#they exchanged numbers in case of emergencies

[ataraxianne]

Ladybug blocked him after this

[seuonji]

彡 in your favour, i’m in your arms. — choi seungcheol

notes ๑ gn!reader, college setting. guest appearance, jeon wonwoo & kim mingyu. yn’s circle: soonyoung and seungkwan / seungcheol’s circle: jeonghan and joshua!! unrequited love occurs.

genre ๑ fwb/situationship to lovers, angst, fluff.

warnings ๑ physical affection (kissing (part eleven), sleeping in each other’s bed), characters getting drunk, mentions of eating. possessive characters. (lmk if i missed any!!<3)

word count ๑ 12k

from aya: reblog if you enjoyed! i’ve been working on this for 3 months. i hope you enjoy :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'):.

one, current location — cheol’s apartment.

your phone buzzed and your phone screen lit signing you got a notification. you knew who it was from cause everyone else was muted. “mm— cheol—“ you struggled in between kisses wanting to part so you could read the message. he sighed and only parted his lips yet his face was still close and his hands were on your hips, “yea?” his eyes were on you, and yours was on the text message you just received.

”give me a second, let me reply to this guy,” you moved away from him and unlocked your phone. seungcheol stood at the side and rested his arm on the counter behind you.

you read the text and smiled softly. the text was from a guy you’ve been talking to in class, jeon wonwoo. his text read, “hey, i’m free tomorrow after the class we have together, we can meet up then?”

he was responding to something you said earlier where you asked if he was interested in getting coffee or lunch with you. he said yes but he needed to check his schedule first. he then asked for your phone number so he could message you and let you know.

as you read his response you instantly felt the need to talk about it to your friends. “i gotta go,” you hopped off the stool you were sitting on and gathered your things in a rush, “can you unlock the door please?”

“huh? where are you going?” cheol furrowed his eyebrows and reached out for you arm but you moved too quick, placing your shoes on already. you always stayed until dinner but you had to cut your time with him short. “i’m gonna meet kwan and kwon!” you smiled brightly. your smile brought a warmth to him that no one else could. usually he’d convince you to stay but it seemed like it was an emergency?

“alright take care of yourself okay? tell me when you get back home,” seungcheol opened the door of his apartment and stood against the frame with his arms crossed. “always will! sorry you have to eat dinner alone,” you finished getting your shoes on and stood up.

he tilted his head in confusion and adoration for how you felt bad over something like that. giving you a kiss on the forehead he affirmed, “i think han and shua should be coming home soon but even if they weren’t, it’s okay.” you exchanged your goodbyes and you walked to the elevator simultaneously texting your friends you’d be on your way to their place.

「kwan: 👍」

+

two, current location — kwan and kwon’s.

you ringed the doorbell and didn’t get a response for a few seconds. you turned the doorknob just to try and it turned all the way meaning it was unlocked. you sighed, “soonyoung!” the two were on their couch totally immersed in the k-drama they were watching so they barely noticed you.

seungkwan turned his head and his eyes widened when he saw you. “oh my god-“ he smacked soonyoung’s head. “what!” soonyoung rubbed his head. “you forgot to lock the door? again?” you stomped in frustrated.

“we are actually going to have a burglary and murder case one day,” seungkwan points out as he’s still hitting soonyoung. recently soonyoung has been forgetting to lock the doors of their apartment and it’s becoming a problem.

after the two settled they welcomed you in and poured you a glass of your favourite drink. they bought a carton specially for you. “so what’s up, what story do you have for us today?” seungkwan sat down beside you on the couch.

“you will not guess who i got a date with!” you shifted your position to face the two.

soonyoung looked at you puzzled but based on your excitement, it had to be someone weird, “yoon jeonghan?”

you denied quickly, “no? jeonghan and i would never work out.”

“damn, so you’ve thought about it,” seungkwan rested his chin on his hand in disbelief. “i had to! we played truth or dare and jeonghan asked me if i’d date him! that apartment is like a frat house.”

they snickered at the story, “is it xu minghao?” seungkwan continued.

“oh my god do you think i can get with the xu minghao?”

“no not really.”

you ignored him and showed the text from wonwoo.

“jeon wonwoo!?” soonyoung shouted, “pro gamer jeon wonwoo!?” “the nerdy guy that sits behind you in that one class!?” seungkwan jumped in his seat.

“nerd? i'm pretty sure he benches more than you!?” you argued.

“he does?” soonyoung covered his mouth from shock. “nerdy has nothing to do with the gym,” seungkwan rolled his eyes.

“why is it such a shock? isn’t he hot?”

“hot? i guess but your type? i didn’t think so,” soonyoung squinted his eyes as if he was trying to picture you two together.

seungkwan stood up, hands on his head as if it’s a crisis situation, “how did this even happen?”

you just giggled and shrugged your shoulders, “i don’t know, i’ve talked to him a couple times and i made him laugh one time, next thing i knew, i was asking him out and he said yes.”

seungkwan snorted and teased, “you made him laugh one time? were you pointing a gun at his head that one time?” you hit him with a pillow multiple times.

“so are you letting go of seungcheol?” seungkwan looked at you intently, “wonwoo does not seem like the type who would be okay with your…habits? current routine?” referring to the way you were practically sleeping in seungcheol’s bed every night.

your eyes bounced around the house. if you were being honest, you liked seungcheol and seungcheol was undeniably smitten with you.

but that’s as far as you two go.

it became clear you guys weren’t exclusive when he had no reaction to you going out with someone else that wasn’t him. the zero signs of care in his eyes when you walked by him with the new guy made you understand that he only needed you there for the convenience and to fill the void of affection.

and so you silently told everyone that’s what you wanted as well. at the very least, it wasn’t as heartless as other friends with benefits existing out there, he cared about you and that’s what made it so hard to leave. but eventually, you grew out of it. you wanted to put a label on something.

bottom line, you wanted more.

perhaps that’s why wonwoo was so exciting to you. it’s something new. he’s someone that potentially wants what you want.

soonyoung nodded in agreement, “right? like he seems like he’s into long term, that kind of stuff.”

“guys i haven’t even went out with him yet!” you wailed. “give it awhile then maybe we can start looking further than just friends, you know?”

“of course, of course,” seungkwan raised his eyebrows quietly processing everything.

soonyoung who was sitting on the floor shifted closer to you and rested his cheek on your knee, “what’re you wearing tomorrow?” “omg i don’t know! let’s go plan,” you grabbed him and seungkwan and ran to the guest room where you left some of your clothes in case you stay the night.

+

three, current location — seungcheol, jeonghan & joshua’s apartment.

the sound of the door unlocking echoed into the apartment. “we’re home!” jeonghan and joshua lugged into the space. they were seungcheol’s roommates or more like parasites—

“welcome home, what do you guys wanna eat?” seungcheol got up from the couch. “we can just order today,” jeonghan said before walking into his room to freshen up.

“no yn?” joshua looked around. “no they had to leave to meet up with soonyoung and seungkwan, seemed urgent.”

“urgent?” joshua tilted his head. “yea why?” “the last time yn left for an ‘urgent’ reason, it was cause they started going out with that kim mingyu guy?”

seungcheol scrolled on his phone looking for food to order completely uninterested in the conversation “and?”

“and then you told mingyu to fuck off so mingyu cut ties with yn?” joshua passive-aggressively recalled.

“yeaa, that was funny he didn’t stand a chance with yn, he didn’t even try,” seungcheol scoffed.

joshua looked at seungcheol with a touch of flame in his eyes, “don’t you think you’re being unfair to yn?”

“what do you mean?”

“just asking, have you ever genuinely asked them what they wanted? if they ever wanted to have something more than a friends with benefits?”

“why do you think yn wants that?”

“oh i don’t know, maybe with the fact that despite being with you they’re still trying to see other people? yn and mingyu were a great couple until you crashed it.”

“the fact they came back to me after that, kinda makes it clear they didn’t like him all that much.”

“what are you gonna do when one day they don’t come back?” joshua crossed his arms.

seungcheol looked up from his phone, “why do you care?”

joshua rolled his eyes and started walking to the fridge, “i get it, you two aren’t in a relationship but you and i know you care about yn. i don’t want you to regret something you do or didn’t do in the future.”

seungcheol just exhaled and raised his brows, “alright.”

“so what have you ordered!” jeonghan walked out of his room excitedly. as he noticed the tension in the air he instantly knew, they were talking about you.

jeonghan sighed and went by seungcheol who was aimlessly still looking for food. then, he looked at joshua who seemed to be in heavy spirits.

things that jeonghan knew: jeonghan knew or atleast suspected that seungcheol has feelings for you. jeonghan also knew that joshua was struggling to keep something from seungcheol, something you told him.

—

one night where you stayed over and you all drank, you got drunk but so did seungcheol. you ended up sleeping in joshua’s bed so that he could monitor you. joshua was looking for a trash bag in case you had to throw up while jeonghan was preparing you for sleep. as jeonghan wiped your body with a damp cloth, you happened to utter,

“i really love cheol. i can’t believe we’re just watered down to friends with benefits.”

they both heard it. joshua just stroked your hair with his hands until you were fully asleep.

he couldn’t lie, since then he’s been frustrated cause he knew how good your heart is. as close as he is with cheol, he can’t help but think, isn’t your relationship with cheol was holding you back?

but honestly he felt that you two would end up together one way or another, any interference might mess things up. in the end, the sober two came to the mental agreement it was your situation to deal with.

—

“you are taking too long! order fried chicken and let’s do karaoke today!” jeonghan tried to lighten up the mood. “sorry, grandpa’s struggling to see his screen with his poor eyesight,” joshua targeted to seungcheol. “you didn’t even try to help!” the eldest retorted. joshua laughed at his reaction and got up to set up the living room so that they could watch shows and eat.

at the end of the day they were each other’s rock. joshua was just scared for your feelings with seungcheol’s unpredictable actions.

+

four, current location — college.

you could barely pay attention in class knowing that you were going to go out with wonwoo in a few minutes. you have gone on a ton of dates before but for some reason this one was exciting. it was going to be different from the rest.

the class soon ended and wonwoo stood by your table, “hey.”

“hi!” you greeted him back. “so i was thinking we can go to this restaurant but it’s kinda far.” “it’s okay i have a car,” he smiled wiggling his keys in his hand.

not like it was rare for college students to have a car but you just thought he was extremely cool that your jaw almost dropped from his actions. wonwoo tilted his head to the door, “come, let’s go, send me the location by the way.” you nodded and skipped to his side.

you both got to the parking lot and he opened the door of the passenger seat for you. “thanks,” you said before he closed the door. he was sweet. you didn’t even talk about this being a date but he was certainly treating it like one.

wonwoo got into the car and you went on your phone to send the location of the restaurant. wonwoo was looking to his left where you were sitting and you thought maybe he was staring at you. you did spend around two hours matching clothes you left in seungkwan and soonyoung’s place. you were so close to just going home to look at other clothes but they didn’t let you since it was late at night—

“yn?” “yea?” “do you know them?” he pointed to the window at your side.

low and behold, the devil and the angel, jeonghan and joshua in the car beside you who were practically staring you down out of shock.

you got shocked yourself but thought nothing of it as you lowered your window, “hey!” you casually greeted. “yn! where’re you going?” joshua returned to you.

“gonna go to my favourite restaurant, oh by the way this is wonwoo,” you introduced.

“ah yea, i think i have… one class with you?” jeonghan squinted to the guy behind you. “i think so?” wonwoo pursed his lips.

“well you two have fun, yn are you gonna have dinner at ours later?” joshua asked.

“uhm,” you gave a glance to wonwoo who just gave a soft smile while raising his eyebrows. “i don’t think i will, maybe next time tho!” you rejected.

“ahh gotcha,” jeonghan replied while resting his body on the wheel.

you waved at them saying your goodbyes and closed your window. soon enough wonwoo drove out of the parking.

“you often have dinners at their place?” wonwoo asked curious. “yea, sometimes.” more like you practically live there.

“sounds fun.”

“it is! it’s a really nice way to let off some steam from all of the college stress,” you laughed

what would wonwoo think if he knew what you were actually there for. would wonwoo still go out with you?

-

“did you get a photo of them?” jeonghan peeked at joshua’s phone.

“yup, goodluck to seungcheol,” joshua lightly giggled while looking his screen.

+

five, current location — kwan and kwon’s.

you crashed into the apartment, you don't even know if soonyoung locked the door, “guys i just had the best date ever!”

there was one guy sitting at the center table they had for meals who looked quite reckless and overwhelmed with all of the papers around him, “yn….it is almost midnight,” seungkwan glared.

“bad time?” you asked, backing up.

“nope, i was actually waiting for you so that i had an excuse when i don’t pass up my work tomorrow,” he said getting up and dragging his blanket to the couch.

“what are you gonna say when your teacher asks why you didn't do it?”

“soonyoung ate it.”

you just pursed your lips and nodded simultaneously and suddenly soonyoung’s door swung opened, “is that yn i hear?”

you peaked your head to the hall showing you were present and in an instant, soonyoung ran to the couch, “spill.”

“oh my gosh he's so cool like he owns a car and he drives it!” “wow,” seungkwan says unimpressed.

you looked at him up and down before continuing, “we ate at my favorite restaurant and he said he'd order whatever i recommended and he liked my recommendation!” “i thought this was the best date ever but it's really just starting off like any other date.”

"go back and do your work if you're gonna be such a hater!" you stood up. "continue!! just ignore him!" soonyoung demanded, pulling you down.

"after that, we just walked around a park nearby and we just talked and got to know each other. we're not alike but we can agree on so much!" "oh that's actually very sweet." seungkwan commented.

it was sweet.

you got out of your head and finished explaining your day, "eventually he got tired and so we went back to his car and we talked more but it was getting late so i asked him to send me here but on our way here he kept taking the wrong turn, on purpose!" you recalled. it made you laugh just thinking about it.

"where do you find these guys," soonyoung squinted his eyes. it genuinely felt like a romance from a movie no matter how you see it. "manifesting?" you joked.

"well i'm happy you're happy," seungkwan patted your head. you laid your head on his shoulder, "i am."

it was just the first hangout yet you've never felt happier.

or is that just what you wanted to believe and feel?

-

the next day you woke up in their guest room and used your phone. there you found a notification.

「12:09am wonwoo: do you wanna go out tmr?

7:29am yn: hey! sorry just woke up! but yes, let’s go!

wonwoo: it's kinda late?? are you ready for class?

yn: oops

yn: it's okay they won't miss me.

wonwoo: are you in the same building i dropped you off at yesterday?

yn: yea, why?

wonwoo: i'm picking you up. go get ready.」

+

six, current location — seungcheol, jeonghan & joshua’s apartment.

"seungcheol. hey!" the pillow made a comically 'puff!' sound effect as jeonghan hit his oversleeping roommate up. "you're gonna be late, again, get going," his roommate sighed. for the past two days seungcheol had been waking up without you in his bed. that meant, no human alarm clock. he was like a child who needed his mother to wake him up...as weird as that analogy might sound but it was true. seungcheol sat up, eyes still closed.

"by the way, joshua and i are planning to have bbq tonight, is yn coming? i wanna know how much i have to buy."

"i'll send them a text."

"alsoo, why didn't yn come over yesterday?" jeonghan leaned on the doorframe and asked before leaving. "yesterday? they messaged me saying they had a project."

if seungcheol's eyes were open, he'd be able to see jeonghan's bewildered reaction. you lied about your whereabouts, but for what? jeonghan silently kept his composure and reminded, "alright, well let me know about yn at least before 4pm," before running to joshua's room to report the news.

seungcheol lazily grabbed his phone from his bedside table and searched for your contact to message. it was a foreign feeling, he almost never texted you. ever since you two started wherever you had, you were always with him, except for when you were with mingyu of course, not like that lasted long.

「cheol: you coming over today?

cheol: were having bbq.」

+

six.5, current location — wonwoo’s car.

“i think you should invest in those fancy biometric door locks, at least those lock automatically,” wonwoo suggested after you explained all of the times soonyoung forgot to lock his apartment door out of pure stress. he was amazingly entertained by your stories.

you wheezed, “oh my gosh- that’s so smart actually, i’m gonna tell that to them!” you got your phone out to text your group chat with soonyoung and seungkwan, until you saw notifications from him.

「cheol: you coming over today?

cheol: were having bbq.

cheol: think the guys miss you, they keep asking where you are.

cheol: think i miss you too, it's been hard waking up alone.

cheol: hope you finish your project soon.」

you clicked on your chatroom with seungkwan and soonyoung. afterwards, you cleared your notifications.

"so where are we going later?" you turned to wonwoo.

"i don't know actually i didn't know i was going to pick you up in the morning, i was going to brainstorm where i should take you when i got to class."

you blurted a laugh, "brainstorming a date when you should be paying attention in class"

"oh it's a date?" he glanced at you then back to the road. you covered your mouth, you kept calling your outings with wonwoo a date when you were with seungkwan and soonyoung, it just slipped out. "i’m just playing with you," he stated.

you scoffed and leaned into your seat, "so what are your ideas for later?" "i don't know, i haven't gotten to class yet," he shrugged his shoulders. you playfully rolled your eyes, "don't think about it too much, listen to your lecturer. i don't want to be the cause of you failing your classes."

"little late for that, i literally skipped my study group to hang out with you yesterday," he admitted.

you shot back up, "wonwoo!" you said in a whiney tone. he held back a smile as you scolded him for his lack of seriousness towards his school life. it lasted the whole ride until you reached campus.

little did you know, wonwoo had been eyeing you for a while. of course, he'd skip a class or two just to hangout with you. luckily, he found being with you worth the skip.

+

seven , current location — yn’s favourite cafe.

few days had passed and you still haven’t replied to cheol's messages. maybe you can live a life without him.

-

"order for yn!" joshua called out brightly, he got excited when he got a glimpse of your name on the cup that held the contents of your signature drink. he didn't think he'd see you today at his part-time job, you usually only came on weekends or in the late hours of the weekdays. he hadn't seen your face in a while and he honestly missed your presence in the apartment.

until he realised it was in fact not you ordering.

his expression changed in a flicker of a switch, "what the hell are you doing cheol?"

seungcheol raised a brow, "i'm ordering?"

"ordering yn's usual drink under their name? do you miss them that much that you have turned to impersonating them?" joshua pushed the cup towards his friend.

"i'm not weird like that, i’m gonna give it to them if i can find them today."

the barista created an 'o' with his mouth, he was proud of the effort. he carefully packed your drink into a bag and stuffed in the straw and some tissues. he even snuck in a free lollipop of your favourite flavour before lightly pushing the bag to cheol, "yn's class is a completely opposite to your building, sure you can make it?"

seungcheol scoffed, "of course."

joshua had his elbows on the counter, face resting on his hand. "have fun then, say hi to yn for me," he said in a teasing manner.

seungcheol nodded lazily and got on his phone after waving goodbye to his roommate.

+

seven.5 , current location — outside your class.

tapping away at your phone, you leaned on the wall outside the class you just finished. it was your last class so you were free for the day but wonwoo’s class was running longer than yours so you had to wait.

he had messaged you saying that he would be the one to go to you and you had no objections since you didn’t even know where his class was anyways. soon as you replied to wonwoo, you heard a familiar voice, a voice you recognised all too well.

“yn,” cheol quietly called out to get your attention.

you instantly stood up straight and placed your phone into your pocket, “cheol? what’s up!…what are you doing here?” your tone sounded mildly excited but astonished at the same time. you furrowed your eyebrows knowing his next class was located on the opposite side of the campus, yet he was here, you couldn't help but question it. “just dropping this off,” he subdued a smile while extending his arm to give you the drink. “hope it gives you energy during your project, how’s that going by the way?”

you held the drink in one hand and the other held tissues cheol provided. your heart sunk as he mentioned the project but you still continued the lie. “wow thanks, this is so sweet cheol! and the projects going well but we’re kinda slow,” you let out a breathy laugh.

“well don’t burn yourself out. if ever you need a break, my door is always open,” he gently reminded. “anyways, i gotta get to class. tell me if you need anything alright, we may not be under the same major but i could probably assist.”

“psh, of course, i have your number.”

he patted your head before leaving. as he walked past you, you got a whiff of his scent. it was a prominent smell, it was easy on your nose and you hate to admit but it was comforting. you felt your chest burn as he disappears from your sight. your heartbeat was rising and you knew it was because of him. time how does he manage to make you feel like this all the time.

you brought the drink closer to your chest and let out a sigh. you read the label which had the contents of your drink printed on. it was completely accurate to what you always order. only cheol could ever remember it. as you took a sip from the drink you started to wonder why you were avoiding him. should you come over tonight? you thought about it until you felt a tap on your shoulder.

you swiftly turned around and you were dragged down back to earth. wonwoo stood behind you with his head tilted with concern on his face, “penny for a thought?”

“wonwoo!” you greeted, “what do you mean?” you questioned after processing what he had said. “you seemed like you were in deep thought. you feeling okay?” he asked as he leaned on the wall beside you.

“never been better," you expressed with a sweet smile.

he nodded and sighed his worry away. his eyes trailed downwards and yours followed. you raised a brow confused but then he pointed downwards with a playful frown, “you got a drink without me?” you giggled and placed your arm around his shoulders, “i’ll go buy you one stop sulking.”

+

eight , current location — wonwoo's apartment.

wonwoo stepped into his apartment, his footsteps for some reason, felt lighter than the day before. he'd just came back from his outing with you and he couldn’t lie, those hangouts really made his days brighter. he’s smiling just thinking about it.

"you came home late today," his roommate, kim mingyu pointed out as if he were a mother waiting at home, worried sick about his son who goes out too much. in reality, wonwoo and mingyu weren't even close, they just happened to live together cause rent was expensive. but mingyu had always hoped to get closer with wonwoo and he took every chance he could to start a conversation with him.

"yea, was out with someone," wonwoo replied as he hung his bag on one of the dining table chairs.

mingyu got up from the couch and walked to the fridge fiddling with the things inside it, he was actually just closing the distance between him and wonwoo as much as he could. it seemed like today was a good day since usually, wonwoo would just head straight into his room but today he sat at the dining table. he never does that!

mingyu glanced at wonwoo and prolonged the conversation, “like a date?“

“i wouldn’t call it that, more like whatever you do after a talking stage i guess.”

mingyu shot a proud smile and crossed his arms, “no wonder you’ve been so smiley, what’s their name?”

“would you know them?” wonwoo asked but his eyes were on his phone since he was helping you find electronic door locks for your friends door.

“most probably, campus may be big but i know most people.”

“true,” wonwoo looked at mingyu as he nodded in agreement knowing how extroverted his roommate can be, “their names yn,” he answered before returning his eyes to his phone.

a sudden deafening silence washed over the room. mingyu took too long to respond.

wonwoo looked up, “what’s wrong?” he became concerned, wondering what caught the curious cat’s tongue.

there was a clear look of dislike on mingyu’s face as his smile disappeared and the look in his eyes changed.

“yn ln?” the roommate confirmed. wonwoo pursed his lips and looked up to recall, “yeah, i think that’s their last name.”

mingyu shortly laughed but wonwoo could tell it was a type of laugh not for something funny, but for something that was unbelievable, “no fucking way,” mingyu spat.

wonwoo furrowed his eyebrows, he assumed mingyu was just making fun of him, like mingyu thought he wasn’t good enough for you, “is there a problem?” he asked defensively.

“not at all, just, look for someone else, yn’s not worth your time.”

wonwoo’s heart dropped and suddenly his feet felt heavy again.

then again he knew his roommate was a semi brat. in the sense that he’s nice and all but he might hold a grudge if something doesn’t go his way. wonwoo sighed slightly uninterested in the topic, what could he possibly have to say about you?

wonwoo thought, at the very least you must’ve just rejected mingyu and it fucked with his ego big time. in any case wonwoo was always willing to listen but that doesn’t mean he’ll pick sides. “what makes you say that?”

“i get the attraction to yn, i knew them from last semester. i’m sure you’ve heard, they’re a great friend and that may be true i don’t know about that but from what i know, yn isn’t all that great in terms of romance, trust me.”

“what do you know?” wonwoo faced mingyu.

“long story short i’ve went out with yn last sem and they were fun but, yn has some ties i’m pretty sure they haven’t let go off even until today. my relationship with yn didn't last long because of said ties,”

“can you stop beating around the bush? just tell me exactly what happened between you and yn,” wonwoo firmly spoke.

mingyu gave a glare to wonwoo as he rested his jaw on his hand, recalling the story, “there’s this guy yn's super close with, you should know him, his names choi seungcheol, he's from a different department but he's popular. he and yn has been in a whole will they won’t they period, you sure you wanna go out with someone like that?"

"that was last sem, a lot could change in a few months.”

mingyu scorned, bobbing his head forward, "i literally saw yn walk to his class a few days ago, i don’t think anything has changed, regardless, why would you go out with someone with a past like that?"

"because people can change. plus, i’m not a child, what happens between yn and i is for me to deal with,” wonwoo spoke without even batting an eye to the taller man.

“suit yourself,” mingyu shook his head and walked away. he thought today was the day he could finally get closer with his roommate and ease the awkwardness but today, the distance has never been bigger.

wonwoo picked up some food and a bottle of water before descending into his room hoping that would be enough so that he wouldn't have to cross paths with mingyu for awhile. he felt a bit frustrated. he knew in his heart that you were good but then again, why would mingyu lie to him?

+

nine , current location — wonwoo’s car.

it was the next day, wonwoo had offered to pick you up again.

wonwoo tapped to the beat of the song on the radio onto the wheel of his car while waiting for you. until, from the corner of his eye, he saw you ecstatically running down the steps of your building.

he launched forward slightly to reach your car door, opening it from he inside, "hi yn."

"wonwoo!" you greeted energetically. he enjoyed hearing it but, at the same time, there was a tinge of bitterness as it rolled into his ears when he heard your voice today.

you sat down with a grin and you went on talking about your morning, the usual.

you usually did the talking as wonwoo listened.

and wonwoo was known for being quiet, but this level of quietness was unusual, even for him.

"wonwoo?" you called out. it was as if he was mentally elsewhere.

he was. he was stuck with his thoughts since last night. in his head, there were lingering questions about your past relationships. do you know a seungcheol? did you even know who mingyu was?

"sorry, didn't get enough sleep last night," he laughed it off.

shit, whatever mingyu told him that night stuck to him.

+

ten , current location — college cafeteria.

“gosh- yn i’ll change the date for you!” chan, your peer or more like your little brother held onto your forearms. he was sitting across you and he was practically off his seat convincing you to do something for him.

“you’ll what?” you snickered at his words.

“when are you free? i’ll move the party to that date.”

your hand that held your food fell to the table out of disbelief, “now why would you stoop that low chan?”

“i wanna meet new people and you have the best connections out of everyone in campus.”

“so you're using me?”

“you're fun as well," he innocently fluttered his eyes.

"then you'll have no problems with only me attending then?" you smiled like the joker.

he scoffed and rolled his eyes, "at least bring seungcheol and his friends while you're at it, if they go then surely, tons of people will come."

your eyes widened at his words but you could only bare to sigh, "you've become greedy chan."

"does that mean you'll bring him?"

you laughed, sighing softly until you remembered a tiny problem.

you had 5 unread messages from cheol.

but perhaps, someone other than cheol could come.

+

ten.5 , current location — college.

you and wonwoo sat on the grass. it had became a staple spot you both met at since it was conveniently close to your classes. you were sitting across each other sharing some convenience store food. you decided to bring the question up.

“hey do you know lee chan?”

“yea, why?” wonwoo was still picking on the grass but he made eye contact with you. “he has this party on friday night, are you interested in going?”

wonwoo stayed silent so the fear of rejection creeped up on you.

“you don’t have to go, i’m just offering an invite.”

“think im busy that day, sorry,” he said as he pursed his lips in guilt.

you gave a reassuring smile and brushed his hair with your fingers, “it’s alright.”

“im really sorry yn.”

you let a mischievous grin slip and played with him a bit. you placed your face into your hands, covering it hinting that you were upset.

“ahh yn don’t be like that.”

you spoke in a whiny tone to add to the act, “but this should’ve been our first party together—“

but suddenly his arms wrapped around your waist and he placed his head on yours.

he didn’t know what else to do but this.

“we’ll get to the next one, okay?” he does want to go it just happened that he can’t this time.

honestly you did want to feel disappointed that wonwoo couldn’t come. but you didn’t.

even with his words and actions that were meant to tell you ‘you have my full interest’. you didn’t feel anything from it.

you didn’t feel shit for him.

-

you’ve wounded up here again because there was no way you were going to attend a party alone.

cause how could you say no to chan.

this was for chan.

you’re only messaging him for chan.

「yn: do you want to go to a party?

cheol: depends, who’s is it?

yn: my little brother

cheol: …? did your parents conceive another child

yn: he’s not my biological brother

cheol: adopted?

yn: it’s lee chan

cheol: 💀

cheol: when is it?」

+

eleven , current location — lee chan’s party.

cheol’s arm snaked around your waist, “ready to go in?” he asked. “yea,” you confidently answered. this was like the thousandth party you’ve attended, why did he have to ask.

he opened the door and the once muffled cheers were heard perfectly. you flinched slightly at the noise to which he chuckled at.

you playfully rolled your eyes at him and walked in.

it reeked of alcohol already. it wasn’t as crowded as other parties you’ve attended but it was certainly something that could be considered a party.

cheol kept you close, having your back sandwiched to his chest as he held you by your shoulders. slowly, you passed through all the people and found your way to the drinks.

cheol instantly poured you your favourite drink and placed it in your hands as he swiftly poured himself one as well. you tapped your cup against his and downed it all in one go. no matter if you could actually handle it or if it was just for show, it still entertained seungcheol every time.

“yn! you’re here!” chan ran to you excitedly. “of course, why wouldn’t i?” you giggled.

“thank you for coming seungcheol!” he suddenly bowed to which seungcheol quickly pushed up the younger boy to stand up straight. “you’re nice, good thing you didn’t take after this mean senior,” cheol teased as he patted your head.

“hey you have never bowed to me ever, what’s so special about cheol?” you brought up to chan.

“he’s him, you’re you,” he coldly said. you turned to cheol who was covering his cheeky grin with his cup.

from afar it looked like you were scolding your husband and son.

“well enjoy the party, let me know if you guys want other drinks i’ll get it for you!” chan said as he skipped away with a smile.

“well obviously you’re not biologically related to someone like him,” cheol leaned on the kitchen counter as he turned to you with a smug look on his face.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you questioned as you took a sip from your cup.

“he’s sweet.”

“what does that make me?��

“mm..” he hummed.

slowly, he leaned in towards you, closing he distance between you two as he casually placed his hand on your hip. pulling you closer, he held your chin and tilted your head upwards.

there on your neck, he placed a soft kiss.

“ahh, you’re sweeter than him.”

you felt a burn in your heart.

you squeezed the drink in your hand, thinking of how to respond. but you couldn’t even think.

next thing you knew, your body reacted in its own.

you grabbed his hand that held your face and leaned in, kissing him on the lips.

it must’ve been weeks since you’ve done this.

he parted away from you, furrowing his brows. as far as he remembered, he was always the one who initiated kisses.

not like it was a rule but this was new. perhaps you missed him?

you couldn’t lie, you did.

he held you by your chin, taking a good look at your helpless expression but as he saw a pout form on your lips, how could he not give you what you wanted?

he pulled you closer, continuing the kiss.

gosh, he still had you wrapped around your finger.

it was sensual and passionate. you placed your arms around his neck pulling him closer as if he was going away but his hands softly caressed and slid against your back reassuring you he was here to stay.

you parted away, letting out a breathe. “i’ve missed you,” you blurted as you rested your head into the crook of his neck.

he smirked at your words as he patted your head, “you did?”

you couldn’t face him with how desperate you were being but nodded to answer his question.

“can’t be helped, you had that project right,” he took another sip from his cup.

you clenched your jaw and scrunched cheol’s jacket in your fist. that lie was lingered with guilt in your heart.

“yn? you barely finished your cup, don’t tell me you’re already tipsy,” he giggled as he glided his fingertips on your back.

suddenly, you stood up straight, placing your cup in his hands and walked off, “i’m going to the washroom.”

seungcheol didn’t think much of it, he just nodded and bopped his head to the music and waited for your return.

-

like any other party, there was a line but luckily, it wasn’t long. you decided to go on your phone to pass time while waiting but it wasn’t necessary since someone tapped on your shoulder.

you swung your head to look at who it was, it was someone you weren’t expecting.

it was a girl named mira, behind mira was a few other girls, probably her clique. you knew her due to being in the same class but you didn’t know much about her or the group in general, but it was evident they wanted something.

you leaned back into the wall confused on why she didn’t start talking despite you giving her attention. “can i help you?” you tilted your head.

she seemed hesitant as she fiddled with the ends of her clothes but eventually, she spoke when her friend nudged her, “uhm, you’re close with choi seungcheol right?”

‘duh, did you not see us earlier?’ is what you would’ve said but you had some decency.

“i am, why?” you crossed your arms.

“you two aren’t dating or anything, right,” a friend behind her smirked as she walked forward, asserting some dominance.

“what’s it to you?” you looked back at your phone after realising what they were here for. this was actually the first time people were running to you asking for favours for seungcheol. you’ve always experienced people asking for help with jeonghan, joshua and others but never seungcheol.

and you had underlying feelings for cheol. not like anyone knew about it but that wasn’t he point. it’s the fact that these girls clearly knew there must’ve been something between you and cheol, yet they’re still ambushing you hoping for a tip. that shit irked you.

“mira here wants his number. since you two aren’t dating, it’s okay to give it right?” the friend answered.

you looked at her up and down before going back on your phone. cheol would hate a girl that was too shy to ask personally.

you were thinking of just ignoring them but by then, the washroom was finally free so just before you walked in you replied with a firm, “no.”

you could hear them clicking their tongue as they walked away and heard the rage and it made you giggle a bit.

but god, your possessiveness over cheol only made it ever so clear that you weren’t over him.

-

when you walked out the toilet they were already gone and you made your way back to seungcheol.

“you ‘kay?” cheol brushed your hair as you fit yourself between his legs and rested your head on his chest. “yeah.”

he gave back your cup and used her free hand to hold yours. you looked down at your interwined hands and couldn’t hold back a smile.

then you wondered, if cheol was asked for his phone number directly, would he have given it?

you and cheol were pretty open to each other so you had no trouble bringing it up.

“cheol, this girl wants your number, should i give it?” you titled your head upwards to look at him.

he squinted his eyes at your words but he slowly responded, “i mean you can?”

ah. he’d accept it.

or so you thought.

just as your heart sunk, he continued, “i’m probably not going to reply to them but you can,” he chuckled.

you quickly turned and faced him, “huh? why not?”

“cause, i have you?” he raised a brow.

suddenly it’s as if the music had stopped.

did cheol actually think of you two as exclusive for once?

you couldn’t take your eyes off him but he didn’t think much of the way you were blatantly staring at him cause you did it often.

“wanna go dance?” he twirled your hair with his finger.

you snapped out of your daze, “uh- ha? since when do we dance at parties?” you laughed. you both usually only went to parties for the drinks, the vibes and nothing more but cheol felt like partying tonight.

“don’t know, just feel like it,” he gave a gummy smile.

“let’s go then,” you pulled him with a grin as he followed behind you.

you actually got it wrong earlier when you thought that he would hate a girl that was too shy because the correct version of that statement was that cheol would hate it if anyone but you tries to get with him.

you two got to the dance floor, residing somewhere at the side and instantly got into it but you fell into embarrassment as you moved to the beat of the music. cheol on the other hand seemed to have a plethora of dance skills up his sleeve. in this moment, his cold aura was gone. as he saw you covering your face, he pulled you out of your shell and held your hands. he guided you and placed your arms around his shoulders and you two swayed to the trap music as if it were classical jazz. the situation was slightly comedic, you both got a good laugh out of it.

it was these moments you shared with cheol that made you fall in love with him. and cheol would share this side of him with you and you only. if it were anyone else he probably wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to do so.

you both were practically gasping for air after laughing. you looked at him in awe as he did too. naturally, he leaned in for a kiss.

and his kisses felt like home. this was where you were meant to be.

the moment was perfect.

click, the sound of a camera shutter echoed but it was faint. it was way too faint for you to notice.

-

「mingyu: look at who i saw today at a party.

wonwoo: ?

mingyu: sent an image attachment」

+

twelve , current location — who’s apartment???

you went home with cheol that night. not like you had a choice since you were out of it.

“oh we’re here! kwaan, soonyoungie?” you slurred as the front door opened.

like meerkats, their heads turned simultaneously to the source of the sound.

“yn?” jeonghan jumped off the couch and ran to the front door excitedly. he prominently blurted out an ugly laugh that echoed through the buildings hallway as he got a good look at your face, “shit, they’re so fucking shit faced, what happened?”

“happened to get a reality check mid dancing. after that they proceeded to drink every cup they saw,” seungcheol laughed.

“are they good?” joshua slowly walked towards the three of you as he helped seungcheol bring you in. you were hanging on seungcheol by a thread. seungcheol had to continuously fling your arm around his shoulders so that he could somewhat carry you. even in the car he had to monitor and hold you up by placing his arms across your chest as an extra seatbelt to hold you upright cause if you were to hit your head on the dashboard, you’d be gone.

“i’m gonna freshen them up, can you guys get me a damp towel?” seungcheol looked to his roommates and surely, they followed the request as it was for you.

seungcheol rested you on his bed and wiped your face wth the damp towel jeonghan prepared. he even changed your shirt cause it reeked of alcohol.

soon enough he was laying beside you, joshua and jeonghan spectated at the side of the bed.

“so, yn’s back huh?” joshua crossed his arms.

“yeah,” seungcheol bluntly said as he ran his finger through your hair.

jeonghan had a smirk on his face, “you seem touchier with yn, what happened?”

he eyed the two of them, slightly annoyed but he knew they’d never shut up about it unless he gave a proper answer. “i guess you could say i don’t want to take them for granted anymore.”

“shit, really?“ joshua smiled widely.

“what’s when the reaction?” cheol stopped stroking your hair as he saw the roommates devilish expression.

“nothing it’s just, isn’t this you basically saying you admit you like yn?”

seungcheol’s eyes drifted back to you and he looked at you sincerely.

“yea, i like yn.”

joshua took a breathe and nodded. “glad you could admit it,” he clapped his hands quietly.

“well i’ll leave you two to it,” he said as he patted his friends back and exited the room with jeonghan following him.

there it was.

choi seungcheol likes you.

actually if he was a bit more honest, he would’ve admitted he loves okay but perhaps it was a bit too early for that.

but he was sure of it. after all, those few weeks you were gone must’ve been the most tough to get through without you there to brighten his day.

after that day you didn’t stay for dinner, seungcheol couldn’t lie or hide the fact he was upset by it but hey, what’s it to him? you’re not his, and why should his mood matter if you were there or not.

the second day you were gone, you didn’t even pass by his class like you usually would. he couldn’t help but wonder where were you the whole day. he’d been spending the day refreshing his feed like a fool waiting for an update of you on social media but he was mildly proud that you must’ve been so focused on your project that you didn’t go online. he loved an academically focused person.

but maybe it was for the better. seungcheol never wanted to fall for you. and seungcheol always thought that with the distance between you and him, these meek feelings would fade. but he couldn’t be more wrong.

because few days had passed and he literally found himself at your favourite cafe. was he finding excuses to see you? no, he was there cause he thought you needed a treat especially since you were working so hard on this project. but by this point he couldn’t deny his feelings. choi seungcheol liked you. seeing your face again after not-so-many-days. he felt like he was at home. the way his heart fluttered at the way you cutely turned your head when you heard his voice. your smile that shined. he wanted to call you his.

and ultimately, seungcheol could not deny his feelings any longer. especially not when he jumped out of his bed after receiving a text from you. he was so incredibly lucky that day. he was so lucky you texted him and he was so lucky jeonghan and joshua wasn’t home to hear his cheer of joy.

he was even luckier today since the person he loved most was finally back in his bed.

“kwannie, i need water,” you rolled over, facing seungcheol. he held back his laugh, you really thought you were at seungkwan’s place?

“here,” he placed the cup to your lips as you drank momentarily.

you stopped drinking and seungcheol placed the cup at the bedside table. his hands traced the outline of your body.

all that filled in his head was that if he was to make things official with you, there was no way he was going to fuck it up. he believed that you belong with him.

-

you woke up, head pounding. you swear you might die from the pain.

you mustered up the strength to sit up straight. you took a breathe in and that’s what woke you up. the scent of your surroundings that was one of a kind, you instantly became aware of the situation.

gosh you ended up sleeping in his bed again?

but you weren’t too bothered. there was a slight feeling of comfort that this is where you woke up.

you freshened yourself up in the washroom then walked outside the room.

you stood close to the door and you could hear someone in the kitchen but other than that there was no person in sight.

“looking for seungcheol?” joshua’s head peeped out from the kitchen giving you a startle.

“shit joshua— uhm yea, where is he?”

“not sure, he left a bit in a hurry but i’m sure he’ll be back.”

you hummed and lightly smiled, walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water. you leaned by the stove joshua was cooking at and he glanced at you. “want me to cook you something?”

“i think i’ll just have a bowl of cereal.”

he was amused, you always had cereal at their place for some reason even if it was night time. “go for it,” joshua grabbed the box of your favourite cereal from the cupboard above him. they always made a mental note to buy it when doing groceries despite you being the only one who ate it.

as you poured yourself a bowl, joshua started a conversation.

“so, not like i don’t like that you’re here, i'm actually glad but, i thought you were getting closer with wonwoo?”

shit.

you forgot all about him.

“oh well i was more or less hanging out with him in the friendly sense yknow.”

joshua tilted his head, listening intently, “i see.”

you also completely forgot joshua and jeonghan had full knowledge about you going out with someone that wasn’t cheol yet they’re treating you as if nothing happened. you couldn’t help but wonder why.

“hey, did you think it was weird i went out with wonwoo?” you couldn’t hold back your curiosity.

joshua’s eyes were focused on the dish he was preparing but he still answered wholeheartedly, “not at all, i mean you said it yourself you went out with wonwoo in the friendly sense, right?”

you went silent and joshua didn’t miss a beat to tease you, “or is that not the case?” he asked with wide eyes.

you were appalled and could only let out a nervous laugh. eventually joshua felt bad and told you his honest opinion.

“regardless if you were or not, you and seungcheol were never exclusive, so why would it be weird?” he asked as he faced you. you sullenly nodded your head as you followed him to the dining table with your meals so that you could sit.

“shua?”

“yea?”

“does cheol know i went out with wonwoo?”

he was just about to take a bite of his meal but he couldn’t help but laugh at your question. “are you afraid he does?”

you nodded a yes as you took a bite of your cereal.

“yn, do you like seungcheol?”

you were once again taken aback. no one has ever asked you if you liked cheol. it was always are you dating him or something of the sort but never an explicit, do you like him.

well it’s not like you were fighting wars to hide it but you just never wanted to answer it. but what was the point of lying now.

“yea.”

joshua let out a breath and smiled. “glad you could admit it.”

“you could tell?”

“i mean. i understand the concept of friends with benefits but you and seungcheol seem beyond it.”

you tapped your spoon on the milk, taking in joshua’s words.

“so you’re afraid seungcheol’s knows you went out with wonwoo because you think seungcheol would drop you afterwards?” he tried to puzzle the pieces together.

you expressed a yes and he sighed. “well i can’t blame you, you must’ve been tired of waiting for seungcheol, right?”

you finally raised your head up. that’s exactly how you felt.

he giggled at your expression, he could tell you’ve been bottling this in.

“well yn, what’s your plan for now?”

“i don’t know. but i think firstly, i need to talk to wonwoo.”

joshua rested his chin in between his fingers, he wasn’t expecting that but he could see where you were going with it.

“well i support you, if you need help i’m here.”

you acknowledged his words with a smile and coincidentally, the front door opened.

you heard a plastic bag rustling and sounds of shoes tapping on the floor, there cheol stood, surprised to see you awake.

“hey, eating breakfast without me?” he pouted.

“where were you?” you crossed your arms.

he scowled and swung the plastic bag in front of your face before taking a seat beside you, “i was buying you some stuff that might help with your hangover.”

ah, that’s right, he always bought you stuff like this.

your eyes lingered in his in awe. he was too busy reading the contents of the things he bought to notice.

“your head alright?”

“a bit.”

“okay well you can take this after you’ve eaten then,” he pointed towards one of the pills as he patted your head.

you and seungcheol were never exclusive. but you wished you were.

and maybe you could.

cause his touch felt like home. being here by his side felt like home.

suddenly the regret of your decisions seeped in. what the fuck have you done.

+

thirteen , current location — wonwoo’s room.

wonwoo was just having a peaceful friday night. he always spent his friday nights like these, it was a way to recharge before another week of school falls upon him.

but for some reason, he couldn’t help but wonder should he be at the party with you. wonwoo was no stranger to your general character.

he knew you were pretty popular, he never knew for what reasons but you were still always humble about it. he knew that many people found you good looking cause he was one of those people. he couldn’t tell what type of person you’d be but as he hung out with you, he realised there was so much more to you than looks.

cause you had humour, you had drive and you had passion. sure it’s not rare to find people like that but to wonwoo, someone who likes to keep to himself, found himself wanting to be with you. that meant something to him.

cause wonwoo has tried to date but no one has appealed to him as much as you have.

and so wonwoo also knew that you liked partying hence why, if he was to prolong his relationship with you, shouldn’t he be making efforts to be with you?

until that text popped up.

「mingyu: sent an attachment」

a clearly zoomed in photo of you in seungcheol’s arms, kissing.

parts of him was disgusted at his roommate for taking photos of you without permission.

plus, the reasoning of why mingyu sent it was annoying. it was like a big slap of ‘i told you’ onto wonwoo.

but honestly there wasn’t any pain felt as the image projected into his brain.

because wonwoo wasn’t that dumb.

he may have been in denial about that seungcheol guy existing but he was not dumb.

wonwoo has noticed the way you stare at your phone as if you’re waiting for someone to text you. he’s noticed the way you get so frazzled when you’re at campus hanging out with wonwoo, it was like you were expecting someone to show up.

he’s also noticed the widgets of you and another guy on your phone that you never got rid of. he just assumed it must’ve been a guy best friend but as it turns out, those photo widgets were selfies of you and seungcheol.

wonwoo knew you would never be his. he knew it since the day you asked to get coffee or lunch with him because though you were with him, through the lack of eye contact, lack of reciprocation of advances, wonwoo didn't need a hint to know your heart was or must've been with someone else. it only solidified when mingyu brought up your past. after that, there was no denying, he had no chance with you.

but even with how things ended up, he’s embarrassed to say that he would say yes if you asked to get coffee or lunch again.

because you were a good first date.

but the thing about dates is that they always come to an end, right.

he realised that as he woke up the next morning and all that filled his mind was that he needed to talk about it with you.

because if he didn't end things now, he might just continue being with you despite knowing there was someone else in the picture.

but he was better than that, so he texted you.

「wonwoo: hey, i need to talk to you, in person.

yn: oh, is everything alright?

wonwoo: yea

yn: okay, where are we meeting?」

well. he enjoyed it while it lasted.

fourteen , current location — some cafe.

you both agreed on meeting at a cafe nearby campus so that it wouldn’t be too confusing.

you got there first, sitting comfortably while texting wonwoo where you were for some direction.

though you sat comfortably, there was an unsettling feeling lingering. cause you couldn’t guess what wonwoo possibly wanted to talk about.

but he showed up and in your eyes, he seemed normal.

he ordered a drink and soon sat in front of you.

“hi wonwoo," you plastered on a smile.

"hi yn," he returned the smile.

"so what did you want to talk about?"

he swirled his drink with a spoon, he seemed hesitant to start but he just wanted to get it over with, any longer and he might just chicken out and act like nothing happened.

"well i’ll be straightforward with you so be honest with me, are you seeing someone right now?" he asked not threateningly but more in a, 'let me understand you' way.

you were taken aback. out of all of the things wonwoo could've spoken about, wonwoo questioning your relationship status was something you didn't expect.

what possibly made him ask this.

"why are you asking?"

“well i have this roommate, he seems to know a bit too much about you. when he found out you and i were hanging out, he didn’t really like it. he wounded up sending me a photo of you and another guy at the party last night.”

fuck, the situation was really bad. it was out of your control.

especially with the way yesterday’s events rolled into your head, you and seungcheol were so close. you could only imagine what the photo portrayed.

your head instantly shot down and you could only apologise.

you did notice the ways wonwoo hinted he liked you. you couldn't imagine how wonwoo was feeling in this moment.

“i’m sorry wonwoo.”

“i don’t really know why you’re saying sorry,” he softly chuckled as he leaned back into his chair. “it’s not like you and i are dating.”

he was right, yet, you felt so much guilt.

“i’m only asking because i didn’t know you were seeing someone,” he continued.

“well i’m not actually exclusive with him,” you muttered.

his eyes showed his shock, that kinda sucked to hear, “so are you like this with everyone?”

“no! no, it’s just, i wasn’t seeing him during the time you and i were hanging out, i promise—“

wonwoo cut you off, he didn’t want you to be stressed over this, especially not when you and him weren’t exclusive either, “yn, it’s okay, whether you were seeing him or not, i don’t have a say in that. besides, your outings with me were only platonic right?”

as much as neither of you found the outings platonic, it was technically the bitter truth.

“i know but, i liked hanging out with you,” you said with some sort of desperation in your voice.

“me too.”

“i liked you wonwoo.”

“but you love him, right?”

your eyes were glued to the table, you swear you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“it’s okay, we tried,” wonwoo patted your head.

you were always the one who took the lead in conversations so he’s never seen you so silent. and your silence was worrying to him.

with sincere eyes, wonwoo got to your eye level and smiled, “i don’t resent you yn.”

he was so gentle with you, he made you believe you did nothing wrong.

“really?” you lifted up your head.

he had a smile plastered on the whole time which was comforting at the very least but at the same time, it stung you, cause how could he be so calm about this indirect rejection. on top of it all, you acted without thinking about how this affects wonwoo.

but he answered with such kindness, it killed you.

“yea? i still think you’re really cool, sure it’s a shame we didn’t work out but i can’t be mad at you for finding someone else. well if anything, i’m happy for you, i think you’re lucky.”

“lucky?”

“like, to find someone is lucky, not everyone gets to experience love like that at this age. i mean, i don’t know if your relationship with him is like that. but i just hope that when you find someone that gives you their all in the future, you don’t take it for granted because you deserve the best.”

"i hear you wonwoo, thank you."

wonwoo always knew what to say. it’s truly unfortunate you weren’t in love with him but, the least you could do right now was oblige to his hopes.

fifteen , current location — on the sidewalk.

‘you’re lucky.’

if anything you were lucky to have met wonwoo because without him, you wouldn’t have realised that all that you were looking for was right in front of you.

you’ve been holding back for so long and you’ve lost and hurt people because of it, you were done with that.

most of all, you were tired of acting like you weren’t in love with cheol.

the sun was disappearing and the streetlights were starting to light up but you couldn’t go to sleep until you saw him. your favourite cafe was somewhere cheol could reach quickly. you hurriedly walked on the sidewalk as you made you way to the cafe while simultaneously finding cheol’s contact to call him. as it was you calling, he picked up within one beep.

“yes yn? whats up—“ “meet me at my favourite cafe right now,” you cut him off.

you’d probably never find out but his heart dropped at an alarming speed as he heard you words. nevertheless, he responded in a heartbeat, “i’m coming.”

-

surely, he arrived in just a few minutes.

he easily spotted you awkwardly standing outside the cafe. he jogged towards you, hands in his pockets. his dimples deepened as he greeted you with a smile, “were you bored of something?” he laughed. it was common for you to drag seungcheol out at night so it wasn’t like he was weirded out by this spontaneous call.

“i just dumped a guy,” you blurted. i mean, more like he dumped you but that wasn’t important.

seungcheol’s eyes widened and instantly his smile faded, “what?“

“i dumped a guy because i don’t think i could be with someone that wasn’t you,” your head was tilted down as you dug cresents into your arm. you don’t think you could continue to see cheol without telling him this.

he took a step towards you as he took your hands into his, "what?"

"why have you never asked me out?" you looked at him woefully as you squeezed his hands.

seungcheol didn't know how to react. it was as if his dreams were coming true with your indirect confession but you were clearly hurt and he hated that he made you feel this way.

he knew he strayed from his feelings from you but that was only because he always thought that you were made for someone else.

but perhaps that someone was him.

"i kept going out with people but every fucking time, i only end up thinking about you," you spoke as if you were frustrated, and you were.

it was almost as if the way you felt was irreparable. but he caressed your face with his hand and he looked into your eyes sincerely.

“i’m sorry if i ever made you feel like you were unwanted, that was truly never my intentions yn, believe me,” his face was full of visible concern, fear even. but he continued, filling the silence of the tranquil night, “yn, i’m sorry for making you wait. if it’s not too late i’m willing to make something out of us as long you are aswell.

you blinked your eyes unsure if this was reality but the grip his hand hand on yours was like a pinch telling you this was all real.

“you’re willing to try?”

“always, you’re all i’ve never wanted.”

“like, exclusively?”

“as we always should’ve been,” he breathed out a smile.

there was a sting in your eyes, it felt like tears were forming in your eyes but it wasn’t enough to form a tear drop. but that’s how happy you were.

it’s what you’ve wanted to hear this whole time.

“so yn, will you be my significant other?”

your face that was so close to his was still in his hand, his other hand held your hand. there was no space between you yet you were comfortable. how could this not be the person you’re meant to be with.

you finally let out a smile and answered, “yes cheol, i’m yours.”

naturally with your face so close to his, he pulled you in for a kiss. but unlike the other kisses, this one was soft and sweet. it was new and it felt like a new beginning.

‘fuck, it was that easy,’ is what you both thought as you two parted.

you two pursed your lips as you looked at the ground, embarrassed at the situation as if you were in elementary school doing something scandalous but cheol knew how to move on. “let’s go in and get a drink?” he tilted his head towards the cafe.

“at this time? what are you gonna get from a cafe?” you furrowed your brows.

“i don’t know? a victory doughnut?” he sarcastically spat.

you could only let out a laugh. he stuck his hand out for you to hold and you held it with no hesitance as he guided you two into the cafe.

“ok now tell me more about that guy you dumped.”

“is that really something you want to talk about right now? also he dumped me.”

“really? i should thank him or something, what’s his name?”

you won the guy wanted most at the cost of wonwoo, you’re the one who should thank him.

“jeon wonwoo,” you answered.

“pro gamer jeon wonwoo?! how did you not leave me for him?” cheol’s eyes widened.

“hey, what the fuck?”

by his side, talking about how to move forward, it may have been complicated but it was worth going through as long as it meant you two would be together.

in your favour, that night, you went back to his place and into his bed.

and in cheol’s favour, you’re in his arms.

[phoenixyfriend]

One of the insane things I've learned due to bingeing political and news media is why the US has such a high military budget.

Like, don't get me wrong, I still disagree with it, I hate the military industrial complex, I do not THINK we should be doing this...

But finding out that a number of countries have more or less officially contracted their emergency military responses to the US does make more sense. We aren't just the US's army, we're functionally the reserves for all of NATO. Europe gives us good trade deals in exchange for being able to borrow our gun guys.

Again, I don't AGREE with this. I'm just much less confused about the WHY now.

Unless I'm wrong about how the budget works, in which case, please explain using pie charts. I like pie charts.

EDIT: Also it's more than just Europe, some noteworthy others being Taiwan, Israel, South Korea, and Japan.

[thus-spoke-lo]

cw: gn!reader; modern AU; pining

Thinking of a messy, “are they or aren’t they?” type of friendship with Sanji.

Sanji doesn’t need to ask what your coffee order is anymore—he shows up at your desk with your latte as soon as you sit down in the morning. You brought lunch to work but you ask if he wants to go out and get something anyway; you trade off who drives, taking the opportunity to play curated playlists for each other that serve as the soundtrack to your conversations. You buy this time, curry from the hole-in-the wall shop where he knows the owner, telling him it’s the least you can do for the daily coffees. You offer each other tastes of what you ordered, exchanging bites over the cramped folding table in front of the restaurant.

You call him and tell him that you’re home safe when you go out, per his request—he’s the first person you tell when you’re out drinking, just in case something happens. He’s the first to offer to come pick you up when you seem like you shouldn’t be driving home—walks you to your door with an arm around your waist, makes sure you have a bottle of water to sip on while he scrounges around in your fridge for something that will soak up the alcohol. Sanji listens to you prattle on about the band you saw and complain about how expensive liquor is while he makes you the best grilled cheese you’ve ever had, and he strokes your hair when you fall asleep on his lap, lets himself out after a while and locks up with the key you gave him for emergencies.

You find yourself texting him just to talk—giving thorough reviews of whatever movie you’re watching alone, feeding him snippets of gossip when you’re out at brunch. In turn, he texts you moment-to-moment reactions during the new episode of a show you both watch, eventually asking if you want to come over and watch it with him. You find yourself dropping everything to say yes every time. It’s more fun to watch with someone else, you tell yourself, that’s all it is—even though you declined your friend’s invitation to come over and watch the very same show just a little while ago.

And sometimes—more often than you would ever admit—those silly texts about movies and what you had for dinner turn to phone calls about your parents, your anxieties, your dreams. Sometimes they last until bedtime, sometimes your earbuds die before ever you hang up, sometimes one of you falls asleep and the other listens to quiet breaths on the other end of the line. It feels like home.

Strangers mistake you for a couple with alarming regularity—you each throw up your hands and laugh nervously, quickly denying anything but friendship to the well-meaning waiter at the bistro where you always meet for drinks, or the smiling purveyor of a booth at the farmer’s market where Sanji helps you shop for the week. Your friends and co-workers snicker and ask when you’re going to give up and just go out already, and you give the same song and dance like always—you’re just good friends, you don’t like each other that way, the thought had never even crossed your minds.

But it had, in ways you refused to acknowledge. It was in the way Sanji’s stomach churned when you’d tell him about a date you’d gone on the night before. It was in the crushing feeling in your chest when he’d talk about the pretty woman at the bar that gave him her number. It was in the way relationships never seemed to work out for either of you, always secretly holding strangers to standards they’d never meet, to expectations they’d never fulfill. But you’d never admit it, never try to say it, even to yourselves, with your whole heart.

No, you’d never let yourselves believe that there could be love there in the lingering glances during pointless work meetings, in the warmth of memorized birthdays and personal anniversaries (it would be three years tomorrow that he got that new-used car, and you already had a cake ready). There could be love there, in the corners where fear couldn’t settle—fear that he would laugh at you, fear that you would reject him, fear that all you’d ever have is this and saying one wrong thing could bring it all crashing down. There could be love there, in the silence of a car ride home, sitting in traffic and watching the first glowing embers of the sun beginning to set, wondering if your hand on his thigh or his fingers brushing your forearm would be crossing a line.

There could be love there, if you’d let it in.

[luveline]

Hi! Could you please write an Eddie and Roan were Eddie and Reader need to do something, and they can't have Roan with them, and for some reason, Steve and Robin end up taking care of her?

thank u for ur request sorry this is a bit rubbish!! eddie and roan —you and eddie have to manage a potential disaster, so steve and robin babysit

You're first to come through the door, arms wide open and smiling bashfully. "Hey! Thanks for doing this." 

Robin hugs you back, startled.

"We wanted to. We like you even if your boyfriend looks funny," Steve says. 

Eddie walks up the path to Steve's house, Roan's hand in one hand, her backpack in the other. "Because we don't know if we'll be back tonight I put your pyjamas in there, okay?" he says to her. 

"I'm really sorry," you say, hugging Steve in greeting too. He's less awkward than Robin, rubbing your shoulder. 

"Don't worry about it. Rumour has it I kinda like Eddie's tiny spawn," Steve jokes. 

You laugh and pull away from him. "Are you gonna yell at me if I offer you pizza money? Eddie told me not to but I don't think that's very polite–"

"We'll definitely yell," Steve says. He never would, but he doesn't want your money.

You smile at them both with way too much love. Which isn't to say it isn't reciprocated, they really do like you, but you surprised everyone when you started dating Eddie. You're the most earnest person Steve's ever met, heart on your sleeve. He supposes you'd have to have that kind of heart, to love someone's kid like they're your own as young as you are. 

"Okay, well, you obviously can't call us, but I wrote the shop number down in case you didn't have it. Wayne's working until the morning but if there's an emergency he will definitely answer. But please don't let there be an emergency." You rub your lips together. "I'd feel so bad if something happened while we're gone 'cos it's my fault we have to go and–"

"Everything will be fine!" Steve cuts you off. Eddie and Roan walk into the house behind you, and Steve gives her a loving smile. "She's, like, our favourite niece." 

"She's your only niece," Eddie says. 

"We only need the one, she's perfect," Robin says, holding out her arms and leaning down for a hug. Roan runs into her chest, beaming. "Hey! You had a haircut, it looks so nice!" 

"Thank you! I wanted it to be long like dad's but it's too hot." 

"Did she offer you money?" Eddie asks over you as you bend down to say goodbye. 

"Yeah, what's that about? You telling her we're hurting for it?" Steve says, glaring. 

It's an act. He can't last, and he laughs when Eddie laughs, shoving hands into his denim jacket. 

"Everything's okay, right?" Steve adds. 

"I mean, probably? We'll find out. Thank you for taking her. Don't worry, I told her to make as much mess as possible." 

"Fantastic." 

Eddie leans down to give Roan a kiss. "Please be good." 

"I'm always good." 

"You're a liar," Eddie says, stroking her hair behind her ears. "I love you." 

"I love you! Are you still buying me a Barbie on Saturday?" 

"Only if you're good," he says, kissing her forehead. "Okay, bye, baby." He winks at Robin. "I'm coming back for you, Buckley." 

"Ew!" Robin cheers happily. 

You all exchange another heap of goodbyes. Steve, Robin and Roan stand in the doorway and wave you off as you get back into your car and drive away, and when your car turns the corner down the end of the street and disappears, Steve offers his arms for his own hug. Roan takes them. He picks her up. 

"Hey, favourite Munson. It's been a really long time since you came over. Like, months and months. You don't love us anymore?" he asks. 

"Shut up, I do love you," Roan says, laughing. She has a great laugh, as high-pitched as her voice but never grating. "I've been busy." 

That sets Robin off. "You're talking like such a grown up! You need to stop getting bigger." 

"I tried." 

"I bet you did," Steve says. 

"Is Mr. Stinky here?" Roan asks as Steve sets her down again. 

She takes off her shoes, putting them neatly under the stairs, and Steve can't decide if that shows how Eddie's doing a great job or if Roan really is getting bigger. Robin helps her out of her coat, saying, "He's here somewhere. He doesn't like when I move him around, so I think he's hiding under one of the beds. We should wait until he's ready to come out, okay?" 

"Sure! Is his teeth better?" 

Not completely grown up. 

"They are, we went to the cat dentist." 

"The ventist," Steve says.

Roan giggles. "The ventist." 

Taking care of Roan is easier now she's getting older. She can communicate everything she wants without fuss, and she's never shy about wanting. She wants drinks and chips and TV, but she says please after every ask, and Robin and Steve have no reason to deny her. 

The three of them sit on the couch sipping juice boxes and blinking dozily at the screen. "Wait, Princess Polly has a sister?" Robin asks. 

"She's a mermaid," Roan says. 

"Oh. Where's her tail?" 

"It comes out when she goes in the water." 

Roan passes her hand to Steve and Steve holds it without question.

"Steve?" 

"What, bub?" he asks, face on the back of the couch. Roan smiles shyly. 

"Can we do karaoke?" 

Steve is a grown man, mid-twenties, full time job and (just about) paying a mortgage every month, but that doesn't stop him from putting on the tiara, finding new batteries for the karaoke microphone, and singing Princess Polly songs with his best girls. Robin sits on the arm of the couch, Roan stands on the coffee table cheering him on, and Steve rocks the damn house. Every birthday or Christmas gift Steve has bought Roan for the last three years has been Princess Polly themed —he is an expert, and he knows every lyric.

It definitely feels embarrassing, but the girls don't judge. Robin's his best friend in the entire world, and over the years she's seen the absolute worst and the  rare but sweet best of him. And Roan thinks he's a rockstar, she loves it, and that's why he does it, but he knows deep down that if anyone else saw him singing like this he'd have to move cities. 

Roan jumps at him from the coffee table and he catches her deftly, letting her take the microphone to sing her favourite song before it starts, the song where the Prince tells the Princess how strong she is. 

Robin sings the wrong words with them, and after the grand crescendo she turns the TV volume down to call for pizza. 

"What do you want?" she asks Roan, receiver clamped between her ear and her shoulder as she turns the dial. "What toppings? Do you still like sausage?" 

"I want sausage and extra cheese, please," she says, looking back at Steve. "Is that okay?" 

Steve holds up his hands. "You can have whatever you want." 

"Sausage and cheese and pepperoni," she says cautiously. 

"Sausage and cheese and pepperoni," Robin parrots. She doesn't have to ask Steve what he wants. They've been sharing double pepperoni pizzas for nearly seven years. "Do you like chicken wings or no?" 

"Yes!" 

They spend time before the food arrives coaxing Mr. Stinky out from under Steve's bed, baiting him with crunchy treats. Robin squeezes cat yoghurt onto Roan's fingers and Mr. Stinky licks then clean, prompting a roaring, ecstatic laughter from her. She gets her pets in while he's happy. 

There's a knock at the door not long after. 

Steve rushes downstairs to grab his wallet, and is actually agitated when he opens the door to find Eddie at the threshold, you at the bottom of the lane, paying the unsuspecting pizza guy. 

"I tried to stop her," Eddie says. 

"Everything worked out?" Steve asks worriedly. 

"Oh, for sure. What's life without a dumb work emergency? We got there and they basically told her it was a false alarm. I thought she was gonna cry from relief." 

Steve's happy to hear it but disappointed that Roan won't stay. She really does feel like his niece, he loves having her around, and whenever she stays over he and Robin are forced to spend time together doing things they might not think about doing otherwise. He'd been excited to dig out the Monopoly board after pizza. 

Eddie grins as you approach, pizza boxes in hand. "Nice going, sweetheart." 

"These are so hot!" You give Steve a nervous smile. "Could we stay for dinner?" 

"Are you kidding?" Steve asks.

Eddie claps him on the shoulder. You come inside, and Roan is glad you're back but unhappy to have her day cut so short, like Steve. "I wanted to stay over," she whines, "Aunt Robin said Mr. Stinky might sleep with me." 

"She could still stay," Robin says. 

"She definitely could," Steve agrees. 

"Are you sure?" Eddie asks. 

"You could all stay, if you want. I have the air mattress," Steve says. 

You swing Roan around in your arms happily. "Oh my gosh, I haven't had a sleepover in years." 

"It's a slumber party!" Roan says. 

"That'll be a really great one to tell the guys on Monday," Eddie says, opening one of the pizza boxes to cut Roan's slices in half. He waves the pizza cutter around as he talks. "What did you do on Monday, kid? Not much, just a slumber party with my friends." 

"Miss out the slumber in slumber party," Robin suggests, tipping bottled lemonade into glasses, a bag of ice melting slowly on the counter next to her. 

Steve grins and gets to work plating up for him and Robin. "That would be lying." 

"Can we paint our nails?" Roan asks. 

"I don't have any nail polish," Steve says regretfully. 

"I might have a black one in my bag," Robin says. 

"Oh, good. We can do dad's nails, too," you say to Roan. 

Eddie wiggles his fingers enticingly. "Embracing my femininity. What do you say, Harrington? Gonna let me paint yours?" 

Steve ends up letting Roan paint his nails, and they look great. He also lets her do his blush and eyeshadow too, but that's only because she asks really nicely. 

[sku-nk]

OMG skunkypoo what a coincidence I came across your blog! Not like you told me to or anything! Since I'm just a random stranger wanting a good story, could you write something angsty for Sam Carpenter? (You know I'm your only read so love me.)

Vacant Space

Synopsis: It's been much too long since Sam's seen you. Perhaps all she needs to fill that little vacant space you left is to hear your voice again.

Warnings: Language, drinking, brief mentions of sex, angst :(

A/n: wow what a random and surprising ask. i am so surprised at this. i suppose i can answer this totally unprompted ask.

english is actually not my first language so this was fixed thrice

Sam is supposed to be used to this.

She's supposed to be ready.

After being attacked by people she knew and trusted twice, she should know what the signs of a betrayal are. She should be able to see them from a mile away before it's too late.

But you... you've always been unpredictable. That's what Sam likes about you— What she thought she liked about you. But now? Now that you're miles away with nothing but a cell phone to connect the two of you (as if she can muster up the courage to call), she's not so sure.

Okay, it's not really a betrayal. But it might as well be. You left her with barely a warning. It feels like you're trying to kill her.

She can barely stand to be home anymore because everything in it reminds her of how you're not. When she wakes up, she's reminded by the empty spot beside her that you're gone. The single toothbrush and the absence of your annoying hair stuff in the bathroom only screams that she's alone now.

It's her fault.

Sam knows that she's supposed to move on now. That's the obvious thing to do. It's like she'd always tell you: It was nothing serious.

But that's a lie. It was always a lie. When she met you at that enpty bus stop she knew it wouldn't end at 'just a ride home'. When she asked for your number she knew it wouldn't be 'just in case of another emergency'. But she let herself say it anyway. And when you called her up one night asking to stay for a few nights she knew it was a bad idea.

She couldn't stop herself. She let you stay over and then, she just let you stay. Whatever sparks she felt that night at the bus stop, she wished she'd ignored them. She should have put them out like she told herself to in her mind.

The small smiles exchanged whenever the two of you passed one another in the small apartment soon turned into longing looks. Longing looks turned into risky joking comments. That turned into much, much more. Days spent tangled up in a mess of limbs watching bad movies or going out to do things you hadn't since you were teens. Nights spent tangled up in each other.

But it was all just fun. That's what she told herself. That's what she told you. You weren't dating. She wasn't yours, and you weren't hers.

What a fucking joke.

Now she's spending as much time as she can away from home. Mostly at this dingy bar spending the little money she has on drinks she definitely doesn't need. It's her new home. Or at least, that's what she told the bartender more than once when she was drunk.

It's the place where all her best ideas sprout, like her decision to bring home this pretty girl one night.

She was nice enough, a little clingy from the start if anything. But hey, she was hot. Looked a little familiar, too. The night went pretty okay-ish 'till she wanted to sleep over. Then Sam looked like the asshole for giving her her clothes and sending her on her way. And an even bigger one for not calling.

She never did see that girl at the bar again.

Oh well, that's okay. There are lots of other girls at the bar. Or, there were.

"This is so fucking sad, do you realize that?" the bartender, Jeremy asks Sam one day.

His gross, alcohol-covered towel is slung around his neck. Sam can smell it with the way he's leaning all close to her, but it's so loud that it's the only way to hear a person. Usually Sam likes that, because it really does something to a girl when she leans in to speak to her. Now it's just unfortunate.

"You're driving away all my customers. This isn't good for either of us."

Sam scoffs and sips her drink. "I'm good at that, huh?" she jokes. Jeremy doesn't laugh. He rolls his eyes instead, though you can't really tell because of his thick mop of black hair in his face.

"I'm serious, Sam," he tells her. "You're sitting around here all day moping and drowning in liquor you can't even afford. I don't even put it on your tab anymore, I know you're broke. And what do you do all night?"

Sam smirks. "I fuck."

"First of all, ew. Second of all, you're... you're just grazing around this bar, picking up girls like they're dinner and finishing them after a night. You're searching but you're not."

Sam looks at Jeremy. She's got this look in her eyes that would be intimidating if she weren't drunk out of her mind. "Don't tell me what I'm doing-"

"But you're doing it," Jeremy says, stopping her immediately. Usually he's just there to hand her free drinks and give her sympathetic pats on the shoulder, but now, he's giving her the talk she clearly needs.

"All these girls you're taking home, you never call them. Do you? Never a second night. What are you looking for?"

No answer. It's you. She's looking for you in a crowd of girls that will just never be you. Trying to fill something you left behind with a bunch of flimsy tape. Temporary fixes. Girls that don't mean a thing to her from the moment she sees them here to the moment she kicks them out at night.

They'll never be you. They'll never sleep in your bed. They'll never wake up in your spot. Because it's not the same.

"I say just call her," Jeremy tells Sam, breaking her from her thoughts she never even realized she was caught up in. She gives him a funny look and he gives it right back.

"It's about a girl right? I can tell. You're like some divorced old guy, it's depressing," he says. He slides her another drink, something dark. When did he pour that?

"Liquid luck," he says, with what's probably a wink. Sam chuckles before downing it. "Liquid memory block."

Jeremy just sighs. "Listen, I know you're in this nasty little pit of despair or whatever. But seriously, you just gotta get over yourself. What do you lose by calling? Certainly not your self-respect."

That's mean. "Thanks," Sam says, shooting him a look. He just shrugs in a way that says, 'it's true'. And maybe it is. But the thought of calling you up after no contact for months, that's mortifying. She tells him that.

"So face your fears. She might be happy to hear from you," he offers. But it's not enough. Why would Sam call you?

Really, what would she look like calling you after so long, after acting so nonchalant about you leaving, after even letting you leave because she was so insistent that what you two had was just casual and you were only roommates? She'd look fucking desperate.

But really.

How desperate does she already look?

Maybe it's the alcohol. Maybe it was Jeremy and his stupid wannabe hypeman ass. But Sam pulls out her phone.

And stares at it. For what seems like an eternity, she just sits there looking at the dark screen. What if you don't pick up? Seriously, what are the odds that you've changed your number and never let her know? She wouldn't be surprised. After not hearing from her in months, it wouldn't be so crazy.

She sits there on that stupid stool for what feels like hours. She even puts her phone away at one point. And pulls it back out. Because she is desperate. Just to hear your voice. Even if it's you telling her not to call you again, that you hate her for not returning your texts the first couple weeks and still having your number all this time.

Finally, finally, she opens her phone. And clicks on her contacts. Her thumb hovers over yours, your name with that wet emoji after it. God, how ridiculous is that? She'd wanted to change it to a heart so many times, but that would be like saying the L word. It was so much easier to pretend you were just a fuck buddy.

Maybe she can change that now, she tells herself. With each second, she gets a bit more confident. Or the alcohol seeps deeper into her system. Whichever it is, it convinces her to click on your name.

She holds her breath as it rings. She thinks it might go to voicemail. But to her surprise, it doesn't.

"Hello?" It's not the voice she was expecting. It's deep and gruff. A man's voice. Something in her sinks and she can't even bring herself to answer.

"Who's this?" the man asks. "Who's Sammy and how the hell do you know y/n?" No answer.

"Hey, tough guy, where you at?"

Sam can't form a single word for a long moment, but the guy on the other end screams enough for the both of them. Finally, she says something.

"I'm sorry. Accident. Didn't realize I called. It's been so long..."

The man shuts up at the sound of a woman's voice. After a moment, he sighs. "I'm real sorry, ma'am. You know boyfriends... I'll let her know it was a.. what is it? Old friend?"

But Sam's already hung up.

[avionvadion]

"Say goodbye~ as we dance with the devil tonight! Don't you dare look at him in the eye~ as we dance with the devil tonight~!"

Charlie has Lucifer and El exchange numbers in case of an emergency (El being a human in hell) but Lucifer just ends up calling to ask about Charlie a lot and eventually El is just like, "Why don't you just talk to her? Like over tea or something? She loves that new Sunflower brand that's been going around-" and it just goes crazy from there, haha. He ends up kidnapping her for her help in writing Charlie a invitation letter. It's so silly.

...Okay, so I did a mini comic thingy. Here ya go. This art style is hard. Oof.

Has Luci thought about inviting Charlie over before? Absolutely. Has he ever gone through with it? Nope!

Fear of rejection, not knowing how to ask it, and not knowing how to reach out to ask it, all definitely stopped him. But someone else encouraging the idea/suggesting it makes him feel like maybe he wasn’t so foolish after all and that he might just have a shot at closing the gap between him and his daughter this time- especially if that said person is willing to help.

[xbabyd0lli3x]

Beyond the Line. Spencer. r

A/n-reader is pastel goth,I think it said she was chubby

Sp outfit

readers outfit

In the bustling city of Quantico, where the echoes of footsteps and the hum of conversations filled the air, Spencer Reid found solace in the quietude of his apartment. As an FBI profiler, his days were spent delving into the minds of criminals, deciphering their motives and unraveling the intricacies of their actions. Yet, amidst the chaos of his profession, there was one constant source of comfort - his late-night conversations with an enigmatic voice on the other end of the line.

The relationship between Spencer and [Y/N] had blossomed from chance encounters during investigations, where their paths crossed over phone calls and exchanged information. Gradually, their conversations evolved into discussions that spanned beyond case details. They found themselves sharing their thoughts, dreams, and fears with each other, forging a bond that transcended the boundaries of their professional lives.

Despite their close connection, Spencer and [Y/N] had never met face to face. They existed in a realm where words held more weight than physical presence, where emotions were conveyed through the subtle nuances of their voices. Each phone call became a lifeline, a beacon of light in the darkness of their respective worlds.

One fateful evening, as the city lay shrouded in the stillness of the night, Spencer found himself pacing his apartment, the weight of unresolved feelings pressing upon his chest. He had always been adept at deciphering the intricacies of human behavior, yet when it came to [Y/N], he found himself at a loss. The thought of never seeing the person behind the voice that had become his anchor filled him with a sense of longing he could no longer ignore.

Summoning all his courage, Spencer dialed [Y/N]'s number, his heart pounding with anticipation as he waited for the familiar voice to greet him. When [Y/N] answered, their conversation flowed effortlessly as always, yet beneath the surface lingered an unspoken tension, a silent plea for something more.

As the minutes stretched into hours, Spencer found himself unable to contain his emotions any longer. With bated breath, he confessed his deepest desires, laying bare his heart for [Y/N] to see. To his relief, [Y/N] reciprocated his feelings, their words intertwining in a symphony of shared longing and unspoken promises.

With the dawn of a new day casting its golden hues upon the cityscape, Spencer and [Y/N] made plans to finally meet in person. Nervous anticipation coursed through Spencer's veins as he stood outside [Y/N]'s apartment building, his heart racing with every passing second.

When [Y/N] emerged from the building, their eyes met for the first time, and in that moment, all doubts and fears melted away. She was a vision in black lace and velvet, her pastel goth aesthetic contrasting beautifully against the urban backdrop. Spencer couldn't tear his gaze away from her, feeling a rush of warmth flood his chest.

As [Y/N] approached him, her smile was like the dawn breaking through the darkness, illuminating his world in a way he never thought possible. And though she may have been different from what society deemed conventional, to Spencer, she was absolutely perfect.

They stood there, two souls drawn together by fate, finally united in the embrace of a love that had transcended the boundaries of time and space. And as they walked hand in hand into the sunrise, Spencer knew that their journey was only just beginning. For in [Y/N], he had found not only a confidant and a companion but a love that would withstand the tests of time. And as they embarked on this new chapter of their lives together, they knew that no distance could ever truly separate them again.

[throwaway-yandere]

"I AM HERE" (Yandere Modern CEO! Alhaitham/Reader)

a/n: btw, the logo's made by Esther anon!!! ❤️ Thank you so much!!!! Ily!!!

Unreliable Synopsis: You got recruited as Alhaitham's assistant... But honestly? You'd rather be a damn idol producer.

Mother of Klee, Alice's note: We (Our cutie pie Lumine and I) just wanted you to know that it wasn't our idea to make you Alhaitham's assistant, ✾... That's all! I'll have Barbara pray for you every Sunday <3

Yandere Idol!1k event masterlist

--------

You didn't get the job.

Technically you did get to work for the company, but you still didn't get the job. It's a strange predicament, truly. It would be comparable to learning how to prepare fried eggs in a culinary class and then being informed that you must serve medium-rare steak with sauce for the test.

Yes. You didn't become an idol's producer.

But anyone can imagine the kind of stress you're under when you found out you were hired as the CEO's assistant.

-----

"Ohohoho, a lost guest! It's always nice to see a new face around here! Can I get you something to drink? I promise you can trust me!" A man approached you with two bottles of iced coffee.

You raised an eyebrow, clumsily scratching your neck. 

The taller blonde man beside him sighed exasperatedly. "I don't think anyone in their right mind would accept drinks coming from..."

An idol wearing a weird bonnet? Yeah.

"Geez, trainee, what's with that look? I don't spike drinks. Is that sooo hard to believe?"

"You're Kaveh and you're Venti of 5wirl, aren't you?" It's clear to you who they were after that brief exchange.

"Yep yep!!!" He does a tiny little finger-gun gesture. "The one and only– wait a minute, that's Itto's line."

"S-Sorry to bother you, but I'm quite lost right now..." You stuttered. "If you could lead me to CEO Alhaitham's office, that would be fantastic."

"Aaaahh, so YOU'RE (Y/n)! We heard rumors that you're going to work as that idiot Alhaitham's assistant, is that true?"

Your nose scrunched. Sadly, that does seem to be the case based on TeyvatPro's employees' behavior towards you.

Venti gave you a look of pity, "maybe you'd have a good life if he wasn't the CEO and a cum laude Akademiyan graduate. Unfortunately for you, that guy is both."

But you're also an Akademiyan graduate...

"That bastard's an absolute numbers guy for a linguistics major, if I were you, I'd purposefully bomb that interview," Kaveh said.

Venti shrugged. "Do you even have to try? I'd crumble if I'm stuck with him in a room for more than an hour. He probably got that attitude from his seniors."

But based on the magazine you've read, you were a senior when Alhaitham was a freshman...

"Yeah, yeah, we get it. Enough slander, Venti." Kaveh scoffed. "Like, hello? I was Alhaitham's senior you prick!"

You perked up. "Oh? What did you major in?"

Kaveh gazes at you proudly. "Architecture."

You raised a hand and you shared a quick high-five. "Nice! I love to idle around St. Deshret's building back then--"

"Aaaaaaaalright nerds, we're here!!!"

Venti loudly announced, bowing in front of the door.

A closed door, huh? There are unspoken things about doors when it comes to superiors. It's a pseudo-science that when a superior's door is always open, they value employer-employee relationships and are willing to hear out inquiries. Considering how Sir Alhaitham's closed...

Well... You shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill.

A pink-haired lady opened the door.

"There you are, little one. Come, wait inside."

---

"We didn't expect someone like you to apply here. Your GPA is astoundingly high– what exactly made you want to apply here?"

The money and the location, but mostly the former. You had a similar salary before your old company faced bankruptcy, but the workplace here has some pretty decent coffee and a nice dental plan. Those standards may be low but at least they weren't nonexistent like your newbie self's preservation skills. 

Miss Miko smiled slyly.

"You know what, don't answer." She said. "The boss should emerge in 3... 2... 1..." 

You heard the door open, but you can't see who it was yet since a bookshelf was blocking your view. 

"Well then, I'll be taking my leave~." The ex-idol giggled. "Farewell, little one."

Of course, it was none other than the CEO himself. Alhaitham walked to his desk, ignoring Miss Miko as he sat down, which amplified your nervousness. He's known as a genius businessman for a good reason. With a demeanor imbued with confidence and wit, his face glows in a rather youthful light. 

"I'm certain you've deduced why I called you here."

You're wary of how his cologne smelled like money. He smells like he's trying to prove something to you. 

"Y-Yes, sir, but I don't think I'd be fit to be your assistant–"

"That's right. You're still incompetent." He deadpanned, "I'm only hiring you because you have neat handwriting, and based on Lumine's analysis, you're something of a realist. My criteria are usually stricter than that."

You know little regarding the full business Alhaitham conducts, but if his standards helped him stay as the CEO instead of Madam Alice, it must be a challenging one.

"But...?" You droned.

"But?"

"W-Why me, then?"

Alhaitham scoffed, "there's no use explaining more than half of my reasonings to you. Let's just say I enjoy how you're something of an odd one out. Uniqueness as an asset is something I value, especially in this industry."

"If I'm not worthy, then may I propose that I'll only be a temporary assistant until you find a suitable idol for me? O-only if you'd allow it, of course."

He raised an eyebrow, not expecting those words from you.

"You're seriously determined to be an idol's producer?"

"I am."

"Even when being MY assistant provides better benefits?"

"Yes, sir."

"How stupidly honest. No, scratch that off the record: you're stupid AND honest." 

You laughed uncomfortably. You're not sure why you're so direct with the CEO. Being straightforward with your potential employer is quite a welcome change from your usual practice of masking your true thoughts with formalities. You usually keep your opinions to yourself, but his mere presence implores you to speak frankly.

"I know that look." He said. "You notice it too, right? We communicate rather naturally for an employer-employee relationship."

"Yes, sir. It's a bit strange."

"Hmm. If you look deep within your past, you wouldn't think it's strange at all."

What does he mean by that? 

Alhaitham reached his hand out. He smirked as you accepted his handshake.

His strong grip feels oddly familiar... You would think that you've known him from somewhere but you are still an Akademiya graduate. You need more evidence to support that gut feeling of yours.

"I like you. Let's get along for the next 5 years."

"Until you find a suitable idol for me." You answered without malice.

His face clenched slightly.

"Sure. Until you no longer need this company."

At that time, you should've noted that there's a difference between those two sentences.

-----

"I AM HERE." Your phone spoke in an AI voice.

It's been a long time since you had your first encounter with Kaveh & Venti and that interview with Alhaitham. Nowadays, you work hard to please the latter. 

You opened your phone. TeyvatPro's app logo is a heart-shaped leaf, but it's anything but natural and comforting. It's corporate and cold. The AKASHA - Device Policy app served as a reminder that you've long abandoned your old job and entered a new business environment.

You miss your old boss. You miss your old colleagues.  

You looked around, unfazed. It's just one of many features the AKASHA app has; it allows Alhaitham to make your phone speak whenever he's searching for you. Since you're usually around wherever he is, this tracker sufficed.

The door opened. You committed the painful error of fulfilling his demands at an ungodly hour of the night, and now Alhaitham has sent you more tasks.

Alhaitham pocketed his phone after seeing you. He just used it to make your phone ring. The AKASHA app doesn't allow you to silence his calls. It'll only stop saying "I AM HERE" once your boss turns it off.

"Mx. (Y/n)."

"Here are the files, sir." 

Miffed at the exasperation in your boss's tone, you cast your eyes downwards as you passed his folder. However, you have to face him head on or he'll begin his streak of "professional" insults. 

You won't let him run his mouth just yet. "Would that be all?"

Alhaitham didn't look like he was in his best mood. As he looked through the folder, skimming through each page with hawk-like eyes, you noticed two strange papers on his desk.

Is that... your file?

"S-Sir, permission to speak?"

"Granted."

"Why is my resume on your desk?" You showed your best poker face because you knew that your next words aren't pleasant. 

"Am I fired?"

Alhaitham spoke immediately, not looking up to face you. "You're uncharacteristically confrontational. Is it because it's 2 in the morning?"

He's wrong about the hour– you're always begrudgingly bending your schedule for your bosses– but he's right about your "lack of spine." However, while you don't need another ulcer, you need this job.

Alhaitham continued, now sporting a more pronounced frown.

"How did you arrive at such a conclusion? I took you as my assistant for good reasons and your groundless inference shames this company."

"I... Pardon?" Rude.

"Perhaps it was wrong for me to assume that you possessed a greater aptitude for critical thinking," Alhaitham spoke sardonically. "Take a look at the desk again. The reason why your resume is there should be obvious."

"Is that right?..."

You glanced at his desk again, gaining unspoken permission to touch and move papers on your boss's desk. When you did, the underlying reason became apparent.

Kaveh's file is also on his desk.

With nowhere to turn, you came up with a single hypothesis.

"Does... Does this mean..." 

You beamed a wonderful smile at your boss, unable back your excitement. "Does this mean I'll be reassigned as Kaveh's producer?!"

He smirked.

Unbeknownst to you, Alhaitham was pleased as you started associating his motivations with another cause entirely. 

You grabbed Kaveh's resume, grinning from ear to ear as you fan your face. "Holy. Oh my God. I'll finally be an idol's producer!"

"Kaveh is still a trainee," Alhaitham replied but you didn't hear him.

There's no better fit for you to work with than someone as theatric as Kaveh. Visual kei, rock, disco– it makes virtually no difference what Kaveh's idol genre will be; you don't care as long as it sounds nice! In addition to being the only noisy members of the "ABC" or "Alhaitham Bashing Coalition," you both graduated from Akademiya, thus it's impossible for you two to not be close friends. 

"I've never seen a person this happy for getting a downgrade."

"Then clearly you don't know what it's like for people who abandoned their engineering careers to pursue art."

"No. No, I don't." Alhaitham said, picking up more folders in his drawer. "Send this to Miss Minci down the first floor and you'll be excused for the day."

As you should've been in the first place. Today was a Sunday.

"Of course! Thank you so much, sir Alhaitham!"

He nodded, uninterested.

"Don't forget to close the door on your way out." 

--------

"I'm taking Kaveh off the list."

"No, it's nothing personal– never mind. Yes, it is. Alice, I can't tolerate it. If I could swap out Venti for Scaramouche on 5wirl, I would. They're too enmeshed with my assistant's business. They don't know (Y/n) any longer than I have, yet they act like they've been friends with them since they were young while they can barely recall who I am."

"I've looked at Kaveh's file and honestly, only an idiot would miss that he wants to join TeyvatProductions to spite me. He knows my history with (Y/n). He knows what I did to their old company."

"... Hah. Please. They're not going to resign. I listen to their phone calls– they're not going to leave until they pay off their student loans and other debts."

You swallowed dryly. By now you were supposed to be at home, but Miss Minci instructed you to return Alhaitham's folder with her revisions and now you can't help but listen while hiding behind the bookshelf in morbid curiosity.

Consequently, you are now hearing sounds that were not intended for your ears.

"... (Y/n)? A pet?"

Alhaitham laughed.

A pet...?

Your breath hitched as you recalled a conversation you had with Venti months prior.

---------

"Haven't you ever wondered why the big boss never takes his earphone out?"

Whenever you two are alone together, Venti makes sure you turn off your phone when speaking to him. You never understood the reason why before this talk.

"Nope."

"Seriously?" Venti blew a raspberry. "Bullshit– ain't no way. You've never thought that, hmm, maybe he's listening to our conversations? Not even once?"

Alhaitham looks at you like an ant lining up in a row: with clear indifference and little regard, yet he is confident that you serve a purpose no matter how insignificant it may be. You noticed that the ability to exercise control matters to him. Alhaitham is obsessed with omniscience in the most subtle way. He is slightly despised by his people, therefore he used you as a subpar pawn to observe their behavior.

Deep down, you know he has no need for an assistant; you're only here to boost his pride. Hence, you tossed that hypothesis out the window.

"No, I doubt he has the time for that." You said after contemplating.

"Gosh, you're naive," Venti sighed. "You're book smart but not street smart, aren't you?"

"Hah?"

"C'mon, just admit it, (Y/n)," the idol frowned.

"Isn't it obvious that Alhaitham's keeping you like a pet?"

----------

So that's what you are.

Now that you overheard Alhaitham's phone call, everything pieced itself together and it terrifies you.

"They're not a pet to me. They were once my mentor–" Alhaitham muttered.

You took a step back.

Shit.

He must've heard that.

You didn't mean to snoop around. You're not a bad person. You just wanted to drop a few more folders. You didn't mean to eavesdrop–

"... (Y/n), are you there?"

You didn't breathe as you continued hiding behind the bookshelf.

You can't handle this right now. Confrontations are something you do not trust yourself with. 

You stole a glance at Alhaitham as if seeing him for the first time. There sat a man with a veneer of calm. A man you've never met before.

"... Hmph."

Alhaitham pulled out his phone.

His face, his smirk, his breathing... they're now entirely alien to you.

Your phone rang.

"I AM HERE."

Your blood froze.

Anxiety coursed through your veins, not to recede but to possess. Your reaction is almost immediate yet his impinged movements served to make your heart run faster. You propel your heels to the door in a noisy attempt to leave even while you heard his chair drag against the floor, making his way toward you effortlessly. 

Then his cold hand was clamped above yours, holding you and the doorknob with intense firmness.

You trembled.

His grip feels like deja vu.

"There you are. Why are you still here, my assistant?" 

ANSYTEA: hehe thank you ✾ anon for joining the 1k event <333!!!

[birdsareblooming]

sonic can't text shadow bc even though rouge forced the two to exchange numbers in case of emergency, sonic immediately texted "hey bby girl <3" and got blocked

[lovestruckangels]

Small fluffy Obey Me Headcanons

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Simeon, Solomon, Diavolo and Barbatos

CW: A bit angsty in each person's parts, nothing too severe, relationships are kept neutral.

Authors Note: I believe I've seen a few of these prior and just absorbed them without realizing- also me projecting onto the brothers. Under a cut due to post length.

Lucifer

He has dyscalclia, and struggles when it comes to doing math and looking at numbers. He's too prideful to admit it though. It's why paperwork and work tends to take him so long- causing work to pile up.

After the fall, Lucifer would find himself wandering the halls, and would sneak into his brothers rooms to make sure they were okay. He'd been caught multiple times by Levi, and learned to be quite good at playing Mario (or the Devildom equivalent) games because of it

Lucifer has another credit card entirely and purposely adds money for Mammon to spend, especially if he thought he was being to harsh on Mammon.

He prefers to be dressed entirely, because clothes cover the scars from where his angel wings used to be.

Mammon

He's way smarter than he lets on, he just knows his brothers have incredibly difficult lives and he wants to take any pressure that he can off of them- even if it makes him the butt of their jokes.

He's incredibly skilled at math, engineering and fixing things- he was quite focused on cars and racing for a while (especially since gambling on them make quite a profit).

Mammon may be greedy, but he often buys small gifts for his brothers and manages to sneak it to them.

Mammon traces over his pact marks when he gets nervous, it helps to ground him if he begins to panic.

Leviathan

Levi's obsession and love for Ruri-chan came from a place of self hatred after becoming a demon.

Levi used to have a mini tub for Henry to swim in as well, but changed it to having a tank so he could fall asleep watching Henry swim around.

Being the Navy's general makes the ocean incredibly calming for him, he will come by Devildoms rivers and oceans and just stare at them at times to relax.

Levi absolutely buys double of almost every manga or anime in case his brothers want to watch it- and he has certain ones saved his brothers in the hope they ask.

Satan

When learning about human culture before the exchange program, he became oddly obsessed with late 2000 Disney movies and would binge watch them when he had the time.

Satan will find synopsis' of Levi's animes and would write fanfictions of them- especially if Levi complained about the ending or way something was done.

Although Satan did have a majority of his Wrath directed towards Lucifer, he was the first and only one of his brothers to learn about his dyscalclia, and has sworn to secrecy about it to protect his brothers pride.

Satan was (and is) a D&D nerd, and has false books full of dice sets for "emergency sessions".

Asmo

After the fall, they got weirdly obsessed with clouds and the sky, and would find places to just watch their beauty, his go to with any partner is to compare them to the beauty of the night sky.

A really good big brother to the twins, used to buy pillows that were "in style" for the twins - ended up getting Belphie the cow print pillow he always has before he was banished.

Every so often they mentally fight to not get piercings. They want some- namely a nose piercing, but don't want to "run the risk of tarnishing their perfect face" if it didn't turn out right.

Asmo has a strange ability to tell what size someone's clothes are- and always manages to get matching sets that fit someone perfectly.

Beelzebub

Beel has super good rhythm, and plays music surprisingly well- especially on the drums!

Beel got into sports to physically tire him out after the long days- it eases his nightmares to tire himself out to such an extent.

He's incredibly comfortable to lay on, there's been quite a few times that Belphie comes over and flops against him to nap.

Once had a comment on his Devilgram selfie that said "Beelzeboobies" and he's so confused as to what the commenter meant by it.

Belphagor

He got oddly obsessed with musicals, especially since it gives him inspiration for dreams. He's particularly fond of Heathers.

Love language is choking plushie buying, especially if he knows it's something his partner cuddles up to.

He sleeps during class but somehow passes almost perfectly.

If he somehow struggles with sleeping, he goes to Satan to listen to him read.

Simeon

Simeon makes it a mission to better understand technology and makes gifts for those who help him.

Simeon grew a slight obsession with humanity after and during the exchange program- often finding himself wishing he would've joined the brothers in the Celestial War.

Simeon holds study sessions with Luke and often invites Barbatos and Diavolo to talk over tea and sweets.

Solomon

Absolutely covered in markings from his pacts, they travel from his neck to his ankles- and when he starts trying to concentrate he traces over the ones that travel down his arms.

He developed multiple relationships in the Human world, but grew to cherish friendships over romantic relationships.

Has a large collection of Grandpa slippers.

Diavolo

Loves sharing his clothes, especially because he likes seeing how his friends (and partners) look in more royal suited clothes- and likes seeing how his clothes swallow them up.

He grows incredibly attached fast- especially given that his only friends were not usually friends with him of their free will.

He finds sitting on the castles' roof and staring up at the sky relaxing- it makes him feel like every other demon and shortly lifts the weight of being the future king off his shoulders.

Barbatos

Listens to music when cleaning the palace but refuses to tell anyone what's on his playlists.

Accidentally set Diavolo on a rampage by giving him pickles- insures that pickles are banned in the castle from that point forward.

Once managed to pin Satan during a wrathful episode- every one agreed to never talk about it, himself included.

[missrosegold]

you met me at a perfect time

Synopsis: You’d always hoped that you’d eventually get closer to your attractive next-door neighbor with the shitty box-dye job. You just wished it was under different circumstances. 

Word count: 9K

Paring: Dabi x Reader (fem reader)

Warnings: Zombie!AU so the usual: corse language, death, sickness, violence, blood. So please Minors or Ageless blogs please DNI. This is rated 18+

This is for @medusashima rise of the dead collab event!

This was so much fun to write! I have a soft spot for MHA and zombies, so writing for both was a treat!

As this is a Zombie Apocalypse AU, I’m going to take it one step further and say that no one has quirks in this. That being said: Touya never burnt up and turned into Dabi, but he still uses the name on occasion, and is the implied black sheep of his family. He still has all of his piercings, He’s not losing those.

There isn’t really a happy ending to this, be forewarned.

Not gonna lie: I really do want to write more for tattoo artist!Dabi. He’s so hot.

Likes and reblogs are always apricated! I hope you enjoy <3

The outbreak started on a seemingly average day in May.

The day had started off normally enough. You’d woken up early to go get the mail and do a few things around your apartment, since you knew your roommate was going to be working late that night and you figured you’d utilize your day off to do something productive.

You slipped on your shoes and headed downstairs to your building’s mailbox, taking the stairway to the first floor. You unlocked your unit’s mailbox and gathered up yours and your roommate’s mail, casting a glance to your left so you could see out of your building’s glass entrance. You frowned slightly at the sight of wet concrete and dark skies as you shut your mailbox and locked it.

It was the middle of May but it had been unseasonably rainy so far. You had just moved to the area a few months back and your roommate had assured you that this district’s weather was normally sunny and warm during the spring months, but you had yet to see it.

You were just about to turn around and head back upstairs to drop the mail off, but you saw something that made you pause.

Your neighbor one floor down from you, a kind middle-aged gentleman who lived in unit 312, was standing outside in the parking lot at front of the building, swaying lightly from side to side as he peered down at his reflection in a puddle.

That was odd. Your neighbor, while not overly outgoing, had never acted like that before. He was just… standing there, swaying as if he were drunk or in some sort of trance.

You don’t know why, but something told you to go check on him. It wasn’t like him to act like that. Sighing, you opened the door and stepped outside, slowly making your way towards your neighbor who had yet to acknowledge your presence

“Mr. Takashi?” you called out hesitantly. “Mr. Takashi, are you alright?”

The man said nothing in return as he continued to look down at his distorted reflection in the puddle.

Fuck. You think inwardly. The man might be having some sort of medical emergency. If that was the case, you’d have to call somebody. Just as you were pulling out your phone to punch in the non-emergency number, the man in front of you finally seemed to take notice of you and his head jerked up violently to stare at you.

It took everything in you not to recoil at the sudden movement, but the thing that really has you worried, are his eyes

The skin around them is sunken in and so dark it looks almost black. The whites of his eyes have yellowed and a strange sort of haze seems to be lingering over them, one that you know he didn’t have a few days ago when you had exchanged pleasantries with him in the hallway. The next thing that hits you is the smell.

You can’t tell if it’s his breath or body odor but whatever the hell it is, it hits you like a punch to the gut and you have to fight with yourself to NOT cover your nose and back away in disgust.

It smells like something is rotting. Like a corpse that’s been left out in the sun for far too long-

“Mr. Takashi, are you okay?” You ask him again, urgently this time. He still hasn’t responded to your questions, and now you’re getting seriously worried. You call out to him one more time, and he seems to snap out of the trance he’s in. He blinks and looks around, confused, before his gaze shifts to you, but you notice that the haze hasn’t cleared in his eyes.

“Oh… hello… you’re the girl from floor four, yes?”

“That’s me.” You confirm, still unsure of what to make of his strange behavior. “Are you okay sir? You’ve just been standing out here staring off into space. I’ve been trying to get your attention, but you didn’t answer me. Are you feeling well?”

“Oh… m’fine.” He slurs slightly. “Just haven’t been feeling myself today. But I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure there isn’t someone I can call for you?” you press gently. “Maybe we could call someone to take you to a doctor’s office?”

Your neighbor is silent for a few moments and you realize that he’s staring off into space again. You can’t be sure if it’s just a trick of the light, but it looks like his eyes are cloudier than they were before—

“Mr. Takashi?” you try one more time and his head turns in your direction unnaturally.

“Oh m’fine. Just haven’t been feeling myself today. But I’ll be okay.”

What the fuck is going on with him? You think to yourself. Why is he repeating the same thing again?

Almost as if he can read your thoughts, the older man shakes his head and pushes himself away from you. “I’ve gotta go.” He mutters as he shuffles past you on unsteady legs. “Not feeling good. See you later girl.”

You watch, concerned, as he stumbles back towards the building and disappears inside, still looking like he’s in a fog. Nothing about that whole exchange felt right. Everything about it, from the way he spoke to you, to the way he moved, was wrong, but you can’t place what about the interaction has you so on edge.

Something about your neighbor is very, very wrong. But you don’t know what it is, or who you could even tell. After a moment of silently watching him stumble into the building, you glance back up towards the dark sky and put a hand over your eyes, squinting upwards.

It looks like it’s about to rain. Hard.

The first dop of rain that hits your cheek confirms your theory, and you dart back inside for cover. Once inside, you look around the lobby for your neighbor, but he’s all but disappeared.

Hopefully he’s gone back to his apartment, you think to yourself, as you make the trek back up to your floor. You don’t want to run into him stumbling around the halls. You hope that he’s just incredibly tired for some reason and that’s why he’s acting all out of sorts, but something tells you that’s not what’s bothering him.

The whole exchange has you so preoccupied, that you barely register the door to the unit next to you open, and someone step out to lean heavily against the doorframe.

“You okay there Doll? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You damn near trip and stumble over your own feet at the sound of a familiar, raspy voice and you quickly right yourself to make eye contact with your next-door neighbor, hoping to god that he didn’t see your blunder. Judging from the playful glint you see in his very blue eyes; you know he did, and suddenly, all your concerns from earlier fly out the window.

Your neighbor next door in unit 401, is an interesting guy to put it mildly.

You don’t know much about him, only that his name is Touya, but he tends to go by Dabi depending on who he’s hanging around, and he works as a popular tattoo artist in the downtown area. Apparently, he’s apparently something of a master with ink and piercings alike. Almost all visible skin on him from the neck down is tattooed, and you know he’s done most of it himself.

You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t harbor something of a crush on the man.

He is unfairly attractive, in the unconventional sort of way that would have made your high-school self swoon. He’s tall and lean, but has a good amount of muscle to him – you’ve stared at the definition in his arms while watching videos of him tattooing clients on his Instagram page long enough to know that. His ears have multiple piercings in them each, and he has quite a few facial piercings. You’ve never found them particularly attractive on people before you met him, but they suit his face nicely.

One fun fact about him that you’ve learned recently, curtesy of your roommate, is he dyes his hair. You used to think his inky spikes were natural, since the shade suited him nicely, but as it turns out that’s not the case according to her. He must do it himself though, because the last couple of times you’ve seen him, his roots have been getting progressively lighter to the point that you can’t ignore it anymore.

You haven’t been able to speak to him much aside from the occasional small talk when you inevitably cross paths in the hallway. You tend to work early to late, while he works late in the afternoon till even later at night then you, so it’s rare for you to meet up like this. He must have the day off too.

“Hey Touya… or, is it Dabi?”

He snorts, sending you a wicked grin as he takes a drag of his cigarette. “Touya’s fine, Doll. I don’t make pretty girls call me Dabi. That’s reserved for clients and my asshole co-workers.”

Right. He’s probably tattooed his fair share of less than pleasant people in his line of work. You probably wouldn’t want them knowing your full name either, if you had his job.

Fuck, did he just call you pretty?

“You know you shouldn’t be smoking in the hallway. Mrs. Honda will have a fit if she catches you again. I heard her screaming at you from down in the lobby last time.” You shudder as you think of your building’s superintendent. For a woman in her mid-sixties who couldn’t be any taller then five feet, she could be really scarry when she wanted to be.

“That old hag won’t do shit to me. I pay my rent on time, which is more then I can say for some fuckers here.” Touya mutters around the cigarette, but he still disappears into his apartment, presumably to put out the cigarette, before returning to lean on the doorframe.

He looks you up and down for a moment, seeming to mull over something in his head, before he juts his chin at you. “What’s your plans for tonight?”

Well, that was new. Touya never asked about your personal life, or if you had anything else going on aside from work before. Was he asking because he was curious, or--?

“I think I’ll be staying close to home tonight. It’s been a while since I took it easy. What about you?”

“Might be going out with some of the guys from work for dinner tonight. Probably won’t be late though.” The hint of a smirk pulls at his lips. “If I get back early enough, you and I should do something.”

Oh. That was unexpected. Unexpected, but not unwelcome.

“You wanna do something with me?” you clarify. He nods, the sly grin never leaving his face.

“Why? I’m not saying no, but we’ve never been able to have an actual conversation up until now. Suddenly you want to do something with me?” You ask and he laughs, shaking his head.

“I’ve had my eye on you since you moved in next door Princess. Not my fault that we work opposite shifts. Besides, I thought for sure you would’ve noticed me checking you out with how often I’ve caught you staring at me.”

You cough and look away, not wanting him to see how flushed his comment had made you. Goddamn it. Had he really been watching you this whole time? How could he be stupidly attractive and preceptive? It wasn’t fair.

“Anyways, I figured it was about time to make a move, since you clearly weren’t going to.” Touya continues with a smirk, caging his arms back behind his head. “I have the day off and it looks like you do too. You should come over later tonight after I get back and do something with me.”

You cross your arms over your chest and shoot him a teasing grin, trying to recover. “Oh? Like what? You gonna let me re-dye your hair or something? I think your roots are starting to show.” You squint at the crown of his head, where you can see the tell-tale signs of lighter coloured hair starting to grow out from underneath the dark, spiky strands.

Touya groans at your observation and runs a hand exasperatedly through his hair, ruffling it. “Don’t remind me. I haven’t had the chance to dye it again.”

“What is your natural colour anyways? I thought it was black. You wear it well.” You tell him honesty. 

Touya shoots you a grin. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

He laughs. “Come over and see for yourself.”

“Maybe I will.” You tease back. “All depends on when you get back from dinner with your friends though. I’m not a two-in-the-morning-visit type of girl, and I know how late you like to stay out.”

It’s not far from the truth. Sometimes you’ve heard him stumbling back into his apartment well into the early hours of the morning. Probably getting back in from drinking at one of the clubs you know he frequents, or doing god knows what else.

He snorts at your comment, but the playful glint in his eyes doesn’t leave. “Shouldn’t be out too late this time. I’m telling you, Princess, if you get lonely tonight, you know where to find me.”

He closes the door to his apartment without another word.

 That night everything went to shit.

Your roommate didn’t come back to the apartment. That was the first thing that tipped you off that something wasn’t right. You knew that she was working late, but it was pushing three hours past her normal end time, and you were starting to worry.

You try to call her several times, but every call went straight to voicemail, so you eventually gave up on that endeavor. Same with texting. All of the texts you send her garnered no response so after a while, you stop that too. You hope she’s with a friend or maybe she decided to go out after work like she sometimes did, but you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that was building in the pit your stomach.

Trying to distract yourself, you flip on the television and it went right to your local news. The news woman is standing outside of a hospital, reporting about multiple patients all showing similar signs of an infection that seemed to be caused by an unknown pathogen, before she was suddenly shooed away by several firefighters.

As the camera pans away from the woman and flicks back towards the hospital, you remember thinking that the hospital looked vaguely like the one about twenty minutes away from your apartment building, before it suddenly erupts into flames.

An explosion in the distance rattles the windows to your apartment, and you bolt over to the closest one without thinking. The vibrations from the blast are still vibrating through your apartment as you peer outside in shock.

Sure enough, you can see the tell-tale glow of a massive fire in the distance. Several skyscrapers have blocked your view of the actual hospital, but you know it’s ablaze. Suddenly, you’re very thankful that your building isn’t directly in the city and that a large park separates your home from the major core, because you can only imagine how chaotic the downtown is right now.

Shuddering, you rip your eyes away from the window and move back towards the T.V. feeling numb all over. The scene has shifted back to the main news room, where you can see the news anchors trying desperately to figure out what’s going on, and re-establish contact with their fellow reporter and her crew at the hospital.

Inwardly you know it’s hopeless. If they’re not dead, they’re badly injured.

You’re just about to shut the T.V. off and reach for your phone to call your roommate one more time, before you’re interrupted by the sounds of loud, uneven knocking at door leading into your apartment.

For some reason, you feel your blood freeze in your veins at the sound. You pocket your phone into the back pocket of your sleep shorts and move hesitantly towards the door. You approach slowly, making sure you don’t make too much noise as you put your eye up to the peep hole to see who’s at your door.

It’s Mr. Takashi from floor three.

The peep hole doesn’t let you see much aside from his fuzzy figure, but biased on what you can see, he doesn’t look good. You can’t be sure, but you think there may be blood on him—

“Sweetheart? Sweethart are you in there?” the man croaks out, swaying side to side in front of your door. “I need… I need some help… Can you let me in? Please let me in…”

Goddamn it. What the hell was going on tonight? Normally you would have simply called out to him that if he was in need of medical attention, you’d call him an ambulance, but based on what you just witnessed on the T.V. and the explosion outside your window, you don’t think the hospital is an option anymore.

“Mr. Takashi? What’s wrong? What can I help you with? Are you hurt?” you finally manage to call out to him from behind the safety of your door.

“I need help… I feel… I feel really sick… please… you’re the only one that cares enough to ask…”

Fuck sakes.

Your bleeding heart is going to get you killed one day, you’re certain of it.

You suck on your teeth as you weigh your options. You know this is a bad idea, you feel it in your gut. He hasn’t been acting right since you saw him this morning, and you have no idea what seems to be bothering him now. You’re not remotely qualified to deal with what’s currently bothering him, whether it be physically or mentally, but if something awful happens to him, and you could’ve possibly done something to help him, you know that you won’t be able to forgive yourself.

So, you grit your teeth and unlock your front door, allowing your downstairs neighbor to stumble in as you shut the door and lock it behind you.

“Okay, what seems to be the problem—” Your voice dies off as the man slowly turns around to look at you, and you have to fight off the familiar urge to cover your nose and hold back vomit.

You don’t know how, but somehow, he looks even worse than he did earlier. His skin looks like it’s lost all of its parlor and looks almost translucent in the soft lighting of your apartment. His eyes are glassy and the parts of his irises that aren’t milky, are bloodshot. Now that you’re able to get a better look at him, his clothes look like they have splatters of blood strewn across them, but you can’t tell if they’re his or not…

If that wasn’t concerning enough; that foul, rotting stench that was wafting off him earlier is ten-fold now, and it almost brings you to your knees. You try to breathe through your mouth, but it does little to help you as you fight back the gag reflex you feel trying to kick in. You have no idea where the stench is emanating from. You can’t see any open wounds on him, though it does little to explain how the red stains on his clothes – which you’re almost certain is blood – got on him. You already know that whatever’s wrong with him, it’s far out of your capabilities.

“Mr. Takashi? Mr. Takashi, I don’t know if I can help you.” You manage to get out as you watch him shuffle aimlessly around. “Have you tried calling a doctor? Anyone? I don’t think I’m equipped to help you properly—”

“Can’t get through… all busy… I feel so sick.” He mutters, looking at you, but at the same time, looking straight through you, as if you’re just an obstacle in his way.

“I- hold on, what’s all the stuff on you?” you gesture to rust coloured stains covering him. “Is that blood? Is it yours? Are you bleeding somewhere?” You’re not sure if you want to know the answer, but if he’s not going to tell you what’s bothering him, you’ll have to get it out of him some other way.

“Dead, all dead… not for long.”

You’re not sure if you like that answer… if you could even call it that.

“Who’s dead?” you press. “Mr. Takashi? Did you do something?”

But your neighbor isn’t listening to you. You watch, horrified, as his eyes seem to glaze over completely, and suddenly his breathing becomes labored to the point you’re not sure if he can breathe at all.

“Shit.” You groan as you grab his hand without thinking, and drag him through your apartment to you and your roommate’s shared bathroom. You have to force the door open a bit as you drag him in the small bathroom and rip open the medicine cabinet on the wall. The hinges on the door have been getting stuck recently and your landlord has yet to fix them, despite how many times you and your roommate have complained.

You’re not really sure what you’re looking for as you search through your cabinet frantically. Something, to help clear his airways preferably, but neither you nor your roommate are asthmatics, so you know your chances of finding useful medications are slim to none.  

Suddenly a strange croaking growl cuts through the air behind you, and you turn to face your neighbor, only to freeze.

He looks feral. Deranged is a better word for it. His mouth is hanging open, and his limbs are jerking sporadically, but you don’t see any light behind his eyes… what you can see of them anyways. He looks like he’s about to collapse, but something is holding him up, like a puppet on a string. He looks like a corpse that recently died. Maybe he is one, you don’t know.

“Mr. Takashi?” you try once, hesitantly.

His head jerks in your general direction. Then he lunges.

You barely have any time to react, let alone scream for help as he claws at you, groaning unintelligibly as he tries to sink his teeth into your skin. You manage to hook an arm under his jaw, shutting his mouth and driving his face away from yours, as you use your other hand to try and subdue his own, which are trying to find purchase on your body.

Thankfully, he isn’t a big man, and he may even weigh less then you do, so he’s not particularly hard to ward off – especially considering he doesn’t seem to have the best control over his physical faculties at the moment – but you still struggle to hold him off long enough to put some space in between you and him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Get. Off.” You snarl as you shove him to the side hard enough that he falls into your shower tub, bringing your shower curtain down with him. You don’t stop to catch your breath; you bolt out of the bathroom before he can untangle himself and slam the door shut behind you.

You’re suddenly grateful that the bathroom door jams whenever it’s fully closed. You have a hell of a time with it some days, and you’re hoping that it’ll be enough to hold him off for now.

But what if it isn’t enough? What if he comes at you again?

You don’t stick around long enough to entertain the idea. You’re bolting through your apartment, and are out your front door before you know it, slamming it shut behind you, as you press yourself against it, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath.

You look around your hallway and you immediately wish that you hadn’t. The place looks like a war-zone. Several of the overhead pot-lights are flickering ominously above you, there are signs of a possible struggle further down the hall way to your left, and the walls across from you look like they have blood smeared across them.

It’s alarmingly quiet. Too quiet for a place the looks like someone may have been murdered in not long ago.

You strain your ears to see if you can hear any of your other neighbors in their units, but all you’re met with is silence. The abnormal quiet does little to comfort you. Normally, you can always hear some sort of noise from your neighbors out in the hallway, even when they’re in their apartments. You don’t know why it’s so quiet now, but it has you on edge.

How the hell you didn’t notice the chaos that must have been unfolding outside your door is beyond you. You were so wrapped up trying to figure out where your roommate was, that you weren’t paying attention to anything else – now you’re paying for it.

The deathly silence reminds you you’re alone. You’re out in the open and you don’t have anything to protect yourself with. Going back into your apartment is out of the question, and you’re not particularly close enough with any of your neighbors to go pounding on their doors for help. (Something tells you they wouldn’t open their doors for anyone now anyways)

Except for possibly one.

You turn to your right where the door leading to the stairwell is. Across from the stairwell is the last apartment on your floor. Unit 401 – Touya’s apartment.

You wouldn’t call each other close. Hell, the first full conversation you’ve had with him was literally earlier today, but he did invite you over, and if his earlier comments meant anything, he’s had his eye on you for a while now. Maybe he’d be willing to help you—

A distant scream shatters the illusion of relative safety, and makes up your mind for you. You can’t tell where it’s coming from, but you don’t want to find out. You bolt over to Touya’s door and knock frantically on it, trying to be as quiet as possible. “Touya? Touya, are you home? If you are, please let me in, it’s an emergency!” you hiss, throwing a look over your shoulder to make sure that you’re still alone out in the hallway. Thankfully, you don’t see anyone.

Your tattooed neighbor doesn’t open the door. You start to feel a cold sweat break out over your body, and you knock on his door again, a little louder this time. You’re about to call out to him, until you remember he told you that he was going out this with some friends tonight.

Fuck, you don’t even know if he’s back yet. You can’t remember seeing him pull into the parking lot outside the apartment building, or hearing him pass by your door to get to his own. If he’s not home, you’re screwed. You’ve left your apartment and now are standing in the hallway, unarmed, wearing nothing but a loose t-shirt and sleep shorts. Not ideal for running for your life in.

You’re just about to raise your hand to pound on his door one last time, before the door to the staircase is violently ripped open and Touya comes bursting through it, gasping for air. His badly dyed hair is windswept and wet, presumably from the light rain outside. There is something thick and dark dripping from his jacket as he hunches over, panting like he’s run the whole way home, and maybe he has. All you know is the dark substance that’s now dripping onto the floor isn’t water. It looks suspiciously like—

Touya looks up, his blue eyes wild in the dim of the hallway, and meets your own startled ones. He blinks like he can’t believe that you’re standing outside of his door in nothing but your sleepwear, before his face suddenly shifts and he strides over to you.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” he hisses as he pushes past you to unlock his door and all but drags you inside his apartment, making sure to lock the door behind him before turning to you again. “Have you not seen what the fuck is going on out there?”

“No… I mean… What do you mean, what’s going on out there?” you parrot him, casting another nervous glace to the door behind you. “I’m more concerned about the weird shit that’s happening here.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know Mr. Takeshi? One floor down from us?”

“Should I?”

“Well— it doesn’t matter anymore I guess.” You mutter darkly. “Point is, I think he’s really sick. He’s not acting right and he smells like something died.” Your nose crinkles in disgust as you recall the memory.

“He came pounding on my door out of nowhere and I let him in thinking he needed help, next thing I know, he’s trying to bite me! I got away and locked him in the bathroom, but I didn’t know if the door would hold, so I bolted out of my unit.”

You try and give him a smile. It doesn’t work. “I didn’t know what else to do, so I tried to see if you were home. Thankfully you showed up when you did. The hallway looks like it’s got blood smeared everywhere and I haven’t seen a single person all night-“

“He didn’t bite you, did he?”

“He—what?” you ask, caught off guard by his question.

“The dude in your bathroom, he didn’t bite you, right?” Touya asks impatiently, gesturing towards you. You shake your head.

“No, but he tried to. Why?”

“It’s not just him.” Touya juts his chin towards the front door. “He’s not the only one acting like that. I don’t know what it is, but it’s everywhere. They were downtown too.”

“There’s more people like him?” You groan, fighting the urge to panic at the news. What the hell was going on? Was it some mutant case of rabies, or was it something worse…

“Trust me, you haven’t seen half the shit I’ve seen.” Touya mutters as he crosses over to the windows on the other side of his living room, and pulls back the black-out shades covering them so he can peer out into the darkness. “Downtown is a fucking nightmare. People are biting people and tearing into them, doing all sorts of other nasty shit. It looks like fucking World War III has broken out, but with cannibals instead of nukes”

“The hospital close to here exploded.” You mutter, thinking back to that final news report. “Did you see it?”

“I felt it.” Touya corrects you with a grimace. “I was driving back here and was about two blocks away when it happened. I’m amazed the windows in my car didn’t implode. Shit was loud as hell.”

He lets the drapes fall back into place, plunging the room into darkness again and you hear him fumbling around in the dark for a moment, muttering obscenities under his breath. You hear a small click somewhere to your left and his T.V. turns on. The glare illuminates Touya’s lanky form and you see his brow furrow as he rapidly surfs through T.V. channels – all of them are broadcasting static.

“Shit.” He mutters as he tosses the remote down on the couch, raking a hand through his hair. “No T.V. That was fucking fast. The people on the radio wouldn’t shut the hell up about some viral sickness while I was driving back here, but I lost the channel about a block away. Couldn’t get any other stations to work either.”

“The radio stopped working as well?” Truthfully, if he hadn’t had told you, you wouldn’t have known. You switched to Spotify a while ago and never looked back, but the knowledge that the radio broadcasters have fallen silent, possibly for the last time, is chilling.

“Same as the T.V.” Touya grumbles as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He taps it and lifts the cracked screen to his face, scowling as he holds it out in front of him. “I don’t have any bars, do you?”

You may not have been smart enough to grab a knife from your kitchen before you ran out of your unit, but thank God your phone never leaves your side. You nod and reach into the back pocket of your sleep shorts and pull out your device. You unlock it and shake your head, holding it out so he can see.

“No, I don’t have any service and I can’t access the internet. It must be a provider issue.”

“Fuck sakes.” Touya snarls as he jams his phone back into his pockets. “No T.V., no phones, no radio. You know what this means right?” he looks at you expectantly and you nod, dread pooling in your stomach.

“We’re alone.”

“You got that right.”  Touya is silent for a moment. His gaze falls to his feet and then back to the covered window. He doesn’t look at you as he mutters “My brother works at that fuckn’ hospital.”

“Your brother?” he nods, still not looking at you, but you can see the worry shining in his eyes as he bites at his lip. You can see the outline of his tongue toying with one of the piercings in his cheek. He’s stressed. He doesn’t have to tell you, you know.

“Younger brother. He’s in school to become a doctor. He’s doing his residency there. I can’t remember what shift he’s on right now.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings.” You say. You don’t know how to comfort him, but you know it’s not a wise idea to let him linger on his brother’s whereabouts. Touya nods absentmindedly.

“I’m the oldest of four. My sister’s an elementary school teacher, my younger brother works at the hospital and my youngest brother’s still in high school. He’s supposed to graduate next month.” He frowns. “Haven’t spoken to them in ages aside from Natsu – brother at the hospital. Kinda regretting that now.”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” You tell him quickly, stepping closer to him in an effort to get him to look at you. It works and cerulean blue eyes turn to focus on you. You swallow and continue.

“Don’t assume anything until you get actual answers. Right now, nobody knows anything, but what I do know is that we probably shouldn’t stay here. I have no idea what’s going on out there, but if the downtown is as bad as you say it is, then it probably won’t be long until whatever it is makes its way over here.”

“It’s already here.” Touya mutters. “Didn’t you say one of those fuckers is locked in your bathroom?”

“Yeah.” You turn to eye the wall that separates your units and you swear you hear faint yelling and banging coming from the other side. “I don’t think I can go back over there.”

“No.” Touya agrees with a sigh, and he turns on his heel and disappears down his small hallway to where you assume his bedroom is. He returns a moment later with two backpacks and tosses one at you. “Help me pack some shit and we’ll get the hell out of here.”

“Where?” you ask him as he strides to his kitchen. You hear drawers opening and closing and cutlery being rattled around.

“My family home. It’s out in the country, away from the city. As much as I don’t want to pay my old man a visit, it’s the only other place I can think of that’s remotely safe. I can say hi to my mom at least, siblings too, if they’re at the house.”

“Would they be okay with me tagging along?” you ask hesitantly. You may have been neighbors for the past several months, but this man is still practically a perfect stranger to you. The most you’ve ever talked to him was today. He doesn’t need to do anything for you.

As if he can read your thoughts, Touya’s head peaks around the corner to stare at you, eyebrow quirked and shit: his eyebrows are a hell of a lot lighter than the ends of his hair. How you only noticed it now, is a mystery.

“Well, I’m not just going to leave you here.” He tells you with the hint of a smirk before he ducks back around to keep packing some essentials.

“As far as I know, you might be the only other unaffected person in the building. I might be an asshole, but I’m not that much of an asshole, Princess.”

“You think so?” you ask, peering into the bag, only to see an oversized shirt and a pair of sweatpants staring back at you.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see anyone living coming up from the parking lot, but there’s a whole lot of blood in the stairwell and our hallway doesn’t look much better—ah shit.”

You hear him hiss in annoyance and you put your bag down to join him in the kitchen. You round the corner to see him holding his shoulder, wincing slightly. He pulls his hand away after a moment and stares down at his hand.

His palm is covered in red.

He looks up and your eyes meet. “It’s not mine.” He says quickly, but the look on your face tells him that you don’t believe him. He shrugs off his dark leather jacket with a curse and you can see the shoulder of his white t-shirt is stained through with blood.

“It’s not all mine.” He tells you again, making you look up at him. He grimaces. “I got jumped by one of those assholes as I was getting out of my car. She didn’t bite me, but she put up a hell of a struggle.”

He pulls down the collar of his shirt for you to inspect. Sure enough, there is no bite mark, but there are two long angry red gashes that are slowly oozing blood down his inked arm.

“We need to clean that.” You mutter. “I don’t know what this is, or how it’s spread, but you don’t want that getting infected.”

“It might be too late for that.”

Your gaze flicks up to meet his and he looks away. “What?” you ask him quietly. “What did you say?”

Touya only looks away from you. “Forget it. Just… help me get some things together and then we can go.”

You pack in relative silence, the static from the T.V. acting as background noise as Touya directs you on what to pack. You ask about the spare change of clothes in your bag and he shrugs, muttering something about how you probably wouldn’t make it far in what you’re currently wearing.

It almost feels like you’re packing to go on a trip with him. You could almost trick yourself into believing it – if you ignore the muffled banging and inhumane snarls coming from the other side of the wall where your apartment is.

That’s not the only disturbing thing that you’re hearing either. The once quiet hallway outside Touya’s door is starting to come alive with the sounds of low groans filling the air. You swear you hear shuffling footsteps moving past the front door on multiple occasions, but every time you turn your head to look in the direction of the door, there’s nothing there. It does nothing to ease your nerves or help your paranoia.

What you’re really worried about, is Touya himself. His movements are slowing down, and he seems to be slightly uncoordinated as he shoves a set of knives into his pack. You hope it’s just pain from the claw marks on his shoulder that’s making him act strangely, but based on what you’ve already seen-

“I think that’s it.” Touya sighs, casting a look around his messy apartment. He breathes out through his nose, before reaching into his jacket pocket and fishes out his car keys with a small jingle. He looks at them longingly for a moment, before tossing them to you. You barely have time to react before he’s pushing his bag towards you as well.

“Those are the keys to my car. It’s parked near the front entrance. If you move fast and don’t get distracted, you should make it no problem.”

“That’s fantastic, but why are you telling me this?” You press, as you hold his keys back out towards him. “We’re going together. I don’t know where your family home is. If you want me to drive, I’m going to need directions.”

Touya laughs, but it’s not a kind one, as he shoves the keys back to your person. “About that… I don’t think I’m going anywhere Princess.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not going to leave you here—”

Your words die in your throat as Touya aggressively shoves down the front of his shirt so you can see the gory scratch marks on him, and you feel your heart drop into your stomach.

They look so much worse then when he first showed them to you. The skin around them looks like it’s peeling back from the gashes, and seems to be turning black around the edges. It almost looks like the wound is starting to rot, but you don’t know how that’s possible. He only got injured recently. There’s no way that it could’ve gotten infected that quickly-

“Listen to me.” He almost begs you, snapping you out of your reprieve. “I’ve been feeling like shit since that bitch downstairs raked her fucking talons down my arm. I’ve had a fever since it happened and it’s not letting up.”

He points to the worst of the marks. “This happened an hour ago, and I’m already worse. I don’t think it matters if it’s a bite or not – if one of these things manage to get your hands on you, it’s game over.”

No. No, no, this can’t be happening. He can’t possibly be suggesting what you think he is.

He can’t be turning into what Mr. Takashi currently is. he just can’t.

“Touya, I can’t leave without you.” You start, quickly cutting him off as you see him open his mouth to protest. “I just moved here. I don’t have any family in the area, and I don’t know anybody else aside from you and my roommate, and she never came home, so you’re all I have now.”

You hate that your voice cracks at the end, but it’s true: you don’t have anybody else, and if he kicks you out now, then you’ll truly be alone.

You don’t know what’s scarier: the potential horde of crazed lunatics waiting for you outside, or the crushing loneliness of being by yourself in an uncertain world.

You’re not sure if you want to find out.

“I’m not going to tell you again: you need to leave.” Touya urges you as he thrusts the keys back into your hand, closing your fingers around them. “Shizuoka Prefecture, that’s where you need to go. My house is logged into the nav, just follow the directions and you’ll get there. My family will recognize my car. You’ll just need to explain to them why I’m not there—”

“Touya I’m not going.” You tell him firmly, setting his keys down on the counter next to you. “No one was prepared for this to happen. Not you, not me, nobody. Even if I do make it out of the building, I’m not going to last long on my own.”

“If you stay here with me, there’s a good chance that you won’t make it at all.” Touya warns with a breathy laugh, but you can see that he’s fighting back a grimace. His hand moves to cover his wound, but his movements are slow and shaky. If you focus on his eyes, you can just start to make out a familiar haze starting to cover his brilliant blue irises.

Fuck.

He’s sick. Not as sick as Mr. Takashi was, but you’re certain that he’s got whatever he had. Realistically, you know that he’s right and you should leave, put as much distance between yourself and him as you possibly can, but where would you go? Even if you made it to Touya’s childhood home, there’s no guarantee that his family would help you, not that you’d blame them. You’re as good as dead if you leave.

Granted, you might be screwed if you stay here with him, but…

“At least I’m with someone who I know.” You point out gently. “If the world really is going to hell, I’d much rather spend whatever time I have left with someone who isn’t a total stranger.”

Touya falls silent. For once, he doesn’t have a retort for you. Finally, he shrugs in defeat and slides down the wall closest to him, seemingly not having the strength to hold himself up any longer.

You try not to stare at the dark red streak he leaves on the wall behind him.

“If you wanna stay, be my guest, but if I do end up turning into one of those things, do me a favour and put me out of my misery, won’t you, Doll? Wouldn’t wanna rip your pretty face off.”

You want to laugh. The situation is so absurd. You think you may have tried, but a choked sob is the only thing that comes out of your mouth.

You’re dangerously close to the brink of tears, but you don’t want to cry in front of your clearly sick neighbor, knowing that your tears aren’t going to help anything. Touya, despite it all, is still as annoyingly preceptive as ever. He sighs heavily and pats the spot next to him.

“C’mere Princess, sit down before you have an aneurism.”

You cross over and slide down the wall so you’re sitting down next to him. Next thing you know, Touya drapes a heavy arm around you and pulls you into his side. “It’s okay.” He tells you in his gravely voice, even though you know it isn’t. “It ain’t your fault. Just… sit with me for a little bit, yeah?”

Of course, you would, you wouldn’t deny him that. You don’t think you’re in the right to deny him anything right now. You feel oddly indebted to him.

This was the first time that you actually got to hang out with your ridiculously attractive neighbor since moving here, why did it have to be when the world was going to shit?

“It’s not fair.” You mutter into his side, feeling like a small child. “I wish I could have met you at a better time.”

“Naw Doll, you met me at the perfect time.”

This time you can’t stop the tears you feel threatening to overflow, and they pour down your face silently as Touya holds you against him.

You don’t know how long you stay with him like that for, but you gradually hear the hallways outside Touya’s door become louder, as the stagnate air fills with the sounds of the undead. At the same time, you listen as your tattooed companion’s breathing becomes more and more labored with each passing minute.

You know what’s happening. He sounds eerily similar to how Mr. Takashi did in your apartment before he turned on you. You know you should move away from him, but you can’t bring yourself to leave his side.

He hasn’t said anything to you, but judging by the way he’s still tightly gripping onto your side, despite getting progressively weaker as time drags on, your presence is comforting to him.

You want to say something, anything, to bring him some small measure of comfort, but you regretfully don’t know him well enough to do so. Instead, you ask him the question that has been on your mind since your initial conversation with him earlier that afternoon.

“You never did tell me what your natural hair colour is.” You croak. Touya manages to wheeze out a laugh and presses a light kiss to your temple.

“White.” He murmurs softly in your ear. “It’s white.”

His chest rises and falls one more time before stilling, and your neighbor is gone.

You don’t know how long you stay there for. A part of you can’t fully accept that he’s gone, even as the arm around you grows heavy and limp, sliding down your back until it reaches the floor behind you with a muffled thud.

You feel hot, wet tears slide down your cheeks as Touya’s head lolls to the side, exposing the deep, ugly gashes in his shoulder. They’ve grown darker in colour, and the smell of meat on the verge of going rotten fills the air. It’s only when you can’t stand the smell anymore do you finally get up from your spot on the ground, but you don’t move far from him, you can’t. You don’t want to leave him like this, it’s not right.

You know that you shouldn’t stay here. You should grab his keys, and try your luck at reaching his car before your spotted by whatever’s lurking out in the hallways, or worse, before your neighbor potentially comes back as one of those… things.

But you don’t move from your spot. You run over all the possible variables in your head, and you come to the conclusion that regardless of whether you stay or go, you’re fucked.

You have no family close to your location that you could stay with, no friends either. You had let your roommate use your car tonight to get to work, and your doubtful that you’ll ever see it or her again after tonight, and even if you took Touya’s keys and tried to make it down to the ground floor to escape using his car, you have no idea how many of those creatures are out there waiting for you.

By the amount sounds you keep hearing outside the door, you can assume that it’s a lot.

You eye Touya’s keys. They’re still laying in the same spot on his counter, but you don’t make a move for them. What’s the point.

He told you to get to his family’s house in the country, but considering how the phones aren’t working, you’re not sure if his car’s navigation system would work either. Even if it did, and you were somehow able to make it to his car without getting attacked or bitten by the hordes of possibly infected people out there, there’s no guarantee that his family would help you. You wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t.

If you stayed here, you were fucked. If you left, you were definitely fucked.

Either way, you were going to lose, so you might as well pick the slightly less shitty option.

If you were going to die, then you were going to at least chose how, or rather, who was going to take you out.

So, you lean yourself up against the wall opposite to Toyua’s slumped over form, and wait.

You’re not sure how much time has elapsed, but a slight movement from Touya’s hunched over form draws your full attention to him. You watch as his arm, the one that was previously draped around your shoulders, jerks out at an odd angle, his fingers flexing and extending slowly. His legs twitch sporadically, almost as if something is shocking him, and a low growl emits out of his throat, deep and inhuman. Slowly, his head lifts from its crumpled position, and you watch as blurry turquoise eyes slowly lift upwards until they focus on your own.

They’re Touya’s eyes, but there’s no life behind them. He’s gone. This is just a hollow corpse that looks like him.

For a brief moment, you think about the set of knifes that are packed in one of the bags next to you. You contemplate about reaching for them, but you decide against it. You don’t think you could do it anyways, even though you know the creature that’s eyeing you up isn’t Touya.

You watch with silent tears pooling in your eyes, as the creature’s mouth pulls into a snarl, and forces’ himself up off the floor on unsteady legs. He shuffles over to you slowly and for every step he advances, you take one step back, until your back hit’s the opposite wall and there’s nowhere else for you to go.

He reaches for you and you slap his hand away with a sob. This creature may be your death, but you weren’t going to make it easy for him. If he wanted your life, he’d have to earn it.

Suddenly, one of the last things that Touya said to you before he succumbed to the sickness crosses your mind as the creature slowly advances on you. He never wanted to turn into one of these things. Hell, he even asked you to take him out if he turned.

You swallow shakily. You don’t want to. You really don’t want to… but now… you might not have a choice. Regardless of what happened to you, you won’t leave Touya as he was now. You’d honor his last request to you. Even if it ended up costing you your life.

The imposter reaches for you again, this time with both hands, and you shove him back with an angry snarl as fresh tears begin to run down your face.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s just not fucking fair.

A glint of light reflecting off the countertop catches your eye. Touya’s car keys are sitting innocently at the end of the countertop near where you’re pressed up against the wall. Due to your earlier hesitation, you won’t be able to grab the knives packed away in the bag before he’s on you, however Touya has numerous keys on his lanyard, some of them look quite sharp…

You twist to the side just as the creature reaches for you again. You duck under his outstretched arms and grab the lanyard, fisting the keys tightly in you hand as you try and keep your distance from the aggressive corpse that Touya has become.

An irritated rumble pulls from the imposters intricately tattooed throat, before he suddenly swings his whole body towards you and slams you up against the closest wall, knocking the wind out of you. He grabs your arms before you can recover, pinning them to your sides with a strength that you didn’t expect from a walking corpse.

You squirm and thrash, trying to claw at him, but in the end, you know it’s futile. You resigned yourself to this fate when you chose to stay with him despite knowing the outcome. At least you’ll die at the hands of someone you know. Not out there, alone and scared.

You cry out in pain as Touya sinks his teeth into the junction of your neck and shoulder, tearing through skin and muscle as his canines sink in deep, locking him to you. You feel blood gush out from the puncture wounds his teeth have made in your shoulder, and run down your torso, staining your shirt crimson. His arms are still pinning yours to your sides, trapping you in some kind of death embrace, as you feel the strength slowly start to leave your body. The sickness that took him, already taking hold inside your body.

You feel your mind start to go fuzzy and your vision start to swim. You can’t tell if it’s from blood loss or the infection itself. In one last ditch effort to bring some measure of comfort to yourself, you weakly raise your arms up so you’re gripping Touya’s biceps in a mock embrace. You feel him growl into your shoulder, and his hold on you relaxes slightly.

You don’t hesitate.

With a strangled scream you rip the arm holding Touya’s keys out of his hold, and drive them into his neck. You hear Touya let out a choked sound of surprise as the keys pierce his jugular, and he retracts his teeth out of your shoulder, tearing the delicate flesh, leaving deep gouges behind in his wake.

He backs away from you, clawing at the keys that are buried deep in his neck, and you swear you see the fog in his eyes clear for a moment as he looks at you, gasping for air as blood fills his lungs. He falls to his knees, one hand extended out towards you, the other still clutching at the keys in his neck, before toppling over. He twitches, once, twice, and then he is still.

You let out a shuddering breath as you cover the gaping wound on your neck with your opposite hand. Blood is still pouring down your arm and chest, and you know that you probably don’t have long to live. You feel tears pool in your eyes as you stare down at Touya’s unmoving form.

“I’m sorry.” You gasp out as you feel the strength in your legs leave you, and you collapse to your knees next to him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to. I’m so sorry!”

You feel your vision start to swim and you gingerly ease yourself onto your side so you’re lying next to him, placing your bloodied hand in his outstretched one. The last thing you remember seeing before the darkness takes you, is Touya’s cloudy turquoise eyes, fixed unblinkingly on your dying form, and then everything fades to black.

                                                        FIN

[magz]

(Alternatively: march 11 to 17, 2024 week summary for palestine on instagram)

March 15 to March 19, 2024 Palestine Summary. From "Let's Talk Palestine" (instagram broadcast channel). Quote,

March 15, 2024.

Day 161

• UNICEF: 1 in 3 children (31%) under the age of 2 in northern Gaza suffer from acute malnutrition, an escalation from 15.6% in January

• 149 Palestinians killed, 300 injured in Gaza in the past 24 hours

• Netanyahu dismisses Hamas’s ceasefire proposal, despite US stating that it is “within the bounds” of what was discussed + announces war cabinet approved plans for Rafah ground invasion. Israel continues to send mixed signals as they are also set to send delegates for truce talks in Qatar

⚖️ ICJ to begin hearings in early April on Nicaragua’s case against Germany for complicity in genocide in Gaza, per Nicaragua’s request for emergency rulings

🇦🇺 Australia to resume UNRWA funding of $6 million, following internal determination that “UNRWA is not a terrorist organization” despite Israel’s accusations

🔻 Hamas claims 4 Israeli soldiers killed in central Gaza + ground fighting continues in Khan Younis (south Gaza) & targeting of an Israeli armored troop carrier and tank

March 16, 2024.

🗞️ The Palestinian Authority (PA) Prime Minister and his cabinet resigned on Feb 26, while PA President Abbas will stay; a move towards a post-genocide plan to create a ‘unity’ PA gov’t across West Bank & Gaza.

Set up in the 90s, the PA operates as a subcontractor of Israel’s occupation, lessening its financial and political burdens. Today, PA is controlled by Abbas’s US-backed Fatah party, after Gaza split from its control under Hamas in 2007.

Since Oct, US has pushed for Gaza’s return to the governance of a reformed PA, but without elections, as Fatah would likely lose. Rather Abbas claims he’ll appoint a “technocratic government of officials & experts”. He chose a new PM 2 days ago.

But the rhetoric of “Palestinian unity” covers up the plan’s dismissal of popular demands for representative leadership. Palestinians doubt the reforms, overwhelmingly demanding the PA’s dissolution, Abbas’ resignation & PLO elections.

👩‍🏫 Confused about the PA? Read our post: tinyurl.com/4yhr7k67

Day 162

• 1st aid shipment departing Cyprus arrived in Gaza yesterday carrying 200 tons of food, marking 1st Gaza sea shipment since 2005 + planned 2nd ship coordinated by US, UAE, Spain & Japan; but unclear on distribution of aid across Gaza

• Massacre in central Gaza as Israel destroys home, killing 36 Palestinians, incl. kids & pregnant women

🔻 Senior Hamas & Houthi officials hold rare meeting to discuss coordinated action against an Israeli Rafah ground invasion

• Israeli settlers attack homes in Nablus (West Bank), throwing stones & shooting the air + 20 Palestinians abducted in West Bank, incl. some released in Nov. hostage exchange deal

•⁠ ⁠Palestinian Authority (PA) president Abbas accuses Hamas of causing “return of Israeli occupation of Gaza”, essentially blaming Hamas for the ongoing genocide. Was prompted by Hamas criticism of ‘unilateral’ appointment of new PM of the PA (see our last broadcast)

• 63 Palestinians killed, 112 injured in Gaza in past 24 hours

March 17, 2024:

Day 163

🇺🇸⁠ NBC: Biden frustrated over drop in poll numbers in swing states Michigan & Georgia due to his handling of Gaza genocide. Shouting and swearing in a White House meeting, saying he’s doing what is right

•⁠ 19 aid trucks arrive in north Gaza — first convoys to reach the north without incident in 4 months. But aid remains scarce as Israel keeps blocking entry of aid as trucks pile outside Rafah crossing + rate of malnutrition among children under 2 in north doubles in past month

•⁠ 14th Palestinian dies since Oct 7 in Israeli prison following multiple allegations of extreme abusive conditions for Palestinian hostages

🇪🇺⁠ ⁠EU President condemns an Israeli Rafah invasion, joining countless nations to do so like the US & Arab countries

•⁠ Israeli forces abduct 25 Palestinians, incl. a woman with cancer from Gaza & a child in overnight raids in West Bank

•⁠ ⁠92 Palestinians killed, 130 injured in Gaza in past 24 hours

March 18, 2024

Day 164

🚨⁠ Israeli forces raid al-Shifa Hospital, where 30,000 Palestinians are sheltering, shooting snipers at those fleeing despite ordering an evacuation. Al-Shifa has regained minimal functionality since Nov seige, but now unable to treat the injured due to siege. 200+ civilians abducted, incl. Al Jazeera journalist Ismail al-Ghoul & his crew — stripped, blindfolded & taken to unknown location, reporting abuse & beatings

•⁠ 81 Palestinians killed, 116 injured in Gaza in past 24 hours

•⁠ Integrated Food Security Phase Classification (IPC): Famine imminent, expected in north Gaza by May as 70% of its population subject to “catastrophic” starvation; while famine in Khan Yunis, Rafah & Deir Balah by July

•⁠ ⁠Israel recaptures Rawda Abu Ajmiyeh, previously released in Nov hostage exchange deal; 13 Palestinians recaptured, a clear violation of the deal

•⁠ West Bank: 300 homes demolished + 1,640 Palestinians displaced since Oct 7

🇪🇺 EU announces plans to sanction Israeli settlers

👆 Graphic from IPC report on the levels of starvation and food insecurity in Gaza. On the left: current levels of food insecurity in Gaza; on the right: projected food insecurity levels by July

March 19, 2024

📣 We’ve just launched a dedicated page to fundraising for Gazans via our linktr.ee/fundsforgaza initiative. We’ve already facilitated tens of thousands of dollars in donations in the past weeks to families in Gaza.

The people we’re helping fundraise for are not numbers. This is a matter of life or death for people with dreams, passions, and stories like you.

Follow the new page @ fundsforgaza (instagram) to get updates on the fundraisers, share content with others to help fundraisers, and support people in Gaza ❤️🇵🇸

Https://instagram.com/fundsforgaza

[sequinsmile-x]

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Sixty Six

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi besties <3

As always, the love for this version of them means the entire world. You're probably going to yell at me for this one too...and again, I deserve it.

-x-

Words: 2.1k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

He still wasn’t used to the heat. The humidity was almost oppressive at times, making it almost impossible to concentrate. 

Emily had told him he’d struggle, her smile teasing as she bought him linen clothes he’d frowned at, the thin and floaty material a far cry from his usual sharp-edged suits. She’d said that he’d need them, that she knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t cope with the weather in Pakistan, and she’d been right. 

Everywhere he went he pictured her, imagined her pale skin slowly tanning, her dedication to sunscreen unlike anything he’d ever known. He imagined her hair curling in the humidity, the volume she hated but he loves slowly getting out of control. She seemed at home everywhere she went, always easily adapting to her surroundings, a hangover of her childhood he knows she hates. 

He missed her. He missed his family. The short phone calls and emails he exchanged with his wife were not enough. The pictures of the kids that she would send would make him ache, guilt and irritation he could only aim inwards blooming in his gut every time. 

He’d already been here for two months, and was already closing in on the original deadline he’d given his superiors on when he’d like to go home, but he knew that they wanted him here longer. Any conversation he had about him leaving, about the handover he’d already written up, was skirted around, his boss waving him off like they had months to go. 

He just wanted to go home, to kiss his wife, to hug his children. And he was close to just doing it anyway, consequences be damned. 

He blows out a breath when he hears his satellite phone ring and he lifts it from its holster on his belt, pulling up the antenna as he answers it, “Hotchner.” 

“Hotch, it’s JJ.” 

His heart drops into his stomach the moment he hears her voice, worst-case stealing the breath from his lungs. No one other than Emily had called him since he’d come here, the number was need to know, but he knew his wife had given it to her friend for emergencies. 

“JJ, what’s wrong?” He demands, his grip on the phone tight, his jaw clenched as he tries to reason with himself, trying to assure himself that he’s overreacting. 

JJ sighs, her voice soft, almost too kind as it comes down the line, “It’s Emily. There’s been an accident.” 

___

Two Days Earlier

Emily carefully pulls the door to the nursery shut behind her, grateful when she’s met with silence afterwards, Lily having finally fallen asleep. 

She yawns as she walks down the hall and towards the stairs, rolling her neck as she goes. Once she gets to the living room she frowns when Jack isn’t where she’d left him when she took Lily to bed, the TV paused on the movie she’d put on for him and his toys abandoned. 

She feels a moment of panic flash through her, the reality of balancing two young children by herself something she felt like she was constantly failing at. Before Aaron left for Pakistan, they’d take it in turns putting Lily to bed. When it was her turn, Aaron would make her a snack, a habit that had stuck from when she was still breastfeeding, and he’d watch a cartoon with Jack. When it was Aaron’s turn to put Lily to bed, Emily would snuggle with the little boy, her arm wrapped around him as she made sure he got some of her undivided attention. 

She missed having a partner in all of this, the reality of doing this herself wearing her down, her patience for her husband’s absence almost non-existent. She wanted him home, wanted to go back in time and tell herself to not let him go, to have him quit rather than deal with this. 

She knew she could cope without him, she had done for years before they met, but she didn’t want to. She loved having him with her, having his reassurance and love as her cornerstones, her already strong foundations she’d built alone made stronger by him, by their family. By the life they were building together. 

She had no interest in living life without him. 

“Jack,” she calls out, turning and leaving the living room as she looks for her stepson, “Where are you?” 

“In the kitchen,” he replies, and she frowns curiously as she follows his voice, relief washing over her when he sounds unharmed.. 

“What are you doing, honey? Are you okay…” she trails off as she walks into the kitchen, surprised by what she finds. 

Jack is sitting on the counter, one of the stools from the breakfast bar he’d clearly climbed on dragged over. There's a plastic Spiderman plate next to him with a peeled banana on it, the skin abandoned on the surface behind it. The banana has been torn into chunks, and she could picture him pulling it apart with his hands, the sticky residue he’d wiped onto his shirt the only evidence she needs. 

She smiles as she walks over to him and ruffles his hair, her smile getting wider as he leans into it, “I could have made you a snack if you wanted one.” 

“It’s not for me,” he says as he frowns, looking so much like Aaron it makes her ache, “It’s for you.” 

She feels her heart clench in her chest, the love she feels for this little boy wrapped tight around it like a vice, “What have you made me a snack for?” 

He shrugs, “Daddy always makes you a snack when you take Lily to bed,” he says as if it’s obvious, like it’s not the sweetest thing anyone has done for her in a long time, “I also made you some tea.” 

She snaps her head to where he’s pointing, panic that he’d somehow used the kettle overwhelming her until she sees the cup he’s talking about next to the fridge. There was no steam coming from it, and the tea bag was floating at the bottom, no hint that it had brewed at all, and she’d put money on him having used ice water from the fridge dispenser. 

She looks back at him and pulls him into a hug, adjusting her hold on him so she can lift him, placing him on her hip as she kisses his forehead, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, something that had become even more comforting to her since Aaron had left. She saw more and more of him everyday in Jack and Lily, their facial expressions and personalities giving her flashes of her husband. Tiny pieces of him that weren’t enough. 

“That’s so sweet of you, honey,” she says, kissing the side of his head again as she picks up the plate with the banana on it, “Why don’t you hold this and I’ll get my tea,” she says and he nods, carefully taking the plate from her, “And we’ll watch that cartoon together before you go to bed and we’ll share my snack.”

He frowns at her, tilting his head at her as she walks them back to the living room, “But I made it for you.” 

She kisses his head again, hoping she hides her wavering smile in the action, his endless empathy enough to tip her over the edge when she was at her best. 

“I know, but you can’t possibly expect me to eat all of this,” she says, smiling when he nods in agreement as she settles down on the couch. 

She drinks the freezing cold, flavourless tea and eats the half-mashed banana as Jack falls asleep against her, and she thinks it’s the best snack she’s ever had in her life. 

___

She was running late. 

She curses herself as she dumps her purse on the passenger seat of her car, and she groans when she sees the time. 

“Shit,” she mumbles to herself, pulling her seatbelt on as she dials the daycares number and turns on the engine, her phone on speaker as she abandons it on the seat next to her, impatient as she waits for the call to connect as she drives out of the Quantico parking lot. 

“Sunnyside Daycare, this is Alice.” 

“Alice, hi,” Emily says, breathing a sigh of relief, “It’s Lily Hotchner’s mom. I’m so sorry, a meeting overran and I’m only just leaving work, so I’m going to be late-”

“Mrs Hotchner, it’s fine,” Alice says kindly as she cuts her off, “Lily is currently playing happily and we’re here for another couple of hours. You’re fine.” 

Emily chuckles wryly and nods to herself, pulling the car to a stop at an intersection, the red light almost mocking her as it changes just as she approaches, “Thank you,” she replies, feeling calmer, “I always feel terrible when I’m late.” 

The meeting had been with Strauss of all people. She’d pulled her into her office just before she was due to leave, an expression on her face that let Emily know there was no arguing with her. At first, Strauss had simply asked her how she was doing, enquiring about Aaron’s absence in a way that felt almost uncharacteristically kind, although Emily was sure it was because the other women missed having Aaron as a buffer between herself and Dave. 

Then the conversation had taken a turn she really hadn’t expected. They’d had an interim Unit Chief of the Counterterrorism unit since Carson had been fired, but it had always been made clear that it was temporary until they found a suitable replacement. 

Strauss had asked Emily if she’d be interested in taking over the unit, citing both her specialism in linguistics, her work ethic and her robust record at the bureau. It had taken her by surprise, wondering how the woman who had once told her she’d never advance in the FBI was now offering her a promotion over people who’d been in the team longer than she had. 

She’d left without giving Strauss an answer, citing that she’d need to talk to Aaron, whenever she was next able to, before she could make any decisions. 

“No need to feel bad, Mrs Hotchner,” Alice assures her, “Lily is adorable, so we’ll never say no to a little extra time with her.” 

Emily laughs, her eyes flicking up to the red light as it changes to amber, “She is pretty cute, even if I do say so myself,” she says, smiling when the other woman laughs, “I’ll be about 30 minutes depending on traffic.” 

“See you soon,” Alice says and the call ends as the light turns green. 

Emily starts to drive, excited to see her little girl after a strange day at work, and wondering to herself if she’d get to call Aaron that night, if she could discuss the potential step forward in her career with the person whose opinion she valued the most.

She doesn’t notice the car that runs a red light on the other intersection until a second before it hits her. Time slows down as the metal of the car groans as it crumbles, loud scraping sounds as the passenger side where the other car hit disappears, taking the force of the other driver’s speed. She tries her best to control it, her hands tight on the steering wheel as the car spins. It must last only a matter of seconds, her head hitting the dashboard as she’s flung back and forth, held tightly in place by her seatbelt. 

When the car finally stops, she feels dizzy, the shouting outside the car, onlookers running over to help, sounds out of focus. Like it’s far away, trapped behind glass as she tries to move, a sharp pain from her right shoulder pinning her in place just as much as the crumpled metal around her. She places her left hand on her forehead and winces when she feels blood, her stomach churning as she pulls back and sees the grim red pattern against her skin, sinking into her finger tips and into the cracks of her nails, the cuticles torn open from anxiety caused by the absense of her husband. 

She starts to lose consciousness, shock setting in as people start to approach her car, and the last thing she thinks of is her family.

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[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Lay All Your Love On Me

Written By: Björn Ulvaeus & Benny Andersson

Artist: ABBA

Released: 1981

Cover included: Amanda Seyfried & Dominic Cooper for Mamma Mia!, 2008

“Lay All Your Love On Me” explores the high emotions and passions that can emerge when falling in love, and documents one woman’s shift into erratic behaviors as she falls under the spell of her new lover. The song hit number one in the US dance charts in 1981, but has lasted in popularity over the years, becoming an ABBA staple. It was featured in the band’s jukebox musical (and its movie adaption), Mamma Mia, and in 2006 was named the 60th greatest dance song of all time by Slant magazine.

[Verse 1] I wasn't jealous before we met Now every woman I see is a potential threat And I'm possessive, it isn't nice You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice [Pre-Chorus] But now it isn't true Now everything is new And all I've learned has overturned I beg of you [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me [Verse 2] It was like shooting a sitting duck A little small talk, a smile, and baby, I was stuck I still don't know what you've done with me A grown-up woman should never fall so easily [Pre-Chorus] I feel a kind of fear When I don't have you near Unsatisfied, I skip my pride I beg you, dear [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me [Verse 3] I've had a few little love affairs They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce I used to think that was sensible It makes the truth even more incomprehensible [Pre-Chorus] 'Cause everything is new And everything is you And all I've learned has overturned What can I do? [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me

Demolition Lovers

Written By: Matt Pelissier, Mikey Way, Ray Toro & Gerard Way

Artist: My Chemical Romance

Released: 2002

The Demolition Lovers are the couple seen on the cover for MCR’s next album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. This song, along with much of the album, is a prequel to the story of Three Cheers… in which a man makes a deal with the devil to get his dead lover back by killing 1,000 evil men and giving the devil their souls in exchange for her. This song is most likely where the lover dies. The two “Demolition Lovers” are featured on the cover of the album.

[Verse 1] Hand in mine, into your icy blues And then I'd say to you, "We could take to the highway With this trunk of ammunition, too" I'd end my days with you, in a hail of bullets [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things We put each other through and [Verse 2] I would drive on to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running [Chorus] But this time, I mean it I'll let you know just how much you mean to me As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of everything I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold [Post-Chorus] Until the end, until this pool of blood Until this, I mean this, I mean this, until the end of [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold But this time, we'll show them We'll show them all how much we mean As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of every… [Interlude] All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this [Guitar Solo] [Bridge] As lead rains will pass on through Our phantoms forever, forever Like scarecrows that fuel this flame We're burning forever and ever Know how much I want to show you You're the only one Like a bed of roses There's a dozen reasons in this gun [Outro] And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!

[omegaverse-anthropologist]

pack

i love packs. packs are so important to my omegaverse. they’re communities, they’re friends, they’re families. fuck the nuclear family; in this omegaverse we are pack-centric

general

in an ideal situation, most people would be born into a pack. this would be the pup’s community of care. the loosest definition might be “a group of adults connected by pack bonds who engage in care for each other, and any children being raised by that group.” example pack makeups include, but are not limited to, the following:

1. A group of high school friends: Two A/O pairs, a B/O pair, a single B, and their pups.

2. A group of people who were packmates as pups, along with their mates: A/B/O triad, a single O, and a B/O pair and all of their pups.

3. A polycule of As, Bs, and Os and their pups.

4. A number of single As, Bs, and Os who have chosen to be each other’s cycle partners, and their pups.

packs tend to be made of groups of non-related adults, though in some cases (e.g. small or aging towns, instances of abuse, etc) groups of siblings or cousins may form a pack and simply avoid one another during reproductive cycles.

cycling

packmates are not obligated or expected to assist sexually during reproductive cycles, though many packmates will offer the cycling individual scented clothes or comfort items, food, or non-sexual comfort, especially in situations where the cycling individual’s mate may be absent.

when a cycling individual is unmated, their mate is absent, or they are unprepared, the pack is expected to provide non-sexual care (e.g. cooking/cleaning for them, offering nest companionship or cuddles when requested). it is perfectly acceptable for the pack to provide this care even when the mate is present. alleviating the burden on a cycling individual and their chosen partner is an act of pack care.

pups

packmates raise pups together. often, pups will refer to their non-parent adult packmates as ‘auntie,’ ‘uncle,’ or other similar terms. ideally, if packs do not share a home, they live near enough to one another that pups can safely travel between pack homes. when this is not possible, packmates escort pups to and from pack houses. packmates are listed on school documentation so that pups’ trusted adults can pick them up from school or make decisions on their parents’ behalf in case of emergency.

pups may refer to other pups in the pack as pack-siblings, cousins, or packmates. older pups tend to gravitate toward calling the other pups packmates, as it sounds more mature.

forming packs

after an individual has experienced their first full cycle, they may feel an increased drive to establish their own pack apart from their pack of origin. they may spend more time at friends’ homes and establish scent bonds with close friends. this can be a difficult transition for all parties involved. parents and packmates want to keep their pup close or may become despondent at ‘losing’ their pups, while young adults may feel stifled by overbearing or possessive packs of origin.

it’s common to see scent-bonded teenage packs spending time together in public. they aren’t afforded the same legal rights as adult packs, but in cases where emergencies occur (e.g. an accident or injury involving one scent-bonded packmate), leeway may be granted for access to things like hospital visits or school absences.

adult packs are created through the exchange of pack bites, generally a bite to the wrist from another pack member. historically, they were given by a pack’s dominant alpha, but this was a ceremonial restriction only. packs may be legally recognized with a document called a roster, which serves as a record of pack membership.

legal

adult packs have legal rights—the pack roster may be registered for ease of:

childcare (e.g., signing pups out of school early, accompanying them to medical appointments in a parent’s stead)

property ownership (e.g., a pack purchasing land or a house)

medical care (e.g., access to a hospitalized packmate’s room outside of visiting hours)

not all packs choose to formalize their membership, just as not all couples choose to become legally married. packs who do not hold a roster are still packs, and they provide all the social and emotional benefits of a pack but do not have a rostered pack’s legal privileges.