#they went on sooo many tangents too

[stillfertile]

watched the blues vs coyotes game out of curiosity and the commentators were talking about if cows could be lactose intolorent. for like 2 minutes straight.

what

[starzgaze]

imagine aroace!darling is so sick of Hae-In's and Jinwoo's bullshit that they straight up just say "is Beru and option?" when the the two ask which one they prefer.

also, unrelated; i'm pretty sure i just dreamt of a Beru x Reader fanfic and i started looking for it right when i woke up, only for it to not be real. the brainrot is getting to me..

omfg i had this idea too like a few days ago and it's funny to think about cz just imagine you're just some low profile worker within the association that is trying your very best to live a peaceful life. just a normal person you know?? like no big ambitions nor had any notable achievements except the random ones you would get back then in your school days but yet!

you still caught two of the s-ranks 's hearts in the country, really baffling actually.

whenever you're in the room with the two you can't even ignore the obvious deadly tension the two had even if you tried to, you can't imagine how people in the news assume they're in love with eachother when hae-in looked like she's about to pull jinwoo's head off his body and jinwoo is about to gut the blonde on the spot.

like is it really about you at this point? just get a room oh my god and what's worse you... you don't even see them as anything more than friends it's insane.

even if hae-in would bashfully gift you things and listen to your rants or tries to hint that she has feelings for you, every one of these things you would dodge like it was the plague

and it was the same with jinwoo! everytime the man saves you from some magical beast that was suspiciously near your place even if there was no gate that broke in your area, jinwoo would be there to save you like some shining knight in armor and it would play like some romantic scene except you would be there to painfully remind him that it's nothing more than a moment with a truthful "ahaha thanks a lot jinwoo, you're such a great friend!" which was definitely on purpose.

but the only problem was even if you dropped sooo many instances that you were not interested with the two, the damn duo was so persistent that it's genuinely tiring you out like what was it with you that was intriguing?? you're literally a low profile office worker within the association that showed the two a semblance of human decency are they that deprived of love?

like at some point you were (forcibly) hanging out with the two and they were bantering once again over you before they both turned their heads to your direction which honestly creeped you out then finally asking who did you prefer.

"[y.name]! please tell me you prefer a girl like me and not this awfully depressing dressed up loser!" hae-in glared at jinwoo while barking out her words that was definitely an attack to jinwoo's way of fashion

"wha— the hell? my fashion isn't that bad you asshole- oh whatever ignore her [y.name] I'm obviously more desirable" jinwoo deadpanned as he ignored hae-in's glare.

you looked at the two with tired eyes, dreadfully done with their bullshit before declaring your answer

"oh I'd choose neither... actually is beru is an option? i think that ant is more acceptable at this point"

the reaction they had was priceless, especially jinwoo's. you prefer the damned ant?? the ant that bodied hae-in the moment it popped out of nowhere or the same ant that jinwoo obliterated with a punch...? are you serious..

if you squint closely you can notice a wisp of black shadow on jinwoo's person that had a tint of pink blush that awfully looked like an ant. you didn't know if you were seeing things but you swore that it was beru blushing over your decision.

anyway wow i went on a tangent LMFAOOL I CANT BELIEVE I WROTE ALL THAT??? HELLO ANYWAY THIS IS INSANE I LOVE THIS also u dont know j mean... maybe it did exist and the author just got beamed off the internet

[misqnon]

my therapist has explained to me that i probably do not have adhd or autism. bc i very much suspected i at least had one or the other. and to an extent she has a point bc she was like "every one of your symptoms can be explained away by ur anxiety"

awkward and poor social skills? anxiety trying to plan social situations in ur head and play everything to a script? anxiety sensory issues? could be anxiety + literally just a quirk

and i trust my therapist and honestly a lot of what she said COULD also be explained away by anxiety bc i have a Lot of it. and we kinda downplay anxiety as a more mild mental illness due to its prevalence nowadays but its really..really not. it can be debilitating. we say "crippling anxiety" as a joke but no it genuinely can ruin ur life. when u say you have anxiety it immediately feels less serious than something like autism or adhd or bpd etc etc bc its so common but like many other mental illnesses its 100% a spectrum and the far end of the spectrum is dangerous and unhealthy and terrible and life ruining. genuinely. ive had untreated anxiety for like a decade and my memory has eroded EXPONENTIALLY...i have terrible memory now and i used to be genuinely above average with it. my brain fog is really bad too. and im always tired and chronicly fatigued bc my mind is always working overtime. it affects ur whole life and body.

well. i went off on a bit of a tangent there. but. much as i agree with all that AND what she said. if thats the case...why do i hyperfixate on media SOOO drastically heavily. dr....why dr...

i asked her this and she said something along the lines of "well maybe ur just weird/have an addictive personality/maybe its just a copign mechanism" and like yea i could have tolf u all of that. but idk...it feels like very much siomething my brain is wired to do. the way i obsess over things and CANNOT not think about them for long period of time.

she, of course, ended this big long speech with the fact that the dsm-5 was written by a bunch of old white men. for other white cis men etc. and i dont fit into that really. but. thats how it is. so no diagnosis for me right now. just. anxiety hell version, i guess

[nabaath-areng]

People I want to get to know better

(Was tagged by @semper-miles and @sealrock, thank you! ♡)

Last Song: 'Fat Fetishism' with The Piass (don't look up without lowering your volume first just in case LOL) (Random tangent but seeing them live will forever be one of the best things I've ever experienced... I need to frame the stickers I put together on my old calendar cover. Honestly I'd love it if I ever got another chance to watch them perform, seeing that they've only done lives since the one I went to back in... oh my god 2012 what IS time—)

Favorite Color: Pinks, preferably light and pastel though I do love hot/neon pink too. Other people usually expect it to be black considering the way I've always dressed IRL (which is to various extents reflected in my OCs), and I do like black! But what I like to put on myself vs what I like to surround myself with (like my room, personal belongings, everyday items etc) differs and therefore I'm overwhelmingly surrounded by pink lol

Currently Watching: ... Honestly I tried to start multiple things many months ago but my ADHD makes watching anything an actual nightmare and if I finish a whole series, especially if it's long? You can bet that I'll barely remember anything orz So I guess in order for me to answer the question should be "what's the last thing you tried to watch" which would be Heavenly Delusion (hoping to finish it but I can only watch things properly in my gf's direct presence and we're long distance sooo...) (Though last year something possessed me and I watched the entire SVSSS donghua start to finish several episodes in a row without losing focus even once and I'm still riding that high. I suppose it helped that I'd already read the whole novel lol)

Last Movie: Movies are a bit easier for me (due to them having a very clear cut run time for me to mentally prepare for beforehand) but they're still subject to the same problems as the previous question... and I think the last one I watched was Ghibli's Castle in the Sky about a year ago or so (my favorite movie also)

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Love all three, could never pick just one!!!! And for that matter, LOVE sour.

Relationship Status: In a relationship with @amberwound !!!!

Current Obsessions: My new desktop and the fact that I can have more than one game installed at a time on it. I've also been stuck in HSR cause something about the combat just scratches my brain in a way I can't explain...

Last Thing in my Search History: 'Svenskt lejon' to show friend lmao

Tagging: @fourfoldfires @amberwound @captainqster @ahollowgrave @mythandral @witcherbatard @apheliondusk @yloiseconeillants @tsupertsundere @draculas-husband @neoma-eltanin @ffxivtribehydrae @tinolqa @magicalyams @unfotp @cytherae-rubin (I bet more than half of these won't actually get properly tagged with no way to correct it cause this always happens when I tag people and this website might just hate me--)

+ anyone else who wants to! Consider yourself tagged by me!

[astral-express-family]

I saw you wanted to talk Astral Express Fam so Ill share a few headcanons, feel free to add your own💜

March gets sucked into youtube rabbit holes really easily, she literally falls asleep to a cooking video and somehow ends up on random ASMR videos

Dan Heng likely knows alot about random planets and their cultures/civilizations, he seems like a bit of a nerd so i think he'll info dump abt them to you if you ask

^ adding to above if you ask any question about what he's talking about he will definitely go off on tangents and talk about different, semi-related things while he answers your question^.^

Welt's room is kinda messy, his desk is covered in half-done sketches and random books about mecha and drawing. He probably also wakes up and spends the first hour of his day doing warmup sketches/drawings

Even though she prefers dark, bitter coffee, Himeko has memorized the specific way everyone on the express likes their coffee and she makes fresh cups in the morning for everyone.

Himeko, Stelle and March have girl's nights where they try on new clothes they bought and listen to Himeko talk about previous Nameless and the adventures she had with them

^Pom-Pom is sometimes roped into them, they have successfully dressed them up as Cinnamoroll at least once(ik pom pom purin is right there but idk cinnamoroll just...fits)

I wanna know ur thoughts and stuff, lmk lmk lmk<3

yessssss i so agree with all of these wklejfkdjf

i especially love the girl's nights headcanon (i may only be partly girl but i am there for Girl's Nights too :3) honestly i might need to draw Cinnamoroll Pom-Pom at some point wjkfdjkd

Also headcanons of my own (ft. Miya aka my s/i):

if any threat got onto the Express, Pom-Pom would bite it without hesitation

When it comes to protecting his family (especially his kids), Welt has zero reservations about getting violent

There was once a time where Stelle, Himeko and Welt went to a planet together and pretended to be a family - husband, wife, and their daughter

It was Stelle's idea - Himeko thought it was funny and Welt was embarrassed

Surprisingly enough, Welt's actually very much a Girl Dad

Not to say he doesn't love Dan Heng or Caelus, of course

He's just ended up being closer to Miya, March, and Stelle overall

Conveniently enough, Himeko's actually very much a Boy Mom (not the shitty ones from like TikTok or whatever though)

March collects plushies and is very excited when she learns that Miya collects them as well

Stelle and Caelus forcibly claim Miya as their long-lost triplet (joking)

Dan Heng is incredibly touch-starved, but he will never admit this

His lack of admitting it doesn't matter, he gets hugs and cuddles from everyone anyways

Welt is the resident pillow for the Astral Express Kids

Himeko has borrowed March's camera and taken several pictures of them

Pom-Pom has been used as a stuffed animal, especially by Miya - they complain about it but secretly they don't actually mind

that was a lot of headcanons but i have many thoughts about these guys sooo

[maximotts]

Hi 💕 I discovered your priest!daughter!wanda yesternight I haven't read everything/ your hc's yet, I plan to right after sending this message but can I just offer my thoughts? HAHSJAKNNNGH but also consider (lovingly!) being slightly mean to /mocking wanda the first time you touch her and make her cum 🥴 slipping your fingers into her panties (pink with a pretty lil bow ofc) not even touching her clit and feeling around, wanda being so jumpy gasping squirming wanting to look at you but being too shy to maintain eye contact you just enjoying yourself- she's so soft and pretty! "Aw baby was there something you wanted" knowing full well what you're doing to her "i'm barely touching you and you're so sensitive already sweet girl" wanda not knowing if that's a good thing and just wants to please you but she's sooooo overwhelmed and feeling sooo many things nearly hyperventilating poor thing shushing her as you start to stroke her clit, maybe even occasionally dipping juuuust a little lower feeling how wet she is christ she makes the most gorgeous noises and she's so beautiful and you just wanna make this girl - your girl- cum for you and make her feel so so so good she deserves everything all the good feelings and it spirals from being a slightly mocking/teasing mood to heartfelt feelings -IN YOUR HEART HELP- in that moment God what have you gotten yourself into she DOES deserve everything and you're gonna make sure she feels treasured every day

Sorry i kinda went off on a tangent there for a moment forgive me lmao I have a lot a thoughts^tm about the bestest girl ever 💞 thank you for sharing her with us 🫶

YESSSS!! If you haven’t already read ch.5 of the series I highly recommend… for reasons 👀👀

[gamma-gal-24]

Yo first off, all of your F/O’s are SOOO valid you have such good taste. Johnny Bravo is extremely good and I’m glad he’s getting some appreciation because he was one of my favorite shows to stay up absurdly late at night to watch along with Dexters Lab.

I also love Gaston as well and it’s so good to see that I’m not alone bc so many people dunk on him (rightly so but still). His song is done SO WELL in all versions imo like Disney literally never misses with him. Although classic is always best I admit I did enjoy the Live Action version too.

Also funny story related to Gaston, I remember being compared to Belle a lot (primarily because of my appearance and personality) and having a distinct dislike for that bc I secretly didn’t like that Belle went for Beast instead of Gaston but I could never say it vocally because I knew the look I’d get.

IFBSKSBSKSH sorry for this little gush-tangent your F/O’s are super valid and they all love you so much. I love seeing Disney/cartoon Self-shippers because yall love SO SHAMELESSLY and it’s lowkey invigorating!!! Hope ur having a good day and are happy/healthy :)

NONONO PLEASE DON'T APOLOGISE I LOVED TO HEAR IT!💞😭😭💞💞

I wasn't allowed to watch very much Cartoon Network as a child, apart from like- Scooby doo, and so I'm only getting into shows like Jonny Bravo now! And to me, Jonny and Gaston are very much cut out of similar fabrics and I just love them both to bits.☺💞

And while I'm sure whoever comlared you to Belle had no ill intentions, I TOTALLY get not being super fond of it. I would honestly be kinda miffed for the exact same reason you were.😂 I don't wanna be associated with women of bad taste.(totally joking but in Belle's case only slightly😌)

Either way, it was lovely to hear from you and I am SO GLAD you approve of my taste in himbos. And please, feel free to rant or gush whenever you want! I am here for it!

[seoafin]

i’m gonna be a nasty lil nerd and geek out about the fic okay i’m on vacation rn n i feared if i left it for when i came back home i would forget. SO ur insane actually sooooooo crazy for writing that like i’m willling to check u into a mental hospital for putting me through all of that. (it was amazing please never stop) can i tell u my lil ripmc headcannon it doesn’t have to be true and please feel free to ignore if u hate it but i kinda hc that she can read a cursed objected history or take important information from it. i’m unaware if you’ve delved deeper into her techinque ik she uses the katana n idk i think it would be kinda cool if she realized that technique n decided to get proficient with the katana maybe as a way to raise her value as a sorcerer in the eyes of the higher ups n fight curses with the collected information she learned from them in her fighting style with her katana! sorry if like hc stuff about ur if’s is annoying and please feel free to ignore i just thought it’d be kinda cool! like making her super powered up i feel like would clash a bit with geto n gojo but making her just interesting enough a nice puzzle piece to fit in between them she’s capable of understanding an objects entire history but incapable of reading between the lines that her two best friends wanna do the nasty. also i love love love the way you’ve written ripmc n her view in love and relationships i relate so much to it. i’ve tried verbalizing it to myself but end confusing myself even more and i just really loved the simple way in which you explained that she simply loves geto gojo n shoko n all the kids of course. like i have some trouble dissecting the difference between romantic love and platonic love but i just know i have so much of it to give even tho i don’t see love as a huge huge part of my life? we’re u interested in writing ripmc with any hints of aromance or pansexuality in the mind? idk just so cool all around!!!! also the first chapter with her and geto cooking was so fucking wrenching because u do so well the thing where they look at her and they’re clearly mad and they know they’re mad and she’s just apologetic for existing n they’re just fed up and there’s so much unsaid in the quiet of it all n in between all those stolen glances it makes me wanna rip my heart into two. ALSO just the way you wrote rip mc with geto cooking n then gojo n her touching like i feel like you incorporated their love languages so beautifully woah man woahhh. last thing loved the guilt tripping from the children it was awesome i felt like an absentee father who didn’t go see her childrens recital or smt 10/10 recommend. ALSO ALSO megumi is sooooooo possesive of ripmc he is such an adorable lil jealous brat i love how it makes gojo spiral n wish he could revert back in age so he could cuddle up to her and hold her hand ughhhhh🤯

ahhhhhh!!! you can honestly project and imagine whatever you want onto rip!mc she's meant to be written that way!!! but yes haha if you know me then you probably im a very big proponent of having platonic and romantic love overlap. to me there's no clear boundary that marks romantic from platonic vice versa and i don't really think it's something to be necessarily distinguished as different. love is love you know. but also imo our western constructs of romantic love vs platonic love works to our detriment. it places too much of a heavy burden on a partner to fulfill all your emotional needs and emphasizes romantic fulfillment over platonic fulfillment when ideally you should have both! anyway I went off on a tangent lmfao. In the end love is love and rip!mc sees that. no matter how many people you love or how you love. I am sooo looking forward to actually writing mimiko and nanako past a few lines. I know I mainly focus on megumi but all the kids are very precious!!! as I said before you can definitely read rip!mc as pansexual/aromantic (which other ppl have also hc'd her) thank you for reading I'm glad you enjoyed it!!!

[siover]

1, 22,24 for succession <3

1. the character everyone gets wrong

ok i can only speak as to what my mercifully small tumblr circles have posted abt regarding general disk course but from what I've seen literally no one understands connor except like. a few mutuals.....I'm always thinking about that interview where keiran culkin says he's terrifying and unpredictable and I think thats brought out a little more every ep hes in and every glimpse we get into his relationship with willa. I think people do get his trauma and why he acts the way he does but also there isn't really much acknowledgement of the actions themselves and the purposeful horror of it all......given how we see the golden trio fight themselves and each other for logan's love, connor is very obviously presented as separate from that and desirous of not playing the family game for love which in reality arises not from a sense of security or superiority but rather resignation bc hes never been considered a contender and never will. the first fucking pancake lol. the trio want to fuck logan or be logan or be WITH logan (all the only ways they can think of to earn his love) but bc those options are eliminated for connor by virtue of who he is he resorts to the seemingly better-adjusted method of trying to outdo only his past self and so Be Somebody. part of this is also willa like i said he's out of the game and buying love is how he deals with that hollow that kendall looks to fill by killing logan (metaphorically), shiv pretends doesn't exist at all, and roman wants filled for him by logan. does this make sense lol i went off into a tangent about Connor's character but its bc I really need ppl to stop seeing him as someone sweet and kind hes quite literally willa's JAILER

2. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

how close roman was/is to shiv!! and all his siblings really. too many ppl see roman as the youngest bc they dont understand roy family dynamics but roman being in the middle is sooo important he and connor relate to each other in their passivity, the intro suggests a fond remembrace of the childhood kendall shared with him, and he and shiv are more familiar and open w each other than either of them are with anyone else which also obviously comes with both playful and real animosity <3 that post thats like. romans everyones favorite sibling. i think more ppl need to talk about his relationship with shiv and how logan wishes roman were a girl and shiv a boy yknow

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

again this is from my VERY limited exposure due 2 aforementioned mercifully small circle etc etc but tomgreg..........ppl misunderstand them to a ridiculous degree or even if they do get the nature of their relationship they choose to ignore shiv like she isnt the point of it all. no she is Not going to be slotted into the archetypes of tom's mean lesbian supportive friend tm or his evil homophobic wife like come ON lmao..... tomgreg is frankly the least interesting relationship to me on the show (other than like. idk karl/laird?) sorry tg mutuals </3

[mish-tique]

Rose 🥺🌹's Day 13 live-ask! Oh my god i'm catching up!!

okay, fess up, who's the anon that requested this? You're after my own heart!! lestappen + dry humping + gangsters/mafia (yh im reading this as mafia instead of gangster, i hopz u don't mind miss missha because i love that mafia aesthetic more) ?! I love this promt combination so much thank you anon, and thank you miss missha for writing this

Sooo i hope y'all know now what my rose lines means (spoilers below and that they are for miss missha)

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

• first off, the tags!! sub!top!charlie and dom!bottom!maxy <- i'm blushing already, and the sadism of it all and the power imbalance, i'm setting the scene and now as i'm about to read it, voila, a movie

• tbh, in mafia/gangster aus, why is it that the grid is divided into two groups? why can't we have the whole grid as one big happy mafia family

• then again, with ferrari's italian roots, rbr family, and toto as merc's boos, you can't not put that three in different mafias , so same with the drivers, they'd be too powerful (i went off a tangent sorry)

• i can't even read this straight because i'm imaging different outfits ranging from leather to tailored suits (because really, what are these aus for but to put them in new clothes and give them new props) plus hands holding knives/guns <- i may have a screw loose somewhere, this shouldn't be hot but i grew up watching too many action films

• "Charles Leclerc walks in, unease obvious. While the reposts have been saying that the newbie works hard and does his job properly, it’s obvious that he’s not yet relaxed about the idea of being under the boss’ eyes." <- describing charlie as a newbie, all i'm seeing is sauber!charles with his big wide eyes curious of everything and as max is a boss here, its present!max. those sauber!charles x present!max are so real for this (and now, i'm excited for those)

• <b> AHHHHH my mind is all over the place right now and i've been going off tangents </b>

• "He could have used this time to seek out Lando too" <- hihihi carlando

• “Be grateful that I take my time teaching your personally,” he continues, “I don’t give this kind of opportunity to most of the rookies that haven’t risen the ranks yet.” “Oh,” Charles says, not quite as clear as Max would like, “What made you give me the special treatment? Was it —” <- yes, it's because you're pretty. i remember just the other day that i was all for dom!charles and now i'm all for boytoy!charles. we love versatile men

• “Or I’ll get rid of that pretty face of yours. I was thinking about sitting on it, and that wouldn’t be so fun if I have to cut it up now, would it?” <- you can [redacted] (miss missha, i am once again sorry for the horny, must be something with the cycles or the moon. i am now redacting my thoughts)

• "this man might rise the ranks fast, but not in the way he possibly expects." <- this is why we love mafia aus, it's all about the different power dynamics that can be explored

• “Of what?" “Sir,” Max corrects him." <- this took me back to harry potter's, "there's no need to call me sir, professor". if charles did that, oh he'd be in for a long night

• “I mostly focussed on you,” Charles admits without any shame, “Sir.” <- my boys unapologetically horny, good for you, i salute you

• predestined. PREDESTINED. must you? i'm losing my shit here

• "For a second, Max wonders if Carlos is still outside their door and can hear everything, or if Carlos is off with Lando making the younger create the same noises. That idea makes Max imagine how it would be for them to have both their boys on their knees in front of them, and that image goes straight to his dick. He will have to discuss that with the three of them one day." <- you can't just throw this in! it was too much already then zfvkuxqlueiw

• Max is just so composed and cool the whole time but is also dripping <- oh the complexity of the roles you gave them and you wrote it just right

• "He hadn’t even known Charles was aware of his first name. Sexy. Sexy, but suspicious." <- ohh the possibilities these lines open up. i mean,

• He can't be a rat from hamilton because then how'd they have that information? max doubts that charles is an agent sent by whatever police department is investigating him right now because he's got a catalogue of all the officers in the country, and even got a hand in international ones. no, this is someone that has a past with him, because no one, not even carlos, has heard his name since he took up the mantle from his bastard father. charles could be someone from his past that he doesn't remember. and this is dangerous because he doesn't know if the man is there for a threat or a promise that may have been made before.

AHHHHHH. what are you drinking and eating? what have you sacrificed to the muses for them to give you this power with words and stories?? i'm - this is just 2k of words (of smut) but it's like a whole movie already !!! there's all these subtle hints of plot and world building and i could just see the movie!!

you say that you hope that we enjoy it as much as you enjoyed writing it, and guess what? I think my enjoyment exceeded yours. why is it that everytime you publish an entry for kinktober, it just goes up another level. i was gonna tell you my top 3 or top 5 by the end of october but now, i don't even know (i mean for sure all the lestappens will be a bit above the others but you also wrote all the others so beautifully and wonderfully)

i'm giving you the hundred roses bouquet for this one because the standard 25 ain't doing it for this one

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

-Rose 🥺🌹

hiii!! omg im so excited to read this one because I loved writing this one. And it's totally fine that you like the mafia vibes more! i just didn't tag it as such because i can wing gangster au but for mafia i'd need to do more research because of all the titles etc.

yes we do love this anon

those tags are my babies

if the grid was one happy family i'd need to think of oc's for the enemies and i simply do not have the brain capacity

sdgsdk ROSE the outfit ideas. i love.

omg yes. it is actually giving sauber Charles x 2022 max. aaa i wanted to make those long too, i need to get started on them too but tomorrow's (day 15) fic is going to be long as fuck too so. oops.

i wanted to add carlando SO badly omg

tbh dom!charles still owns my heart

are we truly going to blame the moon when this has been going on for 14 days already

"predestined. PREDESTINED. must you? i'm losing my shit here" <- yes i must

"you can't just throw this in! it was too much already then zfvkuxqlueiw" <- lestappen x carlando foursomes are so hot we need more of it

ARE YOU GONNA WRITE THAT SEQUEL BC NOW I HAVE TO KNOW

bread. lots of bread and crackers with cheese and tomatoes. my beloveds. also bread with liver paté.

Babe, rose, sweety, i'm going to need a ranked list at the end of kinktober.

[livinginahousewithchickenfeet]

A bullet list of my thoughts on vacation, I saw the rolling stones (in Denver)

Apparently I have a lot to say so look under the break...

Mick Jagger is very spry for his age (obvi)

Channel Haynes SLAAYYSSS

So many languages compared to my yee-haw town

OMG not-white people!?? 🫢 (Kind of sarcastic, kind of not, small town)

So flat??? Where are the hills???

Sooo dry!!!!! Where is the HUMIDITY?!!??!

Everyone has flowers in their yard, not in pots but growing straight out of the ground, every color!

The driving, OMG

THE PARKING!!!

I know cities are just LIKE THAT but, omg

I'm just not in cities very often

MOUNTAIN!

TALL BUILDING!

dead grass?

Tiny bushes?

I'm almost surprised I didn't see a tumble weed

We went to "red rock" and I was still surprised when the dust on my boots was and orang-y color

They have different local bee species!!!

We got nachos at a Mexican restaurant and they were sooo good (not too much cheese, plenty of meat and guac, onions)

(a tangent but onions taste so good in everything that I feel like they should taste better by themselves)

There was a comic book shop like a couple blocks away from our hotel that just happened to have this comic I've been struggling to find, I got it!

I was probably more excited about the $6 comic than the rolling stones

The real thing I was most excited for was the museum, Meow Wolf, Convergence Station

(better known for Ωmega Mart)

I got two hoodies and a button up that I love

And a sticker (of course)

There was fruits and vegetables!!!

Like, that just grew there

I have to get stuff like that shipped here (or at the Oriental Market if they even have it)

(but they never do)

We stopped at a car museum in Nebraska "real quick"

It was so big

When we went there we did not know what we had gotten into

I had thought it was 1/3rd the size of the down stairs area...

It was 3 floors

I'm going to go post a photo dump now, everything was so cool

You have to see it but this post is so so so long already

[0310s]

i just saw ur abt post and the way we have the same fave genres?!?!?! any particular bands that ur a fan of?

hi wow i love talking about the music i love so thank you for giving me this opportunity to yap!! lemme share my fav artists per genre (i know u said just bands...but i wanna do this for fun)!!

for ambient, anything that makes me feel like i'm floating in the middle of the ocean or lying down in a forest is good music to me. i love takashi kokubo and hiroshi yoshimura!

for electronica i listen to a looot of korean artists—current faves include oohyo, didi han, sumin, and l-like. i also like the deep and iiso :0

for r&b, i love jenevieve, umi, and thuy <3 and within korean r&b / khh i have way too many faves, but some include crush, gsoul, dvwn, george, devita, & ph-1!

for korean indie & bands, my ultimate favorite would have to be wave to earth! then other artists i like include the black skirts, dasutt, adoy, gila, off the menu, orange flavored cigarettes and sooo many more!

i know i went off on a tangent but i hope you can find something new here to listen to <3

[girltomboy]

So the decision my bf ended up making was to give up on this semester, study for the next one and get a job in his hometown, save up money to pay his uni debts AND move to the big city next year to finish the rest of his exams. Which is a faulty plan, but at least he didn't fully drop out (a decision for which he gave credit to his friend, who told him not to drop out once, not me or his parents, who have been saying this since forever, but NEVERTHELESS-)

He came over on Thursday to leave some documents at uni, and we spent the weekend together. Our only friend here didn't want to hang out (in reality he was working and we were too lazy to go visit him at work on the other side of the city, but his hostile tone didn't give us many signs of our presence being actually wanted) 🥲 so we ended up going to the house of an old dorm neighbor of my boyfriend's, met his gf and spent an evening there while he ranted about religion. I'm gonna be honest, it was a bit of a shock to me to discover that such people really exist. I mean generally I'm good at wrapping my head around all the different kinds of people who exist in the world, right. I like to believe I'm pretty good at perceiving diverse ideas, personalities, tastes, experiences, etc. outside of my bubble. Right.

Now I don't know what it was, but hearing this guy talk about god and religion in a highly conservative way I haven't even heard my PARENTS talk really shook and scared me a bit. Like he was ranting about immigrants and gays worse than any elderly religious person I've met, and we're talking about a guy who's barely entered his early 20s. Talking about "we have to keep our country clean" when our country has historically never been "clean" in the way he means it, like ever. He proudly told us the story of how he moved out of the dorm because he got paired with a Baptist roommate (a BLACK man too!). Well, according to him it wasn't really the sole reason, but a pretty decisive factor, probably. Anyway, he had a male way of dominating conversations, so fortunately I didn't have to say much (neither did his girlfriend, but he made her wash the dishes, sooo 🤡). But he did put my boyfriend in the spotlight because he mentioned having visited some monasteries with his parents last week. And he casually said it felt pleasant to just be there with his parents, so his friend got activated and started telling him he should do it more often, pray, believe, start reading prayer booklets, etc. He went on all sorts of tangents about how god works in mysterious ways, and suffering is the blessed path. Later on two other dudes showed up (apparently my bf knew them from the dorm too) and they were pretty much as pious as their buddy. So when they arrived, the Christian guy started over and once again centered my boyfriend's beliefs in his rant, and even spoke with his MOM over the phone about how she should take him to church more often, MAKE him pray, MAKE him read prayers, etc. And my boyfriend did not seem to mind, maybe because he was the center of attention during the entire discussion, maybe because they made him explore a topic to which he hadn't given much thought before (although he does describe himself as an atheist, he admitted he felt some sort of inner peace during the monastery visits, which... I kind of understand, but to jump from that simple comment to - YOU HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH NOW, THE LORD IS TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF YOU AND YOU HAVE TO RESPOND TO HIS CALL is a bit 🙄), but EYE was pissed off not just on my own cause my religious trauma was getting activated, but also on his behalf because it seemed to me like they had all cornered him and were pushing him into this whole thing without taking into account his opinion, his wishes, his beliefs AT ALL. And mind you, he was preaching all this stuff while rolling a joint, so if you ask ME, sincerity might not be his strongest suit.

After the religious conversation died down, he started telling an interminable story about some kind of journey he and his girlfriend had (ironically, his girlfriend is also an immigrant, but he probably doesn't consider her as such because of geopolitical reasons 🤡 that's just another slice of his fascism cake). His girlfriend uttered 3 sentences at most, while he bragged about how he organized so many people of so many backgrounds, races, and ethnicities that were traveling with them and became their leader basically. I understood nothing of his story (as much of a chatterbox he is, he sucks at it) but at least we got stoned and my bf suggested we go home after a while. And we had enough time to catch the night bus. On the way home I tried to rant about the religious fella, but we were both too cold and tired, and my boyfriend seemed set not necessarily on defending him, but on finding excuses for him. I guess I get it because they were dorm buddies, and my bf said he didn't use to be so god-crazy before, maybe I got triggered because of my religious past. His talking points were one of the main things that drove me away from organized religions in general. I feel like I shed all traces of respect and inclination towards organized religions, but I kept at least a little bit of spirituality that has nothing to do with them. However, this guy seemed like the polar opposite: all religion but no spirituality, no empathy whatsoever. I mean he wasn't terrible, he was a good host and seemed friendly, affectionate with his gf, generous, overall warm. Until he started talking, that is. 🤪

[wakingupclean]

i've always had too many questions, too many doubts. i've never been able to fit my spirituality into the boxes that other people try to shove it in. i wonder too much about what could possibly be out there, spend too much time reading between the lines.

when i was small, they got mad because they didn't know the answers to my questions.

now, i don't pray hard enough if i'm still asking those same questions.

my journey has been hard and long, and i've learned so much. i went from a fervently devoted child to a staunchly atheist teenager, to a young adult asking the same questions found in an old book from the 1930s:

and that is where i stay, almost six years later. i know too many different things. i might have pushed too hard on that door that summer six years ago, fell in, tumbling down, down. i still have sooo many questions. i try to put my faith into... whatever's out there, somewhere. the creator. god. i pray every night for my friends and family to be safe. especially my nieces.

i wish i had a community to explore this with. i thought i had one in the rooms of AA, but so many people there in my area are staunchly christian and conservative and i keep feeling like i don't fit in more and more. so many who view my depression that's tied up into dire existentialism (and always too many questions) as a personal failing, that if i was praying hard enough, if i was being honest about my recovery, i wouldn't be so filled with world shattering despair. because they're scared. scared of feeling what i feel. if they believe that if they just pray enough, the darkness won't come for them too, then they are okay. it must be me that's wrong. bad.

ive been in therapy and on meds for 20 years and i just feel so empty. had a terrible thought the other night that im not sure if anyone has actually genuinely loved me romantically-- all of me, not an idealized version on a pedestal of supposed goodness. i still do not believe that i am good, even though i try so so hard to be. is that the weight of christian guilt from my childhood or from the sins i committed while actively self destructing for a decade?

idk why i'm writing this and i keep going on tangents. honestly it was sparked from a fic (edeleth) i was re-reading where the protagonist struggles against the chains of her former faith, feeling utterly abandoned and unlovable. can't relate 😅 lmaooo i just needed to get this out

[spacexseven]

ohhhhh tuna that was sooo good! if you have the desire/time to do so, id also love to hear ur thoughts on aku and chuuya with dr. darling! and OBVIOUSLY i wanna hear ur idea about underground medic darling like u even have to ask that question. 

mmmm so many thoughts on dazai having a crush on a doctor… his heel turn after realizing he likes them and coming back to the hospital would 100% give darling whiplash. he goes from spending most of his time glaring at them in silence unless he had a threat/insult/trick up his sleeve to excitedly babbling nonstop as soon as theyre in earshot. violently resisting even the most minor tests to being insistent that darling has to give him VERY thorough checks every time they see him. from chasing all darling’s nurses around the hospital (causing darling to have to give very awkward lectures on the dangers of getting “involved” with patients after catching them “getting to know each other”) to paying them no attention at all and only wanting to flirt with DARLING now. as an aside i know u dont usually Do male darlings but that last thing would be REALLY funny with a male darling cuz dazai would very suddenly go from giving darling one of his “i have no such tastes in men >:(“ tangents every time he so much as tries to take dazai’s temperature to coming on to him like CRAZY. like congrats on coming out but hold ur horses. hed probably leave his room just as often but instead of trying to get out of the hospital hes just trying to figure out where darling scampered off to. they left him ALONE while he's SICK and DYING! no he WONT go back to his room hes staying with them. he can help them with work, hes very helpful! he’ll even wear one of those cute nurse dresses for them if they want~

also i think chuuya would do the opposite thing with the nurses in this scenario in that hed start flirting with them AFTER he realizes he likes dr. darling. not because hes interested in them, he only has eyes for his cute doctor, but because hed be very embarrassed that darling’s first impression of him was “ungrateful, scary piece of shit” and it’d be his attempt to rehabilitate his image into “sauve, desirable guy”. of course when its time to put the moves on darling he gets nervous and falls flat on his face but hey he’ll get em next time. 

(sidenote i have a really really long draft about psychiatrist! darling would u be interested in an abridged version)

- 🩹

male reader is unfamiliar territory so im a bit nervous to try writing for them but! im always open to ideas u know. the bit about the nurses brought me flashbacks from the manga...the fact that dazai isnt bitchless scares me  And yes anything you have to share i am happy to see

cw: yandere character

after the first interaction with dazai, you're glad to see him walk away. he was most likely your most unpleasant patient by far, with the screaming and glaring and flailing around, going off about how you were trying to kill him (and when you finally got sick of him and told him straight up there were easier ways to kill him here, he went all quiet and stared at you with his eyes bugging out of his head for a moment before going back to shrieking at you). honestly, even that would have been bearable, acting like a grumpy, overgrown child, but what made you cringe was his constant, annoying flirting with the nurses who checked in on him. too many times now you had to talk to them privately, not wanting them to get in trouble.

and things went back to normal, the usual kind of patients coming and leaving, and no sight of him.

until...he came back.

some part of you was convinced that he had been taken over by some entity. he had completely switched from all those weeks ago.

and it was honestly a little frightening. the injury on his leg was…really not so serious that he needed to be hospitalized, but he inisisted, and convinced the staff that he was really in dire need of a thorough checkup and rehabilitation for his severely wounded leg. you weren’t sure if it was his dramatic acting or the envelope he slid over to the receptionist that got him a room. what changed, you wondered, that made him become so desperate to be hospitalized again?

he was all over you this time, happily chattering away when you had to go in to check on him, instead of the previous smacking your hand away and groaning about his right to leave. it was quite strange considering how boldly he had declared you weren’t his type the last time you had to grab his hand to move it aside, shaking you off with an irritated look. even more bizarrely, he had completely forgotten about the nurses who he was constantly flirting with the last time, now treating them with such indifference, it almost hurt you to witness. he demands you stay by his side throughout the night, casually offering that you could sleep on the same bed as him—of course he doesn’t expect you to stay up all night! he also starts following you around outside of his room, walking beside you in his hospital gown like it was a perfectly normal situation. if anyone tries to drag him away, his previously playful expression turns scathing in a moment, and they would scamper away and leave him to torment you. 

he’d have to be discharged eventually, right? once he no longer has an excuse—when he recovers fully—he’ll have to leave. how much longer can they entertain his presence when there’s people who actually need the medical attention waiting? when he is told he can be discharged, he instantly turns to you.

"come with me then," he says, like it wasn't the most absurd request you've ever heard.

“seriously, i can get you a better paying job. or you can just be with me, and i’ll take care of you.”

you refuse, obviously, but he doesn’t look disheartened. dazai osamu leaves after one last look and a promise to return.

[marvelbbyx]

Dating Jealous!Envy Adams Headcanons:

Request: @anon “heyy could you do envy adams jealous headcanons? love your write <33”

Author’s Note: I hope I did you justice anon, lmao I kinda went on a tangent. But enjoy!

Warnings! Drinking? Lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

•You and Envy had been together now for five months, meeting at a club you once worked at—you were hastily making drinks as she was performing their latest song.

•You paused to wipe the sweat from your brow, locking eyes with hers for fleeting minutes before resuming to make drinks, you almost spill a glass of Rum and Coke on some guy’s lap when you feel her stare again.

•After the concert, you were left alone to close down the bar, you were already elbow deep in scraping gum off the bar stools when you see knee-high red boots stop in front of you.

•Any person would be LYING if they said they weren’t embarrassed being found on the floor—covered with gum residue—in front of Envy Adams herself.

•You probably smelled bad too come to think of it.

•You shot up to your feet, gum riddled scraper in hand when you nervously introduced yourself, she was just as breathtaking up close…pin straight platinum blonde hair adorned with a silver spiked hair tie, dark brown eyes with black smokey eyeshadow, and vibrant red lipstick painting her naturally pouty lips.

•Her voice was deep and slightly raspy when she says, “Hi, I’m Envy.” Not Envy Adams. Just Envy.

•Your knees went weak, “Um…I was just closing up shop, but do…do you want a drink?”

•The blonde smiles, biting the corner of her lip, “I’d love one.”

•”What’s your poison?”

•”Rum and Coke.” She replies sitting down.

•”…perfect.”

•Once you gave her her drink, she didn’t drink it right away, instead folded her hands on the counter.

•You shot her a perplexed look, “Aren’t you going to drink it now?”

•”I want you to drink with me,” She stated, which shocked you even more. Usually you just made the drinks, not drink them too. But you also didn’t want to get fired sooo…

•You too—make yourself a drink—this one a Mojito.

•Envy holds up her glass, you mirroring her actions, you two clink the glasses before taking very long first sips.

•Well, you actually took a long first sip, her on the other hand…downed it as if her life depended on it.

•You could only look in shock and slight amazement that she could drink that quickly.

•She slams the glass down on the counter, emitting a small breath, Envy gazes at you expectantly to do the same…you do.

•You two smile at each other, continuing drink after drink—the rest of the night passing in a blur.

•Now five months in, you quit your job to be on tour with her and the band, it was the decision you’ve ever made; not as many white hairs as before.

•And you were still with Envy, after that night you assumed that she would never speak to you again, returning to her normal life and completely forgetting about you. To your horror you were indeed quite wrong, you found letters filling your mailbox everyday and very expensive flowers being sent to your apartment once a week. All from the same: Envy.

•Envy was quite a hopeless romantic, much to the callous persona everyone knew her for she was the complete opposite with you. Flowers, love notes, chocolates, fancy dinner reservations, you name it—she’d get it.

•You never doubted her feelings for you, she shows you everyday just how much you mean to her.

•At the concerts, she’d never fail to point you out or shout out on stage, “That’s my amazing girlfriend, Y/N! I love you so much, baby!”

•But besides the constant declarations of love and showering of affections, there was always one side of Envy that really got you going…her envy.

•It started off at one of the rehearsals, something small, you and Todd were playing with the Cheetos by throwing and trying to catch them in your mouths, Todd goes to show you how to catch it properly, his hand accidentally brushing against your arm when he does.

•Only the thing was, from Envy’s perspective, it looked like he touched your boob. And simply just laughed about it.

•Mid-warm up she steps down from the stage and goes straight over to Todd, as he was in the middle explaining to you the various exercises a person can do with their mouth, it was then that Envy’s hand collided with his face with a loud smack. Leaving behind a crimson hand print.

•Todd recoiled in shock, “What the fuck was that for?”

•”What the fuck were you doing touching Y/N’s boob like that?” She shouts.

•”I just touched her arm!”

•You were still trying to register what just happened as the two of them argued and you did feel bad for Todd…kind of, but you had to admit this side of Envy excited you.

•”Babe, I’m fine,” You say, hugging and rubbing her arm to calm her down. “He just touched my arm by accident, not my boob.”

•”Are you sure?” She huffed.

•”I promise, love.”

•Afterwards, when Todd was crying and wailing to the band manager, you two were in her dressing room. Studying and focusing on the taste of each other’s lips, Envy starts kissing and sucking along your neck.

•You felt her pause at the base of your neck planting a small kiss there before latching her teeth in the same spot. You mewled softly when you felt bite down harder on your skin.

•She pulled away with a self-satisfied grin, her eyes dark and blown out, drifting from your huge love mark to your eyes, hazed with lust.

•She cups your chin, her breath tickling your upper lip when she whispers, “You’re mine, Y/N…only mine. Don’t you forget that.”

•”Never.”

•Then there was second time it happened…it was at a girls brunch, you and Envy were sitting next to each other and you nearly choked on your eggs when you felt her hand snake up your thigh.

•She was calm about it though, pretending as though she did nothing while you were dying internally.

•One of the girls at the table was your ex at your old job, she made a comment about how good you looked then and now. As a result Envy pulled you into the girl’s bathroom to really appreciate how good you looked.

•Now it was at an interview, it was between the band and an interviewer named Matt Shrapnel, who was by all definitions an asshole.

•In his show, whenever he was interviewing a woman he would always make snide comments or statements about her appearance or her job.

•A miracle that his show lasted this long really.

•Anyway, he was interviewing the band and a question was targeted at Envy, you were backstage watching the interview on the flat screen that was in the room, bracing yourself for whatever that idiot had to say. If he was anything like Todd, he’d get the hell out of there.

•”So, Miss Adams,” He began. “You’re a very attractive woman and it’s no surprise that you found yourself a girl who’s just as good looking if not more than you.”

•You scoffed, “What a fucking dick.”

•You noticed Envy’s face twitch as the guy just kept talking, she gave a bitter laugh, “Well, you should know a lot about that, Matt, considering that your wife can’t say the same about you.”

•The audience erupted into a sea of laughter, Matt sat in his seat, shocked that she made a comment like that. On HIS show.

•”Anyway,” Matt cleared his throat. “Miss Adams, would you say that you’re a fashion icon?”

•”A lot of planning and consideration goes into my outfits, in fact, my girlfriend helps me pick them out.” She says smugly.

•This earned an “oooooh” from the audience.

•”Oh, got it. So do you help her dress like a hooker too?” He questions with a laugh. “I mean, I’d want her to dress like that too if I wanted to show off her body like that—“

•Envy rose to her feet angrily, her hands balled into fists at her side. She storms over to Matt’s side, the other band members attempted to hold her back as she goes to hit him.

•You’re watching from room the scene playing out in front of you, Envy and the band screaming at Matt while he hid behind one of his larger security guards, the show was now something out of Jerry Springer.

•You managed to make out your girlfriend’s voice, yelling out, “Leave my girlfriend’s name out of your goddamn mouth! Or next time I won’t be stopped!”

•And she’s not joking.

[I didn’t mean to give Will Smith energy. 😂]