#they make me feel wildly insane
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currently thinking about the way liam pulled theo to his side so they could run away from the ghost riders together. thinking about the way when theo threw him into the elevator so he could play bait. thinking of the way liam screamed NO even though he had told theo he would use him as such. thinking of the way liam held his ear against the elevator door to listen for theo’s heartbeat when he did that. thinking of the way theo said “i went through all of this to keep you from being taken.” i’m just thinking
#liam and his i hate this kid i love this kid complex#theo and his im going to protect this kid complex#they make me feel wildly insane#like really liam was like no i’m gonna use you as bait#then lost his mind when theo decided to do that#thiam#theo raeken#liam dunbar#teen wolf
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A true and 100% historically accurate account of Hamilton's first meeting with Andre
+ Bonus Lafayette
#No idea what my deal is this week#wahoo#alexander hamilton#john andre#amrev#art tag#now expand the post or these tags wont make sense#excuse me while I use these weird little sketches to vent some wildly complex feelings about American identity#theres something to be said about the way Lafayette and Hamilton express opposing views of humanity#in a way that is deeply connected to both how they view their “americanness”#and also the fact that only one of them was insanely fucking wealthy#theres cynicism born from poverty and a pervasive sense of otherness#vs a sort of naive hopefulness coming from wealth that isolated in an entirely different way#and they're brothers#I don't know what Im cooking but its something#marquis de lafayette#might as well tag him at this point#this was supposed to be a shitpost how did I get here
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when taylor swift said "please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere" and when olivia rodrigo said "you're just a stranger i know everything about"
#something about taylor writing it in fear of having that feeling and olivia writing it from a place of contentment#i don't really know where i'm going with this but i think about it every time i listen to stranger#to be clear (because too many people have accused olivia of copying people) i don't think she's copying taylor#it's just the way they're describing the same feeling but with wildly different emotions is making me go insane#taylor swift#olivia rodrigo#bryn speaks
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someone cold emailed me to ask if i was going to a writer's conference in los angeles and was putting together a panel or caucus for queer poets or if i knew anyone who was...buddy you are severely overestimating how much i network with other poets (i don't) and how often i attend writer's conferences (never) 😭
#''do you know of any other poets going'' no?? bc i hate networking with other poets????#LIKE ARE THEY LESS ANNOYING THAN WHEN I WAS 23? IDK? MAYBE?#i feel like most things these days are less annoying than when i was 23#or maybe i'm just better equipped to deal with annoying things than when i was 23#yesterday i was talking to someone about my ethos wrt a class i ran last fall and he stopped me in the middle and was like#you're amazing. that class was a hot mess and you still had fun and found the good in it#like no i'm not amazing. i'm just in my thirties and it takes a lot more than other people's mental health crises to throw me off my game#he was pretty ticked off in the fall when i told him the like depth of crisis multiple students were in bc he thought i should have told hi#i was like idk it did not occur to me to ask for help. he was like you're doing daily check ins to make sure your students are eating??#idk!! it didn't bother ME my job was just to make sure they were still alive! i mean my job was actually to teach liberation theology but#like i was not good at that. but i DO know how to be annoying until people feel less like killing themselves and more like killing me#anyway all that to say i can't wait to see how much less bothered i am in my 40s#i hope i have reached such a state of zen by age 50 that my spirit is unruffled by anything and anyone#i hope i float through life in a fine mist of okayness#someone says ''oh my god kasper my life is falling to pieces'' and i say ok 👍 we can get through this together👍#what was this post about??? oh right networking#good networking: librarians bc you just go ''is your manager batshit insane'' and they go THIS PLACE MAKES ME SUICIDAL#and then you're friends for life#bad networking: poets (when i was 23) because all they do is name drop (when i was 23) and expect you to have opinions (i don't)#this post is wildly overconfident in my zen considering i'm so bored of being unemployed that i keep looking at teamworkonline#bhawks are hiring for a social media manager btw. imagine having that kind of access to mr 🥺. i'd literally only do paid advertising#to gay men#i'm not applying bc social media management would actually break my sobriety i am pretty sure#but imagine having connor bedard at your disposal and being like ok kid. we r gonna catfish some gays into caring about the bhawks#basically what i do with the cuda blog lol#ok ok ok i'm done. posting. goodbye. livejournal mode de-activate#fresno oilers.txt
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I found you via tumblrs orbit system and you sounded kinda nervous about your ocs, so I’m gonna appear in your askbox and shout “yaaaay ocs!”
a idk if its nervousness per se and more just a combo of hope tht ppl will like+care abt them and me being awkward/not knowing what to say (but 40k ppl have been super nice ive never actually had ppl care abt my ocs before outside of my close friends ToT and they arent into 40k)
anyway. um yeah. ty tho 🥺 i rly appreciate it
#i also never make oc lore so this is a first for me so its also 'if i get any lore stuff wrong im killing myself' and thats wjhy i read#so many books beforehand lmfao#anyway.#admech is fun bt im a hardcore undead fan and my sona has been a zombie for like ~10yrs now and yea i guess im otherkin as well or whatever#so necrons jst have way more to chew on for me past just enjoying the aesthetics and broad philosophy#also mr nate crowley liked one of my tweets where i was gushing over tdk again and wht undeath means as a concept which was Insane Feeling#since i hadnt actually namedropped the book title or anything#comrade crowley understands the power of change and compassion in death#....................anyway#some of those tomb kings minis tempt me terribly#this is wildly offtopic#nedsha is my babyu its like showing baby photos ok if ppl dont like him ill blow the building up or whatever#i did make and convert one friend into 40k as well tho thats been fun#arv if ur reading this im talking abt u#sorry this is mad long i always think of a million things to say afterwards and i have an extension tht lets me add tags without-#editing the post
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kpop stans really are going crazy homophobic on twt rn this might actually be my call to step back fully like that’s insane I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life
#the pristin girl is releasing a crazy homophobic song that’s wildly offensive to closeted gay men. I don’t care how ‘slay’ it is and how#hard it goes#not a single comment out of tens of thousands is calling her out on it everyone is just praising her over and over and it’s. wow. like crazy#it makes me feel insanely sick#it’s crazy how everyone’s an ally until their fav girly isn’t#mrow.org
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one thing I thought was missing from canon sk8 was the mine being haunted apparently. so we are bringing that into burnished house for absolutely no fucking reason
#sk8 the infinity#burnished house#(I am jokeing there is. in fact. a reason)#(you will not learn this until the divorce comes up)#(well the preliminary reason is I fucking love ghost stories and want to put them in everything)#(and that reki is afraid of scary things which makes him my favourite kind of victim. younger sibling coded for that only)#Im actually having a lot of fun alternating povs between reki and langa bc Ive like. accidentally grounded langa's in#very clear and present bodily sensations. straight up uncomplicated observations about materials in the world around him#while reki's gets all the hyperboles and pretty poetic stuff. I enjoy the idea of him being good at storytelling#ESPECIALLY bc him taking words to heart including scary stories. big deal to me ok?#love to write langa and going from things that clearly are present right there in the scene to the most insane thoughts a man can have#and then write reki and jump wildly between dork ass energetic shounen character speech and romanticizing the fuck out of concrete#weird thing to say after writing three fics of like 20K+ words in total about them granted lmao#but like. listen. I feel like burnished house is me going apeshit so far. this is truly my time to be the worst ever#same approach as I took with [REDACTED]. oh you think this is bad? just wait#I have already added TWO old people ghosts into this one. be in awe of my power#well. be in awe of it when I finish this chapter... I need to sleep rn dksdfhdskj#have a good nite lads. I cant wait to get to that one spot in this chapter where I go yess... YESS!!!! HAHAHA YESSSS#wish u the same for ur art endeavour. if ur art endeavour doesnt have something like that u should add it. my message to da world
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i love to drink espresso and shake my arms around
#justice for the kids who fake stim on tiktok i get it#we should encourage everyone to move wildly in a cartoonish manner#it brings joy and is just Good For Da Body#clutter#also its insane one of my biggest insecurities is that it makes me feel better to shake off a yucky feeling#why am i PATHOLOGIZED for being AUTISTIC fuck yall
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i think its so wild how ppl still try to make it seem like nonmonogamy is inherently smthn freeing and better than monogamy bc they see monogamy as the avenue for IPV and its like. oh buddy do i have news for you.
#personal#like i am not the only person who has been abused in nonmonogamous contexts (:#i am not the only person who was harmed bc of the ways others engage with nonmonogamy#and every time i try to talk abt this i get a ppl telling me “oh that not nonmonogamy thats [cheating/abuse/etc]” and its like YEAH. IT WAS#BUT THE NONMONOGAMY ISNT JUST NOT A FACET BC YOU DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT ANYONE IS CAPABLE OF CAUSING HARM#honestly my worldview as someone who has primarily experienced violence at the hands of other queer nonmonog ppl makes me feel insane#bc i learned VERY early on that identity doesnt mean shit in capacity to cause harm#and wildly enough saying that among yt queer ppl esp is a surefire way to get hate and vitriol spewed my way (:#cause a lot of yall like to pretend your queerness and funky relationship styles absolve you of causing real harm to others#AND I SHOUDLNT HAVE TO DISCLOSE THAT IM NONMONOGAMOUS AND A LITERAL TRANSMASC FEMME DYKE BUT IM GONNA HERE#b4 someone comes in my inbox acting a fool again
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genuinely baffled by what she is trying to say here about tim not belonging/having nowhere to go like it makes no sense. where is this coming from. is it supposed to be about him being queer? kind of loses its effect considering he has a boyfriend and lives in what seems to be a gay part of gotham like he is not isolated he has family and friends who love him its just.. i dont get the point
#its weird to me. idk if im just wildly missing a point or what. i dont know#the second pic is also insane to me considering tim is rich grew up rich like what are you talking about#wild comparison to make#txt#i have many thoughts of my own about tim feeling isolated i 100% think it would be plausible and possible to write about but not#in this setting#i do believe tim would have spent a long time feeling isolated bc of who he is but this is just. a weird and heavy handed way of doing it#and again just doesnt make sense to me#is it supposed to be an identity thing?? like with robin???
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hc that at some point of time pre-end of 247, shiyong switched to wearing all/mostly white, cut his hair shorter and started wearing it in a simpler hairstyle
#because yk i feel like that kid recognised him a little too easily#according to what's said during most of the book he and zhou ying do look similar#but its not the kind of similarity you catch at first glance#and they both have wildly different vibes#so i feel like it'd make more sense if the kid recognized him because of similar facial features + similar getup#also the idea of shiyong subconsciously starting to dress like his san-ge after the final arc does things to my brain#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk#these two drive me insane👍#(and sorry if the mandarin looks too stiff#i was trying to make sure i wrote the characters correctly)#tai sui#tai sui art#xi ping#xi shiyong#tai sui spoilers#tai sui book 5#tai sui conclusion#my art#🍀
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brainrot
#lack of friends and community is making me insane#feel like im existing incorrectly on all possible levels. not meeting any standards for normalcy even tho it’s made up#being a girl wrong being gay wrong being my age wrong being in my hometown wrong#being a daughter and friend and person wrong :) etc and etc and on forever#wildly alienating thanks!#personal
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how do i turn off this awful new feature on tumblr mobile (android user, US) where you're shown a random reblog comment sometimes below a post???
#this is making me Unable to use this app or Think#i dont know if its related to my ADD or which disability honestly but ive always had this Thing where#i cant fucking READ if theres something lower on the page with color or notably different/distracting#i will literally just Skip to that and read it and try to force myself back & its So hard#i only got back into reading heavily bc reading fanfic on my phone allows me to not see the next text until im reading it –#i read from the bottom of the screen slowly scrolling up and revealing more text as i go#this taught me that for books i can do similar with a physical piece of paper/card or something like that#but tumblr is different?? bc the content varies wildly and i cant slowly scroll up each item like that#so i bring up most of the post and see the Extra text and the lil green reblog thing and my eyes Fly to it first#skhfksjc#feeling Insane and also Deranged#real hashtag disabled hours🤪🤪✨ im Losing My Mind.#tumblr update#mobile update#personal#adhd#.txt#maria is literally just rambling. hi
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mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO????#he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that t#the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to get#it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE#and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him#and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH#and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they#want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate#myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR#THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible care#and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans a#and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t w#want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see t#the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel a#safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing aw#away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to#admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of#this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH!#purrs#delete later#like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AUG
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I usually don’t lean heavily on soulmate/soulmark aus, especially for td, but the random thought of a dashawn soulmark/soulmate au that's also sorta compliant with canon popped into my head and it’s got ahold of me simply bc of how utterly wack it is--plus a side dose of angst and obliviousness
(blaming shark with his "destiny brought them together and keeps them apart" line /lh)
#braindump here bear with me#so it starts from the beginning up until…like the finale#so the whole season basically#it’s the typical ‘your soulmate’s first words to you on your body’ au but with these two you bet it’s gonna be wack#debating between the words on dave being totally normal smth ANYONE would say so he literally has no clue if he passed his soulmate-#-without knowing#adds more to his ‘normal guy’ deal#OR it could be the exact opposite (bc this is Shawn’s first words to him so) and it’s smth so wildly abnormal BUT#he doesn’t hear it being said to him so he thinks he hasn’t met his soulmate when in reality he has#for SHAWN it’s more complicated#given the guy’s mentality I can see him being more skeptical abt soulmates and the marks#(prob thinks it’s a conspiracy)#so either it’s a fluke and he somehow doesn’t have a soulmark#OR he has one he just hasn’t looked or given it attention in so long he’s forgotten what the words are#he like literally doesn’t give a shit abt it which opposes dave’s more romantic view#and like there’s pining and frustrating obliviousness and idk who finds out first but damn imagine the feels#and they naturally gravitate toward each other bc of them being soulmates and they’re confused af but rolling with it#‘yeah idk why I’m seeking out your company but I’m chalking it up to wilderness insanity nothing more. you’re my best friend here man’#it’s all in the ✨perspective✨ and that’s what makes it interesting#wow I could actually take this somewhere#I wanna finish agtsta first though. or at least get halfway through it#plus I’ve so many other plot bunnies hanging around 😭#no but I’ve a whole set of bullet-points for this I might post it later on if this gets traction#noahtally-famous#total drama#kit stuff#dashawn
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.
#i dont think its possible for me to put into words how wildly lustful i am for bill bruford#it feels bad#if someone asked me to describe the hottest person i could think of it would be 30-35 yr old broof#tall curly hair big kissable lips smart british mean funny good teeth cleft chin strong arms good jaw#yes i think being mean is hot. sue me#he is also captivatingly charming#under eye bags that catch under certain light and make him look exhausted#his lips make me fucking insane#something is wrong with me#a beast that can talk#broof thirst posting
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