#they fuckin ATE omfg

[vividbeateater]

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

🪓 Nerdy Prudes Must Die - Some Thoughts 🪓

I decided to rewatch NPMD (second day in a row 🙈) and wanted to write down some random thoughts and reactions because why the fuck not 😌

‼️ SPOILERS FOR NPMD BELOW ‼️

I loved this show from the second it started omg I love things about murder 🤭

“Riiiiichie… Riiiiiichie…” — kind of gave off IT vibes ngl

They really killed off Jon Matteson’s nerd character in the first 35 seconds 💀

“They twisted his nipples off 🤣” - WHY WAS HE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT

THE PROJECTION OF THE TITLE IN THE VICTIM’S BLOOD, STARKID HAD HELLA BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW 🙌🏻

“🎵I’m dead…the blood is arbitrating from my head🎵” needs to become a trending TikTok sound or something oh my fucking gOD

LAUREN YOU QUEEN 🙌🏻👏🏻 also living for that fucking wig

MARIAHHHHHHH 🎵❤️

Definitely felt the “High School is Killin’ Me” “I’m so fucking dead” in my soul even though I’m a full ass adult now

“I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problematic puppy” ROFL OMFG

Joey as Peter Spankoffski 😭👏🏻

ANGELA AS GRACE CHASITY HELL FUCKIN YEAH SHE IS EATING THIS PART UP

We all knew someone at school who snitched to the teachers lbh 💀

“So you don’t wanna be bullied?” “No, I wanna be invisible.” “…then why do you come to public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bow tie?” - PLEAAAASE 💀🤣

MICRO-PETER 😂💀

Joey taking off his glasses and going “oh god” under his breath, “IT’S NOT ACTUALLY A MICROPENIS”… oh he ATE the role, R*bert who?!?

“My titties are tenderised” - I MEAN SAME BUT-?!?

“I didn’t know you were funny.” “Neither did I.” “I like funny guys.” — I AM SORRY BUT IM ALREADY SHIPPING HARD

Actually obsessed with Richie’s hair and outfit like I can’t explain it other than I’m obsessed

IT’S MAX JÄGERMAN

“Ohh well there’s a difference between intent and impact - I learnt that at an anti bullying assembly last month, FUCK NUGGET” took me off guard tbh like I know I’m tired and easily surprised but still 🤭

GRACE CHASITY PROTESTING THE CO-ED HOMECOMING DANCE I CANNOT-

Jägerman is literally the archetype of the school bully jock who peaked in high school like omg but also he’s into Grace?!?!

“I run laps in the gym and I don’t want to slip on any SPUNK” - FUCKING HELL

“Can I carry your books for you?” “Carry my books? 🤢 I don’t think either of us are ready for that, I mean we’re only 18!”

“My little dirty girl.” — 😳😲😮‍💨

“I am only one man’s girl, Max, and his name is Jesus Christ!” — IM FUCKING HOWLING ANGELA KILLED THE DELIVERY OF THAT LINE I CANT-

“I’m a literal monster!” - oh so Max is self aware then 🤔

“This is politics, Stephanie 🙄 learn to multitask!”

I love that Starkid keep casting Corey as Mariah’s dad?!?

Stephanie is apparently her father’s “October surprise”… so her birthday is in October, like Hannah Foster’s? 🤔

“Stephanie, please, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you - in other words, shut up” - DAMN WHAT A BURN

NOOO NOT HER PHONE 😰 (I am also addicted to my phone so I get it lol)

NOT STEPHANIE THROWING HER HAND BETWEEN HER PHONE AND THE HAMMER OMFG (same though)

Mayor Lauter really said “I don’t give a shit if you lie, steal or cheat to get your grades up, just don’t get caught” - spoken like a true politician

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?!?” probably should not have resonated with me like it did 🤭

Peter trying to make a joke and Richie and Ruth not getting it is so relatable tbh

I’m obsessed with Ruth’s mushroom jumper tbh

“I just want someone to touch me… anyone, PLEASE” — ROFL (same girl)

“What was it like when she touched your arm?… DID YOU CUM?!?” — 💀💀💀💀

“You and Steph, it’s a fantasy - like a boy and his anime love pillows. It’s a beautiful dream, but I’ll never hold the real Rei or Asuka in my arms.” — I AM PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

“I’m such a loser, telemarketers hang up on me” 💀😭

DID RICHIE JUST FUCKING SAY “NANI!” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHOW 🤣

Richie and Ruth climbing Pete like a tree and demanding to know what Stephanie is saying is so ridiculously funny 😆

“Really, Ruth? A Star Wars analogy? Need I go into why Attack on Titan is superior in every possible way?” — STARKID UNDERSTAND THE NERDS I LOVE IT

“You’re telling me I gotta be funny again?!? I didn’t do it on purpose the first time!”

“Pete, you’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity - someone’s willing to tolerate your presence for a whole evening! This may never happen again!” — damn wish that would happen to me 😭🙈

Not Pete getting a boner during “Cool as I think I am” 🙈

Nooooo not Max finding Pete before he could go into the restaurant to meet Stephanie 😭

“I’m sick of your ssshhhhit!” — YES PETEY STAND UP TO HIM

The fact Max said “Rendezvous” as “Randay-Voose” 💀

The way it transitioned from “say your prayers” to the Chasity family going “AMEN” was PERFECTION

Grace’s father referring to his wife as “mother” is…something 💀

“He came up to me in the hallway and he asked if he could carry my books.” “Oh, Mark - I didn’t know that sort of thing happened at Hatchetfield High! Do you think you should call the boy’s father?” — ?!?!?!

“Mom, will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? (Chuckles nervously) I just want some head and butter. BREAD! Bread! Bread and butt-sex to go with this big shaft of meat I’m gonna choke down. Oh boy…oh criminy!” - THE SCREECH I GAVE WAS UNHOLY

“I’ve just got some butterflies in my tummy; and they’re flying REAL low today” 😭💀🙈

GRACE FANTASISING ABOUT MAX IN THE BATH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

“Brewing up a big ol’ pot of dirty girl soup” - ABSOLUTELY NOT 💀

HES FUCKING SHIRTLESS WHAT THE FUCK-

“Everyone’s got their secrets, and this one’s mine. I love… Jesus! 😃” - this was when I definitely knew she was fantasising because ain’t no fucking way-

WAS THE DIRTY GIRL SONG SUPPOSED TO BE VIEWED AS HOT BECAUSE I AM VERY FLUSTERED AND CONFUSED AND TOTALLY VIBING WITH THE TUNE

🎵 DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON’T YOU PRAY FOR ME🎵

You see, if Christian parents didn’t repress their teenager’s hormones and sexuality then MAYBE their teenagers wouldn’t resort to murder 🙃

Grace’s dad saying he’s going to get the plunger when she said she was doing a big poop 😭💀

Grace really thinks that impure thoughts only happen after marriage and I almost envy her innocence

“Money isn’t everything… looks are.” - yeah no that about sums people up in this day and age 😑

“We thought you were waifu material, but you’re just a bully” — NOT WAIFU MATERIAL 💀

PETE’S BLACK EYE NOOOO 😭🥺

Grace is kind of a psychopath and I’m loving that for her tbh

“I’m not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language” but she’s comfortable with filming someone getting terrified and pissing their pants 💀

The “the place is not structurally sound” comment was DEFINITELY foreshadowing

“I get pus in my pits!” Jesus ☠️

🎵🤌🏻we’re gonna bully the bully🤌🏻🎵

“We’re gonna cut off his nips!” - what is with the obsession with n!pples in this show 😳

I’M SORRY BUT THIS IS ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT KEEPING THE BEANS COOL

“You’re like super nice to me 😀” “…not really. I’m just doing the bare minimum here.” “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” “Oh, that’s sad!” — 😂😅🤣

“Okay, Richie, be honest… Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda” — OH FUCKING GOD IM CACKLING

“You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown” 💀 FOURTH WALL BREAK?!?

Max must be VERY drunk because ain’t no way he thought Pete was a ghost or Ruth was actually a skeleton 💀

“Grace, we gotta abort the plan, it’s not working!” “It’s working for me, he’s so violent! 😍”

Not Max actually being touched by them putting this whole thing together for him 💀 very much giving off himbo vibes and I love him for that

MAX FELL THREE STOREYS

Oh my GOD THE FUCKING MAKE UP ON MAX FOR HIS DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT

“NERDY! PRUDES! MUST! DIE!” — oh hey it’s the name of the show! 😃 And also it was written on the wall in… oh 😳

“I did get a lot of incriminating footage of us luring him here with malicious intent!” - uh oh

“My god! We’re going to jail! And with my luck, no one will even bother making me their bitch!” — PLEASE 💀

“It wasn’t murder, and it wasn’t an accident… it was an act of God! 😇” - Grace is UNHINGED

“No more tickling in our mommy spots!” - OUR WHAT SPOTS?!?

“🎵🤌🏻 We’re gonna bury the body! 🤌🏻🎵”

“Oh no she’s snapping again”

“I just cut off his nips 😌” - again with the nips?!?

DAN AND DONNA 😃😃😃

“Two weeks of heartache” - cut to all of his classmates happy without his influence 💀

STEPH PASSED THE TEST! 😃

“Ya know, this is really your C+.” “Oh Steph… you can keep it. It’d really bring down my GPA.”

Steph asking Pete out to the football game 🥹😁 we love to see it!

GO GO NIGHTHAWKS! 😃🦅 (I know it’s an eagle emoji there’s no hawk emoji 🙈)

“N, I-G, H-T… *squawk squawk* Ks!” 👏🏻🙌🏻

Richie is the team mascot and they wanted/needed him in the huddle 🥹

They apologised for bullying him 😭👏🏻

“And we’d like to apologise in advance for if Max ever comes back, ‘cause we’ll probably go right back to doing it”

“Fuck Clivesdale! Fuck ‘em straight to hell! Assholes!” — AGREED! 👏🏻

I’m 90% sure Jon actually struggled with taking that mascot top off but it worked well with the scene so 😌

“I love being alive! 😃” — oh he’s so about to fucking die, isn’t he?

IT’S MAX CALLING FOR RICHIE HES BACK FROM THE DEAD

MAX’S COSTUME/MAKE UP IS AMAZING OH MY GOD 😌💅🏻

“Should’ve joined the smoke club you nerdy prude” — ANOTHER SMOKE CLUB REFERENCE

Every song on this soundtrack fucking slaps I LOVE IT

There’s not very many men that can pull off being absolutely absolutely fucking terrifying while dancing and singing across the stage but Will Branner managed it so kudos to him

The bit where Richie was repeating what Max said (“who will pray for me? When I’m gone?”) was INSANELY GOOD

“What did they find? You don’t say…you don’t say!” “What’d they find, dad?” “They didn’t say” - 💀

“Oh heck… I’m so hecking fudged”

“*relieved* Oh well we don’t know anything about that one!” “Or ANY one!”

“Maybe it’s a coincidence. People tell me to die every day!” — Okay why is Ruth kind of me 😭

THE FUCKING CAMEOS IN “HATCHET TOWN” ASDFGHJKL?!?! ZIGGY?! MAN IN A HURRY?!? GERALD MONROE?!?

“Ohhh I remember before the lockdown” - yeah me too 😅

THE BARBECUE MONOLOGUES GOT ME HOLLERING 💀

Ruth walking onto the stage and into the spotlight 🥺 literally she was me this whole scene omg I relate so hard to most of what she said ASDFGHJKL

Lauren ATE that song up by the way

MAX KILLED HER BY WEDGIE-ING HER IN TWO AND THEN PUT THE PANTS OVER HER HEAD WHAT THE FUCK MAX 😭

Him telling her to “project” so those in the back row could hear her triggered me so bad as an actor omg 😳

Grace really accusing the entirety of Clivesdale 💀

As soon as the WWJD bracelet was brought up I KNEW what was going on 😭

“Who’s plan was it, Grace?” “It was God’s plan! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! Do something, you son of a bitch!” 💀😅🤣

Grace has lost her fucking SHIT and I fully support that for her

“Show Me Your Hands” musical refrain?!

BEANIES?!? PAUL AND EMMA?!? 😭😭😭 ITS FUCKING PAUL AND EMMA I CANNOT-

“Cup of roasted coffee” refrain too?!?

PAUL GAVE EMMA HIS NUMBER 😭❤️

PAUL + EMMA IN EVERY SINGLE TIMELINE, EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSE-

“EXCUSE ME I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND I STILL HAVE NOT RECIEVED MY GODDAMN HOT CHOCOLATE” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂 I FUCKKING CANT IM DONE

🎵”Don’t need a lover boy need a lover man / sure I’m a sapiosexual and you’re intellectual but I’ll cut my lover losses when I can” 🎵 — this song goes so hard omg

Grace pushing between them and shouting “leave room for Jesus!” 💀

“Do we need to get ahold of Ruth?” “Good luck getting ahold of her. Does your phone pls cover calls to hell?” “…Hell?” “She’s bisexual and dead, where else would she be?!?” — 💀

Grace whipping out the gun and telling Steph to cool her beans was so iconic of her

“(Canadian accent) ‘Cause if I’m going down, you hosers comin’ with me, eh” — OH MY FUCKING GOD

Doesn’t shock me a cop would arrest Paul for zero fucking reason, fuck the police 💀

“All I wanted was to be a regular girl with no sexual desire until she was safely married 😭” the FUCK-

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fuckin’ weird” 💀

“I don’t give a shit who you kill - but you just had to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?” — Mayor Lauter really said “murder is fine but NOT in that specific house, you fucking idiots”

THE LORDS IN BLACK?!? 😃 WIGGLY AND BLINKY AND POKEY AND NIBBLY AND TINKY?!?!? FUCK YEAAAAHH

“She gave me head in her car - check it out!” *throws Miss Tessburger’s head onstage* — BRO THE FUCK

WELP I GUESS MAYOR LAUTER IS DEAD THEN?!?

“Detective Shapiro, are you a woman of faith?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no” — THE FUCK GRACE 😑

They’re really about to summon five otherworldly entities who are evil I’m-

The Summoning screams CRACK and I’m living for it

“Hello Fwendy-Wends” - SCREAMING LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING

“WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE” TOOK ME OUT ASDFGHJKL

SHE CHERISHES PETE 😭

“Pay the price or fuck off” 💀

Can I just say that I need would love a show specifically just about the Lords in Black fucking about and it’s Jon the whole time as Wiggly exactly as he was during the Summoning scene because that was AMAZING IM SHAKING-

The fact Pete cherishes Steph and she cherishes him oh my hEART 😭

“Hey Steph, if things were different, would you wanna come to homecoming with me?” “I’d like that, Pete. I’d really like that.” - SHUT THE FUCK UP NO 😭😭😭

Not Max saving Pete from being shot 💀

“So you do know the Bible!” — GRACE OMG IM SCREECHING HELP

“But Jesus never threw a football like you, Max” - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Max being confused about what dirty girl soup is and then being turned on when she explains 😭💀

“Take me, Max, right here on the 50 yard line!” — oh dear gOD

Max’s struggle over whether to kill Steph and Pete or whether to bang Grace omfg 😭😅

THE NOISES OFF STAGE OMFG WTAF 😭💀😂😅🤣

Grace got Max kicking his feet, twirling his hair, after one shag, just like a teenage girl 💀 I’m crying so hard with laughter I can’t cope with it-

GRACE GAVE HIM HER CHASTITY AND SACRIFICED WHAT SHE CHERISHED MOST ASDFGHJKL

PETE AND STEPHANIE AT HOMECOMING TOGETHER ASDFGHJKL ✨T H E M ✨

Grace choosing not to get the dance cancelled and she brought a date?!? That’s character development! 😀

She let Jason walk her home?!? O_o and then asked him to kiss her?!?!

“That was… absolutely disgusting! Really, Jason?!? Kissing on the first date?!?” Oh noooo 💀

“You’re a dirty perv, Jason”

SHES GOT THE FUCKING BLACK BOOK IS SHE SUMMONING THEM AGAIN

🎵DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE🎵

Well thIS TOOK A FUCKING TURN DAMN

Anyway, 11/10, immaculate, amazing, incredible, show-stopping, would recommend to everyone of course and will definitely be rewatching it a LOT 🪓

[mydearesthrry]

texts between y/n and h — a saga

eeeek first piece of work for aidt uni!!!! so excited <3 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

ranges from years 2012-2014, part two coming soooon !!!

2012

harry styles: Hiiii. :P

y/n: uh oh

y/n: what now

harry styles: Whaaaaat? I didnt even say anything yet!

y/n: sure but i dont like ur tone of hiiiii

y/n: u seem like ur up to no good

harry styles: What do you mean. :[

harry styles: I had good news!!!

y/n: alright bug, hit me

harry styles: I’m having a short break from tour in a little!!!! :D

y/n: bubs omg!!!!!!!!!! im so excited eeeek!!!!!!!!

y/n: we can hang out right??? im in the middle of recording the new album so u can come to the studiooooooooo

harry styles: Yessss! That’s what I was thinkinggggg. I’m so tired, I can’t wait to sleep.

y/n: i know bub, just hold out a little bit longer and you can sleep alllll you want.

harry styles: Will u cuddle me???? Lol! :P

y/n: of course. now go, u have a show soon. ily text me when ur off <3 <3 <3

harry styles: Yes ma’am. Wish me luck! :D

——

y/n: pssssttttt

harry styles: Oh hiiiiii. Whats up???

y/n: is everyone down there asleep?

harry styles: Umm, yes? Why bug?

y/n: im hungry

y/n: i want a pb&j

harry styles: Ah. Okayyyyyy give me a sec. :D

y/n: huh

y/n: harry what

y/n: oh god where did u go

y/n: HARRY WHAT WAS THAT BANGING NOISE

y/n: omfg u absolute idiot

y/n: im coming downstairs u better not be bleeding im serious

——

2013

y/n: hi

harry: hi, whats up?

y/n: ummmmmmmmm

harry: y/n…

y/n: i didnt do anything bad!!

y/n: i just accidentally ate nialls last avocado

y/n: can we go to the store and buy some so it doesnt look like i did

harry: sure, lovie.

harry: be ready in 10?

y/n: yes. ur the best i love youuuuuuu

harry: i know you do.

y/n: if he finds out can i blame it on u :)))))

harry: you will anyway

——

y/n: HARRY

harry: what???????

y/n: i miss u

y/n: im bored and im tired of singing

y/n: my poor voice hurts :(

harry: are you at the studio?

y/n: yeah :((

harry: okay, give me a sec and ill be there shortly. any food you want?

y/n: maccies? :D

harry: alright. hang in there lovie, be there soon.

y/n: kk <3333

———

2014

y/n: h :(

harry: hi

harry: whats wrong lovie

y/n: i have a fever :((((((

harry: oh nooooooo!!!!

harry: want me to come over and being remedies?

y/n: please? i cant fuckin move

harry: alright drama queen, give me 30, okay?

y/n: okay :))))

y/n: love youuuuuuu

harry: love you tooooo. :D

——

harry: hmmm

y/n: what

harry: i dont think im gonna cut my hair

y/n: FUCK

y/n: OHHHHHHHHH MY GOD

y/n: I PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THIS

harry: ???

y/n: LONG HAIR HARRY?!???????

y/n: ARE U REALLY LEAVING UR HAIR

y/n: u know everyone already calls u prince

y/n: bc it looks like u have prince hair

harry: i wont cut it, unless you want me to??

y/n: DONT

y/n: EVER LET SCISSORS NEAR UR HAIR

harry: noted, the princess does not want my hair cut! :P

y/n: <3 <3 <3

[zodiacs-web]

I never request from anyone so this is weird, but i am desperate bc theres nothing :'/

What about Qin Shi Huang with a fem!reader who kind of reminds him of his mother?

Smile/outfit/long hair (pls the long ass hair, i am a sucker for long asf hair😩)

But she is chaotic,careless,doesnt take anything seriously,laughs all the time, and flirts with everyone and everything.

(But not the submisive "blushes😳💅🏼" type, if he tries to flirt with her she'll be like "careful boy, i am ovulating😩" like a sly confident,'arrogant'(for humor purposes) strong beautiful woman who was also a fighter(¿???

Basically the: "the world could be ending, but i am going to spend my last minutes in bliss with this margarita" "he can be a psycho but he can also be really hot" "I think i just busted an ovary" "Omfg i am so hot" "Are you the EmpEror? NOBODY TOLD ME HE WAS THIS FINEEEE- CHINA TAKE ME WITH YOU"

But the similarities she has with his mother is that despite enjoying annoying people,having no morals and doing whatever she wants, her actions aren't actually damaging and she's honest and purely kind at nature(but you never get to see the kindness?)

I'm sorry, i am a very detail oriented person so i wanted to make sure i described it right, sorry if it's too much i kinda got carried away

I currently have my corrector in spanish so forgive my weird english

Have a wonderful day Queen👀❤

My Type of Queen

𖥔 Qin Shi Huang x F!Reader

𖥔 Synopsis: Chaotic reader

𖥔 What's in the web: swearing, dialogue from the ask, unedited

𖥔 A/n: I love the way you worded your request anon. You have a wonderful day as well!

𖥔 Reblogs are Appreciated!

Arrogant winds flown from the bottom of the mountain, a long day after keeping the guards grubby hands off a rich man. You spotted the nearest and familiar little cart that always housed you. Long hair swung from side to side as you finally made it to the area with your body in hazardous pain.

"What a fuckin' pain! Hey! Baldie, gimme your special!" You groaned as you sat on the flimsy wooden chair.

"Haha! (Y/n), always having a mouth against me. Anyways, how've ya been?"

"I've been doing well. But the man was loaded with riches, and YET, he tried to scam me by giving me half of what he offered. After all that help, and he does THIS!! Ugh."

"I bet he was a pain! No one can get past you with that attitude." He laughed as he passed a plate of peking roasted duck to the woman.

"Thanks, baldie!"

"You're never gonna drop that nickname, are ya?"

Giving him a signature smile, you grabbed the chopsticks and started prodding at the duck. The cut pieces shone as you moved them off the plate and into your mouth. A pleasure filled sigh left your lips as the flavors of the duck filled your senses. Suddenly, you remember something from the encounter again.

"Hey! Ya know, he also tried to flirt with me." The man before her nodded, amusing you in any way. "He got his panties in a twist when I did it back to him. Saying women shouldn't act like this. Shut up!"

The man laughed, knowing your arrogant nature was somewhat disbelieving, yet amusing. You then slowly chewed on your duck, feeling an unusual yet strong presence growing near. The sounds of those around you quickly caught your attention. They let out gasps from the sight before them.

You grabbed hold onto the shelf, that hung out of the cart, and leaned back. The view of people covering the street pissed you off like make some room, your view is more important. You leaned back into your original position and stared as the baldie prepared even more food.

That could either mean two things: 1) Somebody important was nearby or 2) there's a festival and he could get money from both. Doesn't matter. After all, his way of living was in the trash can. A giggle left your lips as you went back to feasting on your duck.

As you ate, the whispering and moaning of the crowd grew louder. Covered eyes stared in dread as your appearance quickly entered his view. You looked just like her, the hair, the outfit and smile all looked just like her.

Though some parts of you were much different yet, that didn't change anything. Of course, his curiosity got to him. Despite the fact that he was going to dine in another place that was much more rich and fancier for him, according to his advisors.

Silently, he sat down on one of the chairs next to you, eyes giving glances to you as the cover helped him hide it. Soldiers positioned themselves around him. You stared down at the duck while you saw him in your peripheral view. Slowly chewing on the soft skin before swallowing it to start a conversation.

"Who're you? And what're ya doin' causing a ruckus here?" You interrogated him all while grabbing a piece of duck and shoving it into your mouth.

"Me?" He grabbed a small menu from shelf in front of him, skimming it as he pondered. "I just wish to feast, why does my status matter?"

"You brought a town to us. Why doesn't your status matter?" You responded, body turning to face him.

You were serious, and you never got this serious so fast. There was just something about this guy who screamed, "Well, everything." But there was this curiosity too that made you want to know more about him.

"What are the soldiers here for?"

"Protection," He responded.

Your eyes glared at the man causing the soldiers to tense.

"Hey sir. I think I'd like Xiao longbao (soup dumplings)."

Baldie nodded before preparing the dumplings.

"How important are you that you need soldiers?"

"Well, as an emperor, I think all the protection I can get."

The emperor.

"You're the emperor!!!?? Ah~ I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO FINE~ HEY! HEY! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!"

Your sudden outburst caught him off guard as well as his soldiers. You acted so different, that was he expecting just a few seconds ago. The serious type that turned out to be so chaotic, yet so lovable. He just loved the energy you gave. A smile decorated his face as he relished in it.

"What makes you think I'll take you?"

"I'm hot. Don't you see?"

Baldie laughed, the emperor taking a glance before looking back at you.

"Heh. That's true. Maybe I can take you in some ways."

He smirked, head turning to face you. A grin appearing on your face.

"Oh? Careful boy,...I'm ovulating."

Of course, he was taken aback, again, by your words, you were so out there that he couldn't believe it.

"Before we go on our way, can I perhaps have your name?"

"(Y/n) (l/n). And you, pretty boy?"

"Qin Shi Huang."

[downbytheriversside]

something you think that's underrated (show, music, ship, habit, animal, absolutely anything. can be multiple/a list. go wild)

Oh get ready to be here a while here we fuckin go...

Wind. It reminds me what it's like to be alive

Matt Maltese. Sad boy music that's so so good and makes me feel so much pain and catharsis. Also a lot of his songs are byler/Mike coded. You deserve an Oscar, shoe, everyone adores you, outrun the bear (byler will pov), as the world caves in, strange time (its second or third line is literally "and we'll both gladly lose our minds LIKE!!). Also paper thin hotel is tom wambsgan's song, and tom wambsgan's alone.

Lucas GODDAMN Sinclair. Need I say more? Doesn't matter cus I'm gonna- I genuinely believe he's the best written and performed character in the whole show, he's my sweet child ray of sunshine I love him dlfkgkfdn and he would NOT be the same without what Caleb brings to the table in his performance. And since day ONE he fucking ATE I keep putting EMPHASIS on so many WORDS but I digress. I do understand the problems with some of his writing which sucks but he is still incredible and you can tell that Caleb cares so much about him which I always love to see

The oh hellos album dear wormwood. Omg. Omfg. It's fucking TRANSCENDENT. ANYONE READING THIS WHO HAS GONE THROUGH/IS GOING THROUGH A TOXIC OR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND LISTEN TO THIS IT IS SO HEALING. Not only is it cathartic asf but it depicts the anger and regret and pain and resignation and fucking every emotion under the sun that you experience in those kinds of relationships. And just how connected all of the songs are. The album itself is a loop, seriously. The last part of Thus Always to Tyrants (the final song on the album) leads right into the beginning of Prelude. And while we're on the subject of thus always to tyrants can we talk about how fucking impactful it is to end the album on that note? On a bittersweet toast to the people who hurt us because there is no getting rid of what they did, only making yourself stronger from it and healing?!!? About the notion that what they did was terrible but that is something you'll never forget because you can't but you're moving on to better things, wondering if they will change/have changed from who you knew them as?!??! ARE YOU FUCKNG KIDDING ME!!!!! AND just how connected the lyrics and melodies are in all of the songs. I've listened to the whole album easily over a hundred times and I still notice new lines that relate to each other or when bg melodies in one song are the main motif (?) of another. You can tell how much care and thought and love and emotion was put into its creation and I love it so so so much. Also if you dear reader do not want to spend 40 min listening to the album please please please just listen to Pale White Horse and Where is Your Rider. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Jesus fuck these songs. I'm just typing about them and I got chills like. I'm not joking at all when I say these songs actually changed my life. And the interconnectedness of them (sorta like a horse and its rider?) is just so special. They're whole fucking experiences to listen to and I will never get tired of it. Aaaaaaaahhh I wanna keep talking about this album but we'd be here for a long long long time but I might make a post about it if anyone was actually interested on my music blog @lyricsdumblikethelinoleumfloor at some point so. Stick around for that ?

Forehead kisses. We need more of those pls

Sincerity. For the love of the night sky. BE EARNEST! BE SINCERE!! BE GENUINE I WILL FUCKING STAB YOU-

Little thumb rubs while holding hands

My mutuals all of you deserve love and appreciation and tenderness every one of you fuckers I love you all <33333

Cucumbers. Shit fucks

LIBRARIES! Please if you can visit your local library, it'll be so lovely I prommy

Humans committing to silly bits together. And just like building off of each other's energy. One of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed and that I'm so grateful to have experienced

Introspection. For the love of fuck pleaaaase more people need this. Everyone needs to practice introspection idc just do it it's not some shameful act it just helps you grow

Peach flavoured things. They're yummy 😋

My ever growing gnome figurine collection pretty underrated imo kinda flying under the radar imho

Burger King foot lettuce

Laying on the floor and doing nothing. 10/10 activity honestly. Especially when you're in a sun spot shit fucks

And that's m'list! Glad you made it to the end, sorry for the long post

[kim-woonhak]

Hiiii I feel so mean for this but.... Lino vs Jeno 👀 NOW I FEEL GUILTY ASFSKDHDHDJ

... and for mvs Monsta X's Gambler vs Shoot Out, if you are able to handle the question after the first one 💕

lee know vs jeno YOU HAVE ME IN TEARS ELENA!!!!!! omfg i feel like this choice can switch from week to week but lately it's been jeno but honestly they both have similar qualities to me like lowkey very unpredictable, shy around strangers, huge softies for their pet cats (also jeno and his cat friend jaemin 😼 LOL), but also suuuper different i love lino's face he is so pretty and his laugh is sooo endearing he becomes a little manic in the best way possible but also lately i've been really into jeno's stage presence and performance and watching all the details he puts into his performances whether it's adjusting the texture of his voice in his raps or adding fancy finger movements to his dances etc i remember he talked about some of them on the nct show music space zoo episode and it really has seemed to pay off in Villain with key i was sooo impressed by the raspiness of his voice and the way he ate the choreo when they were promoting last weekend. and then the moment he drops his fuckin intimidating stage face my heart just melts he is so very very very very goddamn adorable (.◜◡◝)

gambler vs shoot out AHHHHHHHHHHH i could literally wax poetry about both of these songs (especially changkyun's "don't you wanna feel aliiiiive?" in gambler that part takes me OUT) but the intro to shoot out is just EVERYTHING to me!!! it's second only to beast mode (god i really want to see them live just so i can experience the beast mode intro in person...) yeah this one is so close tho i remember instantly falling in love w gambler when it came out </3 mx serious does not miss

> make me choose <

[champ-inthemaking]

<Soon a Kadabara appears holding a box that it hands over. It waits for a food tip.> -Inside the box are a set of braces that fit over the top of the hands and bind around the hands. In the center of the forearm cover it feels like there is a core of steel. The hand pieces are also revered to make punches hit with more impact and less backlash. They come with an reenforced elbow pad that allows for better use of elbows in a fight. The leg and knee pieces are much the same. They are intense pink interspersed with black pawprints on the forearms of the gauntlets.-

@prof-hemp420

[a blurry photo of, like, half of Neil's face, partially obscured by her holding her bracer-clad arm up in front of it and flipping the camera off. even with her face obscured it's clear that she's grinning her dumb little face off.]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF

SORRY I DOUBTED U OLD MAN FUCKIN LOOK AT THIS SHIT R U KIDDIN ME!!!!! omfg this is a fuckin look n a half lookit how gd pink these r holy shit. wtf this shits heavy as all fuck im gonna break someones nose w/out even fuckin tryin w these imagine how much damage im gonna do to those chucklefucks i stole killer from when i AM tryin. fingers r free in these so i can sign just fine too!!!!!

had to do this whole song n dance w the deliverydabra tho bc killer ate most of my fuckin snack supply but this shit fuckin rules so i can part w a protein bar hope it likes it

thx so much dude holy shit!!!!!!!! gonna fuck up killers old trainer xtra good just for u

[chrollohearttags]

do you know what you need a fuckin award cuz wtf your writing should not be this AAAAAHHH i can't even describe it omfg

you need your ass ate for this shit OMGGGG

IF you couldn't tell i LOVE your work

i wish you nothing but the best and PLEASE remember to take care of yourself and drink water daily

xoxo

I swear I will fucking cry right neowwww! 😭😭🥹 man, y’all are way too good to me. Thank you so very much. I’m just so happy that y’all enjoy my work and I hope I can keep putting out more for y’all. Love you fr! 🫶🏾🫶🏾

[its-morii]

I Didn't think I could Actually Love Illinois so Much- Omfg- "Sorry If You Fell In Love. They always do." As he fuckin walks away. YEAH, I ATE FUCKING DIRT NOW PLEASE DONT LEAVE SIR-

[practicalsolutions]

I am back home. Just tipsy but ate too many carbs. Brb gonna enter a fuckin coma. Omfg.

[vexednperplexed]

My dog fuckin ate my wall while I was at the movies with the hubs. And so I understandably want some time to chill without pets on top of me for a few minutes.

WELL MY SHITTY ASS KITTEN WHO IS NOT A KITTEN HES ALMOST THREE KEEPS CRYING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE HE ISNT USED TO REJECTION

I love him but omfg mommy wants to cry about the cost to fix the wall in PEACE

[verloren-ruis]

ate and fuckin regret it omfg

[idkwhats-happening]

Me as a player - *screaming*

Nadia my PC - *excited*

She’s so excited, I’m so mad she’s so excited

[kittydripuwu]

smoking weed with eren and levi

a/n: wrote these while high :p

words - 699

warnings - drugs!, some mentions of sex, minors dni

genre - ???

eren yeager

- lol he probably smokes more than u

- eren is lowkey a stoner but he won't tell u that

- he'll probably be the one to suggest smoking together

- he finds it so romantic <3

- eren's not a lightweight with weed but like a joint will be enough to get the both of you pretty fucking high

- he has a pretty chill high

- like he just feels hella relaxed and kinda just vibes wit u

- loves to play music when high

- he has the best playlists <3

- will show u so much new music n stuff

- he finds it so cute when he sees u listening to them the next day

- so fucking horny

- i swear he's always horny already so when hes high

- you're getting absolutely fucking railed <33

- loves the way you feel around him when he has u sittin on his cock <3

- he claims that "everything feels better when high"

- smh eren u dirty mf

- anyways

- after yall go on for a few rounds, yall will probs smoke more

- i mean its eren cmon

- after u do that you'll just eat snacks n then probably cuddle

- cuddles

- while listening to music

- with eren?

- amazing. fucking amazing.

- you both love the feeling of being so relaxed in eachothers arms while listening to some chill music

- if you're not too tired, yall will talk abt anything u think of

- aw and youll giggle when he says something funny

- AND he'll just kiss u to shut u up

- pls so cute

- anyways ya, eren is a fuckin cutie when high

- <33

levi ackerman

- not a stoner

- probably never smoked in his life

- so you'll have to convince him :D

- good luck w that, hes so fucking STUBBORN

- "cmon levi please, it's a fun way to relax" you'd beg

- "fine but if i hate it, its your fault"

- lol he acts so bothered but hes lowkey excited to try this with you

- you'll light up a j for the both of you

- you'll take first hits to show him how to do it

- ugh he'll watch you so carefully as you inhale and exhale the smoke

- you look so fuckin pretty obvi hes gonna look at u

- i feel like levi is closer to heavyweight w substances so

- he'll end up smoking more than u

- and he'll be so fucking baked from it

- his eyes will be all glossy n red and you'll just sit there n admire his perfect face

- "what are you looking at baby?"

- "you, levi"

- ehehehe he gonna blush

- so cute

- also horny when high

- ok not as horny as eren but like levi is ready to rearrange your guts <3

- he'll fucking love the feeling of sex when high omfg

- mm yall will probably go for like 2 rounds max before you guys get hungry

- TEAAAAAAA

- bye levi trying to make tea while high is probably so fucking funny like

- he'll probably misplace the teabag like 3 times before he acc puts it in the cup of hot water

- you'll be sitting on the countertop and just laughing at his confusion

- he'll simply kiss u to shush you <3

- after yall had tea and ate food he'll carry u back to ur room

- he'll lay you down on the bed and climb in with u moments later

- will be pretty silent tbh like he just wants to enjoy your presence

- he'll play with ur hair and rub lil circles on ur arms

- and you'll be so sleepy from that

- you're fuckin adorable when sleepy cmon

- will kiss your forehead

- basically just physical affection x100 when hes high

- he'll wanna do this again with u hehe

- wont tell u that tho n just hope u suggest it to him hehe

- we love high levi <3