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Alicent Hightower in 1.07 Driftmark
#alicent hightower#hotdedit#house of the dragon#gotedit#asoiafedit#alicenthightowerdaily#alicenthightoweredit#alicentedit#hotdcentral#gotdaily#*#mine#im still getting a hang of the coloring thing#they'll get better
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@pixelsbuildmysoul
#i promised shite here you go#request#reqs open#commission#but not technically bc it's free I'm just fuckin around#they'll get better#you just WAIT i got the goofiest request i love it coming up#sorry pixels Ú-Ù these little dudes came out like the first batch of pancakes#paving the way#and edible#but anestheticly ahead of their time#hozier#shitpost#artists on tumblr#my art#requests#please please please#anyway#doodle#digital art#goofy#frog art#frog#snek#snake#cute hat#thank you for the support#and thank you for the req <3 I'll always remember u pixelsbuildmysoul
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Alright y'all, new chapter of (Un)Official Guideofficially coming out on friday! And I'm finally getting ahead on the chapters a bit, so we should have some new chapter uploads weekly for. At least the next three weeks?
But big things are happening, we're nearing the end of part one and tones will be shifting, things will be revealed, characters will realize things! I'm so excited!
#(un)official guide#bee talks#I meant to get this out last friday#oops#oh well#also the current chapter was about 5k words and I still had stuff I wanted to add#and there was a clear divide in the middle#so I decided to just split it into two separate chapters again#not a part one and part two tho#two separate things entirely#poor stanny#you think things are bad for him now?#Well uh#They'll get better#for a bit anyway :)#then exponentially worse#thats WAYY far in the future though
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Gontinck
It's when a robot is missing, and after searching for a while you realize they learned how to think and are having a midlife crisis
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scrosciare for Rassel?
scrosciare - the action of rain pouring down or of waves hitting rocks and cliffs
"Everything is different now.
And I don't know what to do about it."
A small figure on chalky cliffs inhales deeply. The salty ocean spray stings for them worse than it does for most.
It is not enough to deter them.
"It'd be easier if I could say it was a bad thing. I don't think it is at all. Everyone seems so much happier now. We have more friends than ever, and they're..."
A breeze buffets them, harsher than the rest.
That's the only reason they hesitate.
Surely.
"...they're nice. I'm sure they're cool, lovely people. Evan made Echo laugh so hard juice came out of nose one time. Even I'm not so blind that I can't see how inseparable Eli and Dec are, mooning over eachother like that."
A soft laugh drowned out by the waves. As if it needs to be. As if anyone was around to hear them.
Or... Well.
Anyone that hasn't already heard worse. Said worse.
"And Tizzy is cool. It's still so wild that she found my lute. I thought I sent it straight into the sea."
A seabird lands beside them, large enough that its wingspan dwarfs their own. The little figure freezes, a shiver skittering down their spine.
"And where am I?"
Rassel exhales slowly, slumping inward.
"Talking to myself. Only a bird as company."
A thin spike of annoyance stabs them. They brush it off easily.
"You said you'd give me alone time, Brian, can you try to act like you aren't listening?"
The wall slides back up. Rassel sighs.
The seabird clacks its beak, inscrutable, before settling down beside them. The small amount of grass beneath it can't possibly be enough to keep it warm, separated from the cold stone, but it stoically watches the sea, head twitching to look around every few seconds.
Rassel looks forward with a sigh.
"I'm being dumb," they laugh quietly. Self-deprecatingly. "I know I am. I don't need anyone to tell me that. I'm just..."
A wave breaks on the stones below, gradually wearing away the cliffside. One day, far in the future, it'll just be a plunge into dark, inky blue.
"I don't know where I fit." An admission to the sea. Their voice wobbles, threatening to break just like the waves. "Everything kept moving without me, and- and everyone looks so fucking happy!"
Their voice crescendos until it's a shout. The seabird beside them startles, squawking, extending giant wings to glide off the cliff, riding the ocean breeze. Away from them.
A smile splits their face. Rassel laughs, clutching their stomach with the force of it. Curling inward as if their silent observer can't tell the difference between tears and seaspray.
"God," they sob, "I hope I still fit!"
#rassel tag#saucesmp#my writing#hi. sorry. i beati g them up okay?#they'll get better#something something. getting used to isolation makes socializing overwhelming and terrifying and you feel like a monster among men#something something. maladaptive coping mechanism of retreating to be as alone as physically possible when overwhelmed#something something. entire island to yourself.#you see ?
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🦴 Nightalon 👀?
OH GOSH,,, welp here we go down the rabbit hole bc Nightalon is actually one of the oldest ocs I have!
How old? Well here was their original design when they were a tfp/YB character who was a Megatron Soundwave baby, purely bc I liked their designs. This design? Is over 3+ years old.
They were actually Just based off their name at first, I liked the name and thought it'd make a cool oc, in this first iteration their character was basically big goof who had an incident where their nodes were fried so hard they never felt pain, but were NOT indestructable. So they would walk into the con base bleeding from the arc and with no idea what was going on.
After that they became a StarSound baby I believe? Though I still barely touched their character. However when it came to figuring giving Radio a girlfriend in TFA I realized that I hadn't touched Nightalon in forever and found an interesting alt mode for them to take and hey I liked Lugwing so why not make them a lugwing baby... thing is this nightalon changed designs but not much in terms of personality.
OOF, yea but hopefully now you can start to see the basis of the modern Nightalon I settled on. I loved the idea of the triangle pattern suggesting stars without being too direct about it. I liked the general concept too but it needed working. So another design came along
So a while after designing that, I had watched a ton of video essays going over crappy romance media, from fifty shades of grey to the kissing booth to other ones, I started really wanting to explore more of the idea of how those kind of stories can warp the minds of young teenagers and lead to more unhealthy ideas of romance and dedication for them.... Then? I grabbed Nightalon and realized I could do something with this... I also really wanted to explore some more themes surrounding being trans n such and that all combined made for a much more interesting version of Night... One that was also HEAVILY based off Rebecca from Crazy Ex Girlfriend.
That leads us to modern Nightalon! With a backstory that faces struggles with her peers and a resentment towards her family. She threw herself into the very media and fiction I just mentioned.
If you've read Just A Girl In Love [If you look up the song lyrics, you'll see why I chose that song to be the title of her debut fic, its just too fitting-] you'll knew where this headed, she sees Radio, falls in love and while I really want to elaborate more on this in the form of another fanfic from her perspective I might as well spell out more of the subtle parts of that fic.
Nightalon is entranced in the idea of finding someone who she percieves as "Broken" and "Fixing" them, but the fiction she consumes has not given her any healthy ideas on how to do that. As her and Radio grow closer, Nightalon feeds into Radio's worst traits, she wants Radio to embrace her emotional instability, because it plays into her fantasies. It's not malicious but it is unhealthy, Nightalon thinks that Radio is perfect, that she doesn't need to change but instead just needs to run away with her forever and embrace who she is. Night does not trust the adults around her to help Radio due to her own truama too, and therefore tells Radio not to as well. She's not intending to, but she's treating Radio, her relationship with her and the world generally as a big novel where she is the main character and has all the answers. Where her delicate female touch will cure Radio of her depression and her issues and the adults around them just need to catch up with that fact. She's stuck up, views most of her family as somewhat beneath her due to their brutish and dumb nature, and sees herself as the protagonist with all the right ideas.
But reality will hit her hard and what will she do when it does? She didn't mean to hurt anyone, so does she double down on her innocence, or come to terms with having hurt the delicate rose no, the Person she loved more than anything in the world?
#ramblez#WHOOO OMG#IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK A BIT I HAD TO GO BACK AND FIND ALL THESE OLD DESIGNS#BUT THIS WAS SOOOO FUN TO WRITE <3#talking abt my ocs history and such is actually super duper fun!#ty for the ask I hope u enjoy this fucking novel I wrote for you-#oh also modern nightalon was inspired by shows like 13 reasons why too#and the way they kind of made depression seem like#beautiful n shit#yea that also is smth they obviously do-#but tis okay#they'll get better#OR WILL THEY?
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Just a few of the comments from YouTube that amused me.
#watcher#watcher entertainment#the ghoul boys#ryan and shane#ryan bergara#shane madej#steven lim#youtube comments#hopefully they'll learn and get better#we're all human and all make mistakes but moat of us dont do it on this public of a stage
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Kingdom Hearts 2 - Bulky Vendor
#kingdom hearts 2#sora#bulky vendor#heartless#my gif#i love the concept of a little gachapon heartless that you have to chase down#and i've always been a big fan of the reaction commands in this game#having all of these unique interactions you can perform with an enemy is so cool to me#i appreciate the effort put in to each of them and i'd like to gif as many as i can someday#bulky vendor's hp continuously drops as it tries to flee from you. the longer you wait to use the reaction command will-#ensure you a better prize#this is me getting the 'prime capsule' which is the best prize and gives you the most orbs and the highest chance to get an orichalcum#also... there's a tumblr blog themed after this heartless that leaves little capsules in the notes of posts and i loved that so much it-#inspired me to make this post so thank you. idk if they'll see this but this one's for you
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Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal
Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.
#ask me#anon#if you wanna know why i like rarijack more i just think they're a healthier depiction of a domestic and longterm relationship#appledash gives me the vibes of gfs that'll eventually break up#because from s1 to s8 their relationship and communication with each other on serious things never really matures or grows#they were competitive and petty in s1 and they were competitive and petty in s8#arguably worse cuz in that s8 episode their dynamic becomes so toxic they almost cause a student under their care to drown#both of them have a superiority complex that's constantly conflicting with each other and it never really gets resolved#but with rarijack there's a very clear arc of development you can follow in their character#and multiple episodes show how they'll argue and eventually come back together and apologize and communicate and work to better things#you can watch them grow to like and understand each other. in s1 aj scoffs and makes fun of rarity's work in fashion#but in a later season (after some conflict) aj says that she doesn't understand fashion but she knows it means a lot to rarity so it means#a lot to her too. and that's what love is to me. “it didn't mean anything to me until it meant something to you”#it's genuinely really sweet and i'd argue rarijack /feels/ the most romantic out of all the main 6 ships. through arguing they grow closer#which is how it's supposed to be in relationships that last! you argue to work out your interpersonal problems and understand each other#(which is why it's genuinely kinda baffling to me that appledash ended up being canonically married because they never gave me those vibes)#but it really doesn't matter. they're cartoon horses! have fun with them
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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website
#kai.txt#negativity tw#(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them#when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds#'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something#that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place#we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does#to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting#and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces#go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets#that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases#or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place#but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces#they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either#they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters#im just so fucking tired of the disrespect#and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site#we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.
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shoutout to Jake Animorphs for being kinda uninteresting for like forty books and then hitting you so hard when he fully snaps and steps into his role as a hardened military leader at the age of sixteen
and then suddenly that sweet, stressed-out kid is just gone. he only exists to win wars anymore. it makes you realize too late what was lost
#animorphs#thinking about that moment he and rachel shared in one of the david books. where for a moment she sees her scared tired cousin#thinking about how he risked it all early on to send his brother a message not to give up. that they'll save him#and then he gives up on him so fully and completely#compared to marco whose mother was controlled by the actual leader of the invasion but he fought to bring her home#and then also like. when they're all going around grabbing their parents to bring them to safety#jake knowingly chooses to go to his parents last. and that's why they get taken#and i do wonder if he considered that maybe it was better this way. if his decision making wasn't influenced by thinking of them#if he treated his entire family as if they were already dead
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A Dark Night at the University, Chapter 2: Zuko Chases Some Tail
In which we investigate the offices of a certain missing Head of Anthropology. Where could he be.
Latest chapter || Read from the beginning
Summary:
accidentalGuard!Zuko AU. A Ba Sing Se crime noir where, instead of totally ignoring that Zuko stole a guard's swords to fight Jet, the guards gang press this crazy-good-swordfighter who is the nephew of this crazy-good-teamaker into helping out around the station. They quickly learn that the tea skills are not hereditary, and trouble follows this kid.
#avatar the last airbender#atla#zuko#a mystery for the ages#meanwhile Jin meets Song#future BFF bullying begins immediately#Zuko you better get back to the station soon or they'll be sharing all the Good Tea#yes I changed this part's title#now the series can have standardized titles for easy recognition and also I never have to think up a new one again#author WIN
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A gift horse for @piosplayhouse
#better drawn mdzs#I worked very hard on that horse I think it's worth being sorted into the better drawn gallery.#I've been wanting to draw Verdandi for months now! They have such a cute design!!! Pio's designs in general are so good!#I did look up a bunch of horse references and sadly while I had high ambitions I could not replicate the bug eyes of the front facing horse#I instead encourage you all to take a moment and go look up front facing horse. One day I'll have more horse skill points to do it justice.#Regardless of all that; I want to give a huge shout out to Pio!#Thank you so much for being a voice of fun and absurdism in a fandom space that sometimes takes itself far too seriously.#You're unbelievable passionate and creative and one never knows what they'll get when you make a new text post.#And by the gods are you resilient. It is honestly aspirational to watch how you continue to persevere through the toughest of times.#I am sincerely wishing you all the best for this next year. May it be kind and bring your wonderful bounties.
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So we saw Tammy Thompson sing the national anthem in the first episode of s4...
Which prompted Robin and Steve to give each other looks because they remembered Robin's coming out moment in the bathroom, where they made fun of Tammy's singing...
Vickie overheard them joking, and Robin took the opportunity to talk to her, saying that she "used to think that Tammy sounded good because I had this massive crush—um, we took a massively hard class together. We were in Mrs. Click's class together," reminding the audience of Robin's explanation that, in the class, she wanted Tammy to look at her, while Tammy only looked at Steve.
So episodes later, in the boat out on Lovers Lake, where Robin looked at Nancy looking at Steve? Yeah. This was a direct callback.
And it's interesting that even though Robin's crush was specifically mentioned when talking to Vickie, it's this scene with Nancy that we see what Robin referenced in action.
But the question is: why do any of this?
Even though Robin said Vickie is the girl of her dreams, we saw Vickie for approximately 3 min of s4, and it's within the last 20 min of the final episode that they had their first actual on-screen conversation. Meanwhile, Robin had been glued to Nancy's side all season. The writers are smart, they could've inserted Vickie into the main group at any point, to give her and Robin a chance to bond, and to develop their relationship. It's been done before with other characters. If anything, it seems like the last thing the writers would want is to give clear preferential treatment to Robin's dynamic with a character who's (supposedly) not meant to be a love interest for her (especially in the season where the actual love interest is first introduced, and the audience has been mentally prepped for Robin to have romantic interactions). I'm not saying Robin can't have platonic female friends, I'm just pointing out interesting writing choices, and the usage of show vs tell.
#the writers wanted us to root for jancy in s1 so they paired up nancy and jon all season.#they didn't pair nancy with another guy and then say “oh she's actually into jonathan!” they built a dynamic people enjoyed watching#also. let the record show that if robin was a guy then everybody would be shipping her with nancy and not just calling them platonic.#this isn't even hate towards robvick i just want answers and for robin to have a quality love story#genuinely i'd be fine with seeing robin and nancy as platonic if they like... acted platonically. but then you have moments like this#that make me question everything#i suppose the show is having robin get with vickie tho so rip ronance#i do feel a little better about vickie's presence in s5. maybe this is misplaced confidence but i feel like her story with robin—#will at least be cute and get more people on the ship train#maybe ronance will do an elmax where s4 is the most interaction they'll have and their dynamic will completely drop off in s5 until#a pivotal moment happens between them that reaffirms their connection#wow i just remembered el brought max back to life. elmaxers ATE#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#stranger things#ronance#stranger things 4
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At least they're being sincere?????
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I Need Your Help...
CW/ mpreg, language, slight angst (people saying harsh things to/about each other that they don’t really mean because they’re hurt and are stupid dumb idiots that are bad at communicating🥺💔)
Pt. 2
"Here we go," F0rd finally said after sifting through one of the cupboards in the small kitchen and pulling out a can. He chucked it St@n's way, the latter reflexively catching it like he'd been tossed a baseball. "I could warm it up if you'd rather, but it'll take the stove a bit to heat up."
St@nley turned the can in his fingers as he studied the label. Baron NumNums High Flyin’ Pork 'n Beans. 'Not exactly kosher, S1xer,' he almost joked aloud, but kept his mouth shut. It's not something that mattered to himself, anyway. Not anymore.
"Nah, it's fine like it is." he assured as he pulled out a pocket knife. He could practically feel the curious look his brother was giving him as he dug the blade into the lid of the can, making quick work of popping it open and eagerly dipping the spoon he'd been given into it's contents.
Though he wouldn't outright admit it... he was absolutely FAMISHED. So much so he basically shuddered in delight at the mere taste as he popped the first bite into his mouth. 'Finally, something NOT terrible for once!' he thought euphorically. It was by no means a spectacular meal, but to an empty stomach it was manna from heaven.
As he slowly came down from his dopamine high, he noticed F0rd still fumbling through the other cabinets like he had a bad case of tunnel vision. As he studied him, it was only now that St@nley got the chance to really see the scrawny and disheveled state his brother was in. How sluggish his movements were. How pale and gaunt his face was. And his hands… What was the cause for how beaten up they were?... The man looked like he hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks.
‘That’s… not a good sign..,’ St@nley thought, the already existing concern amplified tenfold the longer he looked at him. He cleared his throat awkwardly in an attempt to get his attention. "Hey, uh... why dontcha sit down with me, eh? Get some food in ya? Tell me what's goin' on? I don't mean to be so frank but... You look like hell, Stanf0rd."
"Ah... later," he mused, still distracted by whatever he was searching for. In the midst of his search, his fingers grazed the forming bruise on the left side of his jaw. He opened and closed his mouth experimentally, feeling out the source of a dull yet stubborn pang in his mouth. "I think you broke one of my molars."
"… Right... yeah," St@n chuckled dryly, "uh... sorry 'bout that, by the way..."
"Besides, you're one to talk," he barked, glazing right over St@n's curt apology, "You're not exactly a sight to behold yourself, you know. AND you've currently got a stowaway to worry about." He closed the cupboard door and turned to go to the next room. "Stay here, I'll be back."
St@nley rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. "Bettin' on it…" As soon as F0rd disappeared around the corner, he shot a look to the far end of the table, where the journal lay, and scowled. There were still so many questions he had yet to be answered. He just had to figure out how to get his brother to talk.
For a few minutes F0rd could faintly be heard rummaging through a few drawers, all the while muttering a short 'Now where is the damn thing?..,’ and ‘I swear it was here last time..,’ before he finally let out a mildly triumphant 'Aha!'
When he returned to the kitchen, he'd brought with him a small, worn briefcase (what was, upon setting it onto the table and flipping it open, revealed to be a decently stocked yet obviously thrown-together first aid kit). "Okay, pull up your shirt. Let me see your shoulder."
Letting out a small exasperated breath, St@n carefully (being VERY mindful of how he moved his sore shoulder) wriggled out of his jacket and pulled the back of his shirt up over his shoulders, bunching it up around his neck.
F0rd went to wash his hands, then stepped around and behind his brother to better assess the damage. He winced empathetically as he looked it over.
The burn had to be at least 2nd if not 3rd degree, as the skin was already starting to tighten around the edges of the mark that was left... angry… inflamed... Even worse, though, was the unconventional shape of what was most definitely going to become a scar later.
His brother had basically been branded with an alchemic sigil. Because of him, there was now a permanent reminder of their earlier fight...
And yet another reminder of how far they'd grown apart...
"How bad is it?" St@n's question rang, pulling F0rd from his thoughts.
"Hmm... well... it's, uh..."
"Gonna leave a mark?"
"No doubt about it." He took a moment to grab a washcloth and soaked one of it's corners in soapy water. "I'm gonna have to clean it so it doesn't get infected. It's not gonna feel great, but just-"
"Save the explanation, brainiac," St@n interrupted, mouth full from the latest spoonful of beans. "I’ve been through this song and dance before. Do what you have to, I can deal. Just hurry it up, would ya? It's cold in here."
Now it was F0rd's turn to roll his eyes. And despite himself, a slight smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. 'As brawny and bullheaded as ever, St@nley..,’ he thought amusedly as he began lightly dabbing at the wound. He’d reached the center of the mark where the burn was at its worst when the small sound of his brother hissing through his teeth made him pause. Guilt ate at him, at the prospect of causing his brother any more physical pain than he had already, but he continued cleaning as gently as he could. It simply had to be done.
Once he was satisfied he'd properly disinfected the area, F0rd reached back into the kit, pulled out the bacitracin, and applied it generously to the surface of the burn before topping it off with a sterile pad. It was a very basic mend, he figured, but it would have to do. It was only as he continued working that he realized they'd suddenly fallen quiet again. And while the silence wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, there was still a level of tension that couldn’t be entirely ignored.
As he went to unroll a bundle of gauze, his eyes unintentionally bounced towards St@nley's belly. Judging by the sheer size of it, as it occupied most of the space in his lap, it was obvious he had to be nearing full term... a thought that greatly unsettled his nerves the more he lingered on it… Nevertheless, he decided to pry.
"So, um... When did you find out?"
"’Find out?’"
"About your... situation." he clumsily clarified while he wrapped the gauze around St@n’s shoulder and across his back and chest.
St@nley made a small sound of acknowledgement, drumming his fingers on the surface of the table as he carefully decided his wording. After a moment of thought, a deep sigh dragged itself from his chest. He set his now empty can down and then cradled his chin with his palm as he leaned onto the table on his elbow. "I think... about the first week of September."
“OH…” Only 4 months ago?? “Oh wow, so you were already a ways along then…”
“Yup. I'd been feeling... y’know... off for a while before that, but I just figured I’d caught some crazy flu bug or something during a, uh..,” St@n hesitated, reevaluating, “… freelance job. Was sick as shit for WEEKS. I couldn't keep anything down, didn't have the energy to even keep myself upright...” He grimaced. “God, it was awful, Ford… I swore I felt like I could’ve keeled over at the drop of a hat… And then when I finally, FINALLY thought I'd gotten past it, I started feeling... weird."
F0rd tore off a couple strips of medical tape to secure the wrapping. "Weird?..," he repeated.
"Well... it was hard to place the words at the time, but the best way I could describe it was that it kinda felt like my insides were rearranging themselves. It spooked me enough to seek out a back alley physician, anyway.”
It took everything in him for F0rd to hold his tongue at that revelation, but he stayed silent as his brother explained.
“Didn't have high hopes for an accurate diagnosis, but... Well, how hard would a basic check up be?? Worst case scenario I either got an answer or I didn’t. Not to mention he was dirt cheap. Beggars can't be choosers…” He made an ironically amused sound, “So imagine my surprise when the doc told me I was roughly 18 weeks..."
“I… imagine that news wasn’t exactly anticipated…”
St@nley shook his head lightly. "Needless to say, I called the guy a quack and left. I didn’t want to believe it at first... I couldn’t… Hell, it’s not like I even showed that much. I mean, I’ve always had some heft to my person, so a little extra gut didn’t make me question anything… But considering everything that lead up to then… it all sorta lined up... Then wouldn't ya know it, a handful of positive, corner store pregnancy tests later… turned out the fucker was right."
F0rd finished checking over the bandaging before finally pulling out a chair to sit across from his brother, folding his arms over the table (atop the journal, St@nley noted, still somewhat guarded in manner). His eyes, though exhausted and bothered, remained inquisitive. “So, then… that sensation you were talking about?.. Was that..?”
"Oh… yeah,” St@n lightly chuckled, giving the side of his belly a gentle pat, “that was just junior here figuring out they have legs… and they have NOT let me forget it, either." The small smile on his face faltered. "But, uh... yeah… I've been trying to keep track of the weeks ever since..."
F0rd hummed his acknowledgement, nodding lightly as he processed the information he'd just been given. Then another question, though it was more of an observation in the form of a question. "You've been going about this alone, haven’t you?…"
St@nley lulled his head to the side, his tired expression wordlessly yet clearly asking, 'What's it look like, genius?..’
He pointedly left it at that. Then F0rd’s face fell as another revelation came to mind. "Wait.... You've not been to a doctor SINCE?? It's January, St@nley! That means..." He paused, brows furrowing as he only now took the time to do the math. "Oh my God, you're-"
“‘About to pop,’" St@n finished as he pulled his shirt back down over his torso (a task easier said than done). "Yes, I'm WELL aware of that notion, poindexter. Glad we’re clear on that."
“But what if something happened? What if something went wrong?? You could’ve been seriously hurt, you knucklehead!” F0rd scolded, gesturing vaguely in his brother’s direction. “Or WORSE!!”
"Don’t you think I KNOW that??!" St@n sighed, trying to reign in the sudden burst of frustration. "Look, I... I've not exactly had the luxury of having prenatal care at my disposal, alright?.. I went to a friggin' doc in a box ONE other time for anemia and it took about every penny I had to my name. Believe me, had the option been available to me, I would've made a point to go in a heartbeat… but if I expected to make ends meet on a day to day basis..,” he hung his head lower, eyeing the floor, “… there was just no way..."
F0rd let out a tense breath. "I'm just saying... It's not a good idea to let a pregnancy go unchecked for so long. And then coming all the way out here was dangerous... Who knows who or what you could've run into on the way??"
"Eh... it's arguably safer than where I was before... In fact, if I'm being completely honest, this trip might've just saved my life..." he admitted, his free hand absentmindedly cradling the underside of his belly, "or at least bought me some time..."
"What's that supposed to mean??"
St@n debated over whether or not he should open that can of worms... so he decided he'd keep it brief. "Let's just say I was half expecting to get my head caved in any day now, had I decided to stick around Dead End..." He cast a glance that suggested the subject be dropped.
F0rd's eyes briefly widened in unease. He then pressed them shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Dear God, St@nley..," he sighed. He didn’t even have it in him right then to ask for any further elaboration.
The room was quiet during their intermission, as they gave themselves time to debrief.
Then, allowing himself an intentionally long, drawn out breath, St@nley leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Alright, your turn."
"Hm?" F0rd looked back up warily.
"I gave you my sob story, let's hear yours!"
"'Sob story?'” his tone took an air of offense to it, “I’ll have you know this is a very serious matter!"
“So I've heard…”
F0rd scowled at the blatant sarcasm. “I mean it, St@nley! This is something so much bigger than you or I! It could mean the end of effectively everything as we know it!”
"Okay then, ENLIGHTEN me! It's what I've been trying to get you to do this whole friggin’ time! Just tell me what’s going on, without all the cryptic bullshit! Why did you need me to come here just to send me away again, Stanf0rd?" He quickly reached for and snatched the journal out from under his brother's arms, waving it carelessly in front of him. "And what's so damn important about this book that you need it gone but not destroyed?? If it's SO dangerous, why not just shred the thing??" He punctuated his short tangent by dropping the leatherback loudly in the center of the table, the booming sound making his brother flinch.
"I already told you!" F0rd said as he picked it back up with both hands, "The information recorded in these journals is much too valuable to destroy. However, to ensure it stays out of the wrong hands, it must be taken away from here... it could be disastrous if that happens... And the only other person that I could have entrusted to take it flat out refuses to speak to me!..," his gaze landed on the journal he held, his reflection stared back from the emblem in the center. "... You were my last resort... The last hope I have of ever fixing the mess I've caused..." He looked back up to his brother. "And that's why it's of the utmost importance to take this thing FAR away from here as SOON as humanly possible!"
"Mm-hm..." St@n ran his hands along the length of his face. “Yeah, see, I just don’t understand what good squirreling this thing away in some hole on the other side of the planet is gonna do. 'Bury it where no one can find it??' I could just chuck this thing over a mountainside in the Rockies and it'd be dealt with!" He readjusted himself in his seat, straightening up. "But more importantly, what I'd like to know is who these 'wrong hands' are referring to. The mob? The government?? Are you saying someone's got a hit on you??"
Stanf0rd groaned, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "You don't get it, St@nley..."
‘When do I ever?..,’ he thought bitterly, his patience growing ever thinner the longer he prodded. He swore he could get more answers out of a goddamn brick wall.
"It HAS to be taken far enough away that it can't be stumbled upon by just any passersby. And if I were to go hide it myself, I'd be wasting valuable time that I need to prepare for what's coming! I have to make it out to the ruins before the snowfall covers the only entrance to the caves! And if I don't go IMMEDIATELY, there might not be another chance to do anything before..,” might as well not beat around the bush any longer, “he brings forth complete and utter chaos!"
At that, there was a beat… then St@nley made a tired noise, rubbing his temples. “Okay… alright… cool…” His head was beginning to hurt now. "Juuuust leave it to ol' S1xer to make the explanation confusing-"
“Do NOT call me by that name!!” came a sudden, visceral interjection, making St@n nearly jump out of his skin.
All the energy in the room came to a screeching halt.
Breathing heavily for a minute, and seeing the startled confusion etched into his brother’s face, F0rd realized he'd lashed out and visibly shrunk in his seat. "I... sorry, it's not... that wasn’t… y-you didn't know, I... Gosh, I'm sorry..." he babbled, avoiding eye contact, "I don't know what came over me..." The shame he felt was unbearable… To think he let himself get so worked up over something so silly as a nickname… all because of-…
It was only when the sound of his brother gently rapping on the table, to get his attention, registered that he dared look back up to face him.
As he leaned forward on the table, arms folded tightly underneath him, St@nley's demeanor had shifted… no trace of sarcasm left to be seen. "Who did this to you, F0rd?..." There was an intensity in his voice that was equal parts steadying and intimidating, his eyes meeting his brother's and locking. Though it obviously wasn't directed at himself, F0rd could swear there was a murderous glint in that gaze... “Who's threatening you?... Who scared you so badly that you're taking these drastic measures??..."
"I..." F0rd suddenly felt so transparent, like he was being read like a book… Somehow St@nley had managed to just about hit the nail on the head… He covered his face, beginning to feel overwhelmed. There was so much he wanted to explain in full... but could he without endangering either his brother or himself?? Or rather, could he explain himself without sounding like a total madman??
“Who used that name and tarnished it, Stanf0rd??…”
“I-I..,” he stuttered, breaking, "I can't... Th-There's simply no way for me to explain everything for you to understand!"
"Then HELP me to understand!” St@nley pleaded, at his wits’ end. It hurt him so badly to see his brother so utterly tormented with no way for him to get through to or comfort him. He HAD to get through to him… somehow! “HELP me! I’m really, really, REALLY tryin’ here, F0rd, but you're not giving me anything to work off of! I sound like a fucking broken record saying this shit! I care about you, you dumbass, I’m your BROTHER! So you can't keep leaving me in the dark! You have to trust me! Please just trust me, Stanf0rd!"
Trust me...
Those two little words that he’d heard time and time again… those two words that, to him, had lost every ounce of sincerity due to the sheer amount they’d been used and squandered by so very many people in his life… Hearing those two words suddenly agitated F0rd to no end.
He looked his brother in the face and scoffed, "OH, no! NO!! YOU, of all people, don't get to go preaching to ME about TRUST, Mr. 'Buy my products, they won't do you wrong! I'm just your humble, neighborhood salesman who ISN’T a shyster whatsoever! Did I tell you to buy my products yet??’”
The deer-in-the-headlights look St@n gave him only managed to light a fire under him as he desperately took the chance to redirect the attention away from himself.
"Yeah, that’s right, St@nley! Or should I refer to you by one of your ridiculous aliases like 'P@nley St1ne's??' … 'P@NLEY,' St@nley?! You couldn't come up with anything better than that?!" He shook his head, getting sidetracked, "My point is, I've seen what you've been up to over the years! In fact there's been no way to avoid seeing it! I've seen the ads in the papers! The commercials! The... 'products,' if you could even call them that! I've SEEN how you've scammed people! How you’ve LIED to people! Hell, if I didn't just see your bare belly l'd have half a mind to assume you stuffed a damn pillow up your shirt in a shoddy attempt to fool me!"
St@nley stared at him in disbelief, mouth slightly agape. The rest of what his brother said hurt well enough, but that last part?? "What in the-... Where on EARTH did you get that idea, Stanf0rd?? Do you you realize how completely DEMEANING that accusation is?? What could I possibly hope to gain?? Faking THIS??" he exclaimed, aggressively gesturing to himself with his hands bracketing his burgeoning middle.
"I don't know, SYMPATHY?? Some twisted method of MANIPULATION?? Seems like something a con-man such as yourself wouldn't think twice about exploiting!"
St@n reeled back as though he'd been struck. That one got him. "... Is that really what you think of me??..,” came an uncharacteristically quiet tone, "Do you really think I'd try and pull a fast one on you in your time of need??..."
As much as he hated himself for it, as much as F0rd KNEW he shouldn’t say it, the instinctive desire to get the last word in overruled whatever rational response he should have spouted… and a venomous response slipped out before he could stop himself. “... Frankly, I wouldn't put it past you..."
St@nley stared down at the floor for several moments, processing everything that had just been laid out before him. To think his own brother thought so little of him... Sure, what he'd said was vaguely in line with the truth, regarding his grifting record. Conning strangers for his own benefit was one thing, albeit not a great thing and certainly not something he was proud of, but it was something he simply had to resort to to make ANY kind of basic living… To trick his family though?... his own BROTHER?? To suggest he'd even go so far as to fake a pregnancy of all things just to tug at his heartstrings... that was a low even he didn't think he could bring himself to sink to.
In that moment, it was made clear to him; After everything he suffered for, everything he tried in vain to atone for, and after over a DECADE of radio silence... his brother still held to that idea that he was this selfish, deceitful, untrustworthy monster...
The regret was immediate as soon as the words left Stanf0rd’s lips. Why’d he have to go and say that? With stakes as high as they were, for more reasons than one, stirring the pot was the last thing he needed to do and yet… "I... St@nley, I... I-I didn't mean-…"
After a minute of brooding, St@n scooped his jacket off the floor, snaking his arms back through it's sleeves as he finally stood up from his chair. "Y'know what? That's it. I don’t care anymore. I'm done."
“'Done??' What do you mean 'DONE??'” His eyes keenly followed him as he passed by. "St@nley, where are you going?"
"What’s it to you? It’s not like you actually wanted me here. After all, I was your last resort, right?” his voice was monotone as he made his way to the front door… empty… hurt… “As always, Stanf0rd Filbr1ck P1nes, you were right. I shouldn’t ‘ve come… I shouldn’t ‘ve bothered…”
Stanf0rd immediately got up and grasped the fabric of St@n’s sleeve, holding him in place. “Now hang on a minute, would you please just listen to me for a second??”
Try as he had to keep the rage bottled up, that was the last straw. “Yeah, sure... Or how 'bout this?” Smacking the hand off his jacket sleeve, St@nley turned on his heel, scornfully wagging his pointer finger in his brother's face, prompting the latter to back up a step. “You listen here, and you listen GOOD, smartass! I don't need you lecturing me, REMINDING me of how shitty a person I am! I KNOW I'M A SCREW UP, STANF0RD! I KNOW that!! Preaching to the freakin' choir on that front!" He looked down at himself and laughed a humorless laugh. "I mean hell, just LOOK at me! I'm knocked up with some bastard-not-worth-the-air-he-breathes' bastard! All with no place to call home! That's fuck up incarnate, amirite??"
F0rd began to respond but was abruptly cut off.
“And here’s another thing you were right about; the WHOLE-ASS drive up here and how much it absolutely SUCKED! Over thirteen-fucking-HUNDRED miles on the road is no place to be when you’re essentially a walking, talking time bomb! The whole drive, the whole drive, I've had this crippling, nagging fear at the back of my brain telling me I’d likely end up hopelessly lost! Or, better YET, reminding me of the possibility that I’d might have to pull over at some point and spit this kid out on the side of the road without any help! Do you know how terrifying that thought was, F0rd?? When you’re trying to navigate those insanely long back roads nobody knows about, all on your own?? And all for the sake of showing up when your brother asked for you to, because you foolishly thought he actually NEEDED you?? OF COURSE YOU DON’T!! Cuz that WASN'T you, that wasn't YOUR problem, and thus it doesn’t MATTER!! The world revolves around YOU, and anyone else's issues can go ahead and take a back seat for all you care, isn’t that right??"
“St@nley, stop it! You’re becoming hysterical!” F0rd attempted to reason, wanting desperately to diffuse the situation… Needless to say, it was fruitless…
“NO!! Because you wanna know what else?? NEWSFLASH, brother, YOU'RE not perfect either! You act like you're ‘God's gift to the populace’ or something when you're NOT! It's not like you ever bothered to help ME out when I needed somebody! I’ve only ever had myself for the better part of 10 years, so it would’ve been nice for you to, I dunno, check in once or twice! Or at least a throw out some bullshit 'Hey, bro! Hope you're alive and doing alright! I can't talk or meet with you right now, and frankly I probably don't WANT to, but I hope you know l've not forgotten about you and that somewhere deep down I still love you! Take care, St@nley!' for some semblance of caring! Just SOMETHING!! Some acknowledgment that I EXIST!! That-That I’m not just a-a-a STAIN left behind!! So WHY?? Why did I care?? Why did I think-..?!" He froze when his voice suddenly cracked, cutting him off before he could continue.
Now noticing how hazy his vision had become, how shaky his hands were, he was horrified to realize that he'd burst into tears partway through his rant. All the repressed emotions were starting to show face... 'Humiliated' couldn't even BEGIN to cover how he felt right then... And when he finally studied the expression F0rd currently wore, he felt like he might vomit.
That all too familiar look of pure, unadulterated… pity… The physical embodiment of ‘Oh you poor, pathetic thing...’
St@nley DESPISED that look… It’d been one he’d received countless, countless times in his life. And while he knew that more often than not the intent behind that expression was never truly out of ill meaning, the immense degradation it brought him was suffocating. He couldn’t bear to see it another second… especially coming from his own flesh and blood. He squeezed his eyes shut to escape it.
F0rd, meanwhile, was at a complete loss for words. What could he say? What should he say?? How could he explain the sheer magnitude of what’s been going on that didn’t sound like the utter ramblings of a man who’s lost his mind?? How could he convince St@nley to put aside their personal issues for a second and help aid him in fixing this mess?? Important things needed attending to!! This was a matter of the fate of the WORLD, dammit!! The livelihood of effectively EVERYONE!!
But then… his brother’s points made him reflect… What of his brother’s woes?… St@nley’s woes??... The woes of the person who, at one point in time, meant MORE to him than the world itself??… Did they not matter in the grander scheme?? The hardships St@nley had gone through completely alone, left unbeknownst to him just because he… couldn't bring himself to reach out and see how his brother was actually doing?.. Simply because he couldn't bear the thought of truly knowing how rough he had it in life while they were apart?..
Assuming St@nley was just wandering aimlessly around all this time, without a care or ounce of respect for anyone in the world, made ignoring those painful thoughts so much easier... Knowing what he did now, he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
For so long, Stanf0rd had spent every waking hour pouring over his research, dragging himself along through countless sleepless nights, pushing anyone and everyone away... out of his mind... out of his heart... all to combat an omniscient evil he still frustratingly… didn’t quite understand yet, himself... His work had completely and utterly consumed him. He’d lost sight of what few allies he had… He'd lost sight of his family… And loathe as he was to admit it, perhaps in this mission to ‘save humanity,’ he actually lost sight of his own…
As he concluded his thought, one thing was made painfully clear… Somehow, one way or another, both his brother and himself had each come to face some form of isolation…
They really were two sides of the same coin...
Taking a moment to steel himself again, St@n pressed the heel of his hand against one eye and then the other, wiping away the tears that managed to run down his cheeks. "I should've known better than to think I could ever be of any help to you... of any value to you... So I’ll do you the courtesy of getting the hell outta your hair. For good this time.”
“St@nley…”
“Can it!” St@nley swiftly snatched the duffle bag off the floor and turned to grab the doorknob, then called out over his shoulder. "Oh yeah, one last thing! Thank you EVER so much for the new 'tattoo!' What better souvenir to remember your estranged brother by than one that's been burned directly into your skin, eh? Your hospitality is truly unmatched, Stanf0rd. TRULY." He re-zipped his jacket and yanked the door open. "See ya never, fuck head," he spat before he slammed the door behind him.
"Hey! HEY!! St@nley, WAIT!!" F0rd followed close behind, storming his way to the door and ripping it back open about as quickly as it was shut. "Damnit St@nley, would you just hold on a second and hear me out-AH!.," he gasped, flinching when he'd almost ran into his brother from behind.
St@n had stopped short on the porch, motionless.
Huffing, he sternly maneuvered around to the right of his brother to face him from the side. “Please, think rationally! You know as well as I do that you have no business running around in the condition you’re in! Look, I get that you’re upset, alright?? I’m sorry! I really am! But you can’t just skip off and..,” he trailed off when he realized St@n was staring straight ahead over the front yard, the look on his face unreadable. He tentatively followed the trajectory of his line of sight, only to freeze in place himself. “… leave…”
Their wide eyed expressions mirrored each other’s, standing parallel as they both gazed at the sight before them.
Snow had piled up by several feet. MUCH higher than it had been earlier . Within just a few hours it had gone from knee height to probably high enough to halfway submerge a person. In the distance, only the rough shape of El Diablo was visible, having a thick cocoon of snow encompassing the body of the vehicle.
And the snow just KEPT coming.
There was no getting out in that…
St@n groaned defeatedly, burying his face in his hands. “Whatever higher power has it out for me can kindly kiss my ass…”
TBC
#mpreg#mpreg fic#not kink#PaternityF@lls-St@n#INeedYourHelpFic#Would someone KINDLY explain to me howst the FUCK I went from writing a silly MPREG fic#to writing out a whole goddamn brothers' quarrel#HELP???#HOW DID WE GET HERE???#WHY DID I SPEND A WHOLE WEEK ON THIS PIECE IF SHIT???#THEY MAKE ME SIIIIICK#But uh... anyway#The jerks are just being jerks to each other#don't worry about it🥲#I promise -I PROMISE- they'll be nice to each other EVENTUALLY#They both got over a decade's worth of issues to work out that they've not been to therapy for#what better way to be forced to talk it out than being SNOWED IN? Now that's FREE therapy!!#Tell me what y'all think! Did i try to pack too much here??#Probably... oh well🙃
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