#these medical bills are killing me
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One of my favorite activities is going through my stack of mail. I get to throw away the stack of ads and then I get to look at the bills I still haven’t paid
#personal#these medical bills are killing me#fuck my $7000 deductible and fuck the company I work for#another fun thing I did today was get an official diagnoses#cry about it#make Mac and cheese to feel better (this will surely fuck up my stomach)#make the nice Mac I’ve been saving for a while bc I deserve it#only realize once I’ve made it and eating it that it expired in January 2021#and that’s why it tastes bad
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the chapter stories in the one piece manga are so like. ok half the time its cute like "ace makes friends with a little milkmaid" or its just whatever "enel goes to the moon" was supposed to be. but every now and there there's "the only reason rob lucci survived after enies lobby is because the rest of CP-9 got together and put on the biggest talent show this town has ever seen to pay for his medical bills" like HUH?
#why did they literally put on a street talent show to pay his medical bills why was that really what happened#its so unserious you guys were KILLING last arc.#one piece#in general though they are awesome like when i saw camie all the way back in the alabasta chapters i was like ! i know her!#rob lucci#enies lobby#cp9#honestly lucci gets less and less serious to me by the day
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Love getting $50 in overdraft fees for a fucking dollar banks are a scam and I’m getting violent
#it’s not like I have two thousand dollars in medical bills I’m struggling to pay off#and another $200 for dental work I got saddled with bc my dentist is incompetent#kill me#vent
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A handful of animations I've done over the month!
#My hands n my head are becoming more and more restles#I've gotta be constantly doing something I consider “productive”#But thankfully animation fits that bill lol#I feel like a shark#It's like my insides go sour when I'm still for more than 20 minutes at a time idk why#Maybe adhd#I can't medicate it anymore tho cause two cardiac episodes that almost killed me XD#A bit of a vent/ramble here ig#But the point is animation is fun! I wanna do it more. Might as well!#Alright here's some actual tags:#Animation#2d animation#Digital animation#Art#Digital art#Animations#Animation compilation#Animator#animators on tumblr#Animation art#Dragon animation#Practice animation#Dog animation#Flight animation#Run cycle#Run cycle practice#Run cycle animation#My works
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Taylor Swift at the 2023 Grammy Awards
#taylor swift#2023 grammys#red carpet#makeup#i love the eyeliner#but the visible lash band is killing me on the inside#also this is a better shot of the earrings that cost more than my medical bills
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*anon magic poof, now Alastor has every Pokemon game in existence and the systems required to play them*
I for one would like to enable this behavior
YAY!!
NOO TAKE THAT SHIT AWAY
TOUCH IT AND YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU STAYED A BOX HEAD.
Woah
Okay dude im srory
ALASTOR NO
I'M GONNA BEAT ALL THE POKEMON GAMES AND TAKE OVER POKEMON. I WILL RULE POKEMON AND BE THE #1 GYM LEADER!
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH---
BANG
THUD
...
Did you just
did you just knock him out
It was getting unhealthy :(
#THESE MEDICAL BILLS#THEYRE KILLING ME#hazbin alastor#hazbin vox#one sided radiostatic#hazbin valentino#hazbin velvette#av3#ask blog#roleplay#hazbin hotel#onewaybroadcast
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A thing I pre-ordered months ago has shipped!
What's the thing?
Keepsake Quilting, and several other quilt companies/stores, put a sort of gift box together with fabric, notions, patterns, and gift cards in them. You don't know what you're getting, making it a surprise. I have never purchased one because they're expensive. This was 50% upfront, 50% when shipped, for a total of $150. Considering how much is in it, and what reviews were left the last several years, it's a steal. Plus, I wanna treat myself after having such a stressful and unpleasant year.
My mom and one of aunts have ordered such boxes in the past, but according to my mom, they're disappointing because she has so many of the things in the package, or no use for many of them. Rulers (some of which cost $30), needles, rotary cutters and extra blades (blades can be $10/each, new cutters up to $50), fabric marking tools (chalk pencils, disappearing ink, etc), precut fabric collections (jelly rolls can be $80, fat quarter collections up to $100 depending on number of FQs), and yardage ($12.99-$21.99/yard). She's been disappointed by "ugly" fabric too many times.
I, on the other hand, have significantly fewer tools. I make things for people to buy, and some folks love fabric I cannot stand (like x-mas and patriotic prints). There have been fabrics I consider well and truly hideous, and those I list in my shop or sell to people here. One person's trash is another's treasure, right? I've met people who think pastels are ugliest things to have ever existed. I think baby pink and green military camouflage look fantastic together, as well as turquoise and light hemp brown or terracotta and peacock blue. My mom finds them hideous. I think pink and any shade of brown look terrible together, or red and khaki (likely from working at Target and seeing is everywhere). Again, personal taste.
If any of you ever fancy treating me to one of these random collections of fabric and/or notions, feel free to do so. They're the sort of surprise I enjoy (that and people purchasing my work, especially from my shop). Sure, there are things that may he of no use to me, but others can use them. Nothing goes to waste.
This package will be arriving on November 18th, and has me giggling with excitement!
#words from the artist#my year has been filled with my husband nearly dying and us having thousands of dollars in medical bills to pay AFTER#the financial aid program forgave three of the six bills. we have around $5k of thag left to pay off#and one of the bills has gone to collections#plus my ear issues that cleared up after over six months of torment. my husband had to quit his previous job because working in#kitchens was slowly killing him and is now working fulltime in theory but not getting enough hours#i've sold virtually nothing and have had to beg for aid because not enough money due to lack of hours and lack of sales#my asthma throwing a fit and my sewing room being entirely too hot to work in and remaining that way for weeks at a time#then my left wrist being injured and leaving me unable to do virtually anything.#my husband then being taken to court by Unemployment three years after receiving the money. oh and being denied Unemployment#this year so for 10 weeks were on thoughts and prayers while he hunted for a non-kitchen job#plus his major surgery over the summer that was 100% covered by financial aid because we opted for a different hospital#there have been good things like he has insurance now and i'm abke to walk without feeling like i'm walking on glass#plus a few commissions over the summer. but those have been among the very few good things. oh and he won his court case#i would just like to have the rest of the year be filled with good things like all or most of my listed quilts selling. someone#commissioning me to finish the quilts i have listed as available to handquilting. the tops are finished but if i finish the quilts#completely they're gonna take up sooooo much space. even folded and rolled up. i store them in plastic bins to protect them but the#bins take up a lot of space. people praise my work and tell me hoe much they wanna buy it or will buy the things as soon as i list them...#and then no one buys them and the things just hang in my closet or rest in a bin. it's extremely disheartening to be repeatedly#disappointed. it has made me cry and question if it's worth making anything at all.
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My adhd prescription is now $87 for a 30 day supply
#i asked for a new medication or a higher dose of current meds bc they feel useless now.... and she gave me a higher dose.... but i had no—#—idea it would be so expensive.#this is another basically $90 monthly bill. i want to kill myself#shit isnt funny anymore
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Taxes 🧍
#🧍🧍🧍#I'm gonna be deported bc i mess this up#and i was like can't i just try my best---- won't that be enough my situation is weird i just move--#manager: there is no tried the irs will kill you if you fuck it up#it's becoming clear the risk tolerance between me and those around me#when it comes to fucking with the law#bc i have been very: wtf r they gonna do about it#and everyone around me has been: DON'T TRY IT THOUGH U PSYCHO?!?!???#me: might just fuck around and find out what happens if I don't pay this medical bill#my manager stressed for me: do NOT?!?!??? does the word deportation mean nothing to u
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I hate my fucking country so goddamn much. I can't stop thinking about killing myself because I have a cavity. I've never had one before so I have no idea how much a filling costs, but there's no way my insurance covers it because it's the dog shit absolute bare minimum free option. And I have no way to pay for any sort of medical bill; I can barely do rent. A cavity is like the most normal medical problem possible and suicide is my first impulse to deal with it because this country is a joke that does absolutely nothing to provide for anyone
#writing this out did actually help a lot because it forced me to look at it logistically to explain it#i am 1000% going to go into medical debt#which is awful#it's a condemnation on humanity that the term medical debt even exists#but i kinda forgot debt exists when i was catastrophizing#in my head it was you have to pay this who knows how large bill immediately or we're gonna take your home#but i can talk to the dentist about payment programs#it's not like they can seize a house i don't own#i will have to give up any and all little treats to get out of debt as quickly as possible though#and knowing what medical prices are like in this country that likely means a span of years#I've been saying it a while but i really need to get a second job#which will also make me want to kill myself#but it will at least help with bills#suicide mention
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can't decide if the headache i have had for days is a gum thing or a sinus thing or both but it's pairing really well with the shoulder pain i've had for weeks lmao. mystery chronic illness is awesome
#i mean i'm pretty sure it is a combo of pots and heds and long covid but#i don't have money to pursue a real diagnosis or treatment of any of these things#so i just keep self medicating & going to my multiple manual labor jobs that will make all of my mystery illnesses worse before they kill me#mwah! <3333 i don't want to live like this anymore!#my chronic pain keeps getting worse bc of the manual labor & that pain stacked on the psychic pain of being in constant ptsd flashbacks for#the last month is making it impossible for me to get anything done & it's also turning me into a much meaner person than i even am as#a baseline lol#sorry to be vulnerable on main but i'm in excruciating pain emotionally and physically at all times and i can't cope w it anymore#i literally do not want to live like this anymore 😎 but i gotta go to the candy store in a couple hours so#time to load up on pot and ibuprofen!#i owe so many people texts and am behind on so much admin work for the salon and my bitch ass theatre company#but i just have to lay in bed and save my spoons so i can drag my bloated carcass into either of my jobs so i can be a good wage slave#anyway thanks for reading lets all manifest me making lots of money this weekend!#i've been short on bills every month since i got hurt despite how much i work & i can't fucking catch up on anything bc of that so like#would be very sexy if i made enough money before the first to cover my basic living expenses teehee#i prob won't tho lmao womp womp
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me: in the worst depression i’ve been in in ages, more broke than i’ve ever been in my life, bank account $2, credit card maxed out
my medication: i kno i used to cost $25 for 30 pills but now i cost $110 for the same amount 🥰🥰🥰 kill your self.
#so behind in bills that idk how to keep up and now this medication and all my other ones i’m sure have gone up#and some of those i need to LIVE#this one is one i could technically do without but i really fucking shouldn’t bc i am NOT mentally stable if i’m not on it lol#but i shouldn’t HAVE TO!! but now i will have to bc i don’t even have enough money for groceries lfmao#i wish i was dead i am being so for real right now how am i supposed to fucking live like this#AND i missed two shifts bc i had covid so my pay on friday is about to be like 300 which is nowhere near enough to cover everything#fucking kill me kill me kill me kill me.
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//uhHh gunna go on a small hiatus due to not having internet+other (ill expln in the tags c/tw vent/rambling)
#// i owe like 300+ for my internet ($200+ to reactivate) reason i havent been able to pay it was due to paying rent/bills/groceries/gas#and medication(for my partner) and weve applied to a better job but we need funds to pay for the livescan to continue/finalize the hiring#process but sadly we wont be able to pay rent this month due to some circum's sothats sm ;u;#and aside from all that both of us going thru heavy depression and mental fog#we want to hang out w irl friends but feel like we cant cuz were always broke (our friends still live w their parents/have a safety net) an#we feellike a buzz kill cuz we cant pay for our own meals or afford to go out in general just feeling left out causing us to be depressed#and not wanting to go out/be invited out#we had one friend lecture us abt money when its like dude you&gf pay $200 in rent to ur parents; we live together(w my retired/disabled MIL#and we pay rent household bills groceries gas car stuff medication we get paid bi weekly so like first/ending monthweek checks are for rent#and the mid week check we have to save accordingly for rent but were cured w the pharaohs curse cuz whenever#we have money that we plan to get alil smth for ourselves something goes wrong w the car#like we cant do shit and honestly it feels like someones praying on our downfall or smth cuz its every fkn time we cant catch a break#so yeaa gunna go on hiatus dunno how long tho but wont be too long but i will still be drawing so maybe expect some art dumps#ily guys thank you for putting up w me i dont ghost on purpose im just always depressed and need to be distracted or else the urges comebac#trying to be okay but its hard but i need to grow up#//i have my parents but theyre going to financial hardships too so they cant help and my sisters cant help cuz older sis started a family#amd my twin sis lives w my parents#my mom started working but hadda stop due to having a grapefruit sized tumor on her ovary (which is the other main reason4 my depression#and dad could care less abt my moms condtion (hes the reason for her suffering but ahe refuses to leave him#vent post#sorry went off on a tangent#but istg if i lose my mom im going to fkn hurt him cuz i already lost my dad (my FIL) and i will not be able to mentally recover#like i was there when we got the phone call (couldnt be at the hosptial due to covid reg.) i dont ever want to go thru that heartache again#edit if youd like to help me out i have comms open and i have a cshpp if ur feeling generous ;; $altereghost
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#i need to be honest with myself too#it is damn scary leaving the security of my job and the house I’m in right now to try to make it living in Canada#but I have all of the credits I need for my master’s degree#so not only do I feel like I’ve worn out my welcome in the linguistics department here#I’ve started feeling kind of isolated from literally everything#i don’t know who to turn to for help because everybody’s already so busy#i don’t know what to do while I’m waiting around to apply to study at McGill university#i want to write an article and get it published because maybe that will set me apart from all the other people who are going to apply#but I don’t know what to write about. i don’t feel like anyone gives a flying fuck about Canadian dialects of English except me#what could I say about them that would get people to care??#i want to talk about the construction of Canadian national identity; about Canadian Multiculturism and how it’s still quite hegemonic#why is so much of a national identity tied up to place? is that really what gives a group its identity?#I feel like places help to anchor shared experiences across time but do they really give a group their identity?#but why is that important? i don’t know!? why do I have to justify my entire existence??#if I want funding for my research I have to prove to someone that what I have to say matters. what if it’s not that deep?#what if doing this research helps me to follow a dream I have? a dream that the american dream could never promise me?#what if I dream of living in a place where I don’t have to worry about giant medical bills?#what if I dream of living in a place where I don’t have to drive for 40 minutes to get to an ice rink?#what if I dream of being able to go to the beach and eat seafood that doesn’t cost 10000 dollars??#what if I want to listen to bagpipes without being reminded of the redneck-ass piper who threatened to kill me because I’m queer?#or the old guys in the pipe band who basically sexually assaulted me?#what if I want to live in a place where I have room to spread out and not in someone’s storage room??#what if I’m tired of being stuck in the same ‘safe’ place for as long as I have been?? what if I want my life to begin already?????#why should I have to justify that? just please let me out of here. let me see the world. let me live.#let me move on
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Unsolicited invitation to imagine a rainbow. In the perfect moment when the rainstorm has passed over and beyond where you are, the sun shines from the west and refracts in the retreating rain. The starlight scatters and bends, creating an arc across the sky. The air is comfortably warm and easy to breathe. I hope that things get better for you soon.
Thank you. It's been a rough year thus far, and I need good things to happen.
#chaosfay answers#last year was a train wreck and ended with Jasper dying and me getting diagnosed with eustachian tube dysfunction#this year? bubby nearly dies and has emergency surgery and diagnosed with diabetes and high af blood pressure#and he had to quit his job because it was literally killing him. he also needs his gallbladder removed asap because it's full of stones#my xbox broke and will cost $200 to repair the HDMI in port because it separated from the pad. my PC had a complete#hardware failure and needs to ve replaced and the washing machine broke and needs to be replaced#and i need to make a hefty amount of money with commissions to cover all this and pay off the remaining vet bill#and one of Bubby's medical bills from an unrelated emergency#all i want is money atm because money will solve 90% of this shit
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The problem with being a lowkey hoarder is that every time it pays off (read: need an old bill or document others wouldda thrown out) it reinforces the Need To Hoard
#personal;#i finally collected together all medical bills i can still easily find from the year#i need to pay my GP and then. set up payment plans on the three that went to collections and the one that's ALMOST in collections#and those will go to the credit card bc i have No Money#but i plan on trying again for disability once the cost of living increases and i want my shit together for lawyer shopping#there are only like. 2 or 3 in the area and one of them refused me outright this year bc i work#(despite the fact that working is killing me and myssi says i can still make up to like $1000/mo without losing disability bc work creditsl#so my hopes aren't high but an out of state firm gave me advice and seemed to think it doable so like hopefully
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