#they really are the silliest guys in town

[berlingotesque]

Sammy and Norman are so so silly they make me unwell /pos

Same dude 😔

[mera-mera-simp]

OP Character's Love Languages

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Ussop, Ace and Law

Content Warning: fluff. Some angst (Sanji, Ace and Law)

Pt. 2

Luffy:

Absolutely physical touch. There is no debate on this.

He can and will cling to you with no hesitation. Man doesn't know personal space<3

But you and most of the Strawhats don't mind it. It's sweet.

Though you do have to gently remind him sometimes that not everybody he knows likes it when he does that</3

Definitely a words of affirmation kinda guy too.

This one isn't as often but he loves making you smile.

Constantly telling you how funny you are and how much he loves you. He is a sweet baby even if he's a menace sometimes<3

Sometimes, you'll get a combo of the two. He'll wrap his arms around a multitude of times and tell you all kinds of sweet things just to see you smile.

Gift. Giving.

Please give this sweet baby gifts it will make his eyes light up like stars and he'll treasure it forever.

You could get him the silliest thing and he'll be so happy. You'll have his stretchy arms wrapped around you and multiple kisses on your face while he's yelling 'thank you' multiple times within an instant.

Zoro:

Quality time.

He's not much of a touchy guy and he's not the greatest with words.

But he actively seeks you out on the Sunny. He just wants to be by you<3

He's not great at words, so just being by you is enough for him

He will make you take naps with him<3

He likes to sit by you when he's cleaning his swords.

Please just chill with him while he trains. He likes being in your presence.

This goes both ways low-key. He knows that you love him so he doesn't need to be reminded. And as mentioned earlier, he's not really a touchy feely guy.

So just spending time with you is enough.

Bro loves you so much, he'll chill by you while you're talking to the other strawhats. He doesn't need to involved in the conversation. He'll just sit by you (he'll take a nap depending on where you are on the ship)

Maybe a small bit of gift giving?

Only if he finds it useful though probably.

Get him stuff to clean his swords with and he'll be happy.

Send him over the moon with alcohol.

But definitely quality time for the most part.

Dude just wants to be by you<3

Sanji:

Is it absurd to say that it's everything? (Because I feel like it is but thats cause I'm in love with him and delulu)

He'll match to whatever your love language is babes<3

Gift giving? He'll spoil you

Quality time? Just hang out with him in the kitchen while he cooks

Words of affirmation? He'll tell you a thousand times a day that he loves you

Acts of service? Say the word and your wish is his command.

Physical touch? He'll be all over you.

He'll match your energy.

Sometimes you'll get the buy 1 get 4 free combo.

He bends over backwards for you.

And it's all super sweet. He'll cook for you, buy you some cute trinkets that you like, spend time with you while you're doing something, tell you all kinds of romantic things, and he'll hold your hand at all times

Bro is such a sweet guy<3

Please tell him that you love him. Reassure him for the love of god

He didn't get it a lot as a kid after Sola died so whenever you do, he really appreciates it <3 (Sanji my sad chef, my beloved I love him so much)

Nami:

Look me in the eye and tell me that her loves languages aren't gift giving and acts of service.

She'll be over the moon if you buy her stuff

Specially if it's expensive <3

Bake something for her, Sanji will help you if you ask him to!

She'll give you a bunch of kisses for it. It's her way of say thank you.

You're the only one who doesn't owe her a single berri. Cause why would she charge the love of her life?

She gets a little jealous super easily though. She'll pout at you. Just laugh at her and tell her she's cute. Kiss her cheek, forehead or tip of her nose if you want to make her melt.

Sometimes she'll indulge in physical touch, only for you though.

She'll hold your hand when strolling through a town on a new island. And then persuade you to buy something she likes by acting cute.

She's super appreciative if you do though

She'll hug you and kiss you with a big grin on her face

It makes her feel important

She likes to make you feel important too. She'll actually go out of her way to buy you stuff sometimes. She teases about an interest fee but if you actually try to pay it, it's the only time she refuses

Ussop:

Words of affirmation

My guy needs a lot of reassurance so he appreciates it

Tell him that he's brave and he'll be absolutely smitten

He also likes physical touch

He'll hold you as he tells his stories

Talk to him about the world. You both love being out on the Grandline and seeing how big the world is. It's one your 'late night can't sleep' topics.

Hangout on the deck of the Sunny and look at stars together. He'll hold your hand and point out the constellations to you. (He learned them from Robin, he just wants to impress you<3)

If you hug him from behind randomly, he'll swoon.

He'll let you stay like that too. He thinks it's sweet. He'll just casually talk to you about his day so far.

He's constantly telling you how much he loves you.

You make him feel strong and brave so of course he's going to return the favor.

Overall, Ussop is just a sweet guy. He likes holding your hand and making you smile<3

Ace:

Oh my beloved sad himbo

Please hold him and reassure him.

He's definitely a physical touch and words of affirmation kinda guy too.

Trace the freckles on his face (he'll melt in your arms with a blushing face if you call them mini constellations<3)

He likes to hold you yeah but please hold him. He needs it.

He likes to be in your embrace but he'll only let you do it when you guys aren't in sight of the crew, he's afraid that Marco and Thatch will tease him for a life time. (They wouldn't)

Pepper his face in kisses

This poor cowboy is so sad please tell him all of the things you love about him

Tell him he's worth everything in the world (Ace was the One Piece</3\hj)

Whisper sweet nothings to him as you guys try to fall asleep at night, that's when his head tries to attack him the most.

He appreciates it all and he'll definitely return the favor.

He constantly has you wrapped in his arms.

He'll kiss the top of your head and nuzzle his face into your hair.

He'll purposely act stupid just to see you laugh.

Please just make him happy. He is so sad

He will deny though.

"Me? Sad? Blasphemy."

Law:

Another quality time kinda guy

He doesn't like physical touch

Or words of affirmation

Please don't openly say you love him or promise him anything, the last person who did both those things died almost immediately after (he's traumatized </3)

Just spend some time with him, that's all he asks. You don't have to say anything he just wants to he by you.

He doesn't know how to accept gifts so that's also kinda out of the question

If you do something for him though, he'll be appreciative. In his own way

Just quality time for the most part.

Just sit by him while he reads or looks over some notes he has.

He's comforted by your presence, you make him happy even if he never outwardly shows it

[tmzrkstan]

nct 127 as co-workers asking you out.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

✦ warnings: a little bit of cursing.

✦ genre: nct x gn!reader, co-workers to lovers, fluff.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

✦ Taeil:

•He was at that company since his graduation and knew how things worked;

•When you entered as an intern his superiors gave him the job of teaching everything around there;

•This man always though that dating should be separeted from working, for professional questions;

•Thats why he stop being nice and friendly with you and start talking the minimum as possible the moment he caught himself smiling like a fool while watching you;

•You tried to ask if you did something wrong but all you got back was "as long as you're doing your job, its fine";

•The day you was too afraid to ask for help from Taeil and end up with another guy sitting next and obviously flirting with you he felt bad;

•That gave him a mental ultimato to something or he could forget about you;

•So the next morning you find a post it at your desk: "I know I have been rude, but can I make it up to you buying a coffee?" and a anxious look on his face.

✦ Johnny:

•You had just transferred from another branch and was kinda lost with everything new;

•Johnny liked to call himself welcome committee leader;

•Then he didn't waste time and welcomed you with a list of the best places in town that you "must" visit;

•The fact that you spend the whole week laughing of his silliest jokes made him realize how pretty you your smile was;

•Got to the point where you two received bad looks from those who tried to concentrate and do some work;

•So you when you almost leaving for the night he asks: "What about giving them a rest and go out for drinking? I can show you one of the places I told you about.".

✦ Taeyong:

•You always felt lucky about the team you worked on, everyone was nice to each other;

•Even when there was a rare discussion it didn't last long, especially because of Taeyong, the kind guy you always looked up to;

•He just felt that him should make everyone comfortable and ended up leaving his wishes behind;

•One big example was that he had been trying for months to ask you out but always end up in a group date;

•Don't get him wrong, he really enjoyed those people, but on the other hand was into you for almost a year;

•Inevitably found himself way too drunk muttering his frustration about not being able to confess his feelings at the bar's table with your colleagues like "🥺";

•The next day he hardly has the courage to talk to you, but after realizing that his feelings were mutual didn't wasted more time;

•A few minutes before you arrived on your date, he sends a text to confirm if was just the two of us.

✦ Yuta:

•Beeing an foreign made him have a leg up on his popularity;

•Yuta was kinda mysterious about his personal life, which generated more whispers around the company;

•But somehow, he noticed you among so many people;

•You would been lying if you said you were never attracted to the mysterious japanese man, you just didn't spend hours talking about him;

•Which eventually caused a questionary from your friends in the cafeteria, like, how could you not be curious about Yuta, why didn't tried to get more information like everybody else;

•That moment was when the aforementioned man appeared out of nowhere confirming: "They gonna get all the information out of the source at our date today.";

•He gave you a winked and handed you a paper with his phone number, leaving behind a table freaking out on you.

✦ Doyoung:

•You were in a way the one working for him;

•Like, when he needed the product you sold he would just call you and meet with you to pick it up;

•You didn't approve of the idea of ​​a date because you might have conflicts of interest, even after he asked you a few times;

•"What you want me to do? Buy it from another person?"

•Until the day he asked to change the delivery location and you found yourself standing in front of a restaurant.

•"I can only pay you after you have lunch with me" he said, and you accused him of taking advantage of you;

•But anyways, you were already there so it would be okay to try, right?

✦ Jaehyun:

•You were sure he hated you;

•Everytime that he needed something from you he would go to your table you would get lost in your thoughts, why didn't he like you? Altough, you were intimidated by him.

•He wouldn't even look you in the face, barely spoke two words and when he saw you in the break room he'd leave.

•Jaehyun was waiting for you to finish analyzing what he brought you when you let out: "Why you hate?" without thinking;

•The conversation went like: "Sorry, what?"/ "What?"/"What did you say?"/ "What did I say what?"/"🤨"/"😐";

•That question hovered over the poor man's head the rest of the day;

•Next morning he approached: "I thought you didn't like me, when you started working here you always ran away from me, so I didn't mean to make you more uncomfortable.";

•You find it cute and admitted to feeling intimate thanks to his beauty and intelligence;

•No a long time after that he asked you out of nowhere.

✦ Jungwoo:

•You I had been teaching him something for days, and he never seemed to understand;

•Even advised him to ask someone else, as you were doubting of your teaching ability;

•But he always made a point of confirming that it should be you;

•One day, you caught him doing it perfectly alone and you went like "😲";

•When he came to you for help again you made him confess that he already knew what to do, and forced him to say the reason for the torture;

•"I was hopping this would made you realize that you like me and ask me out, but you too dumb for that.";

•A few days later, you find yourself having dinner with him, still indignant.

✦ Mark:

•The classic trope of long term friends that are secretly in love with each other;

•Apart from the fact that everyone has already noticed this;

•You always helped each other and spent as much time as possible together in a corner laughing;

•Even though everyone told Mark to come clean, he swore you had a secret life outside of work, maybe even married with kids;

•No one could take the drama anymore, so the team got together and forced you to go out together;

•When you realized there were only the two of you, you thought it was a personal joke, but Mark understood what he had to do;

•It took all night, but he finally confessed and asked you out on a real date.

✦ Haechan:

•You weren't enemies, but you loved to compete with each other;

•Even though it left you with your emotions on edge, your boss didn't care because it meant greater results.

•When you reached the same goal on the same day, you had to break the tie, this time with a prize;

•Unfortunately for your ego, Haechan won and for the prize you had to run out and buy him lunch;

•In the lunch room, you wish him a good meal sarcastically and he forces you to eat with him;

•"You so dumb, if you want a date just say it 🙄";

•"Then we're having dinner tonight 😉".

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

✦ author: first time trying it here! sorry for any mistake, english is not my mother language. Hope you like It!!!

[fagbearentertainment]

I dont really get why people go to one of the two extremes when writing William when somewhere in the middle is EASILY the most fucked up you can make it

Like just imagine. This guy is known in the town for being the silliest man imaginable. He can bring a smile on anyone's face. Children flock around him like moths to a flame bcs they just love his stunts and bits. As far as the general public is concerned, his purpose in life is to make people happy. (There's a reason I hc that before meeting Henry, William wanted to be a magician)

And then one day, he's accused of murdering children. Like what? William? The silly guy? You sure you're thinking about the right person? Except he did.

Like. He leads them to the safe room, kills them and if you believe William stuffed them. He took the bodies, and shoved them in the robots. Joints bending in weird directions, bones cracking and breaking bcs the robots werent made for people to go inside. Rhey don't fit normally so he makes them fit.

And for what? Because it's fun for him. It makes him feel powerful. And he feels like the world owes him.

When all that's said and done he looks at his handiwork, washes his hands and goes home to make dinner for his children and tuck them into bed.

Like. Idk isnt that a more compelling character than just "evil mastermind" or "precious misunderstood meow meow"

~Charlie anon (i actually have a few more thoughts on this but ohhh god it's so long)

*AUTISM EXPLOSION*

I don’t have any good words rn but this!!! Literally all this!!!

[another-little-hippie]

thanks @midnightinwales for the suggestion!

what i think your dream date would be based off your fav lz member (w descriptions):

Jonsey

Picnic date! You would plan to paint or draw, but after a couple glasses of rosé you guys can’t stop talking and giggling. the sun starts to set, but instead of packing up, you decide to take a walk, barefoot, to find the perfect spot to watch the sunset.

Robert

Flea market date! You guys go for coffee and a treat before hand, and maybe you light up in the car before. You end up buying the silliest stuff, and finding some awesome records. You end the day eating gross flea market food (but it tastes amazing to you) and doing a haul of what you guys found.

Bonzo

Fruit picking date! You drive out to a small town, and spend the morning walking the fields of the farm, finding the best and ripest fruit. Afterwards you go to town and have a couple beers at the local pub, but you couldn’t leave the fruit so you also just end up eating some of it right there at the bar. No one says anything because you guys look so happy.

Jimmy

Dinner date! You go to the fanciest restaurant you’ve been to in your life, and you actually feel out of place, but your date makes you so comfortable and happy. You start to really feel like you deserve this luxury (which you do!) Afterwards you go back to their place, and browse through their enormous library, exchanging excerpts and playing vintage records.

[ratsbypaulzindel]

HI. BIG OVERVIEW OC POST THING. IT'S RAINFOREST FLOODS.

have you ever thought to yourself "hey wouldnt it be cool if there was an oc story made by two guys and it was about a haunted waterpark slash arcade in a fake town in a real state". you probably haven't. but if you have youre in luck! more under the cut ok.

rainforest floods is a terrible no good ocverse made by me and my good friend crawford @dykeseesgod. everyone in it sucks and is horrible except maybe one or two side characters. it's set in the podunk middle of nowhere town of timberline, new mexico, and more specifically a waterpark/arcade called rainforest floods (title drop).

also the waterpark SUUUCKS like its budget is nothing they are in debt. the managers havent paid taxes in 15 years. anyway these are the employees. theyre bad

and these are the co-managers. theyre even worse (and also toxic old man yaoi. these refs were drawn by the aforementioned crawford)

anyway yeah. they get up to wacky hijinks in what will ideally be a tv show coming out in one million years. they're also horrible and tragic. most of it is bruce's fault. some of its not though!

ok also here's some other side characters.

^ running gag that nobody knows her name except kelsey who has a huge crush on her.

^ unnamed girl's younger brother who is constantly faced with horrors and torment at the hands of the rainforest floods employees. dont get me wrong hes annoying as fuck but he didnt deserve to run on that hamster wheel. (ref also drawn by ford)

^ jeff's girlfriend. also the coolest person in timberline new mexico. worlds most unimportant minor character but she is wonderful and loved by the producers (me and cosmo)

FUNNY OUT OF CONTEXT THINGS THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU MORE INVESTED IN THIS OCVERSE

rainforest floods stupidity logic is a thing me and robbie came up with to explain why all the characters are idiots who dont find things out that are important to the plot too soon.

there's a chain gimmick restaurant that andy's whole family runs except him. its like italian food but its like also magicians. their tagline is "so good its practically magic". andy hates it.

kyle has a curse on him so that nobody remembers or recognizes him outside of like. his family. so the rff employees arent even targeting him for their shenanigans on purpose theyre all just weird freaks.

kelsey gives unnamed girl the company landline as her phone number because shes stupid and a ghost and doesnt have a phone.

the employees all get together on wednesdays in the breakroom and compare evidence on whether or not andy and bruce are together romantically. its the one thing that truly bonds them all together.

vincent: is a watchmojo fan, had his first kiss as beethoven in his 12th grade production of dog sees god confessions of a teenage blockhead (2004), gets really christian in some episode subplot, is not a swiftie but he is a gaylor, wishes he was jonathan sims sooooo bad, types like a toddler who was just given a keyboard.

vincent also ruined rainforest floods' lobby playlist

also there's a brand account that we run and post on whenever we feel like it. its more of a sounding board for ideas we may explore more in the future. its fun but it may be a bit difficult to get the full idea with the execution so :-( sorry you wont fully understand our wonderful and hilarious visions

annnd i think that's it. yay worlds silliest yet most tragic oc story. ok bye ^_^

[grungeeuvu]

Oohira Reon Headcanons

This guy gets in so much trouble bc he keeps bringing in stray animals to his dorm when it's rainy

He is the stereotypical 'mom' friend in the "yes, i have snacks, yes, i have water, yes, i've got plasters and antiseptic cream, yes, i've created a pair system in case we decide to separate, yes, i have a spare charger for all of you-"

Following on from those vibes, whenever there's an away game or tournament, he has assigned every single first year at least one second/third year to accompany them if they leave the main group to keep them safe

He's also the local 'dad' friend because his jokes are the silliest dad jokes in the world

He goes to Africa with his family every summer and he always brings his friends back the most colourful gifts, all perfectly suited to them

I believe he's half South African (mother's side) and they go to Cape Town for the holidays, but that's just my bias

His ears get cold easily

He smells like spices; those warm, musty and deep ones that kinda make you want to sneeze but also smell super good (only he doesn't make you want to sneeze)

His favourite colour is blue/pale blue and it really suits him so he wears loads of blue jumpers/jackets

He's kind of the 'nice popular boy' - occasionally described as giving 'the only one who deserves to be popular in the group of assholes' vibes, just his friends aren't assholes (except for Shirabu, but he's not really popular)

Accidentally gets so many first-year girls (and Yamagata that one time) to fall in love with him

Not a big fan of salt

He has the warmest hands out of everyone - he melts ice cubes in seconds

Goes to the gym Sunday-midday and does a lot of weightlifting but not much else bc most of his workout is done during volleyball practice. He once ran into Iwaizumi and they very awkwardly spotted each other, since the gym was quiet that day

He gives really nice one-arm-squeeze hugs

Absolutely has the best smile award

Used to have a biting problem as a kid, until he bit down on a water glass at the age of nine. Now, he has a scar on the roof of his mouth.

[dizzybizz]

you have unleashed a demon. i warned you.

i don't think this is going to have any structure whatsoever but i will pretend it does for my own sanity.

i want to start with some behind the scenes stuff bc obviously i do

like i only named guy that because i didn't want to think too hard about names and he has always been a silly little guy. his farms name is sail away farm,,, like the enya song. that's where it came from but really it's a SSS reference cus i will bring other SIs into this somehow. (it was from one of the ai dungeon streams... when julia wrapped up yet another accidental psychological horror story by sailing away whilst listening "to the tunes of enya")

and with remy i had already planned on romancing harvey so i wanted a name i could make a funny shipname of. their shipname is harmy (ironic isn't it ^^). stowaway farm came from some thoughts i had about remy's life before moving to pelican town. where he didn't feel welcome and like the people around him weren't keen on being seen with him. and i just liked the ring it has to it :) the two of them both having farms with "away" in the name was accidental and didn't hit me until after it was too late to change it.

here they are at the character creation screen !!!!

GUY IS MY SILLIEST LITTLE GUY. he's like a hamster or a chipmunk or other small rodents

him asf ^^^^

he's also like ponyo to me, he is very ponyocoded. his theme song would be the full version of ponyo on the cliff by the sea.

he is a biter, a chewer. he's kirby, a chainchomper... he would snack on rocks if he could. he's the breakdancing sims cat. he has bad volume control. he is an octopus, a koala, a monkey. he names a lot of his farm animals after fictional characters. but his hens are named hip, hop, cherry and pop after the lemon demon song. he would take a sip of a joja cola and go "oh, that is vile" and keep taking sips like he needs to confirm it multiple times.

him and elliott are so silly..... their shipname is gull which worked out so well it almost seems intentional. they both got ties to the ocean and beach... we love to see it. they got together the day after elliott's birthday, not only that but it was also right before elliott's 8 heart event. so it was really like guy came in before his book reading, asked him out and then was all "THAT'S MY BF EVERYONE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH" during the reading... he is his biggest cheerleader

he is best friends with emily and shane. and when emily mentioned that she would make a good clown during the stardew fair, he said "this is why we're best friends. we would be the best clowns." and he ate three burgers in a row that day. one day during blackberry season he collected 93 blackberries and was just running around the town with them on his person. him and gus have history together which i will make a whole comic about some day. whilst gaming with abigail he ran into enemies twice and got himself killed. he accidentally bought a pirate sword from marlon. he has died once. he is trying to goad alex into actually shaving his hair off because of that one throwaway comment. HE HAS TWO GARBAGE HATS. (tootsies is SO getting the other one once 1.6 is out)

^ this is what he wore for spirit's eve, called it "farmer in a rush" (he literally just took off his shorts)

i have way less on remy cus he isn't as far along and has had a mostly average time in pelican town so far.

remy is just a big dog who is scared of most things. he is a baby giraffe trying to walk for the first time. he feels very out of place in social interactions. his limbs are too long for him. he is trying his best.

he can come off as very... displeased... his resting face just looks slightly ticked off. really he's a big softie. he has some real unfortunate luck too.. except the night of the egg hunt when he had a fairy visit. he holds onto that little bit of luck there. a glimmer of hope. he had a meteor crash in the middle of his farm, luckily his crops were safe and sound tho, small mercies. weeds damaged his farm the same night the scripted earthquake hit. one day in the mines he got so lost in the dark he had to give up for the day and head up to the surface again, he was one level away from an elevator. he is financially struggling. he names his animals after food. his theme song would probably be cave in by margaux or something.

harmy is a slow-burn, strangers to friends to lovers scenario. they're delightful, i can't wait to see their relationship develop. remy kinda wanted to ask harvey to dance during the flower dance but chickened out (totally not because i only had 3 hearts with him stfu) (also those two pages aren't canon in my headcanon cus i think both of them would be oblivious and dumb as a rock. i just wanted to draw it lol. i think it takes a whileeee for either of them to ever catch feelings.)

he doesn't know many of the villagers too well. he is taking his time settling in fully and is so busy with the farm and mines and fishing and whatnot. oh y'know when sam asks you what his next song should be about?? yeah, remy said trains which has planted the idea that he is a former train kid in my head. and that's something he and harvey can bond over- i think it's really sweet :'). train and plane autism couple. remy has a sweet tooth. he feels intimidated by most villagers. i have a whole hair arc planned for him where he ends up growing his hair out once he really settles in. it's gonna be so epic. he went through 3 of emily's heart events in a row which was wild.

his chest lineup >>>>>

here's an expression sheet i started and will hopefully finish one day

i think that's all for now- I TOLD YOU IT WAS GOING TO BE A LONG POST NO?? ARE YOU HAPPY??? I AM. INFODUMPING IS AWESOME.

i ain't proofreading this are you kidding me.

y'all summoned this. my mutuals summoning my infodump demon with their summoning triangle. feeding my hyperfixation.

[lalunameli]

Tiger & Bunny Week 2024 (NC 1982): Short Story

This has got to be one of the silliest things I've ever written, but ngl, had a blast doing it. Short story about the Karuizawa Cabbage Theory. Geography is woefully in accurate since Sternbild is supposed to be a version of New York City, and well Karuizawa is a resort town in Nagano, Japan. Still the fans think he drifted on the river all the way to Karuizawa, so it stays.

Author: Lalunameli

Title: Yuri on Cabbages

Rating: PG (language)

Characters: Yuri Petrov (ooc, amnesia), and Kotetsu T. Kaburagi

A/N: Unbetaed, barely proofread, will fix mistakes as I come across them.

Yuri Petrov...

Kotetsu sat at his desk staring at the screen looking at a blurry photo submitted to him from his client, of a man with similar hair (though unkempt) selling cabbages. The former Hero Supervisor had been missing for almost a year ...which coincided with the permanent loss of his powers and the last time he and Barnaby had seen Lunatic. While it was hard to make out Lunatic's face in the glare, that same untamed curly hair resembled that of the cabbage seller's, who had not bothered to tie it back. A sharp contrast from the Director, who was so meticulous about keeping a neat and tidy appearance.

Kotetsu's current line of work as a Private Investigator for Anything Goes Investigations opened him up to contact from people from various walks of life, which is how found himself taking on the case of the missing Director. He had been approached by a woman by the name of Elena, who had said she was previously in employment as his mother's caregiver, until her untimely death. Apparently her employer had gone missing while she was recuperating in the hospital for injuries sustained during a robbery attempt in which Yuri's mother Origa, had been fatally wounded. Elena had survived; however, upon her release from the hospital, she learned that Yuri Petrov had been missing since the attacks on city by Gregory Sunshine and the controlled NEXTs. Fearing the worst, she sought out the services of Kotetsu to launch a search for the missing Judge.

This was how Kotetsu found himself in a small resort town called Karuizawa (of all places!) interviewing a strange cabbage seller, who looked unmistakably like his former boss, yet whose mannerisms were anything but.

"I honestly don't remember much prior to ending up here" said the Cabbage Seller amicably smiling at Kotetsu.

Smiling, thought Kotetsu Is he actually smiling at me? And what's with the casual speech?

The Director always spoke so formally around them and was known to be stoic. The Cabbage Seller on the other hand was all smiles, with a carefree demeanor.

"What do you mean you don't remember?" asked Kotetsu bluntly

The Cabbage seller tucked an unruly lock of hair behind his ear.

"Well the people here say I was found drifting in a nearby river badly hurt. They didn't think I'd actually make it! But I guess they brought me to a hospital or something... I'm not really clear on any of it. To be honest I don't really remember a lot of things, so they kinda look out for me." He smiled sheepishly at Kotetsu

"Yikes, sounds like you had a rough time" he responded still weirded out by Cabbage Yuri's mannerisms. "So are you tellin' me you don't remember who you are at all?"

"Not at all!" replied Cabbage Yuri enthusiastically "They've taken to calling me 'Kawabe' (A/N: riverside/riverbank) around here because of where they found me. Suppose it could be worse and they could have called me Cabbage Guy or something..."

He paused for a moment and furtively looked around. Seeing no one was around he looked at Kotetsu conspiratorially.

"Hey Mister, you wanna see something cool? But you can't tell anyone. Promise?"

Kotetsu had a sinking feeling of what this "something cool" was.

Shit-shit-shit... he thought to himself.

"Sure, go for it..." he hoped his nervousness wasn't showing.

"Look what I can do!!"

The tell tale signs of blue light from NEXT power activation appeared, as a bright blue flame errupted from Cabbage Yuri errr Kawabe's hand.

"I dunno if this was because of my accident but it sure looks cool!"

I KNEW IT. Thought Kotetsu. I knew this asshole was Lunatic! And now he doesn't even remember...

"Ummm hey, isn't that kinda dangerous? Shouldn't you be careful where you're waving those things around?"

Cabbage Yuri Kawabe's eyes widened as he quickly extinguished the flame.

"Oops, you're right! My bad!"

'Oops' and 'My Bad'??? Where the hell did he learn to speak like that!! I gotta try to deal with this before it becomes a problem.

"Listen I'm gonna level with you. I'm here because I run a Private Investigations office and..."

"...And you're on a case?!??" asked Cabbage Yuri excitedly

"Yeah something like that. Anyway while I'm here I kinda need someone who knows the area. Whaddya say, you interested?"

"Am I ever!!! That sounds like fun!"

Fun! thought Kotetsu exasperatedly, Why do I feel I'm going to regret this...

The two men shook hands as Kotetsu tried to figure out what the hell he was going to do next to keep up this sham and why the hell this was his best idea to keep Lunatic close.

ETA: Look at this lovely artwork from @lidoxia (aka @kalineas ) of Cabbage Yuri! I'm so honoured and happy to see him genuinely smiling!!

From original post:

Unlikely I'll continue this. I am long retired from fanfic writing, but thought it might be fun to dust off the cobwebs and write something silly.

[ninapi]

New to this (Akaashi version)

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●

Premise: Akaashi Keiji falls in love with a single mother and realizes she's all he wants for his life.

Word Count: 4743

Chapter 4: Confrontation

You were currently resting on a very comfy bed. Staring up at the ceiling above you. Akaashi had ordered extra pillows for you to be as comfortable as possible in your physical state. Though, when he said ‘extra pillows’ you assumed he ordered a couple more for you to be able to sit up a bit on the bed or put under your feet. That was not the case clearly, as you were laying in what looked like a pillow fort more than a guest bedroom. The thought made you giggle to yourself, he really went on and bought eight more pillows, new sheets, and a fluffy pink comforter for you to be as comfortable as you were back home. Not like you had any of this back in your apartment, but the concentrated scowl he had on his face while purchasing all these things online for you made your insides curl. He really is cute.

The room itself wasn’t very big but it had all you could need, a queen size bed, a fairly large closet and a bedside table. Not much besides that. The walls were very muted, almost like a gray box, with not a single piece of art hanging from the walls or the regular type of decorations you would normally have in display for a guest bedroom. It looked pretty different to your own apartment, colorful and full of trinkets, it was almost like Akaashi himself. But you were grateful for being there. Thanks to his help you were going to be able to pay for your son’s school without delays and you were being tended by a devilishly handsome guy and an adorable little girl. Seiji was also ecstatic, he got to play whenever he wanted and also got compliments all the time by doing things, he would do normally without getting any, like tying up his shoes by himself or throwing the recyclable trash in the correct container, his ego getting out of control now that he is the big boy of the house.

You were bored beyond despair not being able to move on your own, the tv was in the living room and you didn’t have any paid streaming subscriptions in your phone, so there were limits to what you could do when there was nobody home. But the rest of the gang were packing up everything up from your house to bring it all to Akaashi’s place. There wasn’t much to pack, the room came with all the furniture anyways, so there was no need to hire a moving company. Everything should fit in a few boxes. But you were feeling extremely uneasy for the silliest of reasons. You told Seiji to be careful and not let Akaashi anywhere near your underwear drawer, but will he really listen? He is just five and doesn’t understand the implications of the sinful drawer and this was not what you envisioned be the first time he’d see it. Not like you wanted him to see anything of what’s inside the damn thing, you seriously need to go shopping for new stuff, everything there must be burnt to oblivion.

You tried to distract yourself from your obsessive thoughts that somehow ended up leaving you hot and bothered thinking of the first time he will indeed see your underwear, hopefully on you and after you can actually move, so you started running an inventory of all your things in your head. You were positive the couple of boxes that they’d bring would fit in the closet, it looked pretty big after all. Now that you think about it, everything here looked big. You haven’t had the time to talk with Akaashi about what he does for a living yet, all you know is that he works with books, but somehow you never thought that would make as much money, this house is definitely more than what a single father and a toddler needed.

You couldn’t look around the house much since you weren’t able to walk yet, but everything looked larger than you imagined. A two-level town house, with a big front yard. No plants, nor decorations at all, just like the room you were in. Seiji was sharing the bed with you as usual, Akaashi insisted on getting him a bed and re-do Kimi’s room so they could stay there as he insists it is a very large space and mostly empty, but you refused his offer, you just didn’t want him to go spending more money on you any further. He kept on nagging about it, but you told him that maybe later, when things were more settled, and you have a bit of money to spend. This managed to silence him as he noticed you were thinking about the money issue, not about leaving his house soon. All he wanted was to make you stay there for as long as possible, so making Seiji feel comfortable was probably his best bet, besides he really didn’t want the child sleeping with you every night, so he had to do something about it.

Once they came back you saw you were right, only a couple of cardboard boxes, that’s what your entire life really was. Even Akaashi was surprised, they only took about an hour to pack everything up. Not the happiest of thoughts, but at least you didn’t bother him excessively. When Seiji came into the room to check on you, he gave you an ‘OK’ sign with his tiny hand and attempted a wink, his tongue sticking out in the process, you assumed that meant he protected your integrity as a woman and you should be relieved by it, so why are you sad thinking about how much he looked like Atusmu right now, so silly yet the most adorable face you’ve seen in your entire life. You gotta get yourself together and stop mopping for someone who didn’t love you as much as you did.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

A couple of weeks have passed, and you are now able to drag yourself to the living room without any help or support, staying there for most of your days. You’ve been trying to guide Akaashi on how to prepare simple dishes as you ran out of places to order take-out from already and were starting to get worried about everyone’s health, but it hasn’t been working.

You chuckled with the spoon still in your mouth, “Why is this soup so sweet, Akaashi-san?” he was genuinely confused so he took your spoon and got a taste, like that was something completely normal, totally unbothered. But why was it sweet? He made sure to follow all your instructions carefully, none of the ingredients were sweet. You saw the canister on the island counter and everything made sense now, “Akaashi-san. The blue one is sugar, not salt. The salt is in the yellow canister to the left in the big pantry.” you pointed over to the kitchen, trying not to laugh at his honest mistake, the face he was making reminded you of the first time you guys met, he looked so constipated it was almost funny.

You know his kitchen better than he does and you’ve never set a foot in it.

“Keiji…” he looked at you, more like stared, right into your soul. “Call me Keiji. You live here now, there’s no need for formalities.” You kept on eating your sweetened chicken soup, avoiding his eyes, heat pulsing from your cheeks at his insinuation, of course you knew you had to stop acting like strangers, you live together and was clear as day that both were developing feelings for each other, but it just felt weird, how it all came to be. Like you skipped so many steps. “Sorry, Keiji.” you replied softly, and he was glowing. His facial expression never really changing, still looked like he was constipated and in a lot of pain, but a rare warmth was filling the air around the both of you and you could only assume that it made him happy enough.

“(Y/N) can I ask you something? It’s ok if you don’t want to answer, I’ve just been thinking about it for a while now and thought I would just ask.” you set the now empty bowl on the coffee table, giving him your full attention. “Why do you have to have three jobs? Isn’t it easier on you to just have one?” he was always a blunt one, but you could see he was concerned and trying to go around the delicate subject without upsetting you much. He never really thought about how his comments would affect others, but he’s been told off many times for the way he speaks, and he really didn’t want you to be troubled on his account. “It really isn’t healthy to overwork yourself so much, what if exhaustion causes you to have another accident? We were lucky this time that it wasn’t as bad, but you’ve had to go through a lot with these minor injuries, what if something worse happens?” you know he is right but all you can think of right now is how he said ‘we’ and not ‘you’.

“Well, I couldn’t finish college. I had to start working right away before Seiji was born. There aren’t many good jobs you can get without an actual degree. Since Seiji was still so little and didn’t have anyone to take care of him, I figured working from home was the best option, but I was only able to find a couple with short hours and low salaries, so I was forced to take more than one.”

 You wanted a better life for you and your son but going pass money problems isn’t something you’ve been able to accomplish since then.

“So how about now? You don’t have to pay for rent, you could take a few online classes and finish your degree while you fully recover. Seiji is now in school so he’s out most of the day. I could even talk to some people in my company and get you in in no time, I know a guy from the human resources team and he owes me one.” This is something you would have never considered, you thought this would be your life for the rest there is. Were there even online classes in your major? Probably yes, especially now a days, but- “It’s probably still not enough. College is expensive, even a couple of classes would eat up a big chunk of my current income.” With a sigh, Akaashi dropped the subject and headed to wash the dishes. He needed to do something, and he knew just what that is, but it terrified him it would backfire.

He made a choice though, it had to be done.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

Akaashi was stepping over a good number of boundaries by doing what he was about to do right now. But he felt like he had to do it. He couldn’t just watch you continue suffering and injuring yourself just for money issues, it could be avoided, and it was just unfair.

So here he was, waiting for Bokuto to finish volleyball practice, sipping on some iced coffee, anxiety eating him inside out. Summer already present but he was sure he was sweating so much for other reasons. Never thought of himself as an anxious person until that very moment.

“Hey, hey, hey!! Is that you, AKAASHI!??” Bokuto ran over to him, squeezing him almost to death, causing Akaashi to glare at him like the old times, “Release me, Bokuto-san. I’m not here to see you.” Bokuto held a hand to his chest, signalizing a broken heart and fell to his knees ready to throw a tantrum. But Akaashi ignored him, looking around the gym. “Is Miya here? I need to talk to him.”

Hearing his name, Atsumu popped his head out of the locker room, chasing the sound of a voice he didn’t recognize. He thought it was someone from the news that was supposed to interview him this week, so he goes out with his blinding smile in display “Did you need me for something? I can change back into my uniform if you need some pictures.” His cocky grin and attitude were driving Akaashi to his limits, but he doesn’t show it on his face, he must do this for you and your son’s sake.

“I’m probably not who you think I am. I came here to talk to you about (Y/N) and your son.” Bokuto lets out the loudest gasp anyone has ever heard, “YOU HAVE A SON, TSUMTSUM?????” he blinked at him in disbelief, now clinging to the sleeve of the designer shirt Atsumu was wearing.

He was not expecting to hear your name ever again. There were nights where he wanted to go and look you up in social media, see how you were, but he never did, scared he would find you happy and in love with someone that wasn’t him, maybe in Hawaii with a pineapple in your hand and some heart-shaped glasses, going on with your life, better off without him.

He feels like someone hit him with a baseball bat. On his face.

A son.

He had a son.

No, it’s not possible. He is sure of that, always been sure since the day she mentioned it for the first time.

“Sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t have a son.” he got up from his seat, his face lacking any color, he looked like he was going to be sick any second now, but Akaashi held him down hard back onto the seat, fuming at the audacity of the man next to him. “Yes, you do. He is five and his name is Seiji, he looks just like you. Not even you could deny him. (Y/N) is currently living in my house, she’s been struggling for years to feed your son and had an accident recently, so I took her in. She had no one else to look after her.  Her family left her just like you did. And now they need your help. It’s the least you can do, you’ve never been there for them not even in their darkest moments. Be a man for once, Miya.”

His world was suddenly collapsing on his shoulders. Did he really have a son?

“Look, just come with me to pick him up from school, ok?  All you have to do is look at him. Tell me then if he is or not your son.” Akaashi grabbed Atsumu from his shirt, pulling him over to his car, Bokuto tagging along not wanting to miss the ordeal and wishing he had bought the bag of popcorn he saw at the store on his way to practice.

Atsumu was a mess inside, it wasn’t possible, was it? He left you and ran away not even letting Osamu contact you, he still has scars from the whole thing, but he was so embarrassed of having others know the woman he wanted to marry cheated on him. And now this guy he hasn’t seen in years comes and tells him that you’ve been struggling to buy food for his son? Is this his fault? Did you really struggle that hard because he wasn’t there? He can really be an ass sometimes, that was totally unnecessary.

The school was not far from the gym, taking them about twenty minutes to get there. No one dared to speak at all and Atsumu was grateful for that.

As soon as they arrived at the school, the teacher at the gates greets Akaashi, letting him know that Kimi boarded the school transport safely and should be already home. “Oh yeah, I know. Thanks for taking care of my daughter. I’m actually here to pick Seiji up.” he points over with his thumb to the guys behind him “Boys night” he says, trying to distract the teacher of the awkwardness of it all.

She calls Seiji up and the child comes running over to Akaashi with a wide smile on his face.

Atsumu's brain cracks.

He truly looks just like him when he was a child. But that smile, he knew that smile better than anyone, is what made him fall in love with you in the first place. The way you would smile up at him would cheer him up in the worst of days. It was so warm and full of love.

He did have a son.

“Papa, I made something for you today!” Seiji has started calling Akaashi ‘papa’ for lack of a better word. He couldn’t call him sir anymore since they lived together now, and Kimi would call his mom ‘mama’, so he didn’t really think anything out of it. And Akaashi was not going to complain. Since they started living together, he wants nothing more than to father this child as soon as possible. Well, there’s a few things he wants more than that, but he has no time for lewd thoughts right now.

Bokuto squeals at this, running over to the toddler, “AKAASHI! Is he your son too? I thought you only had a daughter!” he pinched Seiji’s adorable looking cheek, as clueless as someone can ever be.

The face he was making just now when Bokuto pinched him. He looked just like Osamu when he used to get on his nerves, Atsumu thought, trying to process everything. But Seiji is the one to speak up first, shaking his head, not wanting to create any type of unwanted situation for Akaashi with his friends, “He is not my real papa, I don’t have one. But he is really kind to me and my mama, so he feels like one.” Poor Akaashi, he was having a meltdown on that very spot, not like anyone would notice of course. But so was Atsumu, for different reasons.

“These guys here are friends of mine from high school, don’t mind them much.” said Akaashi to the child in front of him. “What is it that you made, show me.” He crouched down to his level and Seiji shows him a volleyball keychain, “The assignment was to make a good luck charm for your very own papa and take them to the shrine to get them blessed, so I thought maybe a volleyball would be better than a red square for you. We made them with felt!” Seiji beamed, holding the charm for everyone to see, and Atsumu couldn’t hold it any longer, his real papa was here a few meters away from him, he just didn't know it. Crouching down beside them, Akaashi stands and back away a little to give them space. “That is a fantastically well depicted volleyball. But it would be a waste to give that to someone who doesn’t play the sport anymore. Don’t you think? Could it be possible to bribe you into giving it to me instead? I’m a pro-volleyball player, surely, I need it more than he does, since it was blessed by the volleyball god and all. How does a triple-scoop ice cream cone sounds like?” he smiles at the child, and this for some reason makes Seiji feel weird, he feels like he knows this man but has never seen him before. Maybe it’s because they have similar eyes, he read cats like people with light color eyes because it makes them feel safe, like they were family. That had to be it.

To this Seiji, looks up to Akaashi, who just nods in agreement. “We can just make another one later with mama and Kimi. I’ll take you to the temple for more blessings.”

Seiji has been completely swayed, a triple cone was a hard one to reject and was now handing the charm over to Atsumu and giving him his signature smile, "Here you have it, sir! Hope the blessing works, I asked for it to be the luckiest of all!" Atsumu’s eyes fill with tears, and he just can’t help himself.

Wrapping his arms around the small child, he cried. He was hugging his son.

Bokuto pokes Akaashi on his ribs, pointing at the scene unfolding before them, with a knowing expression. Akaashi can just nod, not liking this at all but knowing he has the right to do so. He wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, and he knows he could have been.

Seiji doesn’t know why but having this old man hugging him and crying all over his hair, makes him cry just as hard.

They really do look like two drops of water; they even make the same face when they cry.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

The four go into Akaashi’s car. Bokuto wanted to sit at the front with Akaashi, he just misses his friend so much and Akaashi was being, well, Akaashi, not wanting to be pestered by him. But he let the boy sit with his father on the back, eyes constantly checking on the mirror to make sure he wasn’t doing anything stupid.

To his surprise, Atsumu was now teaching Seiji some words, he needed help with his homework if he wanted to have time for the 2-hour special of detective Connan that was playing tonight. “So how do you read this?” Seiji points to a word in his book. “Platypus” says Atsumu, with a very confused expression, “What on earth is a Platypus though?” he was about to pull out his phone to look it up online, but Seiji perks up, he knows the answer to that question. “A platypus is an animal native to Australia. He looks like a duck and a beaver had a baby together, but they are poisonous. Never touch one, ok? NEVER.” Seiji looks up at him with a scary looking glare on his face. He really reminds him of Samu. He bets they would get along really well, but that’s something he took away from them. He could have had a loving father and an uncle that would probably love him more than he ever loved his own brother. He took all of that from Seiji and not just from Seiji, from you as well. “Got it, no touching Australian duckies.” he extends his pinky over to his son and he grabs it right away, sealing their promise. This makes Atsumu think of getting a platypus pet. Would that get him to love him more than he loves Akaashi? Is it even legal to own a platypus? He can’t go to Australia right now; an important game is coming up.

The rest of the ride goes on without incidents, Bokuto almost throwing himself out of the car when they reached the ice cream shop.

Akaashi was going over to help Seiji out, but Atsumu had already picked him up and was currently carrying him over to the counter. He needs to stop this before what he fears the most actually happens.

“You can choose whatever you want, I will buy it for you. Just ask the lovely lady here to give it to you.” he smiles at the old woman on the other side of the counter, probably now in her late seventies, making her flush with his flattery. “Hmmmm, how about chocolate, strawberry and vanilla?” he looked at all the flavors under the glass case, there were at least thirty different flavors to choose from, “Ehhh? Why would you go for the normal flavors? Wouldn’t you want to try something crazy like that ‘triple almond sugar cookie festa?” Atsumu questions his son. “But I’ve never eaten them before, I don’t know what’s in any of them.” Seiji really wanted to try them all out, but he wasn’t the most experienced in the field, ice cream was in limited supplies back home, what if he ruins this chance and gets one that tastes like piss? He couldn’t risk it. “Common, where’s your adventurous spirit?? I’m sure is right here inside of you somewhere.” he tickled his little tummy, making the toddler giggle and bury his face on the crook of his neck. The display of affection was the cutest thing the ice cream lady had seen today, bringing a smile to her face. “Listen to your father, boy. He knows best. How about I give you a sample so you can try it first? If you don’t like it, then we get you the flavors you chose.” Seiji was thinking so hard that he didn’t even notice what she said about Atsumu being his father, he just wanted to try every flavor. But Atsumu felt a sudden sense of pride that she was able to notice the truth of their relationship, and Akaashi felt like he was losing all he had accomplished with Seiji in the last weeks. Without Seiji he has nothing, Miya can definitely snatch your heart back, he’s very aware that you still think about him constantly.

Seiji ended up trying the crazy flavored ice cream, happily eating it on a table outside the shop with Bokuto who’s eating two cones at the same time. “Seiji, would you stay here with uncle Bokuto? I need to talk with my friend here about some boring work-related things.” Bokuto chocked with glee, hearing Akaashi calling him uncle, that has to mean he is important, right? “Leave him to me, AKAASHI! I will hold the fortress.” he nods with new resolution, and Akaashi pulls Atsumu over to another table, far from the others. “Ok so, just to be clear. I’m not letting you go back into (Y/N)’s life.” Atsumu’s heart crashes and breaks into a million pieces. He just met his wonderful son, and he is expecting him to just go back to his normal life? Akaashi continues, “I brought you here not to rekindle your relationship with your long-lost son. (Y/N) can’t pay for his school tuition. She had three part-times to cover their needs but after the accident she can’t really leave the house and has been bedridden for weeks. I want to help her to finish college and get her degree so she can get a decent job and tend to her son properly without dying from exhaustion. You are in the pro-league, I’m sure you can spare a few hundred bucks for your son’s education, even if it’s just for this year while she can get back on her feet.” Atsumu really doesn’t want to hear any of this. He knows he doesn’t deserve another chance, but reality isn’t being nice to him. He knows this is all his fault, you could have had a better life if he would have just stayed and like Akaashi said, be a man. “If you don’t want to give her money, you can just pay directly to the school every month, you know where his school is now-“, Atsumu steps in, not listening to him anymore, “Does (Y/N) know you came to see me?” it’s all he asks and is just above a small whisper. “No, this was my idea, she would have never-“he gets interrupted once more, “Yeah of course not. Let her know I will pay for it and not just for this year. Here’s my number. Let me know whenever he needs something, I will get it for him.” he slides his golden business card over to Akaashi and walks away, not saying good bye to anyone. He has a lot to think about right now.

He just can’t face Seiji again today.

Akaashi goes back to the child, noticing how Bokuto went to clean his sticky hands in the restroom. “Let’s get going, Seiji. Mama must be worried.” he walks over to his side, pointing over to his car, but Seiji stops him, “Wait! Where’s your yellow haired friend? I haven’t thanked him properly yet and wanted to talk to him some more, he said he would help me finish my assignment!” the boy pouts, tears glossing up his honey colored eyes, and Akaashi’s heart breaks completely, is he really missing his dad already? He doesn’t even know he is his dad. “He had to go back to work. Now let’s go.” getting Seiji in the car and securing his seat belt.

His mission was successful but his heart aches a bit too much right now. Seiji stays quiet the entire time, trying to finish his homework by himself, slightly resenting Akaashi for not telling him his friend was leaving.

Bokuto walks out of the restroom, heaving a satisfied sigh, “HEY HEY HEY WHERE’S EVERYONE?”. But Akaashi’s car was nowhere to be seen right now.

They all forgot about him.

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●

Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter

[airplanned]

Today I heard someone say they were going to be Zorro for Halloween and I went on an extended rant about the 1998 fictional hero before they stopped me and said “he’s from One Piece.” feeling embarrassed and I will now be paying more attention to your One Piece posts to hopefully avoid this issue in the future.

I got you, bestie!  Here is a Zoro primer just for you!

Zoro was the first person to join Luffy's pirate crew.  (Luffy is a huge goober, but he's going to be King of the Pirates. He kinda sucks people onto his crew by being excited about their deals.) Zoro's the first mate and the strongest fighter after Luffy.

-Three Sword Style.  Zoro carries three katanas.  He defaults to using two kanatas, one in each hand.  This is called "Two Sword Style."  But if he has a difficult opponent, he will take the bandana he wears around his arm and put it on his head (so you know he means business) and pull out the third sword.  This sword he puts in his mouth.  This is called "Three Sword Style."  It is so stupid and so cool at the same time.

(sannuiz)

-Bad ass.  Despite how dumb this is, Zoro will do things and I'll go "Awwwww Yeaaaahhhhhhh!"  One time he one-punched a boat. One time he killed 100 bounty hunters at once.  Dude learned to cut through iron, and then he cut a train in half.  One time he was fighting an octopus who was doing "Six Sword Style," and Zoro did this flying spin thing, landed on the other side, and goes, "Three Sword Style,"  and I went YEAHHHH!  Here is the live action moment, when Zoro takes a drink mid-battle and then throws it at a dude.

During the later half of a story arc, the crew will split up with each person fighting a bad guy or fighting in small groups, and the narrative will bounce around between them.  They'll all start to lose at the same time, and they'll all turn it around and start to win at the same time.  Usually the person with the easiest and silliest battle will turn it around first, so the bad guys are defeated in order of how difficult they are.  This means Zoro always gets the penultimate battle.  He'll have a huge take town of some baddie, and then it'll be like "Woooo!  Only the boss is left!  It's all in Luffy's hands now!" And people will be very confused and wonder why Zoro is Luffy's lacky.

-Dumbass.  Do not be fooled.  This man is a dumbass.  He has big himbo energy.  One time they told him to go North, so went Up and climbed a building and then gloated about how he had climbed higher up the building than anyone else who had accidentally climbed the building. That time he cut that ship in half, he did that because he had accidentally gotten on the wrong ship. In the live action, he tries to sit down in a booth at a restaurant, but he's wearing his three swords and can't sit down and has to go around to the other side to sit on the edge.

-Unbothered king.  Zoro has this cool dude aloofness, like he's a man of few words and doesn't engage in anyone's drama.  This makes it sound like he's too cool.  But it's a fun character trait because it gets pushed really far.  Things happen to Zoro, and he rolls with it.  This means that any of Luffy's dumb ideas, Zoro makes them work.  This means if Chopper (the tiny adorable reindeer) wants to sleep on him all day, Zoro's going to carry around a sleeping reindeer all day.  If some stranger wants to poke his face to make it look like he's smiling, then he's just gonna stand there and get poked in the face.  In the live action, it comes off as that Zoro is quietly entertained by all the nonsense happening around him, and he'll allow it because it's funny, and if things go wrong he can just kill everyone and they can leave.

(Zoro with an octopus that has attached itself to him)

-His main job seems to be Luffy Duty.  This is not making sure Luffy doesn't do dumb stuff.  Instead, it's more tempering what Luffy does and rolling with it when Luffy pulls some shit. 

It's a common thing that the whole crew (except for Luffy) think they're the adult in the room, and (except for Robin) they're all wrong.  So Zoro will say something and his aloofness and seriousness will make it sound like it's rational and everyone will be like, "Yeah okay, that makes sen--WAIT  WHAT?" So it's also Zoro's job to agree with Luffy and therefore get the rest of the crew onboard (because when he says things in his serious way, it tricks people into thinking the plan makes sense).

(burquillos)

-Dream/Tragic Backstory.  When Zoro was a kid, he lived at this katana dojo, and he could handily kick everyone's ass except this one girl who defeated him 2,000 times in a row.  This made Zoro very angry, so he challenged her to a duel with real sword.  She kicked his ass then too, again making Zoro very angry.  Then she said, "You need to quit being mad about this.  In a few years when we both go through puberty, you're going to stronger and taller than me, and I won't be able to beat you.  A girl can beat a boy, but a woman can't beat a man.  Suck it up and wait two years."  Well, Zoro has no time for internalized misogyny and (again) gets mad about this.  She needs to do a better job believing in herself, and he makes an oath that they're going to train together and get stronger together and one day one of them will be the Greatest Swordsman in the World.  BFF!  The live action makes it seem like some time passes here during which they are besties.  The manga is very specific that that night she falls down the stairs and dies.  But Zoro's not going to go back on his oath!  He takes up her sword (sword #3), and is going to be the World's Greatest Swordsman for her.

And just, the speed and devotion and certainty that he throws into his decisions is on display here.  Like he knows Luffy for a few days and is like, "I'm going to quit my job and follow you to the ends of the earth and help you become King of the Pirates and be your first mate," and then he does.  Man does not fuck around.

-Extra random character traits.  He sleeps a lot.  He drinks a lot.  He gets lost a lot, but explains it as other people getting lost or hallways moving.  This means he will often show up in places where he can be helpful, when there's really no reason that he should be there.

[takearisk-xo]

If tpfy characters were from America, which state would represent them the best? For example, I see Hermione as a New Yorker, and I'm torn between Florida, Arizona, and Texas for Draco, Harry would be from California or Hawaii, Luna would be from Oregon, Pansy would be from Utah, Neville is from Washington, and I'm confused about the Weasley's... I want to say Texas, but they don't fit Texas. I don't really know much about Theo, so let's throw him into Alaska.

LOL this is the silliest thing we've ever done. i'm going to try and leave politics out of it as much as possible?

Harry: Colorado. laid back, a little bit of everything. it's got mountains, and farms, and desert. it's got big cities and small towns, which speaks to his adaptability and his overall lack of self sometimes. there's harsh landscape but made it's beautiful because of it's severity.

Ginny: Nevada. don't let the red rock mountains and the dessert fool you, this is a lush environment if you look beyond the surface which is a bit like ginny's front that she puts up for everyone else. at first glance she's vegas, but get to know her and she's the spring mountains. also wild horses live here

Hermione: I like New York for her! but a borough? maybe brooklyn? she's the lifetime new yorker who is a bit desensitized to all the batshit things going on in her own head. like the bodega rats and the guy dancing on the street corners to no music. that's just new york! she's got a crazy schedule, and she never sleeps, but that's only because there's so much that she needs to get DONE!

Draco: Connecticut. full stop. but like the blue blood, children of the revolution, ivy league legacy, kind of connecticut. He's got a yacht and a beach house and he actively talks shit about the families from Massachusetts who infiltrate the town in the summer time.

Ron: North Carolina. traditional with lots of history, but also up for anything. He can go big city without losing his rural roots. family is always a priority. the best fucking beaches around.

Padma: Virginia. actually a commonwealth, the state belongs to the people, not the state government (that's a very simplistic definition but this is a very silly game so i'm not getting into it) virginia is supposed to value democracy (their ideals) above all else. also richmond is a v cool town.

Neville: Nebraska. quiet and unassuming, minds his own business but sticks to his principles when it matters. hard working, and agriculture based, seems pretty boring until you get to know him and realize all that boring is actually *really* admirable.

Pansy: Illinois. the glitz and glam and cool factor of chicago is fun, but it's also a little morally bankrupt (lol). She's learning to appreciate the quiet, more steady parts of her.

Luna: I went back and forth on this one for a while, but i think you are right. i have to go with Oregon. Keep Portland Weird and all that. she definitely brings the special brownies to the potluck.

Theo: Montana. quiet and bit of a leave me the fuck alone attitude. appreciates solitary walks through the mountains. likes animals more than people. so sick of the grind. let him lay in a field of wildflowers and think about the universe for a few days.

i think the weasleys as a whole would be Iowa. hardworking, rural, they have enough money to get by, they're willing to try new things (like wind energy), they always try to stand up for what is right, but at the same time they value their tight knit communities.

and since i've now spent a full hour on this, i'm calling it done LOL

[jabberwockprince]

i think what i like the most about luxu is the vagueness of his character

not in the MoM sense of "hehehoho you CANT figure out who tf I am or what i'm up to", but like. you can see firsthand the consequences of luxu's actions throughout the entire saga, but you will never really get to know luxu the same way we might know sora or riku or ansem the wise or xehanort whoever

you just cant do that anymore. the only thing we can do is gleam a sense of a personality through his actions. and that checks out, i CAN understand how this guy has gone body-hopping for centuries or whatever, never getting caught by any of the other reincarnating/semi-immortal for whatever reason/recurring characters because he's so vague

like. look at braig/xigbar. sure, this one has a very strong personality, it's easy to tell this mf apart from the rest of the organization because of the way he gestures and words things. but everything about him is a red fucking flag that makes everyone in the fandom go "!!!!!!" because he's so very clearly imitating MoM's mannerisms. or at the very least, unconsciously inherited them. and this is taking into account the fact that braig/xigbar is luxu's most RECENT identity. if you look at the one that came before braig/luxu (at least that we know of, for now, who fucking knows with the upcoming games) then you get bragi, whose personality seems to stand somewhere between back cover luxu and kh3 braig/xigbar. like he's a bastard, but he absolutely plays it way cooler than braig/xigbar ever did, there is a MUTED aspect to him (and we can't even get into brain bc missing link is not out yet)

and you CAN argue that this muted aspect is entirely because of luxu not wanting to blow his cover. you can fucking argue ANYTHING you want abt this silly fucker. THATS MY WHOLE POINT. THIS GUY CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF SOLID INFO ABOUT WHO HE IS. AS A PERSON IN THIS UNIVERSE

luxu can be a perfect ship of theseus, the perfect tragic immortal, the universe's silliest clown, all three at the same time, something else entirely, everything all at once. and the fact that people have their own LUXUSONAS / DESIGNS FOR HIM only adds to this. bc the concept of luxu is only ONE thing, and that is to be MoM's eyes and nothing else. the rest? you can make tf up, fill in the blanks however you like, bc there's rlly nothing else

the master of masters rlly sent ALL SIX of his own disciples to be sacrificial lambs to win an argument and it's the funniest and saddest shit possible, bc it cost the foretellers their entire town, their unions, their friendship and their lives. and then for luxu, it cost his entire sense of self

[will-york]

When the York's moved to Tonopah Valley....

William had been a week away from turning twelve years old. He had been anxious about the move, but overall supportive of whatever his father needed to heal. But Simon and Percy could tell how down he was. And so a tradition was born for the young Sagittarius, born at exactly 7am on November 24, 1985. On the morning of his twelfth birthday, at 6am, Percy and Simon stirred Will from bed and they all bundled up and got in the car to drive to Lake Mead. As the sun started to rise close to 7am, they sat on the hood of the car, drinking coffee (or hot chocolate in Will's case) and his father's would cheer as the hour hit, celebrating his arrival into the world, re-defining that day in 1985 for Will all over again.

The morning of Will's 38th birthday was no different, except over the years a few guests had been added to the crew that piled into the car while it was still dark out. As Will got older, he always found himself waking up earlier and earlier on his birthday, preparing more to leave with. What had once been hot chocolate and coffee was now coffee and breakfast sandwiches and whatever pastries could be piled into a box at that time of the morning. This year, like many others, Theo and Chloe were already in the kitchen with Percy and Simon (not that Theo had ever left the house) and they all piled onto him with hugs as soon as they saw him. To be surrounded by love was something that humbled him every day. But especially on his birthday.

There was always a moment during his birthday where he couldn't help but wonder about his birth parents. 38 years later and he still wondered about his first year of life, of what it must have been like when his biological parents held him in their arms. If they thought of him on this day or if it was just another day in November for them. Every year he tried to forget and every year he found the thought lingering in the back of his mind despite how joy filled the day was.

This year would include his usual lunch with Logan, a constant of theirs, a little moment for the two of them to giggle and gossip. A pause in the midst of a full day to enjoy a good meal with someone who brought out the silliest parts of him, the parts that reminded him he really was just some dude on this spinning rock. It was a moment to be reminded that he really did have the most special people in his life.

Which was exactly why the afternoon and evenings were truly for the boys. An afternoon ride through town with Cole and Nate, a dinner they'd never treat themselves too on the regular and mounds of dessert by the time the rest of the guys joined them. All to be rounded out by as many drinks as he could handle at the Outpost, blushing as Beau made a thing of letting everyone in the bar know it was Will's birthday. Which was usually how he got the most free drinks and Beau got a decent profit for the night. Laughter and shoulder pats, big hugs and endless teasing. A true loved filled day, celebrating a man who was trying his hardest to truly reflect that love back on himself.

Which is why in order to continue the good feelings of the day, Will fixed his fingers to inquire whether a certain surgeon was free at that latest of hours so he could enter the next year of his life wrapped up in the kind of warmth he wanted to have with him all the time. And a few other things that didn't need to be put into words.

And yet, Will's mind still wandered to the things that were missing. The people that were missing and he found himself wishing that one day, one year, it would all come back to him. Until then, he would be deeply grateful for what he still had. And my god, was it a whole lot of love.

ft. @logandonovan @theodoreknox @chloeandersonx @nathaniel-donovan @colemonroe @beauaustinsinclair @ianmonts

[pineware]

jade.. jade can I tell you about the silliest crossover ever?

y’know how stardew valley has magic and stuff? like, there’s the wizard, the junimos, the mines, mr qi, krobus, and all that obvious stuff. and then other things like oh they never age, oh the player is kinda like a cryptid compared to the npcs, etc.

well, that’s all very interesting stuff. so, here me out: fox mulder and dana scully going to investigate pelican town.

this is not fleshed out at all I just think scully being like “I don’t know, mulder. they seem like regular people who live in a small community.” meanwhile mulder has already disappeared into the mines or smth is just, like, a really funny concept to me.

ohh my goodness mulder would love pelican town. there is so much there that is undeniably magic but you generally have to seek it out yourself. i bet he would chase rumors of unusual or unexplainable happenings at the town hoping to find evidence of aliens, only to discover the supernatural. maybe it would barely even faze him. solar essence? he's seen that written in an x file somewhere..

scully at first would simply think of the off vibe or strange behavior from residents as something normal for a little secluded town. she would dismiss things like the wizard or the implication of monsters as obvious community myths that have been passed down. that is until they notice a player going in and out of the sewers a whole lot, that's a bit suspicious... so they give in to curiosity and investigate and surprise, friendly shadow guy named krobus :D! and he sells things? i think this would have to be another case of reluctant acceptance of the supernatural from scully, unless she comes up with a perfectly rational scientific explanation for why they might have hallucinated a shadow man in the sewer (using words i have to pause the episode to look up. lol)

[buddstar-hugger]

What if the armless homestar runner characters had gloves?

Ok so, I’ve had this idea for a while but for whatever reason I CANNOT draw it for some reason!!! So instead I’ll make a lil text post explaining this lil thing.

I have the head canon that the armless HSR characters DO have arms and hands, they’re just invisible. And I thought, well what if they gloves so others could see their hands or whatever? So I present to you, what gloves I think the characters would have.

Homestar: some sort of leather sports glove, like a biking glove or something. I think they’d have a lil star on them too somewhere

Marzipan: garden gloves! Either one’s that match her dress (probably yellow) or just regular brown ones, cause I think about the giant ass boot she has a lot. They’d probably be dirty too- good for eating dirt.

King of town: cartoony white gloves, some Mickey Mouse looking ones. I don’t really have a reason for this one, other then I think it’s cute.

Homsar: some type of glove that’s…not even glove! Like an oven mitt, baseball mitt…puppet? Something silly and random for the silliest and random homestar runner character.

Also a lil bonus for me-

Buddstar: white gloves with pink bows on the wrist of them, OR! White gloves with kandi bracelets. This is another no reason one, other then it’s cute.

Annndd that’s it! If I missed any uh…your guys’s job! I’m not the only HSR fan here lol- feel free to leave your thoughts or additions in the reply thingy or tags :]