#they’re playing California girls in his ear

[tasteracha]

painting

word count: 1.9k

pairing: lee minho x reader x kim seungmin

warnings: afab!reader, double penetration, minor degradation, reader is referred to as good girl, unprotected sex, smut - MINORS DNI

synopsis: you did something wrong. or, alternatively, 2min are possessive.

“you know what you did,” are the first words spoken to you since you walked into the apartment that you shared with your two boyfriends. the words come from seungmin’s mouth, but the anger is written clearly into the lines of minho’s face. they’re mad. 

it took five times of you asking what’s going on? before they caved and told you, wanting to keep you on your toes for as long as possible. 

apparently, talking to your male coworker outside of work was a no-no, and you had just arrived from a work outing smelling like the one cocktail you had hours ago. 

it’s a game that the three of you play - you know you didn’t actually do anything wrong, and they’re not genuinely angry. they would never try to control you like that, and you wouldn’t stand for being told who you can and can’t be friends with. you would never cheat on them and they knew that. it just sends a thrill of exhilaration down your spine to think about them being so possessive that they don’t allow you to even talk to other men, that they could control your every move and decision and that you would let them. 

you’re sitting on the couch between them, and you waste no time leaning over seungmin’s lap to drag him into a kiss. you whine when his lips stay solid and closed under yours, even when you peek your tongue out to swipe at his bottom lip. 

“c’mon, you know i only have eyes for you two,” you try, rubbing at his shoulders. minho drags you up with strong hands at your waist, and you feel weightless for a moment before he pins you to his body. 

“you take what we give you,” he says into your ear, his voice deep and biting as he mouths at your neck. your breathe leaves you in one whoosh and you fall limp into his arms.

seungmin stands next, leaning in close to you and sliding a hand through your hair. good girl, he doesn’t say, the only bit of praise you’re going to get for a while. he takes your hand, releasing you from minho’s arms as he leads you to your shared bedroom, the clean california king welcoming you when you step through the door.

you’re dragged to the bed and unceremoniously thrown onto it, seungmin’s hands already removing your clothes as minho follows behind and digs through the drawer you keep your sex toys in. he hasn’t said what he’s doing, and the anticipation makes you shiver. maybe he’s going for the handcuffs? you certainly hope so.

“dumb baby just wants a cock to fuck, doesn’t she?” minho answers the question you didn’t ask when he presents a ribbed glass dildo to seungmin. “doesn’t even care whose it is, hmm?"

“clearly she doesn’t deserve ours,” seungmin hums in response, finally freeing you of your panties, dropping them into the pile of clothes he’s created on the floor. you hope he knows that he’ll be cleaning that up, later. he spreads your legs apart, fingers digging into your thighs even though you’re pliant under them.

“this is our property.” he almost snarls, and you jolt when minho’s cold fingers pry your folds open, rubbing at the slick there. “no one else is allowed to touch this.”

“it’s so wet,” minho bites, condescending and mean, making you shiver under his touch. “is this what happens when you’re spreading your legs for everyone? can’t stop yourself, can you?”

you’re manhandled onto your knees next, everything moving so quickly that you don’t know which hands are seungmin’s and which are minho’s. you shake your head, their words hitting your muddled mind late, swirling like a hurricane and leaving you overwhelmed in the best way.

minho’s hard behind you as he positions himself against your back, his bulge digging into you while he lines the dildo up at your entrance. he pushes it in fully, in one single swoop; its thinner than either of them, there’s no stretch or burn from how wet you are, but the fullness punches a breath out of you. he wraps an arm around you when you double over, keeping you in place as he starts up a quick pace with his wrist. 

seungmin presses himself up in front of you like a soldier taking position, his clothed cock pushing against your stomach as he gives you the kiss that he denied you earlier. his hands come up to your breasts, squeezing them between his long fingers; you know its for his own pleasure and not yours when he avoids your sensitive nipples completely. you have no room to move, no space to meet minho’s hands with your hips or rut into seungmin’s bulge.

you’re fully sandwiched between them, but neither of their cocks are in you and its unfair.

“please, min” you stutter out, helplessly riding minho’s hand as much as you can. it does nothing to increase the stimulation, and you want to cry with how desperate you are for anything right now. you don’t even know who’s name you’re calling out, the syllables spilling from your lips nonsensically.

“hmm, i don’t know,” minho says, putting his chin on your shoulder, resting it there in a way that would be irritating if you weren’t so fucking turned on that every touch to your skin makes your nerves sing. “what do you think, seung? does she deserve to come?”

“she seems to think that just anyone off the street can give it to her as good as we can.” seungmin says in lieu of an answer, trailing one hand down to rub at your clit anyways. “doesn’t look like she knows who she belongs to.”

“no,” your voice cracks, tears escaping out of the corners of your eyes as minho continues plunging the toy into you, just enough to please but not enough to make you come yet. you feel the heat building anyways, your stomach tightening in anticipation. “i’m yours, yours, please.”

“say it again,” seungmin growls, rubbing harder. “tell us who you belong to.”

“you, only you!” you cry out as you come, letting out a choked sob as you collapse against seungmin’s shoulder. minho fucks you through it and you shudder against seungmin as you ride it out, sighing when he relents and removes the toy from your pussy. he holds it up to your mouth, but before you can seungmin is taking it between his lips, sucking your juices off of it and moaning around the glass. your eyelids flutter as you take it in, hyper focused to keep it in your memory for as long as possible. minho blinks at him in shock when they meet eyes, mouth open as he takes in the image with as much reverie as you are.

you’re transfixed for so long that you don’t take in minho unzipping his jeans and lining up behind you, but you do feel it when he fucks straight into you, driving you further into seungmin as your body adjusted to being impaled again.

“going to take both of us,” minho breathes out, not moving, letting you warm his cock as seungmin deposits the dildo onto the bed and takes his own cock out, already hard and leaking. “going to fill this pussy ‘til there’s no room left, take what’s ours.”

you nod frantically, the thought of both of them inside of you at the same time sending your head into the clouds. you’ve only done this a few times, they prefer to watch the other fucking you like a personal show, but every time you have it’s ended with you seeing stars.

seungmin fucks into your thighs a few times, the wetness between your legs gathering on his cock. you clench down around minho when his head catches on your clit, still sensitive from your orgasm, and the older moans into the back of your neck and fucks up into you like he can’t help it. when seungmin pushes the tip of his cock up against minho’s you can’t help but tense at the thought of the stretch.

“shh, baby, relax,” seungmin croons, breaking his character for a second when he feels how tight you are. “we’re going to take good care of you. we always do, don’t we?”

and he’s right. they’ve never done anything you didn’t want to, always left you the option to say no, always put your pleasure above their own. made sure that you’re comfortable and happy and sated before focusing on each other, like you’re their entire world. his words make your body lax, knees going weak as you lean backwards into minho’s strong arms and let seungmin finally push up next to minho. you close your eyes at the feeling, a little overwhelmed but not in pain, and you shudder as minho reaches around you to rub at your stomach in comforting circles. you feel so full, completely claimed by these two men, at their mercy with no other option but to let them use you.

“such a good girl, hmm?” minho says, sweeter than sugar as he starts up a slow rhythm, letting you adjust to both of them being inside of you. seungmin follows, pulling out as minho pushes in, taking turns fucking into you like a well oiled machine.

“so good,” seungmin pants, hiding his face into your neck as he bucks up, hitting your walls perfectly, making your legs shake under you. every thrust sends sparks shooting down up your spine, like he’s playing an instrument with practiced precision. “such a perfect fucking pussy.”

“gonna come,” you warn, grabbing onto minho’s hand and lacing your fingers together. seungmin’s fingers grip at your waist, pushing you down onto them harshly.

“come, baby,” minho reaches around you to rub at your clit and seungmin sinks his teeth into your neck as they continue fucking into you. “come and show us how perfectly we fill your pussy, how we can do it better than anyone.”

you come right on their cocks, choking at the feeling of pulsing around two cocks, and you feel your vision black out for a second as your eyes roll to the back of your head. if they weren’t so close you surely would have collapsed; your limbs feel like jelly, like the strings holding you together have been cut clean.

you’re pushed back down onto the bed until you’re laying down, staring at the ceiling with dizzying blinks. they frame either side of you, flanking you like angel wings as they fist their cocks, leaning over your chest. their hair is sweaty and matted to their foreheads as they breathe heavily; they’ve never looked prettier.

“going to cum all over you, okay?” minho strings out, panting like he’s been running for hours. his voice is softer than it’s been this entire time, the thought of coating you in his release washing over him fondly.

“cover you up, show you who you belong to,” seungmin follows before leaning over to catch minho’s lips between his own. you can see their tongues swirling around each other’s, and heat pools between your legs again as you watch them. they moan into each other as they come, strings of white painting your chest and tits in quick strokes.

they release each other when they’re done, leaning into the other’s neck for a minute as they catch their breath. when they separate they’re both staring at you, eyes hungry despite having just come all over you.

“so beautiful like this,” seungmin murmurs, one hand on minho’s back while the other rubs their mixed cum into your skin. minho reaches to run his hand through your hair, scritching at your scalp with blunt nails. you melt further into the mattress, completely fucked out.

“our pretty painting.” minho agrees.

[jellyfishloveletterghosts]

Trans!Billy and/or trans!Steve

Thanks for playing :) Went with Trans masc Billy and Nonbinary Steve ( I always kind of second guess when writing them as trans. I always worry about getting it wrong but hopefully this turned out alright.)

- Billy has one binder, a well loved thing he found in a bin at a charity thing back in California. It had been patched up twice at least before he found it but the cost hadn’t been high and it is not like he had the money to buy a new one. It was a little snug but it was more secure than wrapping and tapping always gave him a rash that blistered so bad he couldn’t stand anything touching his breasts for days. It was the only one he owned for years.

- Steve notices, waits until they’re a month and a half and then buys Billy some new ones in the right size. He didn't want to do it too soon and have Billy running and it’s probably still too soon but he can’t help himself. He just wants Billy to be happy and safe and comfortable. 

- Billy is fucking angry when he gives them to him. How dare Steve do something like that for him. Steve isn’t sure why he's mad, it’s not a you over stepped mad it’s something else but he starts apologizing saying he should have asked or waited or just offered. It just makes Billy cry and tell him to shut up. He is not really mad at Steve, he's mad at everyone else who ever made him feel wrong, mad that he’s already a little in love with this pretty boy.

- When they first started messing around before Billy started keeping the clothes he likes at Steve's. Steve would grab Billy’s legging or short, whatever he sneaks out of his house wearing in the middle of the night, that wouldn't be a bother come sneaking in in the morning and sliding out to be at the table before Neil woke. Steve would wiggle into them and toss his own sweats at Billy, figuring out quickly that he preferred them over his own clothes.

- It is part of the reason Billy is not really surprised to find out Steve wants to try makeup but it is not without some misunderstanding. When Billy walks in to find his shitty makeup laid out across Steve's desk with a mirror usually on his mother's bathroom counter he assumes the worst. That Steve wants him to wear it has been just pretending to accept Billy for who he is.

"I'm not wearing that shit for you!" Banging a fist against the wall by the door ready to bolt. It's Steve stammering of no, no as he hurries and turns and Billy sees the rouge on the apple of his cheeks, the uneven eyes liner, the pink on his lips a few shades darker than the colored lip balm he is always putting on. "Oh."

Steve smiles and shrugs a faint flush darkening the makeup on his cheek. "Yeah. Could you help me? I can't get the eyeliner even.” The skin at the corner of his eyes are pin where he has clearly been trying to fix it.

"You want to be my pretty girl?" Billy asks curious.

Steve cocks his head before shrugging  “I’m happy to be your pretty anything, doesn’t matter what.”

Billy kisses him and helps him fix his eyeliner, he cannot do anything fancy but he can straighten it out for him.

- A few weeks after the makeup Steve starts trying out different pronouns to see what the do and don't like. Steve finds they don't really have a preference when it come to them.

- Billy pierces Steve''s ears for their one year anniversary. makes them where a silver stud for a few months until their birthday when Billy gives her a set of earrings to match the one dangling form his ear.

Steve show up on Billy's eighteenth birthday with a winnebago and a plan to move to California.

Ask Me 5+ Au Head canons

[greenlikethesea]

five songs you listen to - greenie gets personal edition

🎶✨ when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to. then send this ask or tag 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨🎶

tagged by @tolkientrash! thank you!

i just did one of these, but i think that whenever i’m tagged, i’m gonna do one of these. i do listen to these songs on the regular, but these hold very specific memories for me. get ready! i like writing them, and you all seem to like them. maybe they’re self indulgent, but it’s been nice to share. I have a few tags to catch up on and I will get there!

1. Whiskey - Nicole Reynolds

when i was newly 19, i went to a house party that was also sort of a jam session, a few blocks away from my house. i brought my ukulele, inside my big coat because i didn’t have a case for it, even though i only knew a few chords. there was a girl there -- we’ll call her b -- that intrigued me, but i wasn’t sure why. my own feelings about girls were rich and complicated, having been burned by my ex-girlfriend in high school, but i wanted her to notice me. after a while of mingling, i ducked into a side room, where she was fiddling around on her guitar -- a far better player than i ever will be. she started playing this song, whiskey, a tune about loving someone despite their flaws. the tune is easy to discern, so i was able to pick up a harmony pretty quickly, and our eyes met. i figured it out -- i liked her. i wanted to know her the way nicole reynolds knew her lover.

2. Puzzle Pieces - Tiger Trap

as some of you know, i dated the same person on and off for seven years. we dated all throughout high school, took a break (where i dated b -- i’ve never cheated), and then resumed the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college. i went to his house in the guise of going to a hike, but that was a bullshit ruse -- i went over to have sex with him. and we did. and we laid together, me unsure of what had happened, because he always kept his feelings to his chest. but he got his ipod and put one earbud in each ear, and started to play this song. “whenever i played this song, i thought of you. it was your song.” he had never gotten over me. i was, at least for a time, his puzzle piece.

3. everyone blooms - The Front Bottoms

after I broke up with the person mentioned in 2, we attempted to maintain a friendship. this, predictably, did not go well, but a safe topic for us was always the music we had in common. when this album came out, we both discussed our favorite tracks and his happiness about the return to form (i had liked going grey, nut he hated it for being too poppy.) we both carefully avoided talking about this particular track, which felt too familiar for comfort. “sometimes we talk/it’s a total mistake/just the memories of us/feel so real, must be fake.” this, in turn with the music, dizzying and the sonic equivalent of banging your head on a wall after spinning in a circle, contributes to the crushing, quiet desperation of it being too late to change, but that’s okay. “wherever you are, don’t worry/you’re gonna be fine, fine, fine/everyone blooms in their own time”

4. So Unaware - Best Coast

the corniest thing about me, probably, is that I like to listen to music by California artists when I’m in California. best coast, to me, represents what SoCal is now — dreamy, lonely, vast, vacuous but for pockets where you find meaning. Bethany Cosentino is a lyricist who gets straight to the point, and her arrangement work with Bobb Bruno on this album is all structured around a descending arpeggio of a guitar riff. the primary lyrical theme is myopia, either on her part or the part of her departed lover. and man, there,s something about winding around mountains, 65 in a 40, with the exasperated plea, “I’ll never understand you, never understand you, never understand you now.”

5. West Coast - Coconut Records

alright, so I will own that this pick is me being sentimental and romantic. lyrically, this song is so subtly artful that you barely notice it on the first lesson. I’m a real fan of two things this song masters: a simple image being a stand-in for an evocative feeling (“I love you, standing all alone in a black coat” — small, stark, a pop of inky dark in east coast grey, singular in the eye of the beholder) and a chorus beginning and ending with the same line, with the meat of the sandwich changing the line from start to finish (“I miss you, I’m going back home to the west coast” — in the beginning, a simple statement of intent, but by the end, the narrator wishing his love would stop him).

Sorry, that was deeply personal and you did not ask for all that! But welcome to my brain!

Do not feel obligated at allllll — Tagging some of the usual suspects and a few newbies @friendship-switchblades @sparklyslug @serskets @gothbat99 @sea-heaux @dallae @xstevex-world @dodger-chan @leftofus @geddyqueer

[oddcnes]

–  have you seen jacob christopher bancroft around los angeles? the twenty five year old is usually jamming to star walkin' by lil nas x. word around the city is that they’re compassionate, yet, they can also be restless, but you didn’t hear that from me. they’re currently a/an musician/ songwriter and are typically seen walking the streets of los angeles with his guitar strapped on his back. when i think of them, i think of  broken promises within a broken home, late nights strumming on the guitar and the iron will of never losing hope. let’s hope the city treats them good!

STATS:

full name: jacob christopher bancroft

goes by: jc bancroft ( his artist name )

age:  25

date of birth / zodiac sign: June 14th / gemini

place of birth: cleveland, ohio

gender:  cis male

pronouns: he / him

orientation: homosexual / homoromantic

current residence: los angeles, california

occupation: musician ( guitarist within a band ) / songwriter

BACKGROUND: tw alcohol addiction, domestic violence

As far as JC can remember his parents had always faught with each other. The Bancroft household was a loud, violent and unsafe place growing up. But JC was somewhat safe while his mother was around, aside from the yelling when he did something he shouldn't do. This changed when he was ten years old. He had heard his mother packing her things in the middle of the night and asked where she was going. JC wanted to go with her, but she didn't. The last thing she said to him was: "I can't, I'm sorry. You look too much like him." Words that kept echoing within the boys ears even years later. His father snapped when JC told him about his mom had left, blaming him for her leaving when his father was the only one responsible for it. It was the first time his father beat him and it wouldn't remain the only time.

Since his father was an alcoholic it was easy for JC to get his hands on the alcohol as well, drowning his sorrows and pain with it. When someone got on his bad side he let his fists speak for him as it was the only language he knew.

The only real friend he had, or so he felt at least, was a girl who was living a few houses down the street. Her family was gifted in music and they where the ones who taught JC to play the guitar. It was the one thing that brought him true comfort. That's why he spent a lot of time at their house, avoiding to go home at all costs, despite knowing it would only make his situation with his father worse.

Eventually the girl had formed a band and JC became part of it. When he was eighteen they put their savings together and went to Los Angeles. Travled across the country to chase their dream together. But Los Angeles didn't make it easy on them and they had to work odd jobs to get by, played as many gigs as they could and when most of the band was close to giving up, they finally found someone who took interest in them, saw their potential. Finally they began to walk on the path that led to them making a name for themselves and finally be able to live off the music they were making. Unfortunately, JC's alcohol addiction put a damper on their flourishing career as he kept spiraling downwards. Together they decided it was best for him to go to rehab. Something JC wanted himself as well. He wanted to get better and finally leave all the bad stuff behind him. So the band went on a break.

JC is now a recovered alcoholic. He has been sober for almost two years and he does everything to keep it that way. Music and his band mean everything to him. They give him the strength he needs to remain on the right track.

ADDITIONAL NOTE:

He has trouble to sit still when he’s stressed or nervous, either he starts drumming on any surface close to him, fiddles with his fingers or paces up and down

JC has never been in a relationship and is under the impression he's not made for it either. He has no problem with uncommitted flings, but anything more than that? He isn't sure. ( this might change though, now that his life is back on track )

CONNECTIONS:

Cillian 'Leon' O'Hara — current friends with benefits that has started developing into more.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fellow musicians

friends

former friends with benefits

former drinking buddies

former one night stands / flings

[youngveinsworld]

one haven music artist bio: the young veins

the young veins' artist bio from their label's website

The Young Veins’ debut album, Take a Vacation!, played with both intellect and ambition – is a band that knows exactly who they are and where they are going.  As 23 year old frontman, Ryan Ross, re-imagines 60’s pop, tropicalia, old New York girl groups and fuzzed-out psychedelia to Nuggets-era garage rock and Stax-inspired soul, you will hear a band that is mature beyond its years and truly excited by the craft of songwriting– uncovering what came before and anxious to see what’s ahead. “We want to be good at our craft, whether it’s writing music or playing it live,” says Ross. “Jon and I just feel like a lot of bands have an either/or sort of feel – either they’re really poppy but don’t have a good vibe, or they have good vibe but the songs aren’t great. And we really wanted to avoid that. We feel like we’re trying to be the band that we’re missing right now.”

Ryan Ross spent his formidable years as the primary songwriter, guitarist and singer in Las Vegas’ wildly popular Panic! at the Disco, a band that rode to the top of the charts on dance-floor synths and impressive rock theatrics. However, over the course of two albums, Ross’s songwriting and musicianship began to evolve, mature and outgrow the stylistic bounds of the band. He and Panic! bassist Jon Walker had discovered their talents as a songwriting duo, and made the decision to step out on their own. Armed with new material, Ross and Walker made their departure, moved to Los Angeles, and formed what is now The Young Veins.

With Take a Vacation!, The Young Veins are that band. Recorded mostly live over the course of two short sessions at Castle Oak Studios and Sunset Sound in Los Angeles and produced by Alex Greenwald (Phantom Planet) and Rob Mathes (Panic! at the Disco, Carly Simon, Lou Reed) – and featuring guest vocals/instrumentation by fellow Californians Jason Boesel (Rilo Kiley), Danny and Michael Fujikawa (Chief) and Z Berg (The Like), the album is a stunning 29-minutes of deliberate and focused songcraft; concise pop and rock songs that embrace a dreamy California spirit but also epitomize Ross and Walker’s vast sphere of influence, ambition and artistry. “We wanted every song to have a different theme, like a specific subject,” says Ross, who splits songwriting duties with Walker, each helping the other hone and fine-tune initial ideas, finish creative thoughts and explore different stylistic directions. “We wanted them all to be little stories that you can picture in your head.”

From the first chord of album-opener “Change,” the record rocks, careens and rollicks through eleven songs, which grow and thrive amid Greenwald and Mathes’ minimal production. The band’s vital and vibrant in-studio performances, as well as their thoughtful use of impressive vintage gear, like the Wurlitzer, harmonium and Stylophone are lovingly interpreted for contemporary ears. From the breezy, fuzzed out pop of title track “Take a Vacation!” to the Spector-esque swagger of “Cape Town” and the jolting guitar of “Defiance” – to the gauzy, glimmering sheen of “Everyone But You” and the shimmering, “heels-over-head” love of “Lie to the Truth,” The Young Veins are an undeniably distinctive voice in music today, showing a knack for writing a timeless tune with a sweet, effortless delivery.

Take a Vacation! is both rousing and refined, boisterous and sophisticated, hard-hitting and full of heart. The album is a marriage of passion and perfectionism and through all of their songs ribbons a delight in melody. Take a Vacation! illustrates all that is special about Ross and Walker, gathering all their influences to create something truly exceptional.

The Young Veins live lineup:

Ryan Ross – vocals and guitar Jon Walker – vocals and guitar Andy Soukal – bass Nick White – keyboards Nick Murray – drums

[t0bey]

POV you find out the new survivor is another stunner

[wildrangers]

Summer Lovin' // Matt Boldy

Word Count: 3.5K

Summary: After befriending Trevor during your time away at school, you find yourself taking him up on an invitation to the Hughes Lake House.

Warnings: Cursing, minor miscommunication trope, slut shaming (jokingly aimed at Z, obvi)

Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Finale

“Are you sure we have everything? I feel like we’re missing something” Trevor said as he pawed through his backpack in search of whatever he thought he couldn’t find. You rolled your eyes replying, “If by ‘we’ you mean ‘you’ than yeah, probably.”

He whipped his head to you and threw his hands onto his chest in mock-offense which only made you roll your eyes again. Why had you decided vacationing with Z was a good idea? Sure, it got you closer to Minnesota where you were planning on spending the rest of the summer but still, the man is a mess.

“You can at least pretend to be sympathetic about me constantly losing things” he joked. You scoffed at him replying, “I’ll start feeling bad for you once you start actually trying to keep your shit in order.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Oh, I recognize this house we’re like 5 minutes out! I’m so excited for you to meet everyone, you’re gonna love them. They’re not quite as fun as me but they’ll do” he smiled as the Uber driver made another turn.

You had just finished up your senior year at the University of California’s Fullerton campus which happened to be pretty close to the Duck’s stadium. Since you were a huge hockey fan, you found yourself at their games often enough that Trevor began noticing you at your regular ice-side spot. He had shamelessly flirted with you through the glass despite you attending most of the games with your boyfriend at the time. You’d found his antics endlessly amusing but your ex hadn’t felt similarly so when he happened to come into your work one day, you made a point of mentioning Greg repeatedly in your brief conversation.

“Well, I just moved out here so I can always use more friends. Here’s my number, platonically given to you, okay?” he’d smiled at you. You’d taken it reluctantly, not wanting to piss off Greg, but when you texted him your own number, he was true to his word—he never flirted with you again, either through texts or at the games. In fact, the close friendship you developed with Z had only made your ex’s insecurities and jealousy more obvious and frustrating. You managed to last a few more months together but broke up just before the fall semester. Trevor and Jamie had actually gone so far as throwing you a celebratory party when you told them once they were back for pre-season training.

“Here we are!” Z announced, pulling you from your thoughts. You took in the large house in front of you and felt some butterflies in your stomach. You’d gone out with Jack and Trevor when their teams were playing one another but you hadn’t met anyone else who’d be there. You were naturally an outgoing person but since you’d be here for the entirety of June, you were eager to make a good first impression and fall into a rhythm with the guys and their girls.

As you made your way up the stairs, Z gave you a refresher on who would be there. “Okay, so you know Jack who also has his girlfriend Sienna visiting. His brothers Luke and Quinn are here, plus Luke’s girl Hannah. Oh, and Boldy should be here by now too” he said, ringing the doorbell.

Your brows furrow in confusion, “Boldy?” you questioned but the front door opened before Trevor could say anything else.

“Jack!!” he shouted as he pulled Jack in for an embrace. You rubbed the ear closest to him and glared at the back of his head—did he always have to be so fucking loud?

“Hey man! Y/N, how was your trip?” Jack asked, giving you a brief hug. “Oh, come on, you played with Z long enough to know that he is quite possibly the worst travel companion to have” you replied, making him laugh and Trevor shove your shoulder playfully. “Seriously though, it was fine. Thanks again for letting me tag along.”

Jack waved off your thanks, grabbing your suitcase for you as he led you into the house. You were quickly introduced to everyone minus Quinn and Matt who were up in their rooms unpacking. Luke and Hannah were clearly still pretty fresh in their relationship and they kept to themselves for the most part. Sienna was chatty and you two clicked pretty quickly, especially once she found out you liked to tease the boys as much as she did. Once it got close to 6, you excused yourself to go unpack before dinner was ready for 7.

Trevor joined you as you made your way upstairs. You were rooming together but both had your own twin size beds. After everything was put away, you grabbed a sundress to change into for the party after dinner. Apparently, the Hughes brothers were pretty well-known around here so they always threw a huge rager to mark the start of the summer season. After freshening up your makeup, you emerged from the bathroom only to collide with a tall redhead boy.

“Shit, I’m sorry, are you okay?” he asked, catching your elbows so you didn’t lose your balance.

“Yeah, totally, no worries” you smiled at him. “I’m Y/N.”

“Matt, you came with Z, right?” he questioned and you nodded your confirmation. Before you could reply, you heard a sharp whistle from behind you causing you to roll your eyes. You soon felt the weight of Trevor’s arm around your shoulder as he said, “Well you clean up nice, Y/L/N, don’t you think Boldy?”

Matt’s face flushed slightly as he nodded his agreement. “Thanks, Z, whistling at women is always a great form of flattery” you said sarcastically, as another boy emerged from behind Matt.

“Huggy!” Trevor called, leaving your side to embrace the guy who you’d find out was Quinn. As the two caught up, all four of you made your way downstairs for dinner. You ended up in a seat between Sienna and Trevor and you quickly found yourself lost in conversation as the meal went on.

‘How in the hell did Z land someone like Y/N?’ Matt found himself thinking. You were beautiful, of course, but he quickly discovered over dinner that you were also hilarious and brilliant, having just graduated with honors the month before.

“Are you guys planning on trying long distance once the season starts?” Quinn questioned. Matt watched your brows furrow in confusion just as Trevor let out a loud laugh. “Oh gosh, that ship sailed well over a year ago, Y/N and I are just buds” Trevor explained once he’d calmed down. Matt felt his heartbeat pick up at this development; he’d assumed by your coziness and banter you were dating.

“I was wondering how you could possibly stoop to dating someone as annoying as Z, Y/N” Luke chirped causing everyone to laugh. “Oh, trust me, it wasn’t for lack of trying on his part” you teased, causing Matt to smirk as Trevor rushed to defend himself. Luke and Hannah offered to clean up dinner so everyone else made their way out to the deck to begin setting up for the party.

As Matt finished helping Quinn with the keg, he turned to find you struggling to hang up the last part of the fairy lights. He quickly made his way over, reaching above your head to secure the lights easily. You beamed up at him as he pulled away, “Thanks, you’re a life saver. I really don’t know how I got this job when I’m the shortest person out here” you joked making him laugh.

Silence quickly followed as Matt tried to think of something to keep the conversation going. But your smile directed right at him had left him a little dazed. “Jack’s not the best at delegating tasks” he managed to come up with which made that smile return to your face. He was mesmerized at how the setting sun lit up your eyes. You opened your mouth to reply but you both turned as Sienna called you over. As you made your way to her, Matt sighed and rolled his eyes at himself. He was always the quietest of this group and that was made worse by his attraction to you.

“Uh oh” he heard from behind him before a hand clapped his shoulder. “Tongue tied, are you?” Trevor teased, causing Matt to smack his hand away which only amused Trevor more. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a real charmer” Matt mumbled rubbing his temples.

“You gotta chill man, Y/N, is super nice. And luckily for you, extremely single” he said. “Her last boyfriend was a real douchebag, that’s for sure” he mumbled mostly to himself.

“Was she with him when you met her?” Matt asked and Trevor nodded. “Yeah, but that’s her story to tell not mine. Let’s grab a drink, yeah?”

The party was now in full swing and you had settled on a lounge chair on the outskirts of the gathering. You were always more of a people-watcher at big events, given you were more comfortable in small groups versus a huge crowd. Luke and Hannah were dancing together while Trevor chatted up a girl nearby. A group including Quinn, Jack, and Sienna had decided on a late-night swim which had thinned the crowd slightly.

You tilted your head back to look at the stars as you hummed along to the music blasting from the speaker system. You heard someone clear their throat next to you and you turned to see Matt standing next to the chair beside yours, “Mind if I join you?” he asked and you shook your head no, motioning for him to take a seat.

“Enjoying the party?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer and you shrugged. “I’m enjoying people watching more than partaking honestly” you admitted.

“That’s surprising, you were chatty at dinner” Matt pointed out. “If I knew more people I might be dancing or playing beer pong but especially after travelling all day, I just don’t have it in me” you explained and he nodded.

A comfortable silence descended as you both nursed your drinks. You found your gaze drifting over to Z again only to find him making out with the girl he’d been chatting up all night causing you to groan. “I feel like I’m going to end up stuck on the couch” you told Matt who looked at you confused. You nodded towards the pair and he sighed in understanding.

“Yeah, I get why they paired you up since you’re his guest but he’s going to be inviting people to spend the night all summer” Matt said. “I was worried you’d say something like that” you sighed.

“You could crash in my bed if you want” he offered. “I think there’s an air mattress in my closet so I could just pull that out.”

“No, I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed. The couch will be fine” you said, though you were tempted by the offer. “Well let’s see what happens but if he takes over the room, just come see me and we’ll figure it out, okay?” You nodded, turning your head to really take him in. He was cute and different from the other hockey guys you’d met through Z over the last year or so. “Thanks, I really appreciate that. How did you get stuck with these idiots? You’re totally normal” you said, making him laugh.

“We’ve all played together for years but I’ve always been a bit quieter than the others. They tend to really take up the room, you know?” he said self-deprecatingly. “Of course, I know what you mean, I’m with Z all the time” you rolled your eyes. “There is nothing that boy likes more than hearing himself talk.”

Matt chuckled and nodded his agreement. “Where are you playing now?” you asked. “Minnesota” he replied, which surprised you. You tended to keep up with the Wild, given they were your hometown team, but this last semester had really kicked your ass.

“No shit, really?” you sat up to face him fully. “Yeah, why?” he questioned.

“After I leave here, I’m heading home to Minneapolis. When did you come up from the AHL?” you questioned. The two of you began an easy conversation about hockey, Minneapolis, and how he was adjusting to the city and all its hockey-crazed madness.

“I don’t even have a place yet honestly” he said shaking his head. “I was just crashing with other guys or at the hotel, there was no time by the time I was called up to look at apartments.”

“I could help you once you’re back if you want” you offered. He looked surprised at your offer and you felt your face flush—maybe you were being too forward or reading into this situation too much.

“I’d really appreciate that; I feel like I barely got to explore the city at all” he continued.

“Seriously, I’d love to, I need an in to get good seat next season” you joked.

“Nah, you’re not fooling me with that” he smiled at you. “I think you just want to spend more time together.” For once, you were at a loss for words as you two maintained eye contact. You felt yourself leaning forward just as a crash sounded from across the way, causing you two to jump apart.

You shook your head at yourself; you barely knew this guy, it was the first night here, and you had way too much to drink if you were already trying to hook up with him. “I think that’s my cue to head up to bed before Trevor stumbles up in a few hours” you said standing up. Matt nodded, hiding his disappointment before mentally kicking himself for being bummed—he was probably reading into things anyway.

“My offer stands, okay?” Matt said and you nodded before waving and heading inside.

Matt stayed on the lounge chair, replaying your conversation. He was interrupted by someone plopping down next to him and he turned to see Quinn, still soaking wet from his swim.

“Why are you moping over here by yourself?” he questioned, wrapping his towel around him tighter.

“I’m not moping, just thinking” Matt said, a hint of annoyance in his tone. “Okay, sure—then what are you thinking about?” Quinn pushed.

“Y/N” he said and instantly regretted it as Quinn went “Oooooh does someone have a crush?” Matt rolled his eyes and smacked Quinn’ shoulder. “Shut the fuck up, we’re not in middle school. I just thought something almost happened earlier but I think I’m making shit up honestly.”

“Nah, you’re a catch Bolds” Quinn grinned at him. “But right now, you’re mostly a downer so I’m going to go grab another drink. Want one?” Matt shook his head and Quinn wondered away. He downed the last of his beer before getting up and heading into the house. As he settled into his bed, he found his thoughts turning to you as he drifted off to sleep.

He was woken up to someone shaking his shoulder. He looked around in confusion; it was still pitch-black outside but someone had turned on the lamp on his nightstand. His eyes found yours and they scrunched up in confusion, “Y/N?”

“I’m so sorry, Z had the fucking nerve to wake me up and kick me out of the room” you fumed quietly. Anger rolled off of you and he glanced at the clock. “That asshole woke you up at 3AM?” he questioned and you nodded glumly.

Matt sighed, sitting up in bed, “Okay, let’s get the air mattress down so you can get back to bed” he said. “Um yeah, so that’s the thing actually” you said, “I pulled it down to try to do it on my own so I didn’t have to bother you and there’s a huge hole in the side. Do you know where another one might be?”

Matt shook his head, “I’m sure there’s more but I don’t want to make a ton of noise looking for one this late. Here, you take the bed and I’ll go down on the couch” he said, throwing the covers back to get up.

“Soooo the couch is actually full” you mumbled, blushing. He hadn’t noticed until now how fidgety you were. As his tired brain tried to catch up with this new development, he realized why you were antsy.

“Shit, alright, um, I’ll just sleep on the floor then, it’s fine” he offered, not wanting to make you uncomfortable by offering to just share the Queen-sized bed.

“No, no way” you argued, throwing the covers back over him, causing him to chuckle. “I was actually, um, wondering if maybe I could just crash in the bed with you? If that’s too forward or weird then I’ll just grab some extra blankets and a pillow and sleep on the living room floor but I figured I’d ask. But, now that it’s actually coming out of my mouth, I realize this was a dumb idea, so I’ll just—”

“Hey, slow down, yeah?” he cut you off, gently grabbing your wrist to keep you from leaving like you were about to. “It’s a big bed, I’m cool if you’re cool. We could put a pillow between us or something if that would make you feel better.”

“Are you sure?” you bit your bottom lip nervously. He nodded smiling at how sleepy and cute you looked thinking over his offer. “Positive, come on.” He said moving over to make room for you. As you pulled back the covers on your side, he leaned over to grab the extra pillow he’d tossed on the floor next to him and placed it between your bodies.

“Thank you, Matty, seriously” you mumbled as you curled up beside him with your back to him. He settled down beside you, turning his back to yours before replying, “It’s no problem, Y/N. Sleep well.”

The next morning, you woke up with your head on someone’s chest. You blinked in confusion, retracing what had happened the night before. As the events of the prior evening returned to your tired mind, you realized that at some point in the night you must have moved the pillow out of the way and curled up with Matt. To your surprise and delight, he had wrapped his arms around you, one hand resting on your waist and the other tangled in your hair.

As you debated how to untangle yourself without waking him, the door to his room flew open. “Matty! You’re late for, oh shit sorry, sorry!” you heard what you thought was Quinn’s voice say before the door quickly closed again. Matt’s hands quickly removed themselves from your body and you pulled away far enough to look into his eyes.

“I swear I have no recollection of how we ended up like that” he said eyes wide, face flushed, clearly worried he had accidentally made you uncomfortable.

“I don’t either but I don’t mind” you said not moving any farther away. His blue eyes were surrounded by dark circles making them somehow brighter. His red hair was tousled and his voice was deeper than it was the night before, still gruff from just waking up.

“Me neither, now that you mention it” he said quietly, holding your gaze. His eyes drifted down to your mouth and you ran your hands through his hair, your palm resting on his cheek. You leaned towards one another as your lips connected in a soft, tender kiss. You felt his hand return to the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You lost yourself in the feel of his lips on your own, only coming back to the present moment when you heard a commotion outside the door. You pulled away as you caught what was clearly Z’s voice saying, “No fucking way!” before the door once again flew open. You turned to your friend in the doorway and glared at him with everything you had.

“Yes, fucking way because you kicked me out of our room at 3AM you fucking slut!” you shrieked at him, throwing back the covers and racing towards him. Before he could process what you had said, you smacked him upside the head.

“Hey!” he shouted in protest. “Hey yourself! The whole house was full and Matt was nice enough to let me crash here so don’t make this fucking weird, okay?!”

He threw up his hands, “Alright, alright sorry! Jeez, I’m gonna go get your coffee started, you clearly need it” he said but not before flashing a quick thumbs up at Matt. You got another good smack onto his side before he darted out the door and shut it behind him. Your head fell into your hands and you massaged your temples.

“This is going to be a whole thing, isn’t it?” you mumbled.

“Yeah, afraid so” Matt said, fighting back a grin. “It was worth it though just to see you smack the shit out of Z.”

A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm thinking of making this a two or three parter so let me know if you'd like me to continue with this pairing :) Also, thanks for all of the love on Warrior, I plan on doing a second part once we're past Game 4/5 of the series

[liaaacantwrite]

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

Billy Hargrove x Reader (Series)

Chapter Two: Just the Two of Us

part one! part three!

(A/N: i know billy may be slightly out of character, but this is just for fun! i think most people, especially people as young as billy was, are capable of being kind and loving if they’re shown how to do those things, and he clearly wasn’t. this is just a silly little story that i’m writing for myself, and i’m glad other people can also enjoy it! so thank you so much for all of the love on chapter one! hearing appreciation for my writing is what inspires me to create more. so thank you so much, and enjoy chapter two!!!!)

*****

It was strange. Billy usually found himself annoyed with people around 10 minutes into meeting them. Sometimes quicker, and that seemed to be happening more often in Hawkins than California.

Not with his new friends, though.

Lunch was actually fun. Jonathan had accepted him so quickly, immediately launching into a story about when he was locked in the bathroom during a fire drill. Billy felt like he could actually be himself, open up (very slightly as he didn’t really know these people) to the first people to be genuinely kind to him in years.

He’d met Robin while walking (Y/N) to her next class after lunch. Her ramblings were pretty funny and she wasn’t intimidated by the older boy. Actually, she seemed to embrace him rather quickly.

“All I’m saying is if you want my mom to like you, let her pay for the pizza. Otherwise, she’ll think you’re calling her poor.” They were discussing Saturday night, the day after Halloween.

“Can I give her some Halloween candy I stole from Mike, Lucas, Will, and Dustin?”

“Yeah, or we can just eat it.”

“Who’s that?” Billy spoke up for the first time in awhile.

“They’re these kids I babysit sometimes.” A code word for saving the world together. “Very sweet, but so annoying.”

“They come in sometimes to play with the puppies at work. Bye, dorks.” Robin added, waving goodbye as she walked off to her class.

“I never did ask where you work, by the way.” Billy double checked his schedule, trying to find the correct room. He had spent the majority of the previous day in the front office taking placement tests.

“You couldn’t see the logo on my scrubs last night?” (Y/N) teased, her tone light.

“It was obstructed by mud, doll.”

“I work at the animal shelter. You should definitely come by sometime.” She stopped walking, finally arriving at her class.

“This is your class?” Billy was grinning from ear to ear.

She nodded.

“Well, I think I won the lottery, princess. It’s mine, too.”

He followed his friend (he liked to think of her as one) inside, the bell ringing as he took a seat next to her. He took a moment to take in her side profile, the gentle slope of her nose, the curve of her lips. Her eyelashes, which stuck out straight instead of curling up, hiding their length. Her hair was braided, falling over her shoulder. She chewed on her thumbnail as she waited for the teacher to come in.

She pretended she didn’t notice him staring.

“Hello, everyone. Sorry for being late.” An elderly lady walked in quickly. “Ms. Hopper, will you take attendance?”

(Y/N) was Mrs. Thompson’s absolute favorite. She had called the police once after she fell and became enamored with Hopper, who had come to check out the scene when his patrol officers were all busy. Hopper, having a heart of gold, decided to have dinner with the lonely old woman and he brought along his only daughter (at the time.) This had been years ago, and she couldn’t believe that the sweet little girl who she had made brownies with was in her class.

“While attendance is being taken, we have a new student in our class. Mr. Hargrove, will you please come to the front?”

Now, normally, Billy would have just sat there and flipped off the teacher. But (Y/N) looked at him in such an expectant, hopeful manner that he couldn’t bring himself to disappoint her. So, he brought himself to his feet and stepped to the front of the room.

“Hi. I’m Billy.” Mrs. Thompson smiled and placed a hand on his arm.

“Where are you from?”

“California.”

She nodded, letting go of him. Looking around the class, all the girls (except the only one he actually knew) looked absolutely ravenous as they drank in his physicality. Playing with their hair, chewing gum, sitting perched in just a way to make their breasts stick out. The dudes looked intimidated, but overall curious. He walked back to his seat, feeling slightly ridiculous, but any sense of embarrassment flew out of the window when (Y/N) flashed him a toothy grin and held out her fist for a bump.

He obliged.

*****

“What’s bothering you?” Robin slid up to her best friend, placing a caring hand on her back.

“What? Who said something’s wrong with me?”

“Uh, your expression? You’ve been frowning at that inventory report for the past 10 minutes. What’s up?”

(Y/N) took a deep breath.

“My dad didn’t come home last night. Do you think you could ask your mom to drive me by the station on your way home? I can ask one of the officers for a ride if he’s not there.” She chewed her thumbnail, eyes downcast. She hated asking for help.

“Of course! He’s probably just busy, you know? Although, it’s weird he didn’t call. But don’t you live out in like the middle of the woods? Do you guys even have a phone? Maybe he was getting laid! That’s gross. Although, he probably needs it.”

Listening to Robin brought a sense of rationality to (Y/N). Hopper was probably fine, and if she couldn’t find him today, she could ask Eleven to find him. Although, if something bad did happen to him, she really didn’t want El to see that. She’d seen enough bad shit, and it always made her feel bad to see her little sister’s nose bleed.

The shift carried on pretty gracefully. A chihuahua bit Robin, but she just laughed it off, and a new cat was found in the alley behind the local church. The dog food shipment was running late, so Robin had to call their supplier and chew them out, and the cat food supplier sent the wrong brand, so (Y/N) called them and complained as well.

At around 15 minutes until the end of their shift, the one and only Billy Hargrove strolled in.

“Evening, ladies.” He smiled as soon as he spotted them.

His smile seemed extremely perfected, like he had spent a pretty good amount of time in the mirror rehearsing it. She figured he had some stupid name for it, too, like ‘the Ladykiller’, or ‘the Pantysoaker’. It was manufactured to impress girls, not to actually show joy.

“Hello, Billy. Come to clean the kennels?” She chided, not looking up from her adoption reports.

“You know me so well. I love cleaning up dog shit.” He leaned against the counter and looked down at her papers. She snatched them away from his gaze.

“Confidential.”

“Yeah, you’d be fucked if I knew who adopted Mr. Mittens, huh?”

“Royally. Now, do you wanna see some dogs?”

He nodded and started to lead him to the back area where the dogs were kept. Robin just kept reading her book.

“Do you have any old dogs?” He wasn’t sure why, but he’d always had a soft spot for geriatric animals. His mother had an old ass border collie and as a kid, Billy would fall asleep on the dog nearly every night.

“Yeah! There’s this one dog, we don’t really know her breed, but I would guess she’s part lab part pitbull? Anyway, she’s around 10 and she’s so sweet and sleepy. She’s in the green room, actually.”

She felt excited, showing him a part of her life, even if visitors weren’t allowed to see dogs this late. There was something about him that just screamed out at her, begging her to keep digging and find out what he was keeping under the surface. Maybe it was the way he glanced around nervously but immediately mustered up the confidence of 10 men as soon as he realized he was caught.

Christ, she’d known him 2 days at this point and was already feeling poetic about the whole thing.

“Hello, Peach!” She knelt next to a tan and white dog that rested in the corner of her kennel. It was actually pretty spacious, and she had multiple toys and food bowls around the area.

“Her name is Peach?” He thought it suited her pretty well as the dog slowly walked over to (Y/N), legs shaky but eyes excited.

“Thank you! I picked it.” She unlocked the kennel door and stepped inside, waving Billy to follow.

They sat on the floor with Peach and spent a good amount of time loving on her. She very much appreciated it, especially when Billy scratched that one spot behind her ears. No words were said to each other, only loving phrases toward the old dog.

“Who’s a good girl? Are you a good girl? Aw, you’ve got such pretty eyes.” Billy cooed, losing all sense of cool as the dog’s tail wagged faster than ever. He knew (Y/N) wouldn’t judge him anyway, so he moved to where he was laying on the floor, both hands petting Peach.

“I hate to break up this absolutely adorable moment, but my shift ended 5 minutes ago. I really need to clock out or I’ll get in a ton of trouble.” (Y/N) stood, holding a hand out to help Billy up. He took it, mostly using his own legs to stand but appreciably smiling at her.

“I always forget how much I love dogs.” The smile didn’t leave his face as they left the green room. He waited for her she clocked out, watching her speak to Robin for a minute, seemingly arguing about something. He couldn’t help the way his ears picked up his own name.

“Just ask Billy!”

“No, he drove me yesterday.”

“You think he doesn’t want an excuse to parade that little Camaro around?!”

“You just don’t want to ask your mom to drive me.”

“I can want two things!”

Billy wondered if (Y/N)‘s dad didn’t come home again. He hadn’t even met the guy and his opinion of the police chief was starting to sour.

She walked up to him, her hands behind her back and chin up high. Her eyes were closed as if she was gathering courage and, unbeknownst to Billy, she was flipping Robin off behind her back.

“Hey, Billy. Look, I’m so sorry to ask you for this, but my dad didn’t come home again and I was just wondering if you could drop me by the police station? I can have an officer take me home, so don’t worry about that.”

Billy checked his watch. It was 7:10, and his curfew was 8 on school nights. He figured he could make it, and even if he didn’t, Neil could honestly go to hell. He’d just sleep in his car and deal with the consequences another day, hopefully on a day that Max had already fucked up.

“Sure, princess. You don’t have to look so embarrassed.” He winked and opened the passenger door for her. It took every ounce of willpower in his body not to look at her ass as she slid into the seat.

As he walked around and got into his own, she had already started hyperventilating.

“I am embarrassed because now my dad looks shitty when he’s actually wonderful, and I’m upset because I don’t know where he is, and I’m nervous because I’m just a nervous person in general, and I’m tired because I didn’t sleep last night waiting up for him, and I’m angry because he hasn’t fucking called, and this whole situation is just turning into a huge clusterfuck!” She slammed her hands on the dashboard and started crying.

“Hey, doll, it’s alright. We’re gonna head over there and check this shit out, alright?”

“I promise I’m not usually so needy.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you were.”

Billy started to drive, already mostly knowing his way around the town after spending so much time just aimlessly driving. She turned the music up and hummed as she stared out the window.

She was absolutely terrified at the thought of Hopper being missing, of the Hawkins Lab shit coming back. She was even more terrified at the thought of taking care of Eleven by herself, something she was willing to do, but not exactly excited about.

Billy, on the other hand, was confused. He’d never enjoyed doing things for other people in California. He liked to keep to himself and pretend to care just enough to get laid. Honestly, the girls didn’t mind what he said much, anyway. They were honestly just as cruel to him as he was in return. He was just a hot bad boy to them, a way to rebel against society. Eventually, they’d all marry their band nerd high school sweetheart, and Billy would probably end up in jail or dead. At least, that’s what Neil loved to point out. ‘Walking STD’ was a favorite name of Neil’s, and Billy absolutely hated it.

“Thank you, Billy. Honestly.” She unbuckled and started to open the door, but stopped when Billy opened his own. “Why are you getting out?”

“I’m coming with. You know, in case something happened?”

They stared at each other for a moment. Her eyes were glassy, still not completely finished crying. His were intense and grounding as she steeled herself to enter the police station. She took a few deep breaths, still staring intently into his baby blues and she nodded.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

They walked towards the double doors of the station and she gripped the sleeve of his denim jacket.

“Everybody knows me in here, so we should probably be able to tell what’s happening just based on their reactions.”

She took it as a good sign that no one had pulled her out of class with bad news.

“After you.” He pulled open the door for her and she stepped in.

“(Y/N)! What are you doing here?” The receptionist, Gloria, beamed at the pair.

“Hey, Gloria. Listen, my dad hasn’t been home in a few days and I was just curious if you’d seen him?”

“Oh, yes! He’s been hard at work with some infected pumpkins. It’s pretty silly if you ask me, but he’s been trying to get to the bottom of it. I think he’s actually in his office if you need him!”

“I’ll be in the car if you need me.” Billy sent (Y/N) a reassuring smile and left as she walked towards her dad’s office.

The door opened loudly, waking a sleeping Hopper at his desk.

“Are you kidding me? You don’t come home last night and when I come to find you you’re sleeping at your desk?” She was angry all over again, but still relieved he was okay.

“I told Gloria to call you at work so you could find a ride home.” He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Well, clearly she didn’t! We were so worried about you! And I had to walk home, until some jackass splashed me and I got a ride!” She slammed her hands against his desk.

“From who?” He looked up from whatever the hell he was doing, now getting mad himself.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters—”

“It absolutely does matter. What, because you didn’t want to walk home, you’re gonna put her in danger?” There was a rule against saying Eleven’s name public.

“I was covered in muddy water and it was 45 fucking degrees outside!”

“Language! And I don’t care how cold you were, you could have put her in danger.”

“So, freezing to death isn’t danger? Walking 10 miles alone at night isn’t danger? Having a fucking—”

“Language.”

“—panic attack because I’m thinking you’re dead isn’t danger? You’re gonna put me at risk because you’re too lazy to actually call me yourself?!”

“I was walking around 3 different pumpkin patches for 5 hours last night. I told Gloria to call you. I did my job! You can not blame me for her not doing hers.”

“Your job is to be my father. When you remember that, we’ll be glad to have you home.”

She stormed out, slamming the door as hard as she could behind her, satisfied when she heard a picture frame fall off the wall. Walking as fast as she could, she carried herself out of the station and into the parking lot to where Billy was waiting.

He looked at her frazzled state as she entered the car. He could tell from her expression that things didn’t go well.

“Drive, please.”

*****

Hopper had returned at about 2 am, completely exhausted. He used his keys, not wanting to wake the girls as he let himself in.

He set down his keys and shrugged off his jacket before looking around. The TV was still on, but the girls were nowhere in sight. He ventured deeper into the house, stopping outside Eleven’s room. As he opened the door, his heart rate quickened when he noticed she wasn’t in there.

“Oh, fuck.”

He dashed into his older daughter’s room, sighing in relief as he saw both girls cuddled together in the bed. Eleven’s arms were wrapped tightly around her sister, their faces looking so peaceful as they slept. He took a moment to just stare at them and kneeled next to the bed. He took one of their hands each and just held them for a minute. He felt extremely guilty, especially for how he treated (Y/N) in his office. She was right. He should have called her himself, but he was caught up in the case again. He felt so ashamed for making her walk alone at night. He knew how dangerous it was out there, and he knew he could never forgive himself, even if nothing bad actually happened to her. He started to cry softly and kissed each girl’s hand.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I love you.”

He sat for a few more moments just reminiscing on all of the good moments he had with them. Driving (Y/N) to the zoo and seeing how absolutely batshit insane she went over all of the animals, baking a cake with Eleven, watching bad movies with the both of them way too late at night and laughing way too much. He wouldn’t ever take them for granted, and he would always come home to them.

He stood, walking towards the door.

“I love you, too.” (Y/N) spoke softly, snuggling into her sister even more as she went back to sleep.

He’d really hit the jackpot when it came to his daughters.

*****

The next day was Halloween, and no one at Hawkins High really acknowledged it besides a few parties happening that night. Billy had obviously been invited to them all, but Jonathan and (Y/N) hadn’t. Not that they cared, and even if they had been asked, they wouldn’t go. They were both planning on being with their younger siblings.

“Come on. I’ll even wear a matching costume with you.” Billy begged her.

“Where are you even going to get one? I’m pretty sure all the stores are sold out.” She took a bite of her sandwich.

“I’ll make one.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Since when can you sew?” Jonathan laughed, finally looking up from his homework.

“You really need to do your homework at night. I’m getting sick of seeing your chicken-scratch while I’m eating.” She lightly pushed the notebook, causing Jonathan to roll his eyes.

“Look, you guys come to the party with me for 10 minutes. Then I’ll drive you both home. Deal?”

She took a second to consider. She really did want to spend the evening with El. And having a night of fun with her family would be a good way to get over the argument with Hopper. But on the other hand, she had never been to a party. Steve had offered to bring her a few times, but she always declined.

She looked at Jonathan. The perk of being friends with someone for 10 years was being able to communicate with only the eyes.

He gave an ‘it’s up to you’ glance and went back to his work.

“5 minutes.”

“Deal.” Billy grinned.

*****

Hopper was actually very open to his daughter going to a party. He figured she needed to just let off some steam and be a teenager for awhile. Plus, he really didn’t want to watch whatever horror movie she would subject them to in the spirit of the holiday.

Billy pulled up to the cabin (rather, an area about 5 minutes of walking away, as Hopper didn’t want to risk anything) and couldn’t believe his luck as his eyes landed on her.

She was wearing a knee-length black dress with a light blue sweater over the top. It wasn’t revealing in the slightest, but the way her hair fell over her shoulder, the way he could see the reflection of the moon in her eyes was absolutely maddening.

He wasn’t wearing a costume either, just some jeans and a leather jacket. He opted for no shirt, a decision that didn’t really make sense for October, but a decision nonetheless.

He really couldn’t figure out what it was about her that was so amazing to him. He’d admired her honestly and wit, sure, and she was obviously beautiful. He liked how intwined with his own life she had become, and how she wasn’t ashamed of letting him in. He liked how he knew she would accept him no matter what. But he didn’t know what compelled him to stop that night, what made him insist on taking her home. He had never done something like that before. Fate, possibly, or divine intervention had to be it.

“Let’s get going. I plan on being back within the hour.” She gave him a wicked grin as she pulled open the door and slid into the increasingly familiar seat.

“Not even gonna tell me how beautiful I look?” He teased, putting the car into drive.

“Nah. You already know it.”

They talked for a bit on the drive, mostly just teasing back and forth and giving directions to Jonathan’s house. He wanted to reach over and grab her hand, her thigh, anything.

She, however, was very anxious about the whole thing. She didn’t want to go now that she was in the car, on the way. She was thinking of every possible bad scenario, everything that could go wrong.

“You okay?” Billy asked, turning onto Jonathan’s street.

“Just anxious.” She but her thumbnail.

“About?”

“What if there’s a pool and I get pushed in?”

“Why are you even thinking about that?” He parked beside the house she pointed at.

“Because that’s how my brain works.”

Jonathan walked out, Will in tow. They were laughing as they walked to the car and as she rolled down the window.

“Hey, guys, I’m just gonna take Will to Mike’s so he can go trick or treating. I’ll meet you there!” He smiled and turned around to his own car.

“Guess it’s just us for a bit, doll.” Billy grinned and sped off, secretly excited to spend a bit more time alone with her. It’s not that he didn’t like Jonathan. He really did, more than he expected to. It’s just, he really liked her too.

“Don’t get so excited. Five minutes and then we’re leaving.”

He didn’t really think she would only stay 5 minutes. Honestly, he really wanted to see what she was like around other people. Was the special treatment (like sharing lunches and crying in the car) reserved for him? Or was she like this with everyone? He certainly treated her better than he did most people.

“Sure, princess.”

*****

taglist:

@renaroo123 @maaciimoo @ria132love @lem0ns77 @krys-orion @dgrangaa

[buckybleu]

✦ coffee and bagels ✦

pairing: Shang-Chi x fem!reader

summary: You and Shang-Chi are crushing on each other, but won't do anything about it...so Katy steps in.

a/n: I've always written fics/drabbles in my drafts but never really posted them. After watching Shang-Chi, I've been excited to write and possibly post! I'm a bit rusty, but hope you enjoy.

reblog/like/feedback are greatly appreciated! ✨

word count: 928

It wasn't an early start to the day. But with last night’s shenanigans with Katy and Shang-Chi at the karaoke bar, your hangover was not your friend today at work. Groaning, you rub your temples in hopes of reliving the monstrous headaches.

Coffee would be nice right now, maybe a muf—

As if the heavens heard your request, a cup of coffee slid across the reception desk before you could finish your thought. Looking up, Shang-Chi smiles brightly while holding a bagel bag out to you.

“For your hangover, you need it.” Shang-Chi laughs, “Black coffee with a splash of milk and sugar. Bagel with light cream cheese.”

“You remember.” You smile, taking a sip of your coffee. “Oh god, that’s good! I don’t know how I’d last today without a caffeine boost.”

“It’s a ‘sorry for keeping you out so late, but thanks for karaoke’ apology.”

“Well if it means I get a coffee and bagel every time, then I’ll always join you for karaoke.”

You were never one to turn down an invite from Shang-Chi and Katy. They were always a blast to hang out with and great drinking partners. The first time you went out with them was one to remember, mainly because it intensified your crush on Shang-Chi

“Hotel California” lyrics were playing on the screen and Katy and Shang-Chi were singing their hearts out. Katy was very insistent that you hangout out with her and her friend Shang-Chi. You’ve met Katy while working at the hotel and have seen Shang-Chi a few times in the lobby or when passing by valet. Shang-Chi always wore a smile when you saw him, giving a wink here and there. There was no lie in how handsome the man is, and the thought of being in a confined room with him made you nervous.

Alcohol was running through your veins and the nervousness in your bones were long gone. You watched your friends sing, specifically admiring the way the neon light bounced off of Shang-Chi’s face. Shang-Chi suddenly turns to you, grabs your hand, and looks into your eyes while singing the lyrics.

Welcome to the Hotel California

Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)

Such a lovely face

Though you knew it was just him singing, you couldn’t help the feeling that Shang-Chi was singing to you. The sound of your heart beating rapidly ringed in your ear; if you had drank a little more, you’d probably kiss him then and there

“You gotta stop staring at her. Why don’t you just ask her out?” Katy questions, taking a bite of her sandwich.

Shang-Chi stares wildly at Katy as if she had asked him to rob a bank. “What?! Why would I... I can’t...what the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m not blind, you’re always giving her the googly eyes or looking at her like a lovesick puppy. Wait, are you sick, are you in love?” Katy places her hand on Shang-Chi’s forehead, which he quickly pushes off.

“Would you stop that, I’m not in love okay?! Not yet at least” Shang-Chi looks down at his food, mumbling the last part to himself. “Why would a girl like her, be into a guy who parks cars for a living?”

“Because a little birdy told me she also has the hots for you too…” Katy sings.

Shang-Chi lifts his head, trying to process the words his best friend just said.

“God, this is so sad. I’m taking this into my own hands.” Katy gets up from the table, dragging Shang-Chi with her.

“Wait! Where are we going?” Shang-Chi looks around, trying to process his surroundings, before he recognizes they’re in the lobby. “Hold on...wait...How are you this strong!? I can’t ask her out, she’s way out of my leag—.”

Katy shoves Shang-Chi in front of the desk you’re standing behind, both giving you a little wave. You laugh at their antics, curious to why they’re not enjoying their lunch, but in the lobby.

“Hi y/n, quick question. Did you or did you not drunkenly confess to me that you find Shang-Chi incredibly handsome and how his lips are soft and kissable?”

Your eyes go wide at Katy’s question. You had forgotten your drunk confession to Katy that night on the way home. Now bits of your memory come back, remembering how you told her you “wanted to kiss Shang-Chi’s soft lips” and “loved the way his eyes twinkled in the neon lights.”

“And you,” Katy turns to Shang-Chi, finger pointed “Just ask her out already. If I have to watch you stare at her any longer, I’m going to be gray and shriveled.”

You and Shang-Chi stare at each other, not sure what you just heard was true. Words form and fall at the tip of your tongues, unsure of what to do. Katy claps her hand, “Okay, my job is done. You guys can figure the rest out.” She walks back to her lunch, leaving you two alone.

“So uhm..haha” Shang-Chi laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, Katy was just saying...uhm jokin—”

“Do you want to grab coffee tomorrow morning...with me?” you ask.

“Like a date?”

“Uh, I mean..it doesn’t...yes. Like a date.” There was no turning back at this point. Your heart was pounding while you were wringing your hands.

Smiling, Shang-Chi gets a surge of confidence at your nervous state. “As long as you tell more about how handsome you think I am and how ‘soft and kissable my lips’ are.”

[therealmilfdennys]

Hagans Parties Fucking Suck

cw: alcohol, puke mention, a little bit of a tussel, pot/smoking mention, season three spoilers, tommy hagain is a piece of shit and i hate him. 

Nobody understood why Tommy Hagan continued to throw ridiculous parties after he graduated. He’d always had a ‘peaked in highschool’ vibe and it was obvious he was still playing off of his popularity this summer. Its humid, it feels like your shirt is sticking to your skin. You don’t know why you’d decided to come to this fucking party, but you’re starting to regret it. Tina and Carol keep asking why you’re dating the (second) ‘Zombie Boy’ of Hawkins and you can feel your blood boil with each of their little snobby giggles. It reeks of sweat and cheap booze, and you have a headache by the time Tommy asks if his dick is fucked up like the rest of him. You’re fed up at that point, angry tears welling in your eyes as you shout at the man. Defending Billy’s honor is something you’re used to, considering he scarcely leaves the shitty apartment you two have anymore. The Starcourt fire was on the news for the four months Billy was in the hospital. He’d had reporters force him into interviews as soon as he was able to stay awake for longer than 30 minutes. You wouldnt have Tommy Fucking Hagan make it worse. HIs nose is bloody and he’s on his ass in 30 seconds flat and if BIlly were here he’d be proud. You know it was a bad idea, but you’re a little drunk and a little stoned and a lot pissed off.

Hagan calls you a whore and a freak but you can just barely here it over the rushing of blood in your ears. It’s nothing you haven’t heard before. You dump the rest of your drink on his head while he struggles to get up, and curtly walk back to the front yard. You knew this was a bad idea. You wish you’d just stayed home with Billy and watched some shitty horror. 

The humidity is worse outside and your fifth drink is making you sweat. June in Hawkins certainly wasn’t California heat, but it was still hot. You watch a little toad hop across the step stones up to Tommy’s parents house, giggling a little bit, reaching out to touch it, pouting when it hop away. You’re folded over your knees and staring at the concrete when heavy boots plant themselves just in your line of sight. “Don’ wanna talk Eddie, smoked enough already.” You giggle drunkenly, hed rolling to look up at who you previously thought was your best friend. Billy is beautiful in the moonlight i you first thought. His is that you look fucked up and pretty at the same time, something he wont ever understand. 

“Couldn’t have gotten blitzed at home sweetness? Had to come to fucking Hagans?” He smirks, arms crossed over his chest, covered, sadly. He rarely went without a shirt anymore, swore it was cause he still couldn’t stand the heat but you knew it was the scars. You get a little teary eyed thinking about it in your drunken state, making him frown. “Hey was’that for huh?” He mumbles around a lit cigarette, crouching down to look at you better, eyes scanning for possible injuries. You shake your head, waving a hand absently. “You’re pretty s’all, Bills. Missed you, these guys suck.” You huff, glaring back at the open front door were two girls you dont know almost drop their drinks in shock and skitter off. He chuckles softly, taking the cup from your hands and sucking on his teeth when he sees your brusied knuckles. “Whats that from baby?” He all but growls out, a thumb running over the blushy skin. You shrug, a wobbly smirk crossing your lips. “Decked Tommy Hagan cause he was bein fuckin’ RUDE.” You shout, lookig back at the house with fire in your eyes. Billy scoffs in surprise, eyes a little wide and a little hazy. “Oh didja now? Good job baby, looks like you got ‘im good. Need some ice for that hand though.” He states, trying to keep you from going back in to finish your ‘fight’. You ignore him, huffing. “Was callin’ you names n shit, pissed me off so bad Bill. You’re so good and they’re so stupid. Don’t know they should keep their fuckin’ mouths shut.” You grumble, watching him pet your hand with teary eyes. He frowns around his cigarette, nodding. “Thanks babydoll, I appreciate you standin up for me.” He’s gotten better at that, letting people help him. Love him. It took awhile but he’s getting there. “I wanna go home though, you wanna come with me?” You look up at him wide eyes, sucking on your bottom lip. “Uh huh, stupid lame ass party. Like you better anyhow.” You grumble, trying to stand up and failing. Billy chuckles at your pitiful little whine, grabbing you under the arms and pulling you up easily.  Your laugh is music when you get thrown over his shoulder. “Unhand me you brute!” You say in a silly voice, patting his butt playfully, making him chuckle. “Quit that shit or I’ll drop you.” He says in a way too fond voice, putting you in the front seat of your jeep and helping you with the seatbelt. He knows in the morning you’ll be whiney and sick with a nasty hangover, but he can’t find it in him to care. He used to hate the sticky warm feeling in his chest when he looked at you but now he embraces it. Let’s his cheeks warm up and his eyes glaze over a little bit as you hum Zeppelin with the radio distractedly playing with your rings. This is home to him more than Neil’s house ever fucking had been, and he won’t trade it for the world. He’s also planning on eating you out so good you see stars as a reward for knocking Hagans lights out, but thats tomorrow. Tonight he has to make sure his baby doesn’t choke or hurl on the way home.

[rebelwrites]

I’ve Got You

Jax Teller x Plus Sized Reader

Summary - Jax senses his old lady is super nervous and makes a fool of himself to make her forget her worries.

Requested by Anon and @melissataggart87 Character A decides to wear a swimsuit to the beach/pool for the first time in years, they’re self-conscious but trying not to show it. Character B is just there hyping Character A up, showering them in love and appreciation because damn!

Plus Sized Reader Masterlist

This Months Writing

A/N I don’t normally add gifs now but this one needs to be on this post! Added it to the end of the fic!

The California sun was hot as it beat down on your exposed skin. At first you were so excited to hit the beach with your family but now the day was here and all you had to wear was a bikini that was eating you alive. Especially when there would be Crow eaters prancing around showing off their thin bodies, trying to get every guys attention.

Jax knew something was wrong, he always knew. He realised that you were feeling self conscious when you kept looking around making sure nobody was watching you strip out of your clothes, but he was watching. He had to practically hold himself back as he watched you slowly shed your clothes. The view he had was killing him and if it wasn’t for the fact you were surrounded by your family he would have taken you right here.

He could see how you were trying not to show how you were feeling, but he could see your smile wasn’t reaching your eyes like it normally did, nor was your laugh as loud as normal. He hated that you felt this way about how you looked, he had never once thought about your size as a bad thing. In fact he loved you just the way you were, stretch marks and all.

Making his way over to the group, he dropped the cooler onto the sand before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close. “Fuck, you look amazing baby.” He hummed in your ear, his lips grazing the shell as he spoke. “Don’t focus on the bad thoughts, do not let them take over and ruin this day.”

“I’m trying,” You sighed, leaning back into him, placing your hand over his arm. “It’s not easy.”

“I know Darlin’,” he whispered, kissing the back of your head, when an idea popped into his head. He was going to make you forget about your insecurities by making an absolute idiot of himself. “Now you just soak up that sun and we will have a good day.”

Once he was sure you had settled, he strolled over to the boys hoping they were in on the plan.

“Wait, you want to play volleyball?” Opie laughed, slapping his hand down on Jax’s shoulder. “You do remember you are shit at it right and always end up face planting the floor?”

“I know,” Jax nodded, “But if making a fool out of myself will help my girl not think about her insecurities then so be it.”

“Jackie boy is fucking whipped lads.” Chibs howled with laughter. “I never thought I would see the fucking day.”

Jax rolled his eyes at his brother as he tossed the ball at him. Before walking over to the volleyball net that was situated near where you were sitting. Even from afar he could feel your eyes burning into his skin, looking over his shoulder he threw you his famous smirk and a win.

Leaning back on the sun lounger with your arm behind your head, you kept your eyes on Jax wondering what he was doing. He had that sparkle in his eyes, the one he only got when he was planning on causing trouble.

The moment the ball flew through the air, you shook your head knowing what he was doing. Jax had never been the best at volleyball and refused to play. So the fact he was playing and making a fool out of himself just for you, made your heart skip a beat.

You couldn't take your eyes off him, watching the way his muscles tightened when he moved, making you pull your sunglasses down your nose, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you let your eyes drop down to his perfect ass.

Everything happened in slow motion, as he jumped to hit the ball. But it didn’t go to plan as he missed the ball and fell into the net, getting tangled up in the material. How he managed to jump as high as he did whilst on sand you would never know. But your body started shaking from how hard you were laughing, tears were rolling down your cheeks.

Pushing yourself to your feet, the feel of the warm sand on your feet brought you back down to earth. Shaking your head you made your way over to Jax. Holding your hand out to him the moment you were close enough. Without saying a word he took it letting you help him up and detangle him from the net.

“You are such an idiot, you do know that right?” You giggled, placing your hand on his bare chest. Pulling your lip between your teeth you looked up at him through your lashes.

“Well, it worked didn’t it?” he hummed, with a smirk.

“I mean, I was thinking about maybe you and me could take a dip in the sea.” you breathed, letting your fingers run down his sculpted torso stopping just as you reached the waistband of his shorts.

“Last one into water has to do the dishes every night for a month.” he winked before sprinting as fast as he could down to the waters edge.

A laugh escaped your lips, as you started to chase after him, completely forgetting about your insecurities of wearing a bikini. But what Jax had forgotten was the dishwasher he ordered at the start of the week, so you let him think he won, not wanting to bruise his pride.

@chibsytelford @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @jomariekirby @i-love-scott-mccall @pascal-reyes @fourthwallhateclub @withmyteeth @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @princess76179 @darklydeliciousdesires @melissataggart87

[tiedyemillenialbullshit]

Nightmare

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Avenger Reader Word Count: 3,431 Summary: Your best friend finally comes to visit the compound after you join the Avengers. What starts out as a fun night out, quickly turns dire for you and Bucky. Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Feelings, Mentions of Alcohol and Drugs, PTSD/Nightmares, swearing

“AHHHH Y/N!!” You hear her before you see your best friend running towards you, not a care in the world that your entire team has also turned around to watch you two galavant towards each other like long lost sisters.

You catch Sarah in your arms and spin her around.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re FINALLY HERE! And you’re early! Holy shit like I can’t believe you’re finally here in New York!! Let me introduce you to the team!” You grab her arm after she starts to show hesitance in meeting the Avengers all at once.

“Are you sure they have time? I don’t want to be a bother,” she says sheepishly.

“Oh my god Sarah, I talk about you all the time! They’re just as excited to meet you, come on.” You both walk towards the team still staring at you both near the entrance to the compound doing a quick debrief of a not-so-successful mission the day before.

“Guys, this is Sarah. Sarah this is-“ she cuts you off. “I know who you guys all are. It’s so nice to meet you! I’ll stay out of the way, I promise.” Everyone grins and introduces themselves to your best friend.

Nat smiles at you both, “On the contrary, you’re coming out with us tonight! No if’s, and’s or but’s”

Sarah seems to suddenly catch a second wind from her long flight and lets out a squeal of excitement.

You’re the newest to the “official” team, even though Steve and Fury had been trying to recruit you for years. You didn’t like the idea of the world knowing about your skill set and preferred to live a quiet life back in California. Ever since moving here, you’ve felt like maybe you weren’t home yet. Everyone was so nice and welcoming, but you missed your little house hidden in the outskirts of the National Parks in California. You missed the sun, the familiar smell of your patch of paradise and the general sense of room back home. Most importantly, you missed Sarah.

You were reluctant to invite her out to New York at first, but now that things seemed to be going smoothly, you sent for her via a car and private jet thanks to one Mr. Tony Stark. He was more than happy to help you out given your fresh and maybe sometimes bumpy arrival to the Avengers.

As everyone filed inside to break away before the evening festivities, Bucky caught your arm.

After holding you back for a second he said, “Hey, I can totally hang back tonight if you’d rather just be with Sarah and the team.”

You realize what he’s getting at. He also has some lack of feeling settled at the compound. It was something you bonded over when you first arrived. You both had similar pasts, even though they were at the same time lightyears apart.

“Buck, no. I think we’re all going out to Bleaker’s tonight! What’s a better way to get to know the team than bowling, beer, smoking inside, beer, old arcade games, more beer and maybe dancing?!”

Bucky gives you a quick glare out the corner of his eye before wrapping his metal arm around your shoulders to lead you inside after everyone.

“Fiiiiiiine, but I can’t promise I’ll behave.” You giggle, but suddenly feel a couple sets of eyes on you.

“And what do we have here?,” Tony asks with a smirk across his mouth. Sarah seems to be in the middle of an engaging conversation with Steve, so you don’t seem to have an easy out of this encounter. Bucky quickly drops his arm and steps a foot away from you.

“Uh, nothing. Y/N just seemed like maybe she wasn’t feeling well.”

“But I’m fine so here we are - have you seen Sam? Nat? Wanda? I told them we should be ready in a few hours and I jus-“

“Oh for Christ’s sake guys, your secret is safe with me,” Tony winks at you knowingly. You decide to take that as the end of the conversation and rush over to join Sarah.

“So! You have muscles.” Sarah says clearly at a loss of words looking at Steve in a tight shirt.

You and Bucky share a giggle, but pull Sarah away and save her from further embarrassment.

“What the fuck did I just say?” Sarah is about as red as a tomato as you drag her upstairs away from the awkward encounter. Steve looked a little flustered as well, which you file away in the back of your brain.

“Who cares! Let’s catch up and get ready for tonight.” Sarah is your best friend for a reason. Even though it had been 6 months since you last saw each other, it was like it was yesterday. You two spend the next few hours catching up, gossiping about each other’s families, friends, ex-boyfriends, etc.

“So! How are we doing in the boi department?” You turn around and face Sarah at the inquisitive tone in her question.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m good, I’m… I’m doing great, I mean yeah I’m good. WHY?” You’re stuttering and you don’t even care it’s obvious you’re blushing.

“Oh, you know. I mean, I’ve only recently met a few super soldiers, but I do think I can tell the there’s a spark between one and someone else.” Sarah so wants you to spill the tea but you promised Bucky you’d keep it quiet.

“Let’s just say things are developing and whatever you’d like to take from that you may.” You both launch into a giggle fit of her guessing and you denying certain aspects of Bucky Barnes.

When Wanda wanders into your room a few hours later, she starts laughing at what she sees. “You know you two are wearing like the same thing, right?” Exchanging confused looks at each other, you reply with a “AND?!”

Sam follows in with a smirk of his own. You’re bracing for his jokes but instead says “damn, OKAY! Everyone’s looking sharp tonight. Y/N, have you seen our bionic man around? Is he coming? He better come out tonight or I swear to…”

After Sam leaves to go find Bucky, the three of you wander down to find Nat and start the evening off with a shot or two. You aren’t much of a drinker, so one is enough for you. You much rather enjoy the company of your friend Mary Jane.

The team is getting silly with each other in the kitchen and quickly the room is filled with people yelling at each other to pregame harder, laughing when Nat’s little sister challenges Sam to a chugging contest and wins.

You feel a large hand at the small of your back. You can smell his cologne and know who it is immediately.

“Well don’t you look dashing tonight Sargent Barnes.” You lean in on impulse but stop yourself just as the girls turn around to see who you’re talking to.

“I was just going to say the same thing to you, sweets.” He mumbles in your ear before removing his hand and walking over to Sam.

The alcohol decides to hit you then, leaving you feeling empty that he’s not standing next to you anymore. Neither of you had wanted to have the “conversation” but you knew you were head over heels for him.

“CABS ARE HERE” screams Sam.

“Sam. For the love of God, stop watching Jersey Shore.” Natasha jokes to him.

At the same time Steve screams, “I understood that reference!” Eye rolls are exchanged as you all make your way outside.

The atmosphere is buzzing and you’re so excited to not just be out with your team, but to also have the only bit of family you had with you as well. You finally felt at home, at peace, and were ready for a fun night out.

Bleaker’s is one of those hole-in-the-wall dive bars that from the outside seems like a hard pass, but once you’re in, there’s no other place you’d rather spend a Saturday night. It’s true it started as a bowling alley in the 60’s. That still remains. What’s newer is the arcade in the back, where the old salon used to be. Jimmy bought the space next door, blew out the wall and filled it with arcade games that sometimes work and sometimes eat your money.

After years of being regular patrons, he knows your team well. The minute you walk in, he starts up all your favorite drinks.

“Ah! My best customers! I had a feeling I’d be seeing Earth’s mightiest heroes tonight.” You line up at the bar for whatever Jimmy decides you’re drinking tonight.

“Ah yes, two vodka on the rocks for my little Russian assassins. Sam here’s your vodka red bull which I don’t think you need, but here we are. Steve! Your drink of choice: an Old Style. Wanda, a cosmo for my favorite witch. And who do we have here, Y/N?”

You’re already both in hysterics at the old man behind the bar giving everybody a hard time. “Jimmy, this is my best friend Sarah. She’s visiting from California for a few days.”

“And whatever the lady wants can be put on my tab…” Steve butts in. Sarah immediately turns red but says “well in that case I’ll have vodka soda with lime please!”

Bucky has come up behind you and now you’re both laughing and watching the two of them stare at each other like no one else is in the room.

“Oh no, what did you do Y/N?”

“Let it play out, he’s not completely tripping over his words yet, maybe he’ll finally land a good girl.” You hush to Bucky.

Jimmy stares as well in amusement. “And you two? Your usual?”

“Yes’sir!” You shout over the growing music. Jimmy hands you each a jack and Diet Coke. You tell yourself it’s okay because it’s diet, but you know that’s a bunch of bullshit.

The other great thing about Bleaker’s? The dance floor downstairs. You always joke around that it seems like a nightclub that never closes in Amsterdam or something, but you’re serious. It could be 3 pm and sunny and you’d never know. It’s in the basement, it's always dark and the music is almost always too loud.

Usually that would gross you all out, but the energy tonight is pushing you all downstairs.

You reach back and grab Bucky’s hand not really caring who sees. It’s been months of sneaking around and either everyone knows and is playing it off like they don't or you’re really good at hiding it. Regardless, you’re over hiding. Maybe showing a little PDA tonight will get him out of his shell.

Sarah and Steve are no where in sight, assuming they’re ahead of you, you follow the team downstairs.

Minutes turn into hours. Everyone is dancing, laughing, sweating, screaming the lyrics to every song, and for a little while you can forget you’re a group of superheroes, and can just be normal 30-something year-olds.

You mostly dance with Bucky and quickly realize he’s a better dancer than you thought he would be. Those moves from the 1940’s must still be relevant in some way today, because the way he's grinding up on you and not caring if anyone sees just does something to you.

You work the room, finding Sarah, Wanda, Nat, even Steve for a song before you realize you don't see Bucky. You give it a few minutes thinking maybe he is in the bathroom. After 15 minutes though, you grab Steve’s attention and motion for him to check the bathroom while you check outside.

You race to the alley where you find Jimmy on a smoke break. “Hey Jimmy, have you seen Bucky? I can’t find him.”

“Oh yeah, doll, he took off in a cab about a half hour ago. Looked real flustered, but I didn’t want to press.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You thought you felt his mood shift about an hour ago, he was becoming stiff and quiet. You thought maybe he was just drinking a lot but now you’re realizing the loud music, strobe lights and base must have been triggering him.

“Ugh I’m such a bitch,” you huff as you send Steve a S.O.S text.

You: Hey, Jimmy said he just left. I'm sure he's heading home. I'm going to go find him.

Sire Captain Rogers: Go ahead. I think Sarah and I can find something to do while you find Buck. ;)

You: Yeah I’m sure you can.

You: BEHAVE. She’s my best friend.

Sire Captain Rogers: I know Y/N, don’t worry about us. Let me know when you find him.

You lock your phone and hop in a cab back to the compound.

No one is up or around when you enter through the front. The kitchen has been cleaned up, the dishes done. Probably thanks to THURSDAY, Tony’s beta bot for “cleaning up after you assholes trash the place.”

You smirk and head for the elevators. Heading straight to Bucky’s room, you can tell his light is on but something seems off. You don’t like to use your powers on friends or in the compound, but you close your eyes and reach out with your mind to find his aura. Your eyes snap open. You don’t sense him, you just see red.

Taking this as a good excuse to break into a friend’s room, you burst into the room to find it in disarray. Everything is toppled over, broken glass is on the floor, the bathroom light is on, but all you can see is his blood on the door and the floor. You’re panicked, trying to piece together what happened.

Again, you close your eyes and reach out for the familiar energy of Bucky. You find him in your room on the floor.

“What the fuck?,” you mumble and sprint up the stairs to your apartment. You shoot Steve a text on your way up.

You: Found him, looks like a bad one. I’ll let you know if I need you.

Sir Captain Rogers: Thanks Y/N. I’m just a call away, let me know if you need anything. Night.

Upon entering, you sense he’s in distress. His heart rate is elevated, he’s incredibly sweaty and is panting like a dog.

“Bucky? Buck, it’s me, it’s Y/N.”

Bucky stirs and jumps into a defensive standing position quicker than you can blink. You flip the lights on with a “BABE. Baaabe, it’s me. It’s okay, you’re safe. We’re in the compound. You had a nightmare.”

Bucky’s eyes are wide and alarmed, but you can tell the moment he recognizes you.

Rushing over to you, he takes you into a big hug. “Oh my god. What happened? Are you okay, did I hurt you?”

“No Bucky, no I just found you a minute ago. You had another bad one, what do you need me to do right now for you?”

Bucky stands back and rubs his swollen eyes. “I need to shower, can you help me?”

Typically, this is where it gets exciting, but you knew what he means. Water grounds him. He doesn’t feel like he’s falling in water. It helps him visualize the stress washing off of him.

You help him strip and get in the shower, but before you can even take his jeans off, he jumps in and pulls you in with him. You realize how desperate he is for whatever he’s feeling to pass and your heart sinks.

You’re both standing there, almost fully clothed holding each other. This is the worst you’ve seen him in a long time.

“I’m so sorry if I ruined your night, Y/N. The base sounded like the train, the lights looked like the machine they used on me, what the fuck.”

You aren’t sure what to do so you decide to sit on the ground and pull him down with you. You position yourself behind him so his back is in your chest. Even though he’s so much larger than you, he sinks down enough for you to reach over his shoulders and hold him.

“It’s okay Barnes, just breathe with me. You’re safe. You’re with me, and we’re home. Nobody is going to touch you. I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

You take in deep breaths so he can match your breathing.

After about 45 minutes, the hot water is out in the tank. Bucky sits forward and turns towards you. You want him to lead right now, so you don’t say anything. Neither does he, but the look in his eyes are telling you something about tonight is different.

With a soft smile on your lips, you cup his cheek until he is really looking at you. “Hun, let’s go lay down, ya? Let me help get you dried off.” Bucky hates when you fuss over him, so when he doesn’t argue, you know to be extra gentle with him.

After getting him up and out of the shower, you think skin-to-skin contact doesn’t seem sexual right now, it feels intimate in a grounding sense, and you know that’s exactly what he needs right now. Bucky seems dazed, almost like he got hit too hard in the head. You yourself are of course a tad over-served, and are quickly realizing the adrenaline of this entire situation is rubbing off.

You get Bucky into bed and turn to make sure his phone is plugged in and that he has a glass of water, but he grabs your wrist before you can move away. “Just leave it, it’s fine.”

“Buck, just let me-“ he grabs your wrist harder.

“Y/N. Please just stay here. Please.”

The entire time you’ve been together, he’s done a lot of things but begging you for anything is not one of them. Suddenly the phone and whatever hell else you were doing doesn’t seem important anymore.

You climb into your usual spot next to him and decide maybe you’ll try to get him to open up. The moment the back of your head hits the pillow, Bucky is facing you. His pleading eyes seem like they want to tell you everything that’s going on in his head, but you know pushing him to talk will just make the nightmares come flooding back too soon.

Instead, you decide to lay on your back and pull him to lay on your chest.

“Just listen to my heart beat, Bucky.” You hear him take a deep breath and settle into your chest.

You start and stop yourself from trying to say something comforting. You’re terrified to say the wrong thing at such a crucial moment. Typically these bad episodes are reserved for a Steve house call. You realize as he’s settling into a comfortable position that he hasn’t asked you to call Steve yet. Bucky trusts you in a way you didn’t realize until now.

You don’t know when, but you start humming the first calming song that comes in your head.

I’ll be seeing you In all the old familiar places That this heart of mine embraces All day through

Bucky picks his head up to look at you. Oh fuck.

“Where did you hear that song?,” he says to you with shiny eyes.

“You sing it all the time when you’re concentrating. I looked it up and added it to my ‘bath time/relax’ playlist. I didn't know Billie Holliday was a favorite of yours."

Bucky was looking at you like maybe this was the first time he saw you, like really saw you. “My mom used to sing that around the house when she was missing my dad.”

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I can hum a diff-“ you’re cut off with the most searing kiss Bucky has ever given you. He’s crying when he pulls back to look at you again. “Will you keep singing it?”

In that small cafe The park across the way The children's carousel That chestnut tree, the wishing well

By the time you finish the second verse, he has physically relaxed in your arms. You continue rubbing your hand up and down his back and shoulder, stopping to play with his long hair every once in a while.

I'll be seeing you In every lovely summer's day In every thing that's light and gay I'll always think of you that way

“I forgot how much I love hearing this song sung around me.” Bucky whispers so quietly you almost miss it.

I'll find you in the morning sun And when the night is new I'll be looking at the moon But I'll be seeing you…

You stop your caressing when you feel him sit up on one arm.

He leans down to kiss you but stops short to whisper “I love you Y/N.” You kiss him back and wrap your arms around his shoulders, and when you say “I love you too, Bucky,” you’ve never been more sure of something in your life.

[highdramas]

steady now | b.b.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: language, possible tfatws spoilers, mention of death? sort of? mention of the blip mostly, some angst, references to sexxxx babie

word count: 4.3k wowie

summary: bucky is not the only one with amends to make.

note: here’s another installment in the twalb story <3 again, you don’t have to read these in order, they stand independently, but they do all work together! PLEASE leave feedback/reblog! this is extremely helpful for me writing future parts to know what everyone likes or doesn’t like! i’m extremely proud of this part so i really hope that you all enjoy it as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it <3

enjoy! <3

there was once a time where you loved california.

there was once a time where you had a boyfriend with an easy smile and charming demeanor and a family in ventura. his name was felix, and you always told people that he could make anyone fall in love with him with nothing but that stupid smile of him-- of course, you never said how that upset you. you never said how it hurt when the waitress looked at him with dazzling eyes and how he seemed to relish in the attention.

you never voiced how he seemed to eventually bore of the attention that you gave him. you never voiced the way that you wished he would look at you with those dazzling eyes and give you that breezy laughter and that look that said i have you in the palm of my hand.

he did. he didn’t need to give you that look to know that.

sometimes, you wonder if he felt any sort of relief after the blip. you wonder if when you dusted right before him, if he felt like he won in some sick way. of course, you know that he would never admit that. he would never make that known to anyone. maybe even himself. but subconsciously… you wonder if you were simply an accessory that was worn out of convenience, and if your fading from reality was the biggest convenience at all.

it’s sick. you know it’s sick, and likely not true. but still. you wonder.

when you returned, the first thing that you did when you got your hands on a cell phone was call him. you called him and you cried and you said that you were okay, you were here. you asked him what the hell happened. you asked him if it had really been five years.

you heard a voice in the background. it was feminine, light, airy. the voice of a fairy. you’ll never forget hearing that voice. you learned later that she was his fiance.

you’ll never forget the sort of heartbreak that you felt. it was visceral. the knowing-- the knowing that it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anything that you did. it was merely the absence of you. you still wonder how long he mourned. you wonder how long it took. you saw him only a handful of times after you returned. he had cried, and you had stared, unsure what to say.

how do you apologize for fading from existence?

that was the first time you saw him. the second was worse.

the second, you were angry. you were angry and you lashed out. what was supposed to be an easy dinner turned into an explosion of tears and fury, the words this isn’t fair and what was i supposed to do? wait for you? and so desperately you had wanted to say yes. you wanted to say that you wished he had held out hope, that he stayed up and dreamt of you and that he was devoted.

it was a selfish thought. he had told you politely to not contact him again.

you had learned that he had moved back to ventura with his fairy girlfriend from some casual facebook stalking. they bought a house on the coast. they’re planning a wedding.. she is beautiful, and you noticed something from the pictures you see of them together right away. he looks at her not like he was charming her, but like she was charming him.

that’s what made you realize he was never yours to begin with.

now, you’re in california again. now, bucky sits beside you and he drives and you control the music. now, he looks at you like you have hung the stars in the sky and propped up the moon. and you look at him the same way.

bucky has amends to make, but so do you.

when he reaches over and places his hand on your thigh, you smile. you place your hand over his and you squeeze. you’d insisted that you two rent a convertible, and though he rolled his eyes, he obliged. you drive down the pch and it is april and the sun is warm and inviting but not abrasive. he wears sunglasses and he doesn’t wear the gloves. he wears a short sleeved shirt.

it’s enough to make you smile and lay your hand back against the seat and make you think: everything happened just the way it should.

bucky is here to extend his amends to the chaplin family. well… really, he’s here to set them up with the CIA. they’ve been hydra sympathizers for years.

you, on the other hand, are here to extend amends of your own.

bucky knows. bucky knows and he watched you recall the story with tears blurring your vision. you would hiccup and say, “i’m sorry. i’m not sad over him, not anymore. i’m just sad that i could be forgotten so easily.”

he had held your face in his hands and he swiped at your tears and he said, “you’re impossible to forget.”

at first, when you brought up coming with him, he had been hesitant. his endeavors with the amends and with sam, he tends to like keeping separate. you get it. you know he doesn’t want to put you anywhere near the danger that he encounters, even if that maddens you. but then, your face fell and you held out the wedding invitation that had arrived in your mailbox. “i want to go.”

bucky takes it and he studies it and he clenches his jaw. he looks at you through his lashes. “i’m going with you.”

now, the wedding is in three days. you wonder if he was surprise when you sent in your rsvp marked yes. you were surprised that he invited you at all.

once, you remember him saying to you, “sometimes, you have to extend olive branches. you’re too damn stubborn for your own good.”

this is your olive branch.

bucky squeezes your thigh and his thumb makes small circles and it instills a calm in you that you haven’t felt since you stepped foot on the plane. he glances over at you. “we don’t have to go.” this isn’t the first time that he’s said this. “we can stay in our hotel all week. i’m sure we can find something to do.”

your jaw drops and you look over at him and he has that smug look on his face. it’s been nice, watching him slip into ease with you. “you are such a pig.”

“i’m just saying, we have options.”

you laugh and you swat his hand away. he grins and he places it on the head rest, his fingers idly playing with a few strands of your hair that blow in the wind as he drives. you pull up to the hotel and you check in and bucky carries all of your bags, which you try to object, but he simply does not care. you fall back onto the mattress and he follows suit and he presses his lips to yours, presses them to your pulse point, your jaw. he whispers against your skin that you are beautiful. he whispers against your skin that you’re an angel.

angel. he always calls you that.

hours pass and you spend most of them beneath bucky, breathless. eventually it is the middle of the night and you have done nothing but fuck and you’ll be the first one to admit that they were hours well spent. he’s propped up on an elbow and he looks down at you, dewy and heavy lidded. “why’d you want to come out here? to the wedding?”

you can’t help but laugh. “that’s what you want to talk about right now?”

he blushes, moves to hide his face, but you beam and you place your hand on the side of his face. you push yourself up and sit criss cross, holding the sheet to your body, facing him. he follows suit.

the two of you do this back home. whether you’re sitting on the living room floor or in bed. it’s easier to talk in the dark, bucky once said. you’d never forgotten. so, this became a sort of unspoken ritual. you would sit with your knees brushing and you would talk and you would laugh and you never wanted this to change.

“i guess i don’t know why i wanted to come.” you reach for his hand and he offers it to you. you run your fingers along the golden grooves, and you swear that you see the hairs on his opposite arm begin to stand up. “i didn’t want to be seen as the bitter ex. i hate-- i hate being perceived. you know? like, i can’t control how anyone views me. i can’t control them thinking i’m crazy or irrational. but… they don’t know anything at all.” bucky’s eyes never leave you. “i wanted to come because i feel like i’m ready to face it. the truth of it. i don’t feel fearful of it all. i used to feel so… gross. gross about how i reacted and how i felt. i felt so selfish. but now…” you can’t help but smile a little bit and you touch the place on his chest where his heart lies in his ribcage. “i’m glad for it. all of it. it’s stupid, but… it brought me here.” you lean your palm into his chest just slightly more. he covers your hand with his and he pulls you in, your hand splayed out on him.

bucky is softening before you. so often you are the one who offers an ear and a comforting touch, but he is happy to repay the favor whenever you need it. “you’re too strong all the time.” his words are definitive, with no room for arguing. “you were hurting. you’re allowed to hurt. you didn’t have a choice in missing out on five years while the world went on without you.”

of course, you know he’s right, but it just feels good to hear it. it feels good to hear it from him. “and he was an asshole.” bucky’s jaw sets. “he had five years to mourn you and your relationship. he barely gave you a month. what sort of guy does that? to a girl he loved?” he shakes his head, as if shaking the thought from his person. “if that were me, i would’ve…”

you watch as he trails off. he looks down and away. you gently take his face and move it up, getting him to look at you again. he gives you this smile that is equal parts sorrow and loving, and you wish you could take away all his pain. “i’d mourn you for life. and i… if i got the chance to have you again? i’d--”

“bucky.” you cut him off smoothly and you shake your head. “that won’t happen.”

he smiles. “i know.” he pushes your hair back and his hand rests on the back of your neck. “i just can’t imagine someone having you and not--” he shakes his head. “he’s a fool.”

gently, your hands lay on his knees and you lean forward. “you asked why i wanted to come,” you whisper, your lips nearly touching his. “i wanted to come because i want to thank him.” you press your lips against his, and his hand goes to splay on your back, pulling you in nearer and nearer. “he recommended the apartment building.”

bucky grins and you connect in every possible place. you roll between the sheets once more and eventually, sleep overtakes you.

the days leading up to the wedding pass by in a relative blur. bucky goes to make his amends and though you offer to come, he shakes his head. “i’ll be quick,” is his promise, and he keeps good on it. he’s gone barely two hours.

you spend time on the beach and sight seeing. you don’t know if you’ve ever seen bucky this… relaxed. yes, he’s always slightly more alert than your average citizen, but you will never fault him for that. you go and get ice cream and you sit on a little bench and bucky stares at you. “what?” you asked and you raise your brows. “something on my face?”

“actually, yes.” he reaches out and swipes your bottom lip, coming back with some strawberry ice cream on his thumb. he pops it into his mouth and it makes your heart plummet to your stomach. “yum.”

you all but drag him back to your hotel.

finally, it is the day of the wedding.

bucky has been ready for hours. he likes unbearably handsome-- you’d gone with him to a shop in new york and had helped him pick out some new slacks and a nice fitting shirt. he had chuckled at the way that the pants hit his ankles and said, “it’s definitely not the forties anymore.”

you had picked out a sage green silk dress, and you smooth it out in the mirror, tilting your head to the side as you looked at yourself. bucky approaches you from behind and you’re so stuck in your own head that you hardly notice him until his hands are on you. they go to your shoulders, rubbing soothing circles into tense muscles with his thumbs. “you look beautiful, doll.” he leans forward and he presses a chaste kiss to your shoulder, which makes you smile, because it’s so him. “i wanna kiss you but i don’t want to mess up your makeup.”

“like that’s ever stopped you before.”

“i’m a gentleman.”

a smirk works its way onto your face and some of the nervous, fluttering monarchs in your stomach have begun to dissipate. you turn and he gently holds your face, examining it. he opens his mouth to say something, laughs, and closes it. “i don’t even know how…” he clears his throat. you swear that tears prick at his eyes. “i don’t even know how to say how much… how perfect you are. i’ll never be able to say it properly.”

everything about james buchanan barnes makes you melt, and this is no different. you sigh and you lean your body against his, and he holds you ever close. “thank you for coming with me,” you whisper into the skin of his neck. “i needed you here.”

he holds the back of your head carefully. “i’d follow you anywhere, doll.” he pulls back and his hand holds your face, and the vibranium is like a kiss to your cheek. “may i kiss you?”

your lips part and you nod-- and he takes his time kissing you. he kisses you long and tender, making sure that you feel everything. sometimes you think that this is easier than talking for him-- this is the way that he can show you how perfect he finds you. it’s better than any words he could string together.

the ride to the venue is somewhat of a blur. bucky doesn’t take his hand off of you-- it’s constantly holding yours. from the car to the walk inside to taking your seats-- you can feel the eyes that are glued to you, but you can feel bucky’s hand in yours more. you can hear the muffled whispers of gossiping friends and family, but you hear bucky’s murmured complaints louder, and they make you laugh.

felix is at the altar already. he’s talking with a groomsman and he laughs at something and you smile a bit. he looks happy, you think. bucky’s arm is slung across the back of your chair and his fingers trail up and down your shoulder, his eyes fixed on you.

you turn to look at him, too. you lay your hand on his knee and your smile says your thanks over and over and over again. bucky’s eyes flick to the altar, and he sees that you’ve finally been noticed. felix may be looking at you, but you will never know. you are looking at bucky.

the ceremony is pretty. bucky’s bored, you think-- that thought is enough to make you chuckle. felix’s fairy girlfriend is exactly what you gathered from the pictures-- she is energetic and kind, she is sweet and beautiful. the more you think, the more you watch the way that felix looks at her, the lighter you feel.

a part of you had feared that you would never get over him. that you would never get over the what if. possibilities tended to haunt you, but now, being here… you had known for a long time that not only had you gotten over him, you had found something so much better than what you had. but it’s the thought that thrums through you that you were not expecting.

you can see this for yourself. one day. bucky at an altar in a suit, you in white.

you smile to yourself in your seat. bucky looks over at you. you look over at him, just for a moment. your heart feels full.

felix begins his vows. “carly,” he begins and he clears his throat. you can tell that he’s already getting emotional. “never did i once expect to find you. never did i expect to find someone who fit with me so… completely.” you watch as his hands shake as he holds the piece of paper. “but i did. and i’m so lucky it was you.”

his vows go on, and they are beautiful. through it all, you can sense bucky beside you, entirely attentive to you.

the reception is on the beach. the sun is setting, and it is stunning. the food is good and every gives speeches and toasts and you’ve been placed at a table with some friends that both you and felix had known. of course, when shit hit the fan with you and felix, you hadn’t exactly kept in touch, but they’re kind nevertheless. some recognize bucky, and the questions they ask make you cringe. “so… winter soldier,” one of them, kya, begins. “you actually did all of that bad shit?”

it takes everything in you not to lunge across the table. bucky’s hand finds your leg underneath the table, already knowing what you’d like to do. you open your mouth to interject, but bucky cuts you off. “hydra did.” he gives a clipped smile. it leaves no room for discussion.

they ask about the avengers and about thanos, and all of it makes you roll your eyes. they talk to bucky as if he’s a toy rather than a human being. as everyone is mingling, you see the couple beginning to approach your table. everyone cheers and scoops them up into hugs. it makes a part of you sad. not because of him, but because it’s another reminder of how life went on without you.

you and bucky stand and approach them. you can almost feel bucky’s hesitation as he sizes up felix. the protectiveness in his stance makes your heart swell. carly smiles at you, but you can tell that there’s a hint of nervousness in her demeanor. “hi!” she says and she looks between you and bucky. “we were both so happy when we got your rsvp. a little surprised, but…”

your eyebrow raises and you look at them. “i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” you place your hand on bucky’s arm. “felix, carly, this is my boyfriend, james. james, felix and carly.”

he shakes their hands and you note the way their eyes flick to the metal one on the other side. bucky and carly begin to make awkward small talk, and you look at felix. he looks at you. there’s something knowing in the stare. “want to take a walk?” he asks, nodding towards the beach.

you nod. felix turns to carly and you turn to bucky, who has a slightly concerned look written on his face. “it’ll be fine.” you lean in and you kiss him, wanting to take any insecurity from him. “play nice, but not too nice. if they say anything stupid, call them on it.”

bucky smirks. “you got it, doll.” he looks to felix and nods to him, and there’s something in bucky’s eyes that must scare him, because you swear felix pales slightly. and then you and felix set off.

for the first part of your walk, both of you are quiet. it’s as if both of you knew that this was inevitable, and now you’re just trying to figure out where to start. both of you begin to talk at the same time, and it causes awkward chuckles to fill the air between you. you stop by a log and you sit, staring out at the ocean. you cross your legs and you look over at him to find his gaze still on the ocean. finally, it moves to you. “i’m sorry.” you both say it at the same time.

a sad smile settles onto your face and you look away. “you first,” he says.”

“i’m sorry.” you look at him again. “i’m not sorry for the way that i felt. i’m not sorry for hurting. but i am sorry that i lashed out. i was… angry.” you suck in a breath. “people who stayed… they’ll always carry the grief and the trauma of those five years. but the people who came back? we came back to a world that had moved on. i can’t… i can’t explain to you how hard that was. it wasn’t just you. i lost everything.” you shake your head. “i took it all out on you. all that hurt. and i’m sorry for that.”

felix nods his head. “i’m sorry that i wasn’t more understanding of what you were going through. that i just… cut you off.” he swallows. “i had five years to come to terms with the fact that you weren’t coming back. even when you were back, it almost felt… fake. like i was looking at a ghost.” he swallows. “but i missed you. i want you to know that i missed you, and i thought about you.”

a small smile works onto your face. “thanks.” you look towards the crowd, where people are laughing and dancing. “she seems great.”

felix looks over his shoulder. “she is. she keeps me… in check. i can be kind of an asshole. i don’t know how either of you dealt with me.” this makes you laugh and roll your eyes. “you and bucky barnes, huh?”

“i have you to thank for that.” he looks at you in confusion. “the building you recommended me? we were neighbors.” you smile, thinking back on the memory of bucky barnes at your door, asking if you needed help building your cat tower. “he is the best thing that has happened to me,” you say it with no hint of hesitation.

felix smiles. “he looks like he’s crazy about you. he barely looks anywhere else.”

you bite down on your lip. “yeah, i’ve heard that before.” the wind ruffles your hair slightly, and you look at felix and he looks at you. “i’ve spent a lot of time being angry at you. i don’t want to be angry anymore.”

he shakes his head. “i don’t want to either.” he pauses. “maybe… maybe, one day, the four of us could… you know, get dinner or something.”

“yeah,” you nod your head. “one day.” you stand, and he follows suit, and you look up at him. “thank you. for inviting me.”

“thank you for coming.”

there’s a level of awkwardness that rests between you, and you think that perhaps it’s inevitable. but also, you can’t help the sense of relief.

part of you thinks that he’s itching to hug you, and you may be extending some forgiveness tonight, but you’re certainly not there yet. you begin to walk towards the party. “c’mon. you need to go to your bride.”

when you return, you think bucky might be ready to drive his steak knife through his eye. you approach him from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and bending so that your face is beside his. “miss me?”

he snorts. “you have no idea, doll.”

you watch as felix makes his way to carly, and you meet his eye. he gives you a slight nod and a knowing smile, and you return it.

there’s a weight that’s lifted off of your chest.

“c’mon,” you say to bucky, tugging him up. “we’re going to dance.”

he groans and you laugh, pulling him by the hands to the dance floor. just as you are, you make me feel so young begins to play around you. as you step onto the dance floor, you begin singing the words quietly to him. your dancing slows to a light sway, and in your ear, bucky begins murmuring the words to you.

your eyes flutter shut and a sweeping calm comes over you. “you know… i never thought i would get married. did you?”

bucky’s hands have a firm place on your waist. “i grew up in the forties. of course i thought i was going to get married,” you two spin slightly. “but, after everything… i didn’t think that was ever going to be in the cards for me.”

your breath catches. “and now?”

“now?” bucky asks into your ear. “i can only dream i get lucky enough to have you as my bride.”

your cheeks grow warm. “mrs. barnes…” you lean back to look at him. “has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

the look on bucky’s face, you don’t know if you’ve ever seen that look before. “yes.” his voice is so firm it nearly brings you to your knees. “yes, it does.”

you two slow to a halt and bucky tilts your chin up. “guess i have some work to do,” his lips ghost over yours. “mrs. barnes.”

the world around you stops, and in that moment, it is only you and bucky. it is you and bucky at your ex’s wedding, and there is nowhere else you would want to be.

you’re beginning to understand why bucky likes making amends.

[tobesolonely]

it’s not christmas ‘til you come home

a/n: hello!! please enjoy this piece from my dad!harry universe! (u dont have to read any of them for it to make sense, but it would be cool if u did! loosely based on it’s not christmas ‘til you come home by norah jones <3 hope you enjoy! thank u to @harryysstyless​ for beta reading for me!! happy holidays everyone :)

warnings: SMUT, a bit of angst <3 word count: ~5.1k 

my ko-fi! thank you :)

December 23rd, 2:00 PM

For as long as you and Harry have been in a relationship, you’ve never not spent a Christmas together. 

Before expanding your family, you and he used to hop from party to party every Christmas Eve. Both of you would be absolutely trashed by the time Harry’s driver would drop you off at his house in the early hours of the morning. You’d sleep in until approximately noon, willing your hangovers to go away before finally making it down the stairs and into the kitchen to prepare two steaming cups of coffee. The two of you would then make your way into the living room and exchange gifts (where Harry always went way over the budget you’d set). 

Once you had your first child, Allison, your yearly tradition of party hopping and getting so drunk you could hardly put one foot in front of the other was no more. Instead, you and Harry opted for calm nights in, watching Christmas movies and drinking hot cocoa until she eventually grew tired and got carried up to bed. You would wait an hour or so before springing into action, playing Santa and setting out all of the gifts she asked for and then some. Harry never forgot to take a big bite out of the cookie and carrot left out for Santa and his reindeer.

This tradition stayed the same once your second baby, Oliver, was born. Even though he was too young to know what was going on, Harry was still excited to spoil him rotten this year as it was his first Christmas. However, given the current state of the world, you were afraid Harry would not be here for the first time ever.

“Mumma, when’s daddy coming home?” your six-year-old, Ally, asked for what had to be the seventh time that afternoon. “I made him a drawing for his gift ‘nd I can’t wait for him to see it!”

“Let me see what you drew for Daddy, love bug,” you say cheerily, purposefully glossing over her question. Ally proudly holds her drawing up next to her face. She looks up at you with wide eyes, awaiting a compliment from you. 

“That’s gorgeous, bug! Daddy’s gonna love it,” you inform her. “Maybe you can stick a lil’ bow on it and set it under the tree for him, hmm?” 

“Good idea, Mumma!” Ally runs to the box where you kept all the supplies for gift wrapping, digging around for a pink bow to stick on the corner of her drawing.

While she’s preoccupied with finding the perfect bow to place on her drawing for Harry, you take a quick glance at your phone. He still hadn’t gotten back to you since last night’s quick conversation when he very briefly mentioned he didn’t know if he’d be able to make it home.

He was filming in Los Angeles. You shared your uncertainties about him going before he departed but in the end, this was an opportunity you didn’t want him to miss out on. You read the Los Angeles Times free articles on your phone daily, keeping track of the state of the pandemic in Southern California. You knew it was much worse there than it was at home in London. You feared what you were afraid of was sadly bound to happen— Harry may get stuck in LA.

You didn’t want to say anything to your curious daughter because communication with him had been so sparse. You didn’t know anything for certain yet. But what were you supposed to think? You knew flying nationally wasn’t a good idea at the moment, never mind internationally.

“Hey bug, d’ya think you can watch your brother for a moment? Mumma’s gotta go make a phone call.” 

You hear your daughter let out a slightly irritated sigh. “I suppose I can, Mumma.” Ally responds with a voice laced with exasperation. You chuckle slightly under your breath at your overly dramatic (much like her dad) six-year-old and head into the kitchen, quickly dialing your husband’s familiar number.

“Hello?” 

You let out a sigh of relief upon hearing Harry’s low, hoarse voice. 

“Hi, honey. Just checkin’ in to see how things are going…” you hear shuffling on his end. “It’s December 23rd, you know.”

“I know, love.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Six in tha’ mornin’ here.”

“I’m sorry, H. S’just Allison keeps on askin’ when you’ll be home and ‘m just so worried you won’t make it home on time and you’ll miss Oliver’s first Christmas—“

“Darling,” Harry interrupts your anxiety-fueled ramble. “‘M gonna make it home. Have I ever not been there when I said I would?” 

“No,” you say quietly. “I’m just worried, Harry. I hear traveling is going to get very strict because they’re trying to prevent people from going anywhere for Christmas…”

“Fine, then I’ll get my own plane with jus’ me and a pilot. Wear a mask the entire time and whatnot. Yanno I can make that happen if it’s necessary, pet.” 

Harry’s calm demeanor about the whole situation brings you a bit of peace. Perhaps you were catastrophizing something that wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought it was a mere two minutes ago. If he wasn’t worried about not making it home, you didn’t see any reason to stress about it— not for one second longer.

“Okay then,” you reply, still a bit wary of his travel plans. “What shall I tell your daughter? She’s drivin’ me up the walls asking where you are every twenty minutes.”

Your husband lets out a breathy laugh, causing you to giggle along with him. “Tell her not to eat up all the Christmas cookies before I get a taste of one.”

December 24th, 8:45 AM

Part of you was hoping you’d wake up on Christmas Eve and Harry would be tucked into bed next to you, plump lips parted, the sound of his snores the only noise in the room. However, you were a rational woman, if nothing else. You knew he wouldn’t be by your side when you woke up. 

You make your way down the hall and peek inside your son’s room. He was fast asleep, plump thumb in his mouth. You smile at your sleeping baby and gently close the door behind you, deciding to let him sleep in a bit longer before waking him up to feed him. 

Next, you walk to your daughter's room, gently pushing open the door in case she was still sleeping. Instead, you find her sat at her desk, deeply focused on what appeared to be another drawing. 

“Good morning, lovebug,” you greet your daughter in a sing-songy voice. “You’re up early. What are you working on?”

“Makin’ a letter for Santa,” she replies, not bothering to look up from what she was doing. 

“A letter for Santa?” You start racking your brain for anything you and Harry could’ve possibly forgotten to get for Ally, but you finished your Christmas shopping for your children way back in November.

“Yes,” she answers matter-of-factly. “‘M askin’ him to make sure my Daddy is home by tonight so we can eat cookies together and watch Toy Story, Mumma.” 

“I’m sure Santa will make that happen for you,” you reassure her. “You’ve been a very good girl this year, been so helpful with Olly and doin’ so well in school. The least Santa can do is get you whatever you want.” You see her smile as she digs around in her crayon box.

“Can we wait ‘til Daddy gets home to make Santa’s cookies, Mumma?”

“Sure we can, bug,” Ally claps her hands together excitedly, bouncing around in her tiny chair. “Gonna go make some pancakes, does that sound yummy?”

“Can we have chocolate chip pancakes please?”

“Are you askin’ me that because your dad isn’t here to throw a fit about it?” You give her a knowing smile, causing her to giggle.

“Maaaaybe…” Your daughter turns to face you, swinging her legs back and forth.

“If I make your chocolate chip pancakes, you can’t tell your dad. Deal?” You hold up your pinky. Ally gets up and runs to you and you bend down slightly so she can link her finger with yours.

“I pinky promise, Mumma!”

“Our little secret, yeah?” she nods. “Keep an ear out for your brother for me, bug. I’ll be downstairs.”

December 24th, 3:00 PM

“Love? ‘M afraid I got some bad news...”

As soon as Harry’s voice comes through on the other line, you can tell whatever news he’s about to share with you won’t be what you’re wanting to hear.

“What is it?”

It’s silent for what feels like entirely too long. You get up from your position on the couch next to Ally, telling her you’ll be right back. After breakfast, she convinced you to watch Toy Story with her, which quickly turned into a whole Disney movie marathon.

“Not so sure I’ll be able to make it home.”

You’re not sure if it’s his calm tone that bothers you, the fact that you didn’t want him to go to Los Angeles in the first place, or simply the fact that you and your children missed him terribly and haven’t seen him in nearly a month–– but your mood changes from relaxed to undeniably outraged in three seconds flat.

“You’re kidding.” Your tone is sharp, venomous. Harry once again takes a moment before responding, knowing that the current tone of your voice means he’d best proceed with caution.

“‘M not, love. I woke up early and everything to try and get this sorted out, it’s 7 AM so I was gonna try and catch an early flight––”

“I told you I didn’t want you going to LA,” you cut him off, voice rising slightly. “You knew how bad the pandemic was getting there. I told you this would happen.”

“What do you suppose I do then, Y/N?” His tone is becoming equally as sharp. “Y’want me to tell ‘em, “Sorry, I don’t give a fuck about the travel restrictions. My wife wants me home so let's make it happen!” ‘S that what you want me to do?”

“Don’t be a smartass, Harry,” you spit. “I’ll give the phone to your daughter and you can tell her you won’t be home in time for Christmas, then.”

“Y/N…” his tone is calm again. Fearful. “Don’t make me do that.”

“She woke up early to write a letter to Santa to tell him she wants you home by tonight, Harry,” your tone softens as well. “Even Olly has been asking for you. Swear his new favorite word is ‘dada’.” He laughs at this as do you, and the shared tension that was present just minutes ago dissipates. 

“Just… lemme try a few more things before I tell her, yeah?”

“Harry, it’s already three here,” you gently remind him. “Even if you do make it home today, she’ll be asleep by the time you’re home. I think you just need to tell her.”

Your husband sighs, knowing you were undeniably correct. “Alright. Give Allison the phone, please.”

December 24th, 8 PM

“Almost time for you to head to bed soon, yeah Allybug?” Your daughter lets out a loud sigh in response, not shifting her gaze from the television to you. Ever since Harry told her he wouldn’t be home in time to eat cookies with her, she’s hardly said a word. She’s never experienced a Christmas Eve without her father so understandably, she was missing him tonight.

You shift Olly, who was falling asleep nursing on your lap, into a different position so you could face your daughter directly. From your new position, you can see just how tired she looks. 

“‘M not sleepy, Mumma. Gonna stay up and wait for Daddy,” she informs you of her new plans. “When Daddy is home that’s when it’s time for bed.”

“Ally, remember what Daddy told you on the phone earlier? Santa won’t come unless you go to sleep.”

“I don’t wanna sleep,” she’s quickly starting to grow upset. “Not until Daddy tucks me in!”

You purse your lips, not wanting to argue with your headstrong daughter when your son was so close to drifting off into his nightly milk coma. Turning your attention back to the movie that was quietly playing on the television, you decide to drop it for now and try again later.

December 24th, 9:05 PM

Not more than an hour later, Olly is upstairs in his crib fast asleep whilst Ally is still laying on the floor in front of the Christmas tree, fighting sleep. She was determined to stay up until her father walked through the front door, and you knew getting her to agree to go to bed was going to be a battle and a half.

“You’re not ready to go to bed yet, Ally?” Her eyes fly open once she hears you addressing her.

“Not yet, Mumma. ‘M not sleepy yet.” Her words are a little slurred due to the exhausted state she was in. You hum in response.

“Could’ve sworn your eyes just shut for a minute there,” you pause for a second to see if she’ll look your way. “Must’ve just been my old lady eyes playin’ tricks on me, y’think?”

“I wasn’t sleeping!” She immediately defends herself, frown lines indenting her forehead. “Can we drink more hot chocolate?”

You knew if you wanted your daughter to fall asleep within the hour, another sugar rush wasn’t the best idea. You instead offer her a hot cup of sleepytime tea and she excitedly agrees once you tell her it’s her father’s favorite type of tea to drink at bedtime. You place her down on the kitchen counter while you fill the kettle and wait for it to whistle.

“What are you looking forward to the most from Santa, bug?” 

Her eyes light up at your question. “Well, I really want a new bike! ‘Member Mumma? How I asked him for a pink bike? And I also want a cool swing set! Since we haven’t been able to go to the park in so long,” her smile falters and she looks down at her dangling feet. “I want Daddy to come home the mostest, though.”

Your heart feels like it’s going to break in two upon hearing your daughter admit that Harry being home would be the greatest gift of all. “So do I, lovebug. He’ll be here in the mornin’ to watch you and your brother open all the gifts Santa got you though, don’t you worry.”

For everyone’s sake, you hoped that was true.

December 24th, 11:50 PM

Sleep wasn’t coming easy. 

You finally got your daughter to bed at around ten o’clock and waited thirty minutes before laying out your children’s gifts. It took much longer than it usually did considering you had to do it all on your own. Harry was usually the one to quickly assemble the larger toys while you laid everything out around the living room. 

Despite it taking longer than desired, you were proud that you got it all done without waking your children up. Consequently, that meant you were now left all alone with your thoughts considering you had no more tasks to occupy yourself with. 

You kept contemplating calling Harry, but you weren’t sure if he was busy on set or not. Surely he was immersing himself in work to distract himself from the fact he would not be spending Christmas with his family. 

Deciding you may need a cup of the sleepytime tea you offered Allison earlier, you quietly get out of bed and open your door, sock-clad feet padding softly against the wooden floors. It’s unnervingly silent in your home–– the tea kettle coming to a boil being the only source of noise. You keep unlocking and re-locking your phone, finally deciding to call your husband to see how he’s spending his day. It goes to automatic voicemail.

You assume the reason for this must be that he’s busy filming on set and set your phone down with a sigh, standing on your tiptoes to retrieve a mug from the cabinet. You mutter a slew of curse words under your breath intended for Harry who always puts the mugs up far too high even though you tell him not to.

Right as you begin pouring the now boiling water into your teacup, the faint jingling of your front door causes you to startle so badly that you nearly drop the kettle on the ground. You try to think back to everything Harry ever told you to do in the event of an intruder but your mind goes blank from fright. Deciding to use the scalding water as your weapon, you slowly creep towards the door, your only plan being to fling the water on whoever it was as soon as they got the door open. As soon as you hear the lock click, you flick the lid open that covers the spout and draw your arm back.

“Shit––”

“Harry?”

Your husband jumps slightly, his eyes blinking rapidly in an effort to adjust to the dark living room. You reach beside him and quickly turn on the light, shakily letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. He looks exhausted, his hair is an absolute mess, and his eyes are red from sleep deprivation–– but he’s home. You set the tea kettle down on the coffee table and fling yourself into his arms, breathing in the scent of the man you haven’t seen in a month. He drops his bags at his feet so he can properly embrace you, pulling you into him.

“Merry Christmas, darling,” he presses a kiss to the top of your head and stays like that for a moment saying nothing, just breathing you in. “Missed ya so fuckin’ much.

“How? I thought…” you trail off. “You said that they said…”

Harry laughs quietly. “Remember what I told ya? I said to ‘em, ‘Don’t give a fuck about your travel restrictions! M’wife wants me home.’” You laugh at him, knowing he was far too kind to talk to anyone that way. 

“Yeah, okay,” you reply sarcastically. You pull him in for another hug, placing wet kisses along his jawline. “I’m so happy you’re home. The kids are gonna be over the moon, especially Allison.” Harry hums, surveying the room.

“Looks like you did a good job in here, Mrs. Claus. See ya even assembled some toys all by yourself,” he quirks an eyebrow. “Were you jus’ pretendin’ not to know how to do it all these years so I’d be stuck with all the hard labor?”

“Maybe.”

He pulls you back into him, tickling your sides. “My sneaky girl,” he bends down so his lips are level with your neck and sucks gently, causing you to let out a quiet moan. You see his eyes land on the tea kettle that was sitting forgotten on the coffee table. “Making a cuppa? Can I have one? ‘M freezin’.”

“I can think of something else we can do to get you warmed up,” you reach for his hands, interlocking his fingers with yours. “If you know what I’m gettin’ at.”

“Hmm…” Harry releases one of his hands from your grip and taps at his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “Not too sure I can say I know what you’re sayin’. Maybe you should just tell me?”

You frown. “You’re really gonna make me say it, huh?”

“Y’know I’d give you the entire world if you asked me for it. All you gotta do is tell me what you want from me and it’s yours–– ‘m sure you’ve known that since the first day we met, though.” Harry takes a step back, crossing his arms across his chest. Even in his thick winter coat, you can see the way his biceps flex, and it makes you even more feral for him.

“Fine,” you say quietly, feeling yourself start to grow shy under his intense gaze. “I’m kinda... in the mood.” You say it so softly that it would most likely be inaudible to Harry if he wasn’t standing mere inches away from you. Harry throws his head back in laughter and you quickly shush him, not wanting any of your children to wake up.

“In the mood? C’mon, pet,” he uncrosses his arms and reaches for one of your hands. “Tha’s not tellin’ me what you want from me. Tell me exactly what you want, lovie.”

“You know what I want, H,” you tell him with a hint of annoyance in your voice. “It’s been a month. Yanno I want you to fuck me, why are you makin’ me say it?”

Harry gives you a shit-eating grin. “You jus’ said it. I didn’t make you say anything.”

You roll your eyes at his immaturity, already in the process of lifting your nightshirt (one of his old t-shirts that’s become just a little too tight on him) over your head. “Are we gonna get to it or not? Because if not, I’ll just go back to makin’ myself some tea and call it a night––”

Harry takes half a step towards you and reaches up to cup your face, colliding his lips with yours. His lips are a little chapped and taste of his favorite rose lip balm. You feel your body relaxing into the kiss, knees going weak as he walks you back onto the couch.

“You’ve been eatin’ up all the sugar cookies, haven’t you? Can taste it on ya. Thought those were for Santa,” he’s pulled away from you to examine your face. “A bit naughty of you, wouldn’t ya say?”

“Please stop referring to yourself as Santa when we’re about to have sex, Harry.”

“You’re not bein’ very kind to the person that’s about to go down on you, are you?” He sucks harshly on the valley between your breasts, wanting to be sure a deep-colored bruise will appear on your skin later. “That’s okay. It is Christmas, after all. ‘M in a giving mood.”

“Stop talking and get to it then.”

Harry slides off the couch and onto his knees in between your legs, gently kissing your thighs. “Cute pair of undies–– s’like you knew I was comin’ home tonight.” Before you can respond Harry’s fingers are tugging at the waistband of your underwear, eager to get them off of you. He presses light kisses to your core, mumbling about how much he missed the smell of you and how sweet you tasted. 

One hand is resting across your stomach while the other one is in between your folds, spreading you open. You try squeezing your thighs around his head, overwhelmed by the feeling of your husband’s lips around your clit after being away from him for so long, but he removes his hand from your stomach and pushes your thighs back apart.

“Feels so good,” you’re breathless, tangling your fingers in Harry’s hair as his hollowed cheeks begin to suck more roughly on your clit. “Missed you so much. Missed this–– us.” 

Harry pauses momentarily to look up at you. “I know, angel. God, do I know.” He attaches his lips back on you, swirling his tongue around your clit as you  choke back your moans. The hand that is holding you open moves down to toy at your slit as he wordlessly checks to see if you’re okay with his fingers being in you. 

“Please,” you say softly, encouraging his next move. He spits on his index and pointer finger before slowly sliding both of them in you, immediately curling them up. “Oh, Harry. Fuckin’ love when you do tha’...”

“Know you do,” His response is curt, simple. He’s focused on the task at hand–– getting you off. He uses the hand that’s lying across your stomach to rub tight circles on your clit, sensing you’re nearing your orgasm from the way you’re starting to clench around him. “Such a good girl fo’ me, darlin’. Gonna make a mess on my fingers in a second, aren’t you?”

You nod as you try to control your breathing and the loudness of your moans. The last thing you wanted was for your daughter to come down to inspect the source of the noise. “Fuck, Harry.” 

“Come on, darlin’,” he gently pinches your clit, causing your body to jolt at the sensation. “Gimme a good one. A lil’ welcome back gift for me, hmm?” 

Your hips are bucking up to the rhythm of his fingers slipping in and out of you as your orgasm quickly approaches. “Har, I’m close…” it comes out sounding more like a warning than a statement. He moves the two fingers he has inside of you in a back and forth motion, coaxing your first orgasm out of you.

“Tha’s my girl,” he whispers, not stopping his movements even as your back arches as your first orgasm rolls over you like a giant wave. “Givin’ me a good one jus’ like I knew you would. Jus’ like you always do. M’ sweet girl.” As you’re starting to still, Harry pulls his fingers out of you and holds them up to your mouth, instructing you to suck them clean. 

You prop yourself up on your elbows so you can properly lean in to steal a kiss from him and notice a rather sizable tent has formed in his pants. Harry gives you a sheepish grin as he palms himself, hissing from the feel of his palm against his cock.

“Want me to do somethin’ about that?” You scoot over on the couch and pat the spot next to you, signaling for your husband to sit beside you. He lifts himself from his seated position, stretching his legs out a bit before plopping down beside you.

“Are you offerin’ me a blowie?”

“I mean, yeah?”

“Can we skip that an’ you can jus’ ride me instead? Think I’d quite like that.”

“Oh you would, would ya?”

Harry nods and unzips his pants, taking himself out. He licks his hand and gives himself a few pumps. “Still on birth control, I’m assuming?”

You roll your eyes as you move to straddle him. “Only been gone for a month, Harry. Of course ‘m still on it, you goof.”

“Can never be too careful. I don’t think now’s a good time for another lil’ one, do you? Think we should at least celebrate Oliver’s first birthday before we try for another one.” His hands are on his hips as he lines you up over his cock, helping you slowly sink down. You missed the burn of him which was even more intense than it usually was considering it’s been a while since he’s taken you.

“I think you’re right,” you reply. You rest your head on his shoulder while you adjust to the size of him, needing to take a moment to yourself before attempting to move. After a short adjustment period you begin rolling your hips, grinding against him in a way that was also bringing pleasure to your clit, still swollen and sensitive from your last orgasm.

Harry’s eyes are fixated on the way your breasts bounce in front of him, the way your stomach slightly jiggles each time you crash back down onto him. His lips are caught in between his teeth; you’re hoping he doesn’t break any skin so you don’t have to hear him whine about how badly the bruise hurts him later.

“Ridin’ me like your life depends on it,” Harry mutters. “Fuckin’ love takin’ you like this, angel. So fuckin’ deep.”

You simply hum in agreement, brain far too foggy to form a coherent sentence. Harry notices your movements starting to become smaller, lazier, so he puts his hands on your hips and decides to take over. He’s thrusting up into you like you’ll up and run away from him if he doesn’t give it his all. He cups your face with one hand and gently guides you towards him, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your lips.

“Fuck, H,” your eyes are squeezed shut and your wrap your arms around his neck, feeling your second orgasm quickly approaching. “Rub my clit please, almost there.”

Harry’s fingers immediately come down to rub at your slick nub, not faltering his relentless pace in the slightest. “Clench around me again, lovie,” his voice is higher than usual, whiny, and you know your husband is just as close as you are. “Love when you do tha’, jus’ need you to do it one more time.”

You do as he wishes once more, knowing once he cums you’ll be directly behind him. Harry lets out a string of expletives as he releases inside of you, pulling you tightly against his chest as he rides out his orgasm. You continue riding him, not slowly down as you chase your own release next.

“Harry,” you’re in a trance-like state, chanting his name over and over as you bring yourself over the edge. “Harry, fuck!”

“That’s my good girl,” he says quietly, rubbing your back as you rest your head on his shoulder while you catch your breath. You feel him beginning to soften inside of you so you lift yourself off and lay back on the couch, legs still shaking. It’s quiet for a couple of minutes as the two of you reveal in the afterglow of your orgasms, Harry gently running his fingers along your leg.

“Round two in the shower?”

December 25th, 6:42 AM

“Mumma! Santa came and he left lots of toys–– Daddy?”

Harry lets out a dramatic “oof!” as Ally jumps onto him, pulling the covers back. Her eyes are wide and she giggles are Harry pulls her into one of his infamous bear hugs, placing kisses all over his face.

“Mornin’, love bug! What’re you doin’ up so early?”

“It’s Christmas, Daddy! Santa came!” she sits back on her feet, a confused look on her face. “Did Santa bring you on his sleigh last night after me ‘n Olly went to bed?”

“Y’know what? He told me to keep it a secret, but he did,” Allison gasps in response to his news as she processes it, placing a little hand over her mouth. Harry sits up and gets out of bed, scooping her up in the process. “How ‘bout we go make Mum a cuppa before we see what Santa got for you and Olly? Tha’ sound good? Let’s let them sleep for a while longer, hmm?”

As you hear them exit the room you take a second to reflect on how lucky you are to spend another Christmas with you beautiful family before drifting back off into a deep, albeit short, sleep.

[hotchnerxo]

Our Past Life: Chapter 12

Pairing: Aaron hotchner x fem!reader

Story Summary: You and Hotchner go way back, but haven’t seen each other in years. Until he finds you inside of his office one day, out of the blue.

Chapter Summary: You and Penelope reach out for the team, trying to find out if anyone knows more than you do.

Words: 1.5k (this one is a bit shorter than usual)

A/N: Angst starts here! This story will be about 20-21 chapters long, so we have quite a ride ahead of us! Feedback is always more than welcome. Chapter 13 will be here on Monday!

Every nerve in your body feels like they’re bursting into flames. And it burns out all the oxygen in the room. All you hear is buzzing in your ears as your anxiety takes over. It takes over your body, making it feel distant and heavy.

“(Y/N)? Are you still there?” Penelope’s voice echoes from your phone, but doesn’t fully register with you. All you can think about is that you should have trusted your gut feeling, you should have checked on him sooner. What if something had happened? “Breathe, please. I will get the team on the phone and we’ll make sure if anyone’s heard from him since. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this. Stay on the phone with me” she explains and you’re grateful for her calm, soft tone.

The phone rings and the two of you wait. “Hey, baby girl!” Derek answers. He sounds out of breath.

“Hey you! I have (Y/N) on the line with me” Garcia explains quickly. Confusion is audible as Derek greets you. “Derek, have you heard from our liege?”

“Hotch? No, not since Sunday. Isn’t he in California with you?” he asks, his voice now a lot deeper than what it was before. He’s starting to realize that this isn't a light hearted, just-to-chat kind of a call. You hear a man’s voice calling for Morgan behind him and Derek is quick to respond, telling him that he needs a moment. “Sorry, I’m at the gym. When’s the last time you heard from him?”

You try to clear your throat, the lump in it growing painful “On Sunday” you admit in defeat “he dropped me off at the airport and it’s been hectic in here so I didn’t even pay attention to not getting a response from him until today”.

“Have you checked the others?”

“You’re the first, I’ll call everyone through” Penelope explains and dials the next number. Derek asks to stay on the line. You hear thumping from his line. The sound reminds you of a punching bag getting hit.

“Hello!” Reid is the next one. Penelope is quick to ask the same question from him. He is just as confused by the questions asked. “I thought he was taking some time off”.

“We all did,” Derek sighs.

You feel your eyes starting to water, just thinking of this whole situation. Something must have happened. This is so not like the man you know. “What time did you get his message?” your voice comes out more like a whisper than anything, but you’re glad Spencer is quick to answer.

“It was on Sunday at 5:12PM”

You love how the answer comes from him like it’s the most obvious thing, like the specific time is totally common knowledge. You go to think back, trying to remember the time frame. As you try to gather your thoughts, the phone rings again, new person being dialed into the conversation.

“I went through security right before five, I remember sitting at a cafe soon after” you tell them and in a moment hear another one join in.

“Penelope, as much as I do enjoy your calls” David starts but she is quick to cut him off, panic starting to raise in her tone as well.

“Please tell me you’ve heard from Hotch”.

There was some faint music being played in the background. “No, haven’t heard from him. Glad he’s taking some time off. What’s this about?”

“We can’t reach him” she sighs, trying to keep her cool.

Rossi tries to brush it off by saying that Aaron’s most likely enjoying his time off with you, but as you tell him that he’s not with you, the line goes silent on his end. The only sound is coming from Derek’s background.

“He dropped me off at the airport right before 5pm on Sunday, and you’ve gotten a text from him soon after. That’s the last we’ve heard from him” your explanation is quick to turn into desperation and tears. Your nerves leave you overwhelmed and it’s all crumbling down as no one seems to know anything.

The tears are fully blurring your vision now, so you take a seat on the couch. You try to stay quiet, but it’s certainly not the easiest thing to do. You try to cover your sobs with your hand and just listen as Emily is being added to the call.

“Hey Penny!” she greets her.

“Hey Em. I have Derek, Reid, Rossi and (Y/N) on the line with me” Garcia speaks and fills her in quickly. “Please, have you heard from him since Sunday?”. None of you were surprised as she says she hasn’t, that seems to be a repeating theme so far. No one knows anything about nothing.

“Something’s off” Dave says it outloud that all of you have been thinking, but too afraid to say.

“He would have had plenty of time to catch the same flight with me if he’d wanted to come, why did he wait almost half an hour before letting you know? And not let me know?” you try to think, but you’re not sure if your thoughts are making sense at this point.

“If he was the one to send the message” Spence adds and immediately regrets opening his mouth.

You hadn’t even thought of that. Did Aaron send the message? Did someone send it for him? Or did he send it, but just to cover up something else? The options start to circle in your head again and the panic in your chest grows again.

“I’m sure there’s an explanation for this. We’ll figure it out” Derek reassures everyone, but you’re not sure if he fully believes in his own words either. No one can deny that something’s off with this, something doesn’t seem right.

“Hey Penelope” JJ is being added to the conversation and you’re hopeful she knows something. She’s the last one, she has to know.

You go to explain the situation to her, trying to make it make sense in your own head at the same time “Please tell me you’ve heard from Aaron since then” you plead to her, as if it would make a difference to her answer.

But just like before, she hasn’t. Your heart sinks by her words. “It’s been over two days now” her voice is almost a whisper as well and the team is out of words. They all know the odds. if something has happened… But they are trying to stay calm and collected, trying to think of their next move. “The text” Jennifer gasps suddenly.

“What text?” Emily is the first to ask, others staying silent, waiting for her explanation.

A small whimper is heard from Garcia’s end. “The number he asked me to look up” she remembers the post it note she got from him weeks ago. She’s pushed it aside, but she’s sure she will find it within seconds on her computer.

“What are you talking about?” It's Derek’s turn to ask. You hear a ‘beep’ coming from around him and what sounds to be a car door opening.

“On Sunday” JJ starts to explain “at the brunch. He got an odd text, he showed it to me as I went to check on him, I thought we’d gotten a new case or something. It was strange”.

“What did it say?” you ask between your cries. Being so far away is what made the situation even worse for you.

The blonde takes a moment to think, trying to remember the way it was phrased “I think it said something along the lines of ‘If you could, what would you do to make sure your past doesn’t repeat itself?’ I asked him what it meant but he didn’t know. He said he'll look into it first thing on Monday and report it. He told me not to worry about it, that he’d handle it”.

“I think he’s gotten something like that before. I don’t know what the text said, but he asked me to trace a number that wasn’t case related. It ended up being a dead end” Penelope adds and you hear her typing faster than you’ve ever pictured possible.

“Alright. I’m on my way to the office. I’ll meet you there as soon as possible” Rossi states firmly, no longer questioning the situation. He didn’t need to ask if the other members were available, everyone’s ready to drop everything and head to work immediately; their friend could be in trouble.

You admire their dedication and the way they have each other’s back. And you know that Aaron trusts his team, his team is the best. They’ll figure this out, they’ll find him, wherever he is.

The team says their goodbyes and see you soons. You’re left on the line alone with Garcia and you can’t muffle your desperation any longer. “It’s all going to be alright” she tries to encourage you. Her voice feels like a big hug. “I’m booking you a flight in D.C. Are you able to come here?”

“I’ll take the first possible flight, I’ll make it work” you almost demand, your voice coming out harsher than you mean it to. “Thank you”.

“We’re a family here. We’ll find him”.

Taglist: @ssahotchsbitch @mayasreadingnook @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @ssamorganhotchner @kajjaka @reidsbookmark @thenewnormalforensicator @wheelsupkels @thedancingnerdmermaid @agirlinherhead @tonystarkscumslutz @haley-h0tchner @ashhotchner @itsmytimetoodream @marvel-mars @witchybitch2 @evie-119 (let me know if you want to be included)

[calpalirwin]

Permanent Vacation

Summary: Calum falls for a musician.

A/N: I just really wanted an excuse to use Arrows in Action newest releases in a fic. (They’re bangers. You should go give ‘em a listen.)

Word Count: 2.8k

And away, and away we go!

__

The sun was hot as it beat down on my neck, the line for the beerstand long, and the noises of people chatting excitedly were loud in my ears. But I didn’t care in the slightest. After the isolating shitshow that was quarantine, I was more than happy to be out at a festival with, wait for it, live fuckin’ music. The only way I could be happier was if my band was in the lineup, but this was still a pretty close second. To be surrounded by musicians and people who loved music was a breath of fresh air after so long. A breath of very hot fresh air. But still.

Behind me I heard the girlish giggling and whispers of my name, which drew the attention of the group in front of me: three guys, and a girl around my own age, two of the guys a good shoulder and head taller than the other man and girl. The shortest of the guys whispered, “Could you imagine if we got noticed like that?”

The tall brunette’s eyes went wide as he pulled a face and shook his head. “No, thanks. I think I’d cry.”

The other tall one with purple hair laughed loudly, “Aw, c’mon, that would be rad! His band’s not even in the lineup and he still gets recognized. Could you imagine?”

“He has a name, and can hear you, J,” the girl hissed with a playful eye roll. Then, she flashed me a smile before calling out in a loud voice, “Hey, man! Good to see ya! How ya been?” to me, before taking a step forward and stretching up to wrap her arm around my shoulders like we were old friends. “Just go with it,” she added under her breath. “Nobody’ll bug you for pictures and autographs if you’re with a bigger group.”

“Thanks,” I laughed at her rescue attempt. “But it’s fine if they do. I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, but they can at least let you buy a fuckin’ beer first.”

“Well, thanks again,” I said, not sure of what else to say, or do so I let her pull me up with her friends who were all staring at her with I’m sure the same look of soft shock I had on my own face.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” She let go of me as she started introducing her friends to me. “And this is Jesse.”

“Hello,” the tall one with purple hair smiled warmly.

“That’s Matt,” she nudged the other tall one.

“Hey.”

“And this is Vic,” she finished, looking at the shortest man who waved.

“Nice to meet you guys. I’m Calum,” I said, then realized how stupid that was. “But, you already knew that, huh?”

Y/N grinned, holding her thumb and index finger close together. “Just a smidge. But it’s cool. So, any bands you’re particularly excited to see?”

“The Maine and All Time Low mostly. I’m a huge fan of The Maine, and All Time Low are friends of mine.”

“Both are great bands. And the All Time Low guys are good friends to have, for sure.”

“Oh, you know them?”

“Yeah, we worked with them a few times.”

“Worked with? Fellow musicians, huh?”

She laughed. “We’re up and comers, yeah.”

“Your cool aunt’s favorite band,” Jesse grinned at me.

Y/N laughed more at the confused look that crossed my face. “That’s one of his favorite ways to refer to us. Like we’re the band you find out from word of mouth from the cool relative that’s always discovering new music.”

“Ah,” I said, nodding in understanding. “Been there. Are you guys in the lineup?”

“Yup!” she chirped happily as we got to the front of the line. “5 beers, please,” she told the person working the counter.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” I tried to decline, reaching quickly for my wallet.

“Relax, it’s just a beer,” she told me, passing me one of the cups being placed on the counter. 

“Well, thanks,” I said, raising the cup and taking a sip. “I’ll getcha guys next time.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” she grinned around the rim of her own cup. “Enjoy your beer, Cal. See ya around.”

~~~

I took the last swallow from my beer, cursing myself for not having stopped her to get the name of her band, or at the very least her last name. But before I had a chance to get the words out, I’d been bombarded with requests from fans for pictures, engaging in small conversations with them, and by the time I was done, Y/N was long gone.

So I resigned myself to walking around the festival grounds, my head reeling. It wasn’t often a woman pretended to be my friend to rescue me from the onslaught of fans. In fact, I couldn’t recall one time that's ever happened. I also wasn’t used to being bought drinks, even if I was still fully intending to return the favor. Although that would require me to find her first. But something told me that wouldn’t be too difficult.

I was grateful I’d come on my own, and not with Ashton who would have no doubt teased me about how hooked I was on the girl. The cynic with a crush? Whatever were the odds? And was it even technically a crush when I’d only interacted with her for maybe five minutes? Okay, maybe Ashton being around wouldn’t be the worst thing if he could help me make sense of the jumble of thoughts in my head. The way that man could bounce from crush to crush almost seamlessly was enough to give me a case of whiplash. 

I sighed as I tossed my cup in the trash. Whether or not it was a crush was still to be determined. All I knew was that I liked her energy, and wanted to see her again. And… that was a crush, wasn’t it? God. Fuckin’. Damn it.

A guitar chord rang out loudly, and there was a mad dash of people running towards the stage. Slowly I pushed my way through the crowd of people towards the front, grinning when I noticed it was her on stage, and grinning even more when I noticed the instrument in her hand. A bassist? Fuck, I was definitely in trouble now.

The shortest of the men, Vic, I recalled, started singing, with the other three providing backup harmony on the chorus. Until they got to the bridge that was all Y/N, her voice ringing out “Tomorrow’s a nightmare, I’m dreaming today. And my head is haunted, the past just can’t stay. The devil you know, yeah he comes and he goes. I’m selfish, and vapid, I hide in my prose!” before they launched into the final chorus.

“What up, Anaheim?!” Vic yelled into his mic to a scream of cheers and applause. “We’re Arrows in Action, and that was our newest single, Only Be Mine. I’m Vic. We got Matt over here on guitar. Jesse’s on the drums. And Y/N’s over there on bass. We got a few more songs for you all. And if you’re an awesome crowd, we might have a special treat for ya at the end of our set. Sound good?”

We answered him in whoops of cheers and loud applause, causing them all to grin as they launched into their next song.

They played seamlessly through about three more songs, enjoying the feeling of playing live in front of people again, before Y/N whooped into her own mic. “Whoo! It’s hot! Anyone else hot? Y’all staying hydrated out there?” she asked us, before flickering her gaze across the stage at Matt who was wiping his forehead. “You good, Matt?”

“Dude, it’s like a million degrees up here,” he commented, before taking a huge swig from a water bottle.

Y/N laughed. “Right. Y’all gotta understand. Matt’s from the cold states. Then there’s Vic and I who are California natives, technically, right Vic?”

“Yeah, I was born here. But I didn’t live here as long as you did.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. So Vic and I are used to the heat. Matt, not so much. And Jesse? How you doing back there, J?”

“Me?” the drummer pointed at himself in confusion “Oh, I’m great!”

“Great enough to give this crowd a real surprise?” she asked, her voice laced with playful trouble, as she looked at all her bandmates. “C’mon, boys what do ya say? Wanna give this crowd something special before we go?”

Again, we all cheered and applauded as encouragement for whatever surprise they had in mind. “Alright!” Vic laughed. “Alright, you wanna go ahead and introduce it then?”

She smiled wide as she turned towards us. “Alright, everybody! We’re Arrows in Action. We’ve had a great time with y’all! So, as a thank you, we’re gonna play a new song that we haven’t released yet. Is that cool with you?” She laughed as she awaited the response of screaming, whistles, and applause. “Alright. This is called Permanent Vacation, which will be available on all listening platforms this Friday. Let’s go!”

Matt started playing a series of chords that sounded incredibly familiar, while the other three clapped to the beat. But right before the lyrics were supposed to come in, Vic started talking into his mic. “Wait, wait, wait!” he laughed. “I don’t know the lyrics to this!”

“So it’s just like every other song,” Y/N teased him with her own laugh.

“Nah, I think it’s cuz that one’s not ours.”

“Be rad if it was though,” she said, and I swear she shot me a wink. “Alright, alright. So, that one’s not ours. But this one definitely is. And it’s definitely called Permanent Vacation. And it’s out Friday.”

A new guitar and drum beat started up and Vic immediately started singing, again with the rest of the band providing back up vocals until the bridge where it was all Y/N. A soft build before a wild yell that would have torn my own vocal chords to shreds.

“I’m locked and loaded, fire away! Permanent vacation from my brain. Extend my stay another day. Far from home, not alone,” they all finished with a flurry of chords. “Thank you!” Vic croaked into the mic. “Thank you guys so much! We’re Arrows in Action, enjoy the rest of your night!”

With tired but happy smiles, they all bowed before exiting the stage. I moved to follow, but thought better of it, going to hit the drink stand first where I bought 5 beers and 4 waters. A small challenge, made slightly easier by the person working the stand putting the water bottles in a grocery bag for me. With that hanging off my arm, I held 2 beers in each hand, and my own in my teeth.

“Cal!” she laughed, her face flushed when I found them lounging in the grass. “You didn’t have to do that,” she told me as she rose to her feet to help me distribute the beers.

“I said I’d get the next round,” I offered up simply, setting down the bag and taking a seat with them all. “I brought you guys water, too.”

“You really didn’t have to do that,” she laughed, tossing the bottles out anyway, and sitting back down, this time next to me. 

“Shut up, Y/N, let the man do what he wants,” Jesse said, downing a water bottle in 2 gulps before turning his attention to his beer. “You’re rad. Thank you.”

“For real, man. This was really cool of you,” Vic said.

“Yeah, huge thanks,” Matt nodded.

“What they said, I guess,” Y/N laughed again, following Jesse’s lead of downing her water bottle before going for her beer. “Fuck,” she sighed. “That’s good. Thank you, really.”

“Happy to do it,” I answered. “That set was amazing, by the way. And that joke at the end was pretty clever. How long were you planning that?”

She giggled. “Uh, well Jesse and I are much more the 5sos fans than Matt and Vic are. But we’re all familiar with your music. And when we were writing the song, and settled on the title, I suggested that it would be funny to start playing your version if we ever got the chance to play it live. Which meant bugging Matt to learn the guitar parts.”

“So you’re the troublemaker of the band?” I guessed.

She shrugged, and hid behind the rim of her cup. “I mean… Depends on the day.”

We continued to lay in the grass, making small talk as we all finished our beers, before Jesse cleared his throat. “Uh… Matt, Vic. You guys wanna come with me to get a good spot for the rest of the acts?” he asked, the suggestion in his tone heavy.

Matt and Vic shared a look, before nodding. “Yeah, yeah of course,” they said, all three of them getting up.

“You assholes are just gonna leave me?” Y/N asked, looking up at them.

“Just come find us when you’re ready,” they winked. “Thanks again for the beers, Cal.”

“Assholes,” she muttered again as they all made themselves scarce. “Sorry about them.”

I laughed, waving it off. “Nah, it’s cool. And kinda nice, maybe?”

“Oh?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Uh…” her face flushed. “I mean…” she started to stammer. “Yeah. Yeah.”

I gave a half chuckle, scratching at the back of my neck. “Look, it’s fine if you’re not… I mean, I figure you probably are if they did that for you, cuz they have no reason to do it for my sake. I mean, they’re your friends and bandmates, not mine. But I know a wing man set up when I see it. But if it’s more of a meddling wing man set up, like that’s fine,” I spilled out, before realizing I was rambling.

“No!” she rushed. “Oh, no, that’s not what I meant at all!” She covered her face in her hands, groaning “Oh, this is so embarrassing…” Her hands moved to push through her hair as she took a long breath to steady herself. “Of course I like you, Cal. Like before I even met you. One of those embarrassing fangirl crush type of deals. And I mean, I’m a bassist in a punk band, so you’re also someone I idolize and take inspiration from.” Slowly her gaze lifted from her lap to lock onto mine. “And then I met you today. And  you’re everything I thought you’d be. Thoughtful. Generous. A bit shy, and quiet at times. Nice. And it makes the crush that much stronger, and harder to deal with. Cuz now it’s real. And I feel like I know you. And it’s just… Ugh, it spirals from there, ya know?”

“A good spiral, or a bad spiral?”

“Bit of both? Like the insecurities in me say that you’re an A-list celebrity, while I’m more of like… not an A-lister. My band’s not on the same level yours is. I mean, we play bars and small day festivals. You sell out stadiums and have world tours. There’s a clear discrepancy. But then, another part of me doesn’t give a shit about that. It sees how we’re like-minded. It sees all the ways we click, and all the ways we could work. And that’s where the cocky part comes in, where it sees the like-mindedness and the reasons we could work, and calls you an idiot if you can’t see it too. That, uh, screwed up defense mechanism of it being your loss, ya know?”

“Mhm.”

She sighed. “Sorry. I said a lot. Point is, I do like you. And, that’s that.”

“So the ball’s in my court?”

“Only if you want it to be. And if you don’t, then no. There’s no ball. No court. Just two people who have a few things in common.”

“You wanna hear what I think?”

“Go for it.”

“I think your friends left us for 2 reasons. 1 being that they’re loyal to you, and know how you feel about me. 2 being that they’re also guys. Which gives them a pretty good insight for how I’m feeling too.”

“Uh-huh…” she nodded slowly. “And how you’re feeling is…?”

I could have said the words. But I settled for leaning in, brushing my lips softly against hers for the sweetest of moments, listening to the way her next breath got stuck in her throat. I pulled away, smiling softly at her and shrugging my shoulders.

She traced her lips with her thumb, bewilderment written on her face. “Okay, you really didn’t have to do that.”

“Relax,” I chuckled, stealing her words from earlier. “It’s just a kiss.”

“Well, thanks. I’ll, uh, getcha next time.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

__

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