#they're a trainwreck

[astriiformes]

On the one hand I would prefer a functional government, but on the other, the sheer comedy and Schadenfreude of the House Republicans descending into petty, humiliating chaos while the Dem folks are showing up with literal popcorn and chanting for their own Speaker nominee like this is a high school sports game is filling me with manic glee.

[yer-a-mess-kid]

kim's not even looking at him

[missmolsa]

At it again with my favorite worsties!!!! Divorce when

[agnesandhilda]

my take on the funniest possible isagi/kaiser/ness dynamic

[moongothic]

Okay so realistically speaking, giving birth is an excruciating, painful nightmare, and from the few Crocodad fics I've seen most people seem to prefer to write realistic pregnancy and make Luffy's birth a (physically) painful thing. Because it makes sense, it might be more relatable for some writers that way etc, and that's perfectly fine (like genuinely, it's not an issue at all, this is not a critique or a complaint)

God I don't know how to make this segue- Have any of you watched Ore Monogatari!! (My Love Story)? It's a great early 2010s romantic comedy series, funny as hell, super cute and sweet, would reccomend, but that aside. During the series the protagonist Takeo's mother gets pregnant and she ends up giving birth to Takeo's baby sister. And it's that scene, where Takeo's baby sister is born, that I keep on thinking back to whenever I wonder how Luffy's birth might've gone.

Takeo and his mother alike are Sturdy Motherfuckers. Like absolute gigachads, borderline superhuman, it's great and it's funny as hell. And because of that near superhuman nature... Takeo's mother goes to give birth at 4:15 pm. And she has finished giving birth at 4:16 pm. One fucking minute is what it took for this woman to bring a child into this world. An absolute legend

The screencaps do not do justice to how fucking funny this is in the actual episode

And so like

Like we know Crocodile's been through absolute hell, being an amputee and all. And as Domino told us at the entrance of Impel Down, we also know the man did not even flinch when forced into Impel Down's traditional 200 Celsius cleansing bath (or 392F)

So Crocodile has better pain tolerance than the average person. Like, you might have to put in a bit of effort to cause him actually hurt. So if giving birth to Luffy was an absolute cakewalk for Crocodile, not only would it make perfect sense in-universe and be completely in-character for him, but also

It would be objectively funny as hell

[prolibytherium]

I go into shows with zero expectation that any gay shit will actually happen but I REALLY thought Dee and the waitress were going to fuck in the Ladies Boggs Reboot. Like all the 'horny but there are no MEN on this plane!!'/the Chris Evert scissoring joke + "you're my Chris Evert"/the waitress mistaking Dee for Dennis in a drunken haze etc I really thought the natural conclusion would be them having a truly awful airplane bathroom hookup and probably never speaking of it again, as a gag. BUT ALAS

[dragon-spaghetti]

Annoying little brother + mom friend = The Dynamic Ever

(Please click for better quality!! Not intended as ship)

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

[madanimalscientist]

StaticMoth and Pride Month - a silly thought

It takes like 20 years of being with Val before Vox admits he's bi, rather than a dude who likes to fuck other dudes sometimes

Like I can just imagine this happening:

Vox: As a good old fashioned heterosexual man, I just don't understand all these flags and stuff these days...

Val: A what? But you aren't though?

Vox: More or less!

Val: And I count as a chick to you?

Vox: Everyone's allowed one exception to the rule...

Val: We literally got married though

Vox: That was for tax reasons

Val: [glares]

Vox: Fine, as a mostly heterosexual man....

Val: You're in denial that's what you are, why do I even let you fuck me....[grumpy moth noises]

[princesssarcastia]

the thing about house and wilson is that they’re both always, always, always playing the game with people* around them where they push and push and push and poke and prod and stab and escalate until they find that line the other person can’t see crossed.  usually, after they’ve already crossed it. 

they’re playing that game with each other—only neither one of them has a line they would find it unforgivable if the other crossed.  and they both know this!  but instead of being comforted by that fact and toning down the crazy, they both keep pushing and poking and prodding and stabbing each other, making existing wounds wider and carving out new ones.  it’s horrifying!  it’s intriguing!  i want to study them under a microscope! 

the man who is the point around which your world turns would forgive you anything, and you love him so much that you develop a pathological need to see him do it.  and he loves you so much he does the exact same thing.

*house is doing this with everyone.  wilson is doing this with the people he cares about the most.

[primumincaelo]

god i have no thoughts in my brain. i'm soooooo sorry y'all. i swear i'll get back to writing tomorrow after work i swear

[plebeiangoth]

The new Dune movies are missing two very important things. No I didn't read the books.

Exhibit A:

Guild Navigator.

Same lad, in a tank.

Exhibit B:

The little guys

Villeneuve, you're a fucking coward

Though I can no longer fault anyone for a lack of tits-out promo photos, thank you Zendaya.

[artofsitriga]

The Director and the Head of Research are stargazing =DD

[lgbtlunaverse]

The thing about having nieyao brainrot when watching amc the terror is that jin guangyao is approximately 50% hickey and 50% james fitzjames and nie mingjue is 100% crozier which becomes VERY funny when you look a the absolute chasm-sized difference between those two respective relationships

The idea of having BOTH "Are we brothers, Francis? I would like that very much" and "I forgive all of them, but you" in one relationship is an absolute fucking clusterfuck but also perhaps the best approximation of what nieyao have going on.

[sherlock-is-ace]

it's so funny to hear the argentinian teams sing the national anthem because the version they're using in the olympics has a faster tempo and is missing an instrumental bit in the middle (because our anthem is so fucking long). But everyone sings it in the normal tempo which doesn't fit!

So to the rest of the world we look so stupid, like we don't know our own national anthem lol

[roszabell]

I found an old ass note to myself about PruCan nicknames and I'm laughing because there's one I really want to bring back, I remember my reasoning and everything, like just

Matt: hey goose Gil: aw sick, like im goose to your maverick Matt: no, like silly goose Gil: ,,please do not fucking call me that in public Matt: hehe