.
“Long night?”
“Yeah. You know how it took us hours to decide the wall colors for each floor in our building? Imagine doing that all over again, but for a superhero suit prototype.”
“But it’s just a suit this time, not fifty floors.”
“This isn’t just a suit, _____. It’s the suit of a man who’s going to save the world one day! A suit that everyone will lay their eyes on and judge me for my color choices.”
“You sound like a child.”
“An ambitious child, mind you.”
“Did you ultimately decide on a color?”
“Yes, two colors actually. Red and gold.”
“Wow, such a loud and loyal color choice.”
“Is it?” Your handsome boss pouted slightly while scanning his designs. “Seungmin said the same thing. Maybe I should change it -”
“No!” you interrupted for the sake of not wanting to look up Pantone’s thousands of shades of ruby and champagne. “Red and gold are perfect for you.”
Woojin’s pouty lips melted into a proud smile. “If you believe so, then I trust you. Come take a look - what do you think of it overall?”
You walked around his ginormous custom-made walnut desk to peer over his shoulder. Woojin could smell the familiar gardenia scent you wore for years and it immediately brought comfort to his panicking soul. Somehow your presence always calmed him down, no matter what stressful situation he was in. Maybe that’s why he wanted to have you around 24/7. How selfish of him.
Your couple minutes of silence were so agonizing that his nervous foot-tapping habit he told you about that he thought he got rid of in college broke through, which was your cue to answer.
“I like it. I like it a lot, actually,” you admitted honestly. “I would definitely feel safe if I saw you come to my rescue, although the helmet is a little concerning.”
“Concerning how?”
“Well, it has such a… A, uh… How do I put this politely? A dead expression?”
“‘Dead’ is a polite adjective to you?”
“I mean come on, Mr. Kim, there are two eyes and a flat line for the mouth where the corners curve downwards just slightly and it looks like you gave him little fangs. There’s not much life in the eyes, either.” 
“They light up when the suit is on!”
“Maybe I’ll like it more when I see it in person?”
“The helmet is the only thing I’m confident about, so nothing and no one can change my mind,” he said stubbornly.
“I’m sure everyone will love it,” you reassured while smoothing out the stress wrinkles on his indigo shoulder pads. “When do you plan on starting the build?”
“In half an hour.”
“What!?” Woojin nearly spit out his espresso at your yelping and the frantic way you sifted through your massive planner and scrolling through your emails on your phone at the same time. Oh, so that’s what he forgot to tell you! He knew something felt off. “B-B-But I didn’t get an email that the shipment arrived!”
“I called the company at five in the morning just as they opened and demanded an expedited shipping of all the materials and they’ll be arriving in half an hour.”
“But did the quality department approve of the materials? Or your design at least?”
“You do know I’m the CEO, right?” Woojin smirked teasingly. “That’s business talk for ‘fuck Quality’.”
Woojin stood up from his black velvet Chesterfield chair to escape your nagging and briskly walked away towards God-knows-where. Like an obedient, push-over puppy, you trailed closely behind with a light jog and all you could think about was how it was too early for your feet to be aching this badly.
“I don’t like the idea of this,” you said firmly.
“You never do. Loosen up a little, will ya?”
“I will not! I looked the other way when you decided on signing a contract to collaborate with that ugly luxury car brand, I agreed with the proposal of a new smartphone that totally flopped in the end, and I barely allowed the approval for the development of the new branch in Taiwan! All of those ideas are whatever, arbitrary even, but this? This puts you at the front line of danger, Mr. Kim! What if something goes wrong, or the material is compromised? What if these companies take you for a fool for not checking in with the quality department first? What if you’re setting yourself up to be sabotaged, huh?”
Woojin pressed the down button on the elevator, ignoring your pleas. Even though all you do is nag and play by the rules, he knew you were only doing so because he didn’t bother to. In the end, you were just looking out for him, and he couldn’t appreciate you more.
His gives you what he thought was a reassuring smile. To you, it looked rather mischievous “Lucky for me that you’ll be there the whole time, right?”’
“What do you mean…?”
“I mean you’ll watch the entire suit being built while you work. Then you’ll see how safe it is. I need someone to double check me, anyways.”
“Mr. Kim, I don’t think I’m qualified for that.”
“Don’t be silly, of course you are!”
Your engineering experience went as far as Physics I and II classes with a teaspoon’s worth in basic circuitry, so if Woojin thought that qualified you to double check his work, then you might have to question his PhD degree.
The elevator welcomed you both into its vacant container. The lowest level this elevator could reach with a single button was the basement, but if the right person (or the wrong person) were to dial the buttons in the order of 4-4-1-9, they would be taken nine floors below the basement to the rumored ‘Super Office’ (ten was too much because Woojin didn’t like the feel of the heavy pressure and eight was such a silly number).
The steel doors opened right into his Super Office which he designed to be five times larger than his executive office so he had plenty of room for building up new car designs and bringing his super suits to life for both him and his partners. His successful designs that were once worn but are now retired were placed on mannequins and stored inside a tall glass box on display for him to admire.
You walked up to your favorite one, eyes sparkled adoringly at Seungmin’s first Spider-Man suit.
“You always loved the red and blue,” Woojin noted behind you. “Still not a fan of the black one?”
“The black one is scary! No one wants a hero dressed in all black, like that color does not exude the feeling of safe.”
“Duly noted for his next suit.”
Beside Seungmin’s old spidey suit was an empty display case you assumed was meant for this final draft of Woojin’s Iron Man suit. Surrounding the two glass cases were dozens and dozens of wood and plastic demos that didn’t work out in the end, but Woojin didn’t have the heart to take them to the dumpster.
“Looks like the shipment arrived early!” Your mature but easy-going boss jogged up to the piles of wooden crates and packages that were laid out neatly in the center of his work space. Without much patience, he took off his indigo suit jacket, tossed it to the side like it wasn’t worth two thousand dollars (to which you caught before it hit the ground), and took the crowbar on top of the pile to open the cases with ease. Sheets of metals, different tools, and a cool welding and soldering set scattered along the concrete floor. Woojin gave you an excited grin that mimicked a child upon opening gifts on Christmas. “Let the building commence!”
There wasn’t room for any argument, so you took a seat at his desk where he normally would sketch the designs and worked off of his desktop with a heavy feeling of defeat. At least watching the process would be cool, right?
Maybe cool wasn’t the right word. Or watching.
For the next three months, from sunrise to sunset, you spent your day nine floors below the surface for almost twelve hours a day being his little helper. From holding pieces of metal in place while he flame torched them together to feeding him take out because his hands were covered in oil, you did it all and God, if Woojin didn’t give you a raise or at least some meal tickets to the executive cafeteria, you might just quit on the spot.
“Done.” With a heavy and exhausted sigh, Woojin clapped his hands together and marveled at his nearly-finished product. “We’re done!!”
“What about the red and gold paint?”
“I can’t work on this anymore or I’ll implode. I’ll just take this to my car guy and he’ll paint it exactly how I want it.”
“Not really a self-made suit then, is it?” you dared to challenge your boss.
He pointed an accusing finger at you. “Shut your mouth and give me my food.”
You handed a slouching Woojin his box of take-out and wooden chopsticks. While you had a perfectly comfortable ottoman he could have sat on right next to you, he remained on the cold concrete, probably too sore and worn out to even stand up, let alone walk to a cushioned seat. Woojin was a man with personality and many faces, but his face of satisfactory upon completing projects was when he was the most handsome. For a while, you two just sat in silence, taking in every detail of the flawless silver suit while slurping noodles. 
“So,” Woojin began nervously. “What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful, Mr. Kim,” you say immediately.
“You mean it?”
For someone so intelligent and talented, it was a wonder how a man like him could be insecure about any of his creations.
“Absolutely,” you reassured. “Flawless. Is it fully programmed and everything?”
“Yup. I installed the software and artificial intelligence last week.”
“Sounds like the only thing you need to do is take it out for a spin.”
Woojin hummed with approval. “... Can you do it for me?”
“What!? No!”
“I really don’t want to do it…”
“With all due respect, please suck it up.”
“Isn’t it reasons like this why I hired you?”
“I was hired to be your secretary, not your lab rat.”
“To be fair, the job description was pretty vague.”
“Yeah, I definitely did not expect to be helping you construct a modern Knight in Shining Armor cosplay.” After wiping your mouth clean of all MSG and soy sauce, you tossed your dirty napkin in the trash bin that was a considerable distance away.
Woojin followed suit, who was also able to get his napkin in the can. Then you tossed another napkin, and then him, and this went on until you were left to toss your boxes and chopsticks. The real challenge was tossing the plastic wraps of the fortune cookies.
“Whoever loses has to do whatever the other says,” Woojin proposed.
Without hesitation, you nodded in agreement. “Fine, but I will not test that thing out if I lose.”
“Deal. Secretaries first.”
You did your best to crumple up and squish out any air that was left in the wrapped before whipping it like you were throwing the first pitch. The wrapper hit the rim of the can and fell to the side. But that’s ok, because there was no way your boss could even come close to -
“WOO!” Woojin cheered, getting up from the floor while you were left slumped in the chair filled with defeat. Of course, whatever he wanted, he would get his way. “Man, I am super lucky today.”
“What the hell! Did you wrap it around a stone or something!?”
“Darling, I would never cheat ~”
“There’s no use in arguing. Just lay the consequences on me, boss.”
Woojin scooted the ottoman closer - almost a little too close. Then, like a handsome little goldendoodle with his swooshy caramel hair and sparkling eyes, he gazed up at you pleadingly before offering you your punishment.
Fear and flattery tickled your spine. “Spit it out.”
A grin followed. “You will accompany me to the ball next week.”
“The Children’s Charity Ball? The biggest charity ball of the century? The one where all the white-haired big shots attend with their dates who just barely turned eighteen?”
“The very same.”
“And you want me to be your date.”
“Yes.”
“Seems a bit lazy, doesn’t it?”
“Lazy how!?”
Not wanting him to see you blush, you began cleaning up the mess from the takeout. “Lazy as in why not find a real date? You know, someone you’ll have a good time with.”
“Hey, I always have a good time with you! And I’m doing you a favor if you think about it. If I wanted to bring anyone else, that would mean you’d have to flip through all of my contacts and have you choose the perfect date for me. So unless you want the extra overtime, I’ll expect to see you dressed to the nines?”
“Don’t you want to bring someone more suited for this role? Someone with much more finesse and elegance?” you said as you twirled dirty napkins in the air.
“If I’m being honest, I do not have the time nor do I want to put in the effort into bringing someone so bland.”
“Who says they’re bland? What if I pick out one of your supermodel friends or like a professor, or something?”
“All my supermodel friends like to toke up in bathrooms and what’s a professor going to do? Lecture me to death? _____, please, I am begging you - be my date? You know you and I are going to have a blast, I promise you. We always do when we’re together.”
A moment of silence passed while you shuddered in disgust. You couldn’t believe you were going to say this, but…  “So what should I wear?”
“Yes! That’s the spirit! Wear anything besides velvet because that’s my fabric of choice.”
“Can you at least do the picking for me? We should at least match in the slightest.”
Woojin let out an exaggerated sigh. “Oh, fine, I’ll do all the work.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, Mr. Kim.”
“It’s what I do best.”
After cleaning up the mess and a last quick polish on the Iron suit, the two of you took the elevator to the level below the basement where Woojin parked his favorite fancy shmancy foreign sports car you couldn’t pronounce. In its shiny and spotless all-white glory sat his coup in his executive parking spot where no other car or person was in sight.
“Quite showy for you, isn’t it?” you accused your normally toned-down boss.
“I had a hunch that today was going to be the day we finished, and low and behold, we did. Soojung the Spyder always brings me good luck,” he patted and praised his prized roadster.
The distance from the office to your apartment was a solid forty-five minutes away by public transportation, right on the edge of being not TOO far, but not close enough, but by car it was only twenty-five minutes. During your first couple of years with the company, you enjoyed the lonely rides and getting lost with your thoughts, but there were moments you got so lost that you missed your stop a couple too many times and sometimes the winter made waiting outside so unbearable. It wasn’t until you started to clock in tons of overtime that Woojin was nice enough to drive you home from then on.
--
“C’mon, _____, just get in the car,” Woojin begged for the twelfth time, holding the passenger door open with one hand and an umbrella with the other. He parked his car illegally right in front of the bus stop that so many other employees used. Why did it matter that you were using it while it was thunderstorming and past 10:00 PM? “The heat is escaping the longer we argue.”
“It’s fine! I don’t live too far away,” you lied. “Please go home, Mr. Kim, your puppy must be worried sick.”
“Hazelnut can wait, but I can’t. As your boss, I order you to get in my car!” Though the statement was serious with his booming voice, his pouty lips made it much less intimidating.
“With all due respect, I have clocked out for the day and I don’t have to listen to you until 7:00 am tomorrow.”
“I can’t believe you’re making me break the law.”
“What do you mean?”
The blinding lights of the bus flashed irregularly, a polite way of telling Woojin to get the fuck out of the way. But he didn’t move in the slightest. He patiently waited for you by the passenger door, not moving a muscle and looking like a car model dressed in his long, warm and tan pea coat.
“Mr. Kim, get out of the way!”
“Not until you’re in my car,” he shook his head stubbornly. “The bus is getting closer ~”
Your anxiousness hiked up exponentially when the driver held the horn long and loudly, not looking like they had much patience in them and indicating that they were very, very annoyed. For the sake of not inconveniencing the butt-load of passengers and the driver and securing your job, you hurried into his car, cursing up a storm that rivaled the one outside. A triumphant and smirking Woojin followed suit and sped away at a dangerous speed, perhaps breaking a second law that night. For those twenty-five minutes (or maybe it was fifteen with Woojin’s driving), the car was silent because your reckless boss focused on cutting every civilian off on the highway and you were too busy covering your eyes in fear.
--
“You were so dramatic back then,” Woojin snickered at the seemingly-harmless memory.
“Me!? You were the one who parked in front of a bus stop and begged me to get in!”
“You were the one who wouldn’t get in the damn car!”
“How does it look to on-lookers that a secretary is getting into her boss’s car!?”
“It’s not like anyone knows our relationship.”
“Oh please, someone like you driving a beautiful shiny car picking up sad ol’ me at the bus stop - of course on-lookers may not know me and my relationship to you, but they definitely know who you are at the very least.”
“I could not give more than zero fucks of what people think.”
“Yes, that much is clear.”
“_____, you can’t always worry about what everyone thinks ~”
You sighed loudly, as if you’d explained this to him a thousand times already. “Worrying is the basis to my entire title, Mr. Kim.”
“And will you drop the ‘Mr. Kim’ once and for all? We’re the same age!”
“Same age, but different titles and a massive pay gap. You and I are not equals.”
Woojin reached over to mess up your hair. “You’re so formal, it’s so cute!”
“Ah, stop it! You’re swerving!!”
Woojin had dropped you off and walked you up to your apartment more times than you can count, but you don’t think you’ll ever get over the embarrassment of your humble abode. Of course you’ve visited his mansion just as many times, since you participated in the designing of it, and him having to see such a sad home in comparison is, well, terrifying each and every time.
“Ok, bye,” you dismissed quickly.
A handsome laugh escaped your handsome boss’s lips. “Still hate having me so close to your home? You know, it’s quite rude you’ve never invited me in and yet you’ve been in mine hundreds of times!”
“My home doesn’t have marble statues or glass refrigerators and I can’t hire you to redesign the interior.”
“You know I don’t care about that stuff!”
“But I do!”
He pouted slightly once more. “What a shame. I thought we were friends.”
“We are, but friends don’t break sensitive boundaries.”
He passively waved you off. “Fine, fine. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Bright and early.”
“Excellent. I have one request.”
It was your turn to pout. What could he possibly want this time? “Already? At least let me sleep peacefully.”
“It’s nothing complicated, I promise! In fact, it’ll save you thirty minutes. Don’t bring me my coffee tomorrow.”
“Don’t? Are you on a caffeine cleanse again? You know how badly that went last time - you barely lasted two days and you fired someone, to which I had to convince you for forty minutes to hire them back.”
“No, not a cleanse. Just come in a bit earlier. Let’s get coffee together.”
“Do you have time for that?” Knowing how packed Woojin’s schedule was in the mornings, you wondered his sanity for making time just so the two of you could grab a cup.
“I’ll make time. Actually, you’ll make time. Can you pencil us in for some coffee?”
“U-Uh, yeah!” With nervous and shaky hands, you pulled out your work phone and squeezed in half an hour of coffee time. “Done.”
“Perfect. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Don’t be reckless driving home.”
“No promises.”
Before going into your apartment complex, you watched Woojin wave goodbye before blasting music with a deep bass and speeding off, leaving a smokey trail from burning rubber.
“I hate him,” you smiled to yourself.
--
“I hate him,” you said to yourself upon walking into Woojin’s office.
Like an artificially intelligent robot that didn’t know of its purpose, Woojin dressed in his Iron suit walked around his office doing regular office things, like dusting the blinds and tidying up loose papers on his desk. It was a little difficult to do smaller tasks with his stiff and massive iron hands, so you’re not entirely sure what your boss was doing.
“G’morning!” he greeted cheerfully. “Just taking this baby out on a test drive.”
You had just noticed the paint job was completed on the suit which meant that it was good to go. However, you didn’t think this was the ideal way to ‘test drive’ a superhero suit. 
“Good morning, Mr. Kim. Is this really the right way to test drive?”
“I got too excited when my car guy told me it was done. He did it so quickly and precisely, too. Look, he even engraved it with my signature! She’s a beauty, isn’t she?”
“Yes, very shiny. The gold and red are much prettier than I imagined.”
“Right!? Not too Gryffindor-y, is it?”
“Not at all,” you said sincerely. “Do you want to get coffee now? We should hurry, you have a conference call at 8:00.”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Woojin followed you to the door with a trail of heavy iron steps. You turned around quickly and gave him an incredulous look, one he’s seen much too often. “I don’t want coffee anymore.”
“Why not!?”
“I’m not going out in public with you wearing that thing! You look ridiculous!”
“That’s so rude of you to say about my pride and joy! This also took me thirty minutes to put on!”
“Mr. Kim, we’re just getting coffee!”
“You are not fun at all.”
It took only five minutes to get your boss stumbling out of the suit because the button for the release was hidden under a metal panel on his wrist, but at least it was painless.
“I thought you didn’t want to reveal Iron Man until you tested it and got your seal of approval?” you asked the child-like man.
“That’s still the plan, but I’m just so excited! I think we should test it tonight.”
“Tonight? Already?”
“Yup, and I need you here with me in case I die, or something.”
“And to think I was gonna relax and take a bubble bath tonight.”
“It won’t take long, I promise.”
“I’ll believe it when I drop my bath bomb in my tub.”
In your whole time working here, you’ve spent more time together with Woojin at both the office and at his home than working alone. The ratio was about seventy-five percent at the office, fifteen percent at his home, and ten percent miscellaneous, like going to business lunches or simple walks to the coffee shop like today. The long work hours were brutal on your feet and your social life, but the money was way too good to pass. You swore you broke the world record for ‘quickest payment of student debt’ with your hard work.
To anyone else, your job sounded so unappealing that no amount of money could ever convince them to do what you’re doing. ‘So brave’, they tell you, but it’s not that you’re brave, it’s that you’re loyal and as much as you hate to say it, you had the best boss. Yes, he’s a little goofy and yes, maybe a bit naive because he’s so young, but he treated you like you’re his equal and not someone so beneath him who takes all of his notes and takes his laundry to be dry cleaned. Plus when he compensated for your time so handsomely, how could you hate your job? Every day was new and exciting when you were with Woojin.
The day went along as normal, from conference calls to lunch and finishing the day with an interview with the press. The very second everyone clocked out at 5:00 pm, you followed a speedy boss to wherever he led you.
“Are we going to test it out now?”
“No, silly, it’s still too bright out! We have to test it once the sun sets.”
You knew that sounded too good to be true. You held a light jog in order to keep up with him. “Where are we going then?”
He turned and gave you a suspicious grin. “Shopping!”
“For what!?”
“You and I need matching outfits for the charity ball, remember?”
“You know, I was just kidding when I said that… We don’t have to match…” The last thing you want is for someone to mistake you as your boss’s date instead of his secretary, but to be fair you don’t know many guests going that bring anyone that isn’t a date, so you kind of shot yourself in the foot when you didn’t make that shot into the trash bin.
“We are matching and I am not arguing with you.”
A defeated sigh escaped your lips before entering the backseat of Woojin’s car where his driver would take us anywhere he pleased. He told him a cross section that sounded familiar, but not enough for you to guess where you’re going, so from here on out until you were home taking a hot bath, the rest of today would be a surprise. 
The car stopped in front of a glossy black DIOR building. You expected nothing less from Woojin.
“You would pick Dior,” you scoffed, completely amazed at how someone so rich could have so much brand loyalty to one company.
“Hey, they are consistent and beautifully crafted, don’t judge me.”
“Mr. Kim and Lovely _____!” An older, graceful lady came running to greet both of you with a warm smile dressed in a hot red shade of lipstick. You recognized her voice to be the owner from all the times you called to ask about any pieces Woojin could reserve before they hit the runway and were snatched up by the ‘I Have Daddy’s Credit Card and Inheritance’ private-school boys. This was your first time seeing her in person and her calming voice matched her mature appearance perfectly. “This piece has been waiting for you ~”
“I can’t wait, Auntie,” he smiled back graciously like an obedient nephew rewarded with cookies.
She led the two of you to the very back where the private dressing and tailoring area was, where the mirrors went from the floor to the ceiling. The store owner walked in with Woojin’s fabric of choice, a velvet jacket with crisp black pants and a white button-up that had the slightest sheen of silver from metallic strands woven into the shirt fabric. In the shadows, one would think the velvet was black, but in the light or at certain angles, there was the slightest sheen to it that showed the darkest shades of indigo and green, like an oil slick. You couldn’t believe the amount of detail in the velvet that your eyes looked like they were popping out of your sockets.
Your boss was so eager to try it on that he was taking off his pants before you were warned. Quickly you turned around and shut your eyes, pretending that you didn’t see his KakaoTalk-patterned boxer briefs.
“M-M-Mr. Kim! At least warn me if you’re going to strip!!”
“Sorry ~” he apologized unapologetically.
A couple of zips and rustling of fabrics later, Woojin tapped your shoulder to turn around. Your eyes bulged out of their sockets again while looking at your boss dressed in a suit that was clearly made for him and him only. It didn’t look like any tailoring was needed at all! He looked like he walked right off the runway. There had to be some enchantment spell in the fabric because you swear you’ve never seen any man more handsome before this moment.
“I take it you like it?” Woojin teased.
Your cheeks tickled with red when he caught you staring. “You look amazing as usual, Mr. Kim.”
“You think so?” You knew so. “It’s not too flashy, is it?”
“Not at all. I think you have the perfect amount of flash. How does it feel?”
“Like a glove. It’s already perfectly tailored!”
“I know your measurements by heart, my dear,” Auntie bragged. “Of course I had it ready to go already.”
“You’re the best.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug. “What would I be without you?”
“Not GQ’s best dressed man under thirty, that’s for sure.”
“Could you do me another favor? Do you perhaps have something for _____ to match? We have a charity ball next weekend.”
“Mr. Kim, this is really unnecessary -”
“I know exactly what to pull.”
Before you could object, Auntie ran to the back of the store where all the hidden inventory was held. You glared at your cheeky boss, still dressed in his sexy outfit and it was hard to keep your glare when he looked so damn good, that handsome bastard.
“I’m not wearing whatever she brings out.”
“You will and you’ll look great and we will buy it, so don’t embarrass me.”
“Embarrass you!? I am not your doll!”
“I’ve got it!”
Both you and Woojin whipped your heads to see Auntie running in with a blacker than black satin and silky outfit that was simple but elegant. Nervous goosebumps spread through your arms and straight to your wallet. You already knew this was going to be the most expensive outfit you’ve ever worn.
“It’s beautiful,” you gasped so slightly.
“Try it on!”
Woojin followed Auntie out of the dressing room but not before shooting you a triumphant wink. I mean, who were you to deny your boss and the store owner, right? So with ease, you put on the cooling fabric that clung to your body in all the right spots. The mirror did all justice and perhaps it was a magical mirror that Dior spent millions on to convince their customers to buy everything because damn, you look hot! With your face as red as Woojin’s Corvette, you presented the outfit to the two judges.
“Oh, it fits perfectly!” Auntie gushed with wide eyes.
Woojin stayed silent with his mouth ajar and eyes scanning you up and down like you were a precious gem discovered in a deep cave beyond a waterfall. It was hard to differentiate between feeling flattered and feeling like object, but at least you were a desired object, right?
“You look amazing,” Woojin admitted sincerely, no longer looking at you with awe and rather content.
“Really? I look ok?”
His handsome smile shined brightly at you. Whether you were dressed in your formal work clothes that screamed ‘absolute virgin’ or you were head-to-toe in Dior, you were never just ‘ok’. You always had the attention of everyone in the room once you walked in, especially his. You were always stunning, no matter what. Validation from your boss always came easy and calmed you quickly because he only had eyes for you.
“You look just fine,” he lied, because ‘fine’ didn’t come close to how you looked to him.
“We’ll be the best dressed at the ball, huh?”
“Absolutely.”
The car ride home was quiet other than the trot music playing on the radio from the driver’s playlist. Woojin seemed as cool as a cucumber, but you were at the edge of your seat feeling a bit awkward and ugh, unintentionally sweaty. Compliments from any man was one thing, but coming from your boss? A whole different level of weird, especially if they weren’t work related! What did ‘you look just fine’ even mean!? Was that a good thing? Were you too average-looking? Whatever it was, from now until you fall asleep at ungodly hours, those words were going to circulate your thoughts, perhaps haunt you for days.
At exactly 7:03 pm, just as the sun set below the horizon revealing the indigo night sky, the driver pulled up to the back entrance of the building that led to a secret elevator that would take you straight to the underground office after punching in the code. A giggling and grinning Woojin was the first to hop out of the car and ran towards the door.
“Mr. Kim, hold on!” you whined as you struggled to get out of the tall car.
“Hurry up, _____! Now’s the perfect time to earn that OT!”
“This time-and-a-half pay better be worth it…”
Upon entering the elevator, you were ready to punch in the 4419 code, but Woojin had already pressed the button to the top level, which led to the roof slash helipad.
“Why are we going up?”
“We can’t test the suit inside, silly. Seungmin came by earlier to pick up his suit after I recalibrated it last night and I asked him to take the suit to the roof.”
“How, that thing weighs like a ton!”
“Not when you’re wearing it.”
“You let him wear it before you test drove it!? Mr. Kim, that’s extremely reckless!”
“Relax, I trusted he wouldn’t mess anything up, and look! It’s right there!”
The glass elevator made a slow stop to reveal the red and gold suit standing proudly in the center of the helipad. As soon as the doors panned open, Woojin handed you his suitcase before running out and tossing his blazer onto the floor before hastily stepping into the suit.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” he said, running back to your frazzled state. He took the leather suitcase from your hands and popped it open so he could give you a glass tablet. “This is for you.”
You looked at the shiny slab of glass with wonder. “What is it?”
“It’s like a control center. You’ll see what I see in terms of my stats and where I am in the city. If anything goes wrong, like say the jets give out, I need you to send a command to manually turn on the back-ups.”
“And what code is that?”
“Not important, we’ll study those later.”
“Later!? What if something happens tonight!?”
“Nothing will happen I promise, I’ll see you in a bit ~!” his cheering faded away the further he ran from you and to his beloved suit.
There was no use in fighting your boss, so you did as you were told and touched the tablet to reveal the control panel. It was black for a few moments before the screen showed your tiny self off in the distance looking down at the tablet which meant that Woojin was able to put on and turn on the suit super quickly without any problems.
“What do you see?” he asked you through the speakers of the tablet from his built-in microphone in the helmet.
“I see me in the distance, the battery level of the suit, and all other weird liquids and commodities at one hundred percent.”
“Perfect!”
You turned to look at your boss who was stretching and feeling out the suit as if this wasn’t his 50th time wearing it. Still, he looked so excited and proud of his hard work, it was hard to tease him about how childish he was, even if he was trying out his yoga poses he just learned. 
“How does it feel?”
“It feels incredible! Totally indescribable now that I’m out in the open. And it’s surprisingly lightweight.”
“How were you able to make it feel light with all that metal?”
“I don’t know, if I’m being honest…”
You rolled your eyes. “The work of a genius, huh?”
“You’ve got that right. Are we ready to take off?”
“I believe so. Are you ready to take off?”
“More than I’ll ever be, baby!!”
Before you knew it, you saw the camera’s view on the screen wobble and turn towards the edge of the building. Terrified, you saw your child-like boss get a running start before he dove off the edge and into the sea of the city.
In a panic, you ran and took a peak over the edge, hoping the jets or whatever kept the suit flying would operate properly and leave you without any worries. At first, Woojin was but a dark red speck falling beneath the shadows, but a second later, he came flying up at lighting speed doing tricks and flips with ease and whooping loudly, as any normal CEO of a software company slash wannabe superhero would do. You could hear him giggling through your tablet, and like a spectator watching the most spectacular aerial performance, you watched him with a smile on your lips.
After his solo, he glided back down to you and hovered beyond the edge just at your eye level. You couldn’t see any features behind the glass of his eyes so you were left awkwardly staring at his expressionless helmet with those signature weird fangs. After all you and Woojin have been through together, even with an idea like this being so ridiculously obscure, he could always rely on you to support him no matter what. He saw how your eyes sparkled with wonderment and how your cheeks dusted a soft pink and it was then that he knew you would stay by his side for even more ridiculous shenanigans to come.
He would never let you leave, anyways. Even in another lifetime, he’d have you by his side forever.
“How cool do I look right now?” he asked. His voice sounded deeper and electronic through the helmet, like he was a robot or had his voice programmed through a phone like Siri. You imagined an idea like that was how Woojin planned on becoming immortal one day.
You raised a brow. “You look kind of… scary?”
“Scary!? Why?”
“I don’t know, if I saw a flying robot come at me at rocket speed, I think I’d be terrified!”
“Well, if I come to your rescue, at least you’ll know it’s me.”
“I suppose. So what are you going to do now? Throw a reveal event? Press conference, perhaps?”
“That, or wait for a Demon-Level threat to pass through our city. I don’t know, whichever comes first.” Woojin shrugged nonchalantly. “Wanna see something cool?”
Before you could agree, Woojin held his palm to the sky before a neon blue blast shot out of it, disappearing into God-knows-where. You could feel the heat from the beam of light radiated around you and fear sparked inside your chest..
“What the hell was that!?” you exclaimed.
“Isn’t that so cool!? Gonna hit some suckers and fry them up like bacon!” Your boss blindly shot another beam of light into the sky and you prayed to someone out there that no planes would disintegrate in the process.
“Hey, careful! What if you hit a satellite or something!” In the process of grabbing Woojin’s iron hand so he’d stop being so reckless, you burned yourself upon touching the hot metal opening like a total dumb ass and yanked your hand back. “Ah!!”
“Oh, shit.”
Quickly and haphazardly, Woojin landed back on the helipad and climbed out of the iron suit. In the process of running back to your aid, he untied his black silk necktie to use as a temporary band aid on your scalding palm. Gingerly, his cold hands took yours and ran a thumb over the scarring semicircle.
“Ah ah ah stop!!” you cried with tears of pain and embarrassment streaming down your cheeks.
“Sorry! Here,” Woojin wrapped his tie around your palm and tied it tightly. The pure silk felt cooling against the burn and soon your tears stopped and you couldn’t do anything else besides sniffle. “Let’s go back inside. My office has a first aid kit.”
Your mumbling and cursing boss led you back to his office with urgency, blaming himself for being so stupid and recklessly playing with what could be considered a weapon of mass destruction. And now his favorite person, the one person who believed in his iron suit, was hurt in the process, pouting cutely and holding your burned hand like you were an injured puppy. This was one of his greatest fears upon completing this project.
You sat on his sapphire blue velvet couch with the bronze-gilded frame that looked like it belonged in the Ravenclaw common room trying to alleviate the pain of the burn in Woojin’s ice bucket (for his white wine, of course) while he shifted through his drawers to find the first aid kit you gave him a couple years ago.
“Do you remember when you got this for me?” he asked as soon as he pulled it out from the bottom drawer. You shook your head, too lightheaded and in too much pain to remember. He sat next to you and began to tell the old story while patching you up. “It was your third year working here, but my first day as CEO when I took over for my Dad. I got so many paper cuts from all the paperwork I had to read and sign and I got a massive headache afterwards and I just wanted to eat something because all I had that day was an iced americano. It was so late and by the time I was finished, it was maybe 7:00pm -”
“8:00 pm,” you corrected in between sniffles.
“Ah, so you do remember! At 8:00pm, you waltzed into my office wearing your comfiest clothes with a bag of take-out in one hand and the first aid kit with a million bandaids and Tylenol in the other. That night, you sat in my office and helped patch up my fingers, fed me lo mein, and helped me with the rest of the paperwork for two hours. I thought of you as my guardian angel since that day and vowed to myself that no matter what, you and I would stick by each other’s side and be the dynamic duo that we are forever. Oh, how the tables have turned tonight. Now I’m the one patching you up.”
Woojin had finished wrapping your palm at the end of his story. Something about his proclamation didn’t sit right with you. Something about staying here forever, clocking in massive amounts of overtime and being subservient to the same men sounded like your own personal hell.
“I can’t be your secretary forever, Mr. Kim.”
“I know,” he admitted. “But I don’t have to think about that for quite some time, right?”
“Maybe.”
“I hate change, you know.”
“I, more than anyone else, know that.”
Your handsome boss chuckled lightly at the heavy subject. His curly caramel hair covered his eyes as he looked down at your hand and traced small shapes on the bandaid. You knew that he knew you didn’t want to stay here forever, and he couldn’t blame you, but it didn’t make the thought of you leaving any less heartbreaking.
“Does it feel any better?”
“Much better,” you said truthfully as the cooling gel felt like a magical potion.
“This first aid kit is the only practical gift I’ve ever received. All others are for the aesthetic.”
“Do you prefer practical gifts, Mr. Kim?”
“Of course! The fuck am I going to do with a VVS diamond-encrusted chain?”
“Flex on all the other young CEOs?”
“And partake in their pissing contest? No, thank you.”
“You’re telling me you won’t be doing that this weekend at the Charity Ball?”
“When I have you next to me, I don’t need VVS diamonds,” Woojin grinned flirtatiously.
You hit his arm with your good hand and he flinched upon his correct prediction. “I am not an accessory!”
“Of course not! You are my beloved intelligent sidekick that all other big wigs tell me they wished they had! But when you look like that, it’s bonus points ~”
“Ugh, your kind are all the same!” you scoffed, trying to collect your things and storm out the door.
“It’s a compliment!” he teased. Woojin managed to chase after you and grab your things to carry to his car so he could drive you home for the 1106th time.
--
After a long and tiring rest of the week helping your boss do target practicing with the iron suit on, Saturday had arrived and now you had the honor of accompanying said-boss to a Big Dick contest disguised as a Charity Ball. The main event was for the sake of the children of course, but the real show was to see who was wearing what designer with what accessories and who pulled up in the fanciest sports car with the youngest and sexiest date in their arms. You were so, so lucky to be working for someone who liked to stay low key, despite always being the center of attention.
“Why are you so nervous?” Woojin teased, nudging your arm as you both walked up to the front doors of the venue. “This isn’t the first time you’ve played as my date.”
“I know, but it doesn’t get any easier,” you admitted, shyly covering yourself from the much-more revealing outfit now that it was tailored to fit.
“You and I look fine! Muted colors, minimal diamonds, low key attitudes - we’re perfect! No one will even notice we’re here.”
That was a complete lie, because the second you walked in, a swarm of gossip columnists and magazine writers circled around the two of you, bombarding you both with the same questions you were so used to.
“Mr. Kim, who are you wearing?”
“Mr. Kim, who’s your lovely date?”
“Mr. Kim, what’s the best way to lock in that your date will go home with you?”
Woojin raised his hand slightly and all that could be heard were the cameras clicking. God, the power he has… 
“Dior, a close friend, and be so irresistible that they can’t say no.”
Without another word, he gently took your bandaged hand and led you out of the circle of gossipers who were silent in awe. With your free hand, you covered up your ugly laughing.
“You’re such a cornball!” you said in between a fit of giggles.
“An irresistible cornball, at least. Now, walk me through all these people again?”
Woojin was young and when it came to networking, he still had the mentality of being the CEO’s son rather than the CEO. That meant that Woojin didn’t care much in remembering other CEO’s names and relied on you to remind him of all the people he should have remembered three years ago. It was a consistent hour of introductions and small talk about future goals, collaborations, and golfing, all of which you were able to expertly tune out while sipping prosecco and snacking on caviar tarts. Years of experience thankfully made these events easier.
“Did you practice your speech for your donation?” you reminded Woojin after taking a seat at the prestigious Table 2. Since the company was one of the Charity Ball’s biggest sponsors, the CEOs were always invited to say some manufactured speech.
“Yeah. I even practiced it in the shower. Hopefully I get the charity organization correct this time.”
“It’s amazing how you even got this far.”
The Charity Ball should have been named See Who Can Donate the Most Money Ball because every speech given by a CEO of some company tried to out-do each other. Luckily, your company’s speeches were always last and your touch of humanity written on paper always had the audience in awe with the Woojin’s compassion. To pass the time, you and Woojin played rock-paper-scissors and whomever lost had to drink champagne. Let’s just say Woojin ended up having the infamous Asian Glow.
His face was still blushy by the time it was his turn and you almost felt bad because the pictures with the flash turned on probably wouldn’t be so flattering in the magazines, but that wouldn’t matter because he still looks like the most stunning man in the room. All eyes were on him as he made his speech, but he had his eyes on you. Probably because he would piss his pants if he saw how many people were looking at him. You gave him two thumbs up for encouragement.
“It is the greatest honor to be here and giving a speech for the third year in a row. Children are the source and future for a better world, and it is our duty to -”
You blanked out for most of it since you wrote it. It was hard to focus anyways when his eyes were so piercing, so you averted his gaze and counted the number of peppercorns on his unfinished steak. At an alarming fifty-three, you glanced around the gallery to see if anyone was actually paying attention. Many, if not all, of the guests around your age were paying attention with dreamy eyes and pouty lips, all wishing they were in your position tonight. Some even dared to make eye contact with you as if to say, ‘how DARE you NOT pay attention to the sexiest man alive!?’ The older, more powerful guests seemed genuinely interested in the amount Woojin was donating and the older dates seemed to care more about their reflection on the back of a spoon.
The fattest check with a bunch of zeros was walked onto the stage. A standing ovation was in order of course, and you conformed with the crowd, even though applause always made Woojin visibly uncomfortable.
“He throws a big, fat check to charity and yet he still doesn’t like the attention, huh?”
As the clapping died down and the noise faded into the smooth hum of the live piano and jazz music, you turned to face the owner of a familiar sly voice. The man that stood before you was the famous doctor slash art collector slash playboy who you’ve come to know after attending all of these flashy events.
You smiled slyly at the man. “If it isn’t GQ’s Bachelor of the Month, Dr. Park Seonghwa.”
The raven-haired man gave you his signature smirk. Then he took your hand and kissed it tenderly like the prince he is. “Lovely _____, pleasure to see you as always.”
“Have you been doing that to all the other guests you frequent at these events?”
“Of course not! Just the beautiful ones.”
You let out a loud scoff. “You and your way with words.”
“Are they enough to convince you to finally go out to dinner with me?”
“Not quite.”
Seonghwa sighed tiredly and dropped his head as if this was the first time you’ve rejected him. Guess every time felt like the first time. The handsome raven held his hand out to you. “If not dinner, how about a dance?”
Hesitantly, you searched for your boss like you were trying to sneak away from a parent. He was busy shaking hands and catching up with The Important People’s Club, so you didn’t think one dance would hurt, though once you feed a dog a treat, he’ll be begging for more forever.
You took his hand. “One dance.”
“Five.”
“One.”
“Three?”
“Dr. Park!”
“What!? Ok, fine, one dance, unless you’re really feeling it and then we’ll dance some more.”
“Maybe in another lifetime, Dr. Park.”
The young doctor led you to the dance floor before you could object further. For someone not-so-smooth with pick-up lines, he was definitely smooth with his moves. With one gentle hand on your waist and the other holding your hand, you two glide around the white tiles like the Royalty of the ball, and truly, for a few moments, it really felt like you were the star of this fairy tale.
Seonghwa let out a tired sigh. “Intelligent, beautiful, loyal, and good at dancing? How are you so good at everything?”
“Stop that.”
“I mean it! Yet no man swept you off your feet.”
“Just because I won’t say yes to you, doesn’t mean I’m not waiting for that special someone.”
Seonghwa held your hand up high and made you do a little twirl. “You might be waiting for a while, beautiful.”
“Why do you say that?”
“With Mr. Woojin by your side twenty-five hours eight days a week, there is no man that has the courage to come in between such a strong relationship.”
“Even you?” you challenged.
“Even I. Unless you want me to -”
“Nope.”
“Ice cold heart as always…”
Song number one melted into song number two and it passed you both as you continued to discuss the hot topic of why you’re still single. It’s a conversation topic that you thought was reserved for nosy family members for you to brush off, but coming from another man who has begged for your number since you both met really put your love life into perspective. Perhaps you were too loyal to your boss…
While engulfed in the heated debate, Woojin was desperately searching for his right hand where he thought you’d be - either at your seat or by the bar, but you were at neither. After receiving his order from the bar, he let the expensive gold liquid over ice flooded through his bloodstream, which led him to a group of gawking gossipers whining and gazing at the dance floor. What was all the hype about?
The sight of you in the arms of the world’s most arrogant doctor didn’t sit too well with him. The scene made him see green.
“You’re such a liar!” Woojin heard you laugh aloud. “I did NOT give you so-called bedroom eyes at Yuta’s house warming!”
“You’re telling me you weren’t eyeing me up and down like a barbecued piece of pork belly dipped in sesame oil?”
“That’s because you had sesame oil on your white shirt!”
“Excuses, excuses.”
Woojin took another sip of his golden drink before putting it down haphazardly and waltzing towards the dancing couple. To onlookers, this scene looked like it was straight out of those cheesy love triangle dramas. The gossipy gals wondered - would Woojin punch Seonghwa? Would he grab your hand harshly and drag you away to scold you and tell you how much he cared about you? Would he kiss you!?
You saw your uncharacteristically stern-looking boss approaching, and even though you’re unsure of his intentions, you still smiled brightly, as you always did whenever you saw him. Woojin lightened his heavy, angry steps. Even with another man by your side, you still looked at him. How could he be mad at you?
“Hello, Mr. Woojin,” Seonghwa greeted, holding out a hand for him to shake. You knew your boss wasn’t the biggest fan of Seonghwa, but he politely returned the gesture anyways. Somehow you felt your heart beating in your throat - the tension on the dance floor was too high, too powerful, and you were but an awkward and nervous secretary standing on the side while two powerful men duked it out.
“Dr. Seonghwa, nice to see you again.” Woojin was good at lying, but his lies never passed you. The amount of discomfort knitted in his eyebrows almost made you snicker. “Long nights at the hospital still?”
“As always, but at least it’s rewarding and enjoyable. How are your long nights at the office?”
“Can’t get enough of them, right, _____?”
“What? You’re still doing that much overtime?” Seonghwa asked worriedly. Now, was he worried because you were overworking yourself or was he worried because you were spending so much time with a man that wasn’t him?
You shrugged unapologetically. “I love that overtime pay.”
“_____, that’s not good for your health -”
“I tell them that all the time,” Woojin interrupted defensively. He was always like this whenever anyone questioned the amount of work you had. To you, it was not much of a burden at all, but to anyone else, they couldn’t fathom your work hours but if they saw your paycheck, maybe they’d understand. Even your boss felt bad whenever your friends blamed him, but  no matter how much he tried to convince you of a normal 40-hour work week, the duties of being his secretary never added up to just that. Therefore, your boss always felt the need to defend you and him for the sake of making sure you weren’t portrayed as his slave. “But you’re just so stubborn, aren’t you?”
“Only because it’s you, Mr. Kim,” you said like you’re reading a script. Somehow that doesn’t translate through the ears of the two powerful men in front of you, as your boss smiled triumphantly and Seonghwa couldn’t help but shake his head.
“If you ever want to take me up on that date, Lovely _____, you know who to call.” The most handsome man who’s ever flirted with you took your hand gently and planted a sweet, soft kiss that sent little tingles all up your arm. You don’t think you’ll ever reciprocate his feelings, but the feeling of being desired and wanted by a man really kicked up your ego and really made you think - when was the last time you ever liked someone, or someone ever liked you?
Park Seonghwa disappeared into the crowd and perhaps left the Charity Ball all together. Until next time.
Your boss turned to face you, whose stern face quickly melted into innocence as he knew what was coming by the look on your annoyed expression. “What?”
“What was that all about?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You shook your head and mumbled under your breath, “Ugh, you are unbelievable, Mr. Kim.”
As you tried to escape, the desperate man caught your hand. “Wait, where are you going?”
“Away from you for just five minutes, can you let me do that?” you snapped in a hushed volume. “Or do you need to watch over me and speak on my behalf, since you’re my Father apparently!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to act like that.”
“You say that every time, especially when I’m talking to another man and even more-so when I’m talking to Dr. Park. When will your sorries mean something?”
“You know I get protective over you.”
“Again, you are not my Father!”
“I know, but -”
All of the attention that was once focused on the handsome CEO and his secretary shifted to the glass ceiling that was now shattered to pieces upon the force of some dozens of masked strangers dressed in all black. Woojin instinctively, though harshly, forced you down so he could hover over you so none of the glass hit you. What followed seemed to be too numbing, as all of the stimuli in the banquet hall was too much to handle.
“Get down,” Woojin instructed while pushing you under one of the tables. “Don’t move until I come back.”
“Wait, but where are you -”
“I’ll be back in ten minutes!”
“Mr. Kim!”
Of course, he didn’t listen, as Mr. Kim always did what he wanted, right? Which would normally annoy the fuck out of you, but who has the time to panic about what your boss was up to when you’re stranded under the table and shrouded by cheap table cloth linen?
Since those people had invaded and fallen from the sky, you noticed that no gunshots or any sort of violence outside of melee were heard. No purpose of the attack is even known yet, but the signs were promising, until the famous alarm was heard throughout the whole town.
“Threat level: Dragon. Please stay inside until all threats have been cleared. Threat level: Dragon. Please stay inside until -”
“Ah, yes, the richest of the rich gather here today to donate the smallest percentage of their some billions of dollars to charity,” a booming voice tisked through a microphone. “Do you feel good about your good deed of the year? Are you proud of yourselves?”
For some unknown reason, the voice paused, as if waiting for an answer or a reaction from the people. Nothing was heard besides shrill screaming and crying, which was probably what the wannabe-vigilante wanted. For the first time, you peaked through the slits of the table cloth. At the stage where Woojin gave his speech was a now-broken stage with the foot of a giant robot through it. It was a very top-heavy robot that looked like it had a large cavity in its belly, whose odd shape probably served some weird purpose unknown to everyone.
“Perhaps you’ll be proud of your donations for once when we capture you all and milk you of your every last penny!” The man laughed evilly at the head of the robot. “Down with the rich!”
“Down with the rich!” his people cheered in unison.
The oddly political turn of events made the scene less jarring - it seemed like an over-exaggeration of townspeople coming together to fight for higher taxing of the rich. Then you were reminded of the Dragon-level threat by how the minions loaded up the richies with a gun pointed to their heads and the complex mechanism that loaded them up to the belly of the robot. Somewhere among the mass of people you saw Seonghwa in between another surgeon and a senior engineer at Tesla before he disappeared behind the walls of metal.
“Hey, I found another one!” someone yelled close by. “Under Table 2!”
Shit. “Fuck.”
Perhaps all those years of advance self defense classes that Woojin’s father enrolled you in would come to good use this time.
By your glamorously-strapped heel, one of the masked men dragged you out from under the table. There was no use in struggling, and the man seemed quite satisfied with how you complied.
“Let’s go, darling.”
With your free foot, you dug the pointy end of the studded heel into his groin. Luckily, you can only ever imagine how painful something like that could feel. He was in so much pain that he doubled over and let go of your foot, leaving you to flee to God-knows-where after you stole his police baton.
“Don’t fucking call me darling,” you spat as a farewell.
There were too many men in between you and the emergency exit, so you had to fight your way through like in those cheesy American action movies. A bunch of kicks in the groin here and a couple baton to the knee caps there were enough to get you by half way, but then they started double-teaming on you. Of course, this was much harder, but Senior Mr. Kim didn’t give you the best sensei in the damn nation for no reason. You felt invincible even after defeating multiple double teams, but it was the triple teaming that got you stuck. You can only kick and baton so many groins at one time until two men held each of your arms and the other stole the baton.
While struggling to break free, you managed to knee the one in front of you in the chin, causing him to cut his lip with blood dripping on his cheap leather shoes. After realizing what had happened, he punched you in the cheek as punishment. Was that a bone you heard cracking?
“Try me again, bitch,” he seethed.
Out of nowhere, your knight in Iron armor landed before the one who punched you and returned the favor, sending his body through so many walls of this building that you worried about the foundation and how long you had before it collapsed.
Woojin’s red and gold helmet swung sharply and the empty eyes were staring into the souls of your captors while at the same time not.
“Who’s next?” Woojin threatened with his super cool and inaccurately deep robotic voice.
Both men fled the scene as quickly as possible, losing their grip and throwing you to the floor. The penny taste finally registered in your brain that yes, you were definitely coughing and spitting out blood.
The cold metal of Iron Man’s hand helped you to your feet while the other cupped your quickly-bruising cheek gently. The underlying tenderness of your boss’s touch somehow healed all pain, or perhaps it was the cooling iron. Gestures like these were so foreign that you almost forgot it was your boss behind the mask and not some handsome stranger who was ready to sweep you off your feet. It was instances like these where you wished the latter was real.
“Are you ok?” he asked gingerly.
“I’m fine,” you promised. “Go save your investors.”
A light chuckle came from Iron Man. “My driver’s already waiting outside. Are you able to run?”
“I’m not leaving without you.”
“C’mon, _____, now’s not the time -”
“Do not argue with me until you save everyone, Mr. Kim.”
Woojin shook his head tiredly. He knew there was no use arguing with his headstrong secretary. “You’re so stubborn. Just promise you won’t get into any trouble this time.”
“No.”
“I’m cuttin’ down on your work hours!” he yelled, blasting off to fight the giant robot thing so he wouldn’t have to hear you argue back again.
You were left with a couple of masked minions who still had the balls to attack and capture you as if you were worth more than your surprisingly above-average five-figure salary. Your copper saliva mixed with your boss trusting you enough to not die in the middle of a Dragon-level threat really pumped the adrenaline through your veins, so as one man sprinted to attack, you managed to dodge it and kick him in the throat before he could try something else. The other guy tried to sneak up behind you, but you were quicker, swinging the baton hard enough to the head to knock him out cold. The power you felt coursing through your body left you on a major high. Where were all the other minions? No way was that all…
In the middle of the banquet hall was the face-off of the century, rivaling any and all story lines from DC and Marvel combined. A tiny seven-foot-something intricately crafted and painted sheet of metal was about to fight a giant several-stories tall and several-dozen-tons heavy hunk of junk with dozens of guests they managed to scoop inside. Now how was Mr. Kim going to save the day this time?
“Kim Woojin, the man of the night,” the man controlling the ship scoffed. “You will look like my childhood favorite action figure once I stuff you in a glass box in my office! A prized treasure is what you’ll be. How does that sound?”
“Sounds kinky.” You could just sense the smirk behind his mask. “Then what will you do to me?”
“Milk you of all your assets, of course! Liquidation of its truest definition! The redistribution of wealth will come easy to the people, especially with your earnings in the mix!”
“Fine, take my money. But let these people go.”
“Absolutely not! I need all the money I can get! How do you expect me to change the distribution of wealth of the entire world with just one CEO’s salary!? Mr. Kim, I thought you knew that, silly.”
“Ok, fine. You take all of our money and then what?”
“Well, kill you, of course.”
A chorus of gasps and crying were heard from the belly of the machine.
The philosophical man continued. “People like you are the very reason there is a large pay gap. You sit on your ass drinking cocktails and eating caviar and you donate to some profiting charity only a tiny percentage of what you make while all the good hard-working people are the ones bringing the big bucks into your bank account! And what do they get? Small paychecks and four hours of sleep!”
Yeah, this guy was bad, but he had his points, so you’ll cheers to that, am I right?
“Well, then where will you get your money after that? Hm?” The captain stayed silent. “Where will you get more money to sustain this utopia? Certainly not from the hard-working people who have no experience leading or handling such a huge sum of money. And certainly not from you, right? Ha! With your five-figure salary paychecks that barely get the bills paid on time.”
A heavy arm swung to try and snatch up your boss. Though the arm was so large and heavy, Woojin barely managed to escape his grasp. By the silence of the once-chatty leader of the pack, you could tell that he was bothered by the words spat by the youngest CEO in the room. How dare Woojin mock his hard-earned pay when his earnings were given to him on a VVS diamond-encrusted platter!? There were a couple of times where he landed a couple of hits on your boss and you should feel worried, but you couldn’t help but think he deserved it. You hated to be on the enemy’s side, but you, too, were one of those five-figure salary paycheck owners that are barely scraping by with their bills. And of course you were all for the redistribution of wealth, but this guy definitely went a little too far…
You would think that the sheer size of this oddly-shaped hunk of metal wouldn’t be able to move so fast, but it managed to capture Woojin by digging its claw to the wall and sandwiching Woojin in between. He couldn’t even wiggle his way out between gaps because the THING was pressing too hard against the wall. Woojin could feel the metal bending from inside.
“People like you will never understand the worth of the dollar,” the captain seethed. “Not when stacks come to you in baskets sewn with gold and jewels commissioned by your Daddy. People like you, and everyone captured, need to be humbled a little. Maybe you all can learn a little something from the working class.”
“Then we die, is that right?”
“Of course! But at least you’ll die a hard-working man, Mr. Kim.”
“I will. But I’ll die a hard-working man with billions in my grave before I let you take a penny!”
The blue beam of light that you once cursed for burning a half circle on your palm you were now thankful for, as that beam of light shot your boss up in the air and freed him, taking a few fingers off of the hunk of metal with him. A couple more shots of incinerator beams later, and both arms of the robot had been severed and half disintegrated. Woojin kicked the glass where the leader sat and pulled out the defenseless lump of flesh that spoke the harsh truth about the wealthy. The leader was a young man who was not much older than either you or your boss, who didn’t look afraid in the slightest. Perhaps he expected, or even wanted, to go out this way - fighting for what he believed in.
The police, who had been waiting outside for all the ruckus to die down, came in and cuffed the leader and a few of his minions who cowardly hid under the tables. Woojin helped all of his investors safely come out and among the crowd you saw Seonghwa, safe and sound.
You thought after a traumatic attack that now was not the time and place to reveal who Iron Man was or even associate yourself with him, so you tried to mix in with the crowd and book it to the driver like he asked you to do before. But of course your flaunty boss wanted to do the exact opposite.
“_____, wait!”
No, no, no, no, no, what the hell! Really!? Right now!? was how Woojin read your expression as he walked to you with the suit on. When the seven-foot something Iron Man stopped before you, the face of his helmet slid open to reveal an out-of-breath Woojin. The entire banquet hall echoed with gasps.
“Are you ok? You’re not hurt, are you? Your bruise is getting worse!”
You could not feel anything on the left half of your face besides intense pain and somehow numbness at the same time and your limbs felt like jello and over-kneaded dough. But you couldn’t let your boss worry about you - he needs to take care of more important people right now. You’ll be fine come tomorrow once you sleep on a frozen bag of peas.
“I’m fine, I promise,” you said convincingly. “Looks like you have an impromptu press conference to deal with.”
To Woojin’s dismay, all of the cameras and press and the phones of his business friends captured his face inside the Iron suit next to his famous secretary that all his business friends wished they had. He knew you hated press conferences because even though you never said anything, you were always by his side and that meant the cameras were pointed at you also.
“I can deal with them. Go to the car and go home.”
“I can stay with you.”
“I won’t allow it. You need to go home and ice your face.”
“I said I -”
“I said go.”
Woojin never raised his voice at you ever because he never had a reason to. You were always hard-working and loyal and you always did everything correctly and did it with his best interest in mind. He’ll allow small things that might be detrimental to your health, like all the over time you loved to have and the unhealthy amounts of coffee you drown yourself in. But when the arm that’s supporting your body weight was shaking, your left cheek was the color of aubergine, and you had blood splatters on different parts of your body, that’s when he had to draw the line. Worry was knitted into his brows and his lips were a flat line and you only ever saw his face like this whenever he talked with his father. It was terrifying to see him almost mad at you and it made your heart sink a little that you did something wrong.
He softened his expression upon seeing your glossy eyes. “Take Monday off to rest. I’ll see you on Tuesday, ok?”
“But -”
“I’ll pay you for your time off, so don’t worry about the money. I just want you to rest. Can you do that for me?” You could only nod. “Thank you. Go home - I’ll text you when I’m done cleaning up tonight.”
Woojin plastered on his happy television face and returned to the fawning crowd and overly-thankful investors. You were blinded by the flashing camera lights and that was your cue that you didn’t belong there anymore.
The trot music-loving driver hummed the whole way home while driving on auto-pilot, as he had memorized the path to your apartment long ago. Sitting in the back seat covered head-to-toe in the finest satin wasn’t as luxurious when you were alone as opposed to having your equally-luxurious boss next to you. You imagined what it’d be like if a giant robot didn’t crash the party this evening: you’d probably yell at him more about how you needed space and that he was overreacting with the whole Seonghwa deal; then he might try to bribe you with food or dessert so that you’d stop pouting like a child (and you’d totally cave in); and finally, he’d walk you up to your doorstep begging to come inside once more and you’d deny his entry, only for him to leave you with a comment about how you were the most stunning person at the ball tonight.
In short, as much as you hated to admit it, the ride home was lonely. Can you believe that? Your short time alone away from your boss was fucking lonely. Not peaceful, not relaxing, not mind-clearing, but totally and completely lonely. So much so that your heart ached a little, and to put these feelings in the simplest terms, it was because you were so used to being by his side that the emptiness to the seat next to you mimicked an unfamiliar cavity in your heart. It’s a painful feeling, really, because that meant leaving this job would be much harder than you hoped.
As if he planted a tracking device in your phone, Woojin texted you upon locking the front door to your place.
The Money Man [01:03 am]: did you make it home ok?
An involuntary smile spread across your lips.
You [01:04 am]: just got home. are you stalking me?
The Money Man [01:04 am]: you didn’t think the phone i gave you was completely harmless and bugless, did you? ;)
You [01:05 am]: i should have known better. how’s the impromptu press conference? are people surprised that it’s you?
The Money Man [01:07am]: they are, but at the same time it’s not. ppl keep asking me questions and won’t let me take the suit off, can you believe that!? it’s hot as balls in this thing!!
The Money Man [01:07am]: shit, gotta go - gotta somehow convince these idiots this is definitely NOT something to invest in.
You [01:08am]: text when you’re home.
The Money Man [01:08am]: yes, darling.
‘Darling’ has a nice ring to it.
--
Having Sunday all to yourself was normal and you did what you always did every weekend: cleaned your place, took your time making a nice meal, organizing all of your work papers, and ended the night with a hot shower and an ice pack to your cheek. Monday, on the other hand was a disaster. You were so bored! Your fingers were itching to scribble down your boss’s agenda and you were so tempted to log into your work laptop, but you knew Woojin would chew your ear off for not listening to him and resting as you should. It wasn’t your fault that you were a work-a-holic!
After looking in the mirror and hating the way your face looked for the fiftieth time, it was time to accept that the bruise wouldn’t disappear for at least a couple more weeks. Sunday was at its ugliest, where the center of your cheek was a deep purple and there was this off-colored halo around the perimeter. Now, the swelling went down and it wasn’t as purple or painful, but still equally ugly no matter how you looked at it or tried to cover it up.
After a lonely and boring Monday afternoon, your doorbell rang around 5:00pm. You weren’t expecting any visitors or deliverymen, so upon peaking through your viewfinder, you were surprised to see your boss on the other side.
“What are you doing here?” you asked surprised.
Woojin was glad you didn’t seem disgusted by his presence since he was the one who told you to take the day off and you must be tired of seeing his face by now. He whipped out an oily bag from behind his back with a child-like grin on his face. It was an unusual sight to see a man dressed in a several thousand dollar business suit carrying a twenty dollar bag of dinner.
“You and I have some business to discuss.”
“Hold on, let me get this straight - you tell me to take the day off, rest up, ice my bloodshot cheek only for you to come into my home and say I need to work?”
“Yup,” he claimed unapologetically, squeezing past you to get through.
“Yes, please come in, Your Highness,” you rolled your eyes, though he was already setting up at your dinner table.
“Your home is nice. Why are you always so embarrassed whenever I try to come in?”
“I mean, look at it. It’s nowhere near as nice as your home.”
“It’s as more of a home than my place will ever be, no matter how many velvet cushions and arcade games I ask you to buy for the place.” Woojin whipped out two bottles of beer, his favorite chaser to wash down the oiliness of the fried chicken, and poured them into glasses. “How’s your cheek?”
“By the look on your face, I guess not so good?”
He adjusted his twisted expression upon your teasing. Blood and bruises were never his thing, so any variation of the sort just looked bad in general. “It just looks so painful… Have you been icing it like I asked?”
“I have, and it’s not as painful as it looks!”
“Oh, yeah?”
Woojin challenged your claim by standing in front of you and lowering his head to see you at eye-level. His face was way too close to be considered appropriate for CEO and Secretary relationship behavior, though you knew he never cared for those formalities. His eyes were always so sparkly per usual and that gave him that dreamy stare all the ladies in the office loved. You never saw the appeal to it until now, with only a few centimeters in between.
He poked your bruised-like-an-apple cheek.
“Ow, what the hell!” you screamed, swatting his hand away.
“Not as painful as it looks, my ass.”
“Well, people don’t go around poking my cheek all day!”
“Do you need pain killers? My doctor can write you a prescription for the best one on AND off market.”
“That’s ok, I only trust Dr. Seonghwa.”
Woojin gave you the same look he gave a former intern who got his breakfast and coffee order incorrect. Let’s just say the intern started crying on the spot. You, on the other hand, could barely hold in your snicker from his death glare. You were never on the receiving end of the infamous death glare and now that you were, it was hard to take it seriously.
“Ha ha,” Woojin fake laughed. “Not funny.”
“What exactly do you have against him, anyways? It’s surprising that you’re threatened by the likes of a doctor and not some other hot shot software company CEO.”
“I don’t have anything against him.”
“You’re such a liar!” you scoffed, taking a swig of the ice-cold beer. “If you didn’t have a problem with him, you wouldn’t have acted so defensive at the charity ball.”
“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” he said shamelessly. A vigorous bite of a chicken leg came afterwards. “He looks at you like how I look at chicken legs.”
“Well, maybe I like the way he looks at me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Stop doing that.”
“You deserve it for acting like my Dad that night.”
“I said I was sorry! I even bought you dinner and cold beer to make up for it!”
“Oh, so this is not because you said that me and you have some business to discuss?”
“Well, that, too.” Woojin wiped his greasy fingers on his silk handkerchief that he kept on the inside of his breast pocket before whipping out his phone to show you multiple news articles on the night of the charity ball. “Watch these videos.”
Almost all of them were exposing your boss who was behind the genius that is Iron Man, but what preceded the reveals were clips of you kicking major ass. The sources came from both paparazzi and the security tapes at multiple angles and it was hard to hide the fact that it was you as all angles captured your facial features quite clearly. Headlines and whole articles talked about how the mighty CEO and his secretary were the perfect unstoppable duo and they weren’t wrong - you kicking ass in a sexy outfit with a man of iron handling the big guy? Definitely a story worth selling.
Your brows furrowed worriedly because you had no idea how Woojin felt. “Are you mad…?
“Mad?” Woojin paused the current video and placed his phone face-down on the table so he could focus on his good chicken and better company. “Why would I be mad?”
“I don’t know! What’s the point in showing me these videos?”
“To show you how bad ass you look! Where did you even learn these moves!?”
“For some reason, your father thought being a secretary was dangerous enough that he decided to enroll me in some classes. I actually really liked it a lot, so I kept at it and I guess I got to a pretty advanced level.”
“Pretty advanced is definitely a misnomer, love. Well, it’s good to hear that Father has made one good decision in his reign.”
“Is this the business you wanted to speak about?” you asked shyly, hoping that the beer was a good enough excuse for your blushing cheeks. You’ll never get used to Woojin praising you.
“Sort of. I have a proposition for you.”
“What, that you want me to be your sidekick?” you scoffed. When Woojin remained silent with only the same sly smirk on his lips, you could see your worst fears coming true. “Oh, God, you’re not serious.”
“I am one hundred percent serious.”
“Are you out of your damn mind!? I am not sidekick material!”
“You totally are! You and I are already the perfect duo! Why not take it up a notch!?”
“No, Mr. Kim, I cannot be your sidekick again, but in a different form and outfit!”
“Why not!? It’s not like I’m not going to pay you for it.”
“The pay is not the problem. The pay is never the problem. It’s…”
How do you put that the pressure of keeping the entire country safe and being by his side twenty-four/seven sounded like your own personal purgatory that you could never escape for as long as you lived, or until you died by the hands of some Demon-level threat monster?
“It’s a huge commitment, I know,” Woojin admitted. “Too huge to even put a price on it. But can you at least consider it? I can’t imagine anyone else by my side except you.”
Now only if a man who wasn’t your boss said that to you without any underlying superhero context, you might have considered the proposal.
“Mr. Kim, I can’t…”
You hesitated getting the right words out, but Woojin knew why. You’ve been bringing up how you couldn’t stay his secretary forever, and although he knew this was true, he couldn’t help but try to keep you anyways. You’ve been loyal to him for so long that he often forgot how to treat you like a friend and not his subordinate. But the thought of you leaving? Soon, at that? It was something he didn’t want to think about just yet. He wanted to keep you by his side for as long as he could.
Woojin downed the last of his beer before whipping out his phone again. This time a slow song played over the speakers. He stood up and offered you a hand.
You raised a brow. “What are you…?”
“You and I never got to dance on Saturday. So dance with me.”
“Here? Right now? In my small ass apartment?”
“The next charity ball isn’t for another month and I don’t think I can wait that long.”
His impatience was just shy of flattering - if only you weren’t so afraid of being within close proximity to him. It was one thing when he helped ease the burn on your hand, it was another when he touched your cheek while inside his iron suit, but the two of you alone dancing in the middle of your living room was a whole other level of intimacy that needed to be hidden from human resources,
You took his hand and he led you to the living room. One hand on your waist and another holding the one with the scabbing half-circle. The two of you swayed in silent contentment for several songs. It was a comfortable silence, but there’s some hidden sadness to it that you couldn’t explain - something along the lines of him missing you dearly, despite you being right in front of him, and you missed him dearly, too. So much that your nerves made you squeeze his hand harder, asking him to not let go of you for a long time.
Then your boss pulled you in close enough that it felt like he was hugging you.
“S-Sir?” you stuttered nervously.
“Thank you,” he began. “For always being there.”
“Well, that’s my job,” you snickered.
“Not just as my secretary, but as my friend.”
“You think of me as your friend?”
“I do. Don’t tell Vice President Chan this, but I consider you one of my closest friends.”
“You’re quite soft, aren’t you?” It took a moment to register that he was definitely not joking. The tension in your shoulders diminished and you were able to relax in front of the equally-vulnerable man. “I consider you one of my closest friends, too.”
“Really?”
“By association though. After all these years being by your side, it’s only natural that I came to like you.”
“I like you, too,” he chuckled, tucking some hairs behind your ear. “A little too much, at that.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“In another lifetime, I feel like you and I would be soulmates.”
“You don’t think we would be in this lifetime?”
Were you hoping to be? “Perhaps. By association though, right?”
You didn’t want to press more about any underlying meaning to his statements, so instead you looked down embarrassed. In another lifetime, in this lifetime, in multiple lifetimes, Woojin thought you and him would be each other’s soulmate no matter what, because a lifetime with you sounded perfect.
A thumb gently ran over the perimeter of your cheek bruise and it tickled rather than burned, so that was a good sign that it was healing. A loud tisk came from your boss.
“God, do I really put you through this much pain!?” he cried aloud.
“Huh? You didn’t cause this - those dumbass followers did!”
“I guess, but I was the one who brought you to that event! And what about the scar on your hand, huh? I definitely caused that one.”
“Well, yeah, but -”
“That’s it, I can’t be hurting you like this anymore. I can’t be putting you through all of this danger like you’re my bodyguard. I have to let you go.”
You knew he was joking when he couldn’t hold in his cheeky smile. “That is not probable cause to fire me, Mr. Kim.”
“Really? Dammit.”
“No matter how many times I get hurt, you can’t get rid of me that easily, ok? I go out on my own terms!”
“So strong willed… I almost hate it.” Woojin sighed exaggeratedly before pulling you in for a real hug this time. His arms squeezed your waist tightly, letting you know that he didn’t want to let you go even if he tried. “Just make sure to give me a two weeks notice, all right?”
“Anything for you, boss.”
“I’m going to miss hearing that from you the most when you leave.”
You hit his chest lightly, but he caught your hand and held it for a few moments before leading you back to your kitchen to finish up dinner. The rest of the night wasn’t you and your boss - it was you and your closest friend enjoying dinner and some ice cream you had in your freezer.
In another lifetime, huh? Too bad you were stuck in this one.
--
Work has mellowed out in terms of paperwork and actually work and has instead transitioned into more press conferences and meetings with government officials regarding Iron Man. In theory, the meetings sounded cool, but you wouldn’t know for sure, as your boss decided to take one of the newer girls as his assistant for these meetings.
The first time he denied your company, you were only a little confused, but it soon passed when he said there was a lot of paperwork he only trusted you to complete on his behalf. But when he would bring her to every event - whether it was out of habit or on purpose - for an entire month, and her only, it really made your blood boil.
No, you weren’t jealous…! You weren’t jealous he was hanging out with someone younger and prettier and more his type! Definitely not! You were upset that your boss, whom you called one of your closest friends in a time of vulnerability, was already replacing you before you could put your two weeks in! And you knew this to be true when he denied your invitation to get lunch and instead you found him in the cafeteria laughing and flirting with the new girl at the table you and him would always sit at.
For a whole month, without even knowing it, you were slowly getting left behind and replaced for someone better - someone who would actually heed his every word and never argue. Someone who would keep their mouth shut for once. Someone who wouldn’t mind taking order from him forever.
It had been a month since you were living in this limbo, and tonight, the night of the Animal Cruelty Charity Ball to which Iron Man would be making a guest appearance, was when you knew he no longer needed you.
“You’re taking Ryujin…?” you repeated, as you couldn’t believe your ears.
“Yes, so you can go home early if you want,” Woojin said as he fixed his bow tie in the giant mirror in his office. He then turned to present to you with an ignorant grin. “How do I look?”
“Why are you taking her?”
“She’s been working hard this past month, so I thought I’d reward her with tonight and have her practice some networking skills.”
“How generous of you,” you mumbled bitterly to yourself.
“Hm?”
“Nothing.”
“Can you help me put on this chain necklace thing? The clasp is so damn tiny…”
Reluctantly, you helped clasp the silver jewelry. While you thought your boss was heavily admiring himself in the mirror, he instead was focused on you and how your face was uncharacteristically stern.
“Are you ok?” he asked sincerely. He pressed a firm hand to your forehead. “Are you sick?”
You harshly swatted his hand away. “I’m fine.”
He shrugged it off, thinking that you probably had a bad week with all of the boring work he’s been having you deal with. A lot of weird and unsettling energy was pent up inside of you for the past month, so before you exited Woojin’s office for the weekend, for some reason you thought this was the appropriate time to speak on it.
“Actually, I’m not fine,” you blurted out. Woojin gave you his full attention for the first time that month. “I… I’m putting in my two weeks.”
His eyes went wide. “What?”
“I’m giving you my two weeks notice.”
“Do you have a job lined up?”
“No, but I will figure that out later.”
“You don’t have another job lined up but you want to quit? Where is this coming from?”
He didn’t sound angry. He wasn’t - he was more hurt than anything else that you wanted to leave without a proper explanation. He thought you and him were doing well… What changed so suddenly?
“I can’t do this anymore,” Woojin noted how your voice was shaking. “I was fine when you had me staying ungodly hours, I was fine when you had me get you coffee every morning and your dry cleaning every Monday, and I was fine when you involved with the Iron Man project, but now all you’ve given me lately is paperwork and shit that the new hires should be doing and not myself!”
“_____, language -”
“And why is that? Why do I feel like I’m starting to get left behind already, or-or why do I feel like you don’t appreciate anything I do!? It’s clear to me that you’ve already begun to replace me, so what’s the use of me staying here when you don’t want me anymore?”
Woojin was silent. You couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad or surprised at your sudden outburst. The tension in the room was suffocating and his silence even more so, like this was his ideal form of psychological torture. Woojin didn’t seem to care for your feelings anymore as he turned back to face the mirror.
“Your two weeks has been noted,” was all he said.
You left the room in tears, with your blood still boiling and your heart crushed. But this was a good thing. In the end, this would be a good thing, is what you were trying to tell yourself, because this lifetime wouldn’t let you be with Woojin.
--
Another month passed by and you were left in a worse limbo than you began with a month and a half ago. No one was contacting you about any job offers so you were left to ‘self-reflect’ or some bullshit this self-help book told you to do for the past two weeks. Luckily, all the overtime you put into your savings account had vastly accumulated into an unthinkable sum that would support you far beyond whatever the government noted as a proper unemployment time. Like, you didn’t even know what to do with the money sometimes - thank Woojin for time-and-a-half, huh?
On days where you couldn’t help yourself - when you felt like torturing yourself - you would look up Woojin on all the tabloid sites. Surprisingly enough, this happened way more than you’d like. Of course, as you speculated, Ryujin had quickly taken your spot as his secretary and God, did you like to shit on how terrible she was! You didn’t have to be at the office to know that Woojin must be frustrated with her by the crookedness of his ties and jackets and how she must have forgotten to schedule a salon appointment by the look of his roots and unruly brows.
Ha! That’s what he fucking gets for not being grateful! That dick!
What a shame your relationship with him had come to. To spend what felt like an entire lifetime with him to being complete strangers, it was like you were reborn into this new and fresh carefree person. So carefree that you hummed on the way home with a bag full of fresh produce from the local market.
Perhaps you should have been less carefree, as a stranger snuck up behind you and knocked you out cold.
--
“Ryujin, where’s my document-signing pen?”
“Um, in your drawer?”
“Which drawer?”
“The one with all the other pens…?”
Woojin sighed loudly, running a hand through his curly locks and staring intently at the mess of papers that scattered on his desk. His desk hadn’t been this messy since the first day he started when he had to sign all of those official documents that transitioned him to CEO. The same day when he fell for you.
Ryujin, who was nothing close to a secretary compared to you, was only getting on his nerves these days. Perhaps yes, he’s been a little too harsh on someone who’s still fairly new, but in truth he just didn’t have a way to express his frustration about you leaving all of a sudden. Where had he gone wrong?
“Take the rest of the night off,” he told his subordinate.
The poor girl bowed obediently and scurried out the room.
Another sign left the young man’s lips. This time it was because he was tired. He couldn’t deal with anymore bullshit tonight.
An anonymous FaceTime call rang his phone. Who could be wanting to FaceTime him at such an odd hour of the weeknight?
When he swiped to answer, all he saw was you tied up roughly to a splintered chair with tape covering your mouth. Woojin nearly dropped his phone.
“Good evening, Mr. Kim,” a familiar voice sang. From the shadows behind you emerged the fake vigilante that led the invasion of the Charity Ball. “I see that you’re doing well.”
“What do you want?” he demanded quietly.
“I think you know what I want.” A shiny knife drew a line across the other cheek, small drops of blood seeping through and mixing with the dried tears and dirt. Woojin’s heart felt like it was collapsing. “A blank check addressed to little ol’ me.”
“If I see another scar on them, I’ll kill you,” he threatened.
The man held his hands up high in defensive mode and took a step away from you. “Fine, I won’t touch them! Just give me what we want near the docs.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Oh, and one more thing - come dressed in Iron Man and I’ll slice their throat. Bye!”
The line cut dead and Woojin had no choice but to leave empty-handed with only a blank check in his pocket.
The air inside the enclosed cargo bed was hot and suffocating and your rising panic did not ease your pain or heavy breathing one bit. It didn’t help that the guy and his minions were playing with your hair and playing with their knives, draggin the dull edges on your arms and neck. Normally, you wouldn’t be so weak and crying to the point that the tape around your mouth was loosening up, but life these days was tough and perhaps an event like this, causing Woojin major inconvenience once again, was what you deserved.
Scurrying and uneven footsteps were heard from outside and you really, really hoped it was Woojin not dressed in Iron Man.
“Here already? He must like you,” the leader teased.
The back of the cargo bed opened up to reveal that the sun had fallen a long time ago and the light of the moon outlined your plain and simple hero. He didn’t give the leader a second passing glance before blindly shoving the blank check to his chest and rushing by your side to untie you. First, he ripped off the tape and you let out loud gasps of air and cries.
Woojin’s shaking hands take hold of your face to try to calm you down. “Hey hey, shh, I’m here. Are you ok? Are you hurt?” You shook your head vigorously, whining and trying to break free from the ropes tying you down. “Hold on, I got you.”
Before Woojin could untie your hands, one of the minions hit him on the back of his head the same way they knocked you out. But your boss was stronger than that - his head was harder than his iron helmet. At the failed attempt, Woojin hurled the guy over his shoulder and out the cargo bed. Your bad ass boss got up like it was nothing, but he was breathing heavily.
Not because he was tired or weak, but because he was furious.
Three more guys tried to kick his ass and it was then you realized that your boss wasn’t just some fake hiding behind an iron suit who could program it to fight. He truly was kicking their ass! Like, raw strength and all! If you weren’t scared to death, you might have thought this was kind of hot. But then Woojin punched one of the guys too hard and it sent him flying over to you, to which you fell over and broke the chair. The rope was no longer tied to anything and you were free.
Yet another one of the lame-o sidekicks tried to capture you again, but now you were equally as furious, if not more, than your partner in crime. How dare they sneak up on you and not even give you a chance to fight back!? That was the definition of a weak-ass group of villains! So of course you had to show them a lesson and kick a few balls and some asses. But the number of asses was infinite and you were getting really tired. They had enough people to fight you and Woojin until you couldn’t keep up and then they’d kill you easily.
“Mr. Kim, now would be a good time for one of your brilliant plans!” you begged between kicks and breaths.
“Ten seconds tops. But when I say so, I need you to hold my hand, ok?”
“What!? What are you planning!?”
“Just trust me!” You and Woojin saw the leader direct the last ten of his minions to finish the job. “Ready? Three… two… one!”
A heavy force on the outside pushed the cargo bed off the edge of the pier and into the ocean with the purpose of drowning everyone in it. The only sensation you felt was ice cold water freezing your blood flow and Woojin grasping your hand for dear life while trying to swim up to the surface. Before blacking out from lack of oxygen, you felt the ripples of something entering the ocean and saw a faded red and golden glow of light. Not a second later, a hollowed Iron Man on autopilot rushed you and Woojin to the surface and placed you gently on the sand just under the pier. The silent night was filled with a chorus of ugly coughing fits from you and your boss. What a wonderful CEO slash ex-secretary couples activity this turned out to be.
As soon as your breathing returned to a rhythmic beat, a wet, crying, sand-covered Woojin held your face in his still-trembling hands. He didn’t say a word - he simply held you and pressed his forehead to yours, making sure that yes, this was real, and not some unconscious dream where he was still in the middle of the ocean drowning. Yes, you were there with him and you were alive.
“Why are you crying? I was the one kidnapped,” you joked, hoping it’d lighten up the mood if but a little bit.
Woojin laughed between sniffles and shivers, but couldn’t stop crying. He was smiling, but still crying, and if that didn’t perfectly depict this situation, you’re not sure there’s anything out there that did. Haphazardly, he planted a cold kiss on your forehead before pulling you into a hug.
“I’m so happy you’re ok,” he whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Why? You had nothing to do with this.”
“I’m just sorry in general. I’m sorry I took you for granted. I’m sorry for making you feel like I was replacing you. I’m sorry for not buying you that cappuccino three years ago. I’m sorry for -”
What’s the only way to silence your sexy boss in a heartfelt moment like this that would complete this superhero plot line? Kissing him mid-sentence, of course. You kissed your loving boss fully, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your whole body into it. It took him a while to register that yes, his secretary was definitely kissing him, but once it did, he kissed you even harder, enough to make you fall back onto the grass with him on top of you.
You’re left breathless the moment your lips parted. “I-I, uh, I forgive you…”
“How could you ever think that I could replace you?” he muttered. “I could never. Not in this lifetime.”
“You also said that me and you wouldn’t happen in this lifetime,” you challenged.
“Lifetimes can merge into one, I guess.”
Iron Man returned to Woojin’s basement as soon as his job was done, so your favorite driver picked you two up in ten minutes with plush hot towels and dry clothes to change into. The pajamas you wore already had your initials monogrammed over your heart.
“Yeah, uh, about that,” Woojin began awkwardly on the car ride home. “I was going to gift them to you a couple Christmases ago, but you said that monogrammed clothing was cheesy and stupid, so I abstained…”
“... They’re not so bad,” you admitted truthfully. “Very soft.”
Coming home to Woojin’s felt so wrong, yet so right. You’ve only ever been inside for business reasons, such as redesigning his closets and kitchen pantry, but now that you were here on leisure - well, after almost fucking dying - it was kind of weird. But Woojin holding your hand reassured you that you were wanted here - that he needed you here.
“Take a shower upstairs. I’ll go make some tea.”
You gladly obeyed, using your favorite shower that you helped design. The door and the walls of the shower were made of glass and the shower head hung from the ceiling, making your long, hot shower feel like it was raining. Your body was covered in cuts and bruises and it was really ugly, but you’ve never felt more badass and in control in your entire life.
You left the shower smelling like orchids and eucalyptus and entered the kitchen that smelled like ginger and honey. Woojin, who had also showered, followed shortly after, stealing a kiss on your cheek that was cut up earlier that evening.
You followed Woojin to his giant marble island while he poured tea into white mugs on the other side. This felt so… domestic. This felt so right. This felt like home.
“I have a business proposition for you,” he smirked slyly.
Well, that ruined the moment. “What, no ‘how have you been the past month since I replaced you with some other chick’?”
“I promise I’ll ask that after, but I need to ask you this.” Your hard-headed boss was all giddy just at the idea of it and it was the first time in a whole month since you’ve seen him smile like this. He was so, so cute.
“Fine, what is it?”
“I want to hire you back.”
“Mr. Kim, I already told you, I can’t -”
“As the Head Director of the Iron Man project.”
Your eyes widened at the prestigious title. “Head Director?”
“You stayed by my side through all the criticism and the praise and I can’t imagine a better person for the position.”
“So it’s not just a fancy title for like, super secretary, right…?”
Your handsome man chuckled. “No, I promise.”
“Head Director, huh?” your lips slowly spread into a grin. “I like the sound of that.”
“Is that a yes?”
“On a few conditions.”
“Hit me.”
“Higher pay with time-and-a-half.”
“Obviously.”
“I get my own secretary.”
“Of course.”
“An extra week of vacation.”
“You’re pushing it.”
“Last one. I’m your date to every event from now on.”
Woojin raised his eyebrow teasingly. “Oh? And if I say no?”
“Then I say no.”
“Jeez, I’m kidding! Of course you can, on two conditions.”
“Fine.”
“You call me Woojin from now on. Or boyfriend, or soulmate, or whatever suits your fancy.”
“Deal.”
“Second,” Woojin leaned in and puckered his pink lips. “Kiss me.”
You start your new job next week - after Woojin cashed in one week of vacation to spend with his soulmate.
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razberryyum · 5 years
Video
The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 9, Part 1 of 2
(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)
[covers MDZS chapters 28 and 29…kinda…well, the Yue Yang Chang sect murders was introduced in those chapters, but it is different from how the show presented it]
WangXian meter: 🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰 +🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰+🐰+🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰🐰
(so I decided to come up with a more organized way of scoring on the WangXian meter cuz I was starting to confuse myself: for every scene they’re in together or if they’re even thinking about each other, one 🐰 is automatically given; one scene can earn up to 5 🐰, depending on the intensity of their interaction or thoughts of each other. And I’m gonna separate each individual scene with “+”. I didn’t mean for the grading to be an exact science but I think making it less arbitrary is definitely better…at least for my poor dumb brain)
I have a couple of favorite WangXian scenes from this episode, the one above is the first of them. When Wei Ying defends Lan Zhan from Jiang Cheng, I love how the camera then lingers deliberately on Lan Zhan’s reaction for just a second more; I swear if Lan Zhan was the blushing type, that would’ve been the moment for him to turn red like a tomato. That reassuring smile Wei Ying flashes at him could probably melt all the glaciers in the world and drown our planet, how can any mere human being resist that? That small beam of absolute sunshine had to have made Lan Zhan’s knees go just a little weak and his stomach do a tiny flip flop. It’s moments like this that make me marvel all over again at how perfectly cast Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo are in their roles: XZ with his dazzling megawatt smile and WYB with his beautifully nuanced stoicism are truly Wei Ying and Lan Zhan come to life. Even though I was already attached to their performances by this point, I wasn’t truly able to appreciate just how great and perfect they were as the embodiment of their characters until after I read the novel, and now I’m just in awe all the time as I watch them on screen.  
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Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s little yin metals expedition is really the gift that keeps on giving: despite having to deal with a few (lovable) third wheelers hanging around them, they were still able to further strengthen their bond. I think this is clearly as evident by simple little moments like how often they looked at each other for affirmation. What’s amazing about that is Lan Zhan basically went from refusing to spare Wei Ying a glance even when he was outright clamoring for attention to constantly training his eyes on Wei Ying at every turn. I really can’t get over how effectively Team CQL was able to show the progression in their relationship and Lan Zhan’s feelings towards Wei Ying by just showing these minor differences in the way they interact from before. Watching the change in Lan Zhan is of course the most fascinating aspect of this early part of their relationship because you can track how he’s clearly being overcome by the force of nature that is Wei Ying. I especially enjoy seeing the way he gets perturbed and maybe even jealous by the intimate way Wei Ying interacts with others. Take this moment when Wei Ying is offering protection to Nie Huaisang:
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The way Lan Zhan’s eyes focused on the way Wei Ying was holding onto NHS’ arm and that resulting sour look on his face really says it all. And then, shortly after when they left the cave, as Wei Ying was trying to assure NHS, Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing that they were protected in the magical net he created, I actually guffawed when Lan Zhan could be seen just walking off behind him, as if he’d had enough since he just finished watching Wei Ying being rather familiar with Wen Qing.
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And then when they were in the forest trying to hunt down Wen Chao’s owl, it’s almost as if Lan Zhan’s disgruntled mood stayed with him since even though they were in close proximity, when Wei Ying started calling out his name, he refused to answer. First time I watched that scene I remember thinking, wtf’s wrong with Lan Zhan, why won’t he just respond to the poor guy who’s obviously worried he lost him in the fog? But now I feel it was a deliberate choice to indicate that Lan Zhan was annoyed at him.  
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Because Lan Zhan is not the type of person to be open and friendly with everyone, I really do feel now that it probably did bother him a lot that Wei Ying was a complete opposite to him in that sense, and as he watched Wei Ying carelessly be equally and almost selflessly kind to everyone around him, his frustration with that aspect of his personality gradually built up over time, culminating in what he later says to Wei Ying about Mian Mian while they’re in the Xuanwu cave. I can easily imagine Lan Zhan thinking, if he’s like this to everyone, does that make the way he treats me meaningless? It’s a really sobering thought especially from Lan Zhan’s point of view, but it also justifies why he still ran cold from time to time when dealing with Wei Ying because he was probably holding himself in check, constantly reminding himself that he’s just the same as anyone else in Wei Ying’s life, so he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Thinking about how much inner turmoil Lan Zhan put himself through even before Wei Ying’s death as he tried to grapple with his budding feelings for Wei Ying always makes me feel a little weepy because of how much my heart aches for him. It really makes me so grateful that at least he had Big Brother Xichen to talk to, which also makes me love big bro more for being so understanding and encouraging.  The alternative would have just been too unbearably sad.  
Ugh, and now I just made myself sad for no good reason. Seriously, on a daily basis, I actually get into a near weepy state for WangXian at least once when I think of all the suffering they had to go through before they finally got their happy ending. If MXTX-laozi’s other novels are going to do the same thing to me as MDZS/Untamed has, I probably need to start saving money to seek professional therapy once I’m done reading Heaven Official’s Blessing and Scum Villain (and I’m desperately trying to carve out time to read them soon).  
Anyway, back to this episode: I have a soft spot for seeing my OTP standing back to back in a scene since I think it’s a very effective and sweet way to convey their support and solidarity with each other, nothing says “we are in this together” than two people having each others’ backs, so seeing their stance in the forest really warmed my heart.
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I also loved that they eventually teamed up to fight against Wen Chao’s forces. It would not be the first time they fight together, but it is one of the few times that Wei Ying gets to do so with his sword. I think the next instance of that happening is the Xuanwu cave before it’s all over and he is only able to use his flute, so I really treasure moments like this now, especially since they have such pretty moves.  
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Every time Lan Zahn and Wei Ying fight with their swords it looks like they’re dancing. I love how Team CQL always makes sure to choreograph in ballet twirls into their fight sequences, even when it’s not quite necessary, such as this moment back in the cave when the two of them twirled away to get away from the ghost puppets:
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A BIT on the dramatic side, but hey, I’m not gonna complain when Lan Zhan and Wei Ying looks so damn good doing their twirls.  
WeiQing Watch 2019
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I said I was going to keep track of the WeiQing love story that Team CQL was going for way back before MDZS fans thankfully put a kibosh on their plans: here’s one such moment that I think can serve as evidence that they might have been cooking something up between Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing. It’s not just that Wei Ying was holding on to Wen Qing’s wrist for a longer time than necessary—Wei Ying’s a touchy-feely guy, he grabs on to everyone anyway—it’s Wen Qing’s reaction to what he did that gave me pause: she in turn holds on to her wrist in the exact spot where his hand was for a longer time than necessary. I’ve watched enough Chinese dramas to know that that is usually an indication that feelings are being stirred up from physical contact. Wei Ying’s awkwardness at realizing what he was doing was interesting too, it’s as if he suddenly remembered Wen Qing’s a girl. Since I do believe that Team CQL did end up keeping the aspect of Wen Qing’s characterization where she is in love with Wei Ying—there’s  no other logical explanation for some of Wen Qing’s reactions to Wei Ying otherwise—I think this moment might have served as the catalyst for the feelings she develops for him. It was already obvious that she was concerned for Wei Ying before this: she not only tipped off Jiang Cheng to his whereabouts but then she also joined in on the rescue herself, despite knowing what consequences she may face. I know her explanation for her generosity was because Wei Ying saved Wen Ning’s life and this was her way of paying back that favor, but it’s really a hollow excuse considering the larger predicament she was essentially putting herself, Wen Ning AND her clan in: she had to know she was endangering all her loved ones’ lives by helping Wei Ying.  I know she saved Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang as well but based on her later actions, I think at the end of the day, her concern really was more for Wei Ying. Much like Lan Zhan, Wen Qing was already starting to fall for Wei Ying, and really, who can blame her?
To be Continued in Part 2...(posted)
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arecomicsevengood · 4 years
Text
More Movies I Watched. Should I Just Join Letterboxd?
Is Letterboxd fun? Not really sure if anyone gets anything out of these posts being located here, but also not sure I have any desire to join a website I’m not sure anyone I’m friends with is on, don’t necessarily feel a yearning to be around more people with too many opinions, who are maybe trying to parlay their “expertise” into writing jobs.
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire (2020) dir. Celine Sciamma
I’m going to consider this a 2020 movie as that’s when its wide release was in the States; also, this movie’s great and if considered a 2020 movie is easily the frontrunner for best of the year. Well-shot enough I felt I was in good hands from the very first minutes, which feel vaguely reminiscent of The Piano (which I don’t remember super-well), this movie ends up also have a very intense relationship with music as well. This is a lesbian love story between a woman betrothed to be married to a man she’s never met and the painter who is making her portrait for the approval of said man. The painter is initially working on the portrait secretly, the film’s attention is tuned to the two leads’ furtive glances and studies of one another, the gaze intensely felt, but returned and mutual. Lots of great stuff, real delight taken in faces, the ability to change another’s expression by making them laugh. the power of music, the incommunicable aspects of subjective experience. I watched this director’s other movie, Girlhood, but don’t remember it, and this is a lot better. This is also a lot better than Blue Is The Warmest Color, where the only thing I remember is the long and graphic sex scene. This movie has no such scene. One of these actresses led the walkout when the French film industry gave Roman Polanski an award.
Summer Hours (2008) dir. Oliver Assayas
Just did an IMDB search and found out Assays cowrote a movie with Polanski a few years ago? That sucks. This one’s about an artist’s estate being sold off after a widow dies, as the kids need money. Plenty of nice bits about the subjective value of art and nostalgia. Assayas is not my favorite filmmaker by any means but he’s consistent enough. I guess Personal Shopper is my favorite of his?
Two Friends (1986) dir. Jane Campion
TV movie about two teenagers, told somewhat in reverse order for seemingly arbitrary reasons. Not great.
The Day Shall Come (2020) dir. Chris Morris
Beginning with like a series of “establishing shots” of Miami that eventually get to college kids partying is such a terrible way to begin a movie, really signals a degree of indifference to the language of film in favor of a a product of constant churn of content that “television” once served as shorthand for. Chris Morris comes from TV, of course, so I should know what I’m in for, and British comedy of a subversively-intentioned sort puts it in the wheelhouse of things I pay attention to anyway. That’s not to say I laughed at this thing, but I sort of observed it and its intentions — it never really wants you to be comfortable enough to laugh, and while the posture it takes to its black leads is sympathetic there’s still a feeling of anthropological indifference as part of its satirical thrust. Film comedies are meant to work in a theater because of the contagious properties of laughter, and when you lose that you end up with a thing that, even if I don’t want to subject it to “Hm, this seems kinda racist” thinkpieces that are the worst-case scenario, everything about the movie seems like the best case scenario is a reaction of “I see what you did there.”
Midnight Special (2016) dir. Jeff Nichols
Fits into the tradition of not-a-superhero-movie-but-basically tradition of Scanners and The Fury, but while those are basically the X-Men, this kid, kept from the sunlight because his dad think it will hurt him but really it’s good for him, is basically The Ray, of the 1990s Christopher Priest series I didn’t read consistently but liked a few issues of. The first half of this movie, spent speeding down streets at night, while some weird things happen, involving government agencies and a cult, is considerably better than the payoff, which is the child (a kid from Room and later, Good Boys) is an angel and is going to ascend to heaven. Part of it is so low-key and tense (but in a way where it feels like if it were on mute nothing would appear to be happening) and then the other part of it has these special effects that are fairly corny? So while the whole “indie guy makes a more mainstream movie” thing generates some interest, the idea of what constitutes a mainstream movie at this point in time (while also being a throwback in some ways to eighties Spielberg, or riding an It Follows/Stranger Things wave) means being forgettable.
Atlantic City (1980) dir. Louis Malle
This was a rewatch, which normally I avoid doing, but it turns out I had forgotten basically everything about this movie, besides vague memories of shots of stairwells, the sprawl of its plot, the roaming camera. That, still, is sort of the main thing to take away, because I love how the plot sort of swirls around this apartment building, and the streets of the city, the casino where Susan Sarandon works. She plays a woman whose husband left her for her sister, and they have rolled into the city with a large amount of cocaine. Burt Lancaster plays Sarandon’s neighbor, who lusts after her, but watches after another neighbor in the apartment, an old gangster’s ex-lover. Maybe I would suggest this as a good first Louis Malle movie to watch? Then you could watch Au Revoir Les Enfants, Murmur Of The Heart, Elevator To The Gallows, and My Dinner With Andre, and some of those are maybe better movies but this is arguably the most “accessible” in terms of its relationship to gangster/crime stuff while nonetheless feeling expansive and deeper than that. It relates to Burt Lancaster’s larger career but also has such a depth of feeling it’s not just a film history thing. Wallace Shawn has a cameo as a waiter also, it’s nice to see him.
Cat People (1982) dir. Paul Schrader
This movie’s a rewatch but I remember it being “watchable” but not really good, at least not nearly as good as the original. If memory serves, this has pretty much nothing in common with the original, but there’s a scene in the original that’s very memorable that’s reprised here. There’s a lot of gratuitous nudity in this one, and it even ends with a scene that seems perverse enough it should be memorable- Where Nastassja Kinski’s limbs are tied to a bed in a bit of bondage before she has sex and gets turned into a panther, so she can safely be put into zoo custody, but I didn’t remember at all on account of it feeling more perfunctory than indelible. Also I thought there was a scene where you see a naked man climb out of a cage at the zoo but maybe that’s in another movie too. Remember when Paul Schrader made a facebook post asking whose were the best tits in the history of art?
Affliction (1997) dir. Paul Schrader
When there was a little featurette documentary on Criterion Channel where Alex Ross Perry interviewed Schrader, Schrader cited Affliction as one of his best movies. Takes place in a snowy landscape reminiscent of Fargo and A Simple Plan, the vision of small-town life feels slightly familiar from Twin Peaks too — all of these things feel “nineties” in a way. About the cycle of domestic violence being passed on from fathers to sons. Stars Nick Nolte, with Willem Dafoe as his younger brother, who narrates intermittently. Mary Beth Hurt plays Nolte’s ex-wife, Sissy Spacek plays his current lover. James Coburn plays the abusive father but I kept thinking it was Rip Torn.
Rancho Notorious (1952) dir. Fritz Lang
Another solid Fritz Lang movie, that I believe was a favorite of the French new wave filmmakers? (Who didn’t like his German stuff for some bullshit reason.) This one’s a western. A man’s fiancee gets murdered, and he tries t to track down the guy who did it, in search of revenge. There’s a recurring bit of a song narrating his desire for revenge that’s pretty bad. It turns out there’s a large ranch, run by Marlene Dietrich, where criminals can hide out if they don’t ask questions of one another and give her a share of their haul. He forms alliances, does some crimes, gets his revenge, there’s some great technicolor shots of landscapes, it’s unclear how real his feelings are for Marlene Dietrich or if they’re partly put on to win her affections, I don’t think Dietrich is that appealing personally. The thing that makes this movie cool or interesting (and maybe makes it feel particularly American, but seen from an outsider’s perspective) is this sense of bonhomie that is maybe just a total front for long-standing resentment, with love as a conditional thing.
Slightly French (1949) dir. Douglas Sirk
I found this one pretty watchable. A rough-around-the-edges fairground actress is recruited to play a French ingenue in the press as part of a long play for a director to get his job back with a studio he was fired from after alienating the original lead actress and everyone above him. The director basically only cares about making movies, and is sort of a psychopath, but she falls in love with him. The director’s sister, who warns that she also has no feelings, ends up being paired off with the producer who competes for the star’s affection for a while. Written by a woman, and feels very psychologically insightful and unjudgmental about women’s tendency or willingness to fall in love with people who treat them poorly, and to allow for the movie/genre expectations to respect that choice as the right one.
A Scandal In Paris (1946) dir. Douglas Sirk
Apparently Sirk considered this his best movie. It’s before his melodrama period, and is based on a memoir, so there’s a bit of a biopic quality to it, though it does try to be fairly concise and well-structured. About a criminal who solves a crime he committed in order to become chief of police, ostensibly to become an even bigger criminal who pulls off a huge robbery, who then goes straight instead. The criminal is also a casanova type, who seduces a series of women and makes them fall in love with him and forgive him his crimes. I would probably have liked this movie more if it was a stylized seventies thing and/or liked the actors better.
Story Of A Cheat (1936) dir. Sacha Guitry
This movie’s wild! One of the best credit sequences I’ve ever seen, establishing a pattern that the whole thing will be told mostly via narration, and this narration goes on to tell so much of the story that the visual storytelling almost seems redundant, or illustrative of the text, in a way I’d never seen in a movie. It’s structured as a man writing his memoirs, and is more literal about that structure than we normally see. But then there are parts where his writing gets interrupted and these scenes use dialogue and employ elision to discreetly set up punchlines… Really cool. Criterion’s website says this was an influence on Orson Welles, and maybe they mean F For Fake?
The Immortal Story (1968) dir. Orson Welles
I hadn’t seen this one, despite being an Orson Welles fanatic, I guess because most people would not consider it a feature film, as it’s under an hour long, and made for French television. It’s not great, kind of feels like a long short film. Welles plays an old rich man who hates the existence of fiction so much he tries to make a story that’s basically a Penthouse letter become true, casting Jeanne Moreau in the role of the woman and a much younger man as the dude who has sex with her. Based on a story by Isak Dinesen, which I’m just learning now was the pen name of a woman.
If You Could Only Cook (1935) dir. William Selter
So I kept on watching Jean Arthur movies, binging them before they left Criterion Channel at the end of June. You would expect them to blend together, and maybe they will in time but having just watched this one it’s great. Totally absurd premise becomes legit funny. The master chef from History Is Made At Night here plays an Italian gangster. The two movies would be a pretty solid double feature, as both feature pretty involved, absurd plots, based around love stories, but also featuring this weird comedic element. This one features Jean Arthur as a down-on-her-luck woman who strikes up a conversation with a guy on a park bench, convincing him they should get a job together working as a butler and cook team. He is secretly rich, and gets lessons in being a butler from his butler, and falls in love with her, a week before he is scheduled to get married to a rich woman he doesn’t actually care about. This movie is just over seventy minutes long. I am pretty unfamiliar with the screwball comedy genre and really wonder how they play with a different lead actress.
The More The Merrier (1943) dir. George Stevens
This one’s great too. Super comedic, with sort of intricately choreographed visual gags, but then the romance culminates in a scene that’s wildly horny, bordering on the pornographic despite the absence of any nudity. That’s a seduction shot in close up, where a sort of oblivious and distracted conversation occurs absentmindedly as kisses move from hand to neck. Jean Arthur rents a room to a domineering older dude (Charles Coburn, the guy from The Devil And Miss Jones, who’s funnier here) who then rents half of his room to a man he thinks would be a good for her. Feels like a big part of the comedy in these is people being absolute nightmares who force other people into going along with things they absolutely hate, and as much as I hate the idea of being someone who can’t handle an old comedy because of my modern cultural mores, such scenes are pretty nerve-wracking to me. Still, there’s something to the storytelling in this, how the initial gags build on themselves when it’s just the two of them, then the introduction of the second man sort of continues the sort of jokes that were already being made, how the comedy sort of snowballs but then takes the shape of this very real romance.
The Impatient Years (1944) dir. Irving Cummings
This was originally conceived as a quasi-sequel to The More The Merrier. It is a weird one, with a vaguely comedic premise it takes a pretty emotionally intense first act to set up. The first half hour has these long dialogues filled with tension of people not really being able to communicate. It’s written by a woman and you can really tell, holy shit, it’s closely observed. But the whole premise is fucked! Begins with a court hearing for a divorce. Jean Arthur has been hit by her husband, and her father (Charles Coburn again) who witnessed it says he can’t recommend a divorce, because then the judge would have to give a divorce to all the couples who got married too quick before the man shipped off to war. A flashback structure shows him, freshly home, smoking cigarettes above the crib of the child he’s never seen before and pretty irritable. The father argues the issue is the married couple has forgotten while they’ve fallen in love. Coburn basically sucks too- he’s in all these movies as this railroading paternalistic figure, and apparently was in his real life a white supremacist? And while The Devil And Miss Jones shows him learning to not be a piece of shit, this movie basically takes his side and argues for him being right. The judge agrees with this plan that they should spend four days retracing the steps of when they first met, before he shipped off to work. And it works, they fall back in love in the movie’s second half. But basically Jean Arthur’s whole behavior at the beginning of the movie is predicated on her having the responsibilities of a mother? And the movie just sort of argues that she’s got to learn to be a wife too, and she agrees, pitching it as this sort of romantic thing, but the actual central cause of tension is never resolved. So this movie is flawed and kinda nonsensical, but it’s interesting, partly because the beginning is like Bergman-level brutal before the contortions of a plot push it into this unnatural light comedy shape.
Arizona (1940) dir. Wesley Ruggles
This one has Jean Arthur as the female lead, opposite William Holden, but is more notable for its scope as a Western. A pretty good example of the genre being about society in microcosm, being forged from this conflict between the wild and domestic spheres. Jean Arthur both brings this semi-feminist sense of freedom to all of her roles, and she also built up a body of work of populist politics and class consciousness. This one has her as a rugged individualist frontierswoman, who runs a series of businesses as a way to make more money and accrue wealth, which ends up being a good vehicle, from a storytelling perspective, to increase the scale of action consistently. The villain runs a series of scams/conspiracies to win a profit via dishonest means. This culminates with a wedding where the man leaves his bride immediately afterwards to murder the person who’s been trying to take over her property. Probably the best western I’ve seen where the threat of Native American violence is a major plot point. It does lack the sense of atmosphere and landscape I value in a western, favoring a more storytelling more focused on plot and characters. Ends with a scene where a dude gets married and then immediately leaves to go kill someone waiting in a bar for him. (I should try to track down the George Stevens western Shane, that also features Jean Arthur.)
Whirlpool (1934) dir. Roy William Neill
This isn’t as top shelf as the other Jean Arthur movies but it’s pretty good. A man goes to prison, fakes his own death for the sake of his wife so she’ll move on. Jean Arthur plays the daughter, who meets him once he gets out, but needs to keep him a secret from her mother, who has remarried but would probably wreck her life for the other man’s sake. This is a pretty weird movie, both structurally, and because the father-daughter relationship feels quasi-incestuous: She abandons dates with her fiancee to spend time with her father, etc. The movie handles it semi-innocently, but I guess I had just been hearing about how when things like this happen in real life, and adult children meet their parents for the first time as adults, there often is an irresistible desire between them. So the movie kind of feels like it’s basically about something super-fucked-up but is trying to depict it as innocent, but also just the raw emotion Jean Arthur displays as she cries when they meet for the first time is really intense! She doesn’t even show up until like 1/3 of the way through the movie but she gives it such emotional weight.
Party Wire (1935) dir. Erle Kenton
This movie’s charming and watchable but yeah not one of the better ones. It’s about a pretty interesting thing- In small towns in this era basically cheaper for there to be a telephone line everyone can listen in on. This ends up being a movie about small town gossip and resentment, where the villains are old women with too much time on their hands. It’s also about Jean Arthur being a wildly charming “real” person who wins the heart of a rich man who every woman is after, so while she’s good in the part there’s an element of formula executed better elsewhere. Here she has a father who’s drunk all the time, his alcoholism is a big running gag that gets a little exhausted. Also apparently there’s an app now that’s basically a party wire?
The Whole Town’s Talking (1935) dir. John Ford
Felt pretty ambivalent about this one too, which is more of an Edward G Robinson vehicle. This is meant to be a comedy, but I don’t really think the jokes come off that well, and the sense of reversals feels a little pat. Realized my best friend from high school looks sorta like Edward G Robinson now and worked out a way to remake it starring him. The Robinson version is about a guy who works as a clerk in an office, writes on the side, but learns he is the doppelganger of a killer gangster who just escaped from prison, who’s played by Robinson as well. This leads to his worldly coworker he has a crush on developing an interest in him, but also a lot of cases of mistaken identity with the police, who give him a note saying that while he looks like the person they’re trying to arrest, they’re not the same guy. The gangster then reads about this in the news and breaks into his apartment to get this “passport” from him. The remake I envision plays off of the fact that people are no longer famous for doing crimes enough to attract the attentions of a savvy young woman. But what if it was some dumb Youtube prankster, who is constantly committing crimes, that has the police after him? And then it’s basically the same movie.
Public Hero No. 1 (1935) dir. J. Walter Rubin
More of a heavy-duty crime thing, about the head of a gang busting out of prison, reuniting with his gang to do crimes, not knowing the cellmate he broke out of prison with is an undercover cop. Jean Arthur ends up caught in the middle, falling in love with the cop (not knowing he’s a cop) while being the sister of the criminal she hopes goes straight. She enlivens the movie quite a bit but it’s a  familiar enough plot to still come up a little bit short. Would maybe benefit from more atmosphere in the crime bits and less comedy bits about an alcoholic doctor slowing it down.
You Can’t Take It With You (1938), Mr. Smith Goes To Washington (1939) dir. Frank Capra
Watched these for Jean Arthur, though they are classics for being Frank Capra movies, Jimmy Stewart movies, and sort of archetypal in their depiction of sincerity and the opposition of the rich and powerful. So that is to say that while my favorite movies I’ve watched recently have felt genre-less, or like they participate in every genre, these feel far more like you know where they’re going pretty much from the start: In the case of Mr. Smith Goes To Washington that’s partly because of things like there being an episode of The Simpsons that parodies/reuses it.
Mr. Deeds Goes To Town (1936) dir. Frank Capra
Also has Jean Arthur as the female lead, here playing opposite Gary Cooper. When they remade this as an Adam Sandler vehicle, Winona Ryder took the Jean Arthur role. Gary Cooper inherits money, comes to the big city, everyone wants the money, Jean Arthur writes news articles mocking him as a rube while slowly falling in love with his sincerity. In the end his decision to give the money to the poor outrages everyone in power and they try to argue he’s not mentally fit. All these Frank Capra movies are longer than the other Jean Arthur movies, (two hours, as opposed to an hour and a half) and also are not really focused on her, though she’s the best part of them.
Ball Of Fire (1941) dir. Howard Hawks
Billy Wilder cowrites this, and it’s maybe his best comedic script? Lot of good jokes in this, feel like this would’ve blown people away in 1941. Gary Cooper plays a naive nerd grammarian who in the course of realizing he needs cover modern slang for his encyclopedia runs into Barbara Stanwyck, as a gangster’s moll, hilarity ensues, they fall in love, both leads are great, supporting cast is big and funny, Gary Cooper in Mr. Deeds plays a somewhat naive hayseed, the character here is similarly out of his element but it’s because he’s a big nerd, which is a lot funnier. Stanwyck’s world-weariness giving way to affection for a bunch of old people while continuing to use language they don’t understand and sort of run all over them as they fall over here is a great bit. Really well-written, there’s a Billy Wilder movie starring Jean Arthur (A Foreign Affair, from 1948) I haven’t seen but would like to track down. Sort of fascinating preoccupation with gangsters in these movies, but also positing innocence as a virtue, but in a way that runs counter to “virgin/whore” reductionism. I guess a lot of this comes about because it precedes the post-war mass migration of white people to the suburbs? Organized crime was a big part of people’s lives. I hadn’t seen any Howard Hawks movies until recently I think? Unless I saw one of his westerns or screwball comedies in college. He’s good!
The Sniper (1952) dir. Edward Dmytrk
This one’s interesting in terms of feeling very ahead of its time but also like it would never be made now. About a dude whose misogyny causes him to shoot women with a sniper rifle, the same rifle that apparently any ex-soldier would carry. Probably a pretty tough and upsetting watch, as it’s just about a dude being insane, hoping the police arrest him, and him having interactions with women where he very quickly becomes upset when they realize he’s weird, so he follows them with a gun. Director was blacklisted, the only real overt political sentiment is “get perverts and people who assault women serious mental health care after their first offense.”
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My thoughts on Dark Forest
First, I like the Warrior Cats books. I think it is the modern Ginga Nagareboshi Gin/Silver Fang. An animal story with epic fights and gore that has a wider world to explore than the story delves into.
However, I dislike how bland the ‘bad guys’ were and how thoughtless their lore was.
First, just the basic lack of motives. Brokenstar trained and put underage kits in danger because? Child soldiers in real life serve as both a psychological and a physical factor. You don’t want to harm a child, but that brainwashed child wants to kill you. Brokenstar’s training alone took a lot of his forces out. Nevermind that cats sure as heck don’t seem to mind killing a kit in Warriors.
But Brokenstar isn’t my main issue in Warriors, Tigerstar is. Aside from him getting to be a -star in the first place, he wanted to conquer all clans. Because? Other than power hungriness, he has only his hate for those who are outsiders or half-clan. Fair enough.
Tigerstar in the first arc is no problem. Tigerstar in the following stories? He very much is.
To explain why I have such strong dislike of the Dark Forest, let me explain a related trope of fiction to it. When you have hell ravage the Earth how it may, but heaven doesn’t help the living outside hints and stat buffs. When the very force of good in the setting trusts people to defeat the forces of evil, rather than fighting them themselves. It creates a sense of weakness for the ‘good’ faction. It is especially bad if Satan itself pops up and tries to convert/harm people, but God trusts that angels or mere mortals can stop it.
Basically, the evil faction has great leeway while the good faction watches from the sidelines. They often give the motive for this as not wanting to get involved with the living or influencing the lives of mortals. The only problem to this is, that the evil faction has none of that care and they often almost revel in their freedom.
Inaction is a choice and when that choice means you let people suffer, it is not a noble one.
Add to this the fact that The Place With No Stars used to be a lonely place where you had no prey and couldn’t meet other cats no matter how hard you tried. Or that the cats who end up there and not Starclan seem arbitrary. Why wasn’t Ashfur in the Dark Forest, when Darkstripe is? Why was Hawkfrost there and not Yellowfang or Bluestar?
The writing is very inconsistent on what makes an evil enough cat, flooding the forest with past antagonists for the sake of it. That isn’t a good world-building, not giving us a sense of what sins are worth hell and what is not. Even the Warrior Code seems irrelevant, as many breakers of it or those who reject it still end up in Starclan.
Also, consider that Scourge, a very good candidate to be in the Dark Forest, isn’t there because he didn’t believe in it. His soul just died with him. Why couldn’t this be the fate of the evil cats in general? Just because they -thought- they were following Starclan, doesn’t mean they actually did.
All of this is compounded by Tigerstar being the leader of the Dark Forest crew. While his stories possibly helped with it, there could still be other more interesting ancient evil cats to lead the group. Tigerstar might be a manipulator and a brute, but he has no long term goal outside killing Firestar or destroying the Code. These are very surface-level goals for someone who rose to lead the entire Dark Forest. Not helped by the reality that the Code is what keeps cats coming to the Dark Forest.
Having someone more ancient and far darker than Broken or Tiger start as the Dark Forest leader would have worked better. Then we see Tigerstar get corrupted into a worse thing than he was in life and take over. Since, if you wish to depict a form of hell, you need to consider how it will affect the soul of the cat.
Characters like Hawkfrost or Darkstripe who are just evil because of their association with Tigerstar also are rather bland. Darkstripe especially could have been expanded on more, he literally ended up in hell because he was loyal to the cat he loved. What does ending up in literal cat hell for his loyalty alone make him feel? Is he angry at Starclan for judging him evil for following his leader?
Instead of looking at the cats stuck in cat hell, the story instead glosses over all that was established to make these cats train clan cats. To destroy what created them in the first place.
To use another Christian trope as an example, the Dark Forest is hell as a threat and not as a punitive place. The dead cats there aren’t suffering under its forces, they are running it. While the concept of there being no demons or angels to run the place might work, here it is almost hand waved away for further plots. Instead of running into tortured souls who scream and plead for your aid, the Dark Forest cats can influence the living however they want to.
One of the things that makes this harder to buy, is also that we don’t know the rules how the Dark Forest cats function and who might be in danger of becoming one. It cannot be just ‘train in the Dark Forest’, because then corrupting cats to Dark Forest is dirt easy. Just get them to train in the Dark Forest and that’s it. It cannot be the threat of murder, because Ashfur did try to kill Firestar, Squirrelflight and the trio and Hollyleaf killed him. It cannot be the rejection of the Warrior Code, because Bluestar and Pinestar aren’t there.
Evil is a nebulous term, especially in a setting where the characters are -not- meant to be humans. While Brokenstar, Tigerstar and Mapleshade certainly were dark and cruel enough to deserve hell, none of their actions were stated as the reason.
Then there is the issue of Thistleclaw. Now, I have to be honest, if we ignore Spottedleaf's Heart, I think Thistleclaw in Starclan would have made more sense. Ashfur being in cat heaven is bad because he schemed and very much rejected his clan for selfish reasons. Thistleclaw for me seemed much more of a darker creature that still lived under the Warrior Code. Rather than the Dark Forest being literally the place where villains just go to, it would have been more interesting to see more variety in cats who ended up in damnation versus paradise.
Or, rather, showcase with clearer internal rules why Starclan is not all good and why Dark Forest can be an unfair fate for a noble cat. Currently, Starclan and the Dark Forest function as representations of heaven and hell as I have noted earlier in this article. This makes the shades of gray world of Warrior Cats be in conflict with its afterlife.
If we are going to stick with both Starclan and Dark Forest, I think a better method would be to showcase how a cat who does wrong by the code but right by the clan is destined for the Dark Forest and accepts it grimly. While a cat who is loyal to the code but less to their clan gets to join their warrior ancestors. In a lot of ways, focusing on how fate doesn't mean that a cat cannot do good while alive.
In a lot of ways, I feel the Dark Forest made the setting of Warriors worse. By its inclusion as an opposing force to Starclan, the setting turned from an animistic ancestor worshipping culture into a pseudo-Christian one.
I hope this essay has been informative if nothing else. Please feel free to leave comments or arguments against it in my askbox.
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eldritchsurveys · 4 years
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637.
Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? >> You know, it’s funny -- I’m more likely to make snap judgements about atheists than Christians. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met my fair share of annoying proselytisers and hateful fundamentalists, have had “exorcisms” performed on me, the whole nine. I am definitely wary of Christianity as an institution, with good reason. But I’m really tired of the superiority complex that atheism seems to encourage (again, just like with Christians, not all atheists are like this -- but enough are). The fact that I dare to interpret my life and my reality in a non-materialist, often-arcane fashion immediately puts me at odds with a lot of atheists because their first thought about anything other than strict materialism is “only idiots believe that”, and I’m not going to let some other equally-in-the-dark human being treat me like an idiot because of something this personal (and this arbitrary!). Somehow, Christians telling me I’m going to hell because I listen to death metal or masturbate or whatever is less deeply irritating to me than that.
Do you ever brush your teeth in the shower? >> No. I can see why you would, though.
Has your printer ever stopped working at the last minute and you had a paper due the next day? What did you do? >> ---
Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? >> It’s more like... I don’t feel like dealing with other people’s baggage, you know? Their inflexibility of mind, or baked-in prejudices, or superiority/inferiority complexes, or whatever. It’s really not worth it all the time. I could be putting my energy to better use than fielding off other people’s contempt. So I wouldn’t say my reticence is fear-based as much as it’s... boredom-based. lmao
Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? >> Yawn.
Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? >> No.
Have you ever tried sucrets? >> I don’t think so.
Would you date someone that smokes? >> I don’t date, but in general being a smoker isn’t something that puts me off a person. Being rude about smoking and not accepting that not everyone wants to breathe in their secondhand cancer air would, though. And if you smoke cigars, no thanks. Cigarette smoke is bad enough but cigar smoke is twice as bad.
What about drinks? >> Again, it’s not the act of drinking that puts me off a person, it’s to what extent their drinking affects their life and the lives of those around them.
Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? >> I don’t think so. I mean, maybe one or two people depending on their tolerance? But not the whole damn party.
Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? >> Yes.
Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? >> No, the reason numbers tend to disappear off surveys when I take them is because when I paste the survey into this text box, tumblr automatically formats it like a numbered list, and when I unformat it the numbers go with it.
Person you like shows up at your house: you … >> ---
Last person you talked on the phone with? >> ---
Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? >> ---
Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? >> No.
Will tomorrow be better than today? >> I mean, today’s going to be pretty good. I’m going to play video games for hours to make up for the fact that I couldn’t all weekend.
What do you hear right now? >> Nothing.
What was the last thing to go into your mouth? >> Water, I think.
Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? >> I operate under the assumption that most people won’t care whether I’m upset with them or not, so I don’t bother informing them. That might be a maladaptive way of thinking, but so far I haven’t had much cause to question the notion, either.
Honestly, how is your heart lately? >> Beating.
Do you miss anyone? >> No.
Are you waiting for a phone call? >> No.
If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? >> I wouldn’t say anything. That’s their business, not mine.
What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? >> Hope that that person doesn’t go through what I went through. And if they do, hope that they have the presence of mind to leave sooner rather than later.
What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? >> First of all, who is doing that...
What do you usually do right when you wake up? >> Look at my phone to see what time it is.
Are you looking forward to anything? >> Yeah, playing WoW.
How late did you stay up last night? >> I got home at around a quarter past eleven, so I think I got to sleep shortly after midnight.
Do you truly hate anyone? >> No.
Would you ever get a tattoo? >> Of course.
In the past forty-eight hours, have you hung out with a girl? >> I hung out with a lot of people on Sunday.
Were you happy when you woke up today? >> Yes, very happy to be back in my warm comfortable bed and not in that janky loud motel.
If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? >> I mean, it’s not going to change anything on my end, but I wouldn’t act weird about it if someone told me.
Would you rather go back a week or go forward? >> ---
Would you ever smile at a stranger? >> I’ve done so.
Who was the last person to text you? >> Sparrow.
What are you doing today? >> Playing video games, vegging out. Just enjoying being home.
Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? >> Not right now.
Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? >> Yeah, on purpose.
Have you ever been so bored that you started drooling on yourself? >> What...
Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? >> Not right away, but soon enough after.
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? >> ---
Want to get smashed tonight? >> Nah, I’m good.
What time are you getting up tomorrow? >> I don’t know, whatever time I wake up.
Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? >> Like, throughout my entire life? Some were fine, some were mistakes, some don’t even register in my memory anymore.
Think back to last June; were you single? >> No.
Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? >> Probably. That’s my only method of consolation -- distraction.
Describe how you feel right now. >> Neutral.
Would you date someone three years older than you? >> ---
Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? >> In the morning.
Do you think more about the past, present, or future? >> The present.
Are you okay with the life you live? >> Sure.
Could you handle living with the last person you texted? >> I do live with the last person I texted.
Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? >> Everything I read is purely for my own interest/delight.
Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? >> The only “goal” I ever set is that Goodreads reading challenge, lmao. But even that’s just for fun -- if I don’t read 50 books in a year, it’s not like I consider myself a failure or something. Quantity doesn’t even mean anything. It’s just something to keep track of, I guess. (Also, when I do those end-of-year book surveys, it’s easier to just go look at my challenge because then I can see at a glance what books I read that year.)
If you could go forward in time and see your life 5 years from now, what would you hope to see? >> ---
Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? >> There’s one down the road from me, like a 10-minute walk. Family Video just refuses to go down without a fight, I guess. They jumped on the CBD bandwagon really fast, too -- revenue is revenue, I guess, lmao.
What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? >> When I realised I’d left my laptop and phone chargers in the motel room. *facepalm* Thank god for Amazon one-day shipping.
Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush/es assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? >> There were a lot of attractive people at Elle’s wedding.
When looking for something to watch on TV do you tend to pick shows you know you like, or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? >> Either. Just depends on what I’m in the mood for.
Have you ever been ditched by someone only to find them out and about with someone else? >> No.
How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? >> ---
What is the last song you sang out loud? >> I don’t remember.
Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? >> ---
Have you ever been fired from a job? >> No.
What do people tell you your voice sounds like? >> I don’t recall the last time anyone commented on my voice at all.
What financial class are you? >> Poverty class.
What poster is hanging closest to you? >> It’s not a poster, it’s an art print. It’s called “Heimdall” and that’s basically what it is, I guess. But very, very intricate and multilayered. One of those “stare at it for five hours and still see new things” kind of artwork.
What time did you go to bed last night? >> Sometime after midnight.
Do you watch any reality shows? >> Not regularly.
Are you more comfortable with men or women? >> ---
Do you think you’re fat? >> Sometimes I do. It’s all just societal bullshit, though, because I’m technically not fat (and it really shouldn’t even be a big deal if I was).
Have you ever borrowed money from someone and never repaid them? >> Probably.
Do you have a pet cat? >> Yeah.
What is worse: physical or emotional pain? >> I’m not going to rank one as “worse” than the other. Pain is pain.
If you had to get up at 6 AM tomorrow morning, would it be painful? >> Probably. It’s not my normal getting-up time.
How is your hair? >> Fine.
Who was the last person who called you? >> ---
How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? >> Not long, because I don’t go to bed until I feel good and sleepy.
How many people have you had strong feelings for in the year of 2012? >> You know what I had strong feelings for in 2012? Drugs.
What are you doing for your next birthday? >> I have no idea. Probably going to Chicago like usual, although the idea of going to Canada is still on the table if we can get passports by that time.
Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? >> Not unless it was explicitly understood that I am aromantic and this is a platonic outing.
Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? >> Sometimes that narrative is fun to entertain.
Last movie you watched? >> The Nightingale.
Who were you with? >> Nobody.
Who came over last? >> ---
Have you ever wanted to be a ballet dancer? >> No.
Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? >> I do not.
Favourite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. >> ---
Skullcandy headphones, yay or nay? >> Yeah, I like them.
Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? >> No.
Do you love when people remember little things about you? >> Sure, it means people actually paid attention to me and cared enough to remember, which goes against some of my less helpful self-talk.
Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? >> No.
How many phones have you gone through? >> Too many.
Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? >> No.
Do you think your future will be a good one? >> ---
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morshtalon · 5 years
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Shin Megami Tensei
(Definitely part 3 of a series of posts on the entire franchise)
For the end of MegaTen II, Atlus pulled out all the stops in terms of who you'd meet and what their importance to the lore was. While the ending arguably did leave some room for further escalation, by choosing to continue the story as it was, they'd be agreeing to keep being derivative works in relation to the books that originated their backstory. Sure, it was hardly the case anymore, what with the extreme departures MegaTen II took from the novels, but still. I guess the relative corner the writers got themselves backed into, combined with the clamor to have a more independent franchise on their hands, prompted them to scrap their established continuity and kick off a new one of their own. Whatever the real case was, it was definitely a smart choice, and thus was born Shin Megami Tensei, a way for them to keep their profitable series going. Also probably a much better game than a MegaTen III would have been.
Anyway, with a new continuity, possibilities were endless. They could better retread grounds they had already covered in the previous two games (well, really just MTII, since the first one barely even had anything going on), and expand upon ongoing themes while not having to worry about the usual expectation for a sequel in terms of magnitude and impact. Given that, it's unsurprising that, in comparison to MTII, this game dials things down a notch, relegating most of the more classical power fantasy stuff to the third act and preferring to engage in more character-driven events while leading up to it. None of the final enemies in SMT are as powerful as the ones in MTI and II (in story terms, actual battle stats notwithstanding) and the influence of cosmic forces that would have been enemies fought directly in the titles so far takes on a distant, more psychological approach (for the most part), unable to be challenged by the player. This helps build them as respectable overarching threats, and keeps the setting more subdued and the stakes higher, since it feels like characters are acting under the banner of things so powerful the player shouldn't even think themselves able to scratch them. It's good not to stat things sometimes, and it's quite impressive that they exercised this restraint way back in 1992.
For the demons that ARE fought, though, the artists really put their all into it this time. Even compared to games in the series's near future, I think this is the best looking they would be for a while. I mean, sure, Majin Tensei later on would have more detailed graphics, but I feel the art itself was worse there, with some weird proportions and a lot of palette swaps, while this game keeps things more consistently good overall.
Naturally, one longstanding tradition of the franchise introduced in SMT was the philosophical axis of Law vs. Chaos and the branching story that allowed the player to sit in any one point of the spectrum, with a modified final act depending on your decisions up to a certain point and where in the axis they would leave you once this point is reached. This system was partly a logical progression of the two endings from MTII and partly a way to integrate gameplay significance into what was already the grand point of SMT's storyline. While a good idea on paper and certainly innovative for its time and context, the warring faction-based story meant that as far as the plot is concerned, Law vs. Chaos pertains more to which of the factions you're appeasing with your decisions rather than any particularly lawful or chaotic behavior. There are some things that shift your alignment that have to do with being lawful or chaotic, but those lie mostly outside of the plot, in small actions that only serve to bring things one way or the other on infinitesimal increments and are meant more as an extra level of thought put into the system to label certain actions that were always there. The parallelisms between one faction and the other (i.e. temples that are identical in functionality; quests that consist of killing the other faction's quest-giver or vice-versa), together with certain easily exploitable ways to shift the alignment variable any way you want (so that you can play the game being entirely chaotic up to the crucial point where your alignment is locked, then right before that, exploit the mechanics to bring yourself to Law without having done anything lawful throughout the rest of the game), make the whole alignment system feel arbitrary, or at least the actual coded-in gameplay layer of it. I feel like maybe having only the unrepeatable story decisions actually affect alignment could help mitigate this somewhat. Then again, as I said, the story stuff doesn't feel much like the player being lawful or chaotic, so... I don't know.
Regardless of which path you take, you are going to get into a lot of fights. The game plays basically exactly like MTII, with an overhead top-down overworld and first-person dungeon crawling once you enter an area. This time around, very few areas are safe from enemy encounters, which makes sense since you're mostly just walking around Tokyo and a lot of first-person areas are just sections of the city that are populated (and besides, all of Tokyo is under threat from the demons). It made me realize that it's actually the typical RPG that opts to be nonsensical about the no-monsters-in-towns rule, but I'd be damned if that's not a smart choice on the part of the typical RPG. There are so many random encounters in this game, it's a common occurence for you to get several 1-step fights in a row. When I play an RPG, there's usually a point where I get really bored of always fighting enemies, then I finally escape the dungeon I'm in or go into a town and it's a big relief, like I can finally walk around and talk to people without having to stop dead in my tracks to fight the same enemy I already proved I can beat five hundred times before. Not so much in this game, and you'll definitely be crying out for an Estoma or a Fuma Bell most of the time. If you even know these two things act like repels in Pokémon and realize how useful they are.
If you don't know, however, you're going to need a lot of patience, because once again the game is very easy. Aside from, once again, a difficult earlygame, especially if you didn't put the right stat points into your protagonist (read: vitality and speed), the same basic problems from the previous two games' core concept of walking around and fighting dudes can be found here, but this time guns have ammo. Ammo doesn't actually count how many bullets you have left, it's just an extra thing you can equip that gives your gun attack an extra property such as more damage or a status effect. Thing is, status effects have an absurdly high hit rate in this game, work on most bosses, and there's a type of ammo that causes the "enthralled" status effect, which makes the target attack their own allies. Once you've got your hands on it, the game has been effectively turned into an interactive movie, even easier than the NES ones. Even without it, magic always seems to go before physical attacks, and both lightning and ice spells can stop an enemy for the current turn, so you'll likely always find a way to trivialize encounters within your disposal if you're just playing the game normally, even if you didn't realize it. With good speed, lightning or ice spells at your disposal and some status effect ammo, nothing will ever be able to stop you, no matter how hard they try. Once again, it's a preparations game, and that auto-battle button will get an intense workout this time around. I actually cleared the entire final dungeon under the effect of consecutive Fuma Bells, because of the combined effect a high encounter rate and the knowledge that the bosses could not stop me had on my brain. It's all about knowing which things are actually useful and which aren't, so it's actually just about struggling until the point you figure it out, then blazing through the game's fights half-asleep.
Still, battles notwithstanding, I think the exploration is more masterful than ever this time around. There isn't any significant portion of the game where you're clearly going after McGuffins, the whole story is pretty tightly paced and the balance between open-endedness and plot progression is well kept. There is a clearly evolving status quo for the entire setting of the game, and each time a major change happens new areas are made available while others are locked away. You can feel the effect the events of the narrative are having on the whole scenario, and the progression creates a bit of a disorienting effect as you attempt to find your way to the next significant location (which can and very well may cause you to get hopelessly lost on occasion, but that's part of the experience, I think). It's a pretty admirable blend of elements working together to create a continuous experience. This bleeds over into the characters themselves, who have evolving arcs and, for the most part, continue to be relevant and to have all sorts of crazy things happen to them through the course of the game. Consider it a much more mature attempt to do the sort of character-based revolving scheme that Final Fantasy IV also tried to do.
Overall, this is a game that further plays around with story concept brought over from MTII, experiments somewhat with new ways to go through some of its story beats, and creates a character-based narrative that goes through admirable amounts of change, to the point you can feel the whole cast working through their arcs as things escalate and reach a fever pitch. The gameplay is significantly less refined, though, and, admittedly, even the respectable things in SMT have struggled to stand the test of time, especially when you consider what later SMTs and SMT spinoffs would go on to do. I think this earns the original a 6.5 out of 10, my first non-integer score. It's damn respectable and admirable for 1992, but it has so many outdated things in it that it's hard to actually get oneself into the proper mentality to admire it unless you actually make the conscious decision to play the series in chronological release order. But who would be masochistic enough to do that, right?
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