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extremelyblackandwhite · 3 years

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rock and roll and leather skirts.

pairing: rockstar!sebastian stan x writer!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (18+), slight breeding and choking kink

a/n: i just really love returning to this pairing. enjoy xx

It was torture.

Sebastian was sure that the way his wife looked in the crowd was nothing but torture designed to ensure he had a hard on for the whole of the show. He just couldn’t help it. How could he when she was dancing in the front row in nothing but the skinniest pair of heels, a thin strap black top and the tightest leather skirt ever designed by man. Adding to all of that, he hadn’t seen her in the past three months, stuck on an European tour his wife couldn’t accompany him on, thus he felt like he was three seconds away from pulling her on stage and having his way with her. He just couldn’t help it, his eyes couldn’t leave her. She was almost like his very own rock muse, a nymph tempting him with flowing locks as she danced to his music and soft skin illuminated by the bright halcyon light. He could hear unwritten music whenever he looked at her and god if he couldn’t help to hear the music that would come out of her scarlet tinted lips when he got his hands on her.

The set seemed to last forever and while he adored his job and adored to play a sold out stadium, he loved to watch his wife squirm under him. As the last chord played, he was out the stadium, finding the first water bottle to throw over himself before the next morning headliner became his and his raging hard on, which he guessed wouldn’t be the first time that happened. Pushing his hair away from his face, he saw her strut backstage, the red backstage pass resting against her breasts. God damn it, that woman would be the reason he’d someday get caught and arrested for public indecency. She smiled with a grace that was so typically hers, wrapping her arms around him before leaning over to kiss him.

How in the heck had he even scored her? He still looked like a crazy man, with messy hair and tattoos he regretted scattered all over him and she, god, she was fantastic. He could never write enough love songs about it and he couldn’t even write enough songs at how fucking good that skirt looked on her. He interrupted the kiss himself to look at her, at how fucking delectable she was even after all these yers. Of course, she now hated him less than when she first met him.

- Baby, that fucking skirt ... - his hand sneaked up to her ass, cupping it shamelessly as if there wasn’t staff or any of his bandmates around.

- I missed you too. - she teased, her hands warm against his shirtless shoulders. His fingers traced her arm, lips ghosting over her shoulder and up her neck, just below her ear. - Seb, the boys ...

- Shouldn’t have worn that skirt then, baby bunny. - he nibbled the soft skin under her ear, hard enough to leave a mark so the dad who always sized her up at school drop offs would know he was back in town. - Fuck, you come here after I haven’t seen you for months dressed like every rocker’s wet dream.

- I wanted to look good for you. - she flushed under his gaze.

Fuck, she couldn’t look any sweeter with her little hot cheeks and watery eyes as if they hadn’t been married for 5 years and trying and testing both his and her fantasies; however, this skirt seemed to do it for him. He could feel his trousers tighten just thinking about it and those heels making her legs so long did not help either. His hand cupped her thigh, pushing it to hook against his own leg as he kissed her neck, sensing the nice soft flower scent from her perfume. God, he fucking missed her.

- You’re gonna let me fuck you, baby? - he whispered against her ear, breathy laugh escaping as he heard that soft little moan she wanted to hide from him finally materialise. - Hm? You want me to fuck you silly backstage? You want it, bunny baby?

- Seb ... - she whined her eyes gazing the set around her, worried anyone was watching but everyone mostly ignored it. It was a rock concert backstage, sex was as ordinary as clouds in the sky. - Seb, the people ...

- Aw bunny baby ... - he pinched her chin, pulling it up so she was looking at his eyes, his blue eyes which were now midnight blue clouded by lust. - Don’t worry, don’t want any fucking roadie getting any ideas.

She didn’t even know what to say, instead nodding as she herself started to get uncomfortable with not being flushed to him. He hoisted her up, his hands gripping her waist as he made his way into the first room he could find. It didn’t matter where they were, if he couldn’t be inside her, he felt like he was going to explode. He pinned her against the door, his hands travelling and roaming her body while he kissed her neck and pulse, lightly bitting onto her skin as if he wanted to claim her. He wanted to claim her.

- Looking all sinful on the front row. - he growled recalling that view from the stage. - Getting all those stupid boys with their girlfriends all fired up. Raising their hopes up ...

- I’m not. - she moaned as he bite harshly on her neck.

- You’re mine. - his voice was strained, partly from singing, partly from pure jealousy. He normally kept it under wraps yet she couldn’t help but feel attracted to it whenever he acted possessive about her. His lips crashed against hers, hands pushing her skirt off and onto the floor, causing a bit of tear to the fabric. Not that any of them minded. - I’ll fucking prove to you just how much you’re mine.

- Please. - she begged, parting her legs for her generous lover. However, he was not in the mood for gentleness. As her hands travelled up his chest, feeling every ripple of his skin, he caged and trapped her hands above her head, mockingly smiling as she looked at him confused.

- Aren’t you pretty? - he mocked her, tongue licking his lips as he observed her chest raise up and down. - So fucking pretty, baby. Wanna know what it felt like seeing you and not being able to do anything?

His distance from her didn’t last long enough, he was back on her like a wolf. He wanted to bask on her scent, lips climbing up from her neck to her lips in slow, desperate motions. She whined wantonly, wanting to be freed from his grip to touch him, try to undress him, anything, but he didn’t allow her. No, Sebastian liked control and he was going to remain holding power over it. Pulling her underwear to the middle of her legs, he started to torture her sex, his fingers slowly thrusting in and out of her heat. Her chest rose up and down in slower motions, head trashing from side to side as she tried to deal with how his feeling felt dragging against her walls. God, he could make that vision the cover of his next album. Her breathe was rapid and uncontrolled, hands and fingers tensing as she felt her abdomen tighten up only to loosen up as he took his fingers off her heat. She looked at him betrayed and upset but he only smiled, bringing his fingers to his lips, licking them in sin.

- Felt like that. - he almost mocked her state, proud he had gotten his satisfaction but that wasn’t enough. Looking at her only fired her up even more. He let go of her hands, both of his hands cupping her face to kiss her fervently and harshly as if she was going to disappear. Her nails dragged up his back, leaving marks which were sure to make her proud until they reached his leather trousers. She quickly made way of unbuttoning them, trying to push it down but her slowness saw him help her out.

He guided the head of his cock towards her folds before he quickly sheathed himself inside her heat. He growled, eyes rolling as he seemed to find himself in his personal eden the more he buried himself in her. Her hands pulled at him, holding him closed as he reached a hilt. His lips quickly founds hers as he started to thrust in and out of her slowly and filed with wanton. Her moans were musical and breathy, her walls contracted around him almost in sync and he swore he could die happy like this.

- Fuck, baby. Had forgotten how good you fucking felt around me. - he spoke through wet kisses, his hands slowly guiding her hip movements. - Aren’t you a fucking minx? My own little sex muse.

- Seb, please. - her nails buried onto the skin of his back, trying to quicken her movements. He wanted to go fast, rough, ignore her pleasure and merely take his but how could he when she looked so delectable, so sweet begging for him. - Please.

- Oh, baby ... - he growled out, hand holding her neck against the door as he snapped his hips forward. She broke on in a long moan as his cock dragged in and out of her wall, mixing with the lewd sounds of his skin hitting hers. Her breathe struggled to recover, shaky from the sheer pleasure of him snapping his hips in and out of her without a care and from his grip on her neck. Her hands gripped at his body as he continued his assault on her cunt, lips sometimes stealing dirty, messy kisses from her, drinking from her lips. - Are you gonna let me cum inside of you, bunny baby? Have you dripping with my cum as you step outside? Huh? You gonna let me?

- Please. - she moaned pathetically, no longer caring how she’d look once she stepped outside. He smiled through the kiss, hand leaving her neck to toy with her clit, the other helping him pull himself in and out of her in almost animal movements. He wanted it, he wanted her to fall apart, he wanted the world to know she was his. His moves grew uncontrollable and out of pace until his hips jerked still, a dirty, raspy moan leaving the rocker’s mouth as ropes and ropes of white cum painted her walls, some of it slightly trickling down her leg.

She held herself against him, trying to hold her legs up despite how trembly they felt. He panted through a smile, looking down to bask in another one of her kisses, holding her against him before she could fall. The two collapsed onto a nearby couch, her half naked body flushed against his as both tried to regain some sense of regular breathing.

- Three months is too long, baby bun.

- I know. - she rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him with a mischievous little smile.

- Sex’s incredible though. - he stole a playful kiss from her. - I might just put your moans in a song one day.

- Don’t you dare. - she herself peppered kisses onto his lips, jokingly pointed her finger at him.

- Fucking love you, baby. Fucking love you.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan smut #rockstar! sebastian stan

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fanmoose12 · 3 years

Text

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 12/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Сhapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

“Oi, lady, have you gone mute? Or did you call just to give me a silent treatment?”

Kenny, that voice belonged to Kenny. Kenny was just on the other line, Levi had finally found him, in the most unexpected way, in the most unexpected place.

Levi wanted to say so much, wanted to yell and scream, wanted to curse at his uncle before his throat was dry. But his tongue felt heavy, stuck to the roof of his mouth, and in that moment, the only thing he could manage was a breathy whisper,

“Kenny?”

The only reply he got was silence, which grew in intensity with every passing second. Levi could sense Hange’s bewilder and shock, her hard gaze was burning the back of his head. But Levi ignored her for the time being. He’d deal with her later, after he’d get out of Kenny just where the fuck he was hiding.

However… Kenny still didn’t give an answer. The bastard was going to end the call and throw away that phone, he was going to slip away and disappear again. Levi couldn’t let him. He was sick of chasing Kenny, of being three steps behind him.

It was time they talk, whether Kenny wanted to or not. Levi tightened his hold on the phone, lamenting that he couldn’t fist his hands in the lapels of Kenny’s stupid long coat to give him a firm, rough shake. Then, perhaps, Kenny would finally get his head out of his ass.

“I know you’re still here,” Levi gritted, his exasperation slipping through, “So stop fucking around, and start talking.”

Finally, that earned Levi a reaction. Kenny sighed, the sound alarmingly weary. “I told you to quit, didn’t I?”

“I couldn’t, and you know that.”

Kenny let out another sigh, this time accompanying it by a colorful curse. “Are you still running around city with that detective in tow?”

Levi chanced a glance of Hange. She was staring back at him, impatience written all over her face.

“Yes. What of it?”

“Can you shake her off?”

Could Levi do that? Possibly. But did he want to do it? Not particularly. He and Hange had an agreement, after all – Levi gets his uncle, Hange gets her missing girl. Fair and square. He wasn’t going to lie to her again, even for his uncle’s sake.

“I can’t. And cut the bullshit, Kenny. Tell me where the fuck are you.”

There was another beat of silence, this one was aggravating Levi a lot more. He meant to snap at Kenny again, but just as he was opening his mouth, a vile curse on the tip of his tongue, Kenny said,

“Remember the house we used to live in? When you mother was still alive? You will find me there.”

Levi took a deep breath, a million of questions ready to spill out. The call was disconnected before he could utter a single word.

Of course, what else he was expecting from his uncle? Cooperation? Clear communication? That was never their way.

What he found surprising, however, was that Kenny was hiding in their old house. Levi would have never suspected it as his hiding place. He didn’t know that house still existed at all, he thought Kenny had gotten rid of it a long time ago – sold it away or destroyed.

But he hadn’t. And now Levi didn’t know what to think of it. He also wasn’t sure how he felt about going back to his childhood home, a house he shared with his mother, a place where he had spent the happiest of his years, before the biggest tragedy of his life struck.

Would be overwhelmed with sweet nostalgia? Or be struck by immerse grief?

Or, maybe, he would be too occupied with yelling at his uncle to notice any kind of different, more solemn feeling. The third option was certainly the most preferred one.

Turning to face Hange, Levi was meaning to explain everything to her. But as their eyes met, the quiet of the night city was interrupted by a shrill sound of her ringtone.

Hange winced, silently apologizing, and took out her phone, putting it to her ear. Levi frowned, wondering who could call her this late in the evening. He had his suspicion, of course…

It was confirmed when Hange answered the call with ‘Erwin! Is everything alright?’.

Puffing an annoyed breath, Levi paced a few steps away, giving Hange at least the illusion of privacy. But as his legs carried him away from her, his ears strained, catching every bit of conversation that he could.

However, understanding what Hange and her boss were talking about proved to be quite a task, when her replies consisted mostly of ‘Yes’, ‘No’, ‘Huh? What do you mean’ and ‘It can’t be!’. Hange ended the call in less than a minute, finishing it with a decisive ‘I’ll be there as soon as possible’.

She approached Levi immediately after.

“We need to go to the precinct.”

What? Like hell they did, they finally found Kenny, what could be more important than this?

“Reiss showed up there.” Hange explained, answering his unasked question and furious expression. “He wants to give a statement about Historia’s disappearance.”

Well… that changed the outset a bit, Reiss’ statement was if not useful, then certainly intriguing, but they found Kenny. In Levi’s eyes, that was still the more important clue. Not to mention… that was his initial and only goal.

“I know where Kenny is,” he told Hange, expecting it to change her plans completely.

He should have known that steering Hange away from something she had already set her mind on wouldn’t be so easy.

“We’ll go there right after I take that statement from Reiss.”

She looked so calm and rational, a stark contrast to the storm inside of Levi. Did she really not understand how significant their finding was? Levi was ready to growl from frustration.

He took a step forward, his eyes narrowed. “Hange—”

“Levi.” she moved closer as well, almost invading his personal space. “We will do this my way, or you will do nothing at all.”

Oh, so she was threatening him now? As if that would ever work on him.

“Alright,” he conceded, crossing hands on his chest. “Let’s split up then. You go to Reiss and your darling boss, I go to Kenny.”

Levi thought he’d struck gold with his suggestion. Both of them would get what they wanted without sacrificing precious time. It was perfect, wasn’t it?

Hange evidently didn’t think so. She laughed in his face, stating, “Don’t take me for a fool. Do you really think I’d let you go to see your uncle all by yourself?”

So that was it. The good old argument making a return.

“Really, Hange? After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t trust me?”

Perhaps, some of his hurt had reflected on his face, because Hange suddenly deflated, something close to shame flashing in her eyes. “It’s not about you,” she mumbled, looking to the side.

“Not about me?” this spurred his anger even more. “Then, who is it about?”

Hange clenched her jaw. “It’s about your uncle, Levi. I trust you, but I cannot and will not trust him. Would you have felt differently, if you were in my place?”

Hange’s concern and doubts were certainly… reasonable. He knew Kenny would never hurt him, not intentionally, but would he feel the same if he didn’t know him his whole life? If they weren’t family?

Of course, he wouldn’t. And Hange had even more reasons to distrust him, fighting her on that was futile. He could try some more to convince her, could try and make a run for it, but he’ll just end up wasting even more time that was now so precious.

“Alright,” his shoulders slumped, as he surrendered. Arguing with Hange had a way of making him extremely exhausted. “Let’s go to your shitty precinct.”

“Really?” Hange raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You agreed that easily? I thought I would need to handcuff you…”

Well, wouldn’t that be an interesting twist of events. Maybe, he would have enjoyed it. Once the embarrassment wore off, of course.

“Thanks for sparing me then.”

“Mm,” Hange patted his shoulder with a smile. “Don’t do anything stupid, and you’re totally safe.”

Ah, what a relief.

“Shall we go, then?” she started walking, her arm already lifted to hail a taxi. She didn’t even wait to hear his answer.

Levi cursed and hurried to catch up with her.

___

The whole time they spent in the car that was headed to the fucking police precinct, Levi felt like he was sitting on needles. There was another reason why he wasn’t crazy about going to that place, and, although, it was nearly not as important as his primary one, now it was making his anxiety rise to drastic heights.

Here he was, semi-willingly heading to the police precinct again. To the place that swarmed with cops, where some of Hange’s colleagues were probably aware that he was a criminal, where he would once again meet with Erwin fucking Smith.

Their last interaction ended somewhat amicably, but what could guarantee this one would be just as successful? With man as cunning as he was, who could be sure what was going inside that big brain of his?

Besides… there was another problem, hanging heavily on his mind. And in the silence of the taxi car, Levi decided to try and deal with it.

“Hey,” he started cautiously, attracting Hange’s attention. She shifted in her seat to look more comfortably at him. Despite that, Levi kept his gaze trained forward. “We’re going to meet Kenny soon, and, hopefully, untangle all this mess, so… have you decided what will happen with him afterwards?”

What will happen with me afterwards, was the question Levi wisely chose not to voice out.

“What will happen to your uncle?” Hange pursed her lips, a point finger tapping at her chin. “I don’t know yet. I guess it depends on the solution to this riddle.”

“And his…” theirs, “previous crimes? Are you going to just forget about them?”

“I can’t really do anything else about it. Technically, we have no suspects or any kind of damning evidence. Technically, that case has been closed almost two months ago.”

“So…” he put his hands into fists, keeping them from picking at the fabric of his pants. He still didn’t lift his face, reluctant to look into her eyes. He still didn’t ask the question that tormented him the most, afraid to hear the answer.

“After all of this is over… you’re free to go,” apparently, Hange knew what he was thinking about, even without him asking the question out loud. “Like I said, there is nothing I can do to pin those thefts on you or your uncle, and since, unlike your uncle, you haven’t kidnapped a young girl…”

“Oh. So you won’t try to put me behind bars anymore?”

He was almost disappointed to hear about it.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Hange protested. “I would love to do that, but I have no means to do it.”

“The horrible bureaucracy saved me?”

That earned him a delighted chuckle. Levi’s chest swelled with pride because of this little achievement. “Unfortunately, you’re not the only criminal that got away because of it.”

“All the more reasons to thank it then.”

“Or curse it vilely.”

Levi shrugged, his lips curling in a smirk. “Depends on the point of view, I guess.”

There was a pause in the conversation, and when Levi chanced a glance at Hange, he found that she wasn’t looking at him anymore. Her face was turned to the window, her fingers drumming on the seat between them in a slow, irregular manner. She seemed pensive. Levi wondered about the reason for it.

“Hey, since we started talking about it…” the rhythm created by her fingers grew stronger, more erratic. “Have you decided what are you going to do after we finish the case?”

Had he thought about? He hadn’t had the time. But even if he had, what was there to think about? He didn’t have a lot of options.

“I remember you mentioning some kids from Singapore,” Hange continued. “Are you going to go back to them?”

Going back to the brats? That didn’t sound all that bad. Just this morning they’ve sent him a photo of the three of them, telling that they’ve settled comfortably in Jean’s summer house. They said that they’ve missed him. Levi was feeling the same. But was that enough to build a life there, so far away from his home?

He could stay with Kenny, but what if Kenny went to prison? Would there be a reason for Levi to stay then?

“You know… I think we made a pretty good team. So if you ever tire of being a vile criminal…” Hange trailed off, letting Levi fill the blanks himself.

If he understood what Hange was offering correctly, then… Oh. Levi felt his chest warm up, moving downwards, spreading that pleasant fluttering to his stomach.

Hange still was staring at the window, refusing to meet his eyes. Her reflection, however, was perfectly visible to Levi, and the slight rosy color on her cheeks made his own heat up.

“What, are you proposing I become your crime solving buddy?”

Hange shrugged, feigning disinterest. “I could use some of your skills.”

“I’ll think about it then,” he said, mirroring her detached voice.

Hange faced to him with a beam shining on her lips. It was enough to make Levi smile back.

___

Despite the late hour, the precinct was bustling with activity. Remembering his last visit and the half-dead building he found that time, Levi wondered if he just caught the police station on a particularly slow night, or if that was how it always operated, and the amount of officers running around that they saw now was unusual.

"So Reiss is actually here," Hange muttered. "Or something really bad has happened. Can't imagine what else could cause this commotion."

Oh, his assertion was correct then. The precinct was so active just because of Reiss’ arrival.

Hange walked through the precinct with confidence in her stride. She greeted every officer they passed with a quick nod, they answered her in kind, and, thankfully, most of them were too busy to pay attention to Levi. He would love if it stayed that way for the rest of their visit.

They took the stairs, crossed a couple of hallways, turned a few corners, and there they were - walking up to Hange's office. There were a lot more familiar faces there - Levi could see Nana— something, talking with two officers, and Mike, leaning against the coffee machine at the other side of the room.

Hange immediately changed their trajectory, heading to him.

"Mike!" she shouted, causing him to turn in their direction.

As they approached, Levi raised his hand in greeting. When they were close enough, Mike raised his hand too, but instead of a friendly salute, Levi received a dizzying, lip shuttering punch.

Woah, apparently he was not only a towering height, but a mountain of muscles as well, the force of that punch reverberated through his skin and almost sent Levi flying through the air to land right on his ass. Mike certainly wasn't going easy on him.

Comprehending what was going on around him became a vexing task after that hell of a punch, but Hange's loud, laced with anger voice still cut through the fog.

"Mike! What the fuck? Have you gone mad?"

Mike's answer was much quieter, Levi only barely managing to catch 'You're the one to talk..."

Whether Hange heard her tall friend or not, she gave no reaction to that line. Instead, her strong arms wrapped themselves around Levi's shoulders, making the ache in his jaw turn into a barely noticeable dull. She made him face her, her fingers gripping his chin. Despite the outrage swirling in her gaze, her touch was gentle, more like a caress.

"God, Han, he's alright, it was just a punch, I'm sure he had worse. And, he more than deserved it."

Hange looked up at Mike, long enough to give him a death glare and hiss, "Shut the fuck up now."

When her eyes were back on Levi, her voice softened considerably. "Hey, Levi, are you alright?"

He gave her a nod, tenderly clenching and unclenching his jaw. Seemed like... Mike was right. He did have it worse.

Besides... having Hange so close, seeing that worried look in her beautiful brown eyes was... extremely pleasant. Enough to make him want to remain in this position for a while longer, just to enjoy that blessed feeling for another moment.

"I told you everything was fine with him," Mike grumbled suddenly, startling Levi. With Hange in front of him, the rest of the world was left in blurs, even the man who assaulted him had faded to the background. "Now, leave the thief alone and hurry to Erwin. The big man is already in his office."

That got Hange's attention. "By the big man you mean..."

"Yep, it's Reiss. I’m sure I don't have to tell why making him wait is extremely unwise."

"Got it, got it," Hange pushed the hair back from her face, taking a step back, much to Levi's disappointment.

"Don't you worry, I'll take care of your buddy," Mike reached out to Levi, and the arms that Hange still had around him tightened. Levi felt an illogically massive amount of pleasure.

"Mike, don't you even think—"

"I won't hit him anymore. I swear," he added, when Hange just kept giving him a look full of skepticism. She left it on for another second, and then nodded, letting Levi go.

She marched off to the office without another word or even glance. Without her, Levi was suddenly too cold. And the jaw ache returned with vigor.

"Here," Mike thrusted a handkerchief in Levi's hands, pointing to his still bloodied chin. Levi accepted it with a grateful nod, wiping the blood with a disgruntled grimace.

"Now let's go, I won’t waste my smoke break babysitting you." Mike pushed him forward, back to where Levi and Hange had come from.

As he finally got a good look around the room, Levi noticed that they had an audience, quite big and intrigued one. They kept staring at him as Mike led him to the elevator. Thankfully, no one uttered a single word, or, god forbid, a question.

Levi would have breathed out in relief once the elevator doors closed, if his companion wasn't so... unnerving. Mike didn't say a word, didn't as much as glance in his direction while they rode the elevator. He was silent when they left the elevator. He was silent as they moved towards the exit. He was silent as they walked outside. He was silent when he lit up his cigarette, was silent when he offered another one to Levi. Mike was silent before he took his first drag and after he let the smoke out. He inhaled deeply through his nose, and only then he fixed his eyes on Levi.

Levi held his breath, the tips of fingers trembling in anticipation for what was to come. Hopefully, not another punch.

"I was with Han, you know? When she found that note of yours. When she realized who you actually were."

Oh... Then Mike's ire was more than justifiable. And Levi digressed – a punch would be probably a less painful option than having this conversation.

"Did she..."

"No. I've never seen Hange cry, but—" Mike put cigarette back to his lips, inhaling it slowly, as though calming himself down. Levi waited for his answer with a bated breath. "I've also never seen her look so lost. At first, she wasn't even angry or hurt, just confused. I couldn't bear to see that look on her face. So when today I saw you waltz in our precinct like that, with Hange by your side..." he trailed, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry." Levi said.

He really was. He didn't mean to, didn't wish to hurt Hange. That was never his intention. And yet, he still did hurt her. That mistake would weigh on his soul forever.

"I know you are," Mike replied, surprisingly easy. "I used to think you're a scumbag and that my nose has failed me…"

Shit, he was really serious about this whole nose thing?

"But it turns out you're not that bad. You did lie and broke Hange's heart," and for that, Levi already received a punch in the face. "However, Erwin told me what happened yesterday. You really called him and asked to take Hange home?" Mike chuckled. "Man, that took some balls."

...To put it lightly. The memories of his last clash with Erwin still elicited a shiver from him.

"I was actually worried he'd throw me in jail," Levi confessed. "I'm surprised he didn't."

"Oh, believe me, he was very tempted to." Mike revealed.

"Then why didn't he?"

Mike shrugged, shaking off the ash from his cigarette. "Because it wasn't his call, it was Hange's. Whatever that she sees in you, it is enough for our Han to trust you. And Erwin respects her enough to not get involved in that."

Oh. That was actually reassuring. Perhaps, now Levi could stop feeling like a naughty schoolboy in Erwin's presence.

"But if you make the mistake of hurting Hange again," and just like that, the reassurance was gone. "We will make sure that you regret it. Next time, I won't be pulling back my punches."

So that hit was Mike going easy on him? Fucking hell. Levi hoped he wouldn't anger that man again. His skull may not survive it.

As Mike grew silent once again, Levi finally remembered the cigarette he was still holding in between his fingers. It almost burned out, he hurried to take a drag before it went out completely.

He regretted his decision almost immediately. Mike had a fucking terrible taste in tobacco.

Discreetly, he put the cigarette out and threw it into a trashcan.

"What do you think they're even doing there?" Levi raised a finger in the general direction of where Hange, Erwin and Reiss were. "Reiss showing up, it's a big thing, isn't it?"

"The biggest one we had in a while. Have you seen that shit inside? The precinct isn't that lively even during daytime. The bigger commotion would have happened only if we got you Ackermans in handcuffs."

Luckily, that would never happen.

"And? Do you think something... useful might come out of his visit?"

"Don't know," Mike stared down at his cigarette, rolling it between his fingers. "To be honest, I thought that Hange's new case was just another dead end. But now guy as big as Reiss gets involved? I guess it's more complicated than I expected it to be."

Complicated? That was one way to put it. Levi was still baffled by the notion that Kenny was working with Frieda Reiss. Clearly, this case was much, much more complicated than they've anticipated. Clearly, he needed to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible.

As though hearing his thoughts, Mike put his cigarette out. "C'mon, let's get you back before Hange bites my head off."

"Doubt that four-eyes will care so much about me."

Mike raised an eyebrow, his face screaming bullshit. But he said nothing, only smiled enigmatically and patted his shoulder.

"Whatever makes it easier to sleep at night, man."

___

Inside of Erwin's office was brighter than Hange had ever remembered seeing. Usually he used only two sources of light - his battered desk lamp and computer screen. But today, the ceiling lights were on. Hange didn't know that he even had them.

What's more, for the first time in a while, the leather couch standing beside his desk was occupied - by Reiss and a woman Hange had never seen before. Although, Hange had never seen her, that didn't mean she didn't know her. The hair color, the face structure - it was almost identical. Eyes, however, were different. Historia had definitely inherited them from her father.

Compared to Reiss’ bright ones, Alma’s eyes seemed practically lifeless. Her expression was completely neutral, like she wasn’t entirely there, her thoughts a long distance away from Erwin’s office.

So that woman was the mysterious mother? Hange longed to hear what she had to say.

"Sorry for the wait," she flashed everyone in the room a smile and swiftly strolled inside, taking a seat across from Erwin.

"You're dressed very smartly this night, detective Zoe. I do hope I didn't interrupt your date."

The smile didn't slip of her lips, as Hange shifted, facing Reiss. "I appreciate the concern, but it is uncalled for. Nothing more important than my job."

"Your date must be very understanding. Is that the same fella I saw you with last time? I thought you'd broken it off."

Ah, so Reiss was keeping tabs on her? Lovely.

Luckily, Hange was keeping tabs on him as well. She shifted her gaze to Reiss’ companion.

"And can I ask you who is that, Mr Reiss? Is this your—"

"That's my secretary," Reiss' smile became just a fraction more strained. Hange internally cheered. "Alma."

The same name that was listed in Historia's birth certificate. That bit of doubt Hange still had, now vanished without a trace.

"She's got valuable information regarding your recent case. And since you and I are already acquitted, I decided to accompany her."

"How nice and generous of you," Hange told Reiss, before returning to his secretary. "It's nice to meet you, Alma," she put her hand out for a handshake. Alma accepted it, albeit weakly. And only after receiving a nod from Reiss. Interesting. And creepy. "Why have you come to see me?"

The question was directed on Alma. But Reiss was the one who answered it.

"Alma has something to share regarding the disappearance of her daughter."

"Oh?" Hange shared a look with Erwin. His bush eyebrows were up to his hairline. So he had no idea about it, huh? Well, wasn't it good to finally be one step ahead of him?

But for the moment, Hange had to feign shock as well.

She cast her eyes down, hands dropping to her lap. "I was under the impression that Krista was an orphan." Then, with a slight frown, she added, "Why didn't you report her missing then? We caught news of her disappearance almost a week later."

"I..."

Alma paled, her hands began to tremble. Hange's grin began to spread, she almost got them—

But then Reiss— damn him— interfered. He covered Alma's hands with his, holding them gently, like a caring father.

"Alma and Krista had just recently reconnected," he explained in a quiet, saddened voice.

"Yes," Alma confirmed. Seemed like Reiss' support has given her the needed strength - she sounded surer now. But her gaze kept its strange detachment. "Krista and I rarely talk. I had abandoned her at the orphanage when she was just a newborn, so there are obviously... some tensions between us."

Despite the emotional flavor of her story, Alma was anything but. She was talking about her missing daughter and the rocking relationship that bounded them, yet nothing of it was mirrored in her. Her voice didn't waver, no muscle twitched on her face. Alma looked bored, like she was talking about something more trivial than even weather. Damn it, even Ackerman would have done a better job at pretending.

Although, perhaps, Hange was judging his acting skills a little too harshly. Earlier that evening, his kiss was more than just convincing. Hange felt tingle in her lips at the mere thought.

The sound of Erwin clearing his throat brought her back to present, rather abruptly.

"That is a very tragic story, Miss... Alma, but what is the reason for your visit?"

"Oh right," she freed her hands from underneath Reiss' and grasped her purse, opening it. "I found this on my lawn."

After a moment of rummaging through the purse, Alma laid before Hange a phone that was wrapped in a cellophane bag. Huh, for a simple secretary she knew more than enough about preserving evidence. Not to mention that if Hange found the phone of her missing daughter lying on the lawn, preserving evidence would be the last thing on her mind. But, oh well, what wasn't suspicious about that woman?

Reaching out to Erwin, Hange silently asked him to pass the sterile gloves. Any other day she wouldn’t think twice about simply grabbing the piece of evidence, but if that's how they wanted to play, she would have to indulge them.

Once the latex was pulled onto her long fingers, Hange took the phone - eagerly, impatiently. It all might be just a ruse, and she'd be damned, but she was intrigued by it.

The phone wasn't in the best shape - a large crack ran through the screen, the sides of it were covered in bumps, and at the bottom of it— oh, just a speck, but it was undeniably blood.

Hange shivered at the thought about its origin.

Once unlocked, the phone destroyed the little doubts she had. It really belonged to Historia, the picture on the lock screen confirmed it. The photo showed Historia, who was smiling at the camera with all of her loveliness, and Ymir, who was facing away, her lips at Historia's cheek. Ah, so that's why she was so dead set on saving her? Interesting. And so romantic. Hange didn't expect such a thing from Ymir.

"You found it on your lawn, right?" Erwin asked, signaling Hange to pass him the phone. Once she did, he looked at it, with both skepticism and curiosity.

"Yes," Alma said. "I called Mr. Reiss as soon as I did."

"Alma hopes that the phone would shed some light on where Krista disappeared."

"Hm." Hange couldn't shake off the feeling that she was walking straight into a trap. Why did Reiss decided to finally act, and why today of all days? Was he aware that they got to one of his daughters, and now were close to finding another one? Did he even care? And what was the importance of the phone? It was some sort of distraction or diversion, Hange was sure of it. But for now, it would have to remain a mystery. As suspicious as Reiss' actions were, there was a more pressing matter now. They had to get to Kenny Ackerman, and get out of him everything he was willing to share. Hopefully, with Levi by her side, he'd be much more amenable.

"Thank you for your cooperation," getting out of off her stupor, Hange smiled and shook first Reiss', then Alma's hand. "If we find anything regarding Historia's whereabouts, we'll alert you immediately."

"Krista." Reiss spoke in a voice so low that Hange had to take a double take to confirm that yes, that scary tone was coming from the honest, kindhearted, absolutely innocent politician.

"What?"

"Krista, Alma's daughter is named Krista. And you were just talking about some Historia."

Some Historia, huh?

"My mistake," Hange chuckled, rubbing her neck. "It was a long day, sorry."

"Forgive that slight mishap. Detective Zoe works day and night to find your daughter." Erwin chimed in, calming everyone down with his soft, unassuming smile. Hange could barely keep her delightful giggle.

Your daughter, Erwin said, while looking Reiss in the eyes. So he already caught on? Hange wasn't surprised.

"Thank you for the visit and have a good night, Mr. Reiss, Miss Alma. My assistant will walk you to the door."

Reiss nodded, his eyes still darker than a night's sky. He helped Alma get to her feet and led her to the door, where Nifa, Erwin's assistant, was already waiting with a tired gaze and polite smile.

They left, without looking back even once. Alma didn't say goodbye to Hange, didn't grab her arm and beg to bring her daughter back home. God, that woman could have at least tried to do a more believable act.

Once the door was closed, and they were left alone, the amicable expression was gone from Erwin's face. His jaw was set, his lips pressed in a line, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I hope I don't have to tell you that you're walking on a thin ice, Hange. And that this endeavor of your—"

"I know."

"And working with that Ackerman—"

"I know." Hange repeated, firmer this time. She knew the dangers, knew about possible consequences. Last night, Erwin made sure to explain it to her in vivid details. "But this girl is in trouble, Erwin. I can't let it go before she's safe."

"Your heart was always your biggest weakness," the stoic mask on his face hardened, and then cracked, revealing a fond smile. "But it's also your biggest strength. Don't lose it."

Standing up, Hange hid Historia’s phone inside the pocket of her jacket, then flashed Erwin a cheeky grin. "Is that an order, Captain?"

"It absolutely is, detective. You may go now. Someone is very impatient."

Hange followed Erwin's gaze, turning to the door. Even through the closed door, Levi's silhouette was transparent. He was pacing back and forth, and Hange could bet that he was scowling. She confirmed that guess as soon as she left Erwin's office.

"What the fuck had taken you so long? C'mon, four-eyes, we have to hurry."

Right, Kenny Ackerman was waiting for them. Kenny Ackerman who most definitely had the answers, who probably knew where Historia was. Hange couldn't allow another second go to waste.

She quickly skipped to where Levi was standing, prompting him to start moving.

"Let's go then! The solution awaits!"

___

"Wait!" Hange stopped them as soon as they were out of the precinct. "We need to call Ymir."

Levi groaned. Why, oh why, would she want to call that impossible brat?

"We wouldn't have found your uncle if it wasn't for her help. The only thing she asked in return is to find Historia. We owe her that much."

Perhaps, that was true, but Hange hadn't considered one very important factor - Levi really, really didn't want to face Ymir again. The last embarrassment was still too fresh in his mind.

"We haven't found Historia yet," he tried to argue.

"But we're as close as ever," Hange chirpily replied, overthrowing his whole reasoning with just one hopeful sentence.

Well, his battle was doomed before it had even begun. Levi lamented this loss with a sigh. "You're too kind, four-eyes."

"And you're too cranky," she retaliated, following that devastating blow with a mighty clasp to his back. "Call taxi for us while I talk with Ymir, okay? You know where to go, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded, sobering a little. Amidst his banter with Hange, he had completely forgotten that right, he was going to visit his childhood home, the same house where he had found the breathless body of his mother at the ripe age of nine. The feelings this trip was awakening in him were still unclear.

"And where exactly are we going?" whether his face, voice or general stiffness betrayed him or Hange was just that attuned to his emotions, but worry took residence in her gaze. She froze with phone raised to her ear, waiting for his answer.

"It's at the edge of the city."

"Near the docks? Some kind of abandoned warehouse?"

"Um." Something pointy stuck in his throat, making it hard to speak. However, Hange's gaze didn't waver, as she continued to expect a continuation from him. Swallowing his discomfort, Levi muttered, "We're going to my childhood home."

"Oh." The hand holding the phone lowered. Hange took a step in his direction. For one terrifying second Levi thought she was going to hug him. But, apparently, she decided to spare him from further embarrassment and concluded that gripping his shoulders tightly was enough. She stared straight at him, and in the darkness her eyes shone with sincerity. "If you want - or need - to talk about this, I'm ready to listen. If you—"

Fucking hell, compared to Hange, every other human seemed like an utter piece of shit.

"It's fine, four-eyes. It's just the house where I found my dead mom."

Saying that was obviously a mistake. Hange gasped, her eyes widening. Her hands on his shoulders tightening. "Levi, that's—"

"Yeah, one hell of a traumatic experience, especially for a brat who barely turned nine."

Another wrong line. Now Hange looked close to tears. Levi didn't know what urge was stronger - to wrap himself around Hange and ask her to never let go, or tear his hair out.

"Listen, I've dealt with it a long time ago," he didn't, hadn't even tried, but today and right now was very obviously the wrong time to go soul-searching and uncover what consequences his mother's death had on his psyche. "Don't worry about it."

"I can't help it, but if you insist..."

With that lost expression on her face, Hange looked so damn adorable, Levi was pissed off at himself for being so unwilling to look away. Thankfully, she saved him from this heavy duty by being the first one to turn around, the phone back to her ear. Levi turned away as well, escaping temptation. His finger was just hovering over the order button, when it dawned at him.

"Wait!" he pulled Hange back to him. "Did you just call me Levi?"

It wasn't the first time this evening as well, but all the previous occasions had him too occupied with something else to notice that slight change.

"Where did the damned Ackerman go?"

"Um." If he hadn't spent the previous two days learning just how bold and forward Hange was, he'd say that right now, she looked ashamed. The red in her cheeks certainly spoke in favor of that theory. "I'll be dealing with two Ackermans from now on, right? So to avoid any confusion..."

That was a very logical, reasonable explanation. So why Levi wanted it to be something more— personal?

"The taxi will be here in five," he said, distancing himself from these pointless, foolish thoughts.

"Ymir said she'll be waiting there for us," Hange nodded readily. "Shall we go?"

And so they went.

___

By the time Levi and Hange walked out of the taxi, Ymir was already waiting for them. She was standing near the sidewalk, leaning against a shiny black motorcycle.

Levi rolled his eyes at the sight of it. Of course, Ymir rode a motorcycle. As though she wasn't already a personification of every possible lesbian cliché.

"Oh what a baby!" squealing, Hange ran up to the motorcycle, looking it over with eyes burning from excitement. "I'm sure Historia would love to take a ride on this beast!"

"What can I say?" Ymir huffed, puffing her chest. The smirk on her face was absolutely horrendous. Even Kenny couldn't quite recreate a look of that much self-confidence. "Chicks dig bikes."

"That they certainly do."

Aha, so Hange liked motorcycles. Levi made a mental note about that.

He then left behind Hange's shrilling coos and Ymir's bratty replies, taking a step closer to the house he had grown up in.

It was dark now and seemingly empty, but years ago it was always filled with light. It was filled with life - his mom's cheerful laughter, his uncle's merry jokes, Levi's own insistent, curious questions about everything he encountered. It was filled with love— but now, it was just a house - old and cold.

Although, other than that, it looked exactly like Levi had remembered. A light green house in the suburbs, with a garden, little white fence and even playground, all of it was a gift from Uri Reiss, the only real friend his uncle had.

Oh, how his mother loved that house. How she enjoyed tending to the garden, how she laughed when she watched Levi play on a swing. They were happy in this house, the happiest Levi had ever been.

Standing before it now, after so many years, felt strange. Noticing all the little signs that someone had been looking after the house - the lawn was moved, the trash sorted and neatly packed, even the lane was swept - was even stranger. And he used to think that Kenny had sold the house long time ago. Evidently, the old bastard was more sentimental that he let on.

"Hey," a gentle voice was in his ear, strong hands on his shoulders. "Do you need a moment or—"

He was grateful for Hange's concern. But that concern - as sweet as it was - was misplaced. They didn't have time for it.

"I'm fine," he assured, lamenting that he was too prideful to take Hange by the hand. Not that he needed it, but— it certainly would make him feel better. "Let's get moving."

They did, all three of them in perfect unison, and be it her detective's sense or simple intuition, or, perhaps, Hange really could read him as easily as a book, but she took her hand in his, squeezing his palm reassuringly. It certainly worked, her touch was like a magic that chased away the tense feeling in his muscles. Now, Levi could almost breathe freely.

When they reached the door, Hange lifted her free hand, probably with intent to knock. What a dork, Levi thought fondly. Pushing her aside, he kicked the door open with one mighty hit of his leg.

"Levi!" Hange yelled in shock. "You can't just—"

"My house, remember?"

Without another word, Levi passed the threshold, Hange and Ymir trailing after him.

Even engulfed in darkness, the inside of the house looked just like he remembered - soft, crème carpet under their feet, fern that had grown so much bigger standing near the door, a photo of—

Oh. Levi averted his eyes with lightning speed. The last thing he wanted to do was to start crying. Especially with Ymir present.

The house seemed emptier with each step they took. Doubt started to arise within Levi, and along with it - his anger. If that son of a bitch lied to him—

But then he heard it. Just at the edge of his hearing, but that sound was as familiar as it was unmistakable. The sound of Kenny playing with his lighter.

He hurried in the direction of that sound, it led him to the living room. The room was dark, the only source of light was the old TV-screen that did a very poor job of illuminating the rest of the room. Levi could barely see the outlines of the couch, but the figure lying on it— oh, Levi knew it so well.

The sight of Kenny with a bottle of beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other was all too familiar. And just as infuriating. Still holding onto Hange, Levi marched to his uncle with the full intent of kicking his insolent ass.

Kenny shot to his feet moments before they reached him.

"Levi!" he spread his arms in a greeting gesture. Levi's scowl darkened. "You brought friends!"

"Kenny—"

"And before you or your detective—" Kenny swept his eyes all over Hange, his grin growing, "friend punch me, let me show you something."

"Something?" it came from Hange, who sounded simultaneously intrigued, cautious and fucking furious.

"Someone," Kenny corrected with an enigmatic wink. Before Levi or Hange could force him to explain, he shouted, his voice carrying over the entire house, "Girl! Come here, you have guests!"

There was a beat of silence, then, they heard a sound of hurried footsteps that came from the upper floor. Levi held his breath. Hange did too, and, holding her hand, he could feel her pulse beating strongly.

At last, the door to the living room opened.

"What the hell do you want from me again?"

Levi's jaw dropped. Dressed in lilac top and shorts, with her hair up in a messy ponytail she looked a bit different from the perfect girl from the photos, but truth was impossible to deny.

Before them— in the flesh, stood Historia Reiss.

#fuck i don't have a silly joke this time soooo just enjoy?#levihan

55 notes · View notes

imagine-a-life-like-this · 3 years

Text

Used To It (M.YG)

Warnings : mentions of an abusive relationship, fighting, swearing

Synopsis : he needed a girl to leave him alone, she wanted people to know she was over her ex. they needed each other, so they agree to pretend to date. but was it ever pretend?

Word Count : 2537

“I need you to be my girlfriend. Just until graduation.” I’m not sure what was going through my mind when I agreed, but it honestly worked out for me. I had just gotten out of a rocky relationship; a breakup that spread across the campus as fast as a wildfire. Jackson seemed to move on quickly, being seen with a new girl every week, whereas I tried to keep a low profile and focus on my studies so I could graduate next year. Because of that, everyone thought that I just couldn’t move on. Girls would talk about their nights with Jackson near me, expecting a reaction from me to no avail. So the fake relationship helped me as well.

I barely knew Yoongi when he asked me to act as his girlfriend. I knew him through mutual friends and had met him on a few occasions, but he always seemed standoffish, so I never pursued a friendship with him. “This girl in one of my classes won’t leave me alone. I figured having a girlfriend would change that.” He told me. Yoongi was similar to me in the way that he just wanted to focus on graduating, seeing as his graduation was less than a year away. “And you said you were tired of people thinking you weren’t over Jackson.” He continued, but I was already sold.

“Can you at least seem happy to be with me.” I joked as the two of us took our seats at a table in a café just off campus. We decided to start with being seen together so our relationship would seem more believable. I’ve been spending almost everyday for the last 3 weeks with Yoongi, mostly consisting of us studying, but I don’t think I’ve seen him smile once.

“That’s not my style.” He said casually, opening one of his notebooks he had with him and started looking over his notes. I sat back in my chair and just watched him for a bit before opening one of my textbooks. I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t handsome. It was obvious just by glancing at him that he was a good-looking guy, and girls let him know. Either he never noticed the stares and the whispers, or he just really didn’t care.

“You should have some water.” I softly said some hours later, placing the cup of water I grabbed for him in front of him. For the first time since we sat down, he looked up at me with a tired look in his eyes. “I know you have an important test tomorrow but take care of yourself.” I smiled at him and took my seat again.

“Thank you.” He said with some semblance of a smile on his face. “Oh wow I didn’t realize the time. I should walk you back to your dorm.” He started closing his books and packing them away in his bag before chugging the water I gave him. I chuckled to myself and packed my books away as well.

“You don’t have to, Yoongi.” We both stood from the table and he shook his head.

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk back alone.” Hearing him say boyfriend out loud caused my stomach to flip, but I chalked it up to the amount of coffee I had drank throughout the day. Still, I didn’t argue further and the two of us headed out into the night and back to campus.

I should have known then that this wasn’t a good idea. From the beginning I had feelings for him, but I still went through with acting as his girlfriend as if I could just walk away when it was all over.

“So we breakup and you just think you can go and date?” Jackson said as he plopped into the seat across from me. Yoongi would be back in a couple minutes as he had just gone to the bathroom, but I take it from the look on Jackson’s face that he knew that. “You’re my girl.” He really emphasized the word ‘my’ when he spoke, and it caused me to let out a small laugh.

“Ah yes, because you’ve been alone these last few months.” I scoffed and tried to get back to my homework, but it was hard to focus with his gaze on me.

“You know those girls don’t compare to you.” I looked up from my books again.

“Well that sucks for you. Yoongi is a better boyfriend than you’ll ever be.” I could see the look of anger cross his face as I said that. He stood from the table abruptly and yanked the book out of my hands, throwing it the floor in a rage before roughly taking my face in his hand.

“You are MY girl. No one else can have you.” The venom I had grown used to over the years we were together dripped from his lips. I spent years cowering in fear every time he’d speak to me like that, but I knew he wouldn’t try anything with all these watchful eyes staring at him.

“Actually, she’s my girl.” My stomach did flips when I heard Yoongi’s familiar voice dripping with anger. “And I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your hands off her.” He stepped in between Jackson and me.

“You seem proud to have my sloppy seconds.” Jackson smirked, but before he could cross his arms over his chest in victory, Yoongi punched him in the face, causing me to leap from my seat and in between the two to stop Yoongi.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Yoongi kept looking past me at a now bleeding Jackson, so I placed my hands on the sides of his face and made him look at me. The anger in his eyes dissipated when they met mine. “Let’s pack up and go somewhere else.” He just nodded, apologizing for causing a scene. “Jackson’s the one who should apologize.” I smiled, swinging my bag over my shoulder.

“Was he always like that?” Yoongi hesitantly asked as we started walking nowhere in particular.

“Not in the beginning. But the last year of our relationship, I suppose you could say he was abusive and controlling. That’s why I broke up with him.” Yoongi stopped in his tracks.

“Wait, you broke up with him?” I chuckled and nodded, continuing to walk backwards so I could still see Yoongi. “That’s not what I should have gotten from that.”

“It’s fine. I’m not traumatized or anything. Shit happens. You just gotta move on.” Just as I finished my sentence, I tripped over a rock and Yoongi was quick on his feet, wrapping his arms around me before I could hit the pavement. He unwrapped them from me just as quickly when I got my balance back.

“Be careful.” He said simply and the two of us continued walking, my heart threatening to beat right out of my chest.

I sat on my bed, scrolling through all the photos the two of us took on my phone. A few were sent to me from the others, gushing about how cute the two of us looked together. I smiled as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

“I still can’t believe the two of you are dating!” Hoseok exclaimed as our group sat around a table, waiting for the food we had just ordered to arrive.

“Yeah, I mean you two are as opposite as they come!” Jimin added, shaking his head. “Y/N is so bubbly and smiley all the time. And Yoongi-hyung barely ever smiles!” I linked my arm through his, causing him to look down at me but I just smiled.

“You get used to it.” I spoke. “Regardless, he’s really cute. And he’s a good boyfriend.”

“Just good?” Yoongi joked, raising a brow at me.

“He punched your abusive ex and he’s just a good boyfriend?!” Taehyung exclaimed. I chuckled at the memory that seemed like it happened a couple days ago but actually occurred a month ago.

“Whoa he did what?!” Jungkook asked.

“Oh yeah, it was really sexy actually.” I told the table, causing Yoongi to get slightly embarrassed and playfully push me away. “What? It’s true. I could have jumped your bones right then and there. No one has ever stood up to Jackson, let alone punch him.”

“Jump my- oh my god, Y/N.” Yoongi shook his head, but I could see a small smile dancing across his lips.

“You’re breaking Yoongi-hyung!” Jungkook joked, pointing out the fact that Yoongi just smiled.

“Who would have thought Yoongi would have a soft spot.” Jin teased, reaching across to poke his shoulder. Yoongi smacked his hand away and dismissed having a soft spot for anyone. But I knew I was slithering my way through his cold exterior, and that thought alone gave me butterflies.

Just until graduation. I kept repeating to myself. At the time it seemed like I had all the time in the world to make my way into his heart, but it seemed like the months passed all too quickly. “You aren’t going to watch your boyfriend graduate?” My roommate asked when she saw me sitting on the couch, the ceremony just an hour away.

“I think we broke up.” I whispered, the tears still falling. She immediately brought me into an embrace. It was never supposed to be like this. Everything was pretend; we were supposed to just go back to our normal lives as if nothing happened. But I grew attached to having him by my side throughout the 7 months. I fell in love with him.

“You didn’t have to come with me.” I thought out loud as we drove to my cousin’s wedding. Yoongi glanced over at me.

“I’m supposed to be your boyfriend. These things are what boyfriends do.” I nodded, keeping my head forward. We’ve been acting for 5 months now and in my opinion have grown quite close. He’s really been my rock during these hard times. He’s let me complain about Jackson and didn’t judge me when I cried about missing him when I was drunk.

After we parked, the two of us walked towards the doors of the venue side by side. As we got closer, he grabbed my hand and linked my arm through his own, causing me to look up at him. He was already smiling down at me and opened the door for us to walk through.

We spent the time before the ceremony mingling with my family, introducing my new boyfriend. Everyone was surprised to see me with a guy that wasn’t Jackson, so sure the two of us were getting married after graduation. “Well, if I play my cards right, the next wedding we’ll be attending is ours.” Yoongi said to my uncle who asked about how serious we were. My heart swelled at the idea of walking down the aisle to him at the end of it, but I caught myself before I got too into the idea.

“Everyone seems to love you.” I whispered as we took our seats minutes before my cousin was to walk down the aisle.

“The competition wasn’t hard.” He joked and I playfully slapped him in the arm, causing him to burst into a fit of laughter. It was the biggest smile I’d seen on his face and I swear time stopped as I stared at him in awe. It’s been known that he’s a good-looking guy, but seeing him smile like that, I couldn’t help but fall in love in that moment.

A harsh knock at the door pulled me from my memories. My roommate had left soon after giving me a hug, wanting to go watch her boyfriend walk the stage. I stared at my phone for a second, the lock screen being a picture of Yoongi and I at my cousin’s wedding, dressed to the nines. Whoever was on the other side of the door knocked again so I shouted a quick ‘coming’ as I stood from the couch. I’m not sure who I expected to see on the other side, but it definitely wasn’t Min Yoongi.

“You didn’t come to the graduation.” He said, not moving from the doorway even though I moved aside to allow him in.

“You said you just needed me until graduation.” I reminded him. We never discussed when this would actually end, or if I would attend his graduation, so I just assumed he wouldn’t want me there and stayed home.

“Fuck that.” He said, finally stepping in my dorm so I could close the door. “I got used to having you there these past months. You came to all my events. You were there to get me out of my head and remind me to take care of myself.” His voice was in between being angry and being soft. I was confused as to what was happening, but he kept talking, and I held onto every word. “I don’t want to go back to a life without you by my side.”

“What are you saying, Yoongi?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, feigning annoyance at his presence in hopes of protecting my heart.

“I’m saying I’m in love with you, dammit!” He threw his arms in the air before dropping them back to his side and looking at me with an intense look in his eyes. “I’m in love with you and I want you to stay by my side.” He practically whispered, stepping closer to me. I dropped my arms to my side as he placed a hand on my cheek and brought his face closer to mine. “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” He whispered and I nodded just in time for him to close the space between us. 7 months I acted as his girlfriend, slowly falling in love with him, and I only dreamed of his lips on mine. The feeling was so much better than I could have ever imagined.

“I take it you two made up?” My roommate giggled from the doorway. I wrapped my arms around Yoongi’s torso and rested my head on his chest.

“Yeah.” I said, still in a daze from the kiss we just shared. Yoongi kissed the top of my head and my roommate just shook her head and went to grab something before leaving again.

“So, I was originally going to move in with Jin after graduating, but I’d prefer to live with you so I can still see you everyday.” I smiled up at him.

“Are you sure? That’s a huge step, and we kind of just got together.” I laughed.

“Well, honestly I’ve considered you my girlfriend for 7 months now. I don’t think this was ever really pretend for me.”

“Me neither.”

“So is that a yes?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the hopefulness in his eyes and the excitement in his voice. I’ve gotten so used to his melancholy ways that seeing him like this was different.

“Yes.” He pulled me in for another kiss in that moment, and for a minute I could have sworn I was floating.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, you idiot.”

#used to it #bts #bts imagine #min yoongi #min yoongi imagine #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #kim seokjin

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whenyoulosesmallmind · 2 years

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would you like to share some songs you associate with your favourite characters and why?

part one (you are here!) | part two

okay, anon, anon, my dear my lovely anon, you've gotta know that giving my most loved their own little soundtrack is one of my favourite things to do - so, buckle up! that said, since at the moment i have a huge transformers themed brainrot, this will be mostly in reference to my crack au in perpetual progress, but hold up for some unrelated special mentions! (i wanted to do them, but then it got too long, sorry ;w;)

let's start with an odd one: i first started plotting the au up with viva la vida on loop - not my usual kind of music and it doesn't have much to do anymore with the au per se, but it's a fun throwback

TARN, he's a fun one to pick music for, because in my mind he has a specific vibe that is a mix of an actually tragic character and the most stupidly comedic villain so his picks are all scattered over the place. anyway, he gets: 1. votre toast je peux vous le rendre (sang by a proper baritone this time!); obvious stand in for the empyrean suite is obvious, i love to imagine he'd listen to it and think he's cool like escamillo (bestie, you are josè at best <3), it plays right in into all of his delusions imho, 2. stars; people who pick the phantom of the opera as thee tarn theatre musical song i will personally fistfight you. THE lawful evil song - also tarn does parallel nice to javert, if you ask me, 3. tu grillo parlante; you're such a learned man / but that kind of violence / you so often speak of / we're feeling it deep inside / its sold in all the shops in the city / you should buy some, too / you'll see that you'll need it - local man preaches shit he's got all wrong, what will he do next? 4. video killed the radio star; man is so anchored to a vision of the world is blind to see how shit's changed, refuses to admits his own faults, 5. grace kelly/bathtube mermaid (i love both, i can't honestly choose); he’s worn himself so thin, a persona after the other, they’re all bleeding into each other - who are you, tarn, beside your desire to please? bonus track: Tarn & Kaon as il gatto e la volpe; second obligatory pinocchio reference but cmon: you won't regret it / we discover new talents and we're never wrong / we'll be able to make the most of your talents [...] you were so lucky to meet us / he's the cat and i'm the fox, we're a company (?) / you can trust us!, if nothing because imagining tarn and kaon as a couple of talent scouts of serial killers amuses me to no end. also it's nickel's nickname for them! except she's forgot it's the cat who's blind and the fox who’s got the limp, so she's got them switched out.

(i delight in thinking that, minus carmen's aria, tarn would absolutely loathe every song i picked for him btw)

meanwhile, DEATHSAURUS, he's a bit harder to choose for, he has less "screen"time in the comics, less fics and meta written about him, so i'm quite going more with my gut feelings and uh, mostly shit i’ve made up myself for his au version, that's it, i’m sorry. one thing i'll say, though, i think i read this fic (by warlordenfilade i think? i don't want to tag in case i'm wrong ;w;) where the author stated that deathsaurus' taste in music would probably be something like space nickleback and YES perfect headcanon, though i've cranked it up to space soad (who are actual soad, tbh, since. human au). this said, deathsaurus would probably like the picks i've got for him much more than tarn does since, musically speaking, i guess we're floating more or less on the same boat (by which i mean, it's absolutely nonsensical): 1. question!; this is more of an early life lingering feeling vibe that he's carrying on from being fresh off the MTO operating lab, seeing the war from the first time face on, raising the ladder to warwold commander and some of the insensitiveness (mental and physical both) he's developed through it. just. deathsaurus weird feelings time, 2. coming undone/right between the eyes; if i ever get to write the human au version of deathsaurus defecting this is going to be the soundtrack, full stop: the fed-upness, the rage, the blowup, it just fits in like a puzzle coming together (heh!), 3. falling away from me/lost in hollywood; if the songs from point two are the defection soundtrack these are the buildup: you’re trapped in a cicle of violence and the people who depend on you are all dying useless deaths, you have to break it but it is also the reality that you’ve known for all your life and shaped you as the person you are now, 4. i would for you; deathsaurus’ terminal “i can fix them” disease <3 bonus track(s): Deathsaurus/Esmeral as enter sandman; they became something horrible together, deathsaurus even has a couple of lines of the song tattoed on his ribcage - it used to be a favourite, you could even call it their own song. what has become of their relationship: should i stay or should i go? (and the obvious no children) Esmeral’s early pov on deathsaurus and tarn’s relationship would instead be something like somebody told me - because the army likes to gossip and i like some silliness in my drama. meanwhile, Deathsaurus’ early pov on tarn as a whole would probably be something like blame it on the girls and he would be right <3 ...and adding to the series of Nickel’s Nicknames, she calls deathsaurus capitan harlock mostly in reference to the italian version of the og opening, but the english one works as well, i suppose.

some misc: if you want to know what both NICKEL and KAON like to listen, put on some Raffaella Carrà; though nickel’s song is donatella or even lamette, tbh they’re both good for her. babylon gives me deathsaurus’ warworld vibes. i can’t point exactly out why; it’s not really in the lyrics. ride the lightning is how deathsaurus’ Thunder Arrow got its name. beside the note i made in the beginning, what actually kickstarted me to think of the whole djd as humans was this reinterpretation of un’emozione da poco (shrugs) and that’s why my version of human tarn looks a bit like Luca Marinelli ig.

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dragon-ball-meta · 3 years

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Yes, a Reddit post. I’m sure so many of you are shocked that our colossally bad take came from there, (and probably from Toyotaro’s burner account lol), but nevertheless, here it is. How to even begin to unpack this... Okay, here we go: 1. Goku’s was hardly the only one who didn’t want to stop Gero. Vegeta literally threatened to KILL anyone who DID try to stop them. Tien wanted to fight them to test his limits. Goku’s desire was to fight them, yes, hello, this is Goku, But he also refused to just find and straight-up kill Gero when he TECHNICALLY hadn’t done anything to warrant it yet. And, as we actually came to see, that’s not an entirely unwarranted stance; things changed between these two timelines even without direct intervention. Unlikely as it was, it was possible that Gero may not have gone through with it. There have been entire books and films on this topic.. 2. This stupid claim just refuses to die. At what point in any part of the fight with Goku and Cell was it even IMPLIED that Goku could have won? Goku stated he’d been going all-out in his fight with Cell, when the Cell Jrs arrived and started attacking, Goku was getting bodied even though they were only about as strong as Vegeta or Trunks, who were both far below him when at full power. Goku could not have beaten Cell. ONLY Gohan could. The boy even said that he’d thought Goku and Cell were both not fighting seriously because they looked to be moving slowly to him. Gohan was already stronger than Goku, before he ever turned SSJ2. Period. And for the love of GOD, STOP with this “severe emotional trauma” nonsense! Gohan had been watching people die, his friends no less, since he was FIVE. In fact, seeing that at FIVE is FAR more likely to have given him any severe and lasting emotional trauma. PICCOLO is more likely to have caused this than Goku. Yes, the Piccolo the OP even then tries to claim is the paragon of fatherhood. Gohan was already afraid of his own anger, he always had a dislike of fighting and hurting people. The thing that shook the boy the most was watching his dad die and knowing it was partly his fault. Even then, he grew up into a healthy, well-adjusted man with his dream job and a family. Just STOP pushing your headcanons onto him for two seconds! 3. THINKS he could have killed Buu. Opted to try to teach those still alive a technique that would enable THEM to kill Buu and keep protecting the Earth even after he was gone. Could have killed Vegeta, yes, and sent him to hell and left Bulma and Trunks broken-hearted. Instead opted to try to reason with him first and allow him to think he’d finally caught up to him so he’d stop obsessing over their power gap to the point of SELLING HIS SOUL TO AN EVIL WIZARD TO GET THE EDGE.. And now, for the completely asinine reasons Goku is eeeeevil: 1. You’re acting as if this isn’t just Goku. That is LITERALLY Goku. Always HAS been Goku. He treats EVERYNE as a peer and potential friend and ADORES the idea of trying to fight strong people. Note that he also ASKED for a spar, didn’t just “attack” or something. This also has nothing to do with a thirst for “power”, it has to do with Goku trying to test himself and push himself to be the greatest warrior it’s possible for him to be. This is the same mentality that had Goku excited for the Tenkaichi Budokai, that had him excited to face Vegeta, that had him spare Piccolo and Vegeta for the sake of rematch against such a great opponent someday. This is not some sort of development that happened post-Namek, and it’s by no means Evil. Also, how tf did VEGETA supposedly warn him when Vegeta was back on Earth and nowhere to be found? 2. Again... this is just Goku. This is how he is. That doesn’t mean he didn’t care about the plight of others though; Goku doesn’t just sit back and ignore suffering he’s been made aware of, and he helps his friends. But yes, the idea of facing HIMSELF was exciting to him; possibly his ONLY chance to compare his progress to another “version” of himself. And... I’m sorry, but Goku erupting into a fit of rage over his family’s murder is invalidated because he was mad it used HIS body? Really? NO KIDDING I’d be extra pissed if some psychopath took over my body and murdered my wife and little boy! Who WOULDN’T be pissed about that? The last thing his wife saw was her husband’s face grinning as he cut through her and their son. The last thing Goten saw was his daddy GLEEFULLY murdering him. The fact that he flew into the biggest rage he’d ever had since he first fought FREEZA over this shows how much that hurt him. The fact that you think it was entirely about the use of his body and not their deaths shows a piss-poor ability to analyze what you see on screen, ESPECIALLY as he was upset but mostly indifferent hearing how Zamasu stole his body UNTIL he told Goku he murdered his family too. THEN he flew into a rage. This is also going to invalidate an upcoming point, so pin this.

3. Aaaand... we’re right back to the Tournament of Power itself. The Tournament that literally no one foresaw as having those results. The one that as stated to actually buy one universe that was gonna be wiped anyways a fighting chance to survive, and later turned out to be a massive morality test to allow ALL of said universes to survive. Nevermind that though, this OP here asserts that Goku KNEW it would result in that, was TOLD it would even (he literally was not I am so sick of that claim), and didn’t even KNOW they COULD undo it and STILL wanted it! This is easily the most hardcore anti-Goku stance I have ever seen on this topic This isn’t just chiding him for being ignorant or not listening to warnings (again, not applicable), it’s accusing him of KNOWING Genocide would happen and actually WATING that in the name of a few fights. This being his stance is further illustrated by his assertion that Goku is indisputably a sociopath. Let’s look at the definition of a sociopath, shall we? “A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.” This is not Goku. OBJECTIVELY not Goku. Goku is far from anti-social, and very much has a strong sense of right and wrong, hence his desire to intervene when he comes across people suffering. Hence why he sought justice for the murder of Upa’s father. Hence why he felt IMMEDIATE REGRET after hearing what the consequences would be for the losers of the ToP, and WHY HE FLEW INTO A RAGE OVER THE MURDER OF HIS WIFE AND SON. Goku is capable of sympathy, empathy, and grasps the concepts of right and wrong. A sociopath he is not. And, of course, the stupid assertion that Goku is a bad father and Piccolo and Vegeta are the REAL examples of fatherhood... which is also erasure of Gohan and Krillin, neither of whom assaulted their daughters, tossed them into the wilderness to fend for themselves, forced them to be fighters and face homicidal aliens at age 5,or nearly let them and their mothers fall to their deaths because they were too absorbed with finding and killing an enemy to prove their superiority. To cap it off, Vegeta and Piccolo have somehow inexplicably become the “symbols of hope” in the series, trying to stop an evil, unhinged Goku from annihilating them all, and he asserts that Vegeta became the REAL hero during... the Cell Saga? The arc where Vegeta literally helped Cell become perfect? And was the hero in the arc where he sold his soul to Babidi, helped resurrect Buu, AND murdered hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people JUST to make Goku mad enough to fight him because he refused to? You know, the thing you actually used as a point of criticism for... GOKU, and are clearly abdicating Vegeta of any and all responsibility for? Folks, I’ve seen some bad takes in my day, but it’s very, VERY rare to find one this unhinged and frankly inept in one place. This is nuclear levels of Bad Takes here. Just... wow.

#Goku #Son Goku #Fandom #Fandumb #dbz reddit #why #Vegeta worship #Goku hate #Dragon Ball #Dragon Ball Z #Dragon Ball Super #DB #DBZ #DBS #Dragonball #Dragonball Z

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trainsinanime · 2 years

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With the recent german long-distance rail news, I have seen some people getting confused, so here a quick overview over the versions of the InterCity Express (ICE) 3 high speed train:

ICE 3: Class 403, but from 1997 to 2006 in two sub-series that differ mostly in air conditioning (the second one had good air-conditioning out the gate, the first one had weak air conditioning that was upgraded later). Single system, can only run in Germany (and up to Basel SBB). 50 sets built.

ICE 3M: Class 406, delivered at the same time. Multi-system capable, can also run in Belgium and the Netherlands. Three (originally four) are owned by dutch railway NS and have corresponding logos, but that’s more a financial thing and has no operational relevance. 17 built; two half trains were destroyed beyond economical repair in different accidents, so after a bit of reshuffling, 16 are left.

ICE 3MF: A sub-series of the 406 that used to be adapted for running into France. These could not run into Belgium and the Netherlands. All of them have now been converted back to normal 406s and the France services taken over by the 407. Six were converted from the normal 406, but all of them have been reverted back now. I’m just mentioning them here to confuse you.

Der neue ICE 3/The new ICE 3: Class 407, built between 2009 and 2012. Multi-system capable and approved for Germany and France. While it has the same length and overall concept, it is in many ways a completely new design with all-new internal components. This is now part of a train platform called Siemens Velaro, which has also been sold to other countries in more or less similar forms. A total of 17 were built.

ICE 3neo: Class 408, ordered in 2019 with first runs in service later this year (2022) if everything goes well. Functionally a class 407, but with an additional door with a built-in wheelchair lift, new seats, bike racks and similar enhancements. The trains will probably take over the running to Belgium and the Netherlands, and the 406s will be downgraded to domestic duties only. The initial order was for 30, but that was just bumped up in a press event earlier today (February 1st) to 73 in total, and it is possible that this increases again.

That means the ICE 3 fleet consists of at least two different concepts, the second of which could have been called ICE 5. Thanks to DB ordering a new upgraded version of the ICE 3 roughly once per decade without ever increasing the version number, we now have two different generations of “ICE 3 but new”. Oh, and until 2030, DB will receive both new ICE 4 and new ICE 3 trains, where the new ICE 3 trains are actually a slightly newer, more modern design than the ICE 4.

The difference between (new) ICE 3 and ICE 4 is that the ICE 3 is an expensive top-of-the-line highest-speed train (can travel up to 320 km/h/200 mph in France; Germany only allows 300 km/h/186 mph), while the ICE 4, despite sounding newer and better, is actually a more low-cost train designed for only 250 km/h/155 mph top speeds (some upgraded to 265 km/h/165 mph).

In summary, DB’s approach to numbering these trains is clearly taking the piss, and if you’re confused by it, that is because, as far as I can tell, so is DB.

#db #ice #ice 3 #ice 3 neo #ice3neo #train #railroad

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mwolf0epsilon · 3 years

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“Eps’s Notes on The Illusion of Living”

It's taken me nearly three months to get this done due to writer’s block kicking my sorry butt. But, as promised, here are my notes on the "Illusion of Living". Good god has this been painful… But I did have a lot of stuff I initially thought of Joey somewhat confirmed for me, and got a few extra interesting tidbits of info that I feel are very curious...

--{Key}--

Italics are my opinion

--{Key}--

--{Quick retelling of the book’s contents}--

The Drews were among the more impoverished families in New Jersey, and Joey's father briefly worked in the silk industry to make end's meet before opening his own shoe store (that his mother oversaw profits for as the accountant). As such there were obvious limitations to a lot of Joey’s upbringing (like a lack of toys to entertain him with, and very few family vacations/trips that were memorable).

According to Joey, the shoes sold at his family’s store were primarily designed for people in the working class (clunky shoes and boots that would endure wear and tear rather than be flashy or comfortable to wear, which Joey complained never really fit him right), and had one singular design that was simply improved upon rather than any variety (I suppose the saying here would be “don’t fix it if it ain’t broke” but Joey really seemed to have some sort of issue with this, as he disliked his father’s works).

Joey's mother was a hardworking housewife and the primary parent when it came to rearing her child. She educated and played with him more than his father, so Joey was much fonder and emotionally close to her than to him and, while Joey’s father wasn’t an absent parent by any means, he was definitely more engrossed in working to sustain the family.

This family dynamic definitely had some impact on Joey, especially since his mother got him interested in the art of storytelling in general, and he seemed to have a lot more respect for her than for his father. In fact he even had a few reservations regarding his father’s mental integrity when he discovered his talent for making voices in a rather odd manner.

It should be noted here that, while Joey's father was strong, he looked deceptively frail and wasn't considered a particularly brave man by any means. He was however regarded as a bit of an entrepreneur, and Joey was very concerned that he may not be sane (which was a bit of taboo at the time, considering treatment for mental health issues hadn’t advanced past lobotomies and other disturbing medical malpractices) because he talked and sang to himself in curious little voices while he worked. Curiously enough, while a patient and loving man, Joey's father wasn't aversed to cursing around his young son (although Joey himself doesn't seem to use crass language, even if it was normalized in the household). Another curious thing to note is that Joey greatly dislikes mud, and especially hated it as a child (alluding to his later obsessive cleanliness as an adult).

Because of the financial issues his family suffered through, Joey didn't have a radio or many books growing up, and was thus more fond of Vaudevilles (specifically theatrical comedy, tragedy, and bizarre/surreal acts) which were pretty common in his city of birth. This interest for theatrics and third person story perspectives mixed terribly with later events in his life, like how at age 10 he witnessed a potential murder/suicide (Jesus christ...). Through this event he realized that there were different kinds of people in specific situations, especially when faced with the finality of death. Joey goes so far as to describe how theatrical the death was (Almost sounding disconnected from the reality of the situation as he noted that the crowd and even his own father seemed more like characters to him than real people). However, since Joey's neighborhood was ripe with strange people, he wasn't unfamiliar with bizarre events happening around him. Seeing a motorized ambulance was more amazing to a 10 year old him than actually caring for the death of a stranger at the front of his father's store.

At age 12, Joey went to Coney Island for the first time, and the journey excited him greatly since he didn't get to leave home very often. The trip to Coney Island was magical in a sense, and later in life he hoped to replicate it in Bendyland to a more permanent degree (the trip back home ruptured the magical effect, which he didn't want to happen with Bendyland).

Joey has his own set of rules he plays by which he considers his life’s philosophy that he calls "The Illusion of Living". This was inspired by several events in his life, including his father passing the time by playing make believe (the Shoemaker and the Elves). This unique perception of what illusion and reality are (“the same thing”), seems to point to Joey having developed a dissociative personality disorder from a young age, which got progressively worse as he grew older. This in addition with the ADHD patterns he displays in his confusing rambling writing (and Joey rambles a LOT), and the almost OCD behaviour in regards to cleaning up after himself, indicates Joey lacked impulse control and was more prone to listening to intrusive thoughts.

Joey's view of reality was often confusing to others and he greatly enjoyed poking fun out of slowly getting them to his point of view. Conversations with Joey were thus quite frustrating to some, but no less curious to others that actually tried to understand what the “Illusion of Living” was about (Like Nathan). According to Joey, only a few people ever got close to understanding it.

Joey enlisted to fight in the first war after he lied about his age (He was 15 years old, a year younger than the required age to enlist at the time). Out of all the positions in the army, he seemed most interested in comms, and considered himself more decent in communicating than actually fighting in the front lines.

It seems like Joey greatly enjoyed how he looked in uniform, and was also particularly finicky about his looks in general despite being in boot camp.

He made friends in the army, Private Donaldson and Private Eckhart, which Nathan (who worked at the tech lab that Joey later worked for) attests to being accurately described in the book. They were slightly older than Joey and were also interested in communication tech and shared his sense of humor. They also influenced Joey's social life, and tried to get him to date some gals that he wasn’t remotely interested in (the first indication that he may not be straight).

Another close friend Joey had in the army was Lottie (a communications officer) and he used to "chaperone" her whenever the four went out to party. He seemed to have a considerable amount of respect for her (which is likely a result of growing up observing his mother, thus understanding that women were competent in positions where other men would scoff at the idea of them working at all). As such he was quite supportive of the War's “Hello Girls” (comms female officers). Interestingly enough this contradicts Joey's sexist persona that he seems to take on in Dream Come to Life (a mask that seems to be among many others he employs to fit in with the rest of society).

Lottie was his special gal pal in the platonic sense and, while he often ate alone to be left with his thoughts, she usually sought him out to talk to.

Joey only ever empathized with people he was close to, often reserving telling stories to comfort his friends specifically. It was the only way he could brighten their day (which later supposedly helped a disillusioned Lottie when she was sent to serve in London). What one could take away from Joey’s days as a soldier was that he was incredibly perceptive in terms of studying people. He easily recognized people’s handwriting, and was greatly fascinated by others’s personalities.

He could also easily charm people just from reading into what they might be interested in, and liked the thought of subliminally impressing others (which he later incorporated into his cartoons). It’s never mentioned, but Joey was likely honorably discharged since the war ended in 1918 and didn’t need to return to the service of the military when the second world war hit (keeping in mind Joey appears to have mobility issues later in life, he might have not been fit for field duty).

At age 19 Joey ended up involved in investigating the murder case of Walter Richmond, a signal corps soldier Joey met briefly in his service days. The victim in question was responsible for documenting the war efforts, not being necessarily that great of a photographer, but taking a certain amount of pleasure in capturing the most viscerally gruesome pictures possible for shock value. How Joey got involved was a curious thing in of itself, since he didn’t know the victim all that well, nor cared to get to know him. Detective Adam Sinclair (a tall hulking man wearing the typical trenchcoat and fedora combo, who’s most noticeable features were his aged face and unshaven 5’o’clock shadow) tracked him down to his little minimalistic (and obsessively clean and tidy) apartment to question him. Joey was initially unsurprised that an ex-soldier ended up dead (not from the war, but likely ptsd), and was instead surprised that it was a murder case. He ended up inserting himself into the case as Sinclair’s shadow to help solve it. The reason was mostly out of self-interest, but his perspective did seem useful to the detective in the end. Throughout the investigation Joey displayed a few particular traits that indicate his attentive and peculiar nature, such as the way he reads others (their way of dressing and upkeep of posture), the manner of which he judges a good handshake, his distaste for smoking (which was taught to him via the idea that if something smells bad it’s usually bad for you) and drinking (he tries to be careful with alcohol intake in general, as he’s more accustomed to beer than drinks like champagne which one could over-indulge recklessly without noticing). Joey’s fascination for taboo subjects (war, violence, and death specifically) is also noted when he observes the victim’s photographic works.

This is a prevalent theme in an art gallery event where these particular subjects seemed to linger strongly in his mind, to the point where he noticed when one of the photos he recalls having seen before during his brief meeting with Richmond, appeared to be missing from the display. A detail that appeared to be dismissed by others, but of great interest to Sinclair.

During this same gallery event, there was an incident set up by the murderer that involved a firecracker and a crowbar that set off a lot of panic. Joey’s work at the signal corps labs saved him from the brutality of the trenches, but he's apparently familiar with the effects of severe PTSD (And ironically notes that reliving the same painful event over and over again is his definition of true horror/personal hell).

It became very apparent to both Joey and Sinclair that the murderer was amongst them, and that this onslaught of panic was a message: That the murder of the frontline photographer was personal.

They did in fact come into contact with the perpetrator and, after a while of radio silence between Joey and Sinclair, the case was solved with...Minimal success. While Sinclair knew who killed Walter Richmond, he unfortunatelly did not have enough proof to convict her (the sister of a casualty of war that could have easily been saved, had Richmond not left him for dead because it fit his narrative of the war just fine), thus allowing her to get away with literal murder. Worse yet, the resolution of the case seemed to further disconnect Joey from reality and consequence. He gained a disdain for Adam Sinclair where once he’d respected him as an authority figure of sorts, finding that he’d accomplished his role and still failed miserably. In the end, the only thing to come out of teaming up with Sinclair was learning a social skill that Joey employed later on, by mirroring back certain aspects of a person so they’d be more comfortable around him. Otherwise the detective became nothing more than a distant memory. Unimportant in Joey’s later narrative.

Two years later, Joey started working for a bookstore where he began satiating his vast hunger for knowledge, now that he had access to all sorts of books he could never afford as a child. Joey is fairly well read with an interest in various genres, although it was previously noted that during his army service people made fun of him for especially liking fictional novels. Joey being Joey however, wasn’t overly fussed about others’s opinions on what he sought enjoyment from, especially when it came to storytelling. Aside from getting his reading quota filled out, his bookstore job also helped him develop his salesperson skills through reading his customers. Through his experiences with his father’s shop and shadowing Sinclair, he had by now understood that people were highly superficial, and that he could apply whatever knowledge he gathered from them into how he sold his pitch to them. His charisma seemed to lure in customers.

While working at the store he met Abby Lambert who he immediately noticed had an eye for art. Joey quickly became friends with her and seemed to greatly appreciate her no-nonsense attitude towards life in general, going so far as to respect her capabilities as a working lady where other men would be disdained with her difficult attitude. In fact, he wondered why anyone wouldn’t hire her to do a job she could clearly handle, just because she was a woman (again contradicting his sexist persona). As a connoisseur of the arts, Abby was the one to fully introduce Joey to her favourite craft. He especially took an interest in Impressionism and its influences.

Abby also supposedly introduced Henry to Joey, which the latter insists wasn’t really that remarkable of an event since Henry was “unimaginative” and “lacking in talent” due to his specialty in cartoon caricatures, and not the richer awe inspiring paintings Joey seemed to prefer (basically Joey spends any given time in the book trying to make Henry seem as insignificant as possible out of pure unadulterated pettiness, which physically pains me).

Ironically, in terms of entertainment, Joey later favoured cartoons as the more appealing form of films since most other mediums didn’t really spark his interest, even if the genres were ones he found fascinating (I suppose that despite films being works of fiction most times, Joey likely thought real life actors were far too limited in their acts due to the natural limitations of the human body).

Returning to Abby, her friendship seemed to be more impactful to Joey than most others. Like with how he preferred his mother’s company to his father’s, Abby seemed to be one of few people he actually felt comfortable around, to the point where her criticism didn’t bother him. She was also mindful of him, where she could recognize Joey’s “preferences” and made it a point to clarify to him that their outings were purely platonic so he wouldn’t get uncomfortable in those situations.

Three years after meeting Abby and Henry, Joey became a manager at the bookstore and Henry began working there as well (by Joey’s suggestion it seems), and only then did they sort of start developing a meek little friendship of sorts (although Joey seems very dismissive about it and focuses primarily on Abby).

During that time, the idea to start his own business came about from two different events that happened that year. The first being his first ever theatrical script that he wrote and performed with Abby at a gallery event. During the performance of this little play (the theme of which was an angel and a demon discussing their role in influencing a mortal’s life), Joey discovered that he greatly enjoyed controlling situations and got way too into it (even considers what he could get away with in the name of entertainment, such as if he could act out actual violent or scandalous behaviours if he proclaimed it a part of the show).

The second event was his father sending him shoes once a year (which, because Joey disliked the make of his father’s shoes, he tried to get him to stop by pretending they weren’t arriving at his address or that they were getting stolen). As a means to ensure he got them, Joey's father started sending the packages to the bookstore. A doodle and writing on the package ended up inspiring Joey to create his own studio as he wanted to take flight in the entertainment industry.

Having thus decided that he wanted to open up a film studio of some kind, Joey immediately set off to get himself a memorable mascot. He had a vague idea of what he needed and what might be appealing to an audience, but he wasn’t particularly skilled in character design and openly admitted to this. Abby, who was also not particularly good at drawing cartoons, understood that her more realistic style wouldn’t really help (or appeal to) Joey, so she enlisted Henry’s help. Knowing that Joey was a bit picky in regards to how he evaluated art, she thought perhaps she could persuade him to take a liking to Henry’s works (which he wasn’t particularly fond of, due to Henry mostly working with pen-drawings of cartoon characters and caricatures that looked very unremarkable to him) if he could only see him actually work his “magic”. Joey was reluctant to bring Henry into his business plan, but upon actually reaching a design within a few minutes (that took a few tries experimenting with animal and human features in more detailed and then simplified ways) of Joey giving some directions, he seemed to be sold on bringing Henry on board.

Henry designing the company mascot was thus the final push to open up Joey Drew Studios.

The two began their partnership not too long after, and from then on out things got interesting very quickly.

The history behind the studio is...Not an easy one to validate in terms of whether or not Joey is sincere or even really knows certain dates (the more I look into the beginning of the book and the later exposition of information, the more I realized either Joey was starting to trip himself up on dates or his memory was visibly failing him). There are a lot of discrepancies in the dates provided, with some going back on how long Henry remained in the studio (even claiming to have at some point surrounded him with other animators and even a lead artist a year prior to his departure), when Sammy and Jack were hired (He says he hired Sammy in 1929 during the Wallstreet Crash, but later says he hired both him and Jack after the Wallstreet Crash), among other things... Joey Drew Studios was primarily funded by Mrs. Richmond (the mother of Walter Richmond), as Joey had forged friendships with the people involved in the case he’d helped Sinclair investigate (including the murderer whom he had grown to respect).

While other investors aren’t really brought up, it’s implied Nathan also had a hand in helping the studio taking off, as Joey often met up with him at the Russian Tearoom whenever he could. During these private meetings, Nathan would impart advice on Joey. Advice which he seemed to not care for, as he already had his own concerns at the time.

It seemed that his main plan was to acquire a talented and capable team to achieve his dream. A team Joey thought he wouldn’t need to "baby-sit", as he specifically wanted to hire individuals that were as studious and capable as he saw himself (curiously Joey mentions that Henry’s work ethic was exactly what he wanted, as Henry had never held work back or needed to be checked up on, which to Joey was an invaluable attribute).

For at least two years, the Bendy Cartoons were nothing but silence and sound effects (something we actually see in-game in BatIM Chapter One when the projector suddenly turns on and we hear nothing but the clicking of the projector and Joey’s whistling), which put them at a bit of a disadvantage when it came to competing with other animation studios.

This soon changed when Joey came across Sammy Lawrence and Jack Fain at a party he was attending on his 30th birthday (which he wasn’t celebrating, the party was a completely different event so supposedly Joey doesn’t care much for his own birthday).

He was already familiar with Sammy’s musical skills (mostly playing the piano quite masterfully), as he’d seen him perform at the theater when Sammy was still a teenager. Noticing him and Jack at the party was entirely accidental and was mostly due to the fact that, while Sammy was trying to keep out of the spotlight as he played, Jack’s showmanship shone through and caught Joey’s eye with how boisterous he was in their musical performance.

Joey approached them once their act was done and managed to convince them to work for him. Jack seemed to be immediately on board, while Sammy was a little more guarded in his agreement and immediately set up his stipulations for the job. This seemed to lean Joey’s interest towards Sammy (who Joey was unhealthily fascinated with because he was clearly not an easy man to control) more than Jack (who he likely considered too easy a read in terms of character, thus not much of a challenge to sway or condition).

By 1933 Joey officially bought the entire building the studio was set up in (which up until then was occupied by other people seeking their own ventures). Expansion and new hires likely started a year or so later and continued on despite financial instability, and between 1941 and 1942 Joey was already starting to work out how he’d get Bendyland to be just as perfect and spectacular as he had always envisioned (which was difficult because he never really got it to feel just right in his eyes, and something felt off to him).

In between listing several different projects, vaguely describing an innovative techniques (Sillyvision which seems to be linked with the Golden Ink?), and even setting up his own 7 rules on how to animate to help set up a guide for aspiring animators, Joey slowly drifts away from the studio topic and finalizes his book rather abruptly.

He insinuates there’s a lot more for him to tell but little to no connection with the “Illusion of Living” philosophy and he’d rather focus on his actual physical work with the Studio than sit down and write further, so he finishes off on a rather...Vague note.

--{On Joey Drew}--

Year of Birth - 1901 (Day and month are never mentioned, but it's possible that his favouring of the autumnal season alludes to a fall month) Year of Death - ??? (Supposedly he's died, hence why Nathan claimed the Bendy IP) Birth City: Born and raised in Paterson "Silk City", New Jersey (Joey doesn't seem to have an accent, so he likely masks it, or made an effort to lose it). Physical Characteristics: As a child he used to have curly hair (Considering the era’s general fashion and style, it’s very likely that Joey either cut his hair too short to see the curls, or simply uses too much gel to seem more presentable) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Homosexual with Demiromantic subtones (Joey seems to be closed off in general, but more appreciative of the male figure. Could be interpreted as demisexual however, since Joey himself doesn't seem to like wasting time around people he doesn't have much of a bond with) Notes: Here are several notes I’ve compiled about Joey and his opinions on certain things and people. There’s a lot to look at as this man rambles like an old lady at a friday night bingo event, and thus I had a lot to take in!

Laughter is important to him.

Seems to be a dog person.

Likes Cheerios (yes this was a super necessary detail I had to jot down).

Considers having his ideas disclosed without permission to be disloyal.

Seems to have some sort of dissociative personality disorder (likely brought on by trauma or another undiagnosed mental disorder).

People-Watcher by nature.

Was taught by his father that the shoe makes the man (aka the art of studying people through their shoes).

Joey believes in the saying "The Truth is in the Pudding", a saying his mother often employed.

Never had enough money to own a pair of nice fitting shoes until he was 26.

Is narcissistically vain. Easily takes insult if people assume he can't look presentable.

His service in the army gave him experience with "experimental tech".

Enjoys music a lot, and he was considered a great dancer.

Finds modern feminine fashion standards appealing.

Disliked the way those with money romanticized lacking material gains. Found it personally disrespectful in a way, since he himself came from a poor family.

Seems appalled by too much color on one's wear (Joey is the goddamn fashion police).

Very picky about the arts.

Apparently disliked Henry's art style(???).

Lets people believe Henry is the creator of the toons, in an act of being holier than thou. (You lying son of a gun, stop lying to everyone and yourself whaddahell).

Joey's analogy of Henry starting a journey but Joey being the one to reap the benefits, is likely the truest thing he's said in this nightmare of a novel (boastful bastard...).

Thinks of Bendy as his firstborn, muse and messenger.

Took an art class with Abby (likely not a full art course, just a simple class to get the gist of it?).

Considers art the doorway to immortality.

Doesn't like post-mortem success (it frightens him, even). He'd rather be successful in his lifetime.

Admits to making mistakes, but not many. He also thinks mistakes don't need to be permanent.

Doesn't know what true rest is like, and is unsure if he'll ever be content enough to rest. On that same note he seems to really hate sitting still and his mind tends to wander, which he notes Nathan recognized with ease, even reserving a specific look for him (It’s the ADHD baby).

His friend Kyle was a lazy person and a gossip, which were traits Joey found annoying.

On their first meeting, Joey described having a desire to shove Sammy off a roof to see a more human reaction from him.

Assumes Jack is jealous of the attention he gives Sammy, or that the duo's relationship is strained, despite him barging into their lives out of the blue and making him feel like a third wheel.

Seems to think of himself as some sort of a messenger (going so far as to akin himself to the god, Mercury). His life’s mission is to help those who don't know they need to be helped (mostly through spreading happiness and laughter in such a dark and dreary era of human history). Bendyland is essentially Joey's means to fulfil this desire, as well as to chase his own need for a properly realized mixture of immersion and illusion.

He wanted Bendyland to be perfect, even the plot of land it might be built in needed to be perfect, so he inspected it himself with Nathan once he bought the deed.

Appears to refuse to call Bertrum by his proper name once he’s corrected the first time. Referring to him instead as either Bertie or Bert (toying with him perhaps? Testing boundaries?)

Doesn't drive. He instead hired a personal driver, Simmons.

For a little while he was living the American Dream, but thought of how he lived as less of a shared goal and more of a personal one (again setting himself apart from others).

His days were quite flexible and he seemed to despise set routines. He also doesn't like sleeping in. He liked to take a walk in central park early in the morning.

Joey used to make his rounds around the studio but the installation of the Ink Machine changed that habit a bit.

Nonchalantly notes that Shawn Flynn got a little defensive if he needed to be corrected on his work (OCD much, Joey? He was painting a lot of dolls by hand, slipups happen...).

He had priority meetings with Sammy, "meetings" with Jack (Sir what are these quotation marks for, are you snogging Jack while no one’s watching???), then met with the art department preceding the writing department, and finally he met with Grant Cohen in accounting to discuss finances and budget.

He had the final say in ALL paperwork regarding studio affairs.

Upon reading about it, found the concept of bringing in real animals to produce Disney's Bambi as funny, and joked about how trying to do so with Bendy and Boris would be chaotic.

Noted that Abby and Sammy were likely the only two people who closely understand the philosophy of the illusion of living, but not quite…

Was terrified of being misunderstood. Joey didn’t want to only be able to show half-truths, like a mirror reflecting the world darkly. Rather ironic considering he was quite deceitful in his adult life.

His desire for the world to love Bendy seems to be a projection of wanting to feel loved himself (quite honestly if one were to apply the theory of the id, ego and superego, it seems to me that Bendy is essentially Joey’s id, while Joey himself could be considered the Superego. The chameleonic social mask he wears is thus the ego. At the end of the day Bendy and Joey are and aren’t the same entity...).

Originally he didn't want to make a memoir (likely because he can't be direct and needs to work around the truth to fit him). It could also be that Joey didn’t want to linger on the past nor in death. He wasn't sure where it fit with his philosophy and thus tried not to explore too deep into it (existential dread?).

He wore custom tailored suits, and as of beginning writing TioL he had recently taken to wearing cravats (ever the vain man I suppose…).

Despite considering revisiting the past unnecessary, he couldn’t deny doing so if the time called for it. In fact, the Archives are Joey's memories of the past and he's sentimental enough to collect mementos of bygone eras.

Joey has trophies at home, the deeply personal things he couldn’t bare part with. Like the first sketch of Bendy, a napkin with the design of Bendyland, a letter from Henry, a ticket from a Vaudeville show, and his set of shoes he wore when he was surveying the plot of land where he planned to build Bendyland.

--{On Bendy}--

Notes: Here are a few notes I’ve compiled about the Little Devil Darling himself, and a few curiosities about his creation and the inspiration behind his character.

Bendy was officially created in 1928. According to Joey he was born of a dream, supposedly out of necessity, and he always had this idea of a little devil character doing mischief.

Bendy started off as a realistic little boy with a tail and horns (Abby’s attempt to bring to life Joey’s vague idea). Then, when Henry got involved, he became a cartoonish goat creature. The concepts were quickly worked out from a toony clothed amalgamation of both previous concepts, to a more intermediate design more closely resembling Bendy, and then finally, after Joey requested a simpler more shapely and less detailed toon, Bendy became the iconic little imp clad in only gloves and bowtie.

Joey named him upon seeing the completed design. There are two origins for his name: That of Walter Benjamin Richmond, who’s nickname in life was “Bendy” (a rather morbid homage considering what happened to him), and the mere fact that in Joey’s eyes, his little cartoon imp “bent all the rules”. Henry seemed to appreciate the name.

Bendy is meant to be the devil on one’s shoulders, much like the devil in Joey’s first theatrical play. He is however, a lot more like a little kid playing pranks on people. He is also a sort of embodiment of both the population and human morality (society at its most flawed point, but also quite relatable).

Buster Keaton was an inspiration for Bendy’s many shenanigans and movements, which were always meant to be fluid and a bit bouncy.

--{On Henry Stein}--

Year of Birth - ??? (It’s never mentioned how old Henry is, but I assume he’s around the same age group as Abby, since they were friends and likely went to the same art course. It’s likely that he’s younger than Joey, but not likely by much.) Year of Death - 1963 (It’s not really confirmed if Henry died when he was put into the Cycle, as he doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about himself, but it’s safe to assume the process very likely involves human sacrifice). Birth City: ??? (Unknown, it could be that he was born and raised in New York but Henry lacks a noticeable accent) Physical Characteristics: Average looking? (Irrelevant, he could honestly look like anyone really...) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Presumably Heterosexual (He’s a married man in the 1930s-1960s, he’s either straight or hiding his sexuality, he seems to really like Linda however so could go either way really...) Notes: Here the few notes I could gather of the Henry info we got from TioL. It’s not much but its at least something to work with!

Henry is unremarkable appearance wise (to the point Joey forgot his face easily at first).

The way Henry dressed (mismatched and ill-fitted) indicates he likely grew up in poverty and likely only had hand-me-downs.

He mostly worked with pen-drawn cartoon character designs that were unremarkable but distinctly caricature-like (the Butcher Gang concepts were likely displayed in the gallery Joey attended, as noted by a comment he makes about them). Even if Joey apparently didn’t particularly like his style, Henry’s artwork was one of the final inspirations for the creation of Joey Drew Studios.

He is described as able to draw quite fast, great at taking directions, and as being a good animator. Overall Henry never really had any real need for someone to keep an eye on him which made him an exemplary worker.

According to Joey, Henry used to give pep-talks before he left the studio. This seemed to annoy Joey considerably for some reason (perhaps he was envious that Henry was generally a more likeable person).

Henry is remembered as forgettable, whereas Joey is flashier and more memorable.

Interestingly enough, Henry never claimed to own the design of Bendy, and was more interested in being business partners with Joey than starting a fuss about who owned the rights to Bendy’s creation (It’s very likely that he willingly gave Joey the design because Bendy was his character, and that instead the designs Joey did steal were that of Boris the Wolf, Alice Angel, and the Butcher Gang, the five other more notorious characters in the Bendy franchise).

--{On Abby Lambert}--

Year of Birth - ??? (It’s never mentioned how old Abby is, but I assume she’s around the same age group as Henry, since they were friends and likely went to the same art course. It’s likely that she’s younger than Joey, but not likely by much.) Year of Death - Possibly 1946 (Upon finally losing himself to the ink, Sammy seemed to have been actively hunting the Art Department and any stragglers that he encountered in the studio, so it can be assumed she died in the chaos) Birth City: ??? (Unknown but more likely to be born and raised in New York than Henry) Physical Characteristics: Frizzy hair, even when bobbed. Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Potentially Bisexual (She seemed to be acutely aware of Joey’s “peculiarities” so it’s possible she’s either a member of the LGBTQ community or perhaps an ally. Whatever the case it’s up for debate and interpretation.) Notes: Here are several notes I’ve compiled about Abby and some of her traits and mannerisms. There was surprisingly a lot more to work with than I expected.

She wasn’t really into the typical female fashion of the time. In fact, Abby wasn’t exactly fond of the typical mannerisms associated with women and was both notoriously rude and dressed herself in a “scandalously” modern manner (which is basically code for more practical less femenine clothing).

According to Joey, Abby is a very focused and determined person, which is why he admired her greatly. She didn’t know when to quit, however, and sometimes took things too far or involved others in situations or projects they didn’t want to be involved in.

She wasn’t very good at drawing original cartoon characters, and Joey was apparently not overly fond of her attempts at putting his ideas to paper due to her more realistic art style.

Abby was very insistent on Joey looking at Henry's works, even if he wasn't particularly interested in them (While it’s never said if she enjoys his art herself, it can be assumed she appreciates it enough that she’d want their mutual friend to see the potential Henry had).

She didn’t join the studio as the replacement Director of the Art Department until 1931, as during its founding she was still finishing art school. She and Henry never worked together. Despite this, she and Henry remained in touch even after he left for Pasadena.

--{On Sammy Lawrence}--

Year of Birth - ??? (From how Joey describes him, it can be assume Sammy was a teenager around either Joey’s early or late 20s before they officially met on Joey’s 30th birthday) Year of Death - 1946? (Sammy is one of few people who was turned without being killed first so it’s hard to tell if he’s really dead even within the Cycle since it’s a time loop...) Birth City: ??? (Sammy lacks a noticeable accent so it’s hard to tell where he’s from). Physical Characteristics: Has been described as bird-like and insect-like, with either brown or blond hair that’s kept longer than the typical fashion of the time (Not much more is known about his actual appearance but it can be assumed he’s either average sized or on the tall side considering his in-game height and build) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Potentially Biromantic with a lot of Demiromantic subtones. Possibly Asexual? (Again this is pure speculation on my part because he did seem interested in Susie but isn’t really a people person in general. Does seem to know how to reign in people tho, so ???) Notes: Here are a few curious notes I’ve compiled about Sammy, the circumstances behind his hiring, and how much control he actually had as the music director.

He has an unusual appearance that, while not necessarily described as ugly, was clearly outstanding enough that some people were put off (Buddy) and others thought him handsome (Susie). His hair is also described as messy.

Sammy is an avid smoker.

He was among a few other musicians employed by the theater to drown out projector sounds and match the mood in silent films. Because he was good at improvising music on the spot, Sammy was excellent at carrying the story presented on screen through his melodies, which was what caught Joey’s eye when he first saw Sammy perform.

Sammy also recognized Joey and didn’t believe his dismissal that he was a “town person”. In fact, Sammy pinpointed the recognition to the fact Joey was that one loner that sat in the front row of the theater he played at.

It becomes very apparent that Sammy is suspicious of people in general. The way he observes others indicates he’s had some sort of struggle growing up. As such, he’s not big on sustaining conversations and he managed to aggravate Joey slightly by the way he addressed him on their first proper meeting.

Sammy had a songbook he shared with Jack, meaning they had a strong trust bond, which is why he only agrees to work for Joey based on Jack’s willingness to also be hired. Even so, he immediately set up professional boundaries for his position. He hired his own people without Joey’s interference, and he only ever indulged him if Joey was being particularly exasperating.

It’s very likely that since Sammy was the one hiring who worked for the music department, that he was the one who hired Norman Polk. This theory is made stronger by the fact he immediately demanded a projector and projectionist booth so he could better do his job.

Despite his surly disposition, Sammy is a no nonsense sort who wants things done and over with, rather than sit around and stall. As such Joey considered him one of the best decisions he made in terms of career.

Funnily enough, because the band seemed to be skittish around Joey, Sammy specifically prohibited his presence in the music department unless they had a scheduled meeting. This likely meant Joey was scarcely ever seen in the music department so as to not aggravate Sammy in person.

Alice Angel’s bigger (and failed) presence in the franchise is likely a consequence of another one of Sammy’s stipulations upon being hired. He had immediately noted that if the studio wanted to go anywhere, they’d need a female character (Perhaps Sammy really believed what he told Susie due to despising Bendy and actually favouring Alice as a character).

--{On Jack Fain}--

Year of Birth - ??? (Possibly around the same age as Sammy or a little older?) Year of Death - ??? (He was gone long before a few other people in the studio, likely in the first few experiments Joey performed) Birth City: ??? (Hard to tell, he doesn’t have an easily identifiable accent). Physical Characteristics: Has been described as an atrocious dresser (This man likes wearing bright colors!) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Potentially Homosexual subtones (Not enough information provided to tell) Notes: Sadly lacking in the information department for Jack.

Jack is incredibly sociable and trusts easily. He's described as making bad jokes but laughing genuinely at them. His smiles are contagious.

Jack is an optimist sort who sees the good in any situation (even when being led around in a dark creepy room by a peculiar stranger).

--{On Bertrum Piedmont}--

Year of Birth - ??? (He was retired, so it’s likely he was around his 60s or early 70s when Joey first met him) Year of Death - ??? (It’s unknown when exactly he ended up in the Ink Machine but it’s very possible he was killed when all hell broke loose in the studio) Birth City: ??? (No clue). Physical Characteristics: Joey describes him (rather rudely) as a very portly man. Sexual/Romantic Preferences: ??? (No idea, chief...) Notes: Lacking in the information department like Jack, but what we get is a lot more substantial.

Bertrum was actually retired when Joey managed to get a hold of him. It took a bit of detective work on Mrs. Rodriguez's (Joey's secretary) part to actually find him as well, so he was not an easy man to get an appointment with.

His creative vision impressed Joey enough that the latter he ignored his apparent dislike for reminiscing so as to get him on board of the Bendyland project.

While discussing the Bendyland Project, Bertrum confidently jokes about it being quite the catch. He agrees to joining forces with Joey as long as he gets full creative control of the entire project. Although Joey agreed to this, he still managed to fight Bertrum on a few ideas, which annoyed him greatly.

It’s very likely that it didn’t take long for their initially friendly relationship to sour into open hostility on Bertrum’s part.

--{On Wally Franks}--

Year of Birth - ??? (No clue, but he was very likely in his late teens or early adult years when he was first hired as the studio Janitor) Year of Death - Supposedly still alive (I really do hope he got outta there like the letter insinuates...) Birth City: Brooklyn, New York. Physical Characteristics: ??? (All we know is he likely wears overalls and a sport’s cap) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Possibly Heterosexual (Unless the letter is a forgery, he apparently has a wife, kids and grandkids) Notes: I’ll admit I didn’t expect to get Wally lore, but here we are!

Wally's actually quite skilled with maintenance. He can tinker with the projectors, other machinery and even plumbing. His schedule is a little off however, but Joey turns a blind eye to it because he gets the job done without question.

--{On Allison Pendle}--

Year of Birth - ??? (No idea! But she was relatively well known when she was hired!) Year of Death - ??? (She was likely lured back to the studio after everything went down but before Henry) Birth City: ??? Physical Characteristics: She’s a beautiful tall blonde according to DCTL Sexual/Romantic Preferences: ??? (She and Thomas are married but I honestly have no clue how to feel about her, she’s a mystery to me.) Notes: Extra minimal Allison lore for your Allison Pendle lore needs.

She was a famous Broadway actress before joining the studio. Interestingly enough, Joey was the one to hire her to replace Susie, not only breaking Sammy’s stipulation on the matter but also stirring Susie into becoming resentful towards Sammy and actually trying to recover her former role at all costs (even her own life).

--{On Nathan Arch}--

Year of Birth - ??? (He was likely a little older than Joey since they were in the army at the same time but Joey lied about his age to enlist earlier) Year of Death - N/A (Still alive and kicking) Birth City: ??? Physical Characteristics: ??? (I guess Boswell Lotsabucks is sorta modeled after him so go off on that???) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Heterosexual (He has a wife and son and doesn’t give me any other vibes besides and overall instinctual distrust) Notes: Oh boy...I do NOT trust this man...

Immediately upon beginning reading TioL you get the impression that Nathan is not only trying to appear friendly and trustworthy by referring to himself as Nate A, but also that he’s trying to cover for Joey and make him appear more personable to the reader. But to what gain exactly?

Nathan is, like Joey, very narcissistically vain, and is also writing a book of his own (an autobiography maybe?)

He’s a smoker and prefers cigars.

When Joey discusses his childhood, Nathan is unable to contradict or confirm anything as he noted that Joey was always very private about his origins.

Nathan seemed truly surprised and impressed with Joey’s ability to make up uncannily believable stories, even suspecting that his accounts of “Lottie” might have been false as he couldn’t find any of the supposed letters Joey sent her when he started working on republishing TioL (it’s likely he could see that Joey often lied to himself just as much as he lied to others).

It seemed to Nathan that Joey was rather oblivious of subtle compliments.

By the manner of which Nathan phrases it, he seems to think of Joey as a professional and kind man, capable of seeing the good in others. That said, Nathan remarks that Henry's departure was a great betrayal for his friend, and that the latter shouldn't have been so "gracious" and "forgiving" towards him…

When the studio began to struggle financially, Nathan worried that Joey might not be aware of the issue at all, or that perhaps he was lying to himself to cope. He also later notes that Joey’s memories seemed to have deteriorated in his old age. He was often mixing up information and seemed rather guilty, which Nathan considering to be very unbecoming of the man he knew Joey to be.

A lot of the deeply philosophical Joey and Nathan interactions seen in the book might actually have occured between Joey and Henry (the "I think therefore I am" conversation is an especially telling one for me), hence why Nathan doesn't recall them. It also seems more likely because they contradict the way Joey portrays Nathan, but seem to fit his portrayal of Henry better.

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #BATIM #The Illusion of Living #TIoL #Notes #Reference

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horansqueen · 3 years

Text

Stuck With You - Chapter 14

Chapter 14: I Really Like You

🡪chapter 1 🡪chapter 2 🡪chapter 3 🡪chapter 4 🡪chapter 5 🡪chapter 6 🡪chapter 7 🡪chapter 8 🡪chapter 9 🡪chapter 10 🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

I really wanna stop, but I just got the taste for it I feel like I could fly with the boy on the moon So, honey, hold my hand, you like making me wait for it I feel like I could die walking up to the room, oh yeah

It's way too soon, I know this isn't love

I really, really, really, really, really, really like you And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too? I really, really, really, really, really, really like you And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too?

It's like everything you say is a sweet revelation All I wanna do is get into your head Yeah, we could stay alone, you and me in this temptation Sipping on your lips, hanging on by thread, baby

Who gave you eyes like that? Said you could keep them I don't know how to act Or if I should be leaving I'm running out of time Going out of my mind I need to tell you something

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The text message I got of Niall telling me to join him to his car made something stir in my stomach. I rushed to the bathroom to look at myself one last time in the mirror, getting on my tiptoe and pulling on my shirt slightly before quickly running out of the building. I heard the honk of a car and it made my heart jump so high in my chest that I thought I was about to throw it up. It's only when I got closer that I noticed he was not alone. There was a guy in the backseat, and the girl sitting nesxt to Niall was the same girl I found laying beneath him the other day. My smile faltered and I suddenly felt nervous but Niall moved his upper body closer to the wheel to look at me by the window.

"Hey Devie, you ready?"

I glanced at Mandy before looking back at him, sending him a shy smile. I hadn't expected to be stuck in Niall's car with two strangers but I was new to this school and if I wanted to get to know people, I knew I had to make efforts.

"Mmhm." I replied, taking a seat next to the guy who sent me a short nod.

"Okay, so. Devon, this is Mandy and her brother, Noah."

Mandy quickly turned around to take a look at me and sent me a smile. "We've met." she pointed out with a chuckle. "Sorry for the other day, I was a bit embarrassed to be caught naked."

My lips parted slightly and my breath caught in my throat. I sort of expected her to be an ass with me but the sincere smile she was sending me made me feel slightly guilty for thinking wrong of her just because she slept with Niall.

"No, it's cool, I should have knocked."

She laughed again, turning to look at Niall. "No, it's your room too." she corrected me. "It's Niall's fault, he should have told you."

"Sure, go ahead, pin it on me, i've got broad shoulders." he chuckled, glancing at her and making my heart drop in my chest.

Did he ever look at me like that? Was that feelings I saw in his eyes? And why did it even matter if he had feelings for her? I looked down and licked my lips, coming to the realization that it mattered because I liked Niall. I really really really liked Niall. Fuck.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Niall." Mandy joked, tapping his thigh gently. "You're forgiven, right Dev?"

I looked up and blinked a few times when she said my name and pressed my lips together. She was sending me an amused smile and I tried to smile back at her.

"O-Of course."

I felt something stir in my stomach and my eyes met Niall's in his rearview mirror. His gaze changed slowly into a fond look and my lips curled slightly more until he blinked a few times and glanced down. I looked down too only to see Mandy's hand gripping his thigh a bit harder. She moved one of her legs up, putting her foot on the bench before leaning her head against the bench, still looking at him.

She was pretty. She was much prettier than I always would be and I was well aware of that, and I just closed my eyes, trying to think about something else.

"So Devon. " I heard, making my eyes flutter open again. "What are you studying in?"

I turned to look at Noah and sent him a small smile. "Oh, art." I replied in a low tone. "Mostly painting and drawing."

"So, you want to be a painter? That's bold." Noah replied, running his hand in his blonde hair. "I'm all for following your dreams but do you have a plan B?"

"Yea, I'd like to work in a museum, maybe. Restoring historical works of art seems... very amazing." I explain, a bigger smile appearing on my lips.

"Devon doesn't need a plan B." Niall quickly replied, glancing again in his mirror. "She's super talented, she'll be a famous painter someday."

I felt my heart jump again in my chest and pressed my lips together as I tried not to smile too much. It was a bit funny since I was pretty sure Niall had never seen anything I had painted before, but I still appreciated the comment for a reason I ignored. Perhaps because it showed that he was not totally indifferent to me and knowing that he was ready to defend me on something like that made me feel special.

Of course, I knew that concretely, Noah was right : I would probably not end up being a famous painter and certainly wouldn't be able to live a decent life with the money of a few (if even) paintings sold, but it was okay, because I didn't want my biggest passion to turn into a job. I wanted it to remain a passion and a hobby, something I could do to let out all my feelings, something that would make me feel better after a long day or after a heartbreak. I needed painting like I needed to breathe and I didn't want to end up hating it. Obviously, sometimes it was frustrating when I wanted to pain something and it didn't turn out exactly how I had imagined, but It was different than making a job out of it and disliking it to the point of not wanting to do it anymore. If I lost my passion for painting, I knew I would lose a part of me.

It only took a minute of two before Niall parked his car and we quickly got out. I followed them to the entrance and we hopped in an elevator to reach the fourth floor. We could hear the music from the hall and I started feeling so nervous I had to wipe my hands on the back of my jeans. When I looked up, I met Niall's gaze who frowned as he mouthed 'are you okay?' and I just nodded, sending him a small smile.

I was not really okay but at the same time, i didn't want him to feel like he had to take care of me, scared that he'd never invite me again. The only thing that made me feel better was to notice that Mandy and Niall were not holding hands, or even remotely close to each other. I sort of had expected it but realizing I was wrong made me feel less stupid for accepting to go to this party.

The door opened and a whiff of cigarette and weed smell reached us. I was too busy staring at the guy in front of us, a large smile on his lips, as he greeted us with open arms.

"Niall!"

"Hey, Lewis."

They hugged and when Niall pulled away, Lewis turned to me. I didn't know why but I sent him a smile as his lips curled slightly into a smirk. "Devon, it's nice to meet you."

I frowned, a bit surprised that he knew my name, but kept a smile on my lips. Niall probably had talked about me before and since I was most likely the only one he didn't know, he probably guessed it was me, but it was still a bit intriguing.

"Oh, uhm, you too."

I was about to hold out my hand but he took a step closer and pulled me into a hug. His hoodie smelled nice and I chuckled, hugging him back.

"Okay, free drinks in the kitchen." Lewis let out when he pulled away. "You smoke your own shit though I don't pay for that."

Niall walked past him, putting his hand on Lewis' cheek and tapping it gently. "How nice of you mate."

I followed Niall to the kitchen and realized Noah and Mandy had left. I stood behind him as he searched for something specific (or it seemed) and when he turned around to me again, his gaze met mine immediately.

"No best way to get drunk than with vodka."

I chuckled and frowned, finding some space on the counter and pushing myself up to sit on it. Niall's smile faltered a bit and his eyes roamed on me before turning around to grab glasses and filled them. He walked closer to me and I looked slightly down at him, taking the cup he was handing me. He clinked his glass against mine, the plastic of his barely making any sound as it hit mine, and took a long sip. I watched him and did the same, grimacing as the liquor left a burning sensation down my throat.

"So. uhm, are you moving out?" he asked casually before drinking more from his glass.

"I tried but I'm on a waiting list, sorry."

"No, no I think you should stay."

I waited until his eyes met mine and quickly, he shrugged and looked away. "I mean, we can just text each other when we have someone over. I'm sure it can work."

I felt my heart ache suddenly and lost my smile, looking down in my glass and shrugging a shoulder. What did I expect? Niall was clearly not going to admit he was in love with me and then tell me he'd never have sex with any other girl because he loved me too much! Then why did this scenario made my heart thump in my chest?

"Maybe. I don't know."

We remained silent for a few seconds and I felt him move closer to me, his lower stomach brushing slightly against my knees as a wave of warmth invaded me.

"Come on, I'll present you some people if you want."

"Mmhm."

He moved away and I jumped off the counter as an idea popped into my head. It was stupid and probably impossible but It was worth a try.

"Niall?" I asked, making him turn around and raise his eyebrows. "Maybe... your friend Lewis would need a roommate?"

His facial expression changed from confused to surprised but when his lips opened again, I couldn't really tell how he felt about my idea. It was probably a bad one anyway. I didn't know Lewis much and I was not even sure I could afford half of the rent, but if Niall wanted to get rid of me, maybe he could help me see if it was even remotely possible.

"Y-You want to live here? With Lewis?"

I shrugged as he took a step closer to me and I tilted my head. "I mean, maybe? It would be a solution. Just until they find a room for me in the girls' building. That way you can get your room back."

"But I don't-" he replied quickly, cutting himself and letting out a sigh as he closed his eyes. "I think it's a bad idea, Dev."

It took a few seconds but he opened his eyes back. They met mine and I sent him a sad smile, shrugging a shoulder. "Alright."

It was true, I didn't know much about his friend, but he gave me a good first impression and I thought Niall would jump on the occasion to get his room back if only to be able to invite Mandy (or any other girl) whenever he wanted to.

I followed him to the living room as someone handed me a beer and everyone started talking. After a while, I got up and left to go to the bathroom and when I got out, I walked past Lewis, sending him a small smile.

"Thanks for inviting me, by the way." I let out politely as I kept walking.

"Hey Devon!"

I turned around and he sent me a bigger smile. "You having fun?" he asked, his accent thicker than I expected.

"Oh, yes." I let out with a smile. "I'm surprised Niall invited me."

This time, Lewis laughed a bit. "I'm not."

I frowned for half a second and finally licked my lips, walking back slowly to him and shaking my head. "Look, this is going to sound so weird and, don't feel bad to say no but, wouldn't you be looking for a roommate?"

His smile fell slightly and his eyes roamed on my face, and it made me realize that he was quite pretty and I was not sure how I felt about it. He seemed a bit speechless though and I realized that I probably made him uncomfortable.

"Forget it," I added, shaking my head, taking a step back. "It was just something that crossed my mind."

"No, Devon, it's just..." he replied with a sigh as I was leaving. "Let's just say if I said yes, Niall would kill me."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, shaking my head a bit. "I highly doubt that."

"Dev, trust me. I know what I'm talking about."

I frowned and it only made his lips curl as he raised his eyebrows before turning around and locking himself in the bathroom. I remained there, motionless and lost in my thoughts for a few seconds, and finally breathed in deeply and walked back to the living room. This time, I stopped completely breathing when I noticed Mandy was sitting next to Niall, her legs placed on his lap and one of her arms wrapped around one of his.

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me but swallowed hard. I knew it was only jealousy but it was enough to make me want to leave immediately. I licked my lips and took big breath, trying to get back to my senses. I couldn't just rush out and leave without an explanation and I couldn't tell Niall I left because the girl he has sex with was all over him. Just thinking about it sounded ridiculous and I walked back to them, taking a seat on the floor, in front of the coffee table. Niall glanced at me and his lips curled slightly on the left. Could he tell it was bothering me?

Everyone started playing beer pong but with vodka and I watched them swallow the content of their glasses with a smile. I was not very good with drinking and could easily get drunk but I still enjoyed looking at them. Lewis came back after a while and handed me a beer. I thanked him as he sat next to me and when I turned back to Niall, he was looking at his friend with a frown. My eyes dropped to Mandy's legs still placed on his lap and I just pressed my lips together, trying to ignore it.

About half an hour later, I was leaning on the table, trying not to let my thoughts wonder too much. I looked at Niall who was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes and watching him being so drunk reminded me of one of the first days we met. He was drunk and had tried to show me his cock. Now, I was a bit scared he was going to show it to someone else. The thought of his half-hard dick pressed against me as he kissed me made my inner thighs throb again and I held my breath. I would never get over that.

"Mandy, you're definitely cheating!" Noah let out a bit too loud, moving his chin in his sister's direction. "That's fucking water, innit?"

"You're just pissed because I can hold my drink better than you!"

"Don't even try, you've cheated before!" Noah insisted.

I stared at the scene with my eyebrows raised, noticing that I was myself getting a bit too tipsy but it was clearly nothing compared to them.

"Want a proof that this isn't water?" Mandy asked, getting a bit mad.

"Yes!"

I didn't expect it at all when she turned around quickly and crashed her mouth against Niall's, quickly deepening the kiss as she held the back of his head to make sure he wouldn't move. I felt my heart shatter in my chest as an image of them having sex on his bed crawled back in my thoughts.

Everyone started yelling and laughing except me. I was not tipsy. I was drunk off my ass. How many drinks did I have? I couldn't count, but I knew it was partially why my eyes were filling up with tears at that exact moment. I was not dating Niall and I was well aware that he and Mandy were fuck buddies, so why did I become so emotional from them kissing? I was pissed but most of all, I was pissed at myself for letting something like that get to me again.

I had admitted to myself that I liked Niall and even if I knew it was unrequited, I was clearly not okay with watching him kiss someone else. Where did my resolution to do anything I could to hate him go? What the fuck was I doing?

I held my breath as they kissed, not able to let air fill my lungs, but it seemed like that kiss would never end and after a while, I put my beer on the table and got up. It was only when I reached for the elevator that I allowed tears to fall down my cheeks.

"Fuck off." I whispered to no one as the doors opened and I walked in, turning around to lean against the wall.

And I saw him. I saw Niall, getting out of the apartment and looking around himself until he saw me, and my lips parted.

"DEVON!"

The doors started closing just as he started running but I remained motionless, wondering if the doors would close before he could reach the elevator.

"Devon wait!" he let out, sliding his arm between the doors and making them open again. "Devie."

I let my eyes roam up and down on him, my mouth still half opened. He finally stepped foot in the elevator but remained standing up in front of me as the doors finally closed behind him. We started going down and he shook his head slightly.

"Devie, why are you leaving?"

I frowned, ready to throw at him everything that was actually wrong with him and not even feeling bad about it because of how intoxicated I was but I didn't have time: the power seemed to go off, the lights flickered and the elevator stopped.

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan au #niall horan enemies to lovers #niall horan college au #niall horan uni au #my fanfics #swy

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heloflor · 3 years

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Me : “I don’t think I should write characters that are explicitly neurodivergent because I don’t know that much about neurodiversity and I never take the time to know more. If I were to make a character who happens to have neurodivergent traits and call them neurodivergent, I might get it wrong and I don’t want to give a fic with bad or stereotypical representation in it, it’s unfair for those who can and wish to identify with the character. So if I write about a character that the fandom sees as neurodivergent, I will simply try to write them close to their canon personality; and if they happen to have traits that people can identify, I’ll just let other people do their own headacanons around it without touching on the topic myself.”

Also me : “So :

- Vinnie Dakota absolutely adores animals. In the future, all animals are extinct, so in order to see animals, you either get a robot pet or you pay to have some time in a “place simulation” room and order it to simulate a field with holographic animals. Dakota learned about animals through books and often went to the simulation place or bough some stickers and other stuff from the rare places that still sold animal merch. He never got a robotic pet or never kept it for long because it’s too dull compared to a real animal, or should I say his thoughts of real animals.

- During his first mission, Dakota was ecstatic to see animals for the first time and, after the mission, spent a few hours looking at and petting the ones he could. In his house in the future, he has a room in which he displays animal-related stuff he got from his missions through time, like art or figurines or ornaments or even plushies etc. He might also sometimes take pictures of animals and put them with the souvenir he got from the same mission. He takes extra care of the stuff he has in this room and organizes it a certain way. He has the money to have a place with several rooms : as we see in “Picture Day”, once they got fired, Cavendish and Dakota had the money to go to Hawaii for an entire week and without knowing when and how they will get a new job, since Bob Block met them as they were about to leave for their vacation. Also Cavendish mentioned studying for 20 cycles, so this job doesn’t seem like a given. So being a time traveler seems to pay well.

- When he and Cavendish started dating (I headcanon them as starting to date 2 years after meeting a marrying 3 years later, so 5 years after meeting), everytime they went through a century they never or barely visited, Dakota would get a random souvenir, not always animal-related, along with a picture of either him, Cavendish or both of them. He puts these souvenirs and pictures in a different part of the room. The picture we see in their car in “Fungus Among Us” is from a mission in a place they visited before, but Dakota found the situation too funny to not take a picture.

- Every celebration (holidays, birthdays, dates important to them), Cavendish and Dakota would give each other gifts. Dakota always tries to find something related to Professor Time while Cavendish forces himself to break a few rules and go back in time without being ordered to so he can find something animal-related to Dakota. Dakota is always genuinely happy about these gifts, though he learned not to tease Cavendish about the whole “breaking the rules” situation. Those gifts are either stuff like fossils or skulls/bones or they’re stuff related to the culture of the time-period like watching tournaments in ancient Rome.

- When the two get married and buy a place together, Dakota makes sure it has a room large enough to put his growing collection. As time went by, it started to be less about animals and more about what they find during their missions, though the animal part is still very much there. Dakota refers to the room as “The memory room” while Cavendish calls it “Vinnie’s room”. Cavendish doesn’t spend that much time in it, though he absolutely loves the feeling of reminiscence the collection gives him. If he has guests at home, he tries to keep them away from the room. He knows how important it is for Dakota and doesn’t want it to be disrupted. Cavendish tried to get into Dakota’s passion but, while he found some stuff to be interesting, he’s not really into it compared to Dakota.

- After the events of the episode “We’re Going to the Zoo”, Dakota brought back tickets for his collection, along with a picture of him holding squirrels in his arms while another one has its head coming out of Dakota’s pants, near his feet. Dakota went back to the zoo several times and ended up learning what every animal was and in which section of the zoo they were.

- When the two are fired and banned, they only get like an hour to pack all their stuff. So Dakota uses some future deus ex machina technology, making their house surrounded by a barrier that only the two of them can open. That way, nobody can touch the house and, if they were to be able to go back to the future, which seems to be the case if season 2 was already thought of when “A Christmas Peril” was made, Dakota could find his collection intact, along with the rest of the house.

- Once stuck in the past, Dakota kind of gave up on doing a collection. They don’t have enough space and the realization that Cavendish could now die anytime put a lot on stress on him and most of his thoughts were on Cavendish. This stress started to dim out after the events of the second half of the season, when Dakota realized that maybe the world was done trying to get rid of Cavendish, given how the man was able to survive alone for about a month. During the first celebration they had since getting banned, Cavendish bought something animal-related as usual and it led Dakota to wish to start a collection again. Given the space and their current situation, this collection would mostly be pictures that he can keep in an album in a drawer. Cavendish would probably be the one to buy the album after realizing that Dakota started taking random pictures again.

- At some point, Cavendish learns that there’s a petting zoo in Danville and decides to use it as a birthday gift/surprise. Dakota has never been more in love with him than during the moment when he stepped out of the car and saw the place’s sign (with the exception of their wedding and honeymoon).

…aaaannnd I just made Dakota have an hyperfixation, didn’t I ?

Though, to be honest, I really do want to write characters that are diverse, not only in terms of sexuality like I already do but also in upbringing and neurodiversity. Thing is, to write a neurodivergent character, I need to have the answer to these questions : How often do they stim ? What are the most common stims and what is and isn’t considered as such, aka what does the character does in the show that seems to be a stim ? How does the character acts/should act with others ? Which social cues do they understand ? Which ones do they not understand ? How to write a character that you can tell is neurodivergent without having to make them scream ‘I’m not neurotypical’; with instead having the only ‘confirmation’ of it being in the tags ? How to make them very excited about something without falling into the ‘autistic people are children’ stereotype ?

As long as I can’t answer these questions, I refuse to be an idiot and try to write about something I know I will mess up. And while I do have the curiosity and will to learn more, if not simply because I’m curious about neurodiversity, don’t expect me to write about it anytime soon. Right now my priority is to ‘digitalize’ all the dozen fics I wrote on paper (two of them had been in my writing pile for two years, and several for a year) while making the eventual post that comes to mind like this one.”

Edit : So a few weeks after making that post, I started to learn more about neurodiversity because being autistic makes you curious to know what kinds of behaviors are due to you not being neurotypical. And, as it had been pointed out, I’m not using the correct term here. I didn’t give Dakota a hyperfixation but a special interest. From what I understand, the difference is that hyperfixations stick to you constantly for a while (a few weeks or months), leading you to easily hyperfocus on the topic, before you suddenly start to get less invested in that interest. On the other hand, special interests can stick for months or sometimes years. And even if you’re not constantly thinking about your interest, it’s still there in a corner of your mind and you never get tired of it and keep the knowledge you accumulated to talk about it anytime.

So yeah, I gave Dakota a special interest. The reason why I thought it was a hyperfixation is because I see this term be very often associated with ADHD and a lot of people see Dakota as having ADHD. But still, my bad for mixing up the two. And the reason I didn’t edit the post sooner is because it kind of slipped out of my mind until I made a new post today that mentions this one. Sorry for that too.

#Milo Murphy's Law #Vinnie Dakota #Dakavendish #long post #I guess ?#headcanons #bonus headcanon : Cavendish has a mug collection #but never uses mugs #so Dakota uses them #sometimes taking a certain mug depending on his mood #so that Cavendish knows if he's mad or something #me : I don't know shit abour neurodiversity #also me : *was literally diagnosed as autistic*#though that might actually explain it #maybe I want to know more because of my 'collecting info' side #on top of wanting to be respectful #and curiosity

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