#they also released a new mini for the first time in 5 years lol how could they not be my number one this year?

[roscoehamiltons]

if there’s one non f1 thing u need to know about me is that infinite are my number one favourite boy band and music artist of all time 💛

rest of my top artists and songs under the cut

didn’t expect shinee to make it to my top 5 tbh (i think the next top artist would be either taylor swift or txt), the top 5 songs aren’t surprising to me at all although maybe it’s cringe that a jonas brothers song made it on 😬 (in my defence, I haven’t streamed them since the joe/sophie divorce news has come out)

[solecize]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐃 | 𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘.  as  you  attempt  to  claw  away  at  keeping  your  title  as  the  nation's  sweetheart  following  a  dispatch  scandal  that  put  a  pause  on  your  career  for  a  nearly  year  long  hiatus,  everyone  in  your  circle  and  your  company  seems  to  tip-toe  around  you.  you're  a  monster,  a  diva,  an  explosion  waiting  to  be  set  off.  they  go  on  to  release  the  staff  around  with  NDAs  regarding  your  dating  leak  and  hire  a  new  team  altogether  out  of  necessity.  amongst  them  is  the  straight-faced  irene,  the  quiet  stylist  with  a  mastermind  that  vows  to  help  you  in  your  return  every  step  of  the  way.  she  guides  you  through  the  next  chapter  of  your  career,  becoming  your  bravery  when  you  couldn't  be  your  own.     𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. irene x idol!reader 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. swearing 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 2.0k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.  this is probably the first piece of fiction i’ve written in 2 years so its a lil rough sorry lol anyway this is gonna be a short series, probably around 5 parts or so maybe less idk 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  PART 01/05.

she always asked what you were giggling about - seemingly every time she painted lip gloss across your smile, you were holding back a laugh. it was mostly to her own exasperation, as the crease that formed between her brows was supposed to show just how much harder you were making her job for her. irene didn’t actually ever mind, though. it was you, how could she? 

after returning to your group to take part in the preparations for your fourth mini album comeback, it was made evident to you that management was taking each step with caution. not in regards to your wellbeing, no, it wasn’t definitely not that. it was the way it seemed as though the world began walking on eggshells around you after your forced hiatus. it was also the way the world seemed to be constantly giving you a side eye, going over all the variants of the word ‘diva’ in their heads.

not irene, though.

since pre-debut, you were used to certain personalities from idol staff. there were all sorts - from the older, stricter company employees that scrutinized your every move, the staff that were too scared to even speak directly to you, the staff that were big fans and did everything in their power to please you. some of the long term faces that stuck by your group for the past few years had even become your friends. 

when irene came along, you nearly picked a fight with her for no reason. frustrated and on your first day back from “vacation,” you were met with the stunning irene and immediately grew territorial. who was this beautiful stranger and why was she taking up space in the middle of your trailer? she, of course, looked back at you with a blank face and proceeded to tell you to strip without any hi or introduction.

“strip,” irene commanded, as she rifled through the rack of clothes in front of her. 

her hands swiped between flashes of different shades of purple - the theme for the first couple of scenes of the music video .  you were left speechless for a second, tongue tumbling on any form of introduction, which irene had promptly skipped over. she met your eyes, making you snap out of your stutter, and her pointed look towards your left showed that your other members were already getting their video shoot clothes on.

“um, i’m y/n. what happened to cha - “

“i don’t know and i don’t really care. take off your jewelry, too.” in the middle of buttoning your jeans down, you saw that irene had quickly laid out what you would be wearing on camera. an off the shoulder lilac gingham piece that would brush against your ankles with puff sleeves, paired with freshwater pearls. it screamed sweet and loving “girl next door” all over - although, in your eyes, it was the perfect “please forgive me” look to your fanbase following the dating scandal that halted your career for multiple months. irene knew what she was doing.

you were able to get a good look at irene for the first time - or at least, the best you could with the way she moved so quickly. she was definitely around your age and definitely gave the impression of an idol herself. she was naturally beautiful, maybe one of the most beautiful girls you’d ever seen, and even in her work clothes of a simple long sleeve and jeans, irene looked like a model herself. her long black hair was pulled into a low ponytail, with a few strands of hair framing her face. you noticed her identification lanyard was decorated with hello kitty stickers.

your shoes were finally off, but you were still stunned silent. your group mate, sohye, glanced over at you with a puzzled expression. you noticed she was already in her dress and you hurriedly grabbed your own to hop your feet in. she was still staring at you, as her own stylist began doing as well. however, the latter seemed to be fighting a smirk. 

“what?”

sohye met eyes with her stylist and mirrored the same devious look. “nothing! you’re just really quiet, y/n....”

it was true. you were the fire cracker of the group, the one who’s laughter rung throughout the entire venue alone. boisterous and proud, you were made silent at the unique nature of the group’s newest staff member. this caught the attention of a few others in the room, a bit confused, as you were often the loudest voice in the room. you would at least be cracking some good-hearted jokes about your time off or practicing runs with sohye. you still weren’t sure why she was smirking at you and irene, though. 

“...met her match....”

“ladies! can we get a move on? mio, you still have to get your extensions in! bora, are you taking those pics for instagram? fantastic! and...y/n, you’re still getting your outfit on?” it was your manager, also known as the second loudest voice in the room. he seemed to take on a permanently frantic state across your group’s life span, as he dashed in the room out of nowhere, murmuring things at the appearance of his idols and scribbling things on a clipboard. 

he sighed, looking over at irene. “she’s not giving you a hard time, is she?”

“hey!”

“no, she’s been fine,” was irene’s reply, as she plugged in a curling iron on the pastel pink vanity in front of the two of you, not missing a beat. your manager looked at you, then back at irene, and simply shrugged and continued rambling about your group’s schedule for the next two hours. 

you let out a deep sigh that went unnoticed by the others in the room, except irene who raised an eyebrow at you, while simultaneously ushering you to the makeup chair. it really should have been you looking at her like that, as you were taken aback by how on her feet she was - in multiple ways. irene moved like a machine, weaving back and forth in the small space allocated to the both of you at the speed of light. she called over some assistant makeup artists to begin their work on you, as she ignored you in favour for directing the look that they were going for on you. irene was also on her feet against your group’s manager, the head honcho that typically leaves staff members unnerved. she was swift and she was direct. that was the first thing you ever noticed about her.

bora sauntered over and peered at you with a frown. “hey. why does y/n get the nicest set?” between the three other members, it was clear that bora still wasn’t over the fact that you got caught with a dating scandal. it looked bad on all of them as a group and you had apologized profusely to them for being a hinderance, but she was still showing the same level of disdain she had before. you two were never the closest in particular and now, it seemed like your friendship, or even profession relationship at  the least, was beyond repair.

you rolled your eyes at her. “go back to your own space, damn.” 

“well, you’re the one that messed up, i just don’t see why the company gave you irene. she’s the best of the best and my stylist is dressing me up like dora the explorer,” she grumbled the last part under her breath, returning her attention to her phone screen, where she was undoubtedly scrolling through social media to see what the fans were posting about her. 

it was technically your first day back. you and the girls quickly recorded your album in under a month and were thrown into the wolves that were better known as a kpop comeback. it was a record, basically unheard of in your company. however, plans changed following the scrapped debut of what was supposed to be a new boy group and a slot was left wide open for your group. everything had been a whirlwind so far and there was definitely an air of extra pressure following your hiatus, the need to prove yourself almost. it was your first day back and nearly everyone around you was giving you shit and you were exhausted. 

“it’s my first day, too. i’m taking it easy,” irene’s velvety voice chimed in out of nowhere, lowered to a volume that could only heard between the two of you, as she gently wrapped a section of hair around the curling wand, “and you should also, especially after everything.”

you were taken aback by the sudden words of wisdom, but realized fast that she was right. “you have a point, um, irene.” 

at this point, she had yet to introduce herself and you caught her name from bora, who seemed to already be acquainted with irene’s good reputation as a stylist. the name fumbled a bit off your tongue in your vulnerable state, a bit anxious for a variety of reasons. to your surprise, irene frowned a bit, which was her first display of any emotion the entire time.

“i’ll admit, i had to look into the group that i was going to work for,” irene began and you were prepared to wince at her opinion of the whole hiatus mess, “and i’ve seen you. you’re really strong-minded, why are you letting them get to you?”

“you’ve seen me?” that was the only thing you really focused on for a second, ignoring a flutter in your stomach. flattery was what you thought it was, as you wondered what irene thought of you and your talents.

this conversation was happening as you let the other two assistant makeup artists continuously flicked and dabbed with brushes and sponges on your face in silence. you noticed they didn’t even look at you in the eye, something you had seen many times before in the past. however, this time, you felt as though it wasn’t out of shyness or being starstruck. everyone had been continuously giving you a certain look after your return from hiatus and you only assumed the artists were participating in this cold-shoulder fest, between your manager to netizens to even your own group member. their opinion of you, though, wasn’t as important to you as irene’s opinion.

you caught yourself and cleared your throat. “i mean - well...i don’t know what you’re talking about.” it was a lie right through your teeth.

“chin up,” she commanded once again and you immediately did so, as she approached you with a beautiful strawberry-coloured lip pencil. 

you met her eyes as she began carefully carving out the outline of your lips with careful movements. something in you was glad that you got a new stylist and especially more so that she was in charge of you and only you. despite this feeling of welcomeness, you remained confused as to what irene was getting to.

“don’t let them give you shit,” irene replied, as she finished the last touches of your lip liner and had reached over for a matching lipgloss. she leaned over and resume her place right in front of you, still decorating your features with the gentlest of moves. 

that was the second thing you ever noticed about irene. from the moment you walked in and met her, you saw that she took absolutely no shit from anyone. that included you, your manager, and anyone else who dared. she stood her ground and did so gracefully. you were instantly envious of the way she held herself.

however, she saw that you could do the same. you smiled a bit and while irene also cracked a bit of a smile, just nearly tugging on the corner of her lips, it quickly turned into a sterner look.

“okay, but i didn’t say move. stop smiling or laughing or whatever.” 

time was ticking, as the camera crew wanted to get the good shots in before the forecasted rain began later in the afternoon. everyone was engaged in the hustle and bustle of the day ahead, but for the first time that entire day, you were able to breathe freely and smile. well, smile as much as you could until irene tsked you because you were moving and ruining her vision. this would be the first of many iconic looks that irene would craft for you for the comeback ahead. more importantly, it was the first time you became her muse and she became your rock.

[mouldymp3rotations]

0824-011

Part IV of my 20th anniversary series !

Part I Part II Part III

This post was brought to you by Node of Scherzo before Versailles even was a thing :D I was really, really excited when Versailles happened, and even more when they teamed up with Kaya and Juka to make Node of Scherzo. Here's why lol (ok there are no Juka songs here but eeeeeh)

As usual : Song titles link to individual mp3 file download

All 5 songs can also be downloaded together, in a zip file, from the link at the bottom

藍華柳~aikaryu - すすめ!パイレーツ (susume! pirates)

Aikaryu being Teru's band before Versailles :)

Another iconic piece from Aikaryu, probably their best, imo, that still makes me wish their van never crashed (but then again, if that didn't happen, maybe Teru and Hizaki wouldn't have started working together, and they do riff well together aaah...)

Susume! Pirates was on the mini-album 海賊盤~Aye.藍.sir~ (kaizokuban~aye. ai. sir~ more puns from our buddy aikaryu uhuhuh), released in 2004.

aaah, indie goodness ♥

HIZAKI - Ritual (featuring fu-ki from BLOOD)

... Well Hizaki was also Hizaki before versailles, I suppose. His solo career is pretty solid, though ! I was already vaguely aware of BLOOD at the time, and this song convinced me to look further into it :)

This version of Ritual was on Maiden†Ritual, released in 2004 (it was somewhat self-covered under HIZAKI grace project and sung by Juka a few years later, but Juka's falsetto is so bad you might as well stick to the fuki version ahahhaah)

LAREINE - Scarlet Majesty

Lareine being one of Kamijo's bands before versailles, if I even needed to introduce him...

Now this was one of the first Lareine song I heard, I don't remember what was the very first, but this one was the one that made me love Lareine :3 And it's another one of these songs I didn't realized was so new, at the time... (but also, in my head, somehow, lareine disbanded in 2001 LOL)

Scarlet Majesty was a single released in 2003.

Malice Mizer - au revoir

The thing is, I thought that malice would suit the mood better than m10m (but then again here's Schwarz Stein at the end lmao), especially right after Lareine, AND once you've heard one m10m song, you've pretty much heard it all (there's one in the 1st post of the series ;) ), BUT that statement isn't true about Malice. I've done Klaha era, now here's Gackt lolz. (also Juka wouldn't be Juka without a good Gackt base, so eh...) (also, also : i'm pretty sure that at least Közi showed up to a node of scherzo event, back then, iirc)

Also, ngl, I chose between this, Le Ciel, and Bel Air, and I'm not sure how I elected au revoir... It might just be that Mana's flower costume is my fave of all time ♥

Au revoir was a single released in 1997.

(enjoy this non-crunchy clip omfgoth im always emotional when I actually see it and I dont have to guess what the pixels mean T^T)

Schwarz Stein - Rise to Heaven

Schwarz Stein being Kaya's band bef... WELL. They were active from 2001 to 2004, and have been semi active since 2011. Kaya started his solo career in the meantime, partaking in several side projects, including Node of Scherzo. (And Hora spent his time buying shoes and living (?) in Hawaii, I guess...)

IT'S THE FIRST SCHWARZ STEIN SONG I EVER HEARD !!! At the time, this, queen of decadence and fester love was all I could find on lime wire lol. And it stayed like that until a parental unit gifted me a legit copy of New Vogue Children (there were a lot of "miya records" copies circling on ebay, back then). So anyway, I heard that and I fell in love and it's been 20 years and counting :D

Rise to Heaven was on the album New Vogue Children, released in 2003

Bonus because it was already uploaded in mega :

Node of Scherzo, featuring Teru, Hizaki, Juka, Kamijo, and Kaya here, and among others

Node of Scherzo was a series of concert put up together by versailles, Kaya, and Juka, in 2007. They basically created a musical based on beauty (lol) involving a love triangle and songs from Versailles, Hizaki grace project, and Kaya's solo career. After the released of Carmilla, it became a vampire story as well.

NoS also paved the way for the monstrosity that is JVM Roses Blood Symphony lol

.zip file downloadable HERE~

[eurothug4000]

INTERVIEW WITH TAKAYUKI YANAGIHORI - DIRECTOR ON PHASE PARADOX PS2

As I was researching the Japan exclusive PS2 game Phase Paradox (sequel to Philosoma on the PS1), I quickly realised there's very little information available on this sci-fi horror game. Thankfully, the director of Phase Paradox responded to me and I was able to learn more about this obscure title which I'd like to share!

Takayuki: First, let me introduce myself. I started my career as a game developer at Sega, then at SCE (now SIE) and Microsoft. After that, I started my own small studio and am still making games. This time I developed PHASEPARADOX, which was originally a survival horror game for PS1, but changed to an adventure game for PS2.

You mentioned to me that the game was difficult work, what parts of development were challenging? How many years did development take?

The most important thing is that it was an early PS2 title. There was a lack of development equipment, and it was difficult to tell whether bugs were caused by the program or the development equipment, and PS2 development itself was difficult. We also had to handle a large amount of CG, which was very difficult because it was still the 1990s and the CG tools and techniques were not yet up to scratch.

As for the development period, I was in charge for 4 years, but I heard that it took about 2 years before that. (I heard that the game had already been playable on PS1.)

In contrast, what parts of development were the most enjoyable for you?

Game development is always fun. Creating assets using 3DCG, which was the state-of-the-art at that time, building a worldview in accordance with science fiction research, setting scenarios and characters, etc., all of it was both painful and enjoyable.

I was inspired to try new things.

Were there any movies or video games that were a big influence for Phase Paradox? For example, Massimo's character reminded me a lot of Ron Perlman and Arnold Schwarzenegger!

The original idea was to create a "Resident Evil" game based on the world of the "ALIEN" movie. I incorporated a lot of my knowledge of game design and movies into the project.

As you said, the character of Massimo is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jude Sutcliffe is Michael Pare. All the other characters have Hollywood star models. I think it was allowed because it was then, but it is not now, lol. The game part was based on Movie Adventure.

The cast for the game is very impressive! Since the voices are in English, was the game planned for worldwide release?

Yes, it was supposed to be a big seller all over the world. However, it was cancelled due to the short playing time and the lack of gameplay. The voice recording was done in L.A.

The presidential election was taking place at the time of recording, and I remember the staff saying to me, "You are in the U.S. on a historic day”.

I love the design of the environments. There are many rooms (like the arcade) that have a very unique and detailed appearance. Did a lot of work go into creating the interior of the Gallant? What were some of the inspirations behind the designs?

The artwork was done by Matsushima-san, continuing from Philosoma. This person has experience working on costumes for the Ultraman series at Bandai, and he drew the foundation of the world, the art settings, and all the original drawings.

Phase Paradox is a sequel to Philosoma. Was it difficult to make a game with a fictional world and characters that were already established? Or did this make work easier?

As I mentioned in 5, it was not difficult for me to continue with Mr. Matsushima. Rather, I enjoyed it very much because I was allowed to add my favorite SF essence to Philosoma.

Do you remember any features that you and the team wanted to include in the game, but maybe couldn't because of time or cost?

Action game elements, mini-games, more options. I am very disappointed. But I think if we had included these elements, we would still be making them, lol. How many more years would have been needed?

At the time, we abandoned the idea of calculating or thinking about that number. We concentrated only on completing it.

What did you and the team want to achieve with Phase Paradox? It feels like a very "cinematic" game, was this rare with games at the time?

The result was a common movie game, but rather than a cinematic part of the game, we were aiming for an innovative adventure game where the situation changes depending on the choices you make.

I was aiming for something like "Detroit: Become Human", if I may say so now in the 21st century. Every time I play that game, I feel strongly about it.

As a final product, what are your personal thoughts on Phase Paradox?

It was a lousy performance, is all I can say. I have always regretted that it was worth it to spend so much money and market value to bring a game with only graphics to the world.

Is there anything else you'd like to share about working on the game? Any strong memories or interesting facts?

As I wrote in #8, I was aiming for a groundbreaking, new game, but I have nothing but regrets about developing on new hardware, not being able to devote the effort to gameplay due to my focus on graphics, and being buried and truncated in various ways by a large amount of work.

More than 20 years have passed and I have sealed my memory, but when I recall it like this, I feel more proud than ashamed, feeling that I was young and ambitious.

Thank you very much.

What are you working on currently?

I am currently making a soccer game at GADE inc.

One is a blockchain game. The other is a 3D action soccer game. I am working on both of them to get rid of my dissatisfaction and regret of the action soccer game I made in Sega.

I am proud to say that I still have new initiatives and high aspirations, so please look forward to them. Both are for the whole world. However, we are having a hard time because we don't have the money for promotion. We would be very happy if someone could help us. We are also planning to launch a new innovative adventure game service on the Web and an action game with an elaborate world view.

If anyone is interested or willing to support us, please contact us.

Thank you to Takayuki for taking the time to provide his insight into Phase Paradox's development! I've made a video on the game which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/bTSFY5M08BU

[jentlemahae]

sfjsjfhsjsjfh "What she's doing rn is the complete antithesis of YG: regular music releases and songs that sound different." clock it 🤭 not to keep going on about it but this is exactly what we've been saying about bp working with non yg producers like this snippet is so girly and fun!!!!! teddy would never make a song like this for lisa. i want to kiss every producer lisa has worked with so far on the mouth bcs i love everything i'm hearing from her!!!! 🤩

one worry i have about the 5 singles is about when the album is dropping. will the album drop alongside the 4th or 5th single? if she releases 5 singles then the album we would have already heard half of the album already and that's weird 😐 personally i think it would make more sense for the album to drop along with the 4th single and then release a 5th single after to keep momentum going. idk 🤷‍♀️

as for the festival, she has 4 songs rn and she'll definitely perform the new one so yeah 5 songs, and she could perform sexy girl bcs the festival is in paris and dj snake is french so that would make it 6 songs. tbh the vmas has given me a little hope that her performance director will add in dance breaks etc and that will lengthen the time she's on stage but yeah, still a little baffled about her performing at a festival so soon in her career. my friend wonders if she'll perform a bp song like pretty savage etc by herself..

absolutely !!!!!! rockstar and new woman were already different but it looks like this song will be a complete 180 and that is so exciting !!!!!! this would have never happened if she had stayed at yg cause not only would they have taken multiple years to release 3 singles, she would not have had the opportunity to work with outside producers/writers and make the songs it the first place. the girls leaving that company has literally only been blessing after blessing

and well 5 pre release singles for an album is odd 🤷🏻‍♀️ frankly 4 is weird too lol i guess it depends on how many bsides there are! but im sorry, maybe im out of the loop, but i thought we were thinking the album was gonna be a mini with 5 songs total ? im confused

and yeah, but even if she performs all 6 songs and includes some long dance breaks, it’s still gonna be around 30 minutes, and headliner sets are usually an hour 😭😭 i mean im obviously excited for her and everything, but im also genuinely curious to see how they are gonna pull it off cause i cannot think of a single way for them to fill the time 🙏🏻

[cuephrase]

2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 29, 30 for comics

coming from this ask game

2. The most recent comic you got

The Boy Wonder #4

picked it up this wednesday at my LCS, (along with batman #151 and absolute power #2), i have seriously enjoyed this black label mini sm so far and this issue made me so soft and melty inside fr

5. The oldest comic you have

New Teen Titans Annual #1

this came out august 19, 1982, so it's...like ten days away from being 42 years old? neat!!

6. The comic you were most excited to find

Nightwing (2011) #15

so this a screenshot bc i actually got this as a gift for my brother-in-law!!

mini story time: when i decided i wanted to start reading bat comics, i went to him and asked where to start for nightwing and he loaned me his collection of n52 nightwing with great excitement lmao. (he started reading nightwing midway through this run releasing- it's what got him into nightwing- no judging allowed!!) this was the first series he started collecting/one of the two he kept when he sold most of his collection to pay for his honeymoon.

he didn't have the whole run though, (which omg we talked about pricing and it is wild how much the value of a comic book fluctuates), so i decided to get the handful of issues he was missing for him as a birthday gift. this was really easy except for this issue bc it has two covers. this one, and a joker version. i passionately hate the joker cover but it was the only one i could find- in person or online, so i almost gave up. being patient paid off, though, and i was able to get him the cover i wanted!! very exciting. plus!! he was so stoked when he saw the cover bc, as it turns out, he also hated the joker cover, which is why he didn't own the issue

7. The comic you searched for the longest

Red Robin #25

i started collecting red robin on oct 15, and i got this issue (the last one i needed), on feb 20, so it took a little over four months. i usually have pretty great luck at finding what i'm looking for the day i go looking for it lol, so this was super satisfying to bring home for a variety of reasons

9. The longest comic/collected edition you have

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol. #1, Robin 80th Anniversary: 100-Page Super Spectacular

i'm pretty sure the ntt omni is bigger than any of the saga omnis i have, but i will confess i did not check page count. fun fact tho, i got this signed by marv wolfman. got to chat with him for a bit about tim, nightwing, and getting into the industry which was super neat.

and then the robin 80th is the longest single i own. i think? again, did not check page count but i can't think of anything longer. i don't think b:ul or wf3 are longer?

29. The comic you're currently reading...

...(or want to re-read soon)

Superboy (1994) #1, Robin (1993) #1, Young Justice (1998) #1

i just started reading superboy today!! i've been looking forward to reading him for awhile and finally made it to him, woo!! enjoying it so far too :)

and then i'm just kinda constantly in a state of wanting to re-read robin and yj98 lmao. idk if it'll happen 'soon', idk why but i get super squirrelly about re-reading when i have other stuff on my tbr 😅. i don't have that many titles left on my tbr so. i'll either finish my tbr or break somewhere and re-read. i honestly don't know lmao

30. Dealer's choice: a random comic!

Nightwing (2016) #87

i got this bad boy for free because i made the vendor laugh 😎 (disclaimer, ship who you want, i'm not judging or looking for a fight, okay? okay cool.)

i was at the Collectibles Warehouse (generic made-up name) with my dad for the first time, super fun, and he was helping me look/asking questions as we went. the vendor saw me looking through his nightwing stuff and started telling me about an issue of batgirl (babs) he had just sold, the first time they kissed i think? first something for dickbabs.

dad: "oh first kiss, that's pretty cool, do you want to see that one?"

me: "no, i'm okay"

dad: "i thought you liked him with the redhead??"

me, laughing: "i do, but the redhead i like is starfire"

dad: "he's been with multiple redheads?!"

me, dying laughing: "yes"

dad (stage whisper): "so you don't ship him with her...are they a bad couple?"

me: "...i just prefer him with starfire"

vendor, apparently eavesdropping, burst out laughing: "i had no idea young people still shipped those two! dc's been pushing dickbabs so hard, i thought all the kids liked them. man i love when he's with starfire. you want that comic?" (i was holding the comic, about to show my dad bc, yk, pretty cover) "for you, that one's free"

me: "are you sure?!" (this was a more expensive one- not like Expensive, just above retail)

vendor: "oh yeah, you just made my whole day"

never think i'll experience that again, very entertaining series of events.

bonus: dad's reaction to the cover

dad: "oh my. his pants are very...shiny. look at his thighs! he has very nice thighs, wow"

me: "dude, ikr!!"

tysm for the ask, anon!! i hope you enjoyed the answers :)

[quaranmine]

Book Reviews with Quara

Since I keep talking about audiobooks, now I want to do a sort of mini book review of the books I've read since starting to "seriously" pick up reading again last year. Also I just like typing about things. I'm skipping Fire Season by Philip Connors and Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams because I've spoken about them already. Keep in mind I am not super-super critical of reading material; generally if I enjoyed it I'm giving 5 stars. If I disliked it though I get a lot more critical because then I want to start analyzing what didn't work for me. Now go forth and learn about what my reading taste is when I'm not reading/writing angsty mcyt fanfic!

Books I loved, aka 5 stars:

Cold Storage by David Koepp

This was the first book I checked out from Libby and it was a banger. I am still trying to replicate that high tbh. When I gave my mom access to my library card in Libby (her rural library has nothing and my city library has everything) I made her check it out too. The narration on the audiobook is fantastic. My mom raved about the narration and basically says she doesn't want to check anything out that wasn't as good--regularly her reviews to me are "good narrator, not as good as that Cold Storage book" lmao. You may know David Koepp as the guy who wrote the Jurassic Park screenplay. This is his first novel.

It's about a mutated fungus that is a sci-fi version of the very real Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, which is more commonly known as the zombie-ant fungus. In this book, a version of Cordyceps can infect all lifeforms, including humans, and has been locked away deep in a former US military vault that has since been sold and converted into an underground storage facility. The plot follows two unlikely protags who work in the storage facility, as well as the two retired military people who are the only ones to have seen the fungi in action, as they try to prevent it from being released into the world. It's funny, horrifying, and gory.

They are making a movie of this book. The release date is tentatively 2024, but I worry about it because I have heard so little news on it. They did do filming though. I have high hopes because they cast Joe Keery as a main character, which I think is perfect casting for the guy in question. I have low hopes because they cast Liam Neeson, a white man, as a character who was originally Hispanic and (as I just noticed while writing this) changed the character's name to be more white. Ugh. Who is Robert Quinn and what did you do with Roberto Diaz???????

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

What if you got kidnapped and woke up in a parallel world where everybody knew who you were, but they think you're someone else? What if you're just a quantum physics professor, but this other version of you is a successful theoretical researcher? What if your wife never married you in this universe, and your son was never born? How do you get back home? This book is constantly pulling out interesting new questions, twists, and places to explore. Also I liked that while it does feature romance pretty prominently, it's about a guy who just really loves his wife of 15 years and wants to see her again. I just like it when men love their wives.

Also, a fair amount of Goodreads reviews poke fun at this author for having way too much fun hitting the enter key on his keyboard, but since I listened to the audiobook I never had to deal with any annoying formatting choices lol

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

I feel like we all know about this one already, tbh. If you don't, heavy tw for child abuse and eating disorders. Tread carefully. It's worth it though if you are confident you won't get triggered. If you haven't read it I recommend the audiobook specifically because Jennette narrates it herself and that gives the book so much extra. It was a 6 hour audiobook and I was gripped by it all day.

Wrong Place Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister

BACKWARDS TIMELOOP BABEYY!!! This one was great. It's about a Mom who witnesses her teenage son kill a man. Every day she wakes up in the past again until she can solve why this happened, the mystery leading up to it that entangles her family, and try to prevent it. First she ways up the day before, then two days, then three, then a two weeks, then a few months, then a few years--until her son hasn't even been born yet. I enjoyed it. Also a plus for British accent narrator (can you tell I'm American....)

A Rip Through Time by Kelley Armstrong

This one was fun. I checked it out because it was longish and I had to drive like 8 hrs roundtrip for a work trip, so I listened to this the entire way. It's about a (Canadian) woman named Mallory who was a police detective in the modern day, who gets attacked while out for a jog in Edinburgh, Scotland. The attacker strangles her and she goes unconscious. When she wakes up, however, she finds herself in someone else's body--in the Victorian era. She's now a 19 year old housemaid, and has to adapt as quickly as possible to avoid suspicion. She quickly finds out that she works for a man named Dr. Duncan Gray, who is a medical examiner. And there's a person who's been murdered in a very similar way to how Mallory herself was attacked. And she's quickly finding out that the person who's body she's in was not well-liked.

My favorite part about this one is the emphasis it has on early forensics in Victorian Scotland. Dr. Gray is a fantastic character and it is so interesting to see him doing his lil cutting-edge forensics research (which Mallory, being educated in modern times, wants desperately to help him with.) Also the narrator, while being Canadian, does Scottish accents for all the Scottish characters. I'm not the best person to ask as someone who isn't Scottish but I thought the accents sounded pretty good lol

Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson

My mom recommended this one to me. It's also a lot of fun. The title is, mostly, accurate. Ernest Cunningham (protag) is a writer, who mostly creates how-to books for mystery novelists he sells on Amazon. No, he doesn't write mysteries, he just writes the how-to books. But he's very well-versed in the "rules" of how to write a classic mystery! He promises that, as the narrator of this story, he will always be an entirely reliable narrator. The book itself is obviously fiction but within the narrative of the book, it is being told like a nonfiction account of something that the main character is writing down. This book is sort of a bottle mystery--strange murders while everyone is snowed in at a ski resort during a family reunion, anyone? The main character is funny and breaks the fourth wall often. I am convinced that there is a separate audiobook specific version since the narration within the book references it being an audiobook. The main character will be like "so, you probably realize this isn't the real killer, since we still have 4 hours of the book left to listen to" lol. I almost want to check out a print copy of this to see if the text is different.

Starter Villain by John Scalzi

First one on the list that I didn't listen to as an audiobook. Honestly, I probably read this book in 4 hours flat. Three of those hours just dead-focused while on a plane (with the book's hold expiring as soon as I landed and took my phone off airplane mode.)

I don't really know how to explain this one. I don't think I understood what it was about until I actually got like 4 chapters in and then I couldn't stop. It's just off-the wall ridiculous. There are talking cats. There are dolphins that want to unionize. There is a volcano lair. There are explosions and assasination attempts. There is a reasonably bleakly accurate capitalist picture of what "villainy" means in our world. There is a poor main character in over his head as he learns he's inherited all this from an uncle he never saw. This book is like...satire comedy. Comedy and outlandish but you're also depressed about billionaires a little while reading it.

Books I thought were Okay (3-4 stars but actually I gave both these 4 stars I think)

The Poisoner's Ring by Kelley Armstrong

The second book to the book I mentioned above. Honestly, I remember very well what the first book was about (i typed the summary by memory) but I have trouble remembering specifics about this one. It's a bit too long as well, at 14 hours. I don't have anything bad to say about it, I just didn't enjoy it quite as much as the first one.

But honestly I do remember it was still a good time. I just really like Dr Gray as a character and the setting, early forensic science focus, etc. These books are also setting up to be an EXTREME slow burn romance between Gray and Mallory, which I don't mind. (Literally by book 2 the most we have is that she thinks he's attractive, so at this rate it will take us 3 more books to get anywhere lol.) I will be checking out the 3rd book when it is released this spring.

Someone Else's Shoes by Jojo Moines

Also a book that suffered from being too long. It's a 12 hour audiobook but I think that it could have been 8 or 9 hours and gotten the same point across. My mom recommended this to me. It's narrated by Daisy Ridley, who does a good job. I enjoyed it, but I also started to feel like I really wanted it to be done?

Also unsure how to describe this one. Slightly-contrived-but-cute plot about how a bag switch up in a gym connects two women's stories. One is a, frankly quite annoying, American woman who married rich but has now been completely cut off from her money (and even passport) by her ex-husband who's cheating on her with a younger woman. One is a British woman with low self-esteem and a bad job who is struggling to keep her family afloat while her husband suffers from severe depression. I think my favorite was a side character named Jasmine who brought light to every scene imo.

Books I disliked (2 stars but after writing this review I almost want to make it 1 star)

Aurora by David Koepp

David I really believed in you after Cold Storage. But imo, this book isn't it. It throws away every interesting part of its apocalypse-level plot to focus on the characters. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good character-focused plot, except I never connected with anyone in the book. I just kind of didn't enjoy any of them. This is a story that is supposed to be about a solar flare taking out all electricity and communications for most of the world. And it only covers like a few days after the disaster AND THEN TIME SKIPS LIKE 8 MONTHS UNTIL EVERYTHING IS HAPPILY SOLVED NEIGHBORHOOD UTOPIA STYLE. I'm sorry????? Assuming I can believe that this little suburban Illinois cul-de-sac has managed to set up subsistence farming in a few months and is living perfectly happily, why would you....not show me how that happened.....

Also the "everything fits together" character moment at the end felt unearned. I was like yeah, okay, I guess this slots together. But the author didn't earn that moment for me. Instead of connecting with the characters and the plot and getting invested I felt like I was just being....told that everything worked out?? Or told that this was an important moment instead of actually Feeling the moment? It's hard to explain but I was like ok great thanks let's all go home now.

Sigh. I just can't get over the whole "throwing away the most interesting part of your setting" part. Again. Why would you spend a significant time setting up the science and how much of a disaster the solar flare is and then not show any of the characters figuring out how to survive it long-term....?

Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

This book has such a high rating. It's very popular right now. It took me like 12 weeks of waiting for my hold to come up, and that's with the library having 7 copies.

It is, supposedly, about a smart octopus named Marcellus who helps an elderly lady solve the mystery of her son's disappearance at sea when he was a teenager.

In practice, it is about one minute at a time of Marcellus (the best part of the book) and extended sections of characters that I don't care about at all. I assume all the pieces of the story were supposed to come together later, but I was just highly bored. I was so bored that I DNF'd at 25% when my hold was up. I do not care enough to wait weeks to check it out again. Based on the one star reviews I read, the characters I didn't like did not develop into better people later and remained similarly annoying. Now, I don't need characters to be good people of course. But I do expect to be interested in them. I still don't know how the son's disappearance factors in because I felt like I heard barely anything about the supposed main character woman.

I feel vindicated because my coworker also checked out the book and told me a few weeks ago that she was at 50% and there still wasn't anything happening in the plot. I will ask her tomorrow if she finished it or not and if it ever got better.

Write an entire book for Marcellus the octopus and I'll check it out...

Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn

This book had so much potential. It's about a group of four women who were formerly assasins but are now retiring at 60. To celebrate retirement, they go on a cruise and then realize that they're the new targets for assasination, presumably because they know too much about the organization that used to employ them.

In execution....very meh. I actually had a Libby glitch on this one, where I think I missed about 1.5 hrs of narration total because the book skipped twice. I have no concept of which parts I missed. What I do know is that, the book was already so cobbled together before the first skip that I didn't realize I had missed anything until the end. Like sure, parts didn't make sense, but I was ready to accept that it was just Like That since the rest of the book was like that. After reading a bunch of reviews of this book I am convinced that there is NO way that all of its flaws can be explained by me missing a small part. After all, I did listen to 8.5 hours of it still.

The characters never felt their age to me. I felt like they either acted like they were 80 or 90, or like they were 20. It just seemed odd to me. The characters also felt very 2D, like the author wrote down three traits per person and called it good. There's a younger woman who appears to know the main character and conveniently helps the group, but I literally never figured out where their relationship originated or how they knew each other. Maybe I missed that too. By the end of the book I still didn't know who anyone was and couldn't remember which person was the main character. The plot jumped around to new locations constantly and often with little transition--this happened even on the parts where I definitely didn't get a skipping glitch. The main villain was a guy I literally had barely heard anything of til that point, although perhaps he came up in the 1.5 hrs I missed. They described the same painting in excruciating detail THREE separate times. It was...too feminist? Feminist in a contrived way where I have to be reminded every 5 minutes the characters are women? Like, I know, I am reading a story about women. Please don't mention it several times a chapter. There are ethical and moral considerations about their profession and chosen organization that never really get given the weight required. There was a love interest for the main character that I hadn't heard of once until he was introduced like an hour from the end--maybe I missed more about him in the parts I skipped? Unknown.

ANNND THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!

[professoraurabolt]

22, 26, and 34 for the Layton asks? -Insomnia Anon :)

INSOMNIA ANON!!!!!! HIIII (RUNS CIRCLES AROUND YOU EXCITEDLY) HIIII HELOO!!!!

22) Do you have any merchandise? If yes, what? If no, would you like any? What would you get?

I was gonna say no but then I remembered that I literally have the Eternal Diva Luke plushie on my bed, I forget when abouts I got him but he's definitely starting to show his age a bit lol. He's one of my earliest fandom plushie and he's still very dear to me! :)

For "semi-official" merch, I have one of the Fangamer Layton t-shirts, the Veil of Night one I think it's called. It's hands down one of my favourite shirts ever, the design on it is beautiful and it's that amazing Fangamer quality that I've never had any issues with. I remember when it was first released and they weren't shipping it out to Europe initially, I was PISSED. I think I checked the site like every week or so to see when it would be available for EU shipping and as soon as it was, I brought it.

And of course, I get fanmade stuff whenever I go to conventions! I got prints, pins, stickers and more! Whatever I can get really, you know how it is being a Layton fan lol

26) How did you discover the series?

Funny enough, it got advertised to me when I was like 10/11. It was the lead up to Christmas and an ad for Lost Future came up on the telly while me and my brother were watching, I was instantly interested and my brother casually said that I should get it for Christmas. So I did, and I've been going crazy over it ever since.

The one and only time advertising has ever worked on me, kinda insane, I also remember going insane anytime an ad for any of the other games would play because "holy shit why is Layton on da TV?????" The idea of video games getting TV ads is still somewhat weird to me, but I'm glad they did for Layton.

34) Do you want more games or do you think the series has run its course and is fine as it is?

If I'm being 100% honest? No. I think the games have run their courses and I'm satisfied with where they've ended. If you asked me about 6/7 years ago the same question, I would say I wanted more games, but that was before Lady Layton came out and while I do love the game a lot, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit of a spit in the eye to the Layton series. Besides I do NOT trust LEVEL-5 with where they are right now to make a new game without it being some kind of cash grab.

Maybe if anything, I'd appreciate another cross over game or a mini series or something. The remakes for mobile have been nice and I do appreciate the efforts gone into them a lot, but they're just not my cup of tea lol. Who knows maybe they'll announce something new and interesting in the future to catch my interest and make me change my mind, but right now, FUCKING LEAVE THE SERIES REST PLEEEEEASE THANK YOU FJDJHSHSHJ

[arthurandhisswordbros]

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Thank you so much for tagging me @burglarhobbit !!!! Ily!!!

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

5 works in 2022

Well, I only posted like 4 works total in 2022 so I’ll rank them lol.

1. You Have To Chase It: My Merlin Twitter fic that I did for glompfest 2022. Or, Immortal!Merlin goes on Twitter to complain about his dead king. Unrelatedly, Arthur joins Twitter. This was a labor of love done in the midst of finals and I genuinely think it’s the fic im most proud of out of everything I’ve ever written. It makes me very very happy lol.

2. Chapters 7-9 of You, Servant!: okay this is kinda cheating because it’s technically still a wip, but I had a horrible period of writers block between chapter 6 and 7 and I’m just so proud of myself for getting back into it and churning out some of, imo, the best chapters of the story.

3. Questions: or my ace!Arthur and grey ace!merlin fic set around The Changeling. Listen, I am NOT a short form writer by any means. My brain doesn’t work like that usually. So, to my surprise, I was so so happy with how this one came out. It was a valentines mini exchange fic and my giftee liked it, so that also made me very happy.

4. The Little Things: I made a post earlier in the year that got a lot of traction and wrote a little drabble based on it that was sitting in my wip folder for so long and I had some future plans for it, but just couldn’t find the time to write more, so I posted it. I think it came out great and I’m still hoping to either return to it one day or hoping that maybe someone else will do something with it Lolol.

4 WIPs I’m excited to post in 2022

1. My RTGE fic that I still haven’t posted but have about 3 chapters for. It was supposed to be a simple prompt, but kinda turned into a s1 rewrite. Oops. I really really love where it’s going so far though.

2. The rest of You, Servant! This will be my first ongoing WIP that I finish and I swear I will finish it if it kills me. I’ve had the ending planned for almost two years now, it’s just about getting it written.

3. A series of snippets set in the You Have to Chase it universe. Aaaaaand a possible sequel. I have Plans hahaha.

4. Futuristic Merthur Soulmate AU: I have a vague idea of where I want this to go and a few plans for how I want to write it, but I probably won’t get to it until later in the year. It will probably be my next big project though.

3 things I’ve improved on

Ughhh i think one of the biggest issues in my writing is syntax. Sometimes the words just sound right to me but don’t sound right to anyone else. But I think I’ve gotten a lot better at being more concise and getting rid of clunky descriptions/dialogue. I also think I’ve gotten better at writing romance, which was very hard for me for a long time. I think I was just worried that anything I wrote would be too cheesy, but then I realized that romance is cheesy. That’s kind of the point. Last thing is I’ve gotten better at not using em dashes every four lines. Like I still use them a lot, but not as much.

2 resolutions

1. I want to get to a point where I don’t have to reread what I’ve written four hundred times before I settle on something I like. Just two hundred times is enough.

2. I want to be able to incorporate more motion in my dialogue scenes. I’ve always admired people who could make a scene feel grounded and alive while their characters are speaking. I want everything to move and breath and vibrate like it does in real life.

My favorite line I’ve written in 2022

“You deserve everything you want in life. But the thing is, sometimes you have to chase it. You can’t wait for it to come to you and you can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist when it doesn’t.”

Tagging: @loanmeadragon @spiritofcamelot @tolkienlockian @sauraunderscore @follow-your-fire @peaceheather @fifty-5ty and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[ppersonna]

pick your filter - pjm | m

mix the colors in the palette, pick your filter. which me do you want? the one to change your world, i'm your filter - filter, bts

↳ summary- You love turning Jimin on, and you’re desperate to make him punish you for it.  Jimin loves punishing you while you listen to his music.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 5.1k

↳ pairing- jimin x reader

↳ genre- smut, this is literally just smut, there’s 1% plot and it’s pornographic too, there’s some fluff at the end but i repeat it is still smut. there is no god in this chili’s tonight

↳ warnings- buckle up pals.  established relationship, explicit descriptions of sex, penetrative sex, oral sex (m/f receiving), BDSM themes, spanking, belt usage, dirty talk, derogatory names, pain kink, daddy kink, face-fucking lol, unprotected sex, slight impregnation kink but like not really they just wanna have a baby together and talk about it lol, jimin is filthy and i cannot portray him as anything but filthy but then he has like cute babie syndrome at the end.

↳ a/n- hi i feel maybe 1% shame in how fast i wrote this but whatever.  thank you to @carly-bean-blog for sending the prompt in!  i loved it and went from a planned drabble to 5k words lolol.  one day i’ll be less verbose 🥴🥴 plus enjoy and feel free to send in more requests or just a message to say hi bc as you can see i love talking. also RIP to the wine glass i broke while writing this fic because i hit my table to hard.  wine glass 2020-2020

Turning Park Jimin on was a delicious challenge for you.

When you first began dating, all it took was a ‘come over’ text, and he’d be there in 5 minutes flat regardless of the fact that he lived 15 minutes away.

Now, a few years and a marriage under your belt, it took a bit more.

That’s not to say he wasn’t the same insatiable man you met at university; even after all these years Jimin could easily go 3 or more rounds a night.

But really getting him riled up, getting him hard and wanting and desperate for you was another thing.  Sometimes, you just wanted him to come home and take you right against the kitchen counter, so turned on he couldn’t even make it to the bedroom.

You’re determined to win that challenge today.  

To be truthful, the day was terrible for you, and you were seeking release in the form of your husband dicking you down until you were speaking another language. You were desperate to let loose, push aside the emotional and tender sex that seemed to be more commonplace in the bedroom recently (and you enjoyed equally) but today you needed to be treated like an absolute harlot.

The idea rolled through your mind while you were busying yourself with housework, laundry and dishes.  Options of how to get your husband to take you on the floor, rip your clothes off, make you beg for more, simmered in your mind and made the low flame in your stomach burn.  Lingerie could do the trick, Jimin definitely liked to see you swathed in delicate lace or creamy satin.  You had a nice deep red set that was dying to be used and discarded on the floor.

It came to you as you set your speaker to play some music as you flicked around the house.  Jimin’s sweet voice filled the rooms, causing you to pause as shivers raked your spine.

His music.  There was always something Jimin loved about having his music on in the background of your sex that made him work harder on you, fuck you deeper.  Maybe it was narcissism at its finest, but who were you to complain if it benefitted both of you.

You discarded all thoughts of cleaning the rest of the house as you stalked towards your bedroom closet, gathering the red bustier and panty set, with matching garter belt and stocking clips.  You purchased it rather spur of the moment, a huge sale at your favorite boutique, and you wanted to save it for something special.

It appeared the special moment was now.

You took care to curl your hair, a gentle wave with not too much product.  Jimin loved to tug his fingers through your locks, and grip them in a ponytail as you sucked his cock.  Any product would unfortunately get in the way.  Makeup was minimal, a dash highlight on your cheeks and inner tear ducts, light pink lip stain on your lips.  Jimin had been the test subject of many a lipstick, as you determined to find the most blowjob-proof one.  Needless to say, none of the lipsticks were 100% solid, but it was the best time Jimin ever had as a test subject. You preferred to stick with the stains, easier cleanup for the both of you.

You complete the visual as you swap your grubby cleaning day clothes for blood red lace lingerie, smirking at yourself in the mirror.  The cups of the bra molded against you, encasing your tits perfectly.  Jimin would surely lose his mind.  The panties were simple lace, and you had the inkling that they would not remain intact tonight.   Jimin’s propensity for literally ripping your knickers right off you was legendary.  But that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?  You wanted your husband to be absolutely feral for you.

Step two of your plan was now underway as you slipped onto your bed, perfectly made now, and snapped sultry photos.  You ensured your cleavage and smooth legs were in the shot, a finger on the mouth.  You took a few more, exposing more and more of your body.

me 2:56 pm- hi babe what you up to?

mini 2:56 pm- baby!!!! Not much, just waiting for hobi to get back from lunch so we can practice this new choreo.  

Mini 2:57 pm- what about you? besides being the world’s cutest wife :)

Me: 2:57 pm- oh not too much. I did our laundry and cleaned up the house a little.  Now im just relaxing and missing my babe :(

Mini 2:57 pm- baby :( i’m sorry.  I should be home in a few hours okay! I’ll order in pasta from your favorite place to make up for it

Me 2:58 pm- well, i was sort of hoping you could make up for it but… i don’t want pasta

Mini 2:58 pm- you don’t? What do you want? Pizza?

Me 2:58 pm- [picture attached]

Me 2:58 pm- no, I want you to fuck me until I can’t see straight.

Mini 2:59 pm- oh fuck 

Mini 2:59 pm- baby you’re playing a dangerous game, teasing me like this.

You nearly had him, he was sniffing at the bait and soon he’d bite and you’d reel him in.  You sent the next picture, showcasing your tits with one cup pulled down, nipple on display.

me 3:00 pm- you mean this kind of game?

mini 3:00 pm- christ

mini 3:00 pm- fuck babe, you’re gonna make me pop a boner at dance practice.  You know I can’t come home for a few hours.

me 3:00 pm- hobi still gone?  Go to the bathroom and i’ll send you a video.

mini 3:01 pm- holy fuck asdskadj okay

Time for the pièce de résistance.  Ensuring the speakers blasted ‘Serendipity’, your husband’s full length solo, you clicked the record button and filmed your hand sliding down to your clothed core, rubbing over the mound with a rough hand.  You breathed heavily, sighed, mewled a bit.  

“Daddy,” you gasp. “Come home.”

You end it with a hand sneaking under the band and insertion of one finger.  Leave him not just wanting more, but rabid for it.  The video file is sent before you've even pulled your fingers from their spot resting on your clit.

Minutes passed, you were sure he was watching.  The man lived for your exhibitionism.  

mini 3:06 pm- you better have your hands behind your back and be on your knees when i get home, little one. In the middle of the bedroom floor. 

mini 3:06 pm- i want you to listen to the music and think about me fucking you.  Think about how i destroy your little cunt so good.

mini 3:07 pm- but don’t you dare touch yourself.  Your pussy is only mine to play with, you got that?

me 3:07 pm- yes daddy 

mini 3:07 pm- good.  I’ll be home soon.

Congratulations, you smirk to yourself in the mirror's reflection across from you.  You’ve won the grand prize.  Please make sure you collect your prize from the man with the raging boner.

You idly realize that Jimin hasn’t told you when he’ll be home.  You know that on any normal day he’d be home at 5:30.  But was he leaving early?  Could you chance it?  As much as you wanted to disobey and face his delicious punishment, he also could just as easily punish you by not letting you cum at all. And the chances of that type of discipline tonight was high; Jimin would surely make you pay for teasing him at work by exacting torturous ache the same to you.

You’re spinning the pros and cons of preparing yourself now or later, when you are given your hasty answer by the sound of keys jingling in the front door.  Your heart rate spikes dangerously, feeling like the muscle would force the blood out of your veins with the pressure.  

You squirm off the bed and descend to the floor on your knees, resting back on your heels, and holding your hands behind your back.  You lower your head to the floor, knowing Jimin loves it when you avoid eye contact until he tells you when and where to look.  

His footsteps are heavy, slow and torturous because you know that he knows that you’ll be on the very edge of your sanity.  The warmth in your belly is torched with tinder and starter and is flaring high.  Jimin’s simple presence, just like this, is enough to get you to an incredible high.  Nothing brings you to your knees faster than when he turns from your sweet, adorable and gentle husband into the sadistic and powerful dominating owner of your body and soul.

It takes 5 deep breaths from your belly before you hear Jimin enter the bedroom.  He’s not saying a single word, but you can hear his soft footsteps on the hardwood floor.  Your knees are aching at the pressure of the hard floor, but you ignore it. You’d ignore cauterizing wounds for the man hovering above you if he asked. 

You’re trembling, you notice.  Your thighs are quivering ever so slightly and the grasp on your hands behind you is weakening.  You grip harder, determined to maintain perfect correct form.

Jimin is frustratingly silent.  He walks around you, and you feel his eyes rove your body intently, as if looking for fault or reason to punish you.  He seems pleased when he finishes his rounds, standing right in front of you. 

“Look at me,” he states with authority, but his tone is gentle. 

You finally tilt your head up to gaze at your lover and nearly gasp at the sight.  Jimin is, on an average day, the most ethereally beautiful man you’ve ever seen.  Today, he looks as if he descended from heaven mere minutes previous.  His pink hair is pushed back, eyes darkened with desire, and wearing the tightest shirt you’ve ever seen, making his toned dancer’s body ripple under the cotton.  Tight sweats that leave nothing to the imagination about what he’s packing between his thighs sit low on his hips and you spot just a hint of his lower abdomen, the v line of his adonis belt, and you’re sure you’re drooling.

“Look at me,” he corrects, a smirk on his face.  Your eyes snap to his own again, and he winks at you. 

“Have you been a good girl for daddy?” He asks, and it feels like a loaded question.  

You play it coy.  “Yes, daddy.”

He stands still in front of you, hand stroking his face as he watches you.  His eyebrow arches.

“Are you sure? You have done nothing to upset Daddy? Nothing at all?” His voice becomes teasing, and the smirk on his features is sinister.

You bite your lip. “I sent Daddy a video of me, touching myself to his music.”

“That’s right, angel,” he murmurs and circles you again.  You feel like his prey before he comes in for the kill. “You made daddy leave practice early.  Don’t you think that’s not being a good girl?”

“No, I did wrong.”

“I’m glad you agree,” he murmurs.  “I’m gonna make you regret getting Daddy hard and horny at work.”

He places his hands on your shoulders and you shiver.  His hands are smooth, warm.  You love the way you feel the cold steel of his wedding ring pressed to your skin, a tangible expression of his love and loyalty.

“Stand up,” he directs.  You’re quick, thankful to be off stinging knees.  He lets his hands glide down your back to meet at your clasped hands, pulling them apart and turning you to face him.

He threads his fingers through your hair and pulls you close, sealing your lips to his.  His lips are soft and taste of chapstick, a hint of sweat, and something just so simply Jimin that is addictive.  He’s gentle and tender in the kiss, the kind of kiss a husband gives his wife.  It speaks miles beyond the simple action, and you chase it, revel in it, knowing it’s the last time he’ll be gentle tonight.  

He breaks from the kiss, touches your nose gently and winks.  It makes your heart flutter in your chest.

The control seeps back into his face; it's physically present in the tight gaze of his eyes and the coolness of his impassive features.  It’s a stark opposite of who just kissed you, and you’re breathless at the sudden change.  

“Gonna spank you with my belt, baby,” he murmurs.  A hand slaps hard against your ass, surprising you and making you squeak out loud.  “Lean over my desk like a good little slut.”

You obey immediately, jerking your body towards his grand oak desk. It’s gorgeous dark wood that matches the decor of your room perfectly and makes for a delicious spot for your sexual proclivities without being obvious.  As much as Jimin wanted a sex swing, you would not cave to that.

You bend to fold your body over the desk, gripping the edge and pushing your hips back to allow for more access to your husband.  The speaker system by your bed plays music, and you recognize the opening chords as one from his latest album with his six best friends. A smile slips to your face as the volume turns up, quiet enough you can talk, but loud enough it’s noticeable. His smooth, melodic voice is ringing through your bedroom and through your entire body. 

He stalks in behind you and rubs at your soft globes.

“Mmm, you look so pretty in this,” he compliments.  “You know I love seeing you in red.”

You turn your head to gaze at him, smiling.  “That’s why I bought it, Daddy.”

“Good little bitch,” he sighs.  

As expected, he rips the underwear from your body with one clean pull.  You’re always surprised by the action. He never gives warning.  Your eyes follow as the useless fabric soars towards the ground. 

“Much better.”

He moves away from you, walking towards the closet.  You train your eyes forward, keeping locked on the wall ahead of you, rather than staring.  Jimin tells you when and where to look and you follow that.

The gentle clinking noise of a belt buckle causes your pussy to quake.  You’ve been slowly moistening since you sent the first text, but you were now starting to drip as if you were overflowing.  By the end of the night, you’ll be drowning in it.

He’s behind you again as quick as he left and he rubs the leather belt against your bare behind. 

“What’s your word?” He asks, soothing at the skin with the device that will soon maar it.  Jimin is ever careful, checking on your mental and emotional safety as well as your physical, and ensured a safe word was in place each time.

“Red,” you assert.  He hums his approval and kisses your ass once, one quick little peck, before he lifts back up to standing.

“Count for me, little whore.”

The crack of the belt spanking your cheek electrifies you.  You feel as if every muscle in your body clenches as the sting vibrates through your buttocks and down to your core.  

“O-one!” You’re shouting, distracted by the pain in your ass to care about your pitch.

Crack. The next slap lands on the other cheek now, and you hiss at the pain.  It bites at your skin, and it soaks your pussy. 

“Two!”

He delivers the next straight in the center, hitting both cheeks and letting the sizzle melt its way to a pleasure that’s reverberating through your core.

“Three! Fuck!” you gasp. 

SMACK.  It’s the hardest yet and tears well up in your eyes at the initial whollop, before your hips are writhing and desperate for friction.

“Four!” You’re wailing and you know it makes your husband go even wilder.

“Stay still or I won’t let you cum for a month,” he grits.  Your hips stay put, knowing he’s a man of his word and not wanting to face his wrath.

He continues his barrage, and you’re counting out 15 strikes before he stops.  You’re sobbing, the pain and pleasure surging so forcefully through your veins that your cunt clenches around nothing and you’re dripping onto the wood of the desk.

His warm hands are soothing at the reddened flesh of your ass, the sensation stinging at first, but oozes away to a relaxing warmth against the punished skin.

“Good girl, baby,” he commends you, hands rubbing all over your flesh. “Took your punishment like such a good girl.”

You sniffle in reply and he pulls you up, making you stand on wobbly legs.  He twists you around and pecks your lips again, a reminder that Jimin, your husband, is still there and loves you more than he loves life itself.  It soothes you more than any salve could and it steels your resolve to continue.  It’s easy to submit and thrill at the loss of control when you trusted the master with your entire being.  

“Color?” He asks, checking in with you.

“Green,” you smile. 

He’s pleased with your answer.  He pulls away from you and pushes you towards the bed.

“Lay down on your back.  Head off the side.  I’m going to fuck your throat, and you will take it all.”

You’re giddy as you saunter to the bed and notice that Jimin is proud of the blooming red of your ass.  It’ll be a literal pain in the ass to sit tomorrow, but it’s worth all the doting and affection you’ll receive in return for being such a good girl for him.  The music has changed, another sensual track featuring your talented husband.  It sends shivers down you, straight to your core.

You maneuver your body to lie on the bed, grateful for the soft blanket on your burning ass, and tip your head off the bed.  Your mouth opens complacently and Jimin shoves his sweats down to reveal his hardened length.

You’re licking your lips like his dick is the finest meal money can buy, and he chuckles.  His left hand strokes it, shivering at the cold press of his wedding ring mixing with the heat of his hand. 

“You want my cock?” He asks.

You nod, captivated with the motion he strokes the shaft.  You almost forget to speak, but his harsh gaze is like a whip.

“Yes! Yes, I want your cock Daddy!”

“Tell me what you want to do to me,” he hums.

Well, this would be too easy.

“I want to suck you dry, let you fuck my throat so I can’t breathe.  I’ll let you cum down my throat and make my face so messy from cum and spit that it gets in my eyes and messes up my pretty makeup, daddy.”

His strokes have become faster, and he sucks in hard for air. “Such a filthy fucking mouth.”

You open said mouth again, letting your tongue hang out like a welcome sign to your throat.

He growls, it’s guttural, and it feels as if it’s positioned on your clit, vibrating the nub.  Your bliss is cut short as he drives his thick dick into your mouth and directly to the back of your throat, leaving you no time to prepare.  You whine slightly around it, and he tsks.

“Don’t you fucking dare whine.  Take it all,” he sounds ruthless and your pussy quakes.

He sets a punishing pace, the tip of his dick ramming through your throat.  It doesn’t take long for it to become messy, saliva trickling from your mouth, falling towards your eyes due to the angle of your supine head.  Jimin sounds angelic, the moans that leave the dancer’s body should be recorded and played for an audience, you think.  You’d suffer through hours of this for the reward of his sweet voice crying out your name.

“Fuck, my little cock slut loves it when I fuck her throat, hmm,” he asks, breathy and harsh.  You nod as much as you can.

“Yeah, that’s right.  You love daddy’s cock, don’t you? You love it when I fucking choke the shit out of you with my fat cock, huh?”

The voice of an angel with the words of the devil himself.  The duality is intoxicating and you are head over heels for both Jimin’s inside of him, every aspect of the man you pledged your life to.

“Mmm, you suck me so good,” he’s groping at your tits through the fabric of your bra.  You’re surprised that it’s still on, but you trust he’s aware and always has a plan.  

“Are you crying, baby?” He asks mockingly.  Tears and saliva mix and your face is completely ruined by it.  You nod again and blink.  “Good, fucking choke on it.” he goes even faster and you’re moaning.  It hurts and the gag reflex is there, but the pain gets you off, and you know the second it became too much, your husband would stop in an instant.  

“Little sluts get their face fucked when they disobey daddy,” he chides, emphasising each word with a thrust.  

It’s as if you’re desperate for his orgasm, wanting nothing more than to swallow every ounce of what he spills into you, clean him up and ask for more.  He won’t have that tonight, it seems, as he’s pulling out of you as quickly as he entered.

“I want to cum in this tight little cunt,” he bites.  You slither up from your position and wipe at your eyes, resting against the pillow after he orders you to remove the bustier.  He asks that you leave the belt and stockings on, however. 

“Spread those pretty thighs for me, baby,” he’s discarded his shirt and is sitting ahead of you, watching you.  His gaze turns you on and opens you up like a flower.

Your thighs are spread far and you lean back further onto the pillows to put the star of the show on display.  You’re coated with your slick; it’s slathered up and down your thighs and dripping onto the duvet below you.  He breathes out in appreciation.

“I think my favorite thing about you is how fucking wet you get for me.”  He’s still not moving and you want to beg him to touch you, please do something, but refrain.  “You feel like a fucking dream when I’m inside you.”

“B-baby,” you break character and freeze, but he ignores it and allows you to continue as you sigh with relief. “I need you.”

“Do you now?” he banters, and you nod with wide, needy eyes.

“Touch yourself for me, then.  Show me how badly you want daddy’s cock in you.”

A hand flies to your cunt in record time and you’re desperately eager to spread the lips of your folds apart and rub at your slick and swollen clit.  A breathy, heady moan escapes you at the friction you’ve been aching for since you sent the sexy photo hours ago. 

“Fuck!” you shout, circling the bud.  Jimin’s eyes are glued to your hands, and he watches with awe. 

“Finger yourself,” he demands and you’re obeying before he’s even finished speaking, two fingers slipping down to enter your channel.  You arch off the bed and grip a breast in your other hand, flicking at the nipple for extra sensation.  

He coos at you as you fuck yourself with wild abandon, gasping his name as you slip deeper with each thrust.  

“Add another.”  His voice maintains its even quality, maintained and cool.  But if you opened your eyes, you’d see that he’s salivating at the sight, desperately restraining himself.  His cock is weeping pre-cum and he could explode in an instant watching this too long.

Your ring finger slips in with the other two and you’re keening at the stretch.  The pain is gone in a flash, just a pinch that simmers to a desperate pleasure.  

“You look so fucking good, baby,” he breaks his composure, momentarily.  He’s so in love with you, every single fucking bit, that he can’t help it.  “God, you’re beautiful.”

His words have you blushing, as if they’re the most lewd part of the evening and not the fact you’re fingering yourself in front of your husband while he watches and orders you around.

“Rub your clit with your other hand, love.”

The pressure of your added hand on your clit and the fingers thrusting into you has you soaring to your high and your throat chokes on the air.  “O-oohhh fuckkk!” You whine.

“You close, baby?  You gonna cum on those cute little fingers and get them messy for daddy?” He asks, voice violently serene.

“Y-yes! Please, I want to cum,” you beg.  You know the rules, he tells you where and when your body receives its pleasure.

“You wanna cum?” He asks again, and you feel a spike of irritation.  He’s already asked you that, haven’t you already answered?

“So badly, daddy! Please! C-close.” Words are escaping your mental capacity now.  You’re there, nearly there, just one little tiny string holding you back from the edge of euphoria.

“Too bad.”  

Your fingers are pulled from your cunt quickly and you’re crying.  Tears are forming in your eyes as you feel an ache deep to your womb.  You had been so close, so deliciously close.  Jimin knows this, thrills at watching you edge further and further through the night.  You won’t admit it at the moment, it’s pure torture then, but the buildup to the finale is indescribable.

“You don’t get to fucking cum until I tell you to cum.  Do you understand me?”

“Yes, yes! Yes, Daddy,” you babble, nearly incoherent from arousal and denial. 

He makes you writhe there, pussy so slick its soaking the blankets and you’ll have to change them later but the only thing you think about is your cunt, your weeping cunt that’s screaming to release. 

You feel your breath slowing and know that Jimin wants you to come back down to earth before he’ll bring you up again.

“Good fucking girl,” he kisses your belly, licking at the navel.  He whispers quiet words of adoration as he trails down your abdomen and end at the top of your mound.  Your legs are shaking, no, they’re nearly convulsing from need.

He spreads your folds, and it’s pornographic the way he spits on your pussy, as if it needs any more wetness.  It’s not about the wetness, though, and you know it.  It’s about the message, the ownership.  

“My favorite little fuck toy,” he murmurs, lightly tracing everywhere but the bud throbbing with need for friction.  “I can’t wait to cum inside this little pussy tonight.  Gonna flood your whole fucking cunt, babe.”

Jimin knows the way to your heart, and the way to your orgasms is through his words.  Gentle whispered ‘i love you’s’ in the day and disgusting filth at night.  It’s just another reason in a list of a million why you work so well together. 

“Should we get you nice and pregnant tonight?  You want to make a baby?”  

You nearly sob at his words.  He can fuck you harder with his words than his cock.

“Please!” You’re yelling, tears streaming down your face. “P-please! I want your baby.”

He leans down and smiles for a moment before speaking. “Well, my little wife will always get what she wants when she asks so nicely.”  His lips attach to your clit, suctioning it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it.  It’s swollen and slick, and it feels like fucking heaven.  His plushy lips are working for it, taking you so desperately close to the edge.  

You’re gasping a symposium of his name and praising the ground he walks on.  You’re sure if you died now you’d die a very fucking happy woman.  The world around you is gone, and it’s just Jimin’s sinful mouth suckling at your cunt.

You’re close again, and Jimin knows it.  You’re begging, pleading with him, but it’s useless as he roughly pulls away.

The music continues on in the background.  It’s lighter, and Jimin croons in the speaker as he grunts in your ear.

He muffles your anguished cry with a messy kiss that tastes of you, and he’s thrusting into you.  The slickness guides him in easily and he’s whining against you at the feel of your walls accept him and hugging him tightly as if they’ve missed his cock swelling within them.

“JIMIN!” You’re seeing fireworks as your husband fucks into you, holding you close to him.  It’s as rough and kinky as it is intimate and sweet.  He holds you, cherishes you, while he’s pistoning his thick member into your loud, drenched cunt.  

“I love you,” he whispers, slipping a thumb into your mouth that you suck at eagerly, as skilled with his fingers as you are with his cock.  “I love you so fucking much.”

His eyes align with yours, yours full of tears of absolute unrivaled pleasure, and his with full and never-ending devotion. 

You’re both so close, and you pull him against you to kiss his lips.  You want to connect completely to him as you cum, as he spills into your womb and creates something, someone there. 

Your cunt flutters intensely, quaking in anticipation as it builds and builds and builds.  Jimin breaks the kiss to breathe and warn you, “I’m going to cum soon, baby, please cum with me.”  He’s gentle and sweet, the Jimin who cries at love stories and wears flower crowns now present inside you.  You nod quickly, gasping as the coil winds tighter and tighter.  

Your kissing is messy, passionate, and your hands grasp him everywhere.  You’re tugging at his toned arms and solid back, seeking refuge as the tidal wave grows impossibly high, higher, so so high,

And crashes into you at 100 miles per hour.  Your cunt is contracting and pulsing around him so intensely you nearly black out, crying loudly into his mouth.  He’s groaning with you, the feeling of your already impossibly tight walls clenching down on him demands the orgasm out of him.  He’s cupping your whole face in his hands as he spills into you and your walls suck him in further, so far he could disappear completely.  

It feels as if you orgasm for hours, but it's merely minutes later that you’re trying to catch your breath and slip back into reality.  You’re clinging to each other like last lifelines and the gaze between you is so intense it clenches at your racing heart.  

The silence between you two is long and speaks an entire conversation before your lips even open.  He’s singing so sweetly through the speaker, it sounds like he’s singing directly to you.  “I love you,” you’re whispering to him.

He rubs at your cheeks in his palms, wiping away stray tears of bliss that have slipped down your face.

“I love you.”

You settle into him, unwilling to move a single inch away from your husband, and marvel at the beauty that is your life, your future.  

Jimin holds you close, kisses you gently and sings softly along to the music as you fall asleep, and he adores the fact that he holds his entire world, his future, in his arms.

© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

[vikingqueer]

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

[wr1ter-reader-dreamer]

Angel (Pt. 2)

Angel (Pt. 2)

Harry Styles x Reader

A/N: This one was inspired by Harry’s song Only Angel. It’s five parts in total. If you like it, be sure to give it a reblog and check out the other parts linked below. Thanks, and enjoy <3

Warnings: Ummmmmm anger? Alludes to sex. That’s about it. 

Masterlist

Part 1  -  Part 3  -  Part 4  -  Part 5

My first walk went by in a flash. I hardly realized I was out there before I was disappearing behind the curtain again. Still, I was filled with adrenaline and exuberance when I stepped off and realized that I was a true Angel now. Unable to stop myself from laughing, I allowed myself to be ushered to the rack of clothes holding my outfits for the night. I completely forgot that Harry was even there as I quickly changed and got ready to walk again. With every pass on the runway, I gained confidence. Before too long I was having fun and interacting with the performers, just like the Angels who had been doing this for years.

The show passed by all too fast, and suddenly it was time for the final segment, the Goddesses. As the assistant strapped on my wings, I realized that this time I would have to walk while Harry performed. My nerves returned in droves as I lined up with the other girls and Harry made his way onto the runway.

Harry’s song filtered through the air and Romee started her walk. I closed my eyes as I waited my turn, allowing the smooth voice of my brother’s best friend to fill me. Despite everything that had happened, it still relaxed me, and by the time it was my turn to walk, my nerves were all but gone again.

“Couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that short,” Harry sang as I stepped forward.

I smiled as I remembered a time when he had told me something similar. I was fifteen at the time and wearing a mini skirt for the first time. Harry, who was a few years older than me, had whistled and told me both our mothers would kill me if they saw me. With an eye roll I had told him to fuck off, which earned me another smart-mouthed comment. Five minutes later my mom saw me and yelled at me to go change. Harry teased me about it for weeks.

Seconds later and I was stepping onto the runway, a large smile on my face. Harry’s back was to me as I walked forward, but it wouldn’t be long before he caught site of me. A small part of me admitted that I was excited to see his face when he saw me walk the runway for the first time.

I was at the end of the runway, just finishing my pose and preparing to turn back, when Harry sang the line that made everything about this song click into place.

“Told it to her brother and she told it to me, that she’s gonna be an Angel just you wait and see,” Harry sang, causing me to almost stumble.

My eyes snapped to him, barely concealed horror on my face as I realized that this song was about me. He had written a song about me, of all people.

Then he smirked, holding my eyes and forcing my heart into overdrive as he sang, “When it turns out she’s a devil in between the sheets and there’s nothing she can do about it.”

It took every ounce of my willpower to not drop my smile or blush or stumble. I wished the ground would open up and swallow me because I knew that even though the world didn’t know he was singing about me, both our families did. Unfortunately though, I had to finish my walk with enthusiasm and a smile, all under Harry’s amused gaze.

As soon as i stepped backstage, my smile dropped and my hands began to shake. I made my way to get changed into my final outfit, but I could barely breathe. He had taken the simultaneously best and worst event of my life, written a song about it, and shared it with the world. I knew, even then, that that’s what he did, he wrote songs, but I never thought he’d let the world hear a song about that. To make matters worse, he chose to sing it at the fashion show I had been working toward my whole life. He knew how important this was to me and what seeing him, let alone hearing that song, would do to me. He had ruined this fashion show for me, and had nearly ruined my career, and I was pissed.

I embraced my anger, using it to help me pull myself back together. By the time I was stepping back onto the runway, it was like nothing had happened. Harry was singing the first verse of his song again, but I refused to be swept up in any memories. This time I walked stronger, still with a smile but no longer as playful as I had been before. And this time when I turned at the end of the runway and let my eyes meet his, all that there was for Harry to see was rage.

He didn’t falter as I had hoped, he was too good for that, but he sang the next line with a softer look in his eyes.

“My only angel, woo ooh-ooh,” he sang, his eyes pleading.

Smiling a smile I knew he would notice was fake, I blew him a kiss. harry placed his hand against his heart with a smile that was more genuine than mine and continued singing. Focusing my eyes forward again, I finished my walk. I knew that no one would catch the undertones of the exchange. To them it looked like childhood friends having fun with each other on stage, but to us it was very different. Harry knew me well enough to see the hostility of the action and how angry I was at having my hurtful past forced into the open like that; and I knew him well enough to see the apology in his eyes and the acknowledgement that our pass hurt him too. We were always really good at reading each other, I just didn’t care about his pain anymore. Not after what he did to me then, and especially not after what he just did to me now.

I didn’t have any time to rest before we were lining up for the final walk. Harry stepped off the runway and the first model stepped on. I could feel Harry’s eyes on me but refused to look at him, instead focusing on Martha’s wings in front of me. He would hear from me, but not till after my job was done.

The final walk was exciting, everyone on stage together, confetti falling from the ceiling. But like everything else, it was over all too fast, and we were popping champagne backstage to celebrate. Not in the mood, I made my way back to my rack to get changed into my street clothes. 

“Y/N!” Elsa called just as I was slipping my t-shirt on, “You’re coming to the after part right?”

I grinned, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Yay!” she squealed, giving me a hug then running off to get changed.

I chuckled at her energy, allowing myself to revel in the moment. I had just walked in a Victoria’s Secret fashion Show, as an official Angel, and now I would go to an official after party. Chuckling again, I thought about Harry’s song and how perfect it really was for the show. I told him I would make it, and I finally did. But I was still going to kill him for releasing that song.

Pulling my phone out of my purse that was sitting next to the rack, I searched for Harry’s contact. It had changed a lot over the years, but he always sent me the new one, and for reasons I wasn’t going to admit, I always saved it. Quickly finding it, my thumb hovered over the “message” option, stopped by his contact picture.

It was the same picture it had always been, from long ago when things were happy. Harry was standing with his arms around me, holding me tight against his chest. He was pressing a sloppy kiss to my forehead, and I was making a face at the camera, but it was obvious that I enjoyed it. We were both happy, and our happiness was shining from us like a light. It was after we had realized how we felt, but before everything went wrong.

Sighing, I pushed back the emotions bubbling up at the sight of the picture and clicked on the “message” option. I typed out a quick message and hit send before I could second guess myself.

‘Are you coming to the after party’

Within seconds the little typing bubble popped up. I held my breathe as I waited a few seconds for his reply.

‘Do you want me to?’

I rolled my eyes and contemplated just ignoring him. Of course I didn’t want him to go, but I also wanted the chance to yell at him for that song. Deciding to let him sit and stew for a bit, I gathered up my things instead of replying.

Once I had my purse, shoes, and jacket on, I pulled my phone back out. I decided on, ‘We need to talk’ so I didn’t have to actually answer his question. He replied almost instantly.

‘Is the party really the best place to talk?’

‘Yes, there will be too many witnesses for me to kill you.’

I smiled to myself, pleased with my answer.

‘Lol. Really, angel? You, kill me?’

I huffed, annoyed at his use of the nickname he had given me years ago when I insisted I’d be an Angel one day. When I was younger it was cute, but after the first night we… it wasn’t cute anymore. 

‘Yes. Are you coming or not?’

I waited about a minute for a response, but when I didn’t get one, I decided to head to my hotel room. I still had to get ready for the party after all.

My phone dinged just as I got into a cab. I told the driver the name of the hotel we had been put up in, then took out my phone.

‘Yes, I’m coming. But this would probably be better in private. Come to my hotel room. 839 at the Park Hyatt.’

I laughed and rolled my eyes. Of course he was staying at the same hotel as us. But, he was right. There would be a lot of cameras and people at the party, and this wouldn’t exactly be a casual conversation. I would probably yell, and he would probably try to remind me of the happy times, and I didn’t really want anyone to hear that. Not only would it end up all over the Internet, but the girls and I weren’t exactly close. They don’t need to know about my past.

Huffing, I typed out a reply just as the cab pulled up to the hotel.

‘Fine. I’ll be there in 5.’

I paid the cabbie and thanked him for the ride, then slid out. Summoning my anger back to the forefront of my mind, I stormed through the lobby. Before I could get onto the elevator, however, I heard someone call my name from behind. 

Turning, I saw Alessandra making her way toward me with concern on her face.

“Hey Ali,” I sighed, “what’s up?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re ok. You haven’t really talked to any of us since the show started,” she said softly.

“I’m fine, I promise,” I smiled softly, appreciating her concern, “I just have something I need to do before the party.”

“Ok,” she said cautiously, not convinced that I was actually fine, “But promise to call me if you need anything.”

My smile widened, knowing she really meant it, “Ok mom, I will.”

Alessandra laughed, pushing my shoulder and telling me bye as she walked away. I smiled after her. She really was like a mom, and I was honestly glad that I had her here with me. Especially since I didn’t exactly have my family anymore.

Sighing, I hit the button for the elevator. I tapped my foot as I waited, my nerves bubbling up full force. I was pissed, but I was also nervous. I hadn’t been alone with Harry in five years, and the last time I was, I made the mistake that cost me my entire family. He was so charming, and so good at getting me to forget why I was mad. But I couldn’t let myself forget, not this time.  This time was too important, and he had ruined my life too many times already.

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened. Taking a deep breathe, I steeled my nerves and stepped on. It was time to face the music and to finally face my past.

[wickymicky]

my top 10 favorite kpop singles of the first half of 2021

i did one of these at the end of march, for the first quarter of the year, and this is my update for the second quarter, which obviously is also the first half of the year lol. so like, that’s kind of a big deal, we already know half of all the kpop that will be released this year, and im starting to have strong favorites that all the stuff from the second half of the year will have to struggle to beat, haha. 

rather than do a big thing like my year-end list that i did at the end of 2020, i’m gonna limit myself to just three sentences per song for songs 10-6, and five sentences for the top 5 songs haha. if these songs are good enough, and they stay high on my list all the way through to the end of the year, then i’ll post big full-size reviews of them then, i guess. or if you want to know more of what i think about something, or why i put something where i did, feel free to ask me about it lol, i love having discussions about this kind of stuff

anyway here’s the list

10: Lunarsolar - DADADA This is kind of a surprise pick for me lol, and I’d be lying if I said that at least half of the reason I wanted to include it here wasn’t just because I want more people to know about this song, and also to surprise people with an interesting pick haha. But genuinely, I think this song is really solid, there aren’t many flaws with it that I can even think of, and I’ve listened to it a ton since it came out. It’s such a fun song, and if you like girl groups and you don’t know this song, then I highly recommend it haha

9: Rocket Punch - Ring Ring When I saw the teaser images, I thought this would be a disco concept, and like it kind of is... but only in the visuals lmao, the song seems pure 80s synthwavey stuff, more like Everglow La Di Da than GFriend Mago (and I’m into that, personally haha). This was a really cool comeback for this group, and I’m continuing to get more and more into them with each new thing they do! I don’t really have a lot to say about it, but it’s just fun and catchy and bright and loud and good, and yeah, it’s a song I’ve really enjoyed listening to a lot, which is really all that you need in order to make it on this list, you know?

8: Cherry Bullet - Love So Sweet This song feels really simple to me, but in a good way! It really feels like the songwriter(s) had a really good idea one day, and wrote a song for it immediately, rather than trying to start a song and come up with ideas as they went haha. It feels like everything in the song is in service to that underlying idea, and everything helps bring it to life more

7: Itzy - In the Morning (or Mafia in the Morning, whichever you prefer. I just tend to call it “Mafia” and nothing else, lol) Okay this one might be kind of a hot take, cause I’ve seen people be prettttty divided on this song, but I personally love it haha. Sure, the lyrics are corny as hell, but that’s nothing new for kpop, and I do think the use of the mafia game as a song motif is kind of interesting, I suppose. But honestly the biggest reason why I love it is the production haha, cause damn this song hits hard and the instrumental just sounds so cool (as do the bsides! their Guess Who mini album is my album of the year so far for sure, no question)

6: Fromis 9 - We Go I’m so glad Fromis came back with this song, and I feel like it’ll be a really meaningful song for me in time. This period of time right now, when we’re starting to feel like progress is being made in the fight against this virus that’s been dominating our lives for a year and a half... I think this song captures that feeling perfectly, possibly without even necessarily trying to. It sounds like a sigh of relief, meeting friends who you haven’t seen in a long time, or just the reassurance that even though many people are still very much in quarantine and taking things very seriously, this won’t be forever and there is still good in the world... that’s what it sounds like to me 

5: TRI.BE - Rub-a-Dum This one was kind of a surprise for me lol, cause I wasn’t expecting to like a song with this title this much. I like Doom Doom Ta, and I would have put it relatively high on this list if Rub-a-Dum hadn’t come out afterwards, but I feel like this song does everything that Doom Doom Ta did but better, and in a bit more of an interesting way. It was written by Shinsadong Tiger and LE from EXID (just as Doom Doom Ta was) and I think this song has LE’s touch all over it, in the best way. I love that this song is kind of experimental, cause like it only has one verse... it goes Intro > Verse > Prechorus > Chorus > Bridge > Final Chorus haha, and i think that’s mostly so that you can luxuriate in that chorus drop as much as possible. The song just really works for me overall, it’s super solid and I just couldn’t deny that it’s in my top 5 favorite songs of the year so far. 

4: Dreamcatcher - Odd Eye As soon as this song came out, it was another moment of “Wow, Dreamcatcher just put out the song of the year right at the beginning”, just like they did in 2020 lol. But as the year has gone on, I think I’m not as into this song as I was into Scream and Boca (the other two from Dreamcatcher’s Dystopia trilogy, with Scream being my SOTY last year). But like... a Dreamcatcher comeback that I feel is just fairly decent and not one of my most favorites... still gets it to 4th place overall haha. That’s just Dreamcatcher’s power, even the songs I’m not as obsessed with are ones that I still get pretty obsessed with. I love this vibe, it’s a really different take on a cyberpunk-y genre from other kpop songs that have dabbled in it, and overall I think every member slayed this (especially Handong who made her triumphant return this comeback!)

3: Weeekly - After School Okay, I’ve been pretty conflicted on this song, because even though initially I wasn’t sure how much I would get into it, it nevertheless is my single most-listened-to song of 2021 so far. Part of that is how much I love Weeekly, part of that is how fun the performances were to watch (and I’m counting watching those as listens to the song lol), but also I think it really did grow on me quite a bit, and I was even considering it to be my favorite of the year for a while. It’s a lot of fun, it’s really catchy, and it’ll probably go down as one of their most iconic and fan-favorite comebacks. It’s the kind of song that’ll get stuck in your head for weeks. It’s just very very very very... Weeekly, haha. 

2: Everglow - First This song is a fucking whirlwind, and it really beat the shit out of me just like the members do to the camera in the music video lmao. It’s pretty different from La Di Da, which has become one of my favorite kpop songs ever, but I really really like it too. I feel like First is what Everglow were going for with Adios and Dun Dun, but fully realized, in a more complete form. I love how high their budget seems to be now, and I love how they seem to be really coming into their own as a group, I feel like this is the Everglow they were always meant to be. Honestly, I could see this maybe becoming my SOTY by the end of the year, and it’s very close (within 10 or so) to being my most-listened song of the year, but I do still think it’s too soon to say for sure haha

1: STAYC - ASAP This was such a hard decision to make, because honestly the top 4 on this list were all really strong contenders for first place, but after a lot of thought, I’ve decided that ASAP is the one I feel like I’m the least likely to change my mind on. I’ve listened to this song every single day since it came out, except for like 4 or so, which means that even though I’ve listened to it less than the three songs below it on this list, I’ve listened to it more consistently than any of them... I just have not gotten tired of it. It’s such a breath of fresh air for kpop. It’s kind of minimalist because it really doesn’t have any extra stuff, it’s very streamlined and it knows exactly what it is and that’s all it needs to be, and that makes for a very satisfying listen, in my opinion. This song sounds like what heart-shaped things look like. ASAP ❤︎

[pupmastersd]

A Pup’s Tale

Chapter 6:

Now, Listen, slave!

His immediate message almost surprises me. The sudden change in tone causes me to unknowingly sit up a bit straighter and wait patiently as his typing icon dances across my screen.

From now on, whenever you are talking with Me you will always add “Master” to whatever you are saying. This will be a sign to show you are talking to your superior. Do you understand, slave?

Without thinking, I quickly respond with:

Yes, Master.

Secondly, I will always be in control. You may not ask Me any questions until I have given you permission to do so. Do you understand?

Yes, Master. I understand, Master.

Good. You seem curious, and I am one hell of a curious man Myself. I think I became curious the time I saw some men had dicks (Masters) and others had pussies (slaves) lol😄

I am very curious with many kinks haha! So what sort of kinky things are you into?

I have not given you permission to ask me questions, slave. AND you did not address Me with My proper title.

I’m sorry, Master! I’m sorry. I guess I still need more training.

If this happens again, you will need to be disciplined.

Disciplined? How would that work? The thought of Him punishing me makes my member start to throb.

It won’t happen again, Master.

Okay. I see you are new to BDSM, so I should let you know what the lifestyle is all about. What is important to note so that BDSM is role play. We act that you’re a slave and I’m the Master. We like to live that lifestyle, but the only reason it works is because both participants choose to make it work. Out of love. Out of mutual respect. The love and respect is what’s real, the bondage is an illusion.

Thank you for that explanation, Master. I feel like I’ve been preparing for this since college lol. My friends and I have been playing D&D for years!

That is good to hear, slave. A healthy BDSM relationship is a healthy mixture of fantasy and reality. So, you are here to serve and obey, as you may have seen on My Tumblr profile. I am Jake. I am dominant. I am superior. I am demanding and will not have it any other way. I will only accept true servitude with integrity and you will learn to cater for My needs. You will earn your rewards as you will experience My lead henceforth. Do you understand?

Yes, Master. I am here to serve and obey.

I always enjoy a faithful relationship. I prefer having one loyal and humble slave to a colony of slaves. I think having one slave increases the connection and level of relationship a Master and His slave might share. So now that I am interested in you, you must cease talking to any other Master. Your service to Me is your reward. Your thoughts and opinions will always be taken into consideration, but the final decisions will always be mine.

You are the only Master I have. It is a reward to see your messages, Master. They bring me so much excitement!

Okay. I guess you want to know some more things about me, huh boi?

Yes, please, Master!

Well, I live in the midwest. I work in an office. Some of my hobbies are drawing, writing, video games, singing, listening to music, spending time with someone I share a connection with, finding new experiences as well as finding new kinks, traveling, swimming, camping, hiking, hardening, home decorating, sports, and going to the gym.

Wow, Master! I also live in the midwest! I can’t believe how close we might be. And those all sound great! I enjoy doing many of those activities, too. You sound like an amazing Master to serve.

Thank you, slave. I am also pleased you are within my grasp. As for My experience in the kinky lifestyle, I began My journey as a Master early in life. I noticed from a tender age that I had always wanted to be heard, to lead, and to dominate. I became more aware of these tendencies as a teenager and would not date girls, but boys. Or rather, I wanted these boys to do Me favors, complete My chores, and run errands for Me. I would even pick on or bully them as a I grew quicker and was bigger than most of my peers. When I was 20, I got invited to a kinky party for the first time. I saw a lot of fetish scenes with men dominating men and that was it. I began my curiosity and the rest is history. I now have about 7 years of experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have trained 2 males as My slaves before now. One slave was released due to a professional opportunity which caused him to move a great distance. The other slave opted to become a Master himself to another slave. He chose to use my training in order to train another. I am both proud and saddened by his departure.

Dang! That is really hot, Master. It sounds like You’ve had quite the life of experiences. I’m sorry for the loss of Your other two slaves, though selfishly I’m happy You are able to be my Master.

Well, I hope to enjoy new experiences with you as My obedient slave. I am looking for the ultimate slave companion, one who will let Me keep them forever. When I come to visit you, I am sure I can train you with discipline to be the perfect toy for Me to use. I will also be able to accommodates as I have a basement with the intentions on making it a mini-dungeon/playroom.

I hope so too, Master. I know I have a lot to learn from You. I’m excited to see where things go while being Your slave! A mini-dungeon sounds like the kinky dream, Master.

Okay, now, qualities I expect from you as a good slave are as follows: you must always be honest, respectful, attentive, submissive, open-minded, and have a good ability to communicate through your actions that at all times you are submissive and reference Me as your superior. I have quite a wide range of kinks and activities I enjoy so I hope you will be eager to wear My collar and leash, relinquishing total control of yourself to Me as a true slave should. I fantasize about having great times together and exploring kinks we may not know we had.

Yes, Master. Woof! I am eager. My neck is bare and my tail is wagging (if I had one lol). I would kiss Your feet if I could!

Mmmm. That would please your Master. I have had some fantasies already involving you. I see Myself with you, My abducted slave, ready to give up all his pleasure for the sake of My pleasures only. As My voluntary slave, you could quit any time, but no matter how I treat you, (or humiliate you), you will always be willing to go the extra mile for Me or take the extra pain to please Me. Now it’s late. It is time for bed. It is important to maintain a healthy lifestyle which we will talk more about later. Sleep well, slave. Thank you for taking such a big leap today. You’re a good boi!

I look at the clock: 2:00 AM. I can’t believe we were talking all day and night!

Good night, Master. Thank you for presenting me with this opportunity! 💜

To be continued . . .

Prelude

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

[onlyhereforangst]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by @indestinatus 💕

tagging whoever wants to go thru this journey with me & see their accomplishments in this terrible terrible year!

1. List of works published this year:

Oh god there’s a lot, like 70 total in just 2020. I’ll try to categorize them so this doesn’t get too long 😅but here’s a cut for aesthetic on your dash.

Sequels/Partner Fics: Risk It All (for @hellokaelyn), Finally Home (to Come Back), They Always Do & Could She?, Lucky Day & Completely Yours, Fiery Trance (Two Can Play series), Obsessed (Particular Taste), Soul (to Ignited)

Smut: My Turn (sequel to My Pleasure), Worth It, Maybe We Should, Make it a Double (also a fic request), Shall We (AU)

Fic Requests: Coffee Run, Hold Still, Typical, Deal, Needed It, I’m Home, For Science, Cry Me A River, From Your Dreams (AU), Crystal Clear, Tempt Me, Your Fault, Prove It, Silent Proclamation, A Hundred Suns (angst smut), Duly Noted

Stand Alones: No More, Never Let Her Go, Life is Fragile, Pandemics & Peach Drinks, To Need and Be Needed, Never Let Go, Coming Home, Priceless, Behind The Mask, Need a Hand?

Angst: My Daisy, Status Quo, Can I Stay, I Refuse, Deal

Series/Multi-chaptered: Back Off (Better Apart, Missed The Mark, Change Her Mind, But You Do, Layered Love), Electrified (Don’t Stop (Senorita)), Here By Faith, Forgive & Forget, Angstober ‘20 (Never Has & Never Will, Only In My Head, Long, Long Gone, Do Something, Take Care, Waiting to Burn, Survive the Hell, Find Her, Never Ended Well, At All Costs, One Thing Right, Stay Away, Echoed Back, Smart Man, Not Interested, Flake Again, Release, Slipping Away)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Here By Faith mainly because of the topic. Pregnancy & Infant loss has been such a taboo topic for so long and something I have personal experience with so writing this was very therapeutic. 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Shall We and only because I truly wanted way more plot in this and it turned out to be essentially just straight smut with a tiny bit of plot. But it is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Ok I had 70 fics to choose from not breaking down chapters so I’m sure I’m missing something, BUT I do love - omg typing this out I realized it’s from a fic in 2019 so I can’t use iiiiiit 😩 ok so here’s a couple excerpts. I loved typing out this stream of conscious partner fics (They Always Do & Could She?):

They Always Do:

Yet this time, this time she didn’t have the chance to rebuild. Like a Trojan horse, he waltzed right up to her and slowly dismantled her defense. Joke by joke, smirk by smirk—Nick took each brick down with care. The worst part? It was so subtle, so thoughtfully done, she didn’t even notice it was happening. Didn’t see her chest being pried open, beating heart on display for him to see, and take. Never realized her greatest defenses were missing until it was too late.

That love- precious, fragile, delicate love- had managed to grow again. In her desolate, cold heart, Nick managed to bring to life an emotion she had long given up on. An emotion she was too afraid to ever feel again. Because with it came agony.

They leave, and you’re abandoned- picking up the pieces of a shattered heart.

When you love, you lose. Always.

Could She?:

But-

Even if that was love, even if he loved Ellie with his whole heart, his entire being. Was that enough? Was Nick enough? Was he deserving?

A resounding no clanged around his skull like a church bell in a Southern town on Sunday morning. He wanted to silence it, stop the shrill metal sound that started any time he pictured forever. Any time he truly thought he might deserve to love, even after all he’d done. After all the unimaginable things he’d done, the horrors he’d seen, the pain he’d caused. That bell sounded, loud and clear.

How did he deserve love when he couldn’t bear to love himself?

[...]

Could she love him despite all his misgivings? Could she love him even when he didn’t love himself? Could she love him when there was a risk he’d be taken from her too soon?

Could she?

Please love me.

But please be sure.

There’s been a couple of other inner monologues that I have absolutely loved (I like to think it’s semi my speciality? But maybe that’s super arrogant of myself?) but that’s a different post for another time.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I said it recently but I *love* when people pick out specific line(s) from my fic and choose to comment on those. More often than not it’s a line I was so proud of either prose-wise or foreshadowing-wise or whatever and I get literally giddy with excitement that someone not only noticed it but also loved it enough to comment on it 🥰but truly any kind of comment is dopamine-inducing 😉

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

As some people may have noticed (& maybe not because I did still semi-run the other main ellick blog despite it) I was somewhat absent for most of the summer/fall. I struggled for the first time in my life with mental health issues, borderline depression after being in a shit work environment, an essential worker with a company that claimed to “care” about us, a community that I once loved but showed their true colors in the midst of the pandemic & election, add in a rough pregnancy & it was a recipe for disaster. I didn’t want to even move from the couch most days let alone write. 

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I had a lot of fun writing short excerpts from different characters’ perspectives (Jimmy, Kasie, McGee & Gibbs) in my Angstober series & honestly wouldn’t mind doing that again!

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Honestly not sure, I think I’ve just generally grown as a writer - better descriptions & descriptors, better dialogue, better plots. But that could all be me seeing things 😂

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’d love to look into writing more seriously. My husband is convinced I could write an episode script or a novel, so I may look into trying my hand at that (even though I feel I’d be god-awful at it 😅)

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Hmmmm I always appreciate the support I’ve gotten from the ellick fandom despite it being rough this year for us, wonderful people like @erinchristmaselvis, @thekeyboardninja, @hellokaelyn & @wanna-be-bold are always there to either hear me vent or cheer me on ☺️

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Haaaaah yes. Lots of it (but I bet you can’t tell because I only add mini snippets so have fun finding those easter eggs 😏)

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Always, always, always write for YOU. Not for anyone else, the kudos, hits, comments, none of it. Write for YOU. And I say this as a reminder to myself as well, it’s so hard to get bogged down in that dopamine-induced craze we search for in recognition but it’s so important to not externally validate yourself rather internally validate yourself on baby steps of growth & accomplishment. 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

LOL how about all my WIPs? All of those stories I started forever ago that people call me out on not finishing months later when I swear they’ve forgotten about them 😬

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Hmmmm lemme pick one from each category because I’m indecisive 😉

Sequel/Partner Fics: Lucky Day & Completely Yours (the aaaaangst)

Smut: a tie between Maybe We Should & Make it a Double

Fic Request: A Hundred Suns (because I love me some angst smut)

Stand Alones: Pandemics & Peach Drinks (hahahaha because this was in an Insider news article at the start of the pandemic hahaha so on brand #2020)

Angst: My Daisy (I looooooove this one, but also all of the angst category lol)

Series/Multi-chaptered: literally not one of these is finished and they’re all heavy angst so take your pick 😂

15. Year word count: 103,050 in 2020 which seems like so little 😅

Here’s to 2021 being the year I finish WIPs! she says knowing she’s lying

[kirstinmaldonado]

CHAPTER EIGHT 2.0

>>Delayed post because birthday week had all the friend surprises and snuggles and I got a bit distracted but…still wanted to post<<

It’s my birthdayyyy week~! My biiiiiiirthday week!

The dreaded time has come? The anticipated event is here? Honestly 28 felt so far away for quite some time, I’m kinda in denial that one, it’s May already and two, I’m going to be 28 this Saturday!!

So far I’ve been filling the week with cuddles, some friends and family calls, and oooo another BESTIE PRODUCTIONS vid?!? We had planned on releasing earlier, but why the rush? Why take the joy out of creating for fun by setting deadlines that don’t really matter? 

Anyway, we hope you love it! It’s always important to unite and spread some relatable cheer especially in such a divisive climate! More on that coming…I don’t mean to do it but…soon. Lots of moving parts and our lives are picking up in different and amazing ways but we still hope to get it out!

Phew. No hashtags here! ;)

So many events happened over the last few days, good and bad! Some even that I am disappointed in, ashamed of, or at a loss for. But! This week is all about self-care! I’ll save the heavy for another time. ;)

Self-care, in its many facets, is so important! Self-care is making healthy food choices to nurture your body so it can be at optimal output. Self-care is strengthening and nourishing your mind by learning something new, doing a hobby you love, meditating, or just purely relaxing. It’s having the awareness to say no when you don’t want to do something or you know the adverse is better for you. Really, self-care is ALL ABOUT YOU!

Biggest of all, self-care is NOT selfish! Everyone needs to be self-aware and know when to take some personal time. Everyone decompresses in different ways. Sometimes that’s choosing an introverted quiet night as opposed to an extroverted one, or splurging on something to make you feel special, or baking way too many cupcakes and eating also way too many (if you’re me, ha)!!

With all the rushing around and intensity we’ve trained our minds and bodies to endure, with all the added stress of not even wanting, but NEEDING to succeed and flourish, that self-care dwindles. Sometimes it feels like you have to put YOU aside because everything else is so overwhelming!

I remember in the past thinking that skin-care took such a loooong time and felt not worth it. My skin (thank you, Mother) was pretty damn flawless for how (wrongly) I’d been taking care of it, so why bother?

That was before I met my sweet Klara!! And while my skin wasn’t in desperate emergency levels of fixing, she reminded me that pre-meditative care is crucial and so is slowing down and taking the time for myself! 

Klara and I met years ago when I was in NYC looking for a lash lift. Pentatonix had just started taking off and just recently Klara had opened her own med-spa in the city. We bonded instantly and have been friends ever since!! 

Meanwhile, if you live in NYC and want the best lash lift ever, ya gotta go to Klara, HANDS DOWN! 

Every time Pentatonix would be in NYC, I would go visit her. Even if I didn’t need anything done or didn’t have the time, I would stop in and say hello because that is the type of beautiful energy she is! And slowly, we began growing together!

I love my friendship with her because not only did she love on my eyelashes, skin, face, etc and teach me how to do the same at home, but she’s been there through the last six or so years of my life! I have transformed into a much more self-aware, happier, and self-comfortable person and I treasure her sincerity, compassion, and late night chats so so much!!

Although I don’t get to see Klara all the time as she is based in NYC, I always have other forms of self-care in a similar vein. As we all know, Covid has shut down pretty much all forms of outside self-care treatments, although someone should tell the people in charge that self-care is essential, eh?!

I kid. Jokes aside, I miss relaxing my body and mind to a caregiver. I miss getting my hair done, getting a mani-pedi, tanning, and getting a massage! I miss that “treat yo self” feeling, and drinking champagne while doing them all, ha!

So, for my birthday week, I wanted to share with you a fun DIY self-care facial curated by Klara herself! My chin has been OUT OF CONTROL and colonizing a little zit farm, so freshening up before my big day (inside lol) felt perfect!!

Since she initially sent me this, she has curated a NEW personalized facial package that she will guide you through on Zoom, but regardless she is an angel for all your skin questions and needs!

>>By the way now that this is posted a week later…my skin has NO JOKE been FLAWLESS! Klara is still a queen for the win but also loving on your face and listening to what it needs also FTW<<

So here I am au natural, pre-peel!! 

ONE. PREPARE YOUR STATION! PUT NICE MUSIC ON, A CANDLE, WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO PROMOTE A RELAXING VIBE! HAVE A CLEAN COUNTER WHERE YOU CAN PLACE THE DENTAL BIB AND LAY EVERYTHING OUT! 

TWO. WASH YOUR HANDS! ;) 

THREE. USE JAR #1 WITH FIRST CLEANSER, ADD WATER, FOAM, BE PRECISE AROUND JAW AND EARS ETC, RINSE, PAT DRY.

FOUR. REPEAT THE SAME WITH JAR WITH CLEANSER #2 (THE CREAM, IT WILL NOT FOAM) RINSE AND DRY

>>Already my face is feeling much softer!<<

FIVE. POUR THE MINI CHEMICAL PEEL (VIAL #3) ONTO COTTON PAD, WIPE WHOLE FACE GENTLY! I EXPERIENCED THE TINGLING AND EEE YES MY FACE GOT RED, BUT NOTHING MAJOR! LEAVE ON FOR 3/5 MIN!

SIX. USE JAR #4 (GLYCOLIC CLEANSER), RINSE AND DRY.

SEVEN. THEN APPLY SERUMS (JUST FEW DROPS) ALL OVER THE FACE

EIGHT. MASQUE FOR 10 MIN. 

NINE. MOISTURIZE!

HAPPY GIRL! I felt AMAZING, y’all!!

You can check out Klara’s ZOOM FACIAL PACKAGE here and on social media outlets! And I am NOT kidding, my skin was SO SOFT!!! I felt less bumpy, less exposed! And it’s stayed like that too! 

This little self-love moment put me in the perfect headspace for a birthday weekend, especially when that weekend was not according to plan! Life is about continuously adapting, taking what you have in front of you, and trying to make the best of the situations you are presented! You can only control so much! So why not focus on positivity?

I was so thankful for this little pick me up that made me feel good about being in my skin, something I’ve struggled on and off with the entire rest of quarantine! But overall I am SO thankful for how special my friends, my boyfriend, my family, YOU GUYS all made me feel! I didn’t feel devoid of any of your love and care. And thank you so much for that!!!

28 has started out so special in some (feeling) unspecial circumstances. I will always rise and fall and even have so far in these mere hours of 28! But I am so happy for your support. Just remember to always support yourself too! 

So on that note, I hope you find time before the month is done for some EXTRA self-care!!!

And happy 3 years to Break a Little <3

Love you all!