#these drawings are super whatever I only started trying to draw them like yesterday lmao

[mothoscope]

Fuck you *blasts furrification beam at your 30+ year old adult cartoon*

Beavis - African wolf (Senegalese subspecies) Butt-head - Spotted Hyena

[volfoss]

Doll faceup under cut (word heavy lmao)

I picked up this Dollzone Mo for pretty cheap because he was VERY old and yellowed (made in 2010 so he's very old!!) And the more that i thought about the direction I wanted to go with him, the more I realized I really wanted to reshell (basically same oc but in a different doll sculpt) one of my old dolls that i got rid of years ago. I had sent the original doll off to get his faceup done by a friend but had unfortunately deleted all the pics of this doll so all I had to go off was memory and not a muscle memory of doing the faceups years ago or pictures. He's not the same sculpt but he has a lot of the same features, ie the pouty lips, nose, and eye shape so I was pretty happy that when I got him yesterday, I could FEEL that it was gonna be the right doll to reshell Theo (old dolls name) into. The faceup was definitely a more complicated matter as Theo had a very natural looking faceup which um. Not my strong suit, I love doing big dramatic makeup but I was trying to recapture the same vibes i had from my old doll. With how yellowed he was, I also had to work with that when I was blushing as to not make the head TOO yellow or red. Thankfully I work on yellowed resin a lot so I was moderately confident that I'd be ok.

^ blank sculpt (isn't he so cute 🥺) and the first coat of pastels (hard to see there but they are there promise)

I did something a TINY bit different than my normal order of how I do a faceup and moved right onto acrylics. He has freckles all over his face so I figured doing them very early on would make it look the most natural under any other makeup I was doing. I used a toothbrush, dipped it in a warm brown-orange paint, and flicked it all over the face, cleaning up with a wet and dry q tip, purposefully leaving behind spots of pigmentation on the skin as it's something that I have under my freckles so I wanted to give Theo that too. While I was at it, I used a cool toned brown pretty close to the skin tone to add a bit of an eyeliner (in the way that it'll actually pop a bit with the eyes in place versus looking unfinished) and a waterline using a peachy pink color.

The freckles do NOT photograph super well but they look really good so I'm happy with how they turned out! I then return to the pastels to add more face shading and start on his eyebrows

The eyebrows were VERY hard to do and very scary. 1. I'm VERY bad at eyebrow symmetry. 2. The pastels weren't working so i had to only use a pencil (which I've done w a few faceups now but it was very scary). It was overall very frightening but I think I'm definitely getting a bit better at eyebrows in general :) lip blushing was started which I'll probably do a few more coats of pastel on them and then draw the lines on and be done. Really outside of that I'm nearly done :) natural faceups are a bit easier but they just are NOT what I'm used to so it's a bit of a learning curve to get it looking like a human face instead of whatever silly vibes I'm going for if I'm doing a more dramatic look

The sealant is wet here (forgot to take a pic before i sealed lol) but i just did small little darkening in some areas, I think my next coat will be adding some more shadows to the eyes and lips then I'll be done 👍)

I added some lashes as well as darkening the eyeliner and adding lip lines (hard to see in the pic but they're there 👍) and added some shadows but I finished minus the gloss! For how small he is and how I haven't done a natural faceup in 2 years, I'm pretty happy with it!

And one rq pic of him with an eye in :) I'm really happy with it and I'll have to make him a wig soonish but I'm really glad to have done my own faceup for this doll 👍

[puppy-wife]

okokok i have charged up the social batteries and am ready to yap back @ u!!!!!!

so again, ty for such a big answer 😭 i love hearing ppl yap about their special interests, v cool v nice

questions i have are:

why is 3.5e your fave? im only familar with 5e so i dont know much

playing wit tarot cards instead of dice sounds cool af, which game do u do that in?

for ur world building, how do u personally go about starting such a vast project?

as for meee i havent actually played a TTRPG yet 🤓 i have only watched 5e campaigns on youtube so far! but i love the creativity that goes into this stuff & it has become one of my favourite pieces of media to consume

no YOU'RE very cool very nice I love opportunities to talk about my favorite stuff, so I am absolutely super happy lmao

1.) I really liked 3.5e because it gave a lot more variety and ways to make your character unique vs 5e today (don't even get me started on fucking OneD&D or whatever they're calling it. trash). Firstly, back then wizards was making so many books for that edition that you could make any kind of character you wanted to play. They even allowed official material to be printed by other companies!! you want to play the ultimate evil wizard who gives people cancer? that exists. you want to play the perfect necromancer, and maybe even be undead yourself? you can do that. You could build your characters skills to different levels and choose exactly how good you are at certain things. You could take a Flaw, a permanent debuff on your character but in exchange get a Feat! god fucking Prestige Classes!! those were the coolest fucking part of the game, building a character and leveling them up enough to unlock this special class with wild abilities you can't get from a basic class. this isn't to say that 3.5e didn't have its faults, it could be confusing and the math could sometimes really add up. in some ways it needed a bit of streamlining but 5e basically threw a lot of that away in order to streamline everything. If you want a good example but how fluid 3.5e could be, you should play the videogame Neverwinter Nights 1 or 2, the system they use in that game is taken directly from 3.5e. It just made characters feel so mechanically unique that each character felt different. These days it almost feels too formulaic and too streamlined.

2. I honestly don't know what the name of using it is called, anytime me and my friends have done it, we just use the reference book that comes with a tarot deck and spontaneously decide the outcome based on the way the card could be interpreted. For example, let's say you're fighting a monster, and you want to try and escape from the monster, maybe even lure it away from your friends so they can escape. If you drew the Ten of Swords, I would say that would mean that you successfully draw the monster away, but you fall prey to it in the process. or something similar, yanno? but I don't know if that style of playing has a name given to it lol

3. oh I actually had someone ask me that yesterday! I'll send you the post once I find it, I was very active yesterday so it may take me a minute lol

you're so valid for that!! it can be hard to find a good group to play with, every group I've had has kind of fallen into my lap, but also to be fair I am known for being very into ttrpgs lmao

what are your favorite shows/campaigns you've watched? fun fact somewhere out there exists about 30 episodes of a d&d actual play podcast that I DM'd from somewhere around like... 2019? I think? lmao. technically I have a TON of episodes in a backlog somewhere that I never edited but that campaign kind of fell apart and I never finished it.

[shimenchus]

...I haven't seen a single toku blog receive any ask about a thea someone? And I follow quite a lot. So unless you're hanging out in some really weird circle of it... (after all, due to various reasons, toku tumblr is more like a bunch of bubbles instead of one monolith.)

What I HAVE seen are a lot of them still reblogging satoryuga's gifsets with positive tags, even to this day. From what I understand, most of them are pretty sure that she isn't a terf, and are against the re-uploader. However, they're not sure who is behind it. And judging by how this re-uploader has the means to doxx extremely personal info of random Tumblr users and create loads of sockpuppets, anything is possible. (For all we know, that person could be the re-uploader, or it could be some distraction to hide the real re-uploader's identity.)

This is also why--out of the fans I've spoken to--they've been trying to deal with the situation quietly (reporting hate comments, leaving supportive DMs to satoryuga, etc). We've already seen from the re-uploader's 2nd blog post (where they @ 'd a few people that were against the re-uploader for different reasons) that they're willing to threaten others too. If anything, I think the more accurate thing to do is ask why they would @ those users in particular (since by @ -ing them, they're turning those bloggers into targets). Clearly the re-uploader sees those people as either threats or easy targets to have beef with.

i'm not hanging out in any weird circles i promise you, everyone i follow in the fandom are just other girls who like sentai. yesterday i saw quite a few people getting told to "block and dni" with thea-nymo which is the real account of the reuploader if you didn't know that, there were even people outside of the fandom getting asks which makes no sense because people who don't know what sentai is definitely wouldn't know who satoryuga is lol

i get the fear around the doxxing, i don't think anybody should be forced to do anything they're uncomfortable with and if there's people in the fandom who aren't liking or making shady posts about satoryuga and have privately reached out to her because that's what they're comfortable with then that's great, more power to them.

i mean, i never in my life got so many grown adults telling me to get graphically and violently raped and murdered until i called them out on harassing satoryuga, i know most people would not have the stomach for that kind of stuff so i fully understand the ones who don't want to openly say anything.

but the ones who are leaning into the "i'm not looking at any evidence because someone told me satoryuga = bad = she should get raped and murdered because i can't think for myself" crowd can find a tall tree to get caught up in.

and most of the people that got @ by the reuploader weren't people who against him, it was people he was against lol considering neckspike got @ and that loser was the first person starting the "this is a hoax none of this is real it's a psychop" stuff against satoryuga.

i think stacaesar and diamondsketches are the only people who got @ that the reuploader was purposely trying to draw attention to, to get the cult to attack them too, because much like satoryuga, neither of them did anything wrong.

neckspike and whatever that artist's name was (they blocked me after calling me a crackhead so i don't remember lmao) are super anti-satoryuga and couldn't make a single argument against her/against the people supporting her without resorting to racism and misogyny, so if anybody sent those two even 1 threat... well, babygirl that's on them lol

thanks for the nice message though, i wasn't expecting someone else from the fandom to see it and give a response like this that wasn't another rape threat/"slit your wrists terf" type message.

[shrimp-piss]

zukka high school letter fic wip that i will never finish LMAO enjoy

Zuko/Sokka | word count:1074

Zuko, 

I know you don’t know me, and I know I don’t know you. 

Mr. Piando’s writing letters to his other classes is kind of a weird idea for a writing project don’t you think? Feels archaic. He even suggested that we try to write them in cursive if we knew how to (maybe he’s said the same thing to you). 

I hope you weren’t hoping for someone else to draw your name, or hoping you could pick your penpal. I guess this was destined (though, I’m not sure how much I believe in destiny), since I do have first period with Piando. 

You know how at the beginning of this letter I said I didn’t know you? Well, actually, I should say I know of you. I’ve seen you walking through the hallways. You’re usually alone, but sometimes you walk with your sister’s friends. Your sister scares me a bit if I’m honest, even if she is just a sophomore. I’ve lost track already of what I’m supposed to be writing. Sorry, that happens sometimes.

We’re supposed to introduce ourselves I guess (again, that's what Mr. Piando suggested) but I don’t know what to say. I’m seventeen, I’m applying to MIT for engineering, my sister is Katara (who’s a sophomore just like your sister), I don’t like english classes, and I’m funny. Yes, a bold claim to say that I’m funny with nothing to back it up, but trust me, I’m funny. 

So. Now for the real question: who are you? 

–Sokka

(continues after cut)

Dear Sokka,

You’re right. I don’t know you. You certainly don’t know me.

 I assume you don’t write letters much. Or hand write that often, judging by how messy your handwriting is. 

I wasn’t hoping for anyone. I didn’t want to write to anyone. It feels like a waste of time. 

I’m also nobody. You don’t need to know me. 

–Zuko, age 17

Zuko,

Well that’s certainly a cold letter. But I can’t complain, as some kids didn’t even write back. Why are you so grumpy all the time? You look like you don’t even smile, and if you have, it’s been about a few years. 

I’m glad you weren’t hoping for anyone, even if you think this is a waste of time. I would like to point out that you didn’t introduce yourself. If I was Mr. Piando, I would have given you an F for the assignment (not that he’s even reading these, but I could snitch (I won’t)) as you did not complete it. I guess I’ll have to do the heavy lifting for both of us.

Here’s what I know about you: you brood a lot. You're either by yourself, and if you’re not by yourself, you’re yelling or scowling at your sister and her friend’s. You have Mr. Piando’s class. I’m pretty sure your family is rich because your sister has super designer stuff. I’ve seen you driving a car, so I know you know how to drive. You’ve also been on honor roll since you were a freshman, but I think you skip a lot of classes. You look emo. That’s not a fact I guess, more of an observation. If you’re not at lunch with your sister, you’re sitting in Mr. Piando’s classroom hunched over homework while looking super angry. 

Did I guess right? Pretty sure I just nailed your whole personality right there. Unless there's more you want to tell about yourself or correct the information I’ve gathered? What secrets are you hiding from me?

You have a weird way of signing letters. Is that the proper way? Should I start signing mine off like that too? 

Who are you Zuko?

–Sokka, age 17

Dear Sokka,

I do feel sort of bad for those kids who didn’t get a letter back. I felt like you deserved some sort of response too. Mr. Piando also persuaded me to write to you. He also said I should try harder to write you a longer and more personal one too. 

You don’t have to snitch on me for “not fulfilling the requirements” because I already did that myself. I told Mr. Piando that I didn’t say anything, and for the most part, left nothing of actual substance. In all honesty, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never written to a stranger before. The only other person - who isn’t you - that I’ve written to before was my Uncle. 

And you nailed me perfectly. You’ve summed up me pretty well. Perhaps you should be a detective instead of an engineer. Also, are you stalking me? Know a little too much about me after you said you didn’t really know me. 

You keep asking me who I am, but you haven’t told me who you are. Seems like you’re also hiding something. I don’t know anything about you except that you might be a nerd. 

So, tell me something about you.What’s your zodiac sign? When's the last time you stalked me? How tall are you? Are you actually funny? 

To answer your other question: yes. This is how you sign letters.

– Zuko, age 17

Zuko,

I swear I don’t stalk you. I think I don’t stalk you at least. I think you’re an interesting person, I mean, you look interesting. You don’t seem to talk (in real life or with letters) a lot. You’re a man of few words huh? 

Why did you write your uncle letters? Were they more of the, “I have to write you a thank you note,” type of thing? 

Thanks for writing me back. I’ve actually been getting into this who letter thing. If you didn’t notice, I bought fancy paper. I think it’s call stationary for whatever reason? But isn’t this hella nice paper? It’s the thick expensive kind! Feels pretty good to touch right? Do you keep these letters? I have. I’m putting them into a shoebox, which I’ve so cleverly labeled as ZUKO so I won’t forget. 

And for your information, I am not hiding anything! I’m in fact, an open book, unlike you. First, to answer your questions: I am a Pisces. If you want to know the last time I OBSERVED you, it was yesterday. You were sitting with Mr. Piando again, you emo. I know I’m taller than you, that’s for sure. And yes, I am actually funny. If engineering wasn’t such a love of mine, I would have my own comedy special by now.

[lilacyennefer]

Father's Day

@melissataggart87 asked: Can I request some Jax teller fluff?

A/N: I'm sorry this took a bit long, but I didn't had any idea until this morning when an idea hit me and I could write it. I actually really loved writing it and I have a baby fever now lmao. I genuinely think this is the cutest thing I've ever wrote. I hope you like it!

TW: none, it’s just pure fluff

“Mommy!” you hear Abel say as he runs into your bedroom and jumps on your bed. 

“Hey little one.” you say as Abel crawls close to you and you immediately wrap your arms around him, hugging him close.

“Where’s daddy?” he asks and you open your eyes to check the bed next to you, it’s empty. 

“He probably had some work to do.” you explain and try to hide your worry and disappointment. Today is father’s day and you wanted Jax to spend the day with Abel, to have some little family time together. You didn’t tell him about your plans, you only talked to Abel about it, and you’re actually so proud that your two years old could hold a secret so well. 

“But what about daddy’s day?” he asks sadly and you feel your heart ache. 

“You know what, little one? We should make some breakfast while I make some calls, okay?” he just nods and he’s already on his way to the kitchen. You get out of bed too and grab your phone, and you follow him to the kitchen.

“What would you like for breakfast?” you ask your son and he excitedly screams “Pancakes!” you chuckle and get a mixing bowl, peel two bananas for the vegan pancakes and hand them to Abel and put them in the bowl. 

“Smash those.” you tell him and he excitedly starts smashing the bananas. This Vegan pancake is his absolute favorite and he loves helping you make them, especially the smashing the bananas part. You quickly dial Gemma’s number while Abel is busy.

“Hello?” she answers the phone.

“Hey Gemma. Is Jax around there?” you ask her.

“Yes he’s at the clubhouse. Is something wrong?” she asks worried. 

“Oh no, no, it’s just…” you start and take a few steps away from Abel “It’s father’s day today and I had a little plan for him and Abel. Abel was really excited about it, but Jax doesn’t know and now he’s gone. I want this to be a surprise so I couldn’t call him.” you explain quickly.

“That’s sweet.” Gemma says and you can hear the smile in her voice “I’ll make sure he stays here so you can come here and talk to him, is that okay?” 

“Yeah, that’s fine. We will head there after breakfast.” you answer and say goodby to Gemma. You walk back to Abel who finished smashing the bananas, you take the bowl away from him and put the rest of the ingredients in it and start making the pancakes. After breakfast you’re on your way to the clubhouse. 

When you park the car Abel can’t wait to get out of the car and find his dad and to show him his drawing what he so carefully was creating yesterday. You open the door and take Abel out of the car and he immediately runs towards the clubhouse. You quickly lock the car and run after him, you lift him up when you reached him and he lets out a loud laugh. You open the door of the clubhouse and you see Bobby, Chibs, and your husband, Jax talking about something. Jax’s face immediately lights up when he sees the two of you, you put down Abel and let him run towards his dad.

“Daddy!” he screams excitedly and Jax picks him up and hugs him. 

“What brings you here, little man?” Jax asks and Abel shows his drawing into his face and answers excitedly. 

“It’s daddy’s day!” he says and you see Jax’s ‘oh shit’ expression as he looks at you. “ We have a super secret program for you, but we couldn’t find you.” Abel explains and you see the guilt on Jax’s face. 

“I’m sorry, son.” he says to Abel and kisses his forehead and hugs him close.

“Nothing is lost yet!” you step closer to them “It’s still early, we still can spend the day together.” you say and Jax nods. 

“Can we talk?” you whisper and he nods.

“Why don’t you play a little with uncle Bobby and Chibs while mommy and I talk?” he asks from Abel and he nods, Jax puts him down and he runs to the guys. “We will be right back.” Jax tells them and they nod in answer. You walk out of the clubhouse to talk with Jax.

“I know this was unexpected, but Abel and I have been planning this the whole week. He’s so excited, so please, say that you can come with us.” You see Jax smile and nod, he pulls you closer to himself, face almost touching. 

“Of course I can.” he says softly and you smile at him. You kiss him gently on the lips and you both smile into the kiss.

“Are you up to anything, Teller?” you ask him after breaking the kiss. 

“It depends.” he says with a smirk “I won’t dress up as a princess.”  he says jokingly and you let out a loud laugh.  

“Don’t worry about that. We didn’t plan anything like that.” you tell him and he nods and leads you back to the clubhouse. 

“Alright, little man, are you ready to go?” he asks Abel and he excitedly jumps into his father’s arms. 

“Yes!!!” he says and you both snicker. 

“Wait.” Jax says and puts Abel down, and you see Jax taking off his Cut. He gives it to Chibs and looks at your surprised expression. “I’m a dad today. Not a biker.” he explains and a big smile spreads over your lips. You say goodbye to Bobby and Chibs as you walk towards your car, Jax puts Abel to his seat, then he opens the passenger door for you.

“Oh no, big boy.” you tell him “I’m driving. You can’t know where we go.” he raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t say anything, he just takes his place in the car. You silently drive towards your destination while Abel excitedly chats with his dad.

20 minutes later you park the car in front of a small, beautiful bakery what opened recently. Jax looks at you surprised and you shrug and explain:

“Abel wanted to come here since we first drove past by it like a month ago. I promised him we would take him here for father’s day if he could keep it as a secret. Which he did so here we are.” you explain and Jax nods with a small smile.

“Alright.” he says and gets out of the car and you follow him. Abel is already in Jax’s arms, moving excitedly as you walk towards the bakery. You walk in and thankfully there aren’t many people in here, but everyone immediately knows who you and your husband are.

“What would you like, little one?” Jax asks Abel as he’s looking at the delicious cakes. 

“Look, they have ice cream too!” you say and point to its direction.

“Ice cream!” Abel says excitedly and Jax walks over to the ice creams, and you follow them. “How many flavours I can get?” he looks at you with his big eyes and you smile at him softly.

“How many do you want?” you ask him. He looks back at the variety of the ice creams and you can see how hard he thinks. 

“Cookie dough with chocolates! And birthday cake!!!” he says after deciding and you nod.

“Are you sure that’s all?” Jax asks him and Abel nods.

“And some cakes too.” he says and you let out a laugh.

“Wouldn’t that be too much?” you ask him and instead of Abel, Jax answers.

“Nope. He can get whatever he wants. And we can take some cakes home, too.” he says and you raise your eyebrows at him, you don’t say anything you just nod. It’s so rare when the three of you can spend time like this together so you’re really not here to ruin it. Jax chooses his ice creams too, he gets chocolate and coffee one, and you choose the vanilla and strawberry one. You sit down in the bakery to eat your ice creams, Abel excitedly talks about whatever comes into his mind, and Jax listens to him with all his attention. You reach for your bag and take a camera out and you quickly snap a picture of them. Jax realised it and he looked at you and you sheepishly shrugged. 

“Abel, come here.” Jax says and Abel crawls on his lap, both of you are looking at you and smiling, ready to take a picture. You smile back at them and take a picture, then Jax stops a waiter who walks past by you and asks her if she’d take a photo of the three of you. She happily agrees and you go and sit next to Jax, Abel between the two of you, and all of you have a huge smile on your faces. After the picture you sit back, but Abel doesn’t move, he keeps sitting in Jax’s lap. Jax is talking to you when you see Abel take his spoon and grab a big chunk of Jax’s chocolate ice cream. You try to not laugh as you see your son sneaking the spoon into his mouth, careful so his dad won’t notice. Jax sees that your whole attention is on Abel and he looks down just to see Abel put the little spoon full of chocolate ice cream into his mouth. Jax lets out a loud ‘hey’ and you can’t help, but laugh loudly at the scene.

“That’s not fair.” he says jokingly and Abel just laughs at him, mouth full of ice cream. “You can have as much as you want.” he says with a smile and Abel takes another big spoon of the ice cream, but this time from his birthday cake flavoured one and holds it up to Jax. He looks at the ice cream and then you, but after a few seconds he accepts it and you watch your badass biker husband getting feeded with ice cream by his two years old son. You keep eating your ice cream and you watch Abel feed himself and Jax with the ice creams with his little spoon. When you finish your own, you watch the scene in front of you with a big smile, and you’re excited about the small surprise what’s still waiting for Jax. You don’t know how much time has passed, but Abel finally said he can’t eat more and you can’t help, but giggle at that.

“Do you still want some cake to take home?” you ask him and he just shakes his head. You know he had enough sugar for a week from the ice creams, but you didn’t want to ruin his day by not asking him. You spend the rest of the day together, Abel is constantly around his father, not giving him any free time. He insists on his father bathing him and reading him a bedtime story, and after saying goodnight to Abel you get ready for bed and wait for Jax to join you. After a while you see Jax walk in, exhausted, and he throws himself on the bed.

“Did you enjoy today?” you ask him as you run your fingers through his hair.

“I really did.” he says with a smile “Although I’m exhausted. I don’t know how you can handle this little energy bomb every day.” he says jokingly and you let out a laugh. 

“I actually enjoy it. He keeps me young.” you say and Jax hmms. “And soon we will have another energy bomb to take care of.” you say nervously and you bite your bottom lip.Jax looks at you and he sits up.

“Are you pregnant?” he asks surprised and all you can do is nod. He smiles and hugs you close, burying his face in your neck and kisses it gently.

“This is amazing!” he says “I’m so happy.” you feel tears rolling down your face as you keep hugging your husband.

“I’m so happy too.” you sob “I love you so much, Jax.”

“I love you too, darling.” he says and kisses you passionately.

[riskeith]

omg hi. sorry i disappeared for a few days, been super busy with school. i missed you a lot. how have you been?

i haven’t had the need to eat any food since i got barbara and noelle on my team. if one of them can’t shield, the other comes in a clutch haha. *bows* thank you ladies for your service.

i’d pay hard earned money to see fanart with the boy scouts playing with guoba.. :( and YEAH. that would be so fitting? + it’s gonna be liyue themed which is super nice. do you know any predictions over which four stars will be in xiao’s banner? and who do /you/hope will be there?

last time i played three days ago unlocked dragonspine.. i even did albedo’s quest i can’t believe i defeat that evil place sjshdksk. meaning i got so some primogems and some intertwined fate. i’ve been itching to use some of the intertwined fates to get xiangling c rate up... should i?

october 20 is such a cute bday. you know how some dates just look nice? that’s one of them shskdhs. i want to say my birthday too but i feel like if anyone reads our messages they’ll know who i am... sorry. you’ll have to wait for that information until we privately talk some day. big promise. 🤍

ooh. you kind of wing it too, then! in some ways. if you’re not feeling it do you leave the fic for the day after or give up on it for a while? (so many question... shut up @ me) i’m the same as you! but i also write sometimes in the day time and i feel like that’s when i produce my best work. yesterday i was at a cafe studying and during a break i just started writing a fic and for some reason it just flowed so nicely? so yeah idk skdjdhsk. whenever it strikes i suppose.

i do borrow my books sadly. i kind of have to because i don’t have anymore place to put my books (we live in a small apartment) and books are kind of expensive :( i don’t mind borrowing though because i don’t really reread books unless they’re super special so it’s fine. do you buy yours? I HAVE READ LEGEND. i read it waaaay back in grade school haha, it’s been ages ago. i’ve never seen anyone say it’s their favorite but i can see why you feel that way. it’s kind of underrated in the community for sure.

dude fuck... chongyun and xingqiu live in my mind rent free. i kid you not i just can’t stop thinking about those boys... please send me all the fanart you find i’ll literally give you my life for that <3

i just listened to the g-idle song and AAA? wtf? i used to really like them while i was into kpop and this is so nostalgic to me. i haven’t listened to kpop in literally years shdkdhdk. this song is great thank you for sending it, do you like g-idle? <3

WAIT ARE YOU MAKING A SECOND ACC? I WAS LITERALLY CONSIDERING DOING ONE IN ASIA FOR YOU... shdjdhdjshsjsj our minds. and yes i’m in american server... oh god. our co-op date can happen? 🥺 but if it’s too much work for you i’ve seriously actually considered doing one in asia for me i’m totally fine with starting all over so.. 🥺

god i’ve missed talking to you so much. once again i’m sorry for not being here, but hopefully after tomorrow’s exam school will be a bit more chill and i’ll be yours again.

hope you’ve been well babe. mwah!

hi!! that’s alright ahah, i assumed that was the case. i’ve been well!! and then not so well bc we weren’t talking 🤪 needless to say i’ve missed you a lot too <333

omggg QUEENS!!! i don’t have any healers but i don’t eat food either... LMFAO unless it’s a boss fight i’ll just keep going until i’m done with whatever it is then go heal at a statue fsdhfkdjs

!!! brb just gonna go get good at art so i can draw that for u 😩 i don’t have any predictions myself, but i’ve seen people say it’ll be ningguang + beidou + barbara possibly?? but of course, i would hope that xingqiu was there <3333 he can appear twice in a row come on mhy <3333 just think about that <333 and omggg i’d wish if chongyun came as well.. i really want to get him to c6 (but he was only two banners ago?) hbu do you have any thoughts on the matter~

AHAHAH good job im proud of you 😤😤 show that nasty place who’s boss!! if you want to, I don’t see why not! it’ll get you closer to pity as well so by the time venti is near, hopefully it won’t take you much to get him! lmk how it goes!!!! manifesting c6 xiangling for you 🔥

fhskdf thank you... is it weird to say i agree? FHDSKFHSDKFKJ like. 20/10 or 10/20... nice even multiples of ten numbers.. AHAHAH. no need to apologise at all!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍 share whatever you’re comfortable with whenever you’re comfortable <33

hm it depends. (i just reaslised i said this exact phrasing last time too lmfao) i think i usually give up on it for a while? but sometimes i try to force myself through it too, just to get over that section so i can hopefully move on to a better one wait sorry i misread your question LOL. i usually leave it for the day as opposed to give up on it for a while! if i’m actively working on something i’d prefer to continue working at it slowly, even if the progress is just me opening the doc and then exiting after 5 mins fhdskj. are you the same? (NO!!! DO NOT SHUT UP @ YOU i never get to talk about writing processes pls im enjoying this a lot)

nice!! the vibes when writing during the day are sometimes better as well, bc it’s still light and stuff you’re not sitting in the dark or with a light on.. lol. it’s more ~natural~ & omg legendary... i love that for you!! on that note, do you usually study at school/cafes/libraries? i pretty much can only study at home, i hate doing it anywhere else. 

ahh that’s fair :( and yeah i agree books can get so expensive? like the authors def deserve to be compensated for all their hard work but damn lmao. oh that’s a good point! i do buy books yeah, and i don’t even necessarily reread them i just like having them on the shelf fhdskfd (there are many i haven’t even read for the first time... oops.) what ages do grade school cover? sorry i have no idea what that means fhsjfkshsdkjs the different names for education levels will never not confuse me. !! yeah i really wish legend was more popular aaaaa

here are some recent arts i’ve bookmarked!! (rip i should find one more so every word is linked but cbs hfskdhfs) i’m also considering making a genshin twitter! idk why i’m so averse to following these amazing accs on my normal account lmaoo but i’m also thinking of posting pics from the 52485 photoshoots i do with chongyun..

oh nice!!! i’m really happy you liked it 🥰🥰🥰 and yeah i do like g-idle but i don’t stan them! that’s me with most groups tbh fshkfjsd but i do watch most of their MVs when they first come out~

FSHFKJSDHFKSD wait what if.. this but it’s us surprising each other in the other’s servers <33 and if i’m telling you the truth... i kinda despise the idea of playing in am*rica server FHSDKJFHSDKFHSDKKDSHFKSDHKKJ but we could compromise and both start again in europe?? ahah let me know what you think! if you’re happy to just do one in asia tho that’s fine as well~ 

me too!! and no worries for real, school comes first!! (even if it fkn sucks... @ school i hate you. i say, when i’m still on holidays FHDSKJFJS) aaaa good luck on your exam!!! i hope you smash it 💪💪 

also um “and i’ll be yours again”??!?!?!?!? be still my beating heart 😩😩😩😩 i shall be waiting for you wifey hehe

hope you’ve been taking care of yourself!! kisses, c.r.

[tarot28]

MANIFESTATION, GOALS, INTENTIONS AND GRATITUDE AND MOREEEEEE

This is my guide to how I do my daily self work to bring some joy and happiness and better things closer to me.  Everything I do listed below is written down in the same place - a generic leftover half used spiral notebook next to my bed.  

I have a little anxiety and uncertainty and a little moop (a word for when you’ve got sad mood that’s kinda blah but it doesn’t have as quite of a severe connotation as depression does imo) when it comes thinking about the future.  To get super real for a second here, it can be so so bleak sometime to look ahead and look at where I am now and where I could be like if only if only.  Coming out of an unhealthy and toxic relationship and being on the mend from that also has me looking for ways of actively reviving my worth and my joy and I’m glad to report that what I’ve outline below has helped me personally and by sharing, I hope I can help others :) :)

Also just as a note: I use the Universe instead of God, Goddess, Spirit, etc bc that’s my preference.  Mentally sub that for whatever works for you <3

Contents: sorry this is a hella long post but here’s the break down - Manifestation (what I used to do) - Goals (what I do/how I altered manifestation to make it work for me) - Intentions (goals are long term, but here’s the daily) - Gratitude (how it puts things into perspective) - Meditation (an on and off again relationship/the one that always gets away) - How the fuck do I fit all this into my daily routine ?

Manifestation: So when I first started this routine I used kinda generic manifestation and threw literally everything I wanted at the Universe like here this is what I want and it’s your problem now.  That’s the idea I got from the very minimal reading I did on manifestation and law of attraction type shtuff.  I reallllllly hesitate to call what I currently do manifestation but it’s like a cousin and is closer to setting goals.  I’m not going to go into manifestation further but the “manifestation work” I do is like everything written here collectively.

Goals: This is the branching out I did for manifestation.  It’s more accessible language too.  A goal is something I want and it’s something attainable.  Transitioning from manifestation to goals was kinda necessary to me because when I was doing manifestation was me throwing every tiny little want and need at the Universe.  Goals was that but with filters and then elaboration.  I went from asking for like 8 or 10 things that would change often to asking for 3 consistently.

Here’s a working example.  One of my old “manifestation” items was “a sense of confidence in my body.”  Let’s pull this apart a bit.  This isn’t a bad thing to ask for at all; it’s definitely something that can happen.  But like does the Universe really need to bestow that onto me or is that something I could do on my own.  It’s too specific and exclusive as well.  The perception of my own physical health comes from my personal relationship with myself, mentally and emotionally.  My body confidence won’t change unless I work at how I talk to myself or unless I start to praise my own appearance.  

I use a different, but related version of this older item currently in my goal statements that aims to “improve the relationship I have with myself for myself through positive self talk, self care, and recognizing the joy that comes through exploring my relationship with myself.”  This is longer, but it’s bigger picture.  It encompasses mental, physical, and emotional health.  It also emphasizes my part in it, which was the biggest issue I had with what I was calling “manifestation.”  I think it’s ok to ask for things, but personally asking and waiting passively for something to drop into your lap just on the merits of asking for it felt unrealistic.  I think my biggest personal distinction between goals and manifestation was introducing accountability, thus empowering myself to make the changes in my life that I wanted to see.

Intentions In addition to writing my goal statements, I write my intentions.  The goals are more specific to the season or a couple month to a year long period, whereas the intentions are a couple of ways I want my day to go.  Again, this is kinda me empowering myself to take action and decide how my day will unfold.  It’s just a couple of brief statements about things I want to happen, but less of a tangible to do list and more like what’s the vibe today boysss

So for example on a to do list I had this week: chem for mon, wed, fri, bio lecture notes from thursday, final revisions on whatever weekly essay it was lmao rip, and then a couple emails.  This was a to do list from Monday and I have work and class and meetings and bathroom break and have to take care of the dogs and make food and eat the food and drink water and maybe squeeze in a workout from 9am to 3:30pm on top of the to do list, which is usually just classwork.  My intention for the day was to “be productive enough to prepare for tomorrow.”  This is a way to say do the bare minimum and feel better about it.  Another intention I had was to “recognize and when I need a break and give myself the rest time I need to be productive.”  Another way of justifying slacking off occaisionally but giving it an elevated purpose through the wording.  It also makes me feel like shameful about not getting everything I planned to do in one day because I carried out my intentions.

Gratitude! This is my absolute favorite part of my routine!  It brings everything home for me and I can really draw attention to all the mundane disguised positivity in my life that might go unnoticed or underappreciated otherwise.  This one is so simple.  I start by writing “I’m grateful:” and then just list whatever comes to mind easily.  

If it’s hard at first, make sure you’re not overthinking.  When I introduced this into my routine I would almost talk myself out of the stupid things, but I think that’s where a lot of my small, daily joy comes from.  Yesterday was cold and rainy and that’s my favorite weather so I wrote “rainy and cold” on my list and I think I put sweatpants on their too.  Don’t overthink it and don’t force it and just start doing it.

Here’s some research for the benefits if you don’t want to listen to me, please listen to the science, more of the science and a little more.  If these links don’t work- sorry but they’re random articles I found from google scholar after searching gratitude journaling.  SO much evidence out there 

Meditation This is my long lost love.  I feel like I never have the time and I’m fighting to put her back into my routine.  It makes me feel great and settles me into my body.  More posts to come if when I get back at it.  If anyone has techniques or guided mediation recommendations omg let me know.  I use a couple podcasts, one is purely guided mediations because they’re like 5 or 10 mins each and I’m short on time a lot.  The other is called nothing much happens and it’s just like bedtime stories about mundane routines and not strict mediation, but I love them.

My daily routine and how I make this work for me and don’t give up: My first rule is that if I’m not in the mood, I simply do NOT.  Like days where shit sucks is different from days where you feel like you’re breaking down and it physically hurts to think about the future or your goals because everything is so hard.  I get that and I treat myself like an adult and know that not doing it one day won’t be an issue as long as I make sure I do it the next day.

In the morning, I think about my schedule.  What is today and what is the best way to approach what I have going on?  What is the best way to direct my energy?  This is intention time :) And then this is where I’m trying to add meditation back in but I really suck at morning time management and I’m trying to use the time to work out before my day gets started.  We’ll see lol I’ll prob add it in at the end of my day to help me get to sleep feeling a little more settled and comfy in my own body and mind.

I try to keep my intentions in mind during the day.  Sometimes it happens, sometimes not.  It’s ok because I did them and I thought about it at least one time during the day for it’s own special, dedicated amount of time.

After I’m completely done for the day, I go what the fuck am I doing on this planet, how can I improve my existence, what do I see happening for myself? Under my intentions, I write my big three goalssss.  Something for my own healthy, something for my career and academics, and something to kinda talk about my meant to be, forever home of person that I’m trying to attract.  Self-career-social kinda triangle of goals.

Under my goals, I zoom in on everything that went great.  The last thing I write down for the day is gratitude so that even if I get a little stressed about not following my intentions too well or not making a lot of progress towards my big picture goals, I can look at today and go I had a great cup of hot chocolate and binged AHS though and I don’t regret it because it made me so happy that I wrote it down.

The end thanks for reading this incredibly long post.  I love these long posts where I can just go on about what I do :) I really hope this helps someone who doesn’t vibe with what they’re seeing in their skimming over of law of attraction and manifestation stuff.  Fuck that and do you.  Sending so much love to y’all <3 L :)

[tacitoru]

Dance to This (m)

pairing: fuqboi!jhs x reader

genre: smut, dance majors!au

warnings: light bondage (?), thigh riding, self-gratification lmao

wc: 3k

notes: an old draft i found collecting dust in my wips from a year ago. i think it meant to have more plot and detail but I’m not entirely sure lol editing this was more as a mental break from my current stuff than anything else and i can't remember what my original idea for this was but enjoy lmao

synopsis: in lieu of your injured partner, you’re forced to work with one of the biggest mistakes you’ve made in your college career.

Some of the most important things came in pairs; shoes, lungs, chopsticks, dance partners.  Yet much to your inconvenience, you had managed to become the mismatched sock in an otherwise perfectly organized dresser drawer of neatly rolled - and paired - socks. Four weeks before one of the largest showcases in your college career, your dance partner Jimin, a sophomore prodigy, had badly twisted his ankle slipping on black ice that had frozen along the steps outside his dormitory in the aftermath of a winter storm. While the boy would still be able to dance in a few months' time, your instructor was quick to find someone to fill in the blank. Rather than your more preferable idea of turning your duet into a solo, you were haphazardly thrown to the whims of one irksome Jung Hoseok.

It wasn't that he was terrible. It was far from that - he was too good, and he knew it.

Flawless transitions, a body that moved with all the expression, ease, grace and passion you could only hope you portrayed. His performance pushed the limits of perfection and inspired awe to those who spectated, upper and underclassmen alike. And it just so happened he would be performing in the same show with you at the end of the semester, in an effort to attract the attention of big-name dance companies. To secure a future in the industry.

Yet the unbalanced dynamic caused by a long and awkward history between the two of you seemed to threaten all of that.

"Does it hurt?"

The question sounds silly the moment it leaves your mouth, and the odd look on Jimin's face most likely mirrors yours. Obviously, it hurt. But Jimin, the angel that he was, only smiles brightly and wiggles his toes in the cast. "Only a little."

Jimin, practically a contemporary dance prodigy, still had a year to go, hence, he avoided many repercussions of not being able to participate in the show. You, on the other hand, were grinding down to the last semester at your performing arts school. While it wouldn't be impossible to get a job teaching at a studio or even at another school, it wasn't what you were looking for - wasn't what you had dreamed of.

And now, with Jimin's eyes drowning you in that well-known look of pity, that dream felt very, extremely out of reach.

You shot up out of your seat, feeling your skin crawl and your ears burn under that familiar feeling of irritation. A hot feeling filled your head with all the pent-up frustration from the situation that had long gone out of your hands. You need to get out.  For a fleeting moment, you're tempted to step on Jimin's other ankle out of pure (unwarranted) pettiness. Damn you for leaving me in a position like this.

"I just wanted to stop by and make sure you were doing alright…" You hope your smile looks more amiable than it feels.

The boy nods, extending his arms as if going for a hug, and then quickly retracting into a half wave as though he's thought better about it. Over the grueling hours and months you had spent practicing hard together, you and Jimin worked together like a well-oiled machine across the floor. You were good partners, even nearly friends, but close was something you were not. At the end of each day, you both went your separate ways. Still, it felt wrong for this to have happened and to not stop by the hospital, no matter little of value the relationship was to you.

As you reach the door Jimin calls out to you, "Are you heading to the studio?" He eyes your attire and the gym bag you shoulder as if that if not an obvious enough answer.

"Yeah."

"Is everything going okay with Hoseok?"

The fingers that rest of the doorknob curl around it in an iron grip. You glare hard at the scuffed tile floors, biting your tongue at the slight idolization you hear in Jimin's tone just at speaking the man's name. He had always been a bit of a fan.

"It's great," you lament, pushing through the doorway. "Fucking fantastic."

There is only one studio ever open past ten o'clock at night, and you are one of a handful that ever wanders in there so late at night after an already taxing day spent on these very floors. So when you arrive to find a sliver of light from the doorway and heavy bass of an R&B song trembling the walls of the corridor, the sense of frustration from earlier that evening only seems to balloon. Kicking the door open and fully intending on forcing the person out of the studio, you're stopped short by the sight before you.

Two closely intertwined half-dressed bodies, moving erratically and jammed up against a foggy wall length mirror jump apart at the sound of the door slamming into the wall behind it. You mentally wince, knowing that someone's instructor will spaz when they discover a door handle sized dent in the drywall.

Jung Hoseok stands in a sweat-sticky tee, hair tousled, slowly tucking himself back into the draws and basketball shorts that had fallen to his shins, looking a hell of a lot less perturbed than the girl he was just dick-deep inside. This - this was exactly why you refused to be partnered with him.

The girl (one you vaguely recognize from an Intro to Tap class you took on a whim) looks frazzled, struggling to simultaneously reach for her leggings and pull up her bra. She opens her mouth to exclaim in anger, but you beat her to the punch.

"What the fuck is this."

You stretch in silence. It's always like this now, as opposed to the pop music blasting over the stereo Jimin would play during warmups, the mild hellos and good mornings, the partner stretches or the comfortable small talk made between switching positions. Now, with Hoseok, the closest thing to a greeting is a nod or a grunt. Warming up is done in radio silence, save for the days like today when you remember to bring your earbuds and turn the volume too low for your new partner to hear, but loud enough to block out your thoughts and the awkward tension that's more deafening than the silence.

Today is more uncomfortable than others, for a multitude of reasons. You can hardly turn your head in Hoseok's direction, the image of him pinning your old classmate to the mirror by the arms and the flash of his bare ass forever printed to the backs of your eyelids. You say nothing to him though, having shared more than enough words when all he had replied to your outrage was with a shrugged off, "Practice."

You had cursed him and his accomplice out, reprimanding them for misuse of school facilities. A reprimanding that had, apparently, gone right over their heads, because while the girl had at first a little decency to appear sheepish, she had shoulder her way past you to the door hissing, "killjoy."

Despite the fact that the previous night's events had only amplified your cold attitude toward him, you could feel Hoseok's gaze burn hole between your shoulder blades. You had a three-hour practice together before a break for lunch, and although it had only just started, you were counting down the minutes.

Little was said for the first half, aside from "Let's try that again," and "One more time from the top,". Despite being thrown into it at a moment's notice, Hoseok is a fast learner and picks up the routine quickly. However, when it gets to the point where the instructor allows you to practice without him for the last hour and a half, Hoseok feels unnecessarily entitled to fill the void. Most days you don't mind a little constructive criticism. Yet today, when his hands unexpectedly go for your hips in the middle of a turn, you practically leap three feet in the air before stumbling out of his reach.

You whip around to face him, hands planted on your hips. "Can I help you?!"

Hoseok has known you've been on edge all day, yet the look on his face is one of genuine surprise at your outburst. He blinks. "You're moving your hips all wrong."

"Wha-?"

"Your hips," He falters when you move further away from him when he reaches for you again, sighing exasperatedly. "You look super stiff like you're trying to twist your way out of a tight pair of jeans. There's no fluidity."

Chin tilted in his direction, you keep your defensive stance, still mentally gathering your bearings. The image of bare thighs flash across your thoughts, and it takes everything in you not to screw your face up at the memory. "Excuse me? Instructor Lee said that I was doing this perfectly fine-,"

Hoseok snorts, "Instructor Lee doesn't want to hurt your fragile little feelings."

"My feelings?!" Is he not the damn professor?

"Y/N, I know what happened yesterday was a little…unprecedented. But if you want to be taken seriously at this showcase, you have to focus and be able to handle constructive criticism."

"Taken seriously?!" At this point you're just parroting what he says, his condescending tone rendering you shocked into disbelief. You've quickly gone from defensive to full offense, advancing on Hoseok. "You, of all people, are the very last person to talk to me about being serious! Especially after that stint the other night. Can't you take your private business somewhere a little more, I dunno…private? How do you expect me to just unsee whatever the hell that was? I can't sleep, Hoseok. I have nightmares. Don't you know how much this sucks? How much more stress you've caused me?!" At this point you've got a single pointer finger digging into his pectoral with so much force he bats your hand away with a hiss.

"Look, I think you're exaggerating a little too much-,"

"And I don't think you're taking this seriously enough. This isn't a game, Jung. Don't you know how much I want this?!"

"You don't think I want this either?!" Hoseok barks back, appearing more than a little miffed.

"You certainly don't act like it."

He huffs again, shaking his head dismissively. "Look, I'm not ecstatic that we got paired together so last minute either, but we could work so well together if you would just stop being so tightly wound-,"

"-You're the reason I'm so wound up-!"

"Then let me undo it!"

The words hang in the distance between you, which Hoseok tries to close in a quick succession of steps that bring him far too close for comfort.

"Excuse me?" You lean away,  tilting your chin to glaring up at him incredulously over the bridge of your nose. Is he offering what you think he's offering?

"Let me help you relax," he reiterates. "If it means you'll be more compliant."

"You say that as if this whole mess is my fault.  And as if I'd ever get comfortable enough to let you put your hands on me again," you scoff.

"Y/N… You know I can do it. You know I can get you there. It's a matter of morals, really. Stop being so stiff." Your name rolls from the depth of throat in a low growl. His hands hover by your sides as though he's fighting the urge to initiate physical contact, fidgeting fingers curling into fists. Suddenly, you're reminded of every other hapless run in you've had with Jung Hoseok for the past four years, how they all started like this and ended the same. A long progression of tension, sly looks, flirting, wandering hands and an offer that you had never taken upon until your junior year because you never thought he really meant it. You had thought were better than that and had more self-respect than all of the other girls before you who had succumbed to such encouragement on his part. But that night, when you had caved in because he was so damn earnest and you had managed to convince yourself he really did care, was the night that had solidified the true nature of your relationship and revealed the real character behind one determined, dazzling Jung Hoseok. When he had left you alone, in a stranger's bed in the heated aftermath of a house party held by the friend of a friend, only to reappear into your life the next day with another girl on his arm. You had felt played. Hence began the year-long tirade against anything and everything Hoseok related - until now.

"Having a sense of self-respect and morality makes me stiff? What, so you wanna bang me against the mirror like you did to your other little friend?" you sneer. 'I didn't think you'd take me for someone so easily. "

His eyes flash, more than likely reliving that night too, the last time you had ever really talked to him outside of the studio. You grip the hoodie that's tied lowly around his hips and yank him an inch forward so that you can nose up to his ear.

"Fine. I'll let you help me, but we'll do it my way this time."

And then you're shoving him backward, towards the balancing bar, quickly untying the knot of his sweater sleeves as you go. Hoseok trips over his own feet, all of his usual elegance and grace lost as he struggles to comprehend your intentions. He grimaces when his back hits the wall. "What are you doing?"

Blatantly ignoring him, you place your free hand on his shoulder pressing down, the other still holding the sleeves of his hoodie together. "Kneel." His brow furrows at the command, but he complies none the less, slowly sinking to the floor.

A feeling of satisfaction thrums through your veins at the sight of him like this, knocked off his pedestal and quite literally a few feet beneath you. In a single motion, you ruck the hoodie up from his waist, pulling his arms up from under his biceps in the process. Stepping closer so that you stand over his knees, Hoseok awkwardly attempts to reach for your waist, yet you slip the hoodie around his wrists and tie them to the bar in a haphazard yet decently secured knot.

"I said you're not going to lay a hand on me." You hiss, wedging a foot between his knees, you direct him to slide his feet from under himself and prop his legs up. Much to your surprise, your toes brush up on his crotch, finding him already half hard.

You flash him a mocking smile. "Already?"

Hoseok only looks down at the floor in response, cheeks flushing red with shame.

"It's alright. You've always been one to take what you want." He watches you with wide eyes as you undo the strings of your sweatpants, gaze quickly flitting to the mirror, and then the door.  "Now it's my turn."

"What about the door?"

A bolt of panic runs down your spine. It's daytime, and despite it being so close to lunch hours, it is more than likely that anyone could walk right in and catch you in the act. However, you remember the light in the hall, the unlocked door, the unworried look, and nonchalant air that which Hoseok had carried himself when you had found him and that girl, and you realized that he didn't really care. He couldn't have. It makes you all the more determined, and a little bold.

You step out of your sweatpants and gradually lower yourself into his lap, pinching his chin to divert his attention back to you in a show of bravado. "Let them see, then."

Straddling his left leg, Hoseok's eyes become impossibly wide as you begin a steady gyration over his thigh. "You've always had such nice thighs Hobi. How about you put them to some good use."

Slowly but surely you move your hips along the ridge of muscle in his leg, one hand on the balancing bar and the other on his shoulder for support. The pressure on your core brings a thrill of pleasure down your spine, heat filling low in your abdomen. A breathless sigh escapes you, and Hoseok groans at the sight before him. You nearly laugh at the sight of his petulance.

"Didn't think it would turn out like this, would it?" Knees braced on either side of his legs, you grind down harder. When your kneecap brushes the bulge between his legs, Hoseok gasps, responding with an erratic buck of his hips. He tosses his head back, hiding his face in the crook of his right arm. The answer to that question would be yes, but he senses that you're not looking for an answer; you already have one. "Leaving the door open, not even the slightest bit surprised when I came through the door. You knew what you were doing last night." You seethe in his ear. "Think of how unfair you're being; fucking her while you're thinking of me."

Hoseok growls. "Who said I was thinking of you."

"Nobody had to." You roll your hips into his thigh faster, seeking that self-satisfaction, and Hoseok hates it. He wants you pinned to the floor, beneath him, his mouth on the alluring juncture between your neck and shoulder, and his hands on any bare skin he can possess. Instead, here you are, rendering him subdued while you use his body to get you off like some kind of toy.

"I-I didn't even know that girl was coming last night. I-I was waiting for you," Hoseok confesses, albeit reluctant. "Wanted to get your attention again."

"Well, now you've definitely got it." One particular motion results in the material of your panties to chafe directly at your clit, causing you to stutter. "Oh, f-fuck!"

You're ridiculously wet, evident in the dark streaks left in the fabric of his red shorts. Hoseok gathers the strength to look at you again, moaning at the sight of you working yourself on him. He flexes his leg and you falter again, whimpering. You're close, he can tell. For a moment Hoseok fidgets against his makeshift restraints.

"I could make you feel so much better if you would just let my hands go."

"Not happening," You admonish gripping his jaw with the hand not on the bar when Hoseok tries to toss his head back again in frustration. "Look at me - no, look at me."

Your partner's replacement is forced to watch as you whine and wriggle yourself to completion on his leg. The pressure of your knee on his crotch leaves little to no relief, and yet he bucks up in a last ditch effort anyways. When you finally hoist yourself up, shiny streaks stick to some places where the edge of his shorts meets his bare skin. Hoseok nearly gawks at the site. Meanwhile, you pull yourself together, hiking on your sweatpants and turning to gather your things.

"Hey!" He realizes your intentions and begins to panic.  You throw him a bored look over your shoulder, halfway out the door. In his stupor, he recognizes it to be one far too identical to his demeanor the other night. Except for this time, it's no bluff. "Untie me?"

You raise an eyebrow.

"Please?"

Instead of granting his wish, you slowly stride over to him, pulling out your phone to snap a quick photo of him. The fantastic, Jung Hoseok, God's gift to the world of performance arts, looking disheveled, distraught and tied up to a balancing bar. It was too good to pass up.

"Okay. I've had my fun." With one good yank, you release the man from his confines and stalk out of the practice room. "But don't think it'll be happening again."

[ventylatte]

15/06/19 - 3:08am

i wanna try replicate my mind yesterday when i was doing the dishes at 10pm because it was really racing lmao

as mentioned prior, dan’s video on his sexuality really made thoughts that already swarm my mind way louder than usual, paired with the empty shelf that’s been left empty in my mindscape that had once been FILLED with a-level knowledge and stress. it’s now home to a bunch of loud questions about my identity, ranging from my nationality, religion, where i belong (maybe i’ll rant about that some other day, but i’ve made it vocal to people before) to my sexuality. i’m not sure if this was a ‘realisation’ of sorts but a couple months ago on a walk home from school, i remember declaring ‘if i was white, i would have probably come out as bisexual a long time ago’

and yeah i still believe that, 100%!

because despite my coconut-exterior that i seem to project (i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i feel devalued), i am brown: i do still have asian-indian parents that wouldn’t be thrilled about their son or daughter claiming they’re gay (i say ‘claiming’ because that’s what it would be to them. i know it. ‘such a typical claim in this weird society. bound to happen, it’s a trend these days’, etc.)

i remember asking my mum what she thought about the lgbt, and if i remember correctly, she didn’t mind it, but didn’t want it in her family or ‘circle’.

now i ain’t criticising my parents. many would, but i really can’t. because they were born in a different generation, in a different time where the lgbt community wasn’t exactly as prominent as it is today.

but good god. one day an advert for that reality tv show, ‘the bi life’ i think its called, popped onto the tv, and my dad was all ‘what the hell is this? … freakshow’ (he muttered)

AND I FELT? HURT? no, ‘hurt’ is a strong word. just a bit… prodded at?

and i still can’t decide the reason. was it because i was wondering where i should draw the line with my dad’s remarks towards the lgbt community? i’ve always had this internal debate with myself about whether i’m sort of ‘silencing’ my dad by taking a stand in issues he doesn’t really believe in (primarily the lgbt community, he’s cool with feminism… to an extent lol). he always has a shout about how people can only say what they’re really thinking behind closed doors. would i be taking this away from him? where can i really draw the line in this whole counter-argument of my parents simply being born in another generation? i mean, sure, they aren’t hurting anyone outside (i really hope), but his comments do affect me.

that’s reason 1 i felt a bit disorientated. society’s a bit mad with labels, and i couldn’t find it in me to label my parents a pair of homophobes. BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERE ARE ADULTS THEIR AGE THAT ARE WAY MORE ACCEPTI- i need to stop before i get trapped in this circular argument that i’ve had 19218839 times with myself before - this is already so much longer than i thought it’d be lmfao.

reason 2? and here’s where i feel fake and dumb. something in me resonates with bisexuality.

JESUS, my hands TINGLED and my FACE tingled and it’s starting to heat up right now because i never, ever, ever got that in words, let alone WRITING. because that would make it a real, concrete argument. and maybe no i dont think so elina, stop right theeree duedddeee

i dont know.

i dont know.

sigh.

i dont.

know.

referring back to ‘if i was white, i would have probably come out as bisexual a long time ago’, i know that i would have come out as bisexual if i was white because i feel they have way less to consider when doing so. that’s not to assume that all white people have caring, understanding and liberal parents (but let’s face it dude, white parents are more likely to come around to the idea and other ideas in today’s society that rigid, asian parents would not. might just research into that, lol). a white girl can and will marry a girl if they feel like it, and that’s amazing, that’s so good, that’s so cool that they don’t have maybe other questions that halt this process like: - okay but HOW willing am i to marry a woman? - how plausible is a relationship with a girl? cause, ladies and gents and everything in between, these questions are always pinned under ‘what percentage of me would be with a man rather than a woman’ because fucking damn it, weddings are MAN an d WOMAN AND BITCH IF I AM WHAT IM SCARED TO BE WHAT IF MY HEART LEADS ME TO A WOMAN AND NOT A MAN. think of all the disappointment. white families aren’t as extended as asian families - the news would spread like a vicious wildfire. the prospect of bisexuality for an asian person or a person of colour generally is always pinned with this disgusting, self-denying statement that they really don’t want to think:

‘even if i am, there’s like a bigger chance i’ll marry a man so it doesn’t really matter, right?’

that bigger chance will forever stem from these expectations set by their families, i think.

and it’s always that question that makes them think ‘WELL shit i guess i aint then considering i practically negotiated my sexuality: u cant do that rookie, sexuality is SET IN STONE, so there’s no way you’re that sexuality. you’re only saying it because it’s a thing in society to be.’

it’s just why i dont believe in labels in general, and i love dan’s video so much for dedicated a section towards the matter. sexuality to me is fluid. the only thing that kind of makes it concrete are those labels. labels are great for some people: it gives them a name, a sense of normality in such a heteronormative society. but there’s a negative in that no one can simply just. be.

i wanna.

i dont wanna really.

sigh, am i just trying to align myself with society today? this label-filled society where your worth comes from how many labels you have slapped onto your blazer? it’s like those little patches those sporty, intelligent girls got in assemblies for being leader of the netball team or for excelling in ‘resilience’ or whatever that heck that means. those patches, except they have ones for ‘brown’ +1 point! ‘female’ +1 point! ‘sexually-confused’ +1 point! unless u think ur str***ht, in which case -2 points! where was i going with this AGH my brain isn’t being cohesive it’s just spitting shit everywhere.

another thing that makes me deny it all is my friend. let’s call her peach: she’s brown, muslim, pakistani, has very strict parents, but is still happy to identify as ‘gay’ to the world, and that’s amazing. but it sort of makes me wonder why i haven’t done that yet = thus suggesting ‘yeah im not REALLY, i would’ve felt it like she did in year 8, felt more passion for it - and i dont even have parents as strict as hers, so i can’t be!’ but her sexuality has also been generally fluid: she’s dating a guy at the moment, and has practically abandoned labels for the time being. goals lol.

what the fuk am i saying oh my goddddddd i can’t even make sense of it because i feel like im being super insensitive towards white people sigh forget it im going to bed, maybe i’ll string together something that makes bloody SENSE. its 3am egghj.

EDIT: I POSTED THIS ON RREI-CHAN AFHIAFAHIFA it wasn’t up for long, could’ve been so much worse, could’ve been on ryuga-zuki

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 015: Some Antics on a Boat

Previously on BnHA: Field trip from hell. Ride of the Valkyries played while about 200 villains appeared out of nowhere and tried to murder our beloved superpowered children and split them all up, thus setting the stage for lots of mayhem.

Today on BnHA: We meet the U.A. principal. Deku hangs out with Tsuyu and Mineta on a boat. Mineta gets a lot of focus, and I was prepared for it to be the worst thing ever, but it mostly isn’t, except for about once every four pages or so, when it kinda is.

(ETA: Yeah so he officially took it Too Far in chapter 17 and as of that chapter is now in fact dead to me. But I’m not gonna bother changing the recap, so you can all come along on that journey with me if you are so inclined.)

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 19 23 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

I really have to hunt down these color pages one of these days. I tried a brief google search the other day but it brought up too many pages I hadn’t seen yet, and I didn’t want to spoil myself by accident. guess I’ll have to be patient

son of a bitch All Might is in the break room all the way back at fucking U.A.??

here I thought there was a break room hidden somewhere in USJ. I mean, you’d think they would have one; rescue training has got to be tiring

he says he should be fine in another ten minutes. then he says he’s going now

but he immediately coughs up blood orz

HEY IT’S THIS PANDA WITH A SCAR!! I KNOW THIS GUY! well I don’t know him but I’ve seen him before!

holy fucking SHIT he’s the fucking principal??

what the fuck kind of I’ll-fuck-your-shit-up powers is he fucking hiding behind that cuddly face then

because I know it’s just an assumption, but surely the principal of U.A. has to be a stone-cold badass, right?

I can’t believe this fucking little gerbil knows Deku’s secret

now he’s fucking plugging the fucking superhero vitamin shoppe I can’t

and he’s holding up a tablet with a yahoo news article about All Might saving everyone and their fucking dog earlier that morning

that’s a nice little plug for you, tumblr. yahoo still owns this shit, right?

so this fucking rat praises All Might for being his good heroic self, but then gently tells him off and reminds him to take it easy

I’m glad he’s reminding All Might to take better care of himself, but...

you would fucking think so! and yet!!

oh my god now this guy is sitting down to have tea with him. he’s never going to make it to USJ at this rate

I have to assume the principal isn’t secretly evil, since if he was, he could take down All Might all too easily since he knows all of his fucking secrets. but he sure does have the worst fucking timing, jesus

though again, we still don’t know how much danger All Might would actually be in if he did go to USJ. those villains seemed pretty damn confident. maybe he should just stay here and enjoy some tea

he calls him “Sensei”... not sure if that’s just because the principal outranks him, or if he actually was his teacher at some point. it’s probably the former, but. hmm

and now we’re back at USJ! Thirteen and Iida are on the run along with Still Too Many Arms and The Bulky Guy with Slightly Racist Lips. (do you guys think they’re racist? idk I just think it’s 2018 and there are other ways to draw POC, Japan)

anyway, they’re fighting Dr. Neck who at this point really needs a new name because he’s still a shadowy blob and now he’s looking more like an octopus but Dr. Octopus is already taken, so

for now I’m just gonna call him Not Today, Satan. you know. cuz of all the Swirling Evil

Thirteen is sending Iida back to U.A. to let them know what’s going on since the communications and alarms are down! good thinking to send the guy with super speed. I just hope he has the stamina. they never really mentioned anything about that but I’ll assume he’s good to run however many miles back to the U.A. campus

that is, assuming he’s fast enough to dodge Not Today, Satan. but I have faith

Iida’s trying to argue that he should stay, but clearly this is the most useful thing he can do at the moment, especially considering that he’s the only one who can do it! just go, Iida.

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, CLASS REPRESENTATIVE

lmao and I was actually thinking the same as NTS here:

oh, just, everyone. in shounen manga, ever, since the beginning of time. but I’m so fucking happy you pointed that out lmao

back on the boat, Mineta is still freaking out very unhelpfully. he thinks they should all just hide somewhere until the grown-up heroes come to save them

meanwhile, Deku is being smart and useful and brings up a very good point that hadn’t even occurred to me:

basically, he deduces that the bad guys don’t know what the kids’ quirks are. so they have the element of surprise on their side, AND the bonus advantage of the villains underestimating them

I’m super impressed with this kid’s leadership and planning skills right now. I know he’s already showed them off, but I’m still mad about him not utilizing Ochako’s powers properly the last time lol. but this time he seems to be off to a great start

also, what a contrast from his first time facing a group of intimidating “villains” back during the entrance exam! he’s come such a long way so quickly

Tsuyu starts listing all of her gross frog abilities (sorry, I love her, but “I can spit out my stomach” is not something I ever needed or wanted to know and now I kind of want to spit out my eyes from the mental image).

so gross

Mineta becomes derangedly fixated on her usage of the word “secrete” and just. why

I actually kind of wish they weren’t loudly explaining all of their strengths and weaknesses to each other within possible earshot of the baddies (some of whom could possess super-hearing for all they know), especially barely three pages after Not Today, Satan chewed out their friends for doing the same exact fucking thing. but whatever

now Mineta’s doing something. what’s your power then, Mineta. something to do with grapes I’m guessing??

how did this kid make it past the entrance exam

LMAO

THEY’RE SO MAD. EVEN DEKU. THAT’S THE MOST STERN I’VE EVER SEEN HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE LUFFY AFTER SOMEBODY HAS JUST TOLD HIM THERE’S NO FOOD

sob now Mineta is crying

this is quality fucking comedy

oh shit the villains are getting tired of waiting

um this unsettling man with a grasshopper face just fucking broke the boat in half

so Mineta shoots out a bunch of panic grapes for absolutely no reason

literally Lambo and his grenade trigger-response

I confess, I really think Mineta is cute and somewhat hilarious when he’s not being a perverted shithead

(ETA: I was young and naive and I didn’t expect him to actually go and start feeling people up holy shit)

Deku berates him at first but then realizes that the bad guys are avoiding the grapes out of an abundance of caution!

Mineta freaks out again, and I was this close to writing down a paragraph about how I really empathize with him, since he’s just a kid and only like four days into high school, and all of a sudden he’s just thrust into this situation where he might fucking die (and probably die horribly at that). this close. but then he has to ruin it with a line about how much he wishes he could have sexually assaulted Momo before he kicked it

so that’s... great

but Deku saves the moment by quoting All Might while simultaneously doing That Thing I Fucking Love where someone tries to be brave and determined even though they’re also clearly scared. look he is trembling

Deku my son you are a constant delight and a gift to the world

oh my god

sure, just casually mention Kacchan as your inspiration for whatever heroic and probably very stupid thing you’re about to do next. go ahead, do that. don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine

...that is very Kacchan-like. like, the face and everything. he knows his shit

also, what exactly is he planning to do?

so he’s thinking that he can’t take out all of them no matter how extreme he goes. and then he says something about not sacrificing his whole arm, so is he gonna pull another stunt like he did with the baseball and his index finger?

GASP HE’S THINKING ABOUT THE EGG IN THE MICROWAVE

IS HE GONNA DO IT? CLENCH LIGHTLY DEKU!!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU

HE’S PULLING BACK HIS MIDDLE FINGER OH MY GOD IS HE GONNA FLICK THE WATER AND CREATE SOME SORT OF TIDAL WAVE

AHHH

THE WORST FUCKING STATE, LITERALLY MY LEAST FAVORITE!! BUT!! ALSO ONE OF THE SMALLEST SO IT’S FITTING!!!

YESSSS

EVEN BETTER THAN A TIDAL WAVE OMG. DUDE CREATED A FUCKING VORTEX

OH FUCK ME I DIDN’T NEED TO SEE THE AFTERMATH. WE ALREADY GET IT, JESUS

lkshdgk it’s not supposed to do that fuckk

Mineta is inspired, somehow, but doesn’t know how the fuck to direct it so he just throws more grapes

but now the grapes are actually coming in handy!!

looks like team rocket’s blasting off againnnn... *ping*

yay! and Deku’s not crying even though his hand is mangled! such a brave strong boy.

and then shawarma after

BONUS:

interesting that he thinks this is somehow “the right balance”

(ETA: hey Horikoshi, psa, literally committing sexual battery is not “balance” in any way, shape, of form. jesus christ. I love Japan for the most part, but the rampant misogyny there is completely ridiculous and I really need them to get their shit together already. #metoo needs to get the fuck underway there like yesterday.)

one thing I DO like though is that Horikoshi actually gives a very thoughtful and detailed explanation for exactly how he passed the exam! thank you for that! now I can stop wondering. I still have no clue about the invisible girl though lol

[ohoshi]

okay so tbh i have only revealed my kpop love to select people in my life IRL...buuuut im working on being more open about it bc these boys give me so much laughter and joy and it's good to be excited about things!! yesterday my mom discovered kpop and i came running into her room to be like omg let me show you MY FAV GROUP NCT. she didnt seem to vibe with the songs i showed her but honestly i get that cuz sometimes for me, i listen to an NCT song and im like ehhh but then i keep listening and im like wait this song is actually so good (this has happened with kick it, limitless, maw, work it...to name a few)

omg also yes i am familiar with tsundere and anime terminology!! i do watch anime - not as much as i used to, but i still enjoy a good anime :)) some of my favs are hunterxhunter, toradora, fmab, my hero academia, anohana...wow how many am i gonna name, anyway if you dont watch a lot of anime pls feel free to disregard this paragraph and we can continue talking about kpop lmao

HAHA i love that yes taeil go pursue your dreams (winwin) i support you 💕wait i also love that rj just says stuff straightforwardly!! like i think on some show (was it weekly idol?) he literally said, yea the company wants me to have an innocent image (but i'm not)...and i think one time a saseang fan called jeno during a vlive and rj literally took the phone immediately and was like can you stop calling...go renjun! but yea i feel like during their awsaz ep doyoung was kinda scared cuz hes kinda soft lmao (not a bad thing) but i loved the chaos in their eps!!

i liked awsaz!! for me, some eps were definitely funnier than others lol but i really like the concept and it's something only nct can do! the jaehyun/jisung ep was prob my second favorite even tho i cringed a lot but in the best way possible. i would LOVE to see them continue doing awsaz with wayv members!! like the ep with winwin/jisung (and henderey/haechan hosts) was so great!! also lmao jisung is just awkward with everybody, they could literally make a whole awsaz show with just jisung 😂 (also a side note: i love how he is still the maknae even after sungchan/shotaro joined haha he will always be our NCT baby 🥺)

as for what i didnt like...dont hate me but some of the missions were a little...slow for me? like in some eps when they just take the selfies and decorate it in the book i kinda skimmed those parts 😅 i think it would be cool if they had more missions that require them to actually do things with each other (i guess kinda like icebreakers lmao even tho i personally hate icebreakers) - like in the winwin/js episode, they involved the hosts and had them do some drawing thing that was funny. but actually i guess it also depends who the hosts are, i feel like some host combinations are funnier (whether bc of their chemistry with the participants or each other) so maybe that can't really be controlled

oooh wait one of my close friends is also a taurus!! love that haha (i dont rly take horoscopes super seriously (even tho i do think im kinda a virgo) but theyre interesting to look at)

i have some svt songs in my kpop playlist (i love hug (it’s so calming) and also my my)!! i think i kinda looked into them back in like 2016 but i wasnt rly a kpop fan back then, i will check them out now cuz i love me a talented and chaotic kpop group :))

p.s. for my ss gift hehe do you have any specific things you'd want me to gif? otherwise i will do something based on our conversations (which i think makes it mildly obvious who i'm gonna gif)!! also pls forgive me my giffing skills could be better but i try my best and they are 100% certified made with love 💖

ohh i understand that! my irl friends judge me for loving kpop so much (not all of them) but, frankly, i couldn’t care less because there’s nothing wrong with loving kpop so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my mom, however, puts up with me and my kpop obsession very well tbh she does pay attention when i show her their stages and songs and even some funny content~ and so far she loves jaehyun, minghao(svt) and jisoo(bp) the most (all 3 for their visuals lmaoo) dhagfdshgad as far as the music goes, she reeeeeally loves from home 🥺 (tho i really love those overproduced hype songs, so for me it’s not hard to vibe with them right from the start lmao and esp kick it and maw those were love at first sight! here’s a funny story related to kick it: as you already know i’m a dancer and bc i immediately fell in love w kick it i learned the whole choreo for that song, usually i only know chorus or the dance points, and my mother watched me and she said i was really good i could fit well in 127 ghdafgds ahhh what an ego boost thanks mom everyone should have you as their mom tbh)

no way!!! you love anime!! aaa i’m excited now!!! when i was younger i watched a lot of anime and i mean a LOT; i’ve seen everything you listed here! lmao not my proudest moment... i also really love hxh!!!! i also remember loving code geass, tengen toppa gurren lagann, neon genesis evangelion and even the gundam series (i’m a simple person i see mecha and i fall in love immediately lmao even my fav cartoon of all time is the one i watched when i was like 5-7?? it was a korean manhwa, hamos the green chariot, which is also about the big robots djahsd)  + all the shoujos lmao (nana best shoujo ever) i also really loved kuroko no basuke and fairy tail????? and all the popular ones (ie naruto, bleach, pokemon etc)

ohh i know that moment when he called the sasaeng out for bothering jeno hgafdagjdgah ICONIC we stan a legend 🤧✊

yeah i agree that some episodes were funnier than the others and some missions were just boring  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but it’s okay i guess majority of the ep is still interesing!! omg same!! i love jisung he is so precious and it would be amazing if he just stayed the maknae of nct until the end! (highly unlikely i guess but a girl can dream) they could definitely make a spin off awsaz - jisung and nct and it would be so funny lmaoooo and winwin is an awkward cutie as well so!! 🥰🥰 

>they involved the hosts and had them do some drawing thing that was funny; my thoughts exactly!!!! it would be so great if they keep involving hosts lmao it would be funnier and more interesting; and yeah some hosts combinations were definitely better than the others (lowkey disappointed that jaemin didn’t get the chance to be the host lmao wonder how would that look) i think that one of the reasons dy/rj and js/jh eps were so good is bc markhyuck and cl/jw were amazing hosts lmao

ahh me neither!!! i’m not too serious about horoscope, i used to read about astrology for the fun of it lmao and yeah taurus and virgo is a great combination so !!!!

AHHH I’M SO GLAD YOU LOVE HUG it’s one of my favorite songs 🥺 do it santa you won’t regret!! their music is soooo good!!!!! and the performances are next level 

p.s. you can gif whatever you want!! and i’m sure it’ll be great! <3 don’t be to pressured, even if you can’t make it it’s completely okay, i understand, you don’t have to! these conversations we’ve been having are the best gift already! i really cherish them! 🤗💚

p.p.s AHH I LOVE MFAL TOO (shocking) and ikr??? THEY GREW UP SO MUCH 😭 but esp jisung???? he reeeally changed omg!!! and chenle!!! now they look all grown up i’m 🤧 emotional

[franeridart]

Can we also talk about how Bakugou went from "weird haired guy" to "Kirishima. Change of plans". Oh man I didn't realize how much I missed the anime *cries*

BOI CAN’T WE I just spent the whole morning crying over seeing the moment Bakugou recognizes Kirishima as an equal animated nbd at all r i p me - I think this might be the first time Bakugou calls anyone by their name, actually, and I just!!! that’s because Bakugou heard Kirishima’s words and recognized him as a good partner and a worthy hero and someone whom he could respect and I’m gonna be grateful for chapter 133 for the insight on this for the rest of my always I !!!!!! have feelings g a h

Anon said:ok ok ok ok but but listen what about BAKGOU AND OCHAKO they are the most popular couple and the most cutest , i think you should try to draw them once i would love love to see this !!! of course just if you want hehe thanx

Ahhh sorry anon but I really don’t ship that - I mean, it’s true that I ship Bakugou with a bunch of people aside from my main two, but if they’re part of Deku’s group you can fairly assume they’re not between my Bakugou ships? And I only romantically ship Uraraka with Deku, Tsuyu and Iida anyway so! You’re probably not gonna see any romantic baku/ocha from me, sorry o

Anon said:Since we know what Bakugou’s parents are like, what do you think Kirishima’s parents are like?

I have a similar ask somewhere asking about Kaminari’s parents as well, so I guess I’ll answer both here?? As a general rule I don’t really like making headcanons over stuff I’m sure the manga will give me in the future, so I can’t say I’ve thought about this too much - there are a few things I work under the assumption of while drawing, like for example I’m taking for granted they both have at least functional families, considering Aizawa personally visited their homes to ask their guardians about allowing them back to school, and if anything had been weird he would have noticed

I like to think Kaminari got his quirk straight from one of his two parents with no mixing happening, and got the Kaminari surname from them as well, but that’s all I ever allowed myself to settle on as far as Kami’s family goes, everything else changes based on what I need for the current scenario I’m thinking about… I do often end back on him being an only child, though - in the same way depending on how angst or lighthearted I want it to be my ideas for Kirishima’s family change a lot, but generally I think I mostly fall back on the idea of him having a big family? In a scenario like that his parents are kind and love him a lot, but having many children and needing to split their attention on all of them might cause them to overlook him a little (it would explain his obsession with being flashy, for me) then again, who knows? I don’t know how canon you can consider the infos SMASH gives, but in one of the strips Kiri mentions working part-time, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have problems with money kinda makes me believe he might be independent from his family like that (unless he’s a rich kid, also very entertaining as a possiblity)

I’ve seen a lot of headcanons floating around about both of these guys’ families and possibly being related to villains, that would be cool too, though I’m not sure how much I believe it

I’m sorry this ended up being little to no useful at all lol as I said, I just shift between scenarios a lot - imagine settling on one and growing attached and then having to let it go once Hori proves it wrong, that’d be terrible for me

Anon said:Oh my god…we had a black cat called nitro !! He was super affectionate and high strung. Thanks for reminding me of him. great art as always !!!

You’re!!! the second person telling me they have/had a cat called that!!!! °O° is it a popular name for cats? I just called her that for Baku’s quirk tbh hahaha

Anon said:I would L.O.V.E to do a BNHA art collab with you my lord!

BOI THAT’S FLATTERING!!!!!! I’ve never done collabs before though, so I dunno if I’m comfortable with this? I’ll !!! have to think about it!

Anon said:Not only is your art adorable but how much you babble on in the tags is absolutely precious, you’re like a sunshine who always brightens up the day just by being yourself!

Way to make me blush anon oh my g o d!!!!!! I’m??? glad I can make you smile with my incoherent blabbering??? It’s super nice to know because tbh I just have way too much to say about everything hahaha (read: I dunno how to shut up. ever. rip)

Anon said:I just wanted to say your asks posts and doodles and literally just your whole blog in general brightens up my day so much no matter how sucky it’s been. I had a rough day today but the first thing I saw when I got on tumblr was one of your bakugou drawings and it made me smile when nothing else that day did and I just wanted you to know that. Also you seem like one of the most honest and heartwarming people ever. I hope you have a good weekend. ❤️

gODS what’s up with you guys trying so hard to make me a smiling and blushing mess here aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! thank?? you???? I’m really, really, really happy I could make you smile!!! That’s the reason why I post my stuff to begin with, knowing I could help you even just a little bit means a lot!!!

Anon said:I’m really sorry if I reposted anything!!!!! Its truly out of habit….😌 But really, I’m sorry. (By the way, your art is amazing!!)

Thank you!! And as long as you took down whatever you reposted, your apology is more than accepted! Thank you for being understanding! But that kind of habit is something you should really grow out of, anon - for most artists, if they wanted their art on other websites they would post it themselves, and as long as it’s about sharing it here on tumblr a reblog is more than good enough! It’s nice of you to want to share my things, and I’m happy you like my stuff enough to want more people to see it, but since I don’t have accounts anywhere else on the internet I don’t really want my stuff there either - a link back to the original post would suffice if all you want is share, wouldn’t it? 

About this, thank you so much to all the super nice people telling me they’re sorry about my stuff being reposted! There’s a lot of you and posting all the asks here would make this post insanely long, but know that I read all of them and I appreciate every word! To those mentioning they do tell people to take my stuff down when they notice it being reposted, thank you so so so so much, and to those worrying I might stop posting, for now that’s still not going to happen - I might reduce the amount of stuff I post for specific fandoms or ships, but I love it all too much and I love sharing my love for them too much to just stop. And thank you for all the nice words and compliments too, you’re all so kind to me !!!!

Anon said:I don’t know if you’re familiar with Dave and Buster’s (it’s a big arcade/restaurant for mainly adults) but I went the other day and all I could think about was “holy shit, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Terushima would have the time of their lives here” anyway, just thought I’d share that with you since I know you ship them as well cx

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we don’t have those in Italy so I can’t say I am, but this sounds interesting and if it’s bo kuro and teru I’m always up for hearing more! What kind of place is it? How does it work?? *O*

Anon said:Not a question or anything but I just found your blog and it is so nice??? Like all your art is amazing and you’ve made bakushimanari my ot3 and you bakusquad doodles are just perfect too. Just thank you for existing and your art and ideas just give me life. That’s all

THANK YOU OH MY GODS!!!!!!!!!! I’m so so so happy you like my squad stuff?? Lately they’re the most entertaining thing to draw tbh, I’m glad there’s actually people who like all the silliness hahaha I wish you the best weekend, anon, I know this ask just made mine, tbh!!

Anon said:LMAO when did Allen strip I don’t remember that

It’s in an extra! God I can’t remember what they were talking about so I can’t find it, I’ve been trying to since I got this ask (if??? anyone knows??? that’d be much appreciated???) but anyway they were hosting something? It might have been a character poll or something similar but I’m not sure, and Allen was The Host™ and at some point he started stripping and talking about added prices for it and if I remember right Reever and/or Johnny might have started crying for his forever lost and now non-existent innocence (was that a pun? possibly)

Anon said:OMG!!! I get so excited every time I see you posted something and now you just !!! uploaded !!!! all !!!! these !!!! BAKUGOU !!!! BIRTHDAY !!!!! COMICS !!!! AND !!!! I !!!!! AM !!!!! SO !!!! HAPPY !!!!!! (and they are all so adorable!!)

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THEM HOLY SMOKES!!!!!!! Every time I post so much all together I always worry it’s too much haha I’m sorry for clogging all your dashboards now and again rip

Anon said:I was so excited this chapter of bnha because I thought we’d finally learn Kirishima, my babies, backstory but then we didn’t and now I’m sad (im still holding out for him having met/seen Bakugou in middle school for some reason and being inspired or something).

That’s tbh a good headcanon I’ve seen around now and again, and until Horikoshi will finally stop holding back all the Kiri infos you!!! keep on doing your thing!!!! he for sure already knew of him because everyone did thanks to the sludge incident, so why the heck not 

(I can’t say I share the hc though, since until they fought together during the USJ attack Kirishima did think of Bakugou’s quirk as Everything He Ever Wanted™, but he didn’t seem to be much into Bakugou himself? I dunno I dunno Kiri’s very gay and got around to sticking to Bakugou like glue in something like fifteen chapters I can’t say we saw much of how he used to think of him before deciding he wanted to marry him lmao)

Anon said:I love Kirishima so much it’s genuinely confusing, like this boy is literally sunshine and I want him to be happy with his explody bf. The latest chapters gave me life because he is shining and I want the world to love him like I love him. Your art of him is beautiful and the best thing ever.

BOY THANK YOU!!!! I’m glad I can do him justice in your opinion? He’s SO MUCH and SO BRIGHT !!!!!!!!!! It’s kind of hard, making him just as good as he is in canon, but that’s cause he’s perfect how is he that perfect how does he even do that I 100% share all of your confusion anon when did I even fall this hard for that child

Anon said:I’m most into the voltron fandom tonight so if I followed every blog that was suggested I would be burried in more discourse than I can handle lmao so I will just try to dig through tags to find weeks

……that’s really one messy fandom you decided to stick with, anon, I admire your strength - but!!! as far as ship weeks go, since the voltron fandom is pretty huge maybe there might be a blog dedicated specifically to letting you know when fandom events are supposed to happen! You should try digging around for that!!! 

[othll]

every odd question because I too am extra

yikes yikes yikes this is going under a readmore because this is a lot also rip mobile users i’m sorry

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

I mean i already did this one but it changes with each shuffle so it’s whatever

Miami by Ariane Moffatt— i downloaded it over the summer when i was in Quebec and it makes me think of then it was such a good time i miss it aw

Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots— i am an unapologetic fan of my ukulele scream boys ok

Cliff’s Edge by Hayley Kiyoko— HA GAYYYY

Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)— again by a bunch of fuckin people because it’s from Heathers: The Musical WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING

Fools by Troye Sivan— honestly??? Bless him i love troye

Life Lesson by dodie— my fave what a gal i love her w all my heart she is so???? I could go on for hours about dodie clark

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

But i don't wanna moooove the closest book to me is Tipping the Velvet which is that gay one that I’ve been reading if that tells you anything so it’s probably something to do with the main character being Gay™

5. Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that i know of!!

7. What's your religion?

Don’t have one my dude

9. Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

I associate stuff that i’m into with points in time in my life and like… this is such a stereotypically emo response but probably fob and 21p because i was really into them when i was like 13/14 and that was like… when i really and genuinely wanted to die and i’d like to think that their music among other things (my own cowardice potentially, not necessarily a bad thing) is part of why i’m still here.

11. Do you believe in karma?

Yeah but not like “if you do bad things then the almighty god(s) will make you pay” more like, if you’re shitty to someone they’re gonna be shitty back cause that’s just how people work.

13. What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness would be like… anxiety probably, cause it’s stopped me from doing a lot of things and talking to a lot of people and it’s getting better over time i think (generally speaking, it’s very fluctuate-y so honestly idk) but there are days when it’s really bad and just!! Stops me from doing stuff and that causes me regretStrength would be, hm.. I’ve learned to force myself to do things pretty well, i think. A lot of the time it’s like.. Forcing myself to talk to people that intimidate me (a lot of people intimidate me yikes) and forcing myself to do homework that i don’t want to do/don’t have the motivation to do because Depression™ but as with anxiety it seems to be (maybe) getting (sort of) better???

15. How do you vent your anger?

Oh boy, i don’t. If i even get so much as frustrated— i.e. pre-anger— my brain throws me into a pit of self-loathing so deep that all i can do is cry because i’m! Really! Bad! At! Processing! Emotion!!!That was really sad i’m sorry a lot of these are sad questions rip

17. Are you happy with the person you've become?

In some aspects, definitely. I’ve pushed myself enough to become an involved student leader and i FINALLY figured out what university i want to go to— past emma started having panic attacks about that when she was 12 so finally getting that shit sorted is BIG for her ok— and i can speak two languages which is super cool and i’ve finally figured my sexuality out which is neat and like…. I have friends and that was quite the foreign concept to my younger self because i was pretty alienated as a little kid for a while there cause i was a little weirdo and now to have MULTIPLE GROUPS of friends is like.. Wow.. beyond my past self’s  wildest dreams. While i know i still have a lot of growing to do, i’m happy with the progress i’ve made so far, definitely.

19. What's your biggest "what if"?

Already answered!!

21. Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right: my cat, he’s asleep right beside me— well, not asleep anymore because i just booped his head with my handLeft: nothing tbh

23. What's the worst place you have ever been to?

Anywhere that my dad was at the same time as me lmao

25. To you, what is the meaning of life?

Enjoying yourself and finding success— whatever success means to you personally.

27. What was the last movie you saw?

In general i don’t remember because it was probably some random movie on TV, but seeing-in-theatres-wise it was Fantastic Beasts!!

29. Do you have any obsessions right now?

Hayden…. My dude….. My guy….. U know EXACTLY what i’m gonna say…… i’m not even gonna write it because you KNOW….. EVERYONE knows…….

31. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah lmao i’m lowkey a petty-ass bitch

33. What's the last thing you purchased?

The last thing that i got was a new bullet journal for second semester but my mom bought that technically— the last thing i actually bought was my rugby jacket!!

35. In a relationship?

Nah relationships are weird, I just got out of one fairly recently and— while it was on good terms and went fairly smoothly— i still don’t feel like i’m in the position to get into another one quite yet.

37. What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I don’t have one tbh if someone doesn't like me as me then it isn't worth it— my cat maybe???

39. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Honestly??? I was asleep, yesterday was a lot with school and D&D and it was lit but i ended up pretty tuckered out!!

41. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I would like…. Draw attention to the fact that there was a drowning dog and try my best to get someone to save it but like…….. I don’t wanna get fired my dude

43. What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Anything from Quebec because that was such a good time ahhhhAlso anything with ukuleles i love ukuleles

45. How can I win your heart?

Be cute and into cats and also girls that too cause like… yeah…. And just have similar interests!!Also i love people that are patient, not just with me but with people generally. It’s a really admirable trait, and it’s something that someone would need with me because i’m TERRIBLE at articulating myself vocally and it takes me a while to sort out how i want to convey things, especially when the conversation is emotional/serious.

47. What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Going to Quebec for that thing that i did over the summer. It was just— words cannot describe how amazing it was, the people were amazing, the stuff i got to do was amazing, I fell in love with Quebec all over again and got to practice my second language in an immersive— but supportive!!— setting, what’s not to love?

49. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."

Can you hear,,,,,, my HEART BEAT

51. What is your current desktop picture?

Already answered!!

53. What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

Probably something along the lines of “Are you happy/doing well/etc.” not because the answer is ALWAYS negative but it’s just… very unpredictable the answer changes very frequently and while sometimes the answer is a genuine “yes,” some other potential answers could raise a bit of concern….

55. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Nothing, i would totally fuck something up and cause a butterfly effect so i’m not even gonna choose anything. I choose to not do that no thanks

57. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

No one!! That would be weird!!!! I wouldn't want to sleep with someone that i barely know and am infatuated with!!!!! That’s weird!!!!!!!! ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

59. Ever been on a plane?

Yep!! I went to Cuba back in 2011, and then I flew to Quebec and back this past summer. They were like, six and two hour flights, respectively.

this took eight years honestly kms bye

[2centsofsilver]

Losing My V Card

Telling Brendon All About It! ~ SUNDAY, DEC 23, 2018, 11:50 PM ~

Alright, I’m here!

Katherine

Ok! I’m here

So yesterday Natasha stayed the night and we made out and she gave me some great tips, etc.

We went to Cafe Zola and the Kerrytown shops today and got some gifts for our families

Katherine

She left at like 5:30 back to Ohio. My anxiety today was through the roof. We slept in the same bed last night and I was so anxious about today that I couldn’t sleep. So I took more melatonin than usual not realizing the mg was higher than normal so I took like 3x my normal amount and then got scared I was gonna die so Natasha held my hand all night??? But what ultimately happened was, I was so anxious and then resisting against this intense sleep dose. And ended up not sleeping at all.

Katherine

So today I was a miserable zombie in a horrible mood with Natasha and felt really bad about it and worried about tonight because I wasn’t in a good place to calm the fuck down

And I just secretly wanted Natasha to leave so that I could go home and calm down so I told her I wanted to go back to my place early and she left like an hour earlier than planned and I was able to calm down in bed and stuff

Katherine

Then I go out to my car to do my makeup at like 6. All the makeup that is usually in my car for whatever reason wasn’t there so I had to search my car to find it for 15 min and couldn’t find my main foundation. So I told Ruth I was running late. I was sooooo fucking mad at myself for being unprepared and late and shit per usual. So I floored it to Walgreens, bought makeup at 6:30, put it on, Floored it to Kerrytown and got there exactly at postponed time of 6:45 on the dot somehow.

Katherine

So it was just this absolute shit show right before, as usual, is the point I’m trying to make.

With me? Lol

Yup!

Katherine

I was just really fucking mad and hated myself because this happens all the time

So I text her when I’m walking in, she tells me where she’s sitting and what she’s wearing, I walk in and don’t see her. So I’m thinking I’m at the wrong Sweetwaters. But then I saw her sitting by the window at a high top table. And she. Was. GORGEOUS

Have I shown you a pic??

I believe so!

Katherine

   She looked just like that, wearing this maroon pretty sweater and had her thick dark hair up in a messy bun on the top of her head. HER EYES were stunning. As beautiful or more beautiful than Rachel.

She’s super pretty!

Katherine

Yeah!

So I walk in v flustered because I’m late and shit and walk over, say hi and apologize for being late. She was super cool about it. She said I should go get some coffee. I come back and we just talk for about an hour and a half

Katherine

We talked about how I prefer cold drinks over hot, our families, our brothers, how we celebrate Christmas, her time living in northern Michigan and how much she hated it due to scarce civilization and zero queer community. We talked about Euchre and she did this thing where she asked if she could show me what her brother does during euchre by taking my hands and making them “milk a cow” over her hot tea lol

Katherine

And then she drank the tea.

Oh interesting lol

Katherine

Yeah lmao

And then at some point in the middle of a non-related conversation, she mentioned “lack of experience” and having “only done casual a few times” so I used that as an opportunity into the next segment of our convo

I asked her what she meant by that

And she basically told me that she’s relatively new to casual dating & encounters and has been “dancing with people” for about 3 months

Wasn’t sure what she meant but she said it’s a euphemism she likes to use

So imagine how a therapist has a full case load of clients

She explained she also has an active running list of regulars outside of work that she regularly hooks up with. And she calls it “dancing with people” as in, the dance of casually having sex with many people

Haha ok

Katherine

I joked saying I was glad she didn’t mean she wanted to go out dancing

Katherine

So she explained that something she does is talk to others about the others. Like all the people she’s sleeping with, she talks about the others to the others. I was just like ok whatever. I think she just meant she was gonna reference scenarios with her other people to talk to me about like examples of the kinds of stuff she does. Idk if that makes sense

Katherine

Maybe saying that it’s okay she’s talking about the others to me, like letting me know they’re aware of it. Idk.

So she started talking about some of the other people she’s been sleeping with and for how long, what those situations are like, very generally

Hang on give me a second

Alright

Katherine

Went blank for a sec

I think she went into all that because I asked her what casual dating/encounters looks like for her, and what she’s imagining/picturing for us

And she said something like “everyone is different but there has been a general/typical theme in how it tends to go”

Which is just, meet up, hang out, do something. Then go back to someone’s place

She said every encounter varies person to person

I asked her to elaborate on her lack of experience

That’s when she mentioned number of partners, and starting out nervous. She said every single person she’s “had a sex interview with” has been very nervous and expressed a good amount of anxiety

And described it as a common theme

So at that point I felt comfortable mentioning my anxiety

Katherine

I basically said, “Yeah I also share lack of experience. I have very very minimal experience. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen anybody. This past year I have become more sure of myself and what I want, become more accepting of myself and self confident, whereas in the past my anxiety took the wheel. I feel ready for this and am very excited, but do have a small amount of anxiety”

Katherine

Something like that

Katherine

And I was very grateful because that led her into a conversation about how anxiety is normal, all humans have it. How she and every person she sleeps with has it. And how every single “interview” (she used that word jokingly) she’s had recently has involved the same exact expression of fears/anxiety/hesitancy.

Katherine

She emphasized that multiple times thereafter; that our conversation was a very common theme in all of her most recent meet ups

That many many people show up, express lack of experience, uncertainty with their ability to meet expectations, and a relatively high level of anxiety. And that really was valuable for me. It greatly reduced my nerves and discomfort.

And all the talk from friends about not bringing up my anxiety.

I asked her whether what she’s looking for is entirely non-emotion focused. And she said no. She said that’s not possible. She said you have to be attached a little bit in order to trust someone and feel safe.

Katherine

So yeah it was honestly the most ideal conversation and setup. I increasingly felt more and more comfortable. She was very very easy to talk to. And I felt comfortable opening up and expressing anxiety, not feeling like I had to hide it. I even mentioned varying advice from friends about what to share/disclose about my anxiety and she very much reassured me, repeatedly, that having anxiety was not a turn off for her.

Katherine

That it was completely fine, okay, acceptable, normal, common, expected, etc.

I asked her what I can expect and she asked me what my “yes please” and “no not at all” lists were.

Katherine

I hesitated and she said “It’s okay if you don’t know.” So I asked her for examples. She told me that on her yes please list were things like: biting, slapping, and all the basics including oral. Her no list included things like bondage, cutting, drawing blood, anal. But that she’ll give anal. So I talked about some of the things I love and the things I didn’t want.

Katherine

And then I asked her what her preference around hair was and she was woke af as you said, in not expecting or asking me to physically remove the hair on my body. So I felt very relieved.

Katherine

I talked to her about my experiences with Katie who was manipulative/abusive, Jamie who wasn’t the right match, Mike who nearly raped me drunk, and Rachel whose partner vetoed me. She had a knowledge bad in polyamory and she apologized for what happened to me, saying it wasn’t gone about appropriately. I mentioned things like tightness and fear of pain, asked for open communication, check ins, gentle fingering, mentally freezing, and mentioned body image self consciousness. She said everyone has it and that it’s okay, not a thing to worry about. I said “obviously you can tell my body type through my clothes and if that were a dealbreaker for you, we prob wouldn’t be this far into this conversation,” and she said exactly.

Katherine

knowledge base*

She told me “It’s not supposed to hurt, we don’t have to make it hurt, it will be okay,” etc.

Katherine

I just felt all my anxiety fade away. I couldn’t stop smiling and felt so good and so happy/excited. I felt like I could trust her. She also talked a lot about trauma and filling the void, the idea isolation and physical touch. She’s very much a social worker and I’m grateful for that.

Katherine

Towards the end she said “We don’t have to do all of this in one night. There are no rules here, no shoulds, no have-tos. We can go back to your place right after this if you’re comfortable doing that, we could also call it a night and plan for another night, options are endless.” I thought for a moment and told her I’m feeling comfortable and would like to move forward with this at my place She asked if I was sure, that we didn’t have to, etc. I told her yes I’m ready. I went to the bathroom. Texted you, Natasha, and Rachel. I collected my mental and emotional bearings. Came back to the table and mentioned “being ready but scared.” She said “it’s gonna he okay,” and that set me over the edge. Got me off right there in my pants. Put our coats on and walked out

Katherine

She followed me back to my place in our cars. I felt good the whole time like “it’s finally happening”

Katherine

Came into my place, casually talked on the way to my room about why thI couch was covered in plastic and why my bed was covered in boards but has clean sheets (Lilah has been pissing everywhere). She said she literally does not care what my room looks like. But I thought it was interesting that Natasha and I just so happened to spend hours and hours at the laundromat last night washing my sheets and making my bed and cleaning my room, not even knowing this was set to happen.

Katherine

And my roommate JUST SO HAPPENED to be out of town. It was meant to happen

Phone dying give me a sec

Katherine

Tell you more tomorrow, dozing

DEC 24, 2018, 9:35 AM

Wow!!! I’m so ready to hear the rest!!

This sounds great!

Katherine

Yeah!

 DEC 24, 2018, 3:10 PM

Katherine

Oh I meant to also tell you, that I mentioned having never had sex. Like I was straight up but hesitant about it. And she just sorta shrugged like no big deal, not at all a turnoff. She said she had recently met with another person who had also never had sex. She saw nothing deficient in it whatsoever. So amazing

Katherine

I’m out shopping but will tell you more when I get home!

Katherine

I told her I enjoy dominance but to be more equal our first time. But I told her she could be a little dominant and talk down to me and stuff. I told her I was ok with her basically taking the lead with me. And she said that was fine, that she felt it had already been applied. So that was great too. It was all so ideal!

Katherine

implied**

MON 7:25 PM

How was the actual sex??

Katherine

On my way Home from target, I’ll tell u all about it I promise lol

MON 10:37 PM

Katherine

Ok I can message now lol. Hope you’re having an amazing time with your family I’m gonna just tell ya part II and you can respond whenever you want

Okkkkk so!

Katherine

She followed me back to my place. We talked on the way in. I went to the bathroom and got situated. My nerves were kicking in again but this time it was much more excitement and thrill and fun-type butterflies. I came out of the bathroom, mentioned I was gonna take Tylenol for a headache and then I glanced at her. She was laying in my bed on her side fully clothed, cute as hell, smiling at me.

Katherine

Took my breath away. I was so damn wet already My god. So I sorta blushed and went in my room, asked if we should have the lights on or off. She said hallway light was enough so we turned the lights off. I wasn’t sure what I should do so I asked her (that is basically how we went about the whole night step by step which I loved and deeply appreciated). I said, “Should I take off my clothes?” (I assumed the answer was no and that we’d get there but I was trying to figure out what to do immediately lol)

Katherine

So she said, “It’s ok, why don’t we just hang out like this here for a little?” She was so nice and could sense I was nervous so we took things real slow. She got close to me and sorta was sitting on the bed facing me, I was also sitting facing her. And then she sorta stretched out back onto her side smiling at me, so I did the same. So we were laying there on our sides fully clothed up close to each other. Whole time she’s saying, “Yeah, just like that, that ok? You doin okay?” etc.

Katherine

Felt very safe and comfortable

Katherine

So then she put her hand on my shoulder and kinda rested it there, kinda rubbing my shoulder and arms a little, asking if I’m doing ok, we got calm. I don’t remember what we were talking about but we were talking. And in a minute or so, I just sorta looked up and said “ok” and started nodding. And she’s like “yeah?” Maybe I said I was ready. Idk. It was all very natural. She was really really firm on getting solid yes’s from me before continuing because she knew I had been assaulted by a guy several years prior. So I’m like “yeah” and she asked if I wanted to go a step further and I nodded. She’s like “yes?” I’m like “yes” and then BOOM it was like a sex scene in grey’s anatomy LOL

Katherine

She pulled me in, dove right in, we started making out relatively hard. It was like, perfect timing perfect setup, and I was immediately good at it. Damn. She is a good kisser. I felt comfortable the whole time and used lots of tongue and all that. She was much better than Natasha lmao. I was just really loving every moment, felt like a learner soaking it all up. Like the tongue movements...we twirled tongues in circles over and over. Who knew that could be so exhilarating!

Katherine

She started kissing the side of my face, my forehead, all the way down my neck, my shoulder, she had her hand on the back of my neck. I was shocked by how IMMEDIATE the sensations were. Like what the fuck. I didn’t expect that stuff to feel SO GOOD

Katherine

I started kissing her face, down her neck, her shoulder, and put my hand on the back of her neck, and kinda gripping her hair. It smelled so good. Her hair is so THICK and luscious. Whole time she’s telling me it feels really good, saying “yeah” a lot and letting me know what she liked. I’m thinking “damn, this is either just how people communicate during lesbian sex or she actually thinks I’m really good” lol

Katherine

But she seemed to REALLY like what I was doing. Like at one point I put my hand on her back and she said “Yeah I like that. I like your hand on my back like that” so I liked being told what she liked

It was very affirming for me. Confidence boosting.

Katherine

Soon she says “I’d like to take this off you, if that’s okay.” I was wearing a red knit sweater. I was so excited for that moment for some reason. I wore it on purpose because of how smoothly it just falls right off my skin. So she slid it off me, and started kissing down my arms, etc.

Katherine

I said, “what about my shirt?” And she said “Would you like to take your shirt off?” And I said yes so she helped me with that too. And then I was just in my bra and pants. And she started kissing my chest

Katherine

I was kinda nervous to be exposed but she was like rubbing my stomach and stuff and didn’t seem repelled or anything and I was enjoying it so much so most those self conscious nerves were gone. By this point I’m completely outstretched. I asked her if she wanted me to take her shirt off and she said ok so we did. I kissed her all over, etc.

Katherine

Debating how detailed to go on this next part LMFAO

Breast play????? Is...... AMAZING. What the actual fuck. Who knew.

She started doing that to me with my bra still on and I was like already over the edge lmao.

We were still making out, kissing on the lips, etc, just a variety of all of it by now. And then she asks, “Do you want me to take this off?” pulling at my bra. And I said YES

AND THEN

Katherine

We took that off. And get this. By natural instinct I covered up. I literally covered my chest by kinda folding my arms in front of me, twisted over from back to side, and put my head downward. Like I didn’t even realize I did that. And she noticed. She was very good at noticing when I was less okay

Katherine

Because I’m REALLY REALLY embarrassed and ashamed of my breasts. Like really bad. Because when I got assaulted by Mike Johnson, the way he looked at them all confused when he realized they weren’t perky. The way he held them and sorta paused to think. The way he tried to get my nipples to come out even though I don’t have naturally erect nipples. I remember how badly I wanted to cry when he did all that. So I was really ashamed when my bra came off. I didn’t want her to see my chest. Isn’t that sad???

Katherine

And she kinda caught my eye contact when I looked down. And then I just laid on my side for a bit kissing her, etc. And we were facing each other side by side again. And she looks at me and she’s like, “You know. It’s helpful when I can see you.” I hadn’t even realized I’d done that, because I didn’t know what she meant. I’m like “Oh...haha, ok, wait, you mean like my face or the rest of my body?” And she said “Both.” She had paused. I don’t know how to explain it but it was like she saw a moment and caught it for me, and wasn’t gonna let me feel ashamed. It was like “let’s tackle this before we continue,” so we took a pause

Katherine

She’s like “It seemed like you were hiding a bit there,” and I just said yeah, and she was like “we are okay.” And I’m like ok. And she said ok? And I’m like ok. And then we moved on. I rolled back onto my back and let myself be exposed and closed my eyes. And she moved into my breasts and what happened after that was history lmao

Katherine

She starts feeling all around. I was blown away by how good it felt immediately. I remember that with Mike a little. Just felt really really good. I personally like hard rough play in this area and was planning to ask for that. And I pretty much did right away. She had told me she likes biting, both providing and receiving. I love receiving. So I basically just told her to do things and she did. It was all very exceptional. And then I really emphasized how badly I wanted her to hurt me. And she said “You also said you were scared about pain,” and I said “Yes but up here it’s ok.” So yeah I asked her to do the maximum. Pinch. Pull. Bite as hard as she can. Etc. Lots of pain lots of gain. I looooooved it. She asked me if I wanted her to SLAP me. I wasn’t sure about this. Thought about it. Said ok but not too hard. She did it once and i liked it so she did it maybe 2-3 more times. I know this is beyond detailed but I’m also gonna he copying and pasting all these messages into one consolidated blog entry on my private tumblr so yeah lol

Katherine

Gotta write it somewhere lol

Then she started rubbing a certain area and saying “you’re pretty dark here. You may bruise here,” and I said ok that was fine. But omfg. My boobs are SO SORE and bruised today. I’ve got hickies allllllllo over omgggg

I just bruise so easily in general, it’s insane

Katherine

So then I ask if she wants me to take her bra off. We do. She says, “Is this your first set of tits?” I’m like yeah. She goes “This is the first time you’ve ever played with a woman’s tits?” And I’m like yeah. And I’m pretty sure I said “I’m nervous” or “I’m scared” or something. And she said it was ok, “everything will be okay.” I said “what should I do?” And my voice was all fucking nervous and shit. And she said to just play with them. So I went for it the same way she did for me. And she again, affirmed everything I did just by her reaction/sounds but also by telling me.

Katherine

I was like terrified to even look at, touch, lick, or bite her nipples but I did and she loved it so it felt good knowing I was providing something to someone and she was enjoying it

Katherine

She said I was really good at it. Loved the biting. It went really well. At this point things took a turn (in a good way) because I asked her if I could straddle her other leg to get to the other side. And in doing so, my knee brushed against her down there, and the way my body was moving just from licking her up top was causing that to also happen down there so it was like a good segway into part II which i was so ready for. I think I asked her if we could take my pants off. So we did. She helped me. She brushed her hand up against me down there with my underwear still on and it almost sent me right over the edge. She’s like “Is this where you want me” and I couldn’t even talk. I nodded. But she wanted that yes. So I gave it to her. So she started feeling and everything and I told her I wanted her to take my underwear off. She asked if I was sure. Etc etc. and then she did. And moved right in. And I’m not gonna give you details but it was EXQUISITE. She started with her hands. Then moved into oral. Then used her hands again. It was just like. I had hit another planet.

Katherine

Like my mouth dropped open and I said “Holy moly” lmao

Katherine

The oral was just beyond imaginable. Idk if it’s like that for everyone but she knew exactly what she was doing it. Like, v skilled. And then I asked her to finger me. And that was the part during coffee where I expressed great fear and history of pain so she wasn’t sure and definitely asked me if I was sure. She said “you’ve talked about a lot of pain and tightness down here” and I said “yeah but I want you to try and just be gentle.” And she said “We are not required to do this. We don’t have to. We can do other things,” and I said “I know. But I want you to.” (I DID!!!) I told her it can be painful but a huge turn on for me when and if it’s not. So she said ok but said, “if anything hurts, I want you to tell me and I’ll stop.” And I said I will don’t worry

Katherine

So she worked on me a bit. Slow and gentle. I am not kidding when I tell you there wasn’t much pain. A little uncomfortable but she was able to get in there. I incrementally asked for 3 fingers. And she was able to go pretty deep without pain. There was SOME pain here and there. Some intolerable and I spoke up. But I wanted her to try it and we did. I liked it. Halfway through I was shaking from anxiety and cold and expressed that and she covered me up. It was super sweet. It almost felt even better all covered up in blankets and stuff

Katherine

We worked down there a damn ass long time

It was great

Lmfao @ holy moly!!!

Katherine

Then took her underwear off. I didn’t go down on her because she got very very tired lol. So I fingered her till she came. She fingered me more till I came. And then we kissed some more. And then we just laid there. It took over an hour till I came. And then it was really quick and fast and she was confused by how fast I’d orgasmed. I said “I can usually go again right after” and then literally masturbated in front of her and got off in like a minute. But it was still super fast and she was struck by that. Didn’t understand why my orgasm wasn’t longer. And honestly I’m not sure either. I told her after providing myself with millions of orgasms all my life, I sometimes wonder and feel as though I’ve lost my ability to have strong ones anymore. And she thought that was interesting. I mentioned “we’ll have to research it” lol and work on it.

Katherine

Lmaoooo glad you liked that

After I got off to myself she’s like “is that the first time you’ve ever got off in front of someone before?” And I said no, I orgasmed with Mike Johnson. Etc. But yeah

This is all so great so far, it sounds like you had a fabulous night!

Katherine

Then we just laid there and talked about my job lol. I showed her videos of my kids on the JCC tablet while we were still naked and panting which is probably wrong and messed up in numerous ways but WHATEVER lmao. I wanted her to see what I do for a living and she loved it. She said it seems I really love those kids and my job. Then she said she was tired and needed to sleep. I thanked her a ton and said I hope it was okay for her and she said I did a wonderful job. We both got dressed. I walked her to my door. We hugged. She kissed my forehead. And I pulled her in and kissed her hard on her lips. And then she left.

Katherine

She said when I get back in town to let her know and we’ll do it all again.

Basically I’m now on her “outside of work client list”

Because she has a list of people she regularly sleeps with and I’m basically in now. In the books. Lol

I’m so happy brendon

Haven’t stopped thinking about it all day. This morning I got off like 5 times in a row thinking about it and didn’t wanna leave my bed lol

Katherine

OH- there were 2 awkward moments. 1 was when I asked if she was comfortable fingering me anally and she said yes. She did okay but she said she had never done that before. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted and then I was mortified because I forgot that sometimes there’s a smell and so I didn’t say anything but I initiated we move onto something else. Like I was entirely clean back there but I completely forgot that sometimes that can happen. I didn’t utter a word about it but took the lead in moving back into something else lol

Katherine

And then the other awkward thing was an overwhelming need to pee as we moved closer to orgasm. She said that just meant I was close to orgasm. But I fucking know how an orgasm feels for me and this as very much a desperate need to pee so we stopped and I went to the bathroom and COULDNT PEE. She said it’s probably just anxiety and I think she was right. But then she said her hand got tired later and prob wouldn’t have been so tired had we just kept going rather than stopping and then starting over again lol

Katherine

But yeah that’s the end

As the JCC teachers sing at story time: “That’s the end of the story, that’s the end of the story, that’s the end of the store-eeeeeeeeee! It’s time to sing some songs!”

What song should we sing today brendon? If you’re happy and you know it? Ok! Here we go! If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!!

I diiiiiiid it brendon!!!!!!!! I DID IT! I DID THE THING!

You really did do it!!! I’m so happy for you and also proud of you!

It sounds amazing!

And like you’re gonna do it again soon

I’m glad she was so patient and comfortable and kind

Katherine

Exactly!! Yesss me too!! Thank you Brendon!

All day today, extra energy in my step. Fucking grinning everywhere I go

I TOLD SUSAN

You’re confident!

Katherine

I know!!!

Sounds like it was everything you wanted and needed

Especially in your first time

Katherine

Yes like a dream

Yes

Katherine

And no relationship needed. Like it was the perfect amount of everything just as is.

Which is great

Katherine

I don’t really want a relationship right now

Exactly

Oh also, 2 things I forgot to include. Both awkward

At the very beginning of her going down on me. She spread my legs and I cramped

Like leg cramps on both sides

Katherine

Embarrassing because ya know. I’m fat and I cramp up and she had spread my legs as wide as possible. So I voiced it and she acted like it was no big deal, completely normal, asked if I wanted to prop them up with pillows so we did and she adjusted them and no more cramping. It was like she knew exactly what to do or something

Katherine

And then the other thing was, halfway through the whole thing she said, “Are you familiar with sub/dom BSDM at all?” And I said yes (just from so much porn watching over the years). And she’s like “Well, one thing that tends to be common in BDSM, is the phrase, ‘You are being a very good girl.’ Is that something you’d like me to say to you?” And I wasn’t sure.

Katherine

Like the majority of me didn’t really like the ring it had because it feels fake, scripted, not real. I’d rather her talk down to me and TELL me to be good. But I didn’t like the “good girl” thing and should have told her. I said we could try it so we did and yeah. I didn’t hate it but it wasn’t something I’d wanna do again. I like being told I’m doing good, or to be good. But I don’t like that good girl part.

Katherine

Like that I’m a child and she’s a parent or something. Idk. Didn’t feel right

But then, the thing is, I have my own specifics that a lot of people would probably be uncomfortable with in their own sex life

So we are all different and I get that.

But I have kinks that I’d LOVE to explore with her that are def different and more uncommon. I’m assuming she won’t want to for at least one of them.

Which is fine and completely understandable

And then a third thing that happened was she asked me to slap her breast. Which I wasn’t uncomfortable with or anything. Just nervous and embarrassed to do??? I did it once. She said I did really well. Idk. What are your thoughts on these last few things?

[survivedeathvalley]

EPISODE 3 - “BLESS RANDOM.ORG” - BIANCA

Paul tried it.............. he really did huh!!! Its funny how even though I helped 0% in the challenge I still stayed. I've got the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad with me and that's all I need. As long as I have those numbers, I feel great. If we end up losing again.. bye bye Mattie! 

honestly at this point of the game my alliance is intact and hopefully we make it to merge or in a good place if there's a swap but im not worried whatsoever

Well, I stuck with Misty and Bianca, and Mattie is going to draw the flag, I think.  So this will be exciting, i'm perfectly okay with handing over the reigns to someone else during this challenge, hopefully it will earn us our first win! 

Alright, so the vote actually went as planned. Tanner went home unanimously while voting for Alex. This is great because it means that if I'm on a tribe with snakes that they have yet to embrace those negative tendencies. https://i.makeagif.com/media/11-11-2015/cVGFpC.gif Also, after getting voted out Tanner got online to message me (and everyone else according to the hosts) the word "fake". I'm just... https://img.memesuper.com/3bc6766bbe76cc8447a30d21e851df82_1000-images-about-gifs-on-gif-meme-guy-blinking_624-352.gif 

Tanner literally said nothing to me yesterday except what's up? I even gave him a response which I count as a chance for him to respond, no? Like... if you don't say anything to me during the day then: 1. How are we supposed to strategize if the vote is going to fall any differently 2. How are we supposed to vote for the same person - at all 3. Why would I want to play with you - that makes for a very unreliable alliance http://rs207.pbsrc.com/albums/bb263/slimkid_buckeye/animations/bang-head_zps471ffe0c.gif~c200

Also, our immunity challenge is flag making. Which... I'm a shady ho and I'm gonna say, works better as a reward challenge. Given the amount of people who claim not to be creative in this community making a challenge dictate safety based solely on creativity is a "no" from me. http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb4x3nlrJh1rt2432.gif 

Our challenge is fun though because it's kind of "themed" based on the sorting hat's opinions of us. And the sorting hat decided our tribe was full of the goody-goodies or is it goody-two-shoes? I don't even know, honestly. Anyway.. so I was thinking angels because when I think good I just... think of heavenly bodies? I dunno https://m.popkey.co/a7fc03/e09Oo.gif 

And then Alex, gem that I adore suggest superheroes! And I'm on board completely. These super powered people and all the good they do for the world are perfect. Also, potential for something really cute. Now, if I were an artist this would be absolutely perfect... but I'm not. And Alex already made something so that's neat. I think I'm gonna see what I can do to make it more high quality or something (maybe change it around a bit) since it looks a little pixelated, but yay!  It's adorable. http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/legacy.images/smosh-pit/122010/Batmanlovescookies.gif

I actually... lowkey hope we lose this challenge LOL "When bitches vote for me, bitches go home" Sound familiar Mattie? And just THINK how iconic it would be if Bianca, Gabby, and I were the sole members of Panamint and slayed the tribe swap

I'm still doing nothing this week and that makes me happy, i hope they don't need me, disconnecting for awhile is nice, i wish i could do it with my main account. 

https://youtu.be/hOcOVfi2l8E

I honestly don't know what I expected out of this experience, but it wasn't this. When I played Divergent, the cast was about 70-80% active throughout an entire day. But this time, it's only active about 25% of the day. The only two people who even say or do anything are Giruga and Dianna, the two people I dislike the most. I have to work from ground up with building relationships with these people because I haven't been present to do that from the start, and I'm worried that my window of opportunity has closed up already. I wanna get the two of them into a chat where we can stick together as the active people of the game (so far). If I have it my way, we can vote off William or whatever his name is. Even though Layla and Kat are more useless than he is, I think he's trying to be deceptive about everything (saying he's NEVER played orgs before, or how he has NO idea how to make alliances) while most people just conceal their personal lives. I find it difficult to socialize too and I have shared these laments with Dianna in the past because we both know it's difficult to engage in proper conversation with others without unintentionally giving ourselves away. I hate that. And also, this game is helping me finally go over the bridge for ORGs. I truly think this will be my final experience, and so far I don't have hopes that it'll be a good one. I'm at a crossroads with these games and my personal life, because I can only take one path, no turning back. I want to say that at the end of this, I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to be happy again. I don't know if I'm here for the right reasons, but let's just try to make it right.

I'm actually... very happy with the flag I made. Imagine if I win this challenge for our tribe after not being here for the last 2? Come on redemption arc!

I wish I knew what was happening. I've gone days without being able to get on Skype bc of the toilet incident. It wouldn't surprise me if they just vote me out lmao

https://youtu.be/33GLERbsEqY

Going to tribal sucks but hopefully the outcome favors my game. 

WHEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I won for our tribe.... and now I'm gonna get them to send me to the devils hole so I can search out some idols bicth yes!

Alex? Barely know him but an Icon! My time at the Devils Hole was short. I found nothing, but my main goal was to find new potential alliances if we swap. As I said.. It was short so idk if I was allthat successful. 

Tribe swap has occurred...

This is so ICONIC!! I got Bianca to pick Alex.. who I'm good with from Devils Hole I got Alex to pick ME I got to pick Gabby.. my ally from my tribe I got HER to pick Giruga who seems like I could get him on my side I LOVE BEING A MASTERMIND!

We swapped last night while I was away which is fine I'm still with Jenny. We've got work to do since everyone else comes from the same tribe but that's ok bc I found an idol! My first ever idol in my org career oh boy. I'm not telling anyone yet bc idk if I really trust Jenny or Alex completely yet, we'll see 

I'm really nervous about tribal if we go or we lose bc if we win Giruga could go home but if we win there's a chance the other 3 might have an idol

https://youtu.be/BPBgQ1QBXWU

So Giruga and I were talking He seems pretty cool and someone I could work with. He's the only one from his old tribe on this tribe so I think I could easily swoop him up. I am worried about the other 4 on our tribe noticing that us 3 Panamint members are close. I wanna work with Alex but I'm worried about his bonds with the other Zabrinskie members. Sooo yeah I'm just trying to make a deal with Giruga rn and hopefully if we go to tribal I'm in majority and my edit stays good! (I'm hoping CP4.... Last episode I better have gotten a positive edit and the one before that I probably got a negative one when Paul went home)

so i was late to the merge party... oops. i like the newbies on my tribe and i also like that now we're at one world, i can get to know everyone now! 

So one world, huh? That's a thing. Interesting to finally meet all these people and see what their like. I need to start making alliances, otherwise I'm screwed.

I...  Giruga and I are flirting by sending dog memes to one another I'm----   anyway, maybe this means that we can swing him over to our side to dominate the vote. ;) 

A fucking tribe swap, and one world. Imagine that. At least now I can start getting a feel for everyone that wasn't originally on Panamint. I've been talking to Dianna a bit because I remember going to DH with her, but sadly she isn't on my tribe so I can't really align myself with her. The bright side is that my alliance with Misty and Gabby (queens!) is all on the same tribe as me. If we can pull in another member of our tribe we could have the numbers to control votes if we ever have to go to tribal. Bless random.org for making me a captain <3 <3 <3

Dianna HAS to be either Dom, Nick or Nic.  Or Ashley but I'm betting it's Dom.  Dianna and I worked close together in Festive BB, and then it was revealed that she was a catfish played by Ashley >.>.  I don't think Ashley would play her again but Dianna's handwriting looks a lot like Dom's now and Dianna, then Ashley and I were a duo until she cut me at final 3 after winning the final HOH!   but I've played two games with Dom, hosted him once and he's hosted me once, I KNOW HIS TYPING STYLE AND the putting 'ME' after everything anywhere, that has to be him and I'm taking notes.  

So we lost.. it sucks. However it gives me more air time so? I love a good bright side! Anyway, of course Gabby/Bianca and I start talking. Apparantly Alex/Kai are pulling her into an alliance. Alex is cancelled. I mean.. how dare he not include me. But anyway. Adelaide may not have spoken to me yet but... Kai, I've got my eyes on you. For now I'm gonna work on Giruga wish me luck!

my alliance didnt want to throw this, but I did. so I performed poorly. I submitted a score of about 3000, which isn't great by any means. If my tribe loses, I'll claim that my second submission (of about 5000) was not scored and I'll make a very public argument over it. of course, the hosts cannot do anything, and effectively send my tribe to tribal council :) then, I'll flip on the old titus bitches and send one of them home (PROBABLY Kat because I don't like the game she plays) I want to go the distance with William and Dianna and Giruga, but Kat is way too unknown for me to ever trust her enough to keep her around. I'll start talking to the three other people on the tribe and hopefully get them to turn their sights from the bigger threats of Will and Dianna. For my strategy, Will and Dianna will be the perfect shields to take into another swap but also the merge. They've got numbers swarming them and I want to minimize our status as threats by having five of our original tribe members going into a merge, and I know that I'll be deceiving them bad, but I hope they don't hold a grudge. Although I'm turning over a new leaf as a player by truly wanting to stay loyal to big threats, I'm still playing the same, old, jaiden way

At this point I don't even have to try at challenges bc I'm always on the winning team *giggles*

Giruga just told me he wants to work with me and the other neutrals Which is the best news I could've heard right now!!!!! I trust him a lot and him plus us three makes four. Tbh I don't really care who goes home between Kai or Adelaide or Alex at this point. I'm just excited to have numbers 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXtP_vOxDzA

IT ONLY TOOK LIKE 800 TIMES AT THE DEVILS HOLE BUT I FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING GAME CHANGING. I have the ruby idol, which could automatically makes a rocks situation if I feel festive enough for it. Hopefully I won't be in a position to use it for a while since I now have an alliance with Misty/Gabby/Giruga in addition to my alliance with Misty and Gabby. I feel good about having majority on the tribe, but I'm trying to stay close to Dianna since she's on the other tribe. I think I'm gonna give her my glow stone when I'm done with it, so that way I can prove that I trust her. I just hope I'm not making a huge mistake.

Aaaa whatwhat isit haopening?!?!!?

I can't make a video right now, but in the event that I get voted out tonight I just wanted to say a few things. So far I've aligned myself with the Neutral tribe and I'm really hoping I'm not being screwed over... because I seriously want to work with them, especially if it means down the line I can flip the game on old Titus. Please just let me survive my first actual tribal!!!!

Help I am being held hostage and the only way to get my freedom is if I make a confessional.

I AM PROB GOING HOME I AM NEVER ON

EP 3 EDGIC